#do.not re.blog

[holeymolars]

i just got access to my very first psychiatric assessment records from 2014 and girl the lack of funding and negligence i experienced was insane. i really believe in early intervention and i don't blame the individual psychiatrists i saw but the system really did fail me. had i been properly diagnosed and treated at 15 (after 3 years of my doctors and schools being aware of my MH issues) i could be living w low support needs, maybe have a job and a degree by now. my eating disorder and addiction issues could've been nipped in the bud right there and the right medication could've prevented the memory loss and brain damage i now have from untreated bipolar disorder and dissociative issues. if anyone had bothered to screen me for autism i couldve learnt to manage it and got the support i needed. really wish i could go back in time and advocate for myself at 12-15. one part of the report that broke my heart a little was: "Llywelyn stated that they are concerned for their future, particularly that they will be unable to get qualifications and consequently a good job and that they will be "depressed" their whole life". and i feel the exactly the same way now at 24 as i did then. only now my concerns are not being able to take care of myself anymore and dying before i reach 30.