#do you know what i fcuking hate.....clowns

[yesokayiknow]

firstly, 18 + 21 and dinahsiren, secondly, good fucking luck and you're welcome

18 Circus AU + 21 Dystopian AU 

(i hate you)

so. the world is a dangerous place. the immortal council of four rules over all with an iron fist: damian darkh and his fanatical ghosts; eobard thawne’s ever watching technology; ricardo diaz and his invisible web of informants; and mallus and his insidious magic.

years later, laurel lance is in court, fighting for a client that she already knows will be found guilty by the rigged system. she’s reading her closing statement when her arm starts to burn.

laurel, like everyone else, has grown up on the stories of the canaries: four women who are one day prophesised to overthrow the council, and, like everyone else, assumed the stories were just fairytales.

the still smarting canary mark burned into her arm looks pretty real though.

so she runs. jumps on and off trains until she finds sara, who collapses into her in relief at the sight of laurel’s arm. she reaches up and unwinds her scarf to reveal the still warm canary mark on the back of her neck.

the legend tells of four canaries for each of the four leaders, so they search for their other members. along the way, they pick up other stragglers and run into the rebel gangs: the hackers throwing digital roadblocks in thawne’s tracks; the vigilantes picking off darkh’s ghosts; the journalists outing diaz’ informants; the magicians countering mallus’ curses.

it takes them nearly a year before they stumble onto the third canary: a woman who tries to pick sara’s pocket, and who happens to have laurel’s face. the lances never told laurel she had a twin, or why they’d hidden that twin away with an old friend of the family. she knew about them though, and that the legends were true, and she shows them the canary on her ankle with slightly manic glee.

her first name is also dinah; they call her siren.

it’s one of the magicians who figures it out: not only did each of the three canaries’ marks appear at the same time, it happened when they were all at the corner of a square centering on the council’s main base. all they have to do is find who was at the other corner on that day.

unfortunately, there was a whole lot of people there at that time: the circus was in town.

sara, as the better interregator (in that she’s more intimidating than laurel but less impulsive than siren) goes out to track down every person who was in the audience, while laurel and siren investigate the circus itself. by going undercover. as performers

siren, looking at her costume: i mean is this dystopian nightmare really that bad

laurel, already pulling up her fishnets: yes

siren: okay but like. is it though

they’re acrobats. they’re not amazing, but their identicallness provides them with enough of a gimick that the ringmaster decides to give them a trial period. he shows them around the tent and introduces them to the other performers.

ringmaster: oh and this is dinah! she’s our knifethrower

dinah, idly flicking a knife in the air and catching it: and you are

siren: gay

siren asks one of the hackers to check for a familial link (because how many dinahs can there be) but there’s nothing. dinah drake is an ex-cop who quit her job and joined the circus after being kidnapped, and who just happens to have the same first name as the twins. siren seems very pleased about this. laurel tries not to think about why.

so, they continue to investigate the circus members while occasionally performing and exchanging updates with sara. meanwhile, siren and dinah get close, or as close as two emotionally repressed stubborn assholes can get. which uh. turns out to be pretty close.

siren: so it’s gotta be dinah right like her name is literally dinah

laurel: i’m pretty sure we need more than that

siren: also there’s a canary mark on her thigh

laurel: why didn’t you lead with- ....wait. how did you see her thigh??

siren: ok so let’s go back to the canary thing

[finding-the-daylight]

Today has been a very stressful day, so guess wtf time it is? Drunk Breaking Dawn Pt. 1. Here is what I soberly remember of the movie (I have not watched it since BD2 came out): 

1. There’s a wedding.

2. There’s a honeymoon.

3. There’s swimming in the ocean.

4. There’s an accidental pregnancy.

5. The baby almost kills Bella.

6. The canon incident that we all hate happens.

7. The Volturi evilly laugh. 

Same as Eclipse, my drunken narration of the movie will be below the break.

A brief intro statement, I was 100% sober and just beginning to drink at the beginning of the Eclipse post and progressively got more drunk. For BD1, I’m throwing back before I even start watching this shit show.

- I love the effects of the intro. it’s very calming. THe putting away childish things quote is literally a Bible verse. I hate that Stpehen appropriated Quileute culture, Christian culture, and every culture. I know she’s mormon but sitll. THis shit feels real appropriated.

- Idk why rennee is all happy. she never gave a shit before.

- OMG ALICE TEHCING BELLA TO WALK IN HEELS IS THE CUTEST ICRY.

- carlisle carryign the bench is literally the hottest hting i’ve ever seen fck

- lowkey kinda creeprd out because she’s literally sacrificing her humanity to marry this deud she’s known for like a year but everyone other than jacob is super supportive

- damn she’s looking @ this dreamcatcher and it’s making me sad but tbh that shit probably caused half her nightmares because she’s not native so sleep paralysis (if you know you know).

- DAMN EDWAD RELALY JUST ADMITTED HE’S BEEN A VIRGING FOR OVER 100 YEARS WHAT AB RAVE MAN WE STAN

- BUT FOR REAL WHY IS NO ONE FREAKING TF OUT THAT SHE’S LITERALLY BEGGING TO DIE FOR THIUS DUE?

- he just todl her hes killed people and explained it and it didn’t work she’s still down to clown with this vapire emo boi

- HOW HE’S SMILTING @ HR WTF I AM SO ALONEEEE

- i just wama ne im loved amd ne loved in retun plz

- this dream sequence is awful also fck the volturi is til hate that they never overthrew that crabbyass monarchy bullshit they were powerful enough

- i just wanna be like rosalie when i greow up

- charlie knew shit was off when he saw those crapsk 

- why the HELL is renen actin liks she cares? bitch go the fuck back home

- jessica is the only one with any damn common sense in this whole series talking about they’re too fucking young for this shitt bitch true and itm akes sene now why she was the valedictioajrn 

- SLEEPING AT LAST IS THT GROUP IDK IF YALL HAVE HEARD ANY OF HTEIR OTHER STUFF BUT THEY’RE AMAIZNG AND I USED TO CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP # THAT SHIT

- damn id’ be fuckign panicking too your lfie is over hoe 

- stpeheen sto pwiht your racist ass smiling its offensive

- CHARLIE FUCKING DEWEVRE BETTER SOMEONE LOVE HIM PLEASR

- this wedding is gorgoeus though i live for hte fuckj g aestiec 

- OH MY GORD THE PROM SONGGGGGGGG  FCK ME RIGHT IN THE EMO 

- IT JUST HIT ME WHN THEY WRE LOOKI  @ EACH OTHERS EYES THIS BTCH REALLY MARYING AN UNDRSF VAMPIRE HOE this shit is horryighn why was i not scare?

- carlisle is the love of y life

- sth is a lil ray of sunishen 

- i just reaized howd fucked it is that sue and chalrie are starng to catch feelz ut sue knows his daughter is funckugn off with a unded vamp emo iboi

- OMG I FCUKING HATE STEPHENE RACIST ASS I LEGIT MADE AP OST EARLIER SYAING LAURENT WANTED TO DO THE RIGHT THING ANDWOUVLEBE BEND A VEGETATIAN BITCH AND IRENEA CONFIRMED FCK THIS SHIT IM OUT ANG ANGRY

- charlie is gget ing drunk as hell my spiritn animel

- jesica is smart and beautiful she needs t os stop being jealous and petty know ya wotht girlie you got itl

- I SWEAR WHEN IGET MARRIED OSMEDAY IF ANYONE GIVES A SPEECH LIKE THIS I WILL PERSONALLY DRAGT HER ASS OUT.

- edwar lves her so much fck im all alone\

- how haoph hacob is when they hig i hate canonn they were best friends fc,

- jacob stay the fck outta her sex life she;s been wanting this for ad dman year fkc steohe let them jsut befriend

- steh is so swert but e is a chidl fck the is reacist plot bulshit

- CHARLIE DESEVRD BETTR FCK THIS PLOT FOR REAL I HAE CANON

- bela looks os ad she knows it’s goodbye but edward’s family is all smiling because they have her now hwat fthe ckc

- jac0bs cryng my heart brke

- i love bineg dunk 

- the scene isn rio is my faorite isn any of the movies eveyrhting looks warm and happy

- this bich can drive ab oat too damn he can just fod evryhin cant he

- CARLISLE BOUGHT A WHOEL DAMN ISALND FOR HIS WIFE AND I CANT ECVE GET A TEXT BACK? 

- deis this honeymon scene make anuone else unconmfy becuae same

- marying a vampire would be horrying af but also hot af and good af becuase htye oculd love so much and protect you from everythign fck 1-/10 woukd efeel safe

- bwll gaving a panic attakc ism e anyt tinme i try talking to an attractive man

- slepeign at last fckign ti up agin bit ch theis m yshit 

- when he said it was the best night i cred 

- tstoehe added the chess game like this shit is a hoje but i would love to play chess on my honemodn idk how uut  i want a man to each me but not mansplin

- WHY THE FUCJ AR THEY SO CTE ON THIS AMN HONEYMOON?

- i know i sadn it was horryig but i want a hotass vamp emo boi husband plas 

- damn jacob is being too emo she aint really gonan be ded for ever youll see her agianb itch

- ‘CULLENS ARE NOT A DNAGER TO THE TOWN OR TRUBE” BITCH IB EG TO FUCKIN DIFFER THIS SHIT BIOLOGICAL WARDARE RACIST ASS STPEHEN WRITING THIS FUCKING BULLTSIT

- ‘NONE OF THEM BELONG TO THEMSEVLES ANYGMROE” - SOMEONE SAID IT BITCH THSI SHIT IS FUCKRE IP

- i fucking hates these vamp racist bitches but i want a nonracist va,p husband bitch thus hot afck

- how tf does she not know shes rpegr yet eatin this weid ass shit?

- THESE FKERS BEEN AROUND FOR CENTURIES TLAKING BOU IDK IF ITS VEEN POSSIBEL BTICH YU SHOULD FUCKUGN KNO BY NOW

- ROVERT SPOEAKIN G PORTGUEVE IS SO KING ATRACTIV

- poor bella her life chaned so uqick and she[s soc scared fck dcnaon

- POOR CHARLIE I HATE THIS HE DESERVES TO BE LOVED AND TURTH TOLD

- ROSALEI IS THE EST 

- “YOU LOOK TERRBLE’ THIS IS THE FRIENDHSOP WE WANT WHYT THE FCK DOES FOPSTHE RUIN EALL THIS SHIT

- CARLISE IS FUNCIGJ HOT

- LIRALY BITCH I JUST WNAT A PURE FIRENDHSIP WUTH JACOB AND BELLA ITS WHAT THEY DESERVE FJC CAON

 - this montage is turopy a f when youre drunk waht the helc por jake thugh

- im sorry but i;n laughign my ass off at these fuckugn wolf vocie overs lmaoooo this shit hilarious

- SETH HAS SUCH A PURE HEART WHTY TF DID SPTEHEH RUIB HUS FUCJING CHILDHOOD BULTHIST

- WHY IS EVEYRIJE BSUCG AFUCKUGN BUTCG TO LEAH???? SHE DESEVRED THE FUCKING WORLD STPEHEN IS A RACISHT BITCHHHHHH

- calisbe is fos unicngn hot

- i just reaized robert is like the best fuckugn actor like this diolaguge is wha k as fuck btu he’s acitng all emo boi oscar worhty shti

- they realy had her fuckin drink blodo i hate cannjnonnn

- ifelel the same as kaje watchign this 

- but carlisle’s prety face made it all fuckig hetter

- FUCKRT HIS SHTI CHARLIE DESERVED BETTER HE’S THE BEST DAD FCK CANO NFUCK STEPRHNE 

- okay ut id is cute as fkc whe nedward hears the baby 

- esme and calrisle wilougn to risk their lives for bella i cryi

- fkc i really do hate cnaon because jake is acting liek an adult now and trying to do the honrble thig bue he should be a hpaoy chidl 

-  resnemsien is a ficking ridjcils name and we all fuckj nnew

- i ahte this part i’n bot even wathcing this shit rgros me rout 

- WHY THDID FUCK DID THIS BITCH HAVE A FUKCUNG SYRINGE OG VENOM LAYING AORUND? HOE!?!?!

- literlaiy fuick the dynamics of this whole moty hfknfucjg storyline plot bitch

- LEAH AND STHE DESERVERD BETTER

- SO DID JACOB

- SO DID ALL THE WOLFPAKC STPEHEN IS A RACIST AS SHOE

- aw hell here the fucks we hgo with theu ickgn im************** bulshit i ghate cnaojn canon can suck ad ick

- YES BILLY DEFEND YOUR CHIDL 

- rosalie is literally perfect when cnai b ehr 

- im real glad im drunk rin now because ioculd nto sit throguh this shit sober

- imp&******* is the worst plotline fkc]

- bit iamgiben falling alseo lookin gsick and waking up fhot as uck goals

- this sogn making me cry literlalu imcruing ims o alone lmao

- rheye really ended htoe move wirh red eyws lmaoooo

- hodl the fick up a damn minute stpeehebn producre htis cufkcng shit?

- now heres the hoes iv’ve been waiting on burnt the monarch fuckwits i hate thes epompis fuckers

- OVERTURBR THESE FUCKSERS THEY HAVE TIOO MUCH POWR 

CARLISR COULD FUCKING D OI T I HATE CNAON BRING THE VAMPIRE DECONOARCY

- OOHG BRUNNO MARS BRINGNG THE FUCKING SIMPSSHOES ANTHM I NEEDLOVE IT

[iknwnofillers]

When I was a little kid an adult told me that people love to bring down themselves just to be picked up by others and that said situation was annoying and frustrating and you would end up without friends. I don't talk shit about myself because I want people comforting me, I genuinely talk trash about me cause I believe that's what I am. It's so easy to highlight Lozza's qualities, for example, I can don that for people wholeheartedly, but not for me nor I want others doing it.

i dont think you caught my wind when i said “clown yourself before other clown you”. i should have been clearer so thats on me. we clown ourselves when we are in the company of friends and people who care for us. if you start projecting your self esteem issues or just being negative on random ass people you meet then you start having problems. if you genuinely believe your trash then no matter what you do you never ever will get out of that slump. i clown myself because im a clown who makes people laugh and feel good. i do that so in confidence and not with regrets. i do so because i know that the people im making laugh are laughin with me and not at me.

self esteem is lot like recording and hearing you own voice for the first time. it feels like shit but its the same voice you mom loves, its the same voice your dog runs towards to, its the same voice that tells funny jokes and compliments people. but the thing about voices is that its not something that can be seen. it cant be seen on a mirror. so youll jsut have to get used to it. used to the thought that people love you for who you are and just having the heart to make another persons day better without you wanting anything from it makes you the best fcuking person here. 

idk man.i had something to say here but this just turned out to be like an advice of sorts and i hate giving advices. look ill say that ive always lived with a policy  that is “everyones a friend until proven otherwise” and that thing  has never failed  me  and always given me strength to be like 8 billion people out there who loves me who gives a fcuk if you dont you stupid piece of shit youre missing out fcuk you.  right?? so i cant like equate what you feel because ive always felt loved in some form or another so i dont thin ill ever understand what youve gone thru to not what people fawning over you. but as i said before, there will be people who love you no matter what and they exist and as long as they exist you cant escape their warmth and love and thats that. even if you think youre the fcuking void theres going to be some fcuker whose gonna be holding a light and go this bitch dark in here. im just saying theres always light you dumbass and you cant escape love no matter how hard you try and and be like “ehh i dont want that” alright? people love you. someone will always be doing that. thats it. thats all