#do u get me. do u see the vision. im in pain

[dizzybevvie]

I have a very long rant with clips and everythin abt how this all connects but like. god.

Sora's repressed feelings for Riku being represented by a Tidal Wave. Riku holding that pose everytime in Sora's dreams and the possibility that its reoccuring to him because it relates to Riku giving him the crown necklace. Namine messing up Sora's already buried memory of the crown necklace. the name Namine MEANING "wave".

[marsbotz]

my hottest take ever. i think the the christmas danielle incident cld have saved their marriage

[gay-dorito-dust]

hiiii!!! im not too sure if requests are open, if they arent please just ignore this!!!!! i really really loveeeee the way u write angst!😭✌️ could i please request blade, dr ratio, aventurine and sunday reacting to finding their loved one on the floor barely alive? UGHHHH I IMAGINE THE SHOCK AND FEAR AND BREATHLESSNESS aqhjddkkxnsk

thank u smmm!!!!!😭🩷🩷

Aventurine

Didn’t think it was possible to physically feel his heart being ripped from his chest anymore then it already had, until he spotted your bruised and barely conscious body lying on the floor in a way that made his blood become ice cold.

‘No.’ He whispered to himself in disbelief as a tight feeling blossomed within his chest. It felt as though he was being painfully constricted or squeezed tightly by an invisible hand, a feeling that only grew worse with every step he made towards you until he was finding it hard to breathe.

‘No.’ Aventurine whispers again, not wanting to think of anything that he was seeing before him as real but more of a realistic nightmare. ‘Please don’t take them away from me, I’ll have nobody left.’ He pleads as he drops to his knees and struggled with unsteady hands to pull your body towards him and holding you tightly in his arms as he rests his head against your chest, desperate and hopeful of hearing your heart beat as proof that you were alive.

‘Haven’t you taken enough from me!!?’ Aventurine screamed at the top of his lungs, staring up at the ceiling as though the Aeons would hear the rage, the heartbreak and the pain within his voice. ‘Haven’t I suffered enough by your hand?! You have taken everything and everyone I have ever loved and now you think you can take from me again just because you feel like it!?!’ He continued to scream, letting everything he’s kept inside out as rivers of tears streamed down his cheeks, blurring his vision of you as he looked down at you as he felt his soul cry out for yours.

Everything within Aventurine was hurting and it was hurting like hell but that didn’t loosen his hold on you one bit, if anything it made him tighten it, almost as though he was the only thing stopping the deities from claiming your soul as theirs. Aventurine would fight them to keep you if he must and he didn’t care what the consequences of doing this would be, his left hand was more unsteady then ever as it desperately grasped for your hand, intertwining your fingers and squeezing; letting out a whimper when he didn’t feel you squeeze his hand back like you always did to reassure him that you were not going anywhere.

‘Please.’ Aventurine begged as he pressed his forehead against your own, not wanting to walk through this life if the one person who stood by his side wasn’t going to be there. ‘Don’t take them away from me, not now, I don’t want to be alone anymore.’

Sunday

He’s seething and seeing red.

He’s unable to contain his anger as he rushed to your side, clasping your hand tightly between his own, as though he could transfer some of his strength to you in hopes it would allow him to look in your pretty eyes again.

‘My love, I beg of you, tell me who did this to you.’ He pleads as could only watch your body with a sense of hopelessness and desperation for a sign. ‘Tell me who did this to you and I shall make them pay tenfold.’ He adds as his anger became harder and harder for him to conceal, how could he possibly keep his composure when you had been attacked because of your ties to him? Someone was out to get him but did so through underhanded means rather than direct confrontation and for that Sunday couldn’t help but think of a multitude of ways to capture this cowardly assailant for harming you.

When you did not answer him Sunday felt parts of his sanity begin to slip away as his breath hitched in his throat and his hands tightened on yours. ‘My love I beg of you to stay with me, for I cannot loose you now nor ever, I forbid you from leaving me this way. I cannot breathe without you, I cannot smile without you, for you are my lifeline in every sense of the word.’ He says as he felt the colour in his life begging to fade from view and become monochrome.

You were the colour in his life, you always have been, and without you he couldn’t see the beauty nor value in anything anymore as you were the most valuable thing to him. Sunday felt himself grow cold with every second they passed where you didn’t do anything to tell him that you were okay, all reason had left him as revenge took it’s place and almost as though a switch had been flipped within his head, Sunday stopped crying as his face became a blank slate.

‘I’ll keep you safe my beloved.’ He said as he lifted you in his arms. ‘You’ll never have to worry about anything else ever again once I bring back the person who did this to you at your feet, pleading for mercy and to spare their pathetic life.’ He then presses a kiss to your forehead as he looked ahead with a pair of dead, unfeeling eyes. ‘I promise this to you and so much more, just you wait my heart, I shall gaze upon your eyes soon enough.’

Ratio

He kind of internally shuts down upon seeing you laying on the floor, barely alive.

He stands there for prolonged periods of time not saying anything but it was clear within his eyes that Veritas was struggling to comprehend the situation before him in a logical manner.

Everything was quiet as though someone had just removed all sound out of the room and all he could focus on was the fact that you were barely moving, barely breathing but the expression on your face made it seem as though you were in a peaceful slumber. Veritas would soon snap himself out of his own mind and made his way towards you before kneeling by your side, he then placed two fingers to the pulse point in your neck and letting out a uneven sigh when he felt your pulse beat softly against his fingertips.

He hasn’t even noticed that he had been crying until he felt something wet hit his clothed thigh and reached up to touch his cheeks that were wet with the trail his tears had left. Nothing felt real yet everything was becoming too much for the scholar as felt himself actively trying to disassociate from everything as a way of dealing with the possibility of you dying.

His body is wracked with fear of an uncertain future as he kept his fingers glued to your pulse as a way as to ground himself in the reality that you were still alive despite what your current state looked like. He remained by your side silently, not a single word left his lips as he remembered your last conversation, it wasn’t pretty and a few unsavoury words were exchanged before you left his office with a heavy heart.

Veritas felt partially guilty for your current state even though everyone knew he had no part in it but he felt guilty regardless for how things were left between you two. He regretted not apologising for his blunt words and harsh criticism earlier, and now he had to deal with the horrible idea that that could’ve been your last ever conversation you had with him, along with the idea that you thought he might’ve hated you as you were left alone in a empty room after having been attacked in what you believed were your final moments.

Something of which that wasn’t true at all, Veritas loved you dearly and held you close to his heart whenever you were apart, finding himself longing to come back to your side and fall asleep together within the comfort of each others arms. However that didn’t mean much when he could barely hold you without touching a wound by accident and keeping his hands to himself for the rest of the day in fear of hurting you further.

Veritas had never felt such raw fear in his life until you were almost taken from him and on such negativity terms too. Something he wishes to never experience ever again.

Blade

Death refused to claim him and so it decided to try and stake its claim over you -the one person whom Blade cared deeply for -which didn’t sit right with Blade as he wordlessly held you in his arms, his jaw clenching at the sound of your pained whimpers.

‘Death won’t have you,’ he began, ‘I won’t allow it to because if it refuses to give me what I have been long since owed, then I will keep you from its clutches for as long as I can until it submits to our whims.’ Blade then kisses your forehead. ‘I will not let it claim you when you have so much to do, whereas I on the other hand, have nothing left ahead of me.’

Blade hated seeing you hurt but this only made him want to hunt down whoever did this to you and make them pay with their life, but he knew he couldn’t leave you on the assumption that they might come back and finish you off when he turned his back, so he stays by your side like a guard dog with his hand at the hilt of his sword constantly as he awaited for help.

Blade never thought he’d find himself in a situation where he wished death didn’t come, especially when that person was you because you were his guiding light, his only love and he would do anything to keep you safe and protected from all harm that came your way; even if that meant denying death to have your soul.

In comparison to him, you had so much more to offer and so much to accomplish in life, and Blade knew he would never forgive himself if he were to let you die before you even saw the fruit of your labour with your own two eyes. He wanted you to reach the stars and see that all your work wasn’t for nothing and then see you reach heights that he could only dream of touching.

He didn’t care what happened to him, he could heal as fast as he was hurt but you, you couldn’t heal like he could and the wounds that littered your body would become scars, scars that would look similar to his own that reminded you of what you had survived by the skin of your teeth. Blade didn’t want to loose you to something he could’ve easily prevented from happening, he felt as though he had failed you and for that he couldn’t forgive himself for what happened to you, calling it a mishap on his behalf in ever leaving you unguarded.

So now he stayed close to you, hand at the hilt of his sword, tempting fate to try and take you away from him again.

[ryuzakistoe]

The Rin x Reader story is great! Can you please make a part 3 for with angst with bad ending? After Rin came back from the Blue Lock, he learned that the reader passed away and also learned that she passed away the day the last time he saw her.

YESS I DEFINITELY CANN I HOPE U ENJOY THIS‼️😌

Reunited once more PART 3 ANGST VER. (Rin Itoshi x Fem!reader)

Lots of angst, language, depression, self-blame, fem!reader, breaking down Rin Itoshi����

a/n: I'm definitely doing my boy isagi next😅😏

“Rin…”

Its no use…how could you tell him now?

“Please…wait..”

You haven't even told him about your condition.

“Come back..”

With each passing second, his figure grew smaller and smaller.

Its too late now.

He's gone.

…

You fell onto your knees as you began to cough out blood.

Shit…please…not now…

Your eyes welled up with tears once more as you clenched the fabric of your shirt over your heart.

You didn't get to tell him about your heart condition.

The pain in your chest was almost unbearable as you began to cry harder.

Your vision began to fade to black as you prayed for Rin to come back.

“Rin…”

Those were the last words you mumbled before you finally collapsed onto the hard, cold floor.

~~~🥀~~~

*BEEP*

*BEEP*

*BEEP*

You let out a groan as you slowly opened your eyes.

You let out a soft wince as your eyes were blinded by light.

As you adjusted to the brightness, you began to take in your surroundings.

‘Where am I..?’

You moved your head towards the side as you saw a familiar figure sitting besides your bed.

“Mom..?” you weakly mumbled.

Hearing her name, your mother perked her head up.

Her eyes were swollen, as if she was already crying.

“Y/n! Goodness you're awake. Baby… what happened? I found you on the floor outside…what were you doing? You know how dangerous that is with your condition.” your mother lectured as she began to hug you.

“I know mom, I know.” you mumbled as you laid stiff on the bed, not having the current energy to hug her back.

“Baby…tell me, what were you doing outside?” your mother asked once more.

Your eyes welled up with tears as you recalled the events from earlier.

“I don't remember.” you lied as you shifted your gaze from your mom to your hands.

A slight frown made way to her face.

“Sweetie…just know that you can trust me okay..?” your mother softly spoke as she began stroking your hair before getting up from the chair.

“I know mom.” you forcefully smiled as you blinked the tears away.

Your mother smiled back before walking away towards the door.

She gave you one last worried look before shutting the door and leaving the room.

As soon as she left, the tears that you had been holding back resurfaced.

You let out a choked sob as your tears began to gush out.

Your eyes began to get all puffy and your nose all red.

“Im so sorry Rin..” you whispered as you continued to cry.

~~~🥀~~~

A few hours have passed, and with each passing hour, you felt increasingly drained.

Every slight movement caused excruciating agony to surge through your body.

It felt as if your body was on fire.

You lay there, motionless, as the nurses came in to check on you.

As the nurses checked your IV and your stability, the doctor soon entered with a displeased expression.

He let out a sigh before speaking.

“Miss Y/n, its safe to assume that your condition is not getting any better. I'm sorry but…your not going to make it.”

Huh? What?

Your breathing came to a halt as you processed his words.

‘Not going to make it’

‘Condition not getting better’

‘Im sorry..’

Those words kept swirling in your mind.

Was that it? You were going to…die?

“If you have any last requests you’d like to make, would you like to do them now?” the doctor spoke, making sure to keep the most respectful tone.

“Does…my mom know?” you softly uttered as your tears began to arise once more.

“We have alerted your mom already, she was here earlier when you fell asleep.” the doctor answered.

“I see,” you said as you tried to hold back your tears and frustration. You were not ready to bear the pain once more through crying.

“Would you like to be alone Miss Y/n? To recollect and process your thoughts?” The doctor suggested.

“Yes please.” you weakly muttered as you began to space out.

With a nod, the doctor and nurses respectfully left as they quietly shut the door.

As you lay there, a few tears couldn't help but escape from your eyes, despite your efforts to hold them back.

You refrained from sobbing or thrashing around, knowing it would cause unbearable pain in your body.

All you could think of right now was Rin.

There were so many things that you didn't get to tell him.

For example, your condition.

You didn't even get to tell him that you loved him—romantically.

But there were other things you didn't get to tell him.

However you were expecting this to happen, so you wrote down everything you wanted to tell him on your phone.

You left your phone without a passcode so that Rin could easily access it.

Finally, he will be able to understand how you felt.

About him.

About you.

About everyone else.

About things you like.

About things you dislike.

About everything.

~~~🥀~~~

“CODE BLUE CODE BLUE—”

Hospital staff and nurses rushed into the room you were stationed at.

“Ma’am please step aside. Everyone is doing the best they can.” One of the nurses spoke as they tried to calm down your mother.

Your mother's anguished cries echoed through the hallway, after all, her beloved child was dying.

A group of hospital staff hurriedly brought you into the emergency room as they tried to keep you alive.

The heart monitor appeared to be showing an irregular and alarming increase in speed.

The nurses and doctors did everything in their willpower to wake you up.

You were unconscious and your life was slipping away.

Other nurses tried holding your mom back from entering the room.

Screams and crys were heard from her as they kept her out the room.

Of course, they felt bad and pitiful but what could they do? They had to let the professionals do their job.

They had to help you live.

…

A few weeks had passed and Rin was finally taking a break from blue lock.

He decided to go back to his hometown for the meanwhile.

He went to visit his mom and maybe even you.

Although would you want to see him? He's been questioning that.

Soon enough, he’ll get his answer.

Hopefully.

Rin finally arrived at his destination as he knocked on the door.

A few seconds later, his mother opened the door.

Usually, she would be ecstatic to see him. But right now, she seemed…mournful.

“Rin, your home.” she sadly smiled as she opened the door for him, allowing him inside.

“Yeah, I am. Is something wrong?” he asked as he observed his mother's actions.

His mother paused at his words, her eyes welling up as she responded.

“Rin…i think you need to sit down for this..” his mother wobbily spoke as she led him to the couch.

“Mom what happened?” he asked once more as he felt his body coursing with anxiety.

Rin wasn't sure what to expect as his mother let out a heavy sigh, revealing that the words she was about to speak were going to be difficult for the both of them.

“Rin…Y/n…she..”

"She what?" he asked as his mother paused mid-sentence.

He felt his anxiety worsened at the mention of Y/n.

Had something happened to her while he was gone?

He didn't want to think that but the way his mother is acting…it must've been bad.

"Rin, she passed away," his mother softly whispered as she hung her head low.

Rin's mind seemed to have stopped as he stared at his mother.

‘Passed…away..?’

How?

You seemed fine when he left. Well…not totally fine mentally. But physically you were fine.

Right?

“Mom, this isn't something to joke over, you know-”

“Rin.”

Hearing his name he paused.

He observed at how his mom lifted her head up.

Her eyes were all red and puffy.

Her breathing was uneven.

Her lip quivered ever so slightly.

He scanned her face, trying to detect if there were any lies or fake acts.

Unfortunately…he found none.

He felt his heart drop.

‘No…but…how..?’

He sat there, motionless.

He didn't want to believe it, no way.

His eyes began to sting.

Was he…crying?

He lifted his hand to touch his face.

Just as expected, he felt tears.

Before long, he felt more tears welling up. He couldn't hold them back.

Tears poured uncontrollably from his eyes, he tried to restrain them, but his tears flowed as they showed no signs of stopping.

It was too much to handle.

He didn't even get to say goodbye to you.

But most importantly…how did you…

“Mom…” he whispered as his voice cracked a little.

“Yes Rin..?” his mom sniffled as she used a tissue to wipe her stained face.

“How did she…” he trailed off, not wanting to finish the words.

“Heart failure...” his mother answered.

He let out a quiet sob.

Why? Why didn't you tell him?

He couldn't help but blame himself. He would've never done what he did if he knew you were going to pass away.

No…he would've spent all his time with you.

“Before I forget Rin…Y/n…she wanted you to have this. It was her final request.” his mom softly spoke, breaking Rin out of his thoughts to hand him your phone.

He quietly grabbed your phone as fresh tears were stuck on his face.

“I think you should read it in a more private space.” his mom whispered as she felt concerned for Rin.

After all, she did always see them together almost every day.

With a nod, Rin forced himself up and began walking to his room.

He opened his door and plopped down on the bed, staring at your phone.

After a while of mentally preparing himself, he finally unlocked your phone to find out you had no passcode.

You probably really did want him to have your phone.

As he looked through your phone, he finally opened the app, ‘notes.’

The first note to ever pop up was titled, “For Rin.”

Rin hesitantly clicked on it as he slowly read your notes.

‘Hey Rin, if your reading this then I guess its already happened. I'm sorry I didn't get to tell you earlier, I just didn't want to burden you any further and ‘force’ you to stay. You probably wouldn't even believe me and think that I would be making it all up just to get you to stay for my selfish reasons.’

“You were never a burden to me…” Rin softly whispered as he felt his eyes stinging once more.

He felt his warm tears drip down his face and land on your phone.

Nevertheless, he kept reading.

‘Beaides all that, I just wanted to tell you that this ‘heart condition’ has been going on for a while since I was young. I never thought to bring it up back then because I didn't want my silly condition to get in the way of our fun.

Now I realize that it was stupid of me to not bring it up as it only worsened from that point on.

All those times when I said I couldn't play because I was ‘sick’ and had a ‘fever’ were all partially true but it wasn't the whole truth.

The day that you left, I wanted to tell you right then and there everything, but couldn't.

When you were gone from my vision, I suddenly collapsed and woke up in the hospital.

The doctor told me I didn't have long left to live.

When he told me those words, I felt like breaking down.

Surprisingly, I didn't but still felt very miserable by the news.

But to be honest, all I could think about was you, Rin.

Even though I'm gone, I still want you to pursue your dreams and live on without me, although you probably already are.

“Dont be silly Y/n…i can't without you here..” Rin softly murmured, his vision getting blurry from all the tears. Yet, he still continued to read.

‘Oh, and before this note ends I want to tell you one last thing.

Rin, I love you. I always have as a matter of fact.

And no, its not in a friendship way but more of a romantic way.

You see Rin, ever since we were little I always had a little crush on you. But I mean who wouldn't?! You were so cute back then! And now your even more cuter! Handsome too!

Soon, that ‘little crush’ developed into love.

I never told you because I never wanted to ruin the friendship we had although its already kinda ruined already.

And even if you ever did feel the same way, (which I kinda doubt but who knows?!) I'm sorry that you had to find out this way.

Maybe in another life we could be happy together without my stupid condition. Romantically or not.

And in that next life, if it is romantically, I hope we could strive together and have a future with the two of us in it, with me actually confessing to you in person.

But if its in a friendship way, I hope we can still stick together like back then.

But right now, in this lifetime, it seems as if it can't be either of those two.

Promise me one thing though Rin, please take care of yourself.

I love you.’

-Y/n

He felt like he couldn't breathe.

His hand started shaking violently as he dropped the phone onto the bed.

His sobs became louder and louder as seconds passed by.

“Y/n…” he choked out as he began to tug on his hair.

The pain in his heart was insufferable.

He's never broken down like this ever since the Sae incident.

But this…this was definitely worse than the day Sae neglected him.

It was about you, and you were gone. Long gone.

He couldn't help but let out a frustrated scream as he threw his clutter across the room.

His crying escalated into a full breakdown as all he could think about in the moment was how much he regretted his actions.

He's never hated himself as much as right now.

Would all of this have been different if he never pushed you away?

Well, no, of course not. It's not like he can change your heart condition, but he could have at least provided you with support.

He could have at least let you rest peacefully, with you knowing that he still cared for you.

But you probably thought that he hated you.

And he hated the idea of that.

The idea of you passing with the belief of him hating you made him feel such overwhelming and intolerable guilt.

With fists clenched together so tightly, his nails pierced through his palm as his knuckles turned pure white.

He let out a frustrated cry as he punched his wall.

This was his breaking point.

He slumped against the wall, pulling his legs to his chest and burying his face in his arms, overcome with violent sobs.

“I love you too Y/n…” he whispered.

~~~🥀~~~

Days have passed and Rin hasn't been able to get much sleep.

It was noticeable too.

Rin had heavy eyebags as he wasn't speaking as much.

Every day, he would always lock himself in his room.

He would lie down on his bed, feeling numb as he blamed himself for all that's happened.

Some nights, he would curl up into a ball on his bed and cry all night.

He would cry himself to sleep.

Your missing presence really affected him.

…

Today, he had planned to visit the graveyard, as he did almost every day when he had the time.

Arriving at your tombstone, he fell to his knees, tears welling up in his eyes once again.

“Y/n…I really can't do this without you.” he mumbled as replaced the old flowers with new ones.

Every day, Rin would always be the one to look after your tombstone.

On rainy days, he would place a small umbrella over your gravestone to prevent mold from growing on it.

And every time the flowers were wilting away, he would always be the one to replace them with your favorite flowers.

“Y/n…I don't know what to do without you. I need you here with me…”

Rin bit his lower lip as he tried to compress a sob.

“I miss you…I miss you so much it hurts.” Rin muttered as he wiped his tears away with his sleeve.

Although it was pointless, his tears just kept flowing.

“Fuck this…I can't do this anymore.” Rin grumbled as he gripped the hem of his shirt tightly.

“Y/n…Y/n come back to me…please!” Rin sobbed as he slammed his fists onto the ground.

“Tell me this is all just one big joke Y/n! Tell me your not really gone!”

Of course, he knew all too well that this wasn't a joke.

It was real life.

You were really gone.

Rin hunched over as he began to cry into his palms.

“I love you Y/n…I wish I could've told you too…”

a/n: omg I'm so tired but anyways I hope you liked this

OH and I also got the ‘notes’ thing reference from that one K-drama “Drawing Closer” bro…that made me cry so bad😭

Zoo wee mama🤤

[lavellane]

ok i have avoided talking abt my datv thoughts but now ive finished and slept on it here it is. this is huge btw and really just a way to process my thoughts for my own peace of mind. and get out what i need to say. so yeah word salad below

2 disclaimers before i start. firstly i think im going to be SUPER blunt and clear about my thoughts on this post but then i will mostly be putting the matter to bed in my heart bc i am not someone who delights in being a hater nor do i take comfort in it. i will take from this the things i enjoyed and keep my distance from the rest. second disclaimer: ultimately i think i will still enjoy being a part of the fandom and seeing other people enjoy the game, because it will endear it to me and maybe take away the pain im feeling right now, so this isnt a long rant to make you feel bad about enjoying the game if you do like it! in fact quite the opposite. it comforts me that there are people who find value in the game and i hope in watching you play it i may be able to eventually be able to say the same

that being said . obviously i didnt like the game

which is an extremely difficult thing for me to say. i went into this game thinking "i will at the VERY least enjoy the game. not love it but at least like it. but im sure ill love it". it really is quite distressing for me that it didnt even really reach that bar for the most part. i TRIED to like it. i begged this game to give me ANY handhold at all that i could cling to, to forgive and like this game. i think the things i liked err more on the technical side. the graphics i loved, the character DESIGN was *fantastic*. the art. the pacing. the vague vision of what they were obviously nebulously aiming for. and honestly, i mostly enjoyed the main plot although i wish it had been more disciplined and constrained with the lore it was trying to expand on. act 3 was fantastic and naturally i am happy and fulfilled for the most part by the conclusion of solas's story, who i still believe was and is the best written "villain" of dragon age. sorry logang and meredith nation but i do still stand by this.

but thats really about it. as a disclaimer i am not an origins puritan or a da2 diehard or anything like that. i have loved (almost equally) EVERY single iteration of dragon age which has been released. i am one of the few people who sees equal value in inquisition and origins. i love them both so deeply. i couldnt pick between them.

for me what i love the MOST about dragon age - and which every single previous game has always nailed despite other flaws - is the characters. right under that is the world's capacity for introspection. and unfortunately nothing in this game provided that for me

regarding the characters: i do not care about a single one of them unfortunately. or at least i do not CARE about them the way that i have CARED about the other previous games companions. companions i would write banter about !!! just for fun when i was bored!!!! i would say my only exception is harding, but even then i care about her only because i care about her due to inquisition. overall i just found them all so ..... shallow. and devoid of any of the conflict or nuance or ethical quandries that make biowares stories so compelling - and sure, usually controversial! i would give ANYTHING for this game to have been controversial. for a unforgivable RO, or a problematic fave, or a cancelled wife. did bioware forget that their most beloved or at least enjoyed characters are people like anders, merrill, mordin solus, blackwall, sten, loghain, SOLAS??? i dont understand HOW they could have forgotten that, because solas is literally right there in game and handled (in my opinion as a fan) well. love him or hate him or dont care about him, he is such a hallmark of great bioware writing (in dai if nothing else) - characters who are not EASY to like. characters who are not SAFE to write and who WILL generate criticism from all sides because they are written boldly and unapologetically, strengthened by a foundation of consistent ideals, clear objectives and beautiful faults. characters that do not NEED you to like them, but instead invite you to engage with them critically. solas, even to someone who hates him, is nuanced and morally complex enough to muse and fight over for 10 whole years. hes IN this game, just as ethically murky as ever, but the morally grey hallmark of biowares writing really does kind of live and die with him alone. the rest of the companions feel like they barely made it out of their concept phase. what are lucanis's flaws??? genuinely asking. other than being a murderer who exists in an organization which buys and trains literal child slaves of course, but i'll get to that in a sec (because bioware sure as fuck didnt). um, i guess you could say hes broody?? and emmrich too. what actual flaws does he have?? he has a fear of death, as we're TOLD, but it does not really reflect in the overall convesations we have with him over the course of the game. mostly hes just.... a little bumbling i guess. bellara's flaw is being a scatterbrain. harding's is that shes..... angry??? but shes not???? fucking come on. i really felt the lack of actually being able to TALK to these people at the end of act 2, when i realized i still felt like i havent really MET any of them. and yet here rook is talking about found family and being a team. ok

and then there are the romances. which from my perspective - having romanced taash - and my friends who have romanced lucanis, neve and davrin..... WHAT romances. davrin's full romance is 20 minutes in a 30 PLUS HOUR GAME. solas had the least amount of content out of any companion in inquisition and was a last minute unintentional RO and still had like easily 50 minutes of content. so why did these romances feel like nothing. actually nothing. i was so excited for taash, but their romance straight up felt like neither rook nor taash even wanted to be there. i forgot they were technically together at certain points. zero chemistry. zero intimacy. all TELLING zero SHOWING. if you had told me that i would be saying these sorts of things about a writer like trick weekes a month ago i would call you fucking crazy to your face. i cannot reconcile that taash was written by the same person who wrote solas. i cannot reconcile that mary kirby - who wrote the fucking chant of light - wrote lucanis. its so dire. its devastating actually.

lastly i want to talk about my other point - bioware's famed emphasis on introspection and ethically quandries. again, i'm genuinely experiencing a sense of profound whiplash because when it comes solas's character you can still see it. its still there. they actually doubled down on making him worse than he was in trespasser which i LOVED and thought was so incredibly promising. they could have caved to solavellan fans and uwu-ified him but they didnt. thats great.

but where was that energy for literally anything else. everything has been defanged - even minrathous, the capital of the tevinter slave trade, does not even ADDRESS the elephant in the room of slavery. and i know because i played a shadow dragon. so tell me why i as a shadow dragon am happily allied with the crows, who solely exist to assassinate politicians and BUY SLAVES. THEY BUY SLAVES. THEY BUY SLAVES AS CHILDREN AND TRAIN/TORTURE THEM TO MURDER. HELLO??????????? there is no commentary made about the mages/templars. there is no discussion of the treatment of the elves in the north or Anywhere. there is no discussion of why exactly blood magic is or isnt acceptable - they simply tell us its bad. all the theories of the last 10 years were answered with handwaved comments or bare bones codex entries that honestly stripped so much nuance away from so many things (the blight, my BELOVED) that i dont know how im going to go about fixing it or making it right in my head. the introspective nature of dragon age always went hand in hand with player choice, but there really WAS no choice in this game as so there IS no real capacity for other interpretations or schools of thought. it is so..........................bleak.

i think the thing that finally made it click in my head that this game had fundamentally let me down was the gloom howler quest. and i know im not alone on this. for those of you who dont know - the gloom howler, "isseya" was the protagonist of the dragon age novel "the last flight". i would HIGHLY recommend you read it, especially if you're an origins fan. super bleak, super political, not flashy at all in terms of magic. it was set 500 years pre origins, during the 3rd blight. isseya is very similar to characters like loghain and solas in a way - a richly complex, beautifully intricate, terribly thought provoking character who did HORRIFIC things for the most NOBLE reason you could imagine, under the most traumatic of circumstances. im tearing up just thinking about her story, and how the title "the LAST flight" foreshadowed that her story had a definitive, bittersweet, finite and peaceful ending.

and then this game did THAT to her. turned her into a grotesque caricature of what she was. stripping her of her nuance and her capacity for atonement or forgiveness. and once again, i do not fucking get it. she was obviously brought back because she is a parallel to the solas dilemma. so WHY is she not afforded the same opportunity for empathy that he is. why is bellara's brother not either. its insane. its literally insane. i cannot begin to imagine the oversight or laziness or WHATEVER IT WAS that occured to have this game turn out this way.

there are innumerable other problems with the game that im not going to get into because what ive said above is the main crux of my problem. introspective and character. those are all i really wanted from this game, and like..... i thought we would get that. because the game centered around solas. and i know people dislike his fans for very fair reasons, but i hope those who know me know that i enjoy him not because hes hot (he is though) but because he is terrible. i love him because they made a character who was TERRIBLE, and then gave you the task of using your head and refelcting on your own morality and values and deciding and arguing and meditating over whether he is worth loving anyway. to me, solas is the person i point to when i want to describe why i love dragon age. its complicated, its nuanced, it is terrible and wonderful and everything in between depending on the angle you look at it from. and so having the writer of a character like THAT in charge of the whole game filled me with hope and dissuaded so many of my fears for this game. but i was wrong apparently.

so now im left with a feeling akin to survivors guilt. genuinely. because at the VERY least, despite me saying all of these negative things, i at least finished the game crying happy tears and being overjoyed that my favourite character was handled well and got an ending i enjoyed. and yet that happiness *i* got to feel and that glimmer of good writing was paid for at the expense of literally everything else. i feel almost personally responsible in a way, which sucks. im sorry to all the people who did not enjoy or care about solas, im sorry that you really did get nothing out of this game. i hope we can all be comforted by the trilogy we have and will always have, and i hope we can all take what good parts we enjoyed out of veilguard and make peace with the rest

leaving this youtube comment my friend sent me which is unfortunately a summary of how i feel about the game as a whole.

[oreowooyoung]

pirate!jongho x stowaway fem!reader drabble

warnings: mentions of blood & injuries

rating: 14+

note: i’ve never seen a specific pirate jongho fic written and i thought why not try and write smth myself :,D idk if this is actually good i kinda just threw words down and hoped for the best lmao… i’m not super good at writing lol- all and any feedback would be appreciated <3 if enough people enjoy it i might continue it :3 (i know i left at an awkward spot ;-;) so plz let me know what you think <33

do not copy, translate, steal, or revise my writing!!

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

your head spun. you were dizzy and your vision was blurred. everything hurt. you knew you should probably try and stop the blood coming from the sword cut on your arm, but you were just so tired. you were in a safe enough spot. (as safe as you can be stowed away in an unknown vessel) you were hidden between two large crates with a rough cloth you had found covering your body. i’ll just rest my eyes for a moment… you thought to yourself taking deep breaths to try and calm your thundering heart. that moment turned to a few hours. 

-

you woke to the sound of heavy footsteps coming down the ladder that leads into the room you’re in. the one you fell down trying to get down earlier that day. earlier that day or yesterday… you can’t remember… everything just feels so fuzzy. you try to keep your breathing quiet as you hear the footsteps get closer. you shift slightly and barely keep down the cry that builds in your throat from moving. everything hurts and it just the smallest move made you want to go back to sleep that instant.

 “can you check how full the water barrels are? im gonna check the crates” a man’s voice asked, it was deep but soft and if you weren’t in the situation you are in you might’ve wanted to hear him talk on and on. the footsteps came closer to your hiding spot and u held your breath hoping he’d not look to closely and see you. “yah the extra blankets fell again” he mumbled to himself, annoyed, as he grabbed the rough cloth off and revealed your hiding spot. “WOOYOUNG! COME HERE NOW” the man yelled as he grabbed your arm pulling you out from where u had been sitting. you were unable to hide your cry of pain when he pulled you to stand. you barely could, the world was spinning and your knees almost buckled after putting weight on your right foot. the other man, wooyoung, ran over quickly after hearing him call. “what the hell jongho-“ he stopped himself after seeing you. you were sure you looked terrible, probably covered in blood and barely able to stand on your own.  “looks like we’ve got ourselves a stowaway.” jongho said. “and a girl too” wooyoung added. your heart felt like it was about to fly out of your chest, you hands were shaking and you tried to control your breathing “m’sorry-“ you rasped out, your voice scratchy and strained from little use. you whimpered in pain when jongho started to pull you towards the ladder that led out of the storage room. wooyoung was just watching, shocked. “come on woo, she’s obviously injured and we need to take her to captain.”

[oldiesstationlover11607]

it's p obvious who I am w these requests bc I literally said so in the comments of my first request but THANK YOU SO MUCH IM OVER THE MOON!!!!!!!! you're a v talented writer I really like these so so much ///////

I've had a loose idea for hanahaki in relation to clancebearer + rebel red carnations / the yellow petals but I have. No idea what to do about that. Maybe you would have some clue LOL

Petals - Torchbearer!Josh Dun x Reader

Warnings: hanahaki + near death experience 😭

Word Count: 1074 - short and sweet

A/N: I don't write for joshler/clance-bearer but I thought I'd write something similar bc I thought this idea was interesting. I saw your other comment about using the null symbol bc you've liked it before tøp so i'm okay with that being ur anon symbol/emjoi thing. Hopefully you enjoy this and request a few more things :) I also have NO idea who u are btw lol.

I never told anyone. It was too much to admit, even to myself. I thought if I kept ignoring it, it would just go away—that maybe if I swallowed it all down hard enough, I could force it back where it belonged. But emotions, like flowers, have a way of growing in the dark.

And it started with yellow.

It was always yellow with him. That color meant loyalty, protection, rebellion. Every time we stood side by side, I’d see the flash of yellow on his clothes. I wanted to ask him what it all meant, why he wore it with such conviction. But then, what did I know about loyalty?

After all, I couldn’t even stay true to myself.

I’d been with the Torchbearer for so long, following him through every battle, every narrow escape from Dema, through the endless fight to keep the torch burning. I admired him, envied him even. He was always so sure of what he was doing, so steady when everything around us seemed to fall apart.

But somewhere along the way, admiration became something else. Something more painful, more personal. And I knew that if I let it out, it would consume me. So, I buried it. Deep.

The problem was… it didn’t stay buried.

I felt it the first time a petal fluttered from my lips, a strange tickling sensation that I brushed off as dust or something in the air. But the petals kept coming, like little reminders that I was no longer in control. Bright, vibrant yellow petals—his color. Every time I coughed, I found more. I started hiding them, stuffing them into my pockets or crushing them beneath my heel when no one was looking.

I thought I could manage it. After all, I’d managed to keep my feelings hidden from him, hadn’t I?

But it was getting worse. The pressure in my chest was unbearable some days, like something had rooted itself deep inside my lungs and refused to let go. The more I tried to swallow it down, the more it seemed to grow, spreading its roots until even breathing felt like a struggle.

I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t tell anyone.

Then came the day of the hike.

The Torchbearer had suggested it, saying we all needed a break, a moment to step away from Dema’s gray walls and the constant threat of the Bishops. Clancy had agreed, and before I knew it, we were hiking through the woods just outside the city limits. The air was fresh, the sky clear, and for a little while, I thought maybe this could help. Maybe I could breathe.

But I couldn’t.

Each step felt heavier than the last. I could barely keep up, my breaths coming in short gasps. My throat burned, and I could feel the petals pushing up, scratching at the back of my throat, begging to be released.

I stumbled, my vision blurring. The Torchbearer’s voice cut through the haze, calling my name, but it sounded distant, like he was miles away instead of just a few steps ahead.

“Are you okay?” His voice was close now, his hand on my arm, steadying me. I didn’t dare look at him. I didn’t want him to see what was happening.

But it was too late.

The moment I opened my mouth to speak, a cluster of yellow petals spilled out, floating to the ground between us. I froze, my breath catching in my chest as more petals followed—whole flowers now, bright and vivid and wrong. I couldn’t stop it.

The Torchbearer’s eyes widened, his hand tightening around my arm as he crouched in front of me. “What—what is this?”

I choked, trying to push the words out between the petals, but it was useless. My throat was full of them, each one sharper than the last, tearing at me from the inside. Tears stung my eyes as I doubled over, clutching my chest, my hands trembling as more flowers fell.

He didn’t let go. His voice was frantic now, his eyes scanning me, desperate for answers I couldn’t give. “Hey, what’s happening?” He looked at Clancy, who seemed to know exactly what’s going on. 

The truth was as tangled inside me as the flowers themselves. “It’s—” I coughed again, spitting out another petal, my voice raw and strained. 

“It’s Hanahaki disease,” Clancy started, “it happens sometimes in Dema, a–uh, side effect of repressing your feelings–romantic ones.”

The Torchbearer’s brows furrowed in confusion. “I don’t—what does that mean? Why is this happening?”

I squeezed my eyes shut, the weight of it all crushing me. 

“It means… it means she likes you.” The words fell from his lips like a confession, a release. 

The silence that followed was worse than the pain. It was suffocating, like the flowers had stolen the air from my lungs completely. I waited for him to pull away, to let go, to leave me there with my shame and the flowers that were killing me from the inside.

But he didn’t.

Instead, I felt his hand on my face, soft and steady, his thumb brushing away the tears I hadn’t even realized were there. “You—” His voice was thick, like he was trying to process it all at once. “You’re sick because of me?”

I nodded, unable to meet his eyes. 

“It happens when someone loves someone else, but they don’t think it’s mutual. The flowers grow… and eventually, they take over,” Clancy continued. 

There was a pause, and then I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me into his chest. His voice was low, trembling. “You should have told me.”

I shook my head, words unable to escape my mouth.

“You’re not going to lose me,” he whispered, his breath warm against my hair. “You never were.”

I pulled back just enough to see his face, my heart pounding in my chest.

He smiled, a soft, sad smile that made my chest tighten. “I’m saying I love you too.” His thumb brushed over the yellow petal still clinging to my lips. “I’m saying you don’t have to do this alone anymore.”

The flowers stopped. Just like that.

As he held me, I felt the weight in my chest lift, the pressure easing as if his words had reached deep inside me and pulled the roots free. I could breathe again.

And for the first time in a long while, I wasn’t afraid of the yellow.

//

REQUESTS OPEN

[sillyblues]

I loved the fanfic of Ronal x Tonowari and [name], it's so wonderful and incredible that it made me cry. I really loved the new part where [name] meets a Na'vi who loves her. I was thinking about how she met her beloved. I called him Ha'wnu because it means protect/shelter. I like to think that he had a personality similar to Tsireya when he was younger, and [name] was like Lo'ak, feeling lost and very insecure about herself, that's when she met Ha'wnu, the beautiful Metkayina, who was a respected young warrior. I imagined them getting very close while Ronal and Tonowari were together. They went to the same place where Tsireya said "I see you" to Lo'ak, my Eywa, I think Ha'wnu said "I see you [name]". Both [name] and Ha'wnu became great warriors, they became very respected. It's funny to think that when the Sully family came to ask for shelter, they found two Metkayina with lots of tattoos. And also Rotxo being [name]'s son, I see [name] and Ha'wnu talking to Rotxo after what he and his friends did to Lo'ak. I would love to see more [name] with her partner, and the arrival of the Sully family... I love your fanfic.

totw au pt.2

ੈ✩‧₊˚notes: YOOO!! omg i am so happy and glad you love my fic ughh tysm!!😭🫶🏼🫶🏼 also your Ha'wnu?? read and him are so cute together JKSGKSBDFJ

Aight so i never really expanded much on the alternate ending where you ended up with another because technically, it didn’t happen and i intentionally left some descriptions vague so you guys could fill it up with your imaginations on who your partner is and who your children are and im so happy that i got to see one of your visions to this ending!! If u got some more don’t be afraid to hit my inbox up anon or not bc id love to talk and share abt it all with yall!!

Okay so in this ending, i initially thought a gentle and soft mate like the reader, someone who is not a hunter and is by your side most of the time would be good for you and is great about communication and affirms you in all the best ways possible (the opposite of tonowari and ronal initially—). But now that i thought about it more i think a strong hunter, someone who would be Tonowari’s right hand man would suit reader more bc i am weak to gentle and soft reader x strong gruff man pairings yfm? Also its like a loop to the reader’s parents who are a teacher and the Olo’eyktan’s right hand man (maybe the previous olo’eyktan and tsahik loved your mother and had to watch their son suffer from the same pain as they did who knows)

When the sully family came to the Metkayina Clan, your family was assigned to teach them of the ways of your people alongside with the Tonowari’s family considering the one that asked for uturu is Jake Sully, the Toruk Makto. It was absolute hell for them yk because the love they had for you never went away and they were so close to you, skin almost touching, made you laugh a couple of times and sometimes, they like to think that you were mated to them. But that’s all they can do because at the end of the day, you aren’t theirs and they are not yours.

Your mate and Tonowari are quite close so they were fine with teaching Jake with the Tsurak. You and Ronal however… I means, Neytiri disliked Ronal for the harsh words thrown at her family. She doesn’t explicitly shows it but you could tell. You were more kind and understanding of their situation, their discomfort, despite not knowing full of the context why but you didn’t pry. You didn’t force her to tame a Tsurak when she didn’t want to and Neytiri was grateful for you that. When it came to knowing the ways of your people, Neytiri was more silent with Ronal but engaged more with you. You try your hardest to engage them both but sometimes and they appreciate it but sometimes, it just doesn’t work.

Your children, Ao’nung, and Tsireya taught the Sully children and it wasn’t that good but it wasn’t that bad either. Now, Ao’nung is a good child, great child even. He and his sister loves you more than anything and in their heart (Ao'nung would never say this out loud), they call you their second mother because you’re so gentle and kind and caring to them. Tonowari and Ronal loves them truly but they are the Olo’eyktan and Tsahik so they arent by their side all the time and they got expectations of their children. When the Sully family came, their strictness  and expectations got a bit worse since the leaders of the clan were cautious of them. Ao’nung is like the heir to the position of the next Olo’eyktan so the stress is high man. Naturally, he takes it on others. Your children help ground him and call him out and defend the Sully family.

Your children stop him with one mention of your name and Ao’nung just stops.

“What would the Karyu think?” “Sa’nok is going to be disappointed in you, Ao’nung.” “Sa’nu doesn’t like mean boys.”

The Sully children def got curious bc why is this mean little brat quiet and apologizes quickly as you were his mother? So your children introduced them to you and not even a minute in they were like “..ah.”

The Sully family is not stable. The parents were often fighting and the children felt so out of place in your clan. They all felt like they didn’t belong here. But you and your mate was so healthy and loving to the children you basically took them in on days where they didn’t want to be with their parents. 

Your mate is a strong hunter and teaches them how to hunt on his free time and their daddy issues are like “why can’t our dad be like this to us now :(( ”.  You teach Kiri and Tuk as well and they miss their mother who is so deep in her loss of the Omatikaya Clan that they feel like she doesn’t see them anymore. Your children help them all the time and they’re so friendly and nice and the Sully children tells them stories of their people back in the Omatikaya Clan and your children are like, “Wow really?? That’s so cool!! Tell us more!!!” You and your family make them feel like they belong and they love it but they also hurt after spending time with you because they miss the love in your family in their own.

You notice this ofc so you spend time with their parents as well. You listen to their pent up rants, their grief, their suffering, their worries and you were there for them. You give them advice to spend time with their children and to not treat them as warriors 24/7 because before they were warriors and a healer, they were their children first. You lowkey became a family therapist lol.

In conclusion, you a great mama and a teacher. 11/10 they all love u.

series-taglist: (tumblr won't let me tag some blogs so if you changed your username, please lmk!) @totesnothere04 @ducks118 @narutoboi @yeosxxx @fanboyluvr @ladylovegood-69 @northsoulss @thatfictionalwh0re @ghostlyworld @toodaloo432 @lovefromjazzy @greendino7 @neteyamforlife @vermilionzombie @vxncxntt @adaiasafira @tsuteysyawntu @mooniequeen @eywas-heir @arminsgfloll @dev1lm4n @myh3artttt @thehoneymushroomhealer @delightcandlelight @shadowmoonlight0604 @dae-dreamer @buttercup-beeee @ms5m1th @cryingwhilereading @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @manumanulau @ssc7514 @loveofvernonslife @cheolattes @bobaopal @riahpickle-blog

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

OMG i get to talk about khamgalai ive been dying to talk about khamgalai im so fucking mad at khamgalai

i have said stuff about it on this post (sorry im only putting it here cause i started looking for it on my blog and couldnt find it until i went through a post sorter site and i got so upset about it fhdglh so ill have it here just in case i guess) https://www.tumblr.com/tetsuooooooooooo/710065228547866624/anyway-anyone-wanna-hear-about-my-muriel-tired-of?source=share

aaaand liike i started replaying the route recently partially cause i wanted to find anything that would prove me wrong in this matter and i am only halfway through but its Not going GREAT

because it wouldve all been perfectly fine if they didnt choose to establish that she apparently knew the whole time where muriel was and what he was doing. i dont know how much she saw but like. she saw it.

cause this bitch really saw muriel. child muriel. baby. possibly last of her kin. fucking living out on the streets homeless starving getting kicked around god knows what happening to him

and went aw lemme get a snapshot for the family album and just LEFT HIM THERE

AND IM LIKE BITCH I THOUGHT YOU LIKE CARED ABOUT HIM OR SOMETHING I MEAN SHE FOOLED ME WITH ALL THAT CRYING AND THE THINGS SHE SAID WHEN WE MET HER THE FIRST TIME BUT GODDAMN I GUESS SHES JUST AS MUCH OF A "PAIN BUILDS CHARACTER" BOOMER AS MORGA

cause okay even if it was like future visions n shit like thats their magic thing theN LIKE YOU STILL KNOW MORE THAN YOU DID BEFORE YOU KNOW THERES A CITY IN THE NORTH NOW YOU KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE AND WHERE HE CAN BE AND ITS A COUPLE WEEKS AWAY BUT YOURE A FUCKING NOMAD AND NOT THAT OLD YET

like WHAT is the reason she absolutely would not even attempt to come get him other than The Story Needs To Happen this is spiderverse all over again except now im on miles side i hate this hichjgs and like yeah ok the story needs to happen he needs to be the way he is and destiny and whatever but like when were in a story where we know theres a whole 5 other ways to go about solving this problem and its all choice oriented and stuff it kinda just. ya know. it doesnt glass my onions very much vnxviydy i dont know how to put it but u get it

and like

YOU THOUGHT WHAT?? WHAT THE SIGNAL CUT AFTER HE GOT OUT OF THE FUCKING CAGE HE WAS LIVING IN AND YOU COULDNT SEE HIM ANYMORE AND YOU THOUGHT WHAT THAT HE DIED??? girl dont FUCK with me you aint give a shit if he lived or died ok that was harsh im getting really heated this is so messy lol

its probably gonna turn out in a minute that she said something in the ghost realm that makes it make sense but i dont remember that all i recall is us hangin out and her calling me out for being a furry and them being all "u saw me over there and u still like me?" " aw of course i like u come give ghost grandma a hug" thats how i remember that going down fhxhyietfh so yeah ill find out soon enough

Ooh, I think I remember wondering about that when I last played Muriel's route! I'll leave it to other Muriel fans to share their thoughts on it too, since my memory is a bit fuzzy at the moment XD

@tetsuooooooooooo that makes total sense to be upset about though, especially when you're seeing all of this from Muriel's side! T~T I'll be curious to hear what you think as you keep playing the route! ^.^

[raisinchallah]

exceedingly bored with the xena fandoms obsession with love at first sight like ok well whatever then cut out all the interesting stuff :( both in interpretations of the material and of fan works this is also probably why im a tiny bit of a when fates collide hater because idk i dont really think some first spark a lightning bolt from the sky of love is what makes the show the characters or their relationship interesting and again i dont even really think u could consider like season 1 of xena thru that lens like i know some people do but to meeeeee i read the season as like gabrielle is immediately obsessed with xena she looks up to her wants to be like her wants to know everything about her etc but also doesnt truly know her yet she cant actually fully comprehend or accept u know the depths of terrible shit xenas done yet and xena keeps her a bit at arms reach there is very much an imbalance they both love what they see in the other gabrielle sees adventure and a whole world opening up to her with xena and xena sees a grounding element a moral compass someone who is earnest and excited all these things an innocent but again i really do feel like the whole soulmates love at first sight whatever is simply not the building blocks of what makes seasons 1-4 xena and gabrielle work…. like all the biggest emotional revelations are in the face of death and loss you know they each realize the depths of love they feel at the worst possible moment its about the specter of tragedy… like the repeating moments of the greater good xena near death huge moment for gabrielle and how much more open and emotional they are with each other and gabrielles pain anyways not that anyone cares but i think thats when gabrielle realized she loved xena and for xena who i thinks been trying to keep things at arms length the double whammy of is there a doctor in the house and return of callisto and then gabrielle gets the quest sorry if u think theres love at first sight check for rattlesnakes and again whats so interesting is not like oh they have a vision of how theyre meant to be together or sense something its that sometimes they realize you know this might destroy them gabrielle might actually give up on things she believes in this might lead to horrible things but they wont be apart and to keep choosing each other after all sorts of earth shattering things idk interesting and again to me more interesting without the idea they are meant to be together or just knew from the moment they saw each other like gabrielles someone always searching for answers for clarity and she must at some point jump off unmoored into the unknown and do things she doesnt know if she can live with because this is what shes chosen and i think thats fascinating…

[jaegersmoon]

could u PLEASEE share some writing tips? 😭😭😭😭 im super bad with words, even if it comes from the heart. ur writing is so.. indescribable in the bestest way possible and the way u just UGHHH it’s too good i can’t word it!!!!!! the way u describe the scenes and the emotions is so beautiful and i really really want to know how ur so good with words and all, ur the best ily aim 🙍‍♀️

thank you so much ur so kind 🤍 love you the most

the best advice i can give you is to just keep writing even if you feel like it’s bad. no writer is going to like their work 100% of the time and if they say they do they are most likely lying 😭 getting frustrated is not uncommon but it’s so important to keep pushing so you can learn who you are as a writer.

reading is also a very good source of practice because you are able to assess the way people’s words flow, how they world build , describe etc.

for me , i’m a writer that can completely see what i’m writing , it like plays out as a movie in my head so i just describe what i visualize. having that ability heavily benefits me. i know that not everyone can do that and im not sure if that’s something your mind allows.

if not, i suggest making pinterest boards based on the idea you have. save pictures that fit you vision. it can also help inspire other ones. it’s like free world building that you can refer back to when you’re trying to visualize or describe something. i did this a lot for oakcrest village.

also try to completely emerge yourself into the scene you’re working on. take whatever that moment is, happy, sad, anxiety-driven etc, and try to feel what your characters are feelings.

if you were in the position of that character how would it feel? are there harsh blades of anger slicing at your veins? is there pain in your heart that is heavy enough to make it crack? is your head spinning with confusion, etc.

like for sadness instead of saying “she felt sad.” you could flush it out a bit more and say something like, “she faltered. her lungs filling up with glass, making all the words she wanted to say drop dead in your burning throat.”

study synonms !!! learning different words to use to describe something will widen your little brain dictionary and it will become easier to describe things and feel less repetitive.

writing can be frustrating especially when words won’t come to you or agree with you in the way you want. i struggle with it often too. it’s important to keep going so that way you can get better and better with each success and each failure.

writing is a huge learning process , and the best way to learn is to do it, even with its hard AS LONG AS YOU ARE STILL ENJOYING IT.

i really wish i had more tips but it’s hard bc its nothing that i have any form of training in yk i just picked it up one day bc i was bored and very depressed and needed an outlet. im still learning as i go to. <3

wishing you the best in writing and remember to be kind to yourself a writer.

[twistedastrology]

🪐 my take on the outer planets 🪐

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saturn is constantly given a bad rap just because it does its job- saturn's placement in your chart isn't always a bad thing- it can signify difficulties in that area of your life, yes, but it can also tell you what you have unwavering resolve in (especially if you're saturn ruled or saturn is positively aspected)

for example, my saturn is in my 1st house in leo (cancer rising) and I've seen people say that saturn in the 1st house can indicate a fear of growing old or being lonely, whatever- my personal experience with this placement is, ask anyone that knows me and they will tell you i am fucking petrified of losing myself- losing my mind, losing who i am and dying early are my worst fears (dreams in which im dying are NOT the best ive ever had 😮‍💨)

but as a result of this, i know myself SO well. i do think saturn in the 1st house can indicate issues with finding yourself IF it's afflicted, which mine isn't (thank god 💔💔💔)

im also very scared of growing out of touch with the world around me- dont get me wrong, i love being a hermit, but if im ever that old man that can't understand trends or whatever and is overly cynical of younger generations... dawg- take me the fuck out 😕

uranus i LOOOOVEEEEE and i think it stands for so much more than just rebellion- my uranus has a LOT of power in my chart (so does my neptune but they're in mutual reception 😮‍💨) because my moon is cusped (1° pisces, but i feel both pisces and aquarius influence 💔), and it and my mercury im pretty sure are why i think backwards as fuck- (fun fact, my mercury is FIRMLY direct but it likes to act like it's in retrograde 💔💔💔💔)

but!! more interestingly, i have a very specific mental process where whenever im goin thru it, i cant stay goin thru it for a while- if my brain is fucked up for a little too long and i start getting pissed about it, my uranus takes over and legitimately propels me through the pain in almost an instant. i could be going through something for weeks and once i start getting pissed about it or legitimately bored of it, the next day it's like nothing ever happened BUT i still learned from it

ofc I have to do something to trigger that effect, which is where my mars in cancer comes in and i do a workout to tap into the physical catharsis and BOOM, go to bed and wake up the next day a new man 🙏🙏🙏 god bless 🙏🙏🙏

neptune Ok i am not entirely sure what made whoever said neptune is the higher octave of venus think that but I've never been able to see it. this might be controversial as hell but neptune is the higher octave of the moon to me and jupiter is the higher octave of venus. THAT BEING SAID-

neptune is an absolutely fascinating planet to me lately and im not sure why- i do have a couple transit aspects with it right now but ive wanted to write about it literally all day now- U KNOW i might love it so much bc it's in my 8th house actually that would make sense- ANYWAY-

neptune to me is the source of all the visions from god i get, especially my creative ones- (source: it came to me in a vision from god.) the moon is a very creative placement in my opinion (i have a WILDLY different idea of the moon that i can go over in another post), so neptune follows a similar current, but neptune is higher creativity, higher emotion, etc- it's the planet of spirituality and the absolute depths of our subconscious, like to the point of past lives, that's the kinda shit neptune fucks with

but because it's also the higher octave of the moon, to me it can absolutely represent addictions and vices, everything garbage- personally, my neptune isn't very afflicted at all but i also have a major lack of earth in my chart so i Do find myself experiencing classic neptune-based paranoia sometimes- fuck dude i went neurotic for a week at one point, that was some serious neptune delusion- But my uranus/saturn pulled me back from it, because like i said, saturn makes me petrified of losing myself, so those two joined forces like "ya this shit ain't cool actually take it out back and shoot it"

i might make a post on specifically neptune stuff soon and/or right after this bc the hyperfixation is hyperfixating 💔💔

pluto i FUCK with because it's such a soul searchy planet (my 8th house is very active so ofc i fuck with pluto) in the darkest ways and i love that shit- jonathan davis has his pluto in a fucking mastery degree (29° virgo) and i am to this day like 😦 over it- and it makes SO much sense for him to have PLUTO of all planets in a mastery degree- and i have mine in 26° sag so like im not that far behind... 💔

but dude that's mastery of some SERIOUS transformative powers- that's mastery of the wildly darker shit in life and that is so fucking tight to me- i value that kinda stuff more than anything dude- probably why korn is my fav band (been listening to them as i write this 😭😭)

one thing abt pluto that i DONT agree with tho, and this is more of a scorpio thing BUT i know everyone loves to say scorpios are the sexy signs but dawg... it's cancers... i swear 2 god it's cancers- i will write an entire fucking post on cancers and why i HATE everyone's interpretations of them bc everyone's like "cnanncers are cRYBbaueiis and tHyeyre the most emOtIknal siGnsns 💔💔💔" Bro. Bro. Bro dont do me like that for the love of god. that shit made me hate my rising sign for SO long and also not relate to it!!!! then i started doin my own research and found out "Oh fuck nvm im totally a cancer"

BUT if you look at pluto like the actual God- nowhere in his mythology (that I read anyway- i could be wrong i dont wanna act like i know everything) does it say anything abt him ruling over sex or sumn like that- but everyone says pluto rules over sex!!!!!! Where!!!!!!!!!!! dawg they said he was a god of abundance bc he ruled over the underworld and gems and stuff were found underground 😭😭😭

i do think pluto fucks with taboo shit though But back in the ye olden days when astrology was being developed, sex was not taboo at all, that's a new development that i think uranus fucks with more because uranus is a very future focused planet in my humble opinion

i could definitely keep writing but i think this is already a novel SO- to specify tho, this is all my opinion of the planets, ive read PLEEEEEENTY of books and stuff so by no means do i not know how this shit works, but my uranus makes me rip everything apart and make my own take so 💔

[takami-takami]

IM HERE TO ADD MORE OF MEANIE! HAWKS BC UR POST MADE ME GO FERAL

He kisses your tears away but he loves seeing you cry softly. If you back talk him...he looks down at u with darkened eyes before looking at his watch

"you have 30 seconds. Hide."

And you do because you know whats coming. He even narrates what he's going to do while he gets closer to you, in a chilling and casual voice.

"Hm, i don't know what would be better? Have you fuck my cock and then not let you come all week? Edge you until you lose your mind? But then, having you cum over and over again is always a favourite of mine."

Your heart rate would increase because you know he was getting closer, him purposefully making his boots stomp loudly just so you could feel him coming.

"Would you enjoy my hand on your ass too much for it to be a punishment? Baby always loved being spanked a bit too much, pain slut."

He'd know where you are from the start but he'd still open random cupboards, whistling in between.

And when he'd find you, he'd have the predatory smile as he pulls you out from wherever you are....hand around your throat.

"I think all of them would be the best option, yes?"

You can apologise over and over again and all he would say is:

"youre sorry? :( it's not enough, little one

:( just take what I give you."

"Ask sir to spit in your mouth. Go on, ask me to ruin your pretty face"

"that's it, fucking thank me for letting you feel my cock. Thank me for letting you cum. Brats like you don't even deserve that."

Normally I would add onto asks and say something, but my vision is blurry from reading this.

[talon-dragonbeast]

random veryyyy specific weird question but. IF u have vision in both eyes and u use both to see… can u describe it to me?? lol. my experience is that I see thru one eye and the other eye is just used as poor peripheral vision. if I close bad eye.. the forward image I’m seeing does not change at all… but some of my side view goes away. do u not have one eye that’s just peripheral vision? is normal vision more like both are seeing forward? is it not supposed to b like this? how does that even feel

i cant really explain how i see with both eyes, mainly because i dont have anything to compare with? both my eyes work exactly the same, so i dont have one eye that *only* works for peripheral vision like you describe. if i close my left eye i lose my entire left field of vision (and viceversa). if i could only see through one eye, not only i would have a pretty reduced field of vision but i would lose my depth perception as well.

^^ this is what a normal field of vision looks like for a human. if you put a hand next to your head and move it slowly backwards, at what point do you lose sight of it without moving your eyes? it should be the same for both eyes.

last week i was at the uni veterinary hospital for an ophthalmology practice, so i saw plenty of patients that had issues with their eyes. one of them was a yorkie that had cataracts in one of her eyes, so she couldnt see very well through it. the doctor that was with us said that patients with only one working eye werent usually a great concern cause they could still see quite normally. they would have to live with a blind spot, of course, but their quality of life wouldnt be impacted a whole lot.

with this i want to say that there isnt much difference between what you are describing and what 'normal' vision looks like. i would still get it checked if you start experiencing other symptoms (such as nausea, loss of balance, pain, heat, changes in coloration etc), but if it has been like that your whole life i wouldnt be too concerned. im not an expert tho! always consult a medical professional if you feel like something is wrong

[7cakerolls]

ctto 4 the gif !

i want to know you. human! neteyam x reader (highschool AU)

the eyes that could look only at you. (chapter five- finale)

aah thank u all for ur love and support on the series!! please leave ideas on what to write next :-)))

previous chapter…

you shut the door in his face, knowing the last thing you needed was to see the face of the guy you had once admired more than anyone in the world, and the one who single-handedly shattered your expectations for love with one action. you pressed your back to the door, hoping he would just leave it alone and you could forget about this whole thing.

“(yn), i know you are in there. you cannot ignore me forever! it was a misunderstanding, she pushed herself on me. i do not want her, i could only want you. you have to believe me…” he sounded genuine about it, but your trust in him had been slaughtered. how could you even look at him, when that face you once loved had been all over the face of another?

“i…i ran after you immediately. she means nothing to me. do you not know how much i adore you? please… speak with me eventually. i’ll wait for you.” he said sadly. you could hear the pain and grief in his voice. as he just began to walk away, you meekly opened the door. “do you mean it?” you asked. he turned around and looked you directly in your eyes, his vision focusing solely on you.

“i only have eyes for you, i promise.” he walked up to your doorstep, looking at you with love and affection. he reached out to hold your hand, gently, and you accepted, even if you were scared. somehow being im his embrace meant you felt no longer fearful of what the future held in love. holding his hand made you realize that you were safe, and that everything would be alright. you felt at peace for once, being with the boy you had grown to adore more as the days went on.

——timeskip to a couple years forward——

you all had grown up so well, with you and neteyam becoming inseparable. you had become the best of friends and best of lovers, as you knew everything about him from his favorite color, to the birthmark on his left calf. as did he for you. you all had shared so many moments and so many memories, from dearly intimate ones to loss and grief together.

but today was the day you would part for a while, until the day you would come to reunite. neteyam was graduating, and you were a year behind. this hurt you, to see him walking across that stage without him, as he progressed on to his next stage of life. but you knew everything would be alright. you would come join him at college in the spring, bringing back the dynamic duo.

“my love, i have accomplished many things during my time with you.” he spoke softly as he gently held your hand and looked in your eyes. “me too, ‘teyam… i’ll miss you a lot.” you were tearing up, and he hated when you were sad, so he went to wipe them from your eyes that were growing red and puffy. “but do you know what my greatest accomplishment is?” he asked you sweetly, staring into your eyes with nothing but love.

“it was getting to know you.” he said, and this time, you knew that everything would be okay in this moment, and for the ones that would follow.

this wasn’t goodbye, and you were sure of that. no more maybe.

**end**

thank you for reading!!

[lesbiannancytruther]

new au time new au time

ronance magical creatures au inspired by my own personal dark ages (klance fan era) but they’re both so fire coded its insane!!!

anyone that tries to argue against fire coded robin with me will lose fr

okay imagine… fire nymph nancy… DRAGON ROBIN….

fire nymph nancy who’s so passionate and powerful and literally fiery who’s wicked with a crossbow… nancy with pointed ears and dark red lipstick and like a leather corset thing R U SEEING THE VISION??

dragon robin who is… strong… and looks so imposing when In Reality she's only not chill like 25% of the time

i'll do another post that describes their meeting but for now i feel like i need to provide The Vision

-robin is taller and stronger and awesomer. she's got the full package, horns, wings, tail, freaky eyes, claws, some scales in some places. im thinking they're a mix of red and gold

-nancy is the same height (haha short) with pointy ears, blue eyes that glow red and orange and yellow when she uses her powers/is upset, unnaturally red veins (that ALSO glow when she does crazy shit) and hidden wings that are translucent red and gold and tipped with fire

-hidden because a nymph's wings, in my mind, are CRAZY vulnerable, easy to damage and incredibly painful when damaged, but they aid a lot in combat and transport. only shown to people that nymph's trust. (like 2 people have seen nancy's wings not including her family lol)

-nancy is a total badass with either a full sized cross bow or 2 hand ones that are smaller and strap to her wrists in the guards she wear and spring out when she needs them. she hunts magic poachers for sport and exposes crime rings (she struggles to get people to listen to her but. she's literally ALWAYS right.)

-robin is curious and unemployed. she explores!! mainly on her own until she meets steve (sea nymph) on one of her travels, who is also eager to explore. they get into all sorts of trouble seeing new things and stumble into nancy entirely on accident

-upon first impression it's "omg she's so pretty she's literally on fire rn" and "why is this total dork JACKED??"

-they end up sticking together "for convenience" (they want to kiss with tongue)

i will elaborate on this further if y'all want me to ok lol bye