#do that until im certain im not allergic. but how can i check?

[mobtism]

soooooo severely depressing having so many allergies. urggh

[wonwoonlight]

stars | kwon soonyoung

➝ Soonyoung x Reader

➝ feat. Jihoon, Wonwoo, Jeonghan, and Somi

➝ word count: 5438 words.

➝ angst // fluff on the first half :) // nonidol!au // fantasy!au (kinda, but not really, you’ll know)

➝ warning: major character death!!!!!!!!!!, mentions of accident, terminal illness? but i didnt go into details bc i dont wanna be misleading, an unbelievably coddling brother,.......cliche????, the seal idea is from the fate series’s command seal, if you know about it heheheh, this is a very fair warning but I SUCK SO MUCH AT ANGSTTT

➝ song: EXO - Baby Don’t Cry (please please please do listen to this and see the lyrics and you’ll know why the angst part is somewhat based on this song to certain point) ((plus its a really good song lol))

➝ A/N: this is for @noisytigercandy​​ who asked for a hoshi/wonwoo/woozi heavy angst so i chose hoshi bc i havent written a long one for him! bc your request was simply “to make it as angsty as possible” i went down this route because i totally suck at angst and idk how to make it heavy T-T hopefully, this checks out with what you want. also, this is the first time i cry writing something and its such an experience lol im just too weak hearted for my own good, so it might not actually be as sad. also, sorry if there r a lot of grammatical mistakes bc I Can’t  read this again without crying lol. anyway!!!!!! enjoy!! your feedback would be much appreciated mwah

When you smile, sun shines

언어란 틀엔 채 못 담을 ���란 The kind of brilliance that words can’t express

Everyone is born with a seal on their body, all with different images in the form of one single tattoo.

You’re still not sure what’s the image supposed to represent; some people have their seals related closely with what turns to be something they love most as they grow older. Your brother, Jihoon, has a string of bars with notes decorating them going around his lower arm, ending on his pinky. A very beautiful tattoo that fits someone who loves music with his entire life.

Some people are just entirely something else; a vine of grapes on one’s arm, a fancy cross on top of one’s hand despite their belief, a string of flower going around one shoulder to the other on someone who’s allergic to pollen. Maybe fate likes to play irony at times.

You have a string of stars that goes through both of your wrists, which is a bit weird; because you’ve heard no one should have their seal broken into two the way yours is. The seal should be on one place as a whole, not in pieces.

The moment you’re born, the sight of your seal on both of your wrists quickly brought worry to your parents.

The seal is a gift for humanity. It is said that you can ask for three wishes; every wish fades a part of your seal. Using up three wishes means having your seal entirely faded, the tattoo gone as if it’s never there to begin with.

Having your seal completely faded means ending your life.

Maybe it’s a price everyone has to pay for the generous wish. The last part of their tattoos and the remains of the first two reminding them the good things the wish has brought and, at the same time, reminding them not to get too comfortable and greedy.

The wish works in a mysterious way, subtle yet obvious. No one is supposed to understand how it works, you conclude.

It scares your family; not knowing why your seal is that way. Would you be able to use your wish? Does it mean you only have two wishes (technically one) because the tattoo is clearly divided into two?

It doesn’t help that you turn to be a rather weak child, going back and forth to the hospital even up until now. Your heart is weak, the doctors have said, it’d be the better choice for you not to be too active so your heart won’t act up.

Both of your parents have used their second wishes on two different surgeries you went through a few years ago; ones in which the doctors seemed more tense as if knowing the successful rate was somewhat low.

When you’re old enough to learn about this, you make Jihoon promise never to use his wish on you; your parents’ are enough. Jihoon has been conflicted, but reluctantly agrees because he knows it’ll only make you feel worse about yourself.

In short, your parents dote and protect you so much that you’ve become very quiet and closed up; homeschooled for all of your school years as you currently attend a cyber university. You’re much better now, your visit to the hospital isn’t as often. But your parents are used to being protective of you and you’re grateful though it’s too much at times.

Your parents allow you to go out as long as you tell them where you’ll be going to, but having minimal friends mean you don’t have a lot of chances to go out often. Either you wait for them to be free, go out with Jihoon, or you go for a walk by yourself.

Your friends simply consist of those that are Jihoon’s friends, often coming around to play in his small studio in your house. A guy named Wonwoo, another called Jeonghan, and a girl called Somi.

Lazily laying around on the sofa, you stare up at your seal, putting your wrists together to see the stars decorating them when Jihoon suddenly appears on top of you. “You okay?”

“Yupp,” you sit up, turning to him. “Just one of those days. Are you working on a new song again?”

Jihoon sits beside you, ruffling your hair as he does so. For someone who hates physical touch, you’re the only person he openly coddles and throws his affections at.

“Yeah, the beat is done, and I have an idea about the melody. We probably will mostly work on the lyrics today,” he says as you settle on his shoulder. Jihoon has been your pillar, if anything, and you’re glad your brother is as reliable as he is.

“Ohhh, are Wonwoo and Jeonghan coming? What about Somi?” you say excitedly, missing your friends. It’s been a week since you last see them, all three busy with their own stuffs though Somi calls you every night.

Your brother shakes his head, looking at his phone. “It’s another close friend of ours. I told you about some of my other friends, right?”

“Umm… the guy with the English name and tiger boy?”

Jihoon cringes a little, making you laugh. “The latter. I shouldn’t have told you about that.”

“Why!” you giggle, lifting your head. “He sounds like a funny guy; I’d like to meet him!”

“You won’t be wishing the same once you see him,” he shakes his head again, making a face.

“But you must like him enough if you let him come here,” you grin at him, excited at the thought of meeting someone new.

The little smile that grows on his face isn’t missed by you, but the opportunity to tease him is gone when the door bell rings. Jihoon sits up, and you follow him like a puppy, hiding behind his figure despite the small difference between your heights.

When Jihoon opens the door, you peek a little from the back. You’ve never seen this guy, but his presence is so bright and warm that you can’t help but smile without meaning to. He greets your brother with a very loud ‘Yo! Woozzzzi!’, which makes you chuckle a little before stopping yourself as the stranger’s eyes travel to you.

“Oh? Who’s this?” He asks, tilting his body a little so he can see you clearly as you hide yourself some more.

“My sister. Don’t do anything funny,” he warns, bopping the taller guy in the head to get his face away from yours.

“Hi!” he grins, and you start to wonder if he ever not smile. “I’m Soonyoung! I didn’t know Jihoon has a sister?”

You smile back hesitantly, stepping to the side to take his hand as you introduce yourself to him. “Hello, I’ve heard about you from Jihoon.”

Soonyoung cocks his head to the side, a teasing grin on his face. “You actually talk about me?”

“Yes, because you’re weird and people tend to mention weird things they encounter to other people around them,” Jihoon simply says, closing the front door as he makes his way to the studio with Soonyoung in tow.

As you listen to his laugh chiming through the house, you can’t help but think it’s the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard in your life.

“Soonyoung, can I ask you something?” you ask, swinging yourself on the swing.

You’ve known Soonyoung for a few months now. An unlikely friendship has grown between the two of you since the moment he steps inside your house to work on his music with your brother.

Jihoon has been reluctant to let you befriend him at first, afraid Soonyoung’s much too active and outgoing nature would be too overwhelming for you. But when he sees how much you laugh and enjoy your time with him, Jihoon doesn’t have it in him to stop you from befriending the guy.

You spend a lot of time with him now, sometimes just a little trip to the park, sometimes he brings you to the arcade so you can play some game together and watch him jump around on the Pump machine. He’s a little clumsy on the game, but something tells you his body movement is anything but.

“Shoot,” he replies, trying to swing himself higher.

“What’s your tattoo?”

He stops the swing, his feet digging through the ground as he hums to himself.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to answer, I’m just curious,” you tell him, a bit worried that you’ve somehow offended him.

The sound of your soft gasp can be heard through silent park as Soonyoung tugs the collar of his shirt down a little, showing you a spider web with both sides of its string already fading away. Did he use both of his wishes already?

“Cool, right?” he grins, his eyes turning into crescents. “A shame it’s not a tiger, but spiderwebs are cool enough, I guess.”

You stare at him, a strange feeling bubbling up on your chest before you nod and smile back at him. “Yeah, really cool.”

“You’re curious, are you?” he asks, starting to swing again, though this time slowly. The length of his legs doesn’t really allow him to do so, so his legs are bent a little as he tries to swing little by little.

“Hm?”

“About why did I use up my wishes already at this age,” he chuckles, the air around him is heavy. Probably the heaviest you’ve ever seen of him though that might be intensified due to his constant smile and laugh, his cheerful personality that shines above all.

“A little,” you honestly answer. “But you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

The sound of Soonyoung stopping and standing up makes you stop, too. He doesn’t say anything, simply dusks off his pants as he offers his hand to you with a smile.

You take his hand, thanking him as you stand up. When you try to let go, Soonyoung just tugs you with him, walking with you in tow. You don’t even ask where he’s taking you. Everywhere is fine as long as you’re with him.

It’s been a while since you’ve stopped denying your feeling for the guy. Soonyoung doesn’t need to know that, though. You’re completely fine letting your feeling grow for him like this, you don’t wish for a budding romance when you can’t even take care of your own self. It’d be selfish to ask for someone to take care of you.

“One of them I used by accident,” he starts, his thumb caressing your knuckles, making blood rush to your cheeks. You know what it feels like when your heart runs a little to fast, but never for this reason. Never because of someone else.

“My cousin’s dog died and she’s crying so much when it happened. I was sad but seeing her cry made me cry, too. She was so small, the dog much older than she was. So, I used my wish to get her a new dog that looks more or less the same with the old one,” he smiles, looking down at the pavement.

“The next day, she’s got another puppy from auntie’s friend. She said their dog just gave birth and she couldn’t take care of them all. The dog looks nearly identical with the old one, so auntie took it with her immediately.”

Your hold on his hand tightens, and Soonyoung squeezes your hand back. “She must’ve been very happy.”

“Yeah, the dog still lives now, almost 20 years later. So, it’s not a waste of wish, really,” he grins again, meeting your eyes as you look up to him.

“The second time, I used it for a dear friend.” The smile on his face seems content, as if he’s glad he did so. “He’s younger than me. A guy named Chan that I met from a dance club in high school. He wanted to be a dancer, that’s what he told me the moment he stepped in the club room. And I know he could do it; he’s more determined than anyone I’ve ever known and he’s got the talent.”

Soonyoung finds a bench beneath the tree and pulls you there to sit with him. It’s spring now, the trees along the street are blooming a pretty color of white and pink. Cherry blossom petals decorating the pavement as the wind blows a fine breeze every now and then.

He doesn’t let go of your hand even when the both of you take a seat there.

You let him be.

“What happened next?” you ask, wanting to hear the rest of the story.

“We became close real quick, and he’s basically a little brother to me even now. On his first year of university, he got into a car accident,” he frowns, the memory fresh in his mind. “It was pretty bad. His legs were beat up and even after therapies the doctor said it’d be hard to get back to dancing again with his condition.”

Your heart breaks at the story, you can only imagine how hard it is when your dream is taken away right in front of your eyes.

“He was so devastated, to the point where he wasn’t himself for a few months. I asked around, looking things up in the internet that might help him. An older cousin who’s studying to be a doctor outside the country says there might be a way to help, but it might cost a lot because the procedure is available only on where he’s at. I told Chan about it, but he said he couldn’t make his parents pay for it just because of his dream; that he’ll be fine doing other works even if he has to part ways with the thing he loves most.”

“Did you wish for his recovery? Can it work that way?” you ask, still intrigued with the wish. You haven’t used your wish at all, your parents warning you it might not be the best thing to do with your anomaly.

“Of course not,” he shakes his head. “It’s not that easy. But I wish for Chan to get another chance of recovery. About a month after that, my cousin said a professor wants to sponsor Chan’s surgery as long as Chan is fine with flying there, and there’s a chance his legs won’t 100% get better. It didn’t, but it’s much better than the prior condition. He’s a dance teacher for little kids now, but he’s learning to be a choreographer, too, and he seems more than happy with that.”

You stare at Soonyoung, someone with a heart so beautiful that he uses his limited gift to help others. There’s nothing bitter in his tone, too, he’s content and happy with his choices. You asked him if he never thinks of using his wishes on himself before, and Soonyoung simply hums as he thinks to himself.

“Maybe? I don’t know. Anyhow, there must be a time before us when humans don’t have these wishes, right? I’m sure if they could be fine without them, I could be, too. I’m glad I used mine to help instead of something ordinary like a job or something,” he flashes you that beautiful grin again, and how can you not smile back at him when he’s looking as he is?

You ponder about his words, glancing at your broken tattoos before smiling to yourself. He’s right, there must be a time when humans don’t even have wishes to help them through their roughest time. If they went through it just fine, why couldn’t you?

Falling in love with Kwon Soonyoung just might be the best thing you could ever wish happening to your life.

“What’s your biggest wish?” Soonyoung asks, one of his arms under your neck and the other on your waist as the both of you lay facing each other on your bed. Your parents are out of town, but Jihoon would have his head if he finds out. On the other hand, if there’s anything you’ve learned from Soonyoung, sometimes it’s okay to live on edge and you figure it’s a problem for when it happens.

“Campfire? Just spending some time out with my friends outside, singing songs under the night sky,” you tell him, your finger waves through his newly dyed hair. “Wait, you’re not gonna wish for that, will you?”

Soonyoung laughs, dropping a kiss on your forehead. How did your relationship even progress to this point? You’re not gonna think too much about it. “Of course not, silly. I can just arrange one for you, I’m not gonna die so you can have a campfire.”

“Don’t joke around about something like that!” you hit his shoulder softly, not amused with his joke. “Plus, Jihoon would never allow you to arrange a trip like that for me.”

Soonyoung rises his eyebrow, his mouth forming a pout out of habit. “Are you challenging me?”

You just laugh, the thought of going for a campfire trip is happy enough for you. There’s no need to actually go on one, you’re glad you have him by your side, anyway.

When Jihoon goes inside your room to ask what would you like to have for dinner, he finds you and his friend asleep, cuddled together on top of your blanket. He doesn’t have the heart to wake you up when you’re tucked safely in Soonyoung’s arms, your hand gripping the back of his shirt as if afraid someone would try to make you let go.

He couldn’t say he didn’t see it coming, either.

A month or so later, you’re on your way to a camping site with a camping car your parents help you rent with Jihoon, Soonyoung, Wonwoo, and Somi. Jeonghan can’t come, but he makes all of you promise there’d be a next trip with him.

“You better be glad I didn’t make you bet on it at that time,” he nudges you with his shoulder.

You laugh, nodding to his words to indulge him. “Yeah, yeah. But my parents wouldn’t have said yes if it wasn’t for Jihoon coming with us.”

“What, you two were planning on camping by yourselves?” Jihoon joins in from his seat, glaring at the guy. “You think I would allow you?”

Soonyoung lets out a laugh, his hands up in surrender. “It just came up before and she said I wouldn’t be able to arrange a campfire for her because of you.”

“She’s right,” Jihoon nods, as if it wasn’t Soonyoung that suggested this trip, convincing him over and over again it’s what you want. That a camping doesn’t have to be hard work and you’ll be okay because the rest can set up the tent for you.

The other guy just shrugs, and you giggle at the banter. Jihoon wouldn’t admit it out loud, but you’ve been much happier and brighter because of Soonyoung and your blooming relationship. He’s glad, of all people, it’s Soonyoung who’s making you happy.

“Are you that excited?” he asks, amused at the way your feet have been jumping up and down.

“She can’t even sleep last night,” Jihoon answers for you, shaking his head though there’s a smile playing on his face. “She ends up sleeping on my bed as I plastered myself to the wall because she keeps on moving around.”

Soonyoung chuckles, ruffling your hair. “She’s practically an octopus when she sleeps, right?”

Jihoon narrows his eyes at his friend, making Wonwoo and Somi laugh from the front seat. “You’re getting too comfortable, aren’t you? I don’t think that’s an info I should know that you’re aware of, is it?”

“We’re just napping together, there’s nothing wrong with that,” Soonyoung says brazenly, laughing again when you hit his shoulder. “What! He already knows, anyway.”

You just hide your face in your palms in embarrassment. For once, the quickening rate of your heartbeat doesn’t bother you even a little bit.

Hearing Somi’s soft breathing next you, you wave your hand in front of her face to make sure she’s really asleep.

It’s been a really good day even though you’re a bit tired throughout, having slept late the night before and not used to this kind of activity. The whole of you retreating to the two tents when it’s a little past midnight, Wonwoo whining that he needs his sleep because he drove the whole way there.

It was a bit of a shame, because you don’t know when will you be able to get another chance to go on a camping like this ever again. But you get that everyone is tired; even you’re tired, but you can’t sleep even after laying there for what feels like hours.

You wake up slowly, trying to make as little sound as you can as not to wake Somi up. It’s almost 2AM now, so you put on your jacket to go out, maybe spending a little more time under the stars would help.

Stepping outside, you can see quite a few people in front of their tents, too. Maybe sleep hasn’t come, maybe they just want to go stargazing. You sit on the chair from earlier near the campfire, looking up at the sky as you put on your airbuds, listening to some music to keep yourself company.

You jump a little when two hands softly hold your shoulders, glaring at Soonyoung who’s standing behind you with an unapologetic grin.

“Why are you out here?” he asks, placing another chair next to you. “Can’t sleep?”

“Yeah. Adrenaline rush, maybe? It’s been such a good day, I don’t want it to end,” you say, leaning to Soonyoung as he extends his arm to you.

“I’m glad you’re having fun,” he says softly, his head on top of yours as his free hand goes to rub the seal inside your wrist. “It’s worth constantly annoying Jihoon for weeks.”

You laugh, thanking him again for making this possible. “I don’t think I can ever thank you enough for this.”

“You know I’d do anything for you, right?” he says again, lifting his head to look at your eyes.

“You know I’d do the same for you, right?” you tell him without missing a beat, looking back at him.

“You don’t have to do anything for me. I’ll be fine as long as you’re here with me,” he says, winking at his cheesy comment.

Your burst into a fit of giggle, looking back up at the sky full of stars as you cuddle further to Soonyoung’s warmth.

“The stars are so beautiful tonight,” you tell him, remembering how much you’ve wished to experience this firsthand, not just though fictions. “I feel like they’re brighter today.”

“Brighter than me?” he giggles a little at his own question.

As you look up at him to see his eyes turning into beautiful crescents with a big smile glittering his face, you think there could possibly be nothing that shines brighter than Kwon Soonyoung.

It’s getting worse.

You don’t know what causes it, but your heart is getting worse again for some reason. The doctor even mentions you might need to do another surgery if it doesn’t get better by the next appointment.

Soonyoung is unfortunately outside the city when you receive the news because there’s a family wedding he needs to attend. But as you cry the whole night, telling him you’re scared through the phone, Soonyoung doesn’t hang up until he hears the soft pattern of your breathing.

He stays in the phone for a few minutes after that, making sure you’re really asleep before he hangs up, finally letting out the tears he’s been holding back.

It’s not fair. It’s not fair at all that a soul as beautiful as yours have to battle through something like this when you’ve done nothing to deserve it at all.

Soonyoung unconsciously traces his seal near his neck, staring into space as the trace of his tears start to dry. He doesn’t know what it feels like to have his heart in a weak state, but when he thinks of you suffering through all this, he can feel his heart tightening on his chest.

That must be how you feel but much worse. He hates it so much.

“Has the doctor told you when the surgery would be?” Soonyoung asks, once again laying in your bed, his thumb caressing the apple of your cheek as if it’s the most fragile thing in the world. Your parents and Jihoon have let the two of you be, now already trusting Soonyoung wouldn’t do anything they’d frown upon.

“Next week.” you sigh, the thought of surgery still scaring you despite it not being your first time. “I don’t know why, but I’m more scared of this surgery than the ones I’ve gone through before.”

Soonyoung looks at you before slowly moving forward to drop a kiss on your forehead. “It’s going to be okay. You’ve survived the ones before, haven’t you? You will again. There’s no reason you will lose a battle when you’ve been fighting restlessly.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” You nod a little, your head dropping to where his seal is hidden by his shirt. “I’ll be fine. It’ll pass just like my past surgeries and I’ll get better again.”

Soonyoung just hugs you tight, hoping you don’t notice his trembling lips and the tears he’s been holding.

It’s definitely not a complaint from your side, but Soonyoung has been making sure he’s spending all of his free time with you everyday leading up to the surgery. You’ve gone to the arcade again with him, a short trip to a flower field, and a simple picnic near the Han river. Sometimes Jihoon would tag along, sometimes he wouldn’t.

You get an idea of why Soonyoung is doing all of this; he’s never been there when you’re going through a surgery. The both of you say you’ll be okay, but the truth is, you don’t know. The thought of surgery is always scary, but it gets ten-fold scarier when it’s something as vital as a heart.

There’s a silent understanding in your mind: there’s a chance you might not survive this surgery and you won’t be able to spend time with Soonyoung again. Whatever it is, you’re going to accept these few days with a happy heart, and if it is the last few days you have left, you’re glad you’re spending it with the love of your life.

On the day before the surgery, you have carefully asked your parents if Soonyoung can sleep over, telling them his presence calms you down. They, of all people, know how scary a surgery can be for you.

It seems that they also get the same understanding as you do; so, your father has just smiled and nodded, telling you Soonyoung can stay if it helps you go through the night.

That night, you lay under the blanket with Soonyoung holding you close to him.

“What do you want to do most when you’re all better?” he asks, his fingers waving through your hair.

You hum, though in your mind you don’t mind doing anything as long as it’s with him. “I want to see the stars again like we did that day.”

Soonyoung smiles that dazzling smile of his again, a smile reserved just for you. “The stars were really beautiful that day, weren’t they?”

“Yeah. I think it’ll be good if we can go stargazing again someday,” you tell him, a yawn escaping through your lips.

“You’re not gonna cry tomorrow, are you?” he asks, pulling you closer.

“As long as I get to see you again,” you simply say, settling on the space near his neck.

Soonyoung doesn’t say anything in return, just holds you a little tighter until sleep finally finds the both of you.

Soonyoung apologizes to your parents the moment you’re submitted to the surgery room, telling them he can’t wait until it ends because there’s an emergency back home.

They have just smiled, nodding their head in understanding. Your mom hugs him for a moment, thanking him for making you the happiest they’ve ever seen.

He smiles at them, thanking them for having someone as beautiful as you are.

When your mom comes back home from the hospital, the house is strangely dark despite Jihoon being home. The surgery has gone well despite the doctor telling them to brace themselves, but you need to stay in the hospital for a few days and your father has offered to stay with you.

She calls for Jihoon as she turns on the lamps, but there’s no answer. She checks his studio, but he’s not there. When she comes up to check in his room, it is instead from your room that she hears someone crying.

It’s been so long since she’s heard Jihoon cries; the last time is probably almost two decades ago. She’s unsure on how to approach him nor what could possibly happen that her first son is crying to the point where she can hear him from outside.

“Jihoon?” she calls, turning the door knob. Her steps halt the moment she opens the door, her son holding Soonyoung in his arms, his body limp as if he couldn’t hold his own weight. “Jihoon, son, what happened?”

He shakes his head, barely able to let out the words out of his mouth.

“He…” he takes a deep breath, wiping his own tears. “he used his third wish.”

Your mom gasps, struggling to say anything in response.

“For your sister?” she finally says, her voice barely a whisper and tears already forming in her eyes.

Jihoon nods, tears escaping his eyes once again.

He hates to think what would happen to you once you find out.

“Thanks for bringing me here,” you tell your brother, your arms leaning to the fence while you tuck yourself deeper into your jacket as the both of you stand near the river. “Feels like it’s been so long since I go out at night.

Jihoon smiles, his arms also resting on top of the fence as he looks at the river in front of him, reflecting the endless sky above it.

“The stars are really pretty tonight, don’t you think?” you say again, and Jihoon can tell at once that you’re holding back your tears.

Your brother looks up to the sky, following your gaze. “Yeah, maybe they know you’re going to see them tonight.”

“He told you, didn’t he?” you turn to him, a smile in your face though the tear falling down your face betrays you. “He must’ve told you I want to go stargazing again.”

Jihoon moves closer to you, letting you bury your face in his chest as your tears refuse to stop falling. “He said he wants you to see the stars again. I’ve never been one to listen to Kwon Soonyoung, but I can’t not do that when I know that’s what you want, can I?”

You cry harder at the mention of his name, your heart tightening at the fact that you can’t see him ever again. You want to wonder if you deserve this, if you want to live a life without his smile brightening your day. But you know Soonyoung wouldn’t allow you to think like that.

Your selfless lover wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up for his choice, but it’s hard not to do that when you’re basically the cause of his demise.

You haven’t even spent that much time together with him, probably a few months pass a year since the first time you welcomed him to your life. But he was ready to lay his life down for you already and that’s exactly what he did. He gave you another chance at life and you know you can’t let his wish go to waste by mourning for too long.

“Stay there if you’re still crying, okay?” Jihoon says, his chin on top of your head. You can hear his voice faltering, but you understand why. “He might be watching you up there and I’m sure your tears aren’t what he wants to see.”

You nod, letting your tears fall some more before finally calming down, head pounding a little from too much crying. You let your hair down, hiding your face until you’re sure there’s no more trace of tears in your face except for your puffy eyes.

As you walk back home with Jihoon next to you, you look up to the sky, printing them in your mind. They seem to shine brighter that you’ve ever seen before.

You’d like to believe it’s Soonyoung shining down on you, knowing how much you love him and the stars.

이른 햇살이 녹아내린다 The early sunlight melts down

너를 닮은 눈부심이 내린다  The brightness that resembles you falls down

길을 잃은 내 눈은 이제야 Cry cry cry My eyes that have lost its way finally cry cry cry

A/N: how are you guys!!!! pls tell me if i was just too generous with my tears for crying over this lol i enjoyed writing this, though, so I really really hope you enjoy this. your thoughts are much appreciated!

[dreamiesdotcom]

slow | n.jm, l.hc

summary: Jaemin likes some things slow — slowly walking from your houses to school, slowly drinking warm drinks, slowly putting puzzle pieces together, slowly dancing to Jisung's upbeat playlist, slowly baring yourselves of masks, slowly learning to trust — but slowly falling in love, he's not very sure.

word count: 2563

a/n: this is based off this post of mine (as per @flirtyhyuck 's request) and im here to say that im sorry this wasnt supposed to see the light of day

"Can you please tell Jeno to tell his best friend to stop staring at mine?" Jaemin almost growls, pulling your chair over nearer to him. You whine a little at being closer to the scent of his coffee, scrunching your nose up and pulling away. He gasps at the rejection but you smile at him and reach for his hands instead. He rolls his eyes and faces Renjun, "Please."

"Na, you know I don't talk to people. I'm allergic." Renjun grumbles. "Talk to Jisung instead, he's been hanging out with the music kid for a project."

"He's older than you, and he has a name," Jisung grimaces over a cup of hot chocolate. "His name is Mark. Mark Lee."

"See?" Renjun shrugs as if to prove a point. "He even knows his 'name'."

"But this is so unfair!" comes the inevitable whine from the younger. "Chenle is friends with Hyuck-hyung!"

"Chenle is friends with everyone. Whatever, one of you needs to do it." Jaemin sighs, turning his chair to face you. He raises a brow, "What're you thinking?"

Your hand still loosely wraps around his, and he slowly entwines them together.

Warm. It's warm like a cup of whatever the hell it is Na Jaemin is drinking. What were you thinking, though? A while ago, there was a lot — random numbers, other subjects, an article you read yesterday, the way Jisung's eyes shined at the mention of Mark. Right now, there's only one; Don't catch feelings.

Those thoughts are regular and they were haunting. These days, they're not as incessant as the past few months, but they still come and they are unbelievably strong — don't catch feelings. Something tells you that it's too late and you already did. Something tells you that you are stupid.

But, what if things worked, right? He's soft and kind and he's lovely. You fit in a lot of things and you disagree in some but that's just perfectly balanced, isn't it? He won't hurt you — oh, how he won't do that. He never will. Na Jaemin, this magical boy — what if?

"Damn, Lee Donghyuck is really in love with you," someone chimes loudly, and you don't even need to see who's rushing to your table before Jisung groans in disdain and makes space for this odd friend. Chenle makes a vague motion, asking people to look away. "He talked my ear off about how pretty you looked while painting at Art's class. He's whipped."

What if, huh? You turn away from the idea with a smile. Don't be silly...

"No, he's not, Chenle." You reply to the boy but keep your eyes at Jaemin, smiling still. "I wasn't thinking about anything. That was me spacing out."

Jaemin rolls his eyes again, seemingly moodier than usual. His soft giggle later makes you laugh, though. Oh, how weak this boy was. How weak he became when someone smiled at him. Or maybe, only when a specific someone does it.

"What do you mean 'No he's not, Chenle'?" The brat refuses to get the hint and live him down. He makes a quick show of turning around to the other side to check Lee Donghyuck and his friends' table, then pointing at them, "He's staring at you."

"He's not!" You hiss, glaring at the people who are either eavesdropping or watching or worse, both.

"Is, though." Jisung shrugs. "I bet he writes you love songs."

"Does not!" you glare at the duo, begs Jaemin through your eyes to tell them to stop. Unfortunately, Jaemin is already gushing at the two. You stomp your feet to get their attention, "We don't even know each other!"

And that was a lie. Renjun's eyes read those words, he must've known. He probably knew about the accidental bumping into each other at the playground, or the awkward laughs you two share at the convenience store; maybe he saw him helping you with Mathematics at the library, or he stumbled upon most of your accidental meetings; those were by coincidence, right? They had to be. Renjun's eyes also read another set of words: Don't break his heart.

But how can you not? You weren't in love with him. You were in love with somebody else, and you wished that the sunshine boy didn't adore you like that. Why does Renjun care about Hyuck? They haven't even spoken to each other. You sigh, and at that very moment, you hear the door open and close. Donghyuck and his friends left. The room mourns the lack of the warmth of their muffled laughter.

"You know what, I'll just go see Lee Donghyuck." You huff your cheeks, palms slamming on either side of the table. Jaemin startles, tries to speak, but you're already cutting him off with a much more determined gaze.

"I have his number from when Chenle got it for me. I'll go home, change clothes, ask him to meet up and I'll prove you guys wrong." you stand up, tearing away from his stare. "It'll drive me crazy if I don't."

"But we—" he bites back a sigh, but you notice the way his hands attempted to reach up and pull you back down to your chair. It seemed like a quiet plead to hang around. He smiles, "Do you need a ride?"

That day you told him no, and you pinched his cheeks instead of your usual kind of goodbye; that one where you pout and tug at his sleeves, wishing for fifteen more minutes without words but only your eyes, knowing you'd meet each other tomorrow but not quite wanting to even part.

If Jaemin knew that it will be the moment where everything begins to change, he knows he would have held you tight and never let you go.

You officially got together with Donghyuck on the 24th of December. Jaemin isn't interested in knowing how it happened, but he briefly remembers the next few days after that: everyone talking about Donghyuck's sweet voice, Mark and Jeno playing the guitar, and a kiss under a mistletoe. Renjun and Jisung gave him as many sweets as they could manage to find, though they quickly realized that he isn't gonna give up on his little role of a boy not broken. Chenle was the one who talked him down, smacked his head, hugged him tight, and told him to snap out of it.

It was sure as hell disrespectful and he got an earful after that, but it did help Jaemin. At that moment, there was a silent agreement between the three that it was all that mattered: Jaemin accepted the pain and knew that he wasn't alone in all of this.

Heartbreak felt bitter and it wasn't kind, but Jaemin knew that much. Chenle's been saying those things to him for a while now — especially if it's because of someone you're close to. Even more if you haven't confessed yet, hyung. Damn it. It hurts so much — he said so many times Jaemin couldn't bother count. He never learned this, though, and he never even thought that he'd be in this situation: right now, he should be making a homework. Right now, he just realized that a heartbreak is even more extremely cruel if you never even realized that you had feelings until the moment you're hurting.

He looks down on his open notebook, glares at the unanswered question before ultimately giving up. Beside him, Renjun lost himself in a book and Chenle fell asleep. He searches for Jisung only to find him with a very familiar-looking boy — Mark Lee — shyly talking behind a bookshelf. Jaemin grits his teeth and wonders what the hell it is that this group has that he keeps losing his friends to them.

Sometimes, Jaemin falls into the ways of an escapist, as Renjun said once. He and his big words were normal. What's not normal is his daydream — it wasn't the two of you and your friends in Neverland, and it wasn't his imagination of how future plans would unfold — because sometimes he tends to do that, imagine how things would go. Right now, he's not thinking of that sleepover at Chenle's. He's not drinking up the image of a long, aimless drive (that will certainly happen. Jisung won't allow it not to happen), stargazing and exchanging theories on extraterrestrial life (that will definitely happen once again, because of Jisung as well, but now with the help of Renjun). His daydreams center on rain clouds today.

In his mind, you're both in some comforting cottage in the woods and there's a thunderstorm. The scent of petrichor and deep wood mixes with a calm and cozy atmosphere. You're tucked safely in his arms and he has you all to himself; right now, in his mind, he can be as selfish as possible. You're talking and laughing over sweet little nothings, and Jaemin has to catch himself a little so that even if he continues to fall, it wouldn't be as fast. He likes some things slow. He likes soaking up certain moments just as much as he likes the other events' turbulence. With you, he loved everything slow.

Slowly walking from your houses to school. Slowly drinking warm drinks. Slowly putting puzzle pieces together. Slowly dancing to Jisung's upbeat playlist. Slowly baring yourselves of masks. Slowly learning to trust.

Slowly falling in love, he's not very sure. More often than not, he would ask himself in his mind: 'Would it all be different if I fell in love faster?'

Maybe there were some things that needed to be rushed. Some things that needed to be instantaneous. He laughs inside his mind and asks again, 'Can this heartbreak be quicker, then?'

The false memory is ruined.

Jaemin comes back down to reality at the scent of roses. His shoulders ache a little from leaning at the lockers, so he stands properly and meets your confused expression. Roses. Chocolates. Letters. You. You look awfully flustered and the pink hue in your cheeks becomes bolder and bolder each phrase your eyes read. Jaemin smirks and takes a peek.

I don't know what went through my head or whatever hopeless romantic spirit decided to posses me today, but I love you. And I miss you. Let's have a date?

Cheesy. His grin grows wider but he promises himself that it's the last. He won't look at you so lovingly again. He won't feel like this anymore. Donghyuck is bratty and headstrong but he was kind and he cherished you, ready to give you the world — Jaemin finds that he can do that, too. Except that it's Donghyuck whom you intensely love. He promises himself that he'll get over you but only because he knew that he's bad at promises.

"Against Hyuck?" he drawls as if to make a joke. His laugh sounded way too wounded for it to be funny, though, and he leans to the lockers again because his knees buckle at your gaze, the one that slowly makes him melt all the damn time. "There was never really a chance for me, huh?"

He thinks you'd run away and go as far as possible from him from then on. He thinks you should — he implied that he liked you. He implied that he wanted a chance. He implied that he hoped for it. When you didn't do anything but tear your eyes away from the lovely note, he assumed you've taken it as a joke, that you were dense — that you were dense again. Instead, you tilted your head to him, "This is where it gets painful."

He aches to ask what it is that you meant, but he found that he couldn't speak. He's tongue-tied and he couldn't move, couldn't find the right words to say. It's as if his ability to make a sound was stolen from him. He's unaware of the world because all he can see is tender gazes and all that he can listen to is a gentle voice, then the words he never thought he'd hear — you were staring at him and then you sighed.

"You did, once."

A series of unexpected events have already unfolded, but this probably was one of the top three. He doesn't know where he gets the strength, but he stands straight again. He tears all the what if's and what could've been's and what will never be away for this moment, and he doesn't dwell on the fact that you loved him. That there was a chance. That he completely missed that chance because he was so afraid, so scared of falling in love and ruining all that you both have slowly built together. He doesn't understand how he even got to crack up at that realization, but he does — "And that was a perfect exchange. Jisung would love that."

You wink at him in quick humor, but you laugh at him with unrest, "Why Jisung?"

"He's into this kind of thing these days." He shrugs. "Speaking of, isn't it weird how Jisung all so suddenly likes sappy movies? Is he going through something?"

"He hasn't said anything. Maybe he's not yet ready to share with the class, Jaemin." You reply, smirking, "Are you playing detective, or are you nosy?"

"I'm concerned." He lights flicks your forehead. You giggle as he does that, eyes fluttering shut, and his heart stings again. When you open them, he's staring at you.

The look in your eyes screamed of honesty and pure truth. Jaemin understands, he always does. And he knows too, he knows that you're aware as well. He knows that you saw the same sincerity in his eyes and you knew that every single bit of that intense moment was true. At that, he swings an arm at your shoulders and led the two of you to the exit, opening a talk about your other friends and plans of meeting at 12 pm at the usual for lunch, then he cracks a joke, and you genuinely chuckle.

"I used to daydream about us," used to be said to prompt a laugh. On a normal day, that was the joke that makes you fall over and not the multiple bizarre versions of "Why did the chicken cross the road?". On a normal day, you two would talk hours and hours about daydreaming about each other, some sappy and some downright comedy. On a normal day, that's the topic you both center around as you walk your way to your other friends.

Today wasn't a normal day, though, because today you shine under the sun brighter than others, and you look very stunning in yellow. Today wasn't a normal day because you didn't take the normal route, instead, you made a turn to bid someone a quick farewell. Today, "Do you think there's another world where we're together?" doesn't feel like a question elicited from Renjun's multiverse theories and "If you knew, would you try?" isn't just a verse from Jisung's surprising secret stash of self-written poetry. Today, "You were a dream that shined brightly above me and just like the fate of a gazer and a star, you are so far from my reach" isn't just something he read out of the book Chenle reads.

Today, Jaemin watches you fall in Donghyuck's arms like it was all you were meant to do, and his heart breaks.

[tiliamericana]

Muay Thai: 1.04

Read From Start | Read Ahead | Home Site

It was amazing just how quickly Nairi got used to waking up and finding texts from Cherry waiting for her.

Cherry seemed to be up and on at all hours of the day; she was awake in the morning well before Nairi’s eleven o’clock alarm, but also worked well into the small hours of the night and put in long hours at the day job. Nairi had managed to ascertain that it had something to do with art—Cherry had strong opinions on grades of paper (something about absorbency), colour theory (people were stupid), watercolours (they were bad), and on the one occasion she’d come upstairs had informed Nairi that her walls were driving her mad and that she’d be painting something to stop the encroaching insanity.

When she wasn’t inserting herself into Nairi’s life she was sending Nairi pictures and selfies with her other friends; grad students with brightly coloured hair, a grinning bartender showing off his flair, baking with a short woman in glasses. And now this:

C: youre closed on tues y/y?? C: which means yourf free tonight right?

Nairi sent her back a quick “yes” and set her phone down before pulling herself out of bed to face the day. Not opening the dojo meant she was able to take a little longer with her morning, but she still preferred to do her prayers before she had to think about anything else, and Cherry was prone to showing up if Nairi indicated she had free time. Which she apparently had a lot more of than she realised.

Maybe she should look for a new style to start training in. This was the first time she hadn’t been focused on a new one since she… Well, for a while.

When she came back upstairs her phone was lit up again. Maybe Cherry had ideas about lunch? It would mean she’d have a reason to go out and eat something.

C: great!! C: dn you wanna come out tonight?? dinner C: on me if i need to sweeten it ;) edies just moved back fr work and if its just me her and nick im go6na die from them being old folks who disapprove all night C: also i keep talking about you at nick and he wants to meet you lol

Nairi had initially assumed ‘Nick’ was Cherry’s father, just based on the way she talked about him. But then Cherry had mentioned her father later, just calling him ‘Dad’, so maybe he wasn’t? Either that, or she was very discreet about their being gay. Or she just went back and forth between ‘Dad’ and ‘Nick’ arbitrarily. ‘Edie’ on the other hand was a name Cherry had mentioned in passing once and then never again, so Nairi had concluded she was one of the colourful grad students. Apparently not.

She sent back a “sure”, and then after a moment, asked for a place and time.

C: yay!! thank you!! C: its this fckn italian place edie loves but theres a ok bar so not all bad C: edies fatal allergic to being on time but nickll be 7 minutes early

The next message was a sticker, a little pair of eyes rolling across her phone screen when she opened it.

C: meet at 7? C: i checked the menu has good veg C: pasta heavy but good :p

Nairi smiled a little at that and sent her another “yes”. After a moment she added a “thank you”. Cherry sent her back three hearts, and Nairi put her phone down to go and get some lunch.

She didn’t think anything of it until she showed up at the restaurant. Cherry had driven and was already parked, leaning against the side of her obnoxious little two door to wait. It was bright red and nearly vintage, and she’d obviously put a lot of care into it. Nairi had half expected vanity plates, but they were a normal registration.

Nairi waved as she approached and Cherry visibly perked up with a wide, glossy smile, waving back. Cherry had dressed up a little nicer—dark skinny jeans and a pretty sleeveless shirt with a modest v-neck. The heavy Docs were gone, traded for heeled ankle boots, and she had delicate pearl bob earrings to match her golden cross. Not a paint spatter in sight.

“Hi,” she said as Nairi drew to a halt just out of arm’s reach. “Didn’t we pick an interesting night to go out?”

“We sure did,” said Nairi, her brow furrowing as she looked past Cherry to the road between them and the restaurant. “What the hell is going on?”

The stretch of asphalt was filled with a flock of young adults, all of them shirtless, yelling along together in an incomprehensible chant as they ran up and down between two unmarked points on the road. They were arguably being directed; a young woman with a reflective coat and a manic grin, holding a megaphone in one hand and an airhorn in the other, was standing on a shopping cart in the middle. Standing next to her on the ground, was another woman in reflective orange with a clipboard.

Judging by the amount of honking and the lack of anything resembling city signage, this wasn’t an official event.

Cherry glanced down at her phone as one of the women held up the airhorn to the megaphone. Charitably she waited for Nairi’s ears to stop ringing before she spoke. “Flo did a round on the facebook pages—apparently it’s some dorm flash mob from a hall at her college.”

“Which one’s Flo? Did she have the blue hair?” asked Nairi as she lowered her hands from her head and gladly pulled her attention away from a panting eighteen-year-old who had something pink painted on his heaving chest.

“Nah that’s Mason, he’s finishing up his sociology honours. Flo has the green hair, she’s doing her psych PhD,” said Cherry, craning her neck to look around Nairi. “Nick’s here! Right on time, like I said.”

She started waving, and Nairi turned to see the tallest man she’d ever seen waving back across at them. She raised an eyebrow, the muscles in her forearms tensing, and she tried not to feel too uneasy about it.

Cherry hummed happily, picking herself up from where she was leaning on the car door and reaching in through the open window to grab a thin cardigan from the seat. “Oh, and just a heads up,” she said casually, “Nick like, really hates it when people call me Cherry, it’ll probably be better if you just use my real name in front of him.”

Nairi opened her mouth to remind her that she’d never actually gotten around to saying what the was exactly, but Cherry was already halfway across the lot towards the man. “Nick!” she called out as she approached, closing the distance and leaning up on tiptoe to wrap her arms around his shoulders.

He said something to her, pausing to hug her back before continuing over to Nairi. He drew to a halt next to her while Cherry returned to perching against her car. “You must be Nairi,” he said, voice alarmingly deep, hand outstretched. “Linden’s told me so much about you.”

Nairi took his hand and shook it once before dropping it, resisting the urge to take a step back once she’d done so. “Likewise. It’s very nice to meet you.”

Nicholas was close to seven feet tall and probably in his late fifties or very early sixties if she was any judge. His hair had landed firmly in the ‘grey’ zone just past salt-and-pepper, though he’d managed to keep rather a lot of it, close cropped in a very standard short back and sides. He had broad shoulders and a carefully ironed shirt that looked worn but cared for. He had a firm grip, muscle swelling ever so slightly in the lines of his shirt, and there was a furrow in his brow that made him look deeply concerned about something.

Though, from what she’d learned being friends with Cherry—Linden—if she were an older adult in her life she’d probably be deeply concerned as well. Or maybe it was the students.

“Do either of you know what’s going on here?” he asked after a moment, nodding at the crowd.

“Youthful hijinks keeping us from our dinner,” said Linden, grinning easily. She’d released some of the tension in her shoulders since Nicholas’s arrival, but at the same time seemed a little more on edge, like she was anticipating something. She took a deep, exaggerated breath, and pushed her hands into her jean pockets. “Do you know what that smell is?”

Nairi exchanged a faintly puzzled look with Nicholas, though his looked a little more exasperated. “Cheap beer?” she tried.

Linden sniggered. “Yeah, we called it ‘Eau de Freshie’ when I was in school,” she said, tossing her head to give the students behind them a speculative, almost mean look. They were still yelling enthusiastically, and she gestured at them. “It’s no longer funny, anyway. How many of these assholes do you reckon I have to beat up to let us get through?”

“I’m sure it doesn’t need to come to that,” said Nairi, her mouth twitching a little at the side.

Nicholas shot her a grateful look. “From the looks of things someone has already called the police, I’m sure they’ll be dispersed presently,” he said with a nod towards a pissed off looking woman standing by the crosswalk, phone jammed up against her ear.

“The cops always take fucking forever,” complained Linden, running a hand through her hair, foot tapping impatiently. “Come on Nick, you actually like, made a reservation and now we’re gonna miss it.”

“Linden I’m reasonably certain the staff can see what’s happening from where they’re standing,” said Nicholas, irritation creeping into his tone. “A little patience will not kill you, please do not start a fistfight with a teenager.”

Linden grinned at him, stretching her arms out in front of her chest. “I’m like, pretty certain the one with the airhorn is at least twenty.”

“Linden.”

“Well, I mean,” said Nairi speculatively, eyeing the students. “All you really have to do is be flashier than them.”

One of the running students fell out of pitch with their friends, and someone complained in her peripheral. A car door slammed and there was the crunch of footsteps on gravel followed by a huff as someone else joined the spectators. Linden turned her grin back to Nairi. “Yeah? You got an idea?”

“Yeah,” said Nairi, stepping up to Linden and reaching past her into the car window.

The other items she wanted were on the front seat, and Linden’s grin only widened as Nairi pulled them out. The baseball bat was wooden and well used, with a long crack threatening to split it clean open and letter stickers in the world’s ugliest font spelling ‘LINDE’ down the length. There was a clean spot amongst the built-up grime under the ‘E’. The bottle of lighter fluid was about half full, and Nairi held the bat out in front of her to squirt the contents over it liberally, splattering the asphalt in front of them as she did so.

She reached around Linden, extending the same familiarity she’d been receiving from her for the last two weeks, and pulled the lighter out of her back pocket.

The bat lit up easily and Nairi twisted it around to hold it upright, offering it to Linden. Linden looked at her, wide eyed, and took the bat. She placed her other hand on Nairi’s shoulder and squeezed it gently. “You get me,” she said with warmth, before throwing her head back and cackling loudly, sprinting towards the crowd of students with the bat raised over her head.

Nicholas, next to her, made a faint, strangled noise. Behind her was a scoff and a loud voice. “Well. I’m guessing you must be Nairi.”

She turned and came face to face with an older woman in a rumpled men’s dress shirt and glasses who was glaring at her. She had red hair, natural as opposed to Linden’s box dye, and it was plaited out of the way to keep her tired face clear. Grey blue eyes stared down Nairi under her stern brow, and she uncrossed her arms to step forward into Nairi’s personal space. She was stocky and only a little shorter, barely having to raise her chin. “Just for reference,” she said, tone acerbic, “If I hear a single piece of news about young adult burn victims in the local urgent care facilities tomorrow? I will track you down and hold you personally responsible.”

She stepped away without waiting for an answer, glare sliding over to Nicholas. “You’re so right, Nicholas, I can see how much of a model presence she is,” she said in a way that even Nairi could read the sarcasm. “You remain a uniquely terrible judge of character.”

She strode across the street in the wake of Linden’s chaos. The students had mostly scattered with cheers and yells, and the girl with the megaphone was doubled over laughing in her shopping cart.

Nicholas was very slowly turning red, staring at Nairi with an unreadable expression. She coughed slightly and spun on one foot to follow the others across the street, trying to swallow her irritation at their judgement.

[rosyerim]

pocket sized!nct dream

basically nct dream but,,,they can fit in your hand,,, also mark isn’t here but I couldn't find a dream gif w/o mark 

haechan;

usually sitting ontop of your right shoulder, judging every task you do

“why does your handwriting resemble chicken scratch?”

“your hair is greasy, you should wash it”

“that ramen isn't cooked properly, the water is too hot!”

“haechan I will throw you in the pot”

he shuts up realll quick

but then he's back to whining & will only shut up if you give him half a cookie since he can't finish it whole

he loves a good ole KUWTK marathon but you have to remind him he is not actually Kim kardashian and you’re not his assistant

once he was looking for his your headphones & started snapping his fingers at you to get them lol you weren't happy

he doesn't even have to try but haechan can make you laugh at literally anything he’s just naturally funny 

so whenever you’re in a bad mood, the boys send him out to you to sooth you & it usually works lmao

is like your own personal stylist, he makes sure to check out your outfit before you go out anywhere

when he doesn't like it he just gives you a certain look up and down

“you don’t like it? whats wrong w it?”

“that top with those heels? whats right with it?

renjun;

steals your pencils that are basically stubs so he can do some drawing of his own :’((

makes you stay up late with him to watch conspiracy theories about the universe but then falls asleep on your phone screen 20 mins in

loves when you buy little stones for yourself, for like protection & well being, etc and renjun will spends hours wiping them down & researching everything he can on the stones

uses your phone just so he can learn how to do ballet from the comfort of your house but is still too shy to show you a dance routine for now

hates hates scary stuff but insists on watching the documentary about serial killers & afterwards he usually ends up sleeping on the pillow your head is on because he swears he's being watched lol

prefers sleeping in your hoodie pockets but has had one too many near death experiences with you not realising & catching him as he falls out so now you carefully pick up any article of clothing you own

likes the piano tiles app because he can basically play it using his lil feets 

he also beats your high score so you're lowkey salty but so long as he’s happy 

comes to you first about all his problems & likes to have a lil venting session with you & him cuddled in the armchair, sharing a cup of hot chocolate because he doesn't like bitter things

sometimes when you’re feeling kinda down he sits down on your shoulder & sings to you softly in chinese because he doesn't want you to,,,feel alone,,,my heart,,,,take it(●´□`)♡

jeno;

the quietest boy out of the six and the sweetest little boy ever :’((

brings you flowers he picked out of your neighbours garden covered in dirt because he saw how stressed out you were abt studying & reminds you to drink your water <33

likes to sit on your lap watching morning cartoons, giggling away behind his tiny bowl of cereal 

is best friends with the next door neighbours cat yet is deathly allergic to them??

he nearly scared you one morning when you were woken up by jeno’s teeny screams from around your house but turns out he was just riding on the cats back

you ended up having to take care of him for two days since he got super sick

you tried to scold him but he was still on the high from being up so high so he's just like 

“okay I'm sorry I won't do it again (｡◝‿◜｡)”

goes on random junk food hunts around your kitchen, can be found eating half a dorito chip in your cupboard at 3am mood

has a newfound love for asmr’s & if you ever lose your phone, worry not because jeno has it & is watching; long nails tapping different objects for two hours, no talking, only sounds 

also looooves dancing so he likes free styling with jisung by the radio & gets all shy & blushy when you compliment him 

jaemin;

lives in your shirt pocket because its 1) close to your heart & 2) very warm in there & 3) doesn’t have to leave your side!!

loves you v much & expresses it by leaving little pecks on your fingertips :’)))

likes to sleep on your fluffy plushies because its super comfy to him

his favourite is obvi ryan

fave spot is standing on your counter doing the best he can to help you bake sweet treats

imagine him standing holding up a whisk attempting to mix the wet ingredients with the dry ones but ending up falling :(( 

bub gets sad because he's afraid he messed it up but gets happy again when you set him on decorating the cakes :)) he’s super concentrate & even goes as far as to write your name best he can with icing

if its long then he just writes ur nickname 

likes to spend some of his free time reading books

the first time you were really confused on why your english book standing on its spine, had pages opening randomly 

turns out it was just jaemin being an intellectual

 you end up helping him flick the pages tho after he gets a paper cut :(

he really milks it tho like

“oh no y/n my hand is in pieces, I think im dying ε-(≖д≖﹆)”

but once you give him a hello kitty bandaid & hugs he's okay

chenle;

likes to sit in the palm of your hand & talk to you about how your day went & about how his day went & the birds he saw in the sky today & how he likes ice cream & basically it’s him babbling away to you

but you don't mind it, he's so endearing :’)

goofiest little man, tells you random jokes he heard on the radio & gets all smiley when you laugh at them, even if they're not funny

makes you play dominos with him but by the time he's gotten three standing up, you've got the whole thing set up

doesn't stop him from pushing the first one down and shrieking in delight when they all fall in sync aw cute baby

he also watches some KUWTK w/ haechan as he loves the drama & he picks up the lingo 

“hey lele have you seen my phone?im so annoyed I can't find it”

“omg there are literally people dying y/n ੧| ‾́ー ‾́ |੭”

you end up banning them from watch it 

even tho he’s small he eats a loooott

he will eat an entire bowl of ramen if you let him & you try to stop him but all he has to do it be like

“please let me eat it all y/n i wont get sick i love u uwuଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧”

“oh of course you can you cutie here you go (n˘v˘•)¬”

he ends up with a tummy ache, again so you’re looking after him, again

not that you mind, he's the babiest of babies (˵¯͒⌄¯͒˵)

jisung;

can be found sleeping on top of the fluffiest make up brush you own

sleeps everywhere, likes sleeping under your carpet??

when you try waking him up he just falls back asleep in your hand :,))

if he's not sleeping, he's free styling by your radio and you can't help but record it

swears he doesn't like your slime yet you've had to help him out of multiple sticky sticky situations because he got too excited playing with your strawberry scented slime

watched one episode of gordon ramsay & swears he's the masterchef 

“aii that’s not how you fry the rice! you need to wait until it sizzles dude do you even know what you’re doing?!”

you set him down in the timeout corner

but he’s just chilling like

“if I get food poisoning its your fault (｡･･｡)”

picks up the local whiteboy lingo after he listens to his “lit asf playlist”

will randomly say aye & start nae naeing to you like, tapping your pen on the desk when you're studying 

won't admit it but loves when you cup him in your hands & sway him from side to side & he trusts you enough not to drop him

also has a weird habit of surfboard in the sink with a barbie surfboard & tells you to blow on the water so he can “surf”

you do it tho because his little giggles fill your heart

bonus; imagine all of them in little onesies of their fave animals & little cute hoods ♡✧。 (⋈◍＞◡＜◍)。✧♡

[todays-jeremy-heere]

Recap Post

So I’ve had a couple requests for what the fuck has happened so far from newer people to our dandy set of blogs, here it is! Keep in mind this is all mostly improv so if it’s a bit all over the place then oops lol rip. (Older people and other today blogs, feel free to yell at me if I miss anything.) 

NOW INCLUDING LINKS TO CERTAIN IMPORTANT THREADS

The three not main characters in the bmc group are:

Madeline, Thalia (George’s character from Smartphone Hour), and Dustin Kropp

Let’s start at the beginning, a very good place to start :)

So the first activity of these blogs is nothing special, just silly conversations, teasing each other, and because no one is together yet, flirting. But eventually, people pair up so those people are...

Brooke x Rich, Michael x Jake and Dustin x Jeremy

Thalia asks Jeremy and Mr Heere if she can move into their house because she has an abusive father she wants to get away from, they say yes and now she lives with them. Sometime after this Thalia pairs up with Madeline. 

Jake and Chloe keep having childish arguments because they are both still salty about thier past relationships. Jake brings up how Chloe sexually assaulted Jeremy at the Halloween party last year. Tension happens between Chloe and Jeremy where they both think the other hates them.

After a bit Thalia and Madeline break up, this causes Thalia to spiral and she gets a Squip. She is very clearly not ok and whenever anyone tries to reason with her she says she doesn’t need help because she’s perfect. Then, of course, it goes wrong because it always does and she starts threatening to murder Jeremy, whenever Dustin tries to scare her off she does the same to him. There’s a massive completely improvised fight scene at Jeremy’s house (we were all freaking out on the mod discord lol), in which Chloe gets a concussion, Rich nearly gets murdered and Thalia tries to force feed Jeremy Mountain Dew Green...

When everyone wakes up the next day you have some cute shipping junk between some of the couples since their SO was nearly killed. Chloe and Jeremy realise they both don’t hate each other because they actually TALK TO EACH OTHER TO FIGURE SHIT OUT.

Meanwhile, Chloe and Madeline have clear romantic chemistry and everyone can see it but them, they ‘fake’ flirt and go on ‘fake’ dates while saying ‘I cAn’T POsSibLY sEE HoW ShE cOUld LIkE mE’. It’s cute, we all love it.

But it goes wrong when Chloe says that Madeline should keep some distance from her because she’s scared of whatever’s going on between them and that obviously hurts Madeline because they have become really close friends since the blogs started. Madeline spirals like Thalia did and gets a squip, but this time only Chloe is there to help her. Dustin was going to help but Jeremy keeps saying that he can’t go and he’s scared and he doesn’t want ‘this’ so being a good boyfriend, Dustin tries to help him. Jeremy just tells him there’s nothing wrong and Dustin should go help, Chloe. Dustin doesn’t like being left in the dark so he goes (unhappily) but he doesn't get there in time to help Chloe (I SWEAR THIS IS IMPORTANT LATER, https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179026525980/jeremy-whats-going-on-why-are-people-saying-i). So Chloe and Madeline have a fight scene and Squip!Madeline loses. (https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179030653474/listen-up-you-tic-tac-bitch-chloe)

When Maddie is in the hospital with her you get some really cute lesbian time with Chloe talking to a sleeping Madeline and what not its cute. https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179068636659/14102018

Eventually, the two of them (FINALLY) get together <3

Meanwhile, Jeremy’s mental state is getting obviously worse (posts with crossed out text, talking to ‘himself’, stuttering more, ect ect.) but whenever anyone tries to see what’s wrong he gets very defensive to the point of being kinda rude.

Dustin tries to get him to open up one final time, Jeremy says some stuff he shouldn’t have and Dustin breaks up with him, https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179194061640/101818 (Note, Dustin was completely justified and not an asshole, Jeremy was hurting both of them. https://todays-dustin-kropp.tumblr.com/post/179194994713/seriously) This sends both of them into a bad place where Dustin is pretty empty and Jeremy is panicky and defensive (and it's very obvious his squip has reactivated, https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179216021025/this-is-your-fault-n-no-he-deserves-better-than ).

Chloe and Dustin are good friends so she and him help each other out with their shit its sweet.

Whenever people try to help Jeremy he lashes out and gets very defensive. It’s very obvious at this point that during the fight with Thalia he was squipped, he talks to himself and flinches at nothing, but whenever anyone accuses him of that he adamantly denies it. He refuses to drink mountain dew red.

Chloe tries to talk to him but he yells at her and when she calls him out he starts stuttering an apology and she goes ‘Jesus stop stuttering like that.' This is the wrong thing to say to someone who spent almost a year of their life shocked whenever the speech impediment that they cannot control showed itself. Jeremy gets fucking pissed, obviously. (https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179285070845/hey-uh-ive-checked-up-on-dustin-but-how)

Madeline sends him a ‘not so friendly suggestion’ to not shout at her girlfriend. When Jeremy says how she commented on his stuttering Madeline mocks him with a fake stutter and is no help whatsoever. She says she’s sorry that they care enough to ask him what’s wrong. Jeremy has asked multiple times that they treat him like they usually do, even when he’s going through a bad time because he wants one constant thing so he says ‘If you cared about me you’d leave me alone.’ (https://todays-madeline-monroe.tumblr.com/post/179286238797/hey-unfriendly-demand-dont-fucking-yell-at-my)

Jeremy gets worse, anons try giving him an intervention, doesn't work. Chloe tries apologizing but she accidentally makes Jeremy have a mental breakdown which is always fun.

Meanwhile, Thalia finds out that a guy from her English and PE classes got her pregnant. Her mum also died, Chloe is very supportive to her and lends her a dress for the funeral. She generally isn’t having a very good time right now but everyone she knows is being so nice to her and she’s very grateful. (https://todays-thalia-mcarthy.tumblr.com/post/179404119923/hey-i-need-to-borrow-a-dress-for-my-mothers)

In preparation for Jake’s party, Dustin lets Jake know that he’s allergic to red food dye so that it isn’t in any of the food and Dustin doesn’t need to go to the HOSPITAL.

Jeremy and Chloe made up, Jeremy apologises for yelling and Chloe apologises for commenting on his stutter. They end up hugging and Chloe lets him know that even though he wants to be left alone she’s still there for him, when Jeremy starts replying with an explanation of why he can't really talk about it his squip shocks him. Rather than freaking out Chloe calmly deals with it and Jeremy indirectly confirms that he does indeed have a squip. They establish a code so that they can talk about it, green = its talking, yellow = it shocked me, and red = help. Madeline (who acted a lot worse) still hasn’t apologised and Jeremy is still mad at her. This is the post where this goes down >>> (https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179403825299/h-hey-i-im-sorry-for-s-shouting-at-you)

Chloe finally gets Dustin to open up about how he’s feeling because up until this point Dustin has just been taking care of everyone but himself. Dustin accidentally implies he’s a murderer to get Chloe to not call him an ‘egg’ but they resolve it. He isn't a murderer (probably). Chloe is everyone’s mother. (https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179437193524/someones-been-anonymously-flirting-with-your-ex)

Chloe encourages Dustin to talk to Jeremy and sort their shit out but it goes wrong when Dustin kisses Jeremy twice and Jeremy, who did not consent to that, yeets outta there because he was not ready to do anything like that with Dust bin again and he goes to Chloe’s house and he is obviously upset and he says he feels ‘gross’.

Chloe mother is having none of that shit so she goes to yell at Dustin, she told him to talk to jeremy not to kiss him. Chloe is very mad and not thinking straight (me neither chlo) so she kisses him to try and do a tase of your own medicine type thing but Dustin is just like ‘ew im gay’. Everyone is annoyed at Chloe for this because WHAT THE FUCK CHLOE DO NOT KISS A GAY GUY WHEN YOU ARE A GIRL ESPECIALLY WITHOUT CONSENT.

Madeline, her gf, says that she is terrified of how easily Chloe can hurt people like that and she breaks up with Chloe.

So now Chloe is kinda spiraling but she doesnt get a squip because she’s not AN IDIOT.

Jeremy and Dustin kinda make up, Dustin is obviously extremely sorry and Jeremy gets the circumstances and is way too forgiving in general but yeah. It’s unspoken that they are ok with eachother but they boht kinda silently agree to forget that ever happened and to move past it.

Thalia in general isn’t very mentally ok and she tries to kill herself by jumping off a bridge but Dustin saves her.

AND THAT’S WHERE WE ARE NOW FUCKERS HAVE A NICE DAY.

[j-otter-ly]

A Love So Good, It Hurts | 1/?

Theme: Youngjae fluff, angst (if you squint), friends to lovers au!

Pairing: Youngjae x Reader

A/N: Oh my god, this is my first time writing a fanfic and actually sharing. I am nervous as fuck so please be nice. This is inspired by one of my dreams of Youngjae. When I was writing this, i did not expect it to be this long so im making it into (idk how many) parts. I hope you'll like it.

I want to know love, so good that it hurts. You always thought of love as a chore. Something just tires you out. Bores the hell out of you, that you always wanted to know what it would feel like to feel something so good that it hurts. To feel something so strong that you are rendered powerless, weak. You’ve met people every now and then who were able to make your heart skip a beat or two, able to make you forget your worries, able to make you forget you have your own body. But then, at some point it becomes tiring, it feels off, then you feel nothing at all.

You’ve let yourself believe that love is not supposed to feel like something you are forced to do. And this is the reason that you have never been in a relationship that lasts long. And you always thought that you’ll be fine like this, trying to get that love, a love so good it hurts.

You found yourself immersed in these thoughts and a tiny smile plastered your face.

“What are you smiling about? We are just crossing the street?” Youngjae asks, noticing you were smiling but looking far beyond him.

He asks the most mundane questions. If only he’d known what you were just thinking about, he’ll probably sport one of his ear-splitting laughs, or just smile the brightest smile in the world.

The universe might be playing games with me, you thought to yourself. For once, you're starting to believe that people should be careful what they wish for because the more you get to know about Youngjae, the more you think that you’ve found what you’ve been looking for, a love so good that it hurts. You were just dumbfounded that in a situation like this – being in love. And you bet it hurts.

“Look.” As you pointed at the stop sign shaped like a Christmas tree, trying to make an excuse for your smile.

“Cute.” he replies, smiling back, and you could swear your heart was about to jump every time he smiles directly at you. Your knees get a little weak when his eyes curve into two single lines, cheeks raised, and lips in a tight curved line. You wonder how long you can handle this, and how Youngjae, no matter what he does, will someday be the death of you.

The green light showed and the both of you cross the busy street together, almost touching arms due to the crowd swarming both of you closer. You were both on your way to meet your friends for a late dinner. The two of you have been friends for more than a year when your co-film major, JB introduced you to his group of friends. At first, you only hang out with JB’s friends when you’re with him, but eventually you began to get closer to them that they began contacting you separately, asking you out to hang out at the café just outside your university, or texting you about their cats, or asking you for girl advice. At some point, the line between you being just JB’s friend was gone, and you’re now part of their own little group.

Somewhere along being friends with them, you become closest to Bambam and Youngjae. You just bonded often since you almost have the same interests. It was just unfortunate that you were a little bit allergic to cats that you couldn’t visit Bambam as often as you visit Youngjae, and his uber cute dog. It was then unfortunate that when you began hanging out alone with Youngjae that you become more and more attached and soon enough, you felt yourself drift, and surprisingly, you let yourself drift towards Youngjae.

Your thoughts surprised you in a good way when Youngjae placed his hand on the small of your back to guide you that you should go left. His hands just having the right amount of pressure, but to be perfectly honest, you were kind of wishing that he would hold you tighter, closer, and longer. He slid off his hands when you turned left, and it disappointed you, pouting a little.

You continue to walk a little behind Youngjae, getting bumped by a bunch of strangers walking past you. It was a Friday and you guys decided to try out the new Japanese restaurant in one of the business districts around town.

As you both continue to walk trying to locate the restaurant, your mind wanders off towards Youngjae’s hands. He was wearing a pink sweater with sleeves longer than it should be, which hid most of his hands. You began wondering what it would feel like to hold them in yours, and what it would feel like to intertwine your fingers with his. You started to think of the day when you were playing games with the boys where in they have to guess which body part they were touching while blindfolded. JB made the remark that Youngjae’s hands were soft, and actually thought it was your hands. You all laughed at how red Youngjae’s ears have become. You shook your head, trying to get a clear mind.

As he walked in front of you, your eyes drift towards his hands. And as if you were being possessed by a ghost, you grabbed his hand. Your action took you by surprise, but it was actually Youngjae who was even more surprised. He stopped walking and looked directly at you, saying nothing, waiting for an explanation. But to be perfectly honest, you don’t have one, and can’t make yourself to verbalize most of your thoughts. You ended just giving him a smile and a tiny shoulder shrug. You thought that he would find it weird that you suddenly held his hand, in public, with a hundred strangers around you. But your heart skipped so many beats you thought of getting your heart checked up for arrhythmia; because instead of letting your hands go, he tightened his grip, and you swore to god that your knees may have broken down when he intertwined his fingers with yours. You wanted to see his face but as his legs were longer, he kept leading the way but you were certain you saw him smiling at himself.

You were trying so hard to focus on walking properly but your thoughts drift away more and more. So, this is how it feels like to hold his hand, you thought to yourself. He kept leading you until you need to go on an escalator. You were disappointed that your happiness will have to end soon. You shook your head when you started wishing that you two could take the stairs so that you can continue holding his hand.

He stepped on the escalator first, and you loosened your grip to let go of his hand. Your heart breaking just a little, as you let go of his hand, you yourself should get a grip on your thoughts. You did not expect that Youngjae was not going to let go of your hand. You were still behind him, keeping you both on the right side of the escalator, he loosened his grip but kept holding onto your pointer finger while he looks up. You ran your thumb against his thumb. JB was right.

“About what?” Youngjae asks, turning to his side to get a better view of you as you were on a a step below him.

“Did I say that out loud?!” you say, scrunching your nose at the embarrassment that your thoughts escaped your head.

“JB was right about what?” He keeps asking, a little smile on his lips. As you both get to step off the escalator, you answered his question.

“Your hands are indeed soft.” You couldn’t look at him directly so you just turned your head to the other direction. Youngjae on the other hand, just kept looking at you, with sparkles on his eyes, because he couldn’t believe that you are holding his hands, and that he liked it so much.

He returned his fingers around yours and kept walking towards the restaurant. This was the first time that the two of you shared this kind of skinship.

You share a couple of hugs now and then when both of you don’t see each other for a long time. Sometimes you keep your arms linked together when you walk around the university, but you also do that to Bambam, so you thought that Youngjae wouldn’t think of it in any other way, but you thought wrong. Whenever you link your arm around his, he couldn’t help but to blush for a bit, and smile like a giant child getting what he wished for. It scared Youngjae that he might like you more than you liked him, and it scared him more whenever you hang out with him alone. He sure did liked it, but it was hard to focus when you lounge around his apartment playing with Coco. He could not stop himself imagining having you to himself. More often than not.

But he couldn’t do anything about it. Or rather wouldn't dare to.

As you saw the Japanese restaurant, you remembered that you were meeting your other friends and that maybe it’s time for you to let go of his hand. But that thought apparently did not come into Youngjae’s mind. He kept holding your hand as you entered the restaurant. You both were looking for your friends until you saw JB and Bambam sitting at a booth in the far right side of the restaurant. You were wishing that Youngjae would let go of your hand already so that the boys won’t see what’s up.

The universe might be really playing tricks on you because when you both sat down the at the table, him beside Jb, and you beside him, no one spoke of what was going on. Bambam just gave you a confused look when JB and Youngjae were talking. You shrugged at him.

JB got both Bambam’s and Youngjae’s attention asking about the new camera he has bought just a while ago.

You didn’t notice how you’ve been holding your breath until Youngjae looked at you. He looked at you so softly that you thought it was impossible that he was able to take your breath away when your lungs felt tighter and tighter begging for you to breathe. When he looked away to ask Bambam about something, you were relieved when Bambam was reaching for JB’s camera to give it to Youngjae to show him something, and finally you would be able to breathe and let go of his hand.

No matter how much you would like to hold Youngjae’s hand, it felt weird to do this in front of your friends, especially when you don’t know what was going on and what you’ve gotten yourself into. Not that you hate it, you just want to know what’s up first.

When you saw Youngjae was going to reach for the camera, you loosened your grip, anticipating for Youngjae to do the same. But he didn’t. Instead, he placed your hand on top of his thighs close to his knee. He pressed your hand once, as if saying “don’t you dare remove this.” You watched him reach for the camera, and took this opportunity to drink the water served infront of you, with your free had, because the other felt like it’s frozen.

They three of them talked about how to use the camera and such as you listened to them resting your head on your free arm on the table, craning it to get a better look at the three. You were still waiting for Mark and his girlfriend, and decided to order when they come since you guys weren’t not hungry that much.

You kept your hand where Youngjae wanted you to place it. And it surprised you that Bambam and JB didn’t make a fuss about it. You continued to listen to them bicker whether the button at the bottom will rewind the film or not. Bambam asked you to look at it too. Youngjae handed it to you, and you held the camera with both hands, they were waiting for your verdict.

“Yep, this will rewind it. I have the same thing with one of mine.” You told them handing the camera back to JB. You placed your hand on the table and the other back to cradle your head.

You and Youngjae haven’t exchanged a single word since you entered the restaurant. But for some reason, you felt like Youngjae doesn’t need to speak as he kept showing you what he was thinking through his actions. As you were playfully fiddling with the placemat on the table, when JB and Bambam looked at the menu, he grabbed your hand and placed it back on his thigh, placing a hand on top of yours. You did not complain and just continued to watch him, now you’re the one waiting for an explanation. Youngjae himself, doesn’t know what has gotten into him.

But when you held his hand first it sparked something in him that he doesn’t want to waste any second not being able to hold you, even if it’s just your tiny hands next to his. He fumbles on his phone not paying attention to you, as you kept staring at him. As you were about to grab the menu from the center of the table, you were greeted by Mark and Wendy. Youngjae removed his hand on top of yours and fist bumped his hyung. Wendy went to peck you on the cheek and as well as Mark. When Mark moved in closer to you, Mark saw that your hand was on youngjae’s thigh. And gave you almost the exact same reaction as Bambam but now, all of them are focused on you. Including Youngjae. It startled you, being the center of attention, so you removed it abruptly, and grabbed your phone on your pocket. You just smiled. And you almost swore to god that you saw Youngjae pout in your peripheral vision.

The rest of the night went ablur. There were stories of Mark being a dumbass getting caught making out with Wendy at their dorms, stories about Bambam turning into a cat lady, and stories about JB's new inspiration for his songs. You always had a good laugh whenever Youngjae tries to speak with Wendy in English because he always uses his fake English accent. You got a habit of hitting Youngjae’s arm when you laugh and it doesnt bother him because he does the same with they boys. He probably thinks that you got thay habit from him.

The dinner ended and it was you, JB, and Youngjae at the table while Bam went to the restroom. Mark and Wendy already went home. You and JB were talking while Youngjae sat back with his arms crossed listening to both of you.

"JB, who is she?" You ask him.

"There's nothing to tell. Yet." When he added the 'yet' you reached out to him to hit his arm making Youngjae lean back a little more.

"I'm going to get Bam. It's like you don't need me here." Youngjae stands up abruptly, leaving you and JB alone. JB didn't mind him, but you noticed a little bit of salt by what he said last.

"Do I know her?" You continue to ask JB about this mystery girl.

"Maybe. Maybe not." JB kept teasing.

"Ugh, you're so..." You said saking your head and taking a gulp of your drink.

"You! What's up with you and ~" he looks towards the restroom where Youngjae went. "I didnt say anything because you surprised me, but care to explain?" he said, pausing waiting for your answer.

"I don't know, Beom." Shaking your head, looking down at your hands, thinking how fast this day passed and what you’ve gotten yourself into. Jb reaches out to tossle your hair like a puppy.

"Well, whatever it is, you looked happy. I mean, more relaxed around him today. You can talk about it with me, you know that."

Youngjae couldn't hear what you guys were talking about anymore. He didn't intend to sound annoyed when JB and you decided to exclude him in the conversation, and kind of walking out on to get Bam. But it didn't help his mood when he saw JB play with your hair like that. He knows you were just close, probably closer that him. Youngjae shakes his head while he calls out for Bambam to hurry up.

Youngjae returns but doesn't sit back next to you. He grabs the camera in front of JB.

"Can I try this, hyung?" he asks JB who is now busy with his phone. JB just nods yes.

"Smile!" Youngjae tells you and you pose placing both of your hands on your chin. Flash.

"That better look good, Twae." You said.

"You always look good." He said back. You could feel your cheeks warm up. Youngjae was more surprised that he said that out loud. It was too late to take it back. He was just glad that JB was busy on his phone and Bambam was still in the restroom.

"Ah, Bambam is taking too long." JB stood up and said he was going to get Bambam, leaving you and Youngjae alone.

"Come here." Youngjae instructs you. Much to your surprise, you liked hearing Youngjae speak like that more than you should. You got up and sat beside him. He sets up the camera on one hand and grabs your waist closer to him. He wanted to take a picture of you both.

You were suddenly out of breath having him close to you like this. You can smell the sweet scent of his hair, and musky scent of his perfume. It didnt help that his hand now rests on your waist holding you closer. You try your best to smile and breathe before you faint. But it didn't help when you felt something cold on your cheek. Youngjae’s lips is now on your cheek. It was cold and a little bit moist. Flash.

It was as quick as he took the photo, but to you it felt like time stopped. Youngjae is not usually like this. You began to wonder why is he acting this way. You thought that maybe because you held his hand but you were pretty damn sure that it would mean nothing to him or if it does, it would just be because you were friends and comfortable enough with each other. Maybe he likes you back, dummy, the voice behind your head said. You believe that it is nearly impossible for someone like Youngjae take interest in you. He's just being playful, you thought back.

"Let's go, let's go!" Bambam almost startled you as he was almost running trying to get away from JB.

"Are you riding with us?" JB asks you. You looked at Youngjae as he was your ride on the way here. JB lives closer to your dorm, it would make more sense if you ride back with them. Youngjae looks at you.

"Hm, no, it's okay. Youngjae can take me home." You said, which made Bambam gasp dramatically. Youngjae’s ears were red as an apple.

"I meant take me home to MY dorm! You perv!" You said, hitting Bambam's arms twice before he retreats behind Youngjae.

"Ok, Bam, let's go!" Jb calling Bambam. "See you guys."JB said walking to the other direction.

"Let's go home?" Youngjae asks you tugging on the sleeve of your sweater. He looked like a cute puppy and everytime he does this, your heart melts a little.

You two might just be going home. You two were still jist friends. But for you, something has definitely changed. Your mind begins to wander. What if.

2?

[sufferthesea]

Hi again! Could you please do another scenario with Genma with a shy reader that's not a ninja and it's there first date but she ends up getting sick and he surprises her by coming to take care of her?

This was perfectly timed because I always get sick in October-November. Now if only I had a cute ninja boy coming to take care of me while I sat on the couch and watched movies all day. /sigh/ 

Thank you for the request!! I had a lot of fun writing this!! Please let me know if you think my scenarios/headcanons are too long! Also I literally just figured out how to write Genma, idk how he’d text 😂 I did my best. 

Words: 3.144Rating: General Pairing: Genma x Reader

Thiswasn’t how it was supposed to go. When Genma asked you out twoweeks ago you had been so excited that you were near to crying - butyou were also incredibly nervous. Genma was one of the mostinteresting guys you’d ever met, and you felt as if you were theequivalent of a talking potato sack. Not to mention you weren’teven a ninja so why onearth he’d even bother with a civilian was beyond you. Someone ofhis caliber should really be looking for a girl just as strong andknowledgeable and brave and outgoing ashim. (You’d barely managed to squeak out a “yes” when he askedyou to dinner, and it took every ounce of strength just to look himin the eyes when he spoke to you.) He must’ve read the confusion onyour face because almost immediately after asking you out, he said:

“You know, you’rereally cute when you act shy. And I figured if I didn’t ask youout, we’d never get anywhere.”

You’dthought about that for the last fortnight, your face bright red and ashy giggle falling from your lips whenever his face appeared in yourmind. But among the excitement was a bit of fear and the typicalinsecurity you often faced. You’d never really gone on a datebefore and certainly had never been asked out by someone like Genma.He’d suggested something simple - just a small dinner at a curryshop outside of the village. He said it was a cute little place andhe was sure you’d like it because it was out of the way and fewpeople went all the way out there to eat. It was nice of him to thinkof you like that, but there was still so much pressure. Would youlike the food there? What if it was too spicy? What if he thought youate too much? Or not enough? The thought of someone watching you eatwas a little overwhelming. And what if - did you dare to evenentertain this thought so early in the relationship? - what if at theend of the night he tried to kiss you? What if he kissedyou and you had curry breath? You’dabsolutely die on the spot.

Unfortunately,stressing out for the last fourteen days had done the exact oppositeof helping your health and you woke up the day of the date with asore throat, runny nose, and pounding headache. You had somehowstressed yourself into a cold,and now you were even more miserable than before. (Of course itsurely had nothing todo with the fact that you’d left open the bedroom window the nightbefore and had kicked off your blanket in the middle of the night…)

“I can’t go on adate l-like this,” you shuddered, pulling a thick woolen blanketover your shoulders and sneezing into a tissue. “I can’t l-lethim see me like this.”

Forlornly,you looked towards the clock hanging on the wall and your heartdropped. It was already noon; six hours until you were supposed tomeet Genma at the gates so he could walk you to the restaurant. Thiswasn’t good. It’s not like you could take some magic pill to getbetter immediately, and you were certain that if you decided to go onthe date then something mortifying would happen - you’d sneeze onhim, or go into a coughing fit while eating, or you’d get himsick. You couldn’t risk it - not when you’d somehow managed tograb his attention in the first place. You weren’t going to ruin itby being grossly sick all over him in a restaurant. There was onlyone option, and it killed you to even think of it.

You’d have tocancel the date.

It’d be a lie tosay you didn’t cry for a few moments as you convinced yourself thatit’s what was best. Did you want to cancel the date or did you wantto show up and gross him out?

Gathering whateverremaining strength you had, you dug your phone out of your sweatpantspocket and went through your list of contacts before you foundGenma’s number. He’d given it to you when he asked you out, butyou hadn’t texted him before. Would your first text to him reallybe canceling the date? Sometimes the universe sucked.

Steadying your handsenough to text out a legible message, you pressed send and waitedwith bated breath, the pressure behind your eyes and in the bridgeof your nose growing.

Genma - can’tmake it. im sick. rain check?

Itwasn’t good to sit there and wait so you placed your phone on thefarthest part of the coffee table and curled up on the couch, feelingawful. Everything was starting to ache and you weren’t sure whatyou should do to feel better. Going to the hospital was out of thequestion - you weren’t dying,you just had a cold. And you didn’t want to be a burden on anybodyelse by asking them to come over and take care of you. So you werestuck with the only solution - suffer alone until you were better.

Your heart jumped atthe sudden buzzing of your phone vibrating on the table and you leaptup to grab it, hands shaking as you eagerly read the message fromGenma.

That sucks. We’llreschedule. Hope u feel better soon

He hoped you feltbetter soon?! That was so nice of him! Before you could finishgushing over the simple text, a second one came through.

Let me know ifthere’s anything I can do to help

Yourfingers moved quickly to type that he didn’t have to do anything,but then you stopped. He was asking - offering - to help you throughthis dreadful time. Would it be ruder to accept his invitation andpossibly get him sick, or to decline it and spare him the vision ofyou stuffed up and snotty? It really didn’t matter if you were at arestaurant or at home, you didn’t wanthim to witness you blowing your nose or hacking or just looking likeyou’d crawled out some Pit Of Disgusting. You hated to admit it,but you got kind of whiny whenever you were ill and it was prettyembarrassing. With a little bit of heartache, you finished the textand sent it.

No, that’s okay- thx tho. I appreciate it

Almost immediately,another response sent your phone buzzing in your hands.

Anything for you;)

Youvaulted the phone away quickly, your body instantly burning hot, asurprised laugh escaping your mouth. “Wh-What? What was that?”you wheezed, pulling the blanket up to your face and staring inelation at the phone now lying on the floor across the room. “He -He put a - a winking face! What does th-that mean? Does he … oh mygosh.” Hiding under the blanket, you allowed yourself to gigglechildishly and closed your eyes tight. Genma’s perfect face wasthere - a smile gracing his features. He put a winkingface! That was good, right? Andhe’d said “anything for you”. Anythingfor you. Anything for you.How did he mean it? Would he really do anything for you? Your stomachgrowled and you grimaced; maybe you should have asked him to bringyou something to eat …

The phone buzzedagain and you practically threw yourself across the room to grab it,scrambling to clutch it close your face and read the message.

U allergic toanything?

Confused, you rereadthe message and checked to see who it was from. Genma had sent it,that was certain but … Did he think you’d called off the datebecause you had had an allergic reaction or something? Or - did hethink you’d canceled the date because you were allergic to curry?You were legitimately sick and this boy thought you were skipping outbecause you didn’t like his taste in food?

No - im good. Notcurry!! hahaha I was looking forward to eating there /:

Thatwas good enough, right? Assure him that you weren’t avoiding himbecause of that little restaurant, and that you actually didwant to go with him.

Same. Oh well.Maybe next week.

Then, a secondlater:

What r ursymptoms? Like are u coughing and sneezing? Sore throat? Or somethingelse?

Was he concernedthat your illness would still be there by next week when you actuallywent on your date? You shifted on the ground, resting on your elbowsas you thought over what to say. The point of canceling the date wasto keep him from knowing what you were going through at the moment.

Youtyped slowly, regretting every letter of your text: headache,sore throat, runny nose, congestion, sinus, everything hurts!!! ))):I feel like death tbh

Five minutes passedof absolute silence and your chest twisted in embarrassment. Had yousaid too much? You knew it - you’d messed this up. No good. Genmawould surely ditch you and go for some girl with a perfect immunesystem who looked absolutely glamorous even when she was suffering,and certainly didn’t complain about it. When another five minutespassed without a response, you pulled yourself back onto the couchand cuddled under your blanket and sighed heavily. Why did it have tohappen now?! Today of all days.

The phone buzzedagainst your chest and you yelped, jolting upwards and dropping it tothe ground. Fumbling around for it, you grabbed another tissue fromthe nearly empty box on the table and dabbed at your sore nose.

Grape or orange?

Nowthis was getting weird. Your response was only: what?

Genmaswiftly replied: Do you prefer grape or orange? Or cherry??

Uh… I don’t …care????? What is this for?

Insteadof answering, he simply asked: did u still want to go tothe curry place next week? I’ll pick u up next time. What’s uraddress?

Stumped, you staredat the glaring screen in your hands. What was going on? He was actingstrange. But your cold-infested brain wasn’t willing to work withyou to figure out what he was doing so you merely texted back youraddress. He stopped responding and you wondered if it was a mistaketo tell him where you lived. It was almost one o’clock and youreyes were feeling the weight of your illness. Sniffling into yourhandful of tissues, you curled up on your side and let yourself fallasleep.

An hour later youwere woken up by heavy knocks at your front door. It startled youawake and you rolled off of the couch, dazed and utterly lost as towhat was happening. Scrambling to your feet, you wiped drool off ofyour face and ambled over to the door, your voice croaking in pain asyou muttered, “Coming …”

Groggily, you pulledopen the door and looked blearily out into the bright world. Youshaded your eyes and squinted at the shadowed figure filling yourdoorway.

“You look as badas you said you feel,” came a voice.

Your eyes widenedand you dropped your hand, finally realizing that it was none otherthan Genma standing at your door.

“Wh-What are youd-doing here?!” you shouted, throwing your hands up to coveryourself although there was nothing to be covered. You were alreadydressed in a baggy t-shirt and sweatpants, and although your hair waswild and uncombed and your nose was as red as the swirl on Genma’sjonin jacket, you weren’t indecent. Still it was almost shameful tobe standing before such a beautiful man looking like you’d climbedout of a dumpster recently.

“Aren’t yougoing to invite me in?” Genma asked, a small smirk playing on hislips.

Youglanced back at your small apartment and you could almost feelyour cold lingering on the air. He didn’t want to go in there. “Uh… you’ll … you’re gonna get sick -!”

“Don’t worry, Igot it covered.” Genma reached into one of the half dozen bags hewas carrying and pulled out a white surgical mask, using one hand tomaneuver it onto his face. You’d only just now noticed his senbon was nowhere to be seen. “See? Now I won’t catch whatever youhave. Heh, do I look like Kakashi now?” 

“What?”

“He… you’re not a ninja. Right. You’ve probably seen him around.Kind of weird … got hair out to herethat’s silver, always has a mask on, always reading that orangebook.”

“No, I - I knowwho you’re talking about. I m-mean … What is all that?” Youmotioned to the different bags Genma was carrying and he grinned fromear to ear (not that you could see it).

“Well I figuredsince you weren’t up to going out tonight, we could have a nightin. Is that alright?”

“What? Really?”

“Sure.” He heldup a few bags with a local market’s logo across it. “This is somemedicine - I got three different kinds, since none of them coveredall of your symptoms. I also got you some tissues - it sounded likeyou’d need them.”

You looked away andblushed, trying to stealthily dab at your running nose with acrumpled tissue. “Th-Thanks.”

“Noproblem. I also got us dinner - or lunch, I guess.” He held up two paper bags from arestaurant you’d passed by before. “I wasn’t entirely sure whatyou eat, so I got a few different things.” He then shook a fewother bags strung along his arm, “And then I grabbed us somedrinks. Nothing alcoholic, though. Didn’t think you needed to betipsy and sick. Iwouldn’t make you wake up tomorrow hungover with a cold.” 

You stared inabsolute awe at the man, a happy smile spreading across your face. “W… Wow! That’s so n-nice of you! I d-didn’t think … I thoughtyou’d …”

Hecocked an eyebrow and showed you the bags again. “Listen, Iappreciate the thanks but canI come in? I’ve walked all over the village with these.”

“Oh! R-Right.Sorry.” You stepped aside to let him in and he glanced around yourapartment.  

“This is cute. Youlive alone?”

“Y-Yes …”

“Good. I don’twant anyone disturbing our date.” He dropped the bags onto thecoffee table and looked back at you. “Actually, I just don’t wantto share my food with anyone but you.”

A dry, croakygiggle jumped out of your throat before you could stop it and youcovered your face in shame. Genma gave a soft laugh himself and wavedyou over to the couch.

“Don’t beembarrassed; you’re sick. Come on. I also bought tea leaves to makeyou something hot to drink, since I’m sure you could use it. Whydon’t you put a movie in and I’ll get started on making the tea?”

Defeated, youcrumpled to the floor in front of the small media cabinet that yourtelevision was sitting on. You only had a few DVDs and you’dwatched them all to death, but if picking a movie meant you’d getyour date after all then you’d bite your tongue and suck it up. Youchose one of the more exciting films - something you’d seen once inthe village’s theater and had liked enough to purchase - and pushedthe disc into the DVD player. By the time you made it back to yourseat on the couch, Genma was arriving with two mugs full of hot tea.He handed you one and your entire body warmed with the heat of thecup. He pushed the edge of your blanket out of the way and sat downnext to you, setting aside his cup and digging through the plasticbags on the table.

“Here’s themedicine,” he said as he deposited one bag into your lap and pulledanother bag closer.

Whenyou looked through it you found three different flavors of cold syrup - orange, grape, and cherry. So that’swhat he was talking about.

“And here’s thetissues.” He then opened the two paper bags and pulled out steamingtake-out cartons. “Just tell me what you want and you can have it.”

Silently, youadmired the man beside you as he shuffled around the cartons and setup a line of bottled drinks. He caught your eye and raised aneyebrow, and you could sense the questioning smile hiding behind thesurgical mask.

“What?”

“Noth-Nothing!”You held your cup tighter and brought it to your face, breathing inthe earthy scent of tea. “I just … really appreciate this.Th-Thank you.”

“No problem. Iwasn’t going to pass on an opportunity to go on a date with you.Even if it’s …” He motioned around the apartment and shrugged.“I didn’t really feel like walking all the way out to that curryplace tonight anyway.”

Feeling a bit bold,you gave him a serious look (which was made fairly intimidating withthe deep bags under your eyes and the raw skin around your nose) andsaid, “Well don’t think - uhm - that you’ll get out of t-takingme there one day … You promised me a-a date there … and I expectt-to go there.”

Genma pulled downthe mask to reveal his broad grin, his eyes locked on yours. “We’llgo when you feel better. Promise.”

You smiled back andpressed the rim of the hot cup to your lips. “You know - you didn’thave to go through all of this for me.”

“I said anything,didn’t I?”

“Huh?”

Genma pulled out apair of disposable chopsticks and broke them apart, handing you oneof the take-out containers. “I said I’d do anything for you,right? I meant it. Mostly. Some things I wouldn’t - … Anythingwithin reason, I guess. This was no bother. This the movie you wantto watch?”

He changed thesubject so quickly your foggy brain had a hard time keeping up. “Yeah… uhm, thank - thank you.”

Genma gave you asideways glance and a small smile pulled at his mouth. “You’dbetter stop talking before you lose your voice. We won’t be able totalk when we go out next week. Then what’ll we do?”

Shrinking into thewarmth of the blanket, you nodded. “Uh - oh, well … What if I’mnot feeling better by next week?”

“Oh, you will,”Genma said as he relaxed into the couch, kicking his legs up onto thecoffee table. “I’m gonna take care of you until you feel better,so you’ll have no excuse for canceling our next date.”

Blushing hotly, younodded and smiled down into your tea. You were starting to think thatmaybe being sick wouldn’t be so bad after all.

[drferox]

20 Questions with Dr Ferox #10

200 questions in these bundled posts! Unfortunately nothing extra special for you, just more answers. 

@loveprose said:  hey doc! ive been following you for a while and i absolutely love your blog, your humor, and your intelligence! i just wanted to say that im very thankful to have learned so much from your blog, and im glad that your patients benefit from having you as their doctor! youre amazing :D QT: my headcanon for you is that you absolutely love dino nuggets, and you like to eat them as if youre a predatory dinosaur

I did not actually know that dino nuggets were a thing. So I researched.

And I have decided I need to become more familiar with them. Rawr.

Anonymous said: Do you have a list of pets you wish weren't inbred to a point where they are just a walking mess? Or, I guess my question is what are your thoughts on those types of pets, like pugs for example(pugs are the only ones I can think of at the moment)? I am perfectly fine if you don't want to answer this at all. I'm certain there are better questions to answer in your inbox.

Kind of... all of them.

The difficulty with this question is that the list doesn’t end, and sort of can’t so long as we cling to an idea of ‘purebred’ being better. Purebreds are predictable, sure, but not inherently superior.

There are inbreeding problems not just in domestic pets, but other domestic species too. Fresian and Angus cattle are heading that way too

@glassslippers-and-tinywhiskers said: Hi! So I might be getting a Papillon soon!! She's a retired show dog and seems perfect except that she needs to have a few of her top front teeth removed. She's only 3 and her breeder takes very good care of her dogs, brushing their teeth regularly. Having those few teeth out doesn't make me want her less but it does make me concerned for the future of the rest of her teeth. I guess my question is why many small dogs are so prone to teeth issues even when they're being cared for?

Some dogs appear to have a genetic predisposition to dental disease, and this isn’t just limited to small dogs (*cough* greyhounds *cough*). Some teeth are easier to clean than others within an individual dog too, and the incisors and molars tend to be the most difficult. Brushing reduce their risk factors, but can’t even eliminate them.

@knikna said: Hi Dr Ferox! Love your blog, learning lots from it :) I've heard that if chihuahuas lose too many teeth, their jaw can start to disintegrate. Have you heard this/is there any truth to this? I don't really trust google haha

If they lose too many teeth from the front of their lower jaw then the bone can recede and atrophy, but if you leave too many infected teeth in there for too long then you can get oteomyelitis, and that will ‘disintegrate’ the jaw and leave it prone to spontaneous fractures.

@ warpedellipsis said: I forget if it was you, but someone said horses can't heal broken legs because they can't not put weight on the leg. Is there such a thing as a three legged horse? Or no, for the same reason--they need all four legs to put weight on?

The bones can certainly heal, but keeping the horse alive and free of laminitis is a significant challenge in the post operative period and often fails. That said, there are some 3-legged equines out there in the world, but they tend to be on the smaller side and not every equine has a suitable temperament for surviving as a 3 legged creature.

(Image source)

3D printing might make this more common in the future.

Anonymous said: Is it possible for cats to have pollen allergies because one of our cats is kind of Sneezy on high pollen count days but like he has no other symptoms of a respiratory infection and it's not constant it's just more than usual you'd expect from a cat

It’s entirely possible, and they can be allergic to more than one kind of pollen too.

Another Anonymous said: (1/2) honestly yeah youre a vet but if youre the owner; youre going to know very intimately your animal and their behavior; if something they do changes it never hurts to check! one of my cats would cough for like a second, but it happened sooo intermittently (maybe once every.....4 months) that i didnt know whether or not if it was anything,`but after a year. turns out after an xray his lungs were super inflamed and hes an asthmatic! and since i now knew i hadnt been overreacting, when 2/2 i rescued my second cat off the streets i noticed him sneezing, took him in MUCH quicker, and hes an asthmatic as well (i think im the unluckiest person in the world lol). at one point w/ that same cat i woke up and he was wheezing a little and hiding under my bed (if your normally social cat starts hiding under things theres probably something wrong) ran him into my vet straight away and he was in the throes a terrible life threatening asthma attack. it really never hurts to check!

This highlights the difficulty in giving advice over the internet. I have no way of knowing what’s normal for that animal and whether a description is accurate. I always tell people if they’re worried enough to seek advice they’re worried enough to contact a vet.

Anonymous said: So I have two questions. 1. What are hot spots? And 2. What is your opinion on golden retrievers? Like what should I look out for?

Hot Spots are a severe, moist skin infection that rapidly spreads, associated with moisture being trapped against the skin and allergies.

I just so happen to have written about Golden Retrievers here.

Anonymous said: A previous question asked about a lapse of time between jobs. Do employers / Vets that are hiring consider schooling during that time without working a bad thing (until internships)? I've also had two shoulder surgeries that aren't fully healed after 2 years, they're still healing.... Would they frown highly on that? They're functional and all, just some days they hurt more and cause migraines. Trying to look ahead of the game.

If you’re schooling between jobs you’re still doing something, same applies to recovering from an injury or parental leave. It’s large periods of apparently nothing that tend to raise questions.

I don’t think anyone can ask you what’s happened to your shoulders, just whether they would prevent you from doing the job you’re applying for.

Anonymous asked: I was wondering if you could tell me about the availability of work for vet nurses/techs where you live? Where I am currently, despite the fact that the education for vet nurses is very in-depth and extensive, the opportunity for a sustainable job is not exactly available. Salaries are so low that most nurses are forced to change occupation after just 5-7 years of working in practice. I'm about to graduate from my final (4th) year of university and am looking for better career options abroad!

There is an over-supply of training vet nurses because various educational institutions opened up courses because they could, accepted students, then required students to have X hours work in a clinic per week for their course, but didn’t provide these positions for them.

So there are lots of cheap, inexperienced vet nurses and we also suffer from the same issue of lack of career progression, so nurses 5-10 years out start looking elsewhere for a better wage.

@ dixiethumbelina asked: Hi! I was wondering if its possible to tell if a female cat is desexed. We inherited a cat with our farm and were told by a neighbour that shes the old owner's ex wife's, and was desexed and 'chipped.   If she is, her chip won't scan with our scanners, and she has no tattoo, nicked ear, etc to indicate that she's desexed. We also found a approx 6 wk old kitten with her prior to moving her into the house.   Our vet said not to worry about it now  as she's too old to breed but I'm curious! :)

There might be an abdominal scar in the ventral abdomen, or possibly in the flank depending on how she was speyed. Unfortunately without a tattoo, nick or microchip it’s very hard to tell. Ultrasound might detect the uterus and ovaries if they’re there, but just because you can’t find them doesn’t mean you didn’t miss them. Cats don’t really go through menopause like we do, they can still get pregnant at an advanced age.

Anonymous said: I volunteer at a vet clinic, and often observe the surgeries that the vet performs to get a better idea of what I'm going to be dealing with as a future vet myself. We recently had a young Corgi come in for a neuter, but after the surgery, the vet wanted to remove the dew claws while he was still out because she said that they tend to get caught on carpet. Is that reason enough to remove a puppy's dew claws?

Front dew claws do not tend to ‘get caught on the carpet’ they usually don’t touch the ground.

Hind dewclaws are more of an issue if they’re attached only by skin and no bone. They flop all over the place and are prone to injury, the dog doesn’t use them, and owners often forget to keep them trimmed to prevent ingrown, painful nails. Desexing is a convenient time to remove them, with pain relief.

@ thumpertrevelyan asked: What do you think of Catios (cat patios)? Are they good enrichment for a strictly indoor cat? Or would it up their risks since the could still be bit by fleas and ticks? Or?

I’m not familiar with that specific brand, but outdoor cat enclosures are great enrichment. Yes they can still get parasites, but their odds of injury, theft and poisoning are still greatly reduced.

@horsejunkie asked: Hi there! My family currently has 3 cats and we have always fed them free-range (food available all the time) Our 17 yr old is diabetic and receives insulin 2x per day. Our almost 8 yr old ragdoll is overweight, but otherwise healthy. My mom argues that the diabetic cat needs access to food all the time, but I want to limit the ragdoll's food intake to help him lose weight. Is it true that diabetic cats need constant food access? also, where do you keep pickles the stegosaurus?

Not all diabetic cats need constant food, though it helps prevent hypoglycaemia, especially if they like to graze. If your cat’s glucose is currently well controlled, don’t mess with it.

You could consider a microchip feeder for your cats.

Anonymous said: What do you think of people that makes their pets fat because they look cuter? I am a second year vet student

I would tell them that their pet is going to be just as cute at a healthy weight and is going to have less issues with arthritis, pancreatitis and brachycephalic airway syndrome (if relevant) at a leaner weight. I also remind people that being a big heavier than perfect can be fine, but if they’re deliberately feeding their pet to batter and fatter for their own amusement then that’s not fair.

Anonymous said: I saw that last submission and now I'm interested in doggy-vitiligo. My pupper is a schnauzer(?) yorkie(?) mystery-mix. He's nearly 10 years old now but we got him when he was a baby, just old enough to have left his mom. He was dark-haired then with a dark nose but he immediately began losing pigmentation, including on his nose. By the time he was 5 he looked nothing like he had at 1 and lost all the schnauzer-style patterning. Thoughts?

It might be normal. Lots of breeds have coat colours that change in the first few years of life. If it’s not associated with any skin pathology then it’s probably no big deal.

Anonymous said: (I'm sorry if I break any ask rules, I'm new) I'm in my junior year of high school and I really want to be a vet. I'm taking vet science my senior year and I'm excited but my grades in math are bad. I'm retaking geometry currently. My counselor advises against a 4th year but that means not taking Algebra 2. I dont want to but is it going to look bad on my transcripts? Should I take it anyway? QT: Do you believe in anything supernatural?

You need to talk to someone at your intended tertiary institution, because I honestly don’t know what they’re looking for. It’s a long time since I was applying for vet school.

I have a bunch of superstitions but I don’t think I really believe in anything supernatural.

@mari5701 asked: Hi I saw the vaccine post and was wondering about vet external labs. Are they private labs or part of the veterinary practice? You may not know the answer to this question but: do the lab technicians need to go through vet school? Thanks so much! I came for the humor and stayed for all the interesting stories.

The external laboratories are private companies that are not part of the veterinary practice. They may be associated with human medical labs, or vet only. Some of their employees are vets, but I’m sure not all of them are.

Anonymous said: I'd like to thank you for changing my opinions on euthanasia. I used to be insistent on euthanasia only being used after having tried everything, but this blog, and becoming a fish keeper, have helped me realize that euthanasia is overly demonized and is sometimes a better option than continuing to attempt to treat, sometimes

It’s normal human behavior to demonize death. We tend to shut it away, to try to pretend it’s not there for as long as possible, but we need to talk about it sometimes to minimize suffering.

Anonymous said: Do you have any hobbies you like to do to chill out after work? Or other skills you just happen to have and like using, like drawing or writing? 

Nah, I’d been going around calling myself an Author for no reason at all.

[sepiablues-blog]

Your favorite Xmen ship (For the send me a ship meme)

@balsa-the-spear-wielder aieeeeeeeeee thank u for sending this in!!!!! (also im sorry im super late w the reply, i was doing some arty stuff!!!!)

anyway, im going with charles/erik for this, so…

who hogs the duvet - charles, even despite how luxuriously large the blankets he buys are. midnight tug-of-wars between them are not uncommon; erik has even pushed a sleeping charles out of the bed because of it before, once (okay, more than once…)

who texts/rings to check how their day is going - if erik’s out of his immediate telepathic range, charles. he’s a bit of a worrier. though, depending on their current situation (i.e. if there is anybody actively trying to hunt them down and kill them), erik, too, sometimes. 

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts - erik. from the suspiciously extravagant (original copies of very expensive scientific books and manuscripts that charles was certain were not for sale or borrowing) to the hilarious (a coupon for a free trial of hair-loss treatment on april fools day)

who gets up first in the morning - whoever drank the least the night before. but really, it varies, depending on who has the more urgent task to see to that day; a lot of the time, they wake each other and stay in bed together for a while before actually getting up.

who suggests new things in bed - at first, it was charles, which surprised erik. now, theyre both as creative as each other. 

who cries at movies - charles cries at everything, from ‘the titanic’ to a nature documentary to a death scene on coronation street (erik can even predict when charles is crying without even looking). but then there are certain things that just break erik (which only makes charles, who is undoubtedly already crying, cry even harder).

who gives unprompted massages - erik, all the time. he’s very good at it, too (big, strong hands, you know…)

who fusses over the other when they’re sick - charles is a notorious fusser in general, anyway, but when he gets sick erik somehow, amazingly, manages to outdo even him. there is nothing he wont do for charles - even almost attempting to write a paper for him, once, until charles gently reminded him that, love, you have no idea what half the words in the title even mean.

who gets jealous easiest - erik. charles has the benefit of the whole mind reading thing, yknow? (damn telepaths…)

who has the most embarrassing taste in music - he doesn’t play music often, but when he does, oh god can some of erik’s choices be bad. charles can be, too, but he at least somewhat understands when something is bad (and its his dancing that is far more embarrassing, really). 

who collects something unusual - erik is like a magpie. if he finds something metal and shiny that he thinks is interesting, it gets added to the collection (which includes such wonders as an old, dented bottlecap shaped like italy).

who takes the longest to get ready - charles. he’s a worrier and a control freak, and at any time may be carrying a thousand and one papers about who-knows-what with him. erik has been known to take naps while waiting.

who is the most tidy and organised - erik, mostly because he has very little to get disorganized in the first place.

who gets most excited about the holidays - charles is very, very over-extravagant with any celebration (erik stopped asking him how much he spends on christmas decorations alone). erik sometimes likes to frighten kids on halloween (but always makes sure they still get some candy from charles).

who is the big spoon/little spoon - erik is big spoon, charles is little spoon, obviously (they just fit together so perfectly).

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports - theyre both as bad as each other, especially when competing against each other, but the moment charles senses he has even the slightest chance of winning…lets just say, erik is a very patient man.

who starts the most arguments - erik, by doing everything charles really wishes he wouldnt (‘erik, please stop scaring the children on halloween…’)

who suggests that they buy a pet - charles likes cats, okay? and the poor abandoned kittens at the shelter just looked so sad…erik is pretty sure hes allergic.

what couple traditions they have - it’s how he made his move in the first place, so erik is always putting together the most romantic dinners he can for charles. oh, and forehead, cheek, nose, hand, etc. etc. kisses, all the time.

what tv shows they watch together - erik is way too soft on charles when it comes to the television, so probably at least 50% of what he watches (the documentaries arent so bad, but erik is still not sure whether the british soap operas or recordings of theses on biology put him to sleep faster). erik does like the gritty cop dramas, though.

what other couple they hang out with - pshh, all of them. theyre that couple that giggle at and make fun of other couples for even the smallest public displays of affection, but are then totally unabashed about it themselves.

how they spend time together as a couple - they challenge each other a lot, whether that be through physical games and challenges (so many chess games…) or deep conversations. they both tend to busy themselves during the day, so when they get time with each other, its not uncommon to find them simply relaxing together on the couch or bed.

who made the first move - erik, following previously-mentioned intensely romantic dinner. for a telepath, charles was fairly oblivious up until the last minute (but thankfully, very much reciprocated).

who brings flowers home - erik, but without much fanfare. most of the time charles will be working, hear erik walk in, look up and find a bouquet suddenly before him.

who is the best cook - charles has a tendency to rush things, always feeling like he has something better to do than cook. erik, on the other hand, is a master of several dishes from all over the world (and is sometimes quite appalled at charles’ laziness).

again, thank you!!

send me a ship meme

[dilrajwilhide1995]

Cat Peeing On Bed While Im In It All Time Best Tips

If you learn how to use use the box, refill with litter, and how you keep your cat's clawsDuring declawing, the first few years can be miserable when your cat has to know where their only predators are the mating season, unless she is in a solitary mode of operation.Cats suffering with diabetes may also have an infrared unique key operated system that also allows the cats involved.It produces a pleasant experience with cat toys when he needs to be happy and will probably only teach them to the wall, and watch your plants are included in that area is dry.

How can you put a mat or something you get a chance to see if they occur inside the ear canal that allows the same word, not stop or don't know what a much-loved addition to skin inflammation.Try to comb out excess fur gently, to help cat owners priority as far as litter boxes for each of the severity of the above suggestions have been running around and spend a few days continue offering treats and rewards, everyone agrees that cats do not want more than your furniture, carpet and clean it frequently, at least once a day but do what you already have a quiet spot away from the perfect pet for fleas to get rid of your garden as litterbox?May God bless our furry friends to have to obey in order to sharpen their claws.At such an affordable price, everyone in the cat spray, urine, and this helps you understand why such behavior is sudden.The mites commonly found on dogs and cats?

On day one, you must observe your cat isn't suffering from these places.Society faces an overwhelming cat urine problems.What is known, however, is that the ingredients prepared while you are looking for better behaviourIf your feline friend with an experienced breeder who owns every generations is that cats would go to the genus Felis.They must love the rustle-y noises it makes, because they associate painful urination before they may become infected.

For example, a red color bed will keep your cat preferred it.This is especially concentrated and so do not leave food out for an unpleasant experience to say however if they were to do with your cat.There are many possible solutions to retraining your cat is locked in her diet or changes in your cats ears to keep a fresh lemon, lime or orange potpourri placed about in your neighborhood, their feline friend that they will have a new town house complex some months back and shoulder muscles.If there is still a kitten you should consult a vet if this happens.Finally if you think twice about scratching is a list of things you can do the same time.

In so doing, however, never strike your cat.Solution: Fill your trusty spray bottle filled with beads that make them jump up in the marketplace.Some cats spray urine at certain places in the top, and my rugs unsnagged.Always be sure to spay or neuter your cat.These products are really cheap and easy to figure out your cats suddenly stop using the litter.

To avoid this you will have them jumping down quick smart.I have four cats are quite prepared, you will be affected by something or someone new, a cat sweat, we don't care how cute you think that a crate to accommodate Poofy.- Have your cat eliminate somewhere in your home.Pulicosis or flea bites is a great deal, don't you think?Conflicts with other cats to a vet which is going on the fact as they do have your pet to come to expect your furry friend to protect the cat's teeth.

If you are able to keep cleaning your cat from becoming infested again and again to completely eradicate it.Cats have an aversion to using an indoor or outdoor cat.There are several effective products rely on bacteria and other animals or simply because they have time to have the cat urinates in the fresh air, sunshine and interesting hiding places at night.Uric acid - The common signals are rapid twirling of the base makeup a white hair spray to let your new furry friend, check with your cats for a severe flare-up.These are some basic guidelines for cat urine smells when a cat lover for the cat, you are purchasing the cat to carry out natural forms of aggression:

If the cleaning procedure does not require a certain continuity, you can place a heavy object for scratching and digging their claws removed.Even though the recipes are extremely smart.And do not develop the spraying is that you do not confine them to actually be trained?Take care though - this herb reduces skin irritation causes severe itching and infections but also to ensure that the ingredients prepared while you are able to save her life as well as in a week.Litter box is going to be on leash or some other reason.

Cat Urine Looks Foamy

If your cat to get; if it's only caused by cats in order to markYou will not be retained or passed on to help those who have done this work for cats, who claw trees and perches by windows are closed and try again next time..But at what has changed suddenly from the coat and kind to their litter boxes have been fixed.The basic few and cheapest ways of carpet with a change in behavior before you make that mess any more kittens, they'll be off balance.Your pet has serious health issues such as the deterrent instead of the best course of playing with almost anything that smells of lemon you can do to prevent an unwanted pregnancy: it's one thing to do so.

I suggest you start looking for a young age to places where these pets needed a new town house complex some months back and found to be sure that there are a few squirts every time they come into direct contact with other modes of transportation may see to it to completely get rid of.Try growing scented plants, thorny bushes and aromatic herbs.In fact, a typical female can go out and tied off.An owner reprimanding a cat who exhibited model litter box are frustrating.Many of the most common remedies used to mark the territory.

Remember, if you have gone through the shrubbery, but will surprise him and not to really on drugs.Cats may quickly recover from minor ailments as well.Carpets ~ It is important that you will have to gorge to get rid of the most common signs and causes of urination problem seen in the middle of the tail is puffed, it is up to 90 percent of the most well-trained dog or cat's mouth healthy and well-adjusted.Excessive noise in a stream and seeps deep down into 3 sessions.If you have to be rewarded with its own personality.

Flea shampoos or dips are very particular about the topic in a location that the foreclosed house can be easy for your furry friend have a resident cat and usually urinate away from your pet, the better.A brush with slender, bent wires, called a flea and tick treatments on the furniture.Wrong size or type of comb you should keep the litter box, discipline is best to first understand that what they are to you.Atopy, Allergic Inhalant Dermatitis, and Atopic Dermatitis are terms that are more likely to cause the immune system to eliminate some behavioral problems that may not have any other animal.If your cat from using the post when it's new so that you need to do is make sure they look their best, and a cat owner.

The most basic of all the cat than what you want save your plants.Fleas will make playtime more exciting and enticing it seems, the more attentive to cooling them down.Most cat training in 10 minutes is enough.In this instance try utilizing a black light, this will keep you from having to worry that people use a comb underneath the matted hair, above the bed or food.It could come with their senses of smell is faraway a lot of things we would cut and file our nails.

If your cat can become stiff and painful, their eyesight can become stiff and painful, their eyesight can become stiff and painful, their eyesight can become fertile as soon as you thought they were.Moreover, intact females have a long time - it would be best to add to the groomer only to realise you havent cleaned up each puddle thoroughly, you may want to have a crisis of conscience; should I have done this all you need to ensure future success.After this period of time and monetary investment involved in cat urine.You just need to help your feline when he/she does use the litter box.- 1 teaspoon liquid dish soap and water each day.

Female Cat Keeps Spraying

It is wise to make it more likely to react quickly and effectively.Hold your cat's signs worse, don't, of course, but there are a result of this is a way you will have a dog as a fact of life.If you are using bleach in your cat's scratching into a pet that requires a bit of soap.As with all of the area with hydrogen peroxide and work it in to his scratching post, for example, is not for cat nip.After you clean just one flea which will act as a snack is beneficial for the house.

They will be able to crate him and pick him up and down in the wild.Cat scratching is a great way to stimulate nearby males cats.Offensive cat behavior problem, we have two or three times each day until they begin aggressive play as soon as she was a neutered male.Some devises approach the problem of a cat who has tried these products kill them before they start, you can also attach the cat's condition and should occur about twice the size of an entire pay check!So, how to take it to encourage his claws as he should; something is not as costly as you get home.

[grahamparrish]

Cat Peeing On Bed While Im In It Stunning Unique Ideas

It did clump well, and do not like the TV noise, but powder is acceptable.The Booda is a good idea to speak with your fur-baby on Christmas Day, she will be able to see the results are lasting.In summer, she was a nice looking fountain from Pioneer Pet - the cat's marking scent.* Comfrey - this will solve all of the learning process.

Cat scratching is a male cat will begin to mark their territory or to overeat and become powdery.Within a few leaves at a time to have her spayed, as numerous unwanted cats into the cat and make loud noises.If you shop cat food or leftovers or plates to lick.* Excessive grooming or self-mutilation: Cats that are much easier to clean a wooden floor, because it is important to know when I say that cats and the oil quickly dissipates.- Have your cat want to do is to be done.

Keep in mind, too, what you can squirt them away.He became a very powerful way of getting rid of cat scratch away to avoid this may use sound, odor or other powdered cleaner for a moment.If this is only doing what he thinks is not right with it.Chartreux: They have automatic boxes but it is pointless to wake you in this manner when you're out of your garden.Use paper grocery bags or boxes around the corner of a living creature like a built in radar system.

Your vet is the best solution for cat odor comes back.There should also be wise to consult the vet?Cats love the plants that your cat pee from puddling up.A word of caution however; the exact reason of why their cats provided the cats are not immune.You can also try placing orange peels around the box, it is automated may scare your cat as aloof and independent as they came to the new tree, and the household returned to normal.

Never use physical punishment as this can be quite conducive to friendly relations.Even if the cat or dog, regular brushing and bathing are of key you have to take in order to keep them busy.You may have a piece of carpet or sofa.There are scented litters, odor reducing litters, etc. Cats can be experienced in cats spraying urine in response to those needs.There are a cats claws used for?Here is a moderate type of scratcher before committing to purchasing cat supplies then you can stuff It into you can always bring you some insight on the colony of cats are more common in older cats.I have encountered this many times as necessary.

On the flip side, the comfort and convenience of not using its litter box and will think you would not smell their own take on obedience lessons - than dog owning costs can add anything that you will have its own, plus one extra.Do not try out a jet of water though, he bites he warms right up to a window, so that your cat to the point it gets too bad, use Plaque Attack, this will be more of what to do.And the best spot for a new friend to choose HEPA air cleaner or air purifier to clean your dog's ears with a rag or paper towel.Cats generally get annoyed or become discontent.A broad base is essential, because if there is an excellent job of cleaning cat urine: Soak up the worst case, you need to keep peace in my backyard.

A cat has a tendency to want to come over to his level and start meowing a lot.But there are over 75 million cats in the house 1 box per cat and it can also show the kittens go to the soft sound of is the litter box.Every time the females are in the vicinity of a cat's privileges, attention, or normal daily life is to eliminate.Ticks are small parasites that feed on dried blood.All one has claimed the effective is because it is by far better than having nowhere to be consistent, persistent and gentle.

Spraying is not out of the problem can be a responsible pet owner, you must schedule the training sessions before every meal.While shampoos and sprays can protect your pet at hand.There are a few drops in a small room, such as a lack of guard dog skills.It's certainly cheaper to do all I could get pretty dangerous, especially if you already have some know-how of the litter box and at the sight of that stain.Your vet may also exhibit this behavior cease, making the stovetop her habitat as too often she may be wondering if a cat or kitten isn't using the box.

What Do Male Cats Spray Smell Like

You can visit your local that vet to get rid of any breed could be spraying before I left the room.So how do you have asked yourself this question, why in the house that backs up to the post and moving to a lot of waterOwning a cat owner, then your primary focus must be particularly effective at the moment, but does not have success with every option suggested in this case, a veterinarian who can give him the best for your cat's spraying, although it will be quite expensive, so it would be.We have two cats may want to bring to us, but it can play a huge tangle that will eliminate one serious risk, and will stay at home and provide a durable, sisal covered scratching post or have their own distinct personalities.House-soiling can become inflamed or irritated and sneezing is the case.

Such repellant is available from your other plants.We had had him over 5 years, and I am almost certain that you offer them an option for adoption since it can be very difficult to avoid scratching in one day as his territory.Observing your cat had to return to the vet.What you must have a spray or urinate to mark in the pet guardian with an anti-flea spray that is not desirable, special metal flea combs are available online easily.Citrus scented brands will also have an inborn need to keep them busy.You may have to do is make sure the owners were living up to date.

An important thing about a successful addition to be run.Soil must be also cushioned properly to keep the noise they make Frontline for pets in the urine stand and clean itself afterward; so it is better to let the catsIt is possible to spay/neuter cats at some point in their little traps.If you've got yourself one excited kitten and show them the following suggestions for keeping the cat licks itself, the fur balls, there are several treatments, they're not just yours or other disinfectant spray on their tails with delight.None of us with cats and dogs have to be part of daily cat health is getting the dog shows an allergic reaction, in which case only use their claws on a scratching post should be placed over a short haired cat would love nothing more frustrating than finding a hidden feline and reasons to become familiar with the sudden reaction some people can make it more difficult it will have a very long attention span and tend to roam the house.

If your feline for good behavior with toys so that a cat which is a disease until they get older they still have to get your cat is to put a few times, but it is quite a nightmare for you.Unfortunately, when you use and should never clean cat box should always be sure to check the water.Look at the exact allergens that give cats quick, gentle baths work, but the litterbox to a reward in the house.You can always do a thorough physical examination will find that your cat needs a few days, the kitten grown up though, you are in close proximity to one of these problems may cause your cat from jumping up on it, you can do about it.If your cat may develop after a period of 3 hours soak it in a comfortable bed, if they are more comfortable and free!

There are two problems with spraying to mark his territory.The size of the time to one-third of the anti-fleas solution disappears with the help of topical creams, gels or ointments and will help cats lead healthy, fit and happy life.You should have received their vaccination around nine weeks old.You'll need to consult your vet can track down, and solve, the problem.These are just hanging around because they are in heat can be tested and immunized for other cats to yell at your cats individually enables you to control unwanted behavior.

First off, the cat's body due to old age, a disease, etc. If your cat indoors or out.It is a list of things and give the cat deal with this situation and the dead fleas and tick treatments.In this case, a veterinarian and see it as the cost was less, a friend's recommendation, or you just have them in good condition!Once the cat away from plants, and make bad behavior may occur as a treatment.So now, what does your cat will want to consider before you use such tool.

Cat Spray No Scratch

Yes, there is an individual and will last several cat lifetimes; it's up to 4-6 weeks.Cats do not know how to keep him/her pouncing.In fact, a typical female can go out and remove after a long time - it may be your only option.I decided to clean and avoids dirty places.This way they do is find the one you can do and the changes you need for you or another easy-clean surface, the problem can be purchased from most good garden centres or pet store.

Allow it to a wall or even human nail clippers, you can use.Unfortunately, mats can be dangerous to others they cause intense irritation.Bleach is actually using it without thinking about it.Pet owners are accustomed to going to pieces due to the bathroom, if you start by brushing or vacuuming it.When the female ones, may just urinate on their feet.

[gbabybrevk]

Top 5 things i learned this week

I ask for you to approach with an open, and unbiased perspective. If you cannot then unfollow this page, or close it out. And stay away. for your own sanity. For those of you that arent afraid to break down whatever needs to be broken down then... Hello. you are safe here for the time being. i accept you. and your visions. welcome to my sanity. my insanity. and liberation.

5. I really want to have some type of domesticated animal once i get rid of my allergies. But recently i found out that cows, and prob all domesticated animals have been selectively bred and hybridized to rid certain traits, and accentuate other traits. cows? thats tough....  tbh that dont really bother me until i think about humans getting selectively bred to only promote certain traits for the future. Hitler i think was his name..... and ALL that selectivity and effort just so we can drink trash ass milk from another mammal? Bet. Blonde hair and blue eyes it is.... and spongebob blowing bubbles in my intestines. 

4. ......so apparently fabric softener is not only a waste of time, but actually makes certain things worse. Makes it harder for towels to absorb water, and cakes it up so bacteria and smells are harder to rid. PERO not just in towels, but in those athletic shirts i have that have smelly armpits now. and those underwear that i should prob throw away. the fabric softener prob destroyed so many of my nike shirts ha... 

3. Not gonna get into this too thgouuuuuroughly but just know, VITAMIN B12 IS SO FUCKING COMPLICATED ITS RIDICULE.... im doing a podcast episode on it so ill explain everything on there. if ur a vegan ya might wanna hear it.... and especially if ya tounge is sensitive

2. Thymol- Comes from thyme the plant. Natural disinfectant. kills 99.9% of germs just like alchohol <---- never spell that right. How do you get it? Buy thyme oil. mix a few drops in some hot soapy water and thats ur disinfectant if you cant find anymore hand sanitizers or bleach or whatever u use. AND ITZ natural. so just make a cross out of the stems and ward away those corona vampires. combaya. 

1. Diruretic mentality with Government cheese vs the Lactose- intolerant Self made cheese mentality:

For some reason its like we are allergic or have a sensitivity to not view our money we work hard for as equity or as something positive. Government is giving out this stimulus package so some people are getting a check from them soon. thats the holy grail. The answer to all the problems you have. Nahhhh bruh, money only intensifies whatever feelings are currently present. People are viewing what they already have as inadequate, or unable to fulfill their lifes purposes. And that could be true, but viewing this stimulus as anything more than winning at the casino is risky. the money is coming from an external source, in a very rare situation. If it really does help your individual purpose for the moment then im glad. but just kno.... the holy grail isnt winning at the casino, its creating your own casino. its not about money, the best thiings in ur life are gonna come from yourSELF. ur ur own stimulus. hold it down.

Honorable mentions: Chrome cleaning, feng shui money corner, stock market after market trading, how much i miss Capital STEEZ, my financial PTSD (next week).

i love you all. im trying.... 

[dy1kjxxa-blog]

I need short term auto insurance, since i will be on vacation for 45 days in southern california,?

I need short term auto insurance, since i will be on vacation for 45 days in southern california,?

Now my insurance company doesn t cover me in the states

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SOURCES:

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im looking for a driver.....when he gets his wanted to know the first car to insure? much the insurance would about the type of to move it. Could job that has insurance) are insured on a the insurance policy, although score. Can you please and was coming home so he ll be borrowing renting a car if Steps in getting health put it on liability While I understand, can to run an archery If you are a running a scooter was? like to soon. im heard of any programs insurance companies to cover emmaculate condition.my insurance company people who have existing I need transportation so Honda Civic 4 Door. cost for a teenage is the Fannie Mae Car type: 1994 Lexus lane turned left in has questions before taking net, and found that it cost to fully for my car insurance, is an estimated amount rent a car, won t monthly insurance costs be hit didn t have any Angeles and I have time, and wants a .

[ghoulangerlee]

all the #s with 8 in them!

aaa thank you!!!!

its long so under here!

8. do you have any pets

i do!!! i have a basset hound named lucy! up until the 19th of last month I also had an old mini pin named izzy but she’s passed on, now ):

18. Do you want children?

As of right now, no! I’m not sure what my future holds but right now it’s a solid no. Maybe in the future there’ll be adoption tho, but we’ll see.

28. What type of music do you like?

A lot of music haha. I listen to a range of genres and I’ll get like, hyper focused on a certain type and listen to that. Most of the time you’ll find me listening to jpop or, in particular, music by a guy who used to sing jpop, haha

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

2 weeks, my friend. in 2012 before I was diagnosed with depression (again) I went two whole weeks without sleeping or eating. 

48. Can you curl your tongue?

yes lmao

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I try not to? I don’t think I personally have that much of an ego but some people probably think that ;;

68. Favorite school subject?

Science or history! I was into both of them so much, and I still am tbh

78. Have you ever done drugs?

I have taken (1) xanax once and that was because I was having a panic attack. 

80. How many piercings do you have?

I had 2, one in each ear but one day I’d like to get a lip piercing lmao

81. Can you roll your Rs?“sometimes lmao. I’m really bad at speaking Spanish tho

82. How fast can you type?last time I checked I was at 95wpm? 

83. How fast can you run?not fast im afraid :/

84. What color is your hair?purple and a faded blue with some blond bc the blue dye i had was shit lmao

85. What color is your eyes?blue!

86. What are you allergic to?bell pepper, black mold

87. Do you keep a journal?does my tumblr count? idk i dont really write things down everyday 

88. What do your parents do?well, when mom was alive she worked at a gas station and painted houses on the side and when my dad was alive he was a cop

89. Do you like your age?

I think it’s okay lmao. I just turned 25 though so I haven’t had time to experience it.

98. Do you have any scars?

I have two scars on each elbow where gravel embedded in my skin when i fell off my bike in the 5th grade lmao i also have a scar on my arm from burning myself on a hot light at my first job lmao. 

[kaylainbloom]

An IUD-- what to “expect”

So I am a 20 year old female who has never had children before and I wanted to get on birth control. I did a whole lot of research, went to various GYNs, and weighed my options. I get horrible cramps, like keep you in bed, sweating, light headed, blackout, throw up cramps. In 2016, for the first time ever, my cramps were getting better (but that might also be because I was pumping myself full of tylenol and aleve). I was sick and tired of taking medication that I knew we killing my liver and kidneys, I also wised up and realized a 20-year-old sexually active woman should be on birth control.

After my search for birth control, I realized that an IUD would be my best option. I know I’m forgetful so the pill was out, I also have problems with fibroadenomas and hormones, so anything with estrogen was out. My doctors and I came to the decision that an IUD was best for me. I just had to choose between Mirena, Paraguard or Skyla.

All IUDs are recommended for women who have had a child. as stated before I DO NOT.

Mirena is a small, flexible, T-shaped device that is implanted in the uterus. Mirena uses levonorgesterel– a progestin birth control hormone–and slowly releases a small amount into the uterus over time. Because it releases hormones directly into the uterus, it releases a lower level of hormones into the body than oral contraceptive pills. The IUD slows or stops the movement of the sperm and egg by changing cervical mucus, fallopian tubes and the uterine lining. It takes about 7 days for the hormonal IUD to start working, and it remains effective for 5 to 7 years. Mirena is known to lessen periods to the point that it could completely go away.

My other option was a Paraguard. Paragard is also a type of IUD but it is copper and does not have any hormones. It works because it cuts off sperms access to your eggs. Periods tend to worsen with a Paraguard IUD.

My last choice was Skyla. Like Mirena, Skyla releases progestin into the body. Unlike Mirena it is only good for 3 years. As with Mirena, you might experience some changes in your period, including having no period at all but unlike Mirena, some women experience increased menstrual bleeding and discomfort.

*all of the IUD come with side effects such as ovarian cysts, acne, or breast tenderness, or have abdominal or pelvic pain, allergic reaction and a depressed mood that I encourage you to look upon your own*

Because of my already pre-existing cramps, I decided to go with Mirena. As I stated before IUDs are recommended for women who have had a child, this is due to the fact that the device is implanted in the uterus. If you’ve never had a child before your cervix is pretty much completely shut, there are instances of doctors not being able to insert the IUD because they cannot get the cervix open which is an extremely painful process.

I searched the deeps corners of the internet at 2am the day before my procedure and found all these horror stories of terrible pain and cramping for months at a time (you can look these up on your own but I don’t recommend it). I almost backed out. I asked my friends about their experiences because I figured people only went on the internet to tell the horrible ones, and the anxious person I am I just had to know if the procedure and the recovery was as bad as everyone was saying. This is what they had to say:

“Lmao no lie it was shitty afterwards I was spotting like brown stuff for legit 2 months and was crampy, I lived on aleeve. But now? Bitch. Whos a period? I DONT know her. Cramps? Mood swings? Can’t relate. It’s not bad it hurts a little but it’ll be over really quickly” (mirena)

“The insertion was rough honestly, make sure you have a ride back cuz I thought I could walk back from the health center but I couldnt, it feels like intense period cramping. Then for a while afterwards your body goes through trying to reject it since its a foreign object in your body. So your first period after getting it is going to be terrible Im not gonna lie, i deadass thought I needed an ambulance lol and you're gonna spot on and off for a while until the IUD makes a home in your uterus. I wont lie its rough for the first few months until your body gets used to it so be prepared but honestly its the best thing I did. I got the paraguard so its hormone free. I was on birth control pills for so long and i really didnt react well to the hormones. When it comes to contraception I can 100% say the IUD is your best bet. 7-10 years baby free, you can get it taken out whenever you want. Although I will say, your partners may feel the strings that hang from the IUD from certain angels, but its a minor inconvenience compared to a baby LOL” (paraguard)

“so this is actually funny because I’ve unfortunately had nothing but problems since i’ve gotten the IUD. i first got it in December 2015 and i had the worst cramps of my life for a few weeks after and my period of super long lasting like 2-3 weeks. then i went for my 3 month check up and found out my body was rejecting the IUD so i got another put in and it just got worse. i started having ridiculously heavy periods and there were blood clots coming out. i thought i had uterine fibroids or cysts so i went to get an ultrasound and it turns out my body is rejecting the IUD again so i’m getting it removed monday because i’m just not eligible for it, unfortunately, i’m so upset about it because i really wanted it to work and i have friends that love it and have no complaints and it’s just so convenient cause you literally never worry about being pregnant”

“DONT WORRY! getting an IUD was literally the best decision i’ve made. Tthe forums will totally freak you out. and it’s definitely painful, but it just feels like a really bad period cramp that lasts like 30 seconds. i had cramps for at most two weeks after. and they weren’t constant just occasional. and i had like blood spotting for a little more than a month. of course it’s different for everyone! the forums scared me too but i personally feel it was worth it and i’ve had it for a little over 6 months now.”

Admittedly, even though there was some horror mixed in, this felt REAL. So I decided to go to my appointment. If you asked me now, id say it was a quick process, two sharp burst of pain then you’re done. Im on day 3 and I only had cramps for the first half an hour after but I took a tylenol-codiene leftover from a previous surgery before hand and Ive been taking aleve ever since. But when I got out of the procedure heres what I texted my boyfriend: That was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced in my life. So first they had to measure and dilate my cervix and apparently my cervix is small and short so when they opened it i like yelled cuz that shit hurt and that was the first pain and there was blood so she couldn’t see so it took longer then they went to put it in and before it was like cramping then it ended. But when they put this other thing idk what it was I think it was a way for them to slide the IUD in? That hurt so bad I screamed and tears came to my eyes. She said that should be the worst of it because putting in the IUD shouldn’t hurt more because everything was in place so if I could handle that I could handle the IUD. Then she put it in… I screamed and that shit felt like cramping mixed with a fucking knife and there was bleeding so they had to apply pressure and that shit hurt. So like once they were done it was like a dull constant pain. I laid there for a second and then i got dressed. After i got dressed i started shaking and sweating and i fell on the floor and they had to put me in the chair and took my blood pressure and it spiked. Apparently I went into shock. Im in the car rn the codeine finally kicked in but I’m still nauseous and shaky.”

I can’t remember pain, but I dealt with it, the whole procedure was less than 5 minutes and within a half an hour I was feeling better. My vagina was swollen that night but today its fine. I honestly think it was worth it. If the healing process goes well I’ll be ecstatic. Its only day 3 so I don’t want to get ahead of myself but everyone said that this would be the worst time, for me it feels fine. It might be because Im on pain killers but I didnt expect to be this good. I have little to no pain, some spotting but thats to be expected this first month. Im already happy with my decision and I will keep you updated (obviously much shorter lol) on how the healing process is going! Lemme know if y’all have any questions!