#do you think he ever fucked the fake trash bots

[transingthoseformers]

God no because imagine Bee's dick game is atrocious because he's been stuck alone with nothing but trash for god knows how long, but he is VERY enthusiast when it comes to spiking his partner of your choice

[prorevenge]

A social media marketing agency fires me while being sick without any notice or explanation.

I worked for a social media marketing company. I'd been there almost a year and hadn't used any of my 14 paid days off. I was the only contract worker, but I didn't complain. The money was ok, paid the bills, and my degree was not in business.

It's Saturday. I got from a whole day of running errands, it was raining and nasty, I was wet and cold, I felt sick. I emailed to my team and HR that I'm feeling sick and will be updating them. I felt it's important because there was a big pitch the whole agency was bending over. On Sunday, I felt it in my bones. I wrote another email. I didn't want anyone else to get sick before the pitch. Monday morning I was pouring gallons of shit water from my ass. I threw up twice, couldn't eat, couldn't swallow even water, couldn't sleep, couldn't move, no health insurance. I sent another email on Monday saying I feel worse, sent what I was able to finish to my manager and the team and wished luck with the pitch.

It was strange that this time I didn't get any, "get better," "sorry to hear that," etc. I was so sick I wasn't thinking too deeply about it though and decided to mindlessly binge on Netflix. Tuesday morning, I'm asking if all looks bueno. No response. I'm texting to my manager because this wasn't normal. No response. Then, I couldn't log in to my email. I got locked out from my work email. Doesn't take a genius to notice that something wacky has been going on. I got all my shit from Dropbox and whatever accounts I had on an external hard drive. I started making peace with the thought that I'm being fired. I just didn't know what for.

The next morning I see an email from HR with the subject "Effective Immediately" and saying, "Due to your repeated absences and your abuse of the paid time off, it was decided to terminate your employment." That's it. No further instructions, nothing. I tried to call my manager, but he didn't answer. He texted me later that day to give the address where my belongings should be delivered. I was still sick on Thursday. On Monday I got an email asking to sign it and send back. No instruction if I should do it by mail or email, just a lot of words reminding me what was in my contract: confidentiality blah blah blah, non-compete clauses blah blah blah, company's intellectual property blah blah blah. It looked like it was copied from an online template. I asked HR to send me a copy of my contract as everything was on my company's laptop. The contract was worded the way that working or even contacting with their clients could put me in legal trouble.

I got another job almost 2 months later. With maxed out credit cards and a $3K loan, I felt little helpless. They treated me like a piece of trash. After winning the pitch the agency has been bragging on social media about how amazing and millennial they are. On the company's social accounts they were trying hard to turn every little thing into a huge win. For me, every day was harder because the new job sucked, I felt excluded and didn't feel I'm the part of the culture. So, I've been checking the old agency's social media like a maniac. It got so bad I had to delete the Facebook app from my phone and install some chrome extensions to prevent me from visiting their social media. I stopped going to the gym, was eating unhealthy, broke up with a girl who actually liked me over a stupid argument, was stressed, and felt like a loser.

One day they posted a blog with so much praise for themselves... I cringed. While scrolling through everything people were saying, I realized that their pride blinded them to anything but positive feedback.

After 3 months since I got fired, my bank offered me skip a pay or something like that for 2 next months and I used the $700 to buy as many fake likes, follows, views, etc., as it was possible. From 2K they went to almost 50K followers on Facebook. They were getting 300-500 likes on their Instagram posts, their Twitter also jumped high from only 200 followers. After a week the $700 got me, I decided to go full in for another week and added $500 to the revenge budget. I was more selective, knew more, had better sites for cheaper, I was posting comments everywhere praising the agency, I even created a fake site which was "featuring" the best social media campaigns and ads. I created fake 2 months worth of content in the form of "awards," "special features," and fake polls, and then featured this agency on the front page. Every comment was retweeted, shared, commented back, thanked. It seemed they enjoy the ride a lot. From 1-2 post a week before I got fired they jumped to 2-3 posts a day on every platform. They were so full of themselves they thought they got all of this with their hard work.

2014-2015 was the golden era of Facebook and social media for this type of activities. After over 2 weeks of the hype, suddenly, one of their most cocky posts of theirs got 0 likes. Null. These fools were so caught up in the chase of their 'hard-earned' success, they didn't even check who likes their shit, who follows them. Those were bot accounts, all of them probably in India, cheap as hell, from some scammy sites you don't want to associate your business or name with, or even your IP. The agency had almost 120K followers on Facebook at some point. Going from less than 2K followers to 120K, imagine how the engagement went down. All their organic posts were non-existent. The whole agency looked like idiots because it was apparent from the outside it's all weird and that the hype's fake.

They were trying to get that hype back they started writing useless blogs like more pointless and worthless content would fix anything. Their headlines were screaming "clickbait," their posts and the volume of images they were posting looked desperate. One day... Oops, their FB is "not available." They got blocked! Since there were hundreds of thousands of the same cases in review (blocked accounts for similar schemes, etc.) and they had $0 ad spend on that page, they would wait months to get their account back. They had to create a new FB page, a new Instagram account, and after they shared again the link with their "we're honored to be featured..." I replaced the URL to link to another business in San Francisco lol and removed their entry from the front page. I wasn't even aware at the time, but after these 2 weeks of imverybadass behaviour they lost a few crucial employees. I heard a rumor they left the agency in the mid-project and someone inexperienced, with no fucking clue and their own projects had to finish it. It had to be a shit show. The client refused to pay and eventually they lost every single client they had on a regular yearly contract. From 25 employees, in less than 1 year, they went to 9! I don't think they realize even now the ratios of likes to comments was suspicious. 2K likes on a photo post with only a single comment saying "Amazing!", posted by Rakesh Johnson from nowhere, with the profile pic of an anime character...? You need to be a true-born idiot to buy that, and they were "an agency."

They still have fewer FB followers than they started with before firing me. They gave up on Twitter. Instagram is also bad, no engagement, no regular posts. Overall, $1,200 bought me back my self-esteem, which I consider money wisely spent.

As of today, I've been talking to that girl I screwed up with and things are looking promising. I'm making more than my previous manager (according to Glassdoor), and he is still with the same company, not having any client on any sort of retainer fee. Only small projects, zero social media activity, almost a dead company, with no talent wanting to work there, and a bad reputation in the area Imagine, a social media marketing company gets kick out from Facebook... laughable. Bunch of egocentric people who got the taste of their own bitter piss. Sometimes I really want to add another nail in the coffin, but I'm a better man now. I moved on and don't consider them worthy of my time. This post is my final goodbye to this issue.

TL/DR: A social media marketing agency fired me for being sick. Got their ass kicked by their own ego and have been recovering ever since.

(source) (story by PierceJames)

[winteriron-trash]

The (Un)Wanted Kiss [Chapter 1]

A/N: This chapter does contain the part from the prompt, but that’s only about the quarter of the chapter. 

Summary/Warnings

-

Bucky kept his arm around Tony’s hip. “Why do we have to do this again?” He hissed, whispering in Tony’s ear.

Tony’s smile was more professional, easy and suave. That didn’t make it any less fake, though. “I told you. After the video leaked of you murdering my parents, we have to prove we’re all chummy for the cameras. Just smile and wave, let me answer a few questions, then you can go back to brooding.”

Bucky mumbled something to himself in Russian, but nodded, and brightened his smile a bit.

Tony dragged Bucky onto a podium, and Bucky only half listened to a speech Tony gave about acceptance and how Bucky couldn’t be blamed for his crimes. Bucky nodded and smiled at the right cues, just waiting for when he could get away from these damned reporters.

“Alright, any questions?” Tony asked, finally wrapping up. Bucky held in a sigh of relief. There was a pandemonium of shouting, and Tony chuckled. “Well, I don’t think we have the time to answer all of those. But…” Tony’s grip on Bucky tightened. “Bucky and I do have one more thing we promised we’d do.”

Then, then Tony grabbed Bucky’s chin. And fucking kissed him.

Bucky might’ve ripped Tony’s head off his body if they weren’t in public. Too many memories of HYDRA agents forcing themselves onto him pushed to the surface, but Bucky choked them down. He let Tony kiss him, resolving he’d kill the man after the conference.

“The truth is, I’m dating the Winter Soldier.” Tony flashed a blinding smile, then dragged Bucky off of the podium again while reporters shouted at them.

As soon as they were alone again, Bucky punched Tony so hard he went flying across the workshop. “What. The hell. Was. That?” Bucky demanded.

Tony groaned, pushing himself to his feet. A bot was already offering him ice. “It was a tactical move, Barnes.”

“Tactical move?” Bucky seethed. “Tactical move my damned-”

“Look!” Tony cut him off with a harsh shout. “I sure as hell didn’t want to do that either, Barnes! And while I may not be particularly keen on your company, Rogers is, and he’s up my ass trying to get me to fix this hellhole of a mess.” Tony started to pace, ice pack pressed to his ribs. “Do you know how many countries you’re a wanted fugitive in? How high bounties are on your head? Just because you were disproven as the bomber in Wakanda and we’re rewriting the Accords doesn’t make all that go away. This isn’t the forties anymore, Barnes. You can’t just smile, say you’re sorry, slip the officer a twenty, and be on your way. Things are complicated now. And I don’t have a shadow of a chance with the UN telling them you’re ‘just a friend’, they won’t fucking buy that bullshit. Maybe the cameras will, but the people who matter won’t. If I can say I’m fighting for the man I love, tug on heartstrings, I might, maybe have a shot at getting you a deal that doesn’t end in twenty-five to life.” Tony wiped a hand over his face. “Look, I’m sorry. And trust me, no matter how much you want to chew me out, it won’t even compare to what’ll come out of Rogers’ mouth when he finds out, so scream at me all you fucking want. I did do this for your own good, believe it or not.”

Bucky stared at him for a long stretch of silence. As infuriating as it was… Tony had a point. “Fine. But next time, give me a fucking heads up.” Bucky stormed out of the workshop at that.

-

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Bucky jerked his head up from watching Tony work on his arm to see Steve, red in the face.

Tony didn’t miss a beat, didn’t even look up. “Would you like a working list?”

Steve folded his arms, taking a stance. Bucky closed his eyes and sighed. “What the hell was that? What on earth were you thinking, kissing Bucky on tv like that?” Steve hissed. Bucky had only ever seen him that pissed when he talked about HYDRA. “Even if I believed for a second that you and Bucky really were a thing -and I know you aren’t- that? Doing it in public? That’s out of line in every sense, Tony.” He was seething, fist balled so tightly Bucky could see his white knuckles pressing through.

Tony finally set down his tools, lips twisting into an exasperated frown. Bucky flexed his fingers, watching the storm brew. “Rogers, I’m endeared by your never-ending care for your long lost love, but if you stopped for a second to think about it, maybe you’d realize I’m doing the best thing for him.”

“Excuse me?” Steve demanded, taking a step forward. “Are you out of your damned mind?”

“Language, Rogers.” Tony snarled. He stood up as well, but with Steve having almost a foot on him -as Steve was wearing shoes and Tony wasn’t- it didn’t quite have the same effect. “Look, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Barnes doesn’t exactly have the best PR-”

“And you do?” Steve shot back.

Tony rolled his eyes so hard they went into the back of his head. “Yes I do, actually. Of all the Avengers, I’m the second highest, right behind your patriotic ass. And if you’d let me speak, I would tell you how I’m using that to his advantage.” Tony jerked a thumb toward Bucky. Bucky resisted the urge to grab that thumb and rip it off.

Steve made a ‘go on’ gesture, eyes narrowed.

“As I explained to Barnes, with the leak of him offing my parents, people are even antsier than before.” Tony threw his arms in the air. “Howard was a bit of a titan, and knowing that the man who murdered him is walking free, it’s putting everyone on edge. If I can show, as the only living connection to Howard and Maria Stark, that I forgive him, it’ll make our fight that much easier.” Tony ran a hand through his hair. “That’s what the press conference was for. And if it was just the press? The media we were up against? That would’ve been enough. But do you have any idea what we’re up against?” Tony started to pace, arms moving, as if he were unsure what to do with them. “The entire UN. All 117 countries who signed the Accords- which just because I was able to get them up for revision doesn’t mean they went away, Rogers. That’s not a fight I can fight with a press conference and a cute little speech about acceptance. But a kiss? That tugs on heartstrings, Rogers. Convinces people that he’s capable of being loved. Of loving others. It seems small but trust me, we need every single fucking push we can get to even have a chance at this.” Tony’s voice was desperate, and it reminded Bucky of the airport fight they’d had. It’d only been a few months, but it felt like a lifetime. “Damnit Rogers, I’m trying my damned hardest! I’m sorry it’s not up to code with your standards, but things can’t always be done the All American way.”

Steve was silent for a moment, Adam’s apple bobbing. “Are you so self-absorbed that you think painting Bucky as another one of you little flings is what’s best for him?” Steve’s voice was barely a whisper, deadly and out for blood. “Are you willing to invade his personal space, threaten his mental health, just for what you think is best?” He took a step forward, and damnit, Bucky knew that look. He knew that look from countless back alley beatings. Stupid punk.

“Hey,” Bucky spoke for the first time as if reminding both of them he was even in the room. “Punk, look. I’m not happy about this. I’m just as pissed at Stark as you are.” That was a bit of a lie. Bucky knew for a fact his rage was minuscule in comparison to Steve’s. “But he’s right. He’s an asshole about it, he didn’t even ask me, but he’s right.” Bucky glanced at Tony, glaring a bit. “If anyone knows how to play the media like a fiddle and get ‘em wrapped around his twisted little finger, it’s Stark.” His words held a nasty bite for Tony even if he was talking to Steve. “Let him be. Not like we can undo it. He’ll regret it when he’s forced to keep me on his hip for the next for months. Or however long this takes.” Bucky sent Tony final look that said he’d make it his life goal to make Tony miserable, then stormed out of the shop before Steve could get another word in.

-

“I’m sure you've read over the current proposal for what to do with Mister Barnes,” General Ross said, pacing around the room. Bucky tried not to glare at him or the other foreign representatives, at the stupid UN meeting Tony had dragged him to. “It's quite the fair proposal, Mister Barnes won't even face prison time.”

Tony let out a noise between a scoff and a snort. “Yeah, I read it. It's a pile of trash. And would it kill you to treat him with a bit of respect? It's Sergeant Barnes. A member of the Howling Commandos, you might recall.” Tony's voice held a nasty bite but was still perfectly under control. Bucky had to admit, he knew how to put on airs. The entire room shifted. “But as I was saying, a pile of trash.” Tony took the stack of papers with fine print and tossed them across the table in an unamused sort of way. “You want to do to him the same thing you tried to do to Banner. Make him your personal little super soldier pet, just like HYDRA did.”

Ross faltered but covered it with an offended look. “Are you implying that the US military is comparable to a Nazi terrorist organization?”

Tony didn't even flinch. “You're the one who wants to know his code words. You tell me.”

Bucky tensed at the mention of code words. It must’ve been more noticeable he would've liked, as Tony grabbed Bucky’s hand, holding on the table with his thumb rubbing soothing circles. It almost might've been worth appreciating, if Bucky knew it wasn't just for show. Bucky held back bile and thought of the way Tony's blood would look on his favourite knife.

“That's a safety measure.” Ross countered.

“No,” Tony rolled his eyes. “The Avengers watching him? Us trying to use BARF technology to get HYDRA out of his head? Those are safety measures. What you want is power over him.”

The UN leaders shifted again, making Tony arch a lazy eyebrow.

“Oh? Didn't you read this? Because the part about the underground prison torture centre is really captivating. Almost as good as the part about the US military having the right to experiment on Bucky however they please.” Tony's tone dripped with sarcasm. Bucky wasn’t sure if his want to throw up was now coming from having to hold Tony's hand or the proposal.

Tony stood up, never letting go of Bucky's hand. “Here's what's going to happen. You're going to rewrite that,” he flicked a finger toward the proposal. “With the UN this time. Then we can talk. But until then? You can kiss my titanium ass if you think I’m letting Bucky sign that.”

“With all due respect, Mister Stark-” Ross started, face turning red.

“Ah, Doctor Stark, thank you.” Tony corrected.

“Doctor Stark,” Ross was positively seething. “Sergeant Barnes has committed an endless list of crimes. By all means, he’s a monster. Are you really defending the assassin of your parents? A man rumoured to have killed JFK?”

Tony dropped Bucky's hand, walking over to Ross with slow steps. “Bucky didn't kill my parents. HYDRA did. You want to go hunting monsters, be my guest. I can give you coordinates to the nearest HYDRA base. But if you ever call Bucky, a man who has been victimized, tortured, and taken apart, a monster again? You'll find out just how hard I can push against you.”Tony warned, his voice barely above a low growl. “Bucky, come on. We’re done here.”

Bucky pushed himself to his feet, taking Tony's hand as they walked out of the conference hall. Ignoring the urge to vomit, Bucky kissed Tony's temple. God, he was going to need to break some punching bags when they got back.

As soon as they were back in Tony's private jet, Tony already had his tablet out, typing away while he muttered profanities to himself. Bucky grit his teeth together, fingers flexing. As much as he hated to admit it, and god he fucking hated to, Bucky hadn’t realized how hard Tony was fighting for him. The mere idea of what might’ve happened if Tony hadn’t been there if Bucky had just given in and signed the contract was sickening.

Bucky sat back, glaring ahead. “Nice job, Stark.” It was genuine but still held a bite. Bucky glowered ahead harder when he felt Tony's eyes on him. “You almost even had me convinced you actually care about me.”

-

@socialtendancies @justjessica131

[hockpock]

Tagged by @kixboxer .  Answer 11 questions. Ask 11 questions.i;m kind of terrible at the second part of that set of instructions but i will do my best.

1. What is your favorite kind of soup and why?

Used to be tomato soup because that’s what grilled cheese sandwiches are made to be dipped into, but alas now i am The Old and everything gives me heartburn. other than that i like cream based soups (corn chowder, broccoli cheese, other comfort foods like that) but they don’t like me much anymore.

2. What’s your starter Pokémon type or do you change it up?

If it’s possible- pikachu. Otherwise usually fire type.

BURN THEM BURN THEM ALLL

3. Can you make an omelette?

Traditional western omelette? No. scrambled eggs with stuff mixed in? Yes. I did however teach myself to make a bastardized version of the japanese rolled omelette that comes on tamago sushi. good eats. 4. Would you rather be a vampiric tree or a vampire that feeds on trees?

My first thought was vampiric tree, i’m pretty sure that exists in a dnd monster manual somewhere? but then you’d be stuck in place and does the crucifix thing work, and really i would just rather be a vampire that drinks maple syrup and goes around snacking on Kashi Good Friends cereal, so... 5. What are your thoughts on eels? Make some up if you don’t have any.

don’t particularly care to eat them, dont want to swim with them. electric eels are awesome. SWEET ELECTROMAGNETIC LOCATION SENSES.

6. What is the longest consecutive amount of time you’ve gone without sleeping?

i get toddler cranky when i don’t get enough sleep, so i try to avoid this but most recently it was when we went to see rogue one at a midnight showing at a theater 1.5 hours away just to see it with college friends. up at 5am for work, home at 3 just to get up again at 5am. great life choices.

7. Do you like your tea or coffee sweetened?

  These days i can go on with less sugar in coffee as long as there’s cream/ milk but tea needs honey. why would you subject yourself to bitter mouth drying tannic death when you have the option, i don’t know, not to?

8. Are you working on any fic/art/meta right now? Share a sample?

“Victor tilted his head in response, wearing an expression that had no right being on the face of anyone that close to thirty in Yurio’s Opinion. It was the same one he always got when he didn’t get a joke, or worse, was about to explain one.”

9. What is your favorite way to eat potatoes?

PO-TAY-TOES. any potato is good potatoes. Twice Baked are really really good though. all textures of potato in one food item plus cheese.

10. Have you ever planned the perfect murder? Feel free to share. I am a slubby 20something and definitely not the cops. I am definitely not a 4-person task force with something to prove.

eheheheheheh.  nope. no old conservative fuckers who talk to loud in my fucking store about how they voted for trump because he’s going to fix this country have ever had imaginary arsenic slowly dripped into their coffee via my brain. nope.

(when i quit in a blaze of glory i’m going to wear all rainbows and tell him exactly what i think of his talk of ‘handouts’ and ‘ oh climate change existas but it’s not because of anythings humans have done’ bullshit.

I’VE BEEN GETTING MY QUEER ALL OVER YOUR COFFEE FOR TWO YEARS, DILLWEED!) 11. How many times have you listened to yolo? Give a rough estimate if you don’t have a playcount somewhere.

I know you mean the YOI ED but....

tagging.... @onyourkneessoldier, @hushjustlookpretty @gingerblivet, @matori IDEK whover wants to do thing? @ me so i can see what weird people follow me.

oh. new questions. right.

1. Do you remember the 21st night of September, what were you doing and do you have an alibi, and what song is most likely to get stuck in your head?

2. What meme will forever live in your heart long past all relevancy, to annoy your younger relatives in 2025 when Facebook has long passed into obsolescence and ad-bots posting to each other about minions?

3. What fictional character did you want to be growing up ( if you were ‘well adjusted’ and ‘rational’ who did you admire?)

4. Choose a song to make an ‘Angry Female Country Folk Banjo Cover Ft. Fast’ style cover of. quote the most ironic lines.

5. Heels, flats or weird fake toe-thongs that don’t actually make people believe you’re wearing shoes?

6. team mysterious leg bruise or team when did i get that scar?

7. Cats vs. tube cats, trash cats, weird horse or strange dog?

8. What’s the most inaccurate/incongruous thing netflix  or another similar service has recommended to you based on your actual watching habits?

9. favorite non-standard ice cream flavor. Chocolate, strawberry and vanilla are basic. REACH FOR THE STARS AND THE STRIPES BEN AND JERRY’S, PEOPLE.

10. Why does coconut exist. why.

11. the nuclear option: pineapple on pizza y/n?