#do you like merlin angst? arthur angst? gwen angst?

[pleasantartisanhottea]

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Pick 5 TV Shows you like before reading the questions.

Violet Evergarden

Doctor Who (Four, Nine, and Ten)

Merlin

Justice League & Justice League Unlimited

The Hollow

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Who is your favorite character in 2?

Honestly, it's a toss-up between Four and Nine. They're my favorite Doctors! Abrasive with a core of kindness and staunch morals that they're forced to question and put to the test! Four's encounter with the Daleks and questioning if he should wipe them out entirely and ultimately choosing mercy... Nine saying he'd rather be a coward than a killer... They're my beloveds, I adore them!

How long have you watched 1?

Oh, man. It's been ages since I've watched Violet Evergarden! It's such a gorgeous show, but it really drains me emotionally. I end up crying every watch-through. It's been a few years, but it remains one of my favorite shows! So, I haven't continually watched it, just sporadically rewatched it twice or thrice, but I've been a fan for a good few years now.

How did you become interested in 3?

Hmmm... I think it just popped up in my Netflix recommendations? I stayed because Gwen was a sweetheart, and because I adored Lancelot. Colin Morgan as Merlin also did a fantastic job carrying the emotion of the show! I really sort of fell off watching it around season 5 though, the angst was simply too much for me. I watched the finale one time and one time only, and proceeded to swear off ever watching it again.

Who is your favorite actor in 4?

Kevin Conroy as the voice actor of Batman! He's just so good at humanizing the Big Bad Bat, and making him not only a sympathetic character, but a funny, kind, and emotionally gripping one. I really wish I could've met him at a convention...

Which show do you prefer 1, 2, or 5?

Oh, OUCH. Violet Evergarden versus Doctor Who versus The Hollow? MAN. Asking the hard questions! Hmmm... I'll have to go with Violet Evergarden -- the music, art, and plotline just destroy me emotionally every time. Violet's story and recovery will always be one of the first things I think of when I have to come up with a favorite show!

Which show have you seen more episodes of 1 or 3?

Merlin, for sure. Violet Evergarden isn't that long of a show, and I haven't seen any of the additional content for it, while Merlin is at a solid 5 seasons!

How would you kill off your favorite character in 5?

Why would you do this to me?! Mira, my beloved, I'm so sorry... This is a difficult question, even taking out that she's my favorite character, because Mira can communicate with and get along well with animals, which instinctively come to her aid, and is able to breathe underwater and swim with superhuman strength and proficiency... I suppose I'd drop her from high in the sky into a burning, abandoned forest? She can't fly, the water wouldn't cushion her fall, and no animals would help. I think that the panic of the sitaution would likely curb her survival skills, and there's not a lot she can do about the fire -- she's a good swimmer, not a waterbender. For a slower death, I think I'd plop her in an unsolvable maze on her own. The isolation would get to her faster than the difficulty of the puzzles would, I think - Mira likes people, and would struggle without any friends.

Would a 3/4 crossover work?

Merlin and JL & JLU... I think it could work? Only in a fanfiction sense, though. I doubt the two canonical universes could fuse without fundamentally breaking one or both of their genres and themes. Even in a fanfiction universe things would get messy though, what with Morgaine le Fay being the mother of Mordred and half-sister of King Arthur, and Merlin himself being a mythical figure. Combine that with the modern era v. medieval era culture clash, various superpowered figures running around and causing chaos, and the identity issues that'd pop up... You could throw them together, but no one would be happy about it! Although it would be interesting to see Diana and season 1 Morgana interact, and to try and give Merlin a non-Uther-supporting, actually present mentor in Clark, Bruce, or J'onn. (They're the ideal mentors for him among the core Justice League, I think! Shayera would get along better with Arthur, John would be stand-offish and a little put off by all these mythical figures around him, I think, and Diana would much prefer to befriend Morgana and maybe behead Uther posthaste.) Kilgharrah and Gaius move aside! Merlin has new mentors!

Pair two characters in 1 that would make an unlikely, but strangely okay couple.

The show is episodic, and the only people Violet consistently interacts with are people I'm hesitant to ship her with -- her employers, mostly! Her fellow coworkers don't get much chance to shine, either, from what I remember...

I think that Hodgins and the mail boy, Benedict would be a cute couple - Benedict loves annoying Hodgins and Hodgins puts up with it and tries to help Benedict despite everything. I really adored the relationship between Violet and Leon, and Violet and Iris -- the former because they were so similar, and the latter because they were so different. Both of them grew because of Violet and helped her grow, and I also just really adore their character dynamics. I don't know if these are unlikely couples though, only strangely okay ones.

Overall, which show has the better cast, 3 or 5?

AUGH! Merlin v. The Hollow?! Why did I do this to myself! I think... ultimately, I'm going to say The Hollow. They were better at consistency in characterization, and when their characterizations did radically shift, there were good reasons for it. Merlin's cast had many beautiful characters, but their development tended to shift and change radically for reasons that just didn't hold up to scrutiny for me, or which I felt disrespected the characters (Lancelot du Lac still haunts me in a BAD WAY, I am SHAKING MY FIST AT THE SKY --).

Which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?

... I'm going to say Doctor Who. JL & JLU weren't very soundtrack-centric, while I still listen to Doomsday, The Rueful Fate of Donna Noble, Rose's Theme, and Martha's Theme when I need a good cry. Doctor Who also has more iconic sounds associated with it, like the materialization sound of the TARDIS, and the theme song sticks more in my brain than JL & JLU's does.

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For the game, tag at least 5:

@captainofthenautilus @aro-aizawa @eurydicees @hamletkin @handageddon @earhartsease

TV Show Meme

Redoing this original meme from 2012.

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Pick 5 TV Shows you like before reading the questions.

1. The Apothecary Diaries 2. Dungeon Meshi 3. Star Trek: Strange New Worlds 4. Star Trek: Lower Decks 5. Doctor Who Series 14 (Ncuti Gatwa's first season)

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Who is your favorite character in 2?

Chilchuck Timms. I don't know why, but I can relate to the "half-foot" standing and the whole "eternally-stressed old man" vibes

How long have you watched 1?

Started probably mid-December while my shoulder was hurting.

How did you become interested in 3?

I blame @the-haven-of-fiction for having me look at the pretty Chef-Captain.

Who is your favorite actor in 4?

Jack Quaid as Brad Boimler. His Boimler screams are magical. Which show do you prefer 1, 2, or 5?

Ugh. Unfair. I can't really choose right now but-- fine. The Apothecary Diaries is a current fave.

Which show have you seen more episodes of 1 or 3?

As ST: SNW has more seasons than The Apothecary Diaries-- then the former. If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

Mariner. I'm very much like Mariner right now-- don't want to get promoted. How would you kill off your favorite character in 5?

Hahahah. He gets himself killed every other season or so anyway-- but I'd like him to suffocate, sneeze, then regenerate into the next Doctor. Would a 3/4 crossover work?

IT. ACTUALLY. HAPPENED. LAST. SEASON.

Pair two characters in 1 that would make an unlikely, but strangely okay couple

Lishu and Basen. Oops. Spoilers.

Overall, which show has the better cast, 3 or 5?

I'm going to change the usual answer and say ST: SNW for a change. Which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?

I'd say Dungeon Meshi. It's just refreshing to watch anime and hear that epic first opening again, I guess.

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For the game, tag at least 5:

@witchy-self-shipper @turniptitaness @the-haven-of-fiction @izhunny @ladyoftheteaandblood @skinnyscottishbloke (oops i went beyond five -- and honestly anyone else who wants to play can join in~)

[overlyspecific]

Part 4 of Merlin as Robin Hood

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12

The results are in, it was pretty neck and neck so i’ll try to get the other option posted pretty quick here too. This part gets a little dark towards the end so warning for injuries and angst for the future (whats merthur without a little trauma, you cant do hurt/comfort without the hurt).

Gwaine: *carrying a crate of fresh apples into the small clearing they’ve made into a hideout* I just don’t get it. Why would he risk getting captured just to see someone who would run him through first chance he got?

Lancelot: *smiling a little to himself* Oh, you don’t know the first thing about it, friend. You should have seen them when Merlin worked as his manservant. He would spend all night saving the castle with magic just to yelled at all morning by Arthur because he forgot to polish one piece of armor.

Gwaine: *he takes a seat on his makeshift hammock and takes a swig from his suspiciously ale-smelling water skin* I just don’t get why he cares so much about him. We do good work here stealing from rich douchebags and giving to people in need. I dont see what is so different about Arthur, isnt he the worst of the worst for rich douchebags? Merlin himself calls him a prat.

Lancelot: oh I see whats going on…

Gwaine: what?

Lancelot: You’re jealous.

Gwaine: No, I’m not. Look, Merlin’s great. I just don’t like him risking everything for someone who has proven they wont do the same.

Lancelot: and what? you would be better for him?

Gwaine: I could be, at least I wouldnt toss him out to fend for himself in the woods all alone.

Merlin: *returning from his forest meeting with Arthur catching the tail end of the conversation* Gwaine, I appreciate the sentiment, but no offense you werent there and *turning to lancelot* neither were you Lance. You don’t know what went down or the hard choices we ALL had to make. so respectfully butt out of it.

Gwaine and Lancelot: *feeling guilty for getting caught* sorry merls

Merlin: its alright. Let’s just take stock of everything we got so we can distribute it-

Merlin is cut off by a yell in the woods and they all go quiet.

Lancelot: Merlin, your magic is still in place, right? No one should be able to find us.

Merlin: Yes, no one can find us unless we allow them to. Stay here, it’s probably just a lost traveller.

Gwaine: No, you shouldnt go alone. We’ll go with you.

Merlin: If its a traveller by themself then it will be better to go alone to not spook them. I have my magic to back me up and i’ll shout if they are injured or need help. Stay here.

Merlin walks into the woods alone out of the magical safety of the hideout.

Gwaine: I dont have a good feeling about this…

Meanwhile in the woods, Gwen is searching desperately around the area largely covered by trees that look the exact same.

Gwen: *to herself* c’mon gwen focus! Did he say the trees with the fruit above or below the leaves?

Merlin: *appearing from the woods like the forest druid he is at heart* I actually said the trees with the blue berries and white blossoms. I think below the leaves means they are safe to eat.

Gwen: *running to Merlin and throwing her arms around him desperately* Merlin!

Merlin: *from inside gwen’s tight bear hug* As much as I appreciate the hug, do you want to tell me why you are in the woods alone trying to find me?

Gwen: *releasing Merlin from her death grip* Merlin, you are in danger! I came from the castle as quick as I could to warn you-

Merlin: Gwen! Gwen! It’s okay! I just got away from the knights, I’m fine. Better than fine actually. Arthur saved my life…

Gwen: *trying to get a word in but Merlin has started excitedly rambling about Arthur* No, Merlin. Listen to me.

Merlin:…and the way he looked at the knight that tried to kill me, Gwen, it was like he wanted to murder HIM. Can you believe it?

Gwen: Merlin!

Merlin: *Finally realizing something isn’t right and looking around the forest* Wait, we aren’t alone.

Gwen: That’s what i’ve been trying to tell you, Merlin! The king sent Arthur as a distraction. Arthur doesn’t even know. Uther hired a witchfinder with a really powerful magical tracking amulet. You’re the biggest magical target in the vicinity. Its going to lead them right to you! You have to run, get as far as you can!

Merlin: Gwen, I cant leave Arthur. He’ll die without me.

Gwen: He’ll die if you die. You have to go!

Merlin: Fine, but I’m scrying everyday to make sure he’s-

Merlin is cut off by an arrow plunging its way into his side. He falls onto Gwen who tries to keep him standing.

Merlin: Gwen, get out of here! Find Lance and Gwaine, they’re just beyond those trees. They wont find you there. You cant be caught with me.

Gwen: Merlin!

Merlin: Gwen, go!

Gwen takes off into the woods in the direction of the hideout. Merlin falls to his knees and calls his magic up but his eyes only flicker gold for a second before dimming. Collapsing all the way to the ground, Merlin sees black boots approach him from in front of him. Merlin doesnt have the strength to raise his head but he knows if he did, he would be met with the satisfied face of the witchfinder.

Witchfinder: So you’re the great and powerful Emrys, huh? I thought you’d be harder to find.

Merlin feels one of the black boots make contact with his injured side and everything goes black.

Sorry to leave you all on a cliffhanger but I had to do it. Next part will be a flashback to the magic reveal and then we’ll see how Merlin Hood gets out of this sticky situation.

[larluce]

can I please be added to the taglist for merlin and Arthur are from the future but neither of them know? Thank you!!!

I am so obsessed with it!!!

Hi! Of course I can tag you, @toomanyfanficsbruh! Whoever wants me to tag them in the next parts of my AU just let me know and I'll do it! It makes me so happy that you want to be updated on my story ❤️🤧

Also, feel free to make me asks! My english is not the best sometimes but I'll do the best I can ^^

Talking about asks, this is the updated list of ideas/requests you gave me for the AU:

Scene where arthur is listing the 'events that are about to unfold' on a piece a patchment ✅️

Uther finding out about arthur's weird obsession with merlin ✅️

Arthur has to protect Merlin from his father ✅️

Arthur enchanted ✅️

Gwaine and Percival

Gwaine brazenly flirting with Merlin & Arthur's reaction.

Merlin in a pretty dress.

Merlin in armour and/or learning how to fight and Arthur be like Arthur.exe is not responding 404 BRAIN

Morgause and Nimueh alliance

Freya (oh, my poor baby)

Arthur showing Merlin around the visiting nobles from other kingdoms.

Gwen and Elyan reunion

Balinor

The moment they Figure Out (the angst!!)

Lance and Leon roasting them both for being so sickeningly obviously in love. (I think they are already doing it though?)

Mordred and Aithusa.

Most of them will happen in series 2, I think just "Mordred and Aithusa" will have to wait till series 3 (if there is one, I haven't thought that far, to be honest). At least I'm not sure how to add them yet.

Have a wonderful day! 🥰

[whydon-twego]

For your celebration prompt writing: i would absolutely love something about touch-starved (and maybe additionally emotionally repressed) Arthur. Angst with a hopeful/happy ending and perhaps also merthur would be peak but honestly do what you feel like with it. love your writing either way

Arthur knows he is doing the wrong thing.

Arthur knows that he would just like a gentle touch once in a while and a pat on the back and a voice saying "well done!"

Arthur knows that all this can never come from his father (except for things Arthur greatly despises doing, and what kind of man is Arthur if by now his line of thinking differs from the king's?) but he also knows that he could easily receive it from Merlin.

He would like to receive it from Merlin.

How many times did Merlin try to pat him on the back? To initiate a hug? Once he even tried to take his hand and Arthur found himself in a total panic, as he has never been in his life, not even in battle, and pushed him away.

Arthur is incapable of receiving affection. Morgana has always told him so. And even if she is not among the friendliest people on the face of the earth at least she can be herself with Gwen.

Why can't he?

Arthur watches Merlin walk back and forth across the room picking things up from the floor and complaining that Arthur is a pig and not a prince, that he should at least learn and keep the room tidy because it is one thing to be a manservant and another to be a slave.

Arthur nods and simply continues to stare at him.

It is strange how easy it is to be around Merlin.

It is strange how comfortable Arthur feels without the need to prove himself to be something he is not.

It is strange that he does not feel so at peace with himself even with Leon, with whom he has been squiring and is actually the person he has known the longest.

So why can't he accept a compliment? Why can't he accept a simple caress? Why can't he accept something he wants?

"Arthur, are you all right?"

Arthur looks up to find Merlin kneeling before him, the serious, contemplative face of someone who has probably tried to call him several times.

Arthur does not understand the question but nods anyway.

Merlin does not seem convinced.

It is with a certain kind of reverent shyness that Merlin raises a hand and shakes off Arthur's fringe, resting his cool palm on the other man's forehead.

Arthur leans heavily on that touch.

"Prat. You're burning up, that's why you're so quiet today, come on, I'll help you lie down."

Merlin passes an arm around his waist and helps him up and Arthur actually feels tired. Perhaps all those thoughts about Merlin stem from the fever and nothing more.

The fact that Merlin's arm around his waist makes him feel protected must surely be another symptom.

Finally, Arthur manages to lie down and Merlin is there with him, helping him undress and cover himself with blankets.

"You're an idiot. All you do is complain about irrelevant things but then you have to be stoic when you feel really bad" Merlin rolls his eyes and sighs but doesn't leave, remaining sitting on the edge of the bed looking at Arthur in that strange way that makes Arthur's guts twist and he can't decipher.

Then Merlin takes his hand (because Merlin is nothing if not persistent) and stays there, staring at him with a half-smile and intimating that he should sleep, that he will go to Gaius soon to get some medicine but that in the meantime he should try to bring his fever down with a nap.

Arthur, tired, nods and closes his eyes, Merlin's hand clasped between his and Merlin's smile etched in his mind.

Everything is already much better because Merlin is there with him.

Everything is already much better because Merlin is at his side.

Everything is already much better because Arthur is happy that Merlin is there with him, always.

A thought makes its way into Arthur's head and suddenly he opens his eyes again, bringing them to the figure of Merlin who is sitting next to him, stroking the back of his hand with his thumb and looking at him smiling, beautiful as the sun.

… Oh.

[archangelarch]

Love Potion

Arthur is depressed and frustrated with yearning and Merlin is fed up with it being taken out on him. So, he decides to use a spell to bring Arthur perfect bliss—which works all too well.

Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (& background Gwen/Arthur Pendragon) || Wordcount: 7,034 || Contains: Fluff and Angst, Enchanted Arthur Pendragon, Sexual tension, Unresolved sexual tension, Unhealthy coping mechanisms, Pining, Set in series 2

(Part 1 of Tryst)

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Merlin’s supper was very cold by the time he slugged his way through Gaius’ door. With one look up from his work bench, the physician could guess what had kept him. Merlin was covered head-to-toe in dark soot, his hair sticking up in wild spires and his eyes half-closed. He looked like he might fall dead as he shuffled his way past his cooled stew over to the wash basin. 

“Rough day at work?” Gaius inquired, continuing to pluck dried leaves from a small herb bushel and place them into his mortar. 

Merlin hummed a half-groan in response. He stopped at the basin, and with a beat of pause preceding, he fell forward like a rag-doll into the water with a splash, dunking his entire head. Gaius startled, hopping to his feet with fear he may have to save the boy from drowning, but Merlin quickly shocked and shivered upright, his hair now plastered flat to his head and his top-half dripping wet all over the floor.

“Oh, Merlin, really—” Gaius began to scold, but Merlin barely seemed to notice. He just shook as much water from himself back into the basin with his hands, an ill-achieved target, and huffed in great breaths, no doubt brought a little back to life by the chill. Gaius pursed his lips as Merlin braced himself on the edges of the tub and stared at his own warbling reflection in the now-blackened water. “You look like you’ve had a run in with an angry dragon,” Gaius commented. He set his ingredients down and slowly rounded the table. “Or a forest fire.”

Merlin turned to glance over his shoulder, still not meeting Gaius’ eye, but looking for the first time like he really registered his presence. “I feel it as well,” he croaked.

“Are you alright?”

“Arthur had me sweep out the flue and chimney in his chambers,” Merlin reported sourly instead of answering the question. “He’s never had me do that before, ever. The castle has a chimney sweep.”

“I know, I’ve met him. I had to help unstuck him from one of the flues on his first day.” Gaius leaned to half-sit on the closer edge of the table, watching Merlin's attempts to wash off his face and neck. “Your supper’s on the table.”

“I’m not hungry,” Merlin said in an empty voice, and still leaving a small trail of drips, he sulked off to his room. 

Gaius decided to allow him some space, and with a heave of a sigh, he left his unground herbs as they were and collected up the final medicine deliveries he had for that day, which he had originally intended to have Merlin distribute. Luckily, the walk around the castle and the night air in the courtyard was pleasant and mild, and despite the hour the sun still hadn’t fully nestled below the horizon, its last light drawing tall blue shadows across Camelot. It was then that Gaius realized just how long Merlin had been working that day—dusk til dawn was a lot more substantial in late summer. When Gaius set back to the tower it was with a bit of pity in his heart for his son. 

When he was alone in his room, Merlin kicked out of his boots and shucked off his soot-stained clothes, internally grumbling over how long they would take to clean and how his struggle with his shirt re-smeared his cheeks with ash. Slender as he was, he was far too big and tall to be cleaning a chimney of the size in Arthur’s antechamber, a task made maddeningly more frustrating by constant critique and badgering by the prince, who seemed miraculously to have nothing better to do. He had been buzzing around Merlin like an incessant fly for shy over two weeks by that point, finding plentiful more and worse work to pile onto Merlin’s usual unpleasant load. Worst of all, he never seemed to get any sort of fill from his spectating—normally if Arthur had some particularly unagreeable task for him, whether that simply needed doing or that he had fashioned as some sort of punishment for being annoyed, he would stay by for a round of gloating and then be on his amused way. Merlin hadn’t heard Arthur stifle a chuckle, hadn’t seen his arrogant prattish smile, hadn’t even caught him grinning ever since they’d returned Gwen home safe from Hengist’s capture. Nothing at all seemed to lighten his perpetual rotten mood, and Merlin bore the exhausting, unrelenting brunt of it. 

Giving up with trying to get clean and simply throwing on his nightclothes, Merlin seethed his way over to the loose floorboard by his bedside and pried it violently off, plucking from it the spellbook Gaius had given him. He thumped himself down on the edge of the bed, tempted for only just a second by its soft give to collapse all the way and be done with the day, but fuelled enough by indignance to keep on task. He creaked the heavy cover open and began to leaf through the myriad pages, resolving to hold the book in both hands and magically flip through as with a gust of wind, eyes quickly flitting over each one. He incanted the flutter to a stop when he found the page he was looking for, and began poring over its every detail. 

There were two illustrations on the top of the page: one of a glass vial full of an orangey liquid drawn glowing with gilded radiating lines, and the other of a man dressed in finery carrying a woman in a peasant dress in his arms, both wearing great big smiles and flushed cheeks. The page read: Elixir of bliss. Enchants a subject with feelings of perfect happiness and contentment. It required a few ingredients be distilled in water, most of which he recognized from Gaius’ stores of herbs and medicinal plants, and an enchantment via incantation. Merlin began mumbling the incantation to himself, mouth learning its sounds, as he tried to memorize the list of ingredients. Holy basil, saffron, klamath weed—

Gaius pushed into the room without knocking, making Merlin jump. He was holding the bowl of stew from the table on a tray next to a chunk of bread.

“I know you’re probably tired, Merlin, but you must eat something,” Gaius insisted, pausing once he had steadied himself and the tray enough in the opened door. Merlin had hastily tucked the book behind him on the bed, poorly hidden from Gaius’ keen eye. “What’re you reading?” He noticed the pried up floorboard just after his words left him.

“Nothing,” Merlin replied quickly. “Thank you, Gaius, you can just set the tray there.”

The physician obliged and placed the tray down on the foot of Merlin’s bed as instructed, using the proximity to get an angle on the book. “Learning a spell?”

“No,” Merlin said automatically, then, taking up the book into his lap again in a better attempt to shield it, doubled back. “I mean, yes. Not a particular one, though. Just going through them all, you know, learning in general.”

“That would be awfully studious of you, Merlin,” Gaius offered suspiciously, hovering closer still, and as Merlin tried to discreetly flip to a new page, he quickly shot out a finger to hold the one he’d had open to before, another of his surprising bits of spryness for a man of his age. Gaius shot Merlin a warning look, and defeated, Merlin didn’t fight as Gaius flipped the pages back and scanned the one that he’d been on. 

“A love spell?” Gaius gawked, brows shooting up and then quickly back down into a disappointed furrow. “Oh, Merlin—”

“It isn’t a love spell, it’s a happiness spell,” Merlin countered. “See? ‘Elixir of bliss—’”

“Love spells go by many names, Merlin, and all of them are very bad news. They have nothing to do with real love or genuine emotion—they turn people into pleasant puppets who are too far from their right mind to know better. You have as little right as anybody to use magic to tamper with people’s emotions. Not only is it a completely unnecessary use of magic, it’s entirely inhumane—”

“You have no idea what it’s like with him!” Merlin snapped suddenly, shocked to pause by his own volume and the near sob in his voice. His eyelids fluttered as he gazed into the emptiness of the missing floorboard, and he saw Gaius’ sympathetic exhale in his posture from the corner of his eye more than heard it. The physician clasped his hands in front of him, plucking his words carefully.

“I know your situation with Arthur is difficult in ways I can’t imagine,” Gaius said, a balance of softness and firmness in his tone. “To be underappreciated” —Merlin snorted a bitter laugh at that— “and unseen... it must be torturous at times. But magic is not a tool for moulding others to one’s liking, nor is it fair to Arthur to try and manipulate his feelings. Being his protector comes with—”

“I’m trying to help him!” Merlin insisted, finding his voice again and breaking into a ramble. “He’s been so depressed since he found out about Gwen and Lancelot, and he’s been neglecting himself and his duties and taking out his frustration on everyone else, especially me. He’s been completely ignoring Gwen, which is entirely cruel if you ask me, he nearly got himself killed twice in training with the other knights because he’s been so distracted, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had to cover for him to Uther so he can continue moping in his chambers—and despite everything I do for him, the extra lengths I’ve taken to try to cheer him up and be there for him, he’s treated me like a dog! I’m tired of it, Gaius, I’m exhausted, and I’ve tried everything else to lift his spirits. He deserves some relief from his torment as much as I do. I mean—you brew draughts to help Morgana sleep and to help Uther with his shoulder pain, right? How is this really any different?”

Gaius looked very displeased, but he listened patiently before he spoke again. “This is plenty different, and I highly suspect you’re aware of it, despite how you may be trying to convince yourself otherwise. Merlin, I gave you that spell book because I trusted that you would be responsible with it, that you would only use your powers when absolutely necessary and only for the right reasons. Now, while I do trust you have a good heart, you have shown me more than once that you require some guidance, and I am telling you, this is not the way to handle things. I understand you’re feeling frustrated and desperate, but I know how strong you are, and I know you can overcome any challenge without enacting such enchantments on people you care about.” Gaius paused for a few beats, looking down at his feet, before peering up to add, “Have you tried talking with Arthur about his feelings?” 

“Only a thousand times,” Merlin muttered bitterly. “He’s never been exactly forthright with his feelings but now it’s a hundred times worse. Each time I’ve tried he’s shut me down and had me re-wash his laundry or scrub his floors. It seems all he wants is to stare out his bedroom window and think up some new chore for me to do so he can stand by and insult me while I do it.” 

Gaius thought for a moment. “Sounds to me like he’s looking for any excuse to keep your close company.”

Merlin scoffed. “He loathes my company, he tells me that all the time.” 

“If that were really true, Merlin, I think you would have been relieved of your position long ago,” Gaius shifted the supper tray out of the way so he could sit on Merlin’s bed beside him, joining him in staring down into the hole in the floor. “I know Arthur can be prickly with you, but I believe that’s precisely because he feels comfortable with you in a way he feels with no one else. He feels vulnerable with you, and maybe that makes him a bit more hostile on the surface, but he needs someone like that, someone he can be truly emotional with. He needs you, Merlin.”

“He certainly has a funny way of showing it,” Merlin mumbled, setting the spell book aside and pulling his knees up to his chest. Gaius gingerly pushed the book closed and stole a glance at Merlin, seeing plain the great well of jumbled emotions written on his face. In that instant, he perhaps understood why a person would be driven to the use of magic to ease the mental anguish of a loved one in such a way, but still he held fast in his position. 

“If you keep showing Arthur the care you do, one day he will feel secure enough to accept it, and he will be able to see it for what it is,” Gaius said vaguely. Merlin rolled his gaze slowly towards him, brow furrowed, but didn’t say anything. “He’s had his heart broken. Like any injury, it needs time to heal. This irritability of his will pass, and he will be thankful he had a friend at his side as he recovered.” Gaius rested a palm atop the spell book’s cover. “Promise me you won’t use any spell in this book to tamper with anyone’s feelings,” he instructed with a tip of his head and a serious look.

Merlin took a long breath through his nose. “...I promise.” 

“Good.” Gaius patted Merlin affectionately on the shoulder before standing up. “Now eat your supper before it gets cold again.” 

With that, the physician left, and Merlin stayed curled up in a ball of knotted feelings on his bed. When the door was closed between, Merlin incanted to open the book again, directly to the page with the Elixir of Bliss. After a moment of pondering, he went to close the book by hand, only to have his eye caught by his pile of ash-crusted clothes that he would have to wash before he could go to bed. Then, before he closed it, he very swiftly and carefully tore the page out.

“No spell in the book...” he whispered to himself, then returned the volume to its place under the floor, replaced the board, and folded the torn page to tuck it into his sock, once again leaving his food untouched.

The next day was as gruelling as the last. Merlin, despite his bone-tiredness, reported early to Arthur, and even though he was there and already laying out his clothes and re-polishing his chainmail when Arthur woke up, he immediately bit into him about his sword not being sharpened, despite having not used it since Merlin had done so the week prior. He did his best to grin and bear it through two meals, lots of Arthur moping about his chambers with brief breaks to wander the castle halls like a ghost, during one of which he had to lie to Sir Leon when he came to fetch him for training, and countless poison-soaked jabs. 

Merlin had found a spare moment to sneak the last few ingredients for the elixir from the kitchens and waited until suppertime to deploy it, knowing he would need wine to mask the taste and colour of it in order to get Arthur to drink it. He thanked the kitchen maid who came to deliver Arthur’s supper to his chambers, taking it and serving it at Arthur’s dining table by the fire. One glance at the flue had him more decided than ever about his plan as he felt the weight of the vial hidden in his pocket. 

“Oh, surprise surprise, chicken again,” Arthur fussed, peering at the food with narrowed eyes, having roused himself from his window-gazing stupor. “Bet it’s as dry as ever as well.” 

“I can go ask the kitchen for something else, if you like, sire,” Merlin offered, his chipperness coming more easily as his plan came together, standing attentively by. Arthur waved off the suggestion as he trudged over to the table and deposited himself in the chair, head hung. He looked over the contents of the plate, eyes glazed. His cheeks held a bit of golden scruff that shone amber in the candlelight, shaving a neglected one of his daily tasks that Arthur had never allowed Merlin to take up, citing his clumsiness. It was remarkable to Merlin how much older a bit of beard made him look, and how it might’ve even made him look more distinguished, if the rest of him wasn’t so rumpled and miserable. 

“Are you going to pour me a glass of wine, or would you rather have me choke on this brittle excuse for meat?” Arthur asked venomously, glaring up at Merlin without picking up his head.

“Of course, sire,” Merlin chimed, reaching for Arthur’s goblet, only to have it slip from his grasp just when it crossed the boundary of the table, clattering loudly on the floor. “Oops,” Merlin feigned, and stooped down to retrieve it.

“Good Lord, Merlin, I’d say you’d be fit to be a horse for all your frequent dropping, but at least a horse is good for something.” Arthur chided, and as he did, Merlin discreetly took out the vial from his pocket.

“I don’t think I have the legs to be a horse, my lord,” Merlin replied, swirling the vial a little. Then, as discreetly as he could, he whispered the incantation. He had to shield the vial with his hand as it began to glow orange like the setting sun, praying Arthur wouldn’t notice.

“No, you don’t. I’ve seen foals steadier on their feet than you. And what the hell are you doing down there?” 

Quickly Merlin poured the elixir, marvelling a little at how the glow left it and the liquid returned to clear as it filled the bottom of the goblet. He rose hastily back to his feet before Arthur could duck his head below the table, goblet in hand. “Sorry.” 

Arthur grumbled wordlessly and set to squashing his peas and potatoes into a grey-green slurry as Merlin took up the decanter and poured the gobletful of wine. He slid it across the table to Arthur with a little bow of the head, which the prince met with a sneer. Merlin watched intently as he went to take a sip, only to pause with the cup held in mid-air.

“Perhaps I’ll go hunting tomorrow. Bring home something better to eat than chicken.” 

Merlin was genuinely taken aback, lips stuck parted. That was the first bit of motivated talk he had spoken in weeks, and something genuine returned to the fever of despondency that had settled over him like cobwebs. Merlin felt a hopeful chord struck in his heart at that, and right next to it a guilty one. A sinking feeling came over him like the pitch of looking down a great height, and the memory of hedges and a cold beach and Arthur holding a very similar cup squeezed all the air out of him. As Arthur brought the drink to his lips, Merlin began to panic, and nearly lunged across the table to swat the goblet from his hand, but was stopped at a mere flinch when Arthur drew it away again to speak. 

“Then again, perhaps not. Toting a clumsy idiot like you, I doubt we’d catch a thing. Honestly, Merlin, sometimes I believe you’d die if left to your own devices without my help.” 

Your help? Merlin scorned behind pressed lips, wishing by a very quick heel turn for the relief of shouted outrage, but held his tongue. Because of that, the conflict drained from him, and he continued holding it while Arthur drank deep of his wine. After a moment, the prince smacked his lips, narrowing his gaze as he inspected the drink.

“This wine tastes different,” he commented, swirling it around some and giving it a sniff, peering around into nothing as he considered it.

“It’s from a new batch,” Merlin bluffed, barely keeping his temper, but managing in his curiosity as he watched Arthur’s every move carefully. With an exaggerated frown and another deep sniff, Arthur took a very short sip, keeping it in his mouth. Merlin held his breath. Arthur swallowed.

“It’s quite good,” Arthur said, following with another long sip, humming his satisfaction into the cup. 

Merlin blinked. “You think so?” 

Arthur made a loud refreshed gasp. “Very much so.” When he turned his gaze again on his servant, his posture was looser, no longer hunched, facing him fully, and he even smiled at Merlin, pleasant as sunlight. “You should try some,” Arthur encouraged, and then further to Merlin’s surprise, he held his goblet out towards him with a little nod.

Merlin hiccuped a nervous laugh and held up his hands, a little warm in his surprise. “Oh, no, sire, I—I couldn’t. Please, drink up.” 

Arthur gave a small shrug and brought the cup back to drain it, again letting out a little contented moan and grinning. Merlin grinned along with him, relief and pride in himself opening like a flower. It had been so long since he had seen Arthur smile. 

“You know, on second thought, maybe I will go hunting tomorrow,” Arthur said, taking up his fork and digging into his supper, taking a hearty chunk of chicken along with his slurry and stuffing his mouth full. “The knights always love a good hunt. And some of the smaller forest boars are slow and dumb, we should have a decent chance to haul one in.”

Merlin waited for the inevitable comparison as the invocation of dumb, but none came. Arthur continued chewing, digging up another bite, without any complaints about the food or the temperature of the room or Merlin’s idle presence at all. It was a genuine marvel, and Merlin couldn’t help but stare. When Arthur noticed him he slowed his chew, raising his eyebrows and cocking his head a bit to the side. 

“What?” he inquired. “Do I have something on my face?” 

“No,” Merlin huffed through a smile. “No, it’s just... well, you seem in better spirits all of a sudden.” 

“I feel in better spirits,” Arthur replied, eyelids fluttering a little with a look as satisfaction passed over his face as savoured another bite. “You’ll have to give my highest compliments to the cooks, because this is just delightful.”

Merlin couldn’t recall Arthur ever enjoying food beyond simple approval, or ever describing something as delightful, but his tone sounded to Merlin’s ear entirely sincere. 

“I’ll be sure to,” Merlin assured. 

The difference was like night and day. To everyone else, it seemed the next day that Arthur had just woken up on the right side of the bed, and they were all too relieved to question his sudden change of heart. Despite Merlin’s valiant attempts to cover for him, Uther had taken notice of Arthur’s gloom, and none were happier than he to see the prince invigorated and back to his usual duties. Merlin even watched Arthur say good morning to Gwen, who looked for a moment like she was seeing a ghost, but managed a pleasant return before they passed each other in the corridor. Catching Gwen’s smile was nearly better than having Arthur perfectly content, and Merlin grinned back at her with a little thumbs up. The only regret he carried was not thinking to use the spell sooner. 

While Merlin still would rather be doing nearly anything but hunting, it was like a vacation compared to the last weeks. Arthur joked with the knights, and while they only managed to snare a few rabbits, the prince’s mood was dampened none. And through it all, not a single insult or bully or tease to amuse himself or the knights. In Merlin’s wildest dreams, he never imagined hunting with Arthur could be pleasant.

He was so caught up in this euphoria that he barely noticed Arthur fall off his horse until one of the knights gave a shout. He hopped off his own with Sir Leon and rushed to his side, immediately dreading he’d been struck by some unseen archer, but when they reached him, Arthur was chuckling, half crushing a shrub. 

“I fell,” he laughed. Leon had reached him first and helped him back to his feet. 

Merlin sighed his relief. “Seems you did. Are you alright?” 

“Right as rain,” chimed Arthur. Before Leon let go of his arm, he frowned and reached up a gloved hand to Arthur’s shoulder, pulling his hand back to inspect it.

“You’re bleeding, sire,” informed Leon. 

“Let me see,” said Merlin, drawing close and all but pushing Leon out of the way. Arthur moved pliantly as Merlin angled him towards the sunlight to inspect his shoulder. There were some thin limbs from the crushed shrub stuck into his chainmail and pauldron, and as Merlin picked them out in search of a wound, one of them offered resistance. Arthur hissed in sharp pain before dissolving back to giggles. 

“I think that one’s in me,” he said, grinning. Merlin frowned, worry chewing on him. 

“I should get him back to Gaius,” insisted Merlin, glancing at Leon. 

“I feel fine,” said Arthur, but there was no argument in his words, just a simple fact.

“He may have hit his head on the way down,” continued Merlin, guiding Arthur back to his horse. Leon nodded and assured he’d finish up with the party and Merlin helped Arthur mount and instructed him to follow back to the citadel, which Arthur did without a word of protest. 

Merlin stood nervously by while Gaius performed some tests on the patched-up prince. The limb that had stabbed into his shoulder luckily hadn’t gone deep, just at a tricky angle, but Gaius warned that it could have just as easily pierced his neck, as Merlin already well knew. Arthur seemed entirely unbothered by the whole ordeal, following instructions and meeting Merlin’s every worried glance with a cheerful grin. 

Though he didn’t show it, Merlin knew Gaius knew practically from the moment they walked in the door. 

Gaius could find no evidence of a head injury, and though he told him to take it easy on the shoulder for a few days while his injury healed, gave him a clean bill of health. Arthur thanked him and hopped up from his stool and made his way towards the door out of Gaius’ chambers. Merlin tried to discreetly follow him, but Gaius stopped him with a look that made Merlin’s heave in a breath. 

“He’s very lucky,” Gaius told Merlin in a low voice. “It’s a small but painful wound, no doubt. And still, he seems rather blissful about the whole ordeal.” 

Merlin shrugged. “Arthur’s a tough guy.” 

“He could have been much more seriously hurt. He’s been riding since he was a child—he isn’t the type to just fall off his horse. There’s nothing medically wrong with him, but—” 

“Guess we’ll have to count our blessings then,” Merlin cut in. Gaius looked utterly disappointed, and his small sigh was like a sack of flour on each of Merlin’s shoulders. Before either of them could say another word, a singsong voice drifted down the corridor. 

“Mer-lin!” called Arthur, filling the syllables with more delight than the warlock had ever heard him put into them. With a sheepish smile, Merlin sidled past Gaius and hurried after the prince. 

Merlin couldn’t help but indulge in Arthur’s good mood, despite his lingering guilt. The next days were like a dream, one that was interrupted by the tension when he came home in the evening. Gaius barely spoke to him, and that alone was enough to keep Merlin awake at night, near sick with doubt. But the time the sun rose and Arthur bid him good morning, though, all of that was washed from him, and he found an unmatched solace basking in Arthur’s happiness. 

When Merlin was drawing a bath, Arthur was lingering by his chamber window, quieter than he had been all day. Merlin spied him curiously.

“Something on your mind, sire?” 

Arthur turned to him, arms crossed and stance wide. “There is, now that you mention it.” 

“Anything you’d like to talk about?” asked Merlin.

“Alright,” said Arthur, without a scrap of hesitation. “I’ve been thinking about Guinevere.” 

Merlin couldn’t suppress his smile. “What about her?” 

“She’s just so dreamy.” Hearing Arthur use the word dreamy was as jarring as hearing him say delightful and sublime , all words Merlin hadn’t known were in Arthur’s vocabulary, but Merlin refused to let that distract him. “She’s sweet, and brilliant, and she smells wonderful, and she might very well be the most gorgeous woman in all of Camelot.” 

Arthur had never been so forthcoming with his feelings about Gwen, and Merlin was nearly beaming with excitement as he finished filling the bath and checked the temperature. “You think so?” he encouraged.

“Indeed I do,” Arthur said, cocking his head to the side. 

Merlin took a bolder step. “Do you think you’ll tell her that?” 

Arthur considered for a short pause. “Yes, I think I will.” 

“Wait, Arthur—” Merlin started, then cleared his throat as Arthur turned back from his path to the door, catching himself and reining in his surprise. “Sire, perhaps you should bathe before going to talk with Gwen.” 

Arthur nodded and smiled. “Good thinking, Merlin,” he said, and Merlin melted at the praise—another of the recent treats Merlin had become a glutton for. 

While he was basking, he hardly noticed Arthur beginning to strip for his bath right where he stood, not bothering with his changing screen, and only just looked away before Arthur pulled his breeches off, sweet warmth boiling to abashed heat. He went so far as to shield his face with a hand to avoid stealing a glance at the prince. Arthur had allowed a lot of little things he wouldn’t have before over the past few days—letting Merlin take breaks throughout the day, carrying his own pack, even giving him an evening off—but Arthur had always been strict with bathing etiquette, and Merlin dared not approach the crossing of that line. 

Merlin kept his gaze on the floor as Arthur strode uncovered over to the bath and settled into it, not a lick of discomfort or shame about him, standing and bowing a little.

“Sire,” he dismissed, then hastily turned to take up his place in Arthur’s antechamber and wait for him to be done washing to dress him and empty the bath, as he always did. 

He froze when Arthur called him back.

“Merlin,” he beckoned, as easy and natural as a scrap of birdsong. As he relaxed in the warm bath waters, his voice was looser, and his name came out almost like a moan on Arthur’s breath. Merlin could feel all the heat in his body rushing to a single point and felt a little dizzy. 

“Yes, my lord?” Merlin asked, suddenly shy, without turning around. He reprimanded himself for the way the grunt of pain he heard accompanying a stir of the bathwater behind him made his heart flutter with something other than concern. “Is it your shoulder?” 

“I’m not sure,” said Arthur, sounding puzzled as he shifted again with a melody of little splashes. “I know this may sound strange, but that part of me feels... not entirely good. Is that mad?” 

Guilt prickled in Merlin’s belly. “You’re injured, sire. It’s normal for it to hurt.” Arthur didn’t respond, and Merlin grew worried. “Can... may I inspect it for you, to ensure it’s healing properly?” 

“Of course, Merlin.” 

Trying not to think about how Arthur had never sounded so compliant and how he was nude in the bath and seemingly unfazed by either thing, Merlin knelt at the side of the bath. He was careful to stay positioned just so at Arthur’s back to keep his eyes and his intimate areas blocked, which was hard with how Arthur was lounging with his arms and knees wide.

“Sit up,” said Merlin, a thoughtless instruction, but was taken aback again by how quickly Arthur followed his order. He looked over the series of small scratches and bruises mottling Arthur’s left shoulder, all scabbed by that point, even the nastier centrepiece where he had been pierced. 

“Nothing looks infected and it’s healing well,” mumbled Merlin, his gaze slipping a little down the hard swells and curves of Arthur’s back, connecting the other marks on his skin, old and fresh scars, like constellations. “You should be back to training in a few more days.” 

“Lovely,” Arthur said happily. “Thank you, Merlin.” 

That turned Merlin to a statue in place. All the confused feelings in him were swirled around as he was flooded with something that made his whole body feel impossibly light and heavy all at once. He swallowed hard.

“You’re welcome, Arthur.”  

When Arthur said nothing further, Merlin got unsteadily to his feet and hurried out of the room with a bow Arthur didn’t see. In the antechamber, he held his burning face in his hands and tried to calm down the various excited parts of his body. 

It wasn’t just falling off the horse. Merlin had kept a closer eye on Arthur after that, and though he convinced himself it was just the run-of-the-mill saving of Arthur’s life he always did, there were undoubtedly more close calls. When Arthur was nearly trampled by a runaway horse and cart while he and Merlin were passing through the Lower Towns, waving it off with a chuckle, Merlin’s worry began to tip his internal scales. He’d been sure to learn the counter-spell to undo the effects of the Elixir of Bliss, but he had continually convinced himself to allow just one more day before he used it, just a few more moments of this pleasant dream of an Arthur who never yelled or insulted him and even thanked him. But this Arthur felt increasingly like a stranger to him, and Merlin knew more and more surely that Gaius had been right. As sweet as it was, all dreams had to end. 

It was after Gwen had pulled Merlin aside to ask if he’d noticed Arthur acting off that he made the decision to undo the spell. She was more than a little worried, but she was also clearly uncomfortable, and confided in Merlin that while she appreciated that Arthur had stopped giving her the cold shoulder, his bold compliments and little gifts (which she had assumed were meant as compensation) were becoming too much, and when she tried to explain to him why he had to stop, he just didn’t seem to understand. 

“It’s like he’s forgotten he’s the prince of Camelot,” she had told him, chewing on her lip. “He was never like this before—he was always so respectful and careful. He knows why we can’t be together, not like that, but now... he just smiles and tells me that there’s nothing to worry about. I’m afraid he’s going to try something really stupid. Please, Merlin, can you try to talk some sense into him?” 

Merlin assured her he would and got to work right away on the potion for the counter-spell. 

That night at dinner, it was entirely too easy to distract Arthur by telling him there was an interesting bird on the windowsill for Merlin’s liking, and he was resigned to the fact that it was good he was the one sneaking something into Arthur’s wine and not someone who actually wanted to do him harm. As he mumbled the incantation and discreetly poured the counter-elixir while Arthur was still leaning and staring at the window, he marinated in his guilt. In the back of his mind, he thought about how he would have to find some way to make it up to Gaius for being right from the start.

“I don’t see it,” said Arthur, squinting hard and beginning to rise from his chair. “It’s really purple?”

“It, uh, might’ve been a trick of the light,” fibbed Merlin, settling Arthur back down into his chair. “Either way, it must’ve flown off. Here, sire—drink up.” 

Arthur shrugged and did as he was told, taking up the goblet. Merlin was going to miss that obedience, but he knew it was a purely selfish indulgence. Their fingers brushed as Arthur took the cup from him and Merlin shivered, rising a tint warmer. Arthur tipped the goblet and his head to Merlin with a big smile that showed off his teeth—a feature Merlin had also selfishly taken to admiring as Arthur had shown them off more.

“Cheers,” he said, and put the goblet to his lips.

Merlin sighed a heavy breath, allowing a moment to wallow in his disappointment, but was interrupted by Arthur drawing the cup away again to speak.

“You know, Merlin,” he started, drumming his fingers once on the table and holding the warlock fast in with his calm blue gaze. “You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever known before. While I can’t imagine my life being anything other than perfect, I think you’re one of the things that makes it as good as it is.” Arthur blinked slowly, eyes crinkled with a fond grin as he pored over Merlin’s face. “I’ve always thought very highly of you. I’m glad to have a friend like you.” 

As Arthur went to take a sip, Merlin shot out a hand and covered the top of the goblet, and his lips connected with Merlin’s knuckle. Unbothered but curious, Arthur looked back up as his servant, whose shoulders were heaving and who was flushed down into his neckerchief. 

“What is it?” asked Arthur with no alarm at all. Merlin felt like he was tumbling down a hill, unable to stop himself as the feeling of Arthur’s lips lingered on his skin like a hot iron brand. “What is it, Merlin?” 

With throat suddenly dry, Merlin could barely speak, his words creaking out of him. “Is... there... anything else?” 

“What do you mean?”

Merlin bit down hard on the inside of his cheek. He knew it was selfish. He knew it wasn’t right. He couldn’t be sure they were even Arthur’s words, they could well be nothing more than the enchantment talking, but they had sounded so genuine. Merlin couldn’t bear the thought of the opportunity slipping through his hands if there was any chance that Arthur might be offering him some as yet unspoken truth. 

“Is there anything else you want to say to me?” asked Merlin, almost whispering. 

Arthur slowly set his goblet down on the table and Merlin withdrew his hand. The prince narrowed his eyes. “Are you alright?” he asked, confused but not sounding worried. “You don’t look happy.” 

That nearly took Merlin’s knees out. He wanted so badly to tell him he wasn’t and all of the reasons why, unburden every tremendous pain and secret he toted each and every day as he followed Arthur around, but he knew he couldn’t. 

“Yeah, I’m alright,” assured Merlin, forcing a smile to cover up the quiet sob in his tone. “Sorry. It’s nothing—I’m fine. Eat your dinner.” 

Arthur watched him for a moment longer, shrugged, and dug into his food. Merlin watched him, standing dutifully at his side as he always did, and blinked away a mist of tears. Arthur washed down a large and rather unprincely bite with a big swig of wine, and once he had he blinked a little, going back for another sip. He tilted his jaw from side to side as he held it in his mouth, considering. 

“Is this another new batch of wine?” he asked.

“Yeah,” muttered Merlin, and then remembering himself and standing up straighter, amended, “yes, sire.” 

Arthur’s face slowly twisted and he wrinkled his nose. “A real step down from the last one. And why’s the wine being changed so much? I like our usual stuff.” 

Merlin made himself take a deep breath before answering. “I don’t know, my lord.” 

“Well, next time, Merlin, be sure to get the good wine, alright?” 

Merlin nodded and Arthur went on eating without further comment. When he picked up his drumstick, he took a glance Merlin’s way, but didn’t linger. “You can go.” 

Merlin faltered. “I... can?” 

“We’ll you’ve finished all of today’s work, haven’t you?” said Arthur, the draw of his brow pulling tighter as he rolled his neck and rubbed at his shoulder with a little wince. 

“Don’t touch it,” Merlin reprimanded lightly, a reflex. “It’s still healing.”

“I know that, Mer lin, I’m not a child,” snapped Arthur. The pain seemed to have crept back into his awareness, and as he tried to hide it he looked much more like himself than he had before. That gave Merlin a strange sort of relief, and all he could do for a moment was watch Arthur settle back into himself. Without looking up again as he picked at his food, Arthur added, “If you’re so eager to stick around, though, you can clean my boots—seems you’ve been slacking on that this week.”  

Merlin pressed his lips for a moment and piped up when Arthur looked at him again with eyebrows raised and mouth curled in a little confused sneer. “Sire, about these past few days...”

“What about them?” 

Merlin looked into Arthur’s eyes and saw the countless layers there, the reservation and poise in his little movements, the emotion he could never fully hide from anyone (least of all from Merlin), and his question was answered without him having to ask it. “Nothing. Nevermind.” 

Arthur frowned before returning to his dinner. “You’re acting very strange, Merlin. Are you sure you’re alright?” 

There was just a touch of worry there, a single leaf upsetting a rippled through a pond of other things, one that Arthur hadn’t shown in weeks in both his hazes of sulk or bliss—concern for Merlin. That made him smile ever-so-gently. 

“Yeah. Everything’s alright.” 

[julia4today]

the return of arthur pendragon - angst?? PT. 1

this is basically purely backstory, i needed to get something outtt (merlin x arthur)

a/n: this is probably the longest thing I've ever written. +I wrote this on a computer so everything is capitalized n stuff. and i want to say that im really sorry this is delayed and also the first thing ive posted in like two months. that's really on me. additionally, i have a reader x hobie fic coming out soon.

if you have sent me a request I WILL get to it, some may require more research and brain power. announcments: i have an ao3 (i havent posted anything on it though) pendragonco

Most imagine the afterlife to be a wonderland full of radiant flora and a deity only decided by yourself. A place where you may live out the years you never got to experience. But you would be wrong.

The truth is far more complex. It is a realm where echoes of your past deeds and dreams intertwine with the fabric of eternity. Time flows differently, like a river winding through the core of memories and contrition, where every choice made in life reverberates on the very existence of the universe. There are no simple paradises or solitary deities here, but rather a tapestry of existence woven from the threads of every life that comes before and leads after yours.

However, to Arthur Pendragon, both definitions seem untrue. It almost taunts him with how easy they make being dead seem to a new generation of the dead and the living.

To King Arthur, the afterlife is a treacherous wasteland, where the dead seemed unnaturally content despite their recent quietus. All he could do was curse his demise and all the unfulfilled ambitions that haunted him. He wondered about his darling Guinevere, how she fared, now tasked with ruling Camelot in his stead. He thought of the fate bestowed upon Gaius, the man he had trusted implicitly, who now carried the weight of the living through Pendragon's legacy.

But above all, his thoughts always returned to Merlin. A man he had once known. A man he had once trusted. Arthur imagined Merlin. Perhaps Merlin was so grief-stricken he never used his power again? Maybe he avenged the death of his king. For all Arthur knows, Merlin himself could've died, he too could have been cursed to this desolate ether. 

In reality, the world broke. His world broke. The once and future king, the man destined to unite the land of Albion, through magic and none, is now dead. Merlin, day after day, ran his last moments over. Cursing himself for the way Arthur left this world. If he had just listened to Kilgaraah if he had heeded his advice. If he had disposed of Mordred the first time they had met, the King would stand before him long after. No war would have ensued, and Camelot would no longer be in strife with war.

The day his death was announced to the citizens was a dismal one. Clouds cast over the town square, and the whole of the city gathered to hear the words from the queen herself. Gwen and Merlin stand where Arthur had stood just weeks prior. Where Arthur had announced war, Gwen shall announce the outcome of such a thing. 

“My dearest citizens of Camelot,” Her voice wavers. “It is with a heavy heart that I make this declaration. Our beloved king, Arthur Pendragon, has fallen in battle. The king lives no more. His bravery and dedication to our kingdom will forever be remembered. Let us unite in mourning his loss and uphold his legacy with strength and resilience. May his soul find an eternal peace” A long silence befalls Camelot. The only noise was the occasional strangled sob. Coming from townsmen and nobles alike. The knights stood on only one knee. Taking their solemn oath to the King to heart.

In the months that followed the death of the King, Merlin withdrew into solitude, seeking solace in the quiet corners of Camelot and the vast expanses of the surrounding countryside. Memories of Arthur haunted him—laughter shared over campfires, battles fought side by side, and the unspoken bond of friendship that had defined their lives. He found himself replaying every moment, every decision, wondering if there had been a different path—one that could have spared Arthur's life.

In the privacy of his chambers, Merlin poured over ancient texts and scrolls, searching for clues, signs, anything that might point the way to Arthur's return. His magic, once hidden away in fear of persecution, now burned within him with a fierce intensity—a testament to the depth of his devotion and determination. He thought of his previous journey with Arthur, a trip in which Arthur came back fuming at Uther. A trip where they had met with Ygraine, Arthur's mother.

He wonders what spell Morgause had used to conjure the image. Whether or not the image was manipulated, didn't matter so much to Merlin. If he could only see Arthur one last time. One more day. If he could apologize for his secrecy, if he pledged his allegiance to the king, if he could promise to carry out whatever plan Arthur had for Camelot, he would be content. Merlin had believed that if he could just find the right spell, he could bring back the king. Even if only for a short period.

Deciding this was easy for Merlin. Evoking Arthurs image not so much.

----

OKAY, i promise i will get part two out soon. my hobie fic comes out on sunday so

@maumnuu - this is mainly for you :p

[fandomfaeofveryfewf4cks]

Okay not to add to the angst, but you know how Arthur wakes up from Merlin magically talking to him from the crystal cave place and when Gwen asks him what's wrong, he says "Merlin" and it's obviously normal for him to wake up having dreamt about Merlin?

What if it's not only a gay thing? What if he regularly has nightmares about Merlin getting hurt or something because he's a terrible fighter and never wears armor but is always by his side, especially during the stupidly dangerous stuff?

Not to mention the last time (if I remember correctly) he spoke to Merlin, he made it clear he was disappointed in Merlin's show of what he thought was cowardice for not going into battle this time.

Maybe Arthur is considering this unusual choice of Merlin's (to not come with him) to mean he never really wanted to be in all those other dangerous situations and was only doing it because Arthur wanted him to. Even when Arthur told Merlin not to go, because Merlin always knows when Arthur needs his best friend (and "other side of the coin") by his side.

Maybe he's starting to think he was wrong to let Merlin anywhere near those dangers, no matter how much he needed and wanted him there.

Maybe even just in the other nights before Camlann's battle, Gwen has woken to Arthur being affected by terrible nightmares of Merlin showing up at Camlann anyway and immediately getting run through. Then dying in Arthur's arms; his last words being about how sorry he was. And how scared he is. How scared he's always been. Then being gone.

Then Arthur wakes, he fights, and soon the battle is over and Arthur is sure he's dying. Only wishing he could apologize to Merlin and tell him how much his friendship and loyalty has meant to him.

Then Merlin is there. He's alive and...

...he has magic.

Merlin has kept this secret from him and had lied and betrayed his trust and it's as though this is a different Merlin, a stranger who has killed the man Arthur once knew and is now trying to take his place.

But of course over the next few days, he realizes that that Merlin is still here. He is still by Arthur's side like he always is, protecting him, because he's the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the Earth, so he can. But also because Merlin is Arthur's friend and he doesn't want to lose him.

Unfortunately, there's nothing Merlin can do to save him this time. And all Arthur can do is say to Merlin something Arthur never said, or never said enough to him.

......Also, since I'm here, do you ever wonder if Merlin's excuses for why he had to go off and do secret magic stuff were always so shitty because he subconsciously wanted Arthur to call him out on it and make Merlin tell the truth so he could finally stop lying and be fully himself around Arthur, but Arthur never does because he wants Merlin to tell him himself as a way to show he trusts Arthur as much as Arthur trust him? Okay, bye.

[morri-draws]

Gwaine x Reader - 'The Threads That Bind Us' - Chapter 10

Story Summary:

You, a humble dressmaker from Camelot’s lower town, are commissioned to make a new gown for Queen Guinevere. Impressed by your skills, she offers you the position of Royal Clothier. During your time in the castle, you catch the eye of one of the knights of King Arthur’s inner circle, Sir Gwaine. What starts as a sweet courtship is turned upside down when misfortune strikes and you must deal with the aftermath, as well as an unwelcome visit from Gwaine’s unpleasant sister.

Rating: Mature

Tags: Female Reader/Gwaine, set between seasons 4 and 5, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort

Words: 2,202

Read Chapter 1 | Read Chapter 2 | Read Chapter 3

Read Chapter 4 | Read Chapter 5 | Read Chapter 6

Read Chapter 7 | Read Chapter 8 | Read Chapter 9

Read on Ao3

For the next four days, you spend the daytime sewing, and your nights in Gwen’s company. While her companionship makes your anxieties easier to bear, you remain eager for the king and his knights to return.

After your fifth dinner with Gwen, you do some tidying back at your chambers before preparing for bed. You blow out all candles but one, which you take up to your bedchamber, where you strip down to just your shift and stockings. In front of the basin mirror, you begin to unpin your haircap when you’re startled by a hard knock at your chamber door. Hastily re-pinning your cap and pulling on a robe, you take up the candle and stride across your chambers as the visitor knocks again, more forcefully. You open the door to find Gwen.

“They’re back,” She says. “Gwaine is injured,”

Your stomach drops.

“Gaius is seeing to him now,” Gwen continues. “I thought you’d want to know,”

Placing the candle down on the nearest surface, you blow out the flame and follow Gwen.

You arrive at the physician’s chambers. Gwen doesn’t bother to knock before heading inside, where she is met by the king. She embraces him before pulling back to speak.

“What happened?” She asks, peering behind her husband.

You follow her gaze to find Gwaine lying in a bed, his eyes closed and chest bare.

“He was stabbed through his side,” The king answers gravely.

You rush to the bedside, looking over your dear knight. His skin is sickly pale and a nasty, bloody wound oozes from the left side of his lower abdomen. He is unconscious, but his eyelids flutter, his face contorted in a pained frown.

“Can you save him, Gaius?” Gwen asks as she joins you at your side.

You glance up to find the old physician standing behind his workbench.

“I don’t like to make any promises until I am absolutely certain,” He says. “But I will do everything in my power to help Sir Gwaine,”

Your chest aches at the answer, which wasn’t one you wanted to hear. The physician doesn’t yet know if he can save the life of the man who has become so dear to you. You spot a nearby chair and drag it beside the bed, sitting down and taking Gwaine’s hand in yours.

“Where’s Merlin?” Gwen asks from beside you.

“The other knights also sustained some injuries, though much less serious than Gwaine’s,” The king answers. “Merlin is seeing to them in their quarters so Gaius has room to work in here,”

You clear your throat. “Is there anything I can do?”

Gaius gives you a sympathetic look, passing you a bowl of water and a cloth.

“You can clean his wound in preparation for me to apply a salve,” He says. “We need to start fighting off infection as soon as possible,”

You dip the cloth into the water and begin to dab away the blood surrounding the injury, revealing inflamed skin underneath. You clench your teeth as you dab at the wound, the exposed, meaty flesh making your stomach squirm.

“We’ll leave you two to tend to him,” The king says. “Send for me immediately if there is any change,”

“I will, sire,” Gaius replies.

Gwen gives your shoulder a comforting squeeze before she turns to leave with the king.

Gaius prepares some kind of concoction at his workbench while you continue cleaning the wound, refolding the cloth each time it becomes soiled to ready a clean section. After a time, Gaius turns your way and approaches the bed, a small metal dish in one hand. He pulls up a chair beside the opposite side of the bed.

“Gwaine may react when I apply this salve. I need you to hold him still while I apply it, otherwise he may aggravate the wound further,” He says.

You nod to show that you understand and Gaius dips his index and middle finger into the bowl, revealing a green coloured paste. He looks up at you to confirm that you are ready and you pull your chair as close as possible to the bed. You place your forearm over Gwaine’s chest, just resting it there for now, but poised to apply pressure if the need arises.

“I’m ready,”

Gaius applies the paste to the wound, his fingertips disappearing into the hole in Gwaine’s side. The knight groans and begins to writhe, so you press against his chest firmly, keeping his torso horizontal. Gaius withdraws and wipes his now bloody fingers on a cloth, before scooping up more of the salve. He applies it to the wound again, but doesn’t delve as deep this time, focusing mainly around the surface. Gwaine gives some resistance, but you don’t need to use as much force against him this time. Gaius wipes his fingers again before standing, returning the bowl to the workbench and retrieving a roll of bandage.

“We need to wrap the wound and give the salve some time to take effect,” He says as he returns to his seat. “I’ll need you to help me lift him,”

You follow Gaius’ lead, slipping a hand under Gwaine’s left shoulder as Gaius does the right, easing the unconscious knight into a sitting position.

“Now, if you can hold him up while I bandage him?” Gaius says.

You nod and, keeping your hand behind Gwaine’s shoulder, get off your chair and sit on the edge of the bed, so you can use your body, rather than just your arm, to hold Gwaine upright. Gaius begins applying the bandage, wrapping the cloth around the knight’s torso, encircling it a few times before tying the bandage ends and helping you to lower Gwaine down again.

Gaius stands and reaches for the bowl beside you, now filled with bloody water and the stained cloth. You pass it to him, and he takes it away to the worktable, before bringing you a fresh bowl of water and a clean cloth.

“Try to bring down his fever. I’m going to check how Merlin’s getting on with the other knights,”

He picks up a round, leather bag, slinging the strap over his shoulder before heading for the door. He unlatches it and turns back to you.

“You’ve done well,” He says, before leaving the room.

You dip the new cloth into the water and wring it out, folding it to a more manageable size to dab at Gwaine’s brow, which is beaded with sweat. Even though you don’t touch him directly while you apply the cool cloth, you can feel the heat radiating from him. You apply and refresh the cloth several times, working your way down his face and his neck. His breathing calms during your time sitting with him, and once you feel his brow again and are satisfied that there is an improvement, you place the bowl of water down and take Gwaine’s hand in yours once more.

“Gwaine… it’s me, (Y/N),” You say in a low tone. “I don’t know if you can hear me, but just in case you can: you can get through this. You just have to fight a bit longer. I know you can do it,” You bring his hand up to your mouth, pressing a kiss against the base of his fingers. “There’s so much I need to say to you. Please get better,” Your voice cracks and you squeeze your eyes shut, forcing tears down your cheeks.

You sit with him for some time until Gaius returns with Merlin.

“How is he?” Merlin rushes to his friend, placing the back of his hand against Gwaine’s forehead.

“His fever has improved some, and his breathing has calmed,”

“That’ll be the salve starting to take effect,” Gaius says as he walks across the room toward his patient. “It helps to dull the pain as well as fight infection,”

“Is there hope for him?” You ask, voice cracking.

Merlin comes to your side, places a hand on your shoulder as he looks into your eyes. “There is always hope,”

You reach up your own hand and place it over Merlin’s, thankful that there is someone else who cares much for Gwaine looking after him.

“You should get some rest yourself,” Gaius says. “You look exhausted,”

You glance at Gwaine, reluctant to leave him.

“He will be well taken care of here,” Gaius assures you.

“Of course,” You stand and head for the door, Merlin following behind to show you out.

“Merlin,” You stop in the doorway. “Please let me know if… when… he wakes up, won’t you? No matter the hour?”

Merlin nods. “I will,”

~

You awaken late the next morning to a pang of hunger. After washing your face and getting dressed, you make a quick breakfast before making your way to the physician’s chambers. When you arrive outside the door, you overhear raised voices from within.

“It isn’t right for him to still be suffering like this,” Merlin says.

“We must first exhaust all other courses of action,” Gaius replies.

“But I could end his pain now,”

“And how would I explain such a swift recovery to Arthur?”

“I’m sure you’ll think of something,”

There is a moment of silence before Gaius speaks again.

“I need to visit the apothecary. Don’t do anything while I’m away,”

You panic as footsteps approach, and you hastily knock on the door. It swings open no more than two seconds later, revealing Gaius.

“(Y/N), do come in,” He says, stepping aside to allow you to pass, before heading out.

You enter the chamber to see Merlin sitting beside the bed, arms crossed and brow creased in frustration.

“Are you alright?” You ask as you approach.

Merlin sighs. “Just had a disagreement with Gaius, that’s all,”

His eyes remain fixed on Gwaine’s unconscious face. You step closer, looking over the knight, before sitting in the empty chair beside the bed, feeling his forehead with the back of your hand.

“He’s very hot again,” You remark.

“He got worse overnight,” Merlin’s voice rises. “Gaius doesn’t–” He pauses, as if deciding what to say. “I know of an alternative treatment, but Gaius doesn’t even want me to try,”

“Why not? Does he not think it will work?”

“No, I suppose it’s just… different to his way of doing things,”

“Is it some kind of new treatment?” You ask.

“Something like that,”

You look back at Gwaine. His eyes flick beneath his eyelids, his brow knitting together as strained groans escape him.

“Is there a chance it could go wrong?” You ask.

Merlin looks up at you for the first time since you arrived. “No. I know it will work,”

You feel Gwaine’s forehead again; a pointless gesture since it of course feels exactly as it did a minute ago. His brow glistens with sweat, locks of damp hair sticking to his skin.

“He looks terrible,”

You eye the bandage around his abdomen. It’s stained red where his wound lies underneath, and the skin around it is pink and inflamed.

“Do it,” You say.

“What?” Merlin replies.

“Your alternative method. You should do it,” You look Merlin in the eye, to show him that you’re serious.

The young man’s expression changes from agitated to determined.

“Yes,” He stands. “I need,” He begins to pace, thumb against his chin in thought. “To prepare some ingredients. While I do that, you can… collect some fresh water from the well,”

He retrieves an empty bucket from nearby and thrusts it into your hands. You stand, holding the bucket, and give Merlin an encouraging smile.

“See you soon,”

~

Filling the bucket with as much water as you’ll be able to carry, you return to the castle at a slow pace, eventually making it back to the physician’s chambers, when you hear raised voices again, this time even louder than the last.

“– done it behind my back!” You hear Gaius shout.

“I couldn’t just sit by and watch my friend die!” Merlin responds. “I only got rid of the infection. Now you can focus just on healing the wound,”

There’s a pause before Gaius speaks again. “Where is (Y/N)?”

You knock on the door and pick up the bucket. Gaius answers shortly after.

“I got some water,” You smile.

“Ah, thank you, (Y/N), I didn’t realise we needed any,”

He reaches forward and takes the bucket from you, gesturing for you to come inside. You return to the seat beside Gwaine and look him over. His expression is much more peaceful and his face is free of sweat. Moving your gaze down to his abdomen, you notice the previously inflamed skin has returned to its normal colouring.

“He’s looking better,” You glance at Merlin with a smile.

“He won’t be returning to his knightly duties any time soon, but he will recover,” Gaius says, approaching the bed. “Merlin and I will redress the wound. In the meantime, (Y/N), you should return to your own duties. We will let you know when our patient awakens,”

“Alright,” You stand and smile at the physician. “Thank you for looking after him,” You turn to Merlin. “And remember, you can let me know –”

“No matter the hour,” Merlin finishes with a grin.

[thenerdyalien]

26 3

First of all, thank you so much for the ask! I've been wanting to participate in one of these Merlin ask games for a while <3

26. Post Merlin Headcanons?

Alright, while I usually like to believe that Merlin never returned to Camelot after Camlann (for angst reasons), I still think that Merlin would have come back (if not for Arthur, at least for Gwen and Gaius). He wouldn't return right away, but some months after Gwen's coronation (maybe after hearing some news of Camelot or how Gwen is doing as queen), and he and Gwen would bond again over their shared grief for Arthur and become a strong unit of platonic besties ruling over Camelot. Merlin would help Gwen lift the magic ban and maybe even help her raise Arthur's kid if she had gotten pregnant in the aftermath of Camlann...idk I just think it would be cute and together they wouldn't feel so lonely after Arthur's death.

In fact, I may or may not have a fic with that exact premise sitting in my drafts right now 👀

3. Villain you think deserved another chance.

Does Morgana count? Because I will forever be a Morgana apologist (up until Season 4 at least) and I really believe she deserved a better villian arc in the show (not just being reduced to a smirking villian). And what's frustrating about the writing in the show is that the pieces for that arc were already there in S1-S2, but the writers just wanted to speed-up her villian arc and ended up butchering her character in the process. But, even after everything, i still think she deserved some sort of redemption (at least in relation to the way she treated Arthur and Gwen). I mean, they didn't even have to do much, they could have just borrowed that storyline from the legends where Morgana is the one to go on the boat with him at the end and guides him to Avalon to heal before his time to return. It was all right there!!

Sorry if this is super long, apparently I had a lot of thoughts about this 😅

[mytwotragicgaymen]

Magic reveal playlist

Ok bois strap in this might be a long one. First off this post is inspired by this work on ao3 by @heyitskai2 (thank you so much for this btw). I don't know about yall but I sometimes like to make playlists of scenarios (where are my maladaptive daydreamers at) and this time I decided to make a somewhat specific one: Merlin's magic reveal to Arthur, specifically the one described in the work I mentioned just now.

For those of you who are too lazy to check it out (which you definitely should it's really good and quite short) the gist is that instead of Arthur catching Gwen cheating on him with Lancelot, its Arthur discovering that Merlin has magic (with the implication of an already existing romantic relationship or feelings), which is followed up by Merlin's banishment from Camelot.

Now, few things to get out of the way before we begin:

The lyrics might not match completely in some of the songs. That's fine, we are working with a very specific scenario after all.

The playlist is short, just 8 songs and all have reoccurring artists. We're going based on vibes, not variety.

Speaking of variety, the genre of this playlist is a clusterfuck of whatever I want it to be.

This playlist is more from Arthurs perspective though some songs can be applicable to Merlin.

Link to Spotify playlist is here.

That being said let's move on to the playlist:

Decode by Paramore - this is the song that @heyitskai2 talks about in their work. The big, booming reveal that is angry, emotional, and full of angst. Arthur is upset. Merlin is upset. No one is happy. Everyone is angry and sad and miserable.

Black Out Days by Phantogram - Arthur, in a flash of fury, decides to banish Merlin from Camelot. Consumed by rage he cannot think of anything else other than Merlin and at the same time, he tries to fight away any and all thoughts of Merlin.

The Day You Died by Phantogram - Arthur fights with the conflicting feelings of banishing Merlin. Kind of in a limbo of emotional turmoil, flip-flopping from feeling anger and resentment, and also trying to convince himself that he is "fine" and that Merlin is "just a traitor".

All I Wanted by Paramore: kind of applicable to both Arthur and Merlin. As they dwell on about their choices and ways they could've avoided this happening. Truly letting their feelings settle in, and understanding what is going on aside from just anger.

The Night We Met by Lord Huron - the big sad settles in. Both start missing each other and reminiscing about their life before everything collapsed. Realizing just how much they love and need each other.

Abstract (Psychopomp) by Hozier - This is basically Arthur coming to terms with the fact that even though Merlin lied to him, he understands why, and how he is also at fault (what with the magic being illegal in Camelot). Despite Merlin breaking Arthurs trust, he finds that he can't not love Merlin. And truly, even after this, Arthur still finds that he trusts Merlin wholeheartedly.

Meet Me in the Woods by Lord Huron - the more Arthur thinks about magic, the more he understands, not only Merlin, but also all the magic users. Realizing the error of his fathers ways. This incident has changed him forever and he now works on changing things in Camelot for the better. He misses Merlin horribly, but is uncertain of how Merlin feels towards him. Perhaps he is angry and disappointed in Arthur? Arthur decides to send Merlin a letter announcing that his banishment has been revoked and that he is welcome back to Camelot, if he wishes to return.

I, Carrion (Icarian) by Hozier - It's been a while, and there is no answer from Merlin. Arthur is overcome by bittersweet emotions. On one hand, he's happy for him. Thinking about how Merlin is probably in a better, safer place. On the other hand, he can't help but wish to be Merlin's safe place. And so, he tries to do for the people of Camelot what he could not do for Merlin: making Camelot a better and safer place by legalizing magic. And on a nice, sunny day, while Arthur is out, riding his horse in the woods, in the distance, he sees a figure approaching. Merlin.

[adhd-merlin]

Twenty questions for fanfic writers:

(Nobody tagged me I'm just procrastinating!!)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

42, but most of my older stuff is on livejournal, where it shall remain.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

193,392.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now only Merlin. I’m a ‘one fandom at the time’ kind of person.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Four out of five are Sherlock fics and I doubt anyone cares about that, so I’m going to make it Top 3 Merlin fics:

Call It Anything We Want (Arthur/Gwen/Merlin) - link

All Downhill from Here (Merlin/Arthur) - link

Unwavering (Merlin/Gwaine) - link

I like that it’s a mix of ships!

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do! I like talking to other people about The Characters. Sorry if I’ve ever rambled at you.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don’t really write angst. The only one I can think of is a Sherlock fic based on the theme of mismatched names in a soulmate AU (if this means anything to you). The first part was bittersweet (Sally Donovan/Harry Watson), the second part just sad (John/Sherlock)—both probably not that good. I wrote it a decade ago and I’m not going to re-read it now to see if I am right.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Call It Anything We Want. Everything gets solved and everyone is happy! The end.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

None so far!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Sometimes! All kinds :)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Generally I don’t, but funnily enough the fic of mine with the most kudos is a Sherlock x Harry Potter crossover. (It was for a fanfic exchange and my recipient had this crossover on their wishlist.) There’s nothing particularly crazy about it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone asked me if they could translate a fic of mine once and I said it was fine, but they never got back to me with a link, so I don’t know if they actually did it. I don’t think so.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Ooooh this takes me back. Yes—nothing that was ever published, but I did attempt to co-write a fic with a fandom friend once. We had become friends through livejournal by commenting on the same on-going fic—and when I say friends, I mean we ended up exchanging emails, photos, talking about personal stuff and chatting for hours every day.

Which might not sound like a big deal now, but this happened over 15 years ago, when people didn’t carry the entire internet in their pocket, and chatting with someone for hours meant sitting at the family computer in the living room. Also there was a 6-hour time difference between us.

It escalated to the point where we were making promises to visit each other someday and I had even told my mum about him, but one day he just vanished. (This wasn’t romantic by the way—he was gay, I was questioning; it truly was ‘just’ being friends). Never found out what happened to the guy and I was heartbroken about it for a while. Needless to say, that fic never got finished.

It was a Brokeback Mountain modern AU by the way.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I’ve never written or read any Jane Eyre fic but I’m going to say Jane Eyre/Mr Rochester. I just love them individually and as a couple.

As a fanfic reader, while I do have favourite ships, I’m fairly open-minded, and to me an exceptionally written story trumps a specific pairing any day. For example, I’ve read loads of John/Sherlock fics, but what ended up sticking in my mind years later are the fics that were very original or well written, regardless of the ship—like the one where Mycroft and Anthea are the same mind in two bodies and John ends up dating both, or the fem!Lestrade/Mycroft fic (even though this wasn’t a ship I particularly cared about), or the one where John and Sherlock have to take a seal to a sanctuary (gen). On the other hand, most of the Johnlock fics I've read have blurred together, even if (or maybe because) this was the ship I read more fics about.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There’s one in which Merlin and Gwaine go on a diplomatic visit to the Druids which has been sitting in my Google docs folder for a while, but first I want to finish another fic, because I’ve already written most of it and it’s been languishing in my drafts for even longer. I think I’ll finish the latter eventually—if only for sunk cost fallacy reasons—but I’m not sure about the Merwaine one (which might be platonic Merlin & Gwaine, by the way—I’ve not really decided).

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’ve been told by some that my characterisation was good, but I suppose that’s quite subjective.

One thing I’m trying to pay more attention to now is the overall narrative structure—I don’t write long fics, but even with shorter works you still need an inciting incident, a climax, and a resolution at the very least. I didn’t use to think about it much, but I’m trying to be more mindful of it. Just…making sure those elements are there, I suppose, and that the pacing doesn’t feel off. Not saying I’m good at it but I like to think it’s made my writing a bit better?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Basic ass prose lol. I started writing fanfic to post online when I was a teenager with a poor grasp on the English language, and what helped me immensely at the time was keeping in mind my English teacher's advice to “just KISS!!” (“Kiss It Short and Simple”).

I still think about it to this day when I get stuck, and it is very helpful when you just need to get the words out and on the page, but it doesn’t make for beautiful prose.

Sometimes I read other people’s work and marvel at their precise use of vocabulary, their inventive metaphors, their evocative language—then I look at my own writing and it’s like, “They were in a room. She was wearing a red dress. It was dark outside.” You know what I mean? But I do this in my spare time as a hobby so I don’t stress about this too much. I’m not trying to win the next Pulitzer Prize or anything.

That and I’m not good at describing stuff. I don’t like descriptions. “They were in a room”—oh, what did it look like? I don’t know! Use your imagination.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

My thoughts are: do it sparingly, do it only if there is a point to it, and try to get it checked by a native speaker (or at the very least do some basic research to make sure it is correct). I have nothing against it in theory, but it can be off-putting to a reader who happens to speak that language if the dialogue sounds unnatural or is just plain wrong. If we are talking about dead or fictional languages it’s not as important, I guess, but never assume there won’t be a nerd who knows Old English or Sindarin ready to correct you.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Brokeback Mountain. Weirdly enough, it had a very active fandom on livejournal back in the day.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I don’t remember them all, but for Merlin I’m going to say this ficlet in which Arthur and Gwen have a baby called Ygraine and Merlin is the doting third parent/uncle figure.

It’s actually part of a Merwenthur series but it can be read on its own as Arthur/Gwen + best friend Merlin. I just want them to be happy!!!

Excerpt:

Scattered on the floor around the three of them are a couple of the rag dolls Guinevere enjoys sewing, some of the wooden figurines Merlin enjoys carving, and the wooden sword Ygraine enjoys smacking on people’s heads. She’s going through a phase — which Arthur finds slightly unsettling, even though Guinevere assures him it is normal — in which she seems to delight in the mild suffering of others, and gleefully seizes the opportunity to cause it when it presents itself. The methods employed are varied and impressively effective in their simplicity: pulling hair, twisting noses, biting fingertips, grabbing ears — especially those of people who insist on making themselves an easy target by parading around with a pair that looks so easily grabbable — and other such tricks as can be devised by the devious mind of a baby who can now confidently rely on her grasping skills. (...) Ygraine’s improper handling of a sword is unimportant, since that can be easily fixed with proper training; her fledgling sadistic streak, on the other hand, is slightly more worrying, being something Ygraine cannot have inherited from her mother, and having thus prompted in Arthur a level of self-scrutiny he doesn’t feel entirely comfortable with.

I also quite like An Act of Balance actually (Daemons!AU, Gen, Arthur & Merlin). I don’t think it’s the best thing I’ve written or anything, it was just fun to write.

Excerpt:

“So,” Merlin said, his voice muffled, due to him being half-inside Arthur’s wardrobe. “Gwen told me you’ve been asking questions about my daemon.” Arthur choked on the water he was drinking. “Sire?” Merlin stuck his head out, looking at Arthur in concern. “I’m fine!” Arthur rasped out, thumping his chest with his fist. Merlin grabbed a couple of shirts from the wardrobe. “Red or blue?” he asked, holding up first one and then the other, while Arthur tried to get his coughing under control. “I think blue. More flattering. I would’ve told you if you’d asked.” “That… blue flatters me?” Arthur asked hoarsely, blinking back tears. “About my daemon,” Merlin said, looking at Arthur as if he despaired of his intelligence.

tagging (if you feel like it): @agapantoblu @centurieslove @sexy-sapphic-sorcerer @holocrone @0hheytherebigbadwolf

@thefollow-spot @liviapeleia + anyone who wants to answer these (consider yourself tagged by me 🫵)

[namelessalessandra]

The prince of my heart

Arthur Pendragon x reader

Plot: you were forced to marry Arthur Pendragon but not everything goes according to plan until…

Angst with happy ending

Warnings: none I think but if you find any, tell me and I’ll add them

Plus English is not my first language so there could be some mistakes

P.S. if you know Italian you can preorder my book here:

When I was told that I would marry Prince Arthur Pendragon I was so happy, I had heard so many good stories about him, his courage, his loyalty, and I was sure that mine would be a happy marriage, that I would be envied by every lady in the realm. Then came the wedding day, I was woken up at dawn so I could prepare myself perfectly, to match the beauty of my soon to be husband. I crossed the aisle to reach him in front of all the imported members of the kingdom with trembling legs and an excited smile, and for a few moments, as they made us husband and wife, Arthur smiled at me sweetly. For a moment I really believed I had realised my dream. Until, immediately after the ceremony, during the banquet, I realised the looks he directed at his half-sister's servant. Gwen, over time I had learned that to be her name. Arthur spent only a few nights with me, to carry out his task as a husband, and the rest of the time he took refuge in his royal tasks, ignoring me altogether. I had learned not to let it hurt me, I had become friends with Morgana and we spent a lot of time together, chatting, reading, walking. She had the foresight not to put me and her servant in the same room at the same time, not because I could do something unpleasant, but because she cared about my suffering, and had the sensibility of not throwing in my face that my husband was in love with another. A woman who had nothing in common with me and whom I could never replace. No matter how hard I try, bringing him food when I know he doesn't have time to reach the room to sit at the table with us, no matter how hard I try to understand him, help him, to take away the burden that weighs on his shoulders, due to having to carry the crown one day. The only answer I get, in return, is the humiliation of seeing him smile and chattering amiably in public with Gwen. The same Gwen who now pours wine to him, blushing at something he's telling her, but that I, despite being by her side, can't hear.

-Do you like the party, dear husband?- I decide to ask, when the brunette walks away from him. Arthur turns to look at me for a single moment before returning to enjoy the show of the dancers in front of us while nodding his head

-A lot, wife. Thank you. Although I have to admit that I don't understand why you may have organised all this, when in the village many complain that they don't have enough food to feed themselves- his words hit me like blades. Merlin, who had approached us perhaps to say something to his master, freezes on the spot and takes a worried look at me. Sometimes it happened that he found me in some secluded corner of the castle, so as not to be seen while I was crying, and tried to console me. I sketch a smile at him looking at me with pity, holding back my tears and clearing my voice.

-This is why I asked for a party to be held in the village as well, so that everyone can celebrate the endeavours and successes of their future king, and can eat as they deserve. Now if you will excuse me I'm very tired, I think I'll go to rest- I just answer, I move the chair away and, without him deigning me of a look, I leave the room. One of the first things I asked, after understanding Arthur's feelings towards Gwen, was to have a bedroom of my own. My husband did not discuss my application at all and had me prepare rooms where I could stay, and where he comes to visit me when he has to fulfil his task. Over time, this room has become my refuge, and days happen when I don't go out at all, letting Elizabeth, my personal servant, bring me food. When I close the door behind me and lean against it to take deep breaths, I hear the sound of footsteps and then a hand knocking.

-(Y/N), it's me, dear. Open the door- Morgana's voice comes to me muffled by the wood, I hurry to dry my cheeks moistened by the few tears that escaped me and effort a smile as I open the door. She hugs me, right after closing the door behind her.

-Arthur is an ungrateful fool. Tomorrow I'll talk to him and you'll see if he won't bring you more respect soon. All the ladies have heard his answer and are doing nothing but comment- she whispers to me angrily, as she passes a hand through my hair to untie them from the hairstyle I had prepared specifically for him.

-It's all right, Morgana. There is no need for you to talk to him- I murmur away from his arms, before finding myself bent in two by pain, with broken breath.

-(Y/N), what's going on? I call someone right away, I'm going to call Gaius- exclaims the alarmed brunette, I try to tell her that there is no need, that in my condition it is normal, my mother always told me, to prepare me and not be scared, but from my mouth comes nothing but a moan of pain. Morgana, therefore, helps me sit on the bed and runs out. A few minutes later he returns followed by Gaius, but my pain is waning.

-I would still like to carry out checks, if it's okay with you- proposes the old man, and although I try to refuse, the princess insists that my health be checked and so some time later Gaius is confirming what until now for me was a hypothesis that I was hiding behind wider skirts.

-You are pregnant, my lady- her words are followed by a shocked verse of Morgana looking at me excitedly. With my heart in my throat I sit down

-I ask you, please, not to tell anyone. Not yet. I'll think about making the announcement. Please- I ask letting my gaze swing from one to the other. They both nod, understanding, and let me rest.

The next day I decide to stay in the room all morning, Elizabeth brings me food and Morgana comes to visit me to keep some company. She asks me to join them for dinner and I don't want to disappoint her. So I get ready, wearing one of my most beautiful dresses and, slowly, I walk to the room where we will eat. As soon as I enter I have just enough time to hear voices arguing before hiding so I can listen. The parlour is still empty, except for Arthur, Merlin and Morgana.

-What do you want me to tell you, Morgana? We are married and I do my best with her, but I still don't know her so well- Arthur's voice is annoyed, I hear the sound of wine being poured and then Morgana talking.

-You could at least stop the rumours that are going around, you are the prince and she is your wife. You should bring her more respect- scolds him -if you knew how sad she was last night for how you addressed her, after spending the whole week organising that stupid banquet, also taking care that the people received part of the food so as not to upset them- she continues, stubborn. Arthur sighs and, before things can degenerate, I decide to fake my arrival as if I hadn't listened to anything.

-(Y/N), what a nice thing to see you. Tonight you look great! - exclaims Morgana, the first to see me. Merlin gives me a smile as Arthur turns to look at me and stands up coming towards me.

-I apologise for my behaviour last night, (Y/N), I should have been nicer to you- he turns to me as he moves my chair to make me sit down. I smile at him, pretending not to know that his words are only due to the half-sister' request, and I take a seat. When Uther also reaches us, we eat in silence. Morgana, sitting in front of me, throws looks at me smiling. She wants me to make my announcement but I don't feel ready yet.

-I think (Y/N) wants to announce something- she says out of the blue, I incinerate her with my eyes when everyone's eyes are on me. With my heart in my throat I rest my cutlery next to the plate and clear my voice, but when I open my mouth to speak my head starts spinning quickly and, when I try to get up, I lose my balance and fall. Arthur grabs me in time, preventing me from hurting myself and everything becomes very confusing.

I open my eyes again to find myself in a room that is not mine. I look around confused. I remember my head spinning like crazy and then everything went dark. I try to get up, recognising Arthur's room.

-Easy, you're still not strong enough to get up, Gaius said to be careful. That in your condition you shouldn't get tired- it's my husband's voice the first thing I hear, a few seconds later it appears in my field of view. Between his hands he has a tray full of food and puts it on my legs before arranging my pillow and asking me how I feel. As an answer I move the head up and down, scrutinising what's on the tray.

-I asked the cook to prepare your favourite dishes and brought them to you so you don't have to get out of bed- explains noticing my obvious confusion. I mention a smile before murmuring a thank you and drink some orange juice. Silence reigns for a few moments.

-Why didn't you tell me, (Y/N)?- Arthur asks while I'm chewing some meat. Judging by the sunlight it must be early afternoon. I feel disoriented and I would like to burst into tears in front of his disappointed look, so I down mine.

-I wasn't sure until the night of the party. When I returned to my room, an illness struck me while talking to Morgana and Gaius came to check my health. He gave me the confirmation and... I was thinking about the right way to tell you, the perfect opportunity. I didn't want to bother you as with the party- I murmur in a low voice, Arthur doesn't answer me right away, in fact he takes his place by my side, on the free side of the bed. Hunger has passed so I move the tray away but he puts it back on my legs.

-I'm sorry, I was insensitive. Ever since we got married, I've done everything to keep you away from me, hiding behind my duties, because I was afraid. I remember my father's suffering when my mother died, she accompanied him for much of my childhood, and even now when someone appoints her, sadness can be seen in his eyes. I didn't want us to bond sentimentally because I'm terrified that what happened to them could happen to us, I was convinced that if I kept you away... we could become friends and nothing more- he confides and when I look up, in the middle of his speech, I meet his gaze full of regret and sadness.

-But with Gwen you don't seem to be so terrified- I comment, playing with a piece of bread next to the meat still almost completely intact. Arthur watches me confused, for a few moments.

-Gwen?- he questions, in fact, before he widens his eyes as if he just understood and bursts out laughing. Is he making fun of me? With red cheeks from humiliation I take the tray off my legs again and get up, but he immediately stops the laughter, gets out of bed and runs to my side to stop me. When I try to push him away he grabs me by the arms and, taking advantage of my momentary weakness, imprisons me against his body.

-Please don't leave. There is nothing between me and Gwen. Believe me- he talks with his face a few centimetres from mine, my breath breaks, I look him in the eyes and I would like to believe him. With all my heart. But I can't.

-Don't make fun of me, Arthur, I see the complicity between you, and I hear how the women of the realm talk about you when they think I'm not listening. It's already quite humiliating like that, I don't need you to lie to me shamelessly- furious comment, I try to squirm again, but Arthur blocks my arms behind my back and, in doing so, our faces come even closer. I hold my breath, feeling my stomach upside down.

-There is nothing between me and Gwen, (Y/N)- he repeats, without taking his eyes off mine. I feel the mattress pressing against the back of my legs but I don't fall on it because Arthur is holding me against his chest. The intense look chained to mine, his fresh scent enters my nostrils, while the sun coming in through the window surrounds him almost as if he were an angel.

-So why are you always with her? You talk, laugh, why do you do with her what I would like you to do with me so much? Why do you let them talk about me in the realm like the unsuspecting stupid and betrayed wife? - I ask, breathless for the discussion but also for the closeness. Arthur breathes deeply before answering.

-I didn't think you listened to the rumours- he just murmur, with a bitter laugh I take advantage of his loosening his grip on me and forcefully push him away so I can leave, but he grabs me from behind, clutching me from the waist. My back against his chest, as he shakes my hands to hold me steady and weaves our fingers over my belly, where right now our baby is forming. He puts his forehead against my neck.

-Believe me, there is nothing between me and Gwen. She feels something for Merlin and I'm helping her conquering him- he murmurs against my skin, his warm breath gives me chills -and she helps me, because it's since you became my wife a month ago that I've been constantly torn between keeping you away to protect you and running to you to hold you in my arms, even if only to breathe your scent, which is so good. When you asked to have your private rooms I was about to deny it, I didn't understand why you wanted to stay away from me. Gwen explained to me that it was my behaviour that hurt you and, despite asking me to talk to you and clarify with you, I didn't listen to her and I was a fool. Please believe me if I tell you that there is nothing between me and her- add slightly tightening the grip around my body. I let myself go slightly against him, leaning my head back against his shoulder. I close my eyes, holding back tears of relief. It's not true that he loves Gwen.

-Can you forgive me? I promise that from now on I will spend all my time winning you back- he whispers moving his face from my neck and starting to leave kisses along my cheek and on my temple. I turn around in his arms and open my eyes to look at him. He is already looking at me, full of hope.

-You will put an end to the rumours that go around about us- I start talking, he nods. -And when we are in public you will never talk to me again like at the party- I add, he nods leaning his forehead against mine, murmuring a series of "I promise you". I place one hand on his chest.

-When I do something for the palace, I always strive to help the people as well. I would never have let them starve while we were feasting- I still talk, he squeezes me from the hips and inhales my scent

-I'm sorry, I was a fool- he murmurs against my ear, then leaves me a little kiss. -Will you go back to share the room with me?- he asks right after, a trembling breath escapes from my mouth.

-Yes, I'll be back to share the room with you. But until the baby is born, you will never leave me alone. I'm terrified- I whisper letting my fingers slip through his hair. He raises his face to look at me again and smiles.

-I will never leave you again, even when the baby is born. I promise- he whispers and waits for me to give him consent before kissing me. For the first time, since the wedding day, our lips meet in a sweet, delicate way, full of feeling, instead of hasty, during a relationship that once concluded will take us even further away. Arthur squeezes me against him, moaning in my mouth, and smiling in the kiss.

-But now eat, we don't want what happened last night to happen again, don't we?- he asks when he gets away from me and helps me get back to bed. I see him walking towards the door and I frown.

-Where are you going?- I ask when he is on the threshold, he turns to me without stopping smiling

-I’ll order to prepare your things to come back here. Then I will come to you and help you eat, you're still weak. And I will warn my father that for the rest of the day I will be here to take care of my wife and our future baby- his words warm my heart, and my stomach fills with warmth especially because he really does. He orders the servants to prepare my things, talks to his father and then comes back to me, letting me lean against his chest and feeding me slowly, until I eat everything he had brought. Since then the rumours circulating in court have ceased, and Arthur and I make up for lost time by being together every moment when he is not committed to his duties. Finally everything is fine.

[earlgreyinpajamas]

Do you have any comfort fics? Like, fics where you’re having a bad day and rereading them makes you feel better?

merthur

1. match made in (heaven) by radioactivesunflower

“You are a client. This is my job. I’m not here to be your best friend. I am here to make the best match for you so you can find love. If you are not going to take this seriously, just leave. I have plenty of people who want my services.”

By this time, he had finished his little rant. Arthur’s smile was downright wicked as he leaned forward in his seat, holding eye contact with Merlin. “I was just going to do one meeting to please Morgana and piss off after, but you know what?” Merlin didn’t want to know what, as it sounded very bad for him.

“You intrigue me, Merlin. Let’s see you work your magic! Find me my true love, wizard boy.”

aka the one where merlin is a matchmaker and a big fat lair arthur likes to spend most of his time annoying merlin a love story between a matchmaker and client that share a past only one knows about

~~~

a newer fic but it gave me fuzzies when i finished so it has been promoted to comfort fic

2. The Proposition by fifty_fifty

Hit by another scandal and with the reputation of the monarchy hanging on by a thread, Prince Arthur finds himself in desperate need of an image rehabilitation.

When the press assumes his blossoming friendship with his maths tutor Merlin is more of a romance, his father proposes a proposition: ask Merlin to continue portraying a wholesome relationship for a few months to regain the prince’s reputation, and receive his university costs paid off in full in return.

With his image restored and a new beau lined up, Arthur is left with a difficult decision; bend to his fathers will, or defy him.

In the end, it’s not such a tough choice. Love always wins.

~~~

just them being in love + the ending also gave me toothaches therefore a comfort fic

3. With Flowers in Your Hair, With Courage in My Heart by Mischel (@magicalmischel) 

Merlin's magic has always been connected to his emotions, but when it starts reacting to his love for Arthur and flowers start appearing every time he looks or thinks about him, instead of a confession he chooses to pretend he has a magical cold. Arthur doesn't like it when Merlin avoids him though. And neither does Gaius. Or Morgana. Or Gwen. Or even the bloody dragon, it seems.

Sooner or later, they'll have to talk. And Merlin can only hope that Arthur won't mind the mountain of flowers they're swimming in because really, it's his fault for being so damn good-looking.

Written for the flower mini-challenge on the Merlin Fic Book Club server on Discord.

+ ART

~~~

and this is angst free and full on fluff for a really bad day

00q

Spies That Are Ridiculous by Celyan

James has plans for his Quartermaster.

~~~

they're in love. that's the plot

2. Third Valentine’s the Charm by Castillon02 (@castillon02)

The first time, Bond was in Rio from 3 to 16 February, and between him and 003 in Kiev, Q didn’t even think about Valentine’s Day until he was browsing the half-priced chocolate at his local Waitrose.

~~~

they're such dorks i want to keep them in my pocket forever

3. Casting On by storm_of_sharp_things

Bond and Q are delicately knitting a relationship together but Bond is far too free with gift-giving for Q’s taste.

~~~

asdhfjkjfhl bond

[larluce]

I want to talk about Arthur's reaction to Merlin being a sorcerer in magic reveal fics.

There are the ones that portray a very violent and cruel Arthur. Fisically injuring Merlin on impulse or trying to supress his magic with cold iron. Almost killing him by accident due to outburst or ignorance for him to feel very guilty afterwards. I get why they do it. The angst and drama. And, while there are very well written fics with these prompts, I don't actually believe Arthur would react that way. No matter how betrayed, angry and hurt he feels.

True, there were occasions where Arthur reacted badly, or really, just two occasions: when Morgause told him the truth about his birth and he almost killed his father, and when Gwen "cheated" on him with Lancelot and banish her. However, in the first scenario he genuinely believed his father had killed his mother just out of selfishness, the mother he never got to meet and blame himself for her death all his life, and then killed thousands, not really out of guilt or revenge which probably was Uther main motive, but out of pure hypocrisy. Honestly, even the most kindhearted and nonviolent person would react that badly! I don't think we can compare learning your best friend lied to you about being a sorcerer for years with that. When it came to Gwen though Arthur was actually merciful. As King he should have had her executed, he couldn't NOT punish her in some way because there were witnesses and he couldn't be look as a weak or unreasonable King. And even as angry as he was, he let her explain herself, he was willing to listen to what she had to say. Looking a little backwards, when Arthur found Gwen kissing Lancelot and went on full rage, he never draw his sword at her and is actually when she put herself between Lancelot and his blade that he stops. The woman he loved betrayed him, made him look like a fool infront an entire council and probably the entire kingdom as well and yet he never once insulted her. The much he did, besides banish her of course, was shaking her by the arms in his anger but it's short lived and he quickly apologised after that, because even after what Gwen did to him he can't bare the though of hurting her.

Then there are the fics were Arthur reacts too nicely to the news. He is understanding, he doesn't even get mad at all. He is fine with Merlin being a sorcerer right away. While these fics tend to be cute and all fluff, they make less sense to me that the first ones I mentioned. Arthur still was raised to hate magic, that doesn't go away just in a minute. Also while he can be a very reasonable man, he is a very resentful one too, at least when it comes to trust. We've seen this through the series, nothing breaks his heart more than someone he cares for betraying his trust. Returning to the previous example, while he let go Gwen unharmed after the infidelity, it took him a long time to actually forgive her. Also, while not being a violent man normally, Arthur can be very hurtful with words when he's upset. He threathened Merlin with banishment when he was still hurt about Gwen and Merlin kept reminding him about her. When Merlin decided not to go with him to the most important battle in his life, he said his famous "I always though you were the bravest man I ever met... I guess I was wrong". He didn't actually mean the words, but he's hurt so he hurts others to appease the pain. Was he being unfair and selfish when he said these things? Yes, he's not perfect, he has flaws but that makes him human.

So, how do I actually believe Arthur would react if he had found out about Merlin's magic before Canmlan? Not so different really. He would have said hurtful things, would demand to be alone, for Merlin to leave (not banishment), but he wouldn't fisically injure Merlin in any way. He also wouldn't arrest him at least there were other witnesses and he had to keep appearences, because he's still king of a kingdom that bans magic. But even then he would late let Merlin explain himself and make sure he has a fair trial, a trial Arthur would definitely arrange in a way Merlin is found innocent, or he would give him a royal pardon, and he would make sure Merlin is not harm while he's in the dungeons. Banishment would be a last resort if the council is firm about Merlin being punish, because laws and mentalities can't be changed in a day after all.

But if there're not other witnesses, Arthur would simply not require his servicies for a while, ignore him for some days, weeks maybe, but not a long time really. Again, he can be a resentful person, but not an unreasonable one, he would eventually call for Merlin and be willing to listen to him. The intesity of his anger and hurt, and how troubled he feels about his believes on magic, would depend on which season the magic reveal happens. But, generally, the actions he would take would be the same. Let's remember that even when he found out about Merlin's magic in Camnlan, after all the betrayals he suffered, when Merlin left him alone with Gaius, he ordered Gaius, not for Merlin to be arrested or to disclose to someone Merlin was a sorcerer, but to have Merlin take a word to Gwen! To his wife! If he really believed Merlin was evil, that he could hurt him, he wouldn't dare to do that. Also, as soon as he learned he needed Merlin to have a chance of survival, he accepted his help, reluctantly yes, but he did let him take him to the sidhe when he could easly refuse and demand Gaius to do it or refuse to do it all together cause going to the sidhe would mean using magic on himself and put faith in a sorcerer. So, no, I don't believe he ever planed on taking Merlin to the dungeons, much less kill him, even then. He just wanted to be left alone for a moment, he needed Merlin to leave because it hurt to see him after the revelation, after the betrayal.

Anyways, those are my thoughts. What do you think?

[not-rome]

Here are links to all my Merlin fics. I'll update it when I post more. If you're interested in seeing what else I've written, here's the link to my AO3.

MERCELOT

But It’s Not Real

Merlin knows this Lancelot isn't his, but he wants to ignore that truth.

G | 970 words | s04e09 | Angst

When I Die, Which I Must Do

You’re so stupid and brave and rash, and I love you. Gods, I love you so much, so please don’t die. I can live without Arthur, but I can’t live without you.

T | 1.1k words | s04e01-02 | Angst

A False God

Lancelot knows it's dangerous to love a god.

M | 221 words | Canon Compliant | Angst

Like Your Skin Protects Your Blood

Or, Merlin is the crowned prince of Ealdor and Lancelot is his knight.

M | 6.7k words | Royalty AU | Love Confessions

In These Private Moments

Merlin holds all his secret close to his heart. Lancelot loves him no matter how many secrets Merlin shares.

G | 762 words | Canon Era | Fluff

This Night Just Can't End

Or Merlin and Lancelot meet at the Halloween carnival at Aithusa's kindergarten.

G | 5.7k words | Modern Setting | Fluff

We've Been Waiting for That Sky

There's always been something special about spring.

G | 445 words | Canon Era | Fluff

Anywhere You Go, I'll Be

Or Lancelot and Merlin early in the morning.

T | 1.1k words | Canon Era | Nonbinary Merlin

GEN

It’s Enough for Me

Merlin comes to a realization after a talk with Gwen.

G | 1.6k words | Nonbinary Merlin | Canon Era

You Need to Be Yourself

Merlin comes out to Arthur. Arthur tries to understand.

G | 1.4k words | Nonbinary Merlin | Canon Era

All Because I Could Never Keep Quiet

It's the dreariest summer ever when Arthur meets a boy crying in the neighbor's backyard.

G | 1.7k words | Modern Setting | Childhood Friends

MERTHUR

Say You'll Always Keep Me

Arthur's life takes a turn after he's paired with Merlin in Divination.

T | 5.3k words | Harry Potter AU

Your Hand Touches Mine

Merlin believes hands wield the most power. He wants to hold Arthur's hands.

G | 1.3k words | Canon Era | Pre-Relationship

[ambriel-angstwitch]

You’re losing me is Merthur coded

You say, "I don't understand, " and I say, "I know you don't"

Arthur responds to finding out about Merlin’s magic with confusion and disbelief

We thought a cure would come through in time, now, I fear it won't

Merlin thought he could save Arthur from his fate but now he realizes he can’t

Remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time

Merlin and Arthur loved Camelot because of the life it held. Merlin loved it even more because of Arthur and the future it promised, but now Arthur’s gone and he didn’t get what he wanted.

Do I throw out everything we built or keep it?

When things get hard Merlin might wonder if all this was worth it

I'm getting tired even for a phoenix Always risin' from the ashes Mendin' all her gashes

Merlin is a a resilient person enemies keep beating him down but he just keeps going. He’d destroy himself and he’d destroy other people and things just to keep Arthur safe.

You might just have dealt the final blow

Merlin loves Arthur more than anything but he knows that Arthur might kill him if he learned about his magic and he knows he’d let him (at least if he knew Arthur would be ok afterwards)

Stop, you're losin' me… I can’t find a pulse My heart won't start anymore For you 'Cause you're losin' me

As Arthur put all of his focus on Gwen and then on the anger that came from losing her. He started to lose Merlin, Merlin would never leave but he didn’t have as much energy, his smile faded, he didn’t joke as much anymore.

Every mornin', I glared at you with storms in my eyes How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'? I sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick. My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick

Arthur said he loved Merlin but yet he chose Gwen that slowly drained Merlin. The one Merlin loved so deeply couldn’t give the same love back.

And the air is thick with loss and indecision

When Arthur finds out about Merlin’s magic their relationship will never be the same again. No matter if it turned out ok or horribly it still could never be the same. Arthur doesn’t know what to do with this information, he knows what someone having magic should mean but it’s Merlin.

I know my pain is such an imposition

Merlin is an imposition of the law just by being himself, but his pain is something of a burden because he wants something he can’t have not only is he a servant but he’s a man. Arthur and him could never be accepted.

Now, you're runnin' down the hallway And you know what they all say You don't know what you got until it's gone

Merlin couldn’t imagine how much it would hurt to see Arthur marry someone else until it happened and he didn’t even confront the possibility of losing him until it happened and he had to deal with the pain

How long could we be a sad song 'Til we were too far gone to bring back to life?

Arthur and Merlin were a tragic story and that started even before Arthur died but when he died that cemented the end. They could have been something greater if Arthur had known sooner but it’s too late now.

I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy

Merlin gave Arthur his everything. He stayed even when Arthur lashed out at him. He wasn’t mad at Arthur for hating what made Merlin because he understood that was how he was made.

And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier

But in the end all Merlin got was pain.

Fighting in only your army

Merlin only ever used his magic for Arthur

Frontlines, don't you ignore me

He stood by Arthur’s side against all odds, the dragon, Morgana, the Vikings, you name it. No matter the odds he was there, that was something Arthur saw and respected.

I'm the best thing at this party

Ok a little break from the angst. Do you ever think of that scene during a feast where it’s Merthur having intense eye contact like they’re the only thing that matters? Because that’s the only Merthur connection I could think of here

And I wouldn't marry me either

Merlin realizes why Arthur chose Gwen.

A pathological people pleaser Who only wanted you to see her

Merlin despite being argumentative and sometimes annoying still just wants to make Arthur happy.

And I'm fadin', thinkin' "Do something, babe, say something” "Lose something, babe, risk something" "Choose something, babe, I got nothing To believe Unless you're choosin' me"

Back to how I started this Merlin doesn’t like that Arthur responded to learning his secret with silence. He wants an answer, he needs to know what Arthur thinks and feels. Nothing is worse than the outright hatred. The unknown is far worse than knowing it could have been better.