#does anyone else ever feel like they have triggers that don't belong to them

[halinski]

.

[justlemmeadoreyou]

jealous!harry headcannons

-> Whenever someone flirts with you, Harry's jaw clenches involuntarily. His emerald green eyes narrow ever so slightly, a subtle sign that he's not entirely pleased with the attention you're receiving.

-> Harry doesn't even realize it, but his hand often finds its way to your lower back when another person enters your personal space. It's a subtle way of showing people that you're taken, a possessive touch that never fails to make you smirk.

-> His lips form an adorable pout when he notices someone charmingly complimenting you. He might act nonchalant, but that little pout reveals the hint of jealousy simmering beneath the surface.

-> When you catch him staring intensely at you while you're engaged in conversation with someone else, it's not just admiration. Those silent stares are his way of saying, "You're mine, and I don't like sharing."

-> Whenever you make out, or during sex, he likes to bite on your neck. Even though you ask him to not bite you at the visible spaces, but he always does. Just under your jaw, at the junction of your neck and shoulder, at the side of your neck, at your jugular almost possesively, to show that he is the only one who gets to do that to you.

-> Innocent questions like "Who was that?" or "Do you know them well?" become loaded with an undercurrent of jealousy. He might pretend it's just curiosity, but his heart beats a little faster as he waits for your response.

-> Harry's fingers might "accidentally" brush against yours when he senses someone watching a little too closely. It's a subtle way of reminding everyone that he's the one who gets to hold your hand.

-> In group settings, he strategically positions himself between you and any potential threats. It's a protective move that ensures he can keep a watchful eye and be ready to intervene if necessary.

-> He becomes unusually vocal about his love for you when he senses competition. Expect random declarations of affection and praise, as he wants the world to know just how amazing you are.

-> These may even get a bit heated when there's no one close, like whispers of "my good girl, aren't you?" "so good for me, baby. look so well by my side" "can't wait to have my head between those pretty thighs of yours" "you're all fucking mine, aren't you doll?"

-> While he may not growl audibly, the subtle, low vibrations that escape his chest when he feels jealous are enough to send shivers down your spine.

-> You'll notice him dressing a bit sharper or wearing outfits that accentuate his features when he knows you might encounter someone who could trigger his jealousy. It's his way of making sure he's the most appealing person in the room, to show just how worthy of you he is.

-> Harry's teasing takes on a whole new level when he's jealous. His playful banter becomes slightly more pointed, like "accidental" brushes of his hand on your inner thighs, innocent kisses on your neck that always leave you turned on, and hiding his love boner by holding you as close to him as possible, his cock pushing it's way between your ass cheeks, because "wouldn't want anyone to see how hard i'm for you, love"

-> Grunts and whispers of "you're mine" and "just fucking mine", "you belong to me, don't you? all fucking mine" while he's fucking you into oblivion. It's similar when he has his sinful mouth between your thighs: "taste so fucking sweet" "all this for me?" as if it could ever be anyone else except him.

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[pininghermit]

Alucard with a Pregnant Reader

Pairing: Alucard x Fem Reader

Genre: Angst

AN: Feel free to sue me if you spot an grammatical error. College tuition is on me friends :))) (pls don't)

Part 2

"I am so scared," you whisper, your fingers tracing the curve of your taut belly. It's barely noticeable to anyone else, but you can feel the presence growing within you. The healer's words from this morning echo in your mind. Eight weeks. The child inside you is eight weeks old, a secret shared only by you and the kitchen walls.

The signs had been impossible to ignore – the missed period, the bouts of vertigo, the persistent waves of nausea, and that peculiar craving for grapes. Denial had no choice but to give way to the truth.

Your heart aches with uncertainty, but it's not just the unknown future that grips you; it's the thought of Alucard. The two of you hadn't discussed children before. It wasn't a topic that had ever found its way into your conversations. The idea of parenthood had never been part of your plans.

Alucard, with his scarred past and the haunting shadows that still lingered, was a picture of complexity. You knew he carried wounds that hadn't fully healed. The mere thought of this news, of this life growing within you, could be a cruel trigger. You stand in the hush of your kitchen, your voice timidly breaking the silence, as if testing the weight of your thoughts in the air. "I do not want to burden him or force him back into the memories he's barely managed to escape," you murmur to yourself, the words a fragile secret shared with the walls.

"I don't want to disrupt the fragile equilibrium we've found. I don't want to steal away the progress we've made together... but at the same time, I can't ignore this," your voice quivers, and a tear escapes your eye, tracing a glistening path down your cheek. The conflicting emotions swirl within you – the want for this unexpected life, this precious gift that belongs to you and Alucard, battles against your fears.

Shame and guilt intertwine with desperation, tugging at the corners of your conscience. Does your yearning for this child outweigh the love you hold for Alucard? How can you weigh one life against another, one desire against the fragile, hard-fought happiness you've found together?

So, on a stolen night when the moon hangs low in the sky and stars whisper amongst themselves tales of old, you lay next to Alucard. Moonlight trickles through the curtains, painting your surroundings in a gentle, silvery glow, creating a haven just for the two of you.

You lie beside Alucard, the sheets a soft cocoon around you both, and your head rests on your arm as you gaze at him. His fingers interlace with yours, tracing patterns on your palm, a touch that usually brings comfort but tonight, a tempest brews within you, hidden from his perceptive eyes.

Your fingers glide through his hair, each strand a cascade of silk between your touch. His head tilts into your caress, a gesture that conveys both ease and affection. "What is it?" His voice, like a whisper carried by the wind, brushes against your senses. The concern in his eyes pulls at your heartstrings. "You seem so distant, so burdened these past days," he observes, his gaze holding yours, unwavering and genuine. In that moment, words escape you, caught in the tangle of emotions that you've been wrestling with.

You take a steadying breath, your fingers never ceasing their gentle dance through his hair. "It's... just thoughts," you begin, your voice soft and tentative, "worries that have found a way to settle in my mind." His unwavering attention emboldens you to continue, "I've been trying to sort through them on my own."

His thumb brushes over your knuckles, a subtle reassurance that he's there, by your side. "You know you can tell me anything," he says, his tone a mixture of encouragement and gentle persistence. His genuine concern is a testament to the trust you both had built and it fills you with warmth even amidst the turmoil within.

With a sigh, you finally voice the storm that has been raging within you. "It's about... us, about the future," your words weave into the quiet of the night. "I... I've learned something that's left me torn." His patience anchors you, allowing the words to flow more freely.

You take a deep breath, your fingers entwining with his as you draw his hand closer. The closeness brings a soothing comfort as you shift nearer, your hand holding on to Adrian’s finds its resting place on your belly. His name, Adrian, escapes your lips like a whispered prayer, and then the confession tumbles forth, heavy with implications. "Adrian, I've discovered that... we're expecting a child."

Time seems to stand still as the words hang in the air, the weight of them etching a profound stillness between you. His eyes widen, a myriad of emotions flickering through their depths, unspoken words caught in his gaze. The universe seems to hold its breath, and in that suspended moment, you feel his fingers tighten around yours, his grip an anchor amidst the swirling sea of emotions.

Yet, the heartbeat of the universe quickens once more, and in the blink of an eye, he's at the door of your room. It's as if the warmth of his touch and the tenderness in his eyes have been replaced by a chilling breeze. His hand rests on the doorknob, the barrier between you both a tangible representation of the distance that has suddenly grown.

You're not one to be silenced by that distance. Your heart propels your words forward, a bridge you're determined to build across the expanse that has opened up between you. "I know that this was not planned," your voice carries across the room, each word infused with the weight of your emotions. "And I know that neither of us is prepared for this, for the path that has been placed before us."

The words tumble forth, the reservoir of your heart's yearnings finally breaking free. "This truth, Adrian, it's something we cannot ignore or deny. I won't force you into a role you're not ready for, and I won't ask you to become someone you're not. But..." Your voice trembles, the vulnerability stark in your admission. "I can't give up on this child. I can't turn away from this new life that's growing within me."

The days stretch on, a silent echo of the unanswered longing that fills your heart. One week turns into another, and before you know it, half a month has slipped through your fingers like sand. The cold reality settles over you like a shroud – Alucard's choice, unspoken yet glaringly obvious, has left you with a hollow ache.

Every corner of the castle seems to hold a memory, a whisper of the time when your paths were intertwined. But now, they are just that – memories. Your belongings, once scattered amidst the grandeur, now seem out of place, like fragments of a life that was meant to be but never was.

With each item you gather, with every trace of your presence that you erase, the weight of your new role bears down on you. The mother and the father – it's a title you never expected to hold alone, a responsibility thrust upon you by circumstances beyond your control.

It's a quiet determination that propels you forward, that steadies your trembling hands and dries the tears that threaten to fall. You assemble the remnants of your life, leaving behind a trail of an existence that was both vivid and fleeting.

The finality of it all is captured in the note you leave behind. The pen scratches against the paper, pouring out words that mirror the turmoil within your heart. You don't blame him, you don't accuse him – instead, you offer him a glimpse into your own battle-scarred emotions.

"Alucard,

Once, I held onto promises as unbreakable as the dawn, and believed the bonds we wove were unyielding against any tempest. Life, however, has a knack for steering us into uncharted territories, down alleys we could never foresee. I comprehend your decision, even if it rends at the very fabric of my being.

I can no longer evade the stark reality that lies before me, the weight of responsibilities now solely upon my shoulders. Our path has veered into unforeseen terrain, and I must summon the strength to navigate it in solitude. Our unborn child deserves nothing less.

Allow no shadows of blame to cloud your thoughts. I hold no such sentiment in my heart. It is my fervent wish that with time, wounds may mend and we shall each find our own way forward. Always shall I carry the flame of our love, and the vows we whispered beneath the stars.

With a heart both burdened and unwavering,

[Y/N]"

Amidst the whirlwind of agony, your midwife's voice breaks through, insistent yet comforting. You strain to make sense of her words, every fiber of your being consumed by the all-encompassing pain of contractions. She seems to peer into your very soul, searching for an answer. "What do you wish for?" she asks again, her eyes locked onto yours as if seeking a secret.

Summoning the last dregs of your strength, you manage to reply, the words escaping your lips in a strained murmur, "Gahhh I think uuh a girl." The curt response is all you can muster amidst the ordeal.

Your fingers clutch at the sheets beneath you, your knuckles white from the intensity of your grip. The contraction slowly releases its hold, and as the wave of torment subsides, you gasp for air, trying to steady your trembling body. The seconds feel like eternity, every moment stretched to its limit.

"How long?" you croak, your voice raw from hours of relentless struggle. You've lost all sense of time, each passing second an eternity of pain.

"A couple more. We need a bit more dilation. Hang on, my dear," your midwife's voice is a soothing balm, her touch gentle yet firm. She rearranges the pillows behind you, adjusting your position to aid the process. It's a small gesture, but it carries the weight of empathy and understanding.

It had been a miracle that she agreed to deliver your child when none other did. The world is never kind to a single mother. Wiping away the sweat on your forehead, the woman looks at you with pity in her eyes. "Your girl will be fortunate to have a mother such as you," the kindness of her words leaves you more vulnerable than you already are.

"And when she finally arrives," the midwife continues, her hands cradling your tear-stained face, "you will teach her to be as brave as her mother." After all the months of your pain, your guilt, and heartache you for the first time feel loved.

A brief interlude of tranquility is shattered by the onset of another brutal contraction, the pain washing over you like a tidal wave. Your body tenses, your breath catching as you grit your teeth against the intensity. The midwife's voice, steady and guiding, pierces through the haze. "Come on now, time to push," she declares, positioned at the foot of the bed, her poised stance is a beacon of strength.

"Push, push," her words merge with the searing ache, becoming a distant echo as you steel yourself for what lies ahead. Your fingers, once tangled in the sheets, suddenly lose their grip, rising to cradle your belly. Yet, before they can fully reach their destination, they're enveloped by larger, familiar hands.

Adrian. His presence is a jolt of solace amid the chaos. The memory of those hands, those strong and steady hands, floods your senses. They fit yours perfectly.

In that moment, he draws closer, his body aligning with yours. He positions himself behind you, he places a kiss on your grossly sweaty forehead.

There are no grand proclamations, no elaborate vows. Instead, it's the tangible proof of his presence that speaks volumes. It's a testament that, despite the shadows that have haunted his past, he has chosen you, and the life you've created together. His child.

Your breath comes uneven but despite that you hear his heart beat. It beats louder than ever, even louder than the time you managed to jump scare him.

Your screams end with shrill cries filling the room. She was here, your daughter. She was here with her father and mother.

[mochamamii]

yandere!nct: you have children.

▹ a/n: hello loves, I got a request to write the yanderes as fathers a loooong time ago loll lmk what you think!

▹ triggers: yandere!au, toxic relationships, controlling partner, abduction

▹ pairing: yandere!nct 127 x fem!reader

Taeil definitely wants kids. He's more the traditional type so he'd like for you two to be married first. But no matter when in your relationship children come he will be ecstatic nonetheless. Taeil's obsession with you will only intensify once children are involved. He will love your children just as much as he loves you and is willing to kill deal with anyone who threatens his family.

"There's nothing I wouldn't do to keep you and our children safe. I promise."

Johnny would welcome the idea of children. Johnny doesn't do anything without intention, and whilst he'd be able to love his children like a regular father, he'd probably see them as another means of keeping you under his thumb. He'd hope having a baby might detour you from wanting to run away. He's definitely the type to weaponize your access to the children, punishing you by keeping them away from you until you behave.

"You're mistaken if you think there's anything I wouldn't do to keep you right here where you belong. Our children are no exception."

Taeyong is more partial to the idea of having children. If it happens great, if not he won't feel like he missed out on something. Taeyong would see children as more of a liability than anything else. More opportunity for people to pry into your lives. Naturally, Taeyong is just as protective of his kids as he with you. He cares for them and wants them to be happy but isn't all that attached to them like a normal parent might. However, he sees them as an extension of you and loves them for that alone.

"There's no one I'd rather have be the mother of my child than you, there's not a single doubt in my mind about that."

Yuta wants kids for sure, and a lot of them. He's not concerned about whether you want kids yourself or not. Once he's made his mind up about something that's the end of it. He'd want kids sooner rather than later but is at least willing to give you a little time to change your mind. Once the first kid is born this man isn't wasting any time and is ready to make the next one. Lowkey has a pregnancy kink. As a father, Yuta is the unconventional wacky parent. Rejects gender roles for his kids and wouldn't want them going to a traditional school.

"What's one more kid? You look so cute with a swollen belly..."

Doyoung wants children but only when he feels you're both ready. From the moment Doyoung laid eyes on you he's imagined the day the two of you welcome a child into the world together, but he's not the type to impregnate you recklessly. To Doyoung, it's important that you want this just as much as he does, a happy mommy means a happy baby. As a father Doyoung is on the strict side. He's big on good manners and high marks. Doyoung appreciates order and detests disfunction so he might struggle in the early years whilst your child is still young.

"Sometimes you act just like your mother. You should know by now little one that attitude gets you nowhere with me."

Jungwoo wants as many kids as you will give him. Before meeting you kids were never really on his radar. Whether you want kids or not is not that important to him, he will be sad if you don't want them like he does, but after all Jungwoo is the one who's always known what's best for you, right? Jungwoo is definitely the type to trap his significant other. Any birth control you have is either getting thrown out or replaced with something else behind your back. As a father Jungwoo is super involved. He wants to be involved in all your child's milestones, big or small.

"I didn't think it was possible to love you any more than I already did but now that you've given me a child, how could I possibly ever let you go now?"

Mark is indifferent to the idea of having children. He wouldn't mind them but ultimately he would see them as more of a distraction for the two of you. He'd only want kids if they were something you really wanted. Lowkey is scared his children will take after him more than you. As a father I think that Mark would be caring but distant. It's difficult for him to care for anyone else even half as much as he cares for you.

"You know anything you want I'll give you, I'm not opposed to tiny versions of us running around."

Haechan wants kids someday for sure. How many you two have is less important to Haechan, I see him being satisfied with even just one child. As a father Haechan is the laid-back and relaxed parent. Whether the child is a boy or girl he will want them to be his little miniature twin. He will love his children but isn't above using them as pawns to control you with. You want to leave one day? Sure, go ahead, but the kids stay.

"Don't act like you're trapped babe. The door is right there, waiting for you to use it anytime you want. But don't think I won't chase you to the ends of the earth if you ever even think about taking my kid from me..."

[yanderes-galore]

HI- I know I'm super late- But I hoping I could get this in- I was hoping for Y!Kugo Sakamata from MHA, romantic Hc's and if it's too late please go head and ignore this

It's been a bit since I've seen MHA and I don't recall Gang Orca having a big role plot-wise. Despite this, I'll try my best to write him using the personality I found on the wiki. I hope you like the HCs I came up with regardless, even if they aren't intense.

Yandere! Kugo Sakamata/Gang Orca Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Overprotective behavior, Possessive behavior, Animalistic behavior, Animal-like courting, Violence, Stalking, Brief blood mention, Dubious relationship

According to what I've read, Kugo is a calm and focused Pro Hero.

He's friendly and good towards his fellow Pro Heroes.

Although when he was pretending to be a villain, he can put on a cruel and ruthless persona to fit the role.

He likes to see students improve in UA and learn from their own mistakes.

He takes teaching seriously.

Under the intimidating appearance, Kugo is actually quite soft.

He would be this way with his beloved, too.

I like to think due to his quirk he displays orca-like courting with his obsession, even if he doesn't mean it.

I'm talking like... he makes small vocalizations towards you when he holds you and stuff like that.

Kugo may be possessive with you, too.

I actually imagine most heroes who have animal quirks act like that animal at times.

In terms of how you could've met Kugo, maybe you're a new Pro-Hero or are working alongside him in some way.

His obsession starts as just him wanting to watch over you and protect you as a fellow ally.

It's then his feelings would develop once he realizes he isn't staying professional.

For example, when around you he makes small clicking sounds when talking to you.

Or when you're talking with someone else, especially someone you may have an interest in, he seems oddly moody or aggressive.

Others are a bit concerned about it but Kugo does his best to brush it off.

While he has the ability to paralyze his enemies, I don't imagine he'll use such an ability on you.

That or if he did, it would be nearly unheard of.

He cares too much for his partner to harm them.

Kugo is durable, strong, and fast.

If I remember correctly, he also uses sidekicks to his advantage.

If he was worried about you, he'd probably send you a few to watch over you.

That would also be his only way of stalking you since I imagine he can be busy.

I like the idea that he's soft with you despite his intimidating nature since he is fond of being a teacher for kids.

He'd never mean to scare you on purpose.

In fact, due to being a Pro Hero, I doubt he'd fatally harm anyone unless he had to for your safety.

Even then he'll reassure you that you're safe and tell you he had to in order to protect you.

If you were already in a relationship, Kugo keeps you in his home.

He likes you safe and often uses that as an excuse.

In reality he may just like you away from prying eyes.

Talking more about orca characteristics, when he holds you close and you're alone he definitely makes noises.

If he's flirting with you or showing affection, he'd make vocalizations towards and love it if you touch around his eyes or mouth.

Not going to lie, a possessive and protective yandere fits for him.

If you say you want to go outside and continue your work, he turns it down.

If you wanted to teach young heroes he may relent though.

He'd adore you if you were good with kids.

If you ever got hurt, Kugo would go ballistic.

He may not even care who else gets hurt as long as it means he can protect you.

At the peak of his obsession, you may be isolated and under watch by your "partner".

Doesn't matter if you were dating prior to this or not, you'll be in his home where you belong.

He tells you not to worry... that he'll protect you no matter what... you should only rely on him as your partner...

Just listen to him and nothing will hurt you in this cruel world, he'll guarantee that even if it means there's blood on his hands.

[petitelepus]

I am pretty social, however I prefer to spend time alone! I care about others a lot… To an unhealthy amount honestly but I'm working on it! I love to help others and make them smile, but I do wish I would get something for being so nice in return, yeah it might sound greedy but I want to be appreciated! I care too much about what others feel and think and it's tiring, I just want to be selfish sometimes and care about myself even if it sounds mean. I am most of the time unserious and I love to joke around, serious situations are stressful so I prefer to be joyful, but I do like talking about serious topics (sometimes). I apologize A LOT, I apologize so much that it might be too annoying but I always feel a sense of guilt inside of me. I'm also VERY sensitive and worry about everything. When around older people/people that I don't know I tend to be shy. Also horror and scary things are very important to me, I can't imagine my life without it, it's just such an interesting genre that makes me happy and intrigued!

Hantengu is Yandere for you!

This cowardly Demon fell for you and your sweetness and thoughtfulness, but somewhere that love turned into an unhealthy obsession.

You're so helpful and busy caring for others that you barely care for yourself!

Don't worry, once you are his, he will give you as much attention as you may desire and more, and all he asks is that you show that sweet compassion to him.

He wanted to keep you to himself and never let anyone else see you ever again. Wouldn't that be great? Just you and him and no one else!

So in the middle of the night's darkness, he crept into your home and took you with him.

If you scream at him, he will cry and cover in fear as if you were about to hit him. You weren't, but he still acted extremely fearful toward you and it triggered your habit of apologizing to others.

He will guilt trip you shamelessly, telling you that he just wanted to talk to you, he meant you no harm, how could you yell at him like that?

You're so kind, sweet, and sensitive, so when he does that, it's game over for you as you can't nor will he ever let you go.

Once you belong to Hantengu, he takes wonderful care of you, calling you his own angel because you are just as kind and cute as one. He insists that you can be who you truly want with him, trying to lure you to fall for him like he fell for you.

It can get tiresome to always tend Hantengu and his needs, but that's what his clones are for too, to prevent you from getting bored of Hatnengu and to learn to love his other sides.

Sekido thinks you are too sensitive, but it works in his and the original one's favor. Seeing that you are sensitive, he tries not to yell at you, but he might scold you if he sees it fit. He might not be your favorite clone, as he is most serious, but he does want to take care of you like others do too.

Karaku loves watching horror movies with you and often asks you playfully if you wanna play the victim while he acts like a zombie and eats you out? You're not sure if you should be fearful or not.

Aizetsu loves you so much, you are so kind and sweet, he almost feels bad that the original one took you, but at the same time, he couldn't feel so because he is so fond of you. You may get along best with him since you are both sensitive.

Urogi, loves your carefree moments and loves just as much laughing at your jokes, no matter if they were good or not. He is pretty easy to please and you can't help but smile at his ability to laugh at most things.

But this is Hantengu we are talking about. Once he falls for you, he won't let you go, no matter what he needs to do to keep you with him. If he must, he will personally turn you into a Demon and will force you to depend on him for the rest of your life.

Food, flesh, company, he would provide this all for you since you wouldn't be able to step outside during the day anymore and he doubts you actually have the heart to kill anyone. Lucky you, he is willing to do anything for you.

[b-lightwalker]

FNaF Movie Ramble

Long story short, I really like the movie, I really like Mike, Vanessa, and Abby, and I want them to be happy.

There be spoilers beyond this point.

I love the little found family that started forming between Vanessa with Mike and Abby. I know it hasn't gone anywhere yet, but we all know the signs. Please, Mr. Cawthon, let Vanessa take on an older sister/mother figure role like Mike.

I love how Mike has a roundabout way of talking when he's being emotional. He doesn't just say, "I love you," or, "Thank you," to Abby and Vanessa respectively, he rambles and goes on whole tangents about why he feels that way and it works. It works so good. And I am also talking about game Mike.

I love how William was handled. I was surprised he didn't get a lot of screen time, but it works. William is a behind-the-scenes guy. It's not until he comes on stage, front and center, that you realize what he's been doing this whole time. And the scenes he is in, he kinda steals the show. I didn't expect William to have an outburst near the end when the animatronics started turning on him, but of course he would. In his eyes, he made them better than they were ever going to be alive, and not even seconds ago, they considered him a friend. And the sheer confidence of this man to put the Spring Bonnie head back on while actively being spring locked is insane. (Anyone else think William may have forced Vanessa to learn how to treat wounds for whenever he had issues with the spring lock suit?)

William giving a young Vanessa the toys from his victims makes me wonder if game William did the same. Of course, when game William started killing, his kids were long since dead, but still. Imagine, Michael going into his siblings' rooms that aren't touched unless they're being cleaned, and he starts seeing these toys that don't belong to Elizabeth and Evan, but they look like toys they'd like. At first, Michael ignores it, thinking he just didn't notice it at first, even though he knows. He knows everything that's supposed to be in that room and he knows those toys aren't supposed to be there. Eventually, he asks William and he just says he bought them 'cause they reminded him of Ev and Liz. It doesn't 100% work for Mike, but it works enough, so he leaves it alone. After all, people celebrate a passed loved one's birthday, so why wouldn't they get gifts too? Even if they just stay in their old rooms. Then one day, Michael randomly gets a gift from William. I can't think of anything better, so let's just say a cassette tape for his Walkman. It's a tape that Michael would actually listen to, and it's relatively new, so Michael's confused why it's just the tape and no case, but since a gift means a good day, he doesn't question it. At least, not out loud anyway.

I wonder what happened to Aunt Jane. I know she was most likely killed by Golden Freddy, but there's a chance Mike brought her to the hospital and neither him or Abby are visiting 'cause neither of them like her. Imagine your niece and nephew visiting the hospital almost every day, but to see someone who is borderline a stranger to them and not you. I'm absolutely "making" a game counterpart to Aunt Jane, though. She's William's younger sister and she's almost as vile and manipulative. Just not keen on murder. Directly, anyway. Though in the games, she wouldn't have a trigger to want to get rid of someone like she does in the movie, but if she did have one, she'd be willing to kill. Maybe she could talk William into it. She still smells like cigarettes and is the reason the Afton kids hate the smell.

I initially thought Garrett was Abby's imaginary friend, but--save for the fact that it was essentially deconfirmed--it wouldn't make sense for Garrett to haunt his sister and not his brother who he would've known was kind of losing his mind from the trauma of his kidnapping. In any case, I'm currently going with the theory that Garrett is the Puppet and the one behind the "Come find me." message at the end of the credits. We'll see.

Since FNaF 2 is a prequel, I wonder if the FNaF 2 movie will also be a prequel. And if so, will Jeremiah be our protag? I know he was probably just a reference to Jeremy Fitzgerald and nothing more, but if he's not, then game Jeremiah and game Mike are work buddies. And if he is movie Jeremy Fitzgerald, I wonder if he wanted the dream theory book Mike has because he also had weird dreams while working at Freddy's. Maybe. Maybe not.

Tutorial Lady/VHS Lady/Kim and Phone Guy are totally married and their kids are Phone Dude and Tape Girl.

I know Mike being an Afton is basically impossible now, but if another twist is Mike and Vanessa are twins or related in some way, and Mike was given up while Vanessa was kept, I'd be 110% down. Then it'd be found family in the most literal sense. It doesn't 100% work, sure, but it'd be neat. (Imagine recognizing the son you gave up 'cause you recognized his last name 'cause you killed his brother.)

In any case, I really love this movie, and I want Mike, Vanessa, and Abby to be happy. Family dynamic, please, Mr. Cawthon.

[archiveikemen]

'Secret In Your Heart' Collection Event: Elbert

I do not own any of the Ikemen Series content being uploaded on this blog, everything belongs to CYBIRD. Please support them by playing their games and buying stories. Not 100% accurate, expect mistakes.

read this before interacting with my posts

It was exactly when I started to miss the city of London.

Elbert invited me to go outside with him because I was feeling depressed.

The moment we went into the city, we realised that Elbert’s good looks were attracting too much attention.

I made use of my London street knowledge and got us away to an empty park.

…

Elbert: … I’m sorry. I’m not the best person to take you out into the city.

Kate: It’s alright. I’m glad you invited me, and this park is part of the city as well.

Kate: Gingerbread can be enjoyed like this too.

Elbert: … Does that taste good?

Kate: Yes. Absolutely!

While I was chewing, he suddenly grabbed my wrist and stole a bite of my gingerbread.

Elbert: … I think it’s delicious.

Kate: T-That’s nice…

I was startled by the sudden physical contact, and then I heard a rustling noise coming from the bushes—

Deranged Woman: W-Who are you… Sir Elbert can’t be with anyone else… he can’t be with anyone else…

Kate: … What.

Deranged Woman: He shouldn't be alone with a woman in a place like this—!

The deranged woman yelled as she took out a knife.

(I need to dodge—)

Before I could react, there was a splash of blood.

— It came from one of Elbert’s arms that were protecting me.

Kate: Sir Elbert…!?

Elbert: …

Elbert stared blankly at the wound.

His gaze slowly turned toward that woman.

She started shrieking and panicking, as if that had triggered her.

The police patrolling nearby were alerted, and they rushed to the scene and arrested that woman.

Meanwhile, blood continued dripping from Elbert’s arm.

Kate: Are you alright!? L-Let’s get you to the nearest hospital…!

Elbert: — I will not see a doctor.

Elbert grabbed me by the wrist and firmly refused to see a doctor.

His tone made me feel overpowered.

Elbert: … Let’s go back to the castle.

Kate: … Alright. Please, put pressure on the wound with a handkerchief at least…

…

Roger: Good news. There was a rather large amount of bleeding, but the wound wasn't deep. It should heal quickly without leaving a scar.

Elbert: … Thanks, Roger.

Kate: That’s good…

I finally felt relieved after watching Elbert have his wound treated from the side.

Kate: Um… can I ask a question?

Kate: Are members of Crown unable to see a doctor?

Roger: Nope. There’s no problem with him seeing the doctor as Earl El.

When Roger glanced at him, Elbert mumbled something in a way that sounded like he was telling a secret he was reluctant to.

Elbert: … I personally hate doctors.

Elbert: I know that hating someone for their job title is bad… but still…

Roger: He was extremely wary of me at first. Whenever I examined him, he would tremble like a frightened rabbit.

Elbert: … Sorry.

Roger: Let bygones be bygones.

(Why does he hate doctors…?)

Roger: It appears that the young lady is curious to know why.

Kate: Huh!?

(It’s true that I’m curious, but…)

– Flashback Start –

Elbert: — I will not see a doctor.

– Flashback End –

He knew it was wrong, and he even reflexively rejected seeing a doctor. That showed that the “hatred” came from deep within himself.

It must've been caused by a wound that was left on him in the past.

A wound much deeper than the one he just got on his arm from the knife attack.

Kate: It's true that I’m curious, but… you don't have to tell me.

Kate: … If you ever need someone to talk to, and you’re comfortable enough with me, I’ll gladly be your listening ear.

Elbert: …

Elbert: … Thanks.

…

Elbert: … It was my idea to take you all the way out to the city, and yet all I did was frighten you.

Kate: Don’t say that. It was me who brought us to the park.

Elbert: Shall we go to my secret place now? … It's a quiet place with no one around.

Kate: It’s… my pleasure, but is it really alright?

That place must be very precious to him.

Elbert: It is. If it’s you… I don’t mind.

I was surprised to see his slight smile.

My heart fluttered at the thought that there would come a day when we would share our secrets with each other.

[supernovaa-remnant]

I heard about this Shubble person recently, I stayed out of drama as much as I could but, what happened now??? You even wrote this in one of your tags "#I really did love him a lot (parasocially)". I was busy this week so I don't know what is happening now.

I highly recommend people watch Shubble’s vod on her twitch channel (I don’t have a link but I can’t imagine it’s that difficult to find). Be mindful though as the vod does talk about abuse which is a very triggering topic, so make sure to be taking care of yourself. I’m gonna put the rest of the post under the cut, so people can easily scroll past this if they want to.

As a little summary, Shubble streamed yesterday and talked about her abusive ex. She didn’t name anyone, but she also wasn’t hiding who it was, and contrary to what some people may say, a lot of the dots being connected are stuff we know from past streams and comments from friends and not leaked info.

So, the incredibly most likely case is that it was Wilbur. I’m not gonna get into everything Shelby said because she said it on her stream, but the signs do point to Wilbur, and you’d have to reach significantly further to claim she was talking about someone else. There’s not a lot of British male ccs who have a bigger audience than her who have a history of biting people and have reason to be going on long travels (tour) where they wouldn’t see each other often.

Listen. I was a certified dreambur blog, okay? Everyone who glanced in my direction knew that I was a Wilbur fan. Everyone knows that I loved him so fucking much. But that’s not an excuse to bury my head in the sand and ignore everything, y’know?

Anyway, this is gonna be the last time I talk abt this publicly (I’m sure my friends will hear more in DMs though sorry <3), so I’m gonna throw a bit more stuff here abt my blog going forward.

I will eventually talk abt c!wilbur again. I’m still gonna write my silly little c!dreambur aus, I’ve just put them on the back burner. regardless of cc actions, I genuinely do love so many of the characters on the dsmp. I’ll probably be focused on some other fics for a while, but c!wilbur’s my cat and I don’t think he’s leaving my brain soon. I just need a little time.

I think cc!wilbur is someone who needs help. and I genuinely do hope he gets that help. but having mental health struggles isn’t an excuse. and I just can’t see myself engaging in his content in the foreseeable future. you’re not gonna see me post neg about him. you’re just likely not gonna see me post anything about him at all.

I’m happy to know Shubble has an amazing support system. I’m so sorry she had to go through something so horrible. I’m wishing her nothing but the best, and everyone should check out her YouTube channel!! I haven’t watched her newest video yet, but I did watch Lizzie’s pov of the collab, so I know it’s a fun concept

If people have questions that this post doesn’t answer, then I’m happy to answer them in DMs, but I don’t wanna talk abt this publicly anymore. (I reserve a right to change my mind though if I for some reason feel the need to post abt it again)

Anyway, take care of yourselves. Love is never ever wasted, okay? And all that love belongs to you. And it’s always a good thing to put more love out into the world. Never feel guilty for loving, okay? 🫂

[defaultfelix]

Returning online

My name is Felix Kramer, and I'm the creator of Goodbye Strangers. I haven't been active online for quite some time, and I wanted to address this. There was a major falling out with the former collaborative team, and later on, a public "callout" was made against me. Due to the number of falsehoods in the post against me, I don't feel that it is appropriate to comment on the post in full – and as the circumstances leading to the split were personal and not public, I do not feel comfortable disclosing any information that would violate another person's privacy.

I wanted to specifically comment upon the following two points, however. First, I can confirm my former collaborator's statement that she did not approach me at any time with any of her concerns.

This second point is one that cannot be emphasized enough: I absolutely do not share my former collaborator's interpretation of my work, and fully disavow such a hateful interpretation. If discrimination and hate are the values that you see when you look into my work, you are not my audience. A deliberate theme of the project as a whole is the idea that whether it's because of race, sexuality, gender, body type, mental illness, or something else - every person on earth knows what it feels like to be "left out", or like they don't belong. That is what it means to be a "sensitive", and why members of minority groups are more likely to be able to see the strangers.

I understand that there are people who may have questions or concerns about myself or my actions, and in this regard, anyone is welcome to email me with any questions or concerns. Please consider me an open book, as I am happy to discuss anything that does not violate another person's privacy. I don't plan to give any further statement regarding these individuals, other than to wish them the best.

In terms of what I've been doing the past few years, I will admit that this has been a very, very difficult period for my mental health. My mental state had been gradually worsening prior to the split with the team, and the mass public shaming/ostracism triggered a psychotic break from reality. Recovering has been gradual; this incident was the single most traumatic event I've ever endured, and it has taken countless hours of self-reflection, therapy, and outside support to pick myself back up again. I've talked about my experiences here, and am happy to engage privately with anyone who might benefit from talking further, but otherwise, I would rather look towards the future.

I wanted to end this post with one final note about my mental health and general status. I've been living with psychotic/delusional mental health symptoms for many, many years, and these have had a significant impact on much of my behaviour. Though I've talked to some extent about things like synesthesia and audio hallucinations, the full extent of psychotic states and delusional thought patterns is something that I am only very recently opening up about and addressing more directly.

These symptoms have been a major obstacle in returning online. The voices that I hear are cruel and endlessly critical; the abusive language used in the callout post became a constant internal dialog. In the years following the break from the team, I've drafted countless public statements and responses – and, it has taken this long to be able to 'quiet down' my mind enough to write this without hearing snarling insults and rebuttals to every single line.

I acknowledge that my behaviour prior to the split was erratic, self-destructive, and alienated those close to me. I made poor judgments, my expectations of both myself and others were not realistic, and I was grossly unable to distinguish fantasy from reality. I live with debilitating, lifelong mental illness that includes psychotic and dissociative symptoms. This isn't an 'excuse' for erratic behaviour, and I sincerely apologize to those people made uncomfortable by my actions, or hurt by the fallout of the project, and am happy to answer any further questions via private correspondence.

It will always be an ongoing process to address my mental health challenges and to develop healthier coping mechanisms. This is exactly why I want to do what I can to better live up to my own values of personal responsibility – as well as fight past my own fears in order to share my work with others and contribute my value to the world.

I don't know what the future holds, but I know that I'm not the person I was three years ago – the person I was three years ago would never have been able to write this post.

Thank you so much for reading my words. Please take care of yourself and those around you, and don't ever give up on your dreams.

[ehlnofay]

Dragonborn 💯🎄☕

💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know. ooh Interesting... I don't know that there's a lot about her I haven't shared already. she's not one to keep a lot of secrets. I think most of what may not be known just relates to her origin. and her whole deal. let's talk about that that stuff is weird one: she remembers nothing before the cart ride to helgen. she is not an amnesiac*. the prophecy hadn't begun to pass so she just wasn't there yet two: relatedly, her body may or may not have belonged to someone else before she was there to fill it. it's possible that some poor innocent really was caught and wounded in the army's ambush, that they died at a convenient time, and a new soul stepped in. it is also possible that the body sprung fully formed into being at that identical moment. the dragonborn doesn't know which it is, has never pondered which it is, and finds it entirely irrelevant three: unrelatedly to both, but something I don't think I've talked much about, after fighting and swallowing enough dragons her mortal needs are gradually overridden. by the time of the high hrothgar peace council she doesn't sleep eat or feel cold. this does nothing to make her less offputting to anyone ever

🎄 CHRISTMAS TREE — what is your oc's favorite holiday? honestly I don't think she knows what a holiday is. but she enjoys celebrations (based on her sample size of. at least one) so she probably likes all of them

☕️ HOT BEVERAGE — does your oc prefer coffee, tea, hot chocolate, milk, water, or some other drink? how do they like to take this drink (ex. coffee with milk, hot chocolate with whipped cream, a specific kind of tea, etc)? she'll drink most things that are put in front of her, but only if she's reminded; she won't notice that she's thirsty on her own (and after eating enough dragons, it stops mattering). she likes room temperature water best. she tried an alcoholic beverage once and immediately spat it back into the cup

*anon my gratitude to you is immense because this question triggered a VERY interesting idea and in the middle of typing a response (at the place indicated by the asterisk) I leapt up to find a pencil and make a note of it on my wall. instead of just making a note on the computer I was typing on at the time. why'd I do that. anyway the idea is interesting the implications are immense and it could fit really well so THANK YOU! APPRECIATED! will ponder it posthaste I'll send you some caramel slice or something in the mail in gratitude

[alara-kahya]

"Things end, that's all. Everything ends, and it's always sad. But everything begins again, and that's always happy." - 12th Doctor.

Self Para: Post break-up, 3 days later. Involved: Jayden Cross (deceased), her mom & Kian. Mentions: Nate Donovan & Emiri Tezel. Location/s: Cemetery & her home. Triggers: Death, grief, heartache.

"So, yeah, that's it. Sorry to come and bring bad news, I just... Well, selfishly I guess I thought it would help." Sighing as she sat on the ground in front of Jayden's grave, she tucked her knees into her chest and decided to just wallow for a minute. It was day three since Nate had walked out and aside from this right here, she hadn't told anyone. Not her mom, not even Emiri. What was she supposed to say? "I don't know how to talk about it with anyone else, or maybe I'm just scared to." Yeah, that felt more accurate. Alara had worked so incredibly hard over the years to shape herself into a strong and confident woman, it was difficult for her to show that she was still capable of being hurt. "I know what you'd say, I even know what you'd do, you would hug me and tell me to call my mom. Actually, you'd probably call her yourself. You can't beat a hug from your mom." She chuckles, saying something that Jayden used to say about her mother. Honestly, he was as close to an adopted child as her mom had, it broke her too when he died.

The soft laugh soon turned into a sniffle and before she knew it, she was choking back a sob and desperately wiping at the tears that spilled over her eyes. "How did I let this happen again," she puffed out a breath, still somehow laughing between crying, though it was far from a place of amusement. "I did what you always wanted me to do and I took a chance. Now look at me, right back to square one and you're not even here for me to say it's all your fault." Joking, but the words only made her miserable. "I feel like a fool, I really thought if I just kept patience, he'd find his moment and talk to me. Now I'm wondering if I should have pushed harder? And then I hate myself for thinking this could be my fault, because it isn't, is it? I gave him everything, and it just wasn't enough, how am I supposed to accept that? How can I when I don't understand." Groaning, what she does understand now is why she chose to come here and talk to a headstone over someone who could actually support her. Emotional and manic wasn't her best look, she wanted to try and vent a lot of it out before she turned to her family and friends. "It just hurts, it... yeah, it hurts."

The ache that swirled all around her insides only rippled outwards until it felt like even breathing in was painful. "I'm so lost without you, Jj, I miss you so much. So much." It wasn't fair. A thought that she seemed to be thinking a lot lately. Nothing was ever fair and she couldn't stand it. "You don't know what I'd give to go back, even if it was just to see you one last time." She lost herself when he had died, that much was clear to everyone who loved her, but what a lot of them didn't realize was that she never truly recovered. A part of her was still lost, still trying to claw it's way back but it never would. There was an empty space there in her heart that belonged entirely to her best friend. Sighing, she swiped more tears away and climbed up to her feet, staying crouched as her brown eyes lingered over his name. "Love you. I'll be back in a couple days, I'll bring beer." With a sad smile and a soft hand pressed against the cold stone, she takes a deep breath and turns to leave. Hopefully looking a little less blurry-eyed by the time she got home to greet her mother.

"Hey," calling out as she drops her bag at the door. "Sorry I'm late, work ran over and then I got talking to Jay," a statement that wasn't out the ordinary, it was never unusual for her to visit the cemetery just to keep her lost friend upto date on her life. "That's ok, sweetie. Little man is all tucked up, he's just waiting for a hug," her mom smiles, though she can't help but eye Alara with mild suspicion. "Everything ok?" Hard not to notice bloodshot eyes and tear stained cheeks when they were right in front of you, but it wasn't just that. It was something Kian had told her while they ate dinner. That he heard his mommy crying in the middle of the night. "Yeah, I'll go give him his hug," shying away from her gaze, she knew she couldn't talk about it right now, not while her son was waiting for her.

Making her way up the stairs, she does her best to rub the mascara away and go in his room with a warm greeting. "Hello my beautiful baby. Sorry I missed dinner." Walking over to sit on the end of his bed, her smile actually reaching her eyes just at the sight of him. "That's okay, but nanna made me eat sweetcorn," he pulled a blegh face and shuffled out his covers to envelope his arms around her. An action that had her eyes stinging with a fresh set of tears as she wrapped her arms around him and squeezed. "I didn't tell her sweetcorn is on the no no list now." Chuckling, she kisses at the top of his head, and holds him tight, finding a warm comfort that only he could ever really provide. It almost made her unwilling to tuck him back in, but she did, somehow resisting the urge to just lay down with him. "Mommy?" Innocent eyes peer up at her as she strokes his hair. "Are you sad?"

The question made her heart hurt, she never wanted to be sad in front of him but she should have known, he was always very perceptive. "I'm a little bit sad, yeah. Missing your Uncle Jayden a lot today." It wasn't a lie, and she obviously wasn't going to tell her four-year-old child about her breakup. "It's okay to be sad sometimes, as long as you know how to make yourself happy again, and I do, so don't worry." Nodding, she wasn't sure that part was quite true, not as things stood. "How do you do that?" He asks, making her laugh softly. "Well, I just look at you and all that sadness goes away. You know what I always tell you, I'm the luckiest mommy in the world to have a baby as kind and loving as you. But it's late, so close your eyes and dream nice dreams. I love you." Leaning forward to kiss his head, she waits for him to say it back and gently leaves the room, door ajar just how he liked it.

As soon as he was out of sight, she has her hands pressed over her mouth, silencing the hiccup and quickly making her way to her room. Washing up and getting into her pj's, she's surprised when she sees her mom still here, waiting for her on the sofa. "Now that your baby is settled, let me settle mine..." Patting a hand on the sofa, Alara looks between her and the spot, wary, almost timid. She didn't want to break, but damn, it didn't matter how old she got, a mother's influence was always the instinctive way to run. And so, she grabs a blanket and walks over, settling herself closely by her side, head on her shoulder and arm around her front, allowing her mother to just be there and hold her.

"Jayden was never wrong about this, can't beat one of your hugs." Smiling as she sits up, she doesn't bother to hide the sad defeat in her eyes, instead, she just shrugs. "Nate and I are done. He'd rather spiral than lean on me. I tried, but... It's pretty impossible to fight for someone who doesn't want to be fought for." The corners of her eyes crease as she tries to say it with a calm tone. As soon as she hears her mom say she's sorry, she shakes her head, trying to tell her she didn't really have anything else to say, except maybe... "You know what the worst part is? I never forgot how crap this feels, I broke my own promise never to put myself back in a position where I can be hurt because... I managed to convince myself that this time, it wouldn't end with tears."

And in a gesture to her own, she scoffs a sad half-laugh and tries to swallow the lump in her throat. She appreciates that her mom gives her the time to talk without interrupting, the squeeze on her arm is comforting enough without making her feel crowded. "Maybe I'm just not meant to be in a relationship. Some people aren't, and that's fine. I was happy by myself, I can be that way again." Nodding, "Yeah. It's fine. I'm- I'll be fine." Maybe if she said it enough, she would actually start to believe it. "Alara..." That soft tone of a concerned mother had her sucking in a breath as she shakes her head. "Don't. Please, just don't. I don't need you to say anything." She practically insists, misty brown eyes lifting up to hers only to close with a shaky sigh. "Okay, sweetie. I won't. But you should go get me some pajamas because I'll be staying here tonight." Her mom says, lifting a hand up to Alara's cheek, hoping that she wouldn't protest. Truthfully, she didn't have the energy, and not being alone sounded far better. "Thank you."

[staticscreenwriting]

Love like the movies // Bucky Barnes // 6

SIX - GHOST

Trigger warning: Alcohol, food, mention of sex (nothing graphic and no actual smut)

Masterlist

Summary: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Bucky Barnes, finds himself thrown into a world that seems so different from everything he’s ever known. The girl, (Y/N) knows entirely too much about rom-coms and is quite particular about the way she eats her popcorn. Bucky meets (Y/N) a few months after returning to NYC. He knows almost immediately that becoming her friend is inevitable. This is a story of boy meets girl. This is a story about love. (Bucky Barnes x female!Reader // a few spoilers for TFATWS)

"You held hands?"

"Mmh."

"And then you cuddled."

"We didn't cuddle, I was just kind of - leaning into him. Sort of."

"So you cuddled!"

"Sure. If that's what you wanna call it. We cuddled."

"Then what?" Robin inquires. Smirking at (Y/N) over the rim of her wine glass, like a giddy pre-teen waiting for the kissing scene to come up in a romance movie.

"And nothing. That's it."

"Oh come oooon. You cozied up to each other and then just what - acted like it never happened?"

"Essentially. But that's okay. It's not a big deal. And don't say it like that."

"Like what?" Robin continues to poke and by this point, it's not so much her wanting information than her trying to rile up (Y/N). Though she's very well aware of this, (Y/N) falls for it anyway.

"Cozied up to each other," (Y/N) says and scrunches her nose up in distaste. "Like we had dirty sex or something."

"Do you want to have dirty sex with him? Oh man, imagine what that arm can do."

Holding her hand out to stop her best friend from talking, (Y/N) takes a big gulp of white wine, emptying her glass. This is a conversation that can't be held entirely sober. "First of all, don't say those things about his arm. It's- I don't know. It doesn't sit right with me."

"Sorry yeah that was … not cool" Robin apologizes and by the tone of her voice (Y/N) can tell she means it.

"I'm the first to admit that Bucky is insanely handsome and if things were different, sure. But we're friends and I really enjoy the time spent together and our friendship. I don't wanna do anything to jeopardize it or ruin it by adding unnecessary feelings to it."

"Feelings aren't unnecessary," Robin replies, combing her fingers through her fiery red curls.

"Sometimes they are. The last thing Bucky and I need is broken hearts and ruined friendships."

"What if it doesn't end that way?"

"Relationships never work out well for me, you know that."

Robin places her glass on the countertop. It means whatever talk is gonna follow, it'll be a serious one. There's been very little need for a serious talk between the girls over the time they've been friends but neither of them has ever been afraid to start those conversations and say things as they are. Sometimes that's what friendship is, being blunt even if it's not what your friend wants to hear.

"Look I'm not saying you have to take the relationship to another level. If this is making you happy the way it is, then that's all that matters to me. I just don't want you to give up on something that could be great, because you're scared and because some stupid assholes in the past didn't realize what they had in you."

Where she's only had shit luck with relationships, (Y/N) thinks she's really lucked out in the friend department. Robin is as wonderful as they come. Even if she drives her crazy sometimes.

"They weren't all assholes." (Y/N) chimes up weakly though there's not even enough determination in her voice to convince herself.

"Weren't they? Let's see ...I'm not even gonna talk about Russel. He doesn't count. Who else was there? Pete liked to show you off but he didn't like you. Did he?"

"Not really."

"See? Asshole! Kylie only wanted to be with you so she could be the cool girl who's fucked another girl once and use that as something to brag to the guys about."

"She was figuring herself out."

"She was straight, babe. She was using you and your sexuality as some kind of badge of honor so guys would think she's cool. She only wanted to make out with you at parties and when there were men around to ogle you. I’m the last person to blame anyone for trying to figure out who they are and who they like but that wasn’t the case here. She used you, and what does that make her?"

“ An asshole? “

“ An asshole!”

“ What about Ricky, he wasn’t an asshole! “ (Y/N) chimes in, filling her glass up once more.

“ Okay sure but he was your High School sweetheart and that rarely lasts. I’m not gonna count him. What about Mike —“

“— Okay, you’ve made your point. I have a bad taste in romantic partners, I get it. Doesn’t change anything. Me and Bucky we’re — we’re good as we are. No romance needed.”

“ Just don’t want you to miss out on something great.”

It’s not that the thought has never crossed her mind. In fact, when she’s being really honest to herself, it swirls around her head a lot. When he grants her one of his smiles. The rare ones that make his eyes crinkle. Or when he comes to see her and brings dog treats for Lady, just because he’s that thoughtful. Or when she noticed he put a popcorn and a sun emoji next to her name in his phone. The popcorn, as he said because she liked movies and the sun because she’s always happy and smiling. Or when he held her hand throughout the entire movie. Those are moments when (Y/N) thinks about what it would be like to be more than friends.

“ It’s great as it is now. He’s great.”

“ Then that’s all that matters to me.” Robin smiles. She has one of those smiles that makes you feel at home. Comfortable and soft. Like warm milk with honey a mom makes their child when they can’t sleep.

It’s a while later, when (Y/N) strolls back into the room, another bottle of wine in hand, that a knock sounds on her front door. Her eyes wander to Robin then to the door then back. “I’m not expecting anyone.”

“ Oh, that’s Bucky.” Robin, who’s by now migrated over to (Y/N)’s huge fluffy couch, Lady cuddled onto her lap, says with the most casual of tones (Y/N) has ever heard. As if Bucky and her have been lifelong friends. As if there is nothing strange or peculiar about this situation.

“ How do you know?”

Robin shrugs and goes back to petting Lady’s curly fur. “ He texted you when you were getting the wine. Said he was around and had food. I told him to come join us for movie night. What’s the big deal? “

“ I uh — it’s not I just — you could’ve told me. “

“ That was literally 5 minutes ago babe. I had no time to tell you yet. By the way, this man uses entirely too many emojis.”

A smile pulls on the corners of (Y/N)’s lips. She’s asked him once why he never used any emojis, or smileys as he called them (all of them — even the ones that aren’t faces). He told her he didn’t really understand when to use most of them, like the shrimp or the Hockey stick. (Y/N) told him it’s because they’re fun. Ever since then he uses all kinds of emojis with her. None really relating to his messages. It’s quite endearing if she’s being honest.

“ Are you gonna let him in? “ Robin asks, shaking (Y/N) out of her thoughts.

The smell of Chinese food floods into the apartment as (Y/N) opens her door to Bucky. He looks so effortlessly cool in his leather jacket and boots. With his hair a little longer now, all swoopy and quiffed. Like the bad boy straight from a romance novel. The one with a heart of gold. The one that gets the girl.

(Y/N) is not that girl, the one from the novels, the Hallmark movies. The one that’s quirky but never weird. The one that makes all the boys fall for her. She’s not the main character, at least according to herself. She’s the side character that shows up like twice. The one that helps the main character on their quest to self-discovery or true love. That’s who she is. Not more, not less.

“ I brought food!” Bucky exclaims as he steps inside, waving the bag around before placing it on the kitchen counter, to which Lady jumps up from her position on Robin’s lap.

Lady, (Y/N) has realized a while ago, has somehow fallen head over paws in love with Bucky. Always following him, looking up at him with her big brown puppy eyes. Always looking to be close to him. Maybe, (Y/N) thinks, it’s the treats he always carries around. But maybe it’s Bucky too and his patience and his affection and the way he greets the little dog like she’s the main reason he’s come around.

Moments like this, they come with those little flutters around the heart. People always compare them to butterflies. (Y/N) thinks that’s wrong. Butterflies are gentle, graceful, and soft. This feels like a swarm of bees. Chaotic. Overwhelming. A little bit scary.

“ Man, did you plan on coming here, or did you buy all this for yourself?” Robin asks, eyes wide in surprise at the sheer amount of styrofoam containers Bucky keeps pulling from the bags.

“ I kind of bought it with the intention of sharing, yeah. “

Robin’s eyes meet (Y/N)’s across the room and there's a silent secret there, hidden in her teasing smirk. One shared only with a friend. No words. No sounds. Just the truth and two knowing hearts connecting.

“ Am I intruding? If you guys want me to leave, I can leave. “

While he tries to keep his voice casual, the sad tint doesn’t get lost on (Y/N).

“ Absolutely not, don’t be silly. We’re just drinking wine and watching a movie and you are free to join us in both.”

While he shakes his head at her offer of wine, Bucky helps (Y/N) bring the food over to the couch and plops down in the middle of the couch, Robin to his right and (Y/N) on his left.

“ What are we watching? “ he asks, a dumpling already on the way into his mouth.

“ Well, “ Robin responds filling her glass up once more, “ it was (Y/N)’s turn to chose so —”

“ A rom-com”

“ A rom-com. “

Something about seeing these two interact and joke around inspires a fuzzy feeling to wrap itself around (Y/N)’s heart. Even if they’re making fun of her.

The way Bucky fits in here, as if it’s where he’s always belonged. The way he’s not a stranger imposing but a friend added to the mix. It’s a nice feeling. She hopes he feels it too.

“ Okay, whatever. This isn’t your usual rom-com though, there are ghosts in this one. “

“ Is it ghosts falling in love?” Robin asks and lets her laugh get swallowed by her wine glass.

“ No. Well — uh kinda but not really. They fall in love be — you know what, just start the damn movie! “

There’s an undeniable intimacy in watching your favorite movies with other people. It’s like giving away little pieces of yourself and sharing them with others. No matter how insignificant it may seem to anyone else but you. These are the things that make us who we are. Our passions. For art. For music. For books. For movies. And opening up is always scary. Even if it’s just a teeny tiny bit.

Through the corner of her eye (Y/N) glances at Bucky and Robin, trying to judge their reactions. See if they’re enjoying themselves or not. Bucky displays his ever-present scowl. It’s the default setting. Sometimes she wonders if that has always been the case. If that's just what he looks like or if years of abuse, horror, pain have left their marks on him, on not only his heart but also his face.

Maybe this can be his safe place, she thinks. Maybe she can be. Not someone to fix him, because he’s not broken, just lost. Not to fix but to hold his hand while he heals. Slowly but surely.

For a while, the three sit in comfortable silence. The kind that fills you with this inexplicable calm. Where no words are needed.

And then the beginning chords of unchained melody spill from the tv speakers. It’s a touch there, a kiss here, hands covered in clay. Bodies covered in clay. Gasps and heavy breathing. Hands grasping skin, wandering, loving.

Robin’s presence falls completely to the back of (Y/N)’s mind. Bucky’s however...

“Do you want to have dirty sex with him? “ her friend's words ghost through her head like a particularly annoying jingle for some tv ad. The room feels warm all of a sudden. Not warm — boiling. There’s a heat radiating from her right, from Bucky. So what if he’s attractive. So what if she sometimes lets her mind wander and think about how his hands would feel on her skin or his lips on hers or his — yeah okay you get the point. So what?

Bucky slumps down into the couch a little more with every second of steamy pottery sex that’s fluttering across the tv screen. Is he — nervous? Uncomfortable ? No, she must be imagining it. Projecting, that’s what this is. She’s projecting her own chaotic emotional state onto him. There’s nothing there. (Y/N) has to remind herself. Just secret little thoughts that have to be kept between her and her. As long as no one knows, no one gets hurt. It’s the easy way out. The safe way. The right way.

Right?

“ Sooo, what did you guys think?” (Y/N) asks, turning her body towards her friends and sitting criss-cross on the couch.

“ Didn’t expect all the murder. “ Bucky replies as he takes a sip from his beer. “ And the — “

“ The messy sex! I know.” a visibly intoxicated Robin cuts in.

“ Not where I was going but okay.”

She doesn’t pay his words any attention, instead of launching herself backwards over the arm of the couch, dramatically fanning herself with her perfectly manicured hand. “ I am not going to lie, oh boy that was some hot stuff. Wouldn’t say no to that.”

“Oh please,” (Y/N) chimes in, wine glass clutched in hand and smile on her face. She can clearly feel the alcohol washing through her system bringing her to the place between sober and drunk where everything feels light and your confidence seems to get a little extra boost. “ What do you have to complain about? You’re getting married in two weeks! I’m sure you get enough action as it is. “

Robin doesn’t answer right away, just throws (Y/N) a giddy, boozed-up smile. Though in her eyes, there’s a loved-up glimmer of someone about to marry the love of their life.

“ Yeah, that’s true.”

“See, so you’re not the one that should be complaining. Us, however…”

Her red curls swing around her like a spark of fire as Robin sits up again, pointing her finger at (Y/N).

“ And whose fault is that? You could be getting some if you didn’t get so lost in your romantic fantasies. And him — “ the red-haired girl exclaims before pointing her finger towards Bucky “ don’t even tell me he ain’t getting some. Look at him! Are you sexually active, Bucky? “

“ You don’t have to answer that. Robin, come on.”

“ No, you don’t have to but you should. I’m trying to prove a point. Help me prove a point, Bucky. “

“ You’re making him uncomfortable. “

“ Am I making him uncomfortable or you? “

“ Ooookay, I think it’s time for you to go to bed. “

“ Nooo, we’re having a conversation. “

“ Would you look at that, my drink is empty. I’m just gonna — I’m gonna get another one. Okay? Okay.”

Bucky doesn’t wait for an answer before getting up and rushing out of the living room and into the kitchen, clearly uncomfortable. Clearly embarrassed.

“ See what you did? You scared him off. “

“ I couldn’t scare that man off if I tried. Trust me. “ Robin murmurs, a loud yawn cutting through her argument. There’s a certain determination in her words though. Some truth hidden in there that (Y/N) can’t quite put her finger on. It’s like Robin knows something she doesn’t. And maybe it’s good this way. Maybe she doesn’t need to know.

“ Alright, whatever that’s supposed to mean, Tipsy. I’ll go see what he’s up to. You go the fuck to sleep.”

“ Whatever mom, “ Robin bickers and cuddles closer into the soft couch anyway. “ Oh, don’t forget to invite him! I like him. We’re friends now. “

“ Go to sleep! “ (Y/N) orders again, earning herself a salute from her best friend who starts snoring no more than 2 seconds later.

He feels like a 13-year-old. Actually — no. Things were easier at 13. Situations like this one were easier at 13. Being horny was easier at 13.

It was all new to him then, yes, but it was new for everyone at 13. He’s 106 now, a grown man. He should be able to talk or at least think about these things without turning into a full-blown mess. His hand is clammy, his face is probably the same shade of bright red as Robin’s hair. And by god, his thoughts are a jumbled mess, swirling around all over the place.

Truth be told, he hasn’t had a lot of time to actually think about anything even remotely physical. It was never very high on his list of things to figure out and the opportunity hasn’t really presented itself to him either. Not since the 1940s at least.

Have things changed? Surely not, right? Maybe people got a bit more experimental and for sure they talk more openly about it now but the fundamentals must have stayed the same. He sure hopes so at least.

His thoughts get interrupted as (Y/N) steps into the kitchen. Her eyes are slightly glassed over from the wine though she’s nowhere near as drunk as Robin. She seems happy, then again she always does. For a little moment, he feels jealousy wash over him. About being able to get drunk. It’s damn stupid, he’s well aware. But that doesn’t make his feelings less valid. To just drink and let go and forget, that sounds really nice.

But that’s just one of the things the serum has taken from him. By far not the worst aspect of it all but unpleasant either way.

“ Hey uh — you okay? “ she asks leaning against the kitchen island across from him.

“ Sure. Are you? “

“ I uh — might be a little drunk, “ (Y/N) confesses as she lifts her hand and indicates a tiny space with her fingers.

“ Yeah, I think you might be.” Bucky laughs. Actually laughing comes naturally when she’s around and quite honestly, at first, it made him feel guilty. Guilty about the fact that he got to laugh along with a pretty girl while so many people had to die through his hands.

He tries to push those thoughts away. They aren’t doing anyone any good. Not him and not those people either.

“ Hey, I’m sorry she was making you uncomfortable. She gets — well she has no filter when drunk. Or ever really.”

Bucky shakes his head. His finger nervously trails along the grain of the stone countertop. There are conversations he needs to have, sooner or later, if he wants to live his life. Not just coast along but actually live. But it doesn’t mean those come easy. Not for someone who’s been through all he’s been through. Not for someone who’s grown up the way he has, who’s been raised the way he has.

“ Ah, no. Don’t worry. I uh — I just. It’s been a long time since I had talks like this. “

“ Like what? “

“ Between friends, you know. About — stuff. “

“ About sex? “

“ Mmh. “

“ You don’t have to talk about it with us if you don’t want to. It’s fine. “

“ No, but I do want to talk about sex with you. I mean — not you, you. You both. But not in a weird way. I mean — with friends. “

“ Okay. “

“ It’s just that I was raised in different times and the last time I had a real actual friend that I talked to about intimate things was so long ago. Steve and I talked about everything and even then there used to be reservations. One because I don’t think Steve really wanted details and two because Steve wasn’t — he didn’t have the most experience when it came to women so it was a very one-sided conversation. And I’ve never talked about any of this with a girl. It’s all new to me but I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you. “

(Y/N) regards him with a glimmer of amusement and mischief in her eyes as she munches away on some cold leftover spring rolls.

“ You don’t have to justify yourself to me, Buck. I know you trust me, I hope you know I trust you. “

He does. And he doesn’t hate how it sounds when she calls him Buck.

“ So, Robin and Charlie are getting married in two weeks. I was wondering if you’d like to be my plus one. Back when they announced it I was under the impression Russel and I would be a thing by then but uh — clearly that didn’t happen. It’s in upstate New York. We’re all gonna stay at this gorgeous Inn and well there’s a spot open if you want it.”

“ As a plus one? “

No matter how much he wants to deny it to himself, his heart does a little flutter as she says those words. A plus one sounds like something. He’s not sure what but something, surely.

“ Yeah, as a friend, obviously. “

“ Obviously. “

There goes the flutter.

“ Robin is okay with it by the way. She explicitly told me to ask you.”

“ So Robin wants me there, not you. “

“ No! I want you there! I love spending time with you. Also, Robin’s family is crazy. I need you by my side. I need you there. I want you there. “

“The need to be needed is an individual’s sense of significance rooted in the sense of being part of a community or cause beyond themselves. The need to be needed is one of our fundamental desires. We want to feel significant in the eyes of others, even if it is only one other person. “

Bucky has read those words in one of the many magazines stacked on the little side table in the waiting room of Dr. Raynor's office. They didn’t really make much sense to him then. He always thought he’d be fine by himself.

In that moment he realizes that was all a big pile of absolute bullshit.

The feeling of being wanted, of being needed, even if it’s just one person that needs him, that means everything.

“ Okay, I’ll come. “

“ Yeah? “

And there it is again, the smile that reminds him of the sun. The smile that he’s sure could bring a thousand men to their knees, including himself.

“ Cool. I’m — I’m really happy about that. “

“ Mmh. Me too. “

For a moment they just look at each other, words unspoken swirling in the air between them, neither brave enough to let them slip from their tongue.

It’s not until a particularly loud snore coming from the living room pops the bubble and breaks the spell.

Both of them fall into giggles before Bucky speaks up again.

“ It's late I should probably go. “

“ Yeah and I should go to bed. I’ll have a hangover tomorrow for sure.”

Bucky slips into his leather jacket and places a soft kiss goodbye on Lady’s head before turning back to (Y/N).

“ For the record, I’m not getting any. “

“ I uh — okay. Good. Well not good, “ (Y/N) stumbles over her words “ not good for you. Good for me. I mean. Not that I don’t want you to have sex. But I mean, Robin was taking the piss, and if I don’t get laid it makes me feel better to know you aren’t either. Oh god, this sounds horrible. I’m just gonna stop talking now. “

Bucky smiles the brightest smile she’s ever seen him smile, it almost breaks his face in two. And even though she wants the ground to swallow her whole right then, if it puts a smile like that on his face, she’ll gratefully embarrass herself again.

“ Have a good night, (Y/N). “

“ You too, Bucky”

And with a kiss to her head, he leaves the flat, a smile staying on his lips the entire way home.

“ Why did I have to come again? This is a bachelorette party, I thought men aren’t allowed. “ Bucky grumbles as (Y/N) parks her truck in the parking lot of the convenience store. The pink and blue neon lights reflect on the wet asphalt.

“ It’s a shared party. We’re all friends so it makes sense for the couple to celebrate together. Stop moaning. “ (Y/N) exclaims as her heels create a click-clack sound.

The store is empty as they enter except for the bored-looking teenager leaning against the counter by the cash register.

There’s something about empty stores at night that makes it feel like time stands still. Like for a moment, reality is altered. There’s only you and the outdated music coming from the speakers and the hum of the refrigerators holding the soda cans.

“ I can’t believe Hannah forgot to bake the cake. It’s all she had to do. I did everything else, everything. She had one job. “

Bucky’s learned by now to just let her rant about this topic. It’s all she’s talked about for the last hours since Hannah, public enemy number one that day, has called her to inform her she’s forgotten about the cake. Why there needs to be a cake at this party, Bucky doesn’t know but hey, who is he to question it.

(Y/N) walks straight over to the counter that holds the bakery items only to be met with disappointment.

“ Well great. We can choose between one single cupcake, a box of stale donuts, and a croissant. “

“ What about this one? “ Bucky asks and points towards a bright pink cake decorated with candy roses and white icing.

“ It says Happy Birthday. “

“ Ah, don’t worry we can fix that.”

(Y/N) raises her eyebrows in doubt. “ You sure? “

“ 100%. Trust me. “

She regards him for a moment, uncertainty shining through, before granting him a little smile and a nod. “ Okay then. You get the cake, I’ll be over there for a second. “

Looking through the fridges, (Y/N)’s eyes fall onto a pack of popsicles in the shape of Captain America’s shield.

Ripping open the fridge door she calls out “ Hey Grumpy, would you like thes— “

All she hears is a smack and then Bucky’s voice exclaiming a loud “Fuck!”

And in that moment she doesn’t know what’s more shocking, the fact that she just slammed the door right into his face or hearing him swear.

“ Are you okay? I’m so sorry. “

“ I’ll be fine.”

“ We gotta put ice on it. “

“ No (Y/N) I — “

She’s already on her way to get a pack of frozen peas. And if Bucky is being real honest, his cheek does hurt quite a bit. Super Soldier Serum and all …

“ I am genuinely so sorry. “

Bucky sits on the bed of (Y/N)’s truck, frozen peas pressed to his face and a chuckle falling from his lips as (Y/N) sends yet another apology his way.

“ It’s okay, (Y/N). I told you, I’m fine. “

He pulls the peas away from his face and places them next to him, before picking up the cake and lifting the plastic lid off of the container.

“ Alright, let’s see if I can fix this. “

“ You have a bruise on your cheek. “

Bucky looks up at her with those gorgeous blue eyes of his, that (Y/N) sometimes finds herself drowning in. Calm and story all at once. Like oceans.

“ Does it make me look rough and handsome? “

“ You’re always handsome. But yes, it gives you a roguish charm. “

“ Good. “

(Y/N) feels a heat rush to her face as Bucky focuses back on the cake.

“ Mmmkay. Let me see. What if we — “ Bucky murmurs, more to himself than to (Y/N). He swipes his finger, sans glove, over the white icing letters and while there’s a good intention there, when he lifts his finger back up the cake looks like a downright mess.

“ Ta-da “ he exclaims and turns the cake towards her.

“ It says Happy day now “

“ Is it not a happy day? “ Bucky asks, eyebrows raised in question.

“ Let me rephrase that. It says ‘Happy messy white stain Day’ “

Bucky pulls his lips into a grimace, eyes wandering from (Y/N) down to the cake and back to her. “ Yeah, we can’t bring that “.

Laughter fills the air as they regard the sad mess of a cake before them. If this was a movie, (Y/N) thinks, this would be their moment. The one where they realize. The one that feels like time stops and all that matters is them.

Something wet and sticky against her cheek pulls her from her daydream.

“ What the hell? “

Bucky only grins at her. There’s the boyish charm again. It’s so insanely endearing to see these little moments flare up and push through the perpetual gloom he seems to carry with him. He doesn't hold the weight of 90 years of fighting on his shoulders right then.

“ Oh you didn’t “

Before Bucky can react she grabs a handful of the cake and smashes it against the uninjured side of his face.

“ Is that how you wanna play it? Okay. Fine. “

Cake flies through the air as their laughter rings through the night. Not a thought wasted on pain, on worries, on heartbreak.

The rooftop bar (Y/N) booked specifically for this night is covered in fairy lights and glitter decor. There’s a karaoke machine in one corner and an open bar in the other.

A loud cheer sounds from the crowd as Robin steps out into the open, fingers intertwined with those of a petite brunette with big square glasses sitting on her nose.

They get swallowed by a tidal wave of people, pulled from one hug into another, and while his eyes stay with them, Bucky feels a touch against his metal arm. (Y/N) wraps herself around him leans her head against his shoulder and stares lovingly at the couple before them.

“ I’m so glad she’s happy. I love her so much. “

“ She loves you too. “ he says.

And really how could anyone not?

A little while later, when the crowd has allowed them to breathe again, Robin and the brunette wander towards Bucky and (Y/N), matching smiles on their faces.

“ Buck, this is Charlie, Robin’s fiancee. Charlie, this is my friend Bucky. “

“ It’s so nice to meet you,” Charlie exclaims, a strong English accent dripping from her words. “ What in the world happened to your face? Are you okay? “

While Bucky smirks, (Y/N) flinches at those words and shrinks into herself a little.

“ Oh you know, funny story. Someone here was a little too excited about some red white and blue popsicles. “

Robin lets out a loud laugh “ Now that sounds like someone I know very well. “

“ They were shaped like Cap’s shield, okay. I thought it was funny and fitting. “

Charlie’s eyes move between the 3, a look of confusion settling on her features.

“ Why fitting? “

“ Oh babe, let me catch you up,” Robin says and steers Charlie in the direction of the bar.

The night flies by and for the first time in so long, Bucky doesn’t feel out of place. Not for a single moment. Even being surrounded by people he doesn’t know and while listening to music he doesn’t get. It’s nice, feeling like you belong.

Robin and Charlie have just finished their karaoke rendition of Don’t Stop Believing when a familiar voice echoes from the speakers.

“ Hello guys, my name is (Y/N). You may know me, I’m the maid of honor. I am responsible for this party — you’re welcome. Anyway, I guess it’s my turn to sing tonight but I can’t do this one alone. I’m gonna require my friend, Mr. James Buchanan Barnes up on this very stage with me. “

Oh no. Definitely no. Not in a million years. No w—

“ Because this one’s a duett. “

Her eyes meet his across the way, shining with amusement, mischief, affection. Even across the dimly lit roof, her sunshine smile seems to light up the entire night.

“ I’m not doing it, “ Bucky says and shakes his head as Robin slides up to his side.

“ C’moooon. “

“ Nope. I probably don’t even know the song. “

It’s like the universe wants to make a fool of him as in just that moment Bill Medley’s voice sounds through the night.

“ I know you know this song. “ Robin says and nudges his side “ come on don’t make her do this by herself. “

“ I — “ he looks at (Y/N) again, with her sunshine smile and those expressive eyes and the buttercream stain on her shirt. And he doesn’t see fear or pain or regret. All he ever sees when he looks at her is happiness and fun and laughter.

“ Ugh. Okay. Alright. “

Cheers follow him as he steps on stage and (Y/N) hands him the second mic. Though it’s supposed to be a duett, (Y/N) doesn’t really care and sings both parts with unfiltered joy and unapologetic passion. And while it takes a moment for him to warm up to it, Bucky can’t help but let her enthusiasm light a spark in him too and by the time the pre-chorus hits he joins her in singing their hearts out.

“ You're the one thing I can't get enough of. So I'll tell you something. This could be looooooove “

New York comes alive with the promise of a better tomorrow. One where Bucky feels like he belongs. To a place or a group of friends or a person. A tomorrow where he can laugh with a pretty girl, have food fights in a parking lot, and sing some silly song at the top of his lungs.

Maybe the song isn’t all wrong. Maybe he’s having the time of his life. And maybe, just maybe, he owes it to (Y/N).

Taglist // if you want to be added or taken off just message me :) //:

@zaynyierulez - @je-like-you - @dracoxxyoflam - @jackiehollanderr - @majo240820 - @kay-gilles -@booksb4looksstuff - @jckie94 - @charmed-asylum - @shawnie--jo - @yllwtaxi - @tailsoflightning - @giuliarogers - @mangoogirl - @gerim-1995 - @elen-alambil - @threeminutesoflife - @writeroutoftime - @buckybarn3s - @rosaline-black - @kenziekugler22 - @vghz82

[khaleesiofalicante]

Trigger warning: so if you don't feel like answering this or don't have the energy. That's alright of you don't.

I've been holding this in for months now and I don't want to tell anyone or burden anyone, (here I am doing it though). but I relapsed back into my suicidal thoughts, and I'm so angry because I was getting better, and now I'm back to staying for other people and not myself. And I'm so tired of living with it, I think 2020 and 2021 brought it back on, and I'm just tired of living with these thoughts every day. My depression and OCD have gotten bad again too, and I'm just tired of feeling this way.

I can't confide in my friends because they have issues of their own and I don't want to burden them. and my family will flip and want to send me back to a kind of suicide prevention place for a week like last time when I attempted. I'm not there, just have the thoughts, but they'll flip. And I don't want to go back there, I don't.

So I've been holding it in for so many months, and lately all I can think is "I hope I don't wake up." or "I hope something happens to me."

And it sucks because I was getting better, and then more shit in my life happened, and I just want a break, and I usually go to fandom for that but all that does is upset me now as well, and I feel isolated, and like I don't really belong even though I seem to fit in so perfectly (even in fandom). Sometimes it feels like no one really thinks there's a possibility that i'm not okay, because i seem so fine and sure of myself. And people tell me I'm so strong but I'm tired of always being so strong, I want to not have to be strong anymore. But then I see people call suicide shameful and a disgrace, and I feel pathetic for the thoughtas. And the time I attempted it, and survived, people called me crazy, and I don't want to be called crazy again, I'm already a big enough fuck up in my family lmao.

I'm sorry for bothering you, and I hope I didn't trigger you or anything. I got a sudden burst of will to finally reach out and say something to someone lol. And I just needed to vent and get it out.

Hello love,

Thank you for reaching out. I'm so proud of you for talking about this. It couldn't have been easy.

I'm sorry that people have responded to your struggles with no empathy or kindness in the past. I hope you know it says more about them than it does about you. While you might believe you need to become stronger, sometimes strength means nothing if the world around you doesn't become kinder. So, try not to think of yourself as the problem - because you're not.

You don't have to take my advice, but I would strongly recommend that you talk to your parents about how you are feeling right now. You might not be in the edge as you say, but you don't always have to wait till the last possible moment. Sometimes, acting early can be really helpful. If you don't want to go back to that camp for any reason, then please do look into other options. Are there any other camps or centers that can support you? Share these options with your parents and ask for their help.

You are never, ever a burden for asking for help. I think if it was the other way around...If one of your friends was struggling and needed your help and reached out to you, I think you would help them. I don't think think you would see them as a burden. So, have the same faith in those who love you too.

Sometimes I feel like I hope I don't wake the next day too. Those days are the worst - and are so scary. At times like that, I remind myself of all the little things I would miss in my future. I would never get to see whether I look foxy when my hair starts to gray. I would never get to the be the cool wine aunt who is also the gay aunt. I never get to know what happens in the end of the shadowhunter chronicles - that last one is particularly terrifying to me. This is an exercise that helps me. I hope it helps you too - at least in the moment.

You shouldn't protect yourself out of fear or shame or judgement. Don't do it for those around you. Do it for yourself. Being strong can be really, really tiring. I feel you. I really do. So, it's okay to take a break - as long you remember to pick yourself up.

I know one thing for sure.

You are not weak. You are not crazy. You are not a fuck up.

I bet the people who said those things don't have half the courage or resilience you have right now.

And another thing.

You are a fighter. You went to the camp and came back stronger. You got better, remember? That was all you. If you did once, you can do it again.

I know you feel like giving up, but the fact that you reached and talk about this shows that you want to keep fight.

There is a part of you that wants to keep fighting - hold on to that.

These last two years took so much from us. We are not going to let it take you away too. You are staying right fucking here.

You belong on this hell site. You belong to this world. You belong to yourself.

I know you are looking for strength. But at this time, you need love and support too - now more an ever.

Reach out. Ask for help. There is nothing shameful about it. You are fighting for yourself and your future - that is an inspiring and beautiful thing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I'm always here (anon or not) if you want to talk about anything at all - even to discuss what the future would look and what we would miss if we didn't give ourselves the chance to see it.

(ps - This includes a free opportunity to discuss all possible theories about what happens to Magnus Bane in the future - if you don't know who that is then holy shit you have so much to learn so don't give up!!!!)

I hope you feel a little better after reaching out. I hope it encourages you to reach out to more - to me or anyone else.

All my love, Dani x.

[whack-ed]

TIMELESS (INTERACTIVE HP & HOO CROSSOVER)

Synopsis: Alex finds Hecate's notebook and discovers about the wizarding world and about Y/n.

Paring: In the beginning it's platonic!fred & george x reader, but I promise that in the end it is fred x reader.

Warnings: None, I guess.

Reader: Slytherin!Female

Word count: 1.9k

A/N: In this chapter, Y/n appears little, but it is extremely important.

September 2010, New York - USA

Alexa would be lying if she said she didn’t cry like a baby when she saw Argo II return to Camp Half-Blood. She had been forbidden to help in the battle against the giants, but she was nevertheless not full at Camp. After the near invasion of Camp Jupiter and Reyna's visit, things got messed up there.

But the best part of the return of the other demigods was seeing Percy again. He looked extremely exhausted, but happy to be back in one piece. Alex hugged him for so long that Percy almost fell asleep in her arms.

The boy was welcomed with all the frenzy he deserved, entitled to a hearty banquet and a visit from his father, along with a very tearful Sally and a relieved Paul. Tyson had been absolutely thrilled to see his older brother talking to his friends by the fire, which glowed high and yellow, mirroring the emotion of the half-bloods.

Despite being as happy as the others, and maybe even more so, Alex retired a little earlier that night. She didn't walk long before her absence was noticed.

‘Mingling with the shadows? I thought this was my own thing.” The girl smiled at Nico di Angelo, who walked over to her with his hands in the pockets of his aviator jacket, which was still too big for him.

“I'm going to sleep, Nico.” She explained, continuing her way to Cabin 3. “It was a day full of emotions, I'm tired.”

Nico nodded, walking beside her. Alex always found it fun to be the same size as Nico, but now she realized that he was a few inches taller than she was.

“Are you okay?” she asked, bringing up the subject.

“I think so.” Nico replied, looking surprised by his own conclusion. “Maybe things get better for me from now on.

“I'm sure it will.” Alexa opened an encouraging smile. Because he was the son of Hades, Nico suffered more than all the other demigods, which worried the girl. She hadn't seen him since the war of the Titans, but she talked to Percy during her mission and discovered things she didn't want to discover.

She looked at Nico. For the first time in his life, his face looked serene, as if his problems were gone. Alex realized that it would be better not to go into details about the problems he went through. She did not want to end his joy.

“Di Angelo!” someone called, running up to them. Alex turned to find Will Solace smiling like a ray of sunshine. “Hi Alex!”

“Will.” She smiled. When looking at Nico, she noticed a pink tint on his cheeks and held her laugh. “Can you take care of Nico for me? I need to go to sleep but he doesn't want to leave.”

Will smiled, realizing what she meant. Nico looked at her with anger and indignation, but he didn't seem against the idea.

“Certainly.” The blonde took a step forward. “Have a good night!”

“You too.” She raised an eyebrow at Nico and walked back to her cabin.

She was still smiling when she passed Hecate's cabin, which looked darker than ever. Her smile wilted. She had always been a little afraid of the goddess's children since she found herself a half-blood and moved to camp. But that night, something seemed comforting in the hideous darkness of the cabin. Unable to contain the impulse that occurred to her, Alexa went up on the porch and went through the open door. None of the goddess's children were there, they were probably still at the stake celebrating, they always loved a good party.

Alexa didn't know exactly what she expected to find inside, but she certainly wasn't ready for what she saw. She had never entered the cabin since she had never been invited and it didn't feel right to enter without an invitation like she did now. But what she found was an absolute void. No bunk beds, bathroom, closet or chest. Nothing for the basic comfort of teenagers. All that was inside was a torch on the floor with a brown leather-bound notebook beside it.

“Take it” A whisper said, and Alex knelt down to better analyze the notebook.

“Who...?” She started the question, but knew at the time that she had no need to finish it. Hecate was there. “Are you hiding in the shadows?”

There was a harsh laugh, but Alex couldn't tell where it came from. It was as if the goddess moved in every particle of air around her.

“I heard that Poseidon's children were mocking, but seeing that feat face to face is much more fun. Ares definitely didn't say enough about it.”

“I don't think he has any reason to boast about it.” She commented, but her body was tense. Something about the goddess made her feel that bad things would happen any second.

“Take the notebook.” She asked, seeming to feel the girl's tension. “Take it and bring my girl back.”

“What does that mean?” Alex asked, but never got an answer.

After several minutes, she finally let herself be overcome by curiosity, put the notebook under her arm and ran out of the cabin.

Alexa spent a few days without touching the notebook, which was comfortably resting on the small table in her cabin. Percy asked several times what the notebook was and why Alex didn't move it, but the girl always answered the same thing. "It's just a silly notebook." She was afraid to open it and end up triggering something she couldn't control.

Percy and the others had just returned from a massacre battle with irreparable losses, she didn't want to leave anyone alarmed by something as stupid as a leather notebook.

Alex tried to distract herself. She would swim in the lake, duel with Percy in the arena, ask Tyson to teach her something in the forges, help Chiron with pending camp, talk about the biggest zucchinis with Rachel, encourage Annabeth to talk nonstop about architecture, sometimes make her repeat everything he had said in Greek, but nothing seemed to get her thoughts out of the notebook. Instead of being distracted, she got some scars from the duels, burns from the forges and throbbing ears, but nothing erased the notebook.

Tired of trying, Alex returned to the cabin and spent several minutes looking at the problem. She would get up a few times, making a move to pick it up, but soon she would go back to sitting on bed. When she finally thought she would be brave enough to end the trip, someone knocked on the door.

Changing her course, Alex opened the door to the blond, smug figure.

Alexa and Apollo had spent a lot of time together a few months before, not that any of them had a chance to do the opposite. He had helped her save the Camp when everyone seemed too busy saving the world. Now she was no longer able to get rid of the sun god, who suddenly appeared in her cabin. At least now he had learned to knock on the door before entering.

“Good afternoon, beautiful lady.” He smiled, breaking into the cottage before Alex had a chance to expel him. “What do you do locked in that cabin?”

“Apollo, seriously, now is not the best time.”

“Every hour is the best time for Apollo!” He smiled at her and Alex found herself unable to say no to him. The god had that effect on her, but she couldn't explain why. She just went back to bed and sighed.

“What happened, Sunshine?” he asked, now more serious.

Alexa pointed to the notebook, like a child pointing out the bully who was mistreating her. Pausing to think, it was almost the same.

Apollo's gaze followed Alexa's finger until it stopped at the Hecate symbol on the cover of the notebook, and he froze.

“What's it?”

“That notebook.” He got up and picked up it, playing with it in his hands. “I saw Hecate with another of his once many years ago. I asked her what they were, but she cast a spell on me that prevented me from speaking for two months. Where did you find it?”

“I found him at her cabin.” The girl admitted, unable to lie to the closest friend she had at the camp until that moment. “I heard Hecate ask me to take him away. I didn't understand what she expects me to do.”

“Write.” He suggested, after long minutes of silence.

“I’m sorry?” Alex looked at him, confused. “What if something bad happens, Apollo? I don't know if I want to find out.”

The god smiled gently, taking the book to the girl and handing it over, along with a blue ballpoint pen. Alexa hesitated for a few seconds before picking up the pen and opening the notebook. But she didn't do much more than that, as the words “Owned by (your initials) ” they magically appeared on the first leaf, in a strange black ink.

Alex looked at Apollo for help, but he just shrugged and encouraged her to write something below. "(your initials)? This notebook is mine, and my name has none of those letters!”

Before she had a chance to tell Apollo how ridiculous it was, the notebook replied.

Y: "Who are you?"

A: “Alexa Pearson, you?”

Y: "Y/n Y/L/N"

A: “How the hell am I talking to you through my notebook? Where you are from?"

Y: “England. I'm a student at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, how about you? What school of magic do you belong to? ”

A: "I'm not going to any magic school, I'm from New York, there's no such thing here!"

Y: "I thought the United States school of magic was Ilvermorny"

A: "I am not a witch!"

Y: "Oh by Merlin, are you a muggle?"

A: "Look, I may not be a witch but you don't have to curse me!"

Y: “Muggle is a term for non-wizards ... But if you are not a witch, how can you talk to me? This notebook is bewitched, only those who have contact with magic could see it ”

A: "I didn't know that the notebook was enchanted until now ... I didn't even know about the existence of a school of magic, wizards, yes, now schools? No, things are very different here"

Y: "Different how?"

A: "I am a camper at Camp Half-Blood"

Y: "And what would that be?"

A: "A camp for demigods of course!"

Alexa waited, but nothing else happened. She looked up at Apollo, who looked as upset as she was.

“School of Magic and Witchcraft of... Hogwarts?” She asked, hoping that Apollo would say something to her.

“I've heard of that school. Hecate loves to talk about how she has an entire chain of schools that teach children to do what she does. She is very proud of it.” He explained, taking the notebook from Alex and examining the last conversation. “I just didn't think it was real at all. All the gods think it's Hecate's invention, but no one has ever tried to prove it.”

“Well, I think we just did that.” Alex joked, but was far from feeling the fun of the situation, because, there in front of her, there was a problem. Perhaps a much bigger problem than she imagined.

tagging mutuals: @nebulablakemurphy ​​ @jamilelucato ​​ @inglourious-imagines ​​​​ @clarissaxpearce ​​ @beiahadid ​ @idontknowwhatthisisfam ​ @kpopgirlbtssvt ​ @shinydragoness @snitches-at-dawn @freddieweasleyswife

[howdoyousleep3]

The Walker fic is killing me! I love that the collar got brought out cause honestly that's one of my biggest kinks. But (please don't be insulted/upset by this, it's a personal thing) I need to check Buck's 100% okay with it all? He seemed so uncomfortable with Walker just being there/not having any warning. Plus Steve thought about it for a week, but didn't tell Bucky til Walker's there, and it felt like that changed how safe the consent conversation was (ran out of space, sorry for this) 1/2

2/2 (Hi, checking SSC again, sorry again!) I'm honestly really freaked out by how strange it made me feel. I've never experienced stuff like that which could trigger me (afaik, I know sometimes it takes time to realise), so I'm confused & kinda scared. Also I'm so so sorry for putting this on you, it's not your job to counsel me. And I don't want this to affect you. These were prob a bad idea so pls ignore/delete if it's too much bc I've always loved your work & you, and I'd hate to upset u 😘💛

Hi! I hope you don’t mind but I’ve gotten a bit of feedback that is along these same lines and I would like to only address it once, but I also want to make sure I answer your Ask.

I’d like to first thank you for your thoughtfulness in you sharing your feelings about a story I have written. I can sense that this might have taken a lot for you to share with me and I don’t want you to feel bad in anyway for coming to me. It seems to me that you read something that was new to you and that you are trying to interpret and self-reflect and that’s great and necessary. I appreciate you acknowledging that you’ve never experienced something like this and that it is not my job to counsel you because, and this is my second and more general response to the feedback as a whole—

I should not have to apologize.

And I know reading that without my personal tone and just through text can be incredibly abrasive and that it’s unavoidable, but I hope by the end of my explanation you (anyone and everyone, not just you, Nonnie) can understand why I feel this way.

Bucky is okay. Steve is okay. Together, in this fic and in this moment, they are more thank okay. This is an incredibly well-established relationship that I have worked so hard to create and build up to the fullest extent as a writer. This is not a random one-off and this does not belong to a pairing that is outside of this tiny world I have created. I have shown everyone how Steve and Bucky’s relationship works and how healthy it is and was hoping that would be kept in mind as this story was read.

Yes, Steve showing up with August Walker was startling for Bucky and yes, Steve did wait and keep something from Bucky for the week leading up to this night. I stand by that decision. Steve knew that if he told Bucky the week before, he would absolutely freak the fuck out and worry himself sick over the consuming what-if thoughts. Steve made an informed decision as a Daddy, as a Dom, and as a boyfriend. He knows Bucky and he used that information to protect and keep Bucky safe. Also, any introduction to a kink is going to be startling. The same thing happened when Bucky was spanked for the first time and when Steve was much rougher with him one night and when Bucky climbed on top for the first time.

All of those instances were talked through no matter what, either before or during and definitely after, and they were sprung on Bucky in the moment. We know Steve. We know how important communication is for him and how much he cares for Bucky. I feel like that was expressed here well. We know Bucky. We know he would have his hesitancies, as expressed, and we know he is a strong individual who trusts Steve and would have absolutely no issue with saying no to Steve for any reason.

I am aware this content is very different than anything I have ever written and that this particular kink exploration comes with literally someone else in the room, but I do not, in any fashion, think this fic deserves a Dub Con tag as it has been requested.

Steve and Bucky have their own process to introducing something such as this into their lives. They know and trust and love one another in ways they cannot even comprehend sometimes. Steve was incredibly clear when he spoke to Bucky and supported him physically and verbally during their discussion. He gave Bucky complete control over the entire night. He gave Bucky a way out at any time if he needs it. There is a tiny bit more of this discussion in front of Walker in the next chapter that might help and make readers feel more comfortable.

As the person who has created this tiny world with these two specific characters and as the person who knows them better than anyone else, everything that is transpiring in this fic is safe for them, and that is why I will not be apologizing for what I have written. This is maybe the second time I have ever put my foot down and taken ownership for my characters and said, as the writer, that certain things would and would not happen with these two. I love creating this world and building it up with all of you! But there are some things that just don’t fit into this world in my brain as the author and dub con is absolutely not one of them.

Now, Nonnie! Don’t apologize or think this is a bad idea! It is so important for your voice to be heard and I think this might have been good for you in processing everything that you’ve read and thinking about how you reacted. I appreciate the feedback no matter what and you are not the only person who has felt this way after reading this chapter update. I want to explicitly state that this response is not directed towards you specifically in any way expect for that top bit. Please do not take the burden of this response and rest it on your shoulders in any way or feel bad. I am proud of you for reaching out and letting me know how you feel.

I hope this clears things up for any and every person who reads this fic and I hope my thought process was clear enough to understand. I am still very excited to share the rest of this fic with everyone and welcome all feedback! Love you always!