#do not. Make me face my inner turmoil as an artist. i WILL cry. Aside from that this song goes so hard

[romaritimeharbor]

how i feel when i listen to writing on the wall tbh

[wickedgamesfanfic]

Chapter 5

Shani

We pulled into a gated community just off the highway. I dared to keep my eyes on the road afraid to look into his face after what he had just done to me. I hadn't came so heard since ... well never. At least not by the touch of a man.

My tough girl act was long gone. Replaced by something a little softer and a hell of a lot more vulnerable.

"Pull up just here." He said.

I nodded my head and pulled the car up to a small guard post. We were soon greeted by a pretty petite blonde girl who seemed very unfitting for the job.

She eyed me questionably. Before realizing Michael was seated next to me. She smiled widely. "What's up Mikey?" She asked leaning over into the drivers side window. She gazed into the back seat and a look of disappointment showed on her face. "Where's Darwin?" She whined.

I looked over to him as if to say 'what the fuck was it to her?'. He placed his hand on my knee and softly pressed his nails into my skin. I instantly lost the attitude I was attempting to catch and simply found myself leaning back into the seat.

I even made it a point to smile at the bitch. She returned the gesture. And I thought to myself that she was pretty but no where near as pretty as my best friend.

"Jessica DND tonight." He said firmly. "No exceptions."

She nodded her head in the affirmative and softly stepped away from the car. I couldn't help but notice he had a similar effect on me. And wondered if he naturally had this effect on all women.

The gate parted and I removed my foot from the brake allowing us to slowly pull down the street. My eyes bulged as I took in each exquisite home. These homes were nicer than the ones we had just left. Reminding me that he was a rich celebrity and that I was attempting to play ball in another league.

"Last one on the right." He said breaking me away from my thoughts. My eyes bulged. It was by far the biggest home of them all. It even contained a large piece of land that was gated all itself.

I pulled into the circular driveway and placed the car in park before removing the key from the ignition and dangling it for him to take. All the while managing to keep my eyes on the steering wheel. I had lost all my sass. I was nervous as shit and afraid of what more he could do to me once alone in his home. Instead of taking the keys from my hand he took my hand into his. Placing it on his lap.

"Are you okay?" His tone was soft and concerned. I loosened up a bit. Reassuringly nodding my head yes. I attempted to reach for the door handle. "Ah Ah!" He said quickly exiting the car. Leaving me confused as he made his way around to my door. He opened the door with a goofy grin on his face before extending his hand to help me out. I cocked my head to the side as if to say 'Really' before placing my hand in his.

"I could have gotten that ya know."

"You could have. But you don't have to when I'm around. Consider me if nothing else you're official door opener." He joked wrapping his arm around mine. I giggled at his goofiness but managed to blush at the thought of him being around longer than tonight.

"Opening doors is cool. I mean it's sweet of you. Probably impresses a lot of the girls you meet. I can hear them now. Oh that Michael B Jordan is such a gentleman. Opening doors, pulling out chairs. Girl hold my panties." I joked attempting to mimic one of his previous bimbo conquest as we made our way up the steps.

"You caught me." He said holding his free hand in the air. "My father always said If you want to get in her pants. You gots to be a gentleman. He said Son if you want her to be yours ... then make sure to get them doors. And let's not forget my favorite. If you want them to show you theirs. All you gots to do is pull out chairs."

I just stared at him a moment longer than necessary before bursting into laughter. He was so lame. And cute. I couldn't even take my next step. I wrapped my hand across my stomach as the muscles tensed causing me to double over. He threw his head back and let out a hardy chuckle. I held my hand up and placed one finger in the air. I needed a minute to contain myself. I was one of those people who got into fits of laughter and found it hard to stop.

"Your father sounds like an interesting man."

"The most interesting man in the world." He small smiled reaching for my hand once more.

"I'll have to meet him one day." I giggled placing my hand in his. He pulled me up a few stairs nodding his head in agreement. I stepped closer into his side gazing over into his face as he fought to hold in laughter of his own.

He dug into his pocket before placing his key into the door. He placed his hand on the door knob and I placed mine on his. "So how many doors do you think it'll take for you to get in my pants?" I asked playfully out of curiosity.

"That depends." He said turning into me. My eyes once again fell on his chest. I watched it rise and fall for a moment.

"On what?" I asked finally allowing our eyes to reconnect. His stare was intense. I felt myself shrinking beneath it.

"On when we started counting."  He placed his palm against my cheek. Softly rubbing the tip of his thumb against my bottom lip.

"Now." I whispered.

"Well in that case ..." he turned and opened the door.  "One."

****

He gave me a brief tour of his home and it was just as beautiful on the inside as I had imagined. He claimed to have decorated it himself and I appreciated his artistic approach. The man had good taste. It was a far cry from the man cave style most men seemed to encompass. It showed he had a very unique style.

The last stop on the tour was of course his bedroom. It was large and covered in notebooks and novels. "You do a lot of reading." I stated somewhat surprised. And mildly impressed.

"Avidly." He admitted attempting to straighten up a bit. I noticed my favorite book in his hands and grabbed his shoulder before he could put it down.

"You've read that?" I asked taking it from his hands.

"Yes ... multiple times. Have you?"

I ran my fingers over the finely worn pages. "This is my favorite book. Butterscotch Blues." I nodded my head before smiling. "It was the first book I ever read that made me cry. It's largely part of the reason I even pursued writing as a career." He seemed surprised by my admission.

"You're a writer? That's dope. I write a little bit myself." He said nodding his head at the pile of notebooks on his nightstand.

I walked over to it and attempted to pick one up. "Don't open that!" He yelled but not aggressively. I pouted as he attempted to take it from my hands.

"No fair." I huffed. He softened a bit but didn't exactly loosen his grip on the notebook.  "I let you in." I gazed into his eyes and he took a step further into me. He looked as if he wanted to say something slick but thought better of it. He released the notebook and I quickly opened it. I read over a couple of pages as he stood just behind me rocking nervously. I closed it and turned into him. His face read of uncertainty and doubt. And probably for the first time tonight I acknowledged him as just a person and not some spoiled celebrity. "This is good. Like really good." I admitted.

"You really think so?" I nodded my head yes. The way his smile covered his face let me know he was genuinely cared about his work. "So do you feel misunderstood?" I asked referring to the passage I had just read from the untitled work. It was deeply emotional and expressed the characters struggle with the inner turmoil of maintaining her image and yet maintain her truth. 

"What made you ask that?" His brow rose as his eyes searched mine for answers. 

"Harper." I admitted referring to the character's name. 

"It's just a story." He shrugged walking over to his closet and slipping his shoes off. 

"That it is." I admitted taking his que. My feet had been barking in these wedges for a minute now. I sat on the edge of his bed and unbuckled them before slipping them off and neatly placing them aside. "But all stories hide a bit of our truths." I said rubbing one of my sore feet. I hadn't heard him walk back over so him taking a seat next to me caused me to jump slightly. 

I looked over into him and he held his hands out signaling for me to place my feet into his lap. I smiled still finding more qualities about him that made me regret initially deeming him a Hollywood snob. He took my feet into his hands and began to softly massage them. His touch was sensual and gentle. I closed my eyes for a moment. Wondering to myself why this man was so talented with his hands. 

"Sometimes I do..." I opened my eyes and realized his face now read of uncertainty. He looked over into me and I matched his stare urging him to continue. "I love what I do but sometimes it doesn't allow me to walk in my truth. I get judged off not only the things I say but even the things I don't." He admitted. I nodded my head in understanding realizing I myself had judged him in the same manner. A wave of guilt washed over me.  "Shits tough. But in a way it motivated me to give writing a try. I have to watch what I say but Harper. She doesn't. She's not even real. At least not physically. But her emotions are." I smiled realizing we shared something in common. "What inspires you?" He asked catching me off guard. I fought to find the right answer but there wasn't one.

"Everything." I admitted. He smiled so I smiled. He released my feet and I softly placed them on the carpet. "I know that sounds bleak but it's my truth." I admitted. 

"An interaction I had with a waiter on a lunch break inspires me. Listening to the radio and hearing a new song for the first time inspires me. Going to a party and meeting this really cool guy who I was unapologetically rude to at first but he wouldn't give up... inspires me." He laughed at that last bit. I took his hand and led him to his balcony. He didn't resist as I pulled him out and over to the railing. "The stars inspire me." 

I looked off into the sky and he did the same. Surprisingly the area he lived in was just dark enough to see quite a few. Not as many as the ocean view we had just left but still charming in its own way. "Sometimes I find myself too inspired. It's like I have too many ideas in my head at once. Too many voices... too many stories that need to be told. I literally have to blast music when I'm writing just to drown some of them out. The loudest one always wins." I stopped talking and turned into him. He grinned and seemed as if he could listen to me talk all day. I blushed before allowing my head to fall in embarrassment. I was telling him things I hadn't ever told anyone else and couldn't understand why. "So what inspires you?" I asked attempting to take some of the heat off of myself. 

He placed his hands on the sides of my neck. "You." He whispered before softly pulling me into a kiss. 

He pulled me into him and I stood on my tip toes in a weak attempt to keep up with him. Now that my wedges were off the inches I lacked in height to him were very clear. He noticed and removed his hands from my neck quickly placing them on my ass and throwing me into the air. I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist as he turned to take me back into his bedroom. 

He softly took a seat as our kiss intensified. I could feel his fingers softly digging into my back as I cupped his face and continued to wrap my tongue around his. He found my zipper and slowly pulled it down. He broke our kiss so that he could pull my romper down onto my waist. The way he stared at my breast and then at the little pug my belly made when in sitting position had me feeling a little self conscious. I placed my arms around myself only to have him swiftly pull them away. "What are you doing?" He asked searching my face for answers. I didn't know what to say so I said nothing. "You're perfect." He whispered placing soft kiss onto my chest before  taking each of my nipples into his mouth and tugging at them. 

I placed my hands around his head as he began to kiss and suck on the sides of my tummy. The way he was gripping my ass as his member grew beneath my had my box mimicking the Clipse Grinding beat. I wanted to feel him deep inside me. I needed to. I found his belt buckle and struggled to unbuckle it. We were so tangled up in each other at this point even the simplest movements seemed impossible.

"Well... well... well...What do we have here?" A familiar voice quizzed. I quickly threw my arm across my chest as both our heads whipped around in the direction from which it came. 

"Lydia what the fuck?" He yelled as I rolled off of him and attempted to pull my romper back up. My mind was racing as I scrambled to find my shoes. 

"Now when you told me you wanted to fuck the bitch you neglected to mention you'd be doing so in our home." She growled. 'Who the fuck was she calling a bitch?' was my initial reaction causing me to stand to my feet all the while neglecting to even attempt to place my other shoe on. Wait ... did she say our house. 

"You told me this was your house." I forced through clenched teeth. 

"It is!" He yelled looking back and fourth between us both. 

"Well how did she get in?" I growled becoming more and more frustrated with the scene unfolding in front of me. 

"I don't know!" He squealed in a convincing tone. His focus was on me now. I looked into his eyes and wondered if there was any truth in his admission. 

Lydia held up a key that quickly caught my attention. "So She has a key to 'your' house?" I asked quickly becoming enraged. 

"No! Of course not!" He lied to my face and I realized his acting skills were far better than I had ever realized. I simply nodded in the direction of which she stood dangling a key between her nubby fingers. 

"Bitch you have a key to my house?" He feigned ignorance. She smiled and I decided I had seen enough.   

I stomped past her struggling to keep my balance seeing as how I only wore one shoe. I was livid and needed nothing more than to get the hell away from all this madness. I could hear them exchange a few words and then him running up behind me. I stopped in my tracks and turned to him. He opened his mouth to speak but I quickly cut him off. "Give me your keys!" I demanded. He seemed confused as to what the fuck I was talking about. He attempted to speak once more but the pain he soon felt from me digging my nails into his balls quickly took his breath away. "Give me your keys!" I yelled before swiftly twisting his future children in my palm. He quickly dug into his pocket and handed me the keys to his car. 

I snatched them from his fingers before gathering my things from the stand near his door. I jogged down the steps and quickly hopped into his car. Pulling off into the night. Wondering how I had allowed myself to get caught up in this Hollyweird ass bullshit.