#does the ^^; emote before shooting you in the head several times

[cloudofsoup]

peppino’s walking animation w/ a pistol is literally my favorite in the whole game. why does he look like that. what a pathetic and whimsical man

[strangersteddierthings]

Eddie blinks. Once. Twice. And a third time for good measure. The scene before him doesn't change. Steve Harrington stands off to the side of the lunch table, behind Jeff and Frankie who have both gone still as statues like they think if they don't move, King Steve won't see them.

"Uh, what?" Eddie finds himself saying, against his own will. He heard Harrington the first time, doesn't need or want him to repeat himself, but his disbelief seems to have won out against his grudge for all jocks and his indifference to Steve Harrington in particular.

Harrington's face pinches, like he's three seconds away from rolling his eyes. He doesn't do that, though, which Eddie will give him one brownie point for. "I asked if you had a minute to talk." Eddie's taking away his brownie point because Steve 'asks' in a way that sounds more like a demand.

Hearing the question and or demand a second time doesn't lower Eddie's hackles, but it does pique his curiosity. He drums his fingers atop his lunchbox, thinking it over. He wishes he could say he's pretending to think about it before he tells Harrington to fuck off, but the truth is he actually is thinking about it.

What could Harrington possibly have to say to him? They very much do not run in the same circles. Eddie only talks business at the picnic table past the edge of the woods out back and everyone who buys from him knows that. They share several classes, since they're both seniors, but everyone knows Eddie's on a track to not graduate (again) so he can't possibly be coming to discuss Mrs. Click's homework assignment.

"Sure. Should we go elsewhere or...?" Eddie trails off, lifting a hand to wave in a circle in Steve's direction, questioning.

Steve looks over his shoulder, back towards the side of the cafeteria taken up by the 'popular' crowd. When Steve turns his face back, he looks- well, kind of sad for a moment before it's smoothed over with indifference.

Interesting.

"No. It's probably good that the rest of your friends hear it anyway," Steve answers.

Jeff's eyebrows rise to his hairline, and Frankie frowns as his eyebrows raise at the same time, showing an expression of interest. Eddie's got no idea what Gareth's face is doing because Eddie can't see him unless he wants to turn his face away, but he's certain it's probably a glare of some sort.

Eddie leans back in his chair, wiggling like he's getting extra comfortable before he says, "Well, alright Harrington. Shoot."

"I'm graduating this year, so I just wanted to give you a heads up for next year. I tried to curb the bullying, but I know it still happened. So, since I'm not going to be here to watch out for that, you're gonna wanna up your," Steve gestures to all of Eddie, "everything."

He knew Steve curbed the bullying a bit, heard the confirmation of that last year from Jason Carver and Tommy Hagan, when he'd stepped in to save Gareth. Or rather, Gareth had come flying in to save him and then Eddie had to save Gareth- well, the details don't matter really.

"My everything?" Eddie asks, more confused than angry. He thinks he should be angry. Harrington has all but outright said he doesn't think Eddie's going to graduate with him, after all. But no. The main emotion now is confusion.

"Yeah. Your, y'know, freakinesss or whatever. Be more of it."

"Be more of a freak?" It's fascinating, that Harrington just keeps talking like he thinks anyone at this table care for his opinion.

"Yeah!" Harrington says, cheery like he thinks that Eddie's agreed with him somehow, complete with a stupid snap of his fingers that turns into a finger gun pointed at Eddie. "You've already got this like unapproachable mad dog kind of look about you, most of the JV team is already scared of you. Just like, up that a bit more and they'll probably steer clear of you and your friends." Then Harrington frowns deep, looking around the table of nerds and dorks before looking down at the top of Gareth's head to add, "well. Except probably curly here. No offense, but you seem an easy target."

"Fuck off," Gareth growls, because of everyone at the table, Gareth does have the most bite. (Most bark goes to Eddie himself). Eddie's more prone to run from a problem than engage in it, unlike Gareth, who he's had to pull off of a few people this year.

"Or not," Harrington retracts his previous statement and Eddie will grant the man another brownie point, which brings the total up to one.

"Good to know my reputation precedes me," Eddie grins, wild and a bit manic.

Harrington is unphased. "Yeah! Do that more. I think it really freaks Jason out and he's most likely to take the captain slot next year, so if you get him afraid of you, the rest of the team'll fall in line and leave you alone too. I think he's super religious, so like, lean into the satanic panic thing people are up in arms about and next year will be a breeze. And-"

Eddie lifts a hand, a motion for Harrington to stop talking. It surprised him a little that Harrington does. Even more interesting. "Stop me if I'm wrong here, Harrington, but are you suggesting that I become the bully?"

Harrington's mouth opens and closes a few times before his face pinches again. Instead of looking like he's going to roll his eyes and be bitchy, Harrington looks confused and then like he's deep in thought. An uncomfortable amount of awkward silence falls over there table, but it's just when Eddie's about to break that silence that Harrington finally speaks. "No. I'm saying just like, be you but bigger. Like, you don't even gotta look in the team's direction. If you're just more of a freak than you usually are, they'll steer clear without the bullying."

"You sure know how to compliment a guy," Eddie deadpans. He's not even upset that Steve's called him a freak. He's spent the majority of his high school career cultivating that outlook. He wasn't just a freak, he was The Freak.

Now a look crosses Harrington's face. One Eddie's not sure he's interpreting correctly. If he had to take a guess, he'd say the look was calculating, knowing, in a way that Eddie doesn't think Harrington could actually achieve. Then it's gone, replaced with the bitchy, eye-rolling look Eddie's used to seeing, and Harrington says, "I haven't said anything untrue."

Hmm. The most interesting thing yet. Eddie might not be graduating (again) but he's not dumb. He didn't survive this far in his life, with a father like his, without learning to read people. He wasn't as good as he wanted to be at reading people last year, but he's definitely good enough know to think that, maybe, just maybe, Harrington also knows a thing or two about cultivating a public perception. Making sure people only see a certain side of you.

"Alright," is what Eddie answers, "I'll take what you've said under advisement."

"Uh. Okay," Harrington says before he just walks away. Conversation over.

"Well," Jeff says, "that was strange."

"Very," Eddie agrees as he watches Harrington walk away, tracking him until the cafeteria door slams shut behind him when he exits.

Eddie has always wanted to up the ante, so to speak. Jump on a cafeteria table and rant about capitalism and organized sports. He never has before but next year seems like a great time to try.

[mangostarjam]

a new night — haikyuu, street racer!au, ushijima wakatoshi x f!reader, part of ignition!verse, reader wears a dress, smut, piv sex, mentions of fingering, just the tip, uhh mentions of street racer!sakusa and his girlfriend who has tattoos, 1.3k words

written for @cheesypuffkins87 happy birthdaaaaay beloved!!!

Ushijima Wakatoshi spots you almost instantly. It would normally be difficult, given the pulsing, frenetic crowd, but he's drawn to you, as always.

You are greeting friends left and right as you wander towards him. The cold concrete parking garage is alive with sound and lights, with the roar of engines and the cheering crowds. It's a familiar scene, but something feels different tonight.

Ushijima watches your bright grin and sparkly eyes with a quiet sense of contentment settling somewhere in his chest.

That's… new.

Normally you pull him off kilter. You're so friendly — Ushijima spent the first few years of your acquaintance firmly convinced that you hung around him out of obligation from being friends with Tendou. Only to discover — your laughter is different when you're with him. Ushijima makes you… laugh. And you're never laughing at him, but always from something he's said.

He likes making you laugh.

"That's your girl?" Kiyoomi asks, nodding towards your form disappearing behind someone giving you a hug. "She made it."

"She always does," Ushijima says. It's not bragging — it's just a statement of fact. You have always been one of his staunchest supporters.

Your entire being lights up when you make eye contact with him, but before he can raise a hand in greeting you're ducking away. Even from here, he can see the grip you have on your friend's arm. The lines of her tattoo warp as you leave dents in her bicep.

"What's wrong with her?" Kiyoomi asks. It comes out a little muffled due to his mask, but Ushijima understands the concern. You're gripping Kiyoomi's girlfriend like she'll save you from… something. But what could you be worried about?

Kiyoomi's girlfriend twists to look at them and then visibly rolls her eyes and hisses something at you.

Ushijima watches carefully as your expression cycles through several stages of conflicting emotions that confuse him. He's seen you shy before, but this seems… intensified.

You have no reason to be shy. Ushijima has been dating you for a long time now. He has seen you cooking an entire feast at two in the morning to satisfy a craving, he has seen you fall asleep face first at your work-from-home desk, he has seen you gasping in pleasure and pure bliss beneath him.

The memory makes him clear his throat as heat sears through his gut. Maybe he is feeling indigestion from eating one of the onigiri the Miyas brought along.

Kiyoomi's girlfriend is tugging on your coat. It takes a moment, but finally you shrug it off, and Kiyoomi's girlfriend drapes it over her arm with a victorious grin.

Ushijima coughs.

Kiyoomi shoots him a faintly disgruntled look discernible even with the mask covering half his face. Ushijima nods his head slightly in apology, but Kiyoomi moves away anyway —

No, not away — he's moving to his girlfriend, and you… you are standing there, beaming at Ushijima like you've gotten over your shyness, wearing a dress that… doesn't look out of place here, where skin flashes everywhere, except — he's never seen this dress before.

Ushijima sucks in a breath. He feels lightheaded, suddenly. How strange. He's sure he's been breathing normally.

"Hi," you say. Your sparkling grin dims slightly as you look him over, a tiny furrow in your brow forming as you step close and rest a hand on his arm. The proximity forces your chest to press against him, and the soft squish makes him grit his teeth as desire suddenly floods his entire system like the rush before a race.

You're glowing in the lights. Ushijima brushes his thumb between your eyebrows, smoothing away the furrow, mimicking the gentle gesture you always bestow upon him.

"You look beautiful," he says simply. Your cheek heats beneath his palm. "Is this new?"

"I wanted to surprise you!" Your hand is so much smaller than his, but you hold his palm to your face and smile up at him anyway. He lets you, of course — he's always a touch careful with you, always so hyperaware of his height and his strength and the possibility of hurting you on accident.

That's why he always tries to give you control when it comes to physical intimacy.

But now — sequestered away in his car in some random empty lot — with your perfect tits in his face, barely concealed by the plunging neckline of your new dress — with your slick steadily covering the head of his leaking cock as you hover over him — it's taking everything in his rapidly fraying control to let you lead.

"You won so many races today," you breathe, sinking down just enough for the head of his cock to breach your soaked walls. "Was that all for me?"

Ushijima keeps his hands firmly on your hips, trying to hold you steady. What did you just ask him? "Ngh — yes, yes."

You bat your lashes at him as you lift yourself, and Ushijima hisses between his teeth when you sink a bit further down. He doesn't normally say much during sex, but he tonight he can't help groaning as you carefully fuck yourself down on his cock.

The low sounds slipping from his lips seems to spur you on, because even though he's already prepped you with an orgasm from his fingers, you're sliding further and further down his cock at a pace that would worry him if he weren't desperately trying not to ram you full of his dick. Sparkles flicker in the edges of his vision as you whine, white hot pleasure snaking down his limbs.

"You're incredible," he murmurs, grabbing at his self control. What is it about you that always manages to drive him wild? Physically he does not deny that you're attractive, but that's not what lingers on his mind most often.

It's your — light, and cheer, and the curiosity you carry in your heart. The way you are so open to new people and experiences and the way you embrace the world so wholeheartedly. It's the way you care for your friends, the way you feed them and nourish their souls with good conversation and genuine affection.

All of these things flicker through his mind like snapshots from a film just as you gasp and sink fully into his lap.

Fuck —

Ushijima cums with a groan and a rock of his hips, hands gripping your sides with bruising force. You reach up to brush at the furrow between his brows and he snaps —

The car shakes with the force of his thrusts and he spares a fleeting thought for how obvious this looks on the outside, but one look at your face has him tossing aside caution to fuck you properly.

Ushijima brings a hand up to keep your head from hitting the roof of his car. He can feel you gushing around him, your sweetness mixing with the load he already released inside you, and something about it is so filthy he knows he's going to cum again.

Something is different tonight. After his races he meant to take you to a restaurant you've mentioned wanting to try — and now he's fucking you desperately in his car like a horny teenager. Thankfully you seem into it — he groans as you cum around his cock, his body so attuned to yours that he grunts as he empties inside you again, your perfect pussy warm and unbearably wet and hot.

"Wakatoshi —"

Don't. He's going to keep you here if you say his name again in that sweet, fucked out voice.

"We have a dinner reservation."

You giggle, hands cupping his face to place a careful kiss on his lips. Ushijima deepens it immediately, needing to feel you fully against him as his body courses with the rush of being with you so completely.

"You made us a dinner reservation? What for?"

Ushijima hesitates for a moment until he spots the glimmer in your eyes. Are you teasing him? You must be. There's no way he would have forgotten.

"Happy birthday, my beloved."

[girlrotterr]

— "𝑈𝐿𝑇𝑅𝛢𝑉𝐼𐒆𝐿𝛦𝛮𝐶𝛦."

𝑃𝛢𝐼𝑅𝐼𝛮𝐺: farm!ellie x fem!reader

⚠︎ 𝑇𝑊!: references to alcohol abuse . substance abuse . instances of emotional and verbal abuse.

𝘚𝑌𝛮𐒆𝑃𝘚𝐼𝘚: Years after returning from Seattle, you and Ellie chose to adopt a baby, hoping to rebuild your lives after the traumatic events. However, several months later, Ellie began struggling emotionally, haunted by her past, expressing her pain through cold and distant behavior.

⇢ 𝑃𝛢𝑅𝑇 𝑇𝑊𐒆 . ⇢ 𝑃𝛢𝑅𝑇 𝑇𝛨𝑅𝛦𝛦

The silence of the house was abruptly broken by a cry that echoed through every corner. It was a sound you recognized instantly, a heart-wrenching feeling that never failed to make your chest tighten. Those cries belonged to your child. 

As you stood at the sink, sleeves rolled up, scrubbing away residues of dinner from the white porcelain plates – the very ones Ellie had lovingly chosen for you – memories flooded your mind. Each sponge stroke brought back moments shared with Ellie, her attention to detail in every aspect of your life together.

The kitchen, once a place of laughter and shared meals, now felt empty. The soft glow of the overhead light cast shadows across the room, emphasizing the solitude that enveloped you. How you longed for Ellie's presence, her warmth filling the space with love and comfort.

Yet, she wasn't physically absent.

She simply wasn't present.

"Go check on him," ellie muttered rudely, not even looking in your direction.

"Already on it," you replied, setting the plate down and drying your hands on a nearby cloth. 

Making your way upstairs, the cries of your child grew louder as you approached his door. Your heart ached as you recognized them all too well. Taking a deep breath, you knocked and opened the door.

Before you could utter a word, he began pouring out his troubles. He knew it was you even before the door opened, aware that you were the only one who came to check on him. His other mom…hadn't done so in a long time.

He was sobbing into his teddy bear, his red and puffy eyes avoiding your gaze.

"Why is my mommy like that?" he asked, tears staining his teddy bear. "Why is she not playing with me? Does she not love me anymore?"

Closing the door gently behind you, you settled on his bed. His voice choked with emotion, he questioned why his mother seemed distant.

"Oh honey, she loves you.” you tried soothing by rubbing his back, “she’s just… been busy, but soon enough, she'll play with you again, okay? I'll talk to her.." you assured, pulling him into your arms.

"Promise?" This time he raised his head to look at you with those wet eyes. You'd been playing the mother role for the past half a year now. How many times had you made that promise to him? 

"Pinky promise," you affirmed, feeling the weight of your words as you made yet another pledge to ease his worries.

"Thank you mama.."  He smiled weakly, clinging to you with a sense of reassurance. 

A voice in the background called your name – Ellie.

Abruptly, the heavy thuds of footsteps echoed up the stairs, her sharp voice vibrating through the silence of the hallway. 

"What are you doing?!" she snapped, her tone laced with irritation as she barged into the room, a cigarette dangling from her fingers.

"What the fuck are you staring at?" Ellie snarked,  her words cutting through the air. Her cold glare pierced through you. "Kid, go somewhere else."

As Ellie's coldness unfolded, you began to bite the inside of your cheek, a surge of anger towards her lack of empathy. The lack of interest she showed towards everyone's feelings aggravated you, you were growing exhausted. 

"Stop it.” you intervened, hoping to convey to Ellie the need for a gentler approach toward the child. As expected, Ellie brushed off your attempt, a complete disregard for how her words affected the child.

"I said fucking go!" Ellie yelled.

Your child, tears swelling, quickly left the room, the echoes of his sniffles fading behind him. Dammit, Ellie...

You shoot her a glare filled with frustration, immediately getting up to exit the room. However, Ellie quickly grabbed your arm, her grip tight and nails digging into your flesh, causing you to wince and forcefully move toward her.

"Where the fuck are you going?" she snarled.

"Argh- Ellie, I'm not.. dealing with you right now-" you remarked..

Ellie tugged your arm harshly, her stare growing more aggravated. The scent of cigarettes lingering, the scent so familiar that you had become numb to it. This was the only time Ellie would even attempt to touch you, always using it to assert her control. In all other instances, you existed as nothing, always unnoticed.

“You don’t get to decide that.” She released your arm, shutting the door firmly and positioning herself in front of it to ensure you couldn't leave. Taking another drag from her cigarette, she exhaled the smoke.

Maintaining your glare, you scoffed and went to open the window, refusing to let the smell of cigarettes fill your child's room. 

"What the fuckk are you doing?" Ellie asked, displaying no intention of stopping you, her annoyance being clear. She didn't bother pretending. 

“What does it fucking look like?” you snapped, not bothering to turn and face her. You hated it when she tried irritating you. 

Instead, your focus drifted toward the view outside the window. The sun was setting, painting the sky with hues of warm gold and soft pink, casting a gentle glow. The fields surrounding the farmhouse with lively flowers, their petals swaying in the evening breeze.

The farmhouse itself stood as a sturdy, its walls covered with trailing vines of ivy. In the distance, you could hear the faint sound of cows softly in the fields. 

Ellie remained silent, simply taking another prolonged drag of her cigarette. She didn't spare the time to respond to your snarky remarks.

“..he wanted to play with you today,” you mentioned, leaning your head against the window, fidgeting with the sleeves of your shirt. “He thinks you don’t love him.”

It had become routine for Ellie to try and get any information about what your kid shared. His troubles and worries seemed to be a curiosity for her. You never questioned it, always holding onto the hope that, in some part of her, she still truly cared.

"So?" she replied nonchalantly, walking over to you and flicking her cigarette out the window. "What's one of his little feelings to me? He's too attached anyway. It'd be good for him if I ignored him for a while." 

Ellie's gaze drifted toward the window, her eyes captivated by the familiar view. The  golden glow over the farmstead, a sight she had always cherished. It was one of the main reasons she had chosen this farmhouse for her family to live in. 

You gazed at Ellie, taking in her features. Her heavy bags from the countless sleepless nights on the couch, her once-soft pink lips now only meeting the cold bottles of alcohol she consumed in the dead of night.

“He’s not the only one who feels that way..” You remarked, still staring at her, hoping that her emerald eyes would meet yours.

Ellie's heart sank, a flicker of emotion appearing on her face.

"Shut up," she muttered coldly. She didn't bother turning to look at you; your words had clearly affected her. 

"I don't want to hear you talk. I'll do whatever I want. If I don't feel like playing with him, then I fucking won't."

She stormed off, and the moment of silence shattered. Her heavy footsteps descended the stairs. 

Without a moment's hesitation, you rushed out of your son's room, your only focus being to find him. You swiftly walked down the hallway, your pace quickening. Leaving him alone, particularly when upset, was something you hated. As you walked down the hallway…

There he was. 

In the bathroom, seated on the black and white tiled floor, clutching his teddy bear, with his face buried into his knees and headphones covering his ears.

He didn't want to witness his mothers arguing. He understood that whenever Ellie interrupted your time together, it signaled something bad. 

You observed him from the doorway painfully knowing that he didn't deserve this, enduring the harsh environment that the house had become. It pained your heart to see that he had developed coping mechanisms for these moments.

He glanced up at you, his eyes red from crying.

You gave him a soft smile, walking over and lifting him into your arms, gently wiping away the tears from his face. “I’m sorry honey, mommy needed to tell me something-”

“I know,” he said softly, nuzzling his face into your neck. He already knew all your apologies.

You kissed the top of his head, tenderly stroking his hair and swaying side to side. Your mind raced, searching for ways to lift his spirits and make up for Ellie's behavior.

“Hey, why don’t we-”

"Mama... I’m tired," he interrupted, his gaze staring off as if he was drifting from this moment. It wasn’t just physical fatigue; he was tired of it all, exhausted from feeling this way.

You nodded gently. “Okay, let’s head to bed then…”

You walked over to the sink, sitting him on the nearby stool where you usually did to brush his little teeth. The tap gushed water as you applied toothpaste to his green toothbrush covered in tiny dinosaurs, a choice Ellie had insisted upon a while back. You remember her begs of "pleaseee!!" throughout the shopping trip.

With the toothbrush in hand, you gently brushed his teeth, being careful not to hurt his sensitive gums.

“Okay, now you can spit.”

Ptui!

“All clean, mama!” he exclaimed excitedly, clapping his hands together and flashing you his newly cleaned smile.

You leaned down, planting a kiss on the top of his head. “Good job, honey!”

He carefully climbed down from the stool, making his way towards your bedroom. Sleeping with you always made him feel safe, and he eagerly headed for the bed, emitting little grunts of tiredness along the way.

Finally settling onto the bed, he lay down next to his teddy bear, giving it a small pat.

“Mama will join you after she’s done cleaning, okay?” you assured him, tucking him into his space-themed blanket. The blanket, a dark blue adorned with various planets and stars, was one of his favorites.

It was a gift from from grandpa Joel, who had been thrilled to learn about your and Ellie's news of starting a family. He couldn't contain his excitement, bombarding Ellie with endless parenting tips and even purchasing books on child development in preparation.

Joel never got to meet him. 

“Okay...” he said softly, turning away as you walked towards the door. You stared at his back, an ache overwhelming your thoughts, and all you could think about was saying, "I’m sorry." Though you knew you weren’t responsible for Ellie's behavior, you felt like you owed it to him.

You and Ellie were eagerly excited on the journey to adopt a child together, ready to try again. Jackson had many kids in need of a loving home. When you adopted your kid, you promised him a life filled with love and joy, but that promise crumbled far too quickly. 

You stepped out of the room and closed the door behind you.

Heading downstairs, you found Ellie sitting on the couch, smoking a joint and watching Breaking Bad, an episode she had already seen twice.

Resuming your routine, you began cleaning up the kitchen. Drying dishes, sweeping the floor, and wiping the countertops. All tasks you were now accustomed to doing alone.

 Ellie gradually stopped helping, a gradual drift. The same snarky excuses: “I’m too fucking tired” or “I have some work to finish up.” Eventually, she left you alone in the silent kitchen, where everything felt still.

“Goodnight,” you said, looking towards Ellie as you headed towards the stairs.

Silence.

Ellie remained motionless on the couch, smoking her joint and staring blankly at the TV. Her eyes were fixed on the screen, trying to detach herself from the world.

You took a deep breath, attempting to control your emotions and suppress the ache that surfaced every time she responded with silence. Placing your foot on the first step, you began to ascend the stairs.

"C'mere,” Ellie said, actually looking at you for once.

Your heart raced at her sudden attention, her piercing gaze catching you off guard. You walked over to her, standing in front of her. Up close, you couldn't ignore the mess she appeared to be. Her eyes were puffy and red, a foolish smirk plastered across her face.

“c’meree..” she said, motioning you to come closer. 

Ellie brought the joint to her lips, taking a long drag before blowing the smoke right into your face, giggling at how it was causing you to cough. 

She started laughing, “you look stupid.”

Irritated, you smacked the joint out of her hand. Causing ellie to jolt at the sudden movement. 

“Be fucking stupid and pick it up,” you snarled, glaring at her, your eyes piercing through her.

Ellie simply looked at you, no words, no movement, her gaze fixated on you. You couldn’t decipher the emotion behind her gaze there were thoughts behind those eyes, but you couldn’t recognize them.

Scoffing, you turned away, no longer wanting to be near her. Heading upstairs, you headed straight for the bathroom. Closing the door behind you, you looked at yourself in the mirror. Tears welled up, but you refused to let them fall. I need to be strong..she can’t..can’t win…

You couldn't help but feel stupid. Stupid for thinking she would offer you even a shred of affection. Her undivided attention, a drop of care.

Turning on the faucet, you splashed water on your face, feeling its cool touch soothe your heated skin. It was as if the water washed away the tension, calming your mind. Each droplet felt like a weight lifted off your shoulders, easing the ache you carried.

Taking a deep sigh, you began your nightly routine, another task you were accustomed to doing alone.

Slowly opening the door to your bedroom, you found your child fast asleep, clutching his teddy bear tightly in his arms and cocooned in his blanket. His gentle breaths filled the room with a sense of tranquility, a small smile gracing his lips as he slept peacefully.

In that moment, he appeared like a peaceful, angelic child, as if he were innocent and free from life's worries.

Closing the door behind you, you approached the bed, gently laying beside him, fingers caressing his soft hair, humming a melody –a melody Ellie used to sing to you back then. Never missing a chance to soothe you with her singing whenever you couldn’t sleep. 

He appeared so innocent, carrying that light within him. The idea of him being exposed to Ellie's behavior filled you with guilt. He was the reason you tolerated Ellie, not demanding for more.

You had an urge to fight for his safety and his right to happiness. All he deserved was love and affection, and ellie failed to provide it.

Pressing a kiss to his forehead, you closed your eyes, letting sleep envelop you as you tried to quiet the endless thoughts swirling in your mind.

Thud.

Sometime later in the night, you heard Ellie stumbling her way up the stairs. Her movements were unsteady, the effects of alcohol. It seemed like she hadn't slept at all. The only evidence of her rest was the blanket and pillow on the couch.

You heard the sound of ellie turning the doorknob and entering the room, not bothering to turn on the lights. The room filled with the sound of Ellie rummaging through drawers and opening closets. You had no idea what she was looking for, but she appeared determined to find it.

You tried to catch a glimpse of Ellie in the darkened room. Your eyes adjusted, and you could make out the outline of her figure as she searched. She stood there in a tank top and boxers, her arms revealing prominent veins, and her hair ruffled messily around her face.

“El’s?..” 

Startled, she jumped and stopped her search, clearly taken aback by the sudden sound of your voice. She turned around with a scowl, not bothering to whisper back.

“What?” she snapped, clearly annoyed.

"What're you… doing?" you asked sleepily, being awoken by her rummaging. 

"Nothing," Ellie replied with a heavy sigh "Go back to sleep."

You looked into her eyes, your eyes glistening in the gentle moonlight. 

Ellie was startled for a moment at the sight of the eyes that met her. But snapped herself back into reality.

"Don't… give me that look," she muttered before turning around and going back to rummaging through the drawers.

You gently extended your hand towards Ellie, wanting her to sleep with you. Your fingers moved slowly, reaching out for hers. 

She paused, her shoulders rising and falling as she took a sharp inhale of air. She sighed and then looked at you. She didn't pull away from your touch, her demeanor appearing softer as if she was trying to resist you.

"No," 

You stayed silent at her response, silently hoping for her to change her answer.

"I said No. Go… back to sleep." She tried to say firmly but her tone was softer now.

You turned away from Ellie, silently acknowledging her rejection. Each time your attempts were turned down, the familiar ache grew duller, as if numbed. You wrapped your arm around your child, closing your eyes in an attempt to drift back into sleep.

Your child's peaceful breathing filled the room, a comforting reminder of his presence. Though still awake, you could hear Ellie's silent breaths nearby. She lingered by the bed, her presence still even in the darkness. It felt as if she was trying to find a way to be near you without you knowing. 

You resembled an angel in the soft moonlight, your skin radiant. Ellie couldn't help but admire you, considering you the most beautiful sight she had ever seen—as if you were kissed by the moon. 

The night was warm, the gentle wind gentle and comforting. In this moment, you hoped to never wake up. 

Your soft hair laid on the pillow like soft and silky thread. Your gentle breathing was soothing. Your body looked like a painting created by heaven itself. You were its beautiful muse and the moon was the painter showing its admiration.

Ellie couldn't help but gaze at you, her eyes lingering on your lips for a moment longer than usual. She then looked down at your child, peacefully nestled with you For an instant, a longing for love stirred within her, a feeling she hadn't experienced in a very long time. It reminded her of the days when you both were deeply in love.

Your body was so peaceful, ellie found herself entranced, her eyes tracing every curve and line. Ellie felt an overwhelming desire to simply…admire you, to preserve your presence. 

Without a second thought, Ellie found herself slowly lying down beside you, her body acting with impulse. The comfort of the bed and the softness of the cotton sheets gave her a warmth that she had long forgotten.

She pressed her body as close as she could get it against yours. Her hands folded under her chin, as if she was too afraid to touch you. 

She found herself lost, aching for a connection she feared to ignite. 

[beaviu]

𝜗𝜚˚ ⋆₊ LOVE iN THE AiR — tension all over the aircraft 😇

⌗ masterlist :: next :: prev

The sun had barely crested the horizon when yn stepped onto the private jet, iced Americano in one hand, tablet in the other. Amber was in the galley, stacking energy drinks like a bartender with a caffeine problem, while Karina arranged throw blankets like she was starring in a flight themed lifestyle shoot.

“Ten says they’re late,” Amber muttered, squinting into the fridge.

“Fifteen says they come in like a Kdrama cast, dramatic slowmo and wind machines,” Karina replied, smoothing down a velvet cushion with precision.

Yn didn’t look up. “I’m betting emotional damage in the form of glitter and lost chargers.”

They all snorted. The world’s favorite chaos factory, known for their impeccable vocals, infuriating charm, and total disregard for packing essentials.

“I’m just hoping no one takes their shoes off mid-flight and declares war on the cabin with socks,” Yn muttered, scanning through the final checklist.

“No promises,” Amber said, then glanced at Karina. “We still hiding the spicy ramen from last time?”

“Top shelf, behind the hummus,” Karina whispered.

The unmistakable sound of SUV doors slamming outside the hangar pulled them all to attention.

“Showtime,” Amber said, jokingly pretending she’s choking herself

The loyalist filed in like a movie cast—hoodies up, sunglasses on, expensive cologne and perfume already trailing behind them. Yn was handing off a drink menu to Karina when a voice interrupted.

“Hey, sorry quick question?”

Yn turned to find Yumi by the entrance, crop top perfectly sitting at her waist showing off her abs, lips curled into a warm, curious smile.

“Yeah?” Yn said with a warm smile.“Who’s responsible for this interior upgrade? This actually feels… cozy. Like someone gave a fuck.”

Karina perked up with a smile. “I gave several fucks, thank you for noticing”

Yumi’s eyes lit up as she took it all in—the soft lights, the carefully arranged snack corner, the mood playlists already cued up. “Okay, but this is a serious glow up. Last flight we were on, I think the seatbelt nearly took my finger off.”

Yn cracked a smile. “We aim for safety, not combat.”

“Big improvement,” Yumi said, then glanced at yn. “And I like your aura. You seem like the one who actually keeps everyone in check.”

Karina leaned over with a wink. “oh she does. Yn’s the boss around here.”

Amber added, “And immune to celebrity nonsense. Which is great for you guys, not so great for the flirts.”

Yumi laughed. “Good to know. I’ll try not to test the boundaries… too much.”

Yn chuckled. “As long as no one spills anything green on a pillow case, we’re good.”

Yumi mock gasped. “Wow. One time.”

They shared a look that lingered just a second before a voice called Yumi back to her seat. She gave a little wave and smile.

“See you guys up there.”

As she walked away, Karina looked at Yn knowingly teasing her. “So… you’ve got a favorite already?”

Yn kept her face neutral. “I like people who don’t treat the plane like a jungle gym. That’s all.”

Amber grinned. “Sureeee boss.”

��ֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🪷་༘࿐

Thirty minutes later, the jet was still grounded. A minor delay on the runway. The rest of the crew was inside the cockpit waiting to get an update from the captain, and Yn had stepped off the plane for a breath of fresh air. The early morning was quiet, warm wind cutting the chill.

Then came footsteps.

Heeseung, heartthrob, and certified walking distraction, emerged from the plane with a stretch and a soft groan.

“Didn’t think anyone else would be out here,” he said, spotting Yn.

“Didn’t think any of you would be awake,” Yn replied, admiring the runway and scenery.

He laughed, deep and low. “Fair. I’m usually horizontal with an eye mask on by now.”

Yn glanced over. His hoodie pulled over his head, sipping from a green smoothie.

“You’re brave drinking that before a long flight.”

“It’s a power move,” he said with a grin. “Mind if I hang out here for a minute?”

“It’s your plane after all. You can hang out wherever you want.”

“Nah,” Heeseung said, leaning against the metal stairs. “You’re the boss here. That much is clear.”

Yn shrugged with a faint smile. “Well someone has to be.”

He looked at her for a second too long, head tilted just a bit. “You’re pretty yk that?”

Yn gives a soft and low laugh. “Is this you trying to charm my socks off to try and break every safety rule that I’m trying to enforce on the plane?? ”

He chuckled, eyes playful but not too intense. “You got me. I was *this* close to sneaking back there and raiding the snack cabinet.” His hands very close together.

“I’d tackle you before you even make it to the fridge.”

“Oh wow,” he said, smiling. “Maybe I’ll behave. just maybee.”

Before Yn could respond, Amber stuck her head out of the cabin.

“We’re cleared for takeoff in five. Chip chop, Romeo and Juliet.”

Heeseung raised a hand in surrender and looked back at Yn.

“Guess I’ll see you in the air,” he said, then added with a sly grin, “Try not to miss me too much while I’m gone.”

Yn rolled her eyes, but the corner of her mouth twitched.

As he jogged back up the stairs, Karina passed Yn with a knowing smirk.

“Not too flirty, huh?”

“Don’t start.”

ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🪷་༘࿐

A few minutes later, as the group settled in and the band scattered across the cabin, a conversation had broken out between the group members, half lounging across the couches.

Amber walked past the group with a basket of snacks when Sunghoon’s eyes flicked up. His gaze lingered a second longer than necessary.

“Be right back,” he said to the group, standing up smoothly without waiting for a reply.

Amber didn’t notice him at first until he was suddenly next to her, casually leaning against the counter as she reorganized protein bars.

“You always walk around like you run the place beautiful?” he asked, voice low, eyes scanning her face with that unreadable calm expression.

Amber didn’t flinch and let that flirty comment slide. “Only when I do.”

Sunghoon let out a quiet laugh admiring her features. “Makes sense. You’ve got that look I guess.”

She turned slightly toward him, brow raised. “What look is that?”

He shrugged. “The look that can emotionally wreck someone”

Amber tilted her head teasing him. “So… you wanna be emotionally wrecked..?”

Sunghoon smirked. “Only if you’re the one doing it.”

They locked eyes, the tension subtle but clearly there, like two people testing the temperature of the water before jumping in.

Yn passed by and blinked. “Am I interrupting something?”

Amber, without missing a beat “Just teaching Sunghoon the difference between bold and reckless.”

“Oh,” Sunghoon said, eyes still on her. “Pretty sure I’m both.”

ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🪷་༘࿐

A little later, after takeoff had been cleared and everyone was settling in, yumi wandered into the galley where karina, amber, and yn were catching their breath before takeoff.

“Okay,” Yumi said, clapping her hands once. “I need to know, who made the playlist?”

Karina raised her hand. “It was me. I spent a questionable amount of time creating it.”

“It’s giving… soft main character energy,” Yumi said approvingly. “I almost cried and we haven’t even taken off.”

“I almost cried because someone put four versions of the same song on there,” Amber muttered.

Yn grinned. “To be fair, one’s acoustic and that’s a whole different emotional journey.”

Yumi laughed and leaned her hip against the counter. “This is honestly the best flight energy we’ve ever had. You guys are so cool.”

Karina smiled. “We try.”

Amber raised her water bottle. “To no mid-air meltdowns.”

Yumi raised her invisible drink. “And no matcha disasters.”

They all burst into laughter, the vibe casual, warm, and full of lowkey chaos—just the way Yumi liked it.

ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🪷་༘࿐

Two hours later, back near the lounge area, heeseung stepped out from the cabin bathroom, spotting Yn near the crew curtain. His eyes lit up instantly.

“Hey,” he said, casually strolling over like he had nowhere else to be.

Yn looked up. “You again.” playfully rolling her eyes.

He feigned offense. “You wound me. I thought we bonded.”

“Over you admitting your smoothie tastes like sadness? yea sure.”

“Exactly,” he said, grinning. “And yet I’m still here, charming and full of vitamin C.”

Yn crossed her arms, eyebrows raised. “You’re not sneaking snacks, are you?”

“Nope,” he said, inching a little closer. “But if I did, would you tackle me again? Or was that a one time offer?” giving her a playful smirk.

Yn raised an eyebrow. “Depends. Your into public humiliation???”

He blinked. “Wow. That escalated quickly.”

“You asked for it.”

“Yeah,” Heeseung said, tilting his head. “And I kind of don’t want it to stop.”

They stared at each other for a beat too long. His smirk was lazy, his bambi eyes soft but undeniably flirty.

Yn shook their head with a smile and rolling her eyes, walking past him toward the galley. “You’re lucky you’re not ugly.”

He turned, watching her go. “So you think I’m cute???”

“Not what I said uglyy.”

“sure sure miss bossy.”

༘˚⋆ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧༘˚⋆ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧༘˚⋆ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧༘˚⋆ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉‧༘˚⋆ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁༉

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 — taglist :: @heesexual74 @starbyeol1512 @naevisringring @urmomssneakylink @lovenha7 @ari3ll4 @t1iqaa @gweoriz @millis-diary @androgynouscrownorbit @reibelhearts @melodiessvy @desssss-0

>ᴗ< authors note — ALOT of written chapt r coming so pls b prepared to read some shitting writing 😇😇💔 but taglist is still opened!!!!!!

[amoeganism]

FUNNY VALENTINE wriothesley

your boyfriend doesn't seem to love you anymore, so what do you do? complain to neuvillette of course!

warnings: kissing, u being dramatic, neuvillette being done with ur shit, u and wriothesley being super gross and in love

you defeatedly slump into a chair in neuvillette's office and sigh for the fifteenth time in the past few minutes. the hydro dragon slides both his hands down his face, much like how he's seen the people of fontaine do when they were in distress.

"(name), if you don't tell me what's wrong i can't help you." in the several hundred years he's lived, neuvillette doesn't think he's spoken those words more than he has now. as he raises a delicate, white teacup to his lips, you burst into tears, violently twisting your head away from him.

"please, don't drink that in front of me," you cry, shoving your face into an overly expensive pillow on his couch. "that duke wriothesley would always drink tea and i cant stand to see it anymore! i will die parched if i have to!"

"if you're implying wriothesley doesn't love you anymore, you are surely mistaken. i'm not too familiar with human emotions, why don't you pay furina a visit? i'm sure she can understand you better."

at the sound of furina's name, you feel your body run cold. the image of your friend laughing until her face flushing crimson red dashes across your mind like an arrow, shooting you in the chest as you bleed out in an impending doom. you love her, truly, but she would never take you seriously in a situation like this.

"hmm, if you don't want to talk to furina, how about i call wriothesley and have you talk to him yourself? he is your partner, he'd be more than happy to talk through this issue with you."

"no! he's the problem! why would i want to talk to the problem? he doesn't love me anymore, neuvillette. he usually kissed my forehead twice before he leaves for work, but today," you pause for a moment, placing a hand on your chest to soothe the agonizing ache of your heart. "he only gave me one."

neuvillette promptly kicks you out.

"now what's this i hear about you crying to the iudex of fontaine about a broken heart?"

normally, the sound of wriothesley's smooth yet slightly mischievous voice would send you sprinting toward him. today however, you were distraught and feeling slightly petty. the only thing that can satisfy your heartbreak was him on his knees, sobbing with a gross trail of snot running down his nose, begging for your forgiveness.

you quickly learn that in the end, wriothesley always wins. with your back faced toward him, he wraps his muscular arms around you in a warm embrace, the fur of his uniform tickling your neck. grumbling unintelligible words, you dejectedly turn to face him but can't hide the thumping of your chest behind narrowed eyes and pouts. wriothesley laughs at you, pressing a kiss on your forehead, one on your left cheek, and one on your rights.

"i'm sorry for forgetting our routine, you petty minx? i ever do something as horrendous as that again, tell me and i'll make it up to you with as many kisses as you want, yeah? if that's not enough, i'll apologize with tears and jump into the primordial sea in your honor."

as the finale of this vomit-inducing opera, he follows the monologue by pressing a loving kiss to your waiting lips, pulling back to rest his forehead against yours.

"yeah you better keep your fucking promise," you threaten. the two of you know you don't intend to be mean by the way you melt into his touch. "i ordered your favorite today so you don't make me regret that."

maybe your boyfriend does love you after all.

[redsrooftopprincess]

Assassin

Raphael x Fem Reader

No warnings, just pain

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

...

He's always had a sixth sense about his children. Perhaps it is part of his mutation, perhaps it is fatherly instincts, but when his more emotional son went missing late into the wedding reception, he went looking.

He finds Raphael sitting on a secluded bench by the house, sheltered from the moonlight by branches overhead. When he approaches, his second son looks up at him with tear filled eyes. He places a soft paw against his cheek.

"Will you tell me what is troubling you?" He asks, knowing that pushing will get him nowhere. His son looks up at him with a lost expression, before shame and anguish turn his features.

"I can't..." He says, looking away.

Splinter frowns, now more concerned. This must be serious. "Take your time..." He reassures, as he sits beside him, placing a paw on Raphael's shoulder. The internal conflict is clear on his face, and he can't meet his father's gaze for several long moments.

"I love her, Dad... I love her so damn much..." he finally responds, breath hitching at the confession, needing a moment before he can continue. "And... every time I think I got a handle on it she goes out with some jerk... or she does something really sweet... or she just... looks at me. And I'm right back where I started."

He grips the bench hard, wood cracking under strong tridactyl hands, "God, I haven't hated it this much since I was a kid," he laughs humorlessly. It took him so long to find peace with himself. With all the things he could never have.

"I was good, you know? For *so long* I was good... Then she turns up and suddenly I..." He shakes his head. You'd come into his world and he'd started *wanting* things again. Impossible things.

He'd walked down the aisle with you as Best Man and Maid of Honor, and the whole time his friends were getting married, he was looking at you. And when the bride was being kissed and you turned to smile at him from the other side of the archway...

"What I'd give for a chance, you know? Just a shot. Just to see if we *might* work..." His voice cracks as if, if he were insistent enough, the Gods would let him have this one thing, "because I think we would. I think we..." His voice choking off into a sob as Splinter pulls him down into a hug.

Tomorrow, his gratitude for you will return. He really does love you, and wouldn't trade what he already has with you for anything. But tonight, as the party winds down across the lawn, Raphael weeps into his father's shoulder, mourning the love he can never give you.

...

Less a lover, more a fighter

But I'm tired of fighting to hold on

Got too many scars to hide them

So it's easier being on my own

But you

Shoot first, draw blood, before I know

Yeah you

One shot, one touch, and I let go

How did this happen?

My walls were up and

You moved without a sound

Never imagined, like an assassin

One look took me down...

Assassin, Sultan + Shepherd

...

Tag list:

@thelaundrybitch @the-cauldron-witch

(let me know if you want in on the tag list ♥️)

[talshiargirlfriend]

Day Eighteen!

This scene burst into my head this morning so I think maybe this challenge is doing its job cracking this writer’s block 🤞 and we’re jumping back in at the deep end with a Mom!T’Pol POV

Saying no

It would be euphemistic to describe the circumstances of Elizabeth’s entrance into their lives as unusual. Appalling would be more accurate. Because of this, T’Pol and Trip considered it of utmost importance that their home be a place of safety and acceptance. They could not alter her origin, but they could ensure she had no cause to doubt that she was wanted and loved as she grew up.

T’Pol sometimes found balancing the emotional needs of her mate and child with her own need to maintain equilibrium challenging, but Trip and Elizabeth were very dear to her and worth any difficulty.

Supporting Elizabeth’s developing sense of autonomy presented its own challenges. Several weeks after Elizabeth’s second birthday, utterances of “All done!” and “Play Lana?” and “Lizbet do it!” frequently resounded, as did exclamations of the word most favoured by toddlers throughout the known universe: no.

For unknown reasons, Trip seemed to find it amusing that Elizabeth’s first friend in the Starfleet Childcare Program was Lana, an exuberant little Andorian girl. T’Pol of course found it unremarkable that a child belonging to her Trip would gravitate to the person in any room who seemed most in need of a friend.

Elizabeth’s eyes were anatomically typically Vulcan. However, as T’Pol watched her daughter explore art materials, she considered the possibility that those eyes perceived color more closely to the way humans did. Or, she reflected, perhaps Elizabeth had simply inherited her father’s aesthetic taste.

As Trip joined T’Pol and Elizabeth at the table, a vibrant smile lit his face. He was back early, maximising their time together before T’Pol had to leave for an afternoon meeting. His joy in their presence seemed to fill the room with warmth.

Until he picked up a blue crayon to join Elizabeth in her artistic endeavours.

“No!” Elizabeth said emphatically, shaking her head. A wispy strand of light brown hair pulled free of the barrette restraining it and curled against her cheek. She reached over and thrust a green crayon at her father insistently.

“All right. If it’s that important to you, Daddy’ll start with the green crayon,” Trip said amiably, shooting T’Pol an amused glance.

After a few minutes of drawing, he asked, “Lizbeth honey, do you think there’s any chance you’ll say something other than ‘no’ to Daddy today?”

Elizabeth regarded him seriously for a moment with her wide blue eyes, and then at last she tilted her head and said, “Nirsh, Daddy.”

Trip laughed, “ All right, that’s fair.” He shifted his gaze and raised his eyebrows, “T’Pol, your daughter is a bilingual smartass.”

“In spite of my best efforts, she does strongly favour her father,” T’Pol agreed.

“Ass?” repeated Elizabeth.

A look of panic crossed Trip’s face and he scrambled to recover, “Uh, ass-tro-physicist! Maybe you’ll study stars and planets someday. Like Mama. You like looking at the stars.” He carefully avoided eye contact with T’Pol.

Elizabeth frowned. “Stars,” she considered, “…no.”

Trip burst out laughing.

T’Pol inhaled deeply through her nose and allowed her own amusement to pass over her. They were both very dear to her, but they were also very taxing on her composure.

[bendycxmet]

Under Your Spell Pt. 2—Vash the Stampede

Summary: Secrets out. Now how does Vash top his previous stream? You have some ideas.

Word Count: ~4.5k

Pairing: gn!reader x camboy!Vash the Stampede

Content: sexual content, nsfw, 18+ MDNI!, handjob, blowjob, edging, voyeurism, whiny vash, teasing reader

a/n: once again, a special order for @biancalattei and @awkwardchick87.

|masterlist| |Part 1|

a large whiteboard sat between you and vash in your living room, markers thrown to the side for twenty minutes now since you both started arguing.

“i’m telling you they’ll love it! baby, it’ll be so hot trust me i know what you guys like-”

“vash, i am being so serious when i tell you the fans will not want to see you fucking me. they are fans for the sole reason that you look sexy jacking off and pleasuring yourself. it would rip them out of their fantasies if they see the gorgeous man they watch every week pleasure someone who is not them. at least for me it would.”

after what you can confidently say was the most dramatic reveal of vash’s side hustle, vash had the genius–and brave–idea to include you in one of his streams as a special guest. a collab if you will. as one of his top supporters, he fully believes this could light a fire under his fans and any potential subscribers, depending on how viral this stream could go in the camming community. a fire you tentatively stoke during your brainstorming session, preventing it from turning into an absolute dumpster fire from vash’s brash ideas. 

the night you found each other in the hallway after the stream was emotionally exhausting. the rollercoaster of emotions you went through–embarrassment, shock, trepidation tinged with enthusiasm, and most of all, hope and excitement at a new step in your relationship with vash. you were also physically exhausted that night, repeating what you had done in the stream and wearing the control you had on him thin, finally snapping after denying vash his release for the third time. the shower was hastily shut off and he toted you off to his bedroom, rivulets of water trailing behind you, wetting the sheets as you two went for several rounds, only stopping when you had become essentially boneless. 

you take a deep breath, mentally fanning the memories away before you have the slight idea of tackling vash to the floor. besides, you and vash haven't broached the subject of what exactly you two are now, out of fear of potentially ruining what you both have carefully curated? ruining your relationship? who knows. 

“let’s remember why you stream. you wanna show how good you feel to your fans, right? and they eat it up every time. i propose we stick to that blueprint, but now, you have someone there to do all the work for you, and you can sit back and just give the people what they want–your reactions.” you tilt your head, questioning if he catches your drift. all he does is imitate you, looking like a curious puppy. you continue. “what if, shoot me down if you want, i’m the one to take you there? blowjob, handjob, what have you, but you can’t touch me. i know you like to be under someone else’s control in some way, having the decisions made for you so you can take a mental back seat. so my second idea would be to tie you to the chair. what do you think?”

vash only looks at you with wide eyes that are full of reverence, shuffling in place. you’re guessing your idea is already affecting him, slyly smiling at him. “i never doubted you for a second mayfly, always the intelligent one between us both.” he gives you a toothy grin. “let’s do it. i have a couple ideas of my own.”

“i’m not doing this naked!” you blurt out.

he shakes his head. “of course not. i would never ask that of you, unless you’re comfortable with it. besides, seeing you like that is reserved for my eyes only.” he fixes his searing eyes on you, undressing you in the moment. 

“ok, now question is how and when do we do this-”

“obviously tonight.” you blankly stare at him, opening your mouth, ready to disagree. you were not mentally prepared. he reaches for your hands and places a reassuring kiss to your knuckles. “gotta strike while the iron is hot right? it’ll be a nice surprise for everyone, considering how much fun we all had last week.” he trails his hands down your forearms, rubbing your skin. “trust me ok? i promise it wont be scary once we get into it.”

-

you’re sitting on vash’s plush red sheets, hands clasped between your thighs, watching as he flits across his room, preparing for the stream that’s due to start in a couple of minutes. you're wearing nothing but one of his sleeping shirts, one that reaches mid-thigh, your underwear, and some socks. the epitome of prudeness, especially for a cam stream. 

he adjusts the camera on his desk, checks the lighting, and moves the chair into position. you check him out from behind, admiring his backside that is only covered in his donut-patterned boxers. he’s already wearing his usual getup, bunny ears sticking up from his head. he finally turns to your tense form, sitting next to you and unlatching your hands from each other.

“ok, let’s do a quick rundown of tonight. you, my pretty, will be the one in control of me, for the second time. i am really kinky, huh?” he chuckles, bouncing slightly on the mattress, excited. “stay off to the side until i bring you on. we’ll interact with the chat for a bit because i’m sure they're going to go ballistic. then you’ll tie me up, and you can start with whatever. at your own pace, because i won't be able to do much of course.” you nod, about to stand from the bed when he pulls you back. “also, i have something for you to wear.” from behind his back, he pulls a matching bunny mask, only this one is black.

your inner fan pops out, squealing as you grab it out of his hands. it almost feels like merch, turning it in your hands, feeling the hard plastic material. you pull the strap behind your head, peeping out at him through the eyeholes. “how do i look?” 

he pokes his tongue into the side of his cheek. “so unbelievably sexy. if i wasn't hard before, i am now.”

“actually, i meant to ask you about that. you’re always so hard when you click in. do you jack off before-” he shushes you, fingertip to your lips. 

“a magician never reveals his secrets. alright. let’s get started. stand by my desk.”

you two get into position, standing off to the side as vash clicks the start button on his computer.

“good evening everyone! what a lovely, horny night we’re having!” his booming, charming voice rings out into the room. you stifle a giggle. he usually isn’t this loud in his streams. you wonder if his more quieter nature from before was him attempting to hide this from you. 

>hello fellow sex havers. or not. we’re all here tonight instead of getting laid

>hey shut up

>has anyone seen bonbon? they’re usually here by now but i’m not seeing them in the participants list

>oh true. where’s our bonbon??

“i actually have an answer to that chat. i think you’re gonna like this.” he drums his fingers on his desk. “drumroll everyone! say hello to our beloved bonbon!” he reaches his hand out to you, palm facing up. you place your hand in his warm one, take a deep breath, and step into the view of the camera, glad for the mask. 

the reaction is immediate.

>WAITWAITWAIT

>r u being for real right now?! is this mf AI??

>bonbon in the fleshhhh

>collab of the century!!!

>matching bunny masks?? i hope they fuck like rabbits too

>chill

your muscles relax. you’re eternally grateful that vash has pulled in a supportive fanbase. you wave at the screen.

“hi everyone. as you know, i am bonbon721. our boy here…invited me out here for a collab, and i thought, why not make our favorite cammer do what we want in person?” waves of comments roll through, agreeing and congratulating you on making the ultimate next step. you mentally pull a mask on, placing yourself into the role of a cam collaborator. what would make this go to the next level?

vash quirks his eyebrows, feeling a sudden shift in the atmosphere. he feels rather than sees you walk around him, circling him as if he was prey under the steely, hungry gaze of a predator. 

“i know i’m the fortunate one to be here, touching, kissing our man.” your hands graze his shoulders as you walk around the back of his chair, lips soon following where you touched him. he’s gone quiet. “i have a plan. but i want to add your input in there as well. add a couple of suggestions in the chat. i’ll pick the best ones. i’ll give you a minute. go.”

vash whips his head towards you. “uh…bonbon? what’re you doing?”

>suck on his toes-

*comment has been deleted by moderators*

>make him bark for you

>you should sit in the chair and have him service you~

>cmon man show some respect to bonbon

>blindfold him

>sensory depravation all the wayy ^^

your eyes catch on those last comments. you grin, teeth flashing in the light from his ring light. vash felt the slow, creeping feeling that he was falling into a trap. this was supposed to be his channel. how had you managed to sabotage his stream in the first three minutes?

“sensory depravation? love that we’re all so kinky here.” you search around his room, spotting a loose scarf on his floor. “i certainly can DIY my way around that.”

“um. can we pump the brakes a little bit? you guys are scaring me a bit,” vash nervously chuckles, eyes flitting to you for reassurance. you bend down to whisper in his ear. “you said to trust you tonight. know that it goes both ways angel.” you kiss the shell of his ear. “plus, we have cheerleaders in the chat.”

the chat is quickly pouring in love and support for vash, various amounts of ‘you got this!’ and ‘dont be a wuss we’re just a couple of virgins.’ the comments seem to easily lift his spirits, vash puffing up his chest in an amusing display of heroic confidence. 

“im back! nothing like a little shyness to humble you from time to time.” you kiss the corner of his lips, the chat gushing at the simple affection. 

“ready everyone? i’ll start by tying him down to the chair. don’t want him moving too much now do we?” you grab the ribbon from the desk, looping it through the holes in the desk chair and securing it to his wrists. vash flexes his hands, testing the strength of the ribbon. “not too tight?” you whisper, eyeing him for any discomfort. he shoots you a loving glance through the mask’s eyeholes, the care in them obscured by the plastic. he shakes his head at your question. 

you slip back into your role, standing and turning back to assess the camera. “now for our favorite new addition–depriving him of sight. say bye everyone!” with that, the red cloth of the scarf is placed over his eyes, severing him from the world around him. 

“perfect, doesn’t he look like such a good boy chat?” their agreement is obvious in the comments. 

>ohhh im hard already hurryyyy

>this is bonbon’s stream now. go bonbon! 

>yo get to it already

“uh, hello? are you still there bonbon?” comes vash’s cautious whine, set on edge at your silence. you decide to heed the chat’s commands and get to work. 

you drop down until your eye level with his crotch. you kiss his inner knee, barely moving in time to miss the jolt of his knees, surprised by the warm press of your lips leading to his intimates. you brush your hands up his thighs, reaching for the waistband of his boxers, digging in and pulling them down his legs. he lifts his hips to help you, your eyes fixed on the bob of his flushed cock as it springs out, fully ready. no matter how many times you have seen it, it still manages to make your mouth water.

he juts his hips up, needy for your immediate attention, his cock swaying with the movement. you chuckle darkly, moving your hands back up his thighs, lightly grazing your nails along the way, pulling a loud whine that echoes out into the dark room. 

“you thought i’d start by rewarding you with my mouth? you need to work for it first, show me how obedient you can be.” you stand back up, your hands delicately trail along his forearm, touching where the ribbon keeps him down, up to his bare shoulders, squeezing the hard muscles there. he whimpers at how helpless he now feels to you. you lean down, throwing your arm around his other shoulder and whisper into his ear. “if you’ll be so good for me during this stream, your real reward will come later…off camera.” he grunts at your suggestion, cock jumping in your peripheral.

>ooo whatever they said totally turned him on even more

>god i wish i were bonbon rn

the comments continue to flood in, but all your focus now is on vash and making him feel the best he has ever felt during his streams. you feel as if you have an angel and a devil on your shoulder, one begging to you ruin him for all his future streams, making it harder for him to cum without you there while the other is begging you to take a step back from the spotlight, to remember whose stream this belongs to. you choose to listen to the former. 

you smooth your hand does his front, pinching and rolling his perked, pink nipples before continuing your journey down south. you feel a bit dizzy as your fingers brush through his happy trail, his stomach warm, realizing now that you have been secretly checking off your fantasy list. you indulge for a moment, twirling and rubbing the softness at his navel before finally touching where he has been yearning for your soft touch. he keens loudly, a loud exhale coming from him as he finally feels your hand encircle his tip. 

“i bet i can get you there faster than yourself.”

his teeth clamp shut, leather gloves squeezing around the arms of his chair. “i dont doubt it for a second. you’ve already had me on edge for five minutes now.” you feel pride bloom in your chest, a prowling sense of possession creeping up in you, wishing you could now keep the image of him in ecstasy for yourself, away from the prying eyes of his subscribers. you shake your head of those thoughts, reminding yourself that you are a guest and this is his stream. you kiss his lobe, abruptly squeezing him, beginning a fast rhythm, your stroking causing him to arch his back, both towards the pleasure and away. 

you press your arm against his chest, pushing him back into his chair, stilling your hand. “good boys don’t move. will you be my good boy or not?” you pet his head, threading your hands through his wig and yanking his head back, exposing his throat, watching it bob as he brokenly gasps his pleasure. you mouth at the lines of his throat, suckling softly, working your hand in tandem with your mouth. he starts to pull at his ties, pushing against your arm as his noises start to pitch.

“please let me cum p-please i can’t hold on anymore-” the chair begins to rattle as his thighs shake, a loud thunk sounding from where he digs his heels into the flooring, driving his release away until you give him permission. an answering knock comes from the floor. yeah, the neighbors are definitely going to file a noise complaint. 

“i’ve been too mean to you, haven’t i?” you coo. “cum.”

his teeth dig harshly into his lips, preventing his pretty noises from escaping. a nasty habit in your eyes. you quickly grab both sides of his cheeks, pressing your fingers in to force him to let go of his lips, satisfied mewls tumbling out of his throat right as hot spurts of cum coat your fingers. he turns in your hand, kissing your palm in thanks. 

“well that was…yummy,” you quip at the chat, licking your fingers free of his release, realizing vash can’t see you indulging in him, slurping loudly to cue him in. his answering gasp and twitch of his cock showing his endless endurance. 

>god what i would give to lick up that mess

>i bet he tastes good

“oh he does. not really salty, actually. ill leave the rest to your imagination.” you quirk your head to the side as vash lays panting before you, cum cooling on his hot skin. “i should help clean him up. i did make a mess of him.” you twirl the chair so that the camera can catch both of you in a side angle. you drop to your knees, giving yourself a moment to inhale the scent of him, nuzzling into his thighs before tilting your head up. your hot breaths are hitting vash’s cock just right, and he might cum from that.

“want me to clean you up?”

“do you even have to ask?” he opens his legs further, bumping you from your comfortable spot on his thighs. you set to work, first licking up his release from his skin. it really isnt a bad taste, settling on your tongue nicely before you swallow. you nose along his shaft, breathing in his muskiness, tip hitting your lips. you gather some of his cum and use it as makeshift lube, stroking him slowly as you open your lips to take the tip in.

“fuck!” he yelps. “i swear it feels better each time.” although he says the last part in a hushed voice, you’re afraid the mic is still picking him up. you glance back at the chat, but don’t see any indication of his proclamation. you still shush him.

“mayfly, you need to take this damn scarf off. i need to see you.”

“hmm, i don’t think you’re allowed to tell me what to do. remember who’s in charge here,” you say as you come up for air, stroking him through your sentence. 

“you’re playing with fire,” he bites out, jolting his hips as he nears his release for the second time that night.

“maybe i wanna be burned,” you shoot back, tongue flicking his slit. he growls darkly at you in warning before a small smirk makes his way onto his face. a comical, exaggerated moan falls from his lips, the first vowels of your name slowly being said in the fake throes of his orgasm. in panic, your hand shoots up to squeeze his throat, forcing him to swallow the rest of your name. “don’t you dare-”

“i would never, bonbon. i’m only playing. remove the scarf.” you huff, snatching the scarf from his mask. “good. hello chat! long time no see!” he gives a tiny wave from where his hands remain tied. “now, keep going love.”

you roll your eyes at him before engulfing him in your hot mouth once again. after being denied of his sight for so long, the view of you on your knees, delivering him pleasure, pushes him one step closer to his orgasm. 

the hot and heavy weight of him in your mouth turns even you on, your eyelids at half-mast as you stare up at him, vash’s muscles twitching with each sensation that flares through his nerves. he sees you eyeing him, looking down at you and maintaining eye contact as he softly whimpers. your arousal is dripping from you at this point, and you may come yourself just from watching him. he spots your hand that isn’t stroking him move down to your panties, gaze heady as he watches you pleasure yourself, your eyes falling shut.

>this is so incredibly hot

> yess bonbon wrap that man around your finger

the sight of you having his most intimate part in your mouth fires him up. he jolts his hips suddenly, making you gag, your throat constricting around him just right. he wails, thighs tensing as that one little move nearly pushes him over. you meant to glare up at him for making you gag, but his pretty and delicate moans soften your fleeting harsh exterior. 

you pop off of him, staving off his orgasm. he whines at your denial. “bonbon, please, just let me cum. i’ll let you do anything else you want to me.”

“hm, i don’t want to give it to you that quickly. you think i’m easy? try again.”

his jaw clenches. “you’re the only one that can make me feel like this please do something. i would be on my knees right now if i could. but just please let me cum, i promise i’m your good boy!”

“now was that so hard pretty boy? all you had to do was ask~” with that final lilt in your voice, you quickly deepthroat him, holding down his thighs with your arms while your hands splay out against his stomach, massaging his muscles as they clench up. a barrage of noises fill your ears. the tightening squeak of leather on metal. the shaking of the loose screws in his desk chair. a punched out, surprised breath above you and then…shattered, pleased groans as he shoots his release down your throat. you hold steady, even though your gag reflex is begging for relief from the intrusion in your throat, massaging his shaft with your tongue as the final spurts make their way home in your throat. you finally let up once his moans turn into overstimulated mewls. 

you sit back on your haunches, rubbing your hands on his thighs. the both of you stare at each other, incredulous for a moment, lost in a world of your own before the consistent dinging of the chat pulls you two back. you both burst out laughing, falling onto his thighs, feeling the burning heat of his body lean over you in an armless hug. 

>this is one for the books

>SOMEONE SCREENSHOT THIS THIS IS PEAK

>they have wayyy more than chemistry here they gotta be dating now

>how are you gonna top this??

vash begins to talk with the chat now, his sentences a little funny, his words slurring together as he recovers. you make slow work of untying the ties from his hands, rubbing his wrists and placing a gentle kiss on each arm.

“can we all give a round of applause for bonbon? let’s appreciate that they’ve made me cum harder than even last time! twice! i really don’t know if i can top this stream now.” he grasps your head as you move to stand up, turning to give you a grateful kiss. he gives one last peck to your cheek before returning to the chat, not seeing the sheepish smile that is etched on your burning face.

>r u 2 seeing each other

>if not yall should you seem cute together

>our man x bonbon who woulda thought? i mean…all of us did

“ok ok settle down everyone, i know we’re all riding our highs of what just happened but i really wanted this to be a special thank you to everyone here-”

>lies! fess up you coward! you like them!

>its so obvious you cant hide it! there was way more than lust in your guys’ eyes

“uh. well. hey you see, that’s because-”

>wait hows bonbon doing? speech!

you watch as the rest of the chat agrees. you swoop in, stopping vash from trying to navigate whatever the two of you have publicly on his channel. “im ok guys. im actually really happy to be here and to have experienced this all. so i want to say thank you not only to this beautiful, gorgeous man-” you feel vash’s arms hug you tightly to his side. “-but also to you, for being so engaging and supportive of me being here. with that, i’ll see everyone next week in the chat!” you wave goodbye to them. 

“before i sign off here actually, i do have something to say.” you look down at vash, not expecting him to look so nervous. he inhales slowly. “we’re actually dating. love and peace!” he quickly clicks the end stream button, hiding his face in your side. 

you stand there, stunned. did he really just make you two official on his live stream?

you bring his head out from where it's stuck to your hip, finally able to see the embarrassed look on his face. “care to explain? that wasn’t just a hail mary to get more donations right?”

he looks aghast at your suggestion. “no! never! ever! would i do that to you. ugh, i actually have been wanting to ask you officially to be with me, and my love for you just reached its peak there and i needed to get it out. i’m sorry-”

“dont apologize. i’ve been waiting for this for awhile… i just wasn’t expecting it to be during your stream. i mean, don’t you think they won’t like that you’re taken now?” he scoffs at you.

“hey bonbon, look at the screen.” you glance over, reading through the comments that were still coming in.

>YES my endgame. i can finally go to bed peacefully

>if i can’t have him, i want bonbon to have him

>real long time coming you two. wishing you the best. although, i hope this isn’t the end of his streams

your eyes well up, glad for all the support and happy that vash’s camming career didn’t just end. vash stands, taking you in his arms. “so does that mean you’ll have me as your boyfriend?” you squeal at the word, throwing yourself into his embrace. the road you two took to get here from just friends can be called anywhere from unconventional to ludicrous. you nod your agreement into his chest. vash whoops his victory and pulls back from you.

“now~” he wiggles his eyebrows at you. glancing down, you see he’s hard. again. “i seem to recall you getting off from me cumming into your mouth.” you gasp at his raunchiness, swatting at his chest. he cackles, grabbing your hand in his to drag you back to him, his other hand swiping at your lower half, feeling the wetness there. “i don’t believe you quite got there though. mind if i get that reward you mentioned earlier?”

he begins walking you toward his bed. you giggle at his antics. “you’re insatiable.”

“stop being so desirable.” with that, he has you trapped beneath him, loving kisses being shared throughout the rest of the night.

a/n: sigh...i need this man like air. thanks for your support! xoxo

divider

[miss-musings]

A TBB Mini-Meta: Crosshair's Two Sides

This is a quick observation combining some of my own previous thoughts and a few that @yavln4 and other folks have discussed.

While it's not quite to the level of Harvey Dent/Two-Face from the Batman franchise, Crosshair has two distinct sides to him. I mean that more so in a physical sense, but I think there's something to be said about the emotional aspect as well.

Crosshair's right side represents who he is as a soldier and sniper.

Everything that serves as a physical reminder of his time in the Grand Army of the Republic and/or Empire is on his right side: His tattoo, the burn scar on his head, and his shaking/missing hand.

Additionally, the inhibitor chip was embedded on the right side of Crosshair's and the other clones' heads.

His right eye is also the one he primarily uses to aim. His viewfinder is on the right side of his helmet, which has zoom and infrared capabilities, and when he looks through a scope, he does so with his right eye.

I'm sure you all know exactly what I'm talking about but here are a few visual reminders:

Now, his left side represents Crosshair as a person -- specifically, as a brother and dad.

It is the side of him that is completely unmarred: No scar, no tattoo, no missing hand. It's his "normal" side, so to speak.

In general, a person's left side is traditionally associated with the heart (ie, wedding rings, etc.).

Crosshair also keeps his sidearm on his left side, which makes sense because he normally has his rifle in his right hand. I only mention this because he uses his left hand to kill Nolan in 2.12 "The Outpost," which becomes a HUGE turning point for him.

Additionally, when he collapses after shooting Nolan, he falls unconscious with his left side facing upwards. As someone else pointed out (I'm not sure who, but if I find the post I'll add the source and link here), this suggests that Crosshair has been "reborn." He's rejected being a soldier and is instead becoming his own person again.

Also, as I've pointed out before, his left side tends to be associated with Omega and/or Hunter.

Of course, Crosshair uses his left hand to save Omega from Hemlock in the finale.

In several key scenes throughout the show, Omega and/or Hunter are on his left side. Examples include but aren't limited to:

Omega talking to Crosshair in the brig in 1.01 "Aftermath"

Omega talking to Crosshair while they're trapped in Nala Se's lab in 1.16 "Kamino Lost"

Omega finding him unconscious on Tantiss at the end of 2.16 "Plan 99"

The family meeting scene at Shep's in 3.05 "The Return"

Crosshair and Hunter reaching an understanding immediately after facing the Ice Wyrm in 3.05 "The Return"

Crosshair and Hunter talking to Ventress at the end of 3.09 "The Harbinger"

Crosshair and Hunter facing down Hemlock as he holds Omega captive in 3.15 "The Cavalry Has Arrived"

The group hug in 3.15 "The Cavalry Has Arrived"

BONUS: Hunter is also to Crosshair's immediate left when Echo joins CF99 in TCW 7.04

Essentially, in S1, Crosshair's "two sides" were in conflict with each other. Initially, it was because of the inhibitor chip. However, once he regains his free will, he doesn't want to give up the life of a solider/sniper.

As much as he loves his family, in 1.16 "Kamino Lost," he ultimately chooses his identity as a soldier versus his identity as a brother.

I think that's why, when he shoots Nolan and collapses in 2.12 "The Outpost," it's significant that it's his left hand and left side that's given importance. He's finally choosing to be his own person again. He's rejecting his identity as a soldier.

Unfortunately, that choice is short-lived, as he is imprisoned at Tantiss for half a year. There, he's subjected to Hemlock's "re-education" efforts and develops a tremor in his right hand.

But, even after escaping and reconciling with his brothers, he can't completely let go of his identity as a soldier and sniper. Unfortunately, his fight isn't over yet. The Empire is still after Omega, and as long as they are, Crosshair's family won't be safe.

So, he continues to fight -- to be a soldier -- but for his family's sake this time.

It's not until CX-2 cuts off his hand in 3.15 that, in a sense, he's freed of that identity. I mean, what good is a sniper without his shooting hand?

As @yavln4 summarized nicely on my "Was there a better way to handle Crosshair's hand tremors?" post:

IMO, his hand doesn't represent his PTSD - it represents his identity as a soldier. It's more important to him than family in s1 due to reconditioning- it wavers after he loses Mayday- and it's completely severed from him before he finally rescues Omega. He goes into that final conflict not as a soldier, but as a parent.

It's only once Hemlock and Tantiss are subsequently destroyed that he's finally free to be his own person. Now, he can focus on just being a brother and a dad, and not have to worry about being a soldier again.

Of course, he'll never be able to erase he who was and the choices he made. His right side still remains -- his tattoo, his scar, his missing hand. And that part of him will be useful if he ever chooses to fight again.

But, he can be reborn. He can choose another path, another life.

His right side represents who he once was, who he was created and born to be. His destiny and his purpose.

But, his left side represents who he is now, who he chose to be and how he wants to live. His future and his freedom.

Crosshair might've been "born" on his right side, but he chose to live on his left.

[madhels-enby-boyfriend]

Elizabeth Arden and Helena Rubinstein hate fucked

18+

In case it wasn’t clear by the title this is nsfw (especially the second part) so minors dni!!

Before I go on this rant I do want to say that I’ve only seen a couple of clips from this musical and have never fully seen it (if anyone has a link 👀). I do however listen to the soundtrack religiously and I’m a lesbian so I feel that qualifies me and makes me right about this.

Also please note this is about the characters and not the actual people!

Firstly their sexualities just cause I can:

I believe Helena Rubinstein is a lesbian, the only reason she ever entertained men is because that’s what was expected and needed to get where she wanted to get. In If I’d been a man she says “I love only men I can't caress” and that honestly sounds so much like someone experiencing comphet to me. Like only loving men you know you can’t have cause it brings you some solace that you at least still like men??? Of course we also have the absolute obsession with Elizabeth and like nothing is straight about that. On top of all of that in Forever Beautiful she very proudly talks about how Tamara De Lempicka had a crush on her which is also not very straight of her and then there is this little moment in No, Thank You where she talks to mr Paley about his wife that had me question if she’s fucking his wife… ngl… like the way she says “I insist, it’s sapphire, like her eyes” had me going like 🤨 “and how do you know that, ma’am???”.

I find Elizabeth Arden more difficult to place, I’m going to be honest. Of course the obsession with Helena is very fucking gay, it reminds me of the song ‘loathing’ from the wicked musical, so she is definitely sapphic. I believe she does like men as well though, like she was genuinely into her husband, I think. My gut is saying bisexual but with good arguments I could be persuaded of most other sapphic identities as well.

Now for the main event: they fucked.

They were obsessed with each other for half a century... HALF A CENTURY… that is a different kind of loathing like… that is a type of obsession that in and of itself is so fucking sapphic that I can’t even put it into words. Like they live in each other’s heads rent free. And when you think about someone that much, you can’t tell me that you don’t, at some level, want them. Once again think of the song ‘loathing’.. hate and love/lust are not opposite emotions, they are far closer to one another than one might think.

They caused themselves (and their businesses) so much damage just to be able to hinder the other. Imagine hating someone so much you want to make their life that much more difficult and will even shoot yourself in the foot for it. That in itself is so sexually and emotionally charged.. like she really means so much to you that you’d damage yourself just so she suffers too?? If that isn’t the gayest thing you ever heard then idk anymore.

The tension that comes from hating one another so severely and trying to continuously make life harder for the other person can so easily slip into something more sexually charged that you cannot convince me that during a specifically heated argument the sexual tension didn’t become too much for them. So they snapped and just let it all out. It was definitely rough and not pretty, I’m talking clashing teeth, fighting to have the upper hand (I believe Helena ends up winning) and torn up clothes. It would truly bring out their most feral side and any composure and grace they previously held goes out the window.

And once the dam broke the first time well.. let’s just say whenever life got too much and they needed to take it out on someone… their arguments turned into something more carnal.

Now let’s talk about Face to Face because that song is gay as all hell. What do you mean you wonder about what her favourite perfume and artists are??? Like the way they’re singing about one another in this song is the reason I first was like “oh they fucked”.

At the beginning of the song Helena complains about how she’s always been attached to her ‘rival’ but they’ve attached themselves to each other, no one forced them to remain enemies or to continue being petty and make life harder for the other. They could have detached at any point.

Also how they suddenly wanna share their struggles with one another??? GAY!!! And how they suddenly admit that maybe the other person is possibly just as good as they are because why else would they be able to annoy them this much??? SAPPHICS!!!

Now onto stealing each other’s confidant… like there is something so petty and so gay about that like why on earth do you want the person that is closest to her by your side? Is it because you want to get under their skin so badly that you’ll do anything?? Is it because it’s a way to have her closer to you without being closer? Or do you want to gain more knowledge about her??? No matter the answer, the outcome is so fucking gay and most definitely leads to hate sex. Like what do you mean you stole her husband to have as your right hand man??? That is so utterly bizar and is such a messy lesbian move. What are you trying to get to know about her that you need her husband as your right hand man 🤨.

Beauty in the world + the entire finale is so fucking gay. It’s basically like “yeah only us two know about when there was true beauty in the world” and like “we should just stay enemies for business” HELLO??? “Our secret” EXCUSE ME???. Maybe we helped the other survive/thrive??? What kind of gay ass shit????? Helena asking Elizabeth her opinion on her lipstick. The way Helena looks at Elizabeth when she sings “Eyes that glittered like a gem. The lovers we bewitched with them.” They definitely fucked.

“Strange with you I see it all again like new. A glimpse of beauty in the world.” SORRY??? I DON’T THINK ANYONE HAS EVER SAID ANYTHING AS ROMANTIC TO ME AS THIS.

The way they look back so fondly on their rivalry.. it really was a way to cope and survive and blow off steam and you cannot convince me that they didn’t hate fuck to help with that.

After that encounter they had sex one last time and for the first time it wasn’t purely hate filled but there was some softness and fondness there.

And lastly THE WAY HELENA APPLIES ELIZABETH’S LIPSTICK IN beauty in the world. LIKE THE WAY SHE SO GENTLY WIPES IT AWAY THEN APPLIES IT AGAIN?? The first time I saw that I nearly screamed and died. If that moment can’t convince you that they slept together then nothing can.

That’s it’s for now. I wanted to add more clips as proof etc but I can only add one sooo I chose this one

(This rant was inspired by a reaction from @yourbasicqueerie)

[voidcat]

(modern setting but) Deliberately using religiously-rooted phrases that made their way into daily language like “oh my god” “may god be with you/guide you” “inshallah” “wallahi” etc around Anaxagoras just to get on his nerves and watch him scrunch his face as he pinches the bridge of his nose

He does give up one day and ask why you do so when you’re not exactly particular on religions yourself. All his resolve down the drain, you can see absolute defeat in his face, the way his shoulders have dropped- he does look a tad more exhausted than his usual, maybe you should’ve been easier on the poor man for once.

Seeing you shrug nonchalantly was not on his list of possible answers for sure. As someone who respects his wishes and ways of order to go through with his day, that one particular thing had been nagging at him for a while now. Your demeanor now only makes it worse. With a huff, he rolls his eye, “You’re quite the walking contradiction yourself. Though I find it still up to debate whether it comes naturally or something you’ve carefully crafted over the years.”

With his words out, Anaxagoras turns to redirect what remains of his attention to his work and reach out for his tea- startled when your sudden chuckle fills the air in the empty room.

Resting your elbow on the desk, you use your hand to support your chin and lean towards him, nothing much, mere five centimeters maybe, but enough to make him freeze on the spot- Anaxagoras begins to feel blood rushing to his face at the close proximity.

“Would you like to hear the generic answer or the hidden agenda?” You make him the offer, smiling ever so slightly. Just as he opens his mouth to speak, your index finger shoots up from its spot as you shake it left and right in the air. He can hear you clicking your tongue at his impatience already.

“You can choose only one~. But don’t you worry, there’s truth to them both~”

Dragging the words in a sing song matter, you tilt your head to the side as you watch his expression shift, waiting like a feline in ambush, eyes twinkling.

From confusion to assessing the possibilities, Anaxagoras’ face undergo several changes. He scrunches up his nose again, then pouts for a while, finger tapping against the deck three times, red spreads over his cheeks but not all the way over to his ears— you’ve seen him gotten red all the way up to his ears only once and wonder what else would push him to that stage again.

“I’d like to hear the latter.” His voice interrupts your train of thoughts and you smile. He can guess the former pretty much like anyone and he must be aware you’d not have voiced it like this, was this not your true intention all along.

You blink at him and retract that hunter’s grin. “I like the expressions you display and the sudden change to your body language whenever I speak- or act like that.”

As the last word leaves your mouth, you’ve already pulled your hand back to your lap, leaning back, eyes closed and the ghost of a shrug he can trace the edges of as if it was how the kids annoyed you today that you’re talking about and not a blatant confession regarding your actions.

Hairs on edge, Anaxagoras finds a whirlpool of emotions brewing within him, again with that rush of blood and eye wide open— too slow to react and mask that initial shock all over him, he feels the beating of his heart painfully loud within his body and in his mind, the sound echoing, a dizzying mixture with the sight of you.

Crossing your arms before you, you tilt your head to the side again as you watch him, drinking in the scenes that unfold before your eyes—

Your smile is not as untamed but gentle now, with a hint of smugness for a change. There’s now an air of peace and content to you that you don’t often display— not together at the very least. The glint of satisfaction in your eyes mirroring that of a researcher pleased with their most recent experiment’s results; Anaxagoras soon gathers himself and coughs, earning a giggle from you as you unfold and scoot closer to him, redirecting your attention to the papers before him.

For a second, your gaze darts to his ear and back at the material laying on the desk— beginning to hum a melodic tune, you do sound content and jolly for the remainder of the hour as the two of you continue work and discuss the material at hand.

[fuckyeahizzyhands]

Con O'Neill interview with Awards Radar's Steven Prusakowski 😭😭😭❤❤❤

SP: Busy time of year, but, you know, starting to slow down in just enough to hang out with the family and do all the cooking for, like 48 hours and then.

Con: Are you the main cook in the house?

SP: I am the main cook.

Con: Yeah. So am I. I love it.

SP: I love it, too.

Con: It's my go to place.

SP: Yeah.

Con: Because when I left school, I trained to be a chef.

SP: Oh, wow.

Con: Briefly. Another story.Okay, let's rock and roll.

SP: Well, that passion never leaves you, I think. I think once you start, especially when someone enjoys and says, hey, I really liked your food.I hear from my daughter's friends or their parents, she loved your pasta or whatever it was, I'm like, okay, now I'm...

Con: It's the best feeling, isn't it?

SP: It is. It's wonderful.

Con: And just that kind of inherent, nurturing thing of just going into the kitchen empty handed and coming out with a meal for people is really rewarding. And I love it. It's intoxicating. I absolutely love it.

SP: Same here.

Con: Because I travel so much, I don't always get a place with a kitchen. And that's why I always try and get an apartment when I'm filming because it just gives me a place to be in my head that isn't about work.

SP: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I can talk cooking forever, but-

Con: But we should.

SP: I know we're short on time and I have a ton of questions and I won't get to all of them. So let's just jump into the series and maybe we could pick it back up. Sorry to interrupt, but I love the series. I love your character and your performance.

Con: Thank you.

SP: It's a stellar, and there's so much to Izzy that we see on the surface, but there's so much more to him beneath. How was this character originally pitched you and what did you initially want to bring to him?

Con: The thing about this character was he wasn't in the pilot. So when I spoke to David about it, there was nothing written. So he explained it in very broad terms. But then I quite like specifics when I'm choosing projects. And kind of... he brought up Salieri from Amadeus, and I really hooked into that. Now, I don't know whether we went that way with it in the end, but it was a really good hook for me because Salieri is that guy with a mission who is on the surface wanting, but is underneath something else. And I think initially, Izzy was that, but then we exploded him in several other ways and Salieri diminished to something else. But it was a good hook for me

initially to get in by thinking about Salieri.

SP: Yeah, I like it. I could see that for sure. And to start the season two. So going into that, he's a shadow of himself from this feared, intense, strong man to a broken man. And what was it like taking this character and exposing that humanity and starting to peel away some of that shield.

Con: I mean... David had spoken to me before we started shooting and explained most of the hulk to me, and I'd always played Izzy as a man who was in love but didn't know he was in love. And for me, the key into this season was a. the design, but more importantly, was the Taika's performance. To see a man that I love to be that broken and to be that vicious because of the heartbreak, it was profound for me to see what he did with Blackbeard, and it did break my heart a little bit. So the emotional journey was quite clear that at the end of the day, all hatred of Stede had left him, and all he wanted to do is fix Blackbeard, and he risks his life to do that. He literally puts himself on the line for that because, like always. And what I loved about what David and the writers did was they didn't remove Izzy from season one in season two, he's still there. And what Izzy does is about the crew. He puts his life on the line because Blackbeard is killing his crew, and he risks it all for that. But it breaks him seeing the the man he loves so fragile and broken and angry, it breaks him. So, It wasn't an easy job. It was quite a lonely job. It was quite a difficult job because it was going down that path that I knew inevitably we were going to go down. But I thought it was beautifully written. So most of what I needed to do was on the page, to be honest-

SP: -I'm sorry-

Con: I just had to throw myself into it.

SP: Excellent. And then with Izzy being broken and literally broken, he loses his leg, which is symbolic of much more. It leads to one of the most touching moments of the series, a note with four words: For The New Unicorn. What did that mean to you, and what does that mean to the character?

Con: You know, I've been talking a lot last couple of days - because I'm allowed to now - and, you know, this season is about Izzy coming out. In many ways, he comes out, but that moment, that rest, that beautiful piece of writing again, the writing, where the crew embrace him, and it just releases him. It releases him from his own concept of who he is. It releases him from his own concept of who he has to

be to be a first mate and a brilliant first mate. It released him of concept that he's alone. None of this would have been possible to Izzy pre season one, none of it. And in many ways, it's Stede that brings this into his life. Because before Stede, Izzy never thought of his relationship with Blackbeard as a loving relationship. He never thought of it as being in love. He only realizes he's in love with Blackbeard when he sees Blackbeard lose Stede. That's the only... The reveal is he's heartbroken because the man he loves is broken, and he doesn't know what to do with any of that. He's not emotionally capable. And the crew giving him the letter and calling him the new unicorn and releasing him from all the stuff that he'd done, all that pain that he'd suffered and anger that he'd raged upon them, it's a really accepting moment. So... yeah, I'm waffling a bit now, but it meant a lot, and it was a very beautiful moment to play. And I thought Andy, who directed it, directed it so...Andy was a real shoulder for me to lean on in those scenes, because a lot of those early scenes I'm shooting on my own. And it's quite difficult to play an emotional narrative when you're on your own, because it tends to just be one tone. And he was wonderful, and Alyssa and Alex and all. They were all wonderful in helping me gauge those moments, as were the rest of the cast. But, yeah, that moment touched me enormously.

SP: You know, you have this love triangle that is never really spoken, but it's there.

Con: Yeah

SP: Then it kind of shifts - it's almost like a love square. It's Ed, Blackbeard, Izzy and Stede. And where the love, you know, crosses, it's all... or the hatred is at sometimes, but then it evolves...

Con: Absolutely.

SP: It's so complex.

Con: I mean we all're in contemporary language. We always associate love with romance. That isn't the case here. The love that Blackbeard and Izzy have for each other is deep, man. It's deep, and it's rooted in years of working together, loving each other, saving each other's lives, being constant. This is probably the only constant they both had in their lives, is Blackbeard is Izzy, Izzy is Blackbeard, and then they have this buffoon come in and steal Blackbeard's heart. It's not that Blackbeard falls in love with someone else. Blackbeard falls in love with this guy. This Izzy just can't comprehend, and it's a constant. And then once, I think once Blackbeard hands him the gun, everything changes. And Blackbeard says, kill yourself. Everything changes. And then there's an openness to Stede and Blackbeard that brings him to that place of acceptance-

SP: -It's great to watch also. I'm sorry. Go ahead.

Con: No, that. I mean, I'll waffle again. I'll waffle a lot, because that's what I do. But the more I think about that relationship, the more I go down all these different avenues of what it could have been, and what it could never have been, and what it is and what it wasn't. And as you say, it's layered and complex, and I'm honored to have been able to get to play with those actors, and especially with Taika, who's a profoundly good actor - everyone talks about Taika's director and writer - the man's a fucking great actor to work opposite, and he's... he's exquisite. So, yeah, I could only go where I went because the writers and Taika. Really.

SP: That's great. I... of course, we have to touch upon the end of the season and the end of Izzy, unfortunately, which I'm hoping is not. I'm hoping David has something up his sleeve. But what was your reaction when you learned it and how emotional was shooting that final scene? Because that final scene says a lot between...

Con: It was a... listen, I've been around a long time. The writing was on the wall when I started to read the scripts, and David had kind of hinted at it anyway when we went out for the famous dinner where he told me what the plan was, and I was gutted because I loved playing him so much. But, yeah, narratively, yeah, it makes sense. And I have complete faith, respect, love, admiration for David Jenkins, and whatever he thinks or wants to happen in season three will be the right thing if he gets season three, which I, whether I'm involved in it or not, I really hope he gets it, because he deserves it. And the show deserves it. The show deserves its triangle. It deserves it. But, yeah, it took a few days to sink in, and then I was fine. I was incredibly tired by that time. And I was lonely, as... really lonely because I was so far away from home filming all these scenes, and I tended to isolate when I was filming because of the nature of the work. So when I wasn't filming, I was sword training, or I was working out, or I was learning to walk on that fucking leg, or I was whatever whatever whatever. So I found myself isolating a lot. And in a way, it was a relief to be released from it. The final scene David had sent to me several weeks earlier. And I prepped, as I always do, and I prepped and I prepped and we were going to shoot at the beginning of the last week, and then it got shifted to the middle of the last week, and then it got shifted to the morning of the last day, and then it was shifted to the last thing we were going to shoot in the entire season. And there's always a dark cloud around those scenes because you never quite know how it's going to play. And there's a lot of pressure. And it being the last thing we were going to shoot, put more pressure on. And we were on the ship, which is a huge set, hundreds of crew members, the cast, everyone who could possibly be there was there. And I was getting quite unsettled by the amount of cacophony of noise and people. And then we rigged it all up, and it was still just [noise]. And then suddenly it was just me and Taika and just saying goodbye to a character we both fell in love with. And it was... it was a, I'm saying 'profound' a lot, but it was a profound experience doing that scene because everything else disappeared. It was just me and him. It was just Izzy and Blackbeard. And it was a lovely lovely moment.

SP: It was painful, but-

Con: It was lovely to be held by-

SP: -beautiful to watch.

Con: Yeah. Thank you. I mean, it's lovely to be held by another actor just... creatively and likewise with me to him. And David had a playlist playing and it was... elegant to do. It was nice to do. It was a nice, fitting ending to that chapter of this character. And I'll always be grateful that they shot it in that way.

SP: I do have to wrap. I just want to say before we do, I really enjoyed your rendition of La Vie En Rose. fantastic.

Con: Thank you.

SP: That's beautiful. And I appreciate all the work you did in the series, and I hope we see you again. And hopefully maybe you'll have a cooking show too, along the way, because I'd love to see what you make in that kitchen.

Con: Come on and let's bake together. Oh, I can't bake. I'll cook. It's lovely l ovely talking to you, Stephen.

SP: Great talking to you as well. Have a great day.

Con: Thank you. Bye bye.

SP: Thank you.

[softpascalito]

Worth crossing a blizzard for - Pedro Pascal x Reader

Summary: During shooting for The Last of Us, a snowstorm hits Canada, essentially forcing Pedro to take the day off. Turns out its not as bad as he thinks.

Relationships: Pedro Pascal x Reader WC: 1600 Tags/Warnings: MDNI, RPF, Real-Person-Fiction, Non-Explicit Sex, showering together, Gender-neutral Reader, Snow, blizzard, Crew Reader, The Last of Us Shooting, Canada, Kissing, Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Soft Pedro Pascal, Healthy Relationships, Secret Relationship Read on AO3 full advent calendar (updated daily)

notes: i haven't written pedro in sooo long, i miss him. needless to say, this is the lil version i created of him in my head and not necesarily an accurate representation of his actual personality <3 also, this is another lil entry for stephs winter writing challenge with the trope warmth, i highly recommend checking the entire list if youre interested :) (@toomanystoriessolittletime)

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

It starts with a light snowfall, little white particles floating through the air, rushing past the car as he drives back from set and a small sigh escapes his lips. It's been snowing on and off for weeks, usually meaning an earlier calltime for everyone, to make sure the locations can be cleared from the thin layer of snow if needed.

The wind has picked up by the time Pedro reaches the apartment that has been his home for the last few weeks and when he steps out of the shower half an hour later, the light snowfall has developed into a full-on blizzard, complete with cars honking in the streets below and his phone vibrating angrily, demanding attention. A rushed glance as he gets dressed confirms his suspicions. There's several warnings of severe weather, most of them due to hit tonight.

A gentle knock on the front door lets the man whip around and a small frown builds on his forehead as he crosses the hallway, taking a quick glance through the peephole. He practically yanks the door open.

You have your coat wrapped tightly around yourself, a knitted hat drawn down to your ears and a scarf wrapped around your neck. The two latter are practically soaked, decorated with little white crystals all over that are beginning to melt in the slightly warmer air of the hallway and dripping down onto the door mat.

Pedro stays still for a moment, taking in your form in front of him, before his brain registers what's going on. He reaches out, pulling you into the apartment, “What the hell were you thinking?”

The door closes behind you and the frown that decorated Pedros face a moment ago is now appearing on yours, “I- What?” For a split second you wonder if he's mad. He rarely gets a day off and even when he does, he usually spends it doing something, unable to just sit and relax, even for a little while. Maybe he's made plans for tonight and you've just crashed them.

“You can't be walking around in a blizzard like this, look at yourself,” he tuts, helping you take your wet coat off along with the hat and scarf and maneuvering them into the bathroom to hang them up to dry. You take your boots off carefully, gaze never leaving the man in front of you, “It's barely a twenty minute walk.”

“You're telling me you didn't even get a taxi?” He asks as he returns to the hallway and watches you put your shoes onto a small shoe tray.

“Does it look like I got a taxi?” You shoot back, getting a little irritated with how concerned he is. Immediately, Pedros gaze softens a bit and a small grumble escapes his throat as he takes a step forward, bringing his fingers up to your hair to carefully pick a snowflake out of it.

It melts between his fingers.

“No, you don't,” he muses, smiling a little sheepishly. “You could've called me. I would've picked you up.” You can't help but chuckle a little at that, “I did call you. You didn't pick up. The phone, I mean.” He stares at you for a moment, then back at his phone that has at least a dozen unread messages, then back to you, “Fuck, I- I was taking a shower, guess I didn’t hear-”

“It's fine,” you promise gently, standing on your tiptoes to place a small kiss on his cheek. Pedro sighs a little, taking in the way you’re looking at him and eventually nodding as he leads you further into the small apartment. It's spacious for one person but cozy for two, production of course not having calculated that you would be here too. You tried to stick to only sleeping over on weekends for a while, arguing that Pedro needed his rest and a quiet environment to go over his lines. He argued back that he slept a lot better with you beside him.

“You want a coffee?” He offers and you nod yes, following him to the open kitchen and hopping onto the counter as he grabs a mug for you.

“So you haven't read it yet?” You ask, rubbing your hands together in an effort to warm them up. “Read what?” His back is to you, the sound of the coffee machine starting almost drowning out his words. 

“Shoot is canceled for tomorrow. Probably until next week.”

Something about your tone makes him turn around to face you. He's in front of you a second later, hands resting on your waist as he studies your face, “And you're not happy about that?”

“Why would I? It sets us back at least two days and were already behind, at this rate reshoots-”

Pedro hums a little and squeezes your waist, causing you to fall quiet.

“I don't like it either but-”

You cut him off before you can stop yourself, shaking your head as you speak and lowering your gaze towards the floor, “It's just really bad timing and I have so much to do already and-”

“Hey, look at me.”

He squeezes again, a little harder this time, and one hand comes up to nudge your chin until you're looking right at him. You find soft brown eyes, the little patch in his beard you like so much and hair that's still a little damp from showering.

“It's snow. You can't do anything about snow.”

You let your head fall forward again, letting out a small sigh, “Yeah, I know.” Pedro gently brings his arms around you, holding you close for a moment. The coffee machine beeps, signaling that it's done. But he doesn't let go yet, rubbing your back a little instead.

“The way I see it,” he starts. “We may as well enjoy our night in. Even if it wasn't exactly planned. Plus, there's no way in hell I'll let you go back out there anyway.”

He does have a point. And a night off, especially a night off for both of you, doesn't sound too bad, even if it's constricted to the small apartment you're sitting in.

As soon as your coffee is empty and a few urgent messages are replied to, Pedro insists on a shower to warm you up. You're halfway to the bathroom before you turn around with a small smile on your face, “You're gonna let me shower alone?”

“I just showered,” Pedro replies almost automatically, putting your mug away. Then, he catches the small twinkle in your eye.

“You just showered,” you repeat, the smile still decorating your face and Pedro nods a few times before getting into motion.

“I guess I could do with another one.”

For once, there's no rush. You take your time, with the shower and everything that it includes. You spend what feels like a solid five minutes kissing afterwards, already scrubbed clean and so, so content. The air is steamy when you step out of the shower and Pedro really does treat you to the full experience, insisting on applying your lotion for you.

You hum contently as he gently massages it into your back, your muscles tingling with relief. He chuckles softly behind you, “Feeling a little warmed up already?”

“More than a little. Don't know how you do it.”

You lightly slap his ass on the way to the bedroom.

After securing your favorite sweater of his and some sweatpants, you find yourself in the kitchen again, rummaging through the cupboards to figure out what to cook up with the scarce ingredients available. You both usually eat on location or get some takeout on the way home, not to speak of the lack of cooking skill you both possess.

It ends up being pasta with some leftover greens and tomatoes and for once, you could swear it tastes ten times better than whatever takeout you could've gotten. You're cuddled up on the couch, staring out into the dark, gusts of snow still blowing past the window. The traffic jams have calmed down, the people returned to their houses to find shelter from the cold. Only a few lost ones are still wandering around, no doubt with a goal that justifies a walk through the conditions. You understand them.

Pedro watches a man disappear around the corner and swallows his mouthful of pasta, “Are you sure you didn't catch a cold?”

You smile weakly, “ Even if I did, it would be worth it. I'd trade a cold for a night off with you. You know that.” He chuckles a little, tilting his head slightly, “Just saying, it may be a little on the nose for both of us to get sick at the same time.”

You raise a brow as you finish your plate and gently put it down before cuddling into Pedro’s side, drawing your legs up onto the couch, “There's a blizzard. It's not that on the nose.”

The snowflakes landing on the window stay there for a few moments, glistening in the dim light from inside the apartment before the warmth seems to reach through the glass. One by one, they turn into small drops of water.

He considers your words for a moment before nodding, “Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right.” His arm wraps around you, pulling you in a little more as you rest your head against his shoulder. He leans down to plant a small kiss on your head and you hum contently, smiling to yourself.

The snowflakes melt on the window pane. You melt in Pedros arms.

Your voice is only a mumble.

“Besides- you can't do anything about snow.”

notes: hey babes! im considering a second part to this so let me know if that's something you'd like <3

[4ragon]

@latchic said: Op I would love to hear about your thoughts on galo trying to save kray and all the details of his and lios psyches, you got some cool words to say and I’d like to hear more

Absolutely. Any time. I love thinking about this stupid movie.

So I forced a bunch of my friends to watch Promare with me and on the one hand the parts where Galo was like "Lio don't kill him!" all of my friends were like NO DO IT PLEASE END HIM which was really funny.

But. But but but. I do think it's super important that Galo refused to kill him.

Okay, so there's several parts to this. To start with I don't think that Kray being Kray was really an important factor in Galo trying to keep him alive. Like, we are WELL past Galo holding any respect for the man, and they did just spend the last like 15 minutes of the movie beating his ass. And yes, Galo absolutely has a lot of emotions to unpack about him, but none of those feelings have anything to do with the decision not to murder him.

So Galo tries to 'defend' Kray twice. The first one is when Kray starts taunting Lio after their robot battle and Lio fucking loses it. He tears himself out of Lio de Galon and Galo shouts out "Wait don't kill him!" And I think there's two reasons for this, at least for this first moment.

One: Galo does not think it's right to kill. That's just a given, he's a fire fighter, his whole job is to keep people alive, and I don't think any amount of anger is going to make him change his mind on that. But more than that, he doesn't think it'd be right to kill someone who 'can't fight back.' Because in that moment, they have no idea Kray still has an ace up his sleeve. He just knows that Lio is angry and not in his right mind.

Which leads me to Two: Galo doesn't want LIO to kill, because Lio thinks it's important not to kill. It's the same reason he stopped Dragon-Lio from destroying the city, and confronted him in Aina's helicopter instead of, I dunno, shooting him in the head with an ice gun. Lio doesn't want to be the monster everyone thinks he is. He doesn't want to be a murderer, no matter how much people deserve it. Lio said over and over again that the burnish would only hurt someone if forced.

And in this moment, Lio is being tormented and brought to the brink, but he's not acting in self defense. He's not doing it to protect anyone. They already won (quote unquote). And I think Galo knew intrinsically that Lio killing Kray would absolutely destroy Lio from the inside.

But the second time Galo saves Kray I think is way more interesting. This is right before the kiss of life scene, when he destroyed the engine and pulled Lio free. Again, his decision not to kill Kray had nothing to do with Kray.

And also, it kind of had everything to do with Kray.

Because Kray almost killed everyone. He truly and sincerely believed that the majority of humanity had to be sacrificed for the greater good. And sure, there was a good dose of megalomania in there, but he genuinely thought the Burnish and anyone he didn't invite on the ship needed to be killed to protect humanity as a whole. And isn't it worth it, to sacrifice the rest of humanity if it means a select few make it?

And Galo looked him in the eyes, said fuck that, and decked him in the jaw.

Because Galo didn't believe him. No amount of justification would make this right. There was no world for Galo in which people had to be killed for the greater good. Galo was going to save every last person on the fucking planet, and was not going to compromise his morals to do it just because Kray didn't think he could.

Kray told him he had to kill in order to save, and Galo said no, I don't even have to kill you. And I won't. And I love that.

I probably shouldn't keep going, because I still have a million and one thoughts about these little guys and this post is getting too long, but if you want to read 93,000 words dissecting Lio Fotia and his trauma I did write this fic about it.

[skyemagica]

Skye's DIY HRT survival guide

After making a comment about DIY HRT on another post I've been helping a lot of people with supplying (and if you need help with that, shoot me a message!), while also pointing them in the direction of the DIY HRT Directory for other important info/tips, but I thought it would be nice to have the information readily available on Tumblr. (Especially considering the increased need I expect in the next four years. Stay safe.)

I can only speak from personal experience on transfem dosing, effects, etc., but I've tried my best to make this guide thorough for transmasc and transfem people!

How should I dose? Ultimately, it's up to you, but there are some helpful pointers as to where to start. Starting with testosterone, a low, medium and high dose of gel and injections:

And for estrogen - many girls going the legitimate route get started on an extremely low dose of estrogen (such as 1mg a day), but I can say that I started sublingually on 6mg, haven't had any nasty side effects and after only 4 months am having both visible and psychological/emotional changes. However, there is the rare but real possibility of your body having a negative reaction to your method of application, so going slow even for just a day or two might be worth your while. I got 6mg from the DIY HRT Directory, assuming you're also taking an anti-androgen. (More on those later.) As for injections:

What do I dose with? Again, it's up to you, though there are considerably more estrogen options than testosterone. Testosterone is typically available in injection and gel form, while you can get estrogen in pill, spray, gel, patch, or injection form. The reason injections are often recommended for estrogen is because of their affordability versus other methods, plus the ability to do monotherapy and not need an anti-androgen. (Anti-androgens are pills that block testosterone - extra cost, extra potential side effects. It is theoretical to reach monotherapy with other forms, but you should be aware of what a higher dose of E does to your body before attempting it.)

This does not mean you have to do injections for an effective transition. Thousands of trans people have met the goals you have in your head without injections - it is possible. We have technology! Er...pills, rather.

If you are in an unsafe environment, or even if any little thing makes you doubt your safety - lock up your medicine. Whether you have to hide it inside a sock, stuffed animal, or can afford an actual safe/lockbox, no one else has the right to interfere with your medicine. Life unfortunately doesn't always follow the linear patterns in our heads of wanting to be safe before we can start HRT - sometimes the noise in your brain gets so loud you run out of other options and have to take the risk.

If you think that your safety or shelter could be put at risk by starting HRT, look into resources in your area for queer and unhoused people. Have a go bag ready with your necessities. Set aside some extra money on an "emergency" prepaid debit card, especially if anyone who affects your safety also has access to your money.

Blood tests are ideal, but not required. I would be a hypocrite to encourage them too much, as I'm unable to get any right now without raising suspicion. Unfortunately, a lot of trans people are going to be in this same boat, or similar boats due to cost, inability to purchase in their area, etc. If this is an option for you, Private MD Labs, LabsMD, and Walk-In Lab provide private blood tests in the US without having to go through a doctor.

There are still visible ways to see that your dosage is working - they may not all be immediately recognizable, but within a few months you should have several signs. In my transfem experience, random erections were the first thing to go away, followed by a sudden emotional change (why am I crying at The Lion King for the first time when I've seen it many times?) and the starting of breast development. Transmasc individuals might notice some stubble growing, their voice getting lower, an increase in acne, increased appetite and sex drive, etc.

Where do I want my levels? Generally, you'll want your levels in the expected area for an adult cis male or female.

Transmasc: Total testosterone (T) 300-1000 ng/dL, estradiol (E2) lower than 50 pg/ml

Transfem: Total testosterone (T) below 50 ng/dL, estradiol (E2) above 100pg/mL

Rome wasn't built in a day. Neither are beards and boobs. It's very easy to get impatient with the results of HRT, but much like your first puberty, it's a process that takes several years. DIY does give you the advantage of adjusting your own dosage at your will, but if you don't have blood tests easily available, you're taking a shot in the dark. Here are some charts that give an estimate of the time range you should expect the changes of T and E, but everyone's body is different!

Can HRT make you gay? You may have heard of the phenomenon of people suddenly becoming attracted to men, women, or both when they start their hormone therapy, even if they weren't before. (There's not a real scientific backing for this, but it's documented enough to be listed as a side effect in some places.) And no, the HRT didn't make them gay - but it can change your sexual urges, and as you become more in tune with your true self, you may be more willing to notice or just accept things that you hadn't in the past.

I'm sure I'm missing things so there may be a part 2 later, but for any pressing questions just reply or shoot me a message! (This is how I've decided to try to help others through the upcoming unprecedented hell, for now. And if no one's told you this recently - you're not a burden, thank you for being you, and thank you fur trusting me to help!)

(Of course, don't just listen to me, I'm a dodo. I highly recommend reading through everything on the DIY HRT Directory when you have the chance! It is the main source for the info here, as well as my own personal experience, /r/TransDIY and GenderGP.)