#do i make sense hHhah

[nerves-nebula]

one thing i find mildly embarrassing (not in the normal sense of the word but w/e) is my complete disconnect from basically any history or culture or ancestry i could've had? this comes up sometimes when i write characters, like for example, i'm still developing the Hanheppi religion and one thing ive been thinking about is how important ancestry is in some religions.

I had a religious architecture class a while back and we watched some videos of these indigenous Australian people doing some collaborative art and the mother was talking to the kid, explaining every step of the lineage on the art piece they were working on and it was really wonderful. And in a lot of my research & other stuff with religion I keep coming across this idea of ancestry and heritage and community and how important that shit can be but. basically.

it keeps reminding me that my characters, especially the hanheppi ones, should probably have some sort of connection to the past? Like, probably a pretty significant one? Hanheppi people are humans, they're supposed to be raised in a culture that values their history and lineage. its supposed to be very communal. but because I've never really experienced that I often forget to include it or mention it and its like. hhhah.

i don't? know? how to do that. I don't know what its like for your community to be an important part of your identity, i don't even know what it's like for your extended or immediate family to be an important part of your identity. my parents succeeded in making me feel completely disconnected from everything i could possibly have built community on. i'm uninterested into looking into where i came from because frankly it sounds terrible. it sounds like people who wouldn't accept me anyway, so i have no interest in that. I live in my head the way I always have. but it does leave me kind of empty. and i feel like it leaves my characters pretty empty too, especially the ones who are supposed to be very invested in their communities.

oh well :p

[koutawoo]

Woo chaaaan T-T _cognizant anon

Hi hello lady. As many times as u want? Amazing we can only take it once a year jdsjasfd. That's one of the reasons why it's such a pain. Once a year from our main hs books frOM 3 YEARS AUGH. LOLOLOL MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY 2021 TO U ACTUALLY since we don't have Christmas and use a different calendar hjkfkdsf. Also why do I keep seeing ppl saying kanji is insane exactly when I thought of giving Japanese a try sajdkadj. I'm ok. concentration on studies 0. U good? _cognizant anon (aksdnksja)

BEJESUSYSUSU i’m literally behind on everything in life rn (reqs, edits i wanted to do, watching anime and reading manga included, to keep this relevant to tumblr)

i think the quarantine fatigue has finally gotten to me and i just feel mentally drained ugh, doesn’t help that my winter break is only two weeks long, and i have to get back to online courses next week ;___;

i’m not the only one who’s suffering like this, but it’s not gonna stop me from ranting bwhahah

american ed system kinda lenient, i think. the only downside to taking the exam multiple times is that u have to pay $40-$60 (? my memory sucks but there was a registration fee as well) every time, unless u have a waiver for being in a low income household (waiver let’s u take the exam four times free of charge)

just dooooo itttt!! kanji’s a pain, but it shouldn’t get in the way of ur learning of japanese. kanji shouldn’t be an big issue unless ur trying to become a translator or want to read long japanese passages. i feel like most language learners r more focused on the speaking and understanding aspect of the langauge, rather than reading? like, yeah reading is important but in terms of priority, reading kanji, specially, is low on the list. and as a japanese language learner, it’s not like u can learn 5k+ kanji in less than five years, so don’t sweat about kanji esp since u gotta start at the basics first ;DD

NOT to say that kanji isn’t necessary or important, but just that learning kanji should come later in ur studies

[keigosbirdie]

Girl, I am LOVING your long replies abt our Hawks man. It’s so damn refreshing to have a viewpoint abt Hawks that simply isn’t fanon Playboy-suave-smooth Hawks that a lot of people make him out to be.

ahhhhh man I’m glad you think so !! Of course everyone is going to have their own interpretation of characters, and while I always try to stay as frimley close to canon as I can manage I myself am speculating with my opinions.

There’s nothing wrong with liking the playboy persona people lean on sometimes, but I shy away from it myself. Maybe before we knew more about him it would have made some sense, but now that we have so much more insight about who he is as a person, what he goes through, his internal struggle and his inept handling of actual relationships, that suave persona seems entirely fanon to me now. Which is fine btw!!! People can totally enjoy him however makes them happy! You like the idea of Hawks being more of a ladies man type of dude, you fly your playboy flag my guy! Even I lean into non canon ideas just because I enjoy them. Like bird trait hawks. He hasn’t explicitly been shown to have a “bird brain” or really any bird behavior as I portray it in my content, bit it feels like such a waste to me to have a part animal person and not explore that side hhhah BUT 

Personality wise, I fell in love with the Hawks I met in BNHA. I want him to be as canon as possible, (or at least as close to how I felt about him when I read) at least in terms of how his character is portrayed. Which is why I usually don’t consume villain/Scumbag/playboy,ect hawks content. It feels like I’m not reading about Hawks. (I’m not saying at all that my content is perfectly made by any means! Btw! Or that my interpretation is any better than anyone elses! Everyone will think and feel differently about characters based on their own preferences and experiences, even I do it!) Of course my opinions of his character may change drastically if more canon material of him goes against my current thoughts, that’s already happened several times, but thats what I love so much about him. As we learn more about him, we get these more intimate glimpses into who he is.