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pepperful-qt · 4 years ago

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Hi there! Can I request hcs of kuroo, kita and semi with a big brain s/o? It doesn't just apply to s/o academically, but more so about life in general (like having ~streetsmarts~) thank you!

you said street smarts my mind went to jj bittenbinder. ngl i kinda used the wisdom proficiencies from d&d as reference for this hahaha nerd i hope it’s what you want! also i just want to thank you for requesting my not-so-secret fav semi semi

Kuroo, Kita, & Semi with a big brain s/o

* * * * *

Kuroo Tetsuro

oh this man appreciates it. he’s so entertained

you know that drinking game that Tyrion does with Shae where he guesses something about your past and if he’s right you have to drink, if not he does? that’s what you do minus the drinking part obv,, unless

as a person with high charisma himself, you make it a game to see who can bluff out and/or fool the other (you almost always win)

any time there’s a game night and you’re playing a social deception game you always win. no one can get a lie past you

if it’s a teamwork one, you and Kuroo crush everyone else

you find ways to skimp on your hw but still come out fine. he has no idea how, and it both annoys and impresses him

“i thought you stayed up watching buzzfeed unsolved instead of studying last night??”

“yeah so what?”

“but you got a 96%”

he knows that intelligence isn’t just defined by what you’re able to memorize out of a book, and you’re a perfect example of that. he respects you a lot

you’re the type of person that reads random articles and therefore has the most random bits of trivia that you throw in conversation

he can have an intellectual conversation with you, since you always come up with unique perspectives. he loves asking your opinion on things, bc who tf knows what’ll come out of your mouth

you don’t know what a derivative is to save your life but you know the location of every 7/11 in a ten mile radius, and if they carry a specific type of onigiri or cup noodle flavor

but fr you give the best advice and are always there to lend an ear

you watch murder mystery movies together and try to figure out the culprit, sometimes actually arguing over it

other times you’ll watch a drama and make bets on who’s gonna do what or end up with who

rip Kenma in the corner just trying to live his life

it’s hilarious seeing you interact with someone who is not “big brain” or street smart

let’s just use Lev as an example for no particular reason, just bc

you quickly learned that Lev would believe almost anything you said, he was that fascinated by your apparent wisdom

so you and Kuroo will sometimes join forces and see what you can get him to believe. you once convinced him that if you kill an insect you’d become that insect in your next life and die the same way, and for a solid month he would start crying if he ever stepped on an ant

chaos couple™

you have this whole atmosphere about you that is just “do not fuck with me” bamf if i do say so myself

which tbh is one of the things he finds most attractive about you. you knew exactly what he was up to the first time he started flirting with you, but you weren’t intimidated one bit. you became a challenge~

10/10 best looking couple of the three

* * *

Kita Shinsuke

the two voices of reason, bless you both. you’re very similar, but also very different

he’s the definition of high intelligence & high wisdom with low charisma cleric kita omg, while you have both high wisdom and high charisma with an intelligence stat you barely use (high or low lol)

he’s the kind of guy who always thinks things through with logic, and he’s always sure of his decisions

you on the other hand, have an intuition based logic

freaks him out when you rely on your gut instinct but somehow it always pays off

“why?”

“just because”

“but why??”

you’re adaptable in almost every situation, always know what to say, and have an uncanny ability to read people

which actually comes in handy in your relationship

he’s not the best at expressing himself but you always seem to know his emotional state and thought process, something no one else except his granny has really cracked yet and you do it so easily. sometimes he wonders if you’re a mind reader

you knew he liked you before he did & you asked him out first ~

“Shin-kun, you look happy today!”

“Ah, I was able to clean all the volleyballs after practice and still had time to fold and organize the scrimmige vests by color.”

meanwhile Atsumu: “hE litERALLY?? looks the sAME??!”

speaking of the twins, you’re great at handling them

Atsumu tried to scare you away the first time you showed up at practice before you and Kita announced your relationship, but you were calm and polite

which tbh put him off more than if you’d clammed up or gotten angry. he almost felt bad for being rude. almost.

imagine how bad he felt when Kita found out

the both of you are both feared and respected by the team

you’ll help Kita out with his self-assigned chores sometimes, figuring out new ways to be efficient and not lose quality

he also loves how he can trust you to take care of yourself, whether it’s walking home alone or losing you in a crowd or just looking after your health. he still worries and dotes on you but it’s out of love, not because he’s concerned you’ll hurt yourself unintentionally

he loves a person with common sense @ inarizaki

you’re both really good at getting gifts for each other, since you’re both very perceptive

one time you guessed his favorite flavor of ice cream and it made the butterflies a’flutter

there’s this silent competition between you two of who can give the better gifts

wishes you would study more though ngl. he knows you’re smart you just don’t always dedicate that intelligence to your schoolwork

he finds it charming how you’re always looking at things from different angles rather than the straightforward path. he thinks it’s a very good quality

that “yeah but what if...” kind of mentality

we already know he appreciates that attitude if he doesn’t really take it on himself

you’re both able to appreciate the nuances of life and enjoy the moment together

your relationship is one of the most balanced and strong out there tbh,,

* * *

Semi Eita

you’ve got this charm that makes people respect you. a certain type of confidence, if you will, that made him first notice you

lots of students were intimidated by the members of the volleyball team, for their height and reputation etc, but you never showed any reservation, not even with Ushijima

as well as your conviction, you have take no shit attitude that comes in great handy with certain members of the team it’s also hot af

you can banter with Tendou and you provoke Goshiki all day long but never Shirabu bc you know what’s up

you do however irritate him with mind games, bc you know he’s a little shit who stole your bf’s spot and needs to be taken down a peg sometimes

you: *describing the quantum wave trolley problem”

Shirabu: *screams*

all the while Semi is trying and failing to hide the smug little smirk on his face

with Semi though, you’re able to just talk

he enjoys conversation with you bc he’s never bored. you make him think and you make him laugh, both good things

sometimes you’ll point something out that just makes him go “oh” bc it seems so obvious when you point it out

other times it’s something so outlandish that he can’t help but crack a smile or let out a laugh

sometimes it’s the connect the dots meme “you didn’t connect shit” lmao

again, solid advice giver with no holds barred. anyone who needs to be straight up told what they need to hear comes to you, bc you're usually right

and Semi himself can get lost in his own head so it's nice to have you to ground him

you’re decent in your classes sure, but where you really impress is your strategy in game. any game

once you were invited to play laser tag with the team and you whipped out a battle plan that annihilated the other team

alternatively, you show no mercy in monopoly or uno, damn your relationships

it’s actually very annoying how quickly you pick up the rules and nuances to games and use them to your advantage

if you’re both very competitive, it’s usually better for everyone if you’re both on the same team

but he likes a challenge heh

okay, we know he’s bad at dressing himself when it comes to casual outfits. no common sense. you notice this too

“Eita, sweetie, if you go out like that you will get mugged,, even in Miyagi.”

you’ll walk down the street hand in hand and you make random guesses or stories about the people you see

“that guy is totally a scammer” or “bet that lady looking at the papaya is trying to start a diet for the third time, look at her face” and he’ll chuckle

he knows there’s always something going on inside your mind and he wants to know

when you’re lost in thought he’ll tap your forehead

“hey what’s going on in there?”

he enjoys listening to your musings and thoughts and opinions. you either have a crazy gut instinct or have some unique thought you’ve internally debated over for months

gets inspiration from you actually, even if he doesn’t realize it

likewise, you realize he has a lot on his mind he doesn’t say, but you have a way of making him say it, even if he is hesitant and abrasive at first

you’ll call him at 3am with a random thought and he’ll grumble a bit but actually will listen to you with the smallest smile on his face

* * * * *

i hope??? this was good??? also lmk if this is too long without a read more i’m not sure :P

#kuroo tetsuro #kita shinsuke #semi eita #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kita shinsuke x reader #semi eita x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #kuroo x reader #kita x reader #semi x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu writing #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu headcanons #the way i got so excited seeing my boy semi on here #don't look up the quantum wave trolley problem unless you want your brain fried

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angel-bazethiel · 4 years ago

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What, How, Why is Flame Alchemy?

--or how Roy Mustang can potentially bottle up a star. --or I’m sleep-deprived and writing this fic that relies on a deeper understanding of how Flame Alchemy works and I’m posting what I thought of bc why the hell not? and if I read another post saying it’s plain ole combustion and how easy it is, I will probably lose my mind --or goddammit, where is Flame Alchemy?????

Content:

I. Introduction II. Mass-Energy Equivalence and Nuclear Energy III. Flame Alchemy? More like Nuclear Alchemy (and Other Myth Debunking) IV. Why would someone study such a research topic? V. Summary

Note: Long post and a lot of Science ahead.

I. Introduction

First we establish that whatever we know of Flame Alchemy is utterly bogus. Solely because of the fact that if Roy and Riza really wanted for the knowledge of it to die, no one will ever know of it. No one. So that explanation by Havoc about aligning oxygen molecules and then snapping to ignite them is not true. I mean, “reactive cloth?” What is that even made of? For a show that was extensively researched, that seems a bit lazy.

Also, this explanation makes Flame Alchemy sound so easy. So why isn’t everyone doing it? For a military-run country, one would think that something easy and can be weaponized would be mass-produced, right?

Another fact, fire feeds on oxygen, yes. But fire is a combustion reaction of oxygen and a C-H compound. Something I hope that the air in a 1900s FMA-Earth isn’t abundant of.

Although, I haven’t thought about what if the fuel Roy uses is H2 compounds instead of Hydrocarbons. That would be funny. Roy deconstructs H2O molecules only to create them again. But if you still want to see whether or not I’m crazy, by all means, do read on. I will still use Flame Alchemy = Nuclear Fusion for my fic. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now, it got me thinking how does Flame Alchemy actually work? And my highly convoluted train of thought started while I was writing this fic where I based Riza’s mother on Marie Curie. (Which I may expand on but now is not the time.)

I thought then, so how about Berthold? Is he Pierre? Naw, man. Who else has had his research mishandled during a war? Who else was a brilliant thinker but is also such a shitty dude to the women in his life? Yeah you guessed it. And what is one of his greatest works?

II. Mass-Energy Equivalence and Nuclear Energy

Albert Einstein’s Mass-Energy Equivalence is such a simple and very elegant equation saying that mass is interchangeable with energy. This postulate led to this branch of physics (or chemistry, whatever) called Nuclear Physics/Chemistry. Bear with me.

Did you know that when you add up the masses of an atom’s nucleons (the collective protons and neutrons) the actual mass is not equal to the calculated? Where did that mass go? As it turns out, that mass defect takes in the form of energy that holds the nucleons together. And when we substitute that missing mass on Eq. 1, we have a specific number for that binding energy.

So what do we mean by nuclear energy?

Nuclear energy is the binding energy released when a nucleon is taken out of its nucleus. And that can happen by either of two reactions: nuclear fission or nuclear fusion.

Now I didn’t think much about nuclear fission because that’s shit’s nasty. And I’m sure that Roy doesn’t have Uranium just lying about. So let’s talk about nuclear fusion. Specifically, the fusion of Hydrogen atoms:

When you fuse two Hydrogen-1 atoms it has three products: deuterium, a positron, and energy. Fuse that deuterium with another Hydrogen-1, we get Helium-3 and energy in the form of gamma radiation. Fuse two Helium-3 atoms, we get helium-4 and hydrogen and more energy. Then start the process again if you want more more energy.

So what has that got to do with Flame Alchemy?

III. Flame Alchemy? More like Nuclear Alchemy (and Other Myth Debunking)

I firmly believe that the “Flame Alchemy” we see in FMA is just the H-H fusion reaction (Eq. 2).

And like an idiot, I only did my research after I thought of all that shit and found this interpretation of Riza’s tattoo.

I don’t know how how much of the tattoo is canon, I tried looking for it in the manga and the anime is too small to see. But I see it everywhere so-- it must be canon?

But in that post, in the upper left part of Riza’s tattoo, we see the fusion reaction of deuterium. And of deuterium and tritium. To which I say, why? Those Hydrogen isotopes are rare. I mean, fine, a D-T fusion reaction gives 40 times the net energy from an H-H fusion reaction.

And, sure, Roy can create deuterium and tritium himself, but it’s just not efficient. I don’t know how alchemy works but I do know that to do that (by which I mean an H-H fusion, then a D-D fusion, then a D-T fusion) would require more energy than just stopping at the H-H fusion.

So I stand by my statement that the “Flame Alchemy” we see in FMA is just the first part of the H-H reaction (Eq. 2).

a. So how does it work as seen in the manga?

Roy would line up the atoms to where he wants the reaction to happen. And here’s the kicker, he can use other light atoms just no heavier than Iron-56.

But I think he uses Hydrogen-1 because that shit is everywhere. Again, not the heavier isotopes. So we’re sticking to that.

How do we know that that’s what’s happening and not Roy doing whatever the hell Havoc said? Because we see this:

I don’t know about you, but I think the sparks we see when someone is doing a transmutation aren’t just there because it’s cool.

Atoms require energy in order to stay bonded as a molecule. So when alchemists transmute, they break the bonds and release that energy. In this case, the energy released is in the form of light. (I also have some thoughts about why we see red and blue sparks but, again, now is not the time.)

If Roy is just controlling the O2 molecules in the air, we shouldn’t see any sparks because there is no deconstructing happening.

Hydrogen-1 is usually present as part of the many water molecules in the air. So, I think, what we see is Roy deconstructing the H2O molecules and pulling the Hydrogen-1 atoms to where he wants them to be. The Oxygen-16 atoms bond with each other and form O2 molecules but we don’t care about them.

Unless Roy fuses Oxygen-16 instead of Hydrogen-1. In that case, we will see an even bigger release of energy. OH! Maybe that’s why he uses his left hand for smaller and more controlled explosions and the other for bigger ones. Because the gloves are different! One is for H-H fusion and the other is for O-O fusion.

Anyways. Hydrogen-1 atoms, by themselves are positively charged. So to fuse two together we have to overcome the repelling force by those same-charged atoms. To do that, they must meet either at high velocity or at high pressure. In the manga, they do the former.

Remember the sound whenever Roy does his thing? That isn’t actually caused by his snapping. After all he is wearing gloves. The sound when you snap is made by the pad of your middle finger striking your palm. If your hand is clothed, you won’t produce any sound when you snap.

No. That sound is the sonic boom of Hydrogen atoms going faster than the speed of sound. Also, I don’t think his gloves is made up of some special material. He just snaps to cover up the sound. Everything is just nuclear fusion.

b. How about those “flames” that we see, then?

That is how we perceive the energy released by the reaction. When the energy is transferred into the surroundings, it gives off heat. Not only that, but the other atoms in the air get excited (this is a technical term btw) and glow. For all intents and purposes, I guess they are flames? Just not caused by a combustion reaction.

c. But if that’s how the Flame Alchemy works, then what is up with the useless when wet schtick?

That is a misconception. Sort of.

Roy’s alchemy will still be useless in the rain because there is just too much macromolecules in the air. He can’t align the atoms properly and the Hydrogen atoms may collide with the water molecules. That would decrease speed which he maybe can take account of. But the time to calculate then recalculate for each atoms can be too long. So he just lets Riza take care of the imminent threat when it’s raining.

As for when it isn’t raining, but he’s wet… I think he can still do his Alchemy, he just doesn’t. Because in doing so, it would deconstruct all the lies Roy and Riza have built around “Flame Alchemy.” Like that fight with Lust with Havoc. He manipulated Hydrogen atoms and I think he could have just fused them. Instead he let Havoc throw his lighter. Good thing Hydrogen is flammable. And this:

This is just Roy Mustang being the drama queen that he is.

d. Why would Roy and Riza lie about the Alchemy?

They feed false information surrounding Nuclear Alchemy because there can never be another Nuclear Alchemist. They created a version of the Alchemy and make up some magic cloth that supposedly becomes useless when wet. All of that so that no one can learn the actual secret. Maybe even discourage other alchemists, seeing as “it has such a huge weakness.”

IV. But why would someone want to study such a research topic?

Now, I don’t claim to know how Berthold Hawkeye’s brain works. But have you ever looked up to the sun and think, “Woah. That big ball gives life on this piece of rock? How does that even work?” I hope you haven’t because you will hurt your eyes. Please use protective eye-gear if you’re going to look directly to the sun.

All joking aside. It all comes down to energy. The sources of energy we have today have their pros and cons. Our main source, which is burning fossil fuels, is very much harming the environment.

So we look up. The sun has millions of Hydrogen atoms that undergo nuclear fusion. And the energy from that keeps all of us 7 billion little shits alive. What if we bottle up a star?

If we could ever recreate even the smallest fraction of that reaction, we can power hundreds of cities. And with Helium to spare, which we can use to blow out the balloons for our party in celebration of the fact we can finally stop killing our planet.

If nuclear fusion is so clean, then why aren’t we using it?

Because we still don’t know how to contain and control it. Today, there are two designs of fusion reactors and there are research facilities that conduct experiments. But so far they are still developing the technology.

And get this, this is a very hard and expensive thing to do. Whatever Berthold did, it’s genius. Way ahead of his time. He’s still an ass of a father though.

To add salt to the wound, like with what happened to Flame Alchemy in FMA, governments have used this research to create weapons instead. Because why try to contain that energy and use it for technological advancement when we can let it loose on a city, right? Hah. We are such dumbfucks.

V. Summary

So in conclusion, human beings suck. Kidding! Well, not really. But yeah. So. Flame Alchemy is a nuclear fusion reaction of Hydrogen-1 atoms. And it’s very hard to control and contain that even in 2020 Primary-Earth, we haven’t figured that shit out.

It could have been used for the people if the Amestrian government actually cared about the people. And after the trauma Roy and Riza experienced in Ishval, we may only see Nuclear Alchemy in the distant future when humans are kinder – not just to the world they live in – but to other humans they are living with as well.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

#fma #flame alchemy #fma meta #riza hawkeye #roy mustang #berthold hawkeye #science behind fma #fullmetal alchemist #fma reference #fma ref #I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO REPOST THIS BECAUSE IT HAS PICTURES BUT HERE WE ARE.#ugghhh it still won't show up on the tumbr-wide tags so iguess it was all for nothing skskskkss

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ddaenggtan · 5 years ago

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amae | jhs

amae - japanese. the way you act when you want to depend on another person. relying on someone’s goodwill and love to help you. frequently thought of as wanting to be loved and taken care of.

when someone new moves in next door, you don’t expect to become friends. everyone on your block was friendly, yes, but none of you gave more than a courteous wave when you spotted each other in passing. that changes with jung hoseok; a literature professor with sunlight gleaming out of every pore, who enjoys complex lectures, random coffee trips, and…sleeping in your hammock? curiosity gets the better of you as you befriend him, but just what could have this man sleeping in your garden hammock every night?

pairing | jung hoseok x reader

genre/warnings | neighbor!hobi, writer!reader, pure cotton candy fluff, this may actually rot your teeth

word count | 6.7k | cross posted to ao3

a/n | ahaha this did end up shorter than give and take, bc it felt very right to end it where i did!!! there’s a lot of flower language used in this, bc i’m the ultimate slut for flower language, i think it’s the cutest shit i’ve ever seen. i also tried to make this MC different than g.a.t’s, pls tell me if i failed!!!! i want them all to be v distinguishable and independent and unique, and i love feedback!!!!

The moving van in front of the neighbor's house shocks you when you get up that morning. There had been a For Sale sign hanging in the yard for upwards of a year, and you've watched with mild amusement as the price continued to drop.

A favorite hobby of yours is coming up with creative reasons the realtor was more and more desperate to sell the house. Your favorite so far was that the adorable plump woman had to sell it soon, or her wife would run off with their girlfriend in the night, never to be seen again. Until Minri did get it sold, that is, upon which her wife and girlfriend would return and they would live in bliss.

Minri was, in actuality, very nice, and you doubt you should be entertaining such thoughts about her. She'd sold you your own house, after all; a lovely little three-bedroom, with a wonderful yard for your garden and your friends' dogs. Minri had even managed it at a great price, though she had emphasized the cleanliness of the place and the nearby churches, which was a little odd. You owed her for it, no matter how peculiar she had been during the viewing.

Well not really, she got a very nice commission from the sale, but it's the principle of the thing.

You scavenge one of the dry erase markers from the drawer and make a note on your fridge to bake her cookies sometime soon. Your mother would have a fit if she saw you writing straight on your fridge, but it was erasable and easy and you are if nothing if not a simple girl.

You pull yourself from your musings and make another note to call your mother before she could get huffy that you haven't in a while, and toss the marker back into the drawer when you're done. You direct your attention back at the moving van, unsurprised when a gaggle of young-looking boys emerges from the neighboring house to start unloading. Well, it wouldn't be extremely fair to call them a gaggle, as there are only three of them, but the point stands. They seem to be very close, judging by the way they tease and play, and it makes you smile a little. It was long past time the neighborhood got some life in it. The closest people to your age are the couple three doors down, in their 50s and always willing to talk about their seven children. It got tiring.

With a soft sigh, you turn from the window at your sink and dismiss the flash of bright pink you see in the mirroring window from next door. None of the three you saw had pink hair, but you could have missed one. You slide your hand along the spine of your cat, Tuna, and smile as she wraps her tail around your wrist for a moment before chirping and jumping down from the counter. She follows as you make your way to your office, tucked into the smallest of the bedrooms because it gets the best light, and settle at your desk to return to your work. Novels don't write themselves, after all.

You aren’t sure which of the boys lives next door, but it becomes quickly clear that it’s only one of them. Several are over at all hours of the day, but by the time the sun goes down, there’s usually only one or two there. A variety of vehicles come and go, but only one is there often enough to be the owner's. You might think it was a gay couple, had you not heard the complaints about an uncomfortable sofa on your way to get your morning paper.

They’re a very respectful bunch, whoever they are. They keep things quiet after sunset, and wait for a reasonable hour to start their backyard morning exercises. The music they play is pleasant, if a bit loud as it drifts over to where you kneel in the dirt. The fence that separates your yard from his reaches your shoulder. A white-picket thing that surrounds each of the yards in the neighborhood, you've never cared much for it, and it keeps you from seeing anything notable as you tend your garden. Still, you catch snippets of conversation, bits of stories that you never get a conclusion to, jokes with a punchline that’s carried off by the wind.

For the most part, though, you catch names; Jungkook, Jimin, Seokjin, different variants of each, but the one you hear most often is Hobi. His name rings out constantly, gliding through the air on notes of both mirth and vitriol. It’s usually accompanied by a laugh that makes your heart warm in your chest, or some form of inhuman screech, though you’re not sure why. You’ve never seen enough to understand what happens at the house next door, nor have you actually met any of the people that come and go like leaves in the fall.

Still, you can’t deny your curiosity, and you tell yourself that if the opportunity presents itself, you’ll introduce yourself. Despite that decision, the opportunity never does seem to present itself. Weeks pass, and you find that you feel nervous at the thought of going and introducing yourself now. The window has passed, it would be too strange now, he would think you odd. So you keep to your own house, tending your flowers and your trees, writing your novel, and doing your level best to keep Tuna off of the manuscripts and letters sitting around that you have yet to organize. You’ve resigned yourself to the sad truth that you simply won’t get to know your neighbor, won’t be able to have that adorable friendship you’ve dreamed of, won’t even know which one it is that lives there.

The universe has always worked rather strangely for you, though, and it’s not long after your acceptance of this fact that you come out of your back door, gardening gloves in hand and already reaching for the misting hose, to find someone swaying in your hammock.

You’re not really mad, you don’t use it very often anyway and someone should. Mostly you’re curious - you always have been, and always will be, most likely. Curious as to why someone is in your hammock when most everyone on the block has their own lawn furniture, who that someone is, how they got into your yard. The bolt on the gate is nearly impossible to unlatch from the outside; you know, from the many times that you’ve locked yourself out and had to James Bond your way into your own house through the back window.

You set your gloves on your patio table - a white bistro set your mother gave you when you moved out - and make your way over to the stranger. He’s good-looking; feather-soft brown hair and oddly clear skin, drowning in a sweatshirt that was at least two sizes too big, snoring lightly as the wind rocked him.

“Hey,” You say. He doesn’t respond, and you frown. “Hey, dude, what are you doing?” Still no response. You huff and turn, eyeing the yard for something to help. You don’t want to shake him awake, that could prove dangerous if he swings out at you. Your eyes light up as they land on the hose, forgotten among the grass. You tromp over and pick it up, dragging it back over to where the hammock sways among the tree branches.

“I’m gonna spray you awake,” You say. You receive no reaction, not that you expected any, and shrug. With one pulse, a fine mist of water settles on him. The guy does, indeed, flail, swinging wildly in a futile attempt to fight the water raining down him. He sputters and wipes at his face, and you watch as he does.

“What the hell, who the fuck sprays someone with water when they're sleeping?” He asks, shaking out his now damp hair.

“In my defense, I told you I was going to do it. You were the one that was asleep and didn’t hear.” The man freezes at the sound of your voice, looking around your yard as if seeing it for the first time. He gives you a hesitant and apologetic grin, and the sun seems to grow brighter on his face.

“I’m so sorry, I did not mean to fall asleep in your yard, I swear. There was...it’s a long story, but it really was an accident.” He flips himself gracefully off the hammock, with practiced ease that makes you only a little jealous. You should learn to do that.

“It’s fine, you can sleep in the hammock. I only want to know how you got in my yard.”

“I vaulted the fence,” He says as if it was obvious. You look from him to the fence, and back again. “What? It’s not difficult.” You turn back to the fence, measuring it with your eyes. If he was able to vault it without much difficulty, how fast would he have to be going? He would surely need a good deal of momentum, of course, to be able to launch himself five feet up in the air. The only thing in your brain is that ‘ten-foot vertical leap’ meme, and you curse your best friend for sending you every meme he ever thinks is remotely amusing.

The sound of your name brings you back to the present, and you focus on the man once more. “That’s you, I’m assuming?” The man says. You nod and point to him, belatedly realizing that you still have the hose in your hand when he flinches.

“Which one are you?” You ask him. He gives you a confused look. “There are several people next door most of the time, which one are you? Jungkook, Jimin, Seokjin, or Hobi?”

“Hobi,” He says after a second, beaming at you as he does. Something in your chest starts to unfurl itself, and the sensation is strangely comforting. “But my name is actually Hoseok, they just call me Hobi. You’re welcome to as well, most do.”

“Right.” You watch him for a few more seconds as he shakes out his sweatshirt, water dusting the grass below him. “I have gardening to do. Please let me know the next time you want to sleep in the hammock.” You turn back to the flowers closest the fence, satisfied now that you’ve answered so many of your questions about your neighbor.

“You aren’t going to ask why I’m here?” His voice calls from behind you. You shrug, kneeling beside your white camellias and checking their soil and sprouts. They were starting to bloom and you needed to be careful to make sure they weren’t soaking up too much water. “So I can seriously sleep here whenever. I just have to tell you first?”

“That’s what I said,” You reply. You pause, thinking for a second, and turn to look at him. “Does this make us friends?” The beaming smile he wears is nearly blinding, and you find it very endearing that he is so wildly happy at such a small thing.

“It absolutely makes us friends,” He tells you. You return the smile, albeit yours is much less sunshine-y than his. He starts to walk toward the fence and you laugh under your breath.

“Hoseok, you can use the gate,” You tell him. He stops and looks between the gate and the fence for a second before laughing embarrassedly at himself. “Please refrain from vaulting the fence in the future, as well. I'll leave the gate unlatched for you from now on.”

Hoseok grins and waves as he jogs out the gate and to his own home. You don’t relax until you hear the click of his door shut. A soft mrow from your left has you moving to pet Tuna once more, and you beam at her.

“It’s been a long time since I had a friend, hasn’t it?”

You don't expect to see or hear much from Hoseok after your brief interaction. You've had friends before, of course, but they all tend to fade away as they have their own lives and you have deadlines. Even your closest friends, three boys you met in college and somehow kept around, don't message you as often when you're close to finishing your work; they know better than to expect a response when you have an editor breathing down your neck. You're used to it, used to people becoming immersed in their own problems and not wanting to share them, so you never get upset about it anymore. There's no use in it, not when you do the same thing.

You're so used to this that it surprises you when Hoseok waves at you one morning as you're both getting mail. Another day he's playing football with a couple of friends and shouts a quick greeting over the fence as you dip down to do your gardening. One memorable evening, you turn from shooing a raccoon away from your trash with a feather duster to see Hoseok watching from his driveway. You give him a polite smile and he shoots you a proud, yet puzzled, grin, and the next day when he sees you putting out small feeders near the back part of your yard for the raccoon, he just chuckles.

Not to mention that you still come outside most mornings to find him snoozing in your hammock, rocking in the gentle breeze and comfortable as can be. He's never given you any explanation, though to be fair, you also don't pry.

It's a struggle; you want so much to know why he doesn't sleep in his house that sits not ten feet away from yours. You don't want to push him, though, too scared of breaking this tentative friendship you've built over something so small.

Things only start to change the afternoon he knocks on your back door while you're getting lunch ready for Tuna. She yells as you set the food down in front of her - a special blend designed to help her hearing and her eyesight since she's predisposed to troubles with both - but she quiets soon enough. You step around her to open the door, and you're shocked at the expression on Hoseok's face.

He wears a smile now, but for a second...for a second, he had looked afraid.

Your name drops from his lips in a tone that tells you he didn't expect you to answer. "I was only wondering, do you, um…" He trails off and you wait patiently for him to finish the thought. "Do you want to get lunch? Coffee? Anything? I need to get out of the house for a while."

"Sure," You reply. "Let me get my wallet." You move to the entryway to grab the thing - old and falling apart but still useful - and when you return, Hoseok is standing exactly where you left him. You pat Tuna's head and exit, closing the door behind you before you turn to Hoseok with an expectant smile. "I'll drive?" You suggest, since he still seems somewhat jumpy, and he nods.

He's not quiet on the drive, by any means, but it amazes you how he says so much but so little all at once. By the time you get to the cafe he directed you to, you've heard all about the antics of his friends - Jimin, Jungkook, and Seokjin, who helped him move that day - and you've heard plenty about their time at school and his days spent as a literature professor at the local university, and yet that's the most you know about him. Fun anecdotes and the off-hand comment about a student. Definitely not a word about why he sleeps in your hammock, or why he showed up at your door out of nowhere and asked you to lunch with a look in eyes that you thought you'd only see from a rabbit caught in a hunter's snare.

Still, as curious as you are, you can't bring yourself to ask about it, because it's so obvious that he wants to talk about anything else.

"So, what do you do? I never see you leave for work when everyone else does, so I assume you work from home?" You nod in response to Hoseok's question.

"I do. I'm an author, so I spend quite a bit of time in my office. That's why I started gardening, actually, so that I was forced to be outside in the sun at least a little bit every day. Otherwise, I tend to nest in my office for days without leaving."

"That makes a lot of sense," He says as he sips at his coffee. "What do you write?"

"Horror." The shock on his face, like perhaps he heard you wrong, is one of your favorite things about telling people you write. He gazes at you, taking in the messy hair, overalls, daisy-covered shirt, and pink sandals. "Psychological horror, to be exact.”

"Seriously?"

"Seriously." You grin, much too amused with the entire conversation. You slide your phone out of your pocket and tap at it until you're at your official website. You slide it across for him to see, and he clicks through the pages. There are several - one for each series, one for your upcoming releases, an appearance schedule, and then a quick bio that features a picture of you and Tuna. When he slides the phone back across the table, he looks impressed, and it warms you.

"I had no idea that was you," he says. You can't help the knowing grin. "You seem a little...bright for the genre."

"The mind is a fascinating place, Hoseok. The darker parts are so often either overlooked entirely or exaggerated for dramatic purposes. I want to tell real stories about real things that can happen. There's no need for embellishment when very real, very terrible things happen every single day. Besides, you don't need to dress in all black and carry around a leather-bound copy of Stephen King to prove you're interested in horror." He hums across the table, and his look has turned almost calculating.

"I may have to read some of your work then."

"You might." You give him a serene smile and finish your coffee.

He's somehow friendlier after that. He initiates small conversations almost every day, outside your mailbox or hanging over the fence while you garden. He appears all but every other day on your doorstep, looking terrified but grinning as he asks you to go to coffee. You start to wonder if there's something chasing him that only he can see, but brush the thought off the same second you have it. You've become too deep into your latest book.

He does read your work, which surprised you; you'd never expected him to do so. You offer to lend him your copies, as you have one of each on a shelf in your office, but he steadfastly refuses. You talk about it over coffee, and though you shouldn't be surprised at the quick thinking and keen observations he makes, you are. As often as you interact with your readers at signings and readings and conventions, you've never been quite so invested in someone's thoughts before.

You're eager to know what he thinks of the most recent book he's read. You're curious as to what metaphors and symbolism he's picked up on, what foreshadowing has punched him in the gut with realization. If he would criticize the heavy-handed allegory you've created, or if praise would fall from his lips to slide across and settle in your chest.

It's been a very long time since you cared for someone's opinion like this, you realize one morning as you stare out your kitchen window. Butterflies form in your stomach and you sigh, content in the knowledge that there would be no running from this. You watch as Hoseok runs around his own backyard, laughing at something Jimin says. He's sweaty from the game they're playing, but the sunlight seems to absorb into his skin in a way you've not seen before, and it looks like he's glowing. His smile lights up the sunset, and you can hear his laugh from here, and you want nothing more than to wrap yourself up in the sound.

No, you decide, there would be no running from these feelings, only acceptance of the blossoming fondness inside your heart. You turn from the window as Hoseok laughs again, spotting an empty section of your garden as you do, right beside the eye-catching red tulips. It makes you frown, as you can't remember there being an empty section there before.

You make a note on your fridge to pick up some pink camellias next time you're at the garden center to fill it. Your reminder to call your mother stares back at you and frown at it for a solid minute before you pick up the phone. As it rings, you resign yourself to yet another conversation with your mother about why you're not married with a real career yet.

"Have you had dinner yet?"

You look up from the weeds in your grasp to see Hoseok leaning across your fence and beaming at you.

"Have you had dinner yet?" Hoseok repeats at your obvious confusion. "I ordered delivery and saw you out here and I thought I should offer to share. Since you've been so kind in sharing your lovely hammock and free time, I want to repay the favor."

"Oh. No, I haven't eaten yet." You stand and dust the dirt off your gloves before sliding them off. Hoseok grins and hands two large bags over the fence to you. You take them, curious, and watch as he pulls himself up and over the fence. He’s careful not to step on your flowers, but he still gives an apologetic smile as you sigh. "The gate is right there, Hobi."

He winks as he rights himself and takes one of the bags. "It's faster like this." You laugh and slide your gloves off with care, not wanting to drop the food, and hang them on the fence beside you. Hoseok is already halfway to your back door and waves at Tuna where she waits on your dining table.

"Oh, Hoseok, don't-" He's opened the door before you can finish your sentence, and a small black and tan fluff darts out. The dog circles him, yipping at his toes and running back and forth between the two of you. Hoseok looks startled, but a smile spreads across his face after a moment. "I'm sorry, I'm dogsitting for my friend while he's out of town."

Hoseok coos at the dog and leads him back inside, luring him along with a small bit of meat. You laugh as you follow, sliding a hand down Tuna's back as you shut the door behind you.

"He's adorable, I love him!" Hoseok exclaims, laughing again as he sets the food on the counter. He looks at you and gestures to the piece of meat in his hand, and you nod to let him know it's fine. Yeontan takes it and follows Hobi around as he starts getting plates and utensils, the fact that he knows where they are is a testament to how often he's at your house.

The two of you eat in relative silence. Tuna bathes languidly atop her cat tower and Yeontan sits between you and Hoseok, his entire body shaking back and forth as his tail wags. Every so often, Hoseok will comment about his day, as he usually does when the two of you eat together, and he asks about yours. You tell him about the new flowers you've planted - some gorgeous white lilies that should bloom well. He tells you about his theories and opinions on the last book of yours he'd read.

By the time you're finished eating, he has several new thoughts and notes jotted down in a hasty scrawl on a napkin. He's insightful with his questions, bringing up points you hadn't considered and opinions on continuity that you need to clarify in the future. Your heart flutters in your chest when he smiles, bouncing Yeontan in his lap.

"I do think they're good, though," He says as he makes kissy faces at the dog. "Like, good good. If I ever teach a psychological horror class, I may use them. Students could learn a lot from the dedication to detail."

"Thanks, Hobi," You tell him, and you don't bother to hide the fond smile. The fluttering in your chest is familiar at this point, and it makes you sigh a little.

You're so smitten, you think as you watch him bounce Yeontan on his knee; you should, perhaps, feel more conflicted about your growing emotions. And yet, you've been accepting of it since you first met him. It was as if the second you met Hoseok, you knew you would fall for him. How could you not, with his charm and warmth and humor and the unbearable mystique he left in his wake each time you spoke to him?

"Oh, that reminds me, I have something for you!" You stand and head outside for a mere moment, grabbing what you need in a flash. When you return, Yeontan is on his belly beside Hoseok, Tuna glaring at both of them with envy. You set the pot in front of him, and he blinks at it, bewildered.

"Is this...?"

"Tulips!" You say with a grin. The yellow blossoms stand proud as he gapes, and you like to imagine that they're proud they look so good for him. "To brighten up your house. You always seem so interested them, and I had several extra seedlings this year, so I grew one for you."

The look on Hoseok's face is unreadable and he's silent for a long while as he looks at the flowers. You wait; you've seen the way he looks at your garden while the two of you talk over the fence, you've seen the way that he eyes the tulips as you weed them. You know it's a good gift, and you scream the reminder inside your chest to drown out the voice in the back of your head saying otherwise. It's worth the wait when his face splits into the biggest smile you've ever seen, radiant and bright. It almost seems to surround him, a halo of joy that feels like a summer sun.

"I absolutely love it," He tells you. "It's gorgeous, I'm going to make sure everyone can see it." He stands, potted flowers cradled in both hands like a babe, and gives Yeontan one last kiss. "I should be going anyway, I have a class in the morning, but I need to make sure I find the perfect place for these." He beams at you again, and you return his grin.

"It's nothing, Hobi," You say, walking him to the front door and opening it for him. "Consider it a housewarming gift." He beams as he makes his way across to his own house, and the way he's already cooing at the buds and talking to it have your emotions a mess.

It's been months since you first went to coffee with Hoseok. The two of you are, you would say, friends. You've definitely graduated from neighbors, and you spend more time together than acquaintances, but it feels strange to call him your friend when what you feel is so much more than that.

Every time you see him, it only gets worse. More than once, you wished time would stand still if only to keep him with you a little longer. Being around him feels like standing in a meadow of daffodils in the noon sun, heat seeping into your skin and painting the world with its oranges and yellows while the breeze whispers a promise in your ear as it rolls through you.

You wish you could bottle the feeling.

You make a note on your fridge - 'bottling emotions for capitalistic gain - too obvious? trite? overused? must consider further' - and set out a treat for Tuna. She's grumpy, likely because you've yet again woken at four in the morning and disrupted her usual bed - your face - with your need for a bathroom and a snack.

You haven't slept much that week, too busy polishing the last few press releases and comments that had to be perfect before release. You'd finally done the last of the work and had checked the mail and done your gardening before you received Joy's email saying you were good to go back into hibernation until the next book was due.

You took the hint and proceeded to pass out at around five that evening. You needed the sleep, clearly; you can't remember the last time you slept so long without even getting up to pee. Still, you muse as you munch on a week-old granola bar your mother left on her last visit, you're glad that you've gotten the book done. You're always relieved when you finish writing one, these days. In the beginning, you would wait anxiously until publication finished and the book was on the shelves. Joy had to pull you out of your rabbit hole several times, too consumed with what people were saying to even bother with anything else.

That was before Tuna, of course, and the garden.

Now, you were content seeing whatever happened your way. You didn't much care for professional reviews anymore; they were nice but they weren't as honest. The random people who stumbled onto Twitter in the early hours of the morning because they'd just turned the last page were much more genuine. There were always those that criticized you, of course, but you contented yourself with the knowledge that they never had to read your books if they didn't want to. Others enjoyed them, and that was what mattered. The ones who read them and then couldn't sleep, either for need to express their thoughts to someone before they could rest or because they were too on edge, too anxious, the ones who saw danger in every mundane shadow of their bedroom after putting your book down, those were the ones who mattered to you.

A bang startles you out of your thoughts, and you share a look with Tuna. Her fur is raised, tail straight up as she looks to your front door. You follow her gaze and see nothing, which isn't unusual. Tuna regularly communes with whatever shadow monsters exist in that parallel plane of existence only cats can see. It's not typical, however, for you to be able to hear said shadow monsters.

You pad your way to the front door, sliding one of the hardcovers that had arrived the day before into your hand as you do, in case one of the shadow monsters tried something. Another bang echoes throughout your house, followed by a series of quick, desperate knocks. Deciding that no respectable shadow monster would knock before murdering you, you open the door to see Hoseok, panicked and sweating and panting. He looks as surprised as you feel.

"Um…" is all he says for a minute, and you wait. "I didn't expect you to answer, honestly, I just. You weren't around earlier so I didn't want to use the hammock, and it's getting kind of chilly, and so I tried to sleep in the house, but it's gotten worse and I was doing alright but then it started making these noises? So I tried to get it to stop with some things I found online but that only made it all worse, and then it seemed like things were gonna shoot around the room, so I-"

"Hoseok," You interrupt. He stops, fixing wide eyes on you. "Context." "My house is being haunted by some kind of demon monster and I think it's going to try to kill me and I would really appreciate your help in exorcising it." You blink, but the grave expression on his face doesn't change. It takes a second for your brain to fit that particular frame around the puzzle that Hoseok has been - sleeping in the hammock, random coffee trips where he's jittery and on edge, the minute you go to leave the cafe, the terrified look in his eyes whenever he comes over or sparks a conversation out of nowhere.

"Okay," You say, sliding the book under your arm and closing the door behind you. Hoseok looks taken aback at the idea that you're actually going to help him, but he hesitantly follows as you head across the front yard to his own front door.

The house is quiet when you enter, the shadows of still-yet-to-be-unpacked boxes dancing on the walls as you turn the overhead light on. He's lived in the house for months and yet it seems only the bare necessities have been unpacked; it should surprise you more, but considering the fact that he's spent all that time believing there's a ghost haunting him, you aren't surprised.

Your first walk through the house doesn't seem to trigger anything. It's completely silent, eerily still, and yet Hoseok seems to jump at every creak of a floorboard, ready to run at every twisting shadow that shies away from the light.

"Is there a ghost here?" You eventually call into the living room, and Hoseok curses at the soft thud that echoes. Your eyes narrow, darting around the space. "I asked a question. Don't be rude, it's very inconsiderate of you." There's a couple of other thuds eyes track them around the room. "If you don't stop, I'm going to start performing an exorcism, and then who's going to regret being impolite?"

Hoseok hisses your name, but you ignore him, instead of focusing on the way the lamp in the corner wobbles ever so slightly. Hoseok clearly also notices this, inching towards the door once more.

"Hoseok said you were talking to him. Am I not good enough?" There's a pause, and then a warbled voice reverberates through the room, eerie and lingering, which only cements your theory. You turn to Hoseok and lower your voice, barely even whispering. You're so close that your lips brush his ear as you ask him where the entrance to his attic is. He leads you to it, stepping softly and avoiding the creaky floorboards as you do.

It's harder to be quiet as he pulls the trapdoor down, stairs sliding along with it, but at this point, you don't need to be. You ascend first, Hoseok following close behind. He no longer looks afraid, merely curious, and you're glad for it. It's a pity that he's felt so alienated from his own house.

There are several squeaking sounds as you turn on your phone flashlight and showing Hoseok exactly what has been haunting him: a pink-haired young man and his blonde friend, both scrambling for cover amidst the sleeping bag and snack wrappers that litter the floor of the attic.

You stand aside as Hoseok chases them out, cursing about mice and sleep and ungrateful friends as he does. When Jungkook and Jimin are both gone, laughing so hard they can't run, you show Hoseok the boots they used to stomp around, the nearly-invisible fishing line threaded down and around various lamps and paintings, the radio hookup they used to change their voices.

"It's all stuff I've used in books before," You tell him as he pours a cups of coffee for you both. "Also, I could hear them laughing."

"I feel like an idiot for waking you up for this. And for sleeping in a hammock and getting chased out of my house for something so stupid." He runs a hand through his hair and the fondness in your chest grows. He doesn’t look at you, instead staring at the potted tulips sitting in his kitchen window. It mirrors your own, and you’ve caught yourself staring more than once from your own kitchen.

"There are worse things,” you say.

"Oh?"

"Mhm. I could've not had a hammock." The small grin he gives has you melting, and you want nothing more than to wrap him in a hug and kiss away the line between his brows.

“You have a point," He says with a small laugh. "It is a really comfortable hammock. I almost don't want to go back to my bed."

"So don't," You say, voice steady despite the fluttering in your chest. The tone in his voice feels new, feels good, like perhaps he's standing in that meadow of daffodils with you, and it gives you hope. "You're always welcome to use the hammock. As I said, someone should, otherwise it's going to hang there, all sad and lonely."

He looks shocked to hear that, though you aren't sure why. It isn't like you've been very secretive of the way he makes you feel; but then, you haven't been outright vocal, either. And he did think he was being haunted for the better part of four months, without realizing it was two of his friends living in his attic.

"You're welcome to come over whenever, Hobi," You tell him. "You don't need to be chased out by a ghost to talk to me."

"I don't want to interrupt your work," He says. His voice is hesitant and sweet and it reminds you of the orange blossoms you used to plant with your grandmother.

"I'm actually finished with my book," You tell him. He makes a questioning noise, and you remember the hardcover tucked under your arm and set it on the counter. "This is actually for you." He steps closer to look it over and flips it around to look at the back as well.

"I can't take your only copy," He starts but you cut him off with a shake of your head.

"I have one for me," You say. Your voice is firm, unaffected by the rolling of your stomach, but it's quieter than usual. "That's yours. I wanted your opinion on it if it lives up to the hype. We talked about the one right before this last week, and I'm curious if this one will answer any of your questions or if it leaves you with more. I've been trying some new things, and I'm not sure how well I executed them."

You choke the need to keep talking. Instead, you bite your tongue and return the look Hoseok is giving you; it's intense and full of something you can't place. But he's opened the book to the back, fingers resting lightly against the dedication bearing his name, thumb brushing the red carnation you'd pressed between the pages out of sheer impulse.

"You don't have to read it, of course," You eventually say.

"I'll need something to do while you garden, though," He says, stepping closer and letting the book fall closed. "I can't exactly lay in that hammock and watch you garden, can I?"

"If you wanted, you could." He's closer than he's ever been now, eyes focused on your lips even as he studies your face for any sign that you don't want him there. "I wouldn't mind."

When he finally presses his lips to yours, they're softer than you expected. Even his hands are soft as he slides them up to cup your jaw and press deeper, like gardenia blossoms against your skin, and everywhere he touches is warmed, as if the sun itself was dancing across you. It makes it hard to breathe, but god, at this point, you'd be fine with never breathing again so long as he kept kissing you.

It feels like hours when he finally pulls away, a shy smile painted pink with the sunrise, and it's breathtaking.

Later that day, you plant lilies, white and yellow intermixed in a pattern that your grandmother taught you, while Hoseok swings lazily in your hammock, one leg on the ground to rock himself. He spouts questions at you as he does, making little notes in the margins of each page as you respond, Tuna curled beside him and happily snoring.

You should plant more daffodils, you decide as you watch them.

#fic: amae #bts #bts fanfic #bts fluff #hoseok x reader #hoseok fluff #hobi x reader #jhope x reader #neighbor!hobi #neighbor hobi #neighbor hoseok #neighbor jhope #kpop fanfiction #reader insert #ddaenggtan #this is literally so much fluff #there is exactly zero (0) smut so im sorry if thats why u read it lmao #boyfriend!hoseok #soft hoseok

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ts-crossroads · 7 years ago

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Episode Three - “The World’s Smallest Violin, Playing Just For You” - Rebecka

Hey so....guess who we just got out? EMILY. It’s wild because she was so confident and strategic and that made for the perfect blindside. I feel like she was doing well until she thought she had solidified Johnny’s vote, that was a little messy. I hope she isn’t right about us losing challenges now. I think we can do well and hopefully pull through, if anything me and John are pretty solid on either side with Haley or with Johnny/Ryan. Now that Rhone is gone and I literally only know John I’m trying to cling to him a bit just because I feel like he has a stronger social standing. But we shall see!

I cannot believe someone called out Emily for liking our tribe better. I mean I don’t blame her, impala is great. But their tribe was safe last round literally bc they worked with us. Also I’m nervous about this switching tribe thing bc I love my tribe and I really don’t want to lose them hahaha. At least I don’t have to worry about Emily and Bryan later down the road. But Emily did seem like someone I wanted to work with :/ oh well Ok everyone I talk to on this tribe loves it and ned even took it as far as saying he wants all of us at final 6. I’m sorry but like, no Hahahaha. When we merge, I will rely on some of these relationships (ned, Chris and Dane) but I will work with others, I can’t just stick with my start up tribe hahaha

Fatum's tribal went a lot better than expected. Now that Emily's out of the picture, I'm not as concerned about Bryan flipping. What I AM concerned about is the possibility of Fauna and Onion teaming up against us, because if the questions from the last tribal are any indication, it sounds like people aren't too happy about our winning streak. As Storymaster, Chris chose to let everyone decide if they want to mutiny. I think everyone on our tribe is staying, but I imagined a horrible scenario where the entire Onion tribe mutinied to Fauna and the tribes were suddenly 10-6. Please no.

Wow. Tribal went fantastic. I had my formal last night and was completely blackout during tribal council, so I didn't fully wrap my head around what was happening until right now, and THANK GOD IT HAPPENED!! Emily was playing too hard, and not only that, but the five of us were very together on what was happening, which is good for team cohesion. I am going HAM on the next immunity challenge because I do not wanna go back to tribal council, but I know it's bound to happen again. I definitely think the next vote is going to be between Nicole and Haley, in terms of the names being thrown out there, but without a doubt, I am not voting out Haley. I need to bring her rookie-try hard ass to the merge, because I think I've officially found someone who is going to be a bigger target come merge than I would ever be, because I somehow always seem to be that target, and to be quite honest here, I'm fairly confident in making merge now that I've made it through one tribal. I have this very serious goal this round to have an edgic of MOR2. I need to not be under the radar, because obviously a winner is never under the radar, but I really need to be low-key this round. I didn't take any heat in particular last round, but Ryan was a bit confused as to why I was agreeing to vote for him, and the good part is that he was saying he was scared because he didn't wanna expose our relationship, so he can just be saying that, or he can actually mean it. I need to just lay low and really hope we don't go to tribal, and I don't get selected to go a tribal council. I want to quietly look for the idol, by myself, and hope to make progress, while not being super communicative in hopes for the best. I'm playing in a risky reward challenge, and I think I'm not gonna try too hard in the challenge, since it's all about knocking people out of the challenge, unless I get later in the challenge and it's advantageous for me. I don't want to make those moves against anyone, so we'll see what happens since that's an auto target on my back if I play that challenge a bit poorly. We'll see what happens.

A bitch has a confessional, socially im flopping. Which is bad. Because my alliance of me, Brandon and Jake is fucked bc Rebecka or Bran has an idol. But they both hate eachother omg. Rebecka SNAPPED on his ass!

Chris thinking he is slick but then accidentally messaging Bryan about me and Bryan and then deleting it immediately. I see how it is, you’re done :)

Ok me and Bryan are working together without Chris. I don’t know if Chris knows I know. I’m sure he does bc Bryan confronted him (not sure if that was the smartest) but Bryan didn’t specify if he told Chris or if Chris would assume a relationship between me and Bryan. I really thought I could trust Chris but that’s shady that he messaged Bryan (obvs meaning to send it elsewhere) about how he told me and Bryan to not do 13. It makes me want to try 13 anyway. I am hoping he meant it for his confessional chat rather than another castaway. I would hate to feel like the entire tribe is working against me

Also going back to earlier, I’m pissed bran won. He used a movie poster and like 4 edits on photoshop whereas I made my flag from scratch and I only lost by 5 points. I came so close compared to the other submissions and I just worked so hard on it

Ok so I smoothed things over with Chris and with Bryan and I think I can now work with both of them in this idol hunt. I just really want to find it bc I find idols so rarely :( I think since we haven’t been in trouble yet, paranoia is just taking over some of this tribe. I want to believe that Chris was just telling his confessional chat and that he lied to Bryan about working with me to maximize his chances of finding the idol. It’s a great plan, I don’t blame him for it. But a small part of me worries he is working with someone else on the tribe against me and Bryan. I know it wouldn’t be ned. The more we talk, the more we have in common. I really see us going far together. I haven’t spoken to autumn since day 1 in one world so it could very well likely be her or even Dane. Just bc he’s on so infrequently and he doesn’t say much when he is online. But a majority part of me is saying that Chris meant to make it a confessional.

this game is lame, i trust no one on my tribe, i trust no one on the other tribes.

Bran can't submit even 1 item for the scavenger hunt but can somehow show up to win the reward challenge AS WELL AS argue with me that they should be team captain? oh im so sorry that i dont want you to be the captain. in fact, here's the world's smallest violin, playing JUST for you, bran. Sometimes i think I should've mutiny-ed but I dont think i'd be any better off. I don't fully trust brandon after the whole let's blindside rhone and make him first boot like what the actual fuck who thought that was a good idea our tribe sucks but at least brandon will talk to me even if its not game related? idk everything is lame im lame i give up bye !!!!

Alright so a lot has happened. Ned found half of an idol so I HOPE we’re able to find this other half after immunity results. Autumn, Ned, Dane, and myself have officially formed our 4some. I fucked up by making Bryan something NOT meant for him. I basically said I was using Sam and Bryan. I think I recovered with Sam but Bryan definitely doesn’t trust me. Regardless we can split votes 2-2-2 if needed. My tribe volunteered me to compete in the challenge... That was NOT the plan. I do not want to be the guy everyone looks to for challenges because then I become Joe Anglim. And I don’t want to be Joe Anglim. But I beat Johnny so I’m safe. I hope I beat BDC cause if so, Johnny is taking me to his tribe to vote with him at tribal. This’ll be my Opportunity to gain some trust with them for the inevitable swap.

I'm so broken apart by what happened this round. I honestly love playing, since it's going to be the most survivor-like experience I can possibly get, and I love getting to know people and play the game and be a power player, but I can't do that if I'm getting voted out third. So to start why I'm so upset, let's rewind to last night. I decided to volunteer to compete in the immunity challenge for my tribe. I know I'm a pretty decent competitor, and I really really thought I had a chance at winning immunity this round, but that clearly isn't what happened. I am fairly confident in my challenge skills, but once I'm ready to compete, Owen tells me that we'll be competing in a logic puzzle..................... For anyone who doesn't know, logic puzzles are absolutely the worst thing to ever happen to me ever, I literally take nine hours to do the simple ones, so this was just death. I actually really honed in on the challenge, but couldn't come out with a W. I was prepared for me, as the losing captain, to choose someone from the winning tribe to win to bring to tribal with me, and I was going to pick Jake, but OF COURSE the twists keep changing every round, which is getting more and more annoying to deal with, but I'm rolling with it. The decision was this: On 12/18/17, at 6:47 PM, Owen (Crossroads Host) wrote: > This round, your tribe is going back to tribal. However, only three of the five of you will be eligible to WALK THE PLANK. Because you failed as a captain, you are automatically one of the three eligible. The winning captain has selected Ryan to join you. Between John, Haley, and Nicole you must select the third person to face elimination with you. Only the three of you will be able to get votes. It will not be revealed which person the winner picked and which person you chose. It is your own decision as a captain. SOOOOOOOOOOO Now Ryan and I are forced to be the two votes, and i'm basically forced to single handedly choose, before everyone else finds out, who I'm voting for this round, because I'm clearly not voting for Ryan this round since i trust him. My thought process was that I was either going to have to choose between the "stoners" (john haley ryan me) or the vets on our tribe, which is Nicole Ryan Haley me, and I basically chose the stoners to side with since I don't have an alliance chat with the vets, and I didn't want shit blowing up if I chose Haley. The biggest reason John was off the table was because the names going around last round were everyone except him and I, so I just wanted as many people to potentially get voted for to be up for eviction with me.

As for what I'm thinking for this vote.... i'm tripping out a little bit now that it's been announced. I told Nicole that I am the reason she's up to be voted out, because i wanted to be transparent. I figured lying about it doesn't really help the situation this round. When it comes down to who I'm voting for. I'm locking in Nicole because i can't vote for Ryan. I know that Ryan and Haley are never going to vote for me, and I'm hoping John wouldn't vote for me, but now I'm hearing a few other things that are making me a bit disappointed with him, where John wants to keep Nicole, but says he won't vote for Ryan or I. This is all according to Haley. I think I'm going to have a knot in my stomach until tribal council happens, and I'm tip toeing on the idea of telling Haley I have a half of an idol, but I'm thinking that I'll probably find another half very soon, so I'm just trying to hold onto the fact that I can have a completely secret idol, while consistently telling people where to search, and me knowing that I can't possibly have found something, when in all reality, I've got a half an idol and I'm being very cautious about it. What some people AREN'T being cautious about is how much they tell Haley. I trust that Haley wants to work with me very well, I'm not questioning that, but I am questioning how smart that girl is. She seems very eager, which is good, but she told me that SHE and NICOLE both have halves of idols to where I'm like WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK OWEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GIVING AWAY THIS MANY HALVES!?!!?? The good thing is that I know where three of them are, and that's because Haley told me. Once Haley knows something, everyone knows. I'm being good at keeping my mouth shut this time around :)

Ok I’m glad we won the challenge. But how imperium stands right now I think if we do go to a vote it will be a 3 to 3 vote with me, Sam and Ned against Chris, autumn, and Dane or 4 to 2 with me, Sam, Ned, and Dane against Chris and autumn.

Okay so I am about to single handedly make a blindside happen at tribal, alongside the help of Haley. I went on call with Haley, and told her I had a half an idol, which wasn't my first choice of things I wanted to do, due to my traumatic idol PTSD from past games, but I took a different route by telling Haley, and I made a pretty ingenious plan to get me into the best position on this tribe as possible. Step 1: Get Haley to give me her other half of the idol. (DONE) Step 2: Tell Haley that it's okay to vote for me at tribal, and that it's going to be 3 votes for me, 2 votes for Nicole (DONE) Step 3: Watch the blindside unfold. Step 4: Do damage control with John. Let Ryan be mad at John and Haley for voting for me, let John have to apologize for voting for me, and me play victim and try to really rebuild the strength of our relationships. And then after that, make sure that John and Ryan are the ones at odds with each other, while me getting John back on my side, and putting me back in the driver's seat. I know that this is going to put an insane target on my back when it gets to later in the game, and I'm going to be the guy who had a good idol play in the third round, and I'm going to be the guy that's like "he found the idol once, he can probably find one again" so I'm going to have to be real tricky with getting to merge, because I think the target is going to be on my back a lot more now than it would have ever been this early in the game, but I'll just have to throw caution to the wind and really come up with some shit and hope for the best. I did not want to have to play this hard this early, but it's happening :/ I need a swap soon. I would LOVE for us to go to tribal one more time before we swapped, to vote out John, and then Haley, Ryan and I all make it to a swap, to where I need to build some super strong relationships with some people. Haley ratted out John so much to me in the midst of this whole thing, and that Nicole and John are trying to vote for me this round, and John is going to say some snarky shit like "There's only room for one John." I'm torn on when I'm going to use the "throw haley under the bus" card, but I'm not quite there yet. I know it's going to come eventually, because that girl is playing very well very hard and very early in this game, so it'll be too tough to tell. I don't like that this is how this round is happening, but I'm ready for that OTTP5 edgic this round..... Me when I wanted a MOR3 NFVNVKSLDNFJKLVNLJKSDF

So more information coming your way live from Johnny's bed :) So Haley also tells me that Nicole is negotiating Haley's vote for the half of an idol that Nicole has, so now the plan is for Nicole to give Haley the half an idol before tribal, and then I'm going to be idoling out Nicole at tribal, while Haley has the half an idol in her pocket, which means we're back to Haley having a half, and all we have to do is find one more half, and we're golden. This is a very productive round for my game. If only this was a merge tribal council this was happening at, I'd be making a winning move here, but it's cool. I'll just hope for Owen to continue to throw twists my way that can hopefully get me out of these snake holes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So it's been a lot more calm now that we won the last two challenge which is nice although there was some drama picking team captain, I thought Rebecka was getting close with Bran but them fighting over Bran being captain or not showed that Rebecka isn't with him.

And I'm kinda worried about her cus I know Julia and her have some kind of connection now, I also think she's doing anything she can to get back into good graces. Like when I said I was doing my final project yesterday she PMd me saying that I could do it and she believed in me and shit which is nice and myabe that's her being genuine but she wasn't that talkative until she realized she was on the bottom so hmmm I feel like she might just be trying to get me to trust her now. But hunny I don't buy it, you're a threat. I don't trust you and if we ever swapped tribes and it was just you and me on a new tribe I already know you'd try to get my ass out. So i'ma strike first. Idk if we're gonna tribe swap next round or not but if we don't and we lose the challenge I am pushing hard for Rebecka to go. She is a threat to me and her torch needs to be snuffed.

Things are finally getting wild. I brought together my two alliances to form the Kids Next Door, an alliance consisting of Chris, Autumn, Dane, and myself. I've also been forming better relationships with Sam and Bryan, because it's looking pretty likely that we'll end up swapping soon- and I genuinely like them both. Like, if we ended up as the final 6, I'd be incredibly happy. Chris also screwed up and sent Bryan a message that was meant for Autumn and me, and Bryan went and told me about it- so I'm hoping he trusts me enough to give me information in case we ever lose. The only person I haven't talked strategy with is Sam, so it feels like we're both walking on thin ice trying to avoid mentioning the elephant in the room: that she betrayed me once, and we'd LIKE to work together, but we don't know if it's possible to completely trust one another given our history. Also, my pockets are overflowing with little knickknacks that I can't really do anything with. https://78.media.tumblr.com/ea49454532a394d02c4f61d90a7c7362/tumblr_nhrjgwdRhp1u4mldxo1_400.gif So far, in the Storybook, I've found a challenge advantage, half a Hidden Immunity Idol, and a coin that might possibly one day do something if I'm lucky. I'm hoping I get to stick around to see all these things pay off. In the meantime, only Johnny, Ryan, and Nicole are eligible to be voted off, and I'm really hoping Nicole goes home. If Johnny goes home I might cry.

BDC is a real asshole to pick me over Haley and John. I know he doesn’t like me , I wish he wasn’t so fucking fake

Our tribe has alliances within alliance and it's starting to unfold. Our tribe is a mess and very sloppy you never know where people heads are at you get told one thing one minute and next it's a whole new thing. Hopefully the people who I trust which is Ryan, john and Johnny all stick with the original plan tonight and vote Nicole .

Ok so there's officially two alliances within Imperium- one with Dane and one without him lol. Ned, Chris, and I are the closest so we're Mystery Inc since I said our tribe feels a lot like Scooby Doo. We believe the three of us are Fred, Shaggy, and Daphne while Dane, Sam, and Bryan are Scooby, Velma, and Scrappy. Honestly I can't unsee it and that alliance could highkey go all the way because no one really picks up on it. The one with Dane is Kids Next Door based off of Codename Kids Next Door haha; Ned is No. 1, Dane is No. 3, Chris is No. 4, and I'm No. 5 (we've given Owen No. 2 lmao). Both alliances are solid and I feel really good about that so no complaints! Imperium talks all day every day so I really don't even want us to go to tribal. We're very 60's and all about peace, love, and good vibes. Yes we have a suballiance and I know Vietnam is coming but so far we don't really have any major problems or issues to work out. I think Sam and Bryan are too dangerous to make merge but we're lowkey a family now so I'm slightly torn. THERE BETTER NOT BE A TRIBE SWAP OR ELSE ILL FIGHT KNOW THAT

So like this tribe is so sketchy. Like bitch if you are gonna be so sketchy get a sketchbook smh. Anyways, so like I only trust Brandon on this tribe. Fuck the rest of these hoes. I can sniff out the BS. So Brandon and I are pretty positive that Bran got an Idol. And we are also pretty posititve Bran is throwing the challenges because he has an idol, and wants to play it. Which puts anyone at risk in this tribe. Like shit! I ain't got time 4 it. And ALSO Rebecka and Jake. Don't even get me started. I used to make alliances and close friendships of mine very obvious on accident, and they are no different. Like bitch OBVIOUSLY you are messing around. And that is VERY DANGEROUS. Because it outs the Brandon /Jake/Julia allaince, and makes Jake safe, and screws Brandon and I. UgHHH. I am really hoping for a goddamn swap ngl.

https://youtu.be/Nf6Gt2hLBHI

I'm so annoyed, but if this works, it may be one of the biggest early moves I've ever made. First off.... the confessional from earlier. It was a genius idea, but of course our tribe's village idiot fucks it up yet again (dull) So OF COURSE (surprise surprise) Haley tells Ryan about the idol, which means that our cover is blown, Ryan is mad I didn't tell him, and now Haley is "telling" me she is 100% voting for Nicole. I don't trust Haley for shit, so I run to John because I've just gotta get him 100% on my side to make sure that he is going to be voting to keep me, and he knows that he can use me in the future, and that even though he loves Nicole, he's gotta trust me. I tell John that Haley gave me her half of the idol, and that I've got the whole thing. I told John that if he doesn't tell anyone that he knows about my idol, it gives us a lot of wiggle room and we can figure out how Haley is going to use her knowing about my idol to her advantage, and we can just out her more as a snake than she has been for the first three rounds of this game. John also told me that Nicole gave her half of the idol to John, since she is so confident she is being voted out, so now Haley has nothing (thank the lord), i've got a full one, and John has a half, which can turn into a whole very very soon since apparently these things are dumb easy to find. (Note: I told John that if I found another half, I'd give it to him, but there's no way in fucking hell I'm giving up a half an idol, are you fucking kidding me? The only way I'd give it to him is if I had to do something dumb, publicly, to obtain the idol... Then I'd give it to John *eyeroll*) Nicole and John both promised me I'm not being fucked with, and that I'm a good guy and this isn't some master blindside, and if they're correct, then we're going to have four stoners here after tribal council, and our alliance of four is what is going to remain. Here is where I stand right now: 1. I don't trust Haley for shit 2. I need to work on John's trust, and I kinda expect him to tell Ryan about my whole idol, but he knows that Ryan knows and that may get back to me, so he may not tell Ryan 3. Ryan needs to know that I still have utmost trust in him, and that him and I are probably at the center of this tribe right now, because next tribal will probably be between John and Haley going home. 4. Nicole is a saint, does not deserve this if she's getting voted out, but if she has an idol of some kind, and i'm being fucked with, rip Ryan. I'm praying this tribal goes in my favor.

https://youtu.be/NhG5oWDSHpw https://youtu.be/6NYH_XsYX8c

#tscrossroads #episode three #confessionals

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seongkiran-blog · 7 years ago

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( i’m sobbing she’s precious )

hi guys, i’m jules and i’m so excited to be a part of this rp !! i just saw that my app was in all caps by mistake bc my phone likes to fuck with me like that and i’m cringing omg. so i applied a few days ago but life got super hectic and i only just reapplied now that i’ve come up for air rip. but this is my eternally fucked, lowkey honey girl kiran who thinks she’s stoic and intimidating af but more often than not has the smallest of smiles at the v least on her face. here’s some basic — & extensive, sorry lmao — info about her ( TW: death, self-destructive behaviour, adjustment disorder/situational depression ) :

born seong kiran/kiran diana seong on march 12, 1997

scarborough, canada born and raised to first-gen korean-canadian parents

the epitome of a bitter smol™ that’s prepared to fight over everything (stubborn brat )

has twin five year old siblings that she fucking adores, which is a big deal since she doesn’t care intensely for many people

her parents were both only kids that ventured into science-based careers; her mom was a pharmacist at her late grandparents’ small clinic and her dad was a neurosurgeon at toronto gen hospital, so they were upper-middle class you could say

s u c k e d at making friends in her formative years and when she did, they didn’t stay for v long

plenty of chances for her to find new friends though since the gta is huge and has a ton of other kids around so it wasn’t all in vain

also her vanity when she was a kid was prob a turn off for others lol

smart af, like english? a’s. math? a’s french? a+

eventually didn’t suck at the whole friend thing and had a small group of people she grew rather fond of

she ended up graduating as valedictorian and was accepted to mcgill to study pre-med and become a neurosurgeon just like papa seong

always wanted to follow in his footsteps, so it came as no surprise to her parents

( TW: DEATH ) during her midterm break in her first sem, her parents decided to take the family to their cabin near muskoka for a weekend away from the city/suburbs

they were a little over halfway there when her dad tried to veer the suv away from a moose in the middle of their lane, but wasn’t successful

kiran was conscious during the whole thing, though she sustained a concussion and the twins were unharmed in their carseats; however their mother died on impact and their father suffered from a cranial injury ( .. i only just realized how ironic and morbid this is after working with this muse for a while oh my g o d )

she went with the twins to the hospital and was inconsolable over the loss of her mother alone, while her father was in critical condition and the outlook was promising, though not certain

he was put in a medically induced coma after being operated on and she and her godparents ( who advised her on the whole thing since they were docs themselves ) decided to hold out hope for a recovery

the twins were put in her care and she was left to deal with the burden of their loss, her education and the obvious, her brother and sister’s newfound dependency on her

she withdrew from the few people she became close to over the years, her grades began to slip as well, and she was always weighed down by grief and anxiety

she tried to stay in school while taking care of the twins, but it was becoming more and more difficult to do so. she just managed to keep her head above water throughout the rest of the first sem though

moved out of res, into an apartment and relocated the twins for the time being to see if she could pull it off

( TW: SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOUR ) add the fact that a part of her began to question if she could really follow in her dad’s footsteps, and that she let further anxiety from the pressures of making her parents proud get to her and she was soon on a downward spiral

she slipped away from her academics and was slowly becoming a poor guardian; soon, kiran was partying too hard and winding up in the hospital or a stranger’s dorm, skipping labs, and was generally a lost cause when the twins were under the care of a sitter

failed a couple of courses by the end of the second semester and had her godparents flying out to crack down on her dumb ass

felt hopeless and lost, but especially so when she posed the risk of losing the only family that she had left, realizing how selfish her actions were and trying to amend her mistakes

dropped out of mcgill for the time being and took up a job as a retail clerk to provide for the three of them ( despite inheriting their mom’s estate and all, as she put the money that came from it into the kids’ savings )

was soon in the clear in her godparents’ opinion and has tried to do right by her parents and siblings since then

after losing herself for a while, she found that she was right back to where she started with friend-making, but rather than it being her just not knowing how, it was that she didn’t want to let people in after everything that had happened

she didn’t remain a loner, but she didn’t have a ride or die by any means

for the sake of her a.d and bc of the bad memories that t.o and mtl held, she found herself relocating to greenville of all places

but deep down she knows mama seong would be happy about the kids growing up in a smaller town than near dt toronto

about four months after settling in, she began attending a nearby college in what would have been her fourth semester and has since maintained a high gpa after retaking the courses she fucked up in

her dad has since woken up, but he’s going through extensive forms of therapy to restore his motor, neurological, etc functions

she’d be back in t.o if her godparents hadn’t advised against it since it was still rly overwhelming for him and his three kids ( two of whom wouldn’t rly know him either ) coming back prob wouldn’t help ??

still has nightmares from the accident, the girl’s scarred for life and is thankful that the twins were too young to remember

sees a psychiatrist at the behest of her godmother bc she rly can’t cope by herself in all of this but she doesn’t like to burden others with her problems ( doesn’t like people knowing much about her regardless but )

now to her personality and extra facts ig ??? this has gotten so out of hand already, sTOP ME

the most stubborn chick alive, will never admit she’s wrong unless you weasel it out of her with some heavy guilt-tripping

she used to be a fucking NIGHTMARE to most people before everything went awry, still can be but it’s more or less an act with a little bit of it also being herself

a true instagram addict, which makes sense bc she can be p vain at times

rather intuitive tbh

can be insightful as well

feigns annoyance and boredom with people/their antics

some weird ass detachment method on her part that she didn’t shake, but question her on it and she’ll shut it tf down

but is still genuinely, easily irritated all the same ?? not even i understand this chick

curses like a sailor is she isn’t too curt in her responses

has a problem with trusting others, feels like she can only truly rely on herself so if you break through that barrier then congrats ig

she won’t make it obvious though, she’s a sociable being and will actually take to you if you pique her interest with free booze or a wild story

just don’t expect her to surrender much of her life story, but she’ll also get a bit offended if you don’t offer a bit of your own ??

the most annoying internalizer of emotions ever if you’re actually friends with her, 110% will not confide in you if you’re not one of four or five people in her life

also fears loss more than anything, so she isn’t close to many people for BOTH the trusting aspect, as well as wanting to spare herself the pain of watching more loved ones die or leave

but if you’re one of the v select few people she’s let in completely, she’ll never let you go. she’s the definition of loyal and will legit die for you

so so devoted to her little brother and sister, like she loves them more than anything and does everything so that they can succeed when they’re older

all of the sports acceptable for kindergarteners, music lessons, ballet, you name it, she’s got them registered

puts them before herself all the fucking time, her mom wouldn’t be impressed with her putting herself last as opposed to finding equilibrium

anyways, point is, you’ll never see her be more affectionate and joyful than with her family, godparents included

her being good with other kids though ?? she’s been working on it and she’s coming around

still can’t stand screaming brats though lmao

will be super polite to even her enemy’s parents mostly bc fuck that person.. unless their parents aren’t pleasant people either, then she’ll be unpleasant right back lmao

trust me when i say that she has a heart of gold and will do what’s morally right, is so so soft but will forever be in denial like i cannOT STRESS ENOUGH

defensive pessimism at its finest

fluent in french and korean

memes are lowkey the way to her heart

well, memes and food ofc

such a poutine hoe™

sci fi junkie

here for aesthetically pleasing everything

her place is almost never in disorder, oddly enough

quite the party girl, though not the same as when she was a frosh, is able to control herself when there aren’t too many stressors plaguing her

queer af, doesn’t know what her sexuality is but she knows she isn’t straight ( but for all intents and purposes, she’s pansexual )

she just needs someone else to take care of her honestly, she still doesn’t know what she’s doing with herself lmao

trying her best™ to be better in general but change doesn’t happen overnight so she’s not rushing into it, aka she’s still comfortable with being a bit of an asshole for as long as possible

you sometimes won’t know who she is from one day to the next, kind of the personification of a wild ride

so that’s kiran, if you’d like to plot just hmu or like this and i’ll come to you !! i’ll link some possible connections later bc my laptop’s about to die and i can’t find the charger anywhere ? @my mom, pls stop moving my stuff, it’s giving me more heart palpitations than my econ final last month

#ooc tbd.#i'm too lazy to try to figure one out rn lmao

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