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#disgusting how in love i am with this skin
sodamnradd · 1 day
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“Don’t look,” murmured Theo, twirling a lock of Hermione’s hair around his finger. “But I think he’s jealous.”
“Who?” she whispered, desperately wanting to peek.
“Draco,” he said, caressing her cheek to keep her from checking. “He hasn’t stopped staring at you.”
“In sheer disgust? Draco despises me.”
At work yesterday, he’d insulted her penmanship. Again. Visiting her office for the third day in a row with her memo torn up in scraps, claiming her ‘barbaric handwriting’ was illegible.
“I don’t think so,” he said, leaning in close to make it seem like he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear. She plastered on a dreamy smile and looked up at him through mascara-coated lashes. “It’s a ruse, you know. Him and Astoria. They’re planning a public break up in a week or two. She’s secretly dating a Quidditch player—a half-blood.”
“The horror,” she replied with a feigned gasp. “Is that all you Slytherins do? Scheme and show off?”
“And fall in love with the wrong people,” he replied with a faraway look in his eyes, straightening when a shadow loomed over them. “Alright, mate?”
Malfoy stood at their table, tall and cross. “May I have a word, Granger?”
Theo nudged her ankle under the table and gave her a knowing grin. She shook her head, refusing to buy into his nonsense. Malfoy was probably here to insult her hair or tell her that pink made her look frumpy.
Before she could tell Malfoy to leave them alone, Theo kissed her cheek and told her not to take too long.
She was left with no choice but to follow Malfoy into the rose garden, away from the gossiping crowd. “What is it?” she demanded, prepared for his regular bullshit.
“I saw something earlier that you should know about.” The grave look on his face sparked her interest. “Look. I know I give you a hard time at work now and again—but I’ve come to… to care…” He paused and tried again. “I mean… I think you deserve… not that I…”
“Malfoy,” she said sharply.
He expelled a long breath, then blurted out, “Theo and Potter are fooling around behind your back. I saw them inside earlier.”
She was floored. And then she felt an odd rush of affection for the stormy man standing before her. It had obviously taken a lot to suck up his pride and tell her that. What had he said? Something about caring?
“I’m sorry, Granger.” He hugged her, smushing her face against his warm chest. “Don’t cry. He was probably afraid he’d get caught by his father and used you as a cover up. People do lousy things when they’re desperate. Take it from someone who knows.”
“I’m not crying,” she mumbled, nudging him back. Her heart was racing. “I know about him and Harry. We were faking it so Theo’s father would ease off him. Apparently, dating a Muggle-born witch is slightly less offensive than being gay."
He opened his mouth, then shut it. His cheeks were turning red. It was oddly sweet how he had nothing to say.
“I hear you and Astoria are pulling a similar stunt,” she said in an attempt to make him feel better.
He shrugged; voice strangled. “Family dynamics are fucked out here.”
“Theo says it’s because you all fall in love with the wrong people.” She looked meaningfully into his eyes.
He stared back. “I wouldn’t say ‘wrong’, just...” His gaze was so intense, she felt trapped in it. “…inconvenient.”
“Is that what I am?” she breathed, wondering if Theo was right. Maybe Malfoy wasn’t looking for ways to get under her skin just to be a prick. Maybe he was looking for excuses to get closer to her. “An inconvenience?”
He didn’t verbally respond, but she felt his gaze all over her. The heat emanating off him made her sweat.
She swallowed, overwhelmed. “How long until you and Astoria call it off?”
He tilted his head. “We’re waiting until the Ministry Gala.”
“Maybe Theo and I will split around that time, too,” she suggested, mentally counting down the days and hoping she wasn’t misreading the situation.
His eyelids grew heavy. He licked his lips.
She felt a little drunk with the way he was looking at her.
“Maybe,” she said, stepping closer to fix his tie. He shivered beneath her touch. “You can send me an office memo. Since my handwriting is so offensive.” She tipped her head back, whispering into his ear, “Thank you for telling me about what you saw.”
Hermione left him there speechless, smiling softly to herself as she walked away.
-
Twelve days later, an office memo nose-dived on her desk. She recognized Malfoy’s pristine handwriting, and considered if maybe hers was a bit messy in comparison.
Dinner tonight in Diagon Alley?
The pink memo bloomed into a rose. She lifted it to her nose, enchanted that it smelled like a real one. But more touched that he wanted to take her out publicly.
Pick me up at 7, she wrote, and let the office memo fly.
(847 words, prompt: fake dating for dramione month)
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erabu-san · 1 day
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You are literally French. What would you know about any of this, an issue and drama stirred up by anericans.
Blackwashing exists and is used by bigots that hate white people. Its used to erase the ethnicity of asians just because people dont think they are "poc enough" because of their pale skin. Its used to demonize people with pale skin because its becoming more and more the norm to view anyone with pale skin as evil. That anyone who is "too pale" isnt enough or a human being.
They arent real people, and their skintones are fine as is. You wouldnt go up to, for example an albino or mixed race black/poc person and tell them they arent "dark enough". They dont even need to be special like that to be pale. Some just are pale.
Whether you think there should be more characters that are dark or not is not the issue. Its that you think they wouldnt be/arent good enough as is with pale skin that shows how much of a bigot you are.
Blackwashing is not the progressive act you think it is. Its obvious that your only experience with it is through genshin drama. You obviously know nothing about how much red haired pale characters & asian ones are substituted with black characters. How characters are simply replaced in the name of "diversity". How this forced inclusivity and diversity is just bigots trying to "get revenge" on the white people they hate so much, and to tick off DEI boxes on their little bigoted checklist.
You tell me to educate myself but its actually YOU who needs to be educated.
Many are complaining about sumeru and natlan characters with names similar to gods in cultures of our world that are pale when their inspiration is dark skinned. Claiming they want representation and for it to be accurate, to reflect our world on a 1-1 scale.
Yet these same people will make xiao, zhongli, Ei, and many more asian characters darker " because asians can be dark skinned too". Yet so can mostly dark skinned races be pale.
So why cant you (gen) respect such characters, who are gods and divine beings based on a culture where pale is more beautiful, and gods of such cultures are pale?
There is hypocrisy in everything to do with blackwashing. Its okay when its done to pale characters because in real life black people have been oppressed? But these characters are not real, nor are they a reflection of our reality, as far as we have seen they dont even have racism in this fictional world.
It is one thing to explore a character like with the recent hatsune miku trend, atleast there most people arent going at each other's throats saying black miku is better than japanese miku(as far as i have seen)
Seriously how can you even begin to justify this. And who ever told you that dark skinned characters "scare white people" is an absolute fucking liar trying to justify their own bigotry towards white people.
No black washing IS just as disgusting as whitewashing. Neither should exist, and you shouldn't feed into the stupid circle jerk of bigotry that both of them are.
Aaaah that's what I like ! Yes ! Thank you for telling me your opinion, explaining what is wrong. I absolutely love to learn, and I prefer to read this long text calling me ignorant and explaining why that just a simple text of you saying you are annoyed by a fanart.
Thank you for telling me ! First yes I am french, and indeed my culture has more an european pov. But again, I also grow up as a minority "race" with my parents culture !🙏 in france, i don't look like a french. Well. Still I am aware that it doesn't remove anything from what I said
And I totally agree with you, some are just pale !! It just happens I draw Kinich black because I like it like this. Is Kinich true inspiration are actually pale ? Tell me more, I wish to learn !!
Tbh when you talk abt gods being pale is beautiful, I thought about Nahida. I did research when she were out and yes, I do agree, there is character who are fine as they are.
And because I live in France I also see "dark skin scare white" as a true fact. It happens and it is harmful. 🧍 not only in France tho, in country where pale skin is portrayed as beautiful, people who have tan skin are less represented even if it is the majority. I suppose the contrary happens too !!
"Character are not real" and yet you are annoyed, I guess it is the action of "blackwash" that make you mad, more than "a fictional character w diffent skin tone" tho! My opinion is fiction does affect real world, as do real life affects fiction, and this is something I won't debate on
"They don't have racism in this fictional world" sorry but it does in Sumeru. 🙏 about this one npc she is reject by forest and desert because of them being mixed, desert not being access to book and even Cyno said his scholarship was complicated because he is from desert
If you wish to continue, please send me DM with arguments. I don't know if I would change my mind of not drawing Kinich pale, but I am super interested about what you have to say !! 👍👍
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reidology13 · 2 days
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I tell someone I love them (just as a distraction)
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Spencer Reid x fem famous!reader
Summary: In the depths of his addiction, Spencer finds someone who needs an escape as much as he does.
cw: talk of addiction, allusions to sex (no actual smut), angst no happy ending
Meaningless whispers of ‘I love you’ mumbled between laboured breaths and cold kisses in an apartment that doesn’t feel like mine. The sheen of sweat that coats his body is nearly constant these days, it has nothing to do with physical exertion. The glaze over his hollow eyes is the furthest possible thing from pleasure, although by now he might have his wires crossed. His face is beautiful, and I can see myself marrying it in another life, one where my chest isn’t as hollow as his cheeks. A life where I don’t have to ignore the fresh scars in the crook of his elbow as I pull his shirt off.
I am not in that world, and neither is he, a reality that I cannot grieve because this is what I asked for, what I have been working for since before I can remember. The parties that leave me empty and sick, the performances that start the moment I leave the stage, the new friends who tag along for my name. I love him because he doesn’t care about any of it, if only because he’s too high to care about much at all.
I don’t feel anything when I finish, I’m not sure he does, either. I watch as he disappears from my side, already scrambling to his bag, searching through it until he finds what he needs. He slips into the bathroom, finally taking his chance to feel something after the numbness of the night. He has his escape, he used to be mine. I wonder if one day the chemicals he defiles his veins with will stop calming his ever racing mind, or if I just need a higher dose.
When he comes back, I pull him close to me, dragging him back down into the bedsheets and sweat. It works this time, my skin alight with every electrifying touch as his fingers dance gracefully across my body. His hands shake as they move, a feeling that makes my nerves sing as a lump forms in my throat and my heart sinks to my stomach. He looks up at me with those brown eyes that would be so gorgeous if they held any emotion, anything but that violent hunger for a craving he should have satisfied moments earlier. He can’t up his dose as easily as I can, can’t pull his vice back to bed without the risk of never waking up. He doesn’t bother saying that he loves me this time, we both know it’s not true. Or maybe it is, but there are things he loves much more, and telling me he loves me debases one of the only pure things left in the world. I’m glad he doesn’t try this time.
He holds me afterwards, his trembling body not yet ready to stand up, or maybe he knows that the moment he does he’ll be back inside the bathroom. I turn my head away, and as he buries his face in my shoulder, I pretend I don’t feel the apology he mouths against my glass skin. He runs a hand down my upper arm, his touch tentative and light, scared that I’ll shatter into a million pieces. My heart does. If he knows about the tear that runs down my face, he ignores it, and I’m not surprised. Ignorance is what we’re good at, after all.
When I wake up, he’s gone, slipped into the early morning, or called into the job that he shouldn’t be doing in his condition. I crawl out of my cold, damp sheets, the disgusting aftermath of our night. The sick feeling that perpetually sits in my gut, loosening under him, twisting tighter under the sun of the next day. 
Slowly, I peel back the layers of sticky fabric, watching how they cling to my skin and each other as I force them into the washing machine. I turn it on.
Fresh sheets are laid out on my bed, sheets that haven’t yet witnessed the tornado of us, still clean and untainted by tears and sweat and words that never mean anything. I lay the sheet over the mattress, fighting to wrap it around all four corners as it perpetually escapes one, always sitting just slightly wrong. I place the pillows down carefully, fighting the urge to punch them like I’ve been wanting to punch his face every time he shows up at my door.
I can see myself marrying him in this world, too, getting him the help he needs and staying with him through it all. He would be able to be there for me when I need it, not an escape from, but support through the other parts of my life, a person to love and talk to about the hard things. But I know that is still impossible. One day, he will sober up and disappear, or I will be an uninvited guest at his funeral. There’s no option that ends well for both of us, the best we can do is take it as it happens and ignore everything.
I watch as the last blanket floats down over the bed, carelessly adjusting its corners. It looks exactly the same.
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rags-hexx · 1 year
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bbqhooligan · 7 months
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through all of it, after all of it, ill still be mulling over Bella Swan. unlike other parts of smeyers writing where the glaring issues take the front seat to parts that are well written or interesting, bella remains special to me. genuinely worlds most boring girl, meant to be a mormon self insert but her humanity fleshes out so nicely its hard not to think this is an interesting character who is stuck in a bad premise. i dont know if many fanfics have it in them to do her justice but i be Wondering.
#mypost#bella swan#twilight#kristen stewart as bella swan in 2008 was my first love yknow.#like shes only ''not like the other girls'' because the narrative compares her to ''Bitch Women'' like jessica or rose#shes only ''cringe love triangle thirst trap'' because narrative has jacob playing this disgusting ass role#shes only ending up in this cheesy happy ever after vampirism because the mormon writing#but what of the girl.#if smeyer had been more self aware and less religious we could truly explore that. what OF the girl?#like edward or jacob or vampirism and the plot ALL need huge reworks. their intrigue is weaker than their problems#but with bella... idk am i biased i always just her as a fellow abusive family teen. traumatized. coping mechanisms to hell and back#she isnt depressed -at first- but shes. emotionally frozen. carefully frozen. and shy and self conscious and...#scared in these ways that make me think renee was as strong in her negative feelings as she was with her positive ones#god shes just a. really beaten down girl who looks strong. who longs for a family and escape escape escape ESCAPE ESCAPE#she longs to be precious and loved deeply DEEP enough to penetrate her thick skin deep enough it warms her carefully frozen self#its so sad. how badly she needs assurance. renee sucks. charlie an emotionally constipated divorcee. and a fuckin. MAN.#bella needs edwards intense ''mate'' connection. because shes so alone. she needs to hear she will be ONE persons priority. forever.#and its god its so sad#i looked over some fics. ''bella swan with a back bone'' and ''bella swan is a self insert'' are the ovherwhelming majority#but of the girl... im tearing up thinking about my girl.. its ok bella... it gets better.....#she was just in high school. like sweetheart it will get better it will get better it will get better. god im#tearing up about bella swan in the club tonight. she was just 17. she couldnt have been in the club but should have been.
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pendragora · 9 months
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Might a girl live without any body horrors for just one fucking night
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nimomo-mo · 10 months
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Vent
#im so relieved that the only way you get to percieve me is through curated pictures and videos. that youll never see me in my bad days#or in my ugly clothes#or with horrible skin waking up with a hangover#youll never see my truly bad side#and im happy for that#your empty sweet promises lets me be the prettiest version of myself to you even if im not much to write home about compared to your friends#im perfectly fine with you never learning of my bad habits#never knowing how despicable i look when i cry or how pathetic i am about horror#not knowing how my body looks without posing#not knowing how i snore or how i am messy or how i dissociate staring into space#im happy you never get to see the truly ugly parts of me#even if youve already experienced me breaking down or being extremely attached over text#youll never have to handle that irl#thank god#i love you#your fake affection lets me pretend im better than i am#your many fake promises will never come true and thus you will never be disgusted by me#you wont have the chance to see me as anything but an annoying but averagely pretty person on the internet. im scared of meeting you.#and if you for some odd reason ever end up meeting me. i think it would hurt even more because once you leave youll never come back.#id never see you again. youd be out doing something else experiencing new exciting adventures meeting new gorgeous people#and giving empty promises to other love struck idiots like me. and theyll fall for you just as much. and theyll realise how youll never stay#youre never going to change#youre never going to belong to anyone. to anywhere. youll be a free person that destroys the hearts of us bystanders that you seduce#how am i ever to love someone else when you're this great. who would ever compare. who would even begin to be on your level.#i know youre so out of my league it catches me off guard every time you give me attention.#even if the only attention you give me is sexual.#it always leads to it being sexual.#i guess thats what im being kept around for#i wonder what you feel when you think of me. if you ever tell others about me. if you ever think of me. if i matter#but i know you dont feel anything. i know. im just another friend.
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eilistraeees · 5 days
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I just read a post about "how hard it is being a fat person" and as a fat person I have some thoughts. Yes, I am angry.
The world does not owe you accommodation for being fat. If you cannot fit into airplane seats, that is your issue and frankly your own fault, barring some exceptions, and YOU need to work on that.
If you cannot find clothes your size in a particular store, shop elsewhere. Or order online, idk. I live in a small town (roughly 20k people) and I can find clothes my size in local stores, and I do think, objectively, I am quite big. I have size 50-52 pants (EU size not american) and sometimes even I do not fit into those, I just go to a different store.
The world is much more "fat-friendly" than it was 20 or more years ago as are the people. So shut up.
This post was written in anger honestly, and there might be some room for nuance. I simply have seen posts like this on my dash far too many times. And it simply pisses me off. I once thought the same, I get where this stems from. But the truth is, if you are unhappy that you do not fit in seats or clothes don't fit you, that is a you problem. You can choose to lose weight just as it is a choice to stay the same weight, in most cases.
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macabrevampire · 5 months
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chat i might be mentally ill ( ↖ guy that's suffered tremendously his entire life and is only getting worse)
#txt#long ass vent ahead in tags; read at your own risk <3#being a person who can't function and can't socialize and hasn't been able to find a job is awful :D#i feel like i'm the most worthless scum on earth. why can't i work. i know i'm unsettling and can't talk normally#i want to work; i want to socialize#i want to be human#but everything i say is wrong; everything i do doesn't amount to anything#my ocd and anxiety and depression are fucking killing me daily. the compulsions get worse and i get more depressed#i can't function day-to-day; i struggle to get out of bed#the world is dirty and no matter how much i clean it doesn't get cleaner#i'm in so much fucking pain. it doesn't cease; i wake up and it's always something new. today the headache. tomorrow the stomach ache#next my back hurts almost as if a piano had fallen on it#my legs ache; my wrists writhe#the pain in my chest is unbearable; it feels as if my finger had been twisted unnaturally#dizziness overtakes me; it's hard to breathe; i can't think#the brain fog and dizziness and compulsions are killing me i think#disregard the pain for a moment; every single thing i do is interrupted by the evil voice in my head telling me that if i don't set things-#in the correct order then someone i love dearly will die a most excruciating death and it'll be my fault#how am i supposed to ignore those compulsions?#most of mine are centered around death or the vague ''something bad will happen to x person''#and my skin crawls at the smallest dirty things#and everyone in this house is so fucking dirty. no one cares to clean after themselves which leaves it to me-#and it makes me permanently filthy; my skin writhes i can FEEL the layer of disgusting filth just sitting there and no matter how much-#i wash and wash and wash- it doesn't cease. it's still there. you're still dirty; the shower isn't clean enough; the soap doesn't wash well#enough. i just want it to be over#and the stress from my life is making it worse#i need a job but i'm painfully mentally ill and i don't understand social cues and i'm fucking semi-verbal to boot#< i struggle with speaking. point blank period. no one accommodates those of us who can't or have a hard time speaking#whatever man i have GOT to kill myself. the only option i have
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rowarn · 2 months
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SURPRISE, SURPRISE !
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john "soap" mactavish / reader – 9.3k sale of a lifetime mini series !
tags: smut, developing relationship, virginity for sale trope, protective!soap, virgin!reader, afab!reader, no prns for reader, mean!soap? or maybe just intense!soap, soap is NOT beginner-friendly
cw: loss of virginity, soap's filthy mouth, fingering, multiple orgasms, wet&messy, sloppy blowjob, cum facial, squirting, crying during sex?/dacryphilia, consent check bc johnny is a GOOD MAN, intense heated sex to sex with feelings, cunnilingus, corruption kink if u squint, multiple rounds, sloppy sex tbh
;
It’s not like it’s hard to find someone to sell your virginity to, men come out of the woodwork offering you the money. It’s no problem at all to set up a little meeting and get to know them before you’re whisked away to a bedroom.
At least, that’s how it should be. 
The problem was there seemingly was always something that got in the way. Or rather…someone.
Soap, in fact. 
or.
After continuously getting in the way of your attempts to sell your virginity, you finally let yourself fall into bed with him instead.
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You couldn’t believe you wound up here. You always thought it would happen in some sweet way. A long-time boyfriend or girlfriend, happy and in love. You’d snuggle up afterwards and be told how good you were.
But no, instead you became swamped in debt and ended up on the verge of eviction even though you were living in the cheapest apartment you could find that wasn’t in an area that would get you stabbed for stepping outside. You needed money fast and you had one thing that plenty of perverts would pay for; your virginity. It’s not your most crowning moment in life but as they say, you gotta do what you gotta do. 
At least, that’s what you keep telling yourself so you don’t crumble under the shame of it all. 
When the chair across from you suddenly gets yanked out, feet scraping obnoxiously across the floor, making you nearly jump out of your skin. The man who sits down looks nothing like the picture he sent and you internally groan. He looks much older than you, no doubt in his mid 40’s, balding, and graying hair. You wouldn’t mind an older man if he were a little more…attractive. Sure, maybe that’s a bit shallow of you but fuck, it’s your virginity you’re giving away. You should be allowed to be picky with the man you choose! Under normal circumstances you would be so why not now?
Then again, this isn’t exactly normal circumstances was it?
You pick up the glass of the strongest drink you could handle that you ordered at the bar while waiting and downed it in one deep gulp. You gave the man a very fake smile and he grinned back, the sleazy sight making your stomach turn. 
You were going to need a lot more alcohol. 
The evening turned into night and you’re feeling the effects of the alcohol. Your ‘date’ doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest as you drink, if anything he seems elated. That thought makes you curl your lip in disgust. 
“So,” he starts when you finally lean back in your chair, having had your fill of alcohol for the night, “Shall we move this along? My place or yours?”
“You got the money you promised?” you ask, raising a brow, unsure if you sounded as drunk to him as you did to yourself.
“In my car,” he responds, grin sitting irritatingly lopsided on his ugly face, “Got it all ready for you. After services are rendered, of course.”
Anxiety coils in your stomach at the mention of what you have to do to get the money. It’s a lot of money and that makes your palms sweaty – you need it. You feel like there’s eyes on you from behind, making the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. When you turn to look around, there’s no one paying any attention to you. Everyone in the bar was having a nice time. You wish you were one of them. 
“Let’s get out here,” the man grins, “I am just achin’ to get my hands on you.”
He stands up but you find yourself rooted to your seat. Your entire body feels tense, you can’t find it in yourself to stand up. You don’t want to go with the guy, you decide. Your fight or flight activates with terrifying speed, alerting you of the danger you’re in. Though you’re not exactly sure what danger that is just yet.
“I think…” you start and the guy heaves a big sigh.
“Don’t tell me you’re backin’ out?” he grumbles, not bothering to mask his irritation, “After I came all this way? That’s awfully rude of you.”
“I just don’t think I want to–” he groans, embarrassingly loud.
You feel the eyes of nearby patrons on you and your cheeks burn under the scrutiny. Shame bubbles up inside you at the thought of them finding out what exactly was going on between the two of you. 
“Let’s go,” he snaps, his anger bubbling to the surface as he rounds the table and grabs hold of your arm.
You don’t bother fighting back as he yanks you to your feet, instead leveling him with a fierce glare. You don’t want to make a scene in front of all these people so you plan to let him drag out outside where you can really give him a piece of your mind before hopefully coming back inside and peacefully getting drunk alone.
But a sudden, growling voice has both of you freezing in place, “I don’t think you’re goin’ anywhere.”
Your eyes fall upon a man, standing tall and confidently. He has a mohawk, brilliant blue eyes and handsome features. Upon first glance, you could immediately tell he was in the military based on his posture alone. He was intimidating, broad and well-built.
“Hey, dude, why don't you mind your own fuckin’ business,” your ‘date’ snarled, yanking you harshly towards him.
You felt your eye twitch in irritation but your drunken brain was too slow to react properly. You were still hung up on the appearance of this rather good looking man. 
“This is my business,” the stranger said, Scottish accent thick as he took two big strides over to the both of you, “Why don't you just leave quietly so things don't have to get ugly?” 
Your ‘date’ stares the strange man down for a few seconds, taking a glance at you before kissing his teeth and ripping his hand off of you. 
“You ain't worth this shit,” he huffed, stomping off into the crowd. You could hear the bell over the door ring, announcing his final departure from the scene.
“Well, he was just a dandy fellow,” your rescuer jokes, a crooked grin settling on his face. His shoulders relaxed and he held his hand out, “Name’s Soap. How about I walk you home?” 
“That'd be great,” you responded, feeling your stomach starting to roll as the alcohol settled. You knew you were going to be stuck with your head over the toilet bowl soon and you'd rather be in the comfort of your apartment for that. 
“Let’s get a move on then,” he waved forward for you to lead the way. 
The crisp outside air had you sighing happily. You hadn't realized how hot you were in there but now that the light breeze brushed against your skin, you noticed how you had begun to sweat. 
“So you’re military, huh?” you ask, leading him in the direction of your apartments “Soap.” 
He chuckles, “You caught me.” 
You smile, “It's kind of hard to miss, no offense.” 
“None taken,” he assures, shoving his hands into his jeans pockets, “What were you doin’ with a piece of shite like that? Was he your boyfriend?” 
You sputter, “No! Nothing like that. I just…had a deal with him, that's all. I called it off and he got pissed. I'm sorta pissed at myself. Just missed out on a fuck ton of money.” 
Soap’s brows raise, “What kind of deal?” 
Your drunken brain forgets all about the fact such a deal should be kept quiet. Your mouth opens before you can stop yourself, “My virginity for his money. But I’m not like a prostitute or anything!” 
He holds his hands up as surrender when you get defensive at the shocked look on his face, “You need money that bad?”
“You have no idea,” you sign, pinching the bridge of your nose at the mere thought of your money troubles, “I never do this. You know? I-I mean obviously…with the virginity and all. But-!”
“I’m not judgin’ you,” he assures, “Hard times. But you should be careful. Lot’s of dangerous characters out there.”
“Yeah,” you sigh, shrugging your shoulders as you come to a stop, “This is my place.”
“Right,” he mutters, “Let me give you my number.”
“For what?” you sputter, watching him pull out his wallet.
“Just in case,” he smiles, “I doubt anyone really knows what you’re dealin’ with right? I do. So if you’re ever in any trouble,” he hands you a business card, “Give me a call.”
You take the card and look it over. It’s got his name and military rank but not much else. You raise a brow, “Why do you have a business card on you?”
He chuckles, waving his hand flippantly, “Just ‘cause. I’ll see you around, darlin’.”
“Yeah,” you smile, stowing the card away in your pocket, “Thanks for walking me home, Soap.”
He stands outside of your place, waiting until you’re safely inside and shutting the door. When you peek out the window, you see him walking off in the direction that you had come from. You smile and go about getting ready for bed, grateful that you’re not feeling that awful nauseous pit in your stomach you had earlier.
When you wake up in the morning, you’re still dressed in your clothes and you have no recollection of having laid down the night before. You groan, your head throbbing in your skull as you sit up. 
You stumble your way to the bathroom, grimacing at the sight of yourself in the mirror. You take the time to start the shower and strip yourself, determined to scrub the grime from last night off of your body. 
By the time you step out, you’re feeling like a brand new person. You stretch your arms over your head and work on drying yourself off. Wrapping your towel around your body, gather your clothes in your arms, and trudge back into your bedroom. 
You look through the pockets of your jeans from yesterday, pulling out various coins and candy wrappers that you remember snacking on in the car to ease your nerves. You finally pull out the last thing – the business card Soap had given you last night. 
It all floods back to you, and you find yourself pulling your phone out, opening it to make a new contact under the name Soap.
Sitting on the edge of your bed, still wrapped in your towel, you shoot him a text.
“Hi Soap, remember me? You walked me home last night! I was just wondering if I could take this as a business inquiry?”
You aren’t sure where the burst of confidence came from. Last night, you would have never even thought to ask him such a thing. But the fact your plans fell through last night with that pig of a man, you kind of had no other choice at this point. 
And luckily for you, Soap texted back almost immediately.
“Sure, darlin’. We can consider it a business inquiry.”
Jackpot, you think. Not only is he very good looking and nice – if he has the money, then you can’t think of anyone better to sell your ‘goods’ to. 
He’s perfect.
Turns out, Soap is more than ready to meet up. Not at a bar, you’re thrilled, but at an actual restaurant. It almost feels like a real date!
You have the opportunity to dress yourself up and feel pretty. It feels so much better than meeting up with that guy at the dingy bar. Your nerves are almost non-existent. 
You still have that jittery feeling everyone gets when they’re going to be going out with someone new. 
But this isn’t actually a date, you have to tell yourself, as you get into your car to drive to the restaurant. It’s a meeting.
When you walk in, you’re greeted with the heavenly smell of food and what you can only deduce as something akin to mint. It’s a lovely restaurant, tablecloths and wine glasses everywhere. 
You look around the room before you spot him, sitting at a table in the far back nursing a glass of water. You make your way there, coming to a slow stop in front of the table. He looks up, blue eyes widening at the sight of you before he jumps to his feet. 
“You made it,” he says, a smile growing on his lips. 
He rounds the table and pulls your chair out, gesturing for you to take a seat.
“Thank you,” you say as he pushes you in a bit before returning to his own seat. 
Soap situates his elbows on the table, chin resting on his hands as he gazes across at you. You feel your cheeks burn underneath his intense gaze, not able to gain the courage to look directly at him.
A waiter comes by, depositing a basket of fresh, buttered bread on your table, letting you know he’ll be around in a moment to collect your orders. You offer him a polite smile as he vanishes, acutely aware that Soap is still staring right at you. 
“Why are you…” you clear your throat, finally looking at him. 
“You look lovely,” he says, a smile growing on his face when you become more bashful, “You’re truly breathtaking, has anyone ever told you that before?”
You can feel how hot your cheeks are and you resist the urge to reach up and pat them in an attempt to cool them down. You’re at a loss for words, no clue what to say in response to that. You hadn’t been told anything like that before, actually. Nor has anyone ever looked at you with such infatuated intensity like he is right now. 
Thankfully, the waiter arrives to relieve you of this immense pressure. Pulled from his devoted admiration, Soap orders first before you put your own order in. 
Left alone once again, you and Soap fall into an easy conversation. You’re surprised by how nice it is to talk to him, he’s open and funny. He tells you about his buddies in the military and about how he goes out to drink every weekend with some guy named Kyle and that he thinks his buddy Ghost’s jokes are just the worst abomination on Earth. 
You get so lost in talking to him, you don’t even realize how much time has passed. Your food arrives and the table finally falls quiet. 
You both get lost in eating your meals. Soap finishes his glass of wine and leans back in his seat with a content sigh. When you finish your own plate, you do the same. The chair creaks underneath the shift of weight and your eyes meet his. 
You wait to see if he’ll say something. But he just continues to stare at you, drifting from your eyes and down the rest of your body that’s not hidden by the table. 
“So, should we get out of here?” you finally find yourself asking, burying any embarrassment deep down, “Your place or mine?”
Soap seems to falter suddenly, crooked smile slipping off of his face, “Listen, darlin’...I-I don’t actually want to…you know…”
Your cheeks burn a little and you shrink in on yourself where you sit, “Oh! Well, that’s fine. I-It’s just that you said it was an inquiry so…I assumed.”
Soap shakes his head, reaching across the table to place his hand over yours, “I know. I told you that just so I could see you. I’m just worried about you, darlin’.”
“You want to talk me out of it,” you sigh, leaning back in your seat again, “I appreciate your concern, Soap. But I’m really at the end of my rope here. This is my very last resort, you understand?”
“But you shouldn’t have to-!” you pull your hand out from underneath his and stand.
“I know,” you shrug, “I’m only doing what I can with my circumstances. I appreciate you taking the time to see me and let me know you’re worried. I’ll see you around, okay?”
You leave him behind at the table and make your way back to your car. As you sit, engine idling, the disappointment bubbles up within you. Soap is probably the absolute best you could have gotten in a situation like this. But, it’s clear now that you’re going to have to find a new guy. 
You just hope you don’t walk right into the clawed talons of some unknown serial killer or something. 
The thought sends shivers down your spine as you make your way back home.
So begins the process of finding a new person to get the money from. 
It’s not like it’s hard to find someone to sell your virginity to, men come out of the woodwork offering you the money. It’s no problem at all to set up a little meeting and get to know them before you’re whisked away to a bedroom. 
At least, that’s how it should be. 
The problem was there seemingly was always something that got in the way. Or rather…someone.
Soap, in fact. 
Around every turn, he was there to intercept the meeting you had with a man. 
A terribly boring man named Charles; Soap showed up at the bar you met at. The surprisingly young guy you weren’t even sure had enough money for his own monthly rent, Brandon; Soap was there. Justin, the doctor that lowkey gave you the creeps; Soap was there too. 
Every single time, the Scot would sit himself at the table and run the guy off, leaving you no choice but to go home alone and moneyless. 
You’re getting angrier with every passing day and before you know it, you’re calling him up and asking him to meet you. 
The second you lay your eyes on him, you’re marching right up to him.
“What the hell is your problem, Soap?!” you cry, practically nose to nose with him as you glare.
“Whoa, darlin’,” he holds his hands up in mock surrender, “Don’t know what I did to get you so wound up but-”
“You know exactly what you’ve done!” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest, “Why do you keep getting in my way?”
“That’s a mean thing to say to someone,” he responds lightheartedly. 
But then your glare wipes the smile off of his face and he sighs, running a hand through his mohawk. He stuffs his hands into his pockets, rocking anxiously back and forth on his heels as he seems to think over his next words carefully.
“I’m just lookin’ out for you, darlin’,” he assures, “This…isn't safe, what you’re doin’. You could get into somethin’ real serious. I just…want to make sure you’re safe.”
You deflate and sigh, “I already told you, Soap. I appreciate your concern but…”
Suddenly, he surges forward, big, rough hands cupping your cheeks as he pulls your lips to his. You gasp, hands resting against his chest as you allow yourself to melt into the kiss. 
When he pulls back, he seems almost nervous, “I wanted to kiss you really badly the first night I saw you.”
“So you like me?” you ask softly, not taking your hands off of his chest.
He reaches up, wrapping one of his hands around yours, “I’m afraid so.”
“Soap…” you start but he interrupts you.
“Johnny,” he says, “Call me Johnny.”
“Johnny,” you correct yourself, feeling your cheeks burn at the positively giddy look on his face, “I don’t know if…this…” you gesture between the two of you, “Is a good idea…with what I’m dealing with.”
His brows furrowed and a frown lines his lips. You find yourself wishing you could wipe the solemn look right off his face – it doesn’t suit him, “Just give me a chance, yeah? That’s all I ask of you.”
You sigh, “Okay, Johnny.”
You’re not sure why you gave in so easily to him. But the bright look returns to his eyes again and you find yourself feeling lighter. 
He steps back, slipping his fingers in between yours. He tugs you in his direction to follow him and you do, heart skipping in your chest as you look at your hand wrapped up in his. 
You haven’t been in a relationship in a very long time so this giddy feeling wasn’t one that you got to feel very often. 
Sooner than you’d like, he’s slipping his hand from yours to open the door to an apartment complex for you. You step inside and make your way down the hallway, tailing close behind him up to a door on the first floor – apartment 108. 
“It’s not much,” he gives you that charming, crooked smile as he opens the door.
“It’s better than my place,” you joke as you toe your shoes off.
“Have you had anything to eat?” he asks, helping you out of your jacket before hanging it on the rack by the door. You shake your head and he nods, “I’ll order us somethin’. Go ahead and make yourself at home.”
You watch him disappear into the kitchen as you look around his flat. It’s a modest apartment, a bit bare but there’s little bits of Johnny scattered around the place. There were picture frames on the walls and on different surfaces. The couch was navy blue and looked well loved. 
“Here’s some water,” he says, startling you as he comes back into the living room, “I ordered us some food, wasn’t sure what you liked so I guessed.”
You chuckle, taking a seat on the couch, “I don’t mind.”
“I’m not really,” he chuckles, sounding nervous, “Good at this.”
“Well,” you sink into the cushions, “I can’t say I am either.”
He laughs, a sweet, melodic sound that makes your cheeks flush, “Well, in that case. We can just…go with the flow.”
“Yeah,” you nod, “Go with the flow.”
By the time the food arrives, you and Soap are invested in watching a random season of The Bachelorette. Neither of you could decide so you looked online to find a wheel to spin to decide your fate for you. 
“Ugh,” Soap groans, “Can’t believe she’s goin’ on about how dreamy this bastard is. He’s a total tool!”
You giggle, holding one of his throw pillows against your chest as you sit. You’re about to add your own two cents when the doorbell rings. 
Soap jumps to his feet, “Fuckin’ hell, I could eat a cow.”
You admire the view of him from behind when he opens the door. His tight green t-shirt hugs the dip of his waist, riding up just a bit to show a sliver of tanned skin. His shoulders look impossibly wide as he stands in the doorway to take the food, muscles rippling beneath the fabric. His jeans sit low on his hips, belt tied tightly around them. 
Fuck, he’s good looking.
He turns, grinning and holding up the bags as if to show you his spoils. He raises one dark brow curiously, as if he knows what you’d been thinking.
“So,” he coos, saddling up next to you, placing the food on the coffee table, “Did you enjoy the view?”
You squeak, “I don’t think it’s polite to call out someone for looking…”
He cocks his head to the side and chuckles, leaning down to grip your chin, “Mind if I kiss you?”
“Now you’re asking?” you respond, breathless as you look at his lips coming closer and closer to yours.
“Aye,” he breathes. 
You nod and his lips are against yours in an instant. He supports his weight by placing his hands on the back of the couch. You have to crane your neck back to be able to kiss him but having him over top of you like this is exhilarating. 
You know you should stop before you get too carried away but you can’t seem to bring yourself to break away from him. Your attraction to this man is palpable and all consuming. 
Against your better judgment, you let him push you down, back against the cushions so he can crawl onto the couch. One knee on one side of you, he keeps one foot on the floor to straddle you without crushing you under his weight. But you wish that he would, fuck. 
Your arms wrap around his shoulders, fingers slipping through the short hairs of his mohawk. He sighs against your lips, one hand coming up to wrap lightly around your throat, just pinning you down so he can deepen the kiss. 
You find yourself tugging at his shirt, edging it up and up until he’s forced to pull away.
“Are you sure?” he asks, blue eyes swallowed by the black of his pupils when he meets your gaze. 
You nod, “Want you, Johnny.”
“I’ll give you all of me,” he promises, sitting up to yank his shirt over his head. 
It feels like the air evaporates from your lungs at the sight of him. He’s built, muscles rippling underneath a layer of fat – a man who is built for pure strength. His tanned skin is littered with tattoos here and there and hair speckles over his chest and stomach, a thick happy trail disappearing under his jeans. Which are tented with how his hardened cock presses against the fabric, desperate to be released. 
Your hand slips down the planes of his chest and down his tummy, cupping his erection. It twitches and kicks beneath your touch and pulls a groan from him. 
He reaches out, wrapping his hand around your wrist and bringing your hand to his lips where he places a kiss upon your palm. 
“Strip yourself, baby,” he orders, “Wanna see that pretty body.”
He sits back on his heels, watching your every movement as you slip your shirt off and shimmy your pants down your hips. 
When you stop, he realizes you're not going to take your panties off so he quickly does it for you. His thumbs hook into the band and yanks them down, making you squeal as the force jostles you. 
Soap chuckles, pressing a kiss to your shoulder as his hands eagerly cup your breasts. You sigh at the contact, arching your back to press more into his touch. 
His kisses all over your chest, leaving no spot untouched, until he can pop one of your nipples in his mouth. You whimper, fingers sliding appreciatively through his mohawk while his other hand slips between your thighs. 
You easily part them, nearly panting by the time his fingers slip between your folds. You're already wet and sticky, drooling all over yourself with slick he uses to circle your clit. 
Your hips twitch as the first feeling of his rough fingers on the little bud. You cry out, tugging on his hair as he switches his mouth to give your other nipple proper attention. 
You arch your hips, his fingers sneaking down to prod at your entrance. With a glance at your face to make sure you're okay with it, he slides one in. 
There's a loud squelch when it sinks in to the last knuckle and you whine in embarrassment. 
He can't resist commenting, “So wet.” 
You whimper, lightly slapping his shoulder at his teasing. He chuckles, leaning up to press his lips against yours as he carefully works you open on that one finger. He presses and prods against your walls, waiting for you to relax so he can slip another one inside you — really prepare you for his cock. 
He presses against your g-spot and it rips a heavenly sound from your lips that only encourages him to do it again. You get wetter and wetter, throbbing and clenching around his middle finger. 
When he decides you're ready, he introduces a second finger. His ring finger easily fits in right alongside his middle. 
“There you go,” he praises, unable to resist looking down to see where his fingers are buried inside you, “That's it, baby, look at you go.” 
You gasp, eyes rolling back in your head when he adjusts his hand. His palm cups over your clit, the angle letting him really grind the tips of those digits right against that gooey little spot inside you. 
He watches the way you cream his fingers, milky colored slick dripping down his knuckles. It makes his mouth water. 
The movements rub his palm over your clit, stimulating the tender little bud and driving you closer and closer to the edge. You cry out, moaning and wailing the tighter that cord winds in your tummy. 
You clench and pulse against his fingers, a signal that you're going to cum for him. He works even harder, diligently worshiping your precious cunt until you toss your head back and sob. 
Your body trembles, thighs twitching in time to your walls squeezing around him. He moans with you, watching your pretty body in the throes of pleasure. 
When it becomes too much, you weakly reach down and bat his hand away. He slips his fingers out, watching you clamp your thighs shut. 
As you lay there panting and collecting yourself, he pops his cum-covered fingers into his mouth. He moans at your taste, slipping his tongue between them to catch every single drop of sweet cum he can get. 
By the time he finishes off the delicacy, you're watching him with lidded eyes and your bottom lip tucked between your teeth. 
“More?” he asks, a crooked grin on his face. You nod and he chuckles, “That looked like a good fuckin’ orgasm. Sure you can handle more?”
“If I can't,” you whisper, sitting up to tug at his belt, “You can make me.”
“Fuck,” he groans, reaching down to help you open his pants, “Want me to make you take it, baby? Make you cum on my cock until you can't even think?”
“Please, Johnny,” you whimper, not tearing your eyes off the sight of him stripping himself bare. 
His cock was fat and heavy, a thick patch of hair scattering the base with thick, full balls to match. You felt your mouth fill with saliva at the sight of his hand wrapped around his big cock, stroking himself languidly until enough precum had dripped out to slick himself up. 
“Let me hear it again, doll,” his eyes are heavy lidded as he looks at you laid out beneath him, breathless and sweating from the orgasm he’d worked out of you.
“Please, Johnny,” you whisper, needily reaching your hands out towards him. 
“Shit,” he grunts, “Alright.” 
He scoots closer to you, spreading your legs open for him. Your sticky folds part, exposing your swollen, sensitive clit and clenching hole that’s still drooling your creamy release. 
He slips the tip of his cock through the gooey mess, tapping it meanly against your little bud. Your knees flinch at the stimulation and your jaw drops open when he starts to push inside. 
It burns and you arch your hips away instinctively from the pain. He slips out and curses.
“You gotta relax, sweetheart,” he mumbles, hoisting your hips into his lap with an iron grip. 
“Can’t,” you pitifully whimper. 
Soap clicks his tongue, purses his lips and lewdly spits on your clit. You whine, hands covering your face when he uses his cockhead to smear it all over. 
When he starts to push in again, the burn starts but a rough thumb finds your clit. 
“Shh,” Soap soothes you, watching as the furrow in your brows vanishes. 
He works your clit in tiny circles as he carefully saws his cock in and out of your tight hole, inching a little bit more in every time. Your body grows pliant and soft, slumping against the couch until he finally buries himself to the hilt. 
“Thaaaaat’s it,” he praises, still rolling your hard clit under his thumb, “Good fuckin’ job. Take your reward, sweetheart.” 
He remains completely stuffed inside you, grinding his hips up just a little until he prods at that gooey little spot inside you. His thumb continues to swirl around your clit and he watches your eyes grow wide, a grin stretching across his face.
“C-Cummin’-!” you manage to gasp before you throw your head back. 
He groans, jaw falling open as he works you through the orgasm, rubbing your clit to ease you through every pleasurable wave. It’s only when you reach down, grabbing his wrist to stop him that he ceases. 
“Fuck,” you pant, pupils blown wide as he looks at you coming down. 
“Feels good cumming on cock, huh, sweetheart?” he asks, once again wearing that crooked grin on his face. 
You nod your head, still too fucked out from your orgasm to properly formulate words. He chuckles, carefully pulling back until only the thick head of him remains nestled inside. With a swift, experienced roll of his hips, he stuffs every single inch right back in. 
You wail, grappling haphazardly against his shoulders for stability as he starts to really fuck you. He punches so deep, makes you feel him in your tummy. The friction burns and feels incredible at the same time. 
It feels so fucking good that you can’t stop any of the sounds that are forced from your lungs with every mind-numbingly pleasurable thrust of his cock. You’re soaking him, dripping all creamy down his cock in a way he knows you’ve never done before. No way your own fingers could make you cream like this and he doubts you’ve ever sat this pretty cunt on any stupid toys. 
He groans, grinding against your clit every time he reaches as deep as he can, “Not gonna have shit to sell now, huh?”
You whimper, shaking your head as you stare at him wide eyed, drool dripping over your lips because you can’t close your mouth for even a second. There’s no way for you to quiet yourself, you’re loud, you wear every pleasurable experience on your face with no ability to hide or perform. Every reaction is real and authentic and he loves it. 
“Don’t think I can ever let you go after this, sweetheart,” he coos, slowing his thrusts so you can focus on looking at him, “That alright with you?”
You swallow thickly and shakily nod your head, “O-Only want you, J-Johnny.”
He snorts, sharp canines glinting at the predatory grin he gives you, “You only sayin’ that because you’re got your cunt stuffed full of my cock?”
You whimper at the punishing thrust he gives you, the pain of him battering your cervix making you tremble, “N-No! L-Liked you when I first saw y-you. I-I swear, Johnny. Please!”
“Alright, quit fuckin’ beggin’,” he snaps, leaning out of your reach, making you whine. 
He takes a mean grip of your hips, using just his strength to yank you onto his cock like a fleshlight. You wail, head tossed back against the couch as he really fucks you. Every thrust is too deep but gives you nothing but pleasure. He grinds against your clit every time he sinks in, making sure to also aim for the gooey little spot that gets you creaming around him. His fat, heavy balls slap against your ass every time he stuffs that cock into you. 
It’s all just too much. He should know better, really, treating a little virgin pussy so meanly. You’re too new to this, don’t know how to take such cruel, deep strokes. You’re squeezing tight, staring at him with wide, glassy eyes. He can’t stop the moan that tears from his throat at the sight of tears trickling down your cheeks – proof that this is all too much. 
But he doesn’t stop. He can’t stop. Not when he feels how tight you’re squeezing around him, how much wetter you’re getting as you get closer and closer to what he knows is going to be the best damn orgasm of your life. 
“Cum,” he whispers, shocked at how fucked his voice is from pleasure, “Cum right fuckin’ now.”
“W-Wait, Johnny-!” you wail, feet kicking as you fight against his iron-tight hold on you, “I-It’s…It feels w-wrong!”
“Stop fuckin’ runnin’,” he snarls, easily pinning you to the couch. He folds you up, knees to your chest as he presses his body weight down on you. He can feel the air being forced out of your lungs under the weight, “I said cum.”
You open your mouth, wanting to say something. But you can’t get the words you, only whimpers and tears. He doesn’t care what you had to say, though. All he cares about is feeling your tight little cunt cum around him so he can have his own orgasm. 
You still try to fight him from how intense the build up is. You slap against his shoulders, squirm and try to kick him off but he easily holds you down. Even as you fight, you never once tell him to stop. 
After a few, long seconds, he feels it. 
Fuck, does he feel it. 
You gush. It splatters all over his cock and stomach. He curses, slamming into you over and over, every thrust forcing another squirt out of you. You’re sobbing, fat tears falling down your cheeks and you’re moaning the prettiest damn symphony that has ever blessed his ears. 
The orgasm is too much, it’s intense and all consuming. You can’t come down, every time he stuffs you full, your orgasm continues to wash through you. 
“J-Johnny-!” you sob, “N-No more!”
“Fuck!” he snarls, cutting his own orgasm off when he pulls out of you. 
He pushes himself off of you and you curl in on yourself, softly sniffling and shaking in a little ball. He licks his dry lips at the sight of you covered in your own squirt. 
“C’mere, darlin’,” he coos, panting and breathy, hoisting you up and into his lap. 
He cradles you in his arms as you’re wracked with trembles and twitches, your nerves zapping through your body from the pleasure. He shushes you, cupping your chin to make you look at him. Your eyes are red-rimmed and wet from your tears, pupils blown out wide. He clicks his tongue and wipes his thumb underneath to swipe some away. 
“That’s it, sweetheart,” he coos, “Just get some breaths. Got a little overwhelmed, huh?”
You nod, slumping against him with a sigh when you finally feel like you’re back in your body. Johnny is solid and sweaty beneath you, warm and comfortable as he cups the back of your head and strokes his hand over your body. 
“I-I’ve never um…” you clear your throat, cheeks burning hot.
“Knocked your damn socks off, huh?” he jokes, a crooked smile on his face. 
You giggle, endorphins still rushing through your body. You shift on his lap and catch the pinch in his brow before he can school his expression back into place. You look down, biting your lip at the sight of his cock still hard and twitching, smeared in a creamy mess of your cum.
“Ah, it’ll go down on its own, darlin’,” he assures, no irritation to be seen or heard from him. 
One look in his eyes shows you that he’s perfectly prepared to go without his well-earned orgasm – just for you. 
But you don’t want that, you realize. He had made you feel incredible, given you an orgasm that you’ve never been able to experience in your life. You doubt anyone else will ever be able to make you do it again. 
“I-I want to help, Johnny,” you whisper, trying to swallow down your nerves. 
His brows raise in interest, “What did you have in mind?”
You slide off of his lap and slowly sink to your knees. You place your shaky hands on his thighs to steady yourself, looking up at him with wide, too-innocent eyes. 
He lets his head fall back against the back of the couch, a breathless, “steamin’ blood Jesus,” following. 
“I-I’ve never done this,” you confess, though he’s not surprised, “Is that okay?”
“Is that-” he laughs softly, “darlin’ any man who isn’t appreciative of you willin’ to swallow his cock is a man you kick in the balls, got that?”
You giggle, nerves dissipating as he wraps a hand around the base of him. You scoot a bit closer when he holds it out for you, waiting for you to do what you please with it. Your tongue falls from your mouth and Soap feels like he’s suspended in air as he watches you get closer and closer to the sensitive, leaky tip. 
The first contact feels better than he could have imagined. He’d gotten so fucking close earlier, buried in your cunt as you came around him, squealing for him and all. He knows it won’t take much to send him over the edge this time. 
Perfect practice for you, he thinks. You won’t have to be on your knees for too long or do any real work to get him to cum for you. 
You’re clumsy and it’s clear you’re unsure about the taste of his cock. It’s not just his precum, it’s your own cum mixed with it. He can’t blame you for being unsure.
He reaches down, a soft, gentle hand resting atop your head to encourage you. When you look up, he smiles so softly at you that it makes your heart jump in your chest. You suddenly feel like you’re the center of his world. Those baby blues never once waver from you as you sloppily lick and slurp on the tip of him. 
“Take a little more,” he whispers, lashes fluttering and chest rising as he takes a deep breath when you eagerly follow his directions. 
Your pretty lips stretch around the girth of him, taking just the head inside your hot little mouth. The flared glans are greeted by your curious tongue, making him whimper when you lick. Your mixed taste lingers on your tongue but you quickly grow accustomed to it. 
Feeling braver from Johnny’s unfiltered reactions, you take a little more into your mouth. Then more. And a little more until you suddenly choke, gagging around him. You pull your head off, sputtering and coughing a bit. 
Johnny coos at you, thumbing away some drool on your chin, “Not too deep, darlin’. You’re not ready for that.”
You hum, not at all discouraged from taking him back into your mouth again. You don’t take him as deep, accepting that you have your limit – for now, judging by Johnny’s subtle promise of more to come. 
“Just suck, watch your teeth,” he whispers, not caring about the way his voice cracks, “Move your head like this. Go at your own pace, alright?”
You lazily blink up at him, hoping he understands your agreement. You do as you’re told, folding your lips over your teeth to keep them away from his sensitive skin. Bobbing your head feels awkward and it makes your jaw ache but the sounds Johnny begins to make makes you temporarily forget about your own discomfort. 
His eyes are rolling back in his head and he starts to stroke the rest of his cock that your mouth can’t handle yet. You can’t tear your gaze away from the sight of those thick, veiny fingers wrapped around himself, getting covered in a slick mess of your cum that he had so generously fucked out of you earlier. Drooling all over him like this only gives him more of a mess to work with. It’s gross, frothy and dripping down your chin and neck, slicking up your tits.
It makes your cunt tingle selfishly. You think you could make yourself cum, slip your hand between your legs and stroke your clit until you find release. But you don’t – you focus on Johnny and his pleasure. He’d already given you so much that you don’t want to come across as greedy by making his moment about your own pleasure. 
Johnny’s free hand grip around the back of your neck, squeezing and caressing your skin as encouragement since his mouth is too busy moaning. You take his sounds as signals, sucking and moving at whatever pace makes him cry out the loudest. 
You had no idea men like him were willing to be as loud as he was. Usually, the masculine type of guys like him would be online whining about how moaning was ‘gay’ or some stupid shit.
Johnny didn’t seem to give a fuck. If he felt good, he was going to let you know. It made you feel more at ease, like you were doing a good job even though you knew you were still clumsy and it probably didn’t feel as good as head he’s surely gotten in the past. 
But it encouraged you to work harder to please him, to earn more of those beautiful, unfiltered moans that he was so willing to give you. They were your reward for the intense ache in your jaw.
“F-Fuck,” he groans, suddenly, eyes opening from when he had closed them at some point, “I’m gonna cum. Oh fuck, you’re gonna make me cum.”
His words are slurred, like his brain’s oozed down to his cock, too stupid to think of anything except how heavy and full his balls felt. 
“Shit, shit, shit-!” he whimpers, an honest to god whimper, “Off, pull off!”
You do as you’re told, releasing his cock from your mouth. Strings of frothy drool connect your lips to his tip and you don’t dare break it, the sight making you clench around nothing. 
Johnny strokes his cock, another loud moan erupting from his lips as he cums. It spurts out, splattering against your cheek, making you flinch in surprise. You can see the way his balls throb in time to each rope of cum that his fat cock spits out. More splatters on your cheeks and lips and across your nose until it tapers off to slow, thick oozes that dribble over his knuckles. 
When he lets himself go, he sags against the couch, staring dazedly at the ceiling as his erection flags and grows soft. 
When he finally looks at you, you can see his eyes widen almost in alarm. He leans forward, cupping your cheek, messily swiping some of his cum off of your cheek.
“Sorry, sweetheart,” he mumbles, still sounding breathless, “Didn’t think you were gonna get splashed with it.”
“It’s okay,” you whisper, feeling his cum still lingering on your lips.
You can’t resist sticking your tongue out to taste it. His eyes darken at the sight of you licking up his cum. You don’t make a face of disgust like he expected, instead he catches the way your thighs clench together.
“Is that right?” he mumbles, cock twitching in interest, “Isn’t that an interesting development? You like to taste cum, sweetheart?”
You whimper when he swipes more up onto his thumb, bringing it to your lips for you to suck off, which you eagerly do. You suck his finger clean until he pulls it back out, pupils blown wide, making his blue eyes look black.
“You ever had that pretty cunt eaten before?” he asks, a predatory grin splitting across his face when you shake your head.
His hand wraps around your throat, ripping a moan out of your throat. He easily manhandles you onto your knees, tits pressed against the cushions of the couch with a nasty “stay.”
You never thought you’d enjoy being manhandled and ordered around like a dog but fuck if you’re not learning more about yourself tonight. 
Soap smacks your thighs apart, and slips his head between them. You take a glance down and nearly choke at the sight of him laying on his back, staring hungrily as you cunt drips gooey, sticky strings right onto his waiting tongue that he holds out for it. 
The sight is so fucking filthy. 
But it’s nothing compared to the sounds he makes when he gets that tongue on your cunt. He slurps between your folds, groaning at the taste of your cum on his taste buds. He swallows your clit, cheeks hollowing out as he sucks. 
You’re already a moaning mess, crying out into the cushions which you claw desperately at. Your eyes roll up into your head when you feel him pop your clit out of his mouth, spit on it, and then slurp it right back up. 
He eats so fucking dirty, it’s disgusting and sloppy. But it makes you rut your hips against him. 
Soap chuckles, pulling back to watch you work your hips over nothing before you realize he stopped and whine.
“Fuck yourself on my tongue then,” he whispers, earning him a relenting whimper in response. 
You can feel the flat of his tongue, hot and thick, against your clit. The little bud’s so hard, swollen and pulsing against the muscle. 
With his order ringing in the back of your head, you clumsily hump his tongue. You drag your sensitive little clit back and forth along the surface of his tongue. It feels so fucking good that you actually sob. The sound tears from your chest and makes his cock twitch. 
You rut faster and faster, not caring about the way you’re messing up his face when you move too high or too low. You know there’s a mess on his chin, cheeks and nose but you don’t care. His tongue is there for you, for you to cum all over. He’s so good to you, holding it out just so you can use him as you please. 
As you grow closer and closer, your moans change in pitch and he suddenly reaches up, stilling you. You groan, an irritated sound that makes him laugh. You frown at that but it’s quickly wiped away when he grips your ass, spreading your cheeks apart so he can stuff his tongue into your creaming cunt. 
You shout, sitting straight up in surprise, your weight falling onto his face. He moans at that, rewarding you by pushing his tongue even deeper. It feels odd, different from his fingers and his cock. It’s soft and almost slimy, not long enough to quite reach any pleasurable place. 
But just the fact that he’s got his tongue buried in your pussy is enough to have you clenching on it. He watches you through heavy lids, waiting to see what your next move is. 
He’s enjoying your little show, he must admit. He likes seeing a sweet, clumsy virgin experience these things for the first time. He likes the fact he’s breaking you in, tearing your walls down and seeing you lost in mind-numbing pleasure. 
You surprise him by resuming the motion of your hips. You hump back and forth, riding his tongue like it’s a little toy just for you. And he supposes it is, he’d be a toy for you if you so wished. He’s addicted to this sweet, creamy little pussy and he’s not afraid to admit it. 
You reach down, swirling your fingers around your sticky clit. There’s lewd clicks that accompany the movements along with the sound of his tongue sliding in and out of your hole. 
You meet his gaze, he’s staring so intensely at you. It spurs you on, makes you fuck yourself on his face more confidently. 
You tap your fingers against your clit, slapping the little bud and pulling your fingers back to show Soap the sticky strings of slick that connect them to your cunt. He can’t stop himself from reaching down, wrapping his hand around his cock, jerking himself off to the sight of you smacking your clit and fucking his tongue. 
You’re pulsing around it, dripping down his face and mixing with the drool that's pooling out of his mouth. His face is a mess, it drips down his cheeks and under his neck. He’s sure there’s a pool beneath his head that will need to be cleaned up and fuck, he’ll lick it from the floor if you let him. Just as long as he gets to taste you again. 
You gasp, tossing your head back. His cock fucking aches, harder than it was before and more sensitive now that he’s already had an orgasm. He knows he’s leaking, drooling sticky precum all over himself like the horny mutt he is. 
You cum spectacularly, twitching and trembling, rubbing your clit and clenching around his tongue. It’s like a reward, swallowing down your cum straight from the source. He pulls his tongue out of your hole and wraps his lips around your clit again. 
You wail, shaking and throwing yourself face down against the couch again. You try to wrench your hips away from his punishing mouth but he wraps his arms around your thighs and continues to slurp and slobber all over that tender little bud. Your eyes roll back in your head as another orgasm tears through you, far too soon after the other. It almost hurts from how sensitive you are through it, not even able to make a sound as it washes over you. 
Only when you’re left twitching and trembling does he finally relent. There’s tears falling out of your eyes and drool dribbling down your chin. The picture of fucked out.
He laughs, folding himself over your back. 
“You still with me?” he asks, kissing your shoulder.
You whimper, “Fuck, you’re so good, Johnny.”
He chuckles, “Think you can take more?”
You eagerly nod your head and he doesn’t waste any time. He sinks his cock into you in one deep thrust. You choke on a moan, arching your back so you can feel him even deeper. 
He doesn’t start slow like he did before. He knows your little cunt is fucked nice and open for him now. You’re still dazed, drunk on endorphins, any attempts to meet his thrusts are sloppy and clumsy. It’s cute so he doesn’t bother stopping you. 
“Spread your legs,” he orders you but doesn’t wait for you to do it. 
Instead, he meanly knocks them apart, opening you up even more. His balls slap against your clit and you wail, the exact reaction he was hoping for.
“There you go,” he laughs, “You liked slapping that little clit earlier. How’s this?”
“So good!” you cry, kicking your feet against the floor as pleasure washes through you. 
You feel like a live wire, every movement forcing you closer and closer to your next orgasm. Soap isn’t far behind you, too sensitive and worked up to draw it out for long. 
He clasps the back of your neck, pinning your face to the cushions as he fucks. He takes and takes, using your sticky, gooey cunt. He’s pounding into you, hips slamming against your ass and his balls slapping your clit. 
You can’t even say anything as the orgasm washes over you. He only feels it, the rhythmic clenching of your walls and the gush as you squirt. You’re silent, completely still against the couch as he saws his fat cock in and out, squirt after squirt of cum splattering all over his thighs until he inevitably reaches his own end. 
This time, he fills you up. Seats himself as deeply inside of you as he can before he moans. His cock pathetically spits only a few strings of cum but the orgasm lasts far longer, encouraged along by the clenching of your cunt as you’re coming down. Or maybe you’re still cumming, he’s not sure. 
There’s a faraway look in your eyes, a wet spot of drool underneath your cheek on the cushion of the couch. You’re panting and glistening with sweat. When he pulls out of you, you drop to sit on the floor, the measly load he had given you drooling out of your cunt as it continues to clench and throb around nothing. 
Fuck, he’s never felt so proud to fuck someone brainless before. He knows you’re gonna need a good bath and cozy arms to sleep in. 
And his are the best around, if he does say so himself. 
He kisses up your spine, curling himself around you as you finally start to come back to yourself, pliant and soft. The both of you sit there, holding one another and sharing soft kisses until he decides it’s time to move. 
He’s in no rush, though. He’s wrapped around your finger now and you’re never getting rid of him. 
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screampied · 3 months
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“tch, what are you doing.”
“hugging you.”
“i’m not stupid. why are you hugging me,”
sukuna grouses, his entire vast frame growing stiff. it was always like this with you. every few seconds, you’d be talking to him about literally anything and out of nowhere, your human arms just wrap around his waist. the demon stands still with the most repulsed poker-face, yet he doesn’t attempt to pry you off. for whatever reason, your warmth was surprisingly .. comfortable. you’ve got the cutest smile contorting against your features. burying your face into the center of his chest, the demon sighs, flicking your forehead. “oi brat, i asked you a question.”
playfully wincing at his gesture — you have a tiny pout. “you looked like you could use one,” and your arms briefly tighten around his slim torso. “also, usually when someone’s hugging you, you’re required to hug the other person b-”
“don’t tell me what to do,” and you gasp, feeling strong arms pull you in close. with an oof, you land right into his soft padded chest. your cheek tenderly rubs against the various ancient markings that paint and decorate his skin. the ‘hug’ only lasts for about three seconds before he pulls away, pretending to feel ill. a mere drama king. “disgusting. got me participating in such a revolting, humanly act. think ‘m gonna be sick.”
“oh, don’t be dramatic,” you tease, leaning into his touch. you’re met with a crimson-red glare but you could spot the vague pout forming against his lips if you squinted. out of all the pesky humans he’s encountered, no one was ever tolerable or worthy for his attention.
no one except . . . you.
a simple gesture as hugging makes him feel mushy ‘n soft inside and he hates it. loathes it, that dumb carefree grin that cheeses against your lips, the cute glimmer sparkling in your eyes. so irritating, so . . adorable.
as you rest your chin against his chest, you let off a tiny huff. “do demons not hug each other?”
“not in this way,” he murmurs, feeling an awkward lump brew in his throat. sukuna’s eyes suddenly avoid yours and you grow curious. not only that, but his body language changes. your softness was making him nervous.
he swears a plethora of inaudible curses under his breath, remaining rigidly stiff and refuses to move his beefy arms another itch. your arms wrap around him again and a huffing sigh makes his tense shoulder lower. with a grumpy grunt, his eye twitches and a single fang bares below his top lip, a sign of cute stubborn annoyance. “ack, you’re squishing me, human. release me at once.”
your chin swiftly rubs against the soft fabric that made up his personalized kimono before deadpanning. “not until you hug me back.”
“i am hugging you back.”
“no you’re not,” you giggle, burying your face inside between the opening slit of his clothing piece. his body heat tepidly radiates against you and you’re engulfed with his loud natural scent. the demon’s almost always naturally warm, your personal heating pad. he shoots you a vexing glare, nostrils flaring up in exasperation before his arms awkwardly pull you closer. “hey, not s- so tight, ‘kuna.”
“now you wanna complain? you’re gonna take this hug,” and you giggle, feeling him gingerly shove you into his broad chest, squeezing you tight.
sukuna sassily rolls his eyes at the audacity,
he’s never been one to participate in such ludicrous, but if it was with you, maybe it wasn’t that bad. sukuna stares down at you, a weird soft feeling pooling its way into his heart — after a while, he unwraps his arms from your body, ruffling your hair. “stupid.”
with a cheeky grin, you wrap your arms right back around his torso, nuzzling against his chest like you were a kitten. with a gruff groan, his arms suddenly mirror you, slinging around your waist, pulling you close tightly. how annoying, he’s starting to enjoy this little thing called ‘hugging.’
sukuna slowly adapts to the warmth of your body against him, a faint smile creeping on his face at your next adoring words. “love you ‘kuna.”
“you’re gonna experience a deadly cough in five days, brat.”
“huh?”
“hmph. i said . . i love you too.”
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anonymityisfunwriter · 5 months
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Every Part of You
Pairing - Grumpy!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Reader A.N. - Alright, I've been asked to write about Bucky and Sunshine's first time many, many times. And the thing is, like sure, I could write that, but also I want us to take a moment to consider trying to build up to that. There's so many firsts buried in there that I think need to be navigated through before they even get there. This is one of those firsts. Like the first time you see Bucky's shoulder.
Bucky Barnes Masterlist | Grumpy Sunshine Series
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"You're just- " You stop speaking, searching for his lips again. Though you're breathless, you can't bring yourself to pull away from him, "You're so pretty."
You shudder as you feel his hand slip under your sweater. The occasional graze of the cool metal on your skin enough to send shivers down your spine.
His lips trail down, nipping at your jaw, "I'm not pretty."
Your hands, winded in the hair at the nape of his neck, glide down his neck, to clutch the fabric of his henley. The moment he feels your fingers toy with the collar of his shirt, his heart hammers against his ribcage. Not in the sort of way that he usually feels in these moments with you. He feels a sense of dread, of panic. It wraps around his spine like a python. It feels like he can't breathe.
"You're so -"
He wrenches away from you, his chest heaving, "Stop, stop, stop."
You freeze, immediately dropping your hands. Panic starts creeping up your throat, coating your words. "Did I - did I do something wrong?"
He gulps, silently shaking his head. It takes him a moment to regain his composure, to regain the ability to speak clearly, "No, no, you're - you're perfect."
Guilt starts to eat at him. He can see you doing your very best to keep your own feelings off your face. He can see the sting of his rejection in the way your lips press together in a tight line. The embarrassment in the pallor of your once flushed cheeks.
You two have worked so hard to overcome your own personal issues and traumas, to build trust in each other, moments like these hadn't come easy. And he so callously pushed you away, it makes him feel worse. And what makes his heart ache even more, he sees nothing but concern for him shining in your eyes. You just look so worried for him.
Your hands rest in your lap. You twist and untwist your fingers. "If you don't want to, we don't - we don't have to do anything. I'm really sorry -"
"No, no, please don't be sorry." He reaches for you, gently squeezing your hand. It soothes him as much as it does you. "I want to. You don't know how much I want to."
"But?"
His eyes squeeze shut. He can't bring himself to meet your eyes. "You haven't seen it before - my arm, my shoulder."
"Oh."
He drops your hand. That feeling takes over him again. It feels like there's not enough air in the room. He slides away from you, closer to the edge of the tiny couch in your apartment. "It's - I am not pretty."
It breaks your heart, watching him pull away from you. You can only imagine how many people have turned away from him before. "James..."
He fervently shakes his head, refusing to open his eyes, "No, no, I know what you're gonna say, but it's bad. A lot worse than you're thinking."
"How do you know what I'm thinking?"
"It's bad," he insists. "I see it every day and I can barely - it's just bad, okay?"
You take his hand, squeezing it tightly. "It's okay if you don't want me to see it. I understand."
He finally opens his eyes again as his eyebrows pull together. He still doesn't meet your eye. "No, no, I want to - I trust you with this, I do. I just - I want you to be prepared."
In that moment, you realize that it's not really about preparing you. Not at all.
He thinks you're going to react badly. He thinks that this will make you turn away from him for the first time ever. He's worried that the love and adoration in your eyes will turn to disgust and repulsion.
It's less about preparing you for the scarred flesh, and more about warning you that he couldn't take a bad reaction. He's not sure he could take it if you turned away from him too.
"I love you," you promise him. "There's nothing that you could show me that would change that. I hope you know that."
There is no response to that. And you know that he won't believe it until he sees it. It takes him a moment. His hand toys with the hem of his shirt. His hand grips the hem, only to let it go.
"I love you," you remind him.
He takes a large gulp of air, pulling off his shirt with one quick movement.
You weren't really sure what you were expecting. You knew the story. You knew how Bucky lost his arm. He even confided the bits and pieces he remembered from getting his vibranium arm.
Your eyes trail over his skin. The shoulder is scarred, scars jut in every direction. Each scar is etched into his skin. It's clear it was a painful, violent experience for him. The metal plate protrudes from the scar tissue in a way that you're sure was painful when first placed. You look on with curiosity, you're not really sure how this, a sign of survival, a badge of resilience, could ever make anyone turn away from him.
He's as breathtaking as you could ever imagine.
Your eyes flicker up at him. He looks at the blank wall of your apartment, scared to watch your facial expressions as you take it in. "Can I?"
He nods, barely able to look you in the eyes. He sucks in a breath when your fingers make contact with the scar tissue surrounding the metal plate.
You immediately pull your fingers back, worried you've accidentally hurt him. "Does it hurt?"
"No," he answers reflexively.
You know he's lying. "I've seen you holding your shoulder before - holding it like it hurts."
"Sometimes," he amends. "The doctor said there's a lot of nerve damage. Things they can't fix."
"Does it hurt now?"
"No."
You run your hand over the plate, over his scars, down to his shoulder blade.
"Still think I'm pretty?" he sarcastically remarks.
You press a gentle kiss to his bare shoulder. "I'll always think you're pretty. Every part of you."
Bucky Barnes Masterlist AnonymityIsFun Masterlist
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dyaz-stories · 1 month
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JUJUTSU BOYS + POST SHIBUYA HURT/COMFORT
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following Shibuya, the Jujutsu boys are in dire need of some comfort
featuring: nanami, yuuji, megumi, maki, inumaki, yuta, gojo
word count: 4.7k (600-700 words per character)
cw: canon divergence for nanami and gojo, season 2 spoilers, heavy angst, hurt/comfort, descriptions of injuries, everyone needs a hug, some fluff ig, established relationships, not proofread
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NANAMI
“He woke up,” Shoko informs you, closing the room to Kento’s door behind her. She doesn’t bother with small talk, gives only the necessary information since Shibuya. You don’t blame her. You understand why she would choose to keep her energy for what she thinks is essential. So when she approaches you, hands buried in her pockets, you know there is something she believes is that important to tell you.
“Is he— Has he said anything?”
“He thanked me — you know how he is. But, um— he’s lost an eye, and he’s badly burned. There’s nothing I can do about that. I’m sorry.”
She sounds genuinely dejected, but you shake your head.
“It doesn’t matter. Without you, he wouldn’t be alive. Can I—”
She gives you a faint smile.
“Sure. You can go in.”
You don’t wait for her to have finished her sentence to open the door. Kento looks up at you, and you take him in for a second. An eye patch covers his left eye, and that whole side of his body is burnt, badly, with fresh bandages covering it. It doesn’t stop you from launching himself into his arms, and he catches you without missing a beat.
“You’re alive,” is all you can say, repeating it like a mantra.
“I am,” he answers. “I apologize for worrying you.”
So very like him, apologizing while he’s lying on a hospital bed after suffering from horrific injuries.
“Thank you for coming back to me,” you whisper into his neck, tears rolling freely from your cheeks. “I don’t— I don’t—” I don’t know how I would have kept living without you.
His eye is filled with fondness and love, when he looks at you.
“Does it hurt a lot?” you ask, gesturing at his left side.
“It does not,” he answers. “Shoko’s abilities are quite remarkable for that. I am healed. The bandages are mostly to stop the skin from becoming too dry — due to the size of the area, she couldn’t do it all herself.”
“Then… can I kiss you?”
He swallows around the lump in his throat. If he is honest, when Shoko talked to him after he woke up, one of his greatest fears was that you would be disgusted by him. He knows you find him handsome — found him handsome, at least. He knows that this was thinking far too little of you, and yet relief washes over him at your question.
“You can always kiss me.”
You’re cautious when you do, don’t want to risk hurting him, despite what he’s just told you. Your lips feel like coming home, and he loses himself in you, if only for a moment. All too soon, he feels the need to pull away for air. Even with Shoko’s miracle work, he feels weak, a sensation he finds himself hating with his entire being. He likes being strong, likes being your rock, likes supporting you in any situation. He despises the fact that that has been taken away from him.
“I think it would be for the best if I spent the night here,” he tells you. “The chair isn’t very comfortable, so if you wish to go home, I wouldn’t—”
You shake your head immediately.
“I’m not leaving you anytime soon. I’m spending the night here. I’m sure I can find a pillow and a blanket somewhere, and I will be just fine with that.”
Aren’t you just adorable when you’ve made up your mind?
“If that is okay with you, that’s fine with me,” he nods. “But, first…” He opens his arm on the right side. “Would you join me?”
There isn’t much space in the bed for the two of you, but you make it fit, leaning against the wall so he can have his head against your chest. Even though he wants nothing more than to revel in the moment, he feels his eyes closing, lulled by the beating of your heart and your fingers carding through his hair.
He loves taking care of you but he supposes that, for the time being, it won’t be too bad if he’s the one being taken care of.
YUUJI
Finding Yuuji following the Shibuya Incident requires you to venture into the belly of Tokyo, making your way through curse after curse, stepping over the bodies of sorcerers and humans alike, never taking the time to stop. At least Megumi had warned you that he was likely to keep moving, so you hadn’t given up hope yet, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t afraid for him. Not physically, no, you didn’t think there was anything left here that could actually hurt him, but, based on what Megumi had told you, his head hung low, you can only imagine how devastated he must be.
You spot him when he finishes off a curse, on a rooftop near you. It isn’t long before you land there yourself, and there he is.
“Yuuji!”
He freezes when you call out his name, and turns towards you oh so slowly. When he looks at you, you could almost cry with relief. There he is, your Yuuji. A little worse for wear, but alright. You take a step towards him, ready to run into his arms, when he takes a step back.
A tall man wearing a kimono, his hair tied into two buns, lands in front of him, between the two of you.
“Who is that?” he asks Yuuji. “Do you want me to take care of it?”
There is quiet resolution in his voice. He doesn’t sound like he wants to kill you, but you don’t think he would hesitate to do it.
“N-no,” Yuji says, his voice hoarse. “No, it’s alright, Choso. Would you mind…?”
The man nods, still not showing any emotions.
“Of course. I’ll give the two of you some space.”
He throws you a threatening glance — as if you could ever be a threat to Yuuji — before jumping off the building.
You take another step forward. This time, Yuuji doesn’t move, but he refuses to meet your eyes.
“Don’t,” he says. He sounds weak.
Another step.
“Why not?”
He closes his eyes.
“I’ve killed—” A deep, shuddering breath. “—so many people.”
Step.
“That wasn’t you.”
You say it softly, gently, but you’re not sure that he can hear you, as he is now.
“It’s still my fault.”
His voice is no stronger than a whisper.
“It was Sukuna’s doing.” Step. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” Step.
You’re close to him now, close enough to see his hands balled up into fists, his lower lip trembling, how he scrunches his face so he doesn’t cry.
“Yuji,” you call, and in your mouth, his name sounds like a term of endearment. “It’s not your fault.”
He shakes his head, but doesn’t have anything more to say. He wants so, so badly to believe you, but his heart, his mind, and Sukuna’s voice in the back of his head are all whispering that you’re lying. When you reach him, your hands go up to his face, cradle it like it’s a precious porcelain. You trace the scar on his forehead, stroke the one on his lip with your thumb, and then you press your lips against it with great care.
And he falls apart.
Your arms are around him as he lets himself fall to the ground, and you let him bury his head in the crook of your neck as he sobs, let him hold on to you like a drowning man to a lifeline. You stroke the back of his head gently. The motion is soothing. Soft. Loving.
“I’m a monster,” he chokes, and tears fill your eyes.
“You’re not,” you promise, voice breaking. “You’re not. I love you. I love you. I love you.”
He gasps like he’s breathing for the first time in days, and you keep him there, in your arms. He’s not okay yet — won’t be for a long time. But he’s alive. He’s breathing. He’s moving forward, one small step at a time.
You will be here to support him until he can stand on his own again.
No matter how long it takes.
MEGUMI
Megumi has always been the quiet type. He keeps his feelings close to his chest, lets people in on his thoughts only in spare, carefully chosen sentences. He turns away if emotions overwhelm in, deals with the worst of it privately, would never let anything spill out if he could help him. Emotions are his problems, and he cannot bear the thought of them hurting someone other than him.
Still, you’ve always been able to read him. The softness in his eyes when he looks at Yuuji and Nobara, the smile he doesn’t quite allow to make its way to his lips when Gojo decides to spoil him, the way he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling your back against his chest so he can hide his face in your neck, even if you can spot his ears turning red. The way the corner of his lips turn down, too, when his mind drifts towards Tsumiki, the twitch in his jaw when someone brings up his father, the clench of his fists when he feels hopeless.
You can read him like a book.
He is even quieter when he comes back from Shibuya, and his emotions are expressed even more minutely, blink and you’ll miss it.
You can only watch from the audience in one of the numerous meetings that follow his return. Him and a number of other sorcerers testify, and you have to hear him recounting the same details over and over. You’re here to see, helpless, how he lowers his gaze when several sorcerers recommend Yuuji’s execution, and how his eyes dull when his sentencing is pronounced.
But he never comes to you. At first, you assume he can’t — there are a number of physicals for him to clear. You reason that he must be exhausted, must want his space for now, and resolve to give it to him. It’s on the day of the last council, when he averts his eyes to avoid meeting yours, that you realize what was happening.
He’s been avoiding you.
It’s a half-hearted attempt, one that comes to an end when you knock against the open door to his room. He doesn’t look up at you when he answers.
“Come in.”
His room is almost bare, but you know he keeps pictures from the two of you in his drawers.
You sit on the bed next to him, let your knee brush against his. He doesn’t move away.
“I haven’t seen you since you came back,” you say. You know better than to broach the subject directly, wouldn’t want to spook him.
“I know,” he sighs. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be. I just came to check in on you.”
He’s quiet for longer than he should be.
“…I have to go back out there. I have to talk to Itadori.”
You read between the lines. You know that he would give you more than that if he felt he could, understand that he is trying to make this as painless for you as he can.
You reach for his hands and squeeze it.
“Okay.”
There’s a pause.
“…you sure?”
You know that’s not the question he’s asking. You know he wants you to feel able to yell at him, protest, scream until there’s nothing left of the two of you, all so that you will feel better, even if he leaves unloved and a little more shattered than he was when he arrived.
“I’m sure.”
The sigh of relief he lets out sounds more like a sob. Next thing you know, he’s letting his head drop onto your shoulder, black hair tickling your neck.
“I’m sorry,” he says again. “I’m sorry. Can I— Can I just stay like this a little longer? Please?”
You keep yourself still, reach up to cup his cheek, stroke it softly.
“As long as you need.”
He moves his head so he can press a kiss to your cheek, lets his lips linger there longer than he needs to. When he turns around, you see he’s turned crimson.
The outside world might have turned into hell, but this room hasn’t yet.
In here, the two of you can hope that simpler, happier times will come again some day.
MAKI
Maki supposes that there are worse ways to wake up than with her head in your lap. By the time she comes to, Reverse Cursed Technique has done its job — mostly. If she could muster it, she would be glad that she wasn’t awake to feel it processing. It’s always felt foreign to her, and she hates feeling it on her body.
What she hates more, though, is the tingling of the burns on her face and body.
“Isn’t there anything to be done about that?” you’re asking Shoko when her eyes flutter open. You’re mindlessly running your fingers over the scarred skin, and it feels fresh and soothing.
“I’m sorry,” Shoko says, sounding exhausted but always taking the time to answer students’ concerns. “RCT can’t fix burns. Non-sorcerers have done some progress in that domain, I think. Maybe she’ll want to look into it.”
“I hope she won’t care,” you mumble.
“Why,” Maki asks, and you look down at her in shock, “is it that bad?”
She pushes herself up, looking around for her glasses, but stops when she realizes both you and Shoko are staring at her, mouth gaping.
“You’re something else,” Shoko finally comments, a tired grin forming on her lips. “Thought you’d be asleep for at least another day. Well, if you need anything, I’ll be in the next room, alright?”
She leaves with a wave of her hand, some of the weight of the past week taken off her shoulders, now that she’s done her work.
When Maki turns to look back at you, you already have her glasses in your hand. You’re careful when you pass the branches over her ears to put them on her, and she lets you do it, studying your expression. Your eyes are red from crying, and you look tired, too, but at least she cannot see any injuries on you.
“So?” she raises an eyebrow at you, and her skin stretches uncomfortably. “Do I really look that terrible?”
You shake your head and smile at her, reaching up to cup her cheek.
“You’re as stunning as always. I’d just hate it if you thought otherwise.”
She leans into your touch, closing her eyes. Her whole body aches. She cannot pinpoint any real physical pain, but there is an overall soreness  that she wants to stretch out. She would, if she could bear the thought of losing your touch, if only for a second.
“What about my hair?” she asks, trying to add a playful inflexion to her tone. “Don’t tell me you let them do whatever they wanted with it.”
You shake your head, mirroring her expression.
“It’s like you don’t even know me,” you say with a fake eyeroll. “I’ll have you know it looks super stylish.”
She nods, then turns her head to kiss the inside of your palm. She likes the way it flusters you, how you bite your lip and glance away to hide it from her.
“Do you— do you want to hear about what else has happened?”
Her smile dims, and she shakes her head.
“Can I get a minute of this first?” Her voice comes out hoarser than she would like. “Y-you can tell me afterwards. I just— I just need a minute.”
“Of course,” you reply, softly.
When you open your arms, she doesn’t hesitate a second to plunge in. She rests her cheek against your chest, and you wrap her in a tight hug that she returns without missing a beat. You’re warm and soft, as you always are.
She’ll get back to fighting, to throwing her whole body in the line of fire soon enough, that is a promise. She’ll mourn the dead, she’ll shed tears.
But first, she gets a minute of respite, in the arms of the only person that can give it to her.
INUMAKI
You rush through the emergency room, unbridled fear in your veins. The place is a morgue. There are more dead than living in here, and you’d be horrified if your mind wasn’t focused on one person and one person only — one that you cannot find. Cursed energy is no use right now, not with the place being such a mess.
“Ieiri!” you finally call when you see her passing by, pale as a corpse, not examining a body for more than handful of seconds before moving on to the next. “Where— Where is Toge?”
She looks straight through you. The dark circles under her eyes are even deeper than usual.
“Alive. That way.”
She point vaguely in a direction and then she’s gone, but it’s all you need. You find yourself running, unceremoniously opening and closing doors in your desperate search for him. When you find him, you could almost cry in relief.
“Toge,” you call, and you’re afraid your legs will give in underneath you.
He looks at you with wide eyes — eyes that you love so much, because they always say everything his lips can’t. Despite everything that’s happened tonight, they’re full of life, and that is the sight you’d been hoping for the most.
It’s only after looking inside that you realize what’s happened to his arm.
You walk over to him, sit on the chair next to his bed. He holds his hand out for you to take, and when you do, he squeezes it between his fingers, three times. His own, silent way of saying ‘I love you’. You lean forward, resting your elbows on the bed and hanging your head low.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” you whisper. “I was so scared.”
You feel his lips on the top of your head, and you cannot help but smile. It feels selfish, smiling in such circumstances, when so many people have lost their lives and their loved ones. But you’re reunited with him, and it is the only reaction that feels appropriate. You look up at him. Without his usual clothes, the seal on his mouth is on full display.
“Do you want a scarf?” you ask, gesturing at your bag. You always carry one, as well as cough syrup, just in case.
Fondness flashes in his eyes, but he shakes his head. Reluctantly, he lets go of your hand to tap on his phone. The movements are clumsy, and a knot forms in your throat, watching him do it, but you can’t think of anything to do to help him.
‘No need,’ the phone reads when he turns it back towards you. And then, after a line break ‘Sukuna attacked.’
You’d hear about that. You… had just hoped it wasn’t true.
“So, Itadori…?”
“Bonito flakes,” he answers, shaking his head. Silence falls on the room.
You usually like silence with him. It feels comfortable, like an old friend you’re happy to welcome. Tonight, though, you feel the need to blurt out “I’m so happy you’re okay.”
His lips turn downward, and he gestures at his arm dejectedly, but you shake your head, and you stand up so you can sit on the bed, by his legs. You grab his hand in both of yours.
“I would take anything as long as it means you’re back here with me. I know— I know it’s selfish, but I just— You’re everything.”
Toge presses his forehead against yours when you start crying. Gently, he frees his hand so he can wipe the tears running down your cheeks. He doesn’t get to express his emotions freely, so you do it for the two of you, that’s how it’s always been between you. That doesn’t stop him from tilting your chin so he can press his lips against yours. The kiss is soft and gentle.
“I love you,” you say for the both of you.
He wishes he could tell you that he hasn’t felt like he’d truly made it back from Shibuya until he saw you walking through the door.
When he kisses you again, he thinks you’re aware of it.
YUTA
“They agreed to entrust me with Itadori’s execution,” Yuta tells you when he finds you, anxiously waiting for him to come out of his meeting with the higher-ups. “I had to take a binding vow, but that won’t be a problem.”
He says it so casually, and you can’t help but sigh. Immediately, his eyes fill with worry.
“Is something wrong?”
You can feel his eyes scanning you, looking for an injury, and that brings a faint smile out of you. As if anything could hurt you here, in one of the last jujutsu strong place in Japan.
“I just wish you wouldn’t have to do that,” you admit with a shrug. “I wish there was another solution.” I wish you didn’t think the weight of the world is yours to take now that Gojo isn’t here to bear it.
“Oh!” He lights up, and you hate that he feels relief, because to him, it is inconsequential as long as it’s happening to him. “That’s okay. You don’t have to worry about me.”
Well, someone has to, since he won’t do it himself. You reach for his hand, fiddling with his fingers, and you can’t help but smile when you feel him freeze. You can’t believe he still reacts to your touch that way, no matter how many times you do it.
“Breathe,” you say, glancing up at him.
He flushes when he realizes he was, indeed, holding his breath.
“Sorry,” he mumbles. He doesn’t have to apologize, but he always does.
“Then I’ll go and keep an eye on Toge and Maki,” you decide. “I heard Maki’s recovering well, but I’ll see if there’s anything more they need. Maybe I’ll help Toge get back to his family.”
Yuta hesitates.
“You don’t— You don’t have to do that for me, you know?”
Ha. Guilty as charged. You’re just trying to take some of the weight off his shoulders so he won’t have to carry it all alone. You wrap your arms around his neck, smile when he turns even redder. He doesn’t move away from you though, and, after hesitating, he even closes his hands on your waist. The touch is feather-light, and you think he’d take them off if you breathed a little too hard. But it’s there, and he’s come a long way, truly.
“I know. I just want to.”
He’s crimson, but his eyes still soften at your words. With a sigh, he leans his forehead against yours.
“What have I done to get this lucky?” he marvels, and he sounds so loving you think you might just melt in your spot.
“You deserve the world,” you answer truthfully.
He lets out an embarrassed laugh that you interrupt with a kiss. His lips are soft and cautious against yours, and he is nothing but tender. You know he’s doing his best to restrain himself, both because you’re in a public space where someone could walk by and because it takes a lot more to get him out of his shell.
“Wh-what was that for?” he asks when you pull away, a pout in his voice.
“For luck,” you hum in reply. “You better come back to me.”
His fingers tighten on your waist. He doesn’t want to let go. If he could shut the whole world out and live only in your arms, he thinks he would do it in a heartbeat. But there are people out there who need saving, and you know even you can’t stop him from going to help them.
“I’ll keep your friends safe until then, okay?”
No matter what you tell him, he still doesn’t think he’s done anything to deserve you. That means he should let go of you, be on his way and wish you well on yours. Instead, in an impulsive move, he wraps his arms tighter around your waist to pull you flush against his chest in a tight hug.
You laugh in surprise and hug him back, and in that moment, he is absolutely certain that there is nothing that could stop him from coming back to you.
GOJO
“Guess who’s back!” Satoru calls when he walks into your home as if nothing’s happened, as if you haven’t spent hours on the phone with various sorcerers, trying to understand what on earth was happening and if he was even still alive.
You turn to look at him with daggers in your eyes, and you want to scream, but you don’t find the words when you take in the sight of him. There’s blood on his face that he hasn’t bothered to wipe off, his clothes are torn, the blindfold he’s holding in his hand is in an even sorrier state, and despite the smile on his face, you don’t think there is a muscle to his body that isn’t in a state a tension.
“Are you okay?” you ask.
He shrugs, walks across the room to grab a towel that he vigorously rubs against his face.
“I’m always okay.”
The sentence sounds empty, and you’re about to go up to him when he drops the towel to move towards the bathroom with a groan.
“It’s not coming off,” he says before splashing his face with water.
You follow him and watch as he repeatedly rinses his face. The blood has long come off, but he doesn’t seem satisfied with it. He pours generous amounts of soap on his hands, but there is nothing more to take off there. You wait a few seconds more before joining him. You still his hand with a pressure of his wrist, clean off the remaining soap, and cut off the water. He lets you do it, just as he lets you guide him back to the bed to sit down.
“What happened?” you urge him, keeping his hands in yours. He feels so far away, even if he’s sitting inches from you, and you’re desperate to bring him back to you.
Long seconds go by before he answers you.
“I made a mistake,” he finally says, words pulled out like teeth. “That’s what happened.”
You would tell him that everyone makes mistakes, but you know what’s prompting this. He isn’t everyone. He doesn’t make mistakes. He is Satoru Gojo, the strongest sorcerer, the one in charge of preserving the balance of the world after he’s irremediably altered it simply from being born.
Your hands come up to his face, and you trace his jaw with careful fingers. He closes his eyes. Lets you ground him. He can’t think of anything else he needs more right now.
“You’ve done so much,” you whisper. “I’ve been talking to Shoko — she says that without you, human losses would be much worse.”
He lets out a humorless chuckle.
“That is always true.”
Coming from someone else, it would sound like bragging, but you know that Satoru is only stating a fact. He always saves the day, which makes this so, so much worse. You climb on the bed behind him, start massaging his shoulders. Despite himself, he can’t help but relax into your touch. He doesn’t feel like he deserves that, deserves the comfort you’re bringing to him, and yet, as always, he’s powerless against you.
“But wasn’t the point always that your students would be able to take over?” you ask, softly. “And they did. They saved you. Sounds to me like you did well, Satoru.”
Did he? Sure doesn’t feel like it.
“Hm, I guess Yuji and Megumi did real well tonight,” he admits, and he lets himself lean back into your arms fully. “Just wish… Just wish it hadn’t turned out like that.”
You press a kiss to his temple, and he sighs. He doesn’t think he will be okay again tonight. Probably not tomorrow, either — maybe not before a long time.
“Do you want me to run you a bath?” you ask.
“Yeah,” he says. “That’d be nice.”
His eyes follow as you walk back into the bathroom.
“You’ll join me?”
A smile flashes on your face.
“Sure.”
He won’t be okay any time soon, but with you by his side, he thinks he can at least try to get there again someday.
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thank you for reading! as a note, gojo's piece is written under the hypothesis that he was unsealed but unsealed before the end of the night. I hope you enjoyed these pieces, please consider reblogging and/or letting me know your thoughts in a comment, interactions are the best way of supporting me and of keeping me writing ^-^
more jujutsu kaisen x reader here (primarily gojo x reader)
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The Barbie Movie.
A small, non-comprehensive list of things that stood out to me (spoilers? Kind of?)
The soundtrack
All the jokes that played off of what it was actually like to play with barbies (the pool & ocean being flat, the cups having no drinks in them, the shower having no water, etc.
TRANS BARBIE
The choreography
The "I Am Kenough" tie-dye sweater
Barbies of many shapes and sizes! All very beautiful!
THE ENDING, OH MA LORD. Both the way the story concluded really beautifully, but also the ending joke that no one was prepared for—
Just... everything about Ryan Gosling's performance
Kate McKinnon playing the deranged, "ugly" Barbie
In the same vein, that movie would NOT have been complete without representing the kids who played with their dolls "too hard" (cutting their hair, bending them in weird ways, etc.)
Acknowledging that Barbie did in fact mean a lot to some girls. This movie was geared towards everyone, whether you grew up loving Barbie or hating her.
The mom and her daughter
The fact that when Barbie was starting to become "defective" and/or when she was in the real world, you could start to see her ""flaws"". Like I noticed in some scenes her eyebrows were unplucked and no longer perfectly sculpted, or her skin no longer perfectly smooth with foundation.
It was clear that SO much thought and research was put into this. I couldn't believe how many references there were to specific clothing items, certain playsets, etc.
The fact that Barbie and Ken DIDN'T end up together, and that Barbie DIDN'T indulge Ken in his flirtations (is that a word?) even once
THE FACT THAT I WAS SO CLOSE TO ACTUAL TEARS LIKE SEVEN TIMES???? LIKE WHAT????
The weird dark humor coming out of nowhere
The fact that Barbie never once looked at the human women (who were "imperfect" in comparison to her) with disgust
......the moment between her and the woman on the bench 😭😭😭
The mom's rant about how hard it is being a woman (esp a mother) and how you can never win 🙌🙏
The misogyny in the Real World was so well done. It wasn't overexaggated or over the top it was just NORMAL EVERYDAY LIFE
THE JOKE ABOUT HAVING A MAN SIT YOU DOWN TO TALK ABOUT THE GODFATHER ASDJGKDLW
The moment where I went "OH so THAT'S where the mugshot memes came from"
Ruth Handler <3
The fact that everyone came to the theater dressed either in pink or Barbie-like attire :)
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nimomo-mo · 6 months
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Vent
#i have so many conflicting feelings right now#i got complacent#i was thinking i was pretty for a while there#but now im realizing i need to work out#i need to get toned and i need to lose fat#i was getting used to feeling nice about myself#this is bad. this is not a good feeling#i shouldnt be hard on myself i already have a lot on my plate#i hate that i always fall back into this when i see a picture of them#because i am so absolutely head over heels#and i want to look good next to them#i want to be on their level#i want to be hot and pretty and gorgeous next to them#i want them to look at me the same way i do them#but for that i need to work out. so much. so so much#i dont have the energy or the time or the willpower#i dont have the willpower i dont want to be comparing myself like this i want to be gorgeous i want to be hot#i want to have the willpower i want to be able to do it i dont have the money to make someone force me to do it#i work out when someone forces me if i had the money id get a PT i want to be hot i want you to look at me i want to be gorgeous#i dont want to look myself in the mirror. i dont want to see. i dont want to see whats in that fucking mirror. i dont want to know#i dont want to see how much im not what i want to be. god i have so many issues#i thought i could be like i am and still feel pretty. i thought i could do as i liked and be pretty anyway. or i guess i am pretty but#i wanna be better. i wanna be more. i want the willpower i want the drive i want to want i want i fjsaöbfvwcfisnvs#crying#i dont want to be like this. i dont want to be like this. i dont eant to be like this. i dont want to be like this.#and i hate how my extreme attraction and love for this fucking person is making me drag my self image into the grinder#i dont want to feel ugly. i dont want to feel disgusting. i dont want to feel like i could do so much more if i just stoppedbbeing lazy#im so fucking lazy im such a sloth im such a blob i can't do this i cant do this i cant do this i cant do thus#i dont want to spural i dont want t9 be ugly i dont want to be someone lesser i hate everything i hate it all i hate i hate i hate i hate#digging my nails into mu skin
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gutghost · 10 months
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Imagine you get cheated on...BUT- the cheater turns kinda...yandere?
It felt like an awful nightmare. Bile rising in your throat as you looked at your lover - the person who you loved through their highest and their lowest, the person who you invested blood sweat and tears into, the person you promised yourself to - undoubtedly pressing their lips to another person's. It took a hot minute before you tried to step back, only for you to bump into the doorway, causing a loud thump. The two looked at you, one with horror, the other with confusion. It took you no time to turn around and make a run for it. A hiccup making its way out of your throat as you felt a sob start to shake through your body.
It's been afew months, well. More then few months since that incident, and safe to say you have been doing...fine. not great, but fine. You've decided to collect your things while your lover was away from the house, your friends and family helping you out as you found a new place to live. It was bare bones, considering you didn't take the shared couch, or tv, dressers, not even bed. But it was yours, and you've been getting by. You'd like to think you've gotten stronger.
That was until odd things started happening around your apartment. Things were being moved, shit you know you wouldn't misplace. Your clothes were going missing, much to your dismay. You barely had any, so to lose even one shirt was frustrating. Then roses started appearing in vases in your home. Seeing as actual items were showing up you decided to call the police, and when it seemed that the window to your bedroom was broken, seemingly from an outside force, they told you to invest in better security as they kept a look out.
Which is why you were going to the store so late at night, I mean, what could go wrong?
bad decision, you later decided as you looked at the scene infront of you. Your throat tight, bile rising, just like that night, the night you lost your true love. In front of you was your lover - now ex - looming disheveled, gasping for air as their voice broke, a small, unnerving, almost crazed look, crossing their features.
"My love, my everything, oh please-"
"Dont."
Your lip trembles as you step back, your look of surprise quickly turning into that of anger. They had no right to call out to you with such fondness, not after what they put you through. The pain and suffering, all due to the person who swore to love you.
A look of hurt crossed their face at the sight of you backing away from them, as if you kicked a puppy. The idea sickened you. Quick to try and close the space once more as they struggled to walk straight they would stumble forward. Their voice trembling as they fell to their knees, a whimper coming from them as they scrambled to grab at your sweatpants.
"Please - my love I beg of you, I know what i did was sin, I know - I've never been more sick in the mind then i was that night, oh I was so stupid, thinking I could ever so much as THINK of another woman! Even more so after wards, how could I think I could ever live without you??? You! Oh precious you, the sun only shines when you are near. Those next few weeks were torture my dear, I've never wanted anything more then to RIP MY SKIN OFF WHEN I REALIZED MY MISDEEDS."
Their insane rambling continued as you tried to shove them off, tears starting to stream down their gaunt cheeks. Had they been eating? You wondered as you tried to get them off you.
"I'm...i'm better now though! I've never been thinking clearer, I came to a realization life isn't worth living without you! But by then- you...- you had already left, I tore through that house to try and find you but you had already been far gone. I asked your family, your friends - but all of them simply turned me away, your LOVER - isn't that what I am? I am, aren't i?? They should've...they-"
You couldn't listen to this anymore. A disgusted feeling filling your gut. What did you ever see in them?? You quickly shoved them away, a small gasp coming from them as you stepped away, your ex lover falling backwards onto the sidewalk. A look so firey resting on your face it could rival the heat from the depths of hell.
"You lost that right. You lost it the moment you took that person into your arms, the moment you brought them into our home, the moment you pressed your lips against theirs."
They seemed dumbfounded, sobs starting to wash over their body as they tried to sputter out apologies. But you had none of it.
"Did you get a kick out of it? Seeing me suffer? Seeing me jealous as you placed your hands on that person's? Your lips on them? When i left did you just go right back to kissing on them? Fucking them??"
You spat at them, your ex lover crying their heart out as they struggle to breathe. Whether it be from guilt or heartbreak, you weren't sure. They shook their head as they continued to cry, trying once again to reach out to you, to hold onto you for that comfort you once so readily gave them. But you stepped back, putting space between you once more. A scoff coming from you as you did so
"Baby please don't do this to me, please please please-"
Their voice wavered heavily. Some part of you, the part buried deep down in your heart, ached at the sight of them so broken down. They looked ill, both mentally and physically. But what done was done. You quickly turned on your heels as you made your way home. Your ex lovers cries filling the street as he urged you to come back, to not leave him. To not abandon him.
Maybe some sick part of you felt good that you left them a blubbering mess, after all. They rept what they sown, did they not?
Little did you know, oh how blissfully unaware you were. They were gonna get you back, one way or another. They will have you back in their arms, with all those roses they left in your apartment in pretty vases all over your newly bought home in the woods, far from everyone.
They will have you be their's again.
that corpse that once used to be their side piece left rotting under the concrete of their basement proves it.
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