#does Ramon just come over more frequently or what

[animationismycomfort]

so just watched happy feet 2 again after years and um

there’s one thing that made me upset about this film…

your telling me that the amigos didn’t know about Eric’s existence until they meet him and his friends later on in the film

which is very much debunked in the first few minutes of the film

where RAMON KNOWS WHO ERIC IS

so which one is it movie

do they know who Eric is or nah?

[1spy]

1991 | Matthew Sweet - “Girlfriend”

In the fall of 1991, I saw a video on MTV that changed how I thought about music and shifted my tastes significantly toward what would become known as alternative music.  No, not THAT video. I’m not talking about Nirvana and “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” It was Matthew Sweet’s anime-infused video for the title track of his third album, Girlfriend.

I’d sometimes wake up and watch MTV in the upstairs den before going to school, and I remember it was morning, and I stood there in front of the TV transfixed throughout the entire thing. I wish I could go back in time and see it again for the first time. Or see the dumb look on my face as I  heard the first strains of feedback while watching a spaceship emerge from the ocean, and then watch as a sexy, sophisticated space opera takes place over the next three minutes, interrupted only by Matthew Sweet’s disembodied head and voice.

Another version of me might have gone down the anime rabbit hole and become obsessed with manga. And I was intrigued, of course. Space Adventure Cobra: The Movie looked like the Voltron cartoons I loved as a kid, but seemed to contain nudity and adult situations. That movie looked incredible! But this was pre-internet and I had no idea where to go for softcore cartoons. Or even how to find out what movie it was. It’s been more than 30 years, and I still haven’t seen it.

Music though, was something I was learning how to investigate. And hearing Sweet’s precise stabs of dry rhythm guitar and 18 layers of harmony vocals be absolutely ripped apart by multiple unhinged guitar solos, well, that blew my mind. I had never heard anyone play guitar like that, and I wanted more of it immediately.

The “it” was Robert Quine who was, prior to this, most famous for playing with Richard Hell and the Voidoids, one of the first American punk rock bands to come out in the mid-70s. He also played with Lou Reed on his classic album, The Blue Mask. The pairing with Sweet was odd, because Sweet’s first two albums were polished, shiny pop albums that sounded like…a less exciting version of the Bangles or Cyndi Lauper. Sweet’s third album stripped away all the, uh, sweetness, but doubled down on Sweet’s layered harmony vocals while letting his guitar players go wild. 

I didn’t know it at the time, but Quine and the other main guitar player on the record, Richard Lloyd from the band Television, were actual punk pioneers. Punk rockers who played early shows with the Ramones and pre-dated british bands like The Clash and Sex Pistols. They were from a generation before Nirvana and Sonic Youth, and they specialized in the kind of guitar that rock critics called “searing” and “angular”. Together, they just kicked all kinds of ass all over this record and were a key reason why Matthew Sweet’s third album isn’t just a power pop classic. It has frequent moments of ecstatic, blistering fury and jazz-like bursts of melody. And those sounds were thrilling in the context of Sweet’s sophisticated, Beatles-soaked songwriting.

The whole album really is a power-pop masterpiece. Sweet wrote it after he was divorced from his first wife. It has big divorced guy energy. Half of it is consumed with recriminations and regrets from his dissolving relationship, the other half are wistful fantasies about finding new love. The love songs included one named for Winona Rider and one called “Evangeline” about a girl who cares more about God than she does about Sweet (btw, my parents were going to name me Evangeline had I been a girl). There’s a surprising amount of theological content on the record, and Sweet has said the record captured his emergence as an atheist. It’s his lyrics about searching for a God who seems frustratingly absent that are the album’s most consistent and compelling lyrical theme.

Finally, let me add that the ballads are killer on this album. “You Don’t Love Me”, “Your Sweet Voice” and “Nothing Lasts” provide a break from the punk rock guitar heroics in favor of pedal steel guitar from one of the masters, Greg Leisz. 

Two weeks ago, Matthew Sweet suffered a massive stroke while he was on tour in Europe with Hanson. He’s returned to the states and is now undergoing treatment and therapy towards what I hope is a full recovery. You can donate here:

[leandra-kinard]

Buddie Teen AU (Sims 4) - pt 4

Masterpost. 

While Buck is exploring all the fun things in life, Eddie has focused on school. He’s 18 now and in his last high school year. 

He hasn’t had a girlfriend yet (and no boyfriend either, because that thing with Andres was just him being confused, right?). But sooner or later, he’ll meet someone. And if not, well, there are other things in life he could do. He’s been thinking about becoming a fire fighter, but he’s also heard it’s not that easy to get in. He’s still got time to think about everything and make up his mind, and if he needs even more time, his dad already said he could probably get an internship at the company he works for. 

What Eddie is really looking forward to this year, though, is Christmas. 

His sisters are decorating the tree this year. Sophia has now also grown into a teen, and little Adriana is ten now. Growing up way too fast. 

As his mom makes a few finishing touches of the decorations, Eddie puts the presents he got his family under the tree. 

His abuela and Aunt Pepa are also visiting again this year. 

As always, Eddie is in a great mood when she is around. He really loves his abuela and wishes he could see her more often. But she lives in Los Angeles and doesn’t make the trip down to Texas very frequently. One day, he’s going to visit her there, too. 

And then it’s time to open their presents and enjoy the rest of the day with great company and fun stories. 

On New Year’s, Eddie has a few friends over to celebrate with him and his family, and it’s great fun, too. 

As winter turns into spring, he spends more time outdoors again, and he’s still very close to Sophia...

... who’s now playing on the soccer teem of her junior high. 

She’s getting rather good at it, too, and Eddie enjoys dribbling with her, even though he prefers baseball himself. (which, sadly, doesn’t exist in the Sims so you’ll have to imagine that)

Although she’s still his little sister, she’s also a good friend these days, and they often stick their heads together, talking about stuff neither of them wants to discuss with their parents. And whenever something is bothering her, Sophia always comes to him first. 

His dad sometimes does have time on the weekends to spend it with his entire family, and on those days, when they refresh themselves in their swimming pond, Eddie plays ball with his dad, too. 

Eddie enjoys those moments with his dad, but he sometimes wishes he could be around more often. Although, it’s a bit late to wish for that now, because it’s been like that for as long as Eddie can think. 

When he finally finishes school that year, Eddie learns of a summer camp somewhere up north in the Texan mountains. At nearly 19, he’s almost too old for it as most other kids there are more around 16 or 17. But this is the last year he could go, and, thinking about it, he’d always wanted to do something like that. Just hang out with a bunch of people roughly his age, no parents around, for three weeks in summer. 

It’s not exactly cheap, but when he brings it up to his dad, to his surprise, he agrees. Eddie can still start working after the break. And maybe, it’s also a tiny bit of guilt that makes Ramon say yes; Eddie never really asked for anything big his whole life. 

And so, one week into the summer break, Eddie packs his bags and gets on the bus that’s going to lead him to a new adventure. 

To be Continued...

[ronearoundblindly]

TW: for discussion of Su*c*dal Ideation and SI/SH so feel free to delete this if you don't wanna read, I won't be mad I promise: *takes gigantic breath like the seagull in the meme* Okay. So, after reading Part 10 of Dignity of His Choice, I couldn't let go of the bit in part 9 where Bucky tells Steve that Tony told him that Keeps had a knife and Steve kind of sinks to the floor in despair checking Keeps for injuries. Now, we the audience, hear Bucky tell Steve that "There was an incident" but Keeps doesn't hear that. She does however hear Steve ask her about trying to hurt herself, and she's confused and is like, "I wasn't, I wanted cake". I don't know that Keeps the character would think about it like this, but since reading Part 10 I haven't been able to let go of the thought that if I were to put myself in Keeps' shoes...at some point post-Ramon, I'd realize that if I had tried to hurt or kill myself (which is a thought I would absolutely and seriously entertain in Keeps' shoes and I would personally argue that Keeps' does hurt herself, and if Bruce or somebody doesn't whack Steve over the head with her lack of eating and over exercising I will be disappointed in the Team) my nightmare would have been over faster. Like, I would put together why Bucky brought me to the place Steve was hiding and at some point I'd be like "So if I had tried to kill myself, then Steve would have come back" and I think that would make me regret the time I wasted trying to put myself back together because it would occur to me that giving into the pain would have actually been a way to actively participate in solving my problem. Since I was kept in the dark, and had any other agency stolen from me... Which is a horrifying, sickening thought that I can't seem to get out of my head. It feels like I should have a way to tie that up for you, but I don't, I just felt the need to point out a plot thread my brain has decided to latch onto. Regardless of whether or not this becomes at all relevant going forward, it simply makes your story that much richer and layered. I am so impressed at the way in which you are expressing Keeps' reaction to learning about Steve faking his death; how and why it happened, the obvious nuance to her thought process, and how you're expressing it all, is phenomenal. Never mind, Steve and everyone else's thoughts and behavior...I know I said it already, and I know I will keep saying it- I am so glad I stumbled upon your work. You are such a fantastic writer, and reading these is really, truly a joy. Thank you!

Ok, this is really interesting because I agree. If I were Keeps, hell-fuck-yeah I would have considered *mumbles the words,*

HOWEVER,

I have actively tried to picture about ten different types of women (ages, body shapes, ethnicities, heights, etc.) repeatedly while writing Fools Rush In. So Keeps is not me. Not even close. I've added what backstory I think moves along her character and what makes for an interesting dynamic with Steve. Additionally, I'm a snobby bitch, so I've tried to include a lot of things I never see in other fics, at least not frequently. Adds a bit more realism for me, but I digress.

I'm a little...unwilling to project that idea outright onto Keeps. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to do a dissection of SI/SH thoughts and how they'd impact a relationship with any two people, but that day is not today. The idea/layer is there, and it's not meant as a throwaway plot device but won't be delved into much...probably...maybe.

It's not in Dignity as a scene because it would be a POV other than Steve or Keeps, but there is 100% miscommunication going on between Tony to Bucky to Steve about who thinks she was going to do what. In my mind, Bucky returns from a long mission, and if Tony so much as off-handedly mentions "a scare where Spangler had a knife," Bucky might just knee-jerk react by ending the charade. He wouldn't take that chance no matter what Steve said. He's been heaving red onto his ledger just to get Steve home, so fuck that, Keeps better be alive, too.

That brings us to the oof complicated part (which wouldn't be clear via what's in the fic so far since we never saw Tony talk to Bucky). No one except Nat and Bucky knows about Steve, so if both are on mission, crossing off that list of names, no one at the compound is really gonna know to tell them about Keeps if she tried anything. Maybe and only maybe would an attempt have actually led to knowing Steve was alive early. It would depend on other circumstances.

but yes, I feel you. I see what you're saying. I'm right there with ya.

[latenightcinephile]

#718: 'The Golden Coach', dir. Jean Renoir, 1952.

One of the most bizarre things that happens with this list happened once again when I was reading up about Jean Renoir's The Golden Coach. Heading to the Wikipedia page, which is where I usually start, I found not much had been said about the film, except for Andrew Sarris's remarks that it was "an international failure" upon release. This seems to be pretty common with films on the list - it's apparently a requirement that good movies be detested originally - so I went to the book itself to see what Tom Charity of Time Out had to say about it.

Turns out, not much either. Charity provides a brief plot summary, quotes Truffaut, who called The Golden Coach "the noblest and most refined film ever made", and says that Vivaldi "provides the soundtrack", which is a bit too active-sounding, considering Vivaldi had been dead for two hundred years at that point.

So, why is Renoir's film on the list? I'm not really sure. But I quite liked it, so it's worth exploring.

Jean Renoir is not well-known for his later films, of which The Golden Coach is one. His major fame came with the release of more realistic satires in the 1930s: La Chienne (1931), Boudu Saved from Drowning (1932), La Grande Illusion (1937), La Bête Humaine (1938), and The Rules of the Game (1939). Despite their often comic plots, these films were steadfastly realistic and drew on local times and places. The release of the latter film was disastrous, though. Despite frequent re-edits, French audiences detested The Rules of the Game and Renoir's known Communist sympathies resulted in the film twice being banned. When the Germans invaded Paris in 1940, Renoir fled, first to Rome and then to the United States. He made several films in Hollywood - some critically acclaimed, others not - before returning to Europe a decade later. It was then that he began work on a loose trilogy of films about theatre and artifice. The Golden Coach is the first.

The film really belongs to its lead actor, Anna Magnani, who brings such vivacity to her performance that the rest of the cast are basically just dancing around her. She plays Camilla, a performer with a commedia dell'arte troupe in the role of Columbine. The troupe has come to 18th-century Peru to perform, and are forced into a contract with the local innkeeper, who insists on being reimbursed for paying their ship's passage over to the new world. The only reason that the troupe's performances are successful is that two men become smitten with Camilla: the Viceroy (Duncan Lamont), a milquetoast with all the money and none of the sense, and Ramon (Riccardo Rioli), a famed toreador. Ramon's attentions make the commedia popular with the masses, and the Viceroy's make it popular with the court. The Viceroy even gifts Camilla with a golden coach, causing jealousy among the other nobles, who threaten to have him stripped of his post. In the midst of these two men, and a third, Felipe (Paul Campbell), Camilla's happiness in the theatre is steadily eroded and almost completely replaced with the difficulties of real life. Only a last-minute resolution worthy of a Shakespearean comedy returns everything to rights.

Pictured: an unappreciative audience. Peruvian philistines.

Some writers theorise that Renoir's turn to more overtly theatrical subjects are partly autobiographical: that is, after what could be called an exile from his home country he made these films as a sort of manifesto about the importance of performance - that imagination and playfulness are far more important than most cinema critics believe them to be. Audiences shunned his work, this theory goes, and so Renoir felt compelled to put forward this particular vision. As well as this, though, Sarris remarks that The Golden Coach has a melancholy undercurrent to it, most notably in the final moments of the film. Camilla is drawn back to the stage, reassured by the leader of the troupe that the only place she will ever find happiness is when she is pretending to be someone else. Camilla notices that the Viceroy, Ramon and Felipe are all gone. "Part of the audience, now," Don Antonio (Odoardo Spadaro) tells her. "Do you miss them?" Camilla pauses. "A little," she says, before Renoir cuts to a wider shot of her standing at the proscenium arch. In this scene, it's unclear whether Camilla actually can find happiness in the theatre. What is most important throughout the film, it seems, is the idea of possibility. Real life will eventually force Camilla to choose one of the lovers, and yet her decision at the end (to give the golden coach to the bishop, and therefore to stop the Viceroy from being overthrown and to have Felipe and Ramon released from prison) returns all three of the men to the role of potential love interest. It's interesting that the arrival of the bishop feels like such a deus ex machina, because within the wider frame of the film it makes very little sense. Camilla suddenly hits on a 'solution' that seems to conveniently restore everything to how it ought to be, but it does so in such a quick and efficient way that it feels very artificial.

Does it happen at all? At the beginning and end of the film, the curtain rises on a stage which shows part of the Viceroy's palace (the image seen above, with the Viceroy’s chambers through the door at the upper left, and the street behind the golden coach at the lower half). The opening and closing moments are explicitly a stage play, but the camera moves onto the stage and enters the world of the 'play' seamlessly. What was two-dimensional becomes three-dimensional. My gut interpretation of what is happening here is that the viewer is drawn into suspending their disbelief, as they do with all films. We enter the world of 1700s Peru, and the plot carries on happily enough until the end. Camilla has to choose between an unsatisfying but real end to her story, or to retreat into theatre and fiction. She chooses the latter, and the implausibility of it is so violent that it throws the viewer back out of the fictional world, back to the other side of the stage. We're back in the audience again, with the complicated people who don't fit neatly into a comedy plotline.

What we do get to do, though, is reflect on what we're seeing. There is a vibrancy in The Golden Coach that doesn't appear in many of Renoir's other films. Renoir makes the images colourful and lively, and this vibrancy is in itself entertaining. We're made to laugh at the antics, the effete lip-service that the nobles give to the king, the duels seen briefly through open doorways, and the timing of the commedia plays themselves. The mediocre acting (outside of Magnani) gives the film a roughspun, poor-theatre quality which is invigorating. We probably can't do what Camilla does and immerse herself permanently in this world, but Renoir's film makes no secret of the fact that he clearly thinks it's vital that this world exists, and that we're able to visit it from time to time.

[narcosmx]

narcos mexico headcannon list: them being protective would include (pt. 2)

a/n: just when i thought i couldn’t get any fucking softer i go and i write this, next i’m off to tackle request thank you for being patient with me ... also needed to use this pic bc fuckin wow offended

so for this i divided this up into two categories divided up by how the narcos men would primarily demonstrate their protectiveness

the two groups that they fall under are physically protective and emotionally protective 

physically protective was part 1 and here we are to go into what is for sure going to be the death of me which is those who are emotionally protective 

okay when i say emotionally protective, i’m thinking that they make you feel safe; there isn’t as much concern about a whole army of people following you at all times and willing to kill someone for you but it’s about you knowing that they’re there for you 

not that these motherfuckers wouldn’t kill someone for you but it’s not that they wouldn’t kill someone for you, we all saw the palma scene you know what i’m talking about

it’s just like they’re more likely to kill someone because they disrespected you than because they got too close to you 

anyways the three people that fall into these categories are the softest of narcos men 

palma, benjamin and  chapito i’m sobbing so let’s begin my torture 

hector palma 

my fucking sweet soft ass daddy 

like i want you to think about that scene where lupe comes out crying from the room when clavel tells her that miguel sent out to kill palma

the way he was so freakign soft with her, already reaching out to hold her when he sees her crying 

that is what palma is all about making you feel emotionally safe; like you can tell him absolutely anything and he will be there to 

i am heart eyes at the idea that he would for sure be the one to come check on you to make sure you were okay all the time 

like when you’re at a party and maybe he’s out talking to the other plaza bosses he keeps his eyes on you, stands so he can keep an eye on you 

would make excuses to go get a drink so he can walk by and check on you 

him reaching up to like caress your face with his thumb and leaning down to kiss your forehead and gently lifting your face by your chin to look up at him because he wants you looking into his eyes 

‘todo bien, mi vida? hmm?’ whispering gently before giving you a soft kiss on the lips 

and if he takes too long because you’re like cooing up at him the other guys are smirking and yelling at him to stop being a madilon (being whipped) but he wouldn’t give a shit 

him turning back around after you reassure him you’re okay like 24 times he nods and turns around with his stupid smirk flipping the other guys off and he’s like ‘ya calmanse, tranquilos morros’

notices when you’re off right away, like even if you’re like in the slightest mood he is on it trying to make you feel better

palma will literally call his men to figure shit out today by themselves ‘porque me voy a quedar con mi reina hoy y punto, hijos de su reshingada madre’

will do whatever you need, this bitch would happily stay in bed with you all day/ you want your favorite meal? he will slave in the kitchen all day and just have you curled up in a blanket sitting at the kitchen table

can you just imagine freaking palma with a trapo slung over his shoulder, looking over at you and winking at you, before coming over and squishing your cheeks just being like “ugh mI SHULADA”

but yeah him squishing your face would be something he does often because he’s convinced you’re the cutest piece of shit he’s ever encountered 

will do anything to make sure you’re happy and holy shit if someone makes you unhappy ... if someone upsets you palma’s going off

like baseball bats to he knee head popping off you know

benjamin 

the level headed one amongst a family of complete human firecrackers; calm and collected god he’s such a soft daddy

but also conservative daddy on the streets for sure 

benjamin wouldn’t be one, LIKE HIS BROTHER, to be smacking your ass, kissing at your neck and grabbing at you 

it’s very much like he doesn’t want anyone seeing him be intimate for you; those things are only shared between the two of you 

benjamin treats you and respects you like a queen and he will not fucking stand for anyone treating you like anything less

can you imagine the amount of times he has to smack the shit out of pancho’s and ramon’s head 

angry hissing at them, this isn’t the time where he’s yelling at them this is when he gets in his really low whispers and pulls them really close to threaten them through closed teeth 

like ‘no puedes ver que hay una dama, no quiero oir tus grocerias enfrente de ella, estamos?’ 

and if that’s what he’s out here doing to his brother’s imagine how he would be around literally anyone else 

min makes it a point that you mean so much to him

since he isn’t the biggest in pda, he feels like he needs to constantly reassure you that he still loves you 

 like very subtle acts of pda, holding your hand and giving it a soft squeeze so you’ll look up at him and he’ll give you his warm smile and kiss the back of your hand 

cannot leave the house without a goodbye kiss and being able to tell you to be safe and call him if you need anything 

like he can’t go on with his day if he hasn’t reminded you of those two things 

and at first assuming the whole ‘call me if you need me’ thing was just a thing he said to make you feel better but wouldn’t really be able to do 

but then you call him one day; maybe you’re having car trouble and you need help being like ‘i’m sorry amor... i know you’re busy and...” 

and benjamin is already snapping at someone to get the car ready and is immediately telling you he’ll be there in a few minutes, telling you there is absolutely no reason to apologze he meant it A N Y T H IN G 

i just his protectiveness is all about taking care of you, making you feel safe in the fact that no matter what he got you... you don’t have to worry about anything as long as he’s here 

mi chapito

chapito absolutamente el amor de mi vida i am sobing 

chapito’s protectiveness is about protecting and perserving yOUR HONOR THAT IS SO FUCKING HIM

he’s pretty fucking positive you’re an angel walking on earth 

has told his mom that you’re the angelito that diosito sent him to keep him safe and showing him there’s still some good in this fucking world

anyways you’re the purest and most precious thing in his life and he’s going to make sure you stay that way

needs everyone to see you as their pure bean too okay

the moment that i keep imagining is in season 1 is  when ramon makes fun of chapito about him getting it up 

if anyone made even something approaching a sexual comment around you he would be squaring this person up doesn’t give a shit that is ramon who’s half a foot taller than him no one disrespects his bebe

if some moron said a sexual comment about you fucking forget it okay the sinaloa cartel is fucking savage i need you to consider that palma, THE BOSS, beat someone to death with a baseball bat now imagine what chapito would do as the person PALMA SENDS OUT TO FUCKING MURDER PEOPLE 

in conclusion, chapo would tear someone limb from limb for your ass 

and again on the sinaloenses; they are the biggest fucking group of buttholes they will roast each other all day every fucking day 

and chapito isn’t unaware of this, i mean cochi is his closest friends he knows what this shit is like

and oof fucking chapo can dish it out too and he’ll take it from anyone BUT THE SECOND THAT THE JOKES MOVE TO YOU HE’S SHUTTING THAT SHIT DOWN IN AN INSTANT 

even to coshi he’s like ‘aye aye no te pasas cabron, de mi princesa no se habla’ and gets his most serious face because cochi’s trying to laugh it off 

similar to palma and that he’d be checking in with you all the time; as much as he can and as frequently as he can 

and he doesn’t give a shit about what other people may think of him but if something is upsetting you, making you uncomfortable it is fucking cancelled and he’s going to make sure of it 

always worries about making you feel safe because you are his safety... you are home to him and he’s going to make sure of it 

also protective in like stupid subtle ways wanting to make you feel safe; walking on the side closest to the street on the sidewalk, keeping his hands on your waist when you’re walking through a crowd, always checking the house to make sure everything is locked up, always sleeps with his arms wrapped around you 

i have this idea of him buying you a guard dog so that he knows you’re safe when he’s away... s o  b b i n g

i will end this before i end myself 

[violetwolfraven]

Legacy Heroes

After Nora and Joe showing up, Barry hadn’t really thought anything stranger could happen.

Long story short... he was wrong.

“Let me out,” the girl said sweetly, not seeming at all bothered by the fact that she was behind the glass of a meta containment cell.

The girl in question had been dubbed ‘Treble,’ despite her insistence that she already had a codename, but couldn’t tell it because she was from the future and it could jeopardize her past.

Treble had brown hair, dyed with streaks of purple, tan skin, and green eyes. She was maybe Nora and Joe’s age, and her nonchalance reminded Barry of someone. He just couldn’t remember who.

“She’s radiating tachyons,” Cisco mumbled to him, “Definitely a time traveler; must have followed your kids here.”

“Duh,” Treble said with a roll of her eyes, “Of course I did.”

Barry and Cisco both tried to hide their shock at the fact that she had even heard them. Then she pointed to her ears.

“Sensitive to sounds? That’s literally my whole thing.”

Cisco snorted, “Yeah, and leveling buildings with those sound frequencies.”

That was an exaggeration. The girl had whistled at a hotdog cart and sent it flying against a building, but she hadn’t caused lasting damage to anything except the hotdog cart.

She rolled her eyes, “That was just to get your attention. Truthfully, I was hoping for the Twin Tornado Terrors, but—“

“You mean the Tornado Twins,” Barry clarified, “My kids, who you conveniently borrowed the time sphere to follow here, but definitely aren’t an enemy to?”

Treble huffed in frustration, “You think I’m an enemy? You’re the one who sent me here! Well, technically it was your wife, but she sent me to bring those two home so they don’t mess up the past anymore than they already have!”

“You keep talking about the twins,” Cisco noted, “But you don’t actually say their names.”

“Fine,” Treble said, “Joe and Nora West-Allen. You’re Cisco Ramon and the Flash is Barry Allen, married to Iris West-Allen. Are you going to let me out, now?”

“You could have gotten that information as an enemy,” Barry said untrustingly, “I’m going to need more information than that. How’d you meet them?”

She sighed, “Fine, if it’s so important to you. Not too long from now, Team Flash and Team Arrow kind of merge into one with a bunch of other heroes to form the... the Super Friends. Fast forward a few decades, everybody’s got kids and all those kids grew up together. We’re basically cousins. Of course, some heroes never joined up or split over time, so some dating between the younger generation does happen, but...” Treble’s face reddened, “I’m getting off topic here. The point is, we call ourselves Legacies. Ask Joe or Nora and they’ll confirm it.”

Now that Barry was paying attention, the story made sense. Treble had a nervous tick belonging to Ray and a faraway look in her eye that reminded Barry of Caitlyn when she was concentrating. Her mostly calm mask was Sara’s and her relaxed-but-powerful stance was a mix of Rene’s and Kara’s. The more he looked, the more he saw his friends’ body language. Now that he thought about it, it was a thing Nora and Joe shared with her; as if they’d been raised together by a large group of heroes who’d have to pass the young kids off frequently leaving one person babysitting so the others could go on missions...

Joe and Nora were on a trip with Iris to meet Wally. Barry was hearing a vague hunch, and that wasn’t enough reason to call them back.

He shrugged, “Look, just tell us who your parents are and maybe we’ll believe your story.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because my parents aren’t together yet at this point in the timeline, and I kind of like existing.”

Cisco held up a glass from when they’d given her water earlier, “Well, we’ll know who you are soon enough.”

Treble’s face darkened, “You don’t want to do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because my parents have a very specific arc of enemies-to-friends-to-lovers and they’re only in the friends stage right now!”

“Don’t worry, kid,” Cisco said, “Finding out about you will probably just bring them closer together.”

Barry and Cisco were about to walk away when the brunette responded.

“Well, let me narrow down the search a little.”

The containment cell was set up to combat the frequencies they’d heard from Treble before.

It was not set up to contain a full sonic scream.

That definitely narrowed the search on Treble’s parents. It narrowed it to two known metas.

“I warned you,” Treble said simply as she took the glass from Cisco, “I’ll just go find those two speedy idiots now if you don’t mind.”

With one sharp note, she shattered the glass and ground the pieces into the floor with her shoe.

...

“So, Siren or Canary?” Cisco asked as they ran the DNA test, “My bet is on Laurel with that attitude, but she does kind of have Dinah’s coloring.”

Caitlyn shrugged, “Well, could be either depending on who they end up with. It’s a toss of the dice; this girl looks neutral enough that she could be either of theirs, or neither.”

Treble had cut herself when she broke the glass. She’d probably thought the blood sample was too small and too ground into the floor, but Barry had scraped some off for Caitlyn to run a paternity test on.

The test beeped and Caitlyn looked confused at the results.

“Wait, no. That can’t be right.”

“What can’t be right?” Barry asked.

“The test didn’t just come back with a match from the database of known metas and heroes,” Caitlyn said, strangely serious, “It came back with two.”

“Well, which was it, and who do they end up with?” Cisco asked impatiently.

Caitlyn shook her head, “No. You don’t understand. This girl isn’t just a match for Laurel Lance or Dinah Drake. Genetically... she’s a match for both of them.”

...

Dinah didn’t believe it, and she was staring at a computer screen that clearly linked her DNA and Laurel’s to the meta from the future Barry had captured.

Barry had gone to get a Laurel from Earth 2. Dinah wasn’t sure she wanted to face her.

“How is this possible?” She asked finally, “Two women can’t have a child.”

“Barry called Kara,” Caitlyn said, “It’s not possible for humans yet. But her people have a kind of tech that can create a baby from a sample of DNA as small as a strand of hair. It doesn’t matter what the parents’ genders are.”

“And this girl definitely acted like Laurel,” Cisco pointed out, “But her cry sounded like yours.”

Dinah stared at the security image of the kid. She had Dinah’s hair and Laurel’s facial structure. Dinah had to admit... she did look like the perfect combination of Siren and Canary.

“How sure are you?”

“Very sure,” Caitlyn said, “The match for both of you was 99.98%. If she somehow faked her DNA, she did a very good job.”

“What’s her name?”

Cisco shrugged, “We have no idea. She wouldn’t tell us anything. We called her Treble before, but... now I’m thinking we need to come up with something more avian for her.”

“What’s this I hear about a kid from the future who claims to be my—“ Laurel stopped as she rounded the corner, “Dinah.”

“I was going to wait to tell her,” Barry said, somewhat defensively as he came around the corner, “But she was very persuasive.”

“So apparently we have a kid,” Dinah said simply.”

“Naturally,” Laurel responded, “Barry said it was alien tech.”

“Yup.”

“You both are being surprisingly cool about this,” Cisco said.

“I come from a parallel universe where you were one of the most feared men on the planet,” Laurel pointed out, “Babies made with by two women via alien technology is not that far fetched.”

“First of all, ouch,” Cisco said, “Second, we wanted to wait until we had both of you here to try to find her, so any ideas how to do that?”

Laurel shrugged, “If she’s my daughter, you might be able to track her cry. Felicity did that once.”

“But then we won’t be able to find her until she uses it,” Caitlyn objected.

Dinah shrugged, “Well, I kind of doubt she’s going to hurt anyone, being our kid.”

“You never know,” Laurel muttered, “I wasn’t exactly an angel child when I was young.”

...

The brown-haired girl guessed she wasn’t that surprised when two birds landed behind her.

What would become the Justice League was too good not to.

“Hey, little girl,” the Siren said, “We heard you’ve been causing a lot of trouble.”

The girl didn’t respond.

“You got a name?” the Canary asked.

“Violet Canary.”

“How about your real name?” the Siren pressed.

Violet Canary finally turned around to face her mothers, “Quinn Olivia Drake.”

“You’re here to get Nora and Joe,” Dinah said.

“That’s right.”

“So,” Laurel said after a few seconds of awkward silence, “Which of us is ‘Mom’ and which is ‘Mama?’”

Quinn shrugged, “I don’t know. You both died before I was born.”

“What?” Dinah asked.

“What happened to not being able to tell anything about the future?” Laurel added.

“It’s different,” Quinn muttered, “I never knew you, but I spent my whole life missing you. I understand why Nora and Joe did what they did. I wish I could do it, too. But I know that I can’t make you survive the Crisis without possibly making something worse happen in response.”

“What could be the harm in spending a few days here?” Laurel asked, surprising both Quinn and Dinah, “If you never got to know us in your time?”

Quinn smiled sadly, “More than you think.”

“Whether you knew us or not, you’re our daughter,” Dinah said, “We want to know you.”

“I can teach you some tricks with your cry,” Laurel volunteered.

Quinn knew it would lead to more harm than good. She knew she could disrupt the very timeline she had come here to preserve.

But the chance to spend time with the mothers she never knew? To possibly prevent them from ever dying in the first place?

“Just for a couple days.”

[fandomdancer]

1, 7, 22, 30, 40, 46, 49

Original post below so you can see the list. I am answering these questions but if you are interested in hearing more, I can answer more!

1:  What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded?

I have two OCs right now I could answer this for, so I’ll actually answer for both.

My first OC is Talia Talbot. I was brainstorming names and just wanted something fun and carefree-sounding. The first thing that popped into my head was ‘Tabby’ with ‘Tabitha’ as the full name. My brain just decided it didn’t want the ‘kitty cat’ subtext and I started thinking of names with the same rhythm. ‘Tally’ came next, with ‘Talia’ as the full name, and I got stuck on it. As for ‘Talbot’ as the last name, I was literally just thinking of last names that felt right and and ‘Talbot’ just sort of popped out of my mouth. So really - ‘Tally’ was kind of a random name that had the right rhythm and it stuck. ‘Talia’ itself means ‘gentle dew from heaven/by the water’ which is a soft and beautiful meaning and kind of fits her personality. She is the steady person in her relationships, the listener, the supporter.

The second OC is Roslyn and to be honest I haven’t decided on her last name yet. My original idea for the character was a rich girl with an aristocratic name. I asked my girlfriend for help and she replied: “Roslyn” without hesitation. I don’t usually choose the first name that comes to mind but it sounded so absolutely perfect, the only thing I asked was: “Roslyn or Rosalyn?” She said: “Roslyn” and that was that. So...I don’t have her maiden name, but that is how I got Roslyn Thawne (yep...you read that right). The meaning of her name is ‘gentle horse/rose’ and while I know the story she is involved in, I’m not sure if the meaning of her name fits.

7:  Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)?

Tally tries to keep her swearing down. How does she do it? Usually by muttering: “For the love of....” without actually finishing the sentence. Her frustration level can be determined by how loud, soft, fast, or slow she says it!

Roslyn is a big fan of asking questions without actually asking them. She’ll flatten the end of a sentence so she isn’t actually making a questioning sound, but usually the sound that comes out is pretty sarcastic. “Really...” is something she’ll say, usually to let someone know they’re going too far, or doing something completely ridiculous.

22:  What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have?

Tally and her best friend Ren (short for Renault...but only she can call him that ;) ) have matching tattoos. I know they have but honestly I don’t know what they are yet haha. (They’re both still in development)

Roslyn is even less developed so I’m not sure of any distinguishing characteristics. I know she has a smattering of freckles on her face and her significant other (Eobard) does like to kiss them when he feels affectionate.

30:  When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like?

Tally loves music. She listens to most kinds from all decades, from Billie Holiday and Kay Starr to Elvis Presley and The Runaways, to the Bangles and the Backstreet Boys. She does prefer songs with lyrics and doesn’t spend a lot of time in the classical or smooth jazz range. She does have a solid appreciation for movie scores. She has a tendency to annoy the Wells (EoWells and Harry both) by blasting classic rock when she’s burying herself in work, but Cisco will often drop by for an impromptu dance party. Film wise - she gets along like a house on fire with Cisco Ramon so the two of them share their love of classic - and not-so-classic - films. She’ll quote scenes from Die Hard with him over the course of a day, and then flop down with Buster Keaton and a bowl of popcorn in her off hours. She isn’t big on going to the theatre for plays but will sneak over if it’s a musical or a dance show (like Riverdance).

Roslyn received piano lessons at a young age (which she eventually traded for violin lessons), and is definitely quieter than Tally when it comes to musical tastes. She enjoys film scores, orchestral or symphonic music, and even band music when she can get to it. She considers opera to be an impressive vocal achievement but doesn’t listen to it on a regular basis (unless Eobard’s listening and letting it play in the house). Roslyn doesn’t quite enjoy sitting and watching many films or plays or television but will do it occasionally. She prefers to be outside, enjoying what nature she can.

40:  Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others?

I actually can answer this for Ren, not Tally or Roslyn (because I just don’t know yet). Ren’s guilty pleasure is comedies. He was a more casual fellow before the catastrophe that ripped him and Tally apart, but later he comes off as very grumpy and dark. No one would suspect his favorite actor is Dan Aykroyd and he secretly loves to watch Addams Family and Get Smart and Max Headroom.

46:  What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover?

Tally will blow kisses at Ren randomly. She doesn’t do it during serious moments like when they’re at work, but relaxing, or even at a dinner party, she’ll send one when she thinks no one is looking (however, someone often sees).

Roslyn knows Eobard isn’t huge on contact so she adapts the Vulcan affectionate gesture between Sarek and Amanda, and usually keeps two fingers in contact with a part of him when there is need for support or when her heart is full. Eobard will at times be more comfortable with contact, and instead of letting her rest her fingers on him he’ll take her hand or place his hand on her opposite waist. When the two of them are truly alone they are in much more prolonged contact with each other but in most situations it’s just the two fingers.

49:  What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood?

Tally consistently dreams about the final moments of her Earth - Earth-15. As she spends more time on Earth-1, the dreams are less frequent but they still happen. They heavily affect her mood at first but again, over time, the effect lessens. She never truly stops being affected by them and they never truly stop. Sometime she dreams about what actually happened, and sometimes her mind makes up alternate. She has woken with a start, woken normally but disturbed, woken screaming, woken crying. In a few short hours, she lost everyone and everything but the clothes on her back, and she is scarred from that for the rest of her life.

Roslyn doesn’t start to really have nightmares until she sees how far Eobard is falling into his obsession with The Flash. She dreams often of him turning on them, or leaving them. Little does she know their daughter Melody also dreams of him killing them. This is an additional strain on her marriage to him, particularly when he begins to say and do things she thought she had only dreamed. She is watching her husband and the love of her life descend into madness and she is helpless to stop it.

Original Post:

Get to know my character

Reblog this so your followers can spam your ask box. Have fun! ♥

01. What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded? 02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness? 03. What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves? 04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical) 05. Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type? 06. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying? 07. Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)? 08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it? 09. Do they have a favorite season? What about a favorite holiday? 10. Is your character more feminine or masculine? 11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage? 12. Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up? 13. What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Blanket stealer? One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker? 14. Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates? 15. Is there a certain person in this world that they cannot stand? The very mention of this person’s name makes them tremble with anger or fear. 16. Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like? 17. Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children? 18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode? 19. Would your character be the kind to get into fights? (physical or verbal) Would they be a good fighter or cave in rather easily? 20. Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures? 21. What is one of your character’s biggest fears? How would they react when dealing with this fear? 22. What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have? 23. What is your character like when it comes to school? What subjects are they good/bad at? Do they get in trouble a lot or are well behaved? 24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like? 25. Is there something traumatic from your character’s past that greatly affects them even to this day? 26. What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc? 27. If your character was going to get arrested, what would be the most likely reason for it? 28. If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for? 29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one? 30. When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like? 31. Would your character be the kind capable of killing? Would they enjoy killing or only use it when necessary or, perhaps, refuse to kill no matter what? 32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do? 33. If your character wanted to be alone, where would they go? 34. Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc) 35. Is your character afraid of death? If they got to choose how to die, how would they want to go? 36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life? 37. What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them? 38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc? 39. When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct? 40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others? 41. Does your character’s family affect your character in any way? 42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change? 43. Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self? 44. Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character? 45. Is your character the kind to hide their true emotions or do they wear their heart on their sleeve?

46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover? 47. Is your character outgoing? Would they be the leader of the friend group, or the quiet one that gets dragged along? 48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious? 49. What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood? 50. If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say?

[singledarkshade]

Pieces Of A Puzzle

Part Four Gideon waited while Miranda took a deep breath readying herself to continue. Once she was focussed Miranda followed Gideon back into the lab finding Rip had been joined by three very familiar faces.

“Mr Allen, Dr Snow and Mr Ramon,” Miranda nodded to them in greeting, “I did not expect to see you.”

“Well Star Labs is their base,” Rip noted as Gideon moved to his side, he slid his hand into hers making Gideon smile softly, “We can’t use it without their agreement and, considering your announcement this may destroy our Universe, then they have a stake in this as well.”

Miranda nodded, “It’s a pleasure to meet you all. Although I’m surprised your wife isn’t here, Mr Ramon.”

“My what?” Cisco asked confused.

Miranda glanced at Rip who shook his head, “Sorry, that must only be on my Earth.”

The younger man looked at the others before asking, “Who am I married to on your Earth? Just to make sure I know when I meet her, I’m charming and don’t accidentally chase her away.”

“That might not be a good idea,” Miranda said before she shrugged, “Then again, it’s not really future knowledge since this is a different world to mine.”

“So?” Cisco asked.

“Is this really important right now?” Barry demanded.

Cisco sighed before telling Miranda, “We’ll talk later.”

She gave him a smile and a quick conspiratorial wink.

“Miranda, can you tell us why you’re here,” Rip steered them back to the topic, “Because every moment Gideon and I have our memories restored puts our son in danger.”

Gideon tightened her grip on his hand surprised but delighted that he’d referred to Jonas as their son now he was Rip and not Michael.

Miranda nodded, “Several years ago there was an accident during a training exercise. One of the cadets decided to cheat and reprogrammed the AI for the training ship not realising what the simulation was going to be.” She paused for a moment before continuing, “The simulation included the ship ‘crash-landing’ on an unstable planet and then the time drive overloading. The AI had specific safety protocols for the simulation, but the reprogramming disabled these.”

Gideon glanced at Rip seeing his face blank before she said softly, “I assume the core overloaded.”

Miranda nodded, “There was one training officer with them.”

“Who?” Rip asked.

“Captain Warren Dobson,” she replied, “He sent the cadets to escape and then tried to stop the overload but…”

“He wasn’t able to,” Gideon said softly.

Sadly, Miranda shook her head.

“Wait,” Rip said thoughtfully, “Which planet was this?”

“Kilare,” Miranda stated, nodding in agreement hearing Rip swear. At the questioning looks from the three meta-humans, she explained, “The planet itself is not stable within the timestream or the universe itself. It slips in and out of phase. The Time Masters kept it fixed using artificial means. It was used for training because they could control it’s unique qualities.”

“The overload of the time core would have set off a chain reaction within the stabilisers,” Gideon noted thoughtfully, “Which in turn would have released the planet into it’s natural cycle. This along with the time core energy…

 “I can guess what that did to Dobson,” Rip took over when Gideon trailed off, “What happened?”

“The Acheron was able to rescue the cadets, but a huge anomaly was created that threatened to destroy everything,” Miranda took in a shaky breath, “The only other ship closest to it was the Waverider.”

Rip frowned in thought, “The Waverider’s time core, if altered properly, would have been able to counteract the energy released. Although doing so would overload every system it had with fatal consequences.”

Gideon could see Miranda was barely holding herself together when she nodded confirming Rip’s theory.

“What does that mean exactly?” Caitlin asked softly.

Gideon squeezed Rip’s hand before answering, “Using the Waverider’s own time drive, the Rip Hunter of that universe neutralised the anomaly, but it destroyed his ship and I assume he was killed at the same time.”

Silence filled the room for several minutes as they all took this in.

Rip broke the silence, “If this was a few years ago and the anomaly was neutralised, why are you here now?”

“Until two days ago we thought it had been,” Miranda told them, her voice shaking only slightly, “And then we began receiving signals from that section of space. The ships sent to investigate were drained of all energy. One of them managed to get a message out to us, it was Dobson.”

Gideon mused, “That is incredible he survived.”

“We know that he feels he was abandoned,” Miranda continued, “And the energy he’s draining is making him stronger but it’s a drug to him. He’s on a rampage and won’t listen to any of us. We tried to reason with him, but he destroyed one of the ships with basically a flick of his hand. If we don’t stop him, he will destroy everything. Then he’ll follow Kilare’s path to the next universe. This one.”

Rip frowned, crossing his arms over chest, “This doesn’t explain why you’re here.”

“Because we’re sure that the Waverider, since it did it once before, is the key to stopping him. The Time Core energy signature was found amongst the energy readings,” Miranda explained, “Although I did expect Gideon to still be an AI.”

Gideon turned to Rip who sighed, “Unfortunately, we don’t have the Waverider anymore.”

Silence fell once more, broken when Cisco suggested, “We could always steal it?”

                                  *********************************************

  Miranda sat in the small lounge in Star Labs, her head in her hands. It had been a tiring few days and she knew coming to find another version of her love would be emotional, but she didn’t expect to feel like this.

“Here,” Gideon’s soft voice came making Miranda look up to see a mug of tea placed on the table before her, “I’m hoping you take a drop of milk and half a teaspoon of sugar.”

A small smile touched Miranda’s lips, “I do. Thank you.”

“I can only imagine how hard this is for you,” Gideon took the seat at her side, “To have lost the one you love and then come to a place with someone who looks like him but isn’t.”

Taking a sip of her tea Miranda turned to the other woman, “To be honest, the strangest thing about this is you.”

Gideon gave a soft laugh, “I can understand that. Now I remember my former life, I am still amazed to be human.”

Miranda studied her, “You seem familiar, like I already knew you. Can I ask where this appearance comes from?”

“It is how I decided to look,” Gideon shrugged, “It gave me a way to interact with my Captain easier within his dreams. I could not say for certain if the other version of me would have shown this façade to you but the Miranda I knew saw me like this frequently. Plus, I look hot.”

Laughing Miranda nodded, “Yes, you do.” Sobering she let out a soft sigh, “He loves you, and I remember when he looked at me that way.”

“He still looks at you that way,” Gideon took the other woman’s hand, “But the Miranda he knew died. His wife, who he loved with every part of him, was taken by people he trusted and seeing you hurts him more than even he understands. Why do you think he was so antagonistic when you first arrived? You know how well Rip deals with this sort of thing.”

“I lost my Rip,” Miranda reminded her.

“But he died a hero doing what he always did, protecting people,” Gideon replied, “Our Miranda was killed on the orders of the Time Masters, the people who raised you both and gave him a purpose. Rip tried so many times to save her, but there was no way for him to do so. It took him a lot of time to come to terms with the fact he couldn’t.”

“Now I feel bad for being jealous,” Miranda sighed.

“Jealous?”

“Because he still has you,” she explained to the former AI, “And I lost you both.”

Gideon’s arms were suddenly around her and Miranda smiled, leaning into the hug. It didn’t surprise her that a woman who once had no physical form would be so tactile.

“Thank you, Gideon,” Miranda breathed as they parted, “You’re still looking after me as well as Rip.”

Gideon smiled at her, “My Captain loves you, taking care of you ensures his happiness. That was my purpose.”

“What’s your purpose now?” Miranda asked.

“To love him,” Gideon replied with a shrug, “And raise the boy who calls me Mummy with him.”

Miranda sighed, “I’m sorry I interrupted that but…”

“You need our help,” Gideon finished for her, “And we will help you. Rip and team Flash are discussing how to acquire the Waverider with the one person who knows we are here.”

  “Are you kidding me?”

Rip sighed, “Unfortunately not, Mr Rory. Can you tell me where the Waverider currently is?”

“We’re in 1658,” Mick told him.

“In the middle of a mission?” Rip asked.

“We’re finishing up,” he replied, “Getting the idiots back on board.”

Musing for a moment, Rip said, “Can you knock the crew out once you’re in the temporal zone?”

“Gideon left me instructions just in case,” Mick told him, “I’ll signal you once it’s done.”

“Thank you, Mr Rory.”

Cutting communication Rip turned to the three people watching him.

“Question,” Barry spoke up, “I know Mick is technically a good guy these days, but do you actually trust him for this?”

Rip nodded, “Mick understands that anything to do with the Time Masters technology has to be kept away from everyone. It’s the same reason he’s helping me hide Jonas.”

“Okay,” Barry nodded, “What’s your plan?”

“Currently, once Mick knocks out the Legends we take over the Waverider,” Rip told them, “Once Miranda gives me the co-ordinates we can do some reconnaissance then we can pull together a plan to stop Dobson.”

Cisco nodded, “Okay, Barry will give Wally a call to take over here at Star Labs while we’re away.”

“Wait,” Rip said before asking, “We?”

“You’re going after an interdimensional juiced up Time Master who’s out to destroy the universe,” Cisco said with a grin, “Of course we’re coming.”

A slight smile touched Rip’s lips, “Your help will be appreciated.”

“Their help?” Gideon asked as she walked back in with Miranda.

Rip turned to them, “It appears we will have a crew for this mission.”

A flash of excitement covered Miranda’s face quickly before it became impassive again, making Rip smile slightly. He knew how much Miranda adored the stories of the Central City heroes and the fact she would be getting to work with them on a mission was something she once told him she had dreamed about.

“Okay, while we wait for Mick to get back to us,” Barry said, “Let’s get our stuff together.”

“Captain Coburn,” Cisco moved to her side as they started out, “We should talk.

  Gideon smiled watching the three heroes of Central City left the room with Miranda. Moving to Rip’s side she rested her hand on his arm.

“Are you alright?” she asked worriedly.

Rip shrugged, “You know we should be having dinner after our wedding right now?”

“I know,” Gideon said softly, smiling when he wrapped his arms around her, “But we’ll get this sorted and we can finish the ceremony, if that’s what you want?”

“Hey,” he said softly, tilting her face up so he could look into her eyes, “We’re going to fix this, and when we get back we’ll finish our wedding. Then have the honeymoon we were talking about.”

Gideon let out a soft sigh as he kissed her.

“But before we reset our memories,” Rip said giving her a pointed look, “You’re telling me how you became human.”

“It is not an interesting story,” Gideon shrugged, her arms wrapping around his waist, “It was a small magical accident. I was suddenly human, I no longer had a connection to my ship, so I asked Mr Rory to bring me here. To be with you.”

Rip smiled at her before whispering, “I’m sorry you lost your connection to the Waverider, I know that must have been hard for you.”

Cuddling close to him, Gideon sighed softly, “It was but I got you back, Captain. And it was all I wanted.”

Rip pressed a soft kiss to her lips, taking the few moments of time alone together.

[simikaurblog]

Idea 2 - mental health & examples of work

Breaking the stigma around taking a mental health - is this a issue that needs to be spoken about? How do people feel when it comes to mental health? These are things that I want to find out and research into. Again, this is a subject that I feel strongly about as I feel that everyone gets affected. It doesn’t mean that you need to be diagnosed with a serious illness, but it goes back to simple feeling too like stress, panic, anxiety, depression, loneliness. 

I have made a mind map in my sketchbook about facts, opinions and possible ideas that I could explore. I feel that today society is really impacted by mental health and I want to make people talk about it and not hide from their feelings.  One thing that I have noticed popping up again while researching is that UK mental health services are failing young people. ‘‘Young people’‘ could this be a target audience that I can explore within in my work? I feel that I need to focus on audience in which will be effective with the work that I will be producing. This is something that I need to return to and solve out. 

Here is a article I found. 

Mental health isn’t being talked about and there seems to be a stigma that is attached to it in genders, socially and culturally. Why is this? Is it because of history or generations that pass down on how we should act and feel? 

History 

Mental illness has a long history from being thought of as the mark of the devil to being considered a moral punishment. Treatment has historically been brutal and inhumane. The Neolithic times, involved chipping a hole in the person's skull to release the evil spirits. I think the stigma has come out of fear and a lack of understanding. 

What types of mental health illness are there?

Schizophrenia 

Anxiety

Bipolar

Depression

Stress

Eating disorders

OCD

Personality disorder 

Psychosis

Self-harm / sucidal 

Facts 

One in four people will experience a mental health problem at some point in their lives.

Around one in ten children experience mental health problems.

The number of people experiencing mental illness in the UK is 16 million

Women are more likely to have mental health issues 

11% of the NHS budget is spent on mental health

Half of all mental illness begins by the age of 14

75% of young people with a mental health problem are not receiving treatment

Drugs are the most common form of treatment

The average waiting time for effective treatment is 10 years

Up to 300,000 people with mental health problems lose their jobs each year

These facts and statics are shocking. I am disappointed that the only common treatment is drugs. I strongly disagree with this. The number of medicines given  for anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder and panic attacks have more than doubled in the past 10 years. I feel that there are other methods of treatment that can help people and drugs is not one of them. You can get side effect and gain other illness by taking drugs. What if a person relies on drugs and starts to take too many? This is a problem I want to solve. Treatments can vary from therapy, meditation, focussing on health and food, talking to people and does not need drugs. I feel that this only a choice as the government find it easier to treat by giving some one drugs and leaving them with that. The issue does start with the government - why cannot they make new rules with health care and help people? 

Mental health stories / voices 

How can I make thee voices be heard? How can I tell people who don’t understand what it is like? Maybe I can use visual elements and communicate the feelings, frustration and express what mental health can be like when you are dismissed and not understood. 

Examples on what has been done? 

Mindnosis by Sara Lopez Ibanez - has created a self-assessment kit to support those with mental health issues. The artist researched how the UK approaches mental health what types of therapy they offered. She found that people struggled with the initial communication with their doctors. She solved this problem by creating a kit, which allows users to discover the type of help they need, and where they can get it from. It includes a set of eight activity cards that combine mindfulness, cognitive behaviour therapy techniques and tips from peers to help users when they feel unwell.  I like the idea and concept of the design, however feel the design is washy and dull. 

Tear Gun by Yi-Fei Chen - created a visual metaphor in the form of a tear gun that represents her personal struggle with expressing her thoughts. The gun fires bullets made from frozen tears. The designer made this because of a  negative encounter she has with a tutor. The gun was made as a response to this as well as to show she was unable to voice her personal struggles.

I think that this product is clever, however how will this help others who are going through mental health? 

Calming stone by Ramon Telfer - Ramon Telfer who struggles with anxiety worked with Calming stone co-founder Alex Johnson to develop a hand-held device that eases anxiety through the use of light and sound. I think that this device is appealing and if it uses light and sound I know scientifically this can effect our mind in a positive way. 

The device needs to sit in the palm of the hand, then a copper ring sensor will run around the edge while sensing the user's heart rate. It mimics the rate with a softly glowing light and a slight pulsing sensation. The designer states: ‘because stress is very real and life is a fully tactile, sensory experience, we have created and evolved our learnings into a beautiful, intimate product that anyone can hold, feel and listen to’.

I can see how this device is helpful and I like how it works. It would be cool if it had a voice which could read out some advice or do some mediation techniques. 

Male Baggage - this is has a target audience for men who are brought up to believe talking about their feelings is a sign of weakness. 

 ‘Enough of the bollocks. Real men talk’. This aims to break the stereotypes that are formed, and encourages men to talk about their feelings without fear of judgement. It has comical point of view as it has pink balloon bollocks attached. I think that this campaign is effective and different. It has the potential to tackle a whole host of overlooked issues that  mental health has formed over many years. 

Samaritans We Listen by MullenLowe London   - this agency has made posters to provide support to people when they are most in need. The charity works with the UK train industry to reduce suicides on the country’s railways as this is a issue that happens frequently.

After doing some research Samaritans had identified they were hearing from people when they were already at crisis point. What the best way they can do to prevent suicide is getting to people much much earlier. They want to get to the point of initial distress, rather than getting the last desperate phone call.

I like how the poster has highlighted specific words and added their details at the bottom of the poster. Could I create a poster? I feel that posters are something that gets designed easily by putting on a message and image and your done. 

Nest by John Lewis - is an campaign created with the mental health charity Mind. The purpose was to demonstrate how your home environment can directly affect your mental health and wellbeing. This guide helps people to declutter their home. 

Anxiety and depression - health crisis of the millennial generation. 

1 in 5 of 20-35 year olds currently suffer with anxiety and / or depression in the UK . 

These are issue that still isn't being publicly addressed. I can appreciate how this charity help people declutter their homes as it does affect our mood and wellbeing unlike research I have done that shows drugs are the common treatment given. 

Looking at this for inspiration I feel like a guide is something that I can produce - I just need to find my message and what I am solving. 

Stuart Semple - raise funds for CALM – campaign against living miserably. This artwork is apart of the band, Placebo. The artist is an ambassador for Mind, the mental health charity. Semple wanted to bring awareness to the issue of mental health and made this art piece. 

He researched into suicide and that it is the single largest cause of death amongst young men (20 – 45) in England and Wales. 

The charity helps and supports men of any ages who are down or in crisis using their telephone line and website. They also do work to challenge the stigma and culture that seems to prevent men asking for help. 

The artist states: ‘’I feel that this is vital and valuable service that goes underfunded’’. So all the bids on his work will go straight to the charity. 

I like the art piece shown and the effects that have been applied. Everyone has different pieces of design that expresses this situation. I feel that if I was to choose mental health how can I use design to express my response to this brief. 

[thecsientist]

david singh isn’t blind

Read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/13243989

David Singh knows Barry's dating Starling City's mayor Oliver Queen. How does he know? He has eyes - he's seen ten things to lead him to the belief.

Words: 1506, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: The Flash (TV 2014), Arrow (TV 2012)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Barry Allen, Oliver Queen

Relationships: Barry Allen/Oliver Queen

Additional tags: Barry isn’t the Flash

David Singh wasn’t blind. He was a detective, after all. He had reason to believe that Barry Allen, the shy CSI who everyone said was in love with Detective West’s daughter, was dating someone. He hadn’t been very proactive with hiding it and David had seen at least ten different indications that he was in a relationship with Starling City’s mayor, Oliver Queen.

1. He was significantly happier.

As a boy who had to live with the trauma of a dead mother and a father with a life sentence, Barry wasn’t the happiest. Sure, he wasn’t depressing, but he often gave David the impression that he was just surviving, not living. Just taking each day as it comes.

Now? Now Barry Allen walked with a spring in his step and a consistent hint of a smile on his face. Every time his phone screen lit up with a new text message, his face glowed along with it as a grin creeped onto his face. Everyone was glad that he was happier, but David couldn’t help but wonder who had been the one to pull Barry back into a happier reality.

2. He began rushing through his work.

David knew that it was unlike Barry to rush through paperwork. Normally, he took his time and messed around with fun little experiments while awaiting a sample analysis. Now, every once in a while, Barry would rush through the paperwork so he could get off work earlier.

“Anywhere you need to get to in such a hurry?” David asked casually as he leafed through Barry’s paperwork to do a quick check. Barry glanced around nervously and answered, “No, no. I’m just tired and I really want to get home early today.”

David knew that wasn’t the real reason. He had been there before, after all, back when he first started dating Rob. He’d done his work in a hurry so he could get back home to his boyfriend. So who exactly was Barry itching to see?

3. The one time he came to work with sex hair and a hickey.

David had noticed it the moment Barry tripped into the precinct. The scent of sex hung heavy in the air around Barry and his eyes landed on the CSI who had a just-fucked daze in his eyes and of course, the obvious hickey he'd poorly hidden on his collarbone. His hair was an absolute mess and his clothes looked as if he’d pulled them on quickly, to avoid being later than he already was.

“Allen, what happened?" David asked, indicating the hickey and his general appearance. Barry glanced down and quickly pulled his jacket over to cover it as he shook his head, “Nothing, Captain. I'm fine.” David raised an eyebrow and watched him run upstairs to his lab. His slight limp didn’t escape David’s attention.

4. At random periods of time, he went out every lunch break.

Barry didn’t always go outside for lunch breaks. The only times he ever did so was if his friends Caitlin Snow and Cisco Ramon weren’t in the mood to get him lunch and Iris was too busy to grab him some coffee. Otherwise, he stayed in his lab and tended to the endless stack of paperwork and folders on his desk.

However, every once in a while, for a week each time, Barry would (without fail) leave the precinct for lunch break before he returned to his normal behavior of staying in the lab during lunch breaks. Joe had confirmed that Barry wasn’t meeting with Iris or the other two scientists. So who exactly was Barry so willing to leave his lab for? Clearly not someone who lived in Central, or Barry would have gone out every lunch break. This person lived in another city and visited a week each time. But who?

5. He wore clothes that weren't his own.

David obviously noticed it. Barry Allen was a big softie. He absolutely refuses to ride the bikes to crime scenes, much less go near anything labelled as ‘edgy’. Yet there he was, walking into the precinct dressed in a leather jacket a size too big for him. Joe passed a casual remark that Barry once mentioned that he would never wear leather jackets.

And there was another time, when Barry wore a shirt that hung loosely on him. Iris had seen it when she came over to get lunch with Eddie and she laughed, saying Barry never liked oversized clothing. Which led David to wonder why would Barry wear clothes he hates? Obviously, they belong to someone he loves and he shares clothes with his partner. David understood that — he has worn some of Rob’s clothes to work before. Judging from the clothes, Barry was dating a man. But who?

6. He had made frequent trips to Starling City.

David had walked into an empty lab — Barry was late again. He sighed and walked over to the CSI’s desk to leave his work for the day, his attention being caught by train tickets. Glancing around, he reaffirmed that Barry wasn’t present before he picked up the train tickets to check. They were two-way trips between Central and Starling. A drawer was open and David realized there were even more Central to Starling tickets in it. So he was making frequent visits to Starling. His boyfriend definitely lives there, then. Who?

7. He was suddenly interested in politics.

Barry Allen, pacifist, never interested in politics in the slightest. It was until Mayor Queen’s political rival, Sebastian Blood, had been making a speech and someone praised the man that David found Barry’s sudden interest in politics strange.

“I think he would make a better mayor than Queen, in my opinion,” Eddie had said as he, Barry, Joe and David watched the politician make a rousing speech on the small television. Barry’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance and he said, “Blood doesn’t strike me as a sincere leader. Queen genuinely cares for the citizens of Starling.” Joe raised an eyebrow, as if to ask how he would know. Barry quickly added on, “I mean, you can see it in the way he does things. Every decision he makes is for the good of his city. I can see it. Can’t you?”

“I guess,” Eddie shrugged, not up for getting into an argument with his friend about Starling’s politicians. David found it suspicious how he cared so much about something he often told his friends to never talk to him about.

8. Oliver Queen showing up at the CCPD.

David had gone up to Barry’s lab again, surprise coloring his face at the sight of Starling City’s mayor already there.

“Mayor Queen. What brings you to CCPD?” he asked. Oliver turned around and asked, “Hello, are you the captain?” David nodded and Oliver answered, “I’m here to ask your CSI for help on this sample. I need an analysis done on it.” He indicated the ziplock bag in his hands. David questioned, “Not to be rude, but why can’t you ask SCPD’s CSI?” Oliver gave him a wry smile, “Your CSI is much more capable, Captain.”

It was more than suspicious to David, but he kept his mouth shut.

9. The time he caught Barry on Oliver Queen’s Wikipedia page.

It was strange, least to say, when David walked in on Barry scrolling through Oliver Queen’s Wikipedia page, snickering to himself as he made minor modifications to the information.

“Allen, what are you doing?” David asked. Barry sat up straight in surprise and slammed his laptop shut, answering, “Um… nothing?” David narrowed his eyes, “You were editing Mayor Queen’s Wikipedia page.” Barry shrugged, caught, “I’m just playing a prank on him. I’ll change it all back after he’s seen it, don't worry.”

“You better. I don’t think he would appreciate someone making a joke out of him,” David advised. He heard Barry mutter something under his breath, but he didn’t pursue the matter any further.

10. And of course, the time he found Oliver Queen kissing Barry in the lab.

David couldn’t say he wasn’t expecting it, but it still caught him by surprise when he went up to Barry’s lab to the sight of Barry leaning down on his desk slightly, his hands pressed up to Oliver’s chest as the mayor kissed him. Their lips moved together in perfect synchronicity and Barry let out quiet breaths of contentedness against Oliver’s mouth. Oliver had one hand supporting Barry’s back, the other pressed to the edge of the desk.

David cleared his throat and the two immediately pulled apart. Barry’s cheeks were colored red, embarrassed that he’d been caught. Oliver didn’t look very fazed, however.

“Captain Singh, I’m so sorry,” Barry started. David interrupted, smiling, “No, Allen. It’s fine. I’m glad you found someone who makes you happy.” He turned to Oliver, “Now, he’s a favorite around here, so if you hurt him, just remember we’re all cops with guns.” Oliver gave him a quirk of his lips as he nodded, “I won’t hurt him, Captain.”

[theaccidentalstepmom]

Stepmom. Bonus mom. They call me GoGo.

I found myself here by accident... a happy accident. But being a full time stepmom was not something I exactly planned.

When we started dating they’d been separated 9 months and were 6 months into the divorce process. J had just filed a move away request to relocate with their 2 year old son to Hawaii where her boyfriend lived.

Dating man who’s just ended a 10 year relationship, has a toddler and is in the middle of a divorce and custody battle? Where do I sign up?!

A rational person would do a hard 180 and run away!! Less than a year out of a marriage, a 10 year marriage, is WAY too soon... right? (I still think it was too soon for him but I’m not sure waiting 6 months or even a year would have made much difference.) I had a pretty short conversation with myself and it went something like: “Okay GoGo he’s got a kid- if you’re in you have to be ALL in because this relationship goes south it affects an impressionable little boy who needs consistency right now- not more upheaval. Got it? (Yes ma’am.) Also, they have joint custody NOW but things change- life’s unpredictable- what if his ex dies and he becomes a full time dad? If you go into this relationship you go ALL in- eyes and heart open to all the possible futures. (Okay.) Finally, GoGo, just know you will probably have to step up in unexpected ways so... be ready!”

Taking care of another human being is exhausting. I love kids and can list all the adjectives on how great and rewarding children are but let’s not sugar coat this caregivign business it’s work and it’s hard work. I was a nanny for 5 years so I watched kids for maybe  6-8 hours a day and THAT was exhausting. Being a parent means that as soon as you wak up your on, then you drop your kid off at daycare and go to work when you get home, time to be a parent. You don’t have any down time. Ever. You basically don’t get to sleep until maybe they’re 5 years old.

So, I went in prepared for the unexpected. About a year into our relationship R and I were talking about moving in together and then  J’s move away request was denied so things seemed to be settling back to the old 2/2/3 custody schedule.

Then J surprised everyone and decided to move to Hawaii without P. That was a rough day.

She moved. She chose to move. Bottom line.

That’s why we’re dealing with what we’re dealing with. It’s a situation that was created by her actions and make significantly more difficult becuase of her behavior. It’s easy to get hung up and distracted by other details but it really comes back to that. Because if she had made the decision to move and owned that decision as a choice she made and been supportive of R who was now the primary parent, and done everything in her power to make the transition easier on her son and on R then that would have been another story. That would have been a very short blog. But she didn’t do that. She moved and she made it everyone else’s problem. She behaves as though this is a situation that she’s forced into. The solution to any conflict is that P move to Hawaii. She has no desire to make transitions easier for her son because when they are distressing for him, when he’s an emotional trainwreck it reinforces her belief that he needs her more than he needs his father. That he loves her more than he loves his father.

She moved. She could have stayed. She chose to move. Bottom line.

This arrangement is expensive and requires a lot of long travel (I’m not arguing that- this arrangement doesn’t seem sustainable long term but it’s her money). She is very vocal about what an inconvenience this all is, she is the victim, she has to make all the sacrifices, how she does everything for her son.

That’s her logic. Poor her. What a dedicated mother. Um yeah... sort of. But this is completely self created. If she haven’t moved she wouldn’t have to do any of this... If she she still lived here she’d get to see her son every few days and she wouldn’t have to travel every month. She would only need one apartment!

Instead of moving she could have gone to visit her boyfriend one week every month. Or he could have moved here!

She claims her move was financially motivated because SF is so expensive but her logic is SO flawed. True SF is expensive... but so is Hawaii. It’s not like she’d moved to Sacramento or Santa Rosa or even San Jose- that would have saved her money because rent is significantly cheaper and she would have been a 45 min drive away. That would have made sense. No, to “save money” she moved to Hawaii where she earns 30% less and in addition to paying for all her living expenses in Hawaii she also spends about $40K per year on an SF apartment and flights back and forth to visit her son. Which is commendable, I’m glad she’s able to visit him so frequently, but it’s hardly saving money.

In her mind she had to move. That’s what she’s told herself and she’s always coming up with explanations and excuses for how it wasn’t a choice so all the struggles are beyond her control... First she said she was moving was because rent was cheaper in Hawaii. Then she sort of dropped that (probably because no one was buying her claim that renting two apartments and flying back and forth to SF every month was less expensive than just renting one apartment in SF and not traveling) so she switched tactics. She had to move for “some reason”... but don’t focus on that- she is now the dedicated mother who sacrifices so much so she can see her son every month.

I’m not sure when or why but at some point her narrative evolved. It wasn’t enough that she was dedicated and sacrificing- how she’s also a victim. Now the lies really start. She’d lied before, many times, but this has become her persona.

Dedicated mom who’s ex is dragging her through court trying to get full custody of their son- she’s under so much stress! But she’s won’t quit fighting- she loves her son. Her ex is a monster and he’s always trying to prevent her from seeing her son and refuses to be flexible if she needs to change the schedule. And when her son is with her, her ex constantly wants to FaceTime their son and he emails her constantly and and harasses her!!

She moved there because her boyfriend lived there. Not because rent is cheaper.

She doesn’t have family in Hawii and neither does her boyfriend, all of their family and extended family lives in the midwest or East Coast.

We had met once before and I’d talked to her at a few functions but most of what I knew about her was throuh R. But she wanted to meet to talk about her move. I’d been observing her brand of crazy for over a year so I kind of new what to expect and mentally prepared myself for her to throw some twisted logic at me. I knew she’d be on her best behavior and would try to charm me- she wanted me to be her ally. We were gonna be like the lady version of Lennie Kravitz and Jason Whatever his face is... Aquaman. What I hadn’t prepared for was just how charming she would be; how convincing she would be. Damn, she is GOOD. Do you want to be Lennie or should I? You’re super styly, I think you should be him... but I’m Black so maybe it should be me?! Omg, I can’t decide. You’re so pretty, let’s braid each other’s hair!!

To hear her explain her reasons for moving she sounds very logical and rational- struggling mom who wants the best for her son. She was not the victem with me. Not at all. Strong woman has her shit together. Fully aware of the choice she’s making and she’s saying all the right things but the logic is wrong... or at least deeply flawed.

She was actually the first person to call me stepmom. I’m guessing she doesn’t remember that part of the conversation and if she does she’d probably deny it. Or maybe not- she’s unpredictable always keeping me on my toes. But let me tell you when the mother of youre boyfriend’s child meets with you and says “You’re going to be there every day, you’re stepping into the day to day “mom rol”e basically- I’m mean you’ll be his stepmom”. You REMEMBER that shit. My proverbial jaw hit the floor. SHE just called ME the stepmom. I had so many thoughts flash through my brain:

Did she just call me stepmom? Did that actually just happen?! It did! I’ve been toying around with that title with my friends because if I’m parenting every day I don’t really want to introduct myself as “P’s dad’s girlfriend”. But no way in Hell was I going to say it in front of her or bring that up today!! But SHE just said it... Okay, maybe this will go more smoothly than I thought. She seems to have a pretty clear understanding of the role I’ll be talking with HER child and seems okay with that (somehow).  If roles were reversed and I was taking to the woman who was going to be living with my child full time... I do not think I would be using that word also I would be sobbing. Stepmom. I need to tell Ramon. How is she moving? Is this really happening?

I honestly didn’t believe she was really moving until she got in the Uber to the airport.

All I can say is thank the gods I spent so much of my youth babysitting and was a nanny for 5 years because I had a pretty clear expectation for exactly how exhausting and mentally taxing being with a child 23/7 would be. Granted I’d never actually done it but I had a pretty clear idea what I was getting into. And since I hadn’t imagined this utopia it actually went really well. Like not many surprises. It was definitely more of an adjustment living with Rthan it was living with a kid.

What a difference 3 years makes. Well 2 years and 5 months really. 

--

I’ve started this blog/glorified online journal as a way to make sense of the shit beyond my control.

I’m not sure where to start... I guess it started when we met. R was 8 months out of a 10 year long relationship (8 year marriage) when we connected. He’d filed for divorce about 6 months prior and his ex had just filed a move-away request to relocate to Hawaii where her new boyfriend lived.

Here’s this incredible person that I’m falling in love with. And he’s a loving, affectionate and dedicated father who is also massively stressed out. His ex is trying to relocate with their son and she has a very expensive and aggressive attorney and she’s made it very clear she has a lot of money to throw at this to make sure she gets her way.

I guess I thought, I’m not an attorney so I can’t help R with all this legal stuff but I do know kids. I’m really good with kids. He’s a good parent parent, and this kid has a mother but both his parents are distracted and what this kids needs is an advocate. Someone not distracted by all their emotional shit and focused on him. So how can I help this kid? 

So I started reading books. Books on child psychology, books on divorce, books on parenting, books on co-parenting... books on Hugge. After a bunch of books on high conflict parenting realized we were in different territory and so I started reading books on  narcissm, passive agression, cognitive dissonance, toxic personalities anything I could get my hands on. (Thank you SF Public Library!!).

I’m the reader and I was trying to suss out what we were dealing with by reading the entire self help section of the library. R doesn’t read self help but he did seem to have good intuition about people. He was the one who kept around terms like narcissist, bi-polar and borderline personality. I looked up the actual definitions and I wasn’t comfortable using those terms. I’m still not.

Labels just make me uncomfortable. But I did and still do believe that J has some very concerning behaviors and that she can be very toxic. Also, although she appears impulsive and random her behavior has patterns- we’re defnitely playing a long game.

Also, I should mention that that when R first started using those labels was actually a red flag for me. Maybe he was the projecting- that’s what manipulative people do. Maybe HE was the bi-polar borderline narcissist, not her- so I was on high alert for any behavior or indication from him that seemed off.

I read about Parental Alienation Syndrom and I laser focused on that (I’ve since learned that a more approripate term is DV by Proxy). Regardless, R poopoo’d it- she wasn’t going to try to brainwash their son- she’s couldn’t they had a great relationship. Okay, let’s agree to disagree- hope you’re right (I really do) but just in case I’m gonna try to make sure this kid knows how to think for himself and what that feels like and how to recognize if someone is trying to tell him how to think or feel. Basically if she’s not trying to brainwash him then, great, he’ll be prepared if someone else tries. But if she is gonna try she’s going to have an uphill battle.

I just started reading this book but I think it really encapsulates my motivation and what I’m trying to instill:

“Your passivity was demanded to make that relationship work. Your recovery is living in the opposite spirit of being brow beaten to looking down at the ground. Your healing is about standing up tall, looking people in the eyes and calmly saying: I have my own opinions and I am okay if you disagree.” (Healing From a hidden Abuse, Shannon Thomas LCSW)

I do lots of role play lots of modeling behavior. I feel silly doing it but it does seem to resonate with him. The Whole Brained Child suggested adding “to me” to statements and that really resonated with me. I told R and he was on board- we started doing this right after we moved in together so P had just turned 4.

Instead of saying: It’s cold outside.

We said: It’s cold outside to me. Is it cold outside to you?

Or a variation:

Chocolate ice cream is my favorite. What’s your favorite? 

(If we agree, great- we’re the same (this time). If we disagree then that’s another learning moment.) Oh, your favorite is strawberry? Is that okay that we have different favorites? Yeah, that’s okay. Can we still be friends even though we like different things? Yeah we can.

(I think it’s normal and natural to be attracted to people with whom you have things in common. I’m not trying to deny that or change that. So I point out things we have in common (which is natural and easy to do) and I also make a conscious effort to point out differences like when his dad and I don’t like the same movie or when I like different foods than my friends.

The last one is what’s your favorite TODAY? I’m not sure where this came from either. Whatever we’re talking about the idea is that a favorite is just today, of course he can have the sand favorite the next day... or not. He can change his mind and that’s allowed and okay.

The other thing is if he asks me a question I try not to just answer him and instead ask “Hmm, what do you think?” If his answer is “I don’t know” I might probe a bit more to see

So focusing on the behavior. 

First the words

He came back from his summer in Hawaii and we knew it would take a few days to adjust. He’s a pretty mellow kid, of course he has meltdowns occassionally but usually we can talk through things. But he came back angry. Screaming. It was a drastic departure from the child who’d left to go to Hawaii. Why did dad talk to the judge and make him come home early? He wanted to be with his mom. He didn’t want to be in San Francisco because there was Covid and everyone was dying in California.

He’s 6- he gets his infomration from his parents and in this case his mother. She told him that the judge made him come home early. She told him that his home California is dangerous.

She should NOT be discussing court issues with their son. Period. Just keep him out of it.

Second, I understand that you want your kid to live wiht you in Hawaii but the reality is he lives in California so HELP him live there. Stop scaring him and making him afraid of his home. It’s very concerning that the reason he wants to be in Hawaii is because there isnt’ covid there and he doesn’t have to wear a mask or socially distance. Um... actually yes you do.

So then that brings us to blatent lies.

So this year it’s been: What’s the diffference betwen an opinion and a fact. And then we give lots of examples. When we’re talking we point out examples. It’s really warm today. That’s an opinion- the fact is that it’s 65 degrees.

He’s a bright kid and he’s a reader. I encourage him to ask questions and even look things up on the internet. Just because I say it’s true doesn’t mean it is.

He threw up and had body aches we got him a covid test. He was negative. Ra texted her the result. Later that day P as doing FT with his mom in the other room and I hear her say  “Oh, well I didn’t think you had it. Throwing up is like the least common symptom”. So then he came into our bedroom an asked me “Hey is it true that vomiting is the least likely covid symptom?”. 

Dammit. During FaceTime?? I should have thought this through better. Not that I’m going to say anything different but she can hear my and I can just imagine her rolling her eyes in the background.

So, what do I say? Because I know vomiting is one of the main symptoms on the CDC website AND vomiting was the only symptom our neighbor’s 6 year old daughter had when she had COVID. But I didn’t say that... instead I said “You know, I’m not sure. Why don’t we look it up later on the internet and see what Dr. Fauci says about it.” In your face!

[aures-rose]

The following is written in Welsh, in a lovely, looping handwriting.

Dear Diary,

It's been a very long, very busy week. I'm sorry that I put off my entry because now I'm going to have to write a really, really long entry! It's crazy how much has happened since I wrote last, I guess I should find somewhere to start.

I guess I should start with Professor Macauley. He's one of this year's new professors. He teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts and I think he might be one of my favourite professors now. He had homework to write about our greatest fear and so I did. He told me that if a violinist is who I am… and people seem to like my violin playing, then people must like me. I also think… well… I'm done worrying about being veela and the effect I have on people. I can't change that and it's a part of who I am. I need to accept that and… embrace it. Professor Macauley said that I shouldn't be afraid of people liking me for my veela charm because people all like each other for… shallow reasons. Like being funny or being pretty. And that no one really knows who other people are, and that only I know who I really am when I'm in the tower. He told me to think about who I am in the tower. And I think I'm… me, a violinist… who's a little sad and a little lonely… but in the tower I don't have to hide that. He told me I could write about that for extra credit, so I did and he said he wouldn't grade my thoughts but invited me to talk to him soon. Luckily I found him out near the viaduct being interviewed by Jayden for the Owl Post. We talked about music for a while, about how it must be genuine and when it's not it loses its magic. He said a lot of parents scold that out of children but Da and Mother never scolded me for my playing. We talked about how I feel when I play too. He wants me to try picking up my wand and just doing whatever my heart tells me to do when I'm that… into my playing. He said he doesn't know what's supposed to happen but he'd like me to try. He also told me Gryffindors don't ask for permission.

Speaking of violin, I got to play for Lex and Marigold again. It was nice. I hadn't gotten to really play like that since coming back to school. I put everything into my playing and I felt… amazing. Seen. I think that's why Iike it so much. I mean, I love playing because of how it feels but… I love it because people see me.

Anyways! Eve and I had Astronomy together and that was fun! Well, after we got in trouble for making fun of Professor Priaulx. It's not that we don't like the professor, I really like her but… well, Eve started it with n impression of her, talking about not touching the telescopes and how Pluto is a planet. Then I told her she was wrong, that a proper Priaulx impression had to mention that her subject is ASTRONOMY and not astrology and that if you got it wrong she'd hang you from the tower by your toes. Priaulx caught us doing our impressions and she didn't really like that but she did say we were right! Sort of!

The next day I went into the Dueling Room to practice my spells. It took me a long time to manage the levitation charm but I finally did. Then I thought I'd practice the locking charm. That one was easier but… then I locked myself in the room because I couldn't get out. I was panicking because potions was going to be starting soon. Eventually I got out and tried to cast incendio on a brazier. Peach told me that it may take time for my wand and I to… understand each other. I… I hope we do one day, I'm so tired of… being bad at magic. I feel like I'm letting Mother and Da and Professor Idylwild down.

After that we had Divination. Eve and I hung out in that class together. We learned about meditation and Professor Gallo was explaining different kinds of meditation. Did you know playing music is a kind of meditation?! He then let us spend the whole class meditating, we were supposed to meditate on a question and try to divine the answer. Eve and I both asked what we could do to make this year better but she got distracted and couldn't really focus. I think it was my fault, sometimes I think my playing can affect people like dancing does. I wonder if that's true. I felt that Eve needs to find a spark to inspire her to work towards making this year better.

Tom was also in divination and after class, Eve said she was tired so she left to have a bath and I was left with Tom which was kind of a bummer because I wanted to hang out with Eve more but also not because it's Tom and I like Tom, he's nice. He complimented my playing a lot, said it was sad but in a good way and I told him I'd play for him any time. I feel like I tell people this a lot but it's true, I really like playing and sharing my music with people. He walked me to the Great Hall and we talked about how people are really kind of mean to him and we talked about Ruby insulting my violin playing. I had to make him promise not to punch Ruby, I don't want anyone fighting for me because… well it makes me feel bad. We talked about my being bullied for being veela and how I feel like I don't really fit in and he says it's because I'm like a really pretty rainbow fish. I don't quite fit in but it's a good thing. It kind of made me think about Professor Macauley and our talks about my being Veela. We also talked about everything with the Orb. He apologised and said he had wanted to protect me and he messed up but… it's not his job to protect me. He's just a kid too even if he doesn't want to admit it because he's fifteen now so he can't just protect me. Besides, if either of us were a knight it'd be me, I'm the Gryffindor. It did kind of make me feel bad though. During the organ thing I'd tried to protect Eve and it's like that isn't it? I felt like I had to because I'm her friend and it was stupid because I'm just a kid and we both ended up being eaten. I told him I didn't want him to feel bad because he couldn't protect me but I think he didn't like that because we ended up changing the subject.

Anyways, we were almost to the Great Hall when we ran into Everett. He was being really nice and saying hi to me… until he saw Tom was with me and then he turned and walked right away. I talked to Tom about it and he said Everett's mad because Tom and Aloy are dating which just sounds really complicated and I kind of hate it. I tried telling Tom if he was just nice to Everett, Everett would probably be nice back but it didn't really work and I thought Everett was going to punch Tom! Which really, I think Tom's been punched enough without anyone else doing it. After that both of them stormed off so I went back to the common room. It kind of sucks being younger than everyone but I think it probably sucks more being older.

The password to the commons changed recently. Did you know that some of the other houses don’t have frequent password changes? Talula told me that when she heard I’d been locked out of the commons. She was really sad that day, though I don’t know why. I think it had something to do with Aloy and Tom, she didn’t say anything to me about it though so I don’t really know that. I told her being an adult veela sounds like a lot of work, with everyone fighting for attention and over each other. She told me she didn’t know a lot about it but that she found out her grandmother had been sent to Azkaban. Her grandmother is a veela, if you didn’t know. I don’t remember why she was sent to Azkaban or why Talula told me, but she said that I couldn’t be a kid forever, and I guess she’s right.

In DADA, Professor Macauley’s DADA, we had to fight each other. He had us all cast spells and try to knock the others to the floor. If you hit the floor, you were out. I put down a table and hid behind it so I wasn’t hit with any spells and I managed to take out three students and I never was taken to the ground! I even body bound a sixth year! Me! I’m not even any good at magic! I was really excited about it really and Professor Macauley said I did really well.

Aloy asked me to play violin with her sometime. She told me she plays piano and cello, I didn’t know that but it was really nice of her to ask me to play. I didn’t even know Aloy really noticed me after all the Orb stuff, let alone would want to hang out with me, I mean, she’s an older kid and I usually feel out of place with them. 

I got asked to play with Iain and Jayden too at the Gryffindor sleepover. I was there talking to my new friend Margo Fox. Doesn’t that name sound like it belongs to someone famous? She says her full name is Margo Christine Fox. Like Christine Daae from Phantom of the Opera. Thalia read that book to me over summer, though there was a lot of big words and it was kind of hard to understand. Margo is an artist and she likes drawing dragons. It’s her first year and I hope Professor Eastwood gets a chance to show her a dragon, one of those enchanted ones, I mean. Arthur was also at the sleepover, complaining about Professor Macauley. Apparently Professor Macauley told him he needs to take calming draughts for his freakouts- Arthur starts to cry and sometimes passes out when he hears loud noises, like the sound of a spell backfiring. Professor Vikander said he’d already told Arthur to take them but I guess Arthur hadn’t been. He was really upset about having had a cheering charm cast on him but it’s just a cheering charm, innit? They don’t /hurt/ you, they just make you happy. And taking calming draughts every day isn’t even bad. Is it so bad that he might not try to punch Tom or that first year again? Or that he’s not going to freak out every time there’s a loud noise?

I had breakfast with Margo, Ramon, and Arthur the next day. We talked about muggle cleaning, I guess they were talking about it before I came to the Great Hall. Margo didn’t understand how they cleaned without magic, but it’s just like punishment, innit? We also talked about blood purity and bullying too. How some people don’t like people who aren’t full wizards, which also means Veela like me. I had to explain to them what being part veela means, the way part veela enchant people and how Ruby and Octavia bullied me for it. It was kind of nice though because all three of them said if anyone bullied me, they’d protect me. We started to talk about mermaids for a while, Ramon hadn’t known they existed but then it was time for Herbology and so we all ran off.

Herbology was… well it was Herbology, I’m not really good with it. I paid attention though as best I could. After though, Eve and I made some bets with Nora. She’s taking bets on who will be Hogwarts champion. I bet on Essa, Emily, Verity, Gwyn, and Elliott. And Eve bet on Elliott and Gwyn. I thought the more people I bet on, the better chance I had of winning. Tom and Aloy came up then and were talking about Arthur but… It kind of made me and Eve uncomfortable. Aloy was talking about hexing him again and it didn’t seem very nice. It’s one thing to protect yourself but just… bullying Arthur, doesn’t that make Aloy a bully too? Anyways, they ended up walking off and Eve and I decided to go practice unlocking spells on all the doors in the castle.

Woo, that’s everything. I didn’t realise how busy this week’s been! Anyways, there’s rumours about dueling, and I kind of want to go after the last DADA. I’ll catch you up later! Next time, Diary!

[narcosmx]

the arellano felix boys competing over you would include

a/n: who knows where i pulled this idea out of but it is here because i have no sense of self control a ha 

so what i’m picturing is that you’re the lastest interest of the arellano felix gang; min and mon are arguing about who’s going to get to take you out. but being the competetive bbs they are, they decide they’re going to both woo you and let the best man win. no hard feelings, it’s all up to you so let’s see how each of them go about it 

ramon

okay so he is all about the fucking grand gestures; all the flashy stuff and then when you look over at him giving you this stupid as proud grin and shrugging

like im imagining you being at roxanne and you’re with friends or whatever and he’s bringing over bottles of the absolute best shit on the house, bottle in each arm and is telling you guys to come up to the private level and have some drinks with him

just giving you the absolute vip experience because that’s mon

can you just picture him sitting on a couch, long arms outsretched along the back of the couch, probably man spreading and motioning with his head for you to come join him, little smirk on his face, winking at you the minute saunter over to him  

hed be such a fucking flirt , arm wrapped around you on the couch and could you imagine the way he’d be whispering in your ear 

with his smug as breathy chuckle and lingering there just to watch the way you gets chiils when he does 

him getting handsy when he sees you’re into it and it’s you going back and forth with him just pushing the boundaries just a little bit more because god

showering you with gifts, he’s gonna be like if this is just how i get your attention mamacita, imagine what it’s going to be like when you’re mine 

his big thing would be with jewlery because he sees you being like oh my fucking god how expensive is that no 

and ramon scoffing and be like don’t even worry about it, please

especially with necklaces, the proud little smile he gets when he’s standing behind you, moving your hair out of the way and placing the necklace on you 

looks over your sholder to see how good it looks on you and sneaking a kiss on your shoulder

another thing im imagining is him being like hey do you want to be my date tonight?? and you’re like where are we going ?? and he’s telling you not to worry just some little thing but dress nicely 

now this could go one of two ways 1) surprise he’s actually throwing this huge ass party and him making his dramatic ass entrance with you on your arm and you’re hissing at him like “oh yeah some littlle thing” and ramon just shrugs innocently

2) him taking you to this fancy ass restaurant like one where celebrities frequent and it’s like a who’s who of mexico and he’s sitting around like he owns the place , people sending over bottles to pay respects and him looking at you lke this could all be yours bby   

benjamin 

now benjamin is all about the little shit, the intimate shit

for example, if ramon is taking you out to crazy and packed restaurant, benjamin is reserving the restuarant for the two of you 

coming into this popular restaurant and it being empty but them welcoming you in... you look at benjamin with a confused look and he gives a small shrug and is like “i... i wanted to be able to talk to you, listen to you in peace. just get lost for a little bit”

im just imagining how intent he would be on listening to you, how interested he’d be in you, the little toast with your wine glasses, holding your hand across the table, kissing your hand gently

sending you absurdly large bouquet of flowers to your house everyday , they’re huge and probably have a stuffed animal

could you imagine him delivering them you and his like the soft look on his face when you open up the door and he sees how excited you get

by the end of this you have a literal garden because he hasn’t stopped sending you flower

would take you on the coolest dates??

this butthole will probably take you horseback riding could you imagine wow what a rich bich 

taking walks in parks or going to some festivals and him like holding your hand as you walk through these places together why is this so fucking adorable for me 

bonfire vibes from benjamin (( that at some point ramon would probably crash todo pedo ))

with him it would just be a lot of him proving he has time for you, proving that he can make you a priority even with this crazy life he leads trying to hold down this business and his wild af siblings 

he doesnt like going out to dance, we’ve established such already so him hiring like a mariachi or some band to come play so you can dance out under the stars whether that be at some lowkey party he throws or just for a night alone 

im laughing ramon probably made it a rule that you could’nt be taken on any trips because that is benjamin’s specialtiy oof 

benjamin out here trying to give you this delicate gold chain with his name on it or his initial because oh my god

fucking speciality made wine for you okay ill stop 

who you going with fam?? @itati​   @cheribambirose​  imma have to start writing individual stuff for them because heart eyes 

[admcp]

IN: 0399

Can AI Keep You Healthy?

A Chinese entrepreneur wants to track your health data and suggest ways to improve. But are computers really smart enough to make sense of all that information?

This smart mirror isn’t very smart,” says Jun Wang, standing in front of a full-length mirror wearing designer jeans ripped at the knees. “It’s just a camera and a mirror,” he says, looking mildly distressed—or as distressed as possible for a man whose face is perpetually unperturbed. “What I want is a mirror that does a 3-D scan of me here,” he says, using his hands to trace the contour of his thighs, “and here.” Wang indicates his belly, which is lean. “We want an exact 3-D figure of you: the fat, the muscle—your entire body shape, plus facial recognition, and what’s going on with your skin.” He points to the top right area of the mirror. “And I want readouts about my health up there, next to where I’m brushing my teeth—my weight, blood pressure, and heart rate, and how does that correlate with my DNA?”

This as-yet-unrealized smart mirror is just one of several gadgets that Wang, a 41-year-old biologist and computer scientist turned entrepreneur, says he is building. The devices will help gather, analyze, and display a crush of health data he wants to collect about himself—and, he hopes, from millions of others. This is why Wang cofounded iCarbonX (ICX), a highly ambitious, if quixotic, personal-health company based here in Shenzhen, in southern China.

ICX wants to capture more data about your body than has ever before been possible. It starts with your DNA sequence and includes data from Fitbit-style wearables that measure your steps, heart rate, and sleep patterns. Add frequent blood tests to measure various proteins and enzymes that can, say, reflect the health of your heart or signal very early signs of cancer. Include monitoring of the ever-changing levels of metabolites produced by the body as it processes food; traditional blood tests on levels of cholesterol and glucose; heart data from an EKG; and information from your medical history. The goal: continuous monitoring of your health and suggestions of adjustments you might make in your diet and behavior before you slip from being healthy into the early stages of an illness.

This sounds a little like personalized medicine, which has been discussed for years. But for Wang, it’s not just about treating disease. It’s also about what might be termed personalized health. “Right now you don’t know about your temperature, or your pulse, or the microbes inside you that affect your emotions,” he says. “Or what to do if you have an allergy, or you want to lose weight because you’re fat.”

The devices will help gather, analyze, and display a crush of health data he wants to collect about himself—and, he hopes, from millions of others.

This vision of personal health monitoring is becoming achievable in part because of dramatic cost reductions for sequencing DNA and measuring the many thousands of biological compounds and processes that regulate the body. What all that means for any one of us, especially when all the readings are combined, is unclear. But ICX is part of a new wave of companies that figure they can find something meaningful in the data and enable medicine to stop merely reacting to an illness you have; these companies want to keep you healthy at a fraction of the cost. Unlocking this puzzle, with its millions of moving pieces, is where AI and other advanced computing techniques will have to come in. “AI is how we can take all of this information and tell you things that you don’t know about your health,” says Wang.

Assuming it works, putting all of this together will not be cheap. As CEO of ICX, Wang has raised $600 million in funding for the effort, a remarkable amount for a project offering high-tech tests for healthy people. “But he’ll need it, and probably more, with everything they want to test,” says Eric Schadt, a computational biologist and mathematician who recently stepped down as director of Mount Sinai’s Icahn Institute for Genomics and Multiscale Biology in New York. Schadt has launched his own health data company, called Sema4, which is scanning genomes and molecular biomarkers.

ICX is using its pile of cash in part to invest in or acquire companies that might contribute to Wang’s holistic vision. This includes a $161 million stake in Colorado-based SomaLogic, which is working on a chip that can measure 5,000 proteins in the blood; more than $100 million in PatientsLikeMe, a company in Cambridge, Massachusetts, that provides an online platform for more than 500,000 patients to share experiences, metrics, and feelings about their health and diseases; and $40 million in AOBiome, also of Cambridge, which sells spray-on microbes that it says make skin healthier. ICX also recently invested in HealthTell of San Ramon, California, which identifies antibodies from a blood sample as clues to the presence and progress of diseases including cancer and autoimmune disorders. Additionally, ICX is also collaborating with several companies in China.

Tying this eclectic alliance together is an aggressive effort to build an artificial-intelligence system that will attempt to analyze all this data. That’s being led by Israel-based iCarbonX-Israel, which ICX acquired last year. Founded in 2005 as Imagu Vision Technologies, the company develops software to interpret CT and other medical images. Now Imagu’s engineers are working with counterparts at ICX to create what they call a “virtual health brain” that will interpret the thousands of data points ICX wants to collect on each customer. “We want to create a tool that not only analyzes data but offers ways to help people improve their health, like how to alter their diet,” says Imagu CEO and cofounder Mor Amitai.

“If this all sounds ridiculously complicated, it is,” says Wang, smiling in a way that blends reassurance—which undoubtedly is appreciated by investors—and bemusement, as if he knows that what he is proposing sounds a bit daft. The question, then: can he use his money and technical savvy to revolutionize medicine?

A tall man with short black hair, Wang strolls coolly through his company’s headquarters, a Silicon Valley knockoff with open workstations, glass-walled conference rooms, a gym, and a café always stocked with food, healthy drinks, tea, and coffee. It’s on the third floor of an industrial-park building in a complex of similarly unexceptional structures tucked between two sprawling, wooded theme parks called Happy Valley and the China Folk Culture Village. In the back of ICX’s HQ is Wang’s office, a comfortable niche with deep leather chairs and a private conference room—a business setting that is a long way from where Wang started, as an academic researcher sequencing DNA at Beijing University in the late 1990s.

Wang authored over 100 studies as a professor at the University of Copenhagen and as a bioinformatics whiz at the Beijing Genomics Institute (BGI), which he helped found in 1999. BGI was the organization that led China’s relatively small contribution to the Human Genome Project, a worldwide effort in which several countries worked on different segments of the human DNA sequence published in 2003. BGI later churned out the first complete DNA sequences of an Asian person, a strain of rice, the SARS virus, and the giant panda. During his stint as BGI’s CEO, Wang helped build the company into one of the largest sequencing operations in the world. In 2016, it had revenue of $250 million, and this summer it issued an IPO. Wang remains a major shareholder and a member of the board.

“You also need millions of people—maybe as many as 10 million people—to get meaningful signals for common diseases.”

But he left BGI in 2015 because he was frustrated by the limits of genomics. Specifically, sequencing DNA doesn’t provide much insight into the health of most individuals. Scientists have found countless DNA markers that seem as if they should help determine whether a person is healthy or sick. But those markers have turned out, nearly 15 years after the completion of the Human Genome Project, to make less of a difference than originally thought. With the exception of certain rare genetic mutations, DNA is just one determinant of a person’s medical fate. “It turns out you also need to know about proteins, and metabolites, and all the rest,” says Wang.

Soon after his departure from BGI, Wang formed ICX, knowing he would do something with AI and health. But he wasn’t sure exactly what data besides DNA the company could, or should, collect. To figure it out, he met with a range of experts and companies, including a pivotal meeting in July 2016 at the Original Max’s restaurant in Burlingame, California, near the San Francisco airport. In town pitching ICX to investors and prospective partners, Wang had arranged to see Jamie Heywood, the cofounder and chairman of PatientsLikeMe, who was visiting from Boston. As they sat in an orange-and-yellow plastic booth in the truck-stop-style café, it didn’t take Heywood and Wang long to realize that they shared a fundamental exasperation with the limitations of today’s medical practices. Giving people more data seemed like a promising route. PatientsLikeMe, which runs a service where thousands of members discuss their various chronic diseases in online forums and provide metrics about their health and the progression of their disease, had already shown the value of careful health tracking by individuals. Drinking coffee, Wang and Heywood dissed classic medical testing, which tends to be static, with one test taken at a time—an EKG in a clinical setting every year or two, for example, or when symptoms seem to warrant it. “We got excited about the possibility that we could discover the early stages of when a person shifts from good health to, say, becoming a diabetic,” says Heywood, an MIT-trained engineer. “We both agreed that the technology is there, or is close to being there.”

No one really knows how the most advanced algorithms do what they do. That could be a problem.

Heywood, who is a fast-talking bundle of energy where Wang conveys a steady calm, suggested that such a profile should also include the sort of behavioral and personal data collected by his company. Information that people share in the forums of PatientsLikeMe—on such issues as the health impact of stress at work—provides valuable clues to other members on how they can better manage their chronic conditions. Why not help healthy people use similar tools and data? “It took about five minutes for Jun and I to realize that we could do this,” he recalls.

Heywood brought something else to the table: his company had built a computer platform designed to analyze data reported by its half-million users. But it’s not yet clear that combining all the data that ICX and its collaborators want to capture will be meaningful. Nor is it likely that AI will find significant correlations in the data unless ICX lures millions of people to its service—and even that many might not be enough. “ICX will struggle,” predicts Eric Schadt of Sema4. “You also need millions of people—maybe as many as 10 million people—to get meaningful signals for common diseases.”

Wang readily acknowledges the challenges. “To do everything we want will take many years,” he says. When asked about the need to test large numbers of people to discern signals in the noise of all this data, he says that ICX is looking to enroll at least one million people in the next five years. “China has this big population, so I’m not worried about this,” he says. He adds that as disposable income increases in China, people want to spend money on their health.

Wang admits, however, that he doesn’t yet have a clear business plan. “I tend to think about the right thing to do with the science and the product first,” he says. “Then I figure out the business model. Investors are okay with this. They don’t want short term.”

Smoke and mirrors?

Underlying ICX’s challenge are also some fundamental questions about how to integrate artificial intelligence into health care. There’s little doubt that advanced computing will eventually provide a huge boost toward making sense of all manner of health and biomedical data. And Wang is not the only one with business ambitions for the technology. According to CB Insights, which tracks venture capital investments, investors are funding 106 startups in AI and health—up from a handful a few years ago. They’re pursuing everything from mental health and drug discovery to lifestyle management, virtual assistants, hospital management, and medical imaging and diagnostics. While this sounds impressive, AI so far has failed to make a substantial impact on most of medicine and health care. “In certain niches, AI is here and has been for years,” says Marty Kohn, a physician and the former chief medical scientist at IBM, who helped develop IBM Watson Health. “But it’s not happening at scale. And it hasn’t yet helped large numbers of patients.”

Future generations will scoff at your passcode.

One reason is that it’s incredibly difficult to interpret the crush of data. “I think AI has tremendous potential,” says Leroy Hood, the president and cofounder of the Institute for Systems Biology in Seattle. “But the claims for AI and health care are very overblown.” Most companies, he suggests, “don’t do real science.”

A longtime pioneer in finding tools for understanding the body’s complex functions, Hood is a cofounder of Seattle-based Arivale, another health data company. Two years ago, Arivale started offering its own version of lifestyle, wellness, and molecular testing, coupled with personal coaching. In July 2017, Hood and Arivale published a small study in Nature Biotechnology that he says provides a proof-of-concept analysis of what the researchers call “personal, dense, dynamic data clouds” measured in healthy people over time. They used advanced algorithms to make correlations for 108 subjects who took dozens of health tests and measurements. Some of the participants learned that they had vitamin deficiencies; others found they had early signs of inflammatory bowel disease or diabetes that needed tending through diet or supplements. These results, however, are preliminary, and far more of them will be needed to separate real findings from the firehose of data.

There’s little doubt that advanced computing will eventually provide a huge boost toward making sense of all manner of health and biomedical data.

As for Wang, he is experimenting on himself with still more ways to acquire such information. As he continues his tour of ICX’s headquarters in Shenzhen, he points to a toilet just off his office where he collects plastic bags of poop for his daily microbiome analysis. Wang describes plans to build a “smart toilet” that will capture and analyze one’s waste and feed it into an AI-generated personal profile. “We have the technology to do this,” he says. “We have the algorithms. It will be cheap, something like $200.” Wang next lifts up his sky-blue polo shirt to show off a wireless continuous heart-rate monitor.

One wonders, however, if millions of healthy people will be as obsessed as Jun Wang is with collecting so much data on themselves. The question seems to take him by surprise, momentarily roiling his composure. He knits his brow, looking as if he couldn’t imagine that other people might not want smart mirrors and toilets, frequent blood draws to measure thousands of metabolites, and heart monitors taped to their chests. “I’m not asking everyone to do this,” he finally says. “People choose not to know a lot of things. But there are plenty of people who want to know, or can be educated to want to know.” He pauses for another nanosecond and then flashes that smile, looking as if he had just figured out the answer to this literally multibillion-dollar question about his effort and his company. “People used to not want to know their genes; now more and more people want to know,” he says. “I’m sure that this trend will continue.”

[junker-town]

Jordan Phillips is a BIG reason why the Bills are in the NFL playoffs

Defensive tackle Jordan Phillips is having a breakout season for the Bills.

Jordan Phillips has taken a quantum leap forward this season, but the big defensive tackle is still rather anonymous outside of Buffalo. Let’s change that!

With two weeks left in the season, Shaquil Barrett’s leads the NFL in sacks with 16.5. His breakout season for the Buccaneers is just on another level (I tried to tell y’all). However, I do believe there is a player whose jump in sack production at least feels similar to Barrett’s situation: Bills defensive tackle Jordan Phillips.

Phillips is now in his fifth year in the league, and has managed to amass 9.5 sacks through 14 games this season. His total number of sacks in his previous four seasons combined? A grand total of 5.5.

In fact, the former 52nd pick in the 2015 draft had such an underwhelming start to his career in Miami that last October the Dolphins decided to waive him. Well, as I always say, one team’s trash always has the potential to be another team’s treasure. The Bills claimed him the very next day to give him a fresh start in Buffalo.

Phillips would go on to play in all 12 games left on the schedule. Now, last year he was aiight, but nothing like what he has shown this season.

Even though he has the most sacks of anybody listed at over 300 pounds this season, it just doesn’t seem like most people outside of the Bills’ fanbase are aware of him. I came to that conclusion before Phillips was snubbed by the Pro Bowl, but after the Bills held on to beat the Steelers on Sunday night.

And for that reason I went back and took a look at how Phillips has played all season so I could give you quick synopsis of his game and help everyone get familiar.

How a guy Phillips’ size transformed into a big-time pass rusher

It’s just not normal for a 6’6, 341-pounder to be doing what Phillips is doing. But there is a reason why Phillips has been so successful at getting to the quarterback this year even though he’s a giant of a man. He clearly employs the KISS approach to pass rushing.

Keep

It

Simple

Stupid.

Phillips might be built like a grizzly bear, but he’s also self-aware about his strengths and his limitations at that size. He’s not going to be trying a lot of elaborate spin moves or anything. On most passing plays, what you will find Phillips doing is running right down the middle of one of the guards and collapsing the pocket into the opposing quarterback’s lap.

For the most part, Phillips is content to see if your guards can hold up for four quarters of him bludgeoning them over and over and over again.

As we saw on Sunday, not many of them can.

To be clear, there isn’t anything wrong with a guy playing to his strengths. Diversity of pass-rush moves is cool if you have the ability to execute them all well. However, if you have Nolan Ryan on the hill, you aren’t going to tell him to throw a lot of changeups and curveballs are you?

Hell nawl!

You want him rearing back and throwing that nasty-ass 100+ mph fastball and daring batters to hit it.

Similarly, if you are a Bills fan, you want Phillips bull-rushing most of the game because sooner or later, the dam is going to break and he is going to get back to the quarterback off that move.

Of course, nobody’s power rush works every single time. But what I like about Phillips is that he never really allows himself to get stuck at the line of scrimmage. Instead, when he doesn’t get any push, Phillips does a great job of mirroring the quarterback, trying to get in position to knock down or chase the quarterback.

For a man his size, Phillips’ short-area quickness is truly uncanny at times. On film it’s apparent that when some quarterbacks see him coming, they underestimate just how quickly he can get to them. He has had several pressures this year on plays where it looked like the quarterback was genuinely shocked at how quickly Phillips was on them before they could make it outside of the pocket.

I’m also impressed with how Phillips has really sharpened up his ability to run pass-rush games this year. When Phillips is the penetrator, he hits the gap quickly and violently, frequently creating a clear path for the looper to come around scot-free. When he is the looper, he really sells his fake pass rush well.

His improved ability to turn a tight corner as the looper has also been a huge plus this year, and that showed up in a major way twice in the Bills’ big win over the Steelers.

How Phillips’ two best plays helped send the Bills to the playoffs

The first time came with a little less than nine minutes left in the first quarter.

Phillips was lined up as the three-technique on the left. On the snap, Phillips flashed all the way inside of Steelers right guard David DeCastro to give the impression he was going to try to rip into the A gap. Phillips took three big steps inside, which all but forced DeCastro to follow him. At the last second, DeCastro tried to step back outside to block Phillips’ teammate Lorenzo Alexander. That created a very short corner for Phillips to get around, and he cut that corner just about as close as anyone possibly could. That put him on a collision course with the quarterback.

It helped that Steelers rookie Devlin Hodges stepped up in the pocket. That put Hodges right in Phillips’ sights, and Hodges made a fateful mistake by trying to deliver the ball down the field with Phillips bearing down on him. Phillips contacted Hodges’ midsection just as he was following through on the throw, and the pass was picked off by Bills cornerback Tre’Davious White.

The second time Phillips made a big play off of a pass-rush game on Sunday may have been even more impressive. It was certainly at least as important.

With 39 seconds left, the Bills were clinging to 17-10 lead, but the Steelers had already made it down to Buffalo’s 26-yard line. Phillips was once again lined up as the three-technique on the left, but this time he ran a pass-rush game with rookie first-rounder Ed Oliver.

Phillips came inside right at Steelers center Maurkice Pouncey as if Phillips was going to bull-rush him. That forced Pouncey, who was already sliding to his right, to come over a little harder to try to account for Phillips’ power. That opened up the A gap to Oliver’s side and he then shot inside of Steelers left guard Ramon Foster. Pouncey, being the top-notch veteran center that he is, was able to step back to his left and pick Oliver up at the very last minute.

However, when Foster tried to follow Oliver inside, he had once again created a short corner for Phillips to loop around. This time, Phillips blew past Foster and was able to reach out and take Hodges down for an 8-yard loss.

Hodges would go on to throw an interception on the very next play, and the Bills’ win clinched them a spot in the playoffs.

Phillips can soon get the recognition he deserves, though

There is another way Phillips’ breakout season is similar to Barrett’s: They are both balling out like this after they bet on themselves and signed one-year deals this offseason. You know what that means, right?

Phillips is about to get paid, jack!

I don’t know how many men his size have ever actually gotten to 9.5 sacks in a season in NFL history, but I’d be willing to be that list is awfully short. Finding a defensive tackle who can consistently push the pocket and get quarterbacks on the ground is something that damn near every team is looking for, so Phillips should have no shortage of suitors once the offseason rolls around.

The guy went from unwanted in Miami just a year ago to getting ready to break the bank, and it’s a testament to the work he did sharpening up his skills this year. He didn’t really do anything fancy, either. Phillips just embraced his strengths and started being who he was meant to be on the field all the time. A lot of other players could learn a lesson from that.

I don’t know where he will end up next year, but I do know that Jordan Phillips is one of the major reasons why the Bills are in the playoffs this season. If he keeps this up, Buffalo just might make some noise when they get there, too.

And on that big of a stage, I think people will really start to learn his name.