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[all4aoki]

⠀⠀ ☆ ░ ִ⠀ׂ NOW PLAYING . . . Hype Boy (250 Remix) NewJeans

your boys love your instagram almost as much as you do . . . enha x f!reader, poly!enha, enha8thmember

wc . . . 2.7k , warnings ! none, just fluff!

©all4aoki, 2024

You were very proud of the image you’d built yourself. It was the perfect mix of your authentic self, the sensitive and shy, with the personality HYBE had wanted for you, borderline hyper feminine and maybe a little more energetic than you usually were. But nonetheless, the soft, princess-y aesthetic you now exuded was something you thoroughly enjoyed. Fans did too, and that made sharing your life with them all that more enjoyable.

“Are you sure I’m centered?” you asked Sunoo and he shuffled backwards a bit at your question. “Sun, that’s not an answer.”

“Calm down, princess, I'm just trying to get your whole outfit in the frame,” he said, eyes glued onto your phone screen. Finding places to take Instagram pictures at music shows was difficult. Not to say you weren’t a fan of the infamous pink wall of MBC, or the stairs from KBS, but you were a perfectionist and could only take so many pictures in front of them. So, after finding the prettiest spot by a large set of windows that showcased the beautiful weather that day, you couldn’t help but stop to snap a few pictures for a future post or photo dump.

You were just lucky that you had the most amazing boyfriends to help you take pictures.

“Woah! Did I just die and go to heaven?” You continued posing as Heeseung and Jake walked by, deciding to join you and Sunoo.

“Get out of here, Heeseung-hyung. She doesn’t need you distracting her–” Sunoo’s jaw dropped a bit as you changed the way you were standing once again. “Yah, what did they put in your water today?”

You giggled, feeling your face heat up at the compliments being thrown your way. “Stop!”

“So pretty!” Jake cheered as the three boys smiled at your fluster. “Gorgeous! Amazing! Wonderful!”

“Ahh!” you cried, covering your face with your hands to try and hide the pink that’d joined the makeup blush on your cheeks. You had a love-hate relationship when your boyfriends would watch you take photos. It was adorable with the way they fawned over you, shouting praises and fighting over who was holding the camera. But whenever they were around, you always ended up having too much fun instead of taking your tasks seriously.

That, and they had a rather cruel enjoyment of teasing you.

“Cute!” Heeseung joined Jake’s encouragements, using a tone that was similar to when he spoke to cute kids or animals.

Sunoo ignored them, but a small smile still remained on his lips. Anyone could tell that he was simply enjoying the sight of you. “Turn your head to the left a little,” he instructed and you did as he asked. And as you smiled for the camera, their small gasps of awe and tiny cheers continued. The three boys couldn’t believe you were real. The way your hair flowed effortlessly and how your makeup had been applied that day only added to your natural beauty. And the way the rhinestone decorated skirt clung to your hips and the matching top wrapped around your torso made you appear almost dreamlike. But they figured it made sense that someone so beautiful on the inside was also unbelievably stunning on the outside.

It was the little moments like these that they took to bask in their love for you. Watching as you act so naturally was like watching the sun break through the clouds on a rainy day, giving them spurts of happiness through the stressful times of promotion. When you shyly accepted their words of affection, that relaxed, blissed feeling of everything being at ease spread through each of them.

“Okay, okay,” you said suddenly, running up to Sunoo to grab your phone. “I’m done now.”

“What?” Sunoo said, turning his body so your hand missed the electronic. “But I didn’t even get any with you!”

“I didn’t know that you wanted to take any!” you laughed, trying to swipe for your phone again. Sunoo nodded his head as he maneuvered his arms so they were wrapped around you.

Jake took the phone from the younger, “I want some too.”

You sighed, walking back to the spot by the window as Sunoo clung onto your back. “Heeseung-oppa I’m guessing you’ll want some too?”

He grinned, “Of course.”

“Ok. Can you kiss me first?” Sunoo asked, interrupting Heeseung. In response, your hands found their way to the soft skin of his cheeks and Sunoo tilted his head over your shoulder so you could reach him. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Jake angling the phone with a few words of help from Heeseung. Sunoo nudged your head with his, drawing your attention back to him, “Kiss me.”

Without wasting another second, you did just that. Your fingers trailed along the skin of his neck as he pressed his lips against yours again and again. The faint sound of the iPhone camera shuttering being the only thing keeping you from losing yourself in the love you had for your boyfriends.

After you had satisfied the three’s need for pictures with you, you all quickly carried on with the day. The hours were long when it came to Music Shows. The actual recordings were over faster than you could’ve originally guessed, but the time spent waiting for the winners to be revealed tested your patience no matter what mood you were in. So, in order to distract from the mind-numbing boredom and the longing to sleep, you always turned yourself over to the rest of the group. And usually, they had no trouble keeping you entertained.

This day was no exception.

Riki was more than happy when you waltzed over after cooling down and motoring the performance, plopping yourself down onto the couch before cuddling up into his side. He didn’t hesitate to brush your hair out of the way so it wouldn’t be pulled on and blissfully helped you get comfortable on his lap.

“I need your opinion,” you said, suddenly shoving your phone screen in front of his face. He took the device from you, discovering the pretty photos of you in your outfit from the day’s stage. “Which ones should I post?” you asked and he began to swipe through them. Riki’s chin fell onto your shoulder, resting on it as he looked over the pictures. Your scent infiltrated his senses, and he melted a bit at the comforting sensation.

Riki clicked his tongue after a moment, tilting his head so it was resting on the side of yours. “I don’t know if any of them are good.”

Your head snapped to the side, looking behind you at what he was seeing and ultimately pushing his head off yours.

“What’re you…” Oh. On the screen was one of the pictures you’d taken with Sunoo, your cheeks pressed together as he smiled and you were halfway through a laugh. “Ah Riki-san,” you giggled as he resumed going through the pictures, getting to the ones of you and Jake. “Did you want some pictures with me?”

His full lips pushed out into a pout. “No– Wow, with Heeseung-hyung too?” You slapped his chest softly in protest.

“You were getting ready, Ki. I didn’t want to interrupt you,” you explained and his warm brown eyes turned to you, gaze gentle with admiration. “Hmm?” you questioned after a moment of silence. His head ducked down to kiss your cheek.

“Let’s take some now.”

“I thought you didn’t want any?”

He opened the camera app, “Well, I want to be featured in your Instagram post.”

At the words ‘Instagram’ and ‘Post’ Jay, who’d been sitting in a chair near the couch Riki and you were snuggled into, abruptly found interest in what you both were doing. Deciding to disregard how the older was now staring at you both, you made a half heart with your hand and held it up to Riki’s cheek.

“Can I do a heart pose with you?”

Riki rolled his eyes, but the hints of a smile gave him away. “Fine.”

You let out a small ‘Yay’ as the two of you got situated. He angled the camera and took a few pictures with the pose you’d requested before he delicately grabbed your face, maneuvering it closer to his so your cheeks were touching and your lips were almost on his.

“Riki-san–” your voice was muffled as his fingers squished your cheeks together.

“You don’t have to post these, but you should send them to me, princess.” Your heart trembled at the nickname that the younger was so fond of using.

The corners of your lips brushed, but Riki pulled away before you could actually move to kiss him. His expression read expectant, “Of course I’ll send them to you, Ki.”

He gave you a quick peck. “I think Jay-hyung wants a picture now.” It was true, Jay had gotten up from his spot on the chair and was now standing awkwardly by one of the gray plastic tables in the center of the dressing room. You pretended to groan as Riki assisted you in getting off of his lap, thighs brushing yours and making your face feel warm.

“You guys have never shown this much interest in my Instagram before,” you said as you pranced over to your older boyfriend. His hands found your waist instantly, and before you could process what was happening, you were being lifted off the ground and into Jay’s arms.

Riki, like the photography geek he was, had been snapping photos while Jay pulled you up so he was holding you bridal style. “We are, I don’t think you’ve ever noticed before, though.”

“It’s an honor to be on your feed,” Jay added, and you tried to not focus on how he was gripping your legs. No matter how long you’d been dating all of them, they still had the ability to make those butterflies erupt in your stomach and your heart race with love.

You wound your arms around his neck and made eye contact with the phone that was pointed at you and Jay.

“It’s an honor that you guys want to be on my feed.”

Jay’s thumb rubbed against your leg comfortingly, “Of course we want to be included with everything you do. We’re in love with you.”

You cooed faintly at his words, “I love you.”

“I love you too!” Riki called, taking one more picture before getting up himself and bringing your phone over to you. Jay refused to put you back down as you reached for the youngest. So you settled for caressing Riki’s cheek with your hand after taking back your phone.

“Love you, Ki.”

“Yeah. And since you love me so much you should be posting me today.”

The urge to take off your makeup had never been so strong before. You were exhausted, but the day of promotions was finally over and it was time to head back to the dorms. All you longed to do was throw yourself onto the large couch in the main room and cuddle with your boys. Maybe watch an old Disney movie too. Sangmi definitely would appreciate that.

The chatter from the other members as they got ready to leave fell as white noise onto your ears as you got your things around. One of your least favorite things was when you would accidentally leave things behind at music shows, therefore a new habit of yours that quickly formed after your debut was double and triple checking that everything you brought ended up right back in your bag.

Mentally, you ran through your list as you shuffled through the light pink My Mum Made It puffer bag. Phone charger, vitamins, perfume, hair clips–

“What is this I’ve heard about you taking pictures with everyone but me today?”

“Hello to you too, Hoon.” His arms slipped around your middle from behind and he peeked over you as you made sure you had everything.

“Can I have one too, baby?”

You leaned back to leave a kiss on his neck, “Of course. I just need to find my water bottle first. I don’t know where it went.”

“It’s on the vanity over here,” Sunghoon said as he tilted his head towards the left.

“Thanks, Hoon,” you replied as you took his hands to free yourself from his grasp. He didn’t let go of your hand though. Instead, he gripped onto you even tighter, your fingers feeling small as they clutched onto his thumb, and you pulled him along with you to grab the last thing you needed.

Swiftly, you grabbed the metal water bottle and moved to head back to your bag before he stopped you. “Mirror selfie?” Sunghoon offered.

“Ooh, yeah let’s do it.” You checked over your hair and makeup for a moment, deciding that while the style had fallen a bit flat and the makeup had begun to wear off, you still looked presentable. Both you and Sunghoon had changed out of your stage outfits, you wearing the brown skirt you’d shown up in today, with one of Heeseung’s white long-sleeved shirts on your top half. Sunghoon was wearing dark brown, almost black, slacks with a beige sweater that had a button-down white shirt underneath.

You turned to face him, and hugged him tightly, foot popping up behind you as you winked at the camera through the mirror.

Sunghoon chuckled, “Okay, now do a serious one.”

He let his own free arm fall to rest around your hips as you dropped your leg and smiled gently at the phone. After a minute, he decided that was enough and pulled up the pictures for you to check.

“Wah, we look so good!”

Sunghoon grinned at you, “I think it’s impossible for you to look bad.”

All you could do was tuck your head and giggle into his chest. Trying to hide your giddiness was never easy, especially when it was one of the things Sunghoon always searched for.

As soon as you had gotten into the car with Jungwon, Jay, and Sunghoon, you had fallen asleep.

Jungwon’s wide shoulders were just too comfortable to resist, and with the feeling of safety and happiness in your heart, as well as sleep pushing your eyelids closed, you were quick to drift off. You didn’t dream of anything, though, and as soon as the car began to approach the dorms, Jungwon shook you awake gently.

“Hi, dolly,” he said sweetly and you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes. You kept your head on his shoulder as the car slowly wound down the road towards the dorm. The feeling of his hand rested on your own and you blinked heavily, enjoying the feeling of relaxation. Until you saw your phone in your boyfriend’s hand, your Instagram account pulled up on the screen.

“Hey, Yang Jungwon-ssi, what’re you doing with my phone?”

He leaned forward at the same time as you did, refusing you of your device.

“He posted for you,” Jay said from the seats behind you where he sat with Heeseung. “Really cute. ENGENEs are loving it.”

You glanced up at Jungwon, suspicious, “Let me see.”

The three boys laughed.

“Jungwon-oppa what did you post!” you laughed nervously and Jungwon shook his head. With him distracted by your reaction, you tugged his arm closer to you so you could look at it.

The first picture was one of the ones you’d taken by yourself, a cute one of you holding your skirt and laughing. Still not believing that the boys had posted anything skeptical of your relationship, you continued looking through them. There was a picture of you and Sunoo (the one that Riki had pointed out earlier) and the one with Jake where you were leaning onto his chest. The one with Heeseung standing behind you, his chin propped up on your head and one of each of the pictures you’d taken with Riki and Jay. There was your mirror picture with Sunghoon and…

One of you sleeping on Jungwon, your mouth open and a string of drool slipping out of the corner of your mouth.

“YAH YANG JUNGWON!” You finally tore the phone out of his hands, “What is this?” you cried.

The three of you boyfriends only laughed hysterically at your reaction. “Don’t you look so cute?” Jungwon asked.

“Oh my goodness, my idol image.”

“You don’t even look bad, princess, you just look adorable,” Sunghoon said.

You huffed out a breath of air, pouting and leaning even further onto Jungwon. “You guys are going to be the death of me.”

Jungwon pointed at something on the screen, “At least we made the caption cute.”

dollerina ENGENEs aren’t the only ones obsessed with me💕😁

마리셀의 노트 , newjeans release more music puh-lease!😭 I miss you

[all4aoki]

  ⊹ 𝓢END 𝓐 𝓢IGNAL ⠀Ꮺ ָ࣪ ۰ ִ

you hated change, but maybe it was necessary for your happiness . . . enha x f!reader (pjs focused), poly!enha, enha8thmember

wc . . . 13.1k , warnings! my poor attempts of writing angst, cheating / talks of cheating, mentions of kidnapping & death, rushed writing, me guessing stuff about being an idol, not proofread

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©all4aoki, 2024

Something was wrong. Not the kind of wrong that settled heavily in your gut and told you that you needed to remove yourself from the situation, but the kind that started as a small voice in your brain and morphed into something you thought about constantly. Which was strange to you. Promotions for Border: Day One were finally coming to an end and the preparations for your group’s next mini album had already begun, so while the stress of your job hadn’t fully gone away, you didn’t think it was the cause of your intuition going haywire

That feeling would only rear its ugly head where it was unwanted when you would watch them interact. Normally, when the male members of Enhypen spent time together, love was the only emotion you could sense. Fondness. Joy. Whatever you wanted to call it, it didn’t make you feel uneasy. But recently, when you saw Sunghoon and Jay together, a part of your mind related them to a ticking time bomb. The reason was unclear, but the way their eyes shined with a kind of passive aggressiveness when the other wasn’t looking and the fact that they had been only communicating with each other in short sentences since a week ago screamed unhealthy to you. After all, you had never seen them engage in what you assumed to be a fight. And since you were such a good girlfriend, you were going to stay out of it until Sunghoon said something to you.

Besides, resolving tensions was Jungwon’s job.

“I think you’ve developed a staring habit,” Sunoo said from beside you on the couch. You blinked away from the video game the eldest four of the group were playing on the TV.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “What’d you mean?”

“What do you mean, ‘What do you mean’?” He continued eating the ice cream that had somehow found its way into your fridge one day. “I swear every time I look at you now you’re spacing out.”

Well, to be fair, you were trying to put the pieces of some kind of puzzle together. “I was just thinking–” you hesitated, but quickly concluded that if anyone would shut down your worries speedily, it would be Sunoo. You lowered your voice to a whisper, “Do you think Hoon and Jay-oppa are mad at each other?”

The two boys in question were sitting on the floor, a large amount of distance and Heeseung between them. 

Sunoo didn’t say anything.

“Mmm… you know something, don’t you?” you giggled as he shrugged and took another bite from his dessert. “Tell meee,” you whined, throwing yourself onto Sunoo’s lap only for him to (somewhat) gently push you off and onto the floor. 

The thud of your landing made seven other heads snap in your direction. 

“Sunoo-ah did you just push my girlfriend off the couch?” Sunghoon asked, getting up quickly and taking the short five steps to your spot on the floor. You sat up easily and rubbed the back of your head to make sure nothing hurt.

The rest of your members were unsurprised when Sunghoon and you announced your relationship. Maybe you two hadn’t done the best job of hiding it, but you still thought that with the debut, they wouldn’t have noticed anything. Turns out the way Sunghoon looked at you, as if you hung the moon and stars, and how you had barely let him out of your grasp were clear indicators of your relationship. So after a few weeks of being together, and when you were sure you were never getting away from the honeymoon phase, the two of you had sat the rest of the members down only to be met with: “Oh we already knew.”

Sunghoon kneeled down next to you, one of his hands coming up to meet yours on the back of your head and the other wrapping around your waist. His fingers rubbed against the silky strands of your hair as he felt for any kind of forming bump.

“He didn’t push me that hard,” you reassured. “I’m fine. Promise.”

You tried to disregard the concerned looks and Heeseung’s request for he himself to look at your head. In an attempt to distract yourself, you took Sunghoon’s hand from the back of your hand and tenderly placed a kiss on his palm, then on the corner of his mouth after shifting onto your knees.

“M’ not a baby,” you said, ruffling his hair before sliding over to the base of the couch. Your feet crossed under you as you settled between Jay and Sunoo, who was still unphased on the sofa. 

Riki scoffed from his spot on the furniture, in the far right corner, “Get a room!” 

Sunghoon responded with a roll of his eyes. 

He followed you to your new position on the floor, pushing at your legs so he could lay on his back between them. You complied, dropping them straight and letting him rest his head back on your stomach. Sunghoon at some point had gotten his controller back as well, and for a few minutes, there was silence apart from the shooting and violence of the video game.

The game was quick to become boring and you reached behind you, hand blindly searching for your phone. Thankfully, Sunoo placed the device right in your grip before you would’ve had to ask Sunghoon to sit up for you to look. 

“Thanks, Sun,” you whispered to him and he smiled softly at you. When you turned your eyes away from him, glancing to your right, there was Jay. His jaw was set in a form that looked too tense to be comfortable and his knuckles white from holding onto the controller with a hand that was probably too tight. 

Yeah, something was definitely wrong.

You felt something shift against your stomach and you looked down to realize that Sunghoon had been looking up at you. He had been watching you study one of his best friends who was sitting a little too close to you for him to not feel a bit antsy. A small grumble left him with a choice of words you couldn’t comprehend and then Sunghoon was forcing one of your hands into his luxurious-feeling locks. Out of instinct, you ran your fingernails along his scalp in an attempt to calm him down. 

You had kept your interference between the male members and their conflicts to a minimum, in firm belief that they were mature enough to sort out their differences, but there was a part of you that kept tempting you to do something this time. 

Rarely did they need help, and you figured that they wouldn’t ask for it unless it was absolutely necessary. In fact, they honestly might not ask for help at all, pride and ego being traits that were still overwhelmingly strong in their personalities. And while you didn’t want them to be angry at you for trying to extend an assisting hand, you didn’t want the people you loved fighting each other either. So, maybe you didn’t have to do anything. Asking wouldn’t hurt. That way, you would at least be aware of whatever was going on between the two boys. Then you would be able to decide what to do. 

Nodding a bit to yourself, you twisted your head to be directed towards the elder male on your right. “After this round can you help me make some food?”

Jay’s eyes snapped over to you, and you were surprised at the sharpness they held. Was he angry at you too? Your confidence in your plan faltered at his reaction to your request. Subconsciously, you shrunk away from him, your eyes suddenly unable to meet his for more than a few seconds. 

“Sorry, I was just hungry.”

Jay blinked slowly and tilted his head to the side as he went back to the game, “Of course, we can make something. Don’t apologize if you’re hungry.” Somehow that made you feel worse. 

Sunghoon moved against your belly again, “Let me make something for you.” Normally, you would’ve gladly accepted the offer, but you felt as if you needed to talk to Jay. It was weird, you’d never played the mediator before. Usually, you would stand off to the side and watch everything unfold, only interjecting when necessary, but maybe it was time that you began trying to help your loved ones in more ways than one. 

You smiled down at Sunghoon, his head pressing into the soft skin of your stomach as he craned his head back at you. “Thank you, Hoon, but I want an edible meal.”

“Yah, I can cook!” he pouted and you cooed at the cute expression. Your thumbs ran over the smooth expanse of his cheeks and he leaned into your touch.

Prickles of heat on the right side of your body began to rise and at the feeling, you glanced over your shoulder to find Jay staring at the two of you. 

“Jay-oppa can make me something, Hoon.”

“Yeah, Hoon, let Jay-oppa make YN-ie something.” You didn’t like how he emphasized the two boys’ names. Especially with the way Sunghoon sharply tilted his head towards his elder. If you could’ve seen his eyes, you figured they would be burning with some kind of anger considering the way his muscles tensed.

For a moment, the only sounds that met your ears were the quiet conversation the other members were having, the TV in the background, and the video Sunoo was watching as he undoubtedly eavesdropped on the three of you.

“Mmm, okay,” Sunghoon sighed as he turned away from Jay, facing the television and placing his elbows on the outside of your legs. Harshly, he pulled your limbs closer to his sides with his arms and you almost yelped at the way your legs slid on the ground. 

His thumbs rattled the buttons and joysticks with an alarming speed, “As long as I get to feed you when he’s done cooking, princess.”

Your face scrunched up in confusion and maybe a hint of disgust at his words. Feed you? What was he saying? Sunghoon was well aware of your love for your independence, and while you’d slowly been allowing him to take care of you in ways that you previously hadn’t wanted, he should’ve known that you could do basic human functions. 

“What’re you…” you softly muttered to yourself, but ultimately gave up on your point. You cleared your throat quickly, shifting your attention back to Jay. “Do we still have stuff for bibimbap?”

“I don’t want bibimbap!” Jake cried from the other side of the room.

You laughed, “Then you don’t have to have any!”

“Yeah, I’m just making food for YN-ie and me to eat,” Jay added. 

“And me,” Sunghoon said. You mentally cursed him. Of course, you loved the boy more than anything else in the world, but there shouldn’t have been a reason as to why he wasn’t letting you spend one-on-one time with another member. Especially not Jay. 

The elder had been there for you as soon as Part 2 of I-Land began, almost acting as some sort of caregiver. Brother definitely wasn’t the right word, he was always too nice and a tad bit too nervous to engage in any sort of sibling-like banter. Friend for sure. He was always the one checking up on you after those first weeks, making sure you were tending to your needs and doing it for you if you admitted you hadn’t.

If Sunghoon should’ve had the most trust in any of the members for your well-being, it should’ve been Jay. But now he was engaging himself in every instance of alone time you had with Jay.

Your fingers stroked his face again, relishing in the warmth that radiated from his body, “Didn’t you just eat?”

He chuckled, “I’m always hungry.”

“Don’t they need you here to play the game?”

“I’m sure they’ll manage.” So he wasn’t going to relent this time. “It’s starting to sound like you don’t want to spend time with me!” Sunghoon teased playfully. You did your best to act like he hadn’t caught your plan of action to solve this cold war-esque fight.

Suddenly, your face felt warm. “Hoon, that’s not true. I don’t want you to overeat–”

“Wow,” Sunoo said from above you. 

You glared at him from over your shoulder, “Hush.” The boy simply shrugged. “You know what, I actually can’t wait.” As gently and lovingly as you could manage, you lifted Sunghoon’s upper body off of you and laid him back on the ground as you stood up. 

You offered a hand to Jay. 

His dark eyes flickered between your outstretched palm and your boyfriend that was spread out on the tile, Sunghoon’s own eyes studying you as if you were some sort of goddess. It looked like he was thinking about something, but before you could try to deduce what, Jay’s rough palm slid into your hand as he got up. 

Even when you tried to tug away, his fingers held your smaller ones tight.

“I was asking for your controller,” you muttered, taking the item from his other hand and tossing it to Sunoo. “Here, Sun, you play.”

Sunoo whined a bit, but made room in his hands for the device, balancing what little remained of his ice cream against the object. Sunghoon nudged your ankle with his hand and you instantly found him.

A soft smile was swift to grace your lips and his small grin matched yours.

“I love you,” you said and Jay moved behind you, pulling you towards the kitchen. A chorus of “I love you too” followed, Sunghoon yelling how your words were meant for him being the last thing you heard before you were left in mediocre silence with the older male in the kitchen.

For a while, nothing was said. Your throat felt clogged every time you thought you were finally going to say something. It was almost embarrassing how you couldn’t find the comfort that was usually there when you spoke to Jay. It had been routine for everything to be so easy between the two of you and you weren’t sure when that’d changed.

Silently, you slid into one of the chairs at the island that Jay was now using to prep your requested dish.

“Do you want to help?” he asked, beginning to prepare the rice. You shrugged and pulled the cutting board that he’d gotten out to your side of the island. 

“If you need it so bad, sure.” He glanced at you from over his shoulder. Snarkily, you smiled at him. And as he got the package of shredded carrots out of the fridge, you began cutting up the cucumber.

Jay furrowed his eyebrows and leaned on the counter, “I’m not sure if I like that cutting technique you’re using.”

“I thought you wanted me to help,” you said, popping one of the slices into your mouth and chewing.

Jay slipped the cutting board away from you as quickly as you had taken it, “Sorry Kendall Jenner, but I don’t want you losing a finger.” You pouted at his words, face scrunching up as he voiced his playful doubt. 

“Hey…” you whined as he gently took hold of the wrist of the hand that was holding the knife, taking the tool from you. “I’m never gonna get better at cooking if you don’t let me try!”

He chuckled at your reaction, chopping up the rest of the vegetable and handing you a few pieces as he did so. You ate them, but not without frowning at him as he gave you each one. 

“Don’t need you hurting yourself though,” he explained. “And when I teach you to cook we would be making a nice meal. Something they would serve at an expensive restaurant.” 

The thought of him instructing you, getting closer than he normally would, whispering to you as you both shared laughter made your face flush. The alarming sensation of butterflies in your gut suddenly rushed over you. It was a feeling that you only got with Sunghoon. A feeling that you were only supposed to get with Sunghoon. You brushed it off. You were thinking about Sunghoon, that was probably why you suddenly felt that good kind of nervousness. The one that was one of the many reasons that made you understand why being in love was so wonderful. Something that made life so enjoyable. 

You did your best to smile, pushing down whatever had found its way into your gut. 

“I don’t think I have the patience to work on something for that long.”

“Well, you do it every day. As your job, so the least you could do is spend some time with me.” One more cucumber. You took it halfheartedly. 

“Yeah… I’m sorry I haven’t been hanging out with you guys as often as I used to but I’ve been trying to–”

“Be with Sunghoon,” Jay finished for you. As a response, you nodded. The timer for the rice went off, and Jay slowly spun around to get the food. The smell of comfort filled the space, and you sunk a bit into the hardness of your seat. “I just can’t believe that he thinks it’s okay for you to be with him 24/7 because you’re…”

He couldn’t even finish his sentence.

“Dating?”

“Yeah,” Jay agreed right away. You watched as he retrieved two bowls from one of the cupboards and began assembling the bibimbap for the two of you. After those words, it was easy to piece together that he was angry at Sunghoon because you’d been spending all of your free time with him. And honestly, that made you angry.

Of course you were going to spend time with your boyfriend. While you still wanted to keep your friendships with the rest of the members strong, you were going to prioritize the boy you were in love with because, well, you were in love with him. 

You cleared your throat awkwardly, “Is that why you’ve been so passive-aggressive with him lately?” Jay said nothing as he moved to the end of the table to retrieve two pairs of chopsticks. 

“Don’t worry about whatever small fight we’re having,” Jay said, giving you a close-lipped smile as he handed you the bowl of food that you’d been supposedly craving. “We’ll get past it soon. We’re just like brothers… and it’s a small misunderstanding.”

Gently, you blew on the food before you brought a mouthful to your lips, humming as you chewed. He was probably right. The boys had had small arguments and miscommunications before, and it never took them extremely long before they made up. They loved each other too much to fight for that long. And they probably already had separation anxiety from each other, like you did. You always felt guilty whenever you were mad at one of the other members. At first, anger would drive your actions and thoughts, but the culpability would never be far behind, and you were never able to hold a grudge or stay in a fight for more than two or three days.

Maybe you forgave people too easily, or maybe you just had the blessing of empathy.

“Well,” you started, stirring your food around with the metal chopsticks. “If there’s anything I can do, please let me know.” Jay grinned at you, his mouth full of the hot bibimbap. 

“Just don’t forget about the rest of us, okay?” He reached over and instinctively, you leaned back, dodging his touch. “Relax, you have sauce on your mouth,” he laughed and you tried to do the same as he wiped the corner of your lips with his thumb. Something in your chest sped up. 

Your shocked expression must’ve been extremely amusing to the older male because as he slipped the thumb with the gochujang sauce into his mouth, he couldn’t help but laugh again.

You shouldn’t have listened to Jay.

While he almost always knew what he was talking about, somehow having just a bit more wisdom than the rest of you and not hesitating to use it, apparently, he had no idea that this whole scenario was worse for Sunghoon. You had left the subject of his growing tensions with Jay to rest, figuring that you were doing the right thing by letting them fix things on their own. Especially after your interaction with Jay in the kitchen. 

You had slowly begun returning to your old ways of spreading your time out equally with all of the members. Eating breakfast with all of them instead of hole-ing yourself up in your room with Sunghoon and going out with the members one-on-one. Not to say you were ignoring them in the first place, you still had been with them for the majority of your days, but having the opportunity to connect with them on a personal level again was making a part of you feel whole again. It was weird to think about. Your heart was already so full and content when you were with Sunghoon, and you knew that being with him was more than enough for your happiness. But that happiness increased tenfold with the rediscovered relationships of you and your other members.

You hadn’t even noticed that you’d somewhat been isolating yourself with Sunghoon.

But apparently, this sudden change in your everyday routine was enough to send him over the edge. 

The two of you had yet to sleep in separate beds since you got together, and it had become a nightly ritual for the two of you to get ready for bed together. It was an intimate way to end the day and being with him calmed all of the worries and stresses that you’d dealt with for all of the hours that you’d been awake. Laughing with him was so easy and it was adorable the way he’d sit on the closed toilet while waiting for you to finish your skincare. 

And as you both entered the bathroom, you found yourself repeating that same phrase that had become your mantra for the past week: something was wrong. 

He was quiet as you slipped on your headband and he stayed that way as you brushed your teeth, waiting for you to spit in the sink so he would have the space to do so as well. You studied him as you stood straight, left hand holding your hair back so you wouldn’t get any toothpaste in it. Sunghoon’s face was devoid of any emotion. Blank. But his eyes held a kind of annoyance that you’d rarely noticed before. 

His movements were sharp with agitation as he turned the water on to wash the brushes, and you didn’t miss how he bit the inside of his cheek. You gaped for words. The last thing you wanted to do was make him even angrier, and considering you had yet to see Sunghoon this angry without him even saying anything, you weren’t quite sure how to comfort him. You weren’t that great at comforting people in the first place. Once again, you never really knew what to say, but that was what worked so well with you and Sunghoon. He never knew what to say either. You would hold each other and only share words to explain after your severe emotions had passed like the worst of a storm. 

This didn’t feel like that. It was almost as if he was waiting for you to say something, to provoke him. He’d been bottling up his frustration with the rest of your members for so long that he was ready to explode. And at that moment, you knew he wanted to explode at you.

“What’s wrong?” you finally asked, voice meek. No eye contact was made as Sunghoon sighed deeply, not even bothering to lift his head in your direction. 

“Nothing.”

You wanted to groan, to roll your eyes at his stubbornness, but you reminded yourself to have patience or nothing good would come from this conversation. “That’s not true, Hoon… I love you and if something’s bothering you–”

“Do you?” You looked at the back of his head, face scrunching a bit in confusion. Before you could say anything he continued, “Still love me?”

“What?!” you half laughed, which you immediately regretted. “What is this nonsense? Why would I not love you, Hoon.”

His hands on the sink shook a bit and he closed his fingers around the edge to stop the jittering. “Why have you been– have been avoiding me all week?” 

“I haven’t been avoiding you,” you instantly denied. “We’ve been doing everything we normally do–”

“No–” he cut himself off, clearing something in his throat and for a split second it almost sounded like he was choking down a sob. “We haven’t had a meal with just each other once. I don’t think we’ve had a conversation for this long since Sunday and do you remember that coffee date we were supposed to go on yesterday?”

Your heart dropped and the tears came almost instantaneously.

How could you have forgotten that? 

“That’s what I thought,” Sunghoon laughed, sounding watery as he finally pushed himself away from the sink to face you. Your stomach was made of wet sand and you couldn’t bear to look at him. “And you skipped it–” he was blinking harshly now, one of his index fingers pointing at you. “To watch a movie with Jay.”

You were crying now, tears making little streams down your face and you reached for your boyfriend. He pushed your hands away quickly.

“Hoon at least let me apologize!”

“No! You don’t even deserve to be the one crying right now!” He was shouting now and the loud sounds made you shrink back from him. He didn’t even acknowledge it. “I’m the one that deserves to be upset! The guy that has a crush on my girlfriend convinced her that she was neglecting everyone else when she was just neglecting me!”

You shouldn’t have listened to Jay. He had lied to you.

“Sunghoon I didn’t know, please–” You tried to take hold of his face again but he caught your hands, refusing your touch again. “Jay doesn’t like me! And even if he did, I love you. Not him–”

“It doesn’t matter!” Your wrists shook with his movements. “It’s too late. I was stupid to think that I would get to have you to myself when you act like that all the time.”

“Act like what?” you spat at him. Your faces were inches apart now and you could see that a few trails of water had slipped from Sunghoon’s own beautiful eyes too. The urge to wipe them away and kiss his face almost overpowered your growing exasperation. 

“Like you’re their girlfriend too! Like you would choose them over me!–”

“Sunghoon stop it!” 

You tugged your hands away from him, fed up with how he wasn’t actually listening to what you had to say. An uncomfortable silence found its way into the bathroom like a ghost. Only then did you realize how quiet the rest of the dorm was too. Which meant that everyone had probably heard you and Sunghoon fighting. Great.

He huffed, irritation clear even in the small action.

“Have some respect.”

His shoulder hit yours as he pushed past you to the bathroom exit, swinging the door open without a second glance back. You could only listen as his footsteps made their way down the hallway and a door slammed loudly after they’d slowed to a stop. 

You needed to get out.

In a much quieter fashion than Sunghoon, you slipped out of the bathroom and made a beeline for the exit. And to your confirmation, Heeseung, Jay, and Jake were sitting in the living room, not muttering a single word as you stormed past the room to the door. You didn’t even feel their eyes on you as you tossed on a random pair of slippers and tugged on a coat that probably wasn’t even yours. 

“YN-ah, wait!–” one of them finally called, although you weren’t sure which one it was since you were outside in the cold before they could say anything else.

Something inside of you must’ve disconnected as you walked down the driveway and along the street, not sure where you were going, but it felt so good to be by yourself for once that you didn’t really care. But as you left the neighborhood and entered the portion of Seoul that was maybe a few miles away from the dorm, you were back to thinking.

And the question that stood out among the rest was: why was your best never enough? Why didn’t people understand that you were trying?

Then the sobbing started. Your hands gingerly found their way to your elbows as you hugged yourself to try and find some comfort in the cold weather. Part of your brain tried to alert you that you were an idol out in public with no bodyguards, crying and out after 9 p.m. on a Saturday, but your heart and eyes didn’t listen. Your steps had decreased in speed and you were now shuffling along the sidewalk.

Exhaustion wasn’t far behind you. The strength of which you’d been pouring your feelings out had taken a toll on you, and as you hiccuped for the final time, a headache settled in. And after that, reality followed. 

Everyone was probably worried about where you had run off to. Considering you didn’t have a phone, they had no way of reaching you until you decided you wanted to go back to the dorm. Which, honestly, you didn’t have a problem with. While being comforted was always welcome and a majority of the time necessary to truly calm you down, you realized that this moment to yourself was another thing that’d been missing from your life for weeks. Your brain finally had a moment of silence for itself, and as the late January wind blew across your maskless face, the coolness was refreshing. 

Alone time had always been important for you. For your social battery to recover, for you to feel like yourself, and for you to not lose your wits. But in this lifestyle you’d chosen, it was rare for you to be left by yourself. Your members often understood that you needed a second to breathe to function properly, but for the past week, you’d been so busy trying to give your attention back to them that you’d been ignoring your own needs.

If only you’d recognized that, maybe you wouldn’t have forgotten about your date with Sunghoon. Or you could’ve realized how everyone else was feeling. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a metal bench, devoid of any people. Your feet were tired as you brought yourself over to the seat and plopped down, muscles relaxing instantly at the chance for rest. The fresh air was doing wonders for you too. Focus was seeping back into your head and with each inhale and exhale, your headache began to dissipate. Gently, you closed your eyes, not even bothering to worry about if anyone saw you. A freshly debuted idol who already had a decent amount of fame, with dried tears on her cheeks sitting in the middle of a random strip of stores.

Naturally, after you’d taken yet another moment to cool off and regather your emotions, the first thing you thought about was Sunghoon. 

Making up with him was the first thing you needed to do when you got back. Apologize for the mistake you’d made and hope that he would forgive you before you both went to bed angry at each other, which was something your mother had warned you to never do in a relationship. You knew that he was an understanding person who was truly sensitive deep down. Especially when it came to people he loved. Sunghoon’s first impulse was to protect. And that applied to both those he cared about and himself. 

His lashing out at you was just one of his ingrained reactions to defend himself from hurt. And you hated that you had made him feel that way. You’d hurt him. 

You also knew that you both were very mature people. After all, you had to be considering the industry you were in. Talking to him was often all he asked for. He didn’t need gifts or ornate gestures as an apology, just a way to speak about things so you both could understand what had happened and how to properly deal with it in the future. 

This pondering had strangely made you feel a bit better. A small lightness in your chest made you feel hopeful that this would all be nothing but a story to laugh at within the next few days. Or probably weeks. This first fight was something you needed to be careful with until both you and Sunghoon had wholly moved on from it.

You had no idea how long you’d been gone, but you didn’t want to head back anytime soon. Nervousness or anxiety about seeing your boyfriend again wasn’t what kept you perched on the chilly iron of the bench. Rather, the opportunity for you to reconnect with yourself and be at peace– 

“YN!”

That would’ve never lasted that long considering how you might as well have just run away.

“YN,” Jay repeated as the sound of his voice got closer. He sounded out of breath. Slowly, you opened your eyes back up. 

Puffs of air left his mouth in clouds of steam, thanks to the below-freezing weather, and he had to take a moment to presumably calm his racing heart before he was in your personal space. His arms gripped you tightly, fingers digging into the skin of your waist as he buried his face in your neck. The angle was awkward, considering how he was bent over strangely to embrace your sitting figure, but he ignored the slight stiffness that came with it to hold you. To relieve himself that you were there and you were okay.

The best you could do with your arms pinned to your sides was clumsily pat his right hip. 

When he pulled away, hands shifting to grip your biceps almost painfully, the worry in his deep brown eyes had become something more displeased. You were already predicting what scolding would leave him.

“What were you thinking?!” You simply blinked at him, vision flicking around his face, taking in his pink cheeks and slightly runny nose and irises filled with intenseness. Your lack of response only spurred him on further, “Leaving without saying where you were going, without any of us for protection, without saying if you’re okay–”

“I’m fine.”

“God, you have everyone worried sick! Jungwon-ie had to call Sejin-hyung and now, everyone’s out looking for you… You have to be more careful, you could’ve gotten mobbed or– or kidnapped or even killed!–”

“You sound like my father,” you pouted. He huffed out what must’ve been a fake laugh as he turned his head to the side for a split second before taking the spot next to you on the bench. “And I don’t think anyone is trying to kill me.”

Jay looked back at your face, “I want to kill you right now.” He pulled you into his side, tugging your head to the space between his neck and shoulder. “Don’t do that again or we’re gonna have to lock you up or something.”

His bad joke drew a small giggle out of you. You felt his tautness lessen at the sensation. 

“I’m serious, YN,” he said and his tone reflected his words almost a little too perfectly. “We heard you fight with Sunghoon and you were clearly upset–”

“I’m fine,” you repeated, fighting against his hold as you tilted your head back to look at his face. “I just couldn’t stay in that house.”

He frowned. “You could’ve talked to us though,” he said, and the hurt he spoke with made your heart clench for the millionth time that night with contrition. “You can trust us with anything. The last thing I want you to do is feel uncomfortable around me.”

You decided to ignore the change of subjects. 

“I don’t want to sound selfish, but I really couldn’t.” You sighed, weight releasing from your shoulders as you cuddled back into Jay’s side. His chin rested on your hair. “Not when you guys were what we fought about.”

A beat of silence. You were really getting tired of that.

“Sunghoon-ie’s a wreck,” Jay finally said.

You didn’t know what to say, “I am too.” At some point, your breathing pace had synced with his and you enjoyed the sensation of being so connected to someone. “I hate fighting with him more than anything, it's just– I don’t know, it just feels so wrong… Does that make sense?”

Jay nodded against the top of your head. 

“I know the feeling.”

You hesitated before continuing, “Hoon said something…” You trailed off and Jay repositioned himself again, leaning the two of you further back on the bench. “Never mind.”

“What?” he pushed. 

“He said something about you liking me.” And with that, the pressure of agitation grew in the body against you once more. Cautiously, you drew yourself away from Jay. He didn’t fight you.

Jay’s face was stoic and you struggled to read whatever emotion he was experiencing. “When I told you you didn’t have anything to worry about, I meant it,” he said plainly. Your nose wrinkled and your eyebrows drew together. 

“What?–” But Jay was pulling out his phone, dialing what you assumed to be your manager and therefore, a car to take you both back to the dorm. You didn’t stop him, tired of the night you’d had and the wide range of emotions you’d been put through. 

In mere seconds a black SUV pulled up in the street beside you. Jay got up first, offering you a hand and you took it, him helping you off the seat and over to the vehicle. He opened the door for you, and you muttered a small “Thanks” as you clambered inside.

The cushioned seat was welcome after sitting on the hard material of the bench for so long, but the way that no one said anything in the short ride back to the house wasn’t. That alone time and silence that you’d longed for earlier was now making you twitch with discomfort. Where was the Jay that joked with you? The one that made you feel so much like yourself? In the pale moonlight that shined in through the car windows, he looked princely despite the dark circles under his eyes and ruffled hair. He didn’t move his eyes from watching the scenery pass by outside and you concluded that he was in deep thought about something.

As the car pulled into the driveway, your manager in the front seat gave you one final warning about leaving the house unsupervised and left the conversation with a good night. You said nothing. Opening the car door with more strength than you probably should’ve you hoped out and slammed it behind you, not waiting for Jay as you stomped up to the front door. You weren’t sure when your anger had returned, but you took it out on the keypad of the dorm, Jay coming to watch you mess up the code twice due to your annoyance which only shortened your self-restraint. After the second time, he reached around you to enter the four numbers and opened the entry for you. 

Six other bodies rushed to you when you walked past the threshold and your hands shot up to try and block your body from the impending embrace. The last thing you wanted at that moment was to be touched by more than one pair of hands. Thankfully, Jay came to your rescue for one last time that night.

“Give her some space,” he said, shooing Jungwon away from your left side. “Let her go see Sunghoon-ie.” The whisper was meant for just Heeseung, who’d been the one standing closest to the hallway that contained all of the bedrooms. 

The eldest nodded. “He’s in your room,” Heeseung said.

“Thank you,” you offered delicately. “Good night.”

“Night.” He shuffled to the side and you walked past them without a second thought, the only thing on your mind being your boyfriend.

The sharpness of their gaze on your back prickled your nerves as you reached for the doorknob. Composure was something that lacked as you creaked the door open just enough for you to slip through, shutting it behind you swiftly. 

Sunghoon was curled up on your bed, facing the wall and with the way his shoulders were heaving, you could tell he was crying. He looked like a small child. It made your heart ache. 

You toed out of your shoes, having forgotten to take them off at the front door and softly, you tip-toed over to the bed. 

“Hi, Hoon,” you said as gently as possible, sliding your right hand over his arm as you used the other to set yourself down on the small space left on the mattress. 

His head snapped to look at you and to your confirmation, his eyes were red, tears still brimming on his waterline. 

“YN-ie…” Your other hand found the side of his head as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. His bottom lip quivered, “I’m sorry.” And then it was his turn to sob as he pushed his head against your stomach. Sunghoon echoed the words again. Then again. Then again, like a mantra. All you could do was curl over him, pressing your lips against the back of his neck and whisper reassurances against his skin. 

“Breathe, Hoon,” you said, trying to get him to settle down. “Breathe with me. Please.” And then you were breathing in slowly, counting to four, and then exhaling in the same way. On your fourth deep breath, your palm on his back rose in time with your own lungs. Eventually, his whimpers stopped.

Your crewneck was wet now, but you didn’t care. Having him here with you, in your arms again as you comforted him was the only thing you could concentrate on. 

“I thought you weren’t gonna come back,” Sunghoon finally said. 

You cooed a bit at his words, “Nothing would stop me from coming back to you.”

His eyes peeked up at you from his place on your lap. And then in a blink, his forehead was against yours, his hands pulling you closer to his upright body, chest against chest. Sunghoon opened his mouth, getting ready to apologize. You kissed him before he could.

You were desperate as you both continued to pull each other as close as physically possible, tongues intertwining as a way of saying: “I’m here”. As much as you wanted to keep kissing him, there was no way you two could make up correctly if you did so. You pulled away to look at his puffy face, eyes and all. Your thumbs stroked the area under his lashes, wiping off the tears.

“Don’t you dare apologize.”

“I want to, though,” he said quickly. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you or– or said any of those words because I didn’t mean them and they didn’t help anything–”

“I forgive you,” you interjected. “I’m at fault too. I’m sorry that I didn’t notice how you were feeling, and I’m sorry that I forgot our date.” You both exchanged a weak laugh. “I didn’t mean to ignore you and I promise and I swear and I vow, cross my heart, all of it… That I won’t do it again.”

“I highly doubt that,” Sunghoon protested, but he was smiling softly. You adopted the same expression. “But I know that you’re going to do everything in your power to try and not to.”

You nodded furiously, “You’re going to get sick of me asking if you’ve gotten enough attention.”

He chuckled, “I’m sorry if I’ve been keeping you from spending time with the others. And I’m sorry that I made you feel bad about it.”

“We’re both trying to figure out relationships,” you said. “And how to balance them with our friendships… But we’re gonna work it out together.” Sunghoon stared at you intently, his whole attention on you as you spoke. “We aren’t done talking about this, but I am not mad at you.”

He cut you off, “I love you.” That last piece of concern in your emotions eased.

“I love you.”

The next morning you and Sunghoon had spent quite a bit of time talking everything through. Him sharing his worries about his possessiveness and how to get better with it and you sharing how his words did hurt you, but understanding his point of view and how you weren’t completely innocent in the situation. By the time the group was ready to leave for Enhypen’s schedules for the day, you and Sunghoon had successfully made up from your first fight, and the rest of the members (apart from Jay) had given you a small scolding on how much you’d scared them the previous night.

The rest of the day was easy. Finally, you’d regained your attentiveness to the group’s preparation for both the last of the award show performances as well as already the next upcoming mini album. You’d felt like yourself again as you laughed with Sangmi and Riki during your dance practices and gladly took the spot next to Sunghoon during the meeting you’d had that day to discuss future content. It was the recurring theme for the week, you finding yourself again, but it was welcome. Strangely enough, you hadn’t even realized that you’d become the persona of “Just Sunghoon’s Girlfriend”. Fitting that side of you while maintaining all of your own hobbies and relationships was something you could now feel yourself getting better at. And it only made you more and more joyful. 

Sunghoon was happier as well. It was easy to tell with how he was reaching for time with the others now, and with his growing ability to share his troubles with you. Despite the changes in your relationship with him, for the better, many of your old habits stayed. You both still went on multiple dates a week (at least one of them being at a café), spent the nights together, slept on each other during car rides… the list went on. So it wasn’t abnormal for the members to find you both curled around each other on the couch when your list of to-dos for the day had been completed.

You were relaxed into Sunghoon’s side, legs thrown over his lap and talking his ear off about some cartoon you used to watch when you were little that he’d never heard of when Jay came into the living room. 

“YN-ie,” he said, interrupting your chattering and causing both you and your boyfriend to look over in his direction. Jay was standing next to the front door, parka on and a black beanie hiding the majority of his still bleach-blond hair. “D’you still wanna learn how to cook?”

You nudged Sunghoon’s head with your own and peered over at him. He was still smiling, not a hint of discomfort on his face as he bumped your head back. 

“Go,” he whispered to you. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Jay-hyung, you're doing me a favor,” Sunghoon suddenly spoke up. “Maybe by the time you’re back she’ll be tired of talking about Gravity Falls.”

You gasped and smacked Sunghoon’s chest lightly, “I’d never get tired of talking about Gravity Falls.” 

He grabbed the hand that had just hit him and stuck his tongue out at you. You used your free hand to try and swat at his face but he just barely dodged you, swiftly taking hold of your right hand too. Sunghoon puckered his lips at you, “Kiss.”

“No please?”

“Please?–”

“Oh my god, get a room,” Jay said from his spot by the entryway. At his words, you leaned over and gave Sunghoon a quick peck before you were clambering off his lap, Sunghoon yelling out in faux pain as you did so. 

“Is the car already here?” you asked as you approached Jay, him already holding a coat open for you to put on. 

You turned so your back was facing him, and he helped you pull on the outerwear. “Yeah, so say your goodbyes.”

“Does this cooking involve me never seeing anyone again?” you joked, tugging your hair free from the space between the coat and your neck. Both of the boys laughed. 

“Depends on how long it takes us to get these groceries,” Jay responded, opening the door for you as you pulled on your shoes. 

You sighed, “Okay, okay. Bye, Hoon! Love you!”

The phrase was repeated back to you as you and Jay exited the dorms. The ride to the store market Jay had picked out was shorter than you thought it’d be and before the two of you could get too deep into your conversation, he was already helping you out of the car and starting along the vendors, bodyguard following closely behind the two of you. 

“What are we making?” you questioned after passing by a vendor that was making Odeng for a couple that was wearing matching jackets. The sight made you wonder if that’s what you and Jay looked like–a couple.

He interrupted your thoughts, “Atlang.” You furrowed your eyebrows as your mouth dropped open a bit.

“Fish egg soup?”

“Don’t give me that look,” he said, barely moving his eyes to look at you. “You’re acting like you don’t breathe and sleep sushi.”

He had a point there.

“So I’m guessing we’re here for the fish eggs,” you continued.

“The myeongnan–” you rolled your eyes a little at his fancy terms, “and the gochujang paste. We have the vegetables and spices at home–”

“On your left!”

You were in Jay’s arms before you could process something whirring past you in a blur. His jacket was plush and cold between your fingers as you gripped onto him tightly and you were grateful that you hadn’t tripped over your own feet and taken you both down to the cement. A dryness caught in your throat when you recognized how close Jay’s face was to yours. Your brain felt empty as you stared at his warm brown eyes that seemed strong and ever-growing–his attention focused on the scooter that had almost just run you over. 

That sudden adrenaline that always came after a close call never appeared in your veins, though. Because the only thing you could sense as you pulled him closer, hanging on tight and taking in the woody perfume that he’d been using lately, was calmness. Centered. Security. Surprise, at the fact that you were feeling these things. 

“Idiot. Who rides a scooter in the middle of a marketplace?– God…” And then he was looking at you and that calmness was replaced with a rush of dopamine and the adrenaline you’d been waiting for. “Are you okay?”

Your tongue barely darted out to wet your lips as you stared at his own. 

“Mhm,” you softly hummed and you were back on your feet before you could finish the sentence and process what was happening. 

“Good, let’s go.”

What? At his change in attitude, you felt out of breath. Nonetheless, you followed him. 

The rest of the shopping trip flew by. As the two (three, bodyguard– duh) of you strolled along the stands and vendors, searching for what you needed, you couldn’t help but get distracted by some of the items. A necklace that you didn’t have the money with you to buy, a scarf that you would’ve loved to give your sister for Christmas, and some delicious-looking tteokbokki that Jay wouldn't let you get.

“You’ll ruin your dinner!”

“Please! I’m starving.”

“That’ll make this meal that much better!” 

Begrudgingly, you’d given up on the street food and thankfully, not much longer after that, you’d found the last thing you were looking for. With the staff that’d come with you holding the bags, you whispered to Jay about how your feet hurt.

He squatted down almost instantly. Grinning widely, you’d climbed onto his back, wrapping your arms around his neck. But then his hands curled around the backs of your thighs and it was all you could think about. For the walk back to the car, his fingers digging into your skin and making you feel warm. In an attempt to hide your heated face, you hid it in his neck and somehow, Jay didn’t complain about how your breath tickled his skin. 

Your mouth was so close to him. You wondered if he tasted as good as he smelled. If he would like it if you kissed that birthmark that was just under his jaw. That mark was so adorable–

Once again, your feet were being placed back on the pavement without you noticing it. Your hands moved slowly away from Jay’s neck, down his back a bit and then they were retracted immediately after you processed how inappropriate it was for you to be touching him like that. Especially when you had a boyfriend. Jay didn’t seem like he cared though, and if he did, he didn’t say anything. 

He still opened the car door for you, helped you in, and made you laugh on the car ride back. Easing the thoughts you had of whether he saw how you’d been acting or not. It was almost happening unconsciously, the thoughts and longings that you usually only had with Sunghoon. And the guilt you felt about it was heavy, considering how Sunghoon had shown how bothered he was about you acting like a girlfriend to the other members. To your shared friends. 

Everyone had apparently headed off to their respective rooms by the time you and Jay re-entered the dorms. Night had barely fallen so you figured that they were all taking a moment for themselves before you and Jay called them out for dinner. After removing your outerwear, Jay and you headed into the kitchen, him carrying the groceries as you slid along the tile in your fuzzy socks.

“Haul time!” you cheered, jumping around the edge of the island so you were on the side that was with the stove. 

Jay chuckled, “First…” he took something out of the bag. “The gochujang paste!” You let out a small ‘yay’ as you took the container out of his hands, placing it on the counter. “And lastly…” he revealed the package of myeongnan!”

“Whoo!”

“‘Whoo’ is absolutely right,” he said as he joined you on your side of the room, opening the fridge to store the marinated pollack roe. “Everyone should be grateful that we’re making them such a high-quality meal tonight.”

“Maybe I’ll just watch you make it.”

Jokingly, you moved away from him, hands gliding behind you on the cool surface of the island. As expected, Jay’s fingers circled your wrists before you could get too far and you were being pulled back to him.

“Nice try,” he laughed and you frowned. “You’re a big girl and you can help me make dinner.”

Well, you weren’t going to argue with that. Especially when his voice sounded a bit deeper than it usually did. 

Nervously, you separated your touch from his to tuck some of your hair behind your ear. “Fair enough. What do we start with?”

“Washing your hands,” Jay said, tilting his head back towards the sink as he moved to rummage through the cupboards for the utensils you’d be needing. 

You nodded, “Makes sense.” 

The hot water was borderline scalding on your hands, but at that point, you were willing to try anything to remove the electricity that Jay left behind on your skin.

Cooking when you were doing it right, and with someone who you enjoyed spending time with, was surprisingly easy. You had thought that it would require more precision, exact measurements and stirs and timeframes, but Jay made everything look so natural. He told you that almost everything could be done with your instincts and a little bit of guidance from the recipe and he was absolutely right. It was effortless to relax after you gained a bit more confidence in your movements and the jokes and conversation flowed as a harmony with the quiet background music Jay had turned on at some point.

Everything was done cooking sooner than you’d thought it’d be and you were almost disappointed that your time alone with the older male was almost up for the night. Trying not to dwell on the collapse of contentedness, you continued slowly chopping up the last of the vegetables that would go with the altang. 

“Ah,” Jay said from behind you and you looked over your shoulder to see him approaching you. “That was the other thing I wanted to fix.”

“What part of me are you trying to fix?” You laughed.

He smiled as he shifted so he was standing directly behind you, “Your cutting skills.”

The hardness of his chest pressed against your back and your nerves seized and you dropped the knife onto the cutting board at the sudden closeness. Frozen was the only way to describe your movements as Jay silently reached his arm across your body, one hand delicately taking hold of your right hand to turn it over while the other retrieved the knife. Only his soft breathing was against your ears as he placed the handle back into your grasp, his fingers arranging your own to hold the blade in a certain way. 

The rise and fall of your lungs slowed. You felt dizzy, like his nose brushing against the shell of your ear as he peered over your smaller frame was putting some kind of spell on you. Focusing on the task at hand felt impossible as he somehow got even closer, arms practically wrapped around you while he adjusted your other hand. His fingers looked so large compared to your own and the sight of him effortlessly bending your knuckles so you wouldn’t cut your fingertips off only intensified that dizziness.

Maybe this was too inappropriate for a girl who already had a boyfriend but at that moment you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Your love for Sunghoon was so strong and you thought that there was no possible way it could’ve been matched, but there was something else growing in your heart that made those conclusions falter. 

Jay had always been there for you, had always been the one to take care of you, and was the one noticing the things that no one else did. You’d always appreciated him, been grateful for the way he treated you like a princess, but you couldn’t help but recall recent times when he’d been a bit too assertive over others when it came to you. Him calling off the other boys when you ran out of water during practice, saying you would share with him. Him sending a glare to anyone who’d enter the beauty room while you were getting ready with him being the one keeping you company. Him indirectly trying to get you to spend less time with Sunghoon and more with the other members. Including Jay himself. Little things, but now, in this intimate position you couldn’t help but think they had a different meaning. 

Overwhelmed, you set the knife down, Jay loosening his grip on you to let you do so safely. 

“Jay…” Your whisper could barely be heard over the hushed music, but he still hummed after you said his name. Hip brushing against his, you carefully turned around. Jay’s hands didn’t move from around you, his hands resting on the edge of the counter. You were caged in against him. 

His eyes were so pretty. You couldn’t read the look in them, your brain too cloudy and his intense stare almost made it impossible to maintain eye contact. But you might as well have been hypnotized. The brown of irises was so warm that you could only think of chocolate and how badly you wanted to drown in them.

You weren’t sure who kissed who first. 

Jay could’ve leaned down or you could’ve risen on your toes but it didn’t matter because his lips were finally moving against your own. 

It didn’t take long for his mouth to crash against yours and you think you might’ve whimpered as his tongue found its way between your lips. Subconsciously, her hands roamed under the hem of his shirt, discovering the firm muscles of his lower back as his tongue explored your mouth. It was a kiss that was meant for lovers behind locked doors, not in a dimly lit kitchen where anyone could walk in. Jay deepened the kiss even more, which you didn’t think was possible, and only then did you realize what you were doing. 

Your hands that had been lovingly holding him to you were abruptly pulling him away from you, knowing that now he should be as far away from you as possible. Jay stumbled back at the tugging against his white t-shirt, hitting the edge of the stove and causing the pans placed on the border to clatter back towards the middle. 

“Sorry! I’m sorry!” you gasped, hand shooting up to your mouth. 

Jay shook his head, “No, it’s okay. I’m okay. Are you alright–”

Now your own head was moving side to side hard enough to cause a dull pain behind your skull. A tear fell despite you not even realizing that they had begun to well up. 

The guilt that was creeping up inside of you made you feel physically ill, unlike anything you’d ever experienced before. You felt horrible, you were horrible. You were a horrible girlfriend. God, how could you keep making mistakes like this when Sunghoon…

“Sunghoon…” you sobbed, hand against your mouth shaking as you processed what you’d just done. Jay was instantly back at your side. 

Softly, he took your hand in his and moved it away from your face, holding it in his. “Shh– shh… I’m sorry, I’m sorry. We can talk to him and explain–”

“Explain what?” you cried in a manner that was perhaps a bit too loud. “That I– I– cheated on him?” You couldn’t get enough air in your chest. You were going to puke. There was a steady thumping under your palm. 

Jay lifted your hand to his chest, letting it rest on his heart and feel the slower pace at which he was breathing. “You need to breathe, YN, you’re having a panic attack.” 

Closing your eyes, you let a trembling breath escape your lips. And as Jay’s chest rose, you took a deep breath and exhaled as he did so. Repeating the process was easy, but opening your eyes to Jay’s saddened face made your heartbreak and guilt build up all over again.

“I–”

“You guys okay? Thought I heard something break,” Heeseung said from the doorway. Neither of you said anything, Jay just kept looking at you as you turned your vision to the floor. 

Clenching your fist tightly, you let the pain of your fingernails digging into your skin distract you from the pain in your heart and you cleared your throat. “Yeah, we’re fine. Dinner’s ready.”

You pushed away from Jay, wiping the water from your cheeks. Keeping your head down, you brushed past Heeseung, beelining for the bathroom you used most often since you figured that was the only place where no one would question why you were crying. You burst into the room quickly, shutting the door behind you as quietly as possible.

And for the next hour, you laid on the bathroom floor, the coolness of the tile on your face keeping you present. Keeping you thinking about how you hated yourself for kissing Jay. Hated yourself for liking it and loving him.

All of the progress you’d made in your relationship with Sunghoon had been ruined in under five minutes. All of the self-love that was beginning to return to you had been ripped away the moment you’d decided to kiss Jay back. And if the avoiding you’d done with Sunghoon before you both got together was bad, the way you were avoiding Jay was borderline criminal. You’d thrown yourself fully into your relationship with Sunghoon, making up your mind about how if you gave him more love it would cancel out the tiny mistake you’d made. The huge mistake you’d made. 

It had only been two days, but the time that’d passed felt like an eternity. There was no way you’d be able to keep your actions with Jay a secret for much longer. You told Sunghoon everything. He was your best friend, your person, and you rarely kept things from him. Usually when you messed up, you and he would be able to open up and share how you were feeling and how to make it better. But you knew that if he ever found out about this, he would never forgive you. It was wrong to keep something like this from him, but you didn’t want to lose him. 

But you didn’t want to lose Jay in the process either. 

And that was exactly what was happening. You liked to think that you took your time to process things and think your options through when really, you would put decisions off to avoid the consequences of them. Ignoring Jay almost every time he tried to speak with you and never allowing yourself to be alone in a room with him was hurting him. You could tell that much. With the way the shine that was in his eyes when he would see you would dim when you would pretend like you didn’t hear him. The way you’d stop coming to him for help with things. You knew you were making him feel unneeded and unwanted, but you couldn’t dare pick between the two boys.

Because you were in love with both of them.

The thought still didn’t seem morally correct to you, you weren’t sure if it would ever feel socially acceptable either, but it was true. Your coming to terms with your feelings for Jay were much different than your experience with the ones for Sunghoon. You weren’t able to embrace them fully in fear that both boys would leave you if you played your cards wrong or said something that would set them both off. And it didn’t help that they both had possessive tendencies. 

So you turned to Sangmi, one of the only people you could trust with this information. 

“You like both of them?” she’d asked, removing the sheet mask that you’d both been doing in the soft lighting of your guys’ room. 

You nodded, “Love. I think I love both of them.”

She pursed her lips and puffed her cheeks out, focused on folding her mask. After a moment, she’d thrown it into the trash can, almost missing so the skincare hung over one of the sides of the gray plastic. 

“I don’t know what to tell you, babe. I can’t say I’ve ever been in that position–”

“Just tell me what you would do.”

“But I can’t,” she had sighed. “Because we’re each our own person. Just because I would do something one way doesn’t mean you should do it as well.”

You whined and slumped over onto her lap. In a comforting manner, she threaded her fingers through your hair, scratching her nails lightly over your scalp. “I’m stuck! I don’t think I would be able to live without either of them…”

“First of all, you definitely would–” Your groan of annoyance cut her off and she giggled. “Second of all, from what you’ve told me, they love you too.” Her voice had gotten quiet. You straightened your spine back to an upright position and locked eyes with your best friend. 

“You think so?”

Sangmi had hummed in agreement, “Talk with them. If they love you as much as you love them, then they would be willing to do anything to be with you. To make you happy.”

“Even sharing,” you sighed as you flipped around and rested back down on her folded legs. “That’s so much to ask of a man, though. One can’t even stay loyal to one girl most of the time.” Your hands flopped to your side. “How am I supposed to ask for so much from them? One girl and two guys? No way that could ever last.”

“Not with that mindset,” Sangmi laughed. Her face grew pensive and while you waited for her to continue, you stared at the white ceiling. “I think that you’ve always made love out to be trickier than it actually is–”

“But sometimes–”

“Sometimes there are exceptions, and this whole kiss thing with Jay-oppa might be one of them, but YN-ie–let yourself go for once.”

You looked down at your hands, folded over your chest, rising and falling as you breathed. 

“I just feel like every time I do that I mess up.”

“You’re human. Humans mess up all the time but you’re never going to get anywhere if you don’t take a risk.”

You bit your lip, “Maybe you’re right.”

Sangmi shrugged, “I tend to be.”

“Or maybe you’re just feeding my delusions– Hey!” You squealed as she threw one of her pillows at your face. 

“I’m never giving you advice again,” she said, sounding like a stressed mother. You giggled. 

And now, swallowing your pride, your feet padded against the smooth tile of the living room as you approached Sunghoon after claiming that you were going to use the bathroom. When really, you’d spent a good four minutes in the space mentally preparing yourself for this difficult conversation. 

“Hey,” you said, a smile on your face as you found your spot right next to him on the couch again. 

Sunghoon turned off his phone, watching you approach him with his own dazed expression. “Hi. How was the bathroom?”

“As awesome as ever.” You sounded nervous. Nervous was an understatement. You were pretty sure you were shaking. “Um… I actually needed to talk to you about something that’s been– um, bothering me for a couple of days.”

Sunghoon’s eyebrows knitted together and he nodded slowly, “Yeah, what is it?”

“So…” you started, shifting onto your knees so you were closer to eye-level with him. “I’m not really sure how to say this but um… the other night, when Jay-oppa and I were cooking we… um…”

Sunghoon tilted his head to the side, narrowing his eyes a bit at you. “You what?”

“We kissed,” Jay said from the doorway, entering the conversation just like he did the night Sunghoon and you were speaking of. 

Afraid, you glanced back at Jay, who looked angry, then at Sunghoon, whose face was blank. Your heart dropped. Their reactions were exactly the opposite of what you’d been hoping for. But they were exactly what you’d been expecting. 

You waited for one of them to yell at you. To call you a horrible name and say you were disgusting. For Sunghoon to break up with you, for Jay to say he regretted ever kissing you, but neither of them said anything. And that only scared you more, but you had no idea what to say.

Finally, Sunghoon clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, and his eyes zoned in on Jay. Then he was standing up and your vision followed him, uncertain of what he was going to do. 

“God, man, what do I have to do to get you to back the fuck off from my girlfriend?” He laughed bitterly and you felt frozen once again, just like you do in every conflicting situation. 

Jay scoffed, eyes shooting back and forth between you and Sunghoon, “She kissed me back. And you know, I think she liked it.” The last part was a whisper and you couldn’t help but let your gaze fall to the floor as both boys let the sight of you looking pitiful on the couch be the center of their attention. 

Embarrassed, you nodded. 

“Well, then what do we do?” Sunghoon said, his anger creeping into his tone. “Because you’re clearly trying to ruin my relationship with her–”

“YN’s not completely innocent in this either!”

“I’m right here!” you yelled, fed up with how neither you nor Jay were refusing to take responsibility for the situation and for how Sunghoon wasn’t accepting that you cheated on him. “And if anything, this whole thing is my fault. Not yours.” You looked at Sunghoon as you also stood up, pushing away from the couch. “Or yours,” you said, eyeing Jay. 

You blinked back tears, trying to remain strong.

“Because– because I’m in love with you both. And I feel disgusting saying it because you both deserve someone that will love you both how you deserve and–” Sunghoon’s arms were around you before you could finish your sentence. The only words you could repeat were “I’m sorry” as Sunghoon soothingly hushed you, hand resting at the back of your neck as he held you close to his chest. 

You felt another pair of hands travel around your sides as Jay wrapped around you both, effectively surrounding you from every free space. Sunghoon’s cheek fell onto your head and Jay’s chin ended up on your left shoulder. Their scents, the warmth of their skin, and the feeling of their heartbeats was enough to ground you again and you found yourself calming down as you weakly encircled Sunghoon’s middle with your arms.

“Okay, I’m okay,” you said, getting a bit overwhelmed with the tightness you were enveloped in. Both of the boys backed away hesitatingly, and you took a spot on the couch again. Sunghoon followed suit quickly as Jay stood next to your side in front of the furniture. 

“Sunghoon-ah, I’m not trying to destroy your relationship with YN-ie,” Jay confessed. “You’re important to her and… and you’re important to me too.” 

With a confirming nod, Sunghoon accepted the elder’s words. 

“I’m in love with her too,” Jay added and his words made your heart practically stop. Your eyes felt a bit too wide to be normal and he stared down at you with a small smile on his lips. “And I want what’s best for her and clearly, that’s you.”

“We shouldn’t have kissed, Hoon,” you joined in, turning to face your boyfriend. His elbows were resting on his knees as he took in what Jay and you had to say. “And I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, and apologizing for not telling you about it right away, and I’m sorry I didn’t say that I was falling in love with Jay sooner because– I love you so so much.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Sunghoon admitted after you finished speaking. “I don’t think I’m really that mad, actually just more sad that you felt like you couldn’t tell me.”

Reaching for his left hand, you carefully took it into your own. “You mean so much to me, Hoon. I didn’t want to hurt you–”

“It does hurt,” he said and your bottom lip trembled a bit. “You aren’t forgiven yet, but I’m not going to break up with you.”

Hope lit through you, you could practically feel it seeping out of your pores. “Really?”

“I love you,” he said simply. “And I know you love me. But I know that you love Jay too–”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” you said, squeezing his hand tightly. “I’ll do whatever makes both of you happy.” Glancing back and forth between them, you continued, “If that’s not being with either of you, so be it–”

“Absolutely not,” Jay laughed. “Do you know how hard Hoon here had to work to get you to date him?”

Sunghoon sighed, “That’s not the point.” You stifle a giggle at the irritated look he sent Jay. “Let me finish. It’s going to take a lot of work, for me and Jay-hyung, but I’m okay with… I don’t wanna say sharing, that sounds wrong, but, if being with both of us is what you want…” he cocked his head to the side, eyes swimming with a varied mix of emotions. “Then I’m okay with it.”

“So what… You’re suggesting I date both of you?” you asked, eyebrows furrowing. Peering over your shoulder, you locked eyes with Jay, who also looked like he was in deep thought. “If you want to, Jay-oppa.”

A few seconds passed before Jay answered, “We’ll have to take things super slow. And Sunghoon-ie and I are gonna have to figure out how to get over our jealousy, but yeah. Let’s do it.”

You didn’t even try to hide how overjoyed you were, a grin proudly present on your face as you practically jumped on Sunghoon, peppering kisses all over his face. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I love you so so so so so–”

“Okay– okay! Calm down, princess, I love you too,” he chuckled. You pulled away, gazing sweetly at his eyes before leaning in to kiss him. Nothing deep, just a long peck on the lips before you withdrew from Sunghoon and turned to Jay. 

“C’mere,” you said, reaching for him. He complied, smirking a bit as you tugged his face to yours, giving Jay his own peck on the lips. “I love you.”

Jay gave you a peck on your cheek, “I love you.”

“Okay, that’s enough for now,” Sunghoon said. His hands drew you back to his chest and tucking your head under his chin protectively. 

“I don’t get to join in on the cuddles?”

“No. Just me. Remember you guys need to make it up to me for kissing before we agreed on… whatever this is.” Sunghoon’s hair was silk-like between your fingers as you twisted your arm up so you could play with his locks. 

Laughing, you patted the spot next to you on the couch. “You can sit next to us, Jay. I’ll play with your hair too if you want me to.”

Jay seemed to brighten again. He was leading your hand to his head as he laid down on the cushions, head falling on your lap. Sunghoon complained a bit, but after a few kisses, he finally settled in. 

You knew you all had a lot of work to do, but with both of them laughing and being there with you, that feeling of fullness–of being complete, you’d been searching for for so long returned. Permanently. Happiness would be easier every day as long as you had both of your boys by your side, just like this.

마리셀의 노트 , thanks to miss lana del rey for giving me the motivation to finish this😓 I’ll try to be faster with writing in the future but I am in school so that’s my first priority!🌷🩷 please don’t be afraid to ask me stuff / interact with me! and thank you for all of the support🥰💕💋

[all4aoki]

  ⊹ 𝓕INALLY ˒ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ 𝓘 𝓓ESPERATELY 𝓒ALL 𝓨OU ⠀Ꮺ ָ࣪ ۰ ִ

EN- & Aoki YN`s relationships in a nutshell . . . enha x f!reader, poly!enha, enha8thmember

©all4aoki, 2024

ꔫ ˖ 이희승 || ⵌ YNHEEZ - SMARTIEZ ?? popularity 76% dating since after Drunk-Dazed era

᱖ You’re literally his baby. One of his favorite joys in the world. That, and you both are so playful and shy that your relationship with him has become one of ENGENEs’ favorite joys as well (sometimes even for the other members too). He always claims that you’re constantly whining for attention and clinging to him at all times when really, he’s the one that’s being babied. (not that you don’t do those things from time to time). Heeseung tends to become more relaxed around you, easing into a comfortable headspace where he knows it’s safe to be himself because his trust in you is unmatched. Sooo he’s just projecting and describing himself ><

That being said, when you’re with him, new sides of the two of you are shown: the quietness of his extrovert and the loudness of your introvert. And when this happens, your guys’ humor is unmatched, and the laughter never stops. Spending time with him alone could probably give you abs in under two weeks. Because while you’re making jokes, he’s dying of laughter which only makes you laugh. Then he makes his little comments and everyone else has to leave you both alone to be in your world. Trust is a big part of your relationship with Heeseung. Considering you’re three years younger than him, he takes it upon himself to protect you from everything bad in the world and make sure you stay as happy as possible. He would never forgive himself if your choice of profession took an unfixable toll on your beautiful personality. You allow yourself to be an escape from the pressures of your guys’ lives. When you both are with each other, you can imagine that you’re just two normal people in love. (I mean, you are, but still).

Affection-wise, Heeseung loves to be touching you at all times. They’re all tame, he’s not a very possessive person, so his PDA isn’t meant to show people that you’re his, but to make sure that you’re there with him. His favorite thing in the world is hugs, carrying you around is a close second, and he loves laying in your lap as well. He’s truly such a sweetheart and he’s so kind. You’re often following him around as well–wherever he is, you’re not that far behind. And he adores how you go to him first, most of the time, when you need help with things.

✶ MORE THOUGHTS

lowkey loser!bf & popular!gf coded, is always wanting to film TikTok challenges with u, his fav stage fits of urs r when u wear red, listened to Lana’s entire discography for u, shares all of his ideas (no matter what they r ) with u first!, u hav the most tour stage interactions with him, wearing his caps / hats whenever u hav to put together an airport fit, playing guitar with him like this :,)

✶ UNITZ

노래방즈 / Karaokez, 위아래즈 / Top to Bottomz

ꔫ ˖ 박종성 || ⵌ JONGYN - BAEBEEZ ?? popularity 63% dating since after Border : Day One era

᱖ Jay was very awkward when you both first met through I-Land. He’d never been in a relationship before and was unsure of the way to approach and treat the girl he liked. Because of this, you were the one to initiate the majority of your guys’ first interactions. But as time went on and he got used to your personality and got to know your likes, he became the one to ask if you both could spend time together and to randomly start conversations. And THEN, when you both started dating, this trait was multiplied by hundreds. If he learned anything from his parents, it was how you should respect and treat a woman. Because of that acknowledgment, it became surprisingly easy for you to open up to him. Out of all the members, he’s probably the one who knows the most about your worries, best moments, worst moments, fears, and hopes. All of it. And in return, he’s opened up to you easily too.

The level of communication between the two of you is unreal as well. Words don’t even have to be exchanged for you to know what he’s thinking, for him to know what you need, etc. You both just got to that point of understanding each other so quickly that the other feels necessary in each other’s lives. When you’re not with each other, it almost feels like you’re missing an arm or a leg… or just overall an essential part of yourself. But he knows you need your space as well, considering you have six other boys in your relationship, so he doesn’t hesitate to give you that either. But, Jay will always be there to check in on you, and you’ll always be there to let him know that if he ever needs anything then you’re the one he should go to. You have a soft spot for Jay too. You’re always giving him compliments and laughing at his jokes awkwardly when no one else is, and simply reassuring him no matter what because you’re both aware of how strongly insecurities affect the other person.

Jay isn’t a huge fan of displaying his affection publicly, but behind closed doors, he’s usually all over you. He’s another one of the members who loves carrying you around (it’s rare for your feet to ever be on the ground at the dorms), he loves it when you just hold onto him like a koala while he’s moving around doing chores or something along those lines. And he’s obsessed with watching you get ready / unready as well. He wants to learn how to do your hair and makeup so badly (never skincare, Sunoo would never speak to him again if he tried to do that), just so someday he can help you with it. He’ll sit next to your vanity as you get ready and ask you questions about the products or what techniques you’re using, and then he’ll kiss you before taking something and studying it even more. Jay loves helping you get dressed too but that’s for another drabble. He’s your safe place, and you’re his.

✶ MORE THOUGHTS

u both being scared of everything, having the weirdest nicknames for each other, listening to TV Girl together, being parents to ur stuffed animals, 9/10 times being in his team for EN O’ CLOCK, so many shopping trips with him, him looking for your reaction after he makes a joke, sharing water bottles during practice

✶ UNITZ

노래방즈 / Karaokez, 위아래즈 / Top to Bottomz

ꔫ ˖ 심재윤 // GWAEYONGIZ - SHIMKI ⵌ !! popularity 80% dating since after Drunk-Dazed era

᱖ If anyone wants to get anything done, they will not put you and Jake together. Because if they do, then one of you will end up on the floor in tears from laughing too hard. His outgoing sense of humor and your random sense of humor is a combination that others love to watch the outcome of. That, and you love teasing him more than anything else. You just find it so easy to point out the weird or unusual things he does that’ll make you both die a little bit (him from faux embarrassment and you from giggles). It’s all fun and games for you until Jake decides to tease back, a common occurrence in your relationship. Because the one thing you can’t handle is his flirtiness. He knows you so well since his initial extrovertedness made you comfortable enough to be yourself around him, and therefore, he knows what makes you tick and hide your face in your hands. So you have to remind yourself that if you take it too far with teasing him, you’re most likely going to get some interesting words whispered in your ear or his nose brushing against yours or his hands running along the expanse of your thighs. Something along those lines.

Jake is the one who pushes you out of your comfort zone the most and the one you often do new things with. You’ve learned a lot with him: how to not care as much about what others think, truly believing that it’s okay to make more mistakes, etc. You’re a pair that has grown with each other and therefore, knows what it takes to strengthen each other’s weaknesses and when it passes the other’s boundaries. And while you both enjoy experimenting with hobbies and new places, you have also created many safe places through your dates. There’s a specific Japanese restaurant that you frequent with him, you willingly go fishing with him (except you set a limit of 4x a month), and even just going to HYBE’s parking garage to mess around on skateboards is enough for you both. When you’re with him, you feel like a little kid again and to say the least, you prefer quality time with Jake to anything else. Also, you guys talk on a different level than some of the others since his first language is English, which is also one of the languages you grew up with. It’s easier to express things and understand each other. So on particularly difficult days it’s become your guys’ nature to sit in one of your rooms or lay together to talk things out.

Jake is one of the 3 members that you get “clingy” with. He’s a huge fan of physical affection (sometimes you’re convinced he needs it to survive), so you’ve become extremely comfortable touching him wherever and whenever. When you laugh with him, 9/10 you’re throwing yourself onto him, you’re almost always giving him back hugs, and it’s rare to see you guys not holding hands. It’s become second nature for you to reach for him to hold his arm, and fans have gotten used to him holding onto your waist at airports or subconsciously grabbing your thighs when you’re sitting next to him. Enhypen’s staff has also had to develop a sixth sense for whenever you’re on his lap or he’s holding your face to pull you in for a kiss. When you guys are together, neither of you are shy, whether that’s physically or socially, because if you could sum up your relationship with him in one word, it would be comfort.

✶ MORE THOUGHTS

shares all of his food with u and vice versa, making fun of each other’s accents, ur layla’s mom and he’s ur cats’ dad, he always goes with u when ur getting ur nails done, ur makeup unnies (lovingly) HATE him cause he’s always leaving bite marks and hickeys that are impossible to cover, quoting the most niche memes with him, you’ve built 10+ lego sets with him, hitting his arms when u get excited

✶ UNITZ

Tinyz, 노래방즈 / Karaokez, 10Yearz, Clingyz

ꔫ ˖ 박성훈 || ⵌ YNHOON - COUPLEZ ?? popularity 93% dating since right after I-LAND

᱖ Real-life representation of soulmates, the red string theory, fate, anything that entails being meant for someone. That’s your relationship with Sunghoon. During I-Land, when you first even saw him, it was love at first sight on both ends. It took a bit for you both to get comfortable around each other and truly let your personalities shine, but once you did, it became clear that you were each other’s person. You would do anything for him and he would do the same for you. You share a connection with him where neither of you need words to express your feelings, and while it may not be as strong as the knowing you have with Jay, it’s still there and impossible to ignore. Sunghoon is a giver, and ever since Enhypen’s debut, you’ve received gifts more often than you ever have before, and you don’t even have to mention something twice for him to be doing it for you. He gets your food, refills your water bottle, brings you your phone charger, ties your shoelaces and takes off your heels, and everything in between. You’re both genuinely happy around each other. That smile of his that only comes out around certain people is on display 24/7 when you’re with him and you feel refreshed and energized when you spend time with him. Which is just truly amazing considering how picky you are about your social battery.

You’re always mirroring whatever he does and repeating what he says almost unconsciously. To say the least, you’ve adopted some of his habits. Without hesitation, you would do almost anything he asks of you, and honestly, your guys’ relationship probably borders on the line of a little bit obsessive. You’re always looking out for each other, your safety is his first priority and his happiness is yours. He’s the kind of person who handles boyfriend duties flawlessly, making sure you aren’t walking on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street, checking in on how you’re feeling at least once a day, and doing little things that show you how important you are to him. And the way you flirt with each other is by being a little bit mean. In a teasing way. He laughs at you when you get mad cause he thinks it’s cute, so he has to apologize twice when you get even more annoyed at “him not taking you seriously” (he does, you’re literally just the most adorable person ever). He does get possessive at times, which usually leads to insecurity, so you praising him and just simply loving on him throughout the day has become a crucial factor in your relationship. A little bit of your reassurance at these times is enough for him, and he’ll go right back to rubbing it in the others’ faces that he got you first.

Surprisingly, Sunghoon can be pretty affectionate in public. But his ways of touching you are a bit more intense in terms that he just kind of moves you around as he pleases (manhandles). He’s always carrying you around bridal style, has an arm slung around your waist, is guiding you around with your arms and there have been some points where out of habit he’s grabbed the back of your neck ㅠㅠ He also really loves playing with your hair, so stylists have to keep him away from you after they finished doing your hair because if they’re not careful he’ll be giving you a scalp massage or twirling a strand around his finger while removing the hairpieces that had just been added so he has more to touch. Sunghoon is a big fan of being held by you too. He’ll gladly admit that he doesn’t mind being the little spoon. Whenever you’re sitting down expect his head to find its way onto your lap. And you let him do whatever, because as long as he’s happy, then you’re happy.

✶ MORE THOUGHTS

rotting in bed together whenever u guys get freetime, matching outfits / picking out each other’s outfits, giggling and blushing whenever u make eye contact with him, taking the most horrendous pictures of each other, u both have promise rings, play fighting and him never letting u win, exchanging (judgy/OMG/‘did u see that?’) glances whenever something happens, his eyes always being on u when watching ehna’s performances

✶ UNITZ

Bermuda Triangle, 10Yearz

ꔫ ˖ 김선우 || ⵌ NOOKIZ - DOUBLEZ ?? popularity 59% dating since after Tamed-Dashed era

᱖ You didn’t really believe in the importance of friendship before dating until you met Sunoo, who is someone who understands that deep connections are important for good relationships. You became close friends with him before your relationship took a romantic turn, and you wouldn’t want it any other way. With the rest of your partners (while you have no complaints about how they came to be your lovers) the friendship stage was skipped a bit since they had always been kind of romantic towards you. Sunoo is one of the exceptions to this. During I-Land, you didn’t spend a lot of time with him until Chamber 5, where you both were quick to bond over the stresses of struggling health-wise and the thoughts of not debuting. Both then and now it’s easy for you to relate to each other, and it’s effortless when you’re sharing your feelings and thoughts. Sunoo is the kind of person who the majority of the time hates putting strict restraints on his life so when he felt an attraction towards you starting to grow, he simply accepted it and began turning even more of his attention to you. Sunoo and you have a lot in common and you both already spent most of your time together, so it was difficult to pick up on his feelings at first.

But once he joined the relationship, his affections became much more clear (and obvious, cause when it comes to your boys you tend to be a little blind). He’s big on quality time and words of affirmation, so you make sure to be with him for long periods when you’re able to: he likes doing skincare together, doing random quizzes, playing video games, etc. And you’re always there to praise him and give him even more confidence. Sunoo’s comfortable with his femininity, which does wonders for your guys’ relationship. He’s never embarrassed to do anything with you that other guys might consider “girly”, it’s rare for him to feel threatened by others, and he’s always keeping in mind things you don’t like. You don’t like deciding where to eat? That’s fine, he can do it this time. One of the members is struggling to get a gift for you? They’ll go to Sunoo first. He makes sure whoever's room you’re sleeping in has a fan loud enough for white noise. Basically, despite him being more feminine than the others, he’s still good at providing and leading your guys’ relationship. You’re always making sure he’s taking care of himself as well. Sometimes, Sunoo struggles with motivation and productivity, so you’re always making him good food and helping him complete little tasks.

It was a surprise to you when you found out that Sunoo’s not a fan of physical affection. You always do your best to respect this boundary, but you do tend to be quite a loving person, so sometimes you forget about how much he enjoys his personal space. Except for the times when you grab onto his arm to hold onto… and the times when you come to him for cuddles. Basically, he makes an exception for you, even if it only lasts for a few minutes. Now, of course, he has his moments when all he wants to do is kiss you and give you the back scratches that you love so much, but most of the time you’re both content with intimate stares and exchanging cute smiles that lead to you both blushing.

✶ MORE THOUGHTS

matching jellycats and pyjamas, all of ur guys’ selcas being iconic, Sun hating k-dramas but he watches them with u anyway, making baked goods / dessert for him, flowers for each other 24/7, decorating the dorm w him, keeping his photocard in ur phone case, him always paying for u <3

✶ UNITZ

Bermuda Triangle, Tinyz, Maknae Line / Kiddoz, Sunshinez

ꔫ ˖ 양정원 // YANG2 - YNWON ⵌ !! popularity 89% dating since after Drunk-Dazed era

᱖ Miss Independent meets Mr Caretaker with your guys’ relationship. He’s learned that with Jay, you barely have to lift a finger, so Jungwon often tries to follow suit and do kind of the same thing. However, as much as you appreciate being taken care of by him, you recognize that he has to take care of and lead 7 other people a majority of the time as well. So, in an attempt to lessen the stress that Jungwon is often under, you don’t let him do a lot of things for you, instead, opting to do them for him. You and him have had lots of talks about how to balance this aspect of your relationship because Jungwon does like being in control, but you want him to have time where he isn’t worrying about someone. And for now, he performs little acts of service for you while you try to keep things organized and running smoothly for him so you’re both happy. You both like to tease each other as well. Sometimes when things get intense during practice and training, you’ll mess with him a bit to loosen him up and allow him to let his frustrations out to you (or onto you, when acceptable). And teasing is just one of his top 3 love languages, so it’s a regular part of your love with him.

Jungwon is a very fun person to be around. Not only is he extremely funny, but he’s also the only member that is also a 04 liner. So while you both still respect each other, your relationship has a sort of free-ness that the others don’t. He’s only about two months older than you, but he still allows you to let another side of yourself show where you let yourself be a little bossy and make playful jokes that might’ve earned you a wary glance with the older members. Jungwon is also very encouraging of you. He always makes sure you have a chance to speak and express your thoughts and opinions, double-checking that you’re comfortable in any situation, cheering you on when you’re taking part in solo activities, etc. Jungwon’s favorite thing to do is spend time with you. Especially outside. Walks, bike rides, and picnics have become staples for both of you. It’s just so refreshing to be in nature, and since you already energize each other, it makes sense that you would continue that energization by being in a recharging place. Jungwon and you act like a married couple too, which ENGENEs love to see. You make sure to always be honest with one another, have an insane amount of inside jokes, and he has the cutest ways of expressing his love for you (cheek taps, leaning towards you when he laughs, always pushing past the other boys to be the one sitting next to you!)

You get EXTREME cuteness aggression with Jungwon. Because let’s be honest, he’s just the cutest person ever. So it’s not abnormal for you to bite him sometimes as your coping mechanism for his adorableness. Another result is that you’re usually all over him, which makes him the second person of the “yn clingy line” (or whatever you want to call it). When he sits down, you’re not far behind him, going straight for his lap and your head falling onto his shoulder. When he’s standing up, you slip underneath his arm and hug his waist, waddling along with him when he decides it’s time to move. And cuddling with Jungwon has to top all of it. His body runs on the warmer side, so it’s difficult to lay with him for a long amount of time, so you both make the best out of it and cuddle as often as possible. His presence is so comforting for you, and simply laying on his chest silences all of your stresses and worries so you can focus and love him.

✶ MORE THOUGHTS

kisses kisses kisses, u guys r always mc-ing together, sharing glasses, ur both obsessed with strawberries (literally this), sending each other tiktoks going “this is u”, english lessons every weekend, resting ur head on his shoulder 24/7, binging shows together

✶ UNITZ

Tinyz, Maknae Line / Kiddoz, Clingyz, Sunshinez

ꔫ ˖ 西村 力 || ⵌ RIKIYNZ - GAYOZAZ ?? popularity 91% dating since after Blessed-Cursed era

᱖ In Riki’s words, “It took you 500 years to like me back” when really, you’d just seen him as more of a little brother until Blessed-Cursed. He’s always looked up to you in a way. You’ve inspired him to grow as an artist and as a person with the way you’ve cared for him and just the way you are as a person. Riki’s always harbored a little crush on you ever since I-Land, but it never became serious until you both started to spend more and more time together after your debut. It’s so effortless for you guys to be together because first of all, you’re both Japanese, and second of all, your calmness and patience allow him to let his personality shine. He still loves pulling pranks and (lovingly) making fun of you, but it’s significantly less than the others since you get girlfriend privilege. You both came into the industry young, so it’s only natural for you to relate to each other, and he’s the one you go to for the majority of your worries. Riki’s very mature, and he loves giving you advice. Anything to make you feel better and be happy. And you’re the president of the Ni-ki Protection Club. It’s easy for you to read each other, so when things get to be a little too much, you’re always there to sweep him away to hole up in one of your rooms to heal and feel at home together. You’re always defending him no matter what, and he does the same. Even if you may not be aware of his protectiveness, Riki’s always keeping an eye out for you, and doesn’t hesitate to question those that are rude to you in any way.

A big thing for both of you is seeing each other truly enjoy themselves and have fun because, to say the least, life as an idol hasn’t been easy for either of you. So you’re constantly sharing moments with him where you're the only two people in the world, laughing and being carefree without sparing a thought to anything else. These moments happen at the most random times, where happy memories are created by doing the most impulsive things so you both have positive things to look back on. And since you both come from the same culture, spending time with him is like spending time with your younger self, and you can showcase yourself through your first language with him. Which is something that’s so unbelievably important to both of you. This connection with him keeps you in touch with the person you were before you moved to New Zealand and decided to become an idol, something that’s strangely calming. Quality time and words of affirmation are huge with Riki. So not only are you always making good memories with him, but you’re also giving him praise and cheering him on. You become the biggest hype woman when Riki’s involved. But it’s also routine for him to cheer you on in a different way. Simply by admiring you and your unreal performance skills, only to come up to you after a stage and cuddle into you. It’s his way of saying you were amazing by acknowledging how hard you’ve worked and by helping you relax again.

Speaking of cuddling, Riki is the final person that you share physical affection with the most! It’s the kind of touch that comes along with your first love, so he always wants to be near you and holding your hand. He isn’t afraid to be playful with his expressions sometimes… chasing you around, carrying you over his shoulder, wrestling and tickling you, all of it. So in return, you usually try to fight back. Other times, you just let it happen and hug him tightly when he’s calmed down. You both look at each other in a way that other people can’t help but gawk at, and he’s not afraid to show his love for you. HYBE isn’t very approving of these moments, though, so it’s rare for fans to get content with him leaning onto you and looking up at you with hearts as pupils. But, when things are live, nothing can stop him from showing off his feelings towards you.

✶ MORE THOUGHTS

ties ur shoes for u, so. many. compliments, loves when u wear bows in ur hair, (lovingly) teasing u when u make choreo mistakes, cooking Japanese dishes to enjoy together, gets u little presents whenever the group travels (“this reminded me of u”), takes pics of u simply because he wants to keep the memories, matching phone cases, demands to sit next to u for car rides

✶ UNITZ

Maknae Line / Kiddoz, 위아래즈 / Top to Bottomz, 10Yearz, Clingyz

𑂴₍ᐢ𑂴ᐢ ₎ BONUS !

ꔫ ˖ 변상미 || ⵌ YNSANGZ - GOSSIPZ ?? popularity 73% besties since before I-LAND

᱖ Sangmi just kind of appeared when you were both trainees and immediately after two words were exchanged you became best friends. It was like you spawned in for each other. With her, you don’t feel the need to be anything you aren’t or the need to try and fill silences. You understand each other’s humor to the point where you’ll say the same niche references at the same time and start making obscure references that only the other would laugh at. You just get each other. It’s as simple as that. You’ve been through so much together: training, fighting for a spot in Enhypen, learning how to become an idol, and facing all of the hate the world has to offer. If it weren’t for her, you probably wouldn’t have even made it through the first part of I-Land. She was the only one who constantly stood up for you and made sure you were okay, and you both confided in each other and built a level of trust where you would pick her over anyone. And vice versa, of course. You tell each other everything and anything, so it’s like you guys share the same brain. She knows when you get tired of being out and about and you know when she gets into the headspace when the only thing she does is beat herself up. Therefore, you both also know all of the ways to help each other feel better. Even if it’s just lying in silence.

You’re always getting in trouble with her too, since it’s rare for you both to shut up when you’re together. Choreographers always have to scold you and when Enhypen is on tour sometimes the only way to separate you from Sangmi is if one of the boys literally carries you away. She’s like your cool older sister who you’re absolutely obsessed with and that you want to be just like. So sometimes you might steal her clothes without asking or use her lipstick, but she never gets mad at you because she does those exact same things too. You have to be careful when you’re shopping with Sangmi because anything you pick up or call “cute” she’ll buy it for you even if you insist you don’t actually want it (okay Sugar Mommy) and sometimes it makes you want to cry when you think about how generous and supportive she is. Being supportive is one of her strongest qualities so in return you do your best to shower her with love as well. Doing small tasks with her like running groceries, hyping her up, being understanding and listening, and making it clear that you truly know her.

You guys never really fight either. When you do, it’s more of a silent treatment until you hang out again and you say, “I was mad at you cause you blah blah blah” and then it’s easy to talk everything out. You’re really protective of her so if anyone so much as spells her name wrong on purpose they’re getting a side eye from you. Sangmi and you are like Sunshine x Sunshine and are convinced that you’re twins even though you don’t share a mother. You’re closer than best friends, and honestly, you actually are twins because you share part of the same soul. At your guys’ core, you are one.

✶ MORE THOUGHTS

best friend by laufey is ur ANTHEM, adapting each other’s texting styles, fans always catching u guys out n about w.out staff, barbie movie marathons, unit photo shoots putting the whole world in shock, irl Serena Van Der Woodsen and Blair Waldorf, clips upon clips of u guys gossiping, sonny angel collection competitions

✶ UNITZ

Tinyz, Sunshinez

마리셀의 노트 , I was looking at this and seriously thought I wrote so much for each member but they were all roughly between 500 ~ 600😅 requests will be opening soon so don’t be afraid to send stuff in!💗🌷 please disregard any grammar mistakes lololol🫶🏻💐

[all4aoki]

  ⊹ 𝓟ICK 𝓤P ˒ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝓟ICK 𝓤P ⠀Ꮺ ָ࣪ ۰ ִ

a look inside of Aoki YN`s phone . . . enha x f!reader, poly!enha, enha8thmember

©all4aoki, 2024

ꔫ ˖ 개인 || ⵌ PERSONAL ?? model white iphone 13 lock screen you n ur boys home screen cute aesthetic layout you copied from tiktok case the ‘kitten around’ case by wallflower

᱖ Before you had this phone, you had an iPhone XR which you were pretty happy with. However, your sister got a new phone for one Christmas, so your parents got you a new one too. You’ve been using it ever since and with how often you drop it, it’s surprising that it’s gone so long without cracking. This current phone you have was given to you before the pink version of the iPhone was released, so unfortunately, you didn’t get that cute baby pink color. However, you’re content with the white that your parents picked out for you since white goes with everything.

Your lock screen is just of ot7 Enhypen and you (aka you and your boyfriends). Honestly, the picture isn’t anything special, but it’s still one of your favorites. It’s just such a cute picture. and your home screen was one you found on TikTok. Being a huge fan of anything pleasing on the eye, you adapted the style to your own electronic immediately and haven’t changed it since.

Sunoo got you your phone case for your most recent birthday. Originally, you wanted the Wallflower case that had the design of pointe shoes and ribbons, but it had been sold out in the iPhone 13 size for what felt like forever. So, Sunoo chose a different design and you ended up liking it even more than the first.

You have all of your socials and games located on this phone. Honestly, there isn’t a huge difference between this phone and your work phone, apart from this one containing the contacts of your family and non-idol friends. That being said, you rarely bring this phone out in public with you now both because of your group’s partnership with Samsung. Also, as the years have gone on, your privacy has become more and more important to you.

ꔫ ˖ 작업 || ⵌ WORK ?? model silver samsung galaxy flip4 lock screen you n ENGENE home screen plain layout case clear hello kitty case ordered from etsy

᱖ You had firmly believed that you would’ve never gotten a Samsung phone. This was only because phones are expensive and you’ve always had an iPhone that worked so there was no point dropping 1000+ dollars on a new one. But when Enhypen began endorsing Samsung, you had to get one. You decided on one of the flip phones because it was the same style your mom had and because you’d been influenced by watching ‘Business Proposal’ ><

Fans will zoom in on videos or take peeks in public to observe your guys’ phones so you weren’t able to make your lock screen a picture of your boys and you. But you settled for the next best thing: a cute interaction between you and ENGENE at one of Enhypen’s comeback shows! As for your home screen, you left the layout mostly basic. only adding some things like cute pictures, a calendar, etc.

You’ve always been a huge Sanrio fan, so it only made sense for you to have a phone case that was related to it in some way. You had planned on getting one with Cinnamoroll on it, but after finding two matching cases with Hello Kitty on them, you just had to get them. You have the clear version and Sangmi has the black version! Fans think it’s adorable that you both have matching cases. It was only an added plus that the cases came with an added charm to help you carry your phones around.

This work phone also has games on it, but you don’t have any socials on it except for Instagram and EN-line (like Phoning, but for enha!). Most of the time the staff films TikToks for you and posts selcas on Twitter, so you didn’t bother with downloading the apps on this phone. The only contacts you have on this phone are your members and your staff (manager, stylist & bodyguards).

ꔫ ˖ 연락처 // CONTACTS ⵌ !! whore 1 (affectionate) heeseung 쭌이! / jjongie! jay / whore 2 (affectionate) jake 남편🗣️ / hubby🗣️ sunghoon 꿀벌☺️ / honeybee☺️ sunoo 양양🌷 / yangyang🌷 jungwon no.1 sasaeng!👽 ni-ki

ꔫ ˖ EN라인 || ⵌ EN-LINE ??

᱖ Very similar to Phoning for NewJeans (except this was released before they even debuted :P) and Weverse. Except it’s solely for Enhypen and ENGENE!

Main features include… Data & Voice Lines (messages between members and voice notes you’re able to leave for fans); Physical Media (photo albums for each member); Class Schedule (calendars each member can post updates on like what they’re doing for the day, if they plan to go live, etc); Audio Transmission (where the members can make and share playlists / what kind of music you’re listening to or creating); SIGENAL (video lives); and DARK MOON (contains all Webtoon and stories related to Enhypen’s lore)

There is a premium version of the app called EN-Line+ but there are quite a few benefits that come with it! For example, it allows ENGENES to access chat rooms that are separated into ‘clubs’ and they can talk to each other. Sometimes you and your members join the convo, but it’s more fun to watch everything happen. This version of the app also gives exclusive BTS content on vlogs, concerts, filmings, etc. And! For every month ENGENEs are subscribed to EN-Line+, they get the option of 2 photocards and 2 other pieces of merch that are exclusive to the app!

마리셀의 노트 , just a little smthing while I finish up some other works☺️🌷thank you all so much for your patience and for the support!💕😻

[all4aoki]

Home » Kpop Girl Groups » S.O.S (Sisterhood of Sound) Members Profile & Facts

𖦹 ₊ ⟡ ﹑ 𝓢.O.𝓢 (𝓢isterhood of 𝓢ound) Members Profile & Facts

→ 𝓢.O.𝓢, also known as 𝓢isterhood of 𝓢ound (소리의 자매단) is a South Korean project girl group under HYBE Labels. The group features the female members of the company’s co-ed teams as well as the female soloists. The group consists of soloists ﹫ Nana & Meira, ﹫ Lulu & Kilani of 𝓑TS, ﹫ Han Julie & Jiwoo of 𝓣omorrow X 𝓣ogether (TXT), and ﹫ Sangmi & YN of 𝓔nhypen. They debuted on May 27, 2022 with their debut EP ‘Sparkling’.

⎙ 𝓢.O.𝓢 (𝓢isterhood of 𝓢ound) Official Accounts

WEBSITE sisterhoodofsound.hybe / sisterhoodofsound.hybe.jp INSTAGRAM officalsosound TWITTER real_sos_hybe / real_sos_hybe_jp YOUTUBE S.O.S (Sisterhood of Sound) FACEBOOK officialsosound

MEMBER profiles & facts

𝓝ana

STAGE NAME Nana (나나) BIRTH NAME Im Jin Ah (임진아) POSITION – BIRTHDAY September 14, 1991 ZODIAC SIGN Virgo HEIGHT 171 cm (5’7”) WEIGHT – BLOOD TYPE A MBTI ESFP NATIONALITY Korean INSTAGRAM jin_a_nana GROUP Soloist, Ex After School REPRESENTATIVE EMOJI 🐘

⇵ show more NANA fun facts . . .

𝓚ilani

STAGE NAME Kilani (킬라니) BIRTH NAME Tsai Da Xia (蔡大夏) POSITION – BIRTHDAY March 11, 1994 ZODIAC SIGN Pisces HEIGHT 169 cm (5’6”) WEIGHT – BLOOD TYPE AB MBTI ISFP NATIONALITY Taiwanese-American INSTAGRAM kilaniknows GROUP BTS (방탄소년단) REPRESENTATIVE EMOJI 🌺/🐦

⇵ show more KILANI fun facts . . .

𝓛ulu

STAGE NAME Lulu (루루) BIRTH NAME Choi Hyo Son (최효손) MARRIED NAME Kim Hyo Son (김효손) POSITION – BIRTHDAY July 20, 1996 ZODIAC SIGN Cancer HEIGHT 170 cm (5’7”) WEIGHT – BLOOD TYPE A MBTI ENTJ (Her previous result was ENFP) NATIONALITY Korean INSTAGRAM hyoneybee GROUP BTS (방탄소년단) REPRESENTATIVE EMOJI 🐱/🦊

⇵ show more LULU fun facts . . .

𝓜eira

STAGE NAME Meira (메이라) BIRTH NAME Cheong Eun Ha (정은하) POSITION – BIRTHDAY August 11, 1998 ZODIAC SIGN Leo HEIGHT 147 cm (5’2″) WEIGHT – BLOOD TYPE AB MBTI ENTP NATIONALITY Korean INSTAGRAM meira.official GROUP Soloist REPRESENTATIVE EMOJI 🍓

⇵ show more MEIRA fun facts . . .

𝓙ulie

STAGE NAME Julie (쥴리) BIRTH NAME Julie Han POSITION – BIRTHDAY March 29, 2000 ZODIAC SIGN Aries HEIGHT 163 cm (5’4″) WEIGHT – BLOOD TYPE O MBTI ENFP NATIONALITY American INSTAGRAM ysjsodp_77 GROUP Tomorrow X Together (TXT) REPRESENTATIVE EMOJI 🐈‍⬛/🐰

⇵ show more JULIE fun facts . . .

𝓙iwoo

STAGE NAME Jiwoo (지우) BIRTH NAME Son Jiwoo (손지우) POSITION – BIRTHDAY October 30, 2001 ZODIAC SIGN Scorpio HEIGHT 166 cm (5’5″) WEIGHT – BLOOD TYPE A MBTI ENFP NATIONALITY Korean GROUP Tomorrow X Together (TXT) REPRESENTATIVE EMOJI 🐬

⇵ show more JIWOO fun facts . . .

𝓢angmi

STAGE NAME Sangmi (상미) BIRTH NAME Byun Sang Mi (변상미) POSITION – BIRTHDAY January 28, 2003 ZODIAC SIGN Aquarius HEIGHT 162 cm (5’4”) WEIGHT – BLOOD TYPE AB MBTI ENFP NATIONALITY Korean INSTAGRAM sarang.hoe GROUP Enhypen REPRESENTATIVE EMOJI 🐈

ꜛ show more SANGMI fun facts . . .

– Her hometown is Busan, South Korea.

– Training Period: 3 years.

– She ranked 10th in the final episode of I-LAND with 934,239 votes but was the producer’s choice to debut.

– She took English as one of her classes in high school and is now semi-fluent.

– Her nicknames are Susu, Suyangi, and 4D Insider.

– Sangmi has a plant nursery and sometimes uses the food she grows to cook.

– She was on her school’s dance team so she’s very flexible and good at tumbling.

– Her fandom name is Tailz created by fans.

– Her Hogwarts house is Gryffindor (19.09.21 vLive).

– She likes every fruit except for blueberries and grapes.

– Sangmi is very stable while dancing.

– She has one older brother.

– According to members, she’s very clumsy and they don’t let her hold a lot of things since she tends to drop them.

– Sangmi is friends with all of STAYC, Kep1er’s Dayeon, Woo!ah’s Wooyeon, aespa’s Winter & Karina, Kiss of Life’s Belle, and BOYNEXTDOOR’s Sungho.

– When she was little, her family went to Disney a lot, so she’s a huge Disney fan.

– She trained at JYP for 1 year before moving to BigHit where she trained for 2 years.

– Friends would describe her as funny, supportive, and caring.

– She has bad eyesight and is supposed to wear contacts, but they make her eyes dry so she doesn’t wear them much.

– Sangmi has a Pomeranian named Haenguni and a cat named Yangmi.

– A secret talent of hers is that she’s really good at magic tricks.

– Education: On Music Jasmin Academy, Hamlin Multi Arts School.

– She has a habit of putting keychains on her bags and pants.

– Ever since she was little she’s been very good at comforting people.

– Before gaining popularity for being a trainee, she was well known online for giving makeup advice, especially for eye makeup.

– Her favorite colors are pink and red.

– Specialty: dancing, positive attitude, performance (Self-revised Profile).

– Hobbies: playing video games, going on walks, calling her family, café-hopping (Self-revised Profile).

– Likes: watching YouTube videos, bubble tea, cats, ENHYPEN, dancing (Self-revised Profile).

– Dislikes: being sore, tomatoes, when she doesn’t understand something (Self-revised Profile).

– Charming Point: her sexy charisma, long legs, cute eyes (Self-revised Profile).

– Motto: “Vocal, dance, and rap; fall for the infinite charms of an all-rounder!”

𝓨N

STAGE NAME YN ( ) BIRTH NAME Aoki YN (青木 ) POSITION Maknae BIRTHDAY April 7, 2004 ZODIAC SIGN Aries HEIGHT 164 cm (5’4”) WEIGHT – BLOOD TYPE A MBTI INFJ NATIONALITY Japanese-Kiwi INSTAGRAM dollerina GROUP Enhypen REPRESENTATIVE EMOJI 🐑/🐰

ꜛ show more YN fun facts . . .

– She was born in Sapporo, Hokkaido, Japan and moved to Napier, New Zealand when she was seven.

– She has one older sister (born in 1998).

– YN performed with Sangmi & Yunjin in the first episode of I-LAND.

– She’s danced since she was two and trained at the Paris Opera Ballet for a little under two years (I-LAND ep. 1).

– Her favorite feature of herself is her eyes.

– YN can play the piano, guitar (acoustic and bass), clarinet, and violin.

– Her favorite color is any shade of pink.

– She really loves nature and being outside. Spending time outside is one of her favorite things.

– YN’s favorite season is whatever one is next (she has a small preference for summer, though).

– She used to participate in her school’s musicals, and her favorite role was Cinderella in ‘Into the Woods’.

– She wants to meet her fans and go on a trip with the members after she debuts.

– YN ranked 7th in the final episode of I-LAND with 1,072,682 votes.

– Minis is YN’s fandom name created by fans.

– Her dad is Japanese and her mom is Kiwi.

– She loves writing music and lyrics. It helps her heal and she wants to give people something to relate to so they feel less alone.

– YN’s favorite movie is Little Women (2019).

– Education: Unknown Junior School, Paris Opera Ballet, Hanlim Arts High School.

– Everyone in Enhypen has different nicknames for her, but they all call her Princess and Dolly (Self-revised Profile).

– YN’s been learning to crochet from NewJeans’s Hanni (05.19.23 vLive).

– She’s close friends with Le Sserafim’s Yunjin & Hikaru, NewJeans’s Danielle & Hanni, and IVE’s Wonyoung & Yujin.

– YN is the youngest global ambassador for luxury brands Miu Miu, Vivienne Westwood, and Cartier.

– She speaks fluent Japanese, English, Korean, French, and Chinese. She speaks basic Thai.

– Sports she participated in when she was little include dance, gymnastics, softball, skiing, and tennis.

– YN has two cats, Cinnamon and Serena (I-LAND ep. 12).

– She journals and practices gratefulness each morning (08.20.22 TMI Note).

– She loves science and if she wasn’t an idol, she would be a veterinarian.

– She also knows how to ski and swam A LOT when she was little.

– Her favorite animal is cats and otters.

– She’s written songs for Enhypen including Ditto, ParadoXXX Invasion, Polaroid Love, and more.

– She ranked 1st on TC Chandler’s Most Beautiful Faces of 2021, 2022, and 2023.

– YN really loved boba and coffee (separately).

– She has a habit of tapping her nails on things.

– Her role model is Miss A’s Suzy, BLACKPINK’s Rosé, and TWICE’s Sana.

– She likes ASMR. She watches it when she’s trying to relax before bed.

– Training Period: 1 year.

– Her favorite foods are cucumbers, bulgogi, and tiramisu.

– YN passed the auditions for SM, JYP, YG, FNC, Starship, and a few others, but chose HYBE.

– Her grandparents have a dog named Jenny.

– Specialty: Singing, dancing, face, writing music (Self-revised Profile).

– Likes: Enhypen, Sunghoon [x5], shopping, dancing, spending time with her loved ones, Ni-ki, baking, being outside, Jake (Self-revised Profile).

– Dislikes: Disrespect, slow walkers, being told to speak up (Self-revised Profile).

– Hobbies: shopping, learning new things, dancing, spending time with her loved ones, listening to music, and reading (Self-revised Profile).

– Charming Point: Round face, big eyes, full lips, her smile (Self-revised Profile).

– Motto: “Just because I’m struggling, it doesn’t mean I’m failing” (Self-revised Profile).

ʬʬ 𝓛ATEST 𝓚OREAN 𝓒OMEBACK ≋ ゛

🔗 𝓢.O.𝓢 (𝓢isterhood of 𝓢ound) ‘CHERISH’ Official M/V

[all4aoki]

( i’m⠀ ) ( so⠀ ) ( successful⠀ )

𝓼ta𝓻𝓻ing 𝔂𝑜𝑢 ﹗

read the profile , see the relationships, tap in

𝓣RACK𝓛IST . . .

TRACK O1 ★☆ 2O2O ──────

TRACK O2 ★☆ 2O21 ──────

TRACK O3 ★☆ 2O22 ──────

TRACK O4 ★☆ 2O23 ──────

credits : HYPE BOY ot7 , your boys love your instagram almost as much as you do . ☁️

TRACK O5 ★☆ 2O24 ──────

𝓕ILMO𝓖RAPHY . . .

ex𝘤use me 𝑢m , I LOVE YOU

DIRECT-ENs the origin series, loving 7 people & yourself isn’t easy to say the least watch the episodes 📹 !

ep.1 find out what I want (psh / ep.2 send a signal (pjs / ep.3 mixed up, leave me alone (yjw

I-LAND watch soon

VARIETY SHOWS watch soon

( social media⠀ )

want more ? 𝑜th𝖾𝗋 alb𝑢𝑚s

. . . 𝓓ISCO𝓖RAPHY

border : day one . . . border : carnival . . . dimension : dilemma . . . dimension : answer . . . manifesto : day 1 . . . dark blood . . . orange blood . . . memorabilia . . . romance : untold

[all4aoki]

  ⊹ 𝓕IND 𝓞UT 𝓦HAT 𝓙 𝓦ANT ⠀Ꮺ ָ࣪ ۰ ִ

love moves fast, but your fears move faster . . . enha x f!reader (psh focused), poly!enha, enha8thmember

wc . . . 11.3k , warnings ! brief mentions of dieting, sadness & talks of isolation, not proofread & me guessing abt idol life!

when speaking in … korean, english, japanese

ᨳ next episode

©all4aoki, 2024

Silence filled the vehicle after the cameras turned off, the halt in filming being something you thought would have never happened that night. Distantly, one of the staff sitting at the front of the car mentioned something about how they were giving you all a moment to catch your breath. Or a sentence along those lines at least. Life didn’t feel real at that moment, and all you could do was clutch onto Sangmi’s hand and have your other hand glued to the strap of your backpack as your brain did its best to process every event that had happened in the past eight hours.

Enhypen. Your debut team. Words you thought you’d never hear after a year of the same repetitive training cycle in isolation, no thanks to the pandemic, and a survival show that had done almost nothing good for you. Except for this. You blinked heavily, eyes swarming with sleep, dreariness, and dried tears as you looked around at your new group members. Your heart trembled in your chest a bit, a mix of giddiness and growing love at the seven boys and girl you’d spent the entire summer with. The people that had gone through those difficult times with you and the people that you’d progressed with. Excitement still floated in the air as Sangmi laid her head on your shoulder, muttering about her high expectations for the dorm’s beds and you hummed in recognition.

The frenzy of hopes for your future had always been confusing for you. Your dreams had always felt so close, there had been so many moments where you could’ve practically tasted them but not touch them. Like you were one step away, but that step was too far. And now, it was a reality. The exhilaration from hearing your name being called was beginning to morph into something else. Nervousness maybe? It had become normal for your mind to deem yourself not good enough after the slightest bit of disappointment directed towards you, after one instance of you letting yourself down. You knew you were maybe a bit too hard on yourself, and as you breathed in the smell of black ice, you could only hope that the habit would break. But what if the idol life wasn’t what you’d expected? After all, you'd been a trainee for almost two years, dedicating your entire life to this one leap of faith. What if the team didn’t receive enough support? 

The soft feeling of fingers reaching and twisting with yours broke through the wall that was your worries. Sunghoon’s eyes met yours as he leaned closer to you, noses maybe an inch apart and almost brushing against each other. His dark irises searched yours for something. 

“You’re shaking,” he said gently. You swallowed harshly, throat dry. Your relationship with Sunghoon had been confusing since that day you’d first met him at the Representative Test. A connection had attached itself to your heart the moment he’d offered you a small smile from across the room which, after your initial fluster had calmed, you’d returned. And from that point on, you’d never felt so seen in your life. Once Part 2 of the show had commenced, every second of the day you had free you’d spent with the boy and vice versa. At some point along the way, he’d developed a sixth sense for anything and everything YN-related. 

It was a little scary, to be honest.

Both how good he was at reading you, and how it made you feel. How it brought you emotions you’d never experienced in your sixteen years of life.

Your head turned away, downward to where his hand was touching yours, “Is it too early to be having second thoughts?”

“Maybe a little, yeah.” You could hear the grin in his voice, “Take this moment of silence for yourself, though. You’re probably just a bit overwhelmed.” His thumb rubbed the back of your hand in a comforting way. You nodded briefly, teeth going to sink into your bottom lip.

He was probably right, but it didn’t make you feel any better. “What if no one likes me?” you whispered to him, voice a little shaky. Sunghoon shifted in his seat and you knew if you looked to the left he’d be staring back at you.

“Why would they not like you?”

“I don’t know–”

“Then don’t even bother thinking that,” he dismissed and after a beat of silence without you acknowledging his words, he bumped his shoulder with yours. Only then did you glance over at him. His pretty features were twisted into a small frown and his eyes looked a little sad. “You’ve worked so hard and you’ve expressed yourself so well,” he murmured, words only meant for you, “I think at this point if no one likes you it’s cause they’re in love with you.” 

A small, hesitant giggle escaped your chest at his words and you could only watch as Sunghoon’s eyelashes fluttered at the sound. 

You were grateful for his words, but the dull ache of developing anxiety in your chest didn’t fully go away. So you decided to ignore it.

“You’re such a dork,” you teased back. He shrugged in response and proceeded to snuggle into your side. You could feel Sangmi’s head on your right shoulder bobbing as the van moved, some drool escaping her mouth as she slept and it soaked into your jacket. You scrunched your nose at the thought but left her to rest.

“Seriously though,” Sunghoon continued. “Don’t worry about what other people think. We’re proud of you and we know how hard you’ve fought to get where you are.” The strands of your hair under his head resisted the movement of you tilting your head to look at him. He looked up at you, pupils dilated and eyes wide. Your stomach flipped at the sight. “All the love you need is right here,” he brought your clasped hands to his chest.

Breath trembling, you pulled your hand from his, moving your fingers to trace over strands of hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. His gaze made you feel warm, the way he studied you made you feel exposed. This vulnerability with him wasn’t new, but it had never felt so intimate before. As softly as you could, you pushed his bangs away.

“You’re right,” you hummed, “If no one liked me, I wouldn’t even be here right now.” Sunghoon rolled his eyes at your words and opened his mouth to say something only to be interrupted.

“YN-ah, is everything okay?” Sunoo had craned his neck to peek over the back of his seat. “Your nose is a little red.”

Of course it is. A tell-tale sign that your body was close to crying before the tears actually welled up in your eyes. 

“Sunghoon-oppa’s jokes are making me cry,” you pretended to sob and Sunghoon playfully smacked your leg in protest. “They’re just so baddd.” 

You rested your chin on his head as he whined and Sunoo chuckled a bit at the elder member’s reaction. 

“Then just sit next to me for our next trip. Okay?”

“All right,” you agreed, “Just don’t fall asleep on me like these two.” You moved your shoulders a bit, gesturing to Sunghoon and Sangmi just to hear Sunoo laugh again. Thankfully he did. 

“Are we already assigning seats for car rides?” Jungwon asked from the front row. 

Riki snuggled into his seat as if he were claiming it by making sure no one would be able to pull him from it, “I want my own seat!”

“Let me keep my spot next to YN! I’m her favorite anyway,” Sunghoon said, gripping onto your arm. Halfheartedly, you patted his head.

“Wah, not even a full day of being a group and we’re already picking favorites.” Heeseung also glanced over his shoulder at you and the other two who were leaning on your shoulders.

“Riki-chan, what do I need to do for you to let me have that single seat?”

Heeseung laughed, “YN you should know you’re not going to be by yourself if we can help it.”

“Yeah, say goodbye to your precious alone time,” Jake added, not bothering to hide how he was laughing at you.

You groaned.

The dorm that the bus arrived in front of was smaller than you’d expected, considering your group of nine. Nonetheless, after living with four other trainees in a small bedroom for months even before I-Land, the sight of a place you could finally call your home was comforting. That and, it still looked like the nicest place you’d lived in since you moved away from New Zealand. 

You’d gently shook Sangmi awake, her cat-like eyes squinting at the bright lights flooding in from the ceiling of the van as she regained consciousness. 

“We’re home!” you whispered to her as the rest of the boys began to collect their things and stand to exit the bus. Jay stretched his back, a loud pop resounding and causing Riki and Sunoo to laugh loudly at the elder. You grinned up at him while Sangmi herself extended her arms above her head, arching her spine.

“Listen to this Grandpa!” Jungwon teased and Jay only adjusted his glasses and smiled as the other members chuckled at his comment. “Are you gonna be able to make it inside?”

“I don’t think so. Give me a piggyback ride,” Jay said and Jungwon curled into his seat that was next to Sangmi as Jay reached across the seats to try and grab at the younger. 

“We’re going to resume filming!” One of the staff informed, interrupting Jay’s attack on Jungwon (much to Jungwon’s relief) and causing everyone else to fall silent. Sunghoon offered you his hand as you slung your backpack over your shoulder, and you smiled up at him after taking hold of it, him pulling you up. 

You all began filing out of the vehicle, soft “Wow’s” leaving everyone’s mouths as they passed by the camera, and you were no exception. To be fair, the entrance appeared to be more luxurious than you’d originally seen and the thrums of excitement resounded through your chest once again as one of the staff typed in the passcode for the door. The night was warm for September, yet the heat from your jacket was still welcome as you all waited outside for the staff to give you all a rundown on the dorm rules and give you all the entry code. 

It was all simple stuff that you’d already kind of expected: no one in the house other than members and staff, any kind of leaving must be requested with the person being accompanied by some sort of surveillance, online orders or shopping packages would be delivered to the HYBE building to be checked before being handed off to the members, etc. You bounced on the balls of your feet, hands clutching each other as the door opened. Sangmi grasped onto your arm, a large smile on her face and both of you exchanged a glance.

We made it.

The two of you squealed, earning a concerned look from Sunghoon, and jumped a bit as you linked arms with your unnie. Neither of you could see inside the building yet due to Heeseung’s height and Jungwon’s wide shoulders, but an indescribable feeling of joy and happiness took hold of you. Sunghoon’s words from earlier played in your head again, and you finally felt yourself appreciating all of the hard work you’d put yourself through to reach this point. A sense of accomplishment ran through your veins, and the fact that it was just the door of your dorm opening for you to finally appreciate yourself and your long journey made you want to laugh at yourself. But then again, it was like you were entering a new world. Transforming into a new person by walking through that threshold. You still felt unsure of what your future life held, what struggles you would have to face, but as you clutched onto Sangmi and followed Jay into the house, you had an inkling that it would be okay as long as you had them by your side.

Unlike before on the bus, your eyes didn’t even bother searching and scoping for the cameras that the staff had placed. Instead, you opted for actually taking in the rooms before you as you kicked off your shoes and placed them somewhat neatly next to Heeseung’s. Dragging Sangmi behind you, you followed the rest of the boys into the kitchen, like a lost puppy following around someone it trusted. The boy’s exclamations and excitement were contagious and the once quiet house now echoed with the sound of its new residents. You all were quick to get comfortable, placing your bags down on random spots on the floor. 

“We’re going to fill this place up from now on!” Sunghoon uttered eagerly and he seized your other arm, pulling you away from Sangmi, the girl letting out a small protest. Ultimately, though, she just continued placing her coat on the table and joined Jake as he looked over the food that was stocked in the cupboards. 

“Oh, I don’t know how I feel about these curtains,” you murmured to yourself, smiling and placing your free hand’s fingers on your nose as you looked at the gold material. Your comment didn’t go unnoticed by the boy gripping onto your arm though.

“We can go online shopping tonight, yeah? I’ll get you whatever one you pick out.” You gave him a pointed look.

“Yah, what’s gotten into you lately Park Sunghoon-ssi?”

“Sunghoon-oppa,” he corrected and his fingers found your sides, squeezing gently and making you laugh loudly at the tickles.

“Ok! Ok!” you gasped out between laughs, hands desperately trying to push him off you, “Sunghoon-oppa! Stop it!” The last words came out in a small scream and Jungwon approached you both. 

“Don’t kill her Sunghoon-hyung,” he teased, poking at your side as said boy finally let you go. Turning around, you hit Sunghoon’s arm gently.

“Yeah, don’t kill me,” you laughed and Sunghoon pretended to lunge for you again, only for you to run out of the kitchen giggling. 

The living room was void of any furniture, apart from a TV, and as you entered the empty space, you sighed softly to yourself. You’d never lived alone, always sharing a dorm or spending your summers with your family, so you figured that having eight other roommates wouldn’t be that much of an adjustment. You would get to create a new safe space with them, everyone would be able to add their own features and personalities through small items and ways of existing. And sure, maybe you were romanticizing the thought of sharing a home with seven boys, but the fact that you were beginning a new life still brought a small smile to your face.

It was easy to picture your desired layout of the room, a light-colored couch big enough for everyone would go against the back wall and you were sure you’d be able to find a cute enough rug to put in the middle of the tile floor… And anything organizational would be important you figured.

Oh God, if any of them were messy it was going to drive you insane–

“YN-ah!” Sangmi called from somewhere down the hallway on your left, breaking you out of your thoughts, “I picked our room!” 

You were quick to follow her voice, jogging past the three other bedrooms that the boys were enthusiastically looking through while they chose who they were going to room with. And as Jay yelled something about Jake and how he left socks and hats everywhere, it was easy to smile. 

“Wah…” you breathed as you peeked into the room Sangmi was standing in, the older girl already lying on the bed pushed up against the left side of the room. When she saw you, she grinned. “Our room!” you exclaimed, giggling a little as she got up and pulled you inside.

“Our room!” she repeated as you both held onto each other’s forearms, jumping around in a little circle out of pure excitement and happiness. “Susu and YN-ie!” you squealed at her words and she followed suit, only for the two of you to dissolve into laughter at the strange noises. 

“Are you guys having a party or something in here?” someone suddenly asked, and with a quick glance over your shoulder, you saw it was Sunoo. “In this amazing room?”

“Yup, bet it’s better than everyone else’s!” you cried, wrapping your arms around Sangmi and leaning your head on hers. 

“What do you mean?” He gazed fondly at you, eyes turning into crescent moons as he smiled at the sight of you and your best friend, “All of the rooms are the same.”

“Well, it’s our room so it’s automatically the best,” Sangmi stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world and you nodded immediately after she spoke. 

Sunoo rolled his eyes, “Have you guys seen the makeup room yet?”

“There’s a makeup room?” you said, eyes widening and arms loosening. Sunoo nodded. “Oh my gosh, show me right now. Please.” After waiting for you and Sangmi to exit the room, he led you back down the hallway and towards the kitchen once again. 

“Obviously, there’s nothing in here yet, but can’t you imagine?”

“Us getting ready in here every day? Duh– Oh! Which bathroom are you using? Let’s do our skincare together tonight.” Sunoo observed the way you smiled and the way you bolted from topic to topic. Your usual shyness was nowhere to be found at the moment. Instead, there was this overjoyed girl who was ready to do anything and everything, and something in his chest softened at the fact that you were already comfortable. 

I-Land had been a difficult time for everyone, but especially you. The other girls were horrible to you in the first part of the show, and with the way the audience turned on you in the second half, your confidence had taken quite the hit. Sunoo recalled a conversation he’d had with the Chamber 5 unit, the first performance he’d had with you, about ways they would be able to keep you from the evil editing and hate that was occurring. You’d come to him one night sobbing, absolutely tearing yourself down in every possible way and picking at all of the faults you thought you had. And as he held you to try and suppress your shaking and frenzied breathing, all Sunoo could think about was how much he wanted to take away your pain. How he could bear any kind of torture in the world to stop your worries and struggles and to see you happy. And now, as he watched you grin and point spaces out to Sangmi for possible decoration, he thanked every force and star in the universe that you were here with them. 

Another person shuffled into the doorway, “We’re moving the cameras into position for the dinner portion of the video.” The three of you hastily followed the staff out of the room and back into the kitchen, taking your spots at the table as they signaled to the group that they had started the cameras. The majority of the group had already begun scarfing the chicken down before they even started rolling, and after reaching over Heeseung who was on your right to grab your own pair of chopsticks, you had to fight Jake’s out of the way so you could at least get one piece. 

A few minutes passed and only chewing was heard. “Please speak about the food,” one of the producers said and you all were quick to follow the instructions.

“Why is chicken so good?” Sunghoon said from the end of the table and you couldn’t help but laugh to yourself at how quickly he responded to the request.

Sunoo dropped another piece into his mouth, “Right?”

“Besides the box lunch before rehearsal I don’t think I ate anything,” Jungwon commented.

You frowned at him, “Ah, Jungwon-oppa, you shouldn’t skip meals.” Another piece of chicken found its way between your chopsticks and you popped it into your mouth, meeting Jungwon’s dark eyes. He held your gaze and you felt your face flush at the way he was looking at your mouth.

“A little kimbap?” Sunoo asked.

“I didn’t even eat the kimbap,” Jungwon answered, never taking his eyes off you. Your fingers shot up to your lips as the others continued discussing something, feeling around for sauce that might’ve not made it onto your tongue.

“Is there something on my face?” you whispered to him and he shook his head, a smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. 

“No, your lips just look pretty right now,” instinctively your hand covered your mouth. Jungwon laughed. “Whenever you eat something spicy they turn a really cute shade of red.”

“Thank you?” you offered and turned away from his stare for the sake of your embarrassment. 

Why did your gut feel like it was trembling? 

“Ooh! Should we watch a movie?” Jake asked, it now being his turn to face you. Murmurs of agreement swarmed the table and through a mouthful of chicken, you also approved of the idea. 

You swallowed the food in your mouth as you watched Sunghoon lift a cup of water to his lips. His throat bobbed. A droplet rested on his bottom lip as he stopped to take a breath. Since when was it so hot in the room?

Hastily, you turned to face Jake. “Can I have a sip, please?” you asked the brunette on your left and Jake nodded, wordlessly handing you the paper cup.

Jake took another bite, “It’s so relaxing to be like this.”

And it was. After the stress and intense emotions of I-Land, this moment of connection between the eight of you (Riki was already off and sleeping), brought that feeling where you were safe to be yourself. Any amount of work and heartache you had to endure was worth it. Just to be sitting here and watching your group members laugh and talk casually made your heart soar. From somewhere in the back of your brain you heard Sunghoon laugh and your head instantly turned to follow the happy sound. 

And there he was, smiling and acting the most carefree you’d seen him since, well, you met him. Your brain felt like it was going blank as you watched him eat, it was so cute the way he was concentrating on his food and the slope of his nose looked beautiful as he leaned over the table. Out of all the emotions you’d felt that night, the pride that filled you as you watched him in that moment was the strongest. Sunghoon was one of the kindest and most caring people you’d ever had the joy of becoming close with, and not only was his appearance beautiful, but his soul was as well. He was so deserving of everything he’d earned in the previous summer months. So deserving of all of the people who had fallen in love with him. Deserving of all of your love.

Of your love?

“We’re going to see each other forever,” Jake’s wide eyes surprised you as he tilted his head to try and get you to look at him and away from Sunghoon. Heeseung peeked over his shoulder at the way your face had suddenly gone blank and lost some of its color, like you’d just come to an earth-shattering revelation (you had).

Quickly, he cleared his throat and looked away, “I’m super happy I got to debut with such great people.”

“Awww, so sweet,” Sangmi teased.

“The eldest brother!” Jungwon added and Sunghoon repeated what the younger said, unaware of the way your heart jumped at the sound of his voice.

Jake reached around your small upper body to hit Heeseung on the shoulder, “Wow, our eldest brother.”

“Heeseung would be a great leader when we debut,” Sunghoon continued, and despite being lost in your thoughts, trying to sort out whatever tidal wave emotion that had rushed through you in a split second, you nodded subconsciously.

Jungwon dropped his chopsticks down on the other side of the table, “We’re all one year apart!”

“Do you want me to be the leader?”

“16, 17, 17, 16, 18, 18, 19, 20!” Sunoo counted off, ignoring Heeseung’s question. Jungwon hummed. 

“I want Jay to help a little if I become the leader,” Heeseung said, mostly to himself, but everyone still listened.

“Not Jay!” Sunghoon exclaimed,  “Jay should continue to be the life leader.”

“What about YN-ie?” Sangmi offered, giggling at your thoughtless expression.

Your eyes snapped around at the mention of your name, “Huh?”

The others just laughed. 

“Thank you,” you tilted your head in a bow as your individual interview finally wrapped up, clapping softly as you stood and the staff began packing up the gear. It would just be the other cameras sprinkled around the house that would film the rest of the night. 

“Good work today!” one of the staff cheered and you responded with a smile. The majority of the rooms were silent as you followed the film team towards the entrance of the dorm and you figured that the rest of your members had already begun drifting off to sleep while you stayed up as the final person to answer questions. Mentally, you rolled your eyes.

“Get back safe!” you said as they waved goodbye and only a few seconds passed as the team turned away from the door before you closed it and locked it, pulling on the handle three times to make sure that it was truly locked. There was a privacy gate that surrounded the neighborhood, since the area you were now living in was a neighborhood HYBE had designated for some of their artists, but a motto that had been ingrained into your brain by your mother was “better safe than sorry”. 

Sighing to yourself, you followed the still slightly unfamiliar path into the kitchen to collect your bag before finding your way into one of the two bathrooms. The thought of whether or not this was the one Sangmi had used had been disregarded by you and you pushed your hair back with the Cinnamoroll headband you’d received the previous year for Christmas, only thinking of getting your skincare done and heading to bed.

You were exhausted, all of the excitement and adrenaline finally wearing off as the sound of the running sink met your ears. The cool water on your face felt heavenly and some of the cloudiness in your brain began evaporating as you scrubbed away at your skin. Sunghoon had yet to leave your brain though. Yes, you had always found him attractive, and of course affection for him had always been present, but since when did things feel so deep? Your heart was burning with a sense of longing and hope, images of the two of you doing anything and everything together filling your head. This emotion of fondness was uncharted territory to you, and with the unknown, came fear. 

It hadn’t even been a full 24 hours of being a debut team and you were already proving those that had claimed you would fall for your team members right. The hate that all of the girls had received for being in a co-ed show you now understood because it was justifiable. 

You would fall for them too, you thought bitterly as you pumped vitamin C serum into your hand.

This industry was cruel, you’d been aware of that since your first week as a trainee, but the fans were even cruller. The way they would pick apart the women was something you were dreading, and you would be damned if you gave those who hated you another reason to tear you down. So whatever you were feeling now had to be just a brief moment of weakness because you refused to be vulnerable for those who wanted to be in your position. 

A droplet of water fell onto your hand and you let out a watery laugh as you realized you had started crying. Halfheartedly, you wiped your eyes before removing your contacts, slipping your glasses on before you changed into your pajamas. A final glance in the mirror showed you that your eyes were still a bit red, but it was no bother to you since you figured that Sangmi was already sleeping and you could play the color off as fatigue if you really needed to. 

As quietly as possible, you exited the bathroom, balancing all of your products in your left hand as you tried to open your backpack with your right hand. But with your luck, you could only watch as your bottle of face wash fell off the top of the pile and onto the floor, letting out a small ‘thump’ as it landed. 

“Of course,” you whispered to yourself, staying still as you glanced around the hallway, making sure the small noise didn’t wake anyone up. Once you were positive that the rest of the group was still asleep, you shuffled your feet a bit and began to try and squat down to reach the object. Maybe it wasn’t your best idea, considering your hands were still full, but tiredness had a grip on your thinking, and with the already overwhelming amount of emotions running through your veins, all you wanted to do was fall asleep. 

The sound of a door opening startled you, the soft creek causing your head to snap over your shoulder and for the rest of your skincare to topple out of your hand and crash onto the group. 

“Shit,” Sunghoon’s voice was raspy as he rushed over to you. You could only stare at him as he knelt next to you, checking the packaging to make sure nothing broke before placing everything into your backpack. 

“Did I wake you up?” you whispered to him and he shook his head, finishing zipping up your bag. 

“I was already gonna go to the bathroom,” his eyes flicked up to meet yours and you instantly looked down, “and I heard the noise, but I didn’t really think anything of it.” You nodded and pushed yourself up, him following suit, “I can’t believe they kept you so late.”

“Considering we have to get up at six tomorrow?” A soft laugh was shared between you both. 

“No, I just can’t believe that they were willing to deal with your attitude.”

“I am not the brat you believe me to be, Sunghoon-oppa,” you said, teasingly rolling your eyes at him.

He grinned and the sight of his fangs made your insides go soft, “Only when you’re tired.”

“Only when 5 '11”, ex-ice skaters won’t leave me alone.”

“Oh, hush,” he whispered, hitting your hands away from him, “and go to bed.” 

“Goodnight, Sunghoon-oppa.” You turned to head to your room only for his hand to find your wrist pulling you back around. His face suddenly appeared concerned, eyebrows furrowing. His other hand found your arm and he pulled you closer. If it weren’t for the fact that you were practically nose-to-nose with him now and your heart was suddenly about to beat its way out of your chest, you probably would’ve deduced that he was trying to piece together why your eyes were so red.

“Were you crying?”

The abruptness of his question caught you off-guard and you could only gape at his words, “Nuh- No. I’m just tired.”

The change of tone in the short conversation made your face grow hot. You weren’t sure why you were embarrassed that he’d been able to piece your emotions together that quickly, but it probably had something to do with how you were a horrible liar. 

Sunghoon’s hands that were still gripping onto your arms were making it extremely hard to concentrate as well, the feeling of his fingers pressing into your skin was lighting a fire under your nerves. Electricity was coursing through you at his touch. 

“Are you still worried that people won’t like you?”

“I’m always worried that people won’t like me,” you said. “It’s- it’s um,” you cleared your throat, “It’s just something else. I’m just… thinking about someone in a way I’d rather not.” Your laugh never sounded so wrong before as you acted out from your nervousness. Sunghoon tilted his head slightly, the expression on his face cluing to you that his concern was slowly melting away.

“Who?” Are you kidding me.

Your breathing was getting heavy, the sound of his voice and the overall closeness of him was making it extremely difficult to think. His scent was infiltrating your senses and filling your brain with thoughts of–Sunghoon, Sunghoon, Sunghoon. All you could do was laugh awkwardly.

“Oh… he– You wouldn’t know him.”

“I wouldn’t know him?” Sunghoon’s tone abruptly became rough and you mentally face-palmed yourself. Of course, you would accidentally bring up what you were trying to avoid. “Don’t tell me you’re seeing somebody.”

“I’m not seeing anyone,” you repeated back to him. His dark eyes were holding your own and you had a sudden pull towards him, like you were in a trace, “I’m not.”

Sunghoon didn’t look like he was convinced. 

“But you have romantic feelings for someone?”

“Ye– No. No, I um… I don’t know?” And without warning, he was even closer than before, and in an attempt to combat the heat that was beginning to build within you, you moved backward.

Step.

“Hmm. Well, I do.” Your stomach dropped at the three words. 

Step.

“You do?” Sunghoon hummed, hands running down the expanse of your arms, removing your backpack from your hands and letting it fall to the floor.

Step.

“And I think about her with everything I do. She reminds me of home, like a cold day where I sit next to the fire because the warmth is what keeps me going, and she makes me question everything I’ve ever felt.”

Your back met the wall behind you and you felt how your mouth was slightly opened from Sunghoon’s words. 

“She’s like air to me. Seeing her happy is like a drug for me because it brings me a kind of joy I’ve never experienced before. I want to give her the world, I would do anything she asks me to–”

“She’s very lucky.”

“And I’ve been in love with her ever since I saw her on that stage.”

The intenseness in the way he was speaking made you tremble and the reality of his words was one you didn’t want to face. Your relationship with Sunghoon was one you weren’t willing to lose and him confessing and making everything real was so unbelievably scary. You were desperate for a world where you could be with him, but with it being so early in your career, you didn’t want to risk his future and everything he’d worked for. 

“Sunghoon–”

His hands slid up to your neck and your slim fingers reached up to grip his own. “I apologize for the suddenness, but I think I’m in love with you–”

“Sunghoon. We can’t,” you murmured, heartbreaking as you did so. You couldn’t bear to look in his eyes at that moment, scared of what expression might be evident in them. The strength of your hands on his told a different story than your rejection, though. “Not right now.”

“What do you mean?” The sentence made you feel like crying again. 

“It’s too soon, Hoon,” you said, rubbing the skin of his hands with your thumbs. “If we try anything, the company won’t be happy. Our fans won’t be happy–”

“But wouldn’t you be happy? If we tried anything?” His grip moved to your face and he tilted your head so you had no choice but to look at him. Sunghoon rested his forehead on yours and you squeezed your eyes shut to stop yourself from sobbing. “I want you to be happy…”

“And I don’t want to ruin everything you’ve worked for.” You gently removed his touch from your cheeks, but refused to release his hands, holding them between your two bodies, “I’m happy if I get to have you even like this.”

“I love you.”

Your lips were pressed into a firm pout and you finally found the bravery to look at him, “I love you.” Water was brimming both of your eyes at this point, and he frowned before leaning closer to you only for you to bring your intertwined hands up between your chests to stop him. 

“Let me just once,” he whispered. You bit your lip. It wasn’t smart if you allowed him to do what you thought he wanted to, it would only make things harder for you both. Harder to let everything go and let this love fizzle out. Even though it never would. 

Against your better judgment, you nodded and his lips met yours without another moment wasted. 

You never knew a kiss could be mournful, but that was exactly what this felt like. Sunghoon moved against you so effortlessly, like he was meant to kiss you and you wanted to live in the moment forever. His lips were so soft, so full, and he suckled on your bottom lip before he pressed his tongue onto yours. Salty tears from your eyes mixed with Sunghoon’s flavor and the taste only furthered your heartbreak. Your movements were inexperienced and messy, after all this would be your first kiss, and nothing about it was like the rom-com dramas and romance novels you adored apart from the fact that it was with someone you were in love with. 

Through the way Sunghoon held onto your face and desperately pressed his body against yours you could read how he was saying, “I can’t let you go, but if it’s what you think is best, then I’ll do anything you ask.” And in return, you held him close as your way of saying “I’m sorry. I love you.” 

Then the burning of your lungs became too much and you pulled yourself away. 

Sunghoon said nothing as you collected your bag off the ground and moved past him to your bedroom. Unintentionally, you slammed the door shut behind you and your heart shook with the sound of the bang. You couldn’t help the feeling of regret that clawed its way onto you, like some sort of ugly second skin that you couldn’t get rid of. The thought of “What if”. 

“YN-ie?” Sangmi’s voice was groggy as she roused at the commotion you’d created. You sniffled and set the backpack at the foot of your bed, acting as if you didn’t hear her. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

More tears were on your cheeks. 

“He– I– I…” and with that, you were sobbing in the most unattractive way. Sangmi instantly was out of her bed, arms finding your shoulders and pressing your face into her neck as you released your heartbreak into your best friend’s skin.

Ever since that first night, the tension between you and Sunghoon had been unbearable. Not only for both of you but for the other members as well. Sangmi hadn’t left you alone longer than necessary after you’d cried your heart out to her and fallen asleep with her in her bed, too worried that you wouldn’t be able to get through it alone. Especially with your young age and the stresses that were already beginning to pile up as the recording for Enhypen’s debut album commenced. The other boys were always by your side too. They didn’t know exactly what had happened, but they could sense something was off and began copying the way Sangmi was taking care of you.

And while you were thankful for their concern, you were desperate to no longer be coddled. 

“Your voice is so pretty,” Jake mused to you as the two of you exited the recording studio, leaving Jay and Heeseung behind to finish up some more background vocals. 

You and Jake had meetings to attend to as the last part of the day’s schedule due to brands already requesting endorsements with you both, Louis Vuttion for Jake and Miu Miu for you. You figured that they must’ve been pretty desperate to secure a brand deal with you both considering the group had yet to debut. 

“I think I strained too much today. I don’t know what’s been going on but my throat has been so dry lately.”

Jake offered you his water. You shook your head, not wanting to take even more since you’d drank from it for the entirety of the recording session, but he simply sighed at your stubbornness and pushed the bottle into your hands.

“You should let me take care of you more often,” he pouted and you giggled at the sight. 

“I already have six other people worried about me. You don’t need to look after me too.” The way he was looking at you shifted and the smirk that revealed itself on his lips made heat rise to your face. Hastily, you took a sip from his water.

“Can’t I love you?”

“No!” you blurted and laughed at your reaction. 

“Relax, I’m just messing with you.” Embarrassed, you shared a small laugh with him. “But what has been going on? I don’t feel as close to you as we were on I-Land.”

“Trauma response.” He wrestled his water bottle from your hands, faking annoyance. “Sorry! I’m sorry!” you laughed as Jake pulled his hood up over his face, a faux saddened expression on his handsome features and he tried to turn away from you. You stopped to throw your arms around him, stopping his strides and pinning his arms down as you brought your face close to his. “Aww, don’t pout. ‘I’m just messing with you,’” you said, mocking his accent. 

He tried to brush his nose against yours and you immediately jumped away.

“Back up, buddy.”

“Oh so you’ll kiss Sunghoon but not me?” Your stomach plummeted to the floor.

The first thing you felt was panic. Worry about who else knew and how Jake found out being what struck you. Then, you were angry. And with the look on Jake’s face, he knew he said something he shouldn’t have.

“Wait, I didn’t mean that–”

“How’d you know about that?” you whispered angrily and the shuffling of other staff at the end of the hallway briefly distracted you, enough for Jake to loop your arm with his and pull you towards the elevators that would take you to your meeting rooms. “Slow– Slow down Jake! God…”

The both of you stopped in front of the elevator and he pressed the up button.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It was out of line–” 

“It’s fine, but what did… What did he tell you?”

Jake sighed, “Just that you guys kissed. Didn’t really mention anything else but he seemed so upset. And now,” he huffed out a breath of air. “He’s not really talking to any of us.”

Your eyebrows furrowed harshly as you blinked up at him. Sunghoon wasn’t talking to any of them? You hadn’t seen him a lot in the past week, partly because you were avoiding him and partly because the schedules were increasingly becoming more and more busy. But from the times that you had seen him, he didn’t seem any different than he normally did. You had thought you were doing the right thing: giving him time away from you to heal, when really, you had just been thinking of yourself and the hurt your decision had caused you. More often than not, you cared for others intensely, and when you would finally recognize how suffocating you were being, you would withdraw completely. You needed to have the power to leave before the other person did. 

“Is something going on with you two?”

“I don’t know what to do Jake,” you muttered as the elevator dinged. He carefully grasped onto your sleeve and directed you into the small space, “I just thought that, you know, we technically aren’t even in the industry yet and… I’m just so tired of feeling scared of everything.”

Jake cooed a soft “No” at your words and pulled you into a tight hug. The grounding feeling of his arms around you chipped away at your anger and worry, and his natural scent with the coconut and vanilla body wash Sangmi had bought for him helped the unease in your head slowly evaporate. 

“Don’t be scared of Sunghoon,” he said after he felt how your breathing had slowed, “Don’t be scared of any of us.”

“I don’t want to be the reason for something bad to happen to you guys. I don’t want you guys to hate me.” You sniffed and internally cringed at how pathetic you sounded, “What if I do something bad and you all leave me?”

His chin left your head and as soon as you looked up, you saw the almost offended look he had in his eyes.

“Do you know how stupid you sound right now?” Your face scrunched at his words and you went to push him away before he stopped you. “We would never, ever, leave you,” he said, “We’re all too obsessed with you to even let you out of our sights for a minute. And– and, you’re such a good person. It’s so easy to see that and we all love you so much.”

Jake paused and you had to focus on the dinging from the elevator going up another two floors to stop yourself from sniffing again. 

His eyes fell downwards to the floor as he spoke up again, “Especially Sunghoon.” He almost sounded sad, but you let it go. “So I don’t want you to be scared of how you feel for him. And after this meeting, I want you to go to him and tell him you want to be with him.”

“Jake–”

“No, really, because I know that if you don’t do it now, you never will,” he pushed and unfortunately, he was right. “Embrace being loved for once. I want you to understand how much you deserve it.” 

The robotic female voice signaled that you had arrived at the floor where you were going to have your meetings and Jake released you at the sound. You gripped onto his torso for one longer moment, though, squeezing him tightly.

“You’re amazing.”

He laughed, “I know I am.”

Jake watched as you smiled up at him, only to let your hand fall into his as you pulled him out of the elevator and into the hallway. As lightly as he could, he squeezed your hand three times, hoping you wouldn’t know what it meant.

It had been easy to talk to the members on the car ride back to the dorms, the four of you discussing the upcoming trip to Jeju-do for the further production of the debut EP and what was for dinner that night. You all had more filming to do for the end of your day and the ENHYPEN&Hi episode, so you were thankful that you’d had only a two-hour dance practice earlier. 

“I’m so hungryy,” you whined to Jake and Riki whined along with you, trying to match your pitch. “Riki-chan, stop.”

“Forget hungry, she’s hangry,” Jake teased.

You pouted at him and Heeseung laughed at the way your lips pressed together, “Is my charm broken today or something? Why aren’t you guys fussing over me and offering me snacks?”

“I’ll make you raymeon as soon as we get back, okay?”

“Fine,” you agreed to Jake’s offer. 

Heeseung smiled, “How was your meeting?”

“Unbelievable,” you smiled, suddenly giddy with excitement. “It’s still crazy that Miu Miu wants me to be a house ambassador.”

“Wow, Aoki YN, your impact is so amazing. Total It-Girl.”

“If you’re jealous Riki-chan, just say that,” you sassed before turning back to Heeseung. “They want to do a magazine cover with me in December to announce it.” 

“Well, you certainly have their princess vibes down to a T.”

“Because I’m pretty?”

“Because you’re spoiled–”

“My meeting was great too, Heeseung-hyung, thanks for asking,” Jake interrupted and Riki laughed loudly at the elder. The trio continued to bicker as you rested your head on the window, listening now and then for one of their creative comments and giggling. 

But your head was still spinning, heart heavy with worry for Sunghoon. You had genuinely thought that you were doing the right thing by shutting down your love for him despite knowing it would never end for you. The idea of setting him free had convinced you to disregard yourself, but thanks to Jake, you’d come to face the reality that the idea of letting him go was just an excuse for you to disregard your fear of vulnerability. And you couldn’t help but think of all of the times Sunghoon had been there for you, comforted you, made you laugh, and in return, you couldn’t even fully open yourself up to him. 

You wanted everything with him. You did want something real. 

Jake leaned over your shoulder, peering at your face and searching for any signs that you were upset. The corners of his lips gently turned up into a small reassuring smile. You returned the action.

“I would love to go to an actual restaurant,” Heeseung suddenly said, and you figured that at some point when you were lost in your thoughts, they’d changed the topic of conversation once again.

“Ooh!” Riki exclaimed, “I want to try a Saengson Hoejip.”

You shifted a little in your seat so you were facing them, “We might as well go to a sushi place then.”

“Mhm, they’re very different,” Heeseung said. 

“I’m not very well-versed in my types of raw fish.”

Heeseung smiled, “That just tells me I need to take you out to more places to eat.”

“As long as I can come,” Riki added. Heeseung rolled his eyes at the younger and Riki let out an offended sound at the action. 

“Me too! Me too!” Jake laughed and as they began to jokingly argue once again, you were relieved to see the gate for the community the dorm was in. And then you remembered what you promised Jake you would do that night and the relief morphed into anxiety. 

Would Sunghoon hate you for changing your mind? Would he assume you were playing with his feelings? Or maybe he wouldn’t trust you because he thought you would randomly reject him again. You could only hope that he would at least give you another chance. 

The car traveled down the road crowded with the apartments that other groups and wealthier citizens lived in and you watched as they passed, trying to piece together what you would say to Sunghoon that night. But as the four of you were dropped off and the moon shone down on you, you realized that it was pointless. You would be too nervous in front of him to remember any sort of speech. Heeseung typed in the code and held the door for Jake, Riki, and you before heading in himself and you heard the consoling sound of the locks clicking into place.

“I’m gonna go change and then I’ll meet you in the kitchen,” you said to Jake and he nodded in agreement. The both of you moved towards your still rather bare rooms, and you quickly picked out a pair of plaid pajama pants. To your disappointment, most of your crewnecks were dirty, so you pulled on a random hoodie that you’d stowed away in your bag after finding it in the studio earlier that day. 

Your sock-clad feet padded noiselessly against the tiled floor as you headed for the kitchen, catching the sight of Sunghoon, Sunoo, and Sangmi sitting in the living room together. Sunghoon was too engrossed in his phone to pay attention to you walking by, but the image of him still looking so princely despite being in lounge clothing and bare-faced made your heart race.

Swallowing was painful against your dry throat and you turned into the kitchen, where the smell of food was already beginning to drift into the air. Your stomach grumbled. 

“Jungwon-oppa!” you exclaimed, seeing your fellow 04-liner helping Jake at the stove. Grinning, you spun around the corner of the counter and slid yourself into the space between the two boys. You wound an arm around him, leaning in for a kind of hug, “I missed you today.”

His ears turned a darker shade of pink, “Be careful, it’s hot.”

“Can I help?”

“You can go sit at the table,” Jake offered and you hit his arm at the comment, him and Jungwon laughing. 

“Fine. But I want a good portion of that,” you demanded, your other arm going around Jungwon’s waist as he opened his package of spices and began pouring them into the boiling water. 

He rested his cheek on the top of your head, “Of course.” And then a quick kiss was planted on your hair before he was nudging you away with his hip.

“Geez… Ok, ok! I’m going!” you giggled as he continued to bump you. 

“This looks so good,” Jay said loudly as he walked into the kitchen and you decided that it was his turn to receive a hug as you moved away from Jungwon. Without even sparing you a glance, Jay opened his arms for you to rush into.

“No, no,” Jungwon said as Jay and you waddled along behind the two, “We asked you before.”

Heeseung, now in a pink hoodie and Winnie the Pooh pajama pants, wasn’t far behind Jay and he approached the youngsters who were cooking as well. “That looks so good,” he said, nudging you and Jay to the side so he could stand between Jake and Jungwon.

“Get out of here,” you giggled, moving away from Jay to nudge Heeseung back. The elder smiled. 

“It looks really good,” he repeated as he left the kitchen. 

Jay tugged on the sleeve of your hoodie, “Is this Sunghoon’s?” You tucked a piece of hair behind your ear as you looked down at the clothing. 

“Oh. Yeah, it is.”

Jake’s head whipped over his shoulder, “Did you two already make up?” Your eyes widened at his comment and you violently began shaking your head from side to side. Trying to signal to him that this was not the time and place to talk about you and Sunghoon. He furrowed his eyebrows, confused, “You haven’t?”

“What’s going on between you and Sunghoon?” Jay asked, glancing between you and Jake. Jake flushed as a death glare was sent his way from you.

“Nothing, nothing,” you cleared your throat and let your eyes trail up to Jay’s face, “I think he’s just tired of me stealing his things.”

Jungwon laughed, “As if. I swear sometimes he leaves his stuff around cause he knows you’re gonna pick it up.”

“Nah, you’re lying,” Jake cut in, “If anyone does that, it’s Jay-hyung.”

Jungwon laughed loudly as he picked up the pan to assist Jake in finishing the ramyeon. Jay’s face had fallen flat in faux anger, as it often did whenever he was teased by the members.

“We all do it, actually!” The sight of your smile directed towards him made his heart stutter, “You always clean our clothes after you wear them.”

Your mouth fell open, “You think I smell bad?!”

“No! No–”

“You’re the best-smelling person in this whole dorm,” Heeseung said as he walked back into the kitchen. He began collecting and placing chopsticks for the ramyeon on the table, “Always remind me of cupcakes or something.”

You pouted, “Well, good. I’ve spent too much on perfume for me to stink.” 

Moving away from the stove, you sat down at the table next to Heeseung, waiting for Jake to be done stirring the noodles. Which, apparently, had already been done, considering how quickly bowls were placed on the table after you’d sat down. The pan with the food had been placed at the center, and you gently nudged the Nintendo Switch Heeseung was playing on in his direction.

“Let’s take a photo of this!” Jake exclaimed, pulling out his phone and sitting down before holding the device out to take a selfie. Leaning onto Heeseung’s shoulder, you offered a peace sign, like he and Jungwon were doing. 

As soon as the camera was down, the man on your right began to dish the ramyeon into his bowl and you carefully began to take some of your own as well. 

“Does this even keep you warm?” you asked through a mouthful of noodles as you pulled on the sleeve of Heeseung’s sweatshirt, referencing the hole in the shoulder.

He slurped his food loudly, “Not really but I have a shirt on underneath.” He turned to show you the other piece of clothing through the hole in the back. 

“That seems counterproductive.”

Jungwon laughed at your thought, “At least it’s not that cold right now.”

“Clearly,” Jake scooped up more raymeon with his chopsticks, “Jay’s standing there in shorts and drinking an iced drink.”

You peered around Heeseung to the second oldest, who was leaning on the counter and enjoying his drink, “Do you want some food?”

Jungwon shook his head for Jay, “No. You eat.”

“I was just asking…” you trailed off as Sunoo joined the rest of you in the kitchen. 

“Consider your health though. You haven’t eaten since this morning,” Jake said and you felt your cheeks heat at their thoughtfulness. 

Sunoo stood next to the table, tying the front part of his hair into a small ponytail that resembled the sprout of a plant. “That’s crazy,” he said, commenting on how good the meal smelled.

No one said anything in response, knowing that he was searching for someone to offer him food. 

“You can have a bite,” Heeseung offered after swallowing his mouthful. Sunoo thought for a moment before leaning towards the camera, squishing his cheeks up into a smile. You laughed at the cute sight.

After finishing your serving, you gathered the remaining food into your bowl, “Is Sangmi-unniei in our room?” 

“I think so,” Sunoo said. “If not, she’s probably showering.”

You hummed in affirmation and stood up, taking the bowl with you. After bidding the boys good night, you waved at the camera at the end of the table, “See you soon!” And as you left the room, you could distantly hear the others chuckling inaudibly at your exit.

The sight of Sunghoon still sitting on the living room floor, phone in his hands stopped you though. 

You peered down at the warm bowl of food in your hands. Should you offer him the ramyeon as a peace offering? What if he hasn’t eaten?

Your mouth moved before you could stop it, “Hey Sunghoon-oppa.” His head whipped up, surprise written on his face. His eyes were so beautiful, it made your heart race. Like it was trying to beat out of your chest and reach him. You tilted the dish in your hand towards him, “Have you eaten?”

He shook his head. He still appeared too stunned to speak.

“Would you like this?”

He blinked quickly, closing his mouth which had fallen open a bit without either of you noticing. “Yeah… um–” he slid to the side a bit, “Sit here.”

So you did. Without breaking eye contact with him, you handed him the ramyeon, and for a moment, you watched him eat in silence. To put it simply, you were happier sitting on the tile floor and watching the boy you were in love with eat than you had been in the past two weeks. 

Your mind spiraled as you sat close to him, knees brushing, and a warm feeling filled your heart. The emotion of yearning was one you’d become familiar with recently, and now, that finally had come to a stop. By looking at him, you could imagine a future again, one with lazy mornings together and a life where instead of worrying about ruining his career, you would help him grow. You would take it one day at a time because you loved him. 

The glass bowl clinked as Sunghoon set it down on the tile. He wiped his mouth. You tried to not stare at his lips. You’ve kissed those lips before–

“Is that my hoodie?” 

Taken by surprise at his question, you gaped at him for a split second before you moved to stare down and brush the front of the clothing off.

“Yeah um… I’m sorry,” you moved to take it off before you remembered that you weren’t wearing anything underneath. “I’ll give it back to you. I just didn’t have anything else really to wear. Well, I did, but nothing I would want to sleep in–”

He cut you off with a small laugh, “It’s okay YN-ie. You can keep it if you want.”

“Ah,” you tucked your knees up to your chest. “Wait, really?”

Sunghoon nodded, “I meant what I said that night.” He looked at you, really looked at you (it felt like he was staring straight through your soul) and you softened at the adoration in his eyes. “I want you to be happy.”

You sniffled, “Over a sweatshirt?”

“Even over a sweatshirt.” You shared a laugh. 

“I actually wanted to talk to you…” you trailed off, gathering your courage before speaking again, “About that night.”

Sunghoon’s face fell, “I know. I overstepped and it was out of nowhere and I’m sorry–”

“Don’t apologize,” you said hushedly. Your hand shook as you reached to grab him, “I’m sorry.” Sunghoon was shaking his head in disagreement, but you chose to ignore it. “I love you,” you were speaking in hushed tones now, “I love you more than I’ve loved anyone in my life and it’s so scary,” the last part was weak in volume but strong in emotion. You could only hope that Sunghoon heard it. “It was wrong of me to shut you down like that after letting you kiss me and, Hoon– Hoon I… I want to try.”

The tears came quickly to your eyes and his free thumb reached up to wipe the water under your eyes away. You didn’t miss the way his own shone with a new kind of happiness, though.

“Don’t apologize. You’re allowed to feel however you want and I don’t want you to think that it’s not okay to say what you want.” You leaned into his touch, relishing in the way it felt like it set your skin on fire, “But I don’t want you to rush anything.”

“I’m not rushing–”

“Have you thought about us?” His question caught you off-guard. “All of those worries from before… are they gone?”

“I’m tired of pretending that I don’t need you, Hoon.”

He sighed shakily, leaning his head back, “I don’t want you to regret this.”

“Sunghoon-ssi, would you like to be my boyfriend.” It wasn’t a question. Instead, it was more of a statement, and it made him look back down at you instantly. There was something you couldn’t read in his eyes and his lack of response made nerves begin to grow in your chest. Doubt riddled your head, but you remained confident. Disregarding your fears was a difficult feat, and you were doing your best to be brave to him. 

“You can’t just ask that,” the whiny tone in his voice was so rare for him, and it made you laugh. “I’m being serious, YN-ah.”

You closed your mouth, but the smile didn’t go anywhere, “Right, right. Sorry.”

He blinked slowly at you, “I’m asking for the sake of both of us. I don’t want you to make a mistake you regret and I don’t want to be hurt again.”

“I’ve spent the past two weeks thinking about nothing except for you,” you whispered to him. His thoughts pulled at your heartstrings a bit and you couldn’t believe that you’d neglected showing Sunghoon the care and love he deserved for so long. “And if I’ve regretted anything… it’s been not trying to do anything.” You rested your forehead against his, like the first time you’d both confessed to each other. “I want you and I’ll spend as long as it takes to prove that to you,” you said, pausing to take a deep breath. “I made a mistake and I want to make up for it.”

He kissed you. Sitting in the empty living room, on the floor with the laughter of the other members drifting in from the kitchen, and it made you melt. 

It was just as messy as the first one, but it made you feel connected to him. The almost bruising possessiveness that he used to press his lips against yours made your stomach weak, and you desperately curled your hands into his hair to hold him against you. And at the touch of your fingers on his scalp, Sunghoon nibbled at your bottom lip and you almost groaned at the sensation. 

It was over sooner than you’d like. He pulled back, probably to satisfy the need to breathe. His warm eyes were on you instantly and shyness immediately overtook you. You looked down to try and hide the blush on your cheeks and the way you giggled to yourself. 

One of Sunghoon’s fingers hooked under your chin to pull you back up to him and you were met with the sight of him smiling softly at your excitement. 

“You want to?” he quietly asked, and you were so distracted from the kiss that it took you a moment to realize that he was talking about what you’d said before. 

You nodded, “Of course I do.”

“Then you can start by being my girlfriend.” Sunghoon’s smile grew to the point where his fangs were on display. You pretended to pout.

“I asked you first.”

He groaned, pulling you towards him and you shuffled with him to cuddle into his chest.

“I would love to be your girlfriend, Sunghoon-oppa.” And, god, when was the last time you saw him this happy?

“You realize this is the second time we’ve made out in front of the cameras?” You glanced over at the camera sitting on the floor next to you both and then at the one in the top corner of the room. Embarrassed, you buried your face into his neck, inhaling the calming scent that was Park Sunghoon. 

“At least the one on the floor is turned off,” you said, voice muffled into his skin. Sunghoon laughed, although you weren’t sure if it was from what you said or the way your lips tickled his skin. 

“It’s okay,” he added, “maybe they’ll use this footage and it’ll let everyone know that you’re taken now.”

You pulled back to look at his stupidly wide grin and you giggled before slapping his chest playfully, “More like it’ll make all of those fangirls back off of you.”

Sunghoon sighed, “I love you.”

“I love you,” you said back, almost immediately. He stretched one of his legs out from the criss-cross position he’d been sitting in and his foot hit the empty bowl of ramyeon. It clattered loudly, making you jump and look over your shoulder at it. “Ugh…” you groaned as you pushed yourself up into a standing position. 

Sunghoon frowned up at you, “Where'er you going?” You made a gesture at the ramyeon. 

“That,” you said as the boy also stood up, taking the bowl with him, “Was supposed to be for Sangmi.”

He let out a small ‘Ah’ of realization, “But you gave it to me.”

“Mhm,” you said as you both walked slowly in the direction of where everyone else was. “I gave it to you. Boyfriend.” And the way he grinned at his new title only confirmed to you, that your worries were no longer anything to be worried about.

마리셀의 노트 , hehe first full length fic! this is the first part in a series that shows how each of the members joined the relationship and we’re starting with hoon😁🥹 some of this probably doesn’t make sense but it’s only because there’s a lot of stuff that goes down in I-LAND!! same goes with how quickly you n hoon get together… more background that will hopefully be showed in the I-LAND chapters💕💗 I’ll try to post some drabbles with the other members soon, but no promises lol🤷‍♀️ until then, thank you so much for the support I’ve received so far! it means the world to me💐🌷