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Pokemon OC | Aaliyah Hale Grace review

So here’s the next kawaii little edgy girl we’ve found, this time it’s a Pokemon OC and everything about her is just... my god, so stupid. But read for yourselves.

"They say people work through their stages of grief. I was thick into the anger phase. Depression was supposed to be next. Then, if one was normal, acceptance. They say it's the healthy, sane thing to do. It's too bad I wasn’t either of those things." -- Excerpt from The Hurricane Child (Hale's Origin Story) Well, that sounds... depressing. Rather dark for a Pokemon OC don't you think? But I mean fine, let’s not get too ahead of ourselves. As the only pair of twins in tiny Pallet Town, the Grace sisters were always a bit of an anomaly. As the more outgoing of the two, it was Rayn who inherited all the Trainer genes in the family, and left for her journey at eleven. She made it all the way to the Kanto League Elite Four, but ultimately lost to Lance. Her second journey took her to Sinnoh. While her sister was creating waves in the Sinnoh League, Hale was perfectly content working as Professor Oak's assistant. She had the same ambition and pride as her sister, but channeled them in other activities closer to home. However, one day, when she receives a call from the Sinnohan authorities, informing her that her sister has gone missing and is presumed dead, Hale's world turns upside down. How do these people know that her sister has gone missing? She's a traveller and on an adventure so she usually wouldn't stay too long in one place right? And she set off on her own. Why is she presumed dead? And why do these "Sinnohan authorities" call her and not her mother or something? Hale is just a child. Due to a lack of leads, evidence or witnesses, Rayn's case is closed and investigation concluded. Furious, Hale sets off to Sinnoh herself, armed with only a PokeDex and one of Oak's test subjects as a Starter, desperate for answers. Alone in a strange, foreign land, Hale realizes there are secrets to her sister's disappearance that go all the way to the top -- and if she wants to know what happened to her sister, she might have to beat the truth out of Cynthia herself. First off why is she even presumed dead if there are no evidences or witnesses whatsoever? And cases like hers don't just get closed like that. Why did she take a test subject from Prof. Oak as a starter and not a normal pokemon? And why the heck does she wanna beat Cynthia so bad? What does Cynthia have to do with that??   Personality: Growing up with a sister like Rayn, who excelled at everything, Hale always lingered in the shadows. Of course, this was the way she preferred it. While she came out of her shell a little after Rayn left on her journey, Hale was always a little more subdued than her twin sister, but much more resourceful and tough-as-nails. If Rayn was gold, Hale was iron. Hale's pride is both her greatest strength and her fatal flaw. From a young age, she was taught that life doesn't owe you anything; if you want something, you have to work at it. It's this lesson that shapes her as a person, a trainer and -- later in life -- a Champion. However, it's this same trait that has landed her in countless messes, some of which she wasn't able to sweet-talk her way out of. Hale is incredibly self-aware, knowing exactly what her strengths are and where she needs to work harder. If there's something she wants, she will go after it with a frightening ruthlessness, no matter who she has to step on to get there. Blue sometimes refers to her as the world's most useless sociopath, as she has an almost-entrepreneurial criminal mindset when it comes to certain things, but will entirely fail at everything else. She isn't entirely lacking in emotion, however; the people she cares most about are those who have managed to worm their way into her inner-circle, while everyone else is expendable. I can't see Blue ever saying something like that and also criminal mindset? I mean... ok. The rest is fine though. Sign Language Hale was taught sign language by her mother's mute Gardevoir, Skittles, who was very strict about using them to communicate. While her mother was fluent in it, having spent her entire life with the Gardevoir, Hale would sometimes forget and speak out loud, which would result in Skittles tripping her psychically. Hale was forced to practice with Skittles every day, until it came naturally to her. These days, this is what she uses to talk with Red and communicate battle strategies to Ozzie. Why would a mute Gardevoir need to know how to use sign language? Pokemon only ever say their own name in the anime or just make weird noises in the games. They don't need sign language. Why would the Gardevoir force her to learn this and even punish her when she forgot to use it? I see no sense in this. Btw Red is not mute and she isn't either, she could still talk normally with him even if HE was. And why does she need sign language to talk to her pokemon? Why does Ozzie know sign language??

Music Hale is a pretty good singer. She doesn't have the skills of an opera singer, but she can hit a few decently high notes. She also carries around a small harmonica that she's had since the age of three. Her team is very fond of it, and one of their favourite downtime actitivies is gathering around her to hear her play. Glory also joins her sometimes, tweeting along to the music.

Battling Despite the fact that she never wanted to be a Trainer, Hale finds that she's a natural at battling. Strategies and team-building comes fairly easily to her, and her ability to communicate with her Pokemon without spoken commands makes her unpredictable to her opponents. Even Cynthia, who she has a pretty antagonistic relationship with, grudgingly respects her skills in this field. So she even communicates with them with sign language during battle? Are the pokemon supposed to always look at her for commands during a fight? That's pretty unpractical. And why does Cynthia hold such a grudge against her? Pokemon Team: Oh my god get prepared ya’ll. Jason [ team member ] Garchomp Jason was one of Professor Oak's lab experiments, a trade between him and Professor Rowan to study dragons from each other's regions, Oak having sent him a Dratini in exchange. When Hale sets out for Sinnoh, Professor Oak gives her the Gible as a Starter along with his blessings. Jason and Hale have a rough start, but it develops into an unbreakable bond, the two considering each other family. As the oldest and strongest member, Jason keeps the whole team in line, with the others following his orders as much as they do Hale's. Jason is the team's Ace. He has a strong sense of justice and will always be the voice of reason whenever Hale decides to do any... less-than-reputable things. So the two trade pokemon to study them but then he just decides to give it to Hale instead? Wheres the point in that? I also think that a dragon type for a starter is a little bit extreme but whatever. Ferro [ team member ] Lucario Ferro was the result of a trade-gone-wrong and Hale ended up with a Riolu she never really wanted. She tried to return him, but upon running his details through the database, she was told he'd changed hands so much, it was impossible to match him with any one single trainer. He'd just fallen through the cracks and was forgotten. Feeling terrible, Hale decides to give him a permanent home. Ferro adores his trainer, seeing her as his savior and mistress. The hero-worship makes Hale uncomfortable, but she loves him all the same. Ferro is the team's Brawler. After an accident where his chest-spike is ripped off, Hale jams the Lucarionite in there to prevent him from bleeding out, after which he remains in semi-permanent mega-form. Okay so this is the biggest bullshit. Alright how did this trade go wrong exactly? Why would nobody want a Riolu?? They're pretty damn popular actually. And now for the worst part: the Lucarionite-incident. WTF is wrong with you that you just ram that thing into its chest and then just LEAVE IT THERE instead of idk going to the pokemon centre to get him healed/saved or anything like that??? There's a reason you can only use these stones once in battle, it's because it's super exhausting for the pokemon to be in this state. This Lucario would be on his knees all the time. And semi-permament mega-form? How wonderfully kawaii and overpowered. What was going through this persons mind when they came up with this? That poor pokemon. Btw how do you rip off a chest spike... sounds pretty stupid really. Indra [ team member ] Luxray Indra was captured as a Shinx and trained to perform in a circus. However, he was too feral and unpredictable to control, which resulted in the death of his trainer. Hale happened to be in town just as the circus was about to leave and the ringmaster literally paid her to take the Shinx. Indra is the wildest, most dangerous of Hale's team members, and the older he grows, the more she fears he'll snap. Eventually, she strikes a deal with him: as long as he doesn't kill them all in their sleep, he can stay with her and grow stronger. Else, she'll leave him behind and his skills will never improve. Indra is the team's Wallbreaker. Eventually he comes to terms with his trainer, and while they'll never be best-buds, there's mutual respect between them. Why would you take a pokemon that has killed it's own trainer before? And one that could literally kill all of you any second. What a responsible person Hale is, right? Indra is clearly not made to be in a pokemon team. And why does every member need to have such an edgy story and not just "got caught on this route"? But of course that wouldn't be special snowflakey enough. Glory [ team member --deceased-- ] Pidgeot Glory was the first member of the team that Hale actually caught -- well, not exactly. Hale wanted a Pokemon that could fly her around (a dragon is not comfortable for long journeys) and decided on a Starly, but her aim was so off, the pokeball ended up catching a Pidgey instead. Glory is incredibly high-maintenance and will straight-up refuse orders she deems as "inconvenient", but she also has a strong maternal instinct and eventually comes to see the team as her fledglings. Glory is injured badly during Hale's championship showdown against Cynthia, brought down by Cynthia's Garchomp. Hale chooses to wait until the match ends to take her to the Pokemon Center, by which time it's too late and Glory succumbs to her injuries. Hale has never forgiven herself for putting her victory over her Pokemon's life, which is why the Championship title means nothing to her. This trainer doesn't seem to care much about her pokemon, does she. First Ferro, then Indra and now this. But hurray it's the first pokemon she's actually caught herself! So to make it a special snowflake it had to die and to also make Hale more edgy because pff the championship title now is useless to her. What is happening, I thought Pokemon is happy and not so extremely dark. Ariel [ team member ] Togekiss Ariel is a gift from Red, who adopts her from the Johto Daycare Center, after he hears of Hale's Championship tragedy. Still reeling from the loss of one Pokemon and having lost complete faith in herself as a good trainer, Ariel turns out to be a miracle at a time when Hale desperately needs one. Hale is incredibly protective of Ariel, terrified that she'll lose her if she ever lets her fight, but Ariel turns out to be more than capable of holding her own, even relishing in the thrill of battle. Ariel is the team's Tank. Despite her adorable appearance and personality, she earns quite a reputation as a harbinger of doom whenever Hale releases her into a fight. Another pokemon she didn't catch herself. How nice of Red right? Inari [ team member ] Ninetails Inari is a bit of a legend in Sinnoh -- not only are Ninetales a rare species for the region, a shiny Ninetales is one of a kind. Hale knows Cynthia has her eye on the creature, and sets out to capture her for the sole reason of pissing her off. Of course, Inari is a fiercely proud pokemon who won't serve a trainer, but Hale manages to convince her that she's the least of all evils. Inari finds it difficult at first to find her place in the team, unused to the life of a trained Pokemon, but she and Hale manage to bond over their shared loathing of Cynthia. Inari is the team's Sweeper. There's something very mysterious about her, almost otherworldly, that creeps people out. There's a rumor going around Sinnoh that she reaps the souls of those who piss her trainer off. What is the problem with this author??? Why is Cynthia such a bitch in her book? Why would Inari hate Cynthia for trying to catch her but not Hale who literally only wants her to piss Cynthia off? Of course she needs this edgy legend about her because she's not already special enough. And every trainer OC needs at least one shiny in their team. Classic. Ozymandias [ team member ] Vaporeon Hale bumps into Ozzie when they're both lost in Eterna Forest. She spends over a week looking for his trainer, until she's finally forced to accept that he's been abandoned there, and considers taking him, as an Eevee could evolve to fill any potential weak-spot in her team. She can't understand why anyone would abandon that. When she takes him to the Center for a check-up, she learns why. He's diagnosed with a hyperactive-personality disorder that makes it hard for him to even focus on orders during the chaos of a battle, let alone follow through on them. Hale, who's always loved a challenge, devises an entirely new form of battling tailored specifically to Ozzie, relying only on hand-signals instead of words. Ozzie is the team's Wildcard. He's incredibly impulsive and prone to getting himself and his team into trouble, but escapes unscathed every time due to his incredible luck. And the last special snowflake. You can't have one normal pokemon can you? And again with the hand-signals. This pokemon has a hyperactive-personality disorder so it shouldn't be able to focus on anything for a longer time. Training it with hand-signals is like the worst you could do with such a pokemon. And I still don't understand how this is even supposed to work during battle. So that's that. Now let's look at some of her trivia. We didn't put the whole thing because it's mostly boring stuff but here are a few that stood out to us. Hale never set out to be a trainer -- she just wanted to find her sister -- which is why most of her team consists of rejects and outcasts who end up coming along for the ride, instead of pokemon she actually captured for the sole purpose of battling. This doesn't change the fact that Hale and her entire team are still one giant special snowflake. Btw if she just wanted to find her sister why did she go through the whole thing and even battles the elite four and the champion too? After story-events, she debates about giving up her place as Champion and returning to Pallet, but decides not to because Cynthia would be in charge again until a new Champion can be crowned, and Hale would rather be trapped in Sinnoh than allow that to happen. WHat is her deal with Cynthia I still don't get it! Who cares if she's Champion again I thought Hale only cared about finding her sister anyway?? She grew up admiring both Lance and Cynthia, although story-events lead to her losing her respect for both of them Lance too now? What had to happen for a person to lose their respect completely for people they originally admired a lot? EXPLAIN girl, what are you doing. Alright so our advice:

Give more explanations for her story and especially her hate for Cynthia. Tone it down with the special snowflake syndrom. Give her a few normal pokemon. And for fucks sake SAVE THAT LUCARIO. Don’t do that kind of shit people, please.

All in all just don’t make such fake edgy and creepy characters for a jolly fandom like pokemon. It just doesn’t fit and feels out of place. I could never see Hale in the official anime or in a game.

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One Piece OC | Gekido Oroka review

So here we go with our first review of this beautiful trainwreck. Let me just point out that her long gun has scars. Idek what to say to that but let’s take a look at her profile.

"Call me "Monster" if you want. That just don't fucking affect me."

How supremely edgy. You already know what kind of character this is gonna be. GENERAL INFORMATION Name: Oroka Last Name: Gekido Complete Name: Gekido Oroka Japanese Name: 激怒 愚か All fine. Nicknames: Bloody | Vampire | Oro-Chan | Monster from Mugoi | Chef (By Solider's) Epithet: "Bloody Vampire" "Bloody" is not a nickname. And let's just say that Vampires in the One Piece OC fandom are overused and stupid. Age: 6 (child) | 16 | 23 | 30 (age when she will die) Birth: 31th October 1476 Astrological Sign: Scorpio Handicap: Dextrocardia How is this exactly a handicap to her? You explain literally nothing about how it affects her. Also how wonderfully edgy to have your birthday on halloween. First Appearance: Memory Arc (My Own Arc | As Flashback) Seiyuu: (wip) APPEARANCE Spiece: Human Gender: Female Bloodtype: X (A in One Piece world) Hair: Red short hair who arrived on her shoulders. We noticed that almost every OC this person has has got red hair and almost the same hairstyle too. So I smell self insert. Eyes: Yellow eyes with a circle around her iris Height: 1,55cm Weight: (wip) Birth Marks: She have an birth mark of her family in the back of her neck Scar: Oroka an a scar on her nose, her left leg, and right arm Where do these come from? Tattoo: /// Makeup: /// Accessories: She have a medallion with the photo of her and her sister Akane Jewels: /// If she doesn't have tats or makeup or whatever just don't add it. It's unnecessary. Others: She have small boobs, and she have her teeth like vampire Why is it important if her boobs are big or small??? We can see it on the picture and it's just not relevant. This happens a lot in the OP fandom where people feel the need to explain in detail what kind of proportions their characters have just because the canon females have giant boobs. Your OC also isn't anymore special because she has small boobs unlike the others. STATUS Affiliation: Princess of Mugoi Island (former); Solider of Heiwana Island ( andylookout Island ) Occupations: Princess of Mugoi Island (before); Commander; Solider Another princess backstory and a tragic one too. It just keeps getting better! Bounty: 1.000 (At 6 Years Old) | 10.000 (At 10 Years Old) | 50.000.000 (At 14 Years Old) | 100.000.000 (At 16 years old) Bounty Disclaimer: Alive Where does this bounty come from? It never gets explained not even in her history. And giving your characters a bounty when they haven't even turned like 12 is kinda ripping off Robin. Btw don't pull a Sanji with the Bounty Disclaimer. INFO COMBAT Devil Fruit: Ketsueki Ketsueki no Mi (Blood Fruit) Type: Paramecia Who she eat it?: Forced to eat it by Osoro her father when she was 5 years old Alright first off: the goddamn Blood fruit is so overused on edgy OCs it hurts. And all OCs with this fruit are somehow extremely similar in both backstory and personality. It's always cliche af and why in hell would her own father force her to it something so valueable? Why wouldn't he eat it himself instead if he's so evil? And WHY AT 5 YEARS?? Weapon: She have a lot weapon, but her main is a long gun Capacities: (wip) Force: (wip) Weakness: Sea Stone, and Sea Water Haki: Busoshoku Haki; Kenbunshoku no Haki~ We never get to know how she got both Haki. You don't just learn these on your own, who trained her? Who taught her? Also I'd love to see One Piece OCs with more weaknesses than just the standard ones. Give your character a bit more depth. ATTACKS Brace yourselves. This shit is insane. Bloody Wings: Can create wings with her blood fruit. She can use them for flying, but she only can fly 30 minutes with her bloody wings. 30 fucking minutes. Robin can only fly for something around 5 seconds. Why is it such a popular thing to give your OC the ability to fly?? If you want your character to be able to fly give them a wings fruit or bird zoan fruit idc. But don't do this, it's overpowered. Bloody Body: Can transform her whole body into blood. She don't use it a lot, because for Oroka, that not useful How is that not useful?? Also this is a paramecia fruit. Your character wouldn't be able to turn her body into blood or whatever because it's not a logia fruit. Get your facts straight. Bloody Tornado: Can create a tornado of blood. She can do small tornado, large tornado, or big tornado. Her big tornado blood is always very strong. Wouldn't she die of bloodloss? I mean a whole tornado out of only her blood is a bit extreme don't you think? Or is the blood just appearing out of thin air? I thought it's her own. Bloody Clone: Can create a bloody clone of herself. Even if that a clone, the clone won't have the color of her user, but will have the color of blood. Of course. More overpowered bs. Bloody Whip: Can create blood whip. She use it like a normal whip. Bloody Shield: Create with a blood shield for protect herself. How does that work??? Things can go through blood quite easily unless you can harden your blood which would be just kawaii. Bloody Bullets: Attack her enemy with bloody bullets. Sometimes, she try to use Haki on it for make her bullets more strong.~ Why do you even need bloody bullets if you have tons of weapons and guns on you anyway? Decide on one thing. Bloody Sucking: Can take the blood of her enemy, and absorb it! Oroka never do this attack, she do it one time, and that was dangerous for herself too. She can't control this.~ Just no. And what do you mean she can't control it? Will she go insane with a horrible thirst for blood and then shimmer in the moonlight twilightstyle? And that tilde is just so sugoi. Teehee look at me I'm so strong and psycho owo ORIGIN Native Island: Mugoi Island - New World Gekido Osoro: Osoro is the king of Mugoi Island but also the father of Oroka. Osoro just consider Oroka like an object, and object who have to help him for having the power he want. He just want his child is strong and clever. He always call Oroka "peace of shit" and all bad nicknames. Oroka loved her father when she was a child, until she have 6 years old, where she start to hate him a lot. She already to try to kill him, but she kill her own sister accidentally because of him. Osoro also did a lot of scar on Oroka body, like in her nose, arm and leg, because Oroka never listen him, so for punish, she do the horrible thing to cut one part of Oroka body, but Akane always try to stop him when she can. If Oroka can't kill Osoro one day, she will never be in peace when she will die. So that's where the scars come from. Still wtf is this? Again if Osoro wants to be powerful so bad why didn't he eat the fruit himself? Also you don't just suddenly start to ultimately hate your parents by the age of freaking 6 and then just try to KILL them. Like holy shit this is not how kids work. Btw if he wants Oroka to be oh so powerful why did he try to cut one part of her body and just generally treat her like dog shit which would make her more and more handicapped? Gekido Nikui: Nikui is the wife of Osoro so the queen of Mugoi Island, and also the mother of Oroka. Like Osoro, she consider her own child like an object who have to help them to have power. She only do her childs for they have an object who have to be strong and help them, that always makes Oroka angry. But like Osoro too, when she was a child, she loved her mother Nikui, until her 6 years old too. For Oroka, she need to be killed like Osoro, she is bad for this world, and her own child. If Oroka can't kill Nikui one day, she will never be in peace when she will die like for Osoro. Same as before. Kids don't just randomly start to hate their parents at age 6 so much that they want to kill them. Kids around that age don't even really understand what's going on around them and just want to love and be loved by their parents. Gekido Akane: Akane is the big sister of Oroka, who is also for her, her real family. Akane is a very good sister with Oroka, always kind and here to help or protect her. Akane hate a lot Nikui and Osoro, so if they do horrible things to Oroka, she won't hesited to talk bad to her parents. Oroka love a lot her sister, she was always with her when she was child, because she was scared of her parents, but also she always smiled with her sister. Oroka will sadly kill Akane accidently because of Osoro who will use her as a shield when Oroka wanted to kill Osoro. The only regret she have is that she kill her own sister, even that not her fault. So Oroka was 5 years old when she was forced to eat the Blood fruit and at age 6 she was already capable of killing another human being?? What?? She's 6. She probably wouldn't even know wtf she's doing. And why did nobody stop her when she tried to kill her father? It's a 6 year old girl!! How is she even a threat??? You could just throw her out the window with one arm. Gekido Jihi: Jihi is the little brother of Oroka, they never meet, Oroka just don't know that she have a little brother, because he is born when she left her Home Island when Akane died. She will know that she have a brother when she will have 16 years old, but Oroka just don't care of him. Jihi hate her sister, and for him, she is a shame for Gekido family, he also think this for Osoro and Nikui. He will be very happy if his sister die one day. Spidy: Spidy is the little spider of Oroka when she was a child, she find Spidy at the forest with her big sister Akane. When Oroka see her for the first time, she love this little spider a LOT, and wanted to adopt her. She give to her little spider the name of "Spidy" and will always take care of her ! Spidy will live only one year with Oroka, and will die at the 6th Birthday of Oroka because of Nikui who kill Spidy...just because Nikui don't want that Oroka have empathy with animal, insect and humans... Ok first off insects are animals but aside from that "Spidy" is like the most uncreative name for a spider I've ever heard. The whole point of Spidy is to give Oroka more pity-points so that we feel even more bad for her. Oroka Grandparents from Osoro Side: She never see her grandparents from Osoro side, but she know that they are like Osoro. Oroka don't even want to see them one day, she hope a lot that they are dead. Oroka Grandparents from Nikui Side: Oroka see her grandparents only one or two time when she was a little child, and she love them a lot. She see them when she was 3-4 years old. She remember that her grandparents try to save her and Akane from Nikui and Osoro, and they wanted that Akane and Oroka have a good life, a good childhood, and all..Her grandparents never hated her, even if she turn into a psycho, they know that Oroka always have her good side when she was a child when they see what happen to her. Time pass, and Oroka didn't see them since she was a child, but always remember them when she grow up. She would like to see them again, because even if she don't show her feelings to others, she still love a lot her grandparents...Will she see them one day ? What stopped them from taking these two little kids with them? Why did they stop to try saving them when they clearly saw that Oroka was slowly going batshit insane and beaten by her parents? Why does Oroka not know where they are? And why are these grandparents so lovely and nice and their daughter Nikui such a bitch? Story: Oroka born on Mugoi Island on a 31th October. She is the princess of Mugoi Island and the child of the king Osoro and the queen Nikui. Since she born, Oroka never wanted to be a princess, she hate that and all princess things a lot. She just wanted to be free, like others peoples. But the only things interested her parents about her, that making her strong, powerful, clever, and the best child, only because they want to have power, something Oroka didin't want like her big sister Akane, but even if her parents are horrible, she loved her. Until one day, at her 6th birthday, she started to hate a parents a lot, for they, they are horrible, and need to go to hell, she also think that someone need to stop them before they do horrible things to others peoples. She stared to be crazy and got murderous drive, so she try to kill her own father Osoro, but Osoro use Akane as a shield to protect himself, that mean that Oroka kill her sister accidentally, the only person who was important for her. For her, that was her fault, only her fault if Akane died. She was very in rage in front Osoro for what he did, she tell to him that one day, one day she will pay for what all he did to her and her sister Oroka, and that she will go to hell him and his wife, and she go away from the Island because she can't stay here anymore. And all that happened on her 6th birthday on ONE day. Again, you don't love your parents the one day and hate them the next and want to kill them and want them to go to hell. What do you even mean by stopping them before they do horrible things to others?? What other people? How does she manage to escape too? She's a child, people should be able to catch her easily. After that Osoro do everything that Oroka got a bounty, she have 5.000 berrys on her head, and when Oroka see that, she didn't care, because she will kick or kill people who want to kill her or give her to Osoro or the Navy. But Oroka last name was not on her bounty poster, and that makes her happy because Gekido's are not her family, and for her she is not a part of them. I thought she had a bounty of 1.000 as stated above? Whats true now? Why does she not care if people wanna kill her? She's fucking 6 she would be scared as hell especially since it sounds like she never left the island before that. At her 10th birthday, 4 years after leaving Mugoi Island, Oroka got 10.000 berry on her face, people started to be scared of her, and try to hide they self if they see Oroka. She was always this little girl when she was 6 years old, she didn't change, well, she change, but in the worst way. If she need food or money, she don't heisted to steal people, if people don't give her what she want, she start to act crazy. When people see that she have the Blood Fruit, people start to call her "Bloody Girl" because for them, this is what she is. So she gets a raise on every birthday of hers. How convenient, the marines are so nice with their gifts. Where does that bounty come from, what did she do? And "Bloody girl" is just so ...cringy and cliche my head hurts. Btw she's 10, why is she such a big threat to other adults? Oh, because her devil fruit is so powerful of course, sorry I forgot. At her 14th birthday, she got again a new bounty : 1.000.000. But this time, she was angry, because she see her last name on her bounty poster now, that was not only Oroka now, but "Gekido Oroka". The thing that she don't know, that Osoro want her back, always for the same reason like at the past. She started to think at this moment that the date of her birthday is always a cursed day, with bad luck and all. But this is not always true. Another bounty, again: why? And oh how edgy, she hates her family and her last name so so much, those meanie marines how could they?! At her 16th birthday, she was on a Island called Heiwana, a type of Island she hate a lot, because that was an Kingdom Island. She will meet in this Island someone called Koshiro, she won't like him a lot, but the thing that she don't know, that when she will see this man, she don't know that she will have something that her own parents never give to her. (need to write it again) Yeah you sure as hell do. Why would she visit an island she doesn't like? Who tf is Koshiro? And let me guess what you're talking about is love. Absolutely didn’t see that one coming. PERSONALITY Laugh: Mouhahahahah ! Only the lamest villain laugh of all time. Positive Traits: Can be a nice person if we know her | Can have normal feelings like everybody sometimes -wip- Negatives Traits: Love killing people or torturing them | Never really happy | Never smile normally (this is SUPER rare, like impossible) | Act like an child when she want to make someone suffer | Have no empathy | Can't Lie -wip- This is so terribly edgy I cut myself. She sounds like Sasuke honestly. Normal feelings and can be a nice person but is a torture loving psycho at the same time? What? This is so bland idek. Likes: Blood | Torture | Cherry | Strawberries | Weapons | Having fun with her victims | Fight | Read Books | Insects | Weird Things | Be Free -wip- Hates: Hate people who want power | Hate kingdoms | Hate nature | Hate herself | Hate her parents | hate joking | Hate when someone joke on her | Hate when people call her a child | Hate when people compared her as a Gekido | Hate to do nothing | Hate dress | Hate shoes will long heels | Hate Make Up | Hate Treason | Hate when someone tell her orders and tell her what to do | Hate romantics things | Hate Coffee | Hate Tea | Hate showing her body | Hate showing her scars | Hate showing her Birth Mark | Hate when people call her "Bloody Pancake" or "Cherry Pancake" | Hate cleaning somethings | Hate some type of people | Hate to be weak | Cooking | The smell of smoking So she hates everything under the sun then. I also noticed a pattern in this persons OCs, they all seem to hate showing off their bodies or scars or whatever so the self insert smell intensifies. And "hate some type of people"? What kind?? And I'm pretty sure noone would call her bloody pancake if she's oh so scary and whatnot. Favorite Food: Cherry Hated Food: Everything about meat, fish and chicken food Favorite Color: Red Hated Color: Pink Favorite Drink: Cherry Juice | Coffee (only when that prepared by Kyoshi) Hated Drink: Milk Favorite Animal: Nope (she prefer insects) Hated Animal: Bunnies INSECTS ARE ANIMALS. And of course she loves everything red like cherries and shit and hates everything girly because thats not badass. Favorite Season: Winter Hated Season: Summer Favorite Flower: Red Rose Favorite Number: 666 This is a cliche as it can get. 666? REALLY?? Intelligence: -wip- Stamina: Good, but can be bad sometimes because of her Dextrocardia So here's a tiny bit of info about her Dextrocardia but it still gives NO insight to how much it actually affects her in battle or everyday life. Observation: Very Good Mental Strength: Good, but she have a psycho mental, so her mental can be good and turn bad as a psycho Then it's not good. It's terrible even. She's a psycho so she's pretty much insane and has NO mental strength left or at least she shouldn't if she's really the way you claim her to be. Determination: Full Determination Trust: Don't trust anyone Humor: She have more creepy stuff humor Patience: Depend of the situation, she can be totally calm, and start to get very angry in any second if someone broke her patience Laziness: She is not lazy, if she is bored, she always need to do something Pervert: Oroka is totally not pervert, she is a 100% asexual Habits: Always love to collect weapons, and also sometimes collect insects. Dream: /// Fear: Philophobia (Fear of Love) Sleeping Rhythm: She go to bed at midnight and wake up at 3 pm, she don't sleep a lot I thought her dream was to kill her parents? And why the fear of love? Where does that come from? Btw if she goes to sleep at midnight and wakes up at 3 PM she gets a ton of sleep. I think you wanted to say AM, right? I hope so. Smells like: Blood Urgh. Sexuality: Asexual Love: Nobody RELATIONSHIP STARDUST D. FAMILY Stardust D.Koshiro: Oroka didn't like Koshiro at the beginning, and never trust him, before, she think that Koshiro was like her father Osoro, but with time, she see that no. If Oroka is the commander of the army of Heiwana Island, that because of Koshiro who trust her a lot. Koshiro will be a little strict and direct with Oroka, and will be not gentle when they are training. That was hard, but with time, Oroka consider Koshiro like a father. He love her as a daughter. When did she become a commander?? And why on an island she hates too? Miyuki: (wip) Stardust D.Léo: (wip) Stardust D.Kosuke: (wip) Raid: (wip) MY OCs Teki Kyoshi: Kyoshi is a big fan of Oroka, she like her a lot, and love how she fight and all. She admire her a lot because of her courage, that because of Oroka if Kyoshi wanted to join her and her army. Oroka think that Kyoshi was very annoying with her at the beginning, but at the end, they start to be good friend, that will be also the first friend that Oroka will have. -wip- Why would anyone want to be around Oroka? She is known to be a psycho and scared by many so why do these people want to be friends with her or even let her in the army?? I'm sorry but handicapped psychos aren't exactly allowed in the army at least in the real world because they're deemed as not capable since they’re unreliable, Koichi: -wip- Hiromi Yoku: She know a little Yoku, an important person of Memory Island, Oroka think nothing about her, but Yoku think that Oroka is a very good solider for Heiwana Island. Hiromi Hanako: Oroka is wary with Hanako, even she know that Hanako is a very good person, she have her own reason to be wary. -wip- Hiromi Erika: With Erika and Oroka, that very special with them. Nobody know what or how is they relationship. Only some people of the past know what is the special thing about them. What? Why is their relationship such a secret? Why does nobody know about it if it's so special? Byoki : Oroka don't like her, because she is evil, and someone who is bad. She know that Byoki will do bad things to Memory Island. Byoki also hate Oroka, for her, that will be better if Oroka die. PEOPLES OCs Tell me if you want an relationship with Oroka, but she is not part of what happen on OP story, but before Erika is born~ No thank you. I'll keep my OCs to myself. And this is how not to make an One Piece OC. Our advice for you: Rewrite her story. It's nonsense that a 6 year old girl does all these things out of the blue and just because you call her a psycho doesn't justify any of it. It still makes no sense at all. Tone down the attacks and her powers and give her more weaknesses. I think you can do a lot of cool stuff with a Blood fruit but it only ever gets used by cringy 14 year olds who want to pump out edgy OCs to make them look super badass. Tone it down with the bloody shit as well. Especially her favourites and her nicknames. Your character can be a psycho or whatever but give them a bit more depth than just blood and violence and teehee I love torturing uwu. Give her more reasons to become as twisted as she is. People and especially kids don't just go crazy over night, no matter what crazy shit happens to them in one day.