#does anybody understand my pain here?

[artofket]

Bad Batch Tumblr... Specifically the Crosshair enjoyers and tolerators...

I'm staring at my cards of him in Star Wars Card Trader by Topps (you should play it) as I often do because I am pathetically in love with him.

Do you see this? Do you see the collar of his body glove in perspective to the lip of his chest armor? DO YOU SEE THIS? He started out skinny, but his trauma made him skinnier??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THE MONTHS ON TANTISS-

His armor is already adapted to fit his thinner than average form. This is most noticeable at the thigh plates, he literally has another layer of plating under the regular stuff. AND THEN his imperial armor has a freaking strap on his belt to hold it up? I-

I am mentally unwell about him and may cry about it.

[syluss-slut]

•°•°•Safe Embrace°•°•

Summary: your uterus pulls a fuck you by starting your period early even if you just had one two weeks ago, but your 6'2 boyfie is here to cuddle the pain away.

Pairings: Sylus×Reader ⚡

Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, mention of period pain.

A/n: yearning is at an all-time high rn. LIKEYOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I NEED THIS MAN SO BAD HNSGBFBSHDNBHSN

You walked towards sylus's room in heavy steps. You were even surprised your body could hold on for that long.

Your period took you by surprise, coming back again after not even two weeks. Beauty of womanhood, isn't it? You spoiled your favourite pajama pants because of that and on top of all this, it was a heavy flow. In the middle of a productive week. Could it get any worse?

You knocked on his bedroom door, sylus taking not even a second knock to open it for you. As soon as the door opened, you managed to take one step in and collapsed right after. (Un)surprisingly, you didn't hit the floor, but rather found yourself in sylus' safe embrace, as he caught you just in time.

As he brought you to the bed, you silently start weeping in his chest. Tears run down your face due to the pain you were in.

Alarmed, "what's wrong, kitten?" Sylus enquires, a soft look in his eyes, concern in his voice.

Somehow, it made you cry even more. Your period hormones were driving you crazy.

He sits down on the bed, with you in his arms and now on his lap. One of his hand is on your back, soothing you and the other holds up your chin.

"Talk to me. What is it, sweetie?" He asks, a gentle tone in his voice that you've rarely ever heard him use with anybody other than you.

"Menses" you replied, in a feeble voice through tears.

"You poor thing" sylus thinks to himself.

"Let me get you some painkillers" he says, laying you down. You grab the sleeve of his gray sweater just as he walked out of your reach, making him turn around.

"Stay with me. Please" you croaked.

Wordlessly, sylus slips under the sheets beside you, engulfing you in a hug, making you the smaller spoon.

His large hand is in your hair, massaging slowly, lulling you into sleep.

"Thank you" your voice comes out muffled as you snuggled further into his chest.

With the feeling of being in a safe embrace and under warm sheets, you finally dose off to sleep, the last thing you remember being sylus' lips as he pressed a soft kiss on your forehead.

•°•°•°(⁠っ⁠˘⁠з⁠(⁠˘⁠⌣⁠˘⁠ ⁠)•°•°•°•

When your eyes open, you don't know how much time has passed, but the first thing you acknowledge is the sheets beside you being empty; however they were still warm.

Sylus must have gotten up not so long ago.

Almost as if summoned by your thoughts, you turn to the doorway upon hearing something, and see sylus holding a tray of food.

Your heart melts at his sweet gesture.

"Here. Eat it all and don't forget your meds" he says, placing the tray on your lap.

You decide this isn't enough, "I'm weak all over, feed them to me?" You request, looking at sylus' face to read his expression.

You hear him chuckle, followed by a nod. He picks up the spoon and does as you asked.

The outcome? A few drops of soup spilled on your lap and some of it around your mouth. You smiled at how much effort he was putting into this, which turned into a giggle, which escalated into full-on laughter.

You notice the corner of his lips turn up ever so slightly, and you don't let it slip.

Never in a hundred years did sylus ever see himself taking care of someone, let alone make them feel so safe as to be vulnerable around him. Truly, you changed his life, for the better.

You wiped your mouth clean and didnt forget the painkillers, obviously.

"Rest. I called you in sick for tomorrow" Fuck. You felt like crying again. How can this man perceive himself as 'evil' or whatever the society labels him as? He's just a sensitive soul forced to harden up.

"You know my heart never truly rests without you beside me" you confess, Patting the space beside you, lifting the comforter for him to slip into.

You lay down, and so does he. The soft moonlight in the now dim room fell on his flawless face, it somehow made him look even prettier.

Silver light on his silver hair. You couldn't possibly resist the urge to pet his fluffy hair and so you did.

"Hmm. Keep doing that" Sylus purrs.

You hug him closer, and he rests his chin on the top of your head. Both of you drifting off to sleep once again.

Who would've thought, the feared leader of onichynus, who could have no trouble putting a bullet through one's head, be so vulnerable in his woman's arm?

[luveline]

Hey Jade! I was wondering if you could do some Derek Morgan comfort?! Maybe reader who deals with headaches/migraines?

Hope you're having a nice day/night!!💛

thanks lovely, you too!

You're pinching the bridge of your nose pointlessly when Derek and Spencer arrive that morning. 

“D'you guys do a coffee run?” you ask, surprised to see them come in at the same time. 

“We did!” Spencer says, putting a paper cup down in front of you. “I got you a donut, too.” 

“Thanks, honey,” you say, rubbing the hot spot between your brows to no results. Spencer smiles, pleased, and sits at his desk with the bag of donuts to start a napkin dissemination. 

You wrap your hand around the coffee and let it warm your fingers. 

“You okay?” Derek asks. His brows are pinched upwards at the starts but otherwise furrowed. “You don't look happy.” 

“I have a headache,” you admit. Talking is twice as hard with the pain pulsing behind your eyes; you slur. 

“What?” 

What does he mean, what? You look up from the desk in confusion, but he isn't confused like you, he's borderline upset. “It's not that bad,” you say. 

“It looks pretty bad where I'm standing.” 

Derek grabs the back of your chair and turns you toward him, his expression a mirror of your own discontent. He's wearing a short-sleeved shirt that in any other circumstance would draw your attention, and the badge clipped to his shirt is wonky. 

You're in pain, but you like him. You care about him in the weird way that makes you want to make him breakfast and tie his shoelaces. He is not a man that needs coddling, but you can't restrain yourself, reaching for his pocket to right his badge. 

He laughs quietly. “You're squinting.” 

“Pain's in my eyes.” 

“Sweetheart.” He takes your face in one hand and turns it down, away from the harsh office lights. “You're impossible to understand.” 

You laugh but wince when a flame of pain sparks anew. “I think it's travelling. It's in my brain.” 

“That's your second best feature.” 

“Don't make me laugh,” you plead. 

Morgan gives your cheek a rub with his thumb before pulling away. He takes the few steps to his desk and opens the drawer, pulling out a familiar pair of sleek black Ray-ban shades. “Here. Try these on for size,” he says, opening the arms wide. 

You close your eyes, but there's no need. Derek's extremely careful pushing them over your ears and up your nose. 

“Too sunny in here?” Kate asks, bemused as she skirts past with her mug of tea, her baby bump nudging the back of your chair. 

“Poor girl's not feeling good,” Derek answers for you. 

“Poor girl thought you felt sorry for her,” you say, staring at him through the grey lense of his shades. They're immediately helpful. You won't tell him that, though. 

“I pity anybody stupid enough to feel sorry for you, sweetheart.” He hesitates for no more than a second, dropping his hand onto the stretch of your shoulder blade gently. “You take anything for it? Aspirin?” 

“I did,” —your voice wobbles of its own accord, the instability that comes with a pain that has no clear end in sight— “but it hasn't kicked in yet.” 

He rubs your back, pressing his cheek briefly to your forehead in a side-armed hug. “Let me get you a glass of water.” 

“Morgan?” you ask, catching his arm. He waits. “Kiss it better?” 

You say it because you know he'll crack a smile. It's not nice seeing him so worried, and your headache genuinely feels a little better when he laughs. “Don't start with me. I'll do it. You know I will, beautiful.” 

You sink back into your seat and push his sunglasses up. “I'll be here.” 

He leaves to get you a glass of water. While you're waiting, Spencer passes you your donut, which you pick apart and chew on feebly. Distracted, a warm, chaste kiss is pressed to your cheek as a familiar hand places a glass of water in front of you. 

Derek wiggles his eyebrows at you, asking, “Better?” 

“I'm telling Penelope.” You wince as you turn on your monitor. “In a bit. Just as soon as this screen gets less bright.” 

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 7 part 6

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

we've reached the final card, and you all know what - or who - that is

she was falling. she will fall.

here's the scene we were supposed to get at the beginning, Lilia falling through the mud. we get it at the end to form yet another perfect circle. look how green the light and the leaves are. we are in the dominion of the Green Witch.

just your old pal rio checking if you survived the fall, nbd

after all the time she's spent courting you! you really know how to break a girl's heart, lilia

she is the Destination baybeeeee

I need to check, does she bring that orchid to all the souls she reaps or is that reserved for her favorite people?

and agatha is the one who places the last card, who places Death over the Queen of Cups and seals her fate. billy is going to feel guilty about lilia and alice and sharon, but I do believe that if someone needs to be blamed, that is definitely agatha.

lilia's coven.

it should be a moment of triumph. the music and lilia's face tell a different story.

jen who's usually so sarcastic. her heart has cracked open for lilia.

ummmmmm, hey, agatha? sooo about that wife of yours?

yeah that's actually a pretty difficult subject for me so I'm gonna crack the usual joke instead. any takers? no? you guys? anybody wanna laugh?

I love the green light behind her. lilia's yellow is gone, it truly is rio's dominion now.

lilia's last words to agatha. she has grabbed her arm without hesitation, she knows what agatha did, and she has seen the most hidden part of her soul, the three swords in her heart. and in her last moments, lilia has accepted her in the coven, in the family. agatha would rather not understand it.

she looks at billy with all the love and pride in the world. billy has put her through the grinder, like he did with jen and alice and especially agatha, and lilia has raised to the occasion and then some. it's like she's saying, that's alright, baby, I can take it. you screwed up but I made things right again, because that's my job. we protect our children and we protect our own.

this is the same jen who pushed lilia out of the way in episode three to get to the exit first. I wonder what bright future Lilia has seen for the high priestess?

lilia has struggled with being a witch her whole life, she's had to come to terms with a lot of trauma and pain and self hatred. look how she's glowing now. she reclaimed her identity, and not because billy made her. she fought and she suffered and she achieved something incredible. she did it with her family, and she did it on her own. the beautiful paradox of self actualization.

LIKE I JUST DID. the power she exudes. the self-assurance. and the slightest hint of shaking in her voice, because she is emotional, but she's keeping it at bay. she is in control.

and I'll repeat it until the day I die, THE WAY PATTI USES HER VOICE. her monologues are just... god tier. she is god.

LIKE THE TOWER. UPRIGHT.

WE ARE FLIPPING THAT CARD. FUCK YES WE ARE.

god yes. hit me with the beautiful slow-mo. is there a term for being emotionally horny because that's what I'm feeling right now

have I finished ranting about how good patti lupone is? fuck no I motherfucking haven't. because sometimes I see people going, 'that was great but whatever, it's patti, of course it was.' NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. WE ARE NOT TAKING THIS WOMAN FOR GRANTED, NOT EVEN FOR A SECOND. THAT IS NOT WHAT LILIA HAS TAUGHT US. it's NOT "whatever she's patti." lilia is phenomenal BECAUSE she is patti lupone. this seventy fucking five year old woman has walked on set and graced us with the best MCU character (AND the best death. COMPLETELY humiliated RDJ) BECAUSE she is the best at her craft. because she has spat blood and tears on stage for fifty fucking years, eight shows a week. because she's the first evita and the first fantine, I can't even comprehend how fucking cool that is. one day people sitting at the barbican theater in west end heard 'I dreamed a dream' for the first time, and this motherfucker in a blonde wig was singing it. it's like hanging out with a group of friends except one of them is michelangelo. what she can do with her face, with her voice, with her body language is a monumental achievement that can't be celebrated enough. she has taken a good script and elevated it to the stars, and has done it in a stupid glinda costume. she needs all the praise, all of it.

okay. NOW I'm done. just needed to put it out there. I love you, broadway goddess patti lupone.

(kudos to the costume designers, set designers, make up artists, camera operators, directors AND to the writing team though. INCREDIBLE job, you guys.)

and the final paradox: death is the end, but life and nature are a circle. and so, let us begin!

go to episode 8 part 1

[hiddenzev]

Second Confession: Part 1

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Chapter Summary: Already having a crush on Joel for a year now, she was asked to be his patrol partner.

Chapter Warnings - Angst, One-sided love, Unrequited Love, Idiots in Love, a hint of fluff

WC: 1.6k

series masterlist . AO3

A/N: This is my first time committing to write a complete series of a fic. Also my first time posting it on tumblr so i'm still navigating and figuring things out. I love reading unrequited love with a happy ending stories so this has been living in my head rent free for awhile. I speak broken English most of the time (singlish iykyk) so there might be errors in my writing here and there, sorry bout that. Idk if anyone is gonna read this but if you do, i hope you enjoy it. This is prolly gonna be a 5 part series so the next few chapters will be longer than this.

Knock, Knock, Knock

You finish up washing your hands in the sink before shouting over your shoulders, “Coming!”

You dried your hands before making your way to the front door. You quickly put on your coat before opening the door and finding Tommy leaning against your porch with his hands in his front pockets.

“Good morning!” he say with a smile, “Ready to go?” he asks, turning his body to gesture them to walk out front. You nod your head and turn to lock your door. Both of you walk out and make your way to the cafeteria for breakfast as usual.

The cafeteria is filled with people in the morning. After getting your food, both of you made your way to the table in the corner with Maria, Ellie and Joel already seated eating their food. As you get closer, Tommy went to Maria’s side and bent down to kiss her on the cheek before sitting beside her. You sit down beside Ellie and gave your greetings to the group.

“Good morning,” you greet them.

“Morning.” Ellie greeted back with mouthful of food still in her mouth.

You get a nod from Maria as she looks up at you while eating her food. Maria has been nice to you from the moment you got to Jackson. Even though she can be strict and tough at times, that is what makes you admire her. You, on the other hand, are reserved and laid back. You are not a leader but more of a follower. That’s why you respect her a lot because of what she’s doing for the community.

It’s been 3 years since you arrived in Jackson, tattered with the remnants of the past and  the pain within you. It was difficult to adjust to the community at first but the couple currently sitting in front of you embraced you into the community with open arms without any judgement. They taught you everything that you need to know about Jackson and since then, you have been living here without much difficulties.

Unlike Maria, Joel does not even acknowledge your presence and keep on eating his breakfast with a frown on his face. You wonder if you will get to be the receiver of his smile one day. You had seen him smile a couple of times while talking to Tommy and you want to see his smile more often.

However, Joel is someone who distances himself from everybody else and has a tough exterior. People in Jackson find him intimidating and stay as far away as possible from him, scared to agitate and make him angry. He’s always tensed around everyone except the ones that he consider his people like Tommy and Ellie.

Joel and Ellie came to Jackson a year ago to find Tommy and that was when you saw him letting his guard down for the first time when embracing his brother in the middle of the town. After that, he had returned back in his shell refusing to open up to anybody. In the beginning, you tried to come up to him and strike a conversation but he always reply with one word answer or silence or a glare that can burn through your skull. You understand that after everything that happened to this world, it’s tough to live with optimism and hope like before.

Ever since he arrived, he had caught your eye. With his rugged appearance, tic in his jaw every now and then, a face that doesn’t show you a hint of happiness and you still can’t take your eyes of him when he’s around. You don’t know why you seek to look or ask about him when he’s not around. You have been harbouring this feeling towards him for a year now. It’s starting to bubble up on the surface and you’re afraid that you can’t contain it anymore.

You shake those thoughts away and start to dig in your food. Breakfast is filled with Ellie telling everybody on the table about things that she learned in school and asking us about life before the outbreak. Tommy and Maria answer her questions and Joel scoffs at what she said sometimes. You watch her talk about life before the outbreak with wonder in her eyes and you can’t help but smile at her. She brings up the feeling of serenity in you when you see the curiosity in her eyes.

Seeing the world through a kid’s eye is something that we adults cannot afford to do anymore. You are caught up in what Ellie is saying that you don’t realise that Joel, who is sitting on the other side of Ellie, is looking at you. You stare in each other’s eyes for a few seconds before he look away and go back to finishing his food.

“How are you feeling today?” Maria ask you.

“I’m good,” you answer, tearing your eyes away from Joel.

“Do you mind covering Tim on patrols next week?” Joel looks up hearing this. Tim is Joel’s patrol partner. They’ve been partners for almost a month now. Apparently, Tim and Joel don’t get along well. I mean, no one gets along well with Joel. Anyone that got assigned to be his partner always backed out after a few weeks. They cannot find anyone that can handle him except for Tommy. For awhile, Tommy was his partner but they cannot let him stick with him all the time as they needed Tommy’s help somewhere else sometimes.

You look at Joel to gauge his reaction. His stern look towards Maria is not breaking.

“Yeah I don’t mind.” You turn your head to look at the couple. Tommy is giving you an apologetic look knowing Joel is difficult to work with. He look at Joel who has turn his eyes away from Maria and now towards him.

“Joel, please. We don’t have anyone else.” Tommy says with a begging look on his face. Joel stares at him without saying anything.

“Oh come on man, is it so difficult to not be mean?” Ellie breaks the silence. Joel frown at her as she continues to speak.

“She’s my friend and she’s nice,” her eyes widen to emphasise her words.

“I don’t want you to infect her with your ‘old man attitude’,” she air quote annoyingly, making Joel to soften his eyes a little bit.

“Besides, she’s the only one that can stand you and your grumpiness.” Joel look at her confused. You are confused too by what she said. What does she mean by that? Tommy and Maria exchange glances before Maria speaks again.

“If everyone is ok with it, I’ll see you at the gates for patrol next week.” She looks at everyone for confirmation before stopping to look at you. You give her a nod before she stands up to start her day. Everybody quietly leaves before you are left with Ellie alone who still has a little bit of food to finish.

You timidly ask her about what she meant earlier, “Ellie, what do you mean when you said I’m the only one that can stand him and his grumpiness?”

Ellie looks at you with a mischievous glint in her eyes. She smirks and continue to eat her food not answering your question.

“Ellie!” you urge her to answer you.

She just laugh at you and stands up to return her tray. You are left alone being confused.

Feeling a little bit sluggish from the day, you make yourself a nice hot tea and make your way to your front porch. You sit down on your chair, immersing yourself in the calm stillness of the night. You have always enjoy the nights in Jackson more than the daytime. 

As you are relaxing, what happened earlier today, creeps up in your mind. The way Joel was looking at you makes your heart beat faster. What was he thinking while looking at you like that? Also, what did Ellie meant when she said that I’m the only one that can stand him and his grumpiness? You did not spend a lot of time with him alone for her to think that way.

You are perplexed on joining him on patrols, knowing the fact that a lot of people had a tough time with him. You cannot back out from it now and you are taking this opportunity to get to know him better.

While you are in thinking about Joel, you hear the strumming of a guitar nearby. It must be him. Joel lives adjacent to your house and you know that he plays the guitar some nights thinking no one is around to hear him play. You are not able to see him play because he plays the guitar at his back porch all the time. You did get to see him play once when he was back facing you, sitting at the edge of his porch, taking in the sunset. You had thought it was a beautiful view even though he wasn’t facing you.

You did not tell anyone about your feelings for him but you think that maybe Tommy has caught on to it. Sometimes he caught you looking at his brother and he would give you a mischievous smirk.

You have been wanting to tell Joel about your feelings that you’ve kept for about a year now. You also know that it is a risk as he will probably react badly to it. You do not expect him to accept it. You are doing it mostly for yourself. Call it selfish or whatever but you think it’s better to let those feelings out and move on with your life without keeping a secret that will only eat you from the inside.

Having a crush for a year is a long time and you think that it won’t progress any further so you’d rather do it fearlessly with no regrets. With a determination to confess , you let yourself listen to him playing the guitar for awhile more before calling it a night.

next part

[defire]

As an abuse survivor, you are just fetishizing child abuse. Plain and simple. Call it a coping mechanism or a power take-back all you want, but it's just an excuse to write porn about child abuse. I pity people like you, truly, I do. I can only pray that you eventually see a therapist about your internalized pedo behavior.

Cw: RANCID ask ⬆️

I'm so glad you brought this up because I don't like to speak for people like you--I'd rather combat these opinions directly.

Since you're praying, I'll feel free to make biblical allusions. (Tw)

First, the word "fetish". My opinion: I don't find fetishes or porn too helpful for processing trauma--it's more like exposure therapy. At some point you do need to actually grieve and process what happened. I don't judge those who do that (you're not hurting anybody♥️), but that's not what Survivor Fiction is for.

When you're judging whether something is bad or good, you can use the "tree by its fruits" concept. Basically, if a tree produces good fruit, it's a good tree. If it produces bad fruit, it's a diseased/bad tree.

So let's look at what Survivor Fiction does for survivors specifically.

It brings healing. I (a new author!) have already received five testimonies that have said how much my writing helped them move through some of their trauma and see things in a different, calmer way.

Survivor Fiction brings peace. A surprising amount of the community--90.5% in a poll involving 1,543 voters--use whump stories to go to sleep at night. (Many trauma survivors have difficulty sleeping from flashbacks. Fiction along the same lines can offer an appropriate sense of distance from the fear.)

It helps disabled people. It appears that a strong majority of our community is autistic. Part of the diagnosis is emotional dysregulation. We need to be walked through how to do things in great detail. Survivor Fiction often walks the reader through the process of trauma, reaction, ptsd, and recovery.

It spreads awareness. Survivor fiction is often more accurate to real-life abusive situations instead of glossing it over--in other words, LYING--about what goes on. This can bring a 3rd party perspective to a current victim too, giving them the understanding that they are being abused and need to escape if possible.

For a more thorough explanation of why fiction about survivors is good and necessary, see this post.

Okay, so would "bad fruit" look like? Do you see any of the following from our community? ↙️

Doing these things in real life

Being generally hurtful of others

Hurting children in real life

Harming emotions by pushing unwanted content to people who would be triggered by it? (Quite the opposite, we tend to post exhaustive content warnings before the content.)

Something else that's actually wrong and not just a thought crime?

And here's the fruit of your words, which I'm sure we all heard the jist of many times before:

You encourage covering up evil. Trying to hide fiction that more accurately describes pain, abuse, and PTSD means hiding the truth. Stifling the exposure of just how evil it is to abuse someone like this. The righteous walk in the light, but the wicked hide their deeds in the darkness.

Your words are shaming. Shame causes pain to fester and act out in harmful ways, such as repeating abuse cycles, self-harm, and dangerous overreactions. Christian ideology here--shame is what caused Adam and Eve to hide from God.

You are lying. You implied that we harm people in real life without any reason to think so. And also implied that we want to be in the aggressor's position. Generally speaking we identify most with the victim.

Referencing Christianity here, if you're christian--Your words condemn the Bible. The bible is full of stories much darker than most of what is written here. You'll read about rape, and the cannibalism of one's own children in Lamentations, among other things.

You're hurting yourself. You will be judged with the measure you judge others with. This is because if you judge others harshly for their thoughts, you'll instinctively judge yourself just as harshly. You end up hurting yourself and others over something that wasn't even doing any harm in the first place.

Causing confusion. What you said was illogical. If it's fiction where the damage occurs, we should be blaming the fictional aggressor--not the writer reporting it. If it's reality where the damage occurs, we should be blaming real criminals--not the journalist. The truth is that writing about survivors isn't generally harmful.

In short, you're creating a lot of problems and not helping. Did this ask come from a loving place?

This answer I'm giving, does.

[crownmemes]

Questioning Sentences, Vol. 31

(Questioning sentences from various sources to ask all kinds of muses. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"Haven't you seen enough blood for one night?"

"They told you I was crazy, didn't they?"

"You don't think very much of me, do you?"

"Do you want the truth or a lie?"

"You're only going to work for me. Nobody else, do you understand?"

"You have no idea how the real world works, do you?"

"Do you think two people can be perfect for each other?"

"How was I ever supposed to figure all of this out?"

"Was I in some kind of accident?"

"How do you tell a good cop from a bad cop?"

"When exactly was the last time you actually met a normal person?"

"Does anybody care what I think?"

"When was the last time your father told you he loved you?"

"Shouldn't innocent until proven guilty be a thing with all of us?"

"What would you know about where I'm from?"

"You've been following me since I arrived, haven't you?"

"Do you remember the last time you were happy?"

"Hey, you're that guy, aren't you?"

"You don't care about your family's legacy?"

"I don't understand. What do you mean you're here to say goodbye?"

"You really don't care what happens to me in there tonight, do you?"

"Are you sure you don't want to see a doctor?"

"Is that a real gun? Can I touch it?"

"Do you think the FBI will ever give me a gun?"

"What if they find you first? What then?"

"Why did you do it? Betray your country?"

"The people I work with are loyal to the end. Can you say the same?"

"You used to be a cop?"

"Have you come to make me a martyr?"

"Oh my god, you're going to be a real pain in my ass, aren't you?"

"Why does this ever simple concept continue to elude you?"

"How did she get out of those cuffs?"

"Has anyone ever told you that you have lovely hands?"

"This isn't the part where you kiss me, is it?"

"I heard you were looking for me?"

"I thought you had a way with women?"

"I'm sorry, were you thinking about me in the bath?"

"Focus on the words I'm actually saying, okay?"

"Do you think if I were more like you, he would have loved me more? If I was normal?"

"Shouldn't you be resting?"

"So, have you got a boyfriend, or...?"

"No killing today, alright?"

"Are you willing to make a bargain?"

"How do you live like this?"

"I don't trust any of them. Do you?"

"So, you two are friends now?"

[rhemaji]

Lil rant abt Caine

Caine is just a lil guy, despite it all. From a design standpoint I thought I was gonna absolutely fucking hate looking at him because those chattering teeth toys make my skin crawl- but the art direction really helps make him look more appealing and whimsical than a disembodied pair of talking dentures sounds on paper.

The thing with Caine is I didn't initially like him that much after the pilot. While his interactions with Bubble were quite funny, that one episode left me feeling like he'd just end up being kinda one note or at the very least one note in a way that'd get on my nerves. Then everything changed when Pomni Wake Up Time to Go On an Adventure! attacked

The comedic timing throughout that announcement video was so fucking funny and thanks to his line deliveries and animation/model [?] upgrades- CAINE LOOKED AND SOUNDED SO ADORABLE!!

Legit it wasn't until this came out that I realized I actually could be on board with Caine as a character and it's been uphill from there. Episode 2 was better than the pilot not only comedically and visually but also in terms of showcasing just how actually unsettling Caine can be as an antagonist. Not because he's vengeful or malicious, but because he's so oblivious to how people work. His mind's always buzzing with terrible ideas and he's so so eager about these adventures, but at the end of the day he really really doesn't get the circus crew. Try as he might to include them, keep them engaged [ZOOBLE WAIT!], or even give them what they want [Exit doors] he doesn't realize how traumatic and distressing their current situation can be. The very nature of being trapped in a digital world is bad enough but it's especially rough here bc not only does its god have limited capabilities, you also are very well acquainted with him, and he can't fully understand your pain nor can he truly save you from it. He won't mourn your abstraction. He will not attend your funeral. He will not understand the distress of your arrival, nor the weight of your departure.

This isn't just sad from the pov of the circus gang, it's also very sad for Caine- not because i think he'll ever feel sad about it himself necessarily, but instead because the situation is sad. New members appear over and over, you craft adventures and games and distractions like [i'm assuming] they'd asked you to, but over and over, one by one, they abstract. They stop laughing at your jokes. They don't like you. They want you to leave them alone. It's confusing and maybe even inconvenient.

Where I'm hoping the series takes Caine is that this dissonance between Caine's intentions and the distress of the circus gang gets worse and worse and worse until something's got to give. I'm hoping that maybe at some point a character will try to sit down and talk with him and for it to either sorta get through to him but completely backfire in some form because he misinterprets what the others want from him OR i'd also be down for him to listen, but not understand any of it and proceed as tho nothing happened. I don't want Caine to come around really, it'd be interesting to see how Goose would go about having him come around to being a better host that empathizes more with humans, but personally I do prefer him to keep on keepin' on being this oblivious and eager antagonist.

My favorite Caine lines/line deliveries so far:

"You, my friend, stumbled into an incredible world of wonders, where anything can happen!…e-except for swearing."

"And here we have THE GROUNDS! Drown yourself in the digital lake, or engage in ridery at the digital carnival!"

"What do you think of XDDCC? You're right, terrible, LET'S TRY THAT AGAIN!"

"Kaufmo abstracted? Why didn't anybody tell me?"

"Bubble you can't say that"

"-ZOOBLE WAIT!"

"Why are you all just standing there?! The- The Canyon- C-Candy Canyon Kingdom needs you now!" [according to his VA, this was an actual line flub but hoo boy am i glad they use it bc it's hilarious]

"I know you guys love your NPCs, but if I start losing track of who's a human and who's an NPC, who knows...what. could. happen..."

That last line there specifically surprised me the most because up until he said that I was under the impression Caine was linked to every single NPC. I even thought he could see through their eyes if he so chose thanks to his "hundreds of all seeing eyes" line in the pilot. Him saying this here implies lots of things. Has Caine forgotten before? Is someone in the circus secretly an NPC ooooooooh~

"Who knows what could happen..."

Honestly, when Caine first said this I did immediately theorize Jax as being an NPC but now that it's been *checks calendar* three months since I watched episode 2, I don't think this is the case anymore. Jax being an NPC would be...something. Jax not knowing he's an NPC would be interesting [i like it when ppl's realities get shattered], but honestly I think this line was a way to telegraph to the audience that no Caine isn't actually all knowing. He didn't know Gummigoo was coming through that portal until he saw him with his own two eyes. My theory is that Caine is only able to teleport, create, censor, transform, and destroy the world around him, but isn't able to see all of it at once unless he tries to. I think Caine's default state is one where he only knows what he sees directly in front of him/what he himself has left waiting for someone else. And rather than implying someone in the gang is an NPC, I think that line in episode 2 was mainly implying Caine can be tricked, that it's possible to hide something from him, to surprise him even. Though I'm not opposed to an NPC we haven't met trying to join under the guise of being human, it'd potentially create some fun tension assuming the audience was given enough reason to care about them.

Jax is actually my favorite character in tadc, but i couldn't fill an entire post with things to say abt him. Caine seems to be- at least as of right now- the easiest of all the characters to try and wrap my head around. I'll probably have a lot more to say about Jax as he exists in canon as the episodes come out [EPISODE 6 MY BELOVED]

but uhhhh yeah, that's all the things i had to say abt Caine. Pls go watch/listen to the fansong Digital Land bye!

[xoxostiles]

𝑯𝒀𝑷𝑵𝑶𝑻𝑰𝑪 - 𝙯𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙖 𝙙𝙖𝙮

╭┉┉┅┄┄•◦ೋ•◦❥•◦ೋ

𝑽𝑶𝑰𝑫!𝑺𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒙 𝑭𝒆𝒎!𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

•◦ೋ•◦❥•◦ೋ•┈┄┄┅┉╯

| 𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈: 𝑴𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏, 𝑨𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒕, 𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒔𝒎𝒖𝒕, 𝑴𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆, 𝑨𝒃𝒖𝒔𝒆, 𝑺𝒆𝒙𝒖𝒂𝒍 𝑨𝒃𝒖𝒔𝒆. |

☆𖣔𖧷⁂☆

|𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: 𝑺𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒏 , 𝑽𝒐𝒊𝒅 𝒙 𝒚𝒏 |

☆𖣔𖧷⁂☆

——————————— ☆ ———————————

Pain.

That’s all i’m ever in is pain.

My head is pounding and I feel as if i’m intoxicated with a drug.

Feeling so 𝙝𝙮𝙥𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙘 all the time.

There’s nothing left to live for I should’ve killed myself when I had the chance.

I mean, I want to kill myself.

But he won’t let that happen, he has me trapped under his finger like prey.

It’s simple really.

I am his mouse he’s the cat, I don’t choose how this game ends.

He does.

Void.

He choose me, and won’t let go. It all started when Stiles showed up to my window at night telling me how bad he wanted me.

How bad he wanted my body.

Confused and alone I gave it to him, I mean I had been pinning over this boy since 8th grade if he wants me I would be so happy to give myself to him.

Memories of his picking me up hold me against the wall with my legs against waist as he holds my hands over my head sucking on my neck.

My head getting thrown back in pleasure. “S-stiles.” I moaned with nothing but electric waves going through my head.

Giving him my body and letting him take my virginity.

Man’s oh man was he good.

After I passed out, woke up and found out it was never Stiles but some creppy fox that was weirdly obsessed with me.

He tricked me. Or as he said “saved me”

convincing me to help him. My dumb horny body didn’t understand then what he was asking but I agreed and all I want now is death.

“YOU PROMISED ME!” I scream at my boyfriend.

“Y-you promised.” I say again breaking down to my knees leaning against the wall crying. No. Sobbing, tears pouring out of my eyes.

“No, you don’t even like her, Dove.” He says crouching in front of me petting the top of my head playing with my hair.

“NO YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDNT KILL ANYBODY THAT I KNEW. YOU FUCKING LIED!” I scaredly screamed at him standing up.

He grabbed my body throwing me again the walk grabbing my hair and throwing me harder against the floor before smacking me across the face.

I look at him and I start crying even more. “Y-y-you p-promised you wouldn’t do that anymore either.” I say crying holding my cheek

“baby, you know I didn’t mean to.” he says hold my face pushing the hair behind my ear.

“But you know you can’t yell at me like that little mouse. You know where you stand, and it is not that high.” He says helping me up.

“I’m I’m sorry.” I say quietly.

God save me, someone get me out of here I can’t take it everyday is a constant, Screaming, abuse, then ‘make up sex’.

I wanna go home.

I want my old Stiles back.

He grabs my hips gently pushing them against the wall before cupping my face and kissing me harshly his chapped lips against mine feel so cold almost as cold as his heart.

Before I know he grabs my legs putting me up against his waist my back still against the wall as he sucks at my neck groaning into the feeling.

I know what I’m doing is wrong and I know Stiles probably hates me. But I can’t leave.

No matter how hard I try, I’m stuck and i feel like a useless whore.

Letting this man take my virginity then finding out he’s evil and choosing to go with him.

Now i’m stuck getting abused and getting hurt.

He doesn’t care about me.

My Stiles would never do this.

My stiles probably wants me dead by now.

It’s been two weeks since i’ve been taken and I don’t think the pack cares about me enough to come and find me. After all I’m just a useless human.

-

Void’s sucking on my neck before carrying me over to the bed where he gets on top of me, sucking my neck again then whispering in my ear. “Your mine none will ever love you. Baby your all mine for entirety. Tears weld in my eyes at the thought of being trapped forever.

He’s leaving hickeys all over my body.

This is all my fault.

There’s no escape.

He fucked me as I cried so hard I passed out. , I woke up in the middle of the night looking around the hotel room to see Void sleeping right next to me. I look at him and notice a phone in the hallway outside of are door.

This could be it.

I quickly get out of bed being as quiet as a mouse, I notice that Void starts stirring and I go faster.

Thankfully I make it in the hallway without him waking.

I grab the phone a dial Stiles number.

The phone rings a few times.

“Hello?” a groggy voice appears.

It’s Stiles’s.

Tears weld in my eyes at his voice, “Hello?” He says again. “Stiles.” I say breathlessly as a few tears fall down my cheek. “Y/N?” “Y/n is that yoy? Where are you? Are you safe?” “Scott! It’s y/n!” I hear him yell to scott assuming he’s probably at his house. “I-I I need help Stiles.” I whisper as I cry softly.

“Baby where are you? Are you with void? Are you safe, c’mon tell me where you are and I’ll be there as fast as possible.”

“I’m at a hotel I think I don’t kn-“

I say before screaming as a hand covers my mouth. “You fucking whore.” Void says as he grabs me by my hair dragging me into the hotel room.

Where He continues to beat the shit out of me.

“What did I tell you about trust dove, I TOLD YOU THAT YOU WERE MINE YOUR NEVER LEAVING ME!” He screamed as tears poured down my face.

A black eye appearing under my left eye.

“S-stop imm sorry.” I cry as he countines to scream at me calling me horrible names.

Just as he’s about to hit me again we hear sirens.

Police Sirens, as well as Scott’s voice. Then I feel something sharp jab into my stomach.

Looking down seeing a blade go straight into me.

Before I know it I’m passed out again.

Hopefully dead.

-

I slowly stir awake as I hear a soft beeping next to me.

I begin to wake up more as I hear doctors and people talking next to me.

As my eyes open I look next to me to see Stiles, my hand in his as he strokes it slowly whispering words to me. Tears in his eyes.

“S-stiles?”

“It’s me baby, your safe.”

“I’m so sorry Stikes it’s all my fault I never should have agreed to help him. I’m such a horrible person I’m so sorry and It’s okay if you never forgive me and hate me for the rest of my life just know i’m so so sorry.” I cry to him

“Baby, I could never hate you. None of this is your fault here manipulated you. But it’s okay It’s over now. He’s gone and he can’t hurt you anymore.” Stikes says as he pressed a kiss to my temple.

“Stiles I- I love yo-“ I attempt to say before he gently presses his lips into mine my heart melting at the feeling of his warm soft lips.

“Y/n I’ve been inlove with you since 8th grade and now that I almost lost you I know how horrible it would’ve been, will you be my girlfriend?” he asks still stroking my hand.

“Of course I will. I love you.”

“I love you more baby.” He says before gently kissing me again.

-

( This came out horrible but I needed to post soooooooo ya. I have good fanfics coming this week trust there pretty good. I have some more void content and Stiles plus a little mitch rapp coming out shortly, Also i’m starting two of my story’s soo it should be fun lmaoo)

Anywho xoxo Layla

[miffysrambles]

Hi! I have a request, but feel free not to write it!^^

I also dont know if you have already wrote something like this so sorry if you have! But could you possibly, mayhaps, do a Macaque and Wukong (Separate) x reader where it's THAT time of the month for the reader and she's just in a lot of pain?

Wukong and Macaque with an S/O on Their Period

Wukong:

Since he is a monkey, he kinda freaked out the first time when he smelled blood on you when he walked through the door.

“Did anybody hurt ya peaches? Just give me the word and I’ll take care of it…” He held you by the shoulders as he furrowed his brow, the thought of you hurt made the anger rise in his chest. 

Of course, you explained to him what was going on as you lay in a fetal position, clutching your stomach on the couch. 

Wukong doesn’t really understand it at first, to be honest.

If it’s unpleasant, just stop having one?

Wukong…

After you explain to him you can’t control it and that’s not how it works, he’s more informed about the pain it leaves you in. 

However, it takes some time for him to fully wrap his head around the concept. 

After all, he wasn’t around mortals for many MANY years.

But don’t worry, that doesn’t mean he thinks you’re overdramatic! He can tell by the smell and the way you act you are genuinely in pain. 

Between the way your moods are different and the groaning as you two cuddle, he wished he could take the pain away from you.

You had to deal with this every month?

Damn, he admires you so much to be honest.

As mentioned before, you two cuddle twice as much when you’re on your period and that’s saying a lot considering you two cuddle quite often. 

Will rub your back and/or stomach (if you allow him to) as he kisses your forehead.

Of course, he has all your favorite snacks and drinks ready next to you guys so you can just take it easy!

"You just lay here in my arms peaches, forget about everything while ya rest."

Will even share his peach chips like the generous and oh-so-handsome boyfriend he is.

Praise him please.

Macaque:

Like Wukong, he was caught off guard when he smelled blood on you after you messaged him to come over. 

He was already planning murder in his head before you could even question why he was looking at you so intently.

“Where are they sugarplum… Who hurt you?...”

…Huh?

“You’re bleeding… Who hurt you?” His nose scrunched, twitching with fury.

Ohhhh!

After you explained to him what was actually going on, a sigh of relief escaped his lips.

Unlike Wukong however, he was familiar with periods as he lived in the city and was around humans more often. 

Be prepared to get treated like a princess during your period.

You want food? Sit right there while he goes and gets you takeout along with your favorite snacks.

Need something hot to press against your aching abdomen? He’s already heating a water bottle on the stove for you with some painkillers which he totally paid for. 

Don’t you dare worry about anything right now, you just relax and let him take care of everything.

Don’t worry about mood outbursts as well, he knows your hormones are out of wack during that time.

Your favorite part of your period is when he lays your head in his lap and plays with your hair as you both lay in bed while the TV plays in the background.

Of course, he does it for you all the time, but his fingers running through your hair are just extra soothing and distracts from the pain in your uterus. 

Smiles down at you as he mumbles praises to you, 

“Look at how pretty you are right now. How did I get so lucky, huh?”

“You did get lucky, don’t forget it.”

He laughs at your playful response, nodding as he chuckled some more.

“You got it sweet cheeks.”

[topazy]

Teen spirit

Pairing: Carl Grimes x reader

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of blood

Chapter: 6.07

You silently prayed, holding onto the silver cross Carl gave you while Maggie slept in the bed in the RV. She was in so much pain, and eventually exhaustion had taken over her. The thought of losing her terrified you.

Rick crouches down beside you and gently squeezes your shoulder. “Do you remember the night at the prison when the gate fell down and the walkers got through; it was at the same time everyone was sick with the flu?”

You wipe at your eyes, which now feel sticky with tears. “Yeah?”

“Me, you, and Carl stopped the horde from getting to the people we love.”

“I don’t understand,” you admit.

“You needed to be brave that night, just as you have so many other times. When you shot Ron... Maggie needs you to be brave now.”

“I’m scared I’m going to lose her.”

“I know, but the doctor in Hilltop will take good care of her.” Rick lowers his voice. “It’s not just your sister that needs you; Carl does as well. He’s trying to be strong, but everything that’s happened since we arrived in Alexandria... I know he’s struggling.”

You turn your head and nod, “Okay.”

Rick kisses your forehead and goes to join Sasha, Abraham, Eugene, Aaron, and Carl at the front of the RV, but just as he does, the campervan comes to a sudden halt.

“What’s going on?”

“Enemy close,” Abraham says calmly.

You stand up to look out of the front window to see a group of men with guns standing around a man who is laying on the road who looks as if he’s had a bad beating.

Rick goes to open the door, but pauses and hands you a gun first. “YN, stay here with Maggie. The rest of you are with me.”

You crouch down, trying to keep out of view while watching. It’s hard for you to hear everything that’s being said, but Rick and the other man in charge have a standoff, but surprisingly no bullets are fired.

—

Carl tilts the blinds to look out of the window, watching as Walker stumbles through the field next to the road. He closes the blinds and looks at Aaron, “Why didn’t you stay back and defend the place?”

You were sitting further up the RV at a small table with Eugene trying to help him look for another route to Hilltop from your current position, but you still had a view of the bed your sister was in, including those sitting next to her.

“I owe her,” Aaron answers, looking at Maggie. “Why did you come?”

“I owe them, plus I need to keep Y/N safe.”

You start to grow nervous when Eugene stops mumbling to himself; you’re afraid there is no other route, and the only other options are to return home and hope for the best, or fight with the men from the saviors and hope for the best. But Eugene finally breaks his silence. “I think I’ve got something.”

—

“Do you think you could do it?” Abraham asks as he drives the RV along the new route. It was only the two of you sitting up the front, so you weren’t sure where the conversation was coming from since you’d been sitting in silence.

“Do what?”

“Do what Maggie and Glenn did with Carl?”

You laugh at his words, “I’m too young to think about marriage and babies.”

“I may have agreed with you at one point, but now in this new world?” He sees the expression on your face and chuckles to himself, “I’m not saying you get Gabriel to perform a ceremony the moment we go home, but if what you have is special, then never let it go. No matter how old you are.”

You knew Abraham was just trying to distract you from being upset, but you did appreciate it. “The last thing anybody needs is a drunk behind the wheel.”

“You always had a smart mouth on ya, I was starting to miss hearing your shit talk.”

Growing up the way you did, your mother and father always drilled it into you to be polite, respectful, and never swear, and even during the apocalypse, you were afraid something bad would happen if you did. “My daddy would have said you were a bad influence.”

“That’s funny because Glenn said the exact same thing to me last week.” He clears his throat. “Tell you what? Once this is all done and dusted, I’ll teach you how to drive properly so the next time I’m drunk driving, you can take over.”

“Deal.”

A few more moments of silence pass until Abraham turns the corner and you see another group of men with guns blocking the road, “bitch nuts. Y/N, don’t get too close to the window.”

Everyone gathers to stare at the men; you gulp down. If they decided to attack now, it wouldn’t take long for all of you to be dead. Unless Abraham managed to speed away, then our group would easily be overpowered.

“Do we make a stand?” Sasha asks.

“Yeah,” Carl looks at his dad. “We end it.”

“No, we can’t. This is a trap; the moment we step out of the RV, we are dead.”

“With one of us behind a wheel that’s five on sixteen,” Rick adds. “We’re gonna play it our way, how we want.”

Abraham slowly backs the RV up, and when he doesn't, one of the men starts firing into the sky, causing you to flinch, feeling as scared as you did when the men ambushed you, Daryl, Rosita, and Denise.

You start to feel yourself panic, but a hand reaches out and holds onto your wrist. Carl keeps hold of you until you’re far enough away that the gunshots start to fade into the distance.

—

“Wait, dad, something's not right.”

The saviors were now toying with your group and had set traps up blocking the different roads. They had a row of walkers chained together blocking the road, but it wasn’t until now that you noticed what Carl was so freaked out about.

“Oh my god, that’s Daryl’s.”

One of the walkers had a piece of Michonne attached to the side of its head; the others had clothing that belonged to other members of your group.

Rick goes to stab one of the walkers in the head, but men appear on either side of the road and begin firing at you.

“Everyone into the RV now!”

Carl and Sasha cover Rick while he breaks the blockade of walkers by cutting off their arms, making space for Abraham to drive through. Once you make it back onto the RV, you immediately go to Maggie’s side and notice how much worse she looks.

—

You place your hand on Maggie’s forehead. “She’s burning up.”

“She’s going to make it,” Carl says, trying to reassure you.

“The Saviors are messing with us for fun. They’ve made sure we know they have our people; they aren’t afraid of walkers, but yet they aren’t killing us.” Each time Abraham drove so far up another road, there would be another blockage preventing you from going any further. They even hung a man and set fire to one of the blockades in front of you. “These people aren’t scared of anything.”

Seeing Maggie start to stir, you take hold of her hand. “Hey, it’s fine. It’s going to be okay.”

“I heard gunshots.”

“It was the Saviors, but it’s fine now.”

—

The odds were staking up against you, but Eugene came through with a plan. The saviors were waiting to see the RV appearing on the road, so if you waited until nightfall, you would have a better chance of traveling on foot without being seen while he still drives the RV to make them think your group was still on the road.

“Maggie, we are going to get you to the doctor soon,” you smile. “You and baby will be okay.”

Her skin was pale and sweaty, and you didn’t actually believe what you were saying. You had a feeling something terrible was about to happen.

After making a stretcher out of what you could find in the RV, all of you aside from Eugene start to go through the woods. Maggie, being her stubborn self, insisted she walk to Hilltop, but it wasn’t going to happen. You and Carl take out the walkers that get too close while the remaining four people take a corner of the stretcher.

You’re unsure of how long you’ve been walking for when you notice something shining on the ground. “Wait up,” you whisper, bending down to inspect the familiar jewelry. You pick it up but then quickly toss it, feeling the wetness on it. “Rick, Rick.”

He looks over at you with a panicked look in his eyes. “What is it?”

“We need to go back.” You hold up your hand so he can see the blood on it. “Rosita’s earrings; she was wearing them when she left Alexandria—”

Before you can say anything else, you are cut off by multiple people whistling. This whole thing was a trap, even the way the jewelry was laid out was so easy to find. The Saviors just wanted to torment as many people as they could.

“Go! Go!”

You take off running through the woods until a bright light blinds you, and you’re suddenly surrounded by saviors and different vehicles, making it impossible to run away from them. All of them were whistling.

Holding your gun, you stand with your back to Maggie, prepared to shoot anyone who tries to hurt her.

The man called Simon, who Rick spoke with earlier, appears and points his gun at Carl, ordering all of you to hand over your weapons. This was the first time you’d ever seen Rick look terrified, and that’s how you knew you were screwed.

—

“Y/N,” Carl’s face turns pale as he notices the blood soaking through your shirt.

“I know.”

Between running and being forced down onto your knees by the saviors, the stitches from your stab wound had pulled, and your wound was now bleeding.

“Hey, hey,” Abraham gets your attention. “Show them no goddamn fear.”

You wanted to be brave like them, but you weren’t. You felt completely helpless while you watched them force Maggie onto her knees.

A van door is opened, and Michonne, Rosita, Glenn, and Daryl are dragged from it, then forced onto the ground beside the rest of you. Simon gleefully knocks on the RV door, “Alright, let’s meet the man.”

Through teary eyes, you meet Carl’s gaze. The two of you were on opposite ends of the line-up. You were now kneeling on the ground between Glenn and Rosita.

The door opens, and a dark-haired man with a wide grin walks out, “Pissing our pants yet?”

Satan in a Sunday hat.

“Boy, so I gave a feeling we’re getting close.” The man walks back and forth along the line, sizing everyone up while holding a wooden basketball bat that had barbed wire wrapped around it. “It’s gonna be pee-pee pants city here real soon. Which one you pricks is the leader?”

“It’s this one,” Simon points to Rick. “He’s the guy.”

The man sighs, “Hi, you’re Rick, right? I’m Negan. And I do not appreciate you killing my men. Also, when I sent my people to kill your people for killing my people, you killed more of my people. Not cool. Not cool. You have no idea how not cool that shit is. But I think you’re gonna be up to speed shortly. Yeah. You are so gonna regret crossing me in a few minutes.”

You silently start to pray again, taking hold of the small silver cross between your fingers.

“You see, stick to whatever you do; no matter what, you don’t mess with the new world order. And the new world order is this: And it’s really very simple. So, even if you’re stupid, which you very well may be, you can understand it. Are you ready? Here goes, pay attention.” He points his bat in Rick's face, “Give me your shit, or I will kill you. Today was career day. We invested a lot so you would know who I am and what I can do. You work for me now. You have shit; you give it to me. That’s your job.”

While Negan continues to taunt your group, your eyes move along every single person who you know is considered family. Everyone was crying and shaking aside from Abraham and Carl.

Negan keeps repeating that he wants half your group's supplies, but that wouldn’t be enough.

“So if someone knocks on your door, you let us in. We own that door. You try to stop us, and we will knock it down. Understand?” Negan mockingly puts his hand up to his ear, “What, no answer?”

Negan reminds you of the governor.

“You don’t really think that you were gonna get through this without being punished, now did you?” Negan shakes his head. “I don’t wanna kill you people. Just want to make that clear from the get-go. I want you to work for me.”

Just like the governor wanted you all the live together at one point.

“You can’t do that if you’re dead, now, can you? I’m not growing a garden, but you killed my people—a whole damn lot of them. More than I’m comfortable with. And for that—for that you’re going to pay.”

An eye for an eye.

“So now, I’m gonna beat the holy hell out of one of you.”

The crazy bastard introduces his baseball bat as Lucille, Negan is crazy. He stands in front of Abraham and seems amused when Abraham holds his gaze and rises up on his knees. Chucking Negan moves down the line and points at Carl, “You had one of our guns.”

Carl says nothing.

Negan crouches in front of him. “You got a lot of our guns. Shit, kid, lighten up. At least cry a little.”

He starts to walk back up the line and stops in front of Maggie. “Jesus, you look shitty. I should just put you out of your misery.”

The second Negan lifts the bat up, both you and Glenn yell for him to stop. Glenn tries to reach Maggie but is pinned down to the ground by a savior.

“Nope. Nope, get him back in line,” Negan says, sounding like an unimpressed parent. “Don’t any of you do that again. I will shut that shit down, no exceptions. First ones free; it’s an emotional moment; I get it.”

You press your palm against your side in a poor attempt to stop it hurting so much, which Negan notices. He laughs, “Jesus Rick, you could have at least made it harder for me. Half your camp looks as if it’s dying off already.”

You want to cry but don’t allow yourself to, not anymore. Giving Negan the satisfaction would be more painful than the wound itself. He points to your side with his bad, “What the hell happened to you?”

“One of your men stabbed me.”

“One of my men stabbed you? A kid?” He kneels down with a smirk on his face. “So you know I have men that can and will fight for me. What does that tell you?”

“It tells me you have men who take the easy option and stab a little girl rather than actually putting up a real fight.”

His smile disappears. Negan just stares at you for a few moments until he suddenly stands and looks back over at Carl, who was glaring at him. “I’ve been trying to put two and two together, but I think I now get it; this is your little girlfriend.” He turns back to look at Rick, “And this must be your kid; you have a similar evil eye.”

“That’s enough!”

“Do not make me kill the little future serial killer; don’t make it easy on me. I gotta pick somebody, and everybody is at the table waiting for their order.”

Negan starts whistling while trying to decide who to kill.

[christinered]

Hey Guys. My Little Red aka. @texasred43 didnt even get the chance to fight.

I dont know if this is fitting but shes got a great page.

As tribute Im going to return to the beginning of our friendship thru her archive.

Please join me reposting from her years of posts here on tumblr. Only we know of her best and true desires and feelings as she kept us away from judgemenral bible belt people around her small town.

Small..lol...the only 24 hr purchase you can make there is a coke machine behind the pharmacy. In the middle of town she said. Thats where the traffic light is. She said.

Lol. THE TRAFFIC LIGHT...LOL

The redheaded country mouse and the redheaded city mouse.

So different and still absolutely connected instantly in every easy way. Maybe the red hair. Im not sure.

I'm just lucky to have had her.

She was so worth keeping around longer, so much longer.

I dont understand why the Universe/Fate/God does the things he does.

I know we are not supposed to question "The Plan". Im just a bad girl because I will question everything when it comes to people I love.

Sorry. Im not good with processing emotional pain.

I'm taking my sorrow to the one man on the line that has never turned on me Kinksters...

Jack Daniels.

A Toast .....To TexasRed43.

You will always be loved Little Red.. May God Keep You.

Sorry...I didnt get a chance to say goodbye

None of us did. Not even her family.

Too soon..

Okay...okay...okay....it's really not okay...

Cheers...

~

And before anybody makes an opinion..Yeah those are Marlboros. Im smoking today.

Just dont!

~Red

[notmorbid]

bear.

dialogue prompts from bear by julia phillips.

i've lived long enough to know who can be counted on and who can't.

we're going to have to save each other.

we'll have to move, if we want a life worth living.

i've spent a long time waiting for my life to change.

you'll never guess what we saw today.

you get worked up over the weirdest stuff.

our brave girl.

a little stargazing sounds like fun.

i do feel lucky, sometimes.

you're exactly the same as you've always been.

stay away from my family's pain.

is this real?

i thought you might have gone out there.

it's easier to be brave together.

i don't know why i bothered telling anybody.

you could. you just don't want to.

i didn't think it was real when i first saw it.

you don't sound scared at all.

you're not worried?

you have a way of making even mistakes look gorgeous.

i would have followed you anywhere.

you were who i wanted to grow up to be.

i wanted a grownup to step in, so i could step back and be a child again.

i don't want to be in pain.

does it help you to hear that i'm used to it?

so how was it, really?

sorry, but i have to tell you something.

we'll get through this. we always do.

there are always chances for hope.

are we in trouble?

you look like someone who has everything.

i can't figure you out.

are you the oldest child, or are you just arrogant?

shock can do strange things to our perception.

what is calling ____ going to do for us?

you were being kind of rude.

i don't appreciate your keeping secrets from me.

when was the last time you felt really alive?

there's nothing to say. it's just the way it is.

i didn't know it got to you like that.

i want things to be better than this.

____ is my one good thing.

___ would have told me.

you played your part well. i have to give you that.

you're brave. i would have freaked out.

you're the most levelheaded person i've ever met.

you hit me. you can't do that.

i want to understand. i've been trying to understand.

i need you to listen to me. right now you aren't listening at all.

i know you think i don't understand, but i do.

all i want is for you to be happy.

i know you love me. do you trust me?

we have each other. we'll make it through this.

i miss having you here. i got used to it.

do you know how proud i am of you?

you don't argue with the timing of gifts. you open your arms and welcome them.

you know how to listen, even to what isn't said.

do you think you'll raise your kids here?

we've wasted enough time together.

we can't make people do what they don't want to do.

you need to wake up.

we've been underwater for years.

we're not going anywhere.

how are you doing? i've been thinking of you.

i know how destabilizing loss can be.

you're overwhelmed. that makes people act without thinking.

it's time to focus on your family.

you're so close to seeing the truth.

for a single minute, can you leave me alone?

i'm pretty shitty, if you're asking.

____ was so young. it isn't fair.

you're acting like someone i don't recognize.

real love is the ability to hear what isn't said.

i can't imagine ever being with anyone else.

you did worse than ask. you expected.

we're not children anymore, making up stories about our grownup selves.

you're never going to find anyone who is more dedicated to you than i am.

there's something here that's nowhere else.

i was bored, so i thought i'd come visit.

when was the last time you slept?

we have a good time together, don't we?

there's more to the world than this.

you'd benefit with some distance from home.

didn't i warn you?

i'm trying to help you.

stop hanging around messing with my life. go make your own.

no outsider could ever help us.

have you ever held a gun before?

i don't want to hurt anyone.

nothing matches an older sibling's constancy.

i imagine everything as better than it actually was.

you're not alone. you've never been alone.

[st4rgxd]

Stuck in the Past

percy x hypnos!reader

summary: Percy chose you. But why does it feel like he didn't?

tags: angst, percy being an idiot, some comfort

wc: 1.6k

note: at last, a fanfic I actually liked after I finished writing

Percy and Annabeth are Camp Half Blood’s power duo.

No one would mess with them because surely the other wasn’t too far off. Even when fully alone, Percy and Annabeth were strong enough on their own to stand their ground. 

You were there for their last battle with Gaea. A tragic moment honestly. You had arrived during battle and had been shoved into fight mode. By the end of it, you wanted to run out and hope it was all an illusion. But then he stood before you and handed you a water bottle with a smile. A very exhausted smile that told you he didn’t want this either.

It was a painful realization.

Knowing that you were doomed to a tragic end due to your parents.

But Percy gave you hope. He fought hard every day to make his own destiny and define his future.  

You didn’t realize when you got close to Percy. It sort of just happened. He bumped into you at his high school which was your new school. He often took you to camp to train given that Gaea’s battle was your only hands-on experience. 

“I’m telling you. It had to be like ten in the morning when I got here. Campers were screaming. Satyrs helping. It was so confusing.” You chuckle to yourself but Percy remains silent. You don't let the silence linger before speaking again.

“It wasn’t as bad as it seems. I guess I needed the reality check.” You shrug thinking back to that scary day. You still sometimes have nightmares about it.  You haven't told anybody that but that day scared you more than you liked to think.

“When I first got here, I was also very confused. Grover was my friend and then he was my guardian. Chiron was my teacher and then my mentor. My mom was alive and then... well... the same more or less.” He takes a deep breath before giving you a small smile. 

“I guess what I’m trying to say is it’s okay to be confused and scared. It’d be crazy for you not to be. We’re wired to be great soldiers when we’re meant for more. At least that’s how I view it.” Percy kept talking to you after that. It was hard to stop once it started. 

Annabeth wasn’t upset over it.

Although you understand there was a bond there, one you could never break. You didn’t think it would matter. Especially not when Percy makes it clear that you're the one he loves. 

Yet it was getting hard to remember that. 

Late nights at Annabeth’s cabin slowly became dinners and late-night study sessions at her apartment. You tried to remain rational since Percy didn’t have a disloyal bone in his body. But it was hard to ignore the smiles that appeared on his face when he answered her calls. 

Today was the last straw.

He had invited Annabeth to the study date you had been looking forward to. He already saw her 6 days a week, why couldn’t it just be the both of you? 

You try to move past it but insecurities piled at the sight of him laughing and joking around with her as if you weren’t there.

Eventually, you had enough. 

“Excuse me. I need some air.” You get up abruptly. You practically run towards the library’s exit. It didn’t take long before he followed you out the door, Annabeth not far behind. 

“Are you okay?” He asks, concerned. Annabeth lingers behind.

“Yes. I’m fine.” You snap. Confusion fills his eyes at the tone of your voice. Were you upset with him? 

“Are you sure?” He asks but before you can answer a loud crash is heard behind you. 

“Percy behind you!” Annabeth shouts and on instinct, Percy moves.

Seeing them in action always leaves you in awe. It was amazing to see two people so uniquely in sync. Now, however, all you feel is sour hate. 

You join Percy’s side trying to be what he needs.

Instead, all you seem to do is get in the way. 

“I got it!” You run to knock out the beast while Percy shouts no. 

You get there and direct your focus towards the beast only for Annabeth to get caught in the crossfire, knocking her out. She fell to the floor, directly in front of the beast charging at you.

Despite the countless more quests you’ve gone on, all you could feel at that moment was the fear you felt the first day you arrived at camp. The beast lunges at you and claws into your arm before being shoved away. 

Percy isn’t sure how he was able to do it but he blasted the beast away, the water pushing you to the ground as well. He quickly ran toward Annabeth, where she was beginning to wake from your sleeping spell. 

“Are you okay?” He asked her and she slowly nodded. Her eyes looked up at yours causing Percy to redirect his anger. He gets up from her side and marches towards you. 

“What the hell were you thinking?! You could’ve gotten her killed!” He shouts and you bite back your words.

He was right.

You almost got her killed.

And you feel like complete shit.

The cherry on top just happens to be your boyfriend making you feel worse about you potentially hurting his ex. 

“I’m sorry.” Is all you manage to say while staring at the ground and then walking away. 

Percy had returned his attention to Annabeth who couldn’t forget your teary expression. She really didn’t hate you. She didn’t have any hard feelings toward you. So it didn’t sit well with her that Percy wasn’t treating you correctly. 

“What's wrong with you seaweed brain?” She asks him and he looks up in confusion. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Y/N? You practically kicked a sad puppy.” Percy crosses his arm, already getting defensive. 

“She could’ve gotten you badly injured. She kept intervening.” 

“She was helping.”

“She didn’t move after knocking you out! That thing would’ve run straight over you if I didn’t stop it.” 

“Is there only kelp in that head?” She snaps rudely, “I’d hate to say I know your girlfriend better but she isn’t immune to PTSD. I doubt she purposely stood there waiting for the monster to run me over. I shouldn’t even be here today. We’ve studied enough for your SATs and finals, you’ll be fine seaweed brain, go to your girlfriend.” Annabeth’s words blew away the fog in Percy’s brain. You froze. As in flight or fight, you froze. 

You froze and instead of comforting you, he yelled and pushed you away. Regret settled in his stomach at the realization of his intense fuck up. 

“Are you going to apologize or sit here the entire day?” Annabeth stands up and extends her hand out to encourage him. He takes off running. 

Your teary vision didn’t make the journey back home better. Tears would randomly leave your eyes despite your best efforts to push them away. You didn’t walk the entire way home. You were too drained to take the train, deciding to just hop in a cab. 

Once you got home, you cried. You weren’t able to focus on one reason. Just that you felt awful and have been for a while. You wrapped your arms tightly around yourself as your sobs settled down and your eyes began to close. 

That’s how Percy is seeing you now. Your arms are still around you, dried tears on your cheeks, your hair plastered by sweat, and a deep cut on your arm. 

He feels like a failure of a boyfriend. He places his keys on the tray by the door, waking you up. You quickly sit up thinking it’s an intruder.

“Hey, hey. Relax. It’s me.” Percy weakly puts up his hands and you tense up. He notices. 

“How’s Annabeth?” You ask, genuinely concerned. Even though you were there, your mind convinced you that she somehow could still be in danger because of you. 

“She’s okay. Probably just a slight concussion.” Your shoulders finally relax and he takes the time to look at your arm again. He looks away as the guilt eats at him.

“I overreacted.” He admits but you shake your head. 

“No, you were right. I should’ve not gotten in the way. I know you guys are stronger, I just thought I could… I don’t know, I'm sorry. I’ll do better next time.” Your eyes prickle with tears and Percy is instantly in front of you. 

“Why did you freeze?” He asks you and the tears begin to fall. You hate feeling vulnerable. 

“Was it the monster? That ugly-looking thing?” He asks trying to make you laugh but you can’t. 

“It was like I was back there. Everything was okay and then things happened too quickly. It was too much.” You weren’t sure if he understood but he did. His therapist has helped him through enough flashbacks to know that’s what you had experienced. 

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” He pulls you into a hug and you let him hold you. You always felt the safest when he was holding you close with his head above your shoulder, looking out for potential threats. 

His phone rings and he pulls away from you. You didn’t have to see the screen to know who it was. Who else would it be? You could feel the disappointment building up as his finger hovers over the screen.

He pressed the decline button before placing his phone on the table. 

“Wanna watch a movie?” He asks and you nod, happy to spend some alone time with your boyfriend. 

— extra

Annabeth stood by the table spamming Percy’s phone with messages. 

You forgot your phone.

And your backpack.

And your wallet. 

Why do you have your social security in your wallet? 

I’m treating myself to lunch ;)

[devilishchaos]

THE { } AND | Rúben Dias Imagine

Rating / genre: interview?, conversation

Pairings: Reader x Rúben Dias

Summary: Y/N and Rúben play a card game and answer questions about each other. Basically admiration to one another.

Warnings: not really an Imagine; first pov; mention of death; it's fluff I think, like it's soft and brings Y/N and Rúben together idk I'm trying something new

Word Count: 1 475 words

This is a work of fiction. The story, names, characters and incidents either are product or the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Walking into the room I admired the set that the crew had put together. I went around the table that was in the middle and sat down in a chair on the left, while Rúben sat beside me in a different chair, to my right. 

“You ready?” he asked me after we were mic'd up and ready to go, then grabbed my hand, knowing that I get nervous when someone is filming me. Although I knew what I was getting myself into when we decided that we were going to start dating. I mean this kind of stuff comes with dating a celebrity right? 

“Yeah.” 

“Are you okay with doing this?” 

“Rúben, I am here. If I wasn’t okay with any of this I wouldn’t be here, no?” 

“Okay baby, let’s do this!” He smiles. 

“Okay guys, you know the drill. Y/N will ask Rúben the questions off her cue cards, Rúben you will ask Y/N the questions off your cue cards and you have to answer the questions about the other person. We begin rolling in 3, 2, 1..” the director said and the cameras began rolling. 

“Hello guys, it’s Rúben here. I am here with Y/N, my girlfriend..” 

“Hello.”

“..and today we will be playing THE { } AND card game in this creative studio, exploring human emotion, intimacy and connection.” Rúben said and looked in my direction, which meant that it was time for my line. 

I took a deep breath and just said it. 

“Each one of us has their cue cards. Mine consist of questions for Rúben, Rúben’s cards consist of questions for me to answer. And we will be answering them in front of you guys. Who is going to start first?” I looked at Rúben and he suggested that I do. 

“Okay. First question Rúbes. Describe the moment you realized you could trust me.” I read the question out loud and placed my card on the table. 

“Okay, so..just when you were there for me, I mean, without me asking, without anything..just how much I could tell you loved me by the way you handled me when I didn’t know what was going on, what to do and which direction to take.” Rúben answered and here we were on the first question and there were tears in my eyes already. “There's that. My turn. What does my love feel like? ” 

“Oh wow..” I was taken aback “..what does your love feel like? Hmm..your love is intense and hard..you love hard to the point where I’m like “Let me breathe.” but at the same time it’s so warm and..safe. It makes me relax. You know?” and he just nodded his head. “What is a pain in me you wish you could heal?”  

“The loss of your grandfather..” the moment he said that sentence, it felt like the air had been sucked out of my lungs because he knows how I feel about that. 

“I really do. But I know I never could heal it. What I want you to do is to heal it yourself, because no one can heal your pain..I know this was before my time. Before me and you got together, so I can’t tell you he died of his sickness nor that he wasn’t murdered by accident..but baby there’s nothing that you could have done to help him, you’ve seen his state..” Rúben stopped for a second and reached for my face to wipe a couple of tears because by now the tears were falling freely. Then he continued 

“I don't think anybody comes back from losing someone that they love deeply. But if I could, I'll take that pain away. I'll take your pain because I can deal with that pain. You understand what I’m saying? Because you already know how I deal with hurt. I don't let it kill me because I think that's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to take your lessons, whether it’s good or bad, whether it’s a loss or a gain. You just gotta take it and learn how to live with it, because that's yours and it's never going to go away. But I just want you to learn how to live with that wound without letting it consume you.” 

And with that I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and started fanning my face a bit. God, I was probably red as a tomato in the face. 

“You good? Should we continue?” Rúben asked me with concern. 

“Yeah, yeah..I’m good. Ask me.” I gave him a smile. 

“When do you feel closest to me?” 

“When we cuddle.” I let out a giggle “I mean it’s a specific type of a cuddle. So like during the day if we cuddle it’s usually on the couch or on a chair outside in the garden. And most of the time it’s you laying down and me attached to you like a koala or something, and I put my head on your chest and yeah. I love that. But I feel closest to you at night or after a hard time that I was going through, with work or uni, when we spoon..and I am the little spoon..and I just I don’t know what is it but my head fits perfectly on your shoulder and it’s so comfy..you embrace me with both hands and your head is really close to mine..it’s the best, honestly.” 

“Really? I didn’t know that. We should do it more often.” 

“Yes. So Rúben, how am I most like you and how does that scare you? What a great question.” 

“It’s very simple. You are indefatigably honest. You reek of integrity and that scares me I guess, because that’s a holy grail for me. I can’t stand the emotional cowardness that people showcase these days.”

“The same goes to you, babe.”

“Okay. Y/N. When do you worry about me the most?” 

“Well, when you’re being too harsh on yourself. When you’re struggling or going through a hard time with work, family or me. Makes me feel helpless..and on that note it’s going to sound cliche but also when you go on the pitch. I feel like that implies to everybody who has such dynamic jobs. But like it’s not you who I am concerned about..well it’s you but what I mean is you are probably the most diplomatic person that I know. And I know you, and I know you would never start shit first. You know what I mean? It’s the other players that I don’t trust, because I’ve seen horrific things happen out there. You are usually the first one to try to stop a fight or whatever, but I am afraid that someone would purposefully hurt you or injure you, or try to provoke you. These thoughts alone make me anxious. I sometimes can't wait to hear the final whistle, no matter if you're losing or winning, if there are more than five yellow cards given - I'm on the edge the whole time and I want it to be over with..Well would you look at this Rú, last question. When do you think I need you most and are you there?” 

“A tough one. Hmm..I think you need me most when you are not feeling well. Mentally, emotionally and physically. I think I am there. I feel like I am there, If I can be there I am. And even if I almost can’t be there, I find a way to be there with you. Through whatever it is that you're going through. And it’s hard because you require alone time. And I respect that and I give it to you, well I try to but I know you..you'll most likely overthink everything and knowing that you are restless and in distress makes me go crazy..Now, your last question Y/N. When are you the most in love with me?” 

“Oh my God..when you are surrounded by family and friends. Doesn’t matter if your parents come to visit us in Manchester or we go to Portugal. That’s when you are completely relaxing. As I said before, you are very intense, passionate, responsible, serious and just about your business in your day-to-day lifestyle. You are on the edge 24/7 trying to do your best everyday and seeing you with your family absolutely melts me. You get more soft, you get to chill and rest, loosen up a bit, and let go of any negative energy. Recharge your batteries, you know what I’m saying.” 

“I love you, Y/N.” 

“I love you, Rúben.” 

“Well, there you go guys. This was me and my lovely girlfriend answering these great questions that I feel like brought us closer to one another. Hope you enjoyed it, we sure did. And I guess I will see you soon. Have a great day. Bye, guys.”

[beanghostprincess]

i would care if you talked about luffy's issues please talk please tell me all your takes, genuinely (< anon who enjoys your takes)

I am so thankful you asked me this because Luffy is genuinely one of my favorite characters of all time, especially when it comes to shonen protagonists. I'm always saying I don't like shonens (says the one that watches a lot of shonens) but that's mainly because the main characters never feel... Well-written enough for me to like them. But, well, One Piece is different. With all characters, really. It's one of the first shonens I watch that I genuinely love and enjoy because of the characters (shout out to Mob Psycho 100 being one of my favorite animes of all time too because of that same reason).

Luffy is a very complex character and I think that's why he gets mischaracterized most of the time when it comes to the fandom. Some people make him too dumb. Others make him too childish. Others make him way darker and more depressed than he truly is. And I'd say that's weird, having in mind how much the show talks about Luffy and is focused on Luffy's POV, but I kind of understand because people aren't used to characters that are both optimistic and realistic at the same time. Most of the time people consider an optimistic character to be completely idealistic (a good example here is Uta. She is idealistic because she's been sheltered for so long and thinks something as complex as the corruption in the world can be solved with a few songs and love) and refuse to acknowledge the fact that somebody with hopes and dreams can also understand (first-hand, even) the suffering within the world. People like extremes. They like to make both Law and Zoro extremely edgy. They like to babify Sanji and Koby. They forget about Nami's character depth to make her only "the mean lesbian" of the group (that term makes me so fucking furious you don't even know). Etc. Etc. Etc. The thing is: Luffy has layers. His personality varies. He's optimistic. He's realistic. He's stupid. He's emotionally intelligent. He's impulsive. He cares about the safety of the people around him. He's careless. He feels guilt. He's confident. He's so damn insecure. He's playful. He's the most serious character too. Etc. Etc. Etc.

What I want to say with all of this is that Luffy, despite being always perceived as this childish, dumb, and careless character within the fandom, has so much depth and trauma he deals with every fucking day. I once saw somebody saying Luffy is "not smart enough to understand the feeling of sadness" and I started laughing because what the fuck does that even mean. And... Is that person watching the same thing as me? Because the guy has suffered the injustice of the world so many times and so many losses that I can't even count them.

Basically: People portray Luffy as if he hadn't gone through any type of trauma when OP has shown countless times that he has been through a lot. A fucking lot. Perhaps it's the fact that he's the one hiding it all the time in the show, always replacing sadness with the need to be stronger so he doesn't feel like that ever again (aka protecting everyone so he doesn't lose anybody again. And not even in a selfish way to not be alone, although we could say that he does feel like that to some extent. But because his loved ones do not deserve to disappear or die in those ways and he feels guilty whenever it happens because every time, he says it's because he wasn't strong enough to protect them) and that's why most people don't realize how much pain he has gone through. But that's not a very valid argument because we have a lot of arcs that prove it otherwise (Sabaody, Marineford, Film Red, Wano...). So, yeah, I guess people just don't know how to read.

Starting through chronological order, I want to talk about his abandonment issues and savior complex that always seem to go hand in hand.

Luffy doesn't like to be alone. He's a very empathetic and extroverted person. He doesn't like to be bored, always loving the company of somebody else. But, sadly, he has always been kind of alone? People come and go for him all the time, and you can't tell me that doesn't affect him psychologically. He's 7 when he meets Uta and Shanks and the kid has never been more excited! That's when his dream of being a pirate begins and it's the first time he has a friend. A real friend, not just random animals he manages to find or older people that sometimes take care of him. Luffy gets bored easily, so of course, Shanks and Uta, being something new, make his life brighter. With dreams and new experiences and hope for a newer, better life outside his village. And then Uta and Shanks have to go, of course, and he stays all alone again. From what we've seen, the only thing Luffy did when they weren't around was just... Waiting for them to come back to him. That's it. Luffy's joy basically comes from being with people, and especially when he's fixated on somebody in particular, he doesn't let them go. Then they come back... But Uta is not with them anymore. That's Luffy's first heartbreak, in my opinion. It's when he decides that he has to be stronger. He loved Uta so damn much. She meant the world to him. And suddenly she isn't there, giving him no time to say goodbye, and... He only has Shanks. But Shanks refuses to tell him the truth about what happened with her. So here you go! It's the first time Luffy loses somebody this dear to him and the first time Shanks betrays him enough for him to get angry at his hero. He ends up accepting it, of course, but not because he has moved on, but because both Uta and Shanks told him to be stronger. More mature. And he forces himself to grow up faster because he wants something. He wants to know where his friend is, and if Shanks refuses to tell him because he's just a kid, then he'll just have to grow up and become stronger. To become a pirate and to keep the promise he made with Uta. The movies aren't canon so I just keep thinking about Luffy wondering where Uta is, and it breaks my heart every time.

Then Ace and Sabo appear in his life and... They are literally everything to him. I like Garp. He did what he could do. Kind of. But he leaves Luffy on his own with Ace under the care of some bandits (Dadan we love you, queen). So he can't really blame Luffy for the way he turned out to be, honestly. The thing is: Ace and Sabo are, again, something new to Luffy. They are not just friends. They are his brothers, now. We don't talk enough about Luffy's maturity and respect for other people's dreams even when he's just a kid. Luffy literally was kidnapped and beaten up and he didn't dare to say a word about Ace and Sabo's treasure because he respected their dream. He's loyal and understands other people's feelings and hopes perfectly. His empathy and emotional intelligence are just perfect. Then, well, you all know the story, but these two become the most important thing in Luffy's life, not only because they are his brothers, but because they are the representation of their dreams and future. And then it crashes into a million fucking pieces because of Celestial Dragons and classism and rich people quite literally saying "We are burning down the poor because they don't deserve to live! Woohoo!". And it's Luffy's first time realizing that the world is unfair and fucked up and that there are people that believe to be superior to others, a thing that Luffy fights against all the time.

So, Luffy learns that the world is extremely fucked up at a very young age. He has first-hand contact with the abuse rich people inflict on others, in every way. He suffers from the torture that is fighting for your life in the world of pirating and thieves when he's not even a pirate yet. He's just a kid. What the fuck. And then he loses Sabo. His older brother literally is killed by a celestial dragon and he can't do anything about it. He can only cry, of course, he's just a kid. What is he going to do? So he decides to become stronger. Because he feels weak in the hands of what is the injustice of the world. He feels trapped by that injustice, in my opinion, and wanting to be stronger is just the path to freedom. Because freedom means being able to save the people he cares about.

And here's the thing: Luffy's need to become stronger always comes from the guilt he feels after losing somebody, blaming himself even though he literally could have done nothing at the time to save Uta or Sabo. He has a severe savior complex, not to feel better about himself (although you could say that it would certainly fix his fear of being weak) but to not lose anybody else. For some reason he always feels responsible for the faith of the people he loves, he's constantly putting others first and sacrificing himself and then feeling guilty and weak when he can't save them when it wasn't even in his hands to save them in the first place.

Kid Luffy goes through a ton of stuff in his early years and the fear of being alone... Of losing somebody he cares about... It haunts him. He sees Shanks and piracy as the meaning of freedom and strength. It's just that simple for him: If he becomes a pirate, he'll be strong. If he's strong, he'll be free. If he's free, he'll never lose anybody again.

And yet, even if he's confident he'll manage to do this... He's still a kid. He's still a little brother. Ace's little brother. He depends on Ace, too, because that's the one person he has left. Ace promises him he won't die because he's just as confident, and says this as if Luffy was stupid for thinking something could happen to him. Not to get too into Ace's character right now, but the fact that he's constantly wondering if he should be alive to then realize Luffy needs him to stay alive... Is so damn beautiful.

And then he literally dies in front of Luffy. Protecting Luffy. And Oh, boy if that doesn't kill him... But that comes after Sabaody! After losing literally all of his crew! God, stop hurting this guy already for fuck's sake-

Long story short, Luffy manages to get a family. Not a crew. A family. He's not alone anymore, and he proves constantly that he won't let any of them go or die on him the way it happened with Uta and Sabo.

Water 7 is... Rough for Luffy, to say the least. Because it's the first time he sees everything he has built crumbling down. Robin is taken by the Marines. Usopp wants to leave the crew because he doesn't feel like he fits in, even though Luffy knows he is perfect for the family (Usopp just can't believe him because, you know, insecurities suck). And he has to learn how to be a captain. A true captain. He has to make the harsh decision of fighting his best friend and letting him go (his worst fucking fear) at the age of 17 because he's the captain. He has to be mature. And strong. And he definitely doesn't feel like those now. Not when Robin is also on her way to be executed.

Usopp is leaving. Robin might die. And it's just like Uta and Sabo all over again.

So, basically, Luffy grows up too fast. He grows up too fast, with the fear of abandonment and being weak, and the weight of being the captain of a whole crew resting on his shoulders. Besides, he fights against the world government for Robin because he refuses to let her die thinking she doesn't deserve/want to live, and it reminds me a lot of Ace's story. Ace doesn't think he deserves to live but then stays because he realizes that Luffy loves him and needs him. Robin, thanks to Luffy, realizes that she wants to live and that she has a new family to fight for.

Nobody dies and Usopp comes back this time, so everything ends up turning out fine after all! Yay!

Then Sabaody happens and I swear my guy can't have a fucking break.

Who has suffered more, Jesus Christ or Monkey D. Luffy from Sabaody to Marineford? I think we already know the answer.

He loses all of his crew. All at once. His worst fucking fear. They vanish right in front of his eyes and he can't do anything. He feels weak. He's shattered. Completely broken. But he's optimistic, still, because he believes in his crew and he knows they'll find a way to be together again! They've ben through a lot together, and they can find each other in a few days in Sabaody again. It's fine. But he has to delay it, of course, because his other biggest fucking fear is happening right now: Ace might die. His older brother might die.

So if you mix the trauma that caused him to have abandonment issues and a savior complex with the fact that Ace is the only sibling he has left and he is completely alone because his crew isn't by his side anymore... You get the most heartbreaking arc of the show! Awesome.

He does everything he can to save Ace. Ace complains about it, begging him to stay away from danger. And he refuses because he's his brother. He has to fight for him. And he does. And Ace dies anyway. Ace dies protecting him, too, and the hope that was left within him dies completely at that moment. Everything is shattered. His whole world is crumbling down. And I think that Luffy dies too at that moment.

For Luffy, losing Ace is not like losing a limb. Losing Ace is losing his everything. Ace meant the world to him. He was the representation of their dreams and hopes and past and future. He was the only person who knew Sabo like the back of his hand, too. And now Luffy is the only one carrying their souls. All alone.

That's probably Luffy's rock bottom. He doesn't think he deserves to be a pirate (or alive, either, but I don't want to get too deep into his suicidal thoughts I definitely think are a real thing because then this becomes too dark. But yeah. I think he does think about that too). He doesn't think he's strong enough. And he's completely broken.

There's this line from Fleabag that I absolutely adore: "I don't know what to do with it." / "With what?" / "With all the love I have for her. I don't know where to put it now."

Because Ace is gone. He's completely gone. And all the love Luffy has for him turns into grief and he doesn't know what to do anymore if Ace's soul isn't in the world to look after him. He doesn't know what to do if all the love and feelings he has for his brother go to waste. And it's his fault. Because he wasn't strong enough to protect him. Because he wasn't able to protect himself, Ace having to sacrifice himself for him. (And we know he feels guilty about this because he tells Sabo the second they meet again. He apologizes for not protecting Ace. He feels guilty about what happened still. And Sabo is just glad Luffy is okay because he knows his brothers too well to know already what happened).

Then our beloved Jinbe comes along (I love you. Please adopt me) and, following that quote of Fleabag: "I'll take it. No, I'm serious. It sounds lovely. I'll have it. You have to give it to me." / "Okay." / "It's got to go somewhere."

Jinbe reminds Luffy that he still has his crew. That he still has people who need him alive. People that love him and care for him. That he can't be weak if he has helped so many people already. That they're willing to take both the love and pain Ace makes him feel. And it's such a great character development for Luffy... It makes me go insane. He remembers his crew one by one and realizes that he's not alone anymore. That he has to be stronger for them and for Ace. And for Uta. And Sabo. Jinbe is there with him when the others couldn't, and it has nothing to do with Luffy's issues but I just want to mention how much I love Jinbe for this.

But he still feels the need to be stronger and the fear of losing his crew and the people he loves still haunts him. He tells the straw hats to meet after 2 years (that's a long fucking time. Like. Longer than the time they've spent together. Imagine the loyalty, damn). And it's... It's so beautifully written. The 3D2Y scene is one of my favorites because it shows the loyalty and love they have for each other, and how Luffy is willing to become stronger for the people he loves and the ones he has lost along the way. I literally have the tattoo. I am obsessed with the whole concept.

As I said, Luffy's abandonment issues and the fact that he wants to become stronger to never lose anybody again (Savior complex much?) still remain even after his character development. Because that's not something you get rid of. That's just how he is. And I think that, as long as he is with the straw hats, it won't be a problem.

Also I wanted to mention his reunion with Sabo! The guilt he feels for losing Ace? The way he clings onto his older brother as if they were going to take Sabo away from him? They're extremely codependent and I am here for it, honestly. Sabo would die for Luffy and Luffy would kill him if he did that. Also, I don't know where the fuck Sabo is now because I'm only watching Wano but I swear to God if something happens to him I will murder somebody with my bare hands. :)

Oh! And then it comes my favorite arc of all the show: Whole Cake Island (to the surprise of literally no one!). Luffy, in the beginning, is extremely optimistic when it comes to rescuing Sanji. He's simple like that. "If he doesn't want to get married, we rescue him. If he wants to get married, he just brings his wife with us!". And if Sanji didn't want to come back to them (truly not wanting to) he would accept it. But Sanji wants to. Luffy knows Sanji wants to go back to the Sunny with them. He knows Sanji isn't being true to himself. And God, he's desperate. Because Sanji is stubborn and his self-sacrificing and deprecating thoughts are even stronger than Luffy's, and he won't give up until Luffy lets him go. But Luffy doesn't want to fight him, he just wants his cook back. Because he knows that, no matter how much harm he does to him, Sanji is only doing it to himself (one of my favorite quotes from OP). So, Luffy goes again through the desperation of not losing a crewmate, but losing one of his wings. Without Sanji, Luffy can't become the king of the pirates. He's willing to die from starvation for him. Are you- Are you all aware that he almost fucking dies from starvation? I don't think we talk about that enough because what the actual fuck. There's this thing they tell Luffy (I don't remember exactly when or the exact phrasing) about him wanting Sanji back out of selfishness and not because of Sanji's well-being and... I partially agree? Don't get me wrong, Luffy does everything here for Sanji because he knows Sanji is suffering and lying to himself. But Luffy is selfish, too. Luffy doesn't want Sanji to go away because he loves him. That's his cook. He doesn't want to lose anybody else, even less knowing that they're going to be unhappy. That's kind of for me the confirmation of Luffy's abandonment issues. Like- He does everything for his crew, of course, but he's so scared of losing them. Then Sanji comes back to them, of course, and they have their own Pride and Prejudice moment. Not even Jane Austen can write shit like this.

I kind of want to talk about Wano but I haven't finished it yet (I'm like, on episode 1056) but I would like to mention how beautiful it is for Luffy to carry Ace's soul and promises like that. And also the responsibility he carries during the whole arc to save Wano? That's so- It's so fucked up. He's such a good leader and captain and everything I said in this post and all the things he does in Wano show that he will become the king of the pirates. I love him so damn much. I can't even write it down properly.

Anyway, summarizing everything: Luffy has a lot of abandonment issues and a savior complex that becomes unhealthy to the point of sacrificing himself and always carrying the burdens of everyone else. Because he fears he might lose his loved ones if he isn't strong enough. So. You know. It would be great if people stopped saying he's just childish and fun and that he doesn't have any character depth because he's probably the most complex shonen protagonist I've ever seen! He has suffered so damn much it hurts! Live Laugh Love Luffy! <3