#disappointing of jkr and others to call her a man smh

[gendiebrainrotreceipts]

there is literally zero proof she is intersex or trans or have high levels of testosterone… please at least just read the Wikipedia page on her if you refuse to do any research besides reading tweets. literally just all people looking at a muscular Arab woman with and going “that’s a man.” God imagine you are a female who had to fight for your right to be allowed to compete in boxing because your father did not believe girls should be boxers and you sold scrap metal to afford the bus fare to go train and now you made it to the Olympics and the fascist Italian PM is tweeting about how you’re a man and shouldn’t be allowed to box against women because you made some Italian boxer cry and give up…. And all the “feminists” around the world start insulting you and call you a man and ugly and a woman beater …. Next level misogyny on here from you guys, gotta say.

Idk if this is directed at me but like I said there’s a lot of misinformation surrounding this woman, personally I’m just trying to find out what’s true here.

[hellsbellssinclub]

To Be Brave.

So, @deadcatwithaflamethrower has somehow managed to give me actual Snape feels. Which is annoying because canon Snape was an absolute dick and I hated him completely when I read him and did not like how JKR tried to play him off as a hero when she didn’t really bother to show us anything much to back that up.

(yes I know he was a spy and risked his life but her wording and placements for everything was terrible. She may say that he was a hero, but by god all we got to see was an abusive authority figure who had it out for teenage kids. Limited POV with Harry did not help at all. JKR could have had a small chapter in the last book with Snape’s pov and we could have seen the brave man that she wanted us to see. SMH)

That being said, I have had a small plot bunny bite me not let go. So here is Au? One I don’t plan on expanding upon but here it is anyway. Enjoy.

It was in the third month of their seventh year when Potter singled him out in an unused classroom and apologised to him.

It was strange, to say the least, seeing the normally proud and childishly cruel boy be mature and calm. Though, Severus believes most of that calmness is because he has Severus tied to a chair and is holding both their wands in his hands.

Still, it was very strange.

Potter spoke quietly, his voice wavering as he spoke about his fears of the war that was brewing outside. He spoke of how many of their peers had already joined the man they were calling the Dark Lord. Potter spoke of how he feared he may have driven Severus and others into the clutches of the man who wishes to destroy all Muggleborns and those who support them.

And Severus cannot help the hysterical, broken laugh that escapes him. Because Potter’s fears were true. So many of his peers saw Potter and his friends as the worst example of Wizards and that the groups ‘playful’ pranks were often cruel and painful so most of them, Severus included.

The Dark Lord promised to make them powerful. To make it so no one could ever mock them or bring them down. He promised to make them strong. To make them united.

And by god was it tempting.

All Severus has ever wanted was to be strong. To be strong enough to stop his now dead father. Strong enough to be a good friend to Lilly who he lost because of his own cruel, thoughtless words. Strong enough to say no to this temptation that was before him.

He tells Potter that yes, he and his friends have driven so many away. That they and their childish cruelty hurt so many people, including him.

There are tears in his eyes as he speaks on how for most of them there is no other option. Their parents have forced them to take the Mark or they will die. And for the ones like him, there is no other place for them to go.

His fate was sealed the moment the Sorting Hat placed him in the house of Green and Silver.

Potter sheds tears at Severus’ words. Actual tears. He is unsure on what to say or do when he sees them. He has never seen Potter cry before of his own free will. Normally it is a curse or a spell that makes him do so but this...

This was different. Was he crying for Severus? Was he crying for their peers that were now trapped in this war, unable to escape?

Potter explains that there was an Order that was opposing The Dark Lord. One that was in secret because everyone knows the Ministry is compromised to the max. Potter says that Severus could join them, or if he didn’t want to join them they could get him somewhere safe and out of the Kingdom all together.

Severus... Severus does not know what to do with this information. A chance to oppose his fate? A chance to escape it all together. He could run. Run away and let someone else fight this war.

But...

“What about Lilly?” Severus asks. Because though they may not be friends anymore, Lilly is one of the few people he cares about still. He may have ruined their friendship with careless words and a bad choice of acquaintances, but that does not mean she is gone from his heart.

She was his first friend. The one who reached out to him when they were children. Who did not see him as a freak for being underfed or covered in bruises. She saw him for who he was. Who he is.

Potter says that she is joining the Order. Most of them were. When the Christmas break comes along they will all be joining. Potter says that he could join too and that Lilly would want him there.

Severus hangs his head. Would Lilly want him there? After all they have said and done, would it matter if he was there? Who in this Order would trust him fully? He was a Snake, through and through.

And no one ever wanted a Snake around.

The binds that trap him to the chair unwind themselves and his wand is held out to him.

“You don’t have to choose now. But think about it please.” Potter says, stressing out his words with desperation on his face. “Don’t throw your life away to a mad man hellbent on destroying the world.”

Severus stands and looks at the young man who is no longer a boy with a cruel and unkind sense of humour. He sees a pain in the others eyes that he knows only comes from being forced to mature too quickly. He wonders what brought it on but does not ask.

It is not his place to ask.

He says nothing as he walks to the door, knowing there is no wards around the room at all to keep him quiet about what was said. That there was nothing holding him back from going and finding those who had willing taken the Mark and telling them what he had just heard.

It was a sign of trust. One he had not ever had extended to him.

So Severus says nothing. He leaves the room and not a word of what was spoken leaves his mouth.

It was many months later, nearing the end of the school year and their graduation that he seeks out Potter and corners him in a room. He puts up as many privacy wards as he could think of and spells the door shut before he speaks to the other young man in desperate and quiet tones.

“They are planning an attack on a Muggle village tonight. They plan on killing everyone.” He says, voice quivering slightly as he relays the information he has. “I don’t know the time nor the place but I know that it is in Wales and that it is small and far from any other city or village. Tell your Order to be ready. But don’t let them know the information came from me.”

Potter looks grim at this information and pulls out a small mirror from his pocket. Severus watched in silence, a cold pit in his stomach as the other young man relayed the information to whoever was on the other side. Potter did not tell whoever he was talking to that it was Severus who told him the information. Instead the messy haired man says that one of their devices picked it up but was destroyed before he could get a copy to them.

“Thank you.” Severus says as Potter puts the mirror away. There was an ice pit in his stomach still but a weight was off his shoulders. He did not know if this Order of Potter’s would be able to save anyone from the Death Eaters or not, but there was a chance that they could. And Severus could not help but take that chance.

“No, Snape, thank you.” Potter took a small step forward to Severus and held out his hand. “I don’t know if the Order will able to save everyone or not. But those people will have a better chance than they did before because of you.”

Severus looks at the hand for several moments before taking it. “I do not wish to become a murderer, Potter. I do not want to be apart of this carnage. But I fear that it is going to be too late.” They, the Dark Lord’s minion (because what else was he supposed to call them?) were going to grabbing anyone who they think will be willing to join their ranks when they reach Platform 9 and ¾.  Severus no longer had a choice in the matter and there was no where he could run.

Potter lets go of his hand and runs it through his messy hair. “No one does. But… what you did today will save lives. Just that small little thing could save so many people. So thank you, again. If…”

Severus raises an eyebrow as Potter trails off and waits for him to continue.

“Hear me out, please. You could always join us. The offer is still there Snape. We… know that they are going to be taking people off the platform. You don’t have to join them. You don’t.”

Severus remains silent. What could he say to that? Could he, should he tell the other young man that if he does not join those minions then he would die. They would hunt him down and kill him. He was thankful at times like these that his parents were dead and that he had no true friends to call him own.

“I cannot.” He says at last, after several long minutes of silence.

Potter looks disappointed and sad and Severus cannot help but wonder when the hell Potter started to care. After all, Severus has only ever been the Greasy Git to him. What changed? Severus wondered if Black’s situation had something to do with it. He had heard from Reg that Black had left the family and was now living with the Potter’s. Did Black’s situation wake Potter up to what was really going on?

Severus didn’t know. He didn’t really want to know. In less than a month he would be on the opposite side of the battle field to Potter and he honestly did not want to know anything that might make Potter human to him.

If Potter remains nothing more than the pig-headed and cruel boy that he was in Severus’ mind then if it came down to it, Severus would not hesitate and kill him. He has already heard the horror stories of what the Dark Lord would do if you hesitate and Severus was terrified of what his life was about to become.

“Then… What if you still give us information?” Potter looked hesitant now, biting his chapped lips and shifting his glasses on his face. “I… I get it. You have no choice but to join him. But… But damnit you can help limit the damage from the inside.”

Severus freezes at this, his body going stock still. “Like a spy.”

Potter nods. There is nothing but earnest desperation in his hazel eyes.

A spy. It would put him in danger. A lot of danger. If he was ever caught than his death would be long and drawn out. But.

He could limit the damage, like how Potter said. He could save people, get them to safety. He could tip off Potter and the others when they were in danger of being caught.

He could end the suffering for those who could not escape.

Severus did not want to be apart of this war. He wanted to make potions and study in peace. He hated the idea of having to kill and hated the idea of being in this war.

But if he could help people. If he could save people.

Then he would.

On the last day of term, at midnight when everyone else was asleep preparing for the train tomorrow morning, Severus stood in front of the Headmaster who never liked him and vowed to be a spy for the Order of the Phoenix. He swore that he would do his best to not only gain the Dark Lords trust and confidence but to also save as many people as he could and given them information.

Only Dumbledore, and Potter knew of his true allegiance. Only they would know that he worked for the Order and not for the Dark Lord.

There was no going back from this point on. He would become something cruel and cold to fulfil this role. And perhaps when it is all over, when the war is done and gone, Severus would be able to go up to Lilly and tell her that he was sorry. Sorry for his words. Sorry for his actions. Sorry for not being a better friend.

He did not know nor truly care if she would forgive him. He would understand if she didn’t. But he still needed to say those words to her.

And when the war was over he would. He swore it.