#doccyuk

[bitegore]

If your OC Haven was in a Saw trap (a thing passed my timeline earlier, it's in my head now), why would they be there, who would they be with and what would they do? If they'd never be in that situation, why?

(Alternative question if that's too much: What member of their family (or family-like structure) do they like/hate most and why?)

I know it's been a while and when I got this ask I had decided I was actually too busy being shy about the character to answer it but good news! today is a different day and I keep thinking about Haven in saw traps. so

This is a really funny question because Haven's life is largely one giant saw trap filled with smaller, more annoying and immediate saw traps. He is possibly the only person who can successfully speedrun a saw trap.

In terms of the actual Jigsaw and his ideology about the saw traps, I'm only really familiar with the first movie so I'm not sure if this changes later but at least in that movie, Jigsaw wants characters to reflect on their vices or what he thinks of as the evidence they're not "living life to the fullest" or are lying to the people around them or something. I don't think Jigsaw would pick Haven because Haven is, due to the aforementioned saw trap lifestyle, a hedonist to the nth degree when not being placed under unpleasant and ridiculous constraints for the amusement or career goals (Haven's Jigsaw-analogue is more of an evil political attache than an evil life coach) of the people around him. He is like a malicious almost-solipsist who runs around constantly hurting the people around him because he can, though. I think Jigsaw would take issue with that but I'm not really sure how to design a saw trap to make you feel bad about hurting people, since, like, the whole point of the saw traps is to hurt the people around you or yourself until you ???? become more enamored with life or whatever.

(I don't really understand Mr. Jigsaw's logic. I decided it was stupid when I watched the movie and moved on. Alas this is making it hard to suitably design a saw trap for my beloved oc.)

I guess the move would probably be to put Haven in as a part of a saw trap for someone else, which he would both absolutely hate and also would be way more fitting anyway since he's really not meeting the "lack of survival instinct" criteria I'm pretty sure Jigsaw selects for. In that case...

Well. Haven exists to be a walking inciting incident, that's kind of what he's for, so he's ruined a lot of lives in a lot of ways. Jigsaw could probably try to Get him for that.

In which case my hypothetical saw trap for this dude would probably look sort of like the following:

Haven, being a fuckoff-huge dragon, doesn't fit well into indoor spaces but that's not good reason not to try. So this saw trap is probably in some sort of storage warehouse or other large building with a relatively open floor plan and a suitably unpleasant aesthetic. I've no idea how a reasonable person would restrain him due to the fuckoff-huge-dragonhood, and this is Mr. Jigsaw, so it's probably by way of like, stabbing him through the leg or something and attaching that to a chain. So Haven is probably pretty mad already. I'd also assume for any other fuckoff-huge dragon character the trap would involve sticking your hand in their mouth but Haven can control people with the power of his voice, so I'd imagine- I was going to say he'd been muzzled or something but let's be realistic here, his tongue's probably been cut out. It's fine, he can grow a new one later if he doesn't die. And then the saw trap for the other guy probably involves sticking their head down Haven's throat or something to go get a key of some kind, which Haven will actually be shockingly well-behaved for despite snapping and biting at everything in reach right until the instructions are given because he badly wants to get out of here, or possibly the trap is "kill him" in which case Haven will probably also be sedated in some way and also still do his level best to kill the person in the trap anyway and. Frankly he will probably succeed just due to sheer physical size. If you get weakly slapped by a half-asleep ninety-ton lizard I still think you're probably dead, sorry. He also has the advantage of having been cavorting about killing people for the last [checks notes] like four to six thousand years, i cant decide how old he is, you know how it is. Either way no one's having any fun.

If i did have to put Haven in a saw trap in the intended position though like. Due to the extremely specific complicated circumstances of his life he has exactly one person alive at a time who he has any closer a relationship with than "coworkers". So he'd be there with them. (This is due to the 'living in a series of saw traps' lifestyle and is whatever the opposite of 'by choice' is; it's a raw deal for absolutely everyone involved.) And... frankly I can't come up with something he wouldn't do except outright kill them? So they'd have to be separated by physical distance. And it seems rather Jigsaw-like for the game itself to be some stupid shit like "hack off your hand with a rusty butter knife within twenty-four seconds or else this guy gets eaten to death by wild boars" or something but Haven would just do it. If his back is clearly to the wall or the time constraint is tight he'd just do it and handle the fallout later (while trying real hard to hunt Jigsaw down and kill him really really slowly). Maybe ask for clarification depending on what tone the message takes, but I don't think Mr. Jigsaw usually addresses the people in the traps directly so i'm not sure that's even relevant.

And as for the other question...

I keep mentioning Haven's undesirable in-a-saw-trap-forever lifestyle at the hands of some fucked up politician. I think I also mentioned somewhere that Haven can control people by talking at them. This is an inherited ability! Something like thirty percent of his father's bloodline can do the same! Very exciting! Unfortunately for Haven his family has their sights ludicrously high and.

Okay actually, thought experiment. Suppose you want an army of people who can just make things happen at your beck and call, and if you go spawn five kids one or two of them is gonna be able to do that. WYD? Haven's unfortunately-not-absent father went the old-fashioned route and had as many heirs as physically possible and then set about getting logistical chains on them before they could try to get the upper hand on him, which was a nasty surprise for literally all of them because the vast majority didn't know he even existed in the first place. Haven included!

Haven's feelings on this figure are complicated not because Haven has literally any reason to feel positively about him in terms of, like, actual events, but specifically because there's only so much you can do to hang onto feelings like hatred when you've been befuckened so hard you're not capable of having negative emotions toward the very literal architect of most of your miseries. But hate would cover it if he were capable of hate. And everyone else is dead, so there's no competition, anyway.

[problempippin]

@doccyuk #And to be fair #Sam is a Master-Level Gamgee #Gamgeeing at higher levels than anyone in the Shire #Possibly the whole of Middle Earth

i think if i was an elf iw ould love when the dwarves call me Master Elf like. im not great at most things but i sure have mastered being an elf :D

[lithiumdoll]

This is @doccyuk’s fault

[lithiumdoll]

@doccyuk says he has a head-Lithy and-

Head Lithy accepted?

girl you've been running through my mind all day

[noa-nightingale]

It went well (even though I am exhausted now)! The next Thing is in November and then I will hopefully get my first dose of testosterone. Vibrating with excitement tbh. :3

Thank you to @natasha-barton @lumiereandcogsworth​ and @doccyuk​ for the encouraging words <333

Have to do A Difficult Thing today and I am anxious as hell. Will report back later.