#dissociatedchef

[dissociatedchef]

Zucchini Muffins

Zucchini Muffins

(Makes about 14-18, depending on tin size)

[inspired by: http://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/zucchini_muffins/]

changes are denoted by * following the ingredient

Ingredients:

Necessary:

4 Small/Medium Zucchini Squash, grated

2/3 cup liquid fat (Vegetable oil)

1 & 1/3 cups sugar (White sugar)

2 large eggs, beaten

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

2 teaspoons baking soda

Salt to taste (Pink Himalayan Salt)

3 cups flour (All Purpose White)

1 teaspoon cinnamon*

1 teaspoon ground cloves*

½ teaspoon nutmeg

an indeterminate amount of finely shredded unsweetened coconut* (sorry, I just dumped about ½ a cup if I had to guess? Or a fistful. Not sure)

Optional additions (NOTE: this will increase output, and you may need more liquid ingredients):

Walnuts: shelled, quartered and dry toasted before use in pan

Pumpkin Seeds: shelled (can be bought this way), toasted before use

Sunflower Seeds: shelled and dry roasted in pan before use

Carrot: peeled and grated before addition

Cranberries: dried fruit is best, but you can do you

Honey: yes, as an addition.

Brown sugar or Streusel mix: top the muffins for a crunchy caramel top or a crumbly coffee cake top!

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350° F (175° C) so it'll be nice and toasty for when you're ready. 

Take your zucchini (and carrots if you so choose to add them) and grate them on the medium sized box on a traditional box grater if you've got it. Not the very large one, and not the extremely fine. Limber up ahead of time, and watch your fingers. If you've got a finger guard or cut glove, now is the time to test it out! I didn't personally use a food processor, but any mid-sized grate setting would be fine.

Take your shreds and toss them into a mesh colander/cheesecloth/very clean dish cloth meant for this purpose (have any that are balding?) and WRING those suckers out! They have so much liquid in them, it's super unneeded.* This is not in the original recipe, but I found that the ingredients I used gave me plenty of liquid. I didn't get much liquid out, so your mileage may vary. (If you're adding in some more dry things, don't go so hard and leave a bit in to help!)

Take the largest bowl you plan to use, and combine your eggs, sugar and vanilla. I suggest using a balloon whip/wire whisk to get the ingredients well combined and smooth. Take your shreds and liquid fat, in my case it was vegetable oil, and dump it into this bowl. Make sure they're well combined with your eggs, and then clean the whisk off and dump it in your sink. You won't need that anymore, everything from here on out is a bit more delicate and a whole lot more stringy.

Take a mid sized bowl and add your flour, baking soda, nutmeg, cinnamon, cloves and salt. Use a rubber spatula to mix these together well, then add gradually to your zucchini-egg mix. Be careful not to mix too much, just enough to combine the wet and dry ingredients. At this point, you can add any other goodies you'd like. This is where I made the split decision to throw in a random amount of fine coconut shreds.*

Using whatever you'd like to coat your muffin tins (medium-large sized, preferably thick dark metal), add paper cups and grab your mix and get to dividing! These don't rise a whole lot usually, but a bit, so feel free to fill them just about to the brim of the tin. Once done, they're set for the oven (or additional topping prior to that, and then oven) and they'll cook for 20-25 min give or take. If you have thin bottomed muffin tins, put it on a sheet tray/cookie tray in the oven to keep your bottoms from burning. It's awful and just sad when it happens, as I found out with my smaller tin.

Your muffins are done when a toothpick...fork...knife...bamboo skewer, whatever you've got, goes into the middle of your muffin and comes back just about clean. It might catch a bit but should not be WET or DOUGHY. Take them out, let them rest in the tin for about 5-10 minutes, and fully cool on some sort of rack outside the tin. Don't forget to take the paper off if you used paper cups!

These are super dense, but pretty darn good, and they freeze well so don't be afraid to bag a few up and freeze them. Just remember to date them and get as much air out as possible, and you'll thank past you if you take the paper off ahead of time.

This method will probably do for any other similar muffin, and any other baked good follows the testing method. “It's done when it's done”!

[dissociatedchef]

Seafood Flavored Mushroom Rice Bowl with Leafy Greens and Broccoli

(Serves a hungry 2 or a peckish 3)

Ingredients:

Sauce:

AT LEAST 1 LARGE Heirloom Tomato - Sliced into chunks

~1 pint Lion’s Mane Mushroom - Sliced into thin 'steaks'

~1 pint Oyster Mushroom - Mined fairly fine

2 Tablespoons Fat [Margarine in this case, but butter works even better if you can have it] PLUS extra based on your taste and desired sauce thickness

1-2 Cloves Garlic - Minced

~1 cup White Wine (Sauvignon Blanc) [Maybe more. Maybe less. You do what's good for you.]

“Splash” of 'Milk' (Lactose Free Milk)

Himalayan Pink Salt

Pepper to taste

The rest of the goods:

Steamed Rice (Amount and type to your desires)

Blanched Broccoli (again, amount to your preference. I did one medium sized head)

Blanched Leafy Greens (A good amount, as it reduces.)

Directions:

If you have a rice maker, prepare your rice as you like with whatever grains. Jasmine rice paired well with this. You will want it ready as this doesn't take very long.

Begin by tapping both mushroom types in an effort to remove loose dirt. If needed, rinse mushrooms gently, carefully removing excess moisture after. Start with Lion's Mane mushrooms, removing any visible 'foot' where it was attached before harvest before slicing into 'steaks'.

In a large saute pan, lay steaks flat and brown until they've stopped releasing water, turning to do so on both sides. Once they've gotten a toasty gold add your fat (in this case, margarine) and allow to simmer until a deeper gold and fragrant. 

During this process, mince the oyster mushrooms (if the pink/red variety) into rather small pieces. To do this, first find the hard 'heart' where all the leafy bits of mushroom connect, and cut that out. This should mostly separate out all the 'petals', but the rest might still be attached. 

It's important to get rid of this part because not only are the stems tough and unpleasant to eat in this way, but often times will have straw or wood from their harvest still attached. [Note: White oyster mushrooms are more delicate and would require larger pieces and less cook time to stay intact] Add into the pan and turn a bit, until they deepen in color. (In this case, from light pink to the peach of cooked Oyster/Clam flesh).

Allow to simmer on low with one to two cloves of minced garlic.

Slice at least one LARGE heirloom tomato (the darker shade towards purple, the better) into small but thick chunks, adding into the pot of mushrooms alongside wine and salt. Be generous with the wine, this particular variety is light but pairs well with the 'seafood' flavor being drawn out from the mushrooms. Too little will allow the tomato and garlic to overpower, and too much will get you sloshed. Use discretion and taste as you go.

Reduce down until the tomatoes are soft and beginning to lose shape a bit, with skins sliding off and juices having turned the liquid in the pan a hearty red. At this point, add a dash of milk to make the sauce just a tad creamy and finish with a dash of pepper. 

[[THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE THERE IS SOMETHING MISSING HERE, MY MEMORY IS BAD]]

Cover the sauce if there is a cover available, or sit on extremely low heat to keep at a constant temperature while you prepare the water for blanching your greens. Make sure to have it salted “like seawater”, adding the salt AFTER the water has reached a rolling boil. Adding salt before hand impedes the water's ability to hit boil faster. Only allow the greens to brighten, not overly soften.

For this, I used Komatsuna (Japanese Mustard Spinach, which is related to napa cabbage and rapini) and Broccoli, though you can change this to your taste or desire. Regular spinach would work fine, though you might miss the slight extra bitterness the Komatsuna has if you can get it. For broccoli, you could swap that out for peas or another slightly crunchy vegetable.

Layer in a bowl or on a plate, rice first, with the sauce on top of the greens. You can choose to have them separate but together the dish tastes like many tomato based seafood dishes served with greens and rice. (Plus, this is supposed to be a rice bowl!)

Obviously, feel free to add any spices where you feel it's needed, and make this your own. Any recipe will taste better when you add your own flair, so don't be afraid to stray from instructions once you've done it right once!