#disclaimer i have nothing against chappel

[neonsbian]

"lestat's music should sound like chappel roan's" WRONG!! it should sound like scene queen's

[ibetonlosinghuskies]

patience and pleasure pt 2

summary: paige and azzi struggle with their unspoken feelings towards each other leading up to their last game.

warnings: slight angst, suggestive language.

disclaimer: everything i write is a work of fiction, any and all similarities to real life is not intentional!

word count: 1.6k +

author’s note: thank you for all the love on pt 1, i love y’all sm!! 💕

paige's pov:

of course i had my makeup bag. it never leaves my backpack actually.

azzi had only done my makeup a few times before, and it really does look better when she does it. but that's not the reason i asked her.

i've known azzi's signature lip gloss since we were sixteen. i've lost count of how many tubes i've gone through myself, telling myself it was just because i liked the flavor. but deep down, i knew.

the shade, the shine, the scent, it all belonged to her.

i guess i just wanted her on my lips.

something about the way she put it on me made my stomach flip.

azzi always gets this really serious look on her face when she was focused. it's especially apparent when she's on the court. once i see her put that face on, god bless anyone who comes in her way.

her consistency followed her off the court also. her fixed gaze on my lips when she applied my makeup. immersed in her own concentration, i took the time to study her.

i knew pretending to "forget" my makeup bag would give me time to admire her. as this being our last game, i don't know how many of these moments we have left.

and just when i had my opportunity...i froze. being with azzi sometimes made it feel like time was standing still. but this, this was different.

i'm still not over it. her lips meeting my skin, her soft breath against my face, the smell of her perfume.

i could melt in her arms if she let me.

following her out of tunnel, i licked a bit of her lip gloss off the side of my mouth.

that's one way to taste her.

lazily, i let my eyes outline her body as she walked with a swift confidence.

i can't believe i left her clueless. my sweet, shy girl finally made a move and i gave her nothing??

i need to say something to her, but my mind is blank, tongue-tied by the weight of her kiss.

azzi's pov:

i sped out of the tunnel trying not to think about how awkward i was. paige trails behind me, walking a bit faster to try to keep my pace. 

i can't believe myself. i've gone years without acting on these types of thoughts. and now, on our last game and i went and made it awkward. what if i made her uncomfortable? and here i was calling her the softie...

just then, i get that familiar feeling—the same one i get when paige is about to pass to me on the court. even when she's not looking, i can feel her burn for me. i know she’s about to say something, i can almost feel the words form on her lips.

i reach the end of the tunnel, where fans scream and whistle. finally catching up, paige walks shoulder to shoulder with me.

the sound of shoe soles on the court, chirping like morning birds. booming chants and whistles blend together in an overwhelming mass. herds of fans reach for her, arms outstretched in longing. the amount of times they chant her name, it starts to feel like it's not even a real word anymore. their rhythmic chorus engulfing everything around us.

my gaze shifts to her face. and just like that—everything stops.

the same noise that was pulsing through me just moments ago quiets to a soft hum. but with the look on paige's face, you'd think she couldn’t even hear them at all. a slight smile across her lips, the kind of smile you’d miss if you blinked. her eyes flicker across my face as if searching for something.

paige's pov:

every time i look at azzi it's like seeing her for the first time.

my ribs cave in like a dying star, heartbeat pounding. my body sings for her.

her beauty is devastating. it wrecks me every time.

she parts her lips slightly when she catches me staring. all i can hear is the stillness in her breath. soothing like a lullaby, she inhales sharply pulling me in with just a breath.

i quickly shift my gaze the crowd before she can meet my eyes. 

“PAIGE, OVER HERE. I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN,” a college aged girl shouts. 

i look up to see a girl decked out in head-to-toe uconn merch. my jersey across her chest as she leans down to me.

i absolutely adore my fans, it gets exhausting at times but i’d never let them see it.

i reach up to sign the girl's jersey. she’s rambling about something but i’m only thinking about how azzi is standing right behind us. i feel bad for being inattentive but i don’t want to waste a minute tonight not looking at her.

especially not when she looks this good.

as an apology, i shoot the girl a wink as i hand the marker back. “thanks for coming, ‘preciate it,” i say to her.

eagerly, i turn to find azzi, but she’s already at the bench.

god, i hope she isn’t still worried about what happened in the locker room. why didn't i say anything to her?

once i reach the bench, i quickly scan her face. i’ve studied her for years, i could recall every dimple, every scar, every freckle. our teammates think azzi is hard to read, but i think she pretty transparent if you know her well enough.

her discipline shows in her demeanor, with a stoic expression.

this time, though, it’s different. this isn’t her normal look, something’s bothering her. she's blinking faster than normal, her eyes darting from viewpoint to viewpoint, unsure where to land. i'm desperate to soothe her, to fix this.

i take a seat next to her on the bench as geno goes over plays. luckily, he’s facing one of my teammates to explain something so i take the opportunity to inch my hand closer to hers. hyperfocused on the small space between us, i finally meet her skin. the muscles in my hand go slack when i feel her.

i give in so easily to her, my god.

my pinky traces the familiar ridges of her knuckles. i can draw the lines on her hands from memory. a heat builds in my fingertips, i need more.

i brush my pinky finger against hers to attempt to soothe whatever she’s thinking about.

c'mon azzi, look at me. get out of your head.

her finger twitches slightly underneath mine.

was that intentional?

i search her expression like it will give me the answer. i look closely for a small smile, a furrowing of her eyebrows, a slower blink.

something, azzi, give me something.

i feel inebriated by my own desperation, but i swear i see her eyes soften for a moment. but still, she’s not here. whatever she’s thinking about, she’s in it deep.

i feel the muscles in her hand relax, and she lets me sink further, slightly interlacing our fingers. finally giving me an inch of surrender. before i can get a grip on her hand, geno turns around. with a swiftness that stings, azzi snaps her hand back into her lap.

i have to take a moment to adjust from her absence. her warmth slowly leaves my hand and i swear i feel my bones ache for her.

azzi’s pov:

paige reaches up to sign her jersey, resting a hand respectfully atop the girls chest. 

a jealousy submerges my mind as i watch, flooding my veins. it's instinctive and all-consuming. i hate the way i want to pull them apart. knees locked, i'm paralyzed by my own envy, choking on words i have no right to say.

you’d think i’d be accustomed to this by now but i’m not. paige is so deserving of all the love she gets from her fans. they see a small part of what i’ve seen in her since we were fifteen. but that’s the part of her i don’t want to share.

sometimes i just wish i could have her all to myself. i know she’s not even mine to keep.

i take a deep breath and try to control my expressions but i break when i see her wink at the girl. my brow creases slightly and i feel my breath stop. my face must have reflected my anger because the girl looks at me confused.

i snap my eyes to the floor and speed walk towards the bench.

i was so stupid for thinking that i could have her. i’ll always have to share her with the world. there’s so much of her to love, i was foolish to think i could handle the weight of fully knowing her.

when she meets me at the bench, i feel her eyes draw patterns around my face.

i need to get these silly thoughts out of my mind. i’ve been able to control myself for years when i thought about her like this. i know better…i just need to-

my thoughts cease when i feel her pinky finger brush over my knuckles. her delicate touch. she's cautious with me like she's approaching a wild animal.

my first instinct is to grab her hand entirely, to plead for more. i freeze caught between wanting to pull away or never let go. my body betrays me and my finger twitches underneath hers.

i can’t let myself get attached to her. i’ll be playing this game forever. i can’t handle the pressure of sharing her with everyone.

i feel her fingers sway across my knuckles like tree branches in the wind. i fight the urge to let her kind touch sedate me. but despite my best efforts, muscles start to relax.

is this girl trying to kill me? she’s playing with me. really, i know how she is. i can’t let myself get my hopes up.

when i see geno turn back to face us, i snap my hand back into my lap.

no attachments, i need to keep it casual.

[princessleiadelrey]

My last post getting notes has made me bold.

Let’s talk about Good Luck, Babe! from a Cherik perspective

(this is kind of a joke. Kind of)

Disclaimer: this is movie-verse Cherik

Aside from the fact that I very much think First Class! Charles pre-beach divorce (think just became a professor party boy) could be girlie pop enough to enjoy Chappell…

Here’s the highlight breakdown:

“It's fine, it's cool, You can say that we are nothing, but you know the truth. And guess I'm the fool”

very Days of Future Past, thinking about how Charles very much feels abandoned. Perspective wise, it’s giving Charles directing the lyrics at Erik.

“I don't wanna call it off, But you don't wanna call it love”

Again: very post-beach divorce sentiment. Charles did not want to lose Erik, even though he was hurt by him so deeply (betrayal, leaving, bullet mishap) it’s obvious that he still cares. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have been willing to work with him again at all (even if he was hesitant). Charles’ anger doesn’t completely overshadow the complex feelings.

“You can kiss a hundred boys in bars, Shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling”

So we know Erik has many partners (and several children with said partners), however he’s always pulled back to Charles somehow. The universe pulls them back together time and time again.

“You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling”

The only way to truly separate them, whether they’re clashing with each other or partnering together against a greater evil, would be if one or both of them died. (I.e. Erik changing his stance and helping them defeat en sabah nur in Apocalypse, Charles and Erik playing chess at the end of Dark Phoenix).

“When you wake up next to him in the middle of the night, With your head in your hands, you're nothing more than his wife”

Food for thought, despite how bad Apocalypse was: Erik trying it “Charles’ way” living a simple life with a wife and daughter, embracing the good in himself… I definitely think that Charles’ words really sat with him during that period, as he tried to lock away that more turbulent and violent chapter of his life.

“And when you think about me, all of those years ago, You're standing face to face with "I told you so"

I think in many situations, there have been “I told you so” moments for both of them. Like the Paris scene in DoFP, like Erik changing teams in Apocalypse… I’m not saying Charles is always right but he’s usually onto something. I also think you apply this to the last line too- seeing the good in him. He is capable of being good.

Obviously, this is joking but for the most part I think this song can fit their dynamic, especially looking through a Charles-centric lens, thinking about the pain he felt when Erik left. This also leans into some of the heavy Cherik tropes / fanon we see in fanfiction, I.e. the longing, lack of commitment, etc.

Someone argue with me about this, I dare you. Let’s start a Chappell Cherik discourse

[that-was-a-bit-stupid-of-you]

meeins cuz idk it's fun

basics

i'm ava

indian

bisexual

I have nothing interesting to say about myself

OH WAIT uh yeah I have adhd

I have no personality at all, but always open to conversation! (narrator: they don't know that she can't hold a conversation to save her life)

OH THAT REMINDS ME, my pronouns are she/her

most of the time, I don't tag any reblogs

that's... it. I like to draw and write. idk. I play guitar but I'm still learning

okay that's it I have nothing more to add

miscellaneous

books:

I first came here cuz of harry potter, but have long gone left that fandom (I'm fine with having convos about it, but that's it. fuck jkr, and hope she falls in a bathtub and- wait focus). anyways, so that's why you will find many old posts on hp, so yeah. disclaimer.

in the pjo fandom, but I haven't read all the books yet

completely against booktok and their rampant consumerism, romanticization of abuse and also. worst writing in history. I will judge you if you like colleen hoover.

fav books: animal farm by george orwell, not my problem by ciara smyth

currently reading: the woman's room by marilyn french and to kill a mockingbird by harper lee

books I wanna read: franz kafka diaries, the woman in the library, war and peace by leo tolstoy and many more

shows/movies:

I have watched the entirety of friends, however you will not see much of it on my blog

brooklyn nine-nine, and i will never stop talking about it. it is the best show ever, and ik it has its problems, but goddamn. in love.

derry girls because it is the funniest show in the whole world

one day at a time because if you don't see it. don't even speak to me, like.

the good place because I'm in the bad place right now

bridgerton. and no I haven't seen the third season

gilmore girls cuz it gives me the will to live

I don't remember omfg lemme check my blog

OH YEAH I ALSO WATCH MIRACULOUS (and lots of other stuff too I just don't remember)

if you see me post about chhota bheem (indian kid's cartoon) or doraemon (japanese cartoon). d-don't question it, okay?

music:

ex-swiftie. not a dedicated hater, but i dislike her a lot, so if you're a swiftie, you would probably hate me

current artists i like: niall horan, zayn malik, louis tomlinson, harry styles (can you guess which band I like lmao), hozier, beth mcarthy, chappell roan, sabrina carpenter and olivia rodrigo.

and a 🌟 if you guessed it, one direction

political views

this blog stands with palestine, and if you don't, boy do I have a list of curses for you

anti-billionaires and capitalists (can you guess why I'm an ex-swiftie hehe)

pro-choice

intersectional feminist

anti hindutva and bjp

atheist

[randomescapingwords]

- INTRODUCTION-

Hi beautiful people!

Disclaimer - I want my blog to be a safe space where we can all just be ourselves, and repost each others stuff -while being respectful and kind to each other. - basically i'm here to make friends!

If you guys are ever worried about anything or just want to talk or something, you can always message me! and PLEASE, send me random stuff to keep my little brain entertained. And also message me would love me some friends xo

but also my flow of posts - expect it to be crazy it will just be what i'm thinking in the moment

so who am I? ...

I'm a girl, i live in the UK ( great place i know ) Uni soon (eek!)

just an FYI - if you tag me depending on how long the chain is and what sort of tag it is i may not join in - nothing against you, your all beautiful people x I am just tired alot. This also applies if i dip for like a month i will always be back. I also get overwhelmed easily x

some interests...

I don't really have very many hobbies, but I do LOVE to draw and doodle, and I have a passion for singing ( i'm good at it too if i do say so myself )

I love love love musicals my tops are... heather's six mean girls beetle juice CABARET

My fav artists are: mitski ml <3 MARINA and Chappel Roan and just generally anything and everything

I'm always super open to new artists or song suggestions so please drop some!!!

I don't really do favorites for film and TV but my comfort films ig are: treasure planet ( but also ANYTHING Disney ) tick tick boom ALL mamma Mia or just abba burlesque xo

currently watching: rando films on my watchlist and tm s7

current interest: Roblox because i'm done with school and feel unemployed

that's pretty much me?

thanks for reading :)

oh if i spell stuff wrong please ignore it - i can't spell :(

[prairiechzhead]

Poldark S3 US Ep 5/UK Ep 6

Let’s see if my opinions from this post by @poldarkpodcast​ still hold up. 

First, a disclaimer. I rewatch the DVD I have and then I write most of this post. Then I watch the PBS broadcast to reconcile the full UK episode I’ve been watching and their edited for time US broadcast, because there is always the chance that something I referenced in my original post was edited out of the US broadcast. 

More answers than you can shake a toad at after the jump. 

What did you think of this week’s episode? 

For me, it was so-so. I didn’t hate it, but I wasn’t left ugly-crying like I was after last week’s episode.

The previous episode was full of action and feels and all the things. This one was not as exciting. But that’s not a bad thing because this episode both signals a wind down from Black Moon story lines and a shift into the Four Swans story arcs. 

Your favourite scene? Why? Basically any scene where Aunt Agatha threw shade at George. Also I loved the discussion between Dwight and Caroline at the end of the show. I think it captured both how each was feeling (in regards to Dwight’s PTSD) and showed that understanding each other is the key to dealing with this. When someone has a mental illness, the family has to deal with it, too, and more often than not, there isn’t much support for them.

I’ve been binge-listening to an older version of the audio book for Black Moon. (Basically, someone ripped it from a CD.) When the narrator is doing Aunt Agatha’s voice, he makes her sound like Gollum, especially when she’s talking about planning her birthday party. This has nothing to do with the scenes in the show, or which ones I like. It’s an observation I wish to share. 

One of my favorite scenes though, is a very short one with Agatha and George, where George is looking at Valentine in his cradle and Agatha makes a remark about being bullied and why George was bullied as a child. It wasn’t that he was poor, but it was because he was trying to deny his humble roots. She mentioned Valentine’s having rickets. 

Another one was that brief moment when Agatha gave Whitworth the stink eye towards the end of the episode. 

Least favourite scene? Why? Ossie’s toe sucking scene. If I were to ever consider toe sucking as a kink, this scene basically ruined it for me. That image of his porcine, red face with someone else’s toes in his mouth and then making the same sounds I do whenever I eat tiramisu will forever be seared on my brain. I can never “unknow” that this exists on film.

Three months later and its still gross. 

Shockingly, PBS left the toe sucking scene (or most of it) in the episode. They did edit out most of Ossie’s orgasm noises, though. 

It’s just as disgusting as it was the first time. See? 

I’m not into kink-shaming. But this never, ever makes me want to participate in this kink, either giving or receiving ever. Is it possible to gouge out your mind’s eye? 

Favourite new character? Why?

There were no new characters in this episode, but my favorite character was Aunt Agatha and her sassiness.

Her excitement over planning her 100th birthday party is one of the joys of this episode. 

Least favourite new character? Why?

George and his stupid, over-the-top, “Ross is behind every bad thing that ever happens to me” paranoia. If “When George blames Ross for something that goes wrong in George’s life” is not already part of the Poldark Drinking Game, it should be. I can handle that he does things to hurt others if it means personal gain for him. I’m tired of how the writers are having his main motivation always be trying to one-up Ross, rather than stay with his main motivation being his insecurity as it is in the novels.

My thoughts on this haven’t changed and I addressed it last week. As over the top as it is, it’s building to something in the season finale. At the time I wrote this, I did not know it. 

What made you cheer?

Zacky’s promotion to mine captain. While I am sure that there is no one in Cornwall who wishes that it had to happen because Henshawe died, I’m also sure that everyone will agree that Zacky earned it.

This time, I’m going to cheer over the fact that PBS edited out most of Ossie’s orgasm noises when he was sucking on that prostitute’s toes. 

For what it’s worth, PBS cut out Zacky’s promotion scene. Not happy about that. 

What made you want to throw things at the television/computer screen?

George blackmailing Morwenna into marrying Reverend Toesucker to keep Drake from the noose. Then having Drake find out about this the way he did. I know it’s for Drama™, but to me, it seemed way too over-the-top. The only thing that was missing was a mustache for George to twirl as he gloated over this.

This plot point was changed from the novel. Winston Graham likes to spring things on the reader and the characters, but in an understated way. One example is in the book Demelza with Julia’s death. We (the reader) don’t learn she died until Demelza’s fever broke. She asks to see Julia and Ross tells her that Julia was asleep or something like that. Then Ross wonders how he should break the news to Demelza that their daughter died. It was the same with Morwenna’s marriage. 

Novel Spoilers:

The wedding was held while Drake was in France, but neither Drake, Ross, nor the readers learned of this until after they returned. Then we learn the details. The engagement between Whitworth and Morwenna was never technically broken and she was not coerced into marrying Ossie as a condition of Drake’s release. Basically, George and Elizabeth lied to her about sending her home and releasing Ossie from the engagement. Elizabeth came to Morwenna on a Sunday and basically told her that the Whitworths were coming to Trenwith and there would be a wedding whether she liked it or not. Morwenna was misled and forced into marriage with this man, because George had dropped the charges against Drake. Because of the times and the circumstances, Morwenna was trapped. 

The audio book narrator in the version I’m listening to who is doing Elizabeth’s voice makes Elizabeth sound especially creepy in this section. 

So to a reader of the novels, the way they handled this would seem over the top. However, given how it was handled in the novels, the “I’ll let Drake go if you marry Ossie” ploy is actually less icky and makes Elizabeth and George look like way better people than how they looked in the books. It also makes Morwenna look like she’s making a sacrifice for her true love rather than be forced into a marriage to a horrible man because it’s the 18th century and she has no say in it at all. 

Most of Caroline’s reaction to Dwight’s PTSD, but particularly the line “why are you being so girly” was cut. People had taken exception with this originally last summer, because she was “insensitive”. Her reaction to his PTSD is correct for that time and place. You cannot expect someone in the 18th century to know how to react based upon the knowledge we have in the 21st century. There is no way she could know how she is supposed to react. 

Another “throw things” moment is the toad storyline. In the novels, it was a prank. On the show, it’s way too over the top. They gave George a phobia that seems to be the result of being bullied, so it’s not quite as funny as it was intended. 

In the novels, George did do some impressive mental gymnastics to try and pin the toad prank on Ross, though.

What was your performance of the week?

Caroline Blakiston as Aunt Agatha. She gave us the perfect blend of sassy shade-throwing, serious advice giving when it was needed, and sheer joy when she talked of her party.

I also would say that Elise Chappel deserves a nod for her portrayal of Morwenna in this episode. I do feel her pain. 

So to both ladies...

Any other observations you wish to share with us!

We’re over halfway through the season now. At this point, I think season 3 is okay. However, the more I watch it, the more I pick up on things I may have missed the first few times I watched, and my opinion on it will change. Because of so many new characters and story lines, it may have been better in retrospect, if they’d done only Black Moon for season 3. Then perhaps they could have taken the time to tell the story properly and without it feeling choppy at times and rushed.

I still think they should have only done Black Moon for all of Season 3. Then there would have been enough time to give to those storylines. By doing this, Four Swans, which is basically where this episode falls (with a few storylines not yet finished from Black Moon thrown in), would be all of Season 4. Then we would be guaranteed a Season 5, which would be Angry Tide, and then they could end the entire show with Angry Tide. 

They used the same exact footage of Ross riding into the gates of Trenwith and dismounting from his horse twice in this episode. First, when he visited Agatha and second, when he went to see George over Drake’s arrest for theft. 

Something I’ve wondered about the PBS broadcast:

How come Darlene Shiley always gets to personally tell us how much she loves drama and Masterpiece, but Conrad Prebys and Debbie Turner don’t? Why? 

Next Time: Oh this episode will be a doozy. It has been 3 months since it aired in the UK and I still haven’t been able to rewatch this.