#does nat even realize coach ben was willing to do this?

[jackiietaylor]

thinking about nat’s transition to power in the wake of the cabin burning down. they had all been so eager to accet her as their leader once lottie annointed her, but how will they react now? they don’t know that coach ben wanted them dead, they might not have even noticed he was gone. will they think the wilderness is punishing them? will the think the wilderness already chose its messenger through lottie, and that by choosing someone else they’ve angered it to the point of taking away everything they have?

[perryabbott]

ben being the "only adult" hasn't actually mattered since the crash. it was subtle at first but then laura lee essentially tells him to shut the fuck up and the energy has a noticeable shift. there's a similar moment in 1.10 and all of that just solidifies it for ben: his "authority" means nothing out here. i do personally think some of it stems from the loss of his leg and his having to rely on the girls (i don't think any of them recognize that/outwardly think bad about him because of his disability, but it's a survival situation and it's impossible to not have that influence so much of their dynamics) but regardless, "adult" is a qualifier that's been meaningless for months now. we never really see ben have any interactions with the kids besides nat and travis (no, i will not be mentioning misty since she assaulted him, thanks!) like. he has spent his entire life being Othered. and he is still Other out here. because of his age. his gender. his disability. he is so completely and utterly alone. he is in the process of a mental breakdown. i truly don't understand how people are reading these scenes with paul as "flashbacks" or acting like they're willing at this point and not the product of his incredibly fragile mindset. paul's home was the cabin in 206. he could still hear the screaming. his mind is breaking down. no, his "gay fantasies" were not more important than shauna. it's a psychotic break. did no one see him almost pass out? (he's consistently had physical reactions to blood/injury. btw) does no one remember he didn't eat jackie, and probably hasn't eaten much since then?

does no one realize he can't exactly kneel in front of shauna and do anything meaningful because he's disabled?

but really, what can he even do? he isn't a "health teacher." i'm going to assume a lot of the people acting as if he has some kind of educational qualifications aren't american. i feel like it's pretty common in america for "health class" to be taught by a PE teacher/coach with no background in it who just plays video and reads out of a book. he doesn't have a medical history. he literally says, "i just press play on a video." no, misty and akilah aren't trained, but misty clearly paid attention in class and akilah's sister had given birth. they do know more than ben.

and no, ben didn't look at shauna and go, "that's gross." the blatant homo- (and transphobia) in acting like a gay man was just "disgusted" by childbirth is just disappointing to see.

if you really want to be upset by ben's actions, obviously, you can be. maybe he could have done more to be comforting but i just don't think he could have "saved" the baby. it was already dead. to blame him, to act like he willfully killed the baby/did not care about shauna, is just silly. to say that the disabled gay man needs to kill himself so the girls can eat him now is an insane take. to act like he needs to be punished for something out of his control is stupid. to single him out when he was far from the only one being "useless" is just weird. why is there a sudden lack of critical thought re: his character?

and can we wait to see everyone's reactions before deciding everyone hates him for it?