#don’t come to my circus and cry when I start clowning

[pvffinsdaisies]

The UK & Ireland as Taylor Swift songs

ENGLAND: The Archer

“Combat, I’m ready for combat. I say I don’t want that, but what if I do? ‘Cause cruelty wins in the movies, I’ve got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you.

(…)

I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the prey. Who could ever leave me, darling, but who could stay?

Dark side, I search for your dark side, but what if I’m alright, right, right here? And I cut off my nose just to spite my face, and then I hate my reflection for years and years.

I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost. The room is on fire, invisible smoke. And all of my heroes die all alone, help me hold onto you.

(…)

All the king’s horses, all the king’s men, couldn’t put me together again ‘cause all of my enemies started out friends. Help me hold onto you.”

IRELAND: Mad Woman

“What did you think I’d say to that? Does a scorpion sting when fighting back? They strike to kill, and you know I will. (…)

Every time you call me crazy, I get more crazy. What about that? And when you say I seem angry, I get more angry.

And there’s nothing like a mad woman; what a shame she went mad. No one likes a mad woman; you made her like that. And you poke that bear til the claws come out, and you find something to wrap your noose around. And there’s nothing like a mad woman.

Now I breathe flames each time I talk, my canons all firing at your yacht. They say “move on”, but you know I won’t. And women like hunting witches too, doing your dirtiest work for you. It’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together.

(…)

I’m taking my time, taking my time, cause you took everything from me. Watching you climb, watching you climb, over people like me. The master of spin has a couple side flings, good wives always know. And she should be mad, should be scathing like me but

No one likes a mad woman.”

NORTHERN IRELAND: Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?

“The who’s who of ‘who’s that?’ Is poised for the attack, but my bare hands paved their path. You don’t get to tell me about ‘sad’

(…)

The scandal was contained, the bullet had just grazed. At all costs, keep your good name. You don’t get to tell me you feel bad.

Is it a wonder I broke? Let’s hear one more joke, then we could all just laugh until I cry.

(…)

So tell me everything is not about me, but what if it is? Then say they didn’t do it to hurt me, but what if they did? I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me. You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me. So all you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs- I’m always drunk on my own tears, isn’t that what they all said- then I’ll sue you if you step on my lawn. That is fearsome and I’m wretched and I’m wrong. Put narcotics into all of my songs, and that’s why you’re still singing along.

So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street. Crash the wedding like a record scratch as I scream, “Who’s afraid of little old me?” I was tame, I was gentle ‘til the circus life made me mean, “don’t you worry, folks, we took out all her teeth!” Who’s afraid of little old me? Well, you should be.

SCOTLAND: Peace

“But I’m a fire and I’ll keep your brittle heart warm if your cascade ocean-wave blues come. All these people think love’s for show, but i would die for you in secret. The devil’s in the details, but you got a friend in me. Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

Your integrity makes me seem small; you paint dreamscapes on the wall, I talk shit with my friends. It’s like I’m wasting your honour.

And you know that I’d swing with you for the fences, sit with you in the trenches. Give you my wild, give you a child. Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other, family that I chose now that I see your brother as my brother. Is it enough?

But there’s robbers to the east, clowns to the west. I’d give you my sunshine, give you my best, but the rain is always gonna come if you’re standing with me.”

WALES: Seven

“Please, picture me in the trees, I hit my peak at seven feet in the swing, over the creek. I was too scared to jump in, but I, I was high in the sky, with Pennsylvania under me, are there still beautiful things?

Sweet tea in the summer. Cross your heart, won’t tell no other. And though I can’t recall your face, I still got love for you. Your braid’s like a pattern, love you to the moon and to Saturn. Passed down like folk songs, the love lasts so long.

And I’ve been meaning to tell you, I think your house is haunted. Your dad is always mad, and that must be why. And I think you should come live with me and we can be pirates, then you won’t have to cry or hide in the closet. And just like a folk song, our love will be passed on.

Please, picture me in the weeds, before I learnt civility. I used to scream ferociously anytime I wanted.”

[janis-1987]

Fizzarolli’s Backstory Part 2

Hey all, here’s part two! This part covers from the signing of the contract to when Asmodeus buys his contract.  Part 1 X

Tw: Mammon, abuse, graphic injuries, PTSD, phantom pains, incontinence, low self esteem, arguments, break ups, alcohol and weed mentions and lots of angst. 

Mammon finished explaining what the contract would entail and even presented it to him. 

In all honesty, Fizzarolli didn't like the sound of this deal much. It didn’t sound like a good deal at all, he was basically trading away all of his freedom to Mammon. He wouldn’t own his own likeness, his name, his limbs, anything. But he didn’t see what choice he had, if he didn’t take this deal he would be left critically disabled for the rest of his life with no way to achieve his dream or even perform ever again, and the thought of that made him feel even more sick to his stomach than the idea of giving everything to Mammon did. 

Fizzarolli sighs softly, “Can I have a day or two to think over my options?” He asks meekly as he grits his teeth to deal with the immense pain he was still in. 

Mammon glares a growl coming from him, “Fine. You have until tomorrow afternoon. I hope you make the right choice.” He says as he stomps out of the room. 

As Mammon leaves the room, Blitzo enters, holding a small bouquet of flowers. He smiles meekly at Fizzarolli, “Hey baby.” He murmurs to him.  Fizz glares daggers into Blitzo, he could scream, he should scream, he should scream and shout and tear Blitzo a new one after what he did. His voice fills with venom as he practically spits his words at Blitzo, “Don’t you fucking dare hey baby me.” He snarls, “You nearly killed me you fucking idiot!” That’s when he realizes something, Blitzo is entirely uninjured. Besides his voice being a bit raspier than before, he was fine. Fizz growls at Blitzo, it wasn’t fair, how come he had to get broken practically beyond repair but yet Blitzo, the one who caused this, was completely fine. He was going to lose it. 

Blitzo stares at his distressed boyfriend, “Um.. I’m really sorry about-” He starts. 

Fizz cuts him off with a bout of cruel laughter as tears sting his eyes, “Oh you’re sorry?! Oh you’re fucking sorry alright, you are a second rate clown at fucking best, and you are the absolute shittiest boyfriend in the entirety of hell! You only ever think about your damn self. I don’t know how I lasted a fucking year with you as my boyfriend. I should have abandoned that shit hole of a circus and you along with it when I had the chance!” 

The words hit Blitzo like a semi truck, Fizz knew exactly was to say to get under his skin, he drops the flowers, he was not going to cry, not now, not in front of him, he was going to hurt him just as badly as he hurt him. “Oh that’s rich coming from a sellout like you. You didn’t even talk to me about it! What kind of boyfriend does something so big without talking to their partner?!”  The two go back and forth until visiting hour is over, and Blitzo is dragged out by security screaming and shouting. The last thing Fizz says to him is “AND DON’T COME BACK YOU NO GOOD WANNA BE!” 

However, once it was just him, alone in the cold, sterile room, tears fall from his eyes and he whimpers, wrapping his tail around himself for comfort no matter how badly it hurt. He had just lost the only person who would have cared about him genuinely in this state. He looks at the contract Mammon had left for him. He really had no options left but to sign it. He manages to get a pen into his mouth and sign the damn thing.  When Mammon came to see him the next day, a wide smirk graces his features,  Fizz was already regretting his decision.  It took a whole month for Fizz to finally be released from the hospital, he had a plethora of meds to take now, not to mention he had started to learn just how badly his injuries were going to affect him on the daily.  He stood on unsteady robot legs, it felt wrong, he had been going through physical therapy and he would need more. The whole experience was humiliating, he had to learn how to do everything all over again. Save for talking thankfully. He was thankful to finally be free from the hospital until he realizes that there are multiple reporters in his face. He looks at Mammon in panic, he had no idea that he was going to have to do a press event right now. At least it explained why he was in a new jester costume rather than something comfortable.  Lights flash in his face and he stumbles backwards, his tail nervously flicking. With no time to prepare for the questions or the swarm of people he was caught completely off guard and had no answers prepared. He felt like shit and hardly could think of anything witty to say as he was bombarded with questions.  He could feel a cold glare from Mammon, it sent shivers down his spine, oh Lucifer, he was royally fucked for this failure of an interaction. As soon as they were in the limo, Mammon smacked him across the face. Fizz yelps in pain as he’s sent flying back from it. His tail flicks as tears well in his eyes.  “You idiot! How hard is it to answer a few simple questions, don't tell me you’re a waste of money already!” Mammon roars.  Fizz shakes his head and whimpers, “N-no, I’m not a waste, I w-was just caught off guard. I’m sorry.” He answers quickly, his whole body shaking, he doesn't even notice that he’s wet himself in fear.  Mammon looks at him with disgust, “You’re disgusting. Clean yourself as soon as I drop you off. You start working again tomorrow so you better figure out your shit.”  Fizz can only nod, his head hangs low in shame, he can’t believe he had wet himself. Mammon shoves him out of the limo. Fizz looks up at the trailer in front of him. Well, at least he wasn’t living in a tent anymore. He walks inside and looks around, finding the bathroom with ease. He tosses the soiled suit into the laundry basket and turns on the water for a shower. Tears slide down his face, as he tries to keep himself calm. He’s shaking like a chihuahua and he swears he can feel a sharp pain in his left arm, despite the impossibility of that.  Eventually, he got used to his new life, to the abuse. He expected it at this point. He had also found out that Mammon saw his limbs as a privilege that he could revoke. Fizz hated when he did that, because he would be left to lie in his own filth when that happened and there was nothing he could do about it. He could take the abuse, he was a tough little imp, and he could just zone out as it happened besides everything Mammon did to him was nothing compared to the accident. What he couldn't handle was the PTSD attacks, he couldn't escape what had happened to him at every turn, every night he was plagued with night terrors and he would always wake up in a cold sweat. On really unlucky days he would wake up with his tail dislocated or worse, his limbs gone.  His life felt like a constant downwards spiral, he turned to weed and alcohol to numb everything. His personality on stage was still as eccentric and fun on stage, but behind the curtain was a different story, he was detached. Completely void of most anything feeling, and mean. He used to be able to be friendly to people he worked with but now he was snippy and a bit rude. He would always apologize when he caught himself. And most people let it go, they knew the imp was living through the worst thing anyone could really think of and had that horrible accident happen to him too.  Life was quickly becoming meaningless to him, even performing was starting to feel more and more like a chore. His joints ached and his shoulders and hips cracked on bad days, and were silently painful on good ones. Constant trips to the chiropractor for his fucked up spine eventually were replaced with doctor visits as his a metal rod was added to support his spine and help keep his limbs stay more securely attached to him. And he couldn't care less.  He sat alone in his trailer, drinking straight from the bottle of some expensive wine or another. He didn't care about anything anymore. He had so many regrets. He glared at his reflection in the bottle, “Worthless. That’s what you are.” He slurs to himself, he throws the bottle at the wall shattering it, “Shut up.” He tells the glass.  Eventually Mammon got him an apartment near LooLoo Land, Fizz didn't really see the point in it. All it did in his opinion was give crazed fans more chances to jump him. What did it matter? He was going to die tragically young in an alley due to some obsessed fan. He was sure of it. But how could he complain? He had gotten everything he had ever wanted. He was famous, known throughout hell. But that didn't matter to him anymore. Nothing did.  “Ragdoll!” Mammon roars, getting Fizzarolli’s attention.  Fizzarolli stopped practicing and looks at Mammon, a clear lack of care in his eyes, “Yeah, Mammon?”  “Meet me in my office. Now.” He says with a glare.  Fizz sighs, what did he do wrong this time? He swears half the time he hadn’t done anything and Mammon just wanted to take his anger out on someone. And Fizz happened to be his favorite victim. 

They arrive at Mammon’s office and Fizz freezes as he notices who else is there. Asmodeus, the demon prince of lust sat in the chair next to where Fizz was meant to sit. Oh great, now Mammon wanted to turn him into a whore.  “Ragdoll, meet Asmodeus.” Mammon says, gesturing between the two.  Asmodeus waves to Fizz. Fizz raises an eyebrow, but offers a small wave in return.  “He wants to buy your contract from me. I figured you should be made aware of the change in ownership.” Mammon says simply with a shrug.  Fizz just nods, little did he know, his life was finally about to turn around. 

[iekeejkeek]

new ending for the ringmaster tickle 🎩🐈‍⬛✨🤡🪄

(Let skip the clown bc it will took so long and i’m lezzy)

ENJOY

After a running you get teleport to a giant table “what how did I get up here” you look little confused but the big smile of the tickle monster just slowly Stan up at you “no no no not you” and yea is your man

Ringmaster :)

“HELLO LITTLE FRIEND HERE COME THE REAL FUN” you try to run but well he pink you up take your shoes off and use a………tiny feather to tickle your feet (is his power lol) “HAHAHAHA NOHOHO WHAOHOH EVEN IS THAT” he just smile and use more feather to tickle your tummy and side “NOOOO HAHAHA EHEHE NOOO STOOHO I CAN’T HAHAHAH” not just your tummy and side your leg are tickle by the tiny feather to your neck your hips your bottom belly “TICKLE TICKLE LET SEE THE SMILE ON THE FACE TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE” it is so tickle for you that everything is so dark…oh no you have to get yourself together don’t let him do that “no…no I can’t see anything uh………no” you pass out 

you wake up in the table again

“YOU CREEPY MAN” ringmasters still sit here smile you look mad he keep look at you little boy/girl and smile 

“WHAT YOU GOING TO DO HEHEHEHE”

You look at him I remember of how you win for the first time “I remember someone here have a tickle nipple am i right” ringmaster look little scared but try to scared you more “what…you think is going to work is not-” you running and jumping in his white shirt “NO NOT IT” you look at it nipple and think “hm you know I going to tickle your nipple and make you milk” ringmaster look so scared “NO WHAT” you laugh little “just kidding is going to be fun right”

You started to tickle a left side nipple first “tickle tickle tickle” he try to hold the laugh “oh a little hole here hmmm………should I tickle it?” You think for a second…

“hmmmmm yea why not” you tickle a little hole and outside to

“HAHAHAHA NOT IT HAHAHA” he’s laughing so hard that you can hear it in here “tickle tickle it little cheese will make you laugh” you keep tickle fast and fast “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOHOHOHOH” now you go to a other side of the nipple you think of how to make more tickle and well…you lick it

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH STOP IT YOU MOUSE” you think for a second and came up to him “how about neck tickle instead” you started to tickle his neck while he’s laughing so hard with some tears of happiness 

“HAHAHAHA STOP…YOU MAKE ME CRY NOWAWAW HAHAHAHA NOOOO” you when hide in his shirt right now so he can’t touch you but… he’s too tried to do that anyway “AH HAHAHA…hahaha…ahhh…” uh oh or should I say YAY you win “ha…! Look like I-” he still up !

“You not getting away with…it” you look at his you were little scared but well you still in his shirt so “breast tickle…is my last thing with you…!” You tickle the breast with only one figured and you know is working “HAHAHA…AHHH…pass out.exe lol” 

Oh………you make him pass out

WILL YOU WIN

“Oh finally…wait what is that a sound uh oh a clown…!” He is coming is here you little scared bc of how tall he is…he comes in look at you

“Hey master I’m hungry- oh you…he pass out bc of tickle isn’t he…I know bc laugh is so loud” you so at him “you uh yea…so you hungry?”  “yep…i’m not going to be mad at you if you make me a cheese sandwich :)”

What no…i’m making you a ch-”

“WAAAAA”

“Oh for goddess”

“Fries cheese sounds”

“Yay thx you :o]”

“Can I leave after it…btw a soup is tomato and onion”

“Yes…and sounds so yum :o>”

You leave it circus walking in to the big village with a lot of houses human and soul and ghost you wonder what is happened next in there will you found him the demon of jealousy will you just got a old grandfather give you a something you will have to use for it but will you not forget about it joyful circus is used to be…

The end (little mouse tickle end)

After you left bc is funny of how he small cheese for the circus :)

🎩:what the hell…is that cheese sandwich? 🤡:yea you want some masters :)

🎩:give me…the sandwich and the soup…right now I’m…hungry 

🤡:here you go…

🎩 and 🤡: *eat sound*

🎩:is good is that kid make it

🤡:yep

🎩: I…hope he/she coming to visit here soon

🤡:me to master

👒🕷: give me the sandwich you clown

🤡: no lol uh how did you ever get here…

Enjoy it hmmm…😄

[kryptonian-puppy]

*

[mourntheantagonist]

hello fellow clowns, welcome to the circus! let’s over-analyze together.

everyone is talking about it, so here’s my take on vecna!billy’s single tear shed.

this one. right here.

buckle up. this is going to be a long one.

I want to start off by looking at this scene just by itself. this is vecna speaking to max as billy. from what we know so far about vecna this season is that he’s targeting specifically traumatized teens, and if we think about it, that has always been the case. vecna goes after those who have “fractured minds” because they are the easiest to infiltrate. It’s the same reason he chose will in season’s one and two, and billy in season three. In this scene, vecna is trying to play into max’s guilt and insecurity and he’s doing that by having her hear all of the things that have been tormenting her come out of the mouth of the person she feels the guilt for.

this is vecna. this is not billy. and yet, he cries.

I think it’s important to focus on exactly what sentence brings the tear to his eye.

“…and why late at night you have sometimes wished to follow me. follow me into death.”

why would vecna feel sadness over max feeling so much guilt that she wishes that she had died too? he wouldn’t. as we’ve seen, vecna takes nothing but pleasure in the pain of his victims. that is vecna.

but billy, he would feel sadness, he would cry.

now, we all know that the image we are looking at is simply vecna in disguise. the words, the body… it’s not billy. but what if it’s not billy in the same exact way this this guy…

…isn’t billy.

think about what “billy” is saying in this scene from season three.

“and when you’re gone, we’re going to end your friends, and then we’re going to end everyone.”

in both scenes, it’s all about max. yes, billy of course is crying for everyone in this scene. he doesn’t want to kill anyone. but think about it. in his own twisted way, billy has always made it a point to protect max. in both of these scenes, her safety is being threatened. her death is being planned. and in both of these scenes billy holds no power and has no way of playing a protective role. he just gets to sit back and watch.

but, billy is dead. right?

the answer to that question is yes… and no.

the mindflayer, vecna… he killed billy…

and to take the words directly from the killers mouth:

“they’re not gone, eleven. they’re still with me.”

there is so much to unpack in that line. you could argue that he just means that he always remembers, like he said to nancy

“when I kill someone, I never forget.”

but I don’t think that’s the entire picture. look back at each time someone was taken under vecna’s curse. vecna tells both fred and max that it is time for them to “join” him, which makes me think that the “they’re still with me” might be more than a symbol of remembering.

and of course, if that really was the case, it wouldn’t explain the tear.

remember, billy is one of the very few that was successful at vanquishing the mindflayer/vecna. the only two others that ever succeeded against him were will and max, and technically, max is still under vecna’s curse, and will had to have it burned out of him. the most he could do on his own, even with the help of memories, was speak in morse code. billy defied the mindflayer, he stood up to the mindflayer. vecna could not maintain control over billy, because billy was too strong for him.

so where am I going with this? I promise I have a point.

my point is, if what vecna/one/henry creel/peter ballard… whatever you wanna call him… said is true and literal, it means that billy is still there, with him, inside of him. and billy has the strength to break through vecna’s captivity. maybe not by much. maybe all he can do is shed a tear.

or maybe this is all a set up for something big. maybe billy is the key to defeating vecna. maybe billy can find the same strength he found that day in starcourt where he was able to take back the control of his own body, and perhaps that means he can take the control of vecna’s body as well.

my point is, billy is still alive, maybe not in the way we would like him to be, but his mind is alive inside of vecna.

so, to answer you max…

he can.

[l0velyblu3]

Distant (R.T. x Reader) Pt. 1

Pairing: Richie Tozier x GN! Reader

You and Richie are like 15/16 in this.

Summary: Richie had been distant lately, so you just wanted to see why. You wish you hadn't.

Warnings: Swearing. Angst angst. Insecurities being used against reader

Request: No

Word count: 874 I think?

Richie had been distant recently and you had no idea why. Every time you would try to do something with him, whether it was going on a date to the park, or staying home and watching a movie it was like he didn’t want to be there. You could practically cut the awkward tension in the air with a knife, it was so thick. You loved Richie and respected his space, but it’s been two and a half weeks since you guys have even spoken a word to each other that wasn’t “excuse me.” while passing each other in the hallway.

It took you awhile, but you finally got the balls to go up to Richie and confront him about the matter. So after school, you built up your courage, got on your bike, and made your way to Richie’s house in hope’s to find an explanation from him.

You don’t know how long you stood in front of his door before you actually knocked. And not long after was Richie himself. To say he was surprised to see you at his door was an understatement. His already giant doe eyes practically grew 2x their size. You didn't get the chance to say anything before Richie cleared his throat to speak, “So what are you doing here?” he asked. You gulped down your nerves and found your voice, “ummm, I came here to talk to you.” Richie rolled his eyes at you which hurt a little bit, but you pushed it down. You made a move to go into Richie’s house which he let you come in with no problem.

As soon as you step in his house you make a start to go to his room. Behind you, you could hear Richie close the front door before you heard his footsteps behind you.

You walk into Richie’s room, Richie himself not far behind you. You turn around to face him while he is closing his bedroom door. He immediately turns around to face you, annoyance evident on his face. He leans against the wall with his arms crossed, “So, what do you wanna talk about?” he asks. You start to talk, but fail miserably. You sigh and try to talk again, in hopes to get through all the words you had previously rehearsed at school moments earlier.

“I just wanted to know why you’ve been so distant lately? I mean I get you want space, but it’s been two and a half weeks Rich! No hugs, kisses, affection. Nothing. Did I do something to upset you?” you ask, out of breath by the end of it. Richie just looks at you and scoffs while mumbling something under his breath. “Huh? What was that Rich?” You said, walking closer to him.

“Nothing.” but you wouldn’t stop, you wanted to know what he said. “What was that Rich?” you cupped your ear, emphasizing your point. Richie rolled his eyes again and stood up straight, “I said, it was nothing! Why can’t you understand that?! God damn this is the reason why I’ve been so fucking distant lately! Is because you’re always in my fucking business! Wherever I go it’s ‘Richie where are you going?’ ‘Richie text me when you get there!’ Richie this Richie that! When are you gonna stop?!” you took a step back from him, slowly processing what he had just said to you. Had you been that annoying? You just wanted to make sure he was safe, considering when you were 13 a fucking demonic circus clown from a different world was going around eating kids, so of course you were more careful than usual. You look at Richie, he had a red tint to his face, he was breathing in and out rather aggressively. You felt the tears prick your eyes so you wiped them away before they could fall down your face. But then you heard Richie scoff, “Seriously?! Are you fucking serious right now?! Are you crying?!!” He yelled at you. You flinched away from him, but he didn’t notice, he just continued yelling at you.

“You’re such a fucking cry baby. I should’ve listened to everybody when they said how fucking pathetic you are!” Wait, people said that about you? Since when did people say shit about you? Why? Who? When?!

While questioning everything, Richie had had enough, “Y’know what? Just leave. I don’t want you here anymore.” He said rather calmly. You felt like you just got stabbed in the heart. Not only had he used your biggest insecurity against you, but he was kicking you out. You couldn’t believe what was happening, but you couldn’t process what was happening before Richie was basically pushing you out of his room before slamming the door in your face. You didn’t stay in front of his door, no, you ran down his stairs and towards the front door, trying to leave as fast you could. You hop on your bike as soon as you get to it. Riding as fast as you could, and ironically it started to rain. You didn’t care though, you just wanted to get to your room and stay there for all of eternity, while crying over what Richie had said and contemplating your relationship.

[baeshijima]

hi yes sO !! im broken. devastated. sobbing tears. hating MY life. 

why? bc uNUSUAL LOVE ARTEM IS NOT REAL AND ONLY EXISTS THROUGH MY SCREEN [insert !! emoji]

this card .

THIS CARD !!! has me on my knees and wishing i could spend money on games when it was out during sott :/

the moments where both of these cgs occur has me in a chokehold where i’m just a crying and sputtering mess bc words don’t exist. emotions are a lie. i don’t know what’s real anymore.

ik it’s out officially from the top-up event and stuff, but i enjoy this creator’s videos and tls (plus the audio is s-cn, which is what i use ;w;) so if u don’t have the card and would like to read/watch it, then u can use this link here ^^

i’ll be talking abt the card story & video call w/ pictures UTC so ignore for spoilers !!

"Never apologize when it's between you and I." 

okay. do u WANT me to cry again? bc i can and will and already am just going back over the transcripts gdi.

the fact this is back when they first started out as partners.... and they had to . act as husband and wife . and celestine was coaching them on how to act like a married couple . mrs. wing .

...

dhmu i’m literally in an unrequited, one-sided pining trope with them . #real

[ in context for rosa trying on jewellery for their mission with the client ]

artem: give it a try, baby.

sir. sIR. AAAAAAAA [falls to the floor and never gets up] i personally don’t like the terms “babe” or “baby” but artem using it seems so out of place that it makes me love him for it bc of the script celestine probably made them recite 😭

artem: then might as well buy them all. it's rare that they all match you so well. [artem speaks as he signals the service assistant to take out the necklaces of other colors, then asked again.] // is there a matching earring with this necklace? [artem looked at the design of the earrings and nodded slightly, then swiped his card right away.]

rosa’s thoughts: we've only been shopping for an hour, and I'm already incapable to calculate the amount that artem has swiped.

literally in tears for the nth time. artem is loaded and doesn’t hesitate to swipe his card for her 😭 he even went past what he was originally supposed to spendhfjgl <///3

his lil pout :((( when rosa told him she was going to return all the stuff he bought since it was for an act :(((( sobbing :’((((

[The sales assistants from the accessory shops are still the best to handle, the staff from the shoes and clothing areas have all put on a very "understanding" expression with the assumptions that I have gotten pregnant... The staff have all earnestly exhorted Artem and I to come back for new items 10 months later, I can't wait to disappear right away...]

THIS IS WHAT THE SALES ASSISSTANTS THOUGHT WHEN THEY RETURNED THE JEWELLERY 😭😭 I CANT WITH THIS GAME </////3

darius: the seller was worried that he'd be in trouble, then found a bottle to pour water and gave it to Luo Luo, and lodged a police report. // thank goodness... [Darius looked at Artem that has his hair and face drenched, and sighed lightly.]

i’m so.... so..... sobs. it’s the fact he jumped in front of her so that he would get hit instead, when the chances of it actually being sulfuric acid was there. i hate him sm /affectionate bc he makes me cri w/ his self-sacrificing behaviour :brokenheart:

anywho moving onto the lighter moments bc i don’t have the heart to talk abt their lil moment bc that fucking broke me into tiny shards of sophie and i don’t want to relive that experience :D

sobbing. tears are being sobbed. i’m a clown. i live in a circus day in, day out. life has no meaning when mc put on this adorable plaster on artem’s injury. gonna cry again goodbye :’D

artem: why are you at this again? we are partners, when it’s between us, there’s no need to say sorry.

SCREAMS HES SOODJFFFFFFKFSNFSDL <333

aND THE WAY HE TRIED TO COVER UP THE FACT HE BOUGHT ROSA A GIFT (the pair of earrings she really wanted to buy on her own later on) BY SAYING HE AND CELESTINE AGREED TO AS COMPENSATION FOR THE SITUATION 😭😭😭 AND WHEN CELESTINE HAD TO PLAY ALONG AFTER ROSA RAN INTO HER OUTSIDE HIS OFFICE 🤧 stop he’s so ugHJDFJLF <//3

artem: even if it’s a tiniest probability, i will not let you face danger. don’t be afraid. // me? if it were for me, i would make the same choice all over again. i’d still make the same decision.

sophie, sniffling with tears running down her cheeks: i lov u TヘT

[juniorgman187]

Spoiled Rotten (Reid Fic)

Summary: After Spencer went radio silent on Reader while he was in prison, their pride and stubbornness threatens to tear them apart forever. Reader’s forced to mourn the death of who they were and experience the inner turmoil of navigating who they are.

A/N: Y’all are gonna kill me for the ending, but it’s one hell of a way to go.  Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid Category: Angst Content Warning: Imprisonment, humiliation, abandonment, anger, frustration, angst, yelling, fighting Word Count: 5.3k Playlist: Traitor by Olivia Rodrigo

Time jumps are indicated by “. . .” or “_ _ _”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

A rather unfortunate predicament we’ve found ourselves in tonight. I can’t say I’ve ever been quite this uncomfortable in my life, yet I’m careful not to speak too soon. Because I know the second Spencer opens his mouth to break the silence we’re currently sitting in, I’ll stand corrected. 

“You’re breathing really hard,” He tells me out of nowhere. 

See, I stand corrected. 

Now that I’ve become hyper aware of my own inhale and exhale, my respiration is just that much more restricted. I’m practically holding my breath at this moment - both from the anticipation of catching this unsub in the act and giving Spencer one less thing to scrutinize about me. 

“I didn’t say you had to stop breathing,” He tacks on as if it would put me any more at ease. Not that if he had explicitly said such a thing, I would’ve. 

Unlike other people, I wasn’t exactly jumping at the chance to throw myself at his feet so he’d like me. But to use that as grounds for his disdain would be foolish. Our rancor went deeper than the basic lack of synergy between us. 

And in the spirit of getting to the bottom of that abyssal pit, I finally asked the question with words that always seemed to hang above but never would form. 

“Why was I the only one denied visitation while you were in prison?” 

It may surprise you to know that it wasn’t always like this between us; we were actually close once, although it is hard to imagine that version of us ever really existing. However, if I think about it hard enough, I can remember with perfect clarity who we used to be. 

. . .

“Jeez, you really don’t like these things do you?” I nudged him playfully before feeling instantly guilty once I witnessed the result of my shove that must’ve been a little too much for all 120 (at most) pounds of him. I’d neglected to remember the strength I held over the lanky Doctor as well as neglected to notice where the trajectory of my push would land him - in the direct line of a circus clown walking the opposite direction as us. This, of course, brought him face to face with the character. Unfortunately, I managed to catch a glimpse of the lens of Spencer’s glasses grazing the white face paint of the caricature. 

After a shudder of mortification and a very brave shriek, Spencer ran to my other side to be as far away from the clown as possible and apparently, as close to me as possible. From a distance, you’d think we were conjoined simply by the way he was glued to me - shoulder to shoulder, elbow to elbow, hip to hip, thigh to thigh. 

While removing his glasses to clean them off with the hem of his blazer, he answered, “Carnivals? I mean, what’s not to like? What with the loud noises, the heart-attack-inducing food that’s more grease than actual food, or the sheer amount of bacteria harboring on each and every handle, hoop, ball, or button of these ridiculous game booths.” 

“Wow, you really don’t like carnivals.” I should’ve figured. 

“Nope. Never have and probably never will.” 

As someone who looked forward to the fair every summer of her childhood, any aversion to carnivals broke my heart. I had a fondness for them borne in adolescence that I couldn’t quite justify now in my adulthood. 

“But they’re fun!” was the best argument I could muster. The whine in my voice being provoked by the possibility that the higher the shrill of my pitch, the easier he’d be to sway. Turns out, Dr. Reid was not nearly as susceptible to my auditory persuasion as I might’ve thought he was. Just a stone cold, inconvincible slab of steel. 

“I’m sorry. I know you brought me here because you love these things, but I just can’t get past the ...” He surveyed the fair, ostensibly against his will, in search of the perfect word to describe our surroundings. “Filth.”

I would’ve argued in the defense of the carnival, mentioning how it’s endearing that the only bathrooms for miles were porta potties, and that the screaming, crying, sticky children galore just added to the attraction, and that there was a hidden charm to the way the roller coasters creaked beyond their means with every ride. 

But to an extent, I agreed. It was rather filthy, and I wasn’t much of a germaphobe myself so to someone like him, this would be hell on earth. 

“Well, you get what you put into it. If you’re willing to overlook some minor imperfections, I really think you’d enjoy this place.” 

Spencer by now had his hands in his pockets and his walking pace had slowed to a complete halt. There was a moment of skepticism, followed by a partially open smile to make way for the laughter that escaped from the disbelief that he felt for letting me break his resolve so easily. 

“Alright then. What do you want to do first, Brat?” 

The nickname I’d earned could be seen as meanspirited, but truly, it was affectionately diminutive. Like all good nicknames are. And like the proclaimed Brat I was, I’d taken him to all my favorite parts of the fair. 

First came the bumper cars to ease him into the experience - as ironic as that sounds. He was reluctant to submerge his gangly body into a mini vehicle, much less one that’d been inhabited by God knows how many people before us, but he pushed his reservations aside when he realized he’d get to slam into my car (safely, of course). 

Secondly, we went on the Carousel, but this was only in preparation for the real ride that I wanted to take him on next - the Swinging Chairs. He’d gotten a little nauseous, from both the repetitive circling and the galvanized chains he had to hold that were definitely held by several others. 

He had no interest in going on the Gravitron - super lame, I know - so we opted for the Ferris Wheel instead. I didn’t mind making this compromise so much after recognizing all that he’d done for my benefit that night. And for his generosity and selflessness, I thought it only fitting to end the night going somewhere so tame he couldn’t possibly have any opposition to it.

The photo booth.

The booth in particular we’d gone to was smaller than an airplane bathroom, if you can imagine that. The bench seat was barely wide enough to fit Spencer, let alone seat the both of us. While he didn’t explicitly make the offer to let me sit on his lap, it was kind of a give in that I’d have some part of my body intertwined around him like stubborn ivy. 

. . .

I still laugh thinking about the tangled mess of limbs we were below what the camera couldn’t capture. It was arguably the furthest extent of contortionist work I wanted to do in my lifetime, and henceforth exceedingly uncomfortable, and yet, I’d never felt more at home than when I was in his arms. 

That night he would tear off the top three photos to keep for himself while I kept the bottom three photos. 

To this day, I have never seen the pictures that he kept, and I’m left to wonder if he had them at all.

Because I still have mine. And they were virtually the only thing keeping me sane throughout his trial and subsequent imprisonment. 

Six Months Ago ...

My eyes were locked on the loose thread of my cardigan that I was rolling between my fingers anxiously. 

“Would you stop that?” Penelope swatted my hand away from my sweater. “You’re making me nervous just looking at you.” She grumbled. 

“Sorry,” I apologized bleakly.

A few seconds later she groaned again, making me think I was still doing something bothersome, but it turned out to be just the opposite. “Ugh, I know that sounded mean, and I hate when I sound mean, but I can feel my forehead creasing from the stress, and watching you fidget is going to give me an ulcer.”

“I wish I could help it. I’m just really worried about him.”

“Well I am, too, but that’s not gonna do us any good right now. All we can do is hope for the best.”

Sometimes Penelope’s overly optimistic view on life was futile and unwelcome, and truthfully, this was one of those times. 

“Penny?” 

As she turned her head, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the lenses of her dark green glasses. I could see my own mournful expression as I asked, “What if he’s found guilty?” 

She started to say something but stopped herself. “Right now, all we need to focus on is his bail. We can worry about a verdict later.” She put her hand on top of mine and shook it briefly to remind me that we were in this together. 

Moments later recess was over and the team came trudging back into the courtroom. 

The sound of the judge clearing her throat and our footsteps on the floor made this feel all too normal. 

How could Spencer’s life be hanging in the balance in such a place as non-intimate as this? 

It frustrated me how casual things felt today and how everyone was acting normally. Prentiss had yet to bat an eye, Rossi’s stoic expression never changed, and Penelope was telling me not to worry. Everyone was acting so aloof. 

My eyes darted to Spencer, who was looking back at us woefully. I couldn’t bear to see him like that any longer, so I kept my head down and stared at my feet after I took my seat. 

Even when I closed my eyes, I was haunted by the vision of him in a suit, just like one he’d wear to work. But instead, he was wearing it for this - this vastly different situation. 

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look at him the same in one anymore. I’ll probably just remember this particular look on his face, in this god awful courtroom, during this horribly nauseating circumstance. 

If one thing was for certain, it was that this would all come back to me if I ever laid eyes on him in a suit, and that thought fucking terrified me. 

Because that one thought spiraled into the next: Everything was bound to change after this. Every little thing would change in every little way. 

Spencer’s lawyer, the judge, and the prosecutor were going back and forth for a while, but I tuned it all out because I knew if I had tuned in, I wouldn’t have been able to hold back my arguments. Eventually, though, I heard something I could no longer ignore. 

“If past behavior is the best indicator of future conduct, and I do believe it is, then your client presents a flight risk.”

I stood up immediately, getting a head rush from the speed. I knew what was to follow, so I needed to be on my feet the second I heard it. Maybe so I could run and escape before I had to.

“Bail is denied. The defendant will remain in federal custody pending trial.” 

“Spencer!” I shouted, losing all the composure I’d been trying to maintain. I reached for him as if he was at any capacity to reach back and hold me. God, I needed him to hold me. Hold me like how he did at the carnival. 

Hold me.

Luke held me back as I fought to be near him.

“Let me go!” I screamed, trying to break free of his tight grip. Spencer could only stand and stare, mirroring my own wistful glance. He mouthed something to me that I couldn’t quite make out, but if I knew him at all, he probably said something about not wanting me to worry about him. 

“(Y/n), (y/n) it’s gonna be alright.” JJ reasoned, pulling me into a hug. 

“How long before this case goes to trial?” I heard Prentiss whisper to Spencer’s lawyer. 

“It’s a complicated case. I’d say three months maybe?” 

Immediately, I worked myself out of JJ’s arms and pushed my way through the team, running up to the barrier between us.

“Spence!” I cried out in anguish. 

To the sound of my voice, he glanced over his shoulder sadly. He wasn’t even shocked I’d been able to get so close to him - he seemed to expect it, and for that, he was sad. Because he knew if I was going to be as stubborn as to fight to get to him at this hearing, then I was going to be stubborn enough to reach him in prison, too. And should he find himself behind bars, he knew that I’d get to him one way or another. 

That is if he’d let me. 

“Be strong,” He weakly smiled. ‘For me’ his sad eyes begged in addition. He held my gaze for as long as he possibly could before disappearing into another room. 

As I watched him walk away, I could feel my heart shattering and crumbling into the pit of my stomach. Perhaps that was a premonition, a true gut feeling, telling me something I at the time couldn’t have known and wouldn’t have accepted. 

That was the last time I would see Spencer. 

People always say when something unbelievable happens, it doesn’t feel real, but this? Nothing felt more real and more intense than this. 

There was no other way for me to see this situation but as the first defeat in an endless line of them.

If Spencer was denied bail, what else could happen to him? Could he be found guilty too? Because prior to this, the denial of his bail seemed impossible. He posed no flight risk, but according to the judge, he did. So if what I once thought to be impossible happened, then it could and would happen again.

I knew Spencer was going to be found guilty.

What I didn’t know, though, was how I was going to live with myself from then on.

I didn’t go that day. 

I knew myself too well. So did the others, which is why they didn’t object to my decision not to come to Spencer’s trial. They knew I was better off staying home. Especially, if there was the chance that I might react hysterically again.

I didn’t stay home, though. That part the team never found out about. 

I went to visit Diana instead. A much wiser choice, in my opinion. 

“You know, we’ve been talking so much about Spencer today, but we haven’t talked about you yet,” said Diana. 

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.” I feigned a polite smile. 

“You thought I wouldn’t notice?” She tilted her chin downward and gave me that sly grin of hers. 

“No, no, of course not. I know better than to underestimate the Diana Reid.” I quipped, making her smile widen. “I just figured you’d wanna spend your time talking about someone much more interesting.” 

“Oh please, Spencer and I talk about you all the time.”

I perked up from the checker piece I was fiddling with. “You do?”

“Mhm,” She nodded over and over again. “I always knew there was something between you two because you could always talk about each other to me, but for some reason, you could never actually talk to each other.”

For the first time in months, I genuinely laughed and I couldn’t help it. “He makes me nervous! I always feel like he might correct something I say, or tell me that there’s food in my teeth.” 

“You know, now that you mention it, I do remember him saying something about seeing a really big piece of lettuce in your teeth one time.” 

“Diana!” I squealed, pushing the checkerboard at her, pretending to take offense. 

“I really don’t know what you’re so nervous about! I think it would be good if you just talked to him.” 

“It’s, um, it’s not that simple. Not right now, at least.” 

My energy quickly nose-dived and I tried to do my best to hide it from Diana, but it permeated through the rest of the visit. I couldn’t fully enjoy myself after it. 

The team and I all agreed not to let Diana know, especially not with the uncertainty of the case. There was no point riling her up if there was nothing to be worried about. And I could only imagine how I reacted - Diana would be reacting 10 times more hysterically. 

But as much as I hated to say it, I almost would’ve rather been in her position. 

I would give anything to un-know Spencer’s circumstance.

Present Time ...

In this car, there was nowhere for him to run or hide, not like before.

Anytime I so much as entered his gravity by being in the same room, he’d flee the space in the next breath. Granted, he couldn’t really avoid me entirely. We did have to be on the same flight for an extended period of time, but he made that work by letting me choose my spot first, then choosing a spot directly on the opposite side of the jet. 

What a gentleman, huh?

“Kudos to you, by the way. For managing to avoid me for this long. I imagine it’s been as not-easy as it has been incredibly-cowardly.” My words stung as they flowed from my lips as badly as I imagine they seared his already cracked skin. I couldn’t believe that now that I finally had the opportunity to talk to him, I was using it to be petty and passively aggressive. But then again, I could. 

Because after what he put me through, he deserved to feel the full severity of my indignation.

My only wish was that he knew exactly how I had felt when I found out. 

. . .

Icarus. 

He died tragically while using artificial wings, invented by his father, to escape from the Labyrinth. When Icarus flew too close to the sun, it melted the wax that held the wings together, and he fell into the sea.

‘Don’t fly too close to the sun.’ That’s the moral of the story. That’s what Reid was trying to tell me. But I didn’t listen. 

I flew too close. 

I had approached the window with more zeal than this predicament warranted. 

“I’m (y/n) (y/l/n). I’m here to see Spencer Reid, R-E-I-D,” I eagerly spelt his last name with ease as though it were my own last name. 

She’d flipped back and forth between pages, running her index finger up and down the sheet for far too long that it made me worry. Turns out, I had every right to be worried. 

“I don’t see you on the list, ma’am.” 

I was so mindnumbingly dumb that I couldn’t even see how dumb I was being. “Oh no no no, I’m with the FBI. I called earlier and left a message, remember?” 

“Yeah, I remember you,” She smiled politely, giving me the tiniest fragment of hope. “But you’re not on his list.” Only for it to be shattered in an instant. 

I had yet to process or accept this information. “So what does that mean?”

“It means he doesn't wanna see you right now. And frankly, neither do I. Next!” 

“Wait, could you just please check with him? My name is (y/n) -” 

“Ma’am, you are holding up a whole line of people that wanna see their loved ones too, so I suggest you see yourself out before I call security to help see you out.” 

I knew by her tone of the word ‘help’ that meant a prison guard would most likely forcibly remove me from the premises, and the last thing I needed was to feel even more humiliated. 

I got plenty of that when I had to come back to the BAU. 

“You’re not on the list?” Luke seemed genuinely shocked. More so than I was. Above all, I just felt really stupid. 

“I’m sure it was just a mistake.” Stephen reasoned. He was so good at being level-headed. Which normally, I would’ve loved. But right now, it only fueled the fire burning in my chest.

“That’s what I thought at first, too. But later on, she asked him herself, and he said - and I quote, ‘I don’t want to see her. Not now. Not ever.’”

. . .

Those were the words that seared my skin, and he hadn’t even spoken them directly to me to do it. 

The words that did just enough to heal me back to health were, of course, Penelope’s.

“Since you haven’t seen him yet, the rest of us will just wait until you have. It’s only fair that you have your first turn before the rest of us go back for a second time.” 

Back then, it was easy to hold out hope, but the more and more time passed, the more he kept denying my visits. Therefore, the more my hope began to fade. 

It had been weeks since anyone else had seen him before I finally surrendered. Although I had newly-brewing sourness towards Reid, it didn’t feel fair to deny him everyone else’s presence until mine was permitted. 

Luke was the one who volunteered to visit first. And to my dismay, Spencer didn’t fight against it. 

The proof was finally there. Now I could say with absolute certainty: Spencer just didn’t want to see me. 

It was both ironic and utterly frustrating to think about how I’d never gone more than two weeks without seeing him. Even when the BAU got time off after big cases, we’d always spend that time together. The longest we’d spent apart was 12 days. And right when he came back to D.C, we were attached at the hip for the next week, trying to compensate for all that time we were apart. 

Now, look at us. I haven’t said one word to him in half a year. 

If tragedy and comedy could coexist, this would be it. 

“How is he?” I asked Luke as soon as he got back. 

“He’s holding on,” Luke affirmed with confidence. What he said next lacked any of that. “He told me to tell you not to worry about him.” 

Something in me knew it was a lie. “Did he actually say that?”

His lack of an answer was one itself. 

“Did he say anything at all about me?”

“I tried telling him how much you wanted to see him, but he just brushed it off. I’m sorry, (y/n).” 

This became my routine for the months to follow. Every time someone would come back from the prison, I’d ask them if they talked about me, but the answer was always no. After a while, it had gotten to the point where I purposefully started leaving myself out of the loop. At least in that case, it was by my own volition that I was being excluded, not by a predicament being forced on me. 

Not by Spencer. 

“We’re not doing this right now,” Spencer declaration brought me back to the present, where I found him removing himself from both the conversation and the vehicle. When I heard the latch click to open, my hand reflexively flew to my auto-lock to prevent him from leaving. Naturally, he still managed to escape using his door’s button.

If I couldn’t stop him, then I could follow him. 

“Then when will we do this? Huh, Spencer? When? Because anytime I try to talk to you, you run away.” The mere fact that I was speed-walking after him was proof. While he casually strolled down the sidewalk paying me no mind, I tried to be clever and walk down the street so we’d be somewhat side to side. I was tired of staring at his back every time he walked away. I needed to see his face.

For his every stride, I had to take at least three steps. He was gliding through the world so effortlessly as I was trekking my uphill battle. It was quite fitting, though. Further exemplification that, between us, I was fighting harder to preserve the people we used to be, the relationship we used to have. Meanwhile, he couldn’t care less. A stone cold, inconvincible slab of steel. Just like he always was. 

As I began to speak, I had to also be conscious of the parked cars along the curb, being careful to weave in and out. 

“For months, you have blatantly ignored me. The entire time you were in prison, you denied my visits. And it’s not like it was a one time thing. I tried to visit you over 100 times while you were in jail! 100 times I got rejected. 100 times I got turned away. 100 times my heart shattered.” 

By now, I was speaking so loudly that I could see household lights within neighboring homes turning on. I hadn’t even realized how far we’d walked down the street and away from our car, but it was the last thing on my mind. 

“Then after you were released, it’s like I never even existed. I had to find out that you were out of there a week later than everyone else because they all assumed you came to me yourself to tell me the good news,” I laughed wryly at my own stupidity. “Do you know how hard it was for me?” 

“Do you know how hard it was for me?” 

It took me a second to register that he was actually engaging with me in this conversation now. But when I looked at his expression, I could see that something within him had snapped. A little piece of me was glad, though. Now I knew for sure that there was some effect I had on him. 

“Hard for you?”

“I know you came to visit me 100 times! Want to know how I know? Because I was there, too! I was there every time a guard came to ask if I wanted to see you. I was there every time I turned you away. And while you got to walk out of those doors every time I did, I was stuck in there, rotting in that cell, thinking about how badly I wanted to see you. How badly I wanted to touch ...” His voice faltered. “To touch you. But I had to protect you!” 

“You do realize in protecting me, you were hurting me in the process.” 

“Because you just don’t know when to leave well enough alone!” His hands tugged at the root of his unruly hair like evidence of the frustration that my stubbornness caused. “You’re such a pain in the ass because you can never cooperate! It’s gotta be your way or no one else’s! ‘Spencer, it has to be this way because I said so. Spencer, you have to let me see you because I said so. Spencer, you have to talk to me because I said so. Spencer, you have to ride this stupid roller coaster because I said so,’” His imitation of my nagging voice would’ve made me laugh before. Now, it was bringing me onto the verge of tears. “Since clearly no one’s told you this before - not everything is about you! You just want it to be because you’re a whiny, little brat! You’re so spoiled rotten that you can’t even see how far down it goes. If you did, you’d know that you’re rotten to the core and that nothing will ever satisfy you. Especially me.”

His words had done more than sear me. They pierced me. They ripped me. They destroyed me. When he called me Brat, I thought it was endearing. Now, looking back, I realize - no, that’s just how little he thought of me. 

As I came to the conclusion, I stopped dead in my tracks on the pavement. 

I was done chasing Spencer.

His face had fallen from its anger, indicating he was apologetic, but I was beyond accepting his sorry excuses anymore. I couldn’t stand to look at him so I looked behind me to find our car at least a football field away. I guess in many ways, I’d gone the whole nine yards. 

“This is what you wanted right?” I turned back to him momentarily. My voice scared me how calm it was because, inside, I was boiling with rage. “Well, here you go, Spence. Have all the fucking space you want.” 

It was usually me watching his back while he walked away, and now, he was watching mine. 

“(Y/n), wait!” 

And for the briefest second, it actually felt good to be the first one to leave. 

I was free. 

_ _ _

To my dismay and relief, when I walked into work the next morning, he wasn’t there. I would’ve looked for him with more than a cursory glance except I was stuck on looking at something strange in the bullpen that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. But as I walked further in, a blaring siren went off in my head. 

Spencer’s desk is completely empty. 

I instantly sorted through my purse for my phone to reach Prentiss when I noticed something more. 

I had been desperate to cling onto any notion that he still loved me, and there it was, just sitting on his desk. Proof that the man I loved was still in there somewhere.

The top three pictures from the carnival photo booth.

I laughed, as I always did, thinking about how much we had to exert ourselves to be positioned in a semi-adequate way. In the next wave, I felt profoundly empty. He had kept the pictures all these years, and now that I finally get to see them, he’s left me.

As I brought my hand to my face to clear the tears pooling at my lower lashes, I saw that my finger had an ink smear on the pad of it. There was nowhere else I could’ve obtained it except for if there was writing on the back of the photos. 

What I read when I turned it over was as follows. 

I want to be this guy for you again, (y/n). I just don’t know how. 

I just don’t know if I can.

No matter how much I’ve changed, one thing’s still the same.

I love you. 

I should’ve focused on the message, but all that I could focus on was that if I managed to smear the ink, that meant it was fresh, written just now. 

He was still here. 

I pocketed the photos and abandoned my purse, only carrying with me the phone that I forgot to use to dial Prentiss. After a moment’s indecision, I figured that taking the stairs would be faster than the elevator, and I bounded down the steps without hesitation. 

“Spencer!” I yelled into the parking structure when I reached the ground floor. The sound of me bursting through the door caught the attention of Anderson, who was getting out of his car. 

“I just saw him leave.” Anderson threw his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the exit. I knew, even in my state of mind, there was no feasible reality where I could reach him on foot. I had to call him. 

I pleaded to myself for him to pick up with every ring of my phone. 

“(Y/n),” He said like a statement instead of a question. Again, he’d anticipated I’d do this. He probably picked it up not even having to look at the caller ID but knowing it was me and no one else. 

“I don’t need you to be the guy you were before, Spencer. I just need you to bend a little bit. I know we’re both stubborn people, but if we can just find a halfway point-”

“(Y/n), (y/n),” He was settling me and the sentences that were coming out of my mouth at 100 mph. 

“I’ll bend if you bend.” I promised. 

The static of the call filled my ears until his voice finally did.

“For everyone else, I bend ... for you, I break.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

I don’t often reply to comments/ reblogs, so if you’d like me to respond, tell me your thoughts on this piece or any others here!

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[blue-pastel-cat]

Xiaobedo Fanfic Recommendation

Welcome to my personal “if you are new to xiaobedo peeps please read these” list. As said before this is my personal list so please feel free to reblog/comment/hit me for not including any gem here. I might miss a lot of them because I am drunk or blind. (mostly have them on my to read and then forgot as I am being assault by real life shit).

I would like to say first that so far there are 150+ Xiaobedo fics on Ao3. I can’t review all of them but I can say that I have read a majority of them. Most of them are just pure love and I would like nothing more than a thousands thank you for all the fic writers who spent their free time writting these gems for us to read for free. But these...these takes the cake as it finds a special landing spot in my heart that I would just thrust them into someone’s hand if they say “I am new to this ship can you recommend me?”

1. Orange dust by bobamilkteas (Wes)

In which Xiao learns to open himself up to the world a little more after the collapse of Rex lapis's contracts but it was not always easy for a soul doomed to eternal damnation. Meanwhile, Albedo liked to tempt fate where the extraordinary are concerned.

If only the traveler's comrades are made of saner bunch.

Comment: Long ago when I like both Albedo and Xiao as a character, I was wondering hmmm....will anyone actually even write about them lmao they never met each other. I am surprise to see this one as the 3rd fic in the whole 3 Xiaobedo fic on Ao3 (yeah back when there’s literally only 3 fic for this couple). I was like I’ll read it for the curiosity, I’ll probably won’t ship them. And that people is how I put my clown make up on my face upon finishing reading it. This ONE fic alone convert me into a devotee of Xiaobedo. Please consider joining me in this circus if you want to know what is Xiaobedo. I would put this as the first of my “Big 3″

Orange Dust also come with its compliation of short stories over the course of the game and a big sequel to it. Please also consider reading ALL OF THEM.

2. Solar Wind by birdpriestess (Sparrow)

For the yaksha, his duty was his life, and his life was his duty. No human could ever hope to understand the eternal war he fought out of sight and in silence.

So why, then, did he feel that Albedo would understand?

---

Finding himself at death's door once more, Xiao is saved by a surprising person, setting off the unlikeliest of adventures.

Comment: Do you like crying? Do you like the feeling of getting your heart ripped into pieces as the author destroy your emotions over the end of each chapter as the story picked up the climax? Yeah, this one is for you masochists. The action, the characterisation, the drama THE EMOTIONS OH WOW. I kid you not that it was so good I read this while workinng when I am not suppose to me. Also, this fic has my favourite characterisation of Gold ever. I love that dramatic queen Mad Alchemist. AND DAIN. I LOVE DAIN IN THIS FIC. Our dearest Sparrow manage to toy with our feelings like how I bully ruin guard for big numbers lmao. This is the secound of “Big 3″ of my Xiaobedo list.

Again, just like Orange Dust, Solar Wind comes with its own compliation of short stories of what came after that. Please also consider reading ALL OF THEM.

3. Castle of Glass by AlchemicalStardust (Morgie) 

A black shadow rises over Huaguang Stone Forest. Caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, Albedo flees the shaking ground and the crash of boulders tumbling form the sky. As the dust settles, Albedo finds a young man – an Adeptus – amidst the carnage. Despite the karmic agony ripping his body from the inside, Xiao’s only question is “How?” How did a human survive after witnessing his battle?

Comment: The last of the “Big 3″ of my Xiaobedo list. And it is still on going! Castle of Glass? More like I AM IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTIONS! Have you read a fic about 2 people yearning, longing, reaching out for each other so damn well that you just want to throw your phone in the air as they both had their impending doom coming down upon them? Yeah this is one of them. You will like want to be stuck in the moment they express how much they just yearn for each other’s love and care that you want to shake the author for what comes next. Like...everytime Morgie update I am expressing my gratitude at the end of the chapter by writing on Xiaobedo discord “MORGIE COME HERE AND LET ME BONK YOU WHY ARE YOU ENDING IT THERE”

trust me when you read you will def feel the same. With just Big 3 and their compliation alone that would give you like a LONG list of reading already LMAOOOOOOO

4. Find a place to call it home  by yamajiroo 

Our room, he said. Xiao’s brow twitches. Zhongli never said anything about this. But then again, perhaps he should anticipate this from the beginning...

Xiao looks over at Albedo, who is now tilting his head, his look as innocent as ever.

“Are you not okay with sharing a room?”

Comment: College AU for Xiaobedo! One thing that I love this is the slow burn and what made me LOVE LOVE LOVE this fic more is how cute Klee is in this fic. Their relationship in this one is very simple, but that simplicity highlight why their chemistry work. Xiao is someone who was just very gentle, who was largely misunderstood by his lonesome nature. Albedo was someone who like peace and quite in his introvert bubble. And how they respect that bubble that each other has actually made their relationship work. I love it when fic highlight this and this one captures it.

5. I Can't See Your Face From the Other Side of the Classroom by MissWeaver  

When Albedo and Xiao unexpectedly start eating lunch together, they begin to find that they have more in common than anyone would have realized. They both struggle in their own ways with blossoming feelings, too many assignments, and annoying classmates as they navigate a relationship for the first time.

Comment: I’ll be honest, I usually hate high school au just because its so cliche. I don’t even watch and drama/anime surrounds high school student anymore LMAOOO (unless it’s very good). So if there’s an high school AU that I actually keep come back and read after a couple of chapters, it means that the cliche that I hate wasn’t there or barely was there at all. The pinning in this fic makes me want to bang their head together sometimes LMAOOO The tag wasn’t kidding when they said both Xiao and Albedo are bad at feelings. Also that’s a lot of heart broken caused by these two idiots XD

6. new world, same me, same bullshit  by  bobamilkteas (Wes)

At the belly of Dragonspine, Albedo lost control to the festering corruption that permeated his senses and watched, from the recesses of his mind, as his devoured body turned his allies into enemies. Before his rampage reached its climax, he is sealed in a crystalized confinement by the last hand of Reindottir, where he then reawakens centuries after, in a rebooted Teyvat.

Comment: Yeah I know it was list in Orange Dust but here me out. This sets out in an entirely different universe. And if you like Polyamory, this one has Zhongli joining the duo and I love it because I also love ZhongXiao with my life. Time Travel is my biggest kink. Especially when I am the person who love it when people explore Archon War era/ Alatus!Xiao. So this one hits double of my kink. Of course it is still on going and I will bully Wes whenever I can to see that new chapter. Albedo is a total fucking badass in this story and I completely agree from using him in Abyss so often. Everyone should write badass Albedo.

7. misplaced heart of mine by  inkburn           

“If you are ill, then you should be resting at home. In Mondstadt.” He emphasized Mondstadt with a pointed look in his direction.

“I assure you I won’t be troublesome, Adeptus Xiao,” Albedo said, “You’ll find I’m a rather low-maintenance traveler.”

“Travel,” Xiao scoffed, “without airstep?”

Albedo looked him up and down. “Are your legs just for decoration?”

(albedo is sent to liyue on mandatory vacation. xiao is his unfortunate bodyguard.)

Comment: Most of the time you will see Albedo and Xiao starting their relationship with one of them taking interest in another. But this one took another approach, they starting off by make them hating each other’s guts LMAOOOO and I live for every second of it. There’s only 1 chapter so far but wow it was SOOO GOOD. I am really really excited for next chapter and is waiting patiently ;w;

8.  Blossom of Grace  by birdpriestess  

One day in Liyue Harbor, Albedo watches a street performance by an enigmatic dancer named Xiao. And he becomes completely obsessed.

Comment: Have you ever look at Xiao fight and thinking that he’s one of the most beautiful deadly thing ever? How it was like he was dancing around the battlefield? How about actual dancer Xiao being so absolutely beautiful and perfect and that slow burn of Albedo falling in love with that beauty with a touch of Modern AU and cute Ganyu as the Wing woman. Yes, Sparrow delivers yet again another beautiful slow burn and while it’s still ongoing it is worth the read.

9. i think we could make this work (could get used to this) by outspaced               

“Xiao? What are you doing out here?”

“I—”

“It’s raining,” Albedo says, as if it isn’t obvious. “You could get struck by lightning.”

“What are you doing out here then?” Xiao does the only thing he knows how to do, he challenges Albedo. “It’s raining.”

Albedo just hums. “If I get struck by lightning, it’s for science.”

Comment: A short one-shot where I read the summary and went “This is it... this is their relationship.” I am sold immediately. Oh god Albedo why are you like this.

10. Ephemeral by criedprinz        

“It’s not for your investigation, is it?” Aether asked mildly.

Albedo traced a finger around the sketchbook, considering the question. “No,” he admitted finally. “I... I just want to see them again.”

He opened the sketchbook to reveal the drawing he’d just finished. Aether nodded, clearly recognizing the sharp golden eyes.

“Xiao,” he said. “You were rescued by an adeptus.”

When a visit to Dragonspine goes horribly wrong, Albedo is rescued by an unknown stranger, wielding powers he's never heard of. Led on a search to find out who it is, he finds himself in the middle of an unforgettable encounter..

Comment: A really really well written one-shot that I love. The yearning oh godddd the yearning from Albedo side is just so so much that I have to put it here. (I think you can see the trend here lmao. I am a sucker for yearning). And the moment they get to meet each other again is just chef kiss. MWHAA

11. Idle Yaksha, Brilliant Yaksha by Pit0fTheEarth

Alatus didn’t have a lot of responsibilities to keep. He spent most of his days dancing across the sky and eating away all nightmares that plagued a person’s sleep.

But one fortunate encounter led to too many unfortunate ones, taking his carefree existence and plunging it in darkness. His wings, stripped from him. His gentle touch, replaced by an unforgiving grip of destruction.

There was a lot of blood on his hands. With each passing moment, it became harder for Alatus to recall the last time someone gently held him.

Comment: This is one of the ongoing fic where I am very very much excited on the take of Naberius. And the way the author portray Xiao when he’s still the innocent Alatus is just *clench fist*. Baby ;w; Baby why do you have to lose all that innocence. Also the fic has long LONG flashback to Xiao past and his relationship with Naberius. We are unwielding more what happened to both of them and why perhaps does this have to do with Albedo.

That’s it for now, might add more later! Thank you <3

[pupandangelscoffee]

SWEET LIKE SUGAR, DANGEROUS LIKE SNAKES

Eddie Diaz x Evan Buckley x Reader

Genre: Action, Fluff, Angst

Warnings: alcohol, mentions of drugs, mentions of being shot, mentions of being attacked, jumping out of window (no death), mentions of deaths in the past, inappropriate language

Synopsis: When Buck and Eddie agreed to do an undercover job for Athena, they didnt expect to meet someone like you

Wordcount: 2387

Taglist: @enterprise-medical

When Athena had come to Bobby with the request to allow two of his firefighters go undercover to a rather inclusive underground dance club, he had been against the idea. For one, he didn’t want to put Eddie or Buck in danger, but most importantly, he knew how reckless those two could be and he didn’t want them to risk being caught up in anything more dangerous than their everyday work. But after some persuading from both his wife and the two men in question, he had given in.

That is exactly why they are now standing in the door of your dance studio, eyes following your every move as you lead the group choreo, believing that you had yet to take notice of them and Athena. However, when you send them a smile through the mirror, Buck feels his breath get stuck in his throat. Eddie chuckles between his friend, feeling how the other stopped breathing for a moment while Athena shoots the young male a quick glare. “Remember, Buck, this mission is extremely important. Do not compromise it by sticking your slong where it does not belong,” she hisses as you finish up the dance and make your way over to them. “So, these two are the ones I am supposed to take with me?” You ask with a rather hushed voice, looking them over before raising a brow at Athena. “Listen, Athena, I respect you but with those clothes, they will stick out like a pink elephant in a black room.” You state blankly, earning an offended scoff from the two men and a small chuckle from Athena. Before any of the three could even reply, another girl walks up behind you and wraps her arm around your waist. “Hey babe, who are these two flamingos?” She asked, studying the men from head to toe before chuckling at their appearance. “Did you pick them up at the circus?” She added, making you giggle and shake your head before retorting “nah, I found them outside the clown school. Apparently, they got kicked out for looking too much like a giraffe that drank too much paint.” While the two men look incredibly offended at your comments, Athena tried to bite back her laughter. “Do we have to work with them? They are mean.” Buck whines softly, looking at Athena like a puppy that was just kicked.

Shaking your head a bit, you turn to look at your friend. ��Okay, Marie, you will help these two gentlemen find some new clothes, okay? Afterwards Marcel and I will see how well they can dance and help them learn some moves, so they won’t stick out like a wedding dress at a funeral at the party tonight.” You instruct her, earning a small nod before she rushes off, dragging the two dumbfounded men along. “You will take good care of them, right? Otherwise I may lose my husband, they are like sons to him.” Athena explains causing you to nod with a soft smile playing on your lips. “Don’t worry, Athena. I will watch over them like my life depends on them. I just hope that Travis won’t figure out what we are trying to do. I would prefer not getting shot again.” You state before sending her off with a wave.

An hour later, Marie returns with Eddie and Buck, both looking more like they would belong to your scene than being model citizens. At this point, you had discarded your shirt and Buck had to do everything in his willpower not to stare at your chest. “We are back, and they finally don’t look like tropical birds in a crowd of crows.” Marie informs you, smiling at you through the mirror before grabbing her bag and waving goodbye to you, rushing out of the practice room. Turning to the men, you introduce them to Marcel before instructing them to show you some of their dance moves. To your surprise, Eddie was rather good at an assortment of dance styles, whether it was just basic salsa or some sort of break dancing, he was doing well enough that you didn’t have to fear for him to stick out unnecessarily. Buck, however, well he was a completely different story. You wouldn’t say he couldn’t dance, he could, but The Sprinkler and The Carlton would not be received well in any club, especially not one as exclusive as the one you were planning to take them tonight. While you managed not to burst out laughing, Marcel was on the ground, crying from the laughter that was ripping through his body. “Please, please do not do that when we are out tonight.” You beg gently, trying to not let the laughter get out that you were trying to keep down, eyes flicking over to Eddie, who is very amused by his friend’s interesting dance style.

You end up taking some mercy on the poor man, stepping closer to him, and placing his hands on your waist. “Just follow my lead, darling.” You say softly right as the music starts before starting to lead him, giving him a gentle smile as he stumbles a few times. After a few hours of showing him random dance moves that would be acceptable in the club, you hum in succeed. “Great, imma go shower and then we can head out.” You state before grabbing your bag before heading to the shower.

The smell of sweat and alcohol are the first things that hit Eddie and Buck when they finally get to enter the club. You had introduced Eddie as your boyfriend and Buck as your friend from a few states over to get them access to the club and Buck would be lying if he said he didn’t feel his heart sting when you introduced Eddie as your boyfriend instead of him. Weaseling your way through all the bodies, you lead the two boys over to the table where your friends are sitting and to sell the illusion of dating Eddie, you sit down on his lap. Buck quickly averts his eyes as he feels jealousy raise in him, though it dies down as soon as the waitress brings over a tray of shots. Quickly, all of you grab one and down it before your friends stand up as your group’s name gets called out by another group of people. Frowning a bit, you get up as well, whispering a threatening “stay here or I will make sure neither of you have sex ever again” to the two men before following your group to the middle of the dance floor. Of course, the one night you bring in firefighters to a club that has seen more deaths than necessary, is the night your group gets challenged to a dance battle. You figure that they must be new around the club, because your group had a reputation build up about how you didn’t come to play. “Basic rules, whoever gets the loudest cheers gets to stay, the losers leave.” You state, smiling at what you assume the leader to be as you reach your hand out for a handshake. Your opponent nods and takes your hand, shaking it before both of you resume to your positions in your groups.

Meanwhile, Buck and Eddie both stood up, trying to see exactly what was happening. Buck is the first of the duo to end up climbing onto the table to get a better view, becoming completely entranced as he watches your group – especially you – start to dance. Holding his breath, he watches as the crowd goes wild for your group after the battle is over, only releasing the breath once you are back safely at your table and on Eddie’s lap. Eddie quickly wraps his arm around your waist, smiling and pressing a gentle kiss to your sweaty shoulder, clearly enjoying the fact that he got to play your boyfriend for the night.

Both of the men nearly forgot why they were with you and your group of friends in the first place, having a wonderful time and probably a bit more alcohol as they initially planned, though making sure that they were sober in case anything happened. And sure enough, after dancing, drinking, and talking for nearly two hours, three rather big men came up to you three. “Travis wishes to see you.” One of them states, motioning for you three to follow them, which you do. Once you enter the room where Travis is waiting, the bodyguards leave as Travis waves them off. “I see you brought some new friends, Y/N and you didn’t even bother introducing them to me. That is rather rude, ya know?” Travis states as he pulls out a clear bag of some white pills. “Why don’t we show them what real fun is?” he adds, mistaking your smirk for an agreement though quickly frowning as you take a picture of him holding out the pills. “You see, Travis, I don’t think the police would be very happy if I allowed their men to take some of your shit.” You state with a hum as you walk over to him and pat his cheek while Eddie takes out the handcuffs that he had hidden in his pocket. However, before he could get close enough to arrest Travis, the man dropped the bag and ran off. Sighing a bit, you take your heels off before chasing after him, knowing the club like the back of your hand.

A small scream, courtesy of Buck, could be heard when you jump out of the second story window, as he fears. Though when Eddie starts laughing while looking out of the window, he slowly walks closer and the scene in front of him was rather amusing. Not only were you absolutely fine, but you had also managed to catch a very bewildered looking Travis, who did not understand how you were able to cut him off and pin him against the metal fence, since he had been so far ahead. “Oh, this is Julie,” you whisper before slamming his head against the fence again before looking up at the boys. “Are you gonna come arrest him or do you want to continue playing pretty creepy dolls?” You yell up to them, causing the two to spring into action.

Soon enough, Athena shows up and takes Travis off your hands, not even questioning why he has a cut on his face. “He deserved it.” You state with a shrug before turning to Eddie and Buck to thank them and wish them a goodnight. “So, you think we are pretty, huh?” Buck teases before you can even say a word, causing you to giggle. “I said pretty creepy if I remember correctly, but whatever helps you sleep at night, Evan.” You reply before giving him and Eddie each a soft hug and a kiss on the cheek before grabbing your heels and walking off into the night.

It has been a few weeks since the boys last saw you and even if they didn’t want to admit it, they actually missed you. So much actually, that they drove past the place that you took them to, only to find it completely abandoned. Through a stranger, they found out that after Travis was arrested, the whole place fell apart and people just stopped showing up.

So, the surprise was real, when they hear your voice after coming back from a call. Racing up the stairs, they find you and Chris dancing with one another. “Well, what is going on here?” Eddie asks, immediately regretting that his voice came out a little more on the hostile side, but it was his father instinct kicking in as soon as he saw Chris standing without his crutches and only holding onto you. “Well hello to you too, Edmundo.” You state, quickly handing Chris his crutches before grinning and leaning down to his eyelevel. “You wanna show your dad what you learned?” You ask softly, getting an eager nod in return. So you step back and turn on the song that Chris had requested, watching Chris take the “stage” and showing off the dance moves that you had managed to teach him while the 118 was at the call. Meanwhile, the whole team joined you, all of them watching the young boy enjoy himself. “You have a very cute and sweet son.” You whisper to Eddie before walking over to the kitchen to grab two bottles of water, one for you and one for the young boy. “Dad, what do you think of my moves?” Chris asks innocently as he sips from the water bottle that you hand to him opened already, allowing you to pick him up and set him on the couch besides his father. “They were really good.” Eddie smiles, looking at you in amazement before ruffling Chris’s hair. “What are you even doing here?” Buck asks you, the smile on your face faltering. “Athena said it would be the safest if I change back to being a paramedic instead of a dance instructor, especially since I was attacked twice last week.” You add the last part in a whisper, not wanting the kid to hear.

Though you couldn’t help but giggle at the shocked faces of everyone except Bobby, who had been informed by Athena that you would be joining his team, because somehow none of them expected you to be a paramedic. “I finished the training 3 years ago, right after High School. However, I preferred dancing and it paid very well, so I never actually went to the firehouse.” You explain quickly before Bobby added “they will be joining us starting next week”. Huge smiles break out on Buck’s and Eddie’s face as they realize that this means they get to spend more time with you, almost like their wishful thinking has actually worked. A definite bonus was that Chris also seemed to really like you, so perhaps they could make things work.

But with your past? Would it come haunt them as well? Would it bring any of them into danger? Would it put Chris in the line of danger? Could they actually win your heart though? Only the future can tell, but the two men hope that their future is with you by their side.

[dramaticnerdwithanxiety11]

Here have the obnoxious list of quotes of have because i think they're very neat (these come from all over the place ranging from fanfiction, to google to my own fingies)

Also it's funny that I can see with complete clarity where I started getting into new fandoms because I started collecting new quotes relating to them.

(i promise they get less angsty 😭 these are a year and a half in the works)

I've got too many tabs open in my brain, and it's too laggy to close any.

I think i'll just collapse right here, thanks!

All I wanted was for you to leave. But I didn't think you actually would..

You're just like a bomb going off right next to my head..

Why do I have to cram all of my thoughts together just to be heard?

I wish your silence didn't scare me so much..

My body looks like a poorly drawn anatomy lesson, or a bunch of mismatched pieces sewn together.

Why did I have to grow up afraid to admit i'm scared?

What a stupid way to die.

An immortal man with a death wish, how fucking ironic.

Why did we have to turn into such an ugly sight?

I can't tell you why, but it feels like something's wrong.

What would my mother think, now that she's watched her son be buried?

What would you think of me, an immortal man with a death wish?

They are the stars and the moon to my empty sky.

Dreams are like… jigsaw puzzles, assembled wrong.

Are you, or the others, crazy?

How do you paint a pretty picture when your brush is broken?

Is it only in movies that it's black and white?

Sometimes the worst place you can be in is your own head.

Alone. Because everyone will inevitably leave him.

Because I know what it's like to be afraid of your own mind.

I came face to face with a version of "me" that was nothing like myself.

The present is all we get, so we need to make it work.

We're just kids. We aren't supposed to be heroes.

It's all a bit tragic, isn't it?

She is a child that was forced to grow up.

I stopped being a kid the day you sent me down here to die.

Are monsters born, or created?

We'll never be those kids again.

Dear Death, I'm ready.

I needed a hug, but all they gave me was a box of matches and a knife.

I'm that memory you don't remember.

My mind is blessed with madness, and cursed with the knowledge that’s it’s there.

My eyes burn with unshed tears and suddenly I wish it didn't hurt so much to cry.

I don’t know what's happening but that's okay

We were thin but we were thick as thieves

I will not be another flower, picked for my beauty and left to die.

Even white roses have black shadows.

To plant a garden, is to believe in tomorrow.

In an endless garden of Flowers I will always pick You.

My Garden of Roses is wilting, because i spent too much time watering yours..

If i had a flower for every time i thought of you, i could walk through my garden forever.

Are you sure it isn't the Thorns that have Roses..?

Laughter after Tears is is the human equivalent of a Rainbow

I THINK I'M OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW I AINT SHIT.

I heard everything. It was just easier to pretend I didn't.

Remember how bright our first days were?

I miss not knowing who you were, because at least you couldn't hurt me so much without more than a word.

I'm dying slow and I can't stop it.

I really am my fathers child, aren't I?

If I dont go to hell when I die i might go heaven- but probably not.

If this is how you folks make art, it's fucking depressing.

I'm sorry mom and dad, I know I fucked up bad. I should've done better.

You entered the circus, boy, now play like the clowns.

The intimacy of being understood

However fair is for fools, take them away!

Life is a party and I'm starting to think I'm the piñata

I can't telling if I'm dying or not, all I know is I can't breathe.

Sometimes the shortest stick is the sharpest.

You don't hate me because i'm crazy, you hate me because i'm right.

I might be the writer, but you will always be the words.

I'm sending an old friend good luck, through a wishing well of magic.

Karma's probably fake, unless you meet someone who Really believes in it, cause they'll make it happen.

Does it count as being after dark, if the streetlights are on and nobody is looking for you?

Memory lane is not a Well-Mainted Public Road, it's a backroad lined with burning trees.

Sometimes you have to become a monster to stay human

"To be fair I have no intentions of murdering someone then popping a cyanide pill to escape the consequences,"

"You don't pump blood, I would know, I've had my hands in your heart before. Also, you're a terrible liar,"

Just killed a woman, feelin good~

"Fashionless wonder? He won't be saying that when I throttle him with my bowtie.."

"Handfull of BEES?"

"3am is the bitching hour, prove me wrong,"

"He's perfect, we made a baby!" "Team effort," "Go team!"

"Welcome to fucking Applebees do you want the apples or bees?" "Bees..?" "THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES!"

Welcome to the nightmare inside my head~

The point is; Frogs are bitches and ~we~ do not associate with terrorists

I'M STILL HEADING DOWNHILL, BUT I FOUND A HORSE IN THE SAME PREDICAMENT. SO LIKE, COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

Characters are their own beings. I just write up their incident reports.

"Don't go chasing waterfalls. Stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to,"

"Drop dead," "Low blow..."

"I would like to apologize... that you, are depriving some village of their IDIOT!"

"Dad, could you stop playing tennis with hitler for just a moment and, yaknow, take a quick call?"

There's a hole in your soul [and something is trying to get out]

I'm exhausted and filled with a longing I don't know how to control.

Longing floods out of me like blood, and I truly haven't learned to properly staunch my wounds.

You're the Hyde to my Jekyll, the Chaos to my Calm. The Hate to my Love, the Lost to my Longing.

I've split myself so far down the middle I'm truly not sure where I end and where I begin.

Sometimes I wonder if joking about not having a soul was ever truly a joke.

I will force feed you a vial of impure salts and then watch as you writhe. Don't test me, kid.

There's something strange, there's something wrong. I see a change, it's like when love dies...

God knows; I am careless; this is the true hour of my death, and what is to follow concerns another than myself.

'If he be Mr. Hyde,' Utterson had thought, 'Then I'll shall be Mr. Seek.'

[herstarburststories]

Important Milestones (Damian Wayne x reader)

✾ Summary: An intimate look through your and Damian's relationship. Requested! It’s been a hot bit since I wrote for Damian, so I hope this one is good!

↼❈⇁

First meeting

Dick was taking Damian to the circus

Add a long conversation and lots of "Yeah, Dami. I'm sure the animals are treated well-- Actually, animals aren't allowed in legal circus anymore. You don't have to worry."

They were watching the show, and Damian couldn’t believe that Grayson was so excited about clowns

Damian excused himself to get some food

Dick asked him to get a hotdog, but Damian will bring him popcorn #beaveg

Thing is, you and Damian arrived the food trunk at the same time

Which leaded to an argument

Y/N: I got here first!

Damian: You are not on the line!

Y/N: Because you almost ran over me!

You two kept going long enough for a worried Dick to show up

How to trust each other

You know when you've never seen a person before, but once you lay your eyes on them, you start seeing their face in every crowd?

That's basically you and Damian

How come you didn't know the idiot from the circus was also the Wayne guy that studied with you?

How he, with Talia and Batman's observation skills, never noticed you walking around Gotham's School and now he always caught a sight of you?

You and Damian quickly fall into a weird routine:

Glare each other during lunch

Rolls your eyes when the others was talking in class

Annoy each other whenever you had the chance

Jon teased him a lot

Talking about Superboy...

He seemed off in the morning and he hadn't showed up for lunch like he always did

Damian decided to look for his best friend

Surprisingly, he found Jon crying in your arms in the middle of the chemistry laboratory

You just looked at Damian and nodded for him to come in

Y/N: His parents had a big fight. I found him here alone and thought I could help. Since you are here, guess I'll go.

Damian: You can stay. I mean, Jon probably could use your emotional assistance.

Damian still finds you annoying (and so do you), but you helped his friend

He trust you... A bit

Recognize your feelings

Damian came to school one day. He is clearly hurt-- he couldn’t even walk straight

Jon remained quiet. He was there when the week's villain throw Damian against a wall as if he was a bag of potatoes

But you don't know about the Robin detail

Besides, you are sort of a trinity with them now

Therefore, you worry

And you ask

And you worry some more

It's been a few weeks since your friendship started. Damian trusts you, he really does, but not enough to tell you

Let's keep in mind that pretty much like Bruce, Damian isn't the best when it comes to expressing his feelings through anything but violence

So, he acts like an idiot

Y/N: Damian, come on. I'm not stupid enough to believe you’d fall hard enough to get yourself hurt like this. Talk to me.

Damian: Stop pushing your need to fix everything on me, Y/N. You are not my mother. Don't waste your worry on me, I don't need it.

You realized you liked him when you felt way more worried than you usually would

But Damian just noticed his cherish for you when you glared at him with evident hurt in your eyes and left the table

He just wanted you back, making silly jokes with Jon and stealing his fries

Kiss me, idiot

Two days

48 hours + 12 minutes since you two fought

A whole weekend

LISTEN, his life was going perfectly well before you came along

Now it seems like you opened a spot that's exactly your fit and put yourself there

Whenever you aren't around, Damian feels this weird sensation of missing

Jon convinces him into talking to you

As soon as he sees you in school, he does

Apologize becomes another argument (surprise, surprise)

Damian: Why do you care so much?!

Y/N: Because I like you, idiot!

Damian: You, you like me? As in--

Then you kiss him

Because, let's be clear, you'd end up kissing or punching him

Finding out he's Robin

It's the most stupid way possible

Like, for real

Last night, his Robin's duties kept Damian up until 5am

Instead of leaving his clothes inside the Batcave as usual, he just crumbled to his bed

The sun arrived and so did you

School project

While Damian was out to grab some books, you were studying his room

A picture of him and Jon. Some papers with Arabian words. A dog's bed. Robin suit. A sword

Wait, come back

A. Robin. Suit.

Damian Wayne was many things, but cosplayer certainly wasn't on the list

The pieces glued together fast

A rich family would make sense: Batman and Robin's instruments never looked cheap. Four Robins existed among the years, and Damian had 3 brothers. Not to mention that he'd show up with random scratches and never explain what happened. He was good with swords, and the current Robin had been seen with them a lot of times. Besides, Damian Wayne would never wear a costume willingly, much less keep one in his room

He walks inside the room to see you wearing his cape and mask

Y/N: Guess I'm robin' your persona, huh? Wanna tell me something?

Meeting the family

You come from a big family

Good thing because anybody else would be scared if they were in your shoes

MESS, MESS, MESS

Dick is smiling like a crazy all the time, and making dad jokes

Tim is teasing Damian by asking you to blink twice if you need saving

Jason is directly fighting Damian and calling him devil spawn

Bruce is quietly watching everyone with a subtle smile on his lips. He asks you a few questions, and occasionally asks the boys to behave before answering his phone and excusing himself

Babs, Steph and Cassandra come in later

Now the teasing is divided between you and Damian and Steph and Tim

You tease them a lot, blushing Tim is adorable

You are wearing purple boots, and Steph already loves you for that

Dick tells Babara about you being aware of the family secret

She offered to train you for some self-defense

YOU ACCEPTED, DUH. SHE IS THE BATGIRL!!

Cass is more quiet, but very friendly

Alfred was the first batfam member that you'd met, though (also your fav)

You try (key word being try) to help him in the kitchen

Batcow became your best friend, sorry Jon

You met the Titan family as well

Now you had munition to tease Dick as much as he teased you and Damian

Thank you, Kory

Also, Kor is a real life alien princess, how cool is that!?

Beast Boy is the funniest guy -- and now you are pretty sure you became a vegetarian because you can't eat animals after seeing his transformation

Raven reminds you of Cass

Donna is so powerful, and she knows so many languages!

You get along with his two families

Although Damian rolls his eyes a lot during y'all interaction, he is really happy

First kid

You and Damian are in university when it happens

You both know it's a big step

There's no turning back, you two will always be connected

Damian and you are now responsible, parents

Of the cutest bunny!

Yep, you insisted on naming him Robin

The first kid you both adopted together

Get on your knees for me

Damian isn't much of a romantic

You don't really mind

But when he proposes, it's the sweetest thing

You two had ordered some veggie food to celebrate the end of your finals

Finally a break!

Damian was holding you on the couch as you both watched one of your favorite movies when Robin, the bunny showed up

Y/N: Batbunny, just because we have vegan food, it doesn't mean you can get some. Go eat your lettuce.

Damian: Beloved, maybe you should see what he brought for you.

The bunny had a necklace wrapped around him!!

And the said necklace was attached to a ring!!

A FUCKING DIAMOND!?

Extra of love:

You became a vigilant for a bit before deciding how you truly wanted to help people

Besides charity, you became a lawyer specialized in cases of racism and immigration

Your and Damian's wedding was a mix of your culture and his

Comment/Reblog if you liked it, feedback is magic! Wanna see more? Check my Masterlist! How about get tagged on my batboys or just Damian works? Ask me or add yourself to my taglist!

[randomly-a-fan]

Space Clown Baby Sitter (Interview) Pt. 2

After a short while from taking a break, Pennywise is back on finding the right sitter for Archie. With Aquarius who is holding Archie in her arms lovingly.

A good thing too, because some of the clowns he brought in gave Archie a bad feeling. 

Like for example...

Stitches and the rest of the gang

When they looked down on Archie, he made a nervous look and squirted nurse-milk with his baby bottle and made them back away. “Archie, that’s not very nice...” Pennywise laughed. “Sorry about that fellas, he’s never been like this before...” But as Pennywise turned to face them, they already left. “I guess they don’t want the messy job... Honestly, they wouldn’t be right for the job anyway.” Aquarius honestly said. “You have a point, love... Let’s bring in our next clown.” Pennywise suggested.

Twisty the Clown

When he first came in, he flattered Aquarius with a bouquet of flowers and made her blush. Then he looked down on Archie who was being held by his mom, he gave Archie a porcelain doll as a temptation. 

Pennywise can tell that Twisty was only doing that to get the job easier, but his mind is on his son. “Alright Twisty... You flattered my family, now can we get over with the interview?” Pennywise asked. Twisty didn’t respond, he took out the Juggling Clubs as to make Pennywise think that he’s going to preform; really he just want to knock him out. “Twisty this is an interview for Archie’s baby sitter, not a circus.” Pennywise informed. As Twisty was about to wrack him in the head, Archie threw the porcelain doll hard at Twisty and knocked him out. It’s almost as if Archie knew that Twisty was bad news. “I was afraid that Twisty would attempt to wrack me... Good thing our son was here.” Pennywise said as he was going to ditch ‘twisty’ minded clown.

Killer Klowns (Fatso, Chubby, Shorty, Rudy, Spikey, etc.)

Pennywise recognized these clowns from another planet; they were his pin-pals, so they might be good baby sitters. The only problem is... they can’t talk, and they go out a lot at night. “It’s great seeing you guys again since about so many millennials, but if you clowns can’t socialize with my boy... I don’t know how it’s gonna work out... Sorry if you have to come all the way here to be ditched out.” Pennywise honestly said. The Killer Klowns just shrug it off and went out to the Circus that came to town... For their... Clown Deeds.

Art the Clown

Aquarius finds Art the Clown a bit off to her taste, but she’s not going to judge. Pennywise however is not too satisfied with the fact that he’s a mute; seriously, why are a lot of demon clowns a mute? “Art, it’s nice to see that you want to participate into being my son’s demon clown baby sitter, but I’m not sure how it’s going to work with you not very sociable...” Pennywise honestly pointed out. 

Art wasn’t paying attention, he was admiring the baby, how cute he looked, he wanted to hold him; however, Aquarius can’t trust anybody with her baby, not to mention that Archie is not comfortable with him. Archie started crying as he’s terrified by Art when he was approaching him. 

Aquarius made a ferocious demon cat roar at Art for laying a hand on her treasure son.

Art flinched and decided to not try to get the job, knowing how vicious Aquarius can be. “My wife was like that most nights whenever her and I get busy if you know what I mean.” Pennywise chuckled. “But seriously, you have to leave.” Pennywise added sternly.

Ronald McDonald

“Oh Hell no! NEXT” Pennywise shouted.

The Joker (Heath Ledger)

Pennywise just glared at The Joker because he never invited him for the interview. “Joker... I appreciate you wanted to apply as my son’s baby sitter, but--” “Whoa there crack-head, I’m not here for the job; you actually think I have the experience with a living child? no, I’m here because of your puddin’...” Joker cut off. “Star?” Pennywise asked in confusion. “She wanted an autograph from me on her skin, so I’m going to sign ‘on’ her with a pencil that I used for preforming a magic trick.” The Joker explained. When Pennywise heard what The Joker said, he immediately made him look into his deadlights and dispose him.

When Aquarius came out with a tank top and shorts, Pennywise stared at Aquarius crossly. “What happened to The Joker?” Aquarius asked. “He’s tied up right now and needed to ‘float’... What the hell were you thinking, you think this whole interview is all about you? it’s not all about you, it’s about our SON” Pennywise scolded. “Don’t yell at me! You thought you could just hire those who are clowns, so what the promising sitter is human or another being? at least our son would feel safer than with the ones who are literally monsters.” Aquarius  replied with a scold. Pennywise nearly snapped, but tried to keep his cool. “I just wanted our son to understand who we are, we are demons and he should be looked after by demons.” Pennywise replied in a calmer but stern tone. “I don’t want to trust anyone with our son, I love our son... I didn’t want Archie to go through what I’ve been through with my baby sitter--” “There you go again, you’re thinking about yourself again, can you just get your head out of the clouds and get more serious!” Pennywise snapped as his eyes turned red. “I’m thinking about myself? you’re the one who is thinking about yourself; you want us to go on vacation away from our son, well you know something? I don’t need a vacation away from my son...” Aquarius picks up her son from the baby seat, “I think I need a vacation from YOU” Aquarius said angrily as she barged out the door with her son in her arms.

Pennywise stared crossly at Aquarius as she left the house with his son, before he starts trashing the place full of rage. “Dames... ‘Maybe I need a vacation from you’ she says, ‘I didn’t want our son to go through what I’ve been through’ she... says...” Pennywise slowed down as he was thinking about what she was saying before he cut her off. “Has she... been abused by her baby sitter?” Pennywise asked himself. Pennywise realized that he may have pulled her trigger when he should of listened to her about her reason for being worried; after all, she was a human being before she became a demon. Pennywise decided to clean up the mess and pick up all the broken glasses and vases before Aquarius comes back from her route with her son.

Next part coming soon

[nothing-but-dreamy]

ON THE EDGE ~ Pt. 4

Characters: Gavin Reed x fem!Reader; Connor; Hank Anderson;

Warnings: cursing

Words: 2668

Gavin was far away from being 'happy'. But he listened interested in what yn had to say in the briefing. He was impressed how much she had found out within … one day. She had a bunch of files, several papers and she also had prepared a report for each one of them with the important details. If Gavin had a good day, he could do just the half of it. If any.

"So, our guy is Joseph 'The Joker'.", she stopped as she saw Gavin trying to suppress the laughter behind his hand, "Come on, Gavin. Laugh. Or otherwise you will explode.", she said amused.

"That is the stupidest name on earth.", Gavin said chuckling.

Yn watched her partner who was looking so much better when he was grinning, "Yes, that's why I suggest we should call the whole case 'JoJo'.", just as she had said it, Gavin laughed out loud, crying with tears.

Gavin’s amusement was contagious and yn joined him while she pinched the bridge of his nose.

Even Hank started to rumble with laughter, "Yeah, we should take this name. It won't get any better, I guess. Where can we find this guy?"

"Maybe in a circus with clowns?", Gavin suggested still grinning.

Yn chuckled but shook her head to get back on track, "Actually, he deals in Liberty park.

*

Twenty minutes later, all four were sitting in the 'Liberty Park Café' for 'observation'. For normal people, it wasn't that easy to detect a dealer. But for three cops and an android, it shouldn't be that hard. At least, they could disguise their work with some coffee and snacks. Mostly, coffee.

The group took a table near a window to have the park in sight. It was snowing again and therefore, too cold to be outside for too long. Because they had no picture of Joseph, they had to rely on their observation skills.

"Could this be our guy?", Connor asked and pointed at a guy with long hair and a beard. He stood underneath a tree with his hands buried in the pockets of his long coat.

Yn took a grape of the fruit salad and threw it into her mouth before she looked at the guy. It was the third guy Connor had found suspicious, "Well…", yn started, considering the possibility but then, a woman appeared and walked straight to the guy. She hugged and kissed him before they wandered off with linked arms.

Gavin looked annoyed at Connor with crossed arms, "Wow, tin can, you're the best Investigator ever."

“It’s not that I could detect drugs from this distance.”, Connor defended himself.

“Then, I don’t see why you’re even here.”

“Because yn asked me-”

“You asked him?”, Gavin asked exasperatedly and looked at her with a dark expression.

She raised her hands in surrender, “He’s Hank’s partner so, of course, he’s on board. I’m sure he will play a good role in this case.”, she said and once again, she noticed Gavin’s mood. He was on the edge of the next outburst.

Luckily, Hank was this time the one who spotted the next suitable candidate for their suspect and stopped Gavin to say whatever he wanted next, “I guess, this could be our guy.”

The other three of the group looked at a guy in his twenties. He wore some pair of jeans with holes, a t-shirt of an old grunge rock band and a black, well-worn, leather jacket. His long, blonde, greasy looking hair was tied to a ponytail. He leant casually against a street lamp as if he was waiting for someone and at the same time as if he would have all the time in the world.

“It could be JoJo.”, yn said with a slow nod. His appearance coincided with the few details she had found in the statements. The hair, height and surprisingly, the t-shirt were the same.

“It could be just another guy waiting for a hooker.”, Gavin grunted. In his eyes, nothing of this was worth his time.

“Hey, JoJo!”, a guy on a bicycle called out and waved as he passed the grunge guy.

All three pairs of eyes were landing on Gavin who rolled with his eyes, “Oh, please! That can’t be true.”, he said and wiped over his face with his hand.

"So, that's our guy, then.", Connor said with a pleased smile. He was a big fan of having a clear suspect.

The group observed JoJo for a while. Hank ordered new coffee and as their cups were refilled, several people had passed JoJo. Some were just greeting him. Some had talked with him, maybe buying drugs, “Couldn’t we just arrest him?”, Connor asked.

“We could but if yn’s theory is right, he could lead us to his boss.”, Hank explained.

"He has a type.", yn said suddenly.

"A type? A type of what?", Connor asked confused. Somehow, he had the feeling that whenever he was learning one new thing there were two other things coming his way, like these human comments.

Yn looked at Connor with a grin, "A type of woman. He ignores the blondes. But he looks after the brunette."

"No!", Gavin called out and looked serious at yn. His brows were knitted together and yn saw his eyes sparkling darkly. There he was again: her all too protective partner… or at least, he tried to be that.

Her smirk grew bigger, "It's a good idea, I think."

Gavin gritted his teeth, "And I say, no!"

"What is going on?", Connor asked Hank low while he watched the exchange between yn and Gavin.

"I'm not really sure…", Hank answered.

Before Hank could speak out his assumption, Gavin was faster to explain, "She wants to meet him.", he said coldly.

"What?", Connor asked surprised and looked at yn.

"It's the best chance we have. I'll go over to him, flirt a bit and bug him. Then, we will get him and his boss. We will have a chance to get the whole circus. It won't take me more than ten minutes.", yn said smirking, leant back in her seat with crossed arms and watched Gavin almost exploding in front of her eyes.

"And my answer is no!", he called out, which caused the other guests to look at the small group.

Yn looked challenging at Gavin, "Good that I haven't asked you for permission."

"Then, I will go with you.", Gavin demanded, thinking of himself as smart.

Yn’s eyes grew big. She looked at her partner with a confused expression, "Are you nuts? How shall I flirt with him when you're around?", she said and gestured to him and his appearance.

Gavin saw something in her eyes, in the way she was looking at him. Not sure if he was right, if she was giving him a compliment in some way or not. Was it possible that she could see him in a certain way?

"I can go with her.", Connor offered and broke Gavin’s train of thought and the connection he had with yn.

"You?", Gavin asked spitefully and sizesing up the android.

"Yes... I could act as her servant android. Even now, there are still androids out there who are serving humans. It would be no big deal.", Connor explained.

Yn was already hooked, "Best idea!I told you he will play a role in this case. So, we have a plan. Tomorrow, we will bug this fucker."

*

“Gavin, no!”, yn called out. Again and again, Gavin wished he had listened to her instead of being hard headed to stop the crazy guy on his own. Once again, Gavin suffered through the events of the last case in his dream. And once again, he heard the shots from the guy. Then, he shot the guy on his own just to find yn lying on the ground bleeding. Gavin ran over to her, turned her around and tried to wake her up but she was already unconscious. He knelt next to her, pressing his hand on her bleeding wounds to stop the blood until the ambulance was coming. He even drove to the hospital to stay by her side.

Two long hours, he was waiting til the doctor came to him, telling Gavin that she was alright and would be okay. Gavin even waited til he could visit her in the room a few hours later. Slowly, and with shaking knees, Gavin went to her room, opened the door and slipped carefully in.

Gavin’s blood was running cold because of the scene in front of him. Next to yn’s bed sat Connor, holding her hand in his with intertwined fingers. Yn was already awake, looking at the android with a love filled glance. Connor looked from yn at Gavin and back at yn, “Look who’s there. Gavin came to see you.”, Connor said softly.

“Gavin? Who’s Gavin?”, she said without even looking up…

It was three o’clock in the morning and Gavin started up from the dream, from the nightmare, with a racing heart. Once again, he was soaked with sweat. He raked his fingers through his wet hair and without a second thought, he stood up to go into his bathroom. He splashed cold water into his face several times. As he looked up into the mirror, he saw a pale guy with dark shadows under his eyes. Gavin grabbed a bottle of shampoo and threw it violently into the shower, “This god damn, fucking android!”, he yelled out. Within a few days, Connor had been able to get closer to yn. Gavin feared this android would be even able to win her over. Maybe Gavin should gather all his courage to speak with her as long as there was time or otherwise, the android could snatch her from under his nose. But how should he do that without risking their friendship?

*

Yn rummaged through her bag with clothes. She already wore some leather boots, a tight fitting and low cut, black jeans and searched for the blood red tank top. She had made her hair and she even had put makeup on with too much mascara and eyeliner for the most dramatic look. Yn found the tank top and donned it over her head. As she pulled it down, a movement in the mirror caught her attention, "Voyeurism, huh? That's a crime.", she said, smirking.

Gavin closed slowly up to her with his hands stuffed into his front pockets of his jacket, "I know. We worked on some of these cases. Listen-", he said softly, collecting all his courage and searching for the right words.

"I know what you want to say and yes, I will be careful. Connor is by my side. You and Hank on the other side of the street by the café. Nothing will happen. This is easy. You don't have to worry this much.", yn said reassuringly while she donned her leather jacket over the top. The outfit would be a bit too cold for the weather but she wanted to flirt with the suspect and so, she had to show off some skin. She even pulled down the top some more so that her décolleté got more visible.

Gavin’s eyes fell on that view which caused his mind to go blank for a moment. All in all, she was very distracting, dressed up like this and he had difficulties to focus back on what he actually wanted, "Uhm… I… It's just... There's something I have to tell-", he tried insecurely, not sure if this was a good idea at all. If Gavin would go this way there was no going back and he knew that.

The door of the locker room opened once again and Hank took the decision away from Gavin, "Yn, Fowler wants to see you.", the Lieutenant said and left again.

"Coming!”, yn called out as a response and stowed away her bag and stuff before she turned back to Gavin, “Get ready. We will leave soon.", she said with a soft pat on his chest and a smile on her lips.

Gavin looked after her. He huffed out, annoyed about himself as the door opened once again. Yn’s head appeared in the door, "Oh, and, by the way, this shirt you wear? It looks very good. The color suits your eyes.", she said, winked at him and left again. Gavin smiled softly and felt his cheeks getting warmer. He was sure that she had no idea what she was doing to him but he enjoyed these small moments. They were all he got.

*

Then, it was showtime. Hank and Gavin stood across the walkway at a bar table with two cups of coffee to go as a disguise to be able to watch the scene. JoJo was already there, leaning at the same street lamp like the day before. Now and then, he greeted someone. Then, Gavin watched yn coming down the way, still in some distance. She said something to Connor that let the android chuckle. Connor looked down at yn with a huge smile and as she looked up at him, her smile was matching the android’s one. Pain shot through Gavin as he got reminded of his dream from the night before. It was a horrible nightmare with an end that never happened like this but his mind was determined to let him suffer even more. As if it wouldn’t be enough to get reminded of yn being shot all the time. No, now the android had to be in his dreams, as well.

“It’s good that Connor kept his LED ring.”

“W-what?”, Gavin asked. Hank had pulled him out of his thoughts and this time, Gavin was thankful for the old man to be there, even if he would never admit that loudly.

Hank nodded into the direction of Connor and yn, they almost had reached JoJo, “I mean without the LED ring, Connor would look more like her handsome boyfriend than her servant.”, Hank said amused.

Gavin observed the two and wasn’t happy what he saw. Connor was dressed completely in black and with his height he looked like a bodyguard. The way they interacted told that they seemed to be very close to each other. Gavin was looking forward to the end of this bullshit, his nerves were already blank but the case just had started. It would last a bit longer til everything would fall back to normal again without Connor and Hank being around them all the time.

Then, yn passed JoJo and as she had expected, the dealer was looking after her. Much to her delight, he even whistled after her as she swayed her hips a bit more provokingly. Yn stopped and turned around. JoJo was confident, very confident, he smirked at her and wasn’t impressed by Connor as he stepped a bit forward. Yn gave him a sign to stay where he was before she walked over to JoJo with a flirty smirk on her lips.

The longer she was talking to the dealer, the more Gavin became nervous. It got on his nerves to see JoJo coming closer to yn step by step. She was laughing about whatever he said. She leant forward to be closer to him whenever she could. And Connor just stood there, observing the scene, looking out for her - as planned.

Hank noticed that Gavin was annoyed by the scene. Since yn had began to talk with JoJo, Gavin had started to torture his empty cardboard cup. He was drumming on the lid and scratching on the material the longer the whole scene lasted.

As JoJo touched yn on her hip while he leant forward to whisper something into her ear, Gavin squashed the cardboard cup completely with his knuckles turning white.

"You know, Reed, that's the reason why you couldn't do Connor's job.", Hank said and pointed at Gavin's hand.

"Shut the fuck up.", Gavin muttered angrily and just relaxed as yn and Connor left the scene finally.

[artificialqueens]

Backyard Boy (Gottrosenali) - Pinkgrapefruit

a/n -

special thanks to the druk discord for both their help with gottrosenali as a whole and the enby central station for their invaluable help in my portrayal of a trans character. also thanks to frey for her infinite wisdom when it comes to grammar.

i really hope you like it so please let me know how you feel!!!

*

Dance with me in my backyard, boy

Looking super fine in your corduroy

Drive me ‘round the block

We can go in a loop

And we’ll turn the volume up on some

Good boy band tunes

*

Mik leans forward, head bumping against one of the front seats as he attempts to grab Denali’s phone from the cup holder. She doesn’t notice, too focused on navigating towards the Mcdonald’s, but Rosé does, and she slaps his hand like a small child.

“I love you baby boy, but I’d rather Nali drive us into a wall before I let you play Gaga one more time.” She sounds grumpy, but Mik can search out the soft undertone and he rubs a thumb over her hand before he leans back. He sighs in relief, twisting a little to try and release some of the pressure from his binder before he sits back.

“God, someone needs to get some food into you,” he jokes and he watches as Denali places her hand on Rosé’s thigh - the pink-haired girl has always been the worst for being hangry.

It’s their lunch break, and they’ve escaped into town to get a McDonald’s before they have to sit through another hour of school. There isn’t a lesson they share between the three of them, so they relish in this time together.

“Drive-thru or eat in?” Denali calls out, her volume always a little too loud for the tiny Volkswagen she drives.

“Uh,” Mik replies, “I’m paying and I need a wee, so I reckon we go inside and then eat in the car.”

Rosé grunts, and he sees Denali’s thumb slide over her tights before she sighs. “You know I hate it when we eat in here,” she moans, but then she catches his eye and rolls her own. “But sure.”

Mik pumps his fist in triumph and, once they’re parked up, makes sure to give Denali a quick peck on the forehead before intertwining his fingers with Rosé’s. Denali wipes the Carmex off her forehead with an affectionate scowl, patting his ass in return before skipping ahead to open the door.

“My loves,” she bows her head, waving her hand in a comically large gesture that makes even Rosé crack a smile.

“Chivalry ain’t dead. He hears her mutter under her breath, and he laughs in response, loving the way her eyes brighten up when he does.

He orders for them, Rosé in too much of a grump to avoid yelling at the poor cashiers, and Nali with just a little too much anxiety. He notes down the orders on his phone like a good boyfriend and then relays them perfectly, adding on a bag of mozzarella sticks because he knows Rosé will try and steal his.

"Ladies,” he bows as he holds out the brown paper bag, and Rosé loops a hand through his arm. He loves it when she allows herself to be clingy, and Denali does too, so they let her whenever she feels it - even if it means having to guide a dead weight back to the car.

She sighs and flutters her eyes open when she’s back into the passenger seat before snorting a chuckle that makes Denali do a double-take from the fries she’d been devouring.

She points hazily at the paper bag. “Mik-Donalds-” she jokes.

“Fuck,” Mik says, leaning forward again from the back seat to drop a peck on Rosé’s cheek. “God, I love you.”

Denali places a palm on his cheek while he’s still leaning forward. “Same,” she sighs. “Same.

*

I can feel the fresh air

I can feel your eyes stare

And I’m not gonna lie

I get a little bit scared

My heart is on wings

I’m living in dreams

And at the top of our lungs, we sing

*

He lets his back hit the locker with a clang, double-checking the number because even after a year and a bit of dating he’s still never quite sure which locker belongs to Rosé. Luckily, he’s proven to be correct when Denali skips over to him, slipping her hand into his and leaning her head on his arm with a deep sigh.

"Spanish not doing it for you?” he jokes, tilting his head so it rests on top of hers, watching the rest of the students trail out of the class.

“Not last period,” she sighs, rubbing her temple with her index finger. “I’m getting a headache I swear.” She angles her head to check Mik’s watch and clicks her tongue. “Where’s Rosie,” she whines, much to Mik’s amusement.

“Rehearsals will be running late,” he tells her, enjoying the way she’s curling further into his side as the bell chimes loudly above them.

She harrumphs, mewling even more as he pulls away from her side, placing his rucksack on the ground and rummaging around for the painkillers he tends to keep. He finds them, and hands them to her alongside a bottle of water that she grasps quickly, swallowing the pills with a happy sigh. When he stands, he lets her fall back under his arm and he traces patterns on her back, muttering about his senior textiles project while she butts in with questions.

As the 3:15 bell chimes, they watch the last dregs of students trail out of the door, and Mik starts to suck at his teeth in frustration. He knows he’s done the same thing when engrossed in a project, eyes only focusing on the way the needle goes through the fabric, but he can’t bring himself not to be irritated when Rosé hasn’t even texted.

“Ah, the prophetic daughter returns,” Denali mocks from in his shirt, pulling him out of his thoughts and making him turn towards the theatre department where Rosé is jogging casually down the hall.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” she calls, sliding slightly as her worn converse lack grip on school linoleum. She comes to a halt, hands on his bare arms, lips pressed against his cheek in a chaste peck. She does the same to Denali in apology, and although the girl still looks grumpy, there’s a flicker of warmth in her eyes.

“You’re driving home,” she says bluntly, handing over her keys with a scowl before turning to the door, and Rosé looks at Mik questioningly.

“Headache,” he tells her, and she nods knowingly.

“Migraine?”

“Not yet.” She sighs, shaking the keys in her hand to elicit a pleasant jingle, but Mik notices how it makes Denali wince. “Soon,” he amends before jogging to catch up to her - knowing the sun will do little to improve her mood.

“Sleepover it is,” Rosé sighs to herself, unlocking the car from a distance and watching as he helps Denali into the passenger seat - all too aware that the last time she was in the backseat with a migraine, it went terribly. She smiles, she’s not sure how she got so lucky.

*

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

Everything is perfect

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

All our words were worth it

*

Mik’s been going to the gym to cope wth his dysphoria, and it shows in the way his shoulders are getting broader and his muscles more defined. An extra bonus is the way it means he can cradle Denali in his arms, carrying her easily up the stairs. He lets her rest her head in the crook of his neck and relents when she tries to get him into bed with her, curling around her and sending Rosé off to search for Denali’s rescue meds.

She brings a glass of water and a sticky cold patch with her, which she applies gently to Denali’s forehead, coaxing a whimper out of her. They get her to swallow the pill, and then Rosé closes the curtains, padding around quietly before sliding into the bed next to them both.

Neither quite know what they would do if Denali’s migraines made her sensitive to touch as well as light and sound (they’re all too affectionate to try and withhold touch), but they’ve lived through enough of them that they know that with a dose of medication and a few hours in the dark she tends to be good as new.

They’re right, though the attack does relegate them to ordering pizza and eating it in Rosé’s ridiculously large bed (or at least this is the excuse they use on her mum when she looks at them disapprovingly).

Denali presses a kiss to Rosé’s bare shoulder and the pink-haired girl rolls over, placing a hand next to each of her shoulders and hovering above Denali with a wicked grin until Mik pokes his finger into her side and she collapses. Denali lets out a yelp, but she’s giggling while Rosé curses them both for ruining her moment.

“No funny business while Nali’s drugged up,” Mik reminds her gently - a rule they had to put into place after they made the side effects of her meds ten times worse due to some rougher activities.

It’s a situation that they’re not particularly willing to repeat.

Rosé rolls over Denali again until she’s in between them, sighing contentedly when Mik rests his head on her chest. “Movie?” she asks quietly.

“Disney!” Denali suggests, before wincing ever so slightly at the pitch of her own voice. She runs a hand through Mik’s hair and then places her head on Rosé’s other shoulder.

“I’m down for that,” Mik agrees.

“UP?”

“That’s Pixar, god, Rosie, know your animated films.”

“Potato, Potato,” Rosé replies, clicking on the title on Disney+ before tossing the remote to the side.

They don’t mention Rosé crying when Ellie dies.

They fall asleep to the end credits.

*

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

Dancing around like a clown at the circus

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

Backyard boy, you make me nervous

*

Mik wakes up to aching in his lower abdomen and it sends a shiver of fear down his spine. His boxers feel slightly damp, and he’s grateful that he fell asleep with his head on Rosé’s chest.

He flips the soft comforter over so he can see the sheets, and the sight of the blood makes him more nauseous than his cramps. He weighs his options for a second before gently stroking Denali’s cheek with a sigh.

“Baby,” he says with a quick glance at Rosé’s lit up alarm clock. It’s four am. “Uh, Nali.” Denali lifts her head from Rosé’s shoulder and blinks her eyes expectantly. They’re bleary and she lifts a hand to rub at them before she properly focuses on Mik.

In the dim room, she can see the dark patch on the white bottom sheet and she gently palms his face.

“Let’s get you cleaned up love,” she says with an apologetic smile. He nods and watches as she rolls out of the wide double and swiftly locates the pair of period pants he keeps in a hidden pocket of his duffle. She looks between them and a tampon before tossing the tampon onto Rosé’s desk and then hands them to Mik, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. “Go on, love.” She nods towards the bathroom and he smiles weakly, watching her shake Rosé awake with a gentle hand.

When he gets back, the bedside lamps are on and Rosé is stripping the bed, tossing the spoiled sheets into a pile on the floor. When he looks around for Denali, she stops and walks over to him, palming his chest over his t-shirt and snuggling into him the best she can with the small height difference.

“She’s gone to get the Nurofen and a hot water bottle,” she tells him - voice hoarse from sleep.

“I’m sorry-” Mik starts to say, but Rosé cuts him off with a steady hand on the side of his head.

“You don’t have to apologise for anything Gottlieb,” she asserts firmly. “It’s a natural thing that happens to bodies and you wouldn’t let me or Nali say shit if it were us-”

She looks sternly.

“-would you?” He nods in acquiescence and jumps a little when he feels a warm hand on his upper arm. He smells the coconut shampoo of Nali’s hair before he sees her.

“You wouldn’t let Rosie apologise when she bled on your favourite hoodie,” reminds Denali softly, handing him two tablets and a small tumbler of water before exchanging them for a hot water bottle. He sighs when he tucks it into his abdomen, and they make him sit at Rosé’s desk while they bustle around sorting out new bedsheets.

Rosé’s mum pops her head round the door at one point, causing Mik to flush red, though Denali waves her off. “Don’t worry about this, Mrs McCorkel.” She smiles wearily. “Periods.” She shrugs, and Rosé’s mum laughs, shutting the door with a low thud.

They all crawl back into bed, Rosé insisting on spooning him from behind while he holds Denali close. She presses her lips to the back of his neck, and he can feel her smile into the skin.

“You’re my favourite man, handsome,” she states, warmth in her voice. “I love you.”

He buries his face into Denali’s hair and lets the warmness lull him back to sleep.

*

Dance with me in my backyard, boy

Looking super fine in your corduroy (five, six, seven, eight)

Roll the windows down

Let the base drop low

And everybody’s talking

But I don’t wanna know

*

Denali yelps, pulling back from where she’d been straddling Mik in such a way that makes them both fall off the window seat and tumble onto the floor. Rosé looks over at them and scowls, a highlighter in her hand. She makes an obscene gesture with it and then sets it down.

“Can you two be horndogs literally anywhere else,” she asks, exasperated, and they both fall into giggles.

“I’m sorry!” Denali squeals as Mik runs a hand down her side. “Your boyfriend just gave me carpet burn from his damn moustache.”

Mik looks up, somewhere between awestruck and dazed.

“Maybe it’s retaliation for you giving me rug burn,” Rosé quips with a wink before looking at their boyfriend, who’s doing a perfect meerkat expression. Before she can blink, he’s on his feet and running towards the bathroom, where they hear a sharp squeak of excitement.

She holds a hand out to Denali who pulls her out of her chair, and they let their interlocked fingers swing together as they wander over to follow him.

In the middle of the counter, next to three empty vials of testosterone, is Mik. His eyes wide and unblinking, fingers stretching the skin of his upper lip so he can pinpoint a single pale brown hair.

Denali places a featherlight kiss on his exposed shoulder and then reaches to touch it, pulling back in mock anguish.

“Ouch!” she shouts, and Rosé stifles a giggle at her antics, rubbing a hand on Mik’s back to try and gauge how he’s feeling. He sighs into the touch and his shoulders relax a bit.

“That’s one special little dude you’ve got there, bubs,” she tells him with a look of pride on her face. “I think it needs a name.”

Denali looks at her and shakes her head, but Mik is already nodding slowly. “Jeremy,” he says, voice full of conviction.

“We’re not naming his face pube,” Denali fights back, hoisting herself up onto the counter so she can look closer. She ruffles his hair with her fingers and he swats her away.

“Two against one, love,” Rosé points out. “Jeremy the destroyer.”

She leans up and kisses his top lip. “There is now a fourth in this relationship,” she announces smugly, raising an eyebrow at Denali, who holds her hands up. Mik looks between the two of them in amusement.

“I’m not going to kiss the face pube-”

“He has a name,” Rosé cuts her off with a grin.

“I’m not going to kiss Jeremy the destroyer,” Denali responds petulantly, throwing a slightly damp flannel at her from beside the sink.

“Do you not support your boyfriend?” Rosé catches it and tries to throw it back, but Mik grabs it out of the air, holding onto it so he doesn’t get one in the face.

“Rosie McCorkel, you little bitch.”

Mik watches them, dismayed, but incredibly entertained. “Fucking lesbians,” he mutters under his breath, still smiling.

*

Feel the fresh air

I can feel your eyes stare

And I’m not gonna lie

I get a little bit scared

And my heart is on wings

I’m living in dreams

And at the top of our lungs, we sing

*

Denali smiles at him as she slips out of the glass door, wincing a little as her bare feet touch the sun-bleached patio stones. He feels Rosé flick some water at him from her place in the pool, but he flips her off, beckoning to Denali, who does an awkward little hop-scotch across the hot yard until she can slide down next to him on the sun-lounger.

He places a gentle hand on her exposed hip, but she clicks her tongue at him. “Mikkk,” she whines, and he places a kiss on her temple before he slides off the sun lounger and moves down to sit on the edge of the pool.

It’s such a hot day that even the lukewarm water on his legs feels like an ice bath, and he desperately wants to take his baggy shirt off, but the idea of sitting outdoors in a sports bra makes him squirm a little. Rosé’s neighbours could see.

She seems to catch his discomfort and she swims up to him, placing one hand on each of his thighs to hold herself up in the water.

“You’re so short,” he teases gently, but she just hoists herself up, straining her neck to place a wet kiss on his chin. She snorts into it and falls backwards, flailing in the water so he gets covered in a fine spray.

“You need to calm down,” he tells her, hearing Denali chuckle in the background.

“Come and make me,” Rosé replies as she swims further away. She tries to shake her ass at him - skimpy pink bikini bottoms pulled high up onto her hips - but she falls forward, head going under the water again.

“Did she ever learn to swim?” Denali asks between loud slurps of ice-cold lemonade, the book she was reading in the shade long forgotten.

“I really couldn’t tell you.”

He turns back to the pool and sees Rosé sitting on one of the bottom steps, hair ties in hand as she tries to braid her thick, pink hair - her fingers fumbling in an attempt that can only be deemed pitiful. He sighs, moving to sit behind her so his swimming trunks are completely submerged. She leans back into him gratefully, and he takes the hair bobbles willingly, weaving her two french braids.

He’s about to move after he finishes when he hears wet footsteps.

“Don’t run, love!” calls Rosé, paddling next to Mik so she’s leaning on the edge of the pool. Denali just scoffs, skidding on the water until she can dive straight into the deep end of the pool. He winces as she does it, hand reaching out to grip Rosé’s, but they both know that her ice-skater balance will save her. She does a messy front stroke over to her partners, her costume glittering in all of its tacky-mermaid glory.

Denali slides between his legs and tips her head back for a kiss, pouting until he gives her a chaste kiss, and then indulging Rosé, who scrunches her nose at the momentary lack of affection.

Mik sighs, pulling Denali’s long hair out of the messy bun it’s in and separating it into two. “Thank you, Mik, we love you, Mik, you’re the best boyfriend ever, Mik,” he moans, letting his fingers slide through her hair like silk.

Rosé tries to hide her laughter in a cough.

It doesn’t work.

*

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

Everything is perfect

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

All our words were worth it

*

The euphoria he feels with a pride flag wrapped around his shoulders, billowing behind him like a cape, is unreal. He feels like he could fly if he wasn’t holding hands with Denali, who’s keeping him firmly grounded, and he’s making sure she doesn’t run off and get lost while Rosé has gone to find drinks.

Luckily, they see her before she sees them - Mik is a full head taller than Denali in his platform combat boots and can just about see over the crowd, so he spots the glitter down Rosé’s parting. She’s carrying three plastic cups with straws, and she’s trailed by a sapphic pride flag that’s looped through her belt loops, so it surrounds her denim cut-offs like a skirt.

They’d had a long conversation about the flag - she and Mik sat on the porch with coffee in hand. She’d bought it before they got together and she’s right when she says it looks pretty with her hair - the shades of pink all muddling together until she looks like a ball of cotton candy. He’d smiled and taken her hand in his, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to her hair that still smelled of sleep and Denali’s perfume.

“I know you think of me as a man,” he’d said, feeling her squeeze his hand in acknowledgement, “and I know you like women.”

“I just don’t want you to feel left out,” she’d said, poking her tongue into her coffee to check its temperature before taking a long sip. Denali padded out onto the porch, bare feet on the wooden slats. She was wrapped in a tartan blanket and she sat down next to Mik with a huff, laying her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes.

“I’ll survive not being the centre of your attention babe,” he’d joked. And that had been it.

It was the right thing to say because she looks radiant in the sun, and he takes the cold peach lemonade gratefully, handing off Nali-watch to Rosé as he adjusts his trans flag in a shop window.

He re-ties Denali’s bi flag while he’s at it, looping it through the straps of her dungarees so it won’t come loose in the crowd. She turns around and smiles gratefully, placing a soft hand on his barely-there stubble.

Rosé called them disgusting when she first saw them this morning, side by side in their matching crop tops and dungaree shorts. He’s got his own over a nude binder, and it’s the closest he’s ever felt to being shirtless, even with the way his chest is sweating in the summer heat. He knows Rosé’s rucksack has a spare top and bra for him - it’s a part of the reason why he loves her.

“All good?” Rosé asks, adjusting one of the pins in Denali’s flower crown (pink, blue and white) out of habit. She presses a quick kiss to the tip of Denali’s nose and then checks her braids in the shop window too.

“Am I still on Nali-watch?” Mik asks, half-joking and offering his arm for her to take, to which Denali laughs and waves her hand.

“I can get places myself, guys,” she giggles.

“You absolutely cannot,” Mik tells her, raking his hand through his sweaty curls.

“Not if we wanna get there on time,” chimes in Rosé, taking Denali’s hand and swinging it between them. “Now, come on!”

*

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

Dancing around like a clown at the circus

Da da da da da da

Da da da da da da

*

“We have a present for you,” Denali tells him, watching him comb hair gel through his curls in an attempt to tame them before he puts his graduation cap on. He smiles, watching her in the mirror as she curls the back of Rosé’s hair with deft fingers. Rosé flicks her eyes up from the eyeshadow palette she’s looking at, a small smirk playing on her lips, and she goes to say something, but then she stops herself.

“Well, now I’m excited,” he tells them, placing his tie loosely around his neck and leaning back against the countertop, watching them adoringly.

It’s moments like this that he just can’t believe his luck - how he’s got two beautiful women to call his own. Denali is a vision in lilac - a fitted bodice moving into a flared skirt that reminds him of the skating videos her mum showed him at Christmas. Her newly bleached hair is in a braid over her shoulder, and the loose baby hairs that just won’t submit to hair spray make him want to tuck them gently behind her ear.

Rosé resolutely told them she wanted them to die for her, and she’s really trying in a pink, bardot dress that shows too much cleavage to be appropriate for graduation. He supposes she wants to go out with a bang, and he’s not complaining, but he might need a moment before they leave just to collect himself.

“You look flustered,” smirks Rosé with one eyebrow quirked. It pulls him out of his throughs, and he flushes a darker shade of red at the comment.

“Stop teasing him,” Denali tells her, moving to put on some lip gloss before he can steal one last kiss. “I wanna get onto the surprise.”

“Impatient baby,” Mik jokes to get the heat off himself, and she bats a blush brush at him. He’s about to respond when Rosé places a hand on his cheek, guiding his body around so she can fasten his navy blue tie.

“Be good,” she tells him with a tap on the nose. “Now stay here for a second.”

He waits quietly in the bathroom while his girlfriends hurry off, coming back after a few minutes with an envelope and a tentative look on both of their faces. Denali hangs back, leaning against the doorframe with a crinkled nose while Rosé moves forward and holds out the envelope. She waves it at him and he takes it, feeling its weight in his hands. It’s light, but there’s something about it. He can’t figure out what it is.

He shoves a makeup brush under the seal and rips it across, drawing a snigger out of Denali, and Rosé rolls her eyes at them, holding out her hand for her makeup brush because she doesn’t trust him with it.

He holds it out of apprehension and he hears someone click their tongue at him with impatience.

Slowly, Mik pulls out a single sheet of paper and his breath hitches.

“No,” he exhales, feeling his tailbone hit the edge of the countertop in a way he knows will hurt later. He blinks a couple of times and the envelope falls out of his hands, grabbed by Denali who swoops in, placing a warm palm on his upper arm.

“Yes,” replies Rosé, a smile in her voice.

It’s a GoFundMe receipt printed on flimsy copy paper totalling just over $5000. He doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“The whole year pitched in - the school really,” Denali murmurs, her hand on him a grounding presence that keeps him tethered to this reality.

“I don’t know what to say.” He’s being totally honest, voice shaking under the weight of his emotions. It’s everything he’s ever wanted and he’d resigned himself to another four or five years without that. “It’s freedom.”

“You deserve it, love,” Rosé tells him, her smile softer than he’s seen in a while - softer than she tends to go without Denali pouting at her.

Denali reaches up and swipes the pad of her thumb under his eye to catch the tears he didn’t know were falling before straightening his tie and placing a firm hand on his chest.

“Come on handsome,” she tells him, taking a deep breath. “Let’s go.”

*

Backyard boy, you make me nervous

[smutty-ki113r]

(((*vents back into chat* OK SO YOU WANTED THIS SOOOO- FEEL FREE TO READ AS PLEASE- IM MAKING A PART TWO BUT IDK WHEN IT WILL COME OUT SEEING AS IM LAZY BUT HERE YA GO B) ))

--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -𝙰 𝚁σɱαɳƈҽ Ⴆҽƚɯҽҽɳ ƚɯσ 𝙶σσϝႦαʅʅʂ-

𝙰 [SUSSY ANON] ϝαɳ-ϝιƈƚισɳ

𝙻αυɠԋιɳɠ 𝙹αƈƙ 𝚇 𝙲αɳԃყ 𝙿σρ

``𝚃ԋҽ 𝙲𝚒ɾƈ𝚞ʂҽʂ 𝚁σɱαɳƚιƈ 𝙳συ``

--//Explicit words//Hints to sexual desires//Mentions of death//Slight blood//--

️🌈 ~Gay ship paring Creepypasta~ ️🌈

It was a crisp summer’s night, as our colorful jester Candy Pop wandered throughout his Circus. He sighed as he sat down at the ‘Pick-A-Duck’ station. He pulled out a rubber duck and mushed it in his hand, chuckling as it ‘peeped’ out to him. He set it down on the counter and rested his head looking at the duck. He snickered at how small it was, patting it on the head, smiling at the tiny peeps it produced. He pocketed the duck for good measures, in case he ever needed a quick chuckle. He got up and wandered around more, humming to the tune of ‘Zydrate Anatomy’. He had heard that song a few times now, and it was starting to get stuck in his head. He wasn’t a huge fan of music, but he occasionally listened to it.

As the sun set further down, so did the jester. He went down the lanes between mini-games and in and out of mazes that he knew like the back of his hand. He laughed to himself as memories of chasing kids in these mazes danced in his mind. He loved that about his circus, that any newcomer could get lost so easily, and Candy Pop would know where they were. Most kids got stuck in mazes or rides. So that is where Candy Pop lurked the most, in case a kid did come down, he would be there waiting for them.

Candy Pop's shadow dragged behind him, he was getting rather bored of being by himself, he considered the options of going out, but it was far too late for that. Most places were either closed or going to be closed soon. But Candy Pop didn’t mind that, he entertained himself most of the time as it was. But recently he was craving something, more than just himself. He wanted another to entertain him, to be his partner in crime, to love him. But no one loved Candy Pop, he was too bold and chaotic, and most of all, a killer. Who would love someone that at any given moment, would end it all?

Candy Pop sighed at this, sitting down at a ‘Balloon Pop’ station. He looked up to the balloons on the wall, all of them were purple with a jester-like smile drawn on them. This was one of his favorite mini-games. This was because whenever someone popped the balloon, it would send a loud bang in their ears, causing the person’s ear dumbs to burst. He laughed at how many people went deaf to this. He was about to pop one himself just to hear the loud bang himself, but something caught him off guard. A silent grunt.

Candy Pop turned his head around to see a pin aimed right for his face? No, it was headed for the balloon, but Candy Pops’ poor reaction time led the pin to hit his face, right in his ear, a fearful gasp could be heard, the pin wasn’t meant for Candy Pop, it was meant to hit the balloon to startle him. Candy Pops’ eyes narrowed at who caused this. He couldn’t help but wince at the pain in his ear, pulling the pinout and planning on returning it to the sender. Just as he was about to throw it, a familiar voice caught him off guard.

“Pops! It's me, Jack!” The nervous clown exclaimed. Not wanting to hurt his friend, he rushed over to make sure he wasn’t hurt too badly. He scanned his ear to see where he hit. When he spotted it, he sighed as it wasn’t too severe. “Jeez, I really gotta get my ‘aim’ game eh?” Jack jokingly teased. Both chuckled at Laughing Jacks’ shitty joke. Candy Pop shook his head at his knucklehead friend, both could be complete idiots at times, and this was one of those times. “Ya know you really gotta be more careful with that shit, you aimed way too close to my head ya know!” Candy Pop sighed.

Both stood in awkward silence. Then, in unison, both spoke. “So what are ya doing-?”. Both looked at each other in shock, before laughing at how bizarre that was. Then, Candy Pop sighed, and went first. “I was just wandering around until you showed up, heh- what brings you here anyway?”. Jack looked back to his colorful friend before rubbing the back of his head.

“Well, I just wanted to see how my buddy was doing, ya know? That and I thought ya might wanna hang out?”. Jack asked. Candy Pops head sprung up to this question. Of course, he wanted to hang out with his greatest friend! Finally, something decent he could do. Smiling at Jack, he nodded fastly. “Yes! Yes! Of course, I’d love to hang out!”. Candy Pop sounded like an excited child going to DisneyLand. He practically sprung up from his chair jumping up and down a bit, before tuning it down and just swaying side to side. Jack chuckled at this before announcing where he would be taking him. “Well Candy Pop, I was thinking if we could just hang out at your Circus? Or mine if you’re up for it!”. Laughing Jack held the same excitement in his voice as Candy Pop did.

Candy Pop stood thinking of where he might want to go, but he was already at his circus and didn’t want to stress Laughing Jack too much, so he just decided it would be best to stay at his circus. “We could stay here and mess around!”. Candy Pop gleefully exclaimed. Laughing Jack smiled at this, wasting no time and grabbing Candy Pops’ hand. Jack had been to Candy Pops circus a few times before, but he knew that if he led the way, he would get them lost, or at least himself lost. So he let Candy Pop lead the way, he trusted him like that.

Laughing Jack always liked that about Candy Pop. Candy Pop was his only loyal friend, besides a few others, but even they had slip-ups. Candy Pop on the other hand only made shit jokes from time to time, but nothing too horrible or worth crying over. Candy Pop looked over Jack’s shoulder laughing at him. Jack couldn’t help but laugh back, he loved hanging out with Candy Pop, he was just so wild and fun! It was always a roller coaster of emotions with him. You never knew what you might get. However, Jack loved the days where Candy Pop was so burnt out, that he just talks about the most random things. That’s how they came up with ice cream-shaped pizza. Cookie dough for the bread, ice cream as the sauce, and chocolate chips as the pepperoni.

Candy Pop leads Laughing Jack to a glass maze, Jacks’ favorite maze there. He gasped and joy as his eyes gazed upon the maze. “You didn’t! Pops you know I love this maze!”. Jack chuckled aloud. He jokingly pushed Pops lightly teasing him a bit, both laughed at how cheesy the other was acting. Candy Pop hopped up at the start of the maze, holding a hand out for Jack. Instead of grabbing Candy Pops’ hand, Jack coiled his legs, like a spring, and bounced up, like a loose spring. His legs spiraled back to normal, he laughed at how cartoony that was. Candy Pop clapped his hands in amusement, despite seeing him do it before.

Both then wandered into the maze, Jack getting lost in his own glee, as Candy Pop ran around making sharp turns to not hit or break the glass mirrors. Laughing Jack soon found himself cornered in the maze, slightly lost and scared. Candy Pop took this as a chance to mess with Jack a bit. He stood in a mirror that reflected throughout the entire maze. He called out to Jack. “Oh, Jack~.” Candy Pop snickered at how cheesy this reference was. Jack snorted a bit himself too, he knew Candy Pop was trying to recreate the scene from Pennywise. Both hated that clown, so it was always funny when they mocked him. “You wanna BallOOn?”. Candy Pop said, trying to impersonate Pennywise. Both then burst laughing, Candy Pop falling over revealing where he was.

Jack couldn’t help but wheeze at how his face must have looked when he got lost, he probably looked like a lost child, he snarled at himself for that, but he was so busy laughing that it all seemed so funny. Candy Pop got up brushing himself off, still wheezing from what just happened. Candy Pop looked at Jack, who was still laughing and a bit red from embarrassment that he got scared. Jack looked up to Candy Pop as well, both meeting eye contact. They both grew silent just staring at each other, before starting up again and just losing it to laughter.

Candy Pop broke the spell of infinite laughter by finally speaking up. “Hey, bud- eheh- wanna head somewhere else? Don’t wanna stay here too long, when it gets dark here, IT GETS DARK! I don’t think I have any lights in the mirror maze- because it gets hot in here when there is light- heh.” Candy Pop chuckled. Jack considered this for a moment. “How about the ferris wheel!”. Jack practically shouted. That had to be his favorite ride, from how slow it was, to the heights, and how you could see the entire circus from up there. He loved the whole idea of it. Candy Pop smiled at this as well, he loved the ferris wheel, not as much as Jack, but he considered it second place next to roller coasters as his top pick. “I’d be down for that!”. Candy Pop excitedly said, already running in the direction of the ferris wheel. He had just installed new lighting or the ferris wheel, about a week ago. It lit aesthetic purple and blue, to fit the theme of his circus. He started to go there more often in fact, and having this in mind, he knew Jack would love the update about it.

“Come on then! It has some new cool features”. Candy Pop could jump out of his skin from how excited he was. He grabbed Laughing Jack's hand and dragged him along, leading them out of the maze. It even took Candy Pop a while, because Jack was lagging behind a bit, and kept slamming into the glass walls, so Candy Pop learned to slow down and take a steady pace. Even this was slow, but at least Jack didn’t get himself hurt. Snickering at Jack, Candy Pop teased him by bumping into a wall as well. This pulled off because Jack let out a faint snicker. A few minutes later they made their way out and started their long walk to the ferris wheel.

Eyes wandered around the carnival, looking at all the games and prizes to win. Dried blood spattered onto the walls from previous victims that fell to Candy Pop. History laid on these walls. Jack was there for some of the killings. Most of the time he just ate the victim whole. Other times they fucked the victim up so bad you couldn’t tell out a single feature. Jack smiled at the work they did. Jack felt his face grow warm as his gaze returned to Candy Pop, but he shook it off as just sweating from all that running. Candy Pop looked up to Jack and smiled, Jack's eyes met Candy Pop, and Jack smiled too. Both giggled lightly before looking ahead of them. Jack couldn’t help but love the fact that he was holding Candy Pop's hand. It was just so cute of him, Jack holding Pop's hand. The way his gloves were so silky smooth, and his nails lightly dug into Jack's huge claws. Jack never wanted it to stop, if he could he had the choice to, he would always hold Candy Pops’ hand. But he knew when they got to the ferris wheel he would have to let go. He sighed at that, hating the idea of having to let go. Oh well, might as well enjoy the moment.

The ferris wheel was getting closer now, just a few more rows of mini-games, and they would be at the entrance of the large ferris wheel. Jack could see the purple and blue lights, his jaw dropped rolling on the floor like a cartoon character would in animations. His tongue landed flat on the ground with a loud plop as his eyes bulged out. Candy Pop snickered, raising an eye at his now cartoonified friend. “You like it?” Candy Pop snickered aloud. “Do I like it..? No..” Jack teased. Candy Pop almost frowned, but his frown was cut off by Jack. “I FUCKING LOVE IT!” Candy Pop jumped at how loud his friend got, but smiled in joy. Candy Pop jumped up and down at this new information. “I’m glad you like it! I thought you might!” Candy Pops face beamed with overjoy, Jack saw this in Candy Pop, and lightly pinched Candy Pops nose. Both snickered as they resumed walking.

The closer they got to the ferris wheel, the more excited both got. Candy Pop snickered before looking at Jack. “Last one to the ferris wheel is a rotten egg!” Candy Pop then bolted for the ferris wheel, cackling to himself. “HEY!” Jack winced at Candy Pop. Candy Pop was already halfway there, but Jack remembered he could just teleport, so he did. He snickered to himself at how easy that was, now all he had to do was wait for his jester friend.

Jack looked at his claws admiring them and how deep they could puncture someone. He laughed at how many people he has killed with one swoop of a punch. He could hear Candy Pop getting closer, why didn’t he just teleport too? Maybe he forgot. Either way, Jack laughed a bit.

Candy Pop was now in full view, he was panting a bit at how fast he had to run to get there so quickly. Jack clapped slowly, cocking an eye. Candy Pop’s body dragged down as the weight of his body caught up to him. “Well, well, well, lookie here, I won~!” Jack teased Candy Pop by hissing those words at him. Candy Pop puffed and fell to his knees. “No! Lost! To a master- and cheater.. Of teleportation! How could this ever have happened! Oh, foolish me!” Candy Pop dramatically pretended to faint, holding in a snicker. Jack snorted at this, which triggered Candy Pop to burst laughing. Jack couldn’t help but fall to his side plopping on the ground next to Candy. Both lied their laughing until ether couldn’t breathe.

Candy Pop then dragged himself back up and dusted off. Jack did the same, chuckling at how dramatic his friend had gotten, even if it was an act. Jack then turned to the ferris wheel, to get a better view of it. Jack gasped silently at the sight. Wonderfully crafted, aesthetically fitting, and damn well-done lights, stood before the monochrome clown. He couldn’t help but mutter a silent wow at how unreal this all looked. Jack jumped a bit when he felt Candy Pop’s hand rub the back of Jack. “Pretty isnt it?” Pops silently said as to not ruin the moment. “It’s awesome Pops- like holy shit-.” Jack almost blurted out how much he loved it, but he managed to keep it in. Pops snickered at Jack before nodding to him. “Well, come on, hop it!” Candy Pop excitedly exclaimed. Candy then opened the door for Jack. He climbed in, and Candy Pop followed, sitting on the other side. He then pushed a button and the ferris wheel started to make its way to the top.

The ferris wheel seat rocked back and forth gently, someone could be able to pass out on it if they really wanted to. It was a quarter of the way to the top. Candy Pop smiled at Jack, as both grew to a cold silence. The other gazing deeply into the eyes of the other. Jack gulped a bit as things were getting a bit too intense for him. He didn’t like where things were doing, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to stay till the end for it. It was now three-quarters of the way to the top now. If someone dropped a bit, it would echo throughout the entire circus. No one broke contact, Jack was too scared to look away, and Candy Pop was too into the moment.

The ride stopped as it reached its highest point. Candy Pop took this as his cue, and slowly leaned in. In a panic, Jack leaned back and winced. Confused, Candy Pop opened his eyes and looked at the clearly nervous clown. Both sat looking in a now dead tone silence. Candy Pop lightly coughed before leaning back into his seat. The ride started up again and started its slow descent to the ground.

“Sorry- I thought you wanted to- .” Candy Pop was then cut off by Jack. “N-no it’s okay I just panicked a bit that’s all, heh.” Jack quivered. Pops nodded his head, but he really wanted that kiss. It was just so called for, why did Jack back out, was he.. Scared? But why? It was so clear to Candy Pop that Jack was into him, or maybe that is just Jacks’ way of being nice. If so, that is one hell of a way to be nice.

They both walked in awkward silence to the exit. Neither said or even bothered to look at the other, in fear that something might happen. As they approached the exit, Laughing Jack sighed and looked at Candy Pop. “Hey- Pops? I’m sorry I didn’t mean to, I really wanted to just-!” Jack was cut off as Candy Pop grabbed the now-beat-red blushing clown, and kissed him. Jack couldn’t help but stare in shock, before calming down and kissing back. The kiss felt like it lasted for an eternity, but Jack didn’t mind. He regretted not letting Candy Pop in the first place. Candy Pop leaned into the kiss more, causing Laughing Jack to tip over a bit. Then, Pops stopped kissing Jack, allowing Jack to catch his breath.

“W-woah…” Is all Jack could say. It was just so magical it felt like a dream. Candy Pop, who was now just as red as Jack, snickered. “I-it was nothing.. Don’t mention it, heh.” Pops snickered. Jack chuckled and let out a sigh of relief, he started to walk towards the exit once more. He looked back to Candy Pop. Candy Pop nodded with a smile, as Jack left the circus, to visit for another time...

-𝙰 𝚁σɱαɳƈҽ Ⴆҽƚɯҽҽɳ ƚɯσ 𝙶σσϝႦαʅʅʂ-

𝙰 [SUSSY ANON] ϝαɳ-ϝιƈƚισɳ

𝙻αυɠԋιɳɠ 𝙹αƈƙ 𝚇 𝙲αɳԃყ 𝙿σρ

``𝚃ԋҽ 𝙲𝚒ɾƈ𝚞ʂҽʂ 𝚁σɱαɳƚιƈ 𝙳συ``

~The End~

AWWWWWWEEEWWWWWWWWWEWWE WAIT THIS WAS SO CUTE!!!

I loved it!! I’m not sure if you wanted my constructive opinion but here it is: I loved the descriptions, the lights and the circus was great, the games and the names too, I suggest adding more of feel in it. Not sure if that makes sense but just the FEEL. The humor was great, I liked the jokes you embedded. And the cartoonish descriptions were so cannon- I also like how you wrote the characters with their giddy childish selves. I used to have a really hard time filling in space between times which is another thing I think you should work on. Fillers can get mmmm sometimes so I suggest instead of dragging it out fill with emotion or thought. But overall I loved it, got lost in the story which is what matters so congrats! Great job love <333