#doesn't mean that there aren't more people out there

[reignpage]

how do you think jjk men are with embarrassing moments during sex? like if something embarrassing that happens to either them or their partner, do they play it off, try to inject humor, swear off sex to be a monk?

i read a similar post by an author advocating for well, not just more realistic depictions of sex in fics, but to include some of the awkwardness present in them too?? their post included geto’s hair getting stuck in butt cracks, Toji pulling a muscle, Nanami losing his boner, and Choso full on shitting himself accidentally to help with reader’s embarrassment over queefing 😭😭😭

like yes it’s funny and bonkers but cuz sex isn’t always the passionate sexy fuckfest we see in fics/movies, people don’t always cum at the same time, yes you DO need lube AND prep, foreplay DOES matter, dryness or losing an erection midway no matter how horny you are is common yano?? 😤😤

lowkey wanted to go anon lest you call me perpetually horny 😭 but ignore me if my shit’s getting old

own your shit bae, no pun intended. ur horniness could never get old. I like these questions cause they're like brain teasers. okay okay lemme have a go

Gojo:

says a cringy line

I can totally see him trying something new that he thinks would be super sexy like

"oh yeah? you like that? you're such a dirty whore, aren't you? come on, cum and show me who you're daddy is."

reader will pause and stare at him like, did you hear yourself?

gojo will have a moment of realisation and give himself the ick. even he has limits.

he collapses on top of reader and begs her to forget that, will be a blushing mess.

he'll think about it once in a while and cringe

but in the moment, he'd throw a tantrum if you can't stop laughing and making fun of him.

"it wasn't that bad! you're being mean, seriously. I just got caught up, okay? stop laughinggggg"

gets very pouty, protests, and you have to seduce him back, really compliment the hell out of him

then he'll force you on top and make you take the lead so he doesn't give himself another opportunity to be embarassing

Geto:

trying to switch positions in a tight space and then you accidentally rest your elbow on his long hair and he almost rips outs chunks

probably gets irritated because you've damaged his brilliant hair

takes a breather and then starts back up again

punishes you during sex

will crack a smile if you do

"yeah, alright, laugh it up. but if I develop a bald spot, neither of us will be laughing."

will make sure that never happens again

might even pull your hair during sex to show you how it feels (not too hard obvi)

Choso:

might get too subby lol

like "am I a good boy mommy? am I doing good? I don't want my mommy to be mad at me" and he's in tears

idk how to write mommy kinks lol

and you both have a moment of clarity where it's like, damnnn you okay? didn't know you had trauma like that

he'll get very shy and embarrassed

might even start crying, trying to run away

you'll have to reassure him it's fine and then just go slowly and gently, having more loveydovey sex

late at night, he'll ask you if you really didn't mind because he doesn't want you to be freaked out or think he's not a man

but I imagine it'd become a kink you indulge him once in a while

just gotta teach him it's okay, just don't spring it on someone mid act lol

Toji:

trying a really acrobatic fucking position, whether in the living room or in the shower, gets his footing wrong and slips, smacks his head against the wall, takes you down with him

he knocks himself out

you have to wrangle his 200 pound or something body in to a safe lying position and wait for him to come to

when he does and he remembers what happens

bro is in denial

no he didn't slip

no he didn't overestimate himself

no it didn't hurt

no he's not embarrassed stop asking him

gets very grumpy and will storm off, grumbling under his breath

comes back calmer

neither of you mention it but it hangs in the air as you both prepare dinner together

once sat across each other, you make an eye contact and you burst out laughing

he rolls his eyes but he's got a smile on his lips

"yeah yeah, what fucking ever. you try lifting your heavy ass up whilst you're balls deep"

next time tho, he gets you back by forcing you to endure vanilla sex, going very slow and shallow and overly sweet

makes you beg for him to fuck you normally

he'll consider it

Nanami:

drunk sex, becomes wayyyy too emotional

"sweetheart, you're the most beautiful thing in the entire world, I love you so much do you know that? I honestly -hiccup!- c-can't live without you, oh goodness, please don't make me live without you!"

he's still inside, he's not even thrusting anymore, he's just crying into your neck like a baby

you're brushing his hair, shushing him, orgasms forgotten

might vomit on you a little

wakes up with a killer hangover and a night full of memories he wishes he could erase

"oh god, honey. I'm so terribly sorry. I can't believe I did something so ridiculous. no I know loving you openly isn't ridiculous, but I wouldn't be wrong to say crying, leaving you unsatisfied, forcing you to care for a man child, and cherry on top, vomitting on you is just a little ridiculous."

has to go make it up to himself for being a terrible husband

will spoil you for the rest of the week

or anytime he remembers

might actually drink less because of it lol

Sukuna:

he'd kill you if he did something embarrassing

pray he never does

[loveandleases]

How would each ro react to the mc parnets trying to be involved in their child life?

Cause they sound insane as hell considering how they are acting

I'm not going to go into too much detail because some of that will be in the story itself. (below the cut!)

❤️ Cam - Originally, MC's parents treated him well. (likely due to that last name of his.) But, once they realized he was the black sheep of his family, their treatment soured. He sees them for who they are - self-serving and opportunistic. For him, it's a big no. Big no. He knows them too well to give them the benefit of the doubt. "Maybe you should focus on Jade, I mean why stop now right?"

💙 G - So, MC's parents met G several times when they were attending Uni together. They initially liked G, especially when they thought G was on track to become a surgeon. G got along with them until they began noticing the favoritism between MC and Jade. They had hoped they would improve, but from what they noticed they never did. Over time they realized that MC's parents' treatment wasn't a fluke - it was a pattern. G likes to think things through and figure out what's going on. But their patience has limits, and they quickly decide that the parents aren't worth the effort. They don't hide their disdain.

💚 Kara - Our sweet girl likes to believe the best in people, including those two. Kara has been treated like royalty by them. So, she doesn't know all the bad. She has seen MC's parents when they're at their happiest. Surrounded by the Clarke's money and living it up, since they're family friends. Her optimism will crack though, once she starts seeing the difference in how MC is treated in comparison to Jade. Watching MC get brushed aside time and time again is eye-opening for her, and it even parallels. She often feels like a backup/afterthought to her parents. Her loyalty to MC will outweigh her idealism, and she'll start to see the parents for who they are.

💛 M - HATES them. Like really hates them. M has an amazing relationship with their mothers. So, seeing people act so aloof with their child, pisses them off. It's revolting. And you know how M is, sometimes they can hold their tongue, and other times it's out of their mouth before it's even fully processed in their mind. M thinks it's in MC's best interest to cut ties with them. Because they know MC deserves better, and if their parents won't give it to them. M will.

💜 Isaac - So, their feelings about MC's parents are complicated. Isaac lost their mother and has a pretty rocky relationship with his father. So, his perspective is unique. He knows what it's like to feel like a dollar sign to a parent, and he fears MC will face that too when they're more successful. Beneath that cynicism, there's a bit of sadness. Because they can't help but think about the relationship they had with their mother, that they wish MC could have. If Isaac thought there was a chance for MC's relationship with their parents to change and become healthy, they would oh so cautiously, support it. But if not, then he'd be the first to tell them to walk away.

🖤 Ardent - Ugh, this guy has really good parents. Most of his family is great. (then the others well.. spoiler) One of the two out of the ROs. He's used to arguments and disagreements with his family, but those are small fights. Over stupid things, it's never about favoritism or neglect. To him, family means showing up and making someone feel like a priority. MC's parents fail that test immensely. If MC needs companionship, a partnership, or a family he is ready to offer it all. For him, blood isn't what defines family; actions do.

[roxan1930]

The whole "Court of Dreams" is nothing but a joke

Rhysand, the IC and later Feyre just LOVE pretending like they're such amazing freedom fighters who build paradise and it's SO gross!

But guess what? You're not even a real court, you just got ONE city where people tolerate you with the rest of your court despising your damn slutty existance!

And what "dreams"?! You have a city that's been the same for YEARS! and a outside that city you don't give a shit about what happens!

The supposed "Court of Nightmares" and "Barbarian Illarya" are so bad cause they're actively working on making those they don't like more miserable instead of ACTUALLY working on making it better for those who need help! The female Illyrians STILL get their wings clipped because the ban isn't enforced and in the Hewn City you act like Mor has always been and will always the ONLY fea miserable there and everyone else is automatically evil! And I refuse to believe there aren't any other cities or towns outside of Velaris, the Hewn City and Illarya but that the IC literally forgot existed since they aren't really causing trouble, but "don't belong in Velaris"!

And again in Velaris, it's not even THAT great a place! Just because you're ignoring it doesn't mean people there on't have problems. Nesta's literally living in slums for at least a year and they only care cause they find it embarrassing that Feyre's sister is living there, not that there are even slums at all, and as soon as they decide they want Nesta gone there, they wreck a whole building and it's never mentioned that the other's living there or around got help finding new homes! I wouldn't even be surprised if a large portion of Velaris hates the IC too for their obnoxious, pompous elitist attitude with flaunting their money around but not using it to help the poor!

And let's be honest, the people of Velaris are completely ignorant to the rest of the world! They were all shielded during Amarantha's for 50 years and lived their lives all comfy and at hearing others suddered, all have an attitude of "oh. that's too bad for them, i guess." cause most of them literally don't know anything about what happened and don't understand anything about the world.

As much as Feysand they their groupies like to act like they're SO succesfull, even the ONE place they care about it still in many ways a mess!

I really want someone to just point all of this out to their faces, preferbably in front of th other High Lords too who then actually pay attention and point out their flaws as leaders since the other HL's (except Beron) at least care about and try to manage their whole courts without antagonizing the rest

[ariaste]

Props to OP for answering so gracefully, but I'm not going to answer gracefully. It is more important than ever to call out fascism whenever you see it -- especially the quiet, soft, poisonously insidious kind that Anon is practicing here.

Anon ostensibly wants to know: "Do authors realize that they're writing about things that some people might find disturbing, horrific, upsetting, repulsive, or simply just TMI?" (Yes, obviously they know. Authors are not stupid; that's usually a requirement of the job (not always. But usually).)

But what Anon is actually asking is, "Why don't authors stop themselves from doing a Bad Thing? Why doesn't anyone else stop them?" The assumption underlying that question is: "Surely if they realized that they were doing something disgusting, they would stop immediately." Even more covertly implied: "I think writing about certain things automatically taints you with moral degeneracy--that is, it marks you as a possible or potential criminal."

To that I say: My friend, writing is just thoughts copied onto paper, and thinking is not a crime. Only actual actions can be crimes. What does it matter what other people think about? Literally so what? Why do you want people to be stopped from thinking about those things ("did their editors ever gently ask them...")? Why do you care? Do you feel that an author should provide a list of justifications and excuses before it's permissible for them to write about something? Why? And who do you think should be in charge of that? The government???? YOU???????

To any person reading this post: If the above questions are personally upsetting to you, if you find yourself huffily thinking something like, "Well, I care because it could normalize--", NOPE, STOP RIGHT THERE. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 This is a big red flag: You (much like the Anon) are exhibiting some early warning signs of Fascism, and that is not something to take lightly in the current political climate. There are some drugs you shouldn't experiment with even once, and fascism is one of them. Repeat as often as needed: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS THOUGHTCRIME. WE DO NOT LIVE IN GEORGE ORWELL'S 1984.

But we already talk about thoughtcrimes now and then, don't we? I can't remember seeing someone talking about crimestop (also from Orwell's 1984):

In the Newspeak vocabulary, the word crimestop denotes the citizen's instinctive desire to rid himself of unwanted, incorrect thoughts (personal and political), the discovery of which, by the Thinkpol [Thought Police], would lead to detection and arrest, transport to and interrogation at Miniluv (Ministry of Love). The protagonist, Winston Smith, describes crimestop as a conscious process of self-imposed cognitive dissonance: The mind should develop a blind spot whenever a dangerous thought presented itself. The process should be automatic, instinctive. Crimestop, they called it in Newspeak. . . . He set to work to exercise himself in crimestop. He presented himself with propositions—'the Party says the Earth is flat', 'the Party says that ice is heavier than water'—and trained himself in not seeing or not understanding the arguments that contradicted them. Moreover, from the perspective of Oceania's principal enemy of the state, in the history book The Theory and Practice of Oligarchical Collectivism, Emmanuel Goldstein said that: Crimestop means the faculty of stopping short, as though by instinct, at the threshold of any dangerous thought. It includes the power of not grasping analogies, of failing to perceive logical errors, of misunderstanding the simplest arguments if they are inimical to Ingsoc, and of being bored or repelled by any train of thought which is capable of leading in a heretical direction. Crimestop, in short, means protective stupidity.

Read that twice, and then reread the Anon's question. Translate it through that lens: "Why," says the Anon, delicately disgusted, "are these authors not practicing better crimestop? I practice it all the time. Why aren't they?"

Great question, Anon. Why AREN'T they? Turn off your crimestop and give it some real thought.

(Hint: If the answer you come up with is "Because they are moral degenerates" or anything in that neighborhood, you are unfortunately still doing fascism. Try again. If you have tried several times and the only answer you can manage to come up with is a still a synonym of "moral degeneracy" then this is above my paygrade and I would recommend talking to a trusted grownup, a therapist, a spiritual leader, or possibly your least-online friend.)

Do you think authors sometimes don't realize how their, uh, interests creep into their writing? I'm talking about stuff like Robert Jordan's obvious femdom kink, or Anne Rice's preoccupation with inc*st and p*dophilia. Did their editors ever gently ask them if they've ever actually read what they've written?

Firstly, a reminder: This is not tiktok and we just say the words incest and pedophilia here.

Secondly, I don't know if I would call them 'interests' so much as fixations or even concerns. There are monstrous things that people think about, and I think writing is a place to engage with those monstrous things. It doesn't bother me that people engage with those things. I exist somewhere within the whump scale, and I would hope no one would think less of me just because sooner or later I like to rough a good character up a bit, you know? It's fun to torture characters, as a treat!

But, anyway, assuming this question isn't, "Do writers know they're gross when I think they are gross" which I'm going to take the kind road and assume it isn't, but is instead, "Do you think authors are aware of the things they constantly come back to?"

Sometimes. It can be jarring to read your own writing and realize that there are things you CLEARLY are preoccupied with. (mm, I like that word more than concerns). There are things you think about over and over, your run your mind over them and they keep working their way back in. I think this is true of most authors, when you read enough of them. Where you almost want to ask, "So...what's up with that?" or sometimes I read enough of someone's work that I have a PRETTY good idea what's up with that.

I've never read Robert Jordan and I don't intend to start (I think it would bore me this is not a moral stance) and I've really never read Rice's erotica. In erotica especially I think you have all the right in the world to get fucking weird about it! But so, when I was young I read the whole Vampire Chronicles series. I don't remember it perfectly, but there's plenty in it to reveal VERY plainly that Anne Rice has issues with God but deeply believes in God, and Anne Rice has a preoccupation with the idea of what should stay dead, and what it means to become. So, when i found out her daughter died at the age of six, before Rice wrote all of this, and she grew up very very Catholic' I said, 'yeah, that fucking checks out'.

Was Rice herself aware of how those things formed her writing? I think at a certain point probably yes. The character of Claudia is in every way too on the nose for her not to have SOME idea unless she was REAL REAL dense about her own inner workings. But, sometimes I know where something I write about comes from, that doesn't mean I'm interested in sharing it with the class. I would never ever fucking say, 'The reasons I seem to write so much of x as y is that z happened to me years ago' ahaha FUCK THAT NOISE. NYET. RIDE ON, COWBOY.

But I've known some people in fandom works who clearly have something going on and don't seem to realize it. Or they're very good at hiding it. Based on the people I'm talking about I would say it's more a lack of self-knowledge, and I don't even mean that unkindly. I have, in many ways, taken myself down to the studs and rebuilt it all, so I unfortunately am very aware of why I do and write the things I do most of the time. It's extremely annoying not to be able to blame something. I imagine it must be very freeing. But it ain't me, babe.

Anyway, a lot of words to say: Maybe! But that might not stop them from writing it, it might be a useful thing for them to engage with, and you can always just not read it.

Also, we don't censor words here.

[max1461]

I feel very bad and weird. I feel that something bodily is not working, uh. It's really hard to explain. I don't even know how to explain it. What it feels like it:

certain people's "identities" or "profile pictures in my mind" were deleted from my mind, so I still have factual knowledge of those people and I have memories featuring them, but they feel fake. They feel like people from a dream or something, not like they're real people, even though I know they're real.

The emotions associated with these people are still just as strong, but it's like they aren't attached to anything. They surge through me really intensely but find no place to rest. Uh it's like, I know factually who they're about but it doesn't "click", my brain can't find the person in its database or something so the emotion just comes up and then attaches to whatever I'm doing or whoever I happen to be talking to.

This was mostly just distressing and disorienting at first, but now that it's been two months I genuinely feel like I'm factually losing track of which feeling go with which people, because they keep coming up and re-attaching and it's confusing. I'm sad because I feel like I'm losing my sense of who my friends are, and I'm distressed because it feels very violating, like my relationships and memories are being invaded by whatever my brain happens to be thinking about at the time.

I'm scared that if this goes on long enough, I'll totally lose track and not be able to figure out what was what.

I don't know medically what it's happening. Everyone says it sounds like a TLE symptom but the problem is it's too consistent. It's not like I'm getting confused and then getting things a little more straight and then getting more confused, or whatever. It's totally black-and-white: these people's entries in my mental database have just been deleted, they're gone, there's no flux or whatever. That is not how I understand TLE to work, where confusion peaks after a seizure and then your mind kind of sorts things out, there should be an arc to it. Moreover I am not confused about anything else: it is literally just this, and things that feel like a knock-on effect of this. It feels very one-note.

MRI picked up nothing, which means no structural damage (there could still be damage but it would be micro scale). Also I wasn't hit in the head, this happened after anesthesia. So whatever happened had to be diffuse, right, it couldn't have targeted some specific region. And yet it feels like very specific information is fucked, and that's it. Everything else is fine, except for things that rely on this information (which, unfortunately, is a lot, because the people who's identities are messed up are people I think about pretty much daily, and with whom I associate all sorts of familiar activities and so on; there's pretty much no way to not think about it even if I'm trying).

WHAT is going on

[protect-namine]

yingdu episode 5 spoilers

ohhh my god this is everything I want from cheng xiaoshi. yes. perfect. sorry, but I'm a cheng xiaoshi whump liker and link click always brings out the best of them in episode 5 of each season.

there's just something cathartic about how when cheng xiaoshi becomes an emotional mess, it's also when he's most disconnected with the people he knows (physically, as he's diving in a photo and his only link to his home timeframe is a disembodied lu guang in his head) but it's also when he's most connected with strangers (when their own personal trauma lines up with his). to me, it's a showcase of empathy and a strange manifestation of his own agency. something about how the disconnect gives him the space to blow up, and the connection heightens it and grants him permission, almost, to express his anger more freely for his own sake and for another person's behalf.

like. listen, okay, I'm gonna ramble now because cheng xiaoshi is my favorite character in this entire show, but listen. sometimes some fans will conflate adjectives to his character that are usually associated with his character archetype, but they aren't necessarily true about him as a character. and I don't mean it in a, "he's not like that because he grows out of those traits" kind of way. I mean it in a, "he was never like that" kind of way.

one of those adjectives, for me, is when people call him immature. he isn't! to me! imo! he's got big emotions, yes, but I personally don't think the presence of big emotions indicates anything about maturity. because you know what? as long as his primary trauma (feelings of abandonment) isn't touched, he is very good at handling interpersonal conflicts, and that's what's interesting to me.

qiao ling hides relevant information from him? he removes himself from the situation to give himself space and sort out his feelings. he tells her he's fine and that he'll be back.

post-earthquake arc? I'll just copy paste what I already said in a previous ask:

what initially got me was when I was first watching S1, I thought the earthquake arc would have devastating effects on [shiguang's] relationship. listen, I didn’t know what I was getting into with link click, but I thought that was expected. it’s ripe for drama! but how do they handle the fight? they put their side business on hold but they still keep being roommates. they still do their day job. they still talk. they’re still upset but they give each other space but not to the point where they can’t stand existing in each other’s spaces. that’s when I realized that oh, they really trust each other. they have a very solid foundation for their relationship that not even the earthquake arc can break. they’re pretty level-headed about this, actually, all things considered? all the doomed yaoi stuff came later, but that’s just the cherry on top. it’s the way they handled conflict and disappointment in S1 that got me.

okay, protect-namine, why go through that whole tangent? BECAUSE! circling back to yingdu episode 5, we finally, finally get to see cheng xiaoshi let out some of his anger. and it's precisely because his primary trauma point was on the table. he can forgive a friend lying, and he can forgive being told not to change the past. because at the end of the day, qiao ling and lu guang stayed. they never left him.

but he cannot handle abandonment. he cannot understand why people leave. he cannot understand why he's been clinging on to false hope this entire time. and more importantly, he cannot understand how someone can be such a hypocrite about it. "a man who'd rather be kind to strangers than face his own son" like fuck man. cheng weimin you fucked up so bad.

it's the disconnect/connect thing again too. thematically, it makes sense. when does cheng xiaoshi blow up? when he's alone, far away from the people that ground him. alone, the feeling he hates the most. he's not even in his own body. he blows up when he's inhabiting a stranger's. he doesn't even get to be angry as cheng xiaoshi.

how fucked up is that. man. I love him so much.

also I'm going crazyyyy over the family themes going on in link click. much to say about the show itself across all seasons (the twins, qiao ling and cheng xiaoshi, even the liu siblings), but for this episode... god. okay this is slight speculation territory now and I'll try to keep this very short, because this is only tangential to the post. but. imagine xia fei getting the good parent figure in cheng weimin that cheng xiaoshi never had. and he doesn't know!! he's bitter inside about his dad and he's having hotpot with xia fei and he doesn't know he was in that school!! fuck that's so good. that's so juicy.

okay, sorry, I have a lot of feelings about cheng xiaoshi. he's my link click blorbo of all time, and I love when he experiences The Horrors™ because it's also when other sides of him gets to shine.

on a brighter note:

VEIN AND CHENG XIAOSHI MEETING AGAIN!!! their greeting was so cute. also omg does xia fei know? that his boss is maybe possibly a cannibal? actually, wait, I don't think I'd be surprised if he does know.

ah and finally. finally:

I've been having many thoughts on how yingdu approaches "friendships" and their transactional nature (mostly with regards to liu xiao) but I mostly thought they're headcanon stuff. but now. I'm so so happy that episode 5 is bringing out more of the quid pro quo theme. liu xiao with the gift giving. wang qing's "friends" (bullies) demanding her to cheat on the exam for them. and now, vein and cheng xiaoshi having a friendly greeting but also exchanging favors. so good. so good. it goes along with how there's so much handshakes and handholding this season (not just with lu guang and cheng xiaoshi, but with cheng xiaoshi and the the antagonist trio too, who have all met him by "helping" him in some way). something something trust and favors. probably something that deserves its own post though, but I wanted to point this out because I am soooo here for that. it's goes hand in hand (ha!) with the whole fraud/lies vs innocence/honesty theme this season, and deals/contracts being an equalizer to the two. very good. very tasty.

edit: ooh they also point to this in the YE6 trailer too. nice, nice. if you knew someone's true colors, would you still be their friend?

man, I love episode 5. it just hits all the stuff I personally wanted to see. the only flaw is that we still haven't seen the older version of wang qing, but yeah I kinda expected that they'll hide her until episode 6. they're giving her the liu xiao treatment from season 2. sigh. really wish she'd keep showing up in S3, we need more female characters in this show 🙏

[zainnaprollyloveslevi]

"My Kind of Heaven"

Simeon X MC (Married)

Summary: Simeon, your husband, has traded his celestial title for you. Now, you have to live with that fact as it haunts you in your everyday life. On top of that, insecurities lead you to say things and do things without thinking it through. However, your husband is determined to prove to you why you are worth every sacrifice.

Warning: SPOILERS!!! Angst to fluff! The narrator is a bitch. INSECURE MC. Nonbinary Reader/MC

Word count: 2.2k

Extra: Might be ooc. I haven't played the game in a while, and I don't know much about Simeon.

Sunlight sifts through the fabric of the curtains. Wind softly grazed the fabric, mimicking the motions of breath. The room felt warm, comfy, like home. You've been through a lot, you deserved this moment of peace. Your bed was soft and huge, because it was made for two. However, your husband has already left the warm sheets, now it's all for you to occupy. Simeon left for work ages ago, you stay at home most of the time.

How could you even consider going outside when you look like that?

You stretch your limbs, looking at the digital clock on your bedside table. It's 6:32 in the morning. It's time to get up. You slowly push your upper body to sit up right, still feeling a little groggy. However, your hunger overridden your desire to stay in bed. Legs dangling over the side of the bed, you were met with the mirror. It was weird, having a mirror right in front of your bed, but Simeon gently persuaded you to get one installed. It was huge, it took up your wall. You hated it.

Simeon, your husband, was a gentle soul. How could he not be? He was a former angel. An angel who loved you so much he set his heavenly wings on fire, losing his angelic title, all for you. Well, he didn't set them on fire literally, but it might as well have gone in that direction. You felt guilty. He would've stayed an angel, not running some cafe in the human world, providing for you. Sure, he was your husband, but he was so much more before this. He was an angel, now…

…he's just some guy married to someone who's better off six feet under.

You chuckled at that thought, looking at the floor, at your feet as it dangled off of the bed. He loved you, so much so that he married you. You said yes, not because you loved him too, but because it was all you could give back to the heavenly soul who sacrificed everything for you. That doesn't mean you don't love the man, you just hate yourself so much it overrides every other feeling you have for anything else.

Who wouldn't? Look at you. Mediocre. So mediocre you blend in with the background. There's nothing special about you. Your features don't work well with each other, if beauty standards were measured numerically, you'd be a negative.

And they are measured numerically. Mostly by people who think they can put a price on physical features. It doesn't matter if you're smart, kind, or talented. If you aren't a piece of ass, you're a nobody. You hated the thought, you hated entertaining It. It's the reason why you were so insecure. Every classmate, every peer, every user on social media, they all managed to out-shine you.

The only achievement you have is the fact that you're married to a former angel.

You gaze down at your hands, sitting palms down on your lap. What ugly, dry hands they were. You look at your thighs, what an ugly shape. You look up at the mirror. What a hideous creature you are. No wonder you were constantly rejected and pushed away by the people you adored. You chuckle sadly, sarcastically, a hint of anger vibrating in your throat. You were angry at the world for looking prettier than you, you were angry at the arrogant people who got away with everything just because they had a pretty face, but most importantly…

…You were angry at yourself.

You finally found the courage to stand up, feet weakly carrying you closer to the mirror as if this was your first time walking. Your eyes were glued to the eyes in the mirror, staring right into your soul.

What a hideous creature you are. This is what an angel sacrificed his holy title for? Pathetic.

Angry eyes stare right back at you. Is this what he would look like if he realized the monstrosity he married? Is this the way Simeon looks at you if he took off the rose-tinted glasses and looked at you and all of your repulsive glory? You managed to press a hand onto the mirror, palm flat on the smooth, clean surface.

You don't deserve this moment of peace.

You don't deserve jack shit.

This feeling of self-loathing, you always had it ever since you were young. It only grew stronger and more hateful when you found out Simeon was no longer an angel. You are the reason for an angel's fall, all because you needed to “stabilize your power”?

That makes you unsightly and weak.

The more you stare at your reflection, the more the flesh and features mold into one, the ugly creature you always have envisioned yourself to be emerges from the depths of your mind. You hated yourself, more than anyone could ever hate you. Why did you agree to this marriage? Why did you keep him trapped with someone like you? Here on earth, no longer something great, something like you. Stuck to take care of an overgrown baby, whining and crying about the way they look. You don't deserve a husband, you don't deserve him, and you definitely don't deserve a life.

“Love?”

A voice pierced through your train of thought, the illusion your hateful mind started to bring to life dissipated with only one word. You turn your head to the door, a tall figure standing by the light, a worried look on his face.

“MC, what's wrong?”

Simeon, still as ethereal as the day you met him, stood by the doorway of your shared bedroom. The ring glistened due to the rays of the sun shining through any vacant space surrounding him and the doorway. You stand up straight.

“Simeon.”

Your voice betrays your need to act composed.

“You're still here…”

It wasn't a question, it was an expression of surprise. You were so sure he left at around 5:00 am to prepare the cafe for opening. He steps forward, letting more sunlight in. Were the days always this bright?

“The new hire insisted he open the cafe, so I took this opportunity to plan a little us-day for us.”

His smile was soft, his words were gentle, an angel.

“Are… are you sure that he can handle the cafe on his own?”

“Well, Luke is there. They'll be fine.”

“You left a child to take care of the new hire?”

“No, love, I left the new hire to take care of the child.”

He smiles. You can't tell if he's joking or If he's being serious.

“Simeon, that's dangerous! What if something happens?!”

“Luke is a big boy now. He is more than qualified to work the shop. They'll be fine, love, I promise.”

He walks towards you, placing a hand on your shoulders before hugging you gently but tightly. Your chin rests upon his chest while he rocks you left and right, as if he's trying to sway you to sleep.

“...let me take care of you first.”

He lets the palm of his hand rest onto your head, fingers resting through the strands of your hair but not brushing through them. He hums.

“Are you having those thoughts again?”

You relax your shoulders. Sure, he has lost his celestial powers and rights but that doesn't change the fact that he has this naturally calming effect.

“... how did you know?”

“I know who I married, love.”

He plants a soft kiss onto your head, swaying you gently. A guilty pang fills up your heart. You don't deserve this.

“If it weren't for me, you'd still be up in the celestial realm with luke.”

There was a minute of silence, as if giving you a moment to say everything you needed to say. When you fell silent, he speaks.

“Heaven is not a place.”

“Huh?”

He smiles, letting go of the hug to look at you, hands resting on your shoulders. His eyes look right into yours.

“...It's when I look at you. Heaven is when I wake up each day to feel you next to me…”

He gently takes his hand and rests it upon the side of your face, rubbing your cheeks with his thumb.

“... I'd trade the entire world and myself if it meant I could spend even just a minute with you, my dear.”

Suddenly, he squeezes your cheeks with one hand, frowning a little.

“So don't ever blame yourself for my quote unquote fall. Blame me for wanting to be within your presence for more than just a day as if I need you to breathe.”

Those words, as sweet as they are, weren't enough for you. You brush his hand away from your face, letting your gaze drop down onto the floor.

“Stop it. Stop being so nice to me, Simeon.”

He takes a step back and straightens his posture and stance. He realizes that words from the heart won't be able to sway you.

“Look at me. Look at who you sacrificed yourself for!” You gestured to your face. “You wasted a good thing for some asshole you thought was pretty enough to wear a ring with!”

The words spill out of you. His expression is calm and composed, yet you can tell he's listening to everything you were saying. You continue,

“Wake up, Simeon. You're no longer an angel, you're a nobody.”

You can only hear yourself breathing. You don't know why you said that. Why are you self-sabotaging the one good thing you have? Do you hate yourself so much that you think it's okay to force others to feel the same? To hate you with the same exact loathing you have towards yourself? Would it be worth it?

His expression doesn't falter, his stance the same, but his voice changed.

“You're wrong.”

He responds, you scoffed. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Was he that foolishly in love with you that his common sense flew out the window? Maybe it disappeared along with this celestial status.

“Angel or not, I am somebody.”

He takes a step forward, it wasn't a statement, it was said as an argument.

“I am the owner of the now popular Cafe down the road, I have made several friends at the market, I am the legal guardian of a very good kid named Luke- who will one day become the best guardian angel there is!...”

He keeps stepping forward, you retreat. “Simeon, I'm sorry-”

“... I am friends with the CEO of the Ritcher Hotel Group who is also next in line for the Devildom throne, I had my brothers taken away from me as I stand by and watch them fall, I was one of the exchange students for a program in the Devildom where I fell in love with a fellow exchange student who I am married to now- and speaking of which-!”

He stops just right in front of you.

“I am your husband.”

Silence follows as you stare into his eyes, longing for you to understand.

“... I am a lot of things, my dear. You are too.”

He looked down at your hands, they were tense. He takes both of them and raises them to level with his chest, they soften.

“You are so many things that it saddens me to think that you don't see it.”

He plants a kiss to your thumb,

“You were a confused human who always needed help.”

He kisses your pointer finger,

“You were a stubborn human who always got themselves into trouble.”

He kisses your middle finger,

“You are an excellent student of magic, Solomon can attest to that. And finally…”

He kisses your wedding ring.

“You are my wife, the amazing person I have the pleasure of marrying.”

He rubs the back of your hand with his thumb, his gaze locked on the ring.

“All these lives, all these souls, all these worlds, and yet fate…”

He looks up at you, a smile on his face.

“...led you to me.”

You couldn't say a thing, you didn't even realize that you were on the verge of crying until tears started rolling out of your eyes. He wipes each one away.

“Hate yourself all you want, I'll be happy to remind you of how loved you truly are. You're not beautiful because you look pretty, you're beautiful because you're so kind and considerate.”

He chuckles,

“Almost a little too considerate.”

“Simeon, I'm sorry!”

You hiccuped, holding his hand as he wipes your tears away, he shushed you.

“It's alright. Do you want to spend the day here? We don't need to go outside. If there's something I can get you, I'll go get it for us.”

Your heart swells, melts, and cries. Your husband, your beautiful husband, loves you more than words can describe.

“What do you want for breakfast, love? I'll make it for you. My sanctuary, my heaven.”

[pinkrangerv]

Let's also note the first two there:

In conception, a large gametic cell ('egg') joins with a small gametic cell ('sperm') and then divides into four cells. This division is when we know conception is successful.

At literally no point do four microscopic cells have testes or ovaries, because physics takes issue with this.

In other words: Any attempt to enforce the anti-trans executive order will meet a simple litmus test of reality--what's written on paper doesn't fucking exist.

Now, it's possible to attempt to define 'male' and 'female' as 'at birth, has X reproductive organs'...except for the folks with both, only half a set, or none. And you'll notice that means that 'male' and 'female' are therefore SOCIAL categories--which holds up, because the category 'intersex', which claims to be about gametic production...doesn't cover people who have no gametic production, but ovaries or testes and other physical attributes, but does cover someone with large gametic cell production but a micropenis, or large gametic cell production but PCOS and thus a beard. (Listed cases are based off AFAB folks, just because I'm more familiar with that type; those who are AMAB have their own variations.)

So these orders aren't just illegal. They're not how words, medicine, biology, psychology, or physics work--which means that now this will very, very clearly be illegal.

Bear in mind: People will try to hurt you based on it. You're gonna have to defend yourselves. And the courts may rule it 'legal' for a while. But this means that now we have logical, objective reasons for saying 'there is a rule of law; that rule of law is modifiable and our current best attempt at government; this is NOT allowable under that rule; should we need violence, we can reset to rule of law and thus avoid the Reign of Terror\Stalin\some other dystopian nightmare'.

In other words: We may be able to avoid some bloodshed, and that's a good thing. So consider: How much do you want to disobey? What are you willing to suffer? Someone else may be in a better position to be a test case or martyr--but you may be in a position to contribute to making them look stupid (which en masse tends to sap their morale), or to screw with paperwork, or just write emails to your Congresscritters saying 'hey, there's no cost analysis here, exactly HOW much of my hard-earned money is paying for this totally pointless effort? Do we not have libraries, roads, or other ACTUALLY useful work to do? You know, at MY employment, we don't let people shit around on company time...'.

Go figure out what you're willing to do, and then see how you can use this to do some good. Remember: If you can't do anything else, you can at least make it clear that the response to a Nazi is to point and laugh. And you can probably do a lot more when you've gotten some minor victories under your belt. What can YOU do to make a Nazi regret being born?

Executive orders do not change the Constitution or laws passed in Congress.

Push back. Use your voice. Stay engaged.

DO NOT SUBMIT IN ADVANCE.

There are more of us than them.

[heartofbusan]

Reflecting on AYS I think what @hon3ymo0n touches upon here in their post, reflecting on how jikook, during the filming of AYS!, were used to the reality show set up: filming candid content (surrounded by cameras at all times) but how maybe they were not yet used to the focused attention on just the two of them.

It made me realize how filming a reality show, for the first time without their other members, made jikook stand out in a way they hadn't before. Jikook were essentially naked.

In the members' absence, the amount of cover provided became so obvious. They served as lightning rods, unintentionally and intentionally at times, deflecting akward silences or a look held too long. It led to some akward interactions mainly because, in my eyes, they had to self censor a lot of their conversations. The conversations they were probably having right before filming, the conversations late at night or in the bathroom, dare I say bedroom. Those unspoken words between two people who are intimate partners. If they were having a literal conversation on screen, that meant that it had probably been had before the cameras were turned on. Because no way in hell do I think they hadn't acknowledged to each other before getting into the car together how long it had been since they had met up. If anything, that conversation to be was about "together on screen", and not actually together in real life.

It leads me to a subject which I'll refer to as 'on screen vs. off screen'. They have on-screen persona's and off-screen relationships. They have private lives and public bonds. They have moments reserved only for them, and sometimes these moments trickle down into our depths of hell, and we get something wonderful like the rainy day fight.

When the members aren't there is when I believe the struggle to maintain the off screen and on screen becomes more difficult. Because we see the friction between the two. And that's wonderfully exiting to watch, yet I hope not too nerve wracking to experience. Jimin falling ill on day 1 of filming is one of those moments where he might have thought: 'Damn, this is where my off screen persona becomes unflatteringly visible during my on screen time..how can this show ever be aired?'

If that isn't a clear indicator of their ability (or lack of during times of crisis) to turn that switch on and off, to make a conscious decision to portray yourself one way during filming for the sake of 'content', then I don't know what is.

Another such instance is when JK, who imho doesn't really have , needs to switch on and off, got into bed with Jimin, and slapped his juicy ass...twice! How is that aiding the storyline of the show?! Two bro's traveling and enjoying nature while cuddling?! Are we on Bravo?! Yes, they were filming, but in full control of the cameras. This means: on screen personalities ON. But then Jimin, sleepy maybe still tired from being sick Jimin, gets bratty and JK reverts to his 'usual' behavior when it comes to putting lovely Jimin in his place, he play fights him. We also call that foreplay. But maybe that's just me. Tension ON. Shit, cameras also ON..let me get back to the storyline and eat my twinkies. A Freudian edit if I ever saw one.

[bitingdrivers]

bones au!! max tells daniel another new fact about himself - maxiel, 1.1k words - read on ao3

The Founding Fathers is busy tonight. The vintage interior of the bar is bathed in warm orange light, the chatter of people and soft music creates a gentle background to conversations. 

It's Friday evening, most people are here to relax after a stressful week of work, meet up with friends or celebrate. 

Max and Daniel aren't here to celebrate – their case isn't solved yet, but it hasn't been stressful either. Truth be told, Daniel is not sure why they're here. 

They were in the lab discussing the details of the case – the body was found on a demolition site, the victim turned out to be a stripper, who also worked in a financial firm. Max had said that he and Carlos found the cause of death – apparently someone punched the guy and he broke his neck on a corner of a bed frame when he fell. Daniel had decided that tomorrow he will talk to the victim's girlfriend. 

After that, they were both reluctant to end the evening, and instead decided to go have a bottle of beer at the bar. 

It's very noisy here so they have to sit close to hear each other. 

“You know, I don't understand why he was stripping,” Daniel says, taking a sip of his beer. 

“Well, a lot of young men become strippers because they need to pay for college,” Max explains before taking a sip too. 

Daniel cocks an eyebrow. “But he already had a job. He was a stock broker.”

“Then he simply liked doing it,” Max shrugs. “I understand it, the victim was handsome and he was probably doing it to feel powerful.”

“You think he was handsome?” Daniel smirks, taking another sip of his beer. He hopes it's not weird talking about a dead guy like that. 

“Yes,” Max hums. 

“I mean, you could be an exotic dancer too, with your alluring personality, muscular build and symmetrical features,” he adds, gesturing to Daniel. 

Daniel almost chokes on his beer. 

“Hah, thanks, Bones. But a good bod is not the only requirement to get into stripping,” he chuckles, rubbing his neck. “Оtherwise you'd be a stripper too,” Daniel ends, shaking his head at the ridiculous thought. 

As the evening marches on, the bar only gets busier, and louder, so it’s only natural for the two men to move in even closer to each other. Their shoulders are touching now, and Daniel can see the individual lashes on Max’s eyes as he studies Daniel before speaking. 

“I actually had once,” he admits.

“Had what?” Daniel asks, puzzled. 

“Stripped.”

Daniel almost chokes on his beer. Again. 

“Wh-For college?” Daniel falters. 

He doesn't expect Max to laugh. And it's not a chuckle either, it's his full-body laugh that makes him bend to the table. 

Daniel suddenly feels much drunker. Maybe this beer is stronger than he thought. 

Max wipes the corner of his eye, still shaking from laughter. “No, no, not for college. I wrote an anthropology paper on stripping in grad school,” he explains, grinning. 

“And you had to,” Daniel pauses, looking for the word, “participate for it?”

“Of course. I wouldn't be a scientist if I hadn't,” Max answers, taking a sip. His bottle is half empty. 

Daniel can see a slight blush on his cheeks. He decides it's safe to take a sip too. 

“What…what was your act?” Daniel finds himself asking. 

He feels a weird feeling rising in his chest, but he quickly pushes past it. There is nothing wrong with asking Max – his friend – about this. Daniel had had far more personal conversations with his mates. Maybe it's because Max is such a private person. 

Max raises an eyebrow. “My act?” 

“Yes, your stripping act. You know, a firefighter or a– a policeman…” Daniel trails off. 

“Oh. I didn't have an act,” Max replies, shrugging.

Daniel hums, picking up his beer – it's almost empty. It's getting late, but maybe they can have one more round. 

“I just used glitter,” Max drops. 

Daniel is starting to think that Max invited him here so he could kill him by making him choke. 

Max seems to take his silence as encouragement to continue. 

“One of the men there gave me this body glitter that you can put on your skin,” he says, rubbing his arms. 

“The next month I kept finding that glitter on all of my things,” Max frowns, shaking his head. 

The beer is definitely strong, Daniel thinks. He can't stop his mind from wandering – to pale skin covered in sparkly glitter, dotted with small freckles and soft hair. Max sits beside him in a simple white t-shirt and blue jeans. In his mind’s eye Daniel can see the way Max would peel off his shirt… 

He shakes his head to dispel the thoughts. No, they shouldn't do another round.

“Maybe if this anthropology gig doesn't work out you can pick it up again,” Daniel jokes, acting normal.

Max makes a face. “No, it was for the paper,” he pauses, “And I didn't like it.”

Daniel suddenly feels the need to stand up and do…something – shadow box or jump around or stand very closely to Max and growl at anyone who approaches them – but he's not sure why. He takes another sip instead. 

“The others of course loved it. But I don't think I was good at it. I am not used to acting like that,” Max says, looking away.

Like what, Daniel almost asks, but doesn't. His mind supplies an answer already. Jesus. 

Maybe he should go on a date or something. 

“I'm sure you looked great, Bones,” Daniel admits, trying to end this conversation. “But I think it's better for you to stay a scientist… less glitter,” he grins, wiggling his fingers. 

He can practically feel the mood lightening. 

Max groans, “Ugh, Daniel, don't even tell me. Sometimes I think I still find glitter in my apartment!” he exclaims and drinks his beer. The blush on his cheeks is even brighter now. 

They chat a little more, finishing their beers. When they get up and put on their jackets, Daniel reaches for his wallet to pay, but Max has already put a few bills on the counter. 

Daniel chuckles. Max grins at him. They somehow developed this game of who can pay the bill faster. Tonight Max seems to be the winner. 

Sometimes, very rarely, Daniel doesn't try to win because he wants to see Max’s pleased smile. And a few bucks wouldn't make a difference to him anyway – being a forensic anthropologist definitely pays more than being an FBI agent. 

As they say goodnight to each other and Max’s taxi drives off, Daniel pulls out his phone to look through his contacts – he needs to find a woman to go on a date with.

[ratinacoat]

I don't think blind validation should be as normalized as it is in system communities.

This doesn't mean people should go around bullying others, but people should be allowed to have skepticism without being treated as though they're a bad person for asking questions. Questioning things that don't make sense is a good thing but it's treated as if it's on the same level as ableism. A lot of things people call out get the response "it's not hurting you" but that isn't a reason to believe something, it's a reason not to be overtly judgmental or rude about something.

Questioning why someone's alter can't control their incomprehensible typing quirk isn't being ableist, it's a reasonable question cause it doesn't make sense. Calling out that alters can't give birth in system isn't fake claiming, it's pointing out that it's not a literal event and more a metaphorical one you use to describe something. Saying alters aren't different people isn't dictating how a system views themselves personally, it's stating a fact that doesn't rely on personal feelings; alters being different states and not a whole person.

If someone is making an outlandish claim, you're not wrong for not holding firm belief. It's okay to question things, just don't be rude about it. Calling out misinformation, pointing out the difference between subjective views and objective fact, and pointing out when someone is wrong isn't harmful or fake claiming like some people act.

[chaifootsteps]

Ngl, being involved in the critical space for Hellaverse is just... becoming exhausting, it's no longer fun. I appreciate those who will continue with it, and maybe I'll get back to it when more of the shows come out, but... man, it's getting rough for me.

Especially because the criticals are trying to have infighting now? I just wanted to peek into a community with similar opinions of mine, and now people are too damn busy complaining about how folks like fictional shit, from fans to other crits, and... sure, you can not like what others ship or like or whatever, but can people please focus on the actual issues, such as Viv being a terrible person? Or even just HOW the stuff is written terribly and has invited dangerous thinking?

Because even though fiction doesn't always affect reality to a 1:1 ratio, clearly some folks in the Hellaverse community needs to stop watching shit like this if they think someone criticizing a fictional SA character means you can harass that person, a REAL SA survivor, and victim-blame them + claim they aren't a real survivor.

Sorry for the rant, lol.

I enjoy your account, and not just for the Hellaverse stuff, so I'll gladly stick to peeking into your account. And worry about college... (and try not to stress too much about real-world issues, lmao).

I don't blame you one bit, Anon! It's a lot, and the bouts of in-fighting don't help at all. Focus on college (and the fact that every day seems to be a new verse of We Didn't Start the Fire) and enjoy your break from it all!

[certifiedsexed]

Hi! Is there a term for when you're asexual due to past experiences, but SHOULD feel sexual attraction? Or like, a similar concept? (NOT feeling guilty about being ace, but more feeling guilty about being allo, to the point you're not sure if you're allo at all?) Asking for a friend, actually.

Hello!

See, here's the thing, Anon. There probably is a term for that but I feel the need to point out that there is no "should" when it comes to sexual attraction.

Let's say you're asexual due to past trauma. That doesn't mean you should've been allosexual, it just means you used to be allosexual and now you're not.

That can happen even without trauma; sexuality can change over the years and that change can happen even if people aren't traumatized.

Honestly, if you asked me what to call this, I'd say struggling with trauma or something similar. I'm fairly sure there's actually an identity term for this but my brain is a loose sieve on the best of days so I really have no idea what it is.

(Someone else might know though, feel free to add on if you do!)

Not sure how helpful this is, Anon, but let me know if you have any other questions. <3

[starberry-cupcake]

I'm trying the post-it method and it's really messy but, if it helps, I'll keep it up, because I feel like live-reading doesn't help me out with processing this as much as going back on notes does...god, I sound like palmolive...

previously, in nona del 9:

this happened

this is the general tag for all the recaps I've done

CHAPTER 8 (third house skull, which, I guess, but tangentially)

sriracha girlie from school is still on the case and asks nona to up her game in the surveillance task and pretend she's on a radio call

she doesn't elaborate but I doubt it'd help nona understand much anyway if she does

she's just happy to help

nona has to put little boots in the six-legged dog's feet before going out into the scorching heat, though

it's the summer here, so I feel you, noodle

(bonus info: our new puppy apparently has been aptly named because she has 0 fear and is trying to jump into the pool head first like a maniac)

so nona, because she has no preservation skills either, just like our puppy, thinks is a good idea to pretend like she's talking to coronabeer

she still calls her "crown", but it doesn't make me feel any more ok with her pretend calling coronabeer of all people

wasn't she with BOE and whatnot? what if the enemy is listening?

she invites her to her birthday party on the beach

and I might be too cautious but I know better than to share so much information in the wild outdoors where someone could listen

like 'I'm gonna be in this location at this day, please come steal from me or whatever'

maybe it's just my latine self talking, but be careful out there

how do they trust this girl to not be a hazard on her own?

she's like 8 years old

oh, great, I sound like mercygirl now

nona starts drowsing off and a bible chapter comes in, which people have told me is her sleeping

gonna remind everyone I didn't find that out on my own

that's not a victory for me

JOHN 15:23

"Whoever hates me hates my Father as well" is the bible verse in this one

well, then

I haven't read the bible this much since I was in my second school (out of 4)

so here we are again with dr. reverend emperor john buttface's monologue

there's a distraction tactic possibility to get him killed, if we ever need one

he mentions the eye color change as things get weird with their experiments

and says cassiopeia?? potentially? or cyrus? told him he looked like edward cullen "from that old movie twilight"

like I'm not gonna clock dr. reverend emperor john having read twilight with his own two changing eyes

so dr reverend emperor john the menace and his terrible lyctors start doing awful things to the corpses that aren't rotting

allegedly due to dr reverend emperor john "loving them"

whatever that means

and the corpses remain undamaged

what I'd like to point out here is that these people are deranged and god awful even when they hadn't been 25 million years old

this is them brand new from the package and they're all either terrible or complicit in being terrible

I think cassiopeia is the only one visibly suffering but still, man

these people were always like this, this isn't some "we've been out in space so long we've lost touch with our humanity"

happy out of touch thursday, this is you, this has always been you

dr reverend emperor john starts talking about touching the corpses' hands and feeling them even when they aren't there with him

mercygirl is doubting his sanity

yet still they all followed him to hell, so who's crazier here

they picked two corpses, a guy and a gal, to make more specific experiments on, and he named them ulysses and titania

titania after the shakespeare character

ulysses not after the greek hero

and by controlling their hands from across the room I guess they discover necromancy

he's still talking to harrow through all this

CHAPTER 9 (sixth house skull, but at what cost?????)

sriracha girle tells nona that, after her imaginary phone call with coronabeer, the ceaseless watcher left the building

literally

nobody knows what this means but sriracha girlie is still on the case

then they start hearing shots outside and everyone has their safety precautions but they're all bored about it instead of afraid

wish this was just a fiction thing and not the current world

so everyone gets picked up except for sriracha girle, as ush

camilla comes to pick up nona from school and gets pastries (aka facturas, where I'm from)

camilla is doing the lord's work here

she got them by selling out pyrrha's cigarettes, apparently, which I find a great exchange but I don't smoke, so I'm obviously team facturas

then, we get a nona flashback from a month prior, about the Event which prevents them from going swimming anymore

they used to go to the sea at dusk to have some private time with the water

and by them I mean nona went swimming, because the sea is filled with deadly jellyfish, so they'd kill a regular person, but not nona

she can swim with the jellyfish, which sounds beautiful, actually

the whole swimming description is so relaxing and beautiful and I am hating this heat but I'm grateful for the swimming opportunity it provides

swimming is great

swimming with jellyfish without dying must be great

relaxing moment for 3.5 seconds for everyone

of course things can't be relaxing for too long, this is tlt we're talking about

nona sees some people surrounding camilla and guesses it must be the police

which, in every universe, is a Problem

tons of police men surrounding one woman, yeah, doesn't look great

but I was fine because this is camilla fucking hect we're talking about

no cops at pride, just camilla and knives

nona can't hear their conversation but, at one point, she can hear camilla say "speak House"

which ??????????????????????'

doesn't sound good AT ALL

nona sees one of them pointing a gun and warns camilla, which earns nona a shot through the shoulder

so then, when nona resurfaces, she finds everyone lying motionless and camilla squatting on the sand

and I was like "of course my baby did that"

but then nona looks at her and she's got one camilla eye and one palmolive eye

and is talking like camolive is some sort of dragon ball fusion

they ask nona not to freak out

I'm freaking out

camolive's timer starts going like crazy and they ask nona to drive them home

camilla comes back to herself at this point BUT

she's bleeding everywhere

like, blood coming out of her skin

it's everywhere

nona asks her to get palmolive but camilla says they can't

so nona has to drive them home in the middle of the night with the blood and the salty water and the potential police following

nona thankfully can manage and pyrrha says camilla is in thanergy shock

she says they can never do that again and that if palmolive wasn't sharing a body with her, she'd be kicking his ass

AND I WOULD BE TOO

PALMOLIVE, I SAID IT LAST RECAP, MAN

YOU HAD ONE JOB

KEEPING CAMILLA SAFE

WHAT ARE YOU DOING??????

camilla asks them to not tell palmolive she was "weak"

pyrrha drinks in camilla's honor while she's recuperating and nona asks her why she said goodbye to her if she's gonna be fine

to which pyrrha asks how does she know she was saying goodbye

basically, camilla is not dying but she's also not fine

which I got from the very heavy bleeding, thank you very much doctor pyrrha

if something happens to camilla I swear to whatever god that isn't the monologuing prick in the sleeping chapters I'm gonna go feral

PALMOLIVE I'M GOING TO CHASE YOU DOWN

AND THAT'S IT FOR THIS RECAP!!! I think the post its system is better for me?? I'll figure it out as I go. See you on the next one!!!

[yandere-fics]

Reader thinks they cheated

♡ Reader Thinks They're Cheating ♡

♡ Miriel would commit a murder over this, she'd figure out who put this thought in her poor mates head and who her mate thinks she's cheating with a have them killed. She'd literally be livid, like it's not thing for someone to convince her mate to try to escape but to try to make her mate think she has eyes for someone else and probably make her mate cry, it's not enough to just ruin their life, they have to die. Depending on how much you cried over it, she might even hurt them herself before letting the hitmen finish the job. She'd also want to leave the city after this likely so she'd have less of a workload and her mate would always ben near her so you'd never have to feel like she's cheating again. She'll also cry a lot. ♡

♡ It's a really silly thought considering the thought of anyone else makes her dick like shrivel up and want to fall off, like that's how gross it is to picture anyone else like that. Beyond that she fucks you until her cum is literally like clear and she can't produce much more, how would she even have time or energy to fuck someone else if she's draining herself into you on a nightly basis? If it helps you feel better you can try to mark your territory and cover her in stuff so everyone knows she is with you, she'll even let you put a collar on her with a tracker though it doesn't help much since you can't leave the apartment without her, still it might make you feel better. ♡

♡ Selene would want to hit her head into a wall repeatedly, is this her fault? Is this because she failed to be faithful in the past? She'll forgive you for these assumptions though. Honestly this is a really hard conclusion to come to because the only time she's around people after she finds her mate are people who are members of the church or when she has to go for the god meetings once a year which you would be at her side the entire time because she's clingy. If you think maybe she's mentally cheating and picturing someone else as you fuck then this can be solved with her moaning your name way more often in bed, no more pet names, she's saying your full name, now you know she's not picturing anyone else because if she was she'd mix the names up way more. ♡

♡ This belief would likely come from just how patient she is when it comes to not pressuring you into sex, you might think the reason she's able to be so patient is because she's getting it from someone else, the real reason she's able to be so patient though is because she avoid situations she knows would make her fuck the shit out of you and digs her claws into her hands deeply to keep the horny at bay even though it doesn't work very well because of her high pain tolerance. When you confess your fears to her she'll decide being patient is bullshit because it only makes you worried and there's not reason to hold back anymore so months of pent up longing for her mate will come out in the span of a full week of fucking. ♡

♡ Nikki doesn't know what you're talking about when you confront her about this actually. She doesn't even know what cheating means so at first she thinks maybe you were playing something together on a date night and you think she cheated at the game which couldn't be possible because she let's her mate win at board games, her coworkers said it was the polite thing to do but when you talk her through the concept by the end you probably aren't even worried anymore because how could she be doing that when she was literally just so confused at what you meant by her being with someone who isn't her mate. You'll probably back off cause it feels silly to continue to yell at someone so confused and later at work she'll ask her coworker what it was her mate meant and they'll walk her through the concept and she'll tell you bluntly when she gets home, "angels can't cheat." and at like she fixed everything. ♡

♡ You might think this for the first few weeks after she gets you home cause she might not have revealed she's a serial killer yet and so when she leaves for long you might think she has another partner secretly. As soon as you tell her about this, she'll bring the next victim home at which point you might think she's admitting to cheating now and cry and then she'll slash them violently for making her mate cry and you'll start to realize, she only loves you, she's just a murderer which may or may not make you feel better depending on your personality. Rest assured she'd slit her own neck before she would kiss someone not her mate. ♡

♡ You likely think it cause Nora has to leave for work at night and when you confront her she'll make up some night job she has and literally call in favors from the boss to fake an entire job she supposedly has so you won't have to feel worried anymore, will also start dosing your nightly snack so you sleep through the night and don't question her coming and going at different nightly hours anymore. Don't worry though she could never cheat because you're her reason for living and everyone else is just someone she could kill without a moments hesitation just for you. ♡

♡ The only scenario I could imagine reader thinking Sawyer is seeing someone else is in a sugar baby situation, you haven't moved in yet, she's just been taking you on fun dates, perhaps you think she's married secretly and you're the other woman or she has multiple sugar babies and is seeing which one she likes the most before settling on which one gets girlfriend status. You'd likely confront her when you're going to move in finally and you ask her if she's broken things off with the other women which actually makes her laugh harder than she thought was possible to laugh and just says that was a very good joke. If you keep pushing and say you weren't joking she'll assure you that you were the only woman all along. ♡

[fallenhunnyapple]

Hello Hi time to talk about the Cyberpunk Dreams AU that haunts my waking moments.

I've posted drawing and comics and stuff but it doesn't really explain the World and the AU, as they just focus on the Relationship. So it's time to give a run down of the Universe and Lucifer and Adam's roles in it more Completely. Gonna try and avoid any explicit game spoilers, minimize that as much as I can. I play as Lucifer and @fallennumbskull plays as Adam and we have some of the things they experience influence the story we built, though ultimately the AU mostly focuses on them existing in the setting than following the game experience 1:1.

The world of Cyberpunk Dreams is one that takes place after civil wars and natural disasters have ravaged the US and have left it as a complete ruined dystopia. The main setting is in the city of Cincinnati, now just referred to as Cinci.

Lucifer and Adam both work for some mystery organization that have assigned them missions to fulfill in the City. They don't start off knowing each other and Lucifer gets there first and has a longer time to establish himself, hence why he's already a crime lord while Adam is still Hired Help by the time they start working together.

Their missions are as follows.

Lucifer:

Adam:

A couple of things to note: Lucifer and Adam both have Amnesia. This was done purposefully by those they are fulfilling the missions for. They don't remember anything explicit about their lives before, if they had friends, family, relationships, etc. It's all gone. They know Just Enough to get started and those lost memories are supposed to slowly trickle back in as they become relevant. There is no guarantee that they will ever fully remember their past lives. For one reason or another, they have both agreed to this.

The other thing: They are both Mutants. Mutants in this setting are designer, created on purpose. Uncovering the truth there is Adam's main mission. But regardless, they both have altered DNA that give them certain abilities and certain detriments, each of them having multiple mutations, but One that stands above the rest. Predominantly, Lucifer's main mutation is Vampirism. He requires blood or plasma to drink often, the lack of which prevents him from eating solid foods and if ignored too long can cause reckless bloodlust. But he is also faster, stronger, smarter, more charismatic etc etc, all those stereotypes about Vampires. He _is_ weak to the Sun and if he's out during the day he can burn. And he doesn't have any sort hypnosis or glamour he can use on other people. But he's Charming, so that still works in his favor. And on Adam's side of things, he has wolf DNA. This makes him strong, gives him heightened senses and allows him to talk to Dogs (very useful when they get their own puppy later, her name is Zwei). He is extremely loyal but also reckless and he tends to think of himself as an Alpha, better than anyone else. Well, almost anyone. There's only one person he will accept as being Above him. And on top of all that Adam is something called a 'transhumanist' meaning he's someone who believes that those with mutations and altered bodies are superior to regular humans. He considers himself to be the next step of evolution and has a superiority complex about it.

Back to the setting! Cinci is a mess of a city. You need to Command respect here otherwise you could end up with your brain splattered across an alley wall or your body sold for sex or organs. It's a dark and fucked up town and while there are pockets of more civil and safe zones, the majority of the city and where you spend your time is the Slums. Sure, there are people who just do their best to survive, but Luci and Adam aren't there for that. No, the people who Command respect, who make money and make a name for themselves, the people they need to be in order to progress in their missions are those known as Players. The ones with the money, the ones who work with drugs, prostitution, weapon sales, organ trafficking, the ones who can hire others to do their dirty work for them, the ones who can get access to any and all information they may need.

Lucifer has been there longer, is an established Player and has a large enough crew and amassed enough money to be Comfortable as he works on fulfilling his mission. He hires Adam, who hasn't been there as long and is still working his way up, to be his bodyguard. Lucifer doesn't prevent Adam from continuing to accumulate his own power while he works for him, so it's not an issue. But then they get involved and Lucifer opens up his own network and resources to Adam. They're partners in multiple senses and Lucifer not only promotes Adam to his lover, but he gives him jurisdiction of certain aspects of his business.

Some more about the setting: Mutants are despised. There are mutants out there in Cinci but they have to keep that part of themselves secret (not easy when some mutations are Visible). There is a policing organization called Tower whose policy is Shoot on Sight when it comes to mutants. And they are Indiscriminate about it. If you are a mutant, if Tower becomes suspicious of you, all you can do is try and stay in hiding, not go out during the day, until they lose interest. Otherwise there's no guarantee you'll make it to the next day. And the general population doesn't care for mutants and if they find out, they could either report you or simply refer to you as 'it', mutants being seen as Lesser than humans.

As both Lucifer and Adam are mutants, that makes their lives more dangerous. There have been times where someone from their crew would get Killed to send a message and draw them out for being Mutants. Of course, that person meets the ending they deserve, but it's still worrisome when people find out. Luckily, Lucifer is part of a Vampire Coven/Cult called Black Moon who has members, both vampire and non-mutants, who have infiltrated basically every aspect of society, even Tower itself. And as long as Lucifer does as he's asked and keeps himself from endangering the cult from being discovered, they will keep him safe. And as a rising member of their ranks, he has extra privileges and protections. And when eventually Lucifer brings Adam in as his thrall, Adam is also offered certain protections.

Additionally, there is a special secret sex club called Cluster that is Exclusive for Mutants. Their entrance is hidden and only those who are specifically invited gain access. It's a safe haven for mutants because while it is a sex club, it can also just be a place to relax and feel safe, knowing that there is no fear of being exposed and killed for simply existing as you've been made. Lucifer and Adam do go there frequently, sometimes together and sometimes not. Though they are exclusive in their relationship, there are other reasons to be at Cluster than just sex. Adam seems to disappear sometimes while they're there, but he never tells Lucifer where he went or what happened while he was gone. Lucifer is concerned but has accepted that he's not going to get any answers, no matter how much he may ask.

Just some fun extra notes:

Players go by Street Names and telling someone your real name is a Huge show of trust and is in itself a form of intimacy. Lucifer goes by Serpent and Adam goes by Exorcist. They call each other by their Street Names usually, but when they're alone they revert to their more intimate names.

Adam is a hypersexual adrenaline junkie who gets turned on by violence and Lucifer indulges him by letting him run wild, especially when there are people who need to be killed for one reason or another, and then takes care of him in private after. He also has metalphilia and craves the feeling of metal inside him, whether that be via piercings, implants or metal sex toys. Lucifer has also decided to indulge this part of him by getting dick piercings. It's a lot of work to keep his guard dog satisfied, but Lucifer is willing to do it.

Lucifer wasn't allowed to drink from someone outside of the cult so he never got to drink Adam's blood until he agreed to become his thrall and went through the joining ritual. And then he discovered that actually he really likes how Adam's blood tastes when his veins are coursing with adrenaline. He typically drinks directly from him when they're having sex after Adam fought and/or killed some people. Adam likes it too because he gets reminded how vulnerable a position he's in and how Lucifer could so easily kill him if he chose to.

Lucifer has recurring nightmares and has a tough time sleeping, but Adam can help him relax and sleep more peacefully. He's kind of a wreck if Adam has to leave him for a few days for whatever reason.

Adam is in charge of prostitution but essentially they just take over another pimp's turf (usually killing them in the process) and Adam gives the sex workers a choice. They can continue doing sex work but Adam actually takes care of them and doesn't enforce monetary quotas and while sex works still isnt the best, he's the best pimp they could have since he protects them from shitty johns and doesn't force them to do anything they don't want to do. Alternatively, they can choose to leave sex work behind and start working for Adam as part of his crew and doing odd jobs and such and getting paid enough to manage their own lives.

Lucifer works with a back alley clinic providing trafficked organs. Certain times if he has to kill people personally, Lucifer will siphon out their blood for later and get the corpse picked up by the clinic, no questions asked. They're on good terms and he relies on them if anything happens to himself or Adam and they need medical attention

Lucifer doesn't remember that he has a daughter. And he doesn't remember that his daughter is the one he's meant to rescue. That the reason he was willing to give up all of his memories was to be able to see his daughter again. But even though he doesn't remember, he does know that any of the sick shit that happens in Cinci that involves kids makes him ill and anxious, and Sometimes he will choose empathy because he gets the feeling that there is someone who would want him to.

Lucifer and Adam are in a Dom/Sub relationship. Lucifer awakened Adam's inner sub by domming him once and Adam's never been the same since. Adam would never let any other person top or dom him, Just Lucifer.

I think that covers most of it! I am, of course, open to any and all questions!

( @libby-for-life enjoy this long ass break down)