#do I even relate to my main faves and no not really at all

[sebastianshaw]

Tbqh I don’t think I relate to the characters that I like

[gxldencity]

replaying da:o for the first time in nearly 10 years has been a blessing (a reminder of why I got into the series in the first place) and a curse (a reminder why this is my beloathed series and i say that with as much affection lmao)

[buttercupshands]

I feel like crk finally became a true teapot (ref to genshin bc I love that place so much) experience

a rample post ahead I cut it bc it's long as hell (tags are their own story LONG AS HELL too!)

Like literally falling asleep while watching how those little ones interact

if I ever make a tier list or something of gacha games that I've played longer than a year AND enjoyed for at least a month it'll be interesting to see the difference

like I love teapot-like mechanics EXPECIALLY if characters in there have a special way of interacting on their own - see hi3 Dorms system

and crk made it its core mechanic to which EVERYTHING loops back to, not arena, events or even the story

genshin has a way to make your teapot as pretty as you want and clipping through objects create fantastic sets (many creator have made at least something fantastic there, and people who don't care - don't care) but character interactions are limited to 2 max and 3 dialogues from lvl of friendship which is... fine but they just stand there while you can look at your pretty decor for years for no reason

I love the process but the end result is like "yeah this is pretty" and leave after 5-10 mins bc I'm bored of it

hsr has some interesting decor interactions in the event for our room that we got a year into the game, which is fine, characters don't visit our room but they're randomly placed so it's a mystery who'll talk tp you now, not to mention some characters leaving due to story reasons, interesting! interactible! but decor doesn't change after we finish the event aside from little things - a bit.. boring but that suits MC! still.

hi3 has Dorms which have chibi versions of character of your choice to put there, it's less like genshin and hsr and closer to crk actually, with chibi characters having a way to interact on their own and you getting at ability to play as them too, pretty fun, but there's like 3 rooms there and only 5 characters per room so it's REALLY not much, when there's so much cool stuff, which is also expensive if you don't play like 24/7 for like 6 years, which is my situation

the interesting thing there is that all characters in the room go to bed when it's bedtime according to your time which is neat and actually super cool

tears of themis system might be my least favorite as it's fully connected to p2w and gathering items for years to fully decorate everything which is... kind of extremely boring when the end result is closer to genshin teapot mixed with hsr placement only on one specific location so it's like a cute miniature that offers you like 3-5 options you can slowly get and like 10+ p2w ones

crk on the other hand has the balanced version of all of it (and of stuff from their other games improved too!) with 100 cookies on the screen ALL doing their own thing at all times including helping with production of stuff important for them to grow so it's like a collaborative effort of growing rather than you just doing tasks over and over by yourself via simply adding characters with animations there so you actually see them working AND their work animations are unique (with weak cookies struggling with hard work and tree-related ones looking uncomfortable in the wood cutting related tasks while some will actually look excited to work on something like that) and show their personality that you've already seen or read about, so it makes sense for the player to see that

while there are games that work similarly aka farm ones this is a gacha farm-like game, like I remember the mlp game that worked similarly, but it didn't have as many tiny details to look at also getting characters was strictly tied to your finances and p2w in some cases which made the game a bit empty when you can't exactly pay to get every character at that moment

gacha aspect of getting the characters combined with the way crk works with soulstones lets you focus on just growing to manage tasks you'd like more - like getting strong to get this or that in the story, or even jsut simply going through the story, which requieres a lot of resources

all of the games I mentioned require you to waste time in them, get characters either through gacha OR paying a lot of money (mlp, but ALSO any gacha when you gon't have enough resourses which requires that you play thing game EVERY DAY) and it's simply up to the player to decide what do they like more at any given time

I personally liked having tiny figures with some cool place to play with (and a dream that never came true to have a doll house for those little ones) as a kid and even looking at the videos of that I never had dolls participate, they're dolls, you just make them pretty and... that's it.

at least kid me never did any cool story stuff with actuall full on dolls, bc mini figures allow your imagination to run wild much like when you have a full model in 3d and a simple 2d pixel thing, second option is preferable for me

so having a ton of small things interact with stuff while I can just silently watch and see the unlikeliest characters getting along fine is the to-go way to just relax for me

and I need that for my brain

[violetwolfraven]

Wait wait wait remember that post about how Team Starkid/the Lang brothers are going to be comparable to Shakespeare 500 years from now and it was mostly played for laughs like yeah lol you’ll need a paragraph of footnotes to explain the zefron poster but like

I don’t think that’s actually far off from how Starkid’s place in theatre history might play out and here’s why. Just hear me out

Why is Shakespeare so popular today when he definitely wasn’t the only playwright from that era? When he’s not even the only playwright from that era from England that we have surviving works from?

Two main reasons:

1) Shakespeare’s work is (relatively) universally relatable. The characters do things that are so fundamentally human. They make jokes at their friends’ expense. They complain about being awkward in front of their crush. They have daddy issues. The plot lines of the plays aren’t too complicated. The dick jokes land whether you’re watching in 1611 or 2024, and they probably still will in 2637. Shakespeare’s works are timeless because he didn’t try to outsmart his audience. He wrote about things everyone could relate to rather than trying too hard to peacock his intellect in front of the nobility. This is not true of every playwright.

2) Shakespeare was really popular right around the time England started colonizing everything in sight. Copies of his work got shipped all around the world, translated into dozens of languages, performed probably thousands of times. Setting aside the moral implications of this, the important thing to note is that Shakespeare was about the most easily accessible English playwright during a time of rapid, intense globalization.

Meanwhile, Starkid:

1) Invests hard in meaningful, relatable character arcs instead of spectacle and expensive sets or costumes. Also, lowbrow, immature humor and dick jokes that make A Very Potter Sequel funny and enjoyable regardless of if you’ve ever seen any other Harry Potter media in your life.

2) Posts professional recordings of their musicals to YouTube FOR FREE, making their shows about the easiest, best quality musical theatre you can get pretty much anywhere in the world, regardless of if your area has an active theatre scene. Proshots from other companies are rare and usually not free. Bootlegs are all well and good, but even if the video quality is alright (and that’s a big if) the audio is usually garbage. Starkid has been posting the best quality free recordings they can afford since 2009, shortly after the birth of social media, another time of rapid, intense globalization.

In short, I’m not saying that theatre historians in 500 years won’t remember any our current Broadway faves, but I am saying that in my opinion, Team Starkid is probably going to be more accessible for the general public. If you’re a 26th century English teacher trying to teach your class about narrative structure in 21st century theatre, what are you going to show your students? A bootleg of Hadestown with blurry video and garbage audio? Or the professional recording of Twisted, parts of which they will probably even enjoy, because even long after no one remembers Disney’s Aladdin anymore, your class of 26th century 16-year-olds are still going to laugh at “No One Remembers Achmed.”

[b1asho]

So yeah, how to train your dragon is a big deal to me. I'm not going to watch the live action movie grrghhhhg

Here’s some design stuff? Headcanons?

I my head toothless is literally just that weird anchovie as a dragon. He buzzes around like a bug, and his species intentionally mimics common or gardens as a part of their life cycle on land. The only things that mark him out from the bazillion actual common garden subspecies are the blue wings and webbed feet. He looks all big headed and has no teeth because relative to that 1000 year life span, he’s just a fish fry.

Speaking of common or garden browns, I think it’d be funny if Horrorcow actually *was* herbivorous or mostly-herbivorous because that’s just what subspecies she was and the humans just can’t tell the difference because ’it’s a dragon it must eat meat duh’ and they lump all them together. Honestly it’s prolly for the best she peaces out to the caves for a bit, girl is not built for being in that close proximity to a Main Character.

Fireworm is just a bully, Rottweiler sized and classically dragonish. I tried not to think about making them all super realistic or thinking about how all their species could be related because the books don’t really do that super in depth and that’s part of the fun, so she just looks like a dragon (tm) even though the term dragon also covers things that have fur, or feathers, or produce milk, and look vastly different, Her claws are retractable and her leg spurs help fight off other monstrous nightmares. It’s so funny to me that she just immediately defects to the rebellion, it’s so in character even though she seems to have at least sorta vibed with snot.

I really liked drawing Stormfly as a kid, and the fact that she’s dragon meowth/ can just speak Norse because she can is also fun. She’s not feathery, those are like. Skin flaps or something that can move and change color. Very squirmy.

Windwalker is also one of my faves, I’m sad we didn’t get to see the metamorphosis but the mystery of it is also fun. It was also nice to see him start talking again after meeting hiccup. His ability to out-altitude other dragons is his species’ general hunting strategy and eventually his wings will straighten out (but his are in particularly bad shape because of his time working in the enclosed tunnels of the mines.) (Btw it's still crazy to me that dragon and human slavery is just a thing in the books and we just have to deal with it)

Wodensfang is that classic shriveled Old Man. I think that over time, they molt off their size (through literally freezing up, shrinking a little in a shell of their skin, melting bones and muscle and then coming out smaller, like the reverse of shedding skin to get bigger. Just don't think about it too hard, magic is basically canon here ) over time and leave the ocean to leave more room for the whippersnappers who are just coming in from the land. He’s missing most of his teeth, but the envenomed fangs still work.

I also have the book of dragons, it’d be fun to one day go through and draw all of them (I’ve already done that but those were on notebook paper and lost to time)

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Its so funny to me when people behave similarly to their faves. How in character for a Leona enjoyer (🫵YOU) to be so casual about Malleus at best

Not sure if this comment is in reference to a particular a previous ask, but I did receive a description of myself that sounded vaguely like L*ona 😭

***PLEASE NOTE: Everything I express in this post is my own opinion and is in no way meant to disparage Malleus enjoyers.***

hcbsjsbwksks. To be fair 😅 I have disliked Malleus LONG before I ever liked L*ona (I disliked L*ona in the beginning as well) so things ending up this way is coincidental. I just don’t feel like Malleus should be heaped with praise for doing what is essentially the bare minimum that sounds like a L*onaism, I know. Genuinely do not understand the hype around him simply appearing and saying maybe a few lines for half of the main story or why every little thing must somehow relate back to him. (The latter point is more of a behavior from the fandom; I assume some of this comes from the Diasomnia content drought we experienced for some time and Malleus being a major yet mysterious part of the marketing… Even so, I find it the reactions to be overblown at times, especially when I can’t discuss certain story segments, events, or vignettes without someone coming in to aggressively defend Malleus’s honor.) L*ona voice) “You don’t impress me, lizard.”

I’ll give him credit where credit is due, but in most cases I think he hasn’t done enough to earn the copious amounts of love and respect he gets (both from the EN fandom and in-universe). When has he acted like a leader? When has he been humbled and accepted the consequences of his actions? It really is frustrating seeing someone who typically rests on his laurels get all the attention. He needs to be called out more for his missteps instead of those missteps largely being hand-waved away because of his power, status, age, race, or any other factor which separates him from his peers. I need to stop talking because the more I do it the more I sound like L*ona—

cbdksbkwkwkw So yeah, “casual” is the best it gets for Draconia until he can demonstrate to me otherwise. I of course don’t expect complete maturity from Malleus (or any Twst character), but it is still so unappealing to watch him remain stagnant, throwing temper tantrums, etc. I’m holding out for the end of book 7 to do something for his character, but I’m not super optimistic given his track record up to this point 😔 Malleus’s character development wouldn’t be that fast.

[lizardsfromspace]

What's the worst thing about fandom in the last 20 years, and what's the worst thing about fandom that's always been true of it?

The worst thing about fandom in the last 20 years has been the incentivizing of fandom-as-conflict: not merely as a field in broader culture wars but as the field for endless intra-group battles.

This manifests in many ways: as seven hour videos complaining about The Last Jedi, as Twitter backlash campaigns, but also as stans defending their faves from any and all criticism real or imagined, as the endless boom-and-backlash cycle to any fandom meme or joke you see on Reddit, and as the drive for people to look for evidence other people discussing a thing they like are hysterical illiterate dolts, before anything else.

Or, in other words: a lot of fandoms are full of assholes these days, whose main interaction with fandom is using it as a reason to be an asshole, and to defend being an asshole. The actual “fandom” part of fandom no longer really exists for them. The discourse more or less is their fandom; someone whose main fandom activity is sharing videos about how Steven Universe is a fascist (?) isn’t in the Steven Universe fandom, they’re in the videos about how Steven Universe is a fascist (?) fandom. I mean, the chief fandom for many people is their side in the fandom war. What type of fanfic you write is secondary to what your affiliations are vis-a-vis battles over fanfiction

(One trend I've noticed is people who aren't at the stage where they only talk about what they hate and not what they love, but are at the stage where they can only talk about what they love in relation to what they hate. "I love this movie...and it proves this other movie is bullshit made by a hack". No ability to say just "I love this movie", period, end of sentence. This is how like two-thirds of Film Twitter talks about film, the remainder are all the grindhouse people going "man you've GOT to see Wrong Turn 5")

Another one, that I think is related, is that fandom’s become...more transitory, maybe? There’s Big Fandoms that are inescapable and then everything else feels like it’s here for a weekend and then it’s gone. And we’ve always had fandoms that endure and fandoms that vanish quickly, when the show runs short or turns out to be bad/boring, but we did use to have a lot of enduring if small fandoms for Okay shows most people hadn’t heard of and now you don’t really. Or they burn themselves out fast.

So we’ve reached this stage where fandoms are either so big they have seven hour long discourse videos, or they’re a smattering of fanart over the course of two weeks last August. But that isn’t really the fault of fans so much as modern media release schedules.

A lot of fandom activities of old are just...impossible now, with many shows? The slow build of speculation and fan works and in-jokes and theorizing and analysis simply can’t exist in a world where the premiere comes out the same day as the finale, and you can’t talk about the finale because you have no way of knowing if the person you’re talking to binged it all in one weekend or is still on episode four. That was the kind of thing that sustained the fandom of something that wasn’t a big hit, or even something that was. My fave fandom experience ever was watching the online Lost fandom wildly theorizing for all six years of Lost, and we’d never get “and what if the Smoke Monster is a dinosaur but only the head?” under a Netflix release model. Now at a base level, we either have shows nobody can discuss because nobody’s sure who’s seen or what, or shows where everyone just discusses the finale right away, and where you get One Week of Show and then a massive hiatus, which either kills all momentum or...drives fandom in the direction of hyper-analyzing everything and fighting because, well, what else is there to do? And that plus the outrage cycles of social media plus the fact that “man who yells at Star Wars” is now a viable career choice result in, well. *gestures upwards* All that

(Really, shout out to Cartoon Network for engineering the Steven Universe fandom to Be Like That through their inscrutable strategy of dropping episodes during one random week every five months or whatever)

As for something that's always been with it...cliques and a certain fannish elitism, like, that sees engaging with media in a fandom sense as more creative or analytical or intelligent than your average person. You see it now in the form of, like, people holding up fanfic above published fiction as more representative or authentic (I’ve seen more than one post on here strongly implying queer rep doesn’t exist in mainstream non-fic storytelling???), or going “well, we think about shows, unlike those normies watching sports”. But that was probably way more pronounced a thing in the past, in the 40-50s sci-fi fans were calling non-fans "mundanes" and calling themselves "slans" as an in-group signifier (a reference to a book with superintelligent psychic mutants known as slans). Like at the very least we should be happy no one’s calling non-fans “muggles” anymore. In the evolution from “mundane” to “muggle” to “normie” normie’s probably the least bad one

[grace-williams-xo]

RAMBLING THOUGHTS AFTER FINISHING PART TWO. GONNA ADDRESS MY P1 THOUGHTS FIRST. SPOILER WARNING.

1 & 2: I think Debling could’ve worked in the second half, and I’m kinda sad Cressida didn’t get a happy ending. The Creloise fell of a CLIFF after ep 5 but I think it could still be saved

5: no cishet man has ever loved his wife more than Anthony Bridgerton I’m gonna be ill

6 & 12: kanthony’s absence was felt BAD in the finale, I think their reactions to LW were sorely needed. Also Jonny and Simone have both said they’ll be at every sibling’s wedding and stick around for years but they missed Francesca’s??? Also felt their absence too much then. They’re both booked and busy I think we’ll continue to only get a couple episodes a season from them

8: Francesca did get to thrive happy in pt 2 my baby I love her

9: I think they managed to disconnect the mondrich plot even further like 😭 once again, I don’t mind them their plot just feels very empty

10: Pen and Delacroix CONTINUE to be my fave duo I love them so freaking much and they can never get rid of it

13: Portia’s growth this season continued to be 10/10 I loved her and Penelope’s relationship it really showed what it’s like to be closely related to people you oppose and the process of needing to forgive and understand them for your own peace of mind

14: that was not how I was expecting Colin to find out about Whistledown

15: Marcus felt a little rushed in part two but I think I need to watch the whole season together to fully decide

17: this was indeed the longest 27 days of my life I got Covid day after it dropped lmfao

MY ~NEW~ THOUGHTS:

We finally got character development from Cressida and if they write her out I’ll be inconsolable (as will Jessica Madsen)

I hope they paid Golda Rosheuvel good for her feet exposure. Worth more than titties in this economy

I feel the need to tell everyone that £5000 in 1815 is in the realm of £500,000 today and we cannot brush over the fact Penelope has made herself the equivalent of a literal millionaire

Anthony has two moods ‘I’m obsessed with my wife’ ‘I want to win this game’ like it is comical how drastically different his facial expression is in the game of charades compared to pretty much every other scene

Anthony saying the marriage is perfect and not hard work and Kate being like BOY I will humble you,,,, doing the lord’s work I love her so much

At some points I felt like Francesca was fighting Anthony for ‘Violet’s least favourite child’ award lmao

John saying he’s off to look at the wainscotting was unfairly funny

Cressida in the red dress is even better than I imagined fuck even if she’s not gay then I am

Peneloise back together the universe is healing I love my babies all we need now is creloise lovers and peneloise friendship simultaneously I don’t like it being one or the other sue me

However much Brimsley is getting paid isn’t enough,,,, Hugh Sachs the man that you are

I adored Penelope’s wedding dress so much and as bitter as I am still about no kanthony wedding in s2, it felt kind of right somehow for Polin to be the first wedding we properly see in this show

Most of the costumes and makeup feel like they got worse,,,,, big ‘I hired a 14 year old’ energy. I don’t need historical accuracy but I would like a modicum of care and the costume/hair/makeup dept looking at a single historical reference from before 1850,,,, please

We all got the bi Benedict we’ve been asking for and I appreciate it, and recognise that he needed Tilley to explore that, but I still would’ve preferred if they first main queer experience was not a threesome

If they go straight into benophie in s4 (which idk, I’m so torn bc I feel like F, E and B all could work well next season) then I also feel like bi Benedict was just them throwing a bone for 5 mins but meant nothing

The CONTENTIOUS Michaela Stirling,,,,, I was undecided until I saw it but that was the definition of gay panic from Francesca and it worked so well I am so excited.

As your resident peerage expert, it is much easier for women to inherit titles in Scotland than England so I wonder (not that anyone on this show knows anything) if that was a reason they chose Francesca to be sapphic [general peerage info and female inheritance info if you care]

On the above, if they can canonically end racism with one marriage then they can end homophobia with one marriage as well

We all know Eloise was the easy and obvious choice to be the queer love story but part of me does kind of like them not taking the easy route, and them going something more unexpected, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want Creloise/Sapphic El like they had eight children let’s be honest

Finch’s sneeze and Phillips’s “now Varely! The bugs!” were unfairly funny

Everything Lady Danbury said to Penelope about suspecting her and what not felt very in character and you can fight with the wall idc

Did they tell us the name of Polin’s baby boy???

Hyacinth saying she thinks of Gregory as the family pet,,,,, girl you an icon walking amongst mere mortals

Predictions I got right:

Anthony didn’t kill Colin, but “are you gonna duel your own brother” lmao I was on the right track

I knew Polin would win the Featherington baby race and I love that for them (but why were Prudence and Phillipa pregnant most of the season, barely showing, Kate was showing almost immediately, and then in the epilogue the sisters all had baby’s similar-ish ages???? Give the writers room a calendar please)

I SAID FROM DAY DOT THAT THE FURNITURE THEY BROKE FROM SEX WAS A CHAISE I CANT FIND THE POST BUT I KNEW IT I FUCKING KNEW IT WHERE DO I COLLECT MY PRIZE SOME OF YOUR GUESSES WERE TRULY FUCKING COOKED

Okay that was too long if you made it this far I’ll make you cookie ily

[beddybites]

What was the tiny 21 trios first reactions to turning, reactions to each other and if they panicked how did they calm down? (Extra question, what could trigger Giyuu(IMMM SORRRY HE'S ONE OF MY FAVES))

this ask feels like a good time to bring back this comic

this is a very good question... their reactions were all very different. think fight/flight/freeze in a way!

Sanemi

"fight"

essentially got really pissed off and refused to believe what was going on.

He refused to accept their situation and angrily babbled, commanding the demon that transformed them to turn them back and stuff.

typical Sanemi shenanigans

he mellowed out a bunch, but he didn't actually calm down and relax until Kagaya got to talk to them

Sanemi continued being really pissed off and frustrated

when Tengen teased him he did attempt to bite him

he's usually able to get a hold of himself (though its 10x more difficult with the baby chemistry)

but more often than not he does need help calming down. the others worry he could make himself sick or hurt himself

Giyuu

"flight"

he initially froze and was in genuine shock over the situation

like sanemi he refused to believe it and insisted this was some sort of nightmare

but he eventually realized the other two were in a worse position and his main concern turned into trying to find help

though the second they were safe he tried crawling away & attempted to avoid the entire situation

he wasn't entirely phased when gyomei was cradling them and carrying them to the other hashira. he just played dead

to calm himself down he basically asks for his haori and will use it as a sort of blanket

he distances too, though it can be difficult given he is. a baby

unfortunately. shinobu and tanjiro won't let him

Obanai

"freeze"

obanai was so overwhelmed and horrified he didn't know what to do, which just overwhelmed him even more

he basically just suffered in silence at first

obanai's had it rough since he was a newborn so. lots of negative thoughts and feelings

kaburamaru recognizes this and sticks as close as possible, especially with how tiny obanai is compared to the two

he was really freaked out for a number of reasons, and was alarmed by how weak he was because, again, tiny, sickly baby

obanai was calmed down when kaburamaru coiled around him and nuzzled against him in support

he was also surprised to find he was at ease shortly after being scooped up by rengoku and fawned over by mitsuri, though he wouldn't show it easily

and to answer your second question about giyuu........ i think anything that could be related to sabito or his sister (particularly reminders about what happened to them) would really screw him up... i don't have any specific scenarios but. i'd think it would be something like that!!! a bunch of people crowding him and coddling him would probably freak him out too, since he's used to being by himself

[fangdokja]

Hiya! Is it okay to ask who your favorite OC is so far? I'm just so curious, that's all! God Bless ^^!!!

((also unrelated:was I hallucinating or did you have Ichiya from variable baricade as a header before??? He's one of my fave otome guys, I genuinely love his pathetic meow meow vibes, especially that crying CG—))

— Lear

WARNING: Prepare for unstructured (OOC?) Fang Dokja rambling. Because I'm exposing myself in excitement again nuuuu. ALSO SPOILERS. Basically rare times of me posting being weird.

Yandere! Russian! Mafia Boss. No questions. That man can choke and kill me and I'd let him. Joke. My husband would kill me whahahahaha.

Above all, my husband is ALWAYS my favorite of course. Always will be, and nobody can compare. Technically in "Her Hell, His Heaven." I'm writing it with my husband and I in mind, so my favorite is obviously that. But for existing Yandere! OC's?

Anyways, I would say there are two ways to answer this. As a READER, my top 3 are:

♡ Main Story. 🔞"I trusted you, wife, and now I'll teach you what betrayal feels like."

#1: Yandere! Russian! Mafia Boss - Daddy Dom who can and will kill you. Yes. Please choke and desecrate me Daddy. Yes.

Also there's good reason why I made the banner one of my favorite manga story + art style of all time = Brutal: Satsujin Kansatsukan No Kokuhaku. I don't simp for Hiroki Dan but he's both relatable and incredibly funny to me. Also plot is plotting. Fav arc and punishment was the woman gang rape + assault + date drugging arc. Second arc. Graphic and realistic, also the punishments are always satisfying. One of the manga I reread regularly until today.

Yes, I love unhinged + unapologetic + black flags + sadistic men who will hurt and kill you. Yummmyyyy. Why? Reminds me of my husband. Don't ask. *sweats*

Yandere! Zombie Apocalypse! Survivor

♡ Sub Story. In the world of the dead, he was the only thing keeping you alive—and tearing you apart.

Headcanons 1 : Flesh and Fetish (General)

In a world where only the strongest survive, he’s the monster you can't escape.

#2: Yandere! Zombie Apocalypse! Survivor

I love morally grey men who love to make people suffer. Yes, even if it's with the one he loves. I'm weird I know. Hm... I do like the worldbuilding since I've always loved zombie apocalypse stories and worlds. But, he's ayt.

Yandere! Marine Corps & Good Girl

Oneshots

He crushed a man’s skull beneath his boot and turned to you with a smile.

"You’ll never escape me—not when I’m the only one keeping you alive."

#3: Yandere! Marine Corps

Basically me picking what reminds me of my husband. Don't really have anything that reminds me solely of him tbh.

For numbers 2-3, I can't pick anything else tbh. A lot of the characters I write can have my husband's qualities, but I never write my husband so... I can only find certain parts I can see; but a lot of times, I don't write my husband because that's weird haha.

As a WRITER (OK THIS HAS MORE ANALYSIS). Meaning it's about the way I constructed these characters especially, their behavior as yanderes + psychological horror-thriller content:

Yandere! Author

Headcanons 1 : Fate’s Final Draft (General)

He’s the hero in his own story… and you’re his latest toy.

🔞"You like happy endings? Too bad. I don’t write those."

#1: Yandere! Author - Not to be weird and all, but I based him off on both Scar from Wuthering Waves and myself.

For me, I wrote it because I genuinely like making characters suffer. Yes, I admit it. No one is safe. It's why I love writing grimdark stories. To me, in all honesty? Happiness is not relatable to me, especially fluff and slice-of-life (but I can read and enjoy it). It's suffering and hardships that I relate to most. So, I wrote a character that I based off my writing style in essence.

Haven't fully captured personality, but attempted and inspired by Scar.

Now for the Scar part: Personality wise we're nothing alike. But I love Scar's personality and eccentric actions + theatrics, ever since I saw him. Like seriously. He's chaotic, unapologetic and honestly I love moral dilemmas. ALSO HIS FACE IS SO EXPRESSIVE, he's theatrical. I love it.

The story he gave when talking to Rover, well, I really loved it. Relatable and psychological. YES. I AM HARDCORE SCAR MAIN. WHERE IS HIS BANNER FUDGE. Like there's this new pirate blue haired guy that gives ENTP vibes. WHERE IS SCAR. WHERE IS HIS BANNER COMING. WUWAAAAAA.

Am I a simp? Fudge no. I don't simp for him. But I relate hardcore to him. He's one of my top tier I-relate-to-so-much characters. Yeah, I wouldn't say I'm like him personality wise. Definitely not. But morally wise? Like I just love it. I really liked the storyline of WuWa, not sure how it's going but FREAKING SO MANY RELATABLE MALE CHARACTERS.

I don't simp for any WuWa males. But.... I relate: Jiyan, Geshu Lin, Scar, Xiangli Yao, Rover. YES I RELATE TO ALL OF THEM. FREAKING I FOUND JIYAN'S STORY SO SAD AND RELATABLE LIKE WWATTTT. Xiangli Yao's story is also sad but for me JIYAN STORY TOP TIER. ALSO YES, I REALLY LOVE THE DYSTOPIAN VIBES OF WUWA.

I LITERALLY READ ACTUAL LORE LIKE THE NOTEBOOKS YOU FIND????? or papers and shiz? I READ. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF IT. YES. EVEN THE SIDE QUESTS AND EVENTS. I don't do that when gaming. So you can tell I really loved the story of WuWa. For others, it's crap. But for me, I hardcore related to it and I enjoyed it.

Me to myself: tryard.

Me: Shut up.

Me: SHIZ. you're making me want to get back into WuWa. *cries in no Scar banner* Though I do love the pirate vibes.

Hopefully story hasn't gone downhill.... anyways.

Yandere! Russian! Mafia Boss

Headcanons 1 : The Bride of Blood (General)

To him, you're perfect. To you, he's just a mission.

🔞"I don't need your love, I need your submission."

#2: Yandere! Russian! Mafia Boss - Up next, torture simulator.

I made Yandere! Russian! Mafia Boss + Yandere! Spanish! Pirate Captain + Yandere! Alpha! Hybrid Wolf around the same time. When making each story, I basically thought....

"How much can I make the protagonist suffer?"

Literally my thoughts. How far can I take this? It's also one of the reasons why making the sequels are a challenge. I am making all of the sequels, since a lot of people requested. But, it's a challenge because I wrote every one of these stories as original standalones. I was literally like ".... wait. You want more???"

But I welcomed the challenge. Difficult but still doable.

Anyways, I enjoyed writing his most because his torture scenes are peak quality among all my works so far. I think that's the main reason why. Personality wise? He's still emotional to me. Not like my husband. BRUH, sorry, my husband is like really....really, REALLY, like uhhh, I don't know, but Yandere! Russian! Mafia Boss is still emotional in general.

When I mean emotional, I don't mean he's stupid or reckless. He's still methodical and loyal even, but he's also driven by a need to prove something and to claim control again.

But, I wouldn't say I like him emotionally, more of the way I made the torture. Yes. Simply. That's it. ahhahahaa

Now for third, I don't really have an all-time favorite, but one I do remember off the bat that impacted me was because of how I wrote and ended the story:

Yandere! Stepfather & Stepdaughter

Novella 1 : Paternal Privilege

He’s your family, but he doesn’t act like it.

🔞Pleasure in every strike, pain in every kiss.

🔞In the end, love is both their salvation and their damnation.

🔞His love is suffocating, but she’s forgotten how to breathe without it.

🔞Love shouldn’t feel like drowning, but he’s the only one who can save her.

She fell, but not by accident. He made sure of it.

#3: Yandere! Stepfather - For this, sure, Daddy's hot. But, it's not just that. What I enjoyed when writing this story was the plot itself. Especially the ENDING.

What I was thinking of when making this is basically, "Let's distract the Readers with so much sex that they don't notice what's happening underneath. Use sex and erotica as the red herring!"

And it worked pretty well actually hahahaha, based on a lot of comments thus far.

Hm, yeah, not really much right now, but what I enjoyed for this is mostly plot, not fully the characters all the way. I prefer ones with extreme or actual gore and horror. This series was more on the subtle manipulative side, even with the sex.

...

Yes. I still have a type. wahahhaahha

ADDITIONAL INFO + Yandere Male Recommendations (AND SPOILERS FOR THE GAME):

YES, I played Variable Barricade a long time ago and I enjoyed it a lot. Actually, the picture was not Ichiya, it was the bad ending with the twin. I came for the pink-haired guy, Taiga. Reminded me most of my husband's infuriating demeanor with me before we officially dated and stuff. Literally. INFURIATING.

And what happened? Played the routes, both Taiga and Ichiya's. Found myself seeing the twin and doing the bad ending last. I was like "Shiz this guy's the one most like my husband ahhhhhhh". Not yandere, just a jerk, tbh, but it's more of the, ....uhhh. IDK It's hard to explain! But LITERALLY I FOUND MYSELF RELATING CRAZY TO THE BAD ENDING MOST THAN ANYTHING. CRAZYYY ahhhh

That smirk does things to me. LOLLLLL AHHAHAHAH

This was my banner image before, since when I see it, reminds of my husband and I. GAH, I relate more to bad endings than good ones sometimes tbh (or maybe all the time.... does that say something about myself? Yes it does, haha).

Also this is the scene Anon was talking about. If you like crying yanderes, here. For you all who love your pathetic crying men:

ALSO PEOPLE SAID THERE IS NO YANDERE IN THIS GAME.

ICHIYA IS YANDERE. He's an ENFJ YANDERE that is the "If you can't be with me, then let's die together." kind of vibes. It's been a while, can't remember, but yeah.

WDYM THERE IS NO YANDERE. I was shocked because I was just chillin' then I found that ending scene. So guys, yandere reccs for youuu alll. And this is a good game in general, liked it.

ALSO I LOVE THE SONG. Still listen to it. Just listened to it actually.

ALSO THE ART IS AMAZING. JUST LOOK AT IT. The mini endings were oddly satisfying. IDK I related to it a lot, not for the characters, but it just reminded me a bit of how my own personal love story went. Definitely not as dark, but still. My all-time favorite otome. LEGIT.

Other notes, I found the MC relatable at that time, and also the friends. I usually get annoyed with females. Not being sexist. But it's more of a lot of bland breads around. It's also why I always make sure the female OC's I release have substance in them, like all my characters.

Ok, I'm sorry if I'm wrong but will I refer it to you as "Lear" then? I don't know why I thought of Lurker, but yeah. If I'm mistaken, feel free to inform me or to ask for a name change, no worries. Thank you so much for asking me this, and being comfortable enough to ask :))

Anyways, I'll note down your name then as my first named Anon ever, "Lear." Thank you! God bless too :)) Literally exposed my excited self, but oh well.

Also I'm a naturally curious person, no worries, Lear. For Readers, don't be afraid to ask or something, as long you obey the RULES, like the usual proper human respect and decorum, then all is chill.

[clubdionysus]

[BAD DECISION #40] Spinning Bottles

warnings: one of my faves!! drinking games, alcohol, home noraebang a la in the soop, brief game-related kiss with someone who isn't kook, jealous kook!!, ankle hold!! mm mm mm, kitchen kisses <3, mutual masturbation, sex toys (m&f), cum eating, cum swapping, multiple orgasms, just a fun time all round <3, the starlovers are really good at taking breaks!! self control is their forte!!

a/n: they're on wings which is like track 3 of the sy: final setlist and I can't promise ill get much more done of this bc they're in sparkly suits and I'm just a girl

wc: 14.5K

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

"Stop," you laugh in that oh-so-serene way you always do when you don't really want Jeongguk to stop whatever he's doing. You just like an excuse to bicker - but he's just the same. Enjoys the back and forth. Always puts a smile on his face.

In the kitchen area of the main house, you've been setting up with Namjoon for the better part of half an hour, making sure that everything is ready for tipsy bingo later that evening.

The room is a chaotic mix of party decorations; an exuberant clash of colours that makes the previously millennial-grey kitchen come to life. Streamers hang from the ceiling, as do the balloons, and a few tiny disco balls, which are really just repurposed Christmas tree decorations.

"Not doing anything," Jeongguk mumbles through a mouthful of the puffed cheese balls that have been set out on the table as a snack for the evening.

Stood on a chair as you tape another one of the disco balls in place, you look over your shoulder to find Jeongguk's cheeks full to the brim. Eyes like a deer caught in headlights, he whips his hand away from the bowl, which now has significantly fewer snacks in it than it did 5 minutes ago.

"Gguk!" You laugh once more, simply shaking your head. "Told you already. They're for later."

"I'm not doing anything," he protests yet again, as if you don't have a pair of working eyes and ears.

"Well, in that case, do something ," you say. "Be useful."

"And do what?" He mumbles through yet another mouthful.

Unbelievable .

Tossing the tape in your hand down onto the kitchen counter, you hop down from the chair and just shake your head as you approach him. His fingertips are orange, and he can't lick them clean because his mouth is full of the cheese puffs that he's pretending aren't there.

"You're like a hamster," you deadpan, squeezing his cheeks a little bit - which causes his ever-so-large eyes to widen even further, scared of the pressure you're applying. Thankfully for him, you don't really fancy getting coated in his regurgitated food. You'll share many things with him, but this is not one of them.

Loosening your grip, you walk around the kitchen island to check in the fridge for the alcohol you bought earlier. "Fancy tending the bar, Dionysus boy?"

Jeongguk frowns. Swallows down the food he totally wasn't eating. Says, "It's my day off!"

"Pretty please," you plead with a pout, and then for good measure you add, "Koo. Please."

He outwardly scowls, but his insides are doing all sorts of silly loop-di-loop shit that usually only happens on rollercoasters. "Don't call me that. Witch."

"Just make a few pitchers for me," you implore, ignoring the choice of insult. You quite enjoy the idea of putting a spell on him. Might make him behave for once. "Starfuckers, Star Lovers, anything. I don't mind. A Woo-woo maybe?"

He scoffs, now. "A Woo-woo? Who do you think I am, B?"

Making his way around the counter, he taps your hips and scoots you out of the way before grabbing the liquor from the bottom shelf.

"A fuckin' woo-woo. It's like you don't even know me," he scolds you. Is ridiculously obtuse in his little tantrum, not caring for the fact he'll be making you exactly what you want. "You'll get what you're given - and you're getting star fuckers. And you're gonna like them."

Rather be getting star fucked, your brain sighs, and you almost verbalise the command for it to shut up.

Instead, you just beam at him like the shooting star you are. "Thank you!"

Leaving him to mumble false annoyances under his breath, you get back on with decking the room to the absolute nines. Jeongguk takes over the playlist, and you let him, even if you do lament the fact Charlie Puth seems to be every other song. The thing is, Jeongguk's voice harmonises so heavenly that it makes even the most overplayed of songs enjoyable.

Eventually, he makes himself extra useful and helps Namjoon rearrange some of the furniture to make the set-up a little bit more like a bingo hall. You and Namjoon get your very own stage - or rather, the boys just haul in a couple of wooden palettes from the deck area that will one day be chopped down for firewood.

Disguised by a little fabric and even more decorative touches from your hands, the room looks like a whimsical coming together of Dionysus and your apartment. Colourful, a little makeshift and incredibly welcoming, it's perfect. Fairy lights line the walls, balloons are scattered around the floor and disco balls take their place on the ceiling.

"Christ alive," is all Jimin mutters as he enters the room - and that's how you know it's perfect. As long as his minimalism-loving interior designer ass hates it, it's everything you could ever want and more.

There's a joy that comes with a room decorated like they're anticipating a toddler's birthday party, yet there are wine glasses in the place where there should be sippy cups - although now you come to think about it, perhaps sippy cups would have been a good idea.

You've barely explained the instructions of the night, and the group are already getting merry. Jeongguk's welcoming shots were a little stronger than normal, by design. He knows you have high hopes for your little event, and wants to help achieve that.

Dressed to the nines while the rest of the group are casual, you and Namjoon are severely committed to the bit. He's in a sweatshirt and bowtie, while you're wearing a pretty, white summer dress with a few ruffles. It's not all that dignified. It's so short that you know bending over isn't a good idea - but it doesn't matter.

Jeongguk still stares at you like a lovesick puppy regardless.

The first round is simple - just your standard game of Bingo. Namjoon has been brushing up on all the correct terms - "Legs eleven! Duck and dive, twenty-five! Meal for two, sixty-nine!"

That last one earns a few groans from the crowd.

It does, however, get a little smirk on Jeongguk's face. On yours, too. You think you're coy when you sneak a glance in his direction, only to see he's doing just the same.

The contact of your gaze lasts for a fraction of a second, but it's enough to awaken dormant butterflies that seem to have hatched quite recently. You're all of a flutter. Can't quite seem to focus.

Thankfully it's Namjoon leading this round, and not you.

Yoongi is the first to call bingo. Screams it quite violently, actually, then plays it cool as if he didn't give a shit. Strolls up to the stage to present his card - not that you've been keeping track of the numbers. Still, you and Namjoon feign deliberation between yourselves, then crown him your first winner.

His prize? Watching on as everyone takes a shot of his choice.

And because he's an absolute heathen, he chooses Fireball.

"You sick fuck," Jimin gasps before he's even taken the shot of cinnamon whisky. Hates the stuff. Knows he's in for a world of pain when he wakes up with a hangover the next morning.

"Not my fault you're a loser," Yoongi teases. "Win next time and then you can pick."

And so, by some miracle - or just him convincing Nabi to switch bingo sheets with him - he does.

Living with a bartender has many perks, and learning specific shots is just one of them. Jimin really hasn't utilised it enough, but Jeongguk looks on with pride as Jimin sets up a round of slippery nipples.

Equal parts sambuca and Baileys, the different densities of the alcohol means that the bottom half of the glass is entirely transparent, while the top half is a pale, creamy brown. Appetising? No. Delicious? Also, no. Fun to watch other people drink? Absolutely.

This time, Jimin forces you and Namjoon to drink. You protest. Cite a particularly bad night out (and morning after) thanks to slippery nipples.

Jeongguk calls you a pussy from across the room.

Challenged, you down it instantly, and mouth 'fuck you' at him after you've stopped wincing from the taste.

He just knocks his shot back without any trouble, grinning as he looks at you, his brows quickly rising and then falling. In the corner of his mouth, his lip ring does that godforsaken thing you love so much, and you decide that you simply cannot look at him for the rest of the evening.

By the third round, things are getting lairy.

Seoyeon calls bullshit when Yoongi wins again - "We're supposed to be a team! You can't be throwing me under the bus!" - and the judges have no choice but to disqualify him - "It's my party!" - and then give him a penalty shot for arguing with the adjudicators - "You're both uninvited to the wedding."

When Seoyeon calls 'bingo' two numbers later, you realise that perhaps she had ulterior motives.

"Unbelievable," Yoongi mutters when she passes him a shot of vodka with a giggle - but as soon as he's downed it, he's got his arm looped back around her shoulders again, and a kiss is being pressed to her cheek.

So in love are Seoyeon and Yoongi that both you and Namjoon gag a little - then force everyone else to take a shot. Star fuckers, this time. One of the pre-made batches you had Jeongguk mix-up earlier. Far more palatable than the other shots. In fact, they're so much nicer, that most people do another shot voluntarily.

With enough liquor in your systems to really let loose, you and Namjoon introduce the real bingo of the night.

Numbered balls back in the cage, Namjoon hands out fresh bingo sheets while you hold up a list, a wicked smile on your face.

Jeongguk recognises that smile. Fuckin' loves it. Knows it means one thing and one thing only: trouble.

"Each number correlates with a 'Never Have I Ever' prompt," you explain. "If you've never done it, you can cross the number off your bingo card."

"And if we have done it?" Taehyung asks, as if you weren't about to just move onto that stipulation of the rules. He's impatient. Wants to win.

"If you have done it, you take a sip of drink."

"And cross it off?" He clarifies, but is horrified to see you shake your head.

"Nope. If you've done it, you take a shot, and leave it uncrossed ."

"No one will ever win!" He wails - not realising that's the whole entire point.

The list is a combination of yours and Namjoon's knowledge. You've directly targeted your friends with things you know they've done. Have tried not to incriminate yourself too much, but you know there are things both you and Jeongguk will be drinking for.

Collectively deciding that no one would be able to win the game, you had both spent the entire time writing out the list giggling.

It was truly a bonding moment for you both - just as you're sure the revelations of everyone's sex lives will be for the whole group. Nothing says 'strong friendship' quite like knowing what your mates get up to in the sack. You and Jeongguk are a testament to this.

With 92 balls in the cage, you really had to scrape the barrel of sexual exploits when coming up with the list.

Which is why the first one gets you laughing before you even read it out.

"74," you announce. "Never have I ever had someone else's toes in my mouth."

"What?!"

"You guys are horrible," Danbi laughs - then takes a shot... as does nearly everyone in the room.

The only person who doesn't is Hoseok. He looks at you all with mild horror and intense curiosity. Points his finger around the room, and judgmentally says, "Disgusting. All of you. Animals."

"Don't knock it till you try it," Namjoon says, before swigging down some of his drink. You can't work out if he's flirting. Decide not to let it linger, 'cause from the look on Hoseok's face, he can't work it out either. Cute.

Namjoon begins to spin the ball cage once more. The small numbered balls rattle against one another as they fight to escape, until one eventually wins.

"21," you declare. "Never have I ever... been walked in on by my housemate."

Taehyung and Danbi both narrow their eyes at you - and your little grin only serves to prove that they're right to think it's aimed at them.

The horrors of New Year's Day still live in your mind rent-free. You don't think you'll ever be able to forget the image of Taehyung darting across your living room stark-bollock naked. You've seen freckles you never should have seen.

"What if your housemate heard you," Jimin asks. "Does that count?"

You and Namjoon deliberate for a moment, then decide that anything that gets more people drinking is positive. Tell him yes.

"Drink up, Gguk," Jimin teases across the room, earning himself a curt, but giggly 'Oh, fuck you' from his housemate. They've lived together for years, so it's hardly a surprise.

Thing is, you know Jimin to be a heavy sleeper. Know that you've gotten away with it pretty much every time you've hooked up with Jeongguk in his apartment. His room is against the living room, but it's across the apartment from Jimin's room. Even times in his bathroom have been masked by running water and the promise of Jimin's hangover keeping him knocked out.

Jimin doesn't tell you to drink.

An ache blooms in your chest in a way you don't really understand.

"Oh actually, in that case," Danbi speaks up, pulling you from your pitiful thoughts, as she pours out a fresh shot and passes it over to you. "You too."

"When?!" you exclaim, previous ponderings of Jeongguk's sex life fading into the abyss.

"Our walls are so thin," she laughs - and you know this to be true. "I've heard horrors."

"Oh, get fucked," you laugh, taking the shot regardless, deliberately not focusing back on Jeongguk.

Probably best.

The way he's looking at you right now would make you spiral; stare hard, jaw tense. He looks down at the table and shakes himself out of it before anyone can notice it. Stupid thing to get worked up about. He knows this. Refuses to let his misplaced emotions ruin the evening.

By the time someone calls bingo, you've lost track of everything - who's done what, which numbers have been called, quite literally all the important stuff.

Still, Taehyung takes his victory like a champ. Makes a speech.

Slurs, as he says, "I'd like to thank my beautiful girlfriend-" hiccups "- And say a very merry fuck you to all of my best friends. I love you."

And then he proceeds to dance, in a way no one expected, and nobody understands. He sort of looks like a cross between a 90-year-old man who occasionally transforms into a pole dancer - things he's learned from Danbi, no doubt.

Everyone watches on with mild horror, but nobody stops him. Jimin films it. In the morning, Taehyung will realise it's been viewed a couple of thousand times on the TikTok account that Jimin has never posted anything on before - but right now, you're all capable of making bad decisions.

Everyone, except for Yoongi and Seoyeon. Already pretty much stolen by drunken slumber, Yoongi carries her bridal-style back to their room in one of the outer houses, and you watch on with Danbi and Nabi cooing at just how sweet they are together.

Nabi knows full well the boys would draw moustaches on her if she fell asleep, and Danbi knows that Taehyung will be the one to fall asleep first if his little dancey-dance is anything to go by. You think about Jeongguk. Wonder if you'd become his responsibility.

"Oh, give over," Danbi laughs when you say you'd be left well alone. "Gguk'd probably worry you were dead and start doing CPR, or something stupid like that."

Nabi laughs. Agrees. "He'd get you on his back and Naruto-run you to the house. Probably land you both in the hospital."

Giggling at the stupidity of it all, you can't help but let the residual stardust in your heart burn. Glancing over at him, you wonder which scenario would be more likely to come true. When he feels your eyes on him, and looks up to meet them with a smile, you decide that you wouldn't mind either of them. Memories made with Jeongguk are things to be cherished, regardless of how stupid they may be.

It's why you ask him to come with you when you head over to the house you're staying in to grab a jacket. The air cools significantly at night still, and your little summer dress really isn't offering you enough protection from the chill.

"I like the dress," he says quietly as he sits on your bed while you rummage around for a jacket.

Holds his hands out for you to take - and when you do, he pulls you back to where you belong, between his spread legs.

Jeongguk looks you up and down as best he can when you're in such close proximity. Ends up just looking at your lips instead. Strokes your hip with the pad of this thumb.

"Pretty, pretty star, aren't you?"

Your eyes drop as your cheeks begin to flame ever so sweetly. Compliments from Jeongguk are nothing new, but they're never quite like this.

"Hmm?" He whispers, a little lopsided grin forming on his face when he realises how bashful you're being. "What's got you shy, huh?"

He really has to ask?

"Not shy," you hum sweetly. Dust make-believe lint away from his shirt. "Was just trying to figure out if that was dust or dandruff."

Rolling his eyes, he just says, "Fuck you, Byeol. My scalp is, like, a gift from the gods. Never had dandruff a day in my life, even when I bleached it."

"Should bleach it again," you tell him just to continue the deflection from your own awkwardness.

"Think you'd like it?" He asks.

"Not really into blondes," you lie. "Would be better for us if you repulsed me a little bit more than you already do."

"You'd be into me even if my head was shaved," Jeongguk snorts.

Ruffling your fingers in his hair, you shake your head. Smirk, and give him those eyes you always pretend to not realise you give him, before turning away to head for the door. "Nah. Need something to hold onto."

"You're filth, Disco Ball," he calls after you.

Looking back over your shoulder as you reach the door, the swish and flick of your ponytail matching the skirt of your summer dress, you're well aware that you're flirting. Well aware you shouldn't be flirting. Well aware that you shouldn't say the next few words, and yet you just can't seem to help yourself.

"You love it."

Jeongguk says nothing. Purses his lips. Fails to hide his smile, or formulate any response before you're already heading through the common area of the house and for the front door. He's damned if admits it, damned if he denies it. Silence in the space of truth is far safer, he thinks.

Following as you head back to the main house, you talk nonsense. The stars watch on with a fond sparkle, waves crashing ever so softly against the shore.

By the time you're back at the house, everyone has migrated to the sitting room, and Namjoon and Nabi have just finished a rendition of Finesse on the home-noraebang system.

Lights off, a couple of lamps and disco bulbs are the only thing providing any light, dappling you all in the most whimsical colours, as if you really are in a noraebang.

Jeongguk watches on with a quiet smile as you and Danbi enthuse over which song to sing next.

Neither of you are able to remember the name of any song ever released, apparently, and instead have resorted to tapping through random lettings into the machine and seeing if something tickles your fancy.

Currently, you're scrolling through artists that begin with 'C', and you can't help but fixate a little bit when you scroll down to Charlie Puth.

He's not your favourite - something about him just irks you - but you know Jeongguk loves him. Know that if you and Danbi sing one of his songs, it'll put a smile on Jeongguk's face. That he'll watch on from the sofas with a giggle, and probably sing along, too. Knowing the boys, you half think they all will.

And so you wave your arm in front of you as Danbi continues pressing the down button, and say, "That one! The duet with Selena."

One of Danbi's many blessings is the way she seems to retain every song she's ever heard in her brain. Even if a song she doesn't know is chosen, she can usually pick it up.

And so, even though it wouldn't be her first pick, she's more than happy to oblige. Clicks through, as Taehyung walks into the room with the final jug of premade starfuckers. Wisely, he's also got a big bottle of water tucked beneath his arm, but you doubt you'll be having much of that, in all honesty.

"I'll be Charlie," Danbi offers, knowing that her register is a little lower than yours - not that either of you can actually sing well. In fact, you half think the boys might have to leave the room. Singing really isn't a strength that belongs to either of you, but it is also what makes it so much fun.

You avoid turning to look at Jeongguk as the instrumental starts, the multi-coloured disco light shining on you both like you really are fully-fledged pros. Naively, you think you can get away with a glance in the mirror that's standing in the corner of the room - only to find a pair of fond eyes staring back at you.

Immediately, you look away. It's so embarrassing to be caught, regardless of how many times Jeongguk has locked eyes with you in mirrors. In the gym during those early days, in his bedroom, in his lounge, bars, bathrooms - ever-present. Always there. Like a pair of cosmic entities, you're still orbiting one another.

You're on course for collision, and it'll be catastrophic.

The inevitable calamity of your pairing is disregarded as Danbi gets into the lyrics, and you're pleased she's just as terrible as she always is. Gets everyone laughing, and singing along. It's Jeongguk's voice that holds your focus - and the way he stops singing when Danbi reaches the pre-chorus.

Don't wanna know,

It's odd, you think. The pre-choruses are always fun.

What kind of dress you're wearing tonight.

But then you stop singing, too.

If he's holding onto you so tight, the way I did before.

And then you're a little bolder in the way you let your eyes land in the mirror. Accept the way his eyes are already on you, lips parted ever so slightly, brows hard as he contemplates thoughts you don't want to let yourself imagine.

Jeongguk is in your head. The touch of his soft hands against your hips. The way he had declared you to be a pretty, pretty star bouncing around your skull. The fondness of his eyes on yours in the sanctuary of a private room.

It's so stupid . It was just a compliment. It really doesn't mean anything more than what it exactly expressed - and yet you wonder if Jeongguk is listening to the lyrics a little too intently. If he's thinking about you how you thought about him during the final round of bingo; with someone else.

You don't let yourself dwell on it. Danbi's chorus is finishing, and you've got lines to belt. Can't be letting your drunk brain get wrapped in nonsense that really doesn't make a difference.

Danbi forgets the concept of a duet, and continues to sing full pelt into the mic during Selena's part, but you don't mind. The pair of you sing at one another in such an aggressive manner that you can't help but giggle.

Every now and then I think you might want me to come show up at your door.

Jeongguk watches you a subtle smile on his lips. Wonders if you realise just how awful your singing is, and how volume doesn't negate a total lack of tone.

But I'm just too afraid that I'll be wrong.

Despite the fact you do sound like a drowning cat, there's something about this line that makes him feel a little something more than just bemusement. Previous uncomfortable thoughts of you with someone else echo in his mind.

He can't work out if there are signals that he's missing. Knows you've been working on your fears together, and quite successfully at that, but wonders which new ones could have evolved since you first wrote out the birds.

Neither of you are the people you were back then. Jeongguk thinks you're both better for it - but you're not perfect. Not by a country mile.

But perfection is for Hollywood stars, not the actual, living, breathing manifestation of the cosmic entities. It's your flaws that make you shine, and so maybe small fears are okay. If you've got someone to hold your hand throughout them all, then you'll never really need to be afraid again.

If you've done one thing right in your lifetime, it's befriending Jeongguk.

He's brought a richness to your life that you don't think you've ever known before. A year on since your first introduction, and it feels like this is exactly where you're supposed to be.

So you ignore the weightiness of your pre-chorus lyrics. Push the thoughts of Hayun out of your mind when you sing about another woman. She can only ruin your mood if you let her.

In the darkness of a room lit only by party lights, surrounded by friends, mediocre pop hits and the laughter of the ones you love, you never want to lose moments like these.

Finishing off on a particularly horrifying note, you and Danbi are the first to call bullshit when the noraebang system gives you a score of 63.

"Fuck you!" Danbi calls into the mic. "We were perfect!"

"You just don't know talent when you hear it," you second, middle finger pointed upwards, directed at the plastic box full of wires.

"Biased! Tone deaf!" Danbi insults the machine, just for good measure, then hands the mic over to whoever wants to go next, but warns. "It doesn't know what it's on about!"

Jimin hops up instantly. Tells the boys that they have to join. Refuses to tell them what they'll be singing - but makes sure they close their eyes until the instrumental starts.

There's laughter amongst the boys that just glows and illuminates the room. Opening their eyes, they instantly get themselves into a little formation, Jimin in the central role.

The look on his face is one of unbridled success. This is exactly what he was after.

Yourself, Danbi and Nabi watch on with great amusement as Shinhwa's Perfect Man begins to belt out of the speakers, and the boys start their rendition with fucking choreography. Practised shit. Learnt .

The three of you giggle at the sight in front of you, completely bemused.

Jimin is pitch-perfect taking the lead, and the rest of the boys share a mic between them, passing it around every now and again. You can tell it's not the first time they've ever done this, and truth be told, you'd like to know when the first time was - what on earth prompted them to learn a full routine?!

Cheering them on, you and the girls play the ultimate role of cheerleaders - and when Jimin strips off towards the end? Oh, you've never screamed louder for a man. There are smiles on the faces of quite literally every single person in the room.

Or at least there is, until the noraebang machine grades them, and you think Jimin might just throw it out of the window.

"SIXTY-TWO?!" He yells. "Sixt- oh, this is unbelievable! Sixty-fucking-two?!"

"Losers," Danbi teases the boys, who are finding the whole thing hilarious - but also begin to take offence, too.

"It's wrong!" Taehyung begins to insist, too. "We are perfect men."

How on earth they scored a point less than you will remain a mystery until your dying days, you're sure of it - but for now, it's fun to tease them.

As Jeongguk takes the seat beside you on the sofa, you get a little more comfortable. Bring your knees to your chest, and then lean into his relaxed recline. His breath is a little heavier thanks to his dancing, lungs heaving ever so slightly, skin warm.

You speak quietly to him beneath pandemonium unfurling.

"Since when are you a K-pop trainee?" you say with a teasing smile.

Jeongguk just nudges you away, then pulls you back, his drunk smile so pretty beneath purple lights currently dancing around the room. So pretty. So perfect. So deserving of a little kiss for a job well done.

"Eyes up here," he whispers, still grinning. "Why? Did you like it?"

"Fuck you," you reply to his first statement, and take one last glance at his dewy lips, which he licks, before toying with his lip ring in the way he does that always drives you a little bit insane.

"Now? B, our friends are here," he flirts quietly before you can answer his questions. There's a certain sin to the way he looks at you after a couple of drinks, and it always gets you thinking about the way he worships you like a saint beneath the sheets. Gets you a little desperate; needy for a touch you know you shouldn't love as much as you do. "A little decorum, please."

And so once more, you just say 'fuck you' with a giggle - but then you're letting out a small yelp as Jeongguk drags you to your feet, grabbing the mics from Jimin, who is still cursing out the machine.

Your friends cheer you on while you accept two shots of fuck-knows what from Taehyung, while Jeongguk loads up a song. He doesn't consult you first, and you don't care to be consulted, either way. You're so drunk that anything will do. So is he - but he picks this one deliberately: Replay by SHINee.

Picks it, 'cause every time he hears it, he thinks of you. Wants to sing it with you, 'cause he's too timid to sing it at you. This gives him a little plausible deniability. Smart, even when he's steaming, Jeongguk is pleased when he sees you smiling at the screen.

It's a break-up song, but that's not really why he chose it. Chose it 'cause he remembers the way you, Danbi and Hoseok fuckin' lit up one evening towards the start of your friendship with him when it came on in Dionysus.

Reminds him of how the lyrics bemoaned other guys looking at the singer's pretty Noona, and how he'd sung along quietly by the bar, glancing over to you discreetly - only to earn himself a whip from a tea towel thanks to Yeonjun.

See, Jeongguk has never been discreet a day in his life when it comes to you. Is realising this much later than he should have done - but is already fuckin' serenading you in front of all of your friends, as if he didn't realise they'd all totally know what he's doing.

You're completely unsurprised that Jeongguk somehow seems to know the dance to this one, too.

You do not, but you also don't need to because Jeongguk is playing the role of a devoted, love-drunk fool perfectly. Gestures towards you with every beat of the song.

The real pièce de résistance?

When Taehyung and Jimin join as fucking backup dancers to the bridge and final chorus.

At this point, you take a seat next to Danbi on the sofa, and the pair of you belt the lyrics into your shared mic, though half of the words are replaced with your drunk giggles instead. Holding out your hand, you beckon for Nabi to come and join you. She happily obliges you, and the three of you are the perfect recipients of the boys and their little performance.

Hoseok and Namjoon are half invested, half busy animatedly chatting about something else instead. You leave them be. Think they look quite cute.

The boys in front of you, however, are a picture-perfect idol group, even if they are rat-arsed, and a little rusty on the old dance moves. Somehow their coordination is spot on, and it just raises even more questions.

You're still laughing when the score comes through and the boys are too busy congratulating themselves on a job well-done to notice it either.

Still holding the mic, Jeongguk holds his hand out for you to join him again.

"Sorry," he laughs. "We'll do something properly this time - your choice."

And even though it is your choice, you pick something that you know will be right up his alley. Wanna do something he likes, because seeing him with a smile on his face is maybe your favourite thing in the world.

"Oh, banger," he beams as the song loads up, and you're pleased to have chosen well.

"Young Money," you start, then replace Justin's name with that of your best friend and gesture towards him. "Jungkooooook!"

He takes the role of Justin Bieber so seriously that you can't help but laugh. Smoulders .

"Show you off," he gestures towards you as the song begins. "Tonight I wanna show you off."

The pair of you dance around, both singing, not really caring for the lines you're supposed to take. Really do party like it's 3012 tonight.

Moments like these - trapped between the unadulterated joy of what it's like to be young, and the heavy understanding that the people around you will be with you until you're old - are what life is for. You've sung in countless noraebangs, and consumed even more countless drinks - but this? Here? Right now? Tonight?

This is one night you'll remember for the rest of your life. Perhaps not the specifics, and perhaps the alcohol will ravage your memories, but in 5, 10, 20 years, you'll feel just as fond about this evening as you feel about it right now.

Not just for Jeongguk, but for all of your friends. For the unwavering amusement that comes with being in a group that just gets each other, despite any differences. There's a safety and serenity here that is rare to come by. You're lucky.

And yet all of these complex and heavy emotions fizzle away to simple joy.

Jeongguk's hand snakes around your waist at some point or another, and you know you're dancing a little too closely in front of everyone else.

Not a single person cares. They just cheer you on. Will be dancing in just the same ways when it's their turn.

The fact that you took the role of Selena in your earlier duet with Danbi isn't lost on anyone, as Jeongguk gestures towards you when you sing, "Gotta keep an eye out for Selena."

The whole thing is ridiculous. The song, the way you and Jeongguk are so into it, the way you're acting if a little bit of free space in the sitting room is a stage in front of thousands.

Arm around your waist, Jeongguk pulls you a little closer as you finish Nicki's verse. Your arm slinks around his neck - and your friends go absolutely feral . Sharing just one mic, eyes on one another, there's no denying that your bodies are well-acquainted. It's in the way they move together so effortlessly, his hips a little too telling as they roll to beat of the song.

Body rock; I wanna see your body rock.

Oh, it's dastardly. Sinful. Who do you think you're fooling?!

'Cause all I need is a beauty and a beat, who can make my life complete.

A beauty and a beat? Yeah. When he looks at you, Jeongguk knows in this moment he's got both .

The way friends cheer you on would suggest they're very much aware of the fact Jeongguk has, by all metrics, seen your body rock. Neither of you care for subtleties. You're drunk, and it's your nearest and dearest around you. Who gives a fuck?

The way he belts the final chorus - it's aaaall 'bout yooouu - just solidifies the fact he's wasted behind a bar. Should be on stages, in some capacity. Calls you a star, but fuckin' hell - he's the real one.

Earning a much more respectable score - 83 - you and Jeongguk are given a standing ovation as you laugh all the way back to your previous seats.

Bundled up next to Jeongguk on the sofa, Danbi is on your other side.

Taehyung takes centre stage. Does that weird little dance again. Starts a song that nobody recognises at first, until the chorus kicks in - " Because you're gorgeous, I'd do anything for you" - and he turns to dramatically serenade Danbi à la Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You. Different song, granted, but same exact vibe.

A one-man show, Taehyung is every bit the charismatic casanova. Even gets to his knees in despair, just so that Danbi knows how tragically gorgeous she is.

And yet despite the showmanship, it's Jeongguk humming along quietly to the song that has you feeling all sorted of fucked up. The way he nudges against you so subtly that nobody in the darkened room notices? The way he sings softly beneath his breath, right into your ear? The kiss against your hair that is fleeting everyone will miss it?

Oh, it's torture .

When Namjoon and Hoseok take the mics and do their best rendition of Epik High's Born Hater, everyone loses their shit. Taehyung is the best hype man you think you've ever seen - part of you thinks he might actually steal the mic at one point. Thankfully, he grabs an empty soju bottle and uses that instead.

They're the first - and only - 100-point score of the evening. You're pretty sure Seoyeon and Yoongi's early night will have been disturbed by the shriek of congratulations from you all upon the big shiny score on the screen. All far too drunk to really care for volume control, the party is far from over.

In fact, it's only just getting started. For all the talk of your house being the people who would be partying the hardest, you think it's pretty evenly split.

Danbi and Taehyung are, predictably, disgustingly cute together - but you know your best friend. A few drinks in her and she'll become trouble.

You're proven right when you're all sitting on the floor, taking a break from the home-noraebang session.

Still drinking, talking about nonsense, Taehyung is twiddling with his empty soju bottle turned noraebang mic on the carpet. He's spinning it without much thought, never really letting it stop - but when it does?

Yeah, Danbi is in one of those moods.

"On Jimin?" Danbi exclaims with a gasp, casting her eyes down to the bottle as it comes to a stop, the cap-end facing a very confused Jimin.

Taehyung looks just as confused for a second. Follows her gaze - and then realises what she's insinuating. "Oh, God. No. Absolutely not!"

He's not about to play spin the fucking bottle - especially not with his friends when his girlfriend is right beside him.

Jimin immediately takes offence, much in the same way he did when Jeongguk refused to fuck him. If even his friends won't get with him, what chance does he have?

"What's wrong with me?! Why wouldn't you?" He wails, flopping down to the floor from his seated position. "First Gguk, now you?"

"I'm not kissing you."

"Why not?" He whines. Doesn't really want to kiss Taehyung, but is offended that Taehyung doesn't want to kiss him. Rude.

"Because!" Taehyung says, hoping that it's reason enough.

For Jimin, it absolutely is not reason enough.

"This is so mean. I'd kiss you if the bottle told me to," he assures his friend.

Danbi, in classic, troublesome, Danbi style eggs it on. Says to Taheyung, "I'd kiss DB."

"Okay firstly," you laugh, looking at her with shock. "Since when the fuck have you ever called me DB ?!"

"It's just your name, now," Jimin interrupts. "Accept it."

"No," you don't bother humouring him, but are still finding the whole thing incredibly funny. "And secondly, we've already kissed a bunch of times, so it doesn't matter."

Jeongguk and Taehyung both chirp in surprise at this. Look at their respective girlies with little confusion, and are both met with a collective, "What?"

"I mean, do guys not kiss their besties?" Nabi interjects from across the circle, which also makes Jeongguk whip his head up towards her. You know the confusion directed at you is now directed towards her, and her bestie.

And it pisses you off - because you're drunk, and thoughts are irrational, and even though Jeongguk is well within his right to maybe be surprised, you think he's stupid for caring about where Hayun's mouth has been.

He doesn't care. Not like that. You know this.

Know that any embers that had still been burning for her when you first met him have well and truly been put out.

You're the one who cares. You're the one who is being stupid.

But isn't everyone a little irrational when they've had a few too many?

Reaching over to the bottle, you turn to look at him, and just say, "It's like, so normal; kissing your friends."

It's not like you ever kiss Danbi when you're sober. Only ever when you're drunk, and not really ever with much thought behind it.

Granted, you haven't done it in years. Was more of a thing you'd do during your reckless uni years.

Once you met Seokjin, your behaviour on nights out changed quite significantly. Matured. And after him? Well, people would be lucky to get a kiss from you, full-stop.

Your words are layered, though. It's so normal, kissing your friends.

He says nothing. Keeps his mouth shut. Tense. Looks at you as you turn away, and refuses to look elsewhere. Knows exactly what you meant.

What we do? It's normal. Nothing special. Don't get it twisted.

Spinning the bottle on the carpet, you're the one asking for trouble, now. Are committed to the bit. Want the thoughts of you kissing someone else in his head, purely cause you don't want the thoughts of Hayun in there instead.

It's a strange sensation that sears through your veins. One that you don't often feel; one that you hate. Makes you feel all green. Bitter.

You don't let it show. Instead, as the bottle slows to a stop, you're a bit giggly. It's the alcohol influencing your behaviour; thoughts not as clear as they usually are. Your intentions differ from the oncoming outcome. The dots of any hurt that could be caused don't join with the dots of your pre-existing sour emotions. The lines are wibbly wobbly.

Jeongguk knows that drinking is a big factor in your boldness, now. Also knows you've got total free will. You can do what you like. He won't stop you.

If anything, he should be proud of this. Of your willingness. Of the fact you'll kiss someone without a care in the world.

Yes, it's different to kissing someone in bed, but it's still a kiss. Still something he thinks you wouldn't have done this time last year. It's progress, albeit at the expense of the progression of whatever the fuck your relationship is these days.

He watches on with a stern gaze as the bottle finishes its final spin.

Directly across from you, it points to Nabi.

Poetic, almost, how you were concerned about Jeongguk's thoughts of Hayun kissing her.

She tilts her head a little, as if to ask, "Shall we?"

You repeat her motion, and remind the boys, "It's really not a big deal."

Jeongguk bites back a remark he could make about you, and kissing, and it being the biggest fuckin' deal he's ever known.

Yet he's silent as the rest of the group egg you and Nabi on. It's juvenile, how neither of you properly stand to cross the circle, but instead both lean forward, supporting yourselves with your hands and knees until you reach the centre.

He's thankful for one thing only, and it's the fact you're wearing a teeny tiny pair of shorts beneath your dress. Would have been catastrophic otherwise. Already kinda is.

There's a subtle curve to your spine. One that Jeongguk knows well. Doesn't notice if Nabi has a similar feline posture, for he's only focused on you.

And even as you and Nabi get far closer than you've ever been before, giggling like a pair of kids getting up to no good, it's the loose grip that Jeongguk has on your ankle that really has your attention.

It's a warning.

Have your fun, his touch tells you. But not too much fun.

You could pull your leg further forward. Could rid it of his grip.

But you don't. You stay shackled to him like a prisoner of crimes you're yet to commit.

There's no build-up, nor anticipation of the meeting of your lips with Nabi's. No trepidation. No nerves.

Admittedly, there's a slight hesitation. A couple of giggles. A little excitement, sure. She's gorgeous after all - the kind of girl anyone would be lucky to kiss. You've thought from the get-go that she's attractive, but have also never spent time with her when Jeongguk wasn't there, too.

No matter how pretty a face is, his will always be your favourite.

Even as she presses down into the kiss, lips gentle and plump, quite unlike Jeongguk's, it's the soft stroke of his thumb over your ankle that cracks through you like a volt of electricity.

Over as quickly as it started, you and Nabi both come away from the kiss with smiles, and coy looks upon your faces.

"See," you tell Taehyung, who is staring in disbelief, as you come to sit back beside Jeongguk. Are sad to lose his touch, but daren't look at him, because you don't want to know how he's feeling. What you just did was selfish, and you know it. "It's not a big deal."

Danbi nods. Takes the reins of the conversation. Agrees with you, but also caught the look on Jeongguk's face as it happened, and realises that maybe she should be careful about what she wishes for.

Decides that Spin the Bottle should remain a relic of cursed high school parties. Has no space at an event like this. Instead, she reaches for the deck of cards on the side table and gets to arranging them in a circle. Bottle still in the middle, she swaps it out for an empty glass.

Jeongguk gets to his feet. Is only going to grab another drink, but doesn't voice it to you. Doesn't voice it to anyone.

Danbi glances over to you - and unlike Jeongguk, she is good at being discreet. Tilts her sharply, subtly. Silently says, " Go ."

You relent for a moment, 'cause you know you're in trouble - but also know that's exactly why you need to follow him.

The lights are out in the kitchen, illuminated only by the lamps pouring in through the arch from the living room. The fridge is open, and Jeongguk is hidden by the door that he opens as soon as he notices you entering the room.

Really did just come for a drink, but also doesn't really wanna talk to you right now. Doesn't really understand the way he's feeling. It's not jealousy. That's one feeling he thinks he's got a good grasp on. It's something, though. Not nothing.

Coming to stand in the corner of the counters, you're also obscured from anyone entering the room. The fridge door acts as a shield.

And so Jeongguk closes it.

Turns to face you, but doesn't walk towards you. Is silent.

The shrouded darkness of the corner you've backed yourself into hides the way your heart is beating a mile a minute. The shadows obscure the look on Jeongguks face but you know him well enough now to know that his jaw is tense.

Shoulder silhouetted, you can see they are, too. Scatches as he finally asks, "Did you have your fun?"

You're silent.

He looks as if he's about to say something, and then just sighs.

Placing the bottle in his hand down on the counter, and there's a clatter that you assume is a bottle opener going with it. His sighs. Relaxes his shoulders.

Shakes his head. Considers for a second, then husks, "Fuck it."

The gap between you both is closed by Jeongguk, his hand cupping your jaw as he presses his liquor-laced lips down into yours. Has your body pressed close to his, then deepens the closeness and he does the same with the kiss. Pulls away, but only briefly. Only to give you a chance to stop it.

But you just pull him back. Needily get his lips on yours. Mirror his body language. Are desperate to feel his desire; begging for him to want you as much as your drunk mind wants him .

His kisses are rough. Aggressive. Assertive.

Until all very suddenly, they soften. The exhale of breath from his nose is warm on your cheek, both of you unable to properly regulate the oxygen you need. The issues had been fast and fleeting, but they'd been a force to be reckoned with. He rarely kisses you like that; without sweetness, or reservation.

He'd kissed you with purpose, and you damn well know it.

Is still holding your jaw as he leans his forehead against yours, noses nudging ever so gently.

"You gotta stop kissing my fuckin' friends, B," he says. " Our friends. You gotta stop."

It's not like you make a habit of it. You've kissed Jimin, like, once - but you know exactly what he means. Say nothing. Just nod. Let him kiss you again. Tenderly, now.

He's slow as he withdraws. Keeps you trapped between his body and the cabinets as he reaches behind you for an empty glass. Remains in position as he twists his upper body to swing the fridge door open, and grabs the filtered water jug.

The light around him from the fridge casts a halo, befitting of a man such as him. Heaven-sent, is Jeon Jeongguk, and you've been blessed to have known him during your time on this earth. You might not get so lucky in your next life. Need to stop taking it for granted.

It's funny, 'cause he's thinking the exact same thing about you.

The refrigerator light gets you sparkling. Puts all those stars back in your eyes. Ones he needs to stop stealing, 'cause you deserve to be as shiny as you possibly can be.

He comes around you like a magpie, and takes your shine, he thinks.

Doesn't realise you've been glowing ever since you met him because of him.

You were dull, before. The glitter was only ever a facade.

Yet it's permanent now - or a least it will be, until your star lover decides chasing a shooting star is a losing game.

"Here," he says as he passes you the water. "You're fucked."

You take a sip, then pass it back and say, "Here. You're fucked."

This does at least make him smile. Alleviates some of the discomfort that had temporarily brewed between you both. He nods. "Yeah. I am."

Pulling himself away, he holds his hand behind himself for you to take. Doesn't wanna fight with you. Just wants you two to be good. Doesn't care for dumb, petty fights. Knows that deep down, you don't either.

"C'mon," he hums quietly, as your fingers lace between his. "Let's go back."

He deliberately leaves the drink he was getting behind on the counter. Has had enough tonight. Doesn't tell you as such, but is pleased that you seem content sipping your water instead of reaching for more drinks during the next game. Just giggle along with whatever is happening, the mood between you both far easier than it had been a few moments previously.

Communication, it would seem, is key. Jeongguk appreciates the fact that you sought him out, even if you didn't really say anything. Knows that it was a way for you to let your defences down, something of which he isn't sure you'd have done a few months ago.

Then again, he's also not sure he'd have felt so irrationally jealous a few months ago, either.

But you're learning. Both of you are. Rome wasn't built in a day, and Jeongguk's just glad you're getting your hands dirty with the rubble and bricks of your relationship traumas, too. Are rebuilding yourself, and in turn, something new. Somewhere he thinks could make for a lovely home, one day.

One by one, back in the living room, yawns spread contagiously. It's Hoseok first, then Namjoon. Across the circle, Jeongguk follows suit. When you begin to yawn, he strokes your back.

"Bed?" he asks quietly, to which you nod.

He nods back. "I'll go get some water to take back to the house. Want any snacks?"

You shake your head, unable to verbalise a response thanks to the yawn taking hold of you. Dawn will be breaking soon, you're sure. Yoongi and Seoyeon went to bed hours ago. All you need is a really good sleep.

As the four of you meander back up to your house, Nabi and Jimin nattering, while Jeongguk hangs back a little bit, you find yourself distracted.

Arms crossed, all you can think about is Jeongguk, and his lips on yours in the kitchen, and how unbelievably reckless it was. Anyone could have walked in.

But perhaps that would have been okay.

Turning to check he's still walking towards the house, a smile settles on your face where a frown once was. Phone held up to the sky, Jeongguk is taking pictures of the moon. Zooming in as far as he can, and getting frustrated every time his still-drunk hands wobble a little too much.

"Tomorrow," you call over softly - and like a dog hearing a whistle, he doesn't hesitate to walk your way. "We can go star-gazing. Get pictures."

He nods. Comes to stand by you. Carries on walking, taking your hand as he does so. Sounds sleepy as he mumbles, "M'kay."

By the time you arrive back at the house a few minutes later, Jimin and Nabi are still nattering in the communal area. With your rooms being on different floors, and both of you desperately fighting alcohol-induced yawns, neither you nor Jeongguk can be bothered with the hassle of sharing a bed tonight.

You retire to separate rooms, and both hate it.

There's an emptiness, you think. One that only he can fill. The room is dark, but a little light sneaks in from the harbour, and the lamps that remain lit all night to keep boats away.

Catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, it's your glitter that acts like harbour lights, you think. A warning to never get too close.

Jeongguk did it anyway.

Thoughts like these plague your mind as you toss and turn, failing to get comfy. There are enough pillows. The duvet is perfectly nice. The mattress is fine. There's just something missing.

Someone .

But fuck- you don't need him. Depending on a man is something you never want to do, especially not for something as simple as falling asleep.

Even though you're trying to rid your brain of his presence, you find yourself thanking him as you hop out of bed and head to your suitcase. If there's one thing that will exhaust you, it's a good orgasm.

Given how sleepy his eyes were prior to you saying your farewells, all puffy and a little bloodshot, you don't imagine he'll hear a peep - and if he does, it'll likely just become a strange addition to whatever bizarre dream he'll no doubt tell you he had in the morning.

Rummaging around a little, you look for that one final thing he ensured you added to the suitcase. Find some lingerie first that you definitely didn't add to the pile - the same ones you packed for Busan just to get a rise out of him - and scoff. Presumptuous mother fucker .

Eventually, you find your rabbit. A dildo-vibrator hybrid, it works wonders. The translucent black silicone is always a little cold to touch - never like the real thing - but it fills a hole, for lack of a better term. Does the job. Does things a cock can't do - but it can never make you feel like he does.

The house is quiet, now. Nabi and Jimin retired to their own beds a good quarter of an hour ago. You know that Jimin will be out like a light, and Nabi is the furthest room from yours. The only worry you have is Jeongguk beneath you - but so what? Nothing he hasn't heard before.

Still, you only dare turn the vibrator on to the lowest mode.

Wearing just your panties, Jeongguk's shirt that you'd stolen now discarded on the floor, you run the toy over your clothed cunt. Let the sensation overcome any other physical manifestation of your feelings.

It hums ever so quietly, a hushed moan trapped in your throat as you work your hips up into the vibration. Other-wordly in how it makes you feel, there's no point trying to keep dignified.

Ridding yourself of your panties, you lie on your back, legs spread. Tease your entrance with the head of the cock-shaped dildo. Sharply inhale as you press against your hole - but you're not ready, yet.

The feeling isn't enough.

You need thoughts too.

Thoughts of him. Of his body. Of the way he smiles whenever he sees you like this. How he'd tower over you. Line himself up. Press kisses to your lips. Down your throat. On your chest. How he'd take your nipples in his mouth, and suck them for hours if he could. How he'd tell you he's still an ass guy, even if sucking on your tits gets him so hard he could cum in 5 seconds flat whenever he does it.

Your dildo now sinks into your cunt with little resistance, the thoughts of Jeongguk seemingly enough to get you ready.

There's a slight burn. Friction. Evidence that you're not totally there yet. The alcohol has definitely affected it. Funny, how it never affects it when you're with Jeongguk. Have fucked him countless times after a few drinks with no issues.

No reason to have them now. The only difference is him.

It frustrates you.

You don't need a man. You don't .

Groaning, you rid yourself of your toy. Flick the switch to make sure it's off. Toss it down beside you and let it land with a thud on the mattress. Stare up at the ceiling and curse.

Reaching over for your phone, you're about to google methods of getting to sleep when you're both horny and unable to get yourself off, when a message pings through.

You wince before you even read it - and when you do read it? Well, you think you'd quite like to simply die.

JK: Round two?

Admittedly, it's better receiving it from him than it would from Jimin - but it's still mortifying to know that he could hear it.

You must still be drunk. It's the only thing that justifies such reckless abandon for your grace.

And it's also the excuse you'll use for the fact you send him back a message that simply says: My door is open.

Not even a minute later, Jeongguk says nothing as he enters your room. He's in his underwear and a shirt, but as soon as he shuts the door, he grabs the material by the nape of his neck, and rids himself of it. Is just in his Calvins, now. Just how you like him.

It's not like you greet him either, a blanket pulled up to cover your dignity, but you're both aware there's a heaviness to the air between you. Something unspoken. Something that will remain unsaid, because you're both scared to lose the weight of your own feelings.

Instead, he just grips the back of the chair by the vanity unit and turns it around. Sits. Is arrogant in how he looks at you, just like he was that night you got far too acquainted with his pull-up bar and favourite tie.

In his hand is something you can't quite make out.

Something about his gaze, and how it holds your own, makes it hard for you to speak. You fear you'll say the wrong thing. Fear he'll look away. Turns out, just as he suspects, you do have new fears - and they all pertain to him, or moreso a lack of him.

You play it safe. Nod towards his hand. Whisper, "Watcha got?"

"You said we shouldn't fuck," he reminds you with an arrogant smirk. Knows that this will drive you fuckin' insane. "Thought I should come prepared."

It's only when he holds it up that you realise he's holding a fucking fleshlight . Clear. Silicone.

"Holy shit," you breathe out. Have never actually seen one in the flesh - no pun intended - let alone see a man bold enough to use one in front of you.

"Remember how we used to watch each other get off?" he asks, unashamed - or just drunk. Doesn't wait for a reply. Just says, "Let's do that."

The way he's so convicted in his wants and desires - how he knows the parameters of your arrangement, yet bends the rules to fit his fucking whims - will never fail to amaze you. He's determined to get you coming undone, and that in and of itself is so unbelievably hot.

His body is hard to make out from the low lighting, but the ridges of his toned chest have you salivating. There's a sheen to his fingers - lube, you assume for the toy - and it spreads over his abdomen as he softly traces his fingertips over his body. Lightly touches himself. His small, hard nipples. Rasps a little.

Arousal, for him, isn't just simply his cock getting hard. He likes to engage his senses. S'why he likes fucking you so much. You're a treat for all five of 'em.

You're too far away to touch. To taste. To smell - and oh god, that's the one that gets him the most. Just wants to bury the tip of his prettily pointed nose in your hair, down the valley of your breasts, in your cunt. Pheremones are a wonderful thing, and the effect they have on Jeongguk can only be likened to a Class A substance. Pupils dilated, body and mind disconnected, he needs the high you give.

For now, he settles on sight and sound. Smirks when you gasp at the sight of what he's doing.

Eyes fixated on him, you watch on as Jeongguk grips the fleshlight and pushes it down ever so gently. He barely penetrates it. Just the tip. Grunts a little. Pulls it back up, so that the crown of his cock is kissing the entrance.

God, how you wish it was you. Want to feel that first intrusion of his cock inside you. How big he is; how well he always stretches you out. So intensely focused on him, you don't even really realise how you're toying with your chest.

Despite the shrouded darkness of the room, enough light is funnelling in through the curtains for you to clearly see his movements; his expressions.

Jaw slack, Jeongguk doesn't give a fuck about looking dignified. He knows there's no point. Doesn't want to pretend like you don't arouse him beyond the point of sane thoughts.

He thinks the same could be said for you.

"C'mon, B," he begs quietly. "Get yourself off for me."

His breathy moan as he pushes further into the toy only encourages you to do the same. Matching his desperately soft moans, you sink your rabbit inside yourself, and find any earlier resistance is gone. You don't need a man, but fuck . Jeon Jeongguk is an exception to the rule.

Filling yourself, it's nothing like the sensation that comes with Jeongguk - the warmth of his skin, the scent of his aftershave, the weight of his body on top of yours - but it is unlike anything else you've ever known as he looks across to you.

There's a smirk breaking on his lustful expression, sinful satisfaction that has you moaning as you penetrate yourself with the toy that he insisted you bring. Not much introspection is given to how you're pleasuring yourself; too focused on the way he's pleasuring himself.

Knees closing together, toes digging into the sheets, your hand is trapped between your thighs. It's a more natural state of being, you find. Gets your walls a little tighter. Feels better, even if it doesn't look as good. Whining a little as you build a pace, you're so wet that you can hear the way you're fucking yourself - and so can Jeongguk.

The lewd sounds of his cock fucking into the toy he's using slow a little. His laboured breaths become controlled. He's easing off the gas - not hitting the break, but definitely doing something.

"Since when have you been shy?" He teases you a little breathlessly. Holds the fleshlight to the base of his cock. Fills it. Keeps himself warm, laboured grunts catching in his throat as he stops himself from reaching the point of release. "Wider, baby," he pleads. "Nice and wide for me."

Pulling your knees apart, you display yourself like a fuckin' exhibition, and Jeongguk knows that you've art for him, indefinitely. Nights at galleries are pale in comparison to the way you put yourself on display for him.

How could he ever appreciate a painting unless it's the same pretty colours of your needy cunt? If the brush strokes don't match the hair that falls over your eyes as your lips part, soft moans escaping them? Music, too, for that matter is ruined for him. You sound better than anything he's ever heard on the radio.

"There you go," he husks as he begins to work the fleshlight up his shaft again. Watches you with no intent of ever looking away. He's fixed to you like glue. "That's it. Fuck. Yeah. That's it."

But you won't be content until he really is stuck to you like glue. Want him so close it's impossible to tell when he ends and you begin; impossible to comprehend how you ever could part.

He's not the only one with demands. Desires. You want him just as much as he wants you.

"Come closer," you say quietly.

"Yeah?" he teases. "Say please, baby."

"Fuck you."

He laughs, now. Finds something about your insatiable need to have him near, and your inability to play nicely at times, just so endearing.

"Cute," he smirks. Knows it'll probably irritate you. Patronises a little more, 'cause he's vying for you to have a reason to shut him up. Thinks maybe you'll choose kisses as a way to shush him. Hopes you will. "Needy, aren't you? Pretty, needy baby."

"Shut up," you laugh, the smile on your lips a product of his compliments, even if he is being a little bitch. Holding your hand out, you encourage him to join you on the bed. Give him what he wants, 'cause you know it'll give you what you want. " Please ."

You don't take your eyes off him as he stands, cock still snug in the toy that he'd really rather swap with your hands. Makes him a little shy.

"Stop looking at me, perv," Jeongguk says in a childish way that really doesn't fit the profile of a man like him - built like a god - as he's pleasuring himself for you for your satisfaction.

"Why?" you ask, pleased and purry now that the ball is in your court. "A little shy, there?"

"Fuck you," he smirks, coming to sit between your legs.

Your illicit thoughts of Jeongguk are always so much tamer than he actually is. You never know what's actually gonna come out of his mouth, and it makes fucking him so much more fun to indulge in.

It's not like he means to be vulgar. His brain is just too distracted by how fucking good this shit feels. His lips get loose and so does the concept of dignity. Has him mumbling all kinds of shit.

"God, I'll fuckin' die if you don't let me fuck you," he whines, one of his hands stroking up your thigh while the other wanks the toy up and down his thick cock. He's slow in his movements, wrist flicking gently, not wanting to himself up too much. Wants you to get there first.

Shaking your head, you knead one of your tits for his viewing pleasure as you continue to fuck yourself with the toy he insisted you bring.

"Told me to bring this for a reason, Gguk," you remind him. "No fucking."

"But you're so fucking wet," he moans. Wants to touch you. Know he can't.

You nod - then decide to cut him a little slack. Reach for the hand of his on your thigh. Bring it to the base of the rabbit, and let him take the reins.

"Fuck," he curses, as he pushes it up into you. Holds it in place. Flicks the switch that makes the little rabbit ears vibrate. Angles it just right so that they're fluttering against your swollen clit, the pleasure incomparable to anything else.

"Oh, shit," you whine as your body begins to writhe.

"You like this so much, don't you?" He confirms, and is pleased when you whine and nod your head. He pulls the toy back slightly, but angles it so that ears stay pressed against you before he fills you again. The lewd sound of it filling you is enough to drive anyone insane, he thinks.

"Pretty cunt," he says fondly, then leans forward a little. Gathers spit in his mouth, then slowly lets it drip onto your pussy. He knows you well. Has it landing just north of your clit. Grinds the ears up a little, and spreads it across your already messy pussy. "Pretty girl."

Gently fucking the dildo into you, Jeongguk can't help but feel a little jealous. He wants to know how you feel. How warm you are. How tight you'll get when you cum.

Instead, all he can do is watch as pleasure takes hold. You whine his name - "Yeah, baby?" - and push your head back into the pillows. Toes pointing, your legs begin to shake, and Jeongguk knows better than to change anything about what he's doing. Keeps the speed. Lets the ears flick against the clit that he so badly wants in his mouth.

"That's it," he keens. "All over this cock. Cum all over it."

Oh, how you wish it was his instead.

Because even though you do come, it doesn't satisfy you fully. Not how his cock does. Still amazing - but Jeongguk has ruined you. Is the only thing capable of making you cum how you deserve to cum. His cock, his mouth, his hands - doesn't matter what. Just matters that it's him.

Tapping his wrist as you shake a little, you tell him you're good. In all honesty, all you want now is to make him feel good.

Shutting off the vibrations, Jeongguk keeps you plugged. Is scared that you'll both let your stupid desires get the better of you, otherwise.

You're thinking the exact same thing - so reach down for his fleshlight. Want him to feel as good as you he made you feel.

Holding it flush against the mound of your pussy, you'll give him the next best thing to fucking you. A little simulation, almost. Basically the exact same.

Except it's not, 'cause Jeongguk is far too aware of the fact that he doesn't get the luxury of your cunt.

"Fuck it," you instruct him. "Fuck it like you fuck me."

There's something erotic about the way Jeongguk lines himself up with it at your request. Zero hesitation. Wanks himself, once, twice. Presses his tip against the tight entrance, and looks at you as he pushes into it. Grunts. Fills it. Begins to thrust a little. Picks a rhythm. Finds the position is perfect for letting his balls slap against your swollen clit, and is obsessed with the way you whine for him.

With you holding his toy in place, his hands are free - so they snake around your thighs and pull you closer with every thrust of his hips, as if he really is fucking you.

"Is it good?"

"Yeah. It's fuckin' good," he nods, leaning forward, resting an elbow on either side of your head as he continues to pump into the toy. "You're better, but it's good."

There's a simplicity to the way Jeongguk describes how he feels. It's straightforward. Honest.

"Pretend it's me," you encourage. "Is it tight? Wet?"

He nods. Practically filled the thing with lube before he ventured up to your room.

"Real fuckin' tight. You're wetter, though. I miss that. Fuck . Just once, baby. Once ," he begs, forgetting the fact that he very much knows fucking you is a bad idea. Presses wet, insatiable kisses to the underside of your jaw. Can barely string his words together. "Let me - fuck - feel you. Please ."

Funny, how his fear of rejection doesn't seem to exist when he's a few strokes away from an orgasm.

Or maybe it just doesn't exist around you. Either or. At the moment, they're one and the same.

Shaking your head, you pull him in for a soft meeting of your lips, his tongue sinking into your mouth, because he needs to be inside you in at least some capacity if he can't have your pussy. Hips thrashing in a bid to chase his high, Jeongguk knows you're not gonna give him what he wants. Knows that this is the closest he'll get.

Plausible deniability when your friends - or moreso just Jimin - ask, did you fuck?

Well, no, you'll be able to say, without lying. We didn't.

But as your body is moved in tandem with the timing of his thrusts, Jeongguk's grunts vibrate into your mouth as his body begins to tense, you know that you can't really describe this as anything other than fucking.

"Cum," you tell him - and then realise you still want it to be you he cums over. Cums for. Cums because of.

But Jeongguk takes that permission and runs with it before you can make any further bad decisions. Whimpers as he lets the walls that have been keeping him restrained come crashing down. His teeth find your neck as he grunts against your skin; his breath hot, the cum he's unloading in the silicone fuck toy even more so.

"That's it," you encourage, legs wrapping around his stuttering hips. "Fill that cunt for me, baby. Fill it up like it's mine."

He nods, his laboured breaths lost in your hair as he buries his head into the crook of your neck, as the final few spurts of his desire pump into the toy. The weight of his body is heavy on top of you, rising and falling with every contraction of his lungs.

Stroking his hair, you press a kiss to the top of his hair, and let out a soft giggle. It's too soon for post-nut clarity, and yet Jeongguk already doesn't wanna look you in the eyes after nutting in a fucking fleshlight.

Figuring as much, you make sure to praise him in the same way he usually does for you. "So hot, Gguk. So good. So cute ."

He smiles, now. Laughs a little, body spent. Grumbles into your neck. "Fuck off, B."

"What?" you tease, knowing that he's embarrassed. He needn't be. It's just a sex toy. He's the one who brought it along with him - surely he didn't think you'd have enough willpower to resist him over the weekend? Surely he had been anticipating this? "It's yours . We both know you've fucked it, like, a hundred times."

"Fuck offffff," he moans again, rolling off of you, the fleshlight slipping somewhere between you both now that no one is keeping it held in place. "That never happened."

Turning onto your front, you scoff. Reach down the bed to find the offending object. You want it for a reason - mainly 'cause you've never seen them up close, and are curious about how much it actually looks like a pussy, but also 'cause you have an idea that will make Jeongguk equal parts needy and disgusted, which honestly is what you're aiming for. You like it when he's conflicted over his desire. Makes his self-denial and subsequent weaknesses so much hotter.

"Put it down," he whines, as you bring it to the pillows. His forearm is covering his eyes, a pretty smile on his darling lips, piercing catching in the jetty lights that are intruding on your privacy.

You don't do what he tells you to do. Instead, you rest on your elbows, tits cushioning your body as you inspect it a little.

"Huh," you hum in surprise. Admittedly, it's not too far off. The silicone tube is clear, with ridges and grooves in the central canal for his pleasure, but the entrance is particularly inspired. Despite the clarity of the material, the shape isn't too far off from your own, especially when it's all pretty and puffy and aroused for him. There's a sheen to it; evidence of Jeongguk's lube, as a trail of his white cum leaks from the entrance.

Glancing over to him, you find his eyes on you. A little further up in the bed, he's looking down, and yet you're in the position of power. Whatever you do will only serve to make him want you more.

He doesn't tell you to put it down again. Just waits, breathlessly, to see what you'll do. Already has an idea. Knows what he wants to see, but won't ask for it 'cause it feels almost too vulgar.

But you know him well. Knows what gets him off. Know that even despite the fact he's just finished, there are ways to get him hard again - and as your tongue slowly flicks against the desecrated entrance, you know that this is one of them.

"Fuck," he husks quietly, not even meaning to do so. Lets one of his hands reach over to squeeze at the flesh of your ass as you get a little deeper with your exploration. Lick into it. Collect his cum on your tongue.

It's been a while since you've eaten pussy, too busy with Jeongguk to seek anyone else out, but it's like riding a bike. You never forget - and truth be told, you're not really doing anything that requires too much thought. You're putting on a show. Eating his cum, 'cause he deserves it.

His grip on your ass is hard, as he grunts, "You're fucking filth, b. So dirty ."

You giggle, pleased with the effect it's having on him - but then he's pulling you across to straddle his lap, toy discarded on your side of the bed as man handles you into position on top of his body.

Jeongguk pulls you in for a meeting of lips, teeth, tongue; all-consuming. Doesn't care to be neat. Doesn't care to be sweet. Wants to taste himself on your tongue - and when he does? Oh, he's celestial .

He moans. Curses. Accepts it when you hold his jaw, and encourage him to open his mouth. Nods as your lips purse. Lets his tongue flatten. Whines as you spit his cum onto his tongue - then decides you've had enough time in the driver's seat. Sinks his tongue back into your mouth; swaps his cum with you until it sort of just becomes obsolete.

He's not gonna fuck you, but he does get you positioned on top of his cock, pussy spread over his thick length as he ruts up against you. One hand on your hips, the other clasps your hands behind your back. Looks you dead in the eye as you whine for him.

Husks, "You're only in control when I let you be in control."

And then to prove his point, he gets you grinding against him until the point of another climax. Gets your body shaking as your pussy rubs over the top of his cock, without it ever penetrating you. The sensation is euphoric; skin on skin, just how you like it.

"That's it," he praises as your orgasm washes over you. Holds you as you come down a little breathlessly. Teases. "So cute. You love to cum for me, don't you, B?"

It's your turn to tell him to fuck off, now.

Rolling off him, both toys fall from your side of the bed and onto the floor with a soft thud. Neither of you cares for the noise. Jimin is out like a light, and Nabi is too far away to have really heard anything.

Breathlessly, you both look up at the ceiling. Jeongguk swears he can see stars - but it might just be the hangover that's already kicking in.

As he holds his hand out, you laugh. Give him a high five. "Nice work."

But you both agree that it never happened. Snuggle up, and adamantly stand by the fact you never fucked. That technicality is still true. You also didn't both become all weak and needy for each other in the most pathetic of ways - or so you tell yourselves.

"We're super drunk," Jeongguk mumbles into your hair, as if you aren't both totally sober after that. Hugs you close to him, your back pressed to his chest. Doesn't even consider return to his room. He's home, now. Would make no sense to leave. "Won't even remember it in the morning."

And the way that you behave together come sunlight, without a care in the world, laughing and joking, both together and at each other's expense, it would seem like things are totally normal.

You're able to separate who you are after dark and the people you are during the sunlight hours. Can look at him, without feeling the need to jump his bones (although when you see him cooking breakfast, your eyes do linger for a little too long on the veins in his arms as he flicks the pan).

None of your friends are aware of your illicit affairs; how Jeongguk worships your body like a devout follower of a religion only he knows.

None of them... and also all of them.

They all see the way he looks at you first when he makes a joke to check that you're laughing. They're all aware of the way you ask him what he's gonna be wearing that morning when deciding what you're also gonna wear. Small, inconsequential encounters that are exclusive between the pair of you, never to be shared with anyone else.

Well, almost no one.

"Is it just me, or did you-" Nabi begins, eyes on the pair of you as she neatens up the sitting room with Jimin, but is almost instantly interrupted.

"Yep."

"Last ni-"

"Yep."

"They-"

"Yep."

Turning up her nose, she shudders a little. "Gross."

"Yep," Jimin nods. Thought he'd escaped ever hearing you and Jeongguk at it, but woke up needing water in the night. Ended up needing a punch to the face five minutes later when he realised the squeak of the floorboards wasn't from him walking around, but from your bedroom instead. Heard things in the minutes that followed that'll his nightmares forever .

"Are they, like... a thing?" she tries to clarify, but Jimin knows no more than anyone else.

"No one knows. Don't even think they know."

Which is true.

But you're currently looking at Jeongguk's big brown Bambi eyes while he explains the rules of boxing to you out on the front lawn. He wraps up your hands to 'train' you, and you giggle as he jokes with you about how you'll be a champ in no time, a stupidly love-drunk smile on your lips.

Quite unexpectedly - though not really at all, when you think about it - you realise you know .

You know, you know, you know.

How you feel; how much you really do like him; how you want things to be.

You just know.

Simply, and completely; Jeongguk can never be just a friend. Not now. Not anymore.

And it terrifies you.

[stoicman-wbk]

Who is your favorite side character from Wind Breaker??

I had the feeling me sending everyone asks would turn back on me eventually hahaha Thank you!!

But ahhhh how do I choose a favorite?!

Well, my top two are Suo and Sakura, but I consider them both main characters (along with Nirei and Umemiya), so I’ll go with the three side characters that kinda tie for third place as my faves overall. I am terrible with choosing, so I’m just gonna ramble about them all:

Kiryu

I freaking love this boy and I can’t wait til we get to his arc because I need more of him!!! I love how chill he is. Unlike Suo, who ACTS calm, Kiryu genuinely IS calm. He comes from money, but he is super down to earth and treats everyone equally. He’s selfish in the sense that he values his own space and hobbies and is comfortable ignoring everyone while he sits off on the side and just does his own thing. But he’s also selfless when he needs to be. He goes out of his way to protect people that can’t protect themselves, and even after the immediate danger is out of the way, he sticks around and gives his time to whomever he’s saved (like that girl) to make sure they feel safe and comfortable. And he is NOT afraid to become cold towards anyone that threatens that person’s comfort, even if accidentally (Tsugeura). And on top of that, I love how subtly jealous he is of Suo never breaking a sweat and always coming out of fights unscathed. I think it’s really funny tbh. And despite being a rich boy, he’s a delinquent through and through. Baggy clothes worn improperly, face full of piercings, a whimsical hotdog phone case, a room full of silly decor and fun trinkets - he is absolutely not what most people would picture when they think of a rich kid. And I love him for breaking that stereotype. Kiryu just overall has a really fun personality and I can’t wait for his character to be further explored.

Sugishita

Gods, this boy is so autistic (I say as an autistic person). He’s one of my faves probably because of how relatable he is to me. Anyway, he’s a guy who is seemingly quick to anger but at his core, he is calm and just wants to live a peaceful life with his loved ones and take naps whenever he can. He’s got selective mutism and has a lot of trouble speaking to others and expressing his feelings. And he struggles with even understanding WHAT his feelings are. And that makes him frustrated. And he often needs his own feelings to be spelled out for him by others. People who haven’t gotten the chance to know him (pretty much anyone outside of his grandparents, Ume, and the four kings) assume he’s always angry and unapproachable (he just has a case of chronic resting bitch face) and often start shit because of it….which is what led Sugi to developing the habit of immediately fighting anyone that insults him or the people he cares for (such as Sakura). And because of all this mixed together, he’s afraid to step out of his comfort zone and grow as a person, which leaves him even MORE frustrated because he sees this guy (Sakura) come outta nowhere and immediately start growing into a major important figure for Bofurin. And that prompts him to push himself further and try to improve himself by changing the way he’s been doing things and UGH I AM JUST SO PROUD OF THIS FICTIONAL CHARACTER. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HOW HE GROWS.

Anzai

This fandom really seems to sleep on Anzai’s character because seriously, THIS BOY IS SO IMPORTANT. He is the first one in the class (aside from Nirei and Suo) to approach Sakura in a positive manner. And he cares so much about his friends (even the ones he hasn’t spoken to in a while) that he’s willing to face an entire ARMED gang on his own despite having already gotten his ass kicked by them. And he cares so much for the guys at Furin that he doesn’t want to get them involved because he doesn’t want THEM to get hurt fighting HIS battles, despite the fact that he is literally SUFFERING. And he is SUCH a comically bad liar that even Sakura can’t be fooled by his nonsense. And after everything goes down, Anzai is not afraid to cry. He is so in touch with his emotions, and that extends to how he frustrated he is toward his friends for trying to do things on their own (the hypocrisy of this boy, fr). But later when Sakura tells the class how he feels, Anzai is the first one to scold him and knock some sense into him. He feels very strongly about his friends and he is not afraid to let them know it. And all that aside, he is incredibly funny. Like Suo, Anzai teases the shit out of Sakura. He’s a lil gremlin that thrives on chaos, teasing and rough housing with the others whenever he can - honestly the most teenage boy acting character in this whole series, I think. And I just love him to death. I really really hope we see more of him, even if it’s just small interactions.

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled on long enough. Haha I just really really love these three.

Thanks so much for the ask and giving me the opportunity to gush about my favorite side characters!

[muder-boner]

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⬆︎ made by : @rainydayzxd , my beautiful child and best friend

Tws for my blog : mention of $h, mentions of fighting , a lot of venting bcuz I hate my life, cigarettes, uh strict parents and they're shitty asf, past shit that still haunts me, swearing, sometimes me being hard on myself, I do not post $h pics.

NO CREEPS, PEOPLE OVER THE AGE OF 20 I AM A MINOR AND I'M NOT LOOKING FOR ANYTHING LIKE THAT (ifykwim) (exeptions for ppl w alters, and age regression but like.. U turn into adult idk how to explain. )

TW FOR UNDER READ-THINGY, GIFS, WEIRD GORE BAND NAMES, also I'm sorry if the colors above r triggerringg, I'm coloring so it's noticeable (the tws)

...tw, please don't tell me I didn't warn u.

Fucking welcome !! Have a drink 🤘

This profile ain't a vent one even though most of the time I complain and whine on here, I'm actually really nice if you interact with me, ask @rainydayzxd . (They're my child and my baby I'll protect them at all costs) I often pet regress, so like..please don't be weird. Only *REALLY* close moots can call me pup,..( @agirlfr0msomewhere @rainydayzxd @raytorosguitarstrap @s1l4s-w0rsh1ps-t0m4t03s @jordanikeepforgettingtheurl... if anyone else calls me pup and I don't trust them...like..tell them.).

I suffer with $h, I find it hard to find anything i deserve in this world, I don't post $h pics, if there's a post I didn't tag (like a tw) please DM or send me an ask, I'm trying my best to have a safe spot people can interact with.

↑↑↑↑ me

RULES FOR MY ASKS: NO bullying, like plz, no asks for donations (honestly, hard to know if ur a bot or not.) , rants about stuff are encouraged, no political shit, no weird questions about me, yk stuff like that.

If you DM me, please do not spam me, makes me overwhelmed.

best ffriends on Tumblr! : @agirlfr0msomewhere @rainydayzxd @deliu07 @kornyblu @dazaissceneslut @raytorosguitarstrap @s1l4s-w0rsh1ps-t0m4t03s

Hallo !! I'm looking 4 friendz, here iz my info dump

My name is Ezra !! Ftm dude and I go by he him

I'm Romanian , yet idk shit abt Romania, or do the whole "tradition" thing,

I am currently a caregiver, if you're looking for some kind of comfort, feel free to ask! (Caregiver for Jordan !! ):3

Spacehey: https://spacehey.com/hazyeyesez

➤ Music Genre

➤ Emo rock, Death Metal, Nu metal, Goregrind, Sometimes metal core, Power Metal, Glam metal, Black Metal yesssrrrrriririr(Yes I'm a metal head)

➤ Artists and Bands

KoRn , Green Day , Weezer, Tokio Hotel, Mitski, Eminem, Esophagus, Steve Gabry, Your Favorite Martian, The Smiths, Epic Rap Battles Of History, Pink Floyd, BabyMetal, Gorillaz, The Strokes, LMFAO, Arctic Monkeys, JT Music, IC3SPEAK, My Chemical Romance, Metallica, Anal Vomit, System of a down, Slayer, Slave steel, Mortician, Slipknot, The Anxiety, Darkthrone, Burzum, BABYMETAL.

Here's my playlist! There's more than 100 songs that only show, uh, yeah.

Trigger warning, weird gore names.

➤ Fandoms : Call Of Duty, Cry Of Fear, My Little Pony, The Walking Dead, Shameless, Deathgasm, Sally face, Err can't really thing of anything else man.

➤ Moviez : Fight club, The virgin suicides, FNAF Movie, The Mario movie, Coraline, Studio Ghibli movies, Deathgasm , All Fred Figglehorn movies, Dinner in America.

➤ Fave colorz : Green , a lot of green,red and of course, the best shade ever, Black

➤ Favorite pony from main 6 : applejack

➤ Favorite pony from all series: BIGMAC💗💗

➤ Favorite sanrio : pompompurin he's so me

➤ Favorite Twd character : Carl (i cosplay him!!!) And / or Beth (and many more lol!!)

➤ Favorite Sally face character : Travis Phelps (he's so relatable) (yes I have daddy issues)

➤ Favorite people : @agirlfr0msomewhere, @0r1sw0rldxp, @kornyblu, @s1l4s-w0rsh1ps-t0m4t03s, , @rainydayzxd, @sincerely-jordan-tuck, @deliu07 (STOP CHANGING UR USER NAME SM JORDAN I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH EDITINF THE LIST /pos /j! I luv u change ur username I love ur creativity with em :3)

LOVE MY OTHER MOOTS 2!!!

DNI: - homophobia, racism, sexism, anti furry, anti therian, over 20 , people who want donations, I don't have money, plus I have nothing to do to help. all bad stuff etc. I BLOCK FREELY.

Everyone else is welcome !!<3

I like to think that I'm kind and caring,i love taking care of people, so yes slide in my DMS if u're lonely,im always down to make new moots and friends on here !

➤ My tags !! :

Ezras' food !! ➥ what I ate

Ezras' art !! ➥ my art and drawings

Ezras' outfit !! ➥ what I'm wearing that day

Ezras' day !! ➥ rants about my day

Ezras' vent !! ➥ my vents

Ezras' interests !! ➥ rants about my interests

Ezras' friends !! ➥rants about my friends

Ezras' embarrassing facts !! ➥ My embarrassing facts I'm scared to talk about so I post them on my Tumblr blog!

I might add more in the future !!

Also have tags like "Silas tag !!" Where it's a post or a reblog of my friend or moot !!

Gifs & blinkies are not mine !! (I think that is want they're called

Recently started playing guitar ! fucking metal yes yes

Favorite number: 29

Favorite letter: G L E M A

Oc blogs :

RirI Austerlitz: @cannibal-unicorn-ssssss

2025 new years resolutions

- kiss my girlfriend everyday for the whole year

- get a binder

- get better at making comics writing storie

- get better at guitar

- get slimmer (belly and thighs)

- decorate room

- finish my battle vest

- get rid of acne

- get better at school

- cherish my gf a lot

[sososunniest]

fresh ships that I like and why and headcanons

fresh x error

this one is probably my otp I draw these motherfunkers all the time waaaaaa .,.. okay. so I know there's an au where they're siblings . they aren't canonically siblings, and I hate that au with a burning passion so

iirc, even CQ ships fresh x error. so that's a plus. love my skeleton yaoi /silly

headcanon time. I feel like because of error's fear of being touched, fresh (at least) tries to tone it down with the physical touch. he kinda sucks at it tho

error hates, and I mean HATES showing affection. he shows it by being mean. fresh likes that about him, at least knowing that error is somewhat trying. keyword, somewhat

under the cut for more

fresh x fell

oh man. OH MAN. fresh and anyone he wouldn't like because of their mannerisms ,,,,,,,, "I like him, he's special to me" type stuff is my fave ever

< bad boy x absolute idiot freak loser 3 .... oh maaan

fresh probably censored him daily until he let him pass with a few curses. nothing too bad.

fresh joke flirts with him everyday and fell started to flirt back and fresh giggles and kicks his feet

fresh x lust

another instance of someone fresh wouldn't like. A WHORE. I headcanon lust as asexual though ,,,,,, my au made me permanently see him as someone who left his au and identified as asexual

they gossip and hold hands and talk about hot guys

they definitely call and twirl the phone cord and kick their legs

they wear wigs just so they can braid each others hair and they kiss on Mondays /vsilly

I see them as queer platonic partners ,,, that I love because AAAUAUUUAUUSAAAAGAGAHHR im tweaking

fresh x geno

okay main reason is because of fresherror ,,,,, and i just love them. no pure reason as to why, theeyre just so cute. I'm going nuts over them

fresh likes to wipe the blood from geno's mouth ,,, he thinks he's being nice. geno is grateful for this.

fresh likes giving him shirts and outfits but a lot of them are ruined from blood, so sometimes fresh walks around with literal blood stains on his shirt . what a fool. WHAT A FOOL !!!!!

fresh x ink

the chaotic duo we all neeeded ,,,, I feel like both of them are on the aroace spectrum

they probably paint together and ink probably gifted fresh some au that was abandoned so they could make it all cool together

the real reason I like this pair is because. uh. idk. they're both goofballs and they both like pulling pranks. they probably show eachother their special interests (yes I'm projecting get OVER IT /SILLY)

fresh x killer

this one isn't as well known ... I'm known as the rarepair ceo at this point, I fear

OKAY. I know killer's first reaction to fresh was quite literally "what the funk" but you gotta hear me out on them. they're cuties. very cute. they're like rivals, but the rivalry is completely one-sided and that's kinda funny to me. killer probably caught some feelings , and he was very angry about that

nothing else about them. I just really like them. I crode

fresh x classic

ahh yes, fresh and the guy he stole a body from /silly

I really do love them. comedian buddies. I find them more like platonic partners than actual lovers, since classic sans 'too lazy to feel love/be in a romantic relationship' and I took that as an opportunity to slap another aroace label onto a character I relate to BAHAHAAHA

they tell eachother dumb jokes

fresh x epic

yet another platonic partner relationship . foaming at the mouth

more comedians !!!!!! two little joke people. love em

fresh x cross

that one Underverse episode caused this. I have no other words. I just like them okay

fresh x nightmare

they commit tax fraud together on Tuesdays

yet another instance of someone fresh would HATE, but fresh grows an attachment to him. "aw, but he's cute" he won't be cute when he murders you fresh

fresh x swap

two words. Christmas party

that au has my freshswap brain foaming at the mouth. they giggle and gaggle together and plot evil pranks together. fresh probably helps him with puzzles

fresh x greaser

I used to not like these two. I used to not like greaser in general. buut the fanart swayed me,,,,, and now I like it. but JUST A LITTLE.

fresh x fatal error

fatal error is geno and error sorta combined in my eyes, and I ship both of them with fresh ,,,, ssso I can't help myself ,,,,,

fresh x horror

tall buddies. very tall in fact

can you tell I'm getting lazy

fresh x dream

also that underverse episode

ok bye

[seventeenlovesthree]

So I've been discussing the idea of "having a hard time" diving back into old shows - particularly those I was obsessive about in the past.

One of those shows - was Bakuten Shoot Beyblade. I believe I've mentioned it a few times before, but from approximately 2003 to 2009, this was my absolute JAM. After Digimon Tamers, it was the very first anime I was "active" about in German forums, I wrote RPGs, I wrote fanfiction, I drew fanart... You name it. And while I thought I had the main cast down to a T, I am pretty sure that, after being out of the series for so long, I would analyze them a little bit differently today. Heck, I think even my preferred shipping choices have changed somewhat from how they were back then... (To be fair, I have always liked every single combination between the main four, but I would definitely say that some of those are more dear to me than others.)

I think I'd really like to write some character analysis for them at some point. I always enjoyed taking apart their respective tropes and see how their traumas unfolded. And, looking at how even modern depictions of them go, I seem to not have been that far off after all!

To keep it as shortly as possible:

Takao may, at first glance, strike you as your typical shounen protagonist who loves to eat a lot and believes in the power of friendship to succeed - and while these aspects about him are certainly true, it's interesting to watch how it all unfolds between the first and third season. There is a fine line between his genuinely good heart, a passion for what he loves and an ego he has to overcome sometimes. I would even argue that he is one of the most misunderstood characters out there; because due to his family background, he does have severe abandonment issues, fearing to be left behind and thus he doesn't react well to situations like that - either he turns into a wounded puppy or covers it up with a mask of cockiness. He can be brash and hotheaded - but he genuinely loves his friends and believes in the good in people (and thus he really gives me magical girl vibes). He knows how to pull others with him, has an incredibly charming and attractive energy and other people feel naturally drawn to him... It's beautiful.

The stereotype Max has always been dealing with was that of the "sugar high ray of sunshine" - and I am delighted to see how wide-spread the idea has become that, while he absolutely IS a positive, open and physical person, he is also masking a lot of his own insecurities and abandonment issues with cocky phrases and a never-ending smile. Because he feels like he has to - to keep the band together, to not lose the sense of togetherness and to not be abandoned and replaced again. Just like with Takao, family-related trauma is at play here. His defensively smart Blading style is oftentimes ridiculed and overlooked, thus kinda playing into him trying to overcome his own inferiority complexes. Both him and Takao adore their newly found family to the core and it's no surprise that they easily click with one another - and that Max seems to have an easy time getting through to almost everyone in the team as well.

Rei - oh my Lord, I will try to keep this one short as well, because he was definitely my fave back in the day. And what's not to love about human-cat-hybrid (good old Neko-Jin days, how I miss thee) with a yin/yang theme going on who has a hard time choosing between his mind and his heart, traditions and freedom, and continuously gets himself into trouble because of that? One may also argue that he's getting the shortest end of the stick because of his inner and outer conflicts A LOT... And despite that, he is just as prone to cockiness, probably also trying to mask his own attachment issues by doing that. The burden of expectations that are constantly thrown at him drives him to the need to find his own path - so he tends to run away and changes direction a lot. Like a true cat does... Man, I love that absolute disaster child, always torn between his values and needs, who, even though loyalty absolutely does play a role for his character, has an even harder time conveying how much his found family means to him. In that regard, he is only topped by one particular character (no pun intended...).

Kai, oh Kai. Edgelord of the century, or, like we used to call him, mister ice cube. Essays upon essays have been written about his character - the cold exterior that was formed by years and years of child abuse (at least in the anime, the manga is an entirely different beast to cover, but even there, the subject of abandonment issues is present again). A cold and cruel mask, a brilliant Blader with an aura of, dare I say it, sadistic fun when it comes to destroying his opponents... And yet, there is that other side of him. The side that is incredibly protective and, in his very own way, supportive. Giving advice through harsh words, claiming that he only has his own interests in mind... But is that really the case? Isn't he, deep down inside, just as smitten by these dorks he is "stuck with"? Obsessed with beating those he claims to be his rivals until his very last breath... A twisted sense of love he probably hasn't fully understood himself yet... Or has he?

Long story short - they are all cocky teenage boys with a passion for spinning tops that play off of each other incredibly well and actually love each other a lot and are probably all bisexual disasters to different degrees, but I will get deeper into sexuality headcanons later.

[birdmitosis]

Since a minor theme for today's posts seems to be Voice of the Opportunist thoughts... You know, I actually quite like the guy. He's nowhere near the top of my list of fave Voices -- in fact, he'd probably be in my bottom three -- but I've grown to sincerely love all of them in their own ways.

Paranoid

Cold

Contrarian

Hunted

Hero

Cheated

Skeptic

Broken

Opportunist

Stubborn

Smitten

Like, that's probably my rough order of Voices? But I really love Stubborn and Smitten too at this point, like a lot. And Opportunist... really interests me. I don't feel as bad about him as I think a lot of people do. (Thoughts under the cut!)

I think what gets me about Opportunist is that, while he can come across very badly for sure, I think there are two main things he wants that drive all of his (very bad) ideas: He very badly wants to be liked, but that's secondary to the fact that he wants to survive. He's just geared strongly towards survival in a way that's more... social than physical. He wants to side with the people he thinks are the most powerful without actually upsetting anyone, until he gets to a point where he feels like we have enough power to be able to wield it. And as one of the Voices, he is actually very "we"-focused -- he talks about looking out for number one, yes, but you're all kind of a collective "number one" and he maybe makes that most clear in The Wraith chapter, where he never wavers from vocally trying to make the situation better for himself and Hero and Paranoid. He never threatens any of the other Voices either -- and not even, iirc, the Narrator, though he does turn his back on the Narrator when it becomes clear he's something of a paper tiger -- just the Princess, in situations where she has proven how dangerous she is, and not even always then. (Again, in The Wraith, he's not even pleased to have overpowered her if you decide to toss her into a bottomless pit.) He does want to be liked, too, that much is clear and seems to be completely sincere. He likes traveling (or at least the idea of it) because he thinks it makes him "relatable." He totally unnecessarily tries to smooth everything over with you and the other Voices in a way that doesn't always, to me, feel like him just being mealy-mouthed in a self-serving way; the example of this that stands out to me is in The Moment of Clarity, when Stubborn and Contrarian are tired of Skeptic's philosophizing and he jumps in to reassure, "They're good questions. Great questions, even. But they don't have any answers," and there's something oddly... gentle/reassuring about the delivery. The way you get him usually shows how he's geared to your (collective) survival and why he doesn't trust the Princess: In the first chapter, if you don't take the blade but then use it to kill her, that's your only chance to get him. But you get him in one of two ways: Go back upstairs for the blade after talking to her, in which case the Protagonist has probably legitimately decided that things aren't adding up and she's actually secretly more dangerous than she's letting on (and because she is "a creature of perception" she then reveals that to be true!), or trying to kill her after the Narrator possesses you, in which case there's that clear "hierarchy" of "the Narrator is too powerful if he can just choose to control us" (and also makes his trying to appease the Narrator in the later chapters make sense). And he is like the Witch, and honestly, in some ways I think it's understandable that he's resistant to changing even when she does. She is the one who changes based on our perception, and if I'm at all right that the Voices are the pieces that break off of us because we can't change like that but they represent her perception of us, well. The Protagonist and the Witch can choose to change and break the cycle in a way the Opportunist has a harder time with. But he is much like her: "This dangerous person killed me last time, we need to maneuver this situation in a way where we can kill her without her killing us again." And a big problem with him is that he is 100% wired into that survival instinct even when it's not necessary! He wants to betray the Thorn even after she hands us the blade back! But he also just came from a chapter in which we handed her the blade trustingly and she immediately stabbed us, which doesn't excuse it but does I think explain why when he talks about slaying her right then and there he says something along the lines of "we have power right now and we may never get this chance again" -- he's still expecting this to go very badly for us.

The other ways you get him in the various Chapter IIIs also back this up, I think: In The Razor, you try to "appeal to her better nature" after she's already killed you twice (and maybe a lot more!), which is again just him trying to survive long enough to turn the tables on a threat. To get him in The Wild, the Beast first has to eat you alive, but then you stab her to death instead of letting her escape or just killing yourself, taking advantage of being close to vulnerable organs to take her down with you. (And I will say, while I adore Contrarian, I find him much more obnoxious to have in The Wild chapter.) To get him in The Wraith, you have to take the blade in The Nightmare chapter but agree to free her, then slay her either at the door when the Narrator locks it on you (again, the Narrator showing he's more powerful than he should be) or after Paranoid straight-up says "if I absolutely had to choose I slightly prefer that we kill her" -- and then, oddly, he does spend the entire Wraith chapter trying to soothe her and get her to forgive and hire/protect not just himself but the Protagonist, Hero, and Paranoid (and is actually like "this was a bad decision, there's going to be no way to smooth this over" if you do choose to toss yourself into the void with her). And in The Moment of Clarity, he is oddly gentle with the other Voices for the most part and also advises just letting her out because it'll all be okay for them if they do. All of this is just to say that, like... Yeah, he can be mealy-mouthed and backstabbing and obnoxious. But I also don't think he's a backstabber for fun. He wants to be either at the top when it comes to "who's the most powerful," or at the right hand of whoever is at the top, but at the same time I think that stems from him just wanting to feel safe -- and what's safer than no one else having power over you? Especially when that power's been used to steal your autonomy or kill you so, so many times? In some ways he's low-key like Hunted and Paranoid: "What will keep us alive?" and "I don't trust anyone but us (unless I feel like I have to)" are kind of an undercurrent to everything he says and does. ...That also means that if he got his own body I think he'd be in an interesting position. He might have some issues at first with being more "look out for number one now means me and not us," or at least having some instinctive feelings in that direction -- but at the same time he might feel more at ease having complete control over his own body, since the Protagonist losing that control seemed to low-key freak him out more than once in the Construct and his smooth-talking might have had a lot to do with how he felt his words were the only power he had since he wasn't in control of the body. So there's a chance he'd struggle with staying quite as group-oriented at first, but there's also a chance that he might be able to relax at least a bit.