#divider by lovwoung

[katabluu]

[binniebakery]

🇫​​🇱​​🇴​​🇺​​🇷​ ​🇫​​🇴​​🇷​ ​🇲​​🇾​ ​🇫​​🇱​​🇴​​🇼​​🇪​​🇷​? ❀🥐

Non Idol AU Soobin x Fem!Reader, Fluff!

♡ Summary: For years, Soobin has had the biggest crush on the daughter of the town's local bakery and flower shop. Just when Soobin decides he's comfortable settling with being acquaintances, a misunderstanding drives him to reveal the feelings he's kept hidden for so long! ♡ Recipe Ingredients: tooth rotting fluff, featuring yeonjun as soobin's unofficial rival, soobin pining, slight cursing!, not proofread ♡ Recipe Notes: guess whos baccck!? woo its FINALLY out! I'm so sorry for the wait everyone! this is probably the only wip that i was continuously motivated to write for.. so i hope this wasn't too cheesy >< enjoy!

It all started the first day he ever laid eyes on you.

That charming smile that captivated his attention the second he walked through the door, your face lighting up at the sound of the bell chiming at his arrival.

“Welcome to Flowers and Flour! How may I help you?”

It was over for him the moment your warm voice hit his ears, the tenderness and soft notes that brought immense joy to his day whenever he walked in.

Soobin was the son of the town’s local catering service. If he wasn’t busy with school, he was helping his mother organize her clients and help deliver and pick up orders for her on that moped his father got him for Christmas years ago.

You were the daughter of the town’s local bakery and flower shop. It was an odd combination really, a bakery downstairs with a flower shop running in the back? It worked well though, Soobin had more than one reason to visit you. His mom needed extra cupcakes for a wedding? He was always the first one to run to your shop. His mom wanted some flower decorations for an event? Once again, Soobin ran through the double doors of your establishment.

For as long as Soobin could remember, he had the biggest crush on you. It was obvious to everyone else in town, except for you.

Though he never really was good at flirting was he? Soobin’s first delivery was almost a disaster, he was 13 when he started helping his mom with her catering. Luck wasn’t on his side that day as he proceeded to fall off his bike and drop the entire box of dozen glazed donuts he was supposed to bring to a child’s birthday party.

Of course, he was a quick thinker. So the first thing Soobin did was bike his way over to the small bakery and flower shop his mother always worked with, rushing in through the doors as he was covered in cuts and bruises. It didn’t matter, no pain could be worse than the scolding he would get from his mother if she found out.

There you were, freshly, first day on the job and your father had just taught you how to use the cash register. You twiddled your thumbs nervously as he worked relentlessly in the back to finish baking that afternoon's set of cupcakes. 

So when you hear the familiar twinkle of bells ringing you feel the color melt off your face as you look up. This was your first day after all, what was the slogan your parents taught you to say to guests? Were you even supposed to take orders? You were only twelve!

“H- hi!.. Um.. welcome to flour and flower— no! Flowers with flour?...” You furrowed your eyebrows and look at the small napkin filled with your scribbled notes. “A- ah sorry! Um welcome to Flowers.. And Flour! H- how can I help you!?” Your voice shook as you sat straight up, giving your best (and awkwardest) smile.

You weren’t expecting there to be a boy with messy hair and cuts on his knees and a half-empty box of donuts standing in the doorway. The way his hoodie fit him slightly too big, something that he would grow into as he got older and taller. 

Slight sweat formed around his forehead and neck from the summer heat. His denim shorts wore a slight tear on the hem from the fall he had from his small bike. His cute button nose scrunched up as the stinging sensation on his knees reminded him of why he was there in the first place.

And Soobin wasn’t expecting such a pretty girl his age to be working the cash register.

“Uh– yes! Um..” Soobin sheepishly scratches the back of his neck as he looks around the bakery to avoid your large innocent eyes staring at him curiously. He’d never been inside actually, the colors were bright, sweet, and pastel– and most of all welcoming, just like your smile.

You’re tilting your head at the way the boy’s worn-out sneakers shifted in his spot. What were you supposed to do when a customer didn’t answer you?

“C- C-an.. um I..” Soobin’s face is flushed red and your eyebrows furrow together even deeper. Just as you are about to turn and call for your father to come help, Soobin immediately reaches over the counter, dropping the crushed donut box, and covers your mouth.

“Shhh!! D- don’t tell anyone! If an adult finds out they’ll tell my mom! And m- my mom cannot know about this” the young boy rambles. Your large eyes flicker between the door behind you leading to the kitchen and back to Soobin. You nod your head in agreement to say silent.

“S- sorry..” Soobin mumbles as he pulls away, wiping his hands on his baggy shorts. He explains everything to you, from the birthday party to his failure to properly ride a bike. You couldn’t help but feel pity for the boy. It was your first day too after all so you would definitely feel the same way if you were in his shoes.

“I think I can.. Maybe give you some donuts?” 

Now, looking back on this now as an adult, you would have charged the young man, or at least given him a discount. But.. as a young innocent pre-teen.. the thought didn’t cross your mind once.

After all, on your first day working you weren't expecting an odd, clumsy, and cute boy would pop up in the shop. So were you really going to be thinking rationally?

So you gave Soobin a fresh box of donuts right from the shelf. Even offered a muffin for his safe journey.  All for free.

Of course, your father notices the missing pastries, one thing leads to another and both you and Soobin end up getting into a lot of trouble.

What you didn’t know is that later that evening Soobin found himself thinking about the cute girl with pigtails that was almost too short to reach over the counter. Even blushing at the thought of seeing you again and vowing to himself he would marry that sweet girl who looked past his awkward exterior and gave him that gentle sunrise of a smile.

Years later, Soobin’s promise to himself is looking less and less possible by the day.

You looked forward to Soobin’s visits. Although you two weren’t close, you’ve always considered him to be a friend. Throughout the years, you managed to form a small bond with him whenever you had the chance to see him. You both went to different schools and were simply too shy to ever ask to hang out outside of the shop, so your relationship stayed the same.

“Hey y/n.” Soobin gives you a shy smile as you finish setting up the display for the morning. Perfect, just like you were. And with the way you turn to him, hair pulled in a messy ponytail, face flushed from the physical work, and apron wrapped perfectly tight around your waist, you couldn’t have gotten any better in Soobin’s eyes.

“Hi Soobie! Here for those muffins?” You chirp as you lean over the counter to greet him. His heart flutters at the nickname. No matter how many times you’ve said it, you always manage to make his heart stop. Nothing was better than your voice calling out his name, especially the nickname you gave specifically to him.

“Mhm, large company party I think? I’m not too sure. Apparently, the guy’s been really pushing my mom’s buttons with his demands.” His laugh is airy and soft and you can’t help but feel your cheeks warm from the way his dimples dig deep into his cheeks. Of course, the boy fails to notice.

“Ah, I see. Give Mrs. Choi my hellos then.” You giggle, handing Soobin several large boxes. Said boxes were indeed quite heavy, your delicate fingers almost dropping them as you handed them over.

“Sure will. Oh, careful–! Gotcha!” Soobin is quick to place his hands under yours, helping you lift the boxes. You look up at him with eyes wide and mouth agape, heart pumping rapidly from the sudden contact. Soobin mirrors your expression and the two of you stay that way in silence for a few seconds.

The young man blinks and immediately flushes once more, face heating up more when he realizes he was touching your hand for too long. “S- sorry! U- um.. I’ll see you later yeah? Have a good rest of your day y/n!” Soobin fumbles as he quickly shuffles out the door to his moped.

You mentally kick yourself for letting the seconds pass without saying anything and Soobin gently plops his forehead on the handle of his vehicle, debating on just slamming his head on a brick wall for settling with the silence.

It was always like this, constant instances where he would get the perfect chance to confess but he always failed to let his feelings reach you. So after years of failed attempts, he settles with what you have. He’s just happy he gets to see you.

⋆｡°♡

It was Friday, the first day of your town's weekend summer festival. Soobin’s mother was as busy as ever, therefore so was he in trying to help her get things done. 

“Soobin! Can you come here please? I need you to run an errand for me!” Mrs. Choi calls and Soobin comes shuffling in from his room, slightly groggy from the nap he just had.

“Yeah? What’s up?” He mumbles as he rubs his eyes, fluffy hair sticking out in all directions.

“Could you run down to the grocery store or the bakery? It doesn’t matter I just need you to buy me flour.” Mrs. Choi mumbles as she digs into multiple containers. “Mr. Phillips is running some baking event but he’s already at the fairgrounds so I’m doing this as a favor. Could you just bring it to him for me?”

Now, Soobin was content with his position in your life. He was just glad he was able to get to see you any chance he got, and that you were still single. He’s (not-so) casually questioned if you’ve had a boyfriend before, and with a strawberry-red face you mumbled about your failed love life.

Don’t get him wrong– Soobin would always support you as long as you were happy, but something inside him feels a sense of relief knowing that there’s somewhat of a chance for him.

So of course instead of going to the closest grocery store, he’s going to stop by your place all the way across town to pick up some flour.

Soobin speeds down the street as quickly as the law would allow him. His anxious fingers tapped the handle of his moped as he waited for the light to turn green.

The festival was on your side of town, so the streets were busy, therefore causing horrible traffic as a result. Soobin groans as he taps his foot impatiently, here’s to another day where he was the cause of his own downfall!

It takes 15 minutes to reach that familiar street he grew to love. The festival around the area begins to grow more lively and both the bakery and flower shop seem to be flooded with visitors.

Soobin feels himself tensing up as he approaches the glass double doors that lead inside the bakery.

The bell rings as he makes his way inside, but the loud buzz of people’s demands and your poor mother running around the floor delivering orders as you ring up the other customers distracts you from noticing the tall boy. Your father bursts through the door right after Soobin, boxes with vases waiting to be decorated and used for arrangements in his arms. Soobin nods a hello. “Hey there Soobin! Nice seeing you!” He shouts above the noise with a grin. “I’m a little busy right now so I’m afraid I can’t help you with anything! Y/n is right over there if you need something!” He nods towards your direction and rushes past the doors leading to the flower shop. Soobin’s face holds a puzzled smile and he glances towards the checkout counter you were currently standing at.

That’s when he sees the bane of his existence. Soobin’s worst nightmare. Choi Yeonjun.

Soobin didn’t speak to Yeonjun often, but he knew two very important things that were all he needed. That Yeonjun was interested in you, and him and Soobin went to the same school. (Soobin cringes at the possibility of Yeonjun ever going to the same school as you. He’s thankful.) Yeonjun would visit your dad’s flower shop often. Even going as far as hinting multiple times if you’d like to go on a date. Luckily for Soobin, you never got the hint– and unfortunately for Soobin, that just made Yeonjun want to try harder.

What made Soobin tick even more was that Yeonjun flirted with everyone he saw. It was just a part of his charm, and as much as Soobin hates to admit it he wishes he had that same ability Yeonjun had. To speak to you freely and smoothly hint towards a date instead of the casual and mundane conversations he settled for every time he saw you. He wanted to be cool and charming, wanted to be outgoing and good at everything he did, just like that Choi Yeonjun.

But Soobin knew he would never get to that point, he considered himself clumsy, unathletic, nerdy, and awkward. All of the things that Yeonjun wasn’t.

So when Soobin spots Yeonjun cracking yet another flirty joke just to see your cheeks flush and you shyly tucking your hair behind your ear he makes it his personal mission to intervene.

“Look at you slacking off. Should get back to work instead of talkin’ to me so much y/n.” Yeonjun teases you and you roll your eyes with a smile. You weren’t exactly close but he was friendly and often offered to help your dad anytime he needed it.

“Well Yeonjun, I’m trying! You keep distracting me..!” You nudge him as you loudly respond over the customers' chatter. “You’re lucky nobody needs me right now. What did you want anyways?” you inquire with a tilt of your head. Soobin sees this from afar and finds it endearing, and much to his dismay so does Yeonjun.

“Nothing today actually–” “What?!” “I said nothing today! I wanted to ask if you wanted to go to check out the festival with me?!” You furrow your eyebrows as your brain attempts to decipher Yeonjun’s words. “Check out what?!” 

Yeonjun lets out a laugh. Soobin bites his lip as his body unconsciously moves closer to the checkout counter. “The festival! You’re about to close soon right? Let's go, you and me!” Yeonjun repeats. This time he’s leaning over the counter, lips dangerously close to your face, and Soobin is about to explode from the sight.

“Well, actually I-” “Y/n! Hi! You’re not busy right?” Soobin blurts out as he shoves himself between Yeonjun and the counter. Yeonjun shoots him a puzzled look.

“Oh! Hi Soobin!” You smile, sheepishly rubbing the back of your neck at witnessing the sudden interjection. “Um.. How can I help you?” Soobin’s adrenaline is bursting through his veins, sure he saved you from Yeonjun’s invitation, but now what?

Suddenly, two other customers walk into the store and the place seems to inconveniently become more lively by the second. Soobin feels his anxiety bubbling in his stomach as he stares at your face, how was he supposed to look at you with your hair softly tousled into a ponytail and your pretty lashes blinking against your cheeks? He wonders what you look like outside of uniform.

“Uh, Soobin? I kinda– Yes sir one moment!” You call out to an older gentleman requesting your attention. Soobin blinks and realizes he’s been standing awkwardly for too long, Yeonjun is currently watching the whole situation unfold with a lifted brow and arms crossed.

“Uh– My mom–!.. I want to tell you that I kind of– The festival–! Um..” Soobin grows more flustered by the second, unable to get anything out. He wants to tell you he needs flour, he wants to tell you he traveled all the way across town just to see you, he wants to tell you to ditch Yeonjun and go to the festival with him instead. But words seem to fail him in the moment.

“Soobin?.. Are you alrigh–”

It finally hits Soobin that if he wants to confess, he needs to do it now. He should have realistically done it sooner but the poor boy genuinely felt like your relationship would never get anywhere past “somewhat friends”. Now that Yeonjun is here though, he feels like if he doesn’t say anything now, he’ll be forever doomed to be second to Choi once again.

“Y/n… I um–  L- like you! I need flour.. Too!”

Soobin’s words sound jumbled but it’s enough to get the point across. At least that’s what he thinks.

“What?! Sorry, I can’t hear you!” You shout over the bakery ambiance.

“Flour! Uh.. Flour! I just um.. I need that! Yes! That thing you sell! Ha…” Soobin wants to curl up and rot in a hole. Both of you miss the way Yeonjun’s lips curl up into a small smirk.

“A Flower?!” Your eyebrows furrow deeper. Why would Soobin need a singular flower? You wonder.

“Ah! What? Uh fl- flour! Y- yes!” Soobin stutters once more and you nod confusingly, turning to the shelf behind you. Soobin’s eyes flicker to Yeonjun, mentally high-fiving himself for stepping in at the perfect time. He feels slightly bad but in his defense, he had eyes on you first!

Before Soobin’s guilt settles in for thinking such selfish thoughts, you hand him a sunflower.

His eyes widen and he looks back at you. Did you end up hearing his confession after all?

“Sorry guys I can’t talk! Soobin I’m sorry but this is all I can offer on such short notice! Yeonjun, I’ll speak with you after my shift is done! Just give me 10 minutes!” You flash an apologetic smile and head over to the small line of customers waiting to pay.

Soobin’s mouth hangs open, did you just reject him? Were you so guilty you couldn’t reject him that you just gave him a gift in hopes he wouldn’t take it too harshly? Is that why you said it was all you could offer?

Soobin stands dumbfounded. Yeonjun sighs and grabs him by the arm, pulling him out of the store to allow the other customers to squeeze in their place.

“Hey–! I- I need to talk to y/n wait!” Soobin yanks his arm away from Yeonjun with a huff.

“Can you chill for a second?! God, seeing you stand there looking like a fish out of water is stressing me out, dude.” Yeonjun sighs and rubs his temples in frustration. Soobin swallows and looks down at the floor, twiddling with the sunflower you gave him between his fingers. “Look. I know what’s going on here man, you’ve got a crush on y/n don’t you?”

Soobin’s jaw drops once again and he feels his face grow impossibly red. “H- how do you know?!”

“You literally said it inside the store just a few seconds ago..not to mention your game is the worst I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Right..” Soobin sighs and drops his shoulders in defeat. “Was it that bad?” Yeonjun grimaces, “Want me to tell you the truth?” Soobin groans, he already knows what’s coming. “Just say it already.”

“That was absolutely horrid to watch. Never seen a guy fumble that badly..” Yeonjun pinches the bridge of his nose and Soobin plops down on the bench next to them. He rests his head in his hands, maybe now would be a good time to just move cities. Forget today ever happened. Forget about the festival. Forget about you. Not to mention he’s even more embarrassed at the fact that Yeonjun was there to witness it all. The last person he wanted to see.

“Hey, hey. Look, there’s a bright side to this and I don’t think you realize– I don’t even think y/n realizes what just happened in there.”

Soobin’s head perks up, his face scrunched up in confusion. “What? Besides the fact that I just got horribly rejected– Oh God AND she doesn’t even give me the flour I needed! Y/n probably thought it would be awkward to keep talking to me and just sent me off with this.. pity gift!” Soobin exclaims as he waves the sunflower in his hand around.

Yeonjun slams his palm into his forehead and sighs, “No! Dude she misheard you completely, I’m almost certain y/n thought you wanted a flower from her, not flour.” It takes a few seconds for Soobin to properly register Yeonjun’s words. He replays the situation in his head, the way that none of you could possibly hear each other that well given how busy the bakery was in that moment. 

It would make sense. Yeonjun was standing right next to Soobin so he was the only one that would be able to properly hear him.

“Oh.. shit..” Soobin slumps further into the bench. “Really?”

“Yeah, and frankly can I be honest?” Soobin nods. “I didn’t know you even liked y/n like that. You seem to sort of keep things plain with her when you guys talk.” Soobin pouts at the comment. “Well, I try!.. was kind of playing the long game… I don’t really have the type of charisma you have Mr. Festival Guy!” Soobin retorts and Yeonjun gasps dramatically.

“Hey! Don’t blame me for your incompetence man... Plus, even if I do sort of like her, I know when to back out if it’s just going to end up as a competition. I’m not a douchebag.”

Yeonjun chuckles at Soobin’s shocked face. He notes that Soobin seems to be very expressive despite not speaking about his emotions. It seems to explain a lot about Soobin. “Wait, seriously? You’re willing to give her up that easily?” 

Yeonjun shrugs, “I mean don’t get me wrong she’s a cute girl, but I just wanted to get to know her more as a friend, what’s the harm in that?” Soobin bites his lower lip and looks away from Yeonjun. He feels awful now, assuming Yeonjun was the player type and you were just his next target. They never spoke at school but that was simply because while Soobin was shy and hung out with the nerdy and introverted students– Yeonjun was popular, and had many friends. Not to mention plenty of girls fought for his attention at school.

“Yeah.. guess you’re right.” Soobin mumbles. “Well… now what do I do?” Yeonjun taps his index finger on his chin. “I mean, she said she gets off work in a few minutes right? Why don’t you tell her what you really meant to say.”

Soobin scoffs as if Yeonjun’s idea is completely unrealistic and ridiculous. “Yeah right. You saw the way I get when I speak to her. I can’t even think properly..” Yeonjun sighs. “Well, you have to do it sometime dude.. Unless you want someone like me to scoop her up.” He teases.

Soobin’s eye twitches, he was definitely not going to give Yeonjun another chance to ask you out.

“Hey– okay, okay, fine I’ll talk to her.. I guess..” Soobin runs a hand through his hair. He honestly felt like the entire situation was a lost cause. “So just how am I going to confess to y/n?”

“Dude, I can’t help you with everything! Just speak from your heart.. Or whatever those cheesy romance movies say.” Yeonjun pats Soobin’s shoulder and stands up. “Look, you’ll figure something out. Tell her what comes to mind, that’s the way I roll at least.” Soobin stares at his feet in thought. He had so much to say, and quite frankly his feelings were so strong and complicated he was scared it would ruin the relationship you both currently had. 

“All I’m gonna say is if you don’t do it tonight, I will. Get in there and grab what you originally came there for.” Yeonjun nods towards the sunflower resting in Soobin’s hand. ”And I’m not just talking about the flour either. Be yourself.” Soobin looks at Yeonjun for the last time and stands up.

“Right. I’ll uh.. See you then. Thanks.” Yeonjun pats his shoulder and Soobin almost winces at the pain. “No problem Choi. I’ll leave you to it. See you around.” Yeonjun winks and strolls off. Soobin cringes at how nonchalant the other male is, more so at the fact that he genuinely couldn’t tell if that wink was flirtatious or not.

Regardless, Yeonjun’s words were enough to boost his confidence slightly, and thus Soobin made his way back to the outside of the bakery.

20 minutes had passed and you finally were able to usher the last customer out of the store. Your father had already left to promote business at the festival grounds and your mother had offered to finish cleaning up so you could enjoy some time to yourself after a long day of work.

The summer heat hits your face as you open the heavy double glass doors, pouting as the fresh indoor air slips away. You let your hair down so you can arrange it into a neater ponytail, feeling at least feeling somewhat refreshed after quickly changing out of your work uniform into something more comfortable.

Soobin hears the familiar jingle of the bakery doors and he looks up, if he wasn’t nervous already he definitely was now. His face flushes as his eyes scan your figure, pretty face concentrated as you tie your hair up, thin summer shirt slightly lifting to show the slightest bit of skin as if you wearing those small denim shorts wasn’t enough to have him practically fainting at the sight.

You look up and the expression on your face changes to a warm smile upon seeing Soobin. 

“Soobie, hi!” Oh! The nickname too! Soobin was doomed.

“H- hey, um y/n.. Before you lock up can we go inside? I need to speak with you..” You tilt your head and look around the area. “Sure? Oh but I think Yeonjun was waiting to talk to me too? Did you see him?” Soobin almost lets out a groan in discontent but hides it with a bite to his bottom lip. Why were you asking about Yeonjun? Was it because you were hoping he’d be waiting instead of Soobin?

“He uh.. Decided he had something to do–  It wasn’t important anyways..” Soobin scratches the back of his neck with an awkward smile. “Ah, okay! Let’s go in then.” You smile and open the doors for him. Soobin fumbles to one of the glass doors and holds it for you with ears tinged pink, nodding as you thank him when you walk inside.

Soobin doesn’t even remember ever being this nervous before in his entire life, his first catering delivery, the handful of speeches he’s stuttered through when speaking in front of his classmates, or when he spilled juice on his mother’s most prestigious customer.

You prop yourself on the counter, your eyes now able to meet his without either of you adjusting your height. You swing your legs as you sit, oblivious to Soobin’s inner turmoil. “Sorry, I wasn’t about to talk with you outside in that heat. You must have been sweating so much out there!” You apologize with a light laugh, and the tall boy's heart soars, touched by your consistently kind and caring nature.

Soobin’s brain is currently in overdrive thinking about the way your delicate fingers twiddle in your lap waiting for his response. You notice that his breathing has grown quiet and slow, as he avoids your gaze while in deep thought.

“Is something wrong? Did something happen to Yeonjun or–?” You innocently question. Soobin can’t help but feel his jealousy peak. Why were asking about that guy when it was just you and him? Why couldn’t you ever focus on him instead?

“Soobie.. Tell me what happened, please?” You bring your hand up to rest on his arm, shooting jolts of electricity throughout his entire body from the small touch. It was light, but it was also the first time you’ve ever made an effort to touch Soobin in such a delicate manner. It may have meant nothing to you but to him, it was more than enough to send his mind reeling even further.

Soobin was a patient man. In case you couldn’t tell from the way he’s waited all these years for the perfect moment to confess. Yet, at this moment he feels his emotions bubbling up, his jealousy of Yeonjun, his overwhelming affection towards you that never ceased to stop growing over the years, and the overwhelming anxiety threatening to burst through his stomach.

Your eyes widen as Soobin places both of his arms on the counter, caging you in with his own body.

‘Be yourself Soobin. If she doesn’t like you for you then she’s not the one. If she likes Yeonjun then so be it.’ Soobin is chanting so many affirmations in his head and nothing seems to work. Seconds pass and he notices the heat spread across your face as you stare into his gentle brown orbs.

The bakery is silent, its ambiance a complete contrast to almost 30 minutes ago. Everything had been turned off, with the only source of lightning coming from the sunset peering over the horizon outside. The rays barely peeked through the partially closed blinds and the glass doors leading into the bakery. 

“I- .. look I honestly h- have no idea how to go about this..” Soobin begins, his breathing now ragged and his body so close to yours that his scent begins to fill your senses. You’ve never been this close to Soobin and can’t help but take in the gentle light floral scent. It’s warm even, like a cotton shirt left out in the sun on a summer afternoon.

He presses his forehead against yours, his breath now gently tickling your features. “Y/n.. I’ve liked you f- for a really long time.. And I mean this more than a friend.” His eyes are screwed shut, almost as if he was afraid that if he opened them he’d be met with a look of disappointment from you. “I tried telling you earlier, I saw Yeonjun try to hit on you and I freaked out. Of course, shit hits the fan too because with my luck you didn’t hear me.”

“Soobin..” Your mouth opens before you can fully process what you want to say. “Y- you don’t have to respond y/n. If anything I know you probably have feelings for Yeonjun already– Just p- please.. I-” His voice is shaky, his intense fear of rejection pouring out of his body in a sweat.

Soobin’s eyes flash open when he feels both your hands gently holding both sides of his face. “Can I tell you something?” You smile warmly. Soobin’s heart feels like it's going to jump out of his chest. “I only keep working here so I can see you.”

Soobin’s face turns a bright red, his mouth agape. “Wh- what?”

“My parents tease me about it all the time. About the boy that I fell head over heels for since the day he first walked through those stupid glass doors. I don’t let them hire anyone else because I didn’t want anyone talking to you that wasn’t me!” You chuckle, recalling the slow days when you paced across the white bakery tiles, waiting for him to walk through those doors with a list of items he needed.

“I’ve liked you. I always have.” Your voice comes out in a whisper. Soobin’s ears barely pick up the sound as a group of children run by the shop, loud screeches and giggles as they pass.

“Wh- what?” Soobin stares into your eyes in complete disbelief. “I said I like you too, Choi Soobin.”

He’s silent, a car passes by and you almost jump from the sudden noise. Soobin doesn’t flinch, and for a moment your expression turns into one of fear– afraid that you said the wrong thing until Soobin lets out a series of soft chuckles.

“What is so funny!?” You pout, immediately removing your hands from his face in embarrassment. The audacity of this guy! To just laugh in front of your face after he himself nearly pissed himself from confessing to you.

“Y- you have no idea– no idea!” He begins, his forehead bumping into yours again from laughing. “Y/n, I’ve been going out of my way, doing the stupidest things just to get myself to tell you how I feel.”

You scoff and look down at your lap. “Well.. at least now everything is cleared up.. Right?”

Soobin’s head pulls away, his arms still trapping you in his presence. ‘O-oh um about that..” 

“Earlier.. I was asking you for flour.. Y’know the stuff you bake with? .. You sort of misheard that too.” You cover your mouth with a gap. Soobin senses your guilt and immediately shakes his head.

Soobin finally pulls his arms away and you feel your tense body loosen up. It seems he had no clue of how close he was due to the adrenaline of his confession. “No no! Please don’t worry about it– it was seriously my fault, I couldn’t even get a word out and it was super loud and busy earlier!”

“L- let me get that for you! Gosh, I’m so so sorry!” You exclaim as you jump off the counter to run to the back room to retrieve the said bag. You find Soobin with his hands covering his face in embarrassment as you walk up to him. It seemed you two were more similar than you expected.

“Let's go deliver the flour then, together.” You smile shyly, attempting to lighten the mood. “Before we do though.. Let's make a trade.” You take the forgotten sunflower Soobin had been holding the entire time and hold it to your chest. “You can give me this, and I’ll give you your flour.”

Your voice is warm and oh-so-sweet to Soobin’s ears. He was so used to hearing you speak in your ‘customer service’ voice that being able to have you finally speak to him, and only him, in that gentle tone that made his legs turn to jelly and his heart thump ever so harder.

“Deal.” Soobin smiles and he takes the sunflower from your hand. He gently places the sunflower behind your ear, pushing back a strand of your hair at the same time and your eyes meet once again. His eyes were mesmerizing, almost as if they were pulling you closer. You didn’t even realize how close in proximity you two were now.

Soobin closes the gap between you both, your lips finally connecting for the first time. Your plush lips are soft against his and it’s everything Soobin could have imagined and more. The kiss isn’t perfect– with teeth slightly clashing every few seconds and you giggling in excitement. Both your lips were slightly chapped from the summer heat and the conversation you just had. It didn’t matter to either of you though.

It was summer when Soobin met you for the time, with cheeks flushed and shy lingering gazes. He smiles, dimples on full display at the thought as he stares up into the sinking sun in the distance as you both head towards the festival. 

It’s also summer when the two of you confess and share your first kiss. Soobin comes to realize that summer might just be his favorite season. After all, over the years nothing has ever changed, besides the feelings he’s had all this time now growing ever stronger. And of course, breaking the curse of forever being just the clumsy boy who visited you.

[miujo]

　　　❱❱　　　♫　　　just love me, just love　　🪬

@mofongogo @seunghnie

[lovelysweetlillies]

[yuujispinkhair]

ILLICIT AFFAIRS

You show me colors I can't see with anyone else

You are stuck in an unhappy marriage, not brave enough to leave your cheating husband. Until you meet Sukuna.

Pairing: Modern!Sukuna x Reader (female) Word Count: 10k Warnings: 18+, fluff, hurt/comfort, smut, but not explicit, cheating (Reader's husband cheats on her, and later on, she cheats on him with Sukuna). Sukuna is a CEO (or can be read as a Yakuza boss, too). Sukuna + Reader are both in their thirties. The fic title is taken from Taylor Swift's "Illicit Affairs", but in this story, the secret affair has a happy ending. This story is super self-indulgent, but I hope some of my fellow Sukuna lovers will enjoy it, too! Minors don't interact. Divider @./lovwoung

You often ask yourself what went wrong. How did you end up trapped in this unhappy marriage? Maybe you were too young, too inexperienced, too naive when you met your husband. Maybe you were too insecure, convinced no one would ever want you, and so you gratefully settled for the first man who showed interest in dating you.

Your relationship was never like those romances you knew from books or movies, but you assumed that was just how things were in reality. Your mom, your aunt, and everyone else told you how lucky you were to have finally found a man willing to be with you. How lucky to have found someone with a good job and from a good family. They were also the ones who pressured the two of you to get married, and ever since then, things have gone downhill.

Your husband hasn't shown you any love or affection in years. The only time he shows interest in you is when he wants to have sex, but even that is without any real intimacy. He hasn't kissed you in years, and if he did at this point, you would probably be disgusted by it. There is no love in this marriage.

The worst thing is you know he is cheating on you. You already suspected it when he suddenly had to stay at work a lot longer than usual and when he began to hide his phone screen from you. And then one night, you woke up and walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water, and that's when you overheard your husband talking on the phone with some other woman calling her angel and baby and telling her how beautiful she was.

Even though you didn't love him anymore, it still made your world tumble down around you.

You want to leave him, but you can't. Everything is too much, too overwhelming. You have always found it very hard to make decisions, and this one is huge. You have no idea where to go or how to get by on your own. All your savings went into buying this apartment, and now what?

And it's not just the financial aspect that worries you. Everyone has always told you that you would never survive on your own. They always kept you small, turning you into someone who is dependent on others. You got told that you are weird, not good enough, and incapable of ever taking control of your life. And at some point over the years, you started to believe that. Your self-confidence is non-existent.

You tell your mom about the cheating, and she tells you to stay with your husband.

"It's just a little fling. At least you are lucky that he doesn't want to divorce you. It would be such a financial disaster, and you know how you are. You don't do well on your own. Just stay with him and find joy in other things. Maybe pick up a new hobby. I could give you Kira's number. She just joined a nice Yoga class!"

You don't go to the Yoga class, but you also don't leave your husband. You try to pretend everything is fine. Try to gaslight yourself into thinking that maybe you are really just a hysterical, insecure, and overjealous idiot who misinterpreted things.

The months pass, and you catch him flirting on the phone several times. An annual business event is scheduled, which you always accompany him to, but he tells you it got canceled this year. Only to find out from the wife of one of his coworkers that the event took place as usual, but you and your husband simply never showed up. You know why. He didn't want you there. He didn't want to risk his little affair and his wife running into each other.

You've given up on love by now. You hate seeing ads for romance novels or rom-coms. You stop listening to music because most songs are lovesongs. For all you know, romantic love is just a made-up thing that people sing about and write about, but it's all just lies.

Or maybe it does exist in real life. But not for you. Maybe you simply aren't the type of woman who deserves to be loved. Maybe your mom is right, and you should just accept it.

So you stay with your husband, but you are dead inside.

Until you meet Sukuna.

He is everything you ever dreamed about in your secret fantasies that you started to develop to comfort yourself. A dreamed life, but now it's right in front of you, close enough to touch. Sukuna is a real gentleman. An attractive mix of a bad boy and a successful, serious businessman. Smart, confident, and sexy, with a boyish playfulness beneath his professional appearance.

Ironically, you meet him the night you try to save your marriage.

You are already sitting at the table for two you booked for a date in one of the best restaurants in the city. You put on makeup and spend an hour picking a dress in which you feel at least half attractive. And now you sit here, sipping your red wine, waiting for your husband to arrive, to hopefully bond with him again over a delicious dinner and a few hours where you can talk and maybe laugh together.

Only that your husband never shows up. You have already finished your first glass of wine and received several pitiful looks from the waitress when your phone buzzes with a message. It's your husband telling you he can't make it. "Something has come up at work. I don't know when I will be able to leave. Just have dinner without me."

You stare at the message for far too long, not even knowing how to respond. Feeling utterly humiliated, utterly hurt, and abandoned. Worthless. You know he is going to see his girlfriend instead tonight. His girlfriend, who is young and sexy, and can give him what he wants.

And suddenly, you can't hold back the tears anymore. You blink hastily, wiping angrily at your cheeks, trying everything not to ruin your makeup or have a breakdown in the middle of the crowded restaurant. But the waitress chooses that exact moment to walk up to you with an overly bright smile, asking,

"Excuse me, Madam. Would it be alright if someone joins you at your table?"

You look at her, caught off guard, really not wanting a stranger at your table in this horrid moment, but you are too polite to say no, and so you smile weakly back at her, pressing out in a tear-thick voice,

"Of course, I don't mind."

You wipe your eyes again, trying to will the tears away, as a tall man in a fancy-looking black suit and slicked-back pink hair comes into view. He is snapping at the waitress, clearly annoyed, saying something about how rude it is to forget his reservation and that this will have consequences since he is a regular customer, etc.

But he sits down across from you, still fuming as the waitress bows deeply several times, apologizing profusely for the mistake, promising that the man's food and drinks will be free tonight.

He lets out an exasperated sigh and orders a glass of red wine, which the waitress immediately scrambles to get for him.

You gulp hard, trying to regain composure, hoping you don't look as forlorn as you feel. You lift your head to nod at the man across from you, trying to muster up a polite smile because, after all, you have been trained from a young age to always be friendly.

You take him in and draw in a surprised breath. He is gorgeous. The most attractive man you have ever seen. Tall and broad-shouldered with masculine but beautiful features. Angular jawline, intelligent maroon eyes, and sensual lips that are lifted in a smug smirk as he nods back at you,

"Excuse this inconvenience. I will make sure whoever is responsible will get fired."

And, of course, you splutter and are quick to try doing damage control, not wanting some poor person to lose their job over this.

"Oh no, please, it's no problem at all!"

The pink-haired man laughs softly, a low, husky sound that makes your pulse flutter nervously.

He looks intimidating with his tall height and muscular build, and the tattoos that line his handsome face. But he is distinguished and elegant, wearing a designer suit and an expensive watch. Clearly, he is a regular guest of a restaurant like this.

He looks like a successful CEO (or a Yakuza boss, your mind provides not helpful at all). He's definitely someone in a powerful position, judging by his whole appearance and the dominant and confident aura he exudes. But he also has pastel pink hair, a boyish grin, and a playful attitude that makes him seem not as scary as you first thought.

His wine arrives from a different waitress, and he thanks her politely, telling her,

"Put everything the lovely lady across from me orders on my card."

The waitress is quick to bow deeply with a polite, "Of course, Mr. Itadori," at the same moment, as your eyes widen, and you quickly argue,

"Oh no, please, I can't..."

But he smirks his charming smirk and lifts a large hand dismissively,

"It's the least I can do for ruining your evening in much-wanted solitude."

Much wanted solitude.

His words hit you to the core, making all the sadness well up in you again. If only it were true. If only you were truly a single, independent woman who came here after a successful day at work to enjoy dinner on her own in voluntarily chosen solitude.

But you are none of that. You are an abandoned and unloved wife with a boring job and no money, sitting here at a table for two because your husband ditched you to fuck his pretty little assistant in his office.

And suddenly, the tears are back in your eyes, making it hard to see. You quickly avert your shameful gaze, your hand grabbing your wine glass so tightly it almost breaks.

Your sight is blurry, but you can still see the shocked look on the man's face across from you. His eyes dart away from you but then back again, obviously not used to the company of a crying stranger. He clears his throat before he leans slightly across the table, lowering his voice to a soft murmur,

"Are you alright?"

You feel embarrassment flood you, feeling so mortified at your behavior. You wish the ground would just open up and swallow you! This is so typical of you, ruining this stranger's evening, because you don't have your emotions under control and act like a complete fool. It's something your husband would chide you for or make fun of if he saw it.

"I... I am so sorry! Please just ignore me."

You hate how your voice breaks, and before you can suppress it, a pathetic-sounding sob falls from your lips. You press your hands to your face, sobbing silently into them, trying to hide from the world and from the poor guy who's forced to share this table with you.

But then you feel a tentative touch, a warm hand gently brushing over your arm, and you pull your hands from your face, blinking at your table partner, feeling your lips tremble and your face burning, knowing that you must look so ugly right now with your makeup ruined and tears and snot coating your face.

Another apology is already waiting on your tongue, but he shakes his head, and somehow, it's so authoritative but also gentle that your apology dies on your tongue. Instead, you blink at him, as he cocks his head and watches you thoughtfully, that low voice so smooth and soothing when he says,

"Don't apologize."

You nod, trying to smile gratefully at him, but fail miserably as his kind reaction only causes more tears to fall.

He shoves his hand into the pocket of his suit jacket and pulls out a handkerchief. Not a paper tissue, but an actual handkerchief. He offers it to you, and you reach for it automatically, thanking him. But you freeze the moment your hand wraps around the fabric, realizing it's made out of fine silk.

He raises an eyebrow,

"Please, take it."

"But I... I will just ruin it with my makeup..."

He huffs, a soft smirk lifting his lips,

"I don't care. I'll just buy a new one. Take it. I insist."

"Th.. thank you, sir. That's really sweet of you."

His lips twitch,

"You're welcome. And for you, it's Sukuna, not sir."

You sniffle, pressing his handkerchief against your cheeks as you nod and tell him your name.

His smirk softens to a small smile, and he jerks his tattooed chin toward your empty wine glass.

"Do you want another one of those? Looks like you could use it."

You nod as more tears well up in your eyes, and Sukuna snips his fingers, instantly summoning a waiter to your table as if they are all hovering nearby just waiting for Sukuna to voice a wish.

Five minutes later, you have another red wine to hold on to and sip on, which causes a comforting buzz in your head, and suddenly, it all breaks out of you, and you tell Sukuna everything. You tell him about your failed marriage, about how lonely you feel, how unloved. About your cheating husband. About how pathetic you think you are for not daring to leave him because you have never been on your own before and you have no one who has your back.

You cry and sob and take big gulps of the wine while pouring your heart out to this beautiful stranger sitting across from you. This guy who, despite his intimidating look, is surprisingly gentle with you and who doesn't mind that you stain his silken handkerchief with your mascara and lipstick.

Sukuna actually listens to you. He looks earnestly at you, clenches his jaw when you tell him how your husband treats you, and shakes his head when you say under tears how stupid you think you are.

"No, you aren't. Don't blame yourself. It's him. He is the problem. He is the asshole."

Sukuna is the first one who tells you that you deserve better.

You feel an unexpected relief at finally being able to pour your heart out to someone. And just when you get yourself enough under control again to begin feeling embarrassed at your outburst, Sukuna flashes you a smirk and raises an eyebrow, asking,

"Do you want me to get rid of him for you?"

Which makes you forget the embarrassment and instead stare at him with big eyes and hurriedly splutter,

"Oh my god, no! This is not what I..."

You don't get any further because Sukuna begins to laugh, shaking his head slightly as his eyes sparkle amusedly at you.

"Don't worry. I'm just joking."

You huff a breath of relief, followed by a little laugh. Sukuna's comment managed to pull you out of your little moment of regret, and you feel better again, taking another sip from your wine and even managing to eat a few bites of the meal Sukuna ordered for the two of you, claiming that an empty stomach is never good.

Sukuna is nice to you. It's astounding to you because, with the way he looks with those face tattoos and the slightly dangerous aura surrounding him, you would have never thought a man like him could be so nice. It brings more tears to your eyes, feeling too emotional from all the wine. But you use Sukuna's handkerchief to blot them away.

He leaves with you when you say you have to go home, walks around the table, and pulls out your chair like a real gentleman. He offers you his strong arm when you sway lightly on your heels. He helps you into your coat and accompanies you to the exit.

You stand in front of the restaurant on the busy street, but all you see is Sukuna, who stands so close to you that you can smell his cologne, a sensual, woodsy scent that fits him perfectly, smelling expensive and sexy.

He puts a large hand on your tear-stained cheek, cupping it gently, wiping a few fresh tears away, and you take a step closer to him as if drawn in by a magical force, craving this tender touch, even if it's just a stranger touching your cheek in the middle of a busy sidewalk.

Sukuna is so tall and broad, making you feel so safe somehow, and before you can stop yourself, you lean your head against his broad chest, closing your eyes for a moment and sighing longingly. For the first time in so long, you feel as if you can breathe.

You reluctantly take a step back again, tilting your head to smile up at Sukuna, thanking him again for everything he did for you. And he grins at you and leans down, his lips brushing over your ear, while his hand still caresses your cheek,

"You deserve so much better than your asshole of a husband. Don't hesitate to call or text me when you need a break again."

And with that, he presses a gentle kiss to your cheek. It's such a delicate feeling, so soft and gone again in a split second that you aren't sure if it really happened or if you just imagined it, but it fills you with such warmth that it almost hurts.

Sukuna pulls away with a smirk, and you see a business card dangling from his long fingers. You take it from him with a small, grateful smile.

+++

Several days pass, during which you firmly ignore the business card that's still in your purse.

Waking up the next morning after meeting Sukuna made you feel strange. Guilty somehow. As if you had done something wrong. It's ridiculous, of course. Nothing happened between Sukuna and you. And if someone was supposed to feel guilt, it was your husband. And yet you refused to even look at the business card, feeling like you would be doing something bad if you even so much as entertained the idea of adding Sukuna's number to your contacts.

No, you would never contact Sukuna. You would do as your mom had said. Just accept the circumstances of your marriage and create your own happiness. Maybe you should really find a new hobby. Or maybe you could get a pet? A cat or a dog?

For the next few days, you almost manage to convince yourself that you are fine with your life. You keep yourself busy by researching different cat and dog breeds and starting a new TV show.

But then you walk in on your husband flirting with his affair on the phone again, and you see red. This time, you can't stop yourself from confronting him, from snapping at him and screaming at him under tears to stop it.

It leads to nothing, though. He is so unbothered, so smooth, lying through his teeth, downplaying it, claiming she is just a good friend, making you seem like some nutcase who overreacts at every little thing.

You escape to the bedroom, sitting on the bed, staring off into space as tears stream down your face, feeling so helpless in your rage and misery. What are you supposed to do when your cheating partner refuses to admit he is actually cheating on you?

You wish you had the courage to leave him. Or better, you wish he would take the decision from you and leave you so you won't be the one everyone blames for ending this seemingly perfect marriage! And so you won't have to be the one who makes a decision that will change your whole life.

You yank open your nightstand, searching for some paper tissues. And that's when you see Sukuna's handkerchief again, peeking out from under a package of chocolate cookies.

You brush tenderly over the soft, silken fabric. A small smile lifts your lips as your fingers brush over the initials embroidered on it in one corner in a fancy gold thread. S.I.. Itadori Sukuna.

You let out a long breath, wiping your tears away with one hand while the other holds the handkerchief. And suddenly, the clouds seem to disappear as you remember the warmth you felt when Sukuna cupped your cheek and wiped your tears away. And suddenly you know what you want to do.

You jump up and walk to your dresser, pull it open hurriedly, and yank out the purse you had with you in that restaurant. You open it, impatiently emptying its contents over your bed, until you see the business card with Sukuna's contact information.

On any other day, you would overthink things and take an hour to even make up your mind about what to write, but in the state you are in right now, everything seems so clear.

You grab your phone, add Sukuna's contact, and open a new text message. Your fingers seem to do the work without you consciously having to think about it as they quickly type a message:

"Hey. It's your surprise table partner from last Friday. Thank you again for being so nice to me and for your handkerchief."

You feel triumphant as you place your phone down on your nightstand. And then it buzzes, and your heart jumps to your throat. There's a reply.

"I'm glad you finally texted me. You are very welcome. How are you feeling?"

"I am ok. What about you?"

You cringe at your poor small-talk skills, but Sukuna is surprisingly easy to talk to. He tells you about his day, about business meetings, and what he will have for dinner.

There's a strange feeling spreading through your chest. A kind of longing. You crave the feeling of being near Sukuna again. How safe you felt when leaning your head against his chest for a few seconds. How seen you felt when he listened patiently to you and reassured you.

You want to see him again. Want that feeling again.

"I want to give you back your handkerchief. Where can we meet?"

You know you sound weird as fuck, but it's the only way you dare ask him to meet you again.

"I don't want that handkerchief back, sweetheart. But we should meet up anyway. I quite enjoyed your company. How about you join me again for dinner sometime this week?"

Oh.

Your heart is racing uncontrollably, and your hand shakes as you stare at Sukuna's message.

This is it. This is where things become dangerous. You know the right thing to do would be to say no. It's what a married woman should do. But your husband is in the living room, probably sexting his little affair, so why should you be a good wife?

And so you text Sukuna back, letting him know that dinner sounds great.

+++

The dinner with Sukuna is nice. Really nice. You catch yourself feeling so much lighter, your lips lifted in genuine laughter, your eyes shining with happiness as you spend your evening with Sukuna. He is a very charming conversationalist. Cocky, but in such a playful way that it makes you giggle and feel your face get hot from all the joy it brings you to playfully joke around with him and let him tease you in such a charming and light-hearted way.

Your meeting is innocent, nothing that could be counted as cheating. Just a man and a woman who enjoy good food and wine together and chat about everything and nothing. The occasional small touches don't count, right? Like when Sukuna's large hand brushes over the back of your much smaller hand that's resting on the table.

Or when he reaches across the table to cup your chin and wipe some cherry sauce off the corner of your lips with his thumb. But just because his gentle touch makes your skin tingle and your pulse quicken doesn't mean there is anything going on between Sukuna and you!

Sukuna refuses to let you pay, saying it's a delight for him to have you keep him company. And you laugh bashfully and wave him off but feel so giddy. Sukuna offers you his arm when you walk out of the restaurant, and you take it happily, marveling at how tall he is and how safe you feel walking at his side, biting your lip when you wrap your hand around his upper arm and feel his big biceps flex under your palm.

You say good night on the street in front of the restaurant, and before you know what you are doing, you wrap your arms around Sukuna for a light hug. You intend to pull away again immediately, just a quick, friendly hug, but you get stopped by Sukuna's strong arms wrapping around you, holding you firmly, hugging you back, and not letting you go yet.

He rests his chin on your head, and you have the enticing scent of his cologne in your nose again. You feel so warm and comfortable with Sukuna's strong arms around you, his tall, muscular body pressing against you, warm and reassuring. It makes you let out a shaky breath, overcome with feelings, because you can't remember the last time someone hugged you like this.

Sukuna's low voice is a velvety rumble when he says,

"I am on the National Museum's VIP list. There will be a pre-opening event for a new exhibition this coming week. Heian era. It sounds interesting. Would you like to accompany me?"

You lift your head, looking curiously at Sukuna,

"What must one do to get added to the National Museum's VIP list?"

An amused smirk lifts Sukuna's lips, making him look so unfairly handsome,

"Oh, nothing much, just make one or two generous donations every year."

He shrugs, and you laugh, beaming up at him in amusement as you nod,

"I would love to accompany you."

"Sweet. It's settled, then. I'll text you the day and time."

You want to walk to the subway, but Sukuna stops you with a warm hand on your arm, saying he will drive you home. For a moment, you freeze, not knowing what to say. It feels wrong somehow to let another man drive you to the apartment you share with your husband. And maybe you should be cautious and keep a distance and not let Sukuna know exactly where you live.

But you shake yourself out of it. All of those things have been hammered into your brain all of your life, making you anxious and scared and never truly living your life. You are already meeting with Sukuna for dinner and will accompany him to a museum next week. The world won't end if he knows your address!

You smile at him and nod, telling him it would be very nice if he drove you. And Sukuna smiles back, a pleased look in his maroon eyes. He gently steers you towards the parking space with a large hand resting lightly on the small of your back as you stroll down the street.

You catch yourself having a more upright posture than usual, your head lifted, your lips adorned with a soft smile. You feel like the passerbies are all looking at you and Sukuna. Maybe thinking the two of you are a couple on a date, and the thought makes your stomach tingle.

Sukuna's car is a black Porsche. You don't even know why you are surprised. He grins lazily as he opens the door for you and helps you slip into the passenger seat, handing you your purse when you sit and carefully closing the door behind you before he walks around the front of the fancy sports car and gets into the driver's seat.

"Nice car," you say, and Sukuna turns to look at you with a teasing twinkle in his eyes,

"Well, I'm not a nice guy, so at least my car should be."

"Oh, I think you are very nice."

The two of you hold eye contact for a long moment, both pairs of eyes filled with amusement before you burst out giggling, and Sukuna joins you with his low laugh.

+++

You spend the next evenings at home, having dinner with your husband, who is busy with his phone most of the time, making the cold, heavy feeling in your stomach even worse.

Your only joy is the anticipation you feel in looking forward to Wednesday afternoon when you will meet Sukuna at the museum.

He is already waiting when you arrive, leaning casually against a pillar next to the entrance, tall and handsome with his perfectly styled pink hair and his Tom Ford suit. A dark red one this time, which makes his eyes look like red wine.

Sukuna is a beautiful man.

For a moment, you feel a nervous flutter in your chest, but it vanishes again when Sukuna grins at you and greets you with his warm, low voice and a large hand on your back, pulling you into a half hug.

He doesn't even have to say his name when the two of you approach the young man who greets the guests and ticks off their names on the guest list.

"Ah, Mr Itadori! Have fun at the exhibition. And thank you so much for your generous support."

Your hand slips naturally around Sukuna's arm as you stroll through the exhibition. It feels nice to be here. It makes you realize how long it's been since you last visited a museum. Or did any kind of activity, really. Your husband never had time for you during the last few years.

You can tell that Sukuna is genuinely interested in the exhibition. He already seems to be an expert on the topic, adding interesting facts to the already detailed info sheets next to each exhibition piece.

It's an equal amount of endearing and sexy how nerdy he seems to be about this. Attractive. You like smart men. You like it when a man is passionate about learning everything about a topic that interests him. And Sukuna is like that.

You hang on his lips, soaking up his knowledge, feeling way too hot when you watch the sparkle in his maroon eyes as he goes into a passionate monologue about political intrigues during the timeline of one of the exhibition pieces.

And he seems to like that you also show genuine interest in the exhibition and in what he has to say about it. He blesses you with a soft smile that makes your stomach flutter. You feel exhilarated, your heart pounding in your chest, almost bursting with happiness. A long-forgotten feeling emerging again after so many years.

You thank Sukuna profusely for the fun afternoon, and he grins that charming, boyish grin at you and tells you he is grateful that you kept him such lovely company.

This time, there is no doubt about whether he really kisses your cheek or not. His lips linger on your heated skin for a long moment, soft lips pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek before Sukuna smiles at you and cups your other cheek with his hand, his long fingers caressing it slowly.

"Let's meet again for dinner next week, sweetheart."

+++

You pace your living room restlessly.

Your trip to the museum with Sukuna made you realize something. It made you realize what this giddy feeling is that has been filling you ever since you started to meet up with him. That light-hearted, fluttery, happy feeling you get when you see him or even just when you think of him (which is almost every waking second of your day).

You try to shut down those feelings, telling yourself it's dangerous to let someone make you feel so much again. It makes you too vulnerable. It will only lead to more chaos and more hurt.

Why would a man like Sukuna even be interested in anything serious with me? He can probably have anyone. Either he only sees me as a friend, or I am just a little fling to him. I have to stop this before I get in even deeper!

In the coming week, you cancel your dinner with Sukuna by sending him a short text telling him you have a cold. He sends you a get well soon message and asks if you need anything, which you deny, even while you sob silently because Sukuna is so caring, and all you want to do is run into his strong arms and forget about your joyless life.

But you stay strong and put your phone away, forbidding yourself from sending more messages to Sukuna.

Your husband makes a rare attempt to talk to you, and you already know what he wants. After tiptoeing around you for several hours, he asks you for sex. You join him in the dark bedroom, feeling nothing as you slip out of your clothes and climb into bed with him.

You have learned to close your eyes during sex and let your mind wander, imagining all kinds of fictional scenarios to help you feel anything at all. But this time, you don't think of a fictional love interest out of a romance novel or an actor you find attractive. This time, you think of Sukuna.

You feel dirty afterward as you stand under the shower and scrub at your skin. Dirty for thinking of Sukuna while you slept with your husband. But what makes you feel even dirtier is that you still let your cheating husband touch you even though Sukuna is so nice to you. It feels as if you are cheating on both of them.

You cry so much that you feel like you have no tears left.

+++

Even though you haven't met or talked to Sukuna in over a week, he is still constantly on your mind. You are haunted by images of him. That beautiful tattooed face. That sexy low voice and the playful smirk. That tall and muscular body that makes you feel so tiny in comparison and so safe when you are standing in front of him or leaning against him.

You sigh. One would assume that acknowledging that you are developing romantic feelings for Sukuna would make things easier for you. Clearer. But the thing is, even though you know what your heart wants, you are still too scared to end things with your husband. There are too many insecurities. Too many risks and you feel so useless and weak, just like your parents always told you you are.

You feel frozen, unable to make a move. There is this wonderful man who treats you as if you are special and shows you how a man is supposed to make you feel, and yet you lack the courage to get out of your loveless marriage.

You have always been an overthinker, always scared to trust your instincts. Brought up to always be sensible and make decisions with your head and not your heart. So how could you just leave the security of this marriage? Especially when you are trying to convince yourself that Sukuna would never want a relationship anyway.

No, you can't let yourself believe that you could have a future with Sukuna. This is just a stupid dream born out of your naivety, which your parents always warned you about.

And how could you even go about ending things with your husband? Sit him down and tell him it's over? But what then? What do you do when he just refuses to accept it?

Or should you just pack your bag and leave while he is at work, letting him return to an empty apartment and a goodbye letter on the kitchen table? But where would you go? To a hotel? You have no money. To your parents? You would feel so ashamed, and you fear their judgment. To a friend? You don't really have any friends anymore who you are close enough with to ask this of.

You sigh. None of it seems achievable. Not for you. You are too chicken to do any of it.

Your husband informs you that he will be gone for two days for a business trip, and you let out a breath of relief, happy about the freedom you feel when he is away and you have the apartment to yourself.

You open a bottle of wine, listen to your favorite playlist, and dance around the kitchen, almost able to convince yourself that things will be ok and you can just live a life feeling detached from the hurt your marriage causes you.

And then your iPad dies. You groan, quickly walking to the spare room you use as an office to grab your husband's laptop, only to get greeted by his e-mail inbox, where you see a booking confirmation for a romantic couple getaway for the next two days.

You stare at it wide-eyed. And then you sit down in a daze and go through the received and sent e-mails, only discovering more outrageous things. The escort girls your husband booked over the last year, the flowers he ordered for other women, while you never got any flowers from him in all your years married to him. The romantic getaways he booked anytime he claimed to go on business trips.

You can't even cry about it anymore. The sadness is replaced by cold rage. And by a strange feeling of resignation. You know you could show all of this to your mom and finally make her believe what you told her all this time. Finally, presenting her and everyone else with proof of how badly your husband treats you.

But even as you snap pictures of the e-mails, you realize you can't bring yourself to do it. And the infuriating thing about it is that it's not even because it causes you hurt, but because you still want to protect your husband. If you show your mom this, she will confront him and make a huge scene. And you don't want that to happen. Even after everything he did, you still are too much of a good girl to let him face the rage of your mom.

That's why you close the laptop again without doing anything. You make sure to put it back to where you found it.

But a different kind of conviction has settled over you. If your asshole of a husband can go on romantic getaways and sex meetings, you can allow yourself some fun, too, can't you?

It's not even that you plan to have sex when you text Sukuna. You just want to meet him for dinner or another trip to the museum. You just want to talk to him, and laugh with him and soak up the light feeling he gives you.

He calls you instead of texting back. Your heart races when you take the call, and Sukuna's velvety low voice fills your ear,

"I just came home from a big grocery haul. So how about instead of meeting at a restaurant, you come to my apartment, and I cook for you?"

You agree instantly.

+++

Unsurprisingly, Sukuna lives in one of the most expensive neighborhoods of the city. The luxurious apartment complex makes you feel nervous and a bit out of place. But that uneasiness slips from you the moment Sukuna opens his door and greets you with that sexy, teasing smirk and a playful little comment.

It's the first time you see Sukuna dressed casually. And it undeniably does something to you to see him in a pair of gray sweatpants and a rather snug-fitting white t-shirt that clings to his buff pecs and gives you a nice view of his muscular arms and more of his tattoos. You aren't sure what is more mouth-watering, the food that is simmering in one of the pots on Sukuna's stove or his big biceps that flex deliciously with every move.

Sukuna lifts you onto the kitchen counter, easily picking you up and setting you down as if you weigh nothing. A fact that makes you all flustered and sends your pulse racing, making you gratefully grab the wine glass Sukuna is offering you, so you can hide your face behind it and let the alcohol calm your nerves.

No man has ever cooked for you before, and watching Sukuna do it is one of the most attractive things you have ever witnessed. He is so sexy. Passionate and skilled, and still always taking time to playfully flirt with you or ask you to try one of his dishes, feeding you food from a spoon or from his fingers.

There is a special kind of electricity between you tonight. An almost touchable tension that makes your skin tingle anytime Sukuna brushes up against you.

His voice is husky when he tells you what ingredients he uses to marinate the roasted vegetables. And you can't help but let your tongue flick over his fingers when he pushes a slice of roasted zucchini against your lips.

Sukuna groans softly. Your breath hitches in your throat, and you look up at his tattooed face. You are met by a hungry glint in those beautiful maroon eyes that remind you of the wine Sukuna poured for you.

You are caught in Sukuna's intense gaze, unable to look away. Everything else seems to fade away.

And the next thing you know is that Sukuna is kissing you. Or maybe you were the one who pressed her lips against his first. You don't know. All you know is that you are kissing right here in Sukuna's kitchen while you sit on the kitchen counter, and he is standing between your legs. His large hands are cupping your cheeks and tilting your head back, and your hands are twisting in the front of his soft white t-shirt, pulling him closer to you as you sigh needily into his mouth.

Sukuna kisses you like you have never been kissed before. Passionate, fiery. Deep and sensual, making your head spin and your pulse flutter under Sukuna's hands.

You can't get enough of him and wrap your arms and legs around him as if you are scared he will vanish into thin air if you let go of him. You kiss him with a hunger unknown to you until now. Like a starving person being presented with a life-saving meal.

Sukuna's large hands trail down your sides, fingertips grazing over the sides of your breasts, eliciting a needy little whine from you, and further down until they reach your thighs. You are drunk on his kiss, drunk on him, melting under every little touch.

And Sukuna hums in the back of his throat and deepens the kiss even more. His large hands slip under you, cupping your ass, kneading it while he makes you moan around his tongue.

You have always been shy, but there is something about Sukuna and the way he makes you feel that makes you slip a hand under his t-shirt, feeling him up, greedily caressing his flexing abs, feeling dizzy at how good his firm muscles feel under your fingertips.

You both can't seem to stop kissing, both tumbling down further and further into this heated desire. You are faintly aware of Sukuna mumbling against your lips that the sauce needs to simmer for another hour anyway, and then he picks you up and lifts you easily off the kitchen counter while his lips claim yours again.

Sukuna carries you to his bedroom while never breaking the kiss, and you suck on his bottom lip and run your greedy hands through his soft pink hair and down his bulging biceps, wanting him so much that you think you will die if you don't get all of him tonight.

You sleep with Sukuna on his fancy bed, and it's nothing like it was with your husband. It's like you finally learn how sex is supposed to feel with a man who truly wants you.

Sukuna makes you feel wanted and desired, a feeling that is so new to you after all these years caught in a loveless marriage where your husband made you feel undesirable, unattractive, and like you would never be able to find anyone else with how your body looks and how lousy you are in bed.

But with Sukuna, it is completely different. You feel sexy here in his bed with the way he looks at you when he undresses you. And with the way he moans sweet praise in your ear before his lips and hands worship your body.

Sukuna is a real man. Experienced and confident, but so loving and patient with you when you get shy and tell him that you aren't very experienced and that your husband was disappointed in your skills in the bedroom.

At one point, you tense up, thinking Sukuna will get angry like your husband when you are clumsy during sex. But the opposite is the case. Sukuna is calm and gentle, talking to you in that sexy low voice, all soothing and sexy, telling you that it's ok and that you don't have to be scared or embarrassed.

He kisses you until your head spins and then asks you why you got so tense, asks you what you need. And you almost break out in tears, hugging him tightly, hiding your face in his defined pecs, inhaling his scent, and feeling so loved and so safe in his strong arms like never before.

"I just... I have only been with my husband, and he told me I am not good in bed. He always got mad at me when I didn't know how something worked. I am sorry if I am not what you are used to."

And you feel Sukuna's arms tightening around you, feel him tense up. But he isn't angry with you, only with your husband.

"That man is such a fool. Look at me, darling."

You lift your head off his chest and look at his tattooed face when he looks at you all earnestly,

"You are a beautiful woman, sexy and desirable, and I want to fuck you so good you forget your own name. Because that's what you deserve. And you don't have to be experienced or fuck like a pornstar. You are perfect the way you are, and you drive me crazy. And if you don't know how something works and you want to learn it, then I will teach you, and I promise I will be patient and gentle."

You nod wildly, feeling too emotional to speak, and instead press your body against Sukuna's and capture his lips in another needy kiss. You can feel his smile against your lips when he wraps his large hands around your waist and takes control.

Everything is so easy after that. No words are needed. Just hands and lips exploring each other's skin in heated caresses and bodies entangled in feverish passion. You let yourself fall, give yourself fully into Sukuna's loving hands. Let him take care of you like no one has ever done before.

He fucks you so good you cry.

All the years of feeling undesirable and not enough slip off you now that you are in Sukuna's bed under his gorgeous, tall, and heavy body, your nails leaving scratches on his broad back, hot tears of bliss streaming down your cheeks, and his name falling sweetly from your lips over and over again like a prayer.

It's like you are finally alive, like you are a flower that finally blooms after all these years.

+++

That first night in Sukuna's bed changed you profoundly.

You catch yourself smiling all day. There's a new bounce in your steps. You feel so much lighter. Your stomach is filled with butterflies as if you are a teenager again who has her first crush. Your chest feels so warm. You're filled with new hope. Maybe there is more to life and love than you thought, after all.

You feel like, for the first time, someone has really seen you. You weren't aware that sex like this existed in real life. That a man could make you fall apart like that. Sukuna fucked you in a way that was life-changing, making you feel like you gave him not just your body but also your soul.

And as passionate and nasty as the sex with Sukuna was, he made you feel respected the whole time. Adored. That is what makes you lose your mind anytime you think of it. You have been with your husband for so long, and yet even in the beginning, when the feelings were still fresh, he never made you feel adored or loved in bed. You didn't even know it until now, but he only ever made you feel used.

When your husband asks you for sex, you turn him down his time, telling him you aren't in the mood, and you don't even feel guilty for it.

You keep running back into Sukuna's strong arms over and over again. Into his bed, under his heavy body, where you feel loved and wanted. It's like he opened your eyes, and now you can see all those new colors that you only seem to be able to see with him.

+++

Your clandestine meetings continue for weeks. It surprises you to see winter turn into spring, and yet Sukuna is still texting you, inviting you to more dinner dates and to more intimate meetings in his bedroom. You always assumed he would end your little affair before things became too serious.

But somehow, he is still in your life, reserving his Wednesday evenings for you, buying you roses, and taking you to the best restaurants in the city.

One night, you sit up in his bed on the ruffled silk sheets and bite your lip as you let your gaze trail over Sukuna's naked body. His tattooed skin, his buff muscles, his beautiful silhouette. And you blurt out,

"Why do you keep seeing me?"

It's what you have been asking yourself from the start. What does Sukuna see in you? You are mediocre in every way. Average looks, no real talents, and no impressive career. A wife who got neglected by her husband because she wasn't good enough in his eyes. A woman in her thirties, who was replaced by a younger, more attractive version.

Sukuna, on the other hand, is gorgeous, powerful and rich, and his age only makes him more attractive. He could have anyone.

Sukuna hums softly and turns onto his side, lifting his head to watch you with curious maroon eyes.

"What do you mean, darling?"

You avert your gaze, sighing, bringing up your hands in a helpless little gesture,

"I... I mean, you are you, and I am me. And I just don't understand what you see in me."

Now, the noise Sukuna makes sounds a bit like a growl. You feel stupid for saying anything, already about to scramble out of his bed and flee before you make an even bigger fool of yourself. But you don't make it out of bed. Sukuna's strong arms wrap around you and stop you. He pulls you back into his arms and against his solid, broad chest.

"Don't belittle yourself like that. I keep asking to see you because I want to. Because I like spending time with you. You are so sweet. You make me feel so warm when I have always felt so cold."

His words hit you like a truck. You blink rapidly, your eyelashes fluttering against Sukuna's chest.

"R... really?"

He huffs softly, letting out a low chuckle as his large hand pets your hair,

"Yes, really. I used to only have one-night stands or casual flings. Just sex and nothing more. I used to think that was all I needed. But you showed me something different. Hell, I've never spent so much time with a woman before I slept with her for the first time. And I enjoyed every second of it! I like spending time with you to talk and laugh with you and just have this companionship. You make me feel like maybe I am not that cold-hearted asshole I always thought I was."

You gulp hard, tears filling your eyes. But this time, happy ones. You sniffle against Sukuna's naked chest and press a tender kiss to his tattooed skin.

"You are so sweet, Sukuna."

He laughs softly, and you can feel it against your cheek, a low rumble, where your face is resting on his chest,

"You are the first one who told me I am sweet. Are you sure?"

Now, you laugh softly, too. The insecurity you felt a moment ago forgotten,

"Yes, 100% sure. No one has ever treated me as sweet as you."

"It's what you deserve. You are so sweet that I want to be sweet for you, too. And..."

Sukuna's large hands tighten around your hips, and he flips you over. He rolls on top of you, covering you whole with his tall, broad body. His lips find your neck, trailing little kisses over it, his low voice a seductive murmur in your ear,

"You're not just sweet, but also beautiful and sexy, and you make me laugh, and I want to take you places and cook for you and also want to keep you on my cock all night and feel you squeeze around me and hear you cry my name."

Sukuna grinds his hips against you, pushing you into the mattress, taking you with one powerful, deep thrust for the second time tonight. You gasp and cling to his broad shoulders, your legs wrapping around his hips, welcoming him, craving him, needing him.

He takes it slow. Slow, deep thrusts, his forehead resting against yours, his low voice moaning sweet nothings in between deep, sensual kisses.

It's then that you realize that Sukuna is doing what no one else ever did to you. Sukuna is making love to you.

And you cry hot tears, drowning in his love and his body and everything he gives you. Your nails leave scratches on his broad back, your heels dig into his firm ass, as you throw your head back and cry out his name in the sweetest ecstasy.

He holds you afterward, lies behind you, and wraps his tall, strong body around you. He hugs you with his strong arms and nuzzles his face into your neck, breathing kisses onto your skin, not letting go of you, taking care of you, cuddling you. Something you also never had before. A man who is willingly holding you like that for hours after he came in you.

You sigh happily, still in a daze. The occasional tear still runs down your cheek as you snuggle against Sukuna's muscular body, and your hands caress his tattooed forearms tenderly. You never want to leave his arms again. You want to stay right here.

As if reading your mind, Sukuna's low voice murmurs against your skin again,

"I mean it, darling. I like having you in my life. So much that I want you in it all the time."

One of his large hands caresses your belly, so tender, so loving, sending butterflies fluttering in it like crazy. And Sukuna breathes in your ear,

"Be mine."

You draw in a sharp breath and turn around in Sukuna's arms, cupping his face with your hands as you kiss him, long and sweet, and in between kisses, you murmur against his lips,

"I am already yours."

You know it is the truth. Even though you are still married to another man, even though you are still living with your husband, you are Sukuna's woman now. You suspect you have been Sukuna's woman for several months already, long before you allowed yourself to admit it out loud.

+++

Two hours later, you are buttoning up your coat, about to leave Sukuna's apartment and the sweet bliss of his arms and return to your cold, loveless marriage, and your lonely apartment, when Sukuna stops in front of you. He reaches out, wordlessly helping you with the buttons, dominant in such a caring way, and somehow, that small loving gesture makes your lips tremble as you are overcome by emotions.

He is so good to you. Such a giant of a man, so tall and broad and powerful. And yet, he treats you so gently. Large hands buttoning up your coat for you. The hands that also cook Michelin-star-worthy meals for you, or wash your hair in his luxurious bathtub. The hands that make you see stars when they finger you oh so good. The hands that caress your cheek tenderly and brush your tears away with so much care. Hands that give to you over and over again. A hundred little acts of service that this powerful man gives to you.

"Sukuna, I..."

You trail off, not able to put into words what you want to say to him. How much he means to you. How much you want him. How he made you believe in love again. How much you crave to leave your old life behind and start over new with Sukuna even though you are so scared of change.

Before you can say any of it, Sukuna grabs your wrists, takes them firmly but gently into his larger hands, and looks at you intensely.

"Leave that asshole. He doesn't deserve you, princess. If a man can't see what he has in you, then he is trash. Don't be scared. I can take much better care of you than him. I'll fuck you good and make you only cry happy tears. I will appreciate you like you deserve. I will love you like you deserve. I will ensure you always have everything you need. I have money, and I can protect you. Tell me, darling, who would you feel safer with waking through the city in the middle of the night? That joke of a man or me?"

Of course, you know the answer.

"I love you, Sukuna."

"I love you, too."

His strong arms wrap around you and pull you into a hug, and you nuzzle your face into his chest, inhaling the comforting scent of his cologne. And finally, here in the safety of Sukuna's embrace, you say those words you have been too scared to say until now,

"I will leave him. I want to be with you. Only with you, Kuna."

You can hear the smile in Sukuna's voice when he replies,

"I'll help you, sweetheart. I have one of the best lawyers in the whole country. I'll call him tomorrow to prepare the divorce papers. I'll take care of everything for you."

Sukuna cups the back of your head and leans down to kiss your forehead gently, reassuringly. He looks at you with that boyish grin you fell in love with and adds in a playful and husky voice,

"And once all of this is dealt with, I will make you my wife."

He takes your left hand into his, turning it around, inspecting the wedding ring you are still wearing, scrunching his nose at it,

"And I'll give you a much prettier ring."

+++

You let the door fall softly shut behind you one last time as you walk out of the apartment you had been sharing with your husband for over a decade. A smile lifts your lips. You are glad to close this chapter of your life.

You know that a braver woman would have left her husband sooner, would have moved out, or kicked him out the moment she found out he was cheating on her. Maybe even sooner, when she realized she was unhappy in that marriage. But you aren't brave. You have always been full of self-doubts and fears. Too ashamed to crawl back to your parents and admit that you hadn't been strong enough to endure your marriage. Too scared that you would never recover from the financial loss of the divorce. Too insecure to believe you could ever make it on your own.

But now you have Sukuna. And the fall doesn't seem so high anymore. You know Sukuna will catch you in his strong arms. He won't let you crash to the ground.

In the end, you think it doesn't matter how you got out of that unhappy marriage and into this loving relationship. All that matters is that you got a second chance to learn how love is supposed to be.

And it still takes bravery to leave your husband and walk into Sukuna's arms. To close the door of your marriage and open the one that leads to the man who came into your life as an illicit affair but has become your one and only.

OH SUKUNA, I NEED YOU 😭😭💗💗 He really took one look at Reader having her breakdown in that restaurant and was like, "I will steal that woman from that loser and give her what she deserves." Thank you, Kuna baby ;)

Thank you so much if you read the whole thing! This story became much longer than I thought, but the words wouldn't stop flowing out of me because this story made me so happy. I hope it could give some of you the same feeling.

I often see posts/articles that victim-blame the women who don't have the courage to leave an unhappy marriage, so I wanted to write something where Reader isn't a strong, independent woman but someone who needs a little encouragement and lots of love from a man like Kuna before she dares make the decision to leave her husband. She deserves all the happiness!

I hope you enjoyed the story and maybe fell a little in love with this version of Sukuna, too 💗

Comments and reblogs would be very sweet.

[therealcodfather]

ᯓ★ Smajor collage! ⊹₊✦⋆

(divider creds: @lovwoung )

[arievanille]

oh my goodness a christian shifter! i am also a christian who’d love to be a shifter! i just worry i am betraying god, is this like okay to do?

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ?

hi anon, hope you’re doing well!! [ divider by @lovwoung ]

to answer your question — it’s not disrespectful to shift realities as i believe God has shown you shifting for a reason.

as for going against his word or betraying him, that’s not okay to do. would you betray someone who loves you? or someone you love? think about it, do you want to betray God?

you can definitely talk to him about it through prayer! he has most of the answers i don’t have and that i’m assuming you’re looking for, so i’d advise you to pray more or simply talk with him about it more!

( the winter photo is edited by me! if you use it pls credit me )

[lovelysweetlillies]