#doctor appointment is gonna be called tomorrow because this HURTS

[stealingyourbones]

did u know that there's no character limit for an ask if it's not anonymous? it just can't be over 4k characters in a block. :D

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.Ooh, black and yellow!Let's shake it up a little.Barry! Breakfast is ready!Coming!Hang on a second.Hello?Barry?Adam?Can you believe this is happening?I can't.I'll pick you up.Looking sharp.Use the stairs, Your father paid good money for those.Sorry. I'm excited.Here's the graduate.We're very proud of you, son.A perfect report card, all B's.Very proud.Ma! I got a thing going here.You got lint on your fuzz.

Ow! That's me!Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.Bye!Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!Hey, Adam.Hey, Barry.Is that fuzz gel?A little. Special day, graduation.Never thought I'd make it.Three days grade school, three days high school.Those were awkward.Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around The Hive.You did come back different.Hi, Barry. Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.Hear about Frankie?Yeah.You going to the funeral?No, I'm not going.Everybody knows, sting someone, you die.Don't waste it on a squirrel.

Such a hothead.I guess he could have just gotten out of the way.I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day.That's why we don't need vacations.Boy, quite a bit of pomp under the circumstances.Well, Adam, today we are men.We are!Bee-men.Amen!Hallelujah!Students, faculty, distinguished bees,please welcome Dean Buzzwell.Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of 9:15.That concludes our ceremonies And begins your career at Honex Industries!Will we pick our job today?I heard it's just orientation.Heads up! Here we go.

Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times.Wonder what it'll be like?A little scary.Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group.This is it!Wow.Wow.We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life.Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to The Hive.Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey!

That girl was hot.She's my cousin!She is?Yes, we're all cousins.Right. You're right.At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence.These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology.What do you think he makes?Not enough.Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman.What does that do?Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it.Saves us millions.Can anyone work on the Krelman?Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones.But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot.But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life.

The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that.What's the difference?You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years.So you'll just work us to death?We'll sure try.Wow! That blew my mind!"What's the difference?"How can you say that?One job forever?That's an insane choice to have to make.I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life.But, Adam, how could they never have told us that?Why would you question anything? We're bees.We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.You ever think maybe things work a little too well here?Like what? Give me one example.I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about.Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach.Wait a second.

Check it out.Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!Wow.I've never seen them this close.They know what it's like outside The Hive.Yeah, but some don't come back.Hey, Jocks!Hi, Jocks!You guys did great!You're monsters!You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!I wonder where they were.I don't know.Their day's not planned.Outside The Hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what.You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that.Right.Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime.It's just a status symbol.Bees make too much of it.Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it.Those ladies?Aren't they our cousins too?Distant. Distant.Look at these two.

Couple of Hive Harrys.Let's have fun with them.It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock.Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom!He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me!Oh, my!I never thought I'd knock him out.What were you doing during this?Trying to alert the authorities.I can autograph that.A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades?Yeah. Gusty.We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.Six miles, huh?Barry!A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it.Maybe I am.You are not!We're going 0900 at J-Gate.What do you think, buzzy-boy?Are you bee enough?I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means.

Hey, Honex!Dad, you surprised me.You decide what you're interested in?Well, there's a lot of choices.But you only get one.Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day?Son, let me tell you about stirring.You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around.You get yourself into a rhythm.It's a beautiful thing.You know, Dad, the more I think about it,maybe the honey field just isn't right for me.You were thinking of what, making balloon animals?That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger.Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey!

Barry, you are so funny sometimes.I'm not trying to be funny.You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer!You're gonna be a stirrer?No one's listening to me!Wait till you see the sticks I have.I could say anything right now.I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!Let's open some honey and celebrate!Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!I'm so proud.We're starting work today!Today's the day.Come on! All the good jobs will be gone.Yeah, right.Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal...Is it still available?Hang on. Two left!

One of them's yours! Congratulations!Step to the side.What'd you get?Picking crud out. Stellar!Wow!Couple of newbies?Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!Make your choice.You want to go first?No, you go.Oh, my. What's available?Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think.Any chance of getting the Krelman?Sure, you're on.I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.Wax monkey's always open.The Krelman opened up again.What happened?A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one.Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!Oh, this is so hard!Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler.

Barry, what do you think I should... Barry?Barry!All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine...What happened to you?Where are you?I'm going out.Out? Out where?Out there.Oh, no!I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life.You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?Another call coming in.If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today.Hey, guys.Look at that.Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.Really? Feeling lucky, are you?Sign here, here.

Just initial that.Thank you.OK.You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain.So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats.Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us.Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada!That's awful.And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions!

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!

Black and yellow!Hello!You ready for this, hot shot?Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.Wind, check.Antennae, check.Nectar pack, check.Wings, check.Stinger, check.Scared out of my shorts, check.OK, ladies,let's move it out!Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers!All of you, drain those flowers!Wow! I'm out!I can't believe I'm out!So blue.I feel so fast and free!Box kite!Wow!Flowers!This is Blue Leader, We have roses visual.

Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.Roses!30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.Stand to the side, kid.It's got a bit of a kick.That is one nectar collector!Ever see pollination up close?No, sir.I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one.See that? It's a little bit of magic.That's amazing. Why do we do that?That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.Cool.I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow, Could be daisies, Don't we need those?Copy that visual.Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move.Say again? You're reporting a moving flower?

Affirmative.That was on the line!This is the coolest. What is it?I don't know, but I'm loving this color.It smells good.Not like a flower, but I like it.Yeah, fuzzy.Chemical-y.Careful, guys. It's a little grabby.My sweet lord of bees!Candy-brain, get off there!Problem!Guys!This could be bad.Affirmative.Very close.Gonna hurt.Mama's little boy.You are way out of position, rookie!Coming in at you like a missile!Help me!I don't think these are flowers.Should we tell him?I think he knows.What is this?!Match point!You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it!Yowser!Gross.There's a bee in the car!Do something!I'm driving!

Hi, bee.He's back here!He's going to sting me!Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze!He blinked!Spray him, Granny!What are you doing?!Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable.I gotta get home.Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain.Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!Ken, could you close the window please?Ken, could you close the window please?Check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out.Oh, no. More humans.

I don't need this.What was that?Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes!That is diabolical.It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.What's number one? Star Wars?Nah, I don't go for that... kind of stuff.No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds.When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it.I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me.Wait! Stop! Bee!Stand back. These are winter boots.Wait!

Don't kill him!You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me!Why does his life have less value than yours?Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement?I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling.My brochure!There you go, little guy.I'm not scared of him.It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure.My whole face could puff up.Make it one of your special skills.Knocking someone out is also a special skill.Right. Bye, Vanessa.

Thanks.Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.You could put carob chips on there.Bye.Supposed to be less calories.Bye.I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something.All right, here it goes.Nah.What would I say?I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human.I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to.Oh, I can't do it. Come on!No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't.How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good.Here she comes! Speak, you fool!Hi!I'm sorry. You're talking.Yes, I know.You're talking!

I'm so sorry.No, it's OK. It's fine.I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed.Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting.This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me.And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised.That was a little weird. I'm talking with a bee.Yeah.I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me!I just want to say I'm grateful.I'll leave now.Wait! How did you learn to do that?What?The talking thing.Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey."

You pick it up.That's very funny.Yeah.Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with.Anyway... Can I... get you something?Like what?I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee?I don't want to put you out.It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.It's just coffee.I hate to impose.Don't be ridiculous!Actually, I would love a cup.Hey, you want rum cake?I shouldn't.Have some.No, I can't.Come on!I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.Where?These stripes don't help.You look great!

I don't know if you know anything about fashion.Are you all right?No.He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison.He finally gets there.He runs up the steps into the church.The wedding is on.And he says, "Watermelon?I thought you said Guatemalan.Why would I marry a watermelon?"Is that a bee joke?That's the kind of stuff we do.Yeah, different.So, what are you gonna do, Barry?About work? I don't know.I want to do my part for The Hive, but I can't do it the way they want.I know how you feel.

You do?Sure.My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.Really?My only interest is flowers.Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan.Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it?You're in Sheep Meadow!Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once.Why do girls put rings on their toes?Why not?It's like putting a hat on your knee.Maybe I'll try that.You all right, ma'am?Oh, yeah. Fine.

Just having two cups of coffee!Anyway, this has been great.Thanks for the coffee.Yeah, it's no trouble.Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life.Are you...?Can I take a piece of this with me?Sure! Here, have a crumb.Thanks!Yeah.All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not.OK, Barry.And thank you so much again... for before.Oh, that? That was nothing.Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...This can't possibly work.

He's all set to go.We may as well try it.OK, Dave, pull the chute.Sounds amazing.It was amazing!It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.Humans! I can't believe you were with humans!Giant, scary humans!What were they like?Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.They eat crazy giant things.They drive crazy.Do they try and kill you, like on TV?Some of them. But some of them don't.How'd you get back?Poodle.You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see.You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal.Well...Well?Well, I met someone.You did? Was she Bee-ish?A wasp?!

Your parents will kill you!No, no, no, not a wasp.Spider?I'm not attracted to spiders.I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face.So who is she?She's... human.No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law.Her name's Vanessa.Oh, boy.She's so nice. And she's a florist!Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!We're not dating.You're flying outside The Hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite!She saved my life! And she understands me.This is over!Eat this.This is not over! What was that?They call it a crumb.It was so stingin' stripey!And that's not what they eat.That's what falls off what they eat!You know what a Cinnabon is?No.

It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up...Sit down!...really hot!Listen to me!We are not them! We're us.There's us and there's them!Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning?There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me!You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee!Thinking bee.Thinking bee.Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!There he is. He's in the pool.You know what your problem is, Barry?I gotta start thinking bee?How much longer will this go on?It's been three days! Why aren't you working?

I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about.What life? You have no life!You have no job. You're barely a bee!Would it kill you to make a little honey?Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you.Martin, would you talk to him?Barry, I'm talking to you!You coming?Got everything?All set!Go ahead. I'll catch up.Don't be too long.Watch this!Vanessa!We're still here.I told you not to yell at him.He doesn't respond to yelling!Then why yell at me?Because you don't listen!I'm not listening to this.

Sorry, I've gotta go.Where are you going?I'm meeting a friend.A girl? Is this why you can't decide?Bye.I just hope she's Bee-ish.They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena?To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering.A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events?No. All right, I've got one.How come you don't fly everywhere?It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster.Yeah, OK, I see, I see.All right, your turn.TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane!You don't have that?We have Hivo, but it's a disease.

It's a horrible, horrible disease.Oh, my.Dumb bees!You must want to sting all those jerks.We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us.So you have to watch your temper.Very carefully.You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust.Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?Yeah.What is wrong with you?!It's a bug.He's not bothering anybody.Get out of here, you creep!What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?Yeah, it was. How did you know?It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.You've really got that down to a science.I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.I'll bet.What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this?

How did this get here? cute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select?Is he that actor?I never heard of him.Why is this here?For people. We eat it.You don't have enough food of your own?Well, yes.How do you get it?Bees make it.I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it!There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing!It's organic.It's our-ganic!It's just honey, Barry.Just what?!Bees don't know about this!

This is stealing! A lot of stealing!You've taken our homes, schools,hospitals! This is all we have!And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this.I'm getting to the bottom of all of this!Hey, Hector. You almost done?Almost.He is here. I sense it.Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around.You're busted, box boy!I knew I heard something.So you can talk!I can talk. And now you'll start talking!Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier?I don't understand.I thought we were friends.

The last thing we want to do is upset bees!You're too late! It's ours now!You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword!You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio!Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where!Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!Crazy person!What horrible thing has happened here?These faces, they never knew what hit them. And nowthey're on the road to nowhere!Just keep still.What? You're not dead?Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed?

To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here.I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off!I'm going to Tacoma.And you?He really is dead.All right.Uh-oh!What is that?!Oh, no!A wiper! Triple blade!Triple blade?Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!Why does everything haveto be so doggone clean?!How much do you people need to see?!Open your eyes!Stick your head out the window!From NPR News in Washington,I'm Carl Kasell.But don't kill no more bugs!Bee!Moose blood guy!!You hear something?Like what?Like tiny screaming.

Turn off the radio.Whassup, bee boy?Hey, Blood.Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see.Wow!I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours.Bees hang tight. We're all jammed in.It's a close community.Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own.What if you get in trouble?You a mosquito, you in trouble.

Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack!At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls.Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.You got to be kidding me!Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee!Hey, guys!Mooseblood!I knew I'd catch y'all down here.Did you bring your crazy straw?We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit.What is this place?A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead.They are pinheads!Pinhead.Check out the new smoker.Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000!Smoker?Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.

Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.They make the honey, and we make the money."They make the honey, and we make the money"?Oh, my!What's going on? Are you OK?Yeah. It doesn't last too long.Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls?Our queen was moved here. We had no choice.This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen!What is this?Oh, no!There's hundreds of them!Bee honey.Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale!This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something.Oh, Barry, stop.Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor.Do these look like rumors?

That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this?He's been talking to humans.What? Talking to humans?!He has a human girlfriend. And they make out!Make out? Barry!We do not.You wish you could.Whose side are you on?The bees!I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night.Barry, this is what you want to do with your life?I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees!Dad, I remember you coming home so overworkedyour hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop.

I remember that.What right do they have to our honey?We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!Even if it's true, what can one bee do?Sting them where it really hurts.In the face! The eye!That would hurt.No.Up the nose? That's a killer.There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters.Hive at Five, The Hive's only full-hour action news source.No more bee beards!With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi.

And Jeanette Chung.Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.And I'm Jeanette Ohung.A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally!Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon.Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.Did you ever think,

"I'm a kid from The Hive. I can't do this"?Bees have never been afraid to change the world.What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.We were thinking of stickball or candy stores.How old are you?The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century.You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too.It's a common name.

Next week...He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots...Next week...Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em.Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live.Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish.In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness!It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.Honey, her backhand's a joke!I'm not gonna take advantage of that?Quiet, please.

Actual work going on here.Is that that same bee?Yes, it is!I'm helping him sue the human race.Hello.Hello, bee.This is Ken.Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.Why does he talk again?Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working.But it's our yogurt night!Bye-bye.Why is yogurt night so difficult?!You poor thing.

You two have been at this for hours!Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help.Frosting...How many sugars?Just one. I try not to use the competition.So why are you helping me?Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now.Those are great, if you're three.And artificial flowers.Oh, those just get me psychotic!Yeah, me too.Bent stingers, pointless pollination.

Bees must hate those fake things!Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done.Maybe this could make up for it a little bit.This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.I guess.You sure you want to go through with it?Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty!It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak.What have we gotten into here, Barry?It's pretty big, isn't it?

I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day.You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers?Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade.What's the matter?I don't know, I just got a chill.Well, if it isn't the bee team.You boys work on this?All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding.All right. Case number 4475,Superior Court of New York,Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session.Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively?A privilege.Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world?I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed.Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us.If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean.I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches!Talking bee!How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry?They could be using laser beams! Robotics!

Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids!Mr. Benson?Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives.Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys!I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are!I wish he'd dress like that all the time.

So nice!Call your first witness.So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have.I suppose so.I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron!Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms.Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term.I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you?No.I couldn't hear you.No.No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey.

They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.You mean like this?Bears kill bees!How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away.So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. Where have I heard it before?I was with a band called The Police.But you've never been a police officer, have you?No, I haven't.No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name.Oh, please.

Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!That's not his real name?! You idiots!Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005.Thank you. Thank you.I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow.I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?Not yet it isn't.

But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir?Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now!This isn't a goodfella.This is a badfella!Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?!Order in this court!You're all thinking it!Order! Order, I say!Say it!Mr. Liotta, please sit down!I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side.Are we doing everything right, legally?

I'm a florist.Right. Well, here's to a great team.To a great team!Well, hello.Ken!Hello.I didn't think you were coming.No, I was just late I tried to call, but... the battery.I didn't want all this to go to waste,so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.Oh, that was lucky.There's a little left. I could heat it up.Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby.

That's where I usually sit. Right... there.Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill.You think I don't see what you're doing?I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common.Do we?Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out.That's just what I was thinking about doing.Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz.

I hope that was all right.I'm going to drain the old stinger.Yeah, you do that.Look at that.You know, I've just about had it with your little Mind Games.What's that?Italian Vogue.Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.A lot of ads.Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine?Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here!I love the smell of flowers.How do you like the smell of flames?!Not as much.Water bug! Not taking sides!Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat!This is pathetic!

I've got issues!Well, well, well, a royal flush!You're bluffing.Am I?Surf's up, dude!Poo water!That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings!Kenneth! What are you doing?!You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it!We need to talk! He's just a little bee!And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time!Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them!Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster!

Goodbye, Ken.And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man!I'm sorry about all that.I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it!I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it.Oh, well.Are you OK for the trial?I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas.We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers...Yeah.Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over.Don't worry.

The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees.You got the tweezers?Are you allergic?Only to losing, son. Only to losing.Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know.What exactly is your relationship to that woman?We're friends.Good friends?Yes.How good? Do you live together?Wait a minute... Are you her little... bedbug?I've seen a bee documentary or two.

From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children?Yeah, but...So those aren't your real parents!Oh, Barry...Yes, they are!Hold me back!You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson?He's denouncing bees!Don't y'all date your cousins?Objection!I'm going to pincushion this guy!Adam, don't! It's what he wants!Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit!Order! Order!The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see?

You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way!Adam, stay with me.I can't feel my legs.What Angel of Mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks?I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please!The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed Turn Against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery.Hey, buddy.Hey.Is there much pain?

Yeah.I... I blew the whole case, didn't I?It doesn't matter. What matters isyou're alive. You could have died.I'd be better off dead. Look at me.They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it.What was it like to sting someone?I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then...and then ecstasy!All right.You think it was all a trap?Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this.What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world.

What will the humans do to us if they win?I don't know.I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad.Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!Oh, my.Could you get a nurse to close that window?Why?The smoke.Bees don't smoke.Right. Bees don't smoke.Bees don't smoke!But some bees are smoking.That's it! That's our case!It is? It's not over?Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can.And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.Mr. Flayman.Yes? Yes, Your Honor!Where is the rest of your team?Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.

Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time.I actually heard a funny story about...Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on?They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses.I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case!Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion.But you can't! We have a terrific case.

Where is your proof?Where is the evidence?Show me the smoking gun!Hold it, Your Honor!You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun.What is that?It's a bee smoker!What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee.Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps?Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man?What are we gonna do?He's playing the species card.

Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees!Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees!

The court finds in favor of the bees!Vanessa, we won!I knew you could do it! High-five!Sorry.I'm OK! You know what this means?All the honey will finally belong to the bees.Now we won't have to work so hard all the time.This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson.You'll regret this.Barry, how much honey is out there?All right. One at a time.Barry, who are you wearing?My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.What if Montgomery's right?What do you mean?We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years.Congratulations on your victory.

What will you demand as a settlement?First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps.Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop.We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine.We're all aware of what they do in the woods.Wait for my signal. Take him out.He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine.And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames...But it's just a prance-about stage name!...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments.

Can't breathe.Bring it in, boys!Hold it right there! Good.Tap it.Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups and there's gallons more coming!I think we need to shut down!Shut down? We've never shut down.Shut down honey production!Stop making honey!Turn your key, sir!What do we do now?Cannonball!We're shutting honey production!Mission abort.Aborting pollination and nectar detail.Returning to base.Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there.

Oh, yeah?What's going on? Where is everybody?Are they out celebrating?They're home.They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in.I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket.At least we got our honey back.Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't?It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it.This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now...Now I can't.I don't understand why they're not happy.I thought their lives would be better!

They're doing nothing. It's amazing.Honey really changes people.You don't have any idea what's going on, do you?What did you want to show me?This.What happened here?That is not the half of it.Oh, no. Oh, my.They're all wilting.Doesn't look very good, does it?No.And whose fault do you think that is?You know, I'm gonna guess bees.Bees?Specifically, me.I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things.It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.That's our whole SAT test right there.Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom.And then, of course...The human species?

So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it?I know this is also partly my fault.How about a suicide pact?How do we do it?I'll sting you, you step on me.That just kills you twice.Right, right.Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going.I had to open my mouth and talk.Vanessa?Vanessa? Why are you leaving?Where are you going?To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena.They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying.It's the Last Chance I'll ever have to see it.Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.I never meant it to turn out like this.I know. Me neither.Tournament of Roses.

Roses can't do sports.Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?Roses!Vanessa!Roses?!Barry?Roses are flowers!Yes, they are.Flowers, bees, pollen!I know.That's why this is the last parade.Maybe not.Could you ask him to slow down?Could you slow down?Barry!OK, I made a huge mistake.This is a total disaster, all my fault.Yes, it kind of is.I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse.Actually, it's completely closed down.I thought maybe you were remodeling.But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined.I don't want to hear it!All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen.

I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park.All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got.Bees.Park.Pollen!Flowers.Repollination!Across the nation!Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California.They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy.Security will be tight.I have an idea.Vanessa Bloome, FTD.Official floral business. It's real.Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.Thank you. It was a gift.Once inside, we just pick the right float.How about The Princess and the Pea?I could be the princess, and you could be the pea!Yes, I got it.Where should I sit?What are you?I believe I'm the pea.The pea?It goes under the mattresses.

Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.I'm getting the marshal.You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco!Let's see what this baby'll do.Hey, what are you doing?!Then all we do is blend in with traffic... without arousing suspicion.Once at the airport, there's no stopping us.Stop! Security.You and your insect pack your float?Yes.Has it been in your possession the entire time?Would you remove your shoes?Remove your stinger.It's part of me.I know. Just having some fun.Enjoy your flight.

Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job.Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job!I think this is gonna work.It's got to work.Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay.Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it.I gotta get up there and talk to them.Be careful.Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.Captain, I'm in a real situation.What'd you say, Hal?Nothing.Bee!Don't freak out!

My entire species...What are you doing?Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!Who's an attorney?Don't move.Oh, Barry.Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry!What happened here?There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded.One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious!Is that another bee joke?No!No one's flying the plane!This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status?This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York.Where's the pilot?He's unconscious, and so is the copilot.

Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience?As a matter of fact, there is.Who's that?Barry Benson.From the honey trial?! Oh, great.Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee.It's got giant wings, huge engines.I can't fly a plane.Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?Yes.How hard could it be?Wait, Barry!We're headed into some lightning.This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing.Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory...That's Barry!...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew.

Flowers?!We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience.Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane.I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres.They've done enough damage.But isn't he your only hope?Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all.Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times?"The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."Get this on the air!Got it.Stand by.We're going live.The way we work may be a mystery to you.

Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs.But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference.More than we realized. To us, to everyone.That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O.We get behind a fellow.Black and yellow!Hello!Left, right, down, hover.Hover?Forget hover.This isn't so hard.Beep-beep! Beep-beep!Barry, what happened?!Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time.That may have been helping me.

And now we're not!So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out!Move out!Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane!Don't have to yell.I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble.It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice!It's not a tone. I'm panicking!I can't do this!Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it!You snap out of it.You snap out of it.You snap out of it!You snap out of it!You snap out of it!You snap out of it!You snap out of it!You snap out of it!

Hold it!Why? Come on, it's my turn.How is the plane flying?I don't know.Hello?Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there?The Pollen Jocks!They do get behind a fellow.Black and yellow.Hello.All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop.Where? I can't see anything. Can you?No, nothing. It's all cloudy.Come on. You got to think bee, Barry.Thinking bee.Thinking bee.Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something.What?I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.Bring the nose down.Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

What in the world is on the tarmac?Get some lights on that!Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!Vanessa, aim for the flower.OK.Cut the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys?Affirmative!Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.Land on that flower!Ready? Full reverse!Spin it around!Not that flower! The other one!Which one?That flower.I'm aiming at the flower!That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees!Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.Rotate around it.This is insane, Barry!

This's the only way I know how to fly.Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern?Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse!Just drop it. Be a part of it.Aim for the center!Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!Come on, already.Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!Yes. No high-five!Right.Barry, it worked!Did you see the giant flower?What giant flower? Where? Of courseI saw the flower! That was genius!Thank you.But we're not done yet.Listen, everyone!This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth.That means this is our Last Chance.

We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this.If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains?We're bees!Keychain!Then follow me! Except Keychain.Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this.Yeah!I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.Oh, yeah.That's our Barry.Mom! The bees are back!If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time.

I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight!Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next?Would you like some honey with that?It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel!Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat!I had no idea.Barry, I'm sorry.Have you got a moment?Would you excuse me?My mosquito associate will help you.Sorry I'm late.He's a lawyer too?I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase.Have a great afternoon!Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere.No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me.

You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next?All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly.Thank you, Barry!That bee is living my life!Let it go, Kenny.When will this nightmare end?!Let it all go.Beautiful day to fly.Sure is.Between you and me,I was dying to get out of that office.You have got to start thinking bee, my friend.Thinking bee!Me?Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it.I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Can we stop here?I'm not making a major life decision during a production number!All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys.I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

:000

Dude that’s positively incredible. What a wonderful prompt.

You can go in so many directions with this one. Like, what if the plane didn’t land properly? What if the Bees were never subjected to the smoke? What if this idea focused more on the ideals of capitalism rather than the ideals of communism.

The best prompt I’ve gotten in the entirety of my existence on tumblr. Thank you for such a wonderful ask <3

[coridallasmultipass]

Vent/personal/health/long post

Omggg so today has been so unbELIEVABLY shitty

First i wake up in pain still from my back going out on sunday when I woke up. That was expected though. My dental aligner trays hurt like a motherfucker to pull out still. Then im getting a quick breakfast together and I get a text from the clinic saying my doctors appointment i needed before tomorrow is canceled AGAIN. I had to check with the clinic and the specialist (appointment tomorrow) if its okay if I have renewed referral clinic appointment next week. So fingers crossed thats okay, because thats whats happening its not possible to see the clinic before the specialist, and ive had the specialist appointment for months, and the clinic only told me i need to renew the referral on last friday, and ive had appointments every day this week. Whatever. It is what it is.

Then im pouring cereal, drizzle a little agave on top because its unsweetened, and then immediately knock the bowl over all over my lap, sticky side down. I still cant go pick up the bits under the table now, because its killing my back to even pull the chair out, my back is in such bad shape. (Was gonna ask the clinic doctor to help out w it too but i guess im going this whole week without a treatment plan, just taking old painkillers lmao.)

Speaking of painkillers, i have one left of this bottle. I have another painkiller type, but its way too strong, and even if i cut it in half itll be too strong, but im gonna have to use that if i dont have any improvement.

So all that above was the easy peasy part of my day. Next is my appointment to renew state benefits (for food). I get EVERYTHING ready all gathered into the one spot in my room i know i can get consistent cell service, and settle down. Phone appointment time comes. I hear the landline downstairs ring. Fuck. I grab my phone and paperwork and i cant make it in time both because of my back problems and also because the landline only rings twice. I literally grabbed the phone as the case worker stopped speaking on the machine. Fuck again. I cant understand the phone number they said on the machine. It takes me a minute to realize its the same number on my paper work. I try to call but my house is a dead zone. Go back to my room, get put thru to the robot answering machine because its the general number. Not a callback number. Fuck. The robot then hangs up on me saying theres a high call volume and to call back later.

But my appointment is now! I call again and get hung up on. I call again and finally get put on hold. This is like 20 minutes after my appointment time because it takes like 7 minutes of talking to the robot to get put into a call. So im on hold, i hear the landline so i rush downstairs to try and get it again but im too late (probably a robo call, we get a lot). There was no new message, so i stay on hold, where im expecting an 80 minute wait time.

Completely fucked up process when i had an appointment scheduled! I shouldve been able to call the worker back on the available phone.

Anyway. Im dying in pain and sobbing on the phone and end up having to sit on the kitchen chair thats hard wood because i got reception in there and i wanted to be closer to the landline just in case. Im sobbing for like the first 2 hours bc of pain from exterting myself rushing around the house. I try sending off a message on the online portal. But its like 'we'll get back to you within 5 days' lol.

My battery gets low so I risk bringing my phone to my room to use the bathroom and grab a charger, take off my dental trays (more pain) so i can eat and drink something. More pain when i get back downstairs.

Im on hold for longer. So i start looking for someone higher up to pester because the whole situation is fucked. Around 3 hours on hold i send off an email to someone whos the director of that org at the county.

Its at this point i realise i might be racking up a huge phone bill, so i start telling myself 'ok sunk cost fallacy this isnt worth the wait' and i start trying to log back into the portal (which id already been doing like 20 times already this day) to request a new appointment. Then the portal keeps logging me out as soon as i log in. And i cant reset my password or do anything.

Im about to give up, going nuts after hearing the same note played over and over on the hold music. And someone fucking answers the phone.

Ho lee shit. I couldnt believe it.

A 4 hour hold that actually produced results????

Apparently all their systems are down and the worker was like 'okay yeah youre gonna be the last person i process today i am not able to access anything right now' and even had to do some stuff manually, but my case is renewed and everything should be settled now

So yeah that was over 4 hours of torture being in the uncomfortable kitchen for so long, when i WAS prepared for my appointment ahead of time. Ugh. I shouldnt have to hurt myself to get this done, but no one else was in the house to catch the landline for me, and i didnt know i could get reception in the kitchen.

(Kind of worked out tho bc i wouldve had to hang up if my doctors appointment today didnt cancel, and also i wouldve hung up if the online portal functioned)

The sad thing is im not even done. i gotta deal with another appointment tomorrow in another town. (Already had to go out of town on tuesday for the teeth aligners/tmj appliances), like the car is not comfortable for my injured back lmao

I dont think the appointment tmr is anything big its prob just a check up and to renew meds, but getting there, early in the morning, is gonna be fucking hard. I doubt this doc will do anything for my back or regular level of chronic pain, but im gonna make a big stink about it because i havent stopped being in pain for like ever, and the past month has just been so fucking hard on me with trying to help family do labor intensive stuff (which is probably why my back got fucked and gave up on sunday)

It really fucking sucks being in chronic pain and no doctors wanna do anything to treat the pain. Ive already been on every type of antidepressant and none of them helped my fibro or depression. Ive actually felt a LOT better since stopping them last winter. But im still in a lot of pain all the time. I dont wnna be like 'give me painkillers' but... give me painkillers. I was so comfortable when i was on them regularly in the past. And then the whole opioid crisis thing happened and now no one gives them to me except when i had endo flare ups (which. Lol. They barely do anything for endo pain. Which is why i was so surprised they did anything at all for my back pain when i took one on sunday!) I have always been responsible with them and always took the lowest dose (cut them in half back then) because i dont like the feeling of painkillers lololol

God tho this back pain... on sunday it was so humiliating, i kept getting stuck where i was because the pain was so bad. Even just lying flat on my back was excruciating. I was Almost at the point where i wouldve needed help to use the bathroom. Even now, while my back is much better (still terrible tho) and with painkillers, i can barely twist to grab toilet paper or reach to dry myself. It fucking sucks. Getting clothes on and off? Sucks. Especially reaching to get my feet out of pants or socks on and off.

You dont realize how much you took for granted until you struggle to do basic daily movement. I thought i was doing so well too because ive been lifting weights since februrary! Just arm workouts tho. Was doing situps until i had another endo flare up in spring. I always forget how bad severe pain situations are, either with an injury or my endo flare ups. Im living in constant fear of the next endo flare up and that sucks too. My current back problem is like, spikes of level 10 pain with movement. The endo flare ups is sustained level 10 pain. So theyre not even comparable but its still super severe.

Anyway. This has been super rough on me. Especially the added pain and overstimulation of the new back pain, and now the constant pain and headache from the teeth aligners, which is another thing im super scared about. What if it ends up making my jaw worse? What if i pull out a tooth? God just prying them off my teeth is like getting teeth pulled it hurts so much. Im like crying when i have to take the bottom one off, the hook digs into my gums and then when one side comes off its excruciatingly stuck on the other side. Literally feels like teeth being pulled. Im surprised my one crown is still in place (ive been pulling from the opposite side to try and save it). And ive already lost a bunch of the tooth spikes they added to keep the aligners in place, but the office is like a 2 hour drive away so i cant just go get the spike replaced. I dont even have a car or license i have to coordinate with family lol. And the brand is like so new theres no online discussions about it so i cant even commiserate or see how people manage to cope with this level of constant pain from the trays, pulling them out, or the extra large bite guard i cant even close my lips around at night. My teeth are so crooked i cant even tell if its in the right placement bc my teeth dont fit in the bite guard tray. So lol. Im trying.

So yeah i dont have faith in my doctors im scared starting treatment is just gonna make things worse especially because thats been the case my whole life. Ill try to get treated for something and then it reveals or causes something much worse i need to treat. But im trying. Its just hard when i have to treat so many fucking illnesses all at once, and theyre all super painful.

Im fucking tired. Want this week to be over. Want to just sleep, but i cant even do that without being in excruciating pain every time i try to move position. Life rly sucks for me rn.

So thats my vent.

Oh yeah, also dermatillomania has been severe lately too lol. So i look a mess but thankfully my lips get covered by my mask. I was so scared the tmj doc was gonna comment on it but i accidentally forgot to take my piercings out before the appointment so he ended up making conversation about those instead of the glaring wounds on my lips and fingers. (He did notice my bandaids on my fingers lol)

So yeah. Send prayers and gay vibes my way pls i rly need it. Fffff time to go cry and put my trays back in

[malienessan]

Alright, I’m about to get extremely personal.

For the past year, I’ve been going through hell.

I have lots of kids and I love them dearly. They are kind and bright and stubborn.

One of them has ADD and is autistic. He’s always been very special for me, not because of his diagnoses but because of who he is.

He’s always had a horrible temper, there have been tantrums, things have been destroyed. We’ve tried medicating with various success rates.

About a year ago he started changing. He became more aggressive, almost abusive. He started destroying things at an alarming rate and he started hitting me.

Now, you’d think that in a country like Sweden, where it’s well known that we have protective structures in our society, that you would get help if your adult child hits you.

Well, it’s not that simple.

In Sweden, youths go to school until they’re 19, and then they’re off to college or start working. They become legal adults at 18.

As long as they’re still in school, the parents are responsible for them, even if they’re legal adults. And it doesn’t matter how often your kid hits you, if he’s a legal adult, he must apply for help himself. And since he’s in school, you can’t throw him out.

A year, of this. With the only option to call the police and have him thrown in jail. Except that he hasn’t been violent enough, the police will come and then they will leave, cause it’s just a bruise or he’s just head butted you, he hasn’t really hurt you.

And as a mother, you don’t feel like he should be in jail, because he’s actually not bad, he’s just troubled.

On top of all this, you try to get psychiatric help for him, and it takes 8 months to get an appointment with a doctor who actually helps your kid.

Turns out that when you start medicating the kid for being bipolar and also give him sedatives in the evenings, life gets manageable.

Now you only have to be vigilant all day, cause anything might set him off, he might smash a window or destroy his phone or the door to his room, but at least you don’t get hit anymore.

And then, finally, by the time he’s finished with the school, the county finds a place for him to live, and he’ll be moving out.

I love my kid. He’s wonderful, when he’s not angry. And I try not to blame him for the shit he’s put us through. But I’m very happy that he’s moving out.

I’m gonna miss him, but we’ll still see each other. And now I can focus on being a less tired, less sad mama. Now I can be happy about being alive, instead of begging for this whole life to just end.

Tomorrow I’m driving him to his new place. I’ll probably cry, but I can’t even imagine the relief the whole family will feel.

If you’ve read this far, I’m so sorry for wasting your time. I needed to get this off my chest.

Also, I love you for reading. ❤️

[idiotvision]

uhggg I have to make an appointment tomorrow so can see a doctor or dentist or something to start sorting out my teeth and sinus issues but I hate phone calls and I know I'm not gonna be able to sleep tonight either because my everything hurts like hell, why is being alive so tedious and painful sometimes

[madmaryholiday]

i really thought i was gonna get a call today from whoever it is that handles worker's comp for my employer, but nope.

i have an appointment scheduled with my regular doctor on thursday and am on a waiting list to see if anything earlier opens up, because the ER doc only said i needed to stay home through wednesday, and i could only get an appointment right in the middle of my shift.

i called in to the attendance line this morning, and i'll be calling in again tomorrow. not sure if i have to email HR, but i'll probably be doing that tonight anyway.

honestly the thing bugging me the most is my right arm, which definitely has some kind of strain/sprain/pulled muscle on the top of my forearm. i can at least open doorknobs easily again, but anything that requires a twist of my wrist and/or having to exert any kind of force with my right arm (tearing open a plastic packet of noodles, for example) has a 50/50 shot of causing serious pain. also of just...not working. this is extremely annoying because i can't lift anything heavier than like a 16oz bottle of water, and my job requires me to lift many, many things heavier than that. and to open and close packaging. and to stand, but tbh it always hurt to stand for long, so there's nothing too new there.

my parents are worried about me staying home so long, of course, because they always worry about that shit. meanwhile i'm just too existentially tired to care much beyond wondering how many "points" i'll accrue under the new attendance system and whether i'll actually qualify for worker's comp as a part-time employee.

god i wish things would just stop happening so much. i need to catch my goddamn breath.

[brokenbutunbowed]

I'm officially being hired on at work (had to get into this place via temp agency) and it comes with an almost 3.50/hour raise. Unfortunately it means moving to 3rd shift for who knows how long, but I'm hoping I'll be able to worm my way back on first by this time next year. Large majority of first shift is almost-old-enough-to-retire peeps, so it's really just a waiting game. This isn't a job I'm passionate about, or find fulfillment in, but it's incredibly easier than any job I've ever had, and once I get that raise, the best paying.

I start 3rds on Monday (well, Sunday at 11pm) and was gonna use this weekend to flip my sleep schedule. I found out last minute this morning they're forcing me to work 1st shift tomorrow (we don't usually work weekends) and it's ruined my whole sleeping plan. They're supposed to announce weekend overtime by Wednesday, and overtime isn't generally mandatory for temps, only voluntary, so I'm honestly pissed. Won't even be getting paid ot because we had Monday off. So I don't even get a real day off and I have to figure out how to flip my sleep in one day instead of two.

I am pretty excited to finally have health insurance that I can use for the first time since I aged off my mom's health insurance two years ago. I'm sure I'll never fucking use it anyway because doctors suck and adhd makes appointments hard, but ya know...

My goal for this year is to finish paying off enough of our house to make the stupid PMI go away, so we no longer have to piss away an extra $200 per month for "insurance" that literally does fuck-all. I'm not sure if it's technically possible to do that in one more year, but it'll be fucking close.

After that's gone, I'll feel a lot less guilty about throwing more money into hobby related stuff. Gotta finish overhauling the basement room, tear down and reinstall new wood panels in the wall that got damaged, I wanna repaint the floor and possibly walls, a drop ceiling would be a dream (or whatever ceiling it would be called that covers up the beams and pipes and whatever). It's going to become my snake room when it's ready, which is going to be a fucking expensive multi year project considering I'm going all pvc enclosures, bioactive, halogens, uvbs, etc for every snake. I keep accidentally adding more snakes to my wishlist and it's become silly. But hey, something to dream about, right? Moving the snakes downstairs will give me more room in the current tarantula-gecko-snake room for other stuff, too, like expanding into some new gecko/lizard species and diving back into tarantulas more. Losing Xerxes two years ago hurt so bad it was hard to feel passionate about my Ts for a long time, but I can feel the joy coming back now more and more every time I'm with them.

Which reminds me, tomorrow is feeding night for the sneks and gecks.

I probably should be asleep, but my original plan was to stay up tonight as long as I possibly could to try and get ready for my new schedule, and my stubborn brain doesn't wanna shut off.

[youremyonlyhope]

Apparently chewing gum helps relieve pain from earaches/ear infections. Don’t know why but I can confirm it works and I might be able to sleep now yay.

[tendouluvr]

not telling them you’re pregnant - f!reader

- fluff, sliiiight angst maybe

- characters: suna, sakusa, semi

- warnings: pregnancy (i don’t go into detail of giving birth or anything), cravings, morning sickness aka throwing up, two mention of the act of sex in semi’s, some cursing

- wc: 1.4k, 888, 946

a/n: it’s f!reader cuz pregnancy but there’s no specific pronouns/gendered terms used

also idk how suna got so long, he was the last one i wrote for bc i couldnt think of anything lmao

[2. iwaizumi, atsumu, kageyama]

SUNA

#! suna has been practicing late into the night the past few weeks

#! there’s a big game coming up and the entire team is feeling the pressure and adrenaline from the crunch time

#! you haven’t been feeling too good lately, a lot heavier and more tired than usual

#! thinking it was just stress from work and the missing presence of your boyfriend, you pushed through it and thought it would go away in the next few days

#! unfortunately, luck wasn’t on your side and you started to get sudden needs to throw up

#! it didn’t take you long to realize why your physical and mental drive have been down lately

#! you’re pregnant

#! or you believe you are

#! you bought a few tests, some of different brands so you can have a variety, and headed home to confirm your suspicion

#! a few minutes later, staring back at you was multiple positive symbols and the bolded ‘PREGNANT’s

#! taking a few deep breaths, you decided to tell suna tonight once he comes home

#! you thought it was better to let him know as soon as possible

#! it wouldn’t hurt anyone plus the faster you rip the bandaid off, the easier it’ll be to deal with it

#! so you waited

#! and waited

#! until 11pm that night, when suna finally came through the front door

#! “tarō! how was practice? can we talk?” you hurriedly greeted him

#! he was taken aback, not expecting you to be right beside him and in his ear as soon as he came in

#! of course you weren’t, you made sure to put some space in between you and him

#! but suna was stressed and tired, so everything is intensified to him at the moment

#! “can you back up?” he mumbled, pushing his way from in front of you to walk to the kitchen

#! “oh, sorry. can we talk?” you sheepishly smiled, hoping he would say yes

#! you’re not blind, you can tell that suna was tired but you really didn’t wanna put this off

#! you were just gonna tell him, he gets surprised, you both talk it out, and then go to bed and continue figuring things out tomorrow morning

#! but before any of that can happen, suna bluntly told you, “no. i’m tired. i’m sure whatever it is isn’t a big deal. can it be tomorrow? i wanna sleep.”

#! you didn’t get to answer before he was already walking away to the bedroom

#! understanding where he was coming from, you mentally agreed to talk to him tomorrow. one day wouldn’t change anything and you’ve seen plenty of people not tell their partners until a few weeks in

#! he was right, it wasn’t a big deal (yet)

#! so you waited until tomorrow

#! and waited

#! and once again, he came home late

#! “hey! can we quickly talk, babe?”

#! “i’m tired. tomorrow, okay?”

#! “oh, okay. night, rin!”

#! “g’night.”

#! night came and there was still no talk

#! this continued on for about 2 weeks, you finally choosing to not care anymore and just let him find out whenever he finds out

#! technically, you could’ve just blurted out a simple, “i’m pregnant.” any point during your nightly five seconds conversations

#! but seeing that he really was tired, springing it onto him would either put him in a full body shock for three days or he just doesn’t fully process your words until three days after

#! a month has passed, your stomach was still barely showing like most women at their one month mark

#! you decided to book an appointment for a checkup, it’ll be while suna’s at practice

#! and that doctor appointment was the exact reason suna found out

#! he was at practice when komori entered the gym

#! he had a doctor’s appointment for his annual checkup, and that’s where he saw you

#! you didn’t see komori, busy reading the directory to find your way to the right office

#! but he saw you on the way out. seeing that you looked a bit busy, he chose not to greet you and just quickly walk to his car lmao why is this funny to me

#! entering the gym, he greeted everyone and apologized for his tardiness even though it was excused

#! walking up to suna, he tapped him on the shoulder and quietly told him, “i saw yn at the hospital earlier. it’s been awhile since we all got together huh, they looked a bit different.”

#! ok so komori, being the smart person he is, deducted that you were pregnant when he saw your finger pointing at the ob/gyn office

#! and he genuinely thought suna knew so his comment was suppose to be a small joke that was meant to tease suna and his sex life

#! suna, however, was confused

#! look different? did you get surgery?

#! “what do you mean?”

#! komori rolled his eyes and gave a sweet smile at suna, “congrats you two! when were you gonna tell the rest of us?”

#! suna: 👨‍🦲 huh

#! “are you guys not pregnant?” he blinked at suna’s frozen reaction

#! suna became unresponsive so komori just walked away mumbling to himself about being sure he read the sign right

#! a loud whistle blew and it shook suna out of his daze, everyone got ready to play a practice game of 3 vs 3 while suna ran over to the coach

#! “hey coach, um i think there’s an emergency at home. can i go? ok thanks.”

#! his coach just stares after him as he sprints off, you think? is there an emergency or not?

#! suna quickly drove home, he may or may not have speed a little, and entered the apartment

#! “yn? baby?” he called out only to be greeted back with silence

#! probably still at the hospital....what were you doing there? he thought to himself while rummaging around the house to find anything that could give him somewhat of an idea

#! he was digging around in the bedroom when you came home, his head so frenzied he didn’t hear the front door open

#! but you heard the ruckus from the bedroom and immediately went into fight or flight

#! panicking, you took out your phone to call suna while quietly opening the front door to make your way back out before the intruder catches you

#! the phone rang and rang until it was picked up. “suna?” you whisper-yelled into the speaker. you had a habit of calling him by his last name when you were freaking out. he noticed and was equally alarmed

#! “what’s wrong?” he whispered back just as panicked

#! “there’s someone in our apartment. can you come home?”

#! “huh? oh, are you home?” he cackles into the phone speaker making you move the phone away from your ear, “it’s me, sweets, c’mere.”

#! you warily walked on your tiptoes over to your bedroom, peeking your head in and what a surprise, it is suna

#! “jackass! why are you home?!”

#! “why didn’t you tell me?” he cut straight to the point

#! “huh?”

#! “you’re pregnant. when were you gonna tell me?” his voice sounding stern, but the quiet smile dancing on his face tells a different story

#! “i tried.”

#! “huh? what do you mean?”

#! “all those times i asked if we could talk. i was trying to tell you.”

#! his heart dropped, eyebrows furrowing, while he stared you down

#! suna became unresponsive once again, standing there trying to think back to the first time you asked him

#! two weeks ago

#! “i’m sorry,” he quietly whispers

#! “hm? i..it’s fine....i was a bit sad, but i’m over it. at least you know now,” you casually shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal

#! “no. i shouldn’t have pushed you aside like that. even if you weren’t pregnant, even if you had just wanted to tell me about some stupid video you saw that day, i shouldn’t have told you off. i’m sorry, i love you a lot and you deserve so much better.”

#! “tarō, shut up. i accept your apology and i forgive you, now make it up to me by giving me a back massage while i show you the ultrasound pictures!”

#! he kisses you before lifting you up bridal style making his way to the bed

SAKUSA

#! contrary to popular beliefs, sakusa is not an obsessive germaphobe who finds everything disgusting but you

#! he wouldn’t be playing volleyball if he was that afraid of germs,,,,,

#! yes, he cringes if random little kids grab onto him after games because 1) he’s drenched in sweat and that feeling is not fun

#! 2) he doesn’t even know themmm

#! and 3) he wanna go home

#! but sakusa loves you and if you happened to get pregnant, he would love your kid(s) just the same

#! however, he never told you this. he never really had a reason to voice this out loud

#! so when you actually did get pregnant, you were confused

#! the only interactions between sakusa and kids you’ve seen multiple times were the moments between him and his fans

#! you guys have been to family parties and his nieces, nephews, and cousins looooves him

#! maybe it’s the fact that he’s a tall looming giant and they just want to climb

#! but besides those moments, you don’t recall him ever telling you upfront that he wants children of his own

#! and the constant stress and pressure he always seem to be working around also doesn’t help reassure you in any way

#! being an athlete for a living means always watching your body, health, and looks for the cameras (but omi could care less about the last thing)

#! he also has to make sure whether or not he’s working well with his teammates, practice and improve on anything he’s having problems with, and deal with atsumu’s dramatic ass

#! you’re an overthinker and because of that, all of these reasons were just reasons for you to postpone the pregnancy news to your long term boyfriend

#! it wasn’t too hard anyway, considering practice runs late sometimes and he’s busy majority of the time doing other stuff

#! when you guys do have alone time together, you both are so focused on one another that you actually forget that you’re pregnant and you never told him

#! you’re about to hit the three months mark now — time goes by fast — and sakusa has noticed you and your body changing

#! at first he just thought you were going through a phase of cravings and a bit of bloating, so he didn’t mention it and just let you be

#! he never got to witness you getting morning sickness because he goes on early runs or he was just out doing morning errands so he wouldn’t have to deal with it later that day

#! so when he caught you in the kitchen cutting up a lemon, the last thing he was expecting you to do was bring the lemon directly up to your mouth

#! “uh, what are you doing?” his deep voice caught you off guard, effectively stopping the hand that was holding the lemon

#! you just stare at him, not wide-eyed, not surprised, just stare

#! “eating a lemon.”

#! “i can see that.... why exactly?”

#! “dunno, the baby i guess.” you casually shrugged it off before popping the lemon slice into your mouth

#! “ah-,” he opened his mouth to stop you from eating the lemon, your words not fully processing in his mind, but cut off midway and froze when he finally realized

#! hearing him pause like that made you suddenly remembered that you never told him you were pregnant

#! you slowly turned back to look at him, mouth still slowly chewing the lemon slices

#! a moment of silence later, he unfreezes and just starts stiffly walking towards you

#! he grabbed you by the shoulders, made you look him in the eyes, before whispering, “you’re pregnant?!”

#! “y-yes..”

#! his eyes were wide, black pupils expanding as he stared you down, his lips slowly curving into a small smile

#! “you’re pregnant....,” he whispers, mainly to himself, hugging your head into his chest

#! “mhm, get off me i’m trying to eat,” you gently pushed him off but he wouldn’t budge

#! “omiiii please, if you get off i’ll give you a slice,” you tried bribing him. he couldn’t tell if you were being serious or just teasing

#! “no.”

#! “um ok, two slices?”

#! “no.”

#! “omi!”

#! he giggles before opening his arms to let you go

#! “why didn’t you tell me?”

#! you didn’t reply right away, making him start to overthink

#! did you not want the baby? or did you not want a kid with him? did you not want to be with him anymore? or was it not his?!

#! he childishly shakes his head side to side at the last question. he knew you wouldn’t do that

#! but you were still silent, making him nervously glance at you from the side

#! “sorry, piece of lemon stuck in my teeth. i just forgot to tell you,” the words easily flowing out of your mouth nonchalantly

#! sakusa’s fingers were literally about to start twitching from anxiousness beside you

#! a sigh of relief was heard from him and you turned to look at him

#! “you okay?”

#! he doesn’t answer, just gives you a smile and goes back to hugging you from behind

SEMI

#! you were currently sitting on the couch in your shared apartment waiting for semi to come home

#! he’s been on tour for a few months now, you both kept in touch by facetiming, texting, calling, and any other methods of virtual communication

#! you would tune into the live recording of all of his performances when you had time so you could watch him

#! a few weeks into tour, you suddenly felt different than usual but shook it off as nothing and probably just you missing your boyfriend

#! you believed that until one morning you were woken up by the sudden urge to throw up, dashing to the restroom as fast as your drowsy body can go

#! it was then that you realized you might be pregnant

#! the night before semi left, you both had sex to enjoy your last few hours together before he had to leave for a few months

#! with the new realization, you quickly dressed yourself to make a short trip to the store to pick up some tests

#! after half an hour of looking at yourself in the mirror, trying to wrap your head around this, you finally opened the first box

#! a few minutes later, all 5 tests were lined up on the bathroom counter showing positive

#! you stared at the tests, trying to make sure you weren’t reading it wrong

#! once you began to understand the responsibility of being pregnant a few hours later, you made a mental note to go out and buy some food for yourself the next day

#! you decided to sleep off the rest of that day

#! through all of the facetime calls with semi, you never once told him you were pregnant

#! you knew that if you told him he would freak out and either demand to go back home, or stay but all of his attention would be on you being pregnant alone at home for the rest of the tour

#! so here you are now, sitting with a 4 1/2 months baby bump waiting for your beloved to come home

#! it was around 6pm when the front door opened, sounds of shuffling bags and heavy steps could be heard from the musician

#! he cursed under his breath when he almost tripped over a duffle bag with some of his loungewear, calling out for you as he walks further into the apartment, “baby? i’m home!”

#! he was about to speak up again when he saw you asleep on the couch

#! bouncing his way over, he got onto his knees at the edge of the couch to observe your face. god i miss you, he thought to himself

#! he gently shakes you awake, you jolted in surprise not knowing you fell asleep in the first place

#! “hmm- what?,” soft murmurs falling from your lips as you adjusted your eyes at your surrounding

#! “eita!” he grinned at you, both of you pulling each other into a hug

#! “fuck, i miss you so much.” he whispered into your ears before placing his face into your neck

#! “i miss you more.” you tightened your grip around him making him move up on the couch to get more comfortable

#! you both moved around until he had you cradled in between him, your back against his chest

#! his hands going under your his shirt to caress you there when his movements stopped right on top of your stomach

#! it was silent as his warm hands rubbed your stomach in circles, the gears turning in his head

#! “are you- you feel- why’s your tum so round and hard?” he quizzically asked, still rubbing your stomach

#! “pregnant.” your voice a low whisper, he almost didn’t catch it

#! “what?”

#! “pregnant.” you repeated, a bit louder this time

#! “huh?”

#! “pregnant!” you sighed, moving his hand so you can get off of him

#! he grabs your wrist to stop you from walking away and turns you to look at him

#! “you’re pregnant?!”

#! “i just said that. yes.”

#! you knew you sounded blunt and a bit mean, it wasn’t his fault he doesn’t know at all, but your hormones have been making you crankier and it’s out of your control

#! “sorry. yes, i’m pregnant.”

#! his eyes continuously darts up and down from your eyes to your bump

#! “how long?”

#! “since you left.”

#! “was it the night before?” he was referring to your act of intimacy the night before he left

#! “yea.”

#! “wow. why didn’t you tell me?”

#! “because.”

#! “‘cuz what?”

#! “because i know you. you would either stop touring and come home, or stay but lose focus. i was just trying to not distract you because i know how important your career is to you. and because i thought that you’ll be having a six months break after this tour before your next comeback, i would tell you when you came home. i’m sorry if you’re ma-,”

#! “i’m not mad. oh don’t cry, babe, look at me.”he carefully cups your face, “it’s okay, it’s okay. i get why you kept it from me. and now that i have no schedule for the next six months, i can be there for you until the end of your pregnancy and the beginning of our baby’s life alright?”

#! you weakly nodded against his palms, and he brings you back down to lay your head on his chest as you both softly talk about the past months without each other

[fightxxmexxshiggy]

HOT DAY AND A TIRED MAN

This fic is dedicated to @lovelyladyraven for being my first ever paid commission.

Shouta Aizawa x fem reader

Tw:dangerous situation, breeding, OVERSTIMULATION

Word count: 3.5k

This was not how you had planned to spend your day. Your boss had decided that the roof needed to be cleaned on the second hottest day this summer! Of course you were the only one who had just finished up their task so he sent you to do it by yourself with a promise of sending the next available person up to switch with you soon. Instead you had spent two hours cleaning up dirt and shining the vents on a roof that no one but maintenance workers ever set foot on! Once you had seen how much time had passed you went to the door with every intention of stomping down the stairs and clocking out, not willing to do overtime just to clean a roof. But the knob wouldn't turn no matter how hard you pulled. You banged on the door a few times only to realize that one of the idiots that you work with had locked the door. Quickly you took out your phone and called the store phone no answer, then your boss's phone no answer, then you called the two other coworkers who had been working with you today. Not a single person answered you! You went over to the side of the building that looked over the parking lot seeing that all their cars were already gone from their usual spots. The bastards had left for the day and left you locked on the roof with no way to go home or even get water. You tried for another 30 minutes to reach your boss and coworkers only for them to start rejecting your calls. They did this on purpose. You went and sat in the shade of the roof door access and took a few calming breaths. You knew that they weren't going to come back until tomorrow and you also knew that they probably expected you to sit up here and cry waiting till morning for them to come and "save" you. So instead you looked up the number for the local fire department. Once someone picked up you heard a deep gravelly voice through the speaker. 

"Fire station 6 what can I help you with?" 

The man seemed tired and kind of put out but instead of apologizing for bothering him like your brain was screaming at you to do, you cleared your throat and spoke. You gave him a detailed rundown of your situation and explained that you would have called the emergency line first except your boss's wife worked the police directory and if he was locking you on the roof like this you were afraid that his wife would just not send anyone to help you. It was a small town and things like that were constantly looked over as long as you knew the right people. He hummed in agreement.

" That's sad but true. I know your boss and his wife well enough that you're probably 100 percent right about what they would do and how they would cover this up. They've done it before. Me and a few guys will be there in about 20 minutes to come get you down. Just keep calm and do your best to stay out of the sun until then we don't need you getting any more dehydrated than you already are."

He gave a quick goodbye and hung up. You breathed a sigh of relief knowing that you had chosen correctly when you called the fire station. You sat in the shade and tried to put a face to the voice of the tired firefighter who would be coming to free you from your rooftop prison. Like a fool you had never asked his name. As you thought about it you started to get a bit lightheaded. It had definitely been too long since you had any water. The heat was starting to get to you now that your adrenaline had stopped pumping so hard. With nothing else to do you layed down as much in the shade as you could and did a breathing exercise. During your exercise you must have blacked out because the next thing you knew you were being carried down the stairs in a set of strong arms. 

The person carrying you was speaking to you but you couldn't make out what they were saying over the fog that was covering your brain. You knew the sound of that voice though. It was the tired firefighter but he sounded a whole lot less tired and a whole lot more angry. You really hoped he wasn't angry at you. Maybe you were too heavy and he was annoyed at having to lug you down the stairs. With a weak hand you reached up maybe to apologize somehow, but ended up cupping his cheek. His stubble felt funny in your already funny feeling hand. He stopped walking at the feeling of your hand on his face. You still couldn't open your eyes so instead you mumbled a garbled sorry and proceeded to pass back out going limp. The last thing you heard was the tired firefighter yelling at someone, maybe you?

You woke up again this time to the feeling of something plastic on your face. Opening your eyes was still a bit too much for you so you listened and tried to figure out what was going on. You vaguely remember the tired voice you had spoken to before you felt light headed and the feeling of being carried. As you listened you could make out the sounds of machines. Slowly you took stock of your body. You were sore and kinda warm but you could move a little bit. You breathed deeply, finally realizing that the plastic was an oxygen tube. You were definitely in the hospital then. After a few more minutes your eyes were in good enough condition that you opened them to look around the room. When you did you saw someone slumped in the chair in the corner. This was incredibly strange since you had no family in this town. Doing your best you cleared your throat preparing to ask who they were. At your sound the person's head shot up, eyes wide. 

It was a man with tired eyes and long black hair that was on the scruffy side; it easily matched the stubble of a beard on his chin and cheeks. He stood up definitely tall enough to tower over you even when you were standing up yourself. The man walked to your bedside and took a deep breath before speaking. 

"It's good to see you awake little one. I was beginning to think you weren't going to wake up. I'm the firefighter you spoke to asking for help when you were on the roof. I have a lot to explain to you but I'm gonna call the doctor in and have them look you over before anything else."

He called out into the hall after that and a doctor and a nurse bustled into the room within minutes. Your throat was too dry to answer their questions so you stuck to little nods and head shakes as they began to check your vitals and adjust your iv drip. Once they were sure you were stable enough you were once again left with your savior and no voice to thank him with. He came closer and pulled the chair along with him to settle in for your conversation. 

"So you've been out of it for about 3 days. You got sunstroke while you were on the roof and your boss had double locked the door to get in and the door to the roof which slowed us down in getting to you. Your boss and his wife and your 2 coworkers have all been arrested. It was your boss's idea though apparently he kept hitting on you but you didn't give him the time of day so he wanted to teach you a lesson. His wife had your name flagged so that if you had called for help it would have given a dispatcher a notification to ignore you as a false reporter. His wife found out about his interest in you and was planning on making sure you were stuck on that roof all night. Your coworkers just went along with it because they didn't want to deal with your boss's anger."

Hearing all this pissed you off beyond belief. They could have killed you all because you would be a man's mistress and the man's wife would rather hurt someone than confront her husband. He looked at your face and patted your knee knowing there was nothing he could say that would make you feel any better about this. You looked up at him and grabbed his hand and brought it to your forehead, touching his knuckles there before placing a kiss on them. You were kind of happy that you couldn't really talk just yet because the blush on this man's cheeks was well worth the dry throat. He poured you a cup of water and handed it to you. You gave him a small smile and drank it gratefully. 

Eventually you could speak some and the two of you formally introduced yourselves. He was Shouta Aizawa, the fire station chief and local fire safety instructor for this area. He hadn't felt right leaving you alone after he had gotten you off the roof and found that you lived alone in this town. He came off very blunt and serious but you could see his deep kindness in his actions. The doctors came back in, cutting your conversation short and making Shouta go back to his spot in the corner. After a few more checks the doctors cleared you to go home the following day as long as you had someone to watch over you for the next three days till your follow up appointment was. You frowned cause you did have any close friends who could do that for you. As you pondered over it you heard Shouta's voice over the doctor's. 

"If you don't have a problem I can have you stay over in the guestroom at my house. I was already on a temp leave due to watching over you here so it wouldn't be much different with you at my house."

This man with a deep whiskey voice truly had a heart of gold. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth you readily agreed. After you had been up a few more hours and had a little bit to eat, Shouta left with the promise of a freshly cleaned room waiting for you tomorrow. You fell asleep that night feeling more cared for than you ever truly had. You woke up again slightly disoriented and thirsty but in much better condition than you had been the day prior. It was early so you took your time shaking the numbness out of your limbs and getting back your bearings. The nurse came in fussing about you standing with calling anyone to be a catcher for you. She stopped fussing though when she realized that you were indeed stable enough to walk to the bathroom alone. 

Shouta had called the nurses station around 10 to let them know he'd be there by 12. With a few puppy dog looks you had a shower chair and an orderly who helped wash your hair and walk you back to bed. They had given you some hospital pajamas that you happily wore instead of the ugly gowns you had woken up in. You were clean and relaxed by the time Shouta had arrived to sign you out of the hospital. A nurse came around with a wheelchair and wheeled you down to the exit while the car was brought around. Shouta opened the door for the backseat but instead of giving you a hand to climb in he leaned down and scooped you out of the chair. Once you had been sat comfortably on the seat he shut the door leaving you with a moment to appreciate just how strong his arms were.

The drive to Shouta's home was relatively quick as is the way of small towns. His house was nice and seemed to be a cozy ranch style. After pulling into the garage you tried to get out yourself only to be caught up against a hard chest as your legs gave out the moment they were made to take your full weight. You looked up to see an exasperated glare. Part of your brain filled with chastised thoughts as the other filled with dirty thoughts. You really had to be better behaved when It came to your savior and benefactor but with him being so sinfully attractive it was kinda hard to do. Once again you were carried by the tired man this time into his home and deposited on the lone couch in his living room. He sat on his coffee table and faced you with a sigh. 

"You're really gonna have to rely on me for a few days brat. Your body is trying to heal and you pushing it as you just did isn't doing the process any favors."

You sighed and agreed with him. After a short conversation about a few things you might need from the store and checking about any food allergies he got ready and  headed to the store. You sat alone watching tv before clicking into his YouTube app to see what he watched most. A loud laugh burst from your chest as you realized that most of his watch history was full of cat videos and a few interviews with a local late night radio host. You watched the radio hosts videos thoroughly entertained by his boisterous personality. The next thing you knew you were being shaken awake by Shouta having fallen asleep with videos still playing on the tv. He helped you up and walked you to the bathroom and waited outside before scooping you up yet again. He was making it so damn hard not to think dirty thoughts when he kept carrying you around as if you were a small animal or something. Like sir the butterflies are in the stomach now but they will quickly fly south if you keep being so quietly sexy. A few hours later you were lying in bed when your thoughts finally got the best of you and had you touching your pussy as images of Shouta glaring down at you with his arms crossed showed behind your eyelids.

You had no idea how loud you were being as you rubbed your clit harshly, trying to get to the finish line. As you came you choked out his name. While you panted and came down from your high Shouta made his way back to his room quietly. He leaned back against his door and made a call before laying in his bed to jerk his very hard, very neglected cock. His brain kept replaying the sounds you made, the way you choked out his name as you came, how a satisfied little smile curled on your lips after you reached the finish line. He came with a growl, satisfied but not. He was definitely going to end up in trouble by the end of the week and he couldn't find it in himself to care. The following two days followed the same pattern, spending the day together and spending the night getting off to thoughts of the other in separate rooms. Though you were surprised to find that Shouta regularly walked around the house in nothing but sweatpants holding a full mug of coffee. On the fourth day you had become well enough to no longer need to be carried or walked everywhere. You were a little confused by Shouta's attitude as he had been glaring at the space above your head for most of the day. Finally tired of him doing this, you confronted him about it. You were not expecting his answer in the slightest. 

"I've spent the last three nights hearing you play with your pussy while calling my name, I'm hard enough to hammer nails and I can't get out any over this energy cause I'm supposed to be watching out for you. All I wanna do is fuck you till you lose your mind. me glaring above your head has been me doing my best not to seduce you like an asshole."

He said everything in such a deadpan manner that you couldn't help but laugh. Once you caught your breath you grinned at him and pulled your shirt off over your head. Sitting on his couch with your tits hanging free and your nipples hardening in the cool air you proceeded to play with them. You were immediately picked up and taken to his room before being dropped on the bed. Never let it be said that the tired man couldn't move fast as you were stripped of your remaining clothes before he stripped himself bare. He pulled you to the edge of his bed by your ankles and dropped to his knees, a fierce smile on his lips. 

"Been wanting to taste this bratty pussy for days. Bet it's as sweet as it looks."

His first lick was long. From your hole all the way over your clit. The squeak you let out at the feeling only made him more hungry. He spent what felt like an endless amount of time licking and thrusting his tongue as deep into your pussy as he could. By the time he finally gave your clit some much needed attention his chin was covered in pussy juice and your hole was fluttering as if it was seeking to be filled. Shouta teased you with a few small licks over your clit, making you whine and beg him to give you more. His arms wrapped around your thighs as he locked eyes with you and sucked your clit into his mouth. He sucked hard making you scream and thrash wildly. Your hands were buried in his hair as you squirted into his mouth. Your hips only stayed on the bed because of his strong arms keeping you in place. When he finally released your clit pussy juice was steadily leaking from your still twitching hole. 

"Oh did I break you already? You were so bold before and now you're just a mess. Think you can take my cock or do you want me to tuck you in for a nap."

The shit eating grin on his face was enough for you to pull his hair and glare at him. He sat up and shoved your wrists above your head to hold in one of his large hands. Slowly he worked his fat dripping cock into your almost too tight pussy. You whined and moaned his name as he finally bottomed out hitting your back wall. He stretched you more than you ever had been before but it was so damn good. Shouta started slow, one hand gripping your thigh as he ignored your demands for him to speed up.

"You're gonna take what I give you like a good girl or I'll just pull out and cum all over you right now."

That shut you up except for the constant stream of moans that left your throat. Just as you were finally getting used to being split by such a thick cock he changed his rhythm. Fast pounding thrusts that knocked the breath from your lungs were nearly constant. You didn't have enough breath to scream so you sobbed. Your half words were incoherent except for "sho please." Shouta leaned down and whispered in your ear as his thrusts once again spread up. He bit your ear lobe before making you lose your mind. 

"Such a tight little hole. I can't believe I had the strength to ignore it for three days. I could have at least eaten it while you laid back and rested. God I'm gonna have you for breakfast tomorrow." 

The utter heat in his words threw you over the edge making you cum so hard you began to shake. He growled as your pussy clenched down on him. Shouta sunk his teeth into the pillow by your head before shoving his cock against your cervix and shooting his cum against it. As soon as he finished cuming he started to thrust again. No slow start this time, just hard pounding thrusts that made you wail in pleasure. It didn't take long for you to cum again but Shouta lasted longer this time entirely fucking his cum out of you before finally cuming inside again just as deep as the first time. 

He pulled out and laid down next to you before pulling you on to his chest. You both panted trying to breathe like normal human beings again. Right as your breathing evened out you heard a voice from the doorway. And looked up to see the blonde radio host trailing his eyes over the two of you.

"I told you you wouldn't make it till I got home sho."

[helplessly-nonstop]

Laughing Gas Confession (L. Hemmings imagine)

I’ve been working on this fix for quite some time but since Luke decided to realize a new album, I finally managed to gain motivation to finish this fic! Anyway reader gets their wisdom teeth pulled and this is the results! Tagging my girlie @wrestlingfae

WC: 2352

-

Wisdom teeth. The bane of any person’s existence if they ever had the displeasure of them coming in. Truly the only thing a person could ever gain from them coming in might be the humerus videos you capture while on laughing gas. My experience however? A little less humorous and a lot more exposing.

“Come on, you’re being a baby about this, just go to the dentist and let them pull the wisdom teeth, you’ll feel much better!” Luke insisted as he shut the door behind us. I groaned as he continued to pester me about setting up a dentist appointment to remove the nightmares pressing against my jaw.

“Luke, I have no one to bring me home! They’re going to use laughing gas and I can’t drive while high.” I retorted, beginning to put away the groceries, only to press my fingers against the hinge of my jaw as the ache began to grow more painful. He stared at me with a disbelieving look then he exclaimed, “I’m off tour, I can take you! I mean, we’re best friends, isn’t that what we’re supposed to do? Take each other to the dentist, make sure you don’t ruin the Uber driver’s car flooring with vomit.”

“Okay, that was one time! That’s what you get for giving me Chipotle while I’m hammered. I mean, technically, me puking on that guy’s floor was your fault for letting me drink with Cal. You know he always encourages me to do bad things.” I insisted, handing him the milk to put away. He sighed, clearly realizing that I had won that point, and returned to our current argument, “Just let me take you. I swear, I won’t record you. I’ll just make sure you get there and back, safe and sound. Okay?”

We stared at one another for a while before I sighed, muttering, “Alright, fine, just make sure that I get there and back without breaking a bone.” His blue eyes sparkled at my agreement before he kissed me on my forehead then launched into making dinner as I dug through the freezer in search of an ice pack to press against my jaw. At least I’d finally get rid of these stupid wisdom teeth.

My appointment was set for tomorrow and dread was beginning to set in. Laughing gas loosened your lips and things that should remain a secret had the chance of slipping out. I was sitting on my bed, considering other options to pull my wisdom teeth without using laughing gas but ultimately came up empty. Unfortunately it seemed that this was the only way. Of course, I could have asked any of the other guys to take me to the dentist, but I feared that would hurt Luke. I just hoped that I could keep my secret locked away from even the grasps of the laughing gas..

“Today’s the day,” Luke crowed, bursting into my room, “C’mon, it’s time to take out those nasty wisdom teeth of yours!” I groaned and ducked my head beneath my pillow once again as I grumbled, “Why? Why did it have to be me to be cursed with a morning person as a best friend?” He flopped on my bed then lifted my pillow away from my face as he replied, “Balances out your night owl habits. Now come on, I bet you’re dying to get those bastards pulled.”

“It’s like you’re excited to see me suffer through recovery. Sadistic fuck. Alright, go, I’m getting dressed.” I muttered, shoving him off my bed. He groaned as he hit the floor then gave a small wave as he shut my bedroom door behind him, leaving me alone for the time being. I quickly changed and stared at the clock as I began to process what could happen.

Today was the day that I would risk the chance of exposing my love for my best friend of many years. What would I even do if I let it slip? Would he hate me? Would he reject me? Would he feel the same? So many thoughts raced through my head that I didn’t even notice that Luke had reentered, holding a hairbrush out to me. He cleared his throat and I glanced up with a sheepish smile then accepted the brush as he asked, “You need your shoes?” I looked around my room briefly and pointed to the stray pair of sneakers hiding beside my dresser before finishing brushing my hair.

He handed me my shoes and ran a hand through my hair as he assured me, “There’s nothing to worry about. They’re gonna take good care of you.” I smiled up at him and quickly pulled on my shoes before heading out the front door, sighing at the Los Angeles heat. We settled into the car and I stared out the window with a small sigh, prepared to finally get my teeth pulled.

“Hey you’re gonna be okay, there’s nothing to worry about. I’ve been to this dentist before, they’re really good.” Luke assured me, patting my hand. I smiled briefly then stared out the window, knowing damn good and well whether the dentist was good or not was at the bottom of my worry list for today.

We arrived at the dentist in fifteen minutes and I savored the knowledge that we wouldn’t be together while I’m high on laughing gas for too long. He guided me inside and I spoke to the nurse running the front desk while Luke investigated the assortment of pamphlets that were splayed across their wall. Settling back beside him, I gripped the arms of the chair, terror beginning to set in. What would happen as soon as I exited the exam room? Would I expose the truth? Could I prevent a secret from spilling out?

Long fingers slid over the top of my hand and I jerked out of my panic as Luke gave a tight squeeze. He smiled and assured me,”Hey it’s okay! I’ll be right here when you’re done, okay?” Just a few words and my heart began to settle. The nurse entered the waiting area then glanced up from his clipboard, calling my name. My best friend waved a hand towards the exam area then chirped, “A new life awaits you. One without pain.”

The words echoed in my head as I settled in the chair and the dentist coached me through how to breathe in the laughing gas before a haze settled over my thoughts. The operation was a quick procedure and the pressure of them removing the four monsters that evolution cursed us with was nothing compared to the relief I felt.

The nurse was kind enough to help Luke with guiding me to the car and I pressed my cheek against the cool glass of the window, poking my cheek to feel the gauze stuffed in my mouth. He swatted my hand away and chided, “Don’t do that, you’ll make it hurt worse later.” I pouted at his warning then mumbled,”You’re no fun, Luke. Why you gotta be a buzzkill?” He chuckled at my whining and ruffled my hair as he replied, “I’m not being a buzzkill, I’m saving you from yourself.”

We managed to go through the drive through without another incident of me being a disaster, which I’m sure he was thankful for. He tugged me out of the car and urged, “Come on, let’s get you inside, silly.”

“You know, I love you so fucking much, Lukey. Like holy shit.” I mumbled, leaning into his chest. He laughed as he guided me into the living room then replied, “I love you too. We should really get you laid down before you pass out on me. Doctor said by the time you got home, you’ll be about ready to sleep.” I smiled softly at him as I landed on the couch and insisted, “No, not- not like a best friend loves their best friend. I love you like a boyfriend and girlfriend love each other.”

His eyes widened at the statement then I began to lay down on the couch as I mumbled, “Prolly shouldn’t have said that but ya know how it is. Easy goes the truth you want most exposed. The subconscious is a strange place, Luke.” He gave a shallow nod and turned out of the living room then returned with a blanket, draping it over me as my eyes began to close. Long fingers brushed my cheek briefly then I heard him murmur something to me, but the pain medicine was beginning to settle in.

When I finally came to, I was still curled up on the couch, with a blanket curled around my shoulders and a pillow clutched to my cheek. Glancing around, I realized that Luke had disappeared from the living room, leaving me to nap by myself. I groaned, pressing a tender hand to my jaw, then mumbled, “Ah fuck, right. Wisdom teeth are gone.” I pushed off the couch and stumbled into the bathroom so I could pull the bloody gauze from my mouth. I moved my bottom jaw briefly, only to regret the decision as pain struck. I groaned and clenched my eyes closed, hoping that the agony would settle down.

“Hey, you’re up. You want something to eat? I made soup.” Luke asked, leaning against the bathroom doorway. I turned at the sound of his voice and questioned, “How long was I out?” He hummed at the question, glancing down at his phone screen as it chimed, then replied, “About four hours. Not a bad nap. Come on, let’s get some food for you.”

As the week progressed, I noticed Luke had become distant. He moved away when I leaned against him, particularly when he was texting which was never an issue in our friendship. We often flocked to one another when we were chatting with friends and even potential love interests so it was strange for him to shy away.

When I entered a room, he would leave just seconds later, as if he couldn’t stand the thought of standing in the same area as me. What had happened when my wisdom teeth were pulled? Had my behavior while dealing with the pain really drove my best friend away? Or worse, did I tell him my biggest secret while I was under the influence of laughing gas and pain medicine? And if so, how long would our friendship last?

I allowed his strange behavior to continue unquestioned for another week, hoping that it was a mere coincidence that he was acting so strange so soon after my wisdom teeth surgery. But I finally caved on demanding what his problem was when I tried to hug him, only for him to sidestep me.

“Was there- did I do something wrong? Because if I did, I’d really like to know what’s causing you to act like this towards me.” I asked, stepping forward to try and meet his eyes. He turned on his heel and ran a hand through his hair before he grumbled, “So that’s why you didn’t want me to take you to the dentist. Because you were afraid of telling me the truth while you were under?” I raised an eyebrow at him and began to ask what he meant, only to pause when his words sank in.

“Oh my god, I didn’t. Please tell me that I did not say what I think you’re saying that I said.” I rushed out, not caring if it had made any sense. He flickered his gaze up to me then he snapped, “How long? How long have you been hiding the fact that you’re in love with me?”

“I’m kind of hoping that’s an optional question to answer.” I admitted, twisting my fingers together. He whipped to face me and shouted, “Goddammit, this isn’t a fucking joke to me, so quit deflecting and tell me what I want to know!” I flinched back at his anger then demanded, “Why are you so pissed that I didn’t tell you that I’m in love with you? I have a right to hide things, Luke! It’s not like you feel- never mind, just let me take my medicine.”

He stepped in front of me and held a hand up as he said simply, “Finish what you were going to say. You know me so well, tell me what you were going to say.” I glanced up at him then murmured, “It’s not like you feel the same anyway.”

“But how would you know that? You’re dismissing me before you even give me the chance to tell you how I even feel! You think I’d take just someone to the dentist? I mean- fuck! I wish you’d just let me tell you how I actually feel instead of acting like I wouldn’t give you a second of my time. I’m in love with you, dammit!” he shouted, chest heaving. My jaw dropped as we stared at one another, silence settling over our living room, then he drew in a deep breath, hissing,”I wasn’t going to confess like this. You just riled me up so fast, dammit.”

“You're in love with me?” I croaked out, surprise taking over my anger. He drew in a deep breath, as if he was preparing to give a giant speech, then he whispered, “I’ve been in love with you since high school. I just thought that you only wanted to be friends.” I cupped his face and he leaned into me, pressing his forehead against mine then I mumbled, “I thought I never stood a chance. That’s why I never made a move. I was terrified of what would happen if you didn’t feel the same.”

“Two halves of a whole idiot on the same thing, I guess.” he replied, giving a small smile. I giggled and asked, “Would my other half give me a kiss then?” He gave me a gentle kiss then assured me, “The second that you’re all healed up, I’m going to kiss you so fucking hard.”

“You better keep that promise, pretty boy.”

[doctorstethoscope]

The Right Chapter Nine || Aaron Hotchner x Fem Reader

Hello and happy Tuesday besties! ICYMI, I posted a bit of smutty goodness for all of you 18+ folks here. If you’d like to be added to my general Hotch fic taglist please let me know! 

Read previous chapters of this fic here! 

contains: canon-typical discussion of violence, food mention, therapy, cuddling. 

wc: 2k

When you woke up the next morning, there were flowers in a vase on your bedside table. You’re smiling before you’ve even wiped the sleep away from your eyes, grabbing the sticky note that was stuck to the vase. 

“Would’ve sent these to your desk, but figured that wouldn’t go unnoticed by a team of behavior experts. Hope they made you smile anyways. -AH

An expert on behavior and he was only hoping that he could make you smile, you laughed to yourself, rolling out of bed and finding Aaron in the kitchen with a mug of coffee, packing Jack’s lunch. 

“When did you find the time to do that, Hotchner? Don’t you ever sleep?” You asked, and he looked up at you, breaking out in a smile. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” He shrugs, looking back down to his carrot slices as you cross the kitchen in pursuit of a cup of coffee. He places the knife down and tugs you closer to him by the palm of your hand so he can drop a kiss to the top of your head. It makes you feel warm all over. You hear the insistent smacking of small feet on hardwood and step away from Aaron in an instant, not wanting to be caught by Jack. 

“Morning bud,” Aaron calls across the kitchen. Jack responds with a yawn, which makes you giggle. He smiles at you. 

“Are you gonna have to go catch bad guys again?” He asks. “I missed you and dad.” 

“Oh little man, we missed you too! We probably won’t get called away today but I can’t say for sure. If dad and I come home tonight, do you want to have a special movie night so we can all spend some time together?” 

Jack nods ferociously, and practically starts buzzing with excitement. “Can we watch monsters inc?” 

“Oh, that’s one of my favorites!” 

“Dad?” Jack looked to his father for confirmation. 

“Of course, bud. But you’d better eat all of these carrots I’m packing in your lunch if you want a treat.” Aaron smiled at Jack, who agreed easily. “Come on, we don’t want to miss the bus.” He said, ushering Jack out the door with a Danimals and an orange while you finished getting ready. You were struck for a moment by how easily you had slid into the Hotchner boys’ morning routines, and you realized that you would miss it once you found your own place. But it was for the best-- you hoped that you and Aaron would be serious enough to consider living together, but you didn’t want to force it too early in the relationship and cause problems. 

When Aaron comes back, you’re dressed and ready to head off to work. He grabs his briefcase and suit jacket off of one of the chairs at the kitchen table. 

“D’you eat?” He asked as he pulled his jacket over his arms.

“I had coffee. I’m not a big breakfast person.” You tell him, surprised that he hasn’t already noticed this about you.

“Grab a fruit.” He tells you. 

“Did you eat?’ You ask him, and the tips of his ears turn pink. “Yeah, that’s what I thought, Hotchner. Why don’t you grab a fruit.” You teased, tossing him an orange from the bowl and tucking a banana into your purse as you stepped out the door, with Aaron locking up behind you. He wrapped his free arm around your waist as the two of you walked to the car.

“I have something to tell you, and you’re going to be mad at me.” Aaron confesses about halfway through your drive to work. 

“Ah, so that’s what the flowers were about.” You said facetiously. 

“No, the flowers were from your boyfriend, this news is from your boss.” He clarifies. 

“Oh?” You asked, needing him to explain more. 

“You’ve got a psych eval this morning.” He confesses and you groan. 

“Ugh, Hotch, really?” 

“Even if we could ignore what happened with Josh-- which, for the record, you shouldn’t-- you were held hostage by an unsub.”

“For like, twenty minutes!” You interrupted him. 

“It’s bureau policy, dear. There’s nothing I can do about it.” 

“And you can’t just say that you gave me the psych eval and I passed?” 

“No,” he tells you, sighing. “For us to be together, we need to keep everything above board. Hopefully no one starts on a warpath when we decide we’re ready to share this, but if they do, I don’t want to give them any reason to undermine your professional credibility by arguing I gave you special treatment.” 

You’re a little bit stunned by Aaron’s use of “when” rather than “if.” It’s not in a bad way, of course-- it’s actually, really, really good, to hear that he’s just as in it as you are, even if you hadn’t expressed it very well yet. The idea that he’s already thinking about the future-- even if it is your professional future, not exactly a white-picket-fence kind of future-- gives you butterflies. You realize you’ve waited too long to respond when Aaron speaks up again. 

“I understand if that’s a lot for you to take on, or if that makes you rethink things. I wouldn’t hold it against you if you decided this wasn’t worth the potential professional issues.” He adds nervously, clearing his throat. You reach over and put a hand on his thigh. 

“I think you’re worth the risk,” you smile at him, and watch him release a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

 “Thanks for coming in,” Laura, one of the FBI’s resident psychologists said as you settled into the couch in her office. You err on the side of politeness and decide not to point out that you didn’t really have a choice. 

“Not a problem,” you smiled at her. 

“So how are you feeling?” She asked. 

“I’m good. I’m happy to be back at work, and to get my field clearance back. I’ve missed it.” You tell her.

“That’s right, you’d been removed from the field for a head injury.” She said, peering over your file. “Service related?” 

“No, I fell down a flight of stairs,” you lied, hoping she couldn’t read you as easily as Aaron could. 

“Hmm, so you travelled with the team even though you weren’t cleared for field work?” She asks, and you’re pretty sure you’re not imagining the judgement in her tone. 

“I didn’t go into the field. I stayed at the police station, in compliance to orders from my doctor and from Chief Hotchner. Unfortunately, the field came to me,” you attempted to make a joke. She didn’t laugh. 

“Was it not possible for your duties to be completed from Quantico?” 

“No, it wasn’t. The behavioral analysis unit works as a team-- we’re able to determine profiles as successfully as we do because we collaborate. My efforts, and the work of my team, would have been severely hindered if I had stayed behind.” You answer mechanically, trying, and most likely failing, to not sound defensive. “I fail to see how that’s relevant to my experience with Alec Gordon.” 

“I’m just trying to determine if you’re engaging in a pattern of self-endangering or careless behavior.” Laura answers honestly.

“I can assure you that my attitude regarding my work and the work of my team is anything but careless.” You bite back.

“You came back to work very quickly after your concussion.” She says, and it’s not a question, so you don’t take the bait. “Any particular reason for that?” 

“I felt ready to return, and Chief Hotchner was willing to accommodate my need to work partial days until I was fully recovered, so on the advice of my physician I returned to work on a modified schedule.” 

“Agent, I don’t need to tell you that withholding information in our session or on the forms you filled out prior to our appointment today, will only hurt you.” 

“With all due respect, I haven’t withheld anything and I resent the implication.” 

“Very well, agent. I will have a complete evaluation sent to your supervisor by the end of the business day.” 

“Thank you for your time,” you smiled, trying to make it look real. 

“The door is always open, agent.” 

“So, you kind of beat me to the punch this morning,” Aaron tells you as you’re walking out of the office together. 

“What are you talking about?” You asked.

“Well, the flowers were a part of my master plan to get you to agree to come to dinner with me tonight, but it seems you’ve made other arrangements with my son.” He smirks at you as you both climb into his SUV. 

“I guess now you know where you stand in the ranking of Hotchner boys.” You tease him. 

“It won’t get me ahead of Jack, I know, but will you let me take you out to dinner tomorrow night?” 

“Aaron,” you laughed. “You don’t need to take me out to dinner.” 

“Yes, I do.” He tells you.

“We already live together. You’re going to have dinner with me regardless of whether or not we eat it at a restaurant.” You tell him, gesturing to his place as he parked the car.

“Maybe so, but you’ve already decided that we won’t be living together much longer. I care about you, and I want to spend time with you, and I’d like to take you out to dinner.” He said, shifting to face you now that the car was stopped.

You rolled your eyes fondly, feeling yourself blush. “I’ll allow it.” 

“God, it’s like pulling teeth,” Aaron muttered sarcastically, breaking out into a grin as you laughed.

You both got out of the car and headed inside, where Jess and Jack were working on a puzzle at the kitchen table. 

“Dad!” Jack says, looking up to see his father and abandoning the puzzle, launching himself into his father’s arms. 

“Hey, buddy. Did you have a good day?”

“Yes, and I ate all my carrots so that I could have a special treat while we watch Monsters Inc.” 

“He’s been waiting to tell you that all afternoon,” Jess laughed, standing up from the table and crossing to you to give you a hug. When Haley died, you and Jess got a lot closer, through Jack. “It’s good to see you,” she says as she squeezes you. 

“You too.” You smile. “I’ve got to go change into my special movie night clothes,” you smirked, leaving Jess, Jack and Aaron in the kitchen.

“Jack, why don’t you go put on your pajamas, and we’ll start the movie in a little bit?” Aaron suggested, and Jack scampered off towards his room. 

“Do you plan on ever telling that girl how you feel about her, or are you just going to look at her like she hung the stars in the sky for the rest of your life?” Jess asks Aaron bluntly. 

“I can’t possibly be that obvious.” 

“Aren’t you literally a behavior expert?” 

“It’s being handled, Jess.” He assures her with a quick grin as you emerge from your room in soft flannel pants and a tank top. 

“Do you want to stay, Jess? We’re just gonna order a pizza and veg out.” 

“I wish I could. But you kids have fun.” She said, looking between you and Aaron. Jack comes running out of his room to give his aunt a kiss goodbye and you all settle on the couch. 

Jack inserts himself in the middle of you and Aaron on the couch, a slice of pizza on a paper plate in front of him with the promise of ice cream later on. Aaron’s arm rests across the back of the sofa and his hand plays gently with the hair at the nape of your neck. You tilt your head in his direction, pulling Jack into your lap so you can scoot closer as the movie plays on. Jack falls asleep before you can even get him his ice cream, and you take the opportunity to rest your head on Aaron’s shoulder, his arm wrapping around your shoulder and tracing comforting patterns into the skin of your upper arms until the credits roll.

[t0wnspersonb]

Forever (Tsukishima Kei x Reader)

Anonymous said:

idk if anyone has done this but, can i request for kei tsukishima. where the reader and him are about to graduate, and she’s scarred that since everything’s gonna change she thought that he’ll lose interest and break up w her. but the ironic part is that they actually end up getting married and having kids lmaoo, pretty pls 🥺

Anonymous said:

Can you write sometimes where reader is pregnant and she’s hesitant to tell tsukki but he finds out anyways and it’s all angsty but ends on a fluffy note! (can this be when they’re in college?) also i LOVED your tsukki stories okay they’re my favorite!

~~~~

Word Count: 2,787

Summary: You and Tsukishima have been together since you were kids, after you had given birth to your guys’ first child Tsukishima revisits the past.

~~~~

I decided to combine these requests! I hope you guys don’t mind! This gave me all the fucking feels so I hope you guys like it! Again, I’m still shuffling through my inbox, I’m sorry that it took so long for me to write this one anons! Please enjoy and let me know what you think:)

~~~~

“I c-can’t! I c-can’t do this without Kei!” You cried, tightening your grip on Yamaguchi’s hand.

 The rising hysteria could no longer be beaten down, genuine fear overtook your body. It overshadowed the overwhelming feeling of pain, the urge to push being bitten down as your eyes scanned around the hospital room frantically.

 He still wasn’t here.

 Could you have a panic attack in the middle of giving birth? You thought so.

 “Y/n-chan.” Yamaguchi soothed, gently smoothing your sweaty hair away from your face. “He’s on his way, there was an accident a couple miles out from the hospital. The roads are blocked, traffic is at a standstill. But Tsukki will be here, I promise. But you need to start pushing now, it’s not safe for you or the baby to keep holding this off.”

 You whimpered softly as you gazed up at your childhood friend, his freckled face was calm and reassuring.

 At least… at least Yamaguchi was here right? You weren’t doing this entirely alone.

 But sadness still gripped at your heart, Tsukishima was going to miss the birth of his first child. He wasn’t here.

 “Mrs. Tsukishima. You have to start pushing now or we will have to do a C-section instead.” The doctor stated firmly.

 Yamaguchi squeezed your hand gently.

 “O-Okay.” You whispered out.

 You started pushing.

 ****

 Hours later, you were asleep in the hospital bed, completely knocked out from pure exhaustion.

 Beside you, your husband cradled your newborn close to his chest, gazing down at the small baby boy with the softest expression.

 Tsukishima had barely made it in time, right before the final push. The fear and guilt that Tsukishima felt was still present in his heart, but… love and complete joy was there as well.

 You and the baby were safe and healthy. That’s all that mattered to him. His eyes glanced over at Yamaguchi, he was asleep in one of the other chairs in the room. He would have to take him out for dinner in thanks for being with you when he couldn’t.

 God, he felt like a terrible husband. 

 The meeting at the museum had run late, and while the both of you knew that the baby was going to be due any day now… he didn’t think that it was going to happen tonight.

 “Mind if I take him?” a nurse asked quietly, Tsukishima looked up at her in surprise and nodded, carefully handing his boy over so they could finish doing their checkups.

 “Get some rest.” She said pointedly before leaving the room.

 Tsukishima sighed softly, removing his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. He was tired. But not like you.

 He reached for your hand, the one that was curled close to your face, carefully lifting it up and pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. 

 His expression was soft as he stared at your sleeping face. Tsukishima had never felt luckier in his entire life.

 The fact that you were still his after all these years, the fact that you brought his beautiful son into the world… he was truly blessed.

 Tsukishima’s lips twitched into a small smile as he thought back to the past.

 ***

 You sat on the gym floor, rolling the volleyball around absentmindedly. It was just you and Tsukishima, the silence between the two of you was comfortable. Tomorrow was graduation day, tomorrow was going to be the start to a new journey.

 Your eyes glanced over at the tall blonde, he was finishing up some last-minute stuff for the volleyball team.

 Biting your lip softly, you turned your attention back to the volleyball that was in front of you.

 The feeling that you had beaten down since the beginning of the year could no longer be buried.

 You had to ask.

 “Kei?” you called out softly.

 “Hmm?” 

 “Are we… do you… do you like me?” 

 He looked over at you, a dumbfounded expression covering his handsome face. “You’re joking right?”

 You huffed at him in annoyance, a soft pout taking over your features.

 He sighed, closing the notebook he was currently writing in, facing you directly. “We’ve liked each other since we were kids Y/n. We started dating in middle school. Why are you asking me something so stupid?”

 “Well do you love me?” you tried again.

 “Yes.” 

 Oh. You looked away from the blonde male, doubt and unease still clouding your heart. This was stupid. Asking him those questions wasn’t truly going to give you the answer you really wanted.

 You heard Tsukishima sighed loudly, hearing the soft squeak of shoes against the floors, and then he was pulling your chin up, forcing you to stare at him.

 He was squatted down in front of you, his lips turned down in a frown. “What is it?”

 “Nothing.” You mumbled, attempting to avert your eyes from his own.

 “Don’t lie. Something is obviously bothering you. Tell me.” he demanded, his grip on your chin tightening only slightly.

 You weren’t sure what it was in his face, but you felt tears begin to cascade down your cheeks. Much to his surprise and yours.

 “Y/n -” 

 “You’re going to break up with me!” you wailed, all of your feelings bursting from you like a broken dam. “You’re not going to want me anymore once you go to college… you’ll find someone better, prettier, more athletic than me! Everything is going to be different after tomorrow, you’re not going to love me the same way and -”

 His hand covered your mouth, stopping the flood of words that were rapidly escaping your quivering lips.

 “Are you stupid?” he asked incredulously, his eyes holding a fiery passion as he stared at you intensely. “Why would you say such ridiculous things? I thought you were smarter than that. You’re acting like Hinata.” he scowled, stretching and pulling at your cheeks.

 “That hurts Kei.” You whimpered out, but at this point you had stopped crying. 

 “Good. It’s punishment.” he said bluntly, pinching your cheeks harder.

 “Ow, ow, ow!”

 He finally released his grips on your cheeks, sitting down in front of you as you rubbed at your sore face, sniffling slightly.

 “Have you calmed down now?” He asked, reaching up to wipe the remaining tears from your eyes.

 You nodded wordlessly.

 “Good. Now listen closely.” he said seriously. “You seriously think that after all the years we’ve been together I’m not going to want you anymore just because we’re going to different colleges? Have you forgotten that I deliberately chose a college that was close to yours so that I could still see you every day?”

 You didn’t say anything, so he continued on. “Do you really think that I would be unfaithful to you, and look at other girls just because you won’t be by my side as often?”

 Again, you were silent.

 “You really think that I’m going to want someone smarter, prettier, more athletic than you? I’m going to be too busy worrying about your stupid ass the entire time that I won’t even have time to think about my classes, much less try to find someone else.” You started getting more nervous as Tsukishima’s voice gradually began increasing.

 “Of course, things are going to be different after tomorrow.” He said, tone sharp and biting. “That’s to be expected, we’re graduating high school Y/n. Nothing can stay the same forever.”

 He was right. Tsukishima was always right.

 “But…” his hand cupped your face, urging you to look at him. You felt your breath catch in your throat, his expression was full of adoration, his gold eyes burning into yours.

 “One thing will never change, and that’s how I feel about you. I love you. I want only you. Don’t you ever question that again dumbass.” he murmured, leaning forward and capturing your lips in a passionate kiss.

 ****

 Tsukishima’s lips twitched at the memory; you were truly a crybaby back then. While it had gotten better over the years, you still cried about everything.

 Tsukishima felt his stomach twist as he thought about when he had truly made you cry. He still felt guilty about that.

 It wasn’t even that long ago when it had happened.

 *****

 “You need to go to the doctors Y/n.” Tsukishima said, frowning as he watched you rinse your mouth at the bathroom sink.

 You had just finished puking your brains out for the third time that day. This has been going on the past couple of days, both of you under the impression that you were coming down with a stomach bug.

 “I made an appointment for later today.” you mumbled, drying your face against the hand towel.

 “Do you want me to take off of work to take you?” he asked, gently wrapping his arms around your waist.

 You shook your head. “The museum needs you Kei. I’ll be fine.” you said quietly, leaning back into your husband’s strong chest.

 He hummed softly, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of your neck. “If you say so… I’ll be leaving first then.” 

 You waved goodbye to him at the door, watching him drive off.

 You sighed softly, heading into your office to finish up some last-minute work. It had been three years since you guys had graduated college, both of you finally getting to work at your dream jobs, Tsukishima at the museum, and you, working at a design firm.

 Things were finally falling into place it seemed. You guys had only gotten married last year, and it was just a couple of months ago that you guys had finally bought your first house.

 Life was good. Really fucking good. 

 The ring on your finger caught your attention as you typed, pausing for a moment to appreciate its beauty.

 Tsukishima had kept his promise. He’s continued to love you unconditionally. He even married your dumbass, something that you hadn’t imagined at all.

 Yes, life was really good.

 Nothing could go wrong at this point.

 Right?

 Wrong.

 Fuck you were so wrong. 

 You inhaled shakily, wringing your hands together nervously as you stared at the doctor in shock.

 “You’re… are you sure? Can we take it again?” you asked, voice shaking.

 “I’m very sure. But we definitely can do the test again.” The doctor said.

 You nodded. Maybe it was defective? Maybe the second time it would…

 No.

 It was still the same.

 It was still positive.

 You were pregnant. You were definitely pregnant.

 It wasn’t a stomach bug. It was morning sickness. You were already six weeks along.

 You were too busy in your life to even realize that your period was late, you had thought it was from the stress of work and moving.

 The rest of the day you were on edge, you couldn’t even focus on your work. 

 What did this mean for you?

 No… what did this mean for your relationship with Tsukishima.

 You guys had never talked about having children, it something that was never brought up. 

 What if… 

 What if Tsukishima didn’t want kids?

 The tears flowed easily down your cheeks at the thought, your hand resting on your stomach unconsciously.

 But this was… this was Tsukishima’s baby. The man you loved the most. You already knew deep in your heart that you loved this baby.

 The thought that Tsukishima wouldn’t, the thought that Tsukishima might not want anything to do with you or baby caused more tears to fall down your cheeks.

 You didn’t say anything to him for three weeks.

 The fear you held ate away at you, you wanted to tell him, but each opportunity that came up, you backed out.

 Until one day when you had come home from the grocery store, Tsukishima was staring blankly at the tv. His hands folded in front of his face; his expression unreadable.

 “Kei are you ok-”

 “How long?” he interrupted you, his eyes holding so many different emotions as he stared at you.

 You frowned in confusion at his statement. “I don’t -” “How long have you been pregnant Y/n?” he cut you off, rising from the couch at full height. He glared down at you.

 You could feel your lips tremble. “You have to understand -”

 “How long?” he repeated again.

 “I’m nine weeks.” You whispered, tears stinging your eyes as you stared at the carpet beneath your feet. 

 You heard his sharp intake of breath, your body flinching hard at the noise.

 “When did you find out?” he asked.

 “Three weeks ago.” You whispered.

 “Why… why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell me the minute you knew!? Why did I have to find out that my wife is pregnant from a voicemail the doctor left on our phone!?” 

 He’s… Tsukishima has never yelled at you like this. Your head snapped up to see his furious expression as he stared you down with an icy glare.

 “Kei you have to understand I was scared! I didn’t know if you -” you were reaching for him, only for him to jerk his arm back at your touch, stepping further away from you. 

 “Don’t touch me.” he said coldly. “I can’t believe you. I’m leaving.” he walked past your trembling form, grabbing his jacket and his car keys, the door slamming behind him.

 Your heart broke, you collapsed onto the floor. Loud sobs escaping your lips as you hugged yourself. One of your hands clapped tight over your mouth as you desperately tried to quiet the despair that was coming from your lips. 

 ****

 By the time he had gotten home it was incredibly late, Tsukishima had never felt more exhausted in his entire life.

 He quietly closed the door behind him, discarding his coat and keys onto the kitchen table.

 He fucked up.

 He shouldn’t have overreacted like that. He shouldn’t have left you like that.

 He just… he didn’t know how to handle it. He was angry because you kept such an important secret from him. He was shocked because - well - because you were pregnant, something that wasn’t planned at all. He was scared because… what if he wasn’t a good dad?

 He definitely didn’t feel like a good husband right now.

 His heart broke as he took in your form. You had cried yourself to sleep, curled up tightly on the bed, your hand clutching at your stomach protectively.

 He had hurt you so much, he had left you when you needed him the most… you dealt with a large burden on your own, all because you were fearful of how he was going to take it.

 He fucked up.

 He hated himself. 

 Tsukishima had to make it right now. The thought of losing you forever. The thought of losing his child forever, he couldn’t stand it. Carefully he slipped under the blankets, his long arms wrapping protectively around your body as he pulled you tightly against his chest.

 He buried his face into your hair, his grip tight on you. His hand gently pushed yours away, his fingers rubbing carefully against your belly.

 A baby.

 You were carrying a baby in there. You were carrying his baby. 

 He’s never loved you more than this moment.

 “Kei?” you whispered; you woke up when you felt your body being tugged into a familiar chest.

 “I’m so sorry.” he whispered back, kissing the skin behind your ear. “I shouldn’t have acted that way… I just… I’m sorry. I love you. I’ll love you forever Y/n. I’ll love our baby forever. They will want for nothing. I’ll take care of you. I’ll take care of both of you. Don’t leave me.”

 You felt tears sting your eyes once more, your hand gently rested on top of his. “I won’t leave Kei. I love you.”

 He squeezed you tightly to his chest, his fingers tracing patterns into your stomach as you both began to drift off into sleep.

 ****

 “Mmm… Kei?” you mumbled sleepily, eyes gazing at your husband. He was staring off into space, his hand still holding your softly.

 Your soft voice snapped him out of his thoughts, his eyes finding yours immediately.

 “You did so well.” he praised, gently pushing your hair away from your face. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be here sooner.”

 You shook your head, leaning into his touch. “You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

 He didn’t say anything as he continued staring at you, gently touching your face with soft fingers.

 “He’s beautiful.” he finally said.

 “Takes after his daddy.” you cooed, eyes fluttering back shut in exhaustion. You felt a gentle pressure of cool lips press against the top of your head. 

 “Sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.” Tsukishima breathed out.

 So you did.

 Tsukishima’s heart has never been more full. 

[madmaryholiday]

thought this weekend was done fucking with my head, but now my parents are demanding that i make an appointment with my PCP to talk about weight loss drugs in the morning.

now i'm gonna talk about self-harm and suicidal ideation and fatphobia and diet culture under this "read more," but i want to emphasize that i am safe and in no danger of hurting myself. i'm just documenting how all of this is making me feel.

they ambushed me at dinner, going on about how this was a serious health concern and how if i were to be injured or fall seriously ill, they wouldn't be able to take care of me in our house. how if something happened to them and i had to move in with my brother and his wife, i may not be able to get up and down their many stairs. how i'm gaining weight and it's putting too much strain on my body.

and i mean. they're not wrong? my weight is making it harder for me to get around, which then makes me more reluctant to move around, which leads to muscle wasting, which makes it harder to get around, etc. losing weight would make it easier for me to build up strength in my muscles and joints.

but the thought of deliberately trying to lose weight makes me want to hurt myself for the first time in a decade.

i have trauma about weight loss and dieting and all that shit. i am haunted by television shows about morbidly obese people dying in pursuit of weight loss, and people at their fucking funeral saying how inspiring they were for trying to be "healthier."

i'm afraid that the drugs will paralyze my digestive system and lead to the same life-altering difficulties faced by people to get weight loss surgery--which i specifically DON'T WANT TO HAPPEN. or that it will make it even harder for me to absorb nutrients in general, and i'll develop some godawful deficiency that nobody will notice because i'd be losing weight and that must be good, right???

and when you do lose weight, the first thing to go is your muscle. I DON'T HAVE ANY MUSCLE TO SPARE. i am so afraid that i would get even weaker if i went on these drugs, and my doctors would use it as justification for putting me on even more of them.

"your neurologist thinks you should do it."

well my neurologist is a fucking NEUROLOGIST.

i'm just. i haven't felt this visceral revulsion in years.

how do i tell my parents that dieting as a preteen traumatized me so badly that i would rather die than put my body through extreme weight loss programs?

and of course i'm a stress-eater, so having this blow up tonight just makes me want to stuff my face with chocolate.

and simultaneously makes me want to not eat for a couple days.

but i have work tomorrow, so i have to eat enough to take my meds and to not collapse at my photo booth. if they had done this to me on friday, i probably just wouldn't have eaten any more than i needed to take my meds for the weekend.

(it's also not just a diet 20+ years ago that did this, but that was the Inciting Incident. it made me hyper-aware of diet culture and the pressures to maintain a "healthy" weight. i internalized all that shit, at it ate away at me for YEARS. and this is the result.)

god fucking dammit.

i'm also scared that doing physical therapy before work would deplete my energy too much, but i'd rather get that ball rolling than call my PCP about weight loss drugs. it's what i WANT to do anyway--build up strength in my joints and core muscles so that i can stand to move around more, which in theory should make it easier to maintain my current weight or even lose some weight. like i said, i'm just afraid that they'll push me too hard and i won't be able to advocate myself during the appointments. but if my parents demand that i do something tomorrow, it's the least awful option.

(there's also this terrible part of me that wants to tell my parents that i'm not being obstinate, i'm just traumatized from dieting at a young age. but that would make them feel guilty, and i don't WANT them to feel guilty. i know it's not their fault! but this has brought up so many awful feelings that i still kind of want them to feel bad about kicking this hornet's nest, you know?)

i hate this. and i don't know what to do.

[petri808]

OHMYGODDD JUST SAW YOUR LATEST POST I LOVE IT ANGST WITH A HAPPY ENDING IS JUST CHEF'S KISS. I WOULD LOVE TO SEE 42, 49 and 13 FOR NALU PLEASEEE CAN'T WAIT TO READ ITT

😳 Ya’ll really love angst huh? Lol okay, sure let’s see what I can come up with. 😊 “You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!” + “I’m pregnant” + “Im too sober for this”

Lucy’s knees weakened and sent her crumbling to the bathroom floor. Why was this happening to her?! She’d just finished college and was about to start her paid internship with a local newspaper. ‘What am I gonna do?’ Lucy gripped to the stick in her hand as the tears trickled down her face. This could derail her future before it even started— all because of one slip-up. How was she going to tell Natsu… Not knowing who else to talk to, Lucy turned to her best friend Levy McGarden. She texted the woman and drove over to her friends apartment in dread.

“Oh, Lu…” Levy hugged her friend tightly before pulling her into the small apartment. She sat Lucy down on the couch, then made them both some tea. “How you feeling?” Levy asked as she handed the cup over.

“How do you think I’m feeling?!” Lucy groaned. “I feel like I’m in a nightmare.”

“Are you sure the results are correct? You know those home pregnancy tests can be wrong.”

“I don’t know, I mean I followed the instructions and it didn’t give an error sign.” Lucy pulled the stick from her pocket. “See?” She showed it to her friend. “Two lines.”

“Oh— yeah, looks like it,” Levy agreed.

Lucy pocketed the test once again and hung her head. Both hands cradled the warm cup, just holding it without a desire to drink from it. “Just thinking about this is making me sick. Maybe I can just pretend it’s not true.”

“Lu, that’s ridiculous. I’m pretty sure the growing bump on your stomach will make that difficult.”

“Ugh! I know!” Lucy shrieked. “Lie to me or something… Levy, I-I don’t think I can deal with this!”

“Well, you have to. And how am I supposed to lie about this?!”

“I don’t know, tell me this is a dream. Just a bad dream that I’m gonna wake up from. The test was wrong, something! Maybe it’s just a fiction story I’m working on cause I just don’t wanna think about it right now.”

“I’m sorry, but you can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did! Lucy you have to face reality.”

“What am I gonna do Levy? I can’t be having a baby!”

“Well first things first, you need to tell Natsu— I’m assuming it’s Natsu.”

“Of course, it’s Natsu! I haven’t slept with anyone else.”

“Well you need to tell him. He deserves to know.”

“I know…”

“Natsu’s a stand up guy, I know he’s going to do the right thing.”

Lucy sighed, “that’s not what I worry about. I mean having kids is something that’s crossed my mind… just not anytime soon. We’re not even married yet. Ugh! I’m such an idiot.”

“Sometimes these things happen.” Levy placed her hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Can’t go back to the past, so now all you can do is figure out the now. Do you have any idea when it happened?”

“My guess is my graduation party, cause that was the last time we had sex. I barely even remember it cause I was so drunk,” Lucy whimpered, then started to sob. “We’re usually careful but… yeah, it had to be that.”

“Come here,” Levy pulled her friend into a hug. “You’re gonna be okay. Whatever happens, you’re gonna be okay.”

The women spent a couple more hours chatting, flipping between random topics, but often coming back to this one. Lucy struggled to even wrap her mind around the reality that this is real. That she was going to have a child, when she was barely an adult herself and all the factors involved only compounded her dilemma. Her new job isn’t going to afford a child. Natsu had a decent job, but even combined it would be a struggle. They’d have to find a place together, a two bedroom house or apartment. What about the medical expenses, and the baby supplies— babies are expensive! Where was the money going to come from?

When Lucy noticed the time and realized Natsu would be coming home from work within the hour, she thanked her friend for the support and bid her goodbye. Even though she had calmed down a little, she wasn’t ready, didn’t know what or how she was going to break the news to him. So, after arriving home, Lucy tried to distract herself by cooking dinner. It didn’t really work, but at least a meal was made. Her life until now had been going well in that she had a boyfriend who treated her right, supported her while she finished her degree, even pushed her to follow her dreams of writing. And now that her degree was finished, Lucy was on her way after landing the paid internship. If she passed the internship, they would offer her a permanent position at the newspaper.

But now all of that felt like it was slipping through her fingers. All her hard work for nothing because juggling a small child and going to work… Maternity leave is not paid, so they’ll have to rely on just one income for a time, then daycare is quite expensive. Sure, there are programs that she could apply for to help or family, but that’s not the point— the point is, they are sorely not ready to become parents.

“I’m home!” Natsu called out as he entered the apartment. “Something smells good!”

“Welcome home, Natsu.” Lucy called out from the kitchen. “It’s almost done.”

Natsu detected a change in his girlfriend’s tone. Usually when he gets home, she’s in a happier mood— but not today. He threw his keys onto the kitchen island and walked up, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Everything okay?”

Whatever words she’d planned to say were thrown out the window as tears pooled instantly in Lucy’s eyes. “Natsu, it’s…”the words stumbled out, “um… I-I’m pregnant.”

“P-Preg…nant?!” Natsu took a step back in shock, his trembling hand moving to cover his mouth. “Oh, wow— I’m too sober for this,” he mumbled.

“Pregnant,” she repeated as the sobs broke free. “And alcohol is what got us into this mess!” Lucy snapped and sobbed louder.

“Oh, h-hey now, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Natsu pulled her into his arms. “Don’t cry baby, please don’t cry, I hate seeing you cry.”

“Natsu, I’m pregnant, did you hear me?! Pregnant! I can’t be pregnant!”

“Shh… I hear you,” he gently coaxed Lucy to the couch and had her sit down, then sat beside her, cradling her close. “True, it’s not the best time… but we can make it work.”

“You don’t understand, I’m not ready, Natsu. I don’t think I could handle it…” all the reasons refreshing in her mind. “I have no experience with with kids. What if we screw up? It’s just…” Lucy sighed. “I think… I’m too overwhelmed right now.”

“Okay, well— they make those things now, the, um, end pregnancy stuff.”

“I don’t know…”

“Lucy, I’ll support whatever decision you make.”

“You say that now, but later you’ll probably resent me for… kil— doing that,” she mumbled.

“I don’t know that so neither can you. All I do know is that yes it might hurt— but you’re the important thing right now, and if you say you’re not ready, then I have to accept it. Kids are never easy, I doubt all the preparation in the world can really make a difference. But Lucy,” he took her hand and held it to his chest. “As long as I’ve known you, whatever you choose to do you’re great at it.”

“Really?” She looked up with hope filling her eyes for the first time all day.

Natsu smiled. “And who better to start a family with?” He cupped her cheeks and kissed her. “Then a smart, sassy, beautiful woman like you.”

Lucy’s eyes flooded with tears. “You really think we can make it work?”

He nodded. “As long as it’s something we really want, then yeah.”

After a momentary pause, Lucy let out a long stabilizing exhale. “Okay. I’ll call my doctor and make an appointment tomorrow to check.”

“Really? Y-You sure? Because I don’t want you to feel like I’m trying to coax you into this.”

“No, I-I’m pretty— sure. Things sometimes happen for a reason, right? Maybe it’s meant to be.”

Natsu pulled her in for another longer kiss. “Guess I better hurry up and marry you then,” he chuckled.

She snorted a laugh. “I guess so mister!”

He pulled her close again, hugging her to his chest. “I love you so much baby.”

“Mmm, I love you too.”

“My own baby momma,” he teased.

Lucy slapped his chest with a giggling shriek. “Don’t you dare call me that!”

“Oh,” he grinned, “I’m totally getting t-shirts made.”

[ablackfangirlwrites]

Prompt: Hawks reacting to reader being pregnant

A/n: idk why but I love the idea of hawks with triplets

You weren't excited and you weren't not excited when you found out that you were pregnant

You honestly didnt know what to think of it

You and hawks has been going out for a while

It was pretty serious according to you

But that didn't mean you know how he'd react to you having a baby

But you weren't too worried though

Keigo was an understanding

Later when keigo got home you'd surprised him

By telling him you had got him a new shirt

He'd be excited that you got him a gift

But when he saw the words on the shirt 'worlds best dad'

His eyes would glow

"Omg are you serious!" He'd ask smiling

He'd run to you and pick up and spin you but then he'd put you down

"Omg did that hurt you? Are you okay? How far along are we? When is the due date? Is it a boy or a girl?"

He bombarded you with questions

You were happy to know he was happy about the news

And you could only laugh, "I dont know all of that yet. We'll find out tomorrow at the doctor's appointment."

His smile would go wider

He seething with excitement

It's at the doctor's appointment that you find out your not having one baby

You're having three

The blood would definitely drain from both your faces

"Well at least we can it quits after them..." keigo tires to joke

To which you roll your eyes

He's a bit intimidated at the idea of having three children

But he's also equally excited

"I'm gonna do everything with them."

He acts more excited than you

But you cant tell if he's being that way because he's scared or actually excited

But it's a mixture of both tbh

Caters to you the whole time your pregnant

"How's the beautiful mother of my future children doing?"

"Keigo this is the fifth time you've called today. Dont you have to work?"

He's a bit over bearing

But it's all out of love

The bigger you get the more he's waiting on you hand and feet

When you have the children he's there and he's crying

And he's so happy

It's two girls and a boy

Immediately asks you to marry him when their all out

Raising them is a bit difficult its three of them after all

But the two of you are a team

And true to his words he tries to do everything with them

Is the best dad...not always the smartest but he's there

[purebarnes]

courage to change—

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ ➢ when one man gets a chance to go out and date but something is stoping him, wether it’s his guilt taunting him or the girl he was meant to be with.

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ ➢ 1.8k

ᴅɪꜱᴄʟᴀɪᴍᴇʀꜱ ➢ angst, mention of death, therapy sessions.

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ ꜱᴘᴇᴀᴋꜱ ! ➢ just enjoy.

all on his mind was his nightmares, he would constantly have them and when he had them, he wouldn’t tell anyone about them. especially his therapist, dr. raynor even though she needs to know so that she could help him. after he was brainwashed and turned into a assassin that all he thought himself as. she was on his mind constantly and nothing could change that—she was the girl for him.

probably the most bizarre combination of people to ever get together but if it was meant to be then that’s all that mattered. bucky always wanted to be with y/n but after her dad passing then he couldn’t bare to see her again. no calls, no notes, nothing which was common for someone like james. he would go to his court-appointed therapy sessions to get help so that he could be free. it was the usual, he wouldn’t talk to her and she would have to take down notes.

most people would cooperate but when you’re in his situation then it would be extremely difficult for you as well. he would sit across of dr. raynor just staring, “did you call her?” she asked and he tensed up staring at the ground intensity spreading throughout the whole room. she shook her head as she new the answer but she need something. he would constantly bring up sam and y/n but mostly her and it was like he couldn’t forget all the passion they had. “james. have you called her?” dr asked once more getting no answer from the man, this time he shook his head at her meeting her eyes. he wanted to call or do something to make sure she knew that he still cared about her. “i can’t call her—why not?” she interrupted him and honestly he didn’t have a answer on why he could talk to her.

she moved passed the topic of y/n and went to go to tell her about the nightmare that he indeed had last night as she knew that he had one. he would do the same, not say anything but this one was easier to dodge. “are you still having nightmares?—no.” he told her while he knew that he was and it would taunt him ever night. “well, you seem a little off today. i don’t want to mention her but—it’s not about y/n.” he tried to tell her, “did something happen recently?” she asked bucky getting another no from his lips trailing off like it was smooth.

bucky hated constantly saying no and lying about everything that was bothering him, “you’re a civilian now. with your history, the government needs to know that you’re not gonna...” the dr said putting up her first to show that he wouldn’t hurt anyone. he stifled a smile while she continued, “so, tell me about your most recent nightmare—i didn’t have a nightmare.” dr. raynor sighed deeply before clicking her pen to write into her notebook, bucky groaned. “oh, come on. really? you’re gonna do the notebook thing? why? it’s passive aggressive.” he mumbled.

“you don’t talk. i write—okay. okay, i thought about her but every time i see anything there she is. everywhere i go she doesn’t disappear.” he told the therapist slightly telling the truth and he never told her about the nightmare he had. “but like i said, i didn’t have a nightmare—look.... one day, you’re gonna have to open up and understand that some people really do want to help you and that they can be trusted.” she told him.

she wanted bucky to open and finally figure out that he needed to be able to trust. “i trust people—yeah? give me your phone.” bucky groaned reaching his back pocket to reach for his phone to pass it across. she went to check the contacts he had, “you don’t have ten numbers on this thing. oh, and you’ve been ignoring the texts from sam and still nothing to y/n. look, you’ve gotta nurture friendships. i am the only person you have called all week. that is so sad.” she passed the phone back to him as he caught it waiting for her to continue. “you’re alone. you’re a hundred years old. you have no history, no family, no girl—are you lashing out at me, doc? because that’s really unprofessional, you know? i mean, when did that start? yelling at your clients? the notebook. that’s great.” he sighed when he saw her pull out the notebook into her lap to write a few things.

“all right, give me a break. i’m trying, okay? this isn’t... this is new for me. i didn’t have a moment to deal with anything, you know? i had a little... calm in wakanda. i had her and i just lost her.” he explained to the doctor sighing at the thought of bringing her up again, he wanted to be able to just forget her but nothing could do that for him. he lied, he wanted her back and he wanted to feel her but he couldn’t do anything. he thought it was too late, “and other than that, i just went down one fight to another for 90 years.” she knew he had gone through a lot, it was a lot and she wanted to help and asked him what he wanted. “peace—that is utter bullshit.” she spat out honestly, “you’re a terrible shrink—i was an excellent soldier, so i saw a lot of dead bodies, and i know how that can shut you down. and if you are alone, that is the quietest, most personal hell. and, james, it is very hard to escape.”

if he knew what he wanted, he could of done something to make it all happen. bucky was a man of trauma and he wasn’t going to get better by not helping himself. “you have your mind back, you are being pardoned. i mean these are good things. you’re free.”

wednesday’s were the days that bucky and mr. nakajima would go out and eat lunch at izzy, a little bar that they would love to go and eat at. it was a couple times that he loved to go out and eat with the older, younger than him man. as they talked, yori suggested to ask out the lady in front of him. “you should ask her out—i can’t.” he knew he wasn’t ready to go back and date some girl that wasn’t y/n, sure he thought she was pretty but he wanted an excuse to not date her. it wasn’t that he didn’t like her, “He would like to take you out on a date.” he told the young lady as she looked up and bucky shook his head, not understanding why he would do that. “I’m really sorry about him—why are you sorry? i’m game.” he was taken back and he clicked his tongue while being intrigued, “tomorrow night then?”mr. nakajima said as she agreed on going he sighed, knowing that it might be time to move on.

maybe not move on entirely but to see what would happen in the date that he would go on. he turned back to mr. nakajima, “i can’t believe you did that. it’s a dance to these things. you gotta warm up and i haven’t danced since...” he said then automatically thinking about y/n and all the times she would laugh with him or giggle at him. he froze then looked back at him. it didn’t hurt if he would just go on one date and for her to never find out even though they would probably never be together again.

it was around ten o’clock and the gentle men brought flowers for his date tonight thinking it would be a nice gesture thing to do. they met back into the bar where they were talking and laughing like they would have known each other for a long time. it was almost like he has been there before—she brought up dating and asked if he had dated before and he couldn’t just not tell her anything. when he didn’t say anything, she kept staring until he spoke up drink his drink. “what’re you doing—what’s her name?” he looked started on what she meant, “was she special?” she asked another question. this time he understood what he was talking about, “y/n.” he just said not trying to make anything awkward by talking about his ex lover to the girl he was on a date with.

he was unsure on how she knew that he was thinking about her on their date, “she must be special if you’re thinking about her right now.” she joked chuckling but bucky stayed quiet finally understanding how he felt. he wasn’t ready to be with someone else and it don’t make it easy when she would be in his head everywhere. bucky looked at the wall zoning out to anything at that moment, the girl tried to snap him out of it but nothing worked. she told him that he would bring games so that they could play to pass the time. he went back in that zone.

she was dressed in a black t-shirt and a pair of shorts that showed of her curves easily to distract bucky. she didn’t mean for him to feel this way between her but he could help it. she would go over to her bathroom and starting putting away her essentials until she felt a vibranium metal arm. the coldness hit her shown skin as she shuddered as he went to wrap his arms around her waist. y/n looked up from her position and met his eyes through the mirror and smiled widely, he went to place small kisses on her shoulder—she groaned at him.

she turned around with his arms still placed on her waist, he moved his arm up to meet her back. she pulled up her arms and wrapped them gently around his neck, “stop staring like that.” she said looking into his blue eyes falling in love even more. he chuckled slightly caressing her check with his hand running it back and forth with his thumb. he couldn’t help but pull her in for a kiss which she accepted kissing him back. he let go of her then placing his head on top of hers telling her to go to bed. “let’s go to bed doll.”

he grabbed her hand leading them to the bed and getting ready to sleep with each other, in their arms. y/n unfolded her sheets jumping on the bed with bucky on the other side, she turned off her table light and turned to get closer to bucky while she moved to lay her head on his chest. she chuckle making bucky look down on her, “i love you.” bucky told her then falling asleep together.

the man looked to see the girl from the bar and he stuttered looking at her, “i, uh, i... i gotta go.” bucky got up from his stool and went to go straight the door before heading towards his own apartment. he went to open up his phone and he thought he would go and text her asking her how she was or that he even missed her. he wrote down a message but nothing came out, he would just fail to express how he felt.