#do you change them a lot or were they always like this?

[lustspren]

All Of The Lights ft Mina, Sana, Momo.

length: 27,1k words✦

Flashing Lights sequel.

Male reader, Male character x Mina, Sana, Momo.

genres: fivesome, anal, voyeur, hard sex, double/triple blowjob, creampie, double penetration, striptease, oral sex, facefuck, squirt, facial, bi, footjob, titjob, thighjob, butt play, daddy kink, sauna, sweaty sex ✧

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The stars had aligned. The opportunity had presented itself to you, once again. With a promotion of stratospheric proportions and a long, well-deserved vacation. You had every reason to aim high. Budapest. You had to go back to Budapest. Your body was begging you, the universe itself was begging you. It was an imperative need. That damn place seemed to attract you like an industrial magnet, and you had no intention of resisting that call.

Besides, you had a promise to keep. A promise you had made over a year ago to a gorgeous Japanese girl who managed to win your heart in just three days. You remembered her face every day, and not just hers, but also the girl who had stopped you from getting beaten up in the first place.

You needed them. In the UK you felt incomplete, counting the days and hours. Not living, just killing time. The only way was to go back.

And there you were, in front of that place again. You had to admit that during the flight to Budapest you had an irrational fear that for some reason the establishment no longer existed. But no, it was still there, standing tall, mysterious and elegant. You could also hear the loud music booming just a few meters below. It was still operational, thank God.

And still not a single damn security guard at the door. Who knows how many other poor bastards with less luck than you have already been beaten out.

Your stomach was in knots, but you went in anyway.

Inside everything was exactly the same as you remembered it, except that this time you didn't know what you were getting into, with a mixture of fear, uncertainty and curiosity. This time you knew exactly what you were doing, and as you went down those stairs you could do nothing but think about that girl. Was she still there? There was no reason to believe otherwise, but when you got downstairs you didn't see her anywhere.

Another girl, however, immediately caught your attention. Among all the dancers, waitresses and assistants, she gave off a very different aura and kind of beauty, standing on one of the small circular platforms for everyone to see her dancing to Dua Lipa's New Rules. Her light brown hair ran free, shiny and silky. Slim body, but full of perfect curves in every possible place, covered by a black lace outfit, under which she wore a black top and shorts. And damn, her face was downright a gift from the gods.

The way she moved was hypnotic, mesmerizing, with the energy of a person who was confident of herself and her charms. And bloody hell... those facial expressions were everything. She had every single man's mouth watering. Many offered bills in exchange for touching her, but she only mocked them with an incredulous laugh and a haughty look. You had never seen anything like that before; you were stunned. She…

"You here again?" A male voice said from your left, snapping you out of your trance. “You’re a fucking pain, kid.”

You never thought you’d be glad to see the man you turned around to see.

“And you’re a fucking grouch, Takashi,” you said with a smirk, looking at the burly man who nearly killed you a year ago. He looked better this time, with a visibly more expensive suit and a decent haircut. “Still no security guards at the door?”

“Still not learning Japanese?”

A laugh escaped you.

“Touché.”

“If you’re looking for the bosses, they’re not here right now,” he said, crossing his arms.

You frowned.

“The bosses?” you asked. “Plural?”

“Yeah, bosses. Miss Myoui now runs this club in conjunction with Miss Hirai.”

You knew a lot could change in a year, but that wasn't part of your assumptions. A pleasant surprise, indeed.

"And where are they? Momo was always here."

"It's none of your business, boy!" Takashi pointed at you with his finger. "Wait as long as it takes or fuck off!"

"But..."

Takashi didn't let you finish, he just glared at you and went into the club to do his respective patrol. What a grumpy fucking lad.

With no other option but to wait, you went straight to the bar, this time without any Japanese bouncers to stop you. The girl was still dancing a few meters to the right, but all you could think about was refreshing your throat with something really cold.

There were a couple of not-so-friendly-looking men sitting at the bar, chatting between arrogant laughs. You took the stool as far away from them as possible, not because you were scared, but to avoid controversy over the fact that you were the only non-Asian there.

As soon as you sat down, a cute, slim girl in a sleeveless black dress, with her dark hair down, approached you. The bartender.

"Shitsurei itashimasu ga, go-chūmon wa nani ni nasaimasu ka?" she said, of course, in Japanese.

"Uh..." you scratched your eyebrow. "Do you know any English, dear?"

The girl stared at you with a frown, one elbow on the bar.

"English," you repeated more slowly.

"Oh, eigo!" she nodded quickly. "Little bit," she finally replied.

You sighed. Well, you'd have to be clear and concise.

"Uhm... whiskey?" you asked under her watchful gaze. "Scotch?"

"Scotch whiski?" she asked, and turned to the shelf of bottles to give it a quick glance. "Oh! That one?"

She pointed, thankfully, to a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label.

"Yes!" you nodded. "One, with tonic water, please."

"Hai!"

The girl got to work, with frankly surprising speed. She had your drink ready in less than a minute, without a single hint of error. You didn't remember seeing her a year ago, but she most likely had quite a bit of experience already.

"Thank you very much, dear," you smiled at her once she handed you the drink.

She just smiled back, and after a small bow she went to serve the other customers. So you were left alone with your glass of whiskey, which like a good Brit you knew how to appreciate once the first sip went down your throat. It was just what you needed to relax your body.

Out of the corner of your eye you noticed someone sitting next to you. You only saw the shadow, so you didn't know if it was a man or a woman. You, minding your own business, decided not to turn around so as not to attract attention.

"Moka-chan!" the person said. A woman. "Osake wo ippai choudai, onegai. Tsukarechatta!"

She said that last word with a tired tone and a sigh. You frowned and turned your head just a little. This time you managed to see the silhouette, pale and darkly dressed. Was it...?

"Ah! Sana-chan!" said the bartender, who you deduced was called Moka, with a smile. "Sugu ni ne! Asoko de sugokatta yo!"

The girl next to you, Sana, let out a cute giggle.

"Arigato, arigato!"

Her voice was extremely sweet, like a sugary melody made for tired ears. You stared at your glass still full of whiskey, but curiosity had you by the neck, and in the end forced you to turn to look at her, as discreetly as you could.

She was, indeed, the girl you had seen dancing a few minutes ago, and if she looked beautiful from so many meters away, from this distance it was like seeing the love child between two angels. Her gaze was fixed straight ahead, attentive as Moka served her whatever she had ordered, her chin resting on her knuckles.

"Hai, douzo!" said Moka, handing Sana a small glass with a clear liquid that could well have been vodka, tequila, or who knows what. "Uchi no sutā ni ippai!"

Sana accepted the small glass with a nod of her head and a charming smirk. She then took it and, without even thinking twice, drank it all in one gulp before tapping the bar with the empty glass.

"Ah, oishii!" exclaimed Sana, visibly happier.

But what you didn't notice was that you had been staring at her for too long, so as soon as she turned her head slightly, she caught you. You quickly looked back at your glass, and tried to cover it up by taking a sip while looking in the opposite direction. With a bit of luck, she would forget about it and...

"Nee..." she said. "Nani miteru no?"

Shit. The implied question tone made it clear that she was talking to you. You couldn't just ignore her; that would be rude, but you also didn't know how to look at her after you'd been doing it in secret.

"Hm? Matte..." she paused, and you noticed how she leaned forward a little to get a better look at you. "You're not Japanese, are you?"

You sighed and looked at your whiskey, with no other option but to give up.

"You got me, I guess," you replied, and now you looked at her. Bad mistake. That only made you nervous, as she was too close and her beauty worked twice as effectively.

"You are aware of where you are, sweetheart?" she asked.

"Quite aware, yes," you nodded with a chuckle. "Do you speak English?"

"I do, and apparently you too..." she picked up her stool and moved it closer to yours. "Which leads me to think that you are definitely not Hungarian, you are a foreigner."

"What makes you think that I am not just a Hungarian who speaks very good English?" you asked, and took a sip of your whiskey with your gaze fixed straight ahead.

"No one here has that accent," Sana replied with a smirk. "But okay, let’s say you’re actually Hungarian. That doesn't answer the most important question of all..." she moved even closer, her face on the side of your shoulder. "What are you doing here?"

"Why, does my presence bother you?" you asked, glancing at her.

"Not at all, sweetheart," she said, shaking her head. "But I'm surprised you're still sitting here without Takashi-kun kicking your ass."

"Well..." you swirled the whiskey in your glass. "Let's just say I'm not an unfamiliar face to him. I've been here before."

"That doesn't answer my question, in fact it gives me a better one: what did you do that time to not get your ass kicked and why are you back?" she asked, tilting her head to meet your gaze. "You don't seem interested in us dancers... even though you should definitely be interested in me."

"To start off, darling, that's two questions and one self-centered statement," you replied, shoving your hands into the pockets of your windbreaker, then turning the stool around to face her. "That time your boss saved my ass."

Sana frowned and opened her mouth in surprise.

"Momo-sama?"

You nodded.

"Back then Miss Myoui was still a dancer," you said. "I'm waiting for them right now."

"Are you a business partner or something?" she asked.

"I don't remember at what point this turned into an interrogation," you picked up your glass of whiskey on your left and took a sip, looking at Sana. "Anyway, it's my turn to ask the questions now."

"And what if I don't want to answer them?" she asked, shifting her crossed legs.

"Oh, you'll want to answer this one," you said with a smile. "You said I should definitely be interested in you, why?"

"The answer to that question lies in how you were looking at me before I caught you red-handed," she subtly took the glass from your hand. "So you tell me," she then took a sip of your whiskey, her eyes fixed on you.

You looked into her eyes and then away to her now whiskey-wet, tantalizingly kissable lips.

"Because you're a delight. You look like the real thing..." you took the glass back from her and drank from the same side as her. "And I'm sure you must taste like the real thing."

Sana smiled.

"There's your answer. Still, I have one last question..." she took the glass from you, but this time she set it on the bar to stand up and between your legs, her hands on your thighs and her face inches from yours. "Do you want to taste me?"

Having her up close put all your senses on full spurt. Your heart began to beat faster, and her hands on your thighs caused the bulge in your pants to stir as you woke up. You were supposed to sit there waiting for the girls to come, but it was rare to see such tempting Japanese candy like that.

"Aren't you going to get in trouble?" you asked, taking the liberty of putting your hands on that small waist. "You seem pretty famous around here."

"Trouble?" She laughed out loud, as if the question offended her. "I'm the star of this club, I can do whatever I want..." She brought one of her hands to your bulge to give it a gentle squeeze. "Even fuck a cute foreign boy who's maybe too god damn lucky."

"Too lucky, indeed…”

Then she kissed you.

Sana only needed five seconds to prove that she was the hell of a good kisser. Your lips were wrapped in a sensual exchange of saliva, her hand constantly massaging your bulge until your cock was hard under your pants. She was smart; she did it knowing that from the other side of the bar no one could see what she was doing with her hand, so Moka couldn't stop you.

You put your arms around her in the middle of the kiss, delighted to be able to feel that sexy slim body under the tip of your fingers. When you lowered one of your hands to grab her ass she squeezed your cock harder, and as you began to massage one of her butt cheeks she let out a small moan against your lips.

"To give you an idea of ​​how lucky you are..." she said between kisses. "The last time a man tried to do what you're doing..." another hard squeeze to your now painfully hard cock. "He left with broken wrists."

"Ouch..." you said.

"Shall we go to the bathroom? To your place?" she asked.

"The bathroom suits my urge to bury my cock deep inside you better," you replied.

Sana let out a sly smile.

"You're a bold son of a bitch, have you been told that?"

"A couple of times," you admitted.

She let go of you to walk away from the bar, but not before looking over her shoulder at you, indicating for you to follow her. You did so, after taking a last sip of your whiskey.

"Oi, omae!" a female voice called out from behind you, as you were halfway to the bathroom.

You stood very still, staring at the floor. Sana had also stopped to turn around. You knew that voice, more than perfectly. You ended up turning around, very slowly.

Standing at the bottom of the stairs was she. Myoui Mina. As beautiful and graceful as ever. It was the first time you saw her dressed like that, in black shorts, a turtleneck sweater, and a black trench coat with beautiful silver engravings on it, a clear sign of her now well-deserved new status. Her countenance was stern, unyielding. Like that of a supreme empress who knew she could have a mountain moved for her with just one word.

But still, that countenance softened and transformed into something completely new the moment she recognized you.

Mina took slow steps towards you, and you towards her. Instantly she quickened her pace, and a smile formed on both her face and yours. The last few meters she shortened with long strides, until finally, you wrapped each other in a strong embrace.

"I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!" She squealed against your shoulder, her arms wrapped around your neck, and yours around her waist. “I knew you were coming back!”

“I had to, didn’t I?” you replied, and buried your face in her hair to breathe in her familiar scent. “A promise is a promise.”

A few feet ahead, just down the stairs, the woman who had made it all possible in the first place appeared. Hirai Momo looked as sexy and alluring as ever, dressed in a two-piece outfit that looked like a full-body dress, her body as delicious looking as you remembered, only now she had shorter hair.

Her expression was a bit different from Mina’s. Funny, to say the least. She looked like she had seen a ghost, but you still managed to notice small hints of a smile. She was pleased, but she couldn’t seem to believe it as she slowly walked towards you.

“One year and four months, you jerk…” she muttered, clinging to you like a koala to its branch. "You took too long."

"I know, sweetheart, I'm sorry..." you murmured back, rubbing her back with your hand. "But there wasn't a single day that I didn't think about you... and here I am."

Mina pulled away from you slightly, to look you in the eyes up close. She then cupped your face with her soft hands, and without warning, she kissed you. It wasn't something that bothered you at all, of course, but the surprise lay in where she was doing it, not caring what her employees or her customers thought. You didn't care either, that's why you gladly accepted the kiss.

The remorse of conscience, however, made you break the kiss a few seconds earlier than you would have liked. Meters behind you the cause must have still been standing, maybe confused, maybe angry, maybe disappointed, or a mix of all three. You really had no idea.

“Damn, you two can’t wait for a moment of privacy, can you?” Momo asked, standing behind Mina before shifting her gaze behind you. “Soko de nani shiteru no? Ojō-san. Nanika matteru no?”

That last bit was for Sana. You pulled away from Mina to turn and look at her. Sana had her arms crossed, a mischievous smile plastered on her face as she watched you and Mina. That ruled out your previous assumptions; she looked satisfied.

“Oh, nothing, boss,” Sana replied directly in English. She took a few steps towards the two of you, but kept her gaze locked on you. “Definitely not a business partner, huh?”

Mina furrowed her brow, and looked at you and Sana.

“I assume you two have met already.”

“Hai, at the bar,” Sana pointed at it with her chin, her hands behind her back. “Your cute boyfriend was waiting for you like a good boy.”

On your quest to find a place to look without looking suspicious, you met the knowing eyes of Momo, who was watching you with a small, sly smile. She nodded at Sana, which you interpreted as a yes or no question. You just shrugged and nodded, a yes.

“I see,” Mina crossed her arms. “But you two seemed to be going somewhere. May I know where?”

Sana gave you furtive glances.

“Well, he asked me very nicely to show him where the bathroom was,” she replied before fixing you with a look. “Right?”

“Ah yeah yeah,” you laughed. “That whiskey filled my bladder faster than I anticipated.”

That didn’t seem to convince Mina, who raised her eyebrows and nodded slowly to look at you.

"Lucky, huh? Thank goodness our Sana-chan is so kind," she stared at you without blinking, hoping to fluster you so you'd give yourself away.

You didn't know how to respond, so you gave Momo a quick glance to signal her to stop holding back her laughter and help you out.

"Oi, Mina-chan," she finally chimed in, standing next to the three of you. "I really need a seat and a drink, let's go inside."

"You're right, I'm thirsty too," Mina replied without taking her eyes off you. "Will you join us, sweetie?" she raised an eyebrow.

"What do you think?"

She smiled.

"Come on then."

Mina was the one who took the lead. You then looked at Sana, who winked at you once Mina's back was turned.

"Alright, you two," Momo said, standing very close to the two of you. She put one hand on your back and the other around Sana's waist. "I don't like being lied to. Who's going to tell me the truth first?"

"We were going to fuck in the bathroom until you two came along, boss," Sana replied, bluntly, without mincing words, unfazed.

You glared at her, and gave Mina a quick glance to see if she had heard; she didn't seem to have, she was watching you at the entrance to the hallway leading to the office, expectantly.

Momo couldn't help but laugh.

"You work fast, huh?" she looked at you. "At this rate you're going to fuck even Moka."

"Actually," Sana chimed in. "I was the one who seduced him and made him drool all over me. It wasn't his doing, boss."

"Oh my god..." you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. She was only making you look worse with every single thing she said.

"Did you see his cock already?" Momo asked, biting her own lip and looking at you.

"Actually no," Sana giggled and looked at you too. "But I did touch it... and I wanted it deep inside me right away."

"You're coming with us then?" Momo looked at Sana, and you noticed how she squeezed her waist. "You know... we'll drink something, chat, and maybe put on a great little show."

"A great little show?" Sana gasped in surprise. "I'll get to dance for my bosses?"

"With your bosses," Momo corrected, and looked at you. "The dance will be for our extra exclusive customer."

"I see..." Sana nodded slowly, before giving a quick glance to Mina, who was already getting impatient. "His girlfriend won't be upset?"

Momo let out a laugh.

"She's not even his damn girlfriend," she paused to think about it. "Well, not for now at least. But in the meantime he can do whatever he wants. He’s single."

Sana shrugged with her head cocked to the side, showing false innocence.

"Then I don't see why not, boss."

"Saikō!" Momo clapped her hands, grinning from ear to ear. "Follow me then."

You were about to complain about the hasty decision, but held back as you assumed there was nothing you disagreed with. You wanted that more than any of the three of them. The only drawback was Mina; you didn't know how she was going to take it, but you didn't think she was going to put up too many obstacles either. After all, you only had an emotional bond, nothing formal: she wasn't your girlfriend.

Yet. Who knows what was going to happen in those four days.

"Come on, sweetheart," Sana urged you as Momo walked towards the office. She leaned close to your ear. "I'm dying to taste that juicy cock."

Sana pulled away from you with a mischievous smirk, and winked at you before turning around and following Momo. You followed her as well.

To your surprise, the entire office had been remodeled, so nothing was in the place you remembered. The floor, now level and without steps, was made of elegant dark wood planks that made a soft creaking sound under your feet. The famous pole was no longer at the back of the room, it was now near the entrance, in front of the large semi-rectangular shaped couch, where Mina was now comfortably seated, cross-legged, while eating peanuts from a glass bowl.

The ceiling was still as high as before, made of a beautiful wooden facade with warm bulbs embedded in it. On each side of the room extended long, low chests of drawers, on which they displayed objects of all kinds, from books to small gadgets. The walls were decorated with paintings, the most notable one on the back wall. The corners, meanwhile, were adorned with tall plants and a majestic marble statue, representing a swan in full flight.

And of course, there were now two desks instead of one.

"I was going to ask what you were talking about without me, but I don't think I need to," Mina said, seeing Sana enter with you.

You took a few steps forward, carefully observing the entire space. The gold color was everywhere, especially in the details of the furniture and the ceiling. Even the pole seemed to be made of the precious metal. You doubted its authenticity, but with the amount of money Momo handled, you wouldn't be surprised if it was real.

"Sana-chan will be joining us to celebrate tonight, my dear," Momo announced, walking past the couch towards her desk, to set her handbag down.

Sana, still near the entrance, gave a small bow to Mina.

"It's an honor, Mina-sama," she said, her hands clasped together on her belly.

You sat down next to Mina, who immediately offered you peanuts. You grabbed a couple and ate them. The couch was considerably more comfortable than the old one, and the lilac velvet gave it the perfect touch. The only drawback was that the backrest was lower, making it difficult to fully support your back.

“Please call me Mina, sweetie,” she waved her hand casually, leaving the bowl of peanuts on the coffee table. “Come sit with us.”

“Hai!” Sana bowed again, and with slow steps went to sit right next to you.

“What are you celebrating for?” you looked at Mina. “Is that why you were out?”

“That’s right!” Momo appeared again, now with a bottle of chilled champagne in one hand and four glasses skillfully held in the other. “We bought an apartment!”

She set the bottle and glasses down on the coffee table around the bowl of peanuts, then walked past Sana, sitting on the right side of your lap to wrap her arms around your head and hug you. You hugged her back.

"Our dream apartment," Mina clarified, watching as Momo pressed your face into her big melons. "What better reason to celebrate than that? Besides, your return is a good reason too."

"Damn, you've been doing well, haven't you?" you managed to say against Momo's breasts, then turned your face to look at Mina with a smile. "That's great sweetie, congratulations."

Mina smiled back, looking at you with a cute sparkle in her eyes.

"Thanks baby," she leaned forward to look at Sana beside you. "Though you have to give our cute star dancer a lot of credit; she's a money-making machine."

Sana leaned over to look at Mina as well, a proud smile on her face. She took some peanuts from the bowl.

"Thank the horny brained men too, boss, they're pretty pathetic."

Mina and Momo laughed.

"You're certainly not wrong," Mina said. "But I've never been handed as much money as you."

Sana shrugged, munching on some peanuts.

"I'm really good at sweet-talking them, and they seem to have never had any female contact in their life. They drop like flies."

"Sana, cutie, could you pour the champagne?" Momo asked. "I'd do it myself, but I missed my big boy and want to hug him some more."

At this point you felt like you were going to get a crick in your neck at any moment, but anything was worth it to have Momo's gorgeous ass on your lap and her breasts in your face. You had to be grateful for the privileges you had.

"Hai!" Sana nodded, and picked up the bottle as she examined the table. "Where's the corkscrew?"

"Right there," Momo pointed to the drawer of the coffee table. "It's electric, so you won't have to leave your wrist."

Sana opened the drawer and took out the corkscrew, then put the bottle on the table and got to work.

"Honey, sorry for the question," you moved away from Momo's breasts so you could look at Mina comfortably. "But how did you come to run the business with Momo?"

"Well, it's an easy question actually," she looked at Momo. "Do you want to answer it yourself?"

Momo finally removed her arms from around your neck and rested both hands on your right shoulder.

"She's a real beast at negotiating; she's much better with people than I am," she paused to look at Sana as she poured the champagne into the glasses. "As soon as I noticed, I gave her a few tests, and she passed them all with flying colors."

As she finished pouring the champagne, Sana took each glass and handed it to you one by one. You and Momo nodded in thanks.

"Thank you, dear," Mina told her with a smirk, then looked at you. "Well, yeah, I basically went back to college for a day."

"But it was worth it, wasn't it?" Momo raised an eyebrow. "Look at us now, we've taken the club to a whole other level thanks to you joining."

Mina nodded proudly.

"It was totally worth it."

"Cheers to that, girls, I really couldn't be more proud of you," you raised your glass with a smile.

Momo grabbed your face and planted her lips on your cheek. Mina leaned over to you as well and planted hers on the other one.

"Thank you, sweetheart," Momo raised her glass to the center. "Kanpai!"

"Kanpai!" you, Mina, and Sana said in unison, raising your glasses before taking a sip of the champagne.

"Baby, as much as I love having you on my lap, I can't feel my leg anymore," you patted Momo's lower back, your thigh growing numb.

Momo giggled.

"Woopsies, I'm sorry," she stood up from your thigh with an innocent little smile and went to sit on Sana's right. "Blame my big ass."

Mina took another sip of her champagne glass, set it down on the coffee table, and turned to raise one knee on top of your thighs. She then crossed her arms, looking at Sana.

"So? How was your evening, darling?" She raised an eyebrow. "You're in a good mood."

Now the real fun began. You knew Mina wasn't going to sit back and take the answer she got from Sana a few minutes ago; she'd try to get the truth out of her. 

Sana raised her eyebrows for a moment. The question had caught her taking a sip of champagne.

"Really fun, boss," she set her glass down on the coffee table. You still had yours in your hand, as did Momo. "But I was hoping it would be a little more... spicy."

"You've got quite a spicy dance routine already, what do you mean?"

"I don't know," Sana shrugged, then clasped her hands on her knee to lean towards you. "Don't you sometimes feel like your night is missing something?"

Mina frowned.

"Every night since he's not here, why?"

You stared at Mina with a half smile. Apparently you weren't the only one who was feeling that way this whole time.

Sana let out a silly giggle.

"Aw, that's adorable! So you understand how I feel tonight."

"So that's how you found him then?"

"Oh, I didn't find him," Sana said, reaching for her champagne glass. "In fact, if it were up to me I would never have noticed his existence, you already know me. He gave himself away," she sipped from the glass.

The smile on your face faded. You sipped champagne to keep from saying anything. At that moment you met Momo's gaze. She was holding back her laughter again.

"He gave himself away?"

"Yeah!" Sana nodded. "I was minding my own business, ordering my usual sip of sake from Moka-chan, when I happened to notice this…" she leaned over to you and placed her hand on your chest. "cute gentleman gaze!"

You cleared your throat.

"I literally only looked at her for a second because she was sitting next to me and she happened to look back," you said, hoping to maybe clean up your image a bit.

Sana laughed out loud, as if you'd told a really good joke.

"For a second?" she raised her eyebrows. "You looked like you were about to pierce me with your eyes!"

You shrugged, skeptical.

"Your imagination, surely."

"So you met him purely by chance?" Mina asked.

"Hai! Although I must say, it seemed like he wanted us to meet," Sana replied, giving you sidelong glances. One of them went down; you knew exactly where.

Mina looked at you, and it seemed like she also looked where Sana had. She most likely already knew the truth at this point, but she seemed to be playing with you as if she were a cat and you were a mouse.

"Is that true?" she asked, and her knee tightened on your thighs.

You were between a rock and a hard place. You had to tell the truth, but the dilemma was how you were going to do it, whether to disguise it so as not to make yourself look so needy or to cut the crap and tell things as they were.

But fuck it. If you didn't get straight to the point, the only thing you would achieve was to delay the inevitable even further.

"Yeah, I saw her dancing when I got here and she left me stunned," you leaned back, propping yourself up with your elbows on the back of the couch to look at the two of them. "When she talked to me at the bar I jumped at the chance."

A small smile formed on Sana's face as she took another sip of her champagne. She looked only at you, eager for you to spill the beans.

"The chance for what?" Mina asked.

"To take my shots."

You watched Mina's reaction closely. You expected her to be upset by it, but you only managed to catch a tiny hint of a smile. She looked down, then back at Sana.

"You weren't showing him where the bathroom was, huh?"

"Nope," you shook your head, responding for Sana. "You know what we were going to do in there, sweetheart."

Mina didn't even look at you, she was still intent on Sana, arms crossed and unblinking.

"What do you have to say about that, Sana-chan?"

"That his shots hit the mark," Sana downed the last of the champagne in her glass in one gulp, then set it down on the coffee table. "We were headed straight for fucking until you came along, boss."

"Oh, do I have to apologize, then?" Mina raised an eyebrow.

Sana gently shook her head.

"Not at all. I don't think you could have known."

The office fell into a deep silence. Mina and Sana stared at each other without saying a word, and you could perfectly imagine the lightning bolts striking between their heads. However, you didn't notice an air of confrontation, but rather a defiant one.

"Go on, then," Mina broke the silence, after a few long seconds. "You must be eager to get back to it."

"Fuck, it was about time," you heard Momo say.

"Right now?" Sana laughed.

“Yeah,” Mina moved her knee off you and moved a small distance to the left, crossing her legs again. “But I’ll decide when you two stop.”

“Ahhh!” Sana whined, pouting. “How am I supposed to focus like that?”

“That’s your problem, sweetie, not mine. Come on.”

Sana looked at you and, after kicking off her heels, straddled your lap, her hands on your abdomen. She made to lean forward, but stopped to look at Mina.

“Can I at least ask for some music?”

“As you prefer,” Mina looked at Momo. “Would you?”

“I’d be happy to,” Momo nodded, and pulled her phone out of her handbag to connect to the office sound system, set up on four large speakers positioned at each corner of the ceiling. She put on Britney Spears’ Gimme More first.

Sana then turned to look at you again. She smiled and bit her lip, and began to move her hips ever so slowly to the music, grinding against your bulge. After a few short seconds she leaned into you, her hands now on your collarbone, and with her face inches from yours, she kissed you.

Between Sana’s sweet lips and the satisfying rumble of the music it wasn’t hard to enclose yourself with her in a bubble of passion and lust. You wrapped your arms around her small waist, pressing your bodies together as she moved her hips. She cradled your face in her hands, your tongues swirling together until she pulled away to attack the right side of your neck with wet kisses and licks.

Mina’s gaze met yours, and you held it as your hands left Sana’s waist to roam the rest of her body. You touched every corner you could reach, but ended up focused on her pretty ass, which you noticed was bigger and softer than it seemed at first glance. Mina followed each movement attentively to the next, probably eager to see more.

"Damn, they really wanted each other," you heard Momo say followed by a giggle, watching as Sana kissed your neck and face and you groped her ass.

Sana untied the zipper of your parka and opened it to the sides to put her hands under your sweater. She caressed your chest and abdomen with her fingers, then kissed you again and proceeded to take off your upper garments. With your torso already naked, she lowered the kisses to your pectorals and then to your abdomen, where she stayed for a few seconds in which she grabbed the hem of your sweatpants and your boxers and pulled them down together to release your hard cock.

“Oh god, I knew I wasn’t wrong…” Sana smiled, exhaling hot breath against the back of your cock. “This thing is massive.”

The song changed to 50 Cent’s Candy Shop, perfect timing as she climbed off the couch, kneeled between your legs and took your cock in one hand to press it against her lips as she peppered it with kisses; after spreading them all over your shaft, she moved on to licking your tip in slow swirls, until finally she took you into her warm mouth.

You gifted Sana with your first moan of the night. She sucked on your tip gently for the first few seconds, still using her tongue to lick around it. Then her eyes met yours as she slowly lowered her lips halfway down your cock, one hand at your base and the other kneading your balls.

Her head movements were gentle and calculated, soon accompanied by a small series of moans that Sana let out every few seconds that made your shaft vibrate. You looked straight into her eyes, amazed at how they could change so drastically from one moment to the next: first they looked like two cute bubbles, but now they seemed to be able to see through your soul.

She gave you a few more sucks and pulled you out of her mouth, her hand moving up and down your cock.

"You want me to take my clothes off huh?" she asked, caressing your thigh with her other hand. "You've wanted to since you saw me out there."

"Y-yeah..."

"Then you're going to help me with it."

Sana let go of your cock and stood up so she had her back to you. She had taken off her lace dress in a flash, and when she was left in her shorts and top, she leaned on your thighs and sat fully on top of your cock. The song changed to Sock It 2 ​​Me by Missy Elliott and she started moving her hips to the beat, then looked over her shoulder at you.

"Come on pretty boy, undress me," she said, looking at you with those stupidly sexy eyes.

You brought your hands to her waist and let her dance against your cock for a few seconds, but soon you lost patience and pulled down the zipper on the side of her shorts, which you then grabbed the hem to pull down and slowly reveal her ass cheeks. Sana lifted her hips for a moment, and finally you were able to slide her shorts down her legs. Her panties were also semi-transparent black lace, and made her ass look like a real treat. Next was her top, easier to remove than the bottoms. Underneath she was wearing absolutely nothing, but you couldn't see anything until she stood up and turned to kneel between your legs again. They were a pair of tits that were close to perfection: pretty, round and the size of an apple.

Sana took your cock and brought it back to her mouth, sucked it up and down a few times and pulled it out to jerk you off, her eyes on yours.

"Well?" She smiled, her hand moving in a steady rhythm over your throbbing cock. “Am I just like you pictured me naked in your head?”

“Even fucking better,” you gasped, still unable to stop staring at her tits.

She noticed your gaze and reached up to rub your cock against her tits, consequently smearing them with saliva.

“You like them?” Sana giggled.

“They’re so fucking pretty…” you leaned forward to cup and squeeze one of her breasts in your hand. “I want them in my mouth.”

“And I still want your cock in my mouth,” she rubbed your tip against her nipple. “Now what do we do?”

“After I taste your tits you can ride me however you want,” you moved your hand up to her neck and then up to her chin to slide a thumb into her mouth. She sucked on it, “Is that okay with you, darling?”

“Mmmmm,” she sucked on your finger for a few seconds until she pulled it out, “We have a deal, gorgeous.”

Sana stood up to straddle your lap, her crotch pressed against your cock. You straightened your back, and now with that pair of gorgeous breasts in front of your face, you brought your hands to her ass and plunged your mouth into one of them. She let out a cute moan and gently held onto your head, rocking her hips back and forth against your cock with her fingers tangled in your hair.

You spent the next long seconds sucking on her tits and groping her ass. Your hands moved from her ass cheeks to her legs, and back up to rub her lower back. All the while, you licked and kissed her nipples, using your free hand to massage the free breast that you didn’t have in your mouth at the moment. They were a delicious, fluffy pair of tits, and if Momo didn't exist, they would definitely be the best tits you'd ever suck on in your life.

"S-stop it..." Sana moaned against your cheek. "I want that cock inside me..."

"Then put those panties aside and ride me, you little slut," you said against one of her tits.

Sana wasted no time in lifting her hips and bringing one of her hands to her crotch. You felt her pull the panties to the side, your cock now rubbing against her wet folds. She then used her other hand to grab your shaft and straighten it out to align it with her pussy. When she lowered her hips...

"Alright, stop," Mina chimed in, standing up.

Damn woman.

"Ughhh! This has to be a joke!" you groaned, bringing your hands to your face. You had completely forgotten that neither you nor Sana were in charge of what was going on.

"Boss!" Sana shrieked, forced to release your cock. "Don't be so fucking cruel!"

Mina crossed her arms as she stood in front of you.

"I said I'd decide when you were going to stop," she said. "You should have remembered that. Now stand up, girl, we've got work to do."

Sana frowned and turned to look at her. Momo seemed to know what she was talking about, judging by her smile.

"Work to do?" Sana asked.

"Remember what I said about a great little show?" Momo said, and stood up as well. "I think it's time, sweetheart."

"But I wanted to get fucked!" Sana protested. "Couldn't you have picked a better time?"

"You'll get what you want, darling," Mina said. "But on our terms."

Sana climbed off your lap and adjusted her panties, then stood up to face Mina. The bolts between foreheads again.

"Boss, with all due respect, I didn't come in here because you asked me to," Sana said. "I just wanted to do it because I want to have fun. So, if you want me to do this on your terms, you'll have to grant me one wish."

You never thought you'd hear someone speak that way to Mina or Momo, so you immediately feared for Sana. But to your surprise, neither of them took it the wrong way. Mina just smiled and looked her straight in the eyes, steely.

"And what wish could that be, chibi kōrogi-chan?"

"Like I said, I came here to have fun," Sana replied, holding her gaze. "And what better fun than two cocks instead of one? That makes it up to me for taking one of them away the first time."

Both you and Mina were about to protest, but Momo held up her hand.

"We can fulfill that wish," she said. "But again, you're on our terms."

She looked at you and Mina.

"What rules do you want to set for our guest? Not for you, for the other idiot we're bringing."

"He won't be able to touch me. Or look at me," Mina replied, visibly angry. "And I'm being too damn generous because I'm in a good mood today, Hirai."

"Blindfolded eyes and hands tied behind his back, got it," Momo then looked at you. "Anything to add?"

You didn't want to share any of the three of them with some unknown bastard. But seeing as you would keep 90% of your privileges and there was no other option, you decided to give in.

"Condom always. Even for blowjobs."

Mina nodded in satisfaction, her rigid face now a little calmer.

Sana laughed in disbelief.

"You don't happen to want to cut off his balls too?" she asked. "He won't even be able to watch the show."

"You want him to fuck, not watch the show," Mina said. "Why do you care?"

"I don't care," Sana rebutted. "I'd be disgusted if an ordinary Japanese guy touched me."

Momo clapped her hands together in applause, just like a few minutes ago.

"Then there's nothing more to discuss!" she said. "You two go get ready. I'll send for the lucky bastard."

"And what about me?" you asked. "I just wait here with a hard-on with nothing else to do?"

"Hai!" Momo said with a smirk, then walked over to her desk.

"You'll have music, at least," Mina said, stepping out of the couch space to walk to the side of the office with Sana holding her hand. "Any requests?"

"How long will it take?"

"About fifteen minutes if we're being optimistic."

"Aight, give me Supersonic by Oasis, Jigsaw Falling Into Place by Radiohead and..." you thought for a moment. "I don't fucking know, Cemetry Gates by the Smiths. Yeah, that'll do."

"Fine. As long as you don't get drunk in the meantime."

Mina blew you a kiss, and turned with Sana to go through the door to the left of Momo's desk.

Momo, who you heard on the phone just a few seconds ago, came back to you.

"Takashi will bring the poor bastard over any minute," she said. "Don't worry, neither he nor Takashi will see your dick. One is blindfolded and the other has no interest."

Supersonic started playing at that moment. Mina had to have played it from inside.

"And what do I have to do?"

"Get him to undress and put the handcuffs on him that are in the second drawer of my desk," she pointed at it. "Don't ask why I have them."

"I'm not gonna touch that dude."

"You don't have to touch him, you just need to tell him two things: Fuku wo nuide," she held up a finger. "That means undress. And damatte," she held up the other finger. "Which basically means shut up. Can you pronounce them correctly?"

"I've watched enough anime, yeah."

"Alright, see you in a bit!"

She walked over to you, gave you a peck on the cheek and walked with quick steps to the door Mina and Sana were behind.

So you were left alone, listening to one of the best songs ever written, naked and with your arms crossed. There was no sign of Takashi or the other man until the second song you had requested was halfway through, when they both came storming in. Out of instinct you covered your crotch with a nearby pillow, but it was unnecessary, Takashi was facing the opposite direction and the man he was holding by the forearm was blindfolded.

You sighed and stood up.

"Thank you, Mr. Takashi," you said, walking towards them. "I'll take it from here."

Takashi let go of the man and stood with his back to you.

"Tell Miss Hirai that I'll leave what she ordered me to do on her doorstep," he said. "And that I'm expecting my raise tomorrow."

"Uh... okay."

With nothing else to do, Takashi walked out the door and closed it. That left you alone with the man. He wasn't taller than you; he was a bit shorter, but slightly stockier and older. The way he swayed was indicative of his disorientation.

"Hey, you, do you understand English?"

"U-uh... little bit," he made the same damn gesture with his fingers as Moka.

"Fucking wonderful," you said under your breath. "Walk forward mate."

He complied, taking fearful steps forward. You had to move out of his way as you watched.

"Keep going... keep going."

The man was approaching the couch area, but he was going to crash into the coffee table.

"Stop stop!" you took strides towards him and kept your hands near his back in case he actually fell. "Take two steps to the left and then forward again."

Luckily for you, the man understood your commands and managed to successfully reach the couch. Now it was time to show off your Japanese skills.

"Aight..." you took a deep breath. "What was it like? Ah yeah, uh... Fuku wo nuide."

"Eh? Nani? Nan no tame ni?" the man looked around.

"Don't make it harder, pal," you said with a sigh. "Just o-be-y."

With that said, you went and sat on the couch, facing forward, arms crossed. Cemetry Gates had already started. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed that the man was already undressing. You avoided looking at him for now.

"What's your name, mate?" you asked, your gaze wandering between different decorations.

"R-Rizuri," the man replied, taking off his shoes and pants.

You stood up and walked over to Momo's desk.

"Alright, Rizuri," you said as you went through the second drawer, which had mostly papers, a stapler, and several pens. You found the handcuffs at the bottom; they looked perfect and of good quality, with well-polished stainless steel. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't protest."

Looking up, you saw that Rizuri had already sat down without you asking him to. What a fucking problem.

"Oh no no, stand up," you grabbed the handcuffs, closed the drawer, and walked back to him. He didn't understand you at first. "Stand-up!"

"U-uh hai!" he nodded, and then stood up.

As much as you hated to do it, you had to touch him. You grabbed his hands and put them behind his back, but he immediately freaked out and hesitated.

"Eh! Nani shiten no?!" He tried to break free from your grip, but you quickly locked the cuffs and threw the key onto the coffee table.

“Damatte!” you bellowed, and grabbed his arm tightly. “No one will hurt you, you bloody idiot. Consider yourself lucky instead.”

The song had ended a few seconds ago, and now the office was enveloped in silence. The only thing you could hear was the distant rumble of the club music on the other side of the walls.

However, the silence was suddenly interrupted when a song you hadn’t asked for, but that you knew marked the start of the show, began to play. Immediately, the ceiling lights went out, only to turn back on following the rhythm of the song that you soon recognized as Ariana Grande’s Bloodline. The pink, purple, and light blue hues alternated in dim flashes.

“Oh boy, now the fun begins,” you smiled, and pulled Rizuri back to sit on the couch. You did the same, considerably away from him.

Not even ten seconds into the song had passed when Mina appeared from your left. You were near that end of the couch, so she put her hand on your shoulder and gently slid it as she modeled the music to her position.

Your jaw nearly dropped to the floor at the sight of her dressed like that, yet another reminder of why you were so crazy about that woman. The most striking thing was her black top, adorned with shimmering purple straps, held up by three thin straps that revealed her completely bare back. She also wore high heeled boots that reached halfway up her thighs, and black denim shorts.

She stared at you, as she performed the first steps of the choreography she had prepared for that song. Each move was designed to highlight two things primarily: her back and her ass, so they were mostly sequences where she turned her back to you and looked at you over her shoulder, a half smile on her face as she watched your cock awaken again thanks to her hip movements and her hypnotizing twerk.

When the song ended, things didn't end there; another one played immediately. Lights On by Normani, slower and with the vibes that the situation demanded the most. Mina's face changed completely; just a moment ago you noticed her spicy, playful. Now it was the opposite: her face exuded pure lust, and the desire for you to put your hands on her as soon as you had the chance.

She finally approached you when the beat of the song broke, with slow steps and her hands on her back. You didn't really know why she had them there until she stopped between your legs and her top fell to the floor. And after a year and three months, that pair of small, pretty tits were at your mercy.

You reached out to put your hand on her abdomen, but Mina grabbed your wrist to stop you. She then turned around and moved her ass slowly from side to side, lowering herself until she could lean on your knees and then coming back up with a sensual movement that made her ass pass inches from your face. You noticed how she put her hands on her shorts, which without turning around, and without stopping her subtle movement of her hips, she slowly pulled down her legs with her body bent forward. Now that delicious ass, round and perfect, was also uncovered in front of you, adorned by a cute light blue thong.

As if she were reading your mind, she went straight down to sit on top of your already hard cock, which was crushed between her two buttocks in such a sublime way that it made you moan. You noticed a small, hard bulge between her buttocks, but before you could ask, Mina had pulled back, wrapped an arm around your neck, and started grinding her ass to the beat of the music against your shaft.

She brought her face close to your ear. Her hot breath sent shivers down your spine. You brought your hands to her waist, then slowly moved up to her tits to rub her nipples with your fingers. Mina let out a small moan, and bit your earlobe.

"Yeah baby... touch me," she panted against your ear, now moving her ass in slow circles, kneading your cock between her buttocks. "Feel your girl... show how much you missed doing that."

Turning your face to look at her, you were met with her lips, which merged with yours in a heated kiss filled with moans from both sides. Your hands kneaded her tits for a second, then moved back down her belly to reach her thighs, which you caressed up and down to her knees and back up. Your right hand went to her pussy to rub it over the soft fabric, and your left arm wrapped around the front of her abdomen to press her against you.

Mina, not happy with feeling your fingers only over a piece of fabric, lifted her hips and desperately pulled her panties off. Perhaps she breaked the dynamic a bit, but you were grateful for it, as now you could not only feel her buttocks, but also a bit of her wet pussy every time she moved her hips in the right way.

This, on the other hand, also made you confirm your initial suspicions. The hard bulge you felt a second ago turned out to be nothing but a butt plug, you could feel the cold metal every few seconds. But you didn't say anything for now, focused on rubbing between Mina's soft wet folds, her little bush rubbing against your palm.

The moment was too fucking hot for you, and you were about to lift her hips and take your cock inside her until the song finally stopped. As a result, she stopped moving as well. She broke the kiss, and looked into your eyes between heavy panting breaths. Just then another song started playing, Womanizer by Britney Spears. You knew exactly who was next.

"The show isn't over, baby," she murmured against your lips. "You enjoy it and leave the rest to me."

"Oi! Nani ga okiterun da?! Nande ore wo koko ni tsurete kita n da?!" Rizuri shrieked to your right. You had forgotten about the poor bastard's presence.

"Damare!" Mina shrieked back, not too pleased with his presence. "Koko ni irareru dake demo kansha shiro. Mou sugu omae no nozomi ga kanau!"

You didn't know what the hell she had said to him, but judging by his silence, you assumed it was something convincing enough to keep his mouth shut.

But soon you didn't have to pay attention to him anymore. Sana appeared from the right, with quick steps that matched the rhythm of the song. It looked like something similar to the first part of Mina's performance: a sexy and playful choreography to highlight her beauty and features. But she didn't just highlight that, but also her magnificent dancing skills, which were downright impressive.

Of course she also had you salivating in a matter of seconds. Just like Mina, Sana had made a complete outfit change: she now sported an olive green outfit that consisted of a semi-transparent long-sleeved top, and a short, tight skirt low enough at the waist to show off that delicious belly. On the other hand, she was wearing high boots in a lighter shade of green, which highlighted her beautiful legs.

Mina had gotten off you to sit at your left, her body pressed against your side and a thigh above yours, and while Sana left you stunned with those sequences full of sharp, fast and sexy movements, she spit on her hand and brought it straight to your cock to rub it slowly up and down. She also buried her face in your neck to fill it with kisses and subtle licks.

You moaned and put your arms on the low back of the couch, forcing yourself to focus your gaze on Sana, who was also staring at you while doing a sequence on the floor in which you could see under her skirt. She wasn't wearing anything underneath, so you had a quick glimpse of her pussy until she stood up again.

After a few seconds Sana pulled an astonishing movement out of her sleeve and took off one of the two tops she was wearing, the semi-transparent one, leaving her only in the tight one she was wearing underneath. When the song ended you thought she would go into the next part like that, but she then also took off that top, now being naked from the waist up.

In sequence came the next song: Let Me Love You, another Ariana Grande song. Sana followed Mina's trend and transformed into another whole person, but in her the change was more noticeable, especially in her gaze, now predatory and thirsty. Kinda scary if you had to be honest.

She walked slowly towards you, while Mina continued to move her hand steadily along your cock and rubbed your thighs together. When Sana was between your legs, the first thing she did was bring her fingers to your lips to rub them, the other hand on one of her breasts and her hips moving to the slow beat of the music. She put two of those fingers inside your mouth, and you gladly sucked them, reaching out one hand to place it on her waist. You put the other around Mina's body, to squeeze one of her buttocks and caress her waist.

Within seconds, Sana pulled her fingers out of your mouth and let you grope her tits with your hand as she grabbed the hem of her miniskirt and pulled it up very slowly. When you were about to see her pussy, she turned around, and finished pulling up her miniskirt with her back arched and her ass pushed towards you, so that you could see that magnificent piece of meat just inches away.

It didn't surprise you that she was also wearing a butt plug, a shiny purple one.

Opportunely, Mina moved her hand a little faster on your cock, now littering the side of your face with kisses. You reached between her buttocks with your hand and rubbed her pussy, your fingers now soaked by her wet folds. She moaned in your ear, and in one subtle movement she settled herself down with her legs spread out on the couch and the side of her upper body on top of your thigh. This way she could grab your cock, spit on it, and take it straight to her mouth.

You moaned as you felt Mina's warm mouth halfway down your shaft, and Sana turned over her shoulder to watch the scene with a lewd little smirk. She brought her hands to her own buttocks to squeeze them, urging you to grab them yourself. You didn't hesitate to do so, and then she took a couple of steps back, her ass now so close to your face that all you had to do was...

Sana buried your face in her ass, right between her buttocks. She had stolen your idea.

The anal plug blocked your access to her butt hole, but you didn't care; it wasn't your main objective. You squeezed both of her buttocks and separated them, to go down to her pussy and give her a long lick from bottom to top. Sana moaned, and remembering that she was supposed to be dancing, she ground her ass against your face, both hands gripping your head.

Mina on the other hand was in a completely different focus. She pumped her head up and down, slurping on your cock in a slow, sensual blowjob that had you moaning against Sana's pussy. You kept moving your fingers between her folds, but since you wanted to reward her for such a delicious head, you brought those two fingers inside her pussy, making her moan around your shaft.

The song ended without you realizing it, and Sana was forced to move her ass away from your face. When you looked up at her she had already turned around, to grab your face with both hands and crash her lips against yours. You kissed during those seconds of silence, with nothing but Mina's moans around your cock as you fingered her.

"You eat pussy so fucking well, you know that?" Sana murmured against your lips, biting the bottom one. “I see why Mina-sama fell in love with you.”

The lights went out for a second, and came back on a moment later as another song started. Call Out My Name by The Weeknd. It was the boss lady’s turn to take the stage.

Sana started to shower the right side of your face with kisses and sat down next to you, quickly taking off her boots, not an easy task given the amount of laces they had. But she was skilled at the task, and as soon as she could, she kicked off the boots and adopted the same position as Mina to grab that side of your cock, showering kisses on every area Mina didn't cover with her mouth.

Momo made her appearance a few seconds later, on the right side of the room. She looked stupidly hot in the outfit she was wearing, which consisted only of a short, strapless red dress and a pair of long red lace gloves. She walked straight to the pole in front of you, and as she watched Sana and Mina suck your cock, she let out a little smile and began her act.

The first few seconds of the performance were on the floor, using the pole for every move. She was still as magnificent at it as you remembered, and even better. You didn't doubt that she had been practicing non-stop all this time, because the damn woman seemed to be one with that thing.

She stared into your eyes every moment, and you forced yourself to hold her gaze amidst the moans that Sana and Mina, who turned out to be a great duo, drew from you. Now it was Sana who had you inside her mouth, also with slow and sensual pumps, while Mina salivated on your balls and kissed your lower abdomen.

Sana seemed to be the only one who remembered Rizuri's existence; the poor man remained completely still and confused, not knowing what to do or say. Luckily for him, Sana's feet were quite close. She only had to spread her legs a little, to be able to reach Rizuri's cock and caress it with the sole of her foot. Rizuri was slightly startled, but calmed down and sighed as soon as Sana's feet began to do their work.

A little over halfway through the song, Momo stopped to step aside and put her hands behind her back. The cute red dress fell to the floor a second later. What was underneath—or rather, what wasn't—made you question all the sexy things you'd ever seen in your life. Her pair of melons were free, round and perfect. But underneath she was wearing a piece of red crotchless lingerie, which perfectly showed off her little bush.

Momo then resumed the show, but this time she finally got on the pole to begin her routine.

Getting to see her pole dance naked was something that only existed within your deepest fantasies, and boy was it exactly how you expected it to be. That pair of wonderful tits bouncing, hanging and squeezing against the pole felt like a hypnosis method that your mind was unable to resist. If that wasn't enough, the lingerie piece showed way too much from behind, so her round, toned ass was also exposed and free for your delight.

Sana and Mina each now took a side of your shaft to lick and suck, until they moved up and their tongues met at your tip. You pumped your fingers faster in and out of Mina's pussy, and with your other hand you soon reached Sana's as well to finger it. Mina let out a louder moan and took your cock down her throat, holding it there for a few seconds and pulling it out for Sana to continue sucking.

Rizuri's moans had joined yours. Sana had made him hard in a matter of seconds. Now her feet were moving up and down his cock, at the steadiest pace she could between her moans and her pumps.

The song ended, but no other followed. The office fell into partial silence, accompanied by the sounds of sucking, fingers going in and out of wet flesh, and moans. Momo got off the pole in one deft move, and you noticed in her eyes that she had enough of the show.

She walked with quick steps towards you and dropped to her knees on the floor between your legs. You held each other's gaze, as she brought her lace-covered hands to your knees to caress them up and down, passing over your thighs as well. Her eyes then dropped to your cock, which Mina and Sana were still having a juicy feast on.

"Enjoying yourself so far, darling?" she asked, and brought a hand to your balls to fondle them gently. You were unable to formulate a response. "I know you are... but now you must feed us."

Momo removed her hand from your balls and leaned forward, planting her tongue on the back of your cock and teaming up with Sana and Mina to slowly drive you down into complete madness. You couldn't do anything but close your eyes and let your head fall back, moving both of your wrists as fast as you could to get more and more moans out of Sana and Mina.

Mina exploded into moans and spasms a few seconds later, pushing her ass against your fingers, which left Momo and Sana with a clear path to have your cock for themselves. It was Momo who was quick-witted and took you inside her mouth, and unlike the other two, she was like a hungry monster and gave you a sloppy, messy blowjob for the entire time she had you.

Sana fell victim to your fingering not long after. Her orgasm, however, was more frenzied than Mina's, since she had been teased for a while longer and must have felt close to exploding for an hour. The only one affected by this was Rizuri. She couldn't concentrate on continuing to move her feet, so for a few long seconds he was left without receiving any kind of pleasure.

When Sana's orgasm had passed, the three of them were back on your cock. A hand—you didn't know whose it was—wrapped around you and moved quickly up and down, while the three tongues and pairs of lips swirled and kissed near your tip. Another hand also went to your balls to keep them tight.

Opening your eyes and looking down you found that the hand stroking you was Momo's, and the hand on your balls was Mina's. If you hadn't been looking at anything you might have lasted a few seconds longer, but the lewd image, coupled with the hot naked bodies of the three on stage, made you explode immediately.

You let out a loud moan as you felt your thick streams of cum shoot up and then spill out the sides of your cock. Momo, Sana, and Mina made sure to catch and swallow every drop possible from their respective sides, but several of those drops had splashed onto their faces, so all three had either smeared cheeks or noses.

When the cum stopped pouring out of your cock, the three of them finally separated so you could see their faces. Momo had a couple of drops running down her forehead; Sana had one from her upper lip, and Mina had one from her cheek. The three of them looked at each other, and in a stupidly hot act they began cleaning each other up, using only their tongues to do so.

Mina and Sana finally sat up. Sana hugged your side and planted a kiss on your neck.

"Your cock is fucking delicious... fuck," she gasped. "And on top of that your cum is thick and hot... don't you want to plant a load like that inside me?"

"I'm sorry to say you'll have to wait, darling," Mina said from your left. "If I don't get him first I'll kill you both."

"But I'm sure he'll want a little break, won't he?" Momo asked with a smirk. "He came too fucking much, and he's been staring at my tits this whole time."

"Because I need them in my mouth as soon as possible," you replied between gasps. "Come fucking here."

"Fuck yeah daddy," she said, and stood up to straddle you, her thighs pressed tightly on either side of your hips.

Now with Momo's tits in front of your face it was your turn to feast. You wrapped one arm around her waist, pressed her against you and took one of those juicy melons into your mouth, followed by a satisfied moan. Momo wrapped both hands around your head and let out a moan as well, but soon sought out Mina's lips, who had knelt up to grope her all over.

Out of the corner of your eye you noticed that Sana had gone to Rizuri. She was murmuring things to him in Japanese, one hand moving slowly up and down his cock. But it seemed the man wasn't in his strongest mental state, because judging by the way he squirmed, you deduced that he had cum way too early.

"Oh my god!" you heard her complain, annoyed. "He didn't even last a minute! Tsugi wa motto nagaku motasero yo, baka!"

You clearly didn't understand, but she didn't sound happy, so it was most likely a threat.

"H-Hai! Hai!" Rizuri replied, embarrassed. "Gomen, mou shinai!"

"You fucking better!" Sana turned to you. "Momo-sama! Where are the condoms?"

Momo didn't know. You were forced to pull her nipple out of your mouth to answer her.

"Takashi left them outside the door, go see," you replied, and continued to eat and massage Momo's perfect tits.

Mina's job had been to grope Momo's ass and rub her pussy, while their lips danced in a fiery, sloppy kiss. But after a minute she used her right hand to grab your cock and stroke it, with the other behind Momo, teasing with a finger inside her pussy.

Your cock came back to life within seconds inside her hand, and then you pulled away from Momo's tits to look at Mina.

"Ready to ride daddy's cock again, my love?" you asked, and leaned in to kiss her.

"Mmm yeah," she moaned against your lips, and pulled back to look at Momo. "Get out of the way right now, woman."

“Let’s go to the floor,” Momo panted, and gestured to the mat that covered the entire space. “I remind you that we no longer have the couch to ourselves.”

To your right Sana had already returned with Rizuri. She was lying on the couch, her feet close to you, giving the man a blowjob while lazily fingering her pussy. On the table was an open box of condoms; one was missing. The torn envelope was on the floor, and you quickly deduced that Rizuri was wearing it. Good.

You pushed Momo off you and stood up. The coffee table took up more space than you would have liked, so you took a moment to move it to the corner of the mat. There was now a large free space that you didn’t hesitate to lay down on, the soft velvet serving as a perfect bedspread.

Mina climbed off the couch and immediately went to straddle your abdomen. She leaned forward and cupped your face in her hands to kiss you. You wrapped your arms around her slim body, then brought your hands up to her ass to squeeze it hard. Her pussy was rubbing against your shaft, and you couldn't take another minute without being in there, so you grabbed your cock, rubbed it between her folds, and pressed it against her entrance to get her hips to lower.

"Mmmgh!" she moaned against your lips; she bit the bottom one a little harder than you expected. "Fuck yeah..."

Your cock pushed through her folds easily, due to how wet she already was and how slippery your cock was. You hadn't noticed it until now, but not being able to be inside her for all that time had given you severe withdrawal symptoms that were relieved when you were buried all the way in.

Mina began to move her hips up and down, slow and nice, her hands resting on your chest. Your cock slid smoothly, all the way in and out with each movement.

“God… I missed you so much, baby,” she moaned against your lips, and grabbed your face again to pepper it with kisses. “You’re as fucking big as I remember.”

“And you as tight, honey,” you panted, your hands on her waist.

She let out a moan against your cheek and moved down to your chin to bite it. Her hip movements became faster and more uncontrolled, until she simply planted her feet on the floor and began bouncing up and down on your cock.

“Hey, you two will have time to get intimate later,” you heard Momo say behind your head. “I want my piece of the pie too.”

Mina looked up at Momo and didn't protest, she just straightened her back and rested her hands on your lower abdomen to continue bouncing on your cock. But then your vision was obstructed by a beautiful wet pussy just inches above your face, which then lowered until it was pressed against your mouth. Momo had squatted down, her hands resting on your chest and her ass—which also had an anal plug embedded in it—choking you.

Now you didn't know where to put your hands, so you opted to leave one attached to Momo's thigh and the other on Mina's waist. You ate that piece of tender meat as if your life depended on it—and maybe it did, because that massive ass didn't allow you to breathe properly—with fast and hungry licks that had Momo's nails digging into your chest and trembling between moans.

Mina, on the other hand, was jumping so fast that you feared she might break her own tailbone from all the aggressive slamming against your pelvis. She also had her nails digging into your lower abdomen, but she was careful compared to Momo, whose nails you thought were going to pierce your fucking heart.

The first to cum after a little over a minute and a half was Mina, with a high-pitched scream and a downward thrust that made you moan against Momo's pussy. Mina lowered her knees and pressed her thighs on either side of your hips, slowly fucking herself against your cock through her orgasm.

Momo followed a few seconds later, and like Mina, she lowered her knees to sit completely on your face the moment her body exploded. Now you weren't breathing at all. You brought your hands to Momo's buttocks and squeezed them together before giving one a hard spank. She just ground herself against your face between moans, caring little if you were breathing or not.

A couple seconds later she finally got off your face, her orgasm having passed. You took a deep breath, your chest rising and falling violently. You were sure your face must be red.

“God, I’m sorry baby!” Momo gasped, and leaned over to give you pecks on the cheeks. “I couldn’t control myself.”

“I noticed,” you replied, regulating your breathing. “I’m not done with you two yet. Get on top of each other.”

Mina immediately got off your cock and laid down on her back beside you, legs spread wide. Momo climbed on top of her, thighs on either side of her waist and her melons pressed against Mina's small tits. You stood up to position yourself behind her, to delight in the hot sight of both of their pussies stacked on top of each other.

Momo looked over her shoulder at you with a mischievous little smile, subtly shaking your ass, and that alone was enough to make your choice clear. You put your hand on one of her buttocks, and with the other you took your cock and brought it to her pussy, to push your hips forward and slowly penetrate her.

"Oh fuck!" Momo squealed, and pursed her lips. "Slow, slow! I haven't had anything that big since the last time you were here, mmmgh."

“That flatters me, Hirai,” you smiled, and let out a groan as your cock was halfway inside. “This backshot is still immaculate, I must say.”

You dropped both hands on her waist and gave one last push to get the last few inches of your shaft in. Momo let out a moan and clung to Mina’s shoulders, who placed pecks on the side of her face.

“I’ve been working out,” she moaned, and bit her bottom lip as you began to slowly pump your hips. “Thanks for noticing, sweetheart.”

Momo then gave in to the pleasure and turned her head to meet Mina’s lips. Your slow pumps continued for the next few seconds, as you wanted to admire how your cock disappeared and reappeared from between that pair of pretty ass cheeks. But when your body demanded more you pursed your lips and dropped another hard spank on Momo’s ass. She squealed in the middle of the kiss with Mina, and you grabbed onto her ass to fuck her hard now.

After almost a minute Momo broke away from the kiss with Mina and buried her face in her neck, showering it with kisses and bites, a way to muffle her own moans. Mina's eyes then met yours. Her gaze was pleading, full of wanting you to fuck her that hard too, and you didn't want to make her wait too long, so you let Momo's ass jiggle for a little while until you pulled out of her pussy and moved on to Mina's.

Momo didn't complain. Instead, she cooperated with you and lowered her body a little to suck on Mina's tits, while you pumped rapidly in and out of her tight pussy. Mina became a quivering mess of moans and hugged Momo's head, urging her to continue kissing her tits. You, for your part, were holding onto Mina's thighs; you had them pressed back, so that they were almost intertwined with Momo's.

You fucked Mina for almost the same amount of time as Momo—maybe a little longer—and by the time you switched pussies again you were already completely feral; Momo was the only possible victim of this, as as soon as you were fucking her, you grabbed her hair in a fistful and pulled it back hard, giving her another spank with your free hand. The arch of Momo's back let her tits bounce constantly, and Mina, not wasting any opportunity, took them into her mouth and hugged Momo around the waist.

Half a minute later you returned to Mina's pussy, and fucked it with exactly the same fury and effort. This brought her to a sudden orgasm under Momo's body, who held her by the neck while kissing her. You waited for her orgasm to pass, not slowing down, before you returned inside Momo.

The spanking and hair pulling continued, as did the ass jiggles you constantly caused with your frantic pumping. She soon came too, in a violent whirlwind of spasms and screams through which you fucked her mercilessly.

Soon you felt yourself very close to your peak. You brought your hands to her waist, your fingers clenched there tightly. Momo remained still and relaxed-muscled, making herself look like a piece of meat made only for fucking. You groaned and gritted your teeth, when you then felt the tickle.

You quickly pulled out of Momo's pussy and masturbated as hard and fast as you could, until you exploded in thick jets of cum. The first few drops went down Momo's back, while the vast majority went between her buttocks, spilling between them to go around the butt plug, through her slit, and into Mina's pussy.

Behind you, you heard another loud squeal of pleasure. When you looked over your shoulder, you found that Sana had been watching you all this time with Rizuri's cock in her mouth, and had made herself cum with her own fingers. Her eyes were on you, and just like Mina's had been a moment ago, they were begging you to fuck her.

"Come clean up your bosses, cutie," you ordered between gasps.

Sana obeyed without a word. She pulled Rizuri's cock out of her mouth and climbed down from the couch to join you. She first knelt down beside Momo to lick your cum off her back, and then gently pushed you away to lick the rest of it, from Momo's buttocks to Mina's pussy, leaving every little corner completely clean.

Sana then hugged your arm and pressed her tits against it. She gave you a couple of kisses on the neck.

"It's my turn with you now, sweetheart," Sana murmured. "And don't you even dare refuse."

"I wasn't going to," you replied, and turned your head to kiss her. "But since I need a break, I'm going to eat that pretty pussy of yours first."

You grabbed Sana by the arm and pushed her. She fell onto her back, and you quickly laid face down with your face in front of her pussy. You grabbed her thighs and roughly pressed them back, then planted your mouth there to devour her. Sana squealed and brought a hand to your hair to tangle her fingers in it, arching her back.

“Aw, our poor guest looks helpless,” you heard Momo say. “He deserves some consideration.”

You didn’t see what happened next since you had your eyes closed, focused on devouring and tasting every inch of wet flesh and making those thighs tremble, but the next thing you heard was a moan from Rizuri followed by one from Momo.

When you considered your break over, you pulled away from Sana’s pussy and got on top of her to kiss her. She immediately brought a hand between your bodies and reached for your cock, which she brought back to life with gentle strokes and caresses of your balls. Her legs wrapped around your torso, and then she guided your cock inside herself.

"Mmmgh, fucking finally!" she sensually moaned against your lips, and arched her back as your cock was engulfed between her folds. "It feels so big... and so fucking thick, fuck... fuck!"

Sana's pussy was a fucking wonder; it was warm, almost as tight as Mina's and wet like no other. Your cock soon reached the bottom, and in between kisses and bites to her chin, you began to move your hips in a steady rhythm.

She held you close and dug her nails into your back, hers now straight so that you could kiss her and she could muffle moan after moan against your lips. Her legs clung tighter around your body as well, prompting you to grab her thighs and pump as fast as that position would let you now.

In that little flurry of moans and sweat you remembered Mina. You pulled away from Sana's lips and looked to your left. Mina was watching you two, propped up on one elbow and rubbing her pussy, her brow furrowed in pleasure and her lips parted.

"Go to the couch, sweetheart," you said between gasps. "We'll put Sana's pretty little mouth to work on that pussy of yours."

Mina nodded and stood up on shaky legs, walking over to the couch. You then turned your gaze to Sana and pecked her lips.

"Come on cutie," you forced her to let go of your torso and pulled out of her. "Let's go with Mina-chan; I think she wants some attention too."

You stood up and helped Sana onto all fours. Mina was already sitting on the couch, her legs spread wide near the edge; you positioned Sana with her face between them. Sana then spread her knees, lifted her ass and arched her back for you, before planting her mouth on Mina's pussy to eat it out.

Now you could finally see what was going on between Momo and Rizuri. She was on top of him, her back to him, her feet planted on the sides of his thighs as she rapidly rose and fell on his cock. She must have been in a very good mood, because a year ago you would have laughed your head off at the thought of her letting another man fuck her.

However your focus right now wasn't on that, but on Sana's pretty ass presented to you, her pussy ready for you to destroy.

You grabbed your cock and with one hand on Sana's lower back you went back inside her. She moaned against Mina's pussy, who had her hand on Sana's head, her fingers caressing and tangling in her brown strands. Sana held onto Mina's thighs, her moans increasing in volume as you moved on to hammering her pussy as hard as you could.

"That's it darling..." Mina moaned, watching Sana eat her pussy. The hold she had on her hair looked tight and painful. "Be a good girl and make your boss cum!"

Sana could only nod between uncontrolled moans, being roughly shaken by your frantic pumping in and out of her pussy. You couldn't pull her hair because that would interrupt Mina's pleasure, so you opted to simply squeeze her ass cheeks hard and treat her like a living fleshlight.

She came a few moments later, and with the vibrations of her moans Mina came as well. Both of them exploded into violent contractions, Mina with her thighs now around Sana's head, and Sana holding onto those thighs as the only possible point of grip as you fucked her through her orgasm.

To your left you heard Rizuri moan louder than usual. You turned to find Momo now riding him from the front, her arms around his head. Momo seemed glad that he had come, but she didn't look satisfied at all. You could tell she needed a lot more than that.

You pulled out of Sana's pussy a few seconds later, her thighs still shaking. Mina released her head from between her thighs, her breathing ragged as she looked at you and then at her.

"You sure know how to use that pretty little mouth huh?" Mina asked, brushing Sana's hair out of her face before caressing her cheek with her thumb.

"I like being a good girl and always doing my best," Sana replied, moving on to give Mina pecks on her thighs.

You sat back on your heels and rested your hands on your thighs. Shortly after, you saw Momo get up from the couch out of the corner of your eye. She stood behind you and grabbed your chin to tilt your head back and make you look up at her.

"Hey, pretty boy," she smiled, and caressed your cheek with her thumb. "You wanna fuck my ass? You must miss it."

"For sure I fucking do," you replied, and pointed at Rizuri with your finger. "You gonna put him to work?"

Momo looked at him, and when she looked back at you, she shrugged.

"I've always wanted to know what it feels like to have two cocks fucking me in two different holes, so why not?"

"Where do you keep the lube?"

"Not me; Mina," she looked at the desk. "Search in the top drawer."

You turned to look at Mina. Sana had climbed onto the couch with her, both of them resting snuggled up against each other. Who knew that up until an hour ago you thought they'd end up hating each other.

"Can I?" you asked.

"Why are you asking if you'll do it anyway?" she replied.

You shrugged and stood up.

"I feel like if I didn't you'd yell at me."

"I would never yell at you!" she yelled at you, as you walked to her desk. You couldn't help but laugh.

When you got to the desk you opened the drawer and the first thing you saw was the little black bottle, it wasn't completely full, and you smiled at the thought of Mina having her little moments of fun when she was alone in the office.

You grabbed the bottle, closed the drawer and went back to the center of the office. Momo was already lying on her side on the mat, Rizuri next to her with a new condom already on. He was on his knees, apparently ready for whatever was coming. The only missing piece was you.

You laid down next to Momo, who had her back to you. You stayed propped up on one elbow, and brought your hand between her buttocks to grab the anal plug.

"Ready?" you asked, and gave her a little kiss on the shoulder.

She turned her head to look at you.

"To take a big cock in my ass? Always."

You smiled and proceeded to pull the anal plug out carefully. Momo moaned, one hand on her own thigh. With the path now clear you grabbed the lube, opened it and poured it onto your two fingers and brought them straight inside her butthole, stretching it as much as possible. Within seconds you pulled them out.

“And now?” she asked, already panting.

“You ride me,” you replied, lying on your back as you poured lube now onto your cock. “In reverse so our little friend can get his share of the action.”

Momo complied and mounted you facing Rizuri, both feet planted on the sides of your hips and her hands on your thighs. Your cock was already lubed and ready, so you just grabbed it, rubbed it between her ass cheeks and lined it up with her butthole so she only had to lower her hips and slowly impale herself.

“Oh my fucking god…” she muttered, as your cock was engulfed inch by inch by her ass; when it was halfway in, it only took one smooth movement to get it all the way in. “Fuck!!”

With your cock already buried inside her, Momo dropped down to rest half her back on your chest and spread her legs, placing them behind yours. She gave a quick instruction to Rizuri in Japanese, and he moved over to position himself between your legs and hers. All Momo had to do was grab Rizuri’s cock and take it inside her pussy.

“Mmmgh fuck!” Momo squealed, supporting herself with her hands on the floor. “Fucking use me!”

You and Rizuri began pumping in and out. You weren't exactly being coordinated; Rizuri was going fast from the start, focused on his own pleasure. But you made sure Momo felt every single upward thrust with every fiber of her body. This ultimately resulted in her going crazy with pleasure in no time.

"Girls, come over here and serve the boss," you said to Sana and Mina, who you didn't have in your line of vision but you knew were waiting expectantly. "Do whatever you want with her."

You placed your hands on Momo's waist and slowly matched Rizuri's pace, hard thrusts making your pelvis bump against her big ass. Sana and Mina came within seconds, one on your left and one on your right, respectively. Mina immediately kissed Momo and groped one of her breasts, while Sana brought the other to her mouth, one hand caressing the inside of her thigh.

"Slap her tits," you panted to the girls. "I'm sure that'll drive her crazy."

"Oh yeah?" Sana asked, her tone seductive, then squeezed one of Momo's breasts and gave it a sharp slap. Momo squealed. "Does the boss like that?"

"Of course she does," Mina replied, and slapped the other breast harder. "The boss is a little slut who loves having her tits played with."

Mina and Sana each sank down on the side of Momo's neck to shower it with less than gentle kisses and bites. The slaps on her tits continued, getting more frequent and harder. Momo just squealed with each one, almost screaming.

"See?" Mina said against Momo's cheek. "I bet she loves that... doesn't she?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!!" Momo nodded between moans. Sana rewarded her with two quick, hard slaps to her breast. "I love how you fucking play with my big tits, keep going! Fuck!"

Mina smiled and took Momo's nipple between her index finger and thumb to pinch and flick it. She then gave her another slap, the hardest one yet, which made Momo scream. You and Rizuri were still focused on your task, you hammering her ass and him her pussy. Between all these pleasure inputs Momo was quick to explode.

"Mmmgh yeahhh!!" Momo dropped back against your chest, and you reached around her torso to slowly fuck her through her orgasm. "So good, fuck!!"

Mina and Sana apparently hadn't had enough fun, because while Momo was still writhing in pleasure on top of you, they kept pinching her nipples and giving her tits painful slaps. Rizuri had been considerate enough to slow down as well, until Momo's orgasm finally passed.

Momo put a hand on Rizuri's abdomen and pushed him out of her. She then raised her hips so you pulled out of her and dropped to your side. When you turned to look at her, you found that her tits looked like two tomatoes. 

God damn, Sana and Mina had been hard.

"Stay exactly where you are," Sana said, adopting the same position as Momo on top of you. You noticed that she had already removed the anal plug. "Because now it's my turn."

Neither of you objected. You repeated the same process as with Momo, and when Sana's ass was nice and lubed up and ready, you had her fully impale herself on your cock.

"Mmmgh fuck, that thing feels even better inside my ass," she moaned, fully lying on your chest and holding onto your head. "Momo-sama, would you put our guest's cock inside me?"

Momo was more dead than alive, but she somehow managed to gather the strength to sit up and take Rizuri's cock and guide it into Sana's pussy. By this point you weren't much more energized than Momo, but Sana's ass felt too fucking tight to come down on.

You and Rizuri began pumping fast and hard from the start, and Sana's squeals blossomed one after another. She turned her head to find your lips and kiss them, one hand tangled in your hair and the other on the floor. You gave her body a quick run with your hands until you found her legs, which you grabbed behind the knees to press them towards you.

This time you didn't have to give the order for Mina to get into action. She and Momo knew exactly what to do from the start. Mina leaned down to kiss her abdomen, one hand circling Sana's clit. Momo, meanwhile, returned the favor to Sana and began to suck on her tits.

But then you heard a slap; something dry hitting wet flesh, followed by a squeal that made Sana pull away from your lips.

"Mmm, what do we have here," you heard Momo say with a giggle. "The little whore likes her pussy slapped."

"I-I didn't..." another slap to her pussy, quick and dry, another squeal. "Mmmmgh!!"

You smiled at the discovery made by Momo, and pressed Sana's thighs hard against her own torso, now fucking her ass as fast and hard as you could. Rizuri matched your pace, quite impressive considering his hands were tied behind his back and his eyes were blindfolded; his pelvis was slamming into Sana's crotch as hard as yours was slamming into her ass.

Just like the slaps to Momo's tits, the slaps to Sana's pussy fell one after another like a meteor shower; each one made Sana shudder and squeal, and soon the moans turned into whimpers accompanied by tears of pleasure.

"Look at the little fucking slut..." Mina said, and let out an evil giggle. "So fucking slutty. You like that, whore?" she gave her a hard slap and then frantically rubbed her clit. "Huh?"

"Yes, Mina-sama!!" Sana squealed, her fingers clenching in your hair. "I fucking love it!"

"Who's our little whore? Huh?" Momo asked. "Who's our little sex doll?"

"Me! Me! I fucking am, me!!" she whimpered in response. "Ahhhh!!!"

Sana suddenly exploded, and the orgasm came with a little surprise, as while she writhed in pleasure like a cute rag doll, intense jets of squirt came out of her pussy, staining Rizuri's entire torso.

You heard Momo gasp in surprise.

"She even knows how to squirt!" she said. "You're quite the fucking treasure huh?"

Mina didn't say anything, she simply leaned down to put her face in front of Sana's pussy and lick it, collecting as many squirt jets as she could. Sana continued to writhe on top of you; her thighs trembled beneath your fingers.

“Kuso… hontōni sugoi,” Sana moaned under her breath, weak-eyed and sweat-stained. She turned kissed you again. “You’re fucking wonderful, honey.”

“Just like you…” you panted against her lips. “I truly am a very lucky bastard.”

“Don’t even mention it,” she smirked, and like Momo, made you both get out of her so she could climb down and lay down on your side. She looked at Mina. “Boss, there’s only you left.”

“Don’t even think about it,” she refused immediately. “My pussy is reserved solely and exclusively for him.”

“But not your ass huh?” Momo chimed in with a giggle. “Come on, Mina-chan, just this once.”

Mina frowned and glared at her.

"Hirai Momo, you owe me big time after all this," she threatened, with a finger in the air. "And it won't happen again!"

"Yeah yeah, whatever you say, love," Momo nodded disinterestedly. "Now ride him and finish them off."

Mina huffed in annoyance and pulled out the light blue anal plug herself, then straddled you. In comparison to Momo and Sana, she was facing you, her back to Rizuri. Her thighs adjusted to your hips, and she placed her hands on your chest. Sana meanwhile was lubing up Rizuri's cock, then did the same to Mina's ass.

"You're gonna put that hot fucking load all the way inside my pussy, you understand me?" she asked you, giving you affectionate pecks on the lips. She then turned to look at Rizuri with a frown. "Eh! Omae mo ki wo tsukero, samonaito korosu zo!"

Another threat, surely. How fucking scary. If you were Rizuri you would be shitting yourself alive if Mina had spoken to you in that tone and in her language.

You grabbed your cock and took it straight into her pussy, Mina moaned and lowered her hips, impaling herself as deep as possible. Momo then helped Rizuri, taking his cock and guiding it into Mina's ass. It was a bit of a difficult process, as Mina kept insulting him in Japanese for not doing the job the way she wanted, but eventually both cocks were buried deep in both holes, and soon they were going in and out.

Even though Mina's pride weighed more than two cargo ships together, she was quick to let go and show that she was enjoying it as much as Momo or Sana. You wrapped your arms around her body, one arm around her lower waist and the other around her back. You held her tight against you, and she kissed you, as you pumped faster and faster.

Momo and Sana didn't have much to do; just one thing. A few seconds of moaning sounds and flesh crashing against flesh passed, until you heard flesh being spanked. Mina squealed and turned to see the two of them on their knees on either side of her ass, both peppering each butt cheek with kisses.

"What? Are you going to say you don't like that, boss?" Sana asked with a giggle, and gave her another spank that made her squirm.

"She's so haughty that she'll never admit that she loves it, but I can tell you she does," Momo replied, as you watched her bite one of her butt cheeks and then spank it.

Momo was right: Mina was enjoying every single second of it, you could see it in her eyes and the tone of her cheeks, and the way her nails dug into your chest as she moaned louder and louder. Her neck was accessible to you, and you didn't hesitate to kiss it while caressing her back and waist.

"Harder, fuck!!" Mina shrieked. "Don't be weak bitches and spank that ass properly!!"

Momo and Sana took it as a challenge, because the spanks started to fall one after another, each one harder and more violent than the last. The interval between spanks became shorter, until they sounded like a small round of applause. Mina couldn't find anything to hold on to to scream, so she opted for the easy way of cupping your face and kissing you to muffle the shrieks against your lips.

"That hard is fine, you arrogant fucking whore?" you heard Momo say.

"Yeah, just like that, you stupid fucking bitch!!" Mina yelled, clinging to your neck. "And you better not stop unless you want a punch in your stupid face!"

Again, fucking scary.

It wasn't surprising to you that Rizuri was the first to cum. The man gave his last few thrusts until with a loud moan he pushed in as he drained himself. After a few seconds he just pulled out of Mina and let himself fall back, the condom on his cock filled with cum.

That left you alone. But not entirely, because Sana made up for the lack of Rizuri's cock with her own fingers. You weren't sure you saw right, but you swore you saw her use three fingers. This brought Mina quickly to her orgasm, which came in a tidal wave of spasms and screams into the air.

Mina's pussy clenched hard around your cock, and you were close too, so you kept fucking her through her orgasm without slowing down. It wasn't long until you joined her and exploded with an upward thrust, unloading all your seed inside her warm pussy.

"Oh yes baby yes!!" Mina moaned sensually, and she went on to do the work, moving her hips up and down as you shot spurt after spurt inside her walls. "Fill me up, fuck... Fucking missed this feeling."

Your lips met again, this time in a kiss filled with passion and adorable little moans from her. Mina caressed your hair and cheeks, and you just held her between your arms.

"Fuck, they're being cheesy again," you heard Momo say.

"Do they like each other or...?" Sana said.

"Shut up both of you!" Mina snapped, then pointed at Rizuri, who was lying on his side on the floor. "Now get him out of here!"

While Sana and Momo were busy getting Rizuri to stand up and get dressed, you and Mina continued kissing until your cock came out of her pussy, so all your cum could come out. Neither Sana nor Momo bothered to clean it up since they were doing a harder job, so you two had to find a towel to clean up yourselves.

When you finished, Mina intertwined her hand with yours and led you to the couch. She made you lie down, so she could lie between you and the backrest, her body pressed against your side. You put your left arm around her, the other hand on your chest. You both watched as Momo and Sana took Rizuri out of the office with his hands now free.

"And there goes the poor bastard," Momo said with a smile, walking over to you. She sat down at your feet.

"He's not poor at all," Sana said, sitting on Momo's lap with complete confidence. Momo put her arms around her and looked at her with shining eyes. How curious. "He got to fuck the three hottest Japanese girls in the entire country."

"Yeah, but he didn't know," Mina laughed. "He only knows that he fucked three Japanese women; he doesn't know what kind."

"I don't think he cares either," you laughed as well. "He came out of here pretty drained."

"Hey, get some rest and get dressed," Momo said. "We're going to the apartment," she then looked at Sana, caressing her lower back. "Do you have something to do, sweetheart?"

"Not really, why?" she asked, and cocked her head. "Are you inviting me to spend the night with you, Momo-sama?"

Momo shrugged.

"If you want, of course."

"Of course I do," she smiled.

Sana then grabbed Momo by the chin and leaned over to give her a small kiss. She then stood up with a smirk and started to get her clothes. Momo stared at her, and you and Mina looked at each other with a frown. Suspicious to say the least.

After Sana, Momo was the next to stand up to go get her clothes and get dressed. Mina and you were in no hurry; you were exhausted, and she was more of the same. You spent at least another five minutes just lying there cuddled up against each other, feeling nothing but each other's breathing.

"Cuties, sorry to break the mood but it's getting late and I want to take a shower," Momo said, already dressed in her previous outfit, the one from before the show.

"I have to go get my stuff from the hotel and cancel the nights I already had paid for," you said, and after giving Mina a peck on the forehead, you stood up with a sigh.

"Do you want me to pay for the taxi?" Momo asked.

Sana appeared as well, dressed in part of her performance outfit and Mina's coat over her to cover herself.

"I'll do it," Mina said, also standing up. "I'll go with him and we'll meet you at the apartment."

"Honey, there's no need..." you tried to protest, but she raised a finger at you.

"I didn't ask you, it's mandatory."

You shrugged and gave in. You searched for your clothes, which were scattered around the carpet, and as you got dressed you made sure you had all your things in order. Mina had gone into the room to get dressed; she came out a few minutes later, wearing the outfit she was wearing when you met up earlier.

"Ready then?" Momo asked, fixing her hair.

"Yeah, let's get out of here," Mina nodded. "I'll tell Takashi-kun to close the club and send the girls home safely."

Mina got on the phone for a minute, and then she motioned for you to leave. You followed Momo and Sana, but waited for her under the door frame until she caught up to you and linked her arm with yours.

As you walked out of the club Momo walked hand in hand with Sana to a sedan parked on the side of the road. A black chrome Mazda 3. She unlocked the doors with the remote and opened the passenger door for Sana to get in.

"Come on, get in," Momo nodded at you. "I'll take you to the hotel and then I'll head to the apartment."

"Sounds good," you nodded, and went to open the back door for Mina to get in. You followed her.

Momo got you to the hotel in a matter of about ten minutes, and even though you tried to tell her that you didn't think it would take long and that she could wait for you, she ignored you and just drove off with Sana to the apartment. You and Mina agreed that those two were really into each other.

Mina walked you to your room and helped you gather your things to put in your suitcase, then went to the lobby to cancel the nights you had booked. For some reason the hotel didn't do refunds, and Mina nearly jumped over the counter to beat the hell out of the receptionist. But you just put your arm around her waist and pulled her out of the lobby amid Japanese insults.

Outside, Mina took charge of ordering the taxi, which arrived in less than five minutes ready to take you to your destination. After about ten minutes you finally arrived at the street of the building, near the parliament and also the Danube river, which was only a couple of blocks away.

It was a beautiful street, full of small shops and tall, thin trees, with small, sparse leaves that allowed you to see the windows and balconies. The buildings, all at least five stories high and built of light stone, stood imposing and elegant, with classic ornamental facades in the purest European style.

Mina led you inside one of them, which was exclusively residential. You climbed the stairs to the fourth floor, and walked through a wide hallway until you reached the last door. She first opened the outer gate, then the varnished wooden door that led you inside.

"Welcome to my new home, darling," Mina said behind you as she closed the door.

This apartment was a clear example of all the hard work the girls had put in over the past year or so. It was simply gorgeous, modern and cozy, very much the style of the two of them. The aesthetic was minimalist, yet sophisticated and elegant, with a shiny marble floor and white walls, which were complemented by the warm brown tones of the furniture.

You passed through the doorway on the left of the small lobby you were in, which led you to the wide open hallway with the dining table on the left wall; it was made of a shiny, polished wood, which reflected the dim light from the hanging lamps. Just to the right was the kitchen, perfectly integrated into the space thanks to the shiny wood finish of the cabinets, the long black countertop and the built-in appliances.

But after taking a few more steps you were in the main attraction of the apartment. The living room featured brown leather furniture: a large sofa at the back and two individual armchairs, arranged on a fluffy light gray rug. The ceiling was double-height, with a recessed lighting rectangle built in, and the large window at the back, covered by white curtains, completed a more than perfect, comfortable space.

"Honey, this is gorgeous," you said, hands clasped behind your back, admiring the abstract paintings on the walls. Then you turned to look at her. She was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, and looking at you with a smirk. "I'm proud of you, really."

Mina smiled from ear to ear and walked over to you to wrap her arms around your neck. She pecked you on the lips and looked into your eyes. You put your hands on her waist.

"Thanks, baby," she said in a cute tone of voice. "It was fucking hard to haggle with the owner, but it was worth it."

You laughed and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"I never thought you'd end up being Jordan Belfort."

She laughed, and you were dazzled by that beautiful gummy smile.

"But I don't launder money," she pointed out. "Huge difference."

Your reply was cut off by the sound of a door opening behind you. You turned to see Sana and Mina exiting what you could see was a bedroom. The comfortable outfits they got on consisted of shorts and a loose hoodie. That led you to deduce that they had already showered. Together, apparently.

“You two sure took a while, didn’t you?” Momo asked with a goofy little grin that she shared with Sana. Those two were up to something until you two arrived, you were sure.

“I got into a little argument with a damn bitch, but it’s okay,” Mina let go of you and walked over to them. “Can I use the bathroom? I could use a shower too.”

“Yeah, go,” Momo stepped away from the door to let Mina through. She then looked at you. "You can use the bathroom in my room if you want, sweetie.”

"And that's...?"

"Over there," she pointed down the hallway behind you. "The door at the very back."

"Got it," you nodded. "I assume this is Mina's room, then?"

"Aha."

"Perfect, I'll leave my suitcase here."

She rolled her eyes as you picked up your suitcase and walked past her into the room.

"Don't you dare deny that you're crazy about that woman, my god."

You left your suitcase inside the room and from inside you took out the clothes you would wear after your shower, listening to the sound of water falling behind the door to your left.

With your things in hand you walked out of the room to find Sana on top of Momo on the wide leather couch. They didn't mind your presence, so you simply ignored them and went where Momo had indicated.

You walked down the hall and into Momo's room, then into her bathroom. The shower you took was a bit intensive as you were exhausted and sticky, and you also needed to relax your muscles with some cold water. When you finished you felt like you were made of clouds, a completely new man.

You walked back into the living room, drying the inside of your ears with the towel, dressed but barefoot. Mina had already come out of the shower, she was sitting on the couch with Sana and Momo, who had moved to the far end so they could be comfortable.

You went to sit next to Mina, who clung to you with her arms and legs like a koala. Her pajamas were some small shorts and a loose black t-shirt. You snuggled her against you.

"What a day, huh?" you asked. "Bloody hell. I feel like an elephant ran over me."

"Tell me about it," Momo replied, now she was the one snuggled up against Sana's chest and arms. "Doing all the paperwork for this place was an ordeal."

"On top of that, the stinky man kept pestering us with cheap compliments and pathetic laughs," Mina added in a dismissive tone, as if she was disgusted by talking about him.

Sana suddenly yawned hilariously loudly. Momo raised her head to look at her with an amused smile.

"Sleepy, sweetie?" she asked.

Sana could only nod. Her face was that of a person who just wanted to hibernate like a marmot, her eyes weak and half-closed.

"Let's go to sleep then," Momo pulled away from her and nodded towards the hallway.

Sana nodded again and stood up, and as she walked towards the hallway she gave the two of you a lazy wave goodbye, too tired to speak.

You and Mina then stared at Momo. She looked back at you, and seeing your judging eyes made her smile fade.

"What?"

"You like her?" Mina asked.

The question immediately made Momo nervous. She let out an awkward giggle.

"Sana? Nah. I'm just being nice."

"I don't know about you, but I don't just cuddle up in the arms of a person I'm just being nice to," Mina attacked again.

"Alright, this conversation is over," she stood up. "Goodnight, darlings."

You shared a smile with Mina, and waited for her to leave before continuing to talk.

"She likes her, right?" you asked.

"Yeah, it's been going on for months, it's just that today they had the chance to be together. And it seems that they have a thing for each other."

"They look cute together, you have to admit," you said, shrugging.

"Yeah, but I've told Momo many times not to get her hopes up too high."

"Why?"

"Because boss-employee relationships don't usually work out all that well most of the time," she then yawned as well. "But anyway, it's between the two of them."

"Time for cuddles in bed and sleep?"

"Fuck, yes please," she sighed.

You stood up and offered Mina your hand. She took it, and together you walked into her room. She was quick to turn on the air conditioning, while you got into bed and under the blanket, then joined you. You immediately pulled her into your arms, and she hugged your chest.

All the accumulated tiredness knocked you out in a matter of minutes.

The next morning felt like a lucid dream. You didn't know what had woken you up first, the rays of sunlight filtering through the white curtains or the pots clanking together and the sound of the sink opening and closing outside.

But none of that was relevant when you woke up with that angel by your side.

Mina was a gift from the gods, you confirmed it when you saw her face illuminated from the side by the morning light. She was an unmatched beauty, worthy of a princess from a fairy tale. Even her voice sounded like that (even when she was angry).

You couldn't find a better way to wake her than with kisses all over her face, as subtle and affectionate as you could. They worked a few seconds later, when she stirred and snuggled up against your chest. Mina then opened one eye, looked at you, and closed it again.

"Nice way to wake me up..." she murmured. "But I don't see why you should stop giving me kisses."

You smiled and gave her more and more kisses, several of them on the lips, until she finally opened both eyes and cupped your face in her hands to kiss you. After a few seconds you pulled away from her lips and pulled her up to your side, wrapping your arms around her.

"I could see that pretty face of yours every day when I wake up and never get tired of it, you know?" you gave her a peck on the nose.

"Oh yeah?" she caressed your cheek with her thumb, looking into your eyes from very close. "That could be arranged."

"Ask me. I know you want to."

She hesitated for a moment, and nibbled on her lower lip nervously.

"Honey, stay, please..." she cupped your face in her gentle hands. "Stay here with me and let's be happy. I..." she looked down. "God, it's been a year and three months where I couldn't get you out of my head, and I can't go through that again."

You thought for a moment about your answer, licking your lips before doing so.

"Honey... you know it's not easy," you said.

"I know it's not easy, fuck," she looked you in the eyes. "But you have us here. We have contacts; we can help you! Hell, you can even bring your parents if you want, I don't care."

"Baby, I need you to relax," you said, noticing that she was getting a little tense for no reason. "My parents aren't a problem."

"But..."

"I do want to stay," you interrupted her, and that lit up her face like a beacon. "But it will take about a month to get all the paperwork done, and in the meantime you two have to help me with the residency and work permit. With the whole UK leaving the European Union thing, things got a bit screwed up."

Mina's only response was to let out an excited squeal and kiss you, kicking your feet so excitedly that they made the bed shake. You laughed and kissed back.

"Are you serious?" she asked. "Aren't you messing with me?"

"I'm serious. But you two have to put in a lot of effort too."

"No problem with that," she waved her hand. "We can employ you as a secretary first and move from there."

"Well, going from accounting director to secretary isn't something I was planning on but I'm in."

Mina's face changed. She frowned.

"Wait a minute, are you an accountant?"

"Uh... yes?"

"You'll be our accountant!" she announced, as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. "Holy crap... thank goodness."

"Wait, you didn't have an accountant?"

"No! Can you believe that? Momo and I are barely keeping track!"

"How the hell haven't you been fined? Or worse, how have you not gone bankrupt?"

She shrugged.

"I don't know, we make a lot of fucking money and we're not stupid either."

"Fuck..." you sighed. "Fine, I'll be your accountant. Have you thought about expanding the business?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, make a more general bar, maybe, and less hidden," you said. "You're wasting Moka's talents on a bunch of stinky Japanese men."

"I mean... you're right. But right now we have to get back on our feet financially after buying the apartment."

"I can check your account book today, so you'll know where you stand exactly. Do you have an Excel file?"

"Yeah but..." she scratched her temple. "It's a bit messy."

"I'll fix it, no problem."

"God, thanks sweetie..." she sighed, and put her cheek against your chest. "Wait a minute..."

She lifted her head and stared at you with half-lidded eyes.

"What?"

"Why don't I have your fucking phone number?"

You were absolute idiots. The two of you. Momo included. The most basic thing had slipped your mind a year and three fucking months ago.

"I..." you thought about it for a second, your gaze lost somewhere on the curtains. In the end you shrugged and shook your head.

"Fucking hell..." she snorted. "I forgot that this isn't the fucking 1960s. Let's go get breakfast before I start banging my head against the wall."

"Yeah, same."

You and Mina got out of bed feeling like a couple of retards. Neither of you brought it up again, you'd do it with Momo in a moment to see how stupid her face would be too.

Going outside and into the kitchen confirmed what you already suspected: Sana and Momo were already preparing something. One was at the counter whisking some eggs and the other near the sink, chopping vegetables.

Sana was the first to notice your presence.

"Ohayou!" she said with a smile, looking at you for a moment before looking back at the eggs she was whisking. "Did you sleep well?"

Momo turned around for a second and smiled too.

"Of course they slept well, look at those cute little faces in love."

Mina walked into the kitchen and walked over to the fridge. You stood leaning against the wall behind Sana.

“What are you two cooking?” she asked.

“Tamagoyaki and tsukemono,” Momo replied.

“Waa!” Mina grinned, pulling out a bottle of cold water from the fridge. “Oishii!”

Mina walked over to you, drank from the bottle, and offered it to you.

“What’s that supposed to be?” you asked, taking the bottle of water and then opening it and taking a long drink.

“Omelet and pickled vegetables,” Sana replied. “Nothing fancy, but it’s delicious.”

“Oh, by the way,” Momo set her knife aside and turned around to face you. “I have some errands to run, so I’ll be gone for the better part of the afternoon.”

“I have to get going, too,” Sana said, pouring the eggs into the pan. "I have a condo meeting and my landlord is coming to see the apartment."

"But you have the night off, right?" Momo asked.

"Uh..." Sana looked at her and tilted her head. "I have to go to the club, right?"

"Wrong. You're going out with us."

"You made plans without telling us?" Mina asked from beside you.

"I made them because I know you wouldn't say no," Momo turned around again to continue chopping vegetables. "We're going to a sauna. A nice, private one."

"Well, I certainly wasn't going to say no to that."

"You see? I always have everything under control. Now go set the table, please. This will be ready soon."

You and Mina got to work, and the table was ready in no time. Breakfast was ready just a couple of minutes later; Momo and Sana took care of serving it to everyone, accompanied by a delicious glass of soy milk. Everything was delicious: the omelet was kind of sweet and fluffy, and the vegetables tasted fresh.

After finishing breakfast, Sana and Momo got up from the table ready to go change and go out to do their errands. You and Mina stayed chatting at the table, while she showed you some files she had on her phone about the club's accounting. You couldn't do much with it, but it served to give you a first idea.

It was only when the girls left that you were free to discuss the matter more calmly. She took out her laptop, and accessed her Drive file to get all the files from there. You were fully expecting what you found in them: lack of control over income and expenses, lack of clear categorization, and problems with cash flow. It was a problem, but everything was perfectly reversible; it would take a few months to be solved.

With that matter sorted out for now, you and Mina were free to spend the afternoon spending quality time together.

Your favorite moment was the conversation you had while putting together a 500-piece puzzle, because the chemistry flowed like a calm river, and you couldn't have been more relieved. You both delved into each other's lives, slowly opening the doors to a growing mutual trust. This was easy, as Mina was open to answering every question without reservation, and you didn't hesitate to do the same. All of this led to a point where you felt that your relationship would only get stronger, on a horizon that looked fulfilling for both of you.

You even took a short nap on the couch, interrupted by the arrival of Momo, who gently shook you awake. You opened your eyes to find her standing beside you, handbag still in her hand. 

The sun had dipped considerably, and the room was now morose. It had to be close to 6 already. You and Mina had fallen asleep at 4.

"Wakey wakey," she told you. Mina woke up seconds later, rubbing her eyes. "Go get ready. We have to go."

"Already?" Mina asked in a small voice, followed by a yawn. She sat up.

"Our appointment is at 7, and it's going to be almost 6. So yeah, get moving."

Momo left you and walked down the hall, checking her phone. You and Mina hurried to stand up and go get dressed. It wasn't a formal occasion, and you weren't going to a crowded place either, so you didn't put too much effort into your outfit. Mina was kind of different, she always tried to look her best, no matter where she went, so you had to wait a couple more minutes for her.

By 6:30 the three of you were ready to go to the car. As you walked down the stairs Momo told you that you would pick up Sana at her apartment, and that's what you did. In no time you were all heading to the establishment where Momo had rented the sauna, which you arrived at just in time.

It was a place somewhat far from the city center, picturesque looking and full of beautiful cabins connected to small sheds on the side. Shortly after, you learned that those cabins were also part of the establishment, and that one of those sheds—specifically one of the furthest ones, almost touching the forest on top of a small hill—, was the space assigned to you.

Momo stayed talking to the receptionist while you admired the green landscape, and after a few small adjustments and details to clarify, you were assigned a worker who would accompany you to the cabin to explain how the sauna worked and what you would have to do if you wanted to adjust certain aspects such as the temperature, the lights or the music. It was a brief instruction, but effective enough to make everything easy for you.

Then the worker left, and left you alone in the cabin, which consisted of only one floor and an attic. The guy emphasized that you take a shower first to prepare your bodies for the heat. After doing so, you came out with the towels already rolled around your bodies to get into the cabin.

It was a relatively small space, perfect for four people to fit comfortably without being too crowded. Light wood walls surrounded everything, with a single decorative panel of textured concrete lit from behind. The ceiling was adorned with discs of cut wooden logs, giving the place a rustic feel. Soft, warm light emerged from hidden strips beneath the seats, arranged in three different tiered levels. In front of them, a circular stove loaded with rocks waited and was already lit. The heat immediately hit you.

“Fuck, how hot is it in here?” Sana asked, going to sit on the second level, where there was a bowl of water. The worker had explained that if you wanted to add a little steam you would just have to pour some on the rocks.

You reached for the touch panel in the booth to corroborate that information and adjust the lights in the process.

“70 degrees,” you read, dimming the lights a little and putting on a lo-fi playlist perfect for relaxing. "But with you three in that tiny towel, about 80."

The three of them laughed as they settled in. Momo sat on the top level, and Mina sat next to Sana, leaving a space between them that you sat in, hands braced at your sides. The dry heat took its toll quickly, and the four of you were practically covered in sweat within five minutes.

"So? What are your plans, sweetie?" Momo asked from behind you. She had her legs crossed just behind your head. "When are you leaving?"

You turned your head to look up at her. You'd be a liar if you didn't admit that you first saw that pair of toned legs and her cleavage on the towel before you saw her eyes.

"Day after tomorrow, 8 fucking morning," you replied.

"We can go out to lunch tomorrow then," she suggested. "And then go partying. I know a couple of good places."

"Yeah, that sounds cool. The nightlife is hella fun here."

"Hey, and you're not planning on staying?" Sana asked from beside you.

"Well, actually..." you gave a quick glance to Mina, who had a small smirk on her face. "I'll probably end up moving here. Sooner rather than later."

"Wait what?!" Momo squealed behind you, leaning forward to look at you, holding onto your shoulders. Her mouth was agape.

"I mean, you won't see me for a few months, but you'll be helping me with all the necessary paperwork," you replied with a smile, looking up at her. "Mina will fill you in on the details."

You and Mina spent the next few minutes explaining to Momo everything that needed to be done. You inevitably came up with the subject of the club's accounting, a topic she stared into space throughout your explanation of the things that were wrong and needed to be corrected.

"Damn, that's what I get for being stingy," she muttered, dismayed, but then her face changed to a smile. "But oh my god, I can't believe you're actually going to move here!"

She hugged your head from behind, you smiled and took her forearms. Sana seemed happy about it too.

"It's advantageous for everyone," she said. "Now Mina-sama won't have a sour face everywhere."

"I don't wear a sour face everywhere, you fucking-" Mina tried to go past you to pinch Sana's thigh, but you stopped her and pulled her back as Sana giggled.

A couple of minutes passed when Mina stood up and poured a little water on the stones, so that the steam emerged and covered the cabin. It was light, nothing too overwhelming. Your body certainly appreciated it.

"Fuck, it's already getting too hot," Sana said with a sigh, and then she unrolled her towel, which fell behind her and revealed her sexy, naked, sweaty body.

It was a move you were more than expecting, so it didn't surprise you. You did try to look at her as little as possible, though, so you wouldn't get an instant boner. It wasn't like they would care, but you thought that maybe it would just be an intimate moment without any lewdness involved.

How naive of you. Of course there was going to be lewdness involved; you were in a fucking sauna with three women you'd already fucked previously.

"Ah! Sana-chan's right," Momo said from behind you, and you didn't need to turn around and look at her to know she'd taken off her towel as well.

"I'm not that hot," Mina said from your left. "But it would be rude of me to still be covered up with you two naked."

Mina then took off her towel as well. You couldn't help but stare at her, and damn, her pale, shiny, sexy body looked like a fucking snack. Turning your head you were met with another stupidly hot piece of meat, but what stood out the most about Momo were those perfect pair of tits covered in sweat.

"What?" she asked, her gaze somewhere other than your eyes. "Aren't you going to take it off too? I think that thing wants to breathe."

You followed her gaze, to find that you were already harder than the wooden discs on the ceiling. Your cock was sticking out of the towel with slight throbbing, and screaming for release. It was clear that you two had already gotten into the little game, so you weren't going to bother playing dumb.

"Oh right, my bad," you nodded, and unrolled your towel to take it off, thereby freeing your cock.

All three pairs of eyes went straight to it. Sana giggled, and sat as close to you as possible, thigh to thigh. Mina imitated her.

"It hasn't even been a minute since the three of us got naked..." Sana said to your right, close to your ear, her finger scribbling on your shoulder. "That horny we make you, daddy?"

"How crazy you are about us, daddy?" Mina asked to your left, one hand caressing your thigh, quite close to your cock. "I hope not too much... that boner looks painfully hard."

Momo climbed down from the seats behind you and made a spot right behind your back. She knelt up and hugged you at pec level, her slick tits pressing against your back.

"I think he wants us to take care of it," she said in your ear, caressing your nipples and pecs. "Right daddy?"

"Oh I sure do," you replied with a gasp, and turned around to find Sana's face and parted lips inches away. Kissing her made everything go downhill.

The first thing Sana did was bring her hand to your cock, her fingers gripping tightly before slowly moving her wrist up and down, in the middle of a kiss that got heated from the start. Mina kissed your neck, her hand going from your abdomen to your balls. Momo, for her part, kissed your neck and shoulder blades, her hands still making circles on your pecs.

A couple of seconds later you moved on to kiss Mina. She added her hand to Sana's on your cock, and now you had both of them moving slowly up and down. Momo took care of your balls, extending an arm under yours to reach them and knead them carefully, purposely moving her tits up and down your back.

Sana was the first to give in to her desires and she settled back on the seat to take your cock straight into her mouth, with light suctions on the first few inches. Mina got into a similar position, to reach the side of your shaft and lick it in every way possible. Momo then came out from behind you and went to kneel between your legs to start sucking on your balls.

It was an act exactly like the one at the club last night, but this time you wanted to take a different tack.

"On your knees, all three of you," you ordered between gasps, hands on Sana and Mina's heads as they sucked your cock. "I'm gonna fuck your mouths."

"Mmm, yes daddy," Sana replied as she pulled you out of her mouth.

The three of them went to kneel on the floor, somewhat close to the stove with the stones. Mina on the left, Momo in the middle, and Sana on the right. You stood in front of Momo, who stuck her tongue out as soon as you grabbed her head to smack your cock against it several times, only to then take it inside her mouth.

You knew what they were capable of, so you weren't planning on being gentle. You shoved your cock into Momo's throat on the first thrust, and she took it like a champ, just gagging a few times before you started pumping in and out. Slow at first, fast and steady within a few seconds, not letting up until she started spilling her own saliva.

Next up was Mina, seeing as she was the one begging for it. You weren't gentle with her either, and you were fast from the start, one hand on the back of her neck and the other on her jaw. She was just as good as Momo, but every thrust you made into her throat made her gag and scrunch up her face.

With your cock now soaked to the base with a thick layer of Momo and Mina's combined saliva, you moved on to Sana. If with the previous two you had dispensed with any kind of gentleness, with Sana you went straight to being a fucking animal. She luckily took it all like an expert, with no signs of gagging even though you were destroying her mouth and making her salivate on your cock.

"Momo, make me fuck those tits, will you?" you asked, taking your cock out of Sana's mouth. "Let's take advantage of the natural lubrication."

"Mmm. of course," she nodded with a little smile. "Have a seat daddy."

You went to sit on the second step, and she went straight between your legs. Mina went to sit right behind you, wrapping her legs around your torso and pressing her slit against your lower back. Sana stayed on the floor, only to get on all fours so she could get level with Momo's ass to kiss and grope it.

Momo bit her lower lip and let out a small moan as she felt Sana's tongue between her buttocks, but she focused on what you had asked her for in the first place. She grabbed your cock, lifted her torso and placed it between her tits and then squeezed it between them.

She began to move up and down slowly, looking into your eyes between small moans that Sana elicited from her. Mina meanwhile kissed your back and neck, her hands roaming all over your sweaty body and her hips moving against your lower back so that you could feel how wet she was.

You brought your hand to Momo's chin and made her suck your thumb. She increased the speed, between louder moans since Sana was now on her knees, fingering her from behind, kissing and groping her buttocks.

Moans also escaped from you. Momo's tits had never felt this good, lubricated by a combination of saliva and sweat that in addition to their natural sponginess made your cock feel like it was inside two clouds.

"Do you want my feet or my thighs, daddy?" Mina asked in your ear with a small moan. "I'm completely yours to choose..."

"Give me your feet, baby," you replied between labored breaths. Momo was moving at her fastest pace yet. "Sana will give me her thighs and finish me off."

"Does that mean I have to stop daddy? Mmmgh," Momo moaned, her brow furrowed and her bottom lip bitten.

"For now," you added, and then she stopped to go and engage in a heated kiss with Sana, who continued to finger her as hard as her wrist would go.

Mina's feet instantly caught your cock. They moved up and down slowly at first, her toes caressing your balls and tip in circles as they went up.

"You chose my feet because you know they're magical, don't you daddy?" Mina asked in your ear, her arms wrapped around your torso, as she gave you a toe curling footjob.

"Of course I did sweetie," you managed to reply, your hips squirming slightly.

"And you like my nails?" she bit your neck and peppered it with kisses. "I got a pedicure a few days ago, so they're perfect for you."

"I can fucking feel it baby, oh my god," you moaned. Her feet were now moving rapidly up and down.

You let Mina continue to jerk you off with her feet for a few long seconds that felt like aligning all your fucking chakras. But you knew your body and you felt close, so it was time to take Sana's turn.

She and Momo were on the floor. Momo was lying down with her legs spread wide, while Sana was on the side, three fingers pumping in and out of her with one of her tits in her mouth.

"Sana, come here right now," you ordered as Mina slowed down the footjob. "Momo, baby, I'll fuck you first to make up for the interruption."

Sana gave Momo a sexy kiss and caressed her bottom lip with her thumb before standing up and going with you. Mina moved out from behind you, and knelt to your right. Momo, still agitated and visibly very horny, knelt on the opposite side. Sana meanwhile sat on her back on top of your cock, and you made her lift her hips to put your shaft between her slender, soft thighs.

"Come on baby, do the work and finish me off," you ordered, hands on her waist with kisses on her back.

"Yes daddy," she moaned, moving slowly up and down and then picking up the pace. "Is that good?" she asked between labored breaths. "You love that, daddy?"

You didn't love it, you were so fascinated that you couldn't do anything else but leave your mouth slightly ajar and lift your face to the ceiling with your eyes closed. Your fingers gripped her waist firmly, and then you moved your hands up to squeeze her tits as your cock went in and out of those perfect, slippery thighs.

As if that wasn't enough, Momo and Mina had gotten on their hands and knees, their faces just inches away from the action. They then stuck their tongues out and lingered above Sana's thighs, so that every time she went down and your tip was exposed, they would lick it.

That took you to another level of pleasure, and on top of that, Sana's ass bouncing against your pelvis felt amazing too. You couldn't help but explode a few seconds later.

"Mmmgh fuck, fuck!!" you groaned, feeling your cum jets being shot out one after another.

"Mmm yes! That's it daddy..." Sana moaned, twisting her body a little to wrap an arm around your head and kiss you. "You like how my pretty thighs drain you?"

You didn't manage to formulate a response, instead you wrapped your arms around Sana and pressed your forehead against her back between uncontrollable gasps. You could feel Mina and Momo's tongues already working, swirling around your tip and down your shaft.

When you opened your eyes and looked over Sana's shoulder you saw the mess you had made. Not only were her thighs covered in cum, but Mina and Momo's faces as well, who didn't bother to clean up until they made sure you had seen them.

Momo then grabbed Mina's face and used her tongue to clean it all over. Mina then returned the favor, but you didn't notice that either of them had swallowed what she collected. You got your answer when they knelt up, Momo grabbed Sana's chin and made her open her mouth and stick her tongue out. They both then opened their mouths and let all the cum that had accumulated inside them fall into Sana's mouth.

"Oh god..." you gasped, admiring the lewd scene up close.

Sana took every drop and swallowed it like a good girl, then scooped up what was left on her thighs with her fingers and shoved them into Mina and Momo's mouths.

"Play with each other, go on," you ordered. "I need a little break."

They happily obeyed. Sana climbed off your lap and picked up the other two to guide them to the floor. There they shared a three-way kiss, and the three pairs of hands roamed over each other's bodies. Sana touched Momo's pussy, who touched Mina's, who in turn touched Sana's.

After a few seconds they broke the kiss so that Sana and Mina focused on Momo's tits. Each took a breast into their mouths, sucking and licking. Mina brought a hand to Momo's clit, and together with Sana they began to touch her until she melted between moans. Momo didn't keep her hands still, she had both pairs of fingers now inside Sana and Mina's pussies, pumping them as fast as her own shaky, uncoordinated body would let her.

The lewd scene had you hard and ready to go within minutes. You felt bad for interrupting Momo again, but it would be worth it for her.

"Alright, come ride me, Hirai," you said, one hand on your slick cock, moving it up and down.

"Oh fuck!" she moaned, opening her eyes to look at your hard cock. "I'll gladly go, daddy."

She separated from the two of them and went with you. You made her climb with you to the last step, which was the highest and the one that had the most difference from the middle one. Momo turned her back to you and got between your legs, her ass hovering above your cock, which you took straight and rubbed between her buttocks until you found her pussy. She only had to lower her ass, and in a matter of seconds she was impaled on your shaft.

Momo moaned and clung to your knees, her wonderful round ass resting against your pelvis. Mina and Sana climbed up to the second step, where your feet were, just to continue pleasuring each other. Mina put Sana against the step and made her rest her head on it, then she climbed up to the step where you were sitting and sat on top of her face so Sana could eat her pussy.

You would have loved to see what was happening to your right, but Hirai Momo was bouncing like crazy on your cock, and you had a beautiful, privileged view of her ass bouncing and jiggling against your pelvis. Your hands went to her waist and held on there as hard as you could, but then you moved them around the front of her body and brought them to her heavy tits to squeeze them as they bounced.

After about a minute you decided to take control, given in to your carnal impulses. You stood up with Momo still impaled on your cock, and you made her climb onto the step with you to get her on all fours. She moaned and immediately arched her back, one hand resting on the floor and the other on the wall at the side of the cabin. Now you were the one moving your hips, fast and hard, filling the cabin with sounds of flesh slapping together.

"Mmmgh fuck yeah!" Momo squealed, looking over her shoulder at you, making her gleaming muscled back look even sexier. “Fuck me like that daddy! Fuck fuck fuck don’t stop!!”

You reached out and grabbed a handful of her hair and yanked it back hard, your other hand locked on her waist. Your violent thrusts had her moaning louder than either of you had yet, and drove her crazy with pleasure until she finally exploded.

“Oh fucking hell!” she growled, and you let go of her hair so she fell with her hands flat on the wood beneath her, her ass still perfectly raised as you slowly fucked her through her orgasm, which had her writhing.

Behind you, you heard Mina squeal as well. Looking over your shoulder, you found her grinding her hips against Sana’s face in the midst of an orgasm, her hands braced against the wall while Sana held her ass tightly. You then had decided who would get the next turn.

You pulled out of Momo's pussy and went to the bottom step to sit with your back against the one behind you. You wrapped an arm around Sana's waist and made her pressed against you, consequently leaving Mina's pussy. She looked at you somewhat disoriented, her chin and lips soaked with Mina's fluids.

"You still want to ride me, cutie?" you asked, licking from her chin up to taste Mina's fluids as well.

"You could ask me that any time of the day and I would run like crazy to do it, daddy," she replied, then climbed on top of you to grab your cock and take it inside her stiflingly tight pussy. "Mmmgh, and now your cute little girlfriend can't stop me, hehe."

Sana wrapped her arms around your neck and adjusted her thighs on either side of your hips before starting to move up and down. She let her head fall back, brow furrowed and mouth parted as moans began to flow out of her. You left your hands on her waist and then lowered them to her thighs, just admiring how absurdly sexy she was riding a cock.

It didn't take long for her to pick up speed and become a complete demon. Sana was an excellent dancer, you might even say prodigious, so you fully expected all that hip technique to be directly reflected in that moment. She certainly didn't disappoint, moving her hips so well and so fast that it left you paralyzed for a few seconds.

"Fuck... you really wanted to ride daddy's cock huh?" you teased, both hands on her ass as it moved on your cock. You gave her a small spank.

"I wanted it, I needed it!" she replied between moans, and lowered her head to kiss you.

With your lips dancing with each other and your tongues swirling you stopped her and stood up with her tightly wrapped around your waist with her legs. Then you walked down the couple of steps with her carried and leaned her legs wide open against the door of the cabin, now fucking her at full speed.

Sana squealed into the kiss and bit your bottom lip a little too hard, her arms now under yours and her hands on your back, nails scratching you mercilessly.

“Yes daddy yes! Fuck!!” she squealed. “Fuck my tight little pussy like the fucking little whore I am, mmmgh!!”

You moaned and buried your face in her neck to bite it, your hands gripping her thighs to both hold her against the wall and keep her legs spread wide. The constant hammering of her pussy took its toll a few short seconds later as Sana arched her back and dug her nails into your back as she came.

“Yes!! Oh god!!” she growled, hands now on your head to tangle her fingers in your hair. “Daddy makes my slutty pussy feel so good, fuck!”

You gave Sana the last few thrusts before pulling out of her and kissing her again, as you led her to one of the steps to rest. There you found Mina on top of Momo, in a sexy 69 where both of them were eating each other's pussy. Mina's ass was facing you, and you certainly weren't going to waste that opportunity.

Without warning her and without her noticing that you had gotten behind her, you knelt down and grabbed your cock to press it directly against her butthole. Mina startled and looked over her shoulder at you, and bit her lip when she noticed what you were doing.

"It's about time you came to fuck my cute ass, daddy," she said shaking it from side to side. "Come on, hard and deep, don't think about it."

You obeyed her command and slowly took your cock, still soaked in Sana's creamy fluids, into Mina's tight butthole. Momo was right below, so she caught one of your balls in her mouth as you sank deep into Mina's ass. When your cock had disappeared between that pair of bubble butt cheeks, you grabbed onto her waist and began pumping in and out.

As the seconds passed, you went straight to pumping with the sole intention of destroying her ass. That, along with Momo's mouth also on her pussy, brought her to a quick orgasm that wasn't a sign for you to stop. On the contrary, you went harder, between spankings and hair pulling that had her screaming.

But even though you loved fucking Mina from behind, you loved even more looking her straight in the eyes while you did it. So you grabbed her waist with both hands and made her get up from Momo's body to take her to the last step, where there was more room to maneuver. Up there you put her face up and with her legs wide open, to kneel in front of her and penetrate her ass again.

"You can't go five minutes without looking me in the eyes, right honey?" she asked in the middle of a moan while you fucked her hard and fast again. "Is that because you're obsessed with me?"

You put your hands on her fleshy thighs and pushed them back, pressing them against her body, to rest your hands on the wood on either side of her and lean forward.

"Obsessed is an understatement for what I am, Myoui Mina," you managed to answer between moans, your drops of sweat falling on her. "You have me fucking in love."

"Really?" Mina held eye contact with you, between squeals and labored breathing.

"I would never lie to you about that sweetie, you drive me fucking insane and I want you only" you replied, and then she closed her eyes, arched her back, and came again with screams of pleasure.

"Mmm fucking god!!" she growled. "I would scream for you to put a baby in me if only I wasn't on fucking birth control, ugh!!"

You didn't know if that was a bullet dodged or a real pity for you. Honestly, you didn't even know how to take it, so you just changed the subject.

"How about the three of you give me your pretty faces to paint?" you asked, loud enough for Momo and Sana to hear as well.

"Yeah, do that before I rip out my uterus and hand it to you on a silver platter," Mina said beneath you. If that was the start of a time where she was obsessively in love with you, you were completely down for it, tho.

You pulled out of Mina and helped her to the floor with Sana and Momo, who were already on their knees waiting for you. Mina knelt to the far right, and the three of them put their faces together under your cock with their tongues out. You just had to jerk yourself off as fast as you could, since you were also close, until you exploded in a maelstrom of moans and grunts.

The jets of thick cum shot out with force to fall directly on the sweaty faces of the three of them. You made sure to leave each face painted equally, from chin, to tongue and even forehead. Satisfactorily for you, your orgasm passed when those three beautiful faces resembled a messy canvas covered in white paint.

"God, how could you not want to stay here in Budapest..." Momo asked, still finding her breath. "Aren't we perfect, daddy?"

"You fucking are... fuck," you gasped.

"And just wait until we teach Moka-chan English," Sana said with a giggle.

You just narrowed your eyes and stared at her.

"Huh?"

You were downright drained and exhausted, so you just went to the bottom step and sat there to rest. The girls joined you shortly after Momo had turned off the heater, also exhausted. It took about ten minutes until the heat had decreased considerably and all the steam had disappeared.

You then made sure to leave everything in there clean, and with nothing else to do, you walked out with your towels on as if nothing had happened and went into the cabin to take cold showers and get dressed again. Within a half hour you were on your way home again.

That night was the quietest night for the four of you. Sana had stayed with you, and this time you made popcorn and ordered food to watch a movie. However, you went to bed early, since you all felt like your bones were aching.

The next day was the most normal of all: you had a delicious, cute and fun breakfast, played a couple of board games and then went out to lunch at a beautiful establishment that Momo took you to. Later in the evening you went to a nightclub, and you came back home with a fun drunkenness that mainly affected Sana, who had a bit too much to drink and was acting more goofy than usual.

The next morning it was time for you to leave for the United Kingdom. But it wasn't as sad as the last time, both Mina and you knew perfectly well that you didn't have to be; you would be together again, very soon.

This time there would be no more goodbyes, no more long waits to hold each other in each other's arms.

And who knows, maybe you would even get married to give birth to a mini you or a mini her.

Only time was going to tell.

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Spren Notes: Hehe. As always. Thanks for reading! MASTERLIST HERE!

[starsinthesky5]

why do you like me so much then? || joe burrow x reader

description: why do you like him so much? everything you said made him sound like a lackluster boyfriend, so why did you like him so much?

a/n: this is either really bad, chaotic, all over the place, or just yapping. sorry. the fact that this was supposed to be a blurb?? yeah. i cannot write blurbs LOL.

thanks to @joeyb1989 and my anons for giving me inspo for this! and to joe with that sexy, bratty eyebrow raise that I can never move on from

word count: 9.2 k

warnings: angstttt, smutttt, fluff

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3 hours. That's how long it took you to get ready tonight.

You spent an uncharacteristic amount of time carefully positioning each strand of your hair, ensuring that each piece was perfectly curled and set. You made sure every piece of jewelry from your delicate necklaces to your sparkling earrings and bracelets, all of which were gifted by your boyfriend, shimmered in the warm light and reflected a soft glow. Each stroke of makeup had to look flawless to complete the look, your eye shadow blending in seamlessly as you perfected your small winged eyeliner. The silk sage green slip-on dress you wore–with a delicate lace trim–fit your body like a glove; highlighting every aspect of your beautiful figure perfectly. 

You looked amazing and you felt amazing for the first time in a long time. The past few weeks had been filled with strangeness and ambiguity and you were in desperate need of a change of pace. The strangeness came from how you and Joe had been a bit distant from each other lately, which was uncommon for you two. You were constantly attached at the hip, utterly fixated on each other to the point where the mere thought of being apart would lead to a state of misery and endless complaining. But this past month, you couldn’t be more disconnected from each other. Joe had been so wrapped up with football training this past month to the point where it felt like you two barely saw each other, and that didn't sit well with either of you. You always used to make so much time for each other no matter what, but recently it felt like you two stopped trying.

Every time you thought of planning something to do together such as a little lunch date at your favorite cafe, or a relaxed hike around the park, even just ordering takeout and eating together on the couch while watching a movie, it would always get moved or put off till the next week because Joe had something come up. Either it was more training (which was understandable), more brand shoots (somewhat understandable), or even because he wanted to hang out with the guys--completely not understandable. 

You were never the kind of girlfriend who would keep her boyfriend away from his friends, especially because you actually really liked Joe's friends and greatly appreciated the support they gave him, but when he started using them as an excuse to pass on spending time with you, that's when you became a bit bitter. You were the most understanding person when it came to the things Joe had going on in his life. You knew that he had a lot on his plate and couldn't always be fully present for you, but he always tried his best to be. Or at least he used to. 

Passing on training and brand-related work was hard, but passing on hanging out with his friends once or twice so he could go through with the plans he made with his girlfriend was fairly easy. 

It should be easy, right?

But Joe didn’t do that. He instead moved your plans to hang out with them, and that hurt. He said that you could do the lunch date, hike, or takeout food & movie evening later on, but that 'later' rarely came around. He would just get swamped with more things and you'd be so focused on your work that you couldn't bother to bring up the subject again. 

Joe noticed your increased irritation as well, but he just never said anything because he didn’t feel like it was anything serious, just you in a mood. He wasn't sure what made you so resentful all of a sudden, but he knew better than to argue with you about your sudden mood swings, especially because he knew there could be over 100 reasons for them and didn't really want to set you off even more by pointing it out. 

What Joe did notice was that you two hadn't had much one-on-one time like that recently–completely oblivious to the fact that's exactly why you were so bitter–so he decided to take the first step and offer to take you to dinner at the end of the week. You were so excited when he proposed the idea of going to dinner on Friday, looking forward to spending some much-needed quality time with the person you loved the most. He told you that he'd take you to this new steakhouse in Downtown Cincinnati and then he'd take you down to the banks so you two could lay against the grassy field and look up at the stars together, something you used to do every weekend during the off-season but something had slowly fizzled out as time went by and your weekends became a bit more intense. 

"Every star in the universe reminds me of how much I love you. You’re not just a part of my world; you are the center of my galaxy, and everything else revolves around the love we share," is what he told you the first time you went stargazing. Those special words have stuck with you ever since, especially the part about how you’re the center of his galaxy, but lately, it started to feel like the center of his galaxy had shifted to something other than you. You couldn't figure out when things shifted; those genuine, pacifying moments you two shared became scarily rare. In the back of your mind, you felt like you were losing him. Even though you weren't, it just felt like it, and that was the worst feeling out of them all. Nothing you did or he did made that thought go away. What you didn't or he didn't do is what made it worse. 

You were determined to use this date as a way to move things back on track in your relationship, hopefully even talking about how off things had been lately, so that’s why you dedicated an unusual three hours to primping and preparing. Despite your efforts to achieve perfection, Joe’s love for you was unwavering, regardless of your appearance. He adored your natural beauty, free of makeup, and cherished your tousled, messy hair. He found you just as enchanting in your old gray sweats and one of his worn-out college t-shirts that made you look oh-so tiny. You knew how indifferent he was to perfection, but you wanted everything to be excellent tonight, even if he didn't need it to be. You needed this. 

You were filled with anticipation as you imagined walking into the restaurant with him, the warmth of his hand in yours. You could almost taste the first sip of wine, feel the soft buzz it would bring, and sense the rush of emotions as you immerse yourself in the familiar and comforting bubble of your love for each other. You needed to feel that again so badly.

You took one final look in the mirror, "Damn, I look good. He’s going to love this," you whispered to yourself as your eyes navigated up and down your figure before giving yourself a small nod of approval and exiting the bathroom. You grabbed your white chanel handbag which was one of the many birthday gifts he had gotten you last month and made your way out of the shared bedroom and down the stairs, a big smile on your face as you were expecting an adorable, dressed, and ready Joe awaiting your arrival. But as you reached the last few steps, your smile dropped as you were met with the exact opposite. 

You were met with a Joe dressed in gray sweatpants and an old LSU tee whose back was facing you while he was sitting on the couch, had his headset on, and was playing video games on the TV. 

"Today is Friday, right?" you whispered to yourself as you pulled your phone to read the date, which showed that it was in fact Friday and you weren't crazy.

"Joe?" you called out as you slipped your phone back into your bag, slowly walking down the couple of steps you had left with a look of sheer confusion on your face. He didn't hear you, but you heard him.

"Aye, man. What the fuck?" he said loudly as he started aggressively pushing the buttons on his game controller. "How the hell did you get to level 10 when it's only been a week since the last time we played?".

His friends. He was playing with his friends. 

"Of course," you scoffed as you walked over to the living room where he was, throwing your handbag onto the dining table before calling out for him again. "Joe?.... Joeeeee?" you said louder from behind him, but he still didn't look back at you. 

"He has to be fucking ignoring me. There is no way his headset is this soundproof," you thought to yourself as you shook your head and walked around the couch to come into his view. 

Joe looked over and saw you walking towards him, his eyes giving you a quick once-over before settling on your soft eyes which had a slow burning fire behind them. "You look nice," he mumbled to you before looking back at the TV. While he may not have looked directly at you, his words were genuine–he couldn't help but admire your alluring beauty.

“....Thanks...,” you replied with a dubious tone. “Did you forget that it’s Friday?” you asked him as you looked over at the screen and then back down to him, no response yet again. 

“No, don’t go that way,” he warned his friends through the headset, completely ignoring what you just asked him.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you thought to yourself again.

“Joe? Hellooo?” you called out again but waved your hands for him to see you from the corner of his eye, which he did but didn’t say anything. You were becoming increasingly annoyed with his lack of attention towards you, especially since you knew he could see you and see that you were trying to get his attention. 

"Do you need something?" he finally asked as he moved one side of his headset off his ear, still too focused on the game and his friends to focus in on your conversation. 

"Do I need something? Yes, I fucking need something. I need my boyfriend to go on our date with me which he promised to take me on," you thought to yourself, wanting nothing more than to scream into a pillow.

"Baby, it's Friday," you took a deep breath and said, crossing your arms as you tried to prevent yourself from flipping out on him.

"Yeah, I know," he softly laughed, putting the headset back on again and going back to the game, not even bothering to wait and listen if you had anything else to say, which you did.

You were absolutely dumbfounded by his actions; it was clear that he was intentionally overlooking you. Joe knew you wouldn't bother him like this without a good reason, especially during his video game time with his high school buddies, so his behavior was completely unjustified. 

"Did he forget?" you thought to yourself, feeling your heart break a little at the thought. There was no way he forgot, right? He was the one who planned this date, how could he forget?

Your expression softened as you asked him, "Did you forget?". You didn't really want to hear his response because deep down, you already knew the answer. Admitting it meant that he actually forgot about you.

But you didn't need to hear his response because there was no response. 

You looked back and forth between him and the TV, seeing how he was practically looking right through you and pretending as if you weren’t standing there in the most date-night outfit ever. Joe was oblivious sometimes, but he wasn’t that oblivious.  

“Fuck this,” you mumbled, deciding to take matters into your own hands since he wasn't listening and didn't look like he was planning on listening. You walked over to the TV, grabbed the plug from the outlet behind it, and yanked it so hard that you could've pulled out the entire electrical system in the wall. 

"Y/N, what the hell?" you heard from behind you, as well as the sound of Joe taking his headset off and throwing it down onto the couch. 

"Oh, so now you acknowledge my presence?" you rolled your eyes and sighed heavily. 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he asked you, his eyebrows furrowed as if he was genuinely confused. 

"What do you think? I called out your name like 4 times and got no response. Then when I actually got your attention, or I thought I did, you didn't even answer my question fully and brushed me off like I was just some girl," you said as you walked closer to him, the built-up bitterness inside of you begging to be released. 

"You're not just some girl," he shook his head. "You're my girlfri-," he began to say before you interrupted him. 

"Oh yeah? Then act like I am. I asked you a question and you completely ignored it and ignored me," you grumbled as you gave him a look that he instantly knew meant you were genuinely pissed off. 

"What do you mean? I did answer your question," he shrugged. 

"Fucking barely? I told you it was Friday and was hoping that would ring a bell but it didn't, and then I asked you if you forgot but you had already put your dumb fucking headset on and either didn't hear me or didn't want to hear me," you snarled, rolling your shoulders back as the tension in your body increased and put a strain on your upper body. 

"Ohhh, it's Friday? So what?" he sarcastically laughed while shaking his hands, then stood up and practically towered over you. You hated when he did this whenever you two got into a little disagreement, it felt like he was showing the power he had over you and made you feel 10 times smaller. 

"Are you serious?" you asked, feeling the heat rising in your cheeks and your eyes beginning to well up with tears. It wasn't sadness that caused the tears, but a deep sense of anger. 

"What did I forget hmm? Because I'm pretty sure that I already did the laundry, cleaned up the kitchen from lunch, ordered the groceries, and watered your plants outside," he asked, the bratty tone in his voice making you want to scream into a pillow and then proceed to hit him with said pillow. 

You felt your bottom lip tremble as your entire body felt a wave of sadness overpower the anger you were feeling. 

He really forgot. 

He didn't forget to do all the other things that weren’t that big of a deal, but what he did forget was the most important thing.

"Our...our date, Joe?" you choked out, feeling a tear fall from your eye it felt like the world went silent. "Our fucking date," you said again, this time with more anger in your voice, wiping the tear trail from your cheek. So much for your flawless makeup. 

Joe's heart immediately sank at the mention of the word 'date.' He had completely forgotten about the plans you had made, the plans he had made. How could he have forgotten something like this? He knew how important this date was; it was the first time in a long time that you two got to spend alone time together away from everything. Even though he never said it, he felt awful that each time you tried to plan something together, it was pushed back for some reason and never thought about again. 

His eyes softened as he realized why you were mad, "Y/N, I'm so sorry...I forgot," he said. 

You remained quiet for a few seconds, trying to calm yourself by taking a few deep breaths but that wasn't really working. "I shouldn't be surprised you forgot, you know? I've been practically invisible to you this past month," you scoffed, a few more tears falling from your eyes unknowingly. 

"Invisible?" Joe questioned, a bit taken aback by your harsh response. Yeah, he had been spending less time with you lately, but in no way were you invisible to him. 

"Yeah, invisible. It's like I'm just not here. You've been basically avoiding spending time with me and the one time you offer to plan something, you conveniently forget. Spare me, Joe," you shook your head and said. 

"Woah, I wouldn't say I'm avoiding spending time with you?" he said as he took a step closer to you. "I've been busy, you know I've been busy,".

"I get that, but what about those times when you ditched doing something with me so you could do something with the guys? I understand if it’s because of training and stuff but getting ditched for your friends? That hurts. Especially when we already had plans but you moved them and little old me always went along with it because I didn't want to rock the boat," you cried, your tears breaking through and free-falling down your cheeks now. 

"Rock the boat? What are you...what are you even talking about?" he threw his hands in the air and asked. "What the hell is she talking about? I know we've been spending less time together, but in no way is the boat being rocked. We're fine?" he thought to himself. 

"Here you go with the oblivious act," you laughed through the tears in amusement. "Un. fucking. believable. You always do this whenever you’re in the wrong, and frankly, I’m sick of it. You're acting as if I haven't been visibly miserable the past few weeks. Oh, wait. That's just it, how would you know? I'm invisible to you," you said, your voice a little louder as the anger was once again taking over. 

"Look, I don't know what the fuck I did but I don't understand why you're blowing up over this," Joe said, his hand moving to scratch the back of his neck. 

"That's just it. It's mostly what you didn't do. You didn't bother to reschedule our plans, you didn't bother to check in on me to see if I was really okay with you moving our plans, and you didn't fucking remember we were supposed to go out tonight," you yelled, your breaths becoming shorter as you felt yourself turning red from slight distress. You felt awful for yelling at him, but all of the emotions you had built up this past month were coming out at once and it was not going to be pretty. 

Joe stood in silence, his eyes fixed on you as you continued to express your disappointment with his recent behavior as your boyfriend. He felt a sense of unease as he realized the impact of his actions on your emotions. He knew he was in the wrong, but he was hoping you understood how hectic his schedule was and how that prevented him from giving his all to you recently. 

You always understood. And if you didn't, you talked to him about it. But this time you didn't do either of those things, and that made him a little upset. Communication was a big part of your relationship and although it had been pretty off this past month, he thought you would’ve said something to him if you felt this bad about everything. 

"You know, instead of yelling at me about all of this, why didn't you just talk to me about it in the first place?" he asked, now feeling a bit irritated himself. "If you felt so 'invisible' why didn't you tell me right then and there?". 

"Are you really blaming me for this?" you said, looking at him in disbelief. It was unbelievable that he was trying to ignore your feelings, especially when you rarely blew up on him like this so that should tell him that you were really hurt by all of this.

"I never…I never said that," he said while sucking his bottom lip in. "All I'm saying is that we didn't need to have this big argument about it if you just talked to me about how you were feeling before,".

"That still wouldn't change the fact that you forgot about tonight," you snapped, placing your hands on your hips. When your hands touched the smooth, silky fabric of your dress, it seemed to emphasize every curve of your body, catching Joe's gaze for a moment. He felt a flutter of excitement in his stomach as he admired your figure once more, taking in every detail of your stunning appearance a bit closer than he did before. "You still haven't given me a reason," you added.

Joe's frustration was growing as he felt increasingly annoyed by your words, despite his understanding that he had made a mistake. Instead of fixing the issue, your yelling was only aggravating the situation. "You know what? Fine. I forgot. Whoops. My bad," he retorted in a tone that was both monotonous and bratty. He went quiet for a moment, thinking of a devious plan to make you even more annoyed. 

But why did he enjoy making you feel irritated? Because he liked seeing you get all hot and bothered because of him. "I forgot because I was having a great time with my friends and lost track of time. I guess they were more interesting than you," he said smugly.

He knew he was being an absolute dick right now, but part of him was having fun watching you get heated over this and wanted to see you get more flustered. “Is it bad that I think she looks hot as fuck right now?” he thought to himself. 

"God, your fucking attitude pisses me off sometimes," you yelled. As you shook your head, you couldn't help but feel another wave of anger towards him, even though looking around, you realized that the issue at hand was frankly trivial. It wasn't the specific problem–forgetting about the date–that got to you, but rather the underlying feeling of frustration and disappointment that had built inside of you for the past month. Tonight was just the final blow that tipped you over the edge.  

Despite your irritating behavior and petty bickering, Joe was really turned on right now. Something about seeing that fire in your eyes, hearing that fire in your voice just got him going. You were taking charge, and he loved that even if he was pissed that you were arguing with him about something that didn’t need to be this big of a deal. You were putting him in his place and he liked that about you. He liked that you weren’t afraid to call him out on his bullshit. 

His eyes traced a slow, calculated path from your legs, to the graceful curves of your body, to the gentle contours of your breasts, then up to the curve of your neck, before finally meeting your captivatingly beautiful face. He couldn't resist the temptation to admire your compelling appearance, making it even more challenging for him to focus on the petty argument you were having. He felt bad that you got all dressed up for a date that wasn’t happening, but he did enjoy seeing your precious cheeks turn red out of anger, seeing your body tense up in a way that was practically begging for him to relieve it. 

He licked his plump lips as his eyes flashed to a darker shade of blue before saying, "Then why do you like me so much?". 

Your breath caught in your throat as you were trapped by the intense gaze in his eyes. Those dangerous, smoldering, bedroom eyes always seemed to have an irresistible effect on you. The words that followed, said in a tone that ignited a wildfire within you, made you feel an almost overwhelming urge to drop to your knees in front of him. “No, No, No. I’m mad at him. It doesn’t matter how much I would love for him to take away my ability to walk right now. Keep it together,” you thought to yourself, feeling butterflies flutter through your stomach. 

You remained quiet and continued to stare at him, watching him raise his eyebrows in the brattiest way possible as a result of how he easily silenced your bitching and moaning and because of how you had absolutely no response for him. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked as he leaned over and whispered in your ear, his husky voice sending shivers down your spine. “Cat got your tongue?”. 

“I’m not playing this game with you right now,” you rolled your eyes and snapped, starting to back up and walk away before you felt his warm hand wrap around your wrist and pull you right back to him.

A playful smirk danced across his lips as he pulled you into his embrace, immediately planting a trail of soft, teasing kisses along your neck, successfully redirecting your attention.

“Joe,” you whispered, trying to get out of his hold but struggling because of how he was holding you so tightly and pressing kisses all along your neck—your favorite spot to be kissed. “Oh fuck,” you lightly whimpered, feeling him nip and bite at your skin as he wrapped his hand around your neck and gently squeezed it. 

“Hm? Why do you like me so much then?” he mumbled as he dropped wet kisses up to your ear. “If I’m such a horrible boyfriend, why don’t you just leave?”.

“Fuck, Joe,” you accidentally moaned, feeling him start to suck on your favorite spot which made a pang of arousal shoot up your spine.  “So much for trying to keep it together,” you thought to yourself. “This has to be a massive ego boost for him,”. 

It definitely was. He took pride in knowing that he could so easily make you forget about your anger towards him by simply doing what he did best, skillfully and attentively worshiping every inch of your body.

“Hm,” he laughed against you. “I guess that’s why you don’t leave,” 

“You’re being a brat,” you said a few seconds later as you threaded your fingers through his frosted tips, pushing his head closer to your neck. Your actions are a complete juxtaposition to the words that came from your mouth. You were mad at him, but you weren’t acting like it. The sounds leaving your lips, your needy touch, it was all the complete opposite of what you were saying.

“No, you’re being a brat,” he said as he moved out of your neck and looked into your firey eyes. 

He had some nerve to be calling you a brat right now. You weren’t the one that had been ignoring him tonight or the one that had been brushing him off all month. “Go fuck yourself, Joe,” you spat out, the bitterness evident in your words, but it seemed to have little effect on him.

“How about you fuck me instead?” he boldly said while giving you the same tempting, inviting eyebrow raise again. 

“If he looks at me like that again, I swear to god I’m going to end up pregnant. Fuck. Why does he have to look at me like that when I’m trying to be mad at him,” you thought to yourself. Gradually, the intense anger, sadness, and constant irritation towards him turned into strong feelings of fierce desire, urgent need, and passionate emotion.

As you stood face to face, a noticeable tension filled the air, the heat rising as if a fire had been torched between you. His passionate gaze reached into you, sending jolts of electricity through the space. It felt as though he was silently expressing that he had the power to make you forget everything, if only you would allow him to.

And god you wanted him to. 

You quickly reduced the space between you both and smashed your lips against his, his hands dropping down to your waist and holding you tightly as a smirk rose on his lips. “Told you. This is why you don’t leave,” he whispered in between the messy kiss as you wrapped your arms around his neck and brought him in closer, completely melting under his fervent touch. 

“Shut up,” you smirked as you trailed kisses along his jaw before he pulled your lips back to his, both of your bodies calling each other’s names as you got lost in each other. 

He moves his big hands down to your ass, giving each cheek a gentle squeeze before whispering, “Jump,” in between the kiss. You do as he says, jumping and wrapping your legs around his middle as he holds you tightly, walking towards the stairs and taking you straight to the bedroom, all without breaking the restless kiss.

A few minutes later, you’re both naked and lying on the bed as Joe spends a bit more time peppering kisses along your neck, your neediness getting more and more vocal as he refuses to do the thing you actually need him to do. 

“Joe, please,” you whimpered as you felt his nose brush against your jaw while he sucked on a spot on your neck, your body squirming under his large frame.

“You can’t be mad at me like that and expect me to give you what you want so easily,” he smirks after he moves from your neck and looks into your eyes with mischievous intent. 

“Fuck you,” you scoffed while tilting your head to the side and refusing to look at him.

“Oh you will, all in due time, baby,” he whispered in your ear, then gently lifted you up in a tender embrace and sat down on the edge of the bed.

Straight across from the mirror. 

“What’re you doing?” you ask him as he sets you in his lap, both of you facing the mirror.

“You see that, Y/N?” he asks as he points to you in the mirror. “That’s you,” he adds as he continues to look up and starts to press wet kisses around your shoulder. His hand snakes around your waist, rubbing your belly with his long fingers as they start to navigate down to your thigh. 

“I know,” you sigh, tilting your head to the side as his kisses get closer to your neck.

“You’re not invisible, baby,” he says as he plants kisses in a path up to your ear as his fingers move down to your core aching core. “You’re right here,” he whispers, a moan escaping your lips as you feel his fingers slide against your wet heat. 

“Joe,” you whimper tipping your head back and closing your eyes, the feeling of his hot body underneath you combined with the feeling of his long fingers at the place where you need him the most becoming too much for you.

“I see you, Y/N,” he whispers in your ear, the tip of his cold nose pressed against it. “I always see you, I always hear you. You’re not invisible,” he says before pressing a kiss to the corner of your ear, then pressing his fingers against your sensitive clit. 

“Ah, Joe,” you moaned, feeling a jolt of pleasure rip through your body. Before you can move your head back forward to say something, you feel his fingers dip inside your core with no warning, earning another sound of pleasure from your lips. “Fuck,” you moaned as you practically melted into his embrace even more. 

His fingers begin to pump in and out of your core, more soft groans and whimpers falling from your lips as he drops slow, hot kisses around your face. “Fuck, you’re so tight,” he rasps as he drops his head down to your shoulder again, spending more time cherishing that part of your body. 

The sensation of his skillful fingers stretching you out and filling you makes you want to forget about everything that happened. Joe always had the ability to make you forget your worries and tensions in an instant, but this might have been a new record. 

“Joe, please…I..,” you whimper, grinding your hips against his as your body begs for more.

"Hmm, it's not that easy, baby," he says with a smirk, his voice oozing with cockiness. You can sense the power he holds over you, and it's clear that he finds it entertaining. He is fully aware of the effect he has on you and revels in it. You hated that he could easily get you like this, but you loved it so fucking much. 

His fingers continue to thrust in and out of your core, his touch becoming hotter by the second as you feel yourself inch closer to your release. “You don’t sound like you’re mad at me,” he said as he used his other hand to push your head forward so that you were looking in the mirror again. 

“Fuck,” you moaned when you saw his captivating dark blue eyes at the same time as you felt his fingers hit the spot inside of you. “I…I’m so…mad at you,” you struggled to get out, a whimper squeezing in between your words. 

“Sure,” he chuckled as he rested his chin on your shoulder, increasing the pace of his fingers.

You watched as his fingers disappeared in and out of your dripping heat, faint sounds of your wetness filling the room as you slowly moved your eyes back up to meet his. The look he had told you a number of things; he was horny as hell (just like you), he was enjoying seeing you struggle like this, and he was genuinely sorry about everything. 

The apologetic twinkle in his eyes produced a profound and intense emotion within you, igniting a powerful and overwhelming feeling. He was fully aware of his mistake and this was his way of expressing it to you. “Joe,” you screamed as you felt the band in your stomach tighten, your body gently trembling above him as you felt overwhelming pleasure coursing through your veins. 

“Look at you, you’re right there, Y/N. Not hidden, not transparent, and certainly not fucking invisible. Especially not to me,” he whispered in your ear, his husky, raspy voice being the final thing you needed to tip right over the edge.

You feel an intense, deep, and warm feeling pool in your belly, you were so so so painfully close. But just to your surprise, Joe suddenly pulls his fingers out of your core, earning a dissatisfied shriek from your lips. “What the fuck, Joe,” you panted, your core pulsing at the tension that was still there, the tension you thought he’d release for you.  

“Told you,” he smirked as he looked into your eyes through the mirror. “Not easy,”, a soft kiss landing on your shoulder before you feel yourself being lifted up again, turned around, and pushed down to the bed a little roughly. 

“Go. Fuck. Yourself.” you groaned at him a few seconds later, your eyes having that fire in them that he so desperately loved. 

“That’s your job, baby,” he winked as he kneeled down on the bed, hovering over you. “But, I’ll be nice for a little bit and help you out,”. 

You’re about to open your mouth to say something, but before you can, he smashes his lips against yours and rests the head of his hard cock at the entrance of your core. “You want me to give you attention? Here you go,” he mumbles a few seconds later with a cocky grin, and then you feel him push into you with a roughness that drove you wild.

“Ah, Joe,” a guttural moan escaping your lips as you scrunch your nose, your legs instinctively wrapping around him. He was wasting no time with you, and you loved that. 

A jolt of pleasure rips through your body again as he starts to move inside of you, his movements so thorough and intense but rough at the same time. His hand firmly grasps your waist, communicating a sense of possession and intimacy, making it clear to you that you belong entirely to him. 

His body was telling you that you weren’t losing him, that you could never lose him. You could never lose him because he would never let you, he’d never let go of you. 

“Fuck, Y/N,” he moaned as he felt your hands travel to his hair, gently tugging on the strands as you rested your lips on his neck. He begins to snap his hips against yours hard, every thrust sending you further back into the bed and making you forget about everything that ever bothered you in your entire life. 

“Joe…fuck, I’m…,” you panted. “Fuck,” you trailed off.

“I know, baby. I know,” he smiled.

He continues to thrust into you and sets a pace that makes you feel like you’re practically flying through the clouds. It feels euphoric the way he knows exactly how to send your body to its pleasure, almost other-worldly. He was just so good at it. 

The way he was worshipping your body, basically fucking the anger out of you was something your brain couldn’t comprehend. He was the only person who was capable of doing this to you, getting you so frustrated, hot, and bothered, and then having you completely and utterly raw the next second–emotionally and physically. 

Joe was aware that your anger towards him and his recent behavior stemmed from genuine pain. He deeply regretted causing you this pain and slapped himself mentally, repeatedly, for making you feel invisible, even for a second. You were the center of his galaxy, and he needed you to know that you still were and nothing had changed. 

He moves his lips back to yours, capturing them in an intimate kiss that stifles your moans. The delicious feeling of his cock filling you up and his lips against yours is all you could have ever wanted. The way he was moving against you was creating a haze in your brain, almost like a lavender haze. 

The haze surrounded you, signaling that you were immersed in a love that consumed every part of you. 

Joe consumed every part of you. He was the lavender haze, and you wanted to stay in that haze for as long as humanly possible. 

Even though you were mad at him, you couldn’t stay mad at him. He loved you and you knew that, and now he was showing you that he did. This was his way of reassuring you that he was right here with you. 

“Baby,” he moaned, feeling himself get lost in the pleasure you were bringing him. “You feel so fucking good,” he groaned. 

“Joe, my god,” you whimpered, feeling your already built-up release getting stronger again. “I’m so close,” you whined, feeling him somehow quicken his pace. You looked down at him, watching how he roughly pounded into your wet heat and how his muscular body was glowing in the soft light of your bedroom. 

“Cum for me, baby. I know you’re there,” he moaned in your ear before dropping his head to your neck. 

“Ah,” you whimper, feeling your body start to tremble again, you were just seconds away from letting go. 

One particular hard, well-placed thrust later, you were screaming his name as you pushed your head back into the pillow to brace yourself for your orgasm. You felt like a dam had just burst, and the pressure built against it was finally free. Wave after wave of pleasure rips through your body as Joe keeps hammering into you and each time you feel your high come down, it shoots right back up because of his movements. The feeling of your walls wrapping around him, squeezing and hugging his cock made him smile, almost as much as the sound of his name leaving your lips like a sacred chant. 

“Joe,” you whispered, feeling yourself finally come down from your peak. You looked down and saw that he was still moving inside of you, trying to reach his own peak. “Joe,” you said again as you threaded your hands into his hair and lifted his head, “Flip us,”. 

He looked at your glossed-over eyes with his tired ones, a dirty smirk forming on his lips at the idea of what you were asking him to do. “Okay,” he winked, wrapping his big hands around your torso and easily flipping you over all in one go. Despite how tired he was physically, he could never be too tired for you.

“He’s so fucking strong. Fucking hell,” you thought to yourself as you straddled his waist, taking in his tousled golden curls, his thick muscular chest which was coated with a thin layer of sweat, and then his large cock–which was practically calling for you. 

You grabbed his erection, guiding the tip between your drenched folds as you saw his face contort in pleasure and a hiss leaving his lips–he was close. You lifted your hips from his and sat up on your knees before lining up his cock with your core and sinking straight down onto it.  “Oh, fuck,” he moaned as he closed his eyes, his hands landing right on your ass with a light ‘slap’. 

You leaned forward and placed your hands on his pecs, sliding up and down his cock at the same pace he was pounding into you. “Yeah,” you whispered as you felt yourself feel a shock of pleasure coarse through your vein, just as Joe felt coursing inside of him. 

“Y/N, baby,” he groaned, “You feel so good, fuck,” he said while digging his head back into the pillow, having the time of his life watching you take over and ride him into oblivion. 

“I know,” you said to him with a cocky grin which made him raise his eyebrows again, the same way he did earlier. 

It was that same bratty, sexy, that made you think ‘get me pregnant right the fuck now’ eyebrow raise. 

“Fuck,” you moaned after you saw him raise his eyebrows and his cock hit that spot inside of you. 

“That’s my girl,” he grinned, feeling his ego shoot up because even though you were in ‘control’, he was still, actually in control. Especially over you, and it was so obvious. 

You continued to slide up and down his length, occasionally moving back and forth as his moans got louder and his grip on you got tighter. His eyes were fixated on your breasts that were bouncing up and down right in his view, his hands were stuck to your ass and were kneading your plush skin, and his hips were starting to thrust up into you. 

“I’m close, fuck,” he moaned as he felt your walls tighten around him–you were close too, again. 

“O- oh, fuck,” you whimpered while falling forward, your chest pressed against his. “Joe, you’re so fucking…,” you trailed off as a moan interrupted your sentence. “I’m gonna cum,” you whispered against his swollen, plump lips.

“Y- yeah, me too,” he panted, snapping his hips into yours harder. A few seconds later, your bodies moved against each other in perfect harmony for the final time as both of your releases hit at the same time, both of you feeling like your breaths had just been taken away by the intensity of your orgasms. 

“Joe,” you screamed, feeling your high hit you again like a ton of bricks, stars filling your eyes as your second release soaked your lower halves as you felt Joe’s cock twitch inside of you.  

“Fuck, Y/N…oh my god,” he rasped as he shot hot spurts of cum inside your wet, hot cunt, slowly thrusting whatever came out back into your core. His hands were gripping your hips now, so incredibly tightly that you were sure they would leave a small bruise. You looked down and saw how his nose was scrunched up, how his bottom lip was stuck between his teeth, and how his eyes were filled with love, regret, and admiration towards you. 

A couple of minutes later, you were both lying next to each other, trying to catch your breath and make sense of everything that happened in the past hour or so. Joe turned his head to the side to look at you, taking note of how you were biting away at your bottom lip–something you did when you were anxious.

You were in fact anxious. Your argument was bad, and whatever happened on this bed was amazing, but where did it actually get you? Yeah, you were much calmer and in your senses (kind of?) for the most part, but you had hardly talked about the reason you two even got to this point. 

Joe, with a mix of feelings, let out a deep, heartfelt sigh. He gently put his arm around your bare shoulder, pulling you close to his warm chest. Amid your overwhelming confusion, he became your safe haven even though he was the reason you were confused in the first place.

You felt the gentle touch of his lips as he pressed a tender kiss to your forehead. He then rested his mouth and nose against it, inhaling your natural fragrance. This simple act brought him a unique sense of comfort that no one else, not even his friends, could provide. It was this deep connection that made him realize the need to apologize to you. You were right, you were always right.

“Baby?” he asked you, causing you to look up at him with your tired eyes.

“Y- yeah?” you rasped, your voice scratchy from the activities you were partaking in just a few minutes ago. 

“I’m so, and I mean so fucking sorry for what I did,” he sighed. “I really didn’t mean to make you feel invisible or ignored this past month, you don’t deserve that. I’m sorry that I haven’t been giving you the attention you deserve lately, especially because you do so much for me, more than anyone ever has or ever will,” he sniffled, his eyes welling with tears. 

“Joe,” you pouted, moving your hand to cup his soft cheek and rubbing your thumb under his eye, seeing how glossy his eyes got all of a sudden. “It’s okay, I promise,”.

“It’s not, Y/N,” he said with another gentle kiss to your forehead. “I told you that you were the center of my galaxy, and you are. I hate that I made you feel like you weren’t anymore, that’s so fucked up. I should’ve talked to you about all of this and shouldn’t have expected you to say something first. I was the one that needed to get myself straight and I’m so sorry that I let things get to this point,”.

You felt his hand moving in gentle, soothing circles on your back, providing a comforting and secure touch. In his arms, your worries and tensions seemed to melt away in two distinct ways: the intimacy you shared in the bedroom, and the reassuring feeling of his current actions.

“I just felt like I was losing you,” you admitted. “I was scared that we were drifting apart and I just-,”.

“No,” he interrupted. “You’re not losing me, baby. You’re never going to lose me,” he softly said as he moved his hands into your hair. “I’m not gonna let that happen, not now and not in 15 years when we’re middle-aged and have two kids running around and are arguing about who has to drive the kids to school the next morning,” he smiled.

A soft chuckle left your lips as you imagined what he was saying, an image of your promising future with Joe filled your mind–and it was oh-so sweet. “Obviously you. I need beauty sleep,” you chuckled. 

“Noted,” he smiled as he pulled you closer to him as if you weren’t already stuck to him like glue. He opened his mouth to say something again, and the tone of his voice knew that what he was about to say could easily make you cry,  “I don't think I could find the right words to describe the depth of my love for you. What I feel for you overpowers any other emotion I've ever experienced. It's as if my soul has finally found its missing piece in you. I will choose you, again and again, without hesitation. No one else can make me feel the way you do. You mean everything to me. When I look at you, I see my life partner, my best friend, my everything. You have the unique ability to improve every aspect of my life–every laugh becomes brighter, and every tough day feels more manageable because you're there for me. You have given me a type of love that I never thought possible, and I'll forever treasure the way you've positively impacted my life. My love for you is something I'll wholeheartedly protect because no one else will ever have my heart the way you do. From the moment we met, I felt something unique about you. I've never loved anyone the way I love you, and I know I never will. You're my heart, my soul, and the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. No one else will ever come close to producing the feelings I have for you, and I'll always do everything in my power to ensure you feel as cherished and adored as you deserve.” he said while playing with your messy hair. 

You felt tears falling from your eyes after he finished talking, you didn’t even realize when you started crying, but you were. “Wait, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he softly said as he leaned down and cleaned up your tears by placing kisses on each droplet. “I’m sorry, baby,” he said, his softness so adorable and genuine. 

“It’s okay, Joey,” you grinned, a few sniffles coming from your nose. “I’m crying because of how much I love you. What you said…that means a lot,”. 

“I mean it, Y/N. I’m genuinely so sorry for tonight, for this past month, for all of it. You are always number 1 for me and I need to show you that more from now on. I don’t deserve you at all, but I have you, and I won’t overlook something as valuable as you or not take advantage of the fact that you, this amazingly sweet, sexy, empathetic, down-to-earth, incredibly genuine, kindhearted, funny & sometimes slightly boring…” he started to say before you interrupted him.

“Ouch,” you giggled as you patted his chest, earning a soft chuckle from him.  

“...boring but unpredictable, loving, insanely beautiful, and charismatic girl has my heart in her hands,” he finished saying. “I love you, Y/N. I need to do better for you, and from this moment on I will. You deserve to be loved with 150% effort and I’m going to make sure you do. The guys can wait. I’ve spent enough time with them for them to go a couple of weeks, even months without seeing me. It’s you and me now and forever,” he said to you, his soft, loving eyes acting as a mirror to his soul–which showed his genuine and raw intentions and were exactly as he was describing to you. 

“I love you, Joe,” you smiled as you felt him brush his lips against your lips before planting a deep, passionate kiss to them. 

“Time to get things back on track,” he said a few seconds later, sitting up on the bed and bringing you with him. “It’s too late for our dinner reservation but I’m going to get it shifted to tomorrow. Tonight we’re going to the banks for some stargazing and a late-night picnic. We can pick up some pizza and ice cream from that place by the stadium on our way,” he nodded, talking you through the plan as if he had thought about this deeply, but he didn’t. He was coming up with all this on the fly. “Then tomorrow morning after we wake up, we can go on a little hike in that part by my parent’s house in Athens. It’ll be a drive but we can hike around there since it’s so pretty this time of the year and see my parents, maybe even get lunch with them at our favorite cafe over there before heading back home for dinner tomorrow night. On Sunday, it’s a full lazy day inside. We’re going to stay in our pajamas all day, do a Twilight movie marathon because I remember you saying you want me to watch them with you, order food to the house for lunch and dinner, maybe even bake some cookies or something, and then spend the rest of the day in bed. Preferably with no clothes,” he grinned. 

You were left speechless as you looked at him, impressed by how effortlessly he had drafted these plans without considering his own weekend schedule. The sight of him thinking on the spot filled you with affection, and your heart swelled with a mix of emotions. 

You leap forward and wrap your arms around his neck as you smother his face with gentle kisses, “I loveeeeee youuuuuuuuu,” you giggle, feeling him wrap his arms around your waist and hearing his soft chuckles in your ear. 

“I love you too, baby. You’re the shining force at the center of my galaxy, the light that everything else revolves around. Like the planets drawn to their sun, my life is pulled by your existence, and I know that for us to thrive, our orbit needs to be steady. Every moment with you is a delicate balance of love, trust, and effort–each one keeping us aligned, making sure our world doesn’t drift apart. I’ll protect that balance, making sure that no matter what forces try to interfere, we stay on track, always revolving around the core of what we’ve built together," he says to you, his heartfelt words, his embrace, the genuine look in his eyes all making you fall deeper in love with him.

"This is why I like you so much," you grin as you meet his baby blues, answering his question from earlier.

"What do you mean?" he asks you, licking his lips as he uses his hand to move his hair back.

"I like you because you're the most thoughtful, raw, incredibly well-spoken, smartest, nerdiest, most adorable and manly, genuine person I've ever met in my entire existence. You make me mad sometimes, but you also know exactly how to fix what you did and make everything even better than it was before. You're always making an effort to fix things. Yeah, you can be a dick, asshole, and oblivious idiot sometimes...,".

"Hey!" he gasps, acting like he was offended over what you said.

"But you're my obvious idiot and I love you for everything you are. You love me, like really love me and I know that and you never fail to make me know that. Also because you're like super sexy and I can't get enough of you and that damn eyebrow raise," you giggled.

"Oh, you like that?" he asked, giving you that eyebrow raise again.

"Do that again and we're staying in this bed the rest of the night," you smiled at him and said. "I might even end up pregnant by the end of it,".

Joe was stunned at your words, "Damn, so you really like that," he slowly nodded with a smirk.

"Really may be an understatement. Just know that you don't want to be inside my brain whenever you do that eyebrow raise," you winked. "I don't think we have enough anti-horny spray to get rid of the thoughts in my head,".

"Being perpetually horny is good for the soul, babe. Embrace it," Joe smiled as he leaned in and slowly kissed you in a way that made your toes curl and your body light on fire.

He fell back down against the pillows and brought you down with him. "Joe," you said in between the kiss, "We have to go," you smiled.

"Another round won't hurt," he said while giving you the eyebrow raise again, now knowing what it did to you.

You rolled your eyes, "Fuck, you're going to use that every damn time from now on, aren't you?".

"Maaaybe," he grinned as he brought you back down to his soft lips.

–The End–

[revolutionsingingintherainnn]

No Words *ೃ༄

Summary: max defends his girlfriend and gets into trouble

𖤓 mv x reader ⋆｡°✩

𖤓 fluff + slight humour (iykyk) ⋆｡°✩

masterlist ☾☼

y/n had been a fan of formula one since she was a child. every parental figure in her life had been a fan of the sport, so it was natural and she got into it too. thankfully, it also made her realise very quickly in life that she wanted to work in the field of motorsports. she wasn't sure yet, and she was still working her way to getting into the sport, but it was a sure, clear path for her.

after meeting max, and falling in love with him, everything had changed. her family approved of the two of them, obviously, and so had his, though she hadn't cared much about jos' opinion. y/n made it clear in the beginning that she wanted to work in motorsports and she wanted to earn her place. she refused to let max talk her up or anything, because he was the kind of guy who would do just that for his girlfriend. max agreed, and promised to keep their relationship private for as long as she wanted.

it had taken her a few years. she bounced from indycar to motorgp to nascar and eventually made her way to f1 as a journalist. she had gained far more experience than she would've gotten if she had only focused on formula one, and she was confident in her abilities to finally be formula one.

max and her had stayed strong throughout, even if they kept their relationship private. she had met and become friends with daniel, lando, carlos, and all of max's friends. they often played padel together as well. mix the competitive spirits that max and she possessed, it was always fun.

after a year of being in formula one as a journalist, max and y/n had decided that it was time to stop hiding. they skipped the soft launch part, and jumped directly into the hard launch phase that left a lot of fans shook.

unfortunately, it also got her a lot of hate. y/n went from being one of the best journalists in f1 to one of the most hated ones for the same reasons that she was loved. the fans adored her because she was a woman of colour making a name for herself in such a sport, and that her parents had sacrificed a lot for her and she was making them proud. now, she was hated because her success became max's story and how he put in good words for her and how she was only with him for the money.

it broke her heart, but max was someone who had received a lot of hate before in his life, so he taught her all the ways to ignore the comments and focus on what she did best. it helped a great deal, but it also made her determined to prove that her career had nothing to do with max.

it was getting better, slowly and over time. max and y/n promised to never lose their temper on the comments. a lot of interviewers and fans had also asked the other drivers on the grid to comment on their relationship, asking if it was ethical for a journalist and a driver to date. but the other drivers always responded with the same thing, always saying how they've known max and y/n for a long time, and their relationship was no one else's business.

unfortunately, after a particularly hard race, max finally lost his cool.

"well, max, it's safe to say that this particular race of yours wasn't the best that you've performed. what do you have to say about that?"

"uh, nothing, really. we just didn't have the pace, and with some mistakes on my side, i lost a lot of points. but, i'm sure we can cover it up next race." max replied.

"you don't have to worry about us writing a bad article about you. your girlfriend and we will only be writing praises, don't you worry. the only difference would be that we won't take your hard earned money like she does," the interviewer laughed, nudging y/n.

the cameras were all focused on them, there were fans nearby, and other drivers. everyone was watching. it was live tv. the entire world was watching. the thick crowd of an audience had their gaze fixed on y/n, and all she could do in that moment was hang her head and try not to cry.

that's the moment max lost his cool. y/n was standing right there, and the interviewer had disrespected her on a very public platform.

"actually, my girlfriend will always tell me what i need to hear, whether it's good or bad. y/n y/l/n, a well known journalist, who is also standing right there with you, will write exactly what happened on track, because that's the part that she reports on. she made her own career, so fuck you for dismissing all of it." max bursted, before he stormed off.

the interviewer was spluttering, not sure how to react, but completely outraged as he forced the fia to take actions on max's outburst. y/n slipped away silently, needing to go back to max.

later on, the fia decided to punish max for using "language during the fia sunday press conference". their decision: obligation to accomplish some work of public interest.

later, an interviewer asked him if he regretted his decision of defending his girlfriend and getting a punishment, max responded, “no.”

“so, what do you think of the punishment given to you? do you think it’s fair?”

“no words.”

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

i hope you guys enjoyed this! i had a lot of fun writing this, mostly because i had no idea what my brain wanted me to write, but somehow i kept on typing. anyways, this is my prompt list, so y'all can select a number, give me a driver and i will write it as soon as possible! i also have a google form for a taglist if anyone's interested! you can sent in your requests here :)

[thatdammchickennugget]

One Of The Guys

pairing -james potter x fem!reader

summary - you have always been one of the guys, but what if you don't want to be anymore?

warnings - insecure reader, some teasing, fluff, gryffindor!reader

wordcount - 2.4k

a/n - first fic in months and the anxiety posting this is higher than ever! hope you like!

You’d always been one of the guys. Since first year, when you’d been sorted into Gryffindor with Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter, it just made sense. You spent your days causing trouble with them, sneaking into the kitchens for midnight snacks, planning pranks, and laughing at inside jokes only you lot seemed to understand. You were as much a Marauder as any of them, and you wore that title like a badge of honor.

In some ways, being "one of the guys" had always felt natural. You were never the girl who fussed with her hair, never bothered with makeup or cared much about fashion. While the other girls in your year experimented with nail polish and tried different spells to make their hair curl just right, you’d been happier wearing trousers and comfortable jumpers, getting dirt on your shoes as you kicked a ball around with the boys or plotted another prank.

The boys never treated you any differently. You were as rough and tumble as they were, always up for an adventure or a laugh, whether it was dueling in the corridors, sneaking out under the Invisibility Cloak, or hanging around the Quidditch pitch, watching James practice his broom skills while you tossed playful insults his way. They teased you, sure, but it was never about your appearance. It was always about how you accidentally hexed Sirius’s hair to turn pink that one time or how Remus beat you at Wizard’s Chess two weeks in a row.

But lately, something had started to shift. You’d been spending more time with the girls—Marlene, Lily, Alice, and Mary. It wasn’t like you abandoned your usual activities with the boys, but something about hanging out with the girls had made you realize that maybe you’d been missing out on a whole other side of yourself. They weren’t as concerned with pranks or causing trouble, but they had their own kind of fun—painting nails, talking about what charms they used to keep their hair shiny, and swapping makeup tips. At first, it had all seemed foreign to you, like you didn’t belong. But, bit by bit, you began to get into it. And even though it was obvious you were out of your element, they never made you feel left out because of it.

It started small. A dab of lip gloss here, a charm to make your hair lie flat there. Nothing too crazy. You didn’t want to completely abandon who you were. But when Marlene offered to paint your nails a deep, shimmery red one afternoon, you figured why not? It was fun, in a way you hadn’t expected.

The girls never treated you like you needed to change, and that made it easier. They were all for letting you do your own thing, and whenever you felt out of place, they’d remind you that it was about what made you feel good, not about impressing anyone else.

Still, there was one person’s opinion you couldn’t quite shake.

James Potter.

You weren’t sure when it had started, this nagging crush you had on him. Maybe it had always been there, buried under layers of friendship and pranks. But recently, every time he smiled at you with that lopsided grin of his, something inside you flipped. Every time his hand brushed yours when you reached for something at the same time, your heart would race a little faster. He’d never looked at you like he looked at the girls who swooned over him—like you were someone to notice beyond just being “one of the guys.”

And you hated how much that bothered you.

It wasn’t like you wanted to change for him. But some part of you wondered if he’d ever see you differently if you weren’t always running around in jeans and messy ponytails.

So, that Saturday morning, when you slipped on the dress Lily had convinced you to buy during one of your Hogsmeade trips, you felt like a fish out of water. It wasn’t anything too fancy—just a simple green dress that hugged your frame in a way your usual clothes never did. You’d even put a little effort into your hair, letting it fall loose around your shoulders instead of shoving it into a messy bun like you normally did. Your nails were still painted red from the other night, and you’d borrowed a light bit of makeup from Mary, who had smiled and assured you it wasn’t “too much.”

But as you stood in front of the mirror, you hardly recognized yourself. The tomboy in you felt like you were playing dress-up in someone else’s clothes. It was so far from your usual style that you couldn’t help but wonder if you were making a mistake.

Still, part of you wanted to try it out—to see if maybe, James would look at you differently today. Maybe he’d see something more than the girl who could throw a punch as good as Sirius or outrun Peter when Filch caught you roaming the halls after curfew.

You took a deep breath, smoothing the fabric of the dress one last time before heading down to the common room.

ੈ♡˳

When you reached the common room, you were immediately met with the sight of the boys lounging around like usual. James and Sirius were in the middle of some animated conversation while Remus read a book nearby, and Peter was munching on something from the kitchens. None of them had noticed you yet, which only made the nerves bubbling in your stomach worse.

It was Sirius who spotted you first. He turned to call for James, but his words faltered when his eyes landed on you. His mouth fell open slightly, and a slow grin spread across his face.

"Well, well, well," he drawled, standing up from the couch with a mock bow. "What do we have here? Y/N, in a dress? I never thought I’d see the day."

The others looked up at his words, their eyes finding you in an instant. You tried to smile, but the way their gazes seemed to linger made you want to shrink into the floor.

James was staring at you, his expression unreadable. His warm eyes widened just a fraction, his usual cheeky grin faltering as his gaze swept over you. But before you could figure out what that look meant, Sirius spoke up again.

"Blimey, didn’t know you owned anything besides jeans and jumpers," Sirius teased, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "You sure you’re feeling alright?"

You forced a laugh, trying to shrug off the growing discomfort. “Yeah, just, uh, thought I’d try something new.”

Remus closed his book and smiled at you warmly. “You look nice,” he said, his tone sincere but still carrying a hint of playfulness.

But Peter, never one to read the room right, piped up from the couch. “Who knew you could look like a girl?” he said with a chuckle, and Sirius howled with laughter, clearly finding the whole thing hilarious.

James finally spoke up, his voice quieter than usual. "You do look nice, Y/N," he said, a small smile tugging at his lips. But his tone—sincere as it was—couldn’t erase the sting of the teasing from the others.

You laughed along with them, but inside, the knot of unease tightened. You weren’t mad at them; you knew they didn’t mean to hurt you. But every comment, every joke, made you feel more and more like an imposter in your own skin. Like you weren’t really supposed to be this person, this version of you that wore dresses and makeup and tried to be something more than “one of the guys.”

"I—I’m gonna go change," you muttered, not trusting yourself to look at James when you said it.

Sirius frowned, his laughter fading. “Wait, we were only joking, Y/N. You don’t have to—”

But you were already halfway to the dorms, the sound of their voices fading behind you as you fled.

ੈ♡˳

You ripped off the dress the moment you were alone, tossing it onto the bed and quickly pulling on your usual jeans and jumper. The relief was immediate, but the ache in your chest didn’t go away.

There was a knock at the door.

“Y/N?” James’s voice called softly from the other side. You hesitated but opened the door anyway, finding him standing there, looking uncertain for the first time in a long while.

“You didn’t have to change,” he said, stepping inside. “You looked… you looked beautiful.”

Your heart jumped at his words, but the discomfort from earlier still weighed heavily on you. You shrugged, sitting on the edge of your bed, not quite ready to meet his eyes. “It didn’t feel right,” you admitted softly. “I just... I don’t think I’m cut out for that sort of thing.”

James frowned, walking over to stand in front of you. He shoved his hands into his pockets, his gaze lingering on the discarded dress. “We weren’t trying to make you feel bad, you know. We’re just not used to seeing you like that.”

“I know.” You sighed, rubbing your hands over your face. “It’s just—” You paused, struggling to find the right words. “I thought maybe if I tried something different, I could, I don’t know, feel like... more than just one of the guys for once.”

James was silent for a moment, and when you finally looked up at him, there was something soft in his eyes—something that made your heart skip a beat. “You’ve never been just one of the guys, Y/N.”

You blinked, caught off guard by the sincerity in his voice.

He stepped closer, his expression earnest. “I don’t think you get it. You’re—” He hesitated, as if searching for the right words. “You’re amazing the way you are. Jeans, jumpers, all of it. You don’t need a dress or makeup to make anyone notice you.”

Your heart pounded in your chest, and you weren’t sure if you were reading too much into his words, but then James ran a hand through his hair, looking uncharacteristically flustered. “I’ve liked you for ages, Y/N. And not because of what you wear. Because you’re you.”

You stared at him, stunned into silence. He... liked you?

James let out a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, you’re brilliant. You’re tough, you’re funny, and you’re always there when we need you. That’s what I like about you. That’s what matters.”

You felt your cheeks warm, and for a moment, some of the insecurities you’d felt earlier melted away. “You’ve liked me?” you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded, grinning sheepishly. “Yeah. For a while now. Just didn’t know how to say it without mucking it up.”

A smile tugged at the corners of your lips, your heart swelling with something you hadn’t expected to feel today—hope. "Well, you didn’t muck it up too badly," you teased, a bit of the old you returning.

James grinned, relief evident in his face. “So, what do you say, Y/N? Maybe next Hogsmeade weekend, we could go together. Just us?”

Your stomach flipped, but this time, it wasn’t from nerves. It was excitement. “I’d like that,” you said softly, the smile on your face growing wider.

As the excitement simmered between you, a question began to bubble up in the back of your mind, nagging at you even though you were already starting to feel more at ease.

"James?" you began, your voice a little uncertain as you glanced up at him, still seated on the edge of the bed. He tilted his head slightly, waiting for you to continue. "Would it be... weird if I did want to wear dresses sometimes?"

James blinked, surprised by the question, but the soft smile on his face didn’t waver. "Weird? No, not at all," he said quickly, stepping closer until he was standing right in front of you. He knelt down, so his face was level with yours sitting on the bed, his eyes warm and serious. "Why would it be weird?"

You hesitated, unsure how to explain the knot of confusion that had been sitting in your chest all day. "I don’t know," you said, fidgeting with the hem of your sleeve. "It’s just... I’ve always been more comfortable in my clothes. I never really thought about wearing anything else. But lately, hanging out with the girls and seeing how much fun they have with it... I guess it made me curious, you know?"

James listened, his eyes never leaving yours, and nodded for you to continue.

"I don’t want to change who I am," you added quickly, your words tumbling out before you could stop them. "But I also think... I want to try new things, and I don’t want you—or the others—to think I’m not being myself."

There was a beat of silence before James reached out and gently placed a hand on yours, his touch grounding. "Y/N, you’re allowed to wear whatever you want," he said softly. "It doesn’t change who you are. Whether you’re in a dress or your favorite old jumper, you’re still you. That’s what matters."

You looked at him, searching his face for any sign of doubt, but all you saw was sincerity. "You really think so?"

"I know so," he replied with a grin. "Look, the dress was a surprise, sure. But if you want to wear dresses sometimes? That’s just another part of you we get to know. And trust me, Y/N, you could show up in a full ball gown, and it wouldn’t change a thing about how we see you."

You felt a smile creeping back onto your face, warmth spreading through your chest as his words sank in.

James squeezed your hand, his gaze softening. "Besides," he added, his voice a little more playful now, "if you ask me, you look great no matter what you wear. But you should do what feels right for you. Not for us, not for anyone else."

You laughed, a little embarrassed by how much his words affected you, but you couldn’t help the lightness you felt now. "Thanks, James. That... actually helps a lot."

He stood up, his grin returning to that familiar, cheeky smile that always made your heart race. "So," he said, offering you a hand to help you up, "how about we head back downstairs, and you can wear whatever the bloody hell you want, yeah?"

You took his hand, standing up. "Yeah," you agreed, feeling more like yourself than you had all day. "Sounds like a plan."

Masterlist

Requesting Guidelines

[sgtpeppers]

Okay so the quick version of this is: saw Two Of Us today, adored it even more than I adore the film, the choice to keep them in John's building worked really well to further highlight the mental health message the director talks about in his little note in the programme, the rooftop scene is somehow even more intimate and lovely in this version and the ending is even more painful! I'm gonna write down more under the cut about it all:

Playlist: The playlist before the show/during the interval is everything you would want it to be and it includes Monkberry Moon Delight which I feel like I never hear in public! 

The overall experience was also just super wholesome, one thing I always love about Beatles events is the range of people there it just makes you feel like your part of such a special thing, so shout out to all the old women talking about Paul near me, the middle aged men in their Beatles shirts, and the girl behind me who was sooo excited to be there and I hope she got to meet the cast after like she wanted to! ALSO the Beatles drinks are so funny, idk why Ringo’s is just earl grey tea 😭

Performances: OKAY let’s get into it. So one of my only real complaints about the film is that although I think overall Jared Harris and Aiden Quinn do an amazing job but I do find the quality a little inconsistent (especially the accents) but Richard Short and Barry Sloane are soooo so good, the accents, the little verbal quirks (which also, kudos to the writer as well) and the physicalities are jarringly good at points, especially Barry Sloane’s John. I also feel like a lot of Get Back was watched in preparation because there were so many little things, like the way John plays with his hair that just took me right back to that. Sometimes with fictional Beatles things I’m constantly thinking about how you’re watching two people try to portray these real people, but I definitely found that they were convincing enough that I wasn’t thinking about it too much. 

Outfits: I did find it kinda weird they went for the Get Back looks rather than how they looked in 76, I feel robbed of the New York City vest tbh but they did look great 

Changes from the film: basically they cut out them going for the walk to the park and to Luigi’s and instead John sets up the table for them like they’re in a restaurant in his kitchen. I think it works really well because they play into John not wanting to leave the building, which just adds into that whole mental health thing, and I think it actually makes the rooftop scene more poignant when they get there, because it feels more like Paul has broken through a bit and coaxed him outside, even if it’s baby steps. Anyway, they still have all the same conversations really the script is just chopped up a bit. 

One interesting thing is that the conversation that happens with the fan in Luigi’s still happens, but John sort of pesters Paul about whether he really thinks silly love songs should be number one, and it’s a nice extra layer to Paul’s insecurity which I enjoyed 

Mental health conversations: I think going into it knowing that the director wanted to make this because of the mental health themes, specifically men’s mental health and how having someone to reach out to is so important, is really interesting. They definitely amped up John’s anxiety from the film, his fidgeting and little moments to himself where he’s trying to get himself together were just so palpable, and Paul talking about his depression after the Beatles broke up was even more raw and upsetting seeing it in front of you. My absolute favourite line in the film is ‘I’m thirty-five years old and I still feel like I’ve done something wrong’ and god, my heart just broke seeing it on stage, I think that’s such a common feeling, just that sense that you’re in trouble for something but you’re not really sure what? Anyway, I just loved Sloane’s delivery of it. 

The Kiss: Okay, look I actually don’t care that much about the kiss in the film, I’m glad it’s in there as a little nod to John’s queerness but it really isn’t anything imo, but I liked it a lot more in this! For one thing rather than coming after a little play fight (which is still cute, don’t get me wrong) they do one of their silly dances where they’re spinning each other round etc, so the scene already feels more tender, and then John just kinda grabs him and it goes on a little longer than in the film. I still think it’s far from one of the most intimate moments in the show, but I do think they made it into something more here. 

Rooftop scene: It’s just. It’s everything. They sit right at the front of the stage, facing each other, cross legged and Paul gives him the whole ‘I see a beautiful baby boy speech’ and it’s PERFECT, this was the moment I was most worried about them screwing up and it was perfectly delivered and they have this lovely big hug after it and it made my heart ache in the best way. And idk, if seeing some guy dressed up as Paul McCartney saying that we should focus on fun and get out our own heads and how we don’t have to stay stuck as the kids who were just scared and trying to survive, doesn’t do something for you, then we’re just very different people. 

SNL scene: okay it’s pretty much the same but the way John is sleeping on Paul was everything, it wasn’t just a head on the shoulder he was fully laying back against Paul!! 

The ending: this is just so brutal because Paul doesn’t leave the flat to get his guitar, he borrows one of John’s and so when Yoko calls and John starts doing the whole ‘I wish you were here, you’re the only one who stops me disappearing’ it’s literally…. In Paul’s face. And it hurts. Then at the very end they cut between John on the phone to Yoko and Paul on the phone to Linda, and so Paul says ‘I love you’ to Linda, then John says ‘I love you too’ to Yoko but it sounds like they said it to each other, and then Here Today plays. The fact most people didn’t appear to be crying baffled me quite frankly. 

Yoko: They decided to have Yoko be the one who actually invited Paul, which felt like an odd choice and didn’t really add anything for me, but there we go 

Okay I’m gonna shut up there because this is way too long and I doubt anyone’s read it but ahhhhhhhhh it was so good and you’re just all lucky I can’t text you because my friends have had much more incoherent versions of all this

[leahrintarou]

hii i wanted to request like enemies to lovers for dabi x fem!reader when reader is one of the villains in league and she and dabi always hated each other, or more like they love each other but won't admit a shit. and also dabi is always this rude, snarky bitch and then one day they get send together for some mission and he gets injured, like somewhere in the chest and reader has to take care of him and patch him up. and like she decides to be a bitch now and she's like paying him back and she's not gentle at all like she's even rougher than needed just because 😆. but then in the middle of the night when she has to change his bandages she just softens because she's actually worried about him and he kisses her and it's like the first time he feels love in thousands years🥺❤️

✩₊˚.⋆ I HATE YOU - dabi/touya todoroki

CW: swearing, enemies to lovers, dabi being an asshole, y/n is stubborn, they lack communication skills but figure something out in the end lol, mentions of wound stitching, injuries, dabi's daddy issues, quirk usage, a lot of arguing. Word Count: 4.7k Author's Note: hii, sorry for taking so long to write this lol. my schedule was busy as hell. i hope you all enjoy it tho! ty for reading and if you have any requests for me to write, send it in!

"hate."

it was a word that held so much meaning and although y/n wasn't the type to feel it for many things, as she looked at the man standing in her doorframe with a bored expression as she laid in bed, it was all she could feel.

"what do you want touya? im tired." she groaned into her pillow. he rolled his eyes, shoving his hands into his pockets. "shigaraki wants us to take care of something for him." he said, making y/n shift to sit up and face him properly. "together?" she questioned. dabi didn't answer and that alone make y/n feel dread in the pit of her stomach. she stood, walking to her door and pushing past dabi to find shigaraki who was sitting in the lobby of their hideout.

"tomura, you seriously sending out touya and i? it's late."

"exactly." he muttered, glancing at y/n as dabi showed up behind her. "given your quirks, i need you two to cause a distraction for me in the city. I've gotta get something from a hero guarded area. it'd be less bothersome if a few of them had to focus a bigger situation."

y/n sighed at that. her ability allowed her to use the quirks others. once she makes physical contact with them, a pill is produced and once ingested, she is able to use their quirk for up to half an hour. "why can't he just do it on his own?"

"because it wont be enough, y/n. just go and don't let you guys' odd relationship fuck anything up."

she glared at shigaraki due to his stern tone and the words he said overall. she didn't speak another words and only walked towards the exit, leaving dabi behind. she began walking off, sighing when dabi caught up next to her.

they walked shoulder to shoulder and y/n reached for his hand to which he pulled away imeedietly. "the fuck is your deal?"

"my deal is that i need your quick. stop bitching."

he gave her a look that almost burned through her being itself. "fine, whatever. just make it quick."

with a swift movement, y/n grabbed his wrist, her fingers just brushing against his skin. she felt the pill form in her palm and quickly swallowed it after placing it on her tongue. for the next thirty minutes, she had full control over dabi's blue flames.

dabi shook off her touch as soon as the transfer was done, shoving his hands back into his pockets. "hope you can handle it."

y/n clenched her fists, feeling the raw power simmering just beneath the surface. "i can handle your little fire tricks just fine."

they continued walking in silence, the tension between them thick, both preparing for the chaos they were about to unleash. the city lights ahead glowed brighter as they approached, a signal that they were nearing their destination. heroes patrolled these streets regularly, and they needed to make their distraction count.

"you take the east side. i’ll take the west. we meet back here once it's done," y/n said, her voice steady despite the adrenaline starting to pump through her veins.

dabi gave her a lazy nod, his eyes scanning the area.  "don’t burn the place down too fast." she said, voice sharp with a stern tone.

“take your own damn advice,” dabi sneered, turning on his heel without another glance, heading toward his side of the city.

y/n scowled at his retreating figure before focusing on her own task. she approached a crowded intersection, raising her hand as the blue flames sparked to life at her fingertips. they burned cold, unnatural, just like dabi’s. with a sharp flick of her wrist, she sent the fire roaring down the street, igniting everything in its path. cars exploded, storefronts erupted into flames, and terrified screams echoed through the night air.

sirens blared almost immediately. she sighed in frustration. this mission wasn’t the problem; it was having to work alongside dabi. she hated the way his flames felt inside her—too raw, too unstable. she could handle it, but the discomfort gnawed at her.

on the other side of the city, she could see dabi causing just as much destruction. his blue flames lit up the night sky, and even from a distance, she could feel their heat. as much as she despised him, she couldn’t deny the sheer force of his quirk. their fires painted the city in an eerie blue glow, chaos unfolding just as shigaraki had planned. every hero in the area would soon be rushing their way.

but despite the destruction, y/n could feel the strain. her body wasn’t built to handle dabi’s flames for too long, and each second was like a slow burn from the inside out. she clenched her teeth, refusing to show any weakness. not in front of him. never in front of him.

as another car exploded in front of her, y/n felt the flames flare uncontrollably for a moment, forcing her to stumble back. she quickly reined them in, but the effort was draining. she could hear the distant thrum of footsteps—heroes were coming, and they needed to keep the distraction going.

without warning, dabi appeared beside her, his usual bored expression replaced by a smirk that only fueled her irritation. "you’re pushing it too hard," he remarked coldly.

"i’m fine," y/n snapped, her voice sharper than intended, though there was a slight tremor beneath it.

he cocked an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "doesn’t look like it. you’re burning out."

"i said i’m fine," she repeated, venom in her tone. she forced the flames to obey her, though her body screamed in protest.

before he could say anything more, the ground around them rumbled. the heat in the air intensified, and y/n’s heart sank as she saw who had arrived—endeavor.

out of all the heroes, of course, it had to be him.

endeavor’s flames blazed brighter than anything y/n had seen, casting long shadows across the wreckage. his eyes locked onto dabi and y/n, sharp with recognition and disgust. “enough,” he barked, his voice deep and commanding. “this ends now.”

dabi’s expression darkened, but the smirk that stretched across his face was nothing short of malicious.

y/n swallowed, the tension between father and son palpable in the air. she could feel dabi’s flames still swirling inside her, unstable and dangerous. they were running out of time. they needed to keep endeavor distracted long enough for shigaraki to finish the mission, but with the fire slipping out of her control, she wasn’t sure how much longer she could hold on.

dabi moved forward, the flames on his body flickering angrily as he faced his father head-on. "you gonna try and stop me? i’d love to see you fail. again."

y/n watched as the two squared off, the heat between them almost unbearable. she could feel the pressure mounting, knowing she had to act fast, but part of her was consumed by the sheer hatred radiating from dabi. it was so intense it was suffocating. he wants this fight, she realized.

but right now, they couldn’t afford it. not with the mission still in play.

"touya, focus," she hissed under her breath, stepping up beside him. "we’re not here for this."

he barely spared her a glance, his jaw clenched. “shut up, y/n. stay out of it.”

y/n glared at him, biting back the retort that bubbled in her throat. as much as she despised him, she wasn’t about to let him throw the entire mission away for some personal grudge.

endeavor’s flames flared even brighter, his voice booming as he addressed dabi directly. "you’re not walking away from this one."

"we’ll see about that," dabi said through a sigh.

before either of them could make a move, y/n raised her hand, sending up a barrier of blue flames between dabi and endeavor. the fire crackled wildly, the heat forcing both men to step back.

“touya, get your shit together,” she snapped, glaring at him. “this isn’t about you and him right now. we’ve got a job to finish.”

dabi’s eyes widened with fury, his body rigid with anger. "are you serious right now? stay out of this, y/n. this has nothing to do with you."

“it has everything to do with me,” she shot back, her voice low. “if you screw this up, we’re both dead.”

“i’m not screwing anything up,” dabi growled, stepping toward her, his flames flaring dangerously. “you think I’m gonna pass up a chance to burn that bastard?” he gestured toward endeavor, who stood on the other side of the wall, watching them closely. "this isn’t just about some stupid distraction. it’s him."

y/n’s hands trembled slightly from the strain of maintaining the flames, but she refused to back down. “you think i care about your daddy issues right now? i’m not dying because you’ve got something to prove.”

dabi’s smirk twisted into a sneer, his voice dripping with venom. "oh, now you’re concerned about dying? cute. you can’t even handle my flames, and you want to play hero? don’t act like you can lecture me."

y/n’s temper flared. "i can handle more than you think, but i’m not stupid enough to throw everything away for some pointless grudge! shigaraki will kill us if you mess this up."

“i don’t care what shigaraki does,” dabi snarled, stepping even closer, his body practically vibrating with heat. “you think I’m afraid of him? of you? you’re out of your league, y/n. stay the hell out of my way.”

---

"touya, lets go!" she shouted. a few long minutes had passed by and both dabi and endeavor suffered injuries. y/n thought that it was just her eyes playing tricks on her, but it wasn’t. there on dabi’s chest was a large gash that spilled blood with every movement he made.

dabi didn’t even flinch, seemingly blinded by his rage. his eyes were locked onto endeavor, and the hatred burned hotter than the flames between them. y/n’s heart pounded in her chest. if they didn’t leave now, it would be too late.

“touya!” she screamed again, but her voice was lost in the roar of the fire and the madness of the fight. dabi was deaf to everything around him. his focus, his obsession with his father, drowned out any reason or sense.

just then, her phone buzzed in her pocket. she fumbled for it, hands shaking, and saw a message from

shigaraki: get out of there now. i’m done here.

her stomach dropped. they needed to leave. now.

she looked back at dabi, her gut twisting with panic. there was no way he could handle another attack in his state. endeavor was gearing up for something big—his flames surging brighter and hotter, ready to end this once and for all.

y/n didn’t even think; she reacted. she reached for dabi’s flames still coursing through her and launched herself forward. her body screamed in protest, the quirk tearing through her reserves, but she unleashed a massive wave of blue fire directly at endeavor. it wasn’t just dabi’s quirk she was using—she’d stored another teleportation quirk earlier in the week just in case. with a strained breath, she activated it.

in an instant, the world blurred, and she and dabi were pulled through space, landing back at the league’s hideout.

they collapsed on the floor. y/n's vision swam as the overwhelming strain of using both quirks at once hit her like a truck. every muscle in her body felt like it was on fire.

dabi was up almost immediately, his eyes wild and furious. “what the hell did you do?!” he roared, looming over her, his chest heaving.

y/n didn’t flinch, didn’t even respond. she just sat there, catching her breath, her eyes glazed with exhaustion and a cold, blank expression on her face.

“why the hell would you—” dabi continued, his voice a mix of anger and something else, something more vulnerable. but y/n didn’t care.

she stood, her legs shaking but her face expressionless. she looked him dead in the eye, her voice barely above a whisper but filled with a venomous calm. "hate."

dabi paused, caught off guard by the single word. his eyes narrowed, but he stayed silent.

“it’s what you live for, isn’t it?” she continued, her voice as cold as the flames she had just wielded. “but it’s going to kill you. and you were too blinded to see it.”

the silence between them was suffocating, tension hanging in the air like the weight of all their unresolved fury and pain. dabi’s lips twisted into a bitter sneer, but he didn’t respond. he couldn’t, not with the truth staring him in the face.

y/n finally turned her back to him, her voice distant as she walked away. "i’m tired, touya. i don’t care anymore."

he didn’t respond and that was unlike him. and although she didn't want it to, she turned around to glance at him. he was clutching the wounded area of his chest, the blood coating his hands. y/n stopped in her tracks and watched as he held her gaze with a heavy glare. "what?" he groaned with less heat in his voice.

"nothi-"

"they got you good." shigaraki said as he entered through the front door. dabi remained silent and y/n let out a sigh. "told you this plan was stupid." she muttered. shigaraki shrugged, holding up some sort of vile in a glass tube. "got what i needed though. thanks."

y/n shook her head and walked over to a table in their hideout where a first aid kit remained. "come on, touya." he never said a word despite their previous argument and the heated tension that remained between them and only followed behind y/n. this was surprising to her and even shigaraki. instead of questioning it though, she just decided to let it be, grateful for the silence.

they got to a nearby bathroom in the hideout, and y/n motioned for dabi to sit on the edge of the sink. "take off your shirt," she ordered, her voice flat, though she couldn’t help the slight irritation lacing her tone. dabi raised an eyebrow but said nothing, peeling off his tattered shirt to reveal the nasty gash on his chest. the wound was deep, the blood still seeping through the cracks of his burned skin.

“so fucking reckless” y/n muttered underneath her breath as she grabbed some antiseptic and gauze from the first aid kit. she didn’t wait for a response before starting to clean the wound, her hands rougher than necessary. dabi hissed in pain but didn’t pull away.

“watch it,” he growled, but there was no real heat in his words. his eyes, usually filled with spite or disinterest, softened for a brief moment as he looked at her. something shifted in his expression, like an apology he wasn’t quite ready to say aloud. instead, he settled for his usual sarcasm. "you don’t have to be so damn rough."

"oh, i’m sorry," y/n replied, her tone dripping with sarcasm as she pressed a little harder than needed on the wound. "is the fireproof bastard too delicate for a little first aid? if you didn’t want to get patched up, you shouldn’t have gone toe-to-toe with endeavor.

"i didn’t ask for your help, did i?"

"no, you didn’t. but here we are," y/n snapped, stitching up the wound with more force than was probably necessary. her fingers worked quickly, efficiently, but there was no gentleness in her touch.

dabi’s breath hitched as she tugged at the stitches. "you’re enjoying this way too much."

“maybe,” y/n replied, not looking up from her work. “or maybe i’m just pissed off because you almost got yourself killed. again.”

the room fell into a tense silence, only broken by dabi’s sharp breaths and the sound of her sewing needle pulling through his skin. but when y/n finally looked up, she caught dabi’s gaze. his eyes were softer now, not filled with the usual defiance. instead, there was something different in them, something almost�� regretful.

“what?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. "you’re staring."

“nothing,” dabi muttered, but he didn’t look away. his voice, usually laced with sarcasm or anger, was quieter now. he held her gaze for a moment longer. it wasn’t filled with the usual hate or resentment, but something else entirely. it almost looked like an apology, unspoken but there. maybe he realized just how close he’d come to death, and for once, wasn’t pushing her away.

after the final stitch, y/n wrapped the wound tightly, her hands no longer rough but steady. she didn’t say anything for a moment, just focusing on her work, and when she was done, she stood back, her eyes meeting his again. the air between them felt heavy, like there was something unspoken lingering just beneath the surface.

“you’re a reckless idiot,” she muttered, shaking her head, though her voice was softer, the anger dissipating into something more resigned.

dabi’s expression faltered, and for a moment, he just looked at her, his usual sharp retorts gone. "guess i am," he said quietly, a hint of exhaustion in his voice. "but you still patched me up, didn’t you?"

y/n crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes. "only because i wasn’t going to let you bleed out like an idiot. someone’s gotta keep you alive."

there was a beat of silence before dabi let out a breath, leaning his head back against the wall. “guess i should thank you.”

y/n scoffed. “don’t bother. just… try not to get yourself killed next time.”

dabi’s eyes flickered to hers again, and this time, there was no sarcasm or sneer, just a tired acceptance. “i’ll try.” his tone was surprisingly sincere, catching her off guard. she blinked, taken aback, but instead of saying anything, she just grabbed the bloodied cloths and turned to leave. "get some rest," she muttered, not looking back.

for once, dabi didn’t argue.

---

it was the middle of the night, and despite the quiet that had settled over the hideout, y/n couldn’t sleep. no matter how many times she turned over in bed, sleep evaded her. the events from earlier kept playing over in her mind, along with the way dabi had been uncharacteristically silent after she patched him up.

with a frustrated sigh, she finally gave up on resting and pushed herself out of bed. maybe checking on dabi would settle her thoughts. his injuries needed to be looked at again anyway, and the bandages likely needed changing. she grabbed the first aid kit and padded softly down the hall toward his room.

when she got there, the door was slightly ajar. peeking inside, she saw him lying on the bed, his defined back rising and falling with the steady rhythm of sleep. for a moment, she hesitated. dabi was never one to sleep deeply, always waking up at the slightest noise or movement. but his bandages had to be changed, and she didn’t trust him to do it himself.

quietly, she slipped into the room, closing the door softly behind her. she approached the bed, taking a seat on the edge as carefully as she could to avoid waking him. he was still, his usual guarded expression replaced by something softer in sleep. for a brief second, she allowed herself to just watch him. he always seemed so hardened, so untouchable, but like this... he looked almost human.

gently, y/n reached for the blood-stained bandages wrapped around his chest, her fingers working carefully to undo them. she peeled the old wrappings away, revealing the wound beneath. she grabbed fresh bandages from the kit, preparing to rewrap him, her movements slow and deliberate.

just as she began to wind the bandage around him again, dabi stirred. his eyes snapped open, instantly alert, and his hand shot out to grab her wrist before she could move any further. “what the hell are you doing?” he growled, his voice low and raspy from sleep.

y/n froze, meeting his gaze, her heart skipping a beat. "relax, it’s just me," she said quietly. "im checking to see if your stitches held and I've gotta change your bandages."

he blinked, still groggy but releasing her wrist. his grip loosened, and he leaned back against the pillow, eyes narrowing slightly but without the usual hostility. "im not a child. i can do that myself,” he muttered, though there wasn’t much bite to his words.

"i know, but you looked like you were going to bleed out earlier so forgive me for double-checking." she retorted, continuing to wrap the fresh bandages around his chest. her touch was gentle but firm, and dabi didn’t stop her this time, watching her work in silence.

"always playing the martyr, huh?" he mumbled after a long pause, his voice quieter now. "not a martyr. just realistic. you're reckless and you know it."

dabi was silent as she finished up. he sat up once she was done and watched as she placed the items back into the first aid kit. "why are you up so late anyways?"

"couldn’t sleep." she shrugged. dabi raised a questioning brow and she shrugged. "you expect me to sleep after everything that happened today?"

"causing chaos isn't something that you haven't done before though." he hummed, watching as she compiled all of the used bandage together to throw away. "but watching you almost get yourself killed was."

"you really care that much?"

y/n lowered her eyes at him and shook her head in pure disbelief. "no shit, touya. why would i have teleported us home? stitch up your wound, and even hours later, i come back to check on you. you sound so fucking selfish right now." she stood up, turning to walk away, but dabi reached for her wrist.

he caught it just in time, letting out a small groan from the swift movement. "what the fuck, touya. be careful." she said, placing the first aid kit down and a hand to his back. "im not selfish."

"really?" she deadpanned. "y/n, you've hated me ever since i joined the league. understand me when i get confused on whether or not you actually give a fuck when it comes to me." he ran is palm down his face, trying to fight his exhaustion.

"i can say the same for you." y/n spoke.

"i only return the attitude that's given to me." dabi said, staring at y/n as she tried to read his features but he gave her nothing to work with other than an emotionless expression. "i don't hate you."

"so what do you feel, y/n? you're not making sense."

she stared at him and they held eye contact. y/n let down whatever guards she had up in hopes that dabi can read what she was trying to tell him. he was good at that whether she liked it or not. "say it." he finally said. y/n figured that he got the idea in just mere seconds.

"no." she shook her head with a scoff. "i hate the fact that i feel it for you anyways. I'm not going to speak it into reality."

dabi’s grip on y/n’s wrist loosened as he let out a low chuckle, shaking his head slightly. “you really think not saying it makes a difference? you’ve already given yourself away, y/n.”

y/n’s eyes flashed with irritation. “you don’t get it. saying it makes it real, and i can’t deal with that right now.”

dabi scoffed, leaning back on the bed, his eyes narrowing as he looked up at her. “oh, spare me the drama. you think i don’t know how you feel? you act like you’re the only one here who’s conflicted.”

y/n glared at him, yanking her wrist free. “conflicted? you? you barely even acknowledge when people care about you. you’re reckless with your life, like nothing matters, and you think i’m the one being dramatic?” her voice rose, frustration bubbling over.

dabi sat up straighter, his gaze sharp and unyielding. “don’t pretend like you’ve been so open about your feelings either, y/n. you’ve spent most of your time pushing me away or acting like you couldn’t care less. and now, when it actually matters, you wanna play the martyr?”

her hands clenched into fists at her sides. “i’m not playing anything, touya! you’re impossible to deal with. you push everyone away, you never let anyone in, and now you have the nerve to act like i’m the problem?”

dabi’s expression hardened, his eyes flashing with anger. “you really think you’ve got me all figured out, huh? like you’re the only one who’s allowed to have their guard up? newsflash, y/n, you’re not as mysterious as you think.”

y/n’s frustration boiled over as she crossed her arms and shot him a withering glare. “then what do you want from me, touya? huh? what is it you actually want? because all you ever do is act like nothing gets to you!”

dabi stood up abruptly, towering over her as the tension between them thickened. “you think it’s easy for me to be like this? you think i enjoy pushing people away?” his voice was low, dangerous, his eyes blazing with a mix of frustration and something else y/n couldn’t quite place.

her heart pounded in her chest, but she refused to back down. “then stop doing it! stop acting like you don’t care about anyone or anything!”

“i care more than you think!” dabi snapped, taking a step closer. “but you—you’re always so busy pretending you don’t want this, like it’s all some burden for you!”

y/n’s pulse quickened, her frustration and confusion mounting. “i never said i didn’t want—”

before she could finish, dabi’s hands shot up to either side of her face, pulling her in roughly. his lips crashed against hers with a sudden, fierce intensity that stole the breath from her lungs. the kiss was aggressive, meant to shut her up, and y/n’s mind went blank as every thought evaporated under the force of it.

her body reacted before she could process what was happening, her hands gripping the front of his shirt, pulling him closer even as her heart raced with the shock of it all.

dabi’s lips moved against hers, demanding and relentless, and she found herself kissing him back just as fiercely, pouring all her pent-up anger and frustration into the kiss. it was heated, messy, and full of everything they couldn’t say out loud.

he pulled back for a brief moment, their breaths mingling as he muttered, “you talk too damn much.”

before she could respond, he kissed her again, cutting off any retort she might’ve had. his hands slid from her face to her waist, gripping her tightly as if he couldn’t stand to let her go. the anger between them melted into something else entirely—something raw and consuming.

y/n’s heart hammered in her chest as she kissed him back, her hands finding their way to his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair. the argument, the tension, all of it faded into the background as they lost themselves in the intensity of the moment.

when they finally pulled apart, both of them were breathless, their foreheads resting against each other. dabi’s grip on her waist remained firm as he stared down at her, his expression softening just slightly.

“maybe i don’t want you to shut up,” he muttered, his voice low and rough, “but you make it hard to think.”

y/n’s lips parted, still swollen from the kiss, her breath coming in shallow bursts. “then maybe you should start listening,” she whispered, her voice shaky but steady.

dabi let out a low chuckle, his thumb brushing lightly against her hip. “yeah, maybe.” his voice dropped even lower as he added, “but that doesn’t mean i’m done shutting you up.”

with that, he pulled her back into another kiss, this one slower but no less intense, as if he was determined to make sure she knew exactly how he felt, even if neither of them were ready to say the words just yet.

she pulled back for a breath, her forehead meeting with his shoulder as she closed her eyes.

"i hate you, touya."

"then hate me more."

got a request? send it in and i'll write it :D

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[writingsofwesteros]

can i request something about mean jacaerys? Like either a dragonseed or alicents daughter where he loses his temper and they have really rough sex where he gets kind of degrading and then at the end gets sort of possesive? thank you so much sorry if thats not a lot to go on!!

AN: Hi, I hope you like it x

NSFW

“I could throw you to them,” Jace grunted in your ear; his weight completely on top of you now. “All of those mongrels outside.” The Prince only continued to taunt you, “I bet they would adore ruining a Princess of the realm, hmm?” Of course, no words could escape you as his fat cock pushed deep with his hips rocking without care. Those bright locks of yours like a halo around your head as he reaches for the headboard in need of leverage. The night had been long already with his cum already flooding you with ease and he still had more to give. The bruises would move over your body in the morning, you were sure of it. Just as every other time he had taken you.

“I think you would like it too,” Jace taunted you some more as he whispered into your ear before pressing open mouthed kisses down your neck. “Please…” You hardly knew what you were begging for as your stomach began to tighten in pleasure. Your sweet, creamy pussy clamping down at his words and actions. The act only had Jace chuckling in your ear. “Such a little whore I have,” Jace tugged on your thick locks; bringing you against his body as his lips passionately captured your own. His tongue danced with your own as he dominated you without care. It was not as if you could fight him. No, you had learnt that lesson. His free hand moved towards your fat cheeks as he roughly palmed at you.

As ever a ring of cream formed around his thick length, which only had Jace smirking even more. Gods, you were just too delicious for your own good. Jace enjoyed ruining you as he thought of your brother’s taunts that had always come his way. His hand came down on your arse once more; the redness returning as you whined his name so prettily. Jace couldn’t help but do it again. You cried his name out as your body only shook with the intense pleasure coursing through you. His hot mouth moved down your chest; pressing bites on those ample breasts of yours. Gods, he could not wait until they leaked with milk. His cock twitched against your gummy walls at the thought.

It only took another thrust or two and your climax was ripping through you with ease. Jace could only grunt at how tight you became. His length was completely coated in your wetness, which had the obscene sounds echoing in his chambers some more. “Fuck, you are so sensitive.” Jace whined as his thrusts slowly came to a stop. You were too tight for him to push in and out - for now. His hand snaked around your body as he roughly palmed at your sweet, ample breast. “Such a good girl for me.” Jace whispered his praises that only caused you to shiver. His cock twitched against you once more whilst his thick cock only became more soaked with your wetness. His mouth began to water at the erotic sight.

A shiver ran down your spine as you slowly turned to look over your shoulder; your face a mess and Jace only began to thrust some more. Jace had such hunger for her and his own release was yet to come and all you could do was take it like the good, little Princess you were. His hand slowly moved towards your stomach now; pressing against the bulge whilst you shook against him. Gods, you were so sensitive; it was hard to keep your mind clear as he pushed deeper again and again. “Do you think your mother will take you back now?” Jace taunted; dark amusement dripping in his tone with ease. His thicker fingers soon pushed against your tongue as your drooling coated them without thought. 

Sweetly, you began to suck on them as Jace’s grunts of pleasure began to echo in your ear and his thrusts only quickened. His own stomach began to tighten now as his free hand moved to reach for the headboard again. The change of position only pushed him deeper; your sweet, spongy spot being teased without mercy. Gods, he would forever have you in his bed and a part of Jace knew that he would now. There was no giving you back. A dark smirk tugged on his lips at the mere thought, especially when you were going to be with child soon enough, he thought to himself. That thought alone was enough to push him over the edge. 

Your sweet moans were music to his ears as his cum flooded you without care or warning. Your toes curled as you reached for his curly locks to tug on. His thrusts began to slow now as he pushed deeper and finally stayed there. His hand moved to cup your sweet, ample breast. His thumb brushed over your sensitive breast as he rested upon you. “You are mine,” Jace whispered into her ear whilst his free hand only roughly palmed at your breast some more. You only whimpered in reply as finally your eyes locked with him. A shine of sweat over both your bodies that glistened under the candle light. “Jace…” Softly you began to speak but the Prince was in no mood to listen.

“Shhh, there is no need to speak.” The Prince whispered against your ear and you knew it was an order. His soft lips began to press down your neck, gently marking you as if the noises he had forced from you were not enough to stake his claim. You hated how your body began to melt back into him as his muscled arms wrapped around your body. Your mouth watering scent brushed over him as Jace’s doe eyes began to flutter. Gods, he desired to stay here forever. The Prince would make sure that happened; even if he had to tie you to him. His cock twitched at the mere thought as images flashed through his mind. Your moans only came back at the feel of him against your gummy walls.

Jace leaned in and passionately captured your lips once more; pushing in his tongue without invitation as you moaned against him. He nibbled at your bottom lip as you tugged on those curls of his once more as your desire only grew. The Prince only smirked against your neck as your body slowly began to rock against him.

[godmadeaterribleerror]

Chapter 18 - Something In The Static

Series Masterlist

Author's Note: I’d like to dedicate this chapter to my friend who I finally got to watch the Boys and we’re talking about Soldier Boy and I have to pretend I’m not doing this and be very normal about the conversation.

Also for everyone who's gonna say “why is Ezekiel alive”, Butcher never went all tentacle tumor on us, and therefore Ezekiel is still very much alive. “Well how did Butcher survive their encounter” idk maybe he kissed Ezekiel and then just ran away.

Chapter Title from Not Strong Enough by boygenius

Word Count: 25.7k......

Chapter Summary/Warnings: The Believe Expo is underway, and everyone is dealing with a lot of emotions. Usual warnings, time two. We're looking at angst and smut and (minimal) fluff. Just a hodgepodge of everything.

Read on A03!

Chapter 17 - Chapter 19

Coconut might be the worst smell in the world. Not real coconut, but this fake, chemical coconut that was everywhere in Homelander’s apartment. Everywhere on Homelander. Too sweet and impossible to not think about. It burns your nose, and you’re starting to wonder if it’s some kind of poison cologne. Something designed to make him even harder to stand against, because you always have to use a hand to block the smell from your nose. You’d never smelled it in the white room, but Homelander always went through an airlock before he visited you. This is just him, all the time, and you’re choking on it. 

He still hadn’t touched you. And they hadn’t locked you back down. You think that, between Noir’s sudden and heroic death very vaguely “defending our country” and the the CIA releasing a statement that you’re being held against your will by Vought—you’re surprised Mallory didn’t take the disavowing you entirely path, but here you are—Sage is too busy putting out fires to convince Homelander that you didn’t break that easy. That, after Noir II, you’d gotten back up. Revised your role, changing how you played it, and kept moving. You would not break, not like this, not where Homelander could see it. He didn’t fucking deserve to see you break, really break. He could think he’d gotten you to understand, but you would never allow him to see what you breaking really looked like.

You would break—really break, with screams and sobs and nails in your skin and not getting back up—when you got home. When you could cry into Ben’s chest, and he could keep your nails on his arm instead of your own. He’d pick you up. He’d pick you up in strong, safe arms and carry you to bed, holding you as long you asked him to. Everything would smell like pine and Ben, and you’d be able to break without the freezing cold making you glue yourself together. You’d just break. 

But not now. Not yet.

Not when there was still work to do.

A-Train had found you a few days after Noir II, after the CIA had responded to your speech. An official statement from the director, co-signed by president Robert Singer, stating that Soldier Boy was indeed a CIA operative, that Vought had no jurisdiction to declare him a public enemy, and that the Anomaly was currently being tortured by Vought to comply with their agenda. They didn’t say the whole truth, because according to them you and Ben were co-workers—nothing more—and Homelander had been obsessed with you since you were both young supes but you’d turned him down numerous times. You wish they had just committed to it. Just told the world what Homelander was, what he’d done to you, but the truth did somehow sound more absurd. And right now wasn’t about the truth, it was about doing what needed to be done. You had to trust that Mallory was smart. That she knew what she was doing. 

It would be really helpful if A-Train had a similar leniency. 

“What are they doing?” He’d skidded to a stop in front of you again, in another too-fancy bathroom at another boring event. 

You’d held up a single finger, taking a long, deep breath. You were curled up on the floor, under a hand-dryer that you kept pushing the button of to make the warm air blast onto your head. It was helpful, it made you feel a little more alive and was a lot more sustainable than constant vomiting. 

A-Train had just kept talking, pacing in front of you. “Sage is really not happy, there’s no fucking way I can risk talking to MM now. That was not smart, that shit you did on TV. You know why Sage isn’t here? The Deep went to a fucking Panera last night without telling anyone and Sage is pulling camera footage to make sure he’s telling the truth. And Noir is dead-“ 

“Can you please shut up?” You’d muttered, tapping against your calves. “I know what I did. I knew there would be consequences. I’m willing to live with them.” 

“Well, I’m not!” A-Train’s feet had stopped in front of you, and you’d reached up to hit the button again. Letting the hot air push on the top of your head, calming you as he continued. “This isn’t just about you, you’re not the only one who’s suffering-“ 

“I could say the same to you.” 

“Come on-“ 

“I’m serious,” you’d looked up at him with a scowl as the wind above you stopped once more. “This is good. Ben can help them now, Annie has more fuel against Vought, and Butcher and Mallory will know how to work this.” 

“Fine, but I’m not helping you at all if you keep this shit up,” A-Train had snapped your name. “I’ve got people, I can’t risk my nephews for this-“ 

“Okay.” 

He’d blinked at you. “Okay? That’s it?” 

“Yeah. Okay.” You’d shrugged. “I can’t make you help me. If you won’t, you won’t. I can handle this myself.” 

“You’re really not going to lecture me about being a hero, or doing the right thing?” 

You’d shaken your head, looking back down at the floor. “I don’t really have legs to stand on there. I got Noir II killed, I killed Firecracker, I’ve destroyed at least two buildings and gotten a lot of other, innocent people killed by proximity. I mean, fuck, I’m in love with Soldier Boy-“ 

You hadn’t meant to say that. It had fallen out of your mouth and you’d stuttered to a stop, but it was too late. When you looked back up at A-Train, his mouth was hanging open. 

“You-“ 

“Please don’t tell anyone that,” you’d whispered. “I didn’t mean to tell you that, I’m just exhausted-“ 

“I’m not going to.” A-Train had still been frowning at you. “I mean, I don’t really care about your personal shit. Even if it’s being in love with Soldier Boy.” A-Train had frowned. “Isn’t he technically Homelander’s father?” 

“Yeah,” you’d leaned your head back against the wall. “And I’m aware of how fucked up that is.” 

A-Train had shrugged. “All of this is fucked. I don’t think you fucking Soldier Boy is any less fucked than anything else we’ve all done.” 

“We’ve never actually fucked,” you’d mumbled, because you couldn’t stop now. In no world had you foreseen the I’m very in love with Ben and it’s all impossibly confusing and complicated conversation happening in a fancy bathroom with A-Train, but you had started it and now you were apparently incapable of stopping it. “I mean, we’ve done stuff. But not fucking.” 

“Okay.” A-Train had frowned. “Why the fuck are you telling me that?” 

“Because I’m lonely.” You’d looked up at him with a sad smile. “And you’re here.” 

He’d nodded, then moved away. You’d thought he’d left, just pissed off because he didn’t want to deal with this. But he’d dropped against the wall across from you with a sigh, pulling off his visor to meet your eyes. “How long?” 

You’d frowned at him. “How long?” 

“Have you and Soldier Boy been not fucking.” 

“February. But, uh,” you’d shaken your head. “I think I might have been in love with him before that.” 

“Okay,” A-Train had nodded, and kept going. “Does Homelander-“ 

“He found out after the interview. Sage told him.” 

“And your team-“ 

“I’m not sure. They know we’re close, and maybe some of them have figured out it’s more than that, but I’m really not sure.” You’d tilted your head at him. “Why are we talking about this?” 

“I don’t exactly have a lot of friends either.” A-Train muttered. “I killed the only woman I’ve ever loved because Homelander told me to, Sage is a bitch, and the Deep is an idiot. Ashley’s fine, sometimes, but we don’t exactly talk about things that aren’t life or death.” 

“Oh,” you’d nodded. “Okay.” 

It had been silent for a second, both of you watching each other wearily. 

“Does he know?” 

You’d blinked. “Who?” 

“Soldier Boy. Does he know you love him?” 

“No,” your voice had cracked a little, a lump forming in your throat. “It’s complicated.” 

“Does he love you?” 

“No.” 

A-Train had blinked at your answer. “You said that really fast.” 

“He doesn’t,” you’d let out a long breath before continuing. “I’m okay with it. He just doesn’t and it’s fine.” 

He’d looked like he’d wanted to keep pushing. You’re grateful he didn’t, because if you kept talking about Ben you might have started crying. 

“I, uh,” A-Train had shaken his head, foot tapping on the floor. “When I was a kid I wanted to be a hero. Just, while we’re talking about fucked shit, I wanted to be a hero. A real hero. My brother said I could help people, and I really did believe him. And then I just, I got lost. It’s a shit ton harder to be a hero when it’s not just a word. When you actually have to back it up and nobody around you seems to care. Now it’s probably too fuckin late.” 

“I don’t think it’s ever too late,” you’d watched him carefully, speaking slowly. “You can always change. Humans aren’t static. We’re always changing. It’s a strange kind of exceptionalism to think you’re immune to that. To think you’re special enough to not be capable of being better.” 

A-Train had narrowed his eyes at you. “What are you talking about.”

“I dedicated my whole life before this to studying people,” you’d held his gaze, not wavering on your words. “And you realize pretty fast that concepts of good and bad are different across the world. It’s not something that’s fixed, because people aren’t fixed. We’re not born good or bad. We are who we are, who we’ll be, but we also make choices. I mean,” you’d shrugged. “You can keep doing good things, or bad things, or nothing at all. But you’re never incapable of doing something different. If you think you can’t, it’s because you think you’re too good to be better. But everyone is always capable of being better.” 

“Like Soldier Boy?” 

“Like Ben,” you’d whispered. “He’s better. And he’s good. Really good.” 

“And you really love him?” 

You’d swallowed. “Yeah. A lot.” 

A-Train had nodded. “You think he’ll be waiting for you?” 

“Yes.” You’d answered without hesitation. Ben may not love you, but he’d never leave you. If you knew one thing in all of this, it was that Ben would never leave you. “He will.” 

“Then what?” 

You’d frowned at him. “What are you talking about?” 

“When this is over. If you win,” A-Train had shrugged. “Then what?” 

“I,” you’d shaken your head. “I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far ahead.” 

“You have to have a reason you’re still going,” A-Train had leaned forward slightly. “It can’t just be because you’re a fucking good person.” 

“I’m not-“ 

“Yeah, you are.” A-Train had rolled his eyes. “You’re better than me, than all of us. Congratulations, you did it. You won the stupid contest.”

“I didn’t-”

He’d kept going, ignoring your protest. “But you have to have something you want. Everyone has something they want. That’s how this shit gets out of control.” He’d sighed. “You get promised the thing you want and never fully get it. Then it’s never enough.” 

“I don’t have anything I want,” you’d mumbled. “Just for this to be over.” 

“After that,” A-Train had snapped. “You’ve got to think of after. Otherwise you’ll just burn out.” 

“Butcher-“ 

“Is a vengeance fueled asshole. That dude might not have an after. I want my family back. So does MM. Hughie and Annie probably want a peaceful, boring fucking life. Ashley wants a year at a spa. What do you want.” 

You’d swallowed. “I don’t know.” 

“Think about it. What did you want before?”

“To do something important,” you’d said softly, rubbing circles against your arms. “Have a job where I helped people, where I was respected in my field. Then go home to someone who loved me, who I’d built a life with. A life that was mine.”

“Then do that. When this is all finally fucking done, build a life.” 

“I can’t,” you’d shaken your head, eyes blurred from tears. “I wanted to get married. I wanted a job. I wanted kids.” You choke slightly. “I don’t, I can’t be sure any of that is even possible anymore. Not after this.” 

“You can do whatever you want.” A-Train’s voice had been sharp. “Don’t let all these assholes control you, change how you live your life. You can do all that, or none of it, but you do it.” He’d sighed. “Don’t let them make you lose people. Lose happiness. They don’t deserve to have that kind of control over you.” 

“Thank you,” you’d smiled softly, and he’d shrugged. 

“Sure.” 

You’d given a dry laugh. “They really just fuck everything up, don’t they.” 

“Fucking everything,” A-Train had nodded with a small smile that had fallen fast. “I still can’t help you. Not like you asked. My family-“ 

“It’s fine,” you’d met his eyes with a sigh. “I’ll find something else.” 

“You’re serious?” 

“Yeah,” you’d shrugged. “I can move things around, find another way. You can still help.” You’d given him a tight smile. “You can be better. But you should leave the bathroom. They might start looking for us soon.” 

He’d nodded and stood, giving you one last look before leaving. “Thanks.” 

“No problem.” 

The air whooshed, and you were alone on the floor of the bathroom again. 

We could go to Rome, Ben’s voice had hummed around you. When all this shit is over, we can always go to fucking Rome. 

I’d love to go to Rome. You’d smiled into the empty air around you. I’d love anywhere, as long as you were there. 

Because you love me. 

Because I love you. You’d leaned back again, hitting the button above you one last time. Ben, really I love you. It’s kind of stupid how much I love you. 

Are you ever actually going to fucking tell me that? 

Maybe. You’d sighed. Maybe one day in a million years I’ll grow some balls and tell you. 

What would you say? 

It doesn’t matter. 

Shut the fuck up. When you tell me you love me, which you will because you’re not a pussy, what are you going to say. 

Benjamin. 

Don’t Benjamin me, I’m fucking helping. 

You’re not real.

So you can fucking tell me. If I’m not real it won’t goddamn matter. 

The air turned off, and the bathroom had still been empty. 

You’d started to hum. A simple love song, just so you could see his face. Look at him. 

He was so fucking handsome. You'd almost started crying because he was right there, tall and broad and standing in front of you, grinning at you but not real. You couldn’t feel him, not really, because your sensory manipulation didn’t extend to emotion. So you could grab Fake Ben’s hand and feel his warm skin but not him. You couldn’t feel Ben, strong and resolved and everything. But you could smell pine, and feel his hand trace along your jaw. You could grab it and hold it there—let Fake Ben trace circles on your cheek with his thumb—and try to pretend it was real. Pretend it was enough. 

I love you. Your words had to stay in your head, because if you stopped humming to talk aloud Fake Ben would disappear and you needed to keep looking at him. I love you like the ocean loves the moon and the sun loves the stars. I love you like the birds want to sing and the caterpillar longs to be a butterfly. I love you like the grass loves the rain and the lighting loves the thunder. Like the flower loves the bee and the snail loves its shell. I love you like you’re music I get to sing and light I get to eat. I love you like the spiderweb loves the spider and the grave loves the flowers. I love you like a mirror loves to shatter and the alter loves the blood. I love you like the devil loves fire and like god loves the devil. I love you, Ben. I love you, I love you, I love you. I’ll love you until all the world is scattered across the sky and we’re both trapped in the spaces that remain between. I’ll love you until my voice is gone and my heart is only still beating because you’re holding it. I’ll love you until everything is burning away and it’s just you and me. If they find a way to kill us I’ll love you as a ghost and my skeleton will keep one hand on yours. I love you because all my bones and muscles fit in with your bones and muscles, and because my soul is mine but it’s stronger when it’s yours as well. I love you, Ben. I love you. 

You’d cried. No sobs wracking your body, but small tears you couldn’t hold in. Tears you’d let Fake Ben wipe away before you’d had to let him go, and then wiped again yourself because they were real, and he hadn’t been. And you’d returned to Homelander, smiled through the party in a green velvet dress that didn’t fit and said words you didn’t mean. Let Homelander herd you wherever he wanted and kept your head together. Taken in even breaths of horrible coconut and smiled with no teeth at people with eyes like monsters. Looking at you like you were a prey that they couldn’t have because the apex predator had decided you were his. 

You didn’t throw up that night. You’d stared into the dark, cold air and talked to the phantom of Ben trapped in your head. 

And you’d sat in the fire. Not alight under your skin, but pulsing in a small, warm ember. Awake. Growing. 

By the time you’re sat in the Seven’s meeting room, with all four remaining members and Ashley, it was stronger. Beginning to smoke along your veins. 

“We’ll all be attending the Believe Expo tomorrow,” Sage’s arms are crossed as she glares around the table. “It’s important to appear as a unified front, and this is our primary base. Many non-christian supporters will be in attendance this year, as the association between Homelander and Christianity is becoming interchangeable in the public eye. Which also means we’re leaning away from actual biblical rhetoric, and into our own narrative. We can’t completely disavow the religious aspect, so we’ll have to walk a careful line between not alienating the new people and indoctrinating the old ones. Everyone will get their scripts tonight.” 

The Deep raises his hand, and Sage rolls her eyes but nods for him to speak. 

“Uh, aren’t they going to notice if a,” he frowns at Sage, looking her up and down. “Muslim is leading the Christ Show?” 

“No, because I’m an atheist, dumbass.” Sage snaps. “And I can recite the bible from front to back. All you have to do is show up, do what I tell you, and not say you’re in love with an octopus again. Understood?” 

The Deep looks at Homelander for an order to say yes or no, but Homelander’s not paying attention. He’s staring up at you, standing where he’d told you to. Silently at his side, like a statue he’d collected. When The Deep coughs, Homelander scoffs and waves a hand. 

“Just do whatever the woman fucking tells you to.” 

“Yes, sir.” The Deep nods, and then gives Sage a nervous look. 

Homelander is still staring at you. 

“Sage,” he says slowly. Not looking away. “I want to see her script.” 

“I haven’t written her one,” Sage glares at you. “Anomaly will be on stage for your speech at the end of the program, and you’ll kiss her. That’s her role.” 

Your nails dig into your wrist, both held behind your back. Breathe. You just have to breathe and get through this and not break. One kiss will not break you. One touch will not open the floodgates. You can’t scream or run because you’ll lose. You can breathe now and fall apart later. 

Homelander says your name, and it makes your skin itch. “Is going to give a speech. The people need to care about her, especially with the CIA and Starlight spewing all those fucking lies about her. About us. 

Sage shakes her head. “Homelander-“ 

He turns, shooting her a sharp glare. “I’m not fucking asking. Write her a speech.” 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Sage says cooly. “Not after-“ 

“I dealt with that,” Homelander’s voice raises slightly, and Sage falls silent. She doesn’t flinch, but she doesn’t keep pushing either. “I am telling you that you are going to write her a speech. You can either do it yourself, or I’ll have those fucking idiot writers do it for you.” 

Sage’s eyes narrow, but she nods. “Fine.” 

Homelander nods, looking back to you. “Sage?” 

She sighs. “What.” 

“Make it about love.” He smiles at you, and nothing has ever been harder than smiling back. 

The first thing you learn about the Believe Expo—something that until two weeks ago you’d been pretty certain wasn’t a thing anymore—is that it’s loud. Everything is so loud. Homelander flies you there through the cold mist and wind of the morning before telling you to practice your speech and shooting back up into the sky. They’re only setting up—workers dressed in black adjusting lights and testing speakers that ring screeching feedback through the air—and it’s already too much. People are moving everywhere, marking spots on the stage floor and arranging seats and trying to get cloth covers to stay on the tables. You’re lost in how loud it is, and almost get run over by a man carrying a large box that spills out cables as it collides with you. 

“Fuck!” You flinch at his shout, dropping down to help gather the wires scattered across the damp grass as he continues. “Goddamnit girl, we’re already behind schedule, I don’t have the fucking time-“ 

You look up at him to apologize, and he freezes. “I’m-“ 

“It’s fine,” he mumbles, almost pushing you away from the mess. “I’m sorry I yelled, ma’am. I promise there won’t be any delays for the event.” 

You blink at him, rubbing his neck and refusing to meet your eyes, but before you can ask any questions someone taps on your shoulder and says your name. 

“Thank fuck I found you, your trailer is ready.” 

“My trailer?“ You turn to see Ashely, holding a clipboard and tapping her foot. Looking around at the stage work with a tense expression. “Ashley, I don’t-“ 

“I’ll show you where it is. And don’t clean that up, it’s not your job.” 

“But-“ 

“You!” She points her pencil at a woman standing off the side, holding a coffee. “Clean this up, now.” 

“Ma’am, I’m uh, I’m on break-“ 

“I don’t fucking care, clean it! And you-“ Ashley’s glare turns back to you, still crouched on the ground. “Let’s go.” 

She grabs your arms and starts to pull you up, and something wraps around your throat and hands, trying to squeeze all the oxygen out of your body. Everything is sharp, too sharp, moving too fast and yet not fast enough. 

You yank your arm away the moment you’re on your feet, half because you don’t think Ashley remembers you can feel her and half because that was completely unbearable. You follow her off the stage, waiting until you’re out of the crews’ earshot to quicken your pace, walking at her side and speaking in a low voice. 

“You shouldn’t touch me, Ashley.” 

“What?” She shoots you a quick glare. “Don’t be dramatic, I was just helping you stand up-“ 

“You touched me. Your hand touched my arm. I felt you.” 

“So? It’s not like I-“

“Ashley.” You stop walking and wait for her to turn around. “I felt you.” 

“What the fuck are-“ Her angry expression falls, her face goes pale “Oh, I, I forgot, fuck-“ 

“It’s fine,” you say quickly. “I mean, it’s not a big deal. You just, uh, you shouldn’t touch me.” 

“I didn’t mean to, I’m- shit! I-“ 

“I’m not mad,” you frown at her. “I’m just reminding you. Don’t touch me unless you’re okay with me feeling it.” 

She nods tightly, hands pulling at her hair, and swallows before speaking. “Don’t tell Homelander I touched you. He doesn’t want us to touch you.” 

You feel the cold bloom inside you again, but manage to push it down. Give Ashley a tight nod. “I won’t.” 

“Can we go to the trailer now?” She looks down at the clipboard. “Fuck, we were supposed to be at the trailer five minutes ago-“ 

“Where is it?” 

“Just over there, but-“ 

“I can find it.” You start to walk away, in the general direction Ashley had pointed, but she calls your name and you stop. “What-“ 

“We’re not supposed to leave you on your own.” She’s tugging at her hair still, looking between you and the clipboard. “I technically should’ve been there when Homelander dropped you off-“ 

“I’m not going to run away, Ashely.” You sigh. “Please, just go do whatever you need to.” 

She looks like she might protest for a second, but looks back at the clipboard and gives a tight nod. “Okay. Go.“ 

“Great.” You start to turn again, but Ashley calls your name again. 

“What-“ 

“Um, thanks.” She mutters, gives you a tense smile. “And please, don’t try to fucking escape-“

“I won’t. I can’t.” You turn, and finally manage to get away before Ashley can see the anguish on your face. 

You could escape, Sunshine. Ben’s voice carries on the wind. Or I could come fucking get you. 

We’ve had this conversation. You can’t come get me, they’ll put you back under. 

I don’t give a shit. You should be home. With me. 

I know, but I can’t. Not yet. 

You fucking should, though. This is some insane, cum guzzling bullshit. And you are not fucking kissing Homelander. 

I’m not exactly thrilled about it either, Benjamin. 

Not for me, brat. Because he’s a fucking pussy who shouldn’t be allowed within a million miles of you. 

You have to stop your internal fight with Ben’s voice, because you reach the trailer and are immediately surrounded by people doing your hair and makeup, shoving Sage’s script into your hands for you to memorize. There will be a teleprompter, because Sage isn’t an idiot who thinks the Deep will remember anything for more than fifteen minutes—let alone a whole script from the time he’s in his trailer to four hours later when he’s on stage—but you still want to read it. To know what’s coming. 

It’s what you expected in its entirety. A lot of propaganda. A lot of lies. A lot of anecdotes that never happened and some musings about love that sound like a sociopath wrote them. I love Homelander because he completes me. I see us in every great romance in history. He is the thing that gets me up in the morning. 

You can hear the crowd outside now. People start to filter into the venue, more and more in larger and larger waves until the trailer feels as if it’s shaking. 

But you manage to keep it together. To keep reading as your finger taps on the chair and a blonde woman you’ve never seen before—and will likely never see again—pins your hair tight against your head and applies chemicals that would probably burn your scalp if you didn’t heal in that same second. 

I want to start a family with him. Lead the best life we can together. 

You put the script down, and once your hair and makeup team is gone you scramble to the trash can and empty the bile of your stomach until you can breathe. 

You just have to get through this. You just have to keep moving. 

They’d put you back in the supe costume. It’s better fitted than last time, but still just hideous. Uncomfortable and impractical and ugly. It feels wrong on your body, not just because it’s showing too much skin and the lace is scratching at your skin but because it’s not you. Supe costumes in general are dumb, because it’s not an outfit on a person, it’s a label on a product. Ben’s lucky he has a stupid handsome face that makes him attractive in everything or you’d have made fun of him ruthlessly about his own. 

You still fucking did that. You said I looked like a Christmas tree that’s been sent to war on the draft. 

And I’ve have said more if I didn’t want to climb that tree and let it fuck me. 

You called me an R rated G.I. Joe Doll. 

You are an R rate G.I. Joe Doll, Pretty Boy. I was being accurate and poetic. 

Brat. 

Cunt. 

You take a long breath, and grab the script again. Just get through this. You’ll break later, but right now you have to get through this. 

I’m excited to lead a great life with Homelander, for our love story to be remembered as one from a fairytale. Because he is my prince, my white knight who saved me from the dark. Homelander you’re my soulmate- 

Soulmate my fucking blue balls. Ben’s voice mutters in your head, and you can almost see his scowl. The pussy doesn’t even like you. 

Soulmates aren’t real, Ben. 

Still, you’re not his damn soulmate. 

Well, I’m not yours. Or anyones. Because soulmates aren’t real. 

But you love me. 

I do. That doesn’t mean we’re soulmates. You don’t even love me, Benjamin. Something hurts deep, deep inside you and against your skull. I think soulmates, if they were real, which they aren’t, are both supposed to love each other. 

Inside your chest, something pounds and beats against your lungs and ribs. Something powerful and bloody and desperate. The slight blur of the world vanishes—you hadn’t even noticed it before—and everything is clear and warm and angry. 

Why are you so fucking sure I don’t love you? 

What? 

You keep telling me I don’t love you. What makes you so damn positive? 

You don’t. 

I do. 

You blink into the empty trailer. No, you don’t. 

I fucking do. The thing inside you rages, and you’re not sure if it’s yours or not. You’re not touching anybody, and it doesn’t feel foreign or out of place inside you. But you’ve never felt something like this. It’s focused and pious and entirely made of something monstrous that you can’t name. It’s not dangerous, nothing about it feels dangerous—it reminds you of Ben, and he’d never hurt you—but it’s still the most intensely starved and insatiable feeling you’ve ever experienced. 

No, even in your head your voice is slow and confused. You don’t. 

You’re not the fucking boss of me.

I am literally the fucking boss of you. I am the government-appointed boss of you. 

I think they stripped that title from you when they realized we didn’t exactly have an appropriate boss-employee relationship, Sunshine. 

Fuck you. 

You did, that was the problem. 

You watch too much porn, Pretty Boy. I’m not a boss fucking her secretary and causing a scandal. 

I wasn’t your fucking secretary. 

Good thing, too. You’d have been terrible at it. I’d have asked you to check my calendar and you’d have destroyed the computer. 

You wouldn’t have been too mad about it. I’d have fucked your brains out on the desk and you’d have forgiven me. 

I would not have forgiven you. Computers are expensive. 

Then I’d buy you a damn new one, then fucked your brains out. And then you’d have forgiven me. Because I’d have told you I love you, and you’d have cum all over my cock, and you’d forgive me. 

You think your heart stops for a second, restarting with the jolt of that strange feeling in your chest. In your head your voice is breathless. Ben, please stop saying that. 

No. 

You don’t love me- 

I fucking do. 

No, you don’t. This feels like a strange hill for you to die on, convincing the phantom voice in your head of the man you love that he doesn’t love you back. But you press on. Stop saying that you do. It’s mean. 

Why the hell is it mean. Saying that I love you is the opposite of damn mean- 

Because I really, really, love you! And it’s mean to lie to me and try and convince me that Real Ben might love me! 

The thing roars inside you. What- 

The door to the trailer opens, and Ashley walks in without warning, eyes glued to her phone. The thing in you flares, and then it’s gone. 

“You’re on,” she looks up, giving you a once over before her eyes land on the abandoned script at your feet. “Did you read it?” 

You kind of read it. You didn’t finish it, but you’ve got the gist, so you nod. 

“Good,” Ashley looks back to her phone. “Are you ready?” 

You nod again, pulling yourself up from the floor, and are about to walk out the door when Ashley holds out an arm to block your path. You almost run into it, and you both flinch back, Ashley nearly dropping her phone. 

“You need to wear your disguise,” she says quickly, pulling her arms back. “People will swarm you.” 

The prep-team had left you a large hoodie with Homelander’s smiling face printed across it, a Vought baseball cap, and black sunglasses. You glance in the mirror after you change, and you look like an idiot. You feel like an idiot. If this all wasn’t so dangerous and precarious, it would be plain stupid. 

But, because the universe is strange and uncaring, this is incredibly important. You have to wear Homelander’s face on your body, because you can’t protest or it will blow everything. You have to wear a stupid baseball cap—which is going to ruin your stupid hair—because people can’t see your face. It’s the same reason you put on the sunglasses that pinch your nose, and make yourself follow Ashley out into the densely packed crowd. You don’t have another choice. 

There are too many people. The first thing you realize is that there are far too many people, and you’re going through them. They’re bumping your arms and legs, brushing against your skin in accidental passing, and it’s going to make you explode. Everything is too bright and loud and everything is like a live wire. Everyone is so excited, and all you’re getting is fleeting passes of their overzealous, stabbing feelings before being plunged right back into your own cold fear. Spreading faster, not fully overtaking the fire but making it grow dim. Pushing it further away. 

By the time you’re dropped off in a small tent—A-Train and the Deep playing cards at a fold-out table, Sage and Homelander nowhere to be found—your blood is rushing through your body and ramming against your throat and ears. Trying to escape your body. You almost immediately collapse into a chair, trying to take long breaths and think about happy things. 

Music. The music playing over the loudspeakers is deafening. Off-rhythm gospel music that’s like nails digging into your brain. 

City lights. There isn’t any life or joy in the light around you. The sun is behind the clouds, and the flood lights are hidden in a mist that makes the whole world just gray. 

Ben. Ben isn’t here. With you. And all you can do is miss him. 

Something claws at your heart, but you can’t spare the time or energy to feel it. It’s loud and tight, almost impossible to ignore, but you manage to just close your eyes and try to find something happy. Try to make something happy. A-Train and the Deep are fighting in the background. It’s so loud, and you’re growing cold again. You can’t see anything but the gray, can’t feel anything but a metal chair below you and the fog around you, and can’t hear anything that’s not angry or frantic. 

Fresh air. The air is fresh and smells like rain. You haven’t smelled fresh air in months, and it’s all just clean and easy. Sharp and bright in your lungs, made of the wetlands around you. Mud and pine and grass, stronger than the cold sweat of the crowd. Fresh air. 

You take one last, long, deep breath. You’re not at peace, but this isn’t about peace. It’s about the world being in focus, and being able to just keep going. 

“Hey,” The Deep says your name, and you just stare at him. “We haven’t really talked yet. I’m Deep.” 

You nod. “I know.” 

“Right, of course you do. I mean, you can call me Kevin-“ He extends his hand for you to shake, and A-Train whacks it back. “Bro-“ 

“We’re not supposed to touch her, dumbass.” A-Train’s not looking at you. He hasn’t looked at you since you sat down. “And she’s not going to call you Kevin. Fucking nobody calls you Kevin.” 

“My friends all call me Kevin,” the Deep looks back to you with a wide, white-toothed smile. “I mean, me and Homelander are real tight-“ 

“No, you’re not.” 

“He likes me more-“ 

“Homelander doesn’t give a shit about you,” A-Train rolls his eyes. “It’s your turn. Play or give up.” 

The Deep gives you one last look like he’s going to say something, but turns back around to their game. 

It’s another ten or so minutes before Ashley returns—this time with both the clipboard and her phone—and you have to move. Interviews. Photo ops. Saying all the right words in the right tone with the right body language for the microphones and cameras. 

It’s so loud. The walk—even through a barricaded area—is full of screaming people leaning over metal blockades and the bass of the music, running into your bones. Ashley is recapping Sage’s talking points—The Deep isn’t allowed to talk about marine animals, A-Train needs to talk about gospel and unity, and you shouldn’t speak at all—As the Deep shakes his body out, practicing his smile and introduction and A-Train still doesn’t look at you. 

The powerful thing returns, as you’re back in the open. It’s still violent and alert, strange but not out of place, and it feels like Ben. It’s just Ben, indescribably Ben. If you didn’t know better, you’d think it was him, because you know him. You know all of him, all his anger and care and vengeful warmth. You know how he is, how his heart pounds and his will moves everything around him, how everything in him is strong like this is. 

It fades when you're pulled into another tent. Not fully dying out, but growing dull. Far away. 

You’re sat next to A-Train—who just stares ahead into the air and lets them start to mic him—with a reminder not to talk. If you’re asked questions, Sage will answer them for you. You just have to sit there, be pretty, and smile. No matter what happens, what’s being said around you, keep smiling. 

Sage doesn’t show up. There’s a seat saved for her, with her name taped to it and water bottle under it, but she never arrives and Ashley makes everyone keep going. A well dressed woman sits across from you, the cameras turn on, the show begins.

Smile. Don’t talk and smile. Ashley reminds every journalist to greet you and look at you casually but never actually speak to you. They just give you a few smiles and glances, and only two or three actually meet your eyes. Most end up going through the motions and trying to pretend you’re not there. 

You don’t blame them. You’re doing the same. For what feels like eternity you’re sat in a chair—just another prop to the set—and as your face starts to hurt from smiling you stop paying attention. You put energy into trying to find the source of the odd feeling still making a home in your chest, but it’s stubborn. You try and pull it up to the surface and it doesn’t budge, you try and poke it and it just hums. 

It’s exactly like Ben. 

After all I fucking do for you. 

His voice is back. It always comes back. It doesn’t make the thing in you rear and push like it had before, but it’s still everywhere. Humming lowly in the mic feedback and where your foot is tapping the floor. 

Go away. I’m busy. 

His laugh haunts the spaces of silence between the voices around you. I’m not fucking real, Sunshine. I can’t go away. I’m a part of you. 

You’re an annoying part of me. Piss off, Pretty Boy. I’m trying to figure something out. 

Figure what out? 

Shut up. 

Fuck me backwards for trying to help you. 

This isn’t something you can help with, Ben. 

Try me. 

Fine, you try not to sigh aloud. I can feel something. Something I’m not sure I should be feeling. 

What, like horny? Are you horny? Do you miss me and you’re horny? 

No, you fucking dumb dumb. Like an emotion that I can’t understand. 

Well I can’t fucking help with that shit. 

I know. That’s why I told you to go away. 

Whatever. You love me. 

I do. 

The thing responds to that. It roars and starts to claw up your spine, grabbing your heart with firm but gentle hands and trying to pull it around in your body. 

What the fucking shit was that? 

I don’t know. Shut up, I need to test something. Ben, I love you. 

It’s going to kill you. This strange thing inside you is going to rip you to shreds, but before you can test anything further, the interviews are at an end and Ashley is ushering everyone away, dragging you around the venue to take photos. You’re handed countless crosses and bibles to hold up for the camera to see, as if people might not have been previously aware of them. The Deep and A-Train shake hands and pose with fans, you’re put in front of lambs and goats and a very unsettling marble statue of Homelander that’s still somehow warmer than the real one. 

The thing is still there. It keeps growing and waning and spreading and pulling back. As you move through the convention it grows wrathful and deafening, and you can’t figure out what it is. It’s not you. You’re certain it’s not you. You’d been pretty sure before, but now you’re certain. It doesn’t feel wrong, it doesn’t feel out of place, but it’s not you. You’re not consuming like this, you’re not… Parasitic is the wrong word, you decide, because it’s inherently negative. Nothing about this thing is negative. It’s big and demanding and so loud, but it’s almost comfortable. Full of want and content and focused attention. Made of something rough that’s been dedicated to whatever feeds it.  

You just can’t figure out what it wants. It’s hungry, it’s full of such a familiar, Ben-like hunger, but nothing seems to satisfy it. You repeat the words, Ben. Ben, I love you, several times, and it always takes them, but it never grows fully quiet. If anything it’s like offering it salt-water. It pours it down deep, and then grows more demanding. 

If you had more time you’d find somewhere quiet to figure out what the hell is going on. But the sun is starting to fall down, and Ashley is herding you to the backstage area. Ranting about speeches and last minute adjustments and don’t fuck up and- 

It’s just a flash. You only see it for a second, moving beyond the barricade through the crowd, but you still see it. 

Black hair. Long, wavy black hair attached to a short woman. 

Lots of people have black hair. You’ve seen at least twenty women with black hair in the past three hours alone. But you still stop in your path and crane your neck up. Trying to see over the crowd, deeper into the fray. 

You see the hair again. And, this time, the side-profile of the woman it’s attached to. Hooded eyes with eyeliner and a focused determination on her face. 

“Holy shit.” 

Your whisper is only heard by the Deep, who turns to you with a frown. “I thought Sage told us not to swear-“ 

“Ashley!” Your voice is almost a shriek, loud and frantic. “I need to go to the bathroom now!” 

“Hold it,” Ashley says your name without looking up from her phone, continuing to move towards the stage. “We’re on a really fucking tight schedule.” 

“Ashley!” You move to grab her, stop her, make her listen and she flinches back with wide eyes. 

“I-“ 

“I got my period,” you say bluntly. “And, uh, I’m wearing a skirt-“ 

She sigh. “Fine, but be fast-“ 

“I will! Super fast!” You run ahead, into the porta potties dropped near all the stage equipment for the crew. They smell awful, and you probably should’ve chosen a spot that’s meant to hold more than one person, but you’re here now. Now is not the time to second guess anything. 

You wait, just long enough that you start to wonder if A-Train hadn’t heard you or didn’t understand, and wasn’t coming. 

Then the air whooshes, and he’s crammed next to you as the door slams. “What the fuck was that about-“ 

“They’re here,” you don’t wait for him to fully gain his footing in the small space before you speak, and ignore his rush of stress and annoyance when your bodies brush. There’s not enough time. “They’re all here.” 

“Wh-“ 

“Butcher,” you hiss. “MM and Frenchie and Kimiko. Probably Hughie, probably not Annie.” And Ben. Ben is here. 

“Are you sure-“ 

“Yes.” 

“Well, why the fuck are they here-“ 

“I don’t know!” 

“Would you stop fucking interrupting-” 

“No!” You’re running your hand over your face, trying to make your brain move faster. To do something productive, and stop just chanting Ben. Ben, I love you. Ben, you’re here and I can see you and touch you and I love you, Ben, I love you- “I need to think.” 

“Think?” A-Train glares at you. “We need to fucking run, those idiot are always blowing everything-“ 

“Shut up,” you snap. “This is a chance. They’re here for a reason. They’re probably planning something-“ 

“Something stupid-“ 

“Shut up!” You’re almost shouting. There’s no time for this, you need to figure out what they’re doing here and adjust, you need to find out how to keep Homelander and Sage—wherever the hell they are—away from them, you need to see Ben. You need to find Ben, now. A-Train is still glaring at you, and your fire isn’t strong enough yet—not here, where the cold is crawling through you once more—so you need a plan. 

You look A-Train up and down, he’s trying to pace in a space where you’re both pressed against the wall to not touch each other, and you’ve got it. 

“You’re leaving.” 

A-Train freezes, frowning at you. “What?” 

“You’re going to go with them. When they leave, you’re going to go with them,” you nod to yourself as you speak. “You’re done with the Seven, you’re going with them.” 

“Are you crazy?! Or stupid?!” A-Train gapes at you. “I have a tracker, they might not even take me, and my family will still be in danger-“ 

“I’ll burn out your tracker, they will take you, and…” You trail, trying to find your way around A-Train’s family. He’s right, Vought knows who they are. They won’t just let him go quietly and bloodlessly, not when he’d be turning to their enemy. But this has to work- 

“If you can’t tell me how my family will be fine, there’s not a chance in hell-“ 

“You’ll die.” 

“What?!” 

“You’re going to die,” you say the words firmly. No room for error, no room for wavering. “They’re going to ‘kill you’,” you make exaggerated air quotes. “And you’re going to ‘die’.” 

A-Train frowns at your hands. “What are those, what are you talking about-“ 

“You’re not really going to die,” you snap. No time. “We’re going to fake your death. They’ll make it look like they killed you and everybody wins.” 

“How does everybody win there?” A-Train’s rolling on the balls of his feet, still glowering at you. “They’ll just twist it, Starlighters are murderers-“ 

“Exactly,” you have an almost maniacal grin on your face. “But the Seven will just have lost its second member in as many weeks. Not a great look for the whole supe supremacy narrative if their best and brightest are dropping like flies. It’s bad for everybody, and that’s why everyone wins.” 

A-Train shakes his head. “What about my family? How do they win?” 

“If you’re dead, if we do this right and Sage doesn’t suspect a thing, then they’ll be honored for your service and left in peace. But we have to do this right.” 

“I don’t-“ 

“A-Train,” you hiss. “This is the something. This is the better, and this is what I’m asking of you. You’re going to leave with them, you’re going to help them. You don’t have to like it, but this is it.” 

“How will I be able to help,” he protests, still pushing and there’s no time. “I mean, if I’m fucking ‘dead’-” 

“You have insider knowledge of the tower. You have insider knowledge of Vought, and Homelander, and Sage. You can help them, you just have to go.” 

“What about you?” 

You blink. “What?” 

“You’re not going to leave? Run away with them into the sunset?” 

You can hear the words A-Train won’t say. You can see them on his face and hear them echo in your head. Leave with Ben. Run away with Ben and be safe and let him care for you until this is just another nightmare. 

“I mean, you can’t just keep-“ 

“I’m going to stay.” You mutter, hating the words on your tongue. They taste bitter and foul, like sour coconut. “I have to stay.” 

“That’s-“ 

“Not up for debate.” You cross your arms, holding A-Train’s glare. “I have to see this through. They’re here for a reason, and once I know what, I can work it into my plan.” 

“You’re still doing a plan?” You don’t love the disbelief in A-Train’s voice. “There’s no fucking way you can keep this up-“ 

“I don’t have to keep it up.” You snap. “I just have to get through it. I’m staying, you’re going, that’s that.” 

A-Train pauses, and you can almost hear his brain trying to find a way to disagree. But you’ve done this well, and he lets out a long, heavy, angry sigh. “What do you need me to do.” 

“Thank you,” you give him a half-smile. “I’m going to find them. I’ll tell Ashley I just need to sit down, because I’m getting cramps or something, and I’ll go find them.” Find Ben. “Find out what they’re doing, why they’re here. I need you to find Ezekiel.” 

“Ezekiel?” A-Train frowns. “I haven’t seen that guy all day-“ 

“He’s here. This is his event, he’s on the program. You’re going to find him, and trick him into walking into them.” 

“Trick him? How am I-“ 

“Tell him they’re here. Tell him they’re looking for new members of the Seven and killing Butcher is a surefire way to get a foot in the door. Tell him Hughie’s here, he hates Hughie. Just get him to fight them. Preferably away from the crowd, but not until Homelander’s speech.” Your fingers are tapping against your arm, making changes to the plan as you speak. “Ezekiel can’t just go alone, he’ll mess up the plan, so you have to make him wait. After you talk to him, say you’re going to find where they are, so you can fight them together, and come find me. I’ll burn out your tracker, you’ll bring Ezekiel to fight them, make it loud, and ‘die’. My team will take care of getting you out, hopefully they’ll kill Ezekiel on the way, and I’ll know what I need to do on my end.” 

“For your plan.” 

“For my plan.” 

A-Train shakes his head. “Are you going to tell me your plan?” 

“No. All you have to do is die.” 

“Fuck.” He takes off his visors, meeting your eyes fully. “You think this will work?” 

No room for error, no room for doubt. “It has to.” 

He nods slowly. “Where am I going to find you?” 

Wherever Ben is. “You might have to look. I’m not sure yet.” 

“You’ll burn out my tracker?” 

“As soon as you find me.” 

“And my family-“ 

“Will be fine.” You give him a close-lipped, tight smile. “Promise. Just find Ezekiel.” 

“Fine.” A-Train put his visors back on. “See you on the other side.” 

He’s gone in a rush of wind, and you’re alone in the porta potty. Just you, the horrible smell of shit, and that thing in your chest. 

Ben. It is him. He’s here, and you can feel him. It’s something you’ll have to retcon later, why you can feel him, what this feeling actually is, but right now Ben is here. And you have to find him. 

You find Ashley first, and tell her you’re throwing up from period cramps in quick, blunt words. 

“Can’t you just hold it?” She begs, and you give her a flat look. 

“Ashley, do you think Sage will be angrier if I rest in the bathroom but do my speech without a hitch, or if I throw up on live TV?”

She shakes her head, running her hands through her hair. “Fuck! First A-Train’s fucking gone, now you-“ 

“He was freaking out about something,” you shrug. “Wouldn’t tell me what, but I think he’s just calming down.” You make a fake retching sound, and Ashley’s face twists. “Can I please-“ 

“Just go!” 

“Thank you!” You make yourself double over slightly, make your words strained. “I’ll be back-“ 

“I don’t fucking care, just be fast!” 

Ashley turns away, and you’re gone. Find Ben. You have to find Ben. This place is massive, and you can’t just push your way through the crowd—not again, not if you want to keep going—but nothing is more important right now than finding Ben. 

Where would you be, you fucking ass. Where would Ben be at the Believe Expo. 

He’d hate all of this. He’d hate the abstinence only sex education—the fuck do they have against a good time—he’d hate the pandering and holier-than-thou attitudes—these pussies aren’t better than me just because they read a goddamn book—and he’d despise all the morality. All the haughty faces and watered-down language and fake smiles. He’d hate all of this, there wouldn’t be a corner of it he’d enjoy, so you have no fucking clue where you’ll find him. 

You can’t just wander and hope you run into him. You don’t have the time to spare just trying to bump into him. But you need to find him. He’s here and you have to see him. Half because of your plan with A-Train, half because you fucking miss him. You miss him so much, and he’s here, and you can’t just not see him. Not touch him. He’s here and you need him and you love him- 

That thing in your chest rolls around. It’s pulling you forward, and you don’t think twice before you let it. And you know. You know where he’d be. You’d find him anywhere, and you know where he’d be. 

Taking a piss. In the VIP bathrooms, because he has no regard or respect for venue restrictions. He’d need to go to the bathroom, and would not care to use the dogshit porta potties—especially not with his sense of smell being so strong—so he’d just walk right into the VIP bathrooms. No one would stop him, because he’s Ben and he looks right everywhere. Even if he’s in disguise, he still walks and talks like there’s not a place in the world he doesn’t belong. 

There are two VIP bathroom trailers. One is near the trailers, and one is across the venue. You should check both, but he’s in the further one. You just know, he’s in the further one. He’d have been staying on the outskirts of the event, and would be in the further one. So you take a long, grounding breath, steal a black Believe Expo Staff hoodie and cap, and move. Trying to run without people noticing, because there’s no time to just walk. He’s there, you know he’s there, so you have to go. 

Of the three bathrooms in the trailer, two are locked. And one is Ben. There’s no way to explain how you know, but one is Ben. It’s the center one, and he’s in there, and you have to wait. 

You can’t wait out in the open. If a staff member sees you they’ll either make you go “back to work” or recognize you and tell Ashley or Sage that you’re here. So you look around, make sure no one’s watching, and rush into the spare, empty bathroom. Lean against the counter and wait. 

Ben. Ben is here. He’s one door down and now you have to just be patient. You’ll see him soon. 

It’s the longest four minutes of your life. You hate this stupid, amazing man, taking impossibly long pisses and making you love him and not just leaving the bathroom. He must not feel you here, not like you can feel him, because he’d be breaking the door down. 

That’s another thing to be confused about later. How this thing works. Right now the trailer is rumbling slightly, because someone just flushed a toilet, and you can just hear a door opening and closing over the noise of the crowd.

Ben. 

You open your door, and there he is. He’s turned away from you, and wearing a baseball cap that covers his hair, but it’s him. You’d be able to recognize him blind and underwater, and that’s Ben. Tall and broad and walking in rough steps with his hands fisted at his side. Away from you. 

“Ben,” you hiss his name, but he doesn’t turn around. “Benjamin.” 

His steps stutter, but he keeps moving. Getting further and further away. 

“Ben!” Your words are still said in a hushed voice, through your teeth, but you’re almost shouting. “I know you can fucking hear me, you cunt.” 

He stops, but still doesn’t turn. Hands curling tighter, knuckles becoming white. 

“Benjamin, if you don’t turn around right fucking now-“ 

You see his body heave from a sigh, hear a low and frustrated sound, and he turns around with a scowl. 

He’s so fucking handsome. His face is tired and angry, half obscured by his hat, but he’s still everything. And when he sees you, glaring at him with all the anger you can muster when he’s right there, his mouth falls open and that strange feeling—his feeling—roars. 

The shock across his features doesn’t even last a second before he’s moving. Sprinting across the grass with no regard for secrecy or not drawing attention. Sprinting to you. He’s here. 

You don’t have time to take a step back before he’s crashing into you, picking you up and slamming the door behind him. He doesn’t kiss you. You’d thought he’d kiss you, but he just raises you off the ground in the most bone-crushing hug you’ve ever experienced. And you can feel him. You can feel the warmth of his body, the care with which he’s touching you—hands roaming you like he’s not sure you’re real and is trying to check—and the strength of him. Really him. Here and touching you and smelling like pine and gunpowder and full of desperation. He’s so tired—you can feel it in your bones—and he’s trying to pull you closer and closer into him, in a way that would be painful if it wasn’t him. If he wasn’t still holding you like you were holy, like you were just a cloud that might dissipate in his hands if he didn’t stop it with firm hands and adoring touches. 

“You’re real,” his voice is soft and hoarse in your ear, and something in you breaks. He sounds exhausted. “You’re fucking real.” 

“Ben-“ 

He kisses you then. Drops one hand below your thighs and hauls you further up his body, swallowing your words. Swallowing you. It’s just you and Ben, and he’s here. He’s real and touching you like he always has and, just for now, you’re safe. You’re safe in his arms, keeping you steadily off the ground, and getting drunk on him. On his hands kneading your skin and cupping your face, on his mouth against yours. Hungry, always hungry, pushing into you brutally. Trying to take all your breath and give you his. Tongue tracing your teeth and pushing down your throat, sucking and biting your lips and groaning into your open mouth. You take it all. Your hands grab at his hair, push his cap to the floor so you can touch him, and lean as far into him as you can without being him. He’s here. He’s here and you love him and he’s everything. You’re letting him consume you, touch you as much as he wants, because you missed him. Because he’s real, and anything he can give you is enough. If he tries to take your heart, reach into your chest and rip it out, you’ll do it for him and feed it to him. If he bites your neck you hope it will, for once, leave a mark. If he gives you any part of him, you’ll dig a hole in your body and keep it there. Anything to feel him forever, anything to never stop feeling this. Feeling Ben. 

When he finally pulls back, it’s only because you can feel the pounding of his heart under your hands. Only because he’s breathing heavily, chest rising and falling in an uneven pattern, and you’re doing the same. You feel a little dizzy, but you want to keep going. You want to touch him until you pass out and he can take him home. Or to Rome, or Hawaii, or fucking Ohio or Texas or California or anywhere where he’s there and you’re together. Where you can feel like this forever, and it’s just you and Ben. Happy. Where he can always set you down this carefully against the counter, and keep his forehead pressed to yours as you both just hold each other. Where you can close your eyes and fall into him and always trust he’ll catch you. 

He mumbles your name, lips brushing yours as he speaks, and you can’t stop the small sound leaving your throat. A strangled noise of Ben. Ben, I love you. I missed you and I love you and I’m sorry. 

You’re crying. You don’t even realize it until you feel his thumb against your cheek, wiping your tears away, and that makes you cry more. 

“Ben,” you’re whispering. You don’t trust your voice to do anything else. “You’re here.” 

“I’m here.” He mutters. “You’re real.” 

You huff a soft, weak laugh. “I’m real.” 

He nods against you, and when you open your eyes he’s still there. Watching you, always watching you. Looking at you so reverently, and that thing is stronger than you’d ever felt it when he’s touching you. He’s wrapping around you, he’s everywhere around you, full of care and affection and something small and bright that’s resting at the base of his throat. His whole body relaxed and washed with relief. You love him. You love him so much. 

“Hi,” you smile at him, and it’s real. It’s sad and you’re still crying, but Ben is here and nothing can stop you from smiling at him. Just for now, just in this moment, you can smile at Ben and get to mean it. “Can you kiss me again?” 

Ben chuckles, and it’s a sound from deep in his body that moves into yours. He does as you ask, and this time he’s gentle. Not pushing for more, just kissing you until you sigh and hum against his mouth. Letting both of you just savor it, sit in the feeling of comfort and each other. 

When Ben pulls back he draws up slightly, studying your face, tracing it under one hand as the other holds you at your waist. “Are you-“ 

“I’m okay.” 

He doesn’t believe you. Ben frowns and his eyes narrow, and you know he doesn’t believe you. He trusts you, you can feel it, but you can also feel that concrete resolve around you both and you know that Ben isn’t going to just drop it. 

“Don’t-“ 

“I’m not lying,” you move your hands up from his chest, resting them on his shoulders. “I’m okay.” 

“I don’t think you’re lying,” he mutters, scanning over your body. “I know you think you’re okay. You always think you’re okay.” 

You blink at him. “What?” 

“You always say you’re okay, and you’re not.” Your eyes meet again, and there’s something painful in Ben’s. You can feel that pain in his body, but when it reaches his eyes it’s somehow worse. It makes him look sad. “You always fucking think you’re fine, and you believe it, but you’re goddamn not.” 

“I-“ 

“Just,” he sighs, squeezing your hips and running a thumb over your cheekbone. “Tell me the truth. Not what you think is the fucking truth, the factual truth. Are you okay?” 

You don’t answer. You try to answer, but words choke in your throat and suddenly you’re crying. Not soft tears like before, full sobs that shake your body and make you fall into Ben’s chest. He catches you, holds you against him until you can breathe again. He lets you wrap your arms around his torso and traces familiar patterns on your skin, resting his chin on your head and humming so fucking terribly. So off-key and out of tune you almost don’t recognize the song. 

When you do, you pull back and frown at him, blinking away your tears. “Rainbow Connection?” 

“Shut up.” 

“When did you-“ 

“Don’t fucking change the topic.“

“Ben,” you move one hand up to rest against his chest, and he holds it. Pulls it up to his mouth and kisses your palm, and your heart flutters through all its sore fatigue. “I’m okay. I’m really okay. I’m exhausted, but I’m okay.” 

“Homelander-“ 

“Hasn’t touched me,” you whisper. “Not like that.” 

Ben doesn’t stop glaring at you. “Swear it.” 

“Promise. No lies.” You smile at him again. “Would be a weird fucking thing to lie about anyway.” 

Ben rolls his eyes. “Shut up.” 

“Make me.” 

You’re wasting time. You have so little time to find out what the Boys are doing here, why they’ve decided being here is worth such a massive risk, but when Ben kisses you again you don’t really care. It’s just him, big and warm and safe. 

Real. 

When he leans back, you’re not crying anymore. You think you’ve just tired yourself out, or that your body knows there will be time to cry later. Right now Ben is here, and that’s all that matters. 

“Are we going to talk about Rainbow Connection?” You smile at him because you can. As long as Ben is here, you’ll always smile at him. “Did you watch the Muppets again?” 

Something flashes under his skin. Sore and hot, embarrassment. That’s his embarrassment. “Shut the fuck up.” 

“You did-“ 

He kisses you again. He won’t stop kissing you, and you’ve never been less annoyed about anything in your life. Today he’s allowed to kiss you to shut you up. Anything that keeps him here longer, anything you can take and hold in the weeks to come. 

Anything that makes you more certain he’s real. That this isn’t a cruel trick of your brain, and any second you’re going to wake up in a cold room that smells like coconut with Homelander across the mattress. 

But he is. Ben is here and real and you can feel it. A dream wouldn’t feel powerful like this, wouldn’t have all the protection of Ben running through your body, wouldn’t have this strange feeling of something pushing from Ben into you when he holds you. 

“You can gloat about it later,” he grunts against you, before standing up to his full height, looking down at you. “We need to fucking go.” 

You sigh. You’d known this was coming, and you’re honestly surprised it took this long. “We’re not going anywhere, Ben.” 

“The goddamn fucking hell we’re not-“ 

“I have to stay here.” Your voice isn’t loud, or firm. It’s soft and shaking and tired, because you’re exhausted. Because every ounce of will and strength in your body is being used for this. For telling Ben you can’t just go, that he has to leave you here and you’re both going to have to find a way to live with that. “You know I have to stay here.” 

“You don’t have to do a single fucking thing but go,” he’s not yelling. His voice is rising and his words are sharp but he’s not yelling. “You’re not safe here, we need to fucking go-“ 

“I can’t.” You reach up, holding his face between your hands and trying not to shatter when he raises his own to keep you there. “I can’t go, not until I see this through.”  

“Yes, you can! You fucking can!” His voice is loud, but Ben’s still not yelling. You’ve heard him yell, and it’s commanding. Ben’s yell demands attention, demands compliance. This is angry and loud but he’s pleading, and it’s worse. He knows you’re not leaving with him, deep down, so Ben is begging you to change your mind. It’s making you hurt, making all your bones and organs shutter and snap, and it’s horrible. All of this is horrible. “All you fucking have to do is go-“ 

“Ben-“ 

“You’re not fucking safe, I’m not going to goddamn leave you-“ 

“You’re not leaving me,” you smile at him, and your heart is starting to fold in on itself. “This isn’t leaving me.” 

“Yes, it fucking is-“ 

“I’m telling you you’re going to have to go without me. Not now,” your words become quick, slightly panicked, because if Ben leaves now you’ll collapse and not get back up. “But when it’s time. When you go, you’re going without me.” 

“I’ll pick you up and fucking carry you out,” he snaps, and you sigh. 

“I’ll scream.” 

“Then I’ll fucking cover your mouth.” 

“I’ll bite your hand.” 

“And I won’t goddamn feel it.” 

“Then I’ll take off your stupid hat and people will see you.” You shake your head, and try to be a little more numb. Try to pretend this isn’t killing you, that you can’t feel it killing him. “I want to come home Ben, I really want to. But I can’t. You know that.” 

“There’s not a fucking chance in hell I’m letting you stay here-“ 

“Ben,” you whisper. “You don’t let me do anything. I’m staying here, but you’re not leaving me.” 

“I fucking am,” he’s furious, you can feel it coursing through you, but it’s like poison. It’s raging and turning every part of Ben against himself, making your heart start to wither for him. For how he’s doing this to himself. “If I fucking go without you, I’ll be fucking failing you again. I’m not fucking failing you again-“ 

“Benjamin-“ 

“I’m not! I’m never failing you again, I’m never leaving you again, I’m never fucking losing you again-“ 

You pull his head down, and he freezes. Ben lets you hold his head against your shoulder, and when you start to run a hand through his hair he falls onto you. Just holds you like you’re going to try and escape, buries his face in your neck like he can climb in you and stay there. 

“I can’t fucking lose you again,” he mumbles your name against your skin, and your heart grows weaker. “I just fucking can’t.” 

“You didn’t lose me.” You say softly. “You didn’t fail me, or leave me, and you’ll never lose me.” Ben. Ben, I love you. “I’ll come back. I’ll always find my way back to you.” 

“You shouldn’t fucking have to,” he pulls back, and his face is so sad. You’ve never seen Ben sad, where his face is just slack and tired and clouded. He’s still angry, but his wrath is made of despair. Low and sunken and almost sick. That thing in him—in you—feels ill. “I can’t fucking stay here with you, I can’t protect you-“ 

“I’m okay,” you lean forwards, and Ben meets you. Heads pressed together, his arms still around your body and your hands still in his hair. “I’m going to be okay.” 

“You’re fucking not-“ 

“I will,” you whisper, and it’s not just Ben you’re trying to convince. “I’ll be okay. You don’t need to protect me from this, Ben. I’m okay.” 

“Please,” he mutters your name, and your heart finally breaks. Pulls itself in two at how low and desperate and hopeless Ben’s voice is. “Please, just come home. Just fucking come home.” 

“I can’t,” you’re crying again, and these tears are slow. Soundlessly falling from you, the only part of yourself that’s allowed to just mourn this. You’re not going home. Ben hasn’t failed you, he could never fail you, you love him and he’d never leave you or fail you or lose you, but you’re not going home. “We both know I can’t.” 

“I don’t fucking know shit-“ 

“I’m aware,” you smile dryly. “But I still can’t come home.” 

“You can,” his protests aren’t loud anymore. He’s just grasping at straws, trying to find one thing that will make you give up and go. “We’ll just fucking walk away, go to Rome-“ 

“Not until this is over. Not until Homelander’s dead.” 

“He will be,” Ben’s hands squeeze on your hips. “The team has a way to kill him, and they can fucking do it themselves-“

Your eyes widen. “They found a way?” 

“I fucking found a way, they barely did shit-“ 

“Benjamin,” you pull back, and everything is urgent again. “How do you kill Homelander.” 

“V. But-“ 

“V?” 

“Compound fucking V. Puts him down for the count, makes him a damn coma patient.” Ben says your name. “But they can do that themselves, we can go-“ 

“How do you know?” 

“We found a file in his lab-“ 

“His lab?” 

“The fucking Homelander lab, where they used my cum to make him grow-“ 

“That’s fucking disgusting-“ 

“Shut the fuck up, you love my cum-“ 

Now is not the time to let that turn you on. Keep going, no getting sidetracked trading easy, sparring words with him or thinking about his cum. “Ben, are you sure this will work?“

“I’m fucking positive, the lab nerds were real clear that even one shot of V throws off his whole body and turns the pussy into a vegetable.” 

“Won’t you still need to blast him with the special sauce?” 

Ben rolls his eyes. “They can make their own goddamn special sauce. Pump Homelander full of V, find their own fucking way to take him out forever. Drop a nuke on him, I don’t give a fuck. We-”

“That’s why you’re here.” Your brain spins, sorting and matching every piece of this together. “Samaritan’s embrace was a V front, and you’re looking for some.” 

“We’re fucking finding some, and killing Homelander, so you can go-“ 

“You won’t.” You pull Ben face forwards, forcing his words to die in his throat, making him listen. “Ben, you’re not going to find any V here.” 

He frowns, momentarily distracted from lightly tugging at your skin and pleading for you to leave. “What the fuck are you talking about. Butcher said-“ 

“Butcher was wrong,” you shake your head. “I mean, he might have been right last week, maybe even this morning, but if there was V here it’s gone now.” 

“Why-“ 

“Sage said she was dealing with a Homelander mistake last week. She must have been talking about the lab, about how you were able to get in and poke around. And nobody’s seen her or Homelander or Ezekiel all day. Whatever V was left, they’ve gotten rid of it.” 

Ben scowls. “So we can just find more-“ 

“Sage won’t leave more.” You tap your fingers against Ben’s jaw, trying to focus and not think about how he’s stilled himself completely to let you talk yourself through this. “She won’t get rid of it, not all of it, it’s too valuable, but she’ll hide it. Any supplies that might be accessible to anyone that could be hypothetically compromised will be destroyed or relocated. She won’t tell anyone, won’t leave any records. It’ll be as good as gone.” 

Ben hums, and you see his question in the knit of his brows. Well how are we supposed to fucking get our hands on it? 

“I’m not sure,” you mutter, frowning. Scanning Ben’s face like you might find the answer in it, and not stopping when you don’t because you just want to look at him. “I’d bet on Homelander, he and Sage don’t really trust each other, not enough for him to let her just bulldoze any plans or intentions he might have with remaining V. But it’s not a safe bet, Homelander’s never a safe bet.” You feel something tight and bitter in his chest, and sigh. “I’m okay, Ben.” 

He rolls his eyes, still not moving under your hands. I didn’t fucking say shit. 

“Yeah, but you thought it.” 

What are you, a fucking mind reader? 

“With you?” You smile at him, and it’s so easy. Even when you’re talking about killing Homelander, it’s still easy to smile at Ben. “I might as well be.” 

Smartass. 

“Fuck you.” 

He grins. Not in public, Sunshine. 

You stick your tongue out at him. “Shut up. And we’ll just have to ask A-Train when he gets back.” You sigh. “I can’t think of anything else that might work.” 

Your fingers have stilled on Ben’s face—now just playing with the hair of his beard—and he takes it as a sign to speak. “A-Train?” 

“The fast one.” 

“Why the fuck are we waiting for him?” 

“He’s defecting,” you shrug. “He’s leaving with you today, you’re going to have to fake his death by the way-“ 

“Fucking Fast-Man is coming home, but not you?” Ben’s glaring at you, saying your name in a deep, annoyed voice. “I am not fucking trading you-“ 

“You’re not trading me, Benjamin.” You hold his glare. “I’ll come home soon, just not now. And A-Train is going to help you. He helped me.” 

“How the fuck has he helped you?” Ben grumbles. “He hasn’t gotten you out-“ 

“Nobody’s gotten me out, because I’m waiting. I have a plan-“

Ben scoffs, but that strange feeling in him pulses with warmth. “Of course you have a plan.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“You always have a damn plan, Sunshine.” He glowers at you. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you not have a fucking plan.” 

You narrow your eyes at him. “And how is that a bad thing?” 

“It’s not,” Ben mutters. “But I just fucking wish you would share your plans. With me. Let me goddamn help.” 

All the annoyance in you vaporizes in just how much you love him. How much you love Ben, how no matter what he’s there. He trusts you, he knows you, and he’s there for you all the time. He’ll groan and bitch about everything but he’ll still be there. He’ll try and fight your battles for you, roll his eyes and be a grump when you don’t let him, and stay at your side until you’ve won. He’ll be there to do what you need him to and then hold you like this—with so much rough care—even when he’s pissed. He won’t leave. He’ll never leave, not really. And you love him. 

“It has to play out naturally,” you say, gently. Smiling so that his scowl starts to waver. “If I tell you what to do it might not work as well. I’ll come home soon, you just have to let me do this my way. Please.” 

Ben lets out a long, labored sigh that makes his chest rumble, makes your whole body fall into his. “Fine. Fucking fine.” 

“Thank you.” 

He just grunts, and you pull his face back yours. Kiss him long and soft. Never looking for more, just trying to touch him. Just trying to have him while you can, before A-Train finds you and tells you this has to be over. You don’t ever want this to be over, you only want to kiss Ben like you have all the time in the world. Like every moment in this bathroom isn’t being borrowed and running out fast. 

You almost tell him. Right here, in a Believe Expo bathroom with Ben cupping your jaw and looking down at you with affection as his arm cages you to his chest, you almost say it. Ben. Ben, I love you. You’re going to have to let me stay here, but please know that I love you. Please, please wait for me and don’t hate me because I love you. I’m trying to make myself okay with keeping it together and leaving you to go home alone, but I’m so close to breaking. Please just tell me to damn the consequences, damn the world, and bring me home. Or to Rome, or to the farthest corner of the world, but with you. Please pick me up and take me with you because I love you and I can’t keep this up much longer. I’m okay, I’m really okay, but I’m so close to falling apart. I love you, fuck everything else because I love you and I want to go home. 

You’re crying again. They’re not singular, lonesome and tragic tears or shaking screams and sobs of hollow and empty. They’re small, wet gasps as you try to fight the words down. Try to stop yourself from ruining everything just because you can’t do this. You don’t want to do this. You don’t want Ben to go, and he has to go, but it’s going to be the most painful thing in the world. Even if you know you’ll be home soon. 

He mutters your name, deep and firm, and now you’re crying more. You love him. “What-“ 

You kiss him. You grab his shirt and yank him down and just kiss him. You can’t tell him you love him, not like this. Not when you can’t hold him all night and wake up next to him in the morning. Not now, when you have to stay here. But you’re going to tell him, you recognize that impossible to quell instinct of Ben. Ben, I love you, pushing up your throat and you only know one way to stop it. Ben, kissing him and touching him and turning those words into just sounds. Into moans and whines that he won’t understand. So you just pull Ben into you, and hope he’ll do the rest. 

He does. He’ll always do this for you. His hands will always find a firm, natural hold on your body and his mouth will always fit perfectly against yours. He’ll always fill with hunger and adoration, and give you everything he can until you’re—at least for now—whole again. He’ll always make all that noise, all that loud, angry pain in your head that’s trying to find a why, why is this so unfair that you have to stay here and Ben can’t stay with you, why won’t the world give you one thing, just one thing that you don’t have to rage to keep, and why does time have to keep moving when this day is going that have to end without Ben at your side, and he’ll make it go away. Ben will always make all the sounds and rushing thoughts in your head slow until it’s just him. Just Ben. Ben, I love you. He’ll make the whole world only Ben, rubbing circles on your skin and pulling you impossibly closer, pressing his tongue to your lips in a silent question, and taking everything you give him. 

You want to give him everything. Only opening your mouth for him to move deeper into you—to suck and bite and taste—and leaning into him so your hands are scraping at his neck, so his groans run through your body and down into you, isn’t enough. Making high, needy sounds that Ben swallows isn’t enough, grinding half against his torso and half onto the counter isn’t enough, because it doesn’t tell him. It doesn’t show him that you’ve missed him and you want him and need him and love him. Everything you can’t say, not now, you still need him to feel. He can’t feel you like you feel him, can’t understand without words how important he is to you. He can’t feel your love, not like you can feel that thing in him rumbling somewhere sacred in his chest. Bouncing off his ribcage and hungry and wanting for carnage. Wanting you, desperate for you in a bloody and wrathful way that tells you Ben cares. He might not love you, but he’s missed you. That even if he’s furious he’ll have to go without you, it's still about you. You and Ben together, right now, having each other. 

He has to have all of you. He has to have every part of you that you don’t need to see this through, so he can protect those instead. So he can keep some sort of knowledge that walking away from him—even if it’s temporary, which it is, because nothing is permanent except you and Ben so you will always find a way back to him—is impossible. It’s going to keep you up for many nights, haunt all your dreams until he’s there to hold you like this again. You have to, you can’t see another way out of this that doesn’t end in the world destroyed and Homelander the king of whatever remains, but it’s killing you. Ben needs to understand that this is killing you, that you’ve never wanted or loved anything like you need him. And the only way to show him is to give him all of you. 

“Ben,” you gasp against his mouth, and it drops to leave sloppy kisses down your jaw and neck. Letting you speak but not making it easy. Not when he’s pulling skin gently between his teeth and running his hand up your back. “Please.” 

“Please?” He hums, moving back up to look at you fully. Hands still kneading at your thigh and wrapping around your body. “What-“ 

“Fuck me.” You lean forward, trying to pull him back down. He can’t be away from you, not for a second, not now when he’s going to have to go so soon. “Please, fuck me.” 

His eyes widen, and even as the hunger roars inside him Ben frowns. “Here?” 

You nod desperately. “Please-“ 

“Sunshine,” his hold on you has become like iron, and you can feel the enormity of his want, feel his hardened cock pushing into your thigh, but he’s shaking his head. “I am not fucking you for the first time in a goddamn bathroom.” 

“Ben-“ 

“I said I wanted to take time,” Ben leaned down, holding your gaze. His eyes are darkened, and you can feel him. Everywhere you can feel Ben, in your body and around you and running between your bodies where the boundary of Ben or you doesn’t matter anymore. “And I fucking meant it. I am not fucking you when I can’t take a goddamn week off to do it, when there’s not even a fucking bed.” 

“Please, I just want-“ 

“I know what you want,” he growls your name, and you whine. “And fucking believe me, I want it as well. The only thing I want more than to fuck you stupid is to bring you the hell home. But,” he shakes his head, and presses a kiss to your brow, grunting the words against your skin. “You’re a stubborn fucking brat who doesn’t listen, so I’m not taking you home. And there’s not a fucking chance in hell I’m fucking you for the first time in a bathroom at a fucking Christ Convention.” 

You sigh, falling further into him. He’s right, which is annoying because he’s always so smug about when he’s right, but he’s right. Ben can’t fuck you, not here, not now. You can’t tell him you love him, you can’t go home with him, but you also can’t fucking him at the Christ Convention. 

Ben pulls back, watching you with silent eyes that are trying to dissect you. You love when he watches you like this, like he can see you, and you hope he never stops. You hope when you close your eyes tonight, alone in a cold room, you’ll still have the image of him watching you. 

You offer him a small smile. “How are you enjoying the Christ Convention?” 

“It’s fucking stupid,” he mutters. “Dumbest shit I’ve ever seen. Bunch of high and mighty pussies who think they know everything. Butcher said they do this every year,” he shakes his head like that’s an impossible thought. “Wouldn’t have fucking let that slide in my day.” 

You hum. “I mean, evangelical Christianity was definitely a thing in the 80s. And 70s. And 60s. Mass media just inflates connection and audience.” 

Ben rolls his eyes. “Every year is still goddamn insane. The man has been dead for thousands of goddamn years, there’s nothing fucking new to say.” 

You laugh, burying your head in his shoulder. His arms hold you there, safe and comfortable against him, and it takes a lot out of you not to cry again. To just mumble against his skin, “I see you haven’t killed Butcher yet.” 

“Yet.” He grunts. “Fucking asshole’s on goddamn thin ice. Borrowed time.” 

You smile. “Well, I’m proud of you anyway.” 

His arms tense around you, and that thing glows. Somewhere in that carefully tended and protected part of Ben where it lives, it starts to feel ardent and light. He doesn’t say anything, just pulls you closer, but you feel it. Glowing inside him. 

“Has anything changed,” you don’t move from speaking against him, because Ben will hear you anywhere. “Since I’ve been…” 

You can’t finish that sentence. You can’t say that word. And Ben knows, because he doesn’t make you. “No.” 

“Nothing?” 

“We haven’t exactly been fucking team building and circle jerking, Sunshine,” he drawls, and you still smile. You missed him. “We’ve got goddamn jobs to do.” 

“And you haven’t killed anyone? Even when they’re being idiot pussies?” 

He snorts. “They’ve managed not to deserve it yet.” 

“Deserve it?” 

“They’re listening to you.” 

You lean back, and frown at him. “To me?” 

“When you tell us to trust you,” he grunts. “When you go on TV.” 

Something you hadn’t fully realized was there loosens around your throat. “You’ve seen me? You’ve gotten it?” 

“Of course I’ve fucking seen you,” Ben mutters, and his glare is more indigent than anything else. “Green for me to listen. To make sure I know you’re still fucking you.” 

You smile, and it’s all teeth and a little bit of joy. He’s seen you, and he’s been paying attention, and he understands. “Good.” 

Ben rolls his eyes. “You don’t have to do green, I’ll listen no matter fucking what.” 

“It’s a signal-“ 

“I don’t need a fucking signal to know you’re okay,” he snaps your name. “I can see it on your face. When your little fucking act drops and you look like you. I need to know when you’re not okay. When I have to come get you.” 

“Ben-“ 

“I won’t,” he holds your eyes, voice firm. “I won’t come get you until you say. I’ll go along with your stupid fucking secret plan, but I need a way to know if you need me. If it’s gone to shit and you need me.”

You sigh. He needs this. Ben is doing the impossible thing you’re asking of him and only demanding one thing in return. You couldn’t say no if you wanted to. “Blue.” You squeeze his bicep, and give him another smile. “If I need you, which I won’t,” Ben glares at you, but you keep going. “I’ll wear blue. And you can come get me.” 

You’ll never wear blue again. If Ashley or Sage or Homelander try to put you in blue, you’ll spill food or coffee all over the outfit or just fucking burn it. But—likely even when you go home—you’ll never wear blue again. You’ll never wear blue or smell coconut without throwing up, you won’t drink a milkshake for a long time, and you’ll hate the winter forever. You’ll have to stay where it’s warm, you’ll have to keep Ben with you so he can block chilling winds and hold you against him like this. In a way that makes everything hot, makes your blood rush in a way that’s just you and him together. You’ll do anything to keep Ben with you when this is over. You’ll offer him this comfort that there’s a signal to tell him you need him—even if you’ll always need him, regardless of Homelander or Vought or any plan or mission—and whatever else he asks for so he’ll wait for you and hold you when you return. 

“Blue,” he repeats, nodding slowly. “Swear it.” 

“Promise.” You search his eyes, and try not to cry when you can see just how tired he is. “Thank you.” 

“Don’t-“ 

“Benjamin.” You shake your head, and lean back into him. “Thank you. Thank you for everything.” 

“I haven’t done a fucking thing-“ 

“You’re here.” You whisper. “You’re going to let me do what I need to do, and you’re waiting. That’s all you have to do, but it still fucking sucks, so thank you.” I love you. 

Ben scoffs. “I thought I didn’t let you do anything.” 

You huff a soft, sad laugh. “But I’m going to thank you anyway.” You look back up at him and smile. Wide and bittersweet, but still real. This is still real. “Thank you.” 

He watches you for a second, and that thing in him is glowing again. Glowing and burning. Hungry. 

Then he’s on his knees. Ben’s hands move to hold your thighs, and he falls to his knees between your legs, smirking up at you. Eyes still tired and body still washed in distant pain, but the hunger overtaking all of it. The devotion is spreading over all of him, climbing into you. 

“Ben-“ 

“I am not fucking you here,” he winks up at you, and you don’t think your heart is working anymore. It’s gone into overdrive and it’s going to explode. “But I can still make you feel fucking good.” 

Your eyes widen, and you feel heat rush into your face. You feel heat rush everywhere. “Okay.” 

“Say it,” he grunts, and you know what he wants. You always know what he wants. 

“Please,” you grab his face, running your fingers back into his hair. “Please, Ben.” 

“More.” 

“I want you,” you whisper, not trusting your voice to stay stable otherwise. Not when one of Ben’s hands is drawing closer to your center, hovering right over your underwear. “Ben, I want you, please-“ 

His thumb presses right over your clit, and your words turn into a long moan. “All you fucking have to do is ask, beautiful.” He grins up at you. “Say my name and ask.” 

“Ben-“ 

“Whole thing.” 

“Benjamin, please-“ 

He stands up, crashing his mouth against yours as his hand moves under your panties, teasing you gently. Rubbing his thumb lightly while he slides his fingers between you, but never in. Groaning into your mouth when he feels how wet you’ve become, how much you want him.

“Fucking needy, Sunshine.” He mutters, pulling his hand away, taking your underwear with him and dropping it on the floor. “So fucking needy.” 

You only moan, trying to grind into him enough that he’ll just come back, and he pulls his mouth away, grinning down at you. He looks so handsome, with dark eyes and full lips that were just on you and why can’t he just come back- 

His fingers—the ones that had just been touching you—raise into his mouth, and you almost fall off the counter. Almost jump him when he makes a low, satisfied sound and watches you with a cocky smirk. How you’re wrecked and he’s not even touching you anymore. 

“Please-“ 

He pulls his fingers out his mouth and grabs your face, yanking it up to him. His hand in your hair, your taste is in his mouth, his body so strong and warm and Ben and he’s everything- 

“Fucking good,” he mutters against your lips, and you whimper. “You’re so fucking good.” He says your name, and you think you might just cum from that. The impossibly good sound of your name from Ben’s mouth, in his deep and powerful voice. 

“Ben,” your words are just breath, but you know he understands, because he grunts and his hands that’s moved under your thigh squeezes you. “Please. More, please-“ 

He’s gone again, moving you back down to the counter and returning to his knees. You almost whine again, almost make a desperate sound that was probably supposed to be come back, but then he’s everywhere. His hands hook under your knees, and he tugs you forwards. Right into his mouth. 

He’s done this once. It made you scream his name and see stars, but this is better. He’s learning, you realize, because he’s already doing everything he needs to do to bring you up to the edge. After just one time he’d somehow memorized every single thing that made you melt, and now he’s on a mission. 

He moves one hand to knead and bruise your thigh around him, while using the other to brace against your abdomen, keeping you still as he works. 

His tongue is there first. Licking you once until he brushes your clit, flicking it once, feeling your thighs tighten around him, and chuckling as he does it again. 

“You fucking like that?” He mutters, and you just moan and try to roll your hips against his face. 

He laughs and does it again, lighter this time, so feather like and teasing you until you whine. Until it’s too much and you’re aching before he flattens his tongue against you and hums, running it down, up, down, and into you. Ben pushing his tongue into you, and starts to fuck you with him mouth. 

His teeth are brushing against you when he pushes in, letting out a growl when you clench around him that makes his nose bump your clit. You make a strangled sound and he finds a rhythm. His tongue doesn’t stop moving, twisting and fucking you as he squeezes the skin of your thigh, then rises for just enough to nip at your clit and sooth it with a kiss before dropping back down. 

Ben won’t let you cum. He knows exactly when that line is and he’s taunting you with it, grunting into you as you start to shake above him, as you tug at his hair or moan his name. He goes faster, eating you like he’s been starved until you start to tremble, and then he slows down, running his tongue between your pussy and clit, never fully touching either. Starting it all over the moment your breathing becomes steady. 

“Ben,” you whisper, and he looks up at you with so much devotion and affection it almost makes you fall apart just from him. From how relaxed he looks, between your legs. How his eyes are hungry and lustful and full of light. For you. “Please.” 

He hums against you, and you shiver as the sound runs up your spine. “More?” 

“Please.” 

“You want me?” 

“I need you.” 

He smirks up at you. “You need me, Sunshine? Need me to make you fucking cum?” 

“Yes,” you breathe out as his hand moves from your thigh, tracing circles around you and over you but never pushing in. “Ben, please. I need you, please-“ 

Two broad, rough fingers push into you and your words dissolve into a moan. Ben pumps them once, and once more when you squeeze around him. “Like that? You fucking need me to do that?” 

“Ben-“ 

“So fucking tight,” he mutters, gaze dropping down to watch you clench around him when he moves again. “You’re so fucking tight, beautiful, it’s gonna fucking kill me.” 

You can’t speak anymore, not when he moves in and out again, and again, and again. Setting a brutal, demanding pace that has you unable to think outside of Ben. Rough, strong fingers inside of you that are Ben’s and making you feel so good. 

“No smart words from that pretty fucking mouth?” he hums your name, and you whine. 

“Ben-“ 

“There’s one.” He winks at you, and you melt further into him. Try to use your leg to pull him closer. “Let’s see if we can make you scream it.” 

He drops back down and bites your clit. It’s gentle and light, but Ben bites you and you have to move a hand to cover your mouth so you don’t scream his name. You’re trying to grind onto his face, his fingering still fucking you without relent or relief, and you need him to keep going. To bite you or lick you or do something to bring you over the edge. But his arm is keeping you so torturously still, you can only grip his hair and throw your head back as he goes and goes and goes and you’re full of him. He’s in you and on you, his tongue tracing taunting circles around your clit, and it’s all Ben. 

Then he kisses you. He leaves one, painfully soft kiss against your clit as his fingers still deep inside you, and you’re so close. 

“Ben-“ 

You feel him grin against you, and he crooks his fingers in you against that one spot as he pulls your clit into his mouth. He sucks on it and groans, and that’s it. Everything is Ben, flicking his tongue against you with a growl and scissoring his fingers to give friction inside you, and you have to bite your hand as you cum. As everything grows loose and good, the whole world becomes both so big and wide but it’s still just Ben. It’s still just Ben in all the warmth and pleasure, making you feel like you’re made of stardust and more important than the sun as he keeps going through your orgasm until you’re shaking. Until you’re trying to pull him back up because you need to see him. You need him to kiss you again because you love him, and this is going to be over so soon and you just need to see him. Show Ben that he’s done this, that every part of you is his and nothing else has ever mattered like this matters. 

You almost damn it. He’s pulled you apart and put you back together, still going, and now you have to tell him. Ben has to know, he has to know you love him. It’s so impossibly crucial that Ben understands you love him. You say it, you say Ben, I love you, but he’s done his job too well and all that comes out is a breathless, wanting sound. Every part of your body, of your mind and soul tries to say it as well. Ben. Ben, I love you. Ben, I love you. Please understand, please try and feel how much I love you and tell me you understand. But he's still going, even as your thighs start to crush his head, and all you get is a roar. That thing inside him roars, and moves to fully rest in you. You don’t understand it, you’re not even sure Ben understands it, but it’s sitting in you now just as much as him, and it’s the most natural thing you’ve ever felt. It hums when you repeat the words in your head, when you think Ben. Ben, I love you, and pray he’ll somehow hear it, somehow see it on your face when he’s still between your legs. He doesn’t, but that thing always makes another low, happy sound and that can be enough. Everything is light and high, and this strange thing that lives in Ben but feels like it’s yours can be enough. 

Ben, after what might have been a thousand years, stands up. He’s staring at you—still slightly shaking and flushed, words still a little far away—and the look in his eyes is reverent. His face is covered in you and his beard is wet but he’s not moving to wipe it away. He just kisses you, one last long time, and mutters your name against your lips. 

“You’re perfect,” his voice is low and wanting, and you shutter against him. Feel his hard cock twitch against you. “You’re so fucking perfect.” 

In the grand scheme of things, it’s probably a good thing A-Train finds you when he does. Because if you’d been left alone with Ben for about three more seconds the part of you that’s been begging you to just go, go home with Ben and the rest of the world can figure out how to deal with this themselves, just tell Ben you love him and go, would’ve won. 

That doesn’t mean you can’t be annoyed when the room is rushed with cold air and A-Train slams the door behind him. 

Ben’s faster than you—in all fairness he didn’t just have an earth-shattering orgasm and you’re at a disadvantage—and turns to block your body from view, roaring at A-Train. 

“What the fucking hell-“ 

“Calm down, asshole.” Peaking over Ben’s shoulder you can see that A-Train’s facing the wall, back to you both. “This isn’t something I want to see. I’m just doing my job.” 

“Get fuck out-“ 

You reach around Ben’s head and cover his mouth with a hand, staying behind him as you lean over his body to address A-Train. “Are we ready?” 

A-Train nods. “Ezekiel’s waiting for me, I told him I’d find where your team is then come get him.” 

“Okay,” you sigh, trying to focus on running through your mental checklist when you can still feel Ben, when your legs have wrapped themselves around his torso. “I’ll burn out your tracker, and we’ll get going.”

Ben licks your hand, and it surprises you enough to pull back. 

“Benjamin, what the hell-“ 

“Does anyone want to fucking tell me what’s going on?” He snaps, glaring at you over his shoulder. “Or am I supposed to just goddamn stay in the dark?” 

“I did tell you,” you kick his thigh slightly. “A-Train’s defecting, you’re going to kill him-“ 

“Don’t actually kill me,” A-Train cuts in, still facing away from you. “I’m not doing this if this dick is going to actually kill me.” 

“He’s knows that-“ 

Ben shrugs. “I don’t know shit.” 

You pinch him, shooting him a flat look. You’re being unhelpful. Shut up and get me decent. 

He rolls his eyes, and ducks down to pick your discarded underwear off the floor. You keep speaking as he helps you into them, allowing yourself to sit slightly in the feeling of him touching you, hands running up your legs and arms holding you still. 

“They won’t kill you, A-Train. Ben, promise you won’t kill him.” 

“Whatever.” 

“Benjamin.” 

“Fine, I won’t fucking kill him.” 

You glare at him. “Promise.” 

“I swear I won’t kill him.” He glares at you, drawing back up to his full height. “Happy?” 

You smile at him. “Very.” And it’s not even a lie. “A-Train, you can look.” 

Ben steps to the side—you have to shove him slightly, but he does—and A-Train turns around slowly. 

“My tracker?” 

You nod, pushing off the counter and crossing the bathroom. “This might take a second.” 

Ben follows you, standing behind you silently as you raise your hand over A-Train’s extended arm and close your eyes. This will work, this has to work. Ben’s right here, and he’s warm, and right now you’re not afraid, so this will work. 

It takes a few minutes of slow breathing and focus, but you drag just enough up fire. You can do this. 

You glance at A-Train once. “This might really hurt.” 

“Just do it-“ 

The flame forms in the palm of your hand and your eyes narrow. Concentrating it into something like a needle and pushing it into A-Train’s arm. He flinches, face twisting, but doesn’t pull away as you work. Smoke fills the room, all three of you watching the beam of fire twist and scorch A-Train’s skin, burning it with the tracker. Ben’s shoulder nudges yours and you pause, looking up at him. 

“What?” 

“It’s gone,” he grunts. “I heard it, it’s fried.” 

A-Train frowns. “You sure?”

“Fucking positive.” 

“Then,” A-Train looks back at you. “We’re good?” 

You glance at Ben, who gives you a tight nod. “I guess.” 

A-Train looks between you and Ben again, but rests his arm back at his side. “Is he going to tell your team-“ 

“I’ve got it fucking handled,” Ben snaps. “Pretend to kill you, bring you back. Find another way to get V.” 

“V?” 

Your eyes widen. You’d almost forgotten. “Fuck, wait. A-Train where did you find Ezekiel?” 

“He was backstage,” he shrugs. “Most of that time was spent convincing him, he’s annoying as hell-” He frowns at you, cutting himself off. “Why?” 

“We need some V,” you sigh. “But if he was backstage that means they finished cleaning up. There won’t be any left, not here.” 

“Why do you need V?” A-Train shakes his head. “That shit is horrible for you, it almost fucking killed me-“ 

“It knocks Homelander out. We need it to kill him.” You look at Ben, and find him watching you carefully. “You’re going to need to tell Butcher what I told you. You’re not going to find V any way you might have before.” 

Ben scowls. “Well then how the fuck-“ 

“Homelander,” you swallow down the lump and bile in your throat. “He’s the only bet we have. He had to have kept some-“ 

“He keeps some in his apartment,” A-Train interjects, and you turn to see him frowning at you, hands on his hips. “I saw it, even took some for Hughie. It’s in a box.” 

“I’ve never seen it-“ 

“He might have moved it when you arrived,” A-Train shrugs. “But he has some.” 

You nod, chewing on your tongue, and feel Ben’s arms wrap around you. Pulling you back into his chest.

“You don’t have to fucking get it.” He mutters. “We’ll find another way-“ 

You sigh, and tilt your head back to look up at him. “There’s not always another way, Ben. We have to get through this, not around it.” 

He glares at you. Come home. Just fucking come home. 

I can’t. You stand on your toes, leaning further into him, and give him a gentle smile. You have to go, and I can’t come with you. 

His body tenses around you, and he makes a deep, pained sound from his chest. I fucking hate this. This is fucking stupid and I fucking hate it. 

I know. You squeeze his arm around you and force yourself not to cry. You can’t cry now, because you won’t stop and this will never work. I know you do. But I’ll see you again. Soon. 

Fucking swear it. Swear you’ll come home. 

I promise. 

He nods, and turns you around. Kisses you again, and you know this is the last one for a while. He’s not pushing into you or trying to get more, he’s just trying to memorize you and you’re doing the same to him. You already knew all of Ben—and he knows all of you—but you need to have it leave a mark that you can carry when he goes. You need to still remember in a week, still feel how his muscles move around you like he’s still holding you, have his taste remain on your tongue when he’s not there pushing it into you, smell pine and gunpowder and Ben over the coconut. You’ll certainly have how he sounds—you’ll never lose how Ben sounds because his phantom will stay with you—but you want all of it. You need all of it if you’re going to keep going. 

A-Train coughs, and Ben pulls away with one last, gentle movement. 

“We have to get moving,” when you turn, A-Train isn’t looking at you, but frowning at Ben. “Homelander will be back real soon, for his speech.” 

Homelander’s speech. Your speech. You have to go do your speech. “Okay.” 

You have to force every step as you pull away from Ben’s body. He doesn’t let you go, not fully, allowing you to turn before dropping his head down to yours. 

“Come home.” It’s final. He’s still asking, even when he knows the answer, one final time.

“Soon,” you whisper. “You’re not losing me, Ben. You just have to wait for me.” 

“I’ll always fucking wait for you.” He grunts, and your heart isn’t going to recover from this. Not for a long time. “I’ll wait a million goddamn years, as long as you always fucking come home.” 

“Always.” You mumble, and he nods. “Thank you.” 

“You burn, I burn,” his breath fans against your face, and you can feel that thing in him start to riot. Claw up your lungs—Ben’s lungs—and throat. Furious and loud. 

So you just make a small, sad sound because you’re out of tears and sobs and sighs and smiles. “You burn, I burn.” You look up, and meet his eyes. “Can you do me a favor, Ben?” 

He just grunts, and you know he understands. You’re not asking, you’re cashing one of your last favors in. But it’s not for you. 

“Don’t be a dick to Ryan, please.” 

Ben blinks at you. “What?” 

“Ryan Butcher.” You watch him carefully. “Don’t be an ass to him. He’s just a kid.” 

“I haven’t been a fucking ass-“ 

“Yes, you have.” You trace a hand along his beard, resting it at the base of his neck. “I know you, Ben. You might not be being an ass on purpose, but you’re blaming him for this. He’s just a kid, it’s not his fault. None of this is his fault.” 

“You’re only here-“ 

“Because of Homelander,” you shake your head against his. “Not because you lost me, or failed me. Not because of Ryan or even Butcher. Because of Homelander. So please, just be kind to Ryan. For me.” 

He stands up, and holds you against him for one last moment. “Fine.” He pauses and kisses the top of your head, speaking the last words against you in a way that rolls through your body. “For you.” 

“I’ll see you soon,” you whisper into his chest, your words right over his heart. Right over where you can still feel that thing tearing Ben apart. You hope he’ll carry them until you’re home and can tell that thing to rest. 

Ben nods. “Soon.” 

A-Train’s been waiting, and you’re thankful for how he doesn’t say anything. How he lets Ben and you peel yourselves apart, lets Ben pick up his cap, gives you one last curt nod, and doesn’t comment on how you love Ben, or make you say any more promises. You only have room for two promises now, because they’re the most important ones you’ll ever make. Kill Homelander. Go home. You only have in it you to nod back, and try not to fall to the floor and scream when Ben gives you one last look and a kiss on the crease of your brow. When he walks out the door—like you’d told him to—and you have to watch him go. When A-Train leaves as well, and you trust both of them to do what you need them to, but it still shatters you. You’d had him. He was real and warm and here and you’d had him. There wasn’t a world where you kept him—not today—but this is still the most painful thing you’ve ever done. 

He’s lingering. You’re finding your way back to the stage and Ben’s likely still across the venue, but he’s still in you. That impossible to understand thing is still in you where it had been in Ben, and it’s not fading. It’s setting itself into you, and making you feel Ben even when you pull off your disguise and try to fix your makeup and smooth your hair in a backstage mirror. It’s making it hard to acknowledge that doing that—staying there with him for so long and letting him touch you like you’d needed—wasn’t smart, because this is all you’ll have for a while. At least until you revise your plan, until you figure out a way to get your team the V they need. As much as it hurts, you’re praying that this thing stays with you until you’re back in Ben’s arms. It might be the only way you get through this. 

Ashley finds you minutes later, her hair a mess and a wild, panicked look in her eyes. “Where the fuck did you go?!” 

“I was in the bathroom-“ 

“The bathroom?!” She shakes her head frantically. “For almost a fucking hour?!” 

You shrug, looking around nervously. No Homelander. No Sage. “I can’t control my period-“ 

“You know what?” Ashley raises a hand sharply. “I don’t fucking care. You’re on now, move.” 

Your mouth falls open, and the cold starts to creep back in. “Now? But I’m not until-“ 

“A-Train and Ezekiel are fucking missing, and Sage still hasn’t shown up after being a controlling bitch about this all week, so you’re on now.” You’re frozen in place, and Ashley looks up at you with glare. “Now! Fucking go!”

She almost moves to push you, but flinches back at the last second. Your feet start to carry you forwards, moving mechanically through the steps Ashley had drilled into you this morning. A man mics you, and you can barely feel his anxiety over the cold. It’s getting cold again, and the only thing keeping your legs steady beneath you, keeping you upright, is the way that Ben is still there. How you can feel that odd thing from him ingrained in you even when he’s gone, how it’s him. Everything about it is Ben, and it’s making a home inside of you and keeping your mind from clouding with cold. Fogged up cold. 

The man finishes his job, adjusting the mic a little further from your mouth. A woman checks your hair and makeup, and another points out all your marks and the teleprompter as Deep wraps up with large gestures and over-exaggerated laughs. The first woman smooths down your costume once and gives a thumbs up, the second shoves you forward with a clipboard, and suddenly you’re there. On the stage, walking to a red x and being blinded by stage lights that turn the crowd into murmuring shadows.

Words fall out of your mouth like vomit. You sound robotic. You feel robotic. You’re speaking and your voice isn’t yours, you’re smiling and it’s wrong on your face, and your hands are locked behind your back so your nails can tap and dig into your skin. 

“From when I was young, I’ve loved Homelander. Even when we were children, sharing secret moments in the fields behind my parent’s house, I loved him. I loved him enough to follow him to the city before he knew how I felt, before I knew he loved me. I loved him when he made his first save, and he told me how happy it made him.” Swallow the bile, read the words on the prompter. The boring, mechanical, words about love that aren’t yours. Aren’t about your love. “I loved him when he came to me with roses and told me he loved me, asked me to be his one and only. I loved him when he let me stay on the sidelines, when he was forced into PR relationships to keep me safe. I love him now, as America’s greatest hero and my savior.” Don’t break. “I love Homelander because he completes me. I see us in every great romance in history. He is the thing that gets me up in the morning. He makes me happy, and I want to start a family with him. Lead the best life we can together. I’m excited to lead a great life with Homelander, for our love story-“ 

Your words are cut off by a rush of air and shaking of the stage as Homelander lands at your side. Grinning and waving, placing a hand on your lower back as his voice echoes over the venue. 

“Oh, just pretend you can’t see me!” The crowd grows louder with applause, and he laughs. “I’m here to listen to Anomaly, same as all of you! I just have the best seat!” He pulls you off your mark, closer to the front of the stage. “She’s doing so well, isn’t she?” 

He grins at you as the crowd’s noise begins to drown out your own thoughts, and you make yourself smile back. The nerves are real, but you force the comfort onto your face. Make yourself stay on your feet. There’s no other option but staying on your feet and smiling at Homelander like his hand on your own body doesn’t fill you with dread and agony and cold. Pretend you don’t know what’s coming, that you’re going to finish and Homelander will kiss you and you’ll have to not scream or push him away. You’re sweating and the air is humid from the lingering mist of the morning, but you’re so cold. 

“Alright, let’s settle down!” Homelander dismisses the crowd with a hand, and the last few whoops and claps die off. “Keep going, honey, everyone’s listening.” 

You swallow. No way out. “I’m excited to lead a great life with Homelander, for our love story to be remembered as one from a fairytale. Because he is my prince, my white knight who saved me from the dark. Homelander, you're my soulmate, and I love you. I am deeply in love with you, and there will never be another-“ 

Something bangs in the distance, and the part of Ben that’s still in you begins to pound. Drums. Echoes of drums in your chest that fall into time with a spark of lights and another bang. Gunshots. Those are gunshots and the overhead lights are sparking.

Homelander’s hand tenses on your back. “Keep calm, folks! I’m sure it’s just a truck! I’ll go myself and make sure they get that faulty engine fixed. Please, let my lovely girlfriend finish the speech she’s been working so hard on.” He leans down to hiss in your ear, face turned from the crowd. “Keep going until I get back. Don’t stop fucking talking.” 

He’s gone, and another gunshot fires. Ben. Ben might be in danger, Homelander’s going and Ben is strong but they don’t have the V, and Sage hasn’t been seen all day. The gas- 

Ashley’s gesturing at you off to the side. Keep going. 

You have to keep going. There’s nothing you can do but try and cling to that thing in you—rumbling and bloody—that tells you Ben is still awake. Try and raise your voice over the gunshots that mean he’s still fighting. 

“There will never be another man for me. And that’s why-“ The prompter glitches and sparks out, and a flash of light clears the sky in the distance. Then there’s another gunshot, and a whoosh of air, and you have to keep going. You can still feel Ben, so you have to keep going. There are no words left for you to say, you didn’t memorize the speech and can’t remember where it went after the that’s why line. You have to find your own word. You have to just keep going. 

“That’s why I want to share what it’s like to love him.” You take a heavy breath, and hold onto that piece of Ben in you like it’s a lifeline. “Why he’s everything to me.” 

The venue lights flash again, and the phones start to spark out and fry with the cameras. You’re okay with that. This isn’t for the world to remember or see, this is for you to keep talking and find a way to keep going. 

“He’s good,” you smile into the flickering darkness. “He’s just so good. It’s hard, but he’s still good. His smile is the best one you’ll ever see, and his laugh is the only thing you’ll ever need to hear. If you could see him happy like I do, you’d never want to see anything else. And I, I get to do so many things I’ve always wanted to do with him. I get to talk to him and feel heard and to cook with him and share things I enjoy, and he touches me like I’m the only one he’s ever wanted to touch. Ever needed to touch. Ever needed. I get to feel half as wanted as I want him, and I want him. I want all of him.” You can’t stop. Your heart is breaking and gluing itself together every other second, but you can’t stop. “I want the parts you get to see and the parts that get to be mine. I want to laugh at him and with him and see him smile. See a smile that gets to be mine, and keep watching him try. Try to keep me when everything is horrible, and I want to stay with him, I want to stay with him-“ Your words are becoming choked, and you’re pleading to no one. Begging into a silent crowd of people who don’t understand and a night that doesn’t care. Keep going. “I, I want to watch him be better, never stop trying to be better, just be better and be good. Be good to me, he’s so good to me, even, even when it’s hard and I have to miss him and I-“

The whole word explodes. The drums are still rattling around your head as the night is illuminated from a cloud of fire and ash exploding across the night. You almost run to it, run to him, but people are grabbing you and pulling you off stage. You can’t fight, you're frozen, kept from shattering only by the hum of Ben still carved into you. Like an imprint, like a scar you wouldn’t want to heal if you could because it’s telling you he’s awake.

They lock you away. Someone shoves you into the trailer and you hear the door click, but you don’t bother to even try the handle. You couldn’t move if you wanted, couldn’t run if you tried. You’re cracking. Not breaking—not while that thing of Ben’s still shifts inside you and tells you he’s okay—but cracking. Growing weaker, the fire going dormant once more, because you’d let it get away from you. That speech won’t see the morning, nobody had gotten the part that was just you on footage, but people will talk. Sage will hear, Homelander will hear, and the former will know that you weren’t talking from nothing. She’ll see that hand you’d accidentally shown, that last piece she’d been looking for. The only thing that will save you is the latter believing you were speaking of him. That it’s Homelander you need and want and think is good. You’ve never laughed with Homelander, never seen him be better—only worse—and never, ever missed him, but he’ll still think you were talking about him. 

You miss Ben. You’re sobbing on the floor, cracks appearing in your mask because it’s all too much, and you just miss Ben. You’ll get through this. You can feel that echo of Ben still in your chest even as the noise outside dies down, and you know you’ll get through this, but you’ll miss Ben. More than before, which you didn’t think was possible. You’ll miss him more because he’s waiting, and you know home is closer in time but far in effort. Anything goes wrong and home goes away forever. There’s a way to kill Homelander, a way to get Ben the shot to kill Homelander, but this has to go right. You have to do this clever, however you need to, and with no hesitation, because then you can go home and Ben will be waiting. You’ll kill Homelander, and hold each other until this doesn’t feel like pain anymore. Only another shadow in the corner, another skeleton you bury and grow flowers from. 

Ben will be waiting. You’ll pull yourself up and tape every single piece of your mind together to drag yourself home to Ben, and he’ll pick you up. Ben will wait, and he’ll make this better. 

You’ll love him when you touch him again, and forever after that. You’ll love him when he makes this better and you remind him he’ll never fail you. When you get to stay and you never have to break again. Until then you’ll love him here as well. You’ll keep this piece of Ben in you, and worship in the hopes he feels it. 

You hope he feels your love. Even if he doesn’t love you, you still hope Ben gets to feel your love like you feel his strange thing inside of you. Gets to know it’s yours, for him, and feel how easy and natural it is to love him. How he didn’t fail you, could never fail you, because you love him like this. 

You love him until the night is silent. Until it’s just the dark and spreading warmth. Until your tears are dry and you can just feel you and him. You love Ben like there’s nothing else to love in the world, because there’s not. 

No love is worth this holy and infinite one that you have for Ben. No love is worth rage and desolation like this one is. No one is worth what Ben is. 

And he’ll wait for you. You’ll go back to him. You’ll find a way home. 

You’ll always find your way back to Ben.

——————

Ben couldn’t let himself think about it. Not now, not when he was still fucking clean up the mess he and the team had made. Not when the Pussy Mobile had come to a screeching, rattling halt right before Butcher could park it, and Ben was honestly surprised they’d made it the whole damn drive back. The hunk of shit probably should’ve broken down the moment Butcher had floored it and they’d torn away as Homelander dealt with their diversion. Ezekiel’s body strung up across tents—Ben having pulled him apart with hands and hatred—Annie playing haunted house with all the lights, and a bomb of the French Prick’s going off when Homelander destroyed the guns MM had rigged to keep firing. 

He couldn’t think about how’d almost fucking lost it. How they’d been driving away and Ben had been forced to shove the drums down, try to control them and keep the bomb in his chest from destroying the van and the team when the Thing was roaring at him. When the night had exploded and it had shaken the van, making Ben have to just stare and floor and try not to get lost in how much this fucking hurt. He’d done it, he’d done exactly as She’d asked. A-Train was “dead”—Homelander even the last person to see him before Frenchie’s bomb supposedly blew him to bits, which had been Hughie’s idea and didn’t end up being total fucking shit—and they knew they had to wait for V. They knew that had to wait for Her to get them some or find it somewhere else. Every selfish part of Ben wanted Her to get it, because that meant she’d have to give it them. She’d have to come home to give them the V, and this wouldn’t fucking hurt anymore. 

He’d find a way to get Her to stay this time, and this would never be painful again. He’d kill Homelander and she’d get to smile at him somewhere in Rome forever. He’d hear Her cry about normal, stupid fucking things and she’d tease him and tell him what to do, and he’d just kiss Her until this didn’t fucking hurt anymore. Because he’d done it, he’d done the job, and he’d never hated himself more. 

They were circled up in the dining hall. It was past midnight, but this was a lot more fucking important. They had A-Train, and maybe the fucker could help them. Get Her closer to coming home. Sleep didn’t matter, not when Ben had to fucking bring Her home. 

Ben’s at the head of the table. He can’t sit, can’t rest, he can’t stop fucking moving, not for a second. Not when it will be nothing but fucking pain and images of Her in his head. Fresh, like open wounds that won’t just fucking heal. 

So Ben stood, rigid at the head of the table, his fists curling and uncurling. Butcher at his side—the man’s glare almost as violent as Ben’s—as A-Train’s bouncing knee shook the table. Hughie and Annie had gone to bed with small nods—nobody had stopped them—but MM was frowning at A-Train from his seat across the table, and Kimiko and the French Prick were watching the tight silence with nervous expressions. 

“Are any of you going to talk, or just keep fucking staring at me?” 

Ben’s jaw clenched at the fucking sneer in A-Train’s voice. The fucking annoyance, as if Ben hadn’t just fucking given everything, given the whole fucking world, to save his fast, worthless, pussy ass. She’d told him to, and he had, but it should be Her at the table. In Ben’s arms. Not this fucking piece of shit She’d been so goddamn certain could help. 

He could only say half of that. A-Train needed to understand what had been lost to get him here. He had no fucking right to know more about Her. 

Ben leaned across the table, not bother to hide the fucking fury in his voice. “You’re the one who needs to start fucking talking.” 

“About what?” A-Train snapped. “I’m here, you know why I’m here, what else am I supposed to do?” 

“Make this fucking worth it!” Ben roared Her name. “Said you’d help. Fucking help!” 

“How? How am I supposed to help?” 

Butcher cut in right before Ben could rip A-Train’s head off. “Our mutual friend seemed to be bloody certain you’d have somethin for us. MM here seems to think we can trust you. And I’d fuckin wager you’ve got some real nasty shit on Homelander and Vought.” 

“Yeah, but-“ 

“Man, just listen,” MM muttered. “Those two motherfuckers get off on vengeance, and you’re not doing yourself any favors by poking at them.” 

Butcher scowled at MM, and Ben just keeps fucking pushing. She’d said A-Train could help, and she was never fucking wrong, so the pussy better start fucking helping until Ben started finding more creative ways to figure out what she’d meant. 

Don’t kill A-Train, Ben. Her voice hummed in his head. Or at least do it outside. People eat here. 

“What was she planning,” Ben grunted, trying to speak firm and steady over the pain. “She told me she was planning something. What is it.” 

“Don’t know,” A-Train at least had the brains to look a little fucking guilty. “When we talked she’d never tell me. Said she couldn’t risk it or something.” 

“Well, what did she say?” MM runs his hand over his face. “There has to be something we could use.” 

“Nothing,” A-Train’s answer is way too damn fast, and he’s giving Ben a strange fucking look. “I mean, she was trying to convince me to help, and I agreed, and now I’m here. I can’t fucking help more than that-“ 

“That ain’t fuckin true mate,” Butcher sneers. “You gotta have somethin for us. We didn’t fake your damn death just for you to come here and leech.” 

“I’ve got some stuff on Vought, but you can’t really think they were telling me everything? I mean, Sage didn’t trust me as far as she could thrown me, and she’s not that strong-“ 

“There has to be fucking something!” Ben hissed Her name, leaning down to hold A-Train’s gaze. “She had to have said fucking something, anything, that could get her-“ 

“She wouldn’t share her plan with me!” A-Train was still fucking looking at Ben like that. Like he’d fucking dropped from the sky and was speaking goddamn gibberish. “Like I said, she didn’t tell me anything! I asked, and she said no. She didn’t even fucking tell you!” A-Train gestured at Ben with an exasperated movement. “Why do you think she’d tell me!” 

“A-Train,” MM sighed. “What do you know? That shit about Vought, about Homelander and Sage, about anything.” 

“I mean I fucking know all their old V stashes. I know about security. I know Sage, kind of. How she thinks. I know Ashley, and she’s real close to snapping or losing it or something.” 

“That’s good,” MM glanced up at Butcher. “We can get Mallory here tomorrow. Get all his shit down.” 

“Mate, we can’t be fuckin sure he’s even gonna tell us the truth-“ 

“I will.” A-Train frowned at Butcher. “I’m not here for Vought, fuck those guys. I’m here because I’m trying to be better. Because she,” A-Train shot Ben another strange look as he said Her name for clarification. “She said I could help. I’m not going to lie, there’s too much on the fucking line to lie.” 

“Well,” Butcher snapped. “We might need a little bloody more than Vought security protocols and a fuckin Sage profile. That’s all shit we can get our fuckin selves-“

“I can get you their passwords.” A-Train said, words abrupt and tight. “Hughie’s into all that computer stuff, right? I can write down everything I remember about Vought, about all their passwords, and go over what Sage has told me. I can tell you weaknesses, about Homelander and milk, and the Deep and fish-“ 

“How the fuck will that help-“ 

A-Train cut Ben off with Her name, and everything fucking hurt again. “She thought I could help. This is all I can do, man. She knew that, and she thought it was worth it.” 

“Stop fucking talking about her like that.” Ben hissed. “You don’t know her. You don’t know what she thinks, not about this or any other damn thing.” 

“She told me I could help you. So I’m here.” A-Train didn’t flinch away from Ben’s glare. “Don’t blame me for her idea.” 

Ben was going to kill him. He was going to fucking rip his spine out of his back and break both his knees. The pussy didn’t have any fucking right to pretend to know Her, what she wanted. Ben trusted Her with his goddamn life, and he fucking trusted she knew what she was doing because there was no other option. No world where she never came back to him. She had to fucking come back, come home, but there wasn’t a single fucking way passwords and milk was going to help fucking help them. Help Her. 

Butcher placed a hand on Ben’s shoulder, and he flinched. “The fuck-“ 

“In and out, Gov.” Butcher muttered. “It ain’t gonna help shit to kill A-Train, even if he deserves it.” 

“Shut the fuck up, you pussy-“ 

“Trust me, I want to kill him just as much as you do. But he’s got somethin for us that ain’t totally fuckin useless.” Butcher nodded to MM. “We’ll get Mallory here at the crack of fuckin dawn. We got some work to do.” 

MM nodded, leaning down the table to the French Prick and Kimiko. “Can you two show A-Train a room? Doesn’t fucking matter which one, just get him in a bed.” 

A-Train gave Ben one last weird fucking look before he was led out of the room, leaving Ben with Butcher, MM, and the hum of a fan somewhere. 

Butcher sighed, dropping his hand from Ben’s shoulder back into his pockets. “MM, you better be bloody right about him-“ 

“I am,” MM muttered. “He’s here. He’s not going to fucking leave now, not with his family out there. And we can use his info, get the Kid on a laptop and into their servers. Get an idea of what Sage is doing. But we still need V-“ 

Butcher said Her name, and it ached in Ben’s ears. “Said she’d get us some. Right, Gov?” 

Ben grunted with a nod, and Butcher frowned. 

“She good?” 

Ben shot Butcher a glare. “The fuck is it to you.” 

Butcher shrugged. “She’s doin a lot of shit. Want to make sure she ain’t gonna burn out on us.” 

“She fucking won’t.” Ben snapped. She couldn’t. She’d promised she’d come home. “She’ll be fine.” 

She’ll be fine. Ben had left Her but she was going to be fine. 

You didn’t leave me, Ben. 

Butcher was speaking before Ben could respond to Her voice. “You didn’t fuckin pick her up and carry her back?”

“Fucking obviously.” 

Butcher narrowed his eyes. “After all your fuckin peacocking-“ 

“She told me to trust her,” Ben muttered. “And she’d have fucking kicked my ass if I tried to take her.” Ben shot Butcher a cold look. “I’m not in the business of making my woman do shit she doesn’t goddamn want to.” 

He’d said the words before he could think about them. My woman. She was his. He was supposed to hold her and protect her and care for her and help her and- 

Everything was fucking painful. 

Butcher grunted, nodding. “She’ll get through this, Mate. She’s a clever fuckin lady, she knows what she’s doing.” 

Ben didn’t respond. He already fucking knew that, he knew everything about her. She was fucking perfect and a goddamn threat to Ben’s sanity. 

He didn’t even notice Butcher was gone until MM coughed, and Ben realized it was just them left in the dining hall. 

“What.” 

“You were gone with her for a while,” MM said, watching Ben with a blank, unreadable face. “The fuck were you doing that whole time.” 

“None of your fucking business.” 

“It is if she’s-“ 

“It’s fucking not.” Ben glared at MM with all the fucking pain in his body. “It’s ours. Nobody else's.”

MM hummed, holding Ben’s glower. “Ours.”

“You’ve got a fucking problem with that? You hate me so fucking much you don’t trust me with her? When I’m the only fucking one who’s been fighting for her, doing whatever it fucking takes while you pussies-“ 

“I don’t trust you with her, motherfucker.” MM sneered. “She’s a good woman, and she’s too good for you. She doesn’t need you to fight for her-“ 

“Shut the fuck up.” Ben couldn’t fucking deal with this. Not when everything hurt and he could still see Her when he closed his eyes. “You can hate me for the rest of goddamn time, and tell me I’m evil or say I get off on vengeance, or whatever else makes you sleep at night, but never say shit about what you think she deserves, or needs.” 

“What, you think you speak for her?” MM scoffed. “You think she needs you?” 

Something stabbed deep into the Thing, and Ben had to speak through gritted teeth. “She doesn’t fucking need anyone. She wants me.” His head hurt. Something was pulling at his throat and clouding his eyes and a halo of pain was wrapping around his head. Stinging his tongue when he said Her name. “Doesn’t need you telling her what she wants. Or if I’m fucking good for her. She’s capable of making her own fucking choices.” 

Look at you, defending my honor. My right to choose. Keep this up and you’ll be giving lectures at Feminist panels. 

The pain was becoming blinding. 

“You’re a fucking murderer, Soldier Boy.” MM stood from the table, leering at Ben. “Nothing’s going to change that, change the shit you’ve done.” 

Ben’s jaw was going to break. “I know what I was.” He grunted, a lot of his anger leaking out and being replaced by just this inescapable agony. “You don’t need to fucking tell me. But I’d fucking do it again,” Ben gave MM a cold look. “I’d kill a thousand fucking people and be trapped in Russia for a million goddamn years if it brought her home.” 

“And what about those people's families?” MM hissed. “Their kids, like me?” 

“I’d fucking repent.” Ben sighed. He was so fucking tired. “I’d do it and add another hundred years to my sentence for every single body.” Anything. Anything to bring Her home. 

“What about me,” MM was still frowning, but there was something tragic in his voice. Something Ben couldn’t call weak, because he felt it too, felt it in his pain. “What about what you fucking did to me.” 

Ben said the only thing he could think of. The only thing that he could fucking mean and understand at the same time. “Whatever I fucking need to for you just fucking let her be happy.” 

“With you?”

“With me.” Ben felt something hard in his throat. “Or wherever else she wants. Just goddamn happy.” 

MM sighed, and Ben wished he would just fucking leave. Let Ben deal with this fucking pain alone. “She’ll fucking want it with you.”

Ben blinked at MM, something close to shock sparking through his chest. “What.” 

“She’ll be happy with you. When she gets back. I can’t fucking explain it, I defiantly don’t damn understand it, but she’s real happy with you.” MM shook his head. “She sees something in you I can’t understand, don’t even know where she’s finding it, but she’s smarter than most of us. Smarter than me and Butcher, defiantly fucking smart than you. I can’t explain why, shit’s fucking baffling why, but she’ll be happy with you. Just,” MM gave Ben one last look. It wasn’t cold, wasn’t hateful. Just tired. “Try to earn it.” 

It was like MM had fucking shot him. Shot Ben in the fucking chest and left him to bleed out. He stood in the dining hall, alone and in pain long after MM left, and only managed to move when the fan stuttered off and he couldn’t stand the silence. 

He hadn’t earned Her. Ben could never fucking earn her. He’d held her and lost her, fucking again. He’d spent the whole fucking Christ Convenetion feeling the way the Thing was alight, burning and raging inside of him, trying to pull him around and falling into a beat that was so familiar but Ben still didn’t recognize, or know how to decipher. It had been trying to tell him something, it was always trying to tell him something, but it had been fucking feral. Roaring and howling in a language Ben didn’t understand, couldn’t understand. He’d come closer to geting, when he’d seen her. Touched Her. 

Real. 

Back in his arms and fucking real. Making the Thing start to break bones in his body and turn Ben into just a fucking soldier that could bring Her home. Make her smile while she was against him forever, make those feelings of sheer fucking pleasure and ease run between them when he touched her, tasted her, and just had her. 

He’d fucking had Her. She’d been real, with Ben, and he’d lost her. 

You didn’t lose me, Benjamin. I’ll come home. 

He didn’t fucking care. It was all goddamn semantics, because Ben had failed, again, to be worthy of her. He’d listened to her and done as he’d been told, and still managed to fail Her. She wasn’t home. Ben couldn’t breathe because she wasn’t home. He’d failed to bring Her home, failed to convince her she’d done enough. That everything was worse because she wasn’t at Ben’s side, that everything hurt because he’d fucking failed. She didn’t know what she meant to him. If She knew what she meant to Ben she’d have come home. If he could break the Thing’s stupid fucking code and tell her that vital thing, she’d have understood and come home. 

The Thing pulsed, and Ben knew he was wrong. Collapsing on the couch, he knew he was wrong and she wouldn’t have left. He could’ve offered Her the sun and stars and every fucking song in the world and she’d have still told him she had to see this through.

Why couldn’t he have chosen to feel like this about a woman who would just go? Leave? Just fuck the world and come home for Ben. 

Because that wouldn’t have been Her. The Thing ran into Ben’s head, but it wasn’t speaking. It was pushing against the painful haze, and Ben was finding the words on his own. She’d never give up on the world. She’s too good to give up on the world. And it always has to be Her. Nothing is capable of making you feel this pain like She is.

That might be the worst fucking part of this. Was that, somewhere in this pain of Ben having lost Her. He’d left her and lost her and she still doesn’t understand that Ben can’t breathe without Her there, there was something good. She’d trusted him, to do what she needed him to do. She’d cried against him and known he’d pick her up and make it better. She’d touched him and still meant it, still wanted him even after he’d failed Her. 

She still wanted him. She still wanted Ben. She’d smiled at him and laughed with him and known him like nobody ever had. Like nobody ever would, not like she did. Not like she’d pulled Ben into her and tried to tell him everything he’d needed to hear. Found every way to feed the Thing with soft words and pretty looks, and all at once, grow this pain. She was perfect, and she still wanted Ben, and he’d never fucking earn her. 

That’s what breaks the pain. Snaps it open in two, and Ben with it. She wanted him. She was perfect and she wanted him and Ben hadn’t even told Her how much he missed Her. How he wasn’t sleeping and eating was an act of labor without Her there to throw crumpled napkins at his face and hang around his body while he did the dishes. How she was gone and nothing was good. 

He hadn’t told Her. And she still wanted him. And Ben breaks. 

It starts in his chest. Shaking something there and pushing that lump further up into his mouth. The pain tightens around his throat and brow, his eyes feel fucking weird, and the first sound echoes through the dark, empty apartment. Choked. Tired. All fucking pain and hurt. 

The damn breaks, and Ben’s too goddamn exhausted to fight it. He roars into the darkness, even though he knows nobody can hear. Maybe she will. Across the city and bay, she’ll hear how much Ben fucking misses Her. How nothing is as important as Her. Home. Safe. With Ben and happy. 

When he roars again, it’s strangled and he tastes salt. His eyes hurt, and it’s so fucking hard breathe. There are no drums, no violence in him. Just a fucking ache for Her, and he can’t do anything about it but try and pull it out of his brain. Run his hand over his face and through his hair and pull it back to find it wet.

He’s crying. He’s fucking crying. 

Ben hadn’t fucking cried since he was a child. It had been a hundred fucking years since Ben had cried like a pussy. Weak, pathetic, and useless. 

This didn’t feel useless. For reasons Ben couldn’t fucking understand, the bellows of pain escaping his body and the endless fucking pain finding its way out of his body didn’t feel useless. It felt good. It felt like a tribute, like he was leaving an offering for Her in this loneliness. This was agony and the worst fucking thing in the world and Ben had to fucking break to prove it. She couldn’t break, she wouldn’t allow herself to, so Ben would do it for Her. He’d shatter on the floor of their apartment and cling to any thought of Her as it made this pain grow. It was a lot fucking better than forgetting. 

Nothing would hurt more than forgetting Her. Forgetting her laugh and smile and the way she felt. Forgetting her beautiful face and smart fucking mouth, forgetting the way she spoke and looked at Ben. Like She somehow did think he was worthy. 

So Ben just cried. He knew she’d come home but he still just fucking sobbed on the couch. Alone. Missing Her, and wanting her, and waiting for her. 

He’d fucking wait for Her. He’d cry for Her and be haunted by her until She was home. 

He’d always wait. She’d always come home, so Ben would always fucking wait. 

The Thing would keep him company, twisting and screaming in time with Ben’s tears and choked noises of pain. Remind him of every part of Her. Every part he’d lost. Every part that would come back. 

Ben cried until the sun cracked the sky. 

He’d wait for Her until it burned out the universe.

End Note:  End of chapter check in! How we feeling, squad? We getting through this?

Also, if you haven't yet, check out the first one-shot from the reader event! I'm moving through the rest, and I think I'll upload them between chapters to keep you guys fed. No matter what, thank you so much for reading, and I'll see you soon!

If you like this story, reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3

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[jeonscatalyst]

What difference do you think we would have gotten to see if it wasn't jk with jm but let's say tae? I'm only using tae as an example cause he's the same age as jimin so the 95-97 remains there and the "dynamics change because of age" reason wouldn't be there. Or else i would have used other members as an example

TK bicker too, jungkook was teasing tae (Basically when vmk are together it's fixed that one of them is going to get ganged up by the other two, happens with TK-Jm, Jkk-TH, Vmin-JK so that's a given. He was considerate of tae as well given he was asking him to join when tae was on the phone or when he said to let's eat near tae even before he knew tae was unwell. It's of course basic manners to make ur supposed guest feel involved and they both did. he also said jeju was better because tae was there so i was just wondering what difference would it have made in the show if it was a TK show. like we obviously would have gotten them enjoying their time doing all the activities and I'm sure they know how to hangout without a third party involved so i kinda don't see much difference so it would be nice to see a different pov.

Hi anon,

I think we can only try to imagine how different things would have been if it was just Jk and Tae because we unfortunately have rarely seen just the two of them interacting for that long without other people as buffers and the few times we did get to see them together without any other members like the Taekook Carnation Vlive of 2020 and their joint instagram Live last year, it wasn’t really anything to write home about in my opinion.

Pre 2016 taekook together would have been pure comedy gold in my opinion because those two were hilarious and so much fun together when they were younger. They had amazing chemistry and knew how to go with the flow with each other so well but I don’t think things remained the same after they grew up and matured over the years. I think that biggest thing which made them to be able to relate to each other so much was not there as much anymore so things became a little strained.

Taekook can definitely hang out with each other without other people but I don’t think they can do it for as long as Jimin and Jungkook do it. Take AYS episodes 3-5 for example. Things were so much fun when the three guys had all those fun activities to do on the first day. They had climbing, racing, motorbike riding, it was so entertaining to watch all 3 of them having so much fun and just running around like 5 year olds but look at what happened the moment those fun physical activities were done. Tae was literally almost always on his phone and barely interacted with Jikook. While at the restaurants jikook were the ones always talking with each other while tae was either on his phone or was quiet. Even back at home after their day’s activities, he usually went to bed much earlier than Jimin and Jungkook while these two stayed up and just found fun in whatever silly thing they were doing. This, is the difference between taekook and Jikook.

When there is physical activity which they consider fun, taekook gel so well and could be so interesting to watch but one of them tends to lose some interest after a while or gets tired and retires while one is still in the mood to play around. This doesn’t happen with Jikook. Jikook don’t necessarily need a lot of physical fun activities to have fun together because they know how to create their own fun in any situation they are in. They know how to talk and laugh about the most random things, they have an insane amount of inside jokes, and more often than not, you would see them making decisions on what to do together. They also don’t always feel the need to fill the silence with noise. They are very capable of just being by each other without saying or doing much and would not feel bored but when you look at how tae was in episode 4 and 5 after the physical activities (plus his neck pain) it isn’t hard to see that he probably had, had enough. So imagine the show with just taekook in a situation like this. Tae probably spending alot of time on his phone, taekook barely saying anything to each other while eating at restaurants, Tae wanting to go to bed way earlier than Jk who is still hyper and just wants to play around and when you add to the fact that both of them are not big talkers, then you can imagine what it would be like.

Jimin is very good at starting and holding conversations and keeping things interesting with words. I don’t think Tae is good at this and Jk isn’t either but the thing is, when Jk is with Jimin, he talks more, he is such a yapper around Jimin but he is quieter with Tae probably because Tae doesn’t talk much either.

I can see how him being with Jikook in Jeju might have made things better because at the end of the day, things are always more fun with more people. There’s more laughter, more fun ideas etc so I think that is what Jk meant and Jimin too said he was able to run around like a kid again thanks to Tae. Jimin and Jungkook are the two who like doing more mundane and probably “boring” things together. They have always liked staying up late at nights doing the most unserious things together and it is so much fun for them while taekook are the ones who actually like doing fun recreational activities together. Jimin and Jungkook could be locked up together in an empty room and they would still find something fun to do. That is the difference anon.

Bottom line here is that Jk, Jimin and Taehyung are all friends. They all love and care about each other. Jk loves Tae and he loves Jimin too, he is also very close to both of them but Jk just relates or gels with both of them in very different ways. Just because they are all close doesn’t mean they have the exact same kind of closeness with each other. There are certain things that Jungkook might feel are better with Tae and others that he feels are better with Jimin. I think Jungkook prefers doing the extra fun outdoor activities with Taehyung, while he enjoys the more mundane or subtle things with Jimin. He just likes talking with Jimin, being silly with him, or just doing nothing with him. So with Jimin and Jungkook we would probably still see them doing just fine with little to no activity but with Taehyung and Jungkook, we probably need activities to actually see them gel well with each other. That is what I think the difference would be anon, based on everything I know about them and also what we saw on AYS.

Taekook actually don’t bicker much and based on what I have seen, one person usually gets upset when some jokes/ teasing gets too far. Think of Tae straight up getting upset and telling Jk not to take things too far when Jk joked about him being weak or how tae got mad and Jimin made Jk apologize back in 2019 when Tae was trying to say something during a Live but Jk told him that what he was about to say wasn’t important at that moment. Taekook are not used to bickering with each other like Jikook are so while Jikook would laugh about certain things when they joke with each other, Taekook wouldn’t. So you cannot even compare taekook bickering to Jikook’s. Jikook have been used to roasting each other since their rookie days, it is fun for them.

These are just my opinions though anon. Other people might see things differently.

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

It feels like hope.

Pairing: Hot Priest!Joel Miller x f!reader, no outbreak

Words count: 5700

Rating: Strictly +18, MINORS DON’T INTERACT

Warnings: pov second person, no use of y/n, priest kink, catholic guilt, religious kink, smut, unprotected p in v (use protections IRL!), reader has breasts and vagina and hair that can be pulled and wears a shirt and a skirt, apart from that no other description is given, age is not mentioned but they’re both grown up adults and reader is only inexperienced because she grew up in a very catholic family, fingering (f receiving), oral (m receiving), sex in a rectory, hair pulling, blasphemy all over the place 💀, pussy pronouns she/her, drinking, two hits on nipples, improper use of liturgical objects, cream pie, pet names (angel, baby), reader calls him "Father" during sex, mention of hell, mention of porn videos, mention of masturbation, improper use of prayers, God named in vain, another thing that I won’t spoil... listen, this thing is filthy, probably the filthiest more immoral thing I've ever wrote, ok? If you think you can't handle it just scroll down to another story.

This is a revised version of something I had already posted and then deleted because I personally didn't like it.

It took me months to come to an end with it, I don’t know why, I’ve changed a lot of things, I’ve changed the pov, I’ve changed dynamics etc… I really really hope you will enjoy it and please be gentle with me, I really tried hard even if you would think it’s no good.

English is not my first language and I have no beta so any mistake is all my fault, I’m sorry.

Title is a Fleabag quote, specifically from our beloved hot priest “when you find somebody that you love, it feels like hope”

Thanks to everyone who has shown interest in this story, thanks to those who were there from the beginning (you know who you are and I love you) and thanks to anyone who will read 🩷

(Just added a brief note at the end 😉)

It all started on a Sunday. 

You came to your neighborhood church expecting a nice function and you exited knowing you were doomed. 

That Sunday you met the new parish priest.

From the first moment you felt like something in you was compromised. 

You couldn't even explain it to yourself and you had never felt like this, it was something so unfamiliar. 

A need you’ve never felt before.

Your eyes glued to his holy form, adoring his raven curly hair, his scruff, the curve of his neck, his strong nose, plump lips, broad shoulders, thick thighs, big hands.

Courteous and kind as he greeted parishioners leaving the church, he shook your hand and you felt a jolt.

You weren’t like this before, you did things to do good to others before. But now…

Volunteering for every event, clothing drive, bake sale, children's shows. You were always there for the ride. Making excuses to talk to him.

Wondering if he had any more freckles than the ones on his neck, how warm his skin would be, how manly and intoxicating his scent would be, what his kisses would taste like, what his fingers would have felt like inside your cunt, peeking at the outline of his cock under his black pants.

A perfect Christian girl who would have make your mother proud on the outside, a raging hell of arousal on the inside.

You couldn’t believe that he was him who had awakened this new person inside you, insanely hungry, wanting, needing to taste, lick, bite. 

His low gruff voice grueling from his chest echoed against your damp inner walls so much that you were almost afraid to get up after the mass and see a stain where you were seated.

It was more and more difficult every time to fight your urge, stay on the tracks of life that you were taught to live, no sex before marriage, no masturbation because it’s a sin, no impure thoughts because you were a good girl.

Yet now you could hear them, all those voices crowding your head, pushing you towards something you had been taught was wrong.

Entering the church you were trembling, guilt pulsing in your gut.

Everything was quiet and serene, your eyes wandered on the frescoed walls, the organ, the large altar and the wooden benches neatly lined up in rows in the central nave, your steps sounded uncertain and timid on the marble floor.

You entered the confessional feeling your heart beating wildly in your chest, palms sweating and your mouth dry.

You could hear his breathing through the grate.

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned” 

The following silence weighed like never before.

“Open your heart to the Lord so He can forgive your sins”

And you had confessed. 

The words slipped from your mouth like pearls from a broken necklace, finally rolling free between your lips revealing your every sordid thought.

The girl shaped by catholic parents to be a modest virgin, mother and maid, perfect smile and delicate manners was in reality a shameful bundle of filth.

You were a sinner.

A sinner eaten out from dirty thoughts.

You told him how you couldn't stop thinking about him, how you had questioned your feelings and who you were as a person, how you hadn't spent a night without touching yourself thinking about him in many months.

You told him about your desire to kiss him and more. So much more. Everything.

Every single time you lowered your hand in your panties, every single time you squeezed your breasts, driven by instinct and desire, every single time you thought of him as Joel. Just Joel, a man.

You just wanted to let go of the weight on your chest, coming clean. If you said it all out loud you would have realized how crazy it was.

You heard the door snapping, a few heavy steps close to where you were seated, the door opening to your side.  

Suddenly he was there, standing in front of you.

He said nothing, only grabbed your arm, dragging you to the rectory.

Dust in the air danced beneath the soft light that came in from two small windows high up.

There wasn't much in the room, a cupboard where liturgical objects were kept, a table, a wardrobe where the clothes for the service were hung.

Nobody was there except the two of you, you could hear the rumble of his breathing and your heart drumming behind your rib cage.

He was staring at you. 

Your mouth sealed, a lump in your stomach.

You thought about the day he tried to teach you how to play guitar.

You were here, together, helping with the Christmas party. He was sitting strumming when you walked in, you tried not to surprise him from behind by pretending to cough and he turned to you. He didn’t stop playing as he greeted you, you told him “I didn’t know you played” and he invited you to try. As you sat down your legs were shaking, he gave you the guitar and you just stared at it, fingers uncertain and mind empty. 

“It’s not that hard” he told you and he leaned over you taking one of your hands in his and placing it on the neck of the guitar, moving your fingers over the strings “like this. Now play”

You strummed on the guitar and an unpleasant sound came out, you both laughed softly at your clumsiness and a flood of pleasure slicked your panties.

His breath on you was like a caress, you felt the minty scent grazing at your nostrils.

For a moment, just for a moment you thought, “I could turn around right now and kiss him. A few inches and my lips would be on his.”

Your desire flowed before your eyes, leaving you with nothing else to look at.

“But I can’t. I can’t.” 

You've tried to swat away that sinful thought with another strum on the guitar but nothing disappeared, instead it burned in your core even strongly than before.

You thought about that day when the rain caught you on your way to set up the bake sale, how you walked into the rectory soaked from head to toe, how he looked at your shirt stuck to your skin that left little to the imagination, how you instinctively covered yourself when you just wanted to let your arms hang at your sides and let him look at you. You saw a reaction in his eyes as he mumbled that he was going to get you a towel, just a moment before he regained his composure, and it was enough. You knew that he was not indifferent to you. That night you touched yourself imagining what it would be like if he took your shirt off, if he placed his lips on your neck, his tongue on your breast, his cock inside you.

You started to navigate on porn sites daily, out of curiosity first and then because you needed to see, you needed to imagine, you needed to visualize something so unfamiliar and strange to you. 

You were ashamed, but at the same time you couldn't help it, it was the only resource you could think of looking for and it was there, on your phone, private, no one would have known. You didn't even imagine you would find so many, a whole catalog of big dicks, huge tits, positions that your brain couldn't conceive.

Seeing those women pleasuring themselves scared you but at the same time attracted you, you wanted to be like them, you wanted to reach that pleasure, you wanted to try their way of using their hands, you wanted to refine your clumsy way of reaching that heat between your legs.

You sinked into it.

If your parents had known, if your community had known, you would have been branded an unworthy woman, a pervert, a slut.

But your parents were far away now, your whole life was somewhere else and you were proud to have freed yourself from the golden cage they had locked you in. You were an adult now, it was the moment to choose for yourself. If they hadn’t always denied you any other vision of the world, if they hadn’t forbidden you to have the experiences that everyone has in their youth, maybe it wouldn’t have happened this way.

His mouth was a thin line, tensed, you looked into his eyes and you saw nothing than dark.

So much different from the gentle detachment he had always shown to everyone, his look was a mixture of concern, agitation, maybe a hint of fear, but most of all - to your great surprise - sexual arousal.

You could see him cracking behind those eyes, you could feel his mind filling with all sorts of questions.

His voice was barely a whisper but sharp as a blade when he finally spoke “Are you even honest with that ‘I am a good christian’ thing? Say the truth”

You hesitated, the uneasiest bitter taste in your mouth.

“I-” your throat felt like atrophied “yes” you tried to say.

“No, you’re not. The least you could do is being fucking honest with Him” he raised his finger pointing it at the ceiling.

You’ve never heard him cursing before.

You looked down feeling the weight of your stomach turn to lead and then concrete and if you thought you were free now you felt even more guilty. 

You said the only thing your brain could think of at that moment and you knew what you were asking for, you knew what it would do to him and you knew that in this way you would drag him down with you. And yet you did it anyway, because desire was stronger than anything, than faith, than lies, than truth.

“I need-I need to repent. Teach me” you pleaded “teach me how to be good”

Something lit up in his gaze, like a spark of hell, a glow of lust.

He turned around and you hungrily followed his every move.

His hands moving expertly, the cupboard opening, him taking out the mass wine and pouring it into a chalice.

You saw him down the entire glass, without hesitation, without a shred of tremor.

You felt like you were watching a hurricane approaching, just waiting for the wind to suck you in without being able to do anything else.

You wanted it. You wanted it to sweep you away, to make you someone else, braver, indomitable, someone who wasn’t afraid to say what she wanted because of a belief that had been instilled in her, someone who was simply herself. 

We are all born with guilt, you told yourself. I am tired, tired of dealing with mine so much.

You just wanted to feel alive, to feel something authentic and fierce, no half measures. 

You wanted to be desired in a way that felt relentless and desperate, like air that is necessary to keep humans alive, something unique and undeniable.

Could Joel read it in your eyes? He was so good at reading people, you could tell it right away. 

He had guessed a lot about you, he had noticed how coffee was a weakness of yours - and his - and he offered you a cup first thing in every meeting.

He had noticed how nervous Danny, a parishioner who liked to play the fool with any woman present, most often in front of his wife, got you and made sure to never leave you alone with him.

He had noticed how much you enjoyed sewing and had assigned you the costumes for the play and praised your work. 

And he did the same with the guitar that day when he saw how enthusiast and curious you were about it. He didn't say it openly, but his gestures spoke for him.

He came closer to you again, bending the chalice to your mouth and said “drink”. Sharp, cold, an order.

At that point you didn’t care it was something you were not supposed to do, forbidden, maybe unholy even, you just drank. 

You were dealing with a part of yourself that always existed but you had put that in a box.

Joel looked into your eyes sternly and said: “Show me the good Christian that you think you are. Pray.”

“What?”

“Pray. Right now” 

“What prayer?” You asked, confused.

“You're not starting off well, you should know that.” He smirked, caught you in fail.

“Act of contrition” you whispered and he nodded “yes. That’s right.”

He was just inches away from you, his crucifix hanging between your bodies, grazing at your stomach. 

You began to recite in a low voice, stumbling over your words, your brain couldn’t think straight:

“O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest… all my sins because of thy just punishments, but most of all because they offended Thee, my God, who art all good and deserving all my love.”

You said it dozen of times before and yet it seemed totally different in that moment. 

Joel took off his rosary, letting it dangle from his hand and swing across your chest. Beads brushed against the cotton bra you wore under your blouse, making your nipples harden, you could feel them pushing against the fabric.

“Go on”

“I- I firmly resolve with the help of Thy grace to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin. Amen”

“Take off your shirt,” he told you in a whisper.

Something shifted inside him “and your bra”

His voice was no longer the same, it came from deep within him, frighteningly authoritarian but to you it seemed like a magic instrument that was hypnotizing you.

You did what he told you. 

You were half naked in front of a man for the first time. It could have happened before, much before, but of course you couldn’t because you never got married. No one was supposed to see your body except the man you were going to take to the altar. That’s what they taught you.

Joel looked at you, entranced, almost in disbelief. You wondered how long it had been since he’d seen someone else’s naked body, what effect it had on him. 

You were more alike than you seemed, both of you denied something because of religion. 

You were both more needy and frustrated than you were allowed to admit. Tension hung in the air like a fog that clouded both of your gazes.

Every time you had talked to him you had noticed the way he looked at you but you thought it was all in your head, like you were a poor naive girl who was building castles in the air, but now you knew that wasn't the case.

It was another thing you shouldn’t have done but you prayed deep down that he wouldn’t decide to stop.

He raised his arm, clutching his rosary. You felt a slash through the air and then a sharp smack on your nipple.

You looked down shocked as the pain quickly turned into a dull pleasure rising from the pit of your tummy, to fade more and more, becoming a tingling sensation.

You liked it.

You wanted more.

He did the same at your other breast and all the breath you had left in your body had slipped past your lips in a lustful sob.

He took one of your nipples between his fingers, twisting and pinching it and you couldn’t help but moan. A sound you never made for no one and you made it first for a priest.

His body pushed you against the wall, his breath on your neck, his fingers didn't stop torturing your nipple. Everything you saw was red. Red like the passion you had never felt before, red like the blood that pulsed in your veins, red like sin.

“Kneel” he said firmly.

You were equal parts scared of making a fool of yourself and eager to try.

You knelt down, feeling the cold of the floor touch your shins. 

His eyes were as uncertain as yours, it was new territory for both of you but you saw a flame burning in him and you felt it inside you. 

His face was serious, tense, as if he was ashamed of what he was doing but couldn't contain. 

He was punishing you and punishing himself at the same time.

You weren’t afraid though, you were ready to face what was eating you up and you trusted Joel for some reason. You could see in him that he wouldn’t hurt you. At least not more than you wanted.

Your tentative fingers undid his pants, letting them sag around his ankles. A pronounced erection protruded from his boxers as his eyes almost begged you, they weren’t cruel and ruthless eyes, but rather needy and guilty.

You moved your hand closer to his crotch, hesitating for a moment before placing it there, testing the sensation, opening your fingers around it to realize how thick it was. You could feel the heat through the fabric. You caressed it, feeling the tremor that shook Joel's body. Your eyes couldn't tear themselves away, it was the first time you had seen one in person, you were amazed and attracted. You continued to caress him until you heard a grunt leave Joel’s lips and a stain wet the front of his boxers. You were struck by how much he was growing under your hand and the smell, like musk, pungent but not unpleasant.

You remembered the videos you had seen, how women did it, looking into the men's eyes lustfully, with a confidence and naturalness you had never acquired. You wanted to be like them, but you were afraid of being ridiculous or grotesque.

You slowly pulled down his boxers, gasping at the sight of his cock springing free. 

Joel had his eyes fixed on you, they were encouraging somehow, he made you feel safe but the trembling of your fingers did not stop. You took his shaft in your hand again and were surprised at how soft his skin was there, velvety. You watched that thin layer of skin retract as you moved your hand up and down like you had seen in the videos, it felt incredible. It was heavy, hot and throbbing. It was uncut. His big balls hanging right under. You ran your thumb over the tip, collecting the pre-cum that was leaking, spreading it around.

Joel was quiet, he let you do it.

He was touch starving, just like you.

You lowered your head and licked him, just with the tip of your tongue. A timid lick, like a kitten.

His taste, matching the musky scent you could smell, invaded your mouth in an instant. You had never tasted anything like it. You braced yourself, while Joel waited, and licked once more, this time starting at the base and working your way up.

Joel groaned.

You pulled away, looking into his eyes, he brought a hand to your cheek and then to your chin and took it in his palm. 

“You are so beautiful” he whispered.

And you felt beautiful, you felt like someone was really seeing you for the first time. And you loved that that someone was him.

You took a deep breath and lowered your head onto his cock, you knew you couldn't fit it all in your mouth, but you wanted to take as much as you could.

“Don’t force yourself” Joel murmured as your lips touched his skin, causing another whine.

“I want to do it” you replied resolutely, you were loving hearing him whimper beneath you.

His length slid across your tongue, wet and salty, your lips closing around it.

You closed your eyes and focused on that feeling, just holding it there, nestled inside.

“Suck it,” Joel commanded gently, bringing a hand into your hair and twining his fingers there.

You were unsure how to do it, you tried to suck it in as if you were using a large straw, with all the breath you had.

Joel flinched, almost losing his balance “Easy, baby” he muttered

You pulled away again, eyes widened “oh my god, I’m sorry” almost afraid of having hurt him but he immediately reassured you "no it's okay, just... go slower, go slower if you don't want me to come right away”

“Uh- okay” responding timidly to the smile that was spreading across his face.

You began to suck again more calmly, holding the base tightly with your hand, feeling it pulsate between your fingers and on your tongue.

It was an addictive sensation, spreading through your synapses like a drug.

Obviously you had never tried any drugs, but you imagined that the sensation might be similar to something like that.

Joel still held your head, his grip tightening as you continued, you could feel his body tense and respond, and you liked it. You liked it more than you ever liked putting on your Sunday best and going to say prayers with your parents like you always had.

There was actually a prayer that was ringing in your head and it was Joel's, who softly repeated "just like that, you're being so good to me”

It was exhilarating.

You felt like you had a true gift, for once in your life.

An obscene gift, but still.

You had the courage to run from your mom and dad and then at what felt like a minute later you found yourself there, naked from waist up, on your knees, sucking a priest cock.

You’ve never felt more alive.

Deep down you were exactly that person there, not a whore like everyone you knew would say. Just a woman, a woman who wanted what other women wanted. Sex, pleasure, being important to someone or just not being condemned to do what others wanted for you.

You continued to suck as Joel's breathing became heavier and more labored.

At that point he was just uttering disconnected phrases like “oh my God” and “Yes, go on”, his voice hoarse and scratchy.

Suddenly he started shaking violently, almost falling, as something warm and sticky hit your throat. You knew what it was and you were eager to swallow, as you had seen done in so many videos.

A little of it slipped from your lips, down your chin, onto your neck.

Joel's hand was still in your hair, it almost hurt but it was a delicious pain that you were enduring, a small punishment for the rush of adrenaline and excitement that was coursing through you.

You kept holding his cock in your mouth until you felt it relax.

“Get up,” Joel said gently, still out of breath, as he was fixing his boxers and pants.

Your knees almost gave out, you leaned against the wall feeling wetness on your panties.

Joel came closer to you, placing a hand on your cheek, pulling you into a deep kiss that left you stunned for a second and then you were more than happy to reciprocate. His tongue in your mouth explored feverishly, you wondered if he could taste himself from your lips.

He pulled out saying “I’ve never done anything like this before” and you replied “me neither.” 

And then he was on your lips again, nibbling at your lower one, placing his hand on your thigh, raising it under your skirt, up to your drenched panties, grazing them with his fingers.

You squirmed, moaning a “yes, please” from down your throat, a tingle spreading on your outer lips, in your tummy, up to your chest.

He put his hand inside your panties, brushing your skin.

“What should I do with you?” He asked, in an almost desperate tone, as if he knew he couldn't stop and was asking permission not to.

“Make me come” you pleaded “Please.”

He sighed, pulling your panties aside and sliding his index and middle fingers between your folds, gathering your wetness up to your clit, starting circling it as you writhed. 

It was different than when you did it yourself, his fingers bigger and stronger, his touch a little clumsy but still effective and intoxicating.

His mouth landed on your neck, stifling a moan, sucking a hickey where it joined your shoulders, nibbling hungrily at your skin.

“Have you ever done this before?” 

“Just…me” 

He smirked “have you ever put your fingers inside you?” 

“I- yes.” there were no point on beating around the bush, you told him that you touched yourself thinking about him. You were already deep down into that dizzy. 

“Put your fingers in me” you added immediately “I want to feel them, please Joel, I want to know what they can do to me” 

“You sure?” 

“Yes, yes.” You breathed.

He prodded at your entrance,  just a little bit, making you whine just with his fingers tip.

The rosary lay abandoned on the floor, you could see it out of the corner of your eye and you didn't care about that eyewitness symbol of what was happening between you two.

You would have liked him to put it around your neck while he fucked you, fully participating in that sinful act. 

You were surprised yourself at what you were thinking but somehow it made you even more eager.

You felt two of his fingers sink inside you, filling that void that you had never been able to fill enough on your own, stretching you. 

It hurts a little at first because they were bigger than yours, but then it was more heavenly than anything else. If you were made for anything, it was to be there in that moment.

Joel looked ecstatic “God, she’s so… wet” he whispered “and warm” His face was the representation of pleasure, lips slightly parted, his eyes wide, his pupils dilated, his heavy breathing blowing on your neck.

He began to move his fingers inside you rhythmically, each thrust making you shake and sob, a litany of “yes” coming out strangled from your mouth.

He went slowly, taking his time, as if he was savoring every second of your pussy tightening around his fingers.

He placed his other hand on your breast again, cupping and squeezing and then twisting your nipple. Big hand full of your tit.

It was beautiful. You didn’t know how or why people could deny themselves that, but you certainly wouldn’t do it again, not after having Joel inside you. He curled his fingers, looking for the right way to make you feel the pleasure you wanted, the one you kept asking for.

“You like that, baby?” He asked with an hopeful tone

“It feels so good, so good” you told him, clinging to his neck, digging your nails into his soft skin as you felt like you were losing your mind. You didn't care about losing it, your mind had ruled your life for so, so long.

“Please don’t stop” you murmured, tightening your other hand on his wrist, guiding him “don't stop”

You felt your essence slowly leaking out of you, spreading over Joel's fingers and your outer lips, you had never been so soaked, never so much as under Joel's touch.

Your eyes suddenly fixed on that little piece of white cloth that was around his neck, that little piece that made all the difference in the world and made what you were doing terribly wrong in the eyes of others and God and Joel kissed you again like a man deprived and starved, his lips trembling and dramatic, asking silently for more and more, like they were drinking from yours.

He was all over you, like a sailor through a  violent storm, he clung to whatever he could, as if it were a matter of life and death. 

Tasting him like this, the smell of his skin, his warmth, his clerical clothes rubbing against your half-naked body, made your head spin.

You moved your hand onto his collar, grasping it with your fingers, pulling it, until it came undone, you squeezed it as you came copiously, repeating Joel's name and God's, cutting off your moans, abandoning your head on Joel's shoulder.

It was all too much and yet not enough, you wished it would never end. Joel held you tight, one hand moving behind your back, as his fingers continued to sink into you. The blinding pleasure that had invaded every fiber of your body was raging like hell’s flames inside you, like a sinful but also purifying fire, wrong and right, heavenly and hellish.

And then it slowly faded, giving way to a sense of satisfaction that had never belonged to you.

You could feel his erection pressing against your thigh, hard and demanding again.

Joel grunted, pulling his fingers out of you, taking them to his lips, gathering your juices with his tongue.

“I want… I want your cock, Father” you whispered, at that point you felt greedy, delirious, drunk on sex.

His eyes widened, being called “Father” was making him even more aroused and dizzy.

You grabbed his balls from above his pants, holding your hand tightly on them “please, Joel”.

If you were going to Hell for this, you might as well go all the way.

Joel pushed you against the table on the other side of the room, making you sit on it, unzipped his pants again, pulling out his cock without hesitation, as if he had finally accepted his fate.

His fingers were big but his cock… you wondered how it would all fit inside you.

“I’ll go slowly” Joel reassured you “It will fit” he said, brushing your folds with the tip, aligning his cock with your entrance, as if he had guessed your thoughts. His eyes were blacker than ever as he prodded his shaft past through your lips.

It felt overwhelming, so big and pulsing, it hurt but you almost immediately felt a fullness that you had never felt and a sense of belonging, your pussy opened like a bud, widening and molding for him.

If you were made for anything, it was to be there in that moment.

“She’s tight, so damn tight” Joel gawked “fuck” 

You whimpered, looking at his face, so serious, pleasure written all over it and you felt like it was right, it had to be right if it was that good.

“Make me yours, Father, make me good” you pleaded. 

Joel growled as he slid in and out of you, slamming against your walls, your pussy making obscene squelching sounds every time he moved, dripping all over his cock and the table.

It didn’t even seem embarrassing to you to be so inexperienced, you both were. You didn’t know if Joel had had sex before but you guessed he hadn’t had it in a long time anyway. 

You didn't know if it was the way it was supposed to be but you felt like it was natural, not like in the videos you'd seen which were probably mostly choreographed to please the eye.

It was sex. Pure and simple. Urgent, hungry, even uncontrolled.

And the way your body reacted, melting like wax under Joel's hands, arching into his touch, bending to his will, and seeking all the friction you could get, told you that this was the right way for you.

“See?” Joel mumbled “You’re taking me so well, baby, a perfect angel for me”

You twisted your legs behind his back, pushing him against you as much as you could, kissing the exposed skin on his neck. It drove you crazy that he was still dressed, you wanted to rip off his shirt and run your hands down on him, feel his warm skin on yours so you did it. You placed your hands on both sides and you just popped every button, revealing his broad chest, feeding your eyes with every single detail and your fingers with every shape and curve.

“Never had a cock inside before but that pussy is made for mine, I swear to God she is” he started desperately rutting into you, deeper strokes every time, taking God’s name in vain, murmuring some prayers while he pounded into you. You could feel his big vein brushing at your walls, his big mushroom hammering your cervix, the most intense rapture you’ve ever felt.

He pulled at your hair, forcing you to look him in the eye, murmuring “that’s what you wanted, huh? Dragging me to hell with you?”

Your eyes filled with tears at the thought. It was true, somehow you corrupted him, but you were willing to face that just to feel something so strong. You weren’t sure about him though.

But again, he was there, right there with you, with his cock inside your cunt and you didn’t force any of it, he could say no, he could stop, but he choose the sin. Now blaming you wasn’t so saintly nor kind, but you understood why he did that. He needed to blame someone other than himself, and you were there, open arm taking the weight for him.

Your ass slid back and forth on the wood of the table with each thrust, one of his hands was on your nipple again while the other held you behind your back. He then moved to your clit, applying pressure on it, circling it with two fingers.

You looked down only to see his cock sinking between your lips, his balls bouncing and the bush of hair that adorned his groin glistening with your juices.

You could smell the sex in the air, your mingling scents becoming one, your pleasure merging and becoming one as he shot huge spurts of cum into you.

He muttered a prayer, asking God for forgiveness, his voice exhausted, hoarse, broken by orgasm.

And then you woke up.

Your room was quiet, the crucifix that your mom gave you hanging on the wall behind your bed.

It took a few seconds for your sleepy, blurry gaze to settle on it, you were sweaty and shocked.

You closed your eyes, shutting them and cursing under your breath. 

You unrolled your body from the sheets and then stood up and picked up the crucifix. Your days as a good, God-fearing girl were over.

A/n: if you don't know what is dream and what is reality in the story at this point, that's what I wanted, I hope it's not too confusing but I wanted to try something new. I hope you liked it and thanks for your time 🩷

[willow-moon-23]

Black Cat and Her German Shepherd

Aaron Hotchner X Fem!Reader

Summary: The tables have turned and now it's time for her team to meet her spouse.

Part 1

Word Count: 2437

Standing in the kitchen, her hands braced on the counter. She takes a long slow breath. Hotch walks up behind her.

“Are you feeling ok, colonel?” He wraps his arms around her from behind.

She glances back at him. “Fine. Just thinking.”

Hotch studies her for a moment longer. “Are you worried about me meeting your team?”

(Y/N) lets out a sigh. “No.” Her answer was flat, but Hotch could tell she was fighting a lot of thoughts in her head as she glares at the cleaned dishes on the counter.

“Then what is it?” He asks patiently.

She pushes off the counter, pushing Hotch a step away as well. “My team,” She starts slowly as she turns to face him. “I’ve told you the stories. They are a motley crew of hardened soldiers. They hardly have a filter when talking to higher ups and even less of one when talking to each other.”

“I’m aware.” He nods, letting her talk through her thoughts.

“They’re good men. I trust them with my life.” She speaks slowly.

Hotch brushes her hair from her face. "But?"

(Y/N) hesitates for a moment. “I don’t know. I can’t figure out why I’m hesitating like this.” She runs a hand through her hair and looks up at her husband. “You’ve met the captain before. Only because I got hurt, but you’ve still met him and he likes you. He always asks about you when I come back from leave.”

He nods along. “He gave me his number in case anything were to happen to you.”

“Yes. He’s a good man.” She agrees with him and begins pacing. “I know they won't judge us for any reason. They might make jokes if they are comfortable enough.”

Hotch walks up to her again and holds her shoulders, effectively stopping her pacing. “You’re overthinking it. Take a breath, colonel. I’ve never seen you this worked up. Not even when you’re being deployed.”

She does as he says and takes a slow breath. “This feels more nerve-wracking than a month-long mission and I can’t figure out why.”

“Maybe there is no ‘why’.” He rubs her arms gently. “Maybe you want to be sure that both your lives can coexist and not clash. There's no harm in wanting things to go well.”

(Y/N) looks up at the ceiling. “Maybe you’re right.” She drops her head to rest against Hotch’s chest. She slowly wraps her arms around him. “Stop reading me.”

Hotch chuckles. “I didn’t have to profile you to know all of that.”

She hums. After a moment, she pushes back. “Cap and Gaz said they would be here in ten. Johnny said he’d catch a ride with Ghost. Meaning they would be late because of him.”

“Do we have everything ready for them?” Hotch’s hands rub her back idly. He glanced around the kitchen, seeing all food was ready.

“Yeah, I just need to set the table and change.” She tilts her head as she thinks.

Hotch looks her up and down. “What’s wrong with what you’re wearing?”

“I’m in workout clothes.” Her tone was flat. She looks down at her sports bra and leggings with a raised eyebrow.

“I think you look great.” He winks.

(Y/N) rolls her eyes. “You’re awful. I’m going to change.” She turns away from him and walks to their room. Hotch chuckles as he watches her leave the kitchen.

Once the door closes behind her, he begins taking out the silverware and glasses to set the table for her. He sets it identically to when she had made dinner for his team about a month ago. He walks around the kitchen one last time making sure everything that needs to be turned off is before walking to their room. He knocks twice before entering. Hotch smiles and walks up behind (Y/N).

“I like this shirt.” He comments, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

(Y/N) closes her eyes and hums. “You should. You bought it for me.”

“Yes, I did.” His voice was smug. Before he could compliment her again their doorbell rings.

(Y/N) chuffs. “Saved by the bell. Take a second before you come out, yeah.” She pats his chest affectionately before walking out and closing the door behind her. She smirks as she hears Hotch groan behind the door. She takes a deep breath before opening the front door. She is greeted by her captain and one of her sergeants. “Evening boys.”

“Good to see you, colonel.” Price steps forward and envelopes her in a warm hug as she lets them into her home.

She accepts his hug and turns to Gaz. “How was the flight over?”

“Not too bad. Cap slept the whole way here.” Gaz laughs and offers her his own hug.

(Y/N) shakes her head and hugs him. “No surprise there.” She hears her bedroom door open behind her and pulls back. “Boys, my husband, Aaron Hotchner.” She steps to the side as Hotch enters the space next to her.

Price was the first to extend a hand. “Good to see you again, agent.”

“Likewise, captain.” Hotch shakes his hand, with a nod.

(Y/N) motions toward Gaz. “This is Sergeant Kyle Garrick, or Gaz, as we all call him.”

“I thought he’d be taller.” Gaz stage whispers to (Y/N) before extending his hand.

(Y/N) rolls her eyes. “I told you he’s barely taller than you.”

Hotch takes Gaz’s hand with a chuckle noticing his wife's banter with the sergeant. “A pleasure to meet you, sergeant Garrick.”

“Gaz is fine.” The sergeant gently corrects him. Hotch nods mentally takes a note.

A loud knock at the front door had (Y/N) turning to open it. ”And there are the last two.”

The four are met with Johnny’s grinning face the second the colonel opens the door. He immediately pushes into her house, hugging her tightly. “Bonnie, it’s been too long.” He squeezes her as if he hasn’t seen her in over a year.

“It’s been three days, Johnny.” (Y/N) pushes the Scott off with a raised eyebrow.

“Three days is three too long.” He practically whines at her. Gaz and Price chuckle behind them.

“He’s been whining the whole way here.” Ghost steps into the house and closes the door behind him. The tall Lieutenant towered over all five of them in his black hoodie and face mask.

The colonel chuffs. “No surprise there.” She turns to her husband. “This-”

“John McTavish, they call me Soap.” Johnny interrupts her with a grin and eagerly shakes Hotch's hand.

“Is our other Sergeant.” (Y/N) sighs. “And this is Lieutenant Riley. He prefers Ghost. Boys, this is my husband, Aaron Hotchner.”

“Federal Agent.” Ghost looks him up and down.

“Unit Chief.” Hotch nods, taking Ghost's hand.

Ghost hums and turns to (Y/N). “How’s the side?” he jerks his chin toward her.

(Y/N) shrugs. “Healing.”

Johnny bumps Hotch's arm. “So, how ya manage to tie ‘er down?” Gaz chuckles behind Johnny. “Couldn’t ‘ave been an easy feat.”

(Y/N) lightly smacks the backside of Johnny’s head. “He didn’t tie me down.” She glares at him. “Get in the dining room before I throw you out already.”

“Awe, don’ be like that, Lass. Just poken’ a bit of fun.” Johnny grins, knowing she’s not actually mad at him.

“Go.” She points to the dining room.

Johnny holds his hand up in surrender and walks into the other room with Gaz and Ghost behind him. Price chuckles. “Pay them no mind. They were all excited when you told us to come for dinner.”

Hotch steps next to his wife and gently rests a hand on her lower back. “I’m glad you all could make it. I know you’re going back tomorrow. So it means a lot to both of us that you took the time to stop here first.”

Price smiles. “Anything for one of ours.” He turns and walks into the dining room.

(Y/N) sighs and looks up at Hotch. “Any initial thoughts?”

“Your stories of Johnny don’t do him justice.” Hotch laughs softly.

She shrugs. “He’s something else alright.”

“Come on, they’re waiting for us.” Hotch softly nudges her forward.

“Fine.” She takes his hand and heads in. She takes her seat next to Hotch’s after passing out plates to everyone and looks around the table. Her team was all happily joking with her husband as they all settled in. Her team thanks her for the meal and eagerly digs in. They haven’t had a properly cooked meal like this in a while, so they enjoy it when they can. All of them make sure (Y/N) knows how thankful they are before the questioning starts.

“So, how bad has it been, been’ married to this one?” Johnny was the first to break up the sound of utensils on plates. (Y/N) glares at Johnny.

Hotch laughs it off. “Honestly, not much has changed for us. We love spending time together. Marriage just seems to work for us.”

“He puts up with me, it’s all I can ask for.” (Y/N) chimes in as she cuts another bite to eat. Her lighthearted comment brings a chuckle to everyone.

“You have a little one, right?” Gaz leans forward to ask Hotch.

“I do. Jack is at his aunt's house right now.” Hotch smiles as he talks about Jack.

Price turns to (Y/N). “He likes you?”

“He does.” She nods. “I mean, he better, I’ve been in his life since he was born.” She looks over at Hotch with a smile.

Price chuckles. “Fair enough.” Price turns to Hotch. “She told us you were a prosecutor before working with the BAU, correct?”

“Yes, I used to work as a prosecutor. I changed fields so I could do more good than I was doing then.” Hotch easily takes over the conversation. Telling them how he felt as if he could do more good being a profiler than he ever could as a prosecutor.

Her team continues to ask more questions, mainly about Hotch’s job and how he treats (Y/N) when she's home. Once everyone was finished eating the boys immediately help (Y/N) clear the table and wash up, not that she even asked them to. If anything, she told them not to, only to be, politely, pushed aside. Hotch stands next to her as Johnny and Gaz tell him about a mission they went on where they had to detangle (Y/N) and Price from a tree after a rough landing. (Y/N) and Price exchange glances when the two add more details than were true. A few eye rolls and scoffs were shared at the story.

Once all the dishes were done and Johnny finally finished another one of his stories, (Y/N) moved everyone into the living room. There Hotch tells them a bit more about what he and his team do. The team listens eagerly, hanging onto nearly every word. (Y/N) smiles to herself as she watches them. After a minute she feels a soft tap against her shoe. She looks up to see Ghost staring at her. He nods his head toward the kitchen. (Y/N) gives him a soft nod.

“You boys want tea?” She interjects softly as Hotch finishes his thought.

“I wouldn’t mind a cup.”

“Yes, please.”

“Sure, Lass.”

She nods as they accept. “Aaron?” She stands and looks down at her husband.

“I’m alright, thank you.” He smiles up at her.

“Ok. Give me a hand, Simon?” Ghost merely stands and follows behind her. The two walk into the kitchen as the four continue talking.

“You trust 'im?” He asks the second the two are out of earshot.

“With my life.” (Y/N) looks up at the lieutenant.

Ghost stares at her with matching seriousness. “He good to ya'?”

“Very.” She answers easily.

He nods. “If he tries anythin’.”

“You’ll be the first I call.” She interrupts his thought.

Ghost grunts. “'is team know you?”

“Met them a while back.” She nods.

He nods. After a long pause, he speaks up again. “I like 'im.”

(Y/N) chuffs. “Really? I couldn’t tell.”

“Don’ get cheeky.” Ghost narrows his eyes at her.

“Wouldn’t think of it.” (Y/N) turns to prepare tea for her team.

Once the tea was ready, the two brought out the cups and passed them to each member. They all say their thanks and ease back into asking questions. To Hotch’s credit he takes Gaz and Johnny’s lighthearted banter and runs with it. The night goes on with loud laughs and well-meant jabs at each other. Hotch got to sit back and watch (Y/N) and Johnny have a back-and-forth on whose fault a misplaced rifle started a five-day hunt for said rifle was. Sitting in his living room with his wife and her team allowed him to see just how close they all were and how much they cared for each other.

As the sun started to go down the team realized they should be heading out. They all said their goodbyes for the night, giving hugs to their colonel and strong gripped handshakes to Hotch. They thanked Hotch and (Y/N) for the meal and headed out the door.

Price stops by (Y/N) and rests a hand on her shoulder. “You have a lovely house. Thank you for having us over.”

“Thank you for accepting my invitation to join us.” She rests her hand over his.

“We’ll always come when you call, love.” Price smiles at her.

She returns his smile. “Drive safe.”

He gives her shoulder a light squeeze and tips the brim of his hat to her and nods to Hotch before walking to his car. (Y/N) and Hotch stand outside watching each of them get into the cars, Johnny waves at them as he and Ghost drive off first. Price and Gaz follow out the driveway.

Hotch wraps his arms around her waist and rests his chin on her shoulder. “Feel better?”

“I do.” She leans into him. Her hands hold his arms.

“You sure, you look pensive.” He tilts his head to look down at her.

She waves off his worry. “Price mentioned something about our next mission. It’s nothing to do with you meeting them.”

Hotch could tell she was being honest. “You think I meet their approval?”

(Y/N) nods. “Ghost likes you.”

“He barely said a word.” Hotch raises an eyebrow.

“That’s just how he is.” She shrugs. “I’m surprised you couldn’t tell, Mr. Profiler.” She teases.

“I think it was the twitch in his eye every time I touched you that made me think otherwise.” Hotch laughs. “You have a good group around you. They genuinely care for you.”

(Y/N) gives his arm a squeeze. “Yeah, they’re a good bunch.”

[the-one-and-only-elita]

One thing that I absolutely love about TFOne's writing is that it manages to avoid a lot of the heavier criticism I've seen regarding MegOp's hero/villain dynamic over the years (trust me, the mid-2010s TF discourse was crazy)

*Spoilers Below*

First of all, the narrative benefits so much from the main 4 cast members all being a part of the same exploited mining class. So many takes on MegOp have Orion being of a higher status (an archivist, a cop, etc) while Megatron is much lower down on the social latter (a miner, a gladiator, often in the context of being a slave).

I've seen many people be put off by this, because it feels as if Megs is being villianized for being rightfully angry at the system that deeply harmed and exploited him, while Orion/Optimus is praised for taking a more pacifistic stance despite him not suffering as much from or in some ways even benefiting from the system he claims to oppose. I don't find their dynamic to be as simple as that, and I do find these takes to be a bit reductive, but I do very much see where they are coming from.

I am definitely one of those people who's very frustrated with the way pacifism is hailed as the one true path of morality, and the inherent implication that taking any sort of revenge on the people who abused/exploited you makes you just as bad as them. Also, Marvel's particular brand of demonizing any form of radical political action, despite the system clearly being broken and corrupt, but being completely unwilling to offer any other alternatives to meaningfully change things for the better.

When looking at what I described above its pretty easy to see how a lot of versions of MegOp's hero/villain dynamic unfortunately fits into that trope. Bringing it back to TFOne, you can see how Op and Meg coming from the same political/social status subverts this. The existence of Elita and Bee only further illustrates that out of the 4 people of the mining class who were all deceived, exploited, and literally mutilated in the same way it is only D-16 that completely loses himself to his rage, even to the point where he loses compassion for his own companions and disregarding the safety of the other miners (when he decides to "tears everything down" and Elita exclaims he's going to "kill everyone").

What I think I love most about the characterization in TFOne is that Orion is the radical one. Not only that, but he is praised by Elita and by extension the narrative for it. He is constantly challenging authority, and is the first to have the suspicion that their society is structured in an unjust way.

Meanwhile D-16, to be frank, is kind of a bootlicker. He fully believed in the system and that Sentinal Prime, as someone with power, had the right to decided "what was best" for those who are weaker/lesser (I wish I had the specific quote from D-16 to support this, but the movie's still in theaters). It illustrate that D-16 already held certain fascistic ideals, and that he and Orion already have fundamentally opposing moral/political values, it simply hasn't been of any consequence yet. It shows that their eventual falling out was inevitable, even if they had decided to rebuild Cybertron together.

It should also be noted that D-16's feelings of anger and betrayal do not necessarily have anything to do with the unjust system itself, but that said unjust system was predicated on a lie. Hence his fixation on deception in the post-credits scene and him naming his faction the Decepticons. Meanwhile, when Orion learns the truth he's just sort of like "yeah, I always kinda knew something was up" because again, he understood on some level that their system was predicated on injustice.

Even D-16's obsession with Megatronus Prime, while initially an endearing aspect of his character, is also an indicator of the questionably large amount of value he puts on one's strength. It foreshadows the "might makes right" ideology that the decepticons follow, and is a key part of their ideological characterization across continuities.

Instead of the narrative we often see in Transformers media were Optimus is idolized by the narrative for being more moderate and Megatron is villiainized for being radical (or so people often claim), it is instead Optimus who is rewarded and praised by the narrative for being radical, and Megatron who is villainized and punished by the narrative for holding potentially fascistic values.

I do agree with some criticism I've seen that the whole thing with killing Sentinel and D-16's final turn into villainy felt a bit rushed and more than a little cliche, but I also understand it both had a limited runtime and that it is ultimately a family film meant to be accessible to children. More importantly though, I think the movie set the groundwork early on that, no matter how this final act played out, D-16 was always going to turn to darkness, and Orion would not have been able to stop him.

Its perfectly tragic, the way all MegOp should be, while also feeling really well thought out from a thematic standpoint. I love it.

[buttercupjosh]

The Perfect Proposal (the 4 times you expected that Mat was going to propose + the 1 time he actually did)

(Gif credit to @mattymartin)

word count: 1,968

genres: established relationship, fluff, self-insert

warnings: none

A/N: This story is based off of the song “Joy of My Life” by Chris Stapleton and I make references to this song throughout the story. I highly recommend listening to this song before reading my story. This story is short, sweet and fluffy. It’s not set at a specific moment in time (It’s taking place in a fictional future but you could also say that it’s set this upcoming season or even a past season). It’s written with a female reader in mind because I’m a female of color but the reader doesn’t specifically have to be a POC or a woman and there’s little dialogue. This is not a sequel to Your Favorite Secret (which you can still read and check out and if you want this to be a sequel to that, you can interpret it that way). As always, I’m open to any and all feedback, comments or questions; just put them in my inbox or dm me. Thank you so much in advance for reading, I appreciate it😌

(P.S. I have other stories (linked here) that I have written for other players as well if you want to check it out)

“Someday it will come right on cue.” -Somewhere Love Is Waiting for You from the Schmigadoon TV series soundtrack

Prologue

Meeting Mat changed your life in the best way possible. You took Mat’s breath away when you met up for your very first date and since then, you continued to take his breath away in small doses every time you saw him. He added so much goodness and love into your life and you did the same for him. Mat felt so grateful to have you in his life and even though he made millions, being with you was his greatest treasure. You and Mat deeply appreciated each and every moment you had together, no matter how big or small it was; the two years that you had been together so far were some of your greatest times. You were both so smitten that you always looked at each other with such deep love and devotion and couldn’t get enough of your significant other’s presence. For a while, Mat knew that he wanted to propose to you but he just needed to figure out the best way how to and time when to ask that all-important question.

————————————————————

It finally happened. After 3 challenging years, you finally completed law school and earned your Juris Doctor degree from NYU. All of your friends and family came into town to celebrate your accomplishment. In order to accommodate everyone, Mat graciously rented a large AirBnb house in the Hamptons to host your graduation party. You handled some aspects of the party planning while Mat handled the rest and the party went very well. During the congratulations portion of the evening, Mat wanted to give a quick remark to acknowledge your achievement.

“For the past 2 years, I watched this wonderful person ambitiously work their way through law school. There were a lot of late nights, early mornings and so many case reviews and vocabulary study sessions that I think I could go get a law degree. Y/N, to say that I am proud of you is a massive understatement. My love, you are so amazing and you did it. I love you so much. Because I love you so much, I have a surprise for you.” Mat spoke.

This moment seemed like it was the right time for Mat to ask for your hand in marriage; you had been dating for a while, you lived together and blended your families together, and he had just finished a great speech that made all of the party’s attendees realize how much he was in love with you. Instead, Mat handed you an envelope. Inside the envelope was a copy of a check for the exact amount that you owed in student loans and a letter informing you that your loans were fully paid off. You couldn’t believe what was happening and began to cry.

“How did you do this?”, you mustered out through your tears of joy.

“So you know how you gave me access to your book of important information in case anything happened to you? Well, I asked Liana to call the loan office to pretend to be you and ask for your account balance”, Mat cheesily revealed.

Mat saw firsthand how much distress and frustration law school caused you so he wanted to help out someone he deeply loved by eliminating the stress of having to pay for a student loan; this surprise was better than an engagement ring.

————————————————————

After your graduation party and after the Islanders were eliminated from playoffs, it was the official start of the off-season. This year, it was a milestone birthday for Mat’s dad so the Barzal family decided to do a European summer vacation to celebrate. You were important enough to their family that you had been invited and Liana, Mat’s sister, also invited her best friend to accompany her on the trip.

Hand-in-hand with the man you considered to be the love of your life and his family, for 3 weeks, you explored England, France, Monaco, and Mat’s ancestral homeland of Italy. In England, you indulged in English culture while Mat hilariously attempted a British accent. In France, you shared plenty of kisses with your lover in the City of Love, swooning every time Mat spoke French. In Monaco, you and Mat felt like the protagonists of a spy thriller while hanging out in the city.

Once you arrived in Italy, you got to see a different side of Mat that rarely came out. He had been to Italy several times before but he was thrilled to share all that he knew about that special place with you. Mat glowed differently whenever you got authentic gelato together or when he swam in the waters along the Amalfi Coast. Of course, throughout the trip, you still spent plenty of time with Mat’s parents, sister, and her friend and attended a lovely birthday dinner on a boat for Mat’s dad while visiting Sicily.

On the plane ride traveling back to Canada after your whirlwind European tour, you thought to yourself that you were going to come back to North America with a new jewelry addition to your left hand; you did have a lot of date nights and one-on-one time with Mat on the trip. However, your wonderful boyfriend did get you a gorgeous Cartier love bracelet from the official store in Paris and you were returning back with the gift of good memories that were created with your future in-laws.

————————————————————

The remainder of the off-season went by so quickly; between weddings, summer holidays, and other events all happening, you and Mat were swept in so many different directions. Time flies when you’re having fun and soon, it was already time to return to Long Island for the hockey season.

The usual ups, downs, and chaos of the hockey season lingered in your household but you navigated through it together. As the season went on, you spent a lot of time studying for the Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam and Universal Bar Exam, which allowed you to become eligible to be admitted to the New York State Bar next year. Even though you had those responsibilities, you still supported Mat at most of his home games. One of the things about Mat that you loved was how he would always quietly tiptoe into your shared home after a late game but he loved how you always waited up for him to come home after every game, regardless of what time he returned. Before you both knew it, the year was winding down and it was almost Christmas time. You and Mat had decided to host Christmas this year and both of your families were coming. This wasn’t the first time that both of your families had been together to celebrate an occasion; they were there all together for your law school graduation earlier in the year and both sides enjoyed being together as one cohesive unit but for some reason, things felt different to you this holiday season.

You spent hours preparing and making sure that everything was right for the arrival of your guests. Christmas came and went wonderfully. It was so nice to have your families together during the holidays. You gifted Mat a new game day tie and a gift card to one of his favorite road restaurants; Mat got you a nice bag to carry all of your work things and a personalized padfolio for you to take all of your legal notes in.

Yes, you were secretly expecting a diamond underneath the tree this year but it was okay because you still got other great gifts as well. Despite wanting something else, you still deeply cherished the time you got to spend with your loved ones.

————————————————————

After the holidays were over, you and Mat settled back into your respective routines until it was All-Star Break. Mat was not chosen for the All-Star Game that year and some of the Islanders players and families decided to go to the Bahamas for their team All-Star Break trip. The time away gave you and Mat both some essential rest and relaxation. At the end of February, you were scheduled to take the Universal Bar Exam but you took a break from studying to enjoy your mini-vacation. You stayed with your lover and company at a phenomenal resort; you swam with dolphins, relaxed at the spa, and ate so much tasty food. You also enjoyed lots of group activities with Mat and his teammates and their respective significant others. During the trip, one of Mat’s best friends’, Anthony, and his long-term girlfriend, Emma got engaged. It stung a little to see someone else reach the relationship milestone you deeply desired to share with Mat and you had expected that it was going to be you and your lover’s turn to share that special romantic moment on this trip, however, you were happy for your friends.

————————————————————

One evening, you came home from a long, exhausting day of work. After passing both the Universal Bar Exam and Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam and completing some other requirements, you were admitted to the New York State Bar last month and got a job as a junior attorney. It was a pleasant surprise to see Mat cooking; he was subtly singing in the kitchen and tenderly caring for some handmade pasta. You couldn’t quite make out what song Mat was singing but it didn’t matter what it was because you had caught him singing songs that you’ve played around the house and pop songs from the radio plenty of times before. You smiled to yourself as watched him in his element before slipping away for a much-needed shower.

After you came out of the shower and changed, there was a beautiful plate of pasta waiting for you on the table. Mat tapped deep into his Italian heritage and made a delectable dinner for the two of you. You shared with Mat the details of work and although, he may not quite fully understand everything you were expressing your feelings about, he still listened to you as you rambled on. After dinner concluded, you and Mat were going to share a box of bakery cannolis and watch a movie on the couch but Mat told you to wait at the table and suddenly got up. He returned to the room with a look of nervousness on his face. You asked Mat if he was okay but you could tell that he had something important to say.

“I’ve been holding onto this ring for a while. There were so many other times that I wanted to ask but there’s just something that feels so right about this moment. Sitting here, I realized something very important. I want to spend the rest of my life, making you dinner when I can and listening to you speak. I want to continue to come home from my games to you and wake up next to you. I have the greatest honor of knowing and loving you. You have the sweetest heart that’s made of gold and you are like an angel brought down to Earth from Heaven. I want to be by your side forever. Y/N, you are the joy of my life. Will you marry me?” Mat declared while holding out the engagement ring of your dreams in a Tiffany blue box.

You were speechless because Mat was right; this was the perfect moment. You looked straight into Mat’s green eyes that you admired so dearly and accepted his marriage proposal; you were both super excited to embark on this new journey in your relationship. You and Mat swayed with each other to the sound of your fiance’s voice, serenading you to “Joy Of My Life” by Chris Stapleton, the same song Mat was singing to himself earlier. Patience was an important virtue and all of that waiting paid off at the right time.

[redrose10]

#9 from the picture game!

Warnings: None

You sat at your computer screen anxiously waiting for your husband to answer your call. He was touring on the other side of the world and you might’ve missed him just a tiny little bit.

Finally after what felt like forever he picked up.

He didn’t say anything. Just sat staring at the screen. This was the eighth time you had called in the last four hours. The thing about Yoongi is he will always answer your call as long as he’s not performing or in an interview or something similar. And you knew that and would occasionally use it to your advantage.

Like right now when you called to ask him a question that you already knew the answer to. “Y/N,”, he said softly.

Not babe, baby, jagiya, kitten. Just your name. You knew he was getting frustrated maybe even a little annoyed so this was going to have to be the last time you called him.

“Ummm do you know where our measuring cups are? I want to bake some cookies and can’t find them.”, you asked rather shyly because you knew exactly where they were. The cookies were already made and cooling on a rack in the kitchen.

Yoongi licked his lips, “They should be in the drawer next to the spoons. If they’re not there then just let me know and I’ll order a new set and have them rush delivered.”

That was just like Yoongi. Even though he was exhausted and frustrated with you he would still go out of his way to make sure you were taken care of no matter what.

“Thanks Yoongs. I’ll check there. Get some sleep. I love you.”

“I love you too.”, he said before quickly ending the call.

You closed the laptop and slid it under the bed not wanting to be tempted to call him again. You were already pushing your luck.

Instead you did some laundry, straightened up the apartment, made lunch. You felt like hours had gone by so you grabbed the laptop excited to call Yoongi again as he should be awake by now.

Much to your dismay though the clock showed that barely two hours had passed. You closed the laptop and walked over to the bed.

“I can’t call him again. He needs to sleep.”, you sighed.

Maybe laying in the bed was a bad choice because the sheets still smelled faintly of him, only making you miss him more.

You tried to hold out as long as you could which ended up only being at extra twenty minutes before excitingly running over to your desk.

You waited and waited and finally Yoongi’s face popped up on the screen. His eyes were barely open and his hair was a mess. You had clearly woken him out of a deep sleep and you felt awful.

This time he didn’t even speak. He just sat there and stared at the screen.

You could feel your emotions starting to bubble up. Your bottom lip began to shake.

“I’m sorry Yoongi. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay Y/N. What do you need this time? Find the measuring cups?”, he asked.

You nodded, “Yeah I made double chocolate chip cookies.”

He nodded but remained silent.

“Umm I just…I”, you said fidgeting with a loose thread in your tshirt.

Yoongi stayed silent as he waited for you to continue.

So you said, “I was just wondering…If there was a zombie apocalypse and I got bit would you still love me even though I was a zombie?”

You saw him swallow thickly. He used his elbow to prop up his head and leaned forward to get a closer look. His eyes squinted at you and his eyebrows furrowed. His mouth stayed slightly agape. He didn’t speak. He looked like he was in shock, maybe a tad disgusted.

“I’m sorry Yoongi. I just miss you a lot. I won’t bother you again and I’ll try to change so I don’t do this again. Go get some sleep and call me when you wake up.”, you said feeling ridiculous before quickly ending the call.

You sat staring out the window for a few a moments trying to think of something to distract you. Your phone vibrated on the desk.

Your heart swelled and your cheeks hurt from how hard you smiled.

A text from Yoongi,

“I’d build you a really nice cage where I could keep you and still come visit you from afar because yes I would still love you even if you turned into a zombie. But I love you more just the way you are now so please don’t change, especially into a zombie because I like kissing you too much and I don’t want to give that up.”

[dropsnectar]

Pollen and Potions: Bee-men x Afab!reader

PART FOUR

So I know I said this part would have smut but it would just mess with the pacing, so the whole next section is where you will find your spice. This part is a little shorter for that reason. Anyway, I hope you like!

When you woke up, you felt incredibly warm. Your legs were tangled up with… someone elses? You would say it was someone else but human skin didn’t feel like this. It was firm and a bit fuzzy, but not like hair.  Your nose was being tickled by… fur? Whatever it was smelled amazing. 

You recognized this scent. You opened your eyes to Lyith’s round, sleeping face. His impossibly big eyes were closed, revealing his long blonde lashes. His expression was serene, and a bit of drool had escaped his half open mouth. Your sleep-addled brain vibrated with excitement. He was so cute you could just kiss him… 

Nope! Awake brain was working now, bringing some clarity to your head. Lyith and Rena had made a habit of covering your face in kisses but it had all been platonic. Excessive affection was a Bee-men trait. Probably? You thought back to yesterday, when he had kissed you and you had kissed him… was that truly platonic? 

There was a heat in your stomach, butterflies whenever he would hang off of you or tease… A part of you wanted to face these feelings but you weren’t ready yet. After all, how could a bee-men be with a human? You had heard of monster-human relations being something that could happen, but was their species even compatible with you? Was there a future there?

“You're thinking awfully hard for 8 in the morning.” Lyith breathed next to you. 

 Your awareness returned to you, and you were very cognizant of the fact that he had been holding you in his sleep. You pulled yourself back a bit so you couldn’t feel his breath on your face. He narrowed his eyes and his lip jutted out. A childish but cute pattern of his.

“W-What are you doing in my house?”

His mouth twitched. “You are a sick person. You should have someone to look after you. I’m  glad though, you only slept for a day this time.”

You looked at him, eyes squinting, “Are you okay though? Don’t you need to be at the hive for your… bee duties?”

Lyith sputtered at you, his body rocking with laughter. “And tell me, what are “bee duties”, Little witch?”

Your cheeks heated and you sat up, crossing arms over your chest.

“I just wanted to make sure you wouldn’t be in trouble, is all. What exactly is your duty in the hive anyway?”

Lyith stared up at you under his long lashes. “I am a forager. A scholar. An ambassador who goes to human town to get our supplies. Actually..”

He brought himself up and stretched out his wings. They seemed sturdy enough not to get too bothered by him laying on them all night.

“.. I used to know your grandmother. She used to let me forager her garden. Of course, she was a lot more sparing with her magic, so it was nothing like what you do.” He gave you a pointed look, “But she taught me how to speak human. An interesting person, your grandmother. We used to buy seeds for flower monsters off her. She must have had quite a life.”

You stared at him in surprise. Your grandmother had always been somewhat of a stereotypical grandmother. She’d spoil you and laugh at your jokes, leave little candies in your pocket when you weren’t looking. You had never imagined her to be the type of person to deal with Flower Monsters of all things. It also explained why Lyith seemed so trusting of you, off the bat.

“Hey Lyith?” You breathed out, trying not to think about how your legs were still touching.

“Yes?”

“Do you want some breakfast?”

***

After that, you saw Lyith almost everyday. He made a point of stopping to talk to you every time he visited your garden. Once a week he would take you to see Rena and you would work more magic over the plants. As the spring progressed into summer, the flowers changed. You learned that your magic, while creating magical nectar, only stayed within the plant and not the soil. You were right in your worry that a different approach was needed.

You met a lot more of the hive, as on their days off, some Bee-men would come and watch you work on the flowers. Not all of them were able to speak human, but they communicated their gratitude through sharing their emotions. As you experienced this more and more, you started to pick up on what could even be counted as them asking you questions. You’d try to answer in kind, putting a hand on their arm or shoulder and trying to push images or feelings at them. This worked only half the time, but when it did, the Be-men would look so pleased they would dance. 

Rena, had always seemed a bit jealous by this.

“Why don’t you speak to us like that? We speak human for your convenience you know. Aren’t I closer to you then some random creature?”

“Don’t call your hive mates ' creature’, that's rude.”

Rena would get up in your face, throwing her arms around your shoulders and touch her nose to yours. In your mind you would feel her jealousy. A possessiveness that you couldn’t help but feel a little giddy about. You tried to straighten out your feelings, giving her a kiss on the cheek. Then, you’d try to project some calm, warm energy at her. She just looked at you, sighing.

“You humans are a lot more dense than I thought.”

 Then she’d buzz off to deliver her nectar to the hive, leaving you behind in the company of her Hive mates. Lyith and Rena had been giving you more space lately when it came to your magic. You’d take more breaks, and often were given time to socialize. The Bee-mens youngest hive mate, Haven had grown especially fond of your company recently. He was your friend in gossip. 

Rena and Lyith had a habit of glossing over the issues of the hive, but Haven was very different. He would answer any question you could think of. You had learned that Rena and Lyith were actually pretty high up there in the social hierarchy, as they were both scholars who taught the rest of the hive in their free time. 

He was also very honest about the struggles of the hive.

“It's been about two decades since the last Queen died. We were having some issues with ambassadors from hives from the northern hive when a squirmish broke out. A lot of Bee-men died that day. Several of the Queen's favorite drones passed on and upon hearing the news her heart gave out.”

“Immediately? She wasn’t sick?”

“Do humans get sick before they die of heartbreak? For us it is impossible. Our bonds are our happiness. Without each other, our home isn’t a home, but an empty structure…” Haven trailed off, his expression wistful.

“But what was the squirmish about? I thought Bee-men were a friendly species.”

“You see, the two Queens had been sisters. The Northern Queen never liked our late matriarch and had been up to some mischief. She had convinced the Bunny Hybrids and the werewolves to move out of our territory. Eventually, the flower monsters left as well, and all the magic in the area just… disappeared. And Queens usually travel and make their own hives, or pick up abandoned ones. We’ve been waiting for so long!”

“Thats got to be hard. I mean, your guyses population can’t grow right?”

Haven looked at you weird.

“It’s more than that! Our Queens Pheromones give our magic structure! Without a Queen our magic grows weak and it's harder to communicate! Even making our honey properly becomes difficult because our grasp of our magic slips. We are so lucky we found you, little witch! Your magic is so easy to convert. I told you, you are a blessing!”

“But if you guys haven't been able to make honey properly for a while, how have you survived?”

“We haven’t. It's like your mana sickness. Sometimes our magic just eats us up.” You stared at Haven, your stomach turning. Haven looked at you sadly. “You should know this. Your Lyith and Rena have been sheltering you way too much. You're basically part of the hive at this point.”

You reached forward and hugged Haven. He trilled happily. 

“Honestly it could be so much worse!”

You spent the rest of the day in silence. You had known they were starving, but you hadn’t realized how badly. Something else didn’t sit right with you either. The fact that the monster races had left their territory had been something that had been bothering you. That had to be the reason why the soil wasn’t absorbing magic, right? That was the only thing that had changed?

Then it hit you. What was soil? It was broken down waste. No Monsters. No decay. No shit. And how did the Bee-men manage their own waste anyway? Could you do something with this? Could it really be that simple? 

You got so excited to tell Rena about it that it surprised you when you saw her at your door. Rena never made the trek to your house, saying that human civilization had a terrible smell to it. When you saw her face, she was crying.

“You have to come with me. Now.”

“Rena whats wrong, are you--”

“It's Lyith.”

All you could hear for a moment was the large thudding of your heart. Without another word you jumped into Rena’s arms and she held you, giving you a huge squeeze before buzzing off into the forest.

Part Five (Beware NSFW)

[merakiui]

JADE MUSHROOM DILDOS????? THE SENTIENT DOLL PROMPT?? WOULD SOME MORE DETAILS! WHENEVER I TRY TO RUN, THE TWEELS ENSNARE MY ATTENTION AND HEART BY WRAPPING THEIR LONG AND SLIMY TAILS AROUND IT <333

(Fem darling)

Although they're nerds... Maidenless, pathetic (absolutely adorable) I still adore the trope of suave and sleek on the outside, handsome and reliable (yet dubious) Jade, wild and free Floyd who wants to get freaky.. They're what the freshmen of NRC aspire to be. Charismatic and enigmatic.

Yet when behind closed doors, both of them are absolute loser virgins. Nerds who haven't lost their first kiss. Nerds that simply can't admit to liking the prefect~ They're always bullying darling cause it's "fun".

It's not like they could ever harbour feelings for a lil shrimpie! That's ridiculous! Their sex doll? Pfft! Doesn't resemble that shrimpie at all! (This reminds me a little bit of that onna hole series but the difference being that, darling doesn't feel it.)

They're just in complete denial aren't they? They both hide the sexdoll they have, Floyd doesn't know that Jade has one that's nearly the same, Jade doesn't either. Despite them having their own respective ones, their interpretation of darling is totally different! The dolls aren't literally alive, but when they're shoving their cocks, darling's moaning along with them.

When they're in a horny daze, the doll comes to life. (Like in Tatami Galaxy if you happen to know! Difficult to explain but I hope this made sense anyways (⁠ ⁠≧⁠Д⁠≦⁠) )

Floyd interprets darling as completely inexperienced, and really docile and responsive. Whimpers a lot and has this shimmery look in her eyes. (Another example of sex dolls in this instance would be Interspecies reviewer, it's an ecchi anime but I needed inspo ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ)

"N-no Floyd don't lick me there! Hyaaah! No! Floyd! Floyd-senpai! Nghh!" The pseudo darling whimpers and moans even if his performance is utterly sloppy! A darling that can unravel faster than him (who cums prematurely, wayyy too quickly! Too quick for an athlete!)

"Senpai's too big! You can't!" The cliché subby H-manga character that's catered to loser incels like him. Babbling way too quickly. (Realistically, it takes wayyyy more work to dumbify a person, a quick cummer would never get a real lady to reach that point of babbling in five minutes. Better luck next time, virgin eel!)

Jade interprets darling as someone that's bratty and just as passive aggressive as him. Darling usually wouldn't bother in engaging with Floyd since it doesn't change what Floyd's going to feel about doing his chores. Floyd is just such an unreckoned force, darling always does his bidding to shut his whining. Jade on the other hand is occasionally negotiable.

When the prefect is doing part time in the lounge, Jade's always attempting to break that patient exterior of hers just for his own amusement. (Cuz this loser does not know how to flirt.) Unlike the other staff who immediately lose their tempers and quit within the end of their contract, the prefect always smiles back at him. Giving Jade backhanded compliments, retorts that aren't explicitly rude. The prefect is resilient after all, she successfully negotiated with that stubborn tako for a fat check at every end of the month. This slimy eel can't just push her down so easily!

Darling will never back down, this check has given her and Grim more than just stale bread and leftovers for meals! Jade is sleek and cunning, but Prefect is not an idiot! Jade has met his match for backhanded comments and sly forms of insulting. Saccharine "service" smiles, never a frown on darling.

Jade wants to break that resilience. Something he can't have in reality.. A bratty darling that's easy to manipulate. A bratty darling who messes up her responses. He wants the prefect to feel shame. He wants her to fall for his figurative traps. He wants to utterly humiliate her just like how he did to all the employees that were subject to his bullying.

"Fuck you Jade! Fuuugh!" Insults just turn into moans as he erratically fucks his 'darling', it's not the prefect! It just coincidentally looks like her! The real prefect would never utter a single cuss, she has an image to uphold, but this doll right here? So utterly lewd! So bratty and potty mouthed. So vulgar! What a harlot! A horny harlot that's starved of cock! Jade's cock, a brat that gets trained into being an absolute shameless harlot, stripped off any form of dignity. Stripped off that elegant facade. So utterly dirty and below him.

For as long as those two don't work on their actual plans to get their hands on the real darling, they're left with the sad reality of cumming into lifeless caricatures of the real prefect. (They have zero rizz, they just keep fucking up their flirting attempts and opportunities.)

It would be even funnier if they read the doujins Idia makes. The MC is oddly familiar, can't think of who it resembles... Oh well, it gets the junk junkin!!!

I wanted a bit of a different trope for darling and the tweels! I hope it was good to read, Mera! I don't see a lot of Floyd pacifying darlings. (Maybe I haven't been looking in the right areas.) I just love a dynamic with Jade where he isn't as sleek with rude innuendos as he thought. Someone finally matched his passive aggressive freak!!

Always remember to prioritise yourself over content creation! It's quite easy to neglect the little things like hydration! It's been way too long since I last sent you an ask <3

Xoxo, Izuna.

꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡

IZUNA...... IZUNA!!!!! GRABBING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS!!! AAAAAAA THIS IS SO MUCH MORE THAN JUST A GOOD READ. THIS WAS BRILLIANT AND SO DELICIOUS AND AN ENTIRE FIVE-STAR MEAL!!!!!

(๑﹏๑//) I'm eating so incredibly good with this omg,,,, the different interpretations of darling for each eel is so yummy. Aaaaa Floyd would absolutely have a thing for being called senpai,,, it just sounds so lovely coming from your mouth... Floyb with his cock-drunk and no-thoughts-in-head-other-than-cum doll and Jade with his brat of a doll who fights him until the very end when she's unraveling beneath him....... so good. orz orz orz

They're both such losers!!! T_T getting off with a doll while imagining it to be the real you even though the spell breaks when they're no longer horny,, >_< aaaaa so maidenless!

That line in the beginning of your ask regarding mushroom dildos... 👀 there are so many thoughts in my mind... Jade is a freak when it comes to his mushrooms!!! You just happen to be his favorite darling to test these things on. <3