#doctor cumstains

[wh0lemilk0vich]

you said you wanted angst and i’m here to deliver. in my head, stevie is relatively confident in herself but struggles with changes, whether it’s day to day things like a doctor’s appointment being canceled or bigger changes like what’s been happening to her body since she started estrogen and dating eddie (mostly dating eddie). every morning, she has at least one full glass of water before her coffee, goes for a short run around the neighborhood, takes a piping hot shower (it helps with her chronic pain), and gets dressed in the outfit she picked the night before for her shift at the diner. one morning, her alarm doesn’t go off and she wakes up on her own 10 minutes late. this isn’t a big deal until she realizes they’re out of filtered water, so unless she wants to run to the store or drink suspicious tap water, she has to just skip to her coffee. when she goes to take her usual run, she discovered that they’re doing roadwork on the path she usually runs so she just does a short loop before arriving home. when she finally undresses and steps into the shower, looking forward to the heat on her body, it comes out ice cold. her sour mood immediately turns on her boyfriend, knowing that his affinity for 30 minute showers probably wiped out all the hot water while she was busy scrambling to find some semblance of routine. after scrubbing her body just enough to call it acceptable, she marches to their shared room and starts tearing into eddie a bit about the water. he matches her energy, and the two quarrel about the things like stevie picking up extra shifts that disrupt their days off together and eddie leaving his socks around. when eddie makes a jab about her being spoiled, stevie (still in just a towel mind you) spits in his face and smiles because spoiled girls get to be brats. eddie grabs her hands and pins her against the wall, causing the towel to fall as he begins biting her neck harshly and squeezing her chunky hips. he pulls her to the bed and onto his lap, spanking her and watching the fat of her ass and thighs ripple while she whimpers and eggs him on. she ends up cumming from just the spanking and eddie fucks her supple tits, cumming all over her face and tongue. as they calm down and hold each other, they’re able to have an honest conversation about their stresses and brainstorm some solutions (because they’ve done this song and dance with argument as foreplay before). when the two finally notice the time and realize they need to get to work, stevie’s outfit for today was crumpled on the floor from the sex kerfuffle, but the funny thing is it didn’t even bother her, especially not after noticing the huge cumstain on the inside collar. rockstar!eddie thots to come later this week (ft dressing room sex, grinding a guitar on stage, and tearing of leather pants as performance art but also because it’s sexy).

-🫑

As an adhd-er with a strong need for consistency I can 1000000% relate to many little changes leading to disregulation, overstimulation, and meltdown. I would be the absolute worst brat if all of that happened to me.

I love this so much

"Really Eddie!?"

"What? Wanna clue me in, princess?"

"You didn't leave me any hot water! Hot water hog."

"I'd be real careful about which words your using, Stevie. Glass houses and all that. How do you think I feel when I get the shower after you?"

"But at least I'm not in there for the whole fucking morning. I mean Jesus, Edds, I don't ask for much. All I fucking wanted after this stupid fucking morning was for my stupid Goddamn shower to be hot!"

Eddie grabbing hold of her and trying to calm her down.

"Baby, calm down. You're being a raging fucking cunt acting a little hysterical right now."

Stevie hears the former even if Eddie said the latter and spits in his face like you said, and that when Eddie goes furiously calm and needs to do some brat taming.

Pressing her against the wall, tugging her head back and growling hot and severe in her ear.

"Poor little rich girl. Was the water temperature not to her majesty's liking? The water pressure? What's it going to be next, thread count not high enough on the sheets? Sorry they're not Egyptian cotton, your highness. God, you're so fucking spoiled."

Tugging her towel off and she's already half hard. He bends her over his lap, his own hardness pressing through his boxers against her soft belly. He starts spanking her.

"It's my fault really *smack* I love to spoil my baby girl *smack* and fuck if it isn't starting to show, Stevie. I mean look at this ass, it's- it's fucking obscene, Stevie *smack*. Don't think I don't see you through the order window, flirting with those letter jacket wearing neanderthal fucks. I can see them too, practically breaking their necks to check out this fat *smack* fucking *smack* ass *smack*. They don't know that it's daddy keeping you well fed, happy, curvy. So Daddy's going to need you to dial back the bitch, ok, baby girl. You understand?"

And Stevie, who's sniveling and hard and has already cum her body feels like jelly nods.

And Eddie's just like

"See, now you've gotten me all worked up, this is what you do to me baby. I'm gonna need your help."

And he spreads his legs and tugs down his boxers, hooking them under his balls, and his big donkey dick. And Stevie moves between his legs, sitting back on her knees, ass mounding behind her, she can feel Eddie digging his calves and knees into her plump, plush softness 🥵.

She sucks him off, using his hands to make up for the shortfall of her mouth. She loves sucking Eddie off because he's so vocal. He moans, groans, grunts like a pornstar, panting little "oh fuck"s and hisses tumbling past his lips. Eventually, he does take over, grabbing a fistful of her hair, thrusting into her mouth, her throat, face fucking her but still trying to be gentle. Then, yes then when he's spit slick and desperate for a last few strokes, he has Stevie press her tits around him and chases down his orgasm giving her a pearl necklace, chuckling and caressing her cheek.

"There's my princess."

[doctor-cumstains]

Drew up a quick monster girl...its been a while paint tool sai... my old friend

[tigerdrop]

hey man im mostly here for the gay men sucking and fucking but psychosis sucks and im wishing you the best from my tiny little cumstained corner. this is a horrible thing to send to someone im sorry about that

i appreciate it. it has been really fucking hard to deal with. i dont have a lot of support in "real life" right now b/c my family basically thinks im hysterical and keeps causing me insane amounts of stress, the thing that directly causes me to have psychotic episodes. i basically have no control over anything that is happening in my life right now and decisions keep being made about my life without my input and literally the tiniest shit is sufficient to send me into a rambling, unhinged panic attack anymore and i am just super not good

but i get to see a brain doctor tomorrow and maybe they will give me a xanax! i could deal with a lot of things if i had a fucking xanax

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

[bonecrusher is sleeping at the kitchen island again. he's had a couple too many cubes and the energon's all running through his systems like butter in a hot pan.]

[unfortunately, a loud thump just outside of the base wakes him with a start.]

BC: OH, FUCKING BUGGER IT ALL. WHO'S MAKING A RUCKUS OUTSIDE NOW?!

[bonecrusher slides over to the bunker door lever and rips it down, causing the door to fly open as if it weren't even there.]

BC: ANOTHER AUTOBOT, I PRESUME?

A!RJ!BC: Uh... you could say that.

[Oh great googly moogly. There's THREE of them now.]

D!BC: greetings, bonecrusher.

BC: why. am i not surprised to see two more of me. laying in the snow, dicks out, not a care in the world.

A!RJ!BC: Well, we did just get here. Could we come inside?

BC: ...i wouldn't want you freezing in the snow, would i? get in here.

[The two Altcrushers (yep.) head inside. King Bonecrusher is immediately entranced by the amount of energon in the cupboards, and A!Rockie Bonecrusher's standing near the door, reminiscing over his own base.]

[mainline bonecrusher closes the door.]

BC: getting some nostalgia from the olden days?

A!RJ!BC: It's been so long since I've last seen the base look this nice. Do you think we could bond over some stories?

BC: sure. we've got ample amounts of energon in the cupboards, and we've got eachother. what else could we really need?

D!BC: damn right. [he sits down with three cubes of energon, one for each bonecrusher.] apologies if i were too quick on the draw.

BC: no worries. not like i was doing much anyways.

A!RJ!BC: [Gazing around at everything, mostly the terminal, the cumstained couch and the ladder leading into the ventilation.] What's this ladder for again?

BC: that ladder is for the smaller folk that reside in the ventilation systems. heh. patchwork had to straighten it out because rockie kept getting her rack stuck on it when it curved towards the counter. it was pretty humorous to hear about.

D!BC: hmm... patchwork... where have i heard that name before? are they the engineer?

BC: close! patchwork's the team doctor. dude's a master at bioengineering and i love him.

A!RJ!BC: Patchwork... what a nice name. Is Patchwork a nice guy?

BC: oh, absolutely. infact, i think he's working overtime right now. let me go check on him.

[bonecrusher takes a peek into patchwork's office.]

[A!Rockie Bonecrusher takes a seat with King Bonecrusher.]

[after some back and forth with patchwork, bonecrusher takes a seat with his alternates.]

BC: patchwork's not open to seeing anyone right now, as he's heading off to sleep, but he is available in the morning.

D!BC: shame. he could've started work on helping me with my dementia early.

BC: dementia, huh? that's... a real shame. how'd you develop it?

D!BC: obsessive consumption of energon, as far as i can remember.

BC: huh... well, i don't know how to feel about that. let's all bond over stories, huh?

A!RJ!BC: Could I go first? I've got a good one!

D!BC: alright.

---

...

[roundabouts 3 hours later.]

...

---

[the bonecrushers are all having a grand old time at the kitchen table. so much so, that someone lovely's come out to check on them.]

[wearing nothing but a 'This Is What An Awesome Mom Looks Like' shirt and some form-fitting jeans... which, is unusual for a transformer, but roll with it for a minute... and rubbing her eye, rocketjumper steps outside of bonecrusher's bedroom and is pleasently surprised to find not one, but three of her loving husband... well, two and a half. A!RJ!BC only has one non-mine-claw arm, after all.]

RJ, with a very soft voice: i wasn't expecting company tonight.

BC: ah, rockie. apparently two more of me have decided to pop by unannounced. hope we didn't wake you.

RJ: no, no. t'was not you, my love, just another nightmare. [she takes a seat at the kitchen island as well.] or should i say my loves? i'm not sure.

[A!Rockie Bonecrusher is wearing a very haunting expression, watching Rocketjumper's every move out of fear of what she might do to him... and entirely forgetting that HIS (A!)Rocketjumper isn't even here.]

[king bonecrusher, on the other claw, is quite pleased to see another cybertronian that isn't him after so many hours of sitting on a throne and rusting away. he's... obviously, staring at rockie's rack. eyes are too difficult for him.]

RJ: well... glad to see that two of you are happy to see me. so how are the boys tonight?

BC: pretty good! we've been sitting out here and talking about our experiences for three hours and drinking cube after cube of energon while we were at it. you shoul... oh. blackberry, are you alright?

A!RJ!BC: [Hiding behind King Bonecrusher. Quietly whimpering to himself.]

RJ: why's...? look, hey, i know i'm a big strong lady but that doesn't mean you gotta be scared of me.

D!BC: he doesn't trust you. probably related to trauma. wonderful shirt, by the way.

RJ: why, thank you. [she gets out of her seat, and shimmies her way around the island.]

BC: y'know... that might not be the best idea.

RJ: i know how to handle a bonecrusher, babe. i live with one, remember?

BC: [/pos snort]

[rocketjumper gingerly picks up A!Rockie Bonecrusher by his armpits, and gives him a big, soft hug.]

RJ: shh. i won't hurt you, little one. you're safe here.

A!RJ!BC: [The poor bonehead can't bother to stop himself from building up tears. He hasn't been hugged, let alone positively acknowledged in milleniae, especially not from a Rocketjumper. He wraps his arm (and mine claw) around Rocketjumper in response.]

D!BC: d'aww. that's just wholesome.

BC: [has a big goofy smile plastered on his face] ,,.,.,how do i react to this?????

[rocketjumper sets A!Rockie Bonecrusher back down into his seat, and takes her own right next to him.]

RJ: right. now that we've gotten that taken care of, how many of you are tired?

D!BC: i'm feeling quite energetic. so much so that i could do my usual routine and not feel out of place.

BC: well... could use a nap. energon intake hasn't been nice to me.

RJ: i see. and uh... what did you call him? blackberry?

BC: yeah lol

RJ: oh, that's just too cute. blackberry, you wanna come sleep in boney's bedroom with me?

[Blackberry's all too eager. He's nuzzling Rockie.]

RJ: [a tired smile.] ...this is why i love you guys. so affectionate. [she picks Blackberry back up.] see you in the morning, regal boney.

D!BC: you as well.

[mainline bonecrusher follows his wife back into his room, but not before giving king bonecrusher a wave before doing so.]

[king bonecrusher waves back as mainline bonecrusher heads to his room.]

...

D!BC: now, where should i sit?

---

...

- [timejump to ~11:00 AM.] -

...

---

[last night, king bonecrusher has elected to sit in the recliner chair in the living room. he hasn't slept since.]

[Blackberry exits mainline bonecrusher's bedroom, looking white as a ghost. He takes a seat on the couch.]

A!RJ!BC: So... this is what you do on a daily basis?

D!BC: yes. i sit as still as time itself, so that i may catch any unwary trespassers offguard when i get off of my throne to kill them. i'm simply taking this time to refine my statue impression.

A!RJ!BC, jokingly: Should've known there was something boring about you.

D!BC: very funny. how are bonecrusher and rocketjumper doing?

A!RJ!BC: They sleep like the Titanic... that is, I couldn't wake them. Might as well sit out here and wait for this Patchwork fellow to appear right on time.

D!BC: fair enough. should we sit in silence or should we converse about literally nothing important?

A!RJ!BC: ...Not sure. Do you have any good topics?

D!BC: how about that war going on between ukraine and russia?

A!RJ!BC: No, no, too political. Uhh, how about... our pasts?

D!BC: much too depressing, and i don't remember mine... let's wait for patchwork.

A!RJ!BC: [Blackberry lies down on the couch.] I hope he wakes up soon.

-

- [timeskip to high noon... or in other words, 12:00 am.] -

-

[Blackberry's fast asleep, and King is counting the snowflakes on the window. Patchwork walks out of his office, grabbin' a cube of energon and taking a seat on the floor.]

PW: hey, how's it going?

D!BC: about as well as can be expected. i've been awake for about 5 years in a row as of today, and i'm feeling a bit like a fish out of water, being back in the base after so long. i barely even remember anyone.

PW: huh... oh, you're from an alternate universe! i'm guessing this guy's from an alternate universe as well.

D!BC: correct. i'm not sure how time has been to him, but i'm pretty sure it's not been particularly nice.

PW: well, he has lost an arm at some point in the past. hefty battle damage. i'm sure i could get this repaired if i had the materials.

D!BC: i know this is going to be an out of the blue question for you, sir, but... do you know how to repair dementia?

PW: ...dementia repairs... ah, i'm sure it's nothing too serious. do you remember your wife?

D!BC: i'm not even sure if i had a wife at some point. i'm sure she would've been amazing, though.

PW: that's mildly painful. physical damage, i can repair overnight. like, this one time in one of my dreams, i had to deal with bonecrusher having lost almost ALL of his frame.

D!BC: [rubbing his face:] primus.

PW: i know! i had to take 9 or so days to rebuild his frame for him, and had footmuncher watch over him. he lost all of his enthusiasm by day three.

D!BC: jee-sus.

PW: yup. one of my worst nightmares, i tell ya. [/j]

D!BC: [snort]!

PW: [giggle]. anyways, my point is: i can repair physical, but not mental. i'm sorry.

D!BC: don't worry about it.

[Blackberry wakes up from his nap.]

A!RJ!BC: Oh, hi! You seem pretty gentle.

PW: heheh. y'know, footmuncher calls me a twinkie sometimes. now i'm thinking that's why. good afternoon, one-arm fella.

A!RJ!BC: Good afternoon, yeah. You probably already know my proper name, but if you want, you can call me Blackberry. Bonecrusher and Rocketjumper already do.

PW: well, that makes things simpler. how was your last 5 years for you, blackberry?

A!RJ!BC: ...uhm. I don't want to talk about it that much... but I can tell you about my Rocketjumper. See, one day, the Autobots decided to kidnap and brainwash her. She got... pretty traumatizing.

PW: oh, i'm sorry to hear that. how'd you feel about our rocketjumper the first time you saw her?

A!RJ!BC: nearly pissed myself.

PW: alright.

D!BC: [yawn.] i wonder what other rocketjumpers there are in this universe.

PW: ooh! i can give cake a ring, if you want!

D!BC: sure.

A!RJ!BC: 'Cake'? Is Cake just a copypaste of Rocketjumper?

PW: [speeddialing cake] well, yes, but actually no. you'll see once she gets over here.

A!RJ!BC: Alrighty.

-

[pantiesst]

Doctor fah panties with her friend cumstain.

[dubblebubbletea]

Hateful capitalist bootlicker bitching under the cut b/c sometimes it gets to me

Folks bitch about landlords and that can be fair but can we talk about shitty renters for a while? I’m sick of ghetto ass people who go apartment hopping because they won’t even pay one month’s rent, have animals they aren’t supposed to that piss and shit inside because they won’t take them out even though they sit on their unemployed ass inside all day, spend their money on pot that they smoke indoors all day (even though they claim to have no rent money), invite friends to live with them during the ENTIRE DURATION of their stay because legally we can’t evict them until they’ve missed a certain number of payments they WON’T make, steal other people’s food, LEAVE USED TAMPONS ON THE FLOOR RIGHT NEXT TO THE TRASH CAN, break windows out when they fight, beat their girlfriends AND pets, punch holes in the walls, leave rotting meat on the kitchen counters, flush hair extensions down the toilet (???WHY), leave cumstains on your furniture, threaten other roommates without cause, and then call you racist when you call the cops or evict them

Like this is way beyond “they’re bad renters because they stomp around and slam doors and were late once.” These people cry because they’re going to be homeless but it’s all crocodile tears. We’re gonna put rent aside for a minute because disaster could happen to anybody, regardless of how responsible they are. If they were really so afraid of being homeless they wouldn’t be threatening their roommates, smoking weed everyday, ASKING IF YOU CAN FORGE A DOCTOR’S NOTE SO THEY CAN SKIP WORK WHEN THEY FEEL LIKE IT, and utterly trashing a house because it’s not theirs so they don’t have to care.

Go be homeless, you vagabonds. No wonder you lost custody of your kids.

P.S.: No, you can’t have your deposit back. YOU BROKE THE TOILET.

[quoth-the-corvids]

I was thinking about the emotionally abusive friendship I got away from last year and I started writing it down but it got long, so here it is under the cut. 

My abuser has been out of my life now for longer than me was ever in it. That fact makes me happy. Almost as happy as I would be finding out he was hit by a bus (I’m not malicious by nature and I don’t find pleasure in other people’s pain but I can’t see a situation where that news would not be profoundly satisfying). 

But the damage he’s done, and the damage he still does, hasn’t gone away. I don’t have anything closer than friendly acquaintances these days because I thought he was so good and so kind and I couldn’t have been more wrong. He was my best friend for a time and he hurt me so much. 

Sometimes I look around and realise how much the experience I had changed me and it makes me want to cry. I don’t like being a suspicious person. I don’t like looking for the bad in everyone. I don’t like walking around in the city I call home afraid he will be right around the corner. 

But it keeps me safe, right? I can’t trust my intuition any more. I thought I was a good judge of character but he held my hand and told me everything would be okay, he understood and he wanted me to get better when I was at my worst. When I was wary about doctors and therapists he said it was okay, I didn’t have to go. When university felt like too much he said it was okay, he would skip lectures and seminars with me. When I was scared that my depression was making me let my family down, he said it was okay because they didn’t understand but he did, that I didn’t need them. 

He said he was the only one I could talk to. I cried going home to visit my family for Christmas because he said they were bad for me and I believed him. Why wouldn’t I? He was by my side when I needed him, he looked after me. Never mind that my family is endlessly understanding (and, the case of my brother, not understanding at all but so happy to listen and google seratonin and read a million angsty facebook messages until he gets it). Never mind that my mum drove through the night across the country to see me when I was scared of how badly I wasn’t coping. Never mind that my dad has been there before and tells me things he has never said to anyone else about his breakdown after his first marriage because we understand each other and the destructive patterns in our brains are so similar. 

But Dan said they were causing more harm than good by encouraging me to live my life, go to university and not let my depression stop me when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball. In getting me out of the house (going out means having to shower and dress occasionally which I would never do otherwise), in nagging me into keeping myself going. Dan called it horrible and cruel. I let him make me fear my family. 

It still hurts me. I still think about him almost every day. I think about how angry he would get. About the lies he would tell me. I think about the day he really frightened me for the first time, when he wouldn’t let me leave and told me I was only angry with him because I was mentally ill and I needed to let him help me. (I was angry with him because he was rude and dismissive of the people around him and I was tired of his selfishness) (I was angry because he said he didn’t like me on antidepressants, he said they made me confrontational. I am only just realising that he liked me to be compliant to what he said and wanted.) 

I also think about him holding my hands and looking at me with concern when I was anxious and distancing myself. I think about him staying with me through panic attacks, checking in to see that I was okay when I zoned out, watching films with me until 2am so I wouldn’t be alone when things were bad. I think about how much he could make me laugh and how much he made me cry.

I think that’s why I can’t shake what happened. It isn’t cut and dry, I can’t just say, dude was a piece of shit, and move on. He was, I know that. He was a manipulative cumstain of a person. But for a while there, I thought he was the best person in the world and he made me feel safe from myself. I really thought he wanted me to be happy. 

What he wanted was for me to be helpless. I’m not anymore.

[doctor-cumstains]

Aahhhh, people should send me asks~