#do you think after kellin was the first time he realized how much he started caring about arthur . do you think he only noticed how much-

[sw33t-oubliette]

john doe makes me so insane . so called free thinkers when a piece of god himself gets bound to a human and learns to care for the human and finds meaning in life

[call-me-rei]

Chapter 5

The weeks that passed brought changes to San Diego. The weather was starting to cool down, although not enough for kids to go to school in coats. Still, it was evident that the summer season was ending in the northern hemisphere. The sticking feeling of humidity that wavered around in the air was dying down and being replaced with brisk, refreshing breezes.

Vic smiled to himself as he sat in the backyard of his house. He loved the cooler seasons of the year. The town he had lived in previously was always so cold, albeit gloomy, but Vic enjoyed it. He saw the sun on the rare occasions that it wasn’t hidden behind clouds and enjoyed the cool temperatures that happened because of that. Then he moved to California and the sun was always shining bright. He had no idea if the state ever saw temperatures lower than eighty degrees.

But today was a counter to that thought. He sat on the swing set his father had built in the backyard and lazily rocked back and forth, enjoying the cool air that blew through his hair and tickled his cheeks.

It was peaceful in Vic’s neighborhood. Even though it was a beautiful Saturday afternoon, there was hardly any activity on the streets. Maybe families were sleeping in, or maybe they had gone out before he got outside. Either way he was enjoying the quiet that surrounded him.

Vic had had a good week. Ever since he received the picture from Kellin, the two boys had been leaving drawings and little notes in their shared desks. Vic was nervous that Kellin would have stopped after he got Vic’s first picture, but when he got to his classroom the day after and saw the thank you note from his new friend, he knew that he needed to continue being his secret pen pal.

So the boys kept it up for days. Then days became weeks and they were still leaving little things in each other’s desks. Sometimes it was a random drawing they’d made in art class or during a brain break, and other times they were asking each other important questions:

Do you like cake or pie better?

What’s your favorite color?

Do you have any brothers or sisters?

I’m sorry I’m asking so many questions. I just wanna get to know my new friend :)

The boys quickly learned how to communicate with each other to make each other’s day. It started with Kellin asking Vic random questions to which Vic always answered. Then the blond boy would draw a picture that corresponded with the answer he was given. When Vic had answered that his favorite color was red Kellin drew him a picture of Pikachu in a red rocket ship with a red flower crown on its head. Vic kept that picture in a sheet protector in his binder with the other pictures Kellin had given him.

And of course Vic drew him pictures back. It almost seemed like a competition to see who could outdo the other with their artistic abilities, but neither boy saw it that way. They just wanted to show that they cherished the friendship the other had offered. What better way to do that than cute pictures of their favorite things?

Vic leaned back on the swing and looked at the sky. He had a genuine smile on his face as the thought about his interactions with Kellin. He never would have thought that he’d make a friend in the first week of school, let alone keep a friend, but he had and he was happy. He was genuinely happy.

His family of course noticed the boy’s happiness. They didn’t comment on it though, for fear that it would make him revert back to his gloomy self. Still, they enjoyed seeing the oldest son happy when he got home from school. He was even beginning to talk more at home, something neither parent thought would happen.

Mrs. Fuentes looked out the sliding glass door into the backyard and watched her son on the swing. She smiled at his smile. She wasn’t sure why her son was so happy, but as long as he was out of his funk, she wasn’t going to question it. All that mattered was that her boy was doing better than ever before.

The other boy involved in this friendship was also doing better than before, although it was harder to tell. Kellin was always a happy child and rarely seemed to get upset, so it was hard to tell if he was having a bad day. Even his mother couldn’t see it unless he told her outright. So when the friendly relationship with Vic started no one noticed how much Kellin needed it.

Kellin appreciated how much Vic seemed to be drawn to him. He knew the new student was wary of making friends, so he felt flattered that he was the only one who could capture his attention. It made him feel special and wanted. Out of all the students in third grade, Vic had chosen him. That thought always made him smile.

The two continued to talk underneath their tree at recess. Vic always assumed that Kellin would leave one day when he got bored and go play with his friends, but the blond boy showed no signs of doing so. In fact, Kellin looked forward to sitting with Vic every day. He loved talking about nerdy things that his other friends had no interest in. Jack and Jesse thought Pokémon was nerdy and laughed at the kids with backpacks or clothing that represented the series. Kellin, not wanting to be included in the taunting, always kept silent, something that he regretted each time it happened.

But with Vic he could talk freely about the series, and about anything else he wanted to. Vic was a great listener and let Kellin talk about whatever he wanted. Kellin knew it was because the other boy wasn’t keen on talking, but that didn’t make a difference to either of them. Vic was always happy to listen to his new friend speak. And boy, did Kellin speak.

Anyone who spent time with Kellin knew he sociable. He wouldn’t consider himself an extrovert like others would, but his ADD made him susceptible to speaking fast and moving faster. He found an interest in many different things and was always excited to talk about them to anyone who’d listen. Even complete strangers. There was one moment in his life when he saw a teenager with bright purple hair and immediately went up to them to ask them about it.

“That’s so cool! I wish I could do that! You’re so lucky!” he had said to the unknown boy in the middle of the grocery store. The teenage boy just chuckled and thanked him for the complement before walking off to continue his shopping.

Some people thought this side of Kellin was strange, but not Vic. Vic liked that Kellin took control of the conversation and didn’t force him to talk when he didn’t want to. It made him feel comfortable knowing he could add in when the anxiety he sometimes felt lessened. Vic also liked how interested Kellin was in things he hadn’t seen before. Kellin would ask many questions that Vic took his time answering. He would have stuttered out an answer to anyone else, but Kellin made him feel comfortable enough to come out of his shell and talk about himself or his interests more freely.

Both boys appreciated each other so much, even if they’d never said that before. Instead, they continued with their notes in each other’s desks and their talks at recess that each party looked forward to every day.

But the Monday after the that cool day on the swings changed things for Vic and Kellin.

The two friends had spent the morning in their homeroom classes learning the respective content before they went to specials. Kellin had art that day while Vic had music. Neither was complaining; both boys enjoyed starting their week in their favorite fine arts class.

Kellin sat in art listening to their teacher, Mrs. Miller, talk about the day’s project. “I want you all to create a picture of a happy moment in your life. We’ll use pencils to sketch it then we’ll add watercolors next week. Start by brainstorming and when you have your idea write it down so you don’t forget it. I’ll come by and ask you some questions before you start your sketch.”

Kellin smiled to himself as Mrs. Miller talked. He was excited about this project. A happy moment in his life? He had so many he could sketch! Happy moments just seemed to come naturally to him, so he wasted no time writing his ideas on the scratch piece of paper the art teacher had handed out.

By the time Mrs. Miller came over to his table Kellin had six ideas he was passionate about drawing. There was his first visit to the beach when he was five, the first time he rode a bike, a random day he played with Jack and Jesse, the one summer he went to a waterpark, last Christmas when he got a remote-controlled dinosaur, and the day he made a new friend.

“You have a lot here, Kellin,” Mrs. Miller said. “Do you know which one you want to draw?”

Kellin shook his head. “I like all of them!” He hadn’t realized how much of an attachment he had to each of the memories. He frowned. “How am I supposed to pick?”

“Well, when you think of the time you were the most happy, what do you think about? Whatever it is, draw that.” Kellin thought the words over as Mrs. Miller left to speak to another student.

What was the happiest moment in his life? How could he figure that out before class ended? The answer was he couldn’t. Specials ended before Kellin had made a decision. That frustrated the boy, and he took that frustration with him to lunch.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jack asked when he noticed his blond friend was surprisingly in a bad mood. As usual, Jack, Jesse, and Kellin were sitting behind each other at their respective lunch tables so they could turn and talk to each other when they were done eating.

“Mrs. Miller wants us to draw a picture of a happy moment in our life,” Kellin answered, “and I can’t think of what I wanna draw.”

“But you’re like, the happiest person I know,” the brunette said. Jesse nodded along. “How can you not think of something?”

“I did, but I have so many that I can’t pick just one. And Mrs. Miller won’t let me draw all of my ideas.” Kellin huffed at the end of his sentence. He was annoyed that his teacher didn’t allow him to draw more than one idea, no matter how much he begged.

“Man, I’m gonna hate this project,” Jesse said with a shake of his head. Jack looked to him and nodded in agreement. If Kellin was having so much trouble, then the two of them were goners.

“Okay, but what am I supposed to do?” Kellin asked in annoyance. This wasn’t about them, it was about him, and he needed advice.

“Just close your eyes and point to something,” Jack suggested. Kellin pouted. He would have loved to do that if he didn’t feel so connected to all of the things on that list. Blindly picking one wouldn’t sit right with him. He wanted to genuinely draw the moment.

He explained this to his friends who offered less than helpful solutions. They meant well but Kellin was stubborn. He wanted it to be his way, but his brain and Mrs. Miller were making that difficult.

He kept up with his frustration as he went out to the playground with his class. He kicked rocks down the sidewalk that lead to the jungle gym and swing sets, opting to walk away from the tree he had sat under for weeks. He couldn’t be bothered with sitting still; he needed to do something to help this feeling building up in his chest.

Ms. Barnes’ homeroom came outside shortly after Kellin’s class had. Vic walked toward his familiar spot but was surprised to see that his new friend wasn’t there. Usually when one of their classes came outside before the other, the boy would be under the tree waiting for his friend. But today there was no Kellin. Where did he go? Was he abandoning him? It was about time, Vic thought sadly.

Vic wanted to sit in silence and wallow in his broken heart, but he heard a sound that drew his attention.

The brunette turned his head to the left and saw his new friend. Kellin was seemingly upset and was kicking gravel into the metal frame of the swing set, enjoying the harsh clicks and dings of the two objects meeting.

Vic, unsure why his always bubbly friend was in such a mood, slowly walked over to him. “Kellin?” he said softly. The blond boy ignored him; he didn’t want to talk. He was so frustrated that the only sounds he could hear were the rocks hitting metal and his heavy breathing as he kicked harder and harder.

“Kellin?” Vic tried again. When the boy didn’t respond Vic took it upon himself to get his attention. He put a calming hand on his friend’s shoulder which startled him. Kellin let out a high-pitched yelp as his body jerked up. He hadn’t realized someone was behind him.

“Sorry,” Vic said sheepishly, “I didn’t mean to scare you.” Kellin just huffed and turned his head away from his friend. “Is everything okay?”

“No,” Kellin muttered.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

The bright-eyed boy blew an angry breath from his nose. “No,” he answered, “I wanna swing.” Without another word Kellin took a few steps toward an empty swing and sat in the seat. He wanted to continue kicking rocks so that’s what he did. He sat on the seat and kicked the gravel underneath him, not intending to rock himself back and forth but achieving that anyway.

Vic didn’t know what to do. Kellin hadn’t invited him to swing with him, but he didn’t want to leave his upset friend alone. With a sigh he made a decision and sat in the swing next to Kellin. He hoped that Kellin wouldn’t tell him to go away, but in actuality, he was glad that Vic didn’t abandon him.

The two sat in silence for a few minutes, neither boy knowing what to say. This was foreign to both of them; they had been speaking to each other since the day they met. It was all different and uncomfortable, especially to Vic. He never knew Kellin could be so quiet and that alone worried him. Whatever was bothering him needed to be put out in the open so he could have his friend back.

“Did you wanna talk?” Vic eventually asked.

Kellin sighed at the brown-eyed boy’s question. He didn’t want to talk, but he knew that Vic cared enough to stay with him while he was upset. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to open up to him.

“Vic?” The other boy hummed. “What’s a happy moment from your life?”

Vic looked at Kellin with furrowed brows. “Huh?”

Kellin sighed before he began his rambling. “Mrs. Miller is making us draw happy moments from our lives and I have a few but she only wants me to draw one, but I don’t think that’s fair to the other moments because they all mean so much to me. Jack and Jesse told me to just close my eyes and pick one, but I don’t wanna just draw a random moment that I didn’t really wanna draw in the first place, you know?”

Vic nodded slowly. “Yeah…”

“It’s just so frustrating because so many good things have happened to me, but I feel so stupid that I can’t just pick one.” Kellin frowned when he was done, looking down at his shoes that were still kicking the rocks below.

“I’m sorry.”

Kellin quirked an eyebrow. “For what?”

Vic shrugged. He wasn’t sure why he apologized, but he knew it made people feel better so why not?

It looked as if his kind gesture worked because Kellin’s lips finally turned up in a small smile. “Well, thanks.” Vic smiled back before he nudged his feet off the ground and began swinging slowly. Kellin looked at his friend rocking back and forth. “So what would you draw?” he asked.

Vic looked to his left. “For Mrs. Miller?” Kellin nodded. “Uh…”

The brunette had to think about it. It wasn’t easy for him to find happy moments in life, but knowing he had to before the next day when he had art put a bit of pressure on him. What would he draw?

“I guess I’d draw a picture of me reading to my brother. He loves when we read together, and it makes me happy too. Or I’d draw a picture of my new house. I finally have my own room and that’s pretty cool. Or maybe when we went to Universal over the summer. That was a lot of fun.”

Kellin nodded along as Vic spoke. “Okay, but which one of those was the happiest moment?”

Vic stopped swinging and looked up at the sky. There were some light clouds passing over the sun and a cool breeze rustling through the trees around them. It reminded him of the good feeling he had over the weekend; that even though he was at school and not sitting in his backyard, he was still content.

“None of them,” he answered with a soft smile. Kellin opened his mouth to continue his questioning, but Vic cut him off before he could start. “I mean, getting my own room was nice, and Universal was fun, and I always read to my brother so that’s a happiness that never leaves, but they aren’t the happiest things that have happened.”

“So what is?”

Vic bit his lip, embarrassed to admit the reason why he had been so happy lately, but fighting through it to say, “The day we met.”

Kellin’s wyes went wide. “Really?” The brown-eyed boy nodded. “Why?”

“Because that was the day I made a friend.”

“At this school?”

“Yeah…and ever.” Vic mumbled the last part, his cheeks beginning to burn.

“Ever?” Kellin was confused again. He chewed on his bottom lip as he thought over what his friend was telling him. “Wait, I’m your first friend?”

Vic nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re kinda my only friend.”

Kellin didn’t say anything. What could he say? What was he going to say when the shock wore off? His new friend had never had a friend before. Was that weird? Was it because he was weird? All of these questions swirled around Vic’s mind as he watched the boy next to him go through different confused expressions.

“Kellin?”

“Does that mean I’m your best friend?”

Vic blew out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and shrugged. He didn’t know how to answer that. He didn’t know anything about best friends since Kellin was the first and only friend he’d ever had. “I guess?”

The blond boy’s eyes lit up and became brighter than before. His lips broke out into a wide smile. “Oh wow that’s so cool! I think you’re my best friend too! I mean, Jack and Jesse are too but I don’t like playing with them as much as I like playing with you. And we can talk about Pokémon and I don’t feel like a dork. Yeah, I think you’re my best friend too.”

Vic couldn’t help but smile back. The content feeling turned into one of utter happiness. Not only was Kellin in a better mood but he had admitted that they were best friends. It was enough to make the grumpiest person feel warmth in their heart.

The two boys stayed on the swings and talked about their weekend. Of course, that meant discussing the latest episodes of Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh. When recess was over, they went inside their classrooms and left each other notes in their desks, hoping to continue the conversations from outside.

The next day Vic went to art and made good on his words from the day before. He drew a picture of himself sitting with Kellin under their tree. Both boys had smiles on their faces as they read the book in Vic’s hands. And since Vic had known exactly what he wanted to draw before he got to class that day, he was able to make two copies of the picture: one to turn in to Mrs. Miller that he drew in class and one he’d drawn the night before with more detail to give to Kellin with a note written on the back.

For my best friend

Kellin received the picture the day after and kept it in a folder with all of the other pictures and notes he’d gotten from Vic. The following Monday he went back to art and drew a picture of him and Vic soaring through the sky on the swings. It wasn’t necessarily the happiest moment in his life, but he had too many moments with Vic to just pick one.

[courtof-storms]

The Demoness Shows Herself, part 2

Previously: 1

------ ------

What the hells was I thinking just then, Elise could’ve totally killed me back there? I thought as I walked, turning down an alley and pulling a phial of blood out of my pocket. I pulled my scarf down from my face and paused for a bit to drink the phial’s contents and dropped it to the ground. It helped for a bit with the nerves but I was still pretty shaken...that’s a new one. I took a second to catch my breath and put my scarf back over my face before leaving the alley and heading down the hill towards the entrance to the Darkwild, I remember Alexandrea saying their alchemist friend was close to the entrance to that place. The sky got darker the closer I got to the entrance even though the sun was still out, at least that’s one good thing about the Darkwild, no dealing with those bright balls of mayhem in the sky.

I started looking around at the signs on the shops, looking for an alchemy shop and found one at the end of the street and there was a crowd gathered at the entrance, did something happen? I walked a bit faster, worried about what could’ve happened and before I knew it I was on the brink of a sprint by the time I got to the back end of the crowd.

“What happened? What’s going on?!” I asked, grabbing the closest bystander and turning her around.

“Uh, I don’t know, but it looks like there was a fight-” The tiefling woman started as I looked around and saw the bodies of two dragonborn and...oh no. I raced through the crowd, pushing everyone aside as I rushed forward.

“Alexandrea!” I shouted as I broke through the crowd and went into the shop only to see them curled up on the ground, tears streaming down their cheeks. I rushed over to them, taking off my scarf and wiping the tears from their eyes. They looked up at my face and started crying even more.

“I-I’m sorry...I...I wasn’t strong enough.” They apologized through their tears. Fuck what am I supposed to do, I don’t know how to comfort someone, I thought, hesitating a bit before gently wrapping my arms around them and looking around the shop, seeing two dragonborn on the ground, one with a phial in their eye and the other just knocked out cold, the hair on both of them a warm orange hue as they lay down. There was broken glass all over the ground and unfinished potions were spilled all over the table and countertop. I noticed a reflective surface on the ground next to the unconscious dragonborn and I reached out, taking it in my hand and bringing it to my face to study it.

It was very well polished, had a small dent on the side and a crest of a dagger wrapped in a rose stem in the middle. It was an odd crest, not one I had recognized and threw it back on the floor, not wanting to look at it anymore. Someone else came through the crowd and fell on the ground in front of me, it...it was the tiefling woman I ran into when I first came to the scene.

She was cute, her black hair was kept tied up in a ponytail that was then braided and tied up again at the end of it, her eyes were a gorgeous silver and her horns started above her ears and wrapped around to the front of her forehead before curling back over the top of her head adding about six inches of height to her body overall. Her white dress had what looked like sapphire sewn into the neckline and when I looked back up to her face it was calm and focused.

“Are these two alive?” She asked, turning her attention to me and Alexandrea suddenly. I turned away, hoping she didn’t see how much I was blushing.

“Ma’am, are these dragonborn alive?” She asked again. Wait ma’am, was she talking to Alexandrea or me...hold on why did that confuse me?\

“I uh...I don’t…” I started, stumbling my way through my words. Alexandrea managed to sit up, wincing in pain a bit as they did so.

“They’re unconscious, but alive, if her words are to be trusted…” They replied, sniffling a bit as they did so. I sighed in relief when they spoke and shuffled around, trying to get my bag off and reach into it. I pulled a phial out and opened it, bringing it to their lips.

“Drink this Alexandrea, it’ll help you heal a bit faster.” I told them, they hesitated before taking the phial in their hands and drinking it. The woman watched and was confused.

“What’s that?” She asked, nodding at the phial.

“It’s...blood, it can help them...and me heal. Can’t heal immediately but it can get us back up on our feet faster than just letting us heal normally.” I told her nervously. She nodded in response, not saying anything about it instead turning to the dragonborn with the phial in their eye and slowly taking the glass out. Me and Alexandrea watched her work, nervously wanting her to take care of the injured.

“You have a name Miss?” Alexandrea asked, clutching their side.

“I’ll give it to you when I get all the glass out of this dragonborn’s eye...speaking of, I could use the help of both of you.” She said, waving both of us over. I nodded, getting to my feet and helping Alexandrea to theirs before walking closer to the tiefling woman, holding Alexandrea up on the way.

“Ok I need someone to be ready with something to catch the blood when I take this out of their eye, and someone to hold them down. This uh...won’t be painless…”

“I can hold them down, Alexandrea, you stop the bleeding.” I replied, Alexandrea nodded, looking around for a cloth they could use before finding my scarf and positioning it under the dragonborn’s eye. I stepped forward a bit and opened the vials on my belt, summoning the blood from them and fashioning it into restraints before wrapping them over him and making sure they were tight. The woman studied both me and my sibling and noticed both the wound on my neck and the wound on their chest and was puzzled but shook her head and focused on the task at hand.

“Please be alive Kellin.” Alexandrea pleaded to the dragonborn, tears forming in their eyes.

“We’re ready, do it.” I told her. She nodded and took a deep breath before taking the phial out of Kellin’s eye. Kellin screamed when the glass left his eye and his hair went right to a blue flame. He struggled against the restraints I have him in and I could tell he was able to break them if I didn’t keep my concentration.

“Stay calm Kellin, we’re trying to help you,” The woman started before turning to me. “I need you to keep his eye open so I can get all the glass out.”

She instructed me, I nodded and opened another phial on my belt, summoning the blood from it in the form of claws and working them under his eyelids to keep them open as the woman worked with precision and grace, getting every miniscule amount of glass out of Kellin’s eye as he screamed, reminding me of the feral Risen when they first wake up...I hate how my mind instantly went there, reminding me of how I was. I shook my head trying to clear my mind and get back on the task at hand.

My lapse in concentration was more than enough time for Kellin to get an arm free before I was back fully in the game and he flailed his free arm around wildly, shaking Alexandrea off of him and slapping me away. Kill him, he wants to die if he’s fighting us as we try to save him I thought, shaking my head back and forth to get those thoughts out of my head as I opened the rest of the phials on my belt and used the blood to cushion my impact against the wall and slow my fall to the floor before using it to get me back to Kellin slightly before Alexandrea.

“I’m sorry for this.” Alexandrea told him before balling their hand up into a fist and punching him multiple times across the face, with the dragonborn finally falling unconscious again after five clean hits across his face. I sighed and used the rest of the blood I summoned into a stronger full body restraint around him.

“Sorry about that, lost focus a bit.” I apologized, getting back on track and focusing again on the blood that had once been a claw but now looked like...something not a claw, more fingerlike, if the fingers were shorter and fatter. After a couple seconds, the fingers were back to looking like a claw and Kellin’s eye was again forced open. The woman didn’t say anything, instead went back in to fish out the rest of the glass.

“Are you sure he’s out cold?” She asked, turning to Alexandrea. They nodded, patting the blood out from under his eye.

“Ok, are you sure he won’t break free again, elf?” She asked, turning to me now, her eyes like daggers now but...not out of hostility, more like she was trying to figure me out, probably hoping I wasn’t like the elves from back then.

“He’s secure.” I told her, gods she’s pretty but I can’t focus on that now. I have to make sure Kellin won’t go free again. Just one more thing to do to make sure I don’t lose concentration again. I fashioned some excess blood that was still under my feet into a strip before positioning it over his mouth and making sure I only covered his mouth, though after a second I realized how hard that was and instead wrapped it around his muzzle tight, keeping his nose uncovered.

“Ok, goddess be with me.” She said, taking a deep breath before focusing and the next thing I knew Kellin’s eye was...I don’t know how to describe it besides...reverting back to how it was I want to say.

“Time magic?” I asked her. She didn’t reply, concentrating too hard.

Kellin’s other eye burst open and he tried to scream out in pain again but couldn’t thankfully since I restrained his muzzle. He struggled against the restraints both around his muzzle and his entire body as pain coursed through his body. However a few seconds after he began screaming the woman was done with his eye and she collapsed, sweat covering her horns and forehead as she took multiple deep breaths. Alexandrea wiped what remained of the blood from Kellin with my scarf before handing it to her. She took it and patted her face and horns down. A short while after Kellin passed out again and I started putting the blood back into the phials on my belt, starting with the claw that kept his eye open, then the restraint on his face, and finally everything covering his body, after doing so I was finally able to rest.

I didn’t realize how much my heart was beating until it was over, my breathing was a bit faster than normal but I was fine otherwise. I looked over to Alexandrea and they looked much worse than me or the woman ever did. They were hunched over and seemingly about to cry again. I made my way over to them and did my best to comfort them without exactly knowing how to.

The woman got up and stumbled a bit when she got to her feet, catching herself on the edge of the table and using it as support.

“I’m Cagliostro.” The tiefling woman said before looking back at me and Alexandrea. I forgot she said she’d introduce herself when she was done helping Kellin.

“I’m Ral, and my sibling here is Alexandrea.” I told her before getting to my feet and gently leading Alexandrea to their feet. They got to their feet shortly after me and wiped their eyes.

“What happened here?” Cagliostro asked, looking around the alchemical shop and the mess that was all around us.

“Elise…” Alexandrea replied. Cagliostro’s back stiffened and she looked back at both of us, her gorgeous eyes had lost their luster and fear emanated from every fiber of her being.

“Th-the demoness Elise...the one who started the second war? The same Elise who steals children under cover of night leaves their bodies in the forest never to be seen again? That Elise?!” She asked, her fear growing with each word she said.

“Yeah...that one…” Alexandrea replied, nervously scratching the back of their neck. Cagliostro looked to Alexandrea, then me, then the scene around her and almost fainted then and there.

“What did you do to...wait a second I recognize you. I saw you attack her in the market two days ago.” She said, the fear only growing in her as she  walked backwards into a counter.

“A-and you, you’re this crazy bitch’s sister?! I saw her use blood magic in the market and you can use it also...I have to get out of here. She’ll come for me next.” Cagliostro said before stumbling forward and running for the door. Thankfully the other dragonborn on the ground got to their feet and caught her, giving her...a hug.

“Thank you for saving my boyfriend…” She said with tears in her eyes. Cagliostro was caught off guard by the dragonborn’s sudden awakening.

“Ren, you’re awake!” Alexandrea exclaimed, a giant smile stretching across their face as they rushed to hug the dragonborn. I stayed where I was, trying to figure out something to quell Cagliostro’s fear.

“You have nothing to worry about Cagliostro, Elise is...well, she uh…” I started, quickly losing what I wanted to say.

“She just left a while ago, but you’re safe Miss Cagliostro.” Alexandrea told her, pulling away from Ren to gently place a hand on the frightened woman’s back.

“I’m not safe here, I’ll be a target if I stay here.” She said, still rightfully freaking out.

“You will be because....because I don’t live here. What’s going on is between me and,” Alexandrea started, centering themself before continuing. “...our mother…”

Cagliostro’s expression went from fear to confusion to finally...anger. “Why the hells are you trying to kill your mother? How is the Demoness your mother? What the hells is going on here?!” She shouted, anger and confusion in her tone as I hung my head and Alexandrea got even more adamant and steadfast in their posture.

“That can be explained sometime later, preferably over a meal. Will Kellin be alright if we leave him like this?” They asked as they made their way to their armor and put it on slowly.

“I uh...he’s fine, though someone should stay here for him when he wakes up so he isn’t confused.” Cagliostro said, pinching the bridge of her nose as her focus shifted to me.

“That cut on your neck, I can heal it for you.” She offered. I jumped in surprise at the suggestion more out of fear than excitement.

“N-no, it’s fine as it is, besides…” I started, immediately fumbling over my words as my face went red.

“Our wounds can’t be healed, I have tried everything. Trying to heal it only brings excruciating pain.” Alexandrea said as they got their breastplate on. Already the cuts they had on their cheeks and the back of their hands were healing.

“Oh...ok then, but you two still owe me an explanation for all of this.” Cagliostro said, crossing her arms in a huff. Gods she was pretty, her cheeks were full and her jawline was like immaculately carved rock. Now that I had the chance to look at her body as she stood up, it was great, her arms were well toned and lovely and her body gave me a feeling of...not quite lust...I guess envy would be the right word maybe? Either way I shook my head and looked at Kellin, still out like the night.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get that in due time...before the day ends since I’m starving. Join us for food.” Alexandrea said, though their words made it sound like Cagliostro didn’t have much of a choice. I guess she realized that and sighed.

“My family owns a restaurant fairly close to here, we can go there.” She offered, me and Alexandrea nodded in response. Cagliostro looked down and saw that she was still holding onto the scarf and focused for a bit before handing it back to me all cleaned.

“Here...you know you have a cute face, why do you hide it under this scarf?” She asked me as she handed it back which only caused me to blush even harder as I took my scarf back and wrapped it around my neck and over the bottom half of my face before replying.

“Uh...thank you, I guess…”

“Sounds good, why don’t you lead the way, Miss Cagliostro.” Alexandrea said, a smile on their face as they put their boots on and grabbed their sword and made their way to the door. Cagliostro nodded and followed close behind them while I put a hand on Ren’s shoulder.

“Thank you for bandaging them up.” I told her, she looked up at me and smiled, nodding in response before picking up Kellin and moving him to the bed as I left, closing the door behind me.

[justsomebandfanfics]

Remaining requests

Okay everyone, the ask is closed for requests! This so that (for once) I can make my way through all of the remaining requests on this blog. These are the upcoming pieces you can expect me to be working on/posting to the blog:

Of Mice & Men:

Hey, so I dont know if you’ll write something like this but I really had a shitty day and I thought I try and request something. Maybe where you are austin carliles girlfriend and are on tour with him but then at night the bus gets in a crash and you stuck in the bus. Austin then pulls you out but you are unconscious and blood covered. At the hospital the doctors tell him you wont make it but he stays with you all the time and then you wake up again ? Thanks in advance and maybe his pov :)

would one of you like to write an valentino arteaga one? maybe where y/n is about to jump from a bridge and tino sees her and stops her and talk to her holding her arm just in case that she wouldnt jump. and 8 years later they are married and have a kid (4 years old) and they are talking about the ‘story with the bridge’ ? long and fluffy? i love your work 💖

Could you do an Austin Carlile one where you two get into a huge fight, so you end up breaking up. Then maybe like a month later he visits you at your work and just breaks down crying and you two get back together?

can you please write one where y/n needs tuition in math or so? and austin is pretty good in math and she’s going to be angry because she don’t get it. then they yell at eachother and he press her against the wall and they’ll have rough sex? (sorry for my bad english) 

Something about your friend being austins sister pleeease? (Yes ik hes an only child but :p)

Pierce the Veil:

Hiya! This is my first request and it’s really specific sorry! :P Mike fuentes maybe? The plot is that he’s on tour and you’re at home working your usual job but your boss has been sexually harressing/making you uncomfortable and one day your boss goes too far and you go home crying and try calling Mike and he doesn’t answer so you skype Tony crying and then protective/angry Mike fluff! Thank you! I hope you will be able to do it, I wanted this for ages!

omg i have the best idea ever! can you pleeeease write an ptv imagine based on the video from king for a day but with y/n instead of kellin?

Hey could you do a tony perry one where y/n interviews him for her YouTube channel and tony asks her out then smut/fluff and tonys all dominant! Would be great thanks x

can you please write a tony perry one where y/n and the band go to a remote bridge and they start to spray (with masks on) it and they have so much fun until they see a police car and y/n dont get it and tony takes her hand and start running. after a while jaime vic and mike are nowhere to find and tony and y/n hide behind a bush and he has to hold her mouth just to be quite. then they find the others and have more fun? would be great 😂

can you please do a tony perry imagine where you’re with a different guy who pressures you to send racy pictures to him and you do hesitantly, but he dumps you straight after and you’re embarrassed and upset that you sent the pictures to the other guy so tony comforts you (its a weird plot, you dont have to do it if you dont want haha) I’m not sure if it would make sense for tony and y/n to end up together but you can end how you like :)

Bring Me The Horizon:

Could you a Matt Nichols one? Where all the bmth guys are sorta bad asses and he constantly hits on you but you think he’s just an ass then you end up in detention with him and in detention you are paired to clean the library and stuff. Then he admits he actually likes her and she likes him and fluff??

Other bands (these will be the last requests for them):

Can u do one where you’re dating Austin carlile & you catch him cheating & you go to Ben Bruce (he’s a close friend who u know has feelings for you) and y/n ends up realizing she and Ben were meant to be. Then smut because it’s Ben Fucking Bruce ;_;

Can you make a black veil brides fanfic next ,like what could happen is there touring and they get a flat tire in the middle of nowhere and when they get out of the bus they see a girl passed out with bruises and wounds and they decide to take her in the bus and discover they have no service and then she wakes up and tells them what happened ,she could be running away from an abusive boyfriend of something, so then they all have to fend for them selves because they in the middle of no where with no service and then she and a band member could start liking othr and then it could turn into smut/fluff stuff ,just a suggestion ,I love your writing ^.^

[piercetheana13x]

Coffee Kellin Quinn x reader

Let’s just pretend Katelynn is not with Kellin in this story. (I am posting all my stories from my wattpad first then I will write new ones)

………………………………………………….

You were just walking to the coffee shop because hey you actually woke up early this time. Anyway as you walk in you noticed it was packed and there was only one table left. A table for just two people. Great another thing to remind me about how single I’ll ever be. You thought miserably. You got your coffee and quickly sat down, scrolling on your phone while blasting Sleeping With Sirens in your earbuds.

Kellins POV

I actually woke up early today so I thought why not get a coffee. I was glad to see there was nothing but hipsters and Katy Perry lovers in this place so I don’t have to deal with any of the fans. Hell I love them but sometimes I need my Kellin time you know. As I got my coffee I realized there were no more seats left. Well except one. There was a beautiful girl sitting across from an empty chair. She was just on her phone. So I decide I’ll ask if I could sit with her. Hey who knows maybe I’ll get a number. Kellins thoughts made him smile to himself as he walked over.

Your POV

As I was on my phone I heard someone ask me something but I didn’t hear correctly just a middle voice because hey I love my music. I take off my ear buds and look up. Wait was Kellin fucking Quinn asking me something?! “Hey umm excuse me miss I was wondering if I could sit with you? All the other seats are taken and you look lonely.” He asked puppy eyed. “Oh yeah sure go right ahead.” You quickly said. “Now can I ask what’s a beautiful girl like you sitting all alone?” He smiled as he took a seat. Your cheeks turned crimson. Did he just call me beautiful oh gosh he is the beautiful one not me?! You thought.

Kellins POV

“Well I believe I did call you beautiful miss and thanks for the compliment.” I chuckle. I look at her and give her a flirty smile, as her cheeks grow really red. She’s so adorable with her (your eye color) eyes. “D-did I say that out loud?” She asks. “Yes you did so might I ask what your name is cutie?” I continue. “Oh umm my name is (y/n) ,and you’re Kellin from Sleeping with Sirens right?” (y/n) said. “Well from what I remember yeah so you’re a fan? What other bands do you like, other then mine of course.” I wink. “Well there’s a lot of bands I like! I mean there’s Pierce The Veil, Metro Station, Three Days Grace , and so many more!” She excitedly said. You know what for a fan she’s different… I like her. Great music taste. Beautiful. Awkward but cute. She treats me like I’m human and not a prize, she doesn’t fight to get an autograph, she is just herself she doesn’t need to fake it for me.

Your POV

We talked for like hours! After we had a conversation about a lot of things I finally decide to check the time. “Holy shit! It almost noon I’m gonna be late for work!” I yelled! I quickly grab my things and pay for my coffee. “I’m sorry Kellin as much as I’d love to stay with you I have to go!” I quickly dulled. I looked at him, exchanged numbers, both said goodbye and with that I ran outside for a cab. I called and one began to slow. Until. “Hey wait (y/n)!” I turned around to see a flustered Kellin. “Yes what is it?” I said hurriedly. He didn’t answer and he just looked at me. He put his hands on my shoulders and looked at me straight in the eyes and…. He kissed me! Omg omg. I kissed back not wanting this to end. We pulled away gasping for air. “(y/n) I know we just met earlier but will you be my Audrey Hepburn?!” I blushed. “As long as you’re my James Dean?!” I ask. He smiles. And we were walking to my cab. “So I think (Y/n) Quinn sounds good what about you?” He chuckled. “Of course it does!” I giggle. Then I head to work with a lovestruck look on my face. Thinking at how lucky my day has started.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ I have still some more fan fics to post then I shall take requests! Lol isn’t kellin just beautiful!

💚love Nana💚

[bthenoise]

Read What Members of Taking Back Sunday, Anti-Flag, Atreyu & More Picked For Their All-Time Favorite Warped Tour Memories

If you’ve ever attended the Vans Warped Tour, there’s a very good chance you’ve accumulated some sort of life-long memory. Be it positive or negative, it’s difficult to walk through Kevin Lyman’s world-renowned punk rock summer camp and not take away something memorable. 

Like most of you reading this at home, the bands who have graced the Warped Tour stages throughout its illustrious 25-year career have also garnered some pretty special memories as well. 

Take Sleeping With Sirens frontman Kellin Quinn, for example. From attending the traveling festival as a high school student to years later playing the main stages, Quinn has been able to make quite a career for himself thanks to Warped Tour.   

“My first Warped Tour memory was in 2004,” Quinn tells us at Warped’s recent 25th-anniversary show in Atlantic City. “I was in high school and I went to Warped Tour in Michigan and I got to see The Used. I saw Bert [McCracken, vocalist] jump off these crazy speaker stacks into the crowd, which is nuts. I got to meet Underoath and I got to watch From First To Last. That was the first time I ever saw [guitarist/producer] Matt Good and now me and Matt are really good friends.”

Talking with more Warped Tour vets in Atlantic City like members of Taking Back Sunday, Anti-Flag, Memphis May Fire, Atreyu and more, we were able to hear about some pretty interesting Warped Tour experiences -- like the impossible task of playing after Green Day or when somebody almost burned their bus down due to excessive fire shots.

To read what the seasoned musicians had to say about their unforgettable summers on the Warped Tour plus their heartfelt goodbye to Lyman’s influential and iconic festival, be sure to see below. For more Warped Tour coverage from Atlantic City, head here.   

Chris #2 - Anti-Flag

Favorite Warped Memory

My favorite Warped Tour memory of all time? That is really, really hard because we've done 11 Warped Tours. So I'm going to give you a top three and I'll keep them all very short. I loaded Eminem's gear onto his stage so I could watch him because he had a closed stage and his set was really cool. That was in '99. In 2000, we played last in Pittsburgh after Green Day and that was -- Green Day is my favorite band of all time and I wouldn't be here without [them]. Pittsburgh is our hometown so our entire families were on the stage, Green Day's drums are burning and they're like, "Okay Anti-Flag, good luck!" And the show was great so that was a really great experience. And then the last one, maybe being 2004. The whole focus of our show was about the re-election of George W. Bush and trying to influence people to get involved and get engaged and there was a record number of people registered to vote on that summer tour. It felt like there was real power in the music and the community of Warped Tour and that was something that I think if we harness [and] if we keep that part alive throughout all of this, then it will be worth something. To this day, we meet people who were registered to vote at those shows and are still active and still empathetic and to me, that's the win of it all.

Least Favorite Warped Memory

Okay, so we played after Green Day twice. We closed the main stage twice on that tour. The second one was in Philadelphia. After the show -- we had an amazing, amazing show, one of our best shows ever -- we get off stage and the audience fence is like, right behind the stage and there's a little opening.  Everyone is leaving the show because it's ended and everyone's kind of congratulating us and saying whatever. And then this one guy just says, "Hey, Pat" and Pat turns around thinking that guy's gonna say hi and he just sucker punches [Pat] in the face [laughs] and it was really funny to me because it was like, "Holy shit! Did that just happened?" But also, it was pretty terrible. He didn't get hurt or anything, the kid wasn't that strong. But it was just like the highest high of like, "Oh fuck, we closed the show. We ripped it, it was sick." And then someone punched one of our guys in the face [laughs].

Most Brutal Warped Tour Memory

In 2004, in Florida, there were people who were coming to the shows to fight. They were nationalists. They were, you know, for lack of a better term, searching out people who thought differently than them and tried to fight them. They all were wearing mouth guards. We started playing, we saw this happen and we just stopped. We had a 30-minute set and we were silent for about 17-20 minutes of the show. We were not going to play another note until the violence stopped because we're not a jukebox for violence. And eventually, people realized they were getting kicked out of the show and the shit wasn't going to fly and we were able to move on but that was one of the more brutal and testy moments in Warped Tour history.

Who was the first band you remember being starstruck by or just excited to be spending the summer with on Warped Tour?

It was definitely Green Day. But also in that same year was NOFX and Weezer for me. And that's insane. You know, that was the year where we signed to Fat [Wreck Chords] because Fat Mike saw the shows and he was wanting to invest in the band and help us. On the very first day of Warped Tour, I met Billie Joe Armstrong. And I said, "Hi, I'm a tremendous fan of your band. I play in a band called Anti-Flag." And then he asked me how the politics of Anti-Flag were lining up with doing a corporate-sponsored tour like Warped Tour and my head exploded [laughs]. I was like, "First off, you know who we are? Second of all, you know the politics of our band?!” So I gave him some bullshit answer that I'm sure I would use in an interview or whatever just to get out of there. Then I randomly called home like, "Billie Joe Armstrong knows who we are!" But yeah, being around that and seeing the humility of Green Day, it led to us later playing with them on the American Idiot Tour and doing some other things with them. I'm forever grateful for Warped Tour providing me that experience. Because, if it wasn't for seeing [Green Day] on TV -- because I loved music and I wanted to be around music -- it never crossed my mind that I was able to do it. And then I saw this person who had pimples and he looked like me and it wasn't that far off. They were just normal folks on TV and they did it. So why the hell couldn't I? That's why we take our shit into the crowd at the end of every show. That's why we've really worked to just destroy the barrier between audience and stage. For lack of a better reason other than we're just four assholes from Pittsburgh, anyone can do this.

Final Words To Warped Tour

Obviously, we want to thank Kevin for working as hard as he has over 25 years. We've been a part of a lot of [Warped Tours] and they're a big reason why the band has the history that we have in America. I'm hopeful that as it manipulates and manifests itself into whatever it is in the future, that we can be a part of it. But if nothing else, I hope that the people exposed to Warped Tour -- those that played it, those that put it on, those that worked in catering, those that came and were patrons and walked through the door -- that the idea can live on beyond the show. There is no band hierarchy. There is no separation between audience and band member. The people that built this thing are of this community and so any person who's out there who's got a song in their heart, anyone who's out there who gives a fuck about more than just themselves, you can do this. I'm just hopeful that the next version of it is just as empathetic and just as cool.

Matty Mullins - Memphis May Fire 

Favorite Warped Memory

I would say my favorite Warped memory is the Warped Tour 25th anniversary today on the Monster stage at 2:20pm. Honest to God, bro. I've said this for years, my favorite show that we've ever played was Sydney, Australia [at] Soundwave. It was just unbeatable in my head [and] today beat it. I think this is my favorite show we've ever played. I mean, [today was] a taste of Warped instead of doing the whole summer, which I think makes it that much more special. But I mean, like, how many times can a band like ours be a part of something that sold 35,000 tickets? It's just not an opportunity that most people will ever get in their lifetime. I mean, dude, the sea of people and the actual sea to the right of it, it was just insane man. So yeah, today was my favorite Warped Tour memory ever.

Least Favorite Warped Memory

Worst memory ever? Gotta be careful with that one Kevin's gonna read this [laughs]. My least favorite Warped Tour memory ever was probably our bass player Cory broke his pinky right before we went out. It was his left pinky right before we left for Warped Tour the first year we ever played it and he had a big cast around his two fingers. We really stressed out about it. That doesn't sound that crazy. I don't know. I love Warped Tour. Nothing bad. Nothing bad about Warped Tour.

Most Brutal Warped Tour Memory

Las Vegas, Nevada. Las Vegas, Nevada on the blacktop down on the strip was dangerous how hot it was. Like the heat coming off of the blacktop was like 130 degrees. That was brutal, bro. I've never played a show where I actually thought I might die and that was one.

Who was the first band you remember being starstruck by or just excited to be spending the summer with on Warped Tour?

I don't get starstruck very easily just because I was raised in such a different genre of music. But MXPX was a huge deal for me. So when Mike Herrea was playing with Goldfinger and I met Mike and just got to hang with him, I mean, that was a starstruck moment for sure.

Final Words To Warped Tour:

Gonna make me tear up, man. Thank you for this community. To Kevin [and] everyone behind the scenes, but also to everyone that came to Warped Tour, everyone is part of this community. This will never die, the memories will live on but also the relationships that we've created will always live on. We would not be the band that we are today if it wasn't for Warped Tour and the four years we got to play it. So thank you. Thank you for everything.

Kellin Quinn & Jack Fowler - Sleeping With Sirens

Favorite Warped Memory

Kellin: I have a lot of favorite Warped Tour memories. So I think just being a part of the tour is my favorite memory. You know, like every time we come in and we're a part of Warped Tour and we get to see our friends and our family, it's always just a really good time for us.

Jack: Yeah, the first Warped Tour we ever did we were on the Monster Energy stage, not the main stage. Being out there every single day and seeing people show up, it was like the first summer tour we ever did. We were like, "Oh my god, something's happening! Like it's actually happening." So I think it's 2012 Warped, one of my favorite Warped Tours.

Least Favorite Warped Memory

Kellin: My worst Warped memory is knowing that there are only two more Warped shows left! It feels weird knowing that something I grew up going to, something I got to be a part of, is actually ending.

Jack: My least favorite Warped Tour memory was when we were trying to do flaming shots with Everclear and I accidentally blew one too hard and almost caught our whole bus on fire. Like a wall just went up in flames. And I was like, "Well, I'm not going to do this shit anymore."

Most Brutal Warped Tour Memory

Jack: Someone got struck by lightning in West Palm Beach one year. That's pretty brutal. One time we started a song and had to stop halfway through and had to restart the song. That's pretty brutal.

Kellin: Yeah, that was brutal. I had kids mudslide down a hill one time. It was raining. That was pretty sweet.

Jack: But that wasn't that brutal.

Kellin: It wasn't brutal. But maybe those kids getting in their parents' car after the show, [that] might have been brutal for the seats.

Who was the first band you remember being starstruck by or just excited to be spending the summer with on Warped Tour?

Jack: The first Warped Tour I went to I walked in and As I Lay Dying was playing and I was like, "This. Is. Incredible." So As I Lay Dying was my first like Warped Tour memory.

Kellin: I'd say for me, probably Every Time I Die because [when] I was a kid I bought an Every Time I Die CD, and I can't remember which one it was right now, but it had a DVD with them on it too. It was like them by their pool, like cooking food and like live stuff. So just getting to see their live show [in person] was awesome and we really love those dudes now.

Final Words To Warped Tour:

Kellin: Warped Tour, you've been amazing. You've been kind. You've been hospitable. We love you. Thank you so much for having us for so many years.

Jack: Thank you Kevin, Lisa, Kate and all the other people who have made this tour possible. So happy we were able to be a part of it for so many years, we couldn’t thank you enough.

Brandon Saller - Atreyu

Favorite Warped Memory

All-time [favorite] Warped Tour memory? That's so hard. I feel like my first time I ever went to Warped Tour was -- I can't remember the year it was so long ago. It was in Anaheim when they used to do it outside of the Arrowhead Pond which was weird becuase it was like half under a freeway but I remember seeing like Papa Roach and AFI and like so many bands that I obviously wanted to see. But it [was] the first time I was ever exposed to something like [Warped where] it's just something on such a massive scale and like everywhere you look rad bands are playing. 

Then playing it for the first time, the vibe was awesome. That year was like the golden year I think for me. It was us, My Chem, Fall Out Boy, Avenged Sevenfold, Underoath, Motion City Soundtrack. So many great bands. [*Noodles of The Offspring walks by*] They were on it. Transplants were on a bunch of dates, it was just like on and on and on so it was cool to be part of that. I remember we played our home show and we played early that day. There was a bunch of traffic getting in so me and I think Dan [Jacobs, guitarist] or someone was on stage waiting to go on and the rest of our band was literally running up the hill ‘cause the traffic was so bad. They had to run like two miles up the hill and we ended up going on like four minutes late. That was a good memory.

Least Favorite Warped Memory

There aren't many bad ones, you know? [Warped] is always hot. The catering lines are long, but that's just part of the deal. It's a good time. There's always such good hangs. Like even the last one we did a few years back, Good Charlotte was on it and we're really good buddies with them. So [it’s] just like hanging out with friends you don't get to see all the time, you know? It's a vibe, Warped has always been a cool vibe.

Most Brutal Warped Tour Memory

I think the hottest it's been on a Warped show [for us], I think was maybe around like 110 on stage. It was pretty brutal. It's just brutal all day. Like, I’m usually a five-shirt-a-day kind of dude on Warped. Like it's a system. You wake up in the shirt you wore last the night before. That lasts you until you get back from catering because after that walk you're sweaty. You change into a new shirt, wear that until showtime. Put on a show shirt, then after the show put on the shirt you had on before the shirt show. That should last you another like two hours untill the other catering walk. And then there's like a nighttime shirt which you wear till the next morning. It's just non-stop sweat. I'm a big dude.

Who was the first band you remember being starstruck by or just excited to be spending the summer with on Warped Tour?

I think on that first one we did in '05, obviously, bands like Transplants are crazy because it was like Tim Armstrong and Travis Barker. Like, whoa. I remember being a big My Chem fan and then on that tour, kind of becoming friends with them. There were a lot of bands that were in our genre exploding. So it was like, I think just the general awe of being around so many people who you don't know yet. There's always that weird barrier of like, "You know what band I'm in and I know what band you're in but we don't know each other yet so it'll be awkward for two weeks and then we'll become friends." It's like a lot of that where it's not necessarily maybe “starstruck” but it's just like, “I want to talk to that dude, I like that guy's band but it's not the right time yet.” You have to find that right moment in line on the way to catering or like at the coffee. A lot of the My Chem dudes, like me Gerard and Mikey would always meet at the coffee machine because we were the three dudes in like black pants and t-shirts getting coffee in 110-degree weather. So that was our common ground.

Final Words To Warped Tour:

It's been a great chunk of time. I have a feeling that hopefully, you know the sparkle will stay alive with these kinds of anniversary shows and stuff like that. But I mean, you can see it today, this is the biggest and best lineup I've ever seen Warped Tour have ever and it's like this is how you're going out? It's kind of going out with a bang, you know? It’s awesome.

Adam Lazzara & John Nolan - Taking Back Sunday

Favorite Warped Memory

Adam: One of my favorite Warped Tour memories of all time was there was a show, and it was at Randalls Island in New York. Whenever the tour went through New York, everyone would try to go into the city afterward so I stayed back. Most of all the tour was gone, so it was just abnormally quiet. It was actually kind of nice. So I'm sitting out beside the bus in one of those folding camping chairs and then I just hear kind of like this rumble. I'm looking around like, "What is that?" And then there's like this big thing of hedges, like bushes, and then you just see them start to rustle. It was like a movie, I couldn't believe it. And then out from the middle of the bushes comes Tucker Rule [drummer, Thursday] with a cigarette and beer driving with his knee just as fast as this golf cart could go. And so as he's going by, he looks and sees me and just goes, "Hey!" and takes off. So I'm sitting there like, "Well, that was fun." And then five minutes later here comes their tour manager and he comes tearing around the corner and stops and says, "Adam, have you seen Tucker?!" I'm like, "That way!" and then he just takes off after him. I'm not sure how it ended but neither of them were supposed to have the golf carts. It was real fun.

John: So in 2007, I was on the Warped Tour with Straylight Run at that time, and a guy in one of the bands comes up and knocks on the door of our bus. And I had kind of seen him around, you know, but it was vaguely familiar. And when he knocks on the door, I answer and he asked for a wine opener and I'm like, "Yeah, come on in" and I get him the wine opener. We kind of talk for a minute or two. And then I turned around and Shaun [Cooper], the bass player for the band, is just like wide-eyed and like in awe and he's like, "Do you know who that was!?” I'm like, "No, I don't know." He's like, "That's so and so from Bad Religion!" He's like...

Adam: Brian Baker.

John: Brian Baker, yeah. Like, I know who Bad Religion is but like I've never really like spent any time -- but yeah, [Shaun] was like starstruck and I lent him a bottle opener.

Adam: And now you guys are best friends.

John: Now we're best friends.

Least Favorite Warped Memory

Adam: Anytime you have to go to the bathroom during the day ‘cause it's like porta-potties. So like, okay, say doors open at 10, right? Or what? 10-11 in the afternoon? No, like noon. So doors open around noon. Now come like seven o'clock at night. That thing's just been sitting out in the Florida heat. And you need to use the restroom and that's the only one in sight, man. Your next best option is to walk 20 miles in any direction until you find one. So that's your only choice.

John: What about the trick that someone developed where you put a lock on the door but the door is actually open. It fools people into thinking it's locked. So it's like...

Adam: Oooooh. Like the like green, red thing and then so you think...

John: No, no, no, like an actual...

Adam: Padlock?

John: A padlock. But it won't be closed through the whole thing and locked. It's just sitting there to give the illusion of being locked. And you tell your friends "Hey, this one looks like it's locked but it's not. Yeah, porta-potty number four."

Adam: My thing with that is I would feel really bad about it for the first half of the day or like the first half of the tour and then at the end, I'd be like, you know, that's my fucking porta-potty. I can't do that shit anymore.

John: Taking Back Sunday played the whole Warped Tour in 2012 and towards the end of it, we had a show and it was probably like two in the afternoon. It had to be like 100 degrees. We'd been on Warped Tour forever at that point and I had definitely been drinking way too much the night before. I was probably only up for like an hour or two and barely hydrated or anything. Halfway through the set, my heart is pounding like harder and faster than it ever has. Sweat is pouring out of my body and I'm feeling dizzy and lightheaded. I literally was like, "I think I might die. This might be the way that I die." And then another part of my brain was like, "It's okay if we die like this. It'll be fine. At least you won't feel this way anymore."

Most Brutal Warped Tour Memory

Adam: Most brutal? I mean, the first place my head goes is to the heat because like Phoenix, Arizona. Ray threw up.

John: That's what I was gonna say.

Adam: Someone else on our crew passed out. I just felt so bad for everyone in the crowd because...

John: I think it was literally like 112 degrees or something.

Adam: Yeah, it was hot. I was wearing Chuck Taylors. And then as we were playing, when I would go do this [*lifts legs*] each time, it was like I had suction cups on my feet because my feet were melting to the stage.

Who was the first band you remember being starstruck by or just excited to be spending the summer with on Warped Tour?

Adam: Well, walking around [with] those NOFX or Bad Religion guys -- you know, that was a big deal. The first time we did Warped Tour it was in 2004, back when we were 13 years old. It was just crazy to be there and see those guys walking around because it's like, I felt that we were best friends already because I listened to their music so much.

Final Words To Warped Tour:

Adam: I'm really proud of you, Warped Tour. Really proud of you.

John: I'm glad you're still here. Is this the anniversary?

Adam: Yeah. 25 years.

John: 25 years? Congrats Warped Tour on 25 years. We didn't get you anything but we showed up so there's that.

Juliet Simms

Favorite Warped Memory

Okay, so it was 2011. I was doing Warped Tour acoustically. I was promoting my band Automatic Loveletter’s record The Kids Will Take Their Monsters On and I was on the Ernie Ball stage. It was about two weeks into the tour and I started to notice this very tall, very feminine, statuesque-type mannequin man appearing at my sets [with] big black long hair, crazy black eyeshadow and red lipstick. I was like, "What are you doing here?" And he had his security guard Yani with him at the time and they came to a couple sets. So one night, I wrapped up my set, was packing up my acoustic guitar and Danny Worsnop [vocalist, Asking Alexandria] had been watching and he's with his girlfriend at the time and he was like, "Oh, Juliet. I just love your music so much." He's like, "I've been a fan since I was in high school." I was like, "You're Danny Worsnop. Cool! This is awesome." 

You know, a funny thing about my band Automatic Loveletter: We never got really big but I always found that musicians really liked my band. So it's a pretty nice compliment [and] it would always surprise me because we weren't that big. And so when like, rock stars are coming to watch me play I was like, "Oooooooooh my god, I'm kind of a big deal, maybe?" So [Danny] was like, "Hey, do you want to come back for drinks after you're done? And I was like, "Sure, no problem!"

Wait, I'm skipping something so important. Before the Danny thing. The day before, I decided to go and check out [Andy Black’s] Black Veil Brides set because he had been coming to mine. I was like, "Well, I'll see what they're all about blah, blah, blah." Side note, guys. Andy and I had met in 2007 on a double date. He was with his girlfriend and I was with my boyfriend and his girlfriend was an actress and she loved my band and I loved her movies. We met on Twitter and decided to go on a double date. Okay, cut back to 2011. Andy and I didn't really like each other. At first, we did. At first, we got along so great. I hung out with his girlfriend just like three or four times, not that much. But we would get along really, really well and we would share tour stories and our love for music and all that. And then his girlfriend didn't like that so much. She did the shit-talking thing to him about me and then vice versa, me about him. So basically, we were like, "Ah fuck you." We were kids. You know how kids' minds work, we were very young. 

And so that's why I was really shocked when [Andy] was showing up at my sets. I was like, "We don't like each other. What are you doing here?" So I went to go and mad dog him and stare him down basically at his set. I went side-stage and I was standing there and he's on stage with Black Veil Brides and they've just got a sea of fucking people and I was like, "This motherfucker. He passed me!" And Andy's running around singing doing his thing and I'm just standing there with my arms crossed, just kind of glaring at him. And he looks over at me and he just gives me one of those fucking shit-eating grins that are just so fucking cute. My arms just dropped and I was just immediately like, "Oh my gosh, he is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my entire life." 

So then the next day, when Danny came over and invited me to his bus for drinks -- we're back to that part of the story. So I went to Danny's bus later that night and I open the door and I see Danny and his girlfriend and then the only other person on the bus was Andy. And Andy goes, "It worked!" He grabs a bottle of Jack and he goes, "We need to go talk" and I was like "Okay." So we went outside and we ended up sitting in the grass for like -- bus call that night was like 4am -- we sat and talked for seven or eight hours just about everything. We talked about what his girlfriend had said to him (they were broken up), we cleared that all up. I'm like, "Oh my god, that never happened. I never did that." And we just fell in love, that night. The next day, we told each other we were in love with each other. The following day, I moved onto his bus and two days after that, he asked me to move in with him after the tour. And then that was it, we've been together ever since. The rest is history. We've been together for eight years. Two months after we got together -- I've never told anybody this, we've never told anybody this -- we eloped in Vegas but we were so drunk at the time that we were not organized about it. It wasn't official -- we had gotten the marriage certificate but we had no witnesses and nobody signed the papers. It wasn't official. So that's why we had a real wedding in 2016. But yeah, we met and fell in love on Warped Tour, eloped in Vegas two months after.

Whose idea was Vegas?

Um, well, we were already engaged because he proposed like, five minutes after we got off the bus in LA. We were at dinner one night, this was right before I was going to audition for The Voice. We were just talking about when we wanted to get married and when it made sense and we were just looking at our schedule and he was going to be on tour for like 10 months. And he goes, "Let's just go to Vegas tonight." He's like, "Yeah, I want to marry you tonight. I want to marry you tonight." And I'm like, "Okay" so he's like, "Check [please]!" And we drove off to Vegas. It's pretty storybook, fairytale-esque."

Least Favorite Warped Memory

Oh man, that's a gross one. Oh my God. I mean, I have some really bad [stories]. Okay, guys. Listen, it is not easy being a woman on a festival tour, especially Warped Tour. So you wake up, you don't know when you're fucking playing. You know, you got to get your face together, be presentable. You have to go to the bathroom. You have your woman things. You get your period every month. It's very hard being a woman living on a bus on a festival tour. So that said -- oh my god this is so bad I don't even know if I should tell this, people are gonna think I'm disgusting. I won't go into too much detail but I was running to stage, I hadn't gone to the bathroom and we were the first band playing that day. And all of a sudden, I was like, "Oh, no, no, no." I had to use the restroom but what also happened at the same time was lady time. I didn't have a tampon on me so I had to make one. I had to run into a porta-potty and like Chuck Norris that shit [laughs]. Then I went on stage, did my thing and then handled it after. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do to not bleed into her pants in front of five people. So that was pretty shitty. And then I've thrown up a few times because it's been really hot and your body is falling apart. You go, "excuse me a second," run to the back of the stage, vomit a little bit and run back on. That was back in the day before I was -- I'm sober now. Me and Andy have not drank in over three years. But you know, back in the day, we were wild. You drank every day, you drank every night and you wake up and your body feels like shit. So of course, in 110-degree weather, you're going to get on stage and five songs in your body's going to go, "Okay, well remember last night? It's coming up now."

Who was the first band you remember being starstruck by or just excited to be spending the summer with on Warped Tour?

Hayley Williams from Paramore. She's like, a vocal Goddess to me. So being on tour with her is amazing. Katy Perry. That was awesome. Katy and I had actually done a couple of gigs in LA together before she was Katy Perry. Like, she was playing acoustic and I was playing acoustic and we'd play shows together two or three times. So it was cool to see her and watch her just blow up on tour. Not jealous at all [laughs]. Who else? Blink-182. Blink-182 was my first rock show. When I was 11 or 12, Bad Religion was opening up for them and I begged my parents "Pleeeeease." So they got me a babysitter to take me. Come on, I was 11. I wasn't gonna go to rock show alone. So they found like an adult supervision-type babysitter and it was me and my brother and my girlfriend. This is my first rock show so I didn't know -- I bought third-row seats and I was like, "Oh my God, we're going to be right up at the stage! I'm going to be able to look at Mark and Tom and it's gonna be fucking awesome." And we get there, we get to our seats and I was like, "Oh, shit. They're like a mile away!" And I was like, "this sucks!" But when "All The Small Things" came on, everybody in the arena -- it was like a stampede -- just rushed the railing and everybody jumped over and I was like, "Bye babysitter!" So we jumped over the railing and ran to the stage. It was like, "Oh my god, this is fucking awesome." So of course, when they were on Warped Tour and I was on Warped Tour I was like, "11-year-old me right now is on tour with Blink-182. What the fuck!?"

Final Words To Warped Tour:

Okay. Do you know how many farewells I've done to the Vans Warped Tour? I can't believe it, this is not goodbye. But okay, if we're pretending that this is goodbye and not like it's going to be back next summer, I owe this tour everything. Kevin, Lisa, Kate, Julie, everybody, all the crew, all the stagehands, all the sound guys, everybody in production, catering, the bands; I grew up on this tour. I went from being a little girl to a woman. It taught me who I was as an artist. It taught me how to have stage presence, it taught me how to sing, it taught me how to write, it taught me how to live, it taught me how to become a really strong woman. I owe this tour that. I am the strong woman I am today because of these people and this tour. So thank you for helping me find myself.

In case all those memories weren’t nostalgic and heartwarming enough – which we’re pretty confident they were – make sure to check out our full photo review of Warped Tour Atlantic City below thanks to Noise contributor Bryan Meyer.

WATCH MORE:

[descentintobandom]

Did No One Hear Her?

Title: Did No One Hear Her? Chapter: One-Shot Pairing: Jaime Preciado/OC Rating: T/M Fic Summary: Kellin’s sister Karisa joins PTV and SWS on tour after her attempted suicide.

Kellin and Karisa walked up the stairs of the tour bus.

“Hey Kel!” Vic greeted, “Oh hey Karisa”.

“Hey Vic”, Kellin said, while Karisa just waved at the rest of PTV.

Kellin and Vic went into the back room to play video games.

Karisa sat on the couch near the front of the bus.

Everyone could tell something was up with Karisa, but none of them wanted to confront her.

Soon, the sun went down and the various members of PTV started going to bed.

Kellin walked over to his sister and kissed the side of her head saying, “Don’t forget to change your bandages. Try to get some sleep, okay? I know you didn’t sleep in the hospital”.

“I’ll stay up with her”, Jaime said, “I can’t sleep on a moving bus anyway”.

“Thanks”, Kellin said and made his way to his own bunk.

Jaime took a seat across from Karisa on the couch.

They sat in silence for a while, until Karisa’s wrists started itching.

She rubbed her wrists in an effort to make them stop.

In the process, Jaime saw the blood soaked bandages. He got up and went into the bedroom to find the first aid kit. He came back and gently took Karisa’s wrists in his hands. He unwrapped the bandages and disposed of them before starting to clean her cuts.

“Thank you”, Karisa said.

“It’s no problem. My mother was a nurse, so she patched me up quite a few times”, Jaime told her.

Karisa gave him a small smile.

“Can…can I ask why you did it?” he asked as he wrapped her wrists with fresh bandages.

“I…I just wanted it to be over. Everything I was feeling…it was just too much to handle. I just wanted them to stop”.

“You wanted who to stop?”

“The voices”, she whispered, “I thought I would be better off dead. Kellin hardly has time for me and I never see him anyway. I’m glad he’s successful and has a wife and daughter, but I just wish he spent more time with me. Like he used to…”

“But Kellin would miss you. Everyone would miss you”.

A look overcame Karisa’s face. “I’m a horrible person”, she cried, hiding her face in her hands.

Jaime wrapped his arms around her and said, “You’re not a horrible person. You’re just a beautiful girl who’s been dealt a shitty hand”.

Karisa sniffled. “You think I’m beautiful?”

“Of course. Hasn’t anyone ever called you beautiful?”

Karisa shook her head. “Not unless they wanted something”.

“If you were gone, you’d never grow up and meet the love of your life and get married”.

“Maybe I’m not meant to do that”.

“Of course you are. You’ll meet someone who will love you and tell you you’re beautiful every day and how lucky he is to have you”.

“Thank you Jaime. Will you hold me until I fall asleep?”

“Of course I will”.

Kellin, who had been listening to whole conversation, felt his heart break. This was all his fault. If he had just been there for her, instead of being wrapped up in his own life, maybe she wouldn’t have tried to take her own life.

Maybe it wasn’t too late for her to get help.

He grabbed his notebook and immediately started writing.

In the morning, Karisa woke up and realized she was lying on Jaime’s chest.

He hadn’t left her after she had fallen asleep.

“Jaime!” she whispered, “Jaime wake up!”

“Wha…?” he groaned. He opened his eyes and saw Karisa lying on top of him. “Oh. Sorry Karisa”, he said and let her up.

��Did you mean what you said last night?” she asked him.

“Of course I did”, he told her. He stood up and said, “I’d like to be that someone. If you’d allow me to be. I’ve always thought you were beautiful, so of course it broke my heart to know that you tried to kill yourself”.

“I didn’t think anyone cared”.

“You never asked any of us”.

“Yeah, but would have any of you actually listened if I had told you?”

That threw Jaime for a loop.

Karisa had clearly been suicidal for a while, but none of them had bothered to notice.

“I…I’m sorry”, Jaime said.

“That’s all I’ve wanted to hear from any of you”, Karisa said.

The two were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Karisa turned away from Jaime when she saw Kellin.

“Hey, how did you sleep?” Kellin asked her.

“Great”, Karisa said, brushing past him to go change.

Even after about a month, things were still tense between Karisa and Jaime.

“Hey guys, so this one is a new one I wrote about a month ago and I’d like to ask a special someone to come out on stage. Please welcome my little sis Karisa!” Kellin said.

Vic gently nudged her out on stage.

Kellin directed her to sit on Gabe’s drum kit as a song started.

“She says she wants to end it all when she's all alone in her room. She cries, the way she feels inside is too much for her. When all you got is these four walls, it's not that hard to feel so small”, Kellin sang.

Panic ran through her veins when Karisa realized that Kellin had heard the whole conversation between her and Jaime.

“She doesn't know she's beautiful. Cause no one's ever told her so and the demons that she hides are all she knows and maybe she can fall in love with someone in her life that she could trust and tell her she's enough. Will someone tell her she's enough?”

Karisa looked over at Jaime, who was standing next to Vic and Tony.

He gave her a small smile.

When Kellin was done, Karisa attacked him with a hug.

“Thank you”, she sniffled.

Kellin took her face in his hands and said, “Listen to me. You are enough”.

Karisa nodded and hugged her brother. She glanced over at Jaime and whispered into Kellin’s ear.

He smiled and pulled back. “Oh Jaime, could you come out here?” Kellin asked.

Jaime came out on stage and walked up to the two siblings.

Karisa stood in front of him, raised up on her tiptoes, and kissed Jaime.

The crowd went wild, along with the rest of Sleeping with Sirens and Pierce the Veil.

[weliketheiroldstuff]

Rockstar Energy Disrupt Festival comes to an end, here's a look at their takeover of Michigan's DTE Energy Music Theatre

Rockstar Energy Disrupt Festival came to an end yesterday after a 6 week cross country inaugural run. It helped fill in a 10 stage hole with dueling stages since June. Disrupt is a stacked lineup that hit ampitheatres across the US and was an absolutely sweaty and humid blast in mid July Michigan. The Michigan lineup was as follows: The Used, Thrice, Sum 41, Circa Survive, Atreyu, Sleeping With Sirens, Four Year Strong, Memphis May Fire, Trophy Eyes, Juliet Simms, and Hyro The Hero. The first six bands and artists played in a side stage in the parking lot.

It was like standing in a fucking frying pan for most of the day. I could definitely be sweating more. But at the moment I'm perched under a tree at DTE trying to stay cool. All I keep thinking about is how a full mid week Siesta should be normal for everyone. I’m lucky enough to have a day job that allows me to have Wednesdays off and here I am at DTE at 2:30 already feeling like I need another shower.

Trophy Eyes are playing as a four piece today and still sounding excellent. The official word came July 16th that Kevin Cross’ last show with the band would be Splendor In The Grass. Kevin will be missed for sure but his departure comes as he is going to start a family and live the adult life and no one can really complain about it. Touring is grueling and brutal and if you don’t want to do it forever, then eventually comes a day where you gotta hang it up. We bid thee adieu Kevin!

After their set I took my sweaty ass to the bsthroom to wipe the sweat out of my face. I ventured closer to the main ampitheatre to pop a squat in some shade next to the waterfall. I forgot how truly hot pavement festivals are and am dreaming of 2.5 hours from now when I can go back to my car. And Hyro the Hero just skated by to go check out soundcheck at the main stage.

Reminds me of the days at Warped when Rick Thorne would ride by or Steve Caballero would skate by and before you can say "Hey Steve!" he would be gone.

Holy shit, $5 for a 20 oz warm water and a cup of ice. Of course they gotta keep the cap of the water. I feel like this dates back to policy from the early Ozzfests here where bands like Limp Bizkit and Sevendust got the rowdy crowds on the hill to chuck sod, dirt, and bottles of whatever down onto the pavillion. It was fun at first until bottles full of dirt were being chucked.

Memphis May Fire have elevated the technicality and strength of sound with a set that packed the parking lot stage and set the bar quite high for the rest of the day. This was my first time seeing them, shooting them, and enjoying their live experience. I get it. They fucking wail. Matty Mullins skillset as a frontman keeps the crowd into it through their entire set.

Four Year Strong is one of the most underrated bands on the face of the planet. Rise or Die Trying is one of the absolute best pop punk or technical punk albums I've ever heard. The boys have never let me down live and today is no fucking different.

Sleeping With Sirens got the biggest crowd in the parking lot and also what seemed to be the hottest set of the day so far. I'm absolutely dripping sweat through the first three songs. It's not the hottest day but it seems like each trek to the photo pit is during a cloud break and pulling the sweat out of me. As this dehydration is happening the dudes in SWS are going fucking off.

“Kick kick kick me when I'm down... errrgggahhhh!”

Those of us in the photo pit are actually matching the energy on stage, it’s fucking chaos. Crowd surfers going off and Kellin Quinn is right in my fucking face and this is one of those moments where the camera drops down for a few seconds and I just scream along with him. Fucking a. And there are photographers and journalists here who don’t know who half these bands are btw, and here’s one screaming all the lyrics to “Do It Now Remember It Later”. In this little section cut out of time I realize how so many people would do so many fucked up things to be in this situation. I can feel an epiphany coming…

I realized after the set that I’m celebrating a few months off the dabs on 710 but it is different because I’m not off concentrates as I wolf down on this fucking cartridge. Although sitting around dabbing myself stupid has stopped and for that I sweat out some toxins and know that today is about releasing a lot of energy and unveiling creativity and perseverance. My throat itches from screaming a ton and shooting more in the crowd and I run into my good younger friend from my day job Nate who is enjoying himself thoroughly as I shoot from the crowd. I’m glad someone from my job has seen me in action and knows I’m not fucking full of shit. I still have “friends” that don’t believe I even do this shit.

My mind is racing in down time awaiting the opening of the main stage. I don’t feel good at all. Mentally my life in this moment is held together by a couple cameras and the promise of free water all day. I have the ability to go back to my car and smoke herb and get in the ac for a few which removed a shit ton of stress as I started to cool off. I think if it was a beautiful day my mind would find it easier to wander and maybe this day would be more painful mentally. Instead it’s physically grueling as temperatures near 95 before the humidity. And you know your boy was in all black too baby!

Atreyu haven't missed a beat since seeing them at the Shelter damn near 20 years ago. It makes sense how these guys are in such good shape as their running all around the stage and not taking any time to stand still. Their chaotic and melodic dueling vocals lead for a broad audience of metalheads who appreciate the rhythmic harmonies these incredible musicians create. And well, Porter McKnight is one of the wildest bass players in all of music with energy that really can’t be matched by many. If him and Steve from Every Time I Die had a bass-off our faces would melt. Atreyu bring the heavy and give us a show unlike any other on the lineup with guitar solos that shred and double bass rhythms to make your fucking chest cave in, this is what summer festivals are about my friends.

Circa Survive is a band that connects me to friends no longer on this planet. So to be able to photograph them for the 3rd time since Dec 2017 is an absolute privilege. Act Appalled into (2nd song) into Child of the Desert ending in absolute chaos and catharsis.

Releasing negative energy is what I associate with Circa Survive. Forever will they be a band of existential wonder that repairs the connections between loose and broken heart strings in my chest. It does not get better than this band or this music. I would be flat out lying if I said I wasn’t happy with sweating right now as it’s blending in with the crying. I’m literally soaking my fucking camera as I shoot this shit. And like that, I’m walking back up the steps. I left a massive part of me in that photo pit. I left it there to fade into the pavement and never be a part of me again. So much negativity gone. So much fucking animosity, gone. So much just fucking gone. To Circa Survive, thank you.

Now that I let go of a ton of emotional shit while my past partner of 7 years was sitting 25-30 rows behind me, sending me photos of me shooting and I’m realizing we’re both where we need to be. Apart. My back to her and her watching me from afar. In this moment I realize this is the absolute end of the line and we are both free to live the way we really want to. Now for gratitude… I adore the two women who help run media for 313 Presents. I feel for both of them as they have to sit out all day with us and suffer in this fucking humidity. Holy shit, how dare I say I’m moist as fuck, I hope that makes you feel weird. I am missing the breeze while waiting for Sum 41. The sweating continues. Don't give up your dreams of free ice water kids the ladies at the Arbor bar will hook you up. And for that I tipped her 5 bucks (and now know it should’ve been 10) and will be getting another after Sum 41 as proper hydration should always be important when festing.

Sum 41 is another band that I’m shooting for the third time today, others include Thrice, Circa Survive, and Four Year Strong. I know the level of showmanship is about to be through the roof. I should just ask a security guard for a water but I’m not about it at the moment as it seems they’re about to come out on stage.

This is the third time I’m photographing Thrice. Thrice times I’ve shot Thrice. This is weird. I’m high. I’m stinky. I’m soaked in sweat. All I keep thinking about is can I get a fucking towel before I shoot another fucking outdoor show this summer? Like a white towel that rappers would have on stage with em during this shit? I’m sure I’ll forget it like I consistently forget the bugspray and sun tan lotion and end up frying like an egg in a parking lot frying pan baby!

Thrice is using more smoke than I wish they were. Sure, some of the photos look super dreamy and artsy and that’s great but it creates so much noise and it seems like now the last three shows I’ve shot, the guys and gals running the fog machines have been a tad on the trigger happy side. Regardless, I’m able to hit the vape pen because of it, and elevate myself while watching one of the best bands of the last 20 years go the fuck off. Thrice could easily be headlining this show but more than anything I hope they made a ton of fans at this tour because outdoor ampitheatres are where they belong. Their sound is so fucking big it just feels right on huge stages with massive production. The more ethereal and moodier they go the bigger the stages would fit. Even the older music like “Under a Killing Moon” and “The Artist In The Ambulance” vibe so hard on these huge stages. Fuck I wish they would’ve played “Silhouette” that fucking song rips so fucking hard and Riley’s fucking drums are so fucking good live regardless of what they play, but man that first snare hit. BOP!!!

The Used and I have history. I dated a girl when I was about 19 from north of Detroit. She was something else, and so were her friends. One of which became my connection to this band. I won’t go into further detail as I don’t know everyone’s personal histories on the road and shit, I just know the shit I was told led me to understand we walked very similar paths of chaos and chemicals. I’ve been bonded to them for so long, it makes perfect sense that I would finally shoot them the first time I get to see them. Yeah even with that connection I never tried to go see them through those other people. It was something I almost avoided for a while too. I’m so fucking happy I waited as they are in such better shape mentally, physically, and overall health wise. This leads to what becomes such an unforgettable performance. They used the entire stage to rip through “Take It Away” then “The Bird And The Worm” and then “Listening” before I was making my last trek up the staircase to head back to my car and make the hour+ drive home.

The drive was almost as cathartic as the whole fucking day. The freeway was closed only a few miles down the road from the venue and I ended up taking Telegraph for an hour and a half back home. A nice doob cruise that helped me cap off a day of release, new experiences, meeting new people, and saying goodbye to old relationships. I could’ve gotten this post done in time to be relevant for marketing but once I got home I knew it was time for a break…

My personal life had done a 180 degree turn since early June and I had been dragging my knuckles on moving forward completely. I’m no longer with my cats. No longer at my condo. No longer with this person I’ve been with for almost seven years. It was massively important to me to make the time away from this, my time I took away from my day job, and being away from everything the reason I could go on much further. I thought a few days might do it. That turned into a week. And then two weeks. Then I woke up this morning the last day of Disrupt and felt like I could let go of it all. This is one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. I could stop doing this. Put all my energy into being that guy the other person wants and try to get them back. I’ve done it before, and it literally led me back to the same exact conclusion. On my own.

2 years ago I started really pushing live photography. I started brainstorming about what the next website/blog/media outlet would be as at the time I was doing one called Shrbrt, which was just my own personal branded website. I knew I wanted to work with other contributors. I knew I wanted it to be snarky but also counter-snarky in title. I knew that it had to be nostalgic. I knew I had to not give a fuck. A few months later ILIKETHEIROLDSTUFF was born. Now, we’re ready to take it to the next level. A level that would never get encroached on if my personal life stayed in the shambles it was in. I can breathe again. I feel like my inspiration is coming back. I feel like my muse is now myself and not someone else. I feel like as much as I left at Disrupt on the floor of that photo pit, I took away so much new shit. So much new information. So much new intel on myself and who I want to be. See when people get shitty about music festivals and say “How could it change your life?” those fucking people don’t have a clue about the power of music. They don’t love it like we do. That’s what festivals are for. For people like that to have their mind open. I hope plenty understand how dope this shit can really be and how truly we are all spoiled musically to have so many choices and genres and artists and bands who want to create. Not just for us but for the sake of creating.

Disrupt your fucking life. Disrupt your way of thinking. Disrupt what you’re supposed to do. Disrupt the status quo.

Thanks for reading. Check out the multiple galleries below and give us a follow on our socials too! Here’s to next year!

PARKING LOT STAGE

AMPITHEATRE STAGE

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[call-me-rei]

Chapter 20

Ok, I'm SO SORRY that I haven't updated in over 3 months and that I'm complete trash. That seems to be the theme of my life (I promised my 1st grade friend that I would come to her birthday party in her class but I was late and by the time I made it down there it was time to go) but here I am, updating it 5:55 AM. Ple love me again but I promise I still love you. Also, can we talk about how much we love the new SWS record? Let's do that!

Anyway, here's this. Much love!

-----

"You want me here? Well then ask me to stay."

---

My breath caught in my throat as I stared at his face ever so slowly inching closer to mine. I'm not even sure I blinked.

"W-wh-what....are you....doing?" I stuttered, nerves apparent.

All Vic did was chuckle. He stared in my eyes as he tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear. "That was bothering me so much."

I finally blinked when everything registered. Vic didn't try to kiss me. Vic wasn't thinking about kissing me. I made the whole thing up in my head because of my dumb attraction for him. I'm an idiot.

"You okay, Kells?" he asked. I nodded sheepishly. "I'll go get you some water." I nodded again.

I breathed out a deep sigh once I couldn't see his frame in my line of sight. What was this boy doing to me? When did this crush get to this point? It felt like just yesterday I was annoyed by his mere presence. Now I was left breathless because I thought he was gonna kiss me?

Get a grip, Kellin.

I put my head in my hands and took some deep breaths. My heart was still racing, but somehow I managed to get it under control by the time Vic walked back in.

"You okay, Quinn?"

I looked up at him and nodded. He looked at me quizzically and handed me a bottle of water. "Thanks," I mumbled. I gulped the liquid until I had drunk about two thirds.

"Wow," Vic said. I looked at him. He blushed and shook his head. I couldn't help but smirk at him. "Should we get back to work?" he asked. I nodded.

"Let's do it."

***

Two hours had passed before we decided to take a break. Turns out we had so many ideas that we couldn't stop putting them together. Vic was a great songwriter; he seemed to just write about what was on his mind, yet it all came out so poetically. He was also an amazing guitar player, which I would've never believed since he told me that he can't read music. Melodies just seemed to come from the tunes he was humming and go to his fingers that played them on the strings. It was almost hypnotizing to watch.

I was so caught up in my Vic trance that I hadn't contributed much aside from writing lyrics. I wasn't very upset about it, considering that I love writing lyrics. There's something about putting pen to paper and spilling all the thoughts in your brain on a single page. It's like therapy.

"Hey," Vic called to me. I looked up from my book. "You wanna stay for dinner?" he asked. "It's getting late and my mom's about to start cooking. I can tell her to set an extra place, you know, if you want."

I suppressed the smile that wanted to peek through at his kindness and nodded. "Yeah, that sounds good."

"Cool." He stood up. "I'll be right back." I nodded again and watched as he walked out of the room. With a sigh, I fell back onto Vic's bed and massaged my wrist. I hadn't realized how much writing I'd done until I wasn't writing anymore.

I started to relax into the memory foam mattress as I stared up at the ceiling. It had gotten late, but I didn't need to call home. Mom was working double so she'd be home after midnight, even if she went to work early in the morning. The hospital really needed to do something about these schedules.

"Hey, Vic, can you-" I sat up at the sound of a voice I wasn't too familiar with. "Oh, it's you."

"Yup, I'm me." Mike gave me a funny smirk.

"Where's my brother?"

"He went downstairs to tell your mom I'm staying for dinner."

Mike nodded. "Cool." I nodded back. "So, you guys have been in here the whole time?"

"Yeah...," I said hesitantly. "Why?"

"No reason, just figured you two would've gotten tired of each other way before now." He chuckled. I was going to ask him to explain himself, but he beat me to it. "I remember the first time you came over to work on this project. I could hear you two arguing from downstairs."

I half-cringed, half-chuckled. Flashbacks of that day came to me. I had run out of the house because I thought that Vic knew I was gay.

Not my proudest moment.

"Anyway, I'm glad you guys are finally getting along." I smiled at Mike, a real, genuine smile. Believe it or not, I was also glad Vic and I were getting along. It was refreshing to see a softer side to him.

"What are you guys talking about?" Mike and my eyes shifted to the door where Vic had just begun to walk through.

"Just telling Kellin that you're lucky to be his friend."

Vic looked at his brother quizzically. "That doesn't make any sense."

"You're right, I should be telling you that." Mike shot me a quick wink before turning back to Vic. "Bro, you're lucky Kellin is your friend."

Vic rolled his eyes. "Get out of my room, you giraffe." I suppressed the laugh that so desperately wanted to get out at Vic's comment.

"Yeah, yeah, Quinn, laugh it up," Mike mumbled as he walked out.

"Anyway," Vic started as he made his way back to his desk, "Mom said dinner will be ready in about half an hour." I nodded.

"So, do you wanna keep working in the meantime or what?" I asked.

"Actually, I'd like to finish our conversation from earlier."

I cocked a questioning eyebrow. Vic raised his in response and the events from earlier flooded my mind.

"Oh."

"Is it awkward? I don't mean for it to be, I'm just curious."

"Awkward isn't the word I'd use."

"Then what word?"

I thought about it. "Uncomfortable, I guess."

Vic nodded. "Sure, I get it. Let's go back to the song. You might wanna leave after dinner so let's do what we can before then."

I smiled. "Thanks." Vic nodded. He picked his guitar up and strummed the strings.

"Alright, what do you think about..."

***

Dinner with Vic, Mike, and their mom was great. Not only was the food amazing, but the company wasn't too bad either. Vic and Mike were cracking jokes at the other's expense; their mom and I would just laugh at them silently as we talked. She asked about my family, what my parents did, if I had any siblings. She was a nice lady to talk to.

When we'd finished eating, I went back to Vic's room to collect my things. Since he drove me to his house, he offered to drive me back to mine. He was waiting in the car, so I took my time to make sure I wasn't leaving anything behind. Plus, I had a song in my head that pretty much distracted me from focusing in the first place. I found myself softly singing rather than making sure I was ready to go.

Once my things were packed up and I triple checked the room to make sure I had everything, I headed downstairs.

"It was nice to have dinner with you, Kellin," Vic's mom said.

I smiled warmly at her. "Thanks for letting me stay."

"Of course, anytime. Be safe getting home." She gave me a quick hug and opened the door for me. I thanked her again before walking out the door to Vic's car.

"Finally," he said when I opened the door.

"Shut up," I responded while I put my bag in the backseat.

I heard him chuckle from the front as I closed the back door and sat in my seat.

The ride to my house was almost deafeningly silent, but somehow not awkward. It was as if Vic didn't want to say anything and I was okay with it. The silence was starting to hurt my ears after a while, and I was starting to get bored. I stole glances at the guy next to me to see if I could tell what he was thinking. When I couldn't break through his poker face, I gave up and stared out the window. That pesky song that was in my head a few minutes ago had resurfaced.

I watched the streetlights pass us by as I continued to sing the song from earlier. About a minute passed from when I started that I heard a tapping sound. I fixed my sight on the direction I assumed the noise was coming from. Sure enough, Vic was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

Was he tapping along to my singing? Did he have his own song in his head? How would I be able to answer any of these questions?

I shook the thought from my head, not wanting to do anything to make this ride awkward. I went back to staring out the window and quietly singing. Before I knew it, Vic was pulling into my driveway.

"Thanks for the ride," I said with my hand on the handle.

"Wait." I stared at him in surprise. "That song you were singing...," he hesitated.

"Yeah?"

"You, uh, you...you can sing." I pondered if I should take offense to that. On the surface it sounded like a compliment, but he also sounded skeptical and surprised.

"Thanks?"

"I'm serious," he said with more confidence, "you have a really nice voice." I blushed at his compliment.

"Thank you," I said timidly.

"Maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing if you sang for our song." I smiled. "And maybe I was wrong for saying the shit I said."

"Wow, that almost sounded like an apology."

He rolled his eyes. "Alright, you were too cocky. Get out the car, Quinn."

I chuckled as a I opened the door. "Fine, but you can't take this away from me." Vic chuckled back while I took my bag from the backseat.

"Whatever KQ, have a good night."

"You too." I closed the door and walked up the steps of my porch to the front door. I looked back to see Vic still sitting in the car. I guess I assumed he'd drive away once I walked away.

I gave him a slightly awkward smile and a small wave that he returned. I took my keys from my pocket and unlocked the door.

I looked back again to see if he'd left. To my surprise he hadn't. I was about to text him and ask why he was being so weird before something caught my attention.

I swear I saw Vic bite his lip. I swear I saw a longing look in his eyes. I swear I saw him sigh before he looked to the front and drove away.

[call-me-rei]

Chapter 15

“A thought of what could be disintegrates and gets the best of me.”

---

We arrived at my house with about five minutes to spare before the locksmith arrived. I ushered Vic inside and took off my shoes. Vic noticed and did the same before he spoke.

“So, what now?”

“What now?” I asked. “Well, you did say you wanted to work on the project so maybe that?”

He rolled his eyes and stepped farther into the house. I watched him as he made his way to the living room and sat on the couch.

“Yes, make yourself at home,” I said sarcastically.

“Relax Quinn, you did the same thing at my place.”

“No I didn’t,” I defended.

“Yeah you did,” he shot back.

“No.”

“Okay yeah, maybe not.”

I rolled my eyes and sat next to him. “You’re an idiot,” I said out loud. I hadn’t realized I’d said it out loud until I saw the look on his face.

He didn’t look like he was going to kill me, or even punch me in the arm. No, he looked amused.

“I’m an idiot, huh?”

“Just a little bit,” I answered.

“Takes one to know one.”

“Wow!” I exclaimed. “Wow, that was so fucking lame!”

“Now I’m lame and an idiot? You really know how to kick a man when he’s down.” I just shrugged and started taking my books out of my bag.

“So what’s our game plan?” I asked. “Because we still have no idea what this song’s gonna be about.”

“There are lots of things we could write it about: love, tragedy, secret desires-“

“Secret desires?” I asked.

“Yeah. I’m just saying we could write this song about anything as long as it fits in the era we picked.”

“But why secret desires?” I asked.

He shrugged. “We could be fucking nationalists since that was big back then.”

“I don’t have that much pride in my country of origin.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think so,” he said.

“What the hell does tha-“

I was cut off by the sound of the doorbell ringing. I got up and opened the door to reveal a man. He looked to be in his mid-forties with brown hair and tired brown eyes.

“Can I help you?” I asked him.

“Locksmith,” was all he said.

I nodded. “Yeah, my mom said you were coming.” He grunted a little and took a look at the door.

“Your mom said she wanted the full package, doors and windows, is that correct?”

I had no conceivable idea. That was not one of the things we had discussed.

“Maybe?” I asked nervously. I could tell he was displeased.

“Well I have a receipt that says-“

“Then yes,” I said, cutting him off.

He nodded. “Well since I’m replacing all entrances to the house it’s imperative that no one leave the premises. You won’t have a way to come back in since I’m changing every lock and you don’t have a new key. Do you understand?”

“Sir, yes sir,” I said. He rolled his eyes and nodded, not saying another word. I closed the door as he walked to his truck, figuring that he was about to start working.

“‘Sir, yes sir?’” Vic asked from behind me. I turned to see another amused smirk on his face that I couldn’t help but return.

“I was bored. He was saying shit that wasn’t important and using big words.”

“So you decided to be a little shit?”

I shrugged. “Gotta pass the time somehow.”

“Wow,” he said. His tone was stern but the look on his face was anything but. I had to resist the urge to laugh at him, so I took out my songbook and flipped to a blank page.

“You know, we really need to start writing something for this thing,” I stated.

He nodded. “I was thinking the same thing. Where do you think we should start?”

I thought about it. “Well we need a theme so…” I wrote three different words on a piece of scratch paper and torn the words apart into three pieces. I crumpled each of the pieces up and laid them on the coffee table in front of us.

Vic looked at me with a lifted eyebrow. “Pick one,” was all I said as a gestured to the balls of paper.

He looked at them for a moment and bit his lip.

“This is stupid,” he said.

I rolled my eyes. “It’s not stupid if you just do it. It’s picking a piece of paper; just do it.”

“Fine,” he groaned. He closed his eyes and reached out for one of the random balls. His hand went flailing about before he finally grasped one.

He opened his eyes to see my grinning face.

“Okay…weird.”

“Shut up and open it,” I scolded. He stuck his tongue out at me before smoothing out the paper.

“‘Both’?” He read. “What the hell does that mean?”

I picked up the two pieces he didn’t choose and smoothed them out, revealing the words “love” and “loss”.

“Okay…?” He asked, obviously still confused. I’d have to spell it out for him.

“Rather than us just doing a song about love or loss, we’re gonna do one about both.”

“Isn’t that a modern love song though?”

“Shut up, it’s a good idea,” I replied quickly.

Vic chuckled. “Sure Quinn, whatever you say.”

We spent the next half hour trying to think of any lyrics we could. Unfortunately, we had only come up with a couple lines each. I didn’t want to use any lyrics that I had already written, and neither did Vic, so we were forced to come up with new ones. It got so exhausting to the point where we stepped away from our notebooks just so we wouldn’t rip the pages out in anger.

“We should do something,” Vic said.

“Something like what? We can’t leave the house.” The locksmith was almost done changing the locks on the first floor, but he still had the windows of the second floor to work on.

“Right. Well, what’s there to do here?”

I shrugged. I wasn’t in the mood for watching movies or playing video games.

“I’ve got it!” Vic exclaimed. “Let’s play truth or dare!”

“Truth or dare? What are you, twelve?”

“Shut up, Quinn,” he shot, “this could be fun. What do you say?”

I chewed on my lip in thought. “Fine,” I sighed, “I’ll be twelve with you.”

He rolled his eyes with a smile on his face. It was kind of cute.

There you go again, Kellin.

I shook off the thought and sat cross-legged on the couch facing Vic. “Who’s going first?” I asked.

“Well it’s your house.”

“But you’re the guest, and the one who suggested the game.”

He hummed. “How about I ask first?” I nodded. “Okay, Quinn, truth or dare?”

“Truth,” I replied without hesitation.

“Oh, it’s gonna be one of those games, isn’t it?”

“Shut up and ask me my question.”

He put his hands up and chuckled. “Fine. Why do you have such an attitude?”

“Towards you or in general?”

“Both.”

I hummed as I thought of my answer. “I’ve always been a little shit. My mom says I used it as a defense mechanism when my dad left when I was younger, but now that I’m older and understand more things I just have a general attitude. I have one towards you because you’re a jerk.”

“Hey, hurtful!”

“Oops, did I say that out loud?” I asked, feigning innocence.

“Whatever,” he mumbled. “Your turn.”

“Truth or dare?” I asked.

“Truth.”

“Wow, really?” I asked with a cocky smile.

“Shut up and ask your question.”

“Got any tattoos?”

He shook his head. I looked at him with a cocked eyebrow, to which he chuckled. “Seriously, not one.”

“That’s weird.” Everyone Vic hung out with had tattoos, even his brother. Hell, I even had a couple that Mom was okay with me getting. “Why not?” I asked.

He shrugged. “I just don’t like needles.”

“But you have a nose piercing,” I pointed out.

“Yeah but that was quick. I wasn’t sitting in that chair for hours as a needle poked me repeatedly.”

“Eh, I guess.” I didn’t want to admit that my tattoos hurt, but hey, the pain was worth it.

“Anyway, it’s my turn,” he said. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” I said, wanting to spice it up.

“You’ve got any marshmallows?” Vic asked.

I nodded and jumped up, heading to the kitchen. I took an unopened bag of marshmallows out of the cabinet and went back to my spot on the couch.

“What are these for?” I wondered.

“I dare you to put one marshmallow in your mouth each round. You can’t eat it, just leave it in there. We’ll see how many you can keep in there.”

I rolled my eyes at the sexual connotation of his response but opened the bag regardless. I took the first marshmallow out and slid it into my mouth. “This won’t be too bad,” I said. I wasn’t anticipating many rounds.

“Whatever you say.”

“Truth or dare, Vic?” I asked while I rolled my eyes.

He smirked. “Truth, Quinn.”

“How many girls have you slept with?” It probably wasn’t the most appropriate question, but it was a question that had be weighing on my mind since Lynn told me about him. However, his answer caught me off guard.

“Zero,” he replied.

“No way,” I said in disbelief. I couldn’t believe that the Vic Fuentes was a virgin

“Way,” he said with a comfortable smile. He had so much confidence, acting as if this question didn’t faze him at all.

“Why not?” I asked.

“Nope, you had your turn,” he scolded. “For that, penalty marshmallow.”

“What? That’s not fair!”

“Hey man, I don’t make the rules.”

“Sounds like you did,” I mumbled, but put another marshmallow in my mouth. There were only two so I wasn’t too upset.

“Truth or dare?” he asked.”

“Truth,” I answered.

“Favorite band?”

“Either Copeland or Sublime. I can’t decide.” He nodded. “Cool, it’s my turn. Why haven’t you slept with any girls?” I said quickly.

“Hey,” he laughed, “you didn’t ask me the question.”

“Because I don’t care. Answer this question.”

He rolled his eyes. “If you must know, I just haven’t found someone I feel that connection with. I want to have sex with someone who has my heart, and I haven’t found that person yet.”

Out of all the answers he could’ve given, that was one I was never expecting. I saw him in a new light after that. Not sure what light, but he didn’t seem like as much of a jerk.

“Hey, you didn’t take your marshmallow. That’s a penalty in addition to the marshmallow you missed.”

I spoke too soon, Vic was a jerk.

I glared at him as I took two marshmallows and slid them in my mouth. All he did was grin.

“Sorry Quinn, rules are rules.” I flipped him off. “Hey, don’t make me give you another penalty.”

“Do it, I dare you,” I tested.

“Oh, you’re gonna regret that,” he spoke sinisterly. He reached into the bag of marshmallows and held one up to my mouth. I pressed my lips together as tight as I could, knowing that he was going to try to force the soft treat in my mouth.

I scooted further back on the couch, but Vic wasn’t going to let me go that easily. He crawled toward me with each movement I took back. Within seconds I was leaning against the armrest with nowhere to go.

He smirked. “Open up, Quinn.”

I shook my head violently. Instead I perched on the armrest, thinking of my next move. I couldn’t run to my room; Vic was faster than me. I could try to catch him off guard and hide. Or maybe I could lock myself in the bathroom. Either way, I needed his attention to be off me.

We held each other’s gaze as I thought up the perfect plan. When I finally gained enough confidence, I put that plan in action.

I slowly slid off the armrest and scooted closer to Vic. He looked taken aback as he scooted backwards, his eyes never leaving mine. When I decided he was distracted enough, I quickly placed my hands on his chest and shoved him back.

Unfortunately for me, he saw that coming.

With his free hand he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to his chest. I struggled against him, and in the blink of an eye we ended up on the floor. I groaned and opened my eyes that I wasn’t aware I closed. I looked down to see Vic with his eyes squeezed shut.

“Vic are you okay?” I asked frantically.

He opened his eyes slowly and stared at me. it’s important to mention that our horseplay caused us to land on top of each other. Actually, with me on top of Vic’s chest. But that didn’t matter as I looked down at him, hoping that he hadn’t hit his head too hard.

“Are you okay?” I asked again when he didn’t answer.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he groaned. He wiped his face down with his hand and placed it on the small of my back. “You okay?”

I nodded. “I’m fine. You kinda broke my fall.”

He chuckled. “Yeah well, that’s what I’m here for.” He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. His finger started drawing shapes on my back.

“You sure you’re okay?” I asked.

“Mhm,” he hummed. I continued to look down at him, not sure if I should believe him or not. “Hey Quinn?”

“Yeah?”

“What happened to the marshmallows?”

I furrowed an eyebrow as I remembered the four marshmallows I had in my mouth and the one Vic had in his hand before the fall. I looked around the room to see three of them on the floor and two on the couch.

“Oh well,” I said, “I’ll clean them up later.” I put my head on Vic’s chest and closed my eyes.

“Quinn?”

“Shut up, you’re warm and comfy, and you talking is ruining the moment.” Was there a “moment”? Who knows. Honestly, I didn’t want to think about what I was feeling at that moment, so I didn’t. Instead I thought about the warmth radiating for Vic’s chest and the fact that his finger moving around my back was the most soothing thing I’d ever experienced.

We stayed silent for about ten minutes, our eyes closed and our breathing slow. If it wasn’t for Vic’s finger moving back and forth on my back I would’ve assumed he’d fallen asleep. I could tell he was getting close to that point since his movements were getting slower. I was getting close to that point as well.

That was until there was a loud knock on the door that startled both of us.

“What the fuck?” Vic asked.

I slowly got off of him and went to the door.

“Yes?” I asked rather rudely. Did I care? No. This person had taken me away from a potential nap; I had every right to be cranky.

“Every lock has been replaced. Here are your new set of keys.”

I took the keys from the locksmith and took the check Mom had written and signed beforehand out of my wallet.

“Thanks,” I mumbled. He grunted in response and walked down the driveway to his truck. “What a guy,” I mumbled sarcastically as I closed the front door.

“Yeah, I guess.” I turned to see Vic stuffing his books back into his backpack.

“You’re leaving?”

“Yeah, I’ve gotta get home and make sure Mike didn’t destroy my car. Plus, I told my mom I’d be home by dinner.”

“Oh,” I said as I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly. I watched as he zipped up his bag and walked over to me.

“This wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” he said with a sly smile that I returned.

“Yeah, I didn’t hate it either.”

“Good.”

“Do you need a ride?” I asked quickly as I fished my keys out of my pocket.

“No, Jaime’s outside already.”

“Oh.” I didn’t say anything more as I watched him open the front door.

“I did have a good time, for real. Next time we hang out we’re gonna have to do some homework though.”

“Bullshit but okay,” I said with a smirk.

He smiled. “Whatever.”

“Goodnight Vic.”

“See you later, Kellin.” He waved and walked to the car idled on the street. I watched as he entered the car and Jaime drove off before I closed the front door.

I realized two things as I slid down the door onto the floor to gather my thoughts about tonight.

One, Vic had called me by my first name for the very first time. He had never called me Kellin for the length of time we’d known each other.

Two, that moment we had on the floor was a moment. And although I wanted to deny it, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t.

I wanted more of those moments, and I wanted them with him.

---

Lol this chapter was so gay I love it

Also 14 & 15 ended up being 15 pages

Sorry the ending kinda sucks. It’s 3AM

Love you, bye!

[call-me-rei]

Chapter 5

One week.

Two weeks.

A month.

A whole month. That’s how long it had been since I talked to Kellin. We had three whole days of a conversation before it stopped. Just like that. We were talking late at night about James Patterson books when he stopped responding. Granted, it was almost 5:00 in the morning in Michigan so I figured he had gone to bed.

But he didn’t respond the next morning.

Or the morning after that.

Then weeks went by and I didn’t hear from him anymore. He had read the last message I sent, but he didn’t say anything back. Was he okay? Did he want to talk to me still?

Well, I think I knew the answer to the last question.

To say I was crushed was an understatement. I just didn’t understand why he ghosted me. Was I that boring?

“Okay, we’re done here.” I focused my attention to my brother who was now standing over me with his arms crossed.

“What?” I asked, confused.

“You’ve been huffing and sighing this whole time. You’re not even paying attention.” Mike and I were in our backyard kicking a soccer ball back and forth. He had suggested that he help me practice my fundamentals for a game we were having next week. I agreed, but I guess I had been a little distracted.

“Seriously, what’s wrong?”

I shook my head. “Nothing.”

“Wow,” he deadpanned, “you’re really gonna lie to your brother like I don’t know you?”

I sighed and sat on the grass. Mike followed suit. “Am I boring?” I asked him.

He pursed his lips. “No, at least, I don’t think so.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, you’re not as cool as me, but you’re not boring.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m serious, Mike.”

He chuckled. “Okay, okay. Sorry. Why do you ask?”

I placed my elbow on my knee and held my chin. I hadn’t told anyone about the pen pal thing because I didn’t want them to make fun of me, but I guess since it was over it didn’t matter anymore.

“I thought I made a friend online and now it’s been a month since we talked. He ghosted me. Big time.”

“Maybe he’s a catfish?”

I scrunched my eyebrows. That hadn’t occurred to me. “You think?”

He shrugged. “Maybe. You see it all the time on the show. You talk to someone and then they get your money and ghost you, so you call Nev and Max and travel and-”

“Okay,” I stopped him. He was starting to get a little too excited. I looked at him sternly while he calmed down in an attempt to keep him from freaking out. I spoke again once he regained composure. “I never sent him money though.”

He hummed in thought. “Okay, tell me how this all happened.”

I told him about the Facebook page and the pen pals since that was the gist of what happened. I also told him about the conversations Kellin and I had had leading up to him ghosting me. I needed to know what my brother thought; if he thought I was too boring for Kellin to want to talk to.

“Honestly, I think this happened the way it always does.” I raised an eyebrow so he continued. “You make an internet friend and then you drift apart. It happens all the time since you’re not in the same place. You’re kinda lucky: some people don’t get to talk to their internet friends for as long as you did. It’s usually like a day or two, a week max.”

“Yeah,” I sighed. I didn’t feel lucky. I picked at a blade of grass by my toe.

“I’m sorry, Vic,” Mike said softly. I guess he saw my mood go down.

“It’s not your fault. I just thought I’d be able to make a new friend and get out of this rut. I guess that means I’m better at making friends in person?”

“No, it means this dude doesn’t see how awesome my brother is.” I smiled. “C’mon, let’s not worry about him anymore. You have a game to practice for.”

I nodded as I stood and dusted the seat of my pants. Leave it to Mike to cheer me up without knowing it. I guess having him around wasn’t so bad.

***

Another week went by as normal. Mike and I went to school, talked about random things, and hung out with our friends. I tried to put Kellin out of my mind, and I was able to for the most part. It helped that I had friends to distract me and a busy schedule.

I ended up telling Curtis about Kellin. Since he was like a brother to me it only seemed fair. He gave me some general advice but didn’t judge me like I thought my friends would. Maybe I should stop assuming that my friends think I’m a dork.

I still wouldn’t tell Tony or Jaime though. I don’t think I would ever live that down.

It was Friday afternoon, and we were in the last class of the day. For me, that meant I was in English. We were discussing a book we were assigned to read the class before. It was obvious not many people read it since it seemed like the same five people were actively discussing, me being one of them. I only stopped when our teacher said other people in class should participate or they’d have their participation grade lowered.

While the other kids talked, I started writing in my notebook. I was an aspiring songwriter. I had all of these ideas in my head that I would put melodies to, but I didn’t have anyone to play my music. Maybe I should play it myself…

I left my train of thought when I heard my teacher tell us to start getting ready to be dismissed. I stuffed my things into my backpack that was rested at the side of my desk. As soon as the bell rang, I darted out of my seat and out of the classroom.

With a soccer game tomorrow afternoon, I wanted to get home and rest up. Plus, getting out of school was just a necessity.

I caught up with Mike, Jaime, and Tony in the hall by my locker. “Is everything okay?” I asked skeptically. Usually only Mike waited for me after school, so seeing Hime and Tone with him had my anxiety rising.

“Are you being catfished?” Jaime asked. I shot a look at my brother who shrugged.

“I thought you’d like other opinions. Sue me.”

Suing Mike wasn’t what I was thinking of doing. The look on his face told me that he knew that.

“I really don’t wanna talk about this,” I mumbled. I refused to make eye contact with any of them out of anger towards Mike and perpetual embarrassment from Jaime and Tony.

“Oh, c’mon Vic, we’re not gonna judge you,” Tony said. “I won’t at least. Can’t really speak for Jaime.”

“Hey! I’m a good friend!” Jaime exclaimed. I picked my head up to laugh at that little outburst.

“Fine,” I said with a sigh, “but we’re not talking about it here. Wanna go to the park and hit up a food truck?”

“Hell yes!” Mike yelled. Mention food and you wouldn’t have to convince my brother to do anything. His reaction did catch the attention of some other students and faculty walking down the hall. Some shot him glares or confused looks, but he obviously didn’t care.

Jaime chuckled and put his arm around my brother. “C’mon dude, let’s get you some food.” The two of them walked ahead of Tony and me toward the entrance to the school. Tone and I glanced at each other before bursting out in laughter as we followed them out.

***

I laid across the bench attached to the picnic table we were all sitting at. We had eaten our food and started discussing Kellin afterwards. It had started to get a bit overwhelming, so I needed to take a break.

“Be honest, am I boring?”

I felt three pairs of eyes gaze down to me after I asked the question that had weighed on my mind for days.

“Do you really want our honest opinion?” I rolled my eyes upward to focus on Jaime who was sitting next to me.

“Yeah, that’s why I asked…”

“Well,” he started. I immediately felt my heartbeat pick up as he paused. “No, I don’t think you’re boring.” I breathed out in relief.

“Seriously?” I asked.

“Yeah. I know we kinda told you you were when we said you should do something different, but you’re really not boring.

“I think you’re guarded with what you do and who you do it with. You don’t like to step out of your comfort zone, which is fine, but you can’t live in that box forever.”

“I know,” I mumbled.

“Don’t feel bad, Vic,” Tony said, “we love you no matter how you are. And if some rando on the internet made you feel like you’re less than awesome then good riddance!”

I smiled and sat up, feeling the blood rush from my head. “Thanks, Tone. I needed that.”

“Hey, I basically said the same thing the other day,” Mike defended.

“Yeah, but you’re my brother. You have to say nice things to me or else I’ll tell Mom.”

“You sound like a baby,” he said after a dramatic eye roll.

I chuckled. Ignoring that last comment, I was feeling pretty good about myself. My friends were right: if Kellin didn’t see how awesome I was then I didn’t need him. It sucked that I would miss out on having a new friend, but who needs a friend who doesn’t communicate? It wasn’t worth the effort.

We went home shortly after that talk. Mike went to his room and I went to mine. I flipped on my bed and scrolled through my social media until I figured it was time to shower and go to sleep.

I hadn’t realized it, but I had spent a few hours without Kellin on my mind. For the first time in weeks, he wasn’t my go-to thought. Maybe that was a step toward recovery, or whatever I needed it to be. I just knew I didn’t need to be thinking about him as much as I had been. Maybe hanging out with my friends was just what I needed.

I turned out my light after I put my phone on my charger. I was ready for a peaceful night’s sleep and a calming morning that would follow.

Little did I know that the next day would be anything but calm.

[call-me-rei]

Chapter 10

***I’m a bad updater and I’M SO SORRY! But anyway, here’s a thing. Love me pls***

“Tell me pretty lies; look me in the face.”

---

I sat on the ledge in front of the window in the attic. It was well past midnight and I was home alone. Mom was trying to get moved to the night shift at the hospital so they were transitioning her tonight. Rick had called at 8:30 saying he would be home late. That was five hours ago.

As for me, I was stressing out over auditions. I had yet to decide if I was going to sing the song I debuted to my friends. There were just too many bad memories associated with those lyrics; memories that I’d rather forget.

I looked down at my lap which had my hands in it. I ran a finger down the length of my left wrist. The motion tickled, but I wasn’t focused on that. I was picturing the red that I’d see too many times before. It was flowing down my wrist like a steady stream with no end in sight. It went from the base of my hand to my elbow. Slowly, smoothly.

I shook my head to get rid of those thoughts and looked out the window once more. There was a full moon out tonight, and it hung high overhead. I stared at it with a sense of wonder. I wondered what it would be like to live on the moon. Surely no problems would follow me out into the cosmos.

I brought myself out of my daydream and pushed myself off the ledge. It was too late for me to be thinking about not existing where I currently was. Plus it was getting cold. I made my way down the stairs and put the ladder back up quietly. Then I headed off to my room.

A noise from downstairs stopped me. I turned toward the source of the sound: downstairs.

“Hello?“ I called out. There was no answer.

Now I know what you’re thinking, and I promise you I’m not an idiot. I just thought that it was Mom. It was almost 2 in the morning and I thought she had come home for something during her break. That’s why I went downstairs.

I went down slowly. It was dark and in all honesty I was beginning to doubt that Mom was at the door. Still, I went down, and opened the door.

It wasn’t Mom. Instead, standing in the threshold, was Rick. Drunk off his ass Rick.

“Geez man, what the hell did you do?” I asked as I watched my stepfather wobble on his shaky legs. I grabbed him right before he hit the ground.

“Okay, let’s get you inside.” I lifted him back onto his feet and led him inside.

“This‘s a nice house kid,” he slurred. “You look too young for a nice house like this.”

“It’s your house,” I said as I led him to the couch.

“Right, I knew that.”

I shook my head. “Wait till Mom hears about this,” I mumbled.

“My mom’s not here,” he said.

“Yeah I know; I meant my-”

“Oh she’s gonna kill me!”

“Your mom’s not here,” I said slowly.

“Right,” he said calmly, “right.”

I sighed and went into the kitchen to get him some water and start on some coffee in case he needed it.

I leaned against the counter and ran a hand down my face. I couldn’t understand it. What would possess Rick to get shitfaced? He knew how much Mom hated it. Mom wasn’t unreasonable though; she knew that drinking was a stress reliever. She would sometimes have a glass of wine or two after work, but she never came home drunk out of her mind. She was responsible, and up until now I thought Rick was too.

A knock on the door took me out of my thoughts. I looked around, as if a more prepared, grown-up person would answer the door. Then I remembered my drunk-off-his-ass stepfather and I walked to the door.

“Uh, can I help you?” I asked the man standing in front of him. He had an annoyed look on his face.

“Yeah, I just drove some drunk dude here and he said he was going to pay me as soon as he got inside. Well you took him in ten minutes ago and I want my money.”

“Right,” I said with a sigh. “How much?” The man gave me the amount and I ran inside to get the cash from Rick’s wallet. It wasn’t like he was gonna remember this anyway.

“Thanks for bringing him home,” I said as I handed him the money. He simply nodded and gave me a “have a good night”.

I went back into the kitchen to get Rick’s hangover kit and brought it to him.

“Hey, wake up,” I said while hitting him on the leg. He groaned and swatted my hand away. “I don’t want to have to force you to drink this,” I said sternly. I pulled him up to a sitting position. I fed him the straw in the cup of water and stood there holding it until he drank the whole thing.

I watched him as he laid back down on the couch, his arm slung over the cushions and his face on the armrest. I debated taking him up to his room but he smelled of liquor and was already snoring. I signed and headed back to the kitchen to check on the coffee. Maybe Mom would have some when she got home. I left it in the pot and texted her, telling her that it was there if she wanted it when she got home.

I wrote for about two hours until I finally felt my mind slow down and drift off to sleep. Mom had come home some time while I was still up. By the sounds of it, she wasn’t happy. I heard her wake Rick up and yell at him; his drunken self was trying to keep up.

That night I fell asleep to the sound of my parents fighting playing in the background. I hated listening to it but hey, Mom chose to marry him.

***

I woke up at 6:30 in the morning to my mom yelling downstairs. I couldn’t hear what she was saying but her tone of voice told me that she was angry. Mom never got angry.

“How long are you going to keep this up?” I heard her ask as I approached the stairs.

“Mary I’m sorry. It won’t happen again,” Rick answered.

“You say that every time! And look, it still happens. God Rick, just get it together. What if Kellin saw you like that?”

“Hate to break it to you Mary, but I’m pretty sure Kellin is the reason why I’m in this house.”

“Yeah well I wish you weren’t.”

I cleared my throat as I walked down the last couple stairs and into the kitchen.

“Oh, hi Kellin. You want some breakfast?” Mom asked.

“Actually Lynn and I have some things to do before school so I’ll just grab something there,” I said without making eye contact with either of them.

“You sure, kid?” Rick asked.

“Yeah.” I grabbed an apple from the bowl on the counter when I felt their eyes on me. “I’m gonna get ready for school.” I felt their eyes follow me as I walked toward the stairs, but neither of them said anything. I went up and to the bathroom to get out of that awkward moment.

I took as much time upstairs as I could. I washed the events of last night out of my hair and off my skin; I cleansed my body of the fight I had just heard. I changed into new clothes that didn’t reek of disappointment, regret, and worry. By the time I was done I felt like a new man, and I wanted to hold onto that feeling for as long as I could before reality hit me with all that filth once again.

“Kellin?”

I stopped in my tracks at the foot of the stairs. Looks like reality wanted to mess me up earlier than expected.

“We need to talk tonight.” I nodded towards Mom.

“Don’t you have work though?” I asked her.

“No, I pulled my all-nighter last night so I have tonight off. It’ll give us this chance to clear some things up.”

I nodded again. “Sure, Mom.”

She smiled. “Okay, now go to school. You don’t want to keep Lynn waiting.”

I smiled shyly and went to kiss her on the cheek. Then I grabbed my keys and went to school.

***

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re really bad at that?” I looked up from the piano to see Vic standing in the doorway. I hadn’t even noticed that the door opened. “Seriously dude, take lessons or something.”

“I’m not in the mood for this,” I mumbled. I was sitting in a practice room just hitting keys with my finger. I had no idea how to play the thing, hence the reason why I was just hitting random keys.

“What bit you in the ass this morning?” I rolled my eyes.

“None of your damn business,” I snapped.

He put his hands up. “Woah, chill man. I was just messing with you.” I rolled my eyes again. “Seriously, tell me what’s up.”

“And why would I want to do that? Why, so you can make fun of me? So you can torment me more than you already do? So I can feel worse about my life than I already do? Well thanks but no thanks.”

I don’t know why I lashed out, but it felt right. All the shit I had witnessed came out towards Vic, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel good to tell him off.

He stood there looking at me, shocked at first, then his face reverted back to its blank state. I sat there staring back at him. I had finally realized what I’d said and I could feel my cheeks turning pink. Oh, if only I could disappear.

“Look, I know you and I didn’t exactly start off in the best way but we have to work together so why not be civil.”

I almost scoffed. Almost. Here he was, Vic Fuentes, the man himself, telling me that I needed to be civil with him. The guy who on my first day told me to watch my back. The guy everyone in school is afraid of for some weird reason. The guy I had been told on countless occasions to stay away from. That guy.

“Why don’t you try being civil with, I don’t know, anyone.”

“Look, I don’t know what shit in your corn flakes this morning but you need to calm the fuck down.”

“Or what?!” I challenged. “What, you’ll beat me up? You’ll spread rumors about me? I’ve been through much worse than that petty shit.”

“Oh I’ll show you worse.” I hadn’t noticed before but we were standing face to face. Our noses were almost touching; I could feel his warm breath on my skin. He was breathing somewhat heavy. His eyes were angry.

I never noticed his eyes before either.

They were a beautiful shade of chocolate brown; like two pools of Hershey’s. I could stare at them all d-.

Wait, am I fantasizing about Vic?

I cleared the thought from my mind and grabbed my bag. I had to get out of there.

“Where do you think you’re going?” I ignored him as I pushed past him and walked out of the room.

I ran down the halls to the nearest bathroom. I needed to be alone; I needed to leave. Unfortunately I never made it to the bathroom. My emotions got the best of me that I ended up sitting on a bench in the atrium.

I sat there as the events of the last twelve hours replayed in my head. Watching my stepdad come home drunk, hearing the fight and possible divorce of my parents, reliving events of my past for a stupid song, and now a moment of weakness between me and Vic’s eyes. My life was falling apart right in front of me and I couldn’t save it. Everything was out of my control and it scared me.

I had no plan for it. I always assumed my parents would make it but now Mom wanted to talk to me about the future of our family no less. I always thought I’d leave the past behind me but then that song makes a reappearance and I’m forced to relive the moments no matter how many new lyrics I write.

I never thought my first crush on a boy would be on my bully, and yet there I was, hating myself for liking the big brown eyes of the guy who was about to make my life a living hell.

The way I saw it I had two options. I could either go back and try to take the path of least resistance, which would mean admitting defeat and possibly opening up to Vic about my personal life because he wouldn’t let it go.

Or I could act like I wasn’t fazed and see how reality wanted to fuck with me. Whatever ways it wanted to do so, I would suffer in silence.

I went with choice number two.

[call-me-rei]

Chapter 9

“I think we were cursed from the start.”

---

I groaned in frustration as I flipped through my notebook. In an attempt to prepare for my audition that was fast approaching I was looking through my lyrics, trying to find a song to sing. One of the requirements was to sing a song that meant something to you. Why that was a requirement I have no idea, but it was and I was stuck. It wasn’t like my lyrics were meaningless; there were just many songs that I liked. There wasn’t necessarily one that meant more to me than the others.

“You mean to tell me that there isn’t a single song you like in there?” Lynn asked. I shook my head.

Our group of misfits were sitting at lunch, but Lynn, Tyler, and Sav were the only three focused on me and my problem.

“Why don’t you just sing a song on the radio or something?” Tyler asked. “It would save you all this frustration.”

“I’ve thought about it but that wouldn’t be right,” I answered. “Plus I hate what’s on the radio. None of it means anything anyway.”

“That makes sense, but you’re still at square one.”

I groaned. “Thanks for the reminder.”

“Look, how about I solve your problems?” Sav asked. We looked at her and her confident smile.

“By all means,” I said skeptically.

“Why don’t you go down to one of those rooms all the music people go to and sing in there? Or sing in the choir room.”

“Oh yeah!” Lynn said excitedly. “Lots of people do it. Practice in the place you’re gonna perform so you know what you’ll sound like.”

I thought about it. “That doesn’t sound too bad. Will you guys come and listen to me though? Make sure I’m not just hearing things?” They nodded.

“Of course, Kell,” Tyler answered. “I’d love to hear what you have to offer.”

I couldn’t help but smile. All that was left to do was narrow down my song choices.

The bell rang before I had the chance to. We all packed up our things and headed out the cafeteria to our different classes.

“You know, you haven’t talked about Vic all day,” Lynn said to me when she, Sav, and I were walking to environmental science.

“Because there’s nothing to talk about,” I replied nonchalantly.

“Bullshit,” Sav said. I looked at her to see that know-it-all smirk on her face.

“What do you mean, red?” I asked.

“I mean that I heard that the little guy is pretty pissed at you.”

“And how do you know that?”

“Oh please,” she scoffed, “everyone knows when Vic is angry at someone. It starts off small but soon the whole school will know how much trouble you’re in.”

I gulped. “And how much trouble am I in?”

“Don’t know,” she shrugged, “depends on what you did.”

I groaned inwardly as we walked into the classroom. I wanted more than anything to walk right back out, but the bell had rang and our teacher had started the lesson.

Why did I have to open my big mouth yesterday? Why did I have to be so upset? Why couldn’t he have just left me alone? Or better yet, why couldn’t he have told me the truth?

The more I thought about it the more I realized that him being mad at me was his own fault. He could’ve been honest or he couldn’t have brought it up at all, but no, instead he decided to be all secretive. Well it was his own fault that I snapped. Besides, he should learn some day that you can’t just mess with people’s heads.

“Alright class, movie time,” our teacher said as he went around the room putting papers on the desks. “Answer the questions on this worksheet and put it on my desk at the end of the film. This is not a completion grade so pay close attention.”

A few students groaned but didn’t say anything else on the subject. Once our teacher was done passing papers out he turned off the light and pressed the space bar on his computer, starting the movie.

“Are you worried?” Lynn asked me while the opening credits rolled.

“Of?”

“Vic.”

I shrugged. I didn’t know what I was feeling. Yes I was a little nervous to see what he’d do but I was also focused on other things. He wasn’t a big priority to me at that moment.

“I don’t wanna talk about him right now, okay?”

She nodded and looked toward the screen. That’s the thing I liked about Lynn, she knew when to let things go. She wasn’t about all the drama that was high school and I appreciated that, considering I was responsible for the most recent drama.

After an hour of listening to a wannabe Morgan Freeman tell us about the different biomes of the world we were free to go.

“Off to the land of music!” Sav said a little too excitedly. I looked at Lynn who just rolled her eyes.

“She gets like this,” she explained. “You could try to calm her down but there’s really no point.”

I chuckled. “As long as she’s ready to help,” I said.

We walked down the fine arts hallway to the practice rooms. Sav peeked in every window on every door until she stopped at on at the end of the hall. Without a word she walked into the room, leaving Lynn and I outside.

“I guess we should…,” I started. Lynn nodded and together we walked into the room.

I soon saw the reason behind Sav’s search. At the piano in the room was Tyler. He was singing a song I didn’t recognize and playing an accompanying pattern. I couldn’t help but follow his voice as it sang to me sweetly. I listened as he added more emphasis to some words and stretched the tone of others, giving new meanings to them. His voice was like honey and I was stuck.

He played a final resolving chord that rang for a few seconds before he looked towards me.

“So what’d you think?” he asked.

“That was amazing,” I said with a goofy grin on my face. “Why didn’t you tell me you could sing?”

“Well for one we’ve only known each other for a little over two weeks,” he answered. “And two, I wanted to surprise you when you made men’s chorus.”

“Surprise me how?”

“Well I figured seeing me in that class would be a big enough surprise.”

The lightbulb went off over my head.

“Oh!” I exclaimed.

“Yeah,” he said with a laugh, “‘Oh.’”

I brushed it off. “Anyway, you gonna help me or what?”

“Let’s hear what you got.”

I put my bag on the floor and pulled out my notebook. I stared at its cover thoughtfully. This was going to be the first time anyone would ever hear me sing one of my original works. What if they hated it? How harshly would they judge me? Suddenly I felt extremely nervous.

“You alright there Kells?” Sav asked.

I cleared my throat. “Uh, yeah. It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“I don’t exactly have instrumentals for these,” I thought up quickly. It wasn’t a complete lie. I had only recently started listening to demos when I wrote. I didn’t really like it very much anyway.

“Well it’s a good thing I’m here,” Tyler said proudly. “Pick a song and read off the lyrics. I’ll try my best to add to it.”

I nodded. This wouldn’t be too bad. I turned to a song I had written years ago.

“I know that hope weighs on your mind, lost within the seams; It seems like we lose ourselves in between.”

Tyler started playing chords after I sang the first line.

“But the harder things become, the harder you push away. "Oh, it kills me.”

I stopped reading and looked at Tyler who was now playing random shit on the keys.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

He shushed me. “Just listen.”

He started playing the same chords as before with different alterations. He inverted some and after a couple minutes he was playing a rhythm.

“Sing along to this,” he said.

I raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know…”

“C'mon Kell, just trust me. Sing along to this.” He repeated the same pattern while looking at me hopefully. I gave him a small smile and took a breath before I joined in.

“I know that hope weighs on your mind, lost within the seams; It seems like we lose ourselves in between. But the harder things become, the harder you push away. Oh baby, yeah baby, it kills me.”

Tyler stopped playing and smiled at me. "See? I knew there was something there, he said excitedly.

I beamed. "What did you guys think?” I asked the girls.

“I need more,” Sav said with a smile. Lynn nodded in agreement.

“Well Kell, let’s give the people what they want.”

I nodded. The four of us spent two more hours in that room before the security guard told us to go home.

“Kellin I’m serious, that’s the song you should sing,” Lynn said as we walked out of the school.

“I agree, and not because I basically put the whole thing together,” Tyler said smugly.

“I don’t know guys…”

“Kellin, you’ve been saying that you needed a song that meant something to you. Well obviously you wrote that one for a reason so sing it proudly.”

I mulled Sav’s words over in my head. “Yeah, I’ll think about it.”

Clearly she wasn’t happy about that answer but she let it go. The four of us parted ways as we reached the parking lot.

I had my reasons for not wanting to sing that song. I wrote it during a dark time that I was convinced I would never get out of. Hell, I was still living through it. It was as if no matter how hard I tried or how good things seemed to get I was always brought back to the darkest time of my life.

I got in my car and began the drive home, trying to forget the reason I had written that song in the first place.

[call-me-rei]

Chapter 6

“The last time that I had these thoughts I just kept going on about it.”

—

“Hey.” I shut my locker and jumped with a start. I looked to where the open door had been to see Vic leaning against the locker next to mine.

“Uh, hey?” I said carefully.

“My house. After school. Three-thirty.” Without another word or giving me a chance to respond he left. I looked around the hall but no one had been paying attention to our little interaction. I tugged on my hair a screeched through clenched teeth.

“You okay there, Kell?” I sighed and turned around. Lynn was approaching me with Jenna and Savannah next to her.

“Just great,” I said sarcastically. Lynn picked up on my mood in an instant.

“What’s up, princess? Did Prince Charming make life confusing again? Could you not fit your foot in the slipper?”

“What?”

She shook her head. “Forget it. What’s wrong?”

“Yeah, like I’m gonna tell you.”

“So she was right?” Jenna laughed at Savannah’s comment. I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that she’d guessed that Lynn was right. Unfortunately, you can’t hide things from girls.

“C’mon Kells, what did Vic do this time?” Jenna asked. I sighed and motioned for them to follow me. It was lunch time, and I was just putting my books away when Vic approached me, for whatever reason. I didn’t have any classes with him today so maybe that was why we came up to me, but why did he invite me over?

“Hello, Earth to Kellin. You in there, bud?” I blinked a couple times and noticed Savannah’s fingers in front of my face. I hadn’t realized that I walked into the lunch line, or that the girls had been trying to get my attention.

“Sorry,” I said. The four of us went to our usual table and sat down. Tyler, Trent, Ashley, and Tori were already there.

“Hello beautiful people,” Trent greeted us. The girls brushed it off while I sat there a little uncomfortable. It wasn’t that Trent made me uncomfortable; it was just that his comments caught me off guard. I hadn’t come out to anyone yet but I sure as hell knew who I was attracted to. Trent was certainly a cute guy, not really my type but he was attractive.

“How have you guys’ day been?” I asked to regain composure.

“Had a test in physics. So much more math than I was expecting,” Tori explained. Savannah patted her head.

“It’s okay,” she said, “you’ll get ‘em next time.”

“I never said I failed,” Tori shot back defensively. Savannah laughed.

“Anyway, Kellin was just about to tell us about what just happened with him and Vic in the hall.”

I shot Lynn a look and shook my head. It seemed like all I ever did was talk about Vic, not that any of them minded. I had to remember that I hung out with a bunch of girls and homosexual guys who loved to gossip about the school’s badass. Every little bit of information I gave them was cherished.

“I think I’m gonna pass on spreading rumors today. Maybe next time.” I didn’t say another word and ate my lunch instead. Jenna and Trent looked disappointed but I saw Lynn give them a look to drop it. Instead we proceeded to talking about how our weekend had been, aside from the group hangout on Saturday.

“What about you, Kell? How’s your day been?”

I mulled over Ashley’s question. In all actuality my day had been pretty boring; it was Monday after all. I went to class, went to more classes, then lunch. The most exciting part of the day was when Vic came up to me, although I guess that couldn’t count as exciting. Interesting to say the least, but not exciting.

“Kellin?” I blinked. I hadn’t noticed that Ashley was trying to get my attention.

“Oh, sorry. Um, my day was good. Ready to get it over with,” I responded quickly.

“I hear that,” Tyler said. “Actually, I’m ready to get this week over with.”

“It’s literally Monday,” Savannah pointed out.

“And?” She shook her head with a smile as she got up to throw away her trash.

“I’ll see you guys in a bit. I need to go be one with nature.”

“Is that her way of saying she needs to use the bathroom?” I asked. The girls laughed since they were the ones in earshot.

“No silly,” Tori answered, “she’s literally gonna go be with nature.” That confused me more.

Tori and Lynn explained that Savannah was a self-proclaimed hippie who loved spending all her free time around animals and the outdoors. Since she was trapped within the walls of the high school though, she found time and ways to get outside and be one with the trees or something like that.

Sav was back in ten minutes and then we were all off to class.

“So, are you gonna tell us what he did or no?” Sav asked as we neared the classroom.

“What who did?”

“Don’t play dumb, Quinn.” I rolled my eyes.

“No, I’m not.”

“But why not?”

“Because,” I said sternly. I let the conversation drop there as I walked ahead of her and Lynn into the classroom.

I slowly realized that I was becoming the center of attention in my little friend group, but for the wrong reasons. They seemed to only want to hang out with me to get dirt on Vic. I wanted friends but I didn’t want to be used for entertainment. That was what my friendship with these people was turning out to be.

“Kell?” I looked up from my notebook to see Lynn standing over me. “Sorry about Sav; she can get a little pushy.”

I nodded. I had noticed.

“It’s alright,” I said although it was a lie. We didn’t need to get into an argument right before class.

“No, it’s not and I’ll tell her. It’s just that we’re all used to it since we’ve known each other for years. I’ll tell her to back off with you until you get more comfortable with her.”

I wanted to tell her not to do that, but the simple fact that she was defending me took all the doubt about my friendship with her from my mind. Yes, Savannah was pushy, but Lynn was friends with her. Good-natured Lynn Gunn, who after my first day of class was my automatic friend, who thought of herself as my best friend, was friends with her and so many other great people. Maybe I was overreacting in the moment.

“Thanks Gunn, you’re good people.”

“Oh, I’m not,” she said, “but I can fake it can’t I?” She finished her sentence with a wink before taking her seat next to me. I couldn’t help but smile.

Savannah joined us and soon class started. Of course it dragged on but things were chill between the three of us. Once the hour was up the three of us walked out of school together.

“You don’t have anything to do tonight, do you?” Lynn asked me. I shook my head.

“Not that I know of.” Mom was going to be working but she told be she’d me off by ten since she wasn’t planning on taking on an extra shift. Rick would be home by dinner but things were kind of weird between us since the weekend. At least they were on my end. He didn’t actually seem to notice.

“Cool, let’s go to the mall. Have you been?”

“To a mall? Yeah, I think so.”

“Hey, I don’t appreciate being out-sassed,” Savannah said in a playful hurt tone.

“Sorry princess,” I apologized. She stuck her tongue out at me.

“Okay, but we should totally go!” Sav said excitedly. “The mall’s huge and there’s this fountain and pond with the cutest turtles and ducks that you can play with and there are some fish and-”

“Calm down, girly,” Lynn interrupted. She turned to me. “As you can see, the mall has a lot of fun things. So what do you say, you wanna hang?”

Before I could open my mouth to respond I felt an arm sling around my shoulders and the body heat of another person against me.

“Sorry ladies, but little Kellin here isn’t going to be going anywhere. We have other plans.”

The girls’ eyes nearly popped out of their heads as they looked between me and the guy whose arm was around me.

“Don’t fucking stare,” he said forcefully, “get gone!” Without a single word Lynn and Savannah went off into the parking lot. I stared in shock at the spot they were once in before turning to the person next to me.

“Who are you?”

I had never seen this person before in my life. Actually, that was a lie. I had seen him once, with Tony. He was sitting with him at the pizza parlor that night when Tony tried to talk me into accepting Vic. This person was tall with tattoos covering his arms, like Tony. He was thin like Tony too, but had stronger features. While Tony had a baby face, this person looked like he could kill you with a single stare.

“Now, now Kellin, that’s no way to talk to me,” he said. I gulped inwardly as he stared me down. “C’mon buddy, let’s go for a ride.”

With a tighter grip on my shoulder he led me to the parking lot. I had no idea where we were going. Was he kidnapping me? No, right? He wouldn’t do that. No one who goes to the same school as you would kidnap you, right? I didn’t know what to think.

“Which car is yours?” he asked. Without thinking I pointed down the row of cars that were still parked to my blue sedan. “Cool,” he said. He took his arm away from me and walked to my car. I stood there confused.

“Um, what’s happening?” I asked when I was finally able to form words.

“Just unlock the car.” I hesitated but did it when I saw the stern look he was giving me. I knew it was a dumb idea but it was better than getting beaten to a pulp.

The stranger, who still hadn’t told me his name, got in the passenger’s side and shut the door while I stood there wondering what the hell had just happened. Some guy I’d never been formally introduced to just got in my car without my consent. I could get him arrested for this, right? I was contemplating this as the familiar sound of my horn rang out. I sighed and rolled my eyes before making my way to my car.

“Glad you could join me,” he said when I sat in my seat and shut the door.

“Who are you and what do you want?”

He chuckled. “I guess I should explain that, huh?” I didn’t answer. “Okay, okay. The name’s Mike. Mike Fuentes. Also known as MikeyWhiskeyHands or Vic’s little brother, whichever you prefer.”

I looked at him questionably. MikeyWhiskeyHands? Vic’s brother? That still didn’t explain why he was in my car.

“You gonna say something?” he asked. I pursed my lips, thinking of a response that wouldn’t be too out of line. This guy was related to Vic so rubbing him the wrong way would be bad news for me.

“I know that look,” Mike said. “I’m nothing like Vic, let me clear that up now. Yes my brother is a jerk sometimes but he’s a good kid. No I don’t use fear tactics like he does. No I’m not gonna beat you up. Yes you’re perfectly safe with me, and yes, I’d like for us to be friends after this.”

“After what?” I asked.

“See, my brother likes to act on impulse a lot. He doesn’t think things out until after the thing happens. So when he asked you to come over today he forgot to give you an address or directions, basically any useful information. That’s why I’m here. I was kinda voluntold to accompany you to our home. Plus he kinda left without me so I wouldn’t have a choice in the matter. Can you believe that? He texted me twenty minutes before class ended to tell me to find you and bring you home. What a jerk.”

I sat there and tried to take in whatever it was that he had just said. He had a chill vibe but boy he could talk once you got him started.

“Anyway,” he said when he noticed that I wasn’t going to respond, “I think we should get going. I need to get home anyway and do chores and you and Vic have something to do. I don’t know, he doesn’t tell me anything. Or maybe he did and I wasn’t paying attention. That’s probably it.”

“So he didn’t tell you why he invited me?” That was something that still hadn’t been cleared since Mike introduced himself to me.

“Nope. Again, he doesn’t tell me shit sometimes. You’d think we’d be closer than that but no, he likes his secrets.”

“Right, so where?” I asked as I turned the key in the ignition and started the car.

It was a ten minute drive to Mike’s house. He would interrupt his direction-giving with random spurts of whatever thought popped in his head. It wasn’t frequent but I could tell that there was a lot going on up there. Soon I was parking the car on the curb in front of his house.

“Hey,” he said as we walked up to the house, “I’ve gotta let you in on something.”

“What’s up?”

“Well, before you go up there, I think you should know that Vic’s very-”

“Vic’s very what?” I looked at the now open door to see Vic standing there with his arms crossed across his chest.

“Pushy,” Mike said while still looking at me. “Vic’s very pushy.”

“Whatever,” Vic said. Mike shrugged at me, sort of an ‘I told you so’ shrug, before going inside.

“Alright,” Vic said. I looked in his direction as he walked back into the house. I stayed in my place on the porch, not knowing if I should follow him. “Well?” he asked when he turned around and saw me standing there. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and followed him inside.

“Let’s get this over with.”