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kweebtrash · 5 years ago

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Gay Bars and Stripper Poles

Features: Johnny on a stripper pole, making out, grinding, nipple sucking,getting pressed against a wall, groping

[9:12pm]

"Wait so, Ten is here?" Johnny asked.

"Yeah, he's one of the performers for amateur night. He's super fish." I said as we stood in line to get into the gay bar. Quinn was on my other side clutching onto my arm as it was a bit brisk and they were hell bent on stealing what little warmth I had.

"Fish? ...what?"

"Fish. Fishy. It means that he looks really feminine in drag. He's a bit unclockable."

"Un-? Can you speak english? Please?"

I sighed. "Why are you so straight? Live a little tonight please." Little did I know I was going to regret ever saying that.

"Hey at least I'm here, aren't I? I've never been to a gay bar in my life. This is new." He said and shoved his hands in his pockets, looking around nervously.

Jaehyun snubbed out his black & mild into the brick of the building. "So...like what should I do if one hits on me?"

"ONE HITS ON YOU?" Quinn exclaimed. "Jae, were people not objects."

"No, I didn't mean it like that!"

"Dumbass. If a dude hits on you just turn them down like any other person. And if they don't quit just come get me." I rolled my eyes and moved up in the line, getting my id out. "Literally just chill. It's gonna be fun. Ten will be happy to see you."

They both grumbled and followed Quinn and I inside. We got our wristbands and paid our entrance fee, stepping into the club fully. Before I could even say anything Jae and Johnny went over to the bar, leaving Quinn and I by ourselves. "Do you want to try and dance? Today they at least have decent music instead of the bubblegum pop mix."

"You know I don't dance much but I'll follow you. Why did we bring these straight idiots with us?"

"Because they're cute and dumb and we like fucking them. Also I need to educate them so they're not as fucking stupid and full of this toxic masculinity. Like why is it that hard to be open without thinking that you're weak?"

"I mean, they're screwing us so I guess that's a step in the right direction?" Quinn offered.

I winced. "They don't acknowledge our genders or the fact that were really queer…"

"Listen, no one does. It's the bullshit we have to deal with every day of our lives."

"Hey it could be worse, you could be a queer non-binary person of color, ayyyyyyy." I gave them finger guns and they punched my shoulder lightly.

"Oh my god, shut up." They laughed. "I mean it's true but shut up."

I dragged them over to the dance floor then, keeping to a small corner and away from the rush of the crowd. We swayed to the music just a bit but spent most of the time talking about the stupid men we pocketed into our beds. Over a half hour had passed and neither Johnny or Jae had returned. We were starting to get worried and retreated towards the bar area spotting them surrounded by a couple of thirsty little twinks. Their perception of having guys hit on them seemed to have changed when they realized they could get drinks out of the flirtatious men.

"Oh my god." Quinn said. "Are they really-"

"Yep." I shook my head in disbelief as Johnny flirted and leaned into the boy closest to him, all smiles and casual touches. "These fucking idiots found out that thirsty sluts will buy them drinks if they baited them enough. Meanwhile, they haven't bought us anything and were the ones they actually fuck."

"This is homophobic."

"Absolutely." I pushed a few boys out the way and went over to Johnny.

"Excuse me, honey. You can leave." One of his "suitors" tried to interject. I scoffed and tossed my hair over my shoulder.

"That's funny, sweetie," I said bitterly. "Try me." I grabbed onto Johnny's shirt and pulled him to me, covering him in a rushed and heated kiss. He instantly grabbed my ass and smirked into my lips, digging his tongue into my mouth. My fingers crawled into his hair, tugging at the strands by the nape of his neck. I heard scoffs of disgust from the surrounding men and added a little leg pop for emphasis that Johnny was so not interested.

He parted from me and swiped his thumb across his bottom lip. "You're fucking hot when you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous. You're baiting them, idiot. Also are you already drunk?"

"Pppfftttttt….no." He giggled.

"How much did you have?"

Johnny turned to Jae and hit his chest. "Bro, how much did we have?"

"Uh like we got 3 shots each...uh…" Jae eyes drifted to the left, squinting a bit as he thought. "Oh we had like 2 mixed drinks, I had- a what was that thing called?"

"A martini thingy!"

"Yeah, yeah, bro! That! Anyway, it's fucking great! I want boys to buy me more drinks!!"

"Yeah, well us too!" Quinn pouted. "Were you going to ask us if we wanted anything?"

Johnny waved them off. "Go buy your own stuff! We're about to play pool!" He put his arm around Jae's shoulder and veered him towards the pool tables that were near the walls.

I set my elbow on the bar and propped my chin in my hand. "Welp...guess we better start doing shots." I concluded.

"When in doubt, drink to forget." Quinn hopped into a bar stool and waved down the bartender.

It didn't take long for me to start feeling a little buzzed, thank god. Quinn had turned into a giggled and handsy mess and I let them have their fun touching my ass and giving me plenty of kisses. Just as we were in the beginnings of a make out session I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Ooh Ten!" I squealed as I turned to see him all glammed up. He really did look beautiful. His lithe body was made for skimpy outfits that showcased his dance moves and splits. His makeup was a glittery and seductive explosion, highlighted to the gods and blended to perfection.

He flipped his long wig over his shoulder and gave me a kiss. "I'm so happy you guys came! I'm kinda nervous."

"What for?!" Quinn hiccuped. "You're literally the best dancer ever and a giant slut! You're gonna do great!"

Ten laughed. "Thank you. I'm hoping I do well enough. I need some tips. I'm broke as fuck."

"Well you can definitely take a few from my tits." I joked.

"Duh, I'm always ready to have my face in your tits. But not in drag. My balls are so far up my ass I feel like my circulation is gonna be cut off."

"Have fun ripping that duct tape off." Quinn said before tossing back another shot.

"Eh, I don't mind the pain." Ten smirked. I nudged him playfully and motioned towards the bartender to get me another ale. "Anyway, who did you come with?"

"Johnny and Jae. They found out that desperate sluts will buy them drinks." I rolled my eyes.

"I mean, don't they already know that with you two?" Ten smirked.

"Hell no! We're the ones that they should be getting drinks for!" Quinn yelled and swayed a bit. "It's a damn crime. They haven't bought us anything."

"Well then ask them! Where the hell are they anyway?!" Ten scanned the dance floor quickly while I took a long sip of my ale and closed out my tab. "Ohhh my gooodddd." Ten gripped my shoulder and whipped me around in the stool roughly.

When I looked up I spit out my ale, sending myself in a coughing fit. Johnny was no longer at the pool table and instead he was climbed on top on one of the stripper poles that were placed on either side of the dance floor. Jae was on the other, the both of them surrounded by a swarm of men and a few girls, who were eager to give them singles. Johnny grabbed onto the pole and did a little twirl before jumping up to wrap his legs around it.

"Ooh daddy!!" Ten said excitedly as he clapped his hands.

"Holy fuck what is he doing?!" I screamed.

"What is Jae doing?!" Quinn questioned as well.

I looked over at the other pole to see Jae already doing body rolls as wandering hands crawled up his long legs.

"Listen, this may be my only chance to fuck Johnny so i'm about to take it!" Ten said

"Excuse me! Don't you dare! He's mi-" I didn't even get to finish as my attention drifted back to Johnny who had his tongue sticking out as he shimmied his hips and teased the crowd by raising his shirt to show off his abs. A stray hand also slid up his legs and tucked a dollar into the waistband of his underwear that just peeked above his jeans. I wanted to look away as it was equal parts embarrassing but also a bit sexy. What an absolute fucking idiot.

Ten waved me away and made a beeline for Johnny. I groaned and grabbed onto Quinn's hand, dragging them out of the seat. "Eri!! You're going too fast and my head is spinning!!"

"We need to get these idiots off these poles!"

"What's the big deaaalll! It's kinda hot actually. You can't tell me that Johnny shaking his ass isn't hot!"

My cheeks flared up and my mouth snapped shut. I didn't really know how to respond, especially because his cute little peach butt was my favorite. "W-well I...I mean...they just shouldn't be on there!"

"Why not? You and Ten get on the pole all the time. I've seen you flash plenty of people when you wore those mini skirts."

"Quinn!!" I whined. "That's not the point right now!"

"You're being a jelly baby." They stated flatly and crossed their arms

"I am not!! Oh my god, fine. You know what, fine. I'll leave him up there to-" Johnny was now bending backwards from the pole, mouth wide open to accept a jello shot from a glitter covered go go boy. He bounced back up as he chewed and rolled his hips, a huge dopey smile on his face. Ten had joined him on the pole, dragging his clawed hand up Johnny's torso and cupping his face. Ten had always wanted Johnny and seeing him act like this much of a fool had him thinking he could get away with trying to seduce him. I pouted just a bit as Johnny leaned into Ten, teasing him by getting close to his lips before pulling away. Ten was all over Johnny then, encouraging him to grind on the pole (and him).

I rolled my eyes and went to tell Quinn that I was going outside for a smoke but they had already run off to the pole Jaehyun was on. He had taken off his shirt and was spinning it above his head like damn helicopter blades. If this was them after a few shots and drinks I'd hate to see how they acted when they were about to be black out drunk. I maneuvered through the crowd and managed to get to the back door that lead out to the patio. A few people were scattered about, smoking, but it was definitely quieter out here. I descended the stairs and crunched over the gravel to the darkest corner beneath them. Most of the shadow from the stairs covered me and I relished in the fact that no one would probably notice me here. I took a cigarette from the carton in my small purse and lit it, inhaling deeply and closing my eyes.

My peacefulness was shattered a few moments later when I heard his booming voice. "There you are!" He laughed. "I was looking for you!"

I opened my eyes to see him sweat drenched with dollar bills sticking to his stomach and out of his underwear. He lifted the bottom of his shirt and wiped his forehead and neck. I plucked off one of the dollar bills as I exhaled a cloud of smoke. "Well Magic Mike, did you have fun?"

"Hell yeah! I didn't think I would get money and free drinks!This place is awesome!" He pulled off the singles and tucked them into the pocket of his jeans.

"Did you make out with Ten?"

"Ah, no. I'm not drunk enough for that. Definitely don't think I ever will be." He got closer and pressed his hand to the wall above me. "Why? Did you not want me too?"

"Oh no," I shrugged and tapped out my ashes. "I was just waiting to hear about your bisexual awakening. Those are always fun. And we could've had a nice threesome."

His smile disappeared almost instantly. "That's not funny, Eri. You know I don't share."

"You're such a dumbass." I took another drag and held it in for a bit. "Go pull your singles out and see if you can make yourself useful and buy me a drink."

"Why are you being bitchy? You still jealous I had all those guys all over me?" He leaned in closer and I exhaled the smoke in his face, making him scrunch his nose.

"Hardly, Mikey. I'd just like to be a little drunker than I am right now."

"What if I gave you a private show? Hmm?"

"Ooohh so now you're wanting to grind up on me? Well alright. Just let me start playing Pony and we'll cut to the chase." I quipped sarcastically.

He pressed himself against me, grabbing onto my hips and moving me with him. "If you're horny let's do it, ride it, my pony-" He sang and I burst into a fit of laughter.

"Johnny stop! Oh my god!!"I tried pushing him away but he put my arms around his shoulders. "You're such a dork!"

"My saddles, waiting, come on and jump on it." On the last few words his hands went back down to my ass and he lifted me onto his hips, pressing me between the wall and his body. I swallowed hard and noticed the plotting smirk on his lips.

"What are you doing?" I whispered. "Someone's gonna see us!"

"Let them." He took the cigarette from my fingers and took a long drag. He lowered his lips to mine and I parted them letting him shotgun the smoke into my mouth. "You look really hot tonight by the way."

I blushed slightly at the compliment. "T-thanks. You wanna put me down now?"

"Hell no." He crashed his lips against mine, giving me barely a second to react before his tongue was diving against mine. I kept myself steady around him as he dropped the cigarette and crushed it into the gravel. That freed up his hands to rubs my sides and travel up to my chest, groping roughly as he went. I whimpered against his tongue, arching my back into his touches which never stopped. He worked my shirt up above my chest which I tried to shove back down instantly.

"Johnny! I told you someone's gonna see us!"

"Bruh, we've had sex in bumper cars before. What does this matter?"

"We were completely in the dark and not surrounded by people! Besides...it's just like a thing here. If you're straight presenting it usually doesn't go well."

"I don't know what that means but you're fucking gorgeous and I'm a little drunk and I really want to fuck you, babe." He groaned and dove to lay bites beneath my jaw.

He knew that was one of my weak spots and continued to tease it. His large hand cupped my bare breast, rubbing his thumb over my nipple. I pressed my lips together, trying not to moan at the attention but it was proving to be a bit difficult. With our heats flush against each other he started grinding into me, slowly at first but building speed little by little. I clenched my thighs around him and fell into his touches against my will. I was always weak against him and his convincing wasn't making anything easier for me. His kisses trailed down my neck to take my nipple in his mouth this time, sucking hungrily and viciously. I clutched onto the back of his head, digging my nails in deep.

"I want this skirt off." He breathed against the wetness he left behind.

"I'm not gonna get naked here! Johnny I swear to God."

"Fuck it, let's go to the car. I need you too damn bad."

#messy #nct time stamp #time stamp #johnny fanfiction #johnny imagine #johnny suh #johnny seo #johnny drabbles #johnny drabble #nct drabble #nct 127 fanfiction #johnny nct #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 #nct imagines

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drabbles-and-shit · 7 years ago

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The Mailman is Really Attractive and Dean is Smitten

When Dean first saw the new mailman that Saturday afternoon, his body had such an immediate and visceral reaction, he had to excuse himself to his bedroom for a little quality time with his right hand.

Seriously, it was insane; nothing like that had ever happened to Dean. He only figured out that he was attracted to both guys and guys about a year ago, but he’d never even had that sort of response to a girl. And what’s worse? It was one of the best experiences he’s ever had jacking off.

Like, no shit, that mailman was the hottest human Dean ever laid eyes on, and he wasn’t even Dean’s type! Dean had always gone for the petite guys, because you know, he was a dom. Well, with guys he was. He had actually started experimenting letting girls top him, and much to his own embarrassment, he actually really liked it. There was something about someone else being in control that was hot as fuck. But, just girls. He wanted nothing in his asshole, ever, thank you very much. But anyway, even though he only ever had pursued twink-types, the mailman was buff as fuck. He had looked like he was about Dean’s height, and the summer heat-induced sweat made for a uniform that clung to his body just so Dean could see rippling muscle underneath. And the shorts, no matter how silly looking for being as short as they were, let Dean see the legs of either a runner who swims in his spare time or just the legs of an actual Adonis. And his forearms! God, so strong and tanned and--Dean noticed he was developing another situation down south and forced himself to concentrate on gross things like old people making out or his brother Sam’s face. Good, good; the situation went back down.

~***~

An uneventful week later, and Dean was back looking out his front window, shamelessly watching and waiting for the new mailman. He had no idea if he was actually going to come around again; hell, he might have just been filling in that one day for the old guy that Dean normally saw bringing the mail.

But Dean’s curiosity was rewarded, because after about ten minutes of casual spying, he noticed the mailman walking up the sidewalk with his messenger bag over one shoulder, radiating sexual appeal. God, he was just as hot as last week.

Oh my god, wait, he walked by the mailbox and towards the door. He was coming to the door. He probably had a package or something. But not the porno kind. Shit, what if he saw Dean last week? Dean jumped behind his couch as fast as humanly possible and tried to not breathe, because nobody was home. No one. Was. Home.

The doorbell rang, and Dean sucked his breath in and froze. Shit, the TV was on. He had completely forgotten it, and now the sexy mailman was going to know he was hiding like a kid afraid of Jehovah’s Witnesses, and he was going to judge him ughhhh. Suffice to say, Dean was fucking embarrassed.

He waited a solid five minutes before sneaking back to the window and checking the mailman was gone before opening his front door and grabbing the package off the step. His embarrassment was forgotten quickly, because it was his Star Trek phaser from ThinkGeek! Charlie was going to be sooooo jealous, and he couldn’t fucking wait to gloat. He snapped a picture of it and shot it off to her.

Dean: Looks like I win the gayness contest, because I can set phasers to STUN #2fab4u

Charlie: Oh my god, it came!!

Charlie: You had better bring that to work Monday so I can play with it

Dean: Only if you promise to not break it

Charlie: Btw did you see the hottie today??

Dean: Duh where did you think the package came from?

Charlie: DID YOU TALK TO HIM?!?!

Dean: You kidding? No way, Jose

Charlie: Ugh you’re no fun

Charlie: Wait. I have an idea! You should write him a letter and put it in your mailbox so he can read it when he brings your mail!!

Dean: Do you even know me? Charmando, I wouldn’t do something like that if my life depended on it

Charlie: You’re such a scaredy cat, Winchester

Dean: And proud

~***~

Drunk Dean sometimes did things that Sober Dean had to pay for, especially when his best friend/arch nemesis Charlie was involved. They always went for drinks together after work on Fridays, and somehow Dean always ended up being the only one of the two of them that did stupid, drunk person stuff. He was beginning to suspect that maybe she didn’t actually even drink, just pretended to so that she could talk his more malleable alter ego into doing what she wanted him to. Like, just a random example, writing a note to the sexy mailman.

He was going to kill her. Saturday morning met him with a skull splitting headache, and more importantly, oodles of regret. Because yes, he could vaguely remember sitting down with a pen and a piece of paper last night and writing… something. God, he couldn’t remember what the hell he had written. Maybe he had enough time to run out to the mailbox and take it out before it was too late!

Dean pulled on his sweatpants and charged out into the painfully bright midday sun. Despite his body’s many protests, he made it to the mailbox in record time, but it was for nothing, because when he opened it up, the note was gone and had been replaced by what looked like a bill and some coupons for pizza. He couldn’t really be sure, because his eyes felt like he was stabbing them full of needles. He defeatedly walked back into his house and pulled out his phone.

Dean: Dude. What happened last night. Tell me or I’m going to send your girlfriend your prom photos

He waited for a response while chewed discontentedly on a piece of cold bacon from the fridge and sipping a glass of water. He didn’t have to wait for long though, and he soon heard the telltale R2-D2 beep that was Charlie’s text alert noise.

Charlie: You were so plastered, my man. It was wild.

Charlie: I take it you only just woke up and didn’t have time to get the letter out of the box?

Dean: Shit, so that really happened? Dear god, tell me I didn’t write anything too embarrassing?

Charlie: You politely told him you wanted to suck his dick

Dean: I’ve got the picture ready to send!

Charlie: Ugh, fine. No, all you said was that you thought he looked nice and were wondering what happened to the old guy who used to bring your mail. Tbh it was pretty cute. I love drunk you

Dean sighed in relief. It was still as embarrassing as balls, but maybe the guy will think Dean has a kid or something and they wrote it. He can only hope at this point.

~***~

When Dean got home from work Monday evening and opened up the mailbox, his hopes that the mailman would just ignore the letter were proven useless.

Sitting there in the box, on top of a classic car magazine he subscribed to, was a small blue envelope with no stamp and just his first name in rather lovely script in the middle. He ripped it open before he even got inside, because holy fuck, there’s no one who would drive by his house just to put a letter in my mail other than Mr. Sexypants. It read:

Dear Dean,

I’m guessing by your handwriting and subject matter that you’re either a child or a drunk man. If it’s the former, please tell your parents that I am not a pedophile. Please. If you’re an adult and just have terrible handwriting, I’m sorry for touching on a sore subject.

Anyway, Cain, your previous mail carrier, was only working your route temporarily. He actually is one of the higher-ups for the USPS and was delivering mail as a sort of extended vacation from management. Odd, I know.

I appreciate that you think I look nice, and if you’re the adult male who lives at this address, I think you do too. If you’re a child, I’m sure you look nice, but in a non-pedophilic way.

Yours,

Castiel

Oh my god, Dean was in love. Haha, just kidding. He’s not in love; what are you talking about? Totally not in love. Nope, not at all. He lunged inside, pulled off his jacket and tie, and began furiously debating whether or not to tell Charlie about this. On the one hand, she’s his only real friend besides his younger brother, who is constantly busy with lawyer-things. But on the other hand, she would totally gloat about this for the rest of her life. But fuck it, he needs to talk to someone about this, because he never has romance in his life!

Dean: Omg you’ll never believe what happened\\

Charlie: Ooh! What??!

Dean: Mr. Double Stuffed Hotness is named Castiel, and I might want to marry him

Charlie: HE WROTE BACK?!?! It’s fate, my young grasshopper

Dean: I’m gonna send you a pic of the letter he wrote back so you can help me figure out what to write back

Charlie: You had better let me be your best man!! AND let me officiate!!! I’m already planning my speech

Dean: Don’t get ahead of yourself… but I’m actually kind of psyched rn

And so the planning began. Eventually, they decided on a note that read the following:

Dear Castiel,

As you deduced, I was drunk. Don’t worry, I’ll tell my parents you aren’t a pedophile anyway, just in case. Of course, they’re both in their 60s and will probably also assume I’m drunk, but better safe than sorry.

Thank you for saying I look nice, though I can’t imagine when you’ve seen me. I’m normally at work when you bring the mail (around 1:30pm, right?), so have you seen me on a Saturday? Okay, you don’t need to answer, just in case you’re actually a stalker or something. It’s never good to confront the bad guy in horror movies, and I’ve learned my lesson.

Hey, is your name really Castiel, or is that a pseudonym? I googled it, and it’s the name of the Angel of Thursday? What’s so special about Thursdays?

Live long and prosper,

Dean

~***~

Dear Dean,

I’m very glad I won’t be going to jail for calling a child attractive. You can probably hear my sigh of relief from there.

I can neither confirm nor deny when/where I have seen you. Also, are you calling me the antagonist of a horror film? If so, please enlighten me on which one, because I’m rather a fan of being scared shitless, and I’m sure seeing myself as the murderer will make an horror viewing experience even more terrifying.

And yes, my name is really Castiel. Let’s just say my parents were hippies. Many people call me Cas, though, and my siblings call me Cassie. I don’t like my siblings very much.

What about you? Why are you named Dean? Did your parents hope you would create a list of exceptional people? Or perhaps they wanted you to grown up to resemble Dean Martin?

I’m sorry, I don’t know where all that rude sass came from; it’s been a long day.

Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan,

Cas

~***~

Mr. Spock,

I had a girlfriend named Cassie once! Sort that information away for a future test, I suppose. How many siblings do you have? I one brother, and he can be such a bitch sometimes, so I definitely get where you’re coming from.

As it happens, I’m named after my grandmother, Deanna. And I swear to god, if you make fun of me for that, I will, um, do something… I don’t know exactly what yet, but I’ll figure it out, and it’ll be awful, I promise!

So, is it really that hard being a mailman? (You said it had been a rough day.) I’m a mechanic, by the way. If you ever need to know anything about cars, just hit me up, and I’ll be happy to help. For a price… Ha, just kidding. Maybe…

Dammit Cas, I’m a mechanic, not a doctor!

Dean

~***~

Bones,

I find it slightly perturbing that my nickname is also the name of your ex. But I always ace tests, so I guess I’m glad to know it anyway.

I have 5 siblings. I know. Hippies don’t believe in birth control, I guess. But yes, family of 8, from Michael the oldest, down to Sam the youngest. Since I’m on the subject, I suppose I might as well list off all my siblings. There’s Mike, Gabe, Luce, me, Anna, and Sam, ranging in ages from 37 to 21. Oh, I’m the ripe old age of 29, by the way. Not that that matters. Jesus, this entire letter is me talking about my family, sorry.

And no, it’s not hard being a mailman, but it is hard having to take your beloved cat to the veterinarian because they’re refusing to eat, not having bowel movements, and rolling around on the floor, meowing in pain. The poor guy had a blockage and almost died. It was a tough day.

I might just take you up on your offer to help explain things about cars, because I am completely clueless about them. I drive an old clunker that eats gas money like nobody’s business, and I really need to get a new car as soon as possible.

Have you been at the Romulan ale again??

Cas

~***~

Castiel,

I know I signed my last note with a Bones reference, but make no mistake, I am 100% Kirk, and I would appreciate it if you referred to me as such. Thank you for not forcing me to pursue legal action.

Dude, my younger brother is named Sam! Well, technically he’s named Samuel, after our grandfather, but still. Weird. And I’m 32, so that’s cool I guess.

I’m sorry to hear about your cat; that sounds pretty awful. I’ve never really had pets, and I’m actually allergic to cats, but I remember when Sammy’s dog was hit by a car and how distraught he was. I’m guessing your cat is all right now, though? If so, I’m glad. If not, sorry for rubbing salt in the wound.

Dude, do not drive that car. Like, stop it now. Please, for the sake of car lovers everywhere. Take it down to Singer’s Auto Salvage Yard; Bobby is a friend of mine, and if you tell him I sent you, he’ll give you a good price for it, and then you can use that money to buy something that’s not a piece of shit.

*funny Star Trek reference here*

Captain James Tiberius Kirk

~***~

Jim,

Can you sense me rolling my eyes? Because there’s some serious ocular oscillation going on right now in reference to your threats.

And I shortened my Sam’s name, too. His full name is Samandriel. Hippies, am I right?

Yes, my cat is fine, thank Talos. He is my best friend, and I don’t think I would be able to function properly if something happened to him. He’s a black shorthair named Toothless, by the way. Yes, I’m a basic bitch. Bite me.

I’ll try and take your advice about the car. I think my car is actually the automobile form of Sauron’s ring of power, because every time I’ve tried to get rid of it, it talks me into keeping it. I know in my heart that it needs to be torn apart for scraps, that it is taking advantage of me and should be destroyed before it does something terrible, but it’s mine. My own. My...precious…

Oh, my biggest problem is that if I sell her, I don’t know anything about buying cars, so I’m afraid someone will take advantage of my naivete and sell me an equally shitty car for a ridiculous price. Any suggestions?

*I can do this too*

Spock Spock Spock-ity Spock

~***~

Spockity,

God, I wish my parents had been hippies. Instead they were hippos. Yep, I was adopted by a pair of hippopotami at the age of four. Don’t believe me? Ask the Topeka Zoo, and they’ll corroborate my story. (Please don’t actually do that; they might remember me from when I was a teenager and broke in there to try and pet the giraffes.)

And I will never judge anyone for loving How To Train Your Dragon, because that movie was legendary. Toothless is the cutest dragon probably ever, and Hiccup is such a dreamboat.

Um, we definitely need to get rid of that car. Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks! I’m trying to help you. And speaking of helping you, if you find a car and want to know just how swindled you’re going to be, just send me the information, and I can let you know if you should buy it or not!

So… what kind of music do you like? I’m a big classic rock fan, and if you aren’t I will become determined to change that about you.

Can we up switch references? Maybe Princess Bride or something?

Princess Buttercup

~***~

Buttercup,

I find your story inconceivable. But did you truly grow up in Kansas? Personally, I grew up in the wilds of Washington; Seattle, actually.

And good; I would be very upset with you if you didn’t love Toothless and Hiccup, though I must say Hiccup is not exactly my type. I like my men a little older than he (recall that I’m not a pedophile), and I think any man I may date should definitely be my size or larger, or else I might kill them accidentally in bed. Huh, I guess we haven’t really talked about sexuality ever, so sorry if that made you uncomfortable.

I would greatly appreciate it if you would actually send me your phone number or email or something, so I could send you the information on a car I’m seriously considering buying. If you’d rather not hand out such personal information, I completely understand though.

I confess I haven’t listened to much classic rock. I mostly listen to classical music, though I’ve been delving into the genre of lofi hiphop, and I actually really enjoy it.

As you wish,

Vizzini

~***~

Vizzini,

You keep using that word; I do not think it means what you think it means…

Yes, I grew up in Kansas, a little town called Lawrence to be precise. And the bit about breaking into the zoo was real too, so please don’t report me.

And honestly, I’m kind of in a weird experimental stage with my sexuality right now. I know, that’s supposed to happen during college, but maybe I’m just not a normal guy, all right? Anyway, I think I’ve officially decided I’m bisexual, but who knows? Romance is tiring, but sex is fun, and I don’t really mind who the hole belongs to. Jesus, that sounded awful and disgusting; sorry. I’m not even really like that any more. I haven’t had a hookup for like three months, which has got to be some kind of record. Sorry, this I should stop writing while I have the chance.

Totally send me the deets about the car, man. My number is 1-866-907-3235

Dude, I’m going to indoctrinate you. You fucking need to listen to classic rock; it’s the stuff of gods. Maybe I’ll make you a mixtape or something so you can listen to all the best songs. Weird question: do you have a tape player? I’m kind of old fashioned, so yeah, I’m going to make you a cassette tape with my favorite Zepp tracks on it.

Mahwage, dah bwessed awangment,

The Dread Pirate Roberts

~***~

For some reason, it was taking Cas a long time to get back to Dean. They had kind of worked out an unspoken schedule by this point; one of them put a letter in the box Monday, the other responded by Wednesday, and then the first sent back a response the Friday of the same week. Basically three letter a week for the past month or so. No, that’s not weird or creepy for two adult men to do at all.

Dean had dropped off that last letter on a Monday, but no reply came on Wednesday. He tried to not let it bother him, thinking Cas was probably busy or something. But then there wasn’t a reply Thursday or Friday either, and he started to get a little miffed. The least Cas could have done was to text him now that he had his number, but noooo. Unfortunately, Dean had to be out of town that Saturday, so no confrontation could happen over the 1:30 mail delivery.

The next Saturday rolled around with no word from Cas again, and Dean was starting to get legitimately worried. He would have understood if the guy took some time off maybe for being sick or something, but two weeks? Nobody takes two weeks off, especially without telling their… friend? Suddenly, Dean’s ridiculous number of insecurities started blaring at him. What if he and Cas weren’t friends? What if he didn’t actually mean anything to Cas at all? He probably was just another drain on Cas’ time, and Cas had finally decided he’d had enough and didn’t want to talk to Dean anymore. Hell, he might have requested a different route because Dean was harassing him. Shit, of course all this was too good to be true. Dean never made friends; Charlie was the only acception to that painful trend, and he had no idea why she still hung out with him.

Dean knew those thoughts too well; he knew his own self-loathing always came around and wouldn’t leave until he started thinking about other things. So, he thought about Cas. It was almost 1:30, two weeks since he’d heard from him last, and he decided to camp out at the mailbox and wait for whoever came. He had to know if Cas was all right, at least. The guy was his friend, even if maybe Cas didn’t see him as one.

He didn’t have long to wait before seeing his old mailman (Cain, was it?) peddling a sleek bicycle down the sidewalk with a messenger bag slung over his shoulder.

“Um, hey, sorry to bother you. Cain, is it?” Dean fidgeted, feeling awkward as fuck.

“Yes, that’s me. Can I help you with something?” Huh, okay, Cain seemed like a pretty chill guy. Maybe Dean could actually avoid a panic attack from doing something this wild.

“Uh, yeah. Do you know Castiel? He brought mail on this route for a while? I just haven’t seen him in a while, and I was worried that something happened.” Dean was talking too fast, but he couldn’t help it, okay?

“I know Castiel, and I know he took off a few weeks. Don’t know why though; maybe a vacation or something. I wouldn’t worry about it though, if I were you.”

Oh Dean was gonna worry about it, no doubt about that. Because wow, he was glad Cas was all right and not dead somewhere, but Jesus, what kind of douchebag friend goes on an extended vacation without so much as a goodbye?? So yeah, Dean was going to worry about what he did wrong and why he never could keep friends, and why he was such a fucked up excuse for a human being. Awesome.

~***~

Dean was depressed. Charlie tried cheering him up but to no avail. He was just depressed. He actually took the day off on Monday, because he was such a fucking sissy who couldn’t deal with anything. God, no wonder Cas didn’t care about him. No one should care about him; he was so pathetic.

The doorbell rang. Dean lifted his head from the pillow it had been buried in for the entire first half of the day and decided he probably ought to answer the door, seeing as there was a 98% chance it was Charlie with pie and beer and a chick flick to make him feel better. God, she was too good for him; he didn’t deserve such a good friend.

He pulled the door open and was greeted by the invisible man; wait no, there was a package and a pile of mail on the front step. He sighed and picked it all up, then promptly dropped it all on the floor, shut the door, and collapsed on the couch. He didn’t feel like looking at the mail. He didn’t feel like doing anything except for sleeping. Ugh.

But maybe that package would cheer him up. He rolled his eyes at the tiny optimistic voice in his head and then rolled right off the couch and crawled to the pile of mail. He grabbed package without so much as glancing over the letters, probably all bills, and violently tore it open. Ooh, it was those custom leather-bound journals he ordered off Etsy. One was embroidered with his Hogwarts House logo (Hufflepuff and proud!) and the other matched it but had Charlie’s House (Ravenclaw, more like Raven...dumb! Good one). One of the few things he was ashamed of about being a sissy was doing things like buying matching things for himself and his best friend, or having sleepovers with his best friend, or planning his future wedding with his best friend. ANYway.

Okay, cool, the opening the package plan had worked! Dean was feeling better already. But then he saw it. Underneath the topmost bill was a little blue envelope. Dean’s hand had never moved so fast (yes, never).

Sure enough, it was from Cas. But unlike all the other letters Dean had gotten from him, this one was stamped and had both mailing and return addresses on it. Without stopping to think about what the fuck that could possibly mean, Dean ripped open the letter and read:

Dear Dean,

I am so sorry I haven’t written you in so long. To put it succinctly, my father had a heart attack, and I had to go to to Washington to be with him. The past two weeks have been about family and rekindling our relationships with each other. My father passed away two nights ago, and the funeral was yesterday. I know we never really talk about serious things, but I hope you won’t mind if I tell you this.

Honestly, as heartbroken as I am to see my father pass, I’m grateful that it has brought my family back together. All of us were there with him at the end, all of us were gathered around his bedside as he breathed his last. And he went peacefully, so I’m also grateful for that. I’ll be staying up here for another few days before flying back, and then I’ll be back to work as normal. I put my address that I’m staying at while I’m in Seattle as the return address, but I’ll add my home address too at the bottom of the page; it only feels fair that since I know where you live, you should know where I do too.

Again, I’m sorry if I made you worry at all. I know you might not see me the same way, but you’ve actually become one of my closest friends over the past month. What that says about my personal life? That I’m very awkward and antisocial, that’s what it says.

I hope to talk to you soon,

Castiel

Thank the fucking lord. Dean let go of a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and grabbed his phone.

Dean: Cas is okay!! His dad died but he’ll be back soon

Charlie: Wait, his dad died, but he’ll be back soon? Who is he, god? I mean, Jesus. Whatever, I’m not required to make good religious jokes

Dean: Haha, very funny

Charlie: But yay!! I’m so glad for you!! Maybe now you’ll stop sulking like a little lost puppy

Dean: I make no promises

~***~

As promised, Cas was back by the end of the week, and Dean couldn’t stop grinning when he looked out his window Saturday to see Cas walking up to his mailbox.

He pulled the door open and ran out, unprecedented behavior from the man afraid to make eye contact with girl scouts selling cookies outside the front of the grocery store.

“Cas! It’s good to see you, man!” He went in for a hug, but then it got a little too real, so it ended up being one of those awkward side-hugs that no one really likes but everyone has to deal with.

Cas smiled back widely, and Dean got a little lost in his eyes. Wow, he’d never actually seen Cas up close, and now that he did, he could tell that Cas was actually the most attractive man alive. His ocean blue eyes drew Dean in, and he found himself completely phasing out to the point that Cas had to repeat a question three times before he could respond.

“Sorry, um, what was that?” Was the response. Classic.

“I asked if you were all right; you look a little phased.” No shit, Sherlock.

“Uh yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

“I was a little worried I’d scared you off with my last letter, seeing as how you didn’t write back.” Shit, Dean had forgotten to.

“Fuck, I totally forgot that I had your address. I guess I’m not used to actually properly sending letters, not just putting them in the mailbox.” They shared a quiet laugh before Dean went on, somberly. “I’m really sorry about your dad. My mom passed a few years back, and I know how painful it is.”

Cas smiles sadly. “Yeah, it was rough, but like I said in the letter, it really brought my family together, and I’m sure dad would have been happy to see the impact he had on us.” He paused, and Dean could there was something more rolling around in his mind, so he decided to stay silent and let Cas finish his thought. “It’s funny, he was such an absent father when we were growing up. I know he was different when he and my mom were first married; I think he was a carpenter or something, and he was always at home with Mike and Luce when they were little. But then his business took off, and by the time I was in diapers, he was hardly ever around. Business trips, late nights working, early morning meetings, it never ended. It kind of tore our family apart, bit by bit. First, Gabe ran away when he was 16. He didn’t get in touch with any of us for almost a whole year. Later, he told me he just couldn’t stand to see all the arguing and pain in our family. Then it was Luce, angrily storming off to college and refusing to answer our calls or emails. He loved all of us, his siblings so much, and I think watching dad’s absence affect us younger kids really took a toll on him.”

Suddenly, Cas’ eyes flashed up, and his cheeks grew pink. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I’ve just been standing here, telling you my life’s story. And fuck, I’m on the clock; I really need to run.”

Before Cas could move, Dean grabbed his wrist. “Wait, can you give me your phone number? I put mine in my last letter to you, but I’m guessing you didn’t get that.”

They exchanged numbers as quickly as possible, and Cas ran off towards the next house on his route. Dean grinned as he watched his run away and immediately send him a trial-run text.

Dean: If you gave me a fake number, I’m going to go to your house and shave your cat

Off in the distance (only about 200 feet, to be perfectly honest), Cas stopped and looked down at his phone, and Dean could not hold back a huge laugh.

Castiel: Toothless would kill your sorry ass

~***~

Regina George,

Oh my god, you’re so fetch.

Sorry Cas, I don’t know why, but I really felt like I had to change our theme to Mean Girls. Sue me. (Also, you better have fucking watched Mean Girls, or there will be hell to pay.)

So, my friend Charlie talked me into this, but I guess I kind of agreed with her that I ought to do it. And you can totally say no thanks, not interested, and it’ll be completely fine! But, I was wondering if maybe you’d be interesting in going on a date with me sometime…?

Wow, I am a child. Well, a teenage girl, to be precise. Oh shit, and you keep telling me you’re not a pedophile, so you’re definitely not going to want to go out with me now that you know my true identity. Well this is a fine mess I’ve gotten myself into.

Have you sold that car yet? You should really get on that.

Yours forever,

Amy Poehler

~***~

Mother,

Of course I’ve seen Mean Girls, I’m not that out of the proverbial loop.

And would you please thank your friend Charlie for me? I’ll admit, I’ve wanted to go on a date with you for a quite a while now, but ye ole’ social ineptitude wouldn’t let me ask. Maybe text me when you get this, and we can work out a time/place? Saturday nights are usually best for me, considering I’m always off Sundays.

Please Dean, if you’re a teenage girl, then I am too, and then it’s not pedophilia.

And no, I haven’t sold it yet, because I haven’t decided on a new one to buy yet, because in case you hadn’t noticed, my life has been a little hectic lately. I’ll try and text you the details on the car I’m looking at soon, though.

Fours yorever,

Reginers

~***~

Saturday night is there before Dean can get his shit together. He had frantically texted Charlie minutes after making the date with Cas asking her what he should wear and how he should act and whether he should just run away and never come back. You know, normal stuff.

In the end, he and Cas had decided on meeting an a small burger place near Cas’ place, so Dean knew he shouldn’t wear something too fancy. But he didn’t want to wear just his every minute of every day bluejeans, t-shirt, and flannel combo. So, with some sagely advice from Charlie, he’s decided on his most flattering pair of grey jeans and a button down maroon shirt, freshly ironed. Honestly, not half bad, even by his self-degrading standards. He toyed with the idea of a grey tie with the top two buttons of his collar undone, and decided it was too snazzy for him to refuse.

A 15-minute drive later, he was walking into the restaurant and looking around for Cas. And boy, did he find him. Cas was wearing a tight pair of black jeans, an Egyptian blue button down, and a black waistcoat, and holy fuck, Dean was having another southward situation just at the sight. He repeated the words ‘puss, flesh, old-people skin,’ in his head for half a minute until everything was hunky dory again, then made his way to the bar where Cas was standing.

“You look great, Cas.” Dean grinned when he saw Cas blatantly checking his ass. The good old grey jeans never fail.

“As do you, Dean,” Cas responded, his pupils mildly larger than probably normal.

They made their way over to a small corner booth and waived down a waitress. Adorably enough, they both ordered the same bacon cheeseburger, and in the time it took for their food to arrive, they discussed possible future heart health and how they were both going to die eventually, so it might as well be from eating delicious food.

“Dude, if bacon’s what gets me, I win,” Dean remarked right before taking a huge bite into his burger.

Cas harrumphed in agreement, then moaned around the first bite of his own burger.

Uh oh. Turned out, visual Cas is nothing compared to audible Cas in terms of making Dean’s nether regions all kinds of interested. To put it simply, Dean was sitting at a booth, on a first date, a burger in his mouth, almost completely hard. Awesome.

“Dean, are you okay?” Shit, Cas apparently noticed the panicked look on Dean’s face, and Dean’s face burned red.

“Um, yeah, I’m fine. I, um, just kinda have a little… situation. Downstairs. God this is so embarrassing; I’m soooooo, so sorry. Please don’t hate me.”

Cas was quiet for a second, then burst out with infectious laughter, and Dean couldn’t help but join in. “Oh my god, that’s hilarious. Was it become of the groan I just made or…?”

Dean ran a hand through his hair before responding, “Um, yeah. Fuck. Look, I haven’t gotten

laid in close to three months, so cut me a little slack. And honestly, I’m really sorry. I wanted this

to be a really special first date, but I feel like I kind of ruined it.” Like Dean ruined everything.

“Oh, no no no! Really, I understand much better than you’d think,” Cas assuaged his fear and sorrow with a comforting pat on the back on the hand. “It’s honestly fine. Now, do you need to go to take a trip to the bathroom, or are you all right now?”

Dean informed Cas that apparently humiliation was not one of his kinks, and the situation had resolved itself, and they were able to go on with their dinner like it had never happened.

But you know, it did happen, and Dean hadn’t had sex in months, and Cas was the hottest date Dean had ever had. SO yeah. Things happen.

~***~

After an amazing evening of burgers, pie, beer, and literal hours of conversation, they decided it was definitely time for them to part ways. Cas had walked to the restaurant, so Dean offered to drop him off on his way home, and Cas gratefully accepted.

The car ride was normal, if slightly tense. They were both slightly buzzed and totally attracted to each other, after all. But it was chill.

Dean pulled up to Cas’ home, a cozy-looking apartment complex, and parked his car in one of the visitor spots. They both climbed out and walked together up to Cas’ door.

“So, I had an awesome time tonight,” Dean half-mumbled, really trying his best to appear like he wasn’t desperate to go out with Cas again as soon as possible. “You think you might want to do this again sometime? I mean, really, I totally get it if like I’m not your type or you’re just not into me or you think I’m too--”

Cas slammed their faces (particularly their lips) together, effectively cutting off Dean’s self-abusive train of thought and filling his mind with only the pure bliss of Cas’ warm mouth on his, their tongues fighting for dominance. Cas’ mouth tasted amazing, like apple pie and happiness. Dean hungrily chased the flavour, and he couldn’t get enough. They broke for air for just a minute before Cas wheeled Dean around and up against his apartment door, weaving one hand into his hair and grabbing Dean’s own hand with the other, pinning it up against the door above his head.

Dean had never felt less in control, and it was amazing. He could feel the strength in Cas’ body shoved up against his own. He felt vulnerable, but for once in his life, he was okay with that vulnerability.

Cas moved his mouth down from Dean’s mouth to his neck, peppering the skin with hot, wet kisses. He settled on one spot, the meaty place between Dean’s neck and right shoulder and assaulted it with licks, kisses, nibbles, and sucks. He was driving Dean crazy, and Dean honestly couldn’t stop himself from moaning out, “Uhhhh, Cas…”

Maybe it was something about how he broke the silence, but Cas suddenly stilled and looked up at Dean, alarm filling his eyes. “Oh my god, Dean, I’m sorry. I’ve never done this before; I don’t know what came over me.” He stepped back from Dean and rubbed his hands over his face.

“What? Why’d you stop?” Dean replied, feeling suddenly abandoned.

Cas locked eyes with Dean and said very seriously, “I have no idea what I’m doing, Dean. I’ve never had sex; hell, I’ve never been in a relationship that lasted longer than a week. And you’re this amazing, attractive man who has had so much sex and knows all about it, and I’m just going to embarrass myself and it’ll be terrible and--”

This time, Dean satisfies the cliche, cutting off Cas’ river of doubts with a kiss into which he poured all the words he wanted to say but didn’t know how: that Cas made him feel safe and comfortable and like he could be himself and still feel appreciated and cared for and special and important.

Cas seemed to get the message, and he quickly took control once again, holding Dean tight in his arms and kissing him with more passion than is in an entire episode of Casa Erotica.

Dean had been hard for a while now, and as Cas clung to him, he could feel that Cas was in about the same spot as he was. But shit, if Cas was a virgin, that would put a lot of weight on Dean’s shoulders, right? He wanted to make it perfect for Cas, because that’s what Cas deserved.

But apparently, Cas had a completely different idea. He pulled away from Dean, and with his pupils completely blown wide and dark, moved his mouth to Dean’s ear and whispered, “I’m going to make you feel so good.”

Huh, well, Dean realized at that moment he was completely, 100%, no doubt about it, a bottom. And apparently, Cas’ self-confidence boosted itself threefold when he was horny, so yeah. That was pretty sweet.

Cas fumbled with his apartment keys and opened the front door before pushing Dean inside and slamming the door behind them. He kiss-walked (that thing where people are joined at the mouth but still manage to move around, that’s honestly kind of impressive if you think about it) Dean to what Dean assumed could only be his bedroom and shoved him onto the bed before climbing on top of waist and resuming kissing him like a man dying of dehydration and Dean’s mouth was a fucking water fountain.

Without breaking their lip lock, Cas scrambled to get Dean’s tie off, and Dean did his best to help with the clothing removal process, but his efforts were mostly futile.

Finally, after a pathetically long and unromantic struggle, they were both naked, and Dean was basically drooling at the sight of Cas’ dick. Like, holy hell, it’s not like Dean himself was small, but Jesus, he was embarrassed of his own length in the presence of Cas’ massiveness.

Cas grinned with a hungry look in his eye as he took Dean in, and Dean felt suddenly self conscious as Cas scanned him so carefully.

Cas noticed the change in Dean’s demeanor and guessed the source quickly. “Dean, you are so beautiful,” his husky voice reassured before leaning in and capturing Dean’s lips once again, this time with a contrastingly gentle and loving kiss, and for once in his life, Dean let himself actually believe that about himself.

The kiss soon got more heated, and Cas’ hands began exploring Dean’s body, starting in his hair, traveling down his chest, over his hips, and down his thighs. Dean moaned and realized that, much to his embarrassment, he was actually close.

Fortunately, Cas seemed to sense he should advance things, and he trailed his hands back up to Dean’s throbbing cock. Dean let out a punched groan at the first touch to his hot member, squeezed his eyes shut tight, and clenched his fists behind Cas’ back. “So good, Cas…”

Cas’ hand left his cock for a minute, and Dean heard the telltale sounds of someone spitting before the hand returned, slick and tight. Just a couple tugs and Dean was coming with a shout. “Oh, Cas, oh fuck, Cas!”

He had never come so quickly in his entire life, but Dean couldn’t even find it in himself to be ashamed, especially as he heard Cas grunting as he followed directly behind him.

“Cas, that was…”

A sudden worried look fell over Cas’ face. “Was it bad? I’m sorry, I know we both came really fast.”

Dean laughed and tried his best kiss the pouting look off of Cas. “No, it was amazing, Cas. Jesus, that was the most vanilla shit I’ve ever done, but it was perfect.” Dean sighed and steeled himself before continuing. “And actually, I think the reason it was perfect was because, well, it was with you, Cas.”

~***~

“Honeybee, I’m home!” Dean stripped off his big winter coat and hung it on the hook by the front door.

“I’m in the kitchen, Dean!” Dean stalked through the house and up behind his husband, snaking his arms around the other man’s broad chest and leaning over his shoulder to give him a peck on the cheek.

“How was work today?” Dean asked, glancing around the kitchen and noticing with a grin what looked suspiciously like the mess left after someone has baked an apple pie.

“Work was lovely, thank you. Of course, that was mostly because of the letter I got from my favorite stop on my favorite route.” Cas grinned and spun around to give Dean a proper kiss.

“I’m your favorite?!” Dean grinned and pulled back before Cas could kiss him

Cas rolled his eyes, “No, I’m talking about our neighbor, Mrs. Tran.”

“I love you too, babe.” Dean finally let himself be pulled into his husband’s eager arms and smiled into the kiss. Fate was kind of awesome.

#destiel #fanfiction #destiel fandom #destiel fluff #supernatural #ao3 #one shot #supernatural fic #destiel fic #fanfic

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bolbianddolanhouse · 5 years ago

Text

BNHA self instert AU

Nani the heck is this? Read here!

Chapter 24: Let me in LET ME IN!

“Welcome back Miss Palma” Jinko opens the car door “and welcome to your squadron.”

“Thank you Jinko” I step out and see the agents “sup fellas! Missed me?”

“Of course! Wish we could catch up but we have a task at hand” 44 said escorting us in “Do you remember your old room? We have your requested gear in there, hope it will do.”

We suit up in my room and load up our weapons. We requested something to cover Mimi’s and Jin’s mouth and ears. My visor covers my face and sides of my head when lowered, while Mimi and Jin’s support gear just cover their eyes and forehead. Before we met up with the head agent, Mimi had something on their mind.

“Babushkas?” she said softly “what if this is the last of our adventures?”

“I won’t let that happen” sternly said Jin as he strapped on his holsters “You two are all I have, I love you and dammit if I break myself getting us to safety then so be it!” he puts his hands on our shoulders “no time to think about the sad shit, we have drama to cause.”

We group hugged and headed to the lead for instructions. We got connected to their earpiece system so they can communicate with us and hear what we hear. Based on what they told us, the place isn’t far from where I 1st appeared as Black Phantom. We switch on our distortion voice changer and teleported out to the area, from there we roof jumped a quarter mile to this alleyway with some stairs leading to a basement door.

“Okay as expected, hot villain is the guard” I whispered to Mimi and Jin “I’m jumping in, don’t come out until I give the signal and follow along with my story.” They nod in response and lay low as I floated down into the entrance of the alleyway “Well well well, aren’t you a sight to behold?” I coo’d to get the attention of Dabi “Hello my Raven haired beauty, it’s been too long!”

Dabi looks at me with fear in his eyes “Black Phantom! I knew you’d appear, RIGHT when we settled in here too” he gets annoyed but doesn’t get on guard “look, I’m not looking for a fight, our boss is in there with our entire team” I inch closer to him and he gets increasingly nervous “maybe you can work something out with him? Just please, don’t hurt me!”

“Oh? Why would I hurt someone so beautiful?” I put my hand on his face for the copy “So the boss man is inside there huh? If I were just to pop in and have a little chat, he’d be civil and welcome me?” He glups and nods in response “how about for me and my colleagues?” I snap with my free hand and Mimi and Jin portal in and strike a pose.

“Oh my! He is beautiful” Mimi played along and put her hand on his chest “tell me babe, is there an open bar down there? I have a need to quench my thirst” she slides her hand slowly downward as she says that.

Jin puts his finger on Dabi’s forehead “Answer the question you handsome man! I can end you with the flex of my pointer finger.”

“Okay Okay I’ll talk!” he panicked “yes, there is a bar. Just go down there and ask for Shigaraki, he’s our boss.”

“Aww don’t be scared” I signal for Jin and Mimi to take their hands off him “if you ever get sick of working with these clowns, consider becoming one of us” we start walking toward the steps “we’d love to have you.”

We make it to the door and it’s unlocked, I guess they were really harking on Dabi to be a good bouncer to do this shit. The smell of too many people in a small area and beer hit us before we saw everyone look at us. The room was a decent size, wasn’t well lit, bar area with a smokey-purple man as a bartender and a bunch of villain looking people.

“Oh don’t mind us” Mimi spoke up “we came to chill, yo barkeep, mint julep on light ice please.” We sat at the bar and I scanned the room for any familiar faces, I saw knife girl and she wasn’t happy to see us.

“Here you go” said the bartender, handing Mimi her drink “anything for you two?”

“Beer please” Jin requested.

“I’ll have an Old Fashion and the presence of Shigaraki” I gave off big dick energy “I just want to talk.”

“OoooooOOOhhhHH! Shiga-kun is gonna flip when I tell him!” Toga squealed before running up some stairs on the other side of the room.

“No offense, but who are you three?” approached a lizard man “and how did you find this place? Dabi should’ve cremated you on sight!”

I scoffed “Heh, Dontcha know that this is my city? I know everything that goes on here” I see my drink get set next to me “I am the Black Phantom and these are my colleagues, Black Sniper and Black Void.”

The room gasped and the harsh whispers of rumors started among the people in the room. I smirked so hard over the sudden change of mood in the room. I flashed a look at Mimi and Jin, they were ready to cause some shit. I didn’t have to wait long for the boss to show up, in walked in a lanky, greasy haired man with hands all over his body. I was underwhelmed by his appearance, this asshole managed to kidnap Bakugo?

“Oh wow” Jin spoke up “Hand-Job man huh?”

“Aww I was going to say that!” Mimi playfully pushed Jin.

“Stop you two” I said before taking a sip of my drink “it’s clearly Handy-Man.”

“You come into my lair, bypassed my security, drink my booze, instill fear in my henchmen and insult me?” said the man with is almost seductive raspy voice “Give me one good reason not to turn you to dust right where you stand!”

“You listen here you dry ass, crusty lipped, knick knocky knees looking bitch!” I put my drink down “This is my city! I’ve taken over the shadows and collect the skulls of those who intrude on my territory.”

“Boss, didn’t Dabi warn you about them?” spoke up a man with sunglasses and thick lips “Toga too? They’re dangerous!”

“QUIET! I don’t negotiate with wannabes” Shigaraki crossed his arms “You didn’t kill Dabi and Toga that night, so what’s your kill streak Phantom?”

“We have 10 skulls in our possession” Mimi spoke up “We didn’t kill the little girl or that sexy black haired man because we wanted to pass on the warning” she starts to get cocky “now you’ve done it, one snap from Phantom and it’s lights out for all of you.”

I raise my hand in snap position “Your move Hand Man.”

“Do it then” he points at a random guy in the room “make him disappear! I’ll negotiate if you succeed.”

“Okie Dokie!” I snap my fingers and I catch this guy’s clothes on fire and Jin deploys a portal under the guy so it looks like he got incinerated. “Bye Bye bad man hehehe” I do my best maniacal giggle and the room went from scared of me to terrified of me.

“Fuck” softly uttered Shigaraki. He turned to us with fear in eyes, like he knows he done messed up now. “Heh well um, lets talk then!” he nervously says “what does my fellow villain want to talk about?”

“We want to know why in our city” Jin butted in to take over “I swear if it’s because of that blue jean, yaoi hands hero or that pompous hero school 3 cities over” he slams down his beer “I SWEAR I’m gonna flip!”

“Don’t flip! please I don’t want to know what that means” Shigaraki put his hands up in panic “but I’m carrying the mission of my successor, All for One to take down One for All lineage, starting with that school.”

“What’s the use? Those kids ain’t worth shit” I took a sip of my drink “scoped them out myself, quirks suck ass and ain’t worth stealing, including that one aggressive twink you kidnapped.”

“That aggressive twink is part of my plan to take down that green haired heir of the One for All.”

“He’s not worth the trouble Hand Man” I rolled my neck to exaggerate my point “the boy is a secret fire breather and smells like milk for some reason.”

“Don’t forget he cries too much, treats All Might like his God, wears those stupid shoes and fashion sense is ABYSMAL!” chimed in Mimi “we captured him but he was just some whiny broccoli bitch and just hung him on the UA flagpole by his underwear.”

“Wait! you infiltrated UA?!” he asked trying to make sense of our casualness “AND captured the heir?!”

“It’s not that hard Hand Man” Jin played along “you just gotta put on the fake titties and the skirt uniform to do what you gotta do” he finished his beer and motioned to the bartender “ay, my good man” he takes a 10,000 yen bill from his jumpsuit pocket and puts it on the bar “here’s a lil something for you and our drinks.”

“Don’t tip my henchman!”

“Shigaraki Tomura! I quite enjoy these patrons” scolded the bartender “for some territorial villains, they have the common courtesy to pay for their drinks and tip well!”

“Oof, you got full named” I teased “not so tough are ya?”

“LOOK I told you why I’m settling here!” he gets bratty “anything else you wanted to talk about?”

“You got this lair insured or some shit?” Jin asked, cueing our escape plan.

“Ummm this is an abandoned building, so no because I just claimed it on my own.”

“Aww that’s too bad” I finished my drink “I’m giving you to the count of 5 before I burn this place to the ground.”

“If you refuse” Mimi pulls out her sliver glock “I’ll shoot you directly in the butthole.”

“If you somehow survive” Jin pounds his fist in his hand “I’ll end you with my final form.”

“1....2....” I start the countdown and mass hysteria breaks loose, people running around and flooding to the exits “3.....oh what the hell! 5!” I snap to set the wallpaper on fire and a few random things in the room to make it look like the place is going down. Mimi starts shooting and gets 3 people in the butthole, all the while Shigaraki was just standing there in shock, unable to move because of the terror we radiate. I point to him “Tomura Shigaraki, let this be a warning to you. If we see you tread in our city again, I’ll be eating cereal out of your skull!”

“Don’t think we aren’t watching Hand Man” taunted Jin “we lurk in the shadows.” He deploys a portal underneath us so it looks like we just vanished into the ground. Jin portaled us across the street from the agency and we sighed in relief. I teleported us in the building to get scanned for bugs or taps.

“I can’t believe it” said the lead agent “you three are the real deal! Bravo to you! You gained intel, drove them away AND got drinks?!” we took off our head gear to reveal our sweaty and flushed faces “I’m so proud! why don’t you three hit the showers and rest? I’ll do the paperwork and file the evidence.”

“Yes Sir!” we breathlessly saluted before making the walk to the showers. We washed up, drank water and shared the bed in ‘my room’. I was the first one to wake up, I check the time, it’s 10am. Jin was the next one to wake up, then Mimi to go follow the smell of coffee. After a debriefing with Best Jeanist and Jinko with the lead agent, we were free to go. We didn’t want to stick around, it was saturday, we had shit to do. On the ride back, I turned on my phone and I got the usual texts from my parents but none from Iida or the others. That’s weird, I thought, I would’ve guessed that Tenya blew up my phone. We arrived back to the dorms and just tried to go back to our normal routines. I did my homework and saw that it was just a quarter before 4, time to see if Tenya is in the dorms. Without warning I just teleport in his room, lucky for me, he was hunched over doing homework at his desk.

“Tenya!” I exclaimed with a big dumb smile on my face “did you miss me?”

He turned around and couldn’t believe his eyes “Ita?! You’re back!” he couldn’t control himself and hug tackled me right on the floor “my sweet, dear friend! I’ve been worried sick that something happened to you!”

“I can tell! hehehe” I get squeezed by his hug and just feel how much he worried “I just want to hold you like this” I stroke his hair “I want to feel something nice after all the nastiness I encountered.” I felt his face pressed up in the crook of my neck and those feelings for him came back. Why am I like this?

He rolled off me and sat up “Here, I’ll just place you on my lap” he lifts me up and lays me on his lap and arms like he was cradling a baby “there, much more comfortable!” he looks at how small I am in his arms and smiles “you know, I forget just how much smaller you are compared to me” I put my hand on his face and it reminded him of the rosary “that reminds me! Your necklace” he had it on his neck and took it off “here, I kept it safe.”

“You did! Thank you Tenya” he put it on me and I tucked it away under my shirt collar “I really thought I wasn’t coming back and that was going to be the last thing you were going to remember me by.”

“Well there was also that kiss” he got flushed “I’ve never been kissed before, it stirred up my heart.”

I got a bit sneaky “Ya know, you owe me a kiss.”

He perked up “That’s right! From the dance” he saw that I was getting a little squirmy “if you’re ready, here I go.” I close my eyes and anticipate the kiss, this time he wasn’t nervous or sweating. But he didn’t aim so he kissed my nose “Oh my that’s not where I meant to kiss, I’ll-”

I giggled “I’ll take it! It’s okay” he would miss “tell me, how was everything after I left?”

“Nothing happened worth noting, I came back to the dorms after you left and I just couldn’t stop worrying about you” he held my hand “it made me think about how I should just say how I feel because I won’t know when will be the next time I see them.”

“You were overthinking huh?”

“Yeah, because I have a lot of things planned for us. I want to go on another adventure with you, I want to take you to my family estate to meet my family, I want to be your date for the next dance” he paused a bit “just...so many things that I want to do with you, because I don’t see myself doing that with anyone else.”

At this point, I’m confused by his actions. He calls me his friend but says shit like that? So am I in the ‘I like you’ zone or what? Either way, I’m not admitting shit unless he says something first.

“Oh si? Well lets start with the thing you promised me”

“Right! I have planned that I we just stay in and I cook for you, finish watching Shrek and maybe dance a little” he sets me on the floor again so he could stand up “we didn’t really do those things properly and I wanted to make things right.”

I levitated up but he wanted to carry me out of his room, I didn’t fight back this time. To my surprise, nobody was in the commons room or dining area, it was nice to have that peace. He made me some pasta dish with chicken but as I thanked him and went in for the first bite, he stopped me.

“Um you’re blocking my fork.”

“Please, let me feed you” he picks up a piece of chicken “I know you have full control of your hands and arms, but I enjoyed feeding you last time. The faces you made with every bite was so adorable” he brought the bite up to my face “I missed all those sweet little quirky things you did.”

I narrowed my eyes as I ate the piece “My quirkiness? Like what?”

He picked up another bite of food for me “Like your morning music in the bathrooms, the way you stop and dance when you hear someone play a certain song, your wheeze when you hear a stupid funny joke” I ate his forkful “when you baby talk with animals, and my personal favorite, when you sing while you do chores.”

“You like my singing?” another forkful of food was offered “why? it’s just songs I grew up hearing.”

“Well, I grew up privileged, the only live singing I heard was during parties or special occasions” he saw that I ate the forkful and picked up another bite “but your upbringing feels like it was full of music and it was never quiet! So when you sing, I can’t help but stop and listen to you express yourself to fill the empty room with your sound.”

“You never got music lessons or anything?” I took the next bite of food.

“My parents focused everything on hero studies to sustain my strong lineage of heroes” he brought the next forkful up to my face “so I never learned to play an instrument, sing nor anything in the fine arts. I always wanted to though! Maybe I wouldn’t be so boring and have more personality.”

“Yeah, maybe” I giggled as I took the next bite “my parent’s didn’t always have enough money to give to me or my siblings but they gave us the gift of music. I took all the free lessons at school and practiced my pieces until I had them memorized.” I swallowed “and by the time I was 12, my school district recognized me as a rising music prodigy. The title meant nothing to me, I was just happy to play and learn new things.”

I told him about my concert disasters and the rivals I made from the other richer schools. All the while he was listening attentively and feeding me. We finished watching Shrek and he still didn’t understand the memes. We walked over to the tree to dance out of sight, he had a playlist saved and played it on his phone as we danced. It was mostly slow dancing music.

“I think I finally realized the thing that’s been bothering me” he looked into my eyes “on who you remind me of.”

“Oh? Who do I remind you of?” I honest to Ru Paul don’t know where this is going and I tried not to sound scared.

“You remind me of my Older brother, Tensei” his face and tone was very sincere “both of you tell me to not worry when you go off on your missions, comfort me when you come back and I just admire both of you for your strength and kindness.”

My heart shattered, I’ve been sibling respect zoned, but I just give a neutral face “I forget you have an older brother sometimes and that your relationship with him is pretty normal than what I have with my older sister.”

“Well, yes it’s different” he clears his throat “I should introduce you to him during summer or winter break, despite his decommission to do hero work, he still runs the agency just as much.”

I get a little pouty, oof I really am in the sibling zone! But if I meet his brother and can get over the age difference, I may be in a different zone with him. I do my little plot to get with his brother as we dance. But to him, it looks like I’m smiling because I’m having fun with him. He gives me a piggy back ride back to my dorms, we said goodnight and parted for the night.

“More confusing affection?” asked Jin as I passed the living room.

“No, I got sibling respect zoned” I pouted “said that I remind him of his older brother and shit. But if he’s a fool if he doesn’t think I won’t try to fuck his brother if/when he introduces us.”

“His brother is pretty hot not gonna lie” spoke up Yuka from the floor “get it girl! You got heirs to a lineage and estate in your hands if you do.”

“That’s the plan” I finger gun and everyone finger gunned me back “hehehe alright, I’ma go soak my schemin ass in the bath.”

-Monday, In Homeroom-

“Special announcement time kids!” firmly bellowed Diya “as you know, the sports festival is coming up and we don’t do that shit. And there’s a week off of school 2 weeks later, I’m very happy to announce our survival camp trip!” The class hollered in excitement “settle down! Now, it’s a huge deal among our program because theres a scoring bracket, for the guts and glory” Jin raises his hand “Yes Matsui?”

“Will 1st year and 3rd year be joining us?”

“No, 1st year is under qualified and 3rd year turned down the invite for practice tests” Diya responded “So its just us and B class. I’ll be passing out the list of gear you’ll need to pack for the trip after the sports festival weekend. Get ready for the most intense week of your life kids! You’ll wish you were never born.”

“Jokes on you, I already feel like that anyways” Hansai said with a tone of seriousness.

“Oof same” we all chimed in.

“Me too, Hansai, me too” Diya admitted with the rest of us “Now, on to other news! In vehicles and mechs, we’ll be learning to drive non-conventional escape vehicles! Hope you brought your helmets and kneepads! It’s gonna get weird.”

Mimi turns to Jin and I “I can’t wait until we go camping! I hope we see a bear.”

“I just want to see what the objective will be” I ponder “a rescue? a weapon capture? maybe a.... villain lair takedown?”

“Psh! we have experience with that!” Jin said as he mocked my fingers in snap position move “...you have to the count of 5 before I burn this place to the ground!”

Mimi mocks my pose that I did to Shigaraki “...if we catch you in our city again, I’ll be eating cereal out of your skull!”

I rolled my eyes and laughed “Guys stop! I was instilling fear in that Hand Man.”

“I know! But imagine being up in that bitch with our normal voices?!” Jin painted the picture for us “that hot villain would’ve instantly roasted us to ash. And if we managed to defeat him, oof nobody in that lair would’ve taken us seriously!”

“I really wanted that handsome man to intrude me” Mimi bit her lip “if you know what I mean fellas.”

“Mimi please! It’s only 1 hour into class” I scolded “save the sexual tension comments for lunch or some shit.”

“Don’t act like you wouldn’t show him a thing or two in the bedroom” sneered Mimi at me.

“Don’t at me like that” I got flushed “but yea, he’s so sexy and just perf. Too bad he works for that crusty ass of a man.”

“I lowkey want him to leave hand man” Jin sighed in disbelief “I get that he’s a villain and I shouldn’t be showing sympathy but the man is too handsome and powerful to be part of that group. Not to mention, he’s the only one we can’t find info on, where did he come from?”

“That’s what the lead at the agency told me too!” I perked up, remembering “there’s a handful of that blue flame quirk and they’re all in the same family, the Todoroki family. We think it’s the missing son, Touya, BUT it’s inconclusive.”

“Y’all really doing real agent work and shit at that agency” Mimi pouted “all I did was toss beached marine life back into the ocean and watch the lead get in a fist fight with a walrus.”

“That sounds like fun! All I did was freeze half to death and defrosted a gun” Jin added in protest to Mimi’s complaint “I didn’t learn shit! Hokkaido sucks in the winter.”

“Man I should’ve gone to Hokkaido” Mimi sighed tiredly “I love snow and cold weather, reminds me of home and my dad.”

Fast forward to the last half of vehicle and mechs class same day, shit starts to get crazy.

“Ya know, I’m having fun now but I’m gonna Mcfuckin suffer out in the field if this is my only option for escape” I say as I’m propelling myself on roller skates “my quirk isn’t built for speed and my little legs can’t do shit with these wheels.”

“Wanna trade then?” said Mimi stuffed in a go cart that’s barely droning on “I’m too tall for this shit.”

“Naw, that shit ain’t got brakes”

We hear Jin scream in the distance as the rev of a 4-wheeler rips hard and accelerates. “That’s bullshit, Jin always gets the good gear and can’t handle it at the end” Mimi turns to me “You gonna go turbo and save him?”

“Nobody else is gonna do it” I groan “Where the fuck is Diya when you need him?!” I start to pick up speed to go rescue Jin from crashing the big, scary vroom vroom...for the 10th time this school year.

“You guys hear that?” said Mineta “it sounds like a runaway motor.”

“Shut up balls for brains!” yelled Bakugo “we have to finish this fucking group exercise before class ends or we’ll get late punishment!”

“No shhh! listen!” Sero hushes everyone to let them hear the noise “why does it sound like it’s getting closer?”

In comes Jin on a 4 wheeler through the open gym doors and out the other side, then I follow panting and on roller skates. “Aw fuck! Any yall get hurt?”

“No but what the fuck Palma-san?!” Kaminari screamed “I want to drive one of those things! You always get to do all the cool stuff.”

“Do you need help? Is your friend in trouble?!” asked Tokoyami.

“I need to go rescue him before he crashes or causes damage” I pant “but I’m stuck with these shitty wheels and I can’t run or levitate that fast to catch up!” I scan the room and see Iida “TENYA! I need you!”

“Me? What do you need me for?” he said as he climbed down from a rope ladder.

“Let me copy your quirk” I put my hands out “its my only chance at catching up with him.”

“Of course! Here” he puts his face in my hands “anything for you Ita.”

Everyone looks as I sprout engines on my legs and ribs “Thanks! I owe you one Tenya!” I charge up my speed off “gotta blast!” I take off so fast, everyone almost missed me when they blinked. They all ran out the gym as they saw me catch up to Jin to turn off the 4-wheeler.

“Soooo, are we going to ignore the fact that she asked for Iida-kun in particular?” Sero spoke up, trying to start something “when she could’ve asked for Todoroki’s fire, Bakugo’s blasts, Mina’s acid, My tape, Tokoyami’s dark shadow or Aoyama’s laser to propel herself faster?”

“YOU’RE RIGHT!” Kirishima gasped “Bro, she has a thing for you!” he elbowed Iida “ask her to be your girlfriend already! She already trusts you enough to help her.”

“Hmm I don’t know about this one guys” Midoriya spoke up after running some calculations in his head “Iida-kun’s engines are fast if used properly and she did spend the whole year refining our quirks for future use” he crosses his arms “I’m saying that she knows what’s best for any given situation.”

“Thank you Midoriya-kun” Iida fixes his glasses “she’s smart and uses what she has on hand, just because I like her doesn’t mean she likes me back.”

“Oh yea? Okay then, what did she give you on Valentines day?” Mineta interrogated Iida.

“She gave me a berry tart she baked herself in a nicely hand-decorated cake box.”

“And was this tart delicious?” Mineta’s eyes narrowed.

“Yes, everything she makes is delicious” he crossed his arms “I gave her my best compliments.”

“Iida-kun, you block head!” Hagakure scolded “when a girl gives you something like that, that means she likes you and you’re supposed to tell her how you feel” everyone agreed and she added “what did you tell her?”

“I said that I enjoyed her tart and that I’m very fortunate to have a friend like her to get such a gift” he said confidently but everyone was getting upset.

“Poor thing must’ve been heartbroken!” Momo gasped “why won’t you tell her how you feel? Most of your gestures toward her seem like you’re leading her on and it’s confusing.”

“Look I appreciate your concerns about me and Ita” he looks off in distance to see her riding the 4-wheeler back to where her class is “but I feel like her heart isn’t ready to take on my version of things” he remembers our past conversations “she’s really working on herself as a person and very hard at that. Since moving out of our dorms, she became a better student and agent, all because we aren’t there to pester her about crushes or other non-academic things. Trust me, I miss her and worry about her just as much as you do but” he sighs and turns to head back in the gym “I need to give her space so she can be happy with herself before she can be happy with me in the mix.”

“Bro that was so noble” Sero wiped a tear off his face “she’s the luckiest girl to have somebody like you.”

The school day is almost wrapped up for the day ,and for the hero A class, class let out early. Iida, Midoriya and Kirishima make their way to the East school exit when the sound of jazz music catches their attention.

“What soulful sound!” Midoriya perks up and points to a hallway “that has to be coming from the auditorium!” The boys walk toward the auditorium and take a peek through the half opened door. On stage was a Big Band arrangement of Palma-san and some of her classmates performing. “Oh wow, look at Palma-san! She’s in her element.”

“How can you tell?” Kirishima asked “I don’t see how performing for an empty room can be anyone’s element.”

“She’s doing that thing where she’s smiling while sings” Midoriya point out as she does it “also her voice is carrying, see? She’s not even microphoned but we heard her from the main hall.”

She finishes her song and there was 3 people clapping “Any requests?” Palma asks the audience.

“Yo! play Lovefool!” Mic requested enthusiastically “I dedicate it to Shota.”

“Aww how sweet” Midnight squealed “you’re a lucky man Shota to have such a romantic man!”

“I guess” Aizawa grumbled as he slumped in his sleeping bag to hide his big dumb smile.

“This song goes out to those stubborn loves” I count off the band to start “...Dear I fear we’re facing a problem...”

“Wow, I never noticed how much charm her voice is” Kirishima awed “it’s like it was made for entertainment! What do you think Iida-kun?”

He wasn’t paying attention to what Kirishima was saying, all his focus was on her singing and longing that the song was for him. “Hm? what did you say?” Iida finally said something after a minute.

“Looks like you’re entranced by her voice too huh?” Midoriya observed “it’s nothing to be embarrassed about Iida-kun. Just don’t wait too long on her” he points to Shinso and Monoma, who were in different parts of the auditorium doing the same thing, watching her from afar. “looks like you’re not the only one that can’t tell her their true feelings.”

“...I can’t care about anything, but you~”

-End Chapter 24-

#bnha #mha #self insert au #chapter 24 #not canon #will update regularly #ask me anything #ya like jazz?#lmao but deadass #I'm one of those band kids

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obsessedbybucky · 8 years ago

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do all the questions :x (now i'm the small dick with a lot of balls)

Here I did them all bb

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?There's this guy I've been talking to for more or less three weeks and I've gone to see him at his job and chill with him and all and he looked interested. He even asked me to come hang out by his place this morning. It was the single most boring morning I've ever had. We didn't do anyhing, kiss/sex/etc, and all he did was talk and drink and smoke and play with his tattoo things, idk man. Then he tells me he's going to sleep and I'm ???? Ok??? So I left, and before I left he told me he would text me when he woke up. He didnt. Idk man.

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?The only person that's ever done that to me was one of my best friend's ex I fucked on his birthday. He was sweet. My best friend was happy for us but it didn't work so

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?Nah fam

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?Very

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?Sleeping and I received a text from my friend saying her significant other was just being diagnosed with cancer.

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?Me, myself and I probably

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?Probably nothing lmao

8: Are you close with your dad?Haven't seen him in a decade

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?Damn I wish

10: What are you listening to?Some NSYNC

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?Mcdonald's Caramel Iced Coffee

12: Do you like hickeys?Never had one

13: What time do you go to bed?Around 9 am

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?544444444444444rThis is kinda sad but my best friend. Also Lucas but fuck Lucas.

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?Not really lmao

16: Do you always answer your texts?Depends on who's texting

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?Yeah man. What he did what unnecessary and uncalled for.

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?Some hours ago

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?Probably my best friend. And up until yesterday morning, it was the guy from question 1

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?"I hope he really will text me later"

21: Is anyone else in the room with you?Nope

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?Yeah man

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?Yeah, I was at the peak of my happiness

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?So many people man

25: In the past week, have you cried?I don't remember tbh

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?Grey, black and blue

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?When I was younger

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?The guy from question 1

29: Do you have a best friend?I have two

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?Yeah, even though it was a whole month ago and I know he wants nothing to do with me

31: Who was your last call/text message from?One of my two best friend

32: Are you mad at anyone?So many people tbh

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?I only ever kissed one person that was younger than me

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?23 or 24, I'm not sure

35: How many more days until your birthday?92 days

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?Not really

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?Not really

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?Yep

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?Yep

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?Ah man, so many times

41: Do you think age matters in relationships?Depends, really

42: Are you available?As fuck

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?at least 5, not sure if there's more though

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?I want my lip piercing back

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?Hell to the nope

46: Do you regret anything?So many things man

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?The fact that my best friend's significant other's got cancer and the dude from question 1. In between these questions I went to a McDonald's to get some iced coffee and I wanted to get some cigarettes and he works at the gas station next to it and I knew he finished at 7 and it was past 7 so I went to go there but I saw him so I noped the fuck out and I told my sister to get my cigs for me and he told her he saw me nope the f out on my way there. it's been 45 minutes, I thought he would text me to ask me why but nah. He just doesnt give a fuck man, depresses me.

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?Yeah

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?Not really, he was the most gorgeous person I've ever kissed. Even though he was a real asshole afterwards, 18/10 would do it again

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?I don't think he likes me, he actually made it pretty clear.

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?Yep. Some awkward story, let me tell you

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?He works at my job so if we work together he talks to me, idk

53: What was the last thing you ate?Cookies

54: Did you get any compliments today?No, which is a shame bc look at me, i'm gorgeous

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?Back to Montreal bitchessssss

56: Do you own anything from other countries?Yeah, some things I bought when I was in New York. The other things are from ebay and shit.

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?Girls

58: Where have you lived most of your life?Charlevoix, Quebec, Canada, which is disgusting

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?Last weekend

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?No???? And I dont know why???

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?Nope

62: Who do you text the most?My best friend

63: What was the last movie you saw?Begin Again I think, of Me Before You

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?Have no bf/gf

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?Lmao under 0

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?Nope

67: Do you curse around your parents?I do

68: Are you happy with where you live?Kinda

69: Picture of yourself?Nah

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?I don't even really believe in relationships tbh. I'm 18 and never had any

71: Have you ever been dumped?We weren't in a relationship but it did felt like I was dumped real hard

72: What do you most like about making out?The touching and the kissing, idk, I just love everything about it.

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?Lmao always

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?Them

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?The stomach. If they have abs, there's 96% chance I'd bang them

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?My best friend

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?Lmao yeah

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?Happened once

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?When someone kisses me

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?Yeah why not

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?Yeah, awkward

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?YEAH LMAO

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?No, fuck that fucktard

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?Never

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?Nope, except when I was like 11

86: How can I win your heart?Be attractive and give me compliments.

87: What is your astrological sign?Taurus

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?Sleeping man

89: Do you cook?Does mac and cheese count?

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?Yeah omg weirdly

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?Sometimes yes, but then I remember I'm a hoe that wants to fuck a lot of people so

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?Let's put it like that, I've only ever had sex with the same person more than once once, and I did him twice.

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?I'm very superficial tbh, I like twinks. I love it when they're small.

94: Name four things that you wish you had!A beautiful person to fuck withAt least 2k$A penis and no boobs sometimesFriends tbh

95: Are you a player?I am

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?I think the most I did was like 4 different people in one evening. Wasn't even playing spin the bottle or anything

97: Are you a tease?yeah

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?No :(

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?Nope

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?Yeah

101: Hugs or Kisses?Kisses

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?yeah

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?The ass or the stomach

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?yep

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?Yeah I'm a hoe

106: Do you flirt a lot?yep

107: Your last kiss?Okay so I was out at a bar with some friends and when the bar closed, I got my cellphone and I saw this dude from work texted me and I answered and he replied instantly back. Some friends wanted to go up to this dude's hotel room and I didn't wanna and I couldn't find a taxi. So I drunk called the dude and asked him to come and get me. Which he did. Lots of shit were said during the hella long car drive and once we were at my place, I don't really remember if I kissed him before the bj happened but I definitely kissed him before he got out of my apartment. So yeah.

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?lmao way more

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?The dude from 107

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?Justin Timberlake or Dylan O'brien tbh

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?I thought it was the guy I saw yesterday morning but now idk

112: Does someone like you currently?I don't think so

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?Nah

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?Flings bc hoe

115: Ever made out with just a friend?Yep

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?Single I guess, never had any relationships.

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