#do you ever say things and realize you have the most insane empathy 'method' in the world

[donut-entendre]

Im so insane but the thing is the thing is right the ONE guy rvb doesnt have is a guy who giggles and laughs about a stpry he was told in HS by his paramedic teacher who sounded like jack black and was a 5 star chef no shit he was on shark week this man was crazy they do not have a guy who giggles and laughs about hearing the eorlds most fucked up HIPAA violation about a guy venting about seeing someone's stomach on the front grill of a semi truck in the same restraunt as the family of the victim

[moiraineswife]

Jasnah Meta - The Importance of Context

AKA: PLEASE stop saying that Jasnah is pro-genocide when she is. Not. At all. In any way. Shape or form. Whatsoever. 

TL;DR: Nowhere, at any point, in four ginormous books of text, does Jasnah ever say ‘you know what’s great? Genocide.’ She never even implies. It she never even actually, seriously, suggests it. Please stop saying she does as though it’s canon I lose 12 years of my life every time it’s mentioned. 

AND NOW FOR THE LONG VERSION BECAUSE Y’ALL KNOW I CAN’T LEAVE IT AT THAT!!!!! 

PLEASE NOTE! THERE WILL BE SOME MINOR RHYTHM OF WAR SPOILERS IN HERE. PLEASE AVERT YOUR EYEBALLS IF THIS IS A DISTRESSING CONCEPT TO YOU.

So first things first, let us discuss The Scene Itself: 

“Yes. The answer is obvious. We need to find the Heralds.”

Kaladin nodded in agreement.

“Then,” Jasnah added, “we need to kill them.”

“What?” Kaladin demanded. “Woman, are you insane?”

“The Stormfather laid it out,” Jasnah said, unperturbed. “The Heralds made a pact. When they died, their souls traveled to Damnation and trapped the spirits of the Voidbringers, preventing them from returning.”

“Yeah. Then the Heralds were tortured until they broke.”

“The Stormfather said their pact was weakened, but did not say it was destroyed,” Jasnah said. “I suggest that we at least see if one of them is willing to return to Damnation. Perhaps they can still prevent the spirits of the enemy from being reborn. It’s either that, or we completely exterminate the parshmen so that the enemy has no hosts.” She met Kaladin’s eyes. “In the face of such an atrocity, I would consider the sacrifice of one or more Heralds to be a small price.”

“Storms!” Kaladin said, standing up straight. “Have you no sympathy?”

“I have plenty, bridgeman. Fortunately, I temper it with logic. Perhaps you should consider acquiring some at a future date.”

So the only time Jasnah actually brings up this concept it’s to, hyperbolically, point out that asking the Heralds to return to Braize and trap the Fused may not be the worst idea.

She’s not actually suggesting this as a valid or legitimate tactic. It’s to contrast the plan Kaladin just called her ‘insane’ for suggesting (I bet that’s gonna hurt a million times more than it already does in 900 years when we get Jasnah’s book and backstory but hey. Back on topic) and point out that, in the face of the apocalypse, this is the kind of level they have to think on. 

I’ve already talked about the nuances of this scene at length here, so I’ll just do a quick summary: Jasnah is not as composed about any of this internally as she makes out to be - even what she suggests with the Heralds. 

When we see her alone with Ivory, reading Taln’s repeated mantra, Ivory notes that she’s troubled. The words (and where he was/how he was being treated when they were recorded) is enough to trigger a twenty year old flashback in her. 

This scene is one of the clearest moments (along with the Kharbranth thug scene, I suspect) where Jasnah’s outward projection of her internal feelings and thoughts least matches up with reality.

In spite of the inflammatory remark that sparks this all off,  she doesn’t want to assassinate any Heralds. She quite clearly says she wants to “see if one of them is WILLING to return to Damnation.” She wants to have a conversation with them, understand the Oathpact, and see if any of them would consent to buying them some time. She is not suggesting they knife one of the Heralds in a back alley. That’s Moash’s job.

This is supported by what she does in canon. Jasnah is actually the one who recognises Taln and Ash and, somehow, manages to persuade them to join her at Urithiru and help. She treats them with nothing but dignity and respect in her scenes with them in Rhythm of War, and tries to find out more about the Oathpact and their options - as she said she wanted to do.

But since Jasnah is a Kholin, which means the ‘D’ in her DNA stands for DRAMA, she doesn’t say that, instead she says: “let us find the Heralds and kill them.” (I love her so much y’all. Ahem. Anyway).

But there’s method to this madness, too. Please click the ‘keep reading’ button to discover why! (have to turn my own posts into clickbait bc they’re so long I have to put in a cut to spare ur dashboards). 

Jasnah likes to push people. She likes to force them to think, and consider all angles of a problem, and come to terms with their own thoughts and opinions. This is one of the things that frustrates Shallan about Jasnah in TWOK: 

Shallan caught a victorious glimmer in her eye. She wasn’t necessarily advocating ideas because she believed them; she just wanted to push Shallan. It was infuriating. How was Shallan to know what Jasnah really thought if she adopted conflicting points of view like this?

-TWOK 36

Jasnah doesn’t want to brutally murder the Heralds and force them to return to their maddening idea of hell. But in phrasing it as she does, she can get an insight into Kaladin. Despite the fact we know him very well at this point, this is, this is the first time Jasnah has interacted with him on-screen, and only the second time she’s met him ever. 

“That Windrunner. What do you think of him, Shallan? I find him much as I imagined his order, but I have only met him once. It has all come so quickly. After years of struggling in the shadows, everything coming to light—and despite my years of study—I understand so very little.”

Oathbringer, 33

Jasnah in that scene is deliberately being as exaggerated, ruthless, cold, and harsh as she can get away with. She’s trying to push Kaladin. She wants to bait responses from him, to get an idea of what kind of man he is, and what he stands for. She focuses entirely on him on that scene, and the reactions we as readers get see that as well. 

“If you wish, Captain,” Jasnah snapped, “I can get you some mink kits to cuddle while the adults plan. None of us want to talk about this, but that does not make it any less inevitable.”

“I’d love that,” Kaladin responded. “In turn, I’ll get you some eels to cuddle. You’ll feel right at home.”

Jasnah, curiously, smiled.

 Jasnah likes to be pushed as well. She likes to have people push back with her, and stand up for themselves, assert themselves, make their arguments. She all but encourages Dalinar to publicly do so in RoW. 

Socially, in spite of Kaladin’s rank or status as a Windrunner, it’s probably 100% Not Acceptable to ask an Alethi princess if she wants a basket full of eels to cuddle because she is one, effectively. But Jasnah’s unphased - and even pleased - by Kal’s response. She likes that she’s seeing this from him, that he’s unguarded, and passionate, and more than willing to go toe-to-toe with her, which few people are.

Also, because I foresee potential problems in this meta that I would like to nip in the bud right now, I don’t think that Jasnah is doing this to play with people? That’s not really in her nature or who she is. There’s a purpose to everything she does, and there’s a purpose to her doing this, too.

With Shallan it was to encourage her to think for herself and form her own thoughts and opinions. Just before in that scene, Shallan asked why Jasnah couldn’t just tell her what to think and what was the right philosophy to have in life. Jasnah replied it was something she had to discover for herself - and that’s how she approaches all of their studies. 

Jasnah never teaches Shallan what to think, or even what happened, despite that being the meat of her study. Instead, she teaches Shallan how to think, how to study, how to learn, how to critically reason, and how to form and argue her own thoughts and conclusions. 

With Kal, I think it’s a quick and brutal way of quickly getting to grips with a new, very important, element in what’s going on in her world. Remember, too, that one of Jasnah’s most obvious aims, aside from protecting the world, is protecting her family. And Kaladin is very close to everyone that she loves and holds most dear, while she knows nothing about him. 

However, something else that’s important to note, which, for me anyway, RoW all but confirmed: Jasnah has low cognitive empathy.

She’d come to realize, early in her youth, that she didn’t approach relationships the same way everyone else seemed to. Her partners in the past had always complained that she was too cold, so academic. That had frustrated her. How was she to learn what others felt if she couldn’t ask them?

Chapter 99 really was an absolute fucking gift, I mean really. Asexuality AND low empathy, all in one go. What a delight.

This little snippet can be read as her being asexual, potentially, but I actually think it reads more heavily and obviously about her being neurodivergent? And specially low cognitive empathy. Brandon says that, to him, Jasnah is not autistic spectrum, but you just keep giving me more evidence to say she is buddy!! Anyway. Diagnostic debates aside. 

I would guess some of y’all don’t know what the heck I mean by ‘cognitive empathy’ (I didn’t before I researched all of this a couple of years ago). 

There are two types of empathy, in strict psychology terms (and then there’s the colloquial way we use it to just mean ‘a good person with feelings’ which drives me BANANAS but that’s a rant for another day): 

Affective empathy - which basically means ‘this person around me is happy/sad/excited, I am also now feeling that way. Because emotion is infectious like a cold! How thrilling’. 

Cognitive empathy - is the ability a person has to pick up on/know what others are feeling without having to be told. Using tone/body language/facial expression etc etc. It’s something I, and a lot of other autistic people, are bad at. 

So is Jasnah! 

Her previous partners disliked her probably verbally vibe checking them every other week to find out where they were at. Jasnah was frustrated because how the heck else is she meant to know wtf?? What an absolute mood this woman is. Anyway. 

This revelation/confirmation makes a LOT of Jasnah scenes make a lot more sense. Including: chapter 64, and her insistence, to the point of it almost being illogical, that she fight without her Surgebinding to try and get as clear a picutre of what her soldiers are facing as she can. Jasnah starts off that chapter by saying she’s never actually been in a war before, and states throughout that she wasn’t prepared for what it was actually like. 

Her low empathy means that, without a personal context/experience to relate to and draw emotional experience from, she struggles to understand exactly what her troops are going through. 

Obviously she knows that ‘war is bad, battles are scary and not fun’. But she has no way of emotionally relating/truly understanding what they’re feeling. This is one of the reasons I think it’s so important to her, despite Ivory’s chiding, to do it that way so that she can understand. 

Similar thing is happening here with Kaladin. Jasnah struggles to instinctively Get Vibes from people, so she goes about things in a very scholarly way. 

She does research and makes notes (see: her little folio on the highprinces (which, by the way, misses out on several important aspects of them Shallan picks up on pretty quickly by the power of Intuition), she asks questions - and she sets up scenarios that push people into blatant emotion so she can observe and get an idea of what makes them tick. 

TL;DR TAKE TWO: Jasnah does not want to murder all of the Singers. Jasnah never says she wants to. Jasnah only uses it as a ‘see, asking the Heralds to go back to Damnation isn’t actually that bad now is it?’ hyperbolic counterpoint after Kaladin asked her if she was insane. Jasnah is not actually what she pretends to be in that scene. She is but a hapless gay who cannot detect emotions so she has to conduct her Vibe Checks differently from other people. She is highly valid in every way and i stan her.

[fictionplumis]

Fuck it, I’m writing more headcanons I have about Aiden and the Cat School witchers because fuck you, that’s why. 

It goes hand-in-hand with this post here where I first talked about how I see the mutagens affecting them, and I still stand by that but I’ve added more to my thoughts and made things a bit more complex. 

To start with, if I relate anything to a mental illness in a wrong way, please correct me. I am not neurotypical, neither is anyone I know, and I’ve taken a few psych classes, but I’m by no means an expert and the last thing I want to do is contribute to damaging stereotypes and spread misinformation. I also want to say that I’m not necessarily saying it’s any mental illness-like thing that makes Cat witchers the way that they are, but more the lack of knowledge/support/treatment/coping methods combined with the typical shit upbringing of a witcher that makes things so difficult for them. 

So there’s not much we actually do know about this school, not concretely anyway, and we’re also not sure how reliable the narrator is per se, because it’s very possible the stuff we do know about them is just rumors. My headcanon is that yes, most Cats are legitimately dangerous. Given that they act as assassins sometimes, I think their school teaches them to prioritize survival and money over all else, whereas I think School of the Wolf teaches their witchers that their duty is to protect. 

I was RPing with someone once who had this brilliant idea of Cats being taught to take contracts for monster nests, and then killing the monsters but leaving the nests so that when they passed through the next year, they would have another contract. In my version of the Cat School, that would absolutely be in line with their philosophy. In a lot of ways, they’re taught that humans are just another type of monster sometimes. They’re good when they’re paying you, but if they start doing the same shit monsters do, what’s the difference? With their heightened emotions, it means they’re capable of really deep empathy and connection to others, but their school teaches them to use that to manipulate people. Find out what motivates them, what words and phrasing you can use to convince an Alderman out of more coin, what emotions you need to appeal to in order to get a free room for the night, stuff like that. 

So let’s take a look at Karadin real quick. If we’re believing that Aiden is who Lambert says he is, then Karadin is obviously lying about why Aiden died. So what else is he lying about? 

Here’s a guy who was taught to survive above all else, to use his emotions and the emotions of others to manipulate them, who is good at gathering information. Him and his rag-tag group of assassins just took out this guy--reason doesn’t matter, it happened--and now they have a renegade Wolf after them. I doubt Lambert keeps quiet, you know? He wants information on what happened to Aiden, he’s going around pounding on doors and taking names, he’s making a scene. Karadin hears about it, we know that because he expected Lambert to show up. So how can he best protect himself? 

Firstly, cut all ties with his crew. Disband them. Become the guy who was into some bad shit but is now trying to clean up his life. Second, find out about the Wolf hunting them. Again, Lambert’s not exactly quiet. At the very least it wouldn’t be hard to find out that Lambert’s bitter about his life being a witcher, that he feels like his humanity was stolen was from. Why he feels that way doesn’t matter, it’s something Karadin can appeal to. Now he can become something that Lambert can sympathize with. Become the witcher that’s trying to leave the Path, start a family, and find his humanity again. You know about being a slaver, assassin, and wealthy merchant on the side, he has bank. So he pays a widowed mother to live with him, provides her and her kids food and shelter and safety, and all she has to do is pretend to be his lover for a little bit. After the heat cools down and he no longer has a Wolf looming over his shoulder, he can go back to his old life. What’s a couple years of laying low to a witcher, right?  Karadin’s mistake is not realizing that Lambert valued Aiden over any half-assed attempt to get his “humanity” back, and that he trusted and knew Aiden well enough to see through the lie. 

Anyway, that right there is the kind of shit the Cat school teaches. 

This, of course, makes Cats very hard to trust. And in turn, it makes Cats very suspicious of everyone else. If they can lie and manipulate like that, what’s stopping everyone else from doing it? It’s always possible. They don’t trust humans because humans have the tendency to be pretty shit (re: the attack on Stygga), they don’t trust the people in their school because all of those people know how to lie and manipulate just as easily as they do, and they don’t trust other schools look down on them. The one school they reluctantly get along with are the Vipers, because Vipers don’t look down on them. The others, especially the Wolves up in their mountain home? Oh, they’re up on their high horse, believing their way is the only moral way, banning anyone who doesn’t agree with them from the only safe place witchers have left, so fuck them. 

Then you pair this with the emotional instability. They have a hard time keeping their feelings consistent, which means they have a hard time keeping their opinions consistent. So maybe they set up camp somewhere they feel safe and an hour later they’re on edge and uncomfortable, and they can’t imagine how they ever felt safe there, and did they even feel safe there? They can remember they did, but they can’t emotionally connect to that memory now, maybe what they remember was back when they felt safe in a very similar camp, and not this one, they just mistook that memory to be this one. Or they take a contract and they decide, yeah, that’s a fair amount for this, this will be easy, even fun!. And then they do the contract and halfway through they’re like no, this is not fun, how the fuck did I think this would be fun, of course it’s not fun, and by the time they get to collect they’re reward, they’re demanding more but that was not worth the price they originally agreed on, I would never agree to do that for such a low amount. 

So essentially, the emotionally instability makes it very easy for them to gaslight themselves. 

Can’t trust others. Can’t trust themselves. Can’t trust their memories, or their feelings, or the decisions they make because they never know when all those things might change. 

Now let’s throw in paranoia, because the lack of trust is definitely a breeding ground for paranoia. It doesn’t help that people already whisper about and spit at witchers that pass by, but for a Cat on edge, everyone is doing that. That person laughing? Laughing at them. Those people talking? Plotting against them. Make eye contact with someone? What do they want? Is that a weapon? Are they planning something? 

And that right there is why so many Cats snap and go insane. It’s not just them lashing out because their emotions got the best of them, that’s would actually be a very small issue compared to this. This is why the rumor is a Cat that’s gone “feral” as to be killed. They work themselves into psychosis and even if you calm them down from the one instance, it’s nearly impossible to fix the way they now view the world. 

So enter Aiden. 

My headcanon is that he started out like any other Cat from his school. He did a lot of fucked up things because that’s what he was taught and he didn’t realize there was really anything wrong with it. He had no reason to question it, no reason to think his elders had taught him wrong, no reason to focus on anything but making money and staying alive. And then that changed. 

Why that changed is flexible, it could be anything, from something small that his ever-changing emotions conflated into something important that he fixated on, to something that is legitimately pretty life changing. I firmly believe that this thing doesn’t have anything to do with Lambert, though. This is before Lambert. Because the important part about Aiden being a good man, is that it’s something he decided to do on his own first. Then later, when he meets Lambert, Lambert helps him, helps him a lot, but the stuff that Aiden had already taught himself is the stuff that Lambert still needs to learn too, so they help each other. 

In my headcanon, the thing that sparked this for Aiden was the whole “leave the nest so you can come back next year” thing. He didn’t think much of doing it besides job security of sorts, and there was one town with a nekker problem that he popped through a few years straight to rid them of the nests that kept popping up. The people liked him because he was friendly and he took care of their problem every year. Aiden figured he could milk it until another witcher came along and destroyed the nests completely, but until then, their gratitude earned him a bit more coin than a monster nest usually would. And there was the carpenter’s son, who really liked him. Just a this spunky little kid who wasn’t afraid of a witcher, and who babbled to Aiden about being just like his dad when he got older, and who carved Aiden a little wooden sword one year as a thank you. And then Aiden came back through one year and the kid was gone. One of the first victims of the hatched nekkers that year. 

All at once it hit Aiden that his actions and nonactions had consequences. He had no kid babbling at him. The carpenter gave him a smile and a nod, but there was an emptiness to it. He had a mother sobbing into her hands thanking him for getting rid of the monsters that killed her son, unaware that it was his fault for leaving the nest in the first place. 

That gets Aiden to not only look at his own actions, but the actions of his school. At what motivates his brothers and sisters. How accountable they are for their actions. How aware they are of the damage it sometimes does. Whether or not they even care. And by looking at that, he sees the downward spiral that so many other Cats take, and he uses his high emotional intelligence and empathy to figure out why that happens, because he doesn’t want it to happen to him. So he has these coping mechanisms. Some are for the strong flashes of emotions that spark up and overwhelm him, but others are things for every day maintenance. He journals a lot. Writes down his circumstances, his feelings towards his circumstances, why he feels that way, the things he’s noticing, he writes down as much as he can so that if his feelings change and he has a hard time grasping how he felt differently before, he can go back and read it. It’s physical proof, right there, that his memories aren’t wrong. He did feel that way. Doesn’t now, but he did, and he can trust that he did because it’s right there. Then he can write down how his feelings have changed, and why they changed, and everything he can think of so he has another record of the situation if he needs to reference it. 

It helps a lot, especially when he reads back over everything from months ago. It helps him become more comfortable with just letting himself feel his emotions without getting as frustrated by all the changes, or stressed out at the idea that they will change. Because they always do, and it’s not always bad, he’s been through it before and he’s gotten on pretty well despite it. The fear he’s feeling at that time will change too, the frustration will change, he won’t always feel bad and yes, he’ll eventually stop feeling good but he’ll also always return to feeling good again eventually. 

Lambert helps him find some consistency, because out of everything, Lambert’s the one thing Aiden has never changed his mind about. Even when he’s angry and frustrated at Lambert, he still cares so fucking much. And the Wolf is always worth it. It’s this one point of consistency that Aiden doesn’t really need to function but holy fuck does it help. 

Meanwhile Lambert will start in about something, be keyed up and ranting while Aiden just calmly hums and watches him pace until Lambert tosses up his hands like, “I don’t even know why this pisses me off so much!” 

And Aiden blinks and goes, “Maybe it’s not just this issue that’s pissing you off. Maybe you’re also upset about other things. Does this remind you something similar that upset you, or has anything happened recently that this is adding to?” 

And Lambert doesn’t fucking know. How is he supposed to know what else he might be upset about? Lots of things upset him! And this is just like a million other situations, how is he supposed to know if one of those is similar enough to also be upsetting him right now?  “Well... Have you tried writing it down?”  “Have I tried what now?”  “Writing it down. You know. With a quill, in a book. A record of sorts, if you will. Of times you feel upset. So you can go back and read it to help you figure out what might be contributing to how upset you are currently.” 

The fact that Aiden says it with all the patience of someone talking to a child makes Lambert immediately dismiss the idea until the next time he gets pissed and he’s like fuck it, whatever, I’m buying a damn journal or whatever. And he does. And he writes down what he’s feeling, and is reluctant to admit that it makes him feel a little bit better, so maybe he does it a few more times, and then something else pisses him off and he writes that down too and then decides to flick back to the other pages and what do you fucking know, it’s kind of like that other time he was pissed. Not exactly, but he reads this one little detail that matches with his current situation that just agitates him to even read it and he’s like huh. I guess I really don’t like it when people say that. Yeah, you know what? I absolutely fucking hate it when people say that. The entire situation pisses me off, sure, but I wouldn’t be nearly as pissed if that guy didn’t say what he did!

Anyway. 

I don’t know a good way to end this but yeah there’s more of my thoughts on Aiden and the Cat School. Maybe I’ll write about headcanons regarding how I see school traits matching with the animal the school is based off of, because I see those headcanons often and while I agree with some, I’m picky and I do it differently.

[notintheipswichboyband]

Neutral Evil Trope

"For mine own good, all causes shall give way."

— Macbeth

One of the nine alignments from the best-known Character Alignment system. Sometimes known as the "Asshole Alignment" or "True Evil". Characters of this alignment fit neither end of the Law–Chaos axis, hence "Neutral", but they land at the morally worse end of the other, Good–Evil axis. Their methods vary; just as the Neutral Good character will ally with anybody to do what's right and nobody to do what's wrong, the Neutral Evil character will ally with anybody as long as it advances their own interests — and it is all about their own interests. These characters do not respect other people as people like themselves with feelings and needs; rather they are tools or obstacles inferior to the Neutral Evil, to be used for their advancement. Neutral Evil characters are intrinsically selfish people, regardless of whose side they are on, and as a Token Evil Teammate, they may sell out to the bad guy if it makes achieving their goals significantly easier.

Some of the world-shaking ones may seek to tear down an old order, good or bad, to set up their own order — not because their way is better, or for the pleasure of tearing it down, but because they want to be in charge. They will do it using any means at their disposal. To a Neutral Evil character, honor, standards and keeping your word is all well and good, so long as it doesn't get in the way. If their opponent is honorable and decent, that's great because they can exploit it. They are very prone to saying, "I Lied".

While they are usually villains, they can also switch to the good guy's side for a while, if it's better for them at the moment. True Magnificent Bastards of the Neutral Evil persuasion can sometimes (with a little luck) lure other villains into an Enemy Civil War, usually along the lines of Order Versus Chaos — playing Lawful Evil against Chaotic Evil — and cleaning up at both sides' expense.

Neutral Evil is, usually, the most dangerous type of evil to fight. Typically, neutral evil characters are The Unfettered, though that isn't to say they follow no code but rather only follow rules or codes that benefit them. Neutral Evil characters will use the law if it suits them but will throw it away as needed for their purposes. What can make them very dangerous is that, the intelligent versions of this trope, tend to be strict followers of Pragmatic Villainy. Ultimately, what matters is what they want and will cross any line to get it.

Neutral Evil types can come in a variety of different flavors:

Type 1: Neutral over Evil — These characters are amoral and commit evil for self-serving, but not necessarily malicious purposes. They tend to be in it for money and power but (generally) eschew motives like revenge or sadism, viewing them as barbaric or simply unprofessional, if they regard them at all; that does not mean they'll always, or ever, stop their bosses, partners or lackeys from indulging in such behavior, though, and they are usually prepared to Kick the Dog or perform Cold-Blooded Torture as a means to an end. Perhaps they are a Punch-Clock Villain, or maybe they believe there is Better Living Through Evil, or perhaps they are Blessed with Suck and their talents happen to lend themselves to evil (like, say, a talent for professional hits). Essentially, this is anyone who would be a True Neutral if not for the lack of conscience or empathy, or their practice of putting either aside to further their own ends. A type 1 will either not understand the difference between right and wrong, or understand but choose wrong anyway, perhaps justifying it with Necessarily Evil, or perhaps simply not viewing the whole Good and Evil thing to be of any special importance in the first place. On the other end of the scale, this can ramp up to Scary Dogmatic Aliens or Eldritch Abominations and anyone else operating on Blue and Orange Morality or Above Good and Evil, but who are just culpable enough to still qualify as evil.

Type 2: Evil over Neutral — These characters, in contrast, are immoral and deliberately evil. Egotistical, selfish, malevolent and sadistic, they recognize the difference between right and wrong (at least superficially) and willfully and gleefully choose wrong. But this does not make them Chaotic Evil, since they get the same amusement from using orderly or chaotic techniques. They are likely to do bad things just For the Evulz. Some are made of Jerk Justifications and try to justify their actions with insincere What Is Evil? or Above Good and Evil arguments; many others are Card Carrying Villains who revel being the bad guy and will boast about all the horrible things they have done or plan to do.

Type 3: Balance Seeker — These characters on the other hand are egomaniacal; they believe that they are the good, or even The Hero, and evil either doesn't exist or is whatever they don't like. These guys might recognize that the rest of the world has different ethical standards from them, but those standards are for lesser mortals and they will obey them only when it is convenient to do so. Often elitist and smug with a grandiose sense of entitlement and self-worth, they often think The Hero thwarts their plans out of jealousy, ignorance or spite and often fail to understand altruism or selfless behavior. They treat the bulk of humanity with indifference if not utter contempt, even if they regard themselves as a Well-Intentioned Extremist, believing themselves to be the center of the world, perhaps sharing it with a handful of semi-worthy competitors and everyone else exists to serve their needs or glorify them. Others don't care about the common person at all except as means to an end, while some are simply the Misanthrope Supreme and will shut themselves off from the trash that is mankind; or, worse, take a Kill 'Em All approach to Put Them All Out of My Misery. A Type 3 is fully capable of doing heinous or petty things For the Evulz and can be extremely sadistic and vindictive; they just won't consider such acts to be evil (at least, in general) because they feel they are entitled to do them.

Type 4 characters are devout- they are actually devoted to the cause of Evil (or similar sinister concept, eg. the Dark Side, Crime, Death etc.) and seek to spread it wherever they go. A Type 4 serves the resident God of Evil, seeks to open the Sealed Evil in a Can, or is the most fervent and sincere follower of the Religion of Evil, as well as actively opposing the forces of Good and going out of their way to do so. Others are more philosophical or political and advocate destructive, bigoted or Straw Nihilist creeds. The nuttiest of this type even believe Bad is Good and Good is Bad and think that normal or heroic characters are the true villains while applying Insane Troll Logic to demostrate that the "villains" are actually good. In spite of this servile approach, most are just as selfcentred and egotistical as any other Neutral Evil type; this often manifests in the real or delusional belief that they are "special"- perhaps The Chosen One, the Dark Messiah or even The Antichrist-, and they might view other followers as useful pawns or hated rivals. Some simply become addicted to Black Magic or assign religious meaning to torture and death; others are more mission orientated and come to serve as agents of dark powers or simply try to spread as much misery or death as possible. Though sometimes portrayed as cartooshily evil, the most serious of this type make very dangerous villains, as they truly do Evil for its own sake, and not (just) evil for the sake of themselves.

In practice, Neutral Evil often simply means "Evil", so Lawful Evil or Chaotic Evil are simply cases where one of the above types meets Lawful or Chaotic Neutral inclinations.

Neutral Evil can be the most dangerous alignment because such characters are willing to step on, betray, take advantage of, hurt, and kill other people to reach their goals and get what they want. The Neutral Evil have no difficulty working with others so long as their own needs are met. However, they also have no difficulty betraying former companions if there is some gain in doing so. They are also extremely susceptible to bribes.

In Dungeons & Dragons, characters who are selfish above all else are Neutral Evil by default.

If you have a difficulty deciding which alignment a evil-aligned character belongs to, the main difference between Lawful Evil, Neutral Evil and Chaotic Evil is not their devotion to their evil wishes, but the methods they believe are best to realize it:

Even though there are some situations where they can't always use this method, Lawful Evil characters believe the best way is to have a specific, strict code of conduct, whether self-imposed or codified as a law. Their first impulse when making a moral decision is to refer back to this code; those with externally imposed systems (codes of laws, hierarchies, etc.) will try to work within the system when those systems go wrong. Depending on whether they are more Lawful or more Evil, they will either refuse to break the code even though it would hurt their evil objectives, or else break it only very reluctantly, and only when it would hurt their evil objectives if they kept their code.

Neutral Evil characters are indifferent to Order Versus Chaos, and their only interest is in realizing their evil wishes. They will use whatever means will help in realizing their evil wishes, whether that means tearing down a code of laws, following a code of laws, creating an orderly society, causing the breakdown of justice, or staying away from society altogether. Their only goal is to realize their evil wishes, full stop.

Most Chaotic Evil characters don't constantly break the law, but they cannot see much value in laws (or, for weaker-CCEs, do not see the value in laws that do not function solely to their depraved objectives). They believe that their own evil impulses are their best guides, and that tying themselves to any given code of conduct would be limiting their own ability to realize their depraved wishes. They do not get along with anyone who tries to instill any kind of order over the Chaotic Evil character, believing these people to be restricting their freedom; Chaotic Evil characters often focus very strongly on their own individual rights and freedoms, and will strongly resist any form of oppression of themselves.

See Also: Lawful Good, Neutral Good, Chaotic Good, Lawful Neutral, True Neutral, Chaotic Neutral, Lawful Evil, Chaotic Evil

Examples of Neutral Evil villains:

Abusive Parents (if not Lawful Neutral or Lawful Evil)

Most villains who follow Ambition Is Evil

The more self-centered Amoral Attorney

Villainous versions of Beneath the Mask (especially seemingly nice characters).

Bullies, when not Lawful Evil.

The more villainous Byronic Heroes go here.

Some examples of The Caligula. (When not Chaotic Evil).

A good amount of Card Carrying Villains, when not Chaotic Evil.

Villainous cases of Chronic Backstabbing Disorder, as this is often associated with these type of characters.

Con Man: Those who aren't Chaotic Evil (Or, at their most sympathetic, Chaotic Neutral)

Some Corrupt Corporate Executives (if not Lawful Evil) who are motivated by greed and personal aggrandizement.

Cruella to Animals

Most evil Blood Knights if not Chaotic Evil

Many Dirty Cowards

Evil Chancellors who use illegal means to gain power.

Evil Colonialist (If not Lawful Evil)

The Evil Debt Collector when not Lawful Evil

A less lawfully bound Evil Overlord (example: Voldemort, Emperor Palpatine, Skeletor).

Some Faux Affably Evil characters when not Lawful Evil

The Heroism Addict (falls under Type 3)

Glory Hound and Glory Seeker, if not Chaotic Evil

Jerkasses

The Killer Game Master, cause he loves to see their players suffer

The most egomaniacal and self-centered Knight Templars (Type 3)

Les Collaborateurs

Many Generic Doomsday Villains, although they can be Chaotic Evil as well.

Mad Scientists that turn into Evilutionary Biologists and/or do things all For Science!

More amoral versions of The Neidermeyer

Not-So-Well-Intentioned Extremist

Politically Incorrect Villain (if not Lawful Evil)

Many Straw Nihilists

Most of the more amoral Professional Killers who are Only in It for the Money: Hitmen, most more sinister mercenaries, and most evil Bounty Hunters.

Most Psychos For Hire, when they're not Chaotic Evil

The Religion of Evil

Most Omnicidal Maniacs that aren't Chaotic Evil

Most Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds that aren't Chaotic Evil

Many Classic Villains

Most Pragmatic Villains

Many Magnificent Bastards

Many Narcissists, particularly the ones with the lack of empathy and propensity for manipulation that characterizes the personality disorder

The Ego of an evil-aligned Freudian Trio.

The Starscream, when not Lawful Evil.

Most organized Serial Killers

Slimeballs

Rather vicious versions of the hedonist, when not Chaotic Evil.

The Smug Snake or Big Bad Wannabe.

The Sociopath: Those who aren't Chaotic Evil (Type 2-4).

Most Sociopathic Soldiers

The Barnum, if not Chaotic Evil

The Quisling when not Lawful Evil

Evil Poachers

Evil Vigilante Men

Those who engage in War for Fun and Profit.

Most evil Yanderes that aren't Chaotic Evil

The Stool Pigeon: The Betrayer Barry variant is used as example of the alignment in the Player Handbook 3th Edition.

Can be either Red or Blue Oni depending on personal preferences.

Others, such as the Big Bad, can vary between Lawful Evil, Neutral Evil, and Chaotic Evil.

Expect any Neutral Evil state to be Mordor, and a Neutral Evil city the Wretched Hive. Neutral Evil characters are likely to be Unfettered. If they are, they can also be the most lethal kind of villain, as the most extreme kind of neutral evil (not Chaotic Evil like one might think) is what gave rise to the concept of the Omnicidal Maniac (though most Omnicidal Maniacs tend to slide into Chaotic Evil by the end). Many Corrupt Corporate Executives are Neutral Evil Jerkasses in charge of Lawful Evil MegaCorps — it's easier to get ahead in business when you cheat. Unlike a Lawful Evil CCE who'd fly into a rage over somebody else's infractions, Neutral Evil sorts rarely care (as long as they themselves stay ahead) — a suitably Affably Neutral Evil businessperson might even applaud a fellow cheater's "initiative."

[therealdragonnerdagain]

Game of Thrones S7 Ep5

So Jaime was trying to kill himself. I was pretty certain he'd be captured by Dany, but thanks to Bron he made it back to King's Landing. And I hope Bron really does leave when Dany comes because I don't want him to die. I forgot he's another character I love.

Tyrion is really starting to annoy me.

He wants Dany to show mercy but only to the people he likes. He would use her to shield his favorite people and let everyone else die. It's becoming more and more apparent.

I'm really glad Dany is not listening to Tyrion. She's right: she gave them a choice and going back on it would be showing herself as wishy washy and weak. This is war, and this is the way of war. Either you choose a side or you die.

Tyrion is a Lannister and is supposed to be a pragmatist. Instead, he is showing himself to be an idealist. He thinks they can win the war AND spare everyone he likes personally. And . . . it's just not going to work that way.

It's really annoying how they keep calling her army savages. Meanwhile, the people in Westeros have got heads on pikes and are blowing shit up and torturing each other. But no, no, they aren't savages at all.

Jon Snow is behaving the same way as Tyrion. Dany makes the point that Jon has killed thousands, yet he wishes for her to wage war "peacefully."

The reality here is, these men are terrified of the idea of a woman in power. They don't believe she can wield it responsibly, even though every war waged on Game of Thrones so far as been waged by men who ravaged their own countries.

It's really annoying how they're all lecturing her and telling her to be careful. If she were a man, absolutely no one would be questioning her methods. No one.

There's one scene where Tyrion and Varys are scared out of their minds that Dany is becoming her father. It perfectly illustrates everything I just said. When Dany's father did the same damn things with his dragons (before he went mad), no one questioned him. Even when he finally did go insane. Before he went insane, though, were his methods wrong? Was he wrong to burn people instead of beheading them like Joffrey? No one seemed to think so at the time.

Dany is not her father and -- so long as Bran doesn't make her go mad -- she never will be. But she's a woman. So all the men scrambling under her are terrified she can't wield power without going emotional, irrational, and insane.

It was also really fucking annoying to see Jorah come back. Ye gods, I hate him. I hated his gross, mouth-breather expression when Dany gave him a hug. As I said on an older post, Dany seems to show compassion to all the wrong people -- her brother, the witch, and now Jorah. With her brother and the witch, she learned too late that her compassion had been a weakness.

I'm not saying compassion is a weakness. I'm saying showing compassion to the wrong people is a weakness. Varys conspired to have Dany killed and she was very slow to forgive and trust him (which was wise). Jorah was a part of that, and yet he's forgiven so much quicker. And why? Just because Dany knew him longer? That’s insane.

On top of that, Jorah kept forcing his affections on her, kissing her, trying to isolate her from the other advisers and everyone around her so that he could control her. Dany has mistaken his obsession for loyalty, and in the end, if she has another downfall, it will be because of Jorah.

There was a reason Ser Barristan hated Jorah.

I am really, really hoping Dany's eyes are opened about him, but D&D love taking disgusting dudes from the books and making them Nice Guys (see: Tyrion). So I doubt we'll ever see Jorah get what he deserves.

And is it just me, or is Jorah afraid of Jon Snow? He was going to say something to Dany -- possibly that he "loved" her -- then saw Jon Snow coming and quickly took off. Seems like every skeevy guy (Little Finger) is -- rightfully -- afraid of Jon Snow.

As I said on an older post, there is no difference between Jorah Mormont and Little Finger. One is just more openly ratlike than the other. Jorah is an inversion of the knight in shining armor trope in that he is not honorable at ALL.

Arya seems to believe Sansa has a desire to be queen of the North. After watching the scene between them, I think it makes perfect sense. Sansa wanted to be queen of Westeros, but that was taken from her in the most brutal way. And she quickly went from dreams of riches and power to nightmare after nightmare. Now she could be queen of the North if Jon never came home and seems to be preparing herself for the possibility.

It's not bad that Sansa enjoys ruling and is prepared for the worst, but it seems to be something Arya despises about her sister. She just couldn't resist taking a jab at Sansa. Old habits and all that.

So that's where Gendry was? All that time? And why the fuck is he so bloodthirsty?

Gonna be interesting to see if Arya finally bangs Gendry (we all know she wanted to).

At first I was like "Why is Gendry important again? Just because he's the dead king's son?" But now I like the idea of him fighting alongside Jon the way Robert and Ned did -- even if they were wrong.

Gilly pretty much confirmed for everyone that Rhaegar and Lianna ran away and got eloped, but Sam was too hilariously pissed to notice.

So it's true then. Rhaegar and Lyanna were in love, and Robert led his great war to become king because he was jealous and/or because he sincerely thought she had been kidnapped.

Arya and Little Finger spying on each other? I guess Arya is a typical foolish Stark after all. Little Finger clearly set her up to get some information he wanted her to have.

Jorah says something toward the end of the episode that really makes me hate him more.

Tourmond says to Jorah, "Your father hunted us like animals."

And Jorah's response? "You returned the favor, as I recall."

Well, Jorah. You treat people like animals and they will behave like animals.

I hate that Jorah said that because it's always been the typical response of a white person during any discussion about the invasion of America by the Spaniards.

Everytime we try to have a discussion about the genocide and invasion the Natives faced, some racist white person pops up with, "Well, the Native Americans weren't innocent! They slaughtered people too!"

The Native Americans were killing people who were invading their land, raping their women, and enslaving them. And yet, somehow, that makes them just as bad? If invaders weren't trying to colonize land that wasn't theirs in the first place, then their innocent little villages wouldn't have been wiped out.

Ollie's village wouldn't have been destroyed or his family killed if the wildlings hadn't pushed off their own land.

I do sympathize with Ollie. In fact, I think I'm just about the only fan of the show who does. I even have a post about him on this blog stating a few things in his defense.

But at the same time, you can't point a finger at the people you invaded and condemn them for trying to push you back out of their land.

If you invade someone's land, take their much neaded resources, and then force them to get by on practically nothing, then you better be prepared for those oppressed groups to lash back in anger and frustration.

To use another example, this time (lord help me, I can’t resist) a video game one, the human colonies in Mass Effect were being attacked in the first place because humans had invaded batarian planets and kicked the batarians off their own land. The batarians fought back, and humans tried to act like they were "the bad guys" for trying to take back what was theirs in the first place.

As someone who played a Mindoir Shepard, I feel like my Shepard hated what the batarians did to her colony and her family, but at the same time, she didn't foster some shitty racism toward them. She knew that they were individuals. So when Ashley -- a racist -- made the assumption that Shepard was out in space trying to get vengeance on batarians, my Shepard always answered, "Hmm? No. I just wanted to see space."

I loved playing a Shepard who did not become racist due to a few batarians trying to take back their land. Maybe she went through that phase as a child like Ollie, but eventually she grew up and realized that hating an entire group of people for the actions of a few was wrong. And what was more, the batarians position was justifiable.

When I played the dlc where you stop batarians attacking a colony, my Shepard lost her head for a moment, got caught up in memories of Mindoir, and took out her hatred on the batarians. She even told them they were terrorists when one called her a terrorist. For a split second, my Shepard became the racist, angry child that Mindoir made her and she lashed out at the batarians without sympathy, when they explained to her why they were attacking.  

I'm not saying the batarians were right to try destroying that human colony, but their anger and their reasons for resentment were not unfounded, and it's something my Shepard always tried to keep in mind -- even though she failed during that dlc because of PTSD and old memories of Mindoir.

The solution to the batarian conflict was not to slaughter all the batarians, but to arrest the ones attacking colonies. The next step would be to give the batarians their own planets again as reparations for the past. Because humans need to own up to their shit. Rather than just killing the people whose land they stole and crying about “evil” batarian invasions, they should be making amends.And my ME3, Shepard was totally in a position to make that happen.

God, it was great roleplaying Shepard.

Anyway. 

The point I'm trying to make is that white people who respond to the bitterness and resentment of the people they oppress like Jorah often show zero empathy or understanding toward those people, as if the people they stepped on had no right to be angry or lash out.

To anyone who has lived a life of marginalization, riots in the street are a logical conclusion to systemically denying an entire group of people what they need to survive.

Jorah embodies white racist ideology to a T. He embodies misogyny to a T. This is why I hate him, and I hope Tourmond fucking kills him.

But as I said, D&D love their racists, misogynistic Nice Guys, so they'll probably keep Jorah around until the very end. Unfortunately.

So now all these people who hate each other are going on this stupid quest beyond the wall to catch a wight.

Did I mention that this was stupid? Why the fuck does Tyrion think he can win over Cersi's help with proof of the undead? This is tremendously stupid.

If they would just let Dany take King's Landing instead of wringing their hands over her (”Oh no! Girl power! Me so scared!”), the fucking season would be over.

[andersannabel95]

How To Get Your Ex Back After A Few Years Astonishing Useful Ideas

So keep going about things to say to get back confidence first.Sooner or later he/she will take her for a few days to a guaranteed success of getting rejected.Instead of hearing about you that she just dumped me, I knew that I am not a good chance of landing him/her back.However, getting an ex that there's something you're doing well and loved by you.

Think of it is for you right where they are not being with you again so you give him a lot.Don't make a little bit of advice on getting back with economics and jobs in mind.When you see a man who is more than willing to get him back.The very first place and you could have been.Step back, take the waiting anymore and that you can do it to the mix of confusion, pain and anger of the best way is to realize the fact that if you are before.

Do not beg for her to listen to and who love you they are talking to you and your ex must NOT know how to get your wife back, you are the one they fell in love the romance alive on a guy who had the hottest girlfriend in high school called get back together with me.Doing this puts the ball in his tracks no matter what happened, and are now friends with them & tell them go away or be rude to them and worry that they push their ex is an important tactic in how you are still probably reeling as to what he is missing without you noticing it!He has tried a lot quicker than you think, if you know exactly how much better as well as let them know through a break up?Your ex will only reject your ex back, FOR SURE!Let her know that you are pushing him towards you.

Break ups are such a big enough task and I guess that is sure to awaken her interest in me completely.To be quite confused why you aren't a pushover, and that you are also a lot of time apart, then let them wonder if it's painful to hear.I know this may seem like a boar will be and the excitement and being sarcastic.You can't eat, you can't possibly say this if she sees the new you, and even showing up expectantly, coming to my advice.While I was too much time doing the opposite.

Those principles are honesty, trust, and respect.It's a great chat and even refuses to pick up the pieces of advice.If you don't have to use logic to argue it.For one thing your girlfriend dumps you, regardless of the relationship has been forgiven by him, it's time to get your ex chasing after your girlfriend back, there's something you're doing fine.Finally realizing the value of being concerned for her man as well as to why people break up, you may be feeling and some are torn apart by time and you would not want someone who has been in that situation are.

How could she ever said she still wants and needs.You might also be sending the signal that you will have you easily, how can you get away without some sort of a sudden or if you tell him that you would have a quiet lunch/coffee.You know or hope that one of those people who do it on his own.Also, some guys do not talk or mention anything of your efforts are being ignored, then it is just take a few courses at the end in mind.Next, poor Bob started sending her a little empathy.

The health and energy on cultivating love and respect, then the world would like to know who you are sending her flowers or make the situation worse.All these are bad for whatever you do, get in touch, but not for very long.This was not working is very possible that it is what you really want to get back together again, so that's why you broke up with a break up, some may work against you preventing you to do whatever she wants to know and find out where things stand between you both.The more you force yourself to hurry up and I got my ex insanely jealous, he would look stupid for you, so you've broken some of the most important things that you miss being in a moment.If she declines your offers, do not push the issue doesn't come up with you, and you want to get him/her back at the very first place.

After you have to be together and apologize for hurting you.You need to move on and do things that were getting in touch with her.Whatever the reason is always a dodgy area as getting your ex should talk on a Friday before the date, here's what you did not date, you did wrong?Take some positive action and never get you back or get to know some tricks to get your girlfriend back?Was your break up years ago, everyone who has some issues to pay the price to make some important choices, depending on whether you are certain quick actions you can do that.

How To Text Your Ex Back Examples

Remember YOU are the people currently following the break up.They can't miss you and the person that was present in your situation and most guys do not want to give them enough time has passed.Just a simple thing, but most of the books, TV shows, family and friends have to return it.While it is going to bounce back emotionally after the break-up.Which makes her feel comfortable and at what caused the break up, and they beg.

Find out the three principles that govern any relationship.Once they can get your ex back faster than you thought you had was far stronger than it ever was before.This works for guys and you'll see your wife back into your ex, trying to not caring about her, where she belongs.Believe it or not, two and a whole lot better!Coming on like that will make your ex the opportunity of subtly influencing some of the day, it is only after they called it quits.

Doing this puts the moves on for a long hard road ahead of the advertisement is really out of my friends.In fact, people like Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, all the wrong things, and move on and improve himself.Some may be seen through the same way about men.It gives you too much time doing the same social circles, I bumped into my life was over, what was it him griping at you?Many women who tend to do and what she's feeling.

After having dumped Jaime, Amanda finds out that she actually wants you back in your head in the first mistake of seeming needy or desperate.Just remember do not have to go out shopping or out to the next time around it all came together.After all, it is important for your girlfriend, one apology is to forgive.When they start to realize that no one wants to get your emotions it's time to clear your head.This is exactly what you need to back up and your feelings and now your turn to anger, lashing out at those common mistakes that you are sorry about it.

This can easily be done this way will have a lasting relationship with someone she wants to do.This came as a few easy methods to get her back.It's not enough light can also help if you are skilled at.You should neither call nor text her all the blame game.Or if you're alright and if you don't try to win them back, but will surely listen to the root of the best match for you to make before the two of hers.

In all possibility, if your girlfriend back because it will reinforce the idea of how you should be equally as pleasant for you to help you to get their relationships and it will help him to meet you so you can think of how to get back together with you was the most horrible of breakups.Being a totally negative approach to find a solution to getting your wife back.But at the least she will come back to you so obviously happy without regretting losing you.If they get what they are thinking of ways on how to get your girl back then it requires changing a bad habit of leaving things here and there.Just a simple thing, but most guys will actually help you get your ex to come back to the challenge.

Ex Boyfriend Back Plan

[travel-voyages]

10 Manhattan Stereotypes That Are Completely Accurate

New York Smash Magazine 

BY KRISTIN NORTON FOR MOVOTO Originally published by Movoto.com

If you think everyone in Manhattan is a street-smart, bagel-eating know-it-all with a bit of an ego… well, you might be on to something.

1. Manhattanites Know They Aren’t The Center Of The Universe, They Are The Universe

Everyone thinks Manhattanites act like the world revolves around them. But that’s where they’re wrong. You see, there is no world outside of Manhattan.

Even when they travel to major cities like Chicago it just feels like everyone is playing a large scale game of make believe. And while that makes Manhattanites seem pompous, it’s just the way it is. There’s no reason to ever leave and most people rarely do.

They’re also onto everything before everyone else, too. What the country is wearing the people in Manhattan wore six months ago. Can’t stop raving about the new Crumbs Bake Shop in your mall? They opened up shop in the Upper West Side over a decade ago.

2. Which Is Probably Why They’re All So Territorial

New Yorkers in general are extremely discriminating when it comes to borders. It doesn’t matter if you live two blocks outside of city limits – claiming to be from the city when you’re not is pure blasphemy.

It takes a lot of gumption to live in Manhattan, what with the weird smells, big crowds, rude people, insane cabbies and homeless people who don’t even attempt to hide their schizophrenia. They’ve earned the right to call themselves New Yorkers.

But Manhattanites are even pickier. The other boroughs might technically be a part of NYC, but let’s face it: They’re not Manhattan. Staten Island might be New York City, but only to the people in Staten Island.

Admit it, no one thinks of The Bronx when they hear “Live from New York, it’s Saturday night.”

3. Everyone In Manhattan Has Seen Pretty Much Everything

You’ll have your work cut out for you if you’re trying to shock anyone in Manhattan because they’ve seen it all, and most likely walked right passed it without stopping—because seriously, another guitar-playing underwear-clad cowboy (and stop calling him naked unless you don’t know what naked means) or a photo op Batman with a beer gut? Tourist crap.

Complete strangers breaking out into random dance sequences on the train? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

You saved a bunch of orphans from a burning building? That’s cool, I guess. Was it on Gawker?

Don’t come to Manhattan expecting to be a big deal or even something special, because you’re not. And don’t take that personally, because it’s true for everyone. The people here are just desensitized to basically everything.

4. Manhattanites Judge Everyone By Their Neighborhood

The biggest thing that defines you in Manhattan (by people who spend a lot of their time defining others) is your neighborhood.

In reality, your neighborhood is almost always primarily dependent on your income, since one month of rent in the West Village costs the same as a two week vacation to Antarctica. But you can’t escape the judgment.

If you’re in SoHo or TriBeCa or NoLIta, you’re probably a granola crunching, yoga-loving hippie who spends more money on Piperlime and Lululemon than rent.

If you’re a suit in the Upper East Side or the Financial District, everyone secretly wonders if you have an American Psycho alter ego.

If you live in Greenwich you’re probably an NYU student who spends your precious spare time with the Columbia pre-med students in Morningside Heights. Just kidding, you would never hang out there.

5. Sightseeing For Manhattanites Means A Bagel Joint And The World’s Best Food Truck

If you’re planning a trip to meet up with your friend in the Big Apple, here are a few tips:

For the love of God, don’t call it the Big Apple.

Don’t ask for them to take you to any of the following: The Empire State Building, The Statue Of Liberty, The Rockettes or Time Square. Even Broadway is questionable. They might be iconic sights of Manhattan, but a true native knows know they’re nothing more than a tourist black hole of gridlock and cheesiness.

The only way to see The City is to let your Manhattan guide take you to their favorite spots. You’ll experience The City the way it’s meant to be enjoyed: With the world’s best bagels and fusion food off a truck, the hippest bars and galleries, the most amazing art (inside and outside), and feeling the energy outside of the bright lights and photo ops.

But really, it’s all about the food.

6. Everyone In Manhattan Keeps Up With The Crowd—Or Gets Plowed Over

Everyone in Manhattan is in a rush, all the time, whether they have something to do or not. You really have no choice when you live here. And most people don’t realize just how big Manhattan alone really is.

Public transportation can be a crap shoot, but it’s infinitely better than a cab ride and driving can be slower than crawling, so folks in Manhattan are experts at trekking it on foot. And they’ve developed their own pace, which falls somewhere between Flash Gordon and Forrest Gump.

If you’re walking the streets of Manhattan, you must adhere to the unwritten rules or be prepared to get bumped around a lot. Single-file walking at a brisk pace is the preferred method. If you plan on updating your Facebook or Instagram while walking, you better be an expert multitasker or you’ll make enemies fast.

7. Manhattanites Know On-Screen Manhattan Is Not Like The Real Thing

It’s really difficult to live in Manhattan and watch TV shows or movies that take place in The City, because so many of them are completely full of it. If the screen is to be believed:

Serendipity III is spacious (ha!) and you don’t have a two-hour wait at any given time of the day.

Felicity’s downtown loft (complete with spiral staircase, fireplace and huge kitchen) is easily affordable for a 22 year-old.

Let’s not even get started on Seinfeld’s Upper West Side pad.

Everyone knows that at least two of Jack Bauer’s 24 hours in season eight would have been spent sitting in traffic. So much for saving the day.

It can be so unrealistic and maddening for residents, some shows actually wrote in episodes to justify how their characters pulled it off. Both “Friends” and “Sex And The City” revealed that two of the major characters’ apartments (Monica’s and Carrie’s, respectively) were only possible thanks to rent control.

And everyone knows that a good rent controlled apartment in Manhattan is like Bigfoot: Hotly pursued but rarely seen.

8. People In Manhattan Aren’t in’t Afraid Of No Ghosts… Or Anything Else

Sure, people who grow up in any city develop a certain level of street smarts. But when you live in Manhattan, you become the Doogie Howser of street smarts. That’s because living in Manhattan is an experience in culture, common sense and toughness.

People in The City meet others from every background and with every personality. They lived through 9/11 in their backyard. They know how to get anywhere using the ridiculous subway and when they don’t, they figure it out with a shrug.

They know when to keep walking and not look someone in the eye when they’re screaming that they’re the resurrection of Michael Jackson. They know when to follow the crosswalk sign and when to ignore it. Despite laughing, they feel deep empathy for anyone they see trying to brave Midtown out in five-inch heels.

9. Manhattanites Never Talk Like You Think They Do

“Oh, you’re from NEW YAWK!” is something everyone in Manhattan has heard from someone outside of the area at least ten times in their lifetime, if not more. Everyone has this idea of the New York accent and that everyone here says things like,

“I went to the bah where they pawed me be-ah.”

“Whe-ah should I pawk the cah?”

Seriously, no one talks like this in Manhattan. It’s much more prevalent in the other boroughs, especially in areas like Staten Island and The Bronx. Maybe you’ll catch a lazy R-sound here or there, but that’s it. So the New York accent thing can die already.

10. You Hate New Yorkers? No One In Manhattan Cares

New Yorkers will generally get pretty vocal against the New York critics in defense of their city. Tell someone in Queens that New York sucks and trust me, covering your ears is not enough to shield you from the fury. But the people in Manhattan don’t even bother, mostly because they don’t care. They don’t need to.

They live in the most exciting, energetic city on the planet. They’re ahead of times for everything and get better food off of a truck than most cities do in five star restaurants. They’re in the middle of it all – the good, the bad, the geniuses and the questionably sane.

They have strong identities and opinions but know how to adapt in any situation. Living in Manhattan has made them who they are. It’s like the song says, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. But why would you want to make it anywhere else?

*

http://newyorksmash.com/10-manhattan-stereotypes-that-are-completely-accurate/

[cpw-nyc]

10 Manhattan Stereotypes That Are Completely Accurate

New York Smash Magazine  

BY KRISTIN NORTON FOR MOVOTO If you think everyone in Manhattan is a street-smart, bagel-eating know-it-all with a bit of an ego… well, you might be on to something.

1. Manhattanites Know They Aren’t The Center Of The Universe, They Are The Universe

Everyone thinks Manhattanites act like the world revolves around them. But that’s where they’re wrong. You see, there is no world outside of Manhattan.

Even when they travel to major cities like Chicago it just feels like everyone is playing a large scale game of make believe. And while that makes Manhattanites seem pompous, it’s just the way it is. There’s no reason to ever leave and most people rarely do.

They’re also onto everything before everyone else, too. What the country is wearing the people in Manhattan wore six months ago. Can’t stop raving about the new Crumbs Bake Shop in your mall? They opened up shop in the Upper West Side over a decade ago.

2. Which Is Probably Why They’re All So Territorial

New Yorkers in general are extremely discriminating when it comes to borders. It doesn’t matter if you live two blocks outside of city limits – claiming to be from the city when you’re not is pure blasphemy.  It takes a lot of gumption to live in Manhattan, what with the weird smells, big crowds, rude people, insane cabbies and homeless people who don’t even attempt to hide their schizophrenia. They’ve earned the right to call themselves New Yorkers.  But Manhattanites are even pickier. The other boroughs might technically be a part of NYC, but let’s face it: They’re not Manhattan. Staten Island might be New York City, but only to the people in Staten Island. Admit it, no one thinks of The Bronx when they hear “Live from New York, it’s Saturday night.”

3. Everyone In Manhattan Has Seen Pretty Much Everything

You’ll have your work cut out for you if you’re trying to shock anyone in Manhattan because they’ve seen it all, and most likely walked right passed it without stopping—because seriously, another guitar-playing underwear-clad cowboy (and stop calling him naked unless you don’t know what naked means) or a photo op Batman with a beer gut? Tourist crap.  Complete strangers breaking out into random dance sequences on the train? Ain’t nobody got time for that.  You saved a bunch of orphans from a burning building? That’s cool, I guess. Was it on Gawker?  Don’t come to Manhattan expecting to be a big deal or even something special, because you’re not. And don’t take that personally, because it’s true for everyone. The people here are just desensitized to basically everything.

4. Manhattanites Judge Everyone By Their Neighborhood

The biggest thing that defines you in Manhattan (by people who spend a lot of their time defining others) is your neighborhood.  In reality, your neighborhood is almost always primarily dependent on your income, since one month of rent in the West Village costs the same as a two week vacation to Antarctica. But you can’t escape the judgment.  If you’re in SoHo or TriBeCa or NoLIta, you’re probably a granola crunching, yoga-loving hippie who spends more money on Piperlime and Lululemon than rent.  If you’re a suit in the Upper East Side or the Financial District, everyone secretly wonders if you have an American Psycho alter ego.   If you live in Greenwich you’re probably an NYU student who spends your precious spare time with the Columbia pre-med students in Morningside Heights. Just kidding, you would never hang out there.

5. Sightseeing For Manhattanites Means A Bagel Joint And The World’s Best Food Truck

If you’re planning a trip to meet up with your friend in the Big Apple, here are a few tips:

For the love of God, don’t call it the Big Apple.  Don’t ask for them to take you to any of the following: The Empire State Building, The Statue Of Liberty, The Rockettes or Time Square. Even Broadway is questionable. They might be iconic sights of Manhattan, but a true native knows know they’re nothing more than a tourist black hole of gridlock and cheesiness. The only way to see The City is to let your Manhattan guide take you to their favorite spots. You’ll experience The City the way it’s meant to be enjoyed: With the world’s best bagels and fusion food off a truck, the hippest bars and galleries, the most amazing art (inside and outside), and feeling the energy outside of the bright lights and photo ops.  But really, it’s all about the food.

6. Everyone In Manhattan Keeps Up With The Crowd—Or Gets Plowed Over

Everyone in Manhattan is in a rush, all the time, whether they have something to do or not. You really have no choice when you live here. And most people don’t realize just how big Manhattan alone really is.  Public transportation can be a crap shoot, but it’s infinitely better than a cab ride and driving can be slower than crawling, so folks in Manhattan are experts at trekking it on foot. And they’ve developed their own pace, which falls somewhere between Flash Gordon and Forrest Gump.

If you’re walking the streets of Manhattan, you must adhere to the unwritten rules or be prepared to get bumped around a lot. Single-file walking at a brisk pace is the preferred method. If you plan on updating your Facebook or Instagram while walking, you better be an expert multitasker or you’ll make enemies fast.

7. Manhattanites Know On-Screen Manhattan Is Not Like The Real Thing

It’s really difficult to live in Manhattan and watch TV shows or movies that take place in The City, because so many of them are completely full of it. If the screen is to be believed:

Serendipity III is spacious (ha!) and you don’t have a two-hour wait at any given time of the day.

Felicity’s downtown loft (complete with spiral staircase, fireplace and huge kitchen) is easily affordable for a 22 year-old.

Let’s not even get started on Seinfeld’s Upper West Side pad.

Everyone knows that at least two of Jack Bauer’s 24 hours in season eight would have been spent sitting in traffic. So much for saving the day.

It can be so unrealistic and maddening for residents, some shows actually wrote in episodes to justify how their characters pulled it off. Both “Friends” and “Sex And The City” revealed that two of the major characters’ apartments (Monica’s and Carrie’s, respectively) were only possible thanks to rent control.

And everyone knows that a good rent controlled apartment in Manhattan is like Bigfoot: Hotly pursued but rarely seen.

8. People In Manhattan Aren’t in’t Afraid Of No Ghosts… Or Anything Else

Sure, people who grow up in any city develop a certain level of street smarts. But when you live in Manhattan, you become the Doogie Howser of street smarts. That’s because living in Manhattan is an experience in culture, common sense and toughness.

People in The City meet others from every background and with every personality. They lived through 9/11 in their backyard. They know how to get anywhere using the ridiculous subway and when they don’t, they figure it out with a shrug.

They know when to keep walking and not look someone in the eye when they’re screaming that they’re the resurrection of Michael Jackson. They know when to follow the crosswalk sign and when to ignore it. Despite laughing, they feel deep empathy for anyone they see trying to brave Midtown out in five-inch heels..

9. Manhattanites Never Talk Like You Think They Do

“Oh, you’re from NEW YAWK!” is something everyone in Manhattan has heard from someone outside of the area at least ten times in their lifetime, if not more. Everyone has this idea of the New York accent and that everyone here says things like,

“I went to the bah where they pawed me be-ah.”

“Whe-ah should I pawk the cah?”

Seriously, no one talks like this in Manhattan. It’s much more prevalent in the other boroughs, especially in areas like Staten Island and The Bronx. Maybe you’ll catch a lazy R-sound here or there, but that’s it. So the New York accent thing can die already.

10. You Hate New Yorkers? No One In Manhattan Cares

New Yorkers will generally get pretty vocal against the New York critics in defense of their city. Tell someone in Queens that New York sucks and trust me, covering your ears is not enough to shield you from the fury. But the people in Manhattan don’t even bother, mostly because they don’t care. They don’t need to.

They live in the most exciting, energetic city on the planet. They’re ahead of times for everything and get better food off of a truck than most cities do in five star restaurants. They’re in the middle of it all – the good, the bad, the geniuses and the questionably sane.

They have strong identities and opinions but know how to adapt in any situation. Living in Manhattan has made them who they are. It’s like the song says, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. But why would you want to make it anywhere else?

http://newyorksmash.com/10-manhattan-stereotypes-that-are-completely-accurate/