#discovering this brand has been so bad for me they are my DREAM aesthetic

[awstenlookbook]

For Funeral Grey promo, Awsten wears a Mokuyobi Pinwheel stripe l/s tee (no longer available).

📸Jawn Rocha via Awsten's Twitter

[fanficsrusz]

I WANT TO KI__ YOU - FINAL CHAPTER

Warnings: Kidnapping, Dub-Con, Non-con, Stockholm Syndrome, Being Restrained, Breeding, murder, everything bad.

PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. IF YOU FIND ANY OF THESE WARNINGS TRIGGERING, THEN DO NOT READ. BY CONTINUING TO READ FROM THIS POINT ON, YOU ARE AGREEING THAT YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH ALL OF THE ABOVE WARNINGS. I DO NOT ACCEPT ANY RESPONSIBILITY IF YOU FEEL TRIGGERED BY THE FOLLOWING CONTENT SINCE THERE HAS BEEN PLENTY OF WARNINGS. IF YOU FEEL LIKE ANY OTHER WARNINGS SHOULD BE ADDED THEN PLEASE POLITELY DM ME AND I WILL ADD THEM.

Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: Summery: After failing to fulfill his contract, John takes a liking to y/n and his liking soon turns into a dark obsession

Aesthetic Playlist

A/n: After a billion years, a billion mental breakdowns and just about everything else, I have finally mustered up the courage to finish this series. I don't know how to feel.

I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I look forward to reading all your comments and feedback. If you liked this chapter then please reblog it. That is how writers like myself are able to spread out work to other people, especially because there have been a lot of issues with tags lately. Thank you ❤️

<< Previous Chapter

The taste of his lips was something that she should hate. It's something that she should crave to loaf. But even after everything he put her through, he was the sweetest poison.  

John was like an elegantly bound book but in a language she couldn't read. Y/n never thought she would love all the bad things about someone but there she stood, staring out into the openness of the forest through the front door. 

The door was there as if her dream had become solid, as if it had grown upon the hinges and blossomed into a comforting hue. An exit. A way out of the nightmare she found herself in. In all the time she had been trapped in the house, the door had remained a mystery to her. Not that she didn't know what laid beyond it, but the idea of what she would do when she saw the day it was held open for that long. 

She realised in the air that had been so still on the previous days had suddenly gained a slight movement, as if it had discovered its direction yet was content to meander at its own pace. The autumn breeze that carried fine drops, each one a promise of the rain to come.  Newly chilled air that moved the clouds, streaks of brilliance breaking through from a patient sun.

 Y/n let her eyes rest for a moment, feeling the ambiance of nothing, hearing the sounds, taking in the aroma, letting her brain process what laid ahead. 

John came behind, his lips grazing her hair as he pressed a chaste kiss upon her head. 

"I need an answer." 

His voice came as a whisper but had a firmness to it as he waited for their fate to be sealed. 

Choices were rarely a fork of two pathways, yet with eyes a little wider open, many pathways appeared before her. The right path for one person can be different from another and only the inner compass of love and passion could illuminate it for that soul to walk upon.

"I-" her lips parted, the single syllable falling from her mouth before she stopped. Her eyes clenched shut, images of her past life flashing through her mind, her heart thumping as the emotions of what she had lost pumped through her. 

Before she could even register her own existence in her new life, her feet had pulled her from John's hold. 

She could feel her heartbeat… every single pound in her chest. This great pounding, this great pressure; every beat. She could hear it, she could feel it. It remained steady with every step she took closer to the door, it remained through what little breaths she could shove down her throat. It remained when she stood and swayed at the threshold. That dark beating remained, as she waited for her own choice to take hold of her body. 

With a shaky hand she took hold of the new wooden door, a sigh leaving her as she pushed the door shut, sealing her inside the house and sealing her fate with no other exit. Just like that any glimmer of escape faded away coldly into infinite darkness. Y/n's skin shuddered and she could feel her brain starting to defocus, searching for new hope. She should have gone … out there, to the forest where the paths ran in every direction and she could be free. But one thing and one thing alone stopped her. 

Aurora. 

John's hand creeped up her arm, offering her a caring touch. 

"Thank you" he whispered, breath hot on the back of her neck.

"For what?" her voice came out hostile, sadness prominent in her tone. 

"You chose me -" he smiled, "you chose us. You chose Aurora. You chose love." his arms circled her waist, pulling her closer to his icy warmth. "I can't believe you finally recognised the importance of what we have. You've finally learnt to appreciate it all and that's all I ever wanted from you". 

Sadness sat an inch below Y/n's face, eyes remaining dry, expression impassive. She knew that if she even let a fraction out that the rest would follow, a never ending torrent of grief. She moved nothing but her eyes, her mind racing while every muscle stayed rock still against John's hold. 

"I just needed you to see it with your own eyes, to have you understand that this could be a wonderful life, that we can build a perfect, loving, family" John let his mind wander within the walls of his own fantasy. 

"Just think about it. Think about all the good things we can do together here. We can be happy, we can enjoy each other as much as we want without having to worry about the world out there and all the bad things it brings -" he placed a heated kiss onto her skin, his teeth nipping lightly. 

That warm, raspy voice that possessed his cords, sent nerves dancing up her spine. Normally his smile sent her mind into an uncontrolled, captivated spiral and his light touch lingered, it branded her soul with a simple mark: infatuation. To call it love would be a mockery of her heart, a symbol of her dying innocence. But every tempered word he spoke invaded her mind, like ivy tendrils seeking any point of weakness to enter; they wrapped her body in a blanket of comfort and consumed her soul in the heat of lust.

Y/n remembered that night John took her in a soft, painful haze. It was the night that taught her the difference between love and infatuation. Love is unconditional, eternal... Infatuation? It dies. 

Y/n had become infatuated with John to some degree. The sense of protection that he provided was something that she had never known. What else did she have other than John? But Aurora? She deserved better. Y/n loved her more than anything and she wasn't about to let her daughter live in four walls. Captive. Her beauty hidden away from the world. 

That wasn't a life she wanted for her. 

"-I only needed to know that you were convinced, that you had it in your heart" John continued, his lips peppering her skin with soft kisses. 

"well now you know" y/n whispered, eyes still glued to the closed door. 

"You know-" John gently turned her body, forcing her to look at him as his soft brown eyes studied her features for a moment, "-keeping you chained in that basement for the rest of your life was a possibility but that wasn't enough for me" 

Y/n felt the pad of his thumb rub against the wet skin of her cheek, rubbing away a few tears that had managed to quietly escape their fortress. 

"I wanted you to be here with me, so you could enjoy this life of ours without being kept like an animal." his eyes softened, eyebrows dipping kindly. "It was all necessary at first. Just a training process and I only kept you like that because you needed it" 

Y/n knew it was wrong what he did. But why did it hurt to know what she would do? 

"I understand" she whispered, her own hands wrapping around his waist as she buried her face in his chest. With a deep breath she took note of all the musky sweet notes of his scents. John rested his head on top of hers, his smile uncontrollable. 

"it was like the medicine you needed to take" John let out a small laugh as he thought back. "you were this small little disobedient puppy. It was cute honestly but it was just something you needed to go through to get stronger. And now look at you!" he pulled back, holding her at arms length so be count admire her perfect face. "you're so beautiful and So loyal" 

John kissed the droplets of tears from her lips, and she felt his lips smile against hers. He swept her hair aside and kissed her just over the collarbone. He nibbled at her ear, and then sank himself into her arms. She hung her fingers on his waistband, dragging him closer and he buried his face in her shoulder curve, his hands flexing around her back. John gave a reduced groan before whispering “I love you,” into her hair. 

"So do I" she mustered back. 

"I can't believe you finally see me for what I really am. Your family. Your soulmate. Your world. Of course that world includes Aurora. Her future brothers and sisters. We will have all we need right here" he placed another kiss onto her forehead. "we can build something new, something perfect and you are the one who made it all possible. You - you have no idea how special you are to me my love." 

John stepped back, extending his hand for her to take and Y/n slowly took it into hers. 

"I will never let you go. No matter what happens, I will always find you."

-

Three days later 

The perfect life for the perfect wife. That's what Y/n told herself daily, over and over. 

Y/n had been baking for a few hours and as the moments passed, tune by tune as the radio sang along, the piles of cookies, buns and breads grew. It was the same as mess, only the good sort she supposed, the edible sort that made people happy. That would make her happy. 

Aurora sat in her highchair, cooing softly as Y/n plated a few cookies and turned slowly, smiling as she watched her daughter stare up at her. 

She placed the plate on that table and kissed Aurora on the forehead. 

"No matter what happens. I love you" she breathed heavily and pulled back when she heard John step into the kitchen. 

"Good morning" Y/n smiled, wiping some of the drool from Aurora's face. 

John rounded the table and kissed y/n on the cheek before kissing Aurora's head. 

"Good morning my loves". 

For a moment there was silence in the large room and y/n shifted on her feet. 

"What are you going to do today?" John finally asked, pulling a glass from the cupboard and filling it with some water. 

Y/n shook her head slowly. 

"I don't know. Maybe clean. Play with Aurora. I baked some cookies already" John's eyes lit up as he walked over to the table, smiling as he picked up a warm cookie. 

"You made these?" he asked and y/n only hummed. 

"Mhmm" 

John kissed her cheek and Y/n savoured the feeling of his lingering touch before she turned around to face him. 

"Try it. Tell me how it is". 

John smirked before lifting the cookie to her mouth. 

"oh no. I've already eaten so many of them. I made them specially for you" 

"Such a good wife" John smiled. The cookie skimmed his lips before he shoved it into his mouth, letting the buttery goodness explode against his tongue. 

"Wow" he exclaimed, "This is really good". Y/n’s eyes lit up with excitement as she watched him eat a second cookie without hesitation. 

"Good. I'm glad you like them". 

John lifted his glass of water to his lips before he felt something wash over him. Something he hadn't felt… Ever. 

His hand extended towards Y/n as he tried to grab her, reaching out for support but she only pulled away, the smile she wore still on her face as she watched him intently. 

John breathed heavily but the air just wouldn't go in, like his lungs were surrounded by metal bands. Next came the rising panic, the dizzy feeling and the need to get low to the ground. The exertion brought on more breathlessness, like the air around him was devoid of oxygen. His ribs heaved up and down but no benefit came.

"Y.. Y/n…" his wheezing voice called out to her but she only stepped back. 

The poison was made to mimic an efficient virus, to kill the host fast. A few drops here and there and the decay set in, a sort of race to the bottom. The best part? She didn't even know what it was. She just read the bottle that John had stashed away and shoved it into the batter. If there was one thing she learnt from her mother was that love was the best blindfold for any plan. 

Y/n picked up Aurora, cradling her in her arms as she watched John gasp for breath. In his glassy eyes that stared up at her, she saw her reflection and she saw that what she was doing was the right thing. 

"You were and always have been a - monster" the words seemed to burn her tongue but she ignored the pain it caused. "You will never be able to find me or her again. Goodbye John" 

As the blackness finally began to consume him once and for all, he watched as his love pulled open the front door, her shadowy figure slowly fading into the darkness as he also did. 

-

3 months later. 

"Thank you, detective" y/n pushed the papers into her handbag before placing the bag back onto that handle of the pram. Aurora laid asleep in her arms and y/n slowly stood up. 

"No worries" the detective smiled kindly before reaching out over the table, stopping y/n from moving any more. "-and just so you know, I'm sorry. I know there isn't anything I can say that can fix everything that happened to you but You're safe now. We won't let anything else happen." y/n smiled softly and placed her hand on top of his reassuringly. 

"It's okay. You searched and you couldn't find me. There isn't anything anyone could have done. He… Was different. He was smart". 

The detective shook his head and pulled his hand away, burying them in piles of paper. 

"he was a monster for what he did". 

Y/n felt the tears well in the back of her eyes as she felt her throat turn dry. 

"I-" before she could even think of anything to say, Aurora began to cry and y/n laughed, shaking the pain of her aching heart away. "-I should really get her home". 

"Of course". He led y/n to the door, holding it open for her as they began to proceed down the corridor. 

"There's still quite a few reporters out there so it's best you take the back exit. Officer Hughes will swing by your place later on to check in" 

"Oh. Terry? He doesn't have to. He's been doing that everyday for the past three months -" 

"Nonsense. It's the least we could do". 

Y/n smiled and looked down at her watch. 

"Thank you so much detective. I'll see you later" 

"see ya". 

Y/n left the building and sighed as she heard the loud noise of the city and wind around her, the warm sun warming her body just as the first few drops of rain fell from the sky. 

"Let's get you home" she whispered to her daughter, pushing the pram towards home. 

-

The cafe that y/n lived above laid ahead, just around the corner and y/n couldn't wait to get her feet up. It's royal blue paint glistening under the closed sky was definitely a sight for sore eyes. She could just about see the large sign, decorated with droplets of water that hung on like glistening jewels. "Gloria's."

 Outside the sidewalk that would bustle in a few short hours was quiet, the concrete oblivious to whether it was midday or midnight. Y/n’s face smirked upward at the sight of the flower planter to the right, the city has put in new blooms that will give flashes of sunny yellows and hot pinks through the springtime. If she stopped walking right now she could almost hear the heartbeat of the city, quiet, like the ticking of an old Grandfather clock.

Her mind was too preoccupied with the world around her and y/n didn't notice the figure that hid under the umbrella that she nearly ran over. 

"Oh I'm so sorry!" y/n exclaimed, extending her hand to steady the person. Y/n waited patiently for the person's response, waiting to make sure she didn't hurt them. 

Then she heard it, the dark, low chuckle that made her spine tingle. 

"You're just as polite as the first time, Princess" 

The end.

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(rest of tags will be added in reblogs)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #314

“as above, so below  /  what you reap is what you sow  /  what you give comes back threefold  /  as above, so below”

What do you do for work? I'm currently unemployed. I only get paid now and again to do pictures for people. What would you ideally like to do for work? I'd love if I could just be a photographer. What are you doing in order to achieve this? Practice and shoving my extreme discomfort about it aside and trying to promote myself where possible and not in an overbearing manner. What do you think is the worst being on the planet? "Rapists, pedophiles, abusive people in general." <<<< This. Anyone who disrespects the existence of other and equal people. Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? No. How big an age gap is between you and your siblings? My immediate sisters and I are two years apart. My half-siblings, I don't know. I don't have their ages memorized, but I do know 5+ years, some even 10. Do/did your siblings cause trouble? Not really, we were good kids. What's your dream vehicle? I don't really have one. Are you good at taking care of your finances? What finances? And I don't mean that happily. What's your favorite comic strip? I don't have one. How many people have you texted today? Zero. Someone cheats. Second chance? Nope, byyyyeeeee. Thoughts on kids? Clay that I'm not playing with. Are you a risk taker? No. What are you listening to? I'm currently going through a phase of playing The Evil Within 2's theme nonstop, jc. Is/Was your high schools dress code strict? Not like, mega strict, but it still was overboard. No spaghetti strap shirts, and I even once got in trouble for wearing a floral mesh shirt, despite having a normal tanktop underneath it. It was weird, like no one had ever had a problem with it before, it was just this one teacher that I passed in the hall. Who was the last person to request you on a social media network - and did you accept? Someone I didn't know, so obviously not. Who was the last person’s vehicle that you rode in? Mom's. Who was the last person to make you laugh or smile, and why? Another current obsession of mine: John Wolfe, another let's player who I think is super funny. He said something that made me snicker before I turned on music and started this. Who was the last person that you took a photo with? My half-sister while she was visiting. Who was the last person to pay you a compliment, and what did they say? In group therapy the other day, one of the other women told me that even if I don't believe it, I bring so much positivity to group and she was really happy to be there while I am. I was so so super flustered but flattered, too. Who’s the last person that you visited in the hospital? My mom, following her surgery. Who is the last person that you lent money to? Actually today to Mom. What was the last food that you ate? I warmed up a burger for dinner. What did the last pair of footwear that you wore look like? They're just black flipflops. What was the last kind of bread that you ate? Just plain white bread. What was the last app that you downloaded to your phone? Oh wow, I never do this. I want to say it was a game for my niece. When was your last work shift? I haven't worked in a long time, so idk. When is the last time that you had trouble falling asleep? This is literally every single night. When was the last time you saw a significant other? I ain't got one'a those. When’s the last time that you took a risk? What was the risk? Well, I did say I'm not a risk-taker... Where was the last place that you went on vacation to? You know, how long does it have to be to be considered a "vacation?" I would say not since I went to the beach with an old friend, but it was literally a day. Where was the last place you got lost? uhhhhhhh Why did your last relationship fail? We need to work on ourselves before we could properly support each other and stay in a healthy mindset. Why did you leave your last job? I couldn't handle the stress of serving people and having so many responsibilities at once. How long has it been since you last visited a doctor? How about a dentist? I literally went to the doctor today because I had a follow-up appointment about my weight gain again. I haven't been to the dentist in a few months; I had a normal cleaning my last visit. How big was the last fish you caught? Oh boy, this is stretching years back. It was probably something small, idr at all. Give me the first initial of your last name? D. Something in your home that’s on its last leg(s)? We just moved here, so nothing that's a part of the house itself. As far as items we actually own, idk. Where do you purchase most of your clothes? I haven't gotten new clothes in so long, idk. I would probably say Hot Topic. Describe your skincare routine. I don't have one, if I'm being honest. I just shower. What’s your typical morning routine look like? I don't have one of those, either. The only thing that's consistent is going to the bathroom, eating, and taking my meds. Even brushing my teeth, the time of day when I do that (if I'm not leaving the house) varies. Then it's time to just binge stuff on YouTube and do whatever on the laptop... Are you still playing Animal Crossing? I've never played it, actually. How has the pandemic specifically affected you? It's caused a lot of stress worrying about my mom falling ill, given her being immunocompromised. It's also held me back from searching for another job (even though I don't know what I'd go for, anyway...), because I absolutely refuse to risk bringing Covid into this house by leaving it daily or whatever. What is your main source of anxiety? Being mentally ill, really. It just affects a lot. Any bands or artists you’ve recently discovered? Not very recently, no. What kind of games do you play on your phone? Just Pokemon GO nowadays. Do you have a specific aesthetic? It varies. I love dark, gothic, and gory stuff, but then I also love everything pink and pastel?????? Pastel gore is especially where it's at. Describe the moment you realized you were falling in love with someone. I'd rather not. What’s your favorite sparkling water brand/flavor? I've never even tried it before. What’s your favorite makeup brand/brands? I don't wear nearly enough makeup to be even remotely familiar with any. What’s your all-time favorite movie? It'll probably always be The Lion King. Do you have any subscription boxes? No, but they're cool. What fictional creature would you like as a pet? On deviantART today I actually discovered a fantastic artist who does a lot of HTTYD fanart, and I would say as a dragon lover, Toothless would be soooo great. Have any local businesses closed that you’re sad about? I'm certain tons have closed, but none come to mind. How do you feel about TikTok? I don't feel anything about it. Did you/do you still have a Neopets account? Haha I've had like... two or three at different stages in my life. What were you doing at 9 o'clock this morning? That's actually when (virtual) group therapy starts. Are you wearing any jewelry? Yeah; my piercings (if you count them) and then two rings that I always have on. Are you good at hiding disappointment? No. I'm bad at hiding my emotions because they're so strong. What happened the last time you cried? lmaooo I was finishing watching a The Evil Within 2 LP yesterday, and like, the last hour or so of the game just rips me apart. I was hoping so bad that my mom didn't pass by and ask what the problem was. What would your parents be surprised to learn about you? Both would be stunned to know the situation I had with Joel/my former best friend's boyfriend when I was around 12. What fictional character do you have the biggest crush on? dARKIPLIER Where would you live if you could live anywhere in the world? When all things are considered, like laws, seeing family, etc., somewhere in Canada, or maybe Alaska. Actually, Alaska would be really cool. What after school activities did you do in high school? I didn't have any, if you mean like, school sports and clubs. I did do dance once or twice a week, but it wasn't tied to my school. What’s the last book you really loved? I positively adored The Handmaid's Tale. If you could have been a child prodigy what would you have wanted to be skilled at? My writing was seen as very exceptional for my age as a kid, but it still would've been awesome if it was even better. If earth could only have one condiment for the rest of time, what would you pick to keep around? Uhhh I guess ketchup. I use that the most of all options. What is the scariest experience you have ever had? The night of the breakup. It was such an impossible concept to me that I genuinely thought my life was over, that I'd pull the plug at any moment. Who is a non-politician you wish would run for office? Oh, hunny, Markiplier lmao. Call it a bias all ya want, but he's just a genuinely incredible person that cares so much for everyone and is so serious about equality and just being a good person. Do you think it’s important to stay up to date with the news? It's very hypocritical of me to say, but yes, regardless. Do you own plants? If so, what kind of plants? If not, would you like to grow any? I've never been into growing plants, honestly. Is there a city that you have a particular fondness for? If so, what city is it and why? No, not really. When was the last time that you acted impulsively? Is this a common behavior for you? I dunno, I've gotten better at this. I probably said something I shouldn't have. If you received an allowance as a kid, what kinds of things would you buy with it? Were you more the type to save up for something big, or spend it on little things? I didn't get one. When you cuddle with someone, how do you prefer to position yourself? Would you rather be held, or do the holding? Or both? Are we sitting or lying down? Either way I think I have a tendency to lay my head on their chest while hugging them, and my legs generally curl up. If I'm upset, I definitely feel better and just a greater sense of safety if I'm the one being held, but if the roles are swapped, then I like to be the one doing the holding because I know that's what I want when I'm upset, so treat others how you wanna be treated, y'know. When you woke up today, did you find unread messages from anyone? No. Have you recently told anyone that you miss them? Yes. Can you recall the last time you turned down an offer, of any kind? Mom asked if I wanted to come with her to Ashley's a few days ago, but I said no. I wasn't in a social mood at all. Is there anyone you interact with every day on social media? No. What was the main character's name in the last fictional book you read? Sunny. Have you ever been rejected by a church? No. Is your family nice to you? Yeah. Are you comfortable with your gender? Yeah. What was your favorite Mary-Kate and Ashley film? I don't remember; we had a couple, though. What was your favorite book you had to read for school? The Outsiders. What was your favorite Nickelodeon show? ngl, I don't remember a lot of them and don't feel like looking up a list. Do you still live in the house you grew up in? No. Which Spice Girl was your favorite? I don't remember their names. Do you think you look the best you've ever looked? Oh hell no. Have you been hurt by religion? Yes, honestly. In Truth or Dare, would you rather choose Truth or Dare? I always choose "truth." Have you ever had more than one crush at once? Yeah, I think that's perfectly normal to feel, even for someone monogamous like myself. Just when you establish a relationship, then it's time to make a choice. What social issue do you care about most? This is hard to say with how passionately I hold my opinions, but probably LGBTQ+ rights. It's just... so disgusting to me that I was once homophobic. It's like I want to make up for it. Just the idea of being repulsed by love just because someone has "the wrong thing" in their pants is just... appalling. When was the last time you read a Bible? Many, maaaany years ago I started reading it, but I didn't get very far at all. Do you own a Bible? I personally don't, but I know Mom has one, maybe multiple. Do you discover new music regularly? No; I very much stick to what I know. It's great when I do, though, given that that's how I find new songs to repeat to the grave. What does your first name mean? "Of Britain" or something like that. What country do you live in? U.S.A. Do you believe that gays are born that way? Uh, yes? Who honestly believes a homosexual would *choose* to be in the discriminated minority? People are murdered and abused for simply their sexuality; no sane person would "choose" to risk that torture.

[welllpthisishappening]

A Request for Help, Version 2.0

Hello, hey, hi there. So, yesterday, I wrote, posted and then very quickly got rid of a thing about a story I am writing because it is my greatest fear that I will annoy the internet.

Like imagine me writing and somehow being both Ms. Piggy and Kermit: 

The problem here is that I still kind of need some help if said internet is inclined to do it. Basically I have been writing this time travel story for over a year. I have aesthetic boards, Spotify playlists, character breakdowns and color coded timelines. But! When I decided I wanted to go back and edit my first draft, I was like...this is a lot. There are a lot of moving parts and visions of the future and the color coding is really necessary. 

The edit has more or less become a full-scale rewrite. There are still a lot of moving parts, but the chapters aren’t 8K anymore, some things have been changed or taken out or plot points have been moved up. I think it’s going ok, and yet. My concern is that this story only makes sense in my head. 

The gist of it is our heroine, Scarlett, just turned twenty-five and discovered that the job she’s going to interview at isn’t so much a job offer as it is the bad guy (Carter Campbell) trying to use her to take over the world. Obviously. Because Scarlett Nolan isn’t just a normal twenty-five year old, she can control all five of the ancient elements and, by extension, time itself. Our love interest, Alex, tells her that after he shows up on the Subway. Alex has spent the last two years getting randomly tugged through Scarlett’s timeline, trying to find her at this one, perfect spot so she doesn’t go to the interview with Campbell. 

There’s lots more, but that’s the general idea, plus kissing because of who I am as a person. Now, what am I asking? You don’t have to read all 15 chapters I’ve written, but if you’re interested and want to read some early ones and let me know what confuses you or doesn’t or you think should be explained more, that’d really set my mind at ease. Like I said, I’ve been working on this story for ages, so it means a lot and I’m really trying to make it the best it can be. 

Words under the cut so, if you do want to read, you can see some more about Scarlett and Alex. Feel free to message me if you want to read or tell me to shut up about my own writing or want to know what songs I think go with what characters. 

“Uh, excuse me?”

Scarlett jumped, slamming her head into the door and no one else looked. “Ah, shit,” she hissed.”God damn, that hurt. I think I’m concussed.” The guy paled at the tone of her voice, crouching in front of her and Scarlett got the distinct impression he was trying not to reach out towards her. A curl fell far too close to his right eyebrow to be fair. “Fuck,” he breathed. “I--uh, oh fuck.” “Articulate, aren’t you?” “Sometimes. Not now, obviously, but I really don’t think you're concussed.” Scarlett’s jaw dropped, reaching up to press the heel of her hand into the back of her head and she was surprised to find that there wasn’t a baseball-sized lump there. “If that was your attempt at apologizing for scaring the shit out of me, it fell pretty flat.” He smiled. It was kind of like staring at—something big and important and absolutely life-changing. “I wasn’t trying to scare you,” he said, any sense of that previous tension evolving into what might have actually been misplaced flirting. “I...well, I had a question.” Scarlett made a face, she knew she did. She had a habit. A bad one. Owen teased her about it mercilessly and Ella told her she’d make a horrible informant because every thought that flitted through her mind, somehow, ended up on her face. 

“That’s what you’re going with?” she asked, doing her best to infuse as much venom into the question as possible. His smile wavered. “I don’t understand.” “Are you fucking with me? I mean, I’ll give you points for not giving a damn. But that’s what you're opening with? After the elbow thing—” “—That wasn’t intentional.” “And the staring thing,” Scarlett continued, barely breaking conversational stride, “Were you going to ask for directions and then casually drop in that you’re new in town and looking for some company later?” He blinked. The smile was gone. “I’m not new in town.” Scarlett couldn’t imagine a situation where she’d ever though the word husky, but it seemed strangely appropriate in the moment, his voice dropping low with an obvious sense of determination and—

Frustration. 

He was frustrated. And tired and overwhelmed and actually a little concerned about her head. Scarlett could feel it, the maelstrom of absolutely everything twisting around her joints and timing up with her pulse. “That isn’t what’s happening right now. It’s bigger than that.” “Excuse me?” “You were right about the directions, as, like, a starter, but I didn’t want this to be weird—” “—Oh, you didn’t want it to be weird?” He huffed, eyes widening and it was more familiarity that didn’t make any sense at all. He looked like he hadn’t shaved in days. “So you’re just a completely presumptuous asshole, then?” Scarlett fumed. “Sometimes. Not now. This is—it’s important, I promise. I’ve been trying to…” “To what?” His exhale was barely that, a burst of air through clenched teeth and that one piece of hair hadn’t moved. It was like it was taunting Scarlett with vaguely attractive and a bit of memory and she could feel his nerves. No, that wasn’t right. She couldn’t feel people’s emotions. Least of all some creep on the uptown-6. “Ok,” he said, pressing his tongue into the side of his mouth. “I’m going to tell you something and I need you not to punch me in the face or kick me in a variety of places.” “No.” “What?” “No, stranger on the train who spent an entire commute elbowing me in the kidney, I will not promise you that.” “Your kidneys are in your back.” “Get to your point, strange train person. Is this a kidnapping attempt? Because it sucks. And I don’t want to buy your candy or support your music career.” He laughed, the sound barely making it to Scarlett’s ears before he ran a hand through his hair. “It’s not any of those things. And it’s Alex, by the way. Strange train person seems excessively wordy.” “I do not care. And I’m not telling you my name either. Was there a point to this conversation and anatomy lesson?” She was absolutely, one-hundred percent, no doubt about it, going crazy. His eyes were blue again. And Alex felt like a memory Scarlett couldn’t quite place. 

“There is, that’s what I’m getting at. I just—ok, please don’t punch and just...stop feeling things.” Scarlett breath hitched. “You need to talk. Now. Because I am getting off at the next stop.” “I know.” “Talk, strange train person!” “Alex,” he groaned. “We just did this. Alex Byrne.” “Words. Say them.” His laugh was shaky at best and terrifying at worst, hand finding the back of his hair again when he looked at her. Or, possibly through her. Like he knew her. Well. 

The train stopped, a station Scarlett needed to get out at in order to ensure some kind of future that also ensured she stayed in an apartment she was maybe only vaguely welcome in. Alex’s eyes bugged. 

Scarlett nodded once, popping her lips in annoyance and what may have been have actually been disappointment. She took a step to her left, fingers moving with practiced ease and he didn’t glance down when she pocketed his phone. “Alright,” she said. “Well, this has been as weird as my entire day so far, so, uh, it was not nice to meet you Alex Byrne, strange person on the train. Don’t be an asshole to other people.”

She didn’t wait for a response, the weight of his phone impossible to ignore in her pocket, and she almost felt guilty when she took a step onto the platform. 

Until she heard him shouting at her. He was shouting her name. 

He knew her name. Scarlett sprinted up the stairs, the cold air stinging her lungs when she tried to gulp it down as soon as she reached the sidewalk. And for as many emotions as she’d felt in the last twenty minutes, the one coursing through her was brand-new — a mix of fear and excitement and complete power. 

She tugged the phone out of her pocket, no passcode and only a few apps on the home screen. “Idiot,” Scarlett mumbled, slamming her thumb onto a social media app with three notifications. 

He hadn’t been lying about the name. It was right there, in black and white and photo evidence — a picture that didn’t look too old staring up at Scarlett and that one piece of hair falling across his forehead was apparently a trend. 

Alexander Byrne. Twenty-seven. Rhode Island native. No job listed. Less than one hundred friends. One sister. And a chat bubble in the corner of the screen. 

Scarlett clicked. 

She knew it was wrong, could hear the warning signs like that also didn’t prove how insane she was quickly becoming, but she was curious and something was wrong. About the whole day. And possibly her. 

She nearly dropped the phone. 

The messages were from a woman with thick-rimmed glasses and brown hair and they should not have existed. 

They were timestamped April...next year. 

“What the fuck,” Scarlett muttered, staring at the screen and waiting for it to change. It didn’t. Instead, she might have, the undeniable smell of smoke wafting up towards her and the phone screen shattered as soon as it fell out of her fingers. 

The same ones that had, quite suddenly, burst into flames. Scarlett couldn’t catch her breath again, dangerously close to hyperventilating on Madison Avenue when she heard footsteps and a quiet voice coming towards her. She screwed her eyes closed. He didn’t stop walking. 

It was raining. “I know it doesn’t make any sense,” Alex whispered. “But you’re ok. I just—I can explain all of that. Please.” Scarlett shook her head slowly, not sure what she was objecting to, but her hand didn’t feel like it was burning and this had to be a dream. It wasn’t real. It hadn’t been before. 

“I’m sorry,” Alex said, “this isn’t going the way I thought it would at all.” Scarlett’s eyes snapped open to find him staring at her cautiously, flames flickering in between her fingers and he kept rocking into her space. Still not on purpose. “What?” “It’s not a trick, Scarlett. It’s—it’s the fate of the entire world.” She blinked once, trying to find the lie and coming up decidedly short. “Talk,” Scarlett said, and his fingers were warm when they wrapped around hers. The flames disappeared.

[comicteaparty]

September 21st-September 27th, 2019 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from September 21st, 2019 to September 27th, 2019.  The chat focused on the following question:

How would you describe the target audience for your comic?  Did you intend to aim at that audience, or did it just happen?

Deo101 (Millennium)

My target audience for millennium http://millennium.spiderforest.com/ was and is LGBT youth. Specifically teens. I know when I was a kid reading a story where gay people are just kind of... There? No jokes, no stereotypes, more than one... That would have helped me a lot. So I'm trying to make that for other kids! I think the story has reached a much wider/older audience then I intended, but I know it has helped at least some LGBT youth/young adults and that's all I could ever ask for.(edited)

spacerocketbunny

The target audience for Ghost Junk Sickness is definitely queer youth and young adults! Much like what @Deo101 (Millennium) is saying, basically we wanted something like the cool action scifi comics we read when we were younger with good queer rep that's integrated and normalized in the universe! As it turned out though, the audience we reached has been all over the place ranging from older women to big biker dudes?? Every time we go to cons we can never guess who'll purchase a book because the range is so varied! I'm sure we still reach the original target to an extent but the rest is all over the map it seems! I don't think it's a bad thing, it's just been pretty unexpected

Deo101 (Millennium)

Not bad at all ^^ more like a pleasant surprise!

spacerocketbunny

Exactly!

Deo101 (Millennium)

I think those other, older people are also looking for a story to reach their inner child... And I think that's great

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Lol, I feel the similarly way about my own story. My goal was definitely to make something me as a kiddo would have loved, which essentially would have been shonen stories but with a female majority cast. I think I already figured my target audience would be similar to me, but I've been consistently surprised by how many male identifying folks like it. I guess I do like that they can hang though X) Anyway, these are my floppy, post work out thoughts. Hopefully they make sense.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

The target audience for Phantomarine (http://www.phantomarine.com/) was never super clear from the beginning - I just wanted to make something I'd like as a teen. Luckily (or unluckily! in terms of describing it to people ) the story is a mishmash of a bunch of different genres. It's not quite a ghost story, not quite a pirate adventure, not quite a fantasy epic, but it has elements of them all. And it does seem to have attracted people who like those different genres. It may not be easy if I ever want to publish it properly (it's a little difficult to describe my 'brand' ) but as it is, it's got everything I would have liked when I was between 14 and 18.

My happiest surprise is hearing about the younger kids who have read it, understood it, and really enjoyed it. Knowing that 10-12 year olds can appreciate my work is really awesome. I try to keep the language and scary/questionable content at Harry Potter levels, but I like having some of the depth/maturity of stories like The Golden Compass. If they like Phantomarine now, I really hope they find extra enjoyment with it as they grow up. It's going to be a ride!

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Gosh, I get that feel of being multi-genre and not knowing quite how to describe your Brand X') I feel like I've gotten better at defining it over time but it's still a struggle to briefly describe what my thing even is some days. Also Golden Compass I'm always excited to find other comic folks who were also influenced by that series.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

It's my gold standard for the right blend of fantasy, reality, and maturity. It's just the best

keii4ii

The target audience for Heart of Keol (https://heartofkeol.com/) is extremely tiny, but it does have appeal for people outside of that niche. I make it for myself, and the relevant aspects of "myself" here are: a) Grew up in Korea, is living (or has lived for an extended period of time) in a predominantly English-speaking part of the world b) Bonus points if they spent some time living in rural Korea c) Is into slow burn drama about characters who could be described as being "genuine" and probably "lawful" as well d) Likes the aesthetics of fantasy settings, but is more into the mundane, almost slice of life, side of drama e) Is very much into reading between the lines for more emotional stuff. Reads a lot of heart from sceneries, possibly more than from faces. (I have face blindness and this affects how I experience comics both as a reader and as a creator)

Obviously people who meet both a) and b) are gonna be harder to find! But if one can meet c), d) and e), that's enough to enjoy the comic the way it's meant to be enjoyed, or so I hope.

The reason a) and b) matter is because it affects how the setting/aesthetics come across. To someone like me, the old Korea setting feels homey, warm, nostalgic. It's like a shorthand for "sit down and enjoy this heartfelt slow burn tale." But to others, Magical Asia might feel exciting and exotic, which isn't really what the story is meant to be, so there may be some dissonance.

seetherabbit

I haven't given much thought about the target audience for Vulperra. (https://vulperra.com/) other than then it's probably for people who like adventure, fantasy and cartoony-ish animals

Cronaj

My target audience is kind of all of the place. Initially when I began scripting my comic, Whispers of the Past, I was really into anime and manga, especially ones like Attack on Titan that were a gritty fantasy. However, since then, my style and story have changed tremendously. My target audience now tends to be young women, aged 15-25, who enjoy detailed world building in high fantasy and are definitely into family drama in story telling. Initially, I wrote the story to fit certain perameters that I myself enjoyed. For example, I am particularly obsessed with the idea of the mundane meeting the fantastical and amazing. The quiet lull of ordinary life juxtaposed by the rigor of magical entities. I specifically focus a lot on drawing beautiful artwork for the panels, because I myself am a picky-pants when it comes to selecting comics I want to read. Another one of my obsessions is a fantasy setting so detailed that you feel like if the story ended, the world would still live on. (One of my inspirations was the Inheritance series by Christopher Paolini, in which the author essentially wrote several languages, similar to Tolkien.) In reality, my readers tend to be women aged 30+ (probably who watch k-dramas like I do), and a lot of D&D players. It's fun really, discovering how much of my own hobbies bleed into my stories.

AntiBunny

Early on with AntiBunny http://antibunny.net/ I was hoping for fans of scifi and film noir. What I got were fans of classic cartoons and furries. Which is fine by me really. Furries are nice people who are passionate about their hobbies (and spend money).

Jonny Aleksey

A superhero audience was always the intention for J-Man (http://jonnyalekseydrawscomics.com/the-undefeatable-j-man/), but specifically, right now, I'm aiming for something all ages. Slightly teen drama, cartoony but grounded. My inspirations were Spectacular Spider-Man and the DCAU so anyone who likes that is the readership I expect. Hopefully I can reach people who are on the fence about superheroes. The all ages aspect is something newish relatively speaking. When I started my webcomic I wanted to stay away from the "deep real edgy" tone I made when I was in high school (shiver). It took me a bit to really get that tone down. I don't use curse words and only mild blood, but occasionally stuff that borders on teen+ go through. (there's one instance in #5 where J-Man's face gets burnt by the villain that might've been a bit much) I don't think the all ages banner is going to restrict me from telling certain storylines/character development. Just means it won't be excessively grim.

Erin/Leif & Thorn on Kickstarter

The target audience for my webcomics is LGBT nerds who want stories that give them strong feelings, and who like SF/F, anime, competent characters that don't have to take turns with the Idiot Ball to keep the plot moving, and cats. Admittedly that last bit might be redundant, since everyone on the internet likes cats.

Ash🦀

I’ll be honest with you, I’m the target audience of my comic. (http://www.fwmgofficial.com/) it’s not out yet (it’ll be out October 31st) but as the writer I’ve had a lot of time to think about it. Mostly, it’s just targeted to young adults and autistic people. I never got to see people like me in comics, so I wrote a comic where an autistic person can be the hero too, even in his own way. For me, I figure whoever likes it likes it and that’s good enough for me. (also furries. Definitely targeted furries)

Kay Rose

@Ash🦀 cant wait to read it!

Ash🦀

QwQ thank you!!

MJ Massey

So far Black Ball is pulling in a mix of people who like the vintage aesthetic (1920s and art deco with some old-school macabre for some reason?) and people who like shonen manga, which is great. Even if Black Ball isn't specifically macabre or strictly shounen (though I myself have made shounen battle manga-esque comics in the past)

DaemonDan (The Demon Archives)

Audience of my comic... Per Google it's 18-35 year old men from the US and Russia XD Which makes sense given it's a pretty hard sci-fi with a lot of military action from dudes in power armor and etc. Though I try not to go too "high octane action!1!" and explore more psychological elements too.

[la-paritalienne]

also reply to all the quetions.. 50k words for each one

vfghjklkgk this is quite demanding but quite funny and cute so. 

♡

zinc white; how are you really feeling today? no one-word answers please! — mmm i feel like i’m at the gates of a new life bc i’m truly about to start looking for a job and i guess i’m like… nostalgic for something that i haven’t really left behind yet? i might have ups and downs but i love my life, being ‘free’ all day, talking to my friends, going to the gym whenever etc… it’s kind of scary that everything is about to change, i’ll have real responsibilities and a tight schedule and idk, it’s just going to be different and possibly how the rest of my life could look indefinitely. but i’m also also excited, and also very grateful for what i have, i’m having a very nice night and i love my friends 

cadmium yellow; when you think of the word “happy” what’s the first thing that comes to mind? — bits and pieces of my life. it’s small moments but they mean everything. being on the beach with no worries at all. going to the cinema with my brother to see the new star wars movie, how i’m always about to tear up as it starts. crying happy tears in the metro while going the gym. how i feel when i see my parents at the airport in rome and everything that might weighing me down

lemon; what’s your comfort food? — it has to include lots of melted cheese and possibly carbs, so either pizza or a grilled cheese sandwich basically, but also a parmigiana di melanzane wouldn’t be half bad 

hansa yellow; what’s your guilty pleasure song? — idk if i believe in this concept, especially when it comes to songs… like music is supposed to be music and there’s no guilt in listening to like, ‘lighter’ stuff i guess? like i would say ‘what makes you beautiful’ but that pleasure is so not guilty… maybe atm i kinda feel like that with ‘dove e quando’ by benji e fede but like… it’s a jam so gjggkgkg ok this is a stupid reply, i’m sorry! 

yellow ochre; name an artist/band whom you just discovered & can’t get enough of! — mmmmm just discovered i’m not sure, but quite recently (beginning on this summer) this amazing artist named skott who also has a new song out these days (still need to listen to it) 

naples yellow; where do you feel most at home? — mm… a while ago i would have said here and only here in paris but tbh, my parents’ home in rome also always feels like home, although in a different way, as if i go back to being younger, a slightly different version of myself back there. so yeah, maybe paris would be the number one place, but where my family is, i feel at home, also at the seaside.

raw sienna; with whom do you feel most at home? — myself, my mom, my dad and my brother 

golden ochre; describe the relationship you have with your closest friend. — i have a few very close friends and i love them all a looot, but i’ll choose one in particular for the purposes of this reply, sooo. ummm i love her so much and i want to be there for her no matter what, i think she’s super fun and we have great times together, but we also talk about serious stuff, she’s been there for me through a lot. she’s interesting and cute, but also quite a deep and complex person, which is something i really appreciate and find quite fascinating, like i love being around people like that, i love when they share thoughts / ideas / views of the world that i wouldn’t have come up with myself, i find it enriching. of course i wish she was always happy and serene and that’s not always the case, but who is? and i mean, she’s my friend, i just love the whole package. she is an amazing listener and for that i’ll never stop being grateful, gives amazing advice, has the best stories that often make me crack tf up, great taste in music and in general... and a lot more 

golden deep; what’s your favorite season? — i love summer, but i also like a chilly autumn, especially on a sunny day, with the wind kind of brisk… but not necessarily, rainy days are cool too and idk, autumn is underrated but i love it, i love how cosy it feels, how comforting it feels when the weather sucks and you don’t feel ‘guilty’ for lazying around the house, how sweating at the gym becomes more satisfactory, love layered clothes etc… yay 

cadmium orange; what do you like to do on your days off? — go to the gym, make a meal for myself (i like making big salads with lots of different things in them, especially if some elements require cooking, it feels like a treat to me bc i normally don’t have the time / the energy for actual cooking), indulge in some dessert, a walk by myself or with some friend…

orange lake; do you have anyone you can turn to when you’re sad? — yes, my friends are quite dependable (hope this is the right word?), like maybe not all of them all the time, but there’s always someone willing to listen. + my brother

titans; do you prefer slow mornings or relaxing evenings? — why not both gkgkggkgk but i’m actually more productive in the morning and i don’t really mind starting my day as soon as i wake up, so i’ll go for evenings. 

shakhnazaryan red; are you currently binge-watching anything? — i replied to this one but not right now, the i-land was cool tho! 

red ochre; are you more right-brained (creative) or left-brained (analytical)? — i think i’m a mix of both in a way that like… i’m neither?? i try to be analytical but i’m too emotional and i guess i’m creative but i’m not truly an artist so i really don’t know, maybe from the outside someone could interpret me better? if i think about it, i think i manage to be quite analytical when it comes to others, but as far as i’m personally concerned, i live in fantasy, hypothesis, this sort of nostalgic and ‘artsy’ world of mine, maybe?

burnt sienna; is there a painting that brings you peace when you look at it? — nothing that comes to my mind like that, my favorite artists don’t exactly bring me peace, i like art that’s kind of exciting and often colorful (matisse, kandinsky, picasso, rothko) so i’m not sure, but my parents have the print of a beautiful gaugin painting in their room, and that’s always reminded me of home and calm and it’s also gorgeous, so i generally associate gauguin’s girls to this peaceful, blissful feeling.

english red; what animal do you relate to most? — a house cat. lazy but at times gets the urge to jump around and tire itself just so then they can lay on the sofa with more satisfaction. eating is what makes it get up 90 per cent of the time. cuddlier and more affectionate than it looks

vermilion; what’s your favorite accent? — mmmm i love a british accent but i also love lots of italian accents, especially on my friends, like if i associate it to them i like it even more.

cadmium red; do you have a “type” when it comes to a significant other? — not really, i just want to be loved tbh. i mean of course there’s some personality traits that i always find attractive and i had a gym girl phase but i wouldn’t say i have a type, i’m open to anything 

scarlet; describe your current crush/es. — well she’s gorgeous, talented, an advocate for body positivity, an amazing singer, feminist icon, savvy businesswoman, looks good w any kind of hair, she’s richer than beyoncé and also nicer tbh... she has a makeup brand which i’m obsessed with, a lingerie brand, a (super expensive sadly) clothing brand... the most amazing eyes....... i love her 

ruby; what does your ideal first date look like? — mm nice dinner somewhere cosy and warm but not too noisy so we can talk, ideally there’s no awkward silences and we just talk about ourselves, find out we have some stuff in common, there’s laughter etc. nothing extra, just a nice night with someone i like 

carmine; what does your ideal second date look like? — like the first one but we know each other better so maybe something even chiller like a picnic or a dinner at home??

madder lake red; would you ever kiss someone (or accept a kiss) on a first date? — yeah i mean it depends on the mood, the chemistry, the connection etc. also like if it’s a date w someone i already knew then that’s more likely to happen, if it’s a date that kind of started off like a date... idk, not exactly blind but like we haven’t exactly been friends before, then maybe there’s some pressure and i’m not sure if that would happen, but i wouldn’t say no as a rule.

rose; what’s something really positive going on in your life right now? — a friend of mine from the gym and her daughter (also a friend but i know the mom better) spontaneously offered to help me with my curriculum, to make it look prettier and more appealing. i mean it’s nothing huge and i could mention my friends or my family but i think it’s clear that i love them and that they’re a positive part of my life, so i thought i’d share this little bit of unexpected kindness that i’ve been receiving. 

quinacridone rose; what’s something you’re really looking forward to? — mahmood’s concert!

violet rose; what does your dream house look like? — an airy, luminous apartment in paris, not necessarily huge but bigger than the one i have right now, neatly furnished w the kind of stuff i would reblog on tumblr bc it’s so aesthetic, lots of white, gold and pops of color like dusty pink, peach, yellow. ancient parquet, high ceilings, white walls but maybe not all of them... like some color could be nice but that will depend on how the house is structured. a fireplace w mirror above (classic parisian), huge windows, a balcony big enough for a table where i can have breakfast in the sun and a chaise where i can tan and relax, and a beautiful view. a fancy bathroom with beautiful tiles or a mosaic, a bath tub is mandatory. and i’d like a walk-in closet

violet; is there any place in particular you’d like to settle down? — i think i’ve settled where i like, but who knows!

blue lake; what would you like to do/accomplish before you settle down? — not exactly, like when i realized paris felt like home i thought ‘so maybe i have no idea what i want to do with my life, but at least i know where i wanna be’ so that’s it

cobalt blue spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to? — probably tunisia, but i’ve recently been to normandy and i feel like i left a piece of my heart there, i feel like it’s going to be a special place for me, where i’ll go back often and make memories, if that makes sense

ultramarine; when was the last time you were in a good mood? do you know/remember what sparked it? — i think last night (when i started replying to this) simply because i was having fun w a friend. i’m not in a bad mood now but it’s like normal, plus i’m talking to my mom bc my grandma broke her foot so there’s stress in the air 

blue; what’s the most recent dream you remember? — ooooh just last night i dreamed that i was babysitting the kids i used to babysit until last year, they had two houses and they were old enough to be alone in one of them as i cleaned the other, which i didn’t have to do tho bc the floor was already wet as if someone had just cleaned it, which made me happy! i then had to wash some dishes but the kids arrived and we started eating leftovers

bright blue; what does your dream family look like? any kids or pets? how many of each? — (mom, dad, brother (2 years younger than me) and luna, fluffy, fat, adorably mean huge cat, she’s 15 but super healthy (except for neurotically licking her own belly so much that she has no hair there -.-), she’s our love) i had read what does your family look like gjgjgffjgfkgkgkgmfmgkk sorryyyy luckily i checked. well then in that case my wife, two kids (ideally the eldest is a girl and then a boy but like gender is a social construct you know) and definitely a cat or two 

blue cobalt; do you like your name? would you give yourself a different name if you could? — i do! no, i don’t think so. sometimes i think about how names are just names and like... we’re people beyond that but at the same time i feel like i am my name, you know? so i’m cool with it and i couldn’t see myself w another 

prussian azure; what’s your favorite scent? — the one that comes out of bakeries, like fresh bread or cakes, so distinctive and warming... mlmlmlml

azure blue; what’s your favorite type of tea, if any? — i love tea in general, but black rose & vanilla tea is my absolute fav

turquoise blue; if you could start a garden, what would you plant? — i don’t have a green thumb, i think, but peonies first of all 

cerulean blue; if you were guaranteed to have a viewership, would you start a youtube vlog? — probably, idk if i’d show my face bc i think i’d feel weird, but maybe after a while if i get comfortable? why not? you get a community who cares about you and most of all the chance to distract / entertain people and maybe even help them through hard times. ...and gifts djgjgkgkkgjk

glauconite; describe your body without using any negative adjectives. — gjgkhkhk a challenge but i appreciate it, i can’t be all words and no facts about body positivity. it’s minute, slightly curvy, decently toned, stronger than it looks, and it’s healthy 

yellow green; picture yourself walking in a field. what do you see & hear in this scenario? — i see a light blue sky, my feet sink in the grass but just a bit, the grass is not extremely high (otherwise i’d freak about there being insects that i can’t notice), on the horizon it looks like a pastel colored painting bc there’s flowers. i hear the birds singing and the sound of a light breeze

green light; are you in a comfortable place in life? if not, what do you think might make it better? — i can’t complain, but a job would be grand (i mean... i don’t really want to work and i don’t think that’s what makes you accomplished as a person, but it’s capitalism baby)

green; name three countries you want to visit; do you have any actual plans in place to visit any of them? — japan, mexico, tanzania. yes for the last one bc i know someone who’s just moved there and she invited me and my mom to go visit. 

emerald green; do you speak any languages besides english? are there any additional languages you want to learn? — italian bc i’m italian and french bc i live in france... sadly no others, but i want to. i’ve always wanted to learn arabic or japanese, but maybe i’ll start w something simpler and more similar to what i know already

oxide of chromium; what’s your favorite book? — i can’t choose one, i have too many that touched my life at the time i read them and made me go like wow, this is my fave. i’ll mention: the red and the black by stendhal, the enchanted mountain by thomas mann, persuasion by jane austen, the remains of the day and never let me go by ishiguro, the trilogy of the city of k by agota kristoff...

olive green; are you currently reading anything? how do you like it so far? — i’ll start a book called sorcières (witches) and i’m curious and excited about it, i’ll let you know

mars brown; what’s a movie that always puts a smile on your face/makes you laugh? — the holy trinity of my happy go to movies: monster in law, mean girls and the devil wears prada

burnt umber; what’s something you plan to do before the day is over to take care of yourself? — going to the gym!

umber; have you drank enough water today? — the day has just started and i’ve had two cups of tea. i try to stick to 2lt per day, but i’ve not been able to do it recently, which i plan to change.

voronezhskaya black; what or who is your go-to outlet for when you need to vent? — ghgkhkgkfkgk i thought for a second this was about a clothing store outlet. normally i try and talk it out w one of my friends, my mom or brother if it’s very serious or not something i wanna burden my friends with, but i also distract myself with some tv show or (yay capitalism -.-) retail therapy 

sepia; name five things that always make you happy. — a nice chat w a friend, an exhausting workout, finding (or being suggested) new music that i immediately feel myself getting obsessed with, saying yes to spontaneous, last minute plans and really enjoying myself although i often have that moment of ‘i don’t want to go’, being sent photos or memes 

indigo; what’s the best/sweetest compliment you have ever received? — probably something that ‘golden ochre’ said to me... but also something that really warms my heart is when my friend eleonora says that i’m the smartest person she knows and like... really means it. i don’t think she’s right, it’s not even about the compliment per se, but that’s she’s so serious when she says it, it makes me happy

payne’s gray; describe your aesthetic? — light grey parisian skies, a pink sunrise over the sea, glittery makeup... glittery everything tbh, notebooks filled w memories - pressed flowers, cinema tickets, photos of places i loved... mermaids, fluffy cats, pastel colors, tiny gold jewelry, a decadent buffet, a bouquet of peonies, huge empty beaches, a walk-in closet filled with incredible clothes, lana del rey x vogue italia june 2019

black; post a selfie because you are so beautiful! — fhgjgkgkg this is the most recent, closest thing i have to a selfie that’s not w some other people. it’s from pride and i was happy of my rainbow eye makeup but it doesn’t even show... sorryyyyy 

thank you for asking all of theseeee ♡

[padfootagain]

A Recipe For Love (VI)

Part 6 : The First Christmas

Here is the sixth part of my series 'A Recipe for Love'! Had to decide where to go with this story, if I was to keep it flawless or complicate things and... you'll discover what I've chosen to do I guess :)

I hope you all like it!

Thank you to @riacollins for the amazing aesthetic she did for this series!

Word Count : 3393

It felt surreal. Like you were lost in the middle of a dream from which you  never wanted to wake up. Dusk was painting colourful shapes in the sky, red and gold now mingling with purple through the Heavens, but nor you nor Caspian meant to move away from this blanket the two of you were lying upon. You nuzzled your face against the crook of his neck, his short beard tickling your skin, making him smile.

"Shouldn't we join your parents?" Caspian asked after a long and comfortable silence.

You groaned, shaking your head.

"Five more minutes," you mumbled.

He laughed, tightening his hold around you body, pressing you even more against him.

"We should go before night would fall."

"Caspian?" you breathed, ignoring him. "What's going to happen now?"

"Well... weren't we supposed to celebrate an early Christmas with your family?"

You giggled.

"Yes, but I didn't mean that, I meant... about us?"

He pulled away just enough to stare at you, his brown eyes diving into your worried gaze.

"Well... I... I don't know," he answered cautiously. "What would you like to happen now?"

He felt you slipping away from his grasp, and he didn't dare to stop you.

"I... I don't think that what I want is possible," you whispered, fleeing his intense stare.

"What would you want, Y/N?"

"This," you whispered, before taking a sharp intake of breath. "What we've been doing since we came up here."

He grinned.

"Well... that's exactly what I want as well," he smiled, cupping your cheek.

"But it's impossible."

"Why would it be impossible?" he asked his smile faltering as he frowned.

"I'm a cook and you..."

"Don't say it."

You fell silent, looking up at him again. His tone was suddenly colder, more in pain as well. He shook his head, anger shining beyond his chocolate brown eyes.

"It doesn't matter," he said fervently. "Your work, mine, it doesn't matter at all."

"It does, Caspian."

"No, it doesn't. Not when it comes to this. Not when it comes to who I love."

He rested his forehead against yours, heaving a sigh.

"I love you, Y/N," he whispered, his lips so close to yours that you could feel his warm breath brushing your sensitive skin. "I love you, and no one has the right to take this away from us, do you understand?"

You nodded, closing your eyes.

"But what will your people think?"

"I don't care about what they think..."

"You're King. And a good one. Of course you care."

"Trust me, Y/N, about this, I don't care about their opinion."

"Do you promise?"

"You have my word."

"Then... What will happen now?"

"Now? I was thinking about kissing you," he smirked, brushing his nose against yours, making you giggle and blush fiercely.

"That's not what I meant," you laughed.

He pulled you into a kiss anyway, his heart skipping a beat as his lips colliding with yours, his eyes instantly closing. He felt like he had suddenly found something he had been looking for during all his life, something he had been missing and had suddenly found. He felt complete with you in his arms, he felt peaceful and invincible.

One thing was for sure, he never wanted this feeling to disappear.

When you finally pulled away, it was to rest your forehead against Caspian's, your eyes still closed.

"We'll be together then?" you asked in a whisper.

"If you want me," he nodded.

You blushed fiercely, laughing.

"Of course I do want you," you whispered shyly.

He dropped a sweet peck upon your nose.

"Then we'll be together, and I won't let anyone tear us apart. Deal?"

You grinned, his feathery touch sending butterflies across your stomach as he trailed his fingertips down your neck.

"Deal."

 ------------------------------------------------------------------

 "Stop being so nervous."

You giggled at the sight of his flushed cheeks.

"I'm about to meet your family, of course I am nervous," he replied.

You took his hand in yours, smiling tenderly at him.

"My parents will adore you," you reassured.

"You didn't tell them that I am king, did you?"

"No, I didn't."

"Well... this is the promise for an interesting reaction, that is for sure."

You both chuckled as you made your way through the now deserted streets, the night scaring the inhabitants away from the cold paths. Caspian readjusted the blanket upon your shoulders to make sure that you would stay warm despite the falling snow.

"Perhaps I should not tell them," he said softly, a little frown appearing across his brow as he seemed to be thinking.

"Why not?" you asked back.

He shrugged.

"I don't want them to feel uncomfortable."

"They won't feel uncomfortable."

He raised an eyebrow.

"You did feel uncomfortable around me at first," he argued.

You opened your mouth to reply, trying to contradict him, but you had to admit that he was right.

"I don't reckon that lying to them during your first encounter is a good idea either," you told him as you entered the right street.

"You have a point," he nodded.

You finally came to a stop before your parents' house. You could hear the sound of laughter and voices coming from inside the house already.

Caspian took a deep breath.

"Ready?" you asked with a smile.

He nodded, letting you knock on the door.

Not five seconds passed before the door opened to reveal your father, a grin across his face.

"Y/N! How are you, my child?" he asked, taking you in his arms.

"I'm fine, father," you grinned back, kissing his cheek.

"Come in, come in, it's freezing outside!"

You walked in, Caspian following you in silence, a shy smile on his lips. Inside the room, your sister and your brother were already sitting around the wooden table, along with your uncle and your mother. They all cheered at your sight, standing up to hug you all in turns, while Caspian was patiently waiting behind you.

"Y/N, you should introduce your friend," your father reminded you, but he was already offering his open hand to Caspian. "I'm Y/N's father, Samuel."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. I'm Caspian."

"Caspian! What a funny name!" your uncle blurted out, laughing while shaking his hand. "Like the king!"

You and Caspian exchanged a glance.

"Actually, he is the king," you smiled.

But your whole family exploded with laughter.

"Yeah, of course!" your brother mocked you.

"Raphael!" you tried to protest, but your whole family was laughing.

"Come and sit down, Caspian," your mother invited him to sit around the table.

You sat down next to him, and the next second, wine had been served for him and food was already set upon the table.

"So, Caspian... how did you and Y/N meet?" your sister asked.

"We... we met in the Castle," he answered elusively.

"So you work in the Castle too?"

"Indeed."

"I heard the king was building a brand new building that he would add to the structure of the Castle," your mother said. "They say it was meant for the domestics. Is it true, Y/N?"

"Yes, it is," you nodded. "We'll all have better rooms soon."

"That's very generous of him," your sister nodded.

"He should have done it sooner and never let his employees live in bad conditions in the first place," your father said harshly.

"He didn't know, father," you defended Caspian, throwing him a discreet glance.

"How could he not know?" Raphael asked.

"Do you really think that the king would visit the rooms of the domestics for fun?" your mother replied.

"Rosie has a point," your uncle nodded. "And he apparently took measures when he learnt about it, so all his fine."

"What do you think about it, Caspian?" your brother asked him.

Caspian looked down at his plate.

"I think he should have known much earlier. I think it should have never had happened," he answered softly.

"But if he's not in charge of making sure that they are living in decent rooms, how can he know?" Rosie argued. "If someone else is supposed to take care of it?"

"It happened in the Castle, and more than anywhere in Narnia, he's supposed to protect the people living there," Caspian shook his head. "He should have made sure that everyone had a decent room himself."

"Anyway, he's taking decisions now. I heard that some of you now sleep in the guests quarters," your sister said excitedly. "Do you?"

"Yes, I do!" you smiled.

"How is it?"

"It's... richly decorated."

Everyone around the table laughed.

The conversation drifted away from the Castle for a rather long while after that. As no one in your family had ever seen the king before, none of them noticed any resemblance between Caspian and the king beside their names, and it seemed that none believed in his true identity. One thing that didn't go unnoticed though, to all in the room, was the way you were looking at Caspian, and the way he was looking back at you. And your father was getting quieter and quieter as the evening flew by.

"And how about your business, uncle?" you asked the man next to you.

But he winced.

"It has seen better days," he admitted. "I used to trade a lot with the people in the north, you know? But these days, they have stopped almost all trades. I would be lying if I didn't admit that I am struggling these days."

"What kind of business do you run?" Caspian asked.

"I'm a smith," your uncle answered with a proud smile. "And a good one. But without my usual clients, I find myself in a difficult situation."

"Why did they stop the trades?" your sister asked.

But your uncle shrugged.

"Apparently they hold grievances against the King or something... And there's also the fact that they didn't like losing the war they fought against us. Some say that they could be a threat."

"And what does the King say?" your brother asked.

"Nothing so far," Samuel answered.

"He is trying to find an agreement and to negotiate," Caspian intervened.

"I heard that there has been an offer proposed to the King but he refused it," Rosie added.

"Why would he refuse an offer?" Raphael asked.

"Because it wasn't a fair one," Caspian answered quietly.

But Raphael snorted.

"Yeah, he's not the one struggling to pay the rent, right?"

Caspian stared intensely at your brother, but didn't say a word.

"What kind of proposition could he refuse?" Raphael went on.

"Maybe they didn't give him enough gold," your father mocked.

"Could we change the subject?" you asked, noticing how Caspian was clenching his jaw a bit more tightly at every second that passed by.

"What kind of offer could he refuse?" Raphael asked again anyway.

"Perhaps you just don't know the situation in its entirety," you said, your tone now annoyed.

"I mean, even if they ask for a few advantages about taxes or things like that, it's still better than nothing," Raphael went on, ignoring your remark.

"It was an arranged marriage," Caspian blurted out.

They all looked at him.

"What?" Raphael frowned.

"The offer was an arranged marriage," Caspian repeated. "With one of their daughters."

"Could be worse than marrying a princess," Raphael joked.

But Caspian merely stared at him.

"It still means marrying someone you don't love."

"And for us it still means less money..."

"The problem is purely about trades and economics, and it should be solved by agreements and low taxation, not by forcing two people to marry each other," Caspian replied coolly.

There was something kingly now in his tone, a sternness that was not there before, and your uncle noticed it, a frown now appearing on his elder face.

"If it's for the greater good..."

"It will not happen."

There was such determination burning in Caspian's tone as he pronounced the last sentence that an uncomfortable silence settled into the room.

"I think I need some fresh air," you mumbled.

You stood up and strode towards the door, not paying attention to your family that stared at you. You could hear Caspian's feet hitting the wooden floor after you, and were not surprised when he closed the door behind him and joined you under the falling snow.

"We should have grabbed our coats," he pointed out.

You didn't answer. You kept your back to him, unwilling to let him see the tears that were shining in your eyes.

He came closer anyway, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and resting his cheek against your hair.

"It will not happen," he said softly, and his tone was not one to accept arguments. "Y/N, I will not marry any of them."

"You heard them, even my family wants you to do this..." you whispered, but your voice broke.

"Then we're lucky they are not in charge of the decision."

You turned around, taking his hands in yours as you fell into his brown eyes, turning to face him.

"I don't want you to have problems because of me," you breathed shyly.

But you were met with nothing but an amused smile.

"I am ready to face as many problems as needed as long as I can be with you," he said tenderly, brushing a lock of your hair away from your face.

The two of you exchanged a smile.

"Trust me," he told you. "This arranged marriage will not happen."

You nodded, before resting your forehead against his shoulder, relaxing under his soothing touch as Caspian stroked your back.

"I love you, Caspian," you breathed against his shirt, your voice hushed by the fabric and a mere whisper.

"I love you too, Y/N," Caspian kissed your temple. "I love you, and no one can ever change that."

You both jumped when the door opened, revealing... your entire family.

They all had a shy expression on their faces, staring at Caspian as his arms slowly unwrapped from around your body to fall by his sides.

"You... you really are the king... aren't you?" your uncle asked in a whisper.

Caspian warmly smiled.

"I'm afraid I am," he nodded.

"By Aslan's name..." your sister breathed, before making a movement to bend.

But Caspian stopped her.

"No, please..."

"We should have never said all those things," your mother apologized.

But Caspian quickly stopped her.

"We should come back inside," your father breathed.

You started to follow your parents inside, but were interrupted by the loud sound of galloping horses coming closer.

At the sight of riders coming towards the house throughout the night and the falling snow, Caspian remained before the door, his whole body now tensed.

"Caspian..." you breathed, a worried expression on your face.

But he shook his head, pushing you softly away to make sure that you would walk inside.

Only when the riders were close enough for him to recognize their armours did Caspian finally relax, walking towards the newcomers.

He smiled at the sight of Reepicheep, sitting on the shoulder of one of Caspian's generals.

"We are sorry to interrupt, your Highness," the mouse apologized. "I'm afraid there is an emergency."

"What happened, Reep?" Caspian merely asked.

"Lords from the North are on their way to the Castle."

"What?!"

"They were seen at the border, they should be there before tomorrow night."

"They were not supposed to come before the New Year..."

Reepicheep merely shrugged.

Caspian heaved a frustrated sigh, trying to count how many hours he would need to travel, to organize everything for the Lords' arrival...

No, he didn't have a choice...

"I'm coming, Reep."

He turned towards you, an apologetic expression on his features.

"I'm sorry, I have to go. I must be there when they arrive."

You nodded, taking a step towards him.

"Of course, you need to go."

You exchanged a smile, before Caspian would turn to your family.

"I'm terribly sorry I have to leave like this. Thank you so much for your hospitality, and for your dinner, it was delicious."

He turned towards the mouse again.

"Reep, you'll stay here for tonight. You'll accompany Y/N back to the Castle tomorrow."

"Of course, my Liege," the knight nodded, jumping to the ground.

"I can come back alone," you breathed shyly, uncomfortable at the idea of bothering Reepicheep.

But Caspian shook his head.

"You can't take the risk to travel alone. Reep will make sure you're safe."

You chuckled.

"Now, here you are worrying about me again," you joked, making him smile.

"I'm afraid it's my doom from now on," he whispered, pressing a kiss to your brow. "I'll see you in the Castle, okay?"

You nodded, smiling at him as your mother handed him his cloak and he walked away from your house.

Reepicheep turned towards you.

"My lady, if it doesn't bother you, I will take a walk for a few minutes. I've been sitting for several hours, and my legs are all numb."

"Of... of course," you nodded, stuttering, your cheeks flushed at the sound of someone calling you 'lady'. "We'll let the door open, just knock when you come back."

The mouse bowed low and walked away, his little paws leaving traces into the thick layer of snow.

You closed the door behind you as you walked back inside your parents house...

.... to be met with excited shrieks.

"THE KING!" your sister shouted.

"And wait... does that mean that the two of you are..." Raphael asked.

You blushed fiercely, failing at refraining this grin that craved to appear on your lips.

"He... We..." you stuttered, unable to find the right words, but the colour of your cheeks and the joy in your eyes was enough to make your family understand.

"I'm so happy for you! But the KING!" your sister couldn't believe it.

"I guess... There are little arguments that I could find against a king," your father smiled.

You hugged him.

"Thank you, father."

"He seems to be kind to you," he nodded.

A dreamy smile formed on your lips.

"You can't imagine how much."

 ------------------------------------------------

 "I thank you for your warm welcome."

"I hope your rooms will be to your and your daughter's liking."

"I am sure they will be."

"Take the night to rest, we shall discuss of important matters tomorrow," Caspian said softly. "Are you certain that you do not want to eat anything? I could ask for food to be brought to your room if you are too tired for an official dinner."

"It is very kind of you, Your Highness," the lord smiled. "But we ate on the road, and I am afraid that my daughter and I long for nothing but sleep now."

"I understand, of course. I will see you tomorrow morning then. Good night Lord Lirian. Good night, Lady Clarissa."

The blond woman grinned seductively, bowing before the king.

"Good night, Your Highness. I am more than delighted to finally meet you," she said, her voice made of poisoned honey.

Caspian politely smiled and nodded, leaving Lord Lirian and his daughter Clarissa free to reach their rooms, Lord Emras acting as their guide.

But instead of staying in the corridor, Emras walked into Lirian's room, quickly followed by Clarissa and her father, who closed the door behind him.

"So... how is the situation?" Lirian asked Emras, getting straight to the point.

He poured himself a glass of red wine, before handing another to Emras. They sat down on the sofa before the fire, warming their hands to the flames.

"I have no knowledge of the King courting anyone," Emras said. "He has not accepted your offer though."

Lirian laughed.

"Give him a moment with my Clarissa and he will be convinced," Lirian reassured him. "But I am counting on you to make sure that my daughter has no rival."

"I have no knowledge of any woman that the king could be courting," Emras repeated.

"Good. Now, you'll have to make sure to keep it this way."

Emras nodded.

"Then..." Lirian spoke again, raising his glass before him, "let's drink to a long alliance between our lands, and a long wedding..."

"To a long wedding," Emras smiled.

He drank up his glass of wine, a little smile on his face.

If the king couldn't see reason, Emras was determined to force him into the right path, no matter what it would take...

**************************

Tag list : @geeksareunique, @giggleberts, @sad-orange-thoughts, @aylinnmaslow, @haritini2000, @ladyblablabla, @drinix, @joelynnp, @wearetalkingtoyou, @riacollins, @benbarnesfanforever, @divisionlunar, @captainbarness

[goprandall]

DC MASTERPOST >3

It’s no secret the DC universe is something of a DCpointment. There’s no cohesion in sotrylines, films are released at odd and illogical times and I decided to rewatch and give proper reviews.

MAN OF STEEL 2013 7/10

This film is something of an outlier on the DCEU, because it is not terrible.

The strengths of this film are defiantly the first act, I feel it was a clear and concise way to create backstory without the stereotypes of following him through childhood into adulthood, they did a great job of creating krypton and establishing an antagonist with a clear motive. I liked the jump straight into adult with flashbacks when confronted with items from his past, it allowed us to understand his past without saturating his journey all at once. Arguably the first arc of this film is completed here with Clark/kal discovering who he is and why he is here. The second arc of General Zod trying to bring back his people is still very well done, providing us more relevant backstory and shows logical actions from both sides of the fight nearing the end of the film. The biggest weakness of the film in my opinion is that it is 20 minutes too long. When superman destroys Zods ship killing the artificial children of krypton, I feel this arc was complete, although the after fight solely fought between SM and Zod does show us the struggle superman goes through becoming the last kryptonite in exaistance, this does not outweigh the pointless mass destruction this causes, on top of a already destroyed city. In my cut this would be disregarded.

Final thoughts of the film; my favourite part was the shot of ‘ALERT’ that slowly turns to ‘Toner empty’, a good transition and piece of direction. I’m giving this film 7/10, in my classification would make it a good Netflix film, one I’d be happy to watch but not pay money to solely see. It was a hard choice to not make it a 6 however, I rank wonder women as a 7, and this is more than equally as good, the only things preventing me from giving it a higher rank is it’s rewatchability. Personally I rarely would due to its lack of joy and humour, and overall darkness, not just in plot but also in cinematography and colour grading.

BATMAN V SUPERMAN 2016 6/10

Batman v superman had all the the ingredients to be the summer blockbuster, but as predicted it followed every DC film and tanked.

Their are some aspects of this film that are genuinely good, giving it a 6, one of those things is the first act of the film where we are introduced to Batman, although I didn’t personally feel the need for another origin story, the way this scene is directed especially with the earl sequence is fantastic, adding depth and differing from older versions of the same story. The other good thing about this film is the Batman fight scene, it is so well articulated and choreographed, i struggle to see how it fits within the wider film which is strangely badly directed, edited and in-cohesive.

Continuing from this idea, I feel the dream sequences are one of the leading problems for the in-cohesion of the film, the issue with these sequences is, if they are not well done it stops the audience trusting more daring scenes, ultimately taking you out of the story. Next, I feel another reason this doesn’t live up to its hype is, again, DCs continuous frenzy of oversaturating it’s film with characters. Here I argue Wonder women is not needed in the end fight, the fight could just have easily gone on sitbout her, or, if they had released wonder women before this film so we felt more engrossed in the character it wouldn’t been fine. However her and all the other justice league promo clips, should not have been in the film in the context they were as they’re a corporate shoehorn, promoting further projects. The other character I feel is unneeded is ‘Doomsday’, he’s quickly thrown in at the end of the film, and honesty an antigunist shown to us at the end of the film will never give the depth and fear of a hero fight, as a villain shown throughout the movie.

To me, Batman V Superman is a movie. Not a film, crafted and worked on to create a narrative for the audience, but a summer movie to get the kids out the house. The idea of having two meta humans as important as Batman and superman battling each other should boggle the mind, as the first avengers did for me or civil war for a closer comparison. But the difference with the MCU spectaculars is, they earned their right to blow people’s minds, DC is playing catch up and trying to get praise and awe without the hard work.

SUICIDE SQUAD 2016 3/10

Wow. This review has been hard to create and will most likely feature ideas from other reviews via podcasts and YouTube due to the fact this movie boggled my head in the sheer awfullness that ensued.

As always, I begin with the strengths of the film. In this instance it’s slight. I loved the aesthetics of the branding for the film, the colours, the neon animations, I loved it all. The mini descriptions in the film were funny and added to the VeRy little personalities of the characters. It is important to point out this clearly wasn’t present in the first edits of the film, but due to good feedback of later trailers that were released they were added, which is why this element of humour is the only of its kind that lands in the film.

Next I normally look into the storyline and the character arcs of the film, arguably my second favourite aspect to look for in a film. In suicide squad there is none, and there aren’t any. That sounds harsh, but the reality is there is no cohesive storyline, it follows no one character individually and the film darts back and fourth between every character, no matter the timeframe. Dean Dobbs (from adventures with dean and Bertie’s podcast) best describes this as ‘like playing a video game where someone is skipping every cutscene’ and this is absolutly true, especially when looking at the relationship of the joker and Harley Quinn. This film is so badly edited, As jack Howard describes, this film contains no scenes, it is obvious the whole film was rehashed and re-edited after the release of BVS (which crashed at the box office) and the final trailer was released, which was very different from the first few as it showed humour and action, and it is evident they cut out almost everything apart from these things. I would best describe it as many GoPrandall videos I have scrapped as I tend to forget to film opening sequencers and filler clips to show the progression of the story told apart from the action, and this is exactly how I felt about the editing of this film, they did the best with what they got but it wasn’t enough.

Although there was a lack of character arcs, this film had an ABUNDANT amount of characters to fill its shoes. This film crams as many famous faces in as many characters

As it can, because for some reason DC refuses to create stand alone films due to the catch up to the MCU that’s going on. We’ll start with the joker, or more exactly the 10 minuets of joker we got. Many scenes with the joker were so heavily edited, and deleted, it is hard to judge Jared Letos performance, because he didn’t have chance to give one. But, as a side note the hand on the mouth laugh is one of the WORST cinema moments I’ve experienced only closely beaten by ‘were bad guys it’s what we do’. Yuck. But we’ll finally look at the ‘suicide squad’, although looking at them it’s hard to identify why they are in this squad. We’ll start with reason no one on the team seems to have a reason to be there, aprt from deadshot, who had his daughters arc to think about. All the others just seem to around and don’t want to die and get out of prison. VERY good motives DC, you’ve outdone yourself this time. Next we can look at the abilities of this so called ‘meta human’ squad and how under utilised they really are, which could show why this film failed so badly. Firstly deadshot- ‘never misses a bullet- amazing at trick shots.’ Who in the film performs close quarter headshots, the same as the Seal team next to him, and in the film performs 1 trick shot. 1. That was in establishing scene right at the beginning, but he isn’t the only victim, we can look at Boomerang, my favourite character by far, with one the coolest abilities, who throws a total of:5 boomerangs and catches: 2. Let’s be honest Harely is there as the jokers Love Interest and to keep him in the film. We can also look at el deablo, the man that can shoot fire but refuses until he’s bullied for a whole minute. The worlds worst archaeologist who starts the entire battle, after BREAKING AN ANTIQUE immediatly after finding it (bravo) who if wasn’t attempted to be weaponised, would’ve skipped this whole mess. Slipknot, a man who could climb any wall or anything, who immediatly dies after climbing a wall, but don’t worry because they don’t even want you to worry about this due to the fact they don’t even intro him before he magically appears on the squad, hoping the audience will react ‘oh he’s going to be important!!! What a mystery man!!’. This is almost as bad as Katana, who adds nothing the story apart from a short intro and when she cries to her dead husband, at which point I began to cut my toenails, something I gave more of a shit about.

But, it is obvious I’m a teenage marvel fanboy just shitting on DC,and I hate when people complain without offering another viewpoint, therefore, to fix this, I would dedicate this film to the viewpoint of deadshot, giving him the character arc of changing with the goal of seeing his daughter- eliminate the extra characters- slipknot/katana and either dedicate more time to the joker and harley sub plot or eliminate entirely, NOT BOTH. With this, better editing around these eliminated plot points could make a more coherent story with more empathetic story arcs. I have a full idea for a plot but this is too long as it is.

WONDER WOMEN 2017 7/10

Wonder women is a refreshing instalment into the DCEU, showing they seem to e learning, but are still falling behind on some of the most basic hurdles.

Firstly, as always we’ll start off with the strengths of his film, firstly it is vividly important to recognise that this is the first major Superhero film to be directed, and sustain a heavy female cast. It does so fantastically and leaves me more excited for the next instalment now knowing female directors and stars now have evidence for an accomplished superhero movie, which arguably has outdone the past 2 major films. With this we see a brilliantly refreshing opening act with a subtle and bright, vibrant origin story.

However, this film slowly returns to madness throughout the film when major plot holes appear, and the film making quality slowly deteriorates. Firstly, the iggest plot hole that has been so easily overlooked is the WW1 aspect. Given a World War Two film, having the Germans be the sole enemy is obvious and logical, however WW1 is not as simple as this and the use of Germans as the enemies is vaguely lazy. Also, as DC loves to do, it adds in extra characters and neglects to give them logical and coherent backstory and arcs. We only need to look at the ‘best marksman in the war’ who doesn’t fire a single shot, and continues not too all the way to the end of the film, showing no growth. The final plot hole is what draws it into the wider EU. The entirety of this film is showing Diana that the human race is bad and should be left alone, although when she defeats arias, this is meant to break this curse and peace seems to be restored. But, in BVS she claims to have stopped helping mankind because of their evils, neglecting Stalin, WW2 and the Vietnam war to name a few, but making a reappearance for- lex Luther. Wow.

Although in almost most of its entirety this was a pleasant watch, my personal issue stopped this at the third act when the final fight begins. To me the film returns to DCs favourite colour scheme of dark and clouded, and uses quite frankly some of the worst CGI I’ve seen recently, making me wonder why they didn’t at least try to incorporate real elements, such as Marvel, but this is still the best DC film after man of steel and I’m excited to see more female led and directed films come to screen.

JUSTICE LEAUGE 2016 5/10

This will be the shortest of the DC reviews, this is the film I’ve seen least of the lot and I feel I’ll need at least another viewing to get a full understanding. To premise this I fully understand Zack Snyder had personal issues leading him to leave and Joss take over, and this is in no way mocking him.

But I’ll dive in, maybe the fact I’m struggling to write this review tells me a lot about the movie. Wonder women was one of the only saving graces of this move, she was well understood and I feel her likeness as a character was well transferred from WW to JL. Contrary to this, I’m struggling to write about cyborg and flash, we were given next to no backstorys, although the flash’s was hinted at at least twice that I recall and what we were given were quite chaotic. Batman was a major letdown for me, coming down from BVS where he was a certified badass taking on superman, he turns into a wimp and hides for a majority of the film, quite evidently showing Ben affleck Clearly does not want to be there. I feel the overall plot of the film was almost underatsnvle, but had the taken the time to set up this storyline in previous films it would’ve been much better, this movie lacked the right to have all these characters on screen together. The characters had adequate screen time each, but contrary to its biggest rival ‘the avengers’ this really wasn’t that special, most of the characters had the same abilities, barring the flash, and the way the avengers films have shown all the characters working together simultaneously in cinematic mastery, you can see hints of Joss attempting this, but with a bad set up it’s an impossible task.

I conclude, not going into the issue with the CGi because I don’t have that much time.

[teshknowledgenotes]

JAYZ DECODED NOTES

WHY?

Jay-Z is someone I look up to as a rapper and businessman, I wanted to read this book to gain some insight on his thought process. I found it really cool how he made a deal with LVMH, Louis Vuitton Moet Hennesey.

There were some real talents in Marcy. DJs started setting up sound systems in the project courtyards and me and Jaz and other MCs from around the way would battle one another for hours. It wasn't like that first cipher I saw: the crowds were more serious now and the beat was kept by eight-foot-tall speakers with subwoofers that would rattle the windows of the apartments around us. I was good at battling and I practiced it like a sport. I'd spend free time reading the dictionary, building my vocabulary for battles. I could be ruthless, calm as fuck on the outside, but flooded with adrenaline, because the other rapper was coming for me, too. It wasn't a Marquess of Queensberry situation. I saw people get swung on when the rhymes cut too deep. But mostly, as dangerous as it felt it stayed lyrical. I look back now and it still amazes me how intense those moments were, back when there was nothing at stake but your rep, your desire to be the best poet on the block. I wasn't even in high school yet and I'd discovered by voice. But I still needed a story to tell.

Just like beats and flows work together, rapping and hustling for me at least live through each other. Those early raps were beautiful in their way and a whole generation of us felt represented for the first time when we heard them. But there's a reason the culture evolved beyond that playful, partying lyrical style, and even personally knew the cats who were on the records, the content didn't always reflect the lives we were leading. There was a distance between what was becoming rap's signature style the relentlessness the swagger the complex wordplay and the substance of the songs. The culture had to go somewhere else to grow. It had to come home

. No one hired a skywriter and announced crack's arrival. But when it landed in your hood, it was a total takeover. Sudden and complete. Like losing your man to gunshots. Or your father walking out the door for good. It was an irreversible new reality. What had been was gone, and in its place was a new way of life that was suddenly everywhere and seemed like it had been there forever. Cocaine wasn't new and neither was selling it. There had always been older dudes who grew their pinkie fingernails out to sniff coke. There were always down-low dealers who partied with their customers as they supplied them. Melle Mel had a song called "White Lines (Don't Do It)" and of course Kurtis Blow called himself "Blow". but for the most part doing coke was something that happened at private parties, something you might've of heard about but had never really seen. Crackheads were different. They'd smoke in hallways, on playgrounds, on subway station staircases. They got no respect. They were former neighbors, "aunts" and "uncles" but once they start smoking, they were simply crackheads, the lowest on the food chain in the jungle, worse than prostitutes and almost as bad as snitches.

Most of these fiends were my parents' age or a little younger. They had no secrets. Skeletal and ashy, they were as jittery as rookie beat cops and their eyes were always spinning with schemes to get money for the next hit. Kids my age were serving them. And these new little kamikazes, who simply called themselves hustlers (like generations before us did), were everywhere stacking their ones. Fuck waiting for the city to pass out summer jobs. I wasn't even a teenager yet and suddenly everyone I knew had pocket money. And better. When Biggie rhymed about how things done changed he could've meant from one summer to the next. It wasn't a generational shift but a generational split. Look at our parents, they even fukn scared of us. With that line, Big captured the whole transformation in a few words, Authority was turned upside down. Guys my age fed up with watching their moms struggle on a single income, were paying utility bills with money from hustling. So how could those same mothers sit them down about a truant report? Outside in Marcy's courtyard and across the country, teenagers wore automatic weapons like they were sneakers. Broad-daylight shootouts had our grandmothers afraid to leave the house, and had neighbors who'd known us since we were toddlers forming Nieghborhood Watches against us. There was a seperation of style, too. Hip-hop was already moving fashion out of the disco clubs and popularizing rugged streetwear, but we'd take it even futher: baggy jeans and puffy coats to stash work and weapons, construction boots to survive cold winter nights working on the streets. As an MC I still loved rhyming for the sake of rhyming purely for the aesthetics of the rhyme itself -- the challenge of moving around couplets and triplets, stacking double entendres, speed rapping. If it hadn't been for hustling I could've been working on being the best MC, technically to ever touch a mic. Btu when I git the streets for real, it altered my ambition. I finally had a story to tell. And I felt obligated, above all, to be honest about that experience. That ambition defined my work from my first album on. Hip-hop had described poverty in the ghetto and painted pictures of violence and thug life, but I was interested in something a little different: the interior space of a young kid's head, his psychology. Thirteen year old kids don't wake up one day and say "Okay I just wanna sell drugs on my mother's stoop, hustle on my block till I'm so hot people want to come look for me and start shooing out my mom's living room windows" Trust me no one wants to wake up in the morning and wants to do that. To tell the story of the kid with the gun without telling the story of why he has it is to tell a kind of lie. To tell the story of the pain without telling the story of the rewards the money, the girls, the excitement is a different kind of evasion. To talk about killing people dead without talking about waking up in the middle of the night from a dream about the friend you watched die, or not getting to sleep in the first place because you're so paranoid from the work you're doing, is a lie so deep it's criminal. I wanted to tell stories and boast, to entertain and to dazzle with creative rhymes, but everything I said had to be rotted in the truth of that experience. I owed it to all the hustlers I met or grew up with who didn't have a voice to tell their own stories and to myself.

This is why the hustler's story through hip-hop has connected with a global audience. The deeper we get into those sidewalk cracks and into the mind of the young hustler trying to find his foturne there, the closer we get to the ultimate human story the story of struggle with is what defines us all. One of Big's genius lines wasn't even a rhyme it was in the ad lib to "Juicy" his first big hit:

  Yeah, this album is dedicated to all the teachers that told me I'd never amount to nothin, to all the people that lived above the buildings that I was hustlin in front of that called the police on me when I was just tryin to make some money to feed my daughters and all the niggas in the struggle

I loved that he describe what a lot of hustlers were going through in the streets dissed and feared by teachers and parents and neighbors and cops, broke, working a corner to try to get some bread for basic shit as more than some glamorous alternative to having a real job. Our struggle wasn't organized or even coherent. There were no leaders of this "movement". There wasn't even a list of demands. Our struggle was truly a something out of nothing do or die situation. The fucked up thing was that it led some of us to sell drugs on our own blocks and get caught up in the material spoils of that life. It was definitely different, less easily defined, less pure and harer to celebrate that a simple call for revolution. But in their way, Biggie's words made an even more desperate case for some kind of change. Che was coming from the perspective "We deserve these rights, we are ready to lead" We were coming from the perspective, "We need some kind of opportunity, we are ready to die" The connections between the two kinds of struggles weren't necessarily clear to me yet, but they were on my mind. Being misunderstood is almost a badge of honor in rap. Growing up as a black kid from the projects, you can spend your whole life being misunderstood, followed around department stores, looked at funny, accused of crimes you didn't commit, accused of motivations you don't have, dehumanized until you realized one day it's not aobut you. It's about perceptions people had long before you even walked onto the scene. The joke's on them because th're really just fighting phantoms of their own creation.

  From the first time I rapped the line you like Dom, maybe this Cristal will change your life on my first album, hip hop has raised the profile of Cristal. No one denies that. But we were unpaid endorsers of the brand which we thought was okay, because it was a two-way street. We used their brand as a signifier of luxury and they got free advertising and credibility every time we mentioned it. But they didn't see it that way.

A journalist at The Economict asked Frederic Rouzaud the managing director of the company that makes Cristal: "Do you think your brand i hurt by its association with the "bling lifestyle?" This was Rouzaud's reply: "That's a good question but what can we do? We can't forbid people from buying it" He also said that he looked on the association between Cristal and hip-hop with "curiosity and serenity" The economist printed the quote under the heading Unwelcome Attention.

That was like a slap in the face. You can argue all you want about Rouzaud's statements and trry to justify them or whatever, but the tone is clear. When asked about an influential segment of his market, his response was essentially well we can't stop them from drinking it. That was it for me. I released a statement saying that I would never drink Cristal or promote it in any way or serve it at my clubs ever again. I felt like this was the bullshit I'd been dealing with forever, this kind of offhanded, patronizing disrespect for the culture of hip-hop.

When people all over started drinking Cristal at clubs when Cristal became a household name among young consumers it wasn't because of anything Cristal had done. It was because of what we'd done. If Cristal had understood this dynamic they never would've been so dismissive. The truth is we didn't need them to tolerate us with "curiosity and serenity". In fact we didn't need them at all.

There's a knee-jerk fear in America that someone especially someone young and black is coming to take your shit fuck up your brand destroy the quality of your life, tarnish the things you love. But in hip hop despite all the brand shout-outs the truth is, we don't want your shit. We came out of the generation of black people who fainlly got the point: No one's going to help us. So we went for self, for family, for block, for crew which sounds selfish, it's one of the criticisms hustlers and rappers both get, that we're hypercapitalists, concerned only with the bottom line and enriching ourselves. But it's just a rational response to the reality we faced. No one was going to help us. Not even our fathers stuck around. People who looked just like us were gunning for us. Weakness and dependence made you a mark, like a dope fiend. Success would only mean self-sufficiency, being a boss not a dependent. The competition wasn't about greed or not just about greed. It was about survival.

Back in the eighties and early nineties cities in this country were literally backgrounds. Kids were as well armed as paramilitary outfit in a small country. Teenagers had Uzis, German Glocks, and assault rifles and we had the accessories too like scopes and silencers. Guns were easier to get in the hood than public assistance. There were times when the voilence just seemed like background music like we'd all gone numb.

The deeper causes of the crack explision were in policies concoted by a government that was hostile to us, almost genocidally hostile when you think about how they aided or tolerated the unleashing of guns and drugs on poor communities, while at the same time cutting back on schools, housing, and assistance programs. And to top it all off they threw in the so called war on drugs, which was really a war on us. There were racist new laws put on the books, like the drug laws that penalized the possesion of crack cocaine with more severe sentences than the possession of powder. Three strike laws could put young guys in jail for twenty five years for non-violent crimes. The diseas of addiction was treated as a crime. The rate of incarceration went through the roof. Police abuses and corruption were rampant. Across the country, cops were invovled in the drug trade playing both sides. Young black men in New York in the eighties and nineties were gunned down by cops for the lightest suspected offenses, or died in custody under suspicious circumstances. And meanwhile we were killing ourselves by the thousands.

Almost twenty years after the fact, there are studies that say between 1989 and 1994 more black men were murdered in the streets of America than died in the entire Vietnam War. America did not want to talk about the human damage or the deeper causes of the carnage. But then here came rap, like the American nightmare come to life. The disturbing shit you thought you locked away for good, buried at the bottom of the ocean, suddenly materialized in your kid's bedroom, laughing it off, cursing loud, and grabbing its nuts, refusing to be ignored anymore. I'm America's worst nightmare, I'm young black and holding my nuts like shh-yeah. Hardcore rap wasn't political in an explicit way, bt its volume and urgency kept a story alive that a lot of people would have preferred to disappear. Our story. It scared a lot of people.

When the politicians can't censor you and the industry can't marginalize you call the cops. The statistics on the incarceration of black men, particulary of men of my generation are probably the most objective indication that young black men are seen in this country as a "problem" that can be made to literally disappear. No one in the entire world not in Russia or China or Iran is locked up like black men are locked up in this country.

  I had to deal with the cops when I was hustling and that made sense. I had to ddeal with the cops before that too, because even before I started running the streets, I was on their radar just because of who I was. But when I was done with the streets and done with my one major brush with law enforcement after I left the streets, I still wasn't done with five-oh.

I got followed by hip hop cops for seven years but I sill have to ask myself why. Rappers as a class are not engaged in anything criminal. They're musicians. Some rappers and friends of rappers commit crimes. Some bus drivers commit crimes. Some accountants commit crimes. But there aren't task forces devoted to bus drivers or accountants. Bus drivers don't have to work under the preemptive suspicion of law enforcement. The difference is obvious, of course: Rappers are young black men telling stories that the police, among others don't want to hear. Rappers tend to come from places where police are accustomed to treating everybody like a suspect. The general style of rappers is offensive to a lot of people. But being offensive is not a crime, at least not one that's on the books. The fact that law enforcement treats rap like organized crime tells you a lot about just how deeply rap offends some people they'd love for rap itself to be a crime, but until they get that law passed, they come after us however they can. I was never on that nationalistist tip as an MC, but MCs I looked up to, like Rakim, Kane, and Cube, whatever their politics were unambiguously black, with no concession to any other standard of appearance. They didn't hate themselves. They knew how to be strong and stylish but stay black in a way that wasn't self-conscious or contrived. Just by being true to who they were, they obliterated the ideal of the light skinned singer with the S-curl which for a lot of kids of my generation took the edge off the kind of color consciousness that's always lurking for black people in America. Even when hip-hop aired some of the ongoing colorism among black people like Biggie rapping that he was black and ugly as ever the point is that we were airing it out, not weeping it under the rug and letting it drive us crazy trying to pretend it idn't exist. Just one more way that hip-hop kept us sane.

For my pops it was just as important to take in places as people. He wanted me to know my own neighborhood inside out. When we'd go to visit my aunt and uncle and counsins my father would give me the responsibility of leading, even though I was the youngest. When I was walking with him, he always walked real fast (he said that way if someone's following you, they'll lose you) and he expected me to not only keep up with him but to remember the details of the things I was passing. I had to know which bodega sold luandry detergent and who only stocked candy and chips, which bodega was owned by Puerto Ricans and which one was run by Arabs, who taped pictuers of themselves holding Aks to the Plexiglas where they kept the loose candy.

He was teaching me to be confident and aware of my surroundings. There's no better survival skill you could teach a boy in the ghetto and he did it demonstratively, not by sitting me down and saying "Yo always look around at where you are", but by showing me. Without necessarily meaning to, he taught me how to be an artist.

You could name practically any problem in the hood and there'd be a rap song for you. The hip hop generation never gets credit for it, but those songs changed things in the hood. They were political comentary but they weren't based on theory or books. They were based on reality on close observation of the world we grew up in. The songs weren't moralistic but they created a stigma around certain kinds of behaviours just by describing them truthfully and with clarity. One of the thing we corrected was the absent-father karma our fathers' generation's created. We made it some real bitch shit to bounce on your kids. Big mixing rage with double entendre (pop duke left ma uke, the faggot took the back way), we as a generation made it shameful to not be there for your kids. The burden of poverty isn't just that you don't always have the things you need, it's the feeling of being embarrassed every day of your life, and you'd do anything to lift that burden. As kids we didn't complain about being poor, we talked about how rich we were going to be and made moves to get the lifestyle we aspired to by any means we could. And as soon as we had a little money we were eager to show it.

I watched the coverage of Hurricane Katrina but it was painful. Helicopters swooping over rooftops with people begging to be rescued the helicopters would leave with a dramatic photo, but didn't bother to pick up the person on the roof. George Bush doing his flyby and declaring that the head of FEMA was doing a heckuva job. The news media would show a man running down the street, arms piled high with diapers or bottles of water, and call him a looter with no context for why he was doing what he was doing. I'm sure there were a few idiots stealing plasma Tvs, but even that has a context anger, trauma. It wasn't like they were stealing TVs so they could go home and watch the game. I mean, where were they going to plug them shits in? As the days dragged on and images got worse and worse old ladies in wheelchairs dying in fron of the Superdome I kept thinking to myself. This can't be happening in a wealthy country. Why isn't anyone doing anything?

To some degree charity is a racket in a capitalist system, a way of making our obligations to one another optional, and of keeping poor people feeling a sense of indebtedness to the rich, even if the rich spend every other day exploiting those same people. The highest level of giving is giving in a way that makes the receive self-sufficient.

Of course I do sometimes like to see where the money I give goes. When I went to Angola for the water project I was working on and got to see the new water pump and how it changed the lives of the people in that village, I wasn't happy because I felt like I'd done something so great. I was happy ot know that whatever money I'd given was actually being put to work and not just paying a seven figure salary for the head of the Red Cross.

[wineanddinosaur]

Next Round: Paul Feig on Why He’s Not Just Another Hollywood Celebrity Making Gin

Airing between regular episodes of the VinePair Podcast, “Next Round” explores the ideas and innovations that are helping drinks businesses adapt in a time of unprecedented change. As the coronavirus crisis continues and new challenges arise, VP Pro is in your corner, supporting the drinks community for all the rounds to come. If you have a story or perspective to share, email us at podcast@vinepair.com.

In this episode of “Next Round,” VinePair CEO and founder Adam Teeter talks to Hollywood director Paul Feig about his new venture: Artingstall’s Brilliant London Dry Gin. Designing a gin had long been a dream for Feig, who grew up associating the spirit with the most glamorous parts of adult life, vowing, “God as my witness, I will be an adult.” He’s perfected his Martini recipe and shares it here, as well as plenty of sage advice on the dos and don’ts of vermouth.

Feig gained fame for directing such hits as “Freaks and Geeks,” “The Office,” and “Bridesmaids.” Here, he describes another new project he was working on right up until the moment quarantine went into effect, and how he’s stayed busy in lockdown.

While Covid-19 has complicated the release of Artingstall’s Brilliant London Dry Gin, lockdown gave him time to curate a popular Instagram show on which he made his way through 110 different cocktail recipes and raised money for important causes. He describes his hopes for the brand going forward, what it was like to partner with Minhas Distillery, and every step that went into designing the gin he truly loves.

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Or Check Out Our Conversation Here

Adam: From Brooklyn, New York, I’m Adam Teeter. And this is a VinePair “Next Round” conversation. We’re bringing you these conversations between our regular podcast episodes to give everyone a clear picture of what’s going on in the industry since Covid-19. Today talking with Paul Feig, director of “Bridesmaids,” “The Heat,” “Spy,” the new “Ghostbusters,” creator of one of my favorite shows, “Freaks and Geeks,” and now the creator of Artingstall’s Gin. Paul, thank you so much for joining me.

Paul: Adam, thank you so much.

A: So where do I find you today?

P: Today you find me in beautiful downtown Burbank, Calif. in my house. I’ve been here for eight months, and I’m desperate to resume normal life. But I can’t complain. I just miss New York, because I have a place there, and right before the pandemic, I was actually shooting in North Carolina. And so I was coming into Manhattan on the weekends to my place. And one of the last weekends I was like, “Oh, I’m going to leave all this stuff here, because I’m going to come back next week and pick it up.” And so lots of stuff is stranded in New York right now.

A: So, did you complete shooting in North Carolina, or is that on hiatus now because of everything that’s happened?

P: Actually we were prepping for this new TV series and shot for one day. And it was halfway through that first day — we were sort of the last show that hadn’t closed down because we were kind of in the middle of nowhere. So it felt like, okay, we can keep going. But halfway through that day, we were in one scene where we were in this little room and I remember just saying “forget it.” We got to get out of here. So, we shot for one day, but we shot so much stuff we were able to put together a 16-minute presentation and ended up selling the show.

A: Oh, that’s amazing.

P: Yes. We just got picked up. So I’m actually heading back to North Carolina a week from today.

A: This is off the topic of gin, but now just out of curiosity, what is the show and who picked it up?

P: It was picked up by the Fox network. It’s called “This Country,” and it’s a remake of a British TV show of the same name that’s very much in the style of “The Office,” but about two cousins who live in this very small town. It’s very, very funny and a slice of life, and super fun.

A: That sounds awesome. So obviously your day job is directing, writing, et cetera, in TV and film, but then on the side, you decided to create a gin. So I’m curious, what was the reason for wanting to create a gin? I mean, you have a funny quote on your site for the gin that says, you’ve never had a gin you didn’t like, but found one you love when you made your own. But you know, it’s funny, ‘cause making alcohol is not easy. So I’m curious, what was the inspiration for it?

P: Well, this has been decades in the making. I’ve always been an absolute devotee of cocktail culture and just the cocktail lifestyle, really. And early on, realized that the Martini was the gold standard of cocktails. Just everything about it. I mean the taste of it, but also it’s the perfect glass and everything. It’s just aesthetically pleasing. And to me, it represented adult life. Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be an adult. And so, but I had a bad experience with gin as a kid weirdly, as I think a lot of us would sneak down to your, or somebody’s parents’ basement bar, and of course you get into the bottles and the first one you opened is gin, for some reason.

A: Yeah, totally. Yeah.

P: And you just get this blast of that Pine-Sol scent and taste. And you’re like, “Oh, this is terrible.” So I think a lot of people, including myself, go, “Oh, I don’t like gin,” but when I wanted to get into Martinis and all that, I realized after my reading that a real Martini is gin. And so this was 25, almost 30 years ago that I was like, “I gotta just learn to love gin.” And I was in London at the Savoy Hotel and went up to the bar and the guy made me a Martini that was so perfect. And that was the moment I was like, “Oh, I do like gin” because it’s presented correctly, it’s ice cold, it’s got a beautiful twist in it. And so it just started this lifelong love affair with gin. But there’s always things about it that I carried along from those old days of going like, “ugh, it’s still that really piney thing.” And back then, that’s really all you could find, were the Beefeaters and all. But over the years traveling with my wife all over the world, making my movies and just going on trips, anywhere I’d go, I’d try different gins and started to discover, “Oh, there’s a million different variations,” some that don’t have that super-juniper-forward thing that I didn’t like, some that are more botanic, that are more almost like savory, you know? So I just started like, 15 years ago, going, “I can make my own gin.” I know I can make one that I think people would really like, that would bring everything together. Take out the things that a lot of people are put off by, but keep the things that people who like it do like, and so I just made this vow. And literally about 10 years ago, just started talking to my agents and stuff and saying — because there’s departments in my agency that help with this stuff — “Can you get me a gin? Can I get my own brand of gin?” And they’re like, “That’s impossible. You’re doing well in the industry, but you’re not George Clooney. You’re not a famous actor, a famous musician or something like that.” So I just said, “just stay on it.” I had also requested, I wanted to do my own clothing line, too, which they also said was impossible, but then they actually got me hooked up with J. Crew and I did a little line of stuff for them for charity that expanded into a big, two suits and all kinds of accessories and stuff. So once that cracked, I was like, well c’mon, you guys can pull off the gin. And so they found this company called Minhas which is out of Calgary in Canada, but they have a distillery in Wisconsin in Monroe, Wisc. And they had been approached a lot by people in showbiz who wanted to have a brand and they just had no interest in it, but they saw that I was really serious. They liked the lifestyle that I represent and how in the press I’m always in a suit and tie. And so they’d been looking to do a premium spirit because they’re a big brewer of beer. They’re like the seventh biggest brewer of beer in North America. They made their name making lower-priced beer that was really good. And then they went into well drinks with their spirits. They do the rum for Trader Joe’s and that kind of thing, but they wanted to have a premium. And so that’s what we did. And this was almost three years ago and we’ve been just working on it ever since. And, it’s been the most rewarding collaboration of my career because it’s just something I’m so passionate about.

A: Right. Well, so obviously you said it came from wanting to be an adult. But do you know where that came from as a kid? Was it just that you were looking up to — and I would assume this goes into also your desire to wear suits and things like that — were there people you were looking up to, or others that you were trying to emulate in either the entertainment industry or things like that? You know like, “Oh, they always wear a suit. They drink gin. That should be something that I do as well.” And then just sort of became your personality?

P: Yeah. There was a key moment in my life and it happened very, very early. I think I was five or six. This sounds very weird. And my parents took me to Las Vegas, because they were going to see a Mohammad Ali fight. And this was at The Sands or The Dunes. I forget, one of those. This is back of the glory days of Vegas, when it was very glamorous. And. I remember they were going to go to the fight. So they’re taking me. That was the time when you couldn’t, even as a kid walk through a casino, you had to be like up on the edge. So we’re walking around the outer edge of this casino, and I’m looking down at these lights and these people, and everybody’s dressed in like suits and gowns and tuxedos, and they’re drinking cocktails and they’re smoking, and I’m just transfixed by this. And then in the cruelest possible way for this casino, they had the nursery right on the edge of the casino. So I remember being taken in there and there’s a big sliding glass door. Then they close me in there with a bunch of other kids. And all I do is spend the entire time at the window, staring out at this adult wonderland in front of me and going, “God as my witness. I will be an adult.” I had no interest in the other kids. I had no interest in the stuff they were doing and I just wanted to be an adult. And that never left me. It’s the craziest thing. Like I just have been obsessed with “grownup culture” ever since. And then also with my mom, I was an only child. I used to watch old movies with my mom all the time, and watching those movies in the ’30s and ’40s. “The Thin Man” movies and Cary Grant, everybody drinking cocktails, those movies of the ’30s, which have really gotten my wife and I through quarantine, because we just went on a binge of just watching everything from those old William Powell movies and stuff. Because between world wars and coming out of the Depression and everything, everybody just cut loose with this almost wish fulfillment of these supper clubs and everybody’s in gowns and tuxedos and drinking Champagne and cocktails every place they sit in their house. And that stuff just really affected me to the point where I was like, well, why can’t life kind of be like that? Why can’t we move it that way? You know? And especially in the world now where, I just turned 58. And my generation of guys have really been sort of a lost cause because we were coming out of the ’50s and the ’60s where the patriarchy was all about dads and this suit and tie represents something bad. And so all the guys my age were like, “Oh, we’re not going to do that. We’re going to dress like kids and we’re going to wear shorts and do whatever we want.” And, so that just polluted adult culture for guys my age. And so it was like, why can’t we bring back that time, without the weird politics of it? But at the same time, just that not being afraid of glamor and not feeling like, “Oh, I’m pretentious if I put on a suit” or, “Oh, I’m so uncomfortable.” That kind of thing, let’s just bring that “adult time” back. So you work hard and you play hard.

A: That, that makes a lot of sense to me. So, I’m someone who got into cocktails, wines, in the same way, because it felt like a very adult thing. It was one of the only things we’re restricted from doing until a certain age. And also it’s funny, our employees always joke, “Why don’t we wear suits more?” Or “Why don’t we do some of these things more?” Just because it is something that goes hand in hand with that connection to cocktail culture. So what you’re saying makes a lot of sense. I’m curious, so obviously, you were able to make this connection and make this gin happen. What went into the formulation? How long did that take and what was that process like for you?

P: It was great. It was so much fun. It’s nerve-wracking because — I’ve written a few books also, and there’s this thing where, you’re putting it together and getting what you want, but then when it comes down to like, okay, now I’m going to send this off, and it’s finished. Like, “I’m stuck with this.” You know, same with my movies, but really anything like that where you’re like, “Oh my God, now I’m going to live with this recipe for the rest of my life.” And so it was the same way in the formulation of this, it took us about a year to get the recipe right. But it started with me sitting down with them and just describing what I wanted out of the gin, and talking about referencing like, “Oh, I like this brand, but here’s what I don’t like about it. I like this brand. Here’s what I don’t like about that, but I want to bring this in, which I haven’t had before,” and it was a total just “talking-it-out”-type thing. And with a couple of tastings of other brands to point out and illustrate. And then they went away from that and came up with eight variations. That were not that close together, just to really get a sense. And so going through that, “I like this, but I don’t like this part of it,” “This, no,” and from that, that’s just kinda how it went. And so they would take those notes and then they’d bring back eight much more micro variations. So we did that several times and really worked our way towards the final recipe. But what I was so fascinated by is how the alcoholic content changes everything. I did not expect that. I thought it was going to be all botanicals, and obviously it is, but when we got down to one of the last rounds, there was one that I was like, “Wow, this is so close, but something’s off,” and I said, “Maybe it’s too much of this botanical. Maybe it’s too much of that.” And Ravinder Minhas, who was one of the co-owners of the company, goes, “I think we’re off just a hair with the alcohol content.” I was like, “No, it’s not that it’s a taste.” He goes like, “Okay, okay. But I’m telling you, I’m going to do one of this lower and you can do it in the next tasting.” And he was completely right, because the one that I was having an issue with was at 44 percent, and it was too alcohol-forward. But then he also did one at 40 percent and I tried that and it was too botanical-forward. But then when you did the 42 percent, it was completely perfect.

A: That’s amazing.

P: Yeah, and it was crazy. I never expected that that was going to be such a heavy factor in conjunction with the botanicals.

A: Yeah, it shows you how much goes with dialing it all in, right? So you can have what you want, but then everything plays on itself, which I think is really interesting.

P: It’s exactly like when we do sound mixes, where it’s like if one element is just a little too loud it throws everything off. Just having a master mixer who goes, “Oh, if we just pull this back a hair and push this up a hair.” That’s exactly what it was. And you know, there’s no other gin I drink now.

A: That’s amazing.

P: I love my gin.

A: So, what has it been like for you to now be involved in launching this product? And especially, obviously, the large issue we’ve already spoken about is Covid, right? A lot of people launch new brands, especially brands that are connected to people who are known like yourself, through on-premise because you can get in when other smaller craft brands might not be able to. But there is no real on-premise right now. So what have you done to try to launch the brand? What are the plans moving forward for the brand?

P: I mean, it was hard, because we were literally setting to go into a lot of places right when everything shut down. But we’re very close to getting a major distributor, which will probably happen next month. I don’t want to tell you what it is, because we don’t have it yet. But I’ve just been doing tons of outreach, really calling owners of various liquor stores we wanted to get into, and just talking to them. But also I had this Instagram show that I did throughout the first hundred days of the quarantine, just a nightly show to raise money for Covid charities and for Black Lives Matter charities a couple months in. And I got to talk about the gin and I collect cocktail books and I like making cocktails, but I only have like a few that I really make. I am a master Martini maker, I would say, but I’ve always wanted to make other ones and never had the time, really, and it’s such a specialized thing. But then I used this to teach myself on camera how to do cocktails. And so I made well, 110 different cocktails. I invented 10 different original recipes and so it was really fun. So that was a way to sort of — I didn’t want to make the show about promoting my gin, because it was such a dicey time — but the gin was there and I would mention it and all that. And then now I’ve just been getting back into starting to push it out there. But it’s such a slow windup that you just have to be patient with it. And again, I’m not George Clooney. I’m not Aaron Paul. Most people don’t even know what a director does. When I was directing “The Office,” I remember I was at some party and some woman goes, “Oh, you direct ‘The Office.'” And she goes, “Oh, have you ever met Steve Carell?” It’s like, yeah, I’ve met Steve Carrell. I do direct him. So, you know, I definitely have a leg up on most people who are trying to start out a brand, but at the same time, it’s still a daily struggle to get it out there, but we’re coming up with a lot of fun stuff, and once we get this big distributor, we can really go whole hog, if you will.

A: I’m going to come back ‘cause I need to know your Martini recipe.

P: Yes.

A: But before I ask that, I’d be remiss if I didn’t bring up one of the more famous gins recently, owned by a celebrity, was really well-known for the commercials they created. They did some really funny stuff. But again, that celebrity, who we won’t mention, is not a director, right? So, you are. I have to assume you have thought about what those might look like or things that you can do on Facebook, Instagram, et cetera, that really help promote the gin in sort of the same ways that they did, but probably different, just given your background and then also your background in comedy directing. Have there been thoughts so far?

P: Well, yeah the thing is, we’re not at the point where anybody’s willing to put the money into doing a big thing, but yeah, I think about it all the time. Because a celebrity who will not be mentioned, is extremely clever and really funny. And I know him actually very well because I’ve worked with him and his wife, and I don’t want to get into his territory, because, yeah, it’s going to look like that’s what I’m trying to do. And that’s not really what I want my brand to represent. I want my brand to represent that it’s fun to be an adult, but also it I’m trying to hit this like “It’s okay to try to be classy.” You know what I mean? If you have a fun attitude towards it, it’s not like, “Oh, be a stuffy guy in a tuxedo.” But again, adult life is fun, but give it the respect that it deserves and embrace the coolness of it and the beauty of it. Going into a beautiful bar in Manhattan, where the bottles are all uplit and it’s beautiful wood, and everybody’s dressed up and you’re having Martinis out of gorgeous glassware. That’s the aspirational thing I want to try to bring to this, but with an irreverence to it, too. So it’s a needle to thread, but we’re definitely working on it.

A: So what is your Martini recipe?

P: Well, I have two. The best is the Duke’s Martini which is, you freeze everything. So you can take your bottle and your glass and you freeze it for a long time and then you take them out. And there’s only a 4-ounce — not a 10-ounce, please — Martini. We’ll talk about the 10-ounce and my hatred of that soon. So you basically got your frozen glass. You put in a little bit of vermouth, you swirl it to just coat the edges and then you dump out the rest of the vermouth. Then you take the frozen gin and just straight into the glass to the top. And then you get a good lemon, with a good thick rind — At Duke’s they bring them in from the Amalfi Coast — you need to cut a very big, wide twist, then you squeeze it over the top, get all the oil out, kiss the edges, and plop it in. And it’s the perfect Martini, but it is a strong Martini because it is completely undiluted.

A: It’s 4 ounces of gin.

P: Yeah. Four straight ounces of gin, with a kiss of a vermouth. And then my other one, basically I do it in a mixing glass with ice. Same thing. Just a micro drop of a vermouth. I’m not a fan of “no vermouth” or, “just look at the bottle” because you do need something. It’s like getting a drop of water into a single-malt whiskey. You just need to open it up a little bit, but then stir it long enough to get it ice cold, but not to dilute it too much, pour it in. And the same thing with the twist and, oh, baby, it’s good.

A: So you would do that. So you would not be a fan, then, of the people who’ve done either the 50-50. Which is becoming all the rage in Brooklyn, or serving the Martini on the rocks, I would assume, is also something you’re not a fan of.

P: Yeah. I don’t like all that delusion. And, I mean the 50-50 is really like where the Martini started back in the day. But yeah, I like vermouth. I just, for some reason, don’t like it competing. I don’t know. It’s weird. If I do like a drink that has a lot of vermouth and a lot of gin in it, I have no problem with it if it’s not a Martini, but for some reason, if it’s in a Martini glass and it’s that much vermouth, then I find it slightly off-putting. But also, I’ve been traumatized over my life by bad Martinis. In so many places where they don’t know how to make a Martini, and they overload the vermouth, and then they don’t make it cold enough. So you get this tepid swill of too much vermouth, and — well first of all, isn’t it amazing how many people don’t know you’re supposed to keep vermouth in the refrigerator?

A: Oh, it’s incredible. It’s incredible. Even at bars.

P: Yeah. I mean, how many times have you gone to somebody’s house, been in a bar, and you go like, “Do you have vermouth?” “Oh yeah. It’s over there” in this dirty bottle. It’s clearly been open for years. And it’s like, “Oh my God.” So, yeah. You gotta get it right. So yeah, if you’ve got vermouth, all bets are off.

A: It is pretty funny. Yeah. There’s the misconception that you can put it on your bar, which obviously not. And then also that people don’t realize that it’s wine and goes bad, and so, yeah, there’ve been lots of places where I’ve been in bars or houses where it’s just turned and it ruins the drink.

P: Oh my God. And that’s when they put too much in, on top of it.

A: Exactly, exactly. So that’s really interesting. So, if you were to think about your ideal places for this gin in the next year or so, are there bars that you love both just because, now mentioning that you come to New York often, you have a place here? LA, are there bars that you’d be like, man, I would really love if these places had my gin and also were making great Martinis or other cocktails with it?

P: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, we were all set to go into the Polo Bar. ‘Cause that’s one of my regular haunts and they know me there and they’re very kind. And they actually always keep it behind the bar for me. But you know, until we have a distributor, they can’t legally take it in. But definitely the Polo Bar, definitely Bemelmans, which is one of my other favorite bars in the world. One of my favorite restaurants, called Il Tinello, which is a great Italian restaurant. And then the Soho Houses I’d like to get into, or the King Cole bar. I’d like to be in bars everywhere. But to be in those sort of the pinnacle of the class and the cocktail culture places, and then, you know, a lot of the hipster bars down in the Village, which I’m not as familiar with. I mean, Death & Co is in Manhattan, right?

A: East Village.

P: Yeah. Okay. But you know, but those kinds of places, too, ‘cause I’d love to have these new mixologists who are so great really have some fun with it. And I think they would. We put so much time into the design of the bottle and the label that it’s really part of the experience. ‘Cause it looks like a decanter and it’s all cut glass and this beautiful top on it that is like a giant diamond. I really wanted it to be something that every bartender wants behind their bar, that every home bar wants to have on their cart. ‘Cause it’s all about that presentation. Getting the gin right is priority No. 1, but once you’ve got it and you’re like, “Oh, I love this,” The idea of just putting it into a normal bottle is really important to me, because it’s not the presentation, it’s like drinking a Martini out of a red Solo cup. You want the full experience. And so I feel like anybody I show the bottle to, any bartender, they tend to flip out over it, and it up-lights them. It catches the light bulb.

A: Right. So you’ve thought a lot about that. Yeah. I can see this, especially with your love of Martini, doing very well at Dante.

P: Yeah. Oh yeah. That’d be great. Yeah.

A: With their Martini lists and all that stuff, which will be really great.

P: Yeah, and like the Tower Bar in L.A., it would be a dream.

A: So, what do the next six months to a year look like for you? Obviously, you’re going to shoot this new show in North Carolina. What do they look like for you? What are they like for the brand?

P: We’re going to be full steam ahead, really. Now that we almost have this distributor, we’ll be getting out to a lot of places, but we’re already set to go into BevMo and Total Wine. So we’ll be getting out there. So now it’s going to be about just getting the word out because we’re already all over Canada. We’re in all the state-run liquor stores there. Because since Minhas is a Canadian-based company, they’ve got a lot of clout over there. And we’re in a lot of places like Barkeeper in L.A., Remedy Liquors, all that. If you go to artingstallsgin.com you can see all the places to get it, but we’re very close to being everywhere. And so that’s where the real outreach is going to begin. I’m also going to be shooting in North Carolina for a month. And then I take off to London to shoot a movie. So I’m going to be in London a lot. That’s the next goal, to get it into London. Just because it’s such a great gin market. But the weird thing about the 750-milliliter bottles versus the 700-milliliter bottles is right now. We’re busy making the mold for that 700 one because that’s what you have to bring into the U.K. You can’t bring in a 750, so it’s just one of those little things to complicate everything.

A: Yeah, exactly. In times that are also quite complicated.

P: Yes, exactly. But also we’re doing a collaboration with the Rake Magazine to do a bottled Negroni that I formulated. And so that’s going to be coming out in a couple of months.

A: What does your Negroni look like?

P: I mean it’s got some secret things in it, but it’s a very traditional Negroni, with just a little extra something.

A: Interesting… okay.

P: Yeah. Very proud of it. I’m very, very proud of it.

A: I’ll definitely keep an eye out for it then. That sounds awesome. Well, Paul, thank you so much for taking the time. This has been a really, really, really interesting conversation. I love hearing about how you started the brand and where you see the brand going. I think your positioning of it as a brand that really speaks to “fun adulting” in a very classy way speaks to me very strongly. I think it probably speaks to a lot of other people. I think that’s why a lot of us fell in love with cocktails in the first place and how cocktails make us feel when we consume them. So I think it’s really smart.

P: Oh, I love that. Thanks. I really appreciate it. I mean, it’s such a weird time, because there’s so many people in showbiz who are trying to come up with their own liquor brand, and I always just want to just go up to everybody and say, “No, I’ve been trying to do this for decades! Don’t steal my thunder, everybody.” So when you see my name’s attached, don’t go, “Oh God, another showbiz idiot.” No, I’m really, really dedicated to this. I’m as proud of this as I am of some of my movies, and I’ve been more proud of this than of some of the other ones.

A: Awesome. Well, thank you again so much. And again, people can find out where you can buy it at artinstallsgin.com. Well, thank you so much. I really appreciate you taking the time. It’s been awesome.

P: My pleasure, thank you Adam.

Thanks so much for listening to the VinePair Podcast. If you enjoy listening to us every week, please leave us a review or rating on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, or wherever it is that you get your podcasts. It really helps everyone else discover the show. Now, for the credits. VinePair is produced and hosted by Zach Geballe, Erica Duecy and me: Adam Teeter. Our engineer is Nick Patri and Keith Beavers. I’d also like to give a special shout-out to my VinePair co-founder Josh Malin and the rest of the VinePair team for their support. Thanks so much for listening and we’ll see you again right here next week.

Ed. note: This episode has been edited for length and clarity

The article Next Round: Paul Feig on Why He’s Not Just Another Hollywood Celebrity Making Gin appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/paul-feig-artingstalls-gin/

[johnboothus]

Next Round: Paul Feig on Why Hes Not Just Another Hollywood Celebrity Making Gin

Airing between regular episodes of the VinePair Podcast, “Next Round” explores the ideas and innovations that are helping drinks businesses adapt in a time of unprecedented change. As the coronavirus crisis continues and new challenges arise, VP Pro is in your corner, supporting the drinks community for all the rounds to come. If you have a story or perspective to share, email us at podcast@vinepair.com.

In this episode of “Next Round,” VinePair CEO and founder Adam Teeter talks to Hollywood director Paul Feig about his new venture: Artingstall’s Brilliant London Dry Gin. Designing a gin had long been a dream for Feig, who grew up associating the spirit with the most glamorous parts of adult life, vowing, “God as my witness, I will be an adult.” He’s perfected his Martini recipe and shares it here, as well as plenty of sage advice on the dos and don’ts of vermouth.

Feig gained fame for directing such hits as “Freaks and Geeks,” “The Office,” and “Bridesmaids.” Here, he describes another new project he was working on right up until the moment quarantine went into effect, and how he’s stayed busy in lockdown.

While Covid-19 has complicated the release of Artingstall’s Brilliant London Dry Gin, lockdown gave him time to curate a popular Instagram show on which he made his way through 110 different cocktail recipes and raised money for important causes. He describes his hopes for the brand going forward, what it was like to partner with Minhas Distillery, and every step that went into designing the gin he truly loves.

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Adam: From Brooklyn, New York, I’m Adam Teeter. And this is a VinePair “Next Round” conversation. We’re bringing you these conversations between our regular podcast episodes to give everyone a clear picture of what’s going on in the industry since Covid-19. Today talking with Paul Feig, director of “Bridesmaids,” “The Heat,” “Spy,” the new “Ghostbusters,” creator of one of my favorite shows, “Freaks and Geeks,” and now the creator of Artingstall’s Gin. Paul, thank you so much for joining me.

Paul: Adam, thank you so much.

A: So where do I find you today?

P: Today you find me in beautiful downtown Burbank, Calif. in my house. I’ve been here for eight months, and I’m desperate to resume normal life. But I can’t complain. I just miss New York, because I have a place there, and right before the pandemic, I was actually shooting in North Carolina. And so I was coming into Manhattan on the weekends to my place. And one of the last weekends I was like, “Oh, I’m going to leave all this stuff here, because I’m going to come back next week and pick it up.” And so lots of stuff is stranded in New York right now.

A: So, did you complete shooting in North Carolina, or is that on hiatus now because of everything that’s happened?

P: Actually we were prepping for this new TV series and shot for one day. And it was halfway through that first day — we were sort of the last show that hadn’t closed down because we were kind of in the middle of nowhere. So it felt like, okay, we can keep going. But halfway through that day, we were in one scene where we were in this little room and I remember just saying “forget it.” We got to get out of here. So, we shot for one day, but we shot so much stuff we were able to put together a 16-minute presentation and ended up selling the show.

A: Oh, that’s amazing.

P: Yes. We just got picked up. So I’m actually heading back to North Carolina a week from today.

A: This is off the topic of gin, but now just out of curiosity, what is the show and who picked it up?

P: It was picked up by the Fox network. It’s called “This Country,” and it’s a remake of a British TV show of the same name that’s very much in the style of “The Office,” but about two cousins who live in this very small town. It’s very, very funny and a slice of life, and super fun.

A: That sounds awesome. So obviously your day job is directing, writing, et cetera, in TV and film, but then on the side, you decided to create a gin. So I’m curious, what was the reason for wanting to create a gin? I mean, you have a funny quote on your site for the gin that says, you’ve never had a gin you didn’t like, but found one you love when you made your own. But you know, it’s funny, ‘cause making alcohol is not easy. So I’m curious, what was the inspiration for it?

P: Well, this has been decades in the making. I’ve always been an absolute devotee of cocktail culture and just the cocktail lifestyle, really. And early on, realized that the Martini was the gold standard of cocktails. Just everything about it. I mean the taste of it, but also it’s the perfect glass and everything. It’s just aesthetically pleasing. And to me, it represented adult life. Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be an adult. And so, but I had a bad experience with gin as a kid weirdly, as I think a lot of us would sneak down to your, or somebody’s parents’ basement bar, and of course you get into the bottles and the first one you opened is gin, for some reason.

A: Yeah, totally. Yeah.

P: And you just get this blast of that Pine-Sol scent and taste. And you’re like, “Oh, this is terrible.” So I think a lot of people, including myself, go, “Oh, I don’t like gin,” but when I wanted to get into Martinis and all that, I realized after my reading that a real Martini is gin. And so this was 25, almost 30 years ago that I was like, “I gotta just learn to love gin.” And I was in London at the Savoy Hotel and went up to the bar and the guy made me a Martini that was so perfect. And that was the moment I was like, “Oh, I do like gin” because it’s presented correctly, it’s ice cold, it’s got a beautiful twist in it. And so it just started this lifelong love affair with gin. But there’s always things about it that I carried along from those old days of going like, “ugh, it’s still that really piney thing.” And back then, that’s really all you could find, were the Beefeaters and all. But over the years traveling with my wife all over the world, making my movies and just going on trips, anywhere I’d go, I’d try different gins and started to discover, “Oh, there’s a million different variations,” some that don’t have that super-juniper-forward thing that I didn’t like, some that are more botanic, that are more almost like savory, you know? So I just started like, 15 years ago, going, “I can make my own gin.” I know I can make one that I think people would really like, that would bring everything together. Take out the things that a lot of people are put off by, but keep the things that people who like it do like, and so I just made this vow. And literally about 10 years ago, just started talking to my agents and stuff and saying — because there’s departments in my agency that help with this stuff — “Can you get me a gin? Can I get my own brand of gin?” And they’re like, “That’s impossible. You’re doing well in the industry, but you’re not George Clooney. You’re not a famous actor, a famous musician or something like that.” So I just said, “just stay on it.” I had also requested, I wanted to do my own clothing line, too, which they also said was impossible, but then they actually got me hooked up with J. Crew and I did a little line of stuff for them for charity that expanded into a big, two suits and all kinds of accessories and stuff. So once that cracked, I was like, well c’mon, you guys can pull off the gin. And so they found this company called Minhas which is out of Calgary in Canada, but they have a distillery in Wisconsin in Monroe, Wisc. And they had been approached a lot by people in showbiz who wanted to have a brand and they just had no interest in it, but they saw that I was really serious. They liked the lifestyle that I represent and how in the press I’m always in a suit and tie. And so they’d been looking to do a premium spirit because they’re a big brewer of beer. They’re like the seventh biggest brewer of beer in North America. They made their name making lower-priced beer that was really good. And then they went into well drinks with their spirits. They do the rum for Trader Joe’s and that kind of thing, but they wanted to have a premium. And so that’s what we did. And this was almost three years ago and we’ve been just working on it ever since. And, it’s been the most rewarding collaboration of my career because it’s just something I’m so passionate about.

A: Right. Well, so obviously you said it came from wanting to be an adult. But do you know where that came from as a kid? Was it just that you were looking up to — and I would assume this goes into also your desire to wear suits and things like that — were there people you were looking up to, or others that you were trying to emulate in either the entertainment industry or things like that? You know like, “Oh, they always wear a suit. They drink gin. That should be something that I do as well.” And then just sort of became your personality?

P: Yeah. There was a key moment in my life and it happened very, very early. I think I was five or six. This sounds very weird. And my parents took me to Las Vegas, because they were going to see a Mohammad Ali fight. And this was at The Sands or The Dunes. I forget, one of those. This is back of the glory days of Vegas, when it was very glamorous. And. I remember they were going to go to the fight. So they’re taking me. That was the time when you couldn’t, even as a kid walk through a casino, you had to be like up on the edge. So we’re walking around the outer edge of this casino, and I’m looking down at these lights and these people, and everybody’s dressed in like suits and gowns and tuxedos, and they’re drinking cocktails and they’re smoking, and I’m just transfixed by this. And then in the cruelest possible way for this casino, they had the nursery right on the edge of the casino. So I remember being taken in there and there’s a big sliding glass door. Then they close me in there with a bunch of other kids. And all I do is spend the entire time at the window, staring out at this adult wonderland in front of me and going, “God as my witness. I will be an adult.” I had no interest in the other kids. I had no interest in the stuff they were doing and I just wanted to be an adult. And that never left me. It’s the craziest thing. Like I just have been obsessed with “grownup culture” ever since. And then also with my mom, I was an only child. I used to watch old movies with my mom all the time, and watching those movies in the ’30s and ’40s. “The Thin Man” movies and Cary Grant, everybody drinking cocktails, those movies of the ’30s, which have really gotten my wife and I through quarantine, because we just went on a binge of just watching everything from those old William Powell movies and stuff. Because between world wars and coming out of the Depression and everything, everybody just cut loose with this almost wish fulfillment of these supper clubs and everybody’s in gowns and tuxedos and drinking Champagne and cocktails every place they sit in their house. And that stuff just really affected me to the point where I was like, well, why can’t life kind of be like that? Why can’t we move it that way? You know? And especially in the world now where, I just turned 58. And my generation of guys have really been sort of a lost cause because we were coming out of the ’50s and the ’60s where the patriarchy was all about dads and this suit and tie represents something bad. And so all the guys my age were like, “Oh, we’re not going to do that. We’re going to dress like kids and we’re going to wear shorts and do whatever we want.” And, so that just polluted adult culture for guys my age. And so it was like, why can’t we bring back that time, without the weird politics of it? But at the same time, just that not being afraid of glamor and not feeling like, “Oh, I’m pretentious if I put on a suit” or, “Oh, I’m so uncomfortable.” That kind of thing, let’s just bring that “adult time” back. So you work hard and you play hard.

A: That, that makes a lot of sense to me. So, I’m someone who got into cocktails, wines, in the same way, because it felt like a very adult thing. It was one of the only things we’re restricted from doing until a certain age. And also it’s funny, our employees always joke, “Why don’t we wear suits more?” Or “Why don’t we do some of these things more?” Just because it is something that goes hand in hand with that connection to cocktail culture. So what you’re saying makes a lot of sense. I’m curious, so obviously, you were able to make this connection and make this gin happen. What went into the formulation? How long did that take and what was that process like for you?

P: It was great. It was so much fun. It’s nerve-wracking because — I’ve written a few books also, and there’s this thing where, you’re putting it together and getting what you want, but then when it comes down to like, okay, now I’m going to send this off, and it’s finished. Like, “I’m stuck with this.” You know, same with my movies, but really anything like that where you’re like, “Oh my God, now I’m going to live with this recipe for the rest of my life.” And so it was the same way in the formulation of this, it took us about a year to get the recipe right. But it started with me sitting down with them and just describing what I wanted out of the gin, and talking about referencing like, “Oh, I like this brand, but here’s what I don’t like about it. I like this brand. Here’s what I don’t like about that, but I want to bring this in, which I haven’t had before,” and it was a total just “talking-it-out”-type thing. And with a couple of tastings of other brands to point out and illustrate. And then they went away from that and came up with eight variations. That were not that close together, just to really get a sense. And so going through that, “I like this, but I don’t like this part of it,” “This, no,” and from that, that’s just kinda how it went. And so they would take those notes and then they’d bring back eight much more micro variations. So we did that several times and really worked our way towards the final recipe. But what I was so fascinated by is how the alcoholic content changes everything. I did not expect that. I thought it was going to be all botanicals, and obviously it is, but when we got down to one of the last rounds, there was one that I was like, “Wow, this is so close, but something’s off,” and I said, “Maybe it’s too much of this botanical. Maybe it’s too much of that.” And Ravinder Minhas, who was one of the co-owners of the company, goes, “I think we’re off just a hair with the alcohol content.” I was like, “No, it’s not that it’s a taste.” He goes like, “Okay, okay. But I’m telling you, I’m going to do one of this lower and you can do it in the next tasting.” And he was completely right, because the one that I was having an issue with was at 44 percent, and it was too alcohol-forward. But then he also did one at 40 percent and I tried that and it was too botanical-forward. But then when you did the 42 percent, it was completely perfect.

A: That’s amazing.

P: Yeah, and it was crazy. I never expected that that was going to be such a heavy factor in conjunction with the botanicals.

A: Yeah, it shows you how much goes with dialing it all in, right? So you can have what you want, but then everything plays on itself, which I think is really interesting.

P: It’s exactly like when we do sound mixes, where it’s like if one element is just a little too loud it throws everything off. Just having a master mixer who goes, “Oh, if we just pull this back a hair and push this up a hair.” That’s exactly what it was. And you know, there’s no other gin I drink now.

A: That’s amazing.

P: I love my gin.

A: So, what has it been like for you to now be involved in launching this product? And especially, obviously, the large issue we’ve already spoken about is Covid, right? A lot of people launch new brands, especially brands that are connected to people who are known like yourself, through on-premise because you can get in when other smaller craft brands might not be able to. But there is no real on-premise right now. So what have you done to try to launch the brand? What are the plans moving forward for the brand?

P: I mean, it was hard, because we were literally setting to go into a lot of places right when everything shut down. But we’re very close to getting a major distributor, which will probably happen next month. I don’t want to tell you what it is, because we don’t have it yet. But I’ve just been doing tons of outreach, really calling owners of various liquor stores we wanted to get into, and just talking to them. But also I had this Instagram show that I did throughout the first hundred days of the quarantine, just a nightly show to raise money for Covid charities and for Black Lives Matter charities a couple months in. And I got to talk about the gin and I collect cocktail books and I like making cocktails, but I only have like a few that I really make. I am a master Martini maker, I would say, but I’ve always wanted to make other ones and never had the time, really, and it’s such a specialized thing. But then I used this to teach myself on camera how to do cocktails. And so I made well, 110 different cocktails. I invented 10 different original recipes and so it was really fun. So that was a way to sort of — I didn’t want to make the show about promoting my gin, because it was such a dicey time — but the gin was there and I would mention it and all that. And then now I’ve just been getting back into starting to push it out there. But it’s such a slow windup that you just have to be patient with it. And again, I’m not George Clooney. I’m not Aaron Paul. Most people don’t even know what a director does. When I was directing “The Office,” I remember I was at some party and some woman goes, “Oh, you direct ‘The Office.'” And she goes, “Oh, have you ever met Steve Carell?” It’s like, yeah, I’ve met Steve Carrell. I do direct him. So, you know, I definitely have a leg up on most people who are trying to start out a brand, but at the same time, it’s still a daily struggle to get it out there, but we’re coming up with a lot of fun stuff, and once we get this big distributor, we can really go whole hog, if you will.

A: I’m going to come back ‘cause I need to know your Martini recipe.

P: Yes.

A: But before I ask that, I’d be remiss if I didn’t bring up one of the more famous gins recently, owned by a celebrity, was really well-known for the commercials they created. They did some really funny stuff. But again, that celebrity, who we won’t mention, is not a director, right? So, you are. I have to assume you have thought about what those might look like or things that you can do on Facebook, Instagram, et cetera, that really help promote the gin in sort of the same ways that they did, but probably different, just given your background and then also your background in comedy directing. Have there been thoughts so far?

P: Well, yeah the thing is, we’re not at the point where anybody’s willing to put the money into doing a big thing, but yeah, I think about it all the time. Because a celebrity who will not be mentioned, is extremely clever and really funny. And I know him actually very well because I’ve worked with him and his wife, and I don’t want to get into his territory, because, yeah, it’s going to look like that’s what I’m trying to do. And that’s not really what I want my brand to represent. I want my brand to represent that it’s fun to be an adult, but also it I’m trying to hit this like “It’s okay to try to be classy.” You know what I mean? If you have a fun attitude towards it, it’s not like, “Oh, be a stuffy guy in a tuxedo.” But again, adult life is fun, but give it the respect that it deserves and embrace the coolness of it and the beauty of it. Going into a beautiful bar in Manhattan, where the bottles are all uplit and it’s beautiful wood, and everybody’s dressed up and you’re having Martinis out of gorgeous glassware. That’s the aspirational thing I want to try to bring to this, but with an irreverence to it, too. So it’s a needle to thread, but we’re definitely working on it.

A: So what is your Martini recipe?

P: Well, I have two. The best is the Duke’s Martini which is, you freeze everything. So you can take your bottle and your glass and you freeze it for a long time and then you take them out. And there’s only a 4-ounce — not a 10-ounce, please — Martini. We’ll talk about the 10-ounce and my hatred of that soon. So you basically got your frozen glass. You put in a little bit of vermouth, you swirl it to just coat the edges and then you dump out the rest of the vermouth. Then you take the frozen gin and just straight into the glass to the top. And then you get a good lemon, with a good thick rind — At Duke’s they bring them in from the Amalfi Coast — you need to cut a very big, wide twist, then you squeeze it over the top, get all the oil out, kiss the edges, and plop it in. And it’s the perfect Martini, but it is a strong Martini because it is completely undiluted.

A: It’s 4 ounces of gin.

P: Yeah. Four straight ounces of gin, with a kiss of a vermouth. And then my other one, basically I do it in a mixing glass with ice. Same thing. Just a micro drop of a vermouth. I’m not a fan of “no vermouth” or, “just look at the bottle” because you do need something. It’s like getting a drop of water into a single-malt whiskey. You just need to open it up a little bit, but then stir it long enough to get it ice cold, but not to dilute it too much, pour it in. And the same thing with the twist and, oh, baby, it’s good.

A: So you would do that. So you would not be a fan, then, of the people who’ve done either the 50-50. Which is becoming all the rage in Brooklyn, or serving the Martini on the rocks, I would assume, is also something you’re not a fan of.

P: Yeah. I don’t like all that delusion. And, I mean the 50-50 is really like where the Martini started back in the day. But yeah, I like vermouth. I just, for some reason, don’t like it competing. I don’t know. It’s weird. If I do like a drink that has a lot of vermouth and a lot of gin in it, I have no problem with it if it’s not a Martini, but for some reason, if it’s in a Martini glass and it’s that much vermouth, then I find it slightly off-putting. But also, I’ve been traumatized over my life by bad Martinis. In so many places where they don’t know how to make a Martini, and they overload the vermouth, and then they don’t make it cold enough. So you get this tepid swill of too much vermouth, and — well first of all, isn’t it amazing how many people don’t know you’re supposed to keep vermouth in the refrigerator?

A: Oh, it’s incredible. It’s incredible. Even at bars.

P: Yeah. I mean, how many times have you gone to somebody’s house, been in a bar, and you go like, “Do you have vermouth?” “Oh yeah. It’s over there” in this dirty bottle. It’s clearly been open for years. And it’s like, “Oh my God.” So, yeah. You gotta get it right. So yeah, if you’ve got vermouth, all bets are off.

A: It is pretty funny. Yeah. There’s the misconception that you can put it on your bar, which obviously not. And then also that people don’t realize that it’s wine and goes bad, and so, yeah, there’ve been lots of places where I’ve been in bars or houses where it’s just turned and it ruins the drink.

P: Oh my God. And that’s when they put too much in, on top of it.

A: Exactly, exactly. So that’s really interesting. So, if you were to think about your ideal places for this gin in the next year or so, are there bars that you love both just because, now mentioning that you come to New York often, you have a place here? LA, are there bars that you’d be like, man, I would really love if these places had my gin and also were making great Martinis or other cocktails with it?

P: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, we were all set to go into the Polo Bar. ‘Cause that’s one of my regular haunts and they know me there and they’re very kind. And they actually always keep it behind the bar for me. But you know, until we have a distributor, they can’t legally take it in. But definitely the Polo Bar, definitely Bemelmans, which is one of my other favorite bars in the world. One of my favorite restaurants, called Il Tinello, which is a great Italian restaurant. And then the Soho Houses I’d like to get into, or the King Cole bar. I’d like to be in bars everywhere. But to be in those sort of the pinnacle of the class and the cocktail culture places, and then, you know, a lot of the hipster bars down in the Village, which I’m not as familiar with. I mean, Death & Co is in Manhattan, right?

A: East Village.

P: Yeah. Okay. But you know, but those kinds of places, too, ‘cause I’d love to have these new mixologists who are so great really have some fun with it. And I think they would. We put so much time into the design of the bottle and the label that it’s really part of the experience. ‘Cause it looks like a decanter and it’s all cut glass and this beautiful top on it that is like a giant diamond. I really wanted it to be something that every bartender wants behind their bar, that every home bar wants to have on their cart. ‘Cause it’s all about that presentation. Getting the gin right is priority No. 1, but once you’ve got it and you’re like, “Oh, I love this,” The idea of just putting it into a normal bottle is really important to me, because it’s not the presentation, it’s like drinking a Martini out of a red Solo cup. You want the full experience. And so I feel like anybody I show the bottle to, any bartender, they tend to flip out over it, and it up-lights them. It catches the light bulb.

A: Right. So you’ve thought a lot about that. Yeah. I can see this, especially with your love of Martini, doing very well at Dante.

P: Yeah. Oh yeah. That’d be great. Yeah.

A: With their Martini lists and all that stuff, which will be really great.

P: Yeah, and like the Tower Bar in L.A., it would be a dream.

A: So, what do the next six months to a year look like for you? Obviously, you’re going to shoot this new show in North Carolina. What do they look like for you? What are they like for the brand?

P: We’re going to be full steam ahead, really. Now that we almost have this distributor, we’ll be getting out to a lot of places, but we’re already set to go into BevMo and Total Wine. So we’ll be getting out there. So now it’s going to be about just getting the word out because we’re already all over Canada. We’re in all the state-run liquor stores there. Because since Minhas is a Canadian-based company, they’ve got a lot of clout over there. And we’re in a lot of places like Barkeeper in L.A., Remedy Liquors, all that. If you go to artingstallsgin.com you can see all the places to get it, but we’re very close to being everywhere. And so that’s where the real outreach is going to begin. I’m also going to be shooting in North Carolina for a month. And then I take off to London to shoot a movie. So I’m going to be in London a lot. That’s the next goal, to get it into London. Just because it’s such a great gin market. But the weird thing about the 750-milliliter bottles versus the 700-milliliter bottles is right now. We’re busy making the mold for that 700 one because that’s what you have to bring into the U.K. You can’t bring in a 750, so it’s just one of those little things to complicate everything.

A: Yeah, exactly. In times that are also quite complicated.

P: Yes, exactly. But also we’re doing a collaboration with the Rake Magazine to do a bottled Negroni that I formulated. And so that’s going to be coming out in a couple of months.

A: What does your Negroni look like?

P: I mean it’s got some secret things in it, but it’s a very traditional Negroni, with just a little extra something.

A: Interesting… okay.

P: Yeah. Very proud of it. I’m very, very proud of it.

A: I’ll definitely keep an eye out for it then. That sounds awesome. Well, Paul, thank you so much for taking the time. This has been a really, really, really interesting conversation. I love hearing about how you started the brand and where you see the brand going. I think your positioning of it as a brand that really speaks to “fun adulting” in a very classy way speaks to me very strongly. I think it probably speaks to a lot of other people. I think that’s why a lot of us fell in love with cocktails in the first place and how cocktails make us feel when we consume them. So I think it’s really smart.

P: Oh, I love that. Thanks. I really appreciate it. I mean, it’s such a weird time, because there’s so many people in showbiz who are trying to come up with their own liquor brand, and I always just want to just go up to everybody and say, “No, I’ve been trying to do this for decades! Don’t steal my thunder, everybody.” So when you see my name’s attached, don’t go, “Oh God, another showbiz idiot.” No, I’m really, really dedicated to this. I’m as proud of this as I am of some of my movies, and I’ve been more proud of this than of some of the other ones.

A: Awesome. Well, thank you again so much. And again, people can find out where you can buy it at artinstallsgin.com. Well, thank you so much. I really appreciate you taking the time. It’s been awesome.

P: My pleasure, thank you Adam.

Thanks so much for listening to the VinePair Podcast. If you enjoy listening to us every week, please leave us a review or rating on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, or wherever it is that you get your podcasts. It really helps everyone else discover the show. Now, for the credits. VinePair is produced and hosted by Zach Geballe, Erica Duecy and me: Adam Teeter. Our engineer is Nick Patri and Keith Beavers. I’d also like to give a special shout-out to my VinePair co-founder Josh Malin and the rest of the VinePair team for their support. Thanks so much for listening and we’ll see you again right here next week.

Ed. note: This episode has been edited for length and clarity

The article Next Round: Paul Feig on Why He’s Not Just Another Hollywood Celebrity Making Gin appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/paul-feig-artingstalls-gin/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/next-round-paul-feig-on-why-hes-not-just-another-hollywood-celebrity-making-gin

[thebandcampdiaries]

Coyote Grooves is back on the scene with a brand new studio release: California’s Coasting

Coyote Grooves is a solo project based in Atlanta, Georgia. What makes his sound special is the fact that he combines different genres in order to create a one-of-a-kind original sound. From folk to soul, to dream-pop and indie-rock, anything goes here! The artist’s most recent track, “California’s Coasting,” is a great taste of this mix of influences. This is the kind of track that will surprise you for it sonic variety, and it will keep you on the edge of your seat due to its rich, yet minimalistic arrangement.

Clocking in at slightly under the 5 minutes mark, this song feels immediate and easy to relate to, yet also quite punchy and direct. going for a more engaging twist. The combination of strummed acoustic guitars and electric guitar soundscapes give the song a psych-folk vibe, which makes me think of bands such as The Flaming Lips, Bon Iver, as well as classic acts such as The Byrds or The Beach Boys. The verses are held back, going for a more minimalistic approach. However, the hooks are incredibly deep and uplifting. The vocals acquire an anthemic mood, with some beautiful harmonic layering and a thick layer of guitars, percussive sounds, piano, and other details. In addition to the personable and edgy performance value, this release is also quite distinctive because of the sheer quality of the production. I am a big studio geek myself, so I like to focus on this particular aspect of the music I listen to, as production can really define the sonic signature of a song! The prevalent reverberation effect allows all the sounds to blend in together, creating a blurry, yet still defined effect - kind of what you can expect to hear on some of the earlier Phil Spektor production, where the main goal is to create a uniform, ambiance-driven piece of music that features some exciting dynamics. The melodies are really well-arranged, blooming seamlessly around the bare-bones rhythm section. This allows the song to have a pulse, but it still allows the vocals to pop out at the forefront to the mix. Speaking of vocals - a great singing performance is really at the core of greatness in this particular genre. The voice is what tells the story, it is the element that people focus on the most, and that’s how they find the “human” qualities that drive the music. In this case, Coyote Grooves does not fail to impress with a masterful vocal delivery and some poetic, heartfelt lyrics.

This song is a really good add-on to the artist’s already excellent discography, and it showcases his willingness to keep exploring new ideas and grow with his sound and vision. When compared to his previously released tracks, “California’s Coasting” seems to be even more focused on storytelling, as well as creating a production aesthetics that is thicker, richer and has more depth than what you would expect from an acoustic singer songwriter. Having said that, the music still retains a very special sense of intimacy, despite the biggest soundscapes that fuel the arrangement. The song has multiple layers that really add life and character to it. The resulting outcome is something that speaks to the audience, connecting with listeners on a more profound level and creating a lasting impression from the very first notes.

I would definitely recommend listening to this release if you're a fan of artists such as Death Cab For Cutie, Fleet Foxes, Father John Misty, as well as Elliott Smith, Iron & Win, DIIV, or Simian Ghost, only to mention but a few. This track will conquer you with its soothing, ethereal tones and down-to-earth arrangement. If this is an indication of what’s in store for this artist next, we are in for a true treat!

Find out more about Coyote Grooves and listen to California’s Coasting on Spotify, or on any of your favorite music streaming platforms on the web.

https://open.spotify.com/album/20YqfE1VDyf2tC8TvElyDT?si=rUSefqT0S9akiS2WrK8NBw

https://youtu.be/L7quWOdr9A8

coyotegrooves.com

Instagram: @coyotegrooves

We also featured this song on our playlist on Spotify. Check it out via the following link, and discover a selection of amazing independent artist from all over the world:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3vCtmkPDbpE9pj5DfJnycU?si=WD-7VG3eS6Sv_stFrw25_w

Additionally, we had the chance to chat with the artist. Keep reading to learn more!

I love how you manage to render your tracks so personal and organic. Does the melody come first, or do you focus on the beat the most?

Answer: The melody is usually the first thing I come up with just because it’s the easiest thing to mess around with and come up with something on the fly, then as I solidify the idea the groove just comes hand in hand. I often am singing silly songs around the house just as a fun little expression of freedom of self, but then some line will catch me or phrase will entice me enough to say, “ooo, I better record that for later.”

Do you perform live? If so, do you feel more comfortable on a stage or within the walls of the recording studio?

Answer: I have performed live many times with different bands over the years, but I was always the one pushing to get into the studio and record. After a while I just looked around and realized that I have this massive catalog of ideas and songs, and I have just been waiting for the “right” people to come along to create and record together but it just never happened. So I hit the point where I said I don’t need anyone else to do this and I jumped right in to the studio life. As far as comfortability, I love creating in the studio, even if it is in isolation. There is a creative sense of purity that comes with building everything yourself from the ground up. I feel so connected to the music I have been making regardless of its quality and I don’t ever want that to stop. I miss the stage though… it’s more about playing with energy if anything, and with this new music, I know I could really make an impression.

If you could only pick one song to make a “first impression” on a new listener, which song would you pick and why?

Answer: If they had the time, probably “Love is Bad.” It pushes 7 minutes, but I really feel like it shows off a lot of my unique songwriting, diverse instrumentation and lyrical/melodic style. It’s also one of my most streamed songs that I have released on Spotify thus far, so you’ve gotta listen to the masses!

What does it take to be “innovative” in music?

Answer: HAVE FUN. I don’t know how many times I have put in some random sounds, burps, wind blowing, cars running, ect, ect, ect just because it made ME laugh, or go “that’s going to mess with people for sure!” I’ve seen artists fall into the trap of only working to please the masses so many times, not wanting to offend or create something too crazy and out there. Every time the production ends up sounding just like everyone else out there. Innovation requires boldness, uniqueness and uninhibited creativity. The easiest way that I’ve found so pass the barrier of popularity is to relax, open up, and HAVE FUN!

Any upcoming release or tour your way?

Answer: “Deja Vú” which is the next track in the Heading West saga will be released at the end of the month. Our main character having chased the setting sun to his imaginary promise-land and having rejected the place that he had hoped to call home, finds himself for the first time questioning his path in life and recognizing the similarities of starting over with a new perspective of acceptance toward the uncertainty of the path forward.

Anywhere online where curious fans can listen to your music and find out more about you?

Answer: You can stay in the loop by following me on Instagram, subscribing to my Spotify channel, or visiting my website at coyotegrooves.com. Right now I’m focusing on getting the 1st album out but I hope to expand my media into a podcast shortly, some writings and who knows what else. I just want Coyote Grooves to stand for something I can feel proud to believe in.

[transguydustin-old]

ANSWER ALL SIXTY-FIVE

alright bitch

1.  Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? nah man

2.On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? if its like dark in my room like 1, if ive watched a scary thing before bed like 4 and if im outside at night alone 4

3. The person you would never want to meet? donald bitch dump

4. What is your favorite word?  vigorous

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? an oak idk

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? i dont remember what i had for lunch today, man

7. What shirt are you wearing?  a black shirt that says “hawkins a.v. club”

8. What do you label yourself as?  a trans boy gay pan artist wanna be actor bitch 

9. Bright room or dark room?  depends

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping? idk

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? this one

12. Who told you they loved you last?  idk maybe my mom 

13. Your worst enemy? anger

14. What is your current desktop picture?  yellow space aesthetic shit

15. Do you like someone?  no im an extra lonely bitch

16. The last song you listened to?  we didnt start the fire i think?

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? uhhhhhh mr potato man

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? my father

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? uhhhh no one idk 

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) my hair

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? uhhh be happy cause id have a dick finally

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? no im a limited talented bitch

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? corn cans

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. ham and colby jack cheese with mayonnaise

 25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? probably on clothes and funko pops

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? england 

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? orange juice

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? no straights allowed

29. What is your favorite expletive? fuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? none of them they make me me or whatever bullshit

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! england

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? bob newby

34. What was your last dream about? idk man

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? gay? yes 

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? nah

37. Have you ever built a snowman? ye

38. What is the color of your socks? gay

39. What type of music do you like? indie shit/ 80s pop/ other jams

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? sunsets

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? vanilla

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) who gives a fuck about sports

43. Do you have any scars? yeah

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? artist or actor idk something in the entertainment industry

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? nothing bitch

46. Are you reliable? depends idk

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? how you be, thot? ever get a boyf you rattie?

48. Do you hold grudges? very much so

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? a gay frog

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? a conversation with some friends about kinks idk im weak

51. Are you a good liar? ye

52. How long could you go without talking? like 2 seconds

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? long hair. it was bad. v bad.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? yes

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? a shitty british accent 

56. What do you like on your toast? butter? nutella? what else?

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? my gay sons first kisses

58. What would be you dream car? idk im not really into cars just a working car

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. uhhh i sing yeah

60. Do you believe in aliens? who do you think i am? an idiot? of course

61. Do you often read your horoscope? i read it once and it was scarily accurate

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? J

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? dinosaurs. the bitches actually existed its wild 

64. What do you think about babies? cutes babs, id like to have one when im an adult

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. Do you think remy from ratatouille is gay coded? yes 

there bitch 

[olpirtmoved]

1-65 fucker

MOTHERFUCKER Original post here: http://fueledbyjyler.tumblr.com/post/78153547750/65-questions-you-arent-used-to 1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?Sometimes, but not often. 2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?Most of the time it's about a 1 or 2, but sometimes it turns into 4. Not even because of anything sometimes I just get freaked out for no reason. 3. The person you would never want to meet? I don't really have anybody in mind ?? 4. What is your favorite word? Don't have one. 5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?A willow tree - for obvious reasons. 6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?Better than yesterday, I guess. 7. What shirt are you wearing?A pink t-shirt with a koala on it that says "I'M GIVING OUT SLAPS AND CUPCAKES & I'M ALL OUT OF CUPCAKES". 8. What do you label yourself as? An asshole. 9. Bright room or dark room?If you're talking about my own bedroom, it's usually bright, actually, since it has gold curtains and tends to light up really nicely. If you're talking about general preference then it really depends on the room and which aesthetic would suit it better. 10. What were you doing at midnight last night?I think I was sleeping. 11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?Fourteen. 12. Who told you they loved you last?My best friiiiend. 13. Your worst enemy?Responsibility. 14. What is your current desktop picture?It's a spacey desktop. Nice purples and blues mmmmm. 15. Do you like someone?Ya. 16. The last song you listened to?Forget by Pogo. 17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?Pence. 18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?Idk ?????? 19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?Eli, and I would have them love and appreciate themself / themselves (???). 20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)I like my eyes, but that's pretty much it. 21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?I THINK ABOUT THIS A LOT AND I AM NOOOT ANSWERING THIS QUESTION. 22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? I don't - I brag about all of my talents none of them are secret. 23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? I don't think there's actually anything unique I'm afraid of. I'm scared of some pretty standard shit. 24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. A REALLY FAT SANDWICH. That's it, just a basic sandwich that's reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally fat. It isn't a good sandwich unless you have trouble eating it. 25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? NEW DRESSES. 26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?To see my wonderful friend, Eli the magnificent, Eli the brilliant, Eli the fANTASTIC - 27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. I'm not gonna be brand specific but some kind of vodka I guess ?? I'm not a fan of alcohol in general but I like vodka so - 28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? SHIT MAN I DONT KNOW I WASNT BUILT TO RULE. 29. What is your favorite expletive?FUUUUUUUUUUCK. 30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? My phone probably, but since that's always on me anyway and would've been safe already, my laptop. 31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?My grandmother. Just - her in general. 32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?34. What was your last dream about?I can't remember most of my dreams, and this is no exception. 35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?Person. No. 36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?Yeah, when I was a baby my grandmother fed me spoonfuls of nutella. That's how everyone found out I was allergic to nuts. 37. Have you ever built a snowman?Yeah, but not in a few years. 38. What is the color of your socks?Not wearing socks. My feet are very cold. 39. What type of music do you like?All kinds, but I like industrial & classic. 40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?Sunsets. 41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?Vanilla. I'm basic. 42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)I don't like sports ummmmmm.43. Do you have any scars?Countless, but not from serious stuff. They're all really stupid, and usually start as something minor before I pick at them so much that they just sort of become permanent. 44. What do you want to be when you graduate?I graduated high school this year (2017), and haven't started college yet. 45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?I would give myself more motivation. 46. Are you reliable?Depends on who's asking. Generally no, though. 47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?Why aren't you dead yet. 48. Do you hold grudges?Yes. 49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?Bitch I'm not breeding anything let the animals do what they do. 50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? I once had an in depth conversation with my friends about whether or not it would be considered incest if you were to fuck a clone of yourself. If I'm being honest I've probably had weirder but that's the one I can remember best. 51. Are you a good liar?Yes. 52. How long could you go without talking?A looooooong time. 53. What has been you worst haircut/style? When I was in elementary school and had long hair. It wasn't necessarily a bad STYLE, but I neglected it so much that it would regularly tangle and form dreadlocks that my parents would have to force out each morning before school. I cried a lot. 54. Have you ever baked your own cake?Nope. 55. Can you do any accents other than your own?Yeah, but not many and not very well. 56. What do you like on your toast?Just butter, but a good amount of it. 57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?I can't remember, I don't draw often. 58. What would be you dream car?I've never really thought about it. 59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.I sing in the shower sometimes, but not as often these days. 60. Do you believe in aliens?Yes.61. Do you often read your horoscope?Noooope. 62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?Why the fuck would I have a favorite letter of the alphabet. 63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?Dragons 100%. 64. What do you think about babies?Eew. 65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.YOU DIDN'T ASK A QUESTION HERE HA I'M FREE.

[swelldomains]

How brands targeted “New Year, New Me” resolution makers to increase social media engagement

Did you make any New Year's Resolutions in January?

Many of us did - and also thankfully, for those people that chose to begin the year filled with excellent purposes, leading wellness retail and traveling brands (to name a pair) were on hand to motivate as well as enlighten us on the incentives of living an extra goal-focused lifestyle.

So who did what?

“I want to get fitter.”

Hitting the fitness center a lot more in 2017? Virgin Active UK took a very inspired technique on social media sites in order to help you. With their January 21 Days To #FeelIt project, they partnered with 21 social influencers who all committed to 21 days of exercising, to follow them on their health and fitness resolution adventures and also chart their successes. (Yes - 21 was a style.)

Virgin shared their influencer's blog posts and also involved with them throughout all networks, sending a message to their own following that "doing anything for 21 days will make it stick" - fitness included!

Their goals, backgrounds and also areas were all special, as were their reasons for wishing to be extra sports - whether it was to simply be as fit as feasible, develop their "summer body" - or also get prepped for the zombie apocalypse. (An individual goal of mine, also.)

Why did it work?

Virgin's range of influencers and also solid, unified strategy throughout all accounts made certain that they gave themselves the ideal possible opportunity of getting their motivational message before a huge prospective target market - one that would provide superb ROI in signing up afterwards.

The proof remains in the (exercising after) dessert - Virgin personal trainer and also proprietor of Wildcat Physical fitness, Lisa-Jane, commented that:

" I have actually been showing classes (Body Pump and Body Assault) at Virgin Energetic UK for over 8 years, and whilst we do constantly experience a 'January rush' of new gym-goers every year, this year has certainly been the busiest I've ever understood. My courses have actually all been waitlist-only, as well as sometimes totally scheduled 6 days in advance which is uncommon. Consequently the ambience has been unbelievable and I have actually met a lot of individuals that are starting out on their physical fitness journey, which to me can be only an extremely favorable thing and something I'm proud to be a part of."

' #FeelIt has been a dazzling campaign to kick off the year stylishly for Virgin Active", an agent from Virgin more informed us. "We were able to develop purposeful web content across a variety of channels while showcasing our internal skill - all supporting our picked 21 as well as pressing them to really feel brilliant! Seeing 21 different viewpoints on the best ways to build a lasting health and fitness practice, to leave them really feeling fantastic all year around, has been a fabulous knowing experience for us - and we have actually seen marked interest from brand-new social followers, as well."

“I want to eat better.”

A no-brainer of an opportunity for UK Supermarkets that filled our social media feeds with a series of healthy recipes and motivational messages to inspire and prepare us for a tidy 2017.

Not one to lose out, benefit merchant Nisa Resident (please note: Nisa are a customer of ours), partnered with their key suppliers, to supply quick and healthy dish suggestions, offers and also competitions: presenting healthy food as well as cooking as accessible as well as fun!

We were very keen to get Nisa's following to share their stories with us, welcoming them to try our recipes and, inquiring to share their fitness routines with us to aid inspire others to offer it a go, too.

Why did it work?

Stories of "healthy and balanced eating" usually discover as boring and also monotonous: lacklustre love affairs with soups and salads unhappily embarked after while we still secretly crave pizza and also ice cream.

So being told that, essentially, you can have all of it (terrific preference, straightforward dishes and also well balanced meals which taste like our less-good-for-you favourites) - well, that was undoubtedly mosting likely to be songs to our ears! Food brand names saw the resolution's core troubles as well as answered them - a straightforward back-and-forth that made January terrific for healthy living advertising and marketing rewards, as well as one that makes it terrific year after year.

“I want to travel more.”

Taking centre social phase for your travel-based resolutions (and also maybe a lot more poignantly, lightening up those pesky January Blues) - STA Travel.

The guidebook service reduced their costs for flights throughout the month (and are remaining to do so - resolutions aren't simply for January, after all!), advertising with a healthy and balanced mix of 3rd party reviews, blog site articles, their #StartTheAdventure hashtag and lots and also whole lots of breaking photography.

They likewise - in addition to various other traveling business such as Ice Lolly Holiday - had a flash Blue Monday competition on January 16th (apparently the "most gloomy day of the year") in which they provided their following the chance to win their dream holiday *sigh*.

Now those are bound to obtain your traveling resolution cogs in gear.

Why did it work?

STA's way to obtain you encouraged? Offering your convenience area a bad rep. Their aesthetically impactful blog posts are geared in the direction of things to waiting to, making seemingly aspirational and also out-of-reach experiences seem possible - and also achievable now. This "sharpening your appetite" technique also adopted real-time social such as Facebook Live and Snapchat, bringing the follower right into the moment again, perceivably, to earn them crave a comparable experience (and for that reason book one).

Again, client testimonials are respected throughout their feeds, revealing other individuals having a wonderful time on their very own journeys to motivate all of us to publication experiences as well as participate all the fun.

A common theme?

People are doing exactly what you intend to be doing, and also they're doing it currently. Showcasing people "like you" going with a 2017 objective you share is a strong way to motivate a larger complying with to hop onboard so as not to "miss out" - it's a gentle balance in between inspirational competition and, even more, driving the sentence that you can be standing out at what you want, too.

2017 is currently shaping up to be a whole lot of people's "years" - so why can not it be yours?

Subscribe to Extreme for a lot more juicy short articles similar to this, directly to your inbox - the best spot of lunchtime reading!

[smallpressdistribution]

7 TITLES LANA DEL REY WOULD LOVE (AND LOVE TO HATE CAUSE SHE’S A GEMINI)

IN THIS WEEK’S SPDCLICKHOLE by Maya Arthur

I am Maya, an intern at SPD this summer from Philly, and I proposed this listicle to my boss, Trisha and surprisingly, she liked this idea!

My first week of interning at SPD, I found it. The book was titled Lana Del Rey: Her Life in 94 Songs About Love, Sex And Death and I found it while searching for another book (which was in a completely different aisle - I promise I got better, SPD). It was her eyes that lured me in and also the complete randomness of the title in the warehouse right in between two experimental poetry books. I immediately became obsessed. 

The author F.A. Mannan goes through every song in her discography from her first EPs to her latest album Honeymoon and analyzes them. He finds comparisons and continuity in songs, he shares factoids, he shares information most pop culture fanatics know about Lana Del Rey, but in a way that feels like it’s brand new material. It’s not particularly fresh, but a whole book dedicated to it is so exciting and surreal. Its existence has blown my mind. It’s simply just a book dedicated to describing Del Rey songs, in short, succinct paragraphs (usually one, sometimes the song grants two). It’s an easy read and since finding it, I have solely been listening to Lana on Spotify, watching her music videos on loop, and reading all the fan blogs. 

I don’t know her, but I’m so proud of her. That’s how quickly obsessed I’ve become. But truly! She has grown so much from her “Born To Die” past - she now has a “Lust for Life.” She put it in a song so it’s gotta be true. I wonder if this new look at life means she’s reading a lot and discovering new books - so I thought up of this listicle to find what SPD books Lana would love and also love to hate (she’s a Gemini so she def hate-reads).

Thank you F.A. Mannan and Eyewear Publishing for igniting my fire. Thank you to my boss for giving me a platform to project a lot.

Here are seven titles Lana Del Rey would love to read (and of course, love to hate read). 

1. Pigeons and Pussy, William Minor, Shearsman Books

Let’s just do a comparison of writing from Pigeons and Pussy and Del Rey’s iconic Cola.

“My pussy tastes like Pepsi Cola

My eyes are wide like cherry pies

I got sweet taste for men who’re older

It’s always been so it’s no surprise”

Cola, Lana Del Rey, 2012

“Pussy is not rooted in the world of prose

it is rooted in the world of pussy. The poetry

of pussy is in the presentation of pussy.”

William Minor, Pigeons and Pussy, 2013

Wow. They go hand and hand. Cola as prose and Pigeons and Pussy as its explanation, as it’s analysis. Pussy is in the presentation of pussy. And that pussy is like Pepsi Cola. I wonder if Lana was using Pepsi Cola as not only a sugary caramel drink, but also like . . . American capitalism. Yeah, let’s go with that. Also, I can imagine Lana liking pigeons. I feel Lana likes the perception of things and people so she would like the notion of pigeons and its stigmas – how they are “rats with wings,” the underbelly of the bird world. Then she’d be like, “But WE created this hierarchy.” We being society, that is.

2. I Am Not Ashamed, Barbara Payton, Spurl Editions

Barbara Payton was one of the biggest stars in Old Hollywood. She had many famous suitors, had starring roles and was living the opulent lifestyle. Her fame grew so quickly and fervently, it seems Barbara couldn’t catch up in a way. Consumed by alcoholism and a heroin addiction, she resorted to prostitution in her later years before her death of heart and liver failure in 1967. I Am Not Ashamed is brash and confessional and simply unashamed – everything Lana wants to be and show to her audience. This title is definitely canon for Lana.  

3. Sex and Death, Ben Tanzer, sunnyoutside

THE PERFECT COMBO FOR LANA. Tanzer’s book is one of paradoxes – fidelity and infidelity, anxiety and confidence, passion and apathy. It makes me wonder – is sex and death symbiotic? Writer Ben Tanzer does not answer that question, but shows that sex seems to always be around death and death seems to follow sex. Maybe they are frenemies, acquaintances, coworkers eating lunch in the same break room, but different tables. Lana Del Rey states she “fucked her way to the top” to achieve more stardom, more attention. I feel like she’d write a complicated song about how sex sometimes leads to death which leads to more life after reading this book on a private jet.

4. I Love You Forever, No Matter, Robert Fitterman, Counterpath Press

A collection of found material about love with lines like “This is me, and this is my story” and “The heart wants what the heart wants.” Lana would love it. How it shows that love and the lines we use to state love are so universal and collective. She’d use a line as a lyric and chuckle when she sings it to a crowd.  She would have to agree - those lines are saccharine and a little corny, but true.

5. Geography of Love and Exile, Susannah Simpson, Cervena Barva Press

Many of Lana Del Rey’s songs explore love, but specifically the intensity of love. In her music, there exists a love so intense for someone that It ends up ostracizing and exiling them. The strong, forceful (Lana would say passionate) want to belong would ultimately produce a reticence from people. Or no matter how much attention and support one receives from others, they are still lonely. Susannah Simpson’s poetry in Geography of Love and Exile is a transitory experience. The journeys of love and belonging are vaguely ended, lost, stolen, cut short, dismissed, et cetera. Similar to Lana Del Rey’s songs of wanting – there usually is an end that is unsatisfactory, but that is the very nature of love. Ahem, that’s what Lana believes anyway.

6. Death and the American Dream, Daniel Cano, Bilingual Review Press

I must state this – Lana Del Rey is problematic. And saying celebrities are problematic tends to instigate a cutting off//doxxing//cleanse from the public, but I feel that Lana Del Rey is a person that would recognize all the vices of our current world and politics, undergo a Katy Perry-esque “white woman woke” stage in her life and would be down to read this book to cleanse herself from her fake chola days. Her short art film Tropico was a bad concept. This title has a great concept! It revolves around the life of Mexican emigrant Pepe Rios, a Spanish-language reporter lurking through an underground Los Angeles to uncover the truth about his best friend’s death. Author Daniel Cano shows that life isn’t a Horatio Alger coming-of-age book (and to be frank, never was).

7. The Fall of America: Poems of These States, 1965-1971, Allen Ginsberg, City Lights Publishers

I had to add Ginsberg. Lana would be too cool for Howl (again, she’s a Gemini). Many of her songs are about the idea of the American Dream. She attempts to subvert, although her lyrics are very literal. And she still posits herself as the Dream, the embodiment, literally she is a National Anthem. Maybe she’s saying that’s the fall of America? We focus on facades and outer appearance more than anything? I’m not sure.

She wouldn’t particularly like the book. She’d probably hate it. It’s more out of an obligation to her aesthetic. Her persona is American self-deprecation in a snazzy cover and this title fits the bill.

All books available here at spdbooks.org.