#does anybody even remember this because I sure as hell didn't

[evilminji]

Oh shit :D ?

I just remembered! (Thank you, historical fantasy section!) But like? Serving and protecting The King, especially a HIGH KING, is quite literally not just an incredible honor... but it can sometimes be a person's Life Ambition?

Specificly a WORTHY king.

Perhaps they were denied in life. Perhaps they FAILED. And in their dying moments struggle with all they were to LIVE. To PROTECT. Perhaps the PREVIOUS king was a great and worthy ruler... but their heir is...

Unworthy.

Maybe they are born to an age without Rulers. Power shifting between hands in hidden halls. Unclear and murky. All they want is for their loyalty to MEAN something. For things to be SIMPLE.

The universe is large. The Infinite Realms? Unimaginably larger.

And Pariah Dark was a BASTARD.

Who would willingly swear to him? Fools! That's who! Every warrior soul worth ANYTHING gets as far AWAY from his Realm forsaken resting place as they can. Hides. Lest they be dragged in to his infernal, gods forsaken, cess pit of a so called "army"! *disgusted spitting noises*

But what does this mean? It means every trained FIGHTER... got the hell out of dodge. Oh, sure, a FEW refused. Like Pandora and her people. But most? The farthest side of NOWHERE, several layers down! Some still GOING! Better to be decried as cowards then have ANYTHING to do with THAT(said with loathing)!

It also means they weren't where Pariah could get to them when he woke. Couldn't help. Couldn't fight. Couldn't be commanded to kneel. Nothing. They removed themselves completely. Planned on CONTINUING to remove themselves. Preferably to the farthest reaches of forever, far beyond the bastard's gaze.

But! The whole REALM INFINITE felt it? When that... that hissing, acidic, malicious undertone? SLAMS back and away, like somebody's knocked a parasite from their backs. Replaced by coolness and starlight. Delicate balance and blood on your teeth. The pounding in your chest of HOPE.

It flutters so small across their backs, inside their chests. Washing away the old.

The King... feels tiny. Young.

.......what are they doing? Running like this. Hiding away like that will change anything. How long... when did...

There are so many of them now. A veritable army of souls, of all Ages and People's. Every armor and crest imaginable. They'd been so.. so REPULSED by Pariah... nothing else had mattered but to get AWAY. Where even ARE they? What YEAR is it? Does any of that matter?

The King.

Their Obsessions whisper. Loyalty. Service. Protection. Honor. You have left you post! Abandoned your DUTY! What are you DOING!?

They are AGHAST. They turn around at once. The King! How could they have ABANDONED the King!? Who is guarding him if they are all HERE?!

Himself!?

(Yes. Danny is fine. He is eating the "Thank You for keeping us all from dying to whatever the FUCK that was!" tamales Paulina's mom pushed into his arms on his way back home. He didn't even try arguing. He made eye contact and knew he would lose.)

(Why does he feel like something really, really bothersome is headed his way?)

It's UNACCEPTABLE. Unthinkable! The King? Unguarded? Where assassination attempts and nefarious PLOTS could occur?! What if someone tried to steal his eggs!? Or attacked him while his exoskeleton was molting!? They aren't entirely sure which species he is yet, but there are SO MANY NEFARIOUS PLOTS OUT THERE!!

*panicked honor guards*

Just? Imagine becoming king. And thinking "well, aside from the skeleton army I have to figure out, at least I don't have to manage anybody!" Only to *WABAM!* your ENTIRE GHOST COURT shows up like a week later. Turns out they were hiding from your predecessor.

You have a whole ass honor gaurd. Who REFUSE TO LEAVE YOUR SIDE. You have Chefs. Who WILL cry if you send them away. The Literal Best In The Multiverse are all following you around... YOU, a RANDOM TEENAGE, with Excited Shoujo Sparkles in their eyes... because you punched a jackass really, REALLY hard.

There is no way to make this stop. Your friends are laughing at you. The interior decorator wants you to look at swatches. What are swatches and why are you being harrased by them at 1am, you wonder? If you are Mean(tm) they throw themselves upon the floor and blame themselves for their Wicked, Evil, King-Upseting Ways and you can't even TELL if your being played here.

It's like being bullied by house elves. Or Miette.

Your parents are too excited by all the New Research (at least the reveal went well?) To SAVE THEIR SON, and your sister is HELPING THE ENEMY (Traitor!), so now you're being bullied into eating vegetables and studying more.

Then? THEN!! WHO SHOWS UP?! Like... five WEEKS late?! The Justice League. Gee! GREAT RESPONSE TIME, GUYS! Reeeal snappy! But ya, JUST missed the guy!

.......YES HES BEING SARCASTIC!!!

@hdgnj @stealingyourbones

[cosmerelists]

If the Stormlight Archive Novels Were Rewritten From a New Perspective...

I'm thinking here of, like, a Secret History type thing where the same events that are detailed in the regular SA novels are rewritten from the perspective of a character who didn't previously narrate them. Like a fun little set of novellas that Sanderson could probably write on his coffee break or something...

[Warning: Big Stormlight Archive spoilers throughout!!]

1. Way of Kings...as told by Sadeas

I don't think we really got any POV from Sadeas in Way of Kings, since that would have spoiled the whole "planning-to-betray-Dalinar" thing. So I think it would be pretty nifty to see those events from a Sadeas' POV. We'd get to see what kind of info was filtering up about Kaladin and Bridge 4--like, what DID Sadeas think when he heard that the random bridgeman tied up in the storm survived? What was the scene like after Kaladin's side carry ruined that battle and Sadeas decided to execute the lighteyes in charge?

And what was Sadeas' inner monologue like during his every interaction with Dalinar? I want to see Sadeas and Ialai plotting before every feast, and then hear Sadeas inwardly rolling his eyes while pretending that he's just working for the good of the kingdom, totally not undermining Dalinar, nope nope.

And I'd love to see Sadeas' thoughts during the scenes post-betrayal with, like, Navani coming into Sadeas' camp to set fire to the giant Justice glyph and Dalinar showing up to trade his shardeblade for the bridgemen. Give me the Sadeas/Ialai scene that evening plz.

2. Words of Radiance...as told by Renarin

Here again, we have a book where a POV must be omitted in order not to spoil the ending: in this case, the late-book reveal that Renarin is a Knight Radiant as well. And I'm sure I'm not alone in wanting to know what that whole book was like for Renarin!

How and when did Renarin meet Glys? What was the bonding like? How hard was it for Renarin to put on his armor & grab the screaming shardblade to join the 4 v. 1 duel to save his brother? Give me the angst of Renarin being convinced there there is something wrong with him, that he literally cannot fight the way he wants to even while he becomes a Radiant.

And um, what about scrawling the words on the walls during his dad's visions? I still want to know just how Renarin pulled that off without being noticed and also what the hell was he thinking?? I'd like to see him grapple with the angst of being a prophet in a world where that's sacrilegious, yet trying to pass the message anyway.

And just as a tiny note, does anybody else remember when Dalinar, Kaladin, and Shallan are having their We Are The Knights Radiant meeting at the top of Urithiru and then Renarin just like appears out of the shadows to be like "me too?" I kinda want to again know what he was thinking, lurking behind them literally all the way to the top before revealing himself at the most dramatic moment.

Anyway. I bet we'll get some of this in the Renarin book in the back half of Stormlight -- or at least, I hope so!

3. Oathbringer...as told by Jasnah

I bet you all are seeing the pattern here, ha ha! I think Jasnah's POV is restricted in Oathbringer because (a) she's supposed to be dead and (b) she knows about the humans being the actual Voidbringers and that can't be revealed immediately. But in a retelling, I'd love to see her tell-all.

What was that journey to Urithiru like with Wit? If we could get some flashbacks to her time in Shadesmar, that would be great, even though that's technically WOR again.

What was her inner monologue interacting with Shallan again? We know how it was for Shallan (suuuper awkward), but what did Jasnah think? What was it like to get to see Urithiru after she'd spent so much time researching it?

And it would be super interesting to get more of the relationship between Jasnah and her cousin Renarin. Like, when did Jasnah figure out that Renarin's spren was corrupted? When did she decide to kill him?

I think any and all extra Jasnah POVs from this period would be fascinating.

4. Rhythm of War...as told by Rlain

I was torn as to whether to have Rlain for Oathbringer or for Rhythm of War, but ultimately went with the latter. To be fair, we do get Rlain POV sections in ROW, but I want MORE.

If I remember correctly (it's been a minute since I last read ROW), we get a lot of Rlain's narrative from other characters' POV: like Kaladin or Venli interacting with Rlain and hearing about what he's been up to. Like "Oh yeah I've been spying and I found these maps" or "Oh yeah I've been working here with your family for a few days" and I want all of that to be told in long-form narrative please. ESPECIALLY Rlain hanging out with Kaladin's parents and little brother. I can't even remember anymore if him and Hesina being best friends is canon or fanon but I'd like to see it, plz.

I want to see more of Rlain being a spy, his angst about being in between Listeners and Humans, and his double agent heroism. I'd like to see more of his thoughts about Venli, maybe some flashbacks to his interactions among the Listeners back in the day.

And while I don't know if Renarin and Rlain interact at all really in ROW, I'll take any and all of Rlain's thoughts on Renarin and any scrap of interaction that could be woven in.

5. Bonus: Any Book...as told by Hesina

Honestly, I think a Hesina retelling of any of the 4 books would be awesome.

Way of Kings? We're gonna see the family interactions and the Roshone conflict from Hesina's perspective, not to mention the probably horrible aftermath of both of her sons being sent to war and then dying.

Words of Radiance? Uh...honestly I don't know what Hesina was up to during the events of that book but she had baby Oroden and I bet she was doing other stuff too.

Oathbringer? We get to see Kaladin's return from Hesina's perspective--Lirin was grumpy about him being a "killer" now, but I seem to recall that Hesina had awespren around her.

Rhythm of War? Let's see the move to Urithiru, settling in, her teasing Lirin about him worrying that surgeons won't be needed anymore... Plus, PLEASE give me Hesina's perspective on Kaladin's actions, on the invasion, on her very real and deep friendship with Rlain!

Yeah!

[rachetmath]

Why RWBY Ain't MC?

(Okay if you already seen this ('Jaune More MC Ruby? 'https://rachetmath.tumblr.com/post/744057722669039616/jaune-more-mc-ruby) Then you should know where this is going.)

Jaune: And that's what is wrong with your characters.

RWBY: *shocked* 

Ruby: Oh crap.

Weiss: Oh God…

Blake: My people…

Yang: I am a basic bitch?

Jaune: Yeah you girl's characters are all over the place. Not just that… you have so much screen time yet do nothing with it. You're basically side characters to your own stories. 

Yang: Not true.

Jaune: Yes true. Look let's start with Ruby.

Ruby: Me?

Jaune: Yeah, because some of my character issues should have been yours, like killing Penny for example. Considering that was suitable punishment for what you have done. You lied to James. You drove him off the rails. You and your team made the mess. 

Ruby: Um…

Jaune: But that's too easy. Let's really go down the shit hole. Ruby, you have silver eyes. Yet you barely use them. You never trained with them. We still know nothing about them. And we don’t know if they’ll work on Salem.

Ruby: um…

Jaune: And you know that would have been answered back at Atlas if you went on the battlefield. Speaking of Salem, why the hell would you put Ironwood someone more of my problem than Salem, if I recall knows who your mom is.

Ruby: Well I had to protect Penny.

Jaune: Mhmm. Okay. Speaking of your mom what did you learn about her in The Ever After?

Ruby: Um-

Jaune: Not much. Yeah. And again no villain besides Cinder and Neo were interested in you. Not even you are interested in them considering you barely remember them. Like Ruby, you don't do anything. Like you fast but slow in the head. Hell even Neo ganging up on you, you still didn't deserve it. I actually deserved it.

Ruby: How?

Jaune: Again Pyrrha died. Ozpin died. All because of me. And even if you killed Penny it's still going to feel like my fault because I could've prevented it.

Ruby: Oh no. 

Weiss: Jaune-

Jaune: Nope. Your turn. You are worse than your father.

Weiss: I-

Jaune: You talk about how your father does business but you don’t do business. Nor do you know how to run a business.

Weiss: I mean-

Jaune: You lied to your sister’s face. Your sister who trained you and made sure you were able to leave Atlas. You got Klien fired. You threatened your own brother.

Weiss: Um-. I-i

Jaune: Oh let’s not forget how you destroyed your home and now your family is broke.

Weiss: Well at least I’m a good teammate.

Jaune: Didn’t you almost divide your team about two times? Also, how is everyone insulting me when you barely win your fights?

Weiss: Not true.

Jaune: Flynt Coal.

Weiss: Luck.

Jaune: Vernal.

Weiss: I was rusty.

Jaune: More like spamming.

Weiss: We defeated the Ace-ops.

Jaune: Neo and Cinder. The ones who were supposed to be on the same level as them. Did you win?

Weiss: Shit.

Jaune: You know what I should mention this. In Argus, I must have been under some stress or high as a kite, because now that I think about it, the deal Cordoven gave us, wasn’t that bad.

Weiss: Jaune she was planning to send me back to my father.

Jaune: Alright, then instead of accepting those terms and going to face your father, basically lying claim to your life, you cowardly avoided him and let your friends be what scares him. Not you. In fact, you were willing to endanger yourself and thousands of people to avoid him.

Weiss: … … ….

Jaune: Look I understand you don’t have to face everything alone. But there are some moments you have to deal with alone. Instead of having to escape your father like last time, you could have returned, stood up to him, and left out the front door from which you came in. Why? Because that’s how much you care about your friends and your freedom that you won’t let anybody, especially a man you can easily crush into ground beef take from you.

Weiss: By god. I am my father. 

Jaune: Yeah. Blake.

Blake: *looks at him*

Jaune: Blake, I would be concerned for my people if I were you.

Blake: Why?

Jaune: Well-

Me: Nope. Nope. I’ll explain. Blake, you remember the hound right?

Blake: Yeah.

Blake: A silver-eyed person.

Me: Look at his head.

Blake: “Look at his head”? I mean I see- oh. Oh my god.

Me: Yeah. A faunus. People who have animal-like features.  Again with silver eyes, we know nothing. But Faunuses on the other hand, we know where this could lead to.

Blake: Oh no.

Me: And you single-handedly divided the White Fang. And if hunters or people start siding with Salem, what does that mean for the Faunuses who are now venerable because of you?

Blake: Oh GOD! What have I done?!

Me: I mean I started questioning whether you cared about your people or not. Considering you didn’t bother staying in Mantle to protect them. You trust a criminal more than an official officer or hunter. Even though Robyn was doing the same crap Adam and Roman were doing. Good job.

Blake: *crying*

Me: Now for you.

Yang: Me?

Me: Yes. I never thought I come back for your ass. But here we are. Now then, what the fuck did Raven tell you to do?

Yang: Um.

Me: The same thing your father was telling you to do. Think. Don’t just follow orders. Don’t just act. Think! 

Yang: I did but-

Me: You didn’t think it through.

Yang: Look trusting Robyn-

Me: When you confronted Robyn what was your plan afterwards?

Yang: Um-

Me: Remember you didn’t tell her everything so she was still skeptical. She was tearing James a new one. So what was the point?!

Yang: Um-

Me: I mean, how were you going to chop Ruby off when ultimately you are more at fault than she is?

Yang: Um.

Me: Like at least Ruby was trying to lower the tension. You as per-fucking-usual added way more fuel to an already heated fire.

Yang: Well-

Me: I already mentioned how you are the biggest hypocrite, a simp and horrible sister. Now I might as well say you are the weakest link in your team– no, your squad.  

Yang: Hey-

Me: You've been losing fights.

Yang: Name-

Me: Mercury.

Yang: I beat him.

Jaune: Wasn’t that part of the plan to set you up though?

Yang: Yeah but-

Me: Round two, what happened then?

Yang: They double-teamed me.

Me: Before that you couldn’t land hit on him.

Yang: … … Adam.

Me: 2 v 1. He wasn’t even at his best. Bro was in his feelings.

Yang: The Ace-ops-

Me: Marrow, for one, could’ve ended that fight before it started. Second weren’t they arguing half the battle? Also didn’t Elm have your partner and for “reasons” she decided to let Blake go? Selling the match.

Yang: A win is a win.

Me: Okay Salem. Did you stand your ground and fight?

Yang: Um. Tactical retreat?

Me: She wasn’t even putting in effort. The cat.

Yang: I mean-

Me: Kilgore.

Yang: He does not count.

Me: Neo and Cinder. Again, on Ace-op level.

Yang: Come on, man, she-

Me: A win is a win right? So if you get a ring out or fall that is not victory. Neo won. Two to Zero.

Yang: … … …

Me: Raven… Raven trusted the lamp to you. Not Ruby. You! And you just… you just lost it like that. You fumbled- you fumbled so bad. And what’s crazy is I mentioned how you searched for the deadbeat instead of your “real mom” but it seems Raven is a better mom than Summer now. How? Not only is she alive. She knows what happened to Summer. And she saved your ass so many times. Three times.

Yang: Not-

Me: The train. Your first defeat.

Yang: … ….

Me: I’m not going to count Adam. But she let you leave her tribe camp alive, with your friend no less, knowing full well she didn’t have to help you especially when you came to her and was ready to fight when she wouldn’t give you what you wanted.

Yang: …. …. 

Me: And she let you walk with the relic. She could’ve killed you two times. But she didn’t. Why? Because whether she likes it or not, you are her DAUGHTER! And she LOVES you! 

Yang: Um…

Me: I hope- I hope Raven puts her hands on you because you earned the most savage ass whipping alive.  You basic bitch.

Yang: *shocked*

Me: Anyways y'all had plenty of opportunities to make your characters good. You all were given a good amount of screen time, however, the writers don't allow you to face your problems, shield you from consequences, and try so hard to prove you are always in the right all the time that you all might as well be Mary Sue. The worst kind of Mary Sue. The do no wrong type of Mary Sue.

Jaune: Damn. 

Me: Jaune, bro, I hope you survive this cause I still stand by this the writers did you dirty man. You didn't deserve that man. You didn't- you didn't deserve that. You and your team deserve better. 

[crownmemes]

Spy Sentences, Vol. 23

(Sentences from various sources for spies and/or secretive muses. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"We need to deal with this before it gets out of hand."

"You thought I was dead, didn't you?"

"You don't do a very good job of hiding your interest."

"Do you have a plan, or are we just improvising here?"

"Don't worry, he's one of us."

"If you plan on exposing me, then my only option will be to kill you."

"I always have the feeling that there's somebody listening who shouldn't be."

"You can't play a player."

"You shouldn't be so clean. It's a dead giveaway that you don't belong, you always being tidy."

"I won't ever tell anybody anything, don't worry."

"Assuming I survive, I shall telephone to let you know."

"Are you forgetting you tried to kill me?"

"How did you know I'd come here?"

"If you really must know, I'm here because I damn well don't trust anybody else!"

"What are you doing here? I never thought for a second that you would be stupid enough to come!"

"I don't care to have my secrets exposed to the world. Can you understand that?"

"Were you spying on me?"

"I hear you've been looking for me. I'm flattered."

"I need you to understand that whatever you think, there is a distinct possibility that he's manipulating you."

"You must never underestimate me, nor I you."

"I've been shot too many times to be scared by a gun."

"I'm just going to come out and say it; I don't trust you. I sure as hell don't want you here."

"Shoot him, but don't kill him."

"Remember when we had that conversation about how you were going to lay low?"

"Secrets are not my concern. Keeping them is."

"We all have our secrets - even me. Especially me."

"Does anyone know you're here?"

"You are not as charming as you think you are."

"Do you have any idea how many enemies I have out there?"

"I didn't plan on going out like this."

"It occurs to me that I don't know the first thing about you."

"You've gone soft. We're going to fix that, for your own benefit."

"It feels good, doesn't it? To fly home having got the bad guy, just like in the movies."

"You gave me an empty gun?"

[littlefangbanger]

True Blood Vampires w/ a Human Mate

Pairing(s): Eric; Pam; Godric; x GN!Reader

CW: Vague mentions of sex, violence, etc... Come on, it's True Blood. Mentions of Luke (suicide bomber). Some fluff. Lots of rambling.

Notes: Only on season 4 right now, so I'm sure I'm missing some good characters. Didn't do Bill but if anybody wants a second version of this just ask. I'm open to requests so feel free to send me asks!

Eric Northman

This man only uses humans for three things: feeding, fucking and as a means to an end. If they didn't offer anything useful, they didn't interest him. That was, until you.

Ngl it took this man a long time to recognize his own feelings. It took Pam calling him out to realize he was starting to feel something almost human. Love?

You heard him say it, don't use words he doesn't understand.

Anyways, at first he thought he was just attracted to you due to your blood. He hadn't actually tasted it yet but it was tempting nonetheless.

You were with them at Godric's nest when the suicide bomber attacked. You were further away from Luke than Sookie and Eric, but you were still human.

Eric was the one who pulled the debris out of you and fed you his blood. That was the moment he started to come to terms with his own feelings. He wasn't going to lose you.

This man will protect you from EVERYTHING, vampire or not. If it's a vampire of all things threatening your safety, in his area, well... bless their cold non-beating hearts.

Remember that episode where Lafayette is in the basement, and Eric lets out that inhuman growl while tearing that other man apart? Yeah, he does that.

He's not affectionate at first, especially not in public. If he does hold you it is because you managed to piss him off by talking to other vampires at Fangtasia. So he keeps you where he knows nobody will come after you: in his lap.

Man is probably touch starved. Please offer him a hug when you're alone. It'll be strange for him at first but he secretly loves it.

I think his primary love languages are mostly acts of service and quality time. He wants you to worship the ground he walks on, much like he does you.

Passionate kisses. Rough sex. It's rare for anything to be slow or gentle with him.

He is down for anything really. Just say the word.

Listen, he's not a gentleman. Not unless you explicitly ask for it. He's gonna be rough with almost everything. But he tries for you.

You can try to take control if you want... but just know you're not actually in control. He's just offering you an opportunity to feel like you are.

The moment you get a little too cocky, he'll remind you that he is the thousand year old vampire. He overpowers you easily.

He wants you to become a vampire, but doesn't say anything at first. He actually starts to value your humanity. It keeps him grounded.

That doesn't change the fact that you can't stay human forever. In your current state you are simply too fragile. It was too easy for you to be ripped away from him.

He won't turn you yet, though. He'll wait until you're ready, or until he has no choice.

Pamela Swynford de Beaufort

Eric is the only being that has managed to capture and keep Pam's attention. So your relationship was a slow burn made in hell.

At first she only saw you as another pathetic human that stuck their nose in vampire business too much. You were one of Sookie's dearest friends, and one that seemed to always be involved in her foolish antics.

Much like Sookie, you sympathize with vampires. You actually started to visit Fangtasia as a casual guest.

That's how you managed to capture Pam's attention. Your regular visits always seemed to spark something that resembled joy in her.

Your personality meshed well with hers. Pam is a smart-ass and even more cunning. Your dark humor and equally witty personality amused her.

Eventually you two developed a sort of... arrangement. You offered her your blood, and sex of course, and she offered you protection from the degenerates at Fangtasia.

She did find your blood quite tasty, so she agreed to this.

She claimed you. So nobody else could touch you. Eric didn't care as long as you didn't distract her from her duties.

After some months of seeing each other, Pam started to realize that she was becoming way too attached to you.

It was almost as if she was... in love? No, absolutely not.

She was harsh with you for some time, but eventually started to warm up.

Her primary love languages are acts of service and gift giving. Shower her with quality makeup, jewelry and other gifts. She loves being spoiled.

She'll do the same for you, so expect some rather pricey gifts.

When it comes to sex she prefers being dominant, but if you ask nicely she may let you take that role instead.

Will praise and degrade you at the same time. Just be a good pet for her, yeah?

I feel like she would want to turn you into a vampire asap. She doesn't like knowing that you could die from almost anything.

You don't mind, though. You quite like the idea of being a vampire.

Godric

Godric is one of the few vampires who holds some level of compassion towards humans. So, I feel like it wouldn't take as much for him to fall in love with one.

This compassion is, however, a result of being two thousand years old. He's had a lot of time to get around, but somehow I'm convinced he's never been in love like that.

Sure, he knows something like love for his progenies. But romantic? I just don't think that's something he thought about until recently. It would probably take him some time to recognize what he's feeling.

You met the night Sookie was held hostage by the Fellowship of the Sun. You had arrived with Eric to save him and Sookie.

Godric was intrigued by your compassion for vampires. You? A human, there to help save him? It was almost too good to be true, but then again some could say the same about his compassion towards humans.

You were with them at his house that night, celebrating his return. He had been watching you; how you mingled with the vampires as if they were human. You didn't give anybody permission to drink from you, much to Godric's pleasure.

When the suicide bomber attacked, he shielded you. The impact still hurt but you were free of any life-threatening injuries.

In return, you talked him out of meeting the true death. You stood with him on the top of that roof and convinced him that although things are hard, and he has a lot to atone for, there is still much to live for (even if he technically isn't alive).

He claimed you to protect you from other vampires after that. He knew how brutal and beast-like many vampire are. Most understood what it means to claim a human though, so if they knew you were Godric's they wouldn't touch you.

Deep talks. I feel like over time he'd open up about some of the things from his past that bothers him, and how his mental health is. You always listened and reassured him that he has changed for the better.

The only other vampire he would trust to be alone with you is Eric. Eric wouldn't dare touch what is Godric's and often finds himself looking after you when Godric is too busy with vampire stuff.

Quality time and words of affirmation would be his love languages. Please please please shower him with compliments and reassurance. He won't admit it in front of others but he loves it.

Honestly he's sweet all around. In all scenarios. He worships the ground you walk on and will treat you like royalty. That means in bed too.

He's constantly afraid of losing you. As much as he loves your humanity, he's painfully aware of how fragile you are in your current state.

In his two thousand years Godric has developed a great deal of patience and self-control, but the moment you are threatened by another vampire or otherwise non-human... he's not afraid to showcase what he's capable of.

He would never turn you unless you want him to. Even then, I feel like you would really need to convince him that you want that. Honestly you may have to wait until he is ready, because he is conflicted with the idea.

[tr-mha-fan]

Im tired of seeing all these Takemichi haters, so here's a little something that might change your mind

Idk if I can get everything in my mind down here, but it's better than nothing

⚠️ MANGA SPOILER WARNING ⚠️

Hygiene

Everybody hates on Takemichi for his poor hygiene and dirty apartment in the future, but I don t think they understand the fact that he's depressed. Cleanliness doesn't matter to anybody who's depressed, to them, there's no point in life, they want to die, so why should they clean up anyway? Now, before you say, 'why TF was he depressed? He hadn't even started time traveling yet!' let me explain this to you. Takemichi was beat up and used as a slave most of his childhood by people he barely even knew, he ran away from home as soon as he graduated middle school, and started living in his own and working as much as he could to be able to afford a place to stay and some food. He watched his friends die in front of him, hell, Draken died in his arms!! Now, please don't tell me If you were in his place you wouldn't have gotten depressed.

2. Weak

Alright, this one really gets on my nerves. Everybody is always complaining about how Takemichi is so weak and he's a bad mc, these people obviously don't understand the point of the ENTIRE show. The literal theme (thanking ELA class rn) of TR is that 'You don't need muscles to be a hero'. Takemichi is supposed to be weak because he's not your regular, run of the mill Hero. He reminds everyone of Shinichiro because of his weakness and determination. You CANNOT hate on Takemitchy but not hate on Shin because their personalities are literally one and the same!! Now, ik this is gonna sound like some My Little Pony shit, but literally, Takemichi's 'strength' comes from his friends who are always there for him!

3. Stupidity

Alright, same as above, Takemitchy is supposed to be stupid, that's his point. I won't elaborate.

4. Character Development

Alright, this is the one that annoys me the most. You'd find that most of the people who hate on Michi for not getting enough character development are anime-only fans. I want you guys to understand the the anime is still ongoing. Takemitchy's MAIN development happens in the non-animated parts of the Manga. Please finish a series before judging, PLEASE. Not only that, but Takemitchy does get some development in the animated parts too! Going from somebody who doesn't want to live, to somebody who wants to save his girlfriend and stay alive for her is development! Going from an idiot who can't even stand up in front of opponents, to someone who can withstand a beating (from Taiju nonetheless!!) and throw a few punches is development! It's not much, it's not big, but it's still there!

5. Crybaby

Don't tell me if you were Takemichi, you wouldn't be a crybaby. He lived an awful life, and when he got the ability to relive and change it, he kept on seeing his girlfriend, bestfriend, and all his friends dying in front of him. You can't expect him to not become a crybaby because what he went through is TOO MUCH for any regular person! And its also part of his personality

6. Unloyal

Ok, I understand why some people hate him for this. Sure, he was in the karaoke with Emma, but that was past Michi and not future Michi, future Michi panicked and left as fast as he could. He didn't want to cheat on Hina!! And Senju, he didn't know she was a girl, he just went along thinking he'd just be some random gofer to this guy. The other time, at amusement park, he wanted to make sure she won't die after he saw that vision (I don't remember if he agreed to it before or after getting the vision, but you get it)

[an-obsessed-cactus]

I think i may be asexual?!

(okay this got longer than expected and i wanted to stop talking cuz ppl won't read it if it's so long and then i realized I'm not here to please anybody and i just wanna process some stuff so. yeah. also i come to realizations farther down that contradict some stuff from the beginning but I'll just leave my whole thought process here)

fun. um. I've realized I'm not straight two years ago and then started learning more about all things LGBT related and think myself educated enough on this topic but.

I've been pondering my sexuality and gender identity again more in recent days and. today i randomly stumbled across a yt video where the author (are you an author on yt? my brain is glitching rn)(also the 'author' in question is @jaidenanimationsofficial wonderful videos love the animation and the humor) talks about being aroace. few hours pass, my stomach hurts like hell so i go to lay down and sleep a bit, wake up and have a realization.

i googled again what asexuality is and read some more on this. i did this before and i guess i didn't see myself in it? so i kinda crossed it off the list of possible identities. i guess because i do want to have sex. i think. I'm not opposed to it and i get horny lmao. but that's only with fictional characters and works? like i just think: that was very sexy of you. but in a platonic way?! sex doesn't cross my mind. (also can you get aroused by music? or a good written work? or movie? like not even the characters but the work itself?) sorry i dunno I'm confused.

anyway i got a bit off track. what i wanted to say was that i suddenly remembered a convo i had with my sister a while ago where we talked about what is the difference between friendship and a romantic relationship. and she said it's that u wanna have sex with them and i was like ... i don't really think that's it...

and like. i get crushes i think. but I've never experienced this want to have sex with a particular person at least that i could remember. like a want to have sex? i guess yeah i mean not rlly sth i think about much but it's not unprecedented(see: i get horny)

honestly I'm not even sure anymore if im not aromantic as well. cuz queerplatonic sounds more like my jam?

like i felt(feel?) like omnisexual described me well because i think I'd be attracted to who the person is at their core. what if ur straight as a girl, date a boy, and then it turns out he's trans? i dunno i feel like gender isn't this fixed thing which then kinda creates problems when labeling urself with a certain sexuality. aaaa people came irl and i lost my train of thought. um. i feel like labeling myself anything other than omnisexual would feel limiting. even if i never developed a crush on a girl for example (i did), i still feel like i could potentially. like there's nothing stopping me. why shouldn't I?

OKAY SO

that was written yesterday. it is now today and i have a whole lot of new thoughts and realizations.

I had a bit of a marathon with @jaidenanimationsofficial videos and i came across an older one she mentioned in the previous one i watched about being aroace(ik it's a mess) about how she couldn't understand why when romantic feelings are not mutual people don't just continue being friends. and i was like EXACTLY WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?! and um. ahem. do u really see it as a problem? I guess if everyone does. but I'm starting to seriously consider if I'm aroace as well which woah there. this happened in a span of a day and I'm not sure it's real and it doesn't feel real? some time will have to pass for me to check out this theory cuz. ppl often say they felt like there was sth wrong with them and then they discovered these terms and were like aHA that's it! that explains everything! and I didn't... have that? and I'm not sure to what extent i identify with aroace because reasons(ill talk about some of it below). and I'm not saying that not having this realization moment or not feeling like sth is wrong with me through my life devalidates my orientation and stuff but it makes me doubt i guess?

i also came to an important discovery that aroused and horny are not the same. who would have thought?! I said above i get horny but apparently being horny means to want to have sex. and i just get the physical part aka arousal. fun. someone help pls im so confused.

okay for the last part(which prolly won't be the last part but one can hope right?)

i said i realized i wasn't straight two years ago. that was when i realized i like my best friend as more than i friend. well it wasn't exactly that simple. tbh i think Lucifer(the series i am NOT a satanist) helped a lot with that? like i knew about some lgbt stuff before because I'm alive on this planet but it kinda made me think about a lot of stuff, and between that stuff was my sexuality as well. idk. it's not like i had a crush on any of the female characters. just got me thinking for some reason. like why is having sex with people you're not romantically involved with wrong? why is prostitution wrong if u enjoy it and get money for it and it's well managed and secure? but that's beside the point.

well anyway I didn't know what i felt towards my bff(I'll say bff cuz bf also stands for boyfriend so it feels weird) but it felt like more than friendship. didn't feel like sth romantic tho. then i discovered queerplatonic relationships exist and i was like i think that's it! and then new school year came i saw her again and doubts flared up. again there was never i wanna have sex with her, but there was an occasional i wanna kiss her. and she was so important to me so it has to be romantic love right?! romance is the highest form of love one can experience afterall! nothing whatsoever can compare to it!! it feels ✨magical✨ when you find you will finally be completed!!! anyways.

it felt like romantic love was the only thing that could justify me feeling this way. i won't go deeper into this because i already have a draft where i do(i have like 16 drafts with uncompleted rambles so...) I'll try to post it but. i told her and we're still good friends! it actually made me closer to the rest of my friend group(which i was only a part of on the paper before)(i was so focused on my bff before I didn't really do group) because i felt a bit distanced from her for a while(she's a people pleaser like me and even tho i think i can read her well im paranoid and i thought she may feel weird?). anyways i got close with 3 other amazing ppl in the meantime and my friendship with my bff hasn't suffered!

but between my feelings being kinda realized and me telling her a whole year has passed and in the end i wasn't even sure what i was feeling anymore just that i didn't want her not to know. idk.

now im wondering what it was. even back then half year pre confession i was thinking if it was just because someone was finally paying attention to me. i didn't really do friends before (i kinda had them but there were no deep convos or shared secrets) and then there was suddenly this person who genuinely enjoys spending time with me! and listens to my problems! and weird obsessions! this sounds kinda sad put like this ngl lmao. but this was the first time I had that deep connection with someone. two years in my confused feelings came. geez i got off track again. point is i thought i was straight up until then and then had a crisis cuz i thought i only liked her cuz she was giving me attention cuz i was straight goddamit! ANYWAYS.

this post has lost all direction. it is a frustrated ramble of a very confused person. let us continue

i will just sum up how i feel about genders and people because I'm a chronic oversharer. oops doops.

men: find them aesthetically pleasing, all celebrity crushes are in this category (there's only one really but if i found a celebrity attractive like not objectively but to me it was a man), i would also get kinda crushes on boys my age when i spent 5 minutes with them. don't ask. i think it's dopamine mining(i suspect i have adhd). im not used to male company and i kinda don't like it that much but the the ?butterflies? are still there. tbh i don't really know what to do with men. doesn't stop me from having crushes tho. i don't have any real desire to be in a romantic relationship with men. i don't exclude the possibility but i haven't found one i would want it with. i also don't know now to interact with them. let alone flirt. actually flirt in general. it feels like it would be cringe and belongs in bad movies.

women: freaking amazing!! love them! no celebrity crushes, one irl crush which might have moved beyond crush(i suspected the L word for a while) to friends or it might have never been a crush in the first place! help! now there's another friend outside of my friend group who i may like. or i just enjoy her company? im not used to this yet. i forgot i think im aroace. this is killing me.

nonbinary/other genders: I haven't met any yet. there are some on discord servers im a part of but I don't really interact much just lurk there. i think irl experience would be different anyway.

someone please explain sth to me. you have sexual attraction okay get that(not really but that's not the point). but then there's romantic attraction. how do you separate that from friendship? just this intense feelings of wanting to be with them at all times? okay myb myb let's say u can separate them from friendship. what about queerplatonic? guys??

i am starting to dislike labels. this is confusing.

also i gotta figure this romantic thing out cuz im writing a fantasy series and there's romance involved lol.

okay so i guess i am at least asexual cuz i don't see ppl and go 'i wanna have sex with them'. i am not yet thoroughly convinced im aromantic as well but we'll see about that ig. because i still don't understand what the difference between romance and deep friendship is. aghhh

although if i can't tell the difference myb that answers the question.

also how does someone who is asexual but romantically attracted to all genders label themselves? like omnisexual ig doesn't work cuz it omnisexual.

i went to google aromantic and.

"demiromantic people have romantic attraction only after forming an emotional bond with another person."

HOW ELSE DO YOU HAVE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION??? Isn't this about who the person is?! Do you just see them and go: oh this must be such a good person. what?

like i understand sexual attraction when you see someone ig. but romantic? i really need someone to explain this to me in depth. i haven't even been asking the right questions.

"Quoiromantic people can't tell the difference between romantic and platonic attractions." Welp i guess i have a new label i can stick on myself. also the name is killing me. (quoi=what in french💀)

(edit: well this thing just posted itself. I DIDN'T HIT POST WTF. but it's out there now. ig it had enough of me adding new and new thoughts. im inclined to agree)

[unusuallysweetaki]

Real Quick Yap Session About Everett and His Relationships

So starting off I want to give all the credit to my friend Ayumu on Discord for most if not all of this post. She studies how people's brains work and made me think super deeply about the XOD boy's actions and such. In short this post and my realization wouldn't be happening without her.

Also want to mention that some of this is head canon and not confirmed by GB Patch, but A LOT of it is SPOILERS, so beware!

Now let's get into it!

Everett's Dad:

Everett's relationship with his dad isn't super apparent if you don't date him, in fact I don't even think he mentions his father without you dating him. I do remember a group meeting where the Jerks talked about their relationships with their families, but I can't remember Everett making any comment about his dad (only the mama boy stuff pls feel free to correct me if I'm wrong). Ofc if you end up doing his route, he mentions it. Though not much and not in detail.

I believe it's the Love Tunnel date where we get a little more of Everett's perspective of his father. All he really says though is that his father is an asshole. So at the very least we know he doesn't like him.

Luckily tumblr exists and Gb Patch was not shy about sharing answers to the many questions we have about the boys and how Everett's dad was at parenting was answered!

So Everett's dad is not emotionally present. Explaining why Everett gives all the genuine affection to his mom or Nate. His mom is very clearly the more affectionate of the pair and reciprocates Everett's love, as a mom should. And Nate has been Everett's friend since forever.

Even though Eve doesn't mention his father often, him being distant still impacted him to a pretty great extent in my opinion. Based on the people Everett chooses to show genuine interest in. Consciously or Unconsciously, forming a bit of an unhealthy attachment style.

Nate Lawson:

How Nate and Eve's relationship actually started is basically only told through dating Nate and going through his Fuchsia dates. Luckily, I'm on a speed run of all the guys routes and just finished Nate's so the conversations are still fresh in my mind.

In short Everett and Nate weren't really friends until Everett wore Nate down enough to where Nate basically had no choice but to accept Everett's presence.

Nate is very emotionally driven, unlike Mr. Gray. Despite being basically the only jerk you can date that shows actual, genuine emotions, he's terrified of intimacy. Even though he is considered popular by the school, he doesn't seem to have many friends (hence why he's in the Jerk Squad in the first place) because he rarely let's anybody into his life. I'd argue even his parents aren't included.

So how does all this relate to Mr. Gray and Everett's attachment style? Well here's where the trend starts. Everett deliberately hung around a guy that didn't seem to actually want him around. He did it long enough and relentlessly enough for Nate Lawson to give up.

I'm sure not even Everett realized this, hell this might not even be on purpose, considering how the game doesn't really touch the topic outside of some dates, but if you think on it a little more, how do you think kids would act when they want their emotionally distant parents attention? Making a scene is one and following them around constantly is another.

Now this is where we jump into a bit of head canon. We don't know how Everett acted with his father when he was smaller. For all we know he could've completely ignored his dad and only focused on his mom for the majority of his childhood, since she was the only one actually showing him affection.

Taking the ask into account though, it sounds like Lauren and Eve had tried at some point to spend time with their father, but he just never saw the point in it, so they gave up.

Pran Taylor:

Pran is different from Nate and Mr. Gray ofc because Eve had a more romantic interest in him. But still Everett's way of trying to get close to someone again is essentially following them around constantly until they accept his presence.

Considering Pran didn't seem too miffed about it, things probably would've worked out if not for Jeremy. If Nate gave in there's no doubt Eve would've been able to ware Pran down too lol.

The end!

TL;DR

Everett's way of getting into people's lives is by following them around until they accept his friendship, and I find that a little sad considering what that could imply little kid Everett thought he had to do to get his fathers attention. I think this being something he unconsciously does because of childhood is just such an interesting idea to me.

The talk me and my friend had really made me think about how much attention Everett needs just to function. Calling his mom constantly, staying popular, dating around. It just adds this extra angst to him that I can relate to.

If you made it to this point, thank you! Feel free to tell me what you think, I love having deep discussions like these! And I love talking about the Issue's Jerk Squad!

[rosebarry16]

~~~~~~ 2 o'clock hook up~~~~~~

(adler x male bell)

Warning : Smut, strong language, alcohol

Also this isn't my first time writing but I just got an idea and here we are and Iam so sorry if it's terrible, I tried my best and I'll do better in the future :')

Enjoy :3

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

It's 2 A.M and everyone was asleep except for two human beings, they couldn't sleep nor feel like they wanna close their eyes.

Bell couldn't sleep because of memories and flashbacks are hunting him since the brainwash process occured.

"shit.." he sat and held his head, feeling the temperature rise. It hurts him too much that he wished someone would be near him to comfort him from pain,

he couldn't take it anymore. He got up from his bed and exited the bedroom, he felt dizzy but ignored it and went downstairs to the kitchen.

The kitchen was nothing but dark as moon light takes over the place, bell went to the counter and picked up the phone. He dialed the number and hesitated to call but he dialed it anyway

*On the other hand*

Adler was in the dark living room smoking a cigarette, watching out the window. He got distracted when the phone started to ring. He answered it

"hello?"

"oh..hey, I didn't know you we're still awake."

"yeah I'm still awake, why are you up so late?"

"I'm getting flashbacks again and it's hurting me so bad, what about you?"

"just stress or some kinda shit"

"uh...i was wondering if you would hang out and maybe drink or whatever"

"sure, give me a minute or two"

"no adler, don't worry I'm coming to pick you up"

"you sure?"

"yes I'm sure"

"then I'll see you" he hanged up the phone and waited for bell to arrive, 30 minutes passed and someone pulled up in front of his house. Adler looked outside then took his jacket and headed to the car, he looked at him and drove of.

They were in the car. Gazing at the ocean waving, bell decided to break the silence "how long haven't you been sleeping?" he asked "I do sleep but 2-3 hours then I wake up, even if it was too early I can't go back to sleep" adler explained and bell nodded in understandment but at least adler doesn't get kept from sleeping from over thinking or flashbacks.

"although I should be asking that question bell." adler looked at him as he took a sip of whiskey "these memories and flashbacks are fucking me up, it's a pain in this ass they won't let me sleep. I don't remember the last time I slept without feeling anything" adler got closer to bell and continued to listen

"I just can't go on with this, I'm tired. What hurts me alot no one is with me to bear my pain and I'm so lonely...like..." bell struggled to go on so he smoked and his eye got back to the bluse ocean.

Adler's hand climbed bell's hand and squeeze his fingers underneath bell's palm "I can be there to protect you" bell didn't believe his words at first but kinda felt like adler cares about him more then anyone

More then park, Sims, lazar or Mason and woods

Hell, he's in love with him but he just treat him like anybody else in front of everybody, that's the outside but on the inside.

He'd do anything to protect him, guilt is growing inside of him but he has to do what he does to bell for avoiding perseus from destroying Europe and get informations related to the locations they want to know about.

"bell, I'm not sure how to tell you this but I can make the pain go away" bell smiled like adler just told him a joke and kept drinking

"you can't"

"what if I told you I'm capable of doing it?"

"prove it blondie"

"Your challenging me?"

"yeah and since I'm a bit drunk, I bet you don't know how to make me busy"

"oh yeah? Let's go back to your place and I'll show you"

Bell started the engine and drove away, while driving adler noticed bell has a boner since they argued. He acted like nothing happened and waited until they pulled up to bell's house.

Adler and bell got upstairs as they're making out, adler pushed him to the bed and got on top of him, their tongue were fighting and bell's hands slowly went to adler's ass, they stopped to take a breath and pulled away but his saliva is mixed with bell's.

"come on, show me what you got"

Adler unbottened bell's pants and took out his hard like rock cock, at first he started to lick the tip softly then got into his mouth. Going back and forth and looking up at bell who moans and placing his hand on adler's blonde hair, he got going crazy by controling his tongue underneath his cock and stroking him while sucking.

"adler I think I'm gonna-"

"not yet bell"

He did not want to end it without feeling his cock throbbing in his throat, bell couldn't take it and went deeper until he reached adler throat. Making him choke but that's not it.

After the deepthroat, bell got alot hornier and ready to fuck the shit of him, he grabbed adler's hips and began to rub his hard cock against his ass. Adler didn't really want to be teased so he got idea of making bell go in, his moans and grouns were driving him insane

He begged him as he was going in and out, adler grabbed the bed sheets from how pleasure is getting to harder and more stronger. Bell started to stroke him,

"oh fuck! Ahh~" he was too sexy to keep going on teasing but bell kept thrusting hard "bell your so big, tear me apart!"

adler begged and kept making lewd sounds but as soon as he wanted to continue he felt a bash into his hole, he started to thrust.

"keep fucking me, fuck me like you're using me..just like I used you"

"I'm gonna break you so hard"

"come on motherfucker, that's what you got?"

Bell got more harder and harder, his right hand gasped adler's neck but since hearing his moans and beggings he has to cum

"I'm gonna c-cum!"

"cum in me bell, that's it. Fill me up you useless russian cunt~"

He took his last thrust and cummed into adler's hole, adler on the other hand felt bell's thick cum filled his hole as he was cumming.

They were covered in cum and saliva. Goddamn...late night fucking was the best,

"I told you"

"that's was amazing..you really proved it "

Bell held adler close, they kissed and one more time and drefted to sleep.

The end...

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. Does anybody know the name or have a copy of this fanfic where I believe lwj is a Lord and he has 5 wives. I believe wwx was the 2nd wife and lwj didn't really notice him until one day he saw him playing with the other wives children. And I think one of the wives either the 1st or 3rd tried to kill him for favor. @teamironman98

~*~

2. hello! I’m looking for a certain wangxian fic that crosses over with the tgcf world i think? Anyways it’s an au where wei ying is a former prince turned calamity and lan wangji is continuously reincarnating but a piece of his soul isn’t with him. I think there was a saying in the fic that goes “If you see a path of spiderlilies you’ll meet someone again.”

Anyways thank you for your time!

FOUND? A Path of Red Spider Lillies by glowingreverie (M; 208k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, hualian, TGCF fusion, angst w happy ending, comedy, mild sexual content, gore, death, past child abuse, supernatural elements, slow burn, WIP)

~*~

3. Hello, I'm trying to find a fix where WWX was raised by a family of prostitutes that eventually free themselves of their contract and made a living teaching their arts. One of them married a rogue cultivator that makes jewelry and taught it to WWX. Eventually he meets LWJ and they get together relatively quick. WWX never gets that much involved with the Jiang Sect other than saving it during the war and JC loses his core and never got involved in the war. @justscribblingnonsense​

FOUND? Flowers Blooming by Ilona22 (M, 35k, WangXian, Adoption, Prostitution, Family Fluff, Family Drama, Growing Up)

~*~

4. Hi can you help me find a fic about wangxian.. is that wei ying want work shop for all his crazy idea.. and wangji said make a space place in his arm sleeve because wei ying will safe with him... and wangji put his head down there to make sure it was safe for wei ying. To breath.. And I think later wei ying head pop out and kiss.

FOUND? My heart in my sleeve by exmanhater (G, 2k, WangXian, Crack, Qiankun Sleeves, Sleeve Husband, LWJ's Fondest Dream, Let LWJ Spoil His Husband, Post-Canon)

~*~

5. Hi! I'm hoping someone can help, please! I'm looking for a fic like The Yu Temper by madwriter223, where shortly after WWX frees the Wens from Qiongqi Path, JC decides instead to hell with it, flips, and promptly decides to start aggressively supporting WWX instead, along the lines of 'who are you to tell me what to do?!', resulting in the Wens being rehomed in Lotus Pier. This particular fic has JC swearing every sentence, even in his head, and potentially endgame Wangxian and Chenqing. I can't remember much more than that, I'm afraid but I'd be happy to receive any similar recs if you would rather make this a ITMF request instead! @katonahottinroof

Might be one of snowberryrose's 🤔

FOUND! With Such Impossible Conveyance by Comfect (T, 99k, JC & WWX, wangxian, JC/WQ, major character death, canon divergence, fix-it, angst w happy ending, anger management, canon-typical behavior, swearing, fluff, romance, everyone lives au, humor, podfic)

~*~

6. Hello - I’m trying to find a fic on the archive where Lan Zhan has full memories as a child and leaves cloud recesses and takes his mother with him. Then succeeds at finding Wei ying as a street child.

Eventually there is an entire Wei sect and wangxian ends up with a ton of kids via several women including wen quin. @soconfuzed​

FOUND? The Dreams of Youth by sami (E, 86k, wangxian, time travel, fix-it, family, not lan sect friendly, canon typical violence & gore, childhood friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, mothers who live, some people live/not everyone dies)

~*~

7. Hello! I’m hoping you can help me find this fic. I remember so much about it apart from the name and tore through my bookmarks with no luck. It was a modern AU where WWX was a celebrity of some sort (idol/actor) and LWJ was a pet store owner. The two end up crossing paths and end up falling in love. I vividly remember the two of them going out with A-Yuan & being swamped by paparazzi and another scene where WWX is at a modeling shoot and LWJ steps in to help. I think it came out around 2021-ish? @heedoyurims

FOUND? I think number 7 is off-key by geragrena, which I am perpetually sad that I never downloaded a copy of before it was hidden.

ittybittywwx: i have a pdf copy off-key by geragrena so they can message me if they want it!!

~*~

8. Hello! Please help me find a fic/tell me if you remember it and it was deleted or something 🙏 My search through ao3 bookmarks and tags was unfortunate but the work was really interesting and I sudeenly remembered it some days ago and can't calm down still. Thank you!!

Possible but maybe not really used tags: arranged marriage, misunderstandings, political intrigues

As far as I remember, there was an arranged marriage between wwx and Iwj, but on the next day/a week after the wedding Iwj goes to see wen qing, which makes wwx miserable and yzy mad because of his "incompetence" as a spouse. Then there was a discussion between sect leaders, including wrh, where wrh announced that wq will become Iwj's concubine and their children will be considered Iwj's and wwx's. Wwx accepts the terms, but is shocked, mad and heartbroken beecause he concludes that it was planned in advance and Iwj is in love with wq. He does not try to listen to lwj, warns him not to touch him and runs away to a cottage in yiling (maybe? And maybe owned by jc or jyl) where he usually resides when mdm yu gets mad at him and kicks him out of the main sect territory

He takes in some homeless kids, including xy, as his little students?/adoptees? and i think mm is his servant, and he chills with them and makes talismans for common people maybe, remaking his reputation which suffered after the marriage fiasco. There was also a ghost of a woman who was in the house and was looking at wwx silently but in a very sad way (maybe possibly it could be madam lan or just undisclosed ghost lady)

There was a scene when wq comes to visit him. She has a lan ribbon on her arm which makes wwx heartbroken again. She somehow explains without apologising that everything is not as it seems and that it had to be done to save her family. It all makes wwx feel like he was outcasted by everyone in the knowledge of the situation for no real reason and with no care for his own reputation and life. Also I think mm who previously thought that she and wq were maybe friends says after the talk that it seems like they are not really friends because wq seems to treat her not as an equal but as a friendly servant instead

Then something something with wc and I remember a scene in a cave where wx and Iwj are trapped and somehow kiss, and then Iwj is like pulling himself away and mentioning wq, which makes wwx miserable because there is possibly a soulmate thingy? btw them and he feels awful

And then i remember jzx, who is maybe friends with Iwj, being mad at wwx for something and asking if he knew what Iwj did for him and wwx has absolutely no idea

The latest chapters I remember included some nsfw, more angst and misunderstandings, and possibly Iwj blaming wwx for pretending to ignore/knowingly hiding the fact that they are soulmates and wwx being scared that his kids will be taken away from him and given to the lans. And there was a heavy sence that there are lots of things happening wwx has no idea about, including (possibly) lwj's letters to him

Thank you for your work!! @shellennium

FOUND! No. 8 sounds like A Price to Pay by Wangxianist but it was deleted.

~*~

9. Hello! Thank you do much for all your hard work

I was wondering if you or any if your followers could help me find the fic where wwx is the God of the new moon. I tried looking in the tags for diety wwx but either I missed it or it's not tagged that way. I'm pretty sure he turns into a human later on but I don't remember much else. Thank you!

FOUND? A Secret Never Shared by Vrishchika (T, 28k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, frankencanon, Pining, Soft LWJ, Deity WWX, BAMF WWX)

FOUND? Of Destruction and Rebirth by demoniqt (M, 77k, wangxian, slow burn, god wwx, bamf wwx, grieving lwj, angst, hurt/comfort, fix-it, happy ending, attempted non-con, blood & gore)

FOUND? Lying on the Edge of a Star by Suspicious_Popsicle (T, 75k, WIP, WangXian, Universe Alteration, Slow Burn)

FOUND? A Wish For The Moon by PixieLeader (G, 15k, WangXian, Fantasy, Soulmates)

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10. hihi! I had wanted to rec this for #1 on the previous itmf (March 25th) but I realized I never saved it to my read list so I can't find it anymore!! 😭 it was a 3zun fic where I'm pretty sure jgy was forced by jgs into marrying warlord nmj. the rest of the world believed that the nies, esp nmj, are barbarians and super evil. so when jgy gets sent to the nies, he's mentally preparing himself to be raped or killed by nmj, but turns out nmj is super nice! and when jgy meets lxc (who is already married to nmj), lxc is really kind to him. and slowly jgy opens up to both of them and I think at one point they all go on a picnic date at a mountain? and later they get attacked while they're riding on horseback? honestly it's been so long I'm having trouble remembering the details skdjskd. also btw even though the plot sounds somewhat similar to the nielan fic soaring, carried aloft on the wind, that's not the one! this one was definitely 3zun and also from jgy's pov. hopefully someone knows the one I'm talking about!😭 @cryiling

FOUND! Perhaps Plural by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf and tardigradeschool (E, 77k, 3zun, historical, arranged marriage, established nielan, developing 3zun, romantic comedy, angst w happy ending, hurt/comfort, pining, slow burn, misunderstandings, smut)

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11. I'm looking for a fic where wwx died during some point in the burial mounds and became a god of death or something similar. In one part he figured out or was taught how to take a female form. He could visit people in their dreams as well. I swear I had it bookmarked, but can't find it. Thanks!

FOUND! Of Destruction and Rebirth by demoniqt (M, 77k, wangxian, slow burn, god wwx, bamf wwx, grieving lwj, angst, hurt/comfort, fix-it, happy ending, attempted non-con, blood & gore)

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12. hi! this my first time sending an ask to this blog so I'm a little unsure if I'm doing this correctly but I'm trying to find this fic where JC noticed an older disciple acting weird/inappropriate with WWX at Lotus Pier when they were kids so JC informs JFM and JFM gets super angry and kicks the older disciple out of the sect or something along those lines. I can't remember if JC had travelled back in time and that's why they were kids again or if it was just JC remembering something from his childhood. I unfortunately don't remember anything else about the plot 😔

thank you for your time! 🧡

FOUND! chapter 4 of Cotton Wool by incendir (M, 34k, WangXian, LJY/OMC, ZhuiLing, JC & WWX)

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13. Somewhere on AO3 there is a fic where LXC and NM threw the yin iron into the volcano and now the world is ending and they ask WWX about saving it and he's like yeah, we're doomed... @mreisse

FOUND! built by the fires of volcanoes by isabilightwood (T, 26k, wangxian, time travel, crack treated seriously, canon divergence, fluff & humor)

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14. Hey there! I’m having trouble finding this one specific fic. It is wangxian. Wei Ying sent Lán Wangji his drawing of a field of white bunnies (and I belief his donkey was in the picture as well?) and a letter. This was the last thing he sent to Lán Wangji before he disappeared. I remember Sizhui being with Lan Wangji and other junior disciples in the search for Wei Wuxian. Cut to them finding the white bunny field, they still don’t find him. As they return to Cloud Recesses, it turns out that Lan Sizhui took a bunny from that field. Specifically a non white bunny. That is all I can remember… thank you for the help!

FOUND! Yiling Patriarch Gone Missing, or: a series of missing person cases by oyan (T, 16k, wangxian, post-canon, case fics, fluff, humor, hurt/comfort, body dysphoria, mystery, slow burn, petty LWJ, protective LWJ, JC & WWX reconciliation, protective JC, rabbit & paperman shenanigans, eventual relationship, protective JL, WIP)

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15. Hello! I'm looking for a fic that I'd seen in a recent ITMF list but couldn't find it again. It was about lwj dealing with the aftermath of wwx's death and the discipline whip. Canon-compliant, and I believe it was an entire series of one-shots where the first fic focused of lwj and I believe the second one was about lsz

Hello! I'm #15 on the lastest fic finder. I'm afraid that's not the work I was looking for. The one I wanted wasn't a locked piece and I believe it dealt mainly with "chronic grief", but thank you for your efforts :)

NOT FOUND! The Price of Old Wishes by SoManyJacks (E, 67k, WangXian, Minor canon divergence, Angst, POV LWJ, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, semi-verbal!LWJ, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide)

FOUND! no new age Series by everythingispoetry (M, 145k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Permanent Injury, Recovery, Disability, Parenthood, Character Study, Thirteen Years of WWX's Death, Growing Up, Family Dynamics, Character Study, Self-Discovery, Mental Health Issues, Developing Relationship) although this isn't one-shot

NOT FOUND! Velle: to will, to wish by Aerlalaith (T, 30k, wangxian, angst, hurt/comfort, blood & injury, injury recovery, canon temporary character death, single parent LWJ, family issues, character study, healing, grief/mourning, trauma, nightmares) could be mine: "Velle: to will, to wish" where the first one is LWJ grieving/healing after the discipline whip and the second one is a oneshot about LSZ's courtesy name.

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16. Hello, for fic finder I want to find a short story set post canon where Wei Wuxian is transformed into a cat and keeps Jin Ling company, I vaguely remember a scene where Wei Wuxian in cat form bapped Fairy on the nose with his paw and stared in wonder at his paws possibly realising he had claws or in wonder that he touched a dog without running away screaming. I think he later figured out how to transform into his cat form at will to nap in sunbeams. Finding this story has been driving me nuts any help is greatly appreciated. @sorathemasterofmasters

FOUND? deep and inscrutable by twigofwillow (T, 1k, WWX & JL, Post-Canon, LSZ & LJY show up briefly, poor JL suffers so much, WWX does not care for Fairy at any time, it is a beautiful morning in Lanling and you are a horrible cat, Humor) this sounds like "deep and inscrutable" by twigofwillow, it doesn't have him figuring it out but he's definitely thinking about it, and the other details match

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17. Hello, I recently remember this fic that ive read months ago and im not sure if i remember it correctly, i cant find it anymore so i hope u guys can help me with this.

- its a modern fic. wei ying is sick then he lives with the lans. i remember him going to the same school(?) with lan zhan. i think lqr told lz to take care of him smth like that. then there's a girl that is also sick(?) there's a scene where wy asked lz to stay with him but then lz left and chose the other girl (lz didnt know that wx is sick and he was like the girl needs me more than u) there's a confession on a radio station(?) then when lz found out that wy is sick he ran back to him. there's also jiang-wen family connections. wy is cousins to the jiangs and has a connection with wens, im not sure if rouhan is his grandfather or uncle or smth. then they found out there's a scene where madam yu slapped the girl because of what she did (hurt wy) and they cut off ties (business/job) with their family

im not sure if im talking about one story or two.

For #17 I'm sure I've read the fic but it was when I was early into fandom and new to AO3. Also the girl is engaged to LWJ or something. WWX already is in love with LWJ,  but he's sick and gonna die in a year

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18. hi, can u guys help me to find this: lwj is a doctor, lxc and nmj are i think cops(?) detectives(?) smth like that then wwx is a fox. they rescued wwx from the basement where someone cuts off his fox tails to sell. he was badly treated. lwj is his doctor and wwx somewhat attached to lwj. wwx also has a doll(?) or smth named wen qing. he's very protective of it. lwj is the one taking care of him. its not yet completed when i first read it.

FOUND! sounds like the deleted "Dragon's Nestling" by the deleted user "TheAcademy".

The work ID was /42035667.

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19. I’m looking for a wangxian modern with cultivation fic where WWX was kicked out of yunmeng for something that Jiang Cheng did. He wound up having most of his golden core removed but was able to recultivate one. Cultivators had to wear body cams when on assignment, and someone hacked into the files and released the film of what actually happened during the night hunt that WWX got kicked out for.

I didn’t actually read it, I saw the summary and tags and planned to go back and read it later…and now I can’t find it. 90% sure it was complete and it’s on Ao3.

Thanks for the help! @worthlessnepenthes​

FOUND! Hey hey I'm almost certain 19 of the very recent fic finder is Truth Will Out (when caught on video) by KizuKatana (E, 25k, wangxian, WN & WWX & WQ, modern cultivation, YZY abuses WWX, caught in camera, partial core removal, WWX expelled from Jiang sect, live streamer WWX, meet-ugly, dual cultivation, WIP) I was literally just reading the new chapter right before this. It's still a WIP.

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20. Hiya! I was wondering if you could help me find a fic where wwx tried to commit suicide and jc finds him in the bathtub and it's kinda about him recuperating, and lwj helps take care of him? Its a modern au and wwx initially lives with jc and jyl. I'm pretty sure I've seen it here, but I can't for the life of me remember the name. Thanks for your help!

FOUND? 总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) by yiqie (E, 76k, WangXian, Modern AU, Pianist, Getting Together, Mental Health Issues, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Hospitals, Overdosing, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note)

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[autumnshowell]

arguments

'You've been out so often lately.'

'You've been so hard to get ahold of.' 'I worry when you don't answer my texts.' 'I thought you said you didn't have to work.' 'I guess I just didn't realize you had better things to do.' She throws handfuls of what is essentially into the trash. Part of Autumn wants to scream as she turns her mother's words around in her head, every spin of it gouging an angry red barb into the figurative mental flesh of her hand as she considers just how angry she is right now. "I have a life outside of you, mom." She says, exasperated in tone but forcing herself to keep calm. Autumn ties the trash bag off and moves to set it next to the door that leads out of the kitchen to the driveway, lifting it to show her before she does so. "And by the way, you're allowed to actually throw stuff away without me here." Helpless and useless she thinks to herself. She'll feel awful for thinking it later, but right now she's so angry because she spent the whole of her last day off cleaning the filth out of this kitchen and it looks like she never even touched it. It's always something. Always some mess that needs cleaning or something that sits broken because she can't pick up a phone and call for a repair herself. It'd be one thing, Autumn gripes, if her mother were incapable. If she were unable to do the things that Autumn does. But she isn't. She just knows she can get away with it, because her daughter promised her late husband that she would take care of her. Because if she plays dumb and she plays useless, it keeps Autumn close, ensures that she'll never go far from home. Autumn knows it, because her mother's said so a dozen times in her drunken rants, even if she doesn't remember it, and she hates that she's right. Because who else does she have? Kevin is, at best, a work friend. Everyone she counted as a close friend in town growing up is too busy with life or has left town altogether. She hasn't had anybody better to be around. Hasn't had anything better to do. But now she does. And it's becoming apparent. And she knows her mother hates this. And she relishes in it. "You're gonna have to cook for yourself or order out this Saturday - I'm not gonna be around." That pries her mother's eyes from her wine glass. "Why?" "I've got a thing." Sharp. "What thing?" Pointed "Just a thing." Deflecting. "What kind of thing? I remember when my daughter didn't keep secrets." "Oh my fucking god, really?" She says, slapping a rag down on the counter top. "I'm going to a studio to look at tattoo stuff, okay?" "A tattoo? Why the hell do you want a tattoo?" "I don't even know if I want one - and what does it matter to you anyways. it's not for you it's for me." "That's so tacky Autumn Marie, when have you ever wanted a tattoo?" "Jesus, and you wonder why I didn't want to tell you." "Well if you can't even tell me about it, what are you going to tell people when they see it? You'll look trashy." It's the certitude and confidence with which her own mother calls her trashy. It makes her breath catch. She feels her nails digging so deeply into the palms of one hand that she's sure when she rubs her face in frustration, it's going to leave a trail of red behind. It doesn't but her hand hurts. "It's 2024, mom, maybe I want to look trashy." She hates how much she sounds like a fucking teenager. It's humiliating and demoralizing, despite the audience of nobody. "Well, mission accomplished if you go through with that." Leigh says, moving to pour more Moscato into her glass. "No wonder I don't have grandkids."

Silly enough, that's what gets her, what shuts her off, what rips her out of her own mind and sends her off to the broom closet eve though her mother's not done talking. She thinks of just how many times she's told her mother she's not interested in men, let alone starting a family with one. It's the closes she ever gets to telling her mother that she's never going to have grand children. That she's never going to have a son-in-law. But she never has the stone to say it outright.

The rest of the evening is quiet - quiet as the dead. Or at least it might as well be; her mother's voice is somewhere behind her, over her shoulder - quite and muffled every once in a while, like she's yelling through the deep ocean. She doesn't listen as she cleans up.

She's reminded of just why she does all this in the morning, while her mother is at work where she has to at least pretend to be sober and functional and can't inform her daughter of how wrong she is about everything she does. She wonders why she comes here at all anymore - but she knows why - no matter how awful it is, or how draining it is, it's less lonely this way. It's nice to be needed, even if she isn't necessarily wanted.

[iamonlyhereforthefood]

Yes, I am grateful for all the people who try to help others feel validated and say that any reaction is ok.

To anybody else who is kind of tired of seeing posts about touching grass, seeing the glass half full or anything similar that makes you think toxic positivity and who would rather be an overdramatic bitch because that's how you deal with negative news: I see you and your feelings are just as valid. There is nothing wrong about having emotions that are considered negative and there is no point in feeling guilty over feeling like your world is falling apart, even though we know that there are much worse things that could happen and are happening. Having one thing that helps us deal with all the other bad stuff snatched away is tough and we deserve some grace. We deserved better. It's not fair or just to punish the fans who didn't do anything bad for somebody else's actions.

Personally, what makes me the most mad is that we thought we were in the clear: we waited patiently last year while it wasn't certain if the show would get renewed or cancelled, because those were the rules: you wait and are nervous until the decision is announced and then if the show get renewed, you can relax and don't have to worry about it, you just have to stay alive until the new episodes are released. Now we are confronted with the reality that rules don't matter any more and we are not in the clear until it is actually released (Hell, remember Batgirl? Even having the entire movie finished is not enough to guarantee we get to see it.). I am not yet sure how to navigate this new reality, but something will probably change about my viewing habits and it's more likely that I will just watch stuff that is already finished and had a satisfying conclusion (What does this mean for supporting new, diverse projects? Nothing good, I'm afraid.).

Anyway, this post is for my fellow dramatic bitches. Cry, scream, throw a tantrum, talk shit, post the most unhinged takes you can think of, if it makes you feel batter, we are not hurting anyone with our emotions.

[randomly--accessed--memories]

I'm thinking about other scenes from the show and where Vox might fit into them. Specifically I'm thinking about when Cherri took the crew to the bar. Now, should Vox go to the club? Probably not, but Charlie dumped some cash on Cherri and ran. I don't remember where Al was during that episode but assuming he disappeared to do whatever before Charlie left, the hotel crew is left with a choice, bring Vox to the club or leave someone behind to babysit, and nobody wants to do that.

Angel almost chooses to, not because he wants to, but because he's trying to be a better person, but Cherri convinced him to just bring Vox along.

The rest still happens like in the show, Niffty goes running up to Valentino (side note, anybody else think it's funny Val chose to go to a club named Consent?) and Angel still has to rescue her. Val still slaps Angel around and Husk still comforts Angel, but as they're walking away, Husk pulls Vox along with them from where he was standing. Maybe puts an arm around his shoulders because it's the easiest way to steer him, and that's when Valentino sees him. Vox is here, and he either didn't see him or didn't recognize him, and now he's leaving with a washed up ex-overlord and Val so desperately wants to chase after them, see if Vox remembers him and will come back with him, but he knows it'll make a scene. Vox is anonymous with the hotel crew, the Vees have been keeping him secret and if Val goes to him it's inevitable that a photo will be all over social media in the next 10 minutes. Val can still hear Vox lecturing him, back in the day, about not making stupid decisions that ruin their brand.

So Valentino just has to stand there and watch as Vox leaves, and there nothing he can fucking do about it. And then to add insult to injury Niffty still yanks out his fluff.

Ok I gave you angst, now someone give us the silly, what does drunk Vox do in the club?

Oh jeez... Val's just like "...Is this that instant karma thing Vel told me about" internally. Also, the fucking horror at realizing he didn't even recognize Vox between the club lights, his bad eyes, and Vox's new look. I had been imagining that he switched to the retro head while he was still at the tower, but the idea that he did that after Alastor took him, probably at Alastor's direction so he'd be less recognizable and more to Al's own tastes...

Vox can't drink alcohol, but he can absorb battery acid. He's not the only screen-head in Hell, so the bartender might have to dig around for it, but would probably be able to find something for him to imbibe. He'd keep trying to go inside the club lights or the music system and the crew has to keep pulling him back. As soon as they take their eyes off him though, he's trying to do it again, partially with Cherri's prompting (she thinks it's funny and wants to see him get kicked out of the club). He's getting better at not frying things, but by the time they leave, most of the electronics in the club are on their last leg.

Also, Pentious would be trying the whole time (and mostly failing) to pretend he's not friends with Vox since Cherri hates him so much. Vox doesn't understand why he's doing that and is a bit hurt, but when Pentious pulls the whole "I'M HAVING SEX WITH EVERYBODY!" thing, he'd make sure he doesn't get dragged off by the crowd (it's my AU, I get to rewrite the poorly thought-out canon scenes!), which makes Pentious feel like the biggest asshole for having ignored him all night.

[demon-of-the-ancient-world]

Hughhhghhhh ok fine the intrusive thoughts win, I'm just gonna do it. Athelstan headcanons but just the ones that are angst/whump based because some feral part of me needs to Harm Him:

His hands and feet still hurt terribly at times, even years after the wounds there have healed. Cold and damp weather makes it worse.

Sometimes it gets bad enough that he can't hold a pen (or an axe, for that matter) properly, and it becomes hard to walk

But he keeps it to himself, shutting himself away from others if necessary

Tries his best not to look at the scars because if he does even for a short time he starts Remembering Things

He draws to alleviate the stress on his mind, and his drawings - the secret ones he doesn't show to anybody - get quite disturbing

(Ragnar never tells him this, but he does find them one day. And it breaks his heart.)

Ok apparently a common theory about the "sky dragons" that were seen before the Vikings' attack on Lindisfarne was that they were actually northern lights and that made me think ; any time he sees northern lights now, in a climate where they're more common, he has bad dreams. Without fail. He's tried to get over it, and his artist's brain tries to see the beauty in them, but it doesn't help.

Ragnar (and Gyda while they lived on the farm) try to show them to him on winter nights, thinking he'll love it, and he doesn't have the heart to tell them they Freak Him Out

Allergic to bee stings. He finds out when he's watching over the kids one day and Bjorn thinks it would be fun to disturb a wasp nest. He makes a valiant effort to shoo him and Gyda back to the house...and in turn ends up with a very swollen face

A Lot of nightmares. First about the attack at the monastery and later about the crucifixion

And about his family dying. He always *thinks* he's forgotten about that, or that it doesn't affect him anymore, but it always comes back to him and he realizes he was Wrong

(And the fact that he wasn't actually there when it happened almost makes it worse, because it leaves him to just imagine what happened. And he has a very good imagination.)

When he gets one bad enough, he knows he won't be able to sleep at all afterwards, and spends the rest of the night writing, or sketching, or just pacing around. Walking outside helps, but he can only do that when it's not too cold

Gets headaches easily. I headcanon that he's a little nearsighted and doesn't even realize he's straining his eyes (and spending years squinting at tiny print didn't do him any favours)

It's sorta canon that he's somewhat prone to hallucinations, and I like to think it's a thing that happens sometimes when his brain is very very overwhelmed - but he probably keeps it to himself and has it in his head that they're either visions trying to "teach" him something but he can't figure out what, or that there's something Horribly Wrong With Him and he lives in fear of what that might be

Usually it's just weird blobs out of the corner of his eye that won't go away (like migraine aura type stuff) but after the incidents of season 2 he's always on edge of what else he might see

While his wounds were healing in Wessex he spends days slipping in and out of consciousness, not sure if he's dead or alive, with friends or enemies

And he calls out for Ragnar more than once - Ecbert never tells him about this, but definitely keeps it in mind

Dreams about hell, and later Ragnarok. A lot.

Like I've said before he doesn't get sick very often, but when he does it hits him like a truck

It's not uncommon for him to get super high fevers when he's sick, which doesn't help with the already present nightmares At All

Or the potential hallucinations

Had asthma as a little kid and cold weather still irritates his lungs sometimes, prone to chest infections

Hates being seen in any vulnerable state Whatsoever because he's Always Just Chill Always Everything's Fine

But is actually so clingy to a surprising degree once it's out there that he Needs Help & someone's there to help him & he gets to collapse, whoever that person is they are Staying Now

Gets panic attacks after being crucified. Can't stand the sound of things being nailed together (@adhdnightmare This One) it sets his teeth on edge and he wants to run away and hide - he doesn't put two and two together at first until he does and is like oh

Doesn't like to be touched when going through one of these episodes, Ragnar knows he gets them and has learned how to talk him through it without touching him (even though all his instincts are telling him to wrap that lil guy up in the biggest bear hug)

For a short time he can't even look at his own cross necklace without breaking out in a cold sweat, and of course THAT stresses him out big time because what if it's The Devil talking??? What if he's Bad Now??? His religion-based stress is never ending.

Occasionally this anxiety comes back even years down the line, and each time he's like. ah ok this is gonna be a Bad Mental Health Day isn't it.

There's gotta be more somewhere but hm that's all for tonight

@grantairescurls @procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics @levithestripper @starrose17 hi guys it's Me Again

[please-help-this-little-lesbian]

So...remember when I said I was boycotting Dead City? Welllll my dad bought the first season, so I watched it. And Boy oh Boy, Do I have Thoughts

Spoilers Ahead!!!

Note: I'm not going to address the Negan and Maggie of it all because I've long said everything I can about them.

One: What I liked, because believe it or not, I did actually like some things!

The setting! I loved seeing post-apocalyptic New York. It was really fun for me to pick out all the things I recognized.

Ginny. Was it a little annoying that she wouldn't listen to anybody? Sure, but a girl who shows up, clings to Negan like glue, and doesn't say shit? Literally, me. Character of the century.

Speaking of Ginny, I was LIVING for Negan's single dad era. Yes, king abandon your wife and son to take care of some random girl! He was living his best life.

The plot twist with Ginny was INCREDIBLE!! I was not expecting it at ALL. The fact that he killed her dad?? Bro my jaw was on the floor.

I actually liked the Croat and Negan's dynamic! I think it was funky and deliciously homerotic. However, I hate the Croat's character.

Two: What I DIDNT like.

Nothing made ANY sense, and NOTHING was explained. I get that Maggie was in New Babylon to find Negan but why was HE there? Last I checked nobody banished him from the Commonwealth. And where even IS this place? It seemed to be like Pennsylvania, New Jersey but still. Also, how did Maggie know he was there? Did she airtag him?? It made no sense.

The Croat was a TOTAL retcon. He made NO sense in the established canon. Let me explain:

3 a) I get NEGAN being upset that the Croat tortured a girl because his whole thing was no harming kids, but SIMON?? Bro you killed every boy over the age of ten at Oceanside and slaughtered all those garbage people, why are you on a high horse NOW??

3 b) If Negan could recognize that the Croat was too much of a wild card and needed to be dealt with, then why the HELL did he keep Simon around? Because Simon did MUCH worse.

3 c) The girl whom the Croat tortured was a scout from the Kingdom, but this makes NO sense with what we know about them? I believe the deal was as long as they paid proper tribute they'd leave each other alone, this feels like a major violation of this agreement? Like they were probably wondering what the hell happened to her, surely somebody had to address this at some point.

3 d) The Croat mentioned this story where Negan let him Lucille someone from the "river people." I feel like these people have to be Oceanside, but this is a total retcon either way.

I'll admit as a writer it's hard to keep up with details and I've had to change and retcon a couple of things myself in my stories, but surely they can go and make sure that everything in their spinoff that's a continuation of an already established story makes sense with it.

Anyway, I didn't hate it, but tbh my expectations weren't high. I got one (1) scene of evil jester Negan and a hinted promise that he'd come back in season two, and I'm disappointed. But if he DOES come back I'll have to watch I fear.

[stargazer-sims]

Beyond the Broken Parts

Eden: Everything okay?

Haru: Yeah.

Eden: Sorry for invading your privacy, but you were in here a really long time, and you didn't answer when I knocked and called your name. I got worried.

Haru: Sorry about that. I didn't even hear you knocking. I guess I zoned out for a few minutes. It happens sometimes.

Eden: Are you sure you're all right?

Haru: I'm okay. Just a little tired. I figured I'd take my medication while I was in here, so I wouldn't forget before bed. You know, 'cause my routine is different with you here. But then, uh... I kinda forgot what I was doing anyway.

Eden: I didn't know you have to take medication.

Haru: It's for my brain.

Eden: I shouldn't want to laugh at that, but...

Haru: Yeah... that came out wrong. Remember, I explained how I have problems because of all the alcohol and drugs and stuff my mother was using?

Eden: I remember.

Haru: I need something to regulate all my brain chemicals and calm me down. Otherwise, I'd be so hyper that I'd probably be flying off the walls, and I wouldn't be able to think or focus long enough to have an intelligent conversation or learn anything. Or even basically take care of myself, I guess.

Eden: I'm sorry.

Haru: You shouldn't be. This is my everyday life. It's not a bad thing. It's just... you know. A thing. It's not something I really talk about with anyone, but it's always been a part of who I am.

Eden: I won't tell anybody.

Haru: I appreciate that. It's not something I'd want the whole world to know.

Eden: That's totally understandable. Your friends know, though, right?

Haru: They all know I take medication, but only Ryu and Taiji know exactly what it's for. Keigo might know too, but not from me telling him. I'd never tell him or Senjirō, unless I absolutely had to. I only tell my private stuff to people I trust.

Eden: Are you saying you trust me? Even though we've only known each other for a short time? You've known those guys for like, five or six years, haven’t you?

Haru: About five years, yeah. Sometimes, the longer you know somebody, the less you trust them, though. I mean, I trust Keigo to a point. Like, he's a good person and he'd never intentionally hurt anyone, and I like him, but I'm just not comfortable sharing some stuff with him.

Eden: And Senjirō?

Haru: I think we can say we're friends, but not great friends. He doesn’t take me seriously, and we have too many differences to be really close. And to answer your other question, yes I trust you.

Eden: Thank you. That means a lot.

Haru: You already mean a lot to me.

Eden: Same. I honestly didn't know it was possible to fall for somebody this fast, but I'm glad to be discovering it with you.

Haru: Me too.

Eden: If you're really tired, maybe we should go to bed now. There's no reason to stay up any later, especially if you need to rest your brain.

Haru: My brain could use some rest. The problem is, I’m tired but I’m not sleepy, if that makes sense.

Eden: It does. If you’re not sleepy, we can cuddle in bed. That’ll be easy on your brain.

Haru: I like this plan.

Eden: Good, because I really want to cuddle with you.

Haru: Shirtless?

Eden: Apparently, skin-to-skin contact is very therapeutic.

Haru: You think it works on brains, too?

Eden: *smiling* There’s only one way to find out. We can get a good night’s rest, and maybe you’ll feel better in the morning

Haru: I usually feel great in the mornings. It’s once the day gets going that it sometimes goes all to hell. I don't know why changes in my routine are so hard, but whenever there's the smallest difference, it's like I'm using up three times as much energy just to deal with simple, normal things.

Eden: That must make travelling and being on tour really difficult and stressful for you.

Haru: Yeah, but it's worth it. I always get really energized from the audience. I might have to sleep for most of the next day, or the day after if we have back-to-back shows, but I'm totally willing to do it for that big crowd energy.

Eden: I wish there was something I could do to help you. To make everything better somehow.

Haru: You know what? You're already doing it.

Eden: How? What am I doing?

Haru: Supporting me. Taking me seriously. Being somebody who knows I'm broken and who sees past the broken pieces.

Eden: Haru—

Haru: What?

Eden: You're so much more than your 'broken pieces' as you call them. Maybe you've got issues most people don't have, and like you said, it's part of who you are, but you're a whole person with a million different parts. An amazing person with a million amazing parts. That's what I see.

Haru: How'd you get to be so beautiful? On the inside as well as the outside, I mean.

Eden: I credit my mother, mostly. She says acceptance is the most important thing when it comes to other people. Like, everybody matters, without having to qualify it.

Haru: I think I already like your mother.

Eden: When you feel ready for it, we can FaceTime with her and my dad, and I'll introduce you. I think Mommy will really like you, too.