#doing some dishes later and cooking a whole dinner/meal prep

[gotyouanyway]

i really really need "if you can do it but it hurts you shouldn't do it" hammered into my skull

[timmydraker]

I don’t really like seeing Tim as the ‘won’t eat unless he has to and even then it’s Bat Burger and a granola bar’ kind of person.

This boy was raised RICH, he has got to have the palate of literal gold. I’m talking saffron and almas caviar plated on six thousand dollar plates and two hundred year old dining tables.

That and the fact he’s a nerd, meaning he probably studied what foods are best for weight gain, muscle gain and generally anything good for the body and being physically active.

This boy probably has meal prep that requires two whole fridges filled to the max and walk in pantry with aisles in it.

He doesn’t do Mac and cheese but he does do macaroni, cheese, broccoli, bacon, egg, basil, chives and other herbs I’m not smart enough to name. He probably makes a whole pot of it, stores some away for later, and still finishes it within a few days.

Now if he can’t cook he’s got money for that, he can pay his own personal cook or give his long ass list of dishes and requirements to Alfred who would either agree whole heartedly or be annoyed at how specific this boy needs his mushrooms cooked for ‘ultimate nutritional value’.

He doesn’t do the little servings of the food for dinner, but you can bet he has a dozen or so a day as snacks on top of packet chips, previously mentioned granola bars, and fruit salad from the cafeteria at WE or DI.

He’s still short af, even compared to the female Robin he will always be the shortest by a hair in my mind. He’s also somewhat lean, but he’s a vigilante and uses a Bo on the nightly, so he’s packed with muscle and you can’t have muscle if you don’t have fat to burn off.

This dude can demolish a twenty ounce steak in five minutes if you give him the time.

Leave him without food for twenty four hours and he will complain he can feel his stomach eating itself.

It’s hydrating this man is horrible with, because all he drinks is tea and calls water ‘an option’.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Yandere Radiz and Platonic Goku with a Female Sanji Reader?

Bulma’s latest invention teleported Reader from her world to theirs (It was a total accident) despite this Reader joined them on their adventures and later opened up her very own restaurant (Bulma bought it for her as an apology until she can find a way to send Reader back home) which she named ‘The All Blue Baratie’ (It became instantly popular and famous

When Reader also became Gohan’s ‘Aunty’ (She’s definitely not crying, nope, she’s definitely not crying everytime he calls her ‘Aunty’, her heart is definitely not being squeezed in happiness whenever he gets really happy to see her)

However when a man named Radiz enters the picture and reveals Goku’s origins as well as kidnap Gohan, there’s no way Reader isn’t going to stand around and let her precious nephew get hurt (She’s ready to kick ass, more specifically, Radiz’s Sayian ass

Unknown to her, she’s the definition of ‘Attractive’ to the Sayian Race (Her confidence, power, and savagery is very attractive)

The one thing I can’t stand about Dragon Ball is how the timeline constantly skips a few years (I don’t even know what year or how old everyone is, and they don’t even reveal their age either, so that doesn’t make it easier)

-It had been almost a year since you arrived in this new world, arriving with a bang, literally, you appeared as a result of an explosion after one of Bulma’s inventions backfired.

-You had no idea where you were and after a time, you realized you were in a completely different world!

-Bulma was so apologetic, doing everything she could to send you home, but you weren’t upset, as it was an accident.

-You had been given a chance, thanks to an apology gift from Bulma and her parents, to own and run your own restaurant, The All Blue Baratie, and it instantly became a huge hit, people were coming from all over the world, including celebrities, to try your cooking.

-Your portions were described as ‘healthy’ but affordable meaning Goku and his family were constant visitors, alongside Bulma and Krillin, as you would always give them a five-star meal on a two-star budget!

-You became friends with all of Bulma’s friends, whom she brought to your restaurant quite frequently, Roshi learned very quickly that despite your bright smile and slight boy crazy attitude, that you were not to be trifled with.

-You were way stronger than you looked, your kicks were some of the strongest any of them had seen, even Goku who asked to spar with you.

-Your favorite of the whole group, besides Bulma, was Gohan! He had quickly adopted you as his auntie and neither Chichi or Goku minded, until you started crying, hugging Gohan close, so overwhelmed with happiness that he saw you as his auntie!

-Chichi liked you because you would always give them a discount when Goku would bring you crops from their fields and animals he had hunted, providing his own food, while you just cook it, and she happy that she can get a break from cooking for their huge appetites at least twice a week, sometimes more.

-It a normal Thursday for you, you were preparing for the dinner crowd, prepping vegetables and some of the slow cooked dishes ahead of time when a loud pounding was heard on the front door to your restaurant.

-Normally you would ignore it, but it sounded frantic, and you set your knife down and went to the door and your eyes widened to see Bulma, looking scared and frantic.

-As soon as you opened the door Bulma launched herself into your arms, “Gohan’s been taken!!” you froze, only for a moment before your eyes narrowed, “What?”

-She explained that a man, an alien, named Raditz showed up, attacked Chichi and Goku and took Gohan, to force Goku to fight him, as they were brothers.

-This was almost unreal, until you remembered Gohan’s tail before you demanded to know where Gohan and Raditz were.

-Bulma gave you the coordinates, telling you that Piccolo, Yamcha, and some of the others were on their way too, as well as Goku, to get Gohan back.

-Bulma agreed to give you a ride on her motorcycle, which you thanked her for, “Once I’m there, get out of here as fast as you can.” She nodded, as she had already planned on it.

-You glared as you saw Yamcha already down, and Tien was quickly losing against Raditz and you leapt up, “Get out of here Bulma!”

-Raditz heard a shout and looked around to block another one of these weaklings, waiting for his brother and was stunned when a flaming leg swung into his face, sending him flying back.

-He landed hard, rolling and was quick to stand with a grin, realizing it was someone strong, before he froze, seeing a woman!

-You were wearing your normal outfit, a collared top with a vest, sleeves rolled up, a black pencil skirt with a slit in the right thigh, and black heels, and a tie that you were currently loosening.

-Gohan gasped, as he had been crying, seeing you, “Auntie!!” your eyes narrowed harshly, feeling fury that your darling nephew was upset and scared.

-Raditz charged and you froze as Piccolo and Tien tackled him from the side, keeping him busy and you immediately ran to Gohan, who was in a capsule like spaceship, “Close your eyes and turn into a ball Gohan!”

-The boy did as you told and you swung hard, breaking open the capsule, destroying it with a well-placed heel kick.

-Raditz was stunned, seeing your raw strength and fury, a feral grin on his lips as you picked up Gohan, holding him on your hip before you had to leap up, dodging his swipe.

-A guillotine kick stunned him, but only for a moment as you leapt back, blocking one of his punches with your knees. The fire in your eyes seemed to entice him more and more as you blocked his blows, but he didn’t seem as serious compared to when he was fighting the men.

-It was almost like he was toying with you. He tried to grab Gohan, to toss him aside so you could have a real fight and you kicked up hard, your leg coming up almost perfectly straight into his chin, throwing him back.

-Yamcha then shouted at you, “You need to use your hands to fight Y/N! He’s too powerful for just kicks!”

-You sent an icy glare to Yamcha, and everyone felt it, even Gohan, “These hands are for cooking only!” and as you shouted that, you swung your leg at Raditz, fire covering it again, “Diable Jambe!!” and it slammed into Raditz’s midsection, sending him flying back, completely knocked out, stunning everyone, including Goku who had just arrived.

-You were panting softly, holding Gohan close with one arm as he was hugging you around your neck, sniffling softly and you instantly softened, stroking his cheek gently as he pulled back, whimpering out, “Auntie?” as the men all quickly came over to apprehend Raditz.

-Everyone went back to your restaurant, and you put a sign on it, telling everyone that it was closed for the day due to a personal issue.

-Raditz wasn’t as scary when he woke up, completely bound and unable to move, just loud, demanding to be set free and making a ruckus.

-You walked by, carrying food for everyone and you shoved a meat stick into his mouth, shutting him up, not seeing his eyes sparkling at the tasty food as he ate his way through it.

-You passed by Roshi who thank you warmly, putting his hand on your rear like it wasn’t anything and you squeaked and went to kick him before a meat bone came shooting across the room and hit the old man in the head, sending him flying.

-You turned to Raditz who was glaring harshly while Goku was laughing hard, finding it funny as you picked up the bone, “Oi- don’t play with your food!”

-Raditz grinned at your anger, as if he thought it was attractive, “Just staking my claim- you’re my mate!”

-Jaws dropped and everyone turned white in shock at his bold claim as he demanded more food like what he said was no big deal.

-Raditz was calmer once he had more food and surprisingly, he was very forthcoming with information, in exchange for even more food, telling you all about the looming threat coming and he was willing to vouch for this world, so that Vegeta and Nappa, who were scheduled to be coming as well, wouldn’t attack, in exchange for help defeating Frieza, a powerful alien warlord.

-Now that there was time to prepare, preparations could be made with the hopes of preventing the slaughter of innocents and preparing to defeat Frieza.

-Goku decided to trust his brother, which was shocking to most everyone in the room and Gohan ran to you, clinging to your leg as you trusted Goku, but if any damage came to your restaurant, you were gonna break Goku.

-Raditz behaved and you were stunned, learning that the way you acted in the fight, being so angry and fierce, was actually how Saiyan women were, and to him, you were the perfect mate.

-You were irritated with his jealous tendencies, growling at other men, treating you more like an object than a person, and claiming that you were his.

-You gave Raditz a part time job for your restaurant, hunting and fishing for you, in exchange for food and getting to stay with you, as he liked your cooking and threw a tantrum when he wasn’t allowed to be with you, and you just allowed it to avoid more headaches.

-Raditz crossed the line wen Goku and Gohan came for a visit and a meal, and the little boy ran to you, “Auntie!!” and you were quickly kneeling, all smiles to hug him close, before you heard Raditz growl at him.

-Your glare was hotter than the sun and instantly Raditz was showing throat to see, seeing the flames of hell behind you, “Did you just growl at your nephew?!”

-Goku froze, trying not to draw any attention to himself with hopes he would be safe from your wrath. Raditz could see how soft you were with Gohan, with a child, and his eyes seemed to sparkle at the realization.

-You fed the three Saiyan men, who all thanked you for the food, something Raditz learned to do that you appreciated, and you would give him warm, bright smiles.

-Once the father and son were gone for the day, Raditz approached and wrapped his arms around you from behind, spooking you, but at the same time surprising you, as the embrace was soft.

-You turned to look up at him, seeing the heated look in his own eyes, “I’ll give you what you want, Y/N. I’ll give you a child!”

-Your face turned bright red before WHACK!!! You stomped away from him, your face bright red as he was now on the ground, several large lumps on the back of his head.

-He sat up, seeing you holding your cheeks and he couldn’t help but grin, seeing you acting so shy with the idea of having a child. It made him desire you more.

[ejzah]

In Miss Blye’s Class, Part 20

***

Since neither of them had planned on spending the whole day together, Kensi and Deeks decided to part ways for a few hours. Kensi knew she needed to finish some prep for next week, just in case they ended up spending tomorrow together too.

As she walked back into her apartment, her phone buzzed with a text from Nell.

Hey KayKay, wanna grab lunch?

Sorry, I already ate.

Rude.

I know, I’m a terrible friend. I was with Deeks.

Oh, then say no more. Actually, say lots more!

Kensi rolled her eyes at the winking and kissing emojis Nell added to her response.

Seriously, I feel bad I’ve barely spent any time with you recently.

Hey, a good friend never steps in the way of true love. Besides, you can pay me back by giving me all the dirty little details.

You’re awful.

And you love me for it. So when will my best friend be available again?

Kensi dipped ducked her head sheepishly, even though she was all alone, debating what to type back.

Um, maybe tomorrow evening? Caleb’s visiting with his grandma so we’re probably spending most of the weekend together.

Kensi Marie Blye! Nell responded and Kensi could almost hear her delighted shock through the screen.

Not like that.

Well why the hell not? Climb that gorgeous lawyer like a tree.

Nell Jones! That’s it. You’re out of control.

You know you want toooo!

Ok I’m putting you on silent.

Shaking her head, Kensi grabbed the binder of paperwork she brought home with her yesterday, and started in on the most intense grading session of her career.

***

While Deeks did had a few contracts to finalize, the real reason he’d suggested taking some time at home to prepare for their dinner. Given the late notice, he knew there was no way he’d get a reservation for one of the nicer restaurants.

Kensi wouldn’t care where they ate, he was almost certain, but he wanted their first real dinner together, alone, to be special. He’d decided on cooking dinner, but that required a trip for supplies.

When he got back three stores later—the first two were all out of bed tips—he started prepping potatoes, carrots, and onions and seared the beef tips. He hadn’t made this recipe in quite a while. Probably at least a couple years, so he had to actually pull out the stained cookbook his mom had passed down to him when he moved to college (the particular page he needed had actually fallen out years ago). He probably should have preserved all the recipes on index cards, but there was something special, almost sentimental, about squinting at the faded type and trying to interpret his mom’s handwritten notes.

Singing under his breath, he peeled several cloves of garlic, imagining Caleb’s reaction if he found out he’d missed out on one of his favorite meals. Of course, Grandma Deeks would almost certainly be filling him with a combination of her own home cooked delights and his favorite junk food, so he’d call it even.

He got into the flow of the things, chopping and sautéing that by the time he looked up from dumping a pot of perfectly boiled potatoes into a colander, it was almost seven, which gave him a little over an hour to finish everything up.

The beef tips were just about done, so he covered them with foil, setting them off to the side in the oven, and hurried out back to set up a table with the blue dishes head bought on a whim a few weeks ago because they reminded him of the ocean. Maybe surrounding the perimeter of the patio with lights and miniature lanterns was a tiny bit overkill, but he didn’t believe in doing things by halves.

Decorations and table set, he returned to the kitchen for the finishing touches. The doorbell rang just as he was tasting the gravy he just made.

“Oh yeah, you still got it, Marty,” he muttered to himself, then called over his shoulder, “Be there in a minute!”

He stashed a few dirty pans he hadn’t gotten around to cleaning in the dishwasher and glanced around to make sure there weren’t unsightly messes he’d missed. Though at this point, Kensi had probably seen worse and it didn’t seem to faze her in the least.

Kensi was patiently waiting on the front porch when he opened the door. She wore a red sundress, this one with a halter neck that displayed the defined muscles and lines of her shoulders and collar bones to perfection. Deeks didn’t know if she’d chosen it with him in mind, but the color suited her perfectly.

“Hey.” He kissed her briefly as she stepped over the threshold. “You look amazing.”

“Hi. And thank you.” Her eyes drifted over him approvingly, though she didn’t comment on his appearance. She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes. “What smells so delicious?”

“Dinner.”

“Wait, you cooked for me? I thought we were going out,” Kensi said, turning in the direction of the kitchen, though she couldn’t see from here.

“Yeah. I, uh, wanted to surprise you.” He shrugged, suddenly overcome with the rare bout of uncertainty that Kensi. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Are you kidding? I’ve loved everything you’ve made.” Kensi clapped her hands together, her enthusiasm making Deeks grin. “Ok, so I’m ready to be dazzled with your cooking expertise.”

“Follow me,” Deeks said, holding out his hand. She took it without question, letting him lead her out to patio.

“Oh my god, Deeks, this is beautiful!” Kensi exclaimed, turning in a circle to take in the twinkle lights strung around the patio and the table decorated with candles. “You did all this yourself?”

“Yeah, I told you my mom’s a caterer. I used to help her set up when I was a kid. I can turn a napkin into a swan in 20 seconds,” he responded, making Kensi giggle.

“Impressive.” She spun around in a circle, bringing her within reach of Deeks. Settling her hands on his shoulders, she covered his mouth with hers for a brief but sweet kiss. “Seriously though, this is amazing. Thank you, again.”

He smiled, pleased by her reaction. “Here for all your party planning needs,” he joked.

Kensi tipped her head to the side, her expression shifting slightly.

“What are you thinking about?” Deeks prompted, giving her hand a shake.

“Oh, all of this. You. How much my life has changed,” she said, moving her hand around to encompass Deeks and their surroundings. “I didn’t realize how much I was…missing until I met you Deeks. I mean, I was happy enough, but not like this. A few months ago, I would have never taken a day off like this. You’ve made everything brighter, and fun. Carefree. You and Caleb. You’ve changed my life without even knowing it.”

“Kens—” Deeks shook his head, overwhelmed by everything Kensi had just attributed to his influence. It was heady and a little scary.

She leaned up and kissed him, lingering for several moments. When their lips parted, she brushed his hair back from his temple with her knuckles. “Thank you.”

“You know you’ve changed my life just as much, maybe more,” Deeks told her, laughing breathily. “I mean, I was kind of prepared to become a hermit and spend the rest of my life alone. Then this really hot kindergarten teacher walked into my life.”

“Oh my god, you’re ridiculous.” Kensi rolled her eyes, but couldn’t hold back a chuckle. “I meant it, you have changed my life, Marty Deeks.”

***

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this little mix of fluff, romance, and humor.

I’m sorry if it’s unrealistic, but I can’t bear to write in text jargon.

[fireintheflames]

Some General Low Energy Cooking Ideas Pt 1

As we head towards fall here in Michigan, I'm gonna start losing my summer energy, so I thought I'd put together a list of relatively low energy meals/snacks now so when the big annual winter depression hits I don't have to think about it and I eat less delivery! I've also labeled which ones don't need a fridge, because my fridge is like a weird cursed location where if it goes in, it doesn't come out. This is a multi-part series, since I will probably run out of space!

Pt 1: No Cooking/No Dishes/Minimal Clean-up These meals require the bare minimum of effort. No heating, no dishes, most only have a wrapper as trash. Downside is a lot of these can be expensive for what you get. Breakfast: -High Cost:Cliff/Granola/Protein Bars. I keep a box around at all times for breakfast, I really like the caffeinated ones because I hate making coffee in the morning! A nice, easy treat! Can be expensive, but you pay for convenience I guess. (No fridge required) -Gummi vitamins! No calories, but a little treat to start the day! I do a multivitamin, vitamin D, and fiber chews. (No fridge required) -No prep fruits, like grapes. I keep a bowl full of whatever was on sale (apples, plums, ect.) on my counter to eat, and always have bananas (more on those later). (No fridge if you buy small amounts and eat it consistently, fridge is necessary for bulk storage of most fresh fruits) -Pre-cut fruits, like the kind fruit trays have. Same concept, more refrigeration, more likely to contain watermelon (I suck at hydrating, watermelon is my friend) (Fridge absolutely required, these will get nasty fast if left out). -Dried fruits, especially craisins/raisins. Just bare fist those straight out of the container. (No fridge required) Can be combined with the below: -Cereal out of the bag! Works best with cereal with big chunks and no powders, think like Kix or captain crunch. Avoid cinnamon toast crunch and similar beasts, your hands get coated and sticky. (No fridge required) -Small yogurt drinks, like yakult or kafir. Single serve milk or juice cartons can also fill this niche, but I've only got one fridge and I am more likely to drink the yogurt. (Please keep yogurt and milk in the fridge. Juice boxes are usually shelf stable, but always check!) -Trail mix. Kars is the best, pick your flavor. Or you can make your own in advance and live off that! (No fridge required) -UCC canned coffee. This stuff is the bomb if you can find it. It's like the only non-sweet coffee drink out there. (No fridge required, but definitely best when cold. Can in theory be heated in a mug, but that's cooking adjacent for me) -High Cost: Soylent drink/meal replacement shakes/drinks. An absolute last resort, usually expensive and bad tasting, but damn if they don't replace a meal. This is specifically referring to the pre-made ones, not the powder. The coffee mocha Soylent is tolerable, otherwise pick your poison between weirdly powdery chocolate milks. (Don't get the ones that need refrigeration unless you like them. I don't, this is my desperation food and does not deserve a place in my fridge).

Lunch/Dinner: -Snack pack tuna kits. My go to for lunch, usually comes with crackers, a tuna salad can, the big ones have cookies and fruit! Run usually between $1.00 and $3.00, depending on size and brand! I like the Rosemary and Garlic ones from bumblebee. You can also make your own with tuna pouches/cans and crackers, but that does require a spoon. (No fridge required) -Lunchables. Pizza lunchables. Get the kind with the juice box when they are on sale, off brand works just as well! (Should be kept in a fridge, but probably fine for a day or two if you forget) -Baby carrots/snap peas/tiny tomatos. Get some veggies in ya! Best when fresh picked, but this is winter in MI, so more likely bought from meijer.(Fridge recommended if you don't want them to dry out, or if you don't eat the whole bag at once. Fresh picked during summer should be eaten straight off the plant, as nature intended (or rinsed for safety)) -Cheese sticks and meat, I usually go with pepperoni or beef jerky, but in theory any pre-cooked non-heated meat works. (Fridge highly recommended) -Pita bread and pre-made tabbouleh. This shit is the bomb. No need for a plate, that's what the pita's for! (Refrigerate the tabbouleh, if any survives. I will eat a container of tabbouleh in one go. It's so good! You can sub hummus, I just don't like the texture) -Chips and salsa. I just dip straight into the jar, but I understand that is both bad form and not always feasible. Tostitos scoops work best for this maneuver. Can also be done with cheese dips and pretzels, queso in jars, and any other sort of pre-made dip. (Some dips require a fridge, some don't. Chips and pretzels do not). -High cost: Shrimp cocktail platter. Remember to thaw, then eat. Best when paired with veggies. (Freezer/Fridge Required)

Deserts/Snacks (obviously there are whole aisles dedicated to this at most American grocery stores. I'm just gonna list my favorites that have some form of built in portions. You will note that I like crunchy textures.): -Strawberry wafer cookies. Even the low sugar ones are good! Nice and crunchy. Pirouettes and similar also fall in this category(No fridge required) -Fig newtons! Apple newtons! Most neutigrain bars! Date bars Give me some fruit filling!(No fridge required) -Cherry poptarts, frosted. Pretty much any "breakfast pastry" works better as a desert for me. Many granola bars fall in this category as well (looking at you, peanut butter chewy dippers). If it's marketed to kids, it's a dessert for me! (No fridge required, but General Mills Chewy Dipeprs are best cold.) -Fruit snacks, especially the fruit veggie snacks. Individual packs are good for me, because these things are the bomb!(No fridge required) -Any of the Kalbee baked snacks. Pea pods, shrimp chips, weird crab flavored things my beloved. They stab you when you eat them, thus preventing me from eating them all!(No fridge required) -Salt and vinegar chips. They prevent you from eating too many by being physically painful. Kettle chipped increases both the damage and delight.(No fridge required) -High Cost:Ice cream novelties~ Popsicles! Orangesicles! Klondike bars! I really like Coconut Outshine bars, they are expensive but so good!! (Freezer required)

[soypap-blog]

My Healthy University Food Shop

I created this shopping list to buy in bulk and last for weeks, maybe a month, it's mainly just for dinners but most people have toast and cereal for breakfast and a sandwich for lunch or something, just add those bits in when needed. I like bulk cooking or meal prepping because it saves me so much time and it really helps with portion control. Essentials to keep stocked up all the time (mainly spices, they are cheap but make or break a meal):

Cumin (ground or seeds) Paprika (sweet or smoked) Chilli powder / Cayenne pepper Ground Coriander Turmeric Black Pepper Ginger (ground and only use a little)

Oregano Basil Thyme Rosemary

Garlic (cloves or paste) Stock cubes (great in any stew based dish)

Main food shop, really bare bones but can do a lot with the right spices:

🥖 Carbs:

1 x Long Grain Brown Rice (1kg)

1 x Wholewheat Fusilli Pasta (500g)

🥫 Tinned Goods:

4 x Red Kidney Beans in Water (400g each)

12 x Chopped Tomatoes in Tomato Juice (400g each — 3 packs of 4)

4 x Chickpeas (400g each)

🥦 Vegetables:

1 x Crunchy & Sweet Carrots (1kg)

1 x Tender & Crunchy Broccoli (360g)

4 x Packs of Sweet & Crunchy Red Onions (3 onions per pack — total 12 onions)

4 x Packs of Sweet Peppers (3 peppers per pack — total 12 peppers)

🍗 Meat & Protein:

3 x Chicken Breast Fillets (1kg each — total 3kg)

3 x 5% Fat Beef Mince (400g each — total 1.2kg)

1 x Arla Skyr Natural Icelandic Style Yogurt (1kg)

🧂 Cooking Ingredients & Condiments:

1 x Oxo Red Wine Stock Pots (4x20g)

The oxo red wine stock pots are amazing for pastas and chillies, if you are bulk cooking then use more. Some recipes I usually cook with this are: Chilli con carne Chicken or mince currys (balti, tikka, madras) Burrito bowls Pastas seasoned Chicken and rice Char grilled smokey chicken with veg There are so many options. I'll probably post what I make and how I made it later on. This is so cringe this whole blog thing but it eases my mind and its relaxing

[carriehobbs]

i was asked to elaborate and it's actually two interrelated dramas, so this is going to get long and complicated under the cut

tw for discussions of pregnancy

so generally speaking, ellie hates being pregnant. certainly there are some moments of her pregnancies that are absolutely miraculous (seeing them on ultrasounds, feeling them kick, the first time she looks at her body in the mirror and realizes she has a visible baby bump... those sorts of things), but as a general whole, pregnancy is a crucible that ellie endures because she knows that she will get a child she loves at the end of it.

ellie's first pregnancy (with her and gray's daughter, hyacinth) isn't physically difficult for her in the sense of having complications, but is unexpectedly emotionally difficult, especially during the first trimester. she has horrific morning sickness and can barely keep anything down, she has unexpected mood swings, she's constantly exhausted... she just feels physically (and emotionally) very bad for most of her first trimester.

she's pretty miserable, but that just makes her feel worse because she was so excited when she got pregnant. she and gray had been talking about their future together for years (and kids had always been a part of that). she wanted this baby so badly, but now that she's actually pregnant, she's so miserable she sometimes almost resents them.

and how poorly she feels interferes with her daily life, too. gray can't cook, for example, but ellie can (she's not as good as nick, but she's certainly good enough), so she cooks for them and gray does the dishes (so that they each have a daily responsibility that contributes towards the functioning of their household). but now there are nights where she comes home from work and sits down on the couch to fold laundry before she starts dinner so there'll be food on the table for when gray gets home later that evening, but next thing she knows she's waking up hours later when gray gets home and she's neither cooked nor folded laundry.

the thing about ellie is that she genuinely likes that she's the one who cooks for herself and gray. she discovers fairly early into their relationship (before they're living together, even) that she really likes feeling like she has something that only she can do that contributes to their relationship and their lives together (before they move in together she'll do meal prep for gray for the week, where he buys all the groceries and does the dishes and keeps her company and in exchange she cooks for him). but now this core activity that is crucial to her sense of identity and value within their relationship is being threatened.

and of course, because this is one of my characters and nothing can ever be resolved simply for them, ellie doesn't tell gray about how much she's struggling (she clearly is and gray can tell, but from his end he doesn't really know how to approach her about something that she evidently does not want to talk about). it's hard enough to admit that (she feels like) she's failing as a mother and as a wife to herself, how can she tell gray that that's how she feels? but this also means that she's pulling away from him - there are more nights spent in separate beds, more blown kisses from across the room, more sitting on different couches while they watch jeopardy! together. and the physical closeness that is present in their relationship is important to ellie, so this distance makes things even harder too.

and because ellie is my character, she keeps it as to-herself as she possibly can until she can't anymore and it inevitably erupts in a big cry. but it also means that they can finally really have a conversation about this, and gray can be there to offer her the support he's been wanting to give but that she wasn't ready to accept. and gray tells her that he truly appreciates and is grateful for all the things she does for him and their relationship and their family, but they aren't why he loves her. he doesn't love her because she cooks for him or does the laundry. he loves her because she's her. and, if she really needs to have something she feels like she's doing for them and their relationship, well, she's literally growing their child, so that's a pretty significant thing she's doing for them right now.

and then, because gray is smart, once she's calmed down a bit, he suggests that she call her mom. because hope has gone through two pregnancies of her own and might be able to relate to what ellie is going through and offer advice and support that gray can't offer himself. and because sometimes a girl just needs her mom. and while ellie is calling hope and crying all over again in their bedroom, gray steps away to make a discrete phone call of his own. he calls nick, because of course he does, and without getting too much into it and sharing ellie's business without asking her first, asks nick if he would be willing to take over meal prep for them while ellie is pregnant (gray would do it himself, but no one wants that). he wants to take things off ellie's plate. and if she wants to be responsible for being the one to warm up a pre-made casserole that nick sent them, then that's a significantly smaller obligation than making that casserole from scratch.

ellie's second trimester is a marked improvement (though, that's not hard). for the most part, her third trimester is uncomfortable in the usual ways. the third trimester, however, is also when ellie comes to the realization that her child might inherit her family's pollard scores. this is not, to be clear, the realization that her child might be a ment: given ellie's family history and gray's own pollard score, ellie kind of automatically assumes that her and gray's children will be ments. but this is the moment that she realizes that her child might be a ment with a 60-mile brain range. she's terrified that her child will suffer the way hope suffered being constantly connected to her mind in a way they were never meant to be. from a pragmatic perspective, too, she has no idea how she would manage to parent a child who can hear all of her thoughts and who she can't lie to (i don't have children of my own, but i've spoken to my parents and other parents i know about raising children and what i've learned from them is that there are a lot of white lies you tell to your kids). and, almost more than that, ellie fears that the child could inherit her pollard score, and that her mind blindness (and all of the struggles that come with it) could be something that she unintentionally passed down.

i think ellie was always somewhat aware of these possibilities, somewhere in the back of her mind, but she always had more pressing things to think about than pollard scores. but this is the first moment where it really startles-her-awake-in-the-middle-of-the-night hits her that these things are possibilities. it's a fear that grips her intensely for the rest of her pregnancy (to the point where one of the first things she asks gray when he holds hyacinth for the first time is if he can hear her thoughts - she has been feeling this fear for so long and she just needs the uncertainty to end, one way or another). remember this fear, because it'll come back later (it's part of pregnancy drama number 2).

(this is actually a realization that all of my buttons who have children have at some point - but how they handle that realization can be very different to how ellie handles hers, as they can all, at times, be very different people.)

(i'm not permanently settled on it, but i think hyacinth inherits gray's telekinesis. gray mentions kind of offhandedly on his route that he never had anyone who could teach him how to use his abilities and that he had to learn how his telekinesis works almost entirely on his own, trial-by-fire style. i think there would be something really meaningful, maybe even healing, in gray being able to teach his daughter how to use her telekinesis, in being able to break this cycle and give her the support he wasn't able to have.)

ellie's second pregnancy (with her and gray's son, please don't ask me what his name is or his pollard score, though i lean towards him not being a ment because i kind of like the parallelism with nick/ellie and hyacinth/younger brother) is much easier. it's still really rough in some places and isn't an easy pregnancy by any means, but it is easier than her first one was. part of this, i think, is because the pregnancy itself was just easier. part of this was absolutely because, this time, ellie and gray had a sense of what kind of supports they would need from their friends and family (and from each other), and they were proactive about ensuring those supports were in place. they didn't wait for things to get bad to try to find solutions.

what is more difficult about her second pregnancy, though, is that those fears about her child's possible pollard score come back, and they start earlier (in her second trimester, instead of into her third) and are more intense. this time, she's also plagued by the unshakeable conviction that she's already gotten lucky once, and her luck is going to run out. hyacinth's brain range (if she's a ment) is manageable: she is pushing her luck by having a second child.

the second pregnancy drama is about this fear. see, ellie and gray knew they wanted to have two kids (ellie wants her children to have siblings, especially since she has such a positive relationship with nick) and it was a number that felt right for them, but it's always been more "two, maybe three kids" than any hard limit. and so a few years after their son is born, they start discussing if they want to (and ultimately decide that they do want to) have a third kid.

the issue is that ellie's fear that one of her kids will have an unmanageably-large brain range comes back full-force, and before she's even pregnant. she has not gotten her iud out and she's already breaking down about it, it's that bad. the stress and psychological distress of this intense and unrelenting fear is so bad that, very shortly after they decide to try for a third child, it starts affecting her pretty severely: it affects ellie as an individual, it affects ellie as an employee, it affects her ability to show up for her family, it affects her marriage. and they've not even conceived, so whatever distress ellie is feeling would likely last however long it took them to actually conceive a child, as well as the entire pregnancy before it stood a chance of going away.

and ellie knows that that's not something that's sustainable for her or for gray or for their family. but she can't call it off. she knows that she should, that she needs to for her own and her family's wellbeing, but she just can't. she can't live with herself for being the person who decided that they weren't going to have a third child. she just can't.

and so gray does it. she comes home one day and gray has sent the kids to sleep over at uncle nick and aunt sally's. they sit next to each other on their bed and he looks her in the eyes and tells her in a steady, firm voice, "i changed my mind. i don't think we should try to have a third child. i think our family is absolutely perfect the way it is right now." and every time ellie tries to question it, to push at how he's really feeling about this, is he sure this is what he wants, he just repeats in the same steady voice, "i changed my mind. i think our family is perfect how it is right now."

and they never really talk about it explicitly, but even in the exact moment it's happening they both know what's really going on, and that the other person knows that they know. ellie can't live with herself for being the reason they stop trying, so gray makes the decision to stop his choice. he's the one who changed his mind, he's the one who decided that what they have now is enough.

(and, in gray's mind, while he is doing this to spare ellie the emotional pain of having to be the one to call it off, it's not really a lie. they didn't know that things would get this bad when they discussed having a third kid, so when they agreed to try, they were agreeing to try under a specific set of assumed conditions and circumstances. but their actual conditions and circumstances were different - and so, so too was his decision. if they'd known it would be this hard for ellie when they first discussed it, he would have said no then.)

eventually, after things get better, they do discuss rather matter-of-factly that they could adopt if they really wanted to have a third child. however, i don't think that they ever actually do: it wouldn't be right to adopt during the aftermath, when everyone feels such complicated emotions about what happened. additionally, even though it could have been a lot worse, this always lingers as a bit of a sore spot for ellie. they end up very happy with their two kids, though, and in the end gray was right: their family is perfect (for them), just the way it is.

i had way too many thoughts today about the gray/ellie pregnancy drama

[ella-healthy-foods]

Healthy Eating on a Time Crunch: Meal Prep Tips for Busy Schedules

Oh, the daily hustle and bustle of life, a never-ending roller coaster of tasks, commitments, and deadlines, leaving you gasping for breath and craving a decent meal. Sound familiar? You, my friend, are not alone. The modern world has left us scrounging for time, and sadly, our diets are the first to suffer. But fear not, for I come bearing the secrets of meal prep and healthy eating on a busy schedule.

First, let's address the elephant in the room - the dreadful consequences of a poor diet for the busy bees like yourself. Nutrient deficiencies, weight gain, low energy, mood swings, and even the dreaded "hangry" beast are lurking around every corner of your chaotic life, just waiting to pounce. Surely, you don't want to fall prey to these diet demons, do you?

Well, you're in luck! I'm here to guide you through the intricate world of batch cooking and freezing meals, creating weekly or monthly meal plans, and whipping up delicious dishes in just 30 minutes. So buckle up and get ready to embark on the flavorful journey of healthy eating, even when you're racing against the clock.

1. Embrace the Magic of Batch Cooking and Freezing Meals

Batch cooking is the superhero of meal prep for busy folks like you. Simply put, it's the art of cooking large quantities of food at once and freezing them in individual portions for convenient reheating later. Imagine coming home after a long day and having a delicious, home-cooked meal ready in minutes. No more sad, soggy takeout for you!

The key to successful batch cooking is selecting recipes that freeze well, like soups, stews, casseroles, and even some pasta dishes. Spend a few hours on the weekend whipping up your culinary creations, portion them into containers, and let the freezer work its magic. Your future self will thank you.

2. Plan Your Weekly or Monthly Meal Plan Like a Pro

Creating a weekly or monthly meal plan may seem daunting, but trust me, it's worth it. You'll save time, money, and all-important brainpower by knowing exactly what's on the menu. Plus, you'll avoid the dreaded "what's for dinner?" question, which, let's face it, can lead to some pretty unhealthy choices.

Start by picking a few go-to recipes that you can rotate throughout the week, and don't forget to include some quick, 30-minute dishes for those extra hectic days. Your meal plan should be flexible, allowing you to swap ingredients and make adjustments as needed. And remember, practice makes perfect – you'll get better at meal planning with time.

3. Master the Art of the 30-Minute Meal

Not every meal needs to be an elaborate, time-consuming project. Sometimes, you just need to whip up a tasty, nutritious dinner in under 30 minutes, and for these moments, salads, stir-fries, and grain bowls are your best friends.

The secret to lightning-fast meals lies in having pre-cut vegetables and fruits on hand. You can either buy them pre-chopped or spend some time on the weekend slicing and dicing for the week ahead. Combine these pre-cut veggies with hummus for a satisfying snack, or toss them into a salad, stir-fry, or grain bowl for a quick, filling meal.

4. Stock Up on Time-Saving Ingredients and Tools

Having a well-stocked pantry and a few handy kitchen gadgets can save you precious time and energy. Keep your kitchen stocked with healthy, versatile ingredients like whole grains, canned beans, and an assortment of sauces and spices that can be easily transformed into mouthwatering meals.

Invest in a few time-saving tools like a slow cooker, an Instant Pot, or even a simple rice cooker to take some of the stress out of meal prep. These gadgets can turn seemingly complicated dishes into easy, set-it-and-forget-it masterpieces.

There you have it – a treasure trove of tips and tricks to help you conquer meal prep and healthy eating on a busy schedule. With a little planning, creativity, and a good dose of humor, you can wave goodbye to sad, tasteless meals and hello to a world of delicious, nutritious, and time-saving dishes. So go forth and conquer, dear reader, and may your meal prep journey be ever triumphant!

Check out the selected fruit and vegetables supplements on Amazon: https://amzn.to/42IHC2m

[jacqcrisis]

So monster man doesn't eat cooked food all that much. While he can digest cooked meat just fine, it’s rather pointless as he gets more out of it raw and then he can actually eat the bones as he needs to since cooked bones tend to splinter and cause tearing in the digestive tract. Other forms of food (vegetables, fruits, complex carbs, etc) can be eaten but just aren’t the best for him, and need to be consumed sparingly in order to avoid a whole host of issues.

Despite this, he genuinely loves cooking. It's a passion of his. It's his job. He gets a lot out of making good good food for people who can eat it. So, when his boytoy moves in with him, he jumps on the chance without hesitation, especially when he learns gym bro can't cook for beans and generally eats the same things every single day (which monster dude has a lot of opinions on and they all boil down to 'you can eat whatever you want and you choose unseasoned rice, broccoli, and chicken breast every fucking day???')

Thus, in that period of them actively being roommates and when monster dude just figures they are in the lowest key relationship possible, he starts meal prepping for the guy whenever he can. Stays up late on Sunday, makes his shit for the week, puts it away and ready for him to just grab and take to class or work or whatever. He uses it and the dinners he sometimes makes to test new recipes out, try a new technique, or to just make his unknowing boyfriend happy (also it does sometimes net him a blowjob in the kitchen. nice).

As part of this, he'll make the lunches look nice. He's a goddamn cook after all, and he's going to make these pre-prepped meals as presentable and attractive as possible. Cut the strawberries into little roses, add some colorful garnishes and edible flowers he 'borrowed' from the restaurant, draw shit with condiments and sauces; that kind of thing. It's a relaxing way to end his Sunday while his boyfriend finishes homework or whatever. He’s not explaining himself any further.

And his effort does not go unappreciated. Gym bro, still assuming they're just roommates/FwB, is over the moon about it. It puts a smile on his face to see what he's getting for lunch that week, makes his Monday when he opens the first tupperware container, he posts the neater ones on social media, he smugly shows his coworkers/classmates which eventually becomes a thing of ‘what’s gym bro getting this week?’. 

One older lady coworker, after seeing enough of these ‘cute little lunches’, asks jokingly if his roommate is single and looking for anyone. Gym bro tells her he 'thinks he's single' but he’s glad cause if his monstrous roommate did date someone, he probably wouldn’t be cooking for him so much. The irony of the situation is completely lost on him, and even more so when he goes back to the apartment later and makes an offhand comment while doing the dishes that if monster dude isn’t careful, he’s gunna marry him. A comment monster dude thinks about a lot for months after.

Of course, he is devastated to learn two years later his boyfriend didn’t know they were dating at the time.

[lizziedoesvetpath]

Seconding leftovers! It's easy to batch cook when you're cooking for one, because every recipe is for more than you need, so you don't have to figure out how to scale up. I've been cooking for one the whole 4 years I've been in grad school, and it saves so much time for me to cook 2-4 servings worth at a time - both in cooking time and in dishes time.

If you don't want to eat the same meal several lunches or dinners in a row, you should get acquainted with your freezer too. It's hard to get many ingredients in a single serving size, so you can prep components (veges, meats, sauces etc.) and then freeze them as single servings. Many things freeze better cooked, so do a little googling first on the best state to freeze different things in. Pre-cooking also saves time later which, when you have to do all the cooking and all the dishes, is invaluable. When you want a meal, you can pull out a single serve of each ingredient you need, thaw, and assemble. There are a few recipe books out there that work on a similar concept without the freezing - the first day you prep batches of the basic components and then they provide like 4 different ways to recombine them (try "Cook Once, Eat All Week"). And you can, of course, freeze meal portions too (great if you're busy or need some emergency meals on hand while you get used to the grocery shopping). Soups and casseroles freeze and thaw remarkably well.

Do you wonderful bitches or any members of the bitch nation have any advice on cooking for one? I’ll be moving out on my own soon and any tips would be much appreciated

(Sorry, I couldn't help myself. That sad baked potato is just so eloquent.)

I love this question! Let's crowdsource it, Bitch Nation: any advice on how to cook for one?

My advice, as a frugal bitch who usually cooks for 2, is to embrace leftovers. Cook stuff that keeps well for 2-4 people, put your leftovers in containers, and eat them for your next meal. Saves time on cooking and cuts out the hassle of figuring out how to cook for 1.

If You Don’t Eat Leftovers I Don’t Even Want To Know You 

How to Shop for Groceries like a Boss 

You Should Learn To Cook. Here's Why. 

Did we just help you out? Join our Patreon!

[lexa-lives-in-us]

Saving Tips for Hard Times

I found this old document where I collected a series of tips to save money. This is all part of my experience of when I was near homeless, and some work depending on where you live, some don’t. Here we go.

BILLS:

1. The optimum temperature for refrigerator operation is 5°C, and -18°C for freezer operation. As a rule of thumb, for each additional degree of refrigeration output about six percent more electricity is used.

2. Unplug your appliances. Lamps, microwave, tv, computers etc. They don't need to be plugged until you use them, and it saves energy to keep them unplugged. Therefore, money.

3. Do homework for phone companies and internet plans. Call them! Often they are toll free and if you mentioned that you were already with them or thinking of going with them and then found out another company had a better deal, they could offer you deals for lower prices. I had to do it all the time for my phone, until they couldn't really offer anything better.

4. BIKE. Invest in a used bike if you can, especially for the warmer months. It offsets the transit costs and better your health.

5. WALK. That's the same as the bike, honestly.

6. Pay your bills on time, you will avoid late fees which can up to HUNDREDS of dollars wasted over the course of a year. If you can, set up automatic payments so you don’t forget.

FRIDGE:

1. Every time the refrigerator door is opened, cold air escapes and warm ambient air enters. To compensate for the temperature increase in its interior, the refrigerator must then use energy to bring the temperature back down. Always avoid opening the door unnecessarily and for too long.

2. When defrosting frozen food place it in the refrigerator. Not only does this ensure that the food is carefully defrosted, its presence cools down the refrigerator interior, reducing the amount of work that the compressor has to do, and therefore lowering energy consumption.

3. Never put warm food in the refrigerator as this will heat up the interior, as well as other stored foods. Hot food should always be allowed to cool to room temperature before placing it in the refrigerator

MONEY:

1. Keep all the containers like glass bottles, juice bottles, jars, cans etc. Look for your Return-It depot and have trips to return them. They give back coins for laundry, small expenses etc

2. Use that junk mail. Go through it, find coupons for food, for essentials like toilet paper or shampoo.

3. CHECK. THAT. DOLLARSTORE. They often have things like pasta, ketchup, toilet paper, batteries etc for literally 1 dollar.  Pasta is pasta, toilet paper is toilet paper. Seriously. Don't need to spend 5$ on a shampoo bottle when you can have it for 1/5 of the price.

4. Do homework and check with different banks for which one offers a better plan. Some of them are willing to help out. Sit down with their advisors, find the best solution!

5. Use the envelope system! For example, one envelope with a label “food” the other with “entertainment” the other with “bills”. Then set the right amount of cash for each. That’s what you’re allowed to spend each month. If you realize you need more for food, grab it from the entertainment envelope. Adapt and arrange as needed.

6. If you can, set up an automatic saving (example 50$ every paycheck) for both regular saving AND an emergency fund.

7. Use the 24-Hour Rule. Avoid purchasing expensive or unnecessary items on impulse with a self-imposed 24-hour rule. For any non-essential item, wait 24 hours before purchasing. It’s perfect for online shopping where your items can simply be added to your cart to purchase later.

8. Make a grocery list BEFORE going to the grocery store and STICK to it. You’re going to avoid buying things you don’t really need.

9. DO. NOT. SHOP. WHILE. YOU. ARE. HUNGRY. Or you’ll end up buying food that you actually don’t need just because you feel snacky!

10. Only use ATMs from your bank, or you get charged small fees.

11. Set a “No Spend Day” per week, where you consciously DO NOT spend any money for that day.

12. Ditch the paper: Cutting out paper towels and using cloths and napkins that you can simply wash and reuse is a simple way to save.

13. After you wear clothes, hang them outside your wardrobe, on a door or something. You can air them out a bit, then stick them in the closet without washing. You can basically reuse the same clothes two or three times without having to wash them, sometimes they just need a bit of air and they won’t smell AT ALL.

14. If you don’t own or want to spend money on an iron, hang whatever blouse you need to iron in the bathroom while you shower. The steam will humidify the fabric and straighten it up.

15. Hang stuff to dry. Really don’t need to spend money on the dryer.

16. Sign up to the library. They have so many books and DVDs nowadays. You can also just go, sit at the library and stay warm for a while, so that you don’t have to sit at home and either suffer the cold or use money on your own heat.

17. Budget, budget, budget. Get a lil notebook, write down the monthly expenses, cut what you don’t need. It gets easier with time.

 FOOD:

1.       Make a meal plan. Write 10-14 days worth of dishes that you can do (lunch, dinner, everything you need). You can then toss them around as you go on with your week, but that way you have a pretty clear idea of what you use and the food you go through for how long. It also reduces the risks of getting take out since you already have plans for what to eat.

2.       Cook double! Seriously. Make that dinner and double it up. Leftovers can be frozen or put in the fridge for the day after.

3.       Meal prep. Once a week, prep a bunch of different recipes. Let them cool down, stick them in the freezer. At that point you’ll already have all these meals at the ready to just thaw/microwave or oven up.

4.       You don’t need pop. You don’t need alcohol. You most likely don’t need milk, but go for it if you wanna. Just remember dairy products go bad WAY more quickly than non dairies, so consider getting food and drinks with no dairy in them. Mainly, though. Water. Just drink water. Lots of it too! Sometimes our brain can’t tell the difference between hunger and thirst. You think you’re snacky? Drink some water instead! It’ll quell your hunger.

5.       Freeze fruit! If you think you’re not gonna be able to eat fruit in time, put it in a Tupperware or a ziplock and slap it in the freezer. You’ll be able to then use it for smoothies.

6.       Use the Italian saying “Colazione da re, pranzo da nobili, cena da poveri.” Which quite literally means “Breakfast as a king, lunch as a noble, dinner as a poor.” Breakfast should be very filling, carbs, protein, vitamins. It carries you for the whole day. Lunch should be quite filling too! But supper doesn’t really need a lot of it, and if you REALLY have to skip a meal, skip supper. Your body doesn’t need that much sustenance while sleeping.

7.       This is for the desperate times but I’ve done it, and I would do it again if I ever had to. Go to markets that have like… Fruits and veggies. Talk to them. Ask them “HEY, can I have the fruit/veggie that you have to throw away?” Ask them if you can have the ugly produce, the one that doesn’t look pretty enough to be put out. Or ask them to have whatever extra they have to dump because is past the expiry date. EXPIRY DATE IS USUALLY MUCH LONGER THAN WHAT THE LABEL SAYS. I wouldn’t risk it with dairy stuff or with things that are VERY expired, but one or two days? Totally fine, I promise. And if you have to? Dumpster Dive. Especially at markets with fruit and veggies that have to be sold on the same day (because it’s not considered “fresh” past that day.) Or behind pizza places like Dominos or Panago or whatever chain. They get pizza orders wrong all the time. Just give a peak behind these buildings and look inside their boxes. You have no idea how many times I found perfectly fine pizzas. For free! IF YOU DUMPSTER DIVE, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE GLOVES, A MASK AND PLASTIC BAGS TO PUT YOUR STUFF IN. ONCE AT HOME, DISCARD GLOVES AND WASH PRODUCE THROUGHLY. Also check tumblr for your divers community, they usually know the best spots.

 CLOTHES:

1.       Thrift shop! So many GOOD used clothes are out there! Honestly! My whole wardrobe is thrifted and everything looks brand new. It takes a bit of research and maybe that shirt you liked is not in your size, but you can find EVERYTHING, from socks to bras, at a thrift store. Don’t thrift underwear though. You want to go new with those.

2.       Invest in some needle and thread, then open youtube. There are SO MANY tutorials that teach you how to mend holes in socks and underwear. And really, no one will really notice if a mend is perfectly done or not. After a week, you’ll forget it too! But that prevents you from throwing away clothes that could just be mended a little.

3.       Something doesn’t fit you? Too small, too big? YouTube, homie. They have tutorials on how to fix these kinda things! All you need, again, is needle and thread.

4.       Organize clothes swaps with friends and/or neighbors. Everyone brings clothes they don’t need, put them in a pile. Go through the pile and grab whatever there is. There’s no money exchange, one could go home with 1 item and one could go home with 50 items. Who cares? The extra stuff… DONATE IT TO A SHELTER.

Feel free to add more, and stay safe!

[symphonicmetal101]

After watching some anime, can I request the brothers and Side characters with an MC that makes really great bentos in their aesthetic with their favorite meals? MC could make Lucifer a fancy dish of steak done to his favorite temperature, side dishes are organized neatly, and the bento is red and black to match his design or she made pink/pastel treats for Asmo is a very cute bento that matches his style. I think it would make their day when they receive something so cute from the human

ABSOFRICKINGLUTELY! ANON! I LOVE YOU! THANK YOU! However, I write gn! Whenever possible, so I hope you don't mind. Also, I've only made bento once, so I did a tinny bit of research. Most of them stray from traditional bento, however I tried to make sure I had the four components, (protien, carbs, salad/veggies, and fruit) (except Asmo), and different cooking methods for each. Some of them I forgot to explicitly say what colour the box was, so I'm sorry about that. I didn't do Luke because he had a role in Simeon's, and I blanked. (Sorry) Also, some of them have links bc I started to lose inspiration and motivation to write the same thing over and over again bc brain juice went bye. Hopefully I did this justice, I may have gotten a little carried away...sorry for rambling.

MC Makes Bento For The Boys

Lucifer

Lucifer had been working non-stop for the past few weeks

You had barely seen him, as he was so busy going back and forth from the castle, meetings, and he had banned everyone from his office. It had gotten so bad that he would "postpone" his meals, but nobody had seen him eat in a while.

You had a lot of spare time, so you did meal prep for the whole week just for Lucifer.

It was a little past noon by the time you finished, (and made Beel swear he wouldn't touch the food because you would treat him at Madam Scream's later), so you decided to make a bento box for Lucifer's lunch today with some leftover beef and rice you had.

With your protein and carbs taken care of, you prepared some roasted asparagus to add some colour to the box as well as a couple of carrots. You also added an umeboshi plum on top of the rice to match the colour of the box. (A/N I personally don't mind umeboshi on it's own, but if anyone wants to try it, I highly suggest you eat it with rice or have water on hand 😂)(oh yeah, umeboshi is a small, sour, pickled plum.)

In the final box you arranged a couple of orange slices, strawberries and grapes.

Satisfied, you brought the box and a glass of water up to his study. You didn't even bother knocking, knowing he would just send you away anyways.

You were greeted by a low growl. "Get out."

You rolled your eyes. "No. You need to eat Lucifer, and I'm not leaving until I know you've finished this."

"I don't have time for this MC. I have to-" he was cut off by his stomach rumbling.

He blushed slightly, and continued to busy himself with work.

"Please? I hate seeing you overwork yourself like this. Have you looked in the mirror lately? When was the last time you slept? Eaten? Had something other than coffee? Have you even gone to the bathroom in the past 48 hours?"

He sighed, folded his hands under his chin and looked up at you through disheveled raven locks.

"...you really aren't going anywhere until I eat." It wasn't a question, rather a statement with a trace of relief in it.

You extended the bento box out to him once more, though this time he accepted it.

"....thank you MC.....this is quite delicious. Perhaps once I'm done my work I can take you out to Ristorante Six to show my appreciation."

You pushed his hair back and planted a kiss on his forehead.

"Once you're done your work, you're going to sleep. That's an order, sir."

He silently cursed himself as he felt himself blush again

You were planning to stay until he finished, but then you heard Mammon and Levi fighting.

"I'll take care of that love. Make sure you drink that water too. Also, I prepped meals for the rest of the week for you, so you have no excuse to not eat. I bribed Beel, so they should stay there, but as an extra precaution I got Satan to teach me a protection spell. I didn't tell him what it was for, so it should be fine."

He watched you close the door behind you and wondered what he did to deserve someone like you.

Mammon

He was complaining to you because his actions finally caught up with him, and tomorrow he had to go out and repay some witches with time and favours, (being a bagboy), instead of money

He started belly-aching even more when you told him you weren't interested in joining him.

Luckily you were on dinner duty tonight, so you had a legitimate excuse to leave his pity-party

However while you were making dinner, you decided to show Mammon a little bit of sympathy, and set some rice and pork cutlet aside that you could use later.

After dinner, Mammon followed Lucifer, trying to convince him to give him money.

So you had ample time to continue working on his bento.

He had a three compartment wooden box

You scooped the rice into the box, put the cutlet on top, and two thinly sliced pieces of lemon on top.

You cut up some yellow, red, and orange bell pepper to put in the top left corner of the box

In the last compartment, you cut up golden kiwi, pineapple chunks, and a couple blueberries

You were about to put it in the fridge, when Mammon came screaming into the kitchen.

"MC HELP ME LUCIFER'S MAD I DON'T WANNA GET STRUNG UP AGAIN AND- wait, what's that?"

You sighed. "It was supposed to be a surprise Mammon! I made lunch for you for tomorrow, because you're going to be doing some running around and who knows when you'll get a moment to yourself? I was going to cast a spell on it to keep Beel from eating it, so it would have lasted overnight too... I just want to make sure you have something healthy to eat and so you don't have to spend money on take out. If you don't want it though, I'll just give it to Beel..."

He blushed furiously. "Ya don't gotta worry bout me, silly human. The Great Mammon can take care of himself! But-uh, I'll probably end up taking it anyways, because it's umm, it's free food! And Mammon ain't about to pass that up!"

He tried to grab it, but you pulled it close to yourself and turned, blocking him.

"You only want it because it's free? Ok. Fine. You'll have to pay me if you want it." You teased

He whined a bit. "Aw come on, ya even said ya didn't want me spendin money tomorrow! And ya said it was for me! MC, this ain't fair!"

"I didn't say you had to use money."

The next day while Mammon was out and about, trying to carry multiple bags of stuff for the witches, he happily ate his food, a light blush on his cheeks as every bite reminded him of the way you felt against his lips yesterday.

Leviathan

Levi had lost out on another draw despite having spent copious amounts of money on the tickets

As such, he had locked himself in his room to temporarily drown in his sorrows

You decided to make Kyaraben, character bento, for him. (Kyaraben can also refer to animals, real life celebrities, or natural settings)

(I would do Ruri- Chan but I have no fricking clue, so here's a link to a recipe for Pikachu Kyaraben because that's what you did instead)

Hesitantly, you brought your creation to his room and lightly knocked on the door.

"...I don't wanna talk to anyone right now."

"Levi, it's me. I brought something to cheer you up! At least let me give it to you if you don't want me to stay."

You could hear some scuffling and mumbling from behind the door. "I highly doubt there's anything a normie like you can do to help."

You tried to brush that off, because, ouch, but you knew he was upset so you tried not to take it to heart.

He was pouty as he opened the door, his demon form on display.

His expression immediately changed when he saw the bento in your hands.

"WOOOOOAAAHHH!!! THIS IS FOR ME??!! YOU MADE ME BENTO??!! This is something straight out of anime!!! Uh...uhm...d-do you maybe w-want to share it?"

The last part of his sentence had him blushing furiously, and he refused to look you in the eye.

"Sure. Maybe we can watch that anime you texted me about a couple days ago too."

His eyes lit up with joy as he used his tail to gently grab your wrist and pull you excitedly to his couch.

Once he had arranged everything to his liking, he sat down and bashfully accepted the bento.

At some point, he asked if he could feed it to you, however, there was only one pair of chopsticks

Blushy otaku very much enjoyed the bento, not only because it was like his anime, but also because it was you who made it.

He also got a couple indirect kisses, and could not focus on anything but that for the next few days.

Satan

You and Satan had been spending a lot of time together lately because he was helping you study for a test

Thanks to Satan's tutoring, you had managed to get a much higher score on the test than you had imagined.

As thanks, you wanted to make a kitten Kyaraben

You found him in the library at a desk, hunched over a book, studying some foreign language.

He was so engrossed in his studies that he didn't notice you right away, so you tapped him gently on his shoulder.

"Ah, MC. I'm afraid I missed you coming in. Are you alright?"

You smiled and nodded. You brought the box out from behind your back with your test papers on top, the mark clearly visible.

"I couldn't have gotten that mark without your help, so I made you some bento as thanks. I hope you like it."

His eyes widened in surprise. "Oh MC, that wasn't necessary. Spending time with you was enough for me, but thank you."

He slid the lid off the bento and chuckled when he saw what you had done.

"That's quite clever kitten. Perhaps next time you can show me how to make it?"

His pet name made you blush a bit, but that didn't stop you from agreeing.

You two spent the next few hours discussing different meals you guys could learn to make together.

Asmodeus

Asmo had been taking you shopping lately, hyping you up and helping you destress with spa nights

In return, you decided to make a dessert bento box in a pretty pink container.

It was a square container split into nine compartments.

Across the top three compartments, you arranged a rainbow of mochi.

On the bottom three you arranged a rainbow of macaroons.

In the two outside compartments left, you put a mini Wicked cupcake in each

Finally in the middle, you arranged Hershey's kisses into a heart.

Satisfied, you made your way to his room and announced your presence at his door.

"Come in darling~ I'm just finishing up my nails!"

You let yourself in and settled across the table from Asmo.

"I brought you something. I just wanted to thank you for helping me out lately and show you how much I appreciate you!"

You placed the box next to him so he could see what you had done.

His squeal of excitement almost decimated your eardrums, however moments later you were enveloped in a very tight, heartfelt, "smooshy" hug, but his elated expression made up for your temporary loss of hearing.

"Ohh MC! You're so sweet!!!! These look delicious, let's share them!! Just let me take a picture first with my favourite snack!!"

You sat back and expected him to pick up a cupcake, but yelped as he pulled you into the frame.

"I said with my favourite snacc MC, and I meant it!!" (Yes, he still took a picture of the bento)

Beelzebub

You wanted to plan an outdoor date for the two of you that wouldn't require you to excersize.

So you decided to try and make Koraku Bento, or picnic bento, but even bigger in hopes you would be able to temporarily satiate Beel's hunger

Because you were making so much, you needed multiple boxes, and a couple days to prepare, so you asked Simeon if you could work at PH so Beel wouldn't get to it early.

Of course, he agreed

Day one, you prepared five different fillings for the Onigiri you were planning to make: sha-ke (salted salmon),umeboshi (Japanese pickled plum), okaka (bonito flakes moistened with soy sauce), kombu (simmered kombu seaweed), tuna mayo (canned tuna with Japanese mayonnaise)

Day two you prepared three large protiens, (chicken, beef, and pork), each enough to fill about two containers each. You cooked each of them differently. You also cut up/prepared vegetables you wanted to use for tempura.

Day three you woke up early in order to be ready to take Beel out after his game. You made rice and finished making the Onigiri, (which Luke was adamant you let him make with you).

And Simeon helped you make the tempura and a beautiful salad to accompany everything else.

However, now there was a lot of stuff to carry and you wanted to greet Beel out of his game.

So the angels took care of transporting the food to the roof while you went to get Beel

"Why are we going to Purgatory Hall? Are we having dinner with the angels?"

"Not quite. The date I wanted to take you on had a slight change of plans. We just need to get to the roof-"

"Do you want me to fly us up there?"

You considered it for a moment then agreed. If nothing else, you would be avoiding Solomon.

Once you landed, appreciation for the angels swelled as they had laid everything out so beautifully.

"...oh. It looks like someone else is doing something up here. It smells really good, so we should probably go. I don't want to eat someone else's food and ruin their night by accident....again." He tried to leave, but you pulled on him gently.

"I'm glad you think it smells good. This is for you! I made it for you, and the angels helped me bring it up here when I went to pick you up."

His eyes widened. "...All of that...you made it for me?"

You couldn't help but smile and nod at his bashful expression.

He hugged you gently. "Thank you MC. I know that took a lot."

"It was worth it! You haven't even tried it yet. Come on, I'm hungry!" You giggled.

Beel's stomach growled in response, causing a slight blush to light his cheeks. You're so good to him❤

Belphegor (this has a bit of crack energy, I'm sorry. So will Solomon's😅)

"MC....can you pass me my D.D.D?"

"MC....can you give me a massage?"

"MC....can you switch my laundry for me?"

"MC....can you pass me my pillow?"

"Belphie, I love you. I understand you're the Avatar of Sloth. But what the actual fuck? Your pillow is under your arm, just move it under your head. I've already gotten up, like six times to do stuff for you."

He groaned. "But it takes too much effort!" He smushed his cheek into his arm and attempted to give you puppy-dog eyes.

"Sorry, only Beel can pull that off. If you want your pillow moved less than a foot, you're going to do it yourself. You of all people should now how frustrating it is to get up as soon as you sit down."

He groaned again and grumbled as he moved his own damn pillow.

You tried to relax a bit. Normally your time with Belphie consisted of cuddles, movie nights, planeterium visits, or just plugging into some music and enjoying each other's company, like you were trying to do now.

Until you made eye contact with him again.

He was going to ask something-

"MC........... can you get me a snack?"

Dear God, he was not gonna like this.

"Of course Belphie. I'd love to."

You made your way to the kitchen with new found energy.

You were going to make Shikaeshi Bento (revenge lunchbox)

Basically, it's supposed to be inedible or embarrassing, and be used to convey anger or overall dissatisfaction

So you grabbed his bento box, dumped uncooked rice into it, cracked an egg and left the shell in the box. You used purple food colouring to make a heart.

You brought the box up to Belphie, who was surprisingly still awake

"That was quick."

You grunted in response and walked out

"Hey why are you leaving?!"

A few seconds later, you heard, "MC! ...WHAT DID I DO??!! I JUST WANTED A SNACK!!...MC PLEASE COME BACK I DON'T WANNA GET UP!!"

Diavolo

So, usually Barbatos is in charge of making sure the Demon Prince eats

However, you told Barbatos that you wanted to make something special for Dia

"My Lord would thoroughly enjoy anything you made for him. He's been very busy lately, so I'm sure he would appreciate the kind gesture."

Barbatos graciously gave you precedence over the kitchen, giving you full access to everything you could ever need or want.

You decided to make him bento with your favourite protein

One compartment you filled with rice, using sesame seeds and an umeboshi for garnish

You arranged pieces of your favourite fruits in one of the smaller compartments

Then you made your favourite type of tempura, and prepared the sauce to go in the last two compartments

You asked Barbatos where Diavolo would be, and he escorted you to his office.

"My Lord, MC has come to speak with you."

Diavolo's head shot up and his face lit up with delight as he watched you walk through the door.

"MC! A welcome surprise. How are you? Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine! I actually just wanted to give you something." You gave him the black box.

"I made bento with some of my favourite things...you mentioned wanting to get to know me a little bett-"

You were cut off by Diavolo crushing you in a hug

"...My Lord, MC needs to breathe."

"Ah, my apologies MC. This is the most wonderful, meaningful thing anyone has ever given me. How can I adequately express my gratitude? Simply name anything you want, and it shall be yours."

Once you had regained your breath, you gave him a small smile.

"Anything? Could I trouble you for your time?"

"MC, Lord Diavolo must finish his work in a timely matter. I can clear his schedule for afterwards."

"Barbatos, could they stay long enough for us to share the wonderful meal they've prepared?"

Usually Diavolo's begging and sad eyes™ would be powerless against him, however the soft spot he had for you and your much- less-seen sad expression were enough for him to bend this once.

"My Lord, I'll be back in an hour. I'm afraid that's all the time I can allow."

He stepped out, and allowed a small smile form on his face as he heard the two of you celebrate, also knowing that later on he would be listening to a very happy prince recount everything you two talked about and how much he loved you.

Barbatos

You, the brothers, and the other exchange students had been invited to the demon lord's castle for another event

It wasn't for another day, but you felt your chest tighten as you remembered Barbatos

Did he even get to eat those days when everyone was there?

You didn't want to take that chance, and decided to set up a small, filling bento box.

It only had three compartments, so you stuffed each one.

One had rice and meat.

You made some sushi and tamagoyaki to go on top.

For the last compartment, you made a simple chickpea salad.

The next day, Barbatos welcomed you all to the castle, as per usual.

However, this time he stuck around once the brothers and others had left.

"I...Well you already know, but this is for you!"

He nodded and graced you with a smile. "My knowing does not take away from my appreciation MC. Admittedly, nights like this are very demanding. I will repay you later. Thank you."

He tried to walk away, but you yelled after him, "You're not supposed to repay someone for a gift! Just take it!!"

He smiled to himself as he started to eat some food.

Perhaps this night would not be as taxing as he thought

Simeon

You had been experimenting new dinner recipes with Luke at Purgatory Hall; you were watching him while Simeon was away.

"If we leave these leftovers out, Solomon will get to them and ruin them."

"....why don't we make bento for Simeon? He's coming back tomorrow, isn't he?"

Luke beamed at you. "Okay!"

He went to get a small bento box divided into fifths (two large bottom compartments and three small top ones).

"Ok, so in one of the big ones, we can fit the rest of the rice."

Luke nodded. "Can I use this?" He held up a star-shaped cookie cutter.

"Of course!" You helped him mould the rice into a stable star shape.

He looked so happy designing stuff, you let him take the lead.

By the time you were finished, it was easily the most stunning dish you had seen.

"Wow MC! We should do this more often!" He was very proud of himself, and rightfully so. "I can't wait to give it to Simeon!....Is it ok if I give it to Simeon? It was your idea, so it's ok if you want to do it instead..."

You just smiled at him. "You can give it to him, you did most of the work anyways. For now though, you need to get to bed."

He pouted slightly, but complied.

The next morning you woke up to Luke speaking very animatedly to Simeon.

"Yeah! We tried a bunch of new things, and then MC suggested we make you a bento box with the leftovers, and it turned out really well so I can't wait for you to try it!!"

You leaned against the kitchen doorframe observing the interaction.

"Thank you Luke, it looks wonderful. Good morning MC. I hope you slept well. Thanks for ba- for helping Luke while I was away."

He smiled gently at you before Luke was trying to get him to try the bento again.

He took a bite and smiled at Luke.

"It's delicious. You guys must have put a lot of love into it, as always." He looked directly at you at that point, but Luke was too elated to notice the silent exchange between you too.

Solomon

"Don't get mad at me! You agreed to test spells with me!"

"You asked me when I was half asleep Solomon! I also meant later, not right away!"

"Well, you're not a frog anymore, so I don't see what the problem is."

.... No, you weren't a frog anymore

That didn't mean you were happy about being a frog in the first place.

You texted Simeon, 'Who's on lunch duty today?"

"Me. Why?"

"I'll make us bento. We can picnic, the exchange students, that is."

So you spent the next little bit making normal bento for the three of you.

"Simeon said we should probably leave in five minutes" you thanked Luke and started on Solomon's.

You made Shikaeshi bento; you cracked four eggs and aligned their yolks into a rather phallic shape, added way too much fish oil, and threw a few sesame seeds on top.

However, once you made it to the picnic grounds, Solomon opened his box and gasped.

"MC, you know me so well!" And proceeded to drink right out of the box, the rest of you looking on in horror.

"I thought you were mad at me and you were going to give me something disgusting like Mac and Cheese. I guess all is forgiven. Thank you!"

At that point you couldn't even stay mad, that was just disgusting.

Aye, I hope you liked it anon, not sure if this is quite what you meant but....yeah.

Love y'all!

Masterlist

[flr-house-husband-blog]

Female Led Relationship In Real Life

FLR explained, the woman has final say on all matters. The man accepts her wishes, her wants, and her punishments. This isn’t the FLR most men dream about in real life which is sexual in nature; I can promise in real life it is much different and more rewarding long term for both parties involved.

For us, yes housework is my responsibility and it started out with her lowering the normal standard that she kept up so that I could get down a routine. Overtime I’ve gotten better and worked longer in rooms and areas that did not meet her standards. I want to say higher, but they were only higher standards to me when we were vanilla. I see now the importance of daily, weekly, and monthly deep cleaning chores and tasks. They really do make the house ready for guests at a moments notice without worry and it really lifts a level of stress off of her which reflects back into us and our time together.

I’ve been timed and my daily chores I can do in 20 mins if I hustle. Normally it takes me an hour in between making her breakfast or getting ready for or after my work. Either way my “right” to ask permission to play video games or have screentime on my phone is once my chores are complete. The weekly tasks I’ve broken down into days to accomplish them easier (for myself), to not get behind, and make sure I meet her expectation of cleanliness.

My fav part of our FLR which has led to has been more love, time, and attention towards her is a phone rule. Dinner at home or out, regardless with friends I have to ask permission to use my phone. Needless to say no one bats an eye as they think it’s great we’re not on our phones. I like to check google reviews and see photos of different food options at a restaurant and it’s almost always a yes when I ask and then I put it away or it goes in her purse. I will say getting to that level of discipline isn’t easy.

In FLR I thrived with any new rules or expectations as soon as Goddess Amy figured out the best punishments that one changed my perspective and made me do risk/reward calculations before taking an action. What worked for her and didn’t cause her too much additional time away from what she enjoyed and was highly effective for me was corner time (30+ mins sometimes) and marking down in my shared chore app her grievances, which I too could see and were addressed with the paddle when she so decided. Unlike fantasy FLR there is nothing fun about having your pants around your ankles and being met with a firm paddle. She knows once I’m over ten that each and everyone will be remembered throughly. She has taken it a step further and makes me recite while I’m being paddled. Again not sexy but to make sure i know what I did and what I should do again.

Writing lines or the same thing over and over on paper takes a lot of time and she doesn’t except sloppy work. When that comes up I know I’m metaphorically fucked. It’s the equivalent of a cold shoulder when we were vanilla and I know a conversation is coming.

FLR isn’t all chores and sex. It’s a means to have a more loving and quality filled relationship. It’s non-standard but really does the trick for us. Of note when you’ve been met with consequences for falling short on expectations it really does change you behavior and moments vanilla you might want to give constructive feedback or argue a point of view. In FLR skip it and if you don’t like the point/topic/discussion try and bring it up at the end of the day or week, and if you really want ask if she wants feedback and if she says yes then maybe; otherwise wait until the end of the day or week.

In real-life FLR I can only give my perspective and maybe some of hers. For me I’d say the most important part is the man accepting she has the authority. Leadership isn’t all about being right, it’s about inspiring follow-ship naturally and accomplishing shared goals of the individuals under you and for the organization. Goddess Amy does that wonderfully and this is where you could say she understands my kinks (motivation) and pessimistic characteristics (frictions). She has a firm grasps on all things me and has goals for me, expectations for herself, our house, and our family. FLR works well for us because I accept and want her authority and she cares about all of the above to ensure each and everyday we move forward and improve. It’s not like the kink where things are expected to be absolutely perfect. She knows what I can handle and pushes the bubble little by little until it’s “perfect”, I look back and think wow what a difference I never thought this was possible.

Have you heard the phrase “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. If daddy ain’t happy don’t nobody care. “ That phrase sums up FLR. This ties in with communication and roles of FLR. She can easily say be ready we are going out and that means get in nice clothes and get everything ready to go or she can say she’s going out, which means I have the house to myself and if I’m lucky I’ll be given permission to watch TV or play games on my laptop. This ties in with staying on top of the routine she has set for me and other rules like no screentime without the chores being done. Most times I’m fortunate enough to get sceentime when I have the house to myself and sometimes it’s an opportunity for me to address a writing assignment she would like or an addtional chore. Rarely does it include me playing and sending pictures while she is out and about, but either way I’m always responsive and accept what she chooses as I know and believe it has a purpose. I just don’t sometimes fully understand it until later on down the road.

Real-life FLR the man only does what she wants and in ours she has retained meal prep for us and weekday dinners. The weekends I get to grill out and make her meals. Dishes are easy in our house. After a meal we clear the table, some things into rubber ware, some things rinsed in the sink and then into the dishwasher. We have a sign for clean/dirty and the dishwasher gets ran at night once full every couple of days and per my checklist is emptied or check daily.

A big benefit for her is me seeking ways to earn extra privileges ultimately by going out of my way to be on my best behavior, pampering her with love, surprises, and foot rubs. Some days she surprises me with the same to include paid massages and also breakfast in bed.

In public we appear vanilla, with the exception that I may secretly ask permission to have a soda or bend our diet plan a bit with a dessert. I’ve found asking before we go out with friends is better and also she has coded eye brows and looks which convey a silent approval or disapproval as I talk through what I might want when asked.

In addition to not meal prepping every meal since she loves cooking and helping us meet our fitness goals there are a few other things she retains control of. One is laundry, not because she loves it but because only she understands our walk in closet system for her stuff. Every morning I make sure everything is in the hamper and check the dryer- going through and pulling clothes tout of the dryer and separating out her dresses, tops, panties, etc in a way that makes it faster for her to put away herself, along with hanging and putting away all of my clothes neatly. Second the baby’s room there is a fancy rug which gets cleaned a certain way that’s off limits to me. I didn’t ask why and daily just make sure everything is clean and organized. Unlike fantasy FLR you won’t see me begging to do more chores, but you will see me finding areas which I add to my daily to keep off my monthly and deep clean routine to save myself time another day but just maintaining the area better. One example for this is dusting, yes the dreaded dusting. Once despised, I now prefer to address it per room per weekday versus all at once on the weekend. For me it’s less tedious when mixed in with picking up toys, vacuuming, and wiping down surfaces versus a whole hour of it another day.

To end this long discussion one thing that I like most about our FLR is despite me, the man not having final decision is that she gets my feedback 9 times out of 10 before making the final decision. I always feel heard and understood even when I don’t get what I wanted on most big topics, this isn’t the case with little chores or screentime expectations.

[chuckbass-love]

can i request a super smutty one shot of chris evans and hes obsessed with doing anal and it's the filthiest hottest thing ever ??? i love ur work btw :))

Hi lovely anon, thank you so much for the request and i really apologise for the delay. I’ve been working on a couple other things and obviously Christmas time has been hectic too. However, it’s here now and i hope you love it. Also thank you reading my work, your support means a whole lot and i really appreciate you🥰

A/N: Not written smut in a while so please give feedback as i’m anxious and worried that this is shit. Also, part 5 for Only Love Can Hurt Like This will be out soon. So strap yourselves in for that. 

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Language, FILTH, anal fingering, anal intercourse, oral (f, receiving), vaginal fingering and daddy kink. 18+

Word Count: 3,054

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @myimaginesworld go check them out❤️

New Obsession

If you were to tell the truth about how you felt a week ago, then it would be that anal made you nervous. Well, not anymore.

You’ve been with Chris for around a year now, which to many wouldn’t seem like a long time but to the two of you, it feels like a lifetime.

He had a way of automatically putting you at ease with everything. Especially in the bedroom or whenever it came to opening up emotionally and even now, that’s still the case.

He treats you like a queen. 

Last week whilst the pair of you were lounging around his Massachusetts home with Dodger nestled in between your legs as you lay in between Chris’s legs. He randomly asked you some rather explicit questions.

Ones mostly about your ass and what you’d let him do to it. It started off with him asking about eating your ass, playing with it and then eventually he asked if you’d ever have anal sex with him,

The mere thought had your puckered hole clenching and your tight cunt slowly starting to drip with your honey like arousal. Yeah sure, you were terrified but you’d always been curious and wanted to explore new territory with him. 

You love him and you trust him with your life so you agreed to try.

And after a nice romantic meal, a lot of wine on your part, beer on his. You ended up kissing on the couch. It started off very slow until he stood up with you in his arms, carrying you to the master bedroom. The journey there was spent with his large hand splaying across your soft globes, squeezing them aggressively like he just couldn’t wait to have his filthy way with you.

That night was certainly crazy to say the least. You were a little sore after which only led to Chris kissing you on your delicate hole a couple times and running you a bubble bath.

He’s the king of after care with you. Always checking in with you before, during and after to see if you enjoyed it. The last thing he’d ever want is for you to be in pain or danger.

Since that night though, you’ve been doing it whenever you can. It’s like an addiction. The feel of his huge cock pushing into your forbidden and tight hole is something you can never even begin to explain. It just feels incredible. Plus your little cunt gets extremely excited at all of the attention. Chris tends to rub at your bundle of nerves or even dip his fingers into your honey pot, 3 at once. He says he never wants your pussy to be left untouched.

But like you’ve said. It’s like an addiction to you both. In fact, he’s crazy for it. 

The grunts that leave his mouth always have you keening for him to go deeper and deeper inside of you. Every inch of him.

Tonight is no exception.

You had a lovely day at his parent’s house. Lisa cooked a gorgeous lunch and all of Chris’ siblings visited with their kids and partners. 

You and Scott spent the entire day laughing and joking about the many times you scared Chris. It’s like a running joke in this family plus Chris hates being scared. He calls himself the master of scaring people so when the tables are turned he gets this huge need to get them back.

Whenever Chris is horny or desperate for you, he has his ways of letting you know without actually saying the words. 

For example.

You were helping Lisa with some of the last minute prep for lunch by taking stuff out of the oven and placing it onto dishes to then put on the table.

Chris was sat at the kitchen island, sipping on a beer. Well, he was practically gulping it down. You were in the kitchen also.

Lisa asked if you could take the quiche out of the oven and leave it on the cooling rack. Chris’s eyes followed your ass as you bent over. Something you had anticipated to happen since he’s an ass man and your ass in particular drives him insane.

You turned around to place it on the cooling rack and that’s when you saw his flushed cheeks. His eyes full of hunger and lust. Animalistic even.

Before you left to go to his parent’s house, he was begging for you to ride him quickly.

“It’ll only be a quick one, just wanna feel that ass around my cock again”

His whining was more than tempting and now, since you rejected his offer, he was so close to taking you upstairs into his old childhood room to ram into you.

But instead. Lunch was served and he didn’t have the time. 

Hours had passed until eventually it was time to go. Lisa gave you some of the leftover quiche since Chris enjoyed it so much and the two of you got into the car with you in the driving seat this time. 

“You’re such a fuckin tease baby” he slurred

“And why’s that?” you asked, feigning innocence as you started driving. With his house not being far from his parent’s house, the journey was only around 10 minutes, not even that.

He never responded to you, just smirked as he sat back in his seat.

The moment you got home however, he was all over you like a rash. You shut the front door and locked it just before he pushed you into it. 

Your cheek squished against the cold door.

“Chris” you squealed, he didn’t respond though.

You felt his body lower until you were pretty sure he was on his knees, lifting your sundress up and hooking his thick digits into your soaked panties. He yanked them down and tapped your legs for you to step out of them. 

“There they are. God i’ve missed this pretty little asshole and oh my, look at this soaked cunt. All for me, huh baby?” you knew that he was well aware of the kind of effect he had on you and your body but he still liked confirmation from your mouth.

“Yes, daddy. It’s all for you. Please” 

Whenever you’re around Chris and about to have sex, you find yourself turning into this pathetic woman who is literally his whore. You crave his touch. You crave the feel of his cock ploughing into you so hard that you forget your own name and he loves how hungry you get.

He stood up then, his eyes dancing over your body, the only thing wrong with the view was that you had clothes on. He soon changed that, stripping you completely before getting back down onto his knees.

Which is how you got here. 

Your one leg is over his shoulder and your fingers are tangled up in his hair that was once styled. 

“Fuck. Daddy. Yes. Just. Like. That” your breathing is heavy and your heart is beating rapidly. His fingers working wonders inside of you whilst his mouth is sucking on your clit.

You’re on the cusp of yet another mind blowing orgasm from just his fingers and mouth alone. He’s already had you messing all over his fingers once but clearly once wasn’t enough if he’s trying to draw another from you.

He’s always been greedy like that.

“Come on baby, i know you got another one in you, give it to me” his fingers start to curl ever so slightly, pressing at that spot inside a couple more times before you’re falling.

Your cum sliding down his digits beautifully. Just the way he likes.

Before you even have the chance to speak, he’s spinning you back around and spreading your ass cheeks to reveal his new obsession.

Seconds later his tongue is pressed against it, circling too. 

You shiver at the sensation, your back arches and your hands rest either side of the door frame. In hopes that it’ll steady you.

“There she is, my little whore”

You bite down on your bottom lip as your eyes roll to the back of your head. There’s no point in trying to hold back the moans anymore and with one final lick to your eager hole you let out a loud pornographic style moan. 

With Chris, it’s always hard to hold back and he knows that. There’s been so many times when he’s tested you, fucking you in public areas. But the worst one was when you were in his L.A home.

Lisa came to visit at the very beginning of your relationship. You went for some nice lunch and then dinner which was courtesy of your excellent cooking. 

Chris put her up for the weekend and boy did he choose that night to initiate some pretty filthy sex. 

You were lying on your stomach and trying to sleep when you felt his hands wondering. Then all of a sudden he’s spitting on his cock for lube, stroking it a couple times before sliding into your pussy with ease. All thanks to your permanent need for him.

The way he fucked you that night was most certainly sinful to say the least. His room being next door to the guest room where his mother was sleeping. You’re surprised she didn’t say something the next day. Chris had to keep pushing your head into the pillow to muffle your pleasure filled screams.

“So eager for my cock i see but not so fast baby. Gotta get you ready first” the raspiness of his voice makes everything ten times hotter and you can quite literally feel him inside of you without it being a reality.

He stands up and his finger starts to circle before he slowly pushes it in, taking his time to prepare you for another one of his thick digits. 

They glide across the walls inside.

One more is added and another until your ass is stretched out nicely.

He continues to work you over, scissoring his fingers too. Despite doing it a lot already, preparation is key with anal.

“Think you’re ready?”

“Please, i need it” you mewl

He lowers his head so that his mouth is just by your ear and his breath fans your skin “yeah, need it huh? Need daddy’s cock deep inside this tight ass of yours?” 

You nod your head aggressively, you couldn’t look more keen if you tried. 

“How bad you need it baby, tell me. Tell daddy like a good girl” he whispers, his cologne filling your nose and intoxicating you more than ever as his hand reaches in front to rub at your sensitive clit. 

“Please, daddy. I need your cock in my ass. I need it so much” 

Before you got with Chris, dirty talk wasn’t necessarily something you even thought about during sex but he introduced you to that world. And what a world it is. It seemed as though, the more you did it, the dirtier you got. 

Nicknames were thrown around, more kinks were even explored and you became the pinnacle of a mans dream. Woman in the streets, freak in the sheets.

Such a princess to the public. But for Chris. You’re a whore. Only for him though.

“Beg for it baby” he insists, his fingers press down harder as he rubbing pace quickens.

You can feel the tip of his huge size poking at your hole. Just a push and it’ll be forcing it’s way inside of you, stretching you out even more than his fingers did and filling you up in the best way.

“Daddy, give it to me. Stuff my ass full of your cock please. I need it”

“Such a good girl, my good girl. S’fucking tight baby” the pair of you hiss as he begins to push into you, tearing that sweet ass open.

He’s always loved how tight your ass is and if he had it his way, his cock would remain seated inside of you all day every day. Where it belongs. With your peachy ass cheeks adding to the incredible view.

Every time he fucks you from behind, he spoils you with spanking after spanking, not letting up until your ass is sore and it stings to touch. Luckily, you love it, always begging for more.

And tonight is no different.

His hands rest on both globes, rubbing and kneading before eventually lifting off and smacking back down, earning a gasp from your mouth.

With every inch, he gets closer and closer to bottoming out until before you know it, he’s seated deep inside of your ass.

His fingers find your pussy immediately, sliding inside with no time to waste and then it starts. His thrusting. Slow at first of course.

Gradually getting faster and faster.

“Feel me deep in that fuckin ass huh? My little cock whore. Love getting fucked in this ass baby?” the pure filth leaving his mouth has your clit throbbing under his thumb.

“Answer daddy when he speaks to you” he mutters, spanking your ass and gripping your face with one hand and forcing you to turn your head a bit more so that you’re looking at him “sorry daddy” you pout, face flushed just like his was earlier at lunch.

“And?”

“Feels so good with your cock fucking my ass like that, i need it deeper” you cry out, waiting for his pace to change. His hips snap against your skin as he presses you back into the door with his hand tangled in your hair. 

He pulls on it harshly causing you to wince in pain. It all adds to the earth shattering pleasure though, you love when he gets like this. 

Ever since you first tried anal last week, he’s turned into this animal. He wants to fuck your ass mercilessly whenever he can. Whenever it’s possible and it’s times like these when he’s glad his house is away from others. He can fuck you as hard and as rough as he likes and your moans won’t be heard by anyone. Absolute bliss.

“That’s it baby, take daddy’s cock like the whore you are. Take it deep” he draws the last word out, his breathing hitches and so does yours as you choke on a moan.

“Take. It”

One smack to your ass cheeks.

“My filthy anal loving whore”

Two smacks to your ass cheeks.

“I always secretly knew you’d love this and i was right. Such a dirty little girl for her daddy, aren’t you?” His fingering pace picks up, ramming into you with such vigor as his cock slows down into hard and rough thrusts.

“Let me hear those sweet noises baby, don’t hide them from me. Sing it for daddy, let me know how good i make you feel”

Your back arches and your face lifts off of the door, head falling back to rest on his chest “please, i’m gonna cum, don’t stop i need it” your desperate whimpers are enough to have him ploughing into your ass harder and faster, his grunts, growls and cursing lets you know how close he is to his own earth shattering orgasm.

“Is daddy’s little girl gonna cum too, huh? Gonna cum with daddy, all over my fingers baby as i spill my cum into your ass again. Like last time?”

“Yes daddy, please, i need it. Give me your cum” 

“Such a beg, god you feel so fucking good. Can feel that cunt clenching round my fingers. Cumming baby? Huh, gonna cream all over my fingers like the whore you are?”

All you can muster is a pathetic nod and a whine. You’re so close now.

And just like that, with a couple more thrusts in both holes. You clamp down on his cock and fingers, your clit pulsating again as you cum with a shaky sob of his name.

And of course with your pleasure, his is spurred on. You can feel him twitch and spasm inside as he chokes your name out too. Spilling his hot seed into your ass.

“So fucking good” his heart is beating, you feel it as you lay your head on his chest.

“My good girl, taking it like a pro. I’ll never grow tired of that”

He slowly pulls out, making his way to the bathroom and taking your hand so that you can follow him.

Once there, you get this sudden wave of confidence.

“I already miss your cock inside of me” he runs a wash cloth underneath the hot tap for a couple seconds, before using it to clean himself up. He starts running a bath too but you don’t want one.

You want him.

“I guess we’ll just have to do it again after our bath then won’t we?” he wraps his hand around your wrist, tugging you close so that you’re flush against him.

“What if i don’t want a bath?”

He raises his eyebrows at you in question.

“You want me to fuck your ass again?”

Now that he’s saying it out loud, you feel a tinge of embarrassment.

“Come here and sit on this fucking cock then baby, daddy would hate to disappoint you”

So you do exactly that, he doesn’t have to tell you twice.

“You’re only fuelling the flame baby”

“I don’t know what you mean” your innocence shining through as you turn your head to look at him through your batting eyelashes.

“This ass of yours, you know what it does to me, having my cock buried inside of it. It’s my new obsession” he starts, caressing your cheek before gliding his hand across your body “now. Show daddy how you bounce on his cock”

It would be your pleasure.

----------------------------------

I hope this was great and that you all love it!!! Honest feedback pls...💜

I’ve not written smut in a hot minute so if it’s shit i understand.

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LMK if you want to be added to my tag list!

[mickeymouse-moshpit]

street lights, people

A/N: Hi, hello, greetings, happy Monday! Woo lord I did it. February was hell on earth from a schedule perspective, and the people I worked with completely drained my creativity. Thankfully, I’m now on a service that is incredible and the creative thoughts are BACK BABY! That said, thank you to all you kind people who stick with me when I can’t keep up. And please enjoy this (spicy) chapter! 

Warnings: SMUT (fingering, grinding, descriptions of masturbating with a vulva/vagina, service top!Fennec has arrived, dirty talk, a dash of like light loving degradation if you squint?? probably not considered this), vague descriptions of a meal, I have no excuse for this, peds!Reader is just really tired okay

Rating: Explicit, 18+ ONLY

Word count: 3.1K

February 3rd

Dinner at my place?

You pressed send on the text, hoping your offering would be accepted. You wanted her company and to share food with someone so some of the fresh prep wouldn’t go to waste. You really needed to learn the art of making halved recipes actually produce half of what they usually did.

Something wrong? -fs

No, just wanna share food

...and see you

Time? -fs

You checked your watch. 4:30. 11.5 hours until you had to be awake again.

Can you do 6?

Course. -fs

You slipped your phone back into your coat pocket and went on with your afternoon. Only thing left was to check in with the night team and drop your white coat off in your office. You just wanted to be home.

***

Fennec perched on the counter. She wasn’t sure that she had seen you so focused since that night in the bookstore. But this was different in a way. Then, you had floated through the shelves, letting your hands have their own mind. Now, you were the picture of intensity. You had welcomed her into your home with a quick kiss and a squeeze of her hand, but you hadn’t said much as you led her into the kitchen and gestured at the island to a place that was empty, but had a glass sitting next to it. She took the hint, hopping up and watching as you went back into a flow state.

Every once in a while she would want to make a comment, but every time your hands started moving at a speed she didn’t think was possible for a human to achieve. She wondered how you had learned to cook like this, what prompted you to learn to cook like this, with a million spices and minced vegetables, in bulk. How did you have time to do this?

She got lost watching you, almost slipping into her own meditative state, but was pulled out by your touch. It was brief, if she had been doing anything but watching your hands she would have missed it. As you passed by her on the way to the pantry, her hand brushed over her forearm as though it had its own brain. She searched your face for any sign that you knew what happened, but all she saw was focus. And the dark circles around your eyes.

That was new.

But she didn’t bring it up, not yet. Not when you brushed her knee as you took the plates from the cabinet to the small breakfast nook you had created in the kitchen by the window. And not when you did it again bringing the pan of goodness to the table too.

“Come on, let’s eat.”

Your voice was quiet as you appeared in front of her, holding out your hand to her as she slid off the counter. She let you lead her to her seat, glass in hand. She couldn’t believe the volume in the pan, wondering how you would ever finish it.

“That looks amazing, but I think you would be more suited cooking for a little league team, not me.”

“Oh no, I’m sending leftovers with you. And some are going in my fridge. Others are going in my freezer for a rainy day.” You let out a little huff of laughter as you served the meal and sat down in your usual spot.

“Oh good,” she said simply, wondering when the right time to bring up the elephant in the room that was apparently obvious to only her. You looked content for the most part. You glanced at her every once in a while between bites and sips of water, eyes full of what she couldn’t describe, but surrounded by those damn dark circles.

“So I have to ask. Are you sleeping?”

You stopped what you were doing, wrinkled your brow.

“Uh, what do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean. Your eyes look like you’ve been punched and you’re in this state I haven’t seen before. Whether you’re in some kind of flow state or it’s one step away from being a brain eating zombie I’m not sure.”

She really hoped she hadn’t just upset you beyond repair.

“Can’t sleep,” you whispered, using the volume that made people question if it was you or their conscience speaking.

It was Fennec’s turn to look confused.

“I can’t sleep,” you tried again, “I’m so tired all the time but when it comes time to go to sleep my brain just won’t shut up. I’ve tried everything over the last week since it started. I’ve exercised, that makes it worse. I’ve tried chamomile tea, it just makes me sleepier and causes me to almost cry because I’m so tired and want to sleep but I just can’t. I’ve tried masturbating, but the whole brain-running-in-circles-thing just stops any progress from being made. I’ve tried going to bed early, going to bed later, reading on the couch, reading in the library, reading on the floor, reading medical journals in the bed,” you took a breath finally, “Nothing helps. I eventually go to sleep but then I wake up and it’s like I didn’t get any rest at all.”

You went back to the last few bites on your plate, looking to all the world like you might actually fall asleep. She watched you while she finished as well.

“Okay, Doc. Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to go find whatever book you’re loving the most right now, you’re going to go sit on that couch, and you’re going to read it while I clean up.”

“But--”

“No buts. Go. Chop chop.” She waved a hand at you as she stood up and grabbed the plates off the table to take back to the sink.

“But you don’t--”

“I’ll figure it out. Go. Now.”

You just nodded, not sure why she was so upset with you. You went into the library to grab the book you were actually enjoying in the midst of your exhaustion. You took it back to the living room, perched on the couch. You let yourself sit back for a moment and take in what was happening around you. Your favorite thing was the sound of Fennec in your kitchen. The clink of the dishes, the sound of the water running occasionally. You wanted her to come sit with you but you just listened and eventually let yourself read. The pages started to turn, you fell into the story. You came to the end of the chapter as you felt her presence in front of the couch.

“Feeling better?”

You nodded simply, tucking your feet under you and gesturing for her to sit by you.

“Listening to you in there helped the most,” you said quietly.

“Yeah?” She sat down facing you.

You just nodded, distracted by the way she was watching you and the way her hands rested on her legs. You wanted to reach out and touch them.

Your hands, of course, were moving before you had finished the thought. Your fingers skimmed over the backs of her hands and you shifted to sit on your knees to get closer to her. Your hands continued their journey up to her shoulders as hers cradled your face. You let yourself have a quick inhale as her thumb caressed your cheek and started tracking toward your mouth. As it moved over your lips, you placed a kiss to the pad of the digit. You were focused on her face, saw the way her eyebrow quirked as she pressed down on your bottom lip every so slightly.

You let her.

And you let your tongue slip out for a kitten lick that didn’t surprise her, just made her press further into your mouth. When the first knuckle was at your lips, you let your teeth rest on it while your tongue swirled around her thumb.

Before you could get carried away, she replaced it with her own lips, letting you explore her mouth and rest your arms over the tops of her shoulders. She coaxed you to move to kneel over her lap, letting her arms wrap around your waist while one hand pressed into the middle of your back and the other grabbed the back of your neck. She pressed you closer to her and you groaned against her lips (and against your will) when the movement caused you to grind down against her. Her mouth trailed kisses across your jaw, not breaking contact with your skin until she could whisper against the shell of your ear,

“Do it again, sweet one.”

You moved with hesitancy, just letting yourself brush over the apex of her thighs, testing out the way the seams of your pants felt. She grabbed your hips, giving you more stability. Sensing your reluctance, she encouraged you ,

“That’s it. Keep going, harder if you want to.”

As you experimented with the angles, you found just the right one, started rutting against her with more force. She kissed at your neck and your head fell to the side and your mouth fell open with a soft moan. She mouthed at the place where your neck and shoulder met, but didn’t leave a single mark. She pulled back a few centimeters, your hips stilled.

“What time do you have to be up tomorrow?”

Not what you were expecting.

“4am, same as it’s been for the last couple weeks.”

She faced you, held your gaze, took in your rumpled hair and the slight sheen across your forehead, your lips parted just so as you tried to catch your breath.

“I want you to sleep. Will you let me help you with that?”

You nodded.

“Alright, sweet one. Stand up for me.”

When you were on your feet facing her, she tapped at your hip.

“Go lay on your bed, take these off.”

You heard her doing something as you padded into your bedroom, clicked on the soft lights that you liked when you were intimate. You decided you should probably brush your teeth so you could pass out at some point. You pulled the pants and underwear off, considered removing your sweatshirt. When the slight chill of the room hit your legs, you decided against it but did remove your bra. You turned on the radiator before you went to finish following her instructions. You weren’t quite sure how you should lay, so went for comfort. You leaned against the pillows at the head of the bed, propped up so you could see her come in, and pulled a throw blanket over your legs while the room warmed up.

When she came in, she had taken off her own sweater and pants, leaving her in a tank top and her underwear. She climbed up in front of you just out of reach.

“I have an idea, sweet one. You said you get too far into your own head when you try to touch yourself at night. How about, you tell me how you would usually do it, and I’ll do it for you. You’ll have to stay focused on what we’re doing, and that should shut that pretty mind up long enough for you to come and go to sleep.”

“But…” you trailed off.

“But what?”

“But what if I want to feel your mouth on me?”

“I know how much you like that, but not tonight. Tonight you need to sleep. Tonight I want to know how you make yourself feel good.”

“I understand.”

“Good, now sit up for just a second.”

As you did, she moved to sit behind you so that you were between her legs and she had you lean back against her.

“Go ahead.”

“Um, first I would see if I could play with my nipples through my sweatshirt, see if I could feel my thumbs through whatever shirt I was wearing.” You took a steadying breath as you felt her hands cup you through the sweatshirt. “I’d use my thumbs to test it out.”

Her thumbs brushed over where your nipples stood out, hard still even though you were warm. Not satisfying.

“If I couldn’t feel it, I would slip my hands up under it and play with them directly, just enjoy the sensation.”

She got the hint and you both let out a heavy breath when she rolled the hard buds between her fingers.

“How long would you do it for?” she whispered behind you.

“It depends on the day, usually just until I’m squeezing my legs together and a little desperate to touch myself.”

“Mm, I bet. How are you feeling now?” She pressed wet kisses up and down your neck, wishing she could mark you as hers again but not certain if your turtlenecks were clean. Another time.

“I--I’m a little desperate for you to put your hands on me.” You squirmed in her grasp and she hooked her knees under yours, holding you still.

“Yeah? Tell me what you would do next, sweet one.”

“I would sort of, I guess cup myself is the right word? Put some pressure on my mound, tease my inner thighs with my other hand, start to stroke my outer lips.”

As you spoke, her hands found their way under the blanket, doing exactly as you told her. You would say it felt like when you did it, but that would be a lie.

“You’re so methodical. Am I doing it right?”

“Feels diff--” your breath caught as her fingers found your clit, skimming over it but making your hips jump nonetheless, “Feels different but so good, want to try and make myself feel like this next time I’m by myself.”

That got you a nip to where your neck met your shoulder.

“Keep talking, sweet one. You stop talking, I stop touching you. What do you do next?”

You nodded quickly, adjusting so sitting spread out for her was easier on your hips.

“I would let my fingers tease my labia open, seeing if I was wet enough to keep going, adding a little lube if I wasn’t.”

“I say you’re wet enough, you’re dripping. What’s got you so excited?”

“Mmp, it’s you, you holding me, touching me, feel like I’m on fire,” you managed to get out between the noises she was pulling out of you.

“On fire, huh? Think you’re warm enough to uncover a little? Want to see you.”

You didn’t say anything, just pushed the blanket far enough back that you both could see in your lap.

“I would start to rub at my clit some, just figuring out what feels good today. Other hand would just kind of drift over my skin, pads of the fingers lightly brushing over it. If I really got into it would play with my nipples more.”

You were pretty sure you were going to need a day or two to process just how well she could follow what you were asking for. You knew they were her hands, knew the difference in sensation that was another person touching you, but it still amazed you.

“Let me guess, this is where that pretty little brain of yours would start to drift.”

Under her touch, you were starting to pant, couldn’t do anything more than nod.

“I’m going to do things my way now, little one. But you have to let me know what’s feeling good and what’s not. I need to hear every beautiful sound that comes out of that mouth, I need to feel how you move against my touch. Can you do that for me?”

“Yeah, ‘course I can.”

“Good. Would you like me to tell you what I think about at night?”

“Yes, Fen, please,” your voice became more high pitched as she slipped a finger inside of you, caught your clit under her thumb, tweaked one of your nipples.

“I think about that night when you first let me touch you. How you squeezed me with your legs while I ate this perfect pussy of yours,” she slipped a second finger in, crooked them ever so slightly, not quite trying to find your G-spot just yet, “You tasted so good, loved the way you got so messy when you came.”

Her other hand came back to give your clit some attention.

“A little to the right, please, down just some, ooohmygod right there.”

Your hips had a mind of their own, twitching up against her, chasing that delicious friction, needy whines starting to spill out of your mind.

“I also think about the next morning, you had already had a whole morning before I woke up. When I found you in the kitchen cooking breakfast you had just showered, your hair on top of your head, that black silk robe moving with you,” she went in search of your G-spot now, stroking the spongy area with her two fingers, gave some more pressure to your clit that was positively aching.

“Please don’t stop, please!”

“I’m not going to, baby, wouldn’t dream of it.”

“T-tell me more about that time, one of my favorite memories.”

“Anything you want. I know it was so sweet, you just talking about your morning, making your second cup of coffee. I heard all you said, but all I wanted was to take you back into the library and spread you out on that couch again. I wanted to find all the different ways to make you come apart, wanted to learn more about you like I am now.”

“Want to do the same, want to do it n--” your orgasm cut you off. Tiny little whimpers and a refrain of, “Fenfenfenfenfenfen.”

“That’s it baby, so perfect for me.”

“For you,” you whispered as you came down, her fingers leaving you before you ended up overstimulated. You caught one of her hands, bringing it up to clean yourself off of her.

After you had given the other hand the same treatment, the two of you moved in sync, you curling into her side, your favorite place to be these days.

“Hey,” she whispered as she pet your hair, rubbed your back. “I wasn’t mad at you earlier.”

You looked up at her, curiosity etched on your face.

“I was mad at the way they’re treating you. You do everything for that place, and they take your help away from you, leave you working so hard, not leaving you any time to take care of yourself.”

“It’s really o--”

“No. It’s not. I just wanted you to have some time for yourself, to get you feeling like you again, get you to be able to sleep tonight.”

“I’ll sleep better if you stay,” you hoped the smile on your face and light tone would convince her.

“How did I know you were going to say that? Okay, I’ll stay, but only if you go take a shower and promise to try and be asleep before I’m out of mine.”

“I can handle that.”

You were true to your word. You were mostly asleep when she slipped under the covers beside you, just settling down more and tucking yourself against her.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tagging: @promiscuoussatan @phoenixhalliwell @ifimayhaveaword @maybege 

[muselover1901]

Re: prompts. “Quarantine.” Alternatively, something based off urban legends. Thanks!

Well it took me forever, but hey, the world is crazy and I am just so proud of myself for finishing this Quarantine AU for you! It’s definitely WAY bigger than a drabble (at just over 2700 words) but I had a lot of fun writing it and it really pushed my abilities as a writer. Thank you for the ask! Enjoy :)

Edit: Now posted to AO3

Here With(out) You

“Are you getting close to finishing? It’s almost eight o’clock and we haven’t eaten dinner yet,” Zen says as he plops down beside Shirayuki—well, not exactly beside her, but just outside the orbit of her ever-present sticky notes, journal articles, and scratch-paper lesson plans. She acknowledges his presence with a noncommittal hum before continuing her vigorous typing on the laptop balanced on her knees. Even before the pandemic, it wasn’t totally unusual for Shirayuki to work late—she is a graduate student, after all—but lately she has been spending every waking hour on either her lab’s vaccine research or creating online lessons for her introductory biology students.

Zen’s work-life balance honestly hasn’t been much better, but since most of his work as the Mayor’s Chief of Staff involves writing reports and attending video call meetings, he can turn off his computer at the end of the day and walk away from work. Shirayuki, unfortunately, does not have the same luxury.

His stomach growls, upset at the lack of food this late in the evening. Zen reaches over, guiding a stray hair behind her ear before setting his palm against her shoulder to get her attention.

“I can make us something easy, if you want. You really should take a break to eat something.”

Shirayuki doesn’t respond. He squeezes her shoulder gently and dips his head to try to catch her gaze, but she reacts with naught but a firm pursing of her lips as she scrutinizes her screen even more. Zen gives her a small shake, as if to wake her.

“Hm?” She blinks up at him, broken from her trance, her voice sounding thin and tired. “Sorry, Zen, I really need to get this done tonight.”

She gestures vaguely to the smudged sticky-note to-do list by her laptop keyboard, the usual tasks of exercise, meal prep, and do something fun with Zen and friends crammed between terms he half-recognizes as different types of data analyses.

“We have our Friday meeting tomorrow and I need to have the preliminary results ready to present.”

“It’s fine,” he says, rubbing his hand up and down her arm and offering her a tender smile as she turns back to her spreadsheet. She is such a hard worker, and right now she’s both working to save lives and to educate the next generation of scientists. Now was not the time to be selfish—even though he misses spending time with her, they just have to push through. And if that means Zen has to cook meals by himself, without Shirayuki’s incredible culinary talent for support, then he will gladly put his limited skill to use.

“How about I make pancakes?” he suggests, “I think we still have some eggs that need to be used, so I could scramble them too—if you want?”

Without looking up, Shirayuki murmurs a dry, “Sounds great, thank you.”

Zen stands and makes his way to their kitchen, rolling up his sleeves as he goes. Even after three years of living together and countless Sundays spent chopping endless armies of vegetables as they prepped meals, there are few dishes he trusts himself to cook properly. It’s Mitsuhide and Kiki’s fault, really. When they were his roommates sophomore year, he tried his hand at a simple vegetable stew to feed Mitsuhide’s hockey team at their annual fall party. The final product honestly wasn’t half bad, but he forgot to peel the vegetables, which gave the soup a mild dirt-like aftertaste.

He honestly thought he would be able to laugh it off and learn from such a minor culinary mistake, but it turned out almost no one was willing to let him live it down—even Shirayuki couldn't resist the occasional jab when they cooked together. Indeed, one of the last times they enjoyed quality time together was during a massive day of meal prepping after their first pandemic shopping trip. Hours of chopping and grating and sautéing had driven them a little crazy, and Shirayuki had broken out in giggles while he diligently peeled his seventeenth potato.

It had taken some prodding, but eventually she managed to hold back her laughter enough to snicker, "It’s nice of you to actually peel them this time."

He’d responded with the most convincing glare he could muster before selecting a particularly long piece of peel from the pile on the counter, turning to her with a dangerous smirk, and depositing said peel on top of her head. This only served to bring back her laughter in full-force, the contagiousness of it gripping him and dragging him along until their whole house reverberated with the ridiculousness of it all.

Unlike vegetable soups, Zen had yet to mess up a batch of pancakes in his lifetime, a fact which he was quite proud of. That’s why he’d chosen to make them for Shirayuki the first morning after she stayed the night at his place. They’d groggily rolled out of bed, blushing furiously as they realized that their late-night study session for Advanced Composition had ended with both of them passed out on top of Zen’s covers with their laptops discarded by the foot of the bed. He’d insisted on making her breakfast before she left, partly because he felt bad about their awkward start to the day, but mostly because he’d been smitten with her for months and he just wanted to keep doing things with her.

Zen smiles at the memory as he gathers the ingredients and begins measuring out the flour. Even after all this time, he still treasures every moment together. And now, as they are stuck working from home for the foreseeable future, he misses her more than he did before they moved in together. Although they are around each other nearly all day, every day, they hardly interact outside of breakfast and a kiss goodnight. He sighs and forces his focus back to mixing the batter. Shirayuki is working hard and here he is being selfish again. He should be stronger.

Pushing down his loneliness, he flings himself into scrambling eggs and flipping pancakes with gusto. He quickly finishes the first set of pancakes, butters them, and stacks them neatly on Shirayuki’s plate next to her portion of eggs. For the final touch, he sprinkles a hint of powdered sugar across them and places a little dollop of fruit preserves on top. Hopefully these would look appetizing enough to entice her into taking a break from work to eat. With her plate in hand, Zen makes his way back to the living room and sets her meal on the coffee table.

“Food’s ready,” he announces. “Please don’t forget to eat.”

Shirayuki pauses, tired eyes flicking away from her screen to meet his and offering all the gratitude she can muster. “Thank you, Zen. I promise I will eat as soon as I finish this analysis.”

Zen offers a quick smile in return before heading back to the kitchen to make dinner for himself. He’d better check on her soon, just to make sure she doesn’t get sucked into her work despite her promise—although it is never intentional, her basic needs often fall by the wayside when she is hyper-focused like this.

Fifteen minutes later, Zen returns to the living room with his own stack of pancakes (chocolate chip) and scrambled eggs (sprinkled with his friend Obi’s homemade hot sauce, because the pain was always worth the flavor). And just as he feared, Shirayuki hasn’t touched her food.

“How’s it coming? Are you going to eat soon?” Zen settles into his spot on the couch next to her and cuts into his pancakes with his fork.

“Hm? Oh yes, I figured out why that regression was behaving unexpectedly, I had just flipped the variables.” She bites her lip. “I guess after I fixed that, I just moved on to the next thing.”

Zen reaches out to tenderly place a hand on her cheek and guide her eyes away from her screen and to his own. Her eyelids droop a little, and he notices a small crease between her eyebrows—she looks so tired. He drags his thumb across her cheekbone and her eyes flutter shut as she relaxes into his hand.

His heart skips a little at the intimacy of their position; after all, it had been weeks since they had really shared a moment like this, just comfortable in stillness with each other’s full attention. Eyes still closed, Shirayuki reaches up to hold his hand against her cheek and sighs as she turns her head to press her lips against his palm. With a gentle squeeze of his hand, she releases him and turns to exchange her laptop for her plate.

Although she continues working while they eat, Zen is relieved to see her diligently taking bites between bits of code. It doesn’t take long before she cleans her plate entirely. With a yawn, Zen stretches and rises from the couch before collecting their dishes and returning to the kitchen to clean up. The clock above the stove reads 10:08pm.

How did it get so late? He’d just have to head right to bed after this. Dozing off during his morning call with the Mayor was not how he wanted to start his day tomorrow.

After finishing the dishes and changing into his sleep shirt, he returns to the living room to let Shirayuki know he’s going to bed—apparently she still has a couple hours of work ahead of her, but she promised she’d come to bed as soon as she was done. With Shirayuki resigned to her work for the night, Zen heads to their bed and does his best to get comfortable. As the weight of the blanket settles over him, he melts into the mattress and takes the deepest, most relaxing breath he’s taken all day. Despite his body giving in to its need to rest, Zen’s mind still races with thoughts of the meeting tomorrow morning and of the latest case counts in the city. God, he can’t wait for the day when all of this chaos is over. He and Shirayuki could take a weekend off and hike Mount Koto just like they did senior year after finals. He sighs at the thought.

Visions of them packing their picnic supplies into his old backpack flash through his mind. He’s smiling as he makes Shirayuki’s sandwich with the mustard by the meat and the veggies under the cheese, just the way she likes it. The sunshine warms their faces as they walk along the trail, and Shirayuki is a vision in her button-up hiking shirt and sunhat, all glowing skin and bright smiles. He reaches their picnic spot first, so he spreads their blanket and sets out their food. Shirayuki’s still a ways behind, but she’ll be there with him soon, he tells himself. She will. He busies himself smoothing the blanket and making sure her sandwich is arranged just so with a nice serving of chips and a gleaming red apple.

He’s just about to polish her apple for a second time when he realizes he doesn’t hear the crunch of her footsteps on the trail anymore. Panicked, he shoots up from his seat and runs over to the trail to try to find her, to no avail. Maybe she went off-trail to relieve herself? No that can’t be it, she’s taking way too long, and she would have told him if she was going off trail, right? Oh god—what if she hurt herself and she’s stuck somewhere down the trail? Zen abandons the picnic and runs as fast as his legs can take him down the trail, until—

He hears the faint tapping of fingers on a keyboard. Looking across the trail, he sees the edge of a laptop screen poking out from behind a tree. As he approaches it, the sound gets louder and louder, until it feels almost deafening and Zen has to cover his ears to avoid the incessant din. He looks around the tree’s thick trunk and sees Shirayuki in front of the screen, her hair disheveled and eyes unblinking as she types away.

She’s absolutely overworking herself! Zen can’t let her keep doing this. He should have caught it before it got this bad, he should have pulled her away from work and made her take care of herself. Regardless, he refuses to let this go on any longer. He takes a deep breath, removes his hands from his ears, and reaches out to set his hand on her shoulder as he always does when he needs to get her attention. His hand goes right through her, as if she were a ghost.

He wakes to find her side of the bed empty.

Zen’s sleep shirt is clinging to his sweating chest and the sheets are tangled up in his legs. He kicks them off and rolls over with a groan. So much for getting a good nights’ sleep before the meeting tomorrow morning. He reaches for his bedside lamp, trying to feel the small switch in the dark. It takes him a minute, fingers clumsy and sleep-addled, but he finally finds it with a click and squints against the soft, yellow light. He yawns and drags his phone towards him by its charging cable and groans again when he sees the time. 2:37am.

With little desire to return to the stifling sheets, he decides it’s best to just get out of bed and have a glass of water before trying to sleep again. He shuffles out of the bedroom, and as the door clicks behind him, his tired mind peripherally registers that the living room light is still on. But with water being his body’s primary goal, he drowsily continues on to the kitchen and downs a full glass in three big gulps when he gets there. With his mind cleared from the coolness of the water, he realizes that even though the living room light is still on, Shirayuki’s persistent typing is absent.

When he reaches the living room, he finds Shirayuki on the couch, slumped to the side with her lips parted and a quiet snore escaping her with each exhale.  Her laptop is open and teetering dangerously close to the edge of her lap, but the screen has long since shut itself off. There’s still a pencil behind her ear, too.

With as much gentleness as he can muster this late at night, Zen extracts her laptop and moves it over to her desk so it can charge overnight. He removes the pencil from behind her ear and brushes her hair away from her eyes.

“Shirayuki, come to bed.” Her eyes crack open ever so slightly, and she grumbles but does not stir. Zen sighs. Even in sleep—no, especially in sleep—she’s as stubborn as ever.

“I’m going to pick you up, okay?” She mumbles something unintelligible, but’s all the affirmation he needs. He pushes his arms underneath her knees and shoulders, steels himself, and scoops her up. At first, her head lolls to the side, but then she turns and nuzzles against his chest. He can’t help but smile down at her as he carries her back to the bedroom and slowly places her on top of the sheets.

“Shirayuki, you should change out of your clothes,” he says.

She stirs a bit before slurring, “Don’t wanna. Wanna sleep.”

“If you don’t change now, you’ll regret it in the morning. You know you will.”

At this, Shirayuki groans and pushes herself up off the mattress. She insists he help her take off her clothes, which makes him laugh and blush in equal measure.

It’s only after she is changed and settled under the sheets that he finally lets himself sink into their bed again, mind and body finally relaxed with the knowledge that she’s next to him and already half asleep. He turns off his bedside lamp with a click and lets the rhythm of her breathing lull him back to sleep. Just as the last remains of his consciousness are about to slip away, he feels the delicate press of fingers against his shoulder, the tickle of a whisper against his ear, and the softness of a kiss against his temple.

“Thank you, Zen. I love you.”