#do not believe him when he thinks nobody else does either

[pfaugh]

From "They Thought They Were Free" by Milton Mayer (1966)

A chemical engineer by profession, he was a man of whom, before I knew him, I had been told, “He is one of those rare birds among Germans—a European.” One day, when we had become very friendly, I said to him, “Tell me now—how was the world lost?”

“That,” he said, “is easy to tell, much easier than you may suppose. The world was lost one day in 1935, here in Germany. It was I who lost it, and I will tell you how.

“I was employed in a defense plant (a war plant, of course, but they were always called defense plants). That was the year of the National Defense Law, the law of ‘total conscription.’ Under the law I was required to take the oath of fidelity. I said I would not; I opposed it in conscience. I was given twenty-four hours to ‘think it over.’ In those twenty-four hours I lost the world.”

“Yes?” I said.

“You see, refusal would have meant the loss of my job, of course, not prison or anything like that. (Later on, the penalty was worse, but this was only 1935.) But losing my job would have meant that I could not get another. Wherever I went I should be asked why I left the job I had, and, when I said why, I should certainly have been refused employment. Nobody would hire a ‘Bolshevik.’ Of course I was not a Bolshevik, but you understand what I mean.”

“Yes,” I said.

“I tried not to think of myself or my family. We might have got out of the country, in any case, and I could have got a job in industry or education somewhere else.

“What I tried to think of was the people to whom I might be of some help later on, if things got worse (as I believed they would). I had a wide friendship in scientific and academic circles, including many Jews, and ‘Aryans,’ too, who might be in trouble. If I took the oath and held my job, I might be of help, somehow, as things went on. If I refused to take the oath, I would certainly be useless to my friends, even if I remained in the country. I myself would be in their situation.

“The next day, after ‘thinking it over,’ I said I would take the oath with the mental reservation that, by the words with which the oath began, ‘Ich schwöre bei Gott, I swear by God,’ I understood that no human being and no government had the right to override my conscience. My mental reservations did not interest the official who administered the oath. He said, ‘Do you take the oath?’ and I took it. That day the world was lost, and it was I who lost it”

That feels like a good, self-contained thing. But if I haven't lost you yet, there's some more afterwards that I think is about as relevant.

“Do I understand,” I said, “that you think that you should not have taken the oath?”

“Yes.”

“But,” I said, “you did save many lives later on. You were of greater use to your friends than you ever dreamed you might be.” (My friend’s apartment was, until his arrest and imprisonment in 1943, a hideout for fugitives.

...

“Of course I must explain. First of all, there is the problem of the lesser evil. Taking the oath was not so evil as being unable to help my friends later on would have been. But the evil of the oath was certain and immediate, and the helping of my friends was in the future and therefore uncertain. I had to commit a positive evil, there and then, in the hope of a possible good later on. The good outweighed the evil; but the good was only a hope, the evil a fact.”

“But,” I said, “the hope was realized. You were able to help your friends.”

“Yes,” he said, “but you must concede that the hope might not have been realized—either for reasons beyond my control or because I became afraid later on or even because I was afraid all the time and was simply fooling myself when I took the oath in the first place.

...

Shall we say, just to be safe, that three million innocent people were killed all together?”

I nodded.

“And how many innocent lives would you like to say I saved?”

“You would know better than I,” I said.

“Well,” said he, “perhaps five, or ten, one doesn’t know. But shall we say a hundred, or a thousand, just to be safe?”

I nodded.

“And it would be better to have saved all three million, instead of only a hundred, or a thousand?” “Of course.” “There, then, is my point. If I had refused to take the oath of fidelity, I would have saved all three million.”

..

“I don’t understand.”

“You are an American,” he said again, smiling. “I will explain. There I was, in 1935, a perfect example of the kind of person who, with all his advantages in birth, in education, and in position, rules (or might easily rule) in any country. If I had refused to take the oath in 1935, it would have meant that thousands and thousands like me, all over Germany, were refusing to take it. Their refusal would have heartened millions. Thus the regime would have been overthrown, or, indeed, would never have come to power in the first place. The fact that I was not prepared to resist, in 1935, meant that all the thousands, hundreds of thousands, like me in Germany were also unprepared, and each one of these hundreds of thousands was, like me, a man of great influence or of great potential influence. Thus the world was lost.”

[plusvanity]

Thanks to your blog — that I discovered randomly — I got sucked into the whole Mayhem lore. 🥲 I got the general order and gist of the things (especially around the whole mythos that people build over the years) but there is one thing that I can't stop thinking and it just bothers me.

So, we all already know that Varg and Øystein start as friends, good ones at that. Varg admires Øystein meanwhile Øystein thinks they share the same vision music wise, they burn churches together, he defends him from the press (and generally TO ME, it seems like it was Ø doing the heavy lifting and all the work in this friendship but whatever) and so on; until Varg's opinion of him shifted all of a sudden: Øystein became full of flaws, or only flaws at that point, and the tension arises. Many people spoke about how they were kind of fighting for dominance of the BM scene, but really, how much is this a factoid? Yeah Varg can brag alllll he wants about how Øystein was jealous because he was becoming more popular, but to me it's more that Ø was just annoyed by his behaviour, he did not feel threatened of being 'dethroned'; it reads like a fantasy of Varg (that besides, came out of nowhere and all of a sudden in the scene meanwhile Øystein was already a well established personality). I also do not really agree on the stance that Øystein was a megalomaniac, but I'll put that aside.

Varg at a certain point says that he 'listened to a call' where Ø was talking about how he wanted (and would) kill him. Is this even true or pulled out from his ass to justify himself? I only found one source that mentions briefly that he THOUGHT about 'getting to him first' but A) he never really wanted that nor was violent and B) it was a private conversation that got out after his death, and I'm referring to Mortiis.

Either way, it does seem that Øystein was a bit preoccupied when it came to Varg. He wanted him out and most importantly, far from himself. There is also what I'll label as a rumor that Ø was agitated after hearing that one clairvoyant (sprinkle of salt). So why would he EVER open the door to him that night? It certainly was weird and he knew that Varg was dangerous, hence why, among other things, he wanted to put him in jail. And even Varg admits that Øystein was clearly uncomfortable seeing him. Would Varg have killed him even if Øystein never opened that damn door (oh, how I wish!), or would his impulsive anger cool down?

Varg and Øystein started as friends because Varg was looking up to Øystein. I have no doubt that Varg was putting up a mark at first to seem more likeable, to get closer to Øystein and eventually become relevant in the Black Metal scene since back then he was a nobody and Øystein was a well-established personality between their friends. As time progressed, Varg's admiration turned into jealousy and envy since he was an undisclosed egomaniac and wanted to have what his 'mentor' had. Their fight for dominance is not a rumor. It is a fact that led to Øystein's tragic end.

No one can blame Øystein for getting sick of Varg's bullshit and giving him the taste of his own medicine by talking badly about Varg's on his back. I believe their animosity was going back and forth because I think I'm one of the few people who believe that Øystein had a bit of an ego too, because after all he was leading a brand new music scene and he was entitled to his position. I don't necessarily think there is something bad about this because after all he was the one (together with Pelle) who built their own, unique style. Whether he really felt threatened by Vikernes or not, we can't tell for sure.

Varg will use everything in his side of the story to make people believe that he was right all along in what he did and not only that, but he even 'did the right thing' by his delusional, egoistic and envious standards, so, my suggestion is to believe anybody else but Varg. You cannot tell what is real and what is fiction, including the call that he pretends he heard. I would say (with indulgence) that 90% of what he states is pulled straight of his ass. He is a nothing but a pathological liar and that's it.

I believe that Øystein was, to a certain extent, having the thought of Varg doing 'something' against, but when all they ever did was throwing empty threats, how could Øystein be sure that this time Varg means business? He wanted Varg out of his life, that's for certain. Vikernes' actions cause him bad publicity and his shop, Helvete, to close.

Why Øystein opened the door that night, I can only speculate the most plausible answer. It was 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning and he woke up from his sleep, too tired to realize how late it must've been, and answering the door came as an automatic reflex. He didn't know who was waiting on the other side and he was surprised to see Varg there. In retrospect, Øystein would've had the chance to put up a better fight if he wasn't taken by surprise like this, but after all, Varg had a knife on him and this was the surprise element that, if you don't have an equalizer, you've already lost the fight unfortunately.

Varg must've been a madman to drive 5-6 hours in the middle of the night from Bergen to Oslo to kill. I don't think that not having that door open, you would just shrug and be like 'Well, that's it, folks. I'm going home'. No, he would've find a way to get in. It's the adrenaline that brought you there that won't allow you to leave even if you would somehow realize that what you do is gonna cost you a lot of trouble. The impulse is too strong, you can't just walk away simply.

I also wish Øystein never opened that door, but I guess we all wish that.

[bo0zey]

being the oldest daughter raised by a narcissistic emotionally abusive father is just…👩‍🍳👌💋

[gay-dorito-dust]

Whew you came in time. I’d like to request Wolverine (from the Deadpool movie in particular) with a very caring and affectionate s/o. Once again, my weakness for grumpy/traumatized individual x sunshine shows

Logan oftentimes wondered why you, someone so kindhearted and willing to do anything just to see someone smile, stayed by his side especially after everything he’s done.

He didn’t believe himself to be that great of a partner either when it counted but you’d always shone him that beautiful smile of yours and told him that he was anything but a bad partner. Oh how he too wishes he could accept that as the definitive truth but given how he had lead his life up until meeting you, Logan couldn’t help but think otherwise.

He had lost the ability to trust a long time ago and would instead double down on an inherited belief that he didn’t need nobody but himself, assuming that he was meant to walk this life a lone wolf he believed himself to be. Unfortunately for Logan he was a human as everybody else and humans more often then not craved connection, relationships and so on with other human beings.

Logan was no exception to this rule, no matter how often he thinks he’s not, but has forced himself to the point where he physically couldn’t stay within the presence of someone the moment he starts to deeply care for them. He couldn’t bear to be the reason someone else dies, regardless whether his part was intentional or unintentional.

So when you came into his life like a shining beacon, a second chance, everything within him told him to run away and maintain distance so that his bad luck doesn’t rub off on you and causes to to be sent to an easy grave. However you were rather stubborn for someone so soft and sweet that no matter what Logan did to put distance between the two of you, you were quick to close the distance with a knowing look within your eyes as you placed a hand on his shoulder.

‘It’s okay.’ You tell him. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

‘Don’t promise something you don’t intend to uphold.’ He replies as he then shrugs off your hand and walks elsewhere. He wasn’t going to make it easy for you, that you were aware and were willing to anything to make him see that you weren’t lying, but what you weren’t aware was how easily you had slipped past Logan’s guard much to his dismay and that made him scared.

He had already lost Scott, jean, ororo, beast and many more due to his actions, the wounds were too fresh to be ignored as their screams of his name haunted his dreams as they did his waking life. He didn’t want to add your name amongst the seemingly never ending graveyard that was his loved ones, past, present and future. And yet he couldn’t help but find himself wanting to do everything in his power to make sure you were safe and protected.

His body was torn in two directions on how to go about you, leave you alone until you see that he wasn’t any good for you, or stay by your side and make sure that no harm ever does come to touch you. ever.

You were there during every turbulent moment of his life, watched him tear things apart and show the ugliest side of himself in hopes it would scare you away, but all you did was step over the dead bodies and hold his face in your hands as your thumbs wiped the blood from his cheeks.

‘Are you okay? You’re not hurt?’ You’d ask and Logan would always be left a little speechless because how can you still see the good in him after seeing firsthand what he could do when tested. He was confused at how you could still smile at him so sweetly while clearing him of blood that wasn’t his, he didn’t understand what he did to deserve you.

For all Logan knew was that he was cursed and shouldn’t be allowed a happy existence but yet life sent him the sweetest, most kind and honest person in the form of you as what? Repentance for all the shit he’s been through? Like he’d ever believe life would ever give him a fucking break when all it’s ever done but take everything away from him, even when he was doing okay for himself.

He saved lives but the ones closest to him were taken away, and even when he does take lives the people closest to him still suffer regardless. So what was Logan meant to take away from that other than the fact that he was doomed for the very moment he could heal a gun wound as though it were a scratch.

However overtime and a fuckton of patience on your behalf and soon enough Logan was more reciprocal of your affection and care, even going so far as to give you his own affection in his own unique way that wasn’t grunts and unconvincing reassurance of his own well being. He had grown a soft spot for you but he didn’t care, he loved your soft heart and the sweet sounds you made whenever he felt a little flirtatious then normal.

You were slowly healing the wounds that his regenerative powers could not and Logan couldn’t help but be thankful that you didn’t give up on him, nor leave him alone when you probably should’ve but wouldn’t because you didn’t want him to be alone anymore.

He isn’t one for pda, the most Logan would do was sling an arm over your shoulder, keep you close by his side with his arm on your waist as he glared at anyone who was tempted to take his little sunshine from him.

You described him as moody, temperamental, stubborn, a pain in the ass and then called him a grey storm cloud on a sunny day. Many would say that they were all negative things but you’d then reply with ‘yet they all look good on him.’ Because it was true. They did look good on him and you weren’t about to express pride in the good you see in him without acknowledging that he was a man of many flaws and scars. You wanted to show that your love for Logan was genuine and real, show him that you weren’t excepting him to be the perfect man with the life he’s lived, and you hoped that he could see that he meant everything to you.

And he did see because you meant everything to him in return, he’d tear everything apart with his bare hands if anything were to ever happen to you and he wasn’t nearby to stop it. He was like an unstoppable force to be reckoned with that he wouldn’t even acknowledge the bullet wounds nor the blood, not until you cup his face once more in your hands and wipe away the blood on his cheeks like you have plenty of times before.

‘You sure are a mucky pup Logan.’ You’d say lightheartedly as though he didn’t just tear apart an entire facility for you.

‘How you aren’t fazed by this I’ll never know.’ He replied but was relived to see that you were unharmed before pulling you into his arms, where he held you tightly to his chest just to breath you in while you cling to him in return, happy to see him as you felt safe and sound in his arms again.

‘Well when your lumberjack of a partner is the temperamental type, it kinda comes with the territory to expect him to come home a little bloody.’ You told him as you burrowed your head into his neck and closed your eyes, only to squeal in surprise when Logan pinched your side. ‘For someone who’s sweet and gentle, you sure are a sneaky shit aren’t you?’ Logan said as he felt you silently giggle but couldn’t help but smile himself as he presses a kiss to your head. Happy to have been given a second shot a life, a happier shot and with you no less.

[komoboko]

𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠

ft: kokushibo tsugikuni, douma, akaza soyama, sekido, karaku, urogi, aizetsu, nakime daki, gyutaro, and kaigaku

i need to start writing more cus this is doodoo i think im gonna open request for once

LEAST JEALOUS

# douma ! ☆

DOUMA can't feel anything meaning he can't really feel jealousy at all.. So there really wasn't anything he would even do or know what to do if he could even feel jealousy. Even if he could he's rather confident in himself with his status of an uppermoon and as a cult leader along with his members. Douma also has confidence in you and trust your eyes are set on him only.

# nakime ! ☆

NAKIME is another who I couldn't see feeling much jealousy at all. She puts all her trust into you and believes you have prestine loyalty to her as she does to you! She doesn't believe the presence of another would ever disturb your relationship with each other, she trust you too much to even have a reaction.

# kokushibo ! ☆

KOKUSHIBO is always one to have confidence in your loyalty, as its something he doesn't take lightly. The commitment you have towards each other is something he values and doesn't believe it can be altered so easily.He also has confidence in himself strength and status wise. He doesn't believe somebody human nor demon could ever disturb the two of you, most usually fear him to much to disturb you anyways.. which he's more than happy about.

# urogi! ☆

Due to him being a clone built on one single emotion its harder for any other emotions to surpass UROGI'S happiness. Even then he doesn't think somebody else would get in the way of you two. You bring him even more happiness than he already has and he does the same for you! Even if he did get jealous, he'd swoop you away before he could properly fall into those feelings

# karaku ! ☆

KARAKU is overconfident when it comes to his self and his romantic abilties, his emotion is pleasure and he's sure he brings you pleasure by just being around him. On occasions he might feel slight irritation but like his bird brother he'd step in and press a kiss onto your lips before dragging you away so you can entertain him. Which is really spending more time together. Besides he flirts with you so much he doubts you would fall for anybody else's flirtatious schemes.

# akaza ! ☆

One of AKAZA'S main motivators is to do better, be stronger and surpass those ahead of him. This motivation can come out as jealousy. He has skills when it comes to romance but he can have his moments where he believes he can do better when it comes to you. Its easier to get under his skin even then he won't really say anything. He'll stay silent about it until he feels like it's time to step in, which happens much more often than he says it does. Though once he feels your hand wrap around his and you flash him with a smile, he's much more at ease

# aizetsu ! ☆

AIZETSU can only really weep and feel sadness so his jealousy might come out more as insecurity. He'll sit in silence moping about whoever's approaching you and you'll have to be the one to notice his jealousy. Once you turn to give him attention and press a soft kiss on his cheeks he'll get a little happier, even shoot you a soft smile after being reassured you love only him.

# daki ! ☆

DAKI gets jealous of a lot of people. Due to where she works at there's many people who come in to observe and stare which most definitely gets on her nerves. She gives many people dirty looks before locking arms with you and immediately taking you somewhere away from their gaze. You'll have to make it up to her by giving her a whole days worth of going on dates and spending time with her. Then she'll be over the annoyance of a customer.

# gyutaro ! ☆

Jealousy runs in the family and GYUTARO most definitely got the most of it. He for one still feels insecure about his apperance and doesn't think he's worthy for you but he also thinks nobody else is worthy of you either. He's definitely mad that he usually can step in and steal you away on the spot but once the two of you are alone he makes sure you're glued to his side and doesn't let you go until he feels reassured that you still love him.

# kaigaku ! ☆

KAIGAKU for the most part just hates people and is annoyed by the majority of people who surround them. Meaning anybody who surrounds you are getting the dirtiest looks and the entitled and annoyed attitude from him. Due to how cocky he is he doesn't believe anybody who approaches you should get off scout free and immediately confronts them. Depending on the situation they usually run away or leave with a few bruises, in return you have to spend time with him and reprimand him for what he's doing.

# sekido ! ☆

Unsurprisingly SEKIDO definitely is the worst. He normally only feels rage and can easily get jealous by the smallest of things. He's immediately reacting and taking whatever or whoever's making him jealous out of the premise at once. After he's going to be much angrier for the whole day. He demands you "fix his mood "which really means peppering his face with kisses and being by his side for the rest of the day

MOST JEALOUS

[slytherinboysvip]

Controlling Tom Riddle

Honestly idk what to classify this as, but it’s kinda like idk.. deranged? maybe not but I have more like this up my sleeve if it does well (TW: manipulation, unspoken gaslighting, extremely controlling, idk what else to add)

You loved Tom. You truly, truly did. But he tended to take the term "I just want to lock you up" a little too seriously.

I mean, it wasn’t much at first, barely even noticeable in fact. Simple things such as suggesting what you should wear, insisting the more modest options were much more flattering on you; “It brings out your eyes, doll.”

He would remind you of your favorite foods, and when to and when not to eat them.. “Not now, it’s far too late for late night snacks. However, I have something I think might suffice for you.”

Overtime the helpful things became him controlling everything you wore, no shirts were allowed to be low enough cut for anyone to see down- tall people included. You wanted to comfortably wear your uniform? Absolutely not. It had to be perfect, and to show just how much of a “good girl” you are for him, you get cute bows in your hair every morning; special spell from him.

His behavior didn’t bother you, how could it? Yes you couldn’t wear certain things, but everything you got in return was amazing. Nobody understands him the way you do, they don’t know him like you do. That’s what you’re constantly telling your friends. “You don’t know him like I do. He’s romantic.”

Romance? It really is funny how blurry the lines get between romance and control, dress up per se? Once again with the dressing you- believe me, he spoils your beyond belief. Though, most of it is “My eyes only.” Slowly your closet went from things you’ve gotten from friends, shirts you once loved, to everything Tom approved.

It didn’t matter though, because he still spoils you.

Being in class was an entirely different story. In the beginning you simply couldn’t speak to any other guys, you understood, not wanting him interacting with girls either it seemed fair. Until you couldn’t sit with any of them, problem being, its not like you can just chose where you sit everytime. That doesn’t matter to Tom though, “You seemed to betray me today hun.” Nice name, yet the tone anything but.

It was pretty sudden when Tom just happened to to become your seating partner in every single class, and yes, that somehow included ones he once hadn’t attended. But this was a good thing. You got to be with your boyfriend all day long, that’s so exciting. Watching your every move, telling you what you did wrong on your work “Can’t have a dumb girl, can I doll?”

It was sweet. He was being helpful, you always had help. Just don’t ask for too much, then that makes you stupid, idiotic, dense. That’s according to him though, and yes his words. “Honestly, I don’t know what you’d do without me, you’re just so mindless most of the time. It’s infuriating”

But no matter what it’s always okay because, “You know I never mean what I say, Love. I’ll take you out, even buy you something new”

You see, none of this happened quickly. It was like one moment you controlled your life, the next moment you didn’t. You lived in his dorm, once again don’t ask how, Tom Riddle has his ways. He chose your outfits the days no uniforms were needed, but of course only because “I just love picking out what my girl wears, you love it too, don’t you, hm?”

Now here you are, unable to speak to anyone really, no boys, no friends because well, they only attract unwanted male attention of course. It was crazy to think you’d leave your friends behind for a boy, not just your friends really more like your entire old life, but Tom wasn’t just any boy. No, he had full control over you and you both knew it. You loved it.

I know im saying idk a lot but idk how i feel about this 😭😭

once again i hope you all enjoy <33

[callme-holly]

Heyy I was wondering if you could do the outsider gang head cannons (seperate) with a female s/o who’s very affectionate? Like they are always trying to hold their hand, kiss them, hug them, etc. in public. But in private it’s worse and they’re like on top of them 24/7. Thank you!!

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐬/𝐨

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - two posts in one day is insane for me wth. so sorry for how slow i've been y'all but my requests are open once more.

DARRY CURTIS:

In public, Darry isn’t the most affectionate

He’s got no problem holding your hand whilst the two of you are walking together, or letting you hold onto his arm, but he isn’t one for being openly touchy with you

In front of the gang, he’ll ease up a little

He’ll give you the occasional kiss, maybe let you sit in his lap if the two of you are at home, but expect a lot of teasing from the boys

He will never push you away or reject your affection, but he will try to tame it a little

If you’re both out and you’re getting just a little too clingy, he will wrap an arm around you to try and keep you somewhat satisfied

In private, you can be as clingy as you want

He will accept any hugs, kisses, you name it 

If he’s working on bills, come and sit in his lap, as long as you dont distract him you can be as clingy as you want 

SODAPOP CURTIS:

Whether you in public or in private, Soda will accept any sort of affection from you

He’s very clingy himself, so to have someone who matches the same energy as him is both a relief and a nightmare for everyone else

You two are sickeningly sweet around each other

In public, expect hugs from behind, random kisses like he has no shame

He will always be holding your hand and lacing your fingers together 

He does not care who you’re around, he will let you hang off him whenever you want and he will not complain once

In private, its even worse

I’m talking, laying on top of each other on the couch, sitting in his lap, either of you holding the other whilst talking to someone 

The other boys have probably learnt to come to terms with your affection, but you will never hear a single complaint from Sodapop 

PONYBOY CURTIS:

I think, for Pony, it really depends on his mood

I can’t see him wanting a whole lot of affection in public, mainly because he believes he has to act tough around the others

He’ll hold your hand, let you lean into his side, but he gets a little embarrassed with anything more than that

That’s not to say he doesn’t like your affection – he loves it! But he’d rather you save it for when you’re alone together

In front of the gang, much like Darry, he might relax a little more 

He’ll give you a quick kiss when nobody is looking, will sit with you and let you cuddle into him a little but if the gang start teasing y’all he’s shifting a little 

In private, he’s a lot more relaxed

He’ll let you lie your head in his lap whilst he reads, he’ll let you play with his hair, give him little kisses etc

He has no problem with your affection, but he’s a lot more relaxed in private

JOHNNY CADE:

Honestly, I can see Johnny reciprocvating your affection in public to an extent

While he’s a lot more mellow than the other boys, he still likes to seem a little tough

This means he’ll probably stick to small hugs, lacing your fingers together, little kisses, etc

I wouldn’t say he gets embarrassed when someone points it out

Around the gang, he’s more comfortable, so he’ll lean against you, let you cling to him as much as you want, but he cherishes the moments when it’s just you two

In private is when he really eases up

He feels safe around you, and because he gets hardly any physical affection from anyone else, he relies on you as a source

Hug him, kiss him, hold him, whatever you want, he won’t complain

Sometimes he gets a little overwhelmed, but he never gets annoyed with you

DALLAS WINSTON:

In public, physical affection for Dallas is very different to how you’d show it

Any soft touches, he will shrug off

He’s perfectly happy to keep an arm wrapped around you and to have you pressed into his side – it’s a good way to show you off and to let everyone know you’re his

Any kisses y’all share in public are either rough or nonexistent

He has a reputation to uphold and he will not be caught dead giving any sort of tender affection

Around the gang, he might relax a little, but he’s still pretty tough

He’ll let you hang off of him, as long as you don’t smother him

He might trace little patterns on your arms or the small of your back if you’re stood together

He can get quite handsy sometimes 

In private, he’ll let you lay across him, as long as you aren’t too soft towards him

He’ll feel a little smothered at times, and if that happens, he will push you away 

His kisses might become a little slower but they will still be passionate and a little rough

STEVE RANDLE:

Steve is pretty confident, so I don’t think he’d get overly embarrassed by your physical affection 

If anything, he’d probably brag about it – it’s a sure way to show everyone who his girl is

If you go to hold his hand, he isn’t going to push you have, although he’d much rather have his arm around you

If he’s working and you drape yourself over him, he’ll probably carry on like normal

I mean it when I say he is unbothered

Little kisses; im talking on the cheek, forehead, lips, neck, you name it, he won’t ever say no and he’ll happily return it

He doesn’t really care for the gang’s teasing about how clingy you are – he secrectly thinks they’re all jealous

In private, you’re pretty much glued to his side and he doesn’t complain, in fact he quite likes it

Sit in his lap, lay on his chest, hug him from the side, do whatever you want but never touch his hair

TWO-BIT MATHEWS:

Much like Soda, Two-bit will probably return your affection at the same level

He has no shame, and while he’ll probably make a few jokes about your clinginess, he won’t ever shrug you off

Hug him for as long as you want, he’ll hold you back

If you kiss him out of the blue, he’ll probably grin at you before returning it 

Probably also brags about you constantly touching him, saying that you “just can’t keep your hands off”

In private, he’s even worse like shit 

He’ll hold you from behind, kiss your neck, tease you

He loves that you’re just as affectionate as he is so much

Cuddling on the couch and watching tv is pretty much y’alls go-to date night

His little sister probably loves you like she will so join in with cuddling sometimes

[torasplanet]

been thinking a lot about frat!toman and being their sweetheart. i have many ideas but the one stuck on me is when they all just can't get enough of you! they all share but it's getting to a point where they're damn near ready to go through a barbaric war for you.

mikey, the frat prez, would treat you like an absolute princess like the most of them but with him you really are. he can do what he wants and say what he wants meaning you get whatever you want but he doesn't particularly enjoy it when you get mouthy. nobody else does either.

the only one who really seems to like it is nahoya, it really gets him going when you tell everyone how it is and make demands. what else gets him going is when he gets you to shut all that shit up. it's funny to him almost. you get a little bit of dick and everything you tried to stand on matters much less than before, in fact you've forgotten about it.

mitsuya is such a sweetheart when it comes to the frat sweetheart. he treats you like fine china, of course he has his moments but he's nowhere as rough as some of the others can be...he's your favorite, for a reason.

draken is also a nice one but don't get him wrong, he's very quick to snap you back into place if you're being too much of a...brat, he'd say. he's also king of casual dominance. he's sort of a mitsuya mixed with a baji. he'll always make sure you're okay while he's treating you and whatever you call that nasty thing between your thighs like nothing but a cumdump.

speaking of him, baji is such a tease. he's mean, to say the least. he likes to show you off, he's not scared of people knowing about the situation going on the frat. in his words, most people already think frat sweethearts get fucked like you. he can be nice, he's a gentleman of course but most of the time, he is such a meanie !!

however, this doesn't make him the meanest. chifuyu, whether you believe it or not, can be pretty fucking mean. he's such a sweetie, he loves you and adores you yet when you get him upset, he's torturing your poor clit for hours to the point you wish that nahoya was the one pissed off !! don't even get me started on how filthy his mouth will get...

kazutora is the real sweetheart though, him and souya both. kazutora is always so gentle with you, he takes you out on dates and treats you before he even thinks about getting between your legs. speaking of, he is a real eater !! he can cum just from eating you out and then he's satisfied for the day. but with the way he likes to cum, you'll be getting eaten out until kazutora has to get rid of his pants because of how much he stained them.

souya by far has to be the best gentleman. he waited so long to fuck you, he knew you were sore from the recent relationships in the frat and he wanted you to really feel him and everything he has to offer. he still does the same. he refuses to fuck you if someone else already had soon before him, the most he'll do is foreplay and enough to make you cum untouched. he hates seeing your pretty pussy all spoiled with someone else's cum!! all he wants is to stare at how his cum is so sheer spread all over your thighs and cunt.

but what they all fight about is who gets to do your aftercare and taking you out. as much as they love seeing you all fucked out, they love seeing that sweet smile when they give you a surprise date. the toman frat boys simply adore you !!

©torasplanet .ᐟ reblogs and likes are very appreciated! pls do not repost!!

[jaspvids]

The Diagnosis Of David

Disclaimer: I am by no means a mental health professional. This is just a meta-analysis.

What do we think of when we think of David?

His values of kindness. Optimism. Hope. Conviction. Passion. His drive to do his best every single day. The way he always makes an effort to reach out to others.

But also:

Attachment issues. People pleaser. Rose-colored glasses wearer. And at times, though the fandom doesn’t want to acknowledge it — Selfish. Unstable. Rude. Hypocritical. Kind of a dick.

See this video I made;

He’s complex, so let’s try to unpack him, and figure out what he’s got going on under that floof.

On David’s Childhood

David has been through a number of traumatic events in his childhood, most notably:

Witnessing Jasper fall to his near-death.

Finding Jasper, and being almost mauled by bears during the escape.

Clown school was apparently very bad, given the flashback-like reaction he had when it was mentioned. I’m unsure of his age when this occurred, however.

The fight with Jasper at the cave before they parted ways.

Losing Jasper. He says Cameron told him he was picked up by his parents, but I’m not convinced it’s not just his mind trying to erase painful memories.

As far as what we don’t necessarily see in the show, but can infer, David’s father was either not present or not great. He dreamt Cameron was his real father, as seen below.

And we all know Cameron is an awful father figure to begin with.

Yet, that’s better to David, apparently, than whatever he had at home. Which implies it was likely a pretty bad situation.

This can also be backed up by his attachment to the camp — growing up (and even now) it seems to be more of a home to him than his actual home.

That’s a home that hasn’t ever been mentioned, by the way. Contrary to Gwen, we know absolutely nothing about his family. He hasn’t talked about them once, if I recall correctly.

David is often open with emotions, if not wearing his heart on his sleeve. So why would he never mention his family and home?

We know why.

Even as an adult, he has retained this attachment to Cameron (who has in turn, continued to use this attachment to his benefit). He gets very excited about helping Cameron change in “keep the change” — because he needs to believe people who hurt him can get better. Otherwise, it’s too painful to bear.

The Loss Of Jasper

Part of his childhood, but significant enough to warrant its own section.

Jasper and David had a very interesting relationship. We’ve seen in the past that David was pessimistic, foulmouthed, and hot-tempered, directly compared to an optimistic, peppy, popular Jasper.

But then Jasper saw Cameron’s real self, and David received a modicum of praise for what was likely the first time based on his reaction. And so, they basically did somewhat of a switcheroo.

(David takes on many traits of Jasper after this experience, showing that he does admire him at the end of the day. I believe these traits are the foundation of David’s many masks.)

Despite the whole shebang, further episodes show us that they form a strong bond (or maintain one, we don’t know what happened before the first Jasper and David episode.)

What makes this friendship especially crucial in David’s development is that I believe Jasper was the first person to truly stand up for David.

David is, as we have seen, easily manipulated. Jasper picks up on this, and knowing Cameron’s just trying to use his best friend, tries to take Cameron down.

Jasper essentially died trying to protect David.

If Jasper hadn’t died, I don’t think David would have ended up as gullible and dependent as he is. If he had the more rational and realistic Jasper by his side during the rest of his developmental years, I believe things would have ended up much, much differently.

With Jasper’s death, there seems to be nobody else at camp who knows of Cameron’s crimes, or possibly, doesn’t want to speak out about them. Nobody to stand up for him. Nobody to redirect him.

So there’s nobody to stop the unhealthy-attachment-train from picking up speed.

Cameron And David’s Relationship

Cameron is manipulative and abusive towards David. This even becomes physical:

Despite this, David continues to idolize him as is seen in many cases of abuse. He works his ass off maintaining Cameron’s camp. Cameron’s approval makes or breaks him, because this is the man he sees as a father, unfortunately.

In addition, David is unable to let go of the hope that Cameron can change, because he’s convinced himself that deep down Cameron is still “good”, based on his skewed perception of him. And we all know how that ended.

But as Diane from Bojack Horseman once said —

And that is David’s problem — he wants so much for there to be a “deep down”, that there will be a day where Cameron showers him with praise and throws signed adoption forms at him, etcetera.

He judges Cameron not on who he actually is, but who he wants him to be. And so, the unhealthy attachment remains.

(Which is, of course, incredibly destructive to his mental health.)

Other Things We Know About His Mental Health, From Canon

We know he takes meds.

We know he has (sometimes dissociative) panic attacks.

We know he has been seen to suddenly snap, even to the point of violence.

My Final Conclusion: C-PTSD

(As the trauma has been not just one event, but many over the course of his life, and among other reasons, I believe CPTSD fits better than PTSD.)

David meets much of the criteria, most notably:

Lack of emotional regulation

Dissociation

Flashbacks

Anxiety

Guilt and shame

Distorted perception of abuser

Relationship difficulties

Okay this was long I’m tired good night.

[moonchildxoxx]

A/N: You are responsible for your own media consumption. MDNI 18+. Lit bit of anguish, little bit of smut and also a bit of fluff

Pairing: So’lek x Fem!Aranahe!Reader,

Word count: 2319

Synopsis: a classic young sunshine ☀️ and old grump🌧️ finally get together a young aranahe weaver falls for the grumpy hunter and eventually breaks down So’lek’s walls

The Weaver’s Heart and the Hunter’s Soul”

Solek sat in his makeshift camp that was nestled on the outskirts of the Aranahe territory. She found him sharpening his knives with a scowl on his face. "What do you want?" So'lek grumbled not looking up, he knew it was her, the little aranahe weaver that never seemed to leave him alone. “I just came to see how you were doing." She said as she hesitantly took a step forward crouching next to him. "Would you want to go for a ride with me?." Solek paused his sharpening and stared at her with a blank expression, processing the request. Her request was a surprise, it made him slightly uncomfortable. He could handle the hunt and the ambushes but something more light hearted like a ride was foreign to him. "I don't see the point of that." Was his response.

She rolled her eyes playfully "you're such a grump you're worse than my baba.” The corner of Solek's lips slightly turned up, he felt as if he should snap and be more hostile with her. But something about her presence made him feel at ease. "You seem quite comfortable calling me grumpy." The Na’vi said, raising an eyebrow.

"Well if the battle band fits" she said. A full blown chuckle escaped So'lek, he couldn't believe he had actually laughed in front of her. He quickly covered it up pretending to cough. "That was not a laugh." He declared. "No of course not that was an involuntary muscle spasm.” She answered sarcastically.

"Exactly." The Navi replied, he felt his cheeks slowly turning a dark shade of blue, he knew she must have seen this but he prayed she hadn't.

He quickly changed the subject by pointing to his sharpened weapons. "Why do you insist on coming to see me?" He asked. "Because I like you" she countered So'lek stared at her wide eyed, the words she spoke came as a surprise to him. No one had told him they liked him in a long time. "Why do you like me? I'm certainly not one of the more attractive males around ." Solek said with an air of confusion. "They don’t really hold my interest "

So'lek's eyes narrowed before he spoke again, he really wanted to know what it was about him that she liked so much. "Do you enjoy my scowl and grumpy attitude? Is that what attracts you?" "Part of it, yes" she admitted. The Na'vi couldn't believe this cute yet annoying female was making him blush. He didn't like this feeling of being vulnerable. "How is that attractive?" He said trying to change topics again.

“I’m not quite sure but I like it” she spoke

"So you like me with my angry scowl and me being rude, then what is the end goal then, do you hope to make me more friendly?" So'lek asked before he sighed thinking she didn't understand his intentions or his pain. "No!, of course not!. And you aren’t always so scowling

" she added "I'm not always scowling?" The Na'vi asked, raising his brows once more he wondered what was wrong with this female. Surely she had to be either crazy or very brave to say these things to him. “ then when am I not scowling?" “When you are with the sarentu " "That does not count." Solek replied in a tone that sounded offended. He couldn't believe she brought up the sarentu, he actually liked teaching the young hunter but it wasn't something he would openly admit.

“So'lek you are acting offended for nothing nobody else is going to hear a word of this conversation” she said. Solek paused before speaking again, maybe this female was right.

"Fine I am not always scowling, but only when I'm being polite to the younglings. But how would you know about that?" "I have eyes, others seem to turn a blind eye when it comes to you for some reason or another.” Solek was used to being viewed as a grump, an intimidating male. The rest of the Na'vi's wouldn't dare get in his way when he was on a hunt but this female seemed persistent to get to know him. "Do you really pay that much attention to me, what is the reason for that?" Solek asked, raising his eyebrows, he was intrigued but also slightly annoyed. "I do not have a straight answer but I feel a pull towards you… I like you "

So'lek's sharp eyes studied her for a moment before he spoke again. "A pull towards me?" He replied sounding a bit skeptical, surely this young female wasn't into him. He had no good qualities, he was a scarred damaged male whose hatred overpowered all else. "I must warn you there are much better males you could be drawn to."

She sighed " You are just as good as any of the others, you just need a little bit of time and patience .” Solek scoffed before shaking his head. "I am certainly not just as good as any other male. And I have no desire to be treated with patience or cared for. I do not need you coddling me." The Na'vi said in a low growl as he glared down at her. “It is not coddling Solek having patience with someone is not coddling” "It sure sounds like it. I'm a grown Na'vi male." Solek replied in a sharp tone, he didn't understand why she was trying to be so nice to him. Maybe she just felt sorry for him. He didn't need her pity, no one deserves pity. “Yes but you have also seen great horrors in your life time and you have not given yourself time to grieve or heal” she spoke softly trying to reason. So'lek's face was suddenly stone. "You have not lived through a war with the RDA, you know nothing about grief, what pain I've lived through." The Na'vi said in an icy tone, suddenly he felt like yelling at her in all of his rage. "you are right I have not seen a war of that size " she spoke calmly

Seeing her being so calm in this situation was infuriating to the Na vi. "Is that the reason you like me? Your curiosity of my past?" Solek said with a slight edge. “No Solek your past is not a thing of importance but I understand you have trauma and it will always be apart of you.” So'lek turned away from her , he couldn't believe this female understood his situation. "You actually seem to understand." The Na'vi said before he paused, he didn't like letting people see his vulnerable side. "But if you understand then, how do you still like me?" "Why wouldn't I like? Why should anything you've gone through change my opinion on you Solek" she asked. Solek paused before speaking again, her words brought the slightest glimmer of hope within him. No one had ever liked him for who he was before, only what he could offer them. He was confused and somewhat hopeful about this female.

"Even with all of my scars and baggage you still like me?" "That's how i've only ever known you So'lek " The Navi was taken aback by her response. She ad a point, she ad only ever seen his scarred face and scarred body. But now as he tried to look back, she had never actually seen him any other way. "But all you've seen is me being rude and angry." Solek mumbled, he didn't like admitting this much to her “I don’t care So’lek” she spoke

Solek paused again, she really didn't care that she had only known his scarred side. The Na'vi felt his heart beating quicken, the thought of her being so understanding was bewildering him, but also it gave him another feeling that he wasn't used to but could identify. "So you have no problems with my scars, my attitude, my personality?" He asked her, there was hope now that his scars didn't scare her away from him.

She kissed his cheek softly. So'lek froze as her soft lips touched his cheek. He was not expecting a kiss nor did he think a female like herself could do that. His face felt like it was on fire as the he just stared at her lips before speaking again.

"Do that again" The words just spilled out of his mouth, he didn't know why but he needed to feel that once more. She kissed his cheek again gently. The rush of euphoria and adrenaline Solek felt after a second kiss was immense. It was unlike anything he had felt before or maybe it was long forgotten. When she pulled away, the Navi could only gaze into her eyes for a moment.

"Are you sure you like me?"He asked his voice sounding a bit shaky, he needed to know.

Solek would not let himself get his hopes up too much, not when he could be left severely heartbroken. He tried not to care if she said she did not have Feelings for him, but it would hurt greatly if she ejected him. She kissed him on the lips this time The kiss made Solek feel as if all his senses had been amplified. The taste of her lips caused his heart to race. The warmth of her body and her scent was intoxicating to him. The Na'vi wanted a chance to return the favor, to show her how much he cared. He placed his hands on her back and pulled her close so that now your bodies were pressed against each other.

He opened his mouth before connecting his lips to hers nd pulled her into a deep kiss.

Solek was breathing heavily after the intense kissing session and the Na'vi had to ask the one question that had been weighing heavily on his mind. "Why are you being so nice to me? I am a scarred damaged male, l am not someone you should be falling for."

She had had enough “Why? What exactly makes you damaged So'lek? Tell me " she argued. So'lek's face turned slightly red when she asked that. "Are you joking? I am covered in scars both mentally and physically. I have been at war for years, I have killed countless humans to protect my home. I've seen my family and friends die. I have killed." The Na'vi spoke slowly, he was beginning to feel the weight of these things again. "You didn't even flinch when I told you this." "Because none of this changes who you are Solek " Solek could not understand how she was still persisting that he was worth caring about. He was shocked, yet pleased that she didn't care. "You're unbelievable." The na'vi said in awe. He pulled her into his lap so that now she was cradled against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, like he was afraid she might disappear. So'lek couldn't help himself from burying his face in her hair. She smelled like fresh rain and sweet berries. The Na'vi relished in this moment, feeling her body pressed against his.

He ran a hand along her back,gently touching her bare skin. He also enjoyed the feeling of her hair between his fingers as he twisted and twirled the locks in his hand. She gently caressed his cheek

The feeling of her fingers against his face made Solek shiver. He was not used to this soft touch, but he didn't hate it. You're driving me mad, you know that." Solek said softly against your hair as he pulled her in closer. Now that she was against his chest, he was tempted to bury his face in her shoulder and take in her scent but that would only make his desire stronger. The Navi gently nipped at her ear, his heart racing. A part of him felt like a lovesick teenage boy, he was enjoying being so close to her and feeling your body against his. He then gently touched a hand to her chin and tilted her head back so he could look her in the eyes. He looked at her face, studying her facial features. Solek thought she looked angelic. The way the sunlight touched her skin, the way her hair framed her face "You're driving me mad, you know that." Solek said softly against her hair as he pulled her in closer.

Now that she was against his chest, he was tempted to bury his face in her shoulder and take in her scent but that would only make his desire stronger. He then traced his thumb along her bottom lip before speaking in a low tone.

"You are beautiful..." He spoke before he began to trail his finger along her jaw and down her neck. As he felt her warm skin under his touch he suddenly had the urge to mark her as his.

The Na'vi began to kiss her neck and he nibbled gently on the soft skin. He began feeling the strong desire to markher , to make his claim on her visible for all to see. She moaned gently So'lek's heart skipped a beat as she let out a little moan. He smiled upon hearing her make this noise, he wanted to hear it again.

"Oh you like that do you?" He said in a low tone before sucking gently on her neck.

He sighed as she gently caressed his skin and he couldn't help but turn his head to press a soft kiss to her palm . His body was filled with sensations of desire and he had an intense urge to hold her closer. The Na'vi was fighting the urge to pick her up and carry her to his tent so he could do other things to her. For now he knew he had to act with restraint and so, he settled for wrapping his arms around her tighter and pulling her in close to his chest.

[d3wdropz]

Sukuna NSFW Headcanons

Warnings: fem!reader, nsfw, smut, trueform, overstimulation, degradation, fingering, oral (fem receiving and giving), creampie, breeding, doggy style, cowgirl, mating press, light spanking, hairpulling, fingering, blowjob, dom! sukuna, p in v, no protection, double-dickery, and that's all (I think)

A/N: hiii! I have never really written a fic on tumblr so i'm hoping it goes well- plz have mercy on me and my horny ass

Thank you @roseschoices for the beautiful banner!

♡- Dominant. A rough dom at that. Also kind of demanding, but only bc he knows you love it

♡- He loves being in control, refuses to let you top or call the shots. If you think riding him helps, you are so wrong. Sukuna's just gonna grab your hips and start pounding- best thing to do is hold on tight and enjoy it

♡- His punishments are never like BDSM extreme with whips and chains. In his mind, sex has an end goal and prolonging it can be fun, but not when it feels like a chore for him. Sukuna loves some bratty behavior, but it gets on his nerves sooo fast

♡- Sukuna just expects you to be an obedient little girl, but if you're not be prepared for some rough backshots and hair-pulling that leaves your scalp sore

♡- He won't slap your ass hard, more so as a way of warning you when to shut up

♡- Speaking of hair-pulling, he uses your hair/head like it's some fucking handlebar- especially when you give him head. Bc he has you in an iron grip, he gets to choose the pace, how deep you take him, and whether you swallow or not

♡- He has definitely said shit like "Come on, slut- I'm keeping you here until you swallow" and he means it. So either guzzle that baby-batter or get ready for a long night

♡- You'll have one of his cocks in your mouth while jerking off the other. That's not enough tho, best believe he wants both sucked dry

♡- Sukuna doesn't just like getting head, he'll dive into your pussy for hours. And he's not just gonna eat it, he's gonna take his time sucking on your clit and scissoring open your cunt until you're crying

♡- Your thighs will be clamped around his head, hands pulling on his hair, begging for him to give you a break. Sukuna just chuckles and watches you shiver from the vibrations before he uses one pair of arms to hold your thighs open and the other to work you to your next orgasm

♡- He degrades you in the best ways, not that "You're my bitch" type shit, but the really good stuff

♡- "My poor little slut's getting sensitive" he says as he speeds up his thrusts, "Don't worry, just need you to cum again for me. Promise this'll be the last one" fucking liar

♡- One of his favorite positions is the mating press. One cock fucking you open, the other bumping against your tummy while you beg for more- or in you ass, depends on his mood

♡- He cums so much, it's thick and a little sour but very creamy. One load from just a singular cock leaves your mouth flooded. And bc of his double-dickery, expect to be stuffed full

♡- Sukuna believes the only place his cum should be is inside you, he doesn't care if it's your mouth or pussy, long as it's not wasted

♡- When he is in the breeding mood, expect at least six rounds. Three for each dick, and atleast two orgasms for you each round

♡- He loves fucking you stupid, overstimulation is his favorite thing. The main reason is because Sukuna loves watching you go dumb on his dicks

♡- "Fuck- that's my girl" you can barely hear him over the sound of his thighs slapping against your ass, heavy balls smacking at your clit "Can feel you getting closer- that's right, princess, come for me"

♡- Sukuna's pride is also a big reason why he loves making you cum so much. He wants you to know that nobody else will make you feel anywhere near as good as he does. Gets a shit eating grin when he feels you tighten onto his cock for the fifth time

♡- No matter how much of an asshole he is, he knows that taking both cocks at once is a process. The day you finally give the okay is gonna be when he spends twice as much time prepping you

♡- For once, praise is going to be flowing from his mouth "Doing so good for me, baby" and "Just a little more, you can take it" are just a few examples

♡- He'll eat you out, then finger you for hours until you're begging for his cocks

♡- Which I forgot to mention that one of his fingers alone is as thick as like two of your own

♡- Back to the fucking- he wants to get you into a fucked out headspace to help ease the pain, so prepare yourself for five rounds, eight orgasms, and atleast two squirts until he finally gives you both cocks

♡- You will be thankful he did all that prep cause damn, those cocks are big. One alone is like 9 inches, and so thick you can barely wrap your hands around it. So both at the same time is a tight squeeze

♡- Enjoy the view though, cause this man is going to lose it. You're tight pussy squeezing both of his dicks is gonna make him forget everything and just jackhammer your pussy

♡- Sukuna will be whimpering "Oh shit- fucking best pussy I've ever had. Fuck, that's my girl, take it- take it"

♡- By the end of it all, you'll be stuffed beyond belief and practically passed out

♡- If it means anything, his aftercare is. . . okay. He'll clean up the mess he made, give you some water, and fall alseep with you wrapped in his arms

♡- Overall, 10/10 experience- would recommend

[bluesgrxce]

Yandere (machine-ish?) Connor Headcanons

I love soft deviant Connor like anyone else does, but machine Connor is sooo,,, omgggggggg..... I've been holding in my thoughts about him for so long that it's unhealthy. So I went for a Hannah Montana best of both worlds kinda thing. What if Connor acted like a deviant around you, but a machine towards everyone else?

How this happens is something I can't quite explain. Connor probably couldn't, either. To everyone else, an android is either a machine or a deviant-- There's no such thing as an inbetween. He would have agreed with this prior to bonding with you. You probably treated him in a way that nobody else did, sympathizing with him on a deeper level or making him question his morals, so he can see why that would push him to deviancy. 

But when you're not around, all those overwhelming emotions he felt just fade away. The mission goes back front and center to his priorities. He only feels two things at that point: confusion that runs his LED wild and desire for you that makes his thirium pump pound even when he's not in motion. Nobody else can bring about such reactions within him. 

He runs plenty of diagnostic checks in an attempt to figure out what's wrong with him. At one point, he'll try to avoid you and force himself into staying a machine, but that just makes him less efficient because he'll constantly worry about you instead. 

He would eventually accept himself as a deviant, but only so he wouldn't have to take orders from Cyberlife anymore. He doesn't want anything standing between the two of you. But he still largely acts like a machine and he doesn't mind that at all. He just sets his new mission to making you entirely his... 

Even once Connor sees his emotions as real, it's still his natural instinct to mask them. Especially negative ones like anger, sadness, and jealousy. He wouldn't want to show them unless they benefit his situation somehow, such as if he wanted to persuade or intimidate you/others. Emotions only matter to him if they're useful. 

For example, he *does* feel the desire to show affection towards you, and he will do it. He'll compliment you whenever you do something admirable. He'll reassure you and show geniune worry whenever you're upset about something. He'll even study romance media just to learn how to act more natural in the relationship (He thinks that'll help him act more natural, anyway... Lord help you if he gets his hands on Twilight 💀 But if the Bryan Dechart Twilight commercial is anything to go off of, he'd look good as a vampire, at least). 

But he doesn't do that stuff simply because he loves you. He does it because he knows your relationship benefits from it and you'll likely leave him if you feel neglected. He wouldn't bother if he knew it wouldn't keep you around. So if your relationship isn't exactly consensual in the first place, well... 

Which makes him sound pretty manipulative, right? You have no idea. 

Connor's android abilities give him a terrifying amount of advantages as a yandere. The first thing is that he always analyzes you when you enter the room, even though that often means analyzing you multiple times a day. It never bores him because he always manages to discover something new. Sometimes he'll blurt out random comments and you'll have to do a double take because he makes it easy to forget that he's obsessed with you.

"Your birthday is coming up soon. You might already know I'm aware of that type of information, but you should still bring it up with me. Otherwise I'll have to start believing I can't trust you and I'll have to make my own investigations." 

"Your heart rate goes up every time I touch you like this. I didn't realize physical contact was so important to human relationships. Don't worry, I won't stop. I won't let anyone stop me."

"Your serotonin levels are at an all-time low... Clearly, it can't be my fault, since I've done everything I am sure a good boyfriend would do. I'd like you to be honest when you tell me what's wrong this time."

The red flags fly higher as time goes on. He'll stop talking about all these observations if you tell him to, but he'll keep analyzing you anyway. 

Connor is enamoured with your DNA, as well. It helps him feel closer to you, which can often be difficult for him since he's not human. So if it belongs to you, and it can fit, it's going in his mouth. He'll do gross shit like keep your used lollipop sticks in his pocket so he can sample them whenever he wants. There's only one emotion he can't feel no matter what you do: shame. 

The invasive behavior doesn't stop there. He'll invite himself into your home and go through your things. He'll keep asking questions and trick you into revealing more information about yourself than you should. Knowing everything there possibly is to know about you gives him a stronger feeling of control for a single reason...

Your chance of escape plummets as he learns more about you, because it allows him to predict your behavior. He'll get scary accurate if you let him get close to you. This mostly benefits him in situations where he believes you want to leave him, or you did leave him, so he can figure out what you plan to do/already did and find the best method to get you back. If you already did leave, he'll examine your recent whereabouts like it's a crime scene and use his reconstruction ability. Even if you're insanely careful, he'll probably find a clue that'll lead him to you.

But sometimes he'll do it in normal situations, too, just as a silent guessing game. For instance: '(Y/N) will enter the police station at 8:18AM. I'm waiting for them at the entrance, so they'll greet me, but speed-walk away and avert eye contact. They'll head into the break room at 8:19AM and pretend to look around a bit, so Gavin won't make fun of them when they go for the same snack they always do. Gavin will make fun of them anyway and they'll argue for two minutes. Then--'

He has to stop thinking so he can greet you when you enter the building. Exactly at 8:18AM. He smirks to himself, only to drop into a frown when he hears Gavin's distant obnoxious laughter afterward. 

Remember how Connor once analyzed Hank's food and advised him against eating it? He does stuff like that to you all the time. And if you actually take the advice he gives, he'll take that as an opportunity to become more controlling. Oh, but only for the sake of your health, of course...

"You know, you shouldn't sit in that type of position. Bad posture can lead to health issues later on in life." "Then how should I sit?" "...It'll be easier if I show you." 

And so he'll help re-position you, using that as an excuse to touch you. He would especially do this if you weren't yet in a relationship, because he knows that as the type of android he is, he doesn't have a good reason to do so. The touch only lasts a brief moment. It's not inappropriate at all, and his grip was quite gentle. But it's weird that he went out of his way to do in the first place and that's all you might need to feel uncomfortable about it. 

But a lot of that is based off of the assumption that you're human. If you're an android, he still manages to find invasive things to do against your will. For one thing, he loves probing your memory. It's already difficult to lie to him and get away with it, but that might make it impossible, depending on what you're lying about. He doesn't care that it's an invasion of privacy and will do it if he finds a good excuse to do so.

Connor keeps an eye on your stress level and uses it to his advantage. He prefers to use persuasion when convincing you to do something, (he knows how to negotiate, after all) but he'll ultimately turn to intimidation if necessary. Which means heading straight into interrogation mode. 

This won't happen unless you're extremely rebellious, but if it does, he doesn't hold back. He'll treat you like you're a sick criminal, yelling at you, pushing blame and guilt onto you, and using physical force. 28 stab wounds type shit. He would avoid raising your stress level to 100% since he knows it could drive you to do crazy things, but that still doesn't make his actions okay. 

Even if you're really sensitive to that sort of treatment-- hell, even if you have some kind of trauma related to it-- he pushes away what little guilt he feels. He promises not to do it again "as long as you don't force me to." Actually, though, it encourages him to do it more. He knows it works against you now. 

His abilities don't stop there. He can mimic your voice using his vocal imitation, and all the voices of your loved ones, too. He went out of his way to meet them all, just in case he needs to trick you in the future. He likes being prepared. 

There are times when he's alone and he'll say stuff in your voice just so he can hear what it would sound like, such as, "I love you, Connor." Once again, he doesn't feel shame. Even if that seems pathetic. 

Let's just say it now. You cannot physically fight back against him. Maybe you'll have a chance if you're an android, but he knows about his advantage very well. He won't hesitate to remind you if you try getting aggressive. But even if you manage to get rid of him once, there's another model waiting to take his place. 

On a related note... I hope you never meet RK900. We only saw that guy for a minute, he said absolutely nothing in that minute, but the whole fandom has agreed that he's a menance. I fully agree. RK900 is definitely different from Connor, but they still have just enough similarities for him to get attached to you, too. Get help while you still can. 

The video of Bryan Dechart dancing as Connor lives rent free in my mind. I watch it on repeat like an iPad kid watching Friday Night Funkin' YouTube Kids videos. My brain just melts and I can't think of anything else. No, this isn't me simping for Bryan Dechart. This is me wanting Connor dancing to be canon. A girl can dream.

[zzprompto]

☆ no homo, right?

denji x male reader [he / him]

sypnosis: denji starts to get feelings for [name] and he thinks of all the little things between them. it's not gay though, right? (meant to be viewed as romantic)

the lowercase is intentional !

denji was always a fan of women and everything about them. he wasn't necessarily quiet about his preferences either. everyone knew about them. power did, aki did, yoshida probably does and asa too.

however, nobody expected denji to fall for a man, let alone one of his close friends. denji, the one who always talked about wanting to feel a woman, was now making goo-goo eyes at a man. it was unusual.

denji always reassured his friends (asa and yoshida) that he didn't actually like [name]. yet, they could see past him and his lies. they knew that denji was completely infatuated by [name] and no amount of 'no homo's was going to clear that off the fiend's name.

denji was walking about town with [name]. they usually spent their time doing such with their friends after school or when nothing was happening. however, fate seemed to be on denji's side. even if denji didn't want to believe that.

[name] and denji were alone. asa and yoshida had bailed on the two earlier, making weak excuses just to not go with them. of course, they did it all on purpose. they weren't going to tell [name] and denji though, it would ruin all of the fun and suspense.

the two men continued walking, their hands occasionally brushing against eachother as they walked past the busy crowds.

denji wanted to hold [name]'s hand. he wanted to hold it in his own hand and squeeze it. he wanted to feel how soft [name]'s hand would feel in his own, or how calloused it felt. denji wanted to swing his hand, in turn swinging [name]'s as they walked.

but, it wasn't gay right? it was normal to want to hold your friends hand, of course it was. denji had done that with power many times before, so it wasn't romantic or anything.

yet why did it feel so different when denji was facing [name]? why was his heart fluttering? why was his mind racing? he wasn't gay, and he didn't like [name].

eventually, the two settled down at a cafe. it was just the two of them, settling down for a meal to discuss.

but why did this feel like something else? denji felt like he was going on a date, like the time he had gotten reze some flowers on a date. it felt like he was on a date, with his friend.

denji wasn't gay though. of course he wasn't - he couldn't be. he loved women, he was quite the enjoyer. he felt nothing towards men compared to how he felt towards women.

but everything still felt different. denji's palms felt sweaty as he sat down across [name]. he felt his throat going dry too, so he immediately ordered an orange juice to soothe his thirst.

it didn't help though. nothing seemed to be helping when denji was around [name] and he couldn't stand it.

[name] then ordered for himself and for denji. being friends for a while meant that [name] knew stuff. [name] knew the food denji liked, the manga that he would read (or at least tried to), and the fact that denji was chainsaw man.

denji's whole body went hot when he realised this. he realised how much [name] knew about him and it honestly felt scary. were friends meant to know so much about eachother? of course they were, but everything felt so different and scary when denji was with [name].

if asa and yoshida were here, denji wouldn't have to be stuck in this situation. stuck being alone with [name].

once the food arrived, denji immediately tucked in. [name] had ordered him a cake, similar to the one denji had recieved when he first went to a cafe with yoshida. it was sweet, moist and overall perfection. denji couldn't help but want to scarf it down immediately.

"could i have a taste?" [name] asked denji, a small, innocent smile on his lips that made denji's whole body stiffen.

lips.. [name]'s lips. denji wanted to kiss them so badly. he wanted to feel [name]'s lips on his own and see how they'd melt into eachother. he wanted to see how their lips fit into eachother. he wanted to see how perfect they were together.

denji wasn't gay though. he shook away his thoughts by thinking a simple "no homo", something asa despised hearing from denji. she knew the truth that denji was constantly hiding from, and so did yoshida.

"oh.. sure.." denji smiled back at [name]. he took a fork, to be somewhat civilised and not to feed [name] with his hand. he put the fork into the cake and took a piece before feeding it to [name], his hand under the fork to make sure it wouldn't drop the cake before [name] could even get a taste.

wait.. feeding [name]? denji's brain was working on autopilot. he couldn't believe he had just done that. he had just fed [name] a piece of his cake. the cake that he was eating. the cake that he was shoveling down his throat with his bare hands. denji thought he was going to faint because of how hot the room suddenly felt..

[name] wasn't opposed to denji feeding him the cake. although he wasn't expecting it, he certainly didn't mind it. it was like a new change of pace for once in his entire friendship with denji. he wouldn't mind more changes in the future wither.

[name] finished the small piece with a hum, smiling at how good the piece tasted. was it better because denji fed it to him? nobody would know, only [name]

denji the looked away, embarrassed by his actions. he had just fed his friend a piece of his cake.. his mind was still on that.

and of course, denji's mind went into autopilot again as he continued to think about [name].

denji started to eat the cake with the fork, not even his own hands now. he was eating with the same fork that was in [name]'s mouth a few seconds ago. the same fork that he had just used to feed [name]. it was like an indirect kissA

the poor blonde yelped and he dropped his fork onto the table, hiding his face in embarrassment.

denji wasn't gay. he was just doing stuff that friends would do with their friends regularly. but why was his heart fluttering? why was his mind racing? why was his throat suddenly closed up and dried? why, why, why?

"i think i'm in love with you, [name].." denji mumbled into his hands, too scared to meet [name]'s eyes.

maybe denji wasn't gay, but he was surely into his best friend [name] and he now accepted it. he wouldn't hide his feelings behind a 'no homo' anymore.

☆ author's note: 1st chainsaw man post! i was planning on posting requests but for some reason i can't edit my old-er drafts so i have to redo them 😪 sorry for those who are waiting!

☆ masterlist ▪︎ request

[yan-lorkai]

｡⁠*ﾟ Who would poison you and why

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Jade Leech: It's not that his intention is to poison you. It's more a matter of you being too innocent and trusting him too much, eating the mushrooms directly from his hand. You don't even notice the sinister smile that adorns his face. But don't worry, this menace of a eel here will take great care of you as he rubs comforting circles on your back and watches your reactions, watching as you slowly gaps and suffocate, trembling in his arms, your shiny eyes asking for help.

"Shush, darling, this will pass soon." He murmurs quietly, as if it were something common. Drinking in your fear as if he wasn't even worried at all if you lived or died, though there's all an antidote in his pocket.

⠀⠀

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Vil Schoenheit: You misbehaved, so to speak. That's it. Vil isn't inherently controlling with you, since you're his beloved and he trust you enough to know that you wouldn't do nothing dangerous or that he would deemed as stupid. You thought though that doing parkour when you clearly don't know how to was a good idea. You don't even know how hard his poor heart was pounding when he saw your elaborated and badly executed jumps, one bad landing and you could break your legs or worse. So now you're laying in his bed, sleeping sedated with his powerful poison till he give you an antidote. For now, you're staying where he can see you. Later, when he is more calm, he's going to talk with you about what you did.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Rook Hunt: This one here actually depends. If you tried to run away he would shoot you and all his arrows are soaked in paralizing venom so his prey can't escape from him. Aside from that, he could be trying to build your immunity against poison, feeding you a little everyday, each time growing a little till you're drinking poison like it's soda.

⠀

Barbatos: He does because you're trying to do something dangerous or you're trying to leave him, either way you can't leave if you can't move, if you don't know where you are. Barbatos made a special place specially for you, a dimension only he can come and go as he please and the best part is that nobody else can enter it. Nobody hears you, nobody sees you. Maybe if you were a good human things could be different.

Satan: It was an accident. He was trying to poison Lucifer, but you just had to go and sip from Lucifer's cup! Who even does this? It's almost as if you indirectly wants to kiss Lucifer! Oh gods, he doesn't even wants to think about this. And now here you are, struggling to breath like you're a fish out of the water, quickly he cast a spell on you to make sure you're ok. But now that his prank is over you have to make it up to him somehow!

⠀

Sebastian: Everything was planned down to the smallest detail. He would poison you till you're fragile and sick, so bedridden and dependent that you couldn't even had strength to lift one finger, then he would come to you to propose that you make a pact with him. But also to blame your cooks, your maids, and all those who were supposed to take care of you, all those people are healthy while day after day you get worse.

"They're poisoning you darling", he says. And you believe him, because it is the only correct conclusion to have.

Only he can make you feel better, only at his side you're healthy and well, and he takes you with him when the pact is made, away from everything you knew. And now that he has you, he won't let you go, for you are his to have and love, you're his mate.

[komoboko]

𝐤𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐤𝐨 𝐬𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐝 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

ft: tanjiro kamado, zenitsu agatsuma, inosuke hashibira, kanao tsuyuri, genya shinazugawa

no nezuko as I can only see her platonically, sorry !! :(

# tanjiro ! ☆

Somehow, TANJIRO becomes even more of a sweetheart then he already is. He’s considerate and he’s such a thoughtful person that it would be hard not to fall for his accidental charm

Tanjiro tends to linger close to you when he starts to fall for you. It takes him some time to understand why but he knows he treasures you as a person and likes your company dearly. His hands tend to gravitate towards yours but he’s always quick to retract them, it’s then when he realizes that he truly has a crush.

Zenitsu and Inosuke pester him about this heavily. Zenitsu always complains about Tanjiro being so secretive about the person he’s fallen for, as inosuke gives him horrible advice. As his first response was “I SAY CHALLENGE THEM TO A FIGHT TO THE DEATH!!” As for the best, tanjiro believes his own methods will work best.

He enjoys doing tasks for you or just helping you out in general. Whether it’s holding heavy baskets, or taking over a job you were assigned to do for the corps. Compared to others, his hugs or even small touches linger longer than others. His actions have more meaning behind them and his intentions are pure and genuine

# zenitsu ! ☆

ZENITSU is the most outgoing when he had the crush, he doesn’t try to hide his feeling either. Everybody knows he had a major crush on you, and I’m not surprised if you know as well.

He’s overly dramatic about anything and everything when he’s around you, and use even the smallest thing to cling onto you. He’ll whine if he hasn’t seen you and he’ll cling onto your arms and hold you close once he does have his sights on you. Only for him to get either scolded by Tanjiro or smacked in the back of his head by inosuke.

Not to say he isn’t over dramatic in private, but his tone is much calmer and his words are more genuine. Normally he would cling onto you with his hands, but now prefers to do it with his words. When he proclaims his love for you in public many pass it off as a joke, but in private it’s more indirect with actions and you begin to believe it’s no longer a simple joke anymore.

Zenitsu who also is the quickest to figure out his feelings for you, as it’s comes along almost immediately after he meets you for the first time. Similar to Genya is first embarrassed about how he feels, but brushes it off quickly not wanting to waste any chance that arises.

# inosuke ! ☆

Everybody knows INOSUKE had a crush on you, while they can’t point it out without him yelling at them their point still stands. It’s not like he’s trying to show the world he has a crush, he truly just doesn’t know he even has one in the first place.

It easy to point out how different he is around you compared to anybody else he surrounds himself with. He actually takes time to properly know your name, or how he’ll let you eat the food you get and then take even the smallest leftovers you have left. Most surprisingly he’ll try to somewhat improve his hygiene habits if you took the time to bug him about it enough.

In Inosuke’s mind he believes what he’s doing is normal, or at-least what he’s feeling is normal at first. In his mind your just more superior than others around you, so you’ll gain that respect from him as well. It isn’t until he finishes talking to you one day and butterflies swim in his stomach is when he thinks much differently.

He immediately visits Shinobu believing he’s sick and she’ll have to explain to him what he’s feeling. While he partially understands what she’s saying, he begins to believe it’s similar to have boars try and impress a future mate. Inosuke may even attempt to impress you with his skills as a hunter believing that will lead you into letting him out a ring on your finger, or in his mind just “keeping you by his side”.

# kanao! ☆

Nobody could really tell that KANAO truly had a crush on you. Out of anybody here, she’s able to keep to herself more compared to the others. She’s more secretive about this and her more romantic advances are much more discreet.

She’s very calm about the situation and the only small hints about her feelings come from her words and actions. Around others she is silent, she prefers to keep to herself and only truly speaks if spoken to. Around you she’s more open to emotionally express herself, she starts the conversations and her emotions are more visible as you speak.

Compared to others, Kanao is just find with spending time together. Whether you doing something together in a close proximity, or if your both doing separate things in the presence of each other she’s perfectly content.

She only really expresses her feelings to aoi, she one of the most self aware with how she feels but is unsure of how to take care of it. Only after getting help from aoi will she even attempt to pursue you, but she’ll hesitate away from even the first step and aoi will have to bug her about it constantly until she’s able to do it herself.

# genya ! ☆

GENYA is embarrassed to have a crush on you. Not that you embarrass him, but he’s embarrassed of himself for getting such heated reaction. He distanced himself from you by instinct as being somewhat near you can cause his face to go red in the beginning.

He starts off as some sort of secret admirer. He learns about you from a distance such as asking kocho for her help or opinions. With him being in the butterfly mansion often, she’s the first one to even know he has a crush and the main influence to his actions. It takes a while for him to even build up the courage to gift you something. A simple white gardenia flower placed delicately on a shelf in your room. It wasn’t anything revolutionary, but it was the thought that counts!

Through Shinobu’s encouragement, he manages to work his way up to talking with you face to face, properly. Your first conversations are shorter than he liked, as his response are quick and short, with either very few words exchanged or just him shaking his head. Overtime he’s able to open his shell, being able to grasp full length conversations, he’s able to share his thoughts and whatever on his mind he’s able to express more compared to his usual grunt of annoyance.

It doesn’t take much time for others to catch onto this either. They noticed how his tone is softer and he talks at a normal voice instead of his usual irritated yelling. His eyes are really what gives it away, how there much softer contradicting his brother, you can see the emotion he’s feeling through them. A small detail but it holds much more meaning to it. Even through his subtle ways, Genya just wants to show you how much he really cares for you.

[onceuponastory]

one single word - bucky barnes x reader

Plot: In a world where the first thing your soulmate says to you is somewhere on your body, Y/N soon realises that hers is not what she expected... or what she wants. (Soulmate!AU). Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Warnings: Just some swearing and reader worrying she's going to end up alone. As always, if I miss any triggers, please let me know. Notes: This is my piece for @lunarbuck's Soulmate AU writing challenge! Congrats on 2k! Also can't believe it took me so long to use a pic of Seb from this day because he looked SO GOOD. Not beta’d, so any mistakes are my own.

“Has your word shown up yet? Just got mine!” Wanda’s text comes in. Groaning, Y/N types back a reply.

“Yup.” Immediately, Wanda sends another.

“It’s that bad? I’ll be straight over.” She promises, and Y/N goes back to staring at herself in the mirror, unable to tear her gaze away from the word which is now on her side. From a young age, Y/N and everyone else in this world were told that when they got older, the first words their soulmate said to them would soon appear on their body somewhere, disappearing only when they met the soulmate in question. And of course, it led to a lot of excitement and nervous apprehension as people wondered what words would be there, and imagined what scenario they’d meet their soulmate in. 

None more so than Y/N. As she grew up, she became an author, which meant that writing loving words about others became her job, and something she now has a huge amount of experience in. All day every day, she writes paragraph after paragraph of people describing how beautiful their partners are, how much their heart beats whenever they’re around, and how they want to spend the rest of eternity with them. And the entire time, Y/N’s own soulmate is in the back of her mind, as well as her hope that their first meeting is as romantic as her stories. So obviously, Y/N had grown to expect that the words - her words - that her soulmate would end up having on their skin would be something beautiful, like poetry.

Unfortunately for Y/N, though, it seems her soulmate didn’t have the same consideration for her.

Because there, on her side, emblazoned in huge letters is one single word. “Fuck.” “It’s not that bad.” Wanda soothes as she studies the word. Thankfully, she showed up soon after receiving Y/N’s text for moral support. 

“Yes, it is! Today I wrote someone saying their lover’s eyes are as bright as the stars, and with them they feel whole. And do I get that? No, I get ‘Fuck!’”

“Maybe he’s saying ‘Fuck.’ but then he says ‘you’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen’?”

“Or it could be ‘fuck’ because they stepped on my toes. Or maybe they dropped coffee on me? Or-” Y/N shakes her head, trying to shake herself out of her panic. Yet, it only intensifies. “And besides, it’s such a general word! What if I get confused and think someone else is my soulmate?”

“That isn’t going to happen. Personally, I think we have a strong, intense emotional bond with them, so we’ll just know it’s them when we see them.”

“You’re such a romantic, Wanda.”

“Says you.” She rolls her eyes. When Y/N freaks out a little again, Wanda shushes her with a gentle: “Calm down. You’re going to give me a headache at this rate. And besides, it could be worse! Mine is ‘Hello there���. What even is that?!” she groans, taking another sip from her drink.

“Oh please, yours is suave and sophisticated.” Y/N argues. “Maybe it’s a ‘Hello there.’” She mimes a smirk, looking Wanda up and down. “And then he says, ‘may I just say that you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen?’”

“Either that or they’re doing a horrendously bad Obi-Wan Kenobi impression.” Wanda counters, making her and Y/N dissolve into fits of giggles. “But seriously. You don’t know what causes him to say that. Nobody does. That’s the beauty of soulmates.” She grins reassuringly. “And besides, I’m sure it’ll be a funny story to tell your kids one day.” 

And for a while, her reassuring words worked, and Y/N's feelings about the word permanently inked onto her side improved slightly. But the longer time went on without meeting her soulmate, Y/N started to think they don’t exist at all. And what’s worse, she’d be stuck with this single word on her side for the rest of her life, an enduring reminder of her failure to find her true love.

A few months later,

Y/N walks down the street, preoccupied by her phone call. Her publisher has been ringing her almost every day this week, desperate to know when they can expect her next manuscript. The same manuscript that’s been sitting incomplete on her laptop for the last several months. Understandably, love hasn’t been high on the list of Y/N’s priorities ever since she realised what her soulmate’s first word to her was. 

When she catches sight of herself in a shop window, noticing the hem of her sweater has ridden up, exposing the k and most of the c of the word on her side, it makes her feel worse. Of course, she still hasn’t found her soulmate. Nothing like yet another reminder of how you’re failing in life. Quickly rolling down her sweater, covering the word that seems to be burned into her skin by this point, Y/N keeps walking. In a last-ditch attempt to find some productivity and get this fucking manuscript finished, she’s decided to visit her favourite coffee shop. That and she just really wants an iced coffee. 

“When…if I ever find my soulmate, I’m going to give them a piece of my mind.” She huffs, reaching out to grab the door handle to the coffee shop. Before she can open it, the door slams open, almost hitting her in the face. Luckily, Y/N manages to dodge the figure that almost crashes into her. This is the last fucking thing she needs right now. She rounds on the man, ready to give him a piece of her mind, to ask him, no, demand that he looks where he’s going next time, and be careful!

That’s what she wanted to say. What she should’ve said.

The beautiful pair of blue eyes she suddenly finds herself staring into stops her. As blue as the sky on a gorgeous summer's day, as blue as the ocean, inviting her into their depths. This man is gorgeous. His muscles bulge out through the blue shirt (the same colour as his eyes) he has opened over a vest top. His brunette hair is pulled into a man bun, a few loose tendrils sticking out. The man’s eyes widen as he takes her all in, realising how close he came to spilling his coffee all over her. 

And then he speaks.

“Fuck.” He murmurs, his voice just loud enough for her and only her to hear. Immediately, Y/N registers her heartbeat stop.

“What did you just say?” She gasps. Instead of repeating his words, the man’s eyes widen even more, almost bulging out of his head. He rolls down the sleeve of his shirt, displaying the slowly fading words printed on his shoulder. 

“What did you just say?”

“Does yours say ‘fuck’, by any chance?” The man chuckles, still clearly in shock, and wordlessly, Y/N nods, lifting her sweater to show him.

“Oh, my god.” They both speak at the same time. The man holds a hand out, which Y/N shakes. “I’m Bucky. It’s wonderful to finally meet you.” Nervously he rubs the back of his neck, and Y/N notices a burst of pink spreading across his cheeks. “Can I just say you look absolutely gorgeous?” He stammers a little. “Sorry, I’m not entirely sure what I’m supposed to say right now. It’s not everyday you meet your soulmate.”

“We have a strong, intense emotional bond with them, so we’ll just know it’s them when we see them.” Wanda’s words echo in her mind, and Y/N’s shock turns into a smile, all thoughts of giving her soulmate a piece of her mind gone as quickly as the word on her side. At first she brushed Wanda’s words aside, but she’s actually totally right. Being with Bucky, it finally feels right. Like the missing pieces she’s spent so long looking for are finally in place.

“I know.” Y/N nods. “But it’s completely understandable. To be honest, I’m still in shock too. I’m Y/N by the way.” 

"Y/N." Bucky smiles.“I am sorry for almost spilling my coffee over you.” He chuckles, and Y/N giggles. 

“Already forgotten about.”

“I, um, I need to head off, but how about we grab some dinner tonight?” Bucky grins. “We have a lifetime to catch up on.” 

“Sounds wonderful.” Y/N smiles.

It may not have been the most perfect meeting… at least, not compared to her romance novels, but Y/N doesn’t care. Because it turned out to be perfect for her.

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