#disclaimer that if you use a ton of epithets because you love them that's fine and valid obv

[feedthefandomfest]

what's one of your pet peeves when reading fics? mine is when people use 'orbs' instead of just saying eyes 😮‍💨

Omg are you me 😂 Although I've noticed a dramatic dip in the use of orbs over the years... So much so that I wonder if I'd respond differently now?? Like this wave of nostalgia for the mid-aughts.

Persistent overuse of epithets is prob the issue I run into most these days. I understand why people feel the need, especially when writing a scene with too many characters who use the same pronouns, or describing complex interactions where you have to clarify who is doing what, but a clunky epithet can really take me out of a scene as a reader. Other people have explained better than I can, but if you're in a particular character's POV who knows the person well, suddenly referring to them as "the brunette" ("the blond man," "the tall girl," etc) is something I find super jarring.

And I'm saying all that as someone who does use epithets pretty freely! But almost always for comic effect or because it suits the situation/character voice (like a character sarcastically referring to someone as "the resident genius" or something). They're purposeful, and not just there to avoid repeating a pronoun or name.

Other than that, it's mostly formatting peeves? Massive spaces between paragraphs I can only tolerate for short fics. Idk why but it's fatiguing to the eyes to leap the chasms of white 🤷🏻

[omgmarysuebs-blog]

One Piece OC | Gekido Oroka review

So here we go with our first review of this beautiful trainwreck. Let me just point out that her long gun has scars. Idek what to say to that but let’s take a look at her profile.

"Call me "Monster" if you want. That just don't fucking affect me."

How supremely edgy. You already know what kind of character this is gonna be. GENERAL INFORMATION Name: Oroka Last Name: Gekido Complete Name: Gekido Oroka Japanese Name: 激怒 愚か All fine. Nicknames: Bloody | Vampire | Oro-Chan | Monster from Mugoi | Chef (By Solider's) Epithet: "Bloody Vampire" "Bloody" is not a nickname. And let's just say that Vampires in the One Piece OC fandom are overused and stupid. Age: 6 (child) | 16 | 23 | 30 (age when she will die) Birth: 31th October 1476 Astrological Sign: Scorpio Handicap: Dextrocardia How is this exactly a handicap to her? You explain literally nothing about how it affects her. Also how wonderfully edgy to have your birthday on halloween. First Appearance: Memory Arc (My Own Arc | As Flashback) Seiyuu: (wip) APPEARANCE Spiece: Human Gender: Female Bloodtype: X (A in One Piece world) Hair: Red short hair who arrived on her shoulders. We noticed that almost every OC this person has has got red hair and almost the same hairstyle too. So I smell self insert. Eyes: Yellow eyes with a circle around her iris Height: 1,55cm Weight: (wip) Birth Marks: She have an birth mark of her family in the back of her neck Scar: Oroka an a scar on her nose, her left leg, and right arm Where do these come from? Tattoo: /// Makeup: /// Accessories: She have a medallion with the photo of her and her sister Akane Jewels: /// If she doesn't have tats or makeup or whatever just don't add it. It's unnecessary. Others: She have small boobs, and she have her teeth like vampire Why is it important if her boobs are big or small??? We can see it on the picture and it's just not relevant. This happens a lot in the OP fandom where people feel the need to explain in detail what kind of proportions their characters have just because the canon females have giant boobs. Your OC also isn't anymore special because she has small boobs unlike the others. STATUS Affiliation: Princess of Mugoi Island (former); Solider of Heiwana Island ( andylookout Island ) Occupations: Princess of Mugoi Island (before); Commander; Solider Another princess backstory and a tragic one too. It just keeps getting better! Bounty: 1.000 (At 6 Years Old) | 10.000 (At 10 Years Old) | 50.000.000 (At 14 Years Old) | 100.000.000 (At 16 years old) Bounty Disclaimer: Alive Where does this bounty come from? It never gets explained not even in her history. And giving your characters a bounty when they haven't even turned like 12 is kinda ripping off Robin. Btw don't pull a Sanji with the Bounty Disclaimer. INFO COMBAT Devil Fruit: Ketsueki Ketsueki no Mi (Blood Fruit) Type: Paramecia Who she eat it?: Forced to eat it by Osoro her father when she was 5 years old Alright first off: the goddamn Blood fruit is so overused on edgy OCs it hurts. And all OCs with this fruit are somehow extremely similar in both backstory and personality. It's always cliche af and why in hell would her own father force her to it something so valueable? Why wouldn't he eat it himself instead if he's so evil? And WHY AT 5 YEARS?? Weapon: She have a lot weapon, but her main is a long gun Capacities: (wip) Force: (wip) Weakness: Sea Stone, and Sea Water Haki: Busoshoku Haki; Kenbunshoku no Haki~ We never get to know how she got both Haki. You don't just learn these on your own, who trained her? Who taught her? Also I'd love to see One Piece OCs with more weaknesses than just the standard ones. Give your character a bit more depth. ATTACKS Brace yourselves. This shit is insane. Bloody Wings: Can create wings with her blood fruit. She can use them for flying, but she only can fly 30 minutes with her bloody wings. 30 fucking minutes. Robin can only fly for something around 5 seconds. Why is it such a popular thing to give your OC the ability to fly?? If you want your character to be able to fly give them a wings fruit or bird zoan fruit idc. But don't do this, it's overpowered. Bloody Body: Can transform her whole body into blood. She don't use it a lot, because for Oroka, that not useful How is that not useful?? Also this is a paramecia fruit. Your character wouldn't be able to turn her body into blood or whatever because it's not a logia fruit. Get your facts straight. Bloody Tornado: Can create a tornado of blood. She can do small tornado, large tornado, or big tornado. Her big tornado blood is always very strong. Wouldn't she die of bloodloss? I mean a whole tornado out of only her blood is a bit extreme don't you think? Or is the blood just appearing out of thin air? I thought it's her own. Bloody Clone: Can create a bloody clone of herself. Even if that a clone, the clone won't have the color of her user, but will have the color of blood. Of course. More overpowered bs. Bloody Whip: Can create blood whip. She use it like a normal whip. Bloody Shield: Create with a blood shield for protect herself. How does that work??? Things can go through blood quite easily unless you can harden your blood which would be just kawaii. Bloody Bullets: Attack her enemy with bloody bullets. Sometimes, she try to use Haki on it for make her bullets more strong.~ Why do you even need bloody bullets if you have tons of weapons and guns on you anyway? Decide on one thing. Bloody Sucking: Can take the blood of her enemy, and absorb it! Oroka never do this attack, she do it one time, and that was dangerous for herself too. She can't control this.~ Just no. And what do you mean she can't control it? Will she go insane with a horrible thirst for blood and then shimmer in the moonlight twilightstyle? And that tilde is just so sugoi. Teehee look at me I'm so strong and psycho owo ORIGIN Native Island: Mugoi Island - New World Gekido Osoro: Osoro is the king of Mugoi Island but also the father of Oroka. Osoro just consider Oroka like an object, and object who have to help him for having the power he want. He just want his child is strong and clever. He always call Oroka "peace of shit" and all bad nicknames. Oroka loved her father when she was a child, until she have 6 years old, where she start to hate him a lot. She already to try to kill him, but she kill her own sister accidentally because of him. Osoro also did a lot of scar on Oroka body, like in her nose, arm and leg, because Oroka never listen him, so for punish, she do the horrible thing to cut one part of Oroka body, but Akane always try to stop him when she can. If Oroka can't kill Osoro one day, she will never be in peace when she will die. So that's where the scars come from. Still wtf is this? Again if Osoro wants to be powerful so bad why didn't he eat the fruit himself? Also you don't just suddenly start to ultimately hate your parents by the age of freaking 6 and then just try to KILL them. Like holy shit this is not how kids work. Btw if he wants Oroka to be oh so powerful why did he try to cut one part of her body and just generally treat her like dog shit which would make her more and more handicapped? Gekido Nikui: Nikui is the wife of Osoro so the queen of Mugoi Island, and also the mother of Oroka. Like Osoro, she consider her own child like an object who have to help them to have power. She only do her childs for they have an object who have to be strong and help them, that always makes Oroka angry. But like Osoro too, when she was a child, she loved her mother Nikui, until her 6 years old too. For Oroka, she need to be killed like Osoro, she is bad for this world, and her own child. If Oroka can't kill Nikui one day, she will never be in peace when she will die like for Osoro. Same as before. Kids don't just randomly start to hate their parents at age 6 so much that they want to kill them. Kids around that age don't even really understand what's going on around them and just want to love and be loved by their parents. Gekido Akane: Akane is the big sister of Oroka, who is also for her, her real family. Akane is a very good sister with Oroka, always kind and here to help or protect her. Akane hate a lot Nikui and Osoro, so if they do horrible things to Oroka, she won't hesited to talk bad to her parents. Oroka love a lot her sister, she was always with her when she was child, because she was scared of her parents, but also she always smiled with her sister. Oroka will sadly kill Akane accidently because of Osoro who will use her as a shield when Oroka wanted to kill Osoro. The only regret she have is that she kill her own sister, even that not her fault. So Oroka was 5 years old when she was forced to eat the Blood fruit and at age 6 she was already capable of killing another human being?? What?? She's 6. She probably wouldn't even know wtf she's doing. And why did nobody stop her when she tried to kill her father? It's a 6 year old girl!! How is she even a threat??? You could just throw her out the window with one arm. Gekido Jihi: Jihi is the little brother of Oroka, they never meet, Oroka just don't know that she have a little brother, because he is born when she left her Home Island when Akane died. She will know that she have a brother when she will have 16 years old, but Oroka just don't care of him. Jihi hate her sister, and for him, she is a shame for Gekido family, he also think this for Osoro and Nikui. He will be very happy if his sister die one day. Spidy: Spidy is the little spider of Oroka when she was a child, she find Spidy at the forest with her big sister Akane. When Oroka see her for the first time, she love this little spider a LOT, and wanted to adopt her. She give to her little spider the name of "Spidy" and will always take care of her ! Spidy will live only one year with Oroka, and will die at the 6th Birthday of Oroka because of Nikui who kill Spidy...just because Nikui don't want that Oroka have empathy with animal, insect and humans... Ok first off insects are animals but aside from that "Spidy" is like the most uncreative name for a spider I've ever heard. The whole point of Spidy is to give Oroka more pity-points so that we feel even more bad for her. Oroka Grandparents from Osoro Side: She never see her grandparents from Osoro side, but she know that they are like Osoro. Oroka don't even want to see them one day, she hope a lot that they are dead. Oroka Grandparents from Nikui Side: Oroka see her grandparents only one or two time when she was a little child, and she love them a lot. She see them when she was 3-4 years old. She remember that her grandparents try to save her and Akane from Nikui and Osoro, and they wanted that Akane and Oroka have a good life, a good childhood, and all..Her grandparents never hated her, even if she turn into a psycho, they know that Oroka always have her good side when she was a child when they see what happen to her. Time pass, and Oroka didn't see them since she was a child, but always remember them when she grow up. She would like to see them again, because even if she don't show her feelings to others, she still love a lot her grandparents...Will she see them one day ? What stopped them from taking these two little kids with them? Why did they stop to try saving them when they clearly saw that Oroka was slowly going batshit insane and beaten by her parents? Why does Oroka not know where they are? And why are these grandparents so lovely and nice and their daughter Nikui such a bitch? Story: Oroka born on Mugoi Island on a 31th October. She is the princess of Mugoi Island and the child of the king Osoro and the queen Nikui. Since she born, Oroka never wanted to be a princess, she hate that and all princess things a lot. She just wanted to be free, like others peoples. But the only things interested her parents about her, that making her strong, powerful, clever, and the best child, only because they want to have power, something Oroka didin't want like her big sister Akane, but even if her parents are horrible, she loved her. Until one day, at her 6th birthday, she started to hate a parents a lot, for they, they are horrible, and need to go to hell, she also think that someone need to stop them before they do horrible things to others peoples. She stared to be crazy and got murderous drive, so she try to kill her own father Osoro, but Osoro use Akane as a shield to protect himself, that mean that Oroka kill her sister accidentally, the only person who was important for her. For her, that was her fault, only her fault if Akane died. She was very in rage in front Osoro for what he did, she tell to him that one day, one day she will pay for what all he did to her and her sister Oroka, and that she will go to hell him and his wife, and she go away from the Island because she can't stay here anymore. And all that happened on her 6th birthday on ONE day. Again, you don't love your parents the one day and hate them the next and want to kill them and want them to go to hell. What do you even mean by stopping them before they do horrible things to others?? What other people? How does she manage to escape too? She's a child, people should be able to catch her easily. After that Osoro do everything that Oroka got a bounty, she have 5.000 berrys on her head, and when Oroka see that, she didn't care, because she will kick or kill people who want to kill her or give her to Osoro or the Navy. But Oroka last name was not on her bounty poster, and that makes her happy because Gekido's are not her family, and for her she is not a part of them. I thought she had a bounty of 1.000 as stated above? Whats true now? Why does she not care if people wanna kill her? She's fucking 6 she would be scared as hell especially since it sounds like she never left the island before that. At her 10th birthday, 4 years after leaving Mugoi Island, Oroka got 10.000 berry on her face, people started to be scared of her, and try to hide they self if they see Oroka. She was always this little girl when she was 6 years old, she didn't change, well, she change, but in the worst way. If she need food or money, she don't heisted to steal people, if people don't give her what she want, she start to act crazy. When people see that she have the Blood Fruit, people start to call her "Bloody Girl" because for them, this is what she is. So she gets a raise on every birthday of hers. How convenient, the marines are so nice with their gifts. Where does that bounty come from, what did she do? And "Bloody girl" is just so ...cringy and cliche my head hurts. Btw she's 10, why is she such a big threat to other adults? Oh, because her devil fruit is so powerful of course, sorry I forgot. At her 14th birthday, she got again a new bounty : 1.000.000. But this time, she was angry, because she see her last name on her bounty poster now, that was not only Oroka now, but "Gekido Oroka". The thing that she don't know, that Osoro want her back, always for the same reason like at the past. She started to think at this moment that the date of her birthday is always a cursed day, with bad luck and all. But this is not always true. Another bounty, again: why? And oh how edgy, she hates her family and her last name so so much, those meanie marines how could they?! At her 16th birthday, she was on a Island called Heiwana, a type of Island she hate a lot, because that was an Kingdom Island. She will meet in this Island someone called Koshiro, she won't like him a lot, but the thing that she don't know, that when she will see this man, she don't know that she will have something that her own parents never give to her. (need to write it again) Yeah you sure as hell do. Why would she visit an island she doesn't like? Who tf is Koshiro? And let me guess what you're talking about is love. Absolutely didn’t see that one coming. PERSONALITY Laugh: Mouhahahahah ! Only the lamest villain laugh of all time. Positive Traits: Can be a nice person if we know her | Can have normal feelings like everybody sometimes -wip- Negatives Traits: Love killing people or torturing them | Never really happy | Never smile normally (this is SUPER rare, like impossible) | Act like an child when she want to make someone suffer | Have no empathy | Can't Lie -wip- This is so terribly edgy I cut myself. She sounds like Sasuke honestly. Normal feelings and can be a nice person but is a torture loving psycho at the same time? What? This is so bland idek. Likes: Blood | Torture | Cherry | Strawberries | Weapons | Having fun with her victims | Fight | Read Books | Insects | Weird Things | Be Free -wip- Hates: Hate people who want power | Hate kingdoms | Hate nature | Hate herself | Hate her parents | hate joking | Hate when someone joke on her | Hate when people call her a child | Hate when people compared her as a Gekido | Hate to do nothing | Hate dress | Hate shoes will long heels | Hate Make Up | Hate Treason | Hate when someone tell her orders and tell her what to do | Hate romantics things | Hate Coffee | Hate Tea | Hate showing her body | Hate showing her scars | Hate showing her Birth Mark | Hate when people call her "Bloody Pancake" or "Cherry Pancake" | Hate cleaning somethings | Hate some type of people | Hate to be weak | Cooking | The smell of smoking So she hates everything under the sun then. I also noticed a pattern in this persons OCs, they all seem to hate showing off their bodies or scars or whatever so the self insert smell intensifies. And "hate some type of people"? What kind?? And I'm pretty sure noone would call her bloody pancake if she's oh so scary and whatnot. Favorite Food: Cherry Hated Food: Everything about meat, fish and chicken food Favorite Color: Red Hated Color: Pink Favorite Drink: Cherry Juice | Coffee (only when that prepared by Kyoshi) Hated Drink: Milk Favorite Animal: Nope (she prefer insects) Hated Animal: Bunnies INSECTS ARE ANIMALS. And of course she loves everything red like cherries and shit and hates everything girly because thats not badass. Favorite Season: Winter Hated Season: Summer Favorite Flower: Red Rose Favorite Number: 666 This is a cliche as it can get. 666? REALLY?? Intelligence: -wip- Stamina: Good, but can be bad sometimes because of her Dextrocardia So here's a tiny bit of info about her Dextrocardia but it still gives NO insight to how much it actually affects her in battle or everyday life. Observation: Very Good Mental Strength: Good, but she have a psycho mental, so her mental can be good and turn bad as a psycho Then it's not good. It's terrible even. She's a psycho so she's pretty much insane and has NO mental strength left or at least she shouldn't if she's really the way you claim her to be. Determination: Full Determination Trust: Don't trust anyone Humor: She have more creepy stuff humor Patience: Depend of the situation, she can be totally calm, and start to get very angry in any second if someone broke her patience Laziness: She is not lazy, if she is bored, she always need to do something Pervert: Oroka is totally not pervert, she is a 100% asexual Habits: Always love to collect weapons, and also sometimes collect insects. Dream: /// Fear: Philophobia (Fear of Love) Sleeping Rhythm: She go to bed at midnight and wake up at 3 pm, she don't sleep a lot I thought her dream was to kill her parents? And why the fear of love? Where does that come from? Btw if she goes to sleep at midnight and wakes up at 3 PM she gets a ton of sleep. I think you wanted to say AM, right? I hope so. Smells like: Blood Urgh. Sexuality: Asexual Love: Nobody RELATIONSHIP STARDUST D. FAMILY Stardust D.Koshiro: Oroka didn't like Koshiro at the beginning, and never trust him, before, she think that Koshiro was like her father Osoro, but with time, she see that no. If Oroka is the commander of the army of Heiwana Island, that because of Koshiro who trust her a lot. Koshiro will be a little strict and direct with Oroka, and will be not gentle when they are training. That was hard, but with time, Oroka consider Koshiro like a father. He love her as a daughter. When did she become a commander?? And why on an island she hates too? Miyuki: (wip) Stardust D.Léo: (wip) Stardust D.Kosuke: (wip) Raid: (wip) MY OCs Teki Kyoshi: Kyoshi is a big fan of Oroka, she like her a lot, and love how she fight and all. She admire her a lot because of her courage, that because of Oroka if Kyoshi wanted to join her and her army. Oroka think that Kyoshi was very annoying with her at the beginning, but at the end, they start to be good friend, that will be also the first friend that Oroka will have. -wip- Why would anyone want to be around Oroka? She is known to be a psycho and scared by many so why do these people want to be friends with her or even let her in the army?? I'm sorry but handicapped psychos aren't exactly allowed in the army at least in the real world because they're deemed as not capable since they’re unreliable, Koichi: -wip- Hiromi Yoku: She know a little Yoku, an important person of Memory Island, Oroka think nothing about her, but Yoku think that Oroka is a very good solider for Heiwana Island. Hiromi Hanako: Oroka is wary with Hanako, even she know that Hanako is a very good person, she have her own reason to be wary. -wip- Hiromi Erika: With Erika and Oroka, that very special with them. Nobody know what or how is they relationship. Only some people of the past know what is the special thing about them. What? Why is their relationship such a secret? Why does nobody know about it if it's so special? Byoki : Oroka don't like her, because she is evil, and someone who is bad. She know that Byoki will do bad things to Memory Island. Byoki also hate Oroka, for her, that will be better if Oroka die. PEOPLES OCs Tell me if you want an relationship with Oroka, but she is not part of what happen on OP story, but before Erika is born~ No thank you. I'll keep my OCs to myself. And this is how not to make an One Piece OC. Our advice for you: Rewrite her story. It's nonsense that a 6 year old girl does all these things out of the blue and just because you call her a psycho doesn't justify any of it. It still makes no sense at all. Tone down the attacks and her powers and give her more weaknesses. I think you can do a lot of cool stuff with a Blood fruit but it only ever gets used by cringy 14 year olds who want to pump out edgy OCs to make them look super badass. Tone it down with the bloody shit as well. Especially her favourites and her nicknames. Your character can be a psycho or whatever but give them a bit more depth than just blood and violence and teehee I love torturing uwu. Give her more reasons to become as twisted as she is. People and especially kids don't just go crazy over night, no matter what crazy shit happens to them in one day.