#do you think when things got too much he wished he'd have a normal life instead

[harmonysanreads]

So since we were in Ena’s Dream all along,,,, I can’t help but imagine Sunday’s darling being one of the first ppl to snap out of it on their own because in it Sunday just,,, decides to let them go and they’re like “??? this is too good to be true????” and the best thing is, Sunday can’t just put them in a dream again bc as we’ve learned once you realize it’s fake you’ll always gravitate towards reality so like,,, is the darling stuck with him as the only wake people in the galaxy? Do they keep him company as he oversees Penacony and everyone in it? Sorry for rambling I’m just going thru one of the worst brainrots rn ;-;;;;

That is a very golden brainrot there anon, don't worry<3

While Sunday letting you go would be a good premise, there's an even more hauntingly sweet dream we can explore.

Picture this : you've been with Sunday since one of the earliest days, you've witnessed the birth of the sapling that'd later sprout into his present ideologies, you've seen his frustration for the unfair laws of nature ; that he's inherently powerless before the enigma of this universe. You've spectated his honest resolve and his downfall, and, despite the way he's treated you — there was always a part buried deep in your subconscious that wished for a normal life with Sunday.

Your dream merged with one of Sunday's dreams that he'd preserved. In that dream, no calamity took place and he didn't lose his mother, Robin and he grew up in a happy and healthy family. Somewhere during their adolescence, they met you and their world became more vibrant than ever before. Your relationship with Sunday progressed normally and everything till your union went smoothly. Sunday did not have to abruptly grow up because of the harsh push of reality, Robin pursued her dream seamlessly and every scene in it was flawlessly sweet.

Most importantly though, in that ideal world that you two shared ; there were no cages, there were no locks and subsequently, there were no birds.

That, is what ultimately shook you awake.

[landossnorriss]

i see you - pt.2 | ln x she.

Pairing: lando x she. Summary: lando and his lady make it through media day in spa. series links. Word Count: 1.4ishk Warning: some angst, some hurt, some healing, just the love and support i hope lando is getting tbh.

there were very few times that she was free to attend back to back races with lando. it was more often than not she tried to line up her time off so they could spend his breaks together but following hungary a few well placed phone calls had switched things around. anything that needed to be done critically was done so over zoom and the rest was simply put on pause.

she knew that lando felt bad about it, but the sure sign that he needed her was the way he had simply accepted her moving everything around without much of a fight. she had tried it before, after austria and a few other races and insisted that he would be fine on his own. when it had come down to it this week though and he tried to find the words to send her on her way and actually let her go and do her own thing the words he knew he should stay had stuck in his throat and instead he had found himself infinitely grateful to have her in his life.

things had been okay, bearable at least, whilst they had been in france with p and max. with his love around he hadn't needed to be on his phone too much and the noise had been easy to block out but when it had come to wednesday night and he had finally braved the storm his stomach had been left rolling.

the team orders that he had managed to silence were suddenly back and in full swing, the calls with andrea ever since the face had been loud and clear in his mind. he had been in calls for hours at this point, as they covered what he would and wouldn't say and in each of them lando had found himself wishing zak was around, someone in his corner but the message had been understood - you race for mclaren or you don't race at all.

lando had looked at her then, and that was when she had known she made the right call as he ended his meeting and she wrapped herself around him as tightly as she could. would she be able to kiss away the self doubt she could see creeping into the back of his mind? did they really think he had such a little shot at winning the wdc that they wouldn't give him that extra push to help him get there?

the real guilt had hit lando when he'd checked the news around oscars win and the headlines had painted him a villan. that much she knew he could have stomached on a normal day had it not been a dark cloud of sweet oscars first win. she'd reassured him as they laid in their bed trying to sleep before press day that it was going to be okay, that oscar understood but each time he managed to pull apart the differences in their wins. the atmosphere, the celebrations, the team spirit, each pieces he managed to pick at another blow to the carefully crafted shell he wore for the rest of the world.

as media day rolled around and the boarded their flight she stuck close to him, her fingers linked with his constantly as she questioned just how well he was going to wear that persona today. how much damage would each story he was forced to tell today do to him?

lando for the most part did what he needed to do, he wore the team name with a smile she knew didn't reach his eyes but the rest of the world would find beautiful anyway. "how are you holding up?" the question was loaded as she wrapped herself around him in a tight embrace, offering a beaming smile at the kiss he pressed to her nose, the driver determined to do everything he could to recharge in the small break he got for the day.

lando knew they were all waiting to tare him apart, he could see the doubt in each reporter's face when he had given his well rehearsed answers. but the guilt of clouding oscars win was genuine and he would do everything he could to back pedal that part at least. the team... well he didn't know how he felt about the team right now. "i'm tired, but eternally grateful that you're here you know?" he sighed as he lent on her with more of his body weight than he likely should be everything else was just so heavy he needed a minute to just, lean on her.

"want me to go into the next round of interviews? give me that cap and let me at em?"

lando could only raise a brow at her offer because he had been swiping her phone off her for the past two days to stop her from reaching out to post any of her thoughts and feelings on the weekend that had just gone. "no love, i think we're safer if you stick to being the best girl a guy could ask for." would he have been able to get through this weekend? he really wasn't sure. "is it mad i almost wish i could just say i didn't want to race this weekend?" he asked quietly, his thoughts just for her as his hands moved up and down her back a little.

she couldn't help the way her frown formed at the thought, she wasn't sure she had never known lando not want to race. ever. "don't let them win lando." not stella, not the media, not anyone that was doubting him at this point could undo what they were doing to him. how could they not see that? "you're p2 lan, you did that, not your team no one gifted you a damn fucking thing, you'd be much closer to p1 if you had a team that worked with you and this weekend was shitty but it doesn't define who you are as a racer ok?" that much she would not budge on.

letting his face soften lando nodded as he buried his head in her neck for a moment, taking in everything about her that kept him grounded. he truly didn't know what he would do without her here this weekend, press day was bad enough without the thought of having to do it all alone and the results this weekend. god if he won it was going to cause more harm for the team, more shit for osc, if he lost it was only going to validate everything that people had been saying to him about miami. "you're right i just...tell me you see me?" so much of this week already felt so perfectly crafted he needed to know, there was one person that still saw everything.

she felt her heart break all over again at the request and whilst it had been a long standing mission to make this man feel so loved, the desire to do so only increased as her eyes locked onto his ocean green ones. "lando norris, i see you, i adore every single part of you and i will protect you with every part of me do you understand, not a single thing that happens this weekend defines anything about you if it's outside of your control. do you see you too my love?" pressing to her toes she let her lips capture his softly, her nose scrunching at him slightly with a face that usually set him off into giggles.

today the slight chuckle he could muster for her was enough. "i'm working on it." seeing himself the way she did, was the hardest part of it all. "just a few more bits and we're out of here love." all he wanted was more time to sleep and wrap himself in her.

"i'm going to head to the hotel, get us pizza, get notting hill set up, text me when you're ten minutes away and i'll meet you in the shower?" she offered lightly as he reluctantly pulled away from her. "i'm going to kiss every single inch of you i love." and she'd do it on repeat all night till he believed her too.

giving a low groan lando nodded, the description of their evening his very definition of perfection when he was feeling like this. "i still do know what i did to deserve you, i shouldn't be too much longer and we'll all be being driven back." he nodded as he straightened himself out, making sure his hat was back in place as he looked out to where people were milling. "wish me luck baby?" he hesitated, fingers drumming on the door as he lingered to keep sight of her.

"you don't need luck baby, you're lando fucking norris."

*pics from landoupdates <3

[allgoodnamesrgoneee]

Hey! Can you do a Kylian imagine with a heavily pregnant reader who is having a hard time with her pregnancy. Just lots of fluff & supportive Kylian please

Baby Blues

Masterlist

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — Your husband loves taking care of you, especially now that you're pregnant

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — Husband!Kylian Mbappé x Wife!you

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 — 3.5k

Warnings! Fluff, soft Kylian, tough pregnancy, eating problems, insecurities, sad reader, Kylian being the best husband ever.

Pregnancy was a scam.

A total scam. There were so many things that were a surprise to you once you actually were pregnant, but one of the biggest surprises to me was just how hard it was on your body. It wasn't like you didn't think it would be hard. But this was hell.

Kylian and you had been trying for a year, and when you finally got the positive pregnancy test, you thought everything would be okay. You thought it would be a normal pregnancy and then you'd be able to hold your little baby in your arms.

But it was just too hard.

The morning sickness had been terrible. It didn't just stay in the mornings, and you'd been puking so much that you'd lost weight instead of gaining it. Something which which had your doctors and Kylian worried.

It'd gotten to the point where you couldn't even eat any more. The smell of food would make you sick. It made you sick just to think about it. You'd tried to hide it from Kylian at first. You didn't want to worry him, and you knew he was already worrying.

He'd always worried about you. He'd worried about you since the moment he met you, and he was going to continue to worry about you for the rest of his life.

It was sweet. It really was.

But sometimes, you just wished he'd stop worrying. Worrying so much was making him tired, and you knew he was going to be a father soon. He needed to get some sleep. So did you. You sighed and sat up in bed, looking around the dark room. The sun had barely risen. You could hear Kylian's snores coming from the other side of the bed. It made you smile.

You threw off the covers and stood up, heading to the bathroom. You weren't sure what time it was, but you were hoping it was close to breakfast time. Your stomach growled at the thought of food. You hoped that you could keep something down today.

Maybe some toast.

You opened the bathroom door and stepped inside, flipping on the light. The bathroom was large, and the shower was huge. There were multiple heads, so you could be pummeled with water from all angles. It was heavenly, sometimes being to keep your morning sickness at bay. The pressure feeling so good on your skin.

You flipped on the light and looked in the mirror. The girl looking back at you looked terrible. She was pale and thin and tired. You could the insecurities licking up your spine. How could he still love you when you looked like this.

You sighed and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water flow down your body. You moaned at the pressure of the jets your skin, and your eyes closed. You tried to ignore the thoughts racing through your head, but you just couldn't.

Why was he still with you? You were nothing like the girl he met. You were thin and tired and just plain ugly.

You tried to shake the thoughts away as you washed yourself off. When you were done, you stepped out and wrapped yourself in a towel. You brushed your teeth, making sure your breath smelled good and not like puke.

When you were done, you left the bathroom and headed to the bedroom. You pulled out a pair of shorts and Kylian's sweatshirt. You slipped them on and walked back to the kitchen.

You stopped in your tracks when you saw what was set up in the kitchen. There were flowers all over the table, and breakfast was made. Kylian was sitting at the table, sipping a cup of coffee. He looked up when he saw you.

When did he wake up? Why hadn't you heard him? And why did he look better than you did.

"Hey," he smiled at you. "I thought I'd make you breakfast. I didn't know what you were craving, so I made pancakes and eggs." He stood up and pulled out a chair for you. "I hope it's okay."

tears welled up in your waterline at his gesture. Fuck thses hormones. But you couldn't help it. Not when he was such a good husband, so good to you. He deserved better. He deserved the girl he fell in love with.

"It's perfect," your voice was shaky, so you masked it with a smile. "Thank you, babe."

He walked over to you, pulling you into a hug, his warmth melting you. "I'm glad you like it," he kissed the top of your head. "I missed you so much yesterday. I'm sorry I wasn't here for dinner." He pulled back and studied your face. "Are you okay? You were in the bathroom pretty long. Got me worried, pretty girl." Pretty girl. Yeah right. More like fat whale. You wanted to cry.

You nodded, letting him pull you down into a chair. "I'm good," you lied, forcing a smile. "I was just so tired last night. I didn't want to wake you up."

He nodded and kissed the top of your head again. He went back to the kitchen and brought you a plate of pancakes and eggs, along with a cup of tea. You smiled up at him and dug in. It was good. Really good.

He was a good cook. But you didn't want to eat much. You were terrified of getting sick in front of him. He'd been so stressed lately, and you didn't want him to worry more about you.

You took a few bites and then put the fork down, pushing your plate away. "Thank you," you said. "It was really good."

His eyes narrowed, studying your face. You knew you were lying. But you were good at it. Or at least, you thought you were.

He leaned over and grabbed your hands into his. He made sure he was eye level with you, his eyes searching yours. You met them and held his gaze. "Tell me the truth," he said.

"I don't want to eat," you said, your voice low. You hated lying to him. You always felt terrible after doing it. But he didn't need to know about how bad it was. He was stressed enough.

His face softened, and his hands squeezed yours. "Pretty girl, why won't you tell me?" His voice was soft and sweet. He really was such a good husband.

You shrugged your shoulders. You couldn't look at him. If you did, you knew you'd cry. "I just don't want to eat," you mumbled.

He sighed and leaned forward, grabbing your face into his hands. He made sure you looked at him before speaking. "You are my wife," he said, voice low and husky. "My wife, the mother of my child, and my best friend. I love you, and I'm so proud of you. But I can't be there for you if you don't tell me the truth. I need to know what's going on with you. I need to take care of you."

You wanted to cry at his words, at his softness. How could he love you so much when you were such a mess?

"I don't want to worry you," you said, your voice breaking. "You're already so stressed."

His eyes softened, and he pulled you into his arms. You went willingly, letting his warmth melt you. His arms were your happy place, and you knew you'd always be safe with him. He kissed the top of your head and held you close, stroking your hair. You breathed in his scent. It made you feel at peace.

"I love you," he whispered, his voice low. "I love you so much. You don't have to worry about me. I need to take care of you."

You sighed and nodded against him. "I'm sorry," you said. "I just can't eat right now. The smell of food makes me sick. I haven't eaten in days."

He held you closer, his arms tightening around you. He kissed the top of your head again and sighed. "I'm going to call a doctor," he said. "We'll figure this out, okay?"

You nodded against him and smiled. "Okay."

He pulled away and stood up, helping you stand. "Let's go back to bed," he said. "I'll call the doctor from there."

You nodded, letting him lead you back to the bedroom. You climbed into bed and watched him pick up the phone. He dialed a number and pressed send, holding the phone to his ear. You could hear the ringing of the other line.

He looked at you as he talked, his eyes soft. You could see the worry in them, but it only made you love him more. He was always so worried about you. You wanted to make it better, to make him not worry.

He hung up the phone and tossed it onto the bed. He sat next to you and took your hand into his. "I called the doctor," he said. "He said to bring you in to see him. I'm going to call his office now and tomorrow we're going, okay?."

You nodded and squeezed his hand. "I love you," you said, your voice low. He squeezed your hand back and leaned forward to kiss your lips. His lips were warm and gentle against yours. You sighed into his mouth and let him take control.

He kissed you deeper, his tongue slipping into your mouth. You moaned as he pulled away. You wanted more. But he just smiled and stood up, his phone in hand.

"I love you," he said. "I'll be right back."

You nodded and snuggled under the covers, closing your eyes. You knew you weren't going to fall asleep. Not with all the thoughts swirling through your head. You sighed and turned over, trying to clear your mind. You couldn't. Not when you kept thinking about how he'd said he was so proud of you.

It made you want to cry. He loved you. He truly, truly loved you. He was proud of you. You felt like you were anything but strong. But he still loved you. He still thought you were strong. That made you smile.

You sighed and rolled over, closing your eyes. You let your thoughts run away with you as you drifted off to sleep.

You woke up to Kylian shaking your shoulder. He had a smile on his face and looked so happy. You smiled up at him and sat up (with great difficulty), rubbing your eyes. "hi, beautiful," he said. "Get up the masseuse will be here soon."

You blinked up at him. What was he talking about? Who was the masseuse? He chuckled and ran a hand through your hair. "I thought it would be nice to have a spa day at home," he said. "I got you some scented oils and candles, and I hired a massage therapist. I thought it would help you relax." He smiled at you, his eyes soft. "Plus, I thought it would be nice to spend the day together. We can talk more about everything that's going on."

You wanted to cry at his words, at his sweetness. He was such a good husband, and you loved him so much. He always wanted to take care of you, and he wanted to be there for you.

"Okay," you whispered, voice raspy with sleep. He grabbed your hand and squeezed it. His eyes softened, and he kissed your lips. "Come on, babe," he said. "Let's get ready."

He stood and pulled you up with him. You wobbled on your feet, and he chuckled, his hands going to your hips. "Easy," he said. "I've got you." He held you close until you could stand on your own. Then, he let you go, only to grab your hand again. He led you out of the room, to the living room. You stopped in your tracks when you saw what was set up.

He had candles lit all around the room, and the scents of lavender filled your nose. There were towels and oils set up on a table, and the windows were open so there was a nice breeze. It was warm but not too hot.

"This is amazing," you said, smiling at him. He chuckled and kissed the top of your head. "I'm glad you like it," he said. "I wanted it to be perfect for you." He ran his hand down your back. "Now sit here and don't move." He instructed, as he helped you sit on the couch. A task that was now getting more and more difficult for you as your pregnancy moved along.

You nodded and sat down, watching him leave. You could hear him talking to someone on the phone, Then a few minutes later you heard the front door open.

"Hey," you heard him say. "Thanks for coming. She's on the couch. You can go ahead and set up."

You heard the front door shut, and then footsteps coming closer. You turned your head to see a woman coming towards you with him. She was gorgeous, with long brown hair and brown eyes. She was wearing a black top with what you guesse was her spa logo and black pants.

You hated the way your mind immediately went to wondering how you measured up to her. You felt like a fat whale, and she looked perfect. Kylian wouldn't be attracted to her, would he?

You sighed and forced your mind away from those thoughts. They were not healthy.

"Hey," Kylian said, walking over to you. "This is Ashley. She's the massage therapist I was telling you about."

You mustered a smile and smiled at her , trying to push aside your insecurities. Ashley returned the smile warmly, introducing herself and offering a handshake. Despite your initial self-doubt, you couldn't deny the genuine kindness in her eyes.

It made you feel horrible for the negative thoughts you had about her. You felt like a horrible person.

Ashley began setting up her equipment, chatting lightly with Kylian. You felt a pang at the smile he gave her. You knew you were being ridiculous. Kylian smiled at everyone. But in that moment you couldn't help but wonder if he wished he had a woman who was more like her.

"Y/N, baby are you okay? You spaced out." You blinked, bringing yourself back to the present. Kylian's voice was filled with concern, his eyes searching your face. You nodded quickly, trying to shake off the lingering doubts. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just a bit tired," you mumbled, offering a small smile.

He returned your smile, though the worry in his eyes didn't dissipate. He leaned down and kissed your forehead, his lips warm and comforting. "Just relax, pretty girl. Ashley is here to help you feel better."

You took a deep breath and nodded again. Ashley finished setting up and approached you with a kind smile. "We're going to start with a gentle massage, okay? If anything feels uncomfortable, just let me know."

You appreciated her calm demeanor and found yourself relaxing slightly. You lay down on the soft towels she had prepared, and Ashley began her work. The scents of lavender and chamomile filled the air, mingling with the gentle pressure of her hands on your aching muscles.

For the first time in a while, you felt a semblance of peace. Kylian sat nearby, watching over you with a protective gaze. You loved this side of him. Loved when he watched over you like he would do anything to keep you safe. He would.

You knew a long time ago you had picked the right man to be the father of your children. But everyday he makes you a little prouder of that decision. You couldn't wait to meet your baby. To watch him interact with her.

You had already gotten glipmses of their bond. How she would kick at the sound of his voice. How he would talk to your belly, whispering sweet promises and silly jokes. You knew he would be an amazing father, just as he was an incredible husband.

As Ashley continued the massage, you felt some of the tension in your body ease away. The soothing touch and the warm oils worked their magic, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to simply be. To exist in the present, without the weight of worries and fears pressing down on you.

Kylian sat close, every now and then, he would reach out to gently stroke your hair or squeeze your hand, silently reassuring you that he was there, that he had you.

"You're doing great, Y/N," Ashley said softly, her voice blending seamlessly with the calming ambiance of the room. "Just breathe and let yourself relax."

You followed her instructions, taking slow, deep breaths. With each exhale, you felt more of the stress melt away. The soft music playing in the background, the fragrant candles, and the tender care of both Kylian and Ashley created a bubble of tranquility that you hadn't felt in a long time.

Time seemed to slow down as the massage continued. You could almost forget the relentless nausea, the fatigue. You could even feel yourself getting a little hungry.

When the massage finally ended, you felt a profound sense of relief. Ashley helped you sit up slowly, her hands gentle and supportive. "How do you feel?" she asked with a warm smile.

"Better," you admitted, surprised at how true the word felt. "Thank you, Ashley. This was exactly what I needed."

"I'm glad I could help," she replied. "Remember to take it easy and stay hydrated. If you need anything else, don't hesitate to reach out." She patted your shoulder one more time before getting up.

As Ashley packed up her things and left, Kylian was by your side in an instant, helping you stand and guiding you back to the couch. He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close. "Do you feel better now, baby?" he asked softly, his eyes full of concern.

You nodded, resting your head against his chest. "Yes, much better," you whispered, feeling a sense of calm you hadn't experienced in weeks. "Thank you for this. It was perfect."

He smiled and kissed the top of your head. "You deserve it, Y/N. I just want to see you happy and healthy. And I know it's hard right now, but we're going to get through this together. Okay?"

You looked up at him, tears welling up in your eyes again, but this time, they were tears of gratitude and love. "Okay," you said, your voice trembling with emotion. "I love you, Kylian. So much."

"I love you too," he replied, holding you even tighter. "Now, are you hungry?"

You hesitated for a moment, unsure if you could handle eating. But the massage had genuinely helped, and you felt a glimmer of appetite returning. "A little," you admitted.

Kylian's face lit up with a hopeful smile. "Great! How about a cheese sandwhich? Nice and simple, just the way you like it."

You nodded, feeling a bit more confident. "Sounds good."

He kissed your forehead and stood up, heading to the kitchen. You watched him move with a grace that seemed effortless, and it warmed your heart. The man you loved was doing everything he could to make this easier for you, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of gratitude.

As you waited, you let yourself relax further into the couch, savoring the lingering sense of tranquility from the massage. The lavender scent still hung in the air, and you breathed it in deeply, feeling more at peace than you had in days.

Kylian returned shortly with the cheese sandwhich and a small cup of tea. He set it down on the coffee table in front of you and handed you a piece of the sandwhich. "Here you go, trésor."

You took the bread and nibbled on it cautiously. To your relief, the plain taste of cheese and bread was gentle on your stomach, and you managed a few more bites without feeling nauseous. Kylian watched you with a mixture of hope and concern, his eyes never leaving your face.

"This is good," you said softly, giving him a small smile. "Thank you."

He smiled back, the relief evident in his eyes. "I'm glad. You need to eat, even if it's just a little bit at a time."

You finished the toast and sipped on the tea, feeling a little more like yourself. The warmth of the tea spread through your body, soothing you from the inside out. You leaned back against the couch, feeling content in this small moment of normalcy.

Kylian sat down beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you close. You snuggled into his side, feeling his steady heartbeat against your cheek. It was a simple comfort, but it meant the world to you.

"Thank you for everything," you whispered, your voice barely audible.

He kissed the top of your head and held you tighter. "You don't have to thank me, Y/N. I'm just doing what I promised. To love you and take care of you, no matter what."

You closed your eyes, letting his words wash over you. Despite the challenges, despite the sickness and the doubts, you knew you were in this together. And in that moment, wrapped in his embrace, you felt peace beyond comprihension.

The road ahead might be tough, but with Kylian by your side, you knew you could face anything.

-Bianca🌻

[lucy90712]

Hey so for Jude Bellingham can you write like Jude cheating on reader, he is very distant with her and she tries to make plans or asks him things like how has ur day been but he either just gives her blunt replies or just completely ignores her. Reader finds out he cheated on her via his phone and she confronts him and she admits it. Then reader leaves him and moves on with someone else (not a footballer just someone random) and Jude regrets what he has done but it is too late. Like pure angst and please make it long! Thank you!

A/n: the timeline on this doesn’t really work but just ignore that

Part 2

Sitting in a restaurant alone waiting for someone to show up is embarrassing. It's even more embarrassing when people know who your boyfriend is and are very clearly judging you and thinking about what might be going on in your personal life. Then the most embarrassing part of it all is having to leave after sitting there for an hour. 

No text no call and no answer. After getting home from the restaurant I stayed up for as long as possible to try and wait for Jude to come home so I could ask him why he didn't show up to the date he planned and invited me on but by 3am he still wasn't home. The next morning he wasn't in bed but he had clearly been home and then left for training but he still hadn't even read the texts I sent him last night. He did post on his Instagram story which explained where he was, he was at a party with all of his friends. I'd love to say that's the first time he's done this but it isn't in fact he's done it countless times in the last few months. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Valentine's Day

Two hours ago I got ready in a cute dress and did my makeup ready to go out to dinner with Jude. He's been so busy recently so we haven't spent much time together but he promised me we'd spend Valentine's Day together, he got us a reservation at my favourite restaurant and told me to dress up. That's exactly what I did now I'm sat here still waiting for him to get home two hours after when he said he'd be home. 

It hurts to be left just waiting I was looking forward to tonight and getting to spend some time together as I've missed having him around. He made this move to Madrid out to be the best thing for us but ever since things just haven't been the same. He's always busy and when he's not he chooses to spend time with his teammates instead which I understand but at the same time he's neglecting me and our relationship. I tried to bring this up but he shut me down and promised to spend more time with me which is how we ended up with this date but clearly it's not that important to him. 

Close to 3 hours later Jude finally came home and looked at me incredibly confused when he saw me all dressed up. 

"Where are you going?" He asked 

"On a date with you remember you said we would go out for dinner because it's Valentine's Day" I said 

"I'm so sorry baby I completely forgot this week has been crazy I promise I'll make it up to you another day but I'm so tired is a movie night instead ok" he said 

"Yeah its ok" I lied 

Birthday 

As always I woke up to an empty bed and Jude having left for training. Today isn't any normal day though it's my birthday so all my friends are coming over and we are going to go out for lunch together then hopefully Jude and I can do something together this evening even if it's just watching something together on the sofa. When I grabbed my phone from my bedside table I had loads of messages from friends and family wishing me a happy birthday and my social media was filled with edits done by Jude's fans which were all so sweet. The only notable missing thing was a text from Jude but that's ok he might've been running late and forgot. 

I forgot about Jude as soon as my friends arrived as they all spoiled me far too much but I had so much fun with them. It was nice to be distracted from real life and stop worrying about when Jude will be home, if he will remember it's my birthday or if he still cares about me at all. Once I got back home Jude's car was already in the driveway so I smiled and happily made my way inside to see him. I wasn't expecting Vini and Eduardo to be over but there they were sat on the sofa playing video games with Jude. 

"Hey y/n happy birthday" Vini said 

"I didn't realise it was your birthday Jude didn't mention it but happy birthday" Eduardo said 

"Thanks guys" I said 

"Where have you been babe?" Jude asked still not saying happy birthday 

"I was with my friends they took me to lunch" I said 

"That sounds fun" Jude said going right back to his game 

His friends tried to leave saying he should spend time with me but he said it was fine and that I wouldn't mind so they stayed. While they all sat down stairs having more fun than I was I did some work with tears streaming down my face. My own boyfriend doesn't care about my birthday his teammates cared more than he did. 

Anniversary 

"Happy anniversary love" I said when I found Jude in the kitchen this morning 

"Happy anniversary" he said 

I tried to give him a kiss but he dodged it and went to start packing his things as he has an away game later today so he's leaving soon. 

"I'm sorry baby I've got to go I'll see you later though" he said as he left leaving me all alone yet again 

~~~~~~~~~~

Today is a day I always like to forget. Both of my parents died in a car accident two years ago today so it's always an emotional day for me and my siblings, we would like to spend it together to distract ourselves but as I'm in Madrid we can't do that. Instead my friends invited themselves over so that I'd have someone with me which made me feel so much better. They came over early so early that Jude was still here as he hadn't left for training yet. He was doing his own thing as the girls all sat with me and let me get out all my emotions now by telling them memories I have with my parents. 

"You know they'd be so proud of you" one of my friends said 

"I just wish they were here to see all the things me and my siblings have done all thanks to their constant encouragement" I sniffled tears still falling down my face 

"Why are you crying babe?" Jude asked as he walked down the stairs 

"Just thinking about my parents it's the anniversary of their death so I'm just a bit emotional" I said 

"I'm glad the girls are here to make you feel better then I'll see you later ok" he said 

With that he left and my friends all looked at me with an expression I didn't quite understand.

"How long has he been like that?" My best friend asked 

"Like what" I questioned 

"Like you don't matter he didn't even hug you before he left even after you told him why you were upset which he should know anyway dates like this are important for partners to remember" she said 

"I mean it's been a good few months he missed our Valentine's Day dinner he didn't wish me a happy birthday until like 5pm and we didn't do anything on our anniversary" I said finally thinking about how badly he's been treating me

"Girl he doesn't deserve you he's taking you for granted and you don't deserve that" one of the girls said 

"I hate to say this but you need to break up with him clearly he's given up on your relationship and now I might be wrong but wrong but it seems to me like he's found someone else" another said

They were right for months now I've been at the bottom of his priority list and he's nowhere near the Jude I used to know and love. There is no affection there anymore it's like the love we once had is gone. He also has definitely been distant and he's never home so there is a possibility that he could be cheating on me. That's a thought that I'd put in the back of my mind and didn't want to think about but now that someone else that has mentioned it I can't let the thought go. Whether he's cheating or not things definitely aren't how they used to be and I need to get out of this relationship before it's too late. The girls all offered their support and said I can stay with them for as long as I need which gave me the confidence to actually talk to Jude later today. 

When Jude arrived home all the girls left and they wished me good luck which I definitely need as I'm nervous to actually have this conversation even though it needs to be done. Jude went straight to get in the shower so I decided to look at his phone because he told me the password but I have never used it as I trusted him at least until now. It took just seconds of looking for me to find texts between him and this one girl who he had clearly been seeing for months now. He kept saying he would break up with me but the time wasn't right yet and that he wasn't in love with me anymore which hurt to see. I wanted to cry but I held back my tears and instead just sent myself screenshots of everything and then deleted the evidence so he wouldn't know that I knew. 

After his shower Jude took ages to come back downstairs but when he finally did he was looking at his phone and smiling it made me wonder if he was talking to her the girl he'd apparently fallen for. He quickly noticed me staring at him and he just stared back not having a clue what was going on. 

"Jude we need to talk" I said 

"Oh ok is everything alright?" He asked 

"I'm just gong to say it I know what you've been doing and don't lie to me I have screenshots I just want to know when you fell out of love and why you did this instead of just ending things" I said barely holding back tears 

"I don't know it all just happened I'm sorry I should've handled this better I didn't want to hurt you but clearly I haven't done a good job of that" he said 

"Yeah you really have hurt me I should've known when you forgot about our valentines reservations but I was foolish and believed that you were just busy now I know you were with another girl" I said 

"I'm sorry" he said 

"I don't believe you Jude if you were sorry you wouldn't have let this go on for so long it's safe to say we are over I wish you well but please don't try and contact me again I need to just move on" I said 

With that I gathered my things and just left. I left my key, the memories and what felt like half my heart but it had to be done I had to get out of there before I got hurt any more. It's time to move on and start a new life with people around me who truly care about me. 

~~~~~~~~~~

1 year later 

"Come on amor let's go" Carlos called from downstairs 

"Coming" I said running down the stairs 

"Oh wow you look gorgeous" Carlos said 

"Thank you you look good too" I said 

He kissed my cheek and grabbed my hand so we could head out to the car that was outside to pick us up. Just a few days ago Carlos won the French open so we are going out to celebrate. I met Carlos not long after I broke up with Jude I wasn't even looking to date but I just happened to meet him on a night out with my friends and we just clicked. He understood that I wasn't ready to date properly but he didn't give up on me so when I was ready we went on a date and the rest is history. My plan definitely wasn't to date another athlete in fact I wanted to just have a normal life and date a normal guy but I couldn't just let Carlos go and I'm glad I didn't. We have been together officially for 6 months now and they have been the best 6 months of my life he always treats me right and he makes it known how much he loves me. 

Carlos has a lot of friends in Madrid so he decided to come here and celebrate his win with me and my friends as well as his before he goes back home to be with his family. There wasn't really any time to prepare anything so we are all just meeting at a club in town that isn't just open to the public so there shouldn't be lots of people there. All our friends were already there when we arrived as we got caught in a bit of traffic but they didn't seem to mind our lateness they congratulated Carlos on his win and we all went inside. 

As we walked down the stairs all my friends turned to me at once and I wondered what was going on for a second until I saw what they had seen. Jude was right there along with a few of his teammates. I haven't seen him since our breakup which is somewhat of a miracle seeing as I still live and work in Madrid and he has become part of the city. I knew one day we'd meet again I was just hoping it wouldn't be in a day like today I don't want to be thinking about him or to talk to him while celebrating Carlos as tonight shouldn't be about me or my past relationship. Carlos knows everything that happened so once he saw Jude his hand reached for mine and he gave it a comforting squeeze which made me feel a little bit better. The thing is I don't miss Jude at all I'm so much happier now but what he did still hurts me so seeing him for the first time since is a bit painful. 

"We can go somewhere else if you want" Carlos said 

"No it's ok tonight is your night plus he shouldn't affect my life now that's the past you are my present and future" I said 

"Ok as long as you're sure but you are sticking by my side all night" he said 

Jude's POV

"Is that y/n?" Vini asked 

Him saying that caught my attention so I looked in the same direction as him and there she was with all her friends and a guy by her side. I recognised the guy as Carlos Alcaraz the tennis player who just won the French open and a the guy y/n has been dating for at least the last few months. I found that out when late at night after we lost a big game I stalked her Instagram and saw a photo of them together on her private account that she forgot to remove me from. Since that night I have kept an eye on her Instagram I usually check it at least once a week to see what she's been doing and how happy she is without me. 

Since the night that she broke up with me I regretted making all the dumb choices I made that led to that point. Within days I broke things off with the other girl I was seeing and I have been alone ever since I just can't bring myself to see anyone else because they aren't y/n. It sounds stupid because I'm the one that ruined everything I'm the reason she's with Carlos and not me but she was the one I just didn't realise how much I loved her until she was gone. My mum has always told me not to take things for granted as once they are gone you'll realise their true value and that's exactly what I did with y/n I didn't realise just how important she was to me until I made some stupid decisions and let her go. 

I watched her with Carlos for a while and she seemed genuinely happy which made me realise that she hadn't been that happy with me for a long while before we broke up. It was clear to see that she loved him and I could tell that he loved her too because he looked at her the way I did when we first got together. It hurt to see her so happy with someone else because I know I could've had that but now I won't get to share any moment like that with her ever again. I deserve everything that has come to me I made bad choices and as much as I regret them now it won't change anything. 

I have to let her go because for her to be happy I need to not be in her life as much as that hurts. They say if you love her let her go and that's what I need to do let the one go because as much as she might've been the one for me I'm not the one for her. 

[princessfbi]

bucktommy + “come here”

Bucktommy

"Come here."

No matter how many times Tommy did it, Buck didn't think he'd ever get used to the slight thrill that rushed through him when Tommy's fingers tucked under his chin and lifted his head.

He just wished it was under different circumstances. The wide worry in the cobalt blue that Buck could've sworn were one eyelash bat away from sweeping him up like a hurricane turned icy and hard in an instant. Fury rippled through Tommy's expression as his movements turned stilted and uncompromising, shifting Buck's chin further up and to the side so he could get a better view of the bruises. The same bruises he'd been hoping to put off from showing his boyfriend for as long as possible.

But after three months of going slow before becoming official, there wasn't much Buck could hide from his boyfriend these days.

It was usually something he loved. Tommy made him feel seen in a way he didn't know he wanted to be seen until one night in his kitchen during quiet confessions and a similar instance of Tommy's fingers tucked under his chin.

Tommy wasn't kissing him then though. In fact, besides the firm weight of his fingers, he looked almost... devastated. Resigned.

"He did this to you?" It was a question even if Tommy didn't say it like it was. Buck pulled away from the prop of Tommy's fingers and ducked his chin down as he cut his eyes to the floor.

"It's not a big deal." He tried to step back so the lie wouldn't land on Tommy and stain him too. But Tommy's hands, his big beautiful hands, curled over his waist and pulled him back to him.

"Evan!" Tommy's eyes flashed with something Buck couldn't quite catch but that was probably because he was still too busy being starstruck by the way Tommy said his name.

He loved how Tommy said his name. Like it mattered. Like it was important. The only other people who ever managed to handle the weight of his name without the normal strain had been Maddie and Eddie and they had witnessed to all the ways life had added more pressure to the load.

Tommy said his name like it was effortless.

Still, Tommy sounded upset and that was the last thing he wanted to do so he shook his head and met his gaze again.

"It's really nothing. I should've been watching where the hose line was."

Tommy's brow arched and Buck could see he didn't believe him. "The hose line? Seriously?"

Buck leaned into Tommy's hold and settled his hands on his chest, rubbing up and down so Tommy knew that Buck was fine. Really. He was fine.

"I clipped my face on an open compartment door. Hen checked me out. Nothing's broken. I promise that I'm fine. It's just a little bruise. It's nothing I can't handle."

Anger flared in Tommy's expression again as his jaw ticked. "You shouldn't have to."

And no, he shouldn't. Buck should have been coming home from a shift where his muscles were sore but his heart and stomach were full from another shift in the greatest job he'd ever had where Bobby was his captain and they had family dinners that didn't feel like hostage situations.

But everything would get fixed. Bobby would figure how to get back to his team and they would be waiting for him. He had to believe that.

Buck thought about pretending like he didn't see exactly what had taken root in Tommy's worry. But Tommy wasn't the only one who could see things other's couldn't.

"Baby," Buck said as he cupped his cheek. "You got out."

"He's doing this to you because of me." Tommy bit out.

"He's doing this because we aren't scared of him." Buck corrected. "None of us are."

They'd all been practically daring Gerrard to suspend them. Hen had been the first to point out how it wouldn't be so easy to get rid of them now that the chief had made a media frenzy of their crew. Gerrard may have been in charge but they didn't bend like they used to under the sharp oppression of his command. They clashed into a bruising, straining stalemate that didn't have an end date anytime soon.

But the team would hold. It's what Bobby would've wanted.

That didn't mean Gerrard didn't make their life a living hell.

Tommy frowned as he let out a long breath from his nose, his hands coming up to circle Buck's wrists so he could kiss the bolt of his palms.

"Ice," Tommy said decisively. "You need ice so I can kiss you properly."

Buck grinned despite the pain that pulsed along his cheek where he was sure the purpling bruise looked worse than it was.

Gerrard could say or do whatever he wanted to Buck. It wouldn't change the fact that, at the end of the day, Buck had Tommy to come home to and could kiss wherever he wanted. And Buck would do whatever it took to keep Tommy away from the dark cloud that was his former boss. The same boss who made him so afraid to be seen that he'd hid for years.

Buck would take a million bruises to the face before he ever let that happen.

[thebestsetter]

Thinking about Inumaki Toge being insecure about his speech (or the lack of thereof).

I feel like if he could trade a year of his life for sixty seconds without his cursed speech, he would. Without second thought. And specially because of you.

He's had a crush on you for a while (ever since your first encounter), but he'd never admit it. Not because he's scared of rejection, but because he's scared you'll reciprocate his feelings. Because he thinks you deserve better. Actually, scratch that: he knows you deserve better. You deserve someone so much better than him.

"And then you won't believe what he said! He said: 'I can't date you, cause I'm actually your brother!'"

"No way! That's the plot of the movie? How shitty!"

You deserve someone like Yuta. Someone who can make you laugh with their own words, someone who you don't need to strugle to understand what they're saying. Right now, you and Okkotsu are talking about some bad movie he watched. And you're laughing so hard and your laugh is so pretty it makes him wanna laugh too. He wants to engage on the conversation. He wants to say: "That's one of the worst plots I've ever seen! I can take you to the movies to see a real good movie if you'd like to"

But he can't. He can't, but Yuta can. He should let you go so you can be with someone who deserves you. He has no right to be this selfish, making you a slave of a love without any words of affection.

It feels like everytime he looks at you, there's a nagging voice in the back of his head, painfully reminding him that he can't be with you, and there's nothing he can do about it. It's an impossible love.

Hell, even Panda is making him feel envious and jealous. Even though he's literally a panda, at least he can talk to you. Sing your favorites songs with you. And he can't. At least not without cursing someone (and, God forbid, maybe even you. You're the last person he wants to harm)

He wanted you to confide in him just like how you confide in Maki. You always tell her everything. He wishes he, too, could be a source of relief. A shoulder you can rely on. But he can't. He can't, cause the best he could say in that situation is "Salmon", "Caviar" and other stupid onigiri ingredients that have nothing to do with the actual topic of the conversation. Honestly, he would be tired of himself if he was his friend. You don't have the obligation to understand his dialogue. Nobody does.

So, he comes to the conclusion that he should just avoid you. He should give up on loving you, because he doesn't want you to suffer.

"Toge, please! We haven't talked in days! Why did you suddenly stop talking to me?"

He stays silent. That's the only thing he can do, after all. He can't speak. He can't. But he wishes he could. He wishes he could tell you everything that's going through his head, tell you about how he feels like dying when he sees you playing a game with Itadori and Nobara because he knows he'll never be capable of doing that with you normally. If he speaks now, everything that'll come out of his mouth are foods. Speaking now would only remind him about the drift that exists between you both (and there's two options to avoid anyone's fall: you either close the gap or you widen it. He chose the latter)

"..."

"Inumaki, talk to me" (how sad. You want him to do exactly the only thing he can't do. That just makes him remember that he'll never be enough for you. Never)

Also, wow. You're using his last name. He got in a really bad situation, huh? How will he get out of this? How will he stop your (and also his) suffering?

There's only one way. And even though he swore that he'd never use his spell against you, he finds himself lowering his scarf with trembling hands.

"Leave. And don't look back."

~A/N: This is the fic I wrote that I mentioned on my last post!! I know a lot of people have writen abt this b4, so this is inspired by other stories I've read (if you've written something like this and want me to credit you, feel free to send me an ask!!). IT JUST FITS INUMAKI CHARACTER SO MUCHHH!! Like, I can totally imagine him being insecure about not being able to speak. I just thought I should give it a try cause I CAN'T FIND INUMAKI STUFF, so I took matters into my own hands. I don't realy like this, but I thought it would be a waste to not post it anyway

Masterlist

[cvnt4him]

i would request monoma x reader bc I'm literally going crazy about him but idk-- OMG NVM MONOMA X KIND/SOFT READER

BITCH ME TOO WHEN I TELL YOU HE FR GOT ME FOAMING OUT THE MOUTH LIKE IM A RABID ASS DOGGGG.

You know you wrong as hell for that picture tho.. bc why he look so goofy, bones js doing my man wrong this season😞

...........................................

*˖°My heart.°˖*

...........................................

"I don't get what you even see in him, my love."

Mina scolds as she finishes crocheting your last butterfly loc into your hair.

It was 4 AM, you both had school in a couple hours and she had been doing your hair since 12 o'clock. Your head was pounding and was going to be throbbing for the next week. You can only imagine how bad it'll be once you put your hair into a ponytail...

You sigh from relief knowing that was the last braid you had to endure. She puts muse all over your hair, the soft yet cold air like foam covering your hair as she gently slides her hands down each braid costing it in the pleasant and calming scented hair applicator.

You stand and stretch deciding to just put your bonnet on without putting your hair up so you can just head straight to bed, not that you'd get much sleep since school started in like what less than an hour and a half? What's the point in even trying to sleep.

"he makes me laugh. he's a gentleman, he--"

"gentleman my ass."

She cuts you off with a scoff straightening up all of the things she used to do your hair, putting them away and washing the icky foam texture off of her hands.

"okay first of all, don't you ever in your life; he's a sweetheart, really he is. and I don't need you questioning my choices, you're like a sister to me so please for the love of God just fucking trust my choices for once, yeah?"

She hums and rolls her eyes putting her bonnet on and getting under her leopard printed covers. She sighs and wishes you a good night as you leave and head back to your dorm.

All you could think about while getting ready for school was how rude mina was. Sure he was quite unpleasant to your classmates but he's a sweet guy to you!! Well no.. he's just less of an asshole. You noticed that Everytime he would say some smartsss remark to your peers he wouldn't say anything even remotely bad to you. He wouldn't even look at you. It's like there was something about you that just made him go silent.

The way you looked at him however, that was a game changer. He would get all stuttery over his words and just get flustered to the point he'd live without kendo needing to assist. (Knocking his hardheaded ass out)

You figured he had a crush on you which you were completely alright with due to you reciprocating his feelings! He was so beautiful and rather charming in his own way. He was distinguished and quite dashing!!!

You had no idea how people could just say such mean things to him!!

You finish off your look with a silver necklace that makes everything pop so beautifully. Your many rings matching indefinitely. You wore a white turtle neck and a pastel pink plaid skirt with white opaque tights on underneath. Baby pink Mary Jane's accompanying your soft aesthetic.

Being in college was fun for you, the party's the sleepovers the random socks on other people's dorm handles. It was an interesting experience, one of the greatest parts about it was how you could wear whatever you wanted! No dress code, no uniforms just your own unique style!

You walked with a sway to your hips as you made it to your class, to your surprise seeing how there were different students there than normal.

You look around and see groans and laughter coming from somewhere, you turn your head out the classroom door to see some of your friend and peers angry and uncomfortable whilst a manically laughing monoma boasts about something.

Mina sees you and lights up nodding her head in monomas direction telling you in girl talk or whatever the fuck to "get your fucking man before I have kirishima walk him like a damn dog."Her eyes saying more than enough.

You chuckle which catches others attention, including monomas. He turns with a raised brow to see you, his eyes widening and a pinky tint slightly becoming visible on his features.

"hello, neito."

He clears his throat and turns to you dusting off his outfit and giving you a small grin looking to the ground, unable to hold eye contact.

"hi y/- ahem. Y/n."

His voice cracked whilst he tried saying your name instantly making him get flustered and asking a loud and entertained kirishima have a belly laugh.

Monomas turns to them and instantly shouts at them calling them "Imbeciles" and "incompetent losers" and such, the way he spoke with such sophisticated mannerisms was just amusing to you, even while arguing and being angry with people he disliked he still manages to not use foul language and be somewhat civilized. It's quite neat.

You giggle catching his attention again, he turns to you and bows his head lightly with a smile as an apology.

"what are you up to, neito?"

You ask with a tilt to your head.

"who me?! I- uhm-- y'know the usual, classes are just taking over my brain at the moment, haha!"

He jokes, making you giggle again. God you were so cute to him, the way you innocently giggled or laughed at anything, the way you dressed to adorably like an innocent little girl was oddly compelling to him.

"i see you've gotten your hair done. It looks very nice, y/n."

He says to you nodding his head to your hair, the way you had little sparkles raying off of it and how you had little star shaped clips in your locs just completes your outfit.

"awh thank you neito!! You're so sweet!"

You jump into his arms with a hug, snuggling your nose into his shirt. He blushed intensively, getting stiff and tense underneath your touch. You did such foul things to him, making him flustered and blushy like this. He never felt this way for anyone, he always wanted to be a hero and show everyone that he was just as capable of doing things his former class rivals could.

He slowly wrapped his arms around your shorter figure leaning his head down and resting it on your head, his nose burying itself into your locs and smelling the sweet smell radiating off of them.

It was an unfamiliar smell to him, yet it was so intoxicatingly sweet. Like he'd smelled it before, or like it was just something he couldn't resist. A smell he was sure he wanted to take over his senses all the time. For the rest of his life even.

The hug lasted quite some time, an angry kirishima faux clearing his throat to end the long hug. Mina rolled her eyes and nudged him, she didn't like monoma really, but if you had then she'd just have to thug that shit out. For your sake.

You pulled away first, having monoma realize where he was, which was not in a perfect mansion with a beautiful rose garden, white picket fence, and a golden retriever running around with happy and cheerful barks.

He looks down at you ass you peer up at him with beautiful eyes, the way they shine so brightly even without sunlight raying into them, the way you bat your eyelashes at him and smile innocently.

He blushed while staring deep into your eyes. Fuck he'd just imagined a whole entire life with you, making you his wife and you have his kids.

You were evil and putting him under your spell. Your evil, wicked, enchanting, perfect, beautiful, absolutely breathtaking spell. Wait what?!

He got flushed and hid his face with his hand as he looked away, his other hand still on your waist.

You put one of your hands on his neck causing him to snap his neck to look right back to your face. You look down at his chest and rub your other hand up and down it and slowly look back up to him. You smile and move your hand that was once in his neck to his flushed cheek.

He wss going to kiss you. Fuck he was actually going to kiss you, finally, after having a huge crush on you for all these years you were going to kiss him. He'd finally make you his!

"AHEM. So yeah uh, we have to get to class, right y/n? Wouldn't want kids to catch you guys Frenching in the middle of the hallway while classes are in right? Right?"

Kirishima interrupts, making up an excuse to get you away from him.

Mina face palms herself while pulling kirishima away from the two of you. Monoma watching while he gives kirishima an evil, shit eating grin. Kirishima was practically foaming out of the mouth like a raccoon with rabies.

You simply giggle before letting him go. No no no, that's not what was supposed to happen! Why'd you let him go?!

"he's right, we should get to class."

You say quietly, never taking a step back still being rather close to him, peering up at him with wide eyes and offering him a smile.

He sighs and looks away. He was extremely disappointed. Why'd that shitty shark toothed fucker have to get in his way? You were finally going to kiss him.

"but, we can hang out later, if you'd like."

"yes!-- I uhm.. yes, I would like that, if you would."

He answers quickly, before stumbling on his words and saving himself from eternal embarrassment, not that toud ever make fun of him. He was cute, and flushy. Most people didn't get to see him like that not even kendo. You were honored and wnsted to spend more time with him. So you agreed. The two do you made plans and agreed to meet and have lunch, he'd take you to see a movie and you'd go out on dinner dates.

He had so many plans for the two of you. And once you start dating you better believe you're not allowed to be around anyone without him, not that he's jealous.. he's jealous. He's so jealous, he hates anyone that's not him being in your presence. He loves you! More than anything and anyone.

He holds you with grace, being so gentle with you throughout everything. Making sure you don't have tod I anything, not lift a single finger. He holds you tight at night making you feel safe and warm. He loves matching with you, and eating with you, and doing anything to ensure everyone knows you're his. He isn't insecure or anything but he's not oblivious to the rather hot people that swarm your school. He has a hard time reassuring himself that you only have eyes for him!

You're so kind and nice to everyone it's hard to believe you're his girlfriend. Seriously, no one believes you two, but you are. You're his and he's yours. No doubt about it, he'd choose you over the world.

He loves showing you off, boasting and bragging about how cute you are, how you're his girlfriend and how no one can ever even compare to you. How your skin glows in the sunlight without any help. How you're so strong and are better than anyone who ever existed. You can be a bit of an airhead at times, he even teases you about it, but let someone dare say some shit about you, he's ready to throw words. Something tells me hes not the best at hand to hand combat..

Anyways, he loves you dearly, he makes sure to tell you constantly. He doesn't want you feeling like you're less than perfect. He has standard, rather high ones too, and you meet them to a tee.

...........................................

AN: this is x black!reader bc I js got my hair done and I've become kinda obsessed w him so. Yeah!!! I'm definitely making more monoma and tenya content bc they've recently been clouding my head. Anyways love laugh love monoma!!!

This is kind of all over the place so come back later for more and much better content including him.

[colliope]

How date-able are twst boys? ♡

inspired by @sunsguilt

Features all chars, and gets pretty suggestive btw. Otherwise mostly crack +fluff

a/n: my first writing! I hope u enjoy :) if not then go die i guess

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋ ♡Heartslabyul ♡

Riddle Rosehearts - I don't ljke him. If we're talking pre-overblot he'd banish you to that headlock thing with his unique magic if you ever tried to ask him out or flirt with him. Post-overblot hed be really shy in getting into a relationship but wants to be cared for and protected. But he's not standing up for u in front of his mom tho you'll have to deal with her urself

6/10 he’s a sweet boy, just too bossy and not assertive enough to his mom. Divorceablity is quite high with this one.

Cater Diamonds - low-key relatable to me. BUT. His slang gets annoying after a while. His constant posting without peoples permission is weird too. Picture this. He's meeting your family for the first time, and you sit to have dinner. Cater takes a pic of you guys and posts it with the caption "With bae their fam, I'm a bit nervous guys wish me luck!🥺"#girldad #boymom #saveme Your family assumed it's his humor. WRONG. It's his way of coping with his uncomfortability. When it's silent during dinner he says" OH EM GEE GIRLYPOPS!!!, this food is so SLAY💅!! Tysm bestiessss" Your family gives him the nastiest side eye. He never speaks again. 

7/10 he seems to be a pretty sweet and understanding person, just needs better ways to express himself . Also he calls your mother queenie.

Trey Clover - he’s an interesting guy. You'll typically see him as an npc, but he's much more than that. Have you seen his *tips fedora * "m'lady" stare?? Yeah there's definitely something strange going on there. He's a pretty family oriented guy tho, and he loves to bake for his s/o and to provide comfort and care.

8/10 he's probably one of the more normal ones that I would actually date. Or be friends with. Just keep one eye open when your sleeping with ur with him tho

Ace Trappola- I don't understand how someone could even like him. He's the kinda kid to push you off the swing during recess and when you tell the teacher he'll go like "NUH UH!! THEY HIT ME FIRST!!" . Plus he's canonically not a good partner lmaoooo

3/10 he’s not even a middle schooler. Too pebble brained. Don't date a gremlin like him. maybe if he finds someone like him he might maintain a steady relationship.

Deuce Spades- no thoughts head empty. He needs a little direction in life but he's got a goal in mind. He's a lil stupid but he's getting there. He's such so sweet and silly you have to love him. But he needs to mature a bit before entering a long term relationship 

6/10 not my type, I would go for his mom instead. Plus his dad is literally dr.eggman, that explains everything. but yeah he's got what It takes, be kind to him. He's fragile. Like an egg.

ᓚᘏᗢ Savannaclaw ᓚᘏᗢ  

Leona Kingscholar - girl he is 21 years old he should be in the CLUB!!!!! But no. He's sitting alone eating Kentucky fried chicken alone on a Friday night. If he really wanted someone, he could go for it, but he seriously can't be bothered. If you do manage to get him attached to you it'll take him a while to fully love you as much as you love him, as well as put in the same amount of effort .

7/10- I don't think he genuinely needs a partner. He's got his own issues to sort out. But when he falls, he falls hard. I wonder how hard his abs are.

Ruggie Bucchi - Rugbartholomew !!!! The scrunkly. The scrimp. It'll be so fun horsing around with this guy. Being his s/o is like being his partner in crime. It'll be fun, and you guys support each other . He really cares abt his loved ones and always tries to bring something to the table for them, literally and metaphorically. Midnight runs to seven eleven. He's working 10 jobs at a time. He's EMPLOYED. He's a boyemployee. He just needs his girlboss to complete him.

5/10 he's a bit scummy tbh. It'll take him a while to fully trust someone. He’d do some sleazy things for money. It also gives you the ick when he smells donuts and starts floating towards them.

Jack Howl- he's surprisingly normal. He's got a set sleep schedule , he's healthy, he has set routines, and healthy coping mechanisms. But that's the thing. as much as he is such a caring and gentle lover, these routines take up most of his life and time. He would be waking you up at ungodly hours for a morning jog only for you to pass out midway to Mount Kilimanjaro. .

7/10 -he dates for marriage, and he’s really serious about his future and starting a family. So he’s such a loyal and protective guy. He's just too much of a gym bro. He prefers pre-workout over partners. Also he unironically likes alpha/werewolf quotes.

𓆝𓆟𓆜 Octivinelle 𓆝𓆟𓆜

Azul Ashengrotto- I love him so much. He's so me guys you don't get it (capitalism) but that aside, HES SO DAMN WEIRD LMAOOOOOO like he thinks he has rizz but he just looks like a Reddit 'nice guy'. Legitimately says m'lady. He gives off the fake dating trope to me. He'd date you to get something out of you but then actually fall hard bc he's touch starved and longs to feel emotionally vulnerable but is afraid of it. So he's an absolute mess in a relationship and needs a lot of reassurance. But yeah he's pretty bitchless 

7/10 he's gorgeous, but he sounds like that one pufferfish singing thing. I relate to him a lot so he gets points. Also since his parents are divorced he definitely has a high divorceability. I have a theory in the works that since we don't know who his biological father is, it might just be Mr. Krabbs. Like it's never said he's a full octopus (to my knowledge). SpongeBob and squidward are Floyd and Jade respectively. SpongeBob X twisted wonderland when?

Floyd Leech- he drank battery acid as a baby. Like dude you're in love with a nuclear fission bomb. If you like Floyd, you're just as fucked up as he is. It's okay tho, he's a very physically affectionate guy and may be overly possessive and obsessive but that's just his charm dw abt it. He also does thing like "if you hug me, expect a little nibbling on your earlobe 😝" and he bites off your entire ear.

2/10 his kisses taste like fish and sheet metal, and he licks short peoples heads when no one's looking. 

Jade Leech- if you saw him eat mushrooms well no you didn't because if he eated mushrooms then he would have not eating mushroom bc no . His version of love is psychological warfare . He’s a mysterious guy. Let's set a scenario for him. You're sitting in the monstro lounge. You see a tall, dark and handsome man across the bar with a mysterious aura. You catch his gaze and quickly dart your eyes away. But his never stop staring at you. He comes up to you and you guys chat naturally . He buys you a drink, your favorite actually. He knows all the ways to make you swoon. He’s so dreamy. Then he says that he put cyanide in your drink as joke. Then he lets it slip he's been stalking you for days. You find out his a wanted criminal. And end scene. Yeah that's romance with him. 

4/10 he's an attentive and observant guy, but sadly that's way before you guys are dating and he's a psych ward escapee.

𓄼𖣠 Scarabia 𖣠𓄹

Kalim Al-Asim - OTTERRRR!!! I love otters. He’s like deuce. But rich. And more innocent(ignorant). He’s so head over heels for his s/o bro. He’d shower them with his love and gifts. He still has a lot to learn in life, but he's willing to give it all to you. You should be honored.

6/10 he's my son. Treat him well. I can’t forgive him for what he did to Jamil tho. 

Jamil Viper- AWWHH YEAH BABY!!! He’s so Fine oml. But personal bias aside, he's very much insane. He’s just a closeted insane.pre-overblot he wouldn't even date u bro he would pretend u don't exist but then hate u being around Kalim. Post-overblot he accidentally avoids you because he has no idea how to express or hide his feelings for you. Okay but definitely has w rizz. Azul seethes at the sight him. Like chewing up his fedora and spitting it out type shit. Men wish they were Jamil. 

8/10 he's so wifey, he can cook he can clean  I will give him a ring if u don't. Minus points for the attempted murder, but still he's pwetty so I forgive him (*^ω^*) . He probably once got hit in the head with a basketball with you looking.

⊹𖥔˖࣪ Pomefiore⊹𖥔˖࣪ 

Vil Schoenheit - okay this one's hard cus he's literally just my mother. But more fierce diva cunty. I've been sleeping on his character ngl, but now that I think about it he's pretty relatable. Like everyone wishes to be beautiful, in some sort of way. I think in a relationship he'll need some reassurance about his looks, but also about it his partner only wants him for his looks. I don't think he actually has high standards, he would probably want someone pretty normal, but also takes good care of themselves, not just appearance-wise.

8/10 he's pretty good as an s/o, but the fame aspect will make things very difficult. Also expect him to be brutally honest with you or pick apart your appearance. He's just trying make sure u look ur best bro he's caring like that. Would make an excellent rupauls drag race judge.

Rook Hunt - I have sent a nuke to your exact coordinates. Why would u want him bro he’s Fr*nch AND a felon. There's no good aspects of this relationship he has negative rizz and his fucking bob makes him look like SpongeBob took the gay potion from the dark web at 3 am. also, he's already mentally married you and has your wedding dress prepared as well as a loan taken out for your new family home before you even know his name. 

0/10 Mr Electric KILL HIM!!! Probably the kinda guy to post a selfie captioned "who want me" and then before epel can reply "the mental hospital " his post gets taken down due to mass reporting and his account gets suspended and he's put on an fbi watchlist.

Epel Felmier- ngl mood bro. It's so annoying being seen as fragile and weak simply for your inherent femininity.I believe in a relationship he'd want someone that tells him what he wants to hear. He'll have some trouble accepting some facts, especially with his anger issues, but he'll learn to sort that out. He's a sweet boy at heart. He just feels he needs to overcompensate due to his appearance.

6/10 I'm not an anger issues kinda guy. It takes resilience to deal with, something i don't have for that. He probs listens to red pill podcasts while on a tractor. He's a 14 year old boy who just discovered Andrew Tate (he's deathly afraid of women)

��꒦꒷Ignihyde꒷꒦꒷

Idia Shroud- no. I have no idea how you could have feelings for him if you've never seen him. And definitely not online bc 1. He would never engage in that 2. Theres nothing romantic about the call of duty lobby. Also another guy with negative rizz. But not like in the creepy way like rook but in a loser way. He genuinely believes he is unfit for a relationship and that he is undeserving of love. If somehow he finds someone like that he'd be attached to them until the day he dies.

8/10 I love me a loser boy. He def has trust issues and paranoia but who doesn't in this game. He's rich so he could spoil u with the battle pass for literally any game. Plus ortho ends up becoming your little brother too. It's a win-win. Also don't ask him if the carpet matches the drapes.

Ortho Shroud- would probs hire u to date his brother out of genuine fear the dude would be alone for the rest of his life.

𓆩 ♡ 𓆪Diasomnia𓆩 ♡ 𓆪

Malleus Draconia - his prehistoric charm and awkward demeanor had captivated you, it seems. But yeah he's the kinda guy to say lines like "For the world could be dying and I would have never noticed it because I would have been not paying attention to the world itself, but would be gazing into your eyes watching them shine like the stars". He's soooo down bad. he's so happy to finally have someone to love him. Very very very loyal. But sometimes toes the line of yandere. 

9/10 he's so wonderful. All he wants is to love and be loved. But he still thinks of romance in this Victorian ages and gets hard when he sees your ankles or sumn.

Lilia Vanrouge- this Gent a wee bit peculiar innit? He has connections within the furry community that could destroy your life in seconds. He's everything. He’s everywhere. All at once. He genuinely has dabbled in many different things over the years , so he'll never run out of stories to tell. Many 3 am Minecraft dates. Those upside down  Spider-Man kisses. He’s more than ready to settle down with someone have kids of his own. Maybe have a girl. Name her draculaura, you know the rest. He probably went to monster high ngl. But he's a much more mature kinda guy. Definitely knows what he wants in a relationship. He's reasonable too. But you guys don't sleep in the same bed he hangs from the ceiling in a sleeping bag.

9/10 he's a bit vertically challenged and sometimes summons ancient demons by accident. He whispers sweet nothings into your ear in forgotten languages.

Silver - he's the female gaze bro. He's gorgeous . He’s legitimately a normal dude. But I don't think he's even been near a woman before. No rizz. Just soldier and eepy. But he definitely wants an s/o who can care for him a lot considering his narcolepsy. It's something that worries him a lot, and needs a person who's full of love to give, not only to him but to his family. But you're always welcome to nap with him underneath a tree in the warm sun.

7/10 he's a bit narrow-minded, only having a few goals set in mind and a strict regimen as a soldier. You have to work around that and his disorder in order to be his s/o. It's a lot dude. Especially when he leans in for a kiss but falls asleep inside and hits his head on the way down and gets brain damage.

Sebek Zigvolt- this gator wouldn't last a day in the Everglades bruh ‼️🚫I actually despise him. I have a picture of him in my room that I chew on when I get angry. Why is he always yelling. Why is he so obsessed with malleus even outside of his job. Actually, he probably leaves you for malleus. no chance with him bruh. But seriously you need to be super determined to get with him if you manage go past his alarm clock-like exterior. he's lonely.

3/10 I would turn him into a purse.his version of dirty talk is going "do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior wakasama-" and then you make him put his clothes back on and leave.

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

Thank you for reading!  ₍˄·͈༝·͈˄₎◞ ̑̑

[yanderes-galore]

cna i get a lmk yandere ne zha romantic concept?

Sure! Wish he got more screen time.... (I did not know Season 5 existed when I wrote this, so maybe things changed-)

Yandere! Ne Zha Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Jealousy, Violence, Stalking, Manipulation, Arson/Potential murder mention (?), Isolation, Kidnapping, Dubious relationship.

Based on what I've seen of Ne Zha, he seems like he'd be overly stern and serious.

He's responsible Celestial who's occasionally temperamental.

He takes his role as a guard seriously and often stands by such a role.

Which makes me think... Would he protect his obsession with such dedication?

Most likely.

A fellow Celestial obsession would be the easiest for him.

But I personally enjoy the turmoil and conflict he'd experience if his obsession was a mortal or demon not in the realm.

You could even just be a human who's friends with MK.

Only to have a Celestial completely enamored by you and your nature.

He takes everything very seriously with you.

He's conflicted with his feelings at first yet defends you with his life.

He'd give his obsession too many rules.

He'd scold you on safety and never take his eyes off you.

He acts like a guardian to you.

He's used to guarding, actually.

I don't doubt Ne Zha would get jealous.

He'd just try to find some way to justify it.

Ne Zha is another yandere who thinks he's meant to be perfect.

He has a feeling his obsession is wrong... that his feelings are wrong...

Yet this lucidity doesn't appear to be enough to leave you alone.

I imagine even in the Celestial Realm he finds a way to keep an eye on you (easier if you're a Celestial, requires less magical means).

Ne Zha tries to deal with his feelings by deeming himself your protector.

It's familiar... something he knows...

Unlike the darkness of his obsession that is so foreign and... unnerving.

Ne Zha may actually be a little... intimidated by his feelings.

He's aware they aren't pure.

He's lucid enough to know that.

Yet it doesn't stop him from... yearning.

He really does seem like a yandere who'd be overly involved in his obsession's life whenever he can.

Like, you could be talking to someone and he's not far behind giving a disapproving glare.

I imagine he comes off as controlling due to his nature.

But for the most part he starts your bond as just a protective Celestial guardian.

He treats his obsession with as much care as he would any magical item.

He's strong enough to do such a thing, too.

He normally never leaves his post.

Yet he can't help himself when he could be talking to you.

You just make him smile... you relax him.

Seeing you smile when speaking with him is euphoric.

Ne Zha is known to sacrifice anything for those he cares for.

He uses such dedication to alleviate his feelings and stays close to you.

Ne Zha still guards the Celestial Realm, but as his obsession with you grows, he spends more and more time with you.

Celestial Realm... Mortal realm... doesn't matter to him.

He just wants to see you.

His feelings make him fall into a bodyguard realm most of the time.

He isn't quite sure how to deal with his romantic feelings most of the time.

So he mostly just never parts from your side.

He's actually a bit prude until he realizes how much he enjoys... contact.

The moment he gets some sort of hug, hand holding, pat on the back, kiss, etc...

Well now he's hooked.

He has a hard time understanding why he likes you so much at first.

But soon he learns and decides he just... can't let you go.

Once he realizes he likes you romantically, no doubt due to you accidentally giving him affection to be friendly... he's always around.

He doesn't let you have any distance from him.

Many may comment on the fact that he seems overprotective.

Such accusations are often met with Ne Zha glaring at said person... proving their point.

Ne Zha protects you because he loves you.

To him, it doesn't matter how he does it.

He may usually refrain from it, but Ne Zha would do anything for you... including kill if necessary in his eyes.

He usually holds off due to him being somewhat lucid.

But it's a genuine possibility due to his temper.

In many ways he's similar to Red Son.

Although, while Red Son is possessive... Ne Zha is protective.

They're both temperamental and violent with pyromancy, yet for different reasons.

Like, Red Son would burn down the house of a rival because he doesn't want anyone else to share a connection like you and him have.

Meanwhile Ne Zha would do it for similar reasons, yet try to justify it as protecting you... making it seem like he knows the rival would've hurt you if he didn't step in.

Ne Zha would justify all of his behavior as him protecting you.

Why are you so worried, little lotus flower?

Trust him, he's come down from the Celestial Realm to protect you... to love you....

If he's hurt someone, he'll try to convince you it was necessary.

He acts like he knows best due to being a Celestial Guardian.

As most protective yanderes do, he'd use that to bring you back to his side...

Even if he's done something horrible.

He isolates you as his presence is oppressive.

He takes his time with you seriously.

He wants to be the person you turn to, for both protection and affection.

Eventually he may even insert himself into your home, vowing that he's there to watch over you.

You can't get him away from you even if you tried.

At some point he doesn't even want to return to the Celestial Realm.

Soon he may isolate you with himself at your home, or even drag you kicking and screaming with him to the Celestial Realm.

Will it cause issues? Perhaps...

He isn't going anywhere without you, though.

If you tried to leave him, he'd snap at you.

Don't you know how dangerous that is?

Aren't you aware that you need him?

He'll always be there for you... protecting you and kissing your skin whenever you need.

Ne Zha doesn't care what it takes to keep you.

Sure, he may face consequences for burning those he feels could harm you... or for the blood on his clothes... or for the fact he has considered/succeeded in kidnapping you...

Yet Ne Zha has already vowed to do anything for you... because you're his and he's yours...

He doesn't care what happens to him as long as he can show you his devotion.

[roxy-writes]

this fic is copied directly from my ao3

warnings: noncon, date rape drugs/roofies, kidnapping, bondage

i do not condone any of this behavior irl.

You'd never have guessed that your friendship with Katsuki Bakugo would've turned out to be the worst thing that ever happened to you. Actually, yeah you could've. He'd held the title of the most brash, aggressive person you knew from the moment you met him. But...you didn't think he had the capacity to actually ruin your fucking life the way he did. You took him as someone who took every emotion he had and channeled it out into anger, whether it be during his hero work or in daily life. And, despite your best efforts, you managed to find his behavior endearing. You don't know how you put up with him, maybe it was those ever so rare moments where he actually showed affection normally, or maybe it was..you don't really know.

You remember how it all started, when you worked as a barista in a small, local coffee shop Bakugo frequented. He'd come in, clad in his hero suit, his very presence commanding. He'd mutter his order to the cashier and lean against the wall, waiting for someone to shout out "Dynamight", signaling that his order was ready. You'd only glance at him, never paying much mind to the hero. Until one day, your close friend told you they'd become friends with a very popular hero they'd like you to meet. You didn't know who to expect, but it certainly wasn't...him. He recognized you and you recognized him, but neither of you acknowledged it. You couldn't help but enjoy his company once you warmed up to each other. He definitely had charisma. So you and your friend hung out with him more often, and eventually you and him started hanging out alone.

Further into your friendship with Bakugo, you really got a glimpse into who he really was. He wasn't your closest friend, but you had him around often. He liked cooking dinner for you a lot, and he'd always complain if you ordered food instead of just letting him make you something. You'd never admit it, but he was a great cook. He came over to your place one night, and it progressed like every other. He'd get mad at you for trying to order something, scold you, and dig through all your food looking for something to make. So, once he was done, you sat down at the table as he served the food he made. Your favorite food. How'd he know you liked this? You were too hungry to question anything, so you ate with him. You remember taking a sip of the drink he'd poured you, going to sit on your couch with him, and that's where your memories come to a halt.

You'd always figured he might've had a thing for you, but you didn't think he'd go this far.

You woke up somewhere you didn't recognize, in a bed that wasn't yours, with a man you thought was your friend. The fear that rushed through you was like no other, especially during the moment you saw his sick fucking smile as he stared at you from the end of the bed. You don't remember what he said then, but you remember what he did. Remember how horrid you felt when he pinned you down and tied you up so you couldn't fight, slipped his hands into your pants and started touching you. He rubbed your clit and stuck his thick fingers in you, preparing you for what you knew he'd been waiting for. You didn't want it to feel as good as it did. You wished he was hurting you instead, because who was he to be pleasuring you? He shouldn't be the one making you feel like this. But he wasn't gonna listen to your pleas for him to stop. You suspected that the more you begged for this to be over, the more it turned him on, and eventually your cries devolved into high-pitched moans, cries and hiccups. He pulled his soaked fingers out of you, licked them clean, and lined his cock up with your hole.

You instantly became distraught, squirming uselessly. You weren't getting out of this, and you knew it. But that wasn't gonna stop you from begging him to let you go, your words quickly becoming drowned out by his groans and the sounds of his balls smacking against your ass. The stretch felt like you were being torn in half, and he didn't give you much time to adjust before he started moving. Your eyes stayed wide as you tried your best to shut them closed so you wouldn't have to watch what was happening to you. His hair stuck to his face, and his muscles flexed with every thrust. He looked euphoric, like this was all he'd ever wanted. You also remembered he kept talking about how this was just him getting his revenge for all the times you flirted with him and led him on, and how he'd been anticipating the day he'd finally do this. You wondered if this was the only reason he kept up being friends for so long, if this was his goal from the very start. But soon, your train of thought was cut off abruptly by your orgasm. You wished this would all be over already. After a few minutes of him continuing his assault on your cunt, you felt warm cum flood your pussy. Oh fuck. This was only getting worse for you. He pulled out after he was done and cleaned you up. You don't think you ever fully grasped the reality of what had just happened to you.

You went quickly from hanging out with him maybe once a week to seeing him daily. Locked up in this fucking room, with only yourself for company while he was at work. There were a few items to help entertain you, books and things like that. Still, you spent most of your time sitting around, thinking. Thinking about how you'll just have to wait until someone finds you. You lost your sense of time after a while, so you had almost no idea of how long you'd been there. Until he got home from work and came to visit you, you'd just be stuck waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

[xserpx]

morse for the ask game?

How I feel about this character?

(Caveating this with the fact I haven't yet watched Inspector Morse, so this is only about Endeavour.)

Normally I'm not at all a fan of whump and I don't like feeling sad for well-meaning characters who are hurt repeatedly through (mostly) no fault of their own, but I really love Morse's brand of melancholia. The way he struggles to deal with change is too damn real, I'm a sucker for characters who struggle to voice their feelings and whose anxiety causes them to say nothing, because bitch me too. I also like that he's shy but it's kind of a selective shyness? Like if you catch him at the right moment or say a certain thing, he can be very snappish and outspoken and even funny, but then in those (incredibly important!) moments where he feels truly vulnerable, he just clams up, and it's heartbreaking and delicious to watch.

It's also undeniable that he is a massive prick sometimes. His treatment of women, his pretentiousness, there are moments when I want to slap him upside the head and I'm like you deserve this shit buddy! Monica my beloved, she deserved so much better from him. As much as he craves deeper connections with people and as much as I really want him to find a place to belong and settle down, it's so clear why he can't, why he shouldn't, and it's so deep rooted that in a way if he actually made a more concerted to change and do better he'd pretty much be a different person. And I like that the show never compromises on providing answers or catharsis for his struggles. Change happens, that's life, and there's often no way to deal with it that doesn't hurt.

I also love his dark academia style and the way it's grounded in finding meaning/belonging. It's not that it doesn't give him a sense of superiority at times, but like... that was his rebellion in the face of anti-intellectualism and abuse at home, and in a way I feel like he's earned the right to that pretentiousness. I think it dilutes some of the intimidating effect that opera and classics and poetry can have - some people listen to the Beatles, he listens to Wagner, one thing isn't "better" than another - but without binning it off entirely so that we still get to enjoy the commentary on classism. Plus watching him school the Oxford dons is always fun :P.

All the people I ship romantically with this character?

Romantically, hmm... The trouble is I end up feeling sorry for either Morse himself or whatever woman he's got his eye on at the time!

I love Joan and Morse, and I'd love for them to work things out, but the more time passes the less and less suited they seem to be. It's one of those relationships that's more about yearning than it is about getting together. They struggle to communicate and they're constantly miserable. He puts her on a pedestal because of her family, and Joan likes him because he's an enigma, and they can't move past that. But at the same time, fanfic exists for a reason, and I still love the yearning despite it all.

I'm not sure if I ship it romantically per se, but Max is another one where I feel like they could be more than friends, they're very Sherlock and Watson (and this fic by gaytobymeres is so good I love it). That scene with Morse and Max having tea in Max's garden is one of my favourites in the series, and I want that life for Morse so badly! Literalllyyy at the end of Exeunt I was like dude just move in with Max!! He'll never leave Oxford! He'll come along to your choral recitals! You have way more interests in common than any of your girlfriends have thus far! And he's lonely too, bless him ;w;.

My non-romantic OTP for this character?

I don't think there's a single character I don't ship Morse with platonically?? All I want in the world is a pub quiz fic featuring all of Cowley CID (and Trewlove) but I'm not clever or patient enough to write it. I wish we had more teamwork episodes tbh, and I think that's the best thing about seasons 5 & 6 (as dissipated as CID is at the start, that just makes them coming back together all the more heartwarming).

Morse & Thursday are of course the freaking bedrock of the show, they're just insanely good and I genuinely want them to be together forever. As much as he misses Joan at the end, I really want a happy ending where Thursday and Morse can stay together. At the same time, what with the whole men in the 60s reinforcing one another's emotional repression, I kind of wonder what would've happened if Thursday had been able to steer Morse in a different direction, and if it would have had a knock-on effect with helping Morse express his feelings for Joan and maybe end up somewhere better. But their characters are so intertwined it's hard to separate out the what-ifs. I do think Thursday had more of an impact on Morse than Morse did on Thursday, but you could maybe chalk that up to age. Leopards don't change their spots, etc. Still... lamenting lost potential is what grief is.

I'm also a huge fan of Morse & Trewlove tbh, he's so relaxed around her?? He tells her stuff he never tells anyone else?? They fake marry?? Ridiculously sweet. They share the trait of being incredibly dedicated and detailed in their work, and it bleeds over into a genuine appreciation for one another that they don't really have with any of their other colleagues (save for maybe Trewlove & Bright, another fantastic platonic OTP in my book). I also can see them being friends w bennies but I def don't ship them romantically.

My unpopular opinion about this character?

Not sure if I have one tbh. I haven't been here long but I generally think the wider fandom has it right about most things. Maybe not including Jakes as some brand of OTP? I feel bad because I love Peter, I just don't see him and Morse being particular friends any more than Morse and Jim are tbh.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Um, happiness. Just, all the happiness. I wish he could communicate better. I wish he'd had a better childhood. I wish his house hadn't been burgled and that he could still listen to Rosalind Calloway without taking emotional damage. I wish he hadn't been beaten down and that he could feel secure and safe, and have a fulfilled life outside of work. Great tragedies always keep the happy ending in sight, and Endeavour does that incredibly, painfully, well.

If I had to choose something specific to have happened in the show, I guess I would have liked to see more of Joyce. I'm fascinated by their relationship and I really loved every cameo from Morse's past that we saw, plus episodes like Cartouche with cousin Carol. Tbf I have heard that Joyce shows up more in Inspector Morse, so... 👀

[goldeunoias]

Let's play a game....

A/N: Genshin Impact Lofi makes me write the best idk

Word Count: ~2k of Jay porn because they give me the best anons and reblogs and comments <33333

Synopsis: Sugar Daddy! Jay x Female! Reader

*********************************************

"If you keep me company after dinner I'll add an extra two grand," he remarked in a sultry voice, placing his black card in the hand of the waiter to pay the bill.

You swallowed thickly and bit down on your lip, calculating the amount you could make just from tonight. It was your first time doing this sort of thing and you were surprised you made it through the dinner without making a complete fool of yourself.

"F-for how long," you stammered out. Jongseong chuckled and took off his suit jacket, rolling up his sleeves as he set his elbows on the table.

"Every hour will make two grand. How about that?" He cooed, staring at you with mischief in his eyes.

"Th....three grand," you countered, twiddling with your thumbs underneath the table. You couldn't believe you were actually doing something like this, getting extra cash by keeping a man with too much money to spare company.

Jongseong laughed and thanked the waiter when they came back with his card, taking a sip of his wine before standing up and beckoning you to do the same.

"As you wish kitten."

Your head kept repeating the pet name he'd called you over and over as he grabbed your hand and gently led you up the elevator of the six-star hotel, Jay's hands moving to your hips once you both were alone in it.

It caught you off guard and a sharp breath left you as Jongseong rested his head in the crook of your neck, your eyes unable to look back into his carob ones.

"What's wrong kitten? No need to be so shy, I'll treat you better than any college low-life ever could," he cooed in your ear, kissing the shell of it and biting it gently. Your hands clamped down onto his forearms for stability and you nodded, your breaths getting caught in your throat as you felt heat rise to the surface of your skin.

When you got to his private floor Jongseong released you and meandered his way to his bedroom he took off his shoes and undid his tie, beckoning you to follow him.

You were silently preparing yourself for a sex dungeon or something as you walked into his bedroom, though when he opened the door it was surprisingly normal. Jongseong could read your mannerisms easily and smiled at them, sitting at the edge of the bed and gesturing for you to stand between his legs.

"I do have some interesting tastes but I wouldn't go as far as to do something like that on your first time with me," he hummed, his hands massaging your thighs tenderly.

"Soo...what are we going to?" you meekly inquired, struggling to hold his gaze for longer than a second.

Jongseong pouted and clucked his tongue in thought.

"Surely you have some kinks you've yet to try out kitten, being so young and all," he drawled, pulling you down onto your knees and holding your face still. He slid his thumb into your mouth and you hesitantly began sucking on it, the callouses against his fingers stimulating your tongue.

"I could breed your pretty princess parts until your cunt is entirely painted white by me and only me..." he began, his eyes darkening.

"I could use pretty pink ribbons to tie you up and edge you in ways I bet your body has never even felt until your face is puffy with tears on how badly you want to come," Jongseong continued, darkly smiling at you when you felt you swallow thickly.

"Or maybe I could make you ride me for hours until your legs are shaking and your cunt has made a mess all over me. Whaddya think kitten?" He inquired, removing his thumb from your mouth.

By now you could feel your nipples erect and pushing against the material of your dress and you'd felt thick droplets of arousal leak onto your underwear, causing you to shift between your legs.

"I-I don't know...I've never done, um, those types of things," you replied timidly, your chest hitching when Jongseong dragged a finger down your jugular to your sternum.

"Mmm, then I guess it's my choice then. Stand up and pull down your underwear and dress for me yeah?" he cooed at you, leaning back on his palms to take in the view as you lowered both.

You tried to do it quickly so he couldn't see how much you soiled yourself just from his words, though Jongseong's eyes were quicker than your movements as he saw the stickiness you'd made on yourself.

"Aw, my kitten made a mess of herself, she even started creaming," Jongseong condescendingly said, his hands reaching between your legs. His fingers felt hot against your clit and you whimpered in reply, your hands going to his shoulders.

Your legs buckled slightly when he collected droplets of arousal on the pad of his finger before sliding the digit into his tongue.

"Taste yourself kitten," he teased, sticking out his tongue for you to take.

You gulped and hesitantly leaned down to kiss him, tensing up when you felt the heat of his tongue slide into your mouth. You tasted arousal mixed with expensive merlot and your hands bunched up his button-up as he deepened it, sliding trickles of saliva into your mouth until your entire mouth was coated was traces of him.

You pushed yourself off of him to come up for air, your body heaving as he sunk his teeth into your neck. You rasped out his name from your lips as the texture of his tongue brushed against the mark he'd made, admiring his handy work.

After all, he didn't like sharing his toys.

"Kitten, you're gonna find that I have some strange tastes," he trailed off, standing up and motioning for you to lay at the head of his plush bed watching intently as he moved about the room.

"What's your favorite color?" He inquired suddenly, opening the drawer at his dresser. You couldn't see what was in it and you told him hesitantly, Jongseong pulling out a silk ribbon of the color you'd said.

"Since we're gonna do some playing, why don't we make your favorite color the safe word yeah?" He cooed, grabbing your wrists with one hand and binding them.

"P-playing?"

"Mhmm," he hummed, unable to hide the dark grin he had.

"I don't uh, like pain by the way so don't do any of that please," you whined out, squirming a bit against the bindings. He shushed you gently and kissed your cheeks, dragging his finger down the bridge of your nose.

"Safeword, remember it and use it at any time. You're in safe hands," he soothed. Once he felt you had calmed down some he went to his nightstand and pulled out a candle with a lighter.

"Don't worry, it's made for this," he answered before you could ask. He let the wax warm up a bit before turning it slightly, a trickle falling and landing on your belly.

The sensation made you arch like back as the heat spread across your belly, like warm shower water hitting your skin.

"Oh? Does kitten like wax play?" Jongseong teased, watching your breathing hitch when warm droplets hit your sternum.

You panted out an "I don't know" as you watched the wax harden on your body, feeling your inner thighs become sticky from keeping them closed.

He hummed and carefully let some trickle near an erect nipple, your body tensing as you felt the teasing sensation gnaw at your skin. Desperate whimpers were the only thing that left you when he did so to the other, Jongseong drinking in the stickiness you'd made on your thighs.

He wanted to tease you more but he was getting impatient with himself, gently grabbing one of your ankles so your core was on full display to him.

"Oh kitten, you're making a mess of yourself. I guess I should plug up your cunt before it gets messier yeah?" Jongseong tutted, reaching into a different compartment and pulling out a vibrator.

Even looking at it made your cheeks burn and you cast your head to the side in embarrassment, Jongseong clucking his tongue and raising your head slightly so you could watch him insert it into you.

"Let's play a game," Jongseong hummed, grabbing a chair and sitting at the foot of the bed so he could see your body in full. He dangled the remote that controlled the vibrator in front of you, leaning back into his chair.

"You have to guess what number I'm thinking of between 1 and 20. But since I'm such a nice person, if you're within 3 digits I'll let you control the settings. If not, I control it. Sound good?"

You shook your head. "Write down each number so you don't cheat, that's the only way I'll agree," you countered. Jongseong raised his brows and nodded, getting a pad and a pen from his drawer.

"Works for me. Let's start the setting at medium as a baseline."

Your jaw immediately went slack as you felt the vibration pressing against the spongy part of your walls and your swollen bud, your legs shaking as you processed the sensation.

"oh kitten likes it already," he cooed, writing down a number. "ok beautiful guess your number."

You racked your brain for an answer, trying to think of a good starting point.

"Ten"

Jongseong chuckled and moved the bar until it was near it's highest, your hands squirming against the silk bindings as you felt a tight knot force it's way into your belly.

"Mmm wrong, it was 18," he corrected, holding up the pad to show you he wasn't lying. "You're off to a bad start kitten, especially since you need to get at three before you even think about cumming," Jongseong taunted, watching you helplessly writhe against the sensation.

"Next round then hurry, please," you croaked out, heat emitting from your body in waves.

"As you wish~," he calmly responded, writing down another number. "Now guess."

"Fifteen" you panted out, your toes curling as you felt the knot get tighter and tighter. "Oh god, Jongseong please," you heaved out.

"Right on the money kitten, the number was fifteen. Because I'm feeling nice I'll count that as two. One more kitten and then you can come so make me proud yeah?" Jongseong soothed, reaching over to massage your ankle as you lay shaking.

You nodded and shut your eyes while Jongseong wrote, your nails digging into your skin to focus on anything but how tight your walls were around the vibrator.

"Guess kitten."

"F-four," you groaned. Jongseong tsked and held it up to you, revealing the number twelve. He promptly turned the vibrator all the way down so you could only feel the slightest sensation, Jongseong setting aside the pen and paper.

He walked over to the side of the bed and held your sweaty face by your cheeks, stroking one softly.

"Aw, the poor kitten didn't get to cum. But don't worry, I have plenty of other games we can play..."

*********************************************

I write more for members whose fans give me the most anons, reblogs, and comments because liking a fic doesn't tell writers anything! So pls tell me <3333

Anywho I hope you enjoyed 😜

[yandere-yearnings]

I know Laurent intro isn’t out yet, but if it’s ok can we have a bit of info about him? I really need to know if he is the pathetic type WHO SAID THAT

I understand if you want to keep the info secret until he makes his debut!

ask and you shall receive nonnie, i will absolutely give you more info abt him😌✨️ also, thank you for sending this in, anything concerning laurent always makes me the happiest🥺🩷 he'll hopefully be debuting soon btw!! his intro is mostly written, now i just need to salvage some time to actually finish it😔💔 and yes, he is definitely pathetic haha i will be expanding on that at a later date

With the way Laurent keeps up public appearances, it would be ridiculous for most to entertain the idea that he works in a field where there's more graves than grass. Under scrutiny, his smile alone is enough for people to turn a blind eye to the blood that stains his skin.

Somehow, he's even managed to claim the title of communal grandson amongst the elderly, and he's dutiful to it too — ever ready to lend a helping hand where needed.

Charming, charismatic, the textbook definition of 'sunshine' whose warmth will undoubtedly melt the coldest of hearts. Rival organisations fear his magnetism will lure away their best workers.

The unequivocal respect he commands wasn't built on power and influence alone, though they were important contributors. If you were to ask any of Laurent's men why they'd take a bullet for him so easily, they'd tell you it's because never once in their lives has anyone showed them as much compassion and sincerity as him.

To those under his wing, he's the reliable older brother that never lets them down. There is security with Laurent; in the way he listens, and the way he protects. Since he's aware of being a home to many, he hides how hard he has to toil to keep the roof from caving in.

Clover knows, ever his trusted right-hand. They've been best friends since childhood, so she's the only one who he can't fool. He depends on her for a lot of things — she insists he does. He tells her about how much he wishes this wasn't his reality, tells her about his guilt, his heartbreak. He tells her all about you.

As full as his heart is to pour out to others, love has never been good to him. Desensitised in a world of death and deceit, it's the only thing he's truly afraid of. He wants to trust you. Laurent thinks you'd be able to fix him.

That being said, it takes a lot of persistence and coaxing to get him to take your advances seriously. He's the type of person who'll pamper you with extravagance, but can't seem to understand why you'd ever want to return the favour.

Over time, you might just notice Laurent's habit of keeping the things that make him happy the furthest from him. If you ever ask him why, he'll deflect and change the subject — something Clover will tell you he does when he feels vulnerable. In any case, that'll be the first and last instance you'll see his eyes unmatching the rest of his cheerful façade.

Although not a quality that matches his job, Laurent is surprisingly gentle. He likes animals, and nature, and reading books under the low light cast from his lamp — a gift from the owner of the oddities shop in his hometown. You could join him, he'd never say no.

He has a lot of scars, and a lot of tattoos to cover them up. He knows he's got nothing to be embarrassed about, if anything, they're signs of loyalty. It's just, sometimes, all he wants to do is pretend he lives a normal life.

In the middle of the night, the stack of towering papers on the desk his sole company, Laurent finds himself thinking about you more often than not.

If there was no duty tied to his name, if he were anyone else and less of a coward trapped within constant tragedy, he'd have liked to reach out. He'd have liked to hold your hand.

[stargazer-sims]

Heart and Home

CONTENT WARNING - mention of violence

____________________

"You ever regret becoming a parent?"

Victor Okamoto-Nelson wishes he was anywhere but here, doing anything but participating in this uncomfortable exchange.

He folds both hands around his half finished bottle of red Gatorade and tries to ignore the fact that there are a dozen other members of hospital staff and at least as many people in street clothes in here, potentially witnessing this. Maybe it's a touch of paranoia, but he feels as if every pair of eyes and ears in the large room is on him and Ellie, and he has to resist the urge to fidget under the perceived scrutiny.

The hard plastic chair he's sitting in isn't doing much to lessen his need to move around, nor is the uneasy sensation in his stomach. Riding down in the elevator from the paediatric unit, he’d thought he was hungry, but the smell of overcooked vegetable soup in the hospital cafeteria is putting his appetite off, and Ellie's terrible question is contributing too. He feels queasy and he wants to leave.

He gazes at his fellow nurse across the cafeteria table. By coincidence, they're both on day shift this week, and when she saw him in the hospital parking lot this morning, she asked him if he'd mind meeting up for a few minutes after work. Normally, he doesn't like to hang around the hospital after his shift, but Ellie said she needed to talk to him about something and her tone seemed to imply it was important, so he reluctantly acquiesced.

So far, however, he hasn't figured out what Ellie wants. For the past ten minutes, all she's done is complain, trapping him in what has felt like a never ending cycle of nods and non-word responses of "Mm-hmm," and "Uh-huh."

Technically, Ellie is Victor's step-sister — they were both in their mid-20s when her dad married his mom — but he hasn't thought of her as a sibling of any variety in a very long time. These days, he's not even sure 'friend' is the right way to describe their relationship. They've known each other since they were babies and they'd been practically inseparable growing up, but careers, marriage, children, changing attitudes and differing perspectives on navigating life have pushed them apart. Sometimes, he feels like he doesn't even recognize her any more.

One thing he does know, though, is precisely how to answer Ellie's question about parenthood. His sweet Caroline has given him joy since the moment they first met, even before she became his and Yuri's legal child. Adopting a kid with albinism came with a set of challenges they hadn't been entirely prepared for, and they've had to learn a lot along the way, but he can say with honestly that he's never had a single hint of regret. He loves Caroline as if she were his own flesh and blood, and the idea of not having her is painful. Caroline has added so much to his and Yuri's lives, he can't imagine what their existence would look like now if they hadn't adopted her.

"Never," he says emphatically. “It was like some part of me was missing, and I didn't even realize it until Caroline came along and filled up that empty space."

"Lucky you," Ellie says.

"We are lucky," he agrees. "I wake up every day thankful that I've got Yuri and Caroline."

"Must be nice. Generally, I wake up asking myself what kind of disaster I'm going to have to face that day. Nora and Elliot are pushing my last button, and Leo's no help. He thinks the solution is to take Elliot and move into his parents' basement."

Victor studies his step-sister. She's exactly four months younger than him, but her appearance is that of someone ten years older. Her wavy brown hair is streaked with grey, and he's sure the dark smudges beneath her eyes are permanent. She looks exhausted in a way that a few solid nights' sleep wouldn't be enough to fix.

"Have you talked to Mom and Julian about any of this?" he asks.

She makes a dismissive huffing sound. "Dad and Grace are no help either. Grace says it's none of her business. Typical of her, honestly. And Dad won't do anything. He says he's supportive, but then he goes and tells me that Leo and I have to work our family problems out between ourselves."

"Well, he's not wrong about that second part," Victor says. "Yuri's mom told me and Yuri a long time ago that the way to have a strong marriage is to have good communication and to not hide anything from each other. We had to figure out how to do that together. It wasn't easy, but I can tell you it was worth putting in the work."

"I was kind of hoping for better advice than 'fix your own shit'."

"Believe it or not, that is the best advice," Victor says. "Even when things were at their worst, nobody stepped in and sorted out mine and Yuri's problems for us. Mom and Julian helped us a lot with advice and stuff, and so did Rei and Kenji, but Yuri and I really did have to fix our problems on our own, and I think we're stronger now because of that."

"Having a charmed life like yours must be nice," Ellie comments.

"I'm gonna pretend that wasn't sarcasm."

"Got any other pearls of wisdom other than telling me to solve my own problems?"

"I get that you're looking for something specific, but—"

"I'm looking for a miracle," Ellie cuts across him.

"I can't do those,” he says.

"God, I wish I could wind back the universe," she says. "I never would've agreed to marry Leo. Or maybe I would have, but I would've said no fucking way when it came to having kids."

"But... why?" he asks.

"This is probably going to be hard for you to understand since your kid is so perfect, but parenthood sucks for the rest of us."

"I don't think it sucks for most people."

"For me it does," Ellie says. "When I had Nora, I realized I gave up a whole chunk of myself that I'd never get back. Then we had Elliot, and... yeah. I gave up my freedom for those kids. I gave up my happiness, my independence and my whole fucking identity as a person for them. I lost my ability to enjoy my life just to make sure they could enjoy theirs, and those ungrateful little shits don't even care."

Victor is momentarily stunned. He has never met anyone who harboured such resentment toward their own children, and he's shocked and horrified to learn that his step-sister feels this way.

As for himself, he wouldn't say that he and Yuri gave up much of anything when they adopted Caroline. They haven’t lost their happiness or their individual identities, and they certainly haven’t given up their freedom.

Sure, Yuri had a less than smooth transition into parenthood, but he’d eventually found his footing, and Caroline's presence hadn't stopped him from doing everything he wanted to do. Yuri has grown his business, written three children's books, volunteered in the community and enjoyed his hobbies while parenting, and Victor has worked, volunteered and played as much as he's wanted to while raising Caroline as well. The three of them have travelled all over the world together, and they've had countless adventures and made the best memories. Far from being stifled after becoming fathers, having Caroline around has enriched them and expanded the scope of their experience.

"I'm sorry," he says, because he has no idea how else he's supposed to respond.

"No, you're not," says Ellie.

"I don't know what you're expecting from me," he tells her. "I just had to sit here and listen to you go on a huge rant about Elliot and Nora, and now you're telling me you never wanted them in the first place? I don't know how you want me to react to that, but i really am sorry. For you and Leo and your kids."

"I'm expecting you to help me."

"By doing what? Do you want me to tell Leo not to file for divorce, or not to move into Aunt Millie and Uncle Stephen's basement? Do you want me to tell Nora to come back from wherever she is and... I don't know. Be more like Caroline?"

"I want you to support me, and maybe have a little empathy," she says.

"I do have empathy for you, and I'm willing to support you, but that's kinda not what I'm hearing," he says. "It really sounds like you want me to agree with you and take your side, but you know I can't do that."

"You're my brother. You're supposed to take my side."

Victor shakes his head. "We're not siblings, Ellie. I think you know that as well as I do. I love you and I want to help if I can, but I'm not gonna let you manipulate me by trying to use the sibling card, okay? I know how you really feel about Julian being married to my mom, so you claiming to be my sister when it's convenient for you isn't the best way to go."

It's Ellie's turn to stare at him. A few seconds pass and then she asks, "Literally who are you? The Victor I used to know would've stuck up for me, no matter what."

"Maybe I'm not the Victor you used to know," he replies quietly. "We've all changed."

"Apparently," she says.

"Look, I don't know what's going on inside your head right now, and I'm not gonna claim I understand, ‘cause I don’t. All I know is, this shouldn't even be about taking sides. It's not you against Leo or you against your kids."

"How can you say that?" she demands. "It very much is me against Leo. He doesn't give a shit about me or Nora. He just wants to take Elliot and get away from me."

Based on what Victor knows, this is a fair assessment of the situation, aside from the part about Leo not caring about Nora. From conversations with Leo, Victor knows that he cares very much about his daughter and is worried about her to the point of losing sleep. He's worried about his son too, which is part of the reason he wants to take Elliot and move in with his parents.

Of course, Victor can't say any of this aloud, even though some mean little voice in his brain wants him to say, Can you blame Leo for wanting to get away from you?

He pulls in a long breath, holds it for five seconds and then lets it out slowly. "Tell me something. If you could wave a magic wand and have the ideal family right now, what would that look like?"

"You're kidding, right?" Ellie scoffs. "Why would I answer a dumb question like that?"

"Just humour me."

"Okay, fine. My ideal family would be just me and my dog. But, if I'm stuck with the family I've got, I'd want a husband who listened to me, a son who didn't have special needs, and a daughter who wasn't a disrespectful, spiteful little whore."

It takes willpower for Victor not to comment on Ellie's description of Nora. He says, "Okay. At least part of that is achievable."

"What?"

"You want me to help, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"This is me helping," he says. "You can't do anything about Elliot's disability, obviously, but you can at least make an effort with Leo and Nora."

"Right. Neither one of them is going to change. Leo has pretty much mentally checked out of our marriage, and I could scream at Nora till I'm red in the face and it wouldn't achieve anything."

"That's one thing you can work on," Victor suggests. "You know how many times I've yelled at Caroline?"

"How should I know?"

"Zero. Exactly zero times."

"Because Caroline's so angelic, you never get angry at her?"

"No," he says. "Because Caroline is a thinking, feeling person who deserves to be treated with compassion and respect. I do get mad, and I get tired and frustrated, and I've had to raise my voice to be heard plenty of times, but I've never yelled at her in anger because my anger isn't her problem."

"How is it not her problem? If my kids piss me off, I sure as hell make it their problem."

"You blame your kids for your own reaction." It's less a question than an observation.

"They were the ones who caused it," Ellie says.

"No," Victor counters. "They do something that makes you feel angry, and then you choose to overreact and blame them for it. You know you can be angry and not take it out on your kids, right?"

"Maybe you can."

"I think most people can, if they make an effort," Victor says. "I mean, I don't look at Caroline and think 'I'm mad and it's all her fault'. It's more like I'm angry or annoyed about the result of some choice she made."

"But she made the bad choice," Ellie points out.

"Yeah, but the person who decides how I'm gonna communicate my emotions about that is me, not her. Plus, I still want her to know I love her even when she does something stupid, and I want the chance to teach her to make better choices next time. How much do you think she'd learn if I screamed and freaked out every time she did something I didn't like?"

Ellie's response is laced with scorn, "If I'd known the secret to having a perfect child was just to not yell at them, I would've stopped yelling years ago."

Victor sighs. "If you're not going to take this seriously—"

"You're not exactly offering anything helpful, are you?"

"I am, if you'd listen," he says, exasperated. "I’m gonna be brutally honest here. Before you start trying to fix your kids, maybe you can work on yourself, and you could do something about your marriage. Get some couples' counselling, and maybe take an anger management class."

"Leo's not going to go to counselling."

"Have you asked him?"

"No, but I already know he won't."

"Okay. Then I guess I'm out of ideas." Victor pushes his chair back and stands up.

"Wait," Ellie says. "You're leaving? Just like that?"

"Yes, because this conversation is going nowhere," he says. "I'm tired and I want to go home."

More than anything, he wants to cleanse his mind, not only from this awful encounter but from the entire stressful day he's had today. He wants a long hot shower and something more sustaining in his belly than Gatorade and a dried out blueberry pastry. But, most of all he wants Yuri to hold him. Yuri may be tiny and frail, but Victor has never known anyone with as much inner strength as Yuri has, and no one else can comfort him and make him feel as safe as Yuri can.

He imagines Yuri's little arms wrapped tightly around him as he starts to walk away. It's only a ten-minute drive between the hospital and their new house. Only ten minutes, and he'll be in Yuri's arms for real.

"Victor, wait," Ellie calls out from behind him. He doesn't stop. Not until he hears her blurt out, "Nora's pregnant."

That causes him to halt and look over his shoulder at his step-sister. "What?"

"Nora is pregnant," she repeats.

He tells himself he shouldn't go back, that it's a bad idea, but something compels him to disregard his own better judgment. He reverses his trajectory and returns to his seat at the table. "How do you know that? I thought she moved out and you didn't have any contact with her."

"I saw her at the supermarket," Ellie reveals. "She was with some boy, and he couldn't keep his hands off her belly."

"That doesn't necessarily mean anything," Victor says.

"Oh, it means something."

Victor thinks about standing in line with Yuri at their favourite café, hugging him from behind and giving him what Yuri likes to call 'secret belly rubs' despite there being absolutely nothing secret about it. Plenty of couples cuddle that way in public. He's seen people doing that exact thing in the checkout line at the pharmacy and supermarket loads of times, and he's never once assumed any of the recipients were pregnant.

"How do you know?" he asks again.

"She's popping out exactly the same way I did when I was pregnant," Ellie says. "Remember how big I already was at twelve weeks with Elliot? I don't think she's very far along, but it was noticeable to me."

"So... is this what you really needed my help with?"

"Yeah, it's connected to it," Ellie says. "I'm sorry, okay? I should've led with that.”

“Yeah.”

“I'm so done with everything right now,” she says. “I can't handle another crisis, and I don't want Nora bringing her problems back home. It was bad enough the last time she was under our roof, with the drinking and inappropriate videos and running off at all hours of the day and night."

"What are you saying?" Victor does not like where he suspects this might be heading. "I hope you're not about to ask if she can move in with us when she gets tired of being on her own."

"God, no," Ellie says. "I might be done with her, but I wouldn't push her over to you. She's made it pretty clear that she hates Caroline, and God alone knows what might happen if they were under the same roof. I wouldn't put your kid at risk like that."

"That's... something, I guess," Victor stammers.

"But I'm not about to put Elliot at risk either," Ellie continues. "I don't trust her to be around him, and I need to do something about it."

"Like what?" Victor asks, regardless that he doesn't really want to hear the answer.

"You know a lawyer, right?"

"Uh...yeah. Uncle Stephen," he says. "Otherwise known as your father-in-law."

"No, not Stephen," says Ellie. "Not Matthew or his son, what's-his-name, either."

"Arthur," Victor supplies. "Everybody calls him Artie."

"Whatever," Ellie says. "I mean Yuri's lawyer. The one for his business. She knows what she's doing, doesn't she?"

"Her name's Kadijah, and I don't think Yuri and James would keep hiring her to do stuff for the firm if she didn't know what she was doing. But, why do you need a lawyer?"

"Because Nora is turning eighteen at the beginning of November, and Leo and I won't have any control over her any more at that point. There'll be nothing to stop her from coming to the house if she feels like it, and I want a restraining order."

"You... you want what?"

"I don't want her being around her brother with booze and drugs and porn and God knows what else. He'll either end up getting hurt or he'll turn out just like her, only he won't be smart enough to keep from getting caught. I'm not having that."

"And you think getting a court order to keep your pregnant daughter away from your house is the answer?"

"I have to protect my other kid. What choice do I have?"

"I can think of a few," Victor says. "Like getting over whatever grudge you're holding and talking to her, for one. Maybe get her into a residential rehab program if you think she's actually using drugs. Set her up with either prenatal care or a termination if she's really pregnant. Anything except locking the doors and telling her she's not wanted."

"Nobody talks to Nora," Ellie says. "Leo and I gave up on that. We got tired of her screaming in our faces and putting her fists through walls whenever we said something she didn't agree with. You know she gave Elliot a black eye for telling us about the adult videos she was making."

"Before, you said he hurt himself falling in the kitchen."

"He did fall in the kitchen after his sister punched him. Leo heard him crying and ran in from the yard, and he had to pull Nora off him." Ellie elaborates. "She's out of control, and I'm done."

"You can't be done. She's your kid and she needs help."

"She needs help, but not from me. I don't want anything more to do with her, and I absolutely do not want her back in my house."

"Then, I guess you're on your own."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not helping you shut your own child out of your life," Victor informs her. "You don't have to be her best friend and you don't even have to let her live at home, but you can't give her the message that she's not loved or wanted. That'll guarantee you'll lose her for good."

"I think I could live with that," Ellie says.

Victor wonders if he's somehow slipped into a parallel dimension, because that's what it feels like. Although he's seen Ellie change over time, he struggles to reconcile the woman in front of him with the vibrant, cheerful and compassionate person he'd grown up with. When had she turned into this colder, harder version of herself? How had she transformed from the girl who had it all together and enjoyed helping others deal with their problems into somebody who seems as though she doesn't care enough to work on her own?

"You say that now, but I think you'd end up regretting it if you really did lose her." Victor says.

"No, I wouldn't," Ellie asserts. "You don't know what it's like to have a kid who hates you and does everything to spite you."

"No, and I'm glad I never will." This time, when Victor gets up from his seat, he has no intention of resuming it for any reason. "I'm sorry things are going bad, but please don't ask me for any more advice."

He barely notices anything on the short drive home. His sole focus is on getting there. When he pulls into the driveway, he's thankful to see the garage door open and Yuri's sporty little car inside.

Yuri is in the kitchen when Victor makes his way through the front door. Yuri's suit jacket is draped over the back of one of the stools at the kitchen island, and his work bag is on the island itself. He's in the process of loosening his necktie, but pauses at the sound of the door closing.

"Victor!" he exclaims. "What happened?"

Victor is flooded with relief at not having to explain that he's upset, or why. Right now, it's difficult to describe what he's feeling. It's more than one emotion. It's like anger, disgust and shock all tangled up with sadness, empathy and a crushing sense of helplessness. He's certain there isn't a single word for that, so instead of saying anything, he just holds out his arms.

Yuri comes to him immediately and slips his own arms around him. He leans into him and rests his head against his chest. Victor drops his arms around Yuri's shoulders and buries his face in his husband's hair.

"It's okay," Yuri murmurs. "You don't have to tell me now."

Yuri knows him so well, it's almost as if he's able to read his thoughts. The overwhelming gratitude he has for Yuri knowing exactly what he needs makes him want to cry, and he swallows painfully around the lump in his throat.

"I love you," he says against the top of Yuri's head. "I'll never stop loving you, and I'd never give up on you or Caroline for any reason, no matter what. I need you to know that, okay?"

"I know," Yuri says softly. "When you promised me forever, I know you meant it. I hope you know I meant it too."

"I know," he whispers.

"Whatever's going on, we're in it together just like always. You don't have to do anything on your own." Yuri tightens his hold, whether reflexively or on purpose Victor can't determine. "When you're ready, we'll talk about it, all right?"

He's fully aware there's no solution this time, nothing he and Yuri can realistically do to make it better for Ellie and Leo and their kids, but he'll tell Yuri about it anyway, if only so he doesn't have to carry the burden of his feelings alone. Perhaps Yuri can help him understand why this is affecting him so much, why it feels like a wound to his heart even though, in actuality, the situation has nothing to do with him.

He nods. "Okay."

"I love you," Yuri says.

All of a sudden, Victor can no longer fight his tears, but it’s okay if he surrenders. There's no judgment here. Yuri will shield him. Inside Yuri's embrace is the safest place he knows, and Yuri's quiet, steady presence is the perfect counterbalance to his flaw of being too sensitive and allowing his emotions to reside too close to the surface.

He tries and fails to take a deep, calming breath, only succeeding to produce a ragged gasp. Yuri strokes his back and soothes him with gentle sounds that might not even be real words in any language.

Yuri's voice is like an anchor grounding him, and his second attempt to settle himself goes better.

He wishes there were a bigger, weightier phrase to convey his gratitude for his soulmate and all he's done for him and for their amazing life together, but even if he doesn't have one, he's certain Yuri will understand.

After a few more deep breaths, he finds his voice and says, "Thank you."

[turtlecleric]

Venty thing set in the bayverse, Raph is mentioned but no turtles show up

CWs: Implied depression and suicidal ideation, hurt no comfort

Hm.

-

Maybe it's because you haven't been sleeping much lately. Actually, it could be that you haven't been doing a very good job of taking your medicine consistently. Yeah, maybe- but you've only missed a few doses. Work is stressful, sure, but that's nothing new.

Whatever the case, it's 5:00 in the afternoon, and you've yet to drag yourself out of bed. Not because you've actually been resting, no, but there's just... something weighing you down. Something holding you here that you can't name or explain very well.

You consider reaching out to one of the guys. They always make you feel better - at least, until you say something stupid and ruin your own mood. But you... you don't really want to be around anyone right now. Especially them. They haven't seen you like this. At least not when it's been this bad. No, better to wait it out, you think. Wait until you can actually make yourself smile. Wait until you can at least act like a normal person.

You feel like you've spent most of your life waiting.

Your phone buzzes shortly. An email, maybe. Or some random app notification. You don't care enough to check.

You feel gross. Maybe a shower would help. But if you're going to shower, then you might as well work out a little first. That's supposed to help, too, or so you've heard. Hasn't yet, but maybe it's the kind of thing you have to do over the course of several months? Or maybe you're just... doing it wrong.

Sometimes it feels like you do everything wrong.

You sigh and roll over, staring at the light filtering into the room through your curtains. For some reason, you wish it was darker outside. This feeling, whatever it is, when it's dark out, it feels... well, not better, exactly, but. Easier? No, that's not right either. More understandable? You don't know. But you wish it was darker all the same.

Surely there's something you can do to feel better. It's been months of this feeling, though, with very little reprieve, despite everything you've done to try and push through it. Trying to keep a positive attitude. Trying to be kinder to yourself. Trying to distract yourself and take steps to avoid isolation when things get dangerous. Trying, trying, trying, that's all you ever do is try. You're tired. Tired of feeling like this, tired of pretending that you're h-

Crying again. You're not sure why you started. You're not sure why you can't stop.

You wonder if Raph ever feels like this. If he ever has days where it feels easier to stay down. Probably not. He's never been one to stay down - not in the time you've known him, at least. He'd probably be able to push through this like it's nothing. He'd probably be disappointed in you for not being able to-

No. You're being overly critical again. Putting sentiments in other people's heads when you've got no evidence that that's what they think. You can't possibly know what Raph would think unless you actually ask him - and that's certainly out of the question.

Still. Maybe you could... text him. It would distract you for a little while, at least, from the gaping maw that is your chest.

You roll over again and reach out, fumbling with your phone. Shaky hands. You should eat.

Maybe later.

You swipe away the notifications that have gathered. Nothing of importance, you note. No one's messaged you. The emails are all spam. Just a bunch of random shit, like you expected.

A voice in the back of your head whispers that if Raphael wanted to talk to you, then he would have messaged you first. You push the thought away, reminding yourself that relationships are a two-way street. And just because someone hasn't reached out doesn't mean they don't want to talk to you at all.

Still. Your thumbs hesitate after opening the text thread you've got with him. You... don't even have anything to say. Not really. There's nothing you feel like talking about, you just- you just want-

You don't know what you want.

You lock your phone and toss it to the side. Maybe you'll message him later.

Or maybe you'll go into the bathroom. And stare at the medicine cabinet for a while.

[ballinandcantgetup452]

Terry McGinnis is the only person who can be the next Batman

I don't normally make hard statements like this. I typically hate it when somebody makes hard statements like this, but hear me out.

No prior Batfamily character can be the next Batman. I'll keep it brief and explain why going person by person (obvious headcanon warning)

Dick is definitely a likelier candidate than most. He can cover for Batman if the need ever arises. But I believe that Dick Grayson hates the idea of actually becoming Batman. He can play the role. He was a circus kid and he's got the heart of a theatre kid, he can play the role all day long. But he was the first. He arguably saw Batman at his natural worst. He and Alfred, anyways. I'm going to drop some OP lore to further elaborate. My dad's a pastor. He's a really good pastor. He's a good man, and he may be an ass, but that's because I know him as "dad". For YEARS, people would tell me that I was just like him, and for a long time, I wanted to be him. It's what boys do when their dad is at the very least decent. But, as I got older, I saw the tapestry and saw the flaws. I saw how tired being a pastor made my dad. I saw how much of his life being a pastor was taking up. I would never tell my dad to stop being a pastor, because that's him. That's his calling; and if he was anything else, then he'd be a soulless, husk of a man. But I've seen what being a pastor does to you, and I don't want that. I want to be better than that. Dick Grayson has seen what The Batman does to a person. He's seen Bruce do things that Dick would never do, and the idea of being the next Batman is something that got soured to him. And it definitely doesn't help that that's what a lot of people used to do to him. So yeah, traumadumping aside, Dick would never STAY Batman. Even if he doesn't know it.

I honestly think it's best if Jason stays as far away from the idea of The Batman legacy as possible. Jason's at the best possible spot right now. He's taken his trauma and has turned it into his empowerment. I don't care what Three Jokers says, that's dumb. Joker's an ass, we don't listen to him. ESPECIALLY if he's swapped out his gun for a crowbar and has a no-kill rule, Jason could be Red Hood until he's 90 and it'll be narratively fulfilling.

Tim is one I see get thrown around a lot. However, I believe that The Batman would absolutely DESTROY him and he would be too stubborn to acknowledge it. One common denominator I believe every Robin goes through is the realization of "oh wow, Bruce is not okay" and trying to be better than that. While I do believe that Tim went through that, I also believe that Tim is arrogant enough to believe that he's better than that. Even putting all of the "alternate Tim evil gun toting Batman" futures aside, I think that Tim is obsessive enough as is. Giving him the mantle of The Batman would cause him to obsess even more to be like Bruce thus causing ANOTHER evil gun toting alternate future Batman. Tim is best as Red Robin. An independent agent that can go well with ANY Batman to keep them on the straight and narrow.

Babs is best as Oracle. No I will not be elaborating. If you want her to be Batgirl, then say that she can Batgirl every once and a while but doing it stresses out the microchip in her back.

Steph is best as Spoiler. She backdoored her way into the Batfamily by being competent enough as Spoiler. I honestly wish that she could be like Batwoman and establish herself as Batfamily adjacent and have her own supporting cast and such. If she does have one, then I'm sorry. Cassie is kind of a blind spot.

Sadly, Cassandra Cain, Duke Thomas, and Harper Row are even bigger blindspots of mine. From what I've seen of them, I can't think of any reasons they couldn't be Batman. However, I can't think of any reasons why they especially should be Batman.

Damian Wayne is my personal vote for becoming the next Batman out of everybody pre established. Not for any birthright reasons. That's dumb. Admittedly, DCeased really turned me on to the idea. I think that the idea of Damian being the child raised by Bruce that turned out the best is a really good idea. In retrospect, I guess the idea of birthright is technically why I'm choosing Damian. BUT, understand I'm doing it with the caveat that Damian is fully developed as a person and as a character. That is the END of his arc.

HOWEVER, Terry McGinnis takes the cake for me in terms of Batman successor. This is going off of the idea that he isn't a Bruce clone. I don't know how canon we've made that, but canon is relative, so I'm saying it's not for the sake of argument. Terry is an outsider. He has no baggage with the idea of The Batman. He's just a guy working through some grief with The Batman being used as a vehicle. He doesn't know any of the Bruceisms. He never had to explain to his friends that his dad is crazy and he's sorry he made contingency plans for all of them. Terry McGinnis gets to make Batman his own. And, luckily, he gets to have a fully realized Bruce to guide him along the way. I also think that it opens so much more story potential. It's essentially a soft reboot for The Batman as an idea. Everybody else can be out doing their own thing. But I think this works in the same way that Miguel O'Hara can ALSO be Spider-Man. I believe that every intimate Batfamily member would follow Bruce's footsteps by making Batman an UNHEALTHY obsession. Terry would be different, he'd lead the pack by turning The Batman into something HEALTHY.

Or maybe I don't read enough comics and all my interpretations are super surface level. Let me know. I'm willing to be wrong.