#do not fall for her lies you can eat frozen pizza cold as ice cream

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Vriska: We as a society need to do something a8out the fact that frozen pizza doesn't taste good

Kanaya: You're Supposed To Heat It Up First

[tarnishedhalo]

Get To Know the Muse: Andrew Riley

Favorite things.

season: Summer. The heat of the sun on my bones, the lack of ball-shrinking cold that eats into said bones and grinds them under ice-teeth. It’s beer, ball-game, and bikini weather. You can cook outdoors and everything smells like coconut oil and peaches. Sun’s up from about 0600 to about 2200. I really enjoy taking two weeks off and charter up to the Vineyard, staying at the summer house. Take the boat out to Devil’s Bridge and go fishing for stripped bass and squid, black sea bas and fluke, deep jigging with diamond jigs. I don’t feel trolling or bouncing live eels is very sporting.

pie: Unpatriotic as it might sound, I love deep dish cherry with the crumb top. Paired with a homemade vanilla bean ice cream. fruit:  I like peaches. The soft blushed curve, the crisp bite, the way it runs juicy out of your mouth. Fresh picked off the tree. I like guava too, passion fruit but don’t tell my sister. She’ll gloat. ice cream flavor: It’d be a toss up between English Tea Time which is black tea-infused vanilla with bits of shortbread in it, or maybe Cardamom black pepper, in a ginger-citrus base. I prefer cone to cup, and I’m not the kind that needs sprinkles, whipped cream, and stuff like that. Best cooking dip whether it’s dessert or dinner is to keep it simple. breakfast food: I’ve always tried to make sure Beth got a decent breakfast, things like pancakes and waffles, eggs and hash browns, fresh fruit. The chow in the Air Force tended to reinforce that because out of all the branches, it was the best. So when our schedules mix, that’s what we have. And when I’ve got work, then it’s a pot of coffee, a couple antacid tabs, and maybe one of them eggy muffin things with the hockey puck ‘egg’, bacon and cheese. alcoholic drink: Macallan 25 neat, three fingers.  soda flavor: Can’t go wrong with Coke, right? scent: Like personally? I love the smell of gun oil and leather, engine grease and summer grass with a hint of whiskey. As a cologne? something crisp or woodsy. On a woman? Depending on her skin chemistry something like Ed Hardy’s For Women, Azzaro’s Wanted Girl, or Tresor. Okay I really like Tresor. Like press my face into the curve her neck or her décolletage and breathe it in without trying to lick at...…anyway.  flowers: I like sunflowers, dandelions, daisies. But like that’s not really my area of expertise. When I put a bouquet together for someone, I consider her likes, her personality and go from there. animal: Dogs are cool movie: Tombstone tv show: I don’t really watch TV but that Brooklyn 99 thing is pretty funny.  book: How Much for Just the Planet by John M. Ford which was a hilarious Star Trek novel, if I am interested in something light. Or Neal Stephenson’s Anathem. What? I read. fairy tale: The Steadfast Tin Soldier and the Ballerina. genre of music: I like the blues, and classic rock. But I just like music in general. genre of movies: Westerns genre of books:  Scifi

Pick one.

hot or cold: Hot juice or soda: Soda tv or movie: Movie movie or book: Book late night talk shows or reality tv: Uh. Neither. {Talk shows, the trashier the better} twitter or Instagram: Instagram trees or flowers: Trees philosophy or psychology: Psychology ocean or lake: Lake water park or amusement park: Amusement Park {Particularly Coney Island back in the day} cats or dogs: Dogs fresh water or sparkling water: Tonic Water sugar or honey: Sugar cookies or candy: Cookies bath or shower: Bath morning or night: Night running or walking: Running piercings or tattoos: Tats frozen yogurt or ice cream: Ice cream vanilla or chocolate: Vanilla caramel or butterscotch: Caramel art or music: …Music t-shirt or button down: Either, depends on the occasion. text or call: Text ghosts or aliens: Aliens

Have they ever.

ridden a motorcycle: Yes, own one stolen something: I mean I think this is a very morally grey area. eaten an entire pizza by themselves: Who hasn’t? made a prank call: Absolutely broken a bone: Oh look, it’s a funny bitch.  fallen asleep during a concert or movie: Yes walked out of a movie because it was so bad: Yes been on the phone with someone for longer than 2 hours: On the Regular. dined & dashed: Wow, people do that? No. held a gun: For longer than I care to think about. Carrying two now, in fact. ding dong ditched: Yes gone skinny dipping: Yes cried during a movie: Fun fact, I have never cried in my entire life. smuggled food into a movie: Unfortunately. My sister is incredibly picky. lied to get a job: No practiced lines in front of a mirror: No.  tried to see how many marshmallows they can stuff in their mouth at once: who hasn’t. The record so far is 23 of the jumbo ones. been kicked out of somewhere: Yes been on a blind date: Yes. ghosted someone: No comment bragged about something they haven’t done: No said i love you without meaning it: No gotten in a fight: ~laughs~ fallen asleep on a bus: I’m a soldier. I can fall asleep anywhere, any time, ever.

Miscellaneous.

how do they take their tea or coffee: Strong, black, two sugars, and if possible, a shot or two of whiskey in it. what is their ideal date: Depends on who I’m taking out, you know? But just for myself? A rented out Michelin star restaurant, followed by an evening at a blues or jazz club. Maybe a little dancing, or alternatively, going somewhere we can look out over the city lights and talk. followed by coffee and dessert or a night cap, and then I would escort my date home. Because I’m a fucking gentleman. what are some of their guilty pleasures: Oh honey, if you feel guilty about it, it ain’t a pleasure. longest they’ve stayed up for: 78 Hours. Mission Classified. greatest talent: That’s classified. strange habits: Taking my leg off at night and having to use crutches or belly crawl? Let my sister sleep in bed with me? People say we’re codependent. can they do a handstand: If ordered to.

can they cook: I’m a beast in the kitchen, on a grill, or behind a bar. do they have allergies: Bullshit maybe, but otherwise, no. do they believe in love in first sight: No. have any special talents: I can field strip an M4 Carbine or an M9 in under 45 seconds to a minute. I can hold my breath for seven minutes. And before the Accident, I could literally fly.

stolen from: my dash stolen by: you

[thevalicemultiverse]

Get To Know the Muse(s) -- Alice & Victor

season:  Alice -- early spring; Victor -- late spring

color:  Alice -- blue and red; Victor -- blue

pie:  Alice -- strawberry; Victor -- apple

fruit:  Alice -- strawberries; Victor -- apples

ice cream flavor:  Alice --  strawberry, chocolate, Neapolitan; Victor -- chocolate, Rocky Road, Cookies & Cream

breakfast food:  Alice --  pancakes with syrup; Victor -- French toast and hard-boiled eggs

alcoholic drink: Alice -- Nothing; Victor -- Nothing (neither of them drink)

soda flavor:  Alice --  Dr. Pepper; Victor -- root beer

scent:  Alice -- Floral scents, catnip; Victor -- Tree scents, dog smells

flowers:  Alice -- Roses, lilies; Victor -- daffodils, bluebells

animal:  Alice -- cats, rabbits; Victor -- dogs, butterflies

movie:  Alice -- The Truman Show (I think she’d find the main character relatable, and the whole movie fascinating); Victor -- Ghostbusters (a fun sci-fi/fantasy about busting ghosts! He also likes the sequel and the reboot)

tv show:  Alice -- QI (it’s a show about weird facts and suchlike; right up her alley); Victor -- Castlevania on Netflix (I have personally not seen it, but I’ve heard good things, and it’s about vampires and kick-ass lady magic users and going up against evil -- he’d probably enjoy it)

book: For modern verses, anyway: Alice -- Monstrous Regiment from the Discworld series (she likes and relates to the main cast a lot); Victor -- Dragonsong from the Dragonriders of Pern series (he’s always wanted a pet dragon, and he relates to Menolly more than he thinks he should)

fairy tale: Alice -- Cinderella (she has a whole new appreciation for what the title character went through after Houndsditch -- also the mental image of Bumby getting his eyes pecked out by birds in the appropriate versions); Victor -- Snow White (he can’t help but feel a kinship with the princess who shares his color scheme -- plus he’s sometimes wondered if running off to a house of dwarves in the woods wouldn’t be better for him than his home life)

genre of music:  Alice -- “moody” songs (like with heavy bass beats, dark lyrics, stuff like that), but she’s also fond of parodies; Victor -- classical (especially piano numbers), big musical numbers

genre of movies:  Alice -- fantasy, comedy; Victor -- sci-fi, fantasy

genre of books:  Alice -- fantasy, mystery; Victor -- fantasy, horror

Pick one.

hot or cold: Both prefer hot

juice or soda: Alice prefers juice; Victor is more likely to get a soda

tv or movie: Both would pick movie 

movie or book: Both would pick book

late night talk shows or reality tv: I don’t think they’d like either, but if there was nothing else on, I think they’d pick reality TV -- might be more interesting, should provide plenty of opportunities to mock the television

twitter or instagram: I think both would prefer Instagram; Twitter would provide too many opportunities to annoy them

trees or flowers: Alice prefers flowers; Victor prefers trees

philosophy or psychology: Both are more into philosophy (Alice in particular doesn’t like psychology for what I hope are obvious reasons)

ocean or lake: Both are more familiar with lakes, at least in the real world; the Deluded Depths are fun in Wonderland, though!

water park or amusement park: I think they’d both prefer an amusement park, though one with water rides would be a good compromise

cats or dogs: Alice is a cat person; Victor is a dog person

fresh water or sparkling water: Both prefer fresh water

sugar or honey: In tea, I assume? I’d say both prefer sugar, though they both will eat honey

cookies or candy: Both prefer cookies (though Victor will definitely not say no to candy)

bath or shower: Alice prefers showers; Victor likes baths (even if he’s too long for most bathtubs!)

morning or night: Both tend toward night (even in verses where one of them doesn’t have to be nocturnal)

running or walking: Both like walking (particularly together); both tend to end up running from something at some point. XD

piercings or tattoos: Eh, I can’t see either of them getting either. . .but if it came down to it, I could see both going for a tattoo over piercings.

frozen yogurt or ice cream: Both prefer ice cream, but this doesn’t mean they won’t eat frozen yogurt

vanilla or chocolate: Both prefer chocolate

caramel or butterscotch: Both like caramel

art or music: Alice falls on the art side; Victor falls on the music one (though he’s also an accomplished artist, and Alice likes his music a lot)

t-shirt or button down: Alice is more likely to wear a plain t-shirt; Victor prefers a button-down

text or call: I think both prefer text -- less pressure that way, and Victor in particular finds it easier when he can do a draft or two of what he wants to say

ghosts or aliens: Both prefer ghosts (and are more likely to encounter them everywhere except my Sims game)

Have they ever.

ridden a motorcycle: Depends on the verse, but I’ve stated in the past I like the idea of Secundus!Alice getting her own steampunk motorcycle and roaring through the streets with a mildly-terrified Victor XD Most of the time, though, neither of them have.

stolen something: Again, verse-dependent -- most of the time, I’d say no for both, but the Catch Us!pair probably steal things from their victims, and just for survival purposes, while Londerland Bloodlines!Alice will occasionally pick up “vendor trash” to sell to Fat Larry. (Not so much once she starts getting money from more legit sources, though.)

eaten an entire pizza by themselves: Alice, probably not. Victor, yes. XD (Though it was over an entire night)

made a prank call: I can’t see either of them being the type, so no.

broken a bone: Somehow, neither of them have. Victor is as shocked as anyone about this. (Though he has sprained his ankle.)

fallen asleep during a concert or movie: A concert? Not to both? A movie? Not in theaters, but I can see them maybe falling asleep watching a super-late movie one night at home. (Cute mental image, actually.)

walked out of a movie because it was so bad: I personally think they’d stick it out to give it the MST3K/Rifftrax treatment (quietly) unless it properly offended them. So neither has done so yet, but it’s a possibility.

been on the phone with someone for longer than 2 hours: No, if only because I can’t think of any situation where they would have to be.

dined & dashed: Traditional form? No, neither. But Londerland Bloodlines!Alice has occasionally had to just grab a convenient person to drink from when she was low on blood. Sort of counts?

held a gun: This is verse-dependent -- the vast majority, no. But I’m sure the Catch Us pair have used guns on occasion (if their victim has one to wrestle away, anyway), and Londerland Bloodlines!Alice learned how to shoot to protect herself on the mean streets of L.A.

ding dong ditched: I can’t see either doing this -- except maybe Catch Us!pair, or Londerland Bloodlines!Alice, as some sort of distraction while they do something else. (LB!Alice is a master of Obfuscate, after all. . .)

gone skinny dipping: Nooope for both. Nope no never.

cried during a movie: Yes, though Alice generally hides it a bit better than Victor. She’ll only openly cry if she’s alone, or with people she trusts (generally Victor, add in Victoria, Emily, Lizzie, Bonejangles/Sam, Richard, and Christopher depending on verse).

smuggled food into a movie: Alice would, Victor wouldn’t -- but only because Victor can consistently afford concession prices. And to be honest, he’d probably help Alice smuggle in food if she asked.

lied to get a job: No -- if only because neither of them has ever had to (Victor of course comes from super-rich stock, and Alice generally either has a job given to her/forced on her, or picks something she knows she can get without lying)

practiced lines in front of a mirror: Victor has, for when he has to be Social with his parents -- it doesn’t usually help much, as his anxiety gives no shits about how much he practices. I can’t think of a situation for Alice to do so, but maybe if she needs to rehearse something difficult to say sometime. . .

tried to see how many marshmallows they can stuff in their mouth at once: Not as of this writing, but somehow I think they might at some point XD

been kicked out of somewhere: Yes, though for different reasons -- Alice because she was making a scene while stuck in Wonderland; Victor because his parents were making a scene and he was “collateral damage.” Oh, and I guess Victor was essentially kicked out of Burtonsville in both Forgotten Vows and Secundus. . .and then decided he never wanted to go back anyway

been on a blind date: Does a blind arranged marriage count? Actually, in more modern verses, the two sets of parents WOULD set the kids up on a date without introducing them first, so -- yeah, I guess Victor has. Alice, no. 

ghosted someone: No -- unless you count Alice disappearing from Houndsditch as such in the “Catch Us If You Can” verse. Victor’s probably been ghosted once or twice by women who didn’t wish to continue their acquaintance. Not a pleasant experience.

bragged about something they haven’t done: Victor, no. Alice. . .edge case, as she’ll brag about stuff she’s done in Wonderland, not the real world. Which, considering the stuff she can pull off in Wonderland, I say -- let the woman brag.

said i love you without meaning it: No, neither. Alice only says it when she means it, and Victor has meant it every time he’s said it.

gotten in a fight: Yes to both, though how often depends on the verse. 

fallen asleep on a bus: I can’t see either of them doing it, if only because I don’t think either would ever feel comfortable enough to fall asleep. Too many people and not exactly plush seats are not conducive to rest.

Miscellaneous.

how do they take their tea or coffee:  Alice takes her tea with a couple of spoonfuls of sugar and a quick dash of milk; Victor puts so much sugar and milk into his it can barely be called “tea”

what is their ideal date: Depends on the verse, but a few favorites are going to the park on a picnic (Forgotten Vows and Secundus); either going dancing or staying at home for a private dance party (Cuddlepile); and going to the movies (Londerland Bloodlines). I’d also like for at least one skating date to happen in some verse. XD

what are some of their guilty pleasures: Alice has probably read and enjoyed some romance novels -- it’s a guilty pleasure in the sense of “Lizzie would probably never forgive me for reading these.” XD Victor, depending on the verse, has penny dreadfuls or comic books, which his mother disapproves of but he reads on the sly. He particularly enjoys superheroes and horror stories.

longest they’ve stayed up for: This would be dependent on verse, but I’m sure that both of them have stayed up at least one entire day for some reason at some point

greatest talent: For Victor, it’s definitely his piano skills -- he’s got a nice well of natural ability, and he’s put in the practice to get really good at it. For Alice, it’s storytelling -- she knows how to weave a good yarn, helped a lot by that active imagination of hers!

strange habits: Less “strange” and more “informed by her past trauma,” Alice tends to triple-check every fireplace in her current home to make sure it’s out before going to bed. Yes, it was deliberate arson that took down her family home, but she still gets antsy over leaving flame attended. She also tends to rock on her heels when in deep thought. Victor of course has his tie-pulling and general fidgeting when he’s nervous -- I can’t think of anything off the top of my head that he might have that is stranger.

first job: Alice’s would be her stint at Bumby’s -- she was maid and dogsbody in exchange for her keep and a smidgen of salary. Victor -- well, does helping his father do the books at his fish business count?

can they do a handstand: Alice probably could if she practiced enough, though I don’t know how long she could hold it. Victor could only do it against a wall, and even then he’d probably tip over after a couple of seconds.

can they cook: Yes -- they both have a baseline of “I can make a couple of edible items,” and improve from there. Victor in particular grows to like baking.

do they have allergies: Alice does not, but Victor is allergic to artichokes. Nothing life-threatening, fortunately, but it does result in an itchy rash all over his face and neck if he eats them.

do they believe in love in first sight: Alice never did -- Victor is willing to believe at least in attraction at first sight, thanks to his experiences with Victoria and Emily. He’s not sure about true love, though.

have any special talents: Well, I already mentioned playing piano for Victor, and storytelling for Alice. They’re also both quite good artists! Alice works in pencil, while Victor works in quill pen and ink. Victor is also a MASTER at climbing, thanks to finding that going vertical often helped him get away from his bullies growing up. And I’m sure Alice’s way with sarcastic comments must count too. :p

Tagged by: @hamelinbound

Tagging: Taken me long enough that I’m sure most people I would have tagged have been tagged. Take this as a general “if you want to do it, feel free!”