#domesticparity

[ais-n]

does boyd want/ever entertain the idea of having kids?

Hi :) I’m sorry I was slow to reply. The reason is this. 

For your question - The short answer is no, not really. However, over the years there have been various fan questions related to Boyd and Hsin and kids, and I tracked them down because I thought you might like to see the different scenarios mentioned and the various answers :) So actually, the second half of the short answer is: in canon, no not really, but in AU fanfic? Dude, everything goes.

QUESTIONS/ANSWERS BELOW, CHRONOLOGICALLY  - MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR END OF THE ICOS SERIES! I’m not putting this behind a cut because some people can’t click those still. Sorry it’s a bit of a long post :(

2014 Q&A questions about if Boyd and Hsin would have kids - it won’t let me direct link so go here: https://aisness.wordpress.com/2016/03/03/2014-dc-evenfall-qa-evenfall-spoilers-only-post-1-of-2/ and do a search for canon - it’s the first mention on that page. (Or else, the question asked was “Will Boyd and Sin ever get a baby? I hope so.”) There’s the answer to that question and then another baby-related question below it.

2014 Q&A clone comment about Sin - https://aisness.wordpress.com/2016/03/03/2014-evenfall-dc-qa-spoilers-past-evenfall-post-2-of-2/ (search for clone - this one isn’t directly kid-related but they mention a kid so it’s another version of a scenario that’s come up)

March 2015 tumblr question about if Boyd wondered if he fathered a child on the Aleixo mission - http://ais-n.tumblr.com/post/114081310581/hi-ais-i-wanted-to-ask-a-pretty-weird-question 

May 7, 2015 tumblr question about how Boyd and Hsin would be like raising a baby: http://ais-n.tumblr.com/post/118395007661/hi-i-love-domesticparenting-aus-in-slash-fic 

May 8, 2015 tumblr question about how they would react to a crying baby in the middle of the night: http://ais-n.tumblr.com/post/118470337241/hi-again-thank-you-and-santino-so-much-for-the

May 22, 2015 tumblr question about how Boyd would react if Hsin came home with a baby he fathered:  http://ais-n.tumblr.com/post/119647685221/hola-what-would-boyds-reaction-be-if-hsin

I feel like somewhere on tumblr maybe, at one point some people had ideas about what a kid could be named that Boyd and Hsin had but I don’t know where that is. For me personally, if someone were to imagine a scenario that would work best for their personalities if the person really wanted to see a kid involved in their lives -- in that context, my favorite scenario is where they take some street kid in for a while before the kid’s like, “aiight cool, I got all I need. SEE YA!” 

Sort of akin to the questions about if Boyd or Hsin would like pets and if so which kind, and ultimately I feel like Boyd works best with wounded wild animals he helps get better before they go back to freedom. Not to equate humans to animals (although as a vegetarian for 20 years I do see similarities in the level of worth and importance and everyone having a soul) -- I just mean, he works best with helping others when they need help, without having to feel responsible for them for the entirety of their lives, because he takes responsibility really seriously and wouldn’t want to introduce someone or something into a less than ideal situation. And Hsin and Boyd will always live in less than ideal situations for something vulnerable like a baby.

But as we say in those links, basically the question of canon is one thing but I always feel like even if something will pretty much never happen in canon for what we can foresee, that doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen in fanon/fanfic if someone wanted. That’s why fanfic is there, to have those scenarios you can’t see in the original work :) I will always support fanfic and fanart to have fun with whatever they want to do, because that’s the whole point of it :)

[atonceonline-blog]

Equal Parenting and Building an Equal Relationship 

We talk a lot about the importance of equal parenting. We talk a lot about valuing caregiving. We know that equality will come with a new generation of feminist men. But practical issues of equality in our personal lives still loom large. How do we have these conversations with ourselves and with our partners? How do discuss the most personal topic of domestic equality in a way that doesn’t feel like an indictment of bad parenting to our partner? Just listen to this podcast! Dr BraVada Garrett-Akinsanya’s beautiful yet practical take on this topic was music to my ears! She leaves us with this thought:

You are connected to me. I value you. I love you. I respect you. And because I hold you in such high esteem, I will do what I can to maximize your joy and minimize your pain. That is what relationships are about, that is intimacy and that is what it means to show true egalitarian support. We can do it. It just takes work. 

This podcast (Along with Anne Marie Slaughter’s book “Unfinished Business”) are indispensable tools in finding parity in our homes. Have a listen to the podcase via  HERE