#divorce sandray

[fadelbison]

Sorry for hijacking your post archer with something semi personal ^^' but I had such a moment with this screencap. I'm yet to catch up to the last 5 eps of we are [literally cause I started a rewatch waiting for ep 9 and now im behind] but I've been following all the loveliness via my dash.

Anyway, I've been pulling my hair out the last two months trying to get my divorce!Sandray to fucking not get divorced but jfc they are SO unhappy...but I had a breakthrough literally yesterday (ie day before the we are finale)

“You’re a curse I don’t want to break.” Sand seems to lose all his agitation, his righteous anger from moments ago all at once. “Whatever fucked up shit we have is it for me. However it unfolds, is my love story.” Sand lets out a long, weary sigh, “So can we please make it a happy one?”

New Siwaj really knows my heart - traumatized characters who become the masters of their stories and write the tenderness they deserve for themselves my beloved

don't think about the fact that phum can only say this because there have been so many bad stories in his life. don't think about it.

[fadelbison]

looking through my unfinished wips trying to deduce which specific mental illness of mine was winning when I wrote it

[ID: 'END' in a square bracket like a script and after it in quotations "I'm sorry I'm so bad at dying"]

[scrumptiousstuffs]

my biggest dream is only friends having a seasson 2 ppl would be mad as hell, they were hinting it when mix show up in the last episode

Oh anon 🙂‍↕️🫣

I’m going to disagree with you in this. We see all main characters come full circle of their issues at the end of season 1 (or at the very least, enough that it allows most audience to leave satisfied with how the characters ended).

Only Friends as a series worked (for me) because of the unexpectedness when it initially aired. The audience is kept at edge every week thinking about what’s going to happen with each character. But in terms of then continuing and exploring the characters further, I just don’t think it will work as well, especially if we are talking about keeping a similar storyline/pacing and season 2 picking up straight where it ended at the finale.

I can just see it turning to full soap opera melodrama style (think Days of Our Lives, and if you’re from Australia - Neighbours or Home Away).

Season 2 may work if it’s a “revamp” involving perhaps a different group of casts that are not related to the original casts (like I can see a GL version, for example!) Or if it involves a different setting (OF is set in university/young adults but what about a setting where the cast members are in their 30s, established with their career with some members having children etc) - even then I think it will only work if we have the right cast.

So, as much as I love the cast members and delighted by Mix cheeky cameo at the end 👇🏽….

…I’m satisfied with how it ended.

(Having said that, I read some humorous call to have Only Friends special episode or as part of Our Skyy2 showing the OF couples going through divorces 💀) - I don’t mind if it’s 1-2 special episodes to show what the boys (and girls!) are up to many years later - e.g how is Boston doing in New York? Has he changed? Did Nick got back together with Daddy Dan?? Did SandRay and TopMew adopt some pets? Children?

[forcebookish]

so I just went back to watch the ray/mew scene at the end bc I wanted to double check that ray actually doesn't apologize for shit and guess what? he really doesn't. he gives a weak "I'm sorry for calling you dumb" but that doesn't count. no I'm sorry for using your vulnerabilities to my advantage, no I'm sorry for screaming at you and thinking I was entitled to sex, no I'm sorry for cheating on you. mew was the one who did all the apologizing. and he also went to cheum and apologized to her (and I'm glad he did...when will ray btw) and also admitted he was fucked up and lost. so far him and top are the only characters that own up to what they do and actually apologize and try to change. hopefully that's what will help their relationship last too.

it's at the point where it feels on purpose the way that ray will apologize for the tiniest part of an offense to diminish how horribly he acted.

'i'm sorry for driving drunk,' but not for shoving you to the ground and calling you a whore. <- HAHAHAHA I FORGOT THAT HE LITERALLY DIDN'T APOLOGIZE TO SAND AT ALL. I WENT TO LOOK FOR A SCREENCAP AND HE ONLY WHINES ABOUT BEING SCOLDED FOR DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE AND THANKS SAND FOR SAVING HIS LIFE. HE THINKS THAT THANKING SOMEONE IS ENOUGH OMFG. what a repugnant person lol

'i'm sorry for not telling you i was in a car accident,' but not for exposing your secrets to your partners and yelling at all of you.

'i'm sorry for nearly getting you arrested,' but not for forcefully kissing you and acting like i owned you.

'i'm sorry for calling you dumb,' but not for shouting at you for not having sex with me.

and look! oftentimes, he'll only apologize after he's scolded for it!! and even then he'll do it in the most whiny, juvenile way!

even when he apologized to mew for kissing him when he was asleep, did he do it because he actually felt bad about doing something wrong or because he was afraid he'd lose mew? i think we know the answer to that.........

this seems to be a pattern with mewray's relationship: mew easily forgives ray no matter what shit he does, ray barely apologizes, and mew apologizes for shit that's not even his fault. (LIKE RAY DRINKING AT MEW'S BIRTHDAY??????????? I'M STILL SO PISSED ABOUT THAT!!!! MEW THAT WAS NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT YOUR FAULT OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING BEFORE PUNCHING HIM... WHICH YOU DID WHEN HE WAS PHYSICALLY ATTACKING YOUR BOYFRIEND!!! HE FUCKING DESERVED IT!!) ray keeps taking advantage of mew and mew just... lets him. everyone in ray's life lets him get away with EVERYTHING. cheum at least chewed him out, but is she going to stay friends with him outside of the project? i fucking hope not.

and i agree, anon! the way that topmew own up to their shit is one of the reasons they were able to stay together in the first half of the series at all. despite both being pretty confident (obviously they do have insecurities, but they're not overwhelming), they don't really have egos? or at least not ones that can be easily bruised. there are multiple times in their relationship where they either hurt the other or overstep boundaries and apologize.

they don't act like they lose anything by admitting when they're wrong. they just know: i made the person i like feel bad, i want to make it up to him. no one has to cajole the other into an apology, they just know that they've done wrong and they own it. that's what makes a strong relationship.

and that's what's made the divorced era so heart-wrenching. of course top wants to get back together, but it's obvious that what hurts the most is how much he hurt mew. top sees the effect it's had on mew and it breaks his heart; all these good moments between them go up in smoke in mew's eyes; he spirals out of control and the world around him collapses. it's more than just losing mew, it's that mew is losing himself.

it's a really stark difference from what's going on with sandray, right? ray is doing everything within his power to keep sand in his life, and is it for sand's sake? nope. it's for ray. does he admit he has a problem? nope. does he apologize for every way he's hurt sand? nope nope nope 🙄

thanks for popping in, anon! i like to keep track of how little of the shit that ray actually apologizes for lmao he's so infuriating but you aren't🥰🥰🥰

[fadelbison]

please (please please) read my horrible sandray that a reader commented ‘I wish they had divorced’ 😂😂😂😂

Can You Blow My Mind Pt 3/3

Title: can you blow my mind Pairing: SandRay Rating: Explicit Summary: Thirteen years of marriage has taken its toll on Sand and Ray's relationship, they rummage in the rubble to salvage what they can. Author's Note: JFC I finally finished! And it's a happy ending! Rejoice!!! Excerpt from chapter 3:

“You trust me with money.” “Of course-” “But not to stay faithful.” Ray lets him go, as though stung by the words coming out of his mouth. He loosens Sand’s hold from around him and steps out of his space, “That’s not. That isn’t–You don’t owe me anything.” “Ray,” Sand says, stalking closer again and taking his wrist, he slides his hand up until his thumb comes to rest against Ray’s knuckles, “Of course, I owe you things.” Ray looks down at their joined hands, Sand’s finger pressed against the empty tan lines on his finger, “And me? What do I owe you?” Ray asks, pitch slowly rising, voice becoming tinged with his casual condescension. “Do you trust me?”

[fadelbison]

Preview: Can You Blow My Mind Chapter 3

Hello, I've decided to create some anarchy and release a central scene from the final chapter of my divorce sandray fic. This scene is meant to be the 'striking of the matchstick' moment. The point that everything starts to go down in flames and it will happen quick. I think I've been stressed about this feeling rushed because the destruction and resolution that comes hereafter is dense. It's an alarmingly short chapter 😭 Generally, when I'm this anxious I will ask @patrice-bergerons to beta and even though I trust him with my whole heart, I think the issue is that I know this is how I want to write it askjdfshfk despite aforementioned pitfalls. Anyway let me know what you guys think Tagging @kattyangel because this is their gift fic, so they have no choice but to be subjected to it (don't worry bb this is not the angstiest part this is pre-angst) 😘

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When they separate for air, Sand doesn’t let Ray stray far, sharing breath with their foreheads pressed together. Ray smiles shyly, ‘You’re in a good mood.’ He comments as Sand peppers little kisses across his ears. Ray lets himself get kissed again for a few minutes longer, hooking his arms around Sand’s neck to pull him closer, “Did the lawyers finally file the papers?” Sand’s hands are already on his waist and sneaking underneath the tie of his bathrobe, gently prying it loose, “Not yet, baby.” He answers.

Ray hums, a smudge more serious, “Isn’t it taking kind of long? Is it my lawyer causing issues? I’ve already instructed him to agree to your full terms. I can have another chat with him.”

Sand shakes his head, a lick of shame creeping up his neck as he says, “It’s just bureaucratic back and forth. There’s always another form to fill and you know it’s concert prep season. I’ve been out of the office a lot scouting locations.” It sounds like a garbled mess of excuses to his ears but Ray nods solemnly.

Ray pouts at him for a little before he smiles with a click of his tongue, “You don’t have to be so disappointed. After all, this is kind of fun right?” Ray squeezes the back of his neck, the way he does when they make out and it’s like a shot to his spine, the sensation tingling down his back, “You don’t have to think too hard about the properties. If just keeping them in your name saves us some time, then go for it. I trust you.” Ray’s smile is sweet, the atmosphere sticky with the desire building between them, Sand’s fingers digging into the soft fabric of his robe so close to deliciously warm skin. And yet.

“With money.”

“Hmm?” Ray responds, light and flirtatious still unaware of the storm brewing.

“You trust me with money.”

“Of course-”

“But not to stay faithful.”

[fadelbison]

guess who's mental health is in the seventh depth of hell!!! So naturally I'm working on divorce Sandray. If my head explodes remember me fondly.

[fadelbison]

the upside to my mental breakdown last night is that y’all are getting more divorce sandray

[fadelbison]

tw; discussion of death, non graphic mentions of suicide, personal life

Interesting bout of mental health spiral the last two weeks. I think everyone around me thinks that I am about to kill myself but you should be happy to know that I am in fact way too tired to do that. Never in my life has killing myself been less likely than it is now. In fact 80% of my thoughts are just some variation of “I am tired”. And it forms this wall that prevents any new information from passing through.

I can’t even engage in catharsis because of how tired I am. Writing divorce sandray backfired so spectacularly. I was so tired from having reread the first two chapters and crying that by the time I got to the third I wrote like 200 words then was too exhausted to continue. If anything I only dug deeper into Ray’s pain, and with no resolution it’s just sitting there like a boulder upon my chest...

I am fresh out of sick leave on account of being sick near constantly so I must go to work and act like a person for 8 hours minimum (I am a postdoc so when I say min I mean ABSOLUTELY MIN and I’m still underperforming) presumably for the rest of the week and every week that comes after. Nothing to say of the fact that I have 8 days of PTO left total to ration for any kind of leave for the next two months. Let alone a vacation I can’t even do anything that isn’t resting at home because if I got sick again it’s all over. I’ve needed 6 days of sick leave in May alone and at least 4 in April which I was only able to manage because my boss was very understanding about working from home (yes to the Europeans our sick leave is rationed in the US). Let’s just say there is a benefit to being too tired to kill myself.

My day to day life is so devoid of basic comforts. I am aching for someone to so much as pat me on the head. I have friends but it is extremely hard to communicate anything. Figures that even answering a question like what do you need requires energy. I am tired I have no thoughts only barriers and exhaustion.

[fadelbison]

while writing sandray's divorce fic and as i scramble to try and save their marriage - something about the way their dynamic never fundamentally worked for me has revealed itself. Sand kind of stays coolly above Ray through the whole show. Even when he isn't, even when he's directly responsible for Ray spiralling out of control and almost killing himself, he's still the good guy. He saves Ray! He's never meant to take it this far!

Sand never stops being the good guy and so Ray never stops being the bad guy. But most importantly we gloss over how Sand is wholly aware of how to manipulate Ray and nothing is stopping him from doing it again other than his infallible goodness.

Ray's entire measure of goodness at the end boils down to how good he can be to his most terrible friends (I still hold by how not forgiving Boston has been the most fatal character flaw that the show could have served Ray with) and how good a boyfriend he can be to Sand.

As much as i admire Khaotung's acting that therapy scene was so disappointing because it was about Sand. I know I was the one who said Sand taking the place of Ray's mother in Ray's life was tantamount to Ray's healing but jeezos they didn't have to take it THAT far. Instead of taking charge of his pain, Ray takes upon this grotesque goal of being and acting more like Sand. Of pleasing him even at the cost of himself. This wasn't entirely bad because Ray's ability to think sympathetically with other people was a point of growth he needed and I found the pool scene with Boeing oddly...sweet. It was how his final arc was once more dictated entirely by Mew and motivated entirely by Sand which has always been my problem. And that's where the show leaves him. One therapy session that was about Sand and a future that is entirely about Sand. By the end of the show this man hasn't batted a single eyelash towards his own trauma, his own familial issues that were at the root of his every problem with Sand anyway. And this is how I find myself writing about Ray desperately struggling to find himself in a decades long marriage with Sand. And then asking myself - who's causing this conflict that they're in? Why have they stopped communicating? And the fic is from Sand's POV so let me tell you that this narrator is not only unreliable to *you* (if you've read it that is) but he's unreliable to me. He's hiding things from me and I *will* find out what. Sand's infallible goodness will become fallible if it's the last thing I do!!! (also its the only way to save their marriage imho so if you want me to give them their happy ending you have to be on board lol)