#discussing SUBCONSCIOUS influences is another story

[shootingstarpilot]

Out of pure interest :

What was the most braindead, stupid, media literacy lacking, idiotic take on the Jedi you've seen so far.

Like we all know the classic genocide apologists, Stanakins, Grey Jedi edgelords ect. But was there ever something truly jar drobbingly stupid you've witnessed ?

HAHAHAHA DEFINITELY ANSWERING THIS IN A TIMELY MANNER YESSIREE-

But, in all seriousness, this is an excellent question, and thank you so much for it! Honestly, you pretty much hit the nail on the head with all the classics there, but I guess there's one thing that baffles me the most- and this isn't so much a singular take as it is a trend-

Why do anti-Jedi folks seem so insistent on ignoring Lucas' words?

Like- fine. You know how it is, everyone's entitled to their own takes on a piece of media regardless of the author's intentions. It's a significant part of fandom activity. But a tendency I see a lot on pro-Jedi posts is anti-Jedi folks straight up ignoring included testimonials from Lucas in their attempted rebuttals that actually, no, that's not the story that was being told-

Look. Have your own take. That's fine. But there's a difference between that and trying to put your own interpretation in the author's mouth when the author in question has repeatedly explained the themes of his story! Explore these ideas all you want on your own time, on your own blog, in your own fics. But don't try to argue that it's the story Lucas was trying to tell.

[myun-saidthoughts]

12th House Synastry: The Darker Themes That May Manifest

I made a post about Neptune and 12th house synastry awhile ago (here is the link to that: Understanding 12th house synastry)

In that post, I explained how this synastry can manifest between partners, but I didn't discuss the darker side of it or discuss why those darker themes are present in the first place.

To start off, some of the more common dark themes associated with this synastry include deception, lies, addiction, and hidden agendas. This synastry also can indicate being the other woman in a relationship or one party may have a commitment to another person that the other party isn't aware of (such as one partner is married, engaged, or involved with someone else). If there is 8th house synastry involved (like Pluto aspecting inner planets or 8th house overlays), power dynamics may emerge, with one person holding an authoritative position. Age gaps or factors such as work hierarchies, status, reputation, social circles, or cultural influences may also prevent the two parties from publicly showcasing their relationship.

The reason these dark themes manifest is influenced by many factors, the primary one being the person's core nature. If they are spiritually awakened, aware, compassionate, or empathetic, the themes mentioned above are less likely to arise within the connection. Ultimately, who a person is at their core will dictate how these connections manifest.

I have read many 12th house/Neptune synastry stories, and one major red flag that stands out is what is often 'hidden' within the relationship. While this synastry can evoke profound, otherworldly feelings, there’s a risk that the person you’re pouring your love into may only be a projection of your perception of them. This is tied to how you view yourself, your understanding of love, and your willingness to be vulnerable.

This synastry naturally clouds and confuses the relationship dynamic, if you have natal 12th house placements, Pisces placements or Neptune aspecting your own inner planets then the influence of falling into the web of what you think is, instead of what actually is; is more likely.

For example, the reason you may be drawn to, influenced by, or dealing with these dark themes has to do with the level of commitment or love you're ready to process. You may consciously state that you desire a deep love, but if you look at your past patterns, you might notice that you often fall for the people you claim you want to stay away from. You may say, 'I deserve better,' or recognize that the type of love you're offering is not being reciprocated. While you may be consciously aware of this, you still find yourself in connections that reinforce the image of love you say you want to change.

This has to do with the fact that there are still subconscious self beliefs that are operating within you; these beliefs may be so deeply rooted in your subconscious to the point where you are not even aware of it, and the reason why these dark themes are able to manifest within your life is because the people you are choosing are reiterating the self belief you're "comfortable" with. I say comfortable because it's what feels known within you, this person creates a feeling within you and though they may logically be wrong for you in so many objective manners, the fact that you can feel drawn towards them is what is causing you to want them, especially if you struggle with emotional vulnerability, or if you find it hard to actually form feelings towards another. This person is (in essence) allowing you to form feelings because their presence/actions reaffirm the same self beliefs you've been dealing with throughout your life.

This type of synastry even becomes more nuanced when the 8th house is involved, oftentimes if you are not aware of your own self inner wounds this type or interplay can cause such chaos. This is especially true if you are choosing someone who wants to use you, or if they have their own inner battles that they ignore. In essence to stay aware of the connection at hand:

Look at them at face value instead at the value that you give them.

Stay aware and acknowledge the fact that their own actions and choices act as a true unit that showcases their true feelings towards you.

Understand that even though you're able to understand or empathize with their struggles doesn't mean you should justify their actions.

The feeling you feel with them is already sitting within you; if that wasn't the case you wouldn't be drawn to them in the first place. Therefore that scarce mindset where you may feel like you need them to allow romance in is only a facade that keeps you at a distance of receiving reciprocal love.

This again is an extreme case but I wanted to make a note.

Another thing I want to note is that with this synastry, you might feel an intense draw toward the other person, as if you’ve known them in a past life (because how could someone create such deep longing within you if that wasn't the case?) This might create the connection to be very thought-provoking, and the longing you experience can manifest instantly in moments when you're not with them; this might lead you to believe that you share a deep, once-in-a-lifetime connection. However, the person you are drawn to may actually be a projection of your own desires for emotional fulfillment, especially if they are an objectively lost soul struggling with personal battles such as addiction or ongoing affairs.

The reason why individuals often state that 12th house and Neptune synastry can indicate past life connections is that this type of synastry evokes similar feelings of longing, wishes, and desires. In my experience with both, I understand why people associate Neptune/12th house synastry with past life connections. However, this synastry often creates a sense of longing while leaving more questions than answers.

With past life connections, you may instantly feel a deep longing for someone you’ve just met—their eyes seem familiar, and their touch feels sacred. In contrast, when Neptune and the 12th house are involved, there’s a crucial difference. Instead of a sense of certainty, there’s more wondering, thinking, analyzing, and fixating. You might convince yourself that you know them by creating intense, otherworldly feelings within you.

In genuine past life connections, there’s an unexplainable, intuitive sense that you’ve met before, without needing proof or logical understanding. You feel deeply connected without questioning it. This is a key difference that more people should recognize. If there are more questions than an immediate intuitive knowing, the likelihood of it being a past life connection is much less.

In summary, the main difference with Neptune/12th house synastry vs past life connections is there's a "without a doubt" mentality that you've known them before. The main reason why theres an association with 12th house synastry and past life connections is because this synastry genuinely mimics the same deep rooted feeling of longing or what if scenario's. This synastry causes you to create feelings within where it'll feel like you two have been together before but that doesn't mean these feelings are rooted in the deep seated knowing of "I've met you before" like true past life connections are like.

(which is why it's very difficult to differentiate and I can understand why but within, you will have moments with them and if out of no where you say "this has happened before" or "it's so easy with you" or if 5 hours feel like 10 minutes, then the chances of them being a part of your past life is more likely; and you can feel this way without even having any intense 12th house synastry with them, you don't have to have 12th house synastry with someone to showcase a past life connection).

That said, there can be times when you may be dealing with 12th house or Neptune synastry and you may consider yourself an open or healthy lover, yet still encounter these themes. You might fall for someone who isn't who they appear to be. Stories like 'We have been dating for two years, and he is an addict' or 'I am engaged, but he has another wife' illustrate this. These examples are extreme, but I believe can occur because this synastry can cloud judgment. That's why it's important to evaluate the relationship at its core rather than relying solely on your perceptions.

If you find yourself dealing with these themes or have dealt with them in the past, it's important to recognize that the other partner may not have any real love for you. This is why the 12th house is often associated with 'hidden enemies.' These individuals may not be hiding their true selves, but in your perception, the person they actually are is someone you haven't been able to see. Or in another sense this individual just held and hid parts of them from you, and because of how clouded this synastry can be, falling victim towards these connections is more likely (but like I always say entire natal charts and who the person is at their core dictates the severity of what can occur within these connections).

Another intriguing pattern in this synastry is the tendency to be drawn to darker themes, often finding yourself attracted to someone who seems in need of saving or fixing. The spiritual connection you feel may arise from a deep longing to help them, as their internal struggles compel you to give endlessly. Their internal struggles causes you to give and give which ultimately keeps you at arms distance within the connection. Especially since they can't formally give you the same love you are giving them, and this stems from the fact a part of you doesn't believe you deserve the type of love you fantasize or long for. That being said, the dreams you have about them or with them, and the coincidences that keep occurring could very well be reflections of the emotional fulfillment you desire, and doesn't paint the fact that you two are "meant to be"

This pattern can also be linked to unrequited love. When this occurs, it mirrors what I’ve mentioned before: you find yourself falling for someone you can't truly have. You become infatuated with the person you imagine them to be, rather than who they actually are. You create scenarios in your mind where you’re together, longing for a connection that has never existed. All of these patterns stem from a fear of embracing reciprocal love.

It feels easier to desire someone rather than have them; it's more comfortable to long for the idea of a partner than to actively choose someone who can choose you in return. Such dynamics are more prevalent when you struggle with emotional closeness and vulnerability. Selecting someone whom you subconsciously know won’t or can’t choose you can feel like a safer option.

I explore this concept further in my original 12th house synastry post, so feel free to check that out for more insights.

The main point of this post is to remain aware of your own wounds, self-undoing patterns, and emotional fears regarding romance. The self-giving nature you choose to engage in can create a block to receiving the kind of love you’re capable of giving to others, often stemming from a fear of being in a reciprocal loving relationship. If you stay aware and offer yourself inner healing then the chances of falling in relationships where these dark themes can occur is less likely.

Note: I believe that if you have strong Pisces placements, 12th house natal placements, or Neptune aspecting your inner planets, as well as a broken attachment style or a tumultuous relationship with your mother, you may be more susceptible to experiencing these dark themes in your reality. If you fear love yet simultaneously long for it, these factors can be significant indicators. Conversely, if you do not have these characteristics, the intensity of such themes is less likely.

[whiskrs]

Despite this being a VERY long post, I’m not really gonna add much of value to the conversation regarding Imane Khelif that hasn’t already been said. This is more…a case study on intersectionality based on tumblr posts and news articles.

If you have trouble conceptualizing or accepting the concept of intersectionality and why it’s incredibly important, just read through the “imane khelif” tag here while paying attention to what exactly the op is defending/arguing. You’ll see mostly 3 things:

First, Imane Khelif is a WOC. In addition to the white western world seeing non-white features as masculine, she is forced to endure an increased level of scrutiny before the starting bell even rings (exacerbated by the fact her opponent was white and cried.) This is the power of white woman tears. This is an issue of racism.

Second, Imane Khelif is collateral in an ongoing war against trans people. All the usual suspects have come out of the woodwork to galvanize an increasingly violent reactionary right wing group into escalating restrictions and hatred against trans people under the guise of protecting women. This is an issue of transphobia.

Third. Imane Khelif is assigned female at birth, but maybe* has higher levels of testosterone and is rumored* to have xy chromosomes. Whether or not this is true, she is being discriminated against for her perceived DSD. This is an intersex issue.

*based on the findings of an unsubstantiated corrupt test that honestly shouldn’t have been given in the first place

The thing is all three of these are true. Fully and completely true. However any truth here taken by itself will miss some of the picture. You need to put it all together for the full story. I’m a white trans woman in the US, so I’ll look at it through that lens, but you can honestly fit these pieces together in another order, that’s just my life experience so I can speak on it.

This would make the whole story:

Imane Khelif is a woman who won an Olympic boxing match. She is from Algeria, which means that; as far as the US white republican is concerned, she’s black. And due to centuries of institutional racism, black is seen as inherently masculine and violent. But they aren’t self reflective enough to realize that they’re being racist or even that that’s a racist belief. “Racism is bad and I’m not bad!” Why does everything have to be about race??” They’ll say. (Note: this is VERY SPECIFICALLY about the subconscious perception of black bodies as violent that like. My dad holds. Your aunt. White people who don’t understand their racism and don’t ACTIVELY and CONSCIOUSLY act on it)

Unsurprisingly, the same kind of person who has ingrained racist body standards are also violently anti-trans, and for now it’s still “ok” to hate transgender people. There is no “transphobia is bad and I’m not bad” here. In the states, republicans (and too many centrists and liberals) are in full on “these things are degenerate and need to be gone” mode. It’s in vogue, it’s what they’re reading about on twitter, it’s what their fave influencer is rage baiting about.

So they see a black woman, perceive her to be violent and masculine, THEN they hear that she may be intersex or she has high testosterone. Which means nothing to my dad or your aunt, but it sounds like what they’ve been mad about! My dad is more likely to think intersex is a new gender than know what Swyres Syndrome is. So this, in their racist perception, violent and masculine person is pretending to be a woman! Trans ideology woke mind virus save the women etc.

They’re using racism as an underlying force, aimed with intersex allegations, to attack trans people.

Or just as easily from a perspective I can’t speak on:

They’re using trans hatred as an underlying force, supported by intersex allegations, to attack WOC.

And:

Intersex identities are being used as a tool for hatred while being whole sale ignored in a discussion that directly affects them.

So where does that leave us? Well personally I think the intersection between these groups/identities/people is easy to see when scrolling through her tag. When one person is talking about race and the next post doesn’t even mention where she’s from, it sticks out like a sore thumb.

If we can’t take all of these points into consideration, and instead (like I’ve see in more than a few posts) claim one groups oppression to be “what’s actually happening” then you miss the whole picture of what’s happening to YOU. Without intersectional thinking, I missed the component of racism that is fueling this fire, and the intersex component that was the starter. How am I meant to put out a fire if I can’t even figure out if it’s grease or electrical? Im too busy burning to wonder how it’s gotten this far

[thoughtfulchaos773]

The Bear Season 3 & Meta Filmmaking II

with the opinions & work of William Friedkin

This is who Richie is this season.

Here is Part I on meta filmmaking, where we discuss the first branch of the film legacy: Hitchcock, who inspires the meta filmmaking choice this season and self-reflexivity- the director surrogate, Richie.

Richie, as director surrogate, guides us through dialogue inspired by William Friedkin.

The part of the legacy Storer took from Chicago native Friedkin was his passion for filmmaking and his opinion on the movies and the industry itself. Friedkin considered the Academy Awards as a fool's errand to pit art against art, and Richie's dialogue on The Star System for Restaurant highlights this.

Interestingly enough- did Storer tell his own prophecy? Before falling off Hollywood's grace, Friedkin came from a high of two highly acclaimed films (like The Bear's two highly acclaimed season), Friedkin was riding off a high from The French Connection and The Exorcist, but his third film received mixed reviews. I'm wondering if this season was Storer's big fuck you to the Hollywood System and Awards System.

Another note: Hitchcock's Vertigo received mixed reviews from critics but now is referenced in filmmaking legacies.

We haven't seen Storer give any awards speech, have we? Calo has shown up, but no Storer.

Legacy not only comes from the work but also comes from the opinions of those before you.

For Friedkin's work- it can be taken as part of the legacy and why most of us here are seeing all sorts of horror inspiration this season.

The Hitchcock-Friedkin legacy.

Fun fact: William Friedkin's Exorcist- well, exorcist steps- where the priest falls to the death were informally called "Hitchcock steps"for famed suspense and horror film director Alfred Hitchcock. But is now referred to as The Exorcist Steps. Legacy!

If we go based on other legacies—based on William Friedkin's opinions of Hitchcock, he inspired the editing of Friedkin and his understanding of suspense, which influenced his movie-making skills for The Exorcist. @moodyeucalyptus explained they see parts of Mike Flanagan's Haunting of Hill House as we discuss the hauntings of this season. How is Mike Flanagan part of the Friedkin Legacy? He was inspired by the workings of the exorcist and is now part of the new remake.

Another horror inspiration: Now how is Friedkin related to another horror legacy that @espumado wrote a meta on this week?

The exorcist legacy comes from the Night of the Hunter legacy.

Carmy: Like, um, something would start somewhere, and then, uh, people would take that thing and then they would take it somewhere else. So, all these parts of an original restaurant would end up at a new restaurant, and that kind of thing. That would happen over and over again. And then all these parts of all these restaurants, they would sort of…You know, they would find each other. And then new people would take those parts and put ’em into their restaurant. And the whole thing, it would, um… It would start to happen all over again.

This is all about legacies and meta on where Chris gets his parts.

But how does this relate to Sydney and Carmy?

As we talked about before, Richie is observing. Friedkin, whose legacy comes from Hitchcock, believed Hitchcock was Observational in his directing. Richie the character included himself in the narrative but the one narrative he stayed out of and only observed this season was Sydney and Carmy.

Richie is the director's surrogate, who highlights and explains the basics of why Carmy is the way he is—not who Carmy himself thinks he is but what the audience can take from Carmy's self-sabotage.

The story we are observing is correct. This dynamic between Syd and Carmy is worth examining because it is a central part of the story and a big aspect of the filmmaking process.

I'd say it's proof! Richie is telling us our eyes are not deceiving us; the dynamic is interesting.

As an audience, we subconsciously absorb the cinematography, music, direction, and dialogue, taking cues on the story being told and its inspirations. Another ledge that can show us that their synergy is legit its filmmaking technique in editing.

Friedkin-Scorsese-Hitchcock favorite part of filmmaking is the editing. Scorsese is the best example of this, and I'll explain his legacy in editing in the next part and why that relates to sydcarmy.

Read:

Hitchcock and His Use of Surrogates

Ancestors and The Bear by @whenmemorydies

Richie and The Viewer by @whenmemorydies

Natalie & Night of the Hunter by @espumado

The Bear Season 3 & The Mirror @currymanganese

Richie's Journey is not Over @currymanganese

The Paradigm Shift @brokenwinebox

Taglist: @yannaryartside @whenmemorydies @ago0112 @chaoswillcalmusdown @ambeauty @anxietycroissant @turbulenthandholding @tvfantic87

[randomfandomblabdom]

I have so many issues with the Anastasia musical...

It seems to me that the writers put certain moments in the musical simply because moments like that happened in the movie but instead of comprehending why those moments worked in the first place, they made what they most likely assumed would be small insignificant changes that only ended up fucking with the narrative as a whole.

One of the best examples of this is Dimitri and Anya's dance lesson during Learn to Do It. This takes place far too early in the show for it to mean anything substantial. The dance lesson happens at a very specific point in the film and has an equally specific purpose narratively. It is only after a time jump montage during Learn to Do It where it's implied Anya, Dimitri, and Vlad spend anywhere from several days to several weeks traveling together, that Dimitri and Anya's dynamic naturally shifts into something warmer than what it was several scenes ago. You, as the audience, do not question this shift because you know, subconsciously, that they've been spending a lot of time together and have developed a deeper relationship and possible romantic feelings for each other as a result. It's given its due time to make sure you as well as the characters understand that. The musical has no deeper meaning or realization attached to it as the two characters haven't spent a substantial amount of time together where those subconscious blanks would be filled in for you. Trust me, I understand that time jumps can be difficult to do convincingly in a stage production but this is live theater, you need to get creative about these things... or move Learn to Do It further back in the show. Yes, there's a line of dialogue that implies that it's been at least a couple of days but that's harder to grasp when there are no visuals to support it. It feels like Learn to Do It happens over the course of several hours. Instead of two people who have been traveling together for implied days/weeks and have become friends realizing their feelings towards each other may have shifted into more romantic territory, it feels like acquaintances realizing they merely find the other person attractive or perhaps not as bad as they thought. The musical takes all of the build-up and context and mashes it into one number that doesn't end up working the way I think the writers thought it would. I wouldn't mind the dance being so early on if Dimitri and Anya were given any other moment of realization that was allowed to breathe. And don't say In a Crowd of Thousands...

Speaking of, I love that song. It's gorgeous. It's become one of my favorite Broadway love songs of all time, I've been listening to it non-stop for the past week. Does that mean I'm peachy about the changes that were made just because it's connected to a pretty song? Hell no. I have sooooo many problems with that scene as a whole. I'm not gonna waste my time talking about the changed backstory, I'm sure that and how it completely diluted the story has been discussed at length and I'm fully aware that changes must be made when transferring media from one medium to another - animated movie musical to live stage production in this case - but these changes are just absurd to me. Dimitri literally just told Anya to essentially make up her side of his story as if she truly was the princess Anastasia riding by in that parade all those years ago. His bowing could very easily be something she just made up on the spot and convinced herself it was a real memory, Dimitri's reaction to it would be enough to tell her it was. They've been trying to convince her she is Anastasia, she may be just convincing herself things she learned actually happened to her at this point. Not to mention, yes, Dimitri didn't tell her that detail of the story but of course, a commoner would bow to royalty, how does that prove anything to him? It doesn't help that he just told her his side of the story which could easily influence her line of thinking. In the film, not only is Anya's memory of the boy opening a wall something she couldn't have guessed or made up even if she tried, proving beyond all doubt to Dimitri that she's the real deal but the subject of the princess's possible survival is not something that has come up before as evidenced by Vlad and Dimitri's nervous reactions when Sophie (Lily) asks that question. Nothing is influencing her thinking there. The whole interaction in the stage production makes it seem like Dimitri just suddenly falls in love with her because he just found out she's the princess when the film makes it abundantly clear that he is so far gone for her long before that information comes to light, their romantic tension fuels the dramatic tension once that's revealed. Both adaptations have an almost kiss and unfortunately, only one of these adaptations puts it before that revelation. In the film, it follows the dance lesson sequence. In the musical, it’s placed directly after that big revelation and it just feels… kinda wrong.

I think I'm gonna stop there. I have so many thoughts written out that I could probably write a multi-page essay on this and maybe I'll make a full post on it but I needed to get at least some of my thoughts out before my head exploded and those are some of the things that were most prominently sitting on the tip of my tongue. I could go on for hours about how the music box was entirely misused, the total misunderstanding of the song Once Upon a December, how the Empress's choice given to Anya towards the end is almost explicitly about Dimitri instead of how it's explicitly about her granddaughter's happiness in the film, and don't even get me started on how Anya realizing she's Anastasia at the same time as Dimitri kinda fucks with the last 15-30 minutes of the story...

It's all so disappointing honestly because this musical had all the groundwork to become a phenomenal show - good songs, a good story, a good romantic duo, fans who grew up with the film - and, in the right hands, I truly think it could've become a Best Musical winner but instead, it turned out to feel like an amateur production on a Broadway stage with two really likable lead actors that had really good chemistry together and ended up doing most of the legwork for getting people to look over the fact that it wasn't nearly as good as it could've been. In all honesty, I did not realize how tightly written the film is until I started picking apart the musical and now I think the film is one of the best-written animated films in Western media.

This isn't meant to bash anyone who enjoys the musical. You don't have to agree with me. I do genuinely enjoy parts of the show and think it did certain things well. Christy Altomare and Derek Klena were absolutely perfect casting, I like some of the added songs, Journey to the Past happening when they get to Paris and Meant to Be happening before the ballet are outstanding placements for both songs, the costume design was more or less gorgeous, and I do think excluding all of the supernatural aspects was the right call...etc. but those are just some of my scrambled thoughts on why I have such an issue with the writing in this show.

[pigeontheoneandonly]

Storm Warning

Read on AO3

David Anderson barely glanced up as the shadow of an asari fell across the bar.  Asari crests formed a distinctive silhouette, even distorted by the poor lighting, and there was only one asari likely to come looking for him just now.

Menea didn’t request an invitation. Instead, she sat down and helped herself to his beer.  “To be frank, I expected I’d find you drowning in harder stuff.”

He grunted. The day’s events—hell, the month’s events—hadn’t left him in the mood for talk.

But Menea rarely needed any assistance to hold together a conversation.  “Not that I’m mourning your restraint.  At least you should be coherent.”

Events had left him short of patience, too.  With an edge, he said, “What can I do for you, Spectre D’Sorn?”

“Don’t fret. I’m not here to relive your humiliation. I’m here about a plan.”

Anderson snorted. “What plan?  Even your influence with the Council won’t outweigh failing my spectre evaluation to the tune of losing an entire colony.”

“One town. Don’t be dramatic.”  A hint of amusement crept in.  

He looked at her for the first time.  “This isn’t funny.”

“No, it’s not,” she said, switching to English as if to underline her point.  “Saren is a problem.”

“Don’t get me started.”  Actually, a big part of Anderson wanted nothing more than to get started.

She was pure exasperation. “I mean for the galaxy. The Council.”  Then, “No offense.”

That broke through his fog of morose.  “Now I am confused.”

“A few of us are talking about it.”  Meaning spectres.  “Quietly.” As if it could be discussed any other way, Saren being who he was, a spectre’s spectre, and a respected turian to boot.  

She fidgeted with the pint.  Probably figuring out what she could say openly, in this venue.  “Even for Saren, this was wild.  I have…concerns.”  

“Blinding hatred will make a man do strange things.”

“Maybe.” Doubtful.  “This was more than that.  Your presence meant he got to pin the mess on you.  But he couldn’t certain it would stick, not certain.  And the one thing Saren Arterius would never risk is his own reputation.  There’s some deeper motive.”

“What?”

She drank.  “That’s what’s keeping me up nights.”

“I’m not in a position to assist,” he said, shortly.  “Saren saw to that.”

“He did.” And there was an oddness to her tone, a piece falling into place.  “He eliminated the one sort of candidate not inclined to trust him on strength of title or reputation alone, because humans didn’t grow up enmeshed in galactic culture. Isn’t that perfect.”

It hadn’t struck him until then.  Slowly, he turned it over in his mind.  “Saren is a lot of things.  But I can’t picture him a…”

Traitor hung unspoken on the air.  Menea heard it just fine.  “Is there another human candidate?”

Anderson’s subconscious pushed forward an image, incongruous with the conversation—an eleven-year-old girl, absolutely incorrigible, with more gumption than half the Alliance marines, and currently ensconced in the limited family quarters aboard the Tai Shan.  It left him disconcerted.  

Menea fixed on his expression, misreading.  “There is someone.”

He shook it off, and shook his head.  Took back the beer and sipped.  “I can give you names, but it won’t help.  What you need now to get past the Council is a model soldier.  Perfect record.  No mistakes. No misjudgments.  Not even a whisper of insubordination or independent thought.  And if that soldier exists and if we find them, all that means is they won’t be capable of looking outside the box.”

“Which is a baseline requirement for special tactics.” She sighed.  

They sat in that defeated silence for several moments.  Then he cocked his head.  “Why do you believe me?  Most of my own command barely buys my story.  You never questioned it?”

She took a long drink, taking her time.  At length, she said, “I’ve examined your record in excruciating detail.  We’ve spoken to your skills, your personal and professional history, your mindset, your ethics, many times—officially and otherwise.  I’d like to think I’ve taken the measure of you.”

Menea rolled the glass between her palms.  “And you have integrity.  Maybe too much for us.  You’d lie to save your life, you’d lie to defend others, but over a matter of politics? No.  No, you’re not that sort of liar.”

“Saren is?” he asked on a hunch.

She drained the pint and set it down with a click, shoving back from the bar.  “Something’s not right.  Stay in touch.”

Then as she made to go, he said, “Thank you.”

Her gaze was very sober.  “Thank me when we win.  A storm’s coming, Anderson.  Attend to it because not enough of us will.”

And then like a shadow, she was gone.  

[geometricalien]

AkaFuri Actor AU anon here!!

Ok so Furihata agrees to be Akashi's fake lover on the condition that the camera lenses never catch any glimpse of Furihata's face. Ofc, for someone as powerful & influential as Akashi, that can be arranged. In fact, Akashi has to acknowledge Furihata asking his face to remain hidden is an absolutely brilliant move on his part.

For weeks, they keep dodging any paparazzi that are nearby. It's nerve-wracking if Furihata is being honest.

Eventually, things calm down & the press moved on to other actors & actresses to sink their teeth in.

This gives Akashi plenty of time to get to know Furihata better. And vice versa. They talk about their likes, their dislikes, & just each other's story in general.

Everything goes smoothly until the topic of basketball comes up. This becomes the first thing that they mutually shared a love with. Not to mention both of their positions as PGs.

One thing Akashi learned is that Furihata became a motormouth whenever he talked about basketball, railroads, biology, shopping, books & omelet rice.

But after some time, Furihata suddenly went quiet. He stopped talking & looked at Akashi cautiously, which is another habit that Akashi noticed from Furihata.

Why the sudden halt? Akashi enjoyed listening to Furihata's rambles.

But before he can ask, Akashi's phone chimes. There's a notification. He gets an invitation to attend the annual gala in 2 weeks' time. And he's allowed to bring a +1.

Fast forward to the gala, Akashi comes with Furihata, who keeps fidgeting with his suit.

Things are going well until dinner time, where Furihata finds himself seated next to HIM.

The executive whose name carries a powerful influence in the entertainment industry. Someone who can make or break potential stars. Someone who gets to decide what films & TV series are being produced & which ones would be canceled. Someone who's respected in Hollywood.

Someone who made Furihata's life a living hell when he was still in the showbiz.

Furihata freezes. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to forget all those horrible memories away. But no matter what he does, those unwanted memories rise to the surface again.

HIS touch, HIS caress, HIS strokes, Furihata remembers it all. He subconsciously shudders.

Furihata excuses himself, rushing to get away from HIM as far as he can. He didn't miss the hungry look & predatory smile HE directed at him.

Furihata enters the bathroom & locks himself in one of the stalls. He curls himself into a ball, trying to muffle his sobs. But he let his tears flow freely because no one's watching him.

He doesn't come out of the stall for the rest of the night.

To the paparazzi and public Kouki’s identity is hidden, known only as the Kouki the lucky brunet who has managed to sweep Akashi Seijuurou off the market. And for the most part that's how it stays, their relationship is perceived as a deeply caring one where Akashi shields his beloved from the media.

For appearances sake though they do go out on dates at restaurants where Kouki is buried at Akashi’s side as they go in or out. During interviews Akashi makes sure to sprinkle in references to their "relationship" but refuses to give details as "They prefer to keep their relationship private." He will often say something off the cuff like "My boyfriend insists on watching Train to Buscan every Halloween, I think it's so he can focus on the train itself instead of the gore if it gets too much." Which is completely true and surprises Kouki to no end that he actually?? Listens?? AND remembers??? Like yeah sure Akashi can read a script once and remember most if not all the lines- but that's work, not, not Furihata Kouki filling the silence on their "dates".

Of course the most zealous of fans start creating a profile of the brunet based off of the tidbits Akashi reveals here and there that after a couple of months begins to rival a profile made by the fbi.

And of course there are discussion boards at the far ends of the internet where a waitress might post how they were doing their date. And even once a blury picture of Kouki’s face since she snuck out here phone which was against the rules of the restaurant. And again people keep saying he looks familiar but can't put their finger on it, that is until later on when the very same person is able to take a steady picture of him. The news spreads like wildfire overnight.

However that same night happens to be night of the gala. It had occurred to Akashi to not tell Kouki of the plus one, to just go by himself as he has in the past, and he even planned to do just that. But the longer he stared at the email, at the box that he could type Kouki's name into and ensure the brunet's warm easy company for an evening, an itch grew in his fingers. It was rare for Akashi to find someone he could speak to without losing any energy. Someone who- who speaking or listening or simply being in the presence of truly rejuvenated him. He knew it wouldn't be honest and that he would be breaking the rules they lined out for their arrangement but Akashi did it anyways.

"Are you free on the 12th next month?"

"Uhh, yeah? I think so. Why?"

"There is an annual gala that I will need your company for."

"Okay." Kouki shrugged. Little did they both know the storm that would be quick to follow.

Luckily the gala was masquerade themed and allowed Kouki the anonymity he requested from the cameras at the entrance. Beyond that point it was safe to remove the mask as everyone there treasured privacy and if anyone recognized Kouki, they wouldn't leak it out.

And by the cruel twist of fate, they were sat with Him. Kouki could hardly even look in His direction, it took everything in him to not shake the table, and even then he could only pick at the lavish meals placed before them. During dessert he couldn't handle it anymore. He felt it all coming up. Muttering an excuse to Akashi, he pushed away from the table and ran to the bathrooms.

Kouki's not sure how long he has been in there when he hears a knock on his stall. Could have been hours or minutes.

"Kouki?" It's Akashi. He let's him enter and it takes only one look for Akashi to know, what He does is not a secret by any means and Akashi must have realized how odd he had been acting during the entire meal, there's no way Akashi hasn't put everything together.

When he looks up he expects to see anger or even pity on Akashi's face but its... apologetic. A guilty wince.

"You found out didn't you..." that's not right. Akashi has misstepped. Danced out of rhythm but before he can correct it Akashi pulls him into this new beat. "We need to get you out of here."

It comes slowly. The eyes thrown their way as they leave. The whispers. The buzzing of his phone in his pocket. And then they're outside quickly descending the tall stairs, only a few security guards are around but it's not enough to stop the cameras and reporters from swarming them like a pack of hungry wolves.

"Akashi Seijuurou, how long have you two been together?!" "Akashi-san, have you seen the articles just published!?" "Furihata Kouki, what drove you away from the public eye!?"

There's a drop in his stomach like a heavy stone, like a plummet from a rollercoaster, like an anchor of a ship- and he would have froze if Akashi wasn't there pulling him forward to the waiting vehicle.

Inside and away from the flashing cameras, Kouki is catatonic. Staring blankly at the carpeted floors and not hearing anything Akashi may be saying.

Two hands cup his cheeks and push his head up so he meets two red eyes.

"Are you here with me?"

The question, the voice, the two rubies jut Kouki back. He nods and he nods again. Tears flow down his cheeks again and Akashi's heart breaks. He pushes Kouki into the crook of his shoulder and wraps his arms around him trying to contain the pain and sorrow emanating from Kouki. They stay like that for a long while.

[ellie-bygrave]

Affect Theory and The Outer Wilds

**MILD SPOILERS FOR THE OUTER WILDS AHEAD**

What is Affect Theory?

Affect theory is a complex and detailed topic. It focuses on how emotions can physically affect us without our conscious knowledge, influencing our actions and relationships (Figlerowicz, 2012). It aims, in part, to explore the link between unconscious affect and the resulting emotions and actions. Tomkins (1962) categorised 9 primary affects by whether they cause positive, neutral, or negative physiological expression. For instance, the positive affect of joy/excitement creates a physiological reaction in which the person smiles. Conversely, a negative affect such as anger will cause frowning and a clenched jaw. These physiological reactions to the affect can inadvertently display how we are feeling to others and can then influence the situation we find ourselves in.

Tomkins goes on to discuss that the ideal way to live is to maximise the positive affect in our lives and minimise negative affect where possible. Kelly (1996) echos this sentiment, stating that intimate and successful relationships require working towards maximising positive affect and eliminating negative affect. Additionally, Kelly theorises that such relationships should involve the members to express affect to one another in order to see progress within the relationship.

Anable (2018) applies the concept of affect specifically to video games, demonstrating that, rather than allowing us to escape from reality, they in fact force us to confront our emotions. Anable discusses how video games make us feel differently towards failure and how that can influence our everyday life.

The Outer Wilds

The Outer Wilds (2019) is an Annapurna Interactive action-adventure game set in a fictional world where the Hearthians, inhabitants of a small planet, have mastered space travel. The unnamed player character sets off on their maiden voyage out into space, only to realise they're stuck in a 22 minute repeating time loop, in which they are they only person who remembers the previous loops. Each loops ends in a devastating but beautiful collapse of the solar system's Sun as it goes supernova.

The game is non-linear, with the playing having to travel to multiple different planets in order to piece together the mysteries of the solar system and put an end to the time loop. The gameplay is unique in that, if the player knows the correct sequence of actions required, they can complete the game within just one time loop. However, the game is one which undoubtedly rewards the player for exploration, with the true story unraveling through the exploration of the world. The end goal only really holds meaning once the journey has been completed to its fullest potential.

Affect in The Outer Wilds

As this game is played from the first-person perspective of a silent protagonist, there is no influence on the player from an emotional point of view of the player character. This by no means negatively influences the emotional impact this game has.

Firstly, this game has an incredible way of making the player feel lonely, despite the opportunity to interact with others on every planet. Aside from one other person, no one but you is aware of the time loop. Speaking with each character when you hold the weight of the terrible thing about to happen to the whole solar system is eye opening, and the charming and unique personalities of each character increase the sense of responsibility you have to the people of your planet. Usually a lonely feeling would come under Tomkins' negative classification of affect and cause negative physiological reactions, but instead it subconsciously increases the drive one has to solve the mystery and prevent the destruction of the solar system. There is one other character who is also aware of this time loop, but they seem to be ambivalent about the situation. This is slightly shocking - despite the calm and collected disposition being fairly common across the Hearthians, and, again furthers that internal drive to solve the mystery.

Throughout the whole game, failure is painted in a different light to in normal life, and even compared to the norm in video games, as Anable (2018) discussed. There is no real failure in this game, as everything the player does can further the plot in some way. Even dying simply restarts the cycle with no penalties and any information discovered during a cycle gets logged for you, so there is no real sense of failure. This lack of consequences unconsciously drives the player towards a more reckless style of play, with the voice in our head that would normally promote caution instead saying "why not try it and see?".

Whilst not heavy on horror elements, the game certainly plays on fear. One planet requires you to drift through misty caverns following lights and signals to your goal. This area is also home to giant angler fish, who will swallow your ship whole, causing the cycle to start over. Through exploration, the player eventually learns that they are completely blind and can only locate you if you attempt to speed through the area, creating lots of noise with the ship thrusters. The next time entering the planet is a whole new experience. The distant noises of the angler fish combined with the misty atmosphere and looming shadows of the fish creates tension, the need for silence especially so. This undoubtedly causes a physiological response, with the player mirroring the need for silence as they play.

To Conclude

Although video games can sometime create affect that we would usually associate with the negative, the lack of real-world consequences to this can be used to drive compelling and thrilling stories. Whilst the events in the game are not real, the emotions and responses created by games very much are.

References

Anable, A. (2018). Playing with Feelings: Video Games and Affect. Minneapolis, University of Minnesota Press.

Figlerowicz, M. (2012). Affect Theory Dossier: An Introduction. Qui Parle, 20(2), 3–18. https://doi.org/10.5250/quiparle.20.2.0003

Kelly, VC. (1996). Affect and the redefinition of intimacy, in Nathanson, DL (ed.), Knowing feeling: Affect, script, and psychotherapy, New York: W.W. Norton, pp. 55–104

[canyouheatmeuponafrozennight]

Enuma Elish

Like Ajax, rather than a review, I only have assorted thoughts. It might be a little hard to get feelings for a cosmogony, but there is much to think about it (as shown by how my edition had the tablets in 100 pages and 300 pages of discussion on them)

Raised by RPGs, including the tabletop kind, Tiamat to me was FHD woman for most of my life. Finding out now that she is a water goddess is about as much as a shock as finding out Bahamut is not Megaflare Dragon, but an enormous fish.

There is an ambivalence in how she is treated in the book that my edition denounced as just sexism, and it is possible that it was just the values of the time truly, but seeing through modern lenses, I can swing it both ways. In a nutshell, the male gods are trying to convince another bigger man to be the one to kill Tiamat, as she is just a woman, and a woman can't beat a man, of course. They say so after surrendering before her, knowing they can't defeat her. This is a masculine behavior, toxic masculinity if you will; A man will downplay, underestimate, belittle a woman, but as a front to not admit the inferiority they feel to her, when she's greater than them. I don't necessarily think a character exhibiting a flaw is endorsement by the author, even if it's the good guys, so I can see this scene as social commentary. They're cowardly cowering before Tiamat, seeking someone else to fight her, but still thinking she's "just a woman." It is unsightly behavior, and unbefitting for a god, a fool would take it at face value, but I do think maybe the author was being critical of the behavior.

Tiamat is very interesting as a character, as a primeval goddess, I'll probably think about her for much longer, and most likely will let her influence my future writing too. Marduk is a bit interesting, but there's little to create or imagine around him. Being a storm god who slayed a dragon/serpent who then turned into rivers, I can see a little of Susanoo in him, though, which is an interesting cultural inheritance, but the overall aspects of the stories are so different I wouldn't boldly claim Susanoo descends from him.

-x-

Why do you think myths so often feature patricide? Cronus kills Uranus, and is then killed by Zeus. Kagutsuchi kills Izanami on birth. YHVH is too ultimate to be killed, but instead gets betrayed by Lucifer then by Adam. Egyptian myth also isn't exactly the same, but close enough via Horus and Set (I think this episode is very close to Ea and Apsu, despite everything). In Enuma Elish, Ea kills Apsu, then Marduk kills Tiamat. I think the root of it is in how the child is meant to surpass the parent. The authors of all these theogonies, either intentionally or subconsciously, all portrayed that in their work. (Paradise Lost diverges in that rather than the new surpassing the old, it is how the child must leave the nest, but still is a story about the relationships of father and child.)

-x-

What is the world they are in before the world is created? I see it as being Tiamat's womb. She is in the world, and she is the world, they're all inside the waters of her womb. The "net meant to capture the insides of Tiamat" to me means "the net that captures the Tiamat that is inside."

The initial world was just water, no sound, no movement. With the creation of the gods, sound appeared, and the old ones hated it. Ea kills Apsu, and creates a blank space within Tiamat, where it used to be Apsu (if you see the two being united as a Yin Yang, the masculine side of the water became void or air now). In this void, Ea could create Marduk, the ultimate god without any influence from Tiamat or Apsu (I'd liken this to the birth of a human free from the Original Sin; setting aside whether that human would be a godslayer, they'd surely exhibit 10 times the aura of the average man too).

Now that there is space/air, the winds can be created, and the wind creates waves in this world of water. The stillness is broken, both sound and movement exist and those who enjoyed the lull that was existing can't take it anymore. To me this is the most significant part of the story, the biggest message, in a way: Those who want to preserve the status quo will try to annihilate those who bring change, and this myth validates those who break the stillness. It says that the correct path is the path that kills the dogmas. This patricide, more than any other, denounces the old ways (the ways of our parents) and pushes the children to be the creators of their own ideal world.

However, it doesn't blindly order the children to knock down the sandcastle and invent something new: The new world is created from the remains of our parents. Apsu and Tiamat are both used to create the world, Kingu is sacrificed to create humankind. Doing away with the old isn't scorched earth, it's evolution, it's development. "Rebel, but not without a cause."

[katescomsformakers]

Week Two Reflection & Video Analysis

Class Overview:

This lecture was mainly focused on the assumptions and stereotypes we internalise as people. The initial discussion was surrounding the "pink hammer", a tool that was marketed towards women due to its colour. We unpacked why this is so problematic - how it is degrading in the way it spreads the narrative that women only care about how "pretty" things are. That women need to have separate tools to men, and women using tools is seen as a novelty and out of the ordinary, therefore a separate set must be created "for them". The second half of this class was to watch "The danger of a single story", a Tedtalk done by a Nigerian woman about her experiences with assumptions and stereotypes.

Tedtalk - Key Points

As children, we are at our most vulnerable and impressionable. This is when stereotypes in our heads are created. Through the kids around us, media we consume and those we look up to (e.g parents, older siblings) sharing experiences or spreading rhetoric, we develop expectations for people. As a child, you are just beginning to shape your own understandings of the world around you, which is when the words of others have the most influence over you

Another idea was that stereotypes are not necessarily untrue, but incomplete. That only one side of the story is being told. This is the danger of a single story, that only the negative side is being told, leaving no room for the flip side - the reasoning, the cultural "norms" and that are behind it. If one narrative is shown over and over again, that is what people will become in your head, even if its only subconscious.

Power is the ability to tell a story about someone and make it definitive. This idea ties in with privilege. For example, someone with privilege can use their platform to spread negative rhetoric and have influence others because that person automatically has people who will listen to them. Meanwhile, POC and other minorities may not have as much opportunity to use their voices, share their culture and challenge these stereotypes in the same spaces due to marginalisation that is deeply engrained in western culture.

How Have I Made Assumptions?

Growing up and throughout high school I was surrounded by kids from all different backgrounds and cultures. I remember when first visiting my friends house I was nervous as they were from a different country, and I assumed they would have vastly different practices and rules from my household which made me apprehensive to even visit at all. The idea made me uncomfortable as I didn't know what to expect, I wasn't sure if I would be welcomed as I was not familiar with their "norms" and was in fear of offending or embarrassing my friend or their family. However, during my visit I came to realise that they weren't that different from my family at all, and I really appreciated the exposure to another culture and educating myself on their ways of life. I learnt as long as you are open minded and have good intentions, mistakes are okay, as they are how you learn and grow.

[findlayccarter]

Film Research - Composition for a thriller

My focus so far when researching the genre of thrillers for a grad film has been on lighting. I think I've been looking at this purposely as I see it one of my weak points in cinematography. Lighting setups are something that can be tricky to visualise, and although I think I've improved a lot, I want to make sure I have the right planning and fundamentals for the grad film.  Regardless, I want to discuss composition as it’s something I've been thinking about a lot when reading the initial plot Tom has created. We’re having a meeting tomorrow so I'm sure the plots direction will become clearer, and more detailed research can be made based around the location and crucial scenes. 

In terms of composition, I think I've always been drawn to a certain style, and this has been influenced by Roger Deakins heavily. Foreground elements is something that I always liked doing as it’s an easy way to add depth to an image. I don’t think being influenced by Deakins is a bad thing and I don’t think it’s something I've done on purpose. I just know that I've seen a lot of his film’s multiple times and I think I've subconsciously been drawn to doing similar techniques in composition specifically in my own work. This isn’t something that I want to change, I want to ensure however that these techniques are used with good reasoning. For example, with the idea of using a foreground element. What does it do apart from add depth to the image? When planning shots, I want to make sure that they’re doing something for the story instead of just looking pretty – an example of a foreground element being useful to the story could be that the shape of the element draws you towards something important in the frame.

Another thing that Deakins does, along with many others, is having a frame within a frame. This is most done with windows or doors but can be done in other creative ways. This adds depth to an image, but also draws the viewers’ attention to the action/characters while establishing a general context for the location. However, the perspective of this frame within a frame can create a lot of different feelings. Having a shot of the inside of a room looking out a window at people can have a lot of connotations. Of course, it depends on the context but it could suggest desperation of a character, or even have a more sinister meaning of someone stalking these people. 

When I begin to plan out shots for the grad film, I also want to be more experimental with the composition. An example of this (not pretending that this is super unique) is the POV shots they used a lot of in Breaking Bad. This was showing the perspective of an object for example, picking up a bag of money - the frame would be looking up out of the bag of money at the person carrying it. Sometimes the effect would be getting the actor to move the camera out the way. This created this realness to the series, as if you were part of the world. I’d like to experiment with things like this and putting elements in front of the lens that would represent the camera being behind something. This was something that really stood out to me in Eva’s cinematography last year in the film ‘The Performance’. It was a scene in the shower and the camera was pointing up as if it was in the plug hole. It was a unique way of shooting something like this and I thought very engaging and it’s something that I think in the context of a thriller could create a very creepy feeling for the viewer. It’s still early days of planning but I want to create a feeling that the viewer is in the same situation as the character without sensing it directly through the characters eye-line. 

[evakuality]

love hearing authors talk about the writing process! (even though i can't write for my life, ha) 66 - 72 please and thanks much

Oh yay, another one! Unfortunately without the fic/s you want to discuss I can't really do 66 or 67 but I'd be super happy to do them if you want to send some titles :D

68. Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way you do? I don't even remember the names of the two fics that had the biggest impact on my writing. But one was a really interesting 'what if' wish-granting fic where the main character gets a wish and ends up regretting it because the consequences weren't as happy as she had hoped. The other was a very well written popular fic in an old fandom of mine. It was sparkling and alive and had literally the best OC I've ever read. I would 100% have read original fiction about that character and he was such a great addition to the main cast from the fic itself. The first influenced my liking for both 'what if something changed' - like my bang fic from last year - and also for skewing the topic a little. It took something 'normal' and tried to examine it from a different angle and I think subconsciously I've always tried to emulate that fic. The other fic influenced both the way I approach OCs and the way I try to write dialogue and character interactions.

69. What are your favorite fics at the moment? I haven't read anything in a really long time. I have no idea why, but for the last 6 months I've been really distanced from fandom and fandom stuff. So tbh my favourite fics are still the ones in the rec lists I've made over the years.

70. Are you subscribed to any writers on AO3? Nope. Because I am tech illiterate and didn't know I could do that.

71. Do you spend more time reading or writing? At the moment it's definitely writing - I started on this fic a week ago and have 20k words already. And as I said before I haven't been really involved in fandom so much lately. But usually I do a bit of both. There's something lovely about writing new things about the characters I love, but there's also something really nice about diving into an already-written story and just hanging with the characters as well.

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten? Someone once told me that my fic was the only one they'd ever bookmarked and it was partly because the characters were 'consistent-yet-different' and I just really really appreciated that idea. That even in an au this person appreciated that I try to keep the characters consistent with canon

[rhys-ravenfeather]

Okay, so some context.

First things first, little preteen/teen Rhys spent a LOT of time on various websites in the 2000s (dw, I didn't get into anything I shouldn't have). One of these was a website called 'TV.com', which I don't think is around anymore? Anyway, in my teenage years I was also into the Holy Trinity of cartoons involving kids transforming: Danny Phantom, Ben 10, and yes, American Dragon. So I spent a lot of time in the episode guides and message boards of those cartoons specifically.

Anyway, at some point, one person in the AD:JL message boards pops the question of what Jake and Rose's kids in the future would look like (also quick side note: I was actually kind of indirectly responsible for bringing up this discussion, but that's another story for another day ^^) I don't remember much else from that discussion, but this one person came up with a couple Jake/Rose fankids--a pair of twins where the girl inherited Jake's dragon powers and was also in the Huntsclan? OP posted some drawings of her in her human and dragon forms, as well as her Huntsclan outfit, along with her brother, who DIDN'T have dragon powers, and was just in the Huntsclan (and was also blind).

It has been years now and my love for American Dragon hasn't really carried over like other cartoons I loved as a kid, but that one little thing may have helped subconsciously influence me and my own original story, even in just a small way.

The realization is really starting to sink in on me that another thing that might have inspired my decision to give some of the OTO characters three different forms (at least later down the line) was one piece of American Dragon: Jake Long fanart I saw as a teen years ago.

[paramourtuary]

Mephisto Walz in Propaganda (Issue no. 22 1995).

Transcription below.

The story begins nearly ten years ago in a dark, smoky L.A. club called Fetish. Two mysterious, raven haired men dressed in all black sit in an unlit corner discussing their future and the future and of the L.A. music scene. Their names are Rozz Williams and Bari-Bari. As the leader of the legendary death-rock cult band Christian Death, Rozz has just [illegible] Bari to join his morose crew of musicians as the band’s new bass player. Christian Death is thus set to tour for their infamous ASHES Lp that has Rozz doing vocals along with Gitane Demone, Valor on guitars, and David Glass on drums. The rest, as they say, is history.

Ironically, Rozz would leave the band less than a year later. Bari-Bari and the others would bravely press on, even without the band’s guiding focal point. Club impresario Johann Schumann joined as the new bassist and Bari moved to guitars, with Valor moving to vocals. BELIEVERS OF THE UNPURE and ATROCITIES were this line-up’s crowning achievements. Shortly thereafter, Bari and Johann left to form Mephisto Walz, and thus another legend was born. With the help of such underground luminaries as James McGearty (of the original Christian Death) and Rob Graves (of 45 Grave), Mephisto Walz created some amazing music. THE ETERNAL DEEP Lp, released last year, contains a nice selection of songs from the ‘87-’92 period of European import releases. It encompasses such classic Eps and Lps as MEPHISTO WALZ, CROCOSMIA, AS APOSTLES FORGET, and TANGIA. With the addition of vocalist-keyboardist Christianna, the band was set to invade the states. They’ve just released the TERRA-THALIA* [sic] Lp on Cleopatra Records. Bari-Bari admits that his writing style still has a little of the old Christian Death flavor to it. 

“True, some people see a bit of Christian Death influence on Mephisto Walz,” says Bari, “And why shouldn’t they? My style of writing and playing was something I had even before joining Christian Death. It’s not gonna suddenly disappear now.”

On the new Lp, TERRA-THALIA [sic], there is a song called “Facade (Closet of Faces),” which epitomizes Bari’s lyrical and instrumental styles. The mood is both atmospheric and sensual, and Christianna’s vocals are positively unearthly.

“Because of mass frustrations / Emotions hid in chains / How no forever can be measured / Eventually it just has to fade / Yet as a hunger beckons me / In fear I heed the call / A desire comes to me / Arresting touch as I recoil...”

“If you [illegible] the lyrics,” explains Bari-Bari, “they are very much on the dark side of things, but they’re not trite. I’m not gonna write about graveyards and vampires or something as obvious as that. Those things get really old really quickly. I prefer more abstract stuff, to set moods, it’s almost a subconscious thing because it’s less contrived that way.”

Mephisto Walz are now poised to sweep America. They already have large followings all over Europe. They lived in Germany for awhile, where they toured with Rozz Williams and Shadow Project a couple of times. Will the two mysterious men in black once again meet to discuss the future of the scene? Stay tuned!

*Transcriber’s note: this article refers to ‘Terra-Thalia,’ a nonexistent release. I assume this is an erroneous reference to the 1995 album Thalia, conjoined with the 1992 album Terra-Regina.

[xardoth]

Unknown Source | Pelle Ohlin

Hallo! This interview doesn't have questions, it was only Pelle's answers. Once my schedule calms down I'm gonna try to get some Øystein interviews published :)!

"THE ANSWEAR...ING OF YOUR QUESTIONS---?

This is not sooo many answears I give you, but what the fuck it's so many questions HUH! Ok, I'll try now.

1? It goes very slowly

2. No, I wear a warm jacket.

3. The simple reason is that I couldn't find another, what do you thoughts?

4. GLLLUAPP... NW. G!.. Oh yeah the question.. The reason to live is, of course, to die, but after that... hmmmmm.. WAIT I'M NOT FINISH YET.. there is so many ideas about this, so I don't knowe, what about that???

5.0 I like to discuss that. The most of all idiots want to die when they are sleeping and quickly - no pain. I prefer to die slowly so I can see how it feels - WHAT A PLEASURE! I'll only do this once.. and why not in TORMENT?

6..2? Ok, I had heard the name before! Don't say any thing.. Hmmmmmm.. Oh yeah I'll think Mayhem is a great band with cool dudes. I heard that Maniac leaves and maybe I will fit. I didn't knowe then that they know so lot of people. The contact of the very first degree were when I send them our (Morbid) rehearsal tape and of course a crucified rat. I think they liked that 'coz they sacrificed it in a fire place. THE SMELL WAS GREAT!

7. NO! Ok, a longer answear (as you told me). Morbid doesn't exist anymore. The real Morbid were me and the guitarist John. Every one had an own reason to leave the band so we were split up. The other guitarist and the incredible stupid drummer Drutt wanted to call their new band Morbid. This NEW band sounded like the stupid poser band Testament(?). Me, John and some others told them friendly to change the name 'coz that's not Morbid. And they did... HA! Me and another guy will start up a new band (hobby band). At first we wanted to start up old Morbid again but John wimped out as always, so this is also another band, no name yet. An old member from the darktime before the demo, called T.6. Known(?) as shitcan. who did My dark subconscious and the most part of wings of funeral, will also join. what about the mysterious John, in the middle of  Åkersberga? We will record (just we) a following demo (!!!!!) of the first and only Dec. Moon (Morbid) demo. It will be one/eng/eins/ona - 1. song. The first demo ends with a trailer Death Execution, also known as La-LaLa-LaLa. etc... We will do the rest of it. INCREDIBLE, huh? (I HATE TO EXPLAIN THIS BUT IT'S OVER NOW... I will also take a break, think (??) worth it.. HALLO... HEY, Marcin? - Ok, I'm back now

8. In the very past time of the MORBID ages I did all the lyrics. That were a problem. I wanted the other guys to write, but they dont wanted to. And when I had done a lyric, the didn't like it, 'coz I writed the things that I'm into. But I wanted they to also write! That were a prblem of course. The things who influence me are Horror stuff, sometimes occult stories, psycokillers, some cannibalism, blaspheme, the christs, black magic and scare people to death, and corpse infections, etc;. Nowadays in MAYHEM we write the lyrics together. Now we try to describe how it feels strangled to death feel the face veins blowed up with blood it wents black before your and and unpleasant pictures turning round inside of your eyes. Another song is about the pleasure you feel when you get killed."

Thank you so much to my lovely friend Ember for sending me the original interview! Muah <3!

[stoutduke]

Critical Role: Dusk

We all know Dusk is some kind of bad guy because of her dream, but whether or not they're a willing one, we don't know. We saw what they really are and that they were about to do something to Fearne and her mom. Matt said that hints at what was going on were being dropped and I want to figure out what they were.

One is that Dusk's story about getting separated from Fearne's parents doesn't add up even with how weird time is between the feywild and theirs. Joe said that her parents came by his place many times, which means that if Dusk were with them, Joe would've known them.

Two, when Imogen messaged Fearne's parents they didn't mention Dusk at all. At first, thinking they just didn't mention them because they're scattered brained like Fearne made sense, but if you add it with every other clue it leads to a different story. It was weird for them not to mention Dusk at all considering Dusk has a locket with their pictures in it. A relationship where they're close enough to have a locket of them and then got separated would almost for sure make Dusk worth mentioning in the reply.

Three, it seemed like Dusk wasn't using their powers to their full extent during the race. They only used the cantrip eldritch blast and lay on hands once. It might've been because they didn't have spells that were useful while racing, but that comes off as a bit convenient when they didn't burn a single spell slot.

Four, right after she asked Laudna out and got rejected she tried getting with Orym. Normally people aren't so quick to jump from one person to another especially when the people you're interested in are friends. It seemed like she was trying to increase her closeness with people in the group as fast as she could. Sleeping with Orym would've been a quick way to get closer and create more familiarity with them and maybe the group and also gain some trust.

On a different subject, I'm going to go over some theories about what I think could be going on with Dusk and her job. After their discussion with someone in their dream they said fuck and color flashed across their face and then stopped. I get the sense that the colors appearing across their face and then disappearing are a reference to some inner turmoil. The colors could represent her emotions and true desires and her stopping it represents the facade she keeps up to please her superiors and to keep them from finding out she wants out. Outwardly to their boss she might be more obedient, but on the inside i think she wants to be free. In a conversation with Fearne she mentioned that she doesn't want to live inside a box, she doesn't like being restricted. I get the sense that she considers her job a box and she's looking for a way out, but it's hard to get out when the people you work for can get into your head. They might not be a willing party in killing the Calloways.

Since she was contacted in her dream by someone about her mission she might be a kind of puppet for someone. She might be given orders in her dreams that she fulfills subconsciously when she's awake. If the awake version of her isn't aware of any missions then she's all the more convincing as a kind, good person and it would be a lot harder to catch her in a lie if the awake version of her doesn't know she's lying. Or she could have two versions of herself on purpose in order to be better at tricking people.

Another theory is she might be subtley trying to sabotage herself, so her friends free her from her patrons control. If her patron is able to get in her head they might also be able to see what she's doing, so she'd have to be very careful in what and how she says things. She told Fearne she doesn't like living inside a box, which could've been her saying she wants to be free of her patrons influence. Her saying her mind's mixed up could be her saying she's not herself. She's also said multiple times that she was worried that the version of her she doesn't remember might not be a good person, another reference to her situation and a call for help. The last possible act of sabotage I noticed was that she revealed herself inside Joe's shop when only Fearne and her mom were in the room, she didn't confirm if Fearne's dad was there. Fearne's mom said they were getting close to finishing what they're doing, if Fearne's dad didn't get killed or captured because she didn't see if he was outside, he'd likely still be able to finish whatever they're doing. Her risking that doesn't make sense. Dusk also knows that Joe is pretty familiar with Fearne's parents, so she knows that attacking Fearne's mom inside his shop would likely cause Joe to use his large powerful automatons against her. I think she wants to be stopped and is willing to risk being killed for the chance that her new friends will be able to figure out she's being controlled and that she can't directly ask for help because they're in her head.