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candycane969 · 1 year ago

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✨🎧🌆ROTTMNT DONATELLO HEADCANONS🌆🎧✨

made by me! candy! :3 no major spoilers

A quick guide!✨

💜 - Supported by canon (things that are pretty sure out there, maybe not confirmed 100% but yeah)

❤ - Kind of supported by canon (things that happened in the series that miiiight lead to some other stuff)

🧡 - My source is that I made it the fuck up (still trying to fit it into the character tho)

⭐ - Not sure if I'm taking this headcanon or not, but I do think It's pretty neat

💋 - Kinky! DISCLAIMER: Ive always seen the rottmnt boys (and April) in the age group from 17 to 19 and thats what I headcanon them as (as it is my own age group!). Ive seen the show and was fucking sure theyre my age and then a month or two later I was slapped in the face with thier actual age lol. I dont support any pedo shit, I also dont think minors can consent. Just putting it out there

Lets go!🌆💜🎧⭐✨

The 'Tism

• 💜 I think Its pretty fucking obvious that this boy is autistic, pretty much everything in the show supports this.

• ❤ Donny's headgear also works as noise cancelling headphones! He's often overwhelmed by background sounds and his gear makes it easier for him to live his life (either on missions or just spending time with his brothers and/or April). He still loves blasting his music on the highest volume tho. It's different when you consent to hearing your jams then when several people are talking at once and youre going crazy.

Tagging as kind of canon because he might have audio sensory issues because of his autism and you can reraly see him without the damn googles.

Different stims

❤ Foot stomping

❤ Hand flapping

🧡 Repeating a song/part of song over and over (yes, even if it has no words)

❤ Spinning on chairs

🧡 Pacing around the lab/the lair

• 💜 He knows ASL! Though It's never said in the show why he learned it, I believe that because he goes nonverbal often. Everyone in the lair can sign a bit because of that, but not everybody is too good at it. Donatello can communicate in ASL fluently.

Gender

• 🧡 Donatello never really felt connected to being "a men" and categorising things as "for boys" and "for girls" always seemed dumb to him. Shortly after Leo's coming out as a trans men (SURPRISE LEO HEADCANON) he went to talk to him about his gender experience. After some thinking and digging, Don came to the conclusion that he is in fact nonbinary. He still uses mostly male pronounces but always appreciates gender neutral pronounces coming his way.

Sexuality

• 🧡 While realising his own gender he also figured out that he doesn't really sees gender that seriously in others either. Men or women, its pretty much whatever to him. He doesn't like to label himself much when it comes to his sexuality, he accepts reffering to him as a pansexual or bisexual.

• 🧡 When it comes to dating Donatello doesn't imagine himself with anyone, really. He finds himself attractive, but doesn't think anyone would fancy him in a romantic way. He's not interessted much in dating either way. But he doesn't exclude dating someone in the future. It's just he won't go out of his way to look for love.

• ❤/🧡 Its obvious Don is a men of science, he's a genius when it comes to coding, math, engineering, I would say chemistry as well. Thats the field he feels the most comfortable in, but he loves learning new things in general. As long as there is interesting knowledge he can obtain, he will be there, soaking it like a sponge. He likes listening to info dumps, and probably listens to long ass video essays and/or podcasts.

• 🧡 Don likes to learn about others people hobbys and takes interest in learning about it. He likes showing others that he cares about something, even though Its something totally indifferent to him. For example, he knows lot about art making process from Mikey (Angelo even made him paint with him a couple of times!) even tho he doesn't really likes drawing and/or famous artists. No many people appreciate his work so he wants to show his appreciation to others.

• 💜 He is pretty low empathy most of the time. It's hard for him to relate to others, and can often feel like someone is overreacting. It's also challenging for him to put his feelings "out there". Which often makes him look unloving or unfriendly. And it couldn't be farther from the truth. He loves his brothers even though they bother him most of the time. And he loves April as well (though she never really troubled him much). He never really thinks that his low empathy is a flaw (more often he thinks about it as a blessing) but there rare are moment when he feels helpless because of it. He is glad that his family knows that he truly cares about them (and accepts any effort he puts in to express his feelings, even if it seems small).

• 🧡⭐ I've seen people headcanoning Donny as a baker and honestly I like it a lot. Cooking is Mikeys domain, and it suits him well, as it allows a lot of freestyling and just overall feeling. Baking and pastry making is very calculated and one miatake can ruin the whole thing. It reminds Don of engineering in a sense. Also baking is an easy way to get love and appreciation from his family because, cmon, he just made the most angelic fruit tarts in the whole universe, of course they're going to praise him. It also works as a stress relief. When feeling stumped and/or overwhelmed over a project or a situation he'll make something easy like brownies to get his mind of it.

• 🧡 He's very sentimental. He loves receiving gifts and will cherish and use them (even if he doesn't like it). He still has every "gamers dont die they respawn" Tshirt and every "dont fuck with my brother he was born in october and has autism" mug. Sometimes he REALLY wants to throw something away but god damn it this is painting Mikey did when he was ten and is just five splats of paint and thinking about him somehow finding out and crying about it might destroy him forever.

• 🧡⭐ This bitch reads fanfics, thats it. It started when he was around 13 or smth with Atomic Lass x Reader and now he knows all the fanfic lingo. He still might read something from time to time and writes very long and well written comments (with constructive criticism).

• 🧡 Speaking of which, Don writes perfect sentences while texting. All the correct spelling and punctuation. He also communicates with emojis and gifs like a millenial.

Food, TW: drinking!

• 🧡 He has a rather strong head, you cant make him drunk that easily. But when it finally happens, youre in for a ride. Shutting him up is near impossible, he will talk non-stop but with much less eloquence then while sober. Its extremely easy to make him laugh, so Leo absolutely loves it. He often looses track of what hes saying and starts completely different rant. Overall a chaotic mess. Really fun to witness it at least once. His beverage of choice is either fun cocktails or beer (tho rarely and/or only with some kind of juice because he doesn't like the fizziness on his tongue).

• 🧡 And that takes us to Donatello that hates fizzy drinks. He hates carbonated beverages, no matter if its cola or champagne. The feeling on his tongue and in his mouth makes him really uncomfortable. When there is no other choice but to drink up some bubbless, he leaves it open for as long as he can to get rid of them. His brothers despise him for that.

• 🧡 He doesn't like weird food combos either and is rather picky. When ordering food Don sticks to what he knows not to risk an uncomfortable texture touching his mouth. Texture is the most often reason for him not liking a specific food. Donnys pretty strict to preparing food as well (the way he does a thing is The Correct Way and no other exception is acceptable). Also he puts milk first so his cereal doesn't get soggy.

• 🧡 I feel like he likes fruit juices in boxes and fruit mousses but this is pretty random 🤷

• ❤/🧡 He wears contacts! We've seen little Donny with glassess, so I assumed he wears contacts now. When he knows he will be spending all day in the lair (for example because of an injury) he still has a pair of glassess he uses. And yes, he tapes them to the head. Because he rarely ever wears them, he never came up with a solution for not having ears and needing glassess.

• 🧡 ABSOLUTELY hates smoking. Will go on a rant if he sees someone he knows smoking. He absolutely despises the smell and WILL take it out of someones mouth/hand and throw it away. Appreciates the fun smells of vapes but still hates them. Will call vapers losers (maybe not exacly in these words but he will for sure).

• 🧡 Really good at makeup, but not as good as Leo is (ANOTHER SURPRISE LEO HEADCANON). He spend years perfecting his eyebrows of course. He also wears eyeliner because serving cunt is important even on the battlefield. From time to time you can see his nails painted as well.

• 🧡⭐ While being flustered or simply distracted he stutters a lot, mostly in a way of repeating whole words or parts of a sentence ("Its good because- Its good- Its good because I um- Its good-")

• 🧡 Enjoys taking very long baths, and actually prefers them much more then showers. Can stay underwater for a rather long time as well!! Being fully submerged calms him down a lot and its overall very relaxing for him.

• 🧡⭐ Ive seen a lot of takes that without his battle shell, he is really flexible (due to having a soft shell). And I like the idea. I think, that before sitting infront of a screen (or a desk in general) to do his work for several hours he stretches deeply so his back won't be so sore later. Also a reason to draw Donny in yoga poses and thats always cool.

• ❤ Makes up shit to fuck with his brothers. Like just spreading misinformation and gaslighting them for shit and giggles. Or to get them to leave him alone for a while. Also will gaslight them if they somehow find out that he was lying ("what? you must have heard me wrong then 🙄💅")

• 💜/❤ Loves singing and dancing!!! Aint the best singer (tho I love his songs in the show Im kissing him as we speak) but is a gorgeous dancer! He finds it incredibly fun and feels fabulous while doing it. Also Im pretty sure dancing counts as stimming so add it to the list. Dances solo like 90% of the time but really enjoys dancing in pairs (dances with April a whole lot when they get the chance!).

• ❤ He rarely laughs out loud, but when he does it is loud and messy. A good joke can make him think about it all day and continue laughing for a long time. Not my og take, Ive seen this headcanon before and I love it so so much :3

• 🧡 From all his brothers, he kind of wishes to be human the most of them all. Its not a big big wish, he does think of himself as very unique individual and takes pride of being a mutant. But sometimes while hanging out with April he can get lost in his thoughts of "what ifs". Maybe in the process of making a cloaking accessory.

• 🧡 His handwriting is god-awful. All scribly and fucked up like Doctors writing. Unfamiliar eye would not decipher a word out of it, but Don knows exactly what everything means. But he mostly writes digitally.

• ❤ Dons dislike of hugging is canon, but I do believe he likes being touched on his head and face (head pats, cheek rubs, scratches). He enjoys hand holding when it's appropriate as well.

• 💋 Im headcanoning the boys to go through mating season once a year (except mikey cuz he small) everyone at a different time. It would be similiar to an ovulation but much more horny (with also fever symptoms). Don would be the second after Raph to get it. While in heat he doesn't go feral or anything, but after a few days stops working because he cant focus on his craft. Waves of sudden temperature changes (mostly high heat) with really horny thoughts and hypersensitivity to pretty much everything...yeah not the best work environment. He spends his most intensive days closed off in his lab or room because he really doesn't want his family to see him like this (the rest of the turtles are in thier rooms during thier mating time as well for the same reason). Also add being possessive while having a SO, and also veeery easy to irritate.

• 💋 Donny takes on a more submissive role while being intimate, even though he loves to be in charge all the time. But he isn't a bottom either, I would put him perfectly in the middle as a switch (more leaning on that sub part tho).

• 💋 His biggest turn on is smell. Like someones natural smell, no perfumes and all. He likes to snuggle in the crook of the neck and take it all in. This becomes cranked up to eleven during mating season, as he absolutely cannot stop sniffing. Would love his significant other to leave him clothes with thier smell on it and sleep and/or snuggle with it.

Might add more later but thats all for now :3💜

Hope you enjoyed it⭐✨

#If you think Ive misrepresented him or something is clashing with canon let me know #going to make Leo headcanons soon cuz I have a lot I love him #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #tmnt #donatello #text #rise donnie #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #donatello headcanons #headcanons #donnie headcanons #rottmnt headcanons #tmnt 2018 #rottmnt donatello #writing #rise donatello #rise headcanons

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jessjad · 8 months ago

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Unexpected

Chapter 6

Summary: After a Halloweenparty Y/N actually didn't want to got to, her life seems to be turned around. The reason is a very stubborn Supe that seems to have her in his visier. Is it just a coincidance or more?

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x Reader

Word Count: 2943

Warnings: some language, sex mentioned, tense and dangerous situations, aaaand a cliffhanger...

A/N: So, work was like hell and the flu stayed longer then I hoped she would. But, what can you do. I hope you still like it. All mistakes are mine. Enjoy and let me know! :)

My Masterlist Series Masterlist

"This is not enough!" Victoria Newman laid her hand onto her forehead in frustration as she spoke on her phone outside her office. "Johnson, you promised me results and answers! Why can you and your men not find him, while random people see them walking around in New York?"

"We can not even be sure that it was really Soldier Boy and his... girlfriend...." The man on the other side of the phone answered but it only angered Newman more.

"There are pictures of both of them online! They came out of a privat club around 3 in the morning. TODAY!"

The silence that followed was meaningful.

"Johnson, you told me, that it was your speciality to track down people who are hard to find. And Soldier Boy IS hard to find. So, live up to your promise or else I have to find someone else to do it."

And without waiting for a response she hung up the phone. This was not going as she had hoped for. But nontheless, it was neccessary that she found the former american hero before anyone else. Especially before Homelander, or else they would all be in trouble. After all, he was the only one who had a chance against Homelander and when he got a hold of Soldier Boy first, nobody would know how this would play out.

"So, Victoria..."

Speaking of the devil, she thought, took a short breath in and turned around to face the blonde supe.

"Ashley told me that you are looking for Soldier Boy." John said and crossed his arms behind his back as he walked slowly towards Victoria.

"Of course I am." Victoria replied confident, not trying to show him that he still intimidated her. "I still work with the FBSA after all. We always try to find a rouge supe."

"Interessting. You had any succsses yet?"

He got closer and closer, but Victoria kept her ground. She even held her head up a little higher, but Homelander just grinned.

"Unfortunatly, no. It's like he vanished from earth."

"And how about his girlfriend? Do you know who she is by now?"

"We have her name, but everything else seems like it got deleted. There is no more information about her."

"Hmm... to bad." Homelander looked at the woman infront of him appraisingly, but she did not cower back.

"And what about Soldier Boy? What kind of information do you have on him?"

"What do you mean? All there is to know about him is in the files at Vought."

"Nooo, that's not what I meant." The look in his eyes gave her a shiver down her spine. "I mean information about his time in Russia... and what they did to him."

"I... " this was even more worse than Victoria thought it would be. "I don't know if there even are any files left..."

"Then you should start to look into that, don't you think?"

With another weird grin, Homelander started to walk away again. But he turned around one more time.

"Oh, and let me know what you'll find out about him. Don't think that, just because you made your daughter into a supe, that I can't hurt her."

Another week went by without any changes. The only change happend between Y/N and Ben. After their little dangerous and exciting fun in that club, he and Paul brought her home safe in the early morning hours. But it took not long after they arrieved at home that Ben wanted to do a second round. Y/N had already been asleep when she stirred up by a hot feeling between her legs, just to find the supe's head at her core, playing her like a violin.

And after that the mood had shifted. Ben was not so aggravated anymore and did not try to fight with Marvin again. However, both men kept a good distance to eachother, just to be sure. On M.M.'s face though, Y/N could see that he did not like the new developements that he got to witness.

Also, Ben did not hold back on touching her, or showing general PDA, whenever he could. Y/N felt a little uncomfortable at first, especially with the looks she got from the others. Annie in particular seemed to be very worried, but Y/N could asure her that it was not forced or anything in that matter. Not in the slightest. She actually enjoyed this change and liked all the attention Ben gave her. And the man was not restless. The marks on her body confirmed that.

She felt like she got closer to him, the more time they spend together. He still did not really talk to her about deep or important things, but there was not complete silence anymore. Althought four days ago she thought he would shut her out again. Over something stupid of course.

It was in the middle of the night. Ben had already gone to bed and seemed to sleep, when Y/N came in the bedroom too. She disappeared under the covers and tried to fall asleep too, but Ben's voice interrupted her.

"Took you long enough to come to bed, doll."

He started to use that pet name shortly after they started to sleep with eachother again. Y/N did not really like that old-ass word, but it was definitly better than 'broad' or 'gal'. So, she went with it.

"Annie and I were watching a couple of old movies and we forgot the time. It was really fun."

"Hm-mh." was Ben's only response.

After that Y/N thought that he wanted to sleep again, but she thought wrong. The supe shifted towards her and a few seconds later his hand started to roam her body. She had to grin to herself. Now she knew why he was still awake. It did not take long until they kissed and touched the other, but as soon as Ben had his hand in her panties on his way to her already wet folds he stopped.

When she looked up to him, Ben frowned down to her and it seemed like he was a little angry even.

"What's wrong?" she asked but wasn't sure if she really wanted to know it.

"What is this?" was all he said and now Y/N looked at him questioningly. "What the fuck did you do?"

Still not quite sure what he meant, Y/N needed a moment un til she realized what really bother him.

"I... I shaved... this morning."

"Why the fuck did you do that?" he grumpled and let go of her completely.

"I... because it was time. I needed to shave. You know? Like, all the important parts of my body." she explained and sat up in her bed.

"But when we fucked on Halloween you weren't shaved."

"Oh god..." Y/N hid her face in her hands before she answered again. "That was because I did not think that I would be having... sex... anytime soon."

"And when we fucked again in the club you also weren't shaved."

"I KNOW! But that was just because I did not think, that we would be... having sex again."

Ben did not seemed to be convinced and Y/N couldn't believe that he actually was angry about her being shaved.

"Are you really upset about this?"

"There was no fucking need for you to shave. I like your bush."

"Ben..." she closed her eyes. "Can you... not..." but he didn't stop.

"It's not like I'm kissing a Afghan Hound. It's just right."

"I can not believe we're really talking about this." Y/N said to herself and shook her head.

"Let it grow back."

"What? NO!" the woman protested.

"You have to. I don't wanna feel like I'm licking the cunt of Shirley Temple."

"But...Ben, listen... we... we need to find a compromise here."

And after a long discussion that felt more like bickering, they agreed and made up again. But inside Y/N was puzzled. This grumpy ol' man always found a way to surprise her.

It was on a thursday, when Mallory finally called. After the ruckus that happend in the shop it had been clear that the next outing of Soldier Boy and his girlfriend needed to be better planed out and executed more safely. Y/N did not fully understand the intention Grace had with this charade, but they were already so far into it, that there was no going back now.

They picked a place near the Hudson River in Poughkeepsie. It was far off from the hot spots of New York and noone would probably expect them to show up there. It was supposed to be a normal date night with dinner. The restaurant was already on observation and Malloy had stationed many men.

Annie's network of followers who believed her had been growing pretty strong and they depated if it would be better to get the crowd involved too. But at the end they decided against this idea. If Homelander or any other enemy of Ben would be able to get to them, it would just put all the civilians into danger. But still Mallory thought it would be good to let the people know that Ben is still out there and having a good time.

A day later it was time. While Ben was still in the bathroom, Y/N went out into the living room where M.M. controlled the tv. It looked like, he was searching for something specific.

"What are you looking for?" Y/N asked interessted.

"I just... wanted to show you something..." Marvin answered and after a moment he found what he was looking for. "This. Just wanted to see if you know this by now."

On the screen appeared Ben in some kind of red tinched set with a woman on his side. It was a music video. A caribbean melody started to play and Ben began to sing. At first she had to smlie because he sounded so weird with this fake semi-black accent, but that smile faded very quickly. The song was pure misogyny at its finest.

Her brows started to furrow while she kept watching the video and she missed the satisfied grin on M.M.'s face.

"What's going on here?" Ben asked as he came out of the bathroom.

But it did not take long for him to catch up. He immediatly recognized his song and knew right away that M.M. had put it on on purpose. So, he looked at Y/N. She was watching the video too, but he could not read her face. So, he tuned in onto her thoughts, but what he found was not reassuring.

Wth every stupid lyric that came out of his mouth he saw that she thought of herself and she compared herself to the words he sang. It did not seem as if she was angry, it was more like her selfdoubt grew and he did not like that at all.

Yeah, it was true, that the song represented some of his own thoughts and beliefs, but since he came back, it started to change in a way. And Y/N played a part in that change. Eventhough he would never admit it.

All of a sudden Y/N turned around and disappeared into the bedroom. It left Ben behind a little helpless. Should he go talk to her? But he was not a fucking pussy. He did not talk about fucking feelings. Still, this whole situation did not sit right with him. Finally, after a few minutes, he groaned loudly and then followed her into the bedroom.

Y/N was standing infront of her bed and had her face towards the window. Again, Ben did not really know what to do. Her face was unreadable and her thoughts did not give away much more.

"Are you ready?" He asked, not really knowing what to do else.

But Y/N didn't answer right away. "What are we doing here?" she asked a counter queston.

That took him by surprise, because Y/N knew what was going to happen next. They talked about it long and in detail. But she gave him the answer right away.

"We don't even know eachother. I know absolutly nothing about you and you know barely anything about me. So... how are we supposed to play the lovey dovey couple, when there is nothing to build on?"

That was not what he'd expected. "Well, I'm a fucking good actor, sweatheart. You don't need to worry your pretty little head about it."

"But I do! Once people know we're there, they will take pictures and videos of us!"

"Don't think about it! Let me take care of this." said Ben a little upset. " Why are women always like that? It's my job to think about this."

"So, I'm not allowed to worry about this whole thing?" she now responded a little upset. "Oh, yeah, I forgot. Of course I'm not allowed to think about this. It would probably be the best for me to never think anything again, right? So that I don't give you any kind of trouble!" She refered to the song she just heared some minutes ago.

"Christ on a cross!"

"Hey, guys! You ready?" Annie poked her head through the door and gave Y/N the best opportunity to get out of this conversation.

Sometimes it was just so frustating to talk to the supe who had invaded her life on such a big and drastic scale. He could be nice and funny even. But those times made her forget his mindset a lot of times. She was a strong, independent woman and he would never get to change that. Especially not Soldier Boy!

About an hour later they arrived at their destination. It was a texas style Steakhouse and just across the street you could stand on the Hudson River. The restaurant was a bit out of the way on a not so busy street and it was actually a pretty place.

Mallory had arranged a privat table beforehand and as soon as they stepped inside, the employees stared to whisper with eachother. Ben and Y/N tried to be normal, not noticing anything that happend and sat down. They ordered drinks and something to eat. And after ten minutes Annie had sent Y/N a screenshot of the first pictures that were already floating around online. Clearly a waiter must've shot it.

The uneasiness whitin Y/N became more and more, so much so that even Ben started to see it in her face. So he got into acting mode and took her hand in his. And then he started to talk to her, which took her by surprise. And then he told her a little of himself. Some things about his past and the way he grew up. What he liked and didn't like.

And Y/N soaked it all up. She started to relax, began to ask him questons and told him about herself too. And whitout them realizing two hours passed. The conversation flowed naturally and even Ben liked it. He did not fully open up, but it felt good to talk to Y/N. She was really clever and compassionate.

They had finished dessert some time ago now and people had started to crowd the restaurant, but the employees held them back from the couple.

"This went more smoothly than expected." Y/N said at one point.

She did not think, that the supe would really start to share some of his story with her, but everything new she heared from him, seemed to close the distance she had felt in the last days between them. Sex or not. The emotional distance was even more clear to her after she she saw the video of Ben some hours ago.

And she started to understand why he behaved in a certain way. What made him him. She was still not fine with a lot of things he said and did, but she realized that it came down to bad parenting. And all he ever wanted was to be accepted. He just wanted to have someone who was proud of him.

Y/N smiled sympathetically at him and he gave her a genuine smile back. But then she saw the change in his eyes. The smile disappeared from his face and his gaze lost his focus.

"Ben?" Y/N asked and laid her hand softly on his arm. "Ben, what's wrong?"

And then she heared it, too. There was music playing in the backround and it was getting louder. Some kind of russian song and it made Ben stand up all of a sudden. The chair behind him fell and he started to puff his chest heavily.

"Ben? BEN!" Y/N stood up too and tried to get his attention.

The supe started to groan and his eyes shifted shortly to her. "Get out! Now!"

"Ben, whats wrong? Talk to me!" No way she was going to leave him now.

Two hands grabbed her by her shoulders. "Y/N, we have to go!" It was Annie and she started to pull her away. "Their playing the song from Mikhail Shufutinskiy. That's what the russians played while they experimented on him."

"I'm not leaving him here alone!" she protested, but Ben's chest started to glow up.

"C'mon, Y/N! We don't have time!" said Annie and finally managed to pull her away from Ben.

And while he still heared her screaming his name, Ben's vision went black and his powers blasted from his chest.

A/N: Yeah, we're going there. 🙈 Who played that song all of a sudden? And what will happen to Y/N? Until next time. 🤭

@lyarr24 @leigh70 @k-slla @deadlydivergentgirl @deans-spinster-witch

#unexpected #the boys amazon #soldier boy #jensen ackles #fanfiction

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therotatingvillain · 5 years ago

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First, hello. A few facts about me: I'm German, currently still living in Germany, going to school, 10th grade and am somewhat interessted in history. As it is in Germany you can't be interessted in history without at least knowing more about World War 2 than the average person, although I believe that Germans tend to see the horror in it, yet still make jokes and laugh about it more than other nations. There also are a lot, and I mean a lot of movies about WW2 or set in WW2. One of these is my number 3 favorite movie, Inglorious Basterds. Now, when I first watched IB, I immediately (as so many of us probably) fell in love with SS-Colonel Hans Landa, whom I'll just be referring to as Hans from now on. I wondered about something everytime I watched him though and that was what exactly made him so terrifying? What makes our blood run cold the moment we hear this abstract, weird version of Für Elise, or at least this abstract song with the Für Elise beginning? What makes us feel as if we're in serious danger everytime Hans is on screen? It couldn't just be the uniform or his obvious Nazi typical mannerisms, no, otherwise we would have been just as scared of Gestapo Major Dieter Hellstrom and I don't know about you, but the more I watch IB, the more I think Dieter is just hilariously failing at trying to be like Hans.

So, what made Hans so different? Well, in my opinion you can already see that in the first scene.

Let's make one thing clear here, I'm a writer, I want to become a psychologist, I can't and won't talk about this in a cinematography kind of way, but rather on a people level. Also, I'm a theatre kid, so I'm gonna use some of the shit I learned in drama class and all in all this is just a lot of rambling and me fanboying over Nazi Daddy Landa, so don't take everything I say too seriously.

The first thing I want to briefly touch upon is the music. The iconic intro of Für Elise, a song that screams German and what is it followed by? Abstract, not at all fitting notes, making you feel uneasy because something isn't right at all. LaPadite and his daughter also show this perfectly. She sees the car driving their way, the music sets in, their erratic, nervous and you as the audience don't know why. You can guess why, a German song in the background, a movie set in WW2? This is going to be Nazis, no doubt, but you're still uneasy because something just doesn't seem right. Not one bit.

And then Hans arrives, open top car, showing that he's not at all scared about what he is doing. He tells his men he doesn't want to be disturbed and walks up to LaPadite, asking if this land belongs to the LaPadites, fully aware that of course it does, but still being polite, asking questions, introducing himself and shaking LaPadites hand. This handshake shows perfectly that from that moment on Hans has full control over the entire situation. Hans is the one initiating the handshake and he holds it. If you look closely you can see LaPadite trying to take his hand away, but Hans doesn't let him. He looks into LaPadites eyes, holding the stare, his hand still firmly gripping LaPadites. Hans politely asks if he could be invited in, a clear order disguised as a polite question and when LaPadite agrees and wants to walk off, Hans lays his hand on LaPadites upper arm, showing that he has a higher status than LaPadite, that he is in control and they both know it.

The next bit that just makes you hold your breath is when Hans meets LaPadites daughters, mesmerized by Charlottes beauty, her having blonde hair and blue eyes, the Arien norm the Nazis were so fascinated with. She is the only one he pays attention to, staring at her even after sitting down, his face devote of emotion, just an emtpy stare that you're unable to read. When another of the daughters was asked to get him a glass of wine, Hans gripped her arm, soft, yet clearly in a threatening way. We know he has power over everyone in that room, but we don't see him clearly abusing this power, we only see small motions like that and that makes us nervous, because we wait for the moment he snaps but it just doesn't happen.

When he tells LaPadite to sit down with him and tells him to send his girls outside, we see that this is Hans' stage. He decides who goes where when and you follow those orders.

Next Hans asks to switch the language to English because his French is exhausted and he would only embarrass himself if he kept on talking, but once you have seen the full scene, you know this was only so that he could have a full conversation with LaPadite without the Dreyfuses underneath the floorboards knowing too much and making a silent escape.

From here on it gets really clear that Hans doesn't accept a simple yes or no as an answer, or any answer that he deems as too vague. He asks LaPadite to „please tell me waht you've heard“ after asking him if he's familiar with who Hans is, reminding LaPadite of the monster that is sitting in front of him. He wants LaPadite to talk, to slip up and reveal himself so that Hans can get the job done with and leave.

Hans smiles when LaPadite tells him that his visit may be pleasant, but LaPadite doesn't know why Hans is there. Hans smiles because he knows LaPadite is lying and we know that Hans knows. That's a terrifying thought. We don't know how he knows, all we know is he does. Hans entire preperation happened off screen, we know exactly nothing about him except for the fact that he knows. That he has power and knows the secrets hanging heavy in the air.

He drags the entire process as long as he can, doing everything neat and tidy, getting LaPadite to talk, asking him questions, still accepting no vague answers. When LaPadite asked if he could smoke his pipe, Hans reacts in a sort of „don't be silly“ demeanor. As if he isn't the one in control of everything, but just a mere guest in LaPadites house out of pure friendliness from LaPadite.

Now, let's get to my favorite part of the scene, the rat speech. This entire speech is just so that we would agree with Hans. Makes us understand his position, maybe even feel sympathy for him. He says he loves his nickname „precisely because I've earned it.“, saying it as if he means „I worked hard for this“, trying to gather sympathy. „I don't consider the comparison an insult“ can be read as the typical „I'm not the bad guy here, I'm not like them, I don't have anything against Jews.“ and I'm pretty sure I am not the only one believes him with that, who believes him that he never had anything against Jews, but merely just followed the regime flooding the entirety of Europe. When he says he doesn't consider the comparison an insult, he puts a hand onto his chest, underlining this „it's not me who's the bad one“ meaning. He makes us agree with him through comparisons like the one between a rat and a squirrel, because it's true. He repeats certain aspects, making it clear that they are important, making us think about it and in the end agreeing. It's terrifying to realize how easy he can make you agree with something so atrocious. It's as if he gets into your head with complete ease.

I always felt as if the phrase „Because I'm aware of what tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity“ felt off. Just, not really fitting, but that's for another time. After smoking his ridiculous pipe, which, let's be honest here, was not intended to intimidate LaPadite further, but was probably just something Hans thought was fucking hilarious (it was) since Hans is someone with a sense of humor. A really dark and disturbed sense of humor, but he loves cracking jokes and this was one of them. Anyway, he emphasizes a lot on the word „dictates“. His job dictates that his men conduct a search. Hans doesn't want to do this but he has to. It's again this weird sense of sympathy we feel for him. When he talks about the irregularities and says that „rest assured there will be“ some, we have the last clue that we needed. Now it's obvious that Hans knows everything. He knows that the Dreyfuses are hiding beneath the floorboards, he knows LaPadite has been lying, he knows everything.

What he is doing now is disguising obvious threats as rewards, telling LaPadite that his family would be save if he told Hans everything Hans wanted to know, reminding him that his daughters were outside with Hans men and that with one word from Hans, they could be shot on the spot and by now not just LaPadite but also the audience know that Hans would indeed give them the order to kill the girls just to get the information he wants.

I believe that from here on it's very obvious why we're so scared of Hans, if you don't remember, go back and watch the scene again. Actually, go watch the entire movie, it's wonderful.

Now, this was just a short retelling of the first 20 minutes, a lot of the things I mentioned were repeated to enhance the feeling and of course I may be reading way too much into this, but honestly? I don't care. It was fun writing this, it was even more fun staring at frame for frame of those first 20 minutes for more than 2 days, talking to myself more than I talked to anyone else the entire past week, but I just love Hans on so many levels. Christoph Waltz acting is amazing, he is an amazing actor that deserves the two Oscars he won and even more and I hope we will see him in a lot more movies before having to part from him.

Please excuse any mistakes since it's fairly late, I'm dying on the inside (well, I'm already dead inside but you know what I mean), English isn't my mothertongue and all in all I'm just ranting as always.

Stay hydrated you wonderful human beings.

#hans landa #inglorious basterds #christoph waltz

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