#do you think eddie straight up called tommy an idiot when buck told him that they broke up. anyway

[confessionseddie]

It's a beautiful thing, isn't it? Having a crew like this behind you, even when things go wrong. Especially when things go wrong.

season 7 › season 8 requested by anon

[demonvampire180writes]

LA's Link to the Sky Chapter 2/3

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“Excuse me, you did what?” Eddie stares at him from across the kitchen island, eyes wider than the first time Buck told him he and Tommy were on a date and he realized, for the first time, that Tommy was gay.

Buck winces and gives a half tilt of his lips as he replies, “Got a tattoo for Tommy?”

Eddie’s eyeballs look ready to burst, and he’s about to lose his eyebrows to his hairline. The beer he’s holding dangles precariously between two fingers. “Buck. Buddy. Pal. You know that those are permanent, right? It won’t just be a whoopsie daisies if things go sideways.”

Buck glares at the older man. “I’m not stupid, Eddie.”

“No, you’re not,” he agrees, “but sometimes you don’t think about possible consequences.” His eyebrows finally lower and he takes a long swig from his beer. “I know you’re an eternal optimist but… You and Tommy have only been together a few months. You only told him you love him, what, two weeks ago?”

Buck flushes and takes a swig of his own beer so he’s not forced into saying anything. When the heat subsides, he admits, almost to himself he’s so quiet, “I really think… Hope… that he’s my forever, Eddie. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before; not even Abby and I held onto her for nearly a year after she left me.” Silence. Then a drawn out, guttural resigned sigh.

Scrubbing his face roughly, Eddie leans one elbow on the counter and rests his head against his fist as he scrutinizes his best friend. While there’s judgment, Buck feels a sense of warmth and brotherly affection as well. “You really have it bad for him, don’t you?” Buck nods just once, sliding his fingers along the neck of the bottle and collecting the condensation. Swiping back up, he wipes his fingers on his pants and stares at the ground. Talking with Eddie is making him feel a modicum better, but he still feels the tension in his neck.”Well then, you should do what feels right for you. Don’t hesitate. You jumped into the whole ‘dating a guy’ thing with aplomb and haven’t looked back, so maybe don’t start now.”

“Yeah?” Buck twists his fingers together, looking up at Eddie without lifting his head, his eyes wider than a puppy dog trying to look like they didn’t just upturn the trash can and trail its entrails across the kitchen.

Eddie sits up straight and reaches over to clasp Buck’s shoulders, squeezing reassuringly. “Like I said when you told me about your first date; once he knows you’re an idiot, he’ll love you, just like we all already do.” He smirks. “Though this might just have one upped every other thing you’ve ever Bucked up since I met you.” Winking, he drains his beer in a few long dregs and stands. “I gotta get some shopping done so I’m gonna head out. I’ll see you Thursday on shift?” Without waiting for a response he heads for the door.

With a grin on his lips, Buck straightens, with the load of worry lightning on his shoulders, and calls out, “Asshole!” Eddie gives him the finger as he laughs his way out the door, it clicking with a sense of finality behind him.

Finishing his own drink, he heads up to his bedroom in the loft and pulls up Tommy’s contact, eager to see his face now that his secret is hidden beneath his clothing. He hits the video chat button and brightens when, after just one ring, his boyfriend picks up, his gorgeous face beaming back at him.

*

Buck startles at the sound of a loud, low whistle outside the locker room door. Hen stands there, leaning against the frame with her arms crossed over her chest. While she’s grinning, he can already see the question in her eyes. Self-consciously he holds his shirt up a little higher; he’s only just stripped off his street clothes to change into his uniform, and he’s still shirtless, so his chest is bare for anyone to see, and he hasn’t yet told anyone else about his new art. “Did Bucky-boy get a new tat and not tell anyone?” She asks, checking out his pec with discerning eyes. “And do my eyes deceive me or is that maybe something for a specific someone?”

“Morning Hen.” Buck slowly turns away from her, ignoring the fire he feels in his cheeks. He only took off the protective bandage this morning. The skin is still quite pink and plasma oozes from where there’s the heaviest dose of ink.

“Good morning. Don’t avoid my question.” She sinks her claws in, clearly not about to let go. “So, tell me.”

Buck shimmies into his blue LAFD shirt and begins to forcefully tuck it in, drawing the process out so he doesn’t have to face her. “What was the question, again?” He hedges.

Hen sighs dramatically. “C’mon Buck, it’s cute how bad you have it for Tommy.”

“I don’t have it that bad.” He protests, jutting his bottom lip out in a pout as he zips his slacks and fastens the buckle. He can’t prolong the process any longer so he smooths his shirt front and turns to face the paramedic. To his surprise she’s got the softest smile on her lips, her posture relaxed. After what feels like a millenia long silence he sighs with exasperation and admits, “Okay so… Maybe I do have it that bad.” His shoulders roll forward into a slump as he drops his head back, staring into the blinding fluorescent lights.

Hen chuckles and a moment later her warm hands are gripping his shoulders. He lowers just his eyes so he can see her. “There’s nothing wrong with that. You’ve been so much more… authentically yourself since you two started dating. I think he may be part of the missing pieces you were in search of.”

“Yeah?” He slouches into her, coming to rest his head on her shoulder. She rubs his biceps a few times before running a hand through his hair. “You don’t think I’m moving too fast?”

“I think you’re moving at the exact right speed for you. There is no generic right or wrong; every partnership is different. Does he know? About the tattoo I mean?” He rubs his forehead against her shoulder in a headshake.  “Well,from what little I’ve seen, I think you may just break his brain with it. It’s stunning.”

Buck sighs, sinking even more into her, wrapping his arms around her waist in a hug. She hugs him back, squeezing him in the best mama bear hug he’s felt in a long time. “Thanks Hen.”

“No problem, Bucky-boy. Make sure you let me see it up close after it’s healed some more. Don’t forget to keep it clean, and come to me if it starts looking strange or anything.” She lets go and pushes him back, waggling a finger in his face. “Maybe pull back on the impulsive decisions some though. I feel like diving head first into a same sex relationship after a totally unpredicted bi-awakening, and then a new ‘name but not a name’ tattoo, is enough impulsiveness to last the rest of the year.”

Buck lets out a genuine guffaw of laughter, eyes crinkling in the corner. “I’ll be sure to do that Mama Hen, cross my heart and hope to live.” She snorts and gives him a few hard pats right over the fresh ink. He winces and glowers a little as she turns to leave the room. Every single day he feels more and more blessed for inheriting a family that loves him unconditionally, even if they are a little mean to him just for fun sometimes.

He shoves his duffle into his locker and swings it shut, pulling out his phone to call Tommy before his shift starts, missing him after two days of not seeing him in person.

*

Later that shift, Buck steps out of the shower, towel wrapped tightly around his waist. They’d gotten back from back-to-back fires - one a suburban house fire, and another a warehouse - and he was covered in soot and dust. His curls were turned tan from the stuff falling from the sky like snow, and he could feel grit in places he doesn’t want to think about. Thankfully Gerrard finally shows some level of mercy and demands a halt on calls for the next hour, allowing his staff to eat and clean up.

Chimney stands at the wide, wooden, bench in the bathroom outside the shower stalls in just his slacks as he digs through his bag, probably for a razor or a toothbrush. He glances up when Buck approaches, roughly scrubbing at his hair with a second towel. His brother-in-law's eyes grow wider than saucers upon seeing Buck’s new adornment. “Buck, what in the hell is that and does Tommy know?”

It takes him longer than it should to understand what Chimney is asking. He furrows his brow and stares at him for a long second before following his line of sight to his chest. “Oh. This?” He points stupidly at himself, his confusion palpable.

Chimney opens and closes his mouth like a fish a few times, his own brows knitting together. “No, Buck, I mean the other glaringly obvious body art that magically appeared on you since the last time I saw you shirtless. Which isn’t as long ago as it should be.” He leans over and backhands his stomach. “Yes, that.”

Buck can’t help the way his face flushes, heat creeping up his neck. Part of it’s from pleasure, knowing that so far everyone that’s seen it has known exactly who it was for, but also in embarrassment because he knows they know that it was a somewhat impulsive decision. It also probably means that if things go sideways with Tommy… He likely won’t be able to play off what it means to him.

“Um… It’s a tattoo?” Once again it comes out more as a question than a statement. It’s really not hard to understand why others thought him dim a lot of the time.

“Duh.” Chimney says with emphasis, crying out in triumph as he pulls out a metal comb. It’s only then that Buck realizes that the man's own dark hair is damp. Chimney begins to attempt to tame the nest that is his hair as he continues staring deep into the younger man's soul, eyes wide with question. “But that is for Tommy, isn’t it? Or are you just super into cool scenery now and it has absolutely nothing to do with your hot, pilot boyfriend?” He stills and then his eyes widen even further until he almost looks like a cartoon character whose eyes are about to pop from their head. “Wait, wait, wait. Does Maddie know you pulled a stunt like this?”

Buck turns his head and shifts his eyes. “Ma-y-be.” The word drags and he knows that Chimney will know he’s lying. The silence says as much. “Look, I’m an adult. I can make my own decisions.”

The paramedic sighs heavily, and a moment later there’s a firm weight on his shoulder. He turns his head back and finds Chimney standing right next to him now, dark eyes full of understanding. He forgets that Chimney has fallen in love twice and the first time it didn’t work out so well. The second time around? He found his soulmate. Almost more than anyone Chimney understands what it’s like to find someone only to have them ripped out from under him and Buck has gone through that more than most people his age.

“Look, Buck, I get it okay. You and Tommy? You guys belong together. But I can’t help remembering that you felt this way around Abby, too. When you fell, you fell hard. So hard in fact that you broke into pieces when you were finally forced to face gravity and crashed. Then Taylor came around and you latched hard onto her, and we all thought she was your new forever. But… well.” He shrugs. “I’m tired of seeing you get hurt and this,” he gestures at his friend's pec, “worries me because if something does go wrong, that’s a reminder you can’t just get rid of. I’m not sure you’d recover and you’d be forced to remember every single day.”

Warmth pools deep in Buck’s gut as he stares at his brother-in-law with heat pooling in the back of his eyes. His lip trembles as he forces his tears back. “Chimney.” He whimpers.

Chimney grins. “I have faith that you and Tommy will still be together when you’re old and grey. I don’t want to be the one who jinxes it. I see the way you look at him so, if you’re sure, I’ll be sure.” He squeezes Buck’s shoulder again and gives him a gentle shake. “Now put some clothes on. I don’t need to see you naked. That’s your boyfriend's job.” Buck snorts a somewhat wet laugh and wipes at his nose, sending one more prayer of thanks to whomever would listen for bringing him a family that cares for him so deeply he can’t even see the bottom of the well.

*

Maddie bursts into his loft on his day off demanding, “You got a tattoo for Tommy?!” She stomps up to him at the stove and whirls him around to look him in the eye. “Evan Buckley, just what were you thinking?”

He blinks rapidly, trying to force his brain back online after the processing disruption. His eyes flick back to the pan he was stirring a moment ago then back to his sister, brows furrowed. “What?”

Maddie puts her hands on her hips and huffs. “You. Got. A. Tat. Too.”

Still confused, he turns the knob for the burner to the off position and wipes his hands with the tea towel slung over his shoulder - it’s a gift from Tommy, a white and red towel with tiny firetrucks all over it. He refused to use it at first, because he didn’t want to ruin a gift, but within a few weeks it became his go to for cleaning up any messes that wouldn’t stain. Its fibers are soft, and pliant, after so many trips through the washer and Buck adores it. “Y-yeah, so? I’m an adult.”

Maddie’s big eyes go even water and tears brim along the waterline. “Buck. That’s a huge step. Does he even know?”

“Funnily enough Chimney asked the same thing.”

She crosses her arms over her chest. “For good reason. A tattoo is permanent. A lifelong commitment. And Chimney says that it’s something very much… You guys.” She shifts a couple of times back and forth on her feet before caving in and approaching her little brother, cupping his face in her hands, stroking along his jaw. She searches deep in his eyes, trying to draw out any hint of regret. 

Buck places his hands over hers and squeezes oh so gently. Lowering his voice he breathes, “I know Maddie. That’s why I got it. I,” he sucks in a sharp breath, broad chest expanding until he could float away like a balloon. “I’m positive t-that Tommy is going to be… Going to be… my forever.” He admits, breath whooshing out in a singular exhale as he admits that out loud. It’s been four days since he marked himself. Four days since he sincerely committed to the idea of forever with a man he’s only known a few months. Four months since he accepted that he’s bi. And he’s never felt more sure of anything in his life.

“I know that this is probably fast, and I-I think for most people it would be but…” He grips her hands and lowers them between themselves.

A single tear rolls down his sister's cheek. “I wasn’t here for it but, from what I’ve been told, you felt this way for Abby and look what happened. She broke you, Buck.” 

He shakes his head and swipes the pad of his thumb under her eye, wiping her tear on his pant leg. “This is different.”

“But how do you know? He’s the first guy you’ve ever dated and he’s almost a decade older than you. Every time you date someone older it ends in disaster.”

Buck looks directly at her as he says, “When you know, you know. Like how you knew Chimney was really it for you this time. Like Bobby knew Athena’s his, along with her kids. It’s like Hen and Karen knowing they were meant to be, even after everything they’ve been through.” He knits his brows together. “I mean yeah, I’ve felt kind of this way before but it was… different. I can’t go more than a few hours without thinking about him. Whenever I learned a fun new fact, or began obsessing over something new, my first thought was always to text you or Eddie but now, he’s the first one I want to tell about anything, good or bad. With Abby I…” He runs a hand through his curls and looks away, getting lost in those distant memories for just a moment. “She had so much going on in her life that I never felt like I could burden her with my own worries but Tommy… Even on his worst days I feel like he still wants to genuinely hear what I have to say. He wants us to work out those bad days together. We’re still separate people but it feels like we could operate as one. Ya know?”

Maddie sniffs. “Buck.” Her voice breaks and she brings the sleeve of her sweater up to her face and wipes first her eyes and then her nose. Her eyes are red rimmed but she’s no longer crying. “You really mean that, don’t you?” He nods, not looking at her.  “You stupid, silly boy.” A breath later he’s wrapped tightly in her arms, her hand holding his head against her shoulder, the other wrapped tightly around his middle. His own eyes prickle as he wraps her up in his own embrace, relishing the feeling of this familial bond.

They hug until Maddie can bring herself to stop sniffling. When she does, she pulls back and pushes him out to arms length with a smirk on her lips. “Well, now that we got that mushy sibling crap out of the way, I think it’s time you show me this symbol of eternal love.”

Buck snorts and proceeds to bat her hands away. “Gaze upon my skin in awe, sister, for it is awesome.” She playfully protests as he begins to lift the corner of his shirt, yelling my eyes, my eyes as she mock cowers away. They continue to banter back and forth even as she comes closer to examine the peeling tattoo, tracing over the delicate lines and oohing and awing over its awesomeness.

Once she’s had her fill, she steps back. Seriously she says, “He’s going to love it, Buck. Not just because he loves you.” The tips of his ears turn pink. “But next time you do something like this you had better tell me first. Eddie may be your best friend but I’m your sister and that takes priority.” 

“I make zero promises.” He dances away, giggling like a little boy as she chases after him with her arm raised, ready to hit and main him, even if only in gest.

Chapter 1

Chapter 3