#do you remember having worked with them for the past few months??? no??? then they're probably new!
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also my most useless coworker got into light trouble today because she didn't listen to me. felt good <3
#see i TOLD HER that she should take her till and relieve a specific person so she could go on break#like not just close her register i told her to specifically take over that register because the girl was in a double with our new guy#who i don't want to be alone yet. and what does she do? she closes her register and opens a new one#so i was like 'umm that's not what i said. the new guy can't be alone yet' and she proceeds to misgender him and then says she doesn't want#to be in that register because it's too cramped in there. our supervisor notices this some time later and i tell her what i WANTED to happen#and what actually DID happen. aka that my Most Useless Coworker just decided to go rogue and ignore me even when i told her TWICE MORE#that this person is new and needs to have someone with them#and then she had the GALL to try and tell our supervisor when she brought it up a second time later that she didn't know he was new#when i told her no less than three times in that conversation alone. and also what do you mean you can't tell when someone is new#do you remember having worked with them for the past few months??? no??? then they're probably new!#anyway she got scolded and told to listen to me 💕💕💕💕#rayrambles
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[Ghost crashed into a car before he parked ours] - Mafia!TF141*F!Reader
Summary: You sigh when it's the fifth time someone fights in your poor tea shop this month. You just open it two months ago, in an area ruled by mafia called '141'. Maybe you should find their boss and give them money or what to stop the bullshit keeps happening in your shop. (well, here they come)
Mafia!TF141*F!Reader
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
To your surprise, Kyle, or Gaz – the model-like man introduced himself as – is such a considerate person with a nice sense of humor, at least compared to Soap or Ghost.
That day you trapped yourself in the predicament with John, he seemed to sense your embarrassment, hence he just handed his boss a backup shirt without making fun of you like his boss, so you have a lot of time for the man.
Like now, he’s sitting and sharing a plate of biscuits with you, enjoying a tranquil tea time accompanied by the pleasant smell of Earl Grey.
“You don’t have jobs to do today?” You raise your cup and ask, before taking another sip and watch Kyle finish his bite and reply.
“Ghost’s in charge of dealing with the enemy today.”
“Ehmm, okay” You refuse to figure out what ‘dealing’ means “What about others?"
"I killed mine yesterday.”
Okay, you truly don’t mean this, but let’s just end this topic and move on. With a few biscuits down to your stomach, brainwashing yourself to forget what you heard seconds before with the sweetness, and buying you some time to come up with a better subject, you open your mouth again.
“Every time one of you comes here, you just scare all my customers away.”
“Isn’t that better?”
“I need customers to earn money, Kyle.”
“You have us to pay you.” He points at the badge pasted on your wall. Of course, you’re not the one who put it on, you rather read the military smut out in front of all British than do it, but if you try to take it off, Soap will put a new one back, so in the end you just compromised and let him claim your shop publicly.
“This place isn’t only served for you guys.”
“It isn’t?”
Is it possible to refute when Kyle flashes you a smile that you almost get blind and start wondering if he can replace himself as your lights and save you the electricity bill? Maybe counting this as one of Kyle’s humor will be better than explaining. All required is to ignore the evil glints in his majestic brown eyes while he questions you.
But even though Kyle said he doesn’t have work today, he doesn’t stay long after he finishes his tea.
“Gotta head back to help the boss.” He grins as he turns the knob and waves you goodbye.
What’s weird is that after Kyle leaves your shop, customers start flooding back. Many of them are familiars of the shop, as you’re sure they’re 141’s lackeys too.
You remember them see you as one of the henchmen… Although they're not as afraid as when they first visit the shop because of your hospitable attitude, you can still sense the attentiveness in their demeanor.
No matter what, you’re going to figure out what’s actually happening.
“Hey, you.” You walk to one of the minions' sides. “Mind to tell me about why you guys always disappear when Gaz or Ghost or others come here?”
“We…” The guy’s eyes avert, shooting his friend a glance for help “It’s just a coincidence.”
“Coincidence?” Raising your eyebrow, you lower your voice to make it menacing
“It really is, ma’am, nothing to bother with the Sirs.”
“Show me, they must have sent some messages to inform you guys, right? Let me take a look, or I will…” You will what? Actually, you have no idea what you can do to these guys that can lift you up and throw you into a trash bin like a shot “Wait a second.”
Quickly running back to your kitchen, you come back with your most intimidating weapon –
“Or I will hit you with my pan!” You wiggle your arm as a threat.
“…”
They don’t look scared of the pan for a tiny bit. Wait, you should take your kitchen knife instead, who the fuck will pick a pan? You idiot.
yet to your satisfaction, they still fish out their phone and let you have it, and you don’t waste any time as you open the texting app.
‘Announcement: Boss will arrive at the tea shop in 10 minutes, clear the shop immediately.’
So they really are scaring your customers off. Give the phone back to the poor guy with pity in your eyes, you bring him a few more biscuits.
You’re strolling through the aisles in the shop. You’re out of flour and sugar, and every Wednesday the groceries are on sale. You never miss these chances to build up savings.
What a nice shopping trip. Quiet, leisure, just enjoying your own time, picking up different brands of cereal and calculating which is cheaper like a competent broken adult. Things never go wrong when you’re alone.
“Hey lass!”
Well, you’re kidding, things go south too quickly. The voice’s too familiar. It must be a hallucination.
“Lass? Bonnie?”
Don’t look back, keep walking. It’s not the detergent man with a stupid chicken crest yelling at you.
“HEY!” A hand pats you on your shoulder and makes you jump. Sighing internally and prey there won’t be any trouble caused by the man, you turn around and face him.
“Oh, Soap, Hi.” Shit, looks like you just can’t have a break from these men. “I didn’t hear you.”
“Even though the nan outside tells me te shut the fok up?”
“Yes.” you shamelessly admit, pro tip to confront people without shame “Why are you here by the way, Soap?”
“Oh, we’re in need of some things, so Ghost pulled off during our way home.”
You take a glimpse at his basket. A rope, a roll of duct tape, and a knife.
They must be going on a picnic. Yes, don’t overthink. The rope is for securing the tent, the duct tape is for concealing the holes on it. Knife? they surely will need it when cutting apples.
The image of Ghost slaughtering… peeling apple you mean, with Soap and Gaz playing red light green light and John napping in the tent is so vivid in your mind that you need to restrain the laugh with a clear of your throat before you grunt in affirmation and restart your steps.
With Soap depriving you of your last respite, you choose to grab what you need and head to the counter. All you want is to get home, have a nice shower, and lie on the bed reading the new fic you found last night.
“Do ye need help?” He watches you shove the products in your bag, but 5 huge cartons of milk are too heavy for your weak limbs, you can feel your arms trembling under your attempt.
“It’s okay, my car’s near the door. I can carry this myself.” Again, cheekiness works every time. You don’t care about strangers staring at you struggling with the bag and exit the supermarket in a crab way, as long as it can bring you back into peace faster, and you almost tear up when you see your car, the white of it is like the lighthouse in the atramentous night.
Hey, but you don’t remember your car has a goddamn huge dent at its boot.
“Oh yeah, forgot to tell ye. Ghost crashed into a car before he parked ours, and he’s contemplating whether he should kidnap the driver when they come back and make them shut up, or just kill them.” Soap looks at you stopping in despair as he recognizes what you’re looking at. “So it’s your car aye?”
You don’t answer him, you just watch Ghost materialize from the Shadow beside your car and give you a nod.
Fuck your life.
a/n: ty for reading :D have a nice day/night!
Car -1, Peaceful night -1
tag list :D - @blackhawkfanatic @nexthyperfix @danielle143 @goodbyegh0st @reaperxxxxzz @kaoyamamegami @imyprice @cod-z @poppingaround @live-for-fluff @masterstr0ke @mall0ww
#cod imagine#cod x reader#cod x you#ghost x reader#ghost x you#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#soap x reader#soap x you#john soap mactavish x reader#john soap mactavish x you#kyle gaz garrick x you#kyle gaz garrick x reader#gaz x reader#gaz x you#price x reader#price x you#john price x reader#john price x you#tf141 x reader#tf 141 x reader#tf141 x you#mafia!tf141
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known strangers - jude bellingham x reader.
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quick sum: when a stranger from the past is now your future, how are things going to work when the only thing in mind you have is that weekend and him. your boss.
wc: 4k | masterlist | jude’s masterlist
psa 🗣️: HIIIIII!!! ceo!jude ?? yess plsss!! inspired by a clip back when he did cibieles, and a few requests i mixed and played around with 🤭🤭 like always hope you enjoy!! and i am sooo sorry for delaying this!! yet i do feel i'm getting back on track 🤞🏻
“it should not be this fucking hot… why is it so hot?” you blabber to yourself, the wind blowing pieces of your hair around all over the place, making them stick to your lipgloss. you gently removed them from your lips, but they frustrated you more as they returned. your heels clicked against the floor, tugging your purse tighter once you arrived at the huge, tall building downtown.
you were directed right away by the receptionist, her simple instructions to take the elevator to the last floor and then turn left. you felt frozen upon seeing the metal doors, a bubble of anxiety rising through your throat as you began to take it all in. the huge building, the fancy decor, the employees. you felt more than fortunate to land a job a couple of months after you graduated.
most of your friends and people you attended uni with either landed jobs before graduation or were still looking for those opportunities. your line of work came in handy, and you were very pleased at how much you had achieved at your age. you could travel, work, spoil yourself, and make a title for yourself. this was the first chance for you to start your career independently and you took that very seriously.
you scrolled aimlessly on your phone while waiting for the elevator doors to close, checking the latest emails and texts from your friends, holding your purse tight, and fixing your hair back to how it should've been before the wind ruined it. “advice them to assure they're all prepared, the last time they couldn't even utter a word and take responsibility for what they did…” you looked up, standing straighter as you heard a deep voice.
the word scared couldn't even define how you felt at that moment, the blood rushing down your face and stomach-turning upon seeing a similar figure. the same person you spent a night with a summer ago. you recognized him from a mile away as he moved in slow motion, or was it just in your head? it couldn’t possibly be him? or could it?
you looked away almost immediately when you locked eyes for a few seconds, clearing your throat and pretending not to be bothered, but truly you were dying inside just a little. not a little, a lot, you felt like throwing up. maybe you were being dramatic, but a worse fear of yours was seeing somebody you recognize or know in public.
oh how much you wanted to be over, yet it didn't end. the elevator ride was endless, the four walls feeling like they were closing you in, filled with heated tension, and awkwardness. All you could do was breathe quietly, look up to be faced with his firm and structured back under his suit, or be on your phone. you let out a sigh of relief once you walked out, legs wobbly, and your stomach back in place, thankful you didn't throw up from nerves.
you quickly forgot about it, knowing he didn't remember you or acknowledged it. you attended the first meeting of the day, getting to meet a couple of new coworkers who would be participating in the same campaign as you. you all settled to get drinks and lunch together later on after finishing a hypothetical proposal and outline.
a bead of happiness burst in your chest. you could get used to this, it wasn't as bad as it seemed and you fitted in with the rest of them there.
—--------------- 𝒿.𝒷 —---------------
“this weather is so bipolar i don't think my hair will handle it,” said lilly frustrated, shaking her umbrella and putting it away. “as an american this is completely different than where i live, i’d be dying from the heat right now,” she jokes earning a laugh from everyone. “i promise it’s not that bad,” chris sarcastically says shrugging off his coat.
“that bad? it rained all week!”
you were allowed an hour break for lunch, so you all settled for a nice coffee shop across the street since the weather didn’t look promising. after debating and getting conceived by lilly, you ordered an iced coffee and chocolate croissant, content and ready to eat something. the whole group sat by the windows, getting distracted by the rainfall before julian spoke up.
“have you guys met the ceo?” you shake your head no, having no idea what they were or who exactly they were referring to. “no, let’s not even call in that negative energy… the receptionists in the front were gossiping how he had super high expectations for us after last years team was a disaster,” julian stressed, shaking horrified, almost as he had been part of it.
“who exactly is the ceo?” you asked with an unsure smile, earning looks and daggers. “what? what do you mean you don’t know who he is? he basically runs this entire city!” julian was first to speak making you laugh, “you’re joking right?” you deadpan earning a shake from julian. “no… you do realize we have a meeting later with him… right?”
“i barely fully moved in two days ago and haven’t had time to do any research,” you explain taking a sip of your drink. “okay why did i also not know this?” chris exclaimed taking his phone out immediately to check his email.
“guys we can’t forget stuff like this especially when he has strictly scheduled meetings with us! i’m not lying when i say this man will fire us on the spot,” stressed julian making you and lilly snicker a laugh but totally agreeing with him. you couldn’t lose this job just because of minor details like this. you needed to be prepared and organized.
“what else do you know about this ceo?” lilly teased him, laughing when he squinted his eyes towards her.
“well for starters this man is strict and loves his work done in a well manner. if he believes you won't succeed with him, he won't even bother to call you into his office. he was born and raised in england his whole life, he's considered like royalty now with the status he has. you can probably piece he’s the most young eligible bachelor if women are luck to cross his path.”
“he started his company at a young age, no one knows by what or what inspired him, but it's rumored by a small incident when he was young. he's rated most arogant, executive, successful, directorial ceo in all of europe. If that doesn’t scare you than i don’t know what does…” he finished saying.
“well then… no pressure guys,” you joked
—--------------- 𝒿.𝒷 —---------------
“my hand hurts i can’t write anymore,” you sigh removing your glasses and gently closing your eyes feeling how dry and irritated they were, from switching to your ipad and writing notes in your notebook. “that double espresso shot hasn’t kicked in yet,” yawned chris, standing up and stretched.
“for our first day we haven’t done so bad-”
a knock on the glass doors made everyone turn their head, a woman in her late 50s came in, “your scheduled meeting with the ceo is in five.” a sudden mood shift was practically immediate, everyone glancing at each other before prancing around to gather their items. julian even taking a breather before being the first to walk out.
your steps stopped, lilly almost crashing into you as you stared ahead to the one person you didn’t think of ever seeing again. jude. there was no describing how you felt, you couldn’t hear anything around you, just focused on him. How he spoke and had this angry daze on him. julian wasn't lying when he said everyone feared him, you just prayed he didn’t call or recognize you.
“you good?”
“y-yeah-h i’m fine! It just hit me out of nowhere you,” you quickly lied, offering a small smile before hiding behind everyone.
jude looked up dismissing what seemed like his assistant before stepping over to where you all stood. luck didn’t seem to be on your side, since everyone got into a line and put on their most professional smile. jude shook everyone's hand, greeting them and welcoming them to his company. your chest moved up and down as he approached you, biting the inside of your lip anxiously.
“hello, welcome. i’m jude bellingham, it's a delight… to have you here,” jude stammered, his hand shaking yours slower almost as if he wanted to take a better look. you barely looked up just focused on shaking his hand and for him to continue down to the last person. “thank you for having us here,” you spoke softly, removing your hand gently so he could continue on.
jude’s stare lingered on you earning a small shove from lilly who asked with her eyes, “does he know you? do you know him?” you ignored, rather focusing now on your shoes which you had not noticed had mud on them, a headache wanting to appear just by the couple last minutes.
how was it possible? how was it possible for the two of you to be here? in the same room? he was now your boss, and you were his employee. you were to follow his rules, while he just observed and made them. this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. you envisioned a dream different than this. you were convinced it was someone else but not him?
you avoided him at all costs, not wanting to make it weird for him or yourself, but rather save the embarrassment and fear you felt for some other time. if you felt he got nearer you walked away somewhere else, you looked up when it felt like he was the only one staring at you while he spoke. the only constant thought in your head was to act like the professional y/n everyone knew. the one who held her head up high, and got her way no matter what.
------- ୨୧ -------
“why is it you’re doing this?” you asked cheerfully, slipping into jude’s hold as he fixed his sunglasses and laid back on the pool chair. “i don’t understand what you mean?” he shrug, his hand racing from your spine down to your bum, where he rubbed it softly over the bikini material. “explain to me darling.”
“we just met jude… it feels like we’ve known each other longer… surely it feels like something else…”
jude chuckled. “i’ll keep it simple. i happened to be on a business trip and i stumbled across you. you’ve recently graduated, and traveled here to celebrate. though now you're here with me… in this lounge chair, in my bed, in my arms, because that how attached we’ve gotten? tell me i’m wrong?” he challenged, as he leaned up and slid you onto his lap.
“you’re wrong,” you dared with a huge smile on your face sliding your hands onto his shoulders feeling his lips pepper kisses onto your jaw.
“then i’m not doing my job correctly.”
------- ୨୧ -------
“i wanna know more about you, tell me,” you leaned over slightly grabbing his hand and brushed your thumb softly over his knuckles. jude’s eyes followed your movements feeling hesitant since he never did this. his job didn’t allow him to have enough personal time to be himself. but with you, he’d kill to spend every moment together.
so he found himself losing himself in your eyes and allowing himself to reply to any question, doubt, feeling you had. “i promise i’m not that interesting as you think…”
“surely that can’t be true? there's always something more hidden, a locked mystery in a person who doesn't fully show themselves to the world…” you reply taking a sip of your wine staring into his intense eyes, not knowing that behind them jude was already obsessing and going crazy about the idea of you. you allowed yourself to be you and vulnerable, why couldnt he?
“ask me anything.”
------- ୨୧ -------
“what's the biggest aspiration you had as a kid?” jude randomly asked, tucking his head closer into your neck. “the word aspiration would be impossible for five year old me to know. the dream she had was to explore the ocean as a mermaid, then grow up to be teacher,” you rambled.
“would she be proud of the person you are now?”
“she would be mad because of stubborn she was but yes, more than proud…”
------- ୨୧ -------
Jude’s chest burned with anger, grabbing the nearest item before throwing hearing it break into tiny pieces. He took a seat by the balcony looking over to the small
‘dear jude,
the past week has been the most strangest yet fulfilled week i’ve ever had. never did i imagine to meet an extraordinary person like you. and so it pains me write this knowing we have different and separate lives. believe me, i’m saving you from something that would’ve turned ugly. you deserve better and its not me. you have exclusivity, a richer mentality that i know for sure i can’t live up to… just think of me of the one person who you first ever truly got to be yourself with… five year old jude would be proud.
- y/n ♡︎
jude was back to the old him. the one before meeting you. the one too busy for anything and focused on his companies future. yet he couldn’t think at all, your scent lingering around his rrom, in the white button up you wore the night before, just right after moaning his name during your high.
he laughed in disbelief, once again feeling the disappointment and pain in his chest, gliding across the room to the coffee bar where a almost empty bottle of whiskey stood. not thinking it one second and grabbing the bottle to take a huge jug of the bitter drink.
“exclusivity my ass.”
—--------------- 𝒿.𝒷 —---------------
“anything else we can get for you sir?” your coworker asks, jude sighing and loosing his tie. you looked down at your feet, making sure your heels were still shiny after stepping on mud but cleaning it off as you shifted your weight nervously. “you. what’s your name?” his tone laced with a demanding manner. “me?-” lilly blurted.
“no her, the one next to you.”
“i’m y/n… what can i help with,” you nodded. you felt exposed under a microscope. like a new scientific specie discovered. everyone's eyes were on you, making you want to run out and book the first flight back. jude’s eyes widen a tad bit, not knowing if he was just taking you in or if he remembered that same night back in the almafi coast.
“that’s it for today. i will see you all wednesday,” jude shook his head, a bubble of relief bursting through his chest when he recognized you. that same excitement from that night you first met, where you spent the entire evening together, drinks, dinner, dancing, to then sharing his bed in the most intimate manner.
had you remembered him like he did?
“y/n? please stay back, i’d like to run a few things with you,” you were sure your stomach had dropped to your ass again for the second time today, heart banging in your chest that doctors would’ve busted into the room quickly. your friend gave you a confused look, receiving a shy smile from you. you weren’t sure what he wanted, or expected, all you wanted was to leave.
“what can i help with?” you said again, taking short strides as you opened your notebook and prepared to take notes. “why is that i recognize you from somewhere?” jude pushed his brows in, eyes roaming you as you took a seat in front of him. you gulped afraid your voice would sound scared and small in front of jude. could you even call him that? or would you have to refer to him as sir like others? “uh… maybe you have me confused with someone else,” you offered a lie, pursing your lips.
“no. i know who you are…” jude persisted
“i’m sorry sir, i think you are mistaken-”
“jude, call me jude.”
“j-jude, this is a huge misunderstanding,” you giggle nervously shaking your hands, watching as the tall man stands up from his chair and came around to sit on his desk right exactly infront of you. his jaw clenched, leaning slightly back as his hand interlocked and rested just below his stomach, watching as he took a deep breath. “some could argue it isn’t.”
“i don't know-”
“last year i fired two people on their first day because they lied to me. will we have a repeat of that today y/n?” he said sternly making you scoff in disbelief. “excuse me? if me being here bothers you that much then it sounds like an ego problem,” you defend sitting up straight, closing your notebook.
“i’m not here to waste your time or mine either. just get onto what you need to say,” you hurried no caring if you sassed or had an attitude. the nerve to threaten you, on your first day, just because of some history. ‘the history that keeps you up y/n’… said your conscious.
it’s true… and while you hated to bring him up, to recall every memory spent on that trip. you knew deep inside he wasn’t just a stranger. he was someone engraved in your mind until forever held its peace.
you felt shitty the morning after leaving him. remembering how tears flew down your cheeks as you wrote the letter, how jude could sense the already empty space before you walked out. out of the room and his life. but never in your life had you become that scared of being that vulnerable and attached.
every piece of him haunted you. the name, his music taste, the black tie he used the first night you shared a bed together, his briefcase filled with documents, the black gel pens, and gold watch. you felt him everywhere though he was no longer there. you knew the insecurities had won, and you accepted that a person like him could never be with you. the status, the medal he wore around his neck. you couldn’t be that.
“what i need to say? it’s not even close to enough to what i felt after you left me… i know it was you in the elevator this morning, yet i fooled myself into thinking it wasn’t because surely it didn’t seem real…” you looked away rubbing your hands across your lap to clean off the sweat your palms began to build.
“you didn’t mean anything to me… i lied,” you said quickly wanting to forget about him and to push him away. you couldn’t mess up this job opportunity. not wanting to risk what your colleagues, what the press would say. not wanting to risk the possibility of a lifetime just because of a week you spent together. you didn’t do all this work just to get nothing and over a man who just feel rage because of your fault.
“you see, to me exclusivity means nothing to me. not when i know i have the voice to control and decide my life… to chose who i want to spend the rest of my life with,” his voice sounded deep, he looked so hot with his suit on. just exactly how you remembered if not even more handsome. “then do it with someone else, you aren't enough, never will be,” you appointed quickly, standing up and paced around.
jude scoffed a laugh, not feeling an ounce of hurt, rather the exciting feeling in his veins, he sat still in the corner of his desk as he watched you frantically. “baby i’ll always be more than enough, my name is jude bellingham,” he turned you down wanting to laugh at the glare you gave him. “There’s more to us than the almafi coast, don’t you forget it,” he stood on his point, knowing there was no way out for you.
he walked to you, hands in his pocket, “i just needed a warm bed to sleep with at night,” you said trying to hurt him and make him believe you were terrible, but he could see the lies behind your eyes… “the lies y/n… when will it stop and just admit you know you can't deceive me…” his chest brushed against your back, feeling his nose trace your ear down to the corner of your jaw.
“you don’t want to tell me its fate?” he felt you crumble, how you allowed him to hold and let him continue. “you don’t mean to tell me you aren't here because the universe put us in this exact moment?” he defied, referring to a small astrology talk you had when walking on the beach late at night.
“you’re just bluffing.”
“no you’re wrong…” he shook his head, turning you swiftly where he lifted your chin gently to face him. “you can try to forget and ignore me at all costs, just know i’m the only one here who know you. not just professionally but personally as well,” jude intimidated. yet you didn’t feel scared or frightened. you felt drawn to be closer and closer, because its the aura and affect he carried.
“this is wrong jude, what will they say! you're my boss… everyone is afraid of you…” you said softly, breathing deeply as your forehead itched closer. “they should be afraid of me especially if they have the nerve to speak about you,” he lifted your face once again, wrapping an arm firmly around your waist. “but when i'm with you… i’m the man who i was back in the almafi coast. i don’t have to be forced to be someone i’m not, i can be jude… the jude five year old me would be proud of…” jude continued, pressing a kiss on your cheek.
“jude…” you whimpered, hands gliding across his chest where you slowly drew up to his neck.
“i’m angry with you so angry… for leaving me… for hurting me… for allowing me to get to this point…” jude spoke, his brows drawn in angrily yet holding you so gently, shaking his head at every sentence. “i’m sorry…” you attempted but instead were silenced by a small ‘shh’ jude hummed.
“it can be scary i know it can, but we could have saved us from all this if we simply tried y/n… all i wanted was for us to try. you left me confused, used! you let me believe i was used by you because you left in the end. i was scared i had pushed you away,” jude spoke softly yet with a tone filled with remorse.
“i pushed myself away… my thoughts were consumed by past actions and beliefs jude! i did it with the intention to protect us from this! from the hurting you feel, felt! i can’t allow myself to get so attached to a person knowing the outcome it can have. we both don’t deserve that,” you humbled.
“we don’t darling, we don’t… but you're here with me… in my arms, what does that say?” you shrugged at him, feeling to pull away but the feeling of home in his arms was to much to overcome.
“it means that were known strangers, and it won't be easy to just work under the same building knowing what we did, what we felt. and i’ll do anything to prove to you that exclusivity and status have nothing to do with the future i picture you and me with. there is a happy ever after for us, can’t you feel it?” he placed your small hand against his fast-beating heart.
“yes,” you threw yourself at him, jude groaning as he devoured you as a whole. your kiss messy, not an ounce of sweetness, making up for the long european summer that held the distance you parted with. tasting you like it was his last meal, engraving your closed his in his mind knowing that no matter what, you were his.
“mr. bellingham? the orders from germany have just arrived, and we had the underground staff separate them-” a man's voice spoke as they barged in seeing the whole scene uncut, wide eyes and lips as he stuttered out a response. knowing he walked into a lion's den, and it would be hell to get back out. you pushed away from jude, who held a confused stare, to then glaring at his assistant.
“oh no…” you whimpered scaredily.
—--------------- 𝒿.𝒷 —---------------
#judey thoughts 5️⃣#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham blurb#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham one shot#jude bellingham fanfic#jude bellingham smut#football fanfic#footballer#football x reader#football imagine#football x y/n#football one shot
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❖ Piltover Winters (Jayce/Viktor Headcanons)
A/N: I realize I always come back to writing around xmas. Erm, anyway. Have you guys seen Savior Viktor??? Delicious. *I don’t actually know if it snows in PnZ but it’s December so let’s live a little.
❖ Viktor
If you're cold, chances are he's freezing too because of how cold he usually runs.
Will forget his scarf. Sometimes, in his work-induced haze, he also forgets that he's not dressed for the weather and walks out of the lab only to get blasted in the face by the sheer COLD, grumbling and sniffling as he retreats back inside. Hence, he appreciates the heater and the fireplace in his academy-funded apartment very much.
While he might not be the biggest fan of the winter chill, he’s amazed by snow since it never reaches the part of the Undercity where he grew up.
Give Viktor a cup of hot chocolate, and his eyes will light up. He won’t admit it, and very few know about it, but much like his love for sweetmilk, he is very much a fan of hot chocolate. However, he doesn’t opt for it too often because its sweetness will irritate his throat, so he takes it every once in a while. He’ll be in a good mood the whole day if he does get a cup, something that Jayce capitalizes on if only to see him smile.
This man can not get up in the mornings, preferring to burrow deeper into the blankets or closer to a heat source where it's warm and toasty. You’ll have to drag him out or coax him out with a cup of hot beverage.
His body does him no favors in this department. The ever-bearing cold makes his joints ache worse, so it’s safe to say that his leg does not like him very much.
Once he gets the back brace, the screws permanently etched onto his spine will hurt, especially in the deep of winter. He’s gotten used to it to a degree, but sometimes it renders him somewhat immobile. It is also hard to navigate through snow with a crutch. This is why you’ll almost never find him outside during the winter months, though that hasn’t changed much from the past. Even if he has to go outside for some godforsaken reason, he’ll make them short and snappy trips at best, or send Jayce, who would be more than happy to do so, in his place.
❖ Jayce
Snow is not his forte, considering how he nearly died in a blizzard as a child. But, it has grown on him slowly over time. Though, you won’t find him outside when the snowfall turns heavy.
He may not show it, but he loves the seasonal festivities. He fondly remembers hitting the attractions and festivals with Caitlyn back when they were both younger, and would sometimes do the same again, if only for the nostalgic factor.
The man of progress might be busy, but Jayce the present-giver works doubly hard. You may barely see him out of his lab, but he’ll make the time, sometimes out of thin air, to get everyone presents.
Coat? What is a coat? This guy’s a furnace, he’s fine (not really) but he will claim he’s fine if you ask. Will happily let anyone he's close to cling to him for his warmth, or laugh and give them his scarf so now they're like a two-scarf coat rack. Paints a rather funny picture to be bundled up in an abundance of scarves.
Probably has to participate in a lot of winter social events due to the council. Dutiful as he is, Jayce will attend those societal gatherings, but you bet he'd whine the next person's ear off by the time he's dragged to his mandatory 3rd dinner/gala or something similar along those lines. Sometimes, if he gets bored, he sneaks back to the lab when no one's noticing… until Heimerdinger pops up when he least expects it. “There's a time and place for innovation, my boy! But tonight's a night for the outdoors, don't you think?”
Will oftentimes be the first one up in the mornings because he knows he has a packed schedule and he'd better get up or else. When he doesn't get up due to it being a lazier day, he'll hog ALL the blankets, curling into a ball and going back for another snooze, much to your chagrin.
#Viktor x Reader x Jayce#Viktor x reader#Jayce x reader#viktor arcane#Jayce arcane#arcane viktor#arcane jayce#viktor#jayce talis#Arcane#Arcane imagines#Arcane reader insert#league of legends#Arcane fanfiction
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Change My Mind [6]
Pairing: BTS x reader
SUMMARY: As a make-up artist, you were expected to glamorize your clients with brushes and products that cost a week-worth of food, not to befriend them outside of work, let alone have them save you from dates yet here you are five years later as one of their closest confidants.
Being a stylist of the world's biggest boyband is no easy feat, someone is doing flips, someone can't stay still and one's asleep but its fine, you can work around their chaos but then one day, you find out they're all your soulmates, a whole different can of chaos you don't think you can handle.
Tags: Soulmates AU, Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Not Beta Read, Slow Build, Polyamory, Attempts at Humor
Words: 6.9k
If you weren't able to catch the author's note, update will be very slow due to my campus enrolling us to a government extracurricular that spans for three months so updates with be VERY slow until then. Sorry this one took long, had to remove one chunk out of this chapter so I could have it posted as soon as I could. Also ik the last chapter's ending was so rushed, I'll try to fix it once I get the time so for now, ignore that mess ;-;
EDIT: edited out the beginning scene, changed it kekeke
Please vote Jimin in Visa Choice in MAMA voting and push Namseok to the top 10 for Fan's Choice award! STREAM I'LL BE THERE
<<Prev || MASTERLIST || Next>>
________
You wouldn’t say it outloud but you quickly got used to the feeling of waking up next to Jimin.
The first day was jarring. Eyes opening to tufts of hair tickling your face and body waking up to the feeling of your arms thrown around his body flushed to your front, his hand holding yours from where it hangs. There’s a rumbling warmth pulsing through your body in intervals starting from your fingertips and down to your toes.
You remembered waking up feeling new and rejuvenated, as if your body had been dismantled down to its atoms with all its flaws and aches only to be reformed into a new, better form.
Waking up next to Jimin is the closest thing to experiencing heaven on earth. It was quiet and euphoric, comfortably warm, and you loved every second of it. Dare say, its quickly becoming one of your favorite things in the world.
Soulbond strain, that’s what the doctor had said. That's what caused the constant fatigue you and Jimin were feeling yesterday which eventually caused you both to pass out from exhaustion. Due to how ill-informed they are of both your marks, they weren't aware of how fragile your new bond was and how much touching should be involved for the first few days.
So now, you are bound to Jimin for a long while. The doctors had hypothesized that you both will be able to withstand not holding for an hour soon when he had accidentally let go of your hands in favor of taking food from Taehyung’s hands.
You hope it goes past an hour when the week finally ends, a day if you’re both fortunate enough. Being forced to rest while everyone around you moved and worked is frustrating, even Jimin was growing antsy from all the sleeping, eating and sitting you both were doing.
Today marks the last day you both will be confined to the hospital as they've finally cleaned up one of the spare rooms in the dorm so you could move in.
You were so glad you could finally eat something more nutritious than bland soup. It would be a talent to be able to cook a soup so tasteless it would even make a white person frown despite the numerous vegetables and meat on them.
Since Jungkook's Birthday, you found yourself more often than not staring at the ceiling after eating, dreaming about eating other food so intensely it's like you could taste them in your buds. Jimin teased, saying you were growing insane from the lack of flavor.
A few days have passed since you found out you were soulmates with your best friends but you still couldn’t wrap your head around it.
The thought that these five—possibly seven depending on Seokjin and Hoseok’s test results later today—down to earth, aphrodite-blessed men with even more beautiful traits were tethered to you is bizarre. The idea never fails to short-circuit your brain every time you think about it.
And it's hard not to, not when you wake up sleeping next to the peaceful face of South Korea’s IT boy—with his arms wrapped around you and his head nuzzled under your chin.
It's something you’re still trying to get used to as you’ve never dared to sleep while cuddling with your friends, no matter how tired you might be. It was far too intimate of an act, reserved for those who are romantically involved and for someone with feelings as fickle as yours back then, it was inappropriate.
Not that it mattered much now but it's still difficult to be comfortable with the domesticity of it all.
What was once perceived as platonic now felt anything but.
Save for Taehyung and Seokjin, everyone else has continued working, although you had advised a weary looking Hoseok to take a break, he insisted that he's fine whilst practically dragging himself out of the room. Namjoon had assured you that he'll watch over his hyung but you had threatened Yoongi for extra measures.
Speaking of work, your friends have been blowing up your phone since Jungkook's birthday, asking why they were required to sign a whole different NDA and you told them about your soulmates.
All of them reacted positively, Minhyuk had even pleaded to hear about how you discovered and had asked to be informed of all the latest happenings, from the courting, dates, and even the bedroom—something you had promised to hit him for once you're back to work.
But for now, you were stuck with a foot out of the bathroom and body turned to the opposite with an arm stretched far out to hold Jimin's hand as he finished his business.
So far, there's been no accidental flashing, to which you've been thankful for. The whole ordeal is already awkward as it is with only having to hear each other pee.
Jimin couldn’t even jokingly flirt with you the whole time, far too mortified with the idea of both parties being able to hear the stream of piss to even bother coming up with jokes to lighten up the situation, nor could you dare look into his eyes after the first few times you both had to go through this. You had refrained from eating too much in fear of having to shit during the week but you knew it would eventually happen.
Especially since you both have been greenlit to eat take outs and Seokjin had generously offered to buy you both food—bless that wonderful, handsome man—and dragged Taehyung out with him.
You had been hesitant to make a few demands at first because do you even deserve the kindness Seokjin is showing you after hurting him for years? But the man proved himself devoted once more when he listed down the food you’ve been craving desperately for without hearing it from your lips.
(Tae had joked that maybe it's the soulmate mark manifesting a little late and Jimin elbowed him for that.)
You didn’t even get to tell him not to bother when he began to loudly chant gibberish as he pulled Taehyung out of the room with him.
After all the babying and princess treatment you've been receiving in the short time of knowing you were soulmates, it's hard not to feel frustrated having your best friends become your beck and call when they—save for Yoongi, bless that man for keeping his distance—hadn't been doing so for the past few years.
It was somewhat pressuring that you could ask Jungkook to brush his teeth and immediately drink orange juice and he'd do it without question, if not gargling the juice for a little while longer just because you asked him to do it.
From living alone and getting used to doing things by yourself, to suddenly having five people who'd follow your whims almost blindly, was overwhelming and slowly becoming more annoying than it is helpful.
If it wasn't for the guilt from getting irritated, you would've blown up on the first day when most of your soulmates had refused to let you stand up and walk around the room in fear of having you collapse.
Sure you had passed out from the soulbond strain but that same bond rendered you invulnerable to most things, I’m not about to die walking around the room with Jimin, Yoongs.
You couldn't fault Jungkook and Tae for wanting to baby you. Jungkook never had someone to pamper and spoil, and Taehyung only had Jungkook; Even then, it wasn't in a romantic way and Jungkook was also being taken care of by the others so he didn't need to do much. His ex and him didn't last long enough for when BTS’ fame had skyrocketed and he had more money than he could ever spend in his life and is quickly running out of things to spend it on.
Still, it was hard to take all the coddling. It was better when they treated you with the distance platonic relationships had granted you.
Today, you’re huddled next to Jimin as you both scrolled on social media with both your bare legs thrown over his.
There's been comments left on your instagram page asking for Jimin's health and you decided to reply to one comment to say that he's fine and recovering. You and him had been pardoned from work for a week, Taehyung had been granted some leniency and he used it to visit you both in the hospital once it was revealed that his soulmark had been affected by Jimins.
Silencing the app, you move to twitter when the door suddenly opens and in comes Seokjin holding up two plastic bags of takeout, flexing them as if they were golden medals and you sit up.
“Your handsome savior has arrived with fries and actually good food!”
“Hi noona!” Taehyung greets as he steps out of Jin's shadow.
“Jin you're actually the most good looking man I've ever seen in this forsaken planet, did you get me cheese and sour cream flav—”
“Of course I did,” He scoffed, putting down two paper bags and one drink carrier on your bedside table before placing the rest on the table near the bathroom door. “Who do you think I am?!”
“He almost ordered it all in cheese until I reminded him that you wanted sour cream too, noona.” Taehyung chimes in with a grin as he closes the door, a hand hidden behind his back while he holds a covered cup in the other.
Seokjin snapped his head towards him with an indignant ‘Ya!’, to which Tae only giggled at.
“You bought that heinous, god awful sweet tea with my money! How could you do this to me?!”
“I offered to pay but you—”
“WITH MY MONEY!”
Everyone only laughed and Jin trudged over with Jimin’s lunch in hand, offering it with an outreached arm and he took it. At least, he tried to. Jin suddenly raised his hand over his head. You watched as Jin continuously teased Jimin whose reach is limited due to the need to be holding your hand.
Jimin then finally got a grip on the plastic bag’s bottom and suddenly, their fishing game became a tug of war.
“Wait wait wait! You're going to tear it! It's going to spill!”
“Just fucking give it to me, hyung!” Jimin grunt, tugging one last time and the side of the bag rips, immediately Jin lets go.
“Why would you pull that hard?!”
Jimin ignored him in favor of pulling out his container, which he realized is overwhelmingly little compared to your three packages.
“Hyung!” He screams with his bottom lip jut out, dragging out the word. “How come I only have one food package? I'm also a patient, you know?!”
“You didn't request anything.” Jin says nonchalantly, shrugging.
“We've been together for years hyung! You should've known what I wanted like you did noona! This is blatant favoritism hyung!”
Seokjin ignored him, handing you a large bowl of mixed flavored fries, a large boba tea, and a plastic container where an aroma of caramelized fried chicken is leaking out of it the moment it leaves the paper bag. Next to you, Jimin scoffed, incredulous as he crossed his arms.
“She gets fried chicken, fries and boba but I only get Jajangmyeon?!”
Once again, he ignored the younger man, rolling his eyes as Taehyung bounds up to his disgruntled best friend to reveal the half occupied half empty paper beverage carrier hidden behind his back, grinning widely as Jimin’s face morphs into disbelieving betrayal.
“Wow, so this is how we do things now, huh? I can’t believe you’d do this to me when I’m a patient!”
“I’m so sorry, you poor poor thing.” Taehyung pouts as he offers out the food and Jimin spared no time in swiping the bag from him.
With their bicker finally coming to an end and Taehyung comfortably sitting crossed legs at the foot of you and Jimin’s bed, you turned to your food.
After eating nothing but bland, runny soup since the night at Jungkook’s birthday, tasting the cheddar almost made you tear up. You had taken advantage of the privilege of tasting far too long, being able to finally ingest something else felt euphoric, as if you were given the chance to walk through the garden of eden.
Exaggerated much but it's the only way you could explain the feeling.
Wasting no more time, you dug into the french fries bowl.
You hear Seokjin whisper something underneath his breath, sounding incredulous. You watched as he crossed over to Taehyung and snatched his cup, ignoring the younger man’s indignant yelp and took a sip.
Instantly, the mixed taste of cheddar and sour cream was washed away by the familiar taste of Taehyung’s heinous tea preference of illegal amounts of tea and milk. The harsh difference of the three flavors along with the texture of fries gliding on your tongue makes you gag. Your soulmates react, Jimin placing his food down to place his cupped hands under you as if trying to catch your puke while Tae flinches, about to reach over until he sees his brother already positioned to help you and turns to fetch you a glass of water instead.
“You ate too fast noona, try to chew it first.”
“You ate too fast noona, try to chew it first.” You mimic in a tone far too high to be his and Jimin rolled his eyes.
“Why are you being so annoying today?”
“I’m sorry I’m getting cranky after someone disrupted me eating—” Your words abruptly end as Jin suddenly surged in to hug you.
You look at Taehyung who’s staring longingly at his tea still in Jin’s grasp behind you before turning to a similarly perplexed Jimin mid-bite of his tteokbokki. Raising an eyebrow at him, he responds with a shrug before continuing to stuff food into his mouth.
But as you rested both hands on his shoulders, Jin suddenly sniffled.
“Jin?”
Alert, you gently push him off and your eyes meet with his misty pairs, matched with a teary smile stretching plush red lips. Your heart leapt to your throat as both his hands cupped your cheeks and kissed your forehead in under a second. But instead of getting a seizure or being struck with an overwhelming amount of pain, nothing happened.
Instead a warm feeling, akin to what the rest of your soulmates caused you, wrapped around you like a thick blanket and you froze.
Then, Jin stands with an excited yip and excused himself out of the room, leaving you and the others confused.
What?
You didn't need to look at Jimin or Tae to know they all had huge question marks hanging over their heads as they stared at where they last saw their hyung disappear out of the room.
Why didn't your body react from having someone kiss your forehead while your bonds were still unsettled? From what you've read, there's always a chance of it happening, yet even if your relationship with him stretched over years, there shouldn't be any reason why he's not causing you and Jimin pain.
Unless he's also a soulmate.
Immediately you were reminded of the time he had carried you and wondered why no one ever questioned why nothing fatal had happened when he had done that in the DFA. Even if it had everyone in a flurry of panic, someone should've noticed and questioned it right? Yoongi should have at least.
There was also that one time Hoseok had held your hand in the car, it was brief but it should've done something still with a Nexus bond as complicated and huge as yours. Yet like with Seokjin, nothing happened.
“What did I just watch?” Taehyung began and you wish you had the answer. “Did I just witness my soulmate get stolen by Seokjin hyung?”
“No,” Jimin says, eyes thoughtful as he looks at you before turning to the bathroom door. “I think we just discovered that hyung is also tethered to her.”
Both your head snapped to the man next to you.
In the small amount of time you stared at your soulmate, the pieces began to click as the cogs in your mind whirs with all the possibilities before it took you back to the moment the horrendous taste of Taehyung's tea violated your tongue. Your mouth falls into an ‘o’.
“Shared Tastebuds.” You mutter.
Jimin opens his mouth to ask you to elaborate when Seokjin reenters with a doctor following behind him, red faced but the blinding wide smile he wore was enough to make you forget he was crying not a second before. The doctor next to him looked ecstatic, eyes a little crazy at the newfound discovery.
“Congratulations, it seems that also Mr. Kim here is a part of your Nexus bond!” He says a little cheerily as he hugs the clipboard close to his chest. “It would do you all well to inform the rest of the group of this finding. From a professional standpoint, I do think that Mr. Jung has a huge chance of also being a part of your Nexus.”
To say you never had doubts that the other two members were a part of your nexus would be a lie, you had hoped they were but the absence of mark manifestation symptoms made it hard to believe they’ll be one of your soulmates.
Who knew all it took to find out if you and Jin were connected was eating while in the presence of each other? If you hadn’t fainted from the lack of food and the Soulbond strain, would you have found out about it earlier?
Was he the reason you’d taste the savory taste of a well-seasoned grilled meat or the sweet fizzling taste of a soda late at night yesterday?
Or is the bond you both have will allow for long distance sense sharing? There are two types of Shared Tastebuds after all.
“The results are due today right?” Jimin asks and the doctor turns to his watch.
“This afternoon I'm sure just before you both are discharged. But,” He turns to Jin. “For now I'll be taking Mr. Kim with me to register his soulbond and involvement in your Nexus.”
When they left again, the three of you remained unmoving, stunned.
It must be Jimin’s touch that had kept you calm throughout the revelation because you didn’t know how to react. There’s no doubt joy in the hurricane of emotions swirling in your chest, as well as the pacifying effect from both your and Jimin’s touch overwhelming the rising stress and conflict at the back of your head, forcing and pushing them back into the shadows.
You knew you should be stressing over the possibilities of having seven soulmates and how you’d divide your time to be able to equally spend time with everyone, it was already difficult having five these past few days. More often than not, you found yourself suffering a headache caused by the constant noise and overwhelming sensations each individual soulmarks gave you.
From the constant sounds of Namjoon’s heartbeat at the back of your head, and Jimin’s touch making your skin thrum, even the Amoneuron in your blood is having a hard time keeping you away from soulbond hyperactivity.
Someone’s phone erupted into a shrill scream, it was Taehyung’s. Picking it up, he automatically puts it on speaker and holds the end of the phone close to his mouth.
“Is it true? Please tell me it’s not true! I’m already competing with most of my hyungs for noona’s time!”
“This isn’t a competition, gguk.” Yoongi drawled in the background. “Didn’t we already establish that? No fighting for her hear—”
“What soulmark do they have?!”
“Manager Sejin is already on the way with a lawyer to handle the legal side of things, how are you guys doing right now? Is noona good?” Namjoon asks, sounding closer to the mic.
“She didn't faint if that's what you're asking about. If anything,” Taehyung turns to you. “She looks a little out of it.”
“How did it happen? Is it the test? Is it out already?” Hoseok's voice came through, nervous.
“Yeah we'll deliver it to you later also, remember hyung complaining about tasting something weird? Apparently he was tasting the hospital special soup—”
_______
On your dismissal, the doctor had handed the eldest their test results. Seokjin had thrown him out since he already knew what it'll entail but held on protectively on Hoseok's envelope.
Jimin had proposed a small celebration for the mark's manifestation for everyone, nothing too grand, just a few take outs appropriate for tomorrow’s dinner—because Jungkook and Tae had requested pancakes and waffles for whatever reason—and a small cake.
With five—not counting Jimin as he insisted that you both sit the activity out and Hoseok who visited his sister but promised to return the next day to read his result at dinner—men at your disposal, boxing up and moving your items into their dorm was easy, even if Yoongi has noticeably slowed down the stairs carrying the same one box he’s picked up since earlier; not that you’d call him out on it but you knew Seokjin and Jimin would to do it instead.
If it wasn't for Jungkook's eagerness to have you move in, it would have taken you all longer than you had today.
It was surreal seeing the items in your home slowly decrease, the mass on your shelves and all the personality of every room disappear with every box filled. You had been staying in the same apartment since you were 21, to have its familiar sights and spots be slowly stripped off of its glow felt sadder than you thought it would be.
BigHit had requested your company friends do all the packing while you were at the hospital, it wasn't forced but they acted like it was anyway. They (read: Minhyuk and Nabi) had jokingly complained about being tasked with doing things your soulmates should’ve been doing, Minhyuk going as far as threatening to sneak off something into one of the boxes and you feared for your life for what that something might entail.
You offered to buy them anything they want the next time you all visit the mall in exchange for their full cooperation and Minhyuk had vowed to run your bank dry with a sly grin.
“It's not like you’d even need them anymore when you’ve got the world’s biggest boyband as your soulmates, might as well spend your hard earned money on important things; friends, especially me though.”
You wouldn't deny the fact that you tried dating Guwon with the hopes of living lavishly without lifting a finger but the world would have to bathe in fire and water before you'd let them buy you expensive things outside of food; that you accept because you'd be able to taste and experience delicious dishes. Not to mention, it's practical.
Having your furniture moved out as well was out of the question after an hour of argument with Jimin and Jin who insisted on having you buy new decorations, except for the books, trinkets, and plethora of BTS collection you were given by the members themselves every comeback.
You argued that you didn’t need them to buy new furniture when you already have working ones.
But that argument was easily disproved when the maknaes (plus Namjoon because, hyung you’re big, we need to weight test it!) had jumped into your bed and the frames creaked and trembled.
He was right, as much as it pains you to accept it.
But just because he's right doesn't mean you agree with him.
In the end, with one against eventually all of them, you were due for furniture shopping with Jimin, Yoongi and Namjoon the next day. Today though, you were bunking with Jimin due to the need for constant skinship and the lack of bed in your new room.
You spent the better half of the afternoon unboxing and filling your closet with your items which barely filled two shelves out of six that were bolted onto the wall of the small well-lit room.
“Noona, your closet is a bit… barren.”
“The closets are just huge, I have plenty.”
“I’m concerned that you think this is plenty.” He says, thumbing the material of your cream cardigan as a grin grows on his lips. “I think I saw a few cute clothes online that would fit you.”
“Don’t.”
“Can’t do much about it now, they’re already in transit.”
After finding out your and Jin’s soulmark, you had thought deciding what you ate for dinner until the bond settled would be a hassle or until you both learn how to disable it. But Jin had simply agreed on your choices that night with a shrug of his shoulder with that soft smile on his lips.
And that amount of trust in whatever you’ll pick scares you in ways you never thought it would.
It's just a simple decision, one would say, but the ugly voices at the back of your head wondered if you even deserve this amount of consideration from him when you hadn’t noticed his lingering feelings for you for years.
But it seems like that fact has long been swept under the rug when the maknaes bounded up to you with mischief in their eyes.
Upon the realization that their Jin hyung would agree to almost anything you’d eat for a while, Jungkook and Taehyung wasted no second running up to you to propose the idea of ordering you a strawberry ice cream for dessert, claiming it was the only way to test their hyung’s love for her.
“You see noona, if hyung really loves you like he said he does, he would suck it up like the man he is.” Jungkook had reasoned to you with Taehyung nodding behind him and Jimin grinning mischievously next to you.
Fortunately for Jin, you don’t think forcing him to taste strawberry flavored things on the day he found out he wasn’t untethered would be a good decision despite the loud voice at the back of your head goading you to follow through their plan for fun.
But you promised the maknaes that you’ll do it someday.
Dinner was surprisingly uneventful with a few talks about the schedule changes and the rumors Jungkook had read and heard from his small friend group outside his brothers. If it wasn’t for the soft glow of gold at the edge of your vision from where your foot is resting on top of Jimin’s under the table and the faint outline of the red string of fate stretching across to Yoongi’s right pinkie, you would’ve tricked your brain into thinking it was a normal dinner with your friends.
With the words streaming out of Jungkook’s mouth, Tae and Jimin’s additional information and the scandalous gasp and widened eyes around the table once the pieces began to form a picture, you almost thought it was an average weekly dinner with your bosses.
But soon enough, plates are taken into the kitchen and Jimin is already pulling you up to your room, saying how he wants to take a shower and that you should take your toiletries.
Something you had dreaded since you heard the doctor had sentenced you to be in constant skinship with Jimin.
Why are you even nervous?! You had seen him and his brothers in their boxers from being one of their make up artists yet your heart had been thudding loudly in your ears the moment you had entered his room with your travel bag in hand.
Turns out, there was a truth in the saying “Ignorance is bliss” in the fact that knowing something could alter the way you think and perceive even the smallest of actions. In your case, knowing Jimin's your soulmate while facing the dilemma of showering together had you completely fucked up.
On the verge of a breakdown, half a foot on the ledge and the other hanging over the fall.
You had swam in public pools with him before but it was always with the presence of others, to be alone in a small room in nothing but your undies while maintaining skinship with your soulmate—
Isn't that a bit too intimate?
Will you even survive?
To stand half naked in a minimal space alone with Jimin, your heart might just collapse.
Seeing him in his underwear shouldn't faze you as much as it should. He and the others has stripped in front of you in a haste of changing into the next costume for the next performance but in the minimal space of his bathroom where you both are secluded away from the other dwellers of the building and he's already topless and is now unbuttoning and sliding the zippers of his jorts, the mass in your throat kept on thickening with the tension in the air.
Your eyes roamed the soft, flatness of his stomach; from up his lightly freckled bare chest and down to the thin trail of hair down his abdomen. The prominent bones of his adonis belt had your throat drying up.
Seeing him topless shouldn't affect you the way it should yet you found yourself heating up at the sight of them.
When he begins to remove his pants, you force yourself to look away, cheeks burning hot as you thumb the top buttons of your—Taehyung’s—polo before beginning to undo them all with your heart thudding loudly in your ears.
The string tied to your finger lights up in a rhythmic beat, persistent and hurried. Wrapping your fingers around it, Yoongi's loud concern immediately washes over your body. You respond to him by pushing down reassurance down the lane and the thread dulls from one side.
“Did hyung contact you?”
You turn to Jimin, already stripped down to his boxers.
God is really testing you today, putting a handsome man in his underwear in front of you and tempting you to let your gaze fall down for a glimpse of his thick muscled thighs you always saw through the fabric of his skinny jeans.
“Ye-yeah, nothing to worry about though. Give me your foot, I need to remove my shirt.”
Obediently, he puts his foot forward and you step on it before making quick work of your shirt. You feel his burning gaze roam your skin and you shiver from its intensity.
By the time you had your pants pooling on the floor alongside his, your heart is thudding uncontrollably in a way that might concern Namjoon at how fast it's going.
Why is the calming effect of Jimin's touch absent when you need it?
“Ready to go?”
You almost jumped at how hoarse his voice had gotten but recovered quickly and nodded, stepping first into the shower and twisting the valve towards the hotter temperature. Jimin hissed the moment the water touched his skin, breaking the stifling tension for a moment.
“How are your skin not burning off?! It's so hot!”
You rolled your eyes. “You're being dramatic, it's not that hot.”
“It is! The mirror is literally steaming!” He exclaimed, pointing at the long horizontal mirror above the sink which is indeed, fogging up.
Jimin then leaned over, his naked chest touching your back. Goosebumps prickled your skin and you barely stopped the urge to shiver as he manipulated the valve until he was satisfied with the temperature. When he steps back, you finally let out the breath you didn't realize you were holding.
Hearing your exhale, he laughed lightheartedly. The fucker did it on purpose.
Trying to ignore the thumps of your racing heart, you busied yourself with the task of washing your hair. You reached for the shampoo bottle and popped open the cap, body still facing the wall.
“Noona.”
You looked over your shoulder and Jimin was scratching the back of his head sheepishly.
“Can I wash your hair for you?” He shyly asks, his sly attitude from earlier nonexistent. “I've never done that with someone else before. I-I’ve always wanted to do that now and now that we're soulmates, I was–I was wondering if maybe I–we could—”
“Not even with that girl you’ve dated before?”
He shook his head. “We were too busy to do something like that, noona. Idol lives and all that. It's one of the reasons why we broke up.”
“She was pretty nice though.”
His lips quirks up. “Don’t get jealous noona, you’re my soulmate after all.”
You hit his shoulder and he brought his arms up to shield himself, giggling. “Do you want to wash each other’s hair or not?!”
Despite your agreement, you were beyond nervous as you handed him the shampoo and turned around to shut the shower off. The string on your finger thrummed once more, still concerned as your heart leapt up to your throat when Jimin's fingers began to thread and scrape his nails against your scalp.
A thrill of pleasure shoots down your spine and you hold back the urge to mewl as he begins to put more pressure on his motions.
It stayed like that for a while and you reveled in the pure domesticity of it all.
When Jimin retracts his hands, you reach for his shampoo and order him to turn around.
“What if I don't want to?” He challenges with a mischievous smirk.
“If it gets in your eyes, it's your fault.”
He giggled and shrunk down to your height, to which you hit his shoulder for and he laughed, standing back up.
“Can you even reach the top of my head like this?”
“Fine but don't complain about your knees hurting, you wanted this.” You jokingly say as he bends his knees once more, a playful lilt in his eyes.
Once you lathered the shampoo enough, you began.
You’ve seen multiple couples on screen shower together and had once wondered how it’d felt having someone to help reach the spots you couldn’t as well as do those domestic things such as brushing your teeth together and just washing each other in general. The actors always made them natural and romantic, with the soft lighting bouncing off their skin and their laughter ringing in the small space.
But showering with Jimin is anything you’ve ever thought of.
Against the other members, Jimin is easily dwarfed by them, matched with the constant jokes about his height, it's easy to forget that the man is still taller than the average man. He towered over you, his eyes intense and lit with a playful sultriness. His lips twisted into a mischievous smirk as he bent his knees low enough where you could touch the top of his head without risking a stiff neck or standing on your tiptoes.
He’s peering up at you yet you feel smaller under his gaze.
He had always done this, getting into your face while you retouched his makeup. In a way, it was nice that you’re slowly regaining the normalcy
But it's not appreciated when he’s doing it when you’re already fighting demons trying so hard not to ogle at his body and explode from how flustered you are.
“Are you seriously getting flushed now noona? We’ve done this plenty of times already, why now?”
Is he seriously asking you that?
He laughed. Your thoughts must’ve reflected on your face.
“Didn’t know you’d be affected by something as normal as this. Don’t you see us naked at least every other day?” He asks with a quirk to his eyebrow and you narrowed your eyes further at him.
“You know damn well why,” You say, slapping his shoulder before turning to open the shower once more. Laughing when the water burst open above him, cutting him off from replying.
With the tension dissolving with the shampoo on his hair, a playful grin replaced the coy smirk and with his newly washed hair, he grabbed your arms in an iron grip and began to shake his head at you, flicking water from his hair and onto you.
When he was done, he then pulled you into the stream with a bubbling laugh as he watched the shampoo suds dissolve with the water. But with both your arms pinned in place, you weren't able to wipe your eyes and had them closed the moment he had you under the shower head.
“I'm—I’m going to put chili in your fucking water, I can't see!”
With sorrys in between fits of giggles, Jimin reached up to wipe your face for you when he realized this.
Shower with Jimin sailed smoothly from that point on. After his teasing, he made no more attempts to fluster you, even when he was scrubbing your back a little longer than it should've taken.
He had, however, made comments on how many steps there are for you to shower.
“Why do you need to shampoo twice, use soap AND body wash? It’s not like you’d ever get sick anymore when I’m here.”
You just rolled your eyes and told him to leave if he’s going to complain about your routine. Eventually though, you speed through your routine due to him whining about how he’s starting to feel cold, lightheaded—to which he dramatized by leaning his hurting head on your shoulder—, and is suddenly sleepy.
Changing into your pajamas was a little hard as you attempted to do it all under the safety of a towel while also maintaining skinship with Jimin every other ten seconds who's also doing the same.
You managed somehow and soon enough, you both situated yourselves into the bed, with your legs thrown over his and backreading the bangtan gc that had awakened the moment Jimin had his phone.
Surprisingly, even Jungkook was active.
[21:24] Mimi: It's so weird tae [21:24] Mimi: I’ve never seen someone use soap AND body wash THEN washes their hair t w i c e [21:24] Hoba: I do that… [21:25] Mimi: That’s expected hyung, you’re a neat freak. [21:25] You: Why are you so weird about me being clean?! [21:25] You: IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU BEING AN IDOL I BET YOU'D USE THOSE 11-IN-1 SHAMPOOS [21:26] Mimi: ITS PSYCHOPATH BEHAVIOR [21:26] Mimi: also EXCUSE YOU??? [21:26] Jinnie: hoba I think he just called you a psychopath [21:26] Hoba: 🙁 [21:27] Ggukie: NOW YOU MADE HYUNG SAD [21:27] Hoba: 🙁 [21:27] Hoba: you think im weird jimin-ah?🥺 [21:27] Yoongs: why is this even a conversation [21:27] Joonie: Jimin just because you don’t do it, doesn’t mean it's unorthodox. [21:28] Minnie: you’re one of them, are you hyung?! [21:28] Tete: I still cant believe Jimin just showered with noona… [21:28] Tete: why are we breezing through that information? [21:28] Jinnie: ok so lets not talk about that [21:29] Jinnie: this pretty prince is going to cook tomorrow's breakfast, what does the group's prettiest want?
Reading his message felt like cold water dousing you awake and you’re suddenly attacked by a wave of guilt.
Is it okay for you to even make demands like this? Do you even deserve being Seokjin’s dearest?
“Ask him for waffles, I'm craving for them.” Jimin says, his voice slicing through your thoughts and you turn back to your phone.
[21:29] Ggukie: ask me too hyung! [21:29] Jinnie: fine I’ll bite [21:29] Jinnie: what do you want brat? [21:30] Ggukie: noona’s love :DD
You watched as Jin’s profile pic popped up and came down multiple times, and each time they do, your and Jimin’s giggles multiply.
[21:32] Jinnie: I’m blocking you [21:32] Joonie: I should have you kicked out for that stupid, corny ass joke oh my god [21:32] Yoongs: that activated my fight or flight [21:32] Yoongs: don’t do that again [21:32] Ggukie: hyung ask me again [21:32] Ggukie: promise I’ll respond properly this time :] [21:33] Jinnie: Y/N? [21:33] Ggukie: HYUNG [21:33] Minnie: she says she wants waffles :> [21:33] Jinnie: I don’t believe anything that comes out of your mouth, Park Jimin [21:34] Minnie: D: [21:34] You: I want scrambled eggs and pancakes :D
“Get out of my room if you're going to betray me like this.”
“You shouldn’t have played around earlier then.”
“You shouldn’t have played around earlier then. Give me that!” You stretch your arm away from him but Jimin was faster, managing to pluck your phone from your grasp and moving to place it on his side of the floor.
Without hesitation, you launched yourself at his hand making him yelp before it dissolved into giggles when you managed to catch him and had curled up around his arm, fingers attempting to pry him away from your phone.
It was how Tae had found you both in and immediately lept in, taking your side the moment he had seen you and Jimin tussled for your phone.
With Tae’s help, you were able to take back your phone only to see that it had locked itself from the many times the screen had picked up on both you and Jimin’s palms and had typed in the wrong combination after the other. For that, you slapped his arm.
“What did I do wrong?! It’s not my fault the stupid phone couldn’t differentiate between palm and fingers!”
“If I wasn’t required to touch you, I’d have you kicked out of this room.”
Jimin pushed himself up, face incredulous. “This is literally my room.”
“Next week you should sleep in my room instead, noona. I’d love to have you there.” Taehyung says, pulling you to his chest and side-eyeing his friend. “I wouldn’t be as mean as Jiminie.”
“Why am I getting disrespected in my own room? Is it gang up on Jimin day?!”
“When is it not gang up on Jimin day?”
“Why you—GET OUT OF MY ROOM.”
TAGLIST: @wildestdreamsblog @canarystwin @prettywheenicry @jmnscutie @sassy-snassy @misuguru @11thenightwemet11 @yoongibaybee @rinkud @bri602 @igetcarriedawaywithyou @marvel-potter-1d-korea @comingupwithacoolnameishard @sooha-neul @juju-227592 @coffeewanderer @x-uno @diamonddia-mond @eggsysstuff @dearmyfavoritepeople-bts @sld88 @katsukis1wife
#bts x reader#bts x fem!reader#bts x reader poly#bts x y/n#bts x you#kim namjoon x reader#kim seokjin x reader#min yoongi x reader#jung hoseok x reader#park jimin x reader#kim taehyung x reader#jeon jungkook x reader#namjoon x reader#seokjin x reader#yoongi x reader#hoseok x reader#jimin x reader#jungkook x reader
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bitter coffees | myg
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summary. the last person you expect at your door at 4 am is yoongi. but his presence is like a blanket of comfort that helps soothe your aching heart.
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pairing: yoongi x reader
genre: angst, fluff if you squint
word count: 1.7k
content: yoongi shows up at reader's door when they're stressed about exams / reader has a small breakdown that yoongi helps them through / they end up falling asleep together
warnings: none
a/n: a little something i wrote at like midnight to cope with exams while listening to 'sweet' by cigarettes after sex 😪. this will be apart of a drabble series im working on, but this is NOT the first drabble in terms of the chronological order of the story
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main masterlist
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You bring the mug to your lips, taking a sip of the dark coffee.
You have never liked black coffee, always opting for sweeter drinks like caramel and chai lattes. But nowadays, the bitter liquid is the only thing that keeps you awake and somewhat energized.
Still, every sip is an effort and you can't help but grimace at the aftertaste.
You put the mug back onto the wooden floor, begging yourself to remember not to spill it. You had chosen to move all of your books and notes to the floor after getting tired of your cramped desk, and the last thing you needed was for the drink to ruin your only hope of getting a passing grade on your exam.
You should have started studying earlier. Usually, you are on top of all assignments and tests, wanting to get them over with. But lately, the presence of a certain someone has started messing with your schedule.
You never expected to get this close to your neighbour who lived 3 doors down, especially given your first encounter which was far from pleasant.
You always thought Yoongi was a little strange, but these past few months had been proving otherwise.
You don't regret the time you spent with him. You cherish the bottles of wine you shared and the nights you spent binging movies while you tried to ignore the fact that his knee was slightly pressed against yours.
You just wish you had spent a bit more time studying and less time admiring the way his eyes crinkled into crescent moons when he laughed.
You rub your temples, gently trying to ease the migraine that has started brewing. Your limbs ache terribly and you have never craved the warmth of your blankets more.
Tears brim your eyes, which worsen the pain in your head as you furrow your eyebrows to try to blink them away, which in turn makes you want to cry even more.
Giving up on reading over your notes for the third time, you lean your head against the side of your bed, still trying to blink away your tears even as your bottom lip quivers and the lump in your throat gets bigger.
Buzz.
Your half-lidded eyes glance at your phone on the floor which has now lit up with a single notification.
Yoongiee: open the door if your not asleep alr
A beat of silence passes as you process the text. Have you officially lost it and started to hallucinate Yoongi showing up at your dorm?
Your phone buzzes again and you notice the time. 4:37 am.
Letting out a defeated sigh, you use all of your remaining strength to push yourself up onto your feet. You don't bother to try to keep your eyes fully open, letting them obscure half of your vision as your slippers pad through the dimly lit house.
The door creaks loudly and you visibly cringe, grateful that both of your roommates weren't home to complain about being woken up.
In front of you, Yoongi greets you with a small wave and a smile on his face which immediately turns into an expression of concern as he takes you in.
"Are you okay?"
You want the world to swallow you up. Yoongi seeing you in such a state is something you never thought would happen. But here he was, a phone in one hand and a bag on his shoulder.
"What are you doing here? It's late."
Your words are dry on your tongue and your throat hurts to speak. Your voice is stiffer than usual, but you can't help it.
"I couldn't sleep and figured you couldn't either since you were active like twenty minutes ago. I can leave if you want, I don't- I really don't mind."
He brings his hands up, palms facing you in a form of reassurance. You shake your head.
"I- No, it's fine. I don't mind."
And again, you let yourself be distracted by his presence. You don't know why, but your heart refuses to say 'no' to him even though your brain is screaming at you to get a grip.
You open the door wider and let him in. His eyes scan the room as he adjusts to the darkness.
You walk to your bedroom and switch on the main light instead of relying on your small lamp as he slips out of his sneakers
You aren't exactly being welcoming to him, but again you don't have it in you to care as much as you usually would.
You settle back onto the floor and take another swig of your coffee. Yoongi enters the room a few seconds later, quirking an eyebrow at your position on the floor.
"Don't ask," you mumble with a smile and he chuckles as he places his bag at the foot of your bed.
You expect him to crawl into your bed, but instead, he settles down beside you. He takes out a leather notebook and places it on his lap as he twirls a pencil between his fingers.
Your attention returns to the endless amounts of notes in front of you, and you let out a defeated sigh.
Normally, you would be screaming at the lack of words exchanged between you both. But the silence is comforting, and the sound of his pencil against the paper is oddly satisfying to listen to.
You don't notice how your head falls onto his shoulder and you feel him freeze for a second before returning to whatever he had been doing.
You want to let your eyes flutter shut, but anxiety bubbles in your chest with every moment that passes that you don't spend studying, and it makes the lump in your throat return.
"You sure you're okay?"
You let out a shaky breath that you hadn't even realized you were holding, and the tears you had desperately tried to push back threatened to fall.
"Yeah."
You cringe at how your voice cracks, unable to keep your emotions at bay any longer. Salty tears fall down your cheeks, and you feel Yoongi's head turn in an attempt to look at you and you bring up your hands to cover your face.
Yoongi brings his body to face your side. One of his hands gently touches yours while his other works at wiping away the tears spilling down your cheeks. For a second, he pulls away his hand to move away the array of things surrounding you before settling back against yours.
"Hey- what's wrong? Did something happen?"
You shake your head weakly, your fingers playing at the hem of your graphic tee as you chew on your cheek.
"I- I have this stupid fucking exam tomorrow and I don't- I don't know shit and no matter how long I spend studying I just can't- it won't go into my head and I only started studying today because I was being fucking dumb."
You hate how your words are interrupted by broken hiccups and how pathetic your voice is. But Yoongi listens with caring eyes and it eases some of the embarrassment.
"You're not stupid or dumb, ___. You can't always be perfect, and I know this exam matters, but it is not worth more than you."
Yoongi squeezes your hand and gently begins to move his thumb across your skin.
"If you need a break, take one, even if it means you don't get to spend that time studying. I know you'll be fine. You'll do great even if you don't study at all."
Your eyes meet his and you don't know what possesses you, but you find yourself wrapping your hands around Yoongi's neck. He freezes and you faintly hear his breath hitch. But before you can move back he adjusts his legs and pulls you in closer.
You end up settling between his legs and you let out a small sob, which you blame him for.
Why was he so fucking sweet? No one has said anything like that to you before, and it helps ease some of the weight on your shoulders even though it brings more tears to your eyes.
His hands are warm and secure around you. Your face lies against the soft, grey fabric of his hoodie and you make a mental note to wash for him in case your wet mascara stains it.
"I'm just so fucking tired, Yoongi."
You don't know it, but Yoongi's heart breaks at your voice. His hands rub against your back as he tries his best to soothe you.
"Let's get you to bed then, OK?"
You nod against his shoulder weakly and he picks up your body. Your legs wrap around his hips and you feel like a koala clinging onto a tree.
He settles your body down onto your bed and you let out a broken sigh, melting into the softness of your mattress. You almost let out another sob from how much you've missed this.
You hear him shuffle around, probably packing up his things.
"Are you leaving?" you ask, forcing your eyes to open.
Yoongi has turned off the light, but you can still make out his figure with the help of the moonlight that slips into your room through a small crack in your curtains.
He looks pretty. He had dyed his hair since the first time you met him, and the now blond locks fell in small waves across his forehead. From this angle, the silver hues illuminating him make him look ethereal.
"Yeah," he says with a small nod.
"Oh."
His movements still, sensing the disappointment laced in your voice.
"Do you want me to stay?"
A beat of silence passes as you weigh your options. You feel selfish for wanting him to stay, but his hugs are the most comfortable thing ever and you already miss the feeling of his arms around you.
"Yes, please."
You miss the smile that forms on Yoongi's face, and you hear him put his bag onto the floor again.
"Lie with me. You're really warm and comfy," you say.
He chuckles but obliges, slipping beside you under the duvet. You feel him hesitate for a moment before wrapping his arms around you, and you melt into his embrace again.
In a few minutes, you drift off into a much-needed slumber, leaving Yoongi staring up at the ceiling. The only sounds in the room are your soft breathing and the ticking of your clock.
Yoongi silently hopes that this isn't the last time you fall asleep in his arms.
#tanni’s works 🖇️#bts fanfic#bts drabble#bts#bts x reader#bts x oc#bangtan#bangtan sonyeondan#bangtan boys#bts yoongi#bts suga#bts min yoongi#min yoongi#yoongi fluff#yoongi angst#yoongi#agust d#bts smut#bts fluff#bts angst#yoongi smut#yoongi scenarios#yoongi oneshot#bts reactions#yoongi x you#yoongi fic#yoongi fanfic#yoongi imagine#bts x you#bts x y/n
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- series : crow choir
"commitment" and pre-moving out reader is an interesting stich i want to add to the story, and a side trait to think about when reading.
the premise is that after the reader's tough time with their sister is ended by her untimely death, they're shuffled around foster homes with barely enough time to get settled, create meaningful relationships, or even say goodbye properly. they're probably in a dull headspace during the whole agenda, having to navigate through a life without their only pillar of support, and without any support at all.
it would subconsciously create an issue with attachment though, not wanting to trust or love others at all in fear that once they eventually leave, as they always do, you'll be left with a little empty pit in your heart again.
hobbies, similarly, are just quick things to occupy yourself with. not something you're actually interested in, or particularly want to do. just something to fill in the empty gaps in time when you're not with your friends or busy with work or shaking hands with a nameless businessman for mr. wayne.
because of this, everything is just... boring. difficult to do, to finish. with your family it's the exact same. wanting to be with them, trust them, love them, is like your hobbies. quick and done with, depending on your mood. it's somewhat natural to have your social battery correlate with your behavior, but with the headspace provided, it's just another cog in a endless wheel of self-pity and loathing.
you'll think miserably; why don't they want to talk to me? while having tensely excusing yourself from a family get-up with a slight grimace just a few hours ago.
that's just the thing. you're not excluded from anything. well, most things, they do sometimes forget about you, but you're not excluded. you don't involve yourself because you're scared of feeling happy with them, but feel terrible when you're all on your own too.
with an emotionally repressed background clawing it's way up from your past with a mostly-busy, mostly-angsty, tough-loving sister, you can't even identify your emotions clearly.
i imagine maybe asking dick to hang out, and he assures you he'll make time with a smile. yeah, he does forget, remembering out of his own volitation only months later, but he does remember, and asks you about the same. but if you're say, in a bad mood, which you happen to be in very often because of your circumstances, you'll probably decline. moping over it later.
there's no good or bad here. reader is not a bad person for this specifically, so to speak. neither is the family. yes, not following up on particular wishes and then blaming others and kicking yourself up over it isn't healthy, it's unfair too. but you can't be blamed. you're still living on the mindset of a little kid waiting for big sister to come home from work, ask to play, and possibly dodging a fist to your face and scrambling away to your room. you're scared.
the family doesn't exclude you, but they could be doing a better job. yes you sit at the dining table with them when you eat, but you don't join into conversations and they don't seem to care. yes you watch your brothers squabble on video games, but only from a cold distance. but they can't be blamed. they're all a little emotionally stunted, and their reasoning does seem to sometimes overpower them. maybe you're so quiet because you don't like to talk? they wouldn't want to impose themselves on you. besides, they don't know you that well either, and you're doing quite a job to make sure they don't, what would you guys even talk about?
that said, the above thoughts are fleeting. thoughts about you are neglected, and pushed into the corner, like you are. after falling out with your friends over... an incident, you grow harshly distant. you no longer fear them, no, you detest them. you begin to hate again. and that little burst of emotion, that hate, is so refreshing in the face of dull existence that you cling onto it. you get attached. it's their fault. some vigilantes they are. saving everyone but you, but your sister, your siblings, your friends, everybody who had the simplest misfortune of being associated with your unmeaning life. maybe it's unreasonable to think this way, but you don't much care.
you grow unreasonable, but you always have been.
if you like the story, i encourage interacting and sending asks, but either way, thank you for the support on the series and for reading!!
#batfam x reader#angst#batfamily#batsis reader#batman fanfiction#bruce wayne x batsis#batfam#tim drake x batsis#dc x reader#neglected reader#x neglected reader#yandere dc#yandere batfam#yandere batman#yandere batboys#yandere dick grayson#batfam x male reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x gn reader
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where do broken hearts go? [lmk]
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you know what they say about past lovers that can remain just as friends - either they're still in love with each other, or they never were in the first place.
pairing: mark lee x fem! reader
genre: exes to lovers. angst, fluff.
wc: 12k (11.926)
warnings: mention of sex, weed and alcohol, heartbreak, swearing, park jihoon of treasure is one sassy bitch and also accidentally somehow the main character of this fanfic plz dont @ me, inconsistent writing style bc i took 3 months and 3 depressive episodes to finish this fic
playlist: where do broken hearts go - one direction / too good to say goodbye - bruno mars / everytime - ariana grande / closer - waterparks / tornado warnings - sabrina carpenter / survive the night - the boyz
a/n: hey do some of you still remember me..... AHAHA tell a friend to tell a friend rrxnjun is BACK! this fic isn't the ideal vision i had in my mind but we are working on not being so hard on ourselves with our writing so! here we are. i still kind of like it :,)
When you walk up to your best friend’s apartment one day with a tub of ice cream under your arm and the biggest pout on your face, Park Jihoon makes a complete list of things you should do to get over your failed relationship with Mark Lee. And while you think your dear friend has some psychopathic tendencies sometimes, you’d say the list is actually pretty reasonable of him.
There’s something about the five simple steps that makes you wonder if it’s really as easy as Jihoon makes it sound. And while you doubt it– because the pinging pain in your heart makes it seem like the heartbreak is truly going to kill you in a few minutes if you don’t do something about it– you give it a try, because come on… you’d do anything to not feel like this ever again.
Step one – cry it out.
“He was a cunt anyway,” Jihoon mutters as he steps into the living room with two spoons in his hands, throwing one of them to you– while almost managing to hit you in the middle of your forehead in the process, adding a concussion to the mix of problems you have going on right now– and you find yourself furrowing your brows at his hateful comment.
“Why’d you say that?”
“Well, as your best friend, I’m supposed to be on your side, no?” he says as he takes a seat on the sofa next to you, watching as you wrap one of the thick blankets you got for the male around your figure– you bought it mainly for yourself, because his apartment is cold as a freezer and you knew he wouldn’t buy one for you to use in the first place– and shrugs. “Besides, he broke your heart, and any male who does that is a cunt in my eyes.”
“I broke up with him,” you mourn, “so I broke my own heart,” you snicker, despair fully filling you up from the inside– fitting everywhere into your lungs and choking you up from how bad you truly feel. Now, this isn’t your first breakup– you’ve had your fair share of boyfriends in high school (in your baddie era, as Jihoon called it), but Choi Yeonjun from Maths class and Jung Woonyoung, the guy you dated for a total of 2 months over the summer break before he moved away, weren’t exactly boys you found yourself falling in love with. Sure, you liked them, you kissed them and went on dates with them– hell, you even hooked up with Yeonjun once before you realized the relationship truly wasn’t for you– but no one managed to cave into your heart just as much as Mark Lee, your first college boyfriend did.
“But you sure had a reason for it, come on!” Jihoon huffs, taking the tub of ice cream from your hands and opening it for you, since you’ve gotten quite weak from the lack of sleep and nutritions ever since the break up, hands clammy and not cooperating. “You don’t just break up with someone to break your own heart. He did that, that’s why you said goodbye to him,” he says before sitting the enormous tub of ice cream between your two bodies, nudging you to dig into the frozen delicacy.
“Yeah, but–”
“No buts, young lady. We are here to make you forget you ever even dated Mark Lee, so open up, eat the ice cream and focus your attention on Titanic so you can finally cry it out,” he says, and by the tone of his voice, you’d think he’s angry with you. Jihoon has this aura around him that makes you think he’s always at least a little annoyed at everything– but he told you to not mind it and that it’s just his sassy bitch attitude.
He does have a point, though. You broke up with Mark because he broke your heart first– there was no other reason for it. If it was something minor, something small, you were sure you could work on it. You have, numerous of times before, brought up something and had a mature conversation about it– something you always so admired about Mark, being so cautious and understanding when navigating problems in the relationship– but when you bring up the same thing over and over, and it never gets fixed despite him telling you he’ll try harder next time, you think you’re allowed to feel a little heartbroken at his nonexistent efforts. And that’s exactly why you decided to quit the relationship– after a while, you felt like you were putting in more effort than he was, effectively making you feel like he’s not even that interested in dating you in the first place.
First, he just told you he was forgetful. He forgot he promised to pick you up from class one day– and you said that it’s okay, he is busy, after all– and it was the first time it happened, so you didn’t really mind that much, truly. Then, he forgot about the date you scheduled– but it was fine, because you didn’t have reservations anyway, you could change the day to any other day of the week, after all. He kept forgetting the stuff you told him in between the conversations you shared– and it was small things, you understand, but sometimes, you wondered if he was ever really listening to you at all.
Forgetful soon turns not interested in your eyes, and when he doesn’t call you in the evening like he promised he would, when he doesn’t show up to the party you invited him to, because he forgot it was that day, you’re one step closer to calling it quits, because each and every one of these situations sends a sharp pain into your stomach. The last straw was just last week, though– and realistically, it was an important day, as much that you thought the day is somehow gonna fix everything, but the truth is somewhere completely else as Mark Lee forgets about your one year anniversary and never shows up at your doorstep for the dinner you prepared for the two of you like he promised he would.
And it doesn’t click in him two days after either– you don’t even get a text. He got so forgetful over time that he forgot about you completely, and that’s when you took an uber to his place and broke up with him for good.
And even though the breakup was the most painful thing you’ve ever felt yourself go through, Jihoon is right– you’re not the one that broke your own heart. Mark Lee did that for you many times before, and this was just the breaking point.
“Fucking hell, you bought cookies and cream again?” Jihoon huffs when he takes another spoonful of the ice cream into his mouth, eyebrows furrowing at the sweet taste. Looking at him from the corner of your eye, you wipe your left cheek as you hum, immune to his nagging by now.
“You know I hate cookies and cream!”
“You know, Hoon, I bought this for myself. When you’re the one that’s heartbroken, we’ll share your favorite ice cream flavor instead,” you mumble, munching on the coldness on your tongue, sniffling a little when your eyes avert to the TV screen.
And after that, the teasing from your best friend’s side stops. Maybe it’s just because he hates to see you cry– and he rarely gets the chance, if you’re being honest, since you’re pretty good at handling your emotions– but you secretly know that it’s because when he looks back at the TV screen in front of the two of you, the sad part of the movie hasn’t even started yet and the tears are not the result of the movie, but of your own thoughts instead.
Step two – give him back all of his stuff and the stuff he’s given you that reminds you of him. Demand that he does the same.
Now, step two was a thing most couples do when they break up. Realistically, it makes sense– you wouldn’t want stuff that’s not yours just laying around, and also, it’s just bound to remind you of the person you lost. Naturally, you’d want to return it.
“Why does he have to return my things as well?” you mutter under your breath as Jihoon helps you fold all Mark’s hoodies into a cardboard box, alongside with wrapping the little things your ex boyfriend made out of ceramic for you in tissue paper like you asked him to– even though he complained and said that it shouldn’t matter to you if they break, because you are the heartbroken one– but you held those little things too close to your heart to let them get damaged in the first place.
“Because that’s how it works,” Jihoon hums, watching as you throw another one of Mark’s shirts onto the top of his head, shielding his vision. “What, you don’t want your stuff back?”
“I mean…” you mumble, deeply considering of the fact that the thought of getting your stuff back didn’t even cross your mind until now, before you realize your favorite pair of socks is thrown somewhere in Mark’s drawers– the blue ones with peaches on them– and you suddenly have the revelation that while you don’t necessarily need the stuff back, you’d love to wear those socks again. “I guess…” you note as you walk over to Jihoon and take a glance into the full cardboard box, looking over the stuff and chewing on the inside of your cheek.
“It’s like witchcraft, y’know,” Jihoon points out, looking at you with fierce eyes mirroring the stupid idea that just flashed through his brain, “if you don’t exchange the things, a piece of you is still kept at his apartment and you won’t be able to move on.”
And again, Park Jihoon does have psychopathic tendencies, but he may be onto something here. So you listen to him as you nod along and close the cardboard box, ready to drive over to Mark Lee’s apartment and drop off the things you’ve collected from him for the past year. The box includes all of the clothes messily scattered across your drawers and your closet, the picture frame of you two together that you always had on your night stand, the ceramic bowls and a little tiger sculpture he made for you when he took a pottery class with his friend Renjun, and the lost guitar pics you found under your bed and at the very top of your bookshelf from when he used to bring his guitar along and play you songs on rainy afternoons. The only things of Mark’s that you kept were the love letter he gave you for your birthday and the USB with his cover of Justin Bieber’s Off my face on it that he shyly gifted to you on one of your dates; but you would never tell Jihoon that in fear of him getting rid of those most precious memories for you.
It’s good to let go, but you don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to keep something to remind you of the good times. The times you still felt loved by Mark.
“Off we go,” you say, standing up and bringing the box towards your front door, your best friend at your feet. He promised to drive you to Mark’s place– you think he’s worried about you meeting your ex-boyfriend face to face for the first time since the break up, but he said it’s because you’re too broke to Uber all the time, efficiently throwing all the considerate thoughts you were accrediting him out the window– and after a few minutes of the drive, you find yourself standing on the doorstep of Mark Lee's apartment.
Taking a deep breath in and out, almost chickening out with the flood of thoughts and excuses you could say to Jihoon when you come back to his car with the box still in your hands– sayings like “he wasn’t home” or “he didn’t want those back”, the latter stupider than the first– you decide to face your problems head-on and finally knock on the mahogany door, waiting for Mark to answer. And he does– of course he does, because he’s always home, and as his ex-girlfriend of one year, you're painfully aware of the fact– but when that happens, you feel your heart falling all the way down to your stomach, crushing you and suddenly making it hard for you to breathe.
“Um… hi,” he greets you, voice a little groggy, as if he hasn’t spoken in a while– and when you meet his eyes, the deep chocolate orbs you always found yourself admiring and writing silent odes to in your head, you quickly glance away in fear of staring into them for too long and making decisions you wouldn’t like to make.
“Hi,” you awkwardly greet back, clearing your throat and moving a little in your place, shifting the weight from one foot to the other. You're surprised you're able to keep up with the conversation, thoughts running in your brain faster than you can comprehend them, heartbeat ringing in your ears from the unexpected anxiety. Maybe Jihoon was right and you should've taken a shot before coming here– at least you'd have more courage and social skills clearly needed for this kind of interaction. “I… brought you back your things,” you say, finally looking up at the male and chewing on your lips, letting out an awkward, tense laugh when he stares at you with an empty look, “figured you’d want them back,” you add, watching as the male opens his mouth and closes it in what seems to be shock before he presses his lips tightly together and nods at you.
“Uh, yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he watches you clumsily hold up the cardboard box to him, ready to leave his stuff there with him and escape as fast as you can, not really minding how you'll get back to Jihoon's car– if jumping down the window of the entrance hall is the fastest option, you're ready to get to it. The truth is, everything is starting to get a little too hard to bear– his familiar scent filling your nose, the hoodie he wore to your first date enveloping his figure, his messy hair reminding you of the many times you brushed your fingers through it in attempts to smooth it down. It’s only been two weeks since you last saw him, but it was starting to feel as if you forgot about him already and were now relearning all the things you once fell in love with again, looking at him in the same light, yet noticing him and all the small details a little bit differently. “Thanks, I… I actually, uh… I have your stuff here too, so if you want it back I’ll– I can just–”
“Y-yeah,” you nod, almost a little too eagerly, “that would be… cool,” you say, trying hard to ignore the fact that he had your stuff packed too, intending to give it to you, and the crashing reality that comes with it, telling you he was prepared to do this before you were and how it’s making you feel kind of shitty.
Mark moves further into the apartment, the sound of him dropping the box to the floor filling your ears before he’s back at the door in no time, a similar cardboard box in his hands that he offers to you with a tense smile on his face. “Wanted to bring it around so I had an excuse to see you, but you, uh… beat me to it, I guess…”
Looking at him as you take the box out of his hands, gaze as if to tell him not to say such words to you when you’re still so fragile to his effect, you only nod and mutter out a simple “Thanks,” before you turn on your heel and intend to take the stairs back down.
“I’ll… see you around, then?” Mark calls after you as you take the first step out– something about it making you feel like it’s the first step out of his life, in a way– and you only nod, because one, you truly don’t know how else to reply to this question, and two, you really, really don’t know if you’ll ever see him again, but you can't bring yourself to say it to his face. Somehow, it would feel like torture to admit it– and you're not prepared for that reality just yet.
Rushing outside and getting into Jihoon's car, you almost feel like you’re on the verge of breaking, and when the male asks you how it went as he’s reversing out of the parking lot, you only bid him a one-word reply before you look through the box on your way home, too impatient to stay back from the memories.
And Jihoon didn’t really think this one through, because the fact that you gave Mark back the things that reminded you of him meant that he did the same, and now all the things you brought along to Mark’s apartment were in the cardboard box, all stained with countless memories and feelings attached to each and every single thing. The artwork you made for him, the little heart-shaped keychain you gave him for his birthday, the plant you gave him that was now long dead and dried out– those were once your stuff, but all in this world with the intention of love being sent out through them to your now ex-lover, and the fact that they’re in your possession again instead of his is not making letting go of Mark any easier.
And maybe Mark was right and he truly was forgetful, because as you rummage through the contains of the box, while you find out your favorite blue socks are nowhere to be seen, surely still buried somewhere in the drawers of his closet, obliterated out of his memory, there’s a gray hoodie sitting at the bottom and it’s surely not yours– it’s his and it was always your favorite, and you always used to wear it at his place when you got cold or when you just really wanted to smell his cologne, and you suddenly don't know if it's presence in the box slipped his mind or if he truly left it there on purpose.
Couldn’t he forget about that too?
Step three – block his number.
The third step comes into place after you accidentally slip out to Jihoon about the phone call you get on a Friday night– more like two hours into Saturday already– and now, most of all, you must admit that your best friend might be right about his advice.
Your phone starts ringing at 2:11 AM, and while you weren’t sleeping– you’ve been having some trouble with dozing off without being overbeared with thoughts lately– the name flashing on your screen shocks you for more reasons than one.
Mark Lee calls you, three weeks after your breakup, in the middle of the night. You haven’t spoken since the time he gave you back your stuff, and even though you’ve done quite a bit of stalking on his social media, you have no news of him or his whereabouts. Naturally, a call from him in the middle of the night startles you and shakes you to the core. He has no reason to call you, so your brain does the math and concludes there must be an emergency– and god knows that even after being hurt by him, you could never ignore him and leave him hanging in a state of need.
So you pick up– with shaky hands and a raging heartbeat, expecting the worst. Listening to the other side of the line, you take a deep breath in and out, bracing yourself for the impact of the words you’re going to hear. The voice on the other side is laced with haziness and his tone is almost a little tired– worn out, even– when he finally greets you from wherever he is.
“Hi,” Mark says, and for a second, your heartbeat steadies itself and the world stops spinning– he sounds okay, and for a moment, you’re grateful to hear his voice.
Humming, as if to collect your thoughts, you clear your throat before you offer him an answer. “Hello,” you greet, “what’s- what’s up?”
“Just wanted to hear your voice,” he says, almost a little abruptly to your question. He doesn't overthink his answer and he doesn't give himself time to think if it's a good idea or not– he just blurts it out and now it's your problem to deal with, when it's there, out in the open. Your palms get sweaty and you start to lose feeling in your fingertips, making you take a few seconds to yourself to process the situation before you decide to finally answer to the strange sentence.
“It’s late, Mark,” you mumble, and you involuntarily wonder if the sentence doesn’t have double meaning– it's too late for anyone to call at this hour, and at the same time, it’s been weeks since your ex boyfriend lost the privilege of listening to your voice when he can’t sleep in the middle of the night whenever he feels like it– and it’s now too late to do anything about it or make it any easier to deal with.
“Shit, sorry,” he chuckles to himself, and you suddenly recognise the laziness in his voice to be the effect of his and his best friend Hyuck’s Friday endeavors; the sweet coating of his voice being the effect of none other than the momentary bliss that comes with the relaxation of his body and mind when he's high. “Didn’t realize,” he concludes, making you shake your head at him in disbelief– not really mattering that he can’t see you in the act.
“‘s okay,” you mumble– and in your perfect reality, you hang up the phone now. In your perfect reality, you connect it to your charger and close your eyes, calling it a night. You fall asleep with no thoughts rummaging through your brain and wake up in the morning to a new sunny day, ready to take on the responsibilities of what’s to come, having productive days ended with smiles and a hot dinner you make for yourself just because you feel like it. In your perfect reality, you protect your own heart. This is not your perfect reality, though– and that’s why you stay on the line, listening to Mark ramble on the other side of the phone, intoxicated and slightly out of it. You wonder if he’ll remember calling you when he wakes up tomorrow. You wonder if he’ll regret it, or if he’ll just shrug his shoulders at the fact and go on with his day, not really paying you much thought when he’s sober.
“I was with Hyuck just now,” he says, and you hear the rustling of his sheets on the other side of the line, making you wonder if he’s washed up and ready for bed, “and– and I remembered how we all used to hang out together, y’know… you with us all– you always clicked with my friends and it was so cool and stuff… and I realized, right, they’re not as funny when you’re not around… but anyways… Jeno’s girlfriend asked about you, ‘cause she didn’t know…and telling her felt so silly, ‘cause they all kept looking at me and I knew they were pitying me, but it was my fault in the first place–”
“Mark–”
“No, it’s true. And it’s cool, I don’t– I don’t blame you, or anything. I just… I dunno, I guess it got me wondering…”
The line goes silent on the other side, and you settle into your own bed, giving him time to continue. When he doesn’t say anything for a long time, you wonder if he’s fallen asleep.
“Mark?”
“Hm?”
“You still there?”
“Yeah. How was your day?” he asks, tone of voice casual as ever, as if he’s forgotten about all the words he’s told you up until now– as if it’s not 2 AM and both of your hearts aren’t breaking at the sound of each other’s voice on the other side of the line.
“It… it was okay, I guess,” you say nonetheless, too hopeless to find a way to end the conversation before he does.
“That’s good to hear,” he says, sighing, “that’s… awesome. You still taking those yoga classes on Mondays?” he asks, and you snicker to yourself– because what kind of question even is that? Who asks that on a late night call, when there are more important things you two need to talk about?
“Yeah,” you lie, still. You haven’t been since the breakup.
“That’s great. Wouldn’t want you to… y’know,” he laughs to himself, “be too sad over this… ‘t was for the better, after all.”
You hear yourself hum– the noise way more stable than your actual words ever could be– and you find yourself feeling silly in the conversation, lying to your ex boyfriend through your teeth; because at the end of the day, you don’t want him to worry about you– because it seems to be the case that he is. And it’s stupid, because he hurt you and you shouldn’t care, maybe you should’ve even show him that you’re heartbroken and that he is the reason behind your pain and the way your life is falling apart, bit by bit, but you don’t find it in you to be so cold and heartless. At the end of the day, you still care about Mark and there’s nothing you could do about it. Turns out that breaking up with him doesn’t magically make the feelings go away– and you knew that, but now you have proof.
“What were you saying before, by the way? You… trailed off at the end,” you say, reminding him of his previous words.
“Oh, that,” he snickers into the microphone again, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he twists and turns in the sheets, “don’t worry about it. It was selfish of me.”
It was selfish of him to call in the first place. But you won’t tell him that.
“What was it?”
“It’s just… I was wondering if I lost you forever, y’know… if there was a chance we could ever…” he trails off again, but this time, you don’t bug him to complete it. You’re not stupid– you know the implication of his words. You’ve known him for a long time, after all– maybe you should’ve predicted this when you picked up the call.
“I mean…” you hum, “you didn’t lose me completely, if that’s– if that’s what’s keeping you up at night. We’re still friends, aren’t we?” you say, and in the corner of your brain, you can’t even believe the words yourself– but if it was selfish of him to call, you think it’s okay for you to selfishly fill both of you with empty promises, just for the sake of not breaking your heart even further.
“Yeah,” he mumbles, “that’s– …I’m glad.”
The line’s silent after that, and you wonder if you two have used up the list of words to say to each other this time, if there’s truly no other answer at the end of this conversation. When the situation gets too much for you to bear, the heaviness finally settling on your shoulders and your chest, you finally find the courage to sniffle out a quiet goodbye.
“Good night, Mark.”
“G’night,” he drags out, mind still cloudy. “Love you,” spills out from his tongue, like a bad habit.
He ends the call before you get to say it back. Maybe that’s for the better.
And the truth is, you should’ve really listened to Park Jihoon and blocked Mark’s number after this encounter. But you didn’t– you’re too weak for Mark’s sweet words, finding yourself still hanging on to his saccharine voice and the muffled ramble he has reserved for you only every time he gets high and loses all self-control before calling you on Friday nights selfishly demanding your attention, somehow falling for him like a teenager over and over again despite promising yourself you're gonna move on for real now.
Step four – date someone new.
“So…” Jihoon starts one day, eyes glued to your skull like laser beams, the tone of his voice so incomprehensible you think he’s going to scold you for the actions of your previous days– even though you haven't told him about the midnight calls with Mark and so if he's not going through your phone, he has no way of knowing. Tense and nervous, still, knowing that the impact of his words could either heal you or cut you open like a knife– damn him for always being so brutally honest, no matter how soft his heart is for you– you smile at him with tight lips, crossing your arms on your chest in defense.
“So…?”
A nervous laugh almost escapes your throat. If Jihoon wasn’t suspicious of you before, he surely is now– or he just finds you strange by the way he furrows his brows at you and scans you up and down, taking a second for himself before he sighs and seemingly decides to drop the weird way you’re acting right now, shaking his head and focusing on the task at hand.
“I was thinking… my friend asked about you,” he says, nonchalantly looking down onto his hands and taking the dirt out from behind his nails, as if it’s not a big deal and he doesn’t even care that much. “Choi Hyunsuk from Biology, you know him– shabby haircut, kinda short, failed the class so he has to retake it this year…?”
“I think you’re forgetting the fact that the two of us have completely different majors, Hoonie,” you sweetly smile at him with irony, making him roll his eyes with a sigh before he tries again.
“The guy who ripped his pants at Xiao Dejun’s party last year?”
“Oh, that one! You should’ve said that earlier, of course I remember Choi Hyunsuk from your Biology class,” you nod hurriedly, the gears finally clicking in your brain.
“As if I wasn’t talking about him for the last few minutes–”
“Okay, and what about him?” you cut him off, already tired of his annoying tangent.
“I said he asked about you.”
“I heard that already,” you nod, looking at him with expecting eyes. “And?”
Jihoon stares at you, unblinking, as if you fell on your head and he’s trying to comprehend if you’re still here with him or if you got a concussion and need to be transferred into a hospital. When the contact of his eyes on your skin gets a bit too uncomfortable– you swear his looks could actually kill someone, if he tried enough– you furrow your brows at him in confusion and shake your head in disbelief.
“Why are you staring at me like that, Park Jihoon?”
“Just tryna see if you’re really that stupid or if you’re just pretending,” he mutters under his nose before he sighs again– his favorite activity whenever you’re around, it seems– and speaks up again, tone of voice reminding you of a kindergartener teacher trying to explain why it gets dark in the evening to a bunch of 4 year olds. “You know, when people ask about you, they are usually interested in you, as in, my friend Hyunsuk didn’t ask because you’re nice, but because you’re hot, if you know what I'm getting onto.”
“Oh,” you get out, eyes wide in concern and a little shaken-up, “well, that’s… nice of him, I guess.”
Jihoon only hums at you before he looks around himself and brings out the bag of chips that he left open by his right side only a few seconds ago, not really speaking more about the topic. It’s either he’s waiting for you to get what he’s hinting at, or he’s just waiting for you to get even more confused and ask him about it in a few seconds again– either way, he’s not the one doing more talking right now, because conversations with you, the most oblivious person he’s ever seen, are never productive if he goes too fast.
Chewing on the chips, his eyes go wide when you finally open your mouth and talk more about the topic at hand– just like he predicted. “Why are you telling me this?”
Your best friend swallows before he places the bag of chips back to its original place and turns his whole body so he’s facing you, speaking up again. “I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, you’d like to hang out with him. Like a date, before you ask– because I know you’re gonna ask– and why? – because, again, I know you’re gonna ask– because I simply think you should try to date again to get your mind off the loser you broke up with two months ago,” he says, blunt and honest, answering all of your unsaid questions at once, and before you know it, he has you snickering and shaking your head in disapproval.
“Absolutely not,” you retort, waving your hands in the air to only further show your disagreement with the proposition, “that would just be a massive catastrophe.”
“Why? Hyunsuk’s nice.”
“I didn’t say he isn’t, it’s just…”
“Just?” he probes you, eyebrows raised and questioning.
“I… don’t know,” you nervously chew on the inside of your cheek, aimlessly shrugging. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea, Jihoon.”
“Because of Mark?” he asks, and the moment his name escapes your best friend’s mouth, the whole room goes strangely quiet– you feel your heartbeat in your throat, the tips of your fingers start tingling and you swear that if you concentrate hard enough, you could feel a bead of sweat drip down your forehead with the incoming stress and nerves only the mention of your ex boyfriend brings you.
“No, that’s not it–”
“Sure,” he nods, sighing to himself– and there it is again, the judging look you so despise.
“You can’t just expect me to date other people a few weeks after my break up, Jihoon,” you exclaim, “that– that wouldn’t even be fair to your friend. You know I wouldn’t be invested,” you explain, and your friend rolls his eyes in frustration, sighing to himself.
“Oh but I know that! And Hyunsuk does too,” he shakes his head at you, “just thought the company of someone else could take your mind off things.”
“I have you,” you try.
“Yeah, but all we do when we’re together is mope about Mark Lee,” Jihoon snickers, “and don’t get me wrong, I’m more than open to bitch about your ex boyfriend and as your best friend, I don’t mind, but the fact that you’d be hanging out with someone else could take your mind off him, because you wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about him with someone else, y’know?”
You shut your eyes closed, a heavy sigh heaving out of your body as you try hard to concentrate and not lose it, and with how Jihoon’s tone gets softer and he’s not as loud with his brutal, yet logical advice, he must feel you getting overwhelmed and accommodates to your needs. “Look, it’s gonna be fun. I promise. Hang out with someone new, feel wanted and hot and pretty again, get some male attention that’s not your ex boyfriend, and you’ll see how it makes you feel. If you hate it, you hate it and you can slap me, I don’t know... If you don’t, you can keep dating around with my friends, and I swear I’ll hook you up only with the nice ones,” he takes your hand into his and waves it around in comfort, making you open your eyes and look at him again.
Seeing the softness and encouragement in your best friend’s eyes, you sigh to yourself. All this time, he’s tried to help you– what if you finally follow his advice? Who knows, it might even help.
Sighing, you squeeze his palm and hover over him to get the stranded bag of chips he’s guarding on the other side of the sofa. “Fine,” you mutter, “but let your friend know that he’s the one paying, okay?”
“Perfect. I'll text him your number, then.“
And maybe Jihoon was right and after dolling yourself up and dressing up in your favorite dress just so you would feel as comfortable as possible, you don’t feel as bad when his friend Hyunsuk picks you up in his white Volvo and chats with you on the way to the restaurant. He makes good small talk and even gets a giggle out of you, the music in his car is low and you find yourself slowly easing into the situation. You don’t remember when the last time you went out with a guy that wasn’t Mark was, but it’s surprisingly nice.
And Jihoon was right– you feel pretty. And when Hyunsuk opens the door for you after pulling up to the parking lot of the restaurant, you even feel wanted. You like the attention, just like any other girl would, and the smile you offer to your date seeps of tender shyness as you get out of the comfortable seat of his car.
The illusion, though, is soon broken as you notice the restaurant he pulled up to. Your smile freezes, your palms get sweaty and you feel your heartbeat rummaging against your ribcage as soon as the idle atmosphere of the restaurant opens up before you. And realistically, you could turn on your heel and get back to the car, tell Hyunsuk that you want to go to another restaurant– but you don’t do it, against your biggest wishes, because you worry that the boy already made a reservation and you don’t want to ruin an evening that’s going well so far.
“Everything alright?” your date checks up on you, seemingly noticing the frown on your face, and when his worried eyes meet yours, it’s sealed– you’d feel too bad for pulling out of the date now. So you only do what you always do best– you put on your best relaxed smile and nod, catching up to him and ensuring him that you’re all okay and you didn’t just talk yourself out of an anxiety attack.
Because you owe it to him and to Jihoon– both of them worked so hard to make you feel happy and help you to get over your ex boyfriend. It’s not Hyunsuk’s fault that he just managed to pick the restaurant your said ex boyfriend works at part-time. He had no way of knowing, and if you’re lucky enough, Mark wouldn’t be on today. He only works here part-time, it’s not like he’s here every day, and as far as you’re concerned, he only worked like two or three days a week when you dated. It would be a weird coincidence for him to be working the day you go there with your new date– you hope you’re not that unlucky.
Hyunsuk is a gentleman. Opening up doors for you, pulling out the chair for you, letting you talk and not interrupting you. He watches you with fond eyes and you almost try to feel bad for the fact that even if this ended well, the poor boy would just end up being a rebound. He deserves so much more, and you start to worry if this date was a good idea after all. Wasn’t it selfish of you to agree to this?
“What do you want to get?” he asks as you open up the menu, and you squint at the prices, mentally taking a note to order the cheapest thing just in case he wants to pay for you at the end of the evening.
“Spaghetti Bolognese,” you blurt out, despite it not being your favorite meal. Hyunsuk just stares at you with squinted eyes, but doesn’t disagree with you. After all, he has no way of knowing that you dislike the taste of the sauce in most restaurants– even though your conscience tells you that Mark knew that and always made sure to remind you about it before ordering for you, worried that you won’t get to eat much that evening– the only thing left to hope is that it tastes good in this particular place.
“Okay, sure,” he nods and puts the menu down, smiling at you before engaging in a comfortable conversation with you. It feels like you’ve known Hyunsuk forever– his personality oddly reminding you of Jihoon’s caused mainly by the fact that the two have grown up together. Everything flows soundly, but you still find yourself anxiously picking at your cuticles as you cautiously look around the restaurant, fearing the fact that you could catch a glimpse of your ex boyfriend at any second.
And maybe you should be a psychic, because those bad feelings were not there for nothing– when you see a waiter walking out of the back and eyeing your table, ready to get your order, the boy is a few inches taller than your current date, raven hair messy, but still a little styled, dark circles under the man’s eyes, and there he is– your ex boyfriend. Mark Lee halts in his movements, wearing his work uniform, eyes wide, a hint of something that breaks you at least in two mirroring in his orbs before he turns on his heel and disappears in the back again. When he doesn’t come back and his co-worker joins you and Hyunsuk at your table with a warm smile, you stop waiting to see the glimpse of him you selfishly desired to catch despite fearing the interaction the whole evening.
You want to fall through the floor and disappear in the depths of this earth. For some reason, you feel mortified. What would he think? And why do you even care about his feelings? A million different thoughts run through your brain and you worry that you’re being too distant from your current date, but Hyunsuk’s warm eyes reassure you that he doesn’t mind.
Piercing the food on your table with your eyes, you try to battle the noisy words running around your brain.
It’s easy to say you’re over someone when you don’t see them. To have them in front of you, meet their gaze and acknowledge their existence and still be able to nod and say that you’ve moved on, is something completely different.
Were you ever convinced that you were over Mark Lee in the first place, though?
After all of this– the months of following Jihoon’s advice, although making a few mishaps along the way as you continue to pick up Mark’s calls on Friday nights, snoop around his socials and let your mind wander to places it shouldn’t, overthinking everything and making you wish the relationship never ended in the first place– it’s time for the last step of it all. The last, most crucial part of this whole moving on process– the most important one, if you may.
Step five – avoid him at all costs.
Sounds easy, right? After the four previous steps, you’d already cried plenty about the lost months with your ex-boyfriend. You’d already given him back all of his stuff, not tying yourself to him with any material memory. You’d already gone on a date with someone new, choosing to distract yourself instead of letting yourself feel the emotions. After all the previous steps, this one’s supposed to be the easiest one. The one you’re supposed to want to do, after all. The break-up wasn’t messy, but it was still painful– it’s only natural for you to not want to see Mark ever again, right?
Wrong.
Because you never listen to the advice you’re given. That just wouldn’t be you, would it?
And so when Mark Lee calls you one day and tells you that he has a free train ticket to the Bukhansan stop, explaining that he was supposed to go hike there with Donghyuck who canceled on him last minute because of an assignment due midnight, you don’t really hesitate much before you shoot him a short text saying that you’re down and get ready for the short hike.
When you meet your ex boyfriend at the station, his figure slightly slouched up until the moment his eyes meet yours, you feel the quiet tension in the air. You’ve seen each other a few times before this meeting– on a party you went to with Jihoon, at the campus when you went to class one morning, your ex boyfriend walking you towards the Art building, hell, you’ve even met in the grocery store, all accidental and making your heart leap in your chest with tension. This time, though, you’re here completely intentionally, just to hang out with him, and something about the fact makes a dull pain shoot all through your intestines, a sensation so uncomfortable you try to hide with a tight-lipped smile.
“Ready for the hike?” he asks, adjusting the bag on his back, playing with the straps with clammy fingers. You can’t help but notice how he looks just like a little boy, in his little world, shielded from everything. He seems to have taken a protective stance, and you hate how the air between you shifted from how you two used to be when you were dating. Mark seems scared. Nervous. On top of his feet. Maybe you shouldn’t have agreed to this at all.
You’re already here, though. Turning around and leaving wouldn’t really work right now, as you take a step towards the train that’s just arrived, humming to your ex boyfriend in agreement. Taking a seat on the place Mark’s pointed to you on the train ticket, you try to loosen up your muscles and get as comfortable as you can, clearing your mind as you gaze outside of the window.
“How have you been?” he asks, clearing his throat.
Pressing your lips into a tight line, you turn to him as you search for an answer. “Better,” you nod, voice quiet. “You?”
Mark hums, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Good, good,” he lies through his teeth, “I’ve seen you at the restaurant the other day,” he hints, and you battle the sigh that’s begging to cut out of your throat. You don’t know where he’s going with the sentence. It’s not a question– only a proposition, barely even that– and you could ignore it with a nod of your head, you could pay it no mind as you see the bitterness in his gaze and the slightly self-conscious averting of his stare. You don’t know where he’s going with the conversation, but frankly, you don’t know where you are going with your answer either, as you shrug to him in a casual manner and peep under your breath.
“Yeah,” you say, “that was just… Jihoon’s friend from uni, I suppose,” you complete, and the sentence hints at nothing– it doesn’t clear out the confusion, it doesn’t outright say anything that could make Mark believe that it was just a casual hang-out with a friend, but still, you see the boy visibly relax as he nods to you and offers you a tight-lipped smile.
“Oh,” he hums, looking out of the window, past the profile of your face. The change in topic is sudden and sharp, but also welcome as he falls into a casual conversation with you, and suddenly, you’re reminded by the Mark you once knew– the guy you’ve once called not socially awkward, but so social that it’s awkward– as he talks to you about his day and rambles on about the weather. “It’s good that it won’t rain today, I bet the view will be nice.”
Locking your gaze with him for a brief second, you lick your lips and point your eyes towards the ground. It’s good that it won’t rain today, as opposed to last time you two went to the Bukhansan trail. You wonder if he remembers.
Before you have a chance to mention it– and in all reality, you won’t, no matter how bold you could be feeling at the moment– the train comes to a stop at your station and you hop out of the carriage, ready for the hike.
It’s easy to forget how messed up things have gotten between the two of you when you walk alongside with your ex boyfriend, laughing at his silly jokes and gasping at everything he shows to you with a pointed finger, finding yourself admiring the sound of his giggle when he spots a squirrel pass your path somewhere near the top of the hill. The trail is almost empty at this hour, since the two of you have decided to go in the late afternoon, and you find your soul to finally be at peace after so many weeks, you finally feel relaxed in the nature, one with the wind and the gentle sound of birds chirping lullying your running thoughts to a rest.
You realize that this is just what you needed all this time. You needed to get out and walk for some while, to tune out yourself and to accept the fact that you’re still here, for another day, and something about that is still a blessing. Watching the back of Mark’s head as he walks a step in front of you due to the narrowness of the trail in this area, you smile to yourself. It’s easy to forget just how much you were hurt by him when he heals your soul with such a simple gesture. It’s easy to forget you were hurt when he seemingly tries to put all the broken pieces back together, glue them to where they were in the first place, when things were easier and you both didn’t have so many things to worry about.
You reach the top just as the sun starts setting over the horizon, and there are only a few people scattered across the peak, sitting on their own picnic blankets and gazing into the distance. The hues of the sky paint the world in a different color, the oranges, pinks and muted purples playing with your heartstrings as you come to a halt and crouch down and feel the presence of another soul mirror your actions only a meter away to your right, his gaze glued to your side. The view is beautiful, but the feeling of being watched isn’t ignorable anymore, and so you turn to your companion and raise your eyebrows at him, wondering if he has something to say.
You don’t know how you’ll be able to come back to your life after this and pretend you still don’t want to spend every passing second with the man on your right. You don’t know how you’re supposed to ignore the ever so growing love for him– even though after being so disappointed with the past, the feelings should be decreasing, not doing the opposite– and frankly, you don’t even want to think of going back to the way it’s been for the past few months. And so you don’t– you allow yourself to indulge the moment, to ignore the pain that’s about to come, just so you could hold another beautiful memory to your heart and enjoy the moment before it hurts you to think of it tomorrow morning.
“It’s even more beautiful than the last time,” Mark hums, but his eyes never leave your figure– if you were still dating, you bet he’d come out with a cheesy line about how you’re prettier than the view, or something. “It didn’t rain this time around, thank god.”
Gazing at him, you shake your head in disbelief. Scoffing, you play with the grass between your fingers. “You remember that?”
“Yeah,” he hums, “I remember a lot of things.”
The sentence makes you bitterly chuckle. He knows why you’re reacting the way you are– and you have every right to. He claims to remember a lot of things, but the ones important to you, the ones you wanted him to remember, he failed to save into his memory. And that’s eventually what made you break up with him, at the end of it all.
At your reaction, he sighs and drags a hand across his face, seemingly realizing the weight of his own words and just how ridiculous he must have sounded to you right now.
“I- That-” he stutters, shaking his head, “that sounded stupid right now, considering… everything… Didn’t it?”
“Kind of,” you nod, not wanting to meet his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he blurts out, voice suddenly raw and serious, so different to the tone he’s been using with you the whole afternoon, “I don’t- I can’t remember if I said that back then, when you- when you… broke up with me, but I really am sorry, Y/N. You didn’t deserve that, and I am in no way shape or form trying to make this about me, but I hate myself every day for the way things turned out and if I could go back to that day, I’d do so many things differently.”
The sky in front of you deepens in reds and you taste iron on your tongue, suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that you’ve managed to bite on your lip too hard in the midst of the conversation. Tearing out stems of grass with your clammy fingertips, you focus on the clouds running through the sky, calculating your next response.
“Okay,” you nod, not giving him much else. The answer perfectly encapsulates the way you feel on the inside right now– you don’t know if you’re ready to accept his apology, if you’re ready to let go of it and act like you weren’t hurt or that none of it ever happened, but you listened to him and you internalized his words. He is sorry. He knows he was in the wrong. And you were aware that he knew all of this before– hell, you’d even go as far as say he knew it the moment you knocked on his door that day and told him it was over– but hearing it from him surely moved something inside of you to a more comfortable place.
“I-” he starts, voice breaking making him clear his throat before he continues, “I don’t expect you to forgive me. And I know I shouldn’t have expected you to still be my friend after all of this, and that- I shouldn’t have even called you so many times and approached you at the store and stuff, but um-” he mumbles, shrugging to himself, “I guess I just couldn’t stay away from you. And again, I don’t expect you to forgive me, I don’t expect you to do anything, really. So… yeah…”
Snickering at his aimless monologue, you shake your head in disbelief. “Mark?”
“Yeah?” he stares at you, eyes a bottomless pool of emotion.
“Why did you invite me here today? What was the… point, I guess?” you ask, hugging your knees to your chest as the breeze makes goosebumps appear all over your body.
Mark offers you a sad smile, head leaned to his right as he shrugs, and this time, his eyes don’t leave yours as he spills the truth into the air. “I guess I was just feeling selfish today,” he hums, and the sentence makes you cringe with the memory of his first call to you after your break up, “wanted to spend time with you.”
“Here, of all places?”
“Yeah,” he nods, “told you. I was feeling selfish.”
Snickering, you look away, staring at the sky again. The colors are starting to blend together into a deep, dark purple– the horizon darkening as the sun starts to say its final goodbyes to the day. You sigh to yourself, yet feel no bitterness or terror at his words. Somehow, you understand. Somehow, you get him a little too well. Somehow, you think you knew the moment he texted you today, and somehow, you think you felt it in your bones when you didn’t say no, although you could have. There’s calmness in your soul when you nod at the implication of his words, leaning back on your elbows and plopping your bottom to the ground, sitting at the dusty surface.
“You said you didn’t expect anything out of me today, Mark.”
“And I don’t,” he says, voice soft.
“And you brought me here to remind me of the last time we went?” you stare at him, a hint of a bitten-back smile playing with your lips. “Because you’re selfish?”
He nods, not escaping your gaze. “To remind you of the last time we went. To show you that… I remember, I guess. And that I still care, just like the last time. If not more.”
“Mark, you can’t just say all of this and expect nothing out of me right now,” you mutter.
“Actually, I can. Because that’s what I’m doing. I’m just… laying it out in the open, and what you do with the information is completely, completely up to you,” he explains, and you find yourself chuckling at him, the atmosphere instantly lighter as you hear his voice in its usual casualness, talking to you as if he was just unpacking what went on in class today, and not the starting and the end of your one year relationship.
And he’s right. What you do with the information is completely up to you, and the next steps and the progress of your relationship with Mark Lee is also completely in your hands. You could turn away and never talk to him again, you could curse at him and tell him that it’s too late now and he missed his chance, but if that was the case, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. He wouldn’t be inviting you to this place, lying about his roommate canceling just to trick you into going, and you wouldn’t be blindly accepting the invitation, wanting to see where the afternoon brings you.
“So you still care about me?” you hum, looking at him from under your eyelashes, noticing his slouched-over pose as he looks back at you over his shoulder.
“Always have,” he admits, “never stopped. Despite not really… acting like it in the past few months.”
“Why’d you stop acting like it, then?” you ask.
A sigh escapes his lips, his head turning forward before he leans back and sits cross-legged on the ground, more comfortably now. Shrugging, he answers the question. “I guess I just got too caught up with different things. And don’t get me wrong, you were always my priority, always, but I was all over the place with everything and my mind just couldn’t… there were too many things to keep up with and I couldn’t stay up to date with everything,” he says, “and I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s an explanation, and it doesn’t make it better or undo the pain I’ve caused you, but it’s… at least you know it was never because I’d care about you any less.”
His eyes bear into yours with such honesty you think the weight of the world will crash on you any minute, and suddenly, the whole situation seems so much clearer.
And you wouldn’t take it back, you wouldn’t undo the breakup or do anything differently, because at the end of the day, you think it was needed. Perhaps the time apart was what he needed as a wake up call and what you needed to shield yourself from hurting more.
“Stop me from saying it if you… if you don’t want to hear it right now,” he hums, voice barely louder than a whisper. There seems to be a silent communication between the two of you, a connection of some sort that brings out the strange telepathy, but you just nod at him, a gentle smile playing with your lips as you understand exactly what he means, telling him that it’s okay and that you don’t mind– you welcome, you need to hear him say it again.
Licking his lips, he turns to you fully, facing you. There’s not a hint of nervousness in his body, having done this a lot of times before, and then it happens– the repeated confession, confirming what was there the whole time, never leaving even when the times were rough.
“I love you,” he says.
And isn’t that all that’s needed?
A year is a long time with someone. Somehow, you wouldn’t want the time to go to waste. At the end of the day, if love is still present, isn’t it worth trying? One more time?
“And you still don’t expect anything from me?” you ask, gazing at him softly. “You don’t expect me to say it back?”
“No,” he breathes out, shrugging. “I just needed to get it off my chest.”
“Because you’re selfish like that,” you nod, teasing him.
“Because I’m selfish like that,” he agrees, breaking out into a slight grin.
Looking at the sky, now completely dipped in dark purple, you sigh to yourself at the turmoil of the conversation. You don’t say it back– although you feel it, you know it’s in there, playing with your heartstrings and clenching the muscle in the palm of its hand– you know love is there, deep inside, for the man that’s currently staring at you as if you hung the very stars appearing on the sky there yourself, stolen them from your own eyes and gluing them there selflessly, for everyone to see. You don’t tell him you love him back, you don’t tell him you forgive him or accept his apology. You don’t worry about what tomorrow will bring you, what your brain is going to tell you when you come down from the hill and get home, lay in your bed and overthink. You let the worries escape you, letting fondness and calm envelope you in a tight hug instead.
“Okay,” you nod, watching the boy next to you look at you with curious eyes. You take his hand into yours and place it on your thigh, playing with his fingers for a heartbeat before you meet his eyes again and smile. “I won’t say it back, but for all it’s worth, Mark… I’m glad you remembered.”
And that’s all he needs– there is love, there is fondness, and there is the silent confirmation that all you need right now is just a bit more time.
Where do broken hearts go?
Somehow, you think they hold on to the place where it all started. Somehow, you think your heart never went anywhere– it stayed on this hill, waiting for you to pay it a visit and pick back up everything right from where you left it.
“It doesn’t seem like a good idea to go here today, Y/N,” Mark laughed behind you as he looked up to the sky, the dark clouds shielding the sun that had been previously shining down on your hiking figures, casting an orange glow on the strands of your hair.
“Well, there’s no turning back now,” you shrugged, turning to him and grinning as you tugged on his hand, grip strong as you dragged the boy up the trail, your sneakers fast against the dirty ground. “We have finals starting next week and it’s gonna be too cold to go after the exam season is over, so we gotta go now.”
“I kind of regret telling you that I’ve never been here before now,” Mark sighed, but followed you nonetheless, breathlessly following your excited stride. It was October, the leaves on the trees were welcoming the two of you in shining colors, and the wind kissing your skin turned a bit chilly in the evenings– courtesy of the warm hoodie Mark shyly lended you when you shivered for the first time, adoring the way you, his friend, looked in the light gray fabric. Something about you wearing his clothes made the boy a bit hopeless about the day. Maybe he’ll have enough courage to confess his feelings to you, he thought. Maybe, despite the first raindrops falling on the skin of his bare arms, this evening will have a happy ending for you and him.
“Oh, please,” you squinted at him, continuing to run up the hill– thank god it wasn’t that steep, serving both of you as the perfect hiking difficulty, “even if you wouldn’t have, I’d drag you here anyway. It’s like, my favorite place to go in Seoul, haven’t I told you before?”
You have, Mark thought. But he was okay with hearing it again.
You squealed when the raindrops got heavier and the rain started pouring faster on the two of you, and Mark found himself laughing at your running figure. He was right behind you, praying that you don’t slip on one of the rocks and break your leg on the hiking trail, but he encouraged you with sweet comments and a hand on the small of your back as he watched the tip of the hill appear right in front of his very eyes, your body coming to a satisfied halt when you reached your destination.
“Tada!” you grinned at him, twirling a little like a ballerina, showing him the place with outstretched arms. He tried hard to observe the place, but his eyes stayed glued to your excited figure, gaze bearing into yours as you looked at him, amidst a little flustered, with sparkly orbs and a bright smile on your face. Your hair was a mess, his gray hoodie enveloping your body was slowly growing darker in color from absorbing the rain, and your sneakers were getting a bit muddy from walking around the place. He wanted to remember this moment forever, he thought– this version of you, the smiley expression on your face, the carefree and excited nature of your step.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” you exclaimed, jumping around and nearing the boy, but as you went to take his hand to drag him around the top of the hill once more, your feet slipped and you fell forward, a surprised squeak battling its way out of your throat.
Your whole life flashed in front of your very eyes in that moment, embarrassment spreading down your neck at the fact that you were about to fall face first onto the ground in front of your crush of a few months, before your body collided with a soft, yet firm mass engulfing you closer. A pair of strong arms steadied you against his chest, and when you looked up at your friend, you swear all words were taken out of your dictionary, the sight leaving you speechless.
“It is,” he gaped, eyes bearing into yours. Mark was agreeing with you, but something in the back of your head was telling you that he didn’t really admire this place as much as you did– his curious gaze was always plastered somewhere completely else.
That place being your face, of course. And your eyes, your cheeks, the mess of your bangs, and occasionally– screw that, almost always– your lips. Much like in that moment, a few centimeters away from his face, so inviting he thought it would be a crime to contain the urge.
And so he didn’t– he didn’t control his feelings and the ever-so growing yearning for you, as he silently leaned towards your face and captured his lips with yours in a firm, yet short kiss.
He looked at you with a nervous tint behind his gaze when he leaned away, the sight of your wide eyes staring at him making a slight flush grow on his cheeks. You looked so beautiful in that moment– flustered, surprised, with messy hair and lips still apart– and he was relieved to not find a hint of a displeased emotion in your expression.
“Okay, so- well-” you stuttered, laughing to yourself, “this didn’t go as I planned, but I guess I’m happy as long as the final result is the same,” you hummed, standing on your tippy-toes and pressing your lips against him once more, this time letting yourself enjoy the moment fully, mouth moving against his in a careful, yet excited rhythm. He tasted like the strawberry candy you offered him on the bottom of the trail and smelled a bit like rain, the mixture always staying in the depths of your mind as his warmth enveloped you in comfort and a feeling of home.
“The final result being…?” he asked when you pulled apart once again, a dazed expression overtaking his sharp features.
“Us,” you shrugged, “like this,” you clarified.
Mark laughed at that, hugging you closer to his chest. You rested your head on his shoulder, listening to the sound of raindrops washing away the top layer of dirt off the rocks on the tip of the hill, hands sneaking around his waist and enjoying the way they wrapped around him so tightly and so comfortably. You in his hoodie, in your favorite place, standing in his arms. It was raining, but it didn’t matter.
“Mark?”
“Hm?”
“If we ever get lost, or something happens… bring me back here, okay?” you mumbled close to his ear, lips gently glazing the skin of his ear, making goosebumps appear all over your new lover. “I’m convinced that this place could fix everything.”
��Even us?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not allowed to ever leave me now, what would there be to fix between us?” you smacked his shoulder, snickering to yourself.
“You never know,” he laughed, “what if I accidentally mess up somewhere along the way?” he asked, threading his fingers through your hair, smoothing down the wet mess.
“Okay then,” you hummed, “even us.”
Staring into your eyes, letting the moment play out by itself, Mark swore he’s never felt more at peace. He wondered if it was the effect of the place, the rain, or just your sheer presence. “I’ll remember that,” he giggled before he let go of your body, petting your head as he took a hold of your hand, tugging you down from where you came from, “now let’s go home before we catch a cold.”
Nodding, following the man as you both carefully, yet fastly made it down the trail, you enjoyed the way his hand fit into yours and the way you knew that after this, you can’t ever come back to being friends with Mark Lee. He was all yours, completely, utterly yours, and you knew in the back of your head, that you were his– and nothing will ever change that.
You would always come back to the hill with him. It felt ridiculous to think about you two ever having to fix anything between the two of you back then, but even in that moment, you knew that for him, you’d keep trying. As long as he does– as long as he remembers.
Where do broken hearts go? You guess they always come right back to the place they come from– and they leave glued back together every single time.
You guess your heart never really left the hill.
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alternate 8x06 where Buck doesn't race ahead:
They go to the movie. They share popcorn and hold hands and Buck watches a captivated Tommy more than the screen. He's thinking about date nights where they don't have to worry about two cars or parking. He's thinking about going to sleep next to Tommy and waking up beside him instead of one of them rushing back to their place for clothes or bc they have a shift soon. He's thinking about the drawer he gave Tommy turning into half a closet and all of Tommy's things in his space becoming their space..
..and then he remembers: Tommy has a garage with a carlift and engine parts and a muay thai setup. Tommy has furniture. Tommy has a yard and a garden and trees. Tommy has a house.
Buck turns his attention back to the movie. Now he's thinking about the illogical nature of asking Tommy to move into the loft: it's not fair to Tommy and also it's not the best idea. He doesn't know what the best idea is, yet, and maybe he won't know until he talks to Tommy.
Because that's where he went wrong in the past: moving in with girlfriends without actually talking about it first, it just sort of happened or was expected. and they all left him. He doesn't want Tommy to leave him. They've been together six months and haven't talked about the future. Buck is thinking about the future now so he needs to talk to Tommy - see where he's at and how he feels.
Back at the loft after the movie, in Buck's bed after sex, Tommy can sense Buck's restless mind. He checks in, because he always does, and Buck hesitates. Then asks: "Do you ever think about the future?"
And Tommy says sure, so Buck presses for details, curious, and then it's Tommy's turn to hesitate. But he mentions some stuff about work - flying certain crafts, heading up a training program, a few bucket list items, but all in all just keep doing a job he loves and keep renovating his little house or maybe there's a little holiday cabin that needs some work.
Nothing about Buck. Nothing about a partner or a family. Buck's heart does something funny in his chest, something uncomfortable, and his nerves kick in properly.
"What about you?" Tommy asks, and Buck swears he tenses under him.
"Captaincy, one day, I hope. I travelled a lot in my youth so I don't really have the bug for that anymore, but I was alone then. I think I'd wanna go places if I wasn't alone. And I don't wanna live here forever, obviously." He means the loft, but he's not closed off to the idea of living outside LA. And since he has no self preservation, he adds: "And.. you." He doesn't say mention getting married or being a father, because that feels like too much all at once.
His nerves are having a field day as Tommy remains quiet.
Buck leans up, terrified and desperate to see Tommy's face. "Do you.. see me in your future?"
They're naked and pressed together under the tangled sheets. Tommy's hand has stilled where it was tracing soothing patterns on Buck's arm. It isn't right. The air feels charged in a bad way, like waiting for lightning to strike.
"Evan.."
"I love you." He doesn't want to say it like this, not for the first time, but it suddenly feels urgent, like tommy has to know right now and maybe it'll change the way he just said his name - like an apology, like a regret.
"You don't love me. You love the idea of me."
And that- that's not true. And it hurts. And Tommy's face has fallen. "No, I-"
Tommy sits up, dislodging Buck, and swings his legs over the side of the bed.
"Wait- where are you going?" Tommy's gathering his things. He's getting dressed. Anxiety and dread swirl in the pit of Buck's stomach.
"I'm going home."
Home. It hurts to hear. "You don't have to leave-" Buck knows he's pleading, he doesn't care. He scrambles off the bed, tugging on his boxers as Tommy reaches for his shirt.
"I think it's for the best."
"No, it's not- we can talk about this."
"There's nothing to talk about."
Buck stills. Tommy's holding his jacket, standing at the top of the stairs, trying to school his features to hide his emotions. He does that. He hides things. "What's happening right now?"
For a brief moment, tommy lets devastation show on his face, before it's tucked away behind a mask.
"I thought.." He doesn't know what he thought. He'd hoped Tommy felt the same, that they were on the same page. Six months in and he can already picture a life with Tommy.
"I'm sorry."
Sorry you thought this was more than what it was. Buck feels sick. His heart is stuttering. "Tommy-"
"Goodnight, Evan."
It feels like Goodbye, and Buck can't find the words to make Tommy stay before he's disappearing down the stairs and the loft door is closing behind him.
Sometimes lightning strikes the same place twice. Maybe it's connected to the string of bad luck that's followed him his whole life. Maybe he's jinxed, or cursed. Or maybe it's his own fault, his choices acting as a conductor for the kind of carnage most people only experience once.
#bucktommy#.txt#fic fodder#evantommy#tevan kinkley firepilot#fanfiction#the abby bs does not exist in my canon. i also wanted to explore buck thinking through things a little and them still blowing up#in his face bc tommy has untold relationship trauma so foregt moving in together bc ily would spook him. he'd been ignoring the signs#with evan - didn't realise he was falling for him or rather the idea of him. but he knows how this ends and it doens't end well for tommy..
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huge ass post with MadaTobi Babies
its finally done, its almost 1 am, I started at 7 pm
OK SO HERE THEY ARE
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So a little lore and then I'm gonna introduce them.
As you may remember from my earlier post, Tobirama (they married when he was 19) after the marriage, decided to create a child to tie Madara to him and the village stronger just in case Madara would try to leave the village. He couldn't destroy the village if there's his kid running around, right?
So Tobirama started learning biology pretty early in their marriage + Itama (@oh-no-its-bird 's one) helped a lot too. Mito helped with the seals to make an incubator. Tobirama didn't want a surrogate mother just because he was afraid that Madara would get attached to the mother of his children and he didn’t want that (plus he's jealous but doesn't realise it 🤭).
He created some sort of very real transformation jutsu that would trick his body to think that he has ovaries and he'd get the eggs that way! But he couldn't keep uterus and ect for 9 months, plus this jutsu is HARD to keep on for very long periods of time. It's easier to make a few organs from chakra that could produce real eggs than a whole new system. Plus Tobirama really didn't want to get pregnant and he wasn't sure he wouldn't fuck up his own body. Tobirama, with as gray morale as his, could just scrap failed embryo and start anew. He can't do that with his own body.
Anyway, incubator it is!
At first he did all of that in secret, stealing Madara's sperm (that's... a thing now) for his first experiments while they had sex. (Tobirama fucking Madara real hard that he’d pass out after and then take samples) ANYWAY
So he announced about his plans when the first stable and pretty healthy embryo was ready.
The first baby, Motoko! The melanin quee. She got all of it. Nothing left for her brother or sister. Ofc she's not THAT dark skinned, but she is for an Uchiha who are mostly white as a paper in canon.
(Tobirama is 21 for reference)
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Her name literally means "Experiment seed first". Tobirama named this project this way for secrecy if someone would overhear his talks with Itama and Mito. It’d be Uchiha clan head’s child so hush-hush.
The name meanings + kanji! Hope I got them right, I have no japanese knowledge
oh and there is flirting with past and time in general in this name so it might be Tobirama reminiscing his first timeline. Like Motoko didn't even EXIST before.
So when he presented the embryo to Madara and Hashirama, they were ecstatic of course.
Madara almost cried. Hashirama became a river of tears.
Madara never really hoped for his own children since he married Tobirama cuz, well, they're both men. Doesn't really work that way. But Tobirama made it work and Madara is in love all over again.
Madara refuses to leave their future baby for a long time, just looking at them in the incubator. But the baby doesn’t need much there so Tobirama makes him leave and live a life while they’re waiting when the kid is ready.
Oh and Madara was SO against the name that basically means “experiment seed 1”. But when Tobirama asked if he got smth better, he ran away to his compound and tried to find the PERFECT names. He got lost in so many variations and never really decided. So when the kid was “born” (Tobirama just… took her out of the incubator*) and medics checked her, Madara took her in his hands, started crying and while he was having “A moment” Tobirama wrote her name as Motoko, cuz they needed it for administration and Uchiha clan.
*come to think about it, wouldn’t it fuck up a kid a bit? i mean, children develop under pressure of their mother’s organs and they’re in tight position. maybe test tube kids don’t really like to be wrapped in cloth? as i know ppl do that with newborns to imitate feelings like they’re in the womb.
But this name also can be read as “Festival child” so its kinda cute? Madara def told her that that’s exactly what her name means. No seed 1.
Interesting thing, when Tobirama made the baby, he thought he’d make a boy first, a heir. But something went wrong and the kid developed to be a girl. Tobirama was confused why. But technically, the kid is a boy with XY chromosomes but bc of their development and being a genetic experiment something went wrong and they developed as a female (its a real thing btw).
In the long run it didn’t really matter except that Motoko can’t have her own kids bc of all hormonal weirdness. And I don’t think that Tobirama would figure all of that out. He’d think he made some mistake when choosing gender, but kid was born healthy after all. Ofc when they found out that Motoko can’t have kids Tobirama will blame himself, that he ruined his daughter’s life. But she’s would be ok, she had her little siblings growing up and other clan kids so she’s done babysitting.
Okay for her personality! I think she’s kinda like Shisui? Very happy kid, spoiled rotten by her uncles (Hashirama and Izuna compete who is THE BEST uncle) and Tou-san (Madara). Btw Tobirama refuses to be called Kaa-san or any motherly terms. He’s barely holding a kunai in his pockets when Madara calls him wife.
But she’s also very Uchiha with temper and protectiveness. She was trained to be very much Uchiha cuz she’s the future clan head so her jutsu’s are strongly fire natured. Oh and her secondary nature is eath! She took it from the Senju side :)
Good sensor, but not as strong as her other siblings. Have really good chakra reserves and vicious on the battlefield.
Surprisingly looks really like Madara and Izuna’s mom. Her face is all that. Has soft dark hair and soft features. Considered to be very beautiful among Uchihas.
Oh and as you can see, I wrote that she has the Mangekyo. She got it when she was around 14. She was already really strong and cuz of her family, she got cocky. So, you ask me, who died? I think it’d be her female teammate (maybe from Hatake clan? idk I take suggestions) who she was in love with.
So yeah, she got a reality check. Because she got Mangekyo, Tobirama didn’t want her baby to lose her sight, so he improved his own seals that helped him with his albinism. Seals improve his sight and protect from the sun. So he drew Motoko tattoos on her face, like his. Years later it’d be a new feature of the main line.
But before that, when Motoko is 12 and Tobirama is 29, after 8 years of research (and possibly sealing/killing Black Zetsu in the meantime) he decided to try to make another kid. He still wanted a boy.
And he was successful. Meet Akemori! The Music King
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The name was suggested by Hashirama. It means “red forest”. Red eyes, plus he sensed that the kid has a bit of mokuton!
But on the downside, Akemori was born an albino. Tobirama himself was really lucky, cuz he had a strong health and I hc that he still has healing abilities, but not as strong as Hashirama’s. But it still helped him in his childhood.
Not for Akemori tho. He was a sickly child, almost blind and burned on the sun easily. Tobirama had to put seals on him when he was about 3 years old. But even then his eyesight was still poor. Seals can’t fix everything.
Tobirama, once again, feels guilty that he didn’t notice any mistakes when he was creating the child.
And being born almost blind in Uchiha clan of all people wasn’t really nice. Though he is still clan head’s child and has a whole bunch of very powerful adults to protect him. Plus his older sister who loves him very much and wants to protect him from any harm.
But because of health issues Akemori was never really trained in shinobi arts. Well, he was trained (his fathers are literally… them) just that he could protect himself, but no one expected him to go on missions or even become a shinobi at all. Uchiha elders treated him as a potential political marriage pawn (even though Madara and Tobirama would never let them do that). Akemori caught on that and never had the motivation to become a shinobi at all. He was offended and said that he’d NEVER become a shinobi.
Madara was a little mad at that, cuz they’re SHINOBI clan, what the hell. But he shut up the second Tobirama sent him The Look. Tobirama was ok with Akemori’s wishes, like his twin and himself are shinobi by necessity, but they finds more joy in research.
Akemori was trained in Mokuton by Hashirama of course, even though Senju elders bitched about him selling clan secrets to Uchiha. But Hokage does what he wants.
Akemori’s mokuton isn’t as strong as Hashirama’s, plus he never really wanted to fight. But he was good with plants so he joined Itama-oji in his research a lot! Especially since Hashirama is busy with Hokage stuff, Itama was delighted to get a new helper.
Akemori is also a really good sensor because, like Tobirama, he had to compensate his bad eyesight. Basically, Akemori is a very Tobirama’s kid.
Surprisingly, he awakened the Sharingan! He was 6 and some foreign ninja (prob Kumo) thought it’d be cool to steal a kid with the Sharingan. Because of his naturally red eyes Akemori got stolen. Ofc when Tobirama felt his kid out of Konoha bonds, he sounded the alarm in the whole Uchiha clan to check on their kids whereabouts and was first to chase the kidnappers.
Kumo nin were killed by a very mad Tobirama and bc of the stress Akemori awakened the Sharingan. It wasn’t much of a use for him, since he’s not a shinobi. But at least Uchihas acknowledge him as a fellow Uchiha and not just Tobirama’s carbon copy.
(btw noone outside immediate family actually KNOWS where the kids coming from. They don't see any pregnant women in the main line house or anyone in the clan with the same time who gave birth these days. Tobirama himself or god forbid Madara aren't ever seen pregnant. Where the fuck kids are coming from? Do they just spawn in the house or what)
(they basically do spawn)
Sharingan helps Akemori to actually see! At least he could see something and could read. But stll, its not really strong, cuz not trained enough.
Basically Akemori is a perfect mix between Senju and Uchiha with Sharingan and Mokuton, but he was nerfed by albinism.
Being almost blind boy who can navigate only with his sensing, doesn’t gives him much hobbies. Ofc he helps Itama and he studies plants and medicine a lot with him, but he still needs a hobby. Books don’t work for him, any type of handicrafts too cuz he can’t just use Sharingan all the time, his head hurts and sometimes he doesn't want to remember a whole book perfectly. He’s also not very interested in training as a hobby.
So in his tweens while Itama and he were traveling (with Uchiha escort (prob Motoko) just in case) to the near town for some medicine and plants, he noticed (heard) a group of musicians and he fell in love.
Itama immediately bought him an instrument (maybe Biwa?).
And now the second son of Uchiha Madara became a musician! Isn’t it fun. Elders are furious.
Madara was baffled but “You do you, son. When you learn, show us? Oh and maybe you can copy someone else’s playing, but be discreet. They may not like that you’d try to copy their music. Shinobi don’t really like when we copy their jutsus too”
With age he learned to play several instruments (I take suggestions on which ones). Some people even thought that he’s trained to become geisha (he's not, he's just a pretty boy who plays music for fun).
When he grow old enough, Itama started to give him weed for inspiration and to relax. Akemori is prone to quiet anxiety attacks after he was kidnapped.
Okay, the final kid. She was born 4 years later after Akemori.
Nari! The pout queen
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Madara finally got to name his kid. Her name means “Calm, harmonic village”. Yeah he decided to name his kid after a village. It's still better than Konohamaru
And she’s the final kid, because Tobirama finally got it and produced a “normal” healthy kid. Plus he's not sure how many kids (3) and students (another 4 and Kagami) he can actually handle.
She has very Uchiha coloring, but Tobirama’s facial features. She also inherited his stare.
She’s the baby of the family, but she grew up slightly strict and serious cuz she stayed a lot with Tobirama, cuz he decided he won’t spend another maternity leave out of the Tower. The first two times were a disaster when he came back.
Tobirama left on maternity leaves just cuz he needed to monitor his kids health, especially Akemori’s. Idk about Konoha maternity leaves, but they should be really short, since well shinobi are needed all year long and they can’t wait for mother-shinobi to spend a whole year on that. Though on the other side, mothers need time to recover or they won’t be able to perform good on their missions (plus they probably have a milk smell lol). Who knows, maybe Tobirama was the one who drafted a law about at least one year maternity leave. He got very popular among kunoichi (can you believe that I just remembered that this word exists)
Nari is really like Izuna, but got her temper under control. Maybe think of teen Kakashi but without dead fathers and angst. But also brat.
Her chakra is water nature and she has 0 affinity with fire. Still she did produce great fireball as their traditions dictated, even though it took her many trials and errors. After that she decided that she hates traditions like that. Got really rebellious in her teens, about 13 and even tried to challenge her sister (25) for the clan head position. She didn’t win ofc and was bitter about it.
Also because her sister and brother both have seals, she always dreamed of the same, cuz as a baby she thought that it’s something special for their family. But Tobirama doesn’t think she needs them cuz her sight is perfect and her skin is pale, but it doesn’t burn like Akemori’s.
It triggered interest for seals in general cuz “FINE if you won’t give me seals, I’ll just make them myself!”
Tobirama was completely okay with it. He always strives to encourage kids when they want to learn something new. So he sicked her at Mito. Though his aunt was quite happy to teach her niece sealing art.
also idk why i write evil near her. she's just a brat. though she has the potential to become Azula ish
And that’s it!
I will write more about them later cuz im tired. I have some other ideas I wanna expand. Like Tobirama introducing his pups to his Hatake aunt (did i tell you that i LOVE Hatakes?),
Oh and fun little sketches close ups for a treat
i love this Hashirama with the kids, ugh he's so father
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if you have any questions you can send them to my ask box!
#madatobi#hibiscusseaart mdtb time travel marriage au#my art#senju tobirama#madara uchiha#madatobi babies#mdtb#time travel#tbmd#tobimada#naruto#btw Izuna was so baffled when Tobirama made one kid#what’s to say about others. Though he loves them very much cuz they’re still aniki’s kids.#pls be nice i spend a lot of time on this post#tobirama and itama are twins#@oh-no-its-bird 's weed itama
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Inescapable Part 2 (Steddie X You)
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A/N: Yes I stole the Jack Skellington thing from Fargo and yes I'm aware its not Halloween but I need this damnit so :D.
Warnings: Older (Early 30s) Prisoner Steddie (Daddy Steve and Sir Eddie) & Young (Early 20s) Fem Sub college student Y/N, SMUT, Dom/Sub dynamics, home invasion role-play, degrading, light slapping, spanking, choking, overstimulation, DP, LOTS of dirty talk, squirting, aftercare, I think I got everything. This is all consenting and a safe word is established.
ANGST, they did break out of prison to see her, the do play with her a bit (taking pictures to show they're watching), they do get jealous and she does what she can to egg that on (brief), cliffhanger ending because I'm me and I love yalls reactions😈 😉.
Enjoy!
Word Count: 4095
Chapter 1/ Tip me <3
How? They can’t… Are they just trying to intimidate me? Scare me? What…
Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell startling you three feet in the air. After hastily hiding the letter in one of your drawers, you tiptoed to the front door and breathed a sigh of relief when you saw your friends on the other side.
Gathering some chairs, you all sat outside as the evening began and you prayed none of them would notice how on edge you were. With every snap of a twig or smell of cigarette smoke, your head would quickly turn in that direction to see what was coming for you.
Normal people would have been scared at the thought of two convicts threatening to appear at their house but you’d be lying if you didn’t say you were excited to see what they had planned until you remembered they were stuck in a cell and your head would hang.
“What’s wrong, Y/N? You look sad.”, one of your friends asked as he tilted his head to find your eye line.
“Huh? No, I’m just tired. With school, work, and everything else…I just need a break.”, you giggle as you try to brush off his worry.
As the boy nodded, his palm reached out to pat your thigh but when it lingered the disgust that filled your eyes was replaced with curiosity. If they really were watching, they would hate that this boy was touching you but more than anything they would be pissed you didn’t push him away.
Without fully weighing the consequences, you grabbed his hand and threaded your fingers between his. The boy smiled before scooting his chair closer to yours.
I shouldn’t be doing this… There’s no way they are even here to see me doing something I shouldn’t be. Fuck what the fuck is wrong with me…
“Hello.”
A small child dressed like Woody from Toy Story smiled your way as he held out his little pumpkin for you to give him his candy.
“Trick or Treat!”
Grinning, you gave him two pieces of chocolate and he beamed right back before handing you a red envelope.
“What’s this, sweetheart?”
“Jack told me to give this to you.”
“Jack?”, you ask but the little boy just giggles as he runs back to his group of friends.
Continuing to smile, you shake your head as you glance over the piece of paper he gave you. There were no distinguishing markers or anything indicating who it was from. Finding a couple of Polaroids, a shaky breath leaves your lips when you turn them over.
Within the photos were images of you from outside your window putting on your dress for the evening. Rising to your feet, your eyes scanned around the neighborhood in search for any sign of them or anything that stood out but all you saw were kids and adults trick or treating.
“Y/N? Are you—”
Powerwalking into your home, you made a beeline for your bedroom as you looked around and found nothing.
“Y/N? What’s going on, baby?”
“Don’t call me that, Justin.”, you snapped, slightly annoyed that they had successfully rattled you.
“I’m sorry. I just…I know you’ve been through a lot these past few months with Derek, the internship denial, and then overworking yourself. I’m here if you ever need anything.”
You needed something but it wasn’t anything this man could give you. However, he may be able to help facilitate what you actually needed…
Roughly grabbing the collar of his jacket, you brought his lips to yours hoping he didn’t feel the cringe in your face at the fact that he tasted nothing like Eddie or Steve. Justin’s hands went to work, pulling your waist to his as he backed you towards your kitchen counter and lifted you onto it.
The sound of something crashing pushed you two apart and you quickly ran outside to see your friends giggling as someone had drunkenly fallen out of his chair and broke the glass in his hand.
Nervously laughing, you leaned against one of the cars and wiped away the stray tear that had fallen.
“Ok, guys. I think I’m worn out for the evening.”
“Oh come on, nana.”, one of your friends teased.
“No, no. I have a class tomorrow afternoon.”, you lied.
Smiling, they helped you gather the chairs, placing them back inside and you watched as everyone left but Justin lingered behind.
“Do, um, do you want me to stay with you? We don’t have to do anything. You just seem a bit jittery.”
“I’m ok but I do appreciate the offer.”
Your friend seemed to buy your smile and you watch as he gets into his car and disappears down the street. As you turn to head back inside, something on your windshield catches your eye. With a shaky hand you grab the Polaroid that was stuck under the wiper and turned it around to see the image of you making out with Justin on the counter in your kitchen. Underneath were big bold letters written in black marker.
“Bad Girl.”
########################
Running through your home, you double checked to make sure every window was locked and bolted your front and back door shut. You weren’t going to make this easy for them and as the adrenaline coursed through your veins you couldn’t help but smirk.
This is the most alive you had felt in so long.
“Come on, boys! Is that all you got!?”, you shouted into the void.
A knock on the back window made you jump before sprinting in that direction as best you could in your dress and bare feet, annoyed when no one was there. The lights in your house abruptly turned off and you squeaked as you realized you were now at a disadvantage.
Tiptoeing backwards into your living room, your calves hit something hard making you wince when you realized it was your coffee table. Something fell in your bedroom down the hall and you quickly ran to the front door with the plan to cut around outside to your backyard but as soon as you turned the handle you were met with a tall, broad figure donning a Jack Skellington mask.
Fear froze you only for a moment before you tried to slam the door in his face but he blocked it with a loud slam of his palm and you turned to run towards your bedroom to hide. After shutting and locking the door, you turned in circles debating on where to hide, finally deciding on your closet.
He’s not trying to bang in the door. Why isn’t he trying to come in?
As soon as you opened your closet door, you got your answer as another figure in a Ghost face mask wrapped his arms around you and covered your mouth as you tried to fight him. With little effort, he dragged you with him as he let his friend in who had been waiting patiently on the other side.
Casually striding forward, the man invades your space and removes his Jack Skellington mask to reveal Steve underneath.
“H-How?”
Calmly smirking, his strong fingers pinch your cheeks as his forehead presses against yours.
“You don’t speak unless you’re spoken to or you need to say ‘Red’ to stop. Do I make myself clear, little girl?”
When you didn’t immediately respond, he pushed your head against the other man’s shoulder who ripped off the Ghost Face mask revealing an equally annoyed Eddie.
“If you want tonight to go smoothly it’s best to say ‘Yes, Daddy’ or ‘Sir’ when you’re asked something and do what we fucking say.”, he growled between clenched teeth. “Now, was what Daddy said fucking clear?”
“Yes, Sir.”
Fingers threaded roughly through your hair and pulled back.
“Not to me, little girl! To him!”
“Yes, Daddy, I fucking understand!”
“So is this what you’ve been doing with your time, huh. Trying to get your needy hands on any fucking man you can. First the picture you sent us making out with some asshole and now we see you dry humping some asshole in your kitchen. Fucking whore.”
“What picture—”
Steve’s palm collides with your cheek making you gasp.
“I’m sorry. I don’t remember asking you anything.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy.”
As his angry eyes scan you over, he chuckles as he notices your wiggling in Eddie’s arms start to become less forceful.
“You don’t even remember sending that polaroid to us do you, little girl?”
“No, Daddy. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”, you mumble as a tear falls down your cheek. You genuinely never wanted to hurt them.
“Don’t worry, little girl. You’re going to make it up to us.”, Eddie declares before pushing you to your knees between them. You watch with wide eyes as they pushed down their prison sweats and their cocks spring free. The anticipation of the evening had them hard the entire time they spent watching you and as your palm barely makes it around their girths, they hiss and breathe a sigh of relief at the contact.
Your lips take in Steve first making him grunt as his palm balances on top of your head.
“Fuck, Y/N. Do you know h-how fucking long we’ve waited to feel your mouth on us?”
Moving to Eddie’s leaking tip, he groans as your head begins to bob while your hand continues to pump the other man.
“You can f-finally live out your fantasy, Harrington. J-Just—shit—hold her hair like this and…” Gripping your hair tightly, the metalhead thrusts his hips allowing his dick to hit the back of your throat as you gag and squeeze your eyes shut. “That’s it, fuck, and a little whore like her can really take it.”
Yanking you off him, Eddie practically pushes you onto Steve’s cock barely allowing you time to breathe as he fucks your face.
“And she fucking loves this shit. Don’t you, baby?” After bunching the bottom of your dress around your waist, he aggressively slides his hand under the waistband of your panties and glides his fingers between your dripping cunt. “Yeah ya do. Say it.”
“Yes, Sir, I love it.”
With a smug smile, they take turns using you till your make up and drool streak your face.
“Goddamn! Her throat feels so fucking good.” Grabbing your neck, Steve pulls you to your feet as his lips roughly crash to yours while Eddie removes his clothes behind you.
After placing himself on your bed, the long-haired boy wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you on to him, maneuvering your body until you were sitting directly on his face. His fingers rip at your panties, tossing them haphazardly on the floor before shoving his nose between your folds.
“Fuck, I’ve been dreaming about eating this sweet pussy till you’re begging me to stop.”
You loudly moan as his tongue licks a stripe through you and your fingers promptly cling to his hair beneath you. A hand suddenly touches your side as your dress is lifted over your head and your eyes meet Steve’s before scanning his naked form. God, they both looked so good.
“Does his mouth feel good, little girl?”
“Y-Yes, Daddy.”
Pinching your cheeks, he glared your way but his eyes soften as they drifted down your neck to your breasts and to your tummy. Sweat was sticking to your skin as your hips rolled and you mewled, shuddering against Eddie as you came.
Wrapping his arms tightly around you, the metalhead held you still as he continued to devour you. Tears fell down your face as you continued to cum on his tongue but he wouldn’t allow you to leave. You squirmed to get away from him, succeeding only for a moment when you pulled his hair a bit too roughly and he let you go.
As you fell onto your stomach on the mattress, Steve reached over and pressed his palm against your shoulder blade to hold you down and spank your behind.
“Hey! Where the fuck are you going? We aren’t even close to done using you.”, he growled as he spanked you again much harder than before. “I would have thought a little slut like you would have wanted to cum on his face some more.”
Lost in his need for you, Eddie pulled at your ankles and lifted your ass till you were exposed for him.
“O-Oh fuck!”, you groan as he gradually guides his cock into your aching core.
“How does she feel, Munson?”
He didn’t verbally respond but his palm yanked your hair so your back was against his chest.
“Fuck, sweetheart. Your pussy is just squeezing my dick. Y-You like this don’t you? Bad little girl letting us stretch out her cunt. I-If someone caught us, you’d be in so much trouble.”
“Oh my god.”
Eddie’s hips slammed into yours and your head leaned against his shoulder as his palm clung to your throat.
“We—fuck—we jerked off to this moment so m-many times, baby. Do you still want us to fill up your little pussy?”
“Y-Yes, yes Sir, please.”, you whine as his cock continues to punch into the spongy spot inside of you.
“Beg me, Y/N. Beg for my cum.”
“P-Please, Sir. Please fill me up. I need it!”
You don’t see it but Eddie winks towards Steve as he pushes your face back into the mattress and pounds into you till your body shakes and the coil snaps. As you wait to feel the metalhead’s release, the other boy roughly lifts you off the bed and places you on top of him as he lays back flat with his head on your pillows.
“Wait, but—”
Fingers wrap around your throat as Steve pulls you down till your nose is to his.
“What, little girl? You thought after everything you’ve done that we would just give you what you want? You thought you could get away with it because we were locked up, didn’t you?”
“Y-Yes, Daddy. I’m so sorry.””
“Not yet but you will be. Now…put my cock inside that little pussy.” Releasing his hold on you slightly, he allows you to move just enough to lower yourself down onto him, both of you groaning as he sheathes inside you easily. “Goddamn it. You’re so fucking tight. Don’t move…I just want to feel you…shit.”
Your head fell back as you did everything you could to not move your waist. You could feel him deep inside you and any little twitch had him hitting that now over stimulated spot inside you making you desperate to cum again.
“Hey. What the fuck did I say?! Don’t. Move!”, he growled as he spanked your ass again hard.
“Oh, Steve, you can’t blame her. Little slut like her is just so desperate especially with a cock so close. Right, baby? Say it. Say you’re a desperate little slut.”
“Please… I want to cum.”
“Now she wants to cum. She was just running from it earlier!”, Eddie scolded as he pressed his face to the side of yours. “You wanna cum again you listen to what we say. Good girls do what they’re fucking told.”
“I-I-I’m a desperate little…little slut…”
At your words, Steve’s palms hold your hips and guide your movements allowing you to grind against him.
“Good…good girl. We’ll make you deal, Y/N. If you cum again on Daddy’s cock, we’ll fill you up just like you want. We can do it at the same time…” As you bounce harder on top of him, Steve’s hands roam your body and roughly knead your tits. “Has anyone ever taken you here, sweetheart?”
At Eddie’s question, he guides one of his fingers inside of your ass and it takes all of his friend’s energy to not cum on the spot when he watches your mouth fall open in a silent moan as you come undone.
“I’ll take that as a no.”, he chuckles.
“N-No, Sir. C-Can…fuck…can I have water please?”
After nodding, you watch as he disappears out of your room and Steve searches your bedside drawer before producing a bottle of lube. As you wait you can’t help but reach out to run your palm delicately down his chest. You could feel his eyes watching you as you traced the faded scar just below his neck and down to the darker ones on his side.
When Eddie came back, he threw his body in front of yours and handed you the glass you asked for, thanking him, and chugging it back. His scars were much darker but like Derek said in his interview with them, they were similar to Steve’s. Just as you had with him, your fingers traced fading marks and every tattoo you passed with fascination.
When your eyes met his chocolate ones, you rushed forward to capture his lips with yours and without hesitation he took you in his arms, cupping your face to bring you as close to him as possible.
Mewling, you sink down on to his cock, capturing his own moans on your tongue as you roll your hips. When you freeze, Eddie’s waves tickle your face as he looks behind you to see Steve lathering lube between your cheeks before stroking it along his length.
“Remember, just say ‘Red’ if you want to stop.”, he whispers.
“Yes, Sir.”
Straddling his knees over Eddie’s thighs and your feet, Steve exhales and guides himself gradually inside of your ass. Your nails abruptly dig into the metalhead’s shoulders as you bury your face into his neck.
“Hey, hey. You’re doing so good, princess. Look at me, pretty girl.”, he coos as he lightly but firmly tugs at your hair. “There she is our beautiful girl. Are you alright?”
“Hurts, Sir.”
“Do you want to stop?”
“No, Sir.”
Next to your ear, you hear him run his tongue along something before a jolt of electricity runs through you as his thumb slowly circles your clit and Steve inches a bit more forward.
“Fuck—Good girl, honey. I’m almost…I’m almost all the way in…you’re doing so good.”
“I love you both…so much…I’m so sorry for hurting you…trying to make you jealous.”
When Steve’s hips connect to yours, you shudder as his breath ghosts your shoulder.
“We—mmm—we love you to, Y/N. Fuck, Ed, I’m not gonna last long.”, he quickly pants out as he hangs his head and does small thrusts to allow you to get used to them both inside you. “Are you ready, baby?”
As you nod your head, Eddie pulls on your hair again a bit more roughly and you know what he wants.
“Yes, Daddy, I’m ready. Please…I need you both.”
The metalhead’s arms hold you to his chest and Steve’s fingers dig into your hips as they both pump into you in the same rhythm turning you to jelly as you melt into their embrace.
“That’s it, sweetheart, fuck you feel so good. Taking us so fucking well. Who do you—mmm—who do you belong to, little girl?”
“Y-You and…and—fuuuuuck—”
A palm wraps around your throat, pulling you till your nose was squished against Eddie’s.”
“Finish that fucking sentence. Who do you belong to, Y/N?”
“You and Steve.”, you moaned.
“Say it louder, whore, so we know you fucking understand.”, the man behind you growled roughly as he pressed his chest into your back, pushing him impossibly deep inside you.
“I belong to Eddie and Steve! Fuck, harder, please.”
Both men thrust aggressively into you, Eddie holding you flat against him as Steve’s palm gripped your headboard for more leverage.
“Some…something’s happening…” Your body shook as an overwhelming feeling of pleasure coursed through you and the rubber band in your belly snapped.
“Oh my God.”
As your arousal warmed him, Eddie grunted loudly in your ear as his pace faltered and you felt him warm your insides. Steve soon followed, circling his arms around you and clinging to your slightly limp form as he emptied inside you.
##################
You weren’t sure how long you were asleep for but you woke up to the soft feeling of their lips and fingers roaming your skin. When your eyes found Eddie’s in front of you, he gently smiled your way before rolling out of your bed and comically falling to your floor making you laugh as Steve shook his head behind you.
Bouncing to his feet, the metalhead collected you into his arms and waited for his friend to finish getting the shower ready. After the three of you climbed in, you watched them as they exhaled pleasantly at the water pressure.
Opening your different soaps and shampoo, they inhaled each and every one, even the ones they didn’t use as if trying to capture your different smells in their memory.
Lurching forward, your arms wrapped tightly around Eddie who promptly tangled his fingers in your hair as he pressed your face into his chest. You immediately felt it within his energy…he didn’t want to let you go and you didn’t want him to.
Steve gently but firmly pried you two apart, turning off the shower, and guiding you out to dry you off. After placing you on the edge of the bed, he found one of your shirts and playfully pushed it over your head with a big smile that you tried to return but struggled through the tears that were beginning to fall.
As they began to reach for their prison uniforms on the floor, you couldn’t stop yourself as you ran to grab what you could of their clothes and hugged them to you as you pressed your back to a corner.
“Please…”
“Y/N, we have to go back. This was for one night.”, Steve sighed as he tried to sound authoritative.
“Make it longer.”
“How? By putting you in danger? Your name is in all our visitors logs and the guards fucking know you by name, Y/N. If we don’t go back, this will be the first place they look.”
“Then let’s leave, Eddie! We can go to Canada or Mexico.”
“And you’d give up your dream of being a lawyer? Just like that?”, Steve responded sternly. “No. We’ve been accused of ruining plenty of lives. I won’t actually be guilty of one.”
“That’s my choice to make, Steve. I can be a lawyer anywhere. Plus, Dustin Henderson and his girlfriend are good with computers. I’m sure they can do something to help.”
At their friend’s name, both their eyes darkened as Eddie took a confident stride towards you.
“If we find out you asked them to do anything, Y/N, I swear to God. Like Steve said, we won’t be responsible for ruining more people’s futures.”
“How Martyring of you, Edward.”, you spit. “It’s ok for your futures to be destroyed as long as everyone else is fucking happy. What about me?!”
“Do you think we want this, Y/N?! Do you think we actually want to leave you?! We spent everything, fucking every cent we had to come be with you tonight! It fucking kills me that we can’t fall asleep with you and hold you. That we have to go back to that bullshit with actual murders and men who have done unspeakable things but… we have to. We have to do this right, honey.”
Sobbing, you slide to the floor and they follow you down, kneeling in front of you.
“I love you both so much.”
Steve pulls you to his lap, rocking you back and forth as they try to comfort you.
“Hey, sweetheart. We don’t have to leave until 6 am and it’s only two. How about we lay with you till you fall asleep, baby?”
After nodding, they tuck you under the covers and you promptly lay your head on Eddie’s chest while Steve cuddles your body to him and kisses your shoulder.
“I love you, Y/N.”, the metalhead coos as he kisses your forehead, his heart breaking as you continue to quietly cry.
“I love you to, pretty girl.”, the other man tries to sooth as his fingers caress your skin.
#################
February 5th, 1998
Eddie and Steve,
I’m sorry I haven’t answered your calls.
I know after our last visit you both were really worried about me.
There’s something I’ve been keeping from you… I lied. The prison doctor who looked me over after I passed out did find out what was making me nauseas and dizzy. I thought it was stress but…
I’m pregnant.
What…what are we going to do?
I’m scared.
--Y/N
#################
@lemme-slytherin-that-dick @micheledawn1975 @paleidiot @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @noooah @baileebear @dashingdeb16 @nailbatanddungeon @rockmusiciscalming12 @mikeyswifie @poofyloofy @eddiexmunsonlover @dreamliners
I think I got everyone but if I misses anyone please let me know!
#steddie#steddie angst#steddie smut#steddie fluff#steddie fic#steddie fanfic#stranger things#joe keery#joseph quinn#eddie munson#steve harrington#fan fiction#eddie munson smut#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson angst#steve harrington smut#Steve harrington angst#steve harrington fluff#steddie x you#steddie x y/n#steddie x reader#eddie fanfic#daddy steve harrington#sir Eddie munson#dom steddie#sub reader
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i fucking LOVE the way you draw/write jesse, as someone with a chubby/buff build i kind of struggle with insecurities about my size but the way you draw him makes me feel very good. idk im describing it badly but i wanted to ask if your design for him is more chubby or muscly?
Dude thank you 🥺🩵 You described it very well.
It really depends on which time frame I'm drawing Jesse in actually.
In the beginning, I imagine Jesse is quite scrawny. I mean did you see his work out routine in the beginning? He was was doing sit ups and punching flowers. He was definitely lacking muscle (but had enough to be able to lift Reuben up and down that ladder) and as the first couple episodes progress, he stays scrawny but progressively becomes more scarred up until the Portal Hallway episodes.
The Portal Hallway episodes, it takes place many months after the events of the Witherstorm. Jesse and his friends are going on many more adventures, really honing their skills that they acquired over the past few months. Jesse is much more built now. He's buff and tough with the true heart of a hero. Although, once he and his friends get stuck in the Portal Hall, that's when things take a really devastating turn for him. Feeling hopeless and lost for weeks on end, he begins to feel withdrawn from the positivity he was feeling before he ended up stuck here. Traumatic events keep occuring, and with these events, Jesse is of course drawn to remember and replay the events of Reuben's death in his head. He keeps the most of these feelings to himself because his group is already feeling so disheartened about their current situation that the last thing he'd want for them is to know that he's breaking emotionally, so he ends up taking less care of himself. He starts eating with the idea that he has to stay strong for his friends, but even those moments are rare. Food is scarce depending on what portal they are in, so when he finds food, he'll take anything that will keep his energy and strengths up.
By the end of it all, he's actually put on a significant amount of muscle. But it's kind of like a 'at what cost?' scenario.
Things get a bit better for him between then and Season 2 where he's eating better again and keeping all that muscle, but once Season 2 comes and goes, and with everything that happens in the Sunshine Institute and the Underneath, he loses a lot of weight.
It's only after Season 2, where he stays in BeaconTown and eventually finds a love life with Lukas when he really begins putting on weight once again. He's done with hero work. He's done with going on crazy life threatening adventures. Now he just wants to live life for himself rather than putting others first. Lukas helps him a lot through this, with body positivity and lots of love and affectionate touch, it's all the reassurance Jesse has ever needed to feel okay with being himself again. So he ends up putting on that happy weight that couples typically adopt over time when they're in a healthy relationship. Lukas treats him so, so unbelievably well. Finally Jesse gets to eat food for himself without the idea of needing to keep himself strong and powerful once he's finally retired. He indulges himself in his sweet tooth and loves to eat cookies, cakes, and other baked goods that Lukas will bake or bring home. He also really enjoys the fact that he doesn't have to eat alone anymore. He loves sitting at the table and enjoying a meal with his hubby. And the best part, which is something Jesse was horribly self conscious about, is that Lukas loves and adores his pudge. He is so supportive of Jesse's eating habits, but he doesn't hesitate to sneak veggies and fruits into Jesse's lunch box for work.
So yeah uh Jesse is chubby, buff and loved at the end of it all 😍
Here's some lil doodles of him I have lying around. The first one is pretty old and could probably use a touch up since now I don't see much of a difference, but you get the point ☠️
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9375931ffd0543305a23819afe52d759/770af54ffc17f7fd-33/s540x810/7ed0207b1581ddecbb71bb29d530cd8513e05ba4.jpg)
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Tiny Visitors, Big News
Request: Could you do fic for Bobby Nash from 9-1-1 with wife reader? She was a kindergarten teacher and she had brought them to the station for a trip. Like the one they had during one of the episode. Everyone is just gushing over them because they're so cute 🥺 Maybe she and Bobby had a private time together and she reveal that she was pregnant. With his past, he didn't think that would be a father again. And he deserves that. Just something fluff and cute. Tag me later!! Thanks!! :))
Pairings: Bobby Nash x Wife!Reader
Warnings: fluff, cursing
Masterlist
A/N: Thank you @pear-1206 for requesting this!
There were many things you loved. You loved your job as a kindergarten teacher. You loved your husband of 8 years, Bobby Nash. You loved your extended family who were like your kids sometimes. You have always wanted children of your own but you knew his history and knew he was hesitant after bringing up children one day. If he was being honest, he would love to have kids of his own but after what happened in Minnesota, he thought of himself not being fit enough to raise kids and you quickly shut that down. After a few months of him thinking about it he finally came to you and told you that he wanted kids and you brightened up and so you both started to work on creating life. After 1 year of trying, you were about to give up hope but then one morning when your period didn’t come you were hopeful and you remembered that day clearly.
***********
You were sound asleep when your husband’s alarm started to go off at 6 AM and that made you jerk awake and it seemed like it surprised him too because he had the same reaction as you. His arm that was draped over your stomach was quickly retracted and he was rolling onto this back and reaching blindly for his phone. He got it and quickly turned the alarm off but it was no use the both of you were awake. “You get up too early.” You groaned, turning on your back and slowly opening your eyes and turning your head to look at him. You were met with the sound of his chuckle and a kiss to your forehead.
“It’s not my fault that I have to go in early and get the firehouse in tip top shape.” He said and you pulled a face and looked at him.
“Actually, you’re the captain so you have a say in the schedule.” You said and he chuckled again.
“You got me there, Darling. I also have to get the firehouse in shape for certain tiny visitors coming today.” He said and then was slowly rising and sitting on the side of the bed, that’s right you had a field trip today with your kids to the firehouse. You got up and kneel behind him rubbing both hands up and down his biceps and kissing his neck. “Keep that up and I might just have to call you and I both in sick.” He said and he could feel you smirk against his neck. “I also don’t think your school would like the sudden notification that they need to get a sub in for you.” He said and you groaned.
“They’ll get over it.” You said and he laughed, a laugh that you loved.
“I’m sure they would but you don’t want to miss out on a day with your kids.” He pointed out and you once again groaned.
“I can’t disappoint them, can I?” You ask
“No, you cannot.” He replied and you fell back on the bed and he got up starting to get ready for work. He was only his tight brief boxers and his muscles were on display and you couldn’t help but drool just a tad bit. “I can feel you staring and drooling.” He said turning to look over his shoulder and you smirked not caring that you were caught.
“I can’t help it when my husband looks so fucking hot.” You said and he chuckled and smirked.
“Well, I can say the same about my wife.” He said looking at you in just your underwear and bra and you frowned and he took notice of it. “What’s wrong?” He asked, coming over now halfway dressed.
“I’m not hot.” You said and he gave a confused look.
“Yes, you are.” He said and you shook your head.
“No, I’m not. I’m bloated and look disgusting half the time. None of my clothes fit and I have to wear yours sometimes, especially your hoodies.” You said and he shook his head.
“You’re hot to me and to be honest you look better in my clothes than I do. Also, what are you saying about hoodies you steal mine pretty much all the time, I think half of your wardrobe is my hoodies.” He said and you cracked a smile. “There’s that smile I love so much.” He said.
“Your hoodies are so comfortable and they smell like you. It’s like you’re hugging me all the time when I’m wearing them.” You said and he smiled and crawled up to connect his lips to yours. You laid back and now he was hovering over you.
“Steal my hoodies anytime. I know I can get them back.” He said against your lips. If he stayed here any longer you wouldn’t be able to resist him.
“You better get going. You’re going to be late.” You said trailing your hands down his chest and down to his abs and you kissed him.
“My incredibly hot wife is right. I love you.” He said and you blushed.
“I love you too. Be safe and come home to me.” You said
“I will always come home to my girl.” He said and then he was climbing off of you and finishing getting ready and then he was looking back at you again and smiling. “I love you.” He said again.
“I love you too.” You replied and then he was grabbing his already packed bag and then he was heading out of the bedroom. You didn’t move until the front door shut. You sighed and got up and your world spun for a minute but everything came back after a few seconds and you were grabbing clothes to take to the bathroom to hop into the shower. You didn’t have to be at work until 7:30 AM and it was only 6:30 AM so you had time to kill and you didn’t live too far away from the school, 20 minutes, and the firehouse was 30 minutes away. When you got done with your shower and dressed you went into the kitchen and turned on the coffee maker as it started brewing the smell you always loved started to make you sick. It made your stomach churn and before you knew it you were running to the guest bathroom and barely making it to the toilet before you were spewing your guts into the toilet bowl. “Fuck, that was not normal.” You said to yourself as you got up and flushed the toilet and wiped your mouth with the hanging towel and then. Once you felt like you weren’t going to puke your guts out against you walked back into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl and your favorite cereal along with the milk from the fridge. As you went and sat down at the table and poured the cereal then the milk you began to think about everything you had to do to get ready for the day and you hoped the kids had their permission slips. This field trip had been planned for weeks. As you ate your cereal you felt good about everything and so glad you didn’t get sick. Though it did make you wonder what was wrong with you, you never got sick over the smell of coffee. As you sat there thinking you remembered that your period was late and that made you stop eating. “No, it can’t be.” You said but then you grabbed your phone and unlocked it and went to your app and it showed that you were 10 days late. You looked at the time and it was only 6:50 AM. You would have enough time to run to the store and grab a pregnancy test. So, after you ate and put away the milk and your dirty dishes you grabbed a travel mug and poured some coffee in it. You grabbed your things for the day, then your purse and your keys to your black with red trim Ram truck. You unlocked it and put everything in it and then got in. You started it up and headed to the store which took no time. When you arrived there, you found one of the many empty parking spots and parked. You turned the truck off, grabbed your purse and got out. You locked the truck and headed into the store.
“Good morning.” The cashier said and you smiled at her.
“Good morning.” You replied and headed to the section with the pregnancy section. You were nervous and you didn’t know why. When you got there, you looked at the many different ones and it overwhelmed you, you didn’t know which one to pick, and an older woman worker must’ve seen because she came over to you with a smile.
“Can I help you with anything?” She asked and you jumped “I’m sorry, Dear. I didn’t mean to scare you.” She added quickly.
“No, it's ok. I just don’t know which one to pick. First time.” You told her and she smiled and nodded.
“The best one that seems to have good and accurate results would be First Response Early Result.” She said, grabbing it and handing it to you.
“Thank you.” You said looking at her gratefully and she smiled.
“It’s no problem. Here I’ll check you out.” She said and then you followed her over to the cash register and you put the test on the counter and she rang it up and you paid for it. You thanked her again and then you were heading out of the store and to your truck unlocked it and got it and turned the truck on. You debated on going home but looked at the time and saw it was 7 AM and so you decided to make your way to the school and do it there. You took a deep breath and headed to the school. Traffic was pretty easy going and you didn’t run into heavy traffic which you were grateful about. When you pulled into the parking lot you parked in your usual spot and turned the truck off. You got out grabbing everything including the pregnancy tests and put it in your bag. You walked to the building and into the greeting your best friend, Mia Buckley the younger Buckley sibling.
“Hey, Y/N.” She said and you smiled at her.
“Hey.” You said and it must’ve not been your enthusiastic self because she raised an eyebrow at you.
“Ok, what’s up?” She asked and you looked at her confused.
“Nothing is wrong.” You said and she continued to raise an eyebrow at you.
“I’ve known you for 3 years. I know your tells. What’s up?” She asked and you sighed.
“I think I might be pregnant.” You said and she squealed which made you wince but smile. “I bought a pregnancy test and am about to take it.” You said “I’m nervous.” You admitted.
“Want me to be there with you?” She asked and you looked at her gratefully.
“Please.” You said and she nodded and then she was dragging you to the bathroom. She took your stuff and you went into the stall and undid the test you took a deep breath and took it then capped it. After you wiped and pulled your pants up you walked out to her and set a timer then washed your hands.
“If you are pregnant. How are you going to feel about it?” Mia asked
“Ecstatic and scared. Bobby and I have talked about having kids but I know he was uneasy about it after everything happened in Minnesota.” You said and she smiled and nodded.
“I think you two will be great parents. I know Bobby is going to support you if you are and I know he’ll be ecstatic because that is who he is. He loves you and wants everything with you including kids.” She said and you nodded as tears came to your eyes and spilled down. She ran her hands up and down your arms and then eventually pulled you into a hug. She held you there for a few seconds until the timer that was set for 5 minutes went off. You pulled back and held her forearms and you took a deep breath and nodded. You both turned to the test and there were two pink lines, it was positive.
“It’s positive.” You said and a wide grin broke out on her face.
“How do you feel about it?” She asked
“Ecstatic, scared, and shocked.” You told her and she chuckled.
“You’re gonna be a great mom. Now come on, we have to start getting ready for the day and then you have to take a field trip to the firehouse.” She said and you grabbed your stuff and stuffed the pregnancy test in your purse and walked to your classroom. As you set your stuff down the kids started to come in and you greeted each and every one of them the parents that were going stayed and the others left. The field trip would be taking place early in the day and lasting throughout lunch.
“Good morning, everyone! Who is ready for the day?” You asked and you got a collective of ‘yea’s then they settle. One of the kids, Ashlan, raises her hand. “Yes, Ashlan?” You asked as everyone came up and turned in their permission slips.
“Will we see your husband there?” She asks and you smile.
“Yes, you will. He is the captain of the firehouse where he runs it.” You said
“That is so cool.” She said and you smiled. You answered more questions and then it was time to go. You had them walk in a single file line to the bus.
“Mrs. Nash?” Bleu asked as you stood by the bus door and he stopped while everyone settled down in their seats.
“Yes?” You asked, looking down at him.
“Do you think we will be able to go into the firetruck and turn on the sirens?” He asked and you smiled.
“If you ask really nicely, I’m sure they will let you.” You said
“Yay!” He exclaimed and got on the bus. Once everyone was in you walked up onto the bus and sat at the front. The drive began and the bumps and the curves that normally wouldn’t bother you were starting to get to you. Luckily you arrived at the firehouse quickly and the bus was stopping and parking the kids were yelling in excitement and then you were stepping down to be met with you husband and Evan Buckley.
“Hey, Baby.” He whispered quietly and you smiled.
“Hi, Honey. You ready?” You asked
“Always.” He said and then you had the kids start coming down one by one and then gather around the front of the firetruck. Bobby and Buck started to explain things and then Eddie Diaz, Howard ‘Chimney’ Han, and Henrietta ‘Hen’ Wilson started to come in and out and explain different things. When Bobby talked you just stared in awe and at all the information he knew.
Finally, lunch time came around and while the kids ate with the other firefighters you looked at your husband and he looked at you. “Can I speak to you in private?” You asked and he looked at you confused but answered.
“Of course, come on.” He said and led you to his office, where you’ve been many times and had a lot of fun in there and you had a feeling your baby was conceived here because this was the last place you got down with it. He held the door open and let you in and when you were fully in the room he walked in and shut the door. “What’s wrong?” He asked, concerned.
“So, I threw up at the smell of coffee this morning.” You said
“You love the smell of coffee.” He said and you nodded.
“I also got dizzy this morning when I stood up.” You said
“Why didn't you call me?” He asked
“Because I was fine afterwards. I found out why I was sick this morning. I’m late, 10 days late to be exact.” You said and you could see the gears turning in his head. “Baby, I’m pregnant.”
“You’re... You’re pregnant?” He asked and you smiled and nodded and pulled out the test.
“I went and bought it this morning and took it at school. Me, you, and Mia know.” You said still not being able to gauge his reaction. “How do you feel about it?” You asked.
“Baby, I’m ecstatic.” He said and pulled you in for a hug and you let out breath you didn’t know you were holding.
“I thought you wouldn’t be.” You said and he pulled you back and looked at you.
“Not in a million years. I want everything with you and that means kids. Yes, I’m scared of not being a good father after what happened in Minnesota. But darling, I want this baby.” He said putting his hand on your stomach. “We got this.” He said and you smiled and brought your hands up to his face and pulled him in for a kiss.
“I love you.” You said against his lips.
“I love you too.” He said back and kissed you still having his hand on your stomach. “Now come on, I want you to eat. Gotta keep you healthy you have a human being growing inside of you know.” He said and you smiled.
“Ok, Daddy.” You said and he smiled.
“After you, Mommy.” He said and you led the way to the kitchen where everyone was scattered around. One of the kids grabbed his attention away from you and you smiled watching him interact with the kids. He was going to be a good father to your child and you couldn’t wait.
Tag list:
@kmc1989
@els-marvelvsp
@atarmychick007
@nyx2021
@grandstrangerphantom
@angenu01-blog
@talesofreading
@callsign-revenge
#bobby nash x reader#bobby nash x reader imagines#bobby nash x reader imagine#bobby nash x reader fanfiction#bobby nash x reader fan fiction#9-1-1 x reader imagines#9-1-1 x reader imgines#9-1-1 x reader fandom#9-1-1 x reader fanfiction#9-1-1 x reader fan fiction#9-1-1#9-1-1 imagine#9-1-1 imagines#9-1-1 fics#9-1-1 fandom#9-1-1 fanfiction
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What Does "Supporting Writers" Mean? ✍️
Apparently it's Fanfic Writer Appreciation Day! To all my fellow writers, I truly appreciate you for bringing me joy, making me smile on rough days, and giving me my weekly/daily dose of escapism and warm fuzzies. (Shoutouts to you personally below.) 💓💓
But what does it mean "practically" to appreciate your favorite writers, especially on Tumblr?
For example, I know some fanfic authors are starting to block "serial likers": people who'll go through someone's entire masterlist and hit the "like" button on 20-something stories without commenting or basic reblogging.
While I think blocking them is extreme, I understand the authors' frustrations. I've actually been asked if I'll ever leave Tumblr, since many of them have dropped off over the past few months, or even the past few years.
I'm still here for two very important reasons:
I love to write about my favorite characters. I write primarily because I love it, not just for the kudos.
I'm friggin' blessed to have a lot of friends and lovely readers on here and Ao3 who support me immensely on my writing and on this blog in general. I love and appreciate each and every one of you! Which is why I do my best to reply to your comments and reblogs. 💖💖
Of course, there are many reasons why a writer might take a break or stop writing entirely, but one of those reasons is also why the #supportwriters tag exists...
And why you'll see us include banners like this on our posts:
(Credits: cafekitsune, me, inklore)
That being said, here's my own rule of thumb on how I try to support my fellow writers when I read something I enjoy:
If I "liked" something, it means I had the time to read a story all the way through and I enjoyed it! (Or I'm bookmarking it for later in the day lol)
If I have the time to read it, I have the time to leave a comment on what I liked the most about it.
If I have the time to write out a comment (anywhere from a few seconds to a few minutes), I typically put that comment in a reblog -- maybe even add a gif or two for ✨razzle dazzle.✨ That way I can share it with the rest of my followers, so they can see it and hopefully enjoy it too...
Why? Because Tumblr isn't TikTok or IG. Reblogging is the best way to help a post gain traction on Tumblr. The algorithm doesn't care much about likes.
But on a more human level, supporting writers is just the basic thing of -- if you enjoyed something you read (that a writer shared for free), just let them know what you liked about it.
Remember that there's a person behind the content you enjoy. They might have been working on that story for weeks or months, or even years before they got the courage to post it.
They might really be putting themselves out there, writing about a topic or subject matter that they're not sure people will even like or engage with.
Maybe they're exploring something new, like a character or trope they've never written before.
Maybe they're expressing part of themselves that they haven't even told another living soul.
Maybe they just wanted to write something fun and smutty or angsty or fluffy and want to share the escapism with you.
Whether they've been writing for years or are just starting out, any and all is valid.
For me, as a writer and a reader, supporting my fellow writers often means supporting my friends. And 9 times out of 10, the way we became friends was by leaving feedback on their work and asking them questions, or responding to their awesome feedback on mine.
If you want a little jumpstart on how to leave feedback, whether encouraging or constructive, here's an awesome post about it (not mine).
Shoutout to some of my favorite writers 💞:
(In no particular order)
@waynes-multiverse @luci-in-trenchcoats @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior @thatonewriter15 @rizlowwritessortof
@waywardxwords @tofics @kaleldobrev @deanbrainrotwritings @deanwritings
@jawritter @deanwinchesterswitch @justagirlinafandomworld @ravengirl94 @waywardxwords
@spnbabe67 @deanwanddamons @ejlovespie @kittenofdoomage @venus-haze
@talltalesandbedtimestories @sam-is-my-safe-word @jacklesbrainworms @artyandink @princessmisery666 (I just starting reading your stories, but I'm continuing with Samnesia soon!) -- and I'm sure many more! 💋
#fanfic writer appreciation day#support writers#lovely mutuals#reader appreciation#spn#supernatural#supernatural fanfiction#dean winchester#sam winchester#castiel#jensen ackles characters#jensen ackles#jackles#the boys#big sky#soldier boy#beau arlen#russell shaw#cj braxton#alec mcdowell#boaz priestly#writer appreciation
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Conversations with a younger colleague about I/P conflict
In my department there is a grad student who is friendly with myself and a few others of the openly nerdy ecologists. We actively talk about anime, video games, TTRPGs, etc... We've also all collaborated on research together because we generally study the same thing, and being a grad student we are also letting them helm their own research to carve their own path. The research topic that links all of us is decomposition ecology.
Meaning, we study death, how it effects the environment, and all the things having to do with it. Often we have our own terms that we define and use, but we also work within the framework of various medical and legal definitions nationally and internationally. Recently this student has been talking to me about the I/P conflict because it has dominated their social media feed. Like many young adults, this is their first I/P conflict and their first exposure to anything regarding that region. As such, they have come to me to talk about things knowing that I am Jewish. Not out of maliciousness, but because I am the only person they talk to that has any sort of connection to it. Over these past months they have repeated the "genocide/Holocaust" rhetoric that we have seen Western Activists use to make the conflict the Worst Thing Ever. Our conversation went as follows: GS: I can't believe they're committing a Holocaust on them after what they went through. Me: How is it a Holocaust? GS: They're committing a genocide against the Palestinians. Me: They're not doing either one, but let's touch upon the first thing you said. How? GS: They're killing them in large numbers! Me: Oh...oh...that's not what made the Holocaust the Holocaust, you know that right? It was years of systematic dehumanization that culminated in what we know. There were death camps, torture, experimentation, and so much more than simple "killing in large numbers". GS: Damn public school education... Me: You didn't really go over it too much did you? GS: WWII was, like, a week I want to say. Me: *sigh* yeah, not surprised at all. GS: Okay, so a genocide then? Me: GS, what do we study? GS: Decomp Me: and that involves? GS: Death Me: One avenue of which is mass casualty events which a number of our friends have published on. GS: Yeah! I read those papers, they were really good. Me: They were, but do you remember conversations we had about them and what differentiates mass casualty events from one another? GS: Cause? Me: And...? GS: Shit. Intent. Me: Exactly. Has their been an official stated intent to commit any genocide? I mean, you've got the bigots in the government like Ben Givir and the shit they say, I'll give you that. But has the official stance been genocidal? GS: No. I don't think so. Me: What has it been? GS: To get the hostages back and get rid of Hamas. Me: Uh huh, and what has been Hamas's stated intent? GS: To kill Zionists. Me: And before 2017 when they changed the wording in their charter? GS: ah fuck...it's Jews isn't it? Me: Ding ding ding. GS: So that's why no one in the group has said it's a genocide... Me: Correct. Humanitarian crisis brought about by war? Yes. Mass casualty event? Certainly. But genocide? Well, there's a reason no one in our circle has endorsed the term. And remember, we're considered experts on death. GS: I got puppeted didn't I? Me: Yep. GS: Shit. The only reason this went so well is due to our friendship and mentor/mentee dynamic. They already trust me to not lead them astray, be informed, and address the holes in their knowledge. Hell, they help me be a better scientist as well with how they bring in new and novel techniques that I didn't know. But they're still getting a lot of their info from TikTok and IG, and they've talked about a lot of BS from those two particular apps these past few years. This is just the latest (they had a TikTok induced anti-GMO trend for a while, it was bad).
#jumblr#misinformation#I/P misinformation#Correct terminology#Death experts#Seriously - we have a precise definition for genocide and this ain't it
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Being the spouse of a Supervillain
You're the only person who he won't hurt. Why would he? You've been at his beck and call since he couldn't remember when.
However, you feel that you're walking on eggshells at times when the actuators have control of his psyche.
He keeps urging you to move on, that there was no place for you here; in the rickety old building you've shared since he bought the place. He honestly doesn't want to see you have a close encounter with the reaper again.
That being, you stay put, that the man you married is still in there. The shadows of his smile is hidden behind that snarky smirk. Some of the -rarest- most quiet nights, are spent on the torn up couch. It's almost like nothing changed at all.
You put your life on pause for a moment, you didn't go into work at all for weeks. You knew there would be questions, there always would be.
When you do come into work, you were given reduced hours because your boss wanted you to mourn the man you once knew, you refrained from answering any of those prying your personal life for issues. You normally report them within a few days, and then they're working in a whole different complex.
Even if the actuators are permanently a part of him, it's still Otto. His habits are still there, no matter what he tries to tell you.
You've also noticed that the arms still respect their creator to some extent, they never lay a finger on you. If they grab you, they are slow and patient never brutal.
One time you had gotten bruised from the pressure that the arms gave when they placed you away from the project. They soon fell limp while Otto had the nastiest look on his face. He never looked at you when he was like this.
He is always a gentleman to you, through layers of frowning.
The actuators only want his project done, therefore your Otto is just their puppet. However, they see you as a distraction until the beings of machine realize that Otto is human.
So, there isn't long lunch breaks together as you're used to before this mess. However, he eats in silence; in fear of the actuators lashing out on you for just seemingly wanting shreds of your life with him before.
You don't comment on his encounters with Spider-Man, you know all too well that the superhero gets bad press on the regular. Not to mention, Otto- sorry, you end up correcting yourself when the actuators are in control- Ock isn't entirely fond of him.
You knew exactly when Otto was too tired to fight the AI influence, because there have been consecutive all nighters the closer the reactor gets to being completed.
The times when the actuators keep him glued to the desk are when you try to get him clothing and alter them to accommodate the four tentacles protruding from his lower back.
There was one night that you consider was very special within the past few months that his magnum opus welded themselves to his back.
He had found some of his old outfits that weren't destroyed, and pressed down any urges from the arms.
"May this broken man take you out on a date?" You were near tears as you accepted.
He brought you to the top of a building with a makeshift table. It reminded you of your first dinner with him back in college.
He tells you that he's going to find a way to remove the arms and start anew. He wanted you to buy an apartment and to bring him to it on a specific day.
Considering that he's fighting for his life to look like the man you knew and loved -although you've reassured him multiple times that you still love him- you agree in a heartbeat. Happy that you'll both have a semblance of what life was before this.
The day to pick him up from the docks comes and you find no sight of him or the shambles of your house. It's all deep in the river below.
You can't recall how long you stayed there, but you had to live on. Live, that's what he always wanted you to do.
It's very hard at first, but life goes on.
One night -you can't quite remember what day it was specifically- you got a knock on the door.
You open it a little and it's Otto, with a small smile, holding a bunch of flowers.
Tears are brought to your eyes as he walks in, "I had a feeling that you'd buy the one we got back then." Any snakiness left him when he realized that you thought he was dead.
He promises to explain everything, but tonight he holds you as long as you needed it.... you ended up holding him hostage in your bedroom until the next morning. Even then, you don't let him out of your sight for a while.
He then explains in terms that you both can understand -because he finds himself not believing anything of it even after he's here. He was brought to another world just like this one where he was given a new component that prevented the arms from taking him over.
So, he starts the rejuvenation process, and does the community work to get back into society. He's stayed off nuclear fusion snd stuck strictly to advanced robotics.
However, you both still stayed at that apartment you first owned with him years ago. Never wanting to live on the water again.
There was one day where he brought you all over town, he brought you to so many places you visited together in your past. He had to be careful of the press patrolling for him since he returned. A former supervillain and a scientific powerhouse? That get's the press moving all over the place.
He then brought you where it all started, and proposed to you again. "I stand before you as a changed man, I love you so much. Will you marry me one more time?"
How could you say no?
It seems that you still have to alter his new clothes, but you don't mind considering how much more appreciative since he doesn't go around shirtless anymore.
He's cautious when using the actuators, only having them clean up and not touch you. Until you reassure him multiple times that you are fine with it... a few months later he's using them to trap you in his embrace.
You have him back, a second chance, and neither of you are going to screw it up.
#doc ock#doc ock x reader#otto octavius x reader#otto octavius#doctor otto octavius#headcannons#doctor octopus x reader#doctor octopus
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