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#disgusting behavior i need to be kissed badly.
softshuji · 2 months
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You put chapstick or any form of lip balm on in front of ran and you offer him some saying "it's vanilla" and instead he just tips your head back with your chin between his thumb and forefinger and kisses your lips before smacking them together saying "got some now, thanks princess" I'm absolutely sickened by him y'know.
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lookingformoondrop · 10 months
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could i request a boyfriend!andrew graves x reader headcannons or scenarios? i LOVE TCOAAL🫶🫶
Boyfriend! Andrew Graves x Reader - Headcanons
TW: Andy has a foul mouth, reader gets groped, Andy is a little possessive, a tiny bit of violence (-is always the answer)
♥︎Notes: I'm kind of an idiot so if you notice something is spelled incorrectly, feel free to send me a dm so i can fix it (totally not at all referring to my first Yandere!Andy x Reader post where I spelled dark as darmfk ;-;). Also this is kind of short because so many people requested for Andy x Reader, so I didn't want to pull out all the stops. I hope this meets your expectations <3.♥︎
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The first thing you gotta to know about dating Andy, is that he's very touch starved.
I can just headcanon that due to his aloof personality and very broody behavior, he doesn't get many hugs...
So when you enter his life, best believe that Andy shows you this completely different side of him!
I'm talking.... Cuddling in the mornings till the point where you're almost late for work because he refuses to let you go.
I'm talking.... Andy being able to sense when you're about to go into the shower. His spidey-senses tingles, and the moment you're about to hop in, he's right there already getting his hair wet.
I'm talking.... Trapping you with his kisses when you're making food, definitely not noticing that he's causing you to burn dinner.
And no amount of protest can deter this man either.
Speaking of making food... Andrew is the master-chef of the house!
Now he's no Gorden Ramsey (as he likes to tell you whenever he makes you a sandwich), but everyone knows that one bite of his food is enough to make a sailor come back to the land.
So it's very nifty when you're sick and at home, in need to have someone take care of you.
The first time you ever got sick was when you and Andy were still living separately.
It was a Friday night, and it was supposed to be your 1-year anniversary with Andy. Unfortunately, due to some unhygienic biotch at the office, you caught a cold and had to cancel.
At first Andy didn't respond, instead leaving you on read. You felt bad, figuring that he was mad at you for canceling.
But lo' and behold, exactly 10 minutes later, that was a frantic sound of keys jiggling into the your front door.
You had gotten up from your couch-potato position to see the person who wanted to rush into your home so badly, when it occurred to you;
Andrew is the only one with another set of keys...
And with that realization, Andy burst through the door with a pharmacy store bag in one hand, and a grocery store bag in another.
In an instant, Andy made you take a disgusting amount of cold medicine, and blessed your cold home with the warmth and smell of spices and herbs (likely all from the soup).
When the food was ready, he sat you up with a pillow and hand-fed you soup for the rest of the night. You felt so bad for ruining your anniversary, but everytime you tried to apologize for it, Andrew would stuff your mouth with more soup and would say;
"I don't care about that romance and anniversary shit. We don't need to go to a fancy restaurant or an expensive place just to feel like we're honoring an important date. That date is important because it is our date. We don't need to one-up that memorable time just to remind everyone of how special it is... Y/N, you're crying into the soup."
Needless to say, you cried.
But Andrew doesn't just take care of you...You best believe he also protects.
Well, sorta.
You could be in a grocery store, at a Boba shop, in the mall, getting new shoes, it wouldn't matter, Andrew would always have his hand on your waist.
Be it because he saw someone look at you, doesn't matter who or how old they are, he'll always wrap his arms around you and whisper ever so softly, "You're mine..."
It has definitely given you some weird looks over the years, but you know he means well.
And if anyone ever actually looks at you funny? It's over for them.
Andrew will make it VERY clear that you're not to be messed with.
For example, a couple of months into your relationship, you were riding the train. Enjoying a simple conversation about suspicious neighbors and whatnot, when all of the sudden some guy came up behind you and tried groping you discreetly.
Andy noticed very quickly that all the blood drained from your face. He looked behind you and noticed the old geezer trying to get a hand full of someone way younger than them, and Andrew could feel every restraint in his body snap.
In an act of "self-defense" as told to the cops later on, Andrew punched the living daylights of the guy and sent him flying into a pole.
You fussed over Andy's fist for awhile, completely forgetting about how you felt. But the only thing Andy could think about was how he should've hit that guy harder.
When you guys were finally walking home, hand in hand, you leaned on Andrew.
"I'm sorry about today Andy... I didn't mean for you to get all banged up."
Andrew snorted, "My knuckle is a little scratched up, so what? That perverted asshole had it coming for him."
You kissed Andy's cheek, which granted you a dark blush from Andy, and a grin from you.
"Thank you Aaandy~" You brushed his hand with your thumb,
Being in a relationship with Andy is a little messy, and yes sometimes a little crazy. But no matter what happens, Andy will always stick by your side.
"You're welcome, sweetheart." Andy squeezed your hand in return.
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Thank you for the ask<3
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2smolbeans · 2 months
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Ride or Die
"Remembering the past"
(Yan ceos x runaway darlings)
A/n: Dark content ahead, reader has a flashback of before they escaped, reader and April (another darling victim) bond together, possible stockholm syndrome
Tag list: @naogostodepaodealho69
Part 1 (The beginning and summary)
Related/Connected post
Masterlist
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Humiliation, disgust - his lips were on your skin, sending those horrible spikes in your body. It felt gross, his hands felt slimy, and you so badly wanted to push him off to give your body a break from all those unpleasant feelings. But you continued playing along, kissing him back and indulging in his wants.
Just this once, just this once. You'd tell yourself. Do it for them. Do it for the sweet promise of escaping.
You wrap your arms around his neck, and he grabs your hips in response. You'd be a liar if you said you didn't enjoy some part of this, if you didn't enjoy being wanted desperately by an attractive wealthy man - your former ex, your first love. You hated this. The situation was disgusting- yet it didn't take a lot of mental gymnastics to make yourself enjoy the moment.
Maybe you would've fully enjoyed it if the circumstances were different. Maybe in another life, the two of you just met again for the first time in years in a cafe out of some pure considence. He'd tell you what had happened after high school, and you'd do the same. Then, while walking around the city, he'd bring up the elephant in the room.. How he treated you in high school when the two of you dated. He'd apologize, feeling embarrassed and ashamed for his stupid behavior from back then. He'd look at you with those beautiful crimson eyes, owning up to his psychotic behavior - "I'm sorry for how I was. I should've never done that. "You had every right to yell at me. " Then, next thing you knew, you were at his apartment, getting things heated. For a split second when you closed your eyes, you could imagine it. You were here willingly, everything was normal, and he was normal. But of course, you wouldn't have things your way as that sweet illusion broke when he whispered those sickly annoying mantras. "You're mine, I need you" "Please please please please please-" "I'll fucking snap your neck if you don't say it"
He wasn't normal. This wasn't normal. And you're reminded of how badly you needed out. But thankfully, that wasn't the case anymore. You look around, and you see the fruits of your labor. You weren’t in that god-awful marble walled house, Marco wasn't anywhere to be seen, and best of all- you had your own goddamn room that wasn't littered with cameras. You lazily scroll through your phone, minding your own buisness while your fellow roommate and escapee did their own thing. "Hey, could you do the dishes?" You groan, not wanting to move from your spot. "Come on! I've been doing it for the past few days. Please?" Whining, you roll off the couch and head to the kitchen. You look in the sink, okay, there's not much to do. You mindlessly scrub and put whatever cutlery and flatware that is washed on the dish rack. You're on autopilot as your mind blanks out due to your lethargic state from brain rotting on your phone.
Smash
You look in the sink and see the little shards that litter in it. Picking up the shards, you kiss your teeth in disappointment. Pick, pick, pick, you put the shards in the garbage. Blood trickles down the meaty part of your thumb. You should've really-
-
He's talking, and you have your back turned against him. He seems happy and hopeful with whatever delusional rant he's going on. You listen to the water running, drowning out his voice. The clattering of porcelain dishes canceled out his presence, the loud clinking noises easing you. Though sadly, no matter what you use around your environment to escape reality, Marco always had a way of bursting your bubble. "What..you.. kids?" You freeze, your chest twisting. Your body doesn't dare move a muscle. "What was that?" He peeped a happy response. "What do you think about having kids?" You go rigid, your hands shaking. "I..I dunno. I don't care for them. " "Really?" You laugh, a hint of bitterness starting to seep in. "Why? Do you want kids?" "I mean-" "Then absolutely fucking not." He exasperates, whining as he takes a step closer to you, his large form casting a shadow over you. "Why not?" You bite your tongue, trying to conceal that bubbling feeling inside you. He keeps pushing you further to that edge as he keeps talking, his gentle tone that grated against your ears that tried so desperately to agree with him. You barely listen to what he's saying, but you can hear those words vigorously invading you. "children, family, love"
Your hands that grip the plate begin to feel light, and without registering, you snap.
CRASH
You start screaming at the top of your lungs, your voice vibrating the luxurious walls, your hands flailing around with the now broken shard held in your hand. "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! YOU WANT KIDS?!" You see red, the adrenaline is pumping in your veins, and you're beyond reasoning. You start throwing things at him, loud sounds of cutlery and dishes scattering the floor. Your words are harsh and cruel, uncaring of the consequences that would follow after. You violently sob, your body racking with trembles as you defeatingly go slack against the kitchen counter. You're gasping for air as you cry, sniffling as you confess your feelings.
You forgot what you said. It was the heat of the moment. So when he looked at you, you were already crying harder with fear - preparing for the worst. But to your surprise, he looked guilty, like he was finally aware of his actions, like he wasn't stupidly delusional like he always was. He reaches his hand out to you, and you don't bother fighting him. He sighs, your distraught taking a toll on him. Marco wrapped his arms around your body, letting you sink into the floor with him. He's hugging you, and you can't help but hug him back, feeling his warmth envelope you. You cry, you hate him - and all he can do is acknowledge it as he lets you sob into his chest.
-
Blood fades away with the water. You look at your thumb and dry it with a paper towel - blood staining the white sheet. Finding a bandaid, you place it on the cut. "You found it?" "Yeah.. Also really? Hello kitty?" "Whaatt? They were cheap" "April just admit you have an obsession" "Whatever" You roll your eyes as your roommate continues to draw on his sketch book on the dinner table. You look at the cute pink bandaid that was on your thumb. Looking at your roommate, you decide to join him as you sit across from him. "Whatcha drawing?" "Stuff. " "Can I see?" He eyes you for a moment, putting his sketchbook to his chest. "Come on, I won't judge you.. With whatever weird shit you're drawing," he scoffs, showing you the page he was working on.
You look at the page and admire it. There's multiple angles, different colors, all drawn with attention. 'Paige Nieman' was written at the bottom of the page. "Who's this?" His lips thin as he avoids your eyes for a split second. "Uhh, just someone I used to know," he pauses again, clearly uncomfortable. "She wasn't just that, but I don't know. I don't really.." "Hey it's okay. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to" he sits there, clearly ashamed and wanting to take back his words. "Nono it's okay. It's just..Do you mind?" "Dude of fucking course not! I'm here for you okay?" He takes in a deep breath, trying to control himself as he looks around the room- trying to soothe himself. "Paige was my girlfriend. She would've been my fiancee.." You furrow your brows, giving April your attention. You wait for him to continue speaking, but he doesn't. You don't want to push him further, so you don't say another word. You can see him biting his tongue, clearly on the verge of crying as he looks away with his wet eyes. "Hey man..It's okay.." you stand up from your seat, grabbing a tissue box from the living room. Wiping his tears he thanks you. You sit in a moment of silence, both of you having thoughts in your mind.
"Do you ever think of having kids?"
April looks at you, completely confused but amused at your question. The question was so random, and out of all people, YOU were the one asking it.
"Uhhh..Well, sorry what?"
"Just answer it"
"Are you being serious orrrr"
"Completely genuine"
"Alright then..."
He smiles, playing with the used tissue in his hand. He imagines the scenario. It's something he always looked fond at.
"Yeah..I've always wanted to be a dad. I always thought of how I'd raise them, what colors to paint the room.."
You hum in response, listening with interest.
"Yeah?"
"Two kids. I always wanted two. May and June..Because after April is May..And after May is June"
You're in awe as you hear his corny confession. He looks at you, waiting for your turn to answer the question.
"What about you?"
"Me? Well..To be honest I never thought of it. But after..Him.."
His name feels like a forbidden curse that you don't want to remember. You swallow as the thought of him begins to emerge in your head. You look back at April, trying to evade Marco out of your mind.
"I never figured it out. To be honest.. I hate him, but by God, does he make it hard for it to stay that way. I-It..It's fucked up, it really is. I probably need to go to therapy, or doctor Phil to be honest"
He smiles at your witty joke, putting a hand on his chin while you continue.
"But..He can be so sweet, he can be good..He's everything that anyone wants in a guy.."
Your mind thinks of Marco's smile, his willingness to help strangers, his humble nature. You think of all the tooth rotting moments and attractive parts about Marco you miss.
"But it can only make up for so much..Maybe if things were different..Maybe in another life I would've considered having kids.. But now.."
You're reminded of his unhinged behavior; The day he kidnapped and drugged you, the day he forced his hand in marriage, the ways he kept you trapped and leashed like a dog..The moment he stripped you from a normal life.
"I don't think I could ever have anything anymore."
You have both arms on the table. Your eyes staring blanking at the wood. April looks at you, knowing he shares the same mutual feeling as you. His voice is low and gentle, causing you to shift your eyes towards his.
"Do you still miss him?"
You feel the frustration inside of you as you cringe.
"Yeah..."
.
.
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pixiecactus · 1 month
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something to know about me, i dislike this quote with a burning passion:
"You may be as different as the sun and the moon, but the same blood flows through both your hearts. You need her, as she needs you … and I need both of you, gods help me."
sorry ned but maybe try to pay attention to the way your eldest daughter actually treats the younger one before saying something like that next time. look i admit it, is a cute quote and everything but the way stansas had run wild with this quote is disgusting.
i can talk only about arya here because the other sister doesn't interest me much and it gets so tiring to have a horde of people claiming that there's an already loving siblinghood between the stark daughters when the only evidence they have at their disposal is that exact quote up there and one of sansa's memories of a snowfight, oh my god... could this mean that there is not a close relationship at all between them?
remember this?
"Sansa had once dreamt of having a sister like Margaery; beautiful and gentle, with all the world's graces at her command. Arya had been entirely unsatisfactory as sisters went..."
i hope i remember this correctly (if not send me anon hate i don't care and it wouldn't be the first time either) but sansa was thinking like this after having the knowledge that her little sister is mostly dead so this is why i don't buy the whole "the adults were the ones pitting the sisters against each other" and sure, catelyn with her comparisons between them and septa mordane with her abusive behavior towards arya surely added something like reassurance in sansa's mind that she was better than her little sister and that arya deserved to be treated badly, which sansa canonically did to arya. but what i want to get is that, in my opinion sansa started to resent arya mostly because her little sister was different and had different interests than her, sansa wanted arya to behave the same as jeyne poole, who even when we're presented with the fact that sansa and jeyne were something like best friends, it was mostly a relationship that depicted sansa and her following minion who validated every breath and step that the eldest stark daughter took.
and in the books we are clearly shown that arya loves all of her family dearly (yes, even sansa and even when it's not reciprocated)
Arya never looked back. She wished the Rush would rise and wash the whole city away, Flea Bottom and the Red Keep and the Great Sept and everything, and everyone too, especially Prince Joffrey and his mother. But she knew it wouldn't, and anyhow Sansa was still in the city and would wash away too. When she remembered that, Arya decided to wish for Winterfell instead.
and
"She hated Ser Amory Lorch for Yoren, and she hated Ser Meryn Trant for Syrio, the Hound for killing the butcher's boy Mycah, and Ser Ilyn and Prince Joffrey and the queen for the sake of her father and Fat Tom and Desmond and the rest, and even for Lady, Sansa's wolf."
and
"I could find out somehow, I know I could, if only I could get away. When she thought of seeing Robb's face again Arya had to bite her lip. And I want to see Jon too, and Bran and Rickon, and Mother. Even Sansa... I'll kiss her and beg her pardons like a proper lady, she'll like that."
but at the same time, arya being passionate about those who she cares about is not something she only does when her family is involved, she started a pack of her own, with a bull, a pastry, a weasel and lommy greenhands (sorry my dude, i couldn’t think about any other thing to call you) and later on we see her making friends with the youngest son of a captain, the daughters of a fishmonger and a group of sex workers…exactly like sansa said back in agot:
Sansa knew all about the sorts of people Arya liked to talk to: squires and grooms and serving girls, old men and naked children, rough-spoken freeriders of uncertain birth. Arya would make friends with anybody.
arya doesn't actually need her sister in the same way that sansa doesn't need arya, and no, they are not the two different sides of the same coin, because for that to be the truth both stark daughters should be closely related and sure they are sisters and sansa is arya's foil but the closeness is simply not there at all, no matter how much you want to force it. and stansas use the coin analogy to push the idea that arya is the brawn and sansa is the brain(?) and that the two girls combined would be an unstoppable force rather than think about i don't know... hope that your favourite girl finally learns how to stand up for herself and stop being dependant on other people... maybe…
i honestly hope to see that if they are reunited, arya and sansa would share a hug, i think that both girls need the physical confirmation that the other one is real and not an illusion after all. but i'll always think that both girls are too different from each other to coexist peacefully side by side.
you can't tell me that arya would stand behind a person that doesn't care for others at all.
"l e t a r y a a n d s a n s a b e d i s t a n t s i b l i n g s"
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Note
Oh, I would like to request!! Azul/Vil/Malleus- W, Q, K And one question…Cater is not part of the event? It's just that I didn't see it in the characters on the list for the event and I would like to know if it is part of it or not.
Oh Anon… seems like I forgot to add him in the masterlist (*gasp* shame on me!)
Thanks for asking! Now I can correct this.
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I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!
WARNINGS: Yandere themes, obsession, possessiveness, imprisonment, implied stalking, death, murder, manipulation, unhealthy relationship
Azul Ashengrotto/Vil Schoenheit/Malleus Draconia-K, Q, W
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Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?
So sweet it might rot your teeth
Azul doesn’t just want you to see him as someone nice
No, he wants you to like him
This leads sometimes to behavior that can be a bit… unsettling…
Does he want something from you? Have you done something wrong? What is it? WHAT IS IT??!
Two faced
Literally flips the switch when someone else interrupts your time together
It’s already bad enough when a student from another dorm has done that
But when it’s one of his own? Respect for our fallen brother
One second he is like “Oh goodness, how fascinating you did this!” and the next he is suppressing the urge to strangle someone
And he does it so well you don't notice
Even if it catches your attention that he behaves differently considering someone else he will just say that they stepped on his foot, making him look a bit angry
Isolating
You might have caught a whiff of it already but Azul doesn't like sharing
So even when he doesn't have the intention of manipulating you in mind he still does it
Oh? You want to meet up with that person? Well not anymore! Now he suddenly heard them talking badly about you behind your back
Before you know it you are all alone
Though, not entirely
Don't forget your only friend! Azul is always there for you
Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
Self-blaming
Was he so horrible and disgusting that you left?
Azul thinks all of It was his fault
And whilst his... “attentive” behavior most certainly did play a part there are still factors that also contributed to that
But it will leave it's marks on him
Azul will start to starve himself, thinking that if he didn't have control over you leaving he can at least control what he consumes
But it's everything but healthy
In case of death
He also blames himself
But unlike before his sadness isn't a silent kind
If you had just left but still were alive he expresses his anger and sadness silently, a shorter temper or him not being not as happy as he should be in certain situations
But with your death he can't even try to continue
Nights are spent crying under his blanket and during the days he doesn't care about the Lounge
It's a self-destructive path
But maybe he hopes somewhere deep down that he will see you again when the time comes for him
Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?
Physically
I don't think he has it within himself to hurt someone physically
The worst he might do is due to him being so enraged that he doesn't have himself under control
So if you try to escape that means he could snap and break one or two of your legs
But if he gets violent then he will blame himself
No delusions, just him always apologizing
Mentally
Your mentalities safety is a completely different beast to tackle
You see, this time he doesn't even do it intentionally
It's just that he always has to manipulate the ones around him
And before we know I he suddenly does it without even wanting to
But it won't be too obvious
There are no threats, just subtle things that may seem harmless alone but build up to something bigger over time
Like “no. Don't go out. I heard the weather is supposed to be bad” to “no. Don't go out. They were talking behind your back” which also leads to “no. Don't go out. You only need me.”
Well at least you aren't a broken mess
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Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?
So kind that you feel like he might try to poison you
Since you are our dear, dashing little player (mind sharing some of that gorgeousness?) you are familiar with how Vil should be
Emphasis on the “should be” because... who is this??! His evil twin turned nice??!
And wasn’t Vil also playing nice with Neige even though he hated him? Should you fear for your life?
But he didn’t mean to scare you with his behavior. Really!
It is just when you appeared, perfection themselves, he couldn’t hold back anymore
Didn’t he say once that he would like to treat you like a normal person since he understands how hard life can be for a famous person
And I don’t know about you but being considered in some places as a “God” definitely falls into my definition of famous so…
But he tries really hard to make you feel welcomed
Maybe a bit too much because before he knows you are suddenly trying to keep a distance
Was he rude in some way? Maybe he has to show you even more respect.
Always concerned about you
Why is there a scratch on your face??! Has someone hurt you?
Vil adores you on a level that should be impossible for anyone
But here we are, him acting like someone possessed when it’s about you
Doesn’t matter if you are in public but if there is a strand of hair out of place he will fuss over you
So you are either thankful about that or you are embarrassed
The choice is up to you but if you ever tell him that you don’t want that be prepared for him to look like a kicked puppy
Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
Loss of ambition
It’s no secret that Vil is ambition itself
So when you leave all of that suddenly disappears
Why did you decide to leave? Has he done something wrong?
Vil can take a lot. Whether it’s hate online or something not going according to plan
But you not being by his side anymore? Total breakdown
Even though he was always the one fussing over you he still became dependent on your presence
So be a dear and don’t leave, ok?
Otherwise, he will track you down and use not-so-nice means (most likely connected to his absolutely wonderful grades in alchemy)
In case of death
There was still a chance for him to get up again if you were to simply leave (although that would lead to him hunting you down)
But when you died there is no way to get you back
Suddenly there is no Vil Schoenheit anymore
There is just a small sad puddle simply existing
The only time when he feels even the slightest bit of happiness is when he dreams of you
If only he could stay in those dreams forever
Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?
In public
Vil is a wonder of self-control
Although, it is no surprise since he has to keep himself together
There are after all people watching his every step
So even if you could literally hear something in him rip, probably his threat-thin patience, he is still keeping calm
He just becomes silent and takes you back home
Don’t expect the same silence there though
In private
If Vil was Malleus then there would be a horrible storm outside
But instead, you can see him massaging the bridge of his nose, him holding himself back from hurting you in any way
He will not hurt you in any way that it would be visible
That doesn’t mean though that your mind will also be safe
There are certain potions and poisons which can lead to horrible hallucinations, leaving you in the end vulnerable enough to be reshaped by Vil
But he doesn’t mean you any harm! He just wants to help!
And if that help is changing you a bit so you can be your best self (belonging to him) then he will happily drown you in a sea of sickly sweet tasting liquids and hallucinations
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Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?
Honestly? Like a lost puppy
But to the sad version, rather like the absolutely adorable version that you just want to squeeze and cuddle and aww lemme pull on those cute cheeks
Is Malleus pushy? Yes. Is he invading your space? Absolutely! … but who could say no to these eyes (am I biased? Maybe. Maybe not)
Also, Malleus privileges
Do you want to play with his hair? Give him some time to kneel so you have better access. You want to pet those beautiful yet (most likely) capable of impaling pieces of keratin? Sure… just be careful, the more you get to the base the more sensitive you are
Also, if you ask if you can pet his tail he will jump from bashfulness (I hc that the thing is extremely sensitive. No “but”’s and “no”’s. I will fight you)
Secretly dangerous toward others
But alas, that beautiful facade is just for you
Malleus hates it when others take his attention away from him
So what better way to keep it than to scare everyone off?
Malleus is aware that others are afraid of him and whilst this is also making him very sad he also sees the benefits
That Heartslabyul student came a bit close, don’t you agree?
No need to worry. You won’t see him ever again
Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
Disappointed at himself
Oh uh…. Well… how do I describe the end of the world without making it seem too horrible?
Ok, maybe I am exaggerating a bit too much but the situation is bad anyways
You know sulking Malleus? Now take that and mix in a rather unhealthy dosage of disappointment
It’s already bad enough when he is dissatisfied with something he can turn his back on but himself? That isn’t something he can run away from
Imagine a huge storm, cold rain and just the atmosphere that people shouldn’t be staying on this island
But it’s ok. This is all his fault. A perfect being like you has its reason for leaving… LILIA GET MY GOD BACK!!!
Yeah, he can’t let go
But that is really the least of your worries
In case of your death
Denial
No way you died!
See? The lights are still on in Ramshackle! That means you are still there
Jokes on him but that was his magic subconsciously lighting up candles so that he has at least that tiny bit of hope
But once enough time passes (maybe a few years over the average human life span) he finally accepts it
That doesn’t mean it will be peaceful though
He blames himself, saying that it was all his fault
Even if it was something that he had no hand in he will blame himself
But if he was even the slightest bit involved in it he will lay down and sleep for a long time
Why is there a spindle in the corner of the… oh
Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?
A master at holding himself back
Malleus is aware that he could easily hurt you with just a smithereens of his abilities
So he holds himself back
Let us just hope that his self-control does not waver or I can see you without a head on that pretty little throat of yours
But if you ever were in a situation where he is angry enough which could lead to him hurting you he will lock you in your room
We all know that he is doing that out of selfish reasons be he argues that he needs some time for himself, without the danger of hurting you
Maybe in a week you will be out but expect a building that looks like it survived a war
Worst case scenario
Malleus hurt you
This can end in two ways
Either you are unlucky and suddenly you are haunting the walls of the castle
Or you somehow survived this force of nature and are now standing there with a smol scratch
If you don’t survive we can take a look at the letter above this one
If you do though… drama
My man just panics and if I say panics I mean panics
You will never see this in the game but panicking Malleus is doting Malleus
Even after everything is healed he will be very careful
This might lead to him locking you up because he is afraid that you could get hurt again
Yeah, there is no good ending to either scenario
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shdo-xplosion · 1 year
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@kenmakai’s prompt request for my welcome event! thank you for participating :3
8. 🖤 YANDERE BEST FRIEND - e. kirishima
yandere!kiri, oblivious reader, obsessive behavior, drugging (cold medicine), somnophilia, non-con, fingering, oral(fem!receiving)
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Kirishima has wanted this so badly for so long. He thought he could wait, bide his time, and that you’d eventually see him as more than a friend. He’s been with you since high school, through all the ups and downs. He’s nursed you back to health after on-the-job injuries. He’s held you as you grieved the loss of other friends. He’s done everything in his power to protect you.
And yet…
You’re me best friend, Eiji. What would I do without you?
You’re both in your late 20s now, and Kirishima can’t wait any longer. He’s tried to curb his desires. He’s held himself back, told himself time and time again how wrong it would be.
Tonight, though… tonight the opportunity is just too good to pass up. It’s wrong, yeah, but it’s also easy.
You’ve been sick for a few days, a head cold that’s just kicking your ass. Kirishima came over to bring you soup only to find you passed out on your couch, a packet of PM medicine ripped open and nearly empty. He hopes you didn’t take all of the pills in one go, but you are dead to the world, and it would be a shame to just leave you here like this. So vulnerable.
Kirishima is sitting at the end of the couch by your feet, rubbing his hands nervously, attempting to wet his painfully dry mouth. He’s trying to work himself up, needs a little push.
And then you reposition yourself on the couch, turning on your back, and Kirishima suddenly can’t breathe when your knees fall apart just slightly. The push he needed.
Carefully—so carefully—he crawls higher on the couch. He can’t kiss you like he wants to. Touching your face like that might be enough to wake you, so he’ll have to refrain. So, he trails his fingers up your thighs, kisses the side of your knee.
Up, up, up, he travels, eyes flitting to your face to make sure you aren’t waking. When he finds no sign, Kirishima dares to brush over your covered core, protected only by cotton underwear. Your PJs usually only consist of large t-shirts and panties, a blessing Kirishima has always appreciated.
Taking them off entirely isn’t an option, but moving them to the side is. As gently as possible, he pulls the elastic until your folds are exposed, licking his lips at the sight. You aren’t dripping wet, still clueless as to what’s happening, but Kirishima can change that. He plans to change that.
Leaning down he begins to softly lick you, tongue delving between your folds then flicking your clit until it begins to swell between his lips. He stops when you exhale suddenly, glancing up and preparing himself for a look of shock and disgust, but your eyes are still closed.
Kirishima knows he can’t fuck you. He’s too big and wouldn’t be able to control himself. And, he’d need to hear you say you want him, help guide him into you so that he doesn’t hurt you.
He can touch you, though. He can push into your velvet walls and feel you begin to dribble slick. He can suck on your little clit and relish in the way you clench around his fingers. He can watch the way your eyebrows cinch together and your legs spread further.
You’re enjoying yourself. Even if it’s just a pleasant dream for you, that’s okay. He just wants to feel you cum, just be good and cum for him.
When Kirishima feels the engorged tissue of your g-spot, he makes sure not to hit it too hard, simply massaging the bundle. Too much pressure could be enough to wake you up, but this simple motion is still enough to make squirt leak onto his tongue.
You let out the prettiest little whimper, barely shifting your hips to press against his face. Kirishima has to be careful, hold himself back, but all he wants is to slide into your heat. His cock is throbbing with desire, slimy precum making his boxers stick to him.
Part of him even wants you to wake up. Maybe you’ll be close enough to beg him to fuck you, get you there the rest of the way.
You reach your peak just like this though, creaming on Kirishima’s fingers as your lips part in a quiet moan. He’ll never forget the way your cunt pulses around him, or the way you soak his palm in cum.
He pulls out slowly, pulls your panties back over your pussy and bites his lip when you soak through them. Kirishima just finishes licking you off his hand when you begin to stir, blinking sleepy eyes at him.
“Eiji?”
“Hey, you,” he grins, a throw pillow securely on his lap to cover his obvious hard-on. “I brought you some soup.”
You wipe your face and show a lazy smile. “You’re a god send. How would I survive without you?”
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event masterlist ✿
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kookieswan · 2 years
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Red Light - Whispered Kisses
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Nightmare!Hoseok x Psychologist!Reader
Word Count: 1.6k
Genre: Horror AU, Monster AU, Psychological horror, Fluffy…? Angst.
Warnings: Talk of killing/injuring people, mentions of gore/blood, a dead body, hints of sexism and bigotry. It should be noted that this story will contain themes of horror/psychological horror and also explore obsessive behaviors and codependency. Many characters are morally gray. Please be warned!
Summary: Hoseok may be a Nightmare, but you’re not willing to let him endure the horrors that lay below.
Notes: So, congratulations to everyone who got this far and knew. Proud of you. Also new character. Guess who. This takes place almost immediately after ‘Twisted Hearts’.
This is the 22nd part of the Red Light series. Find the Masterlist here ♥️
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“You will not be sending him to a deeper level in the facility. I won’t allow it. It’s my duty to analyze and protect the mental well beings of the Nightmares and harming them will only do damage.” It didn’t take long for people to figure out that something was going down, the alarms blaring almost as soon as Hoseok killed Andrews and crushed his heart for you. You had thought things couldn’t get any worse at that point, and then Williams walked into the office casually, an ocean of guards waiting outside of the small room for his call. You won’t allow it though. You won’t.
Williams raises a brow as he stares you down, Hoseok standing passively in the corner of the room as if to not seem like a threat. Upon hearing footsteps marching your way, he had ripped away from you, the warmth of his body disappearing and leaving you cold and wet with blood… it’s a passing thought, but you miss how you felt when he was holding you close.
“With all due respect, you have no say. He broke out of his bindings, knocked out guards, caused damage to the facility, all things he’s smart enough to know will get him in a large amount of trouble.” All very true, but the more you think about it, the less you care. Glancing down, you notice Andrews’ arm sitting directly in front of where Williams stands. Said man glances down at the severed arm and slowly nudges it with his perfectly polished shoe like it’s trash on the street.
“Ah yes, he also killed Andrews. Hard to forget considering his body is scattered around his office. Another offense to add to the large list.” Most of the office is covered in some sort of gore, on the walls, the desk, your body... You don’t really want to think about how there’s likely pieces of heart stuck in your hair. Clearing your throat, you try your best to keep your voice controlled but firm. You won’t let him walk all over you, but you also know your position which is sadly underneath him.
“I’ve been making progress with these men. You sending even one of them away right now could possibly cause a chain of events I’m not sure you’re equipped to deal with.” Williams eyebrows raise at the insinuation, the challenge, and you inwardly cringe. Perhaps your wording was a bit much, but you feel as if it’s true. The Nightmares won’t be happy with another of their own being treated badly, not from the info you’ve collected over the past month an a half. There’s a sudden tussling from behind you, Hoseok taking a tentative step toward.
“… If I could have some input-“ The Nightmares voice rings out, deep and gravely and warm. Williams cuts him off quickly though, throwing him a sharp look and raising a perfectly manicured finger.
“You get no input 061318. No one has the last work except me; not even your psychologist has authority here, so why would the likes of a vile creature like yourself?” His tone sounds disgusted, and the anger in you flares hotly, the need to flick the older doctor on the forehead strong. There’s a snort of laughter from Hoseok but besides that, he says nothing else, so you speak up in his place.
“Dr. Williams, please understand that this was just… A minor accident. I believe Ho- 061318 having a session or two with me could solve the issue at hand. Talking things out could be very beneficial.” William is starting to lose patience, mouth opening in a near snarl, but instead of yelling, the office door clicks and opens. A man walks through confidently, a doctor indicated by his badge, and instead of looking horrified, he simply smiles largely.
“Williams. Stand down.” A deep accented voice cuts through the tension, deep enough to echo through the room. The annoying man goes completely quiet and bows his head, causing you to startle. Williams has the most authority on this floor over the other doctors, so if this man is ordering him around, then-
“My name is Doctor Kim, Taehyung Kim. It’s a pleasure to meet you Dr. _____, I’ve heard many things about you. Good, bad, praise to the highest of heavens, disgustingly perverted rumors… You’re quite the enigma around here.” Well, he certainly doesn’t beat around the bush. It’s refreshing though when most of the other personal down here like to keep their secrets held close. He holds out a hand and you shake it firmly, giving him a small smile in return.
“The pleasure is all mine Dr. Kim. Excuse me for asking, but I’ve never seen you in this level of the facility before…?” The man is in the taller side, at lest half a head taller than Williams. He pushes his square glasses up the bridge of his nose, eyes sharp as he lets out a small laugh.
“No worries. I work on the deepest level mostly, but I like to make rounds time to time. I heard about the pending Code Red and had to come check for myself… Excuse me for just a moment, hm?” It’s almost funny, watching the smile melt off his face into a firm line of what you can only guess is some level of discontent. Williams visibly shrinks back, somehow becoming even smaller and more pathetic looking. Perhaps you’re not being very professional but you feel that time has passed for now.
“Williams, I sent away your little entourage. Also, before you even insinuate it, you won’t be sending 061318 to the deeper levels, and you won’t be isolating him either. Andrews was a piece of garbage and we should all be glad he’s been disposed of. If anything, this beautiful Nightmare has done us a favor.” Hoseok’s remained relatively quiet through this whole ordeal, but you can see his wings subtly shift from the corner of your eye, just barely pushing outward. Williams stutters a bit, apologizing as Dr. Kim addresses you softly.
“Dr. _____, if you would be so kind, please escort 061318 to this floors washing facility, and perhaps think about using it yourself; you’re both quite messy. I will send security to assist you in a while.” Nodding your head diligently, you look toward Hoseok and beckon him to come closer. He does so until he’s next to you, allowing you to wrap your hand loosely around his arm as a thin line of security. You don’t get far before Williams decides to open his big fat mouth again.
“Dr. Kim, I don’t think-“ Dr. Kim’s loud sigh drowns out Williams grating voice, and again, Hoseok let’s out another chuckle as his wings start to span the room, his smile like a perfect heart. The other doctors don’t pay any mind, both of them staring each other down, one with a look of disgust and the other with thinly veiled fear.
“Frankly Frank, I don’t particularly care about what you think. Now, Dr. _____, please be on your way. I look forward to talking with you more in the future, but for now, Frank and I have much to discuss.” It’s a battle to contain your laughter, your mouth twisting almost violently as you give another curt nod and tug Hoseok to the door without further question. Anything to get away from Williams and to get the blood off.
He walks slightly behind you, the halls completely quiet, not a soul in sight. Your thoughts run wild, still unbelieving if the events of today… Hoseok pulls against your hand slightly, calling for your attention as you round another corner. You ignore his bare chest and the way blood drips from the arms of his tattered jumpsuit.
“You just indirectly saved me from a questionable fate, doctor. I acted brashly, I realize that, and I feel that I owe you an explanation of some kind. It could keep you safer if you knew…” It’s almost odd listening to Hoseok speak so calmly after he just killed a man less than twenty minutes ago. Then again, it is Hoseok, so perhaps not. You keep leading him down the white halls, letting your hand slip into his properly with a small hum.
“Hoseok, really, it’s okay. I’m not super glad that you broke out and ran but it’s alright. I’m just a little emotionally exhausted right now.” Glancing up at him and slowing your pace, he looks unsettled. Not just because of the blood that’s covering his face, but because of the almost sad look he wears. It makes you want to reach up and brush the frown away, but you refrain.
“It’s not alright. The things he was saying about you, the things he did to you… it’s disgusting. He didn’t deserve to get away with it.” You spot the entrance to the washing facility and pull him closer, finally standing outside of the door as he looks down at you intensely. His wings stretch out fully and curl in, almost like an inky shield around you. Poking a single finger into his bare chest, you give him a questioning look.
“How did you even catch wind of the stuff he was saying? I know the guards like to talk, but still…” He raises a gentle hand to your chest, placing it right where the skin peaks out over your stained blouse, and you will your heart rate to remain steady. Hosoek seems to listen, to feel for a few moments as you keep still, while you enjoy the sensation of warmth his hand brings to your crimson coated skin.
“Because, dear heart…” The Nightmare removes his hand from your chest and leans in close. So close that you feel his breath mingle with yours as he whispers softly. So close that you swear, for just a moment, that his bloodied lips brush against your own.
“I can hear your cute little thoughts… Every. Last. One.”
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sliptohk · 3 days
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Prompt #18: Hackneyed
"Well…" Ellory thrusts, quick and precise in cadence with her words as nimble steps devour the space between them, "Lets have it then!"
A clang of steel answers three times, the fourth slipping forward to shallowly skewer his chest. A streamer of blood clings to the tip jealously from the kiss. Gravity rips it away. A most greedy force.
"What is this babble?"
Ozbeg steps forward with blade cleaving down in a double-handed blow. Torn muscle fails to curb his power, but a swift parry deflects it to one side. He learns fast, less reckless in his swing as he maintains balance in anticipation of an elbow coming to meet him. In many ways Ellory is not Silent. She eyes the blade in his hand, and steps past with a kick to the back of his knee. A gentle tap would suffice to unbalance.
She is not gentle. The crunch makes that abundantly clear as the xaela lets out a hiss in defiance of the pain. Its not near as loud as the woman's voice as she mocks him. No trace of mirth in her tone, as it drips with clear disgust for the man before her.
"No need to restrain yourself! I've seen that look before from other people that think they're special! Berate me!"
Despite his defiance, his leg refuses to move steadily. It quivers in distress as he forces it forward into a sideways swing. The attack does more damage to himself than her as she moves more swiftly in retreat than he can in pursuit. It infuriates him for a fool to toy with him.
"I thought you poorly trained. I was wrong."
The others fell away from him. Frozen Crater presses his opponent hard against jagged rock, the haft of his halberd pressed to their neck. It rises as the highlander opposing him kicks futilely against his armored legs. All their strength earning no reprieve as he slowly chokes. Stone grinds into his back. Ozbeg does not care to recall their names.
A nimble woman lashes out with her knives, sparks answering the impact as she batters away at a shield Oliver raises. A stalemate, had it only been the two. But Arlette chants swiftly in invocation of forces none should wield. An insidious spreading cloud that slowly dulls their sight. Panic set in, fingers rubbing at their eyes instead of assaulting their foes. Ozbeg never learned their names.
Molten River is pressed hard by their foe. A Seawolf of prodigious strength wields a large cleaver that easily brushes aside their hatchets. But River is no stranger to strong opponents. As that mighty weapon swings, it tires them all the faster. A waiting game to see which has the stamina to best the other. Or the greater allies to finish their fight and rush over in assistance. Ozbeg has forgotten their names.
There is only the rising anger at her flippancy, "I was wrong. You are a fool and a fool can never learn."
"Oh! Oh! Tell me what I can't learn, wise master!"
She knows how badly her behavior eats at him. It only encourages it all the more. Any little means to irritate as he swings a series of diagonal slashes in a lumbering advance. She evades most in her circling retreat, deflecting the last as it seems his leg has recovered well enough to lunge forward. Both hands clutch the hilt as she flows with the force of it to swing her right shoulder back. The hyurgadyn's stance reverses as left side leads, but she merely laughs and thrusts out just as adeptly with offhand as her dominant one. A matching red kiss blossoms on Ozbeg's chest.
"This nonsense. You play at this like a game. A true warrior dominates his foes. Commands their fear."
A need to kill surges. It thrums behind his eyes as the world pulses in kaleidoscope vision. It only deepends when she laughs derisively once more.
"When murderers masquerade as masters! Ah, its just so…" The woman slumps her shoulders, that mocking grin only broadening on her face as her voice went monotone, "Pathetic. We all know you for nothin' but a bloody butcher. Dreamin' about some kinda secret knowledge you can sprinkle on the younguns."
Even as red begins to burn in his eyes, Ellory does not look away. She goads the beast more as her tone expresses nothing more than utter boredom.
"You aren't special, Ozbeg. There are countless bandits and thugs scattered across the star. You just think, what? You're gonna come here and start spoutin' the sorta drivel that the villains in our fairytales spout? Been hearin' it since I was a child. It doesn't make ya hard. It makes ya a swivin' joke."
His teeth grate with an audible grind, eyes focus as if they had the power to burn the woman to ash for her audacity. The xaela rips free an item from his pack, tossing it between the two in challenge. An alabaster hand, blood gone black at the cut.
"She is not laughing."
Ellory spares the limb a cool glance. She cocks her head to one side, voice raising for all about them to hear.
"How stupid do you have to be? You cut off my cousin's hand and think… what? You're already a dead man. This just makes me feel a whole lot less guilty about it."
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korpuskat · 11 months
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AHAHAHA YOU GET IT like even with Talon!Reader you can just imagine everyone else side eyeing the fuck out of him. Just weird behavior. You would probably need a very specific and well thought out scenario for the whole thing to work tbh. On this topic though I am now wondering about fake relationship with him. oooooh you need to go undercover as a couple for some weird omnic fetish cult oooooh you have to make it convincing OOOOOOH
Talon!Reader is EVEN BETTER because it's more:
Ramattra (loitering at Reader's bedside, lying badly): Yes. We are a couple. Moira (doesn't care about Reader, but isn't stupid): what the actual fuck are you talking about
edit, oop, posted too soon: Fake relationship for an omnic fetish cult is SENDING me. You have to kiss him and afterwards, when you're alone, he's like wow. that was disgusting. certainly we will get caught if we're so bad at it. (pause). We should practice.
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myastrouniverse · 10 days
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September/2024🌗♑️I feel COLD inside and OUT.
🌗▪️🌞 I AM tired of being INSULTED by FUCKTARDED WHORES who think I AM going to turn into a corpse bot. YOU WILL ALL BURN THE FUCK IN THE HELL, YOU ALL CREATED FOR YOURSELVES. ITS A BLACK HOLE, AS BLACK AS YOUR ASSHOLE.
🌗 ☍︎ ♃︎ I WANT MY LIFE BACK. I WANT EVERYTHING STOLEN FROM ME RETURNED. I WANT JUSTICE FOR THE FUCKERY DONE TO ME. Don’t try to pull some new 🤡💩 on me. I’ve been pushed too far and I am barely participating in this 💩show.
🦺🔺🌽 If you don’t have support from friends or family, you can expect to be homeless and dead within a few years in America, if you are lucky. Imagine knowing that EVERYONE in your life has conspired to FUCK YOU OVER, over their FUCKTARDED DELUSIONS. Do you know who has my back? THE UNIVERSE, because YOU ANIMALS have WORKED AGAINST REALITY for so LONG, and FUCKED UP MY LIFE SO HORRIBLY; LITERAL DEMONS ARE GOING TO ANTAGONIZE ANYONE WHO FUCKS WITH ME. SO PLEASE FUCK OFF OR SATAN WILL FUCK YOU FOR ME.
♀️ Λ ♄︎ I USED to believe in love at first sight. I USED to believe in soul mates, UNTIL, I realized NOT MANY HUMANS have managed to keep their soul.
♀️< 🎸 “Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind” - WS. I hated the character Demetrius so much, I threatened to quit my part as Helena, if I was directed to kiss that 🤡💩 on stage. There was no love potion that could change my mind. I did not find that show to be very ‘feminist.’ I couldn’t understand why Helena wouldn’t fucking kick Demetrius’s ass and leave him DEAD in the woods. It was possibly the most difficult role for me to relate to. I don’t follow guys around in real life. I normally ONLY speak to gay men. I find misogynist assholes to be so offensive. The ONLY guys that are EVER attracted to me ALL seem to be white trash incels, that I believe need to die over their disgusting perversions. Again, I only like people who like me, but since I NEVER get to do ANYTHING I like, I NEVER MEET ANYONE I LIKE. The end result? No one wants to date me or get to know me or do any fucking thing I WANT TO DO. This pattern of hating everyone and being alone is a result of OPPRESSION and POVERTY, btw.
🌗🔺🚑 I’m so sorry me being ALIVE fucks up your fascist agenda, you fucking AIPAC cunts. You ALL know you are ALL going the fuck down.
🌗 Λ ♅︎ I am open to POSITIVE, HONEST and EQUAL relationships. Fucking me over behind my back is NOT a relationship, it’s called: CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR.
🌗▪️ ♆︎ LISTEN TO ME. Hitlery is corrupting the sign SCORPIO so badly, because her nature is so counter to the UNIVERSE; EVERYONE with Scorpio in their chart is affected by her ABOMINATIONS. Meaning? You aren’t as psychic as you think. Your Neptune in Scorpio is corrupt and cannot be resolved UNTIL HITLERY IS DEAD. She is a literal demon and MUST DIE. It will SAVE the lives of everyone with Scorpio in their chart. I don’t have Scorpio in my natal chart, so I can see the truth easier. Anyone without Scorpio in their natal has an easier time with discernment.
☿︎ ☸︎ ♂️ You don’t have to LOVE me, to fight on my behalf. You only have to LOVE HUMAN RIGHTS. Apparently no one cares that THOUSANDS of women, have been TORTURED and ABUSED by this parasite poison and left to DIE in jail. I survived barely. There are no words for the abominations being done to INNOCENT women over the EGOS OF AIPAC APE CUNTS.
BMTH - Sad but True
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Milan Kunc — Disco (oil on canvas, 1982)
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chaoslulled · 2 months
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farlan doesn’t know enough. not about what happened after his death, not about the world & the mess that followed. he doesn’t know enough to be able to address properly the secrets that he knows levi is keeping from him. so he drawls a little exaggerated speech - ‘ usually i can’t get you to shut up, but levi . . . i think you gotta start talking more.’
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levi  doesn't  smoke.    it's  a  behavior  that's  disgusting  to  him,  that  sinks  into  your  clothes    &    leaves  the  scent,  not  to  mention  it  is  far  too  expensive  to  actually  keep  up  with.      so  levi  doesn't  smoke;    not  since  he  was  a  teenager  really,    &    you  thought  you  were  doing  something  cool  by  lighting  one  up    &    passing  it  to  your  friend  so  you  could  cough  in  solidarity.
there's  a  staircase  that  leads  up  to  farlan's  apartment.    a  canopy  is  above  it  to  protect  it  from  the  elements,  but  over  time  holes  have  poked  themselves  through  it,    &    about  halfway  up  there's  a  bigger  hole  that  allows  for  unwanted  pigeons  to  pop  their  head  through    &    stare  at  you,  let  rain  water  in  when  it  downpours,    &    to  leave  a  good  tracing  of  snow  that  needs  to  be  removed  when  winter  hits.      it  leaves  the  metal  sweltering  in  the  summer  time    &    it  becomes  a  game  of  if  you  can  dodge  the  sun  spot  in  order  to  keep  your  skin  from  burning  or  not.      there  was  a  time  during  the  spring  when  he  had  pushed  farlan  up  against  the  spot    &    kissed  him  breathless,  hand  down  his  pants    &    swallowing  his  shuddering  cry  as  he  spilled  over  into  the  drenching  heat  of  summer.
levi  doesn't  smoke,  hasn't  since  he  was  a  teenager.
but  he  curls  up  on  the  staircase,  knees  pressed  upward,    &    avoids  the  hole  that  rests  halfway  up.      he  peers  through  it,  watching  the  way  that  the  moon  dances  among  the  stars;  soft  clouds  have  been  rolling  by  as  well,  not  enough  to  keep  a  permanent  cover,  but  enough  to  hinder  it  at  times.      
levi  doesn't  smoke,  but  he  pulls  a  cigarette  out    &    lights  it,  puts  it  against  his  lips    &    takes  in  a  drag  until  he  feels  like  he's  going  to  be  lightheaded.    it's  only  through  sheer  stubbornness  that  he  doesn't  start  to  cough  as  hard  as  possible  at  the  smoke  invading  his  lungs.    he  doesn't  smoke,  but  he  almost  lets  out  a  sigh  of  relief  as  nicotine  settles  in  his  system    &    helps  chase  out  some  of  the  feelings  that  have  been  clouding  over  him  for  weeks  now.
ever  since  he  had  had  his  fingers  fisted  in  zeke's  shirt,  his  mouth  on  his  neck,    &    had  memories  of  a  life  that  wasn't  his  flood  through  his  mind.    it  was  like  a  dam  had  broken  open;    his  past  life  thrummed  into  his  veins,  demanding  attention,  demanding  life.    at  first,  he  had  thought  it  had  been  zeke  that  had  unlocked  them;    kenny  had  always  said  that  usually  it  was  the  person  you  had  unfinished  business  with  that  allowed  the  floodgates  to  open,  'to  damn  you  for  every  fuckin'  thing  you've  ever  done'.    but  the  only  one  at  the  forefront  of  his  mind  were  FARLAN;  his  smile,  the  way  that  he  had  pressed  him  up  against  the  cool  brick  of  the  building  in  the  underground  as  the  bonfire  crackled  in  the  distance,  the  way  that  his  heart  lept  into  the  throat  the  moment  he  crested  the  hill    &    seen  titan  jaws  clamp  around  his  torso.      
it  had  never  been  zeke  that  unlocked  the  memories;    it  had  been  the  fact  that  levi  had  been  thinking  about  farlan,  had  been  thinking  about  how  badly  he  wanted  it  to  be  farlan.    he  had  left  within  seconds,  stepping  past  zeke    &    not  even  giving  him  a  reason  as  he  hit  the  elevator  button  in  the  hallway  repeatedly,  desperate  to  get  away,  desperate  to  go  home.
so,  levi  doesn't  smoke.    but  he  smokes  now  because  it's  too  much    &    he's  tired  of  his  hands  shaking.    farlan  doesn't  know  about  what  happened  afterward;    about  how  levi  had  mourned  hard,  how  levi  had  eventually  found  something  with  erwin    ––    the  very  person  that  had  been  the  reason  that  farlan  had  died.    not  to  mention  he  had  gotten  with  zeke  in  this  life,  the  very  person  who  had  killed  erwin    &    encouraged  eren  to  the  death  of  so  many  others.    there's  something  in  his  chest  that  twists  up  in  the  thought,  a  shaky  breath  falling  from  his  lips.    
he  doesn't  understand  how  he's  supposed  to  tell  him.    if  he  tells  him  about  erwin,  he  knows  what  the  conversation  will  be.    there's  a  constriction  in  his  throat  for  a  moment  as  his  fist  comes  down  on  the  metal  railing;  it  clangs  its  displeasure    &    he  hisses  as  a  soft  pain  erupts  into  the  side  of  his  palm.        he  can't  lose  farlan,  not  for  a  second  time.        they're  already  fragile  enough    ––    it  hasn't  even  mattered  that  he  had  gotten  his  memories  back,  not  really.    no,  they  were  still  tip  toeing  around  one  another,  around  the  fact  that  they  have  gotten  a  second  chance.      the  last  thing  levi  needs  is  to  give  him  a  reason  to  fully  sever  ties    ––    because  levi  doesn't  know  if  he  can  handle  it  for  a  second  time.  
the  door  to  the  apartment  opens,  light  momentarily  glowing  into  the  space  before  it's  closed  off  again    &    leaves  him  with  the  moon  once  more.    he  flicks  some  ashes  off  through  the  side    &    watches  as  they  fall  down  onto  the  pavement  below;    harmless    &    more  of  a  nuisance  than  anything.        he's  been  quiet  lately    ––    almost  afraid  of  saying  the  wrong  thing,  afraid  of  losing  the  one  thing  that  has  mattered  to  him  in  a  long  time.      it  makes  his  fingers  twitch  at  his  sides    &    he  has  to  fight  the  urge  not  to  flee  down  the  rest  of  the  stairs    &    around  the  corner,  away  from  farlan  as  he  comes  to  rest  on  the  step  above  him.
"  i  don't  need  to  talk  more    ––    i'm  fine.    you're  worrying  for  nothing.  "      another  flick    &    he  watches  as  red  fizzles    &    turns  gray  half  way  down.      he  loses  sight  of  it  from  there.      knees  are  tugged  up  a  little  tighter,  an  arm  wrapping  around  them.      the  moonlight  floods  onto  the  space  where  the  hole  is  ripped  in  the  canopy.  
telling  farlan  is  a  death  sentence    &    he's  well  aware  of  it.      so  instead,  he  leans  forward,  leans  his  head  up  against  farlan's  knees.      he  lets  his  temple  rest  there,  closes  his  eyes    &    breathes  in  the  familiar  scent  of  his  cologne.      it  sticks  to  him,  honey  sweet    &    rich    &    levi  feels  the  familiar  pain  in  his  chest  when  he  thinks  about  the  absence  of  it  again.
he  presses  a  kiss  against  the  jean  fabric,  closing  his  eyes  tighter  as  he  turns  his  face  inward  more,  hides  among  the  depths  of  him.    maybe  if  he  makes  himself  better,  he'll  never  have  to  tell  farlan.    he'll  never  have  to  divulge  about  him    &    erwin    &    then  farlan  will  love  him.    he'll  stop  pushing  him  away.
he  thinks  he  can  be  good  for  him    ––    he  just  needs  to  get  it  together.    he  just  needs  to  hold  on  to  the  depths  of  the  memories    &    swallow  them  down.
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idc
(Many different roles in my life are mentioned here. I don't care to explain. If anyone ever cares to ask, I will.)
Everyone is a hypocrite. I can't please anyone. I defend everyone to everyone. But they think "You defend them all day long!" OK well, I defend you, too. I defend all the people who have treated me badly. I forgive and move on. Until I am made to feel guilty for something that I did for myself. But you only see how it hurt you. You don't see what lead up to it, you don't see why I am like this.
You all look down on me. Don't respect me. I'm this and that.
You. Did. This. To. Me.
I feel like I am going crazy.
You don't like my behavior. You don't like my emotional responses. You don't like my over explaining, you don't like my asking questions to feel safe. You don't like me crying over something so minuscule. You don't like my trauma responses.
I'm expected to forgive everyone who ever hurt me, and yet they can't forgive me for my brain and body learning from a young age to respond in survival mode. I'm expected to behave like my brain is healthy.
You did your best, I know. I am grateful for that. Now when you ask me to understand that fact, understand that I am still NOT OKAY. Understand that just because you did your best, it still happened and I could use a little compassion.
Understand that from a young age, my brain never got the chance to develop normally. Understand that 10 times she walked in and out "I'm home for good!" In a matter of months. Understand that abandonment by the one person who was supposed to care for me and teach me what it is to be loved, messed with my head. Threw me away like I was nothing.
I learned at age 7 that I was nothing. I was a thing to be discarded. Not worthy of the time. Not worthy of the love. I was on my own. He did his best when she left and I am grateful for that.
She 2.0 came and taught me in my preteens how much of a nothing I REALLY was. I wasn't worthy of her time. My parents didn't have time or want me, so she was stuck with me. She couldn't wait until I was 18 to get rid of me. You were so excited when I got my period. You were never excited for anything I did, why this? Trying to push me on grown men at 16 when I hadn't even been kissed yet. He was disgusting. Maybe a man would take me away from being your problem. Wouldn't need to kick me or punch me or degrade me. Shower with the door open, embarrassment is the best punishment, I guess.
FINALLY someone loves me. This man loves who I am. I run away to him. Tricked into thinking that maybe I was worthy. Maybe I DID have value. Maybe I was someone. Maybe I could have a personality.
Lol.
Pinches and scratches are easy to hide. In my in-laws home, they yelled at me for screaming in terror in pain as he would abuse me. "Quiet down, stop it." He didn't like my tears either. They angered him more. "Don't f'ing flinch!" It was automatic, though I would try to stifle it. Gaslighting. I was crazy. I was making fake bodily functions.
Maybe it won't hurt so bad if I just do it when you don't expect it. That's how sex works. It will feel good once it happens. "Stop bleeding on the floor, get in the f'ing bathroom! Stop screaming!"
I learned how to grip a steering wheel so tightly that it was hard for someone to jerk it from me. Huh. Just realized that one.
How strange to be suffocated. I wonder if that's what it is like to be drowning. To keep trying to get air but you can't. No matter how much you scream and cry and try to wiggle, you can't break away. You wonder who will miss you. Will someone tell my family? Will anyone find me? Why don't you hear me? Sometimes you need to release bodily functions to snap someone out of it. Was it voluntary?
His eyes would go black. No one was there. Does he not see how my body is twisting? This doesn't feel right, I don't think my body should move this way. I hope my insides don't break.
A knife to my throat. This one is new. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to react. Don't flinch, don't flinch, don't cry, don't anger him. Breath slow. Maybe I can startle him back. He's not there. "Omg, what was that???" He looks around and investigates the surroundings. He's back as if nothing ever happened.
And on and on. Most of my childhood is blocked. I don't know the rest. Not yet.
I try not to judge. Everyone is always offended. People go to jail for speaking hurtful things. Abuse is suddenly taken seriously. No matter how small.
I was never worth that validation. There isn't justice. There aren't apologies. There is me, broken.
Everyone wants me to be a certain way like I know how to be that way.
A piece of paper that's been crumpled and tossed away so many times, will never again be crisp and flat and smooth, no matter how much you try.
Sometimes I think it's better for everyone to write me off. They won't be hurt anymore by my failure to thrive properly and I won't hurt anymore watching them all disappear.
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willowser · 2 years
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can i keep talking about shy bakugou please okay thank you — i feel like you have to unravel him. not always, ofc; sometimes he's ready to bare it all on his own, because he's learning that he can, with you, but most of time i think he needs a little push. your helping hand.
i think it all comes down to being nervous about wanting, in all forms. the longing and the yearning and the desire for another person, something outside of his control, that could easily and simply say: no. despite all that he can be and all that he can accomplish — it doesn't guarantee anything from you, doesn't set anything in stone because you are your own person with your own wants and desires and i think that would be terrifying for him. especially when it comes to the one he loves.
disgusting, how badly he wants you. it lives in every fiber of his being and it's so strong, untamed like the rest of him. bakugou has never experienced anything mildly and he can't, not with you, and that coupled with his apprehension and all the alarm bells going off in his head that this behavior, this desire, could lead him into heartbreak would have him. so. unsure, flustered.
it's a lot. it's vulnerability, and that's something he's fought his entire life.
but — it looks nice. on you. in the way that you trust him and cherish him, in the way that you rub his arm when you slip by in the kitchen or tell him, "you look so cute" when he comes in from the rain, hair flat against his head and drenched like a dog. you're so open about loving him, and loud and unashamed and you say it without hesitation at random times in the day, with a little smile on your face and a kiss ready for his cheek.
it kind of — fucking drives him nuts. stuns him completely, because he doesnt know what he does to warrant it, not when he's just being. standing at the kitchen counter or brushing his teeth or toweling his hair dry; somehow, you see something, something he can't and probably never will for himself. something maybe no one else has seen for him.
you unravel him. slowly. hand around his heart and the other up his shirt, slow and soft against the hard plane of his muscles. in his head, bakugou imagines himself much...smoother than he actually is. in his head, he's charming in the way that he strips you both, in the way that he touches you, makes a mess of you — but in reality, you look up at him among his pillows and blankets and you're laughing and he's just. shaking, with all that he wants. that he'll want forever.
with all that he doesn't know how to say.
(one day, he will. when the layers are gone at your hands, and his own, he'll be able to tell you. but until then, he hopes all that he kisses into your skin will be enough.)
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miraculousalt · 2 years
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The way Marinette fans or jus general ml fans really will use feminist movements like #metoo or the uprising of female abuse victims speaking up against misogynistic prejudice they face an suffer under to explain why Marinette has every right to reject Chat Noir the way she does is all really great an progressive unril the very same people will 80% of the time then turn round an honest to God explain or even DEMAND that Marinette doesn NEED to stop hitting Adrien, tying him up or otherwise physically restrain or use him and doesn't NEED to ask for consent in anything including KISSING or other sexual activities (you people aren't even attempting to hold Marinette to somewhat of the same healthy standards you make sure Adrien never EVER gets to break, under no circumstances) - even when they are DEPICTED IN A LOVING Relationship - because "its nothing serious.", "she isn't actually hurting him", "he deserved it he annoyed her!" and "that's slapstick comedy, it's FUNNY" is outright one of the most disgusting double standards this fandom glorifies into all heavens.
The way people will show ZERO self-awareness of what they're doin and excusing here an that this is EXACTLY how our real society treats (domestic) violence against men by women would be almost hilarious hypocrisy to point out if it wasn actually as downright depressing as it truly is.
Don't bring feminist movements into the conversation regarding Chats behavior towards Ladybug when you straight up support the characterisation of Marinette Ladybug bein seemingly incapable of NOT physically violating her boyfriend/husband/partner who has suffered under excessive abuse for all his life the moment she sees him transformed (or evn worse as CIVILIANS). Because therefore his "protective suit" can be used to all max as justification as for why Marinette apparently isn being abusive or treatin him badly, including taking advantage of him and his non existent boundaries thanks to his abusive home and the established Ladynoir dynamic that sometimes hardly let's Chat be more than Ladybugs tool to use so she can look cool and strong.
Don't bring up feminist movements when yall think the appropriate way for Adrien to react when he made Marinette angry is submitting and cowering in fear bc you somehow have convinced yourself that boys and men (even the ones, or ESPECIALLY the ones, you are in a romantic relationship with) getting scared of you when you're in a bad mood is you being EMPOWERED instead of you actively refusing to stop being outright abusive.
Canon Marinette is a flawed person but in the end of the day that still remains in at least some sort of limitations to not cross every line, but FANON Marinette Ladybug? That's so fucking often a glorified domestic abuser yall romanticize in a relationship with an abuse victim. But sure. That's alright for you, cuz yall don't truly believe that women can be abusers of people they love once you LIKE them as "strong, empowered women". And men can't truly be abused by women bc they just "respectfully drink respect women juice" in each an every conflict they have cuz men NOT havin to follow a women's every dominatin lead or dare to even expect of HER to do better and stand accountable for her hurtful behavior n be TRUTHFUL is toxic for you people.
I feel so fucking sorry for every male domestic abuse victim of their female abuser, who had to endure their pain an suffering getting invalidated, spit on and even JUSTIFIED as a womans natural unproblematic right by this fandom bc yall are really out here not thinking twice about the horrible implications of making Marinette Ladybug "lovingly" physically assault Adrien Chat for girlboss points or shits n giggles at every turn. No matter how fucking unnecessarily violently executed or even entirely unwarranted in the first place. You just don't fucking care.
The way this fandom has Marinette physically and emotionally violate Adrien Chat however extreme and even unwarranted as she pleases and then you people have the nerve to romanticize that abusive shit by having Adrien be INTO THAT and LIKE IT in a loving relationship while he never once gets to defend himself - bc now that would glorify domestic abuse right? - is the most backwards and hypocritical "feminist" characterisation teh show has to offer but yall truly make it into glorified abuse bc "woman strooooong and in control, its PROGRESSIVE! 💅🏼He respects and admires her strength an authority, he doesn mind getting put in his place à bit rougher by her bc he supports her as the powerful woman leader she is 😌."
Even the Marinette fans who claim to feel for Adrien in his abuse (or even ADRIEN FANS) turn around and laugh at or completely write it off when Marinette gets characterized in Canon and ESPECIALLY in fanon to basically just violate, assault, humiliate, insult and dehumanizes her male love interest for her "empowerment". Because yall claim to be so feminist and progressive but it's so fucking obvious that you only care about how WOMEN can benefit the best from everything. You want revenge porn that's all.
Adrien, his abuse and male abuse victims of any kind are a mere afterthought for you (sometimes not even that) in the feminism you believe in and s4 made that so fucking clear. 95% of this "progressive" Fandom wouldn't hold a female abuser accountable for her actions, even if it were to save the male victims life, the moment the woman isn't a 1 dimensional, obvious monster. If a woman has ONE sympathetic emotion in her portrayal yall will excuse and justify her getting the male victim served to her obedient an perfect an pretty on a silver plate.
95% of the miraculous Fandom has lost their fucking right to claim they care about abuse victims, because no you fucking don't. Not when it's a man and the scenario is coincidentally layed out perfectly to have the woman benefit on every level from the man getting abused, neglected and taken advantage of to 17 hells. Then youll look for n max out every excuse an justification on every meta level available to belittle the disgusting treatment the men went through.
YOU don't give a FUCK about abuse victims and their life's and pain the moment they are male, and s4 has an still IS now in s5 having you publicly blog that into the open internet because THAT'S how little you truly think of male abuse victims. Miraculous is a girl power show, so you will not think twice about dehumanizing and victim blaming boys for woke and even TOXIC feminist points, cuz the last thing you would ever do is hold women girls to healthy standards too in their dynamics an relationships with men boys under a feminist narrative.
"Feminism" for you is an excuse and Marinette fans in s4 proofed that in every way possible.
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tofu-loverx · 3 years
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Crystal heart ll chapter 8
chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 7 / chapter 9 / chapter 10
Note: English is not my native language, so sorry for any spelling errors.
Warnings: nothing
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He replied with a smile on his bloodied face while licking his bloody fingers:"Thank you for the meal"
You approached him and gently patted his head in a tone of happiness and pride.
"Good boy, bless your work."
He happily replied to you: "If it wasn't for your grace *panting* I wouldn't have had this opportunity..."
"Haha I'm happy for you"
You wiped the blood from his face with your soft hands, and in front of everyone, you kissed his cheek with a gentle kiss as a reward for what he did, and to prove to everyone present that every action that pleases you has rewards.
Scara froze, his face completely red, his mind foggy, unable to comprehend what had happened.
"Come on, don't be shy, it's just a kiss on the cheek."
You lightly patted his shoulder with a cheerful expression and a smile on your face.
Yet he was still speechless, so a diabolical thought came to your mind, you came close to his ear and whispered in a sexy voice...
“Since you were ashamed of a kiss on the cheek, what if I did more than that to you?”
The boy jumped up and became redder so that you could imagine steam coming out of his ears.
He cried out in confusion and tension, raising his hand to cover his face: "Your grace!! .."
"Ha-ha-ha-ha, it's really fun to bother you."
Hold your belly from laughter and raise your wrist up and down in your words.
"Sorry, but I'm just happy..."
Wipe away the tears of laughter and adjust your posture
"..."
Scaramouche looks away shyly but his happy feelings run through your veins and tell you everything going on inside him.
"Well where were we? Oh right..."
You turn with a smile at the shocked crowd and say loudly and clearly: "People of Inazuma!! Archon Electro has fallen into a deep sleep, and I hope everyone wishes her sweet dreams..."
"Are you kidding us!? She's dead!!"
A manly, angry voice yells at you and emerges from the crowd with his distinctive features.
"Itto?... I made it very clear, however I'll repeat it for the last time... Raiden Shogun is asleep!!"
From a tone of astonishment to threatening looks presented to your celestial bodies that reflect the image of Demon in front of you.
"Hmmm? Did the cat eat your tongue?"
You give him a sarcastic and calm look while observing every change in his body and features.
Itto: "..."
He growled angrily and fell silent and left the place, Tsaritsa standing behind you would have followed him and punished him, but you gave her permission to let him go in peace.
Tsaritsa: "But your grace, upon insolent ones like him, is death."
You: "No need..." A small smile formed on your lips when you remembered how badly you wanted Itto on your party and how much primogem you had spent hoping to get.
Tsaritsa: "You are more merciful than your grace is required..." in a calm voice and respectfully bowing behind your back.
You: "I don't think so..."
Your face showing sadness leaves Archon Cryo at a loss.
You walk towards the crowd and it allows you to cross through it.
You stopped at the terrified Thoma and Ayaka and your eyes focused forward: "I'm sorry..."
Then I continued walking to nowhere, you went down the stairs and heard footsteps rushing towards you.
“Your grace, where is our next destination?”
Tsaritsa's quiet voice turns you down and disgusts you. You didn't know why, but you didn't want to hear her voice now.
"Don't follow me."
Your voice is uncommonly firm.
"Your blessing ⁓"
You interrupted her with unknown fury: "Don't follow me!! Can't you just carry out my orders for once without speaking!?"
A severe ice storm attacks Archon Cryo as a reflection of your anger, and your ban disappears.
After the storm had passed, Tsaritsa did not find you in front of her, and from your strange behavior, she worried about you, it is not in your nature.
She went up to where the crowd was and stood before them and said in a cold and audible tone: "After an hour has passed, everyone should search around Inazuma for our dearest blessing, search every inch, nook and corner, in caves and raids, under bridges, search in every unimaginable place. "
The crowd remained silent, and their features did not suggest that they had obeyed the order of Archon Cryo.
“I am not as merciful as our grace, so any inaction in search pays the price with his life.”
Her cold tone, her frightening gaze, and the coldness of the air, which had suddenly increased, entrenched her words in their minds, and they all scattered as the flies.
*****
after hour...
Everyone started looking for you as Tsaritsa commanded them, the night has come and the search for you is still going on.
Sara and her soldiers are searching for you in the city...
Yae Miko, who heard the news of her lady's death at the hands of a Teyvat maker, didn't mind, but she had to look for you to renew a contract with you and become your pet...
Ayaka and Touma's family are looking for you outside the city in the woods...
And the rest of the characters too...
After everyone searched all the parts of Inazuma, they did not find you, so Tsaritsa thought that you left Inazuma, so you left in turn with Scara and the rest of her soldiers...
Thoma came home after a stressful day and decided to take a hot bath, he entered the bathroom to fill the bathtub with hot water and when he opened the door what luck, a beautiful naked girl relaxing in his hot tub.
His face turned red as he looked at your relaxed picture, and as soon as you opened your eyes to look at him, he closed the door so hard that he almost broke the glass.
"Sorry for the intrusion!!"
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If you like my writing, please support and publish it. Thank you. There will be a sequel soon, so look forward to it
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seriouslysnape · 4 years
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Hi!❣️ Your writing is pretty cool, and I love the way you portray Sev, especially!
If it isn't a bother, of course... Could I make a request? Where Snape and the Reader are expecting, and go through all the nine months (like, through things like cravings, mood swings Snaddy has to endure, buying the child's stuff and decorating the room, all of that), till delivery? Only if you'd like the 'prompt', of course.
Wish you a nice day☺️
I LOVE THISSSSSS. YES DAD SEV >>>
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Paternal Figure
Severus Snape x Fem. Reader
Warnings: Language, Emetephobia, Sexual implications.
Word Count: 5,161
“We’re going to be one happy family.”
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“How much longer?” Severus questioned, eyeing the pregnancy test that was lying face down on the bathroom counter.
You looked at your wrist watch that was secured on your trembling hand. You saw that it had been more than enough time for the pregnancy test to do its job. A quivering sigh flowed from your chest as you reached for the test with trembling fingers.
“It should be ready.” You replied.
Severus sat up straighter from where he sat on the bathroom floor, his blood pumping with eagerness and nervousness. You held the test to your chest for a second with your eyes closed and head lulled towards the ceiling.
You and Severus wanted a baby badly. After being married for a few years, the baby fever was becoming harder to resist between the two of you combined. It started out as a casual thing. Severus first briefly mentioned how there was still an empty room in the house that needed to be occupied. You assumed that he meant as an office space or maybe even a large walk in closet.
But when Severus suggested that the two of you turn that space into a nursery, you knew what he was implying. You had always wanted to have kids with Sev. In the beginning, Severus wasn’t totally sure how he felt about having a baby. He wasn’t great with younger people, and he was always afraid he wouldn’t be a good dad.
However, the longer the two of you were together and the more life you shared together, the more he wanted nothing more than to put a baby in you. He wanted to raise a child and teach it all the wonders of the wizarding world. He wanted your baby to be perfect.
The two of you sat and chatted for a long time about it, not wanting to rush into things. It was a huge deal after all; bringing a human into the world was a life changing ordeal. You talked it over, and you both happily agreed that you would start trying for a baby.
You admittedly became a little obsessed with getting pregnant in the first few months. You tracked your menstrual and ovulation cycles much more than usual, eventually memorizing everything down to the minute. You tried any wizard (and even a few Muggle) tricks in the book to increase your chances of conceiving, including basically pouncing on Severus any chance he was around.
If you had a free minute to spare, you were shoving him into bed and having sex with him. At first, Severus found it rather endearing that you were so excited to have a kid, but he became concerned as time went on. Getting pregnant isn’t always a quick process. Some women can so much as look at their husband and get results while some spend a better half of their life trying to even get a positive pregnancy test.
You were proving to be one of the harder cases.
With each negative pregnancy test, the more frantic you became. You felt like your fertility window was closing in on you rapidly, and if you didn’t get pregnant soon, it’d be too late. The first few negatives didn’t phase you much, but by the fifth or sixth, you were feeling discouraged. Severus was much more patient than you during all of this, holding you flush to him when you burst into tears of frustration.
It had become a monotonous and vicious cycle. You’d try to get pregnant, buy a pregnancy test, get a negative result, and fall into a weeping heap onto the bathroom floor. After one particularly hard let down, Severus stepped in. He was rocking your sobbing frame in his arms, hushing you and comforting you as best he could.
He suggested that the two of you take a break for a while, and that maybe you were trying too hard. The stress couldn’t have been good for you as a whole, and maybe taking a more casual approach would be best.
“Here’s what I’m thinking, my love. You and I take this step by step. We continue life as normal,” He said softly; “If you get pregnant then that’s good, and if you don’t, then we remain calm and try again. If much longer goes by, then we can go see your doctor.”
You nodded into his chest with heartbreaking sobs, agreeing that this had taken a huge toll on your body. You apologized for your crazy behavior, but Severus only gave a light laugh and kissed your head.
“No, no, my dear. Don’t be sorry. I want this just as much as you do.” He consoled, sweeping you off of the floor.
You were a bit apprehensive about Severus’ approach to this, but you were willing to try anything. Fast forward a few weeks later, and this was the first test you had taken since taking Severus’ advice.
“Sev...” You croaked out; “What if it’s negative?”
You were sitting against the door in your tiny bathroom, Severus sitting on the wall across from you. Your knees were almost touching one another’s as he replied.
“Then we accept it, take a few days, and try again. It’ll be alright, [Y/N].” He reassured, resting a hand on your knee in a loving way.
You exhaled deeply, already half expecting to be disappointed. You nodded, and quickly flipped the test so you could read it. Your heart hit your feet and bounced back into your ribcage at the sight. You were stoically silent as you stared in silence at the test.
Severus was watching with a clenched jaw, prepared to comfort you in case it wasn’t what you wanted to see. You kept looking at it for a few more seconds to make sure you weren’t dreaming. The double pink lines were as clear as day.
You were pregnant.
Tears filled your eyes, but they were tears of happiness. You turned the test so he could see it.
“It’s positive,” You said, smiling through the tears streaming your face; “We’re going to have a baby.”
Severus’ jaw fell open and stars of delight shot over his eyes. He himself gazed down at the test as if it would explode right in his hands.
“You’re pregnant...” He breathed out.
You nodded, wiping away at the tears with a genuine laugh. A blinding smile appeared on Severus’ face as he moved to pull you into a tight embrace. A few tears leaked from his eyes as well, the two of you mumbling “I love yous” to each other as you cried out the adrenaline and undeniably glee that you were feeling. It had almost been a year since you started trying, and now it seemed that it had paid off.
You were going to be parents.
__
The first trimester of your pregnancy was less than pleasant. While you were eternally grateful to be carrying your first child, you weren’t too thrilled about the symptoms that came with it. You were violently sick for the first few weeks, basically bringing back up anything you tried to hold down. Even something as mild as pumpkin juice was enough to make you sick just from the smell.
As disgusting as it was, Severus was by your side any time you fell ill.
“It’s okay, darling. Let it all out.” He soothed, rubbing circles onto your back as you let out another hurl.
You seemingly puked up everything you had eaten in the last ten years into the toilet bowl, a new groan escaping your chest every time you had a chance to take a breath. Severus kept your hair out of your face as best as he could, trying not to visibly grimace every time you threw up.
You closed the lid of the toilet for a minute, draping your arm over the top of it and resting your forehead on the heated skin of your forearm.
“Don’t look at me. I don’t want you to see me like this.” You grumbled miserably.
He gave a chuckle, and even though you couldn’t see it, he raised his left hand to reveal his silver wedding ring.
“In sickness and in health.” He said, wrapping his long legs around your from behind, resting his head on your back.
“I think this is an exception to that vow.” You joked, hoping that the relief you were feeling was to signal the end of today’s sickness.
Severus hummed.
“I think that this is exactly what it was referring to,” He corrected, his heart fluttering when you lifted your head with a weak smile; “Just as beautiful as ever.”
You snorted at that, but you were heartwarmed.
“How did I ever deserve you?” You asked, falling into his open arms.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
When you were actually able to have an appetite, you wanted any and every food imaginable. The pregnancy cravings were insanely hard to ignore, and it was even harder to ignore the weird things you craved.
“What...is that?” Severus questioned cautiously as he entered the kitchen, catching you in the middle of biting something he couldn’t even discern.
You looked at him with wide eyes and stopped mid-chomp. You didn’t respond, not even sure how to explain this to him. His gaze averted to the open pantry, and saw that mostly everything had been raided and placed on the kitchen counter. He had noticed that satisfying your cravings had proven to be the most difficult thus far. He inspected the food item in your hand and his stomach lurched when he realized what it was.
“Is that a treacle tart with...” He trailed off, barely able to finish the thought.
You finished his sentence, rather ashamed.
“...pickles.” You confessed.
Severus was sure that his face had turned a nasty shade of green at the thought of your concoction. He shuddered and made you put it down. You had always been creative and experimental in the kitchen, but this was too far.
“Okay, I’ve been supportive of every strange food combination you’ve come up with, but I draw the line at treacle pickle tarts.” He said with a voice full of amusement.
You whined.
“I know it’s weird, but I can’t help it. Everything we have sounds good.”
He scratched the back of his head. He never liked to tell you how to live your life, but there was no way that this was good for you or the baby.
“I don’t think Little One is going to appreciate pickles and desserts.” He noted, placing a hand on your very small baby bump.
“Little One” was the nickname that he had coined for your developing child. You and Severus had decided early on that you wanted to keep the baby’s gender a surprise up until delivery. Severus hated to keep referring to the baby as...well, “the baby”. So he had instinctively come up with all kinds of nicknames along the way.
“Well, I’m pretty sure that Little One is the only reason I want pickles.” You snapped back.
“It’s not the pickles. It’s the pickles with the tart that I can’t stomach.” Severus explained.
You sneered at him, but Severus continued before you could snark back at him.
“I’ll tell you what, princess. How about we whip up a bunch of your favorite foods, and we’ll have a nice dinner together?” He offered.
Your belly grumbled at the sound of that. You nodded in agreement, and you and Severus prepared a heavenly meal.
On top of the all day morning sickness and the nauseating cravings, your hormones were going absolutely nuts. You had never experienced such frequent mood changes like this, and poor Severus was the victim of all your emotional outbursts. It seemed as if you were blowing up at the smallest of details.
“Damn it, Sev. How many times have I told you not to leave your socks on the floor?” You hissed, angrily picking up his dirty socks.
Severus poked his head out of the bathroom that was adjoined to your bedroom, a guilty look on his face.
“Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I left them there.” He said truthfully.
“Just like how you didn’t realize that you left the sink faucet dripping or how you forgot to put the pillows back on the bed when you got up at 10 in the morning?” You mocked, throwing his socks into his laundry basket.
He caught how aggravated you were, and exited the bathroom to talk things over. Severus didn’t want you to be upset with him, but he knew you were just going through a lot of changes and couldn’t really control your emotions well.
“I assure you that I didn’t do those things on purpose,” He said, not even an ounce of irritation in his voice; “I’ll pick up after myself.”
His light and friendly tone made you realize that you had overreacted once again. Severus had not once lost his temper with you, no matter how bad you had nagged him. Your shoulders slumped and you looked at your feet that were close to being covered by your steadily growing bump.
You felt bad for being on his ass about something 24/7. He was trying his best to help you and make your pregnancy as comfortable as possible. You yelling at him all the time wasn’t fair to him.
“I’m sorry, Sev. It’s not you.” You uttered for the hundredth time in the last three months.
He only smiled and pressed a kiss to your forehead.
“Not to worry, my dear,” He mewled; “I can handle being screamed at for as long as it takes.”
__
The second trimester was actually easier than the first as far as symptoms goes. Your morning sickness had subsided, you had adapted to your ever changing hormones, and you weren’t tempted to eat everything in sight. While the symptoms were still there, they didn’t completely dictate your life.
You and Severus were well into the finer intricacies of planning for the arrival of your baby boy or girl. You were in the process of converting your extra bedroom into a nursery, which was a challenge for Severus. He was a shitty interior decorator, which wouldn’t be an issue if he hadn’t insisted that he decorate the baby’s room.
Severus wanted to be as involved as possible, never wanting you to think that he wasn’t there for you. You were ecstatic with the idea of him taking charge of the nursery, but you soon realized that wasn’t a good idea.
“We are not painting the baby’s room BLACK, Severus.” You protested, eyeing the cans of black paint on the floor.
Severus had gone out and bought all kinds of paint supplies. Paintbrushes, paint rollers, stencils, tape, etc. He was adamant about doing it all by hand (as opposed to using magic; a suggestion that he was horribly offended at), and had taken it upon himself to buy everything.
You had forgotten that there wasn’t much color interest in the world of Severus Snape.
“And why not? There’s black in other parts of the house.” He argued.
You put your hands on your hips, your back beginning to arch from the weight of your five month swelling belly.
“Yes, but this is a baby’s room. I don’t think he or she is going to like it,” You retorted back; “It’ll be too dark and...scary. I want Little One to be comfortable in here.”
Severus looked around. Perhaps, black was too extreme for such a small human. He looked a tad defeated and disappointed in himself. He was trying his hardest. You caught his dejected look.
“Oh, honey. I know you want it to be perfect,” You said, taking his face into your hands; “We can do it together. Maybe we can sneak a bit of black in here somewhere.”
He nodded.
“So, what color should we paint the room?” He asked.
You looked around this time, biting your lower lip in thought. You wanted to have gender neutral colors, and something that would be cozy for the baby.
“How about we paint the walls white? That way we can add pops of color wherever we see fit.” You said after a moment of thought.
Severus agreed, but was holding to your promise to have at least some black in the room. The nursery was an ongoing project, lasting about a week and a half. The crib was the last item placed in the room, and it was complete. You and Severus stood in the middle, basking in the finished nursery.
“It looks great, S.” You said, looking at the black painted changing table and the mobile above the crib.
“It does. I’m glad you helped me.” He admitted, eyeing the moving pictures on the walls.
You wrapped your arms around your husband’s waist, his lips falling to your head in response.
“We’re going to be one happy family.” You announced.
Severus laughed into your hair, his heart beating with hope.
“We already are.”
You had officially made it past the halfway mark, and your due date was quickly approaching. There was still so much to do, and not a lot of time to do it. Your bump was already huge, and you still had another trimester to go. You were getting to the point where swollen feet and an aching lower back was crippling your ability to go out and do much.
You were laid out on the sofa with Severus rubbing your tired feet. You were fighting the aching pain in your back and legs from the unevenly distributed weight from your midsection.
“I really need to go out today.” You winced as another round of soreness flooded your body.
Severus’ careful hands continued to massage the aching muscles of your feet.
“Why, love? You can surely go on a day where you’re feeling in higher spirits.” He said.
While he wasn’t totally wrong, you were at the point where every day was the same as the last. You had a feeling that you wouldn’t have a “higher spirits” day for a while.
“I suppose I could. But I need to get baby clothes, pacifiers, bottles.” You grunted, exhaling heavily.
You really needed to do this, but you just weren’t feeling up to it. Then you had an idea. Since Severus didn’t get to put all his effort into the nursery, you thought you could give him a second chance.
“Severus, could you possibly go out and buy baby stuff today?” You suddenly asked.
You were honestly expecting him to say no, considering he knew nothing about baby fashion. Instead, his face brightened and he leapt up from the couch.
“Of course! Why didn’t you just ask?” He queried, giddy with joy.
You laughed at his anticipation, giving him a few instructions.
“Alright, Sev. Don’t buy anything ridiculous or anything that’s made of uncomfortable material,” You said; “And do NOT get anything Slytherin related. As much as you would like it, we have no clue what Little One is going to be sorted into when he or she is old enough.”
Severus groaned.
“Not even a-”
“No Slytherin stuff.”
“Well, what about a-”
“No, Severus.”
He groaned again, but accepted your request. As badly as he wanted his daughter or son to be a Slytherin, there was always the chance that they wouldn’t be. He’d love them regardless of what House they were in, but it would tickle him to death if they were a Slytherin.
So Severus went out into Diagon Alley with extra pep in his step, jittery as he went from store to store getting stuff for his little girl or boy. Severus had never paid much attention to baby clothes, and now that he was looking, his heart was swelling with excitement.
There were so many cute sweaters, onesies, socks, and pajama sets that absolutely made Severus burst with joy. He would pick out about a dozen outfits to start out with, knowing that you’d have to go buy more once the baby was older. But each time he thought he had enough, he’d spot two or three more outfits that he just had to buy.
He could not WAIT to see his baby in all of this stuff. It had obviously been a while since he was a child, and he was amazed at all of the new things that had been invented to make parenting easier and childhood more fun.
He bought a pacifier for every day of the week, and enough toys that would last your kid through kindergarten. He bought blankets and stuffed animals and anything else that a baby MIGHT want. Your baby was going to be spoiled to the max.
Truth be told, Severus went a little overboard with his purchases. He came back with no less than ten bags full of baby materials. You not-so-gracefully lifted yourself from the couch when he entered, several bags hooked onto each of his arms. He had a proud smile plastered on his face.
“Oh Merlin, Severus! What all did you buy??” You questioned, eyes bugging out at all the goodies in front of you.
“Clothes, pacifiers, bottles. Everything you asked for.” Severus stated innocently, you rifled through the bags at all the baby wonders.
“And toys, blankets, and stuffed animals.” You finished his list.
You looked at Severus with an entertained smile, his cheeks glowing red.
“I just want Little One to be happy.” He shrugged meekly.
You let out a soft “awh” and captured his soft lips in a sweet kiss. He already loved this baby so much that it melted your heart.
“With you as their dad, they absolutely will be.”
__
You had never been happier to enter your third and final trimester. You were in the home stretch, and you were so excited to meet your baby. You were about to pop like a balloon and, quite frankly, you had enough of it. Don’t make any mistake about it, you had cherished every moment of being pregnant, but you were ready to get some somewhat decent sleep without being kicked in the ribs every 5 minutes.
Although, with a newborn around, you weren’t sure how much sleep you would get.
Over the course of your pregnancy, Severus had become more and more protective the more your baby grew. Now that your due date was only a few days out, he jumped at any sudden movement or noise. He had eyes and ears like a hawk. He came barreling into the living room, completely naked and dripping with water from where he had just stepped into the shower.
“Darling, what was that? Are you alright?” He asked frantically as if he had just heard an airstrike.
You looked up from your book, readjusting the pillow that was underneath your massive belly to support the weight.
“Severus. I sneezed.” You declared.
Relief washed over him, and he ran a hand through his damp hair.
“Oh. Do you need anything?” He asked you for the millionth time that evening.
You laughed shortly, nodding your head.
“Yes. I’m fine,” You said; “Please try to enjoy your shower.”
Severus had been on your tail nonstop for the last three weeks. Even though most pregnancies go the full 40 weeks, your doctor said that labor could be expected once you hit 36. Sev didn’t want you out of his sights in case you went into labor early. He didn’t want to miss anything.
You had begged him to break away just for a minute, for his sake and yours. He padded back to the shower, ignoring the way his heart was thumping in his chest. You went back to your book, grinning to yourself at your anxious husband.
Once Severus was showered and somewhat calmer, you had grown tired and were ready to get in bed. Growing and carrying a baby had really tanked your energy levels, but Severus didn’t mind going to bed early. As long as he knew you and the baby were safe, he was content.
He laughed out loud when you slid into bed wearing only a pair of panties and a t-shirt that you had used a spell to stretch out. It was the only sleepwear that fit you due to your risen belly.
Getting comfortable was next to impossible, but you had gotten used to it over the last few months. You didn’t mind, because you knew it’d be back to normal soon. Severus was eyeing your tummy, looking to you with expectation once you were settled.
“Go ahead, Sev.” You giggled, knowing what he wanted.
Every single night since you had been pregnant, Severus would rub your belly and tell the human growing inside of you goodnight. Severus shimmied down to where his face was in front of your bump. He lifted the shirt up to reveal your bare belly. He left a kiss on the stretched skin, carefully placing both of his hands on you.
“Hello in there,” Severus said, smiling proudly when he felt the baby move at the sound of his voice; “Are you still kicking your mother?”
You even nodded at that, thinking about all the times that the baby had soccer kicked your ribcage or hit your bladder just right. You placed one hand over one of Severus’, and put your other in his hair as he spoke.
“I’m so ready to meet you. I love you so much already. Other than Mum, I never thought I could ever love someone this much,” Severus spoke gently; “You two are my whole world.”
You rubbed his hair as you listened. Severus had been nothing short of amazing during this process. He was more than you could ever ask for. This baby was going to be loved endlessly.
“I don’t know how great of a father I’ll be. I didn’t exactly have ideal parents. I admit that I don’t have a model to go off of. But I will love you no matter what,” He spoke; “I hope you sleep well, Little One. I can’t wait to see you.”
He pressed another kiss to the side of your belly, before returning to your side. You were misty eyed at his words, turning so you were facing him.
“Oh, Severus. You’re going to be a wonderful dad. I’ve seen the way you love this child,” You assured; “Little One is going to love you. And there’s no one else I’d rather bring a baby into this world with.”
Severus still had a modest amount of nerves, but it was drowned out with joy. He was so ready for this baby.
“I love you.” He whispered.
“I love you, Sev.” You whispered back.
You leaned to kiss him, but just as your lips touched, you felt a contraction and a massive gush of fluid flushed out between your legs, soaking both of your lower halves. A startled gasp fell from your mouth, and Severus eyes grew about three times their normal size. You both knew what that meant.
Little One was about to make his/her entrance into the world.
__
Getting to the hospital from the time that labor began was a blind rush. Severus was positively panicked, which didn’t help your attempts to remain relaxed. He had spent 9 months preparing for this moment, and he was still caught off guard.
The hospital was busy, but you had a team of nurses and doctors ready to go. You were wheeled into a delivery room, your doctor checking to see how dilated you were. He let you know that you had one of the fastest dilations he had ever seen, because you were already at 10 centimeters. There was no time for an epidural or a spell.
It was time to push.
The nurses got your legs into delivery position, Severus taking your hand as the doctor and nurses guided you through it. You gave a hard push, screaming bloody murder and squeezing the circulation out of Severus’ hand.
“You’re doing great, my love. Keep pushing.” He praised you.
Your head fell back onto the pillow with gruff, heavy breaths. You were filled with a pain you couldn’t describe. You needed this baby out. The doctor gave you a second to rest, before instructing you to push again. You took a deep breath, every muscle in your body tensing up as you pushed. Severus scrunched his nose at how badly you were hurting his hand, but he didn’t dare say anything.
The baby’s head and shoulders were out, ear splitting cries echoing through the room. It was the most beautiful sound you had ever heard. Severus peeked between your legs, and you saw the way his face filled with pure love as he saw your baby for the first time.
“Oh, [Y/N]. Little One is gorgeous...” He breathed, wanting you to push again so you could be able to see; “Push again, darling. You’re almost there.”
The nurses and Severus were encouraging you as you pushed hard a few more times, your baby finally entering into the world. Severus was a little too squeamish to cut the cord, but he watched every single movement as the doctors and nurses cut the umbilical cord and got them cleaned up. You were breathing heavily, your entire body shaking from the strenuous action. You whimpered out to Severus, who had a better viewpoint than you did.
“Is the baby okay? Please tell me the baby’s okay...” You whined out, desperate to see him/her.
Severus was close to crying, but it was the happiest he had been in his entire life.
“The baby is perfect. You did so well, my love.” He said, kissing your sweaty forehead.
The chaos in the room died down, and one of the nurses had swaddled the crying baby. She gave a huge, kind smile and set the baby in your arms.
“Say hello to your baby girl.” She cooed.
Tears fell from your eyes as she was placed into your arms. Her cries dwindled out at the feeling and sound of your and Severus’ voices. She was the most stunning baby you had ever seen. Severus felt something awaken in him. A side of him that had been itching to come out.
“A girl...oh, a girl.” You cried happily.
Severus sniffed, holding back tears.
“She’s beautiful. She’s perfect.” Sev croaked.
He placed a kiss on her forehead, her small baby whimpers making his heart explode. The two of you sat in silence, raking over your baby’s perfection. After a minute, you looked up at Severus with a smile.
“I just thought of something we have to do.” You said.
Panic flashed over his face again. You had done everything he thought. What could there possible be to do?
“What is that, darling?” He acquired.
You giggled, kissing Severus’ cheek.
“We’ve got to pick a name for her.”
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