#distraction is just a reality of working with animals

[darkwood-sleddog]

January 5, 2025

[gojoscinnamonroll]

sleepovers with your boyfriend satoru !!

the first time you had ever invited your boyfriend satoru gojo over for a sleepover, he felt like that was the best moment of his life. spending quality time with you and he doesn't have to leave you for the night right after?? hell yeah, that was a win for the giddy and clingy, fluffy white-haired man. once he received the "come spend the night with me 'toru, i can't sleep without you." text, he started squealing and bouncing on his toes like a teenage girl in love, throwing all the clothes and necessities he had into a bag and immediately racing over. since then, the sleepovers had turned into a every weekend thing for the both of you, never having one boring sleepover with your loving boy.

he never fails to show up at your door with your favorite snacks and junk food to munch on while the two of you watch trashy reality shows or emotional, cheesy, sappy movies. and in return, you always buy silly face masks (sometimes matching hello kitty or animal print) for the two of you to have on while watching.

of course, with ‘toru having a sweet tooth and you always needing a sweet little treat, you two always decide to bake something delicious around 12am. whether that be cookies, cinnamon rolls, kikufuku, cakes, etc with some jams playing in the background to listen to together (and satoru definitely getting distracted by the music that he starts dancing & ends up getting frosting or sugar or something all over himself with you having to clean him up.)

when you and your lover finally get into bed and settle down after stuffing your faces with sweets to cuddle with the lights off, he always has some random late night thought he always likes to converse about to keep you awake just a little longer.

"sweets, do you think aliens are real and will take over the world someday? or or or maybe, what if they think we're the aliens?" he ponders. " 'toru baby.. what the heck?? are you talking about???" you murmured sleepily but trying to hide your grin.

and when the night’s festivities end, when you fall asleep laying on satoru’s chest as he combs through your hair and admires all the features of your face as you sleep soundly with quiet snores coming from you, he lets out a soft giggle as he thinks about how he'd spend everyday and night for the rest of his life with you like this pulling you in closer and falling into a slumber as well.

likes + reblogs appreciated <3 please don't steal/copy/modify my works!

[sleepingdiaryzzz]

Yandere batfamily x neglected reader

From the moment you were ten, you had sought their attention like a moth drawn to a flame. But the flame was always too hot, always too far away, and with every desperate attempt to get close, they burned you. You had been a shadow in their world, hovering at the edges of their lives, wanting, needing. Needing. That word, so simple, yet it had been the curse of your existence. You needed them. You needed their time, their care, their love. But they never saw you, never acknowledged the pit of loneliness that gnawed at you every time you begged to be included.

They had brushed you aside, every single time.

The family, your family, was never really yours.

It started when you were just a kid. “Not now, kid,” they would say. Or “Go play somewhere else.” Every time you tried to insert yourself into their lives, they shoved you away, like a toy they’d grown tired of. They didn’t need you. Not when there were bigger things at stake. Not when Gotham was drowning in its own darkness, when the Batcave was filled with the hum of machinery and the rush of adrenaline.

You were just a distraction.

You were nothing.

The words didn’t change as you grew older. They only got sharper.

When you were twelve, you tried again—this time with more subtlety. You offered to help, to be something, anything that would make them notice you. I can be useful, I promise. But no. No, they couldn’t have you tagging along. Not when there were more important things to do, more important people to be with. You were only a child.

By the time you turned fifteen, the bitter reality had set in. You weren’t wanted. You weren’t needed. They were a family—their family—and you? You were the outcast, the inconvenience they only tolerated because they had no choice. They didn’t want you, but they had to keep you around. The occasional glance from Tim, a brief acknowledgment from Dick—enough to keep the illusion of familial love alive, but never enough to make you feel like you mattered.

It wasn’t just Bruce anymore. He had become an empty figure in your life, a distant authority figure who only spoke when there was something to be done. Do this. Do that. Don’t ask questions. That was how you learned to live under his roof—like a shadow. Like a nothing.

There were moments when you thought you might be able to break through. When you thought maybe—just maybe—they would see you for who you were, someone who could stand beside them, shoulder to shoulder, not as a burden but as a part of the family.

But those moments were fleeting. They were crumbs, pieces of hope that you clung to like a starving animal, only for them to be yanked away, leaving you empty once again.

By the time you turned sixteen, you no longer asked. No longer begged. You had learned that your needs were nothing but noise to them. So, you stayed quiet, retreating into the corners of their lives. You were there, but invisible. A ghost that haunted the edges of their family but was never invited to sit at the table.

But it wasn’t just the coldness that broke you. No. It was the sharpness of their words.

The day it all ended—the day your last shred of hope died—had come like a storm.

You were seventeen when you finally broke. You had asked, yet again, for something so simple. You wanted to hang out, to spend the evening together, just for once. No work. No patrols. Just them. Just family. But Dick—always so perfect, so composed—snapped.

“Stop nagging, goddammit!” His voice was low, but the venom was there. The venom that cut deeper than any blade. “I don’t have time for this. You’re not a kid anymore. You should know better.”

And it was in that moment, when the words hit you like fists to your chest, that you knew. It was over. They will never care about you.

No more pleading. No more silence. You were done.

You wanted to scream, to break down and tell him how it felt to always be ignored, to always be pushed aside. But you didn’t. You couldn’t. All you could do was stare at him, the person you had once looked up to, the brother who had made you feel like you belonged. And now? Now he hated you. He resented you. You were just a thorn in his side, something he couldn’t wait to get rid of.

The Batfamily didn’t need you. They didn’t even want you. You were just a memory in the background of their perfect little world.

And so, you left.

You packed your things and left Gotham without a second thought. You didn’t care anymore. You didn’t care about them. You didn’t care about the lies you had told yourself for years, that someday they would come to love you. No. You were done.

You found a small apartment in a city far, far away. The rent was cheap. The food was okay. It didn’t matter. For the first time in years, you felt a strange kind of peace. No more begging. No more hoping for something that was never going to come.

But the peace didn’t last long. It never does.

Months passed, and the Batfamily went on without you. It wasn’t like you expected them to notice, but they did. They always did.

It started slowly at first. A message from Bruce, terse and businesslike, asking how you were. A phone call from Dick, his voice hesitant, full of uncertainty. Tim sent an email—just a few lines, but still. He’d written “We miss you.”

You didn’t respond. The first few days, you let it sit there, those words ringing in your ears. We miss you. The words came so easily now, but where had they been all those years? You stared at the screen, a hollow laugh escaping your lips. Miss you? They had pushed you aside when you needed them most. They had ignored you, told you to shut up, told you to go away.

Now they missed you?

You threw your phone across the room and sat down, gripping your hair, letting the quiet take you over.

It wasn’t until the second month that they started to call. At first, it was Tim—his voice softer than it had been in years, like a penitent ghost, when he called you.

“Please… just talk to us. We’re… we’re worried about you.”

You didn’t pick up.

Then, Dick. His voice cracked when he asked if you were okay. Just talk to us. How many times had you told them that? How many times had you begged? And now, they were begging you? You felt the rage swell inside you, the bitterness of those years threatening to break you apart.

And that was when they came.

It wasn’t just a phone call. It wasn’t just messages anymore. They came looking for you.

Nightwing was the first. He showed up at your door, standing there in his familiar suit, but his smile was tight, his eyes uncertain.

“Please,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “We just want to talk.”

You stared at him, the same person who had once smiled at you like you meant the world to him. And now? Now he looked like a stranger. Someone who didn’t know who you were. And maybe, in a way, he didn’t.

“Why?” you asked, your voice rough from months of silence. “Why now? Where were you when I needed you?”

The guilt in his eyes only deepened. “We were wrong,” he said, the words fragile, like he was afraid they would break if spoken too loudly. “We… we miss you.”

The anger rose in your chest. They missed you?

The words sounded so hollow. What good was their love now?

They all came. One by one, each member of the family arrived at your door, apologizing, begging for forgiveness, for your attention, your love.

But it was too late.

They had pushed you away for too long, and now you could feel it: the suffocating weight of their regret, the twisting hunger of their need.

They needed you. They needed you so badly. They would never let you go again.

It wasn’t just about family anymore. It wasn’t just about reconciliation. Now, it was about possession.

And the family would do whatever it took to keep you close—no matter the cost.

Gotham had never felt farther away, yet the shadows of the family loomed larger than ever.

You weren’t sure if you were ready to go back, to reopen that door. But deep down, you knew one thing.

They would never let you leave again.

And now?

Now, they were willing to do anything to make sure of it.

(A/n: no part 2 becuz it's a one shot 😸)

[levisjinchuriki]

forever yours

summary: you and gojo have been separated for six months due to his troubles. you try to juggle co-parenting your young son and moving on, but gojo makes it obvious he’s not ready to give you up on your relationship yet

warning: just angst

word count: 2.3k

the separation of you and gojo was hard. you had devoted so much of your life, time and energy to him only to feel like you weren’t a priority. it was a terrible feeling you could push past during the first few years together, but after your wedding and the birth of your son, you started to realize how unfair it was. 

gojo’s job kept him away from home a lot, leaving you to take care of your son, haru. when he did manage to get some time off- things just didn’t feel the same as they once were. he always seemed distracted. 

he still loved you, of course. you were the only woman in his life he had ever truly been in love with. that will never change. and he didn’t realize how much he was slacking until you served him divorce papers one night- looking so defeated. it caught him off guard, and he was surprised that you had taken such a step. 

you were steadfast as gojo tried to convince you out of your decision. and when you didn’t budge he realized how many mistakes he’d made leading up to this moment. he couldn’t blame you, but he also couldn’t force you to take him back. 

he didn’t sign the papers. there’s no way in hell he’d do that. delusional or not, he’d convinced himself you’d be together again and going through the motions of a divorce would just complicate everything. he did reach a compromise with you, though. he was forced to accept the reality that he had lost you as his wife. gojo had enough money to take care of both you and haru so you could focus on raising him without having to work. per your request to live separately, gojo moved into an apartment on the other side of town. 

and when gojo put the last of his belongings in the moving truck haru ran up to him, sobbing as his small body clutched at gojo’s legs. 

“don’t go daddy” haru cried against him. it broke gojo’s heart. not only was he losing you as his wife, but his actions had torn his family apart. haru, the light of his life, was forced to be in the middle of his parent’s separation. it wasn’t fair to him and the guilt ate at gojo everyday.

your son loved his father, and if there was one thing gojo prioritized- it was haru. 

you had to turn away as tears slipped down your cheeks. it was almost too much for you to handle. you tried to stick through your marriage for haru’s sake, but you couldn’t keep up the act anymore. and although you were the one pushing him away, it hurt so much to see satoru leave. but it was the best decision for you, both mentally and emotionally. 

he had moved out six months ago now and still, the house felt all too empty.

—

the sound of Haru’s footsteps echo as he moves from room to room, looking for something to occupy his mind. he's become used to his dad not always being around, but he’s just a boy and he still needs his father in his life. gojo is still present, though only on the weekends when he has most of his free time. you would never completely take either of them away from each other. 

you sit on the couch, staring blankly at the screen in front of you- not sure what you had been watching as you aren’t paying attention. haru had been quiet tonight, spending most of his time drawing or playing alone. he’s almost four, now. he’s bright and everything you need. 

you smile as haru walks into the living room, clutching his favorite stuffed animal and rubbing his eyes. 

“mommy,” he yawns softly, “can i call daddy?”.

even after all these months the question is like a knife to your heart. you’ve tried to protect him from the worst of the separation, but the longing in his eyes is something you can’t ignore. you nod, forcing a smile. “of course, baby”. 

the phone rings a few times before gojo answers. his voice always has a warmth to it that makes you melt every time. 

“hey,” he greets. “is it bedtime?”. haru would talk to his dad every night before bed, a ritual that he tries his hardest not to break, even if he is busy with work. 

“yeah, he wants to speak to you”, you say.

haru’s small hands eagerly hold the phone to his ear, his face lights up at the sound of his father’s voice. “daddy! it’s me!”, he says excitedly. your heart melts at how much he loves his father.

gojo’s tone immediately softens. “hi, sweet boy. how’s my little guy doing?” he coos. gojo cherishes every moment he has with haru. it means so much to him to talk to him every night and make sure he’s okay, even if he isn’t around anymore. 

haru babbles about his day and gojo eagerly listens. he loves it when his son gets excited. 

haru clutches the phone tightly after he finishes, suddenly becoming upset. his small voice trembles slightly at his next sentence. “i miss you, daddy. when are you coming home?”. 

the silence on the other end of the line is heavy. gojo’s breathing is a mixture of sadness and regret. he wishes he could be there with the both of you. 

“i miss you too”. he’s not sure how to answer the little boy’s question. it all depends on you and if you are willing to sort through your issues together or not. he hopes you will decide to, but your relationship hasn’t improved much since he moved out. he’s not even sure if you still wear your ring. 

you can see haru’s eyes welling up with tears as he tries to hold back his emotions. 

“why can’t you come home? i want you here with us.”. he didn’t understand why his father had left in the first place. he’s too young to understand the concept of separation, even though you and gojo have explained it to him before. in his mind, if you both love each other then you should all be living together as one. he can’t grasp that even if you love someone so much, sometimes you have to let them go. 

gojo clears his throat. “i know, precious. things are complicated right now, but i promise i’m working on it”. whether he’s successful or not, gojo intends to try to mend things with you in any way he can.

“i’m coming to pick you up tomorrow and we can spend the whole weekend together. how does that sound?”. he tries to cheer haru up. 

the boy sniffles and wipes his eyes. “okay, daddy. i love you”. 

“i love you too, haru,” gojo says softly. “more than anything”. 

after a few more exchanged words and assurances, haru hands the phone back to you before climbing in your lap. you rub his back comfortingly as you bring the phone to your ear. 

“you still there?”, gojo asks. without needing to mask his tone for his son, you can hear just how defeated he sounds. 

you confirm you’re still on the line. the conversation is short- you and gojo discussing when to meet at the park tomorrow for him to pick up haru. in the last few months you’ve stopped having personal conversations with him- just trying to focus on co-parenting. it was easier for you that way.

you look down at your son and brush his hair from his face. he’s a spitting image of his father- same ghostly white locks and stunning eyes that held all the potential of the world within them. every time you looked at him, it was like seeing a smaller, more innocent version of satoru. and that made it harder to move on.

“daddy loves you very much. we’ll see him soon, okay?”, you assure him with a kiss on the head. 

haru nods against your shoulder, his small frame cuddled up to you. “okay, mommy”.

you hold him tightly, wishing you can offer more than just words of comfort. the house is still big and empty, but you try to fill it with all the love and reassurance you could muster. for haru’s sake, you hope that someday soon, this will all be behind you.

—

haru’s laughter rings out as he chases a butterfly through the empty park, the pure sound filling the air with a sweetness that tugs at your heart. you watch him, torn between the joy of his innocence and the ache of the life you once dreamed of with satoru. the butterfly flutters just out of haru's reach, and he giggles, his happiness a stark contrast to the storm of emotions brewing inside you.

the crunch of footsteps on gravel snaps you out of your thoughts, and though you don’t look up, you know who it is. satoru’s presence is unmistakable, a force that commands attention even without a word. he slides onto the bench beside you, close enough that his warmth seeps into your skin without touching you. he watches haru play for a moment before turning his attention to you. 

“i missed you”. his voice is sweet like honey, the words slipping out effortlessly. it’s that natural charm, the way he makes even the simplest phrases sound enchanting, that drew you to him in the first place. 

you turn to face him, finally meeting his gaze. those damn blue eyes–deep and endless like the ocean—have always been your weakness, pulling you in no matter how hard you try to resist. they hold a mix of emotions, swirling with the memories of a past you can’t quite let go of. his eyes search yours, and for a moment, it feels like time stops, as if the world around you fades away, leaving just the two of you and the unspoken feelings hanging in the air.

“what we had was a life full of complications,” you respond, not allowing yourself to get pulled into his trap. “you’re still in that world, satoru. and i can’t be a part of it anymore. haru can’t be a part of it”. 

his jaw tightens as a flicker of determination flashes in his eyes. “just because you’re pushing me away doesn’t mean i’m gonna give up”, his voice is low, laced with a quiet resolve.  “i haven’t given up on us”. the weight of his words hangs between you, thick with emotion, as if he’s daring you to believe him, to see the fight still left in him.

your heart aches at his words. you want to believe him, to let yourself fall back into the warmth of his promises. there is still so much love in your heart for satoru, but love alone isn’t enough to mend the things that had broken you apart. the dangers he faced daily, the secrets he kept hidden away, the growing distance that had slowly stretched between you until it became an uncrossable chasm—it had all become too much. the memories of what you once had clash with the reality of what you've lost, leaving you torn between the past and the painful truth of the present.

“don’t make this harder than it already is.” you plead, feeling your resolve weaken. he reaches out, gently taking your hand in his. 

i’m not ready to let you go,” he admits, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “i don’t know if i’ll ever be.”

the confession hangs between you, heavy and unresolved. it would be so easy to slip back into old habits, to let him back in and pretend that everything could be okay again. but you deserve more than that. and deep down, you know the truth. satoru isn’t ready to change, and you aren’t ready to keep living in a world where he could be taken away at any moment. the weight of his unfulfilled promises and the uncertainty of your future press down on you, a reminder of the painful reality you can’t escape.

“haru needs stability,” you say softly, pulling your hand away. “he needs a life that doesn’t revolve around waiting for his father to come home in one piece”. gojo doesn’t miss a beat

“and what about you?” satoru asks, his voice laced with a vulnerability that he rarely showed. “what do you need?”

for a moment, silence envelops you both, the weight of the question hanging heavily in the air, unspoken yet profoundly understood. you look at him, at the man who once meant everything to you, and feel the tears well up in your eyes.

you need to move on. it’s been half a year, and you’re still in the same place, still foolishly hoping that satoru will change overnight. still waiting for him to burst through the door, fall to his knees, and apologize for everything that’s gone wrong in your relationship. the reality of your stagnant situation presses down on you, a painful reminder that hope alone isn’t enough to mend the fractures that have grown too deep.

haru’s laughter rings out again, drawing both of your eyes to him as he runs toward you, blissfully unaware of the tension between his parents. satoru stands up as haru reaches him, lifting him into his arms with a grin that makes your heart clench. he showers haru’s chubby cheeks with kisses, telling him how much he’s missed him this week, making haru giggle with delight. Satoru is such a good father, and that only makes everything harder.

“ready to go?” he asks, holding haru close. the boy nods, and satoru tells him to say goodbye to you.

“bye, mommy!” haru waves enthusiastically. you kiss his cheek and tell him you’ll pick him up soon.

“i’ll see you sunday?” satoru confirms, his gaze searching yours.

you nod, unable to trust your voice. with one last wave at haru you watch as they make their way toward his car. as they disappear from view, the weight of what you’re leaving behind settles heavily over you. moving on was never easy, but with satoru, it feels almost impossible.

----

>> ch 2

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ thank you for reading!! everyone is welcome to leave feedback and requests in my inbox!! please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist! ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

[sadnymi]

「 ✦ One of your girls .✦ 」

[Theodore Nott x reader]

Summary: Theodore Nott was the love of my life, the one I'd trade my whole world for. But this summer, I yearned for a different role in his life, even if it meant becoming just one of his girls

Warning:fluff,angst,smut, oral (f!received), fingering, lying about virginity,(+18)

Words:8k

In this world of labels there are , "good boys" and "bad boys," Theodore Nott existed in a category all his own. like devil in disguise, but manlier. And definitely hotter by like a thousand degrees .

As I stood there, captivated by his interaction with a Gryffindor girl, two stark realizations crashed over me. First, I desperately needed to refine my Marauder mischief skills. And More importantly, I needed to bridge the chasm between myself and Theodore. This summer, I wouldn't just be his little sister's best friend; I craved a different role in his life.

Lana's voice, sharp and cutting through my reverie, jolted me back to reality. "Y/N, are you with me?"

"Forgive me, my thoughts wandered," I muttered, composing myself with practiced neutrality.

“I was just saying, I really want Dad to approve this environmental camp," she continued, her enthusiasm undeterred.

"Absolutely," I agreed, forcing a smile. "Those Larus birds undeniably deserve all the protection we can offer." However, my gaze remained tethered to Theodore and his seemingly animated conversation with the Gryffindor girl.

"Right?" Lana beamed. "Perhaps Theo or Christian could help us sway Father?" Lana suggested hopefully.

"An excellent suggestion," I managed, a barbed comment forming on my tongue.

Perhaps your brother would engage in more productive activities than fraternizing with the Gryffindor girl. But I swallowed the retort.

"Christian can be a bit overprotective, bless his heart," Lana began, "but I do believe the 'puppy-dog eyes' technique, as he calls it, might work on Theo," Lana mused cheerfully.believe

A pang of curiosity shot through me. Could this "puppy eyes" technique be effective on Theo as well? I stifled the urge to inquire.

As if sensing my scrutiny, I almost choked on a gasp when he turned, our eyes locking for a beat too long. Then, as if a switch had been flipped, he resumed his conversation with the Gryffindor girl. My mind conjured elaborate – and disturbing – daydreams of her demise.

"Are you alright?" Lana's voice held a hint of worry.

"Perfect," I muttered, the word a lie heavy on my tongue. My heart hammered against my ribs, a frantic drumbeat against the backdrop of my escalating jealousy.

"Then let's proceed," she declared, taking my hand in hers.

The world became a blur as we walked, the proximity to Theo and his unwelcome companion amplifying my agitation. My pulse pounded in my ears, a relentless drumbeat against the backdrop of muted classroom sounds.

Finally, we passed them. Still, Theo's gaze lingered on me, a silent connection that sent a wave of heat through my body. Just as abruptly, , Then in a move that stole the breath from my lungs, the Gryffindor girl cupped Theodore's jaw, pulling him down for a rough, aggressive kiss. I averted my eyes, a wave of nausea washing over me.

“ EWWW “ Lana muttered, mirroring my own disgust.

“Perhaps," I ventured, my voice tight with unspoken emotions, "you should utilize those puppy dog eyes sooner before he gets distracted again “

Potions became a blurry mess of bubbling cauldrons and swirling fumes. Snape's usual scathing commentary faded into the background, as my mind replayed the scene on loop: Theo, his lips locked with the Gryffindor girl, a stranger who somehow managed to snag his attention. Her triumphant smirk as she pulled away felt branded onto my eyelids.

Jealousy gnawed at me like a rogue Flobberworm. Every stolen glance his way felt like a betrayal, a secret message only I could decipher. Was this what Lana meant by "puppy eyes"? Because right now, all I wanted to do was unleash my inner dragon and set the damn girl ablaze.

The Great Hall echoed with the boisterous chatter of lunchtime. As I joined my friends at the Slytherin table, a familiar warmth washed over me – camaraderie, yes, but something more potent simmered beneath the surface. My stolen glance at Theo, however, sent a jolt of conflicting emotions. He was already there, his dark eyes locked on mine for a lingering moment before he averted his gaze.

A playful tug on my braid brought me back to reality. Lana, a mischievous glint in her eyes, was trying to get me out of my misery that she can’t quite understand what gets me into

Mattheo, being his usual blunt self, decided to stir up some trouble, "Just want to make sure the rumors are true. Did our little Y/N break Cedric Diggory's heart?"he said, causing Theo's gaze to intensify on me, igniting a mix of excitement and nervousness within me.

"Sorry, what?" I stammered, my voice barely above a whisper.

"It's okay, y/n, we can see that you're at that age for those kinds of things. What puberty did to you can't go unnoticed,"

My cheeks burned a furious red. The air crackled with tension as Blaise's words hung in the air.

Before I could retort, a cold fury replaced Theo's usual nonchalance. "Shut the hell up, Zabini, before I make you."

His sharp tone silenced the table. I stole a glance at him, he looked relaxed despite his tone , his eyes locked in a silent battle with Blaise. And that was well- very awkward

Matteo, unfazed by Theo's outburst, pressed on. "Back to the broken heart thing, did you really ditch a date with Diggory?"

My cheeks burned under the scrutiny of the table. "It wasn't like that, he understood," I stammered, desperately trying to salvage the situation. "I just said I had to study."

Lana, oblivious to my boiling frustration, jumped in. "No, no, she's just being humble! Cedric was head over heels! He was moping around for days after she said no, his heart practically shattered. Still he can't seem to take his eyes off her today."

I shot her a glare that could curdle milk, but she just winked back, clearly enjoying the drama.

"Why'd you turn him down, then?" Blaise pressed, his amusement evident.

Theo, however, surprised everyone. "She's still too young for that," he muttered. Really? The audacity! My hand twitched, a silent promise of violence aimed at his handsome but infuriating face.

My temper flared. "First of all," I stated, fixing him with a hard stare, "I'm only a year younger than you. Second, I said no because it wouldn't be fair to either of us. I already have feelings for someone else."

A collective gasp rippled through the group.

"You never told me that!" Lana exclaimed, her eyes wide with surprise.

"No," I said, trying to project a confidence I didn't entirely feel. My gaze locked with Theo's, daring him to look away. "I was planning on telling you… tonight."

"Who is this mystery man?" Matteo leaned forward, his tone laced with curiosity. "Do we know him?"

"No, you don't," I lied smoothly, a flicker of defiance sparking in my chest. "He graduated."

A wave of disappointment washed over Blaise's face. "Oooh, Y/N, you sneaky minx! Who knew you had that in you?"

The Hogwarts Express rumbled to a halt, signaling the end of the semester and the glorious (or dreaded, depending on who you asked) freedom of summer. Bidding farewell to Lana, whose eyes held a knowing glint that made me sweat, I trudged off the train, eager to reach the familiar comfort of my own home.

Living just two houses away from Theo and Lana meant constant proximity, which could be either a blessing or a curse depending on how things unfolded. The lie about a mysterious older boyfriend sat heavy in my stomach. It was a desperate attempt to buy myself some breathing room, a chance to navigate the confusing maze of emotions swirling within me.

The oppressive heat of summer hung heavy in the air, mirroring the nervous knot in my stomach. Lana's father had finally approved the conservation camp, and while I was happy for her, a pang of disappointment shot through me. That meant less time to figure things out with Theo.

Taking a deep breath I slipped into a summer dress – the kind that hugged my curves perfectly and left a trail of cool air on my skin.

Taking a deep breath, I crossed the two houses separating our homes and knocked on Theo's door. My heart hammered a frantic rhythm against my ribs. What was I even doing here?

The door creaked open, revealing Mrs. Finch, the Nott family housekeeper, her face etched with surprise. "Miss Y/N? What a surprise! Mr. Theo is the only one home, I'm afraid. Miss Lana's still out."

My cheeks flushed crimson. This was not the grand entrance I'd envisioned. "Oh!" I feigned surprise. "Goodness, how forgetful of me. I just realized I left something in Lana's room. Terribly sorry to bother you, Mrs. Finch."

The housekeeper's expression softened. "No trouble at all, dear. Just head on up, third door on the right."

With a mumbled thank you, I practically sprinted up the stairs, my heart thundering in my chest. This impulsive, poorly-planned visit was already spiraling out of control. Would he see through my flimsy excuse? Most importantly, what was I going to say to him once I was alone with him under the guise of borrowing something from Lana?

The familiar chaos of Lana's room swam before my eyes. Clothes littered the floor, forgotten textbooks sat precariously on the desk,I don’t know why she insisted that no one else but her clean her room when she barley do it

"Are you lost?"

The sound of Theo's voice cut through the mental fog. I spun around, heart hammering against my ribs like a frantic hummingbird. He stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame, his gaze lingering on me a beat too long.

And then, his eyes scanned me from head to toe, a slow, deliberate sweep that sent a jolt of heat straight to my core. Merlin's beard, I wanted to be on my knees (respectfully, of course). That summer dress, the impulsive visit - everything suddenly felt like a terrible, wonderful mistake.

"N-no," I stammered, my voice barely above a whisper. "I, uh, just came to… borrow something from Lana." The lie tasted like ashes in my mouth, but I couldn't bring myself to confess my real motive. Not yet, anyway.

Theo pushed himself off the doorframe, taking a slow step closer. The air crackled with a tension that had nothing to do with the summer heat. "Is that right?" he drawled, his voice a low rumble that sent shivers down my spine. His eye held an unreadable depth that made my breath hitch.

"Yes," I managed, forcing myself to meet his gaze. "She mentioned a book on… Larus migration patterns? I thought I might borrow it for some summer reading."

He raised an eyebrow, a hint of amusement playing on his lips. "Larus migration patterns, huh? Sounds like a fascinating read for a summer day."

His words were laced with a double meaning, and a blush crept up my cheeks. Was he teasing me? Did he suspect my real reason for being here?

The silence stretched, thick and heavy. My carefully constructed plan was falling apart faster than a poorly brewed Amortentia potion. But before I could stammer out another excuse, Theo surprised me with a soft chuckle.

"Well," he drawled, his voice softer now, "since Lana's not here, perhaps I could help you find the book."

The breath caught in my throat. Here I was, caught red-handed (or rather, red-dressed), and yet, Theo's amusement was oddly disarming. His casual demeanor didn't quite match the intensity I'd glimpsed in his eyes moments ago.

"Really?" I squeaked, my voice barely above a whisper. The air crackled between us, charged with a sudden shift in energy.

A slow smirk played on his lips. "Yeah, why not? Did you want someone else to help you, maybe?"

He took a slow step forward, his presence filling the room. I instinctively leaned back, my back hitting the wall with a soft thud. A thrill shot through me as his eyes lingered on my face, a storm brewing beneath the surface.

"He's not here, though," he drawled, the amusement leaving his voice. "So bad."

Confusion clouded my mind. "He?" I stammered.

Theo's brows furrowed. "Oh, your older, hot crush? That's what you said, right? So you're here all dressed up and making excuses for nothing." The smile that had been playing on his lips vanished completely.

A wave of panic washed over me. "Are you kidding me?" I blurted out, unable to contain my frustration. Heat crept up my cheeks. "Are you that blind?" just then I realized the depth of my mistake. He thought my crush was Christopher, his own brother!

He was close now, so close I could feel the warmth radiating from his body. His hands braced themselves on either side of my face, caging me in. My breath caught in my throat.

"Trapped?" he murmured, his voice a low growl.

If looks could kill, I would have been dead. Theo's expression was a mix of anger, hurt, and confusion. I reached out hesitantly, my fingers brushing against his cheek. Thankfully, he didn't pull away.

"It's not Christopher," I whispered, my eyes darted drawn to the tempting curve of his lips.

"Oh yeah?" he challenged, his voice husky.

I couldn't hold back any longer. This was it. With a surge of desperation, I cupped his face with one hand, the other finding its way to the back of his neck and I kissed him.

It was a moment of pure, unadulterated passion. I was kissing Theo it wasn’t a dream , feeling the heat and intensity of the moment wash over me. My lips on his, our breaths mingling, it was my first kiss, but that fact faded into insignificance. He was the only thing that mattered.

Panic briefly gripped me when he didn't immediately respond to the kiss. I pulled away, searching his eyes for any sign of reciprocation, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Fuck," he muttered, pulling me closer, lifting me effortlessly until my legs were wrapped around his waist. His kiss this time was harder, more urgent, our bodies pressed against the wall as he devoured my lips.

It was a hungry kiss, filled with raw desire and longing. I moaned into his mouth, unable to contain the pleasure that surged through me. As his tongue sought entry, I responded eagerly, my hand finding its way to his shoulder, the other tangling in his hair. It felt intoxicatingly good, every touch sending sparks of pleasure coursing through me.

He didn't stop, his kisses growing more intense, more mind-blowing with each passing second. I felt myself teetering on the edge of something powerful, something I had never experienced before.

When he finally pulled away, our lips still touching, he whispered, "We shouldn't do that." I leaned in, wanting more, desperate to recapture the fire he had ignited within me. But this time, he stopped me with a gentle hand on my cheek.

"We shouldn't," he repeated, his words laced with a battle between desire and control.

" You ... don’t want this?" I asked, desperation creeping into my voice.

"Fucking hell," he muttered, before claiming my lips once more in a kiss that left me breathless and wanting more.

He kept kissing me, then his lips dipped lower, trailing a path of fire down my neck. Each touch ignited a new spark within me, a desperate need for more. But just as quickly, he pulled away, his hand clamping over my mouth the moment a moan escaped my lips.

He released me with a ragged breath, fingers brushing my lips – a touch that felt both accidental and deliberate. "Don't fucking let me do that again," he growled, his expression unreadable.

"Theo..." My voice trembled, a choked whisper lost in the deafening silence.

"Don't," he cut me off, his voice laced with a raw emotion that sent shivers down my spine.

I ignored him, the dam of my emotions threatening to burst. "No, Theo, I do like you so much! No, I think I love–"

He slammed his hand down on the nearest surface, the sharp crack echoing through the room. "Stop talking! Stop fucking talking and get out!"

My heart plummeted to my stomach. I stared at him, disbelief etching lines on my face. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't the answer I'd envisioned.

"I said, get out!" he roared, his voice raw with something akin to despair.

My body reacted before my mind could catch up. Fear, a primal and cold sensation, gripped me. I couldn't stay there, not with that look in his eyes. Tears blurring my vision, I turned and fled. I ran blindly out of the room, my feet pounding against the wooden floorboards. I didn't stop until I was out of the house, gasping for breath on the front porch steps. My legs felt like jelly, my vision obscured by a torrent of tears.

After four days of crying in my room, watching romcoms, and indulging in ice cream, I had practically shut myself off from the outside world. Ignoring calls and messages, I had no intention of leaving my room anytime soon.

But then, my phone started ringing, and the name that flashed on the screen caught my attention – Blaise Zabini. Why was he calling me? I debated whether to answer or not, but curiosity got the better of me.

"Hello?" I answered tentatively.

"Hello, beautiful lady. What are you doing tonight?" Blaise's smooth voice flowed through the phone, surprising me.

"Did you mistake my number for someone else?" I asked, slightly bewildered.

Blaise chuckled. "No, Y/N, I'm calling you. There's a party tonight, and you should come."

I couldn't believe it. Blaise inviting me to a party? It seemed surreal, especially considering how distant I had been lately. "Is this some kind of dare?" I half-jokingly asked, recalling how Lana and I had once begged to be included in their circle last year.

"No, of course not. Lana is away at camp, and I figured you must be bored. Plus, you're old enough now. So, are you coming?" Blaise explained.

I was shocked but managed to say, "Yes."

"Good, I'll pick you up," he said confidently.

"Um, what should I wear?" I asked, feeling a bit out of my depth.

"Something hot for sure," Blaise replied, causing my mouth to drop open. Surely, there must be more to it than just small talk and an unexpected invitation.

I dragged myself out of bed, feeling a bit more alive than I had in days. The prospect of going out, even to a party, was both daunting and oddly exciting. I made my way to the bathroom, deciding that a hot shower would do wonders for my mood.

The water cascaded down my skin, washing away some of the heaviness that had settled over me. I washed my hair, taking extra care to make it look presentable. After all, Blaise had mentioned something about looking hot, and I wanted to at least make an effort.

Once out of the shower, I wrapped myself in a fluffy towel and stood in front of the mirror, contemplating my options. My wardrobe seemed to mock me with its array of dresses, each one a reminder of happier times. But tonight was different. I wanted to feel good, even if just for a few hours.

My eyes settled on a vibrant off-shoulder red dress, short enough to be playful yet elegant. It had been a while since I'd worn something so bold, but tonight felt like the perfect occasion. Slipping into the dress, I couldn't help but admire how it hugged my curves in all the right places.

With my hair styled in loose waves cascading down my shoulders, I turned to my makeup. Opting for a subtle smokey eye and a bold red lip to match the dress, I added a touch of highlighter to give my skin a healthy glow.

Just as I finished applying the last stroke of mascara, my phone rang again. It was Blaise, letting me know that he was waiting outside. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed my purse and headed out.

A slow smirk spread across Blaise's face as he took in my entire outfit. "Damn, Y/N," he said, his voice dropping a cool octave. "You look goodness. Tonight, you're not just breaking hearts, you're shattering them."

"Thanks," I managed, trying to project an air of confidence I wasn't entirely sure I possessed.

The drive to the bar was a blur of conversation and upbeat music. Blaise gave me a heads-up that this was a different scene than the usual hangouts Lana and I frequented. No sticky floors or questionable punch here. This place oozed sophistication with a healthy dose of trendy vibes.

The closer we got, the bigger the butterflies became. "Just a heads-up," Blaise said casually, "Theo's gonna be there."

My eyes widened like headlights caught on high beams. "Why are you telling me this?" I blurted, my voice shaky.

Blaise held up his hands in mock surrender. "Whoa there, little firecracker. Easy now. Listen, I know what happened," he said, his tone gentle but firm.

He paused, his gaze meeting mine in the rearview mirror. "You've got two choices tonight," he continued, his voice low and serious. "Option one: Go in there, drown your sorrows in overpriced cocktails, and cry yourself to sleep like you have been for the past week. Option two: You walk in that door, head held high, and have the best damn night of your life. Show him what a colossal mistake he made. But more importantly, have fun. Forget Theo for the night. You deserve it."

My initial suspicion flared. How did Blaise know about Theo? Did Theo tell everyone, maybe even paint some twisted narrative of what happened? The worst-case scenario played in my head: everyone knowing I'd forced myself on him. I pushed those thoughts down, refusing to let them take root.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I asked, my voice laced with a hint of suspicion.

Blaise raised an eyebrow, feigning offense. "Oh, the nerve! Here I am, trying to be the ever-so-charming host, and you accuse me of… niceness?" He placed a hand dramatically over his chest. "Honestly, Y/N, I'm deeply wounded."

I couldn't help but laugh, the sound light and genuine. It felt good, a welcome change from the constant ache in my chest. As we pulled into the bar's crowded parking lot, I spotted a familiar face – the Gryffindor girl from school, the one with a permanent case of RBF.

Suddenly, the prospect of a night out filled with new faces and zero Theo drama seemed a whole lot more appealing.

"Alright," I announced, a determined glint in my eyes. "Going inside and having fun sounds way better."

Blaise's smirk widened. "Now you're talking," he said, finally pulling the car to a stop. "Let's do this."

We pushed through the heavy bar doors, the sudden wave of loud music and flashing lights hitting me like a physical blow. My eyes squinted against the assault, struggling to adjust to the dim, pulsing atmosphere. The air was thick with the scent of sweat, spilled alcohol, and something vaguely floral that I couldn't quite identify.

Then I saw it.

Bodies. Everywhere bodies. Couples intertwined on couches, limbs tangled in a way that left little to the imagination. People grinding against each other on the dance floor, clothes barely clinging to their sweaty forms. My mouth fell open in a silent scream.

"Are you kidding me, Blaise?" I shrieked, my voice barely audible over the pounding music. "Did you invite me to an orgy ?"

Blaise chuckled, his earlier cool persona replaced by something a little more… suggestive. "Not quite, sweetheart," he drawled. "But if you're interested, I know a guy…"

Blaise winked, then turned his attention to a group of women across the room. My stomach churned. Had he brought me here just to ditch me?

"Where are you going?" I demanded, grabbing his arm before he could slink away.

He looked back at me, a sly smile playing on his lips. "You wouldn't want to know, sweetheart. Trust me." Before I could argue, he was weaving his way through the crowd, leaving me stranded in a sea of strangers.

Panic clawed at my throat. I was completely out of my element, suffocated by the throbbing music and the overt displays of affection. Trying to navigate the throng of people felt like trying to walk through a mosh pit. Elbows jabbed, drinks sloshed, and muttered curses collided with the music. Every step forward felt like a battle.

Just when I was on the verge of tears, a familiar voice cut through the din.

"Y/N? Is that you?"

I snapped my head towards the source of the sound, relief washing over me like a tidal wave. There, standing a few feet away, was Cedric Diggory, a friendly face from Hogwarts. He looked as surprised to see me as I was to see him.

"Oh, thank God!" I exclaimed, practically throwing myself at him. He caught me with a smile, a steady presence in the swirling chaos.

"What are you doing here?" I blurted out, clinging to him like a lifeline. "I came with Blaise, but… well, he kinda ditched me."

Cedric's smile faltered slightly, but he recovered quickly. "Don't worry about him," he said reassuringly. "I can take you home if you want."

The offer was tempting, a safe haven from the overwhelming sensory overload. But then my gaze fell across the crowded room, landing on Theo. He was… well, making out with someone. Not just anyone, but two someones. His hands were everywhere, his lips moving feverishly between two very enthusiastic girls.

The sight of him sent a fresh wave of anger and hurt coursing through me. I wanted to scream, to cry, to set the whole place on fire. But instead, I did something completely unexpected.

"Actually," I said, my voice surprisingly steady, "Do you want to dance?"

A slow smile spread across my face as Cedric offered his hand. Relief momentarily eclipsed the anger simmering beneath the surface. He led me onto the dance floor, his touch light and hesitant on my waist. Compared to Theo's rough possessiveness, it felt… foreign.

"Theodora Nott," I muttered under my breath, the name a bitter curse on my tongue. Every fiber of my being ached to tear my gaze away from Theo.

Cedric's breath tickled my ear as he spoke, but my mind was elsewhere. Then, our eyes met. Theo's. His face contorted in a mixture of surprise and disbelief, like he'd seen a ghost.

Theo seemed momentarily speechless, his jaw clenched tight. Then, in a move that surprised even me, he shoved the two girls aside, their confused faces momentarily forgotten. He barged his way through the crowd, a determined scowl on his face.

"Diggory," he spat, his voice laced with venom.

"Nott," Cedric replied, a flicker of confusion crossing his features.

"Think I can take this from here?" Theo said, his gaze never leaving mine. "Thanks for keeping Y/N company."

Cedric glanced between us, a hesitant frown creasing his brow. Knowing I needed to act fast, I plastered a sickly sweet smile on my face.

"It's alright, Cedric," I chirped, my voice dripping with fake sincerity. "Theo's here now, and you know, practically like a brother to me."

Theo's jaw clenched tight, his anger barely contained. It fueled a fire within me, a perverse satisfaction at seeing him squirm. Cedric, oblivious to the undercurrent of tension, simply nodded and melted back into the crowd.

As soon as he was out of sight, I reached out and lightly touched Theo's arm. "Hello, brother," I purred, the word laced with mockery. "Enjoying yourself?"

He swatted my hand away, his voice tight with irritation. "What the hell do you think you're doing here?"

"Dancing, drinking, you know ," I replied, my voice light and carefree. "Hopefully getting some… you know, without having to share." I couldn't resist adding a pointed jab at his earlier display of affection.

A muscle ticked in his jaw. "That's not the right answer, Y/N."

"Oh, so now you're the authority on what's right and wrong?" I scoffed. "Just get lost and let me enjoy my night."

"Not happening," he growled, stepping closer. For a fleeting moment, I swear his eyes flickered to my lips, sending a tremor of something unexpected through me.

"Not happening," he countered, his eyes flickering towards my lips for a fleeting moment.

A shiver ran down my spine, but I refused to let it show. "So you get to have fun, but I can't? Because from where I'm standing, it looks like you were having a blast with your little… (here I paused, searching for the perfect comedic insult) …buffet." I forced a smile, pushing myself away from him in a playful, yet firm, manner.

He didn't get a chance to retort before a gasp escaped my lips. A clumsy dancer, fueled by who-knows-what concoction, careened into me, spilling the entirety of his drink down my dress. The scarlet fabric clung to my body like a second skin, leaving little to the imagination.

Theo let out a frustrated curse under his breath. "Damn it, Y/N, and your damn stubborn red dresses ," he muttered, before grabbing my arm and pulling me away from the crowd. His gaze darted around frantically, before settling on a nearby staircase.

The world spun a little faster as Theo pulled me through the crowd, his grip tight on my arm. We navigated through bodies and flashing lights, finally ending up near a darkened stairway leading upwards. He pushed open a door, revealing a large, beautifully furnished room – a stark contrast to the party raging outside.

"Stay here," he instructed, his voice low and urgent.

I rolled my eyes, annoyed at his bossiness but strangely comforted by his protectiveness.My mind was still reeling from the sudden alcohol shower, my thoughts fuzzy and disconnected.

Theo's presence alone was overwhelming. All the anger, hurt, and confusion I'd been feeling seemed to coalesce into a potent cocktail of emotions. My mind, however, wasn't processing things clearly. The red dress clinging to my body, the sting of Theo's earlier words, the memory of seeing him with those girls – it all swirled together in a chaotic mess.

Ignoring the instruction to stay put, I crossed the room and locked the door with a satisfying click. Grasping the hem of the ruined dress, I ripped it upwards in one swift motion. There, standing before a giant mirror, was me in all my red lace glory – bra and panties matching the ruined dress.

Theo stepped in, a black t-shirt clutched in his hand. His gaze locked with mine, a slow burn spreading across his face. He scanned me from head to toe, his eyes lingering on the shocking red lace bra and matching panties that were now my only attire.

For a moment, the room seemed to shrink, the music fading into a distant hum. The air crackled with a tension that sent a jolt of electricity through me.

"You're drunk, aren't you?" he finally managed, his voice rough with a mix of concern and something else – something deeper.

The question snapped me out of my haze. A defiant chuckle escaped my lips. "Not a single Shot," I replied, my voice surprisingly steady as I walked towards him.

The t-shirt fluttered to the floor, forgotten. His eyes were fixed on me, his face a mask of conflicting emotions. I stopped just inches from him, tilting my head up to meet his gaze.

"What are you doing?" he whispered, his face just inches from mine. The heat of his body radiated against mine, intensifying the buzz in my head.

"We don't have to be in love," I slurred, my heart pounding a frantic rhythm against my ribs. A part of me knew this was insane, But another part just craved his attention, his touch.

All I craved was his attention, his touch.

"I just wanna be… one of your girls tonight," I continued, my voice barely above a whisper. A shiver ran down my spine as the reality of my words hit me. Was I really saying this? But then I remembered Theo with those other girls, the way they would whisper about him at school, the way they boasted about their "experiences" with him.

Suddenly, a strange sense of defiance mixed with a simmering desire fueled my next words. "I want what you give them," I confessed, my eyes locked on his. "The kind of thing they brag about to their friends for years."

He reached out, a single finger brushing against my cheek. My breath hitched at the contact.

"Give me tough love don’t hold back," I whispered, my voice thick with emotion. "Push me, choke me. Show me what it's like to be… yours even if it’s just for a night ." My voice dropped even lower. "Anything," I whispered, "just don't pretend you don't want me."

My words hung heavy in the air, the audacity of them making my cheeks burn. But before I could even think about backtracking, Theo surged forward, scooping me up into his arms. A gasp escaped my lips as he pulled me close, the familiar scent of his cologne washing over me.

He lifted me, wrapping my legs around his waist as he pulled me close. My hands instinctively found purchase on his broad shoulders, the heat radiating through his shirt setting my skin alight.

"That's wrong," he rasped, his lips brushing dangerously close to mine.

"It's not," I insisted, the defiance laced with a desperate plea.

He didn't answer. Instead, he kissed me. It was a hard kiss, desperate and hungry, as if he was trying to erase everything that had come between us. My body melted against his, all thoughts fleeing my mind except for the fierce press of his lips against mine.

He carried me across the room, depositing me onto a large table. pulled away after what felt like an eternity, his eyes blazing with an intensity that sent a tremor through me. He pushed a stray strand of hair from my face, his eyes searching mine. "I'd hold onto something, if I were you." he murmured, his voice thick with possessiveness that both terrified and excited me.

My fingers brushed against his face, his warm breath ghosting over my lips as he leaned down.

His hand moved down my body, a slow, deliberate caress that sent shivers erupting across my skin. His fingers grazed my thighs, a light touch that somehow managed to ignite a fire within me. My breath hitched, a moan escaping my lips as desire battled with the remnants of reason.

His lips brushed against my ear, his voice a husky whisper against my sensitive skin. "Choose a word," he murmured, his breath sending shivers down my spine.

I nodded numbly, unsure if I would even be able to speak if I needed to.

"Red," I managed to whisper, my voice laced with desire as his lips trailed along my neck, eliciting a soft moan from deep within me.

"Fucking red again," he muttered, his lips pressing against my skin with a hunger that ignited a fire within me. I arched my neck, offering him more access, more of me.

"You use this if it gets too much, understood?" he said, his voice commanding. I nodded eagerly.

He continued to kiss my jaw and neck with an intensity that left me breathless. My hand tangled in his hair, urging him closer. When he bit down on a sensitive spot on my neck, I couldn't contain a scream of pleasure.

His hand cupped my core through my panties, and I instinctively gripped his shoulder, my body responding to his touch. I had never experienced anything like this before, but I couldn't admit that to him.

"Have you done anything like this before?" he asked, his breath hot against my earlobe. I moaned softly as I lied, nodding in response.

"Yes," I whispered, my voice barely audible over the rush of sensations.

He parted my legs forcefully and held my jaw in his hand, locking eyes with mine. "You did?" he questioned, a hint of possessiveness in his tone.

I nodded again, unable to speak as desire coursed through me.

"He's dead, whoever he is," he declared, sending a shiver down my spine. His fingers slipped inside my panties, and I gasped at the sudden intimacy, my body responding eagerly to his touch.

"Theo," I managed to gasp out, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Yes, baby?" he responds, his voice deep and husky. The way he says "baby" sends shivers down my spine. It feels too good, too right, felt like a sweet caress to my soul.

"You can do whatever you want to me," i whispered, my fingers tracing his jawline. "Anything."

He responds by parting my lips with his finger leaning down to take my lower lips into his kiss. It's so soft, so gentle, that I feel like I've been transported to heaven. His tongue enters my mouth at the same time he touches my clit, and I moan.

He rubs my clit in gentle circles, and I hold onto his shoulder, digging my nails into his skin. He pulls away from the kiss, my lips are still on his, and I moan into his mouth. His tongue continues to explore mine as his fingers work their magic.

"Oh Merlin," I cry out, and he smiles against my cheek.

"Not Merlin, baby, but me," he whispered against my cheek, his touch sending me spiraling further into ecstasy. He added a finger inside me, and I cried out, my back arching with pleasure.

"Fuck, you're so tight. You sure you've done this before?" he questioned, a hint of disbelief in his voice. I've done this before, in my dreams, with him. I bite my lip to keep from moaning too loudly, and he looks displeased with that.

"Keep making those sounds, I love the sound of your voice," he says, and I do it again. He stops kissing me” you did that again and i stop, understood? “ I nodded immediately.

He’s not done yet. He pushed my bra strap down, placing kisses along the exposed skin.

His fingers start to move faster, as he kissed me, swallowing all my moans. He adds another finger, and I scream, my back arching again.

I bite my lips without even noticing and he slowed his movements I hold onto his hand fast, afraid he'll stop.

"Please don't stop, I'll be good, I promise," I beg, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Fuck, say it again," his gaze intense with desire.

"I'll be good, Theo," I repeated, my voice a desperate plea.

He moves his fingers faster in response, hitting a spot inside me that makes me see stars. He keeps hitting it, over and over again, while circling my clit.

"I'm going to--" I try to say, but I can't finish my sentence. Pleasure consumes me, and I scream his name. He plays with my hair, pushing my tears and hair away from my face.

"I know, sweet girl," he murmured, his words pushing me over the edge into a mind-blowing orgasm."So sweet, so good."

He watched me with intense desire as I came, his fingers never ceasing their movements. "And so fucking hot," he added as he looked at me while experiencing his own release.

“you look so pretty when you’re cumming for me,” he murmured, placing soft kisses on my neck

I breathed heavily as he pulled his hands from me, bringing his fingers to his mouth and savoring my cum. "You taste so sweet, baby," he murmured, his gaze locked on mine.

He cupped my face, placing soft kisses on my lips, again and again. "So sweet, so angelic,"

With a gentle touch, he lifted me from the table, carrying me softly and placing me on the bed. His face was close to mine, his nose brushing against mine, and he kissed me deeply. I moaned as he opened my bra clips, leaning down to place a soft kiss on my jawline, then my collarbone.

He traced his way down, kissing every inch of my body until he reached my breasts. I closed my eyes as he put a soft kiss on them, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Eyes on me, baby. Don't shut them," he commanded, and I nodded, my breath heavy. I looked at him, my love for him overwhelming.

With each lick and kiss, I moaned louder, the pleasure building with every touch, and I arched my back, my fingers gripping the sheets.

With a final lick, he traced his way down, kissing every inch of my body. He kissed my stomach and looked up at me, his gaze intense.

He parted my legs, the sight of him between them is my idea of heaven. I nodded, and he pulled my panties down.

As he pulled my panties down, I felt a rush of shyness,"You will keep them open," he said, and I nodded again , my breath hitching.

"Good girl," he praised, his lips trailing kisses along my thighs. I couldn't resist running my fingers through his soft hair, pushing it from his face.

"You want rough love, you say?" he stated, using my own words against me.

"Yes," I moaned, my mouth gasping as I felt his mouth on my wet pussy.

"And you keep listening to what those girls say?" he asked.

"Yes, and it hurts," I managed to say.

"So I have to make up for it then, baby, don't you think?" he asked,

He didn't waste time. His tongue explored my folds, and it felt strange but in a good way. He licked and sucked, and I felt like I might explode.

He kept doing it, for what felt like an eternity. He kept my legs open, and my back ached. I cried heavily, it was the best thing I had ever felt. I could feel my body already over the edge.

"Don't cum," he said, and I shook my head. He continued eating me out, so much. I could feel his fingers inside me, and I screamed again.

"Please," I begged, unable to resist the overwhelming pleasure he was giving me.

"You cum, and it's over," he warned, his finger entering me gently.

I held onto his shoulder tightly, my body teetering on the edge. "Say the word, and I'll stop," he offered.

But I couldn't bring myself to say it. "No," I managed to whisper, my voice filled with need and desire.

His tongue flicked my clit, and I felt my orgasm building. I screamed his name, and he kept going, pushing me further and further over the edge. I screamed again, and again, and again. I couldn't take it anymore, and I came hard, my body shaking with the force of it.

He looked up at me, his lips glistening with my juices.

I was still trying to catch my breath from what just happened as Theo's words registered in my mind. "You are a virgin," he said, and I shook my head fast, trying to dispel the shock.

"No, no, I'm not. The boys I've been with before weren't experienced," I managed to say, feeling a rush of embarrassment at my slip of words. Why did I say "boys"?

Theo's gaze held fire as he processed my words. "Boys?" he repeated, his voice tinged with something I couldn't quite decipher.

I immediately felt the need to defend myself. "You don't think I'm attractive enough to be with more than one boy in my life?" I asked, a hint of defiance in my tone.

"Quite the opposite," he assured me, but his expression remained serious. "I want to know who dared and did that," he added, his eyes searching mine.

I bit my lip nervously, realizing the implications of what I had unintentionally revealed. Boys were afraid to pursue Lana because of Theo's reputation, but the way he reacted made me wonder if he wasn't threatening the boys for just getting close to lana .

"You can't just control who I can be with, Theo," I said, surprised at my own boldness.

"I think I can," he asserted firmly.

I took a breath, trying to calm the tension that crackled between us. "I won't mind," I said softly, my voice pleading. "I would do anything to please you. I would do anything you ask me to."

"Stop talking like that, y/n," he ordered, his tone strained.

"Okay," I acquiesced, sensing that I had crossed a line.

"Fuck," he cursed under his breath, clearly struggling with his own emotions.

I reached out and touched his hand that was on my face, trying to ease the tension. I smiled while kissing his hand, then surprised both of us by putting one of his fingers inside my mouth and sucking on it gently.

"You are going to be the death of me," he muttered, but there was a hint of amusement in his voice.

"I need you, Theo, all of you, even just for the night, please," I pleaded, desperate for him to understand.

"Don't cry, unless it's from the pleasure I give you," he said, brushing away my tears gently.

I propped myself up on my elbow to get closer to him, craving his touch and his reassurance. He kissed me again, and in that moment, I felt like I could live in this bliss forever.

He reached for a condom, and I tried not to show my nerves as he prepared himself. His size was daunting, and I couldn't help but wonder how it would fit inside me. My head hit the pillow again as he spread my legs, his hardness teasing my entrance.

He entered me slowly, and I cried out as the pain shot through me, tears streaming down my face. "You are a fucking virgin," he exclaimed, his own frustration evident.

"It's not a fucking game, y/n," he continued, his tone softer but still edged with tension.

"I'm sorry, please do something," I pleaded, feeling overwhelmed.

He wiped my tears away, his features softening. "Fuck, baby, don't cry. It will get better, I promise. Just relax," he reassured me, his voice soothing.

"Breathe, it's just me," he added, placing kisses on my forehead and then my cheek.

"I think... I think you can move now, please," I managed to say, trying to regain my composure.

He held my face in his hand while the other supported him as he moved slowly, allowing me to adjust to him. I closed my eyes, focusing on the pleasure and the connection between us.

"You want fast, I can take it," I said, unsure if I was ready but wanting to prove myself to him.

"It's not a competition, y/n. You don't have to prove anything, baby,"

"The girls you've been with, they must have..." I started to say, but he cut me off.

"They didn't matter. You do," he said, surprising both of us with his confession.

He settled into a rhythm that felt perfect, and I closed my eyes, reveling in the sensations. His thrusts ranged from slow and tender to fast and intense, driving me wild with pleasure.

"Talk to me," he urged, and I struggled to form coherent sentences amidst the pleasure.

"It feels... good," I managed to say, my words coming out in fragmented breaths.

"Yeah?" he questioned, and I nodded, unable to articulate just how amazing it felt.

He increased his pace, and I arched my back, meeting his movements eagerly. "What about this?" he asked, his touch sending waves of pleasure through me.

"Do it again," I begged, wanting more of him, more of this intense pleasure.

He obliged, and the pleasure intensified, pushing me closer to the edge of ecstasy. I moaned and cried out his name, lost in the sensations that only he could evoke.

He thrust a few more times, then finally reached his own peak, his body collapsing slightly against mine as we both caught our breaths.

After a moment, he pulled out and disposed of the condom, then lay beside me.

Silence stretched between us, thick and suffocating. I was afraid to talk afraid to ruin what we just had, My hand hovered in the air, reaching for his face, but Theo stopped me, his grip surprisingly tight on my wrist.

My heart hammered against my ribs, a frantic drum solo against the backdrop of my racing thoughts. Please, no. Not the cold shoulder again.

" The- Theo," I whispered, my voice trembling, but he pushed my hand away before I could say more. His sudden change left me feeling lost and vulnerable, like I had done something terribly wrong.

"You… sore?" he finally spoke, his voice strained.

I blinked, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. The Theo who had been making love to me just minutes ago seemed to have vanished. This was the cold, distant Theo I knew all too well.

"A little," I managed to whisper, my voice cracking.

"Then get dressed," he said curtly. "I'm taking you home. Your big night is over." his words cutting through me like knives. I tried to speak, to explain, but he silenced me with a stern command. "Not a word, y/n. Not a fucking word."

He got out of bed and started putting on his clothes, tossing a t-shirt and his jacket in my direction. As he grabbed my phone and things, I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. It was as if everything we had shared meant nothing to him.

As shaky legs carried me to my feet, I pulled on the clothes, tears blurring my vision. A choked sob escaped my lips, and another, and another.

"Congratulations, Y/N," I whispered to myself, my voice raw with emotion. "You're officially one of his girls."

"Congratulations, y/n. You’re officially one of the girls," he remarked, his words cutting deep into my already wounded heart.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

Part2

[gay-dorito-dust]

I wanna write fluff for this traumatised fandom but all that comes to my head is pain.

In another life you wouldn’t have to be forced to say goodbye to Viktor, only good nights before you both drifted off to sleep side by side, or good mornings as you greet each other with a kiss to the cheek while making breakfast.

In another life you were happy, Viktor was happy, everyone you knew and love was happy that both Piltover and Zaun were thriving. There was nothing but peace and prosperity for as far as you could see. No war, no fighting, nothing for you were all living how many could only wish would be a reality one day.

In another life you got to hold Viktor however long you wanted, his skin was still that of warm flesh and bone beneath your touch and the kisses you planted along his shoulders.

In another life Viktor was well rested, well fed and even smiled and joked more then he ever had before. His amber eyes were alive and observing everything as he talked you through how some of the inventions worked in vivid detail, all with a excited smile upon his face as his hands before more animated with his every word. You loved whenever he got like that.

In another life you got what you wanted and what you wanted was him, was Viktor as you cuddled into him while he read, his hand moving to rub your back as though it was muscle memory at this point and kissing your temple now and then before continuing his reading. He’d playfully claim that you were a distraction but of the best kind and your heart never felt fuller.

In another life you didn’t have to worry about Viktor leaving you, you didn’t have to fear a possibility of him becoming lost in his ideals for a glorious evolution and forgoing his humanity, shed his human skin for a form of cold, biting pliable metal. Lost to the hexcore of which did not exist within this other life.

However you didn’t live in this other life, did you?

You lived in a life where tensions between Zaun and Piltover was at an all time high.

You lived in a life where hextech was high in demand to be used against those who threaten people’s ways of life.

You lived in a life where you saw more death and destruction then you ever did anything else, almost as if a tranquil life was prohibited and everyone was born to suffer, Zaunites more so then those residing in Piltover, unable to mourn nor bury the dead as survival of the fittest was a way of life rather than just a motto.

You lived in a life where you had to say goodbye to Viktor, multiple times, each one being more painful and heartbreaking than the last.

You lived in a life where proclamations of love did nothing to stop him from leaving the academy as he looked at you with the eyes of a stranger.

You lived in a life where the possibility of a happy ending was few and far between. Not many were blessed to have it no matter how much good they’ve done in their lives, fate was often cruel to those least deserving of such treatment.

You lived in a life where you wished you could’ve done more for viktor as the arcane consumed him, leaving you alone with nothing but his cane.

You lived in a life where you wished the pain would end, you couldn’t take it and didn’t want to say goodbye to anyone anymore. It hurt far too much as you left with the memories Viktor left behind with you, as though that was going to heal your broken heart but did anything but made the pain worse.

You lived in a life where your dream life with Viktor was nothing more than a fantasy, a dream you’ll never reach.

You lived in a life where nothing was fair, everything was taken from you and nothing was given back in exchange for your suffering. You lost Viktor, you’d never get to live the life you wanted with him.

You lived in a life where you were never meant to.

Viktor knew this too, for he had those same dreams of a perfect reality himself, but then he remembered he was a man of science and ignored it no matter how much he wanted it to come true. He knew it wasn’t plausible.

Viktor knew he could dream, but he wished he didn’t.

[mischiefmaker615]

Helpless

Summary: "If I'm helpless, then tell me now.."

Song Request: John Mayer - "Helpless"

Requester: @bri_lostinharmony (wattpad) 

Rating: PG14

Loki’s body seemed to have a mind of its own now- simply coming to life whenever its intentions were focused on you without him fully realizing it.

Now a days, he felt just like his old self.. his old old self, back in the days of the palace where he had his gentlemanly persona, maidens and festivities- but you were by far the only maiden he’s had his heart for.

He would stand whenever you would enter a room, feeling his muscles tense before he had to stop himself from bowing whenever you would leave. His fingertips twitched with the ache to take your hand, to bring it to his lips and kiss your soft knuckles whenever he would merely near to begin conversing. Half the time one would think he wasn’t paying attention to a word you were saying while he was merely getting himself lost in your eyes and voice, childishly resting his chin on his palm.

Visuals reminded you of him. flowers, animals and even particular characters in the films Thor would be having on blast in the living room as if the tower was his personal home.

You were driving him crazy, and didn’t even know it.

Sleepless nights.. he’d merely blame it on sleep issues when it reality, he’d be merely keeping himself up thinking about you. A hand ran through his hair while a frustrated sigh left his nostrils, having the need to bang his forehead into the nearest wall if it meant promise to get past a simple paragraph of his book without getting himself distracted by the thought of you.

There was no point anyway.. half the time, he’d merely read in the main room in hopes to catch of a glimpse of you passing by or the rare occasion you might talk to him.

It was on friendly terms, Loki being to worried he might pry to much into specifics and scare you off. Yet the conversations were never bland and you both often laughed and taught each other much from where you both were from. Again, you’d be doing more of the talking while Loki seemed to be distantly distracted and zoned out, gazing at you while he memorized the way your cheeks turned red when you would notice his stares.

He just wasn’t sure if your feelings were mutual.. you most certainly did act different around him compared to the others in the compact. You laughed, smiled more and everything about your body posture showed that you were relaxed. Yet.. it still wasn’t enough to clarify where you stood.

Perhaps Loki didn’t want to find out.. he couldn’t handle rejection.. not from you.. but the sleepless nights and distracted thoughts made functioning practically impossible. He grew quiet, distant, and you noticed how he would tend to leave whenever you would show up.

For a while, you tried to think if it was something you did, something you said, but nothing seemed to come up to explain his cold behavior. Your feelings began to feel hurt, wondering if perhaps he just lost interest when you both shared such a fond friendship before. He tended to gravitate closely to you within his ‘house arrest’ amongst the tower, and you gladly offered his company. So.. what did you do wrong?

There came a night where you just couldn’t sleep. Restless, tossing and turning with your mind all over the place with no promise of rest anytime soon. It was a short battle, and figured perhaps trying that method of warm milk people told you about to help sleep would come in handy.

It was the middle of the night, no one should be up so you figured you’d go as you were: pajamas that took resemblance of a tank top and booty shorts.

You shivered as you padded to the kitchen, having been here long enough to work in the dark with very little light except for the one above the stove. The warm bed will be waiting but the room took on a temperature colder than usual. It wasn’t until you closed the fridge- you found the culprit that nearly had you jumping out of your skin.

‘’Loki- you scared me..’’ you yelped, having to quickly lower your voice while he raised his hands in a surrender position.

‘’my apologies love, it was not my intent. I merely heard sound and wished to investigate.. I was unaware it was you..’’ he whispered, taking a step back while you caught your breath, as well as the view.

He was in comfortable shorts, but the dim light was enough to scream at you that he was shirtless. You couldn’t help but look before the cold temperature in your hand reminded you that you had the milk and quickly moved to the counter.

‘’investigating? Nice to know you’d come to our rescue.’’ You lightly tease and pull out a glass from the cupboard.

‘’your rescue.’’ He corrected, his eyes having left to the side of the room a moment before he quickly clarified. ‘’I care less for the ones that have forced me here. You have merely offered your friendship away from the group.’’

‘’you don’t think I would have tried to stop you if I was part of the Avengers back then?” you teased, a topic the both of you were okay discussing. All offense would have gone out the window anyway when you noticed his eyes on your choice of outfit. ‘’I.. wasn’t expecting anyone else to be up..’’ you said quickly and moved yourself to the other side of the island counter with him right across. The least you could do was shield your ass.

‘’I couldn’t sleep.. I’m sure that is why you are up also?” he asked, his hands being rubbed at his sides while he felt his fingertips again. Everything about you pulled up those feelings he’s been trying to ignore, and your exposed flesh was not helping.

‘’yeah.. to many thoughts, figured I’d try a rumored remedy.’’ You shrug a little and place the cup into the microwave.

‘’what were you thinking about?” he asked, perhaps a little to quickly while your hand stilled form pressing the button.

You bit your bottom lip, kind of bringing yourself into this while you felt him stare at your back. Your cheeks reddened but you dare not move, let alone lie considering you were incapable of it.. he’d see right through anyway. ‘’..our friendship..’’

Loki held his breath, his palms being pressed to the top of the counter while he leaned forward, as if trying to see if he heard right while he forced his voice not to shake. ‘’..is there a problem?” he asked, almost lower than a whisper while you continued to have your back to him.

He knew damn well he was the problem. He’s been avoiding you, ignoring you in hopes to rid of the feelings rather than clarify them encase it risked rejection. It was childish, perhaps cruel, but he didn’t think he could bare it.. but distance hadn’t helped either, if anything- it made his feelings worse. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, as one would put it. But now perhaps he had a chance to see how you truly felt, to see what you would say, to perhaps.. maybe.. just maybe..

‘’yes Loki.. I’m not sure what I did wrong..’’ you voice indicated hurt, feeling your vision going blurry while your nails dug into your palms.

Norns..

‘’I favor your friendship.. the only one I care keeping around here if life would have me cornered.. but I’m not sure what I have done wrong, you’ve grown cold.. distant, silent.. this right now is practically the longest conversation we’ve had in weeks.. and by your disappearance, it just shows how much I really miss you.. how much I cherish you around.. how much I.. how much I feel for you.. so if I’m helpless then tell me now’’ you whisper, your eyes blankly gazing at the microwave while you felt your hands begin to shake. You just confessed.. confessed to Loki and now you realize the risk you had taken. The fear of turning around, to face rejection, to hear him shoo you. How could he like you? How could he love you? The god tried taking over the world.. your world. You, a mortal, couldn’t possibly be seen in his sights if you are so far below him in his royal chain of stature. How could he..

The silence was almost maddening, drawn out by nothing and your body began to tense. Slow, you looked over your shoulder, finding him not there. Oh gods.. he left.. your breath hitched, turning yourself around to find yourself alone. ‘no..’ you felt your vision going blurry once more while you sniffed and turned yourself back to the microwave, only to practically jump when you felt two soft lips crash onto your own with determined hands stabilizing you by your waist.

The act surprised you both but Loki was quick to recover while his hands ran up to cup your cheeks, his desperate pressure moving to a softer one when you showed no signs of pulling away. He was gentle, his thumbs brushing your tears while you blinked to try to collect yourself. He was kissing you! The one thing you’ve longed for since you’ve both began to water your relationship!

Your hands shakily came up to his rest against his wrists, at first making his movement pause a moment as if you were to rip yourself from him before you suddenly pressed your lips against his more. Your eyes fluttered closed while you stood more on your tip toes, feeling his knees brush against your legs to indicate he was bending down to help accommodate as well.

A soft hum left his lips, a hand leaving your cheek to slowly move down to your waist and pull you closer, though leaning at the same time where your back was leaning against the counter. your heart fluttered, as did his and he forced himself to slowly pull away to look you in the eyes, the side of his pointing finger tipping your chin so you could look up into his soft eyes you could have sworn had been tearing.

‘’I never wanted to hurt you Y/N.. I only wanted to love you but was to afraid to know the possible truth that you might not feel the same.. I tried to rid of these feelings but discovered I went about this whole thing all wrong.. I’m sorry..’’ he confessed, his eyes pleading into yours while your hands rested on his shoulders, wide eyed but of understanding.

‘’it’s okay Loki.. we’re just going to have to make up for lost time..’’ you gentle teased, your teeth lightly capturing your bottom lip while your hands relished in the feeling of his smooth skin. You suddenly became aware of just how close you two were, how shirtless he was and how bare you practically where while he seemed to smirk and realize the same.

‘’well darling, if you wish to put away the milk.. I might have a remedy that just might do the trick with your sleeping problem.’’

‘’you have a sleeping problem too-‘’ you pointed out, avoiding eye contact before his hand moved your chin to face him again, his expression seductive yet playful.

‘’which is why I’m going to need your help as well..’’

DM a song for your own Loki Musical Mischief one shot :D

Tag List: @foxherder13 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @fire-in-her-veinz @nervouseden @kathren1sky-blog @eleniblue @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @queenofstarsign85 @slytherinqueen4life @soulpiercing

[flower-blossoms654]

Each time I think about how they took out the Goldy Pond arc, I get so angry. Cause like not only was it a good ass arc, getting rid of it takes out something integral to the story as a whole, that I just don’t think they realized/cared about:

The validation of Emma’s beliefs.

Emma is established to be this happy-go-lucky character right? And as the children are still in Grace Field, you see that she still keeps this demeanor while juggling the new graveness of the situation she is in. While losing some of her naivety, she still shows herself capable of being someone hopeful for the future who will not let her circumstances get the better of her. The most important part of what makes this WORK for her character (instead of making it annoying and unrealistic) is the fact that she both acknowledged and experiences the tragedy of the world she is trying to be hopeful in. It’s not some little girl being like “I believe everything’s gonna be fine! Sparkles and rainbows!” while being shielded from the darker parts of the world. It’s a little girl who looks in the face of the darkness and that terrible world and is in the MIDST of it. It’s a little girl who found the dead body of her younger sibling and was faced with the reality that her whole life was a lie. It’s a little girl who realized her whole family was going to die and fought to grab onto her hope despite how overwhelmingly bleak their situation was. She knew and yet she didn’t hesitate to believe that they could escape. She knew and still wanted to yell to the world that she was going to save EVERYONE. Seeing someone so unwaveringly hopeful even after being hit with devastating loss and despair is like a beacon for anyone else struggling to keep surviving. Emma is lovable for how she loves—how her hope and determination stands fast in the face of adversity and still goes forward even as more events threaten to shake and bend it.

For whatever reason season 2 was changed the way it was (I’ve heard many things)(if it was because of the guns then WHY pick up the anime in the first place bc you derail EVERYTHING) it could never stand completely without Goldy Pond.

Goldy Pond is in plain terms Emma’s defining arc. It seems to be pushing forward a question whose answer will define the rest of the series.

“Who is Emma?”

Not as she is with her siblings. Not as she is when there is her family there to keep her going. Who is Emma, and how will she grow from here on out?

Goldy Pond is the first time Emma is “alone”. She has none of her siblings around her and she is in an unfamiliar environment, with people she does not know. People by all means unconnected to her when she has a family to get back to and protect.

But Emma doesn’t treat them that way. She cares for each stranger she meets, jeopardizing her safety by using herself as bait—by charging forward into battle to protect them and change the demons’ focus. As the arc progresses and she meshes herself into the other children’s ranks, treating them as family as well, it seems to be clear what the answer is. As she serves as a distraction in this main fight. As she reminds them of details of HOW they can win this fight even when there seems to be no hope left. When she gets empaled and STILL takes a shot to kill Duke Leuvis.

Emma is hopeful and kind and self-sacrificing. She treats strangers as she would treat her family, and cares for all lives the same. She is so overwhelmingly forthright and sincere in her emotions and love, that you can’t help but want to support and follow her. That is who Emma is. She is not naive. She has seen death and battle and bleak circumstances but still rises to the challenge EVERY time — and most importantly this time was the bleakest so far. This time she was “ALONE”.

She has the experience behind her to make her care for all things “valid”. This is not a silly, childish little girl not knowing all the different aspects of her declarations. She says they will survive and you can take her for her word because she knows what it’s like to be near death. But specifically and more crucially for Goldy Pond (and therefore the rest of the series): Emma says that she wants to save demons. And with Goldy Pond, you can take her word for it.

When Norman declares that his way of saving everyone is to have a demon genocide, the most important part of this is that we as the readers support Emma and her viewpoint (that the demons should not be killed.) Her viewpoint is valid in the manga because of what she has gone through. Emma says she wants to save demons and we can take her for her word because she has experience at the hands of some of the worst cruelty from demons possible. She and other children were hunted for sport. She was placed in a mockery of a sanctuary and hunted down for demons entertainment—not for the demon’s hunger or survival but for FUN. And she still turns around and says that she believes there are GOOD demons.

Without this, Emma has nothing in her experience for her to stand toe to toe with Norman’s beliefs. She looks like a naive, silly child trying to justify a foolish dream when she has experienced nothing of the world. It’s practically an insult to Norman and his experiences and it doesn’t give off what it should to the watcher. How are we supposed to believe in Emma (and go against a GENOCIDE) when it seems as if the writers want to paint that the genocide is the reasonable answer (when it fucking ISNT). And this is all because without Goldy Pond, Emma doesn’t have the experience to be meaningfully hopeful. She can’t properly value her positive experience with Mujika because she doesn’t not have a big enough negative experience to weight it against (and gracefield isn’t good enough bc Norman has gone through more than that). For Emma to have weight, she needs to be able to weight the good and the bad and STILL choose good. To still choose to be hopeful and caring.

Getting rid of Goldy Pond got rid of such an important foundation of Emma as a character and I can never forgive them for that.

[chaiifluuf]

Go kitty go! — d. osamu

synopsis. coming across a lonely kitten by the streets doesn’t happen everyday and it would be a crime not to take it home with you

content. gn!reader, ada!reader, fluff with extra fluff, reader likes cats(i love them okay.), established relationship, lowercase

notes. got this silly idea one day out of nowhere hehe, also thank you for all the love on my last fic! i really appreciate it <3 hope you enjoy !

meow!

suddenly you heard a high pitched cry and could identify it immediately. it was a cat. you stop in your tracks and turn your head around to the source of the noise. in a rather dark alleyway by the dumpster you notice a small kitty with a black coat and white paws. your heart melted in a second. why was there a kitten alone here, especially in this part of the city?  

“hey…” you speak out with a gentle tone, slowly crouching down so you could be more on the same level as the young feline. and to your satisfaction, it carefully started to make its way to you, seeming interested in you. with a smile you reach your hand out and invite the kitty to smell your hand, hoping that by doing so it will know that you won’t harm it. 

the black cat curiously sniffs the tips of your fingers before nuzzling your hand and letting out a small meow again. god you forgot how cute the sound of a kitten can be. you lightly stroke its back and you can’t believe how soft the fur is. you start to wonder how it ended up here. did it run away from home? was it a stray from the beginning? but then the coat wouldn’t be so clean and fluffy. or maybe someone kicked the kitten out or abandoned it? you really hope that’s not the case because who would do that to such an innocent creature.

the cat enjoys your affection quite a lot as it keeps rubbing itself against your legs. you stand up again as you remember you should really get home now. you’ve been dealing with a case for almost the whole day, leaving your poor boyfriend all alone for so long as dazai would describe it while you were about to leave in the morning. it was already hard enough to get out of bed since he would just not let go of you and pull you right back into the sheets with him, softly whining into your ear.

though now you were done with work, planning to return home. the kitty let out another cry and you knew you couldn’t just leave it here. who knows what might happen if you were to leave it alone here. 

and so you made up your mind to take it with you for the meantime and then later decide what to do next. you pick the animal up and continue walking, never before anticipating to encounter something like this but you were definitely not complaining.

•••

dazai is quietly laid down on the couch as he reads the book he always reads. it started out okay but overtime he has gotten bored of even reading that as time seems to go slower than usual. truth to be told, dazai just wanted you to come back, no matter how hard he tried to distract himself. it was awfully quiet in the house, and ultimately there was just nothing particular to do.

he sighed, his eyes drifting to the ceiling. dazai would have gladly come along with you but you insisted you wouldn’t take long and told him to go back to sleep as it was a little early in the morning when you had to leave. funny how you think he’d be able to normally sleep without you there. the amount of times dazai has thought about wanting to stay in bed with you for as long as even a day, cuddling and resting together, just you and him. even if you two wouldn’t be doing anything productive, he would still enjoy it to the fullest.

the sound of keys jingling and a door opening brought him back to reality. his face immediately lit up as he sat up straight, looking towards the front door, already excited to see your face. 

“my love! you’re finally back, how— …oh?”

as soon as you were in his view, he noticed something small in your hands. it took him less than a second to realise what that was.

“well as you can see.. i came home with some company today. look how adorable it is!” you tell him with a big smile while keeping the creature in your arms and rubbing its head with your thumb. the cat looks around curiously, examining the room.

dazai, for the first time in a while, was dumbfounded. he knew about your liking to cats but he never expected you to simply come back with one. 

“…you found a kitten?” he says unsurely as he stares at the kitty with slight confusion, trying to make sense of the situation.

“yeah, on the streets. i couldn’t possibly just leave it there when it came to me,” you speak with a soft tone and slowly put the kitten down so it could move freely. dazai watched the cat as it let out another meow. he blinked and turned back to you.

“surely you’re not planning to keep it right? someone might be looking for it,” he points out although he thinks his heart skipped a beat when he saw the pure look of adoration in your eyes. the overall image of happiness on you made his chest feel warmer.

you nod. “i know. however for the time being we can take some care of it, can’t we?” you say with a hopeful look, moving to sit down next to him and also helping the kitty to join you two as it followed you around.

“look I know you aren’t fond of dogs but i've never heard you say anything bad about cats,” you mention, slightly leaning on him as you wonder about his opinion on cats. 

he lets out a low hum, wrapping one of his arms around you and giving you a small kiss on your temple before responding calmly. “i don’t have anything against cats as long as they don’t attack me out of nowhere.”

you seemed pleased with his answer. “exactly! i’m sure that this cutie here is no problem at all,” a slight chuckle leaves your lips as you feel the black kitty between you and him lightly lick your finger, not used to the sensation of its rough tongue.

dazai’s grin grows a little. “are you talking about yourself?~” he teased, using that flirtatious tone of his. and of course he didn’t miss that pink tint that raised to your cheeks right after saying that. 

“‘samu! you know what I was talking about,” you tell him, and you can feel your cheeks burn a little. you should’ve honestly seen that one coming but oh well. he has always been too good at making comments like this to get you all flustered.

before he could respond, the kitten started meowing again, only slightly louder this time. both you and dazai are caught off guard by that. you blink in surprise. “what’s wrong?” your tone is softer, trying to figure out what’s going on as you stroke its back. 

“maybe it’s hungry?” dazai guesses since if the kitty has been a stray for some time then it must be hungry.

“oh you’re right,” you now realise that as well. what should you feed it though? you get up to go over and check the fridge, scanning over all the food items there are. you hum in thought. “pretty sure that cow milk wasn’t good for them… but we have some ham,” you speak while taking a package of it out.

dazai returns his gaze back to the black kitten. it really did have rather big and innocent eyes, he noticed. and before he had the chance to react, it made its way into his lap, seeming curious about him now. dazai’s body slightly tensed as he wasn’t sure what to do or what it wanted from him. the cat merely lets out a small cry as it stares at him.

after a moment of thinking, he slowly moves his hand near the kitty’s head and to his surprise, the kitten rubs itself against his palm right away. his gaze softened. Its fur really was as soft as it looked and after about a minute of petting it, he heard a different noise. It was undoubtedly purring. did this little one like him that much?

“aww socks likes you, ‘samu! this is the first time i'm hearing it purr,” you speak up with joy from behind as you prepare some small pieces of ham on a plate. dazai can’t help but chuckle at the mention of the name.

“socks? that's supposed to be its name now?” he says as he turns his head to you, a casual smile on his face. 

“i mean i think it is a fitting nickname, considering its black coat and white paws which seem like socks,” you explain while putting the rest of the ham back into the fridge and returning to the couch. You place the plate of some ham on the ground and glance at socks. “Look here, i got you something,” you tell the kitty as you point to the ham.

the kitten immediately perks up and jumps off dazai’s lap. it sniffs the pork and a second later starts eating it. your face beamed as you looked at socks, it is quite obvious that the poor animal was starving considering how hastily it’s eating.

dazai however had his eyes on you the entire time. he swears your beauty multiplies when you look so content like this. the way your eyes are sparkling, a soft smile gracing your lips, your whole figure seems to shine. and once again he's reminded that he is dating an angel. he really can’t fight the way the corners of his lips turned upwards. he wished things stayed this way forever. because if you are happy then he is happy.

it doesn’t take long for the kitten to finish its food, licking its lips in satisfaction. you reach out your hand to pet it, murmuring a small praise as well. 

“y’know we have to go to the animal shelter sooner or later,” dazai brings up with a quiet tone and intertwines one of his hands with yours. a moment of silence passes before you subtly nod, your hand squeezing his slightly. “yeah i know… i imagine someone could be worried sick, with no idea where their pet is,” you say calmly, a quiet sigh leaving your lips.

yes, that was the right thing to do after all. it’s the least that this cat deserves.

•••

in the end, the kitty reunited with its real owner. you still remember the image of pure relief on her face when she hugged her pet tightly, a few tears escaping her eyes. she also thanked you dearly with a hug as well. she was beyond grateful to you over the fact that you decided to take it with you to the shelter.

oh and you found out that the kitten’s real name was molly. it was a perfect name for her no doubt, but you won’t regret calling her by your created nickname before. 

molly is now with her owner in her real home, loved and cared for. problem solved. so why don’t you feel happy about it?

you honestly felt a little guilty for even getting this attached. you should have expected this one way or another, it wasn’t like you were going to keep a cat all of a sudden just because you found it on the streets. you should forget about this and move on with your life.

dazai noticed your changed behaviour after the whole thing. he always does. you were more quiet at times, and he could tell you missed her even if you didn't bring it up. the affection you had for her was clear to him from the beginning. he often thought about how to make you feel better, what he could say to see that smile of yours again. one day he finally got an idea.

“love, i’ve been thinking about something,” dazai says, leaning slightly against the kitchen counter as he watches you cook breakfast.

you hum in response. “i'm listening,” you say simply while you sprinkle some salt onto the fried eggs you’re cooking. after a moment he decides to continue.

“i wouldn’t mind adopting a cat some time in the future,” he tells you truthfully as he glances at you, waiting for your reaction.

your movements pause. “...are you serious?” you turn to him and look deep into his eyes. for a second you were unsure if you heard him right.

dazai smiled fondly before nodding, and after processing what he meant, a smile grew on your lips too. he sees that familiar light in your eyes again now and he couldn’t feel luckier.

you moved closer to him and gave him a simple yet sweet kiss on the lips. dazai placed his hands on your hips, slowly drawing circles on them as he focused on the kiss.

afterwards, you kept your forehead in touch with his, murmuring your next words so tenderly.

“i love you so much.”

and dazai responds just as softly.

“i love you even more, my dear.”

wow this came out much longer than I thought whoopsies, anyways this guy definitively is secretly a cat person (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

[xuchiya]

Hello! Firstly, thank you so much for sharing your beautiful writings with us online 💕

I saw your post about your inbox being empty and I was wondering if you could write Jongho angst/fluff about his new relationship with reader who likes skinship, so like he gets shy and conflicted at first, maybe even insecure about not being good bf or angry about having to do skinship but then they both work things out and it has good ending? 🥺

I'm in desperate need of Jongho scenarios, maybe you'll bless me and other ribos with one 🙏

If not, it's okay too! Have a good day/night :D

Hello my loves, thank you so much, I'm quite rusty since i have stop writing for many years and this year was the only time I returned writing!! I am happy to always share my works with you ... and feed your delulus heheh 👹kidding my loves. Anyways, your wish is my command my loves.

"I'll hold your hand, eventually" || choi jongho || one-shot

|genre: non!idol jongho. fluff. angst. girlfriend! reader |mentions: fear. self-doubt.

When you first meet Jongho, you notice the way he is conservative. At first you thought he was shy—which you were correct as it took him a lot of time to adjust. You were patient enough to let him bask in the presence and the reality of being in a committed relationship. Meanwhile, inside his head numerous anxious thoughts hit him at once; being in the relationship, skinship does happen in some kind of way. Either it be a choice of savoring in the closeness or sweetness of your partner or by accident closure, either way it happens and he is not prepared for it. 

The air between you and Jongho had grown thick with an awkward tension that neither of you seemed to know how to cut. You put your lips in a thin line as you glance his way before directing it somewhere.

 It wasn’t always this way. 

When your relationship had first begun, everything had felt easy, light, like walking on a cloud. He is gentle with his words assuring you, making his presence a sense of comfort whenever you walk outside to take a breather— to which you both have loved to do ever since.

But now, four months in, a certain weight hung in the space you shared.

It had started with the little small things. One morning, you and Jongho decided to eat breakfast outside since the weather is nice; weather is warm to your skin, the sky greets you with its fluffy clouds and it feels like a good day. Unknowingly under the influence of the beauty of nature, you reach for his hand, a moment you wanted to share with him but it all shattered when Jongho smoothly pulls away from your hold. He thought that you wouldn’t notice when he started pointing things in general to distract you.

You felt it and it left you awkward and embarrassed as you thought you were going way too fast and nodded at his facts and such.

But what you didn’t know is the way he stiffened when you leaned into him on the couch during movie nights. Your favorite routine with him was to watch various shows and anime movies. Howl’s moving castle was your favorite of all time and it always leaves you with a fluttering heart.

“Howl is so sweet, he reminds me a lot of you.” You spoke with a huge smile on your lips as you gaze at the man beside you. He chuckles, shaking his head.

“He looks more like Wooyoung-hyung.” Your lips jutted to the side and nodded, agreeing with him “Yeah well he acts more like you.” 

You watch how he subtly rolled his eyes at you, jokingly to which you threw the small pillow you were hugging at him. He kept teasing you until you narrowed your eyes and moved towards him. The sudden short distance made Jongho’s eyes widen as he subtly moved backwards.

“You still are my Howl.” Even the joke had died and the awkwardness born in the middle of your playful bickering; It made you move away as you mumbled a small apology and kept your eyes on the screen.

That moment hurt you as you notice in the corner of your eyes the way he moved in his seat to make himself comfortable and placed a pillow just between you two. It was embarrassing and painful as your eyes blurred for a minute until you pushed it down and distract yourself, unsuccessfully, on the movie.

The last one was the final straw. He never reciprocated your hugs.

You tried not to let it bother you, knowing that Jongho wasn’t as naturally inclined toward skinship as you were. But the more it happened, the more the doubt crept in. Did he not like touching you? Did it mean something deeper about your relationship? 

You knew how shallow your reason is for distancing yourself from Jongho but it felt like the world was playing with you for finally having the thought of happily ever after. Of course! You promised Jongho and whoever hears it that you will always extend the patience you have within you all throughout your relationship.

But a simple gesture is enough to doubt whatever you have. Whoever you were.

On the other hand, Jongho was battling his own storm of thoughts. He loved you deeply, and that scared him. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to hold your hand or embrace you—it was that he wasn’t sure how. He wasn’t sure if he’d be good enough for you, if he could meet your needs the way you deserved. The last thing he wanted was for his awkwardness to disappoint you.

The weight of his doubts grew heavier with each passing day, an invisible barrier he couldn’t bring himself to cross. His heart raced every time you smiled at him, every time your fingers brushed him. He wanted so badly to close the gap between you, but something inside held him back—fear, uncertainty, a quiet voice whispering he might not be enough.

It all came to a head one chilly evening as the two of you were walking home from dinner. The streets were quiet, save for the soft crunch of your shoes against the pavement. The glow of streetlights painted golden halos on the wet ground, and your breath mingled with the cold in small, visible puffs. Without thinking, your arm instinctively looped through his, seeking warmth and comfort.

But Jongho hesitated. After a brief moment, he gently pulled away, shoving his hands deep into his coat pockets. The absence of his touch sent a pang through your chest.

You didn’t want to cause a scene in which he was already awkward with what was happening between the two of you, so you sighed and stopped in your tracks, the soft clink of your shoes on the pavement cutting off abruptly. The suddenness of your pause made Jongho stop as well, his back stiffening as he turned to face you.

“Jongho, why do you keep doing that?” you asked, your voice steady but carrying a weight of emotion that was impossible to ignore.

It was the moment Jongho had been dreading, the day he wasn’t ready to face. And now, he stood before you, caught in the headlights of your question, his throat dry and his heart pounding like a drum.

“Doing what?” he asked, feigning innocence, his voice barely above a whisper. He knew exactly what you meant, but he wasn’t prepared to confront it—not now, maybe not ever.

“Pulling away from me,” you said, your voice quieter now, laced with vulnerability. The look in your eyes told him this wasn’t just about tonight. This was about every moment he’d retreated, every time he’d let his hesitation overshadow the love he felt.

Jongho felt your words like a sharp knife, slicing through the layers of fear and doubt he’d built around himself. He opened his mouth, as though to speak, but no words came. He swallowed hard, frustration bubbling within him as he grappled with the emotions threatening to spill over.

“Do you even like me, Jongho?” The question came out softer than you intended, almost a whisper, but the impact on Jongho was like a thunderclap.

His eyes widened, panic flashing across his face. “What? Of course, I do!” he blurted out, the suddenness of his response surprising even him.

“Then why does it feel like you’re always holding back?” Your voice cracked, the dam of your own frustrations breaking at last. Tears welled up in your eyes, but you blinked them away, determined not to cry.

Jongho looked down at his feet, his hands still buried deep in his pockets as though they could shield him from the weight of the moment. He drew in a shaky breath, the cool night air filling his lungs as he tried to summon the courage to speak.

“I’m scared,” he admitted at last, his voice trembling with raw honesty. “I’m scared of messing this up, of not being enough for you. You deserve someone who knows what they’re doing, someone who isn’t… me.”

The vulnerability in his voice caught you off guard, and your anger softened into something gentler, something understanding. You took a small step closer, closing the space he’d put between you.

“Jongho,” you said softly, “I don’t need you to be perfect. I just need you to be here—with me.” Your words hung in the air, fragile yet powerful. It has come to you that this is what he has been going through and you instantly felt guilty for not noticing the turmoil he is in; you could have taken it in a way to understand more than just letting your emotions get the best of you. 

Jongho finally lifted his gaze to meet yours, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. It was like a weight on his shoulders had lifted and he could finally see the pain of his absence in touch. He would have already you in his arms if it wasn’t for his fear and doubt. But because your simple but impactful words had melted those thoughts away; gradually, hesitantly, he pulled his hands from his pockets, reaching for yours. His fingers trembled slightly as they intertwined with yours, but this time, he didn’t pull away.

“I’m here,” he murmured, his voice barely audible but steady. “And I’ll try. I promise I’ll keep trying.”

The weight of the moment settled between you, not as a burden but as an unspoken agreement to face the challenges ahead together. And as you walked the rest of the way home, hand in hand, the silence between you felt different—warm, reassuring, and filled with a quiet hope.

[gatitties]

Hi! Love your work!

I was wondering if you could do a headcannon with the straw hats in the skypiea arc, if a child reader got merked by Enel (maybe not actually dead just looks as if) and what would be the reactions? And action taken?

Feel free to ignore (please dont😭) bye bye!!

─Strawhats x child!reader (platonic)

─Summary: general headcanons of you being attacked in Skypiea

─Warnings: none

oh!! don't worry I barely ignore requests, I just take a long time to write 😔✋🏻

─ The moment you arrive at Skypiea the crew may give you up for lost, you are a curious child and this whole world of clouds keeps you distracted long enough to forget that you have a crew with which to continue a journey.

─ Everyone is so immersed in the place and its customs that they don't seem to notice how you enter that jungle full of enormous trees.

─ How you stayed alive during all that time of exploration taking into account that you were a wanted criminal for not having paid the initial bail, the number of wild animals in the forest and even Enel's priests is a mystery.

─ You come face to face with Enel, in reality, he approached you because he could feel you, being the weakest link he thought it wouldn't be fun for someone like you to be in his death game, so he decided to get rid of you before it started.

─ You put up a good fight ─bites─ but you didn't have enough skill to defeat the self-proclaimed God, running away only served you for a while until your energy was completely exhausted.

─ Enel's first mistake was thinking that you wouldn't need an attack that was too powerful to knock you out of the game, although you got a good spark, since you started traveling with this crew your body had learned to withstand a certain amount of pain, in short, you did not have the same resistance or abilities that a child your age would have, which helped you stay alive.

─ Robin was the one who found you, despite having just gotten out of her own fight, finding you limp on the ground with barely any breathing made all the pain in her body disappear, she crouched down and took you in her arms in the hope of reaching as soon as possible with the rest, but especially with Chopper so that he could treat you if he could.

─ Everyone seemed gathered except Nami, everyone was completely hurt, their expressions only darkened more when they saw how Robin brought your body, Luffy clenched his fist in anger when he saw you, not knowing if you were going to open your eyes, Usopp hugged Zoro praying in murmurs as Sanji and Chopper approached you.

─ Luffy didn't even wait to find out if you were okay or not, he simply started running towards Enel again, not only for revenge but to rescue Nami as well, Sanji joined in after knowing that you would be in the hands of the crew's doctor.

─ The others couldn't do much more than watch, hoping it wasn't the worst.

─ Everyone's face seemed to light up when you began to cough desperately, you opened your eyes and moved like a fish out of water, when you adjusted to the lighting you found everyone's face looking closely at you.

─ Everything continued as it should, maybe Enel took a couple more punches than necessary while fighting Luffy, but the important thing was that you didn't have any casualties during the trip.

─ Maybe it's a little more annoying for you now, but the crew refused to let you wander alone when there would be potential dangers lurking, so your exploration time was over, only until you could escape of course.

[mycatishandsome]

How I Shift: a step-by-step

So to start, I want to remind ya'll that what works for me, can and wil work for you, if you assume it will.

For context, I like to believe that the multiverse theory is true, but like mixing it in with the LOA (3D/4D/etc.) theory. I could sit here all day and talk and talk about those theories, but that's not what this post is about. If you scroll on my blog, you'll find plenty of posts that can do it better than I.

SO, where do we begin?

1.) As an obvious start, it's good to pick where it is you'd like to shift/ what you'd like to shift into this "reality". It's not super necessary, but it's great to reaffirm where it is your going/what you're bringing in.

2.) I like shifting at night (like most others), so before a shift, something I'll do is carve out a bit of time to go through my Pinterest boards. This is a great way to visualize what you want (what you technically already have) This is also great for my non-visualizers (or just those who have trouble doing it on the spot). it's a great way to reaffirm.

3.) Then depending on my DR, I'll choose an ambiance sound that is related (for example: star wars-space/ship sounds, harry potter-train sounds, pirates??? ships creaking/wind)(also sounds can be super broad, like rain/thunderstorm sounds) personally, I feel like ambience is crazy helpful for me (as I assume it is).

-The way I see it, and how I use it: The sounds I'm hearing ambiance wise, are the sounds I hear in my DR as well. They will not distract me! I have animals and loud roommates. Rather than sit there and get annoyed, i think to myself, "wow my house mates are rowdy tonight" in my DR. I apply those sounds TO my DR. This goes for the ambiance as well!

4.) At this point, I then pick how I'm going to meditate. So because I have autism, I tend to use the same two mediations because it's what I'm comfortable with (and they help me the best!) I'll tag them here :)

I start with this one: Law of Assumption meditation

Then listen to this one immediately after: Law of Assumption Meditation part 2

I listen to these one after the other using an app called musi. I set them to a timer so i don't have to stop a playlist or anything, just set it and go!

5.) I sometimes strait up fall asleep and shift, and sometimes i shift during these meditations. It often depends on how my mind set is, as sometimes I've had a tough day, or i just can't stop thinking about the exam i have tomorrow. Generally when I feel like this, I listen to another meditation before these other two. I don't have a specific one to link, i usually just look up 10 minute meditations. These will usually help me to relax and empty my mind.

Notice how none of these are shifting meditations. if you think it will work for you, then it will! I've always found that even when i was in the right mindset, shifting meditations were very.....not what shifting is. I always felt like they played against what i was trying to achieve. I'm sure there are some that are great and incredibly helpful!! I personally just haven't found that one yet. Shifting is generally simple, and to the point, there's no need to use complicated steps. (ONCE AGAIN, UNLESS you find they work for you! in your reality they may work just fine!)

I hope this helps, or at the very least gives some of ya'll some ideas on what to try!

Happy shifting!

[oneforthemunny]

cowboy!eddie ask:

OH MY GOD THESE COWBOY EDDIE SMUT FICS!!!!!

horny hours ahead.

Just think about this. At the first stage of their relationship, eddie and reader had a thing going on, a situationship but not an official relationship, so reader is head over heels for eddie, and eddie is smitten too but their pride gets in the way. So one night reader is having fun with her girlfriends at some town gathering ??? ( i don't know how they're called) and she wants to make eddie jealous. She wears her favourite sundress, red with spaghetti straps and lace and all and she flirts with other boys from town ALL NIGHT LONG. So our cowboy gets furious and wants her to himself and just needs to make it clear to her.

You can take it from here with your absolute best taste in smut writing.

this was so much longer than I meant it to be holy fucking shit.

18 + MINORS DNI

he really just enjoys the banter the two of you have, but honestly, he thinks the two of you are exclusive. he thinks it's so cool how you're not super clingy and will let him work, and then he picks you up and you guys chill.

that's never the case now is it?

you're convinced he's just fucking with you. playing a sort of cat and mouse game that you have no interest in partaking in. he rarely calls you, usually only comes by to take you out and then fuck you, leaving your apartment early saying something along the lines of "gotta get back to the horses, baby, they don't care that I'm sleeping in. they wanna get fed." in reality, it's the truth. he's not one to hump and dump, but he's gotta take care of his animals. still, you're furious.

the flower festival, to welcome in spring, is always downtown. most of the town shows up, there's a parade, and lots and lots of booze. more importantly, there's a band and you show up, wearing your favorite little red number (eddie's fave too) one that always catches between your ass cheeks when you walk, holding your cleavage up and sitting pretty on your chest.

eddie's drooling when he sees you, grinning over at you when you catch his eye. the only thing is, there sits lynette, the town whore that's always had a thing for eddie. she's a regular buckle bunny, who's pined after him for years. she's tried everything.

you're seeing red, and it's not just your dress. furious, you go up to chris, grinning and placing your hand on his bicep while he escorts you to get a drink. you don't look at eddie but you can feel his gaze on you.

the whole night goes like that too. eddie watching you flirt from boy to boy to boy, giggling, batting your eyes, twirling your hair. what does it for him is when harrison plucks his hat off his head, placing it on yours with a wink. eddie's had enough.

"'scuse me." eddie grins, calloused hand wrapping around your upper arm. "'m gonna take this little lady from ya for just a second."

you don't protest, letting him drag you, boots scuffing against the cobbled ground of the street. eddie is taking long, striding steps towards the parking lot, unrelenting in his grip on your arm.

"eddie, let go of me! I'm not done hanging out with my friends!" you huff.

"friends?" eddie scoffs, jaw clenching in anger. "fuckin' friends, yeah, they seem like they wanna be your friend." he seethes.

you scoff, rolling you eyes. "oh, don't tell me you're jealous, cowboy." you snap. "we're not anything special anyways. you're too busy with all your other little ladies aren't you?" you challenge, eyes squinted at him.

eddie blinks, scanning your features. "have you lost your mind?" he asks.

"no, but you certainly have. now let me go." you snap, wrenching your arm out of his grasp. "go talk to lynette or-or alice. I don't want to distract you."

"why the fuck would I talk to either one of them?" eddie throws his hands out. "why would I -hey, I'm talkin' to you." eddie grabs your arm, spinning you around to face him. "you gonna walk away from me when I'm talking to you?"

"who do you think you are?" you scoff. "you don't get to talk to me like that. not when you ignore me all week, and then think I'm gonna spread my legs and be on your booty call rotation with those other bitches. I'm not interested in that."

"what the fuck are you talkin' about?" eddie huffs, jaw clenched. "I told you, I had auction all week, and I was gonna take you out thursday, and you said you were sick!"

"because I'm not going to be played by you, eddie!" you shrill in the parking lot, uncaring of the people around you who might hear. "I'm not going to be competing for your attention with these other girls-"

"-goddamit!" eddie yells, slamming his hand in frustration on the metal of his truck. "I don't want any of those other girls. I want you." his eyes are intense, fierce, chest heaving hard under his band tee. you swallow thickly.

"I don't know who's told you I've been with other girls, but I haven't alright? when I'm not workin', or sleepin', I'm trying to be with you." eddie huffed, moving so he trapped you against the car, tattooed arms caging you. "I want you, you little brat, not anyone else but you."

your bottom lips quivers, flushing under his sweet gaze. your lips are on his in a moment, hands raking through his curls in an intense kiss that lead to the two of you fumbling around in his back seat of his truck.

eddie's belt buckle pressed against your thigh, the imprints of whatever saying or figure onto the soft skin while he thrusted into you, hard and unforgiving. his hand cradled the back of your neck, holding you close to his chest, while his other gripped the headrest for balance.

he was abusing that spongey spot inside of you, sure you'd be gushing soon. his thrusts were hard, breath heavy in your ear, curls falling loose from his bun and tickling your neck.

"you ever act like that again, and I'll use this belt to blister that cute little ass, you hear me?" eddie sneered, grunting when you clamped and gushed over his cock, strangling his thick member around your velvety walls.

"and you ever put on another man's hat, darlin', and you'll be in real trouble. don't you ever do that again." eddie growled.

"'m sorry, 'm sorry." you whimpered, nails gripping the fabric of his shirt, balling it between your fists.

eddie pounded you out, leaving you filled and flooded at the same time over his seats. good thing they're leather, eddie thought when he saw the mess you'd left behind.

he took you back to his place that night, pounding you out all night until the roosters were crowing, making you wear his hat while you rode him until your thighs were trembling and giving out.

eddie watched you, tangled under his sheets, the golden light of the morning sun on your skin, your parted lips puffing out air against his inked chest. he knew the horses would be waiting, but he couldn't bring himself to get up just yet. to leave a sight as precious and perfect as this. he knew you'd be around for a while, he'd make sure he could keep you around, keep you happy and all his for the rest of his life.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

What do you think about Equius and Eridan's ship? I think this is a pretty entertaining idea (I'm aware that they don't really tolerate each other, but maybe they could share their problems with each other and help each other?)

I won't tell people what they should and shouldn't ship, but it's unsupported by canon & I personally don't think they'd be a good fit for each other, because Equius is kind of a prude who's genuinely made uncomfortable by Eridan's incredibly strong emotional neediness, and Eridan needs attention from his friends and especially romantic partners, which Equius isn't really equipped to provide. But again, if you like it, don't let me stop you!

Uhhh warnings for talking about sexual stuff because unfortunately Equius is just kind of Like That and you can't really discuss him in good faith without getting into it.

Basically, Equius's deal is that he's kind of sheltered. His specific position in the hemocaste means he gets to avoid a lot of the awful shit the other highbloods have to deal with, while still being high enough that he gets to avoid lowblood problems entirely. He doesn't have to worry about being culled or even of having to cull others - at least, not until adulthood - to the point where he's in a position to object to Nepeta killing wild animals. The murder of other real, thinking, breathing people seems like a distant problem for future Equius - not a tangible reality quickly catching up to him.

CT: D --> You e%terminate beautiful, innocent creatures by the hundreds CT: D --> I can't condone such wretched behavior CT: D --> Beasts are meant to be 100ked upon with adoration AC: :33 < but AC: :33 < i eat them! AC: :33 < i dont kill anything i dont eat, that would be mean CT: D --> I guess that's basically acceptable in principle, but I still find it a bit unsavory

He knows that Alternia is dangerous, and that bad, horrible things happen to other people (I mean, he's neighbors with Vriska lmao), but he has the privilege of simply electing not to participate, and that's the solution he keeps presenting to Nepeta: don't talk to the lowbloods, because they'll harm you, don't talk to the highbloods, because they'll harm you, and don't play their dangerous games. I mean, it works for him!

CT: D --> The thought of you fraternizing with and abetting those stink-b100ded h001igans strikes me as scandal beyond measure CT: D --> I'm afraid you're too delicate to withstand that sort of corruption

EQUIUS: D --> Yes, which is among the reasons why I must make your prote%ion a high priority EQUIUS: D --> The highb100d has joined a stable of those who are becoming increasingly volatile and murderous as we remain stranded in this laboratory EQUIUS: D --> I command you to steer clear of them, do you understand

He has a kindly lusus who takes very good care of him, met his soulmate very early on, has a neighbor/friend he gets along with pretty well, and gets to spend basically all of his free time pursuing his hobbies and interests with no pressing duties or responsibilities to distract him. As far as is possible on Alternia, he's lived a charmed and peaceful life.

Now, although I'm going to make the caveat early that he's not actually that casteist, Equius is still the most casteist member on the team, short of post-corruption!Gamzee. The fact that he's sheltered is one of the primary reasons for this: he's never had a reason to question casteism, because casteism has always been pretty correct in his book, and he's never had the need nor impetus to question it any further than that. After all, lowbloods DO wind up getting themselves into horrible situations, and highbloods DO tend to be murderous, dangerous assholes. This is just The Way Things Are, right?

For more specific examples, the Team Charge debacle - which Equius had to know about because he's the one who patched Vriska up afterwards - ended with Tavros unable to walk and Aradia "broken" (most of the team didn't know she was dead until they entered the game; Terezi tells Vriska she thinks "whatever Vriska did to her" must've broken her brain somehow since she was never the same since). Meanwhile, the two highbloods really only got injured by each other. In Equius's eyes, this would've reinforced his views: lowbloods live dangerous lives wrought by their inherent degeneracy, and always suffer worse for it, while highbloods are unstable and violent, but ultimately faultless and unpunishable except by each other.

He also - again - is Vriska's neighbor, and Vriska's psionics work best on lowbloods, so that's the vast majority of who she brings in for her lusus to eat. The two most crass people on the team are also Karkat and Sollux - the latter of which is very much a lowblood, while the former regularly throws himself in with the "gutter bloods"; the fact that they swear and make sex jokes genuinely freaks Equius out, since he's a sheltered little noble boy who refuses to say cuss words.

EQUIUS: D --> For pete's goodfornothing di%ie whistling SA%ES, Nepeta

So with Equius, we see how unexamined and uninterrogated privilege and sheltering can lead to genuinely harmful beliefs. Equius's feelings come from a good place: he sees all these poor lowbloods dying and suffering, and all these high bloods doing horrific, scary shit, and he instinctively knows that something is wrong and the world they live in is dangerous - or else he wouldn't be trying to protect Nepeta from it. He knows that because she's lower than he is on the hemospectrum, she's much more at risk than he is of something terrible happening to her, so as much as possible, he tries to keep her away from engaging with the rest of society.

CT: D --> Well, green b100d is ok, but it's not great CT: D --> But that's why you're lucky to have me to 100k out for you CT: D --> Because you don't know better, and you can't fight the role the mother had in store for you

But because he's had no reason to challenge or question the casteist beliefs he was taught, the horrific stuff he witnesses actually reinforces them. In an attempt to make sense out of the terrible world he lives in, he falls back on the easy answers, the ones he's been repeatedly told since he was a child: lowbloods suffer because they are inherently "worse" than highbloods, and highbloods are inherently "better," so they're allowed to indulge all their most violent and horrific impulses and it's not actually a problem. He's comfortable with his reality; why isn't everybody else?

So um, that brings us to the sex stuff. Basically, because Equius is so sheltered, he doesn't realize that he has a massive BDSM kink, and kind of a voyeurism kink, and that a lot of the gratification and pleasure he feels from indulging in them are... um......... "that kind" of gratification and pleasure. To be honest, I think if someone genuinely levelled with him and pointed it out, he'd have a mental breakdown over it. Because, like, at his core, Equius is a polite, kind, helpful guy. There's a reason he listens to Karkat same as the rest of the team, why he helps with Tavros's robot legs, why Nepeta even likes him so much. A lot of his worst aspects just stem from the fact that he's conflating his desire to be stepped on with the hemocaste being an inescapable, correct reality.

He's basically this post lol:

So about specifically him and Eridan, like. We actually have Equius's outright stated opinion on Eridan.

CG: YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT, I DON'T GET IT CG: YOU KISS THE GROUND THIS LUNATIC WALKS ON BECAUSE HE HAS PURPLE BLOOD CG: BUT THAT DOESN'T STOP YOU FROM RIPPING ON ERIDAN, I KNOW FOR A FACT YOU DON'T LIKE HIM CG: AND HIS BLOOD IS EVEN PURPLIER, ISN'T IT? CT: D --> Yes CT: D --> That's different CT: D --> He is a sea dweller CT: D --> Our feud is codified in tradition CT: D --> Neigh, we are obligated to be at odds CT: D --> It's dignified ... CG: THE POINT IS, IF YOU SEE HIM, WOULD YOU MIND SNAPPING HIS STUPID WAND IN HALF OR SOMETHING? CG: AND THEN CHOKE HIM TO DEATH WITH HIS OWN SHITTY PRETENTIOUS SCARF. CT: D --> Do I really have to CG: GOD, WHAT IS THE PROBLEM NOW? CT: D --> I'd prefer not to interact with him CG: WHY CT: D --> It's primarily that his advances make me uncomfortable

See, Eridan... is not really Equius's type. And I can see why! Equius places a lot of importance on decorum and a100fness. Here's him basically telling Gamzee about why he's attracted to Gamzee and Aradia:

CT: D --> See, that's what I mean CT: D --> How is it possible for one of your distin%ion to be so ignorant CT: D --> And loathesome CT: D --> Whereas CT: D --> A member of the most abject, verminous b100dline of all CT: D --> Can conduct herself with such grace and possess nothing but admirable mannerisms CT: D --> I find these striking ju%tapositions perple%ing, and I confess strangely into%icating

He hates that Gamzee acts dumb and friendly, and wants him to be mean and commanding - and is probably lowkey picking up on the fact that Gamzee DOES have that within him, although he's hiding it. At the same time, he's weirdly attracted to how Aradia is aloof, intelligent, and strong-willed, despite being the lowest possible caste. Basically, Equius wants a pretty classically cultured dom to put him in his place - bonus points if caste-play is involved, whether it's a higher caste acting in accordance to their position on the spectrum, or a lower caste degrading him to a point below themselves.

So, initially, you'd think that Eridan would actually be his ideal for such a position, land dweller/sea dweller feud notwithstanding. After all, Eridan is all about acting like a traditional sea dweller, talking up his nobility and how much better he is than the lower castes, wanting the land dwellers dead/in their place, etc. etc.

But that's where we hit a snag. Eridan is pretending. He's pretending in the opposite direction of Gamzee, in fact. Where Gamzee is genuinely quite mean and nasty, but masking that in an attempt to get along better with his friends, Eridan is actually pretty - well, "nice" is the wrong word, but he's desperately presenting himself as meaner and more casteist than he actually is.

Equius wants to be effortlessly dominated, but Eridan puts in 110% at all times. Equius wants someone who upholds the caste system, and Eridan is actually totally indiscriminate when hitting on people because he actually doesn't give a shit about class differences. Equius wants someone who commands respect, but Eridan is kind of the team laughingstock. Also Eridan swears in proportion to his dialogue second only to Karkat.

Eridan's emotional desperation, disregard for the caste system, and cringefail antics are all massive turnoffs for Equius, and in a lot of ways, genuinely kind of scare him. I mean, again, Equius is a sheltered little noble boy who's made uncomfortable by cussing or killing animals for meat - and here's Eridan, one of the team's biggest murderers, genuinely obsessed with death and genocide, mouth of a sailor, willing to shoot his shot with anyone on the hemospectrum. Equius gets along better with Karkat, and Karkat's not even ON the hemospectrum.

It wouldn't even be pitch or ashen hatred to me, because Equius doesn't object to Eridan, morally or ethically - he just finds Eridan uncomfortable to be around, and prefers not to interact with him if he can help it. And that's really bad for Eridan, because Eridan's basically a huge emotional wreck and has a pretty fundamental need for emotional support and attention from his romantic partners - I've touched on it before, I think when I talked about him and Tavros, but Eridan has a genuine anxiety attack when Vriska accidentally ghosts him (because she's mercy killing her lusus), and I really don't think it would be good for him if he were to become emotionally attached to the guy whose whole Thing is standing in the background and watching without interacting.

As for discussing their problems... like, that's kind of the thing? They don't actually have overlapping problems. Eridan's issues primarily stem from the pressures his position on the hemocaste have placed on him, whereas Equius has actually actively benefited from and enjoyed his position in that class structure. Like, even if they tried to share notes on their respective character arcs about shirking the shitty things Alternia imposed on them, it'd be like,

EQUIUS: D--> Did you know that one's position in the hemospe%rum has little to no bearing on their moral integrity or worth as a person ERIDAN: are you a fuckin idiot eq

ERIDAN: guess all that obsessin ovver murder wwas a huge fuckin wwaste ERIDAN: and didnt do me no good nor anybody else for that matter EQUIUS: D--> Well EQUIUS: D--> Yeah

Even if we try to bring in things that aren't strictly related to being a high blood and what that means on Alternia - like if we run with the idea that Eridan's lusus contributed to Eridan's shitty childhood - well, unfortunately, Equius can't relate. Aurthour was incredibly kind to Equius growing up and he loved Aurthour dearly. So on and so forth.

And, uh... this is kind of weird to say, but despite how forward Eridan is about romance, he's actually... kind of reserved, sexually? He doesn't crack sex jokes and his fixation on romantic relationships is more about the act of being in a relationship than about what they do in that relationship. His date ideas are pretty straightforward and traditional, because he tends to prioritize "doing a good job" and "living up to the standard" over how he actually feels or his own personal interests.

What I'm saying is, Equius's horniness would probably make Eridan uncomfortable. Especially before Equius realizes that he's just got massive kinks that he should probably keep under control - which is basically the entire comic - Equius tends to prioritize what they do in a relationship over the act of actually being in a relationship. In fact, he'd probably be just as happy to get domm'd by Gamzee or Aradia even if they weren't actually dating. That's a kind of freedom and trueness to one's desires that Eridan can't manage; moreover, because Eridan tends to prioritize "doing a good job", he's pretty willing to go along with whatever his partner wants - which, in Equius's case, means Eridan doing more of the thing that's actively harmed them both. And I just don't think that that'd be good for Eridan.

So, yeah, overall, not a good fit for each other, but again, don't let me stop you!

The most interesting arrangement of Eridan and Equius, to me personally, is the fact that I think Eridan and Nepeta would actually be pretty good friends once they started talking (and Eridan got a moirail). Nepeta is the Anti-Casteism troll, the only one to outright state that she believes blood color shouldn't matter, and Eridan's whole deal is being less casteist than he pretends to be, to the point of genuinely being the least casteist highblood. And they both RP and hunt for stuff.

However, if there's any example of "dangerous highblood" on the team before Gamzee snaps, it's Eridan, and Equius has pretty deep concern for Nepeta's safety, which actually sometimes comes at Nepeta's detriment. It wouldn't escalate to pitch or ashen, but I really like the idea of the two of them having an antagonistic relationship because Equius does NOT want Nepeta interacting with this insane murderer, while Eridan is like, bro, let the kitty cat cave shipper girl decide for herself, and Nepeta is like, why must boys fight.

[ssivinee]

✧Mindless✧

Part 1 | Part 2

<Part 2 of Wounded Heart, so i suggest you read that first>

BEBE! Bada Lee x F Reader x WOLF'LO Haechi Wang: Bada is a wreck after you leave, but you return after 5 months, thriving in life. But will history repeat itself, or do you finally get a happy ending?

Word Count: 13k

TW: Slight self-harm, a tad bit of dark humor, talks about bad coping habits, alcohol, and minor substances…this shit is lowkey toxic so pls keep that in mind

Note: NOW THIS IS THE LONGEST FIC IVE WROTE. I was struggling, ya'll like... this fic was literally beating my ass ngl. Also very much NOT proof read so🫡

Character Vision Board

During the five months you were gone, Bada's life took a turn. The emptiness you left behind seemed to grow with each passing day, and Bada's coping mechanisms gradually evolved into destructive habits that affected both herself and those in her vicinity.

She had turned to partying as a way to seek comfort in the late-night thrills of the bustling nightlife. The party's vibrant pulse, illuminated by the bewitching effects of flashing lights, offered a getaway from the burdens that had weighed heavily on her heart. The pounding music reverberated through the very core of her being, and the crowded venue seemed to come alive with a symphony of rhythm and laughter.

In the midst of the party, surrounded by a sea of euphoric faces, she found a temporary sanctuary from the guilt and loneliness that had taken up residence in her thoughts. The mesmerizing allure of the night, with its vibrant hues and ever-changing moods, offered a hypnotic diversion from the shadows of her mind.

Bada had always been known for her confident and charismatic demeanor, and it didn't take long for her magnetic presence to draw people toward her. Her laughter and animated conversations became a magnet, attracting friends and acquaintances who reveled in her engaging company. It was in these moments, under the neon glow of the dance floor, that she felt the warmth of human connection, a fleeting escape from her inner demons.

As the weeks passed, these gatherings became integral to her life. She eagerly embraced the nightlife almost every week, embracing its vibrant chaos as a temporary reprieve. The party had become a form of therapy, a way to momentarily set aside the harsh realities that lingered in the corners of her mind. Each night was a journey into the unknown, a whirlwind of emotions and experiences that helped her navigate the complexities of her own heart.

In her search for distraction, Bada played around with other girls more than before. Every day was someone new, and now, rather than having restraint, Bada’s actions became much more lewd. There were times students found the girl making out with someone in the cleaning closets, basically fucking someone in a bathroom stall, or even just daringly flirting with multiple people at once. She has always had a reputation as a player, and her charm seemed to work effortlessly despite her looming issues. 

Her transformation extended even to her role as a team leader. Bada's once compassionate and encouraging approach had given way to a more unyielding demeanor. She drove her team relentlessly, pushing them beyond their limits, her singular focus on anything but the troubling discomfort of longing that constantly haunted her thoughts.

Previously known for her unwavering dedication and passionate presence on the court, her leadership had evolved into a coping mechanism. During practice, her commands took on a sharper edge. "Come on, you guys! This isn't kindergarten; we need to get serious!" she'd bark, her words laced with an intensity that surprised her teammates.

Haechi, the team's co-captain and a close friend decided to address the issue after an especially grueling practice. She knew the actual reason behind Bada's changed behavior, but the team dynamics were profoundly impacted, and Haechi wasn't sure if it was her place to intervene. The situation was complicated because she was also personally involved and intimately understood the extent of everything.

Haechi approached Bada, her concern evident in her gaze. "Bada, you've been really hard on us lately. What's going on?" Bada's expression hardened as she grappled with her facade, struggling to keep her emotions at bay. "We need to win. I can't have any weak links on this team."

Haechi exchanged worried glances with the others. They sensed that Bada's intensity was driven by something far deeper than just the desire to win games, and it left them with a nagging sense of unease as they continued to practice under their unrelenting captain's leadership.

But each new fling, party, and quarrel only served as a fleeting distraction, never filling the void you had left behind.

There were late nights when she was alone in her room, and Bada would suffer about the facts. She missed you terribly. She missed your laughter, conversations, and the warmth you brought into her life. She yearned for the comfort and companionship of your friendship. As she lay in the darkness, the pain of her betrayal weighed heavily on her conscience. ‘I hurt the one person who truly cared about me. Am I just that stupid?’ she would silently admit.

These moments of reflection ate away at her, and she couldn't help but wonder how different things might have been if she hadn't let her fear and insecurities drive a wedge between you two.

Bada appeared on a desperate quest to bury the pain that still raced through her heart. With every beat, she felt the gaping void left by the absence of the most vital person in her life. No amount of parties, casual flings, or wild distractions could fill the vast emptiness that you had once occupied. 

In the quietest hours of the night, when the world was still, and her thoughts were loud, she found herself secretly yearning for your return. She harbored a genuine hope, wishing for a chance to mend the bridges she had inadvertently burned. 

Amid the crisis of losing you, Bada left no stone unturned in her quest for any trace of your existence. She scoured social media platforms, meticulously searching pages and timelines for the smallest updates or any signs of your life. Every ping of a notification filled her with a blend of hope and dread. 

She texted your number, pouring her heart into each word, desperately longing for a response. The silent void on the other end of the line only deepened her despair, leaving her grappling with your absence's stark reality.

Currently, Bada couldn't claim that she was doing any better. The pain persisted, but she was perhaps a touch more subdued than she had been in the turbulent months that had preceded this moment. She carried the weight of longing and loss, hoping for a glimmer of change in her circumstances.

The Past 5 Months

Bada was spiraling out of control. Despite her attempts to cope with your absence through partying and casual encounters, her world was slowly unraveling. The parties had become a regular getaway. Late nights turned into early mornings filled with pure adrenaline and blackouts. It was all a blur, a haze that she thought helped heal her pain but left her feeling emptier each time she woke up.

She especially enjoyed Noze’s parties, though, one of the few friends who enjoyed this new version of her. Noze ensured Bada enjoyed every night, letting her drink several liquor bottles, familiarizing Bada with weed, and introducing new girls to her. But, as one friend condoned the changes, the other three started worrying about their friend.

"Bada, maybe you should consider slowing down with the parties," Lee Jung gently suggested, concerned for her friend's well-being. The suggestion arose from the remnants of a bet they had made together, which had unintentionally caused a heated argument within their close-knit friend group. 

In the aftermath of the dispute, Bada had initially pointed fingers and placed blame on her friends, especially Lee Jung, for an entire month. However, deep down, she couldn't maintain her anger. She recognized that her resentment toward them was irrational, as she was equally at fault for the situation. 

Following the resolution of the argument, Bada's demeanor began to take a more concerning turn. Her attitude deteriorated, and she became increasingly prone to conflicts and confrontations. She seemed to lash out at anyone she deemed inferior or who challenged her in any way. The charming charisma she once exuded had now given way to an intimidating aura that, paradoxically, seemed to repel people while simultaneously drawing them in. It was as if the inner turmoil she had been grappling with was spilling over into her interactions with others, casting a shadow on her once-magnetic presence. The turmoil was like a cloud that had descended upon her, tainting the dynamics of her friendships and her personal life.

The fights were always something small that triggered the tall girl. An example of this was on a random afternoon in the university courtyard, where students gathered to relax, study, or socialize. Bada Lee, was sitting at an outdoor table, poring over her textbooks, trying to concentrate on her studies.

As she engrossed herself in her phone, a student from a nearby table accidentally bumped into her chair while walking past. The minor collision sent her drink rolling off the table and onto the ground. Irritated, Bada muttered under her breath, "Watch where you're going, you klutz."

The student, a young man with an apologetic expression, turned and said, "I'm really sorry about that. It was an accident."

Bada, however, was in no mood to accept an apology. Her hot-headedness had been consuming her patience, and she snapped back, "Accident or not, you should be more careful! My stuff is important, and now I have to pick up my pen because of your clumsiness."

The exchange had caught the attention of nearby students, who were now watching the situation unfold. The student, taken aback by Bada's harsh words, knelt to pick up the bottled drink and handed it to her, saying, "I said I was sorry. You didn't have to be so rude about it." Bada's temper flared. She aggressively snatched the drink from the boy’s hand and retorted, "Well, maybe if you were paying attention, you wouldn't keep causing problems for others!" She tells him as her pointer and middle finger jabbed continuously on his shoulder.

The pressure in the courtyard grew as other students exchanged uneasy glances. The situation escalated further as the young man, frustrated with Bada's attitude, replied, "I apologized, and I tried to help. You need to work on your manners." Bada's face reddened with anger. She pushed her books aside and stood up abruptly, causing her chair to screech loudly across the courtyard. "You have a lot of nerve, talking to me like that," she hissed.

The situation had escalated into an unnecessary confrontation, with both students locked in a heated exchange, their voices rising as they continued to argue. Bada's hot-headed attitude had once again ignited an incident, leaving the courtyard filled with an uncomfortable tension.

Even the bond between Bada and her parents had taken a sharp downturn, despite already not having the best relationship with them.That time of her life had become a persistent strain that weighed heavily on their family life.

Bada had moments where she believed she was making progress, her determination shining through, but these fleeting glimpses of improvement couldn't dispel the ongoing tension that seemed to permeate their household. The atmosphere was saturated with unresolved conflicts and unspoken words, casting a shadow over what was once a warm and harmonious home.

Bada's behavior had become increasingly reckless, mirroring her inner turmoil and frustrations. This recklessness was like a quiet storm, slowly but surely eroding the fragile remnants of understanding that had been left between her and her parents. They were beginning to contemplate a difficult decision, one that had seemed unimaginable before the possibility of sending her away in an attempt to restore peace and find a solution to the growing discord within their family.

As for her interactions with other girls, they had become a simple distraction, like they originally were. Bada had always been known as a player, but now it was as if she was desperately searching for someone to help her heal. She sought comfort in others' company but found none, just an easy quickie to get away, even for a moment.

In the days following your departure, Bada made genuine attempts to focus on her studies. She recognized the importance of maintaining her grades, but being separated from you posed a significant challenge. At times, she found herself gazing at her textbooks, her mind drifting back to the memories of your study sessions and shared laughter.

One day, unable to bear the weight of her emotions any longer, Bada decided to text you. She had thought long and hard about what to say, her fingers hesitating over the keyboard. Finally, she just goes for it.

Bada Hey, it's Bada. I know I messed up. I miss you.  Everything's been messing with my head.

But as the hours passed without a response from you, Bada felt her resolve waver. She thought, ‘Maybe I can't fix this,’ and gave in to her old school habits, falling back into familiar behavior patterns.

The days turned into weeks, and Bada's life continued to spiral. She had lost her way, and there was a growing sense of desperation in her actions. She longed for a chance to make amends, to rebuild the friendship she had thoughtlessly destroyed. But as time marched on, she couldn't help but wonder if it was too late to find her way back to the person she used to be.

After 5 Months

Bada's friends gathered around a cafeteria table, the lively buzz of their fellow students providing the background noise. Bada herself was engrossed in messaging a casual acquaintance, and her friends munched on snacks while discussing their upcoming schedules.

"Dude, next week's soccer game is about to kick our asses. The other team's record is still 13-0, like how do we even beat that?" Aiki groaned, capturing everyone's attention.

Emma responded with a nonchalant shrug, and Noze tapped her shoulder beside Lee Jung. "What about Bada’s basketball game next week?"

While all this unfolded, Bada remained busy in the bathroom with another girl, completely oblivious to what had transpired. Noze was about to turn to Lee Jung to discuss an impending assignment when her attention abruptly shifted to the entrance, where three unfamiliar girls entered with unwavering confidence.

Aiki's astonishment caught everyone's interest, and they looked up to see the three girls striding in with remarkable self-assurance.

As she left the restroom, her hair and clothes disheveled, she witnessed an unexpected sight. Her eyes widened in shock as she caught sight of the three of you. Overwhelmed, she whispered your name, staring at your transformed appearance. "Y/n?" Bada murmured to herself, her eyes locked on you. Noze hurried over to Bada, commenting, "Dude, they’re so fine, especially the one in the middle." Bada was too stunned to reply as she watched you three walk deeper into the cafeteria.

You returned to Korea with Aeri and Yunjin in tow. It was your decision because the American girls believed the school would be a great fit for them, and they were planning to move back to Korea. Little did you know this new trio would change things and create a strong force.

Together, you, Aeri, and Yunjin formed a unique bond even while still in the States. You were like a powerhouse trio, supporting and challenging each other in ways that brought out the best in everyone. Your friendship had strengthened during your time abroad, and now, you were ready to face new challenges at your old school. These girls became your rock while you had to work through your grueling internship, and they even helped you with this new version of yourself. The girls wanted to upgrade your wardrobe, enhance your confidence, and help with a new style of makeup. 

And god, did it make you look even more stunning than Bada remembered.

Stepping onto the bustling campus, you couldn't help but notice the sneaking glances and hushed whispers from Bada's circle of friends. They had undeniably heard about how the bet had concluded, though the full extent of the details remained a mystery to them. Their curiosity grew as they observed your confident demeanor, even though your identity remained a puzzle.

Yet, what struck Bada the most was the remarkable transformation in your appearance. Your once raven-black hair had morphed into a striking shade of blood-red, a bold statement that spoke of change. Your choice of clothing had evolved as well, embracing a more revealing style that mirrored a newfound confidence. This transformation left Bada in awe; she had anticipated changes, but the extent of it was astonishing.

At first, Bada harbored a glimmer of hope about mending the rift between you two, but her optimism waned as she observed your interaction with Haechi. A bright smile and a warm hug welcomed Haechi, revealing the depth of your connection. As you introduced Haechi to your friends, it became apparent that she held a significant place in your life during your time away. Deep down, a twinge of jealousy tugged at Bada's heart, though she tried to bury the feeling beneath a veneer of composure.

You walked into the English classroom alone, the absence of Aeri and Yunjin making you feel somewhat vulnerable amidst the sea of unfamiliar faces. The start of the new semester had brought about an unexpected twist of fate as it placed you, Bada, and Haechi in the same class. This class, in particular, was known for its emphasis on discussion and interaction, making it clear that interactions were about to become an inevitable part of your academic routine. The universe seemed to conspire to bring you all together once more, forcing you to confront the past and navigate the complexities of your shared history.

The atmosphere in the room was palpable, heavy with unspoken tensions. Bada's friends cast cautious glances in your direction, their expressions mixing curiosity and sympathy for their friend. As for you, the mere sight of Bada back in your life once more stirred a whirlwind of emotions within you. Her pleading gaze met yours, and in response, you turned your eyes away with a subtle scoff, a barrier between your feelings and the present moment.

Haechi, seated beside an empty chair, motioned for you to join her. She extended a warm smile and offered you a cup of coffee, a comforting gesture that eased some of the room's tension. "Thanks, Haechi," you said, taking the coffee and settling into the seat beside her. She responded with a gentle pat on your thigh, her concern evident in her gaze. "You okay?" Haechi asked, her voice laced with genuine care. You met her gaze, offering a reassuring but restrained smile. "I'm good, don't worry about it, okay?" Haechi fell into a thoughtful silence, her fingers brushing your arm gently. "Let me know if you ever need anything. You know I'm always here for you," she offered, her sincerity shining through. Encouraged by her words, you ran your fingers through her hair, your lips curving softly. "I know, Haechi."

Throughout the interaction, Bada observed in silence, fueled with mixed emotions. She knew she had no right to be angry, yet an undeniable sense of jealousy crept into her heart as she watched you stare at Haechi with eyes of care. While you were away, Bada and Haechi remained cordial, never bringing up you or the day you left, but that hindered the way they worked on the court and even as friends. Haechi got much more secretive, and Bada never knew why. 

Yes, they had a falling out, and Bada knew their friendship wouldn’t be the same as before, but this drastic change caught her off guard. Unbeknownst to Bada, Haechi was hiding the fact that she had been keeping up with you on social media, even chatting with you often, even in completely different time zones. Haechi had seen the new friends who had entered your life, especially Yunjin and Aeri, who seemed to be helping you navigate the tough times. She knew of your progress and the support system you had built, but she had chosen not to share this information with Bada, especially seeing how Bada had relapsed because of the situation.

The professor introduced you to the class since you joined a bit late. "Our next unit is about writing on feelings. It's a broad topic. I'll go around, and when I point at you, share what you'd write about based on your current feelings and why." He pointed at random students; most mentioned common emotions like happiness or stress.

The atmosphere in the classroom shifted when it was Haechi's turn to respond. The professor's question hung in the air, waiting to be answered. "What about you, Miss Wang? How are you feeling right now?" Haechi paused for a moment, a thoughtful look in her eyes. "I'd say it's as simple as being... in love?"

Her words caught both Bada and you by surprise. An unspoken curiosity lingered in the room, leaving everyone to wonder: Who was she in love with?

The professor noted her hesitation and probed further, "You don't seem entirely sure, Miss Wang." Haechi chuckled softly. "I said it's simple, but it's not quite there yet."

He continued, "So, a crush?" Haechi nodded, her gaze drifting toward you as you busily responded to messages on your phone. The professor moved on to the next student.

"Miss Lee, how about you?" Bada fidgeted nervously with her hands, the unease evident in her expression. Sharing her feelings in front of the class was an intimidating prospect. "Regret," she mumbled, glancing at you as she spoke. Her friends offered silent support, patting her back, understanding that Bada was navigating her own unique journey of coping with pain. 

"Why regret?" the professor inquired.

"I messed up," Bada admitted straightforwardly, giving a quick, almost reassuring nod as if she needed to affirm her words. A moment of silence followed before the professor decided to move on to the next student. "Miss Baek?"

Your head shot up, and you hesitated, keenly aware of the emotional weight of the responses that had come before yours. "Maybe 'endeavoring'?" you suggested, your voice quivering slightly. The professor encouraged you to elaborate, and you fidgeted uncomfortably in your seat as you opened up.

"I'm trying hard to become a newer and better version of myself. A version that's less naive," you confessed, revealing your vulnerability. Your response hung in the air, leaving you feeling exposed as you anticipated the inevitable questions and curiosity surrounding your pursuit of self-improvement.

In the following group discussions and class activities, you, Bada, and Haechi found yourselves being forced to engage with each other at certain times. The moments were filled with silent tension, unspoken words, and lingering gazes hinting at your unresolved feelings.

It was strange to you. You weren’t unaware of emotions and how they worked, but you should’ve been raging at the girl, even if she tried apologizing. Yet there was no denying the complicated web of emotions surrounding you and Bada. The past couldn't be erased, and the future remained uncertain, but one thing was clear: your reunion had brought new challenges into your lives. It left Bada wondering if there was still a chance for her to make amends and rebuild the friendship she had so thoughtlessly shattered, but she had to find a way to make it up to you. 

Even if it was just for the sake of her own mental.

In the weeks following your return, Bada couldn’t find any chance to be near you. At least you didn’t give her the chance to. If you were with your friends, you’d stray away from them. If you were with Haechi, you acted cuddly and somewhat flirtatious with her. If you were in class, you focused on every assignment. So Bada felt like she couldn’t butt in anywhere.

Bada did discover something she wasn’t too happy about. Haechi had been in contact with you while you were away, something Bada had not expected. She overheard her co-captain speaking to other girls on the team, as they seemed interested in your friendship. “So you're telling me, Baek Y/n, was the top student? The one who sat in the back of class and always wore a mask and hoodie?” Haechi nods at the question. “We just texted and called a lot while she was gone. I wanted to make sure she was okay, you know?” Jealousy gnawed at Bada as she wondered about the nature of your conversations and the connection that had persisted between you and Haechi.

You sat on a garden bench on a regular Thursday evening, chatting with Aeri and Yunjin. The conversation revolved around some gossip about friends back in the States. Aeri, still engrossed in her phone, asked, "Did Sarah spill the beans about her boyfriend?" Her eyes remained glued to her phone screen as she typed away.

Both you and Yunjin exchanged knowing glances, sensing some juicy details were about to be revealed. Without hesitation, you and Yunjin pulled out your own phones and began frantically scrolling through social media, eager to uncover the latest scoop. Yunjin chimed in, playfully groaning, "Well, can you tell us while we look? You're making us curious." Aeri observed the two of you with a smirk, "You two are like detectives when it comes to gossip."

Aeri revealed, "She said she found him hooking up with one of the girls from her group project." Her revelation earned a collective scoff from you and Yunjin. "Some people are just pigs," you grumbled, clearly not impressed by Sarah's boyfriend's behavior. The other girls nodded in agreement, sensing your irritation and not pressing further on your personal tone.

Just then, Haechi made her way to your group, catching you in the midst of your gossip and relaxation. "Hello, ladies," she greeted, waving at all three of you, though her eyes lingered on you a bit longer. You welcomed her with a warm hug, "What’s up?"

Haechi smiled and replied, "I was actually looking for you guys. I’m hosting a party tomorrow at my family’s townhouse and was hoping you three would come?" Her hopeful eyes rested on all of you, but the emphasis seemed to be on you.

You gladly accepted her invitation, "Of course, Haech. Just send me the details."

As you confirmed your attendance, she swiftly took out her phone to share the information. "I’ll see you later in class, alright?" You nodded as Haechi exited, and as she walked away, Aeri couldn't contain her excitement. She playfully shook your shoulders, causing you to laugh. "She’s so into you, girl."

Yunjin chuckled at the interaction and said, "Yeah, it's pretty obvious." You couldn't help but roll your eyes at their teasing, a subtle smile gracing your lips. "Oh, come on, you two. She's just being friendly." Aeri and Yunjin exchanged knowing glances before bursting into laughter, clearly not buying your innocent act.

The next day, the three of you prepared for the party in your cozy apartment. The morning sun streamed through the curtains, casting a warm glow on the room. The sound of upbeat music reverberated through the space, filling the entire house with an infectious energy.

As you and your friends got ready, the atmosphere was charged with excitement. You stood in front of the open closet, selecting from several outfits that were carefully hung and arranged by color and style. After trying on a few options, you settled on a simple yet stunning black dress. It was made mostly of mesh, which added an alluring and stylish touch to your ensemble. The dress clung to your curves in just the right places, making you feel confident and radiant.

Aeri, the makeup enthusiast of the group, took charge of your makeup. She wouldn't stop pestering you until you reluctantly agreed to let her work her magic. As she skillfully applied makeup, you couldn't help but glance at your reflection in the mirror. You had to admit, she had transformed your look, enhancing your features and giving you a sultry, glamorous appeal. It was a look that could turn heads and make a lasting impression.

With your hair styled and makeup perfected, you felt ready to take on the night. Once you were all dressed and glamorously prepared, you left the apartment, the pounding music fading behind you.

Arriving at Haechi's large townhouse, you were met with an electric atmosphere. The lights and music created an ambiance of celebration, and the chatter of excited partygoers filled the air. You took out your phone and texted Haechi to let her know that you had arrived. In no time, she responded, instructing you to head to the pool area where she and her friends were hanging out. The anticipation in the air was notable, and you were more than ready to join the party.

Navigating through the sweaty, inebriated bodies in the crowded house, Bada's sharp eyes caught a glimpse of your fiery red hair. The instant she spotted you, her heart leaped, and an overwhelming desire to be by your side surged within her. However, the maze of partygoers and the deafening music made it nearly impossible for her to pinpoint the perfect moment to approach you.

As you, Aeri, and Yunjin finally made your way to the backyard, transitioning from the bustling house to the open air was a breath of fresh relief. The chaotic, pulsating energy of the indoor party gave way to a serene yet lively outdoor setting. The atmosphere was alive with laughter, chatter, and the glistening reflections of the pool.

Your eyes quickly sought out Haechi's figure, who was seated by the poolside, surrounded by familiar classmates and friends who were engaged in animated conversations. Her presence exuded a tempting charm, drawing you in like a bee to honey.

When she sensed your gaze, the tension between you and Haechi was palpable, thickening the air around you. Her teeth tugged seductively on her lips, and her captivating gaze remained unwaveringly fixed on your body. Haechi was clearly reveling in the sight before her, the intensity of her emotions mirrored in her smoldering eyes, creating an electric connection between the two of you.

“I’m glad you could make it,” she tells you, sipping on a red solo cup, likely filled with alcohol. “I wouldn’t miss your party, Haech,” you simply tell her, as your friends already mingled away to the table filled with drinks. “You want anything?”

“Some plain soju would be nice,” she nods at you, pulls you over to the table, and pours you a cup. “You look good, Y/n-nie,” her husky voice almost seemed to purr when complimenting you. A coy smile forms on your lips, your gaze becoming dangerously enticing, “I can say the same thing about you,” you tell her as you take a sip of the soju, feeling your body heating up due to just one taste of the drink.

“I’ve been wanting to ask about the English assignment, by the way?” Your brow raises, “You’re talking about an assignment? During a party?” You giggle at her antics, but her seductive eyes stay on yours, “I was hoping for a private lesson.” You feel the shiver down your back, her voice getting deeper as she continues.

“I’m sure I can help you in some way, too,” you feel your body heating up even more. “We can work something out,” you say as your hand caresses her arm, feeling up the sleeve of her letterman jacket. Haechi was now liking this new feeling you’ve brought upon her, deciding to make a move. The music starts booming on the speakers, and the taller girl smirks at the sound, “Wanna go dance?”

With a sly smile, you returned her reply, "Of course." Navigating your way through the pulsating crowd, the sensual rhythm of the music reverberated through the entire house.

As you and Haechi swayed your bodies in harmony to the seductive beat, an undeniable magnetic pull drew you closer. The atmosphere was charged with noticeable sexual tension as your bodies moved, grinding in a rhythm that left no space between you. The vibration from the speakers had the two of you feeling the dizziness from the heated moment. Haechi's long arms enveloped your hips in a firm, possessive embrace. Her fingers, gripping strong, found their place on your thighs, the touch being electrifying, signaling anticipation from you. 

The chemistry between you two was igniting a fire that had been fuming beneath the surface for months, leaving bystanders feeling the heat of your connection. 

Meanwhile, Bada watched in the corner of the room. She noticed you walking in as Haechi gripped your wrist, visibly feeling disgusted at the sight of you two getting up close and personal. She couldn't help but notice the spark between you and Haechi, and her jealousy was beginning to get the best of her again. In a misguided attempt to put an end to her emotions, she saw the same blonde girl you had found her with that one night after the basketball game. It was wrong, sure, but if anyone learned ANYTHING about Bada - she didn’t know how to control her emotions properly. Bada had pulled the blonde to the dance floor, making sure you could see them as the tall girl’s hands roamed all over her body. 

Your eyes met hers for the first time since you got here, and it felt as if your entire world was crumbling again. You wanted to deny the feelings, not try to feel weak, vulnerable, or stupid over the girl, yet you couldn’t help it. Bada may have felt like she was the only one changing, but she was also helping you.

So when you saw the same girl that day, you felt hurt and betrayed again. You almost didn’t even remember Haechi’s presence behind you, only being alerted again as you felt her chest beating. Feeling the weight of Bada’s actions, you tried to escape the dance floor, finding an excuse. “Let me go get a drink and use the bathroom!” You yell over the loud music, and Haechi nods. 

You stumbled into the kitchen, grabbing any bottle at hand, pouring a cup to the top, and gulping it down to numb the pain and confusion that had enveloped you. The fiery burn in your chest and the swirling dizziness offered a brief respite from the shit show happening in the other room. Even though you knew it was wrong to punish yourself this way seemingly, your mind whispered that perhaps it was time to let loose, to indulge in a bit of naughtiness, for reasons you weren't entirely sure of. All that mattered in that moment was making this night count, no matter the consequences.

When your mind was made up, you quickly went to the living room, finding Haechi again, leaning on the wall with a clear flush all over her body. ‘She was drunk,’ the thought made your next decision easier.

You pulled her arm to the corner of the room, where a couch could be seen, and pushed her down. Haechi was shocked but relaxed as you straddled her, getting comfortable on your lap. Her eyes travel down to the ends of your dress as it rode up your thighs due to them being spaced out by her legs. She placed her hands under your thighs, keeping you balanced as you leaned closer to her.

Your eyes traveled to her lips as your hand pressed on her waist, “Is it bad if I really wanted to kiss you right now?” You mumble in her ear, nibbling lightly, and Haechi’s mind is going feral at the feeling of your breath tickling her skin. She impulsively pulls your chin with her long fingers, lips crashing down on yours. The feeling of your soft, pouty lips hooked the taller girl as she pulled on your bottom lip, wanting to feel your tongue.

So when you oblige, the swirling of your tongue around hers encourages her to wrap her arms around your waist, bringing you closer as you find your hands banding themselves around the back of her neck. The room was already hot, but sweet began to form as your body heat radiated off each other.

Without breaking the kiss, you take your jacket off swiftly and lay it beside the girl who was now gripping your waist with much force. Bada had seen you leave and knew she was successful, but her face burned in anger when she found your red hair again. She only saw your backside, but she knew what was going on with the way you were positioned and how your head was motioning. “Dude, you're killing the cup,” she heard Aiki point out and looked down to see the discombobulated red solo cup, clear liquor dripping from her fingers. “My bad,” Bada groans, finding a napkin to clean up the mess. 

Looking back up, she finds you sitting on Haechi’s lap, now to the side and laughing lightly as the tall girl whispers in your ear.

‘Oh fuck this,’ Bada just walks out of the house, not caring about her friends pleading for her. She couldn’t stand it, yet were you just gonna let her waltz back in and kiss her - it was impossible for it to be that easy. You stayed at the party for a little longer, just chatting away with everyone as Haechi stole a few kisses from you every now and then as you enjoyed the rest of your night.

Amidst the chaos of your complicated relationships with Bada and Haechi, you found solace in shopping with Aeri and Yunjin the next day. The three of you bonded over retail therapy, spilling the tea about your respective love lives and the intricacies of your feelings. So, the topic naturally turned to Bada and Haechi during your shopping spree. 

You sat on the bench with Aeri and Yunjin, trying out new clothes as you watched, already buying the clothing you picked out. “So you’re saying you made out with Haechi cause you were jealous of Blondie and Bada?” Yunjin asks, making sure she understands the situation.

“Honestly, so real,” Aeris says, encouraging your choices as usual. “I mean, I’m sure Haechi should’ve expected something like that to happen at a party without so many feelings involved,” Yunjin rationalizes, but it gets you thinking.

Did you like Haechi? Do you still like Bada? Were you over everything Bada did to you? Did the kiss mean anything? Was it just the heat of the moment? You only guessed that time could tell. It hasn’t even been a month since your return, and you already struggled to comprehend things.

Once the two girls notice your silence, Aeri snaps her fingers in front of your face, “Hello? Y/n? Still with us?” You shake your head at the teasing tone, a giggle being pushed out. “I don’t know what to feel right now, honestly,” your voice comes out soft, and the girls realize it is actually serious. “Well, do you like Ms. Wang?” Yunjin, the certified friend psychiatrist of the group, asks you, and you shrug. “I won't deny liking her company. Haechi has been with me through the months of hurt and change,” you pause, and the girls anticipate what's coming next. “But?”

You sigh, “But I can’t get that asshole Bada out of my head.” You share your conflicting emotions and the tangled web of attraction, jealousy, and unresolved history that defined your interactions with the two basketball captains.

“Is it not just physical attraction to you?” Yunjin’s question made you think that you were sure it wasn’t just physical with Bada but you with Haechi, fully knowing that she had become a safe space for you. “I don’t really think either of them are solely physical.” You groan. The thoughts started giving you a brutal headache as you sat on the chair, hanging your head low with your eyes shut.

“I don’t think anyone can blame you, girl. The entire school population loves those two girls, and it's kinda concerning especially since Bada doesn’t have the best track record with women.” Aeri points out, and you scoff, “You’re not wrong, girl, but these girls have always been like that for Bada.” More than ever, it seemed like many were vying for Bada’s attention, and it left you contemplating the complex dynamics of your relationships, now with Haechi in the picture as well. The two captivating and complex girls who had entered your life once more and would most likely cause havoc in your life.

The next week, everything was surprisingly normal. You and Haechi weren’t awkward after the steamy night, but the friendship was sure flirtier than before. Whenever she saw you the entire week, she’d kiss you on the cheek or play with your soft locks. You began to realize that Haechi’s love language was physical touch, but you never knew why it took you so long to think of that. The girl used to hug you every time she said literally hello, so it made sense.

It was now Monday morning, and you were in the cafeteria with Aeri and Yunjin, eating the fresh lunch they got. As you guys ate in peace, Haechi came up to you guys and sat at the table. “Hey, pretty,” she says as you chew your food, and she uses your finger to tilt your head up.

Your doe eyes stared at her as you chewed with chipmunk-like cheeks, and she found you quite adorable. “Haech, the table is used for eating, not your ass,” you joke, and she laughs. “What are you doing here, though? Don’t you usually eat outside in the morning?” 

“I had to come early to talk to Miss Kim today, so I decided to stop by and ask you guys if you wanna come to our basketball game at Handong University on Friday?” “Sure, what time?” Haechi checks her phone, “At 5 pm.” 

“Do we need tickets though?” Yunjin speaks up, chewing on her food. “Yeah, but don’t worry about it. If you ride with me, you can get the tickets easily and just go in with me.” You nod, “Bet, just text me your plan.”

Haechi takes her leave, and the girls begin staring at you, causing you to look at them in confusion. “What?”

“At this point, you guys should start dating already,” Aeri blurts off, and you almost choke on your food. “I’m not ready for that.” “Not ready for that, or just not with Haechi?” You paused harshly at the statement. No amount of swallowing your saliva could shake that anxious feeling off whenever talking about this question. “I don’t know,” you just roll your eyes.

After breakfast, you had to go to the student council office, still having the role of secretary. Walking into the office, you see the president and vice president talking to Bada. Trying to avoid interaction with the girl, you just walk past her, giving no attention and checking the papers you’d need for this week.

As you skimmed over everything, you began hearing the president's voice to Bada. “I don't want to hear another complaint, Bada. I’ve been doing my best to cover for you so your parents don’t have to hear anything, but this is becoming too much.” Bada huffs at the statement, assuming that you can hear everything. “I’m just saying the paperwork complaints are becoming too much. You can't just leave the school or go home to mess with a girl?” 

Hearing those words had your eyes roll hard, quickly wanting to leave the room with your piles of paper. Bada notices the irritation in your face, quickly wanting to follow you, but is being stopped by the other two students.

“We're telling you, Bada, this should be the last one, or else we will report it.” Bada could care less right now, so as they finish talking to her, she runs out of the office, looking in every direction to see if she can catch up to you. She finds you at the end of the left hallway, and her quick, long legs catch up easily.

You, on the other hand, hear the loud footsteps, letting a strong sigh out. “Y/n?” Just hearing her voice - it had your mind in a frenzy. You missed the soothing sound, and it didn’t help turning around to look at her. Due to the height difference, you were now looking up at the girl, her tense face evident as she looked at you. Bada just stood there, not really thinking about her actions.

“Anything you wanna say?” You practically whispered out. Bada was in awe of you; all she could think about was how good you looked. Your pleated red school skirt was paired with plain knee-high socks, and your white collared button-up tucked in yet slightly see-through made Bada go crazy. You weren’t so innocent yourself as you stared at the girl's luscious full lips, feeling the intensity of her stare. “Again, did you wanna say something?”

For some reason, the sorry that was at the tip of her tongue never came out, “You going to our game this week?”

If you were disappointed in the question, Bada wanted to punch herself in the face. All that build-up and tension led to this? You look at her, questioning her in your head, “Yeah, Haechi invited me so…” the silence was deafening as Bada just stood there, her brain trying to configure what to tell you. “I’ll just get going now,” you take your leave, not letting Bada get herself together.

The entire day, you found the interaction so odd. You believed your first encounter with Bada would’ve been filled with anger and raging tears, yet the two of you stood in the middle of that hallway like a deer in headlights. You shake the feeling off and just go about your busy day.

As time flew by, it was already Friday, and you were currently in Haechi’s car, sitting in the passenger seat, while your two best friends sat in the back. As Haechi drove, her hands stayed clasped on your bare thigh, as your skirt didn’t cover much. Not minding the touch, you just kept talking to the girls in the back. “You think there’s gonna be any cuties there?” Aeri questions as she applies her gloss. “I wouldn’t doubt it. Handong is known for their fine-ass students, you know,” Yunjin said with a shrug, and you giggled. “I’ve heard a lot of students there get cast as models,” you share, and Haechi looks at you suspiciously. 

“You seem excited to see them?” Haechi states, trying to hide her jealousy, yet you read her like an open book. “Why wouldn’t I be? I’m sure I’ll see some cuties there,” you tease, leaning back on the chair. Expecting a laugh from the tall girl, you were surprised to feel her grip tighten around your thigh as it slowly raised higher, laying right under the fabric of your skirt. Your body tenses at the feeling.

“Am I not enough?” Her voice sounded so innocent, yet had a daring tone lying underneath, and you could clearly tell. Now, what were you supposed to respond to that? You stare at her, shocked at the question, and when she takes a peek at you, she chuckles at your reaction. “I’m kidding, Y/n-nie, don’t stress out too much.”

The car ride became silent between the two of you while the two girls in the back kept chatting. Once you make it to the school, Aeri looks around, a bit disgusted at the sight of the school. “Is this school small, or is it just me?” “Our school’s just really big,” you tell her, laughing as she silently judges the place. “Let’s go in through the back?” Haechi announces as her duffel hangs on her shoulder. She led the three of you through the back, passing by the other girls of her team.

“We don’t have to buy any tickets?” You asked, but before you can get a response, you hear a yelp from Aeri. You turn around and see Yunjin helping the shorter girl up as they face a tall group of girls. Their uniforms were forest green and orange in color. As they were unfamiliar to you, you were a bit cautious about what was about to happen, especially knowing Aeri’s fiery attitude. 

“Can you look where you're walking?” The short girl’s voice was full of pure irritation. “My bad, shorty, it was just an accident. I didn’t see you,” you heard a deep tone, cockiness dripping from the words. “I- I’m sorry about my teammate. They just get a bit excited when playing on game day.” A taller girl from the back speaks up, and Aeri is about to go off. “Excited? What a fuck-”

Before she could continue, you stepped in, shutting her mouth with a simple shush from your lips, “Relax yourself, Aeri.” You face the unfamiliar team and bow, “Good luck on your game,” just keep it at that, taking the girl's wrist, trying to pull them away. “Wait, aren’t you a pretty little thing? I’ve never seen you here at Handong. Don’t tell me-“

“It obviously means she goes to Yunae University, idiot. So stop harassing the girl.” Another unknown voice speaks out; the rich tone makes your ears ring a little. You see a tall, attractive girl with raven hair walking forward, bowing to you. “I want to apologize for anything Aisha has said to you.” You smile at the leader-like gesture, “It’s alright. Your number 5 over here did her best to help.” The way you smiled had the tall girl's heart fluttering. There was just something about tall girls like you, huh? She gives a genuine grin, cat-like eyes softening at you, “Yel does her best in situations like this. I’m Doyeon, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, Doyeon-nim. I’m Y/n from Yunae.”

Her eyes travel from your cute grin down to the stylish outfit. “You know I don’t usually condone Aisha and her words, but I must agree. You are a pretty little thing.”

You couldn’t deny feeling intimidated at the moment, feeling like a kitten being placed in a den full of preying lions. Despite having Yunjin and Aeri by your side, the tall girls towering over you had you feeling powerless. As the Handong basketball captain was about to continue, you felt a presence looming behind you, which felt suffocating. You peeked over your left shoulder, seeing Haechi’s familiar black bomber jacket.

To your right, however, was an unfamiliar outfit. Yet you sure did recognize the scent of her perfume. If it wasn't for the famous Bada Lee and her impeccable timing. “You two have to go change,” you tell them, patting their shoulders with the knuckles of your hands. You weren’t expecting them to move at your words, and you were completely correct. You don’t know why you ended up in a war of ‘who has the most rizz,’ but you weren’t super happy about it.

It was an ego booster, but you concluded that you weren’t built for the drama-filled life. Yet every time you tried to better yourself and stray away, it seemed to follow you around. “If it isn't the famous captains of Yunae,” Aisha’s cocky tone comes out again, and you feel the irritation of both captains bouncing off each other. Both Yunae captains were heated for different reasons. Haechi knew that you’d probably get hit on by someone, which was reasonable since you are a fine-ass woman, but Aisha’s approach ticked her off.

Bada, on the other hand, was familiar with Miss Kim Doyeon. Having gone to the same schools for many years, the two were basically competitors in school. Yes, Bada lacked in grades, but so did Doyeon. In every other aspect, they were quite even. The only main difference was Doyeon being more feminine, but that didn't change much. She and Bada were exactly the same, and she knew that not only meant trouble for you but for her as well.

Realistically, Bada didn’t know if her old pal changed, but safe to say she wasn’t about to take any chances, especially with you involved.

“Haven’t seen you in a while, Lee. Life’s been treating ya’ well?” Doyeon’s subtle teasing doesn't go over Bada’s head. Doyeon could read Bada like an open book, knowing how to annoy the girls with even a simple glance. And with her AND Haechi standing behind you, the situation was clearly all over the place for you. “You can say that,” Bada gives a faux smile as she secretly takes your hand in hers, tugging you closer to her direction.

You were starting to get uncomfortable with the tension that you just let her, not wanting to deal with this shit anymore. Haechi notices the close proximity between you two, and her brows furrow, the waves of confusion, jealousy, and anger mixing together. “Let’s just go, guys. I’m sure your team is waiting for you.”

You tell the two tall girls, patting their backs in the visitor locker room direction. The two players wanted to talk to you, but your best friends pulled you to the bleachers, taking a seat so you could talk about what just happened. “Now, what the actual fuck was that?” You shrug at Aeri, “You are the reason I was a part of that in the first place.” “To me, it seems like you had five hot girls crowding all over you,” Yunjin states bluntly with a smirk. You scoff at them, leaving the conversation at that since you were over the entire thing already.

After 10 minutes, the Yunae team starts pulling out onto the court, Haechi and Bada being the last ones. With their uniforms on, the girls were decked out in black and white with little details of light blue due to them playing at another school instead of their primarily light blue uniform. The girls begin warm-ups with Bada wearing her number 22 and Haechi wearing her 29.

As you chatted away with Yunjin, Aeri sat there on her phone, as she wasn't really interested in sports. The game began, and within the time span of 15 minutes, so much had happened. The current score was 34 - 38, with Yunae leading. The opposing team's players couldn't resist the temptation to flirt and vie for your attention. The little winks sent your way, kissy faces, even Yel, being the shy player of Handong, sent seductive eyes your way every now and then. They made their intentions clear, attempting to catch your eye throughout the game.

Haechi and Bada quickly picked up on the advances made by the opposing team. Their competitive spirits were inflamed, and they decided to take matters into their own hands. 

As the game progressed, Haechi couldn't help but feel resentment, exchanging a knowing glance with Bada, who shared a similar expression to her. The co-captain leaned in closer to the tall girl, her voice filled with playful mischief. 

"Looks like they're not just playing for points, are they? Should we give them a taste of their own medicine?" Haechi whispered to the girl, and Bada, always up for some friendly competition, grinned mischievously and nodded in agreement. "Absolutely. Let's make this game even more interesting."

Yunjin, who had been chatting with you about the team dynamics, noticed the sudden shift in Haechi and Bada's strategy. The two felt more aggressive on the court, and you couldn’t help but notice Haechi’s improvement while playing. Her speed had become evidently quicker while swiftly moving through the other team, being quite in sync with Bada.

You remembered Bada being the best player on their team by far. Yet months later, here Haechi was, being on par with the passionate player. As the opposing team continued to flirt and vie for your attention, Haechi and Bada began taunting their opponents in a playful yet competitive manner. They showcased their skills, trying to outshine their rivals and draw your attention. The game took on a new level of intensity as the players on both teams, fueled by a desire to impress you, pushed themselves to the limit. The flirting had turned into a friendly rivalry, and you couldn't help but find the entire situation amusing as you watched the game unfold.

At halftime, the opposing players started playing rough against the Yunae girls. They were shoving and elbowing, and fouls were getting called left and right. You looked on, serious, as you saw this, thinking they were more interested in fighting at this point than playing the game.

Tensions escalated as one of the opposing players commented disrespectfully about you. “I’m sure your little girlfriend over would be a nice trophy to win. She’d suit Handong students better, you know? Maybe Doyeon can get her after this.” Both Haechi and Bada reacted instantly, shoving the offender and fiercely protecting you and your image. "Hey, watch your mouth! Show some respect!" Haechi yells, but Bada can’t keep her cool, especially after seeing the smirk on Doyeon’s face after the comment, "Keep that nasty shit off the court, and stop involving her!" 

The confrontation quickly spiraled into a small brawl during the game. After one final push from Haechi, Aisha seemed to reach her limit and threw a powerful punch at the opposing girls. You stood up, surprised by her action. Aisha was supposed to be the co-captain of Handong, but she was having a hard time controlling her emotions during the game.

"Protect Bada and Haechi-unnie!"

"No one disrespects Doyeon!"

The gym echoed with shouts and chaos as the brawl intensified, leaving you and your friends caught in the middle of a heated showdown. In the midst of the chaos, punches were thrown, and Bada and Haechi found themselves on the receiving end of blows. Despite the chaos around you, your immediate concern was Haechi. “Haech!” Your voice was loud and abrupt, running over to her side as you kneeled, touching her face in concern as you saw the bruise slowly forming. The tall girl whimpers in pain as she leans on her elbows, trying to sit up, yet has difficulty due to blows to the stomach.

Your worry and care were evident as you rushed to her side, tending to her injuries and offering comfort. Bada watched from the sidelines, growing even more furious than she had been before. She couldn't help but feel a pang of bitterness as she saw your concern and attention directed solely towards Haechi. It was a stark reminder of the divide that had grown between you and Bada, a divide she knew she deserved, given her past actions. You notice Bada’s dramatic exit out of the infirmary, heavy footsteps and sighs could be heard. 

As you sat next to a pained Haechi, you couldn’t help but feel bad for the girl who had no one taking care of her.

Well, there you go again, being too kind to the wrong people. Just couldn’t help yourself huh?

Amidst the demanding next three weeks of student council duties that had overwhelmed your time as secretary, Haechi graciously respected your need for space. While you tackled your responsibilities, she maintained a continuous presence by sending supportive text messages throughout the day.

In these rare moments when rest briefly graced your hectic schedule, Bada seized the opportunity to approach you in your newest hang-out spot, the school garden. She wanted to at least try to rebuild that trust, especially after the petty fight in the game last week. Bada felt that in your eyes, she was now the most immature person in the world, yet she was unaware that Haechi had explained to you, the teasing, the comments made about you, the little bond they made, literally everything. 

Everything except the past of Bada and Doyeon, which even Haechi had no idea about.

Bada envisioned a mature conversation with you, but as she drew closer, the emotions steamed beneath the surface began to surge forward.

Bada's voice quivered slightly as she spoke, a sense of plea in her voice. "Hey," she began, her eyes searching your face for any sign of acknowledgment. "Can we talk?"

You looked up from your work, meeting Bada's gaze. Your expression showed subtle uncertainty, though you were open to hearing her out. "Um, sure." You shifted to the left, creating space for her to sit. Bada took a seat, her head resting in her hands, dreading the conversation that lay ahead. Still, she knew she needed to ask for forgiveness at some point, so she might as well do it now.

Bada nodded earnestly, her voice trembling as she began, "I know I messed up." Her words were filled with remorse, but you scoffed softly.

"Saying you messed up is putting it lightly," you responded, your tone tinged with disappointment and irritation. "You made a bet on me, Bada. I'm not some object," you said, your voice wavering slightly. "I appreciate you trying to apologize, but I'm not sure I can forgive you." A trembling sigh escaped from Bada's lips. "I just wanted to talk to you about it."

You took a moment to think, aware that you often took the high road in situations like this. However, you were uncertain about the right decision at this particular moment. “I’m an insecure fuck who has no one,” Bada says, chuckling at herself. “I’m pathetic.”

You fix your gaze on her, annoyance and displeasure evident in every word. "You have no right to say that," you seethe, your voice quivering with anger, and Bada begins to feel cornered. Emotions swirl within you, and your voice trembles with the weight of your words. "You had me," you confess, tears welling up as frustration gnaws at your resolve. "I tried my best to be there for you, even though we hadn't known each other for that long. I cared."

The floodgates open, and you struggle to maintain your composure, a solitary tear slipping down your cheek. "You just couldn't let go of that player image, could you?" Your voice trembles with a mix of sadness and resentment. "You just had to string me along." The rawness of the moment hangs heavily in the air, a heartbreaking confrontation filled with disappointment and sorrow.

Bada couldn’t even look at you, it was as though you had become her kryptonite. Just capable of melting her defenses with a single glance. All she thought was, ‘You're a bad person. This is your karma.’

“I know,” Bada says silently, feeling a tear wetting her cheek, and she uses her sleeve to calm herself. “I’m the loser who let an amazing girl go,” Bada says, and she feels her disappointment again. Bada's breathing was becoming staggered, almost hyperventilating. With this happening before, you rest your hand on her back, rubbing in circles. “Breath, Bada. In through the nose, out through the mouth.” You stare at her face, which flushes red as she struggles to breathe. You knew that Bada felt bad, Haechi even telling you how upset she was when you left.

You just never knew the extent of it until now. So seeing this - a mentally broken Bada in front of you, had you in distress. You couldn’t help but hug the crying girl, and like months ago, you had her calming down just from your touch. “If you put in effort, I think I can try forgiving you,” you mumbled as her head nuzzled into your neck, trying to end the stress completely.

So, in the following days, Bada did try. The girl did everything she possibly could. Bada's acts of kindness showed her silent mission to seek your forgiveness. She understood the seriousness of her actions and was determined to make amends. Her gestures of kindness were sincere and subtle, reflecting her genuine remorse.

Every morning for the past week, you found a cup of freshly brewed coffee waiting for you at your desk in the student council office. The aroma was always comforting, and the warmth of the gesture touched your heart as you got used to the strong scent. Bada even noticed your heavy workload and would discreetly carry your bag whenever your hands were full of books or papers. She made it seem effortless, ensuring your burden felt lighter.

You even receive an unexpected lunch from Bada occasionally. The meal would be carefully packed and contain your favorite dishes - which she pestered you for, a thoughtful gesture that was impossible to ignore. On the lunches, you'd find apologetic notes tucked into your textbooks or slipped under your door. Bada expressed her regret and longing for your forgiveness in these handwritten messages. You were bombarded with all this and were surprised at her persistent and dedicated efforts.

As Bada demonstrated her genuine remorse through these acts of kindness, a gradual shift in your perception began to take shape. It wasn't an overnight transformation, but her consistent efforts and heartfelt gestures couldn't be denied. You reflected on the possibility of forgiveness, and your heart slowly began to open to the idea of at least being friends again.

Meanwhile, all this is happening, and Haechi has become more aware, remaining wary of the situation. She knew the extent of Bada's genuine feelings for you, which had only intensified during your time apart. Haechi had seen firsthand how you had affected Bada, and she couldn't shake the feeling that she might be losing you. Haechi can’t deny she’s taken a liking to you over the months, but she felt like she couldn’t compete with that at all. Her insecurities and fears bubbled beneath the surface as she observed your interactions with Bada. Yet she knew to accept defeat, knowing you weren’t necessarily over the tall captain either.

In Haechi’s mind, even just for a little while, she wanted to have you all to herself. You put her at ease, made her a better person, and overall made her feel loved. But that’s the same way Bada felt, maybe to the extreme even. Her worries got even worse when you and Bada had to work on an English assignment together, having to write up a script for a play in the next two weeks.

That’s when Haechi finally confided in you, her voice tinged with a hint of vulnerability. "I can't help but feel a bit uneasy, you know. I've seen how much you mean to Bada, and it's hard not to worry about what might happen between you two." You nodded, understanding her concerns. "I get it, Haechi. But we just have to get through this project then it’ll be back to normal."

She sighed, her worries still lingering and you couldn’t help but beat yourself up mentally. The both of you knew you were lying, to her and yourself. As the days passed, the situation became increasingly complicated, but your open conversation with Haechi was a small step toward easing her concerns and maintaining the balance in your relationship.

During the second week of the project, you and Bada unexpectedly hit a bump in the road. 

In the midst of your project work, emotions that had been simmering beneath the surface finally boiled over. The two of you sat in her bedroom that day, working on your laptops and as you stayed focused with your large adorable glasses on, she couldn’t help but think how irresistible you looked.

Bada had kept staring, and you felt the tension steadily increasing, fueled by unresolved feelings and a shared history that couldn't be ignored. As the two of you worked side by side, the atmosphere grew increasingly charged. 

You both leaned over a table, discussing project details, your eyes locked onto each other's.

“You’re gorgeous Y/n,” Bada could only whisper, being hypnotized by your puppy-like eyes as you stared at the girl. After the past two weeks, the never-ending interactions and genuine drive to be in your life were beginning to affect your heart in the same way it did before.

Bada couldn’t help herself, you just looked so tempting.

In that moment, the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the chemistry between you. The air crackled with tension as you both leaned in, drawn together. Your lips met in a heartfelt kiss, that felt like a culmination of all the emotions building between you. It was a kiss filled with longing, desire, and the weight of unspoken words. As your mouths moved in sync, the world around you ceased to exist, and you were consumed by the intoxicating sensation of being so close to someone you had missed for so long.

Each touch, each caress, conveyed a depth of emotion that words could never capture. It was a kiss born from a complex mixture of attraction, regret, and the undeniable connection that had always existed between you. At that moment, the lines between friendship and love seemed more blurred, and you were both swept away by the intensity of each other's lips.

The tension and unresolved emotions that had been building between you erupted in a passionate and heated kiss. The kiss quickly escalated into a fervent make-out, leaving both of you breathless and confused in the aftermath.

As you pulled away from each other, your minds were left in turmoil, struggling to make sense of the unexpected turn of events. The lines between friendship, attraction, and unresolved feelings had become blurred, and the path forward was uncertain. “I think I should go,” you say, slipping out of her grasp quickly, and leaving her home even with Bada’s voice telling you not to. You just walked and walked, your mind becoming scrambled more by the minute.

What the fuck were you suppose to do now?

When you found yourself in school the next day, you sat next to Yunjin and Aeri who spoke to each other, while your mind spaced off. The past few days were blurring together, and you were having a hard time keeping up with the two taller girls.

Haechi, ever perceptive, noticed the turmoil in your thoughts but she understood that it was not the right time to press you for an explanation or to make you feel any more overwhelmed. Instead, she decided that taking you out for fun would be a welcome distraction.

"Hey," Haechi said with a warm smile, gently taking your hand. "I can tell you've got a lot on your mind. How about we take a break from all this and have a bit of fun?" You nodded, grateful for the offer of an escape. "Yeah, that sounds nice."

Haechi whisked you away after school to a vibrant carnival, where the colorful lights and joyful atmosphere immediately began to work their magic. You both indulged in the various attractions and games, with Haechi displaying impressive skills in winning you prizes, all while sharing laughter and enjoying thrilling rides. The carnival food was a guilty pleasure, and you both indulged in cotton candy, popcorn, and all the delicious treats it had to offer.

As you prepared to part ways with Haechi, you couldn't help but express your gratitude. "Haechi, tonight was amazing. Thanks for taking my mind off everything. It means a lot." Haechi smiled warmly, her eyes reflecting genuine care. "I'm glad you had a good time. We all need a break sometimes, especially from the chaos of life."

Her unexpected affectionate peck on your cheek left you momentarily flustered. You stammered, "Oh, um... thanks." She chuckled, understanding the mixture of emotions you were going through. "Take your time to sort things out, okay? I'm here for you, whatever you need." With her reassuring words lingering in your mind, you continued your journey home, your thoughts in disarray. Questions swirled within you, and you couldn't help but wonder aloud, "What do I really feel? Is it Haechi or Bada who has my heart?"

The carnival had indeed offered a temporary escape from your complicated emotions, but it hadn't provided the answers you desired. Your feelings remained a complex web of affection and uncertainty, and you knew that the path ahead held many more twists and turns.

The confusion lingered as you continued working on the project with Bada. She extended an invitation to dinner after one of your study sessions, choosing a simple fast-food place where the atmosphere felt comfortable and familiar. The dimly lit diner, with its soft music playing in the background, provided a setting where conversations could be had.

As you both sat down with your meal, Bada took a deep breath, her eyes revealing a mixture of nervousness and determination. "There's something I need to say," she began, her voice earnest.

You nodded, urging her to continue. "Sure, go ahead."

Bada decided to lay everything on the table, her words filled with raw honesty. She opened up about her struggles, regrets, and the turmoil she had experienced during the time you were apart. "I want you to know that I haven’t been the best version of myself, especially after you left," she admitted, her gaze fixed on you. "I did some things that I'm not proud of, and I hurt you. I know that."

Her words hung in the air, and you could see the pain in her eyes. She continued, "I couldn't accept that you were gone, and I resorted to unhealthy ways to feel better. I was ashamed of myself, and I regret how I treated you." Her voice wavered, but she pushed forward. "I need you to know that I'm genuinely sorry for my actions. I wish I could take back what I did, but I can't. All I can do now is try to make things right."

The sincerity in Bada's words was strong, and it left you with a mix of emotions. You felt her honesty and wondered how to respond to her heartfelt confession. Yet she doesn’t rush you, and you appreciate it as you need to figure out this Haechi situation first.

So the next day in school, you built up the courage to talk to her during lunch. Pulling her up to the rooftop of the school, you breathed in the fresh air, trying to calm the nerves that began to course through your veins. Haechi, ever perceptive, noticed the changes in Bada's demeanor and your complex emotions.  She began with empathy, "I've seen the efforts Bada has been making to make amends, and I can tell that there are still feelings between you two."

You nodded, acknowledging the truth in her words. "Yeah." Her words were sweet but you felt more disgusted with yourself by the minute, it felt like you playing with her heart even if those weren’t your intentions. She gave you a reassuring smile, her eyes filled with understanding. "I want you to know that I respect your wishes and choices. I'm not here to pressure you or to make things more complicated. What matters most is your happiness."

That's when tears began to well in your eyes. You were certain you didn’t deserve her. "Haechi, I appreciate your understanding. It's just that everything feels so complicated right now." She gently squeezed your hand. "I don’t think it's THAT complicated Y/n. Just know that I'm here to support you, no matter what you decide."

The weight of the conversation hung in the air as you grappled with your feelings and the choices ahead. Haechi's understanding and support were a source of comfort, but the path you had to navigate remained uncertain and emotionally charged. You couldn't shake the guilt that had been creeping in, eating at you for using Haechi as a distraction from the stress and turmoil that Bada had brought into your life. You carried the weight of your actions with a heavy heart, and it was hard to look Haechi in the eye.

The silence between you was felt comforting but anxiety-inducing at the same time. It was Haechi who decided to break the tension. She reached out and gently touched your hand again, her voice delicate and understanding. "You may be the smartest girl in school, Y/n, but you're also human. You can't help who you fall for."

Her words carried a weight that resonated deeply within you. It was a bittersweet realization, one that tugged at your heartstrings. Haechi delivered it with a sad smile, acknowledging the complexity of your emotions. The guilt still lingered, but Haechi's understanding and support were a source of solace in the midst of your emotional turmoil.

That’s when Bada came into mind, and you smile a little at the thought of her pretty face. “You should go tell her.” You stare at Haechi like she grew three heads, and she laughs. “Why wait? The girl was beating herself up over you, I think it’s time to give her what she’s been wanting.” Her tone joked but you knew she was serious, so you impulsively got up and ran through the school, bumping into so many students in the process as you make your way to the cafeteria, knowing Bada and her friends would be there.

Once you see the oreo-haired girl sitting at their lunch table, you quickly drag her out to the school garden. Bada couldn’t even comprehend what was happening right now, just feeling the strong force drag her wrist.

When the two of you stop, she looks at you, a bit dizzy due to the dragging. “Y/n? Are you okay?” Bada asks, trying to snap herself out of the daze you put her in making you chuckle. “I’m sorry about dragging you all the way out here. But I just had to tell you now.”

“Tell me what?”

“That no matter what happened 6 months ago, I’ll still love your dumbass,” you say with a smile and Bada’s eyes go wide. A stupid grin forms on her face as she pulls you into a warm bearing hug. “I think I’ve finally been healed,” she jokes and you pull away, slapping her forehead as she laughs. Once she settles down, she softly touches your cheeks, giving you a loving kiss. You smile, and the thought of the two of you officially being together circulates in your brain. 

As she rests her forehead on yours, her gaze notices your goofy smile. “Why are you smiling like that?” She asks with a laugh, adoring the look on your face. “Would you wanna be mine?” The abrupt question had Bada pause, an amused chuckle left her lips, “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“Oh, just answer the damn question,” you tell her as you roll her eyes. Your irritated reaction makes Bada smile again, pulling you into a strong embrace and she kisses the temple of your head, “Of course I’d love to be yours.” 

The two of you stare at the beautiful flowers, and Bada pulls away, cheesing again. “What now?”

“The top student’s officially mine.”

“Oh shut up,” you say with a soft giggle leaving your lips as you stare at your, finally, girlfriend.

Tag list (OPEN): @chipswsauce @nimixe @yooqui @eeeetaetterswife @efyyylee @froufrousnowman @amararosesblog @ssc7514 @kayascar @mrsdacherry @angel-hyuckie @letthemagicc @linda-botello @hyynee @only-minghaos @noraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa @sun-nyy @tikitsune @xiakiyama @v2br33zyy

[narkissistikos]

What could the golden boy of the camp possibly want? Maybe something to love? Something that could be touched? Just something other than the empty hopes, Luke had been holding onto since his childhood.

In reality he just wanted one thing that would make life worth living. Something that wouldn’t make him dread the tomorrows. Just something he could look forward to every night.

He knew they were empty hopes, but when he fell for you, gods, suddenly, everything felt better in a sense. Suddenly Luke wasn’t dreading waking up every day, or going to sleep at night. No never mind, he still didn’t like that. Those nightmares? Nah, he could live without them. But you, no. Not you.

He knew that the chances that you felt the same as him were low. No matter how much anyone said how good he looked, or how talented he was. He knew that you deserved better.

But Luke finally had something he could hope for, and he wasn’t going to let that go. No matter how much he knew that it was never going to happen, you would still be his first hope.

But being realistic isn’t helping. He’s falling. Hard and fast. And the fact that you’re nice to him doesn’t help either. I mean if you were either, mean or scary, in a literal sense, it would have been easy for him to not fall for you. But you’re not. You’re nice. And sweet. And friendly. And you smell good.

Like seriously what is it with that? I’m willing to bet everything that he’s addicted to your scent. He’s convinced you don’t need perfume. He’s not letting that scent fade away from his life.

He knows he’s not that bad, like a little bit, but not too much. But in front of you? He’s like a tiny little flower and you’re the whole spring garden. Luke could never be worth you…right?

For so long he had been looking for something worth hoping for, and now he’s found it. (And honestly its something both me and Luke have in common, having a crush makes us really happy)

And loving you, for Luke, is walking through the camp at night. Knowing that the harpies could get him, but a moment of peace was worth that. That feeling was similar to looking for you around camp throughout the day. He knew nothing would make him happier in the whole day other than that. But he also knew that his siblings would tease him relentlessly for looking for you like a lost puppy.

After a whole lifetime of feeling like he wasn’t finding his place anywhere, that he should be alone, and yet, he felt like having someone to call his own. Someone who would just understand him. Who would listen. And he found that in you.

Granted, the way to two of you worked wasn’t exactly…usual, per se. Who would think the two of you are together, if they saw you trying to strangle Luke for eating your cookie? But they believed that the two of you really loved each other when they saw you rambling about something, while Luke intently listened. But whether he was listening or distracted by how animated you look is still a question I have.

Tell him you love him! Please. I’m begging. He always feels like you deserve better, but he’s still gonna be selfish and keep being yours until you leave, (or if you leave in this case).

Like he is so insanely in love with everything about you.

Your eyes.

Your hair

Your smile

Your hands

Your voice

Your laugh

Your silly little happy dances

The way you eat your favourite food

How you ramble about topics you love.

And how could he not. How could he not love you? It feels impossible when everything in his life feels lighter with you.

How he’s grateful for everything that happened in his life that lead up to meeting you, because without all of that he wouldn’t have you right now.

He’d be a fool not to love you.

But honestly, whether you loved him or not, he just hopes for one thing. That you don’t ever change.

That your smile never drops.

That you never stop being so kind.

That your scent always stays near him.

(And also secretly that you keep loving him like that, but you don’t need to know that just yet)