#do i really have to put something on my bio to clear that out

[sister-lucifer]

hcs 4 toby giving bj 4 first time :3

Toby’s First Time Giving/Receiving a Blowjob Headcanons 

Ticci Toby x Gender Neutral Reader 

A/N: I know you probably meant Toby giving a blowjob for the first time but I wrote both because i can. enjoy the double feature

Genre: Smut headcanons 

Content/Warnings: Oral sex (obviously), Toby likes praise, face fucking, Toby gets a bit rough in his excitement but he doesn’t mean it, he’s just a feral, excitable horndog, scenarios for both AFAB and AMAB readers are included, use of dick, cock and cunt to describe genitalia

Like my writing? I take requests! NSFW or SFW for any fandoms in my bio (request rules + masterlist in pinned post)!

Also, please reblog! it’s free, takes two seconds, and really helps me out 

Feedback is encouraged and appreciated:)

Not fully proofread! Let me know if you see any errors!

Giving 

Oooohhh boy okay, listen 

He’s not exactly experienced 

Most of the people he went to high school with were incredibly put off by him and the like two who weren’t never went past making out 

He has no idea what he’s doing, you’ll have to teach him 

The good news? He’s very eager to learn 

If you have a dick he’ll try to deepthroat it IMMEDIATELY, regardless of the fact that he’ll choke like a fucking idiot, and you’ll have to practically yank him off of you 

If you have a cunt he’ll do the same thing except latching on way too fast and way too rough in a clumsy but genuine effort to pleasure you

Just hold tightly to his hair to keep him from ducking back down and gently instruct him to start slow 

You’ll have to be very detailed with your instructions, and he has no shame, so expect a lot of really specific questions 

“Should I-I keep flicking your clit with my tongue like th-that?” 

“Do you like w-when I circle your tip l-like that?” 

Etc, etc

And he’ll say it with 100% sincerity, because he really does want you to enjoy this

It takes him a minute to get the hang of it, but once he gets his rhythm he won’t stop until you’re begging him to 

It’s fun for him to watch you squirm and moan, it brings him just as much pleasure as it does you 

You can encourage him to keep going by scratching his head, running your fingers through his hair, and giving a little tug when he does something you particularly enjoy

Speaking of which, he responds very well to verbal feedback (re: praise) 

You can see his eyes light up when you call him a good boy or tell him he’s doing well 

And he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get him praise

Basically, he’s easy to train

Just keep telling him how well he’s doing, and be clear about what you enjoy 

He’s more than happy to comply 

Plus, it’s kinda hot to watch the drool and cum leak from the gash in his cheek as he eagerly laps up everything he can get from you

Receiving 

Well your first challenge will be getting him to sit still

He’s a hyperactive bastard and his excitement will manifest as restlessness 

It’s best to have him lying on his back to reduce the risk of possible injury, but he will still shake his legs and fidget with his sleeves as he watches you position yourself between his legs

He’ll try not to touch you at first because he’s not really sure what’s acceptable or not, instead opting to fumble with his fingers and gnaw on his knuckles 

He’ll be breathing heavily and mumbling to himself the whole time, before you’ve even gotten his cock out 

“I-I can’t believe you’re doing this for-for me…Y-You’re so nice to m-me…I-I don’t—fuck!—I don’t k-know what I’d do with-without you…”

And he’ll go on and on like that until you’ve sucked him so good he can’t talk 

He’ll forget his manners the closer he gets to cumming

He’ll get more and more needy and he’ll start to grab at your hair 

Unless you stop him, he’ll get rougher and rougher until he’s practically fucking your mouth, pulling and pushing your head back and forth by your hair and thrusting into your mouth 

He’ll have drool running down his chin and he won’t be able to keep his mouth shut, just completely desperate and messy

The best part is the way he’ll shamelessly beg to cum down your throat 

“Pleeeaaase, please, please, fuck—! I-It’s all I want, just let me—let me cum in your m-mouth, I need it! I-I’ve been a g-good boy, haven’t I?!”

If you don’t say yes he’ll literally cry 

But if you do, the absolute euphoria that’ll cross his face is more than worth it 

He’ll force you down on his cock as he releases down your throat, his back arching in an almost violent manner as he forces you to take everything he has to give

And he won’t let go until he’s completely done 

When you’re finally released from his death grip it’ll be because he’s gone limp, completely spent and barely conscious 

Give him a quick kiss before you go to clean up, he’ll lick your lips clean for you 

He’ll be riding that high for hours 

[hyunjinsjeans]

He knows (Chan ver.)

Lee Know ver. | Changbin ver. | Hyunjin ver.

Masterlist

Synopsis: Chan is your husband and he knows you want to start a family, but how does he know? And what happens when he tells you he knows? This. This is what happens.

Type: Fluff 🧸, SFW 👍

Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy

Word count: 1140

AN: this is my first piece of writing for anything K-pop-related on this site, please be kind! No proofreading, sorry!

You are married to this man. He defines himself by his job. He lived for it though, after working so hard to get to where he is he also enjoys it so much. So you can’t complain. But he does have one more thing he wants on his instagram bio. So far he is producer, singer, rapper and dancer. As of a year ago he is also husband. He knows the time is right. He knows you don’t want to pressure him but whenever you’re together he can sense the unspoken words flying around in the air between the two of you.

Oh yes, Chan knows. He knows how to read people, and you are top of the list of his favorite ones. He will read you like a book. He will understand even the things you don’t say, he will know the second you are ready. He will, however, wait for the right moment. Sometime when he knows he will have the energy, the free time and the emotional availability to do it.

He owes you his full attention if you are doing this together.

And once he seizes the opportunity he is going in for the kill. He proposes it in a serious tone. If it asn’t just the two of you, it would seem you were having a “family meeting”. He is straightforward about it.

“We should have a kid, Y/N. I think it’s time, I’m ready and you’re ready.”

And the words get caught in your throat because what the hell? You were incredibly ready. He knew this, you knew this. Your friends probably knew this.

From the way you cooed at any and every child under 5 whenever you spotted one, how little kids gravitated toward you at the park or at the movies and you always had a kind smile to offer them along with the helping hand finding their parents, to the way you seemed to constantly be handed strangers' babies at the grocery store or at airport lines.

It was no news. You always loved kids and after getting married and moving to your own home, you made it a point to have a guest room and an empty room. Chan had noticed. Why leave a room completely empty? “Just in case we need it someday” you had shrugged when he asked. But it was painfully obvious a few months into the move that you visited that room and stared at the empty walls with bright shiny eyes, with a smile that tugged at the corners of your lips in a way so subtle it was almost imperceptible, you always left the room with a sigh and a bowed head as if ashamed to have the plans you had for that room. Chan had witnessed it enough times to have you figured out. It brought a warmth to his heart, seeing how eager you were about the subject and yet you kept quiet because you didn't want to put any pressure on him, thinking he already had a lot to deal with as the leader of a very successful group.

So of course, the second he said those words you couldn’t help yourself. “Oh I was waiting for you to be ready!”

Chan lets out a joyful laugh, his eyes become tiny as his cheeks grow puffy with the glee in his reaction.

“I know!” He exhales, “but you didn’t say anything and I’m tired of it. When you want something -anything, please just tell me!” His expression softened "I'll always have time to listen to you, and there's nothing you can ask of me that I wouldn't give you."

He is leaning on the kitchen table while you’re sitting opposite him. You push yourself back on your chair and look at him with a side smile on your face, the rice cooker making its beeping sound to signal dinner is ready.

“How am I supposed to drop that one on you?!” You laugh as well, it’s clear you are not really arguing “Am I supposed to say “hey Chan, I want a baby” or what?”

“Well… yeah.” He scratches at his neck, “that’s okay, it’s a good way to start talking about it.”

You huff and look away, but ultimately you are pretty happy he brought it up. He knows this as well; there is no hiding your enthusiasm, you're practically buzzing.

“I do want to have a baby, Chan” you lean forward on the table, your elbows on the hard surface while you hide your smile behind your hands.

Chan sighs, stilling his laughter as he pulls the chair back to take a seat and stare at you. He poses his arms and hands the same as yours, mirroring your actions.

“I want that too”, he mumbles, shy but true.

“Can we have that?” You wonder, your eyes falling on his hands, soft yet strong.

Chan has held you many times, and supported you through different times. You know he can be a perfect constant to hold on to, but you wonder if his career can take this. If he can be there for you for this. Because if you are honest, your biggest fear is that he will put too much pressure on himself if he tries to be a leader and a good partner to a pregnant wife at the same time. You have always known him to be the kind of guy to step up without anyone asking him to. You have learned from him to be the same, to grow stronger for Chan to have someone to support him as well...but this time you have to be realistic, how much can you share the weight of things once you are also worried about the safety of a baby? How much stress can you take from him while getting ready to have a kid.

He drops his hands on the table, you have moved your gaze from his eyes to his hands to the table. You are doubtful, you are pulling away from him as you speak.

“We can.” He assures you, reaching out to pull your hands in his. “We can do this.”

Chan brings you back with his words, his tone is honest and bright. His eyes are full of joy and excitement.

You feel the warmth of his skin on your skin and look up with hope, your trust in him is so complete you nod, you don’t even think about it as you reply. You would die for your husband. You would take all the pain, all the responsibility, and hardships for him. And so would he for you. This is why doubting what you two can accomplish together is ridiculous, you shake your head from all those doubts and squeeze his hands between your own.

“Let’s do this.” You whisper.

--------

Likes, Reblogs and Comments are welcome! Thank you for reading!

[bullet-prooflove]

Turning up bloody on the door step ( john frost / chicago med )

Tagging: @kmc1989 @switchbladeclub @itsspelledbyannca @define-lying @midnightrain42

Prequel to:

Such a Good Boy

The first time John meets you, you literally turn up on his doorstep bloody. The figurative doorstep being the E.D. You’re not injured but you do have your hand tucked within the chest cavity of a nine year old boy, fingers pinching together one of his arteries so that the poor kid doesn’t bleed out.

They spend 45 minutes working around you, opening up the area before clamping it so that you can remove your hand. It comes out a stained mess and unlike a normal person in the aftermath of hideous situation, you don’t gag or throw up. You calmly use the paper towels to remove the surface layer of viscera until you’re escorted into the nearest shower facility to clean up.

You come out with damp hair, wearing a pair of burgundy scrubs a size too big for you and shoes from the lost and found, each foot a different brand of sneaker. Your own clothes are sealed in a clear bio-hazard bag, ready to be taken into evidence by CPD, because the hole you had your hand in was from a Colt 45, the poor kid’s lucky he didn’t die from such a catastrophic injury.

It’s in the aftermath of the whole thing he finds you in the Doctor’s Lounge, you have this look on your face, one he recognises form the nights he can’t catch his breath and your hands are starting to shake.

“Hey, hey.” He whispers crouching down in front of you, taking your hands in his. “It’s just the adrenaline, it needs somewhere to go.”

You’ve managed to keep yourself controlled until now, put together, it isn’t until there’s nothing left to do that the shock of the situation hits you.

“I’m sorry.” You say clenching your jaw as your body starts to quake. “Medically I know what this is but my head…” You trail off helplessly and  he understands. He’s been through some traumatic shit too, he knows how it messes you up. “It feels like I’m unmoored, like the worlds slipping away from me, like I’m falling...”

He’s deeply familiar with the sensation, how the floor slips out from underneath your feet, how disconcerting it can be. He takes your hands, placing them on his shoulders as he looks into your eyes.

“Hold on to me alright?” He says softly. “Let me be your anchor.”

Your grip tightens on his scrubs as he leans in close, gathering you up into his arms, holding you steady. The scent of his aftershave floods your senses, an undercurrent of cedarwood tinged with lavender. You breathe it in, long inhales that fill your chest with oxygen, followed by similar exhales that regulate your breathing.

“That’s it.” He whispers, his breath ghosting in your ear. “You’re doing great.”

The trembling starts to subside and you can feel your heart thundering against his. The intimacy isn’t lost on you. It’s the closest you’ve been to a man in two years and it awakens something inside you.

“Better?” He asks, sitting back on his knees to give you a little space and you nod your head in response.

“Yea. Much.” You say, taking in another steadying breath. “Sorry I don’t even know your name.”

“It’s Jonathan, Jonathan Frost. I work as a paediatrician here at Med.” He tells you holding out his hand to shake yours.

“Bailey.” You say, gripping his hand tightly. “I work Oncology underneath Doctor Washington.”

“Well Bailey, I get off shift in a couple of minutes, could I drop you off on the way home? Make sure you get in ok or at least find two matching pairs of shoes.” He says as you both look down at the sneakers your wearing, the one with the velcro strips and then the one with the actual shoe laces.

“I would really appreciate that Johnny.”

Johnny… Noone’s called him that in years, he likes the way it sounds rolling off your tongue.

“Just give me a second to finish my charts.” He says raising to his feet before heading to his cubby and handing you his coat to bundle up in. “Then I’m all yours, I promise.”

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[thewalrusespublicist]

"Tbh I was starting to feel a bit down about my blog and what I was putting out ( the eternal crisis on how to give full answers and opinions without being stupid, boring and annoying lol)"

OMG no way! Your blog is one of the best here! What i love the most is reading the analysis and meta from the users, there's always more information and good takes, and yours are always quite deep and insightful.

I would love if you share your opinions about Stuart as well. I feel like he is obviously more sanctified that he should be since he died young (like that insane quote from his mom saying that Brian told her that Stuart could have been the Beatles' manager, no way lol) and i feel his memory has been used to attack Paul, sometimes in a very unfair way. Like, i don't deny the teenage drama and jealousy that Paul felt about him but he *was* a shitty bass player and the band was Paul's future, he was allowed to criticized him not only for being John's new bestie. I also think John played with them both but i lack of your eloquence so i will love to read your take about it.

Hi anon! And the other anons!

Thank you again and to all the other messages I got, they were extremely sweet and really made my day. :)

From my inbox, it's clear you guys want to know about Stu and his role in the Beatles legacy. Well you asked for it and a novel you shall have. Be warned this might be the longest post I've done so grab like a drink or something.

A few disclaimers: I wish and had intended for this to be more of a deep dive into Stu as a whole person rather than just his relationship with John and Paul. Unfortunately I just didn't have the space to do it. If you want to know more about Stu I would highly recommend @eppysboys' blog which is the source for all things Stu Sutcliffe and where I got a lot of this info. Please check their stuff out. Also, I'm going to be a bit blunter on this than maybe I usually am because this topic has been irritating me for some time. Oh also I’m trying my best to answer a lot of asks in one post so please forgive if I don’t fully answer your specific ask about this!

Stu in a perfect world should be a fandom darling: an exciting cipher, a handsome artistic talent that died way too soon who had a major influence in the early Beatles style. It's like there’s this secret other James Dean looking mf Beatle hidden away to uncover, that's cool and he is cool! The problem is that he’s sort of becomes radioactive to talk about in a normal way due to how he's been portrayed and utilised in some biographies and fandom spaces, particularly those that have been infected by John Lennon aspirational boy bestie syndrome. As those types of spaces cannot seem to exist without tearing down Paul to prop John up as their special lil guy, Stu as John's other best friend has become the ideal heavy object to hit Paul McCartney over the head with. It's like a corrosive element, the minute Stu hits a Beatles bio, the biographer suddenly loses all training in objectivity and source work and starts waxing lyrical about 100 percent reliable never biased or wrong Saint Stu of Hamburg who died for our condom arson sins and that Paul McCartney should feel bad about every day of his life for not worshipping Stu and not accepting his own ‘place’ in life as John's just-some-guy placeholder best friend. I’ve personally seen so many posts and forums where Stu being mentioned leads to a legion of comments about how Paul could never have been Stu (correct both ways) and how John would never have even glanced at Paul for much longer if Stu had been alive. Sidenote: If you seriously think that the musical savant from down the road whom John went on to produce the most prolific song writing partnership in history with couldnt have kept his attention for long then I'm begging you on hands and knees to get your head out of the arse of your John Lennon body pillow and be serious. But anyway…

This boy bestie battle royale approach has in turn lead to a reflex reaction where Stu gets studiously ignored by other sections of the fandom as a precedent has been set that shining a light on him diminishes Paul and John's relationship with Paul. It's frustrating because if people weren't so keen to cut Paul out of his own story then we would get a much better nuanced view of every single person involved.

So let's put aside all of our defenses, cut the John Lennon loved one ranking system bullshit and lets look at the actual question here which is what was John and Stu's relationship really like and what did he mean to John?

John and Stu met at art college a year or so after Paul and John met. Up to that point John and Paul had their fun little codependant thing going on but Stu quickly became a huge fixture in John's life. Stu had things that Paul couldn't really offer at that point in time. John was at his heart a musician who aspired to be seen as an artist (he would later express surprise that he didn't become an artist). Stu was the passionate artist who knew tons about the art of the period that could teach and inspire John. Their creative leanings meant they could work on projects together and share art notebooks and poetry. (Including yes the one with anti-semitic story which I mention again as I believe it's an important thing to remember when it comes to both John and Stu and the culture of the time.) Stuart by the sounds of it was even writing a novel about John at the time of his death. They were fascinated and inspired by each other.

So, creatively they fired each other up but more importantly perhaps, Stu and John were peers. It's funny to think about when you see the Beatles later but at the time Paul and George were the kids in their school uniform coming to see their cool older friend at art school. That's an important divide. When Paul and George's parents insisted their kids do their homework and go to bed, John and Stu could stay up and talk all hours of the night, which they did. They also could rent a place together and spend long hours chatting (despite John moving out later after realising electricity cost money lol.) There's a different dynamic that the age similarity offered as well. Whilst Paul would later somewhat grow into this role, Stu could act as an authority figure to John as well as open up to John in a way you can really only do with your peers. Stu was the person John opened up to throughout Stu's life:

How long can one go on writing and writing like you. I now don’t really know who I’m writing to or why it’s quiet peculiar. I usually write like this and forget about it but if I put it in a little part of my [almost?] secret self in the hands of someone miles away who will wonder what the hell is going on or just pass it off as toilet paper. Anyway I don’t care really what happens because when I think about it, it’s so bloody unimportant – but what is important who has the right to say that this letter is not important and this is a something any way – anyway – anyway – yeah! I wonder what it would be like to be a cretin or something. I bet it’s gear. & how are you keepin Stuart old chap are you as ok – is life as good – bad shite, great – wonderful as it was or is it just a thousand years of nothing and coolness on and on and on. I think this is it Goodbye Stu don’t write out of – er what is it? well not because you think you ought to write when you feel like So goodbye (from John you know the one with glasses) ANYWAY BYE BYE see you soon I don’t know why I said that I remember a time when everyone I loved hated me because I hated them so what so what so fucking what I remember a time when belly buttons were knee high when only shitting was dirty and everything else clean + beautiful I can’t remember anything without a sadness So deep that it hardly becomes known to me so deep that its tears leave me a spectator of my own STUPIDITY + so I go rambling on with a hey nonny nonny nonny no

Extract from a letter to Stuart Sutcliffe from John Lennon, 1961

By lots of accounts Stu was gentle but firm when it came to telling John he'd gone too far. John references this aspect of Stu to Hunter Davies:

"I looked up to Stu. I depended on him to tell me the truth. Stu would tell me if something was good and I'd believe him."

The Beatles: The Authorised Biography (Hunter Davies)

In this way I kind of see Stu as a proto-Yoko. John was so insecure and uncertain about his grip on the world and reality that he relied on Stu to be his point of reference and guide. Paul did this too later and I think in Hunter Davies John mentions this, but not at this time period and not as much due to their competitiveness. This may be why some people saw Stu as the person that really understood John at this time period:

"During the turbulent adolescence that prefaced a turbulent manhood, hardly anyone knew Lennon as intimately as Stuart Sutcliffe. If they weren't exactly David and Jonathan, June Furlong, one of the life models at Liverpool's Regional College of Art, had "never seen two teenagers as close as those two."

The Gospel According To Lennon by Alan Clayson

Now this person likely never met John and Paul together but this is only one of many similar quotes and even Julia captain of John and Paul's friendship boat seems to agree there was a period where Stu dominated and Paul 'kept his distance' from the John-Cyn-Stu 'menage-a-trois'. But the friendship wasn't perfect and his position as John's ultimate best friend was never iron clad. This is best outlined by the shit they pulled when John convinced him to join on Bass for the Beatles.

Despite being John's best friend, Stu was teased and bullied:

"They argued as usual amongst themselves, but most of all they picked on Stu, the newest member of the group. John, George and Paul had been with each other long enough to know that rows and arguments and criticism didn't mean much. If it did, you just argued back. "We were terrible," says John. "We'd tell Stu he couldn't sit with us, or eat with us. We'd tell him to go away, and he did." At one hotel they stayed at, a variety show had just left. There had been a dwarf in the show and they found out which bed he had slept in and said that would have to be Stu's. They certainly weren't going to sleep in it. So Stu had to. "That was how he learned to be with us," says John. "It was all stupid, but that was what we were like."

The Beatles: The Authorised Biography (Hunter Davies)

Why John encouraged this I have no idea, maybe jealousy over Stu's looks and wanting to play people off each other? Things were tense in both Scotland and Hamburg, especially between Stu and Paul. As I said in my last post, the girls were fighting and it was mutual. Paul was mad for both fair and immature teenage-boy reasons. Stu could not be bothered with the bass most of the time and couldn't really play well and was only there as he was '(John's) best friend' (ouch for Paul). Paul conversely had given up higher education to be there and was sending lots of money back home. He also was dating the girl Paul fancied. Stu was popular with the new group and also did mean things like help John steal Paul's money when money was really tight for him. Paul in turn was a passive aggressive, jealous and mean. It all came to ahead in the punch up onstage which according to Spitz came about from Paul wanting money back and saying that Stu could borrow some from Astrid. Stu goes for him and reports vary from full-on bust up to embarrassing scuffle. Stu then goes to where Astrid and Paul's gf Dot are, demands Dot leaves and goes on a rant about Paul. Now all of this must be framed in the context of Stu receiving increasing brain damage from his condition that seemingly lead to mood swings and anger. Nevertheless, the mutual needling and anger, as well as John's refusal to do/say fuck all about it, especially given how protective John was of Stu, suggests that it wasn’t straightforward and/or John may have been playing some games to make both feel threatened. This would also make sense as to why we hear conflicting accounts of John and Stu being the centre of everything and everyone else in orbit AND John and Paul being the centre and everyone else playing catch-up, as well as John giving Paul the lead to take him round the Reeperbahn when John got dressed in the gorilla costume. (I know Paul may have just been the closest there but that always gave off bestie behaviour to me.)

(I did get an ask about how John and Paul's friendship survived it, I think it was damaged by Hamburg. When Paul got back home he got a job at a construction site and there's just a vibe of everything being a bit on tenterhooks. John also acts a bit weird at the period, not talking to anyone for a few weeks then making a lot of weird demands from Paul. I'm really not sure what to make of it.)

Even when he's back in Liverpool, John still writes long letters to Stu and vice-versa. I can't find it at all but I’ve read a really sad interview with John saying he missed his best mate and it's a shame that he's not with them. He had no idea at that point that Stu had already died of a brain hemorrhage at 21.

John is said to have gone into hysterics when he found out Stu had died. A lot of people who've spoken about this time (Aunt Mimi, his sister Julia, the Exsis) concur that at this point Stu was his best friend and the death shattered him. He even told Astrid he wished he could give his life for Stu’s. This is backed up by the fact that John never forgot Stu and his shadow lingered for the rest of John's life:

Stu was recalled in In My Life

Years later, after John composed the first of his truly poignant and heartfelt Beatles songs, "In My Life"—with its lines about "friends I still can recall/some are dead and some are living"—he revealed to me that the two people he had had uppermost in mind were myself and Stuart Sutcliffe. And then he stunned me with a statement that I'd never heard him address to anyone—least of all to another man. "You know, Pete," he said softly, "I do love you. But," he quickly added, "I loved Stuart as well."

Weird that Paul isn't mentioned surely you think that he would be mentioned if Pete was there too okay, okay my tin hat is going away this isn't the time

Pete Shotton, Nicholas Schaffner, John Lennon: In My Life

In 1965 John drew Stu on a postcard

He apparently said this about Stu prior to sending the postcard, prompted by an article about Stuart.

The card had been sent from Genoa mid-way through the Beatles' Italian tour. [...] But the conversation had become maudlin when I reminded him that he was going to talk to me for an article about Stuart. [...] In that sad telephone conversation before they set off for Milan, I asked him if he was happy: 'I'd be a lot happier if Stuart was still part of us,' he said, 'The Beatles would be complete.' And before he rang off he said 'Ill send you something.'

He also appears on the cover of Sgt Pepper

As mentioned, Stu gets mentioned in Hunter Davies in terms of wistfulness and guilt AND he gets a mention in John's insane 'if I were a homosexual' ramblings in early 70s. According to Yoko, John also wanted Yoko to write letters to him and didn't think it would be strange because Stu wrote letters to him.

I have a pet theory that as with a lot of things for John, his unresolved grief over Stu really came to the fore in the late 60s now that he had actually had a chance to sit down and think about things. I believe it was partially why he wanted Yoko to write letters and why he gets mentioned in the early 70s as a collaborator/best friend and not in 1980 where John only gives that credit to Paul and Yoko. I think with the cracks with Paul, John had started to think back on his old friend and guide and what advice he would give.

Stuarts presence is still felt throughout the seventies:

“He told me everything. He loved to talk about Hamburg. There were no secrets. It was the kind of life I never knew…. It meant total freedom. At his side always was Stuart, sweet Stuart. There wasn’t a time in John’s life when he didn’t think about Stuart. He spoke always of his love and respect for Stuart.”

Yoko discussing Stu in When They Were Boys: The True Story of the Beatles’ Rise to the Top by Larry Kane

Coming to grips with his death is also present in Skywriting

SEAN O’HAIRE: What happened to Stuart Cliff? DR. FISCHY: What happened was a full exchange of energy where it was not needed within the expression of your own self or in the energies involved around and about you. We cannot call it a happening. We’ll say it is an awakening, for in that way it has served an expression from the past to the present and to the future to where there shall be more of that incomplete vibration expressed to you in a more fuller understanding.

Skywriting by Word of Mouth, John Lennon

This isn't exhaustive but I think from all this it's pretty clear that John adored Stu, John grieved Stu and kept grieving Stu. Stu had a specific place in his life as a confidant that he tried to recreate with Yoko. At the time of Stu's death, he was John's best friend, probably slightly over Paul. Stuart had been able to be both a friend and paternal presence, a confidant and an artistic collaborator. His presence and loss was one of the foundational points in John's life.

But as we've been asked to play this stupid game and so many bios like to make a hoopla about it, were they at their closest ever as close as John and Paul were at their height?

No.

How do we know? Because John told us so:

" He [Paul] still is the closest friend I've ever had, except for Yoko, so I'm still close to him whatever goes on."

John Lennon to an interviewer, 1971

But Walrus! John just says shit! How do we know he isn't leaving out Stu because the press don't know Stu. Well true John does just say shit but this is at a time where John isn't the most glowing about Paul and he's had no problem mentioning Stu in this time period ('one of my best friends ever' would have made a similar point).

But Walrus again! If John picked Stu over Paul when they were young why wouldn't he be the boy bestie of all time, and why would John say that he was closer to Paul? Well, because of the environment and timings. Stu's death happened near the beginning of John and Paul's major bonding moments. If you look at their personal timeline, Paris, the Nerk twins, and getting signed happened just before Stu died. That's missing the major years of Beatlemania, Key West, LSD, Paul growing more into being John's peer and a load of other huge moments in their lives. It's like how John writes to Cyn in 1962 about wanting the house to themselves and not have Paul around all the time. Would you say because he feels closer to Cyn then that John in his overall lifetime loved Cyn more than Paul? No, because relationships change over time and theirs were no exception. (One thing to consider as well is that we don't yet have many letters between John and Paul during their Beatles years and earlier, probably because they were spending so much time with each other. We know a couple exist that Paul considers too personal for publication but I'm sure there are others. It's easy to understand what John felt for Stu as we have the letters, I think we would also have an easier time understanding what John felt for Paul if we had the equivalent of those.)

At the end of the day Paul was the man he believed he had a psychic bond with, the man he couldn’t shut up about, the man whom he’d conquered the world with with their endless collaboration, the man with a twin personality to him and according to John spent more time with throughout the 60s than he had with Yoko ever. To be frank if Paul had died in 67' I don't think this would have been a conversation.

As mentioned early, in early 1970s John elevates his partnership with Stu to his collaborations with Paul and Yoko but by 1980 he’s pretty clear that Paul and Yoko are their own category.

"I was saying to somebody the other day, “There’s only two artists I’ve ever worked with for more than a one night stand, as it were. That’s Paul McCartney, and Yoko Ono.” And I think that’s a pretty damned good choice!!"

John Lennon interview with DJ Dave Sholin, 1980

There are of course the what ifs. Would Stu still being alive mean that John was not as close with Paul? Maybe, highly doubtful though as the Beatles experience was so intense. If Stu remained a Beatle would John be as close with Paul? If Stu remained a Beatle he wouldn't be Stu so no. At the same time who knows what it would have been like if Paul and John were peers from the off? I said this to @the62ndbugsfan when it comes to Stu vs Paul (hi girl sorry i've made our chat a whole ass post lol) but to go a bit Wuthering Heights, soulmates are made as much from the earth as they are of the stars. What binds us is our experiences just as much as our personalities. There may be a universe where Stu and John took on the art world together or became inseparable bffs again after the Beatles disbanded, but it is not our universe. In this universe Stu tragically died and John and Paul chose to become Lennon/McCartney and artistically unite themselves forever.

Even going back to Stu's lifetime, I've said it before and I'll say it again I find it interesting that not only did John choose to go to Paris with Paul rather than pay to meet up with Stu somewhere but that they arranged to meet up with Juergen and nobody told Stu until they'd already gone. Stu was shocked and didn't know if it meant the end of the Beatles which is a pretty big thing for him not to know about. Why didn't John tell him if they're apparently still writing long letters? Was it because he really wanted to do this with Paul and didn't want to hurt Stu's feelings? And that's really the point I want to make here. Due to his trauma John was preoccupied with reinforcing ranking of relationships within his life. But the thing is friendship rankings are made up guidelines and the reality is far more complicated. You can have a designated best friend but feel closer to another friend at times, you can want to do one thing specifically with one friend and not the other for various reasons. You can (as I do) have more than one equal best friend. Friendship as with most relationships are in a constant state of flux and each friendship you have will give and mean a different thing, even if they are of similar value to you.

Paul may have ended up closer to John than Stu had been, but that doesen't make John's relationship with Stu any less special. Nor does Stu negate the significance of Paul. Whilst both fit into John's pattern of intense relationships and demands related to that, both had unique positions and meaning to him. Considering what I've gone into about John's closeness to Stu, it actually says something deeply, borderline unnervingly, intense about John and Paul that Paul pipped Stu to the post. Maybe it's time Beatles bios accept the fact that John Lennon just wouldn't be into them like that, stop using a tragically prematurely deceased young man as a prop in their jealous psychological warfare against Paul McCartney, stop perpetuating one of the most damaging games that John did to his loved ones and allow both relationships the space to shine and showcase the amazing talent that was the Beatles and those that surrounded them.

[ilovejungwonandhaechan]

a little knack — yjw pt. 1

pairing: acadmic rival!jungwon x academic rival!reader

🎧 - earned it by the weeknd

note: jungwon is the student council president and the salutatorian (2nd rank) and reader is the valedictorian (1st rank). there's just a lot of tension in between them tbh

a/n: first fic!! not proofread bc i'm lazy lol i feel like i'm manifesting being sal or val at school #academicweapon??

wc: 624

fic under the cut!

jungwon is focused on some paperwork in the student council room. he is wearing headphones, jamming his favorite song at the moment when he suddenly looks up to the person by the door. upon seeing you, he sighs loudly, pausing his music before looking at you unamused.

“bitch, what was that reaction?”

jungwon arches an eyebrow as his earphones dangle on his neck. “wow. language, please.”

“oh, yes, dearest student council president. i will do anything you say because you’re an elite. my lord and savior.” you giggle as you spew sarcastic words out of your mouth.

“watch your tongue. i might get used to you calling me ‘dear' and ‘lord’ all the time.” jungwon’s slight smirk turns into a mocking grin upon hearing your sarcastic response. he puts down the pen he had been holding and leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest.

“you wish, bitch.” upon hearing you emphasize the word ‘bitch’ like that, jungwon’s amused attitude slowly starts to change: his jaw muscles twitch and he narrows his eyes at you. jungwon lets out an annoyed huff, clearly frustrated. he studies you for a moment, his gaze intense.

“you know what? i’ve had enough of your attitude.” he stands up from his chair and walks around the desk to stand right in front of you.

“why? are you sad you only got a 98 on the bio test while i got a perfect score? oh, poor, poor jungwon.” you said as you challenged him by walking closer.

jungwon grits his teeth at your words, obviously upset by hearing you flaunt your higher academic standing. his eyes darken while his gaze burns into yours. “oh, you think you’re so clever, huh? is that your way of trying to get under my skin? your attititude is irritating. you think you’re better than everyone else.”

you take a step closer to him and send him a wink and a smug smile. “oh, honey… being valedictorian means i am better than everyone else.”

“you really think you can mess with me like this, don’t you? with your damn smirk and smart talk?" he takes another step forward, closing the distance between you guys. your chests are almost touching. jungwon’s jaw clenches after seeing your wink and smile. he’s trying to keep his cool, but you’re really testing his limits.

“well, yes because that’s what i’m doing right now, am i not?” you take another step forward.

he takes another step forward. “i think you like seeing me mad. i think you like the effect you have on me.” he mutters through clenched teeth with his minty breath fanning your face.

“correction: i like the effects. plural.” 

jungwon’s heart skips a beat after hearing your correction, and the smirk on your face drives him over the edge. he reaches forward and grabs your shoulders, pushing you backward until your back is pressed up the wall. “you’re enjoying this, aren't you?”

“you stand corrected because you clearly like this more than i do. of course, you would like the thought of someone catching us like this and getting all the wrong ideas, wouldn’t you?”

jungwon’s chest is pressed against yours. his body traps you against the wall. he’s breathing heavily from frustration, and his expression is still angry with a hint of something else. “and what if i do? what if i like the thought of someone seeing us like this?”

you lean in and whisper in his ear, “then it’s clear what kind of effects i really have on you.” you smirk at him, push him off, and exit the room confidently.

he lets out a frustrated sigh. running a hand through his hair, he mutters under his breath, “damn it."

read part two here!

[gleepatrol]

I've been seeing a lot of dunking on Chimera lately (deserved) so I decided to pitch in. I might have hyped this up already, but it's finally here. Welcome to...

A Serious Review of Meteorcare's Designs

by gleepatrol/Mod Rocket

Disclaimer: THIS IS BY NO MEANS TO SUPPORT CHIMERA! For many reasons. In fact, this was made to clown on him, but in a thoughtful way where the readers can get something useful out of it.

CW: blood and eyestrain, but you probably already knew that.

Under the cut because this is long.

First and foremost, let's introduce our victims. I will mostly keep myself limited to the worst designs of the bunch so we actually have something to talk about.

Meet Pepper, Fotoh, Bea, and Banger. And their parents because it will be relevant: Doom and Uni, unknown, Bec and Scratch, and Hemera and Uni, respectively. I will put those parent characters below so we have some context.

One last touch, I'm not touching the silhouettes or outfits except for color tweaks. They're fine. They're whatever.

Case 1: Pepper

My immediate thought looking at this character: where did half of these colors come from?

The purple is technically from Uni (Cometcare Uni's wings to be exact. But she can change the color of those at any moment? I don't think that would be genetic or end up being the main body color even if they were.) and the white is from Doom, but the green? The blue? The grey? No freaking clue! You could argue the blue and green are from Doom's ear stripes, but how is such a minor area spreading to their tail and eyes? They only make sense on the ears. On an extra note, this also begs the question, where are the fur patterns from? You can and should deviate a little from the parents, don't get me wrong. I'm not a fan of miniature clone children myself, but Pepper's patterns make him look more like a raccoon more than a dog/rat hybrid.

My second thought, what is the theme here? I believe it's supposed to be arcadecore or party themed but that's not clear from the name or design. I only glimpsed that information from their bio. These colors don't really read arcade or party. They feel random since they neither relate to the theme or very strongly to her parents' colors. If anything, Uni's original electric magenta read arcade better! It's the lack of intent that bothers me. I cannot see the vision!

One more minor note: the grey and purple blend in quite a bit. I would make one and/or the other lighter and/or darker. Don't believe me? Let's try the classic black and white filter trick.

Unreadable. As I said. But hey buddy, you genuinely look better in black and white! I don't have to look at those random colors! Here's Doom in black and white for reference.

You can still tell what's a different color.

But anyway. Enough yapping. Let me show you visually how I would change Pepper. Don't you dare use this if you are Chimera or any associate of his. This isn't a free redesign for you or your cronies. I will speak up if I catch any of you using anything I edit from here on out.

PS: I've heard some roasts of Pepper's arm, but I rather like it myself. It gives a new spin on Doom's multiple limbs thing and if you got a problem with that you have a problem with Smoky Quartz from Steven Universe who did this first. Anyway!

Doesn't this read better as a Doomi child who likes to party? The colors are simper and more intentful now!

I also tried to combine some similar colors such as making the blue on the shirt match the eyes and the red becoming pink to reduce the overall pallet.

Case 2: Fotoh

Need I say it again? What do these colors have to do with the theme? Also, too many colors! Her allotpun is photonegative which are those inverse color pictures like this:

Cool theme! We are barely using it though. Easy fix. Keep the blue colors and toss almost everything else! There were way too many colors with no apparent reason to have so many.

This is still ugly imo but it's justfiably ugly given the theme, so I can excuse it. Take it I guess. She actually looks nice when. Well, photonegatived (right image) so uh gimmick character. I couldn't think of anything better. I know she's still ugly. Feel free to improve on my edit because I'll accept that.

Case 3: Bea

Where. Do I even start. This is the opposite problem as Pepper. We are taking Too Many of the parents' colors. It's too much, very busy. Why are those pink spots there? Neither parent has spots of that color! My suggestion, pick some of the coherent colors of the parents that go together well, not all of them. I will respect this character being so neon due to lore reasons, but geeezzzzz neon doesn't mean complete eyebleed. Taking a look at Bec and Scratch, they both have blue as a prominent color, so we can play with that to start off the pallet. Bec also has yellow while Scratch is green. These could work as well since they are analogous colors to blue. Keep in mind analogous and complementary colors when designing! It's very helpful! While Bec also has purple eyes and Scratch has pink ones with pink elsewhere, I'm going to mostly ignore these colors since they would add too much to both be included.

(Aside note, I just noticed while trying to edit how many coloring and linework errors Bea has; goodness gracious. But that's not the point of this essay.)

You can see I also changed the scar color because they were just abrasively pink and colored as if they were fresh which I'll take a wild guess and assume they're not. Also, I snuck in Bec's purple into the shorts because "why orange?"

Base 4: Banger

Oh, no. It's the final boss. Is that One Winged Angel playing in the background? (Haha Banger only has one wing, two for one joke) All jokes aside, hoooooo boy. I. Yeah. Okay, first of all, why does he have stitched on parts? That shouldn't be inherited from Hemera. Those are not genetic! Those were part of her design because she was being tortured like a science experiment! By no logic should Banger have these unless he was also experimented on which would be weird since Sparklecare shouldn't exist anymore if it's a Cometcare kid. First tip, get rid of this. Second, the only way I can phrase this point is: "this is my son, he has every disease". Broken horn, torn ear, glows-a-lot (which neither Hemera nor Uni have), sewn on parts, only one wing. Some of these are fine in isolation but all of them just feels ridiculous especially with no reason given. I think the reason might be it's reckelss so everything got hurt so I'll keep the broken or torn stuff and the one wing thing because that's the most interesting twist I'll say: only having one wing. Also, why are there patterns on your wings? Where did that come from? That's an artstyle thing, you realize that right? Not part of Uni's actual design? Also, need I say this again, say it with me folks: too many colors! And where are they from? The only ones that seem to be from somewhere is the purple and yellow from Uni but I can't read a single hint of Hemera here except for the replaced limbs which I already explained how I don't understand that decision.

I think he's supposed to be beach themed? But honestly, it's giving random button on the Picrew instead.

So, here's what I have. I still kept the belly orange but this time it was for a reason: to have a sunset color. Pretend it's Hemera's yellow and Uni's purple mixed.

I also added some blue to make the Hemera part clearer and changed the glows-a-lot to hemophilia like Hemera to make his connection to her clearer. The wing is now from Uni's pink wing to go with the sunset theme as are the orange shorts.

And that's all!

Congratulations! You survived this essay! If you're Not Chimera, feel free to steal my edits. Fair game! I allow you to!

TLDR: Stop including so many unnecessary colors without a clear theme in mind and stop giving them every feature from their parents combined! Look at a color wheel for analogous and complementary colors, and use your black and white filter every now and again!

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/772466210024652800/on-the-subject-of-blank-ao3-accounts-i-block?source=share

I'm really curious how anon deals with private bookmarks. How will you guard your fic from people who aren't "going to do the absolute bare minimum" from that, exactly? We'll set aside that blocked people can still read works on AO3 by the person who blocked them. We'll ignore that for now. How will you keep people from reading your work and bookmarking it privately for later? How do you handle the anger/paranoia that surges at the audacity of a blank account liking your stuff if you can't pinpoint who did it?

Genuinely I do not think AO3 is the right site for you. It has a lot of anti-harassment features built into it and between not showing someone's commenting history and allowing them to bookmark something without the author seeing it, it just doesn't seem like it fits your entitlement. Because, to be clear? The idea an account must be good enough to earn the privilege of reading your work is entitled. "In order to read my work you need to-" No. No, they don't. They don't need an icon, or a bio, or anything else. This is not a transaction. Fanfic is not a business. You're not selling something to a customer who has to abide by No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service. You're putting something into an archive. That archive has always been for anyone to look at and browse.

Lots of people read your fics and never bookmark or leave kudos. Punishing the people who leave visible bookmarks - or attempting to, in this case, since the block function doesn't hide your work from them - is counterproductive. If you have a habit of blocking people who like your work enough to bookmark it, you will never get comments from them because when they go to comment, they won't be able to.

I have one commenter who regularly leaves 4 to 6 paragraph long comments analyzing each chapter of something I put out. You would have blocked him for bookmarking something to come back to later and thus wouldn't have gotten the comment. You are actively sabotaging your own comments section. And you don't even end up having controlled who accesses your texts as a result.

To quote/steal a joke from a YouTuber, "Shots fired - directly into your own foot."

--

[willothewispwisteriadawn]

I find it interesting that the fanon interpretation of Chris is that he’s introverted and awkward (I also fall victim to this mindset) but canonically he presents extroverted and somewhat confident. The personality database says he’s an ENTP. (https://www.personality-database.com/profile/6755/christopher-chris-hartley-until-dawn-mbti-personality-type)

You seem to have a deep understanding of Chris so I just wanted to know your opinion on this!

Oh fun! A Chris question. I love those! (Sorry, Anon. It took me a couple days to collect my response.)

I think all these observations makes a ton of sense. Chis is definitely more of an extrovert overall. He isn't afraid to be corny or to yap about his interests. He is awkward, but he doesn't seem to be self-conscious about his nerdiness. In fact, his actor also seems to think he's cool being who he is:

Noah Fleiss: "Chris is what society might consider the nerd of the group. And he kind of embraces it.

We see him make a number of jokes with Sam (his little "badass" dance, the joke when he sees her at the door, the monk prank, etc.). And Josh can mention that Chris loves to talk about his phone. Chris also has no issue teasing Jessica.

It's also notable that Chris doesn't even perceive a reason people might make fun of him:

Ashley: If it was you, don't you think you would have run away? I mean who likes being made fun of? Chris: People don't make fun of me. Ashley: To your face. Chris: What?

In a lot of ways, he's not insecure at all.

But I think the introvert reading of him definitely comes from how he interacts with Ashley.

It's vital to Chris's arc that he's nervous about asking Ashley out, to the point where Josh claims he might never do it, unless some traumatic bonding is involved. Chris gives a reason that he's not forward with Ashley:

Chris: But what if it's like, weird... and what if she might not like, wanna be friends with me anymore if I try something like that.

So, his primary concern is that he'll shoot his shot, and Ashley will be put off; then he'll lose her as a companion altogether. The "introvert" reading likely comes from fans perceiving his timidity here.

But, I don't think Chris is acting this way because he's extremely introspective, has a low social battery, etc. His issue is that he's terrified of failing at things.

Dr. Hill: Well, Chris has a fear of failure. Do you feel pity for him?

Sony Bio: [Chris is] also witty, loyal and intelligent, though his fear of failure means he's unable to confess his feelings to his long-time crush Ashley.

In most cases, Chris probably doesn't feel like he's in a position to fail at something. With Ashley, he is. He has a goal here: to get Ashley to be his girlfriend. And he has a possibility for failure: She says no. Then there's the terrifying possibility for double failure: losing the relationship he does have. It's important to note that Chris highly values Ashley as a friend and isn't just trying to get a girlfriend:

Ashley: We're always talking around it, and now, I mean, we've wasted everything! Chris: Ashley, none of it was wasted. Ashley: What do you mean? Chris: Every second that I spent with you was the only thing I ever wanted to do with my time.

Because failing is so terrifying to him, he just doesn't act.

So anyway, that's the thing. It is important that Chris is timid in this area of his life, but it stems more from the fear of failing (losing Ashley) than it does from a general introverted-ness.

Additionally, Chris is analytical, but it's more around practical problem-solving. He can be awkward with emotions. One thing that has struck me about his relationship with Josh (and how Chris differs from Ashley), is that Chris is a little simple when dealing with people. It's very clear he cares for Josh and is worried about him, but sometimes I think he just wants to believe in solutions. He is pretty adamant with Sam that the reunion will be good for Josh and really help him. He can try to ask Josh how he's doing, but is easily quieted when Josh just says he's fine. After the seance, he tries to offer the solution that Josh will be okay, if they give him time, while Ashley is more putting herself in his shoes.

Chris: Ah man... I mean, he'll be okay. Let's... let's just give him some time.

Later

Ashley: Josh looked really freaked out at the seance. Chris: Yeah, I mean he looked like he was keeping it together, but... Ashley: Do you think we shouldn't have mentioned his sisters? Chris: I mean, it's why we came back up here. Ashley: Yeah but, not to like, have a seance. Maybe we went too far.

Now, none of this is Chris being an apathetic friend. To me, it reads like he just wants a solution: the reunion will help, time will fix this, etc. I think his attitude here comes across as hesitant, so maybe this is also why people catch of whiff of introverted-ness from him. But I think it probably comes a bit more from his practical nature (you see him and Ashley clashing because she'd rather believe in a temperamental ghost who can be soothed, and he'd rather believe in a man using machinery to mess with them).

So, anyway, this was a lot, but it's my overall thoughts on this question! Chris's battery seems charged by being with others; he's not quickly overwhelmed by socializing. But there are a few points in his life where he's more nervous: the thought of failure can make him anxious, and he isn't particularly good at abstracts and emotional things. That said, Chris's love for his friends (willing to try to save Sam and Josh) is a highlight of his character for me, and he has "loyalty" as a major trait.

Anyway, thanks for giving me a topic to run away with, Anon! (^ . ^)

[katiebuggg]

Temporary Secretary -- Chapter 4

This fic is also posted on my ao3! (see bio)

also feel free check out the Pinterest board I made for this fic!

----

That following Monday, you feel like you’ve been shoved into a brick wall. You are exhausted, to say the very least.

Nonetheless, you drag yourself out of your bed and slip into your usual business casual clothing.

A fitting pencil skirt, with a white button-up tucked into it. You slip on a suit jacket with thin shoulder pads and a belt for good measure,

You powder your face and you’re ready to go, grabbing a coffee and an egg sandwich on the way to the dreaded office.  

When you walk into the waiting room, Paul is leaning on your desk, head down. You clear your throat.

“Good morning, Mr. McCartney…” you awkwardly mumble out and walk towards your desk (as well towards him).

“I should apologize—“ he says rather suddenly and drags a hand down his face. He looks a mess — hair all sorts of unmanaged, wrinkled shirt, and an untied dress shoe.

You take your seat and place your stuff down for the day, shifting your suit jacket off.

“You should.” you say plainly without looking at him.

He’s leaned over your desk again, looking down at either you or your papers or your hands… his eyes are scattered and nervous, it seems.

Paul doesn’t say anything for a long moment.

You take a sip from your coffee before tapping a stack of papers on the desk. You scan him in his messy state.

He disregards your comment. “What I did Friday night was extremely unprofessional.” Paul gulps and rests his hands on his hips. His ears are tinted pink.

“I won’t let it happen again. I get, uh—“ he hesitates.

You look up at him with a catty smile. You put your elbows on the table and rest your head in your hands.

“I get honest… when I drink.” Paul says and clears his throat.

Before you can reply he’s already said his goodbyes — “Let’s have a productive day.” and shuts himself up into his office.

The day moves along as it normally does — your fingers dragging along the heavy, metal, typewriter, taking miscellaneous calls and writing down random notes.

Soon enough, the clock strikes lunch and Paul still hasn’t stepped out of his office. Hasn’t called you in to ask you questions or to tell you to do something, hasn’t put his order in for lunch — nothing.

However, as you’re packing your things for lunch, John slips in. That familiar foxy grin stretches wide across his face.

“What’s your plan for lunch?” he asks without even saying hello, pushing his glasses up on the bridge of his nose.

He’s wearing loose dress pants and a rolled-up white button-up, tucked into his belt. A thin patterned tie lays flat down his chest.

You shrug on your suit jacket and give him a small smile back. “Uh, lunch just started so I haven’t really got one yet.” you answer honestly with a small chuckle.

“Come with me?” he suggests, “I’ll pay.”

You shrug and nod, why not? You could definitely save a few dollars.

A few minutes later, you’re meeting John down at the lobby, chatting casually with him about business affairs as you stroll out of the building.

The two of you walk around the bustling mid-day New York streets before landing on a burger spot.

It's small but charming. Smells of fry grease and bread. You and John slip into a booth and you pick up a menu, scanning your options.

“Do you like Paul?” John asks abruptly, looking down at the menu as well.

The question catches you off guard. “Sorry?” you say and raise an eyebrow. Your attention on him now rather than the menu.

“Do you like Paul.” he repeats, tone unchanging.

You huff out a chuckle and look back down at the menu. “Of course I do.” you say simply, clearing your throat. “He’s my boss.”

“Hm.” John says, a sly smile creeping at the corners of his mouth again.

You place the menu down and lean on the table. “Why?” you inquire.

“Nothing nothing—“ he says quickly, pushing his glasses up with a finger. He glances up at you then back down at the menu.

“Just find it strange he called you the other night.”

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms, leaning into the back of the booth chair with a huff.

“Is the whole reason why you brought me here was to interrogate me about Paul’s poor decision making?” you raise an eyebrow at him.

John opens his mouth to defend himself but you cut him off.

“Oh give me a break. I’ve been here hardly a month and you people think I’ve already tried to get into my boss’s pants?” You throw your hands up, feeling yourself boil over.

“Can’t a woman just do her job? Can’t a woman just be polite without you men thinking I'm trying to seduce him?”

John clears his throat, a little panicked now as your tone begins to get louder. He glances around at the other patrons in the restaurant.

“Fuckin’ hell! Shh! I’m sorry!” John says anxiously with a small laugh. “I put that rather bluntly – I apologize!”

He puts a hand up in surrender and straightens his tie. “Look. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t…” he paused to find the words. “…overstepping… between you and Paul.”

John cleared his throat, “You know how Paul gets.”

You narrow your eyes at John. No, you don’t know how ‘Paul gets’.

You lean your head into your hand and continue to read the menu.

You haven’t really considered Mr. McCartney in that light before. You figured he was a grumpy drunkard and that’s why he had rang you, nothing more.

Lunch comes to a close (without any more talk of Paul, thank God) and as does the work day.

You don’t see much of Paul that day, maybe once or twice in passing. 

You recall seeing him by the water cooler in the break room, filling up a plastic cup for himself.

You found that odd. He would usually ask you to do that.  

You said hi to him and asked him how his lunch was, but he walked past you, cup in hand, as if you didn’t exist. He had completely ignored you.

You didn’t talk to him the rest of that day.

However, you couldn't help but think back to the conversation between you and John over lunch.

The brief mention of John's curiosity about you and Mr. McCartney's relationship clung to the forefront of your mind. 

The image of a relationship that you have strictly viewed as professional, begins to warp as you imagine it from an outside perspective. 

--

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @iobsessoverfictionalmen, @illiana-mystery, @lulusplaycorner, @psychokinetic-ectoplasm, @coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe

requested by @abaddon-queenof-hell

request: What if ray asks mother to come in and basically hack into pecks computer because he wants to check in to make sure phoebe and the new ghostbusters r being left alone. And reader is there when mother comes in, totally confused cuz it looks like a younger ray they’ve seen in old clips and stuff. Which leads the two men to being like yeah alright. But ends with reader suggesting a threesome because they want to know what being with a young “ray” would be like.

warnings: Swearing, mention of smut

"So did you see the latest news brief?" I asked as I stocked the shelves while Ray did inventory.

"Which one?" He asked, marking something down before looking up at me. "The one about the rats or the one about pollution? Because I really don't see why you're asking me about either of those." I shook my head.

"The one about the Ghostbusters." I said. Ray's face fell. "Peck's office ran a report on them. I didn't catch the full thing but it looked like he was trying to drag the name again."

"After everything..." Ray sighed. "I'll look and see what it was. It could have been nothing." I nodded as Ray started typing on the laptop under the counter. "Fucking pay walls." He muttered. I giggled as I put the last book on the shelf.

"Read too many articles this week old man?" I asked as I walked behind the counter. Ray rolled his eyes at me as he cleared the browser history. "At least you remember how to do that."

"We don't talk about what we found after Peter borrowed it remember." Ray teased me as I wrapped my arms around him, pressing my face against his back and humming in agreement. "Still the damn pay wall." He sighed.

"I can always ask Callie." I suggested as Ray patted my arm. "She'll know what's going on."

"I have a better idea." Ray said, turning in my arms with a slightly evil smirk. "I know a guy. He can hack into the mayor's office and never get caught."

"Sure." I said, rolling my eyes. "Everyone gets caught Raymond." He shook his head with a smile.

"Not this guy. He and his entire crew hacked into the NSA, FBI and KGB." Ray explained. "And they never got caught. In fact, they were rewarded by the CIA for cracking an espionage case." I raised my eyebrows in interest. "Believe me. This guy can get in and out of anywhere without getting caught."

"Alright." I said. "Call him." Ray smiled and broke away to grab his phone from our apartment upstairs. When he came back down, he pressed a kiss to my head and went back to inventory.

"He'll be here next week." Ray said before jerking his thumb towards the backroom. "There's two more shipments back there if you want to keep doing that." I nodded before going to grab the other two boxes. By the next week, I was back at loading up the shelves behind the counter with Ghostbusters merchandise when the bell rang over the door.

"Welcome to Ray's Occult. I'll be right with you." I said as I squatted down to put the final pieces out. "Hi..." Standing up, I started at the man who was a carbon copy of Ray when he was younger. "Can I help you?" I cleared my throat and threw on a smile.

"Yeah. I'm looking for Ray?" The man said, fidgeting and shoving his hands in his pockets. "I'm Mother. He called about..." The man seemed to pause for a second while he thought his words out. "Something with a computer..." He finished, looking around as he rocked on his heels.

"I'll just get him. He's in the back..." I trailed off as I rounded the counter. Sneaking behind the stacks of bookshelves, I stared at the man. "What the fuck?" I muttered to myself.

"Didn't anyone ever teach you it was rude to stare?" Ray asked quietly. I jumped and put my hand against my chest.

"For fuck's sake Ray." I muttered as I turned towards him. "You scared me."

"I wouldn't have scared you if you had been paying attention to something other than..." Ray looked up and broke into a bright smile. "Mother!" He said as he stepped out from behind the shelf. "It is good to see you." The other man smiled at Ray and they hugged.

"You too man." Mother said as he pulled back. "Who you got working with you now?" Ray blushed slightly as Mother gave him a knowing look.

"That's (Y/N). My partner." Ray muttered. Mother patted him on the back as I emerged from behind the stack.

"Didn't know you had it in you." Mother teased. Ray swatted his arm before turning to me.

"(Y/N), this is Darren Roskow. The hacker I was telling you about." I waved as Mother nodded.

"Mother is my screen name. Most people call me that instead of my name. Helps hide from the government." Mother explained. I nodded. Ray smiled at me before ushering me towards the counter. "You got a laptop for me to work with?"

"Ray keeps getting pissed about pay walls." I joked as I handed the laptop over. Mother snickered and shot Ray a look.

"I can't believe you forgot the trick I taught you." He shook his head as he started typing.

"Yeah well I'm old." Ray shrugged. "Can you..." Mother shook his head.

"Nope. Taught you once. Its on you if you can't remember it." He teased. Mother winked at me as I snickered behind Ray. "Besides, they closed that backdoor so it won't do you any good anyway." Ray groaned as he moved to watch Mother work.

"And there's no new way?" He asked. Mother shot him a look.

"Of course there is. But with your memory old man I don't want to take any chances." Ray rolled his eyes as Mother got into the mayor's office. "So it looks like Peck has sent a notice to the new team." Ray leaned closer as I rounded the counter on Mother's other side. "Looks like he wants to inspect the containment unit..." I shared a look with Ray.

"What could he possibly want to look at that again for?" I asked. Ray shrugged.

"Since Garraka was trapped everything's been fine." He said. Mother shook his head.

"Yeah. Heard about that. Ice age in New York was the headline I think." He muttered. I nodded. "Better than the one about the marshmallow man isn't it Ray?" Mother sent a teasing look Ray's way. I laughed as I watched the two men.

"You know you look like him. From the old newspaper articles." I said. Mother looked over at me. "The interviews. Its all online."

"They spend hours looking at old Ghostbusters shit." Ray shrugged. Mother chuckled.

"We get that a lot. Especially if we're out grabbing coffee or something." Mother said. I looked between the two. Ray narrowed his eyes at me.

"Whatever you're thinking, don't." He warned. I held my hands up and shrugged.

"I wasn't thinking anything." I said. Mother looked between the two of us. Ray raised an eyebrow at me and I shrugged. "I'm not."

"Ok..." Mother said as he started deleting all the memos that had not yet been sent to other agencies. "Just gonna get rid of these fuckers...Make sure they don't bother those kids again..."

"(Y/N)..." Ray sighed. I stared at him.

"What?" I asked. "What do you think I'm thinking?" I crossed my arms over my chest. We stared at each other as Mother tried to shrink towards the laptop.

"What it would be like to sleep with him." Ray finally blurted out. My cheeks heated up and I shook my head.

"Not really." I said. Ray's face started to relax. "Well maybe kind of." I shrugged. His eyes narrowed at me again as Mother's cheeks turned pink. "I'm thinking about what it would be like to sleep with both of you. Ray and what would honestly kinda maybe be like a young Ray..." I trailed off as Mother turned to look at me. Both men had started to turn red, watching me carefully.

[inkedberries]

Hey! Prefacing this by saying that this isn't meant to be an attack (which generally isn't a great way to start a message but I'd rather be clear about intentions) and more so genuine curiosity. Apologizing in advance for this being long; I have a tendency to overthink and overexplain.

I don't typically interact with fandom outside of like... carefully curated little microbiomes. As such I haven't really encountered the whole proship/anti shit with any amount of seriousness since probably around 2018. I personally don't put much stock into either of the terms because there's far too much grey area and for the fact that (as per my understanding) exist as ethical frameworks, and I don't care much for subscribing purely to a single framework to the exclusion of anything else in terms of personal ethics and morality. At most with friends we tend to colloquially refer to incest + pedophile ships as proships, because that's just sort-of what the term has evolved to mean most strongly (again, at least in the circles I run in). I don't consider myself anti or proship or whatever the fuck else, because I generally don't care to involve myself with that kind of fandom drama. I'll involve myself over like, matters of being anti-bigotry but the rest is just something I haven't wanted to deal with for 5-6 years. Tagging + filtering + block functions exist for a reason, and I don't need to do anything more than prevent my feed from showing me those things. I generally just hit block and move on with that kind of stuff, especially because I'm anti-censorship for a variety of reasons.

Tl;dr on that: proship/anti aren't terms I really use or subscribe to, because I feel like they oversimplify everything and conflate "drama". From my understanding, I agree with proship ideology (????) in the sense that I believe censorship only fucks over everyone, and that you can just block + filter and move on. But at the same time I see this overall conception that 'proship' means you support/condone/etc incest and pedophilia and so on, which I really truly don't. But there is this really heavy perception that proship = this person ships (usually) pedophilic or incestuous relationships. A bit reinforced for me typically because when something like that comes across my feed and I go to block the person, they generally have 'proship' in their bio. That to acknowledge that I do have some bias in that, even if I know it's a correlation/not cause thing. That all being (over)said (and I'm SO sorry again about how fucking long this is, my twitter TL is having a meltdown and I've avoided all this stuff for so long I don't know if I'm missing something? Because ethically on my end there's no reason for me to block or whatever outside of just the word proship...? Two minutes for a quick search as as far as I can tell you don't participate in anything against my own comfort/moral beliefs. so) I guess I'm asking what your definition of proship is for yourself and why people are jumping to this conclusion of dislike so instantaneously? Obviously you're under no obligation to educate me on what I presume is fucking YEARS of fandom history, nor respond publicly or even at all. I'm only asking you specifically because this is the first time I've encountered 'being proship' ≠ shipping pedophilia etc etc. I think maybe I came across it way back when as a middle schooler, but I'm not about to trust any of my opinions/recollections from when I was that age lmao. But anyways. Just genuinely curious and wanting to understand because I'm wary of reacting too-quickly just because other people are, and especially so if it's actually a total non-issue for me. Sorry again for the insane rambling in this lol

hello!! i hope you don't mind me prefacing this response too by saying to please read this out fully, if you don't agree with the starting points i've provided, i hope you still continue on reading until the end💙 i think @/frownyalfred best words the defense i would most likely stumble on if i give it a go at answering your question with my own words

and this was a post made in 2016 (where a lot of ppl say is the year anti-shippers started sprouting up) and this is honestly what i mean when i say i hate antis

if anything, antis just started the propaganda that all proshippers are incest lovers and pedophiles and people ate it up like cats who haven't had wet food in three weeks. as proven by your friend group using the term as such? that's wild to me that ppl use the term proship like that, i hope the case i'm making will change that for you and your friend group.

no, proship literally is anti-censorship. ship and let ship. antis gatekeep, police shippers and harass anyone who doesn't ship their ship the RIGHT way. and it's not just the ships you say are 'harmful' or 'immoral'. i've shipped a rarepair before and the fandom at large did not like me shipping a rarepair so they started calling me a pedophile bc i aged up said characters???????? they'll find anything and i mean ANYTHING to twist everything i say and do to make it seem like it's "okay" for me to be harassed and bullied. "oh it's okay that i'm telling this person to die because they're gross," yeah no that behavior is So Much More Normal than a person shipping two fictional characters the "wrong" way. AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUCKED UP? ppl BELIEVED THEM LMAOOOO

and hey no sweat, i was like you once. i didn't define myself as proship or anti bc the real world exists but then in the one space i thought i'd be free from real life speculation and surveillance i get these anti policing assholes so yeah im a proshipper now lol just to get away from that bs. i honestly just want to have fun on here without judgement but i can't even have that lol that's why im all about blocking/muting.

you say your tl is having a meltdown? well shit, they're probably calling me names on there too. probably throwing out baseless accusations without fact checking bc i'm lowlife enough not be respected or given the decency of a fact check? or saying my art wasn't good anyway? bc gatekeeping their precious kudoichi is so much more righteous, top priority that they start slandering a real life person, right? no no no one disgusting should be touching or shipping our precious kudoichi lmao i hope you see how Not Right this is. kinda makes me feel sick for real lol

and i hope you understand how harmful this is not just to my mental state but my livelihood as an artist as these people would just start policing their fellow fans and just tell them not to support or view my art because im a 'proshipper' not even that, they'd probably just straight up say i support incest and pedophilia which are?????? such STRONG accusations to make????????? now they're just buzzwords. BUZZWORDS for antis to use to defame and cancel an artist! a real life person. over their precious fictional characters. over their precious kudoichi. oh man it makes it so much more stupid if i specify the ship, what is wrong with people sometimes😭

but hey im all about blocking and muting and unfollowing if you don't like my stuff i'm 100% for that but i hope they do it on their own terms. their own thinking. not because someone told them to.

and i dunno man that behavior of not even letting their 'friends' think for themselves, that they'd bash them too if they support me, my art, kinda seems like grooming don't it? or nah no im just looking into it. it might not be that deep. but i really yeah that's why i hate antis and why im more proship.

but hey i appreciate you even taking the time to come to me in the first place and uhhh idk i hope you found what you were looking for and that i answered your bit of curiousity there!

[babygirlkaeya]

To put it in terms that purist ragbros enjoyers will understand:

If you hate on kaeluc shippers who ship them through the chinese context of sworn brothers, you're racist.

Like, sorry that you just can't grasp the fact that a ship that exists through the context of clear and cut cultural history because you can't pull off the westernized lens that it's been filtered through for your understanding, but to claim that an entire group in a fandom that is separated by race, region, and language must be wrong about the game that is from their country and natively in their language is racist.

ragbros enjoyers who dgaf are real ones. People who are uncomfortable kaeluc because it's not their preference are valid, but we really gotta stop with the whole kaeluc dni when it's really just a thinly veiled movement to ostracize people based on a long passed misunderstanding. If you don't like the ship, just ignore it and move on. People will spin romantic context out of any non-romantic pairing, but for some reason people find the most issue with it for kaeluc and find the need to blast 'kaeluc dni' everywhere instead of curating their own space correctly???

What are you classifying as an interaction; do people think kaeluc shippers are inherently evil and liking your posts is a terrible thing to do?? Sure, people coming into your space and spinning romantic context on something you didn't Intend to be romantic sucks, but trust me, those people are not checking your bio to see if you asked for them to dni with you; use the damn mute feature/block button if they make you uncomfortable.

And kaeluc shippers who Do ship them incestuously are in the same boat with sworn brothers shippers either way, outsiders view you all the same.

Fandom people have got to learn how to come to terms with people disagreeing with their views without being assholes about it, and doing some proper fucking research if they want to make a point.

"But I'm Chinese/my Chinese friend/significant other/family said--" Being a certain race doesn't make you an expert on its culture, especially considering the nuance of pre-existing prejudices (and let's not get into ABCs with their flawed judgements right now), but there are stories dating hundreds of years past the existence of the United States on what the sworn brothers trope is, what characters are used for it, what it means, and there's plenty of information out there to explain it.

It is unmistakable what their relationship is currently, based on existing canon content in Chinese. English mis-translation is a bane upon us all.

实在受不了这个情况。

YESSS YESS EXACTLY

and to add on; i think the only reason hoyo hasnt "fixed" the mistranslation yet is because, within the sworn brothers trope, it was used for censorship, it was used to Censor Gay Relationships, so i think the "oh its just adopted haha!" bit on hoyo's part is continuing to just censor it further so they don't get in trouble

^and thats really all the discourse boils down to.

[salty-croissants]

Crossing blades ( Bullfrog x g/n reader )

Big thanks to @angrylez for this other very cool concept ! 

I ended up making a whole story out of it since I liked the idea a lot :D

By the way , just wanted to mention that Imma need to close my writing requests for a bit , at least until I get all the other ones done : you can still send anything unrelated to requests in my asks , I’ll put a little something in my bio to let you know when I’m open to do more headcanons and stories for the boys again 👍

Anyway , hope this turned out okay !  Sorry if it’s a bit out of character ;I

Details : use of g/n reader ;

reader is very skilled with knives ;  

enemies to lovers ( kinda ) ; 

presence of slightly suggestive themes and occasional swearing

“Now , listen carefully because I won’t repeat myself : 

this is y/n , your target . 

They have been working as an elite assassin for Eden for a very , very long time , which would make them a very useful source of information for us .

Your task tonight ? Capture them and bring them back here … 

Alive . 

You can deal with their eventual security as you see fit .

Now go .” 

The Warden’s words resonated in Bullfrog’s mind as he ran through the tall corridors of your underground cove … 

Dolph and his teammates were currently busy taking care of the rest of the guards outside , which meant he was going to have to face you on his own . 

He could tell that it wouldn’t be an easy task , judging by your flawless record of murders over the years , so he was going to be as careful as possible handling this situation - 

“Quoi … ?”

He suddenly turned around , barely able to see a silhouette quickly passing by him to then suddenly disappear like it had never been there …

It seemed like he already found them .

Bullfrog took a deep breath , looking around him and readying himself for any surprises from Eden’s elite assassin .

< Bonne soirée , y/n . 

I am very sorry for the intrusion , but if you just allow me to expla - > 

He was barely fast enough to avoid the knife you threw in his direction , leaving a cut on his cheek : it looked like it wasn’t going to be that easy to convince you to follow him back to the Warden’s headquarters …

< Your intentions already seem pretty clear to me … sir . > 

Bullfrog sensed a movement behind him , and saw you appear from the shadows , calmly walking towards him .

He could see it in your eyes … you weren’t someone to underestimate . 

< I’ve heard your friends up there … want my advice ? You should all be more careful not to make this much noise when sneaking up on someone to kill them . >

Bullfrog let out a little chuckle in response , his eyes never leaving yours as he took a step forward . 

 < I assure you , we are not here to cause you any harm . > 

< Really ? That becomes pretty hard to believe when a bunch of armed strangers appear at your place out of nowhere . > 

< Well … c'est vrai , but if you just come with us it will be way easier . > 

His expression changed … he stared at you earnestly , carefully taking another step in your direction . 

< Eden is not what you think it is y/n … they have been using you and your abilities all while taking countless innocent lives .

If you were to become a liability , they would not hesitate to get rid of you . > 

You remained silent for a moment , barely even listening to the noises of the furious battle still continuing downstairs before shaking your hand , grabbing more of your knives …

< I … literally got no reason to trust you . 

I don’t know who you are or what your deal is , but I can tell you that I have a job to do , a job that Eden gave me when I had nothing left , a job that gives me purpose and a reason to live …

That’s what’s real to me . 

I can’t throw all of this away … I’ve worked too hard to get here . > 

Bullfrog sighed , readying his blades for the approaching fight … 

< Then … je suis désolé pour ça , y/n . > 

*hours of fighting later …*

< Sheesh - these guys were tough ! > 

< I swear , if another one of these fuckers shows up out of nowhere I’ll - > 

< Let’s just get this over with . >

< Yeah , hopefully Bullfrog managed to deal with that y/n … things have been really quiet down there . Maybe he needs help ? > 

< Only one way to find out . > 

Dolph lead the way , followed by Jade and Pey’j : they were all beat up and tired , but still ready to take action if it would’ve proved necessary . 

… but when they eventually found their teammate , it definitely seemed like his fight against you had been … 

very intense : 

Bullfrog was standing on top of you , the two of you panting , full of bruises and cuts on your clothes …

< *ahem* … are we … interrupting anything ? ~ > 

You both gasped , turning around to find the three staring at you , slowly realizing in what a compromising position you currently were in .

< This - this is NOT what it looks like !! > 

< Absolutely not !! > 

< We were just  - uh — > 

< You know , if you wanted to spend time alone with them you should’ve just said so ~ > 

Jade’s remarks only served to make the two of you even more flustered , and Bullfrog quickly stepped away from you , hiding his face in his hoodie … 

Not like you were doing much better .

< Enough . > 

Dolph walked forward , grabbing your arm and pulling you back up on your feet .

< You’ll be coming with us now .

Try anything and it won’t end well for you . > 

You sighed in response , aware that you were exhausted and also out of knives …

You were in no position to even think about trying anything .

When eventually you found yourself on the Ghosts car , traveling back to their base , you and Bullfrog would occasionally glance at each other to then immediately look away , still very flustered about what happened back in your cove …

You would’ve never said such a thing out loud , but it was very rare for someone to last long when fighting with you , so one way or another he had earned your respect .

Something even more difficult to admit was the fact that you … 

… didn’t quite find it entirely unpleasant when Bullfrog fell on top of you during your confrontation .

That was crazy , considering the fact that he was an enemy with intentions that you didn’t even fully figure out just yet , but you just couldn’t lie to yourself convincingly enough to cover up those … odd feelings . 

You stared outside the window at the neon lights of the city , watching the clouds in the sky slowly getting illuminated by the approaching sunrise : 

you had been in stickier situations before , so being held captive wasn’t exactly your main concern … 

Instead you thought about the things Bullfrog told you about Eden , deep down wondering if he was really just tricking you or if maybe , just maybe … there was some truth to his words .

Well , all you could do now was wait and see . 

[pawberri]

ok, so i just saw an anti-dni post talking about how having a dni list in bio is purposeless and annoying since it is like a 'holding a sign saying "do not kick me." ' now, i find that perspective objectionable (since obtaining a block list might be what is desired anyways and not all dni reasons have to be extremely polarizing, e.g., i dont think a minors dni will suddenly make a billion minors annoyed, making them interact w/ you immediatly) and i have a slight feeling that you disagree with that point of view too because uhhhhh.

so what i wanted to know was whether you share the same reasons to oppose that perspective, and, if not, then, what are they?

I have been getting really annoyed with the backlash to dnis... I think it's goofy when some person has a dni with a million things, but it feels reactionary to me to say "it makes no sense for you to put your boundaries and expect people to follow them." There's especially this vibe with people who post more extreme content getting mad at dnis. I think that's weird. Partially, people seem to take them as like... a sign of moral superiority or hatred... rather than just a little bit of clarity on boundaries. These people talk about "curating your online space" but have to make these posts ranting about people who do it in a way they dislike. I especially think it's dumb to say, "Just block me, why do I have to not interact with you?" because... I mean, you can't block someone you don't know exists. It's meant to be a preemptive expression of boundaries, so the other party has the chance to block you and / or just not interact.

I know that, in practice, some people have really silly, long dnis that are linked on some weird carrd that takes forever to read. I don't think it's fair to strawman the concept of expressing some of your boundaries online in a digestible format as being stupid because of that, though. Especially when a lot of the people with silly dnis are teenagers just trying to figure their life out. They'll grow out of it. It's fine.

I also think it's weird and victim blame-y to say people will naturally be harassed if they give any kind of indication of their boundaries. I sometimes get mean anons, but for the most part, my experience online is way better because I am upfront about things. I don't get too personal or say things I'm uncomfortable sharing, but I make my boundaries clear. Even when I was a teenager and getting harassed by redditors, I never had stuff I asked to be trigger tagged used against me like people fearmonger about. (I'm sure it can happen, but I think that for most people, it just results in their social circle tagging stuff for them.) Even if that did happen, I think it would cruel to say that it was my fault for daring to express a boundary. If you kick the guy who says "do not kick me", you're still being bully and a contrarian asshole. Even if I didn't express a boundary, people like that would likely harass me. If I don't express a boundary for the sake of avoiding harassment, I get in exchange an audience that will constantly be shocked and fight with me about my beliefs when they show. Then, that creates either an unpredictable level of harassment or the feeling of being harassed because I'm constantly in discourse with my followers. At best I feel miserable and hate interacting with my followers.

I think this partially comes from people who are afraid to express their boundaries for fear of backlash (ie they want to make extreme content but fear saying so will make their followers mad), but honestly I think being straight forward makes your audience more curated. The people I see who post extreme content and are clear about it seem to have an easier time than people who build an audience of a bunch of unsuspecting people and then slowly introduce untagged incest kink or something. Not saying it's a guaranteed anti-harassment tool, but I don't understand the impulse to warn for nothing and have no clear boundaries with your audience, then get mad you curated the audience you curated. I hope it doesn't come across as me victim-blaming in the opposite direction, I don't think anyone deserves harassment regardless of if I disagree with what they post online. I kind of just mean to illustrate a counter example to the idea of the dni-haver making themself a target or inherently Being A Harasser.

[rustingcat]

Vigilante

Kara was late.

She hated being late, but the amount of paperwork she had to sign was much larger than she anticipated, and the lack of signal in the classified room in the DEO meant that she couldn't alert Lena on time.

Kara made it to the lab an hour later, more exhausted than she realised.

"Kara! Is everything okay?" Lena asked the moment Kara put her bag down.

"Yes, I'm so sorry for the delay. I had to sign a LOT of papers for the DEO." Lena seemed so engulfed in the work, their work. The last thing she wanted was for Lena to feel like she's forced to take on the load.

"The DEO? Did something happen?" The worry in her voice was clear. Kara put a reassuring smile on her face to take some of it away.

"Yes, yes. I just signed an employment contract, I'm officially no longer a vigilante!" Kara said with a small chuckle.

"Oh, why the change? I remember you weren't a fan of working for the government before, especially with everything that went down with Colonel Hailey." Lena walked closer to her, a concern not completely gone.

"Well, now that my identity is public knowledge, Alex was very adamant in reminding me how open I am for lawsuits. Both private ones and from the government, like they could potentially sue me for stuff they ask me to do! How crazy is that?"

"Did you sign it already? I could go over it to make sure they don't put any peculiar articles or subsections."

"It's ok, Alex is still in touch with Lucy Lane. They went over the contract together several times before presenting it to me. Lucy is really good with this stuff." She reassured her.

"So you're a government official?"

"Yeah, free from any Supergirl related lawsuits, and with some pretty sweet tax benefits. Plus all of the salary they wanted to give me is going to go to different kinds of selected charities of my choosing, so that's awesome."

"I'm glad it all worked out."

"Me too." Kara breathed in relief.

"I have some news, too." Lena said as an excited smile spread on her face.

"Do tell," Kara said, biting her lip as a smile matching Lena started spreading.

"Okay, while you were off signing what was no doubt a mountain of paperwork," Kara nodded, "I found and fixed the problem with the distributor." Lena proclaimed proudly.

"What was the problem?" Kara asked, matching her excitement.

"We switched the materials connecting it to the compressor, but not the ones connected to the bio-terminal!" She explained quickly, her hands moving around in excited blur to match.

"Oh Rao! So it means–"

"We can start testing!"

"Ahh- Lena that's amazing!" Kara crushed into her best friend, giving her the big tight hug she deserves. She absolutely loved hugging Lena, really she took any opportunity she got. Feeling her warp around her tightly as if not wanting to let go, her smell that somehow always smelled amazing and feeling her heartbeat so close to hers. Hugging Lena was amazing, and she really deserved the most amazing hug after that discovery.

"Wait, we don't have their DNA to test it with." Kara noted once they pulled away.

"It's just a test to see if it can even process something like that, It doesn't have to be theirs. We already have exactly what we need." Lena explained.

"What do you mean?" Kara was confused, they didn't collect any DNA ahead of time.

"Samples of two specimens of the same biological sex, not to mention a combination of human and non-human DNA." Lena smiled at her.

"Oh." The room suddenly felt hotter. "Yeah, no… yes I see. Yeah that- that would definitely work." They would be combining their DNA. She and Lena. Their biological data would be combined. Kara felt very normal about this.

"Will you be able to extract some of your blood? If not, we can try saliva." Lena asked and she started to look around for the tubes.

"I think I can," Kara answered, looking at her fingers in an attempt to decide which one would be easier to cut. It's not like she would have to worry about the long term effect of the wound as it would heal once she stepped out into the sun.

Lena was already grabbing a syringe by the time Kara decided to go with her thumb, hoping to make the surface of the wound big enough to extract more blood.

She checked with her tongue to see which of her teeth is the sharpest –her upper left fang, and attempted her first try. It was painful, yet unsuccessful. She braced herself for the unavailable pain and tried again. The metallic taste in her mouth paired with the pounding pain in her finger told her she was successful. She took out her thumb and tried to lift it in a way that no blood would spill out. She held it above the tube Lena handed to her, letting the small drops fill it as much as she could, squeezing a bit despite the pain, until she was satisfied with the amount.

A quick walk to the window, letting the reflected rays of the sunshine upon her finger, fixed the little cut she created. She only wished Lena had similar powers. The syringe made her cut relatively small, but a cut was still a cut in Kara’s book. Lena was pressing a small piece of cotton to her arm, holding it tightly as she worked.

Kara walked closer to her. She was healed at this point and just as familiar with the machine as Lena, it was her turn to put on some work. She took Lenas wounded arm and gave it a small kiss to make it better. Lena's cheeks were immediately coloured with a light share of pink.

"All better now." Kara smiled at her. "Do you mind if I take it from here? You can keep pressing on the arm."

Lena simply nodded.

Inserting their blood samples carefully, Kara directed the machine to start the process. It was odd, she thought to herself, seeing all of the biological specification options for the combined data of her and Lena's DNA. Afraid to make a mistake, she slowly pressed on each button, choosing to unspecify everything before starting the process.

Kara looked at Lena with an exciting smile, biting down both her upper and bottom lips in the anticipation.

"And now we wait." Lena smiled back.

They watched in silence as the machine processed their data, searching for any errors or possible problems. They went through the math and the coding multiple times, they were at the very least confident in their work. The test was not to see a baby going through a full term, that process would take a few months even in their very advanced machine. Not to mention that due to the possibility of success, they knew that their first test subject should be for people who would be willing parents. So the test itself was only to see if the machine can prepare their given data to what could later become an embryo and then a healthy fetus should they choose to continue.

The process bar got closer to the end. No errors yet.

Lena was still pressing on her wound as she followed the process bar closely with her eyes. Kara wasn't sure if it was worry, tension or excitement on her face. Probably a combination of the three. She couldn't say she was faring any better, chewing in her bottom lip with similar emotions.

The bar got closer to the end. 97%, 98%, 99%, 100%.

Kara instinctively inhaled quickly. Holding her breath until the bar disappeared completely, replaced by a 'process complete' message on the screen.

"Oh my god!" She heard Lena exhale in relief.

"It worked!" Kara turned to face her, mouth wide open in shock and excitement.

"It did!" Lena confirmed in amazement.

They were hugging again before Kara fully realised she was doing it. Jumping in excitement in Lena’s arms as the latter laughed in response. When she settled down she noticed how close their faces were to each other, she could feel the heat radiating off of Lena's face warm her own. Suddenly their excited hearts became louder to her ears as she watched Lena wet her own lips. Kara instinctively mimicked the movement. They stayed like that for a moment, before Lena suddenly pulled away. Kara felt a pang of disappointment she could not name.

"I should check on this one project before I leave for today. Could you finish everything here?" Lena hurried to find her back, refusing to meet Kara's eyes.

"Sure," she had no problem wrapping everything herself. "What do you want to do with the PF?" It was the name they decided on for a successful processed DNA combination, a shorthand for Potential Fetus.

"It's not important, you can dispose of it." Lena finished collecting her stuff and exited before Kara could respond.

"Right." She muttered to the empty room. The project she went to check on must've been important.

Kara turned her attention back to the machine. She was familiar with the options, she designed the UI herself after all, yet they gave her pause. The button to proceed to the next stage had somehow become the most fascinating thing in the world. Flash images of small hands, a wild patch of dark hair and big striking green eyes passed through her mind in quick succession. She only noticed she clicked the button once a warning message asking her if she was sure she'd like to proceed popped up on the screen. Small panic went through her body as she realised what she almost did, Rao she almost greenlighted the creation of a baby for her and Lena.

She quickly pressed no, and moved on to check the other options. She had no need to restart the process to respect the bio-data for the PF, nor make changes to the DNA. She stared at the button to terminate the PF and all data related to it, but couldn't bring herself to do it. The images flashed her mind again. She wasn't sure what it was but she couldn't bring herself to do it, she couldn't press the button.

A message from Lena asking if she wanted a ride home made her notice the time. She sent her a quick message saying she would be right there, and turned back to the machine. Kara made a quick decision to store the data for later use, just in case they wanted to reexamine it, of course. Plus it was their first success, it could also be a reminder of their progress.

Kara finished turning off whatever unnecessary parts to keep the power consumption at a minimum, went over everything twice and spared a moment to stare at the container, before she left.

The images followed her to her dream that night, along with a familiar dimpled smile by her side.

Read in order in AO3

[eredhes]

Hey!

I majored in anth at a p awesome school for it (had a so fun class where we hands on used paleo to neo lithic techniques- from making stone tools to processing hides) but there wasn't much available for prehistoric art (+ I was a major switch from microbiology so bio anth, epidemiology and forensics stuff, made more sense with my course history). Been out of school for almost 10 years now and unfortunately doing nothing even remotely related, but I'm wanting to learn more about prehistoric art of all sorts. With search engines being overrun with AI misinfo I'm not really sure where to start other than Wikipedia. Do you have any favorite resources you'd be up for recommending?

Thanks a ton! Happy holidays, and may the new year be kind.

Hello! I should preface this with saying I am just someone with a general interest and not remotely an expert haha! Getting to do hands on stuff sounds really fun!

A lot of my reading has been restricted to Upper Palaeolithic Europe, and cave art at that, so I can't really recommend anything outside of that.

I've been concerned also with avoiding misinformation - there was a painting I saw a while ago where it was obvious the level of research involved was typing "Lascaux" into pinterest and just using whatever results came up (the art used was from Cueva de los Caballos and Mesolithic) and it's been driving me nuts. I've been sticking to books for information, almost everything I've read has been through Internet Archive, and majority are over 30 years old so could be outdated, can contradict each other, and should be noted are can be very racist.

Putting the list of everything under a read more as it's quite long, I hope there's something useful in amongst all of this! Happy holidays, I hope you have a good new year!

Books and other resources I've found useful in no particular order:

The Cave of Lascaux: The Final Photographs by Mario Ruspoli (1987) [Is on Internet Archive but currently unavailable, the German version is still up.] When Lascaux was closed to the public Mario Ruspoli was hired by the French govenment to document the entire cave on film and wrote this book afterwards. Even though it's focus is Lascaux I found it a good introduction to the topic of cave art. I have tried to find the footage online with little success so if anyone knows... do tell. This book brings you through the cave and gives a good idea of the layout and where paintings/engravings are in relation to each other. I would love if there was something like this for other caves but I'm not aware of anything 🤔

Lascaux Virtual Tour [Link here] The video isn't toally clear but it gives a good sense of the layout, and you can click the little 'i' icon to see clearer photos and get more details.

Images of the Ice Age by Paul Bahn and Jean Vertut (1988) [Internet Archive Link] This book is also a good starting point! There's also Journey Through the Ice Age which is the same book.

Cambridge Illustrated History of Cave Art by Paul Bahn (1998) [Internet Archive Link] I haven't gotten around to reading this yet but it appears to be a broader scope and not restricted to Europe.

Palaeolithic Cave Art by Peter J. Ucko and Andrée Rosenfeld (1967) The main appeal of this bok is that it goes through the different possible reasons for cave art. I had to buy a physical copy as I couldn't find it online.

Kindred: Neanderthal Life, Love, Death and Art by Rebecca Wragg Sykes (2020) [Aeon article link "Sheanderthal: Not all Neanderthals were ‘cavemen’: half were women. What can archaeologists tell us about how they lived?] Not solely focused on art but she does talk about what the neanderthals made including a large circular structure in Bruniquel Cave - there is footage of the cave in the recent netflix documentary Secrets of the Neanderthals (not great, at one point the narrator says neanderthals lived in the neolithic lmfao but the interviews with experts are interesting).

Don's Maps [Link here] Really great website. Some books will mention a painting/engraving/sculpture but no image, so my first place to check is Don's Maps as everything he includes is either from a book which will be referenced or from his own visits to caves.

The Neanderthal Museum Digital Archive [Link here] Despite the name is not exclusively Neanderthal, lots of photos of cave art in the Wendel Collection (including a photo of the one known instance of a saiga antelope in cave art that I hadn't been able to find a photo of before!).

There's also the Archaeology Podcast Network and sites like Academia.edu but I don't have any specific recommendations at present.