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maretinelli · 24 days ago

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SINCE ALWAYS

Lewis Hamilton X physiotherapist!fem!reader

Summary: Lewis and Y/n were like they were attached at the hip. Ever since they were kids, the two of them were there for each other, supporting, caring, and celebrating. But the truth was that they had been in love with each other since they were teenagers, and Lewis's invitation for her to be his fake girlfriend at a wedding made their feelings come to light.

Words: 9.6K+

Warnings: Best friends to lovers, fake dating, cute, a little distressing because they don't say their feelings right away haha, mentions of sex, confessions of love.

Author: English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes that may be made. And I love reading fake dating stories, so I think writing them is cool too hahaha.

MASTERLIST

Since they were little, Lewis and Y/n were inseparable.

They grew up on the same street in London, attended the same schools and shared dreams and insecurities.

Lewis always said that he wouldn't be a pilot without Y/n, because she believed in him before anyone else. And she also said that she only managed to survive college because of the motivational messages and the coffees he delivered to her dorm door when he had time off.

That for her, Lewis achieved the impossible.

When Yin graduated with a degree in physiotherapy and a post-graduate degree in sports physiotherapy, Lewis was keen to help her join Mercedes, saying the team needed someone as talented and dedicated as she was.

Now both living in Monaco, their friendship had only grown stronger. Y/n used to joke that Lewis spent so much time at her apartment that they should split the bills.

He always laughed, saying he only went there for Roscoe, the bulldog who seemed to love the physical therapist almost as much as his owner.

Deep down, both Lewis and Y/n knew there was something deeper between them, but neither of them had the courage to say it out loud.

To Lewis, Y/n was more than just his best friend; she was his rock in the midst of the chaos of his career. She knew exactly what to say when he lost a race, how to cheer him up on his bad days, and most of all, she always believed in him. He loved her smile, the way she wrinkled her nose when she was focused, and even the little scoldings she gave him when he forgot to stretch or took bad care of himself. But admitting that? He couldn’t risk it. Not when she was the most important person in his life.

That afternoon, Lewis parked his car and went up to Y/n's apartment. He had a key, just like she had to his apartment. After knocking on the door and getting no answer, he went inside, calling out to her.

"Y/n? Are you home?" His voice echoed through the apartment.

"I'm in the shower! I'll be right out!" She shouted from the back.

Lewis smiled and gave a quick command to Roscoe, who trotted down the hall with him.

In her room, Lewis flopped down on the bed, taking in the familiar space. The shelf beside the bed was filled with mementos, photos of them together at races, from trips, and even a small 'best friend' trophy that Hamilton had given her as a joke years ago. He started to sort through the things, feeling completely at home.

"What brings your divine presence here?" she teases, calling out loud from the bathroom, her voice muffled by the door.

"Walking around, Roscoe wanted to see you." He replied, chuckling as he heard her laughter in the background.

"Oh, sure. Roscoe, the main reason, right?" Y/n scoffed. "Lewis, do me a favor? Hand me the sweatpants that are on the bed?"

Lewis picked up the piece of clothing and walked to the bathroom door, which opened just a crack. Y/n reached her wet arm out and grabbed the pants, thanking her before closing them again.

Minutes later, she emerged from the bathroom with wet hair and wearing a gray Tommy Hilfiger sweatsuit. Lewis noticed immediately.

"You only wear this when I'm around, just so I think you really like it." He teased, laughing. With a case of her glasses in his hands.

Y/n grabbed the towel she was holding and threw it at him.

"That's a lie! I love this gift as much as I love my job."

Lewis chuckled, setting the towel aside as she took an object from his hand and put it back in its place.

"You're going to break my glasses," she says, as if he were a child.

Lewis, with a quick gesture, took her glasses from inside the box before Y/n took them and put them on her eyes, widening them and taking them off quickly.

"Holy shit, Y/n. You're so nearsighted you're blind." He holds out his glasses to her.

Y/n rolls her eyes and puts her glasses on her face. Not wanting to change them for the lenses she had in the bathroom.

"Huh..." She mumbles, making Lewis smile.

She walks into the bathroom again, picking up the towel Lewis had thrown and holding it out, then starting to brush her wet hair.

"Seriously, what brings you here?" Y/n turns around and sees her best friend leaning against the doorframe of her large bathroom. "Because you're a jerk. I know you. You just show up out of nowhere, start going through my stuff like a child, and have that stupid smile on your face. You're about to ask for my help."

Lewis throws his head back and holds back a laugh.

"Roscoe. I already told you." He tried, but the smile gave away there was more.

"I know... Everything poor Roscoe" She came out of the bathroom, petting the dog that was lying on the rug in her room. "Isn't it, boy?"

Roscoe lifts his head and wags his tail.

As Yin asked if he wanted something to eat and they walked down the hallway from the bedroom, Lewis saw an invitation on the living room table. He recognized the invitation before he even read the name; it was from his sister.

She would be getting married in a few weeks to that scoundrel she called her fiancé.

"Hey, my sister invited you to the wedding too." He takes the invitation and walks to the kitchen.

"Of course. Your family loves me more than you." She teases, making Lewis laugh and roll his eyes.

"It's weird that her fiancé let her call you..." He sits on the counter. "He's very controlling with people."

Y/n fills a kettle to make tea and leans on the counter, looking at her best friend.

"Yeah... he's kind of weird, don't you think?" Lewis nods. "Remember the time we went to visit your mother in London and they were there, your sister seemed so excited to see us, and he had that... idiotic look on his face?" Y/n says, making a face and Lewis laughs. "When your sister told me she was engaged, I already expected that I wouldn't get the invitation because of him, but this caught me by surprise."

"He really is quite strange. The last Christmas I spent with them, he didn't say anything, didn't comment on anything, he just scolded my sister for talking too much and not wanting to give details about their life as a couple." Lewis frowns a little.

He really didn't like his brother-in-law, and had told his own sister as much. But he got a simple reply: 'Stop being a pain in the ass, he's just a reserved guy.'

The pilot deeply hoped that his sister would be happy with the 'reserved guy'. Because if not, things would be terrible for him and the one who would solve that was Lewis himself.

"Actually...I actually came here to talk about this..." He holds up the invitation that was now on the counter.

Y/n frowns, placing two mugs on top of the sink.

"Are you thinking about not going to the wedding?"

Lewis shakes his head. "No, no! It's something else."

"Do you want me to help you choose a tie?" Y/n interrupts.

"No, no!"

"What?"

Lewis doesn't speak, he just looks at his best friend, gathering the courage to make that proposal.

Meanwhile, Y/n had one hand on the stone counter and the other on her waist, anxiously waiting for Lewis to say what was on his mind. But her heart somehow accelerated.

Was he bringing someone with him and wanted to tell them? Was he dating someone and wanted to introduce them to his family? What did she have to do with it? Of course, she's family too. Don't forget.

Y/n had been feeling something for years. Lewis wasn't just her best friend; he was the guy who was by her side through every important moment in her life. He believed in her when no one else did, he opened doors she never imagined she would go through, and he never let her feel alone. The way he smiled at her, the way he pulled her into a hug for no reason, or the way he seemed genuinely interested in her everyday stories made her heart race. But she knew she couldn't ruin it. Lewis was Lewis.

It was her Lewis, and she wasn't about to share it with anyone. As childish as it sounded.

"I want you to come with me to the wedding." He says it as if it were simple, but the question isn't complete yet.

Y/n laughs. Feeling relieved not to hear anything like; girlfriend and Lewis in the same sentence.

"I'm going anyway." She smiled, then placed the tea bags in both mugs. "But if you want me to be your date, we'll tell your sister..." She didn't finish speaking when Lewis interrupted.

"Yes, I want you as my date, but there's one more thing..."

Y/n stops filling the mugs with hot water, frowning again and slowly placing the kettle on the stand.

"Lewis...you're scaring me like this..."

He blinks a few times.

Lewis took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment.

"It's my sister's fiancé, Y/n." He began, rubbing his hands on his knees nervously as he spoke. "He has this habit of... well, poking fun at me whenever he can. Every time we see each other, he makes some comment about how 'funny' it is that I'm successful at everything but relationships. As if the fact that I'm single is some kind of personal failure."

Y/n raised her eyebrows, surprised by the tone of irritation in Lewis's voice.

"And what did you do?" She asked, finishing filling the mugs with hot water. And then her eyes widened. "Oh my God, did you punch him?"

Lewis laughs, feeling the weight of the question lift for a few seconds.

"No, I didn't hit him or anything."

Y/n lets out a relieved sigh.

"I told you I wouldn't be single at the wedding. That I'd be bringing my... girlfriend."

She stopped immediately, her hands frozen in midair, the kettle still leaking a faint trail of steam. She slowly placed the kettle back on the stand, turning to face him.

"What?"

He blinked a few times, trying to gauge her reaction.

"That's it. I kind of... made up that I had a girlfriend."

"Okay..." Y/n crossed her arms, waiting for further explanation.

"And I thought..." Lewis hesitated, looking directly at her now, his expression as if he knew she was about to ask something absurd. "That you could be my girlfriend. For a weekend. Just for the wedding."

For a moment, silence filled the room. Y/n frowned, absorbing the request, but soon burst into genuine laughter, throwing her head back.

"That's a good one, Lew. You almost had me."

When she saw that he wasn't laughing along, her laughter slowly died down. "Wait, are you... serious?"

Lewis just nodded, a wry smile appearing on his lips.

"Do you think this will work?" She asked, still a bit incredulous. "Lew, I've practically been part of your family since birth! They know us like the back of their hand. They won't believe we're dating overnight! Both your family and mine!"

Lewis leaned forward, his hands gesturing as he tried to convince her.

"That's where our friendship comes in! No one will suspect because everyone already knows we're close. It won't be that hard to pretend. It's just for a weekend, Y/n. And honestly, it'll save me from hearing the Same speech as my brother-in-law about how I'm doomed to be alone forever."

Y/n narrowed her eyes at him, clearly assessing how crazy he looked.

"Lew... this is crazy."

He shrugged. "Maybe, but you're the only person I trust with that."

Y/n felt her heart skip a beat in her ribcage and she could already feel butterflies starting to fly in her stomach.

"Are you sure about this? Because if we're going to do this, it's going to take a lot more than 'we're best friends' to convince someone."

Lewis smiled confidently.

"So, does that mean you're going to do it?"

Y/n stared at him for a long moment, before taking a sip of her tea and muttering, "I can't believe I'm actually going to go through this madness with you..."

•••••••••••••••••••••••

Travel day.

"I still think this is crazy," Y/n says, looking over her shoulder as she walks in front of Lewis down the aisle of the plane.

He just laughs and puts a hand on her shoulder.

The weeks had passed quickly, and Y/n and Lewis dedicated themselves to creating the perfect story for the relationship they would present at the wedding.

During the nights they spent together, surrounded by papers scattered on the floor and notes in Y/n's notebook, the atmosphere between them oscillated between lightness and something that neither of them could name.

She jotted down the details as he threw out ideas with ease, as if it was all just another one of their adventures together. But for Y/n, every shared laugh and every exchange of glances as they planned made her heart beat faster.

Lewis, in turn, hid his restlessness behind his laid-back charm. The idea of pretending to be Y/n's boyfriend was something he proposed out of necessity, but secretly it was also the fulfillment of a desire that he didn't dare admit even to himself. Being close to her, even in a false setting, made it seem like what he had wanted for so long could, for a brief moment, come true.

"Where was our first official date?" Y/n asked once with the pencil in her mouth, interrupting the silence.

"In that Italian restaurant, after the Monza GP." He answered without hesitation, a slight smile on his lips.

She nodded, taking notes, but felt her face heat up. No matter how much she tried to rationalize, planning every detail made the fake seem more and more real.

Now, two weeks later and his sister's wedding day even closer, the scene repeated itself.

Sitting side by side, Y/n held the notebook on her lap, while Lewis adjusted the headphones around his neck. The two were silent, but tension hung in the air. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it carried something indefinable. Something they both felt, but neither of them dared to mention.

"Okay, last review." Y/n opened the notebook, turning over some marked pages. "First date?"

"Italian restaurant, after the Monza GP." Lewis replied immediately, with a small, smug smile.

"And what did you order?" She arched her eyebrow, testing whether he had actually memorized the details.

Lewis tilted his head, pretending to think. "Mushroom risotto."

"Great, but you have to remember I ordered lasagna." She pointed her pencil at him, laughing.

"As if I would forget. You even made fun of me because I ate half of your dessert afterwards." He laughed, leaning back against the bench and crossing his arms, relaxed.

Y/n closed the notebook. "And how did we start dating?"

Lewis smiles, pinching her nose a little. "I asked you to be my girlfriend at the race in Brazil. It was just the two of us in the Mercedes garage and I realized I couldn't spend another second without you by my side."

Y/n bit her lower lip. Totally hooked by the words Lewis had just spoken, her heart raced, her hands began to sweat, and then she had to look down at the closed notebook on her lap, giving an awkward smile.

"Alright, Hamilton. I think we're ready then."

"We are!" He noticed her rosy cheeks, but he didn't want to say anything, he just smiled and hugged her sideways. "We'll make this work, I promise..."

Just as Y/n would respond, the announcement that the plane was about to take off filled the speakers. She smiles and pays attention to her messages.

Between the detailed planning of the fake relationship and the rehearsals to make sure it all sounded convincing, they were both invested down to the last bit of emotional energy.

However, Y/n decided that she needed to add something extra to make their arrival at the wedding even more exciting.

A few days before the wedding, she sent a message to Lewis’s sister. Claiming to be overwhelmed with last-minute appointments, she said she would not be able to attend the wedding. The pilot’s sister responded almost immediately, sad but understanding. Despite her disappointment, she said she would look forward to seeing Y/n at her new home after the ceremony.

Y/n felt a pang of guilt sending the message, but knew it would make her arrival that much more memorable.

Meanwhile, Lewis, who was well aware of his best friend's dramatic ideas, took advantage of an afternoon when he was at Y/n's apartment, and called her family while she was by his side. During the call, Lewis casually announced that he would be bringing someone to the wedding - someone special, someone they definitely needed to meet.

Even though you already know it.

Y/n, who initially just helped Lewis keep his tone light during the conversation, ended up joining in. Even without speaking directly, she caught his words and laughed softly at the implications.

The mischievous smiles on both their faces were the only clue that there was more than it seemed.

When they arrived at London airport, the air was thick with anticipation. Y/n pulled her suitcase along while Lewis, sunglasses on his face and an easy smile, walked beside her. They exchanged knowing glances when they realized that no one from their family was there to greet them - everyone had already traveled to the wedding venue in the countryside.

It was a relief, as the chaos that could be caused if someone saw them together and the news of their 'dating' spread around the airport was the last thing they needed.

In the parking lot, they rented a large, comfortable car, ideal for the road to the countryside. Lewis took the wheel with his usual confidence, while Y/n organized the GPS on her phone to guide them. The trip started smoothly, but they both knew that the real challenge was yet to come: convincing their families that they were really dating.

The landscape gradually changed, with buildings giving way to green fields and small picturesque villages. However, even with the beauty of the scenery, nervousness hovered between the two as they chatted to distract themselves.

"Okay, important question we forgot to discuss." Y/n looked at him. "What if someone asks why we haven't told the public and your fans yet?"

Lewis, without hesitation, responded as if he had been preparing the answer for years. "Simple. Let's say our relationship is a secret. We don't want to tell the public because we are prioritizing our privacy."

Y/n tilted her head, considering the answer, before nodding with a small smile. "That's a great plan, actually. I think it'll work."

Lewis raised an eyebrow and, with a smirk, added, "And if nothing works, we can just run away and hide in the field. Who's going to find us here?"

Y/n let out a soft laugh, shaking her head. "Great plan B, Hamilton. You really thought of everything."

"Of course!"

Despite the joke, they were both aware of the weight of the situation. Their nervousness increased as they approached their destination, as they knew that both the Hamiltons and the Grays would be there.

It wasn't just a challenge to deceive one family, it was two. They had to be on the same page in every detail, but they also had to hide their own conflicting feelings that seemed to threaten to collapse the theater they had created.

The road to the wedding venue was a picture-postcard scene. After miles of green fields and quaint villages, the large, rustic wooden gate finally loomed ahead, flanked by colorful flowers that swayed gently in the wind. Lewis slowed down, and as he passed through the gate, the sound of tires on gravel echoed down the driveway.

The music playing on the car radio made the moment even more perfect.

They drove down a narrow road lined with tall palm trees that created a natural corridor. The sun filtered through the leaves, casting dancing shadows across the hood of the car. In the distance, several small wooden houses appeared, their rustic roofs and balconies adorned with hanging flowers. A small lake glistened to the right, reflecting the blue sky and surrounded by well-tended lawns.

Lewis stopped the car in front of the group of cottages, the engine turning off with a soft rumble. The sound of gravel under the tires was replaced by birdsong and leaves rustling in the wind.

He noticed how restless Y/n was, her fingers playing with the fabric of her long dress. Without thinking twice, Lewis placed a comforting hand on her leg, smirking.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice calm. "If you don't want to do this, we can back out now. Just say the word."

Y/n took a deep breath and gave a nervous but determined smile. "No, I do. I'm just... a little tense. I think it's because I'm officially being promoted from 'best friend' to full-time 'girlfriend'."

Lewis chuckled, squeezing her leg lightly. "You're going to rock. Besides, they already love you. And how could they not, right?"

She rolled her eyes, trying to hide the growing smile. "Are you convincing me or yourself, Hamilton?"

While Lewis got out and opened the trunk to get the bags, Y/n stayed inside the car, observing the little houses more closely. It wasn't long before the excited voices of the families got closer.

The group of people emerged from the entrance of one of the larger cabins, the Hamiltons at the front, followed by the Grays, all smiling and waving.

Lewis's cousin ran up to him first, hugging him warmly. "Lewis! I'm so glad you're here! And... How's Y/n? We were so sad she couldn't come..."

Lewis gave an enigmatic smile, adjusting one of the suitcases on the floor. "Oh, about that..."

Before he could continue, his mother hugged him tightly, grinning from ear to ear. "And who is this special person you wanted us to meet? Are you hiding your game, son?"

He looked at her with a smile that was a mix of amusement and anticipation.

"Actually...you already know her."

At that moment, Y/n got out of the car, adjusting her clothes and walking to stand next to Lewis. Absolute silence took over the two families as everyone's eyes fixed on her, confused and surprised.

Lewis, noticing the nervousness that was beginning to show on Yin's face, gently pulled her by the waist, wrapping her in a side hug. He leaned in a little, whispering close to her ear.

"Relax. You look perfect."

Y/n smiled, the genuine gesture lighting up her face as she returned Lewis's warm gaze.

Finally, surprise began to give way to joy. Lewis's sister was the first to react, letting out an excited scream.

"Wait... you two?! Are you serious?!"

"You said you couldn't come!" One of them says, smiling at Y/n.

"Yeah... surprise..." Y/n smiles, raising her arms. "It was all part of our plan."

They are left open-mouthed with surprise and happiness.

"So Y/n. My sister. Is that the secret person you brought to the wedding?" The physical therapist's brother asks Lewis, still in shock.

Lewis laughs, agreeing with him.

Y/n's parents exchange glances with Lewis's mother. They were surprised but happy with the revelation.

"Why didn't you tell us before?! This is amazing!"

"Oh, you know how the media is, right?" Y/n shuffles her foot uncomfortably on the floor, giving a shy smile.

"Well, I must admit we've been waiting for something like this for a while now." Says Anne, Y/n's mother.

Y/n's father nodded, crossing his arms. "You two have always been so close. It was only a matter of time, wasn't it?"

Carmen laughed softly, excited. "I knew it! I always felt like there was something more between you two, you've been close since you were little. But you hide it well, huh?"

Lewis kept the smile on his face, even though he felt a slight tightness in his chest.

"We thought it would be more fun to reveal the truth when we were together in a special moment like this." He replied, keeping his tone light.

Y/n, although shaken by the families' words, managed to respond in the same tone.

"We wanted to keep things to just the two of us for a while. But with everyone here, it felt like the right time." She says, still hugging Lewis sideways, while squeezing his shoulder even tighter. "And we only ask for one thing, we don't want you to post photos or anything like that on the internet. We're still hiding from the media" Y/n smiles.

"Sure, sure!" Some say together.

"My mouth is a tomb" Y/n's brother says and they laugh.

"We'll keep it just in the family. We promise," Leo, Y/n's father says, placing his hand on Lewis' shoulder. "I'm so glad it's you."

Lewis smiles, his heart clenching even more. For a moment, he wanted all of this to be real, he wanted to admit his feelings to Y/n here and now. But he couldn't.

They both exchanged quick, knowing glances, trying to align themselves emotionally while they digested the weight of those reactions.

The families’ words, so full of affection and anticipation, created a bittersweet feeling. They were happy to see their loved ones so excited, but the weight of the lie hung between them.

Suddenly, Lewis' sister's fiance appeared from behind the group, as they congratulated the newest couple who brought together families that had been close for years, with a smile on their faces.

"Wait, wait, who's our pilot's girlfriend?" As he approached and finally saw Y/n, he stopped in place. His eyes widened as he processed the scene. "Are you... serious?" He looked at Lewis, then at Y/n, and shook his head with a smile of disbelief. "I just can't believe you two are together! Childhood best friends... who would have thought it would end like this?!" He hugged the couple at once.

Lewis frowns a little, not expecting this reaction from the man who made the most fun of his love life.

As the families continued to react, commenting on how they had always waited for this moment, Y/n and Lewis felt their hearts heavy,

The words of support and the looks of joy were genuine, and it shook them in different ways. As much as it was all an act, they were both realizing that the lie was becoming much more emotional than they had anticipated.

The Hamilton and Gray families couldn't contain their excitement as they guided Lewis and Y/n towards the cabin where they would be staying. Excited comments, laughter, and questions flowed in all directions, creating a warm and chaotic atmosphere.

Lewis, carrying the two suitcases, calmly followed the group, occasionally casting an amused glance at Y/n.

She, in turn, answered the questions naturally, following the script they had agreed upon, but her smile revealed a slight nervousness that only Lewis seemed to notice.

"So, Y/n, how did you finally get Lewis to commit?" His aunt asked, laughing.

Y/n smiled, pretending to think. "Ah, it was hard. He's a serious case, but in the end, who can resist, right?"

Laughter echoed through the group as Lewis shook his head, feigning indignation but with a smile on his face.

When they finally arrived at the little house where they would stay, everyone stopped for a moment to admire the place. The people stayed there, only the couple's mothers and Lewis's sister went up the stone stairs with the couple, to the small house where they would stay.

It was a small but incredibly cozy cottage, with light wooden walls and large windows that offered a stunning view of the lake next door. Colorful flowers decorated the path to the entrance, and the soft sound of water completed the tranquility of the environment.

Lewis's sister was the first to speak, handing the key to her brother with a mischievous smile.

"Here it is! You two are going to love this place. And honestly, I knew this day would come. It just takes time..."

"Shut up," Lewis interrupted in a whisper, giving her a sharp look, but with a slight hint of humor. The sister laughed, as she knew her brother had feelings for her best friend.

But the thing she didn't know was that the relationship was fake.

Lewis’s mother interjected softly, turning around with a warm smile. Anne was beside her, smiling too. They were so immersed in a conversation about flowers that they didn’t even hear the two brothers teasing each other.

"We'll leave you alone to explore the cabin. Take the opportunity to settle in and rest a little."

"Thank you" Y/n smiles.

The two of them were silent as they watched their mothers and sister walk away, giving each other expectant looks and knowing smiles before disappearing down the path.

When the last one disappeared from sight, Lewis handed the key to Y/n.

"Your turn," he said, with a smile.

Y/n took the key and opened the door, revealing a spacious and tastefully decorated room. The bed, large and comfortable, was adorned with a cute kit, a bottle of wine, two glasses and chocolates and rose petals spread across the entire surface. The windows looked out over the lake, with the reflection of the sky creating a soft, almost magical glow on the water.

Y/n chuckled as she saw the decor, walking slowly around the room as she took in the details.

They really went all out for a couple in love...

She thought, amused by the irony of living this with Lewis.

Lewis followed close behind, dropping his bags by the door and chuckling at the sight of the room. "Well, they've definitely gone overboard on the romantic thing. I think they're expecting an engagement announcement tomorrow."

Y/n chuckled, giving him an amused look.

"You think? I think we forgot to include that in the script."

Lewis watched her reaction, the sincere smile that lit up Y/n's face, and took a few steps towards her.

"You know we can deny anything at any time, right? You just have to say the word, and we'll be done with it.

He was so close that Y/n felt her heart race. When he reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, the gentle touch made her breath catch for a moment.

Y/n sighed lightly, trying to regain control, and gave a nervous smile. "And miss the chance to see more reactions from our families? No way."

They laughed together, but deep down, Y/n knew the truth was different. Being there, pretending to be something more with Lewis, made her feel something different, as if, for a weekend, she could experience what it was like to have him not only as a best friend, but as something more.

The thought made her look away for a moment, while the smile remained on her lips.

They came back to reality when several knocks on the door interrupted the silence, with two soft children's voices.

"Uncle Lew! Uncle Lew. We heard you're dating Aunt Y/n!!" The knocking continued, making the fake couple inside the room laugh. "Open up! Open up! We want to see her!"

Lewis and Y/n laugh, walking away and the pilot walking to the door.

"Are we going to have to lie to your nephews too?" She whispers, walking to the door as well, a pout on her lips.

"Unfortunately, dear." Lewis smiles and then opens the door, with the two children entering and running to hug Y/n. "Hey, what about me?"

The children laugh.

••••••••••••••••••••

Next day.

Lewis and Y/n's first day as a fake couple in the presence of both families was a constant test. Between forced smiles that gradually seemed natural and rehearsed responses, the two needed absolute harmony.

Early in the morning, while they were having coffee together with their families, someone asked how they divided up the house. Y/n hesitated for a second, but Lewis, without missing a beat, replied that she was responsible for meals and he was responsible for breakfast.

She gave him a surprised look, but soon joined in the joke, laughing and saying that he overdid it with salt. The lightness of the moment drew laughter from her relatives, but inside, their hearts were racing.

Later, while walking in the countryside with their cousins and childhood friends and Lewis's sister, the subject turned to their first kiss.

Y/n tried to hide it, but Lewis held her hand and gave her a knowing look. He began to describe exactly how they had agreed weeks before, even adding something extra as he spoke excitedly, as if it were real. She followed his story, laughing inside at how he could tell something so convincing.

There were also nervous moments, like when Y/n's grandmother suggested, "You guys should start thinking about having kids. With a connection like that, the kids would be beautiful!"

They both laughed nervously, trying to change the subject, while feeling the heat rise to their faces.

But as challenging as it was, spending the day together as a fake couple also made them realize how much they knew each other and how compatible they were.

The shared laughter, the exchanged glances and the ease with which they dealt with delicate situations only reinforced what they were both afraid to admit: this was starting to feel frighteningly real.

Night came, and in the cabin, Y/n finished applying her makeup in front of a mirror while Lewis sat on the edge of the bed, adjusting the laces of his white sneakers.

The room was lit with a soft light, and the open curtains revealed a view of trees lit by small lanterns scattered across the field.

"I finally got John to stop interrogating me." Lewis commented casually, looking at Y/n in the mirror.

She smiled as she put away her lipstick. "That's because you basically implied that I won you over with my irresistible charm."

"It wasn't a lie," he whispered, looking at the floor with an amused smile.

Y/n stopped for a moment, she had listened. And then, he pretended to roll his eyes to hide the blush he felt. And he decided to ignore it and make another comment.

"But you know what..." She puts her makeup back in her bag. "Today at lunch he was looking at us like he knew something was wrong."

"John is suspicious by nature," Lewis said, standing up and releasing his braids from their updo. "But I think he's starting to accept it. Maybe he's even jealous." He stops at the mirror for a moment, next to Y/n, to fix his braided hair.

"Yeah, because dating you is a prize," Y/n joked, winking at him.

"And isn't it?" he retorted with a smile.

She rolls her eyes, pushing his silhouette away, making the pilot laugh.

"Come on, Hamilton! We have to leave now, so we don't get late." She walks to the bedroom door.

It should also be noted that it was their first night sleeping in the same bed as a fake couple, a fake couple. But still a couple.

Although it wasn't the first time they shared a bed, the circumstances were different now. As children, sleeping in the same bed was something innocent, nights at each other's houses after playing late, or even family trips where improvising a shared bed was part of the fun.

More recently, the comfortable intimacy was still there, as in the time when Mercedes forgot to reserve a room for Y/n during a Grand Prix. Without hesitation, he offered his room, and in the absence of sofas or extra beds, they ended up sleeping together. At the time, Y/n jokingly piled pillows in the middle of the bed, saying it was: "A security barrier to keep you from invading my space, Hamilton." He laughed, but respected it.

Now, though, things were different. They weren't kids anymore, nor were they innocent best friends sharing a space out of necessity. There was a new layer between them—the game they were playing, pretending to be a couple, and the pent-up feelings that seemed to be growing with each interaction.

When they were ready, the two left the cottage where their room was, and walked through the illuminated field. The dew-wet grass shone under the lantern lights.

Lewis, realizing that they were about to enter a place filled with happy looks from both families, stopped and extended his hand to his crush.

"Hold my hand. There's no point in us arriving separately."

Y/n frowned a little, but soon intertwined her fingers with his. The touch was warm and comfortable, and even though she knew it was part of the plan, she felt a tightness in her chest.

"You really take this seriously," she teased, giving the pilot's hand a gentle squeeze.

"I just want to look convincing," Lewis replied with a smile, but his eyes betrayed a deeper feeling. And Y/n noticed.

As they walked hand in hand, Y/n couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if this wasn't a theater.

The large space where the bride and groom's dinner would take place was stunning. Shades of cream, green and gold decorated the space, with tall floral arrangements on round tables and small lights hanging from the ceiling, creating a magical atmosphere. The colors of the wedding invitation were present in every detail, from the napkins to the chairs decorated with bows.

Y/n was wearing a long black and white crochet dress, with firm stitches so that no part of her body was visible and this highlighted her curves in the right way, matching perfectly with her heels. Lewis, on the other hand, looked impeccable in a formal suit, a white button-down shirt, dress pants and a pair of classic sneakers on his feet.

When they walked in, hand in hand, all eyes turned to them. Family and friends of the bride and groom, who had arrived that morning, began to smile.

"They're perfect together," Hamilton commented.

"I always knew this would happen," Y/n's younger brother whispers to his girlfriend.

Y/n felt heat rise on her skin as she heard the comments, while Lewis lightly squeezed her hand. They both exchanged quick glances, almost as if trying to confirm what the other was feeling.

"They really look like a couple in love," Anne, Y/n's mother commented to Carmen, who agreed with a proud smile.

Y/n and Lewis heard enough to feel the weight of the words. The comments were sweet, but they carried with them a truth that they were both beginning to face and for a moment, the desire to confess how they felt grew.

However, silently, they both decided to keep everything as it was, at least for now. After all, the confusion in their hearts was already enough to deal with without adding new layers to that delicately constructed lie.

Lewis and Y/n walked through the room, hand in hand as if they were a long-time couple in love, until they found their designated table. There were Carmen, Y/n's parents and brothers, beyond the space reserved for them.

The conversations at the table died down for a moment as the couple approached, and everyone's eyes turned to them.

"You both look radiant tonight," Anne commented with a warm smile. "As if the paths were set in stone from motherhood."

Literally. They were born in the same maternity ward, with Y/n arriving into the world a week apart from Lewis.

Carmen, sitting nearby, nodded as she studied the two. "Seriously, son, I've never seen you this happy. And you, Y/n, look stunning. We're lucky to have you officially in the family now."

Y/n felt like she was going to cry at Hamilton's mother's sweet words, while Lewis, always confident, just thanked her with a smile.

However, the look they exchanged immediately afterwards was full of meaning, a half-smile of complicity, mixed with something that not even they themselves could admit.

A short time later, Lewis's sister, who had been walking around the room greeting guests, stopped behind him, placing her hands on her brother's shoulders.

"I knew this moment would come. You've finally officially united our families, and not just because of your friendship. I'm so happy." With a wide smile, she looked at Y/n.

The families around laughed, agreeing with comments of joy and satisfaction. Y/n gave Lewis a quick glance, and he returned the gesture, both smiling sideways, with the pilot's hand on her knee, as a comforting way, but with their thoughts racing.

As comforting as it was to see the happy families, the weight of the lie and the intensity of their own feelings were starting to become difficult to ignore. What had once been just planned theater was becoming something more complicated and emotionally challenging.

Dinner was lively, with impeccable dishes being served while conversations flowed around the table. However, for Lewis and Y/n, the evening began to become a mix of fun and tension. They talked, laughed and even told the story they had rehearsed weeks before about how they started dating, when someone at the table asked.

As the glasses of wine and champagne were emptied, the emotional barrier between them seemed to disappear. They both knew they were drinking more than they should, perhaps as a way to numb the feelings that were becoming more and more evident.

Between laughs and long glances, they let out small gestures that seemed genuinely in love, even though they knew they were exaggerating for the audience around them. But deep down, maybe they weren't just pretending.

By the time dinner was over and the music started playing, Lewis and Y/n were both drunk. He pulled her closer, mumbling something about how beautiful she looked that night, while Y/n, unable to contain herself, laughed and replied something equally affectionate. They were both openly flirting now, under the guise of drinking and pretense.

But of course, with all the alcohol they had consumed, something was bound to get out of hand.

Now, hours and hours after dinner was over and everyone had returned to their rooms, the fake couple's room was filled with mess, pillows, cushions and clothes they had used before, thrown on the floor.

Y/n was wrapped in a blanket, staring at the wall in front of her. The large tattoo she had on her collarbone was on full display, shining beneath the dim light of the room, while her hair was a mess. Because the pilot made sure to run his fingers over every inch of her body.

Lewis, on the other hand, had the blanket around his waist, his arms crossed on his lap, while the tattoos on his bare chest were also exposed. He looked at the clothes scattered on the floor, absorbing everything that had happened in the last few hours and how he had had sex with his best friend. I mean, the love of his life. Of course.

They were still slightly drunk, but they were sure to remember this event the next morning.

"That was crazy," Y/n says quietly, turning her head to look at Lewis.

The pilot turns around, but still leaning against the headboard. "Crazy. But good...very goooood. Great!" He emphasizes and Y/n widens her eyes, slowly nodding.

"Definitely," she says, pulling the sheet up. And biting her bottom lip.

They look back where they were looking before, until Y/n turns to him, with a questioning look now.

"Do you want to go again? I feel like I'm still a little drunk to ask the question."

"Of course!" He says without a second thought, pulling her into a hot, passionate kiss.

•••••••••••••••••••••••

Lewis's sister's wedding day.

Y/n woke up with the first rays of sunlight hitting her face. She opened her eyes and felt an arm around her waist, while a hand was stuck in her hair and her legs were tangled with Lewis's.

Then she lets out a sigh, remembering the night before. She had slept with Lewis. And not in the lie-down-close-your-eyes-and-sleep sense. In the sense that they had sex. Drunken sex.

An involuntary smile left her lips, even though she thought it was wrong.

She got up quickly, trying not to make any noise so as not to wake Lewis. The wedding was late in the morning, and the women of the families had already arranged to get ready together.

She put on whatever clothes were in her suitcase and left, ignoring her dress lying on the floor next to Lewis's discarded clothes as well.

The pilot woke up some time later, alone. Y/n's side of the bed was already cold. He ran his hand over his face, feeling his head a little heavy, and looked around. Their clothes were thrown on the floor, a reminder of the night before. He lay back on the bed for a moment, staring at the ceiling, as flashes of the night before passed through his mind. Y/n's laughter, the intense looks, the touches, the kisses.

The line between fake and real had definitely been crossed, and that left something undeniably different between them.

And Y/n seemed to do her best to avoid Lewis.

Whenever he came near, she found an excuse to leave, her face flushing slightly as she remembered what they had done. Despite her calm exterior, inside, she was a whirlwind. The idea of being so close to Lewis now made her nervous, not in a bad way.

While she was being made up, Lewis finally found her alone, waiting for the make-up artist, who had gone out to get something. He walked into the room with a somewhat hesitant but determined expression.

"Hey!" He smiles.

Y/n opens her eyes and leans back in her chair, seeing Lewis there. And then, her heart starts to race faster and faster.

"Hey!" She smiles, trying not to look nervous.

"The day dawned beautiful today for the wedding," he says relaxedly, trying to make the tension go away after what happened last night.

"Yeah. Your sister must be happy with the sun coming out." Y/n looked at the green robe she was wearing and lightly poked the fabric.

Lewis nods and looks at the woman. He sighs deeply before finally speaking.

"About yesterday..." He began, looking at her.

"We had too much to drink, Lewis. It was crazy," she says quickly, but never hinting at regret.

Lewis shakes his head. "Sure, that. It was crazy." He says gesturing with his hands.

The two remain silent for a while, looking at each other and remembering what they did last night. They would confess some time later, that that night was the best they had in their lives.

"Okay. I'll be going then. You need to put on your makeup and I need to get ready too." Lewis says and Y/n nods, swallowing hard. "See you at the wedding."

"Sure, sure. Yes." She says trying not to sound nervous, but clearly failing. Lewis smiles at that.

"See you later, doll" He winks, leaving Y/n completely dizzy in the room.

She leans back in her chair again, sighing and biting her lower lip as her mind races through memories of Lewis roaming her body.

They both knew that this was more than just the effects of the drink. They had crossed the line between friendship and theater, and that was something they couldn't ignore.

When the wedding finally arrived, the setting looked like something out of a fairy tale. The altar was set in an open field, surrounded by flowering trees that swayed gently in the wind. White chairs were arranged in perfect rows, decorated with small flower arrangements that matched the palette of the invitation.

The guests took their seats and the groomsmen and bridesmaids walked down the aisle. Lewis, as his sister's best man, walked in with one of his cousins, flashing an easy, confident smile.

However, as he passed by the row where Y/n was sitting, his eyes found her. The passionate look he gave her was impossible to ignore. Y/n, feeling the impact of that, smiled back, showing a look full of affection and love. She winked with one eye and Lewis laughed lightly, walking to the altar.

The bride appeared next, causing the guests to gasp. She looked radiant, and the groom, visibly moved, was waiting for her at the altar. When the ceremony began, the environment was permeated with an almost palpable energy. Y/n, sitting among her family, couldn't hold back her tears as the vows were exchanged. She wiped her tears casually with her fingertips, but Lewis from the altar noticed and couldn't help but smile softly.

During the ceremony, Lewis and Y/n's eyes met more than once. It was as if they were having a silent conversation, full of feelings that could not be expressed there. At a moment when the vows were especially emotional, Lewis leaned a little to the side and, almost imperceptibly, whispered:

"I love you."

The words were spoken with such sincerity that they hit Y/n hard. She felt a lump form in her throat as more tears welled up in her eyes. Pretending to still be emotional about the ceremony, she lowered her head to hide it, but her heart was beating fast.

And of course, when the bride and groom accepted the engagement, Lewis couldn't help but imagine what it would be like if it were him and Y/n there at the altar. She in a beautiful and expensive white wedding dress, with tears streaming down her face as he placed the ring on her finger and declared all his love for the girl - now woman, who he had loved since they were children.

And they both knew that this was beyond acting, and maybe it was finally time to stop pretending.

The bride and groom’s reception was as enchanting as the ceremony had been. Under a blue sky with clouds, a vast open space in the countryside hosted the celebration. Rows of flowers hanging from wires softly highlighted the surroundings, creating a magical atmosphere. In the background, the lake reflected the brightness of the sun’s rays.

Y/n was deep in conversation about her work with some of Lewis’s aunts and cousins. They seemed fascinated by her stories and asked questions, while she responded with a warm and excited smile, gesturing to emphasize her points.

Meanwhile, Lewis watched her from afar, with a soft smile on his face. The pilot approached and lightly touched her arm, catching her attention.

Y/n turned around, smiling when she saw him.

"Hey, could I borrow my Y/n for a little while?" He asked, his voice light but his eyes filled with something deeper.

Lewis's cousins smiled knowingly and nodded quickly. "Sure, we'll talk later, Y/n," they said, leaving the couple alone.

Y/n agreed smiling, watching them leave until they were far away from her and Hamilton.

The Mercedes team physiotherapist turned her gaze to Lewis, the smile still on her face, but her heart already starting to race as she noticed how stunning he looked in that impeccable outfit.

She sipped some champagne from her glass and joked, "What do you want from me, Sir Lewis Hamilton?"

He rolled his eyes slightly, laughing.

"I want to talk to you," he said, his voice lower, almost hesitant, but carrying an intensity that made her alert.

She nodded, her eyes scanning his face as he stepped closer. His unmistakable scent invaded her senses, and Y/n felt a warmth grow in her chest.

"But... away from people," he added, giving her a quiet smile.

Y/n frowned slightly, puzzled, but tried to appear calm. She set the glass down on the nearest table and followed Lewis. He held her hand firmly, his fingers intertwined with hers, gently pulling her through the flower field.

They walked towards the lake, where a small wooden bridge spanned the serene water. The structure was decorated with small arrangements of white flowers, reflecting in the lake like stars dancing on the surface.

Y/n felt her heart beating fast, both because of the scenery and because of Lewis's presence beside her. He stopped in the middle of the bridge, slowly letting go of her hand and leaning against the railing, looking out at the water. She stood next to him, leaning against the railing too, feeling the cool breeze caress her skin and his eyes meet hers.

"Why did you bring me here?" She asked, her voice shaking slightly, trying to maintain her composure, but already beginning to imagine what would come next.

Lewis took a deep breath, his gaze so sincere and vulnerable that it made Y/n hold her breath. He knew it was now or never.

His gaze was more intense than ever, as if he was gathering the courage to say something he had been holding back for a long time.

"Lewis??" She asked, but he held up his hand, as if asking for a moment to speak.

"Just listen to me for a minute, okay?" He took a deep breath, looking away from the lake for a moment before turning back to her. "I've thought of a thousand ways to say this. Actually, I've tried not to say it. I've tried to convince myself that this was a stupid idea, that it could ruin everything, but..." He paused, laughing humorlessly. "After last night... I can't pretend it's not happening anymore. I've never been good with words when it comes to you. But you've always been more than just my best friend, Y/n. Ever since we were kids, I felt something about you that I didn't know exactly what it meant, but then when we reached adolescence, I realized that I loved you. I loved you as more than a best friend... I was already crazy about you. And I tried to put it aside because I thought it was the right thing to do, because you were too important to risk. But now... Now I'm here, in the middle of this bridge, and all I can think is that if I don't tell you how I feel, I'll regret it for the rest of my life... Y/n Gray, I love you. With every fiber of my being, I love you. And I'm not saying this as a friend, I'm saying this as someone who wants to cross that line, who wants to be your boyfriend, fiancé, husband and father of our babies. And if I'm messing this up, just slap me in the face and yell at me, and I'll understand too..."

Y/n laughed at the last sentence and bit her lips, as if trying to stop the tears from falling violently from her eyes. God, she had been waiting for this confession for years, and lately she thought it would never come, but here they are, declaring their love for each other.

"I'm not going to slap you or yell at you." She laughs, wiping away her tears. "On the contrary, I'm going to tell you that I love you too. Because yes, I love you, Lewis Hamilton. I love you beyond friendship, beyond everything we've been for 35 years. I love you romantically, and I also hope to be your girlfriend, fiancée, wife, and mother of our babies." She smiles, now with Lewis smiling and tears falling from his eyes. "And I confess that I tried to ignore that too. For years. I convinced myself that you deserved more, that our friendship was enough, that it wasn't worth risking." She laughs softly, the sound almost sad. "But I think last night took away all the excuses I had... That we had."

He lifted one hand, cupping her face gently, his thumb tracing a gentle path across her cheek.

"So maybe... we can stop risking everything by just being friends."

She laughed, a lone tear escaping, and Lewis quickly wiped it away. "Is that your way of saying you want us to stop pretending?"

"It's my way of saying that I don't want to pretend with you anymore," he replied, leaning in slowly.

Y/n closed her eyes, her heart beating so fast it seemed to echo in the silence around her. And then, his lips met hers, warm, soft and full of everything they had kept for years. It was a kiss that didn't need words, a different kiss than the one from the night before. Less drunk and rushed.

Y/n smiles between the kiss, when she feels Lewis's hand move further down her back.

When they pull apart, Lewis sees Y/n's loving gaze. "Well, is it too early to ask you out for real?"

She smiles, shaking her head.

"Okay then," he kneels down. "I don't have a ring here right now, but Y/n Gray... Will you date me? Officially? No rehearsed lines or plans in a notebook?"

Y/n laughs, crouching down a little. "Yes, Lew. I accept!" She smiles.

Lewis quickly gets up, picking Y/n up and spinning her around in the air, giving her several little kisses on the face before placing her on the ground and pulling her into a tight hug. With Y/n's face buried in the pilot's neck.

"You know what?" Lewis asks and Y/n questions. "The sex yesterday was good!"

She stands up, looking at him in disbelief, while having a mischievous smile on her face. Y/n lightly hits her boyfriend's chest.

"Hey, can you stop ruining cute moments like this with dirty comments?" She teases, making Lewis laugh and pull her into his embrace.

And after years and years, the two finally felt complete and with a weight off their bodies. They finally belonged to each other.

#fanfiction #y/n #romance #imagines #marriage #one shot #formula 1 #formula one #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton #fem reader #lovers

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theonetheycallhannah · 4 years ago

Text

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 20: Second Assist

Characters: Captain Logan “Sy” Syverson, Shane Benton (OFC), various other original supporting/secondary characters

Summary: Shane reunites with friends and family, hashes out some feelings, and gets real with Sy. Can their relationship survive her trauma? And the threat that still looms above them?

Romance and Smut Abound HERE!

Word Count: 4500

Warnings: Mention of rape, alcoholic beverages, violent imagery…feels out the butt.

Author’s Note: You guys are so splendid and beautiful! I can’t thank you enough for your support and encouragement to finish this piece. First, welcome to new readers! I know poor Henry’s injury and subsequent physiotherapy has driven some of you here, and while I’m sorry for him, I’m glad I can consider myself something of a pioneer in this particular genre and provide you some help for your newfound thirst. To my OG readers, it is to you I owe this entire work, parts written and incomplete, and I hope an eventual book deal. I mean to mention you in my acknowledgements, should this ever reach a willing publisher. You’ve inspired me so supremely that I cannot quantify it, even with the words I hold so dear.

Since my last chapter was posted, we’ve said a relieved goodbye to 2020 and a tentative hello to 2021. To be honest, this year has started out worse than last year. Lots of bad weather in my area this winter, my sister is currently on her way to a new life in another state, and my grandmother, the last grandparent I had, passed away in February. Those last two things have been especially difficult to shake off and recover from, both coming to fruition pretty suddenly. Amongst all that, I’ve been pretty distracted by my other fandoms, especially Marvel, and I’ve been reading a killer book series that I’m utterly in love with. (The Throne of Glass novels by Sarah J. Maas. 10/10 recommend.) But I knew I needed to get back into Shane and Sy’s story, especially given the new and rekindled interest in the subject matter. In all honesty, I’ve had most of it written for months. It’s just been a matter of finishing it off to set up the rest of the story.

I really hope you all enjoy Chapter 20, Second Assist, and would love your feedback and notes. You are all so important to this story, and your notes, reblogs, and comments are cherished. Thank you so much for reading! Love from Hannah!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism. This is an original work by me, Hannah. Please reblog if you wish to share. Please do not repost either in whole or part, as the work of anyone but myself. Thanks so much for reading!

Tags:

@onlyhenrys @cavillryarchive @summersong69 @titty-teetee @bloodyinspiredfuck @agniavateira@oddsnendsfanfics @omgkatinka @thisismysecretthirstblog @speakerforthedead0 @tumblnewby @suavechops @radkesgirl83 @wheretheriversrunintothesea @heartfelt-pen @auds24 @geekycanuck @lunarstarknight @wilma-g @coldmuffinbanditshoe @feralrunaway @sugarpenchant @bichibibi @mzchievous-blog @shesakillerkween @madbadidc7ed @foodieforthoughts @toomanyfandomsshreya @oqueequesentes-borboletas @kebabgirl67 @indigosaurus (some of you new readers didn’t ask, but I took the liberty. If you want me to remove you, I totally will without hard feelings.)

If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@

Shane woke in her warm bed, late morning sun streaming in through her sheer curtains, the heavier drapes parted to let in the light. She wished she'd remembered to close them before now. She really was not ready to be awake.

She was sore. Achy. Her sleep had been fitful and full of shadowy nightmares and muffled screams. Beyond that, she didn't try to remember images or events. She knew the general premise of the dreams. It would take a lot of time, effort, or a miracle to make her forget those traumas she'd been through in the last week. Not even forget. She knew she never would. But move on from them. Accept them. And heal from them…even that seemed a mighty obstacle. One she was not sure she could surmount.

Through the open bedroom door, she could hear Lynyrd Skynyrd and the clanging and sizzling of pans, and she could smell bacon and freshly brewed coffee. Sy had left the room, but had not, it seemed, gone far. She gingerly sat up, stood from the bed, and donned her robe as she walked out into the hall and down the corridor to the kitchen.

The sight before her warmed her heart. There was Sy. In only his boxers, daringly frying the notoriously dangerous breakfast meat. Upon her entry to the kitchen, she could also smell pancakes, and she thought syrup, as well. He seemed to be warming a bottle of the maple unction in a pot of hot water. He turned as she stepped on a squeaky floorboard, and grinned widely at her.

"Mornin' sunshine." And she was struck by the irony of someone with such a radiant smile calling her sunshine. Especially when she didn't feel much like beaming. But she couldn't help return the expression, even through her pain.

"Mornin' bear. Did you go to the store?" She knew she couldn't have any bacon in her fridge, and she doubted her eggs and milk were still good at this point. But she also couldn't think that he would leave her for any reason.

"Nah, some of the guys brought over some provisions. Matt worked on your car all night, too, and filled up the tank. It's as good as new. He and Nate brought ‘er over as well as the groceries. I just had ‘em get stuff I knew your family wouldn't be bringing later. They've had tons of food given to them this week, and they're ready to share. You should have seen your mom loading me down with sandwiches and chips and whatnot when I visited them."

"I still can't believe you met them. I really wanted to introduce you personally." Shane's face fell. She would never be able to get that back. She wanted to cry. Sy had poured her a cup of coffee and sat it in front of her with her favorite creamer.

"Darlin' I’m so sorry. I had to talk to them."

"I know." she sniffed. "I'm not mad. Not at you. Just…"she didn't want to say Elliott's name. "I'm disappointed that the experience was stolen from me." That so many things had been stolen from her. By that monster. There was no other way to describe him. Sy growled. As if he could read her mind. He really just knew her well enough and shared her thoughts.

"Well, don't worry, we'll have a nice dinner with them one of these days, and we can pretend. Sound good?"

"Yeah, and I can feign nervousness." she laughed.

"And I'll pretend too. That I'm scared to meet your dad." he chuckled. "What if he threatens me with his shotgun?"

"I'll pull the ol' 'Daddy, no, I loooooove him!' line, as I throw myself between you!"

"That oughta work." he laughed and kissed her on the forehead as he stepped toward the stove and flipped a pancake.

As they sat eating their late breakfast, Shane's mind wandered. Nothing had changed on the surface, but everything was different now. This cozily mundane breakfast with her boyfriend felt like an out of body experience. As delicious as it was, as wonderful and comforting as it should feel, her guard was up. Even through her amiable façade. She was not the person she was two weeks ago. She was not the same woman who said goodbye to Sy at the base. Maybe that was the real transformation. Maybe that was why nothing felt normal. It wasn't the world, but her own self coming back into it.

"Shane?" Sy asked, gently, but it felt like he was speaking through a megaphone directly into her ear. She was so startled, she nearly dropped the half full mug of coffee that was paused midway to her lips. A bit sloshed out onto the table and splashed her shirt.

"Shit!" she chided herself. It wasn't a big deal, but she felt stupid jumping at the sound of her own name.

Sy reached for the closest towel, hanging from the oven handle, grabbed it and started for her clothes with it. She stopped him. But she couldn't think about why the intimate act made her uncomfortable.

"No, don't, it's fine. These clothes have seen better days, anyway." She pulled the towel from him and began to mop up the small puddles of coffee around her plate.

Sy seemed to note the stains already present on the shirt, as if trying to divine their history. She was something of a messy eater, so the battle wounds of many a barbecue, spaghetti dinner, and hurried breakfast peppered the now off-white SATB club tee she'd gotten her second or third year in college choir. She thought back to a huge room with high ceilings. White, cinder block walls, flecked tile floors, a beautiful, glossy, black baby grand in front of a long whiteboard with black lines to resemble sheet music. She thought about the mnemonic device she'd learned to help her remember what notes appeared on each line, and in the spaces between them. She pondered the deeper meanings and implications of these devices. EGBDF…every good boy does fine. She thought about the "good boys" in her life. She knew many. Her dad, her brother Ethan, Sy, obviously, her many male coworkers and friends…and honestly they did far better than "fine." They were wonderful. But she was letting the "bad boys" she'd encountered dictate her mood. Permeate her psyche. Tear her down. She didn't want to be like this. Then FACE came to mind, and above their purpose of indicating the notes between the lines on the staff, they called her to action. To face these newly minted demons with all the strength she knew she possessed, and she too would "do fine." But as with almost all actions, this was easier said than done.

She felt a warm presence on her left hand which had paused it's torture of the now coffee-infused kitchen towel. Sy's hand was squeezing hers gently.

"Shane." he uttered, barely above a whisper this time. She looked at him through tears that she had not realized had formed. He continued.

"Shane, what can I do, darlin'? I'll do anything."

"Babe, you're doing everything you can, and more. This…this is all going to have to come from me. I…don't know when I'll be myself again…" she paused, tears streaming now. "I'm…I'm different."

"You're not though." he reached for her face, but she pulled away.

"I am, damn it! Sy, I was…" Words had power. And the one she was thinking of had more power than she thought was warranted. She knew that uttering it would take away it's power…and yet mustering the courage and strength to actually do so…seemed impossible. She took a deep breath, and disassociated herself from the statement, even though it was about her own past.

"I was raped." She refused to cry. She felt it all again. She had never said the words. She had never thought it necessary. Everyone understood. Sy, his friends, and she was sure her own loved ones had made the connection. But she knew she needed to say it now to drive home the points she was about to make.

Sy, looked at the table, nodding, not needing to be told in so many words something he already had surmised from the clear evidence. He remained silent. She went on.

"I love you, Sy. I have since the day we met, on one level or another, and I believe that I always will. But I…right now I can't be a proper girlfriend to you. I can't…be with you, touch you, be touched by you, in the way we used to be. In the way you deserve…and I don't know when…or even if…I ever will. Not that I don't want to. That's ALL I want in the world. To go back. To be the woman who fell in love with this…incredible man. To make love with you, but…I can't."

Sy's eyes were full of tears, their predecessors already descending his round cheeks and disappearing into his thick, dark beard.

"Sy, I don't want to lead you on and keep you tied to a relationship with no life in it. You deserve someone who's whole. Someone who can be a fully invested partner for you, and not this broken, damaged--"

"You stop that, Shane. I won't hear no more of this kinda talk. Y'hear? You're my girl. My woman. My person. No matter what. You gotta know I'd never leave ya just cuz you aren't ready for sex again. You don't think that I would, do ya?"

"Well, you went to Virginia…you took that job…knowing the distance it would put between us. Literally and figuratively."

"Biggest mistake of my life." Shane raised her eyebrows in surprise as Sy elaborated. "I couldn't focus on my classes without wishing you were there. Wishing I could team up with you for discussions and hand to hand combat training…that thought got me a little too excited, if you catch my drift." He smirked, pulling a sheepish smile from Shane. "Then in that forest. I dreamt about you every night. I thought of you constantly. I could barely breath sometimes, I missed ya so damned much. I was an idiot. I was insane to think that I needed anything other than you. Any MORE. There IS no more. You're it. You're the MOST! The most important thing in my life."

The declaration hung like vapors in the air, more felt than seen. Tangible yet ethereal.

"And when I found out that you were missing…I was…well, I think I looked like death…and not warmed over. You can ask the program director I met with after I got the news. She could tell I was just sick over it. And as I thought about it on the way home, pieced things together, started thinking about who'd taken you, I got murderous. Shane, I have been in dozens of battles, skirmishes, firefights, you name it. War. But…the sheer bloodlust I felt thinking about what you could be going through…I've never experienced anything like it. Everything was red. Everything. For days. Until I saw you, alive. And then it went red again when I saw the fear and damage on your face." she could tell he was doing his best not to talk about the farmhouse and that basement, but she still flashed back to the moments before and after his appearance there. The moments when she simultaneously prayed to live and hoped to die.

"You don't owe me anything, Shane. I just want you in my life, and I don't care what your presence looks like. Romantic, platonic, or somewhere in between. I'm here for you. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Shane felt the urge to wrap her arms around her boyfriend, but could not seem to move more than one arm to place her other hand on top of his. She hoped the gratitude and love behind the small, but heartfelt gesture landed. It was all she had in that moment, no matter how abundant her affection.

~~~~~~~~~~

Shane's family's arrival was a complete blur to her. It was joyous, tearful, and the happiest she'd been in a long time. The moment she opened the front door for them, she was surrounded, engulfed with hugs from her parents and siblings. They stood in their affectionate huddle for several moments before Peg waved Sy over with marked insistence. He'd been standing by, observing happily, but not wanting to intrude on the familial reunion.

When they finally dispersed, John asked the two younger men to help him bring in groceries. The women headed into Shane's bedroom for a more private setting in which to talk. Shane filled her mother and sister in the best she could given the rawness of the wounds left on her mind by the events.

She leaned against the headboard cuddling with Gabby while her mom rubbed her feet. She had insisted on doing this thing that had always comforted her children, and made them feel much better when they were younger.

"Well, I'm very proud of you, pumpkin." The girls both looked at their mother, who rather uncharacteristically hadn't spoken in some time. Shane was nonplussed. Peg elaborated.

"You survived something that many women don't. You're talking about it now, which even more women don't. You may think you're broken, but you're just a tree damaged by a storm, but standing stronger than ever." Trust her mom to lay such wisdom on her. When she felt like giving up. When she just wanted pity. When she could only see defeat. Her mother had always found a way to encourage and buoy her and show her the victory.

"Mom's right." Gabby affirmed, and it was Peg's turn to be nonplussed, as the two women, though similar in so many ways, never seemed to see eye to eye. "It's true. Shane I've seen a lot of women come into the clinic in shoes very much like yours. And trust me…some of them…they don't make it to this point. You've got a long way to go before you're fully recovered, don't get me wrong, but you'll get there. You have us. And you have Sy."

"And then there's Sy." She diverted. "How am I supposed to plan any sort of future with him when…" She looked at her mom, and hesitated. Peg rolled her eyes.

"Shane, I know what the two of you get up to when you're alone. You don't have to be shy with me."

"Still…" she took a breath and spoke. "When I can't bring myself to…sleep with him?"

"Look at him, you're kidding, right?" Gabby chided, insensitively, but recanted at the pained expression on Shane's face. "Sorry, sis. Trying to lighten the mood a touch. Too soon. But seriously, I don't think this reluctance you feel will be permanent."

"And even if it is," Peg took over, "that man is out-of-his-mind in love with you, Shaney." She kissed Shane's toe before putting a sock on her foot. "He almost seems to worship you. Now, you know how I feel about using that term outside of religious context, but that is exactly the kind of love I want for you. Devout, and unconditional."

"But, mom, I can't--"

"Did you hear me? I said 'unconditional,' sweetie." Peg interrupted. "No matter what. No matter the obstacle. No matter the distance. No matter the circumstances. Love unwavering. That's what Sy has for you. I've seen it in him. Trust the momma."

The insistence her mother placed on trust had always ruffled Shane's feathers. Gabby's too, who she could feel stiffen slightly beside her. But Shane, for once, really wanted to trust her mother, hoping against hope that she was right. And that she, herself wouldn't screw up the best relationship she had ever been in or was likely to ever be in again.

The girls had begun talking about some of the coworkers who'd brought food in the past week, and Peg couldn't resist remarking on the character of her favorites and judging the ones she didn't care for…oddly enough, getting more or less, the correct measure of them, as Shane saw it.

After what must have been an hour from the time they'd arrived, they heard a knock on the slightly ajar bedroom door. John poked his head in.

"Ladies, we've put a casserole in the oven, and completed various manly projects around the house--"

"Oh, daddy, what projects?" She cringed. She hated that the men had felt the need to "fix" things.

"Babe, your guest bathroom had not one, but two leaky faucets, your kitchen table seemed to be more of a teeter-totter, and half the light bulbs in the living room were out. Among other tiny things. You're welcome." he smirked his crooked smirk so similar to her own, and she returned it as if he was looking in a mirror.

"Thanks, dad."

"Anyway, lunch is almost ready. So, when you've finished your confab, let's eat."

Dinner passed amiably, Shane found a reserve within herself to allow some quasi-normal behavior, as long as you didn’t look too closely. She was talking animatedly with her siblings, making their parents and Sy laugh riotously. Shane noticed some odd looks passing between Sy and her father, but chalked it up to paranoia. She wished at least Gabby and Ethan could stay, but Heather would be over soon, and she deserved her own dedicated time. Shane wanted to give that to her.

She said her farewells to her family with promises to visit them the next day, and at least one more time before her siblings went back home, if she could work it out.

Sy was so wonderful the whole time. Standing by her, a hand resting lightly on her shoulder as they waved goodbye to the departing vehicle. He made her feel so safe. They went into the kitchen and cleaned up from lunch. Well, Sy cleaned. Shane was texting Heather about when she'd be over.

"Heather says she'll be here in about a half hour. She's picking up wine and pizza." Shane told Sy without looking up from her phone. She could see out of the corner of her eye, though, that he had just closed the dishwasher and was selecting a cycle.

"Sounds great. Do you want me to get out of here? Give you guys some time, one on one?" He asked as he dried his hands, wet from preparing dishes for the machine.

She thought about it, and shuddered. She played a scene in her head that startled her. In her mind's eye, she saw Sy leave and then moments later heard a knock on the door. Presuming it was Heather, she opened the door with abandon, only to see Elliott standing there under a flickering porch light, smirking maliciously at her and ready to overpower and abduct her again. She shook the thought from her head, but remained uneasy as she answered his question.

"Uh, no. Thanks. I'm sure she'll want to talk to both of us. She likes you." Shane grinned softly at Sy in an attempt to mask her trepidation over the thought of him leaving her alone for any period of time. She thought it had worked.

"Okay, well, whatever you think, sunshine. I don't wanna get in the way." He was wiping down the countertops. She felt so impossibly full of love for him, she was starting to wonder how she hadn't yet burst with it. She couldn't bear the thought of holding him back from a fulfilling relationship. He deserved everything she couldn't give him right now. And she knew she should make him leave her. Cut him loose. But she was, as she'd been since she'd met him, a weak woman. She couldn't stand the thought of being without him. Of him no longer being hers. And somehow worse, of not being his, herself. She would always need him for so many reasons, not least of which being her love for him. Maybe one day, she'd recover from this trauma, and be able to be who he deserved. To give him what he needed.

"You're never in the way, bear." She walked up behind him, wrapped her arms around his middle and squeezed him as tight as she could. He placed a loving hand over hers, sighing and smiling, though she had no visual proof of the latter. It was just a feeling.

Heather's greeting was no less exuberant than that of Shane's family, but it was more joyful and less emotional, even though she was immensely relieved to see her best friend after so long. They talked as if no time had passed, and Shane mustered up the dregs of her former self to have one more interaction for the day. Thank God it was Heather and not someone who would require more. She wouldn't have it to give.

"I am so glad you're okay, Shane! Things around the clinic have been bleak as fuck. Susan is loosing her mind, Anita is beside herself with concern, and the rest of us just plain ol' miss the hell out of you. And not just because of all of the overtime everyone has been pulling to get your patients seen."

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry! I didn't realize…wow, I'm awful. I didn't even think---"

"That you'd be missed? Think again, sister. The place would fall apart if you ever really left. But don't feel guilty. It's the least everyone can do, and they've all said it themselves. We all love you, and know that you'd do the same for any of us if you could at all. Hopefully you won't have to, though!"

Shane nodded, eyes wide in agreement. She wouldn't wish the last week of her life on her worst enemy. On the worst person in the world. Except maybe the people responsible. Tit for tat.

"Well, I'm sorry my absence has caused extra work for all of you." Shane looked into the deep glass of Chardonnay Sy had poured her from the bottle Heather had brought. She felt about as small as the air bubble making it's way up the sloping curve of the stemless vessel. She felt a guilt that she knew was fully void of logic. It made no sense for her to feel guilt for being kidnapped. But she had always had this notion, this nagging voice in her head that told her that her misfortunes were a direct result of her decisions. That she'd inadvertently stepped on the butterfly that resulted in the monsoon she was currently experiencing, and whatever cataclysmic events she would face next.

"Why in God's name are you apologizing for this, Shay?" Heather's tone was kind, but still mildly scolding.

"If I'd never been with Elliott, none of this would have--"

"Bitch, are you a fortune teller?"

"No, but--"

"Soothsayer?"

"No."

"Time traveler?"

"I wish!" Shane chuckled. But she really did wish.

"Have you any real and proven success at consistently predicting the future?"

"I don't, but--"

"No. No buts. No howevers. You had no idea what becoming involved with Elliott could have done. Were there signs, sure. But you can't look on the past as a rubric to judge the quality of your decisions. You know that. You can only learn from your mistakes. And you have."

"Heather's right, sunshine. You really have learned. You look for Elliott's behaviors in mine and shut me down quick if you see 'em. You're not going to let yourself go down that road again. And I'm proud of you for it."

Shane silently worried her wine glass. It was hard to argue with such truth. But it was hard to agree when her own feelings were in such stark opposition. So she did neither.

"Well, I've preached my sermon for the day." she laughed. "I've taken up enough of your time. Oh, your phone. It's in my purse. I think it's fully charged, but I turned it off."

Shane thanked her friend, then Heather hugged them both and took her leave.

"Y'okay, bug?" Sy asked her after what she surmised was several minutes of silence. Minutes she didn't notice as they passed.

"Mmm…" she trailed off.

"Can I do something for ya?" And she really thought about the question. He could probably do a lot of things for her. He could make love to her until she felt whole again, even if it hurt her at first. Not an ideal option. He could probably get them both some new identities and enough money to spirit her away to somewhere her past wouldn't follow. If she became someone new, literally, would she have to bring that old baggage, those old scars, with her? Again, suboptimal. But he could definitely take the source of all grief and turmoil in her life far into the Missouri back country, somewhere not even the hunters would venture, some fallow field or forgotten cistern, and end him. Snuff out his spark of life like a candle caught in a tornado. Spill a fatal amount of his monstrous blood onto the unforgiving earth and send him to the Hell to which he was undoubtedly destined. But did she want that? Did she want another soul as a scar on that of the man she so deeply cherished? He'd say it was worth it. He'd say he'd take a thousand more for her. A million. That was Sy.

"Nothing comes to mind." She lied. And he knew it was a lie, but didn't push it. She was so grateful that he respected her, not for the lie itself, but for the reason she wasn't giving him the whole truth just now.

His phone went off and he picked it up as he stood from his seat at the table. She could only hear that it was Matt, the guy she thought she understood had the car place, before she heard tension in Sy's voice. Even from the next room, she could tell something was wrong, though he was talking too quietly for her to make out words.

She heard him suddenly shout a stream of profanities that he rarely said at all around her, at least, let alone together. There was a bang, and the walls of her kitchen quaked like the tectonic plates beneath them were shifting.

Sy walked back in, his face was red, as were his knuckles. He was shaking an injury out of his hand.

"What's wrong?" she asked, deep concern at his appearance and demeanor, suddenly ominous.

"I need to fix your wall in there." he grumbled, evading, without success. She'd be doing therapy on his hand, next.

"What's really wrong?" she repeated, sternly.

"That was Matt. Elliott's…escaped, somehow. He's in the wind."

Shane's heart became so heavy, she could almost feel it smashing through the kitchen floor and burying itself deep in the cement floor of her basement.

"Oh, God! No! What if he goes to the police!?"

"Fuck that, I'm more concerned about him coming after you!"

The two stared, faces full of equal measures of concern for the other.

Up Next: Chapter 21-Patient Education

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