#do i think colin has flaws? HELL YEAH!!!!

[dollypopup]

a (not)short list of unpopular polin opinions

+Colin saying that he 'found/met himself' on his travels is GOOD, actually, and Penelope should be overjoyed that her friend put that kind of work into himself. she should be happy the letters between them were genuine connection instead of him using her as 'free therapy' as some people like to state

+Colin is not using Penelope as free therapy, ffs

+Colin's line about not courting Penelope couldn't have possibly 'ruined her prospects' because she already had 0 prospects

+Colin caring about Marina even after everything went down is proof he has a good heart and nature and would make an excellent partner. (do i think he should have visited her still? no, i think she deserves her privacy, but Colin didn't do anything wrong in the S1 situation and him coming to check on her, being nice to her husband and her children, and feeling concern about her happiness is HEAPS better than how other men in this series have treated their previous romantic partners)

+Penelope being upset he isn't interested in her is 100000% valid. Cutting him out of her life for it however is toxic as hell (and celebrating her 'ghosting' him is very telling)

+Penelope was SUPER out of line multiple times w/ Colin, in particular when he's clearly heartbroken. Nearly confessing her crush on him in S1 was bad and selfish (his engagement JUST blew up very publicly by her hand) and when he comes back from traveling (aka: trying to heal after said blow up) asking about women he met is very tone deaf. reminding him she herself is a woman is ALSO very tone deaf

+Penelope has been and continues to be a bad friend to him, partly by her own admission when he complimented her on being a loyal person and she said she didn't deserve that (good news: this means she can have a character arc becoming a better one!)

+Calling Colin 'stupid' or an 'idiot' simply because he doesn't realize Penelope has a crush on him or for verbalizing things poorly is ableist and it needs to stop being so normalized in this fandom

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 107: Mindful Education

“But it’s not, but it’s not, but it’s not, but it’s not, but it’s not.”

Here Comes a Thought is anything but a bad song. I can’t think of any songs I dislike from this show, but if I did, Here Comes a Thought wouldn’t be one of them. It’s a simple and moving ode to calming down, and Estelle and AJ Michalka elevate its message through their otherworldly voices.

But I do think it’s the most technically flawed song on Steven Universe. Which is a real bummer of a way to start this review, but I’m about to heap a ton of praise on this episode, and I don’t think the lyrical flaws ruin the song, let alone the overall story, so let’s just get my issues out of the way. If Mindful Education is about anything, it’s about confronting problems head-on!

Here Comes a Thought is a general song about a general problem, which I appreciate. I don’t need it to be specific to Connie’s dilemma, and in fact I think specificity would hurt the message. But my biggest gripe is that even though it speaks in broad strokes, none of the scenarios listed apply to Connie. “What someone said, and how it harmed you”? Connie wasn’t hurt by words. “Something you did that failed to be charming”? Connie wasn’t attempting to be charming. “Things that you said are suddenly swarming”? Connie didn’t say anything. We’re all the way to the refrain, and Garnet has yet to address the actual situation Connie is dealing with.

The closest we’ve got is “failed to be charming,” which again, implies that Connie was trying to impress someone rather than just going about her business and hurting someone by instinct. The phrasing is clumsy in a way Rebecca Sugar’s songs virtually never are: what I love about her lyrics is how natural and effortless they seem, which I’m certain comes from quite a bit of effort on her part. The sentence structure of “Something you did that failed to be charming” feels strained and unnatural, but the words must be said in this order for the rhyme and meter to work.

Which is doubly frustrating because the alarm/harm/charm series ends with swarm, which does not rhyme with the former three words in any dialect of English I know of. I’m not even a stickler for rhymes: for instance, “alarm me” and “charming” technically don’t rhyme either, but they sound similar enough that the pattern holds. But swarm uses an entirely different vowel than most other English words ending in -arm. I majored in linguistics and can get into serious weeds here with the International Phonetic Alphabet, but to make a long ramble shorter, the ‘w’ preceding the vowel alters it, which is why wart doesn’t rhyme with art and war doesn’t rhyme with bar and warn doesn’t rhyme with yarn and so on.

(This obviously doesn’t make Sugar a bad songwriter, any more than William Blake was a bad poet because he rhymed eye with symmetry in The Tyger. Nobody’s perfect, but that doesn’t mean nobody’s incredible.)

Anyway, I might be fine with this imperfect rhyme it if it was absolutely essential for the song, but the structure is so forced already to fit with this poor fourth rhyme that it sorta falls apart for me, especially because swarming comes at the moment it becomes clear that this song has said nothing about the issue Connie is personally dealing with.

Ugh. I’m losing sight. I’m losing touch. All these little things seem to matter so much that they confuse me. This song might lose me!

So yeah, I’m not insane enough to think that Here Comes a Thought was engineered to irk me just so the beautiful refrain can be a self-demonstrating affair in not letting small things like rhyme schemes get to me, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t work. The song builds and builds and builds the stress by presenting bad situation after bad situation, and right when everything seems like it will fall apart, Garnet has the answer.

This is a highly quotable song and episode, so I had a lot of great lines to choose from for the header, but I don’t think anything matches the sheer relief that ironically comes from Garnet’s repeating a negative phrase. She usurps the power of “no” away from anxiety by chanting that no, nothing bad is going to happen. Her knowing smile on the last “but it’s not” seals the deal. She’s not just a teacher here, she’s a sage.

This is Estelle’s first full song on the show since Stronger Than You, and she pulls off subdued chill just as well as glorious anthem without losing an ounce of her commanding presence. But now she's fully matched by AJ Michalka, another professional singer that doubles as a voice actor. Unlike Estelle, I hadn’t listened to any of Michalka’s music before watching Steven Universe, so despite knowing she wa a singer, the sheer power of her pipes came out of nowhere for me.

I honestly don’t know what it is about Michalka’s voice, but I’m lousy at crying even when I really want to because it would make me feel better, and that voice doesn’t just choke me up. It makes me weep. The quavering vulnerability in “I’m losing touch” destroys me no matter how many times I listen to this song. Just writing about it makes me emotional. Michalka tells a story not just with her words, but the tone and levels of confidence of her voice, and the lesson is learned by harmonizing with the master herself. On the one hand, I’m glad her voice’s heartbreaking purity isn’t diluted by constant performances, but on the other, I’m not sure it’s possible for something so intense to be diluted. Add in the prominent harp, a fusion of the plucking from Steven’s ukulele and the gravitas from Connie’s violin, and I’m done for.

(My tendency to cry whenever Michalka sings might have to do with how well she’s primed on both occasions in the series: Estelle is a hell of a lead-in, while Escapism is introduced by a stirring callback to Greg’s guitar from Lion 3. But it’d be stupid not to credit the source, considering she’s the one that gets the waterworks going and she’s been spectacular at voicing Stevonnie from the start. It’s a damn shame Catra doesn’t get a song in She-Ra, but at least Michalka does a cover of the theme song.)

I haven’t even talked about the animation from Takafumi Hori, who gives a unique but familiar flair to the mindscape of Garnet and Stevonnie and their components. The facial animations and body language are given extra room to breathe, and the use of butterflies as symbols of fluttering stresses (butterflies in your brain are so much worse than butterflies in your stomach) pays off huge when we see them explode from Connie’s backpack. The unspoken story of Ruby focusing too hard on a single problem while Sapphire is overwhelmed by possibilities works wonders, and the fact that Connie’s problems are initially hidden hints at Steven also hiding problems, seeing as the kids are mirroring the Gems. Colin Howard and Jeff Liu would’ve been more than capable of crafting such a sequence, but bringing in a guest animator makes us pay special attention to this pivotal song.

Because yeah, this is an important song for Connie, but this is still Steven’s show, and it’s a huge song for Steven. In a brilliant development, it turns out his strangely normal behavior after the salvo of traumas at the end of Act II was intentionally strange, and Here Comes a Thought drags him kicking and screaming towards the true path to inner peace. You can’t, as he advises Connie right before Garnet steps in, “just try not to think about it.” The only way out is through, and it’s not gonna be easy.

Every fantastic aspect of Mindful Education benefits from fantastic pacing. Connie’s bad mood is established immediately, but so is Steven’s straining to be fun and upbeat. A series of questions pull us along: “What is Connie upset about?” becomes “How is Garnet going to help?” becomes “What is Steven upset about?” becomes “How is Connie going to help?” without missing a step. Both kids make us so worried, because Connie’s bad mood is out of nowhere, and Steven’s acceptance of his suffering is long overdue. Both sensations are heightened by the preceding episodes, as Steven has been acting way too okay with his mom being a killer, and we know Connie was enthusiastic about school in Buddy’s Book. So it’s such a relief to not only see their worries addressed, but to have an entire episode about addressing worries.

After three goofy episodes, Mindful Education transitions us into a more serious mood with a similarly goofy opening. Sure, Connie’s attitude is cause for concern, but we still get Garnet’s enthusiasm and sign-making skills, Stevonnie’s newfound ability to do a Yoshi-style flutter kick hover, and the most glorious fusion dance ever depicted on screen.

Here Comes a Thought is a showstopper about calm meditation, and while it obviously soothes Connie’s anxieties, it also quiets down the silliness without making a big deal of it: there isn’t a single gag in the episode during or after the song. This is a show that can and has pulled off humor during dramatic moments, but we go full sincerity mode for Connie and Steven working through their emotional turmoil, and considering how big of a turning point this is for Steven’s arc in particular, I appreciate the restraint.

It’s perfect for Steven to only realize he has a problem when Connie is so open about hers, because Connie has always been a catalyst for change, and Steven is more concerned about others than himself. It also serves for a checkpoint for their mutual character growth: we’re a long way from the open-to-a-fault Steven and pragmatic-to-a-fault Connie of Bubble Buddies, and their series-long balancing act continues to bring their attitudes closer together. This isn’t the last we’ll see of Sullen Connie, and it’s nice to see that Steven isn’t the only kid on the block who’s becoming more of a teen. 

Another sign of their growth is shown in the fluid action of Stevonnie’s training; even when they’re not on the top of their game, Steven and Connie’s developing physical skill is on full display as their fusion weaves about the battlefield. Stevonnie’s ambidexterity functions well as a signifier of which kid is in a healthier state: Steven’s shield is in their right hand in the first training session, while Connie’s sword takes its place in the second.

(Oh, and on the subject of subtle visual storytelling, don’t think we didn’t notice the damaged pink diamond floating above the Sky Arena.)

The first two acts of Mindful Education tell such a complete story about Connie that the appearance of a butterfly for Steven almost comes across as a twist: again, his terrible advice about bottling up emotions upon accidentally hurting people is a pretty big hint that he’s pushing down his feelings, but this is such a satisfactory episode already that its conclusion feels like a bonus. 

It’s harrowing for Steven to start working through how much horrible stuff has happened in such a short amount of time, but it’s oh so satisfying for us to finally see him process it. The transformation of Holo Pearl into Jeff (who I’m sure is named for Mr. Liu) was a neat way to show Connie’s guilt, but it’s complemented by a punch to the gut as Stevonnie impales an image of Bismuth instead of just getting thrown off by the illusion. And because Steven has let his problems pile up, the rest of his ghosts flood in. I love the inclusion of Eyeball, the foe that Steven logically should feel the least amount of guilt about (Bismuth was a friend, and Jasper refused help while blaming him, but Eyeball was an enemy actively trying to kill him). It shows that he really does care about everyone, and that the compounding problems only make the guilt worse: Bismuth and Jasper begin in their normal sizes, but Eyeball is massive in Stevonnie’s imagination. And then, as a horrible distortion of her theme heralds her arrival, we get the most important ghost in the series.

Obviously Steven isn’t able to deal with the Rose factor right now, but acknowledging that there’s a problem is the first and hardest step. And despite how talented Aivi and Surasshu are at enhancing the mood with music, there’s nothing like the stark silence that follows Rose’s theme to bring the impact home.

AJ Michalka once again shows off her talent for voicing Steven and Connie separately as Stevonnie has an internal conversation; it’s such a seamless interaction that it’s easy to forget that this scene shifts from one actor voicing these two characters to two different actors voicing the same two characters as Steven and Connie plummet to the ground. I mentioned in The Answer that my favorite Miyazaki movie is Castle in the Sky, so I’m thrilled to see another reference to two heroes falling hand in hand before slowing to a safe landing.

Our conclusion isn’t about Steven coming to terms with three failures in a row and a life-changing revelation. It’s about him realizing that it’s okay to admit that everything isn’t okay, and that he doesn’t have to put on a bald cap and be a ham to make everyone else more comfortable. This is something that friends can help with, but that he ultimately has to figure out for himself. Still, it’s beautiful that by working together, he and his best friend become strong in the real way.

But of course, they had help. I mentioned in Back to the Moon that our Big Three Crystal Gems each get an episode that acts as an epilogue to their Act II arcs, and it’s Garnet’s turn. Garnet begins Act II as a leader who’s quiet about being a fusion and who has a hard time understanding the anxieties of her less confident teammates. By the end, she transforms into a leader who’s more open and willing to share her own vulnerabilities, and a loud and proud fusion no matter whom she’s interacting with. Mindful Education leans in hard on her expertise in fusion, but just as importantly shows that she’s willing to coach others by revealing how Ruby and Sapphire work through struggles. Her growth is less overt than Amethyst and Pearl overcoming more obvious hurdles, but it’s still hard to imagine Garnet being this capable of helping Connie and Steven fifty episodes ago.

Garnet is also the source of two intriguing callbacks in the form of quoting past lines. The first is the wonderful “Hold the phone. Now give the phone to me,” which Steven tells Greg in The Message as a means of interrupting his song about Lapis Lazuli being a super mean riptide queen (sidenote: I’m sure Lapis would be flattered by Greg’s assessment). Garnet repeats this phrase right after Steven suggests that you can get used to not thinking about your guilt, and it’s a brilliant way of gently putting a stop to this bad idea.

The second is a pointed “that is to say” as she explains the importance of harmony within fusion. This is a common enough phrase, but it was so prominent in fellow sparring episode Sworn to the Sword that I can’t imagine it’s a coincidence. It connects Garnet to Pearl’s role as a teacher to both Steven and Connie; fortunately, this time the teacher is instilling a message of self-reflection instead of self-sacrifice.

I call these callbacks intriguing because Garnet herself wasn’t present for either scene containing the lines she’s quoting. And sure, this could just be standard screenplay magic without an in-universe explanation. But to me, it enhances the sense of Garnet as an all-knowing mentor, at least as far as this episode is concerned. Her wisdom is absolute, and it might be pretentious for a show to claim such certainty with its message, but Mindful Education has an outstanding message, so I’m all in.

But back to that ending for a second. It, like Here Comes a Thought, provides a calming answer to a scene of turmoil. It’s obviously a quicker moment of relief: just a glimpse of Stevonnie laughing, catching their breath, and reassuring Steven and Connie. However, like Here Comes a Thought, the episode keeps going. This time, in the form of the end credits. 

Since Bubbled, we’ve heard nothing but ambient waves as the credits roll, bereft of the comfort Love Like You has provided after nearly every prior episode. But now we begin the reprise, and this first segment is such an eerie departure from the norm that serenity once again takes a backseat.

With time, it’s revealed that this song is just more Love Like You. But in this period of uncertainty in Steven’s life, I deeply admire the decision to keep us lost in the woods for a while before figuring out that it’s something we’ve known all along. Just a thought.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Remember my gripes with Here Comes a Thought, way up there at the beginning of the review? Yeah, they don’t keep this out of my top ten.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

When It Rains

Catch and Release

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

No Thanks!

     5. Horror Club      4. Fusion Cuisine      3. House Guest      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

[victorianwestpiano]

Dumbo (2019) My Real Thoughts about the Movie:

For the ones who follow me or seen my posts you’d probably know that I love Dumbo 2019 movie and...yeah I really do! But that is more of a personal opinion, if I have to be real straight forward and honest I do recognise that this film has some flaws. But before talking about the movie I’ll talk about… well, the movie.

When I first heard about Dumbo I’d become completely excited, because I haven’t seen a Tim Burton movie on movie theatres in a long time, also Colin Farrell (who never worked with Burton before) and Eva Green they’ll be in it, two of my favourite actors working together for the first time with one of my favourite directors. The thing is that I read the news on 2017! So I waited two years for the film, because of that I started to imagine how the movie would be like (that was my foult not the movie’s) . When you wait this long for something feels weird when it finally comes, I mean, after watching it you would be like, so what the hell I’m gonna do now? I alredy saw it so...what’s next? That’s what I felt I guess.

But the thing that drove my off a little bit is that�� after searching and searching for news and updates from Dumbo,someone oppenly, spoiled the ending! And if you know how the movie ended..well …I kinda predicted that it would end that way but I never thought it would actually happen. 

Other thing is that at the beggining of March the reviews started to come, I’ve only read some of the headlines( I’ll never read the reviews, ever) and they weren’t that positive, it really uppset me, that kept me from enjoying the movie and I know it shouldn’t because they are reviews, they’re not gonna make the film worse or better, just opinions, but still…

When finally I get to watch the film, that day, wasn’t pleasent at all. Not because of the movie but because of myself and the athmosfere of the movie theatre I was in. I couldn’t stop thinking about those review headlines. But it get worse because I started to feel pains in my stomach and in the middle of the movie I wanted to go to the bahroom so badly, last but not least, there was an annoying kid with his family several seats away from me on my left (those seats were empty so he could run back and forth back and forth over and over again making noises) I still hate that child till this day!!!

All of that kept me from enjoying the movie in the way I wanted. But leaving that aside, I really liked the movie with it’s characters, comedy, sad moments, the good acting, good effects, amazing sets and  the most beautiful costume design I’ve ever seen, also of course Danny Elfman’s score here was one of the most hounting of his work. Dumbo himself I’m gonna to say it… it’s FREAKING ADORABLE!!!

The flaws? well just 2: the pacing it’s kind of inconsistant, for example: the tranition between Max’s circus to Dreamland was incredibly rushed. Some other scenes felt like that too, just a few more minutes would’ve been better.                   The second is the last third of the film, which it wasn’t bad but it felt a little forced, like a Free Willie cliché, even though it is not a cliché I hate is still a cliché.

I haven’t watched Dumbo since the first time I watched it (6 months ago) not either clips, but I have a good memory and I still remember it. I prefear to let time pass and watch it again with a new perpective, that’s what I think Dumbo deserves: being seen with an open and different POV.

I’m forgetting the headlines little by little thank God, besides even though the film wasn’t that loved in the USA, it was very well recieved in another countries like Spain and the UK. My country loved it too and it give it 4 out of 5 stars it  stayed here in the movie theatres for 4 months, that surprised me!

The movie didn’t bomb let’s be honest, it didn’t recieve as much money as other remakes that were obvious cash-grabbers. But I think Dumbo wasn’t supposed to be a cash-grabber like Aladdin or Beauty and the Beast, I think people nowdays want every movie to be like Endgame (which I never saw and never will). Dumbo did surpassed it’s budget pretty well, but again, it was just supposed to be a cute, simple and heartwarming film, and it is. 

Dumbo is not 100% perfect but when it does good, does really good, it has a special place in my heart and I’m completely glad I saw it. I believe it deserves a second chance. This is probably the Disney live-action remake that took more risks, one of Tim Burton’s most ambitious and beautiful films and the effort what was put on the picture was great!

[killian-whump]

So. I have an ask in my inbox, and I can’t decide if I should post it or not. On the one hand, Nonny seems genuinely enthused about Colin’s latest project, and optimistic about his future career... but on the other hand, they’re saying that they don’t think TRS will ultimately help that career, and implying that he isn’t getting any younger, so he’d better get a major project soon.

Like, I honestly can’t tell if this is a Colin fan voicing some legitimate concerns... or a naysayer including nicer-than-usual things in the hopes I’ll post their accompanying negative opinions on my blog.

And it’s fucking ridiculous that this is even an issue.

Colin’s fans should be able to run blogs, flail about his projects, go on about his complete and total perfection as a human being, talk about how everything he does is the best there is, was and ever will be, open up about our actual concerns or criticisms... and, in general, be fans... without having to constantly defend ourselves (and Colin) against people who purport to be “fans” of his but truly want him to fail in everything he does post-Once, so that the work he did with their favorite actress will remain all he’s known for, or justify our adoration of him in light of the fact that “he has flaws” and that we’re apparently doing a dis-service to him and fandoms at large for not acknowledging them in each and every post we make.

And then people wonder why Colin’s fans keep wanting to distance themselves from this kind of shit and those kinds of “fans”. And when we DO try to distance ourselves, we’re painted as bad guys who are “bullying” others and being “non-inclusive”. Well, fuck that shit. I can’t even answer an ask on my fan blog without worrying I’m inadvertently giving haters a podium to spew their hate from. The only ones being mis-treated here are US... and hell yeah, we’re being non-inclusive! If you’re a fucking asshole, no one wants you at their party. And it’s not like we need to include you, anyway - y’all keep showing up like bad fucking pennies anyway. Even when we TRY to disinclude you, you’re still there, pounding on our doors and sending us asks like, “I’m a huge Colin fan, but let’s be honest...” and spending the rest of your allotted word count dissing him in every conceivable way.

Just stop. Stop being assholes. It’s not like it’s hard.

And Nonny, I’m really sorry if you’re not an asshole (and I even suspect that you’re not), but there’s just too many assholes in the woodwork right now, and I’m not comfortable taking that chance right now.

[nicknederson]

For the Sake of Content: Sara Reads the Hardy Boys Adventures Series Because She Has a Lot of Credit on Google Play and Not a Lot Going On, Admittedly

Hardy Boys Adventure #2: The Mystery of the Phantom Heist

(or) Some Girl Just Has the Worst Party Ever and It's Not Like the Hardy Brothers Help

The SWS! (Summary without Spoilers)

Brothers Frank and Joe are trying out for the role of Roman gladiators with their friend Chet and, no, it's not for any sort of production of Caesar. Instead, the boys are applying for a position as waiters at the Sweet Sixteen of local rich girl Lindsay Peyton. When Chet is rejected, Frank and Joe quickly give up that venture (and subsequently forget about the whole thing) only to stumble across a group of violent pranksters called the Scaredevils plaguing the city of Bayport. Is this just the latest viral video campaign or something far more sinister? Frank and Joe will find out... eventually.

The Review! (spoilers below the cut)

I think I should start out by saying that yes, I am not the biggest fan of the Hardy Boys. For a while now, I've seen their adventures as the try-hard, pseudo-masculine version of Nancy Drew (which is not an incorrect statement) and I just really can't wrap my head around why their aunt lives with them among other things. I hated how the first book in the new series went and I sort of hated this second installation, too. Why? Well, to put it simply- these brothers are dumb.

Is it their fault? Probably not, they're just fictional characters. Is it the author's fault? Definitely- what the hell were they thinking? For starters, you have the boys going to interview for the job of waiters at Lindsay Peyton's party. They make these really gross, derogatory comments about Lindsay while looking at her portrait and then, later, when they actually meet her, they continue making gross comments about her. It's part of this trend I've seen in the two books where the boys view girls in three ways: the hot undesirable (because of personality or some sort of flaw in her very one-dimensional character), the hot desirable (usually a nerdy girl with brown hair like Janine Kornbluth or, in this book, Sierra), and the sister. The sister is just that- the sister of one of their male classmates or friends. In the last book, we had Sharelle and in this book we had Iola. These girls tend to be more fleshed out, but only in the sense that they do traditionally 'tougher' things like saving the boys (Sharelle) or fending off attacks against them (like Iola does in this book). Now these are just the girls the boys interact with that are their own age- the others are all older women like their mother or Aunt Trudy who don't really do anything except fill in some necessary exposition or feed them. Which is another weird thing- Aunt Trudy is their housekeeper? Does their aunt live with them because their mom just doesn't like doing household things that their stay-at-home dad never seems to do? I didn't read enough of the older books to understand this.

But other than the very one-dimensional female characters the boys interact with, there are also plenty of male characters that don't get enough personality- including the boys themselves. The chapters switch between Frank and Joe's perspective and it's a quirk that almost does nothing for the book because- quite frankly- I cannot tell them apart either way. Joe is supposed to be the kooky, funny brother, but Frank always seems to make the same wry jokes. Frank is supposed to be sensible, but he's not exactly making any decisions Joe isn't making. It's really just a useless ploy the Adventures books use and a pain in the ass for readers who have to occasionally flip back to the beginning to check to see what boy they're supposed to be reading from the perspective of. All that said, these are just problems with the general format of the series and not even the problems with this book- Mystery of the Phantom Heist- in particular. Because this book has some problems. A lot of them.

As I said earlier, the boys seem impossibly dumb. And I'm not just saying this as a general statement, but in the very first few chapters, we have them leaving the Peytons' house only to discover that Lindsay's car has been keyed with the rude phrase 'Rich Witch'. Now, for some reason, the boys relate this to a prank video they had been watching some minutes earlier where a boy chucks a slushie at an unsuspecting drive-through attendant. Why? I have no idea why, but they do turn out to be related so I guess that was the book's way of telling us that right from the get-go. Keep in mind, these same types of jumped-to conclusions disappear in the latter half of the book when they would rightfully make sense. But more on that later- for now, we're still talking about the keyed car.

After leaving the Peytons' house, the boys see this keyed car in their driveway and don't do anything about it. No, in fact, Joe touches the vandalized car- several times- and the boys make comments about how it's too bad for Lindsay while implying that it's what she gets for being a bitch. They do not- in any way- put together two and two and realize that they'd just walked out on the Peytons' house after being 'rejected' from the position as waiters and that this vandalism could easily be seen as something they did to get back at the family. They don't seem to realize that at all. So they go with their friend to some generic burger place to get some generic burgers- all while commenting on how gross Lindsay is and how cute Frank found Sierra- only to get into a disagreement with some boys from Bay Academy.

Now, this is another thing that I have a problem with when it comes to the Adventures series and their attempt at world-building. It is very one-dimensional and it doesn't try to be inventive in the way it takes this small town and tries to make it something new. Instead of creative, new takes on things, we have the age old rivalry of public school vs. private school in Bayport High School and Bay Academy. The Bay Academy boys are brutish, entitled, and drive around in Mercedes Benz with vanity plates that say 'Awesome Dude' while harassing bus boys at the local burger place. Frank and Joe- mimicking this psuedo-masculine sensibility that comes from older books- decide to stand up to them for this great unjustice, but keep in mind, these are the same boys who saw someone's car vandalized and decided to just walk away without even informing the owner because they just plain didn't like them. This entire scene goes down in such a robotic, bizarre way up until the police arrive. As another testament to how dumb the brothers seem to be this entire book, they assume the police are there to arrest the trouble-making Bay Academy boys.

Which... ?????

No, actually, the police are here to arrest them because they were the idiots who had a disagreement with the Peytons' and then did nothing when they saw their car vandalized in the driveway and just carried on their merry way. "Oh, but we didn't do it!" Yeah, but it clearly looks like you did, genius. This could have been easily avoided if you'd paid attention for five whole seconds and realized you couldn't just leave after seeing Lindsay's car vandalized. But whatever! This is just a children's book, right? So whatever.

The boys get dragged into the police station and you'd think it would be no big deal because they're chummy with the police, but oh no- big plot twist, the one officer on the entire force who doesn't like them is chief now. Hm, wow, hate it when that happens. This will become a recurring problem throughout the book when Chief Olaf- who is just so poorly characterized you cannot tell if he's evil or just stupid or maybe both- constantly acts as a roadblock for the boys' progress on the case. If you could call it a case. Which I wouldn't. Because they don't seem to really know what's going on until about chapter... thirteen.

After making it clear that the boys are suspected of being the vandals, the book switches gears to just sort of divulging into a mess of Joe frequently checking YouTube videos posted by the vandals and the boys always being a second too late to stopping them. I would admit that was a cynical view of what happens, but it's actually not too far from the truth. It's only about half-way through the book that the boys do any sort of detective work and even then, it's incredibly simple. Frank recognizes someone in one of the Scaredevil videos, but can't figure out who it is. But, oh, Tony Riley from school is here and wow, he's got a really obvious scratch on his face and he's carrying around a jacket with a bandanna hanging out of his pocket JUST LIKE IN THE VIDEO.

Is it really detective work if you just spot something hanging out of someone's pocket? I don't think so- no.

Especially when the person makes it very obvious that they now have money when they shouldn't and leave their phone on the table while going to check on their car supposedly being keyed only for Joe to just go through their texts and find the ringleader. Who is it? Surprise, the only person who it could possibly be since he's been a violent and very obnoxious character from his introduction. This would be Bay Academy's Colin Sylvester. Colin Sylvester is apparently not Bayport's sweetheart but naturally, the boys can't go to the police with their suspicions because the police outright say that they won't investigate him since his parents donate to the police station. While this very apparent corruption of the legal system in Bayport feels like a problem they should look into, the boys ignore it in favor of doing some other inane things around town trying to figure out how to pin Colin with the crime.

When their garage gets burned down, the boys get video evidence of the arson with Colin's voice on the recording saying 'this will keep the police busy', but since seeing the chief is apparently inconvenient, they just skip over that bit for a few chapters until it becomes relevant again. Now, this is also one of those books where it very obviously plots the clues out in verbal cues throughout the boys' activities- we have exhibit A, exhibit B, and exhibit C all happening in succession, but of course Frank and Joe don't pay it any mind since it doesn't mean much of anything to them until much later when they finally string everything together. I understand that's a tactic used in these kinds of mysteries, but it's also so painful for the reader to have to sit through clue after clue falling into the boys' laps while they just idle around waiting for the big reveal to happen. We have everything written out for us- the least the author could do is let our protagonists agonize over it a little bit longer. The Hardy Brothers don't seem to want to spare the time to do that when they could be, say, going on dates with pretty girls.

This brings up the issue of Sierra- the party planner of Lindsay's Sweet Sixteen and Frank's crush. Sierra- from chapter one- is clearly pegged as a potential culprit, but the boys don't seem to realize this until they physically see her with Colin later in the book. It takes them an impossibly long time to realize Sierra is up to no good even when her erratic actions- like asking them out on a boat that subsequently breaks, lying about what she was doing for the five whole minutes they were on the boat, and becoming defensive when they catch her in the lie- are a clear indicator that she's up to something. Even when Joe is the first one to realize she might not be up to par, Frank is so adamant in his misplaced trust of her that he refuses to listen to his brother. So we have a clear culprit who is only ignored because Frank thinks she's pretty. I'm dead serious. These boys also don't seem to realize that going onto a boat that isn't rightfully theirs without Sierra is a clear set-up to get them into further trouble with the Peytons. And when the throttle breaks, it takes them a second to realize another way to stop the boat is to turn it off.

Frank's obliviousness concerning Sierra is also another reason the boys decide not to trail her and Colin when they see them leave the movie theater after they spent an entire night trying to stake out Colin to see what he was up to. Frank is just too sad after seeing them making-out to continue their detective work and can't believe she would do this to him. Is it really that hard to believe, Frank? No, because it's very obvious.

Other parts of the book feel as equally pointless or misplaced- the strangely high-tech device one of their dad's former co-workers give them that echos with the ridiculous tech they used in the over-wrought Undercover Brothers series, how easily the boys give up when questioning involved persons or how slow they are to piece things together, the fact that the boys still refer to girlfriends as someone's 'girl' despite it being the early 2000s, and even the very ending of the book. The mystery itself is very clever and somewhat interesting, but the execution is lazy at best- made especially apparent in the last chapter. The Scaredevils- the gang acting as the mysterious culprit- is a group of people that, as the boys learn, are being paid off by Colin Sylvester to commit various acts of vandalism and destruction around Bayport. They start fights, they graffiti things, and they leave their mark on plenty of objects all while uploading videos of their barely concealed faces to YouTube to document their reign of terror. There's also a little bit where Frank and Joe seem surprised that girls could be involved in this scheme that just made me roll my eyes. But the scheme itself is hinted at being part of a larger plot to keep the police around Bayport busy so that none can act as guards at Lindsay Peyton's Sweet Sixteen- the biggest event in Bayport this year. Sounds interesting, right?

Well, it is- until you learn that this entire scheme is just Colin getting revenge against Lindsay for never going on a date with him and not letting him be friends with her. As to why Sierra is a part of this, there's no given reason besides that she happens to be dating Colin at the time. Seriously, no reason given. And while there could have easily been a way to spin Colin's discontent at being rejected, the very ending trips over itself on its way to the point when it seems to remember it's called 'The Mystery of the Phantom Heist'. Huge spoiler alert, guys: there is no Phantom Heist.

Colin and his friends easily infiltrate the party at the end and- after using a very obvious scheme to get the guards outside- proceed to pull guns on the guests and demand their valuables. Seems pretty scary, right? Well, it probably would have been if there had been any thought to it. The guns are fake, the guards get back in easily because no one bothered to bar the doors, and the police show up in seconds after the boys go through the erroneous steps of disarming Colin and his buddies because they didn't even take the guests' phones away so it was incredibly easy to call 911. Colin, Sierra, and his friends are all arrested and Lindsay declares the party back on and the relationship between Bay Academy and Bayport High School is superficially mended. Another joke is added to this when the boys express disbelief that they fought armed Roman gladiators at the party of the year and Chet chimes in with a joke about having recorded the whole thing. End book.

Now, this isn't just lazy writing, but a problem that I have with the entire Hardy Boys franchise. In that, it feels the need to step itself up to the point where it reaches unobtainable standards that it can never deliver on. For years, the boys have tried to reflect the 'masculine' side of detective work that their counterpart Nancy Drew apparently can't cover herself. There are gun fights, dramatic heists, and danger galore while the boys fight assassins and deadly ninjas and other some such exaggerated threats. This was all well and good back in the 1920s to 60s when the most dangerous thing Nancy dealt with in her stories was a fall from one foot too high, but in the modern era, we're seeing this attempted divide between the Drew Crew and the Hardy Boys being exaggerated to the point of ridiculousness. The predecessor to the Adventures series- the Undercover Brothers- borderlined on absolutely unrealistic with the way it had the boys hangliding over Ireland to escape armed gunmen while using a pizza box as a high-tech communication device. It was like James Bond for babies, but the lacksadaisal tone it set made it so high-fantasy it was impossible to relate to on so many levels. Seeing as these are books primarily aimed at a younger audience, it's disappointing to see that this standard of 'snails and puppy dog tails' vs 'sugar, spice, everything nice' is still being stuck to in these newer books. The Hardy Brothers shouldn't be this dumb, they shouldn't be this off-puttingly trusting, they shouldn't need fancy technology that doesn't even exist to make up for where their lack of intelligence and wit causes them problems, and I- as a reader- shouldn't have to see none all of these traits in Nancy, but all of them in her 'boy version'. One of the things that bothered me the most about Frank's complete trust in Sierra is that I knew that Nancy would never do that. She would see Sierra as a suspect from the beginning- male or female- and she wouldn't make the same erroneous mistakes that the boys do. It's almost like Nancy- as someone raised as a girl- knows not to trust people easily, treats undeserving people kindly, and always has to evaluate a situation for danger before she enters it. Weird, right?

Either the publisher needs to stop treating Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys as too wildly opposite sides of the spectrum or they need to get better ghostwriters on the HBAs. Because while I'm going to read the next book- The Vanishing Game- because I have the Google Play credit, I am not... going to enjoy it.

[pollaidh]

In-line meta 221B just before the hug

221B Scene. Discussion between John and Sherlock. End of TLD.

SHERLOCK: “Perhaps the drugs opened certain doors in my mind.” (Like closet doors, last time he took drugs, in TAB.) … “Intrigued.”

JOHN: Makes dismissive/semi-humorous comment showing Sherlock John’s care for him is merely duty, a duty he is sharing with others.

SHERLOCK: “I thought we were just hanging out.” The softening of Sherlock’s gaze at the end shows this is the truth. He wishes they were just hanging out, but he thinks John’s there out of duty, not because he wants to be. Reinforces this with: “I do think I can last 20 minutes without supervision.” (Duty again. The tiny self-deprecating smile at the end. He’s hoping John will joke back as usual, continue their old camaraderie. He’s setting up for a private joke, but John doesn’t respond.) Just says -

JOHN: “If you’re sure.” Doesn’t meet Sherlock’s eye, his gaze is straight ahead until the last second.

JOHN: Makes comment about going to Rosie.

SHERLOCK: (Voice soft). “I should come and see her.” (Beseeching look.) Unusually subdued. Ah yes, Rosie is the most important to him now. And instead of throwing out some joking, petulant statement, he calmly accepts he no longer can come first to John. The subtext: Do you still want me to be part of your life? Sherlock looks at John as John talks with head-Mary. John unsure how to take this - does Sherlock seriously want to spend time with Rosie?

  JOHN: Gives an unwelcoming yes. He’s not engaging.

SHERLOCK: Looks away. How to make him stay, how to get this back on the old footing? He taps his hand on side of mug - frustration, indecision. Pleased he has found something to say, he looks up. The case. Yes. John’s always interested in the case. That’s why he’s interested in Sherlock, for the excitement, the two of them fighting crime together. 

SHERLOCK: Starts in his light professional voice to discuss case. John isn’t thawing. Sherlock trails off with a little laugh. He’s nervous. 

JOHN: “That’s good.” (Low intonation at end, shutting down this conversation. Might as well have said ‘that’s nice.’)

(This part of the scene, the stops and starts, and averted looks, talking about anything but the real story, reminds me of the Mr Darcy meets Lizzie Bennet scene in the Colin Firth version: A couple who are in love but don’t know they are in love, have argued, and see each other again in difficult circumstances, don’t know what to say to each other, or how the other feels.)

JOHN: Clenches hand (sign of John’s stress that Sherlock must have picked up on over the years).

SHERLOCK: Looks to his tea. This isn’t going well. John is upset. John is leaving. He’s going to have to go deep.

SHERLOCK: “Are you okay?”

(Such a loaded question. This isn’t ‘how are you?’ as a greeting or a post-bomb check. His voice is raw, all pretence gone. He cares. It’s hard for men to get onto this plane of conversation. He REALLY cares.)

JOHN: Laughs, but returns.

SHERLOCK: Watches John’s reaction, accepts the anger he feels is his due. He knows he’s broken them so no smart arse comments, he doesn’t argue, he just accepts….

SHERLOCK: “In saving my life she conferred a value on it, a currency I do not know how to spend.” (Without you I don’t know why my life is. He earlier said he couldn’t commit suicide because of the value of his life to John, but he doesn’t know how to live if John doesn’t even want to be friends. He can’t live or die without John.)

JOHN: Still not forthcoming, but his choice of words “It is what it is” have deeper meaning for the audience. Could be interpreted by Sherlock as ‘tough, this is what we’ve got’.

SHERLOCK: Swallows. That’s all he’s getting. He’s glad to get that forgiveness (he thought he’d broken any feelings romantic/platonic John had for him. He can’t say anything here because John’s talking about Mary (on the surface), he’s still in love with her. Sherlock’s culpability (which he feels even if forgiven) means he can’t talk about her. He has no right.

JOHN: Back to his duty - he’s on the 6-10 watch. The meaningful moment is over.

SHERLOCK: Tears in his eyes. Bravado: “Looking forward to it.” It’s all he’s got left.

JOHN: “Yeah.” A blank little ‘yeah’ and an eye-roll. He’s not.

IRENE?: Text alert!!!

JOHN: Jealous.

SHERLOCK: Plays innocent. (Could he have set that up?) Starts analysing whilst John stalks back over. Why does Irene’s ringtone make him come back. John was always jealous of Irene. …

SHERLOCK: “Oh. Okay. That’s good.” (For John’s deduction. He has no idea what this will be, He’s wrapping a protective coat around himself. Complete change of tone - a subdued version of his own mocking tone. This tone last used when John asks him to be best man, and he really doesn’t understand what’s being asked. Eyes flicker, he’s analysing, possibly responding mentally. Sips tea at the end there too. (And why does he keep his birthday secret?) All very polite and formal between them.

JOHN: “Seriously, are we not going to talk about this?”

SHERLOCK: (This being him and John, or something else?) “What? (Doesn’t dare say anything leading.)

Clarify 2 X more. Normally Sherlock predicts what John will say but here he really doesn’t know.

JOHN: “Woman..”

SHERLOCK: Screws eyes shut. Seriously? FFS John, how dense can you be?

JOHN: Lots of subtext about losing chances, with a very hetero “mate” as last seen in TSoT.

SHERLOCK: WTF? How can John still think he’s in love with Irene Adler? He made this clear. He’s confused. Something he’s missing. Right. Revert to standard line. “Romantic entanglements, while fulfilling for other people…” (Is this because he thinks if John really thinks Sherlock’s in love with Irene, than all his assumptions about what is between them must be flawed.)

JOHN: Talks about chance. “Chances don’t last forever… gone before you know it.” 

(Surface - about Mary, which means Sherlock can’t really respond. Also foreshadowing Last Problem. Subtext - he’s talking about chances between him and Sherlock, and telling unwittingly telling Sherlock to go for it.)

SHERLOCK: Eyes fall. This hits hard, He knows he’s lost his chance with John, back before he realised he loved him. This is an incredibly raw moment. Sherlock has a raw, earnest expression. 

JOHN: Talks about needing someone who completes you and makes you a better person.

SHERLOCK: “Forgive me…... I can safely say..” You complete me, you taught me to be a better man. That’s what love is. You are the better man, and you taught me. Except he doesn’t get to finish what is basically a confession of love, unlike Culverton Smith, whose confession couldn’t be stopped.

JOHN: “I cheated.”

SHERLOCK: Utter shock. Did he really not know? Then he realises Mary’s in the room, in John’s head. How can he replace a dead person. It’s heart breaking watching John talk to his dead wife. Sherlock analysing - so he still sees her and talks to her, but he cheated. Sherlock calculating WTF is going on here?

JOHN: Confesses all to Mary, himself, and Sherlock. Subtext, despite Mary being the mother of his child, he still cheated. He was only with her for the baby, but even that couldn’t stop him wanting more.

JOHN: “But I wanted more.”

SHERLOCK: Analysing. More with Faith? Or more than he got from his relationship with Mary. More with Sherlock? This is the moment Sherlock starts to wonder if there’s still a chance. He raises a wondering gaze, dawning hope in his eyes. John wasn’t committed to Mary like he’d assumed. What does that mean? (Sherlock is probably never going to be great at understanding emotions, though he’s improving.

JOHN: “I still do.”

SHERLOCK: (With who?)

JOHN: “Not the guy you thought…” 

(Surface level to Mary and Sherlock - I’m not a good guy. Subtext - I’m not the (straight) guy you thought I was. John’s equating good and straight because of internalised homophobia.) “I never could be.” (He’s always been this way - hmm that sounds familiar.)

JOHN: “But that’s the point…” You love warts and all. 

SHERLOCK: Subtext: Sherlock can be loveable even though he’s not perfect. John could love Sherlock. 

JOHN: “Who you thought I was is the man I want to be.” (2 levels - good man/straight man. Equating these is a sign of his internalised homophobia. And he’s telling the audience and Sherlock, that they have made false assumptions (that’s he’s straight).

MARY-in-John’s-head: “Well, John Watson, get the hell with it.” 

(Emphasis on hell. John has seen Mary tell Sherlock to go to hell, so links hell with Sherlock. He’s telling himself to get the hell on and tell Sherlock before it’s too late.” What else could this refer to - the recovery at surface level (John, get the baby, come back to life), but it’s much much deeper. As John stares, Mary smiles and disappears. John’s two sides (the conflict between Mary/John in his head, AND his good and bad side, and his side where he loves women and side where he loves men). John is integrated again. He accepts himself, warts and all, good man and bad, and all parts of his sexuality.

JOHN: Sobs, overwhelmed. He has given himself permission to be the man he was always supposed to be, to love himself entirely.

SHERLOCK: Absolutely serious, raw, none of the usual jokes and mania or glee, just entirely genuine and natural, puts down his tea and slowly, quietly, goes to John to comfort him. (He presumably hasn’t heard Mary’s contribution in John’s head, only John’s side. So he only sees John admit to Mary that he cheated, that he’s not the guy they thought. He doesn’t know John has just told himself to go for it. He seems John overwhelmed with guilt, as he sees it, not relief.) THEY HUG.

Compared to the wedding hug, which was so awkward, like John teaching Sherlock to hug, this is so natural. Mr Homes knows exactly what to do. Sherlock still cautious. Not sure how he’ll be received, this is not the moment for any declarations. But the hand on John’s neck is possessive and intimate, and John lays his head against Sherlock’s chest.

SHERLOCK: Glances up at the sky (thank god? Is this right? Am I doing it right?) All he cares about is that John is hurting.

Like the scene at the end of TSoT when Sherlock deduces the pregnancy, leaving him to realise there’s no chance with John now, this is such a raw, open, tender scene. They are being honest with each other and within themselves. There are still some miscommunications to clear up, but they are born of love and waiting for the right moment.

[yahoo-puck-daddy-blog]

Puck Daddy Countdown: Tom Wilson, concussions and a huge cap increase

7. Tom Wilson and also the refs and also the league

This is getting ridiculous.

Like, OK, the argument from the Department of Player “Safety” is that yes, the hit on Jon Marchessault was late but there was no head contact and it’s not technically illegal to hit a guy from his blindside.

But keep in mind, when Matt Cooke basically ended Marc Savard’s career, putting a Legion of Doom-style spiked shoulder pad into a guy’s chin was also technically not illegal. Didn’t change the fact that Matt Cooke had a long and prosperous history of dirty hits most guys in the league who, y’know, have respect for their opponents’ safety, wouldn’t have even tried.

Honestly, in what way is Wilson, a useful player who also happens to be an injurious dumbass, different from Cooke, a similarly effective checking forward who plays to injure? I would love to have that explained to me by a Capitals fan whose brain functions properly.

But that’s the thing with Wilson’s hit. It wasn’t technically anything more than interference but everyone (save for the Tom Wilson stans, who are all sicko freaks) agrees it was late, and y’know maybe I’m crazy here, but it seems like you should have a reasonable expectation to not get drilled at 40 miles an hour by a guy you never saw coming nearly a full second after you got rid of the puck, which is already 20 feet away from you. It’s a predatory hit, full stop. His eyes got as big as saucers; he had plenty of time to not make that hit.

Tom Wilson needs to be stopped. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

(Side note: Shouldn’t Ryan Reaves have beaten Wilson’s ass to death for that hit? Like, not just because a fight there is warranted in the Hockey Man’s mind, but also because if you get Wilson off the ice for five and only have to give up Reaves, that’s a great trade for Vegas. Hell, in theory Reaves’ presence in the lineup should have been a deterrent for that hit in the first place, but hey guess what: It turns out that’s not actually a thing.)

In soccer, if you commit multiple fouls throughout the game, a referee can give you a yellow card for any foul where he feels like, “OK, that’s plenty from this prick.” And Tom Wilson plays like a total prick, sorry. This guy has — or at least should have — long ago torched whatever benefit of the doubt he got from the league, but this is the Cup Final and a bunch of losers from Vancouver still cry all the time about the (deserved) Aaron Rome suspension seven years ago, so you can see why the league would want to avoid that kind of thing again.

Especially because if the NHL acknowledges the refs blew it on the Wilson minor (which maybe should have been a major?) they also must necessarily acknowledge the refs blew it even harder on the Reaves goal, which shouldn’t have counted.

And if there’s one thing the league really wants to do at all times, it’s make sure there’s nothing that would lead to refs being accountable for being horrible at their jobs. That’s playoff hockey baby!

6. Concussion stuff

Came out this week that a bunch of owners, I swear to god, acted like they had never in their entire miserable lives heard of CTE. “Never heard of it, what’s that?” kind of denials, which is pretty amazing considering all the concussion lawsuits that have been going on for the NHL and other major sports leagues. Like even if you don’t know exactly what it is, surely you’re aware that it exists — as in, you’ve literally heard it mentioned, ever.

Also, TSN uncovered a mockup of a concussion awareness poster the league put together that, as a joke I guess(?), said one of the symptoms was “feeling like a giant [sexist term for a wimp or a coward and you know the one I’m talking about].” They also removed language in the finalized versions of those posters advising players that numerous concussions can lead to dementia later in life.

Meanwhile, Johan Franzen’s wife is out here in the Detroit media telling the horror stories about her nice husband’s struggles with brain injuries.

Now, *putting my thumbs into my suspenders* I’m no fancy big-city lawyer, but it seems to me this case is not going to end well for the NHL. They’re not only bad actors on this stuff (obviously), they’re openly contemptuous of it. You’d think this many rich guys couldn’t be this stupid, but wealth strips you of your humanity and the NHL has a long, celebrated history of being horribly run.

So here we are.

5. *Lana Del Ray voice* Playing video games

Here’s my theory: If you put it out there that there’s a highly regarded prospect whose career was ruined by playing too many video games, you’re necessarily going to get every person whose team picked top-10 in the past five drafts to go, “Is it this guy?!?”

And then you have to go out there and say, “I said I wasn’t gonna do this for every player, but it’s not that one guy,” until you’ve done it for every player. So you might as well say the player the first time or — better yet — not say anything at all. Hmm.

This is like in fifth grade when someone tells you, “I have a secret but I can’t tell you what it is” and then also stands around letting you guess for 10 minutes before laughing and walking away. Dumb.

4. Melnyk!

Shout out to Daniel Alfredsson finally just saying everyone wants Eugene Melnyk to just sell the damn Senators already. Everyone hates him! Including the guy who’s running for mayor, which honestly is bound to be a fairly popular political position in town.

It’s like Melnyk keeping the team out of spite (or maybe to get some more vital organs) at this point. Pretty bad scene up there. Wonder if the NHL will try to force his hand here.

3. Narratives

Saw something on Twitter yesterday where they had Keith Olbermann on ESPN saying it might be wise for teams like the Oilers with mega-stars to conisder trading those elite players for several second-line talents.

You know, because of Vegas. And presumably because the Oilers sucked this year.

The premise of the argument is flawed because we know for sure Vegas didn’t just take a whole team of second-line guys. Maybe you say they were incorrectly valued as second-line talent, but that also doesn’t really address the larger issue of the argument that you should give up, say, Connor McDavid or Auston Matthews to get a handful of significantly less impactful players.

This is, I guess, Olbermann advocating for more Tyler Seguin trades. How did that work out for the Bruins, I wonder.

Anyway, you can expect this stuff to keep happening because Vegas is probably gonna win the Cup and people won’t look at the “why” of it, just that it happened. I love not learning anything from anything.

2. The Cup Final

Let’s hope tonight’s game is even 60 percent as entertaining as Game 1, but also like 150 percent better-officiated. This is good hockey.

1. A (potentially) huge cap increase

It was revealed before Game 1 that the salary cap could go up as much as $7 million next season. Not sure if that includes the players’ ability to use the 5 percent escalator (which would mean more escrow payments, but that hasn’t stopped them from both doing the escalator and then complaining about escrow).

But the idea that the cap could go up more than nine percent? Hoo boy. I’m specifically thinking about Vegas here, because they only have $50.2 million or so committed to 19 guys for next year.

And oh yeah, that $50.2 million includes David Clarkson, who they could LTIR the second they hit the cap ceiling, so in theory their actual cap number is closer to $45 million.

They need to re-sign Wild Bill Karlsson after his big season, as well as Colin Miller, Shea Theodore, and both Tomas Nosek and William Carrier. But what do you think those guys put together actually cost? Like $12 million? So they’re up to maybe like $57 million.

This team having like THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS to spend this summer? Come on, man. Imagine they take a run at that Erik Karlsson/Bobby Ryan trade again and pull it off. Imagine they take a run at Ilya Kovalchuk. Imagine they take a run at John Tavares. “You don’t pay state income tax” and (maybe) “We just won a Stanley Cup” is a hell of a sales pitch, no?

Get Karlsson and Bobby Ryan, that’s like $13.75 million. Big chunk of change but presumably Ottawa will take money back, too, just because they have to hit the cap floor at the very least. So maybe $10 million for those two in terms of net costs? OK, that gets them up to $67 million (or more) in cap obligations.

Give Tavares $10 million, whatever. That’s $77 million. Give Kovalchuk $5 million. That’s $82 million.

Plus you can probably finagle a couple sell-high trades to get some money off the books elsewhere. C’mon. It would be incredible.

(Not ranked this week: That Evander Kane deal.

When people said Evander Kane should be locked up, this is not what they meant!

Ha ha ha. Pretty good joke.

But for real, when you can give $7 million times seven to a 27-year-old who can’t stay healthy and has a career high of 57 points (set six years ago) and comes with a litany of what can be generously described as “off-ice issues” (multiple assault allegations) you gotta do it. Right?)

—

Ryan Lambert is a Puck Daddy columnist. His email is here and his Twitter is here.

(All statistics via Corsica unless otherwise noted.)

More Stanley Cup coverage from Yahoo Sports

[aurimeanswind]

“I Feel Like I’m Going Crazy”—Sunday Chats (3-26-17)

So, I was going to, for the third week in a row, write again about how I’m just horribly depressed and unhappy.

But I’m not going to. Not because I’m not, but because I am not a broken record. Good things happen in my life too, and even if I feel a little overwhelmingly depressed, it’s not all there is to me.

That, and as much as I appreciate all the texts and DMs reaching out after I post one of these things, I just can’t right now. Long day, long days ahead, and too much I need to focus on.

Thank you all, let’s talk about good things.

I Finished Zelda

I mean, there really isn’t much to this. I beat that Zelda game. I think my final time was around or close to 105-115 hours. It’s hard to tell on Switch, since it only gives you an idea of your time played, so I kind of had to track it in my head. It’s honestly incredible that all that time passed with such ease. Tales of Berseria, a game that I LOVED that came out this year took me 64-ish hours, and it felt like much longer. Zelda took me more time, and felt like much shorter.

I know the phrase of “it’s an easy 10″ has been thrown around a lot, and sure, yeah, but there is no easy 10. It’s a masterpiece, and when I review it, I’ll probably give it a 10 on our scale, but it’s not flawless. No game is without its flaws, but what Zelda sets out to do, and what it accomplishes along the way is something wholly unique that I have never actually see a video game do before. Ever.

And also that’s subjective. What that game did for me and for the way I look at and experience games is very much unique to my perspective. Other people I’m sure don’t like it as much as me, but for me, Breath of the Wild is probably the second best video game I have ever played. Second literally only to Person 4 Golden. And it’s close, which I never ever imagined I’d say ever in my life. But that’s also part of what’s so exciting. Games are changing and evolving and Zelda is a clear resultant of that. It’s a new benchmark and I can’t wait to see what people do from here out.

Whatever it is, it’s gonna be exciting as all hell.

Case Study Update

For folks who don’t know, I’ve been working on a new format of my video show called Alex Talks. It’s called Case Study.

It’s been a weird up and down with this show, and since my drive and passion had all but fallen away for doing video content, I had to find a way to bring that passion back. I decided to write a new first episode of this show that I am more passionate about. I wrote it on Persona 4.

It’s not good enough to encapsulate the feelings I have for that game. Nowhere near good enough, but the conclusion specifically really meant something to me. It was genuinely impossible for me to finish my cold read without it getting to me, and when I’ve written something that brings emotions out of me like that, I know I’ve done the thing write. And I say in the script that it’s impossible to really capture what the game did for me in one go at it.

I finished the script in three days, and it was over 3400 words. It’s in the editorial process right now, and I’ll probably chip away at it after I finish this, but when it’s ready I am gonna try and shoot it. Aiming to do so this Wednesday. I’m trying not to put a time constraint on it, since I want to take as much time as I need with it, but hopefully I’ll have it out before Persona 5. We’ll see. No promises.

It’s gonna look different so I have to do some test shoots. And I am probably going to go back to my old webcam to shoot it, and it probably won’t be on a green screen. We’ll see how it turns out.

What’s on Tap

Spectre of Torment

The only other thing besides Zelda I’ve been playing

STILL GOOD.

Zelda is really good you guys.

Questions

I used to be way into System of a Down. I know somewhere Tyler is laughing saying, out loud, “oh yeah, of course you were.” But I had this weird point in my life when I was into “metal”. I dug way into SOAD and Disturbed. And also Slip Knot? 

I mean, I was like 16 so of course. Like, what do you expect. But I stopped listening to them.

Honestly I still really like some Disturbed songs, but I’ve stopped listening to almost any and all guitar heavy music. Anything of that sound.

But the answer? I don’t know. That line never made any sense. I don’t think it had to.

Smash or Pass huh?

I waited until Nabeshin got to talk about it on the podcast, and it sounds like a hard pass. I was really fucking disappointed by Dragon Age 3, so I don’t know if I have it in me to have another Bioware series bummed down for me.

I have not, as mentioned above. I wanted to hear Nabeshin talk about it, which he did excellently on the podcast last night. It just sounds like a lot of the things I go to a Mass Effect for are absolutely not present.

And I’ve been playing nothing but SUPERB games all year, and I don’t know if I have time for a subpar one especially in a franchise that I have a very high regard to.

Seems like its a pass for now, but I may grab it on the cheap before the end of the year to at least know for myself.

Colin talks in pretty definitive sweeps, and while I don’t think he is wrong per sé, I think he himself knows that the pendulum swings all around. GiantBomb specifically living as long as it has tells me that there is still hope for all of us yet. Look at Glixel AND Waypoint, two absolutely fantastic video game websites that both sprouted up on 2016, thriving and growing. Not to mention stuff like UploadVR going big.

I think the big sites have a tough battle, trying to balance appealing to their niche, maintaining their appearance of girth, and also appealing to the largest common audience. That’s tough. All these little guys like Kinda Funny and Easy Allies and GiantBomb (none of which are strictly “little, either) have their audience that they have a relationship with and talk to. All of them are in some way subscription based. All of them do just fine.

I still think the Patreon bubble will burst at some point, but it’s going strong now, and I don’t think there is anything wrong, inherently, with that model. But the IGNs and the GameSpots might not be the same in the next few years. But I still think there are plenty of spaces to get hired into the industry and make really, really cool stuff.

But hey, everything will probably change in the next five years anyway. Think about it: when IP started, it was BEFORE streaming. We were on the ground floor with some of that stuff, and though we didn’t stick with it (when we totally should have) that just wasn’t around in 2010 when we began.

And the prize for most-creepiest Sunday Chats question goes tooooooooo

DAN JUAREZ

It’s not that easy. And I know that there was that reply to your tweet saying it is all about the money, but I just don’t think of it as strictly like that. Sure, it’s probably a big part of it. Microsoft wanted to make another Halo game, Bungie didn’t. They found someone to make a new Halo game. It probably wasn’t hard.

I think the better question we should be asking is who do we want to continue making these games? I think it really depends on who and what they’re doing it for.

I think of it in a lot of ways, but a big thing is if I were a creator in the games space, someone who had finally risen to a director, I’d want to get a crack at making a new entry in one of my favorite franchises. If the leads at 343 felt like they could tell a really cool story in the Halo universe with Master Chief, they were given the opportunity to do so, would you really ever turn that down? A big thing that gets left out of this conversation, criminally I think, is the fact that creators want to challenge themselves to surpass the work that comes before them. 

I’m a writer. I write every day. Every day I want what I write to be better than yesterday. Is it? No. So I keep writing and working every day. That’s a huge part as to why I still do this.

With that empathy in hand, I understand the need and want to make new stories, to build on what has come before, and to keep trying to iterate, even though sometimes we fail. So many amazing and talented teams went through the effort of creating not only worlds and cavalcades of lore, but mechanics, concepts, and design philosophies. Making new games not only challenges us on the story front, but also on the mechanical and design front. I don’t know personally, but I imagine that’s such an enticing and exciting idea to a developer.

I could go on and on about this, obviously, but also look at companies like Nintendo: they’ve iterated and reimagined the same concepts over and over again, and we still adore them. No two games in any of their franchises are quite the same. Except for the “New” Super Mario Bros games. And they’re a bummer. But think of all Nintendo has done with Mario alone. 

There is room to keep growing a franchise, but you need to have the right philosophy, and the right spirit behind it. But, it’s a complicated topic. Curious as to what you’re working on.

It’s probably the Lingering Will fight from Kingdom Hearts 2 Final Mix. Not only is that one of my favorite games ever, but that fight is intense and engaging in a way that only the best fights in that franchise are. And it’s hard as balls.

You can watch me attempt, and eventually beat the fight, here:

Part of what made that fight was the way it incorporated the combat mechanics of the game as a whole, and continued to challenge you to use them. It’s really fun and intense, and it totes the line of frustrating well. It never feels cheap.

On top of that, the Linger Will is this representation of the pain a character suffers through throughout an entire game in that franchise. It is the embodiment of Terra’s strength and determination. It’s a representation of the power that character stood for in his group of friends, and it’s really meaningful to that series as a whole, I think.

When you get that bit of lore and that bit of gameplay together just right, you can make something that is emotional and mechanical; that perfect serendipity.

Some of my other favorite boss fights do this too. Pretty much any and all of the bosses in Undertale, which also have the hook of being brilliant representatives of those characters. Roxas’s fight from Kingdom Hearts 2 Final Mix. Duke’s fight in Tales of Vesperia. The Sephiroth fight at the end of FF7. The list goes on.

I am drinking nothing right now. I had a lot of wine during the podcast last night so I am trying to not drink tonight.

Maybe some water?

Persona 4 is really good for this honestly. Honestly I don’t know. Maybe Breath of the Wild? Just because restarting that game and going in a different direction on a new play through would be super exciting.

Also: Tretris is great. But I get more from my games than gameplay. Sometimes emotion and gameplay can outweigh the other if they’re VERY good. For example, Breath of the Wild is so great on a gameplay level that few games can compete with it. But it’s really the balance of both that’s the best. See: Persona 4 Golden.

Tetris gets old after a while. It’s a game that’s great in short bursts though. Unpopular opinion I guess?

I have not! Should I? Jeff Gerstmann was talking it up on the Bombcast and it sounds pretty fun. I don’t know if I’m in the right mood for a weird and silly physics-y indie game right now, but is there more to that game than that? Going off everything I have heard, that’s all I’ve gleamed. But i’d give it a shot, for sure.

Too many for me to give a lick.

Wow, pressures on, huh?

I honestly don’t know. I don’t have a good answer for this. It’s gonna sound super dumb, maybe, but I go most of my days not feeling awesome, and not thinking I’m awesome, regardless of what other people think. I try and do things that I think are awesome though, and I try and challenge myself to be better and get better, and I think people are receptive to that.

I’ve also just been incredibly lucky. So, so, sooooo lucky. Being at the right place, at the right time. Talking to the right people, which has helped me leave more memorable impressions of folks, and so when I ask them to do stuff with me, them remembering who I am helps.

But bringing people together is basically impossible. I just ask, I try and be cognizant of being annoying, I try and engage with as many different people as possible, I try and be cool, I try and never get too worked up or excited to disappointed on the other end of things, and I be the best person I can be. Ask questions, dig deeper, hear the whole story.

I don’t think that’s advice, more of how I came to have so many amazing internet friends, like yourself Harold, and it’s worked for me so far.

Shoutouts

A massive shoutout to all the folks who have been super receptive to me bringing them on as guests for these next few podcasts. We are going to be short one Nabeshin for a few weeks to come, so all these great hosts who have been cool about me reaching out and inviting them on has been super great. Dustin, Cameron, Andrew, and more to be announced and revealed, all great people.

All the love to the amazing network of friends who I have gotten the opportunity to work with.

That’s it. It’s the end. I feel a little bit better, but not a lot. Staying strong. We out here.

Gonna go drink some water and get ready to podcast with Quinten Hoffman. Let’s goooooooo.

[inkwatch-blog]

Twilight Princess: A Game Stuck in Time

(AN: The following is an unproduced script for a proposed video series called BKLG (pronounced Backlog), which I unfortunately had to put on hold for the time being. It has been slightly modified to read as an article, but the writing below is perhaps a bit more conversational than it otherwise would be.)

Allow me a bold statement upfront: The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess would not exist as it does today without a demo reel shown at Nintendo’s defunct trade show Spaceworld. At Spaceworld 2000, a demo reel for the upcoming Gamecube was shown to attendees to represent the graphical power of Nintendo’s new console. Twelve seconds of an unannounced Zelda game were shown and the fanbase lost it’s collective mind. IGN wrote a five paragraph essay about the clip, writing, “There's far too much detail to believe that Nintendo would scrap the models and make new ones. So, we think it's safe to say the new Link will look a lot like this. Overall, we're very happy with his new immaculate hero look.” Right.

IGN might’ve lost their minds, but behind the scenes, director Eiji Aonuma wasn’t pleased; in fact, he actually hated the design. A decade later, he told IGN it wasn’t the game he wanted to make at all. To him, it wasn’t Zelda.

So a year later, at Spaceworld 2001, Nintendo announced The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. The internet revolted. This wasn’t their Zelda, they said. This was Cel-da. This was kid stuff. Where was their mature, grounded take on the series? I do wonder if that sounds like any other fanbase out there today.

Wind Waker was released in North America in 2003 to critical praise. Wikipedia has it listed on twenty-three separate Best Of lists. The HD re-release on the Wii U only gained the game further acclaim. The visuals have stood the test of the time, aging far better than similar games released around the same era.

But all of that didn’t matter. To fans, the cartoonish visuals meant the game was meant for children. As a follow up to Ocarina, its sales were disappointing, selling less than half of what the first 3D Zelda had sold. Nintendo directly attributed this slump to the reaction of fans in North America after the graphics were first shown in 2001. So, despite accidentally announcing in 2004 that an upcoming GameCube Zelda game had the working title of The Wind Waker 2, Aonuma became concerned that the game wouldn’t sell well in North America. After the game was announced at E3 2004, Shigeru Miyamoto told IGN that the art style of the new Zelda adventure was created to fulfill that customer demand created six years before Twilight Princess was even released.

So why spend a massive amount of time detailing the history of a decade old game? Because in a lot of ways, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess and its HD remake, feel beholden to the demand of its fan base in a way not a lot of Zelda games are. Despite the preceding two games in the series, Wind Waker and Majora’s Mask, featuring spectacularly different play styles, Twilight Princess feels like a reimagining of 1998’s Ocarina of Time, and while this doesn’t make Twilight Princess a bad game by any means, it certainly makes it feel more derivative than any adventure game starring the Hero of Time deserves to feel.

So, in the honor of Zelda, let’s divide this into two needlessly convoluted timelines. There’s also one where I die while writing this, and it never comes out, so if you’re reading this now, please assume you aren’t in this timeline.

One.

Twilight Princess is a good game doing weird things.

Yeah, really, it is. All the fun of Zelda, right there, baked into it. It’s got some dark, goofy undertones and the game is weird as hell. The wolf segments are mostly fun, especially once you gain the freedom to turn into a wolf whenever you please. The characters are all really memorable in a way that I think is underplayed when people talk about Zelda. The Snow Yeti couple who are secretly possessed. Zant is a weird Twilight villain who is being played by Ganondorf. Colin’s storyline of overcoming the bullying and taunting of the rest of his friends makes him my favorite of the four children by far. And Midna is the best - the best - Zelda assistant ever. That’s a really low bar to clear, sorry Navi and Fi, and Tatl. Y’all can buzz off, because Midna has you beat for days. She is excellent, and never really a bother, even when she tells you something you already know.

The swordfighting in this game, particularly when fighting the Darknuts throughout the last chunk of the game, feels spectacular. I’m assuming this is less true with waggle controls on the Wii, but playing through the HD remake felt pretty spectacular. Some of the dungeon design is the best in the series - Snowpeak, for all its flaws and played out ice block puzzles, is perfectly built, and the Temple of Time’s reversal after the miniboss felt really refreshing. It also, and I cannot overstate this enough, had my favorite minigame in all of Zelda: snowboarding.

That’s not to say Twilight Princess is a perfect game. There’s plenty to nitpick - the puzzles don’t feel like puzzles! Why are half of the puzzles just shooting objects on a wall with an item! Why aren’t there more snowboarding levels! Why do half the items have almost no use outside the dungeon! Why aren’t there more snowboarding levels! Why can’t I ride the Spinner everywhere! Why aren’t there more snowboarding levels!

So instead of nitpicking on small things like, why aren’t there more snowboarding levels, let me go ahead and lay out the biggest flaw in this game, the one that everyone probably saw coming before you even clicked on this article: the opening.

Here’s how the opening tutorial for 1992’s The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past plays out: There’s a short cutscene before you gain control of Link. You leave bed and you grab the Lamp from the nearby chest. The guards don’t let you into the castle, so you head around to the right and you move a bush to let yourself into the dungeon of the castle. Your uncle, who has been defeated, gives you a sword and shield. Then you begin your journey through the first dungeon of the game, Hyrule Castle.

Cool. Easy. Done. Now here’s the opening tutorial for Twilight Princess: You talk to Rusl, you watch a cutscene, you run to the Ordon Spring, you talk to Ilia, you get Epona, you run through Ordon, you get to the ranch, you herd some goats in what is one of my least favorite mini-games in all of Zelda, you run back to Ordon, you talk to the kids, you talk to Uli, who can’t give you the fishing rod because she lost her cradle, then you talk to Jaggle, you summon a hawk, you shoot the hawk at a monkey, you bring the cradle back to Uli, and you get the fishing rod. From there, you go fishing, you catch a fish for the cat, you watch the cat run around town and back into the shop, where you can now get a free bottle. If you haven’t already, you run around collecting rupees until you reach the magical number of 30, in which you buy the slingshot and you show the children that you’ve bought it. Now you can re-enter your house and, would you look at that, the sword is there. The kids teach you how to use a sword. Then the kids chase a monkey into the woods. So, you summon Epona, you get the lantern, and you enter the North Faron woods on your quest to find Talo. You make your way through the woods in what is sort of similar to a dungeon, you free Talo and the monkey using your sword, and Rusl thanks you for saving Talo. Then you herd more goats - 20 this time, thanks Fado. Ilia claims that you hurt Epona or something, and she steals your horse. She’s also locked you out of the spring where she’s hidden Epona, so you sneak into the spring in a crawlspace, which triggers a cutscene, and boom, you’re a wolf stuck in prison.Technically, the wolf section is also a bit of a tutorial, but I think the point’s been made.

The opening of this game is terrible. It slows progress in the game down to a crawl right when the game should be trying to get you to sink yourself in. It takes hours to complete, and even longer if you haven’t played the game before and don’t know what you’re doing. And, in some ways, it’s indicative of a larger problem in the more modern era of Zelda games - not trusting the player to figure the game out on their own.

A quick note on the other divisive aspect of this game: tear collecting. I won’t comment much on it because it’s been talked to death and, to me, the tutorial is far more problematic in terms of game structure, but the tears fetch quest isn’t a whole lot of fun. At best, it’s inoffensive; at worst, it’s boring and yet another way to get players to put the controller down before the game reaches its second half. The HD remaster fixes the quest somewhat, lowering the required tear count from 16 to 12. It’s still cumbersome, but ending 25 percent sooner helps alleviate the negative feeling each section leaves on the player.

Two.

Twilight Princess is a good game unable to move beyond its past and its fanbase.

Majora’s Mask was released to critical acclaim, but it sold about half of Ocarina’s numbers two years earlier. Perhaps, Nintendo probably thought at the time, this had to do not with the quality of the game or what the fanbase wanted, but the required usage of the Expansion Pak and the impending launch of the GameCube.

As mentioned earlier, it was Wind Waker’s sales that scared the creative team into redirecting their efforts from a sequel to Wind Waker to an entirely new game with a new, more realistic design.

But Wind Waker’s struggles didn’t just change the art design of the new game. It ensured that the next Zelda game would be more like Ocarina of Time than both Wind Waker and Majora’s Mask, a direct sequel, ever would.

And they did it. Twilight Princess, more than any other game in the series, plays like a reimagining of a former game, in this case, Ocarina of Time. Especially in the first half of the game, both play out in incredibly similar ways, from your humble beginnings in a small village to your travels to Hyrule Castle, to the similarly themed opening dungeons, to your new companion following you around, offering advice. Majora’s Mask was a game that took chances, shook the Zelda formula up in ways no one had seen since Zelda II. Wind Waker stayed more true to the classic Zelda road, while still thinking up new ideas, from its presentation to its high seas setting. Twilight Princess is a good, safe game, seemingly designed to make sure that everyone who owned a copy of Ocarina of Time and had seen the Spaceworld 2000 demo would no longer feel disappointed about the cartoon stylings of Wind Waker.

And it worked. That feeling of nostalgia for Ocarina, combined with the success of the Wii, ensured the game would become the best-selling title in Zelda’s history, assuming you don’t include the 3DS remake of Ocarina into Ocarina’s N64 sales.

Of course, unlike Ocarina, nostalgia for Twilight Princess hasn’t fared quite as well. The game received an HD remaster in 2016, both as a 30th anniversary celebration of the series and as a pseudo-apology from Nintendo for delaying Breath of the Wild to 2017 in order to simultaneously release on the Wii U and the Switch. The HD remaster of Twilight Princess sold a little more than a million copies globally, a similar number to 2015’s forgotten spin-off, TriForce Heroes.

It took nearly another decade to get Nintendo to take more chances on changing up the Zelda formula. Ignoring the portable titles for a moment, 2011’s Twilight Princess follow up, Skyward Sword, was critically acclaimed at launch, but has, for the most part, been largely forgotten about in the five-plus years since its release. Skyward Sword often appears near the bottom of best-Zelda lists, and often doesn’t appear at all when the list is limited to ten games. That game has similar flaws to Twilight Princess, with a drawn out opening section and frustrating collect-a-thons like the music note section late into the game.

All of this is to say, I think we’re about to entire a new era of Zelda, or at least, a return to classic, pre-Ocarina of Time adventuring. Next week’s Breath of the Wild promises an open world with plenty to explore. The opening of the game seems to draw from the original and from Link to the Past far more than from Twilight Princess or Skyward Sword. What we’re looking at isn’t the end of Zelda, but the first of a new chapter.