#do i fix it and trade in at a dealership??? don't fix it and sell to a junkyard??? mysterious third option??

[16cl]

anyone here know anything about cars.... i'm so lost........,,

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Amazon Alexa is a graduate of the Darth Vader MBA

Next Tuesday (Oct 31) at 10hPT, the Internet Archive is livestreaming my presentation on my recent book, The Internet Con.

If you own an Alexa, you might enjoy its integration with IFTTT, an easy scripting environment that lets you create your own little voice-controlled apps, like "start my Roomba" or "close the garage door." If so, tough shit, Amazon just nuked IFTTT for Alexa:

https://www.theverge.com/2023/10/25/23931463/ifttt-amazon-alexa-applets-ending-support-integration-automation

Amazon can do this because the Alexa's operating system sits behind a cryptographic lock, and any tool that bypasses that lock is a felony under Section 1201 of the DMCA, punishable by a 5-year prison sentence and a $500,000 fine. That means that it's literally a crime to provide a rival OS that lets users retain functionality that Amazon no longer supports.

This is the proverbial gun on the mantelpiece, a moral hazard and invitation to mischief that tempts Amazon executives to run a bait-and-switch con where they sell you a gadget with five features and then remotely kill-switch two of them. This is prime directive of the Darth Vader MBA: "I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further."

So many companies got their business-plan at the Darth Vader MBA. The ability to revoke features after the fact means that companies can fuck around, but never find out. Apple sold millions of tracks via iTunes with the promise of letting you stream them to any other device you owned. After a couple years of this, the company caught some heat from the record labels, so they just pushed an update that killed the feature:

https://memex.craphound.com/2004/10/30/apple-to-ipod-owners-eat-shit-and-die-updated/

That gun on the mantelpiece went off all the way back in 2004 and it turns out it was a starter-pistol. Pretty soon, everyone was getting in on the act. If you find an alert on your printer screen demanding that you install a "security update" there's a damned good chance that the "update" is designed to block you from using third-party ink cartridges in a printer that you (sorta) own:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/11/ink-stained-wretches-battle-soul-digital-freedom-taking-place-inside-your-printer

Selling your Tesla? Have fun being poor. The upgrades you spent thousands of dollars on go up in a puff of smoke the minute you trade the car into the dealer, annihilating the resale value of your car at the speed of light:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/23/how-to-fix-cars-by-breaking-felony-contempt-of-business-model/

Telsa has to detect the ownership transfer first. But once a product is sufficiently cloud-based, they can destroy your property from a distance without any warning or intervention on your part. That's what Adobe did last year, when it literally stole the colors from your Photoshop files, in history's SaaSiest heist caper:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/28/fade-to-black/#trust-the-process

And yet, when we hear about remote killswitches in the news, it's most often as part of a PR blitz for their virtues. Russia's invasion of Ukraine kicked off a new genre of these PR pieces, celebrating the fact that a John Deere dealership was able to remotely brick looted tractors that had been removed to Chechnya:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/08/about-those-kill-switched-ukrainian-tractors/

Today, Deere's PR minions are pitching search-and-replace versions of this story about Israeli tractors that Hamas is said to have looted, which were also remotely bricked.

But the main use of this remote killswitch isn't confounding war-looters: it's preventing farmers from fixing their own tractors without paying rent to John Deere. An even bigger omission from this narrative is the fact that John Deere is objectively Very Bad At Security, which means that the world's fleet of critical agricultural equipment is one breach away from being rendered permanently inert:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/23/reputation-laundry/#deere-john

There are plenty of good and honorable people working at big companies, from Adobe to Apple to Deere to Tesla to Amazon. But those people have to convince their colleagues that they should do the right thing. Those debates weigh the expected gains from scammy, immoral behavior against the expected costs.

Without DMCA 1201, Amazon would have to worry that their decision to revoke IFTTT functionality would motivate customers to seek out alternative software for their Alexas. This is a big deal: once a customer learns how to de-Amazon their Alexa, Amazon might never recapture that customer. Such a switch wouldn't have to come from a scrappy startup or a hacker's DIY solution, either. Take away DMCA 1201 and Walmart could step up, offering an alternative Alexa software stack that let you switch your purchases away from Amazon.

Money talks, bullshit walks. In any boardroom argument about whether to shift value away from customers to the company, a credible argument about how the company will suffer a net loss as a result has a better chance of prevailing than an argument that's just about the ethics of such a course of action:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/microincentives-and-enshittification/

Inevitably, these killswitches are pitched as a paternalistic tool for protecting customers. An HP rep once told me that they push deceptive security updates to brick third-party ink cartridges so that printer owners aren't tricked into printing out cherished family photos with ink that fades over time. Apple insists that its ability to push iOS updates that revoke functionality is about keeping mobile users safe – not monopolizing repair:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/22/vin-locking/#thought-differently

John Deere's killswitches protect you from looters. Adobe's killswitches let them add valuable functionality to their products. Tesla? Well, Tesla at least is refreshingly honest: "We have a killswitch because fuck you, that's why."

These excuses ring hollow because they conspicuously omit the possibility that you could have the benefits without the harms. Like, your tractor could come with a killswitch that you could bypass, meaning you could brick it at a distance, and still fix it yourself. Same with your phone. Software updates that take away functionality you want can be mitigated with the ability to roll back those updates – and by giving users the ability to apply part of a patch, but not the whole patch.

Cloud computing and software as a service are a choice. "Local first" computing is possible, and desirable:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/03/there-is-no-cloud/#only-other-peoples-computers

The cheapest rhetorical trick of the tech sector is the "indivisibility gambit" – the idea that these prix-fixe menus could never be served a la carte. Wanna talk to your friends online? Sorry there's just no way to help you do that without spying on you:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/08/divisibility/#technognosticism

One important argument over smart-speakers was poisoned by this false dichotomy: the debate about accessibility and IoT gadgets. Every IoT privacy or revocation scandal would provoke blanket statements from technically savvy people like, "No one should ever use one of these." The replies would then swiftly follow: "That's an ableist statement: I rely on my automation because I have a disability and I would otherwise be reliant on a caregiver or have to go without."

But the excluded middle here is: "No one should use one of these because they are killswitched. This is especially bad when a smart speaker is an assistive technology, because those applications are too important to leave up to the whims of giant companies that might brick them or revoke their features due to their own commercial imperatives, callousness, or financial straits."

Like the problem with the "bionic eyes" that Second Sight bricked wasn't that they helped visually impaired people see – it was that they couldn't be operated without the company's ongoing support and consent:

https://spectrum.ieee.org/bionic-eye-obsolete

It's perfectly possible to imagine a bionic eye whose software can be maintained by third parties, whose parts and schematics are widely available. The challenge of making this assistive technology fail gracefully isn't technical – it's commercial.

We're meant to believe that no bionic eye company could survive unless they devise their assistive technology such that it fails catastrophically if the business goes under. But it turns out that a bionic eye company can't survive even if they are allowed to do this.

Even if you believe Milton Friedman's Big Lie that a company is legally obligated to "maximize shareholder value," not even Friedman says that you are legally obligated to maximize companies' shareholder value. The fact that a company can make more money by defrauding you by revoking or bricking the things you buy from them doesn't oblige you to stand up for their right to do this.

Indeed, all of this conduct is arguably illegal, under Section 5 of the FTC Act, which prohibits "unfair and deceptive business practices":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/10/the-courage-to-govern/#whos-in-charge

"No one should ever use a smart speaker" lacks nuance. "Anyone who uses a smart speaker should be insulated from unilateral revocations by the manufacturer, both through legal restrictions that bind the manufacturer, and legal rights that empower others to modify our devices to help us," is a much better formulation.

It's only in the land of the Darth Vader MBA that the deal is "take it or leave it." In a good world, we should be able to take the parts that work, and throw away the parts that don't.

(Image: Stock Catalog/https://www.quotecatalog.com, Sam Howzit; CC BY 2.0; modified)

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/26/hit-with-a-brick/#graceful-failure

[dzpenumbra]

11/29/22

Big day. Seems like a lot of those lately. Got the conflict with my mom addressed again to clarify, with some time to reflect. We've been having this shit going on where the problem is referred to as "a communication problem" or "a miscommunication" and that usually is like... a wink and nod at me like I'm not communicating well. It really created a complex in me for a very long time, because... you know... I'm a writer... and an artist... and a musician... Communication is kinda my thing. So it kinda has always felt like throwing me under the bus, because every one of these problems (at least with my mom) are because she is not communicating something that's bothering her, not communicating plans, making assumptions or making decisions on my behalf without my consent or consultation. Or because she doesn't understand what I'm communicating and she doesn't ask any questions to clarify. This is a problem I've had with others as well, I think it's a pride thing? But also an anxiety thing. And... it's really hard to know that it's a mental health issue... and to still be like... firm about it? Because otherwise I just get scapegoated, and that's just... extremely unhealthy.

So I think we got some really important stuff communicated, namely "do not change plans or make decisions or commitments on my behalf without consulting with me, just call or text me first." It's really painful to be a 36 year old and have this problem, which is like... a problem that teenagers and college students have... I guess I just picked the wrong career, huh...

I got the internet set up to transfer over to my new place. I'm in talks to see if I can just sell my old car to the dealership and trade it in for a lease of the car that I'm renting. I have no idea if I should even own a car, to be frank. I kinda need one for vet appointments and visiting family, but if it weren't for that... I'd be really tempted to just get a OneWheel and just ride that fucker around anytime I want to go somewhere. And I mean that! On one of the drives today, I remembered that there was a pivotal moment in my life when I was ready to buy a motorcycle. It was going to be my thing. I had already done a big solo road trip, I always wanted either an old Army WWII era Jeep (which I could learn how to fix and maintain) or a motorcycle. Maybe even both. But my mom somehow convinced me to get a service dog and an SUV.

I loved my dog with all my heart, she changed my life forever - though I really wish I never saw her as a service dog, just a best friend, it took us way too many years to get to that healthy relationship - but I always look back and wonder how different my life would be if I just took the money I had saved up from streaming... Didn't give the money to my ex to pay off her debt... But instead spent it on a motorcycle. Or that old Jeep. How different of a person would I be? Is that even a life I still want? I think so, honestly. Some version, at least.

As far as the car goes, all of the repairs I'm trying to just flat-out sell the car because of - I've been waiting a week for them to even order parts, they can't even order parts right now! - all that damage came from neglect. It came from the car just sitting in the driveway and not being driven for months, years. I feel horrible. I wish I just had goddamn friends to do things with and none of this would have happened. And I really worry that this new car is just going to suffer the same fate. It really sucks, because it's like... you have to pay money on gas to go drive this vehicle literally anywhere just to spare yourself paying more money in repairs. What a fucking black hole of money. Ugh. But I'm literally moving my entire life by myself and trying to take care of an elderly cat with health problems, so... I wasn't really prepared to go fucking car shopping. If I was prepared, I'd probably get an electric. Assuming you can charge those at home? I don't know enough about those things. But yeah, I'm kinda just caught off-guard and reacting to put these fires out. My mom suggested doing a lease, then I can just like... renegotiate it if I need to. I guess that makes sense. That's the plan we're running up currently.

I took a run up to the apartment. It took me like 2 hours to pack the car, I packed it literally to the fucking brim, like I could barely even fit food in the car, it was almost air-tight. I got up in good time, didn't need to use GPS or anything. I got it all unloaded in less than 40 minutes. That's including getting a new litterbox set up in a closet and exploring what I'm dubbing the "art cave". Check this shit out. My new apartment is a loft, so its got a big common room, a staircase going up to the bedroom and in the wall at the top of the stairs is a hatch that goes into a big carpeted storage space. But this storage space is like... big enough to stand up in. And it has a light in it! So, my plan... back in college, I had a wall in my apartment that I covered in paper and I had it as basically a graffiti/mural wall that anyone who came over could draw on. I want to either do that with this space and turn it into an art cave, or try to soundproof it and turn it into a recording booth. Either way, I'm really excited to play around with that space.

I drove back, the drive went super quick. Got Taco Bell on the way back, super underwhelming. I was considering just doing the last bit tonight, making a grand total of about 8 hours of driving, but I decided to just do it in the morning. I figured it wouldn't really be fair to Max to spend like an hour packing and then put her in a crate, drive her 2.5 hours and then bring her into a brand new home at like... 1:30AM. That doesn't give her a lot of time to get acquainted with the space with me. Because I'm just going to give her her meds and pass out. So I decided to do it tomorrow, and then we can have the day to pack slowly and settle in to the new place together.

The only other thing that happened today was soaking a goat skull. That's a sentence you don't hear everyday... I'll keep this story brief if you haven't heard it before, but last summer a woman contacted me on a dating site. I had it listed on my profile that I was looking to get into more 3D mediums this year - wood, stone and bone. She said she lived on a farm in a rural area nearby and offered some bones, if I was interested. I was shocked that anyone even wanted to speak to me, this was literally a week after I put my dog down... so I just was glad to have the company. We FaceTimed for like 10 hours, told stories, bonded. Then she offered to bring some bones over and hang out the next day. I said sure. She showed up and pulled 2 5 gallon buckets full of goat bones in varying stages of decomposition out of her car and gave them to me. I was so overwhelmed with the social interest that I didn't even process what I was getting into. And now, almost 6 months later, I still have a box full of goat bones in my living room. They're too thin to work with, at least the stuff I know how to do. And I honestly just don't know their story, which makes me feel uncomfortable. I've handled dead animals before - I've had to dispose of rabbits that foxes have mangled, and a disembodied deer leg, and a dead red-tailed hawk that snapped its neck and died in my yard. These were all very solemn, respectful events. I knew what happened, I treated them honorably and it was done. But these, I just get a weird vibe from these. I can't put my finger on it. I feel bad, because I would really love to honor these animals, there's just a mental barrier there for some reason.

Today... I tried to push through the barrier, and somewhat succeeded. There were two skulls included in the bone pile. One was a bit rotted on the bottom, the other was cracked around the nasal cavity (those bones are always super fragile) but seemed to not be decomposed. It's pretty large. I was planning on carving either a mandala or just... sorta intuitive abstract designs into it, and either using it as an ornamental piece or, if I can figure out a good way to do it, an incense burner. But I'm still a little weirded out by it. And again, I can't really figure out why. Maybe it's just the memory associated with it? Maybe because it was like... a domesticated animal and not a wild animal? Like if this was a deer skull I don't think I would have these feelings at all. I don't know. Welp, either way, it's out soaking on the porch overnight, to clean it up and decontaminate anything that might be lingering on it. We'll see if this feeling passes and I feel okay carving it. Either way, I'm going to have to figure out how to get rid of these bones in a not sketchy and respectful way. I was thinking of contacting animal control and telling them the story, I bet they know what to do with animal bones. We'll see, I have some time to figure that out.

Right now, it's late so I need to go get my kitty her meds and get ready for bed. Next journal entry will be from my new place. Assuming the internet works... Fingers crossed!